#just needed to rant and vent somewhere

[sanshofox]

Currently at a mental low. Just want to vent what’s been accumulating. I will still try to open astarion commissions for january but depending on my health I might have to start later just fyi.

Like I said before I had several trigger points at my left shoulder blade that took me awhile to wring them out with massages and warmth treatment. Wanted to give myself a pause.

Now for two-ish weeks I am noticing that my upper body is tilting a bit towards the left side when relaxing (standing or sitting). I know that I have scoliosis but it was never a severe case. Doctors let me go just like that when I was a kid except for a bit of regular physio. But now I have the feeling that I maybe had the shoulder blade pain because it‘s gotten worse. I am scared shitless. It’s right before christmas I am not getting doctors appointments til next year and I am afraid of what’s to come because none of the three main treatments sound good, more like a burden to my life quality/body feeling. Currently always fixing posture when I feel like I tilting again and I am so frustrated and fed up. It’s constantly on my mind because of that and things like reading or drawing that were once enjoyable and my relaxation nr1 I am now afraid of doing because of posture.

Another thing I noticed is that my left arm has lost strength. Maybe through whatever I had in my shoulder blade. Like I said before in a post I powered through drawing for 2 months straight. Maybe that resulted in muscle loss. Holding my phone in my left hand is much more straining from arm to shoulder blade than my right side.

So yea I hoping that it has nothing to do with my scoliosis but instead smth else. Even while writing this, holding my phone in both hands my left arm almost hurts from holding it up for long. 2023 has been a shitshow and this was the moulding cherry on top for me.

[triple-pupil]

Reporting three days into my Slugterra marathon to which I can't escape from.

It's funny how I Can't be able to see any pair of characters in this series and ship them, the series itself isn't romance-centered and there's enough Lore and action scenes that take My attention.

I thought maybe I could ship Blakk and one of his assistants like El Diablos Nacho or that one red haired guy that appears every now and then, maybe even with Will Shane. I also tried getting the ship vision for other characters but I can't get it, Even some that would attract me like Diablos Nacho x Brimstone, Eli Shane x Twist still need time to boil in my brain.

So in shipper desperation I searched and searched for any pair that would look cute kissing.

Anyways, I found these sillies.

[quibbs126]

Optimus, why are you so GODDAMN difficult?

Okay, so I’m back and trying to come up with this protoform Optimus design, and I have some things, but I can’t get it to look good

It’s the vents that are the main problem, I tell you

Okay, so one thing I’m trying to give him is these side circles Hashtag has, in place of his normal circles and his antenna (he doesn’t get them here; actually none of them have their antenna or horns, sorry)

But I can’t get it to look right, or like it’s too wide looking. I also don’t know if I want them angled down like how Hashtag has them, or up to simulate his antenna (though I’m leaning now more towards down, so that the antenna are exclusive to his future look)

But the vents, the vents I tell you! They’re the main thing keeping me from getting this design down, because I don’t know how to incorporate them without them being blocky, which is what they’re not supposed to be

Like okay, this here are the designs I’m shopping around right now, best I can have them, but they don’t look right because of the vents! And also, probably how wide the circles are

I don’t know how to give him his side things without it cutting into the circles and also still staying recognizable to his vents

*sigh* maybe I need another break from this. Or maybe I should start Bumblebee in the meantime, he’s less likely to give me a headache I think

[sunsetovertheocean]

Just realized I’m allowed to feel uncomfortable when people (whether it’s strangers or people I “know”) touch my hair

I’m going to need 3-5 business days

[kbius6]

TEN year anniversary for the Tokyo Ghoul anime has me dead. TEN YEARS?!?! REALLY?!?!?! IT'S BEEN TEN YEARS?!?!?!

This was the first manga I ever read start to finish(and reading it made me kind of hate the anime lol(I don't hate it, but it deserved better). The fact that it's turning 10 just absolutely boggles my mind. I was going through so much at that time, grandpa dying from cancer, being in the closet and terrified to even admit it to myself(pan & proud 🩷💛💙) my depression coming back in FULL swing and then some, and on top of it finally being a teenager(14 in September 2014). It's always gonna have a special place in my heart. It helped me get through so much, and honestly it's probably what really kicked off my love Japanese metal/rock music(I know Unravel is just a meme at this point but TK's music fucking slaps)

[set-wingedwarrior]

I think people would benefit from making peace with the fact that every time you give money to literally anything (for a book, supporting a show, a comic, whatever), some of that supoprt will reach at least one person that (at least to your standards) doesn't deserve it.

You enjoy this anime/manga? Just look at the japanese industry as a whole.

You enjoy this comic from this adorable creator? At least someone involved in the printing or shipping or something else might be an asshole.

You enjoy this tv show, animated or not? A company is made of hundreds of people. actors, writers, directors, artists, marketing department, merchandising department (which is divided on its own to who actually makes it); with all these people involved, many will be assholes. I can promise you that there's someone who is sexist, homo-transphobic, or just a dick that will get part of that support.

This is something we just have to accept, or else we're just going to drive ourselves mad trying to always be "morally pure and right". Sure, it's good that we try ou best, but we also gotta put it in prospective: I don't care if someone behind a show I like is a bit of a dick, but if they do use the money from said show to found malicious organizations then you can bet your ass they won't ever see my money (any reference to any well knows british writer is purely coincidential).

I think that people should calm down, especially when throwing accusations to others for liking something they don't, and maybe focus more on the practical facts and consequences of their actions instead of throwing around moral accusations over harmless stuff.

[fromthemouthofkings]

I know I'm rather late to this particular train but in light of the new wave of Covid kicking back up again, I just want to express

that I am incandescently furious about these past few years of watching many of my fellow humans, friends, family, coworkers, hypocrites who claim to care about accessibility without lifting a finger to actually do anything about it, and most especially those doctors and policymakers whose duty it is to care for their people and provide a clear example and leadership, decide that my life is expendable and not worth even the minor inconvenience of wearing a piece of paper over their face some of the time.

I'm so tired of being treated like I'm crazy for still taking precautions against a disease that could further disable me if not worse, and that has already caused serious effects on my life, and more tired of being locked out of the public life and my own community on pain of death or debilitating illness. I know you can't control other people's actions, but it still feels insane to be pleading for my life and have most of my community, the same people who took me in and loved me when my family of birth and my religion shunned me for being queer, utterly refuse to do even the most minor fucking thing to help me (and themselves!)

and yes some people are still taking precautions. and more people would probably do more if the CDC recommended it or if the guidelines were built around something other than politics and the economy and just accepting that abled people will get Covid once or twice a year and the rest of us will just have to die about it. And lots of people simply don't know any of this and have no reason to, and would be doing more if they did

but I'm still mad. And, more than that, betrayed. And helpless, because how do you fight apathy without looking like the fun-hating, party-spoiling paranoid? How do you cope with your options being go to work and the grocery store and see your family and let all the people around you put you into grave danger, or lose access to those things altogether? it's not sustainable, and I'm looking ahead at this fall and winter, and I am already so tired

[ask-artsy-oncie]

It will forever frustrate me when white liberals who refused to vote in 2016 talk about the 2016 election like it was an embarrassing moment in history and not like. So terrifying that people were literally killing themselves the morning after election day. It frustrates me that it was treated like a symptom of "how cursed 2016 was", it frustrates me how so many of these people who didn't vote woke up the next day largely unaffected.

There are no people of color I know (who was an adult during that year) who fucking treats that election like this in memory. The hate crimes started immediately - you, your friends, your family, your teachers, your coworkers, would witness or be victims of assault, or have your possessions or workplace destroyed, defaced, surrounded, because human scum racists decided to celebrate their victory by acting on their freshly emboldened hatred. You would pass along messages about potentially not leaving the house at all for at least a week. You would recieve understanding from those who Knew. It wasn't an embarrassment or disappointment. It was suffocating. It was paralyzing.

I can't stand it that the very people who let it happened treat it like a joke. I consider myself extremely lucky that no one I know died following it.

[attroxx]

rant under the cut i'm just tired of being an adult ((:

every time i think i'm ahead i just get pushed back. i just spent 300$ on tires and my grandpa calls me and tells me my back tire is going flat. and i'm not sure if those are the new tires or not but either way, either i gotta replace the rest of my tires or the ones i just bought are bogus. i'm on the verge of tears. i have a trip coming up in 2 weeks and i've been so excited cause i need a break and UGHHHHHHHHHHHH

[celcompile]

i know no one is listening but if only to put it out into the void, idk what flavor of queer/nd i am exactly but i was lucky enough to experience what it was like to actually be myself and to be celebrated for it this past year! It was great and it was hard!

To be they/them’d and sometimes he/him’d felt so good! To know and express my real personality, which is still kind, but not constantly under duress! To be kind not bc I felt threatened but bc I loved the ppl around me!

it’s a really tough time to consider that I may be more transmasc than I initially thought— perhaps the worst time— but I can’t go back, it felt too good to feel like I could finally stop acting!

I was a corpse walking compared to rn. I don’t want to change back bc of the world’s cruelty.

[constellationofcalibur]

So fucking special that they gotta prescribe me fucking pills to stop my periods, bitch. Ya think they’d try to investigate it more with the fact this isn’t the first time they’ve had to do this, but nope! I’m a fucking enigma when it comes to this shit (or really anything related to medical stuff in general). … this is also me stating that the American healthcare system is fucking shit and I wish I didn’t live in this goddamn country.

[chocolate-cream-soldier]

Current mood:

[metalheadclown]

Sorry for posting this I just need somewhere to vent. But my mom's fiancee is a Trump supporter and my mom isn't and Bob (gonna call him Bob, that's not his real name obvi.) keeps calling Kamala a n word (THIS MAN IS WHITE AF) whore and keeps telling everyone that because she's a woman she obviously fucked every politician she could to get to her position. He said he's happy about Trump being president and stands for EVERYTHING trump stands for too, I'm a gay transman and I'm Hispanic, I told Bob that Trump literally hates my entire existence and that he wants people like me to stop existing and this fucking asshole told me that he knows exactly what trump wants for women, queer people, and POC and he agrees with it all. He told me that I'm not natural and that I'm a freak and that hopefully trump being president will force me to be "normal". He said all that awful shit to me IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER and what really breaks my heart is that my mom just quietly sat there and let him say all those things to me. My mom supports the LGBTQ and is the furthest thing from racist but since she's been with Bob she's stopped discussing things like that with me and just stays quiet when Bob goes on his rants, I know he isn't physically abusive towards her but he sometimes says harsh things to her that really piss me off. It's like I don't even know my mom anymore and I'm terrified that I'll have to cut her off too when I move out, my mom was the only one in my corner when I came out of o my whole family and to think that she's just "ok" with Bob saying all those horrible things to me is heartbreaking, I want my mom back and I fear I'm losing her to him. My mom had me really young and she often picked her boyfriends over me but started being an actual mom towards me when I was roughly 11, it saddens me to see her picking that horrible man over her own child. I really don't want to have to cut her off when I move soon but I have a feeling that I'm going to have to, I feel physically sick thinking about having to cut her off but I know in the end it'll benefit me.

[wheredreamsareforged]

Okay rant / vent here because AHA Gachas. /neg

Anyone else feel really disheartened whenever you lose a 50/50 but see insane luck from anyone else??? Like, I know it's unrealistic to expect to win every time but

I can only count 5 times I've won a 50/50 in a gacha game that I am SUPER invested in rather than only casually enjoying it: once in Genshin, where I got Childe and Xianyun's weapon, and two in Honkai Star Rail where I've gotten Blade, Topaz, and Ratio's LC :")

Maybe 6, but I don't remember if I lost the 50/50 on Robins, but if it's any tell as to my typical track record, I am assuming I did not

And it's such a slap in the face and kinda like "why me?" seeing friends or strangers seem to have infinite amounts of pulling luck- esp if they're seemingly f2p

It's super disheartened and makes me feel really pessimistic with my pulls now which certainly doesn't help. I'm 90% sure that all the pulls I've done on Genshin Impact were lost 50/50s, when I didn't have a guarantee (not counting when I got Xiao, as that was my spouse pulling for me)

Like- when I lose a 50/50 they're, usually, not someone I'm really looking forward to getting / building at the moment (and in HSR I have all of the standard units)

Idk it feels bad man. Really saps my want to pull on limited banners away from me

[auroraknux]

I really haven't been feeling okay for the past few days. Things are looking really bad in my country right now, and I feel so fucking scared. I don't have much hope that things will get any better; I think it's only going to continue getting worse from here.

[tribow]

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

If I see another video like this I'm gonna lose it.

I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! I've watched these videos, I've scrolled through the comments and all I see is a severe lack of discussion about the good racing games that have released in modern years. Have these people not played Distance? Literally the best racing game of all time. There are more racing games than Forza, Need For Speed, and Gran Turismo!

But Tribow!!!! That's not the only games people complain about! What about other franchises like The Crew, Project Cars, DIRT, GRID, and more!?! They have had bland releases as well as the other franchises! This whole genre sucks now! The only games that are any fun are the racing sims like iRacing and Asetto Corsa! Modern racing games cannot capture the essence of the PS2 era of racing games! It's ruined by corporate greed!

.....

I'm not just making up a strawman, I see the idea that there are no good racing games (especially in the arcade sub-genre) all over the comments of these youtube videos. The videos themselves talk about how racing games just aren't good anymore.

SOMETIMES, they'll talk about the indie scene and how there has been some good racing games coming out of there, but they often get dismissed as games that are too small to scratch the racing game itch due to there smaller budgets and ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!

On what Earth do the indie games offer less content than the AAA slop!?! What, just because the games don't have an open-world, licensed cars, and constant repetitive events that means they have less content? The indies have just as much content without all of that fluff! Besides, the PS2 era of racing games many of these videos talk about have the same or LESS content as the modern indies.

There have been a whole slew of good, great, to AMAZING racing games released within this decade that have completely blown me away several times over. The communities playing these games love them just as much the games from the PS2 era and yet "Modern racing games suck". "Arcade racing is dead". I've had enough! There's nothing wrong with this genre!

Don't believe me? Ok.

We got Trail Out. Released in 2022 as a spiritual successor of sorts to Flat Out. Do you miss those racing games with cool crash physics and are angry that car companies don't let developers go crazy with vehicle damage? Trail Out is right there, as well as Wreckfest which released in 2018. Wreckfest has even more impressive crash physics than Trail Out does. These games have reviewed pretty positively for the most part, but they're slept on.

Miss the old arcade racing scene? There's A BUNCH of indie racers to fill that void and it's not like higher budget games haven't been coming out either. Hotshot Racing (2020 release) is a small quality package of an arcade racer reminiscent of that era. You got Formula Retro Racing (2020 release) capturing the exact vibe an arcade machine would have centered around, you guessed it, Formula 1. Inertial Drift (2020 release) is a game jam-packed to the brim with drifting content. Its got the Initial D inspiration, its got bangin eurobeat, it still gets support from its developers, the visuals are stylized as fuck. New Star GP (2024 release) has a motorsport career mode that people have been eating up. Everyone I know who has touched that game has been saying it's fire. Hotwheels Unleashed 2 (2023 release) was quite a big improvement over the first game and has way less predatory micro-transactions compared to before. This game isn't mind-blowing or anything, but it genuinely deserved the 2023 Racing Game of the Year award way more than every other nominee because it was a solid release with very little bugs and plays amazingly well. Even though it may cost a little too much ($50 ignoring DLC) it's not like Need For Speed/Forza/Gran Turismo doing any better in that department and those games are WORSE!

Ubisoft sucks unwashed cocks, but they have been keeping Trackmania alive by continuing to publish it. Nadeo still keeps the game alive with updates coming out to this very day. A few months ago they added new cars from previous Trackmania games. The subscription service is a bit cringe, but considering the game is VERY centered around multiplayer I'd say it's tolerable. They have an amazing level editor and the gameplay is still Trackmania so it's still incredible.

I'm not done talking about the classic arcade style games form the modern era. There's a bunch of racing games that go for a top-down view, but still handle just as well if not better than the high budget modern racing games that suck. Circuit Superstars (2023 release). This game is a love-letter to many different kinds of motorsports. You got cars of all types here: Formula 1, Nascar, GT racing, Supertrucks, One-seaters, Eurotrucks, Rally-cross, Open wheel single seaters, Sprint Cars, and even more. You can race the different cars against each other if you want. The game takes tire wear and weather into account. You gotta do pit-stops. It's practically a sim, but presented in a very arcade way. The same devs even making a go-kart game to represent go-kart as a sport. It's in early access right now and people love it. Super Woden GP 2 (2023 release) has been highly praised for its fun career mode. There are people saying this game is better than Gran Turismo and it was developed by a single person. art of rally (2020 release) has been praised to hell and back by fans of Rally racing. It's like it was everything they wanted. The game felt was incredible to control. Turbo Sliders Unlimited (Early Access) is similar to Circuit Superstars, but without the realism. They got different kinds of cars to mess with and many fun tracks to try. There's a super good level editor and the community has been popping off with the multiplayer. Mini Motor Racing X (2020 release) is a solid arcade racing release that despite being a small package that is admittedly average in my opinion, it's STILL better than the AAA shlop.

What about the futuristic racing games!?!? Where's the crazy sci-fi, tron, neon, cyberpunk, anti-gravity stuff? Well there's tons of those too.

BallisticNG (2018 release) is an extremely good anti-gravity racer. Wipeout fans have been praising this game for a while now. Out of anything else I mention that is inspired by Wipeout this should be the one to play, but speaking of which. Redout (2016) and Redout 2 (2022) are super inspired by the Wipeout games. The mixed reviews may scare you a bit, but these games are still pretty good. The sequel didn't meet fan expectations and the game is notoriously very difficult, but it's still a damn good time if you don't mind the difficult. It's visually gorgeous too. Neodash (2022 release) is a crazy fast survival style racing game with high speed platforming. You'll be trying to keep your momentum along ultra fast levels drifting left and right to stay on track and avoid obstacles. It's a small package and pretty difficult, but cool experience. Rocket Assault (2023 release) controls nearly the exact same way Rocket League does, but this time you're not hitting a ball around and instead you'll be occasionally shooting down targets with literal rockets while trying to survive each track. It's a pretty difficult game, but Rocket League fans should enjoy this. Speaking of which... Rocket Racing (2023 release) FUCKING FORTNITE released a competent arcade racing video game. Personally, I do not think the game is good mechanically and it was a disappointment to see Rocket League's original mechanics dumbed down this hard. HOWEVER, it's better than a lot of the AAA competitors! Fortnite's community can do some wild stuff with it because of that level editor. I'm not gonna sit here and deny that the game is competent just because I don't like it. Super Pilot (2018 Early Access) is the game that ACTUALLY plays like F-Zero GX. Some of the other games I've mentioned have been called F-Zero clones even though they play more like Wipeout, but Super Pilot is meant to feel just like F-Zero X/GX and it succeeds at that. Not only does it nail the gameplay pretty well, its got a neat level editor to mess with. Super Pilot still receives updates to this day. I'm excited to see it completed. Grip: Combat Racing (2018 release) is a fantastic release that unfortunately hit its peak with multiplayer years ago. While that playerbase isn't quite there anymore, Grip remains as one of the coolest concepts a combat racing game has ever pulled off. Even if the online doesn't pop off anymore, you can still do local co-op if you want. FAST RMX (2017 release) goes hard. For you Nintendo Switch users out there, there's a racing game that y'all should have been clamoring over. It doesn't play like F-Zero and it's not quite like Wipeout either, but it stands on its own as an extremely cool anti-grav racing game. I wish FAST RMX wasn't locked to that one console because it's amazing.

Remember the game I mentioned at the beginning? Yeah. Distance? THE BEST RACING GAME OF ALL TIME. I'm not just memeing I quite literally have 5000+ hours in that game I love it that damn much. Distance is a survival arcade racing platformer game that feels fucking amazing to play. Probably the only racing game you'll ever see daring to have sci-fi horror vibes. It's aesthetically immaculate and the gameplay is such a unique experience. The car can jump, rotate, and fly around. It has insane freedom of movement. This may sound kinda like Rocket League, Hotwheels Unleashed, or Neodash, but Distance has a different feel to it compared to those games. Plus, Distance is more or less a sequel to Nitronic Rush, which released in 2011. Its mechanics predates the other games you can compare to it. Distance isn't just some small package of an indie game though. It's huge. The Arcade mode has over 100 levels to play. There's secrets to unlock. Cheats and modes to mess with. A level editor better than any other level editor I've seen. It's practically a game engine. People (including me) have made insane stuff in the editor. You can't experience this anywhere else.

And yet, despite all of these games. Modern racing games suck now. Is it because none of these are open world? Well guess what, there's a new open world racing game coming out soon called Resistor that looks pretty dang promising. Are racing game fans just gonna sleep on that one too because it doesn't have "Need For Speed" in the title? Resistor isn't the only racing game people are looking forward to either.

There's a game called NIGHT RUNNERS that fans of Need for Speed Underground and Wangan Midnight have been frothing at the mouth about since it recaptures the vibes of those older games. It's not done yet, but the game does have a demo and many people enjoyed that experience.

In terms of F-Zero-like games we got Aero GPX and XF Extreme Formula in development. Both games look amazing and the people who have had the chance to try to it themselves are giving the games high praises.

A rally game called Old School Rally aims to recapture the vibe of SEGA's Rally as well as the old WRC rally games from the PS2 era.

There's a godamn roguelike racing game coming out called REDLINE CROOKS that looks like a chaotic top-down good time.

AND YET I'm still seeing these videos talking about modern racing games being bad. "Ooohhh the racing genre is in shambles." For the love of all that is holy PLEASE pay attention to what's happening in the scene and stop buying the dogwater coming from these tired franchises. I implore you to try any of the racing games I mentioned here if you like racing games and ESPECIALLY try Distance. In fact, Distance is pretty close to releasing its PS4/PS5 update after many many years of being unable to deliver due to many real life complications.

I didn't even talk about so many other games! Horizon Chas Turbo/Horizon Chase 2, Pacific Drive (that counts right?), Heading Out (RELEASED A WEEK AGO), Turbo Golf Racing, and even a fucking sonic fan-game called Dr. Robotnik's Ring Racers thats better than most kart racers I've played in my entire life.

PLAY DISTANCE