joshua stirs awake at the feeling of you climbing into bed. he usually does for a minute, just long enough to acknowledge your presence, and he's already shutting his eyes when you settle in. then he hears the quietest hiccup, and he's already starting to wake up.
"hey... joshy?"
even if your voice wasn't so uneven and wobbly, joshua would have known you were upset. he's never joshy to you unless you are. he's joshua when you're speaking to or about him casually, josh when you're on the phone with your mom, shua when you're tired, and my evil, pretty boyfriend pretty much any other time. joshy is when you're upset and need to say it without saying too much. he knows how much you hate talking when you just want to cry and be held.
"c'mere," he's already sitting up and opening his arms to you. "it's gonna be okay... i'm here, my love."
my love is his way of saying everything he needs to say in moments like these: i'll keep you safe and i love you and you can cry now, i've got you. it's not the only name he has for you, but you always know what he means when he drops it oh-so-casually (always so in tune with when you're starting to get upset). one instance of 'my love' is enough to tell you he'll have the car waiting if you get your coat, or he'll make up a lie to leave early if you say it back, or he'll follow your lead if you fake sick.
you take refuge in his arms, and he's already curling them around you to hold you, safe and secure as always. you let out this quiet, shudder-y breath as you finally let go and break down in his arms. if you want to talk about it, you'll talk about it when you're done. he just strokes your back, his eyes fluttering shut as he holds you through this storm.
and he'll hold you when you resurface from underneath those waves, too, sealing the action with a soft my love just to sweeten it all.
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i presented on this panel a hot minute ago about like being trans in the workplace basically and it’s really so encouraging to be able to speak out to a range of ppl but especially to the older trades union guys who like, kinda have no idea about anything, but are actually super eager to learn and support this new face of labor organizing as their comrades all the same.
there was a question from a guy about like the use of queer nowadays tho, since i introduced myself as a genderqueer transsexual, and because when he grew up like that was so full of hate. and i answered like yknow, i wouldn’t broadly apply it still because it is full of pain for so many people, but as with AIDs activists in the 80s and 90s like, it’s reclaimatory, it’s meant to be punchy, it’s meant to make you uncomfortable.
but i keep thinkin n i’ve landed on a more solid answer for myself which is like. i’ve Really struggled with the word queer bc i grew up in a small rural conservative area where that was not said with love, where kids on rooftops threw rocks and called me a faggot when i walked by, where i couldn’t even go through a taco bell drive thru without being called a dyke. and the thing is now as times get a lil more socially conscious, as i live in a city with more liberal values, as i am in a workplace that at least claims itself to be LGBT friendly, i’ve realized that just because they stopped calling me a queer doesn’t mean they stopped treating me like one. so i think that’s why i’ve been able to take on words like dyke and fag and queer, out of pride And out of pure spite.
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i think the real reason why Kyuma's team lost wasn't bc they didn't have teamwork (bc they did lol), but because their specialties were too similar, thus, making their team less rounded than Arisu's.
like, Arisu is a hearts player, Usagi is spades, Tatta clubs, Niragi diamonds, and Kuina fluctuates between clubs and spades, whereas Kyuma's team was built up of mostly spades/clubs players (with the exeption of Shitara).
it doesn't mean Kyuma's team weren't smart, the opposite really, but overall, it just shows you NEED a well-rounded team for clubs games, as it gives multiple perspectives and the best chance for winning. going into a clubs game with only clubs players defeats the point of what a clubs game will entail.
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I brought my new pet home today. A sweet soft little bunny boy, needy and trembling. He looked so sweet at the market, trembling in his cage, watching the other pets get fucked and mounted and trying not to show how wet his pussy is.
Virgin. I paid extra for that. There’s nothing like training a toy from scratch, and he’s just perfect. I bring him to the bedroom, showing him his new home. He’s so shy, trying not to show his nervousness. So cute. I undress him gently, telling him pets don’t need clothes in the house. His chest is soft and can’t help but squeeze it. I hear him suppress a little sound, so I squeeze again. When I pinch his nipple he whines out loud and I see him clench his legs together.
Needy. His underwear has on obvious wet patch on it from his dripping hole and he blushes red when I see it. I clip him into his collar and cuffs, matching red leather around his throat wrists and ankles. I clip his chain to his collar and lead him to the bed where I clip him to my headboard. He squirms and I can see him rubbing his thighs together, trying to get some stimulation. When I grab his ankle he keens whining and resisting pull. I chuckle as I quickly over power him, chaining his ankles to the ceiling, his legs spread wide, hips cocked and holes exposed.
I admire his body, pretty flushed cheeks, pouty lips. His soft stomach and thighs. And his cock, hard and twitching, pink and gorgeous, I can’t help but salivate, wanting to take it into my mouth. And then his cunt, dripping wet and clearly needy, but previously untouched. A heady sense of power slips to my head, the knowledge that whatever I did to him would be the first time he experienced it coalescing in my mind as I select a cock and don my harness. Finally I chain his wrists to the headboard, keeping his arms out of the way.
He’s beautiful, spread out for me, completely exposed and at my mercy. I coat my cock in a thick layer of lube before lining it up with his cunt. He starts to whine and squirm, realizing what i intend to do and trying to buck away. I hold his hips steady pressing my weight on him to hold him still before pressing my hips forward. He wails out loud as my cockhead presses into him, stretching him open, as I use my body weight to slowly sink into his hole. He starts to cry when the head finally pops in, but sliding in deeper simply required a slow pressure.
As i nestle my cock against his cervix I take a moment to appreciate the sublime feeling of a virgin cunt. His hole flutters around my cock, stretched to its limits and full. I draw back slowly, savoring his sounds, stopping when my cock, is barely still inside him before thrusting all the way into the hilt in one hard stroke. He couldn’t disguise his moan through his tears, as his cunt begins to take its first fucking. I continue, pulling out nearly all the way before pounding back into him hard. With each thrust, the tears lessen, and the moans grow, and I start to fuck him faster and faster. By the time I get to a comfortably harsh pace he’s not crying at all, but starting to babble out little begging sounds.
Perfect. He is settling into his place, starting to realize that this is what his body was meant for, taking cock, over and over. When he cums, i kiss him deeply, pinching his nipples as a reward. But I don’t stop, instead pounding him into another, when I pull out a vibrator and hold it to his oversensitive cock he starts to cry again. I fuck his hole hard, and long, forcing him from orgasm to orgasm until his pussy isn’t even getting wet anymore, the harsh drag of his dry aching walls making it hard to thrust. When his cock finally stops getting hard, and his sobs have subsided into a half conscious whine I finally pull out.
His formerly tight pink hole now gaping open and flushed red, my cock having pounded him so long his poor cunt couldn’t take it. He looks perfect like this, hole gaping and sore, tongue lolling out of his mouth with half lidded eyes.
I slip a cool glass plug into his worn out cunt, keeping him full and soothing his aching hole, before unchaining him and wrapping him in a soft blanket.
I love breaking in my new toys.
xx
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