#just maybe don’t eat harrow’s

[6th-for-truth]

** Very mild out of context OFMD S2 Spoilers **

Y’all, I have self-soothed my way through a year and a half of no new gay pirate content by going Deep into the lesbian necromancers brainrot. So please imagine the SCREAMING when there was so much Joddamn soup in the first 3 episodes of OFMD Season 2!

Naturally, I made stickers.

Throughout OFMD S2, I’ll be posting new designs on my Etsy on Sundays, so you’ll be able to find these there on Sunday, October 8.

[gayabeilles]

lowkey fucked up the gloves for my cosplay 👍

it’s not bad but my impatient ass could not wait for the red to dry and the black bled all the way up to the fingertips so I had to daub it off and wound up with a gradient which. isn’t terrible. but it is also not what I was going for.

the claw prints came out good though! they’re cooking under the uv light now :> just gotta prime&paint em, seal em, then glue em on and I’m finished with this cosplay

[hughes86-43]

Post Game | Q.Hughes

warnings - none! maybe some spelling errors! this was a draft that I had and just now finished. hope you like it!

The buzzing energy of the crowd after a harrowing Canucks win has you out of your seat cheering along with them as the buzzer goes off signaling the end of the game. The Canucks came out with a 5-2 win and you couldn’t be happier for Quinn and the team. You talk to the rest of the wags while waiting on Quinn to text you back about where to meet him after he is done with media.

Glancing at your phone, you see he sent you a text.

quinn: I’ll be only about 10 more minutes if you want to go wait by the car?

you: okay I’ll be there

Saying goodbye to the other wags, and even some fans that recognized you as Quinn’s girlfriend, you make your way to his car. You didn’t have the key, so you just leaned against the car.

Eventually you see more players making their way to their own cars, so you know Quinn should be on his way.

Petey is one of those who is making his way towards his car, spotting you he teases you by saying, “Goodness he’s making you wait out here? Man what a boyfriend he is!”

“I know? Gosh making me wait forever on him!” You say back to him laughing.

“Gosh not my best friend and my girlfriend teaming up on me!” Quinn says as he spots you two standing by his car. “It was only like 10 minutes that she had to wait,” he says walking up to you and wrapping you in a hug.

“10 minutes is way too long for her to be waiting!” Petey says shaking his head at Quinn.

Quinn just laughs, “Oh be quiet! We’re heading home now, good game tonight. See you tomorrow, wait, we do have morning skate tomorrow right?”

Petey laughs, “Aren’t you supposed to be the captain and know all these things? Yes, at like 10? Anyway, have a good night you two.”

Waving back to him, you say, “Have a good night, drive safe!”

Quinn unlocks the car, opens the door for you and says, “Let’s head home, love.”

You climb into the passenger seat and buckle up while Quinn goes to his side of the car and climbs in. You give him a quick peck on the cheek, saying, “Good game tonight baby, the crowd was buzzing at the end, it was crazy!”

“I’m glad you were here for it. I play ten times better when you’re here.” He says as he turns the heat on in the car since he knows you get cold easily. Yawning he says, “What do you want to eat? Do you want to stop for something or do we have anything at home?”

Thinking on it, you suggest, “I think we should just stop and get something since it’s late and I don’t want to cook and I know you don’t want to.”

He shrugs, “That’s fine with me. I can see you’re already getting tired so I don’t want you to cook. How about grabbing some Chinese food from that one place by our apartment?”

Nodding your head you agree with him, “Go ahead and head there and I’ll place the order to go.”

Quinn backs out the parking space and exits the garage. You place the order for the Chinese restaurant which is only 5 minutes down the road. Once he pulls into a parking spot, you guys just wait there until the food is ready. Quinn is the first to speak up, with a chuckle, he says, “Did you see me completely fall out there during warm ups, over some pucks?”

Not expecting him to ask that, you bark out a laugh, “Ha, yes I did! Don’t worry, I made sure you made it back up and skated again before I laughed…,” You say back to him shyly.

“Hmmm, I’m sure you did wait! As soon as someone falls, you can’t help but to burst out laughing, no matter if you wait on them getting up or not!” He says, as he just throws his head back against his headrest, chuckling to himself. Sometimes you just can’t help laughing at someone who falls, you’ve been trying to work on it.

“I know, but I did really wait on you to get up!” You say, checking your phone to see if you had gotten a message on whether the food was ready… no message yet.

Quinn looks over at you, he takes his hand to move some hair out of your face that is illuminating from the street lights, he says, “I know I already said it, but I’m glad you came tonight, love when you’re at the games.” Due to work, and traveling of your own, you make it to his games a third of the time, but if you can’t make it, you always make sure to have it on to watch at home or wherever you are. If you can’t watch it, you make sure to keep live updates on.

“I know, wish I could make it to more,” You say smiling at him. A ping from your phone indicates the order is ready. “Looks like our food is done, do you want to go in and get it or me?”

Moving his hand away from your face, he reaches for the door handle, “Don’t worry, I can get it, whats the name under?”

“I think I put it under Hughes, if not then it’s under my name.” He gives you a nod before opening the car door and heading into the place. You see him through the restaurant’s window, he is chatting with one of the owners (that you both have gotten to know since you both always get food from here). He grabs the bag of food, waves goodbye to the staff, and then heads out of the restaurant towards the car. Unlocking the door for him, you grab the bag of food out of his hand.

He says, “The owner says hello, and he made sure to give you extra fortune cookies since he knows love them. He also hooked us up with some extra Rangoon’s since the team won.”

“Well for that, I hope you tipped him well!”

“Of course, yes.”

Looking back over at him, you say, “Let’s head home, so we can eat all of this lovely food and sit on the couch and watch our show!”

Quinn puts the car in reverse and makes his way to the main road. He grabs your hand and thinks that there is no one else he rather spend time with after a game.

[elliesbelle]

how much i need you

ellie williams one-shot

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you don’t want to love your ex-girlfriend anymore, not when you know you’ll never amount to the girls she's loved before. maybe one day, she’ll realize how much she needs you.

content warnings: cursing, angst, break-up, ellie and reader are both in their mid-20s, joel is alive and never went golfing, descriptions of weapons, mentions of cannibalism, depictions of physical violence and blood, mentions of weight loss, mentions of death, extremely dark themes in general (proceed with caution), minors do not interact

word count: 10.5k

title based on lyric from the olivia o’brien song “hate u love u”

“I don’t think I can take it anymore.”

“Wh-what? What do you mean by that?”

“If you can’t get over this, I don’t think I can be with you anymore.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yeah. I do.”

“E-Ellie.”

The silence between you two screamed in wounded agony. You’d been arguing for the past hour in Ellie’s garage. It was the same argument you’d been having for the past two weeks: Ellie and Cat. Ellie and Dina. Being constantly surrounded by remnants of her love life was crushing you. And even more so that she’d still banter, still flirt. And it cut you every single time.

Ellie would assure you that it was all platonic, that it was normal, the way she spoke to them. That there hasn’t been anything between her and either of them in years.

But how do you forget your first love? Who you had all your firsts with? And how do you forget your most recent ex-girlfriend? Especially one that you still remain best friends with?

You were growing tired of the jealousy. And Ellie was growing tired of your insecurity.

“Just go.” She finally murmurs.

You stare at her blankly.

“B-baby, please.” You whimper.

“I…I don’t think you should call me that anymore.”

“Wh-what?” Your vision was blurry from the tears streaming down your cheeks, falling relentlessly.

“J-just go.”

Ellie still loved you. She loved you more than she was ever able to say. She loved you more than she ever loved Cat. And even more than she ever loved Dina. She believed for the longest time that you could be her person. But maybe not. Maybe not if you just couldn’t deal with her history, her baggage.

“Please, no,” You beg. “Please don’t do this.”

Ellie remains silent as she walks over to the door to open it, signalling you to leave.

No matter how much you bawled and blubbered, Ellie stood her ground.

That’s how you spent the next month: weeping hysterically and enshrouding yourself in your misery.

You spoke only when needed, giving empty and lifeless half-smiles. Others attempted to inquire about the change in your behaviour, much too frequently that Maria had to step in and demand that they stop.

Nevertheless, it wasn’t difficult for them to guess why your once pleasant disposition turned joyless. People no longer saw you with Ellie, only ever catching glimpses of you when you tended to your duties or grabbed supplies or food that you’d eat alone in the sanctuary of your own home.

Ellie hadn’t spoken to you since that day. She hadn’t even asked after you, fearing that she'd come grovelling if she kept tabs on you.

Jesse, who was a patrol leader, and Maria, who was in charge of assignments, took pity on you and no longer appointed you to take part in the daily task of safeguarding Jackson. It was a harrowing job and they saw that your weakened emotional state would not benefit from constant threats of peril.

You didn’t mind this, convinced you were a shit patrol partner anyway. Stealth was usually your strong suit, but that didn’t benefit you much when you came face-to-face with actual danger. You didn’t have the muscles or the brawn to fight threats head-on.

Instead, you spent your days in the greenhouses. It didn’t require much socializing, and the manual labour tired you out, so much so that you could attempt to focus on your fatigue instead of your feelings.

And the plants were hopeful, innocent, forgiving. When you were alone, it was the one place that you still allowed yourself to hum and sing. Everywhere else in Jackson was tainted with memories of your ex-girlfriend, even your own home. But here in the solace of blooming greenery, you could feign a sense of happiness and croon quiet melodies of Etta James and Sam Cooke to the flourishing sprouts.

You knew your life didn’t revolve around Ellie. You knew that. Yet even so, you spent all your time thinking about her late at night when you inevitably couldn’t sleep. You remained a prisoner of your mind as the countless reminders of her you’d been hit with all over Jackson that day would replay in your head.

Every day when you’d make your way to the greenhouses, you were forced to pass by Joel’s house and see the little garage Ellie’d converted into her home. You’d go into the main square and walk by people who used to ask after you when you’d come into town with her, but whose faces no longer turned your way to even spare you a morning greeting. It was Ellie who was important around here, anyway, not you. Walking into the supplies shop or the Tipsy Bison met you either with the same treatment or with pitying expressions, neither of which you noticed much over miserably spotting Ellie’s favourite snacks or her usual brand of alcohol.

Jackson was always more Ellie’s than yours. You loved this town and of course it was home to you. But you’d only arrived a few years back, whereas Ellie had resided here since she was 14. There was no Jackson for you without Ellie. And every breath you took in this town felt like a bittersweet knife being shoved down your throat.

You’d made a few friends since you first arrived in town. But you’d always been closest to Ellie and her group, even before she and you’d started dating. After your break-up, your social routine was disrupted and you made no efforts to confide in others, though a few tried.

The day after Ellie dismissed you from her garage, you heard fervent knocking on your front door around noon. It was your day off and you’d woken up from beneath a throw blanket on your living room couch, having fallen asleep while sobbing into the cushions for a couple of hours. You pulled the sheet over your head and ignored the knocking, preferring the warmth of the blanket over your cold, new reality. You tried to shut your eyes and will for the unwanted visitor to give up and leave, but you relented when you heard the sound of Jesse’s voice ceaselessly calling out your name and threatening to break your front door down.

Jesse had just gotten back from an early morning patrol with Ellie. He’d spent much of the dawn pressing her about her silent and despondent behaviour, and after she gave in and confessed the previous night’s tragic events, he headed straight for your house just seconds after they reentered the gates of Jackson.

Jesse was greeted with your sorry, pathetic state: lips puffy yet cracked as a result of your anxious nipping and biting, a halo of crust around your eyes from your incessant tears the night before, clothes completely askew and clearly slept in. You offered him an insincere smile, one that didn’t reach your eyes.

“Hey, sorry,” You said, voice cracking. “I was sleeping.”

“In your patrol clothes from yesterday?” Jesse inquired.

You gave him a shrug.

“Listen, dude,” He began. “I heard about what happened last night and I wanted to make sure that—“

“Oh, yeah, that. It’s okay. I’m okay.” You interrupted, waving him off.

“Come on, man, I know that you’re—“

“I mean, I’m sad and all, but what are you gonna do, you know?”

“—not okay, you don’t have to pretend otherwise.”

You gave Jesse another wistful smile.

“Look, I gotta go get showered and everything, but I’ll see you all for dinner later at the Tipsy Bison, okay?”

You closed the door on him before he could respond, having no intentions of meeting up with him or any of your friends that night.

You didn’t open your door for visitors again after that day. Jesse passed by later that evening after you didn’t show, but you kept all the lights off in your house and ignored his yelling and knocking ‘til he eventually gave up for the night.

About a week or so after that day, you were walking out of your house for your assigned morning patrol when you were stopped in your tracks by the sight of one of the last people you wanted to see at that moment.

Dina’s right hand was outstretched as if she was about to knock on your door. She looked just as shocked as you when you locked eyes.

“Oh, shit! Sorry, you scared me.” Dina said, exhaling with a quiet laugh.

“Sorry” was all you muttered in response.

You closed and locked the front door as Dina watched you with a doleful gaze.

“Hey, so,” She started. “I…I know that you and Ellie broke up. She told me a little bit about what happened that night, and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry if I ever caused any problems between you two and that I think she was seriously wrong for breaking up with you.”

You were barely processing her words, focusing your gaze instead on a crooked post in the brown picket fence that surrounded your house. You started feeling dizzy and you were struggling to remain upright and grounded.

“Umm, I totally forgot that I had something to do before patrol today. Can you tell Tommy and Joel that I’ll be a little late? Thanks, D.”

You rushed through your excuse before quickly unlocking and disappearing behind your front door, shutting it in Dina’s face the same way you’d done with Jesse.

That was the same day that Maria graciously told you she was taking you off the patrol rotation as you never showed up for your shift. Since then, the greenhouses have been your home away from home. You would arrive during the early hours of the morning before the sun had even graced the sky, and you’d leave only after most of Jackson was sound asleep in their beds. It was barely a life, but in a world where the alternative was being on the outside to be subjected to murderous demons, both of the monster and human variety, you couldn’t be completely ungrateful.

On a cold, snowy day where most of Jackson remained huddled in the shelter of their homes, Maria paid you a visit in the plant nurseries.

You were in a secluded corner away from the others who were also stationed as gardeners, repotting some seedlings into larger buckets. No one tried speaking to you anymore these days, not unless it was absolutely necessary. So when you heard the sound of Maria’s voice from behind you, you nearly dropped your shovel.

“Sorry to interrupt your work, hun,” Maria says apologetically. “But it’s urgent.”

“O-oh, okay.” You mutter, still reeling from the shock of being spoken to. “Is-is everything okay?”

“Well, half the town right now has dropped like flies because of this crazy flu that’s been going around. I’ve barely got anyone for patrols this week since most of them can’t even hold a pistol or stay upright on their horses.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” You respond, almost impassive. You had no idea how any of this pertained to you.

“Now, I hate to have to ask you this,” Maria began slowly. “But do you think I can put you back on the patrolling schedule until more of my guys can recover? I wouldn’t be asking, but I really don’t have anyone left to send out there and you’re already trained and know the routes and everything.”

You froze. You had little desire to break out of your mundane everyday routine, and you were also extremely rusty when it came to patrolling. But Maria was always kind to you and was understanding enough to take you off the patrol rotation in the first place. You owed her.

“You really don’t have anyone?” You ask.

“I’m desperate, hun,” Maria states. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

You sigh.

“When do you want me to start?”

“Tomorrow, your usual time in the morning.” She says. “That okay with you?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s fine.” You reply. “Which route?”

“I’ll give you a fairly easy one for tomorrow, give you a chance to get reacquainted with the road again. And don’t worry,” She adds. “I won’t pair you with her.”

You feel a sizeable lump in your throat, merely nodding in acknowledgement to who she was referring to.

“Okay. Tomorrow then.”

“Thank you, hun. It’s only temporary, I promise. You’ll be back in here before you know it. Do you want the rest of the day off today to prep?”

“No, it’s okay,” You reply, shaking your head. “I’ll be fine.”

“Alright, just maybe take it easy and don’t wear yourself out today. And go home early. I want you to rest up.”

You nod once more before returning to your busy work. You feel Maria’s hand on your shoulder and your body tenses up from the sudden physical contact, not having been touched by someone else in so long.

“Thanks again, sweetheart. I’m real grateful. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

You feel Maria’s hand withdraw from you before she exits the greenhouse, leaving you with immediate dread and regret.

The next morning came quicker than you’d liked. Unable to sleep, you’d woken up an hour earlier than needed and spent that time preparing for patrol. You prepared the essentials in your backpack: a medkit, flashlight, a water bottle, a few snacks.

Attached to the front pocket of your bag was a little pin of a moon in its third quarter. Ellie’d found it on a patrol with Joel over a year ago and gifted it to you to match her spaceship pin on her own backpack. You hadn’t noticed you still had it on yours and contemplated removing it. In the end, you kept it on.

The sun was nowhere to be seen behind the thick grey clouds that scattered flurries all around Jackson. Though it would complicate and prolong patrols, you used to love it when it’d snow. It brought a certain kind of beauty that balanced out the dead and dark winter.

You had countless memories of you and Ellie in the snow: you gleefully rushing to the window when seeing it fall from the sky for the first time in the year and Ellie quietly admiring the way your face lit up every time, challenging each other to a snowball fight where Ellie would decimate you with no mercy to which you’d punish her for by stuffing handfuls of snow down her shirt, attempting to build a snowman in front of your house that ended up looking more like a blobfish instead and who you’d both affectionately named Puddles.

But now as you silently stomped through shallow puddles towards the stables, you curse the sky for ungenerously sending the white powder on a day you just wanted to be over as soon as it began.

You get to the stables, nodding at the stablehands with a curt smile, and walk up to your horse, Cleopatra. You smile as you brush her mane lightly with your fingers.

“Hey, old gal,” You sigh. “Sorry for being away so long.”

You then head to the armoury, planning to stock up on weaponry for the trip. As you’re loading a pistol, you hear someone join you from behind.

Dina comes up beside you and begins to load a shotgun. You work in silence for a few moments before she speaks.

“Hey,” She greets. “Jesse told me you were back on the patrol rotation.”

“Temporarily,” You correct her. “Just a favour to Maria while people are out sick.”

“Right,” Dina says. “You gonna be alright?”

“Mhmm” was all you say as you load a rifle.

“Well, don’t die out there!” Dina attempts at a joke.

“No promises.” You mutter as you exit the armoury.

You return to the stables to grab Cleopatra, walking past others preparing for their patrols as well. After a stableboy hands your her reins, you walk her out of the paddock and towards the large gates.

Spotting Jesse, you and Cleopatra head over to his direction while he gives orders to a couple of patrollers who looked like they’d never stepped outside the walls of Jackson in their lives. As they walk away, Jesse spots you walking towards him and his face breaks out in a smile.

“Maria told me you were coming!” He says jovially, giving you a one-arm hug that you tepidly return.

“Who are you sending me out with?” You ask, not wishing to engage in small talk.

“This guy Antoine,” Jesse replies. “He’s about our age and works in the stables, but Maria recruited him temporarily.”

You nod.

“Sorry to put you with someone new,” Jesse continues. “We’re trying to pair newbies with people with experience so we’re not sending people to their deaths out there.”

“You sure you want to send him out with a shit patroller like me?” You say.

“Oh, stop that,” Jesse reprimands. “You’re an excellent partner.”

You hum in disagreement and say nothing. Jesse leads you to where a tall, blonde man you assumed was Antoine who was standing and holding the reins of a horse you remembered was named Pink. He introduces you and talks about which route you’d been assigned to, and you and Antoine politely nod at each other before lining up with the rest of the patrollers right in front of the gates.

As Tommy and Joel give their usual speech on what to look out for and updates on what had been encountered on recent patrols, you suddenly feel a sense of dread wash over you. Ellie had walked up to join Dina, who was her patrol partner that day, with her horse Shimmer by her side. Your eyes betray you as they unwittingly fall on her casually conversing with Dina, laughing at a joke she seemed to have said. Tearing your gaze away from the sight, you don’t realize that seconds after you’d stopped looking at her, Ellie’s face drops as her eyes fall on you.

Once Tommy finishes a spiel on raiders having spotted nearby and warning against them, he and Joel nod everyone off to proceed with their duties as the sentries finally open the gates. You mount Cleopatra as Antoine does the same with Pink, and you start to pull at her reins to depart when you suddenly hear hoofbeats clopping towards you. Your face drains of blood as you see Ellie on Shimmer coming up to your side.

“Hey.” She says as she pulls Shimmer to a stop.

You try to work yourself up to greet her back but your mouth remains silent.

“I, umm, saw you got put back on patrols.” She mutters.

You muster up enough of your voice to mutter back, “For now.”

“Well, uhh. Be careful out there.” She cautions.

Unable to hold back a scoff, you say, “You don’t care.”

Before Ellie can respond, you tap Cleopatra lightly with your foot and jerk at her reins to signal her to move forward. You hear Ellie trying to call you, but you force yourself not to look back as you ride Cleopatra out of Jackson.

Antoine was the perfect patrol partner, in that he remained silent for most of your round. He seemed to sense that you were in no mood for small talk and only spoke in response to any directions you gave.

Maria upheld her promise of giving you a fairly easy route to scout. You and Antoine hadn’t encountered any Infected or otherwise throughout most of the patrol. After searching a nearby abandoned neighbourhood a little past noon, you decide that it was time to make the journey back to Jackson.

However, it seemed that Antoine, who had never been outside the walls of the town, was reluctant to leave.

“Wait, I kind of want to explore a little more.” He says, refusing to mount his horse Pink and heading into the empty house where he had her reins tied to the fence.

“Antoine!” You call out after him, having already mounted Cleopatra and readied yourself to leave. Antoine ignores you as he disappears behind the front door. You curse under your breath as you hop off your horse.

“Get your ass back here!” You yell as you cross the threshold of the house. You explore the place, scanning each room in an attempt to find the blonde man who you desperately wished to throttle.

You find him in one of the bedrooms upstairs, reading through a comic book he’d found in a small bookshelf in a corner. The front cover had an array of superheroes in nonsensical outfits, looking as if they were fighting in some war in outer space. You ignore the voice in your head that thought about how it looked like something Ellie would find fascinating.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You demand.

“I can’t believe this is really shit that they had back in the old world. Whoever lived here has like, fifty of these.” Antoine says.

“Who the fuck cares, Antoine,” You angrily seethe. “We shouldn’t be out here too long. There could be Infected around.”

“We just checked out the whole neighbourhood and there wasn’t anything. Lighten up a little.” He replies.

“Just because we haven’t seen anything, it doesn’t mean there isn’t anything out there!”

“Look, this is my first time outside of Jackson. I just want to enjoy it for a little bit before I get stuck back on stable duty.”

“You wanna enjoy being out here where you could get ripped apart by monsters at any sec—” Your tirade was interrupted when the butt of a gun knocks you out.

Ellie and Dina were just returning from their patrol after being delayed by a group of Infected in a nearby grocery store. Trotting through the gates with their horses Shimmer and Japan, they were laughing over some ridiculous pun Ellie had just made and didn’t notice Jesse sprinting towards them.

“Jesus, fuck, thank god you’re both back.” He says as Tommy follows behind him.

“Sorry, man, had to clear out that grocery store about ten miles west. Had like, ten runners in there waiting for us.” Ellie explains, laughter still resonating in her voice.

Dina, noticing the serious look on Jesse’s face, eyes him warily.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” She asks him.

“You’re…you’re not the only ones who hadn’t returned yet.” He replies.

Ellie’s face falls slightly as she finally realizes the gravity of the situation.

“Oh shit, who else hasn’t gotten back?”

“It’s just one other pair who seems to be running late.” Tommy says, having caught up to the trio. Jesse gives him a warning look in response.

“Wait, who?” Dina asks, dismounting from Japan.

Jesse and Tommy unwittingly look at Ellie at the same time before sharing an anxious look. Ellie narrows her eyes.

“Who, Tommy?” She asserts.

Tommy opens his mouth to speak but immediately shuts it as Ellie’s face shifts from confusion to understanding. She pulls at Shimmer’s reins, urging her to turn around and retreat from the gates of Jackson once more. Jesse dashes forward and stops Shimmer in her tracks.

“We don’t know what’s happened yet, Ellie. They could have just gotten held back by something.”

“Fucking move, Jesse.” Ellie spits.

“She’s a smart girl, El. I’m sure she’ll be back soon.”

“I swear to god, dude, I will run you over.”

“What route did you assign them to?” Dina asks.

“The one that goes southeast and follows the river into that abandoned town about fifteen miles east.”

“Tommy!” Jesse chides, having withheld that information on purpose.

“Great. Thanks, Tommy.” Ellie says, urging Shimmer to walk past Jesse before Dina steps in front of her as well.

“Ellie, that’s a real easy route. I’m sure she’s fine.” Dina assures.

“She’s with that dumbass stableboy who’s never been outside of the town, much less held a gun before. If nothing’s happened, they would be back by now.”

“She knows how to take care of herself, kid.” Tommy chimes in. “I’m sure that the snow just delayed their return, that’s all.”

“Just give them an hour, dude,” Jesse adds. “If they’re not back by then, we’ll send a few people out to search.”

“A lot can happen in a fucking hour, Jess,” Ellie retorts. “I’m not leaving it up to chance.”

“What’s going on?” A voice behind the group says. They all turn to see Maria walking towards them.

“These fucking assholes won’t let me go after my fucking girlfriend.” Ellie hisses.

“Ex.” Jesse corrects her. Ellie shoots him a menacing look.

“Did they also tell you that we’re ready to go out and look for them if they don’t return soon?” Maria says, ignoring the exchange.

“I can do it right now.” Ellie replies stubbornly.

“You’ve been out patrolling all day, hun. I’m sure you’re tired. I’ve already gathered a group of people to help search the area if they don’t get back soon.”

“But—”

“Don’t let your guilt make you do something stupid, Ellie.” Maria interrupts with a tone of finality.

Ellie stares at her as Jesse pats her leg.

“She’s a smart girl, Ellie.” He repeats. “I’ll go out with the searching party myself too if they don’t get back soon.”

“Wait!” Dina yells, looking past the gates. “I see something!”

The group all focus their gaze on the direction she’s pointing at, making out a couple of figures approaching. Ellie breathes a sigh of relief when she makes out the outline of two horses approaching, but the moment is short-lived when the sight, which was originally obscured by the snow, reveals only one person riding on horseback.

Ellie dismounts from Shimmer as Antoine finally crosses the border of the town. She makes a beeline for him, angrily grabbing at his shirt and almost ripping him off Pink.

“Where the fuck is she? Why the fuck are you alone?!” She demands as Dina and Jesse tear her off him, allowing him to properly get down from his horse.

“I–we–I don’t…” Antoine begins to stutter.

“Speak, boy.” Tommy demands.

“I don’t…I don’t know where she is.” Antoine admits.

Maria, ignoring Ellie’s various curses and swearing, moves forward to speak.

“What the hell does that mean, Antoine?” She asks coolly.

“We got ambushed at the town we were patrolling, we were inside a house and they snuck up behind us, they knocked her unconscious and I was able to get away before they could get to me.” He replied so quickly that they almost didn’t catch what he was saying.

“So you fucking left her?” Ellie growls.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t know what else to do!”

“We gave you a gun, you were put into training beforehand,” Jesse scolds. “You’re partners for a reason. You’re supposed to fucking look out for each other.”

“I-I panicked. There were several of them and they were all big guys and—”

“It should have fucking been you instead!” Ellie screams, lunging towards Antoine before Tommy catches her and holds her back.

“What did they look like? Did they say anything? Anything at all that can lead to where they might have brought her?” Maria inquires.

“I-it was so quick and I couldn’t get a glimpse of their faces. They mostly wore black clothing. And th-they said…”

“Said what?” Jesse prompts.

“They said, ‘this one looks like she’ll be pretty delicious,’ before I could escape.”

You wake up to a throbbing headache and severe nausea. Your right hand flies up to your temple while the other shields your eyes from a blurry, yellow light being cast from somewhere above you. The first thing you see once your vision clears up a little is rusted, silver fencing that served as a cage. As you peer at your surroundings, you hear the repetitive sound of a blade hitting timber.

Sitting up, you see two men facing away from you and leaning over a wide, wooden table. One had a large sack flung over his shoulder that slowly dripped blood, while the other was wielding a butcher’s knife, chopping some kind of meat that your view was obscured from. It was only when the man slides it off the table with his blade that you realize what it was as you take in a sharply drawn breath: a human arm.

Your silent gasp catches the attention of the man with the sack, who nudged his companion. They both turn to look at you, the knife holder smirking as he did so. He places it down on the table to bring his full attention to you.

“Get Ian,” He tells the other man. “Tell him the girl’s finally awake.”

His friend nods before dropping the bag and walking out of the room which, as you inspect further, looked almost like a slaughterhouse. Your eyes flit back and forth between the man staring at you and the cage imprisoning you. You try to search for flaws in the fencing for a chance to escape, but you find none. The man continues to eye you, almost with an air of cruel arrogance.

A few moments pass before he’s joined by a different man with brown hair and a lightly-shaved beard. He joins his friend leaning on the wooden table and addresses you directly.

“Good morning,” He states civilly. “How are you feeling?”

You don’t respond, intent on keeping your interactions with these strangers as minimal as possible. The man continues to speak anyway.

“I apologize for the way my associates treated you. I’m sure they didn’t mean to knock you out that hard. You were unconscious for much longer than needed.”

He approaches your cage to crouch at your eye level and you instinctively back away until your back hits the wall behind you.

“My name is Ian, and this is my friend Jacob. Can you tell me what your name is?”

You make a show of tightening your lips in defiance.

“That’s alright, I get it. We’re strangers, after all.” He says, holding his hands up in acknowledgement. “We’re gonna get to know each other pretty well, I’m sure.”

Your eyebrows furrow, wondering his meaning but still too scared to open your mouth.

The man who had gone to fetch Ian returns with a wooden tray of food and a small cup in his hands which he slides underneath a small gap underneath the makeshift cage’s door. You eye it suspiciously. Your brain and your stomach are at war with each other, one begging for sustenance while the other berates it for its naivete.

“You better eat up,” The man named Ian says. “Gonna need your strength. Looks like you haven’t been eating much. And I know you’re hungry; been out for quite some time.”

You ignore his comment about the clear loss of weight you’ve gone through recently, knowing your face was slightly more gaunt than it ought to have been from eating a lot less for the past month.

“What is it?” You question despite yourself, eyes shooting towards the tray at your feet.

“It’s deer.” He responds simply.

Your eyes dart towards the human body parts that lay on the floor. Ian smiles and understands what you’re thinking without turning to see where your gaze is directed.

“Just deer meat. I promise.”

You go back to eyeing the food they’d given you, every ounce of your willpower being tested. To give in and eat the food they’d provided would be playing into their game, but you had no idea how long you’d been asleep and you were ravenous.

The man Ian had introduced as Jacob speaks up.

“I think we should just get rid of her; she seems stubborn.”

“Most of them are,” Ian responds. “We’ll break her. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

You glower at him in response. He chuckles.

“We’ll give you some time,” He continues, standing up from his hunched position. “It’s ultimately up to you to decide your fate. Hope you like solitude.”

Ian looks at his companions and beckons them to leave. Jacob follows and the unnamed man picks up the sack he’d dropped previously, places the human remains on the floor inside of it, and follows the two others out before locking the door behind him.

You release a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding this whole time. It takes a few minutes, but you’re able to pull yourself up from the floor to further examine your surroundings. Even after closer investigation, the silver fencing seemed impenetrable and solid. The wooden tray they’d served the deer meat on was flimsy and thin, impossible to use as either a weapon or a means of escape. The cup was small and plastic, completely useless for anything else other than its intended purpose.

As options for liberation grew slimmer and slimmer, you begin to hyperventilate. You had a feeling that these men intended to leave you in here alone to go completely mad, at least until they decide to execute the next stage in their malevolent plan. You had no weapons, no means of escape, no company.

Your mind finally falls on your patrol partner, Antoine. Why wasn’t he in here? Did he get away? The trio made no mention of him. He would have been in here if he was captured as well.

Or did they “take care” of him first? You begin to feel even more nauseous when you remember what the man Jacob had been doing prior to your waking. Was Antoine not spared? You had no idea how long you were out for. Ian had only said that you were out for a while. Regardless of your loathing for Antoine and his stupidity, you prayed to every known entity out there that he’d made it back to Jackson.

Your heart sank even further down your stomach upon coming to another realization: was anyone looking for you? Surely after all this time, they’d realized you hadn’t been back from your patrol. They’d sent out search parties when people had gone missing, but how determined would they be to find you? Would they not just assume you were dead or, even worse, bitten? Who would be risking their safety outside the walls of Jackson for the shadow of a person that barely a soul in the town noticed anymore?

Ellie had not slept for more than twenty minutes in the past 72 hours. Despite Maria’s protests, she’d joined the search party that had been scouring the outskirts of Jackson for you. Maria eventually relented on letting her go when Joel had volunteered to join the mass of citizens tracking you down, promising her that he’d be by her side. Jesse and Dina had both stepped forward to take part as well, but Maria put her foot down and pointed out that she still needed competent protectors to continue keeping Jackson safe.

Antoine was dragged into joining the search party on the first day to retrace the steps you and he had taken during your patrol. He abashedly walked Ellie and Joel through the house you’d been kidnapped in, leading them into the bedroom where you’d been knocked unconscious. After squeezing every bit of information out of him, Joel crisply ordered Antoine to go back outside and wait with the horses while he and Ellie scoured the place.

Within moments of their search, Ellie spots a glint of metal on the rug. She crouches down to further inspect what had caught her eye to find a sharp, golden point aiming upward. She turns it over to see it was the half-moon pin she’d given you over a year ago. It was missing the backing, which she knew meant it was accidentally torn off your backpack that she knew you’d pinned it on.

Slowly standing up, Ellie didn’t realize that she’d begun to sob. Joel turns to her and before he’s able to inquire anything of her, she holds out the hand carrying the pin. He picks it up and examines it, immediately recalling the day when he and Ellie had found it during patrol. He remembered how gleeful she was upon its discovery, how he’d rolled his eyes and chuckled over how absolutely lovestruck she was over you. He pulls her into a tight hug as she continues to cry uncontrollably.

“We’ll find her, kiddo. You and me, we crossed the entire country together and survived. We’ll find her together, I promise.”

It could have been days, weeks that had passed since you were abducted. Time had no meaning in your small prison, nothing but the sun shining through a small window to indicate what vague hour of the day it possibly was. Your only source of human interaction was when someone would bring you a tray of food twice in, what you’d assume, a day. You’d eventually caved into your hunger, realizing that you had no other choice other than resorting to the same barbaric sin these people had grown so comfortable in doing. Your only comfort was knowing that they had only been feeding you deer meat, the flavour remaining unchanged and the taste never being unfamiliar.

It was a different person delivering the food and water every time, leading you to believe that this was a larger group of people than just the three men you’d met on your first day. At first, you attempted to keep count of how many came in, but your solitary confinement was quickly driving you to delusion and you began to doubt your memory.

The only thing that was keeping you mildly sane was singing to yourself throughout the day. The act that had once brought you solace during your time in the greenhouses was the one thing that was keeping you grounded as you felt yourself slowly withering away.

🎶 Tonight, you’re mine completely // You give your love so sweetly

Tonight, the light of love is in your eyes // But will you still love me tomorrow? 🎶

Memories of Ellie come flooding to you like an avalanche: the way she’d wrap her arms around you while you were quietly humming songs from the old world to yourself as you washed dishes, the way she’d urge you to keep singing as she tried to twirl you around in your living room, how she used to love laying on your chest and listening to your crooning as you’d stroke her hair when you’d both be lounging on a day off.

🎶 Is this a lasting treasure // Or just a moment’s pleasure?

Can I believe the magic of your sighs? // Will you still love me tomorrow? 🎶

You and Ellie both bonding over your love of music was one of the first steps towards falling in love with one another. You’d always been drawn to her, since the moment your eyes met. But as you both learned more about each other, that attraction grew into the feeling of needing her for the rest of your life.

🎶 Tonight with words unspoken // You say that I’m the only one

But will my heart be broken // When the night meets the morning sun? 🎶

You wonder if you’d be where you were in the first place if you and Ellie hadn’t broken up in the first place. You would have kept your patrol duties, and maybe you wouldn’t have gotten paired up with Antoine. Maybe your desolation and disconnect from life turned you careless. You’d been in mortal peril several times in the past. But not like this.

🎶 I’d like to know that your love // Is a love I can be sure of

So tell me now and I won’t ask again // Will you still love me tomorrow?

Will you still love me tomorrow? 🎶

You needed Ellie.

It had been over four days since your sudden kidnapping, and Ellie was growing more and more desperate. There had been little traces of where you’d been taken and even less proof of whether you were still alive. Ellie felt every part of her dying every second you hadn’t been found, and the only thing that kept her going was her unyielding determination to have you safe and sound back home.

It was evening when Ellie and Joel had regrouped with the rest of the search party at a watch tower that usually served as a patrol checkpoint. She and Joel had safely tied the reins of their horses next to the others before heading to the second floor of the watchtower. Ellie had been adamant to continue searching through the night, and it took everything within Joel not to drag her by her toes to get some rest and convene with the others.

Joel was reprimanding her calmly for making them late meeting up with the rest of the search party as they walked into the room full of other Jackson citizens who were all conversing erratically. When they’d set eyes on the pair, a hush fell over the group. Ellie and Joel begin scanning their faces before a woman in the middle speaks up.

“We think we might know where they are, Joel.” She announces softly.

Ellie’s exhausted demeanour immediately shifts to alertness.

“Where? How do you know? Are you sure?” She demands agitatedly.

Joel holds a hand up to Ellie before saying, “What did you find?”

“Audrey and Lyn spotted some raiders about six miles northeast. Or at least, they thought they were raiders. They overheard their conversation and…” She looks over at a pair of women sitting on a couch to the side.

“They’re from a settlement not too far from where we spotted them.” The woman named Lyn speaks. “I’m not sure how we never discovered it, but there’s a rather large group that’s dwelling in that area. Not nearly as big as Jackson, but a good amount,”

“They armed?” Joel questions.

“Yeah. We need to be careful approaching them. It doesn’t to be as safely guarded as Jackson, but the sentries still look vicious.”

“Do we need backup?”

“I think as long as we’re smart and stealthy, our group will be good enough to infiltrate their village.”

“How do we know for sure that she’s in there?”

Lyn exchanges a look with the woman Audrey next to her.

“They were talking about some fresh meat that they’d acquired just a few days ago, a girl. They—”

Lyn falters, unable to finish her sentence. Audrey glances at her before looking at both Joel and Ellie with wary eyes.

“Th-they’re cannibals, Joel.”

All the colour drains from Ellie’s face as she’s flung into memories from a decade ago of being trapped in a cage by a man named David.

🎶 They say everything can be replaced // They say every distance is not near 🎶

You were laying on your back, facing up at the bleak and boring ceiling that you’d grown to memorize.

🎶 So I remember every face // Of every man who put me here 🎶

Your eyes were glazed over, autonomously singing lyrics to a song that you knew by heart.

🎶 I see my light come shining // From the west down to the east 🎶

You try desperately to cling to the memory of Ellie’s face, terrified to lose all the small details that you felt slowly slipping away as you descend more and more into sequestered delusion.

🎶 Any day now, any day now // I shall be released 🎶

“Is that what you think, sweetheart?” A voice interrupts your musical reverie.

You turn slowly towards the speaker who was crouching outside your cage, your head the only thing that moves as the rest of your body is too weak to physically respond.

“You have a beautiful voice. I’ve been growing fond of hearing it these past few days. Big fan of the oldies, huh?”

You continue to stare at Ian, your face expressionless.

“That’s something we’ve got in common, you and I. I’m quite partial to Otis Redding myself.”

You struggle to keep down the bile building up in your throat at hearing this repulsive man expressing love for something.

“It’s almost endearing how you still hold out hope for escaping.”

“It’s just a song.” You finally speak, deadpan.

“True.” Ian responds, his face perking up at your engagement. “You still do have a chance to be released, you know. Just gotta prove that you’ll be a valuable asset to us. Be a team player.”

“You mean consent to eating people.”

“We’re survivalists, princess. In this world, being picky is not a luxury.”

“I’d rather retain the little humanity I have left, thanks.” You retort before turning your head back to stare at the ceiling once more.

“Surviving and persevering is inherently human. We kill to survive. We take care of our own, by any means necessary.”

“So now what?” You ask. “You’re gonna chop me up into tiny pieces and serve me to your cult?”

“Hey, now. ‘Cult’ is a bit too strong of a word, muffin.” He says, defensively. “Like I said, we’re survivalists. But I’d rather not have to—how’d you say it? ‘Chop you up into tiny pieces’?”

You merely scoff in response.

“Please tell me your name.”

“No.”

“You know mine.”

“Indeed I do.”

“I’ve been quite honest with you. It’s just the polite thing to do, you know.”

“You know what’s polite?” You turn your head back towards him. “Not keeping someone in a fucking cage.”

“Just a precaution. Gotta figure out if you can be one of us.”

“In your motherfucking dreams, asshole.” You spit.

Ian sighs before standing up straight once more. He looks at you despondently.

“It’d be a shame to lose you, sweetheart. You have heart. You’re special. Having you for dinner would feel like such a waste of the little beauty left in this world.”

“I’m not your fucking sweetheart.” You seethe.

“That’s too bad.” Ian tsks. “Keep singing those songs for me, sweetheart. While you still can.”

He exits the room, and you hear the sound of multiple locks clicking as you had every time you were left alone once more.

A sinking feeling in your stomach tells you that you may not be trapped in this cage for much longer.

Ellie’s ocean-green eyes scan their surroundings, observing the guards that patrolled the edge of the village. There were at least a dozen of them and they appeared to be heavily armed as Lyn had promised. Some were keeping vigilant watch, but most were carelessly chatting with one another.

The whole party from Jackson remained perfectly concealed in the shadows of the forest right next to the village. They’d chosen to arrive at dusk at the exact time that the sun had just set, perfect to remain eclipsed in the shade but having enough light to navigate the unfamiliar town.

Joel lifts his head slightly from the bush he and Ellie were hidden behind, meeting the eyes of the others as he gave a signal. They all nodded in quiet response as they readied their weapons, some holding pistols equipped with makeshift silencers and Ellie with her faithful bow and arrow. One by one, they take out each of the guards. They fall quickly to the ground, none having enough time to react or sound any alarm of an attack. The second the last one collapses, Joel holds up a hand as he silently counts down before signalling the rest to quickly approach.

Ellie is the quickest to reach the border of the town, having set aside her bow and equipping her semi-auto pistol. Remembering information Lyn and Audrey had provided from their overheard conversation, she swiftly weaves through the village as her eyes scoured for a brick house with a metal entryway. Most of the buildings seemed to be partially constructed with a wooden exterior, but if their intel was correct, you were being kept in some kind of slaughterhouse.

As she’s made it halfway through the town, Ellie catches the eye of another companion who gestures to a brown cinder block building being guarded by two citizens holding hunting rifles. She scans the scene before aiming her gun towards them, her precise shots quieted by a silencer. Both guards topple over almost immediately, giving Ellie the opportunity to sprint towards the entrance. She’s joined by a boy named Levi to see the door to the slaughterhouse sealed off by a heavy padlock. She signals Levi to draw back before aiming her pistol and shattering the lock.

Ellie tears it off the handles before wrenching the doors open. She actively ignores the heavy machinery and smell of rotting meat and spots a door that appeared to lead down to a lower floor. That too was padlocked and she immediately attended to it the same way she’d done with the first. Levi remains behind to keep watch as Ellie quietly descends down the stairs to the basement.

She ignores all the doorways leading to other rooms when she spots a heavy-looking metal door with multiple locks. As she approaches it, she hears a muffled melody from behind it.

Is that…singing?

🎶 Now you say you’re lonely // You cry the whole night through

Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river // I cried a river over you 🎶

Ellie recognizes the same voice she had fallen in love with all those years ago as yours, her heart filling with affection and her spirits being lifted for the first time in days.

🎶 Now you say you’re sorry // For being so untrue

Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river // I cried a river over you 🎶

As she examines the steel entryway for an opening, she’s flooded with memories of secretly listening to your innocent singing when you had thought you were alone.

🎶 You drove me, nearly drove me out of my head // While you never shed a tear

Remember, I remember all that you said // Told me that love was too plebeian

Told me you were through with me 🎶

Ellie unbolts several latches and uses her pistol to shoot off yet another heavy-duty lock that separated her from you.

🎶 And now you say you love me // Well, just to prove you do

Come on and cry me a river, cry me a river // I cried a river over you 🎶

She violently wrenches the weighty door open, realizing now more than ever how much she needs you.

🎶 I cried a river over you

I cried a river over you

I cried a river over you 🎶

The song fades to an end as her eyes fall onto a figure trapped within silver fencing, laying flat on its back with its hands folded on its stomach.

“B-baby?” Ellie whispers, eyes filling with tears.

Your own eyes remain closed as you ignore the quiet voice you assumed was Ian, returning once more to torment you and perhaps even drag you to your death.

Ellie approaches your cage, her gaze falling on your frame for the first time in what felt like an eternity. She notices how much scraggier you appeared, clearly being fed very little during your confinement.

She clears her throat softly as she crouches down to your level, hand falling on the fencing that felt reminiscent of the prison she was once held in all those years ago.

“Baby.” She repeats once more, her voice clearer and fuller.

“Go to hell, Ian.” You finally vocalize, eyes still remaining closed and ignoring how the voice seemed different from that of Ian’s. You conclude that you’ve finally reached the point of delusion where any voice you hear mimics that of your ex-girlfriend.

“No, it’s-it’s me.” Ellie whispers.

You finally open your eyes and turn towards the source of introduction. Your eyebrows lift slightly as you take in the features of the girl you were still madly in love with, despite everything. You look her up and down for a few moments before returning to your original position.

“This is a rather cruel joke. I preferred it when my hallucinations left me alone, thank you.”

“This isn’t a hallucination,” Ellie utters as she feels her heart crack. “I’m here, baby. I’m here.”

You turn back towards her and finally sit up, further examining your new companion. You scrutinize her further, still fully of the belief that your delusion had finally taken hold of you. You approach the border of your cage slowly before speaking.

“Are you real?” You ask.

Finally within your reach, Ellie holds a hand out as far as she’s able to stroke your cheek.

“I’m real, pretty girl. I promise.”

The moment her skin touches yours, your body is filled with a sense of vigour and life that it hadn’t felt in weeks.

“E-Ellie?” You say meekly.

“I’m here,” She repeats. “I’m here. I’m getting you out right now.”

“No, you’re not. Hands up.”

Your body freezes at the sound of the voice you’d grown to be familiar with the past few days.

“Drop the gun. Now.”

Ellie immediately lets go of her pistol and rigidly straightens up from her crouched position. She turns slowly towards Ian who has a revolver pointed, not at her, but at you.

“So, my new pet has a little friend? Sweetheart, you never told me about her.”

“Don’t fucking call her that.” Ellie spits.

“I can call her whatever I want. I’m not the one with a gun to their head.”

Ellie eyes his revolver and slowly inches to shield you from his aim.

“Don’t you fucking move!” Ian hisses. “I can shoot you, then shoot her.”

“E-Ellie, please just,” You stutter. “Move out of the way.”

“No,” Ellie mutters through gritted teeth, standing her ground. “I’m not fucking moving.”

“You’ve got until the count of three.” He orders her.

You grip the back of Ellie’s shirt through the fence, silently urging her to move. She refuses to yield.

“One,” Ian begins. “Two—”

His countdown is interrupted by the butt of a gun colliding with the back of his head. Joel emerges from behind him holding up a hunting rifle.

You let out a choked-out sob, your grip on Ellie’s shirt loosening. Hot tears were falling down your cheeks that you didn’t notice until Ellie turned towards you to check on your state, wiping them away.

“Are you okay?” She asks fervently.

“I-I…” You stammer.

“We need to go now.” Joel interrupts. “We may have taken out a few guards, but we don’t know how many more they have stationed out there.”

Joel searches Ian’s unconscious body, finding a set of keys in his front pocket. After some trial and error, he and Ellie are able to find the key that unlocked your cage.

Ellie pulls you into a tight embrace, repeatedly whispering “thank god, thank god,” into your hair. You pull away, feeling slightly suffocated and having no desire to remain within this room that served as your prison for what felt like years.

Ellie picks up the pistol she had dropped before she begins to walk you towards the exit. But before you reach it, Ian begins to stir from beneath you. Both Joel and Ellie point their respective guns at him.

“Wait.” You say, holding a hand up.

“Baby, but—“ Ellie begins but stops when she sees you reaching towards the butcher’s knife that had been stabbed into the chopping table, the same one that had served as your only view during your confinement.

Ellie releases your waist just as you lift the cleaver above your head.

The moment you step out of the slaughterhouse, you nearly collapse. It was almost as if the air outside your prison was twice as thick than within, and your lungs were still incapable of not choking from it.

Ellie, sensing you about to drop, quickly wraps her arms around your waist as your legs crumple beneath you. She scoops you up from your knees and carries you down the road, Joel following quickly behind. As you spot the borders of the town where familiar faces from Jackson begin convening around you, you black out in a flash.

You wake up to the familiar scent of cedarwood and sage. Your body feels weighed down onto what felt like a bed, unable to move your limbs with ease. Every part of you still wished to remain asleep, but something else seemed to be pulling you out of your comatose state. Your eyes are the first to move, fluttering open slowly and agonizingly before they survey the position you’d been unconsciously placed in.

Light peeks through sheer blue curtains that decorated Ellie’s garage window to your right. You shift your head slightly to gaze through the panes, regarding how there was barely any snow on the ground. Your eyebrows knit in bewilderment, wondering how long you’d been out for that the snow had finally melted.

“It rained yesterday while you were sleeping.”

You slowly turn towards the sound of the gentle, calming voice and meet the ocean-green eyes that had been staring at you since the moment you’d woken.

“What?” You whisper, voice croaking from lack of use.

“That’s why there’s no snow anymore. Rain melted it away last night.”

Ellie was sitting at the foot of the bed, a graphic novel right next to her that now lay forgotten.

You stare at her in befuddlement, perplexed at how she’d read your mind so quickly and easily just from a look.

“Oh,” You say. “How long was I out for?”

“About a day or so.”

“Shit. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Ellie says, moving from her spot to settle next to you. She places a gentle hand on top of yours.

“I-I don’t know.” You reply, cringing instinctively at her touch.

She pulls away immediately.

“S-sorry…”

“It’s okay.” You utter, heart rising to your cheeks. “Is everyone alright?”

“Everyone’s fine, I promise. We were able to get in and out quick with no casualties on our side.”

“No one was hurt?”

“That kid Levi is probably a little traumatized after entering that slaughterhouse, but he’ll probably stop vomiting anytime soon.” Ellie attempts a joke, smiling slightly.

You don’t return her smile, looking down at your hands in guilt. The memories of being trapped in that isolated hell were still so raw and you were trying not to throw up from the thought of it yourself.

“I can’t believe I was so stupid to get caught like that. I put so many people in fucking danger just because I let my guard down. I fucking—”

“No, don’t do that.” Ellie interrupts. Her hand twitches, as if she wanted to touch you again but stopped herself. “That fucking coward Antoine should have never left you alone.”

“It’s not his fault… He was just scared. It’d have probably been worse if he got caught along with me.”

“If you just had a competent partner out there with you… It should have been me in the first place like it always was before.” Ellie curses.

“It’s fine…” You mutter.

“It’s not fucking fine!” Ellie exclaims, throwing her hands up and getting up in frustration. You watch as she paces by the bed. “I-I could have lost you, baby.”

“Why does that matter?” You whisper.

“B-because…” Ellie stutters, not making eye contact with you. “Because I love you.”

You stare at her vacantly. Those had been the words you’d been wanting to hear again from her for the past month. But you couldn’t bring yourself to believe her.

“You didn’t before.” You say blankly. “What you did, someone who loved me wouldn’t do that. You left me. You fucking left me.”

Ellie kneels next to you and dares put her hands on top of yours once more.

“I never stopped loving you, baby. The past few weeks… it was fucking hell on earth. It took fucking everything in me not to crawl back on my knees to you and beg for your forgiveness.”

“But you didn’t,” You argue. “You threw me out, Ellie. You told me to stop calling you ‘baby.’ The past month… it was slowly killing me, and you didn’t give a damn. You didn’t fucking care. You went about your life like you didn’t tear my heart out of my chest. I haven’t seen you once since that night, and suddenly you’re here telling me you still love me.”

“Cause it hurt me every time I saw you.” Ellie says, voice cracking and eyes watering. “Every time I saw you when I passed by the greenhouses or when I would see you walking home… it fucking hurt.”

“Didn’t fucking seem like it. ”

“I-I thought… I thought being apart was what was best for us. I loved you so much and I didn’t want my past to get in the way, I thought that maybe I could make you see that I’m faithful to you and only you. It was so fucking stupid, I was so fucking stupid.”

Tears were streaming down Ellie’s face nonstop now, staining the bedsheets.

“Everything that happened to you the past few days, it was my fault. You’d never have been there if I didn’t push you away. I can only imagine the kind of torture you went through, being in there. I was so fucking terrified, the most I’d ever been in my whole life. All because I was too fucking proud, too fucking blind.”

Your breath hitches, remembering the time Ellie’d confided in you one sleepless night about what happened to her a decade ago when she was kidnapped by a man named David.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” Ellie continues. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I don’t love anybody else. You don’t know how much I need you, how much I’ll always need you. I was so fucking stupid, I’m so sorry.”

You pull one of your hands away from hers to caress her face, the corners of your lips turning up slightly.

“Yeah. Yeah, you are kind of stupid.”

Ellie’s eyes widen in surprise and her face breaks out into a teary smile.

“It took me getting kidnapped and eaten by a group of cannibals for you to apologize?” You say, joking for the first time in a month. Ellie laughs awkwardly.

“I’ll never leave you again. I swear.”

“No, you don’t have to swear, Ellie. It’s—“

She shakes her head.

“I know I have to gain your trust back. I can’t imagine the hell you went through the past few days, and the most important thing for me right now is to make sure you’re okay. And to make sure you know that I’ll be here with you. Forever, until you don’t want me anymore.”

“I’ll always want you, Ellie.” You smile, your thumb wiping her tears away. She leans into your hand as she gazes lovingly back at you.

“C-can I kiss you?” She asks softly. You freeze for a moment.

“I-I’m still… I mean, the past few days are still—” You begin to stutter.

“It’s okay, baby.” She whispers. “Please don’t rush yourself, take your time.”

She settles for taking your hand on her face between both of hers and giving it the lightest of kisses. You smile before she speaks again.

“I’ll wait forever.”

author’s notes:

absolutely insane how long this one-shot turned out to be. it was supposed to be much, much shorter but oops. thank you for being patient with me.

reader’s moon pin is in third quarter (or just a half moon) because third quarter moon is supposed to represent forgiveness and revisiting past actions and etc. thought it was fitting :)

the part where reader wakes up in the cage is supposed to mirror when ellie was captured by david in the first game, so if it sounds familiar, that's why

the cult leader's name is ian simply because i have an ex-boyfriend whose name is ian and i hate his guts, it was fun to name a bad guy after him

love you all, promise i’ll work on ncty soon. just dealing with a lot of shit in my personal life rn (yes a lot of it is shit with my ex shut up), so just keep being patient with me if y’all can ♡︎

taglist: @spaceshipellie, @ximtiredx, @jajsnjz, @sawaagyapong, @beforeimdeceased, @carmellie, @thatgiraffefromtlou, @elliesplaylist, @p1llowthoughtss, @lonelyfooryouonly, @machetegirl109, @herdelreydear, @elliesnumber1gf, @ellies-tatoo, @eleactric

[thewertsearch]

@manorinthewoods submitted: ~LOSS (8/11/23) So, long scenario inbound. What if you tossed all the Sburb players we've seen so far (with their powers, but somehow reworked to fit with the Locked Tomb's necromancy stuff) into Canaan House? (My pairings for this would be, in the form of necromancer"mage"/cavalier, Aradia and Sollux, Karkat and Terezi, Rose and Kanaya, John and Dave, Vriska and Tavros, Feferi and Eridan, Equius and Nepeta, and by elimination Jade and Gamzee. Make your own if you want, or throw out the whole system.) What would happen? Who would die? Would anybody achieve Lyctordom?

Oh, I like this one.

[Locked Tomb spoilers abound below. You have been warned.]

I’m mostly keeping your pairings, because I like them. A lot of Homestuck’s powers would break the setting of The Locked Tomb, so let’s just assume the necromancers have the typical abilities of their House, and that the cavaliers don’t have powers. Let’s also assume that the Seventh House is still being impersonated by a Lyctor.

Second House: Captain Karkat Vantas & Lieutenant Terezi Pyrope

A very well-balanced duo. I suspect Karkat would be a half-decent necromancer if if wasn’t for his self-doubt, and Cohort training would replace doubt with cold duty. His magic is particularly destructive, and causes enormous collateral. Bucking tradition, his cav is effectively the leader, as she’s the superior strategist by far.

Endgame: They get pretty far – but when push comes to shove, Karkat would rather die than kill his closest friend, even though she thinks it would be funny. They refuse Lyctorhood, and are murdered by the Seventh.

Third House: Crown Princess Vriska Serket & Prince Tavros Nitram

Vriska embodies the best and worst of both Tridentarii. She’s ruthless, she’s quick-witted, she demands your attention, and she’s not above taking shortcuts. Her cavalier is a lot nicer than the canon one, but just as unlucky.

Endgame: You already know Tavros is ending this story the same way Naberius did. Full Lyctorhood, and the birth of the most dangerous necrosaint the Houses have ever seen.

Fourth House: Baron John Egbert & Sir Dave Strider

These goobers are too nice for the story they’re in. John is enthusiastic, and Dave is dutiful, but they lack the aptitudes required to obtain any keys. If it came to it, Dave is probably the most likely cavalier to pull a Gideon, especially given the Fourth’s tradition of self-sacrifice. John doesn’t have Harrow’s resourcefulness, though, and wouldn’t be able to preserve Dave’s soul.

Endgame: Murdered by the Seventh.

Fifth House: Lady Aradia Megido & Sir Sollux Captor

They’d honestly crush it. Aradia is a born Fifth House spirit talker, and the only Homestuck character to actually be a necromancer. Sollux isn’t a physical fighter, but he declares a laser pistol as his offhand, and no one wants to argue with the creepy scion of the Fifth, so a laser pistol it stays. Since Aradia isn’t a historian, they’re not targeted by the Seventh House Lyctor, and manage to complete most of the theorem rooms before shit hits the fan.

Endgame: Partial Lyctorhood. Aradia eats half of Sollux’s soul, he keeps the other half.

Sixth House: Master Warden Rose Lalonde & Kanaya Maryam

Now we’re talking! A Rose trained on the Sixth would give Palamedes a run for his money, and her partnership with Kanaya would be second to none. Let’s say she still has a romantic history with the Seventh House scion (Feferi, in this case) but is no longer in love with her, having got over her when she and Kanaya became a couple. Palamedes delayed his confrontation with ‘Dulcinea’ due to his feelings, and Rose would confront Feferi much earlier.

Endgame: Can a learned witch of the Sixth defeat an ancient saint of the Seventh? Maybe, if she plays it smart, and makes the right alliances. Write it yourself – I’ve got a liveblog to finish!

Seventh House: Duchess Feferi Pexies & Eridan Ampora

D------EAD before the trials began, Feferi is being impersonated by a sea-dweller Lyctor whose motivations I can’t dig into too much, or I’ll actually start to write this fanfic. Let’s just say she has similar goals to Cytherea, and leave it at that.

Eighth House: Master Templar Equius Zahhak and Nepeta Lejion

Come on, Equius, Your god commands you. Commit the cardinal sin. Become a saint. You’re not going to disobey the emperor, are you?

Endgame: I have just enough respect for Equius that I don’t think he’d kill Nepeta, even if ordered to. They probably go out fighting, before the final confrontation.

Ninth House: Reverend Daughter Jade Harley & Gamzee Makara

Gamzee’s useless, but at least he pulls off the facepaint. Jade’s not going to get much use out of him, unless she’s willing to siphon – as a highblood, he’s probably got a pretty strong constitution. Anyway, Jade’s wolf skeleton constructs are impressive, but she’ll be more or less attempting the trials alone, and that’s a tall order.

Endgame: Not nearly as important as in canon, the Ninth House might survive for a while by not really being a threat to anyone. Jade’s likely to befriend the Second and the Fourth, and go out in a blaze of glory avenging their deaths.

[lemon-natalia]

Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 14

ok list of more foods in this world i don’t want to eat: weird tasting NecromancyFrozen™ food

given they’ve been around and cooking for themselves for about ten thousand years, do you think the Emperor & the Lyctors ever had at least one Masterchef night?

if the Emperor doesn’t drink his coffee out of one of a cheap novelty mug that says something like ‘World’s Best Emperor’ i will be sorely disappointed (should i be calling him John now? it feels weird to call him John. i’m not gonna call him John)

ohh there’s for sure something creepy and or mysterious in this guys private rooms. or maybe he just likes his privacy, who am i to judge

the cult of BOE, currently led by resident face of Boe, Captain Jack Harkness

also thats a cult thats been around an awful long time, wow. i … don’t know about the idea of Cytherea working for them, i feel like an insurgent group would want to come up with a slightly more surefire plan than ‘very slowly kill off everybody one by one’?

and how does he know that Harrow’s parents are dead? its possible as a very powerful necromancer, maybe he can just sense these things, but if someone has been through Harrow’s memories and altered them …

and Harrow just tells him, the secret that she kept for so many years, essentially no questions asked. i really can’t tell if this is because its someone she considers her god to be asking, or if there’s something more sinister

dude, you could at least pretend to be disturbed that making such a powerful necromancer needed the mass death of children. also i am very worried about whats going to happen to Harrow, or what he’ll do more generally, now he knows about this possibility

great, the Emperor is giving Harrow weird parent trauma 2.0, exactly what she needs right now i’m sure

BOE stands for the Blood of Eden … okay, interesting. and then he quotes King Lear immediately afterwards, i think my theory about this being the future is back in business baby

[physalian]

On self-publishing, and why I did it

Based on the research that I have done, following other indie authors across multiple platforms, I think I've made an approach to this that is a lot less... shall we say, *intense* than people make it out to be? I've seen some YouTube videos acting like picking one route or the other might be the worst mistake of your author career.

I mean, I guess?

Back a few years ago I had a manuscript I was querying around and couldn't find any takers. Couldn't find any publishing houses that were accepting open submissions to pick up my manuscript either. So many of them had clauses in the application verifying that you were submitting to them and only to them and to expect a reply within 8-10 months. Coooool.

I did not have time for that.

—

The manuscript I had was 120k words. Baby’s first novel sitting at 120k words is not attractive to publishing houses. It’s a risk. I was younger and didn’t know much about finding an agent and all that jazz, so I had looked into self-publishing and was staring down an editor bill of about $3k minimum because of my word count. I did not have the money for that.

So that manuscript got shelved, meanwhile I wrote the sequel and got halfway through book 3 before writer’s block took hold.

Enter February 2024. I have an idea for a new book. 31 days later, I have that book’s first draft done—Eternal Night of the Northern Sky, on sale from draft to publication in seven months.

This time, I didn’t consider for one second trying the traditionally published route. ENNS is 111k words, it’s a doorstopper of a book, but the bulk wasn’t the only reason I decided to bootstrap myself to the finish line.

I wanted complete, absolute creative control every step of the way

If I have to market myself anyway, why am I splitting profit with a publishing house?

I *really* don’t have time to wait around hoping the right person sees my manuscript. I have a new job coming that’s going to eat up all my free time and could either delay ENNS a year or more, or get it out while I still had time to do so

I didn’t do this for money

I think that’s what makes so many of those rather intense arguments for one or the other so harrowing—the pressure is a lot higher if you invested all this time, money, and effort expecting returns to break even, if not actually turn a profit. Publishing with a publisher doesn’t guarantee people will buy your book, mind you, but it’s a helping hand nonetheless. If I even want to break even, let's say just on royalties from the ebook, I'd have to sell over a thousand copies.

Breaking down my above points:

I’m a firm believer in “if you want something done right, you do it yourself,” which does bite me in the ass from time to time, this I know. I didn’t want to get caught up in contracts or editors telling me what I could and couldn’t do or what I had to change. If ENNS fails, I will have no one to blame but myself, and I am at peace with this. If ENNS fails, and I’d gone through the trouble of signing my book’s soul away to a publisher, then I’d probably be a little resentful. 100% of ENNS is mine, even the cover. I had an image in my head of what I wanted the cover to look like, and I sat down and I drew it and it matches perfectly. Aside from the feedback implemented from betas and editors, my story is told the way I wanted to tell it. If it fails, I am at peace with this.

On marketing, I am not a person who does well with social media. Maybe it’s autism, idk, but trying to keep up with an Instagram is exhausting. I just don’t get anything from tiny text posts and blurbs and doomscrolling through influencers and advertisements. Social Media is, for me, exhausting. Tumblr is different, because writing is my strong point and this blog exists to share and curate something useful. But either way, I’d have to market this book alone, so why not do so with full creative control? If it fails, I am at peace with this.

I have a new job coming very quickly. My current job allows me about 5 hours of free time during my 8 hour shift on a good day not including the time outside work, and I work from home. ENNS was written in 31 days thanks to this job. The new one? Not so much. Seeing “please allow 8-10 months” and “please ensure this is an exclusive submission” on so many little publishing houses, and I did search far and wide, was incredibly disheartening. For me, personally, it wasn’t worth the gamble of waiting all that time, following the rules, and being told no or just being flat-out ghosted. Nor did I want to sit around querying agents into the void. This time, I didn’t have time to sift through agents. ENNS had to get out on the shelves as quickly as I could get it, and all that time (five goddamn months of editing, 500% of the time it took to write it) was spent perfecting the manuscript that it is, *not* waiting around trying to find an agent. If it fails, I am at peace with this.

And lastly, I don’t care if I make absolutely nothing from this book. I didn’t do it for the money, I did it to say I could. I have a day job, and I’m about to have a much higher paying day job. Maybe I’m lucky enough to have that, but I am under no illusions that putting in the hard work guarantees success. Success as an author is a crapshoot and being an amazing book is not the metric sales are measured in, if no one wants to read it. I’d like to make money, I didn’t do it for charity. It’s going to be priced exactly the same as another fantasy book of its caliber. But if only one person buys it, and finds something good from it, something in it that changes their life, then I will have succeeded, profit be damned. If all else fails, I am at peace with this.

—

This is not a post meant to sway people one way or the other. I know I didn’t do enough research or scour the internet hard enough to find a good agent. All of this is irrelevant when time was the most important factor in my debut novel. I was in a position where I could drop that $3k on an editor, so I did. I’m a capable enough artist to draw my own cover, so I did. I might be abysmal at managing social accounts, but less than a year ago this blog didn’t exist and it has over 5k reblogs and 950 followers and I think that’s pretty swell.

I’m 25 years old. I was not about to let it keep sitting around waiting for the golden opportunity with the perfect publishing house that might not have been coming. I had the means and motive to get it done, and by god, I did it.

If it fails, at least I can say that I failed trying. I am at peace with this.

—

Eternal Night of the Northern Sky is available now on Amazon in ebook and paperback! It is also available through your local bookstore.

Check it out on Goodreads!

[babydin]

Her

Joel remembers when he was the guy who shot and missed. - Joel Miller x f!reader - 18+, minors DNI! - Grief, depression, death, child loss, trauma, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt - 1242 words - Comments/likes appreciated. Requests are open! - A/N: A recounting of the events after Sarah's death and Joel's suicide attempt from Joel's POV. Written in first person. You are 'her'.

 People act like they know what you’re going through, they think they know how it feels because they have known grief, but the difference in losing your grandma and losing your child is mighty. To be a parent without a child is fucking harrowing. 

They think I don’t hear them.   The ‘what’s his problem?’ followed by the ‘he just lost his daughter’ and the sorrowful grumbles that follow. I don’t want pity, I want Sarah. I want to close my eyes at night and not be reminded of the pain in her eyes as she looked up at me so desperately, begging me to do something and I did nothing. I did nothing. Tommy told me she was gone and I wailed and screamed so fucking loud that I hoped she’d hear me on her way to heaven and turn around and come back to me. People ask me how I’m doing with so much fucking pity it makes me sick, and I lie through my teeth and tell them I’m fine because I don’t have the energy to tell some motherfucker I barely know ‘I set a place for her at the table yesterday and when I realized she ain’t sittin’ at it I wanted to put my head in the oven’, ‘I haven’t been doing so well’, ‘My babygirl died in my arms how do you think I’m fucking doing?’ People act like they know what you’re going through, they think they know how it feels because they have known grief, but the difference in losing your grandma and losing your child is mighty. To be a parent without a child is fucking harrowing.  And there is nothing more kick-you-in-the-nuts offensive than thinkin’ you know what’s best for someone. I wish I could say some days are better than others but they’re all bad days. I didn’t mean to snap at her, but she sure as shit means to snap back when she says “I lost her too, Joel”.  I wake up every morning and the weight of another day is heavy on my chest and I ask whatever powers keep this rock spinning, why it was Sarah’s time and not mine, whatever situation we’re in these days seems to be getting worse and I wonder why I’m even fighting.  What exactly is it that’s keeping me alive? She tries her best with me, I know she does and I can see how much I hurt her. I try and be tough but some days it’s too fucking much. She finds me sitting in bathtubs of water that I allowed to go cold because I cried out all my energy and can’t pull myself out of it, she holds me through my bad dreams, she makes up bullshit about how Sarah will always be with me, or she’s got her Mama takin’ care of her now. 

    I listen, and nod, and try and force a smile like what she’s saying is balm but every breath I take burns in my lungs because my heart is fucking shattered. One day I wake up and the pain cuts through me like a knife. I’m aware of every single bone, and every single muscle in my body because there is an enormous weight crushing every inch of me. I eat breakfast and I consider putting rocks in my pockets and walking out into the ocean, but I don’t want to suffer. I’ve suffered enough, my pain has gone on long enough,  if I’m going to die I want it to be quick. I don’t remember if I woke up with a specific goal of ending my life but by 11am I had no intention of living until dinner.   I decided I was going to do it in the bathtub; thinking about the clean up maybe? Blood, I’d learned, was a fucking persistent stain. Suddenly the pain went away and I loaded a single bullet into my pistol and I didn’t feel a drop of fear. I was ready. A comforting hug, a hot coffee on a cold day, a cold tea on a hot day; Lady Death would’ve been very much welcomed. I thought about her bullshit, her bullshit about Sarah being with her Mama now and wondered if I was on my way to them too. My heart was poundin’ as I put that barrel to my temple but I wasn’t scared, I was so ready. I cocked it and took my last breath and I don’t know why. Then came her voice as I squeezed the trigger,   “JOEL!” They say right before you die your life flashes before your eyes. And I always thought it was a fucking cliche but hearing that shrill, squawk of my name, it really did. I remember the day I got married, I remember the day Sarah was born, when she took her first steps, the first time she spit up in my mouth, I remember the day I had to tell her that her mother died and how it was just us for so long. Then I remember her, and how she had only wanted Sarah to like her, how she had loved her like she was her own but never wanted to erase her mother’s memory, how she had cried with me when I had to tell her what happened to her, how she finished her eulogy because I couldn’t, all those nights she’d cried with me, been there for me, force fed me, made me drink water instead of booze. It was her. She was the thing keeping me alive, against my will it felt like sometimes, but she needed me just as much as I needed her.  The realization makes me flinch, she screams and pain still sears through my head and I can’t help but wonder if I’ve done it. She races to my side and climbs into the empty tub with me, there’s a pain and a fear in her eye that forces an apology out of me almost instantly as she pulls my head off the tiled wall and applies pressure to the part of my head that hurts the most. I can see her lips moving but I don’t hear a thing she’s saying because there’s a ringing in my ears so loud. It takes her pushing me into her chest to realize there’s blood dripping down the side of my face and the ringing subsides just enough for me to hear her beg me not to leave her. All I can do is whisper apologies, the pain has subsided and I don’t feel a thing, my fingers cling to her; I silently beg for her help, I hope that somewhere through her wailing she can hear my heart beating like a frightened steer, she pleads with me again not to go anywhere and I can’t find the words to ask her the same but I hope she hears it somehow.

  I must’ve blacked out for a hot minute because I opened my eyes and she’s putting bactine on my head. The feeling comes back. Whoever invented bactine can go all the way to hell. I apologize again and she tells me it’s okay but in such a way that I know it’s not okay at all but she puts steri-strips on the gash in my head and for a second I might actually believe that eventually it will be because this is where she’s always been. Holding me through my nightmares and being my guiding light on the other side. My reason for waking up in the morning, for fighting, for living to see the other side of whatever shit show is going on with the world right now. It’s her.

[randombookposts]

Canaan University Au

Ok I thought of a college au for the locked tomb a awhile ago but I never bothered to write it down until now. Anyways I think they would all go to this imaginary university in New Zealand and it’s like the first book but with a lot less murder. Here’s what I think each house would study

Judith- Criminal justice major. Huge stickler for rules and doing homework. If she’s not in the gym reading a textbook while doing push-ups, she’s in the library getting into a heated debate with a Corona. Had a huge crush on Marta and went to the same college as her to hangout, just getting over it, may or may not have feelings for Corona, maybe.

Marta- In law school, was a mentor to Judith when she was in high school and that’s how they know each other. Gently turned Judith down but they’re still friends and study together sometime. Is the DD at every party.

Corona: Majoring in marketing with a minor in fashion merchandising. Doesn’t do great on tests but aces every presentation. President of her sorority. Can and will gaslight frat boys. Everyone wants her but she only has eyes for the stuck up criminal justice major.

Ianthe- Management major with a minor in maybe finance. Commits tax fraud and gets away with it. Sometimes does Corona’s homework for her. Doxxes people online (mostly Babs), smokes in the dorm hallways. Flirts with Harrow during their study sessions, which Harrow ignores.

Naberius- Economics major, and major fuck boy. Makes thirst traps and is doxxed. Hangs out with the twins even though they bully him. Doesn’t do shit during group projects. Will get a job at his dads company post graduation.

Jeannemary and Isaac don’t go to college but are tutored by Abigail at her house. They just silly teens who experiment with makeup and clothes to find their look. Talk loudly about anime in the school hallways. A little cringe but they’re doing their best.

Abigail- Anthropology professor and is really cool. Tough grader but genuinely loves her students and shares trivia with them. Brings donuts to test days. Will accidentally derail class to talk about books or her husband. If one of her students brings up one of the incredibly niche topics she likes, she will talk about it for hours.

Magnus- Not a teacher but visits Abigail's classes often. Nice guy, helps look after Jeannemary and Isaac. I'm not sure what he would do as a job, maybe chef or stay at home husband lol. Regardless, he's the one making all the meals.

Palamedes- Pre-med, wants to become a doctor so he can save Dulcinea save people. Smartest guy in the room always, a go to for anyone struggling with their biology homework. Has a friendly rivalry with Harrow (it's more rivalry than friendly for Harrow but she grows fond of him over time). Is the one derailing class with philosophical debates.

Camilla- Physics major, too cool for you. Really into sports, just not sure which, like gymnastics or soccer or rugby or fencing. Works hard but actually remembers to eat and sleep too. Probably in student government as well. Her and Palamedes are attached at the hip, they later get an apartment together and that's where all the main hangouts with the other characters happen.

Dulcinea- Suffers from chronic illness and focuses her life on learning and traveling rather than getting a traditional job. She's got multiple degrees in stuff like literature, philosophy, and art history. She is active on social media and has a blog, and sells crocheted animals on Etsy. Became mutuals with Pal and Camilla on social media and they met up later when they went off to college.

Protesilaus- Dulcie's caretaker, helps her with her medical stuff. Becomes like a cool uncle figure to her and her friends. Hangs out a lot with Ortus and they share poetry.

Silas- Double major in theology and philosophy. Freaky teen prodigy who graduated high school early and attends university. Little shit who people are either freaked out by or straight up just don't like him. Will snitch on anyone for anything he doesn't like. Really only friends with Colum.

Colum- Silas' nephew, but way older than him, weird dynamic. Not in school but drives Silas to his classes and Silas lives with him during the school year instead of in the dorms. Nice guy, looks out for Silas' well being the best he can but tries to keep him from being too nasty to others.

Harrow- Double major in theology and archeology. Studies at all hours and forgets to eat and sleep. Local cryptid. Autistic with special interests in religion and burial rituals. Went to Catholic school and had a suffocating home life. Trying to grapple with that as she starts to navigate adult life. Also trying to mend her relationship with Gideon after being so harsh in her younger years.

Gideon- Kinesiology major, butch vibes to the max. Does swordfighting and weight training in her down time. Has kissed both Ianthe and Corona at some point, though it never went anywhere after that. Wears her sunglasses at all times even in class. Finds the worst fashions from thrift stores and wears them to piss Harrow off. Grew up with Harrow in a foster home Harrow's parents ran and also attended Catholic school with her but they rarely interacted beyond antagonizing each other. Reconnected after being randomly assigned roommates. Now they're buddies and hang out alongside the 3rd and 6th, (also the 2nd and Dulcie sometimes too). They all do stupid shit together like sing karoke off key and hit up Taco Bell at 2am after binge watching movies.

[aetherdoesthings]

HANAHAKI!READER X ROBIN PART TWO

forethoughts: i think i'm getting better!!! that's a lie i've been coughing all afternoon. oh welp. also lowkey i feel like i'm kinda been teaching y'all about absolutism in some sense through the fic. idk.

notes: fem!reader, hanahaki au (it's in the title), modern au, high school, swearing?

The next day at school, you avoided Robin like the plague. You wore a mask, making people think you were just sick, not batshit crazy for coughing up flower petals. During lunch, you hid in the library, a place you rarely saw Robin in since she was always on the podium eating lunch with other juniors. You were fine throughout the entire day; you didn’t see Robin, you didn’t hear Robin, or ever mention Robin once. 

You had decided to keep a small journal with you ever since you had ‘fallen in love’ with Nico Robin, the goddess herself. You wrote down every moment you coughed, keeping track if your symptoms were getting worse or not. You kept the notebook to yourself, keeping it in your bag. It was also one of those notebooks with those stupid padlocks they sold to kids when you were younger, just so that your secret was well hidden.

Robin had started talking to you on Instagram. Whenever your phone suddenly turned bright, you held your breath, checking the notifications to see if it was Robin. When it was, you’d be happy and jump up and down for a solid minute before finally responding. Your god awful disease seemed to go away whenever you talked to Robin via text too; maybe there was a way to keep your disease under wraps after all.

But there was one key thing that foiled your plan to stay immune to Robin forever. The attendance sheet. You can’t just skip History, the only class you had with Robin and had a goddamn group project with. So you walked into the classroom, taking your seat next to God herself, who was busy talking to her other comrades. You tried not to look at her, staring at the clock, the floor, that mold on the wall that seemed to keep growing. There was 60 minutes to this class. 60 minutes of purgatory. Your heart thudded, trying to leap out of your chest and look at Robin, wanting to express your love to her in the cheesiest way. Your mind rebelled, battling all the thoughts about the Goddess away. No. You had spent the entire day trying to figure out what triggered your coughing and made your throat want to kill itself. Right now, you were sitting next to Robin, and your heart was trying to think of her and daydream about you and Robin making out and having--

“Oh! Y/N! I didn’t see you there.” You nearly jumped out of your seat at her voice, as you whipped your head towards her, that sensation in your stomach burning out. Holy shit her smile was so much more beautiful than you had imagined. The corners of Robin’s lips curled upwards, forming a gentle arc. It was warm and inviting, like a blade of light in the darkness dungeons. Her face seemed to have lit up the moment she saw you, as her cheeks flushed pink, but so faint you needed the sun to see it clearly. You wanted to bask in the radiance that shone from her smile, wanting to feel it and experience it in its entirety.

That’s why you let out a harrowing cough, ducking your head and moving away from Robin. The petal moved up your esophagus, landing in your mask. You left the petal there, as you turned your head towards Robin again. Your stomach dropped when you realized her smile had disappeared. A frown replaced the smile, her eyebrows were furrowed and disappointment in her eyes.

“Oh. You’re still sick.” Robin sighed, a small smile on her face. “Well, I do hope you get better before our presentation. Is it a cold?”

“Y-Yeah, cold.” You nodded your head.

“I see. Do feel better soon, I don’t want our grade to plummet if you can’t present well.”

That sentence drove a knife into your heart, as you looked at your desk. “I hope I do too.”

While Robin wasn’t looking, you reached your hand into your mask, grabbing the petal and shoving it into your pocket. You drummed your feet against the ground, waiting for the lesson to start.

45 more minutes. The teacher had just given instructions on what to do and announcements. Everyone started to pull out their laptops the moment the teacher stopped talking, including Robin. You placed your laptop on the table, opening it and signing in, opening the document you and Robin were working on, as well as the slides.

“Okay, progress seems good. We have three more days until the presentation and we’re already halfway done. We just have to find a modern day example for Elizabeth I for extra credit, and we’re good.” Robin said.

“Yep.” You replied, wanting to limit your speech as much as possible. You had a bunch of tabs opened from last night, but your lovesick mind was too busy drooling over Robin to try and close some of them.

“Do you have any ideas about what modern day example we should do?” Robin asked, looking over at your screen.

“Um, the obvious answer would be Elizabeth II, but she was more of a constitutional monarch than absolute, so maybe we can do Elizabeth II, and just compare personalities and accomplishments.” You responded absentmindedly. When Robin didn’t respond, you looked up from your screen, looking at Robin. Your heart immediately dropped, as your finger scrambled on the trackpad, closing all your tabs you had open since last night.

“You saw nothing.” You simply said after a cloud of silence fell upon the two of you.

“Definitely. Let’s get back to work.” Robin replied, looking back at her screen.

Your cheeks were red, your fingers shaking as you tried to type one word on the slides. If the whole room was absolutely silent, everyone would’ve heard your heart thumping, roaring loudly. You spent your night trying to find out how to cure your hanahaki disease, or at least not trigger your symptoms. Tired and absolutely drained, you closed your computer and just went to sleep, not closing your tabs at all.

Does Robin know I have that stupid love disease? Does Robin know I have a massive crush on her? Does Robin think I’m weird? Does Robin know? Shit. Shit. Fuck. I think she knows. Oh fuck, I’m fucked. Robin knows. She knows I have that stupid love disease. Your mind raced with thoughts, all negative and solidifying your doom. Robin definitely saw the tabs of you researching hanahaki, and now she knew you were in love with someone to the point you coughed up flower petals because of a person.

She doesn’t know it’s her. She doesn’t know I like her. She doesn’t know I love her. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I’m not going to die if she knows I have a massive crush on her. You took a deep breath, holding onto those words like it was your life line. Robin didn’t know it was you, she just knew you were in love with someone.

But she’s smart. She’s going to know. 

No she’s not.

Yes she is.

The two voices wrestled in your head, growing louder and louder, shutting down all your other actions. You were certain Robin was talking, maybe to you or to someone else. Your fingers stayed put on the keys, not a single letter being typed out. All you could focus on was the voices arguing about your fate. It felt like drills digging into your skull, piercing through the bone and turning your brain into mush.

You abruptly stood up from your seat, closing the lid as you walked up to the teacher, telling him you needed to use the bathroom. You stormed out of the classroom, making a beeline to the stalls. You chose the farthest one from the door, turning the lock so fast it should’ve flown off. With your back against the wall, you sunk down to the ground, bringing your knees to your chest as you dropped your head, letting your forehead rest on your knees. 

You hated this feeling. You hated feeling helpless and hated having your well being dependent on a person.

You never wanted to fall in love with Nico Robin. You never wanted to have this feeling in your heart, this constant need to see her and hear her voice.

Now this? 

Why did you have to fall in love with Nico Robin? 

There were two ways to get rid of the stupid love disease. You had to tell Robin you loved her, and if she loves you back, you’d stop coughing up flowers. If she rejects you, you’re done for. 

You let out a sniffle, knowing which option would become reality. 

Nico Robin was going to kill you, whether you told her or not. She would’ve never liked you back, not in a million years.

Your fate was sealed the minute you saw her on your first day of junior year.

You were going to-

“Y/N? Are you in there?” You lifted your head so abruptly, the back of your head hit the concrete wall, causing you to wince. Robin? From the gaps on the bottom, you could see Robin’s shoe slowly approach your stall, the tip of her shoes pointed towards you.

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 3 replay, part four of Leviathan:

Dr. Bryson’s Lab

-Why is Ann permitted to be on her own when they know she’s indoctrinated?

Leviathan could take control of her and force her to destroy the entire lab! Or herself!

Yes, so far it’s only occurred when an artifact is present, but they don’t know an artifact's required. It may just take more effort without one.

-Ann is yet another character with daddy issues. Does anyone in this series have a good relationship with their father?

-How did the Reapers validate years of Dr. Bryson’s work? Did he have a reason to suspect they existed?

-I still think having a piece of a Reaper in the middle of the Citadel is a very bad idea. It’s too dangerous for such a public location.

And I still want to know how they know the shielding works.

Saren had an entire lab devoted to studying indoctrination in an attempt to protect himself, but Dr. Bryson found a method in just a few years?

And if it works for the piece of the Reaper, why can’t it be expanded to protect organics? Why can’t it be used to safely research the destroyed Reapers on Tuchanka and Rannoch?

-Hmm. I suppose if Garneau knew how the shielding around the piece of the Reaper worked he could have developed something similar for the artifact. That justifies why he could develop shielding for it so quickly.

It also explains why Ann was so confident that the artifacts could be shielded.

-On a similar note, why is the husk head out in the open? And why isn’t it shielded?

The base game emphasizes that any contact with Reapers results in indoctrination. Alive, dead, their technology…

Leviathan is far more casual about it.

-Why are Shepard and James near the artifact when the shield is dropped?

It risks them becoming indoctrinated.

It’d be far safer to have Edi turn the shield on/off.

-The subtitles switch to Leviathan again when they speak through Ann.

-James can be ruthless when necessary, but he’s more paragon aligned. He’s pretty angry at Shepard for the danger they put Ann in if they go renegade.

-If you go paragon, Shepard and Ann both refer to Leviathan as “it”.

I think that time Shepard used “he” must have been an exception.

Despoina

-I suppose we can assume the crashed ships are recentish, since the M-55 Argus 1 you can find on the ship is a current weapon.

At least that explains why Shepard can read the datapads.

-The datapads tell a rather harrowing story.

Notably, the skeletons are in the various tents.

The Leviathans caused them to just lie down and wait for death… Terrifying.

At least the Leviathans made them not feel hungry.

-According to the datapads, there aren’t any fish.

So what are the Leviathans eating?

-Why does a deep diving mech have the same weapons capabilities as as a Cerberus Atlas?

I think this is gameplay convenience. In game, it probably has tools that can be used as weapons if needed.

-Well, Shepard’s undeniably indoctrinated in the Leviathan DLC. By the Leviathan, but still indoctrinated.

Maybe that prevents or Reaper indoctrination?

-Why is it still treated as a given that the Leviathans are the ones that killed the Leviathan of Dis?

When was this proven?

I suppose we’re supposed to assume Dr. Bryson proved it offscreen and that’s what led him to the artifacts.

I had assumed he stumbled over the artifacts in his search, but that the two were not directly related. Or that researchers indoctrinated by the Leviathans created the weapon that took the Reaper out.

I still feel Shepard is making a leap here.

-Do the Leviathans remind anyone else of the turians?

“Lesser races”, thrall races = client species, the lesser races are cared for…

-Leviathan: “Tribute does not flow from a dead race.”

I think we all know the Leviathans real concern with the “lesser species” being exterminated by their machines.

-How did the star child destroy the Leviathans, anyway?

The first Reaper was created from the Leviathans, so it’s not like it was superior firepower and more advanced technology like it would in future cycles.

Yes, it built pawns to perform the research it needed to perform the task the Leviathans gave it. But how did these pawns have enough strength to take out the Leviathans?

I will assume the star-child somehow also seized control of the Leviathan’s existing infrastructure and turned it against them.

-Even billions of years later, the Leviathans can’t own that they fucked up.

The star-child wasn’t a mistake. It’s still serving its purpose!

So the part where it turned against the Leviathans and destroyed them is what, a minor flaw?

-If I understand correctly, in the early cycles the Leviathans took thralls. When the Reapers came they used the thralls to destroy any evidence the Leviathans existed.

So the paintings may come from that period.

Later they switched to using the artifacts to observe and direct without leaving their safe places.

-They refer to the artifacts as fragments.

Fragments of what?

-We all agree that the Leviathans exist on other worlds, right?

They’re just not telling Shepard that for security.

-Shepard should have the bends from returning to the surface so fast.

Let’s attribute their lack the Leviathans.

-Leviathan: “Today, they pay their tribute in blood”.

A very badass line.

-The Leviathans can override Reaper indoctrination. Still no evidence if the vice versa is true or not.

-Ironically, the star-child turning organics into Reapers might have helped lead to their downfall.

The Leviathans presumably could not take control of whatever machines the star-child used to wipe them out.

They can take control of Reapers.

-After meeting Leviathan, Shepard still refers to Leviathan as “it”.

-Ann’s indoctrinated. Isn’t having her work on the Crucible risky? It gives the Leviathan a direct line to it.

-The Reapers know the Leviathans are on Despoina. Why don’t they just chuck an asteroid at it to eliminate them? They could do that without getting into indoctrination range.

The Leviathans would not be able to indoctrinate a chunk of rock. Even if they have defense systems in place, if the Reapers threw enough asteroids at once I doubt the Leviathans could stop them all.

[firstkanaphans]

(counting the seconds anon here) If I didn't share an apartment with other people and I wasn't back to my status as a student, I would LITERALLY have already gone to a shelter to adopt a black cat and name it Cosmo!!!!! I'll keep it as a suggestion for when I finally am able to do it (once I go back to work), but the pain is REAL!

Aye taking on the dad role so effortlessly while Akk keeps freaking the hell out but also falling even deeper in love is too much for my poor heart 🥺😭💕

(I also just saw the other anon 👀) Kan as a matchmaker?? Ohhhhhhhhh this will be amazing. Both he and Thua assisting AkkAyan in their magical baby acquisition is as hilarious as it is sweet.

Sarah, last week you were generous with us so I am not expecting anything this week! Please feel free to ignore me. BUT! Would you, maybe, perhaps, just MAAAYBEEEE, pretty please be willing to share another eeny-meeny sneak peek from this week's chapter? Maybe of Aye going full-on dad-mode with baby Dao? 🥰 Or whatever you'd feel comfy!

Anyway, as always, anxiously waiting for Stardust! Thank you so much 💜✨

Sure thing! Here is a brief sneak peek:

The next morning, Akk woke up alone and for one harrowing second, he thought it had all been a dream. The grief that washed over him then was like nothing he’d ever felt. It was worse even than watching Aye storm out of the home they had built together and knowing that he wouldn’t come back. It was finally being given everything he had ever wanted and watching it disappear in the blink of an eye.

But then, from down below, he heard the joyous trill of a baby’s laughter. He sat up, revitalized by the sound, and then followed it down the stairs as if it was a siren’s song. It wasn’t until he walked into the kitchen to find Aye feeding the child pieces of what looked like mashed-up banana that he finally let himself believe it was real.

The baby saw him before Aye did.

Mouth full, he began bobbing up and down in his high chair, reaching towards Akk, and Akk was positive no one had ever been that happy to see him in his life. He couldn’t help but smile. 

“Swallow first, kid,” he said helpfully. The baby did, freeing himself to vocalize his affection instead, but Akk had already turned his attention to Aye who was staring at him with a spoon of mush still outstretched towards the child. 

Aye looked, in a word, delicious. He was still in his pajamas, hair mussed, face puffy from sleep. He looked like the Aye Akk remembered. The Aye from before. The Aye that was his. Akk hesitated before coming closer, scared Aye might have decided to hate him overnight, but Aye just looked him over from top to bottom and then turned back to the baby, offering him the spoon in his hand. The baby took the bite gratefully.

“Do you want to try?” Aye asked, glancing over his shoulder at Akk. Akk was surprised to find that he did.

“Um, yeah. I mean, I guess I can…” He pulled up a chair and Aye passed him the spoon. Akk must have hesitated for just a second too long because Aye laughed.

“Don’t be scared. He’s not going to bite you. He’s barely got any teeth.”

Akk hadn’t known it was possible to feel pride watching a baby eat, but as he took the spoonful of banana Akk offered him, for the first time in a while, Akk felt like he had actually accomplished something. The baby preened, smacking his lips happily. His joy was infectious.

“See,” Aye said encouragingly as Akk scooped another spoonful of baby food out of the jar. “I told you it wasn’t hard.”

[squigglyoctosquigglez]

assinging each cpds member a milgram song (except Undercover. no one is Es here. except maybe Lucy. yeah Lucy is Es now she gives the verdicts for each of their murders-)

for those who don't know, milgram is a fictional music project that involves a prison that hold 10 prisoners, each had been the sole cause of someones death (not just murder) and the only real clues to their "sin" is through songs !! there's also es they're the prison warden

i got this idea at like 10 pm today in my timezone, i say random ass shit here too please dont judge im tired

chris - Throw Down (uhh reading the lyrics chris is the kind to like really care but hes just done with everyone), Triage (he does not want to be deemed INNOCENT [he's still getting voted innocent])

dennis - After Pain ("“I’m sorry” won’t reach anyone (I hope it will someday) " dennis seems like the kind of kid to be bullied in school), Magic (dennis is at heart, childish. and also probably had shit parents. nothing wrong with the first one, everything wrong with the second one), The Purge March (eh hes probably not in a cult but like still he follows orders a bit too much to order idk how to explain it he remembers everything exactly except his own lines so like)

robert - half (kazui literally starts preforming an opera in the mv for this, anyways uhhh denise), It's Not My Fault (its literally in the name), Cat ("Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye / That sticky-sweet sequence: Dinner + Camouflage + You-Know-What / Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit / Victim and Perpetrator, let’s keep it simple" continuing half "Phew, oh wow I’m drunk, Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do?" this song is so painfully robert its insane idk why also kazui (prisoner singing the song) eats a fucking dove in the mv btw do with that info what you want idk)

sandra - MeMe (i have no actual reason for this just take my word for this one), It's Not My Fault (datte datte warekurai mon-), I Love You / Daisuki (see max's description) (im sorry there's still like 1 trial left, idk there's only like 20 songs)

max - This is how to be in love with you (title speaks for itself, max is a very loving person! sometimes too loving… like mahiru (prisoner singing the song) i think they would get along actually), I Love You / Daisuki (this song goes too hard to have that title, anyways Mon-mon-monstrously in love in love / Mon-mon-monstrous, cuz I love you so much / Mon-mon-monstrously in love in love / A monstrous dilemma!!!) (someone protect him)

johnathan - Weakness (idfk "ahHaHA, Please notice me. ahHaHA, Someone please notice me."), All-Knowing And All-Agony (probaby was neglected as a child or something idk now he indirectly relys on robert please dont listen to me im jsut spouting random shit atp im tired its 11 pmg now)

vanessa - Umbilical (i actually have no good reason for this), Tear Drop (i dont think she wants to be voted innocent for her murder [news flash, shes still getting voted innocent]), Double (or not innocent! idk man shes not mikoto (prisoner singing the song) but i gotta give his songs to someone and she kinda fits)

annie - HARROW (annie and trevor are similar in goals, to take down sin and make them pay for what they've done. however they do it in two different ways. idk those two different ways probably direct death threats (trevor) and an indirect slow death (annie). i have no fucking clue what im talking about actually), Deep Cover ("Don’t you dare stop now I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it" idk what kotoko (prisoner singing the song) ment by this but uhh do what you want with that)

trevor - Bring It On (see HARROW), Backdraft (LISTEN TO THE SONG ITS A FUCKING BANGER- anyways i have no reason for this than this connects with bring it on Burn, burn! An ever-victorious FIRE, burn so high till it becomes ash / Burn, burn! Deliciously scorched, till your mouth waters / Flames closing in, can’t douse this FIRE)

[jujumin-translates]

Sakuya Sakuma | [SR] A Youth Who Takes Pride In His Skill | Souvenirs for Spring Troupe

Sakuya: I’m home!

Citron: Welcome home!

Itaru: Welcome home, Sakuya. Don’t mind me.

Sakuya: Oh, Itaru-san. What are you doing here?

Itaru: Mobile gaming sesh. Citron wanted to do a raid together.

Citron: Playing with Itaru helps me progress faster~!

Sakuya: Gotcha!

Citron: By the way, Sakuya, what is in the bag?

Sakuya: Actually, these are souvenirs for you guys.

Sakuya: I came across these really cute panda buns, so I bought a box to eat with everyone!

Itaru: Heh, I look forward to it.

Citron: The other three are out. We can ask when they return!

Itaru: I’ll try putting it in the group LIME.

*LIME Start*

Chigasaki Itaru: Hey. Sakuya bought panda buns, what time are you guys gonna be back?

Tsuzuru: Oh, thanks, Sakuya. I’m on my way home now.

Utsuki Chikage: I’ll be back by dinner.

M.U: I’ll also be back around then.

Chigasaki Itaru: Ok.

*LIME End*

Sakuya: Looks like everyone can eat them tonight!

Citron: Yes! It can be dessert after dinner~.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Izumi: (After I’ve finished cleaning up, maybe I’ll relax a little bit.)

Sakuya: Ah, Director.

Tsuzuru: Are you cleaning up?

Izumi: Yeah, I’m just about finished. What are you two doing?

Sakuya: We came to make tea.

Tsuzuru: Sakuya bought panda buns so we talked about having Spring Troupe eat them together.

Izumi: If that’s the case, how about you use these tea leaves?

Tsuzuru: Aren’t these those really nice ones?

Izumi: I’m not really sure about the specific details because I got them as a gift for helping out another troupe, but I think they are.

Sakuya: Is it really okay for us to drink?

Izumi: There’s a lot, so it’s okay. And I’m sure it fits with the panda buns.

Sakuya: Well then, thanks for the offer.

Izumi: Yeah, you’re welcome.

Sakuya: Oh! If you’d like, why don’t you join us, Director?

Izumi: Eh, but if I join, there wouldn’t be enough…

Sakuya: That’s okay! They came in a box, so there’s an extra one anyway.

Izumi: If that’s the case… Maybe I’ll join, if it doesn’t bother you, that is.

Sakuya: You would never be a bother, Director. Everyone welcomes you!

Tsuzuru: And there’s one person who will be especially welcoming of you.

Izumi: Thanks, you two. Well, let me help make the tea.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Sakuya: I’ve got the tea made!

Izumi: Pardon me.

Masumi: …! I didn’t know you were coming…

Tsuzuru: She was in the kitchen, so we invited her. …Hey, you’re way too quick to set up camp next to the Director!

Masumi: I’ll always sit next to you.

Izumi: Ahaha…

Sakuya: Well, let’s open up the box right away!

Itaru: Oh, they’re colorful.

Citron: They are all different colors!

Chikage: There really are so many colors.

Sakuya: According to the shop clerk, there aren’t only five different colors, but five different flavors too.

Tsuzuru: Five flavors, huh… What flavors are there?

Sakuya: I’m not really sure. The writing on the box is all in Chinese.

Itaru: I’m not sure, but this packaging looks kinda familiar…

Izumi: Now that you mention it, I think it looks familiar to me too…

Citron: Hah! These are--.

· ❀ —– ٠ ❀ ٠ —– ❀ ·

Citron: These look just like those Russian roulette dinosaur cookies Chikage got before! (1)

Chikage: Aah, so they do. I mean, it does say there’s one very spicy one in there.

Sakuya: Eeh!?

Citron: Russian roulette panda buns!?

Sakuya: …Sorry. I didn’t know I got a super spicy one…

Masumi: …If you didn’t know, it’s not your fault.

Tsuzuru: Yeah. No need to beat yourself up about it.

Chikage: We know you didn’t mean any harm by it.

Itaru: Since you’ve bought it anyway, why don’t we just enjoy this harrowing experience, yeah?

Izumi: It says it’s really spicy, but maybe it isn’t really that spicy!

Citron: If you pick the one and only spicy one, that means you’re lucky!

Sakuya: Guys… Thank you so much!

Tsuzuru: By the way, what are the other flavors?

Chikage: Sweet red bean, custard, chocolate, and strawberry. I’m sure the rest of you will enjoy them, as long as you don’t get the really spicy one.

Masumi: Chikage, you better not let the Director get the super spicy one.

Chikage: I’d happily take it, but how am I supposed to tell just by looking at them?

Itaru: Now that everyone knows what the flavors are, call dibs on the one you want.

Spring Troupe: Dibs!

Izumi: Ah… It’s a clean split.

Citron: It is all equal!

Itaru: Okay, guys, grab the one you just picked out…

Sakuya: This is kinda exciting!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Choose!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Choice 1: It is fun to have a little risk.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Izumi: Even if we don’t know the flavors, it’s kinda fun to have a little risk.

Sakuya: I guess. But I still feel bad for everyone else, so I hope I got the super spicy one for everyone else’s sake!

Izumi: Sakuya-kun, it’s really not your fault…

Itaru: Exactly. Plus Senpai would probably be happy with that one.

Chikage: Well, obviously. That’d be a win in my book.

Sakuya: Ah, that’s right!

Sakuya: Well then, I’ll be happy if everyone ends up with a flavor that they like!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Choice 2: Almost all of them are safe, but you won’t know until you try.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Izumi: Even if you think you got a good one, you won’t know until you eat it, it’s pretty exciting.

Sakuya: Are you also excited right now, Director?

Izumi: Of course I am!

Sakuya: Well, I feel the same! …Umm, Director.

Sakuya: I want everyone else to enjoy the food, but I also was the one who invited everyone, so…

Sakuya: I really hope the panda bun you pick is a good one, Director!

Izumi: Fufu, thanks. Well, I think it’s time to bite the bullet and see!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Citron: Well then, everyone, let’s eat them together!

Sakuya: And, go!

Izumi: Mmhm… Hm, it’s sweet and delicious!

Masumi: I’m you didn’t get the super spicy one.

Tsuzuru: Mhm, I got a normal one.

Itaru: Me too. My theory is that I had to use a subtle bit of my recent gacha luck here.

Chikage: As expected, these are genuinely tasty.

Citron: Mine is also very tasty!

Sakuya: My strawberry-flavored one is also really good!

Izumi: (Huh? But everyone got a good one…)

Sakuya: …Chikage-san. Was that one the extra spicy one?

Chikage: What makes you think that?

Sakuya: Umm, I don’t really know. It just seems like you thought it was really tasty while you were eating it…

Chikage: Huh… You’re right, it was a flavor that I like.

Tsuzuru: Seriously!?

Itaru: Looks like the right one came home lol.

Masumi: Just like he wanted.

Citron: Could you tell it was the super spicy one by the look of it, Chikage?

Chikage: Nope, just a coincidence, I guess.

Chikage: Regardless, it was good. Thanks, Sakuya.

Citron: They were the best!

Tsuzuru: Thanks for getting them for us.

Izumi: They were really good, Sakuya-kun.

Sakuya: I was surprised to hear that they were Russian roulette panda buns, but--.

Sakuya: I’m glad they made everyone happy in the end!

• • •

T/N:

(1) Reference to Chikage’s “Discovering the Unknown” card.

[aquanova99]

𝐿𝓊𝓁𝓁𝒶𝒷𝓎

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Esme Cullen Imagine

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The pristine hallways echoed with an eery humming. The blonde looked at her mate who sighed and rushed out the door, dreading having to make that phone call that hasn’t happened in decades. Rosalie took a deep breath, forcing herself to take the slowest humans steps she can manage. She knocked as softly as she could when she arrived at the normally locked door. Still the tiny raps seemed to reverberate off of the empty walls surrounding it.

“Esme?” She asked ever so quietly. The eternally young vampire seemed so human, it pained her to have to pull her out of this state. She gently pushed the door to find the brunette slowly pushing herself back and forth on the creaky rocking chair. She slowly looked up and smiled, putting a trembling finger to her lips.

“Shhhh. He’s sleeping…” then she turned to face the bundle in her arms, cooing at his porcelain face, “there, there. Go back to sleep little one.”

Rosalie knew better than to try and remove Esme from her waking slumber. So she carefully crept up to her, getting down to her knees without disrupting the chair’s movements.

“Esme, why don’t we put him down in his crib. Let him sleep.”

Esme slowly blinked at Rosalie’s hand on her knee, as if finally recognizing who had entered the room. Her eyebrows scrunched slightly, her pupils seem to dilate and her harrowing smile grew back on her face.

“Oh I know, but he isn’t feeling so well. He sleeps better when I’m with him.”

“Of course he does, but is he hungry? I just don’t know how he likes his milk just right. Maybe some broth to build up his strength?” Just get her out of the room. The rest will come after. Just get her out of the room. Out of the room.

“Broth…broth would be easy on his stomach, right?”

“…yes, of course. And you know what? We’ve already sent for a doctor. He should be here any minute.”

“I don’t know what I would do without you, Mary.” Rosalie smiled at her, hiding how deep her worry ran. Wondering how far down the rabbit hole Esme had fallen if she confused the tall blonde vampire with her long gone, much shorter, dark haired friend she lived with so long ago. The only person who mourned her when she jumped from that cliff. The one person Esme made sure would be taken care of as long as she lived. The one person whose premature death was the catalyst for these spine chilling episodes.

Inconsolable. For months the only thing that could describe Esme was a shell. A shell of the loving woman who had taken Rosalie in without hesitation. She wouldn’t speak, she would eat the bare minimum….then she started singing. A song Rosalie recognized from her childhood. A song her nanny would when she was sick and she wanted her mother to come home. Carlisle had been ecstatic rushing to see if she wanted to do anything.

“Dr. Cullen? I haven’t seen you in years! Are you here to check on the little one? He’s feeling much better, don’t worry.”

“Esme? Darling, are you feeling alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? My sons cold is all but gone now.”

Edward was the first to make that horrible mistake, he’d been gone for too long. Rosalie eyes had barely turned into a rich gold, she had excelled as a newborn, becoming Carlisle’s pride which Edward resented. Her and Esme had connected instantly due to their history, Edward knew this but still… He would get his mother to see sense. Or so he thought.

“Esme…your son has been gone for years. You’re clearly hall—“

“Edward!” Rosalie and Carlisle hissed at him simultaneously. Edward shrunk at both the spoken and unspoken words. Fury he had never felt from Carlisle’s thoughts made him silent. Couldn’t they see he was only trying to help?

All too soon, Esmes euphoric distraction turned into clouded pain, then loud agony.

“Why would you say that???” She cried, “he’s perfectly fine! I’ll get him right now!”

“Esme…” Carlisle said softly, desperate to call her

It was all in vain, Esme stomped off to the room closest to her. The family was frozen in place, unsure of what to do or how to help. Esme quickly found no trace of any baby in that room and threw the door open panicked, pupils dilated so large it looked as if she hadn’t eaten for months. She immediately pointed her finger in Edwards chest.

“Where is he?!”

“I didn’t—“

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?” She roared, shoving him back before going to check every room in the house. Rosalie and Carlisle both have eachother a look, she nodded at him and he rushed off to grab his wife. Rosalie hesitated only for a second. Wondering if her presence would make it better or worse for the woman she had become so fond of.

Edward remained frozen, he would never have imagined Esmes voice even got to that volume and never at him. The hurt and despair he heard from inside her crushed him. He was a monster, perhaps he shouldn’t have returned… the sudden crash upstairs snapped him back into reality. He quickly followed the sound to see a frazzled a Carlisle holding down his trashing mate.

“Let go of me! He NEEDS me!”

“Esme you’re here in Brighton New York. I’m your husband.”

“LET GO OF ME!! I need to see my son.”

Rosalie got down to her knees making sure Esme heard her, “Esme? I need you to look at me. My name is Rosalie, I was almost killed by my fiancé and you and Carlisle took me in. Your baby died over ten years ago.”

“NO!!!”

“Yes.” Rosalie’s steady voice impressed even Edward, “listen for your heart. It doesn’t beat anymore. It stopped beating when your baby died.” Esme thrashed but enough doubt was placed for her to hear that the woman beside her wasn’t lying. Her legs stopped kicking, her body stopped pushing against her husband. And slowly, she began crying. First a whimper, then screaming broken sobs. Carlisle could only hold her, shushing her until she calmed down almost an hour later.

The word ‘why?’ repeatedly leaving her lips haunting their memories every time she would seem even slightly distracted.

Esme continued to rock the bundle in her arms until it was laying calmly in the crib. Esme sighed, “God, he’s just perfect.”

Rosalie put a gentle hand on her shoulder as she looked down at the larger porcelain doll, the paint chipping from years of use, a crack along the arm when Esme excitedly grabbed it just hard enough. Still she nods at the beaming mother, the car zooming into the driveway alerting her that Carlisle had finally arrived. Esme completely unaware of anything other than her sleeping toddler, still so small from always getting sick. He appeared before them in an instant. His hair disheveled. Rosalie shook her head, not yet. Carlisle snuck away as quickly as possible, not wanting to upset her.

“So, Esme what kind of broth do you think would be best. Should we put medien in it as well?”

“Oh yes. Just to be safe, I don’t want him getting worse.” Everything was going smoothly for now, she seemed to skip as she excitedly went to fix something up for her long lost child. She bummed the same unnatural tune as she began gathering ingredients. Rosalie was close behind her, Emmett already clearing everything breakable from the kitchen. He blocked the exit, and Rosalie stood on the opposite side as Carlisle prepared to ruin the only thing that truly made her happy, made her feel alive.

“Esme?”

“What are you doing here? Are you the doctor Mary called? It’s been too long.” She went to greet the doctor in a warm hug, he returned it but didn’t let go. Not sure how she would react this time. “I was about to start cooking I’ll make some food for us if you want to stay?”

“Esme… you need to wake up darling.”

She laughed and tried to move away from her mate. When she realized she was stuck, her dreams began unraveling, “Wh-you’re scaring me, Doctor. Please.”

“How did you find the key?”

An smile began to stretch her face. It sent chills down Carlisle’s body, “What are you talking about?”

“Rosalie. Where was it?” Carlisle prayed it was somewhere easy to find, prayed her wife hadn’t forced herself in there.

“Underneath one of the tiles on the roof. She would have had to been looking for it.”

Esme laughed wickedly, “I don’t know what it was doing up there. I was cleaning the gutters and i something lift ever so slightly. Why would you do that to me?”

“Esme—“

“Why are you trying to keep me from baby? He’s sick. He needs me.”

“No. He’s gone. He’s been gone.” Carlisle never let her look away from him

“I told you we shouldn’t have encouraged her to build it.” Rosalie muttered

“I thought it was better.”

“She’s just not distracted with Bella and Renesme anymore. She’s all grown up, no more real baby to fawn over.”

“Real?” Esme blinked in confusion. Emmett slid a folder across the counter, Carlisle opening it for Esme to read. Newspaper clippings of his death, the time leading up to it meticulously journaled by a human Esme. Her own death and obituary about the heartbroken mother unable to live without her child. A picture of his tiny gravestone. More pictures of when he had been born, one a few months before he got sick, finally a flash drive taped to the side of the folder. Rosalie opened a laptop for him to insert the drive in, a video of Esme telling herself she was sick and her baby has been gone for years.

“We’re so sorry Esme.” Rosalie started

Esme pouted and looked at the ground. Her hands soon covered her eyes as if that could stop the never ending headache. Liars. All of them are cruel liars her thoughts screamed but more and more thoughts began dissuading her. No. They wouldn’t do that. They’re your family now. Get it together. She took a deep breath.

“I see.”

“How are you feeling?” Emmett asked cautiously

“As good as I can be dear, sorry for worrying you all.” She felt for the key resting in her pockets and held it out. “I suppose it’s your turn.”

Emmett nodded and took the key into his pocket, he will have to hide it later, when Carlisle takes her for a walk.

If he had that chance, Bella and Renesme came strolling in. Trying so desperately to not show how much they wanted to get away, from Edward, from each other. Renesme went to her grandmother, annoying her mother even further, knowing she would now how to make small talk with Rosalie.

“Hi sweetie! How have you been?”

“Just missed you guys. Is everything okay? Why are you guys acting all weird.” Esme looked at the rest of her family, already forgetting the days events. Carlisle and Rosalie looked at eachother and silently agreed to stay quiet. Bella could see something was wrong, why wouldn’t they tell them? Had they been alienated from them for so long? Was she not trustworthy? Was it Edward?

Esmes eyes seem to glaze over remembering she had a family to take care of, “Everything is perfect little one, Rosalie could you drop off the soup to the shelter?”

“Sure thing Esme.”

“Perfect. Now to my favorite granddaughter, can I make you anything?”

“Can we do something together? Maybe some sweets?”

“Of course we can. Everyone out of the kitchen please.” Esme shooed everyone away to give them space. As they collected the dishes and ingredients, the Cullens sat in the living area nearby. Bella tried to ask questions but when even Emmett gave short, curt responses she gave up. She wished she could go back to Forks, though she would never admit it, the more time went on the harder it was to stay completely stagnant. Now even the Cullens had nothing left to talk to her about.As she continued pondering about how to avoid perpetual boredom a lovely song reached her ears. She looked at the rest of her family all staring wide eyed towards the kitchen.

“What song is that grandma?”

“Just an old song I used to sing for my son. He always used to take any dessert I would eat right out of my hand you know?”

“Oh…that’s nice.”

“Yes. He would just love these.” Esmes head snapped to the sound of crying, alerting her that her baby was up and fussy again. It was just like him, wanting attention right when she was in middle of doing something.

“Oh! I’ll be right back! He just needs me real quick. No one can calm him besides me.”

“Uhm who are you talking about?”

“The baby silly! I think he’s probably hungry. I do hope he’s feeling better.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[raayllum]

& i will say as someone who has always liked the gothic / earned my degree in english... there is something to be said for “never say never” if you actually want to analyze media and/or expand your horizons. 

not only are pieces of media that discuss violation and taboos interesting (in many ways from a literary standpoint, incest and cannibalism are the same thing - a violent consumption and one sided ownership - but one is sexual and the other is physical, and bringing them together can be Fascinating in terms of how we can talk about the human condition, the harm we can do to one another & have done to one another, etc) but are also just useful, because how those things have been seen and treated have varied (somewhat) over history? 

cannibalism and kinslaying was a massive no-no in ancient grecian society, in spite of or maybe even in response to both of those things happening one by one in their primordial myths (kronos literally has children with his sister - like all gods - then eats his children, only for his children to later ‘kill’ him by chopping him into pieces. his dick formed aphrodite)

and to a certain degree, watching people go through terrible things or inflict terrible things on one another in the realm of fiction is the crux of tragedy. there’s emotional catharsis in tragedy, of course, of just expelling emotions in a safe setting where terrible things are not happening to you, but then there’s also the reaffirmation of agency and security that you have, because they’re not happening to you - that characters do not have free will, their stories are written for them, but you do have free will (which is its own burden, but mostly not). 

like you may say “i’ll never ship anything that falls into [x thing here]” and that could very well be true (although bad news if it’s incest and you’ve enjoyed literally Anything based off mythology in your life like PJO or hadestown, etc), there are definitely squicks for me i’ll never really be into but like. i also don’t totally know? there could always be the right story at the right time and place that makes me intrigued or interested in something i wasn’t before. 

having that openness also means allowing for different interpretations. i can ship past viren/harrow, and even in the present day portion of the show, while acknowledging and being fully aware that narratively / thematically (and canonically, if we wanna go that far) they’re supposed to have a brother-like bond. but to stuff characters and ships and moral rules into stuffy little cubbies and ignoring all the grey areas, and where people (fiction or otherwise) have always existed in those grey spaces has just... never sat right with me?

perhaps it’s because i’m nonbinary, so i exist in a grey and outside of a binary. maybe it’s because i lean towards not needing definitive answers, thanks to the reading i’ve done on judaism and religions other than my own (cultural & religious) christian background. maybe it’s because as an aro person, my own form of attraction is incredibly blurred between romantic and platonic. maybe it’s because i am Very good at recognizing anti (anti sex work, anti kink, anti shipping, anti queer, anti trans) rhetoric because it all comes from a place of “this exists and i think it shouldn’t, even though it’s not harming me” not only from my existence as a queer person, but also from my perspective (and from others like me) of being a minor harassed by adults in the name of ‘protecting the children,’ because they thought i was shipping a minor/adult. i wasn’t, for the record (canon ages were extremely ambiguous) but even if i had been, that’s still totally okay?? and not worth harassment?? just be Normal about it??

so yeah, i block liberally about it to protect myself, and i don’t blame other people who do too, because if someone falls into one of those anti camps, it’s very hard to tell which other ones they may fall into

and idk, i just think it’s Good for people to read things that make them uncomfortable, fiction wise. it pushes you past your own cultural understandings. it can lead to growth or reaffirm your own worldviews for the better. the more you overtly moralize (and demonize), dividing things into categories of “this is always bad or irredeemable” the more you make it harder for people to discuss the full complexities of their lives, because something can be always bad, yes, but that doesn’t mean there was never any good (or reasoning behind it that, right or wrong, appealed to the best or worst of people) in it either. if you deeply moralize racism, you give ‘nice whites’ a shield to hold up. if you deeply demonize age gaps, you make people who are actually vulnerable to them less likely to listen, rather than giving young adults better tools and concepts to learn when a relationship - any kind of relationship - is healthy for them.

and i’d say it’s fiction’s responsibility to challenge, but not to unilaterally teach, ethical and moral norms, anyway (which also aren’t defined principles, but you get my drift). what’s that quote? “Art Should Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comfortable” by la cruz. Yeah

anyway all this to say go read the perks of being a wallflower or kiss of the fur queen or the book thief or things fall apart and come back to me about prioritizing your personal comfort over letting people just live their lives in fandom without moralizing everything. modern day sanitation will not help you in the long run