#kavinsky writes

[kavinskywrites]

12/24/2021 05:26 PM suffering / headcanon ft. gigi

And I don't wanna hear that you are suffering You are suffering, no more 'Cause I held you down when you were suffering You were suffering

"Bueno mijo, ya no le hablas a Gigi?" Su mama se le quedo mirando, esperando una respuesta. "No...llevamos muchos meses sin hablar." Salma raised an eyebrow at him. "Y eso?" Andreas didn't really feel like explaining himself on Navidad of all days. "Eso es entre ella y yo, jefita." He said simply. the truth? he didn't get along with gigi's partner. the guy was toxic as hell and andreas hated him. but of course, she took his side and banned andre from her life. their last fight had ended in both of them in tears. andre remembered throwing the stuffed frog she'd given him as middle schoolers out of the window of his car. "vete mucho a la verga, georgina." he'd hissed, fingers gripping the steering wheel with so much intensity, he felt like the skin was going to rip. "don't even bother calling me after your rose colored glasses clear up and you realize the bullsh*t you just said to me." she had looked stunned. especially after he threw out the frog. it had been andre's passenger since he had purchased the vehicle. "celoso? la neta te pasas. nomas por que tengo tu mejor interes en mente, ahora soy celoso." andre laughed out loud, pressing harder on the gas. "yo ni en el mundo te hago, mujer." he sneered. "lo que pasa aqui, es que eres mi mejor amiga." he came to a skidding halt outside of her home. he waited for georgi to exit the vehicle before saying, "o quiza debo de decir, lo eras." he didn't want to give her a chance to respond and he sped off. he didn't want her to see the tears that started pouring. she'd already begun to cry and andre was so used to comforting her that he almost wanted to. but this time was different. his feelings being as hurt as they were, he wanted to hurt her instead. he knew she wasn't in the right mind, especially with how her partner treated her. "Mijo...te hablan." Andre snapped out of the memory lane he'd been on. He turned and was face to face with Gigi. "Andreas...I didn't think you'd come to the party." she said. Andre picked up his liquor and let out a sarcastic, bitter laugh. "Believe me, it wasn't my choice." Her careful smile faded and was replaced with something he couldn't describe. "Feliz Navidad, Georgina." he said, putting emphasis on her full name, before walking away from her. Andre knew it would sting, he had only called her Georgina when he was angry. And he'd only been angry once before.

[grendel-menz]

dying's a boring side effect // the dream thieves warm ups

[kazbiter]

very interested in how the storyline of ronan's sexuality is developed in the dream thieves as a battle between kavinsky and gansey while adam is almost never present in these scenes, which makes it even more interesting that we found out in CDTH that ronan was set on adam the moment he saw him. i think that ronan is attracted on some level to both gansey and kavinsky (you can draw the lines of how much romantic intention you think he hold towards either of the yourself, that's a rabbit hole I would need a whole other post to go down) but more so I think he was attracted to the IDEA of both of them and certain qualities that each possessed, and that the real question wasn't does ronan want gansey or kavinsky because we know he wants adam but rather who's qualities resonate more with who ronan is, or who he is choosing to be at this critical moment in his character development. kavinsky is a dangerous thrill and often comes wrapped in ronan's other favorite self destructive attempts to outrun himself, while gansey is ronan's history and proof of his deep capacities for loyalty and love. he tells kavinsky it was never going to be me and you and that it's not going to be ronan and gansey because that was never the question- maggie was obviously always planning on bluesy and pynch. the answer to who ronan WANTS in adam. the question of who ronan IS- that's what he's trying to decide here. his self hatred is such a heavy weight on him and theme in tdt, and the kavinsky/gansey dichotomy represents the the path he will choose to take to deal with it- keep try to drive faster than his demons or accept that he can still be loved even if he isn't the person he once was. the dream thieves my beloved ronan lynch my beloved

[ganseylike]

"it was. i totally was."

+ "why do you steal from us?" / "why do you hate you?"

[adamprrishcycle]

I’m writing an adam & kavinsky friendship kinda fic is that ok??

“Are you gonna kill us?” he asked and afterwards, the look Kavinsky gave him would stay with him forever. It was: how long have we been in each other’s heads, eating each other's thoughts?

In answer, Kavinsky had then rolled all of the windows down and whooped loudly into the night air and Adam had found himself smiling quietly and Kavinsky never looked at him, so he never saw it.

[drowningmoon]

All of the boys I've loved before au where Regulus has written letters to BOTH James Potter and Remus Lupin. The same Remus Lupin btw who is now FINALLY after years of yearning dating his brother. The brother whom Regulus is currently trying to fix his relationship with. So now when the letters get public he have to option but to fake date James Potter who is trying to adjust back to normal after his breakup with Lily Evans

[decladams]

rating: teen and up words: 9328 relationships: richard gansey iii/ronan lynch characters: richard gansey iii, ronan lynch, joseph kavinsky, declan lynch additional tags: vampires, blood, too many dog metaphors, joseph kavinsky is his own warning, monmouth manufacturing, weird homoerotic obsessive relationships summary:

Ronan had known Richard Campbell Gansey III was a vampire.

Declan had told him about it. Said the Ganseys, the whole group of them, were dangerous, untrustworthy, old-money type vampires. A fake family made up of fanged, blood-sucking creatures, the type of thing that most people thought were just fairytales.

He knew he wasn’t supposed to talk to Richard Gansey III, that he was dangerous, that he was a bad idea, but he found himself drawn into the orbit anyway.

happy (early) halloween !! go read my vampire ronsey fic :)

[kenwrites-alot]

writing !!!!

i’ve done a complete rebrand from my other account (@fem-weeb) and have deemed this account for non- anime writing, aka book blurbs, fluff writing, drabble, etc!

list of topics i’ll be writing (ps: i mostly write fem!reader but am open to gn!reader.)

the inheritance games (jameson hawthorne, grayson hawthorne, xander hawthorne, rebecca laughlin)

jenny han universe (peter kavinsky, john ambrose, conrad fisher, minho, cam cameron.)

percy jackson universe (luke castellan, percy jackson, leo valdez)

avatar: the last airbender (zuko, sokka, mako, bolin.)

expect more as well, I may have left some out.

[viscountoflondon]

Que Sera Sera 1.0

A/N: Please do not copy my work, only reblog or like. Tell me what you think, remember I’m sensitive about my shit

GIF: Credit Brunettessource

Warnings: Curse words, alcohol, implied sexual things

You sit by the kitchen watching the group engage in post thanksgiving dinner games, a tradition for your 2 families, Y/L/Ns and the Centineo’s. Ever since Noah and your younger brother became best friends in elementary school they were practically inseparable. So much so that the families had just decided why not throw one big thanksgiving dinner instead of doing the come to our house we’ll host next year thing.

“You okay honey?” Your mom asks

You smile “Yea!”

This would be the first year post your separation with your ex husband. It was strange territory he was your highschool sweetheart and now it sometimes felt like a part of you was missing

“You sure?”

“Yea mom! Just watching Lucas and Noah make asses out of themselves”

“HEY!” Lucas screams “I heard that!” 

You smile “sorry just telling the truth!” 

The night is filled with many events: games, movies, popcorn, second round of thanksgiving dinner, more games, and finally sleep. 

Tomorrow was the Y/L/Ns turn to make breakfast one last big feast before the two families split apart and went their separate ways

You work in the kitchen quietly humming to RnB that played softly in the background

“Morning” you hear Noah’s groggy voice

“Kid?” he groans he hated that nickname “what are you doing up?” 

In a very sleepy tone he asks “The question is what are you doing up? Its 5am and we all went to bed at like 2?” 

You shrug “I am prepping for breakfast if you must know” you answer, you briefly glance at his shirtless body “so what are you doing up?” “Heard some banging had to check on the noise” “I did not bang!” you whisper harshly  “I accidentally dropped the tray sorry for waking you up” 

He nods understandingly “It’s cool, need help?” “Nope! Go back to bed baby boy” 

He groans and throws up the peace sign, too tired to argue with you. You watch as his muscular figure disappears around the corner. 

Unknown: I miss you 

You roll your eyes, the real reason you were up at 5am making breakfast had nothing to do with you prepping but with your ex husband pestering you non-stop. So much that you were losing sleep. You didn’t want to tell anyone that he had started stalking you and you were positive he was standing across the street watching you in the kitchen. At least in the house full of people you felt safe.

Actually the reason you had dropped the pan was because you received the text 

Unknown: You look so beautiful 

It sent shivers down your spine freezing you in spot and ultimately causing you to drop the baking tray. 

You couldn't’ sleep after that expecting him to pop up in your room and ultimately cause harm to you like he had threatened so much. Even the restraining orders weren’t deterring him, you knew how this story ended and you contemplated packing and moving across the country so many times but then you would have to explain why and you just didn’t know how. You were an adult like your father preached. You have to learn to manage your own problems so you are doing your best. 

When morning comes and everyone is happily feeding themselves breakfast or left overs you’re brought back to reality when Noah plops down next to you

“Omg Noah! Almost spilled my coffee!” you complain wiping the droplets of coffee that were rolling down your cup

“Sleep well sleeping beauty?” he asks 

You roll your eyes “fuck off kid”

“Awww, i guess that's a no”  he fake pouts before taking a bite of the bacon

“Honestly kid, what are you doing here?’

“First of all stop calling me kid, and also you were looking like a sad puppy in the corner and your cousin asked me to come check on you” he motions to Lizzie

“I was not” you argue

“You were” he counters

You huff “I’m fine so you can go now”

“Orrrr”

“Or nothing” you were nursing 

“Orrr I can stay here and bug you he grinned showing all his teeth

“Okay whatever” you reach over his plate and grab a piece of bacon 

He pulls his plate away “Hey get your own!” 

You shrug “I cooked i have dibs on everyone’s plate” 

He rolls his eyes “fair enough”

“Y/N did you cut the fruit?” your dad calls to you from the kitchen “Oh yea its in the fridge hold on” you stand up and walk towards the kitchen leaving Noah where he sat

At the end of the weekend both families say their goodbye well Lucas and Noah were on a plane to NYC while the rest of you remained in California.

Noah being a semi famous actor now took Lucas with him everywhere, he gave Lucas the title of assistant manager. They would argue a lot because Lucas was in charge of his schedule and if he had to be in NYC in the morning and Miami by the afternoon thats just what he had to do. You’ve rolled your eyes at the many arguments you had to settle between them offering suggestions for Lucas to be less involved in Noah’s schedule and more involved in the background which of course they refused. Boys what can you say? 

The next holiday is Christmas, something you really used to enjoy but not so much now that you were in this predicament with your ex. 

“Y/N what is going on?” Lucas looks around your home “Are you not decorating for Christmas or what?” he asks as him and his friends occupy your living space

You shrug and look around “Oh I’ve just been busy Lucas didn’t have the energy”

“Wow so you’ve gotten lazy” he teases

You groan “Fuck off Lucas” 

You turn to look and watch as Noah silently observes you, he always did that just watched you from afar. It wasn’t creepy just Noah being Noah. 

“What’s up kid got a smart remark too?” you ask. He throws his hands up. For some odd reason he felt like the reason you provided was an excuse but he didn’t want to push it as he could see the bags under your eyes. He knew from Lucas that the divorce from your ex was taking a toll on you. Lucas had expressed concerns but never really dove into details just saying he wished you would snap out of it and forget all about your ex. 

“I need help with Sarah’s (Lucas girlfriend) gift” the conversation moves on and just like that the mood switches and everything is back to being light and joyful 

Another year, another year filled with you’re hoping this time more joy and spontaneity. You sigh and look down at your phone, it was new years eve 5PM if you were going to have fun you needed to leave now. Because LA traffic was not to be played around with, all that was pending was for it to get darker and that would be it! Grid lock for hours. It kind of sucked no one was available to hang out. Lucas was out of state with Sarah, your cousins were out with their husbands/boyfriends, you weren’t going to third wheel your parents, you didn’t want to go out but you had no choice as your friends had egged you on. Told you you had to get out of the house and live life, as they said,  they knew what was happening they were worried about you but they had lives too.  

You guys go downtown, you dress in your best attire, the best you could muster up anyway. You did a few club hopping until your final destination, the club where “Bitter Moon” an upcoming pop rock band in LA, were playing. 

The space is so packed you can barely move around, you manage to get drinks and sing to the songs from their EP and some of the popular songs they covered with their own spin. 

On your way back from the bathroom, you spot someone that looks like Noah ahead of you and think that it couldn’t possibly be him but decide to call his name anyway “NOAH you scream his name making him turn around 

He smiles when he sees you making his way towards you leaving the circle of friends he was hanging out with.  “HEEYYY, HAPPY NEW YEAR” He gives you a side hug 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE KID?” He rolls his eyes “RIGHT SORRY NOAH” you two had made a deal not too long ago that you would stop calling him ‘kid’

He chuckles leaning down to speak in your ear “I am here for Bitter Moon, my friend plays the drums” 

“Oh cool! Not throwing a party?” you reference last years New Years events

He makes a face “HELL NO!” You giggle, the cops were called, it was a mess too many people had showed up, things were stolen etc etc.

“Where's your crew?” He asks  

“Oh uh”  you stand on your tip toes and shrug after your failure to locate them, “they are around somewhere” you point towards the neon sign “over there” 

He nods drinking his beer

A popular song comes on you lose yourself in the moment singing a long 

“AYYEEE look at you!”  You stop and blush looking away “AYYEEE KEEP GOING!”  he urges

You shake your head vigorously “No it's embarrassing” 

“Why?” he mouths to you singing along as well. You shake your head feeling bashful and turn to face the band. He doesn’t push, instead he bops his head to the beat. 

The song ends and the band takes a 10 minute break 

“I should go back” you speak “girls are probably wondering where I am” you say as you pull out your phone “Oh actually they left, going to the next club ‘Inferno’” you chuckle as you read the group text “so i need to catch up with them” 

“Orrrr” he begins to bargain  “you can stay, with me” he smiles at you

“Oh well i didn't wanna ruin your chances of getting some tonight” He makes a face. You motion with your head and he follows the direction of the group he was with earlier “Those girls are giving me the death glares” 

He scoffs “Fuck them i dont know them!” 

“Still I should really” you step away from him slowly

He grabs your hand pulling you closer “STAY!” he nods excitedly trying to convince you  “you should really stay and get some more drinks! And enjoy your new years!” he speaks with high energy 

“Okay okay okay” 

He pulls his arm towards him “Yesss! what are you drinking?”  

“Uh I was drinking white claw”

“One white claw coming right up don’t move” 

You nod and watch as he walks away you look around and boy if looks could kill they would. You knew Noah was getting more famous so of course the groupies were trying to shoot their shot and it's not like you were of any competition if they only knew you were a family friend. 

He doesn’t stay gone for a long time he returns when the band starts the next set. 

“They only had watermelon, yuzu and blood orange I got you the watermelon couldn’t get your favorite blackberry” 

“Oh that's okay thanks ki...Noah” 

He smirks as he turns to face the band, before you know it you are smooshed up against Noah. You guess its because they let more people in it was nearing midnight after all 

“Oh shit. Sorry” you say as you spill white claw on him “Sorry sorry” you reach in your purse to grab napkins

“Its cool its cool, don’t worry about it” 

“I’ll foot the dry cleaners bill” You offer y

“Will you relax It’s cool” 

“Okay” you turn around slowly and get lost in the music again 

He stands behind you and at some point snakes his arms around your stomach planting you against him so you wouldn’t get shoved around.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen boys and girls, in one minute we will be ringing in the new year and I want you to look to your left look to your right and back to your left find someone to plant a juicy fat kiss for your favorite band BITTTERRR MOOOON” the crowd goes wild you can't help but giggle. 

The minute comes to an end “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Confetti drops from the ceiling along with streamers and glitter 

You blow hard on the noise marker and turn to face Noah “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”  You scream as Auld Lang Syne plays loudly in the background

“Come here”  you read his lips right before they connect with yours (think about tabilb when Peter grabs Lara Jean and kisses her during Lacrosse practice)

“MMM!” It takes you by surprise, he isn't rough with it, in fact he kisses you gently, his arm anchoring you against his body, your hands move to his shoulders slightly pushing him away. It was brief roughly 5 seconds kiss or maybe longer or shorter, your eyes widen when he pulls away 

“Wha.. Wha.. What was that?!” you ask 

He shrugs “New years kiss” taking another sip of his beer 

You shake your head “We shouldn’t have” god if Lucas found out he would kill you “Oh come on its new years!”

You go to take a step back but you can't. Noah dips down for another kiss this time his other hand holds your head in place so no leaning back for you.This time instead of one long kiss its a burst of short interval kisses. And for a brief moment you let yourself get lost in the sensation, so much so when he licks your bottom lip you don’t fight it instead you let him have access to your mouth. Damn his lips are soft, so soft. When he pulls away you find yourself raising up chasing his lips. 

He smirks hiding his smile when you finally open your eyes

“Umm”  you blush tucking the hair behind your ear. What a way to start new years that's for sure. The band continues to play music and you two say nothing else to each other instead this time he rocks your body to the music.After an hour he suggests that you two leave 

“Oh what about your friends?” you ask 

He chuckles “I’ve been with you for the past 3 hours I think they’ll be alright” 

You nod as he grabs your hand pulling you out. You two get in an uber and he gives the driver his address. What was happening? Why did it feel like you were in a movie  watching yourself? When you turn to look at Noah, he sat nonchalantly skimming his social media pages. 

‘What do I do? Am I really gonna hook up with my younger brothers best friend?’ you think to yourself You begin to panic you had to find a way out of this. This wasn’t cool there's a code of ethics right? You couldn’t do this

When you arrive at his place you think to stop things right then and there say you should go home that it was all a mistake but its like your body is on autopilot and instead you follow him towards his door and inside his place. You’ve been here many times but now it felt foreign, too intimate in fact. 

He sighs when he sees your expression, a sort of  deer in headlights “look we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But we are both drunk. My feet hurt and I’m sure yours do too” motioning to your high heels.

You look down and play with your necklace “Right” 

He walks past you and towards the kitchen and looks in the fridge. I got left over pizza, ice cream, frozen corn dogs, fruit salad, some pre-made meals, water kombucha, beer, wine, chips, cookies, salad mix, cheese, and dressing. 

You turn to face him slowly after you text your friends letting them know you were safe

“Oh umm wine please” you slowly walk up to him. 

“Pizza okay?” he was too drunk to wait for the frozen corn dogs to cook in the oven  

“Yea!” You say placing your bag on the counter

“Don’t need to look like you’ve seen a ghost” he chuckles placing the pizza in the toaster oven 

“Sorry” you blush as he turns to face you “just a little” you swallow “taken aback”  

“Come on Y/N you know I’ve had  a crush on you ever since.....shit I can’t even remember” 

“Yea but I thought...” 

He interrupts you “Thought what?”  he straightens up and walks towards you pushing you against the counter, the height difference all of a sudden intimidates you. You who said you could fight him no matter what. 1 on 1 you could take him down.  

You can’t help but feel your face flush “That it was like a highschool thing like you grew out of it” you gesture with your hands

“Well” he clears his throat and cages you in with his arms “I haven’t”  he steps back a little so he could lean on them making you two eye level. “In fact it’s gotten stronger”

Your eyes widen and a meak “oh” escapes your lips 

“So right here right now I’m telling you I want you” he declares  

You go to say something but there are no words that you can find this is all too much.  

He straightens up and looks down at you “What do you say baby?”  he leans in and kisses your lips this time there's no hesitation from you in fact your arms immediately wrap themselves around his neck. He lifts you up placing you on the cool counter it startles you making you pull away you can’t help but giggle 

He chuckles softly “What is it?”  he asks stepping in between your legs 

“I” you giggle “I don’t even know what to say” because what do you say to something like this?!

He pushes the hair away from your face “then show me” 

You smile and pull him down for another kiss this time it's deeper, filled with the same desire he had for you, a deep moan rumbles from him as he pulls you closer, your legs naturally wrapping themselves around him. You two tease each other biting lips pulling hair but neither of you cross that boundary only because the toaster oven dings putting a pause to your make out session. 

Noah quickly removes the slices placing them on a plate

You cover your face in disbelief and chuckle

“What is it? Why do you keep laughing?” he asks amused taking a bite of his pizza 

“Lucas is gonna kill us” 

He shrugs, “Let me deal with him,” he says. 

This was new territory for you, it had been a long time since you were in the company of a man you most certainly didn’t think the next one would be Noah. You both agree you both needed to be sober before you ventured into the next step. However that didn’t stop the heated make out sessions nor the waking up in bed half naked the next day. 

[saywhatjenn]

If Jenny Han’s books/movies/tv shows exist in the same universe, movie Peter Kavinsky and Conrad Fisher could be at Stanford at the same time.

[kavinskywrites]

12/20/2021 11:19 PM tokyo & champagne. andreas x kiko.

broken up. it was a whirlwhind romance, they said. bro, girls like her? you knew it wouldn't last. his friends said to him. andreas isn't good for you. they told her. it was just a summer fling but it replayed in the back of his mind like a movie. the bliss of laying his head on her stomach in the heat of summer, water splashing them both. kisses mixed with sand. mimosas and chocolate filled croissants. the way she spoke french to him in the mornings and he'd reply in spanish. sometimes they knew what they other meant but somehow they understood. it was a mixture of just knowing and feeling. but now it was december, everything was cold. including the empty space in his passenger seat that once held kiko's laughing face. the memories of them dancing to their mixed playlist haunted his night drives. especially when 'tokyo' would come on and andreas said he dedicated it to her. "that's so racist andre." he had said sorry but still wanted to sing the song to her because it was true. now, more than ever. por que me la paso pensando en ti. the place where she was having her event was lavish and decorated to the nines. very her. was andre invited? absolutely not. yet, he still went through the front door without a problem. his demon was quite the charmer when it was activated. the moment he entered the room, his eyes scanned for her. he was late and she already had glittery champagne in her glass. would she even listen to him? the doubt crept into him. she'd seemed very into this lawyer guy on her instagram that he no longer followed but still looked at. andre found a glass of something bubbly and alcoholic himself and started sipping on all of it. kiko was hard to come by with no one else around her. these flashes of her hands on his neck, her arm wrapped around his. except now he was seeing it in person as she did these things with someone else. andre couldn't even feel jealousy, it was more rage. "you really messed up losing that one." the demon whispered to him. andre shrugged him off. "ya." he'd forgotten his entire mission and was now too many shots into the night. it was 2:59 am and he'd somehow ended up sitting directly across from kiko. "te hace feliz?" he asks her. they're both full of substance and emotions. he can read her face and she can feel his body language. "answer me." her lips did not move but her eyes told him stories. he moved in to be directly in front of her. face to face. he could taste strawberry champagne on her breath. it took everything in him to not inhale the scent of her perfume. "your silence tells me everything i need to know, really." he smirks. the disgust he receives in response makes him panic. desperate hands reach for her face but she shoves him away. they fall into her lap. andre found a moment of sobriety where his words were able to flow without stupor in that desperation. he felt her slipping and he focused to say what he needed to. "i don't care how many years pass, kiko. you and i both know that part of you belongs to me as i to you." he pulled her towards him once more. "hey, you end up with me."

[cultfic]

fist finds the bottom of his tux pocket, usual garment suddenly almost foreign and a little large but it's a welcomed change from the bright orange he's been forced into for the past three to six months. he regrets the lack of shades in his breast pocket, if only to cover the bruising still coloring his cheek but if he's fine with anyone seeing him like this, it's rusty. danny's squinting against the hard, blazing sun as he makes for the car he recognizes in an instant, trademark grin pulling casually on stubbled cheeks. he takes out a smoke, offers the open pack and lets the moment drag on, a glance exchanged bearing more meaning than words ever could; a silent thank you for picking me up, for once. ❝  not saying there'll be a next time because there won't, but on the off chance that there was, skip the cookies and send me a cake with a nail file, will ya?  ❞

sc. @muutos

[kazbiter]

kavinsky's death is actually the closing arc in a great tragedy to me bc his actions throughout the story are mostly just him practically begging for someone to be on his side, to care about him, to even just look at him. his father tried to kill him, his mother is completely uninterested. he can dream himself as many people as he wants, but they will only ever think of him because he made them to do so. the dream pack are just physical manifestations of his desire to not be alone in the world, to have someone, anyone, connected to him. he so desperately tries to draw some sort of emotion out of ronan, good bad or ugly, because the intense similarities they share mean that he's the only person who might be willing to look long enough to see him. and when it doesn't work, when he realizes it can't, that this world is not for him and he is not going to be a part of it in a way that involves anyone else, he decides that everyone is going to look at least this once. they will all see the finale if nothing else. genuinely doomed from the start. and how truly devastating that is in comparison to the core group the story focuses on, characters that even at their lowest and darkest and meanest and absolute worst have others there with them. characters that always have someone looking for them. dying is a boring side of a life that has nothing inside of it.

[boringsideeffect]

[potionboy3]

alexej kavinsky & lunas avery | ww1 era

this duo was so much fun to draw! no i'm not obsessed.

lunas belongs to the lovely @cursed-herbalist ❤️ (about a time i draw one of yours!)

[piesafterdark]

Chapter 3 pt. 1 of my XO, Kitty fic From new york, with love.

“You can’t come in.”

Under the streetlamps, people wandered about, clinging to friends and filling the streets with chatter. Aromas spilled out from restaurants’ doors and windows and into the snow, causing Kitty’s stomach to gurgle. A few doors down, a large group of women hooted and hollered as they stumbled into a bar.

“What do you mean we can’t come in? I just saw a guy on the street walk over and you let him in,” Kitty countered. 

Peter didn’t say anything, he knew her well enough to not interrupt.

“He knows part of the cast,” the bouncer stated. His shirt was stretched tight over his muscled chest but Kitty was not deterred.

“I know part of the cast—Lara-Jean Covey? She’s the assistant writer. We’re bringing refreshments.” Kitty pointed towards the cupholder in Peter’s hands.

“The cast and crew are provided refreshments.” 

“Yeah, that makes sense. But–” Kitty paused, searching for the right words. After a moment she began again. “Listen, I know you have a job, and I understand that, but it's almost Christmas and I haven’t seen my sister in like a year, so if you could please just let me see her for a minute I’d really appreciate that.”

He was lucky that she didn’t barge in through those doors to see her sister. After so much had gone wrong, she deserved something to go right, to have some light at the end of this endless tunnel.

“I can’t let you in. They’re about to start filming.”

“At eight p.m?” she deadpanned. 

“That’s fine, we can wait,” Peter interjected, “we’ll get out of your hair.”

The guy didn’t even have hair. 

The windows on the restaurant’s red brick face were lined with Christmas lights, tinting the glass with swathes of green and red while a Christmas tree inside blocked her view with its festive shimmer. 

Kitty sighed and allowed Peter to guide her away from the threshold. Just as she whipped out her phone to send Lara Jean a barrage of texts, the door opened with a jingle. 

On instinct, her head swiveled, eager to find her opening. If she was quick, she could duck past the bouncer before he had the chance to react. She could worm herself in, sprint across the set and urge Lara Jean to come home before he inevitably caught her. At least she would have tried. She just hoped this escapade would end differently than last time’s, which almost landed her with a criminal record.

Kitty halted before she could even try to move, wondering why it was Min Ho pushing the door open. 

He wore the same Gucci shirt he’d wore when they first met in the airport and held a hand by his head to protect his bangs from the wind. His skin glowed, dewier and clearer than ever, unhindered by stress or by her. She was pummeled—like an eighteen-wheeler slamming into her stomach—by just how much she missed mooching off of his skincare.

The snow crunched as he began to walk away, unbothered by her presence. Maybe he just didn’t see her? Or maybe it wasn’t Min Ho, just someone identical to him with a similar taste in fashion.

She wetted her suddenly chapped lips. “Min Ho?”

He stopped dead in his tracks. His head swiveled towards her and she was greeted with a confused, then shocked face. 

“Kitty?”

It was him. She’d recognize that face anywhere.

With cheeks flushed from the cold and bangs finally free to wave in the wind, he almost looked alluring. Almost. In comparison—with the wind, her bad mood, and the jetlag—she probably looked like a rat who had just drowned in the sewer.

Her hands slid over her sweatpants, suddenly conscious of her outfit. The jacket she wore was thick and shapeless, stolen from Lara Jean’s closet years ago. The shirt underneath was from her school’s drama department and was wrinkled from sleeping on the plane.

He should’ve been in Los Angeles, sprawled on a mountain of gifts while preparing for another semester at KISS. Or traveling across Europe, tasting cheeses and staying in hotels she’d only seen in Instagram pictures. Or at some tropical locale, a girl on each arm, spending little more than a second trying to forget her.  

“Do you two know each other?” the bouncer asked. His eyes flicked between them and his forehead creased with worry.

Min Ho answered “no” as she said “yes.” She glared at him. He glared back before realization flashed in his eyes and his gaze darted away. 

A lifetime ago, he’d told her that he loved her, and the memory still hung between them. But he was Min Ho, who had dated Madison for the only reason anybody dated Madison: long legs. Min Ho, who had always been staunchly anti-Kitty, who only helped her out of obligation, who only talked to her to add fuel to their feud. He was Min Ho. He should’ve been over it by now.

“We have two guests at the front,” the Bouncer said into his walkie-talkie,“knows Dami’s kid. Says she knows a ‘Lauren Jean Covey.’”

“Lara-Jean,” Peter corrected.

Peter. 

Kitty swung around to see Peter flashing the bouncer one of his best smiles. Out of the corner of his eye, he sent her a look that reeked of we’ll talk about this later and just wait until LJ hears about this.

“I’m sorry but I can’t let you in, they’re shooting,” the bouncer said, clipping his walkie-talkie onto his breast pocket. Where he had been brazenly uncaring, he now seemed apologetic.  “They’ll be done in thirty.”

“Thirty?!” Kitty exclaimed, aghast, just as Peter replied with an “okay, we’ll be back by then.”

The purposeful raise of his eyebrows made her sigh in resignation and turn back to her company.

Min Ho stood awkwardly in the corner of her eye, glancing everywhere but her. He tried to arrange himself in a way that communicated confidence, yet he just looked like a block tower shifting under childish hands. Everytime he awkwardly crossed and uncrossed his arms, everytime he examined his nails instead of her, her stomach squeezed. 

“Well,” Min Ho began, putting on an air of arrogance, “as fun as this little reunion has been. I have better places to be. Ta-ta, Kitty and friends.” With his final word, he made eye contact for a single, itchy moment. 

“The shoot ends in thirty minutes, but you're leaving without your mom?” Kitty wondered aloud, slowing her speech. “That’s cold, Min Ho.” She scrunched her eyebrows together for effect.

“She’s a big girl, she can take care of herself.” He crossed his arms and leaned back, sending a rush up her spine. The familiarity was stifling.

Behind her, Kitty heard the crunch of snow and Genevieve’s voice.

“What’s taking so long? Who’s this guy?” Genevieve murmured in Peter’s ear. Ugh.

“A classmate, I think,” Peter responded.

An idea clicked into place. 

“Listen, Min Ho, we’re both waiting for somebody and Peter”—she pointed to Peter— “knows a place with great cupcakes. All I’m saying is that we could wait together. We don’t even need to talk,” Kitty promised. She crossed her fingers in her heart.

Min Ho snorted. 

Snow fell around them, glowing red, yellow, and green from the Christmas lights. Chatter continued to fill the streets as the aroma of dinner wafted out of neighboring restaurants. Min Ho’s cheeks remained pink from the blistering wind, his hair now tousled with a mysterious boyish quality.

 Kitty’s heart pounded all around her: in the rhythm of the falling snow, in the cadence of a stranger’s speech, in the surety that the world would revolve around what to him was a slight, meaningless decision.

“Okay,” Min Ho finally said, still looking unsure.

“Great! Let’s go,” Kitty smiled, reveling in the lightness in her chest. The bouncer sighed in relief behind her.

Kitty just hoped that Peter actually knew a good bakery nearby.