#keeping track of the budget and whatever receipts you have

[carpe-mamilia]

What fabulous feedback from your tutors! Well done on completing your course and good luck with whatever comes next x

Thank you very much ❤ It's been a packed term (the end of two packed years) and a lot of hard work but also so much joy. And absolutely no-one asked for this (😂) but this is the last show I worked on as Costume Supervisor, my baby Catastrophe Bay, and I'm very proud of it. Click for full size versions:

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Do you have any advice for people who are just starting to live independently?

The first and most important thing you can do is get comfortable with your own company. Whether you're living alone or with people, you need to be okay being on your own. This is hard. It took me years to get to the point where I could be alone without listening to music or an audiobook to drown out my thoughts. Therapy helped. Growing up helped. You have to learn to love yourself.

Figure out a budget. I like to use spreadsheets, but do whatever works for you. Know what your income is, and keep track of what you spend to make sure that you're not getting yourself into trouble. When the cashier asks if you want a receipt, say yes. Enter that into your preferred budget tracking system.

On a related note, get a credit card. Use it like a debit card. Do not get sucked in by the false promise of money that does not exist. At some point in your life, you will need to have a credit score (at least in the US). Maybe you want to buy a car or a house. You need to start building that credit now. Get a credit card with a smaller local bank/credit union (less likely to take advantage of you) and ONLY spend the money that you have in your bank account. You can set it up to automatically pay the bill every month. Pay your bills on time, and try try try to pay the full amount each time. Interest is a bitch.

Make time for yourself. It's easy to get caught up in work, especially if you're new to being financially independent. Make sure that you are still deliberately scheduling time to take care of yourself and do things you enjoy.

Do errands before they become emergencies. This applies from everything from doctors appointments and picking up prescriptions to getting groceries. Dealing with emergencies is stressful, and you can cut down on that stress by doing your best to be prepared.

Take a deep breath. Yes, it will be hard, but you've got this.

-Reid

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

Please explain how to write out a personal ledger like I’m 5 (my budget is getting tighter and I always pay my bills before any other spending but I’m tired of passively spending and wondering where 50 bucks went at the end of the month)

OK

I have a five year old and if I explained this to you like you were five it would not be useful to you in your mid twenties

I do mine on the computer, I have a file in Microsoft Excel because I have Excel, but any spreadsheet program would work I'm sure, you could probably use Google sheets or whatever it’s called

warning: if you follow this method you will know how you spend your money

So what I do is this

I have a sheet set up as follows:

Column A is "Date," which is the date I spent the money

Column B is "Date Posted," which is the date the transaction actually clears my bank

Column C is "Amount," or the amount spent/moved/deposited. This will be a positive or negative number depending on whether you are adding or subtracting money from the account

Column D is "Category," which is very important for making this data useful for a budget. Categories will probably be subjective but the ones that I mainly use are:

Bill - this is for a regular monthly expense necessary to live, like car insurance, electricity, the mortgage, phone, etc.

Debt - this is for money I flush down the toilet. I used to have a separate category for "Medical Debt" but now it's all just Debt. Credit card payments and student loans. And medical debt.

Gas - when I buy gasoline it gets its own category

Groceries - as the name implies this is when I buy food from a grocery store, as distinct from:

Takeout - this is when I eat out, have delivery, fast food, etc., unhealthy sodium-saturated food prepared by someone else for immediate consumption

Misc - this is the useless category in which all other spending is absorbed, including my irresponsible purchases.

I also have the following categories:

Deposit - for when money goes in

Transfer - for when money is moved to or from another account

Withdrawal - for when I remove cash

Obviously you could have other categories for expenses you want to track more closely. Clothing might warrant its own category, or books, or snacks, which are sort of between takeout and groceries, or whatever.

Column E is "Location," which is where I spent the money. I usually try to write this how it appears on my ledger, which is not always where I remember physically spending it. For example, my wife's Old Navy card shows up as Barclay Card on the ledger, which has been the object of much confusion, leading to

Column F is "Notes," where I elaborate when Column E doesn't make very much sense. What is Barclay Card? Oh, the Old Navy card.

One place in which Columns E and F work together most regularly is on paydays, when E gives the name of the employer and F gives whose payday it is.

Column G just says "Balance," which I leave in cell G1 permanently, and then Column H / cell H1 is a running balance, which you can see above I let Excel calculate using a simple formula that takes the sum of all additions and subtractions in column C

Now, these features might be exclusive to Excel but I'm sure you could find equivalents in other spreadsheet programs. I have Row 1 / Top Row "Frozen" so that I can always see the column names and the balance as I scroll down. I also have columns A through F set to "filter," which is why they have the little drop-down arrow on the right-hand side, and this, as the name implies, lets me filter. So if you want to look at a specific category, or specific place, or something. I most often use this to filter out all but the current month in Column A, and to keep my transactions in the right chronological order.

Once its set up, and this is the painful part, you need to keep track of every single penny you spend. You can do this in the old-school way by keeping receipts or if you have online banking and they're pretty on top of things you can look at your bank ledger at the end of the day and add the day's transactions then. But if you let it sit more than a day or two you will have unpleasantness and it will only get worse the longer it sits. This is where having a Date and Date Posted column comes into play. There are some bills I have that take several days to post. My mortgage for example, which is my largest single bill, takes about four days to clear. My wife's student loans, the second largest bill, take about a week to go through. So I put those on my ledger the day I submit the payment and then they show up in the bank ledger a few days later and I note that as well. PayPal transactions also tend to take several days to go through. The other reason having a Date and a Date Posted column is nice is when you have to self-audit because there's a discrepancy between your balance and the bank’s, you can use the sort/filter function to sort your transactions by the date posted which makes it easier to compare your ledger to your bank.

The other thing I do is I have a little portion of the spreadsheet off to the side where I keep all of my fixed bills and their due dates and keep track of when I pay them in a month. The Unpaid / Paid cells at the top are so I can copy and paste the format of those cells as the month goes on. As the months go on I have to cut and paste this to keep it close to the end of the ledger. You don't really need to have this but I do, it helps me decide which paycheck pays which bills and when every month.

The other thing is I have a different sheet for every year, because I don't want a spreadsheet with 10,000+ rows. You could have a different sheet for every month or whatever, I don't know. I did it by year.

If you keep on top of this you will know better than your bank how much money you have at all times.

[talenlee]

I Missed My Notebook

I have been bullet journaling now for several years. Longer, I think, than I’ve been doing daily blog posts – the blog posts were facilitated in part through a dedication to using a physical journal to record my daily efforts writing. Late last year, I also picked up a very cheap, not very good sketch pad, which I have been using to also do some sketching, separated from anything ‘important’ that I may want to reference later.

At the time I wrote my pledge in the front of the book: Nothing has to be any good. It’s true. I’m going to spend a lot of my time going forward making things for no purpose but for enjoying the making. I write because I want to write, I draw because I want to draw. Audiences are beautiful and validating and rewarding, I love you so much.

But I also have to act, sometimes like you’re not there.

I’m going to show you some sketches from my book, because they’re not very good and you should see that. You should be able to see how when I hand-draw something, even as someone who does a lot of graphic design work for computer art and games and stuff like that, my drawing looks pretty bad. I’m not practiced, I’m not familiar. Things I do I don’t do very well, and part of that is because I don’t do it enough.

My bullet journal isn’t for public consumption. Sometimes there are things in there that are private, other people’s problems, things I need to keep track of because I’m concerned about someone’s surgery or their emotional wellbeing or their breakup or their need for information recorded for the police. I’m very proud of how I lay it out – it’s a simple, utilitarian layout structure I use for most weeks and I use specialised modules for specific tasks when I need them. I save stickers in it, and calendar pages, and receipts and even some game prototypes.

Mostly, though, it tracks my weeks, any incident that happened, or things that need doing, on any given day, what I made for dinner or lunch if that’s important at the time, and if the dog got walked.

I imagined at the end of 2023 I’d open up my journal and check how many times the dog got walked, what were his longest stretches without a dog walk, how often it was me, how often it was Fox, how often it was both of us, and how often he got rained out versus us being too tired to do it. I thought I’d collate that data, but I wound up deciding not to.

It feels meanspirited, and I know that Elli gets walked most days. Some days he doesn’t. Tracking whether or not he did was really important during 2020 when the days melted together. Tracking it now runs the risk of making it feel like I’m looking across at my partner who shouldn’t be walking out late at night if the air’s too cold and going well, I walked him this many times.

It’s not how it works. Elli wants to go walkies any time he can, we want to walk him when we can, you know how it is. He’s a dog. Not that I’m asking for absolution on my dog walking scheduler. What I am thinking about is the stuff I use my bullet journal to do. This week as I write this – waaay back in the 10th – I got my Bullet Journal for 2024. This book will probably last me the year. It’ll be useful for things like my pay schedule, word counts, proof of when I did things so I can check back on people who think I didn’t do them, budget, and a lot of game design, yes.

I didn’t have it for nine days of the year. Today, I sat down and opened up my new book, and started to write in it.

First I cut out some pages from the front. I found a point in the middle where nobody would care and cut some pages out there, too, to make rulers for the rest of the year. I don’t like measuring out the spreads I use every week, and the pages on this one are subtly not perfectly lined up, so a ruler made of the book’s own dots is useful. I got rid of some pages about How To Use A Bullet Journal because yeah whatever. And I wrote my title page.

Then I put some stickers on it, from my kickstarter copy of Flamecraft.

I went back through the two weeks of the year so far, filling in dates for January, making space for things. I took notes about things that happened on each day, based on my discord history, based on things I could remember. These days we dogsat, these days I did the shopping, this day we had pizza, things like that. It was calming and meditative and felt very relaxing and chill.

More than the actual process being enjoyable, though, I notice most potently afterwards that I missed knowing I had a journal to work on. I missed the idea that I could grab a notepad and do some notes in it and know they’d be there when I wanted to find them again. Having no bullet journal was a sad thing, regardless of whether or not I used the bullet journal at any given moment. Filling in a month spread is mildly bothersome. Measuring the spaces for possible spreads – I thought about maybe writing up a list of everything I watched or how often I got an early night throughout the year – was annoying.

Oh and no, I am not getting an early night right now, oops.

The journal is a process, it’s a task, it’s reference material and it’s on hand. It’s a way I can augment my memory and it’s a way I can use all these lovely things that are part of my life. Stickers do not live in drawers, for me, they get to dance on my pages. I get to parcel out my washi tapes and make little markers of days and months for later reference. I was feeling Teen Girl Squad that day, was I?

When I was done with this writeup, I sat down, pulled out my other, cheap, crappy notebook and drew for a bit. I drew three pictures, you can see them. Two are simple and fine. One is trying to be more complicated and just gets absolutely lost. I hated the face the second I tried to put it in place – what I’d been aiming for in my mind was a look of concern, of fear at being spotted, putting up a hand and backing off. It looks like a very smug, annoyed face to me now. And I will get better with practice as I look at what I did and keep trying to do better.

No moral, no lesson, no great message for you. An insight into me, and some of my art, that isn’t very good. A reminder that it’s all processes, it’s all practices. Don’t feel bad about not being the best, yet.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[ikeepbookkeeping]

4 Top Benefits of Hiring a Virtual Bookkeeper

For small businesses and start-ups looking to limit their overhead, outsourcing their accounting and bookkeeping tasks makes business sense. They have the option to hire an onsite or virtual bookkeeper to perform these time-consuming yet essential responsibilities. While some SMEs feel more comfortable working with a part-time bookkeeper onsite, more and more businesses are turning to virtual bookkeepers because of the benefits they offer. So, if you’re thinking of outsourcing work to a virtual bookkeeper, you’re on the right track.

Functions of a Virtual Bookkeeper

Although a virtual bookkeeper is essentially an independent contractor working online or remotely, they can help you stay on top of your accounting and bookkeeping needs just like an onsite employee.

They are usually well-versed with QuickBooks, Peachtree, Xero and other accounting software and can perform the following functions:

Account servicing

Accounts reconciliation

Balance sheet management

Bank and credit reconciliation

Budgeting

Cash flow projection

Daily petty cash management

Implementing record-keeping and accounting     procedures

Inventory management

Maintaining accounts

Maintaining cash flow

Payroll processing

Report creation

Revenue and expenditure management

Sales and purchase order management

Trial balance maintenance

Year-end accounting

Reasons to Hire a Virtual Bookkeeper Hiring a virtual bookkeeper comes with several benefits, including the following four:

1. A fixed monthly retainer for no surprises

One of the biggest perks of getting a virtual bookkeeper to perform accounting and bookkeeping tasks is that you don’t need to worry about a surprise costs. benefits and the equipment that a regular employee is entitled to. All you have to do is hire a virtual bookkeeper.

2. Free up more of your time for important tasks

Even if you have an accounting background, it could be difficult to manage your business and keep track of your business finances, too. By hiring a virtual bookkeeper, you’ll have more time to devote to other important tasks, such as strategising, marketing or getting more investors.

3. Stay on top of payments and collections

By giving your virtual bookkeeper access to your accounts and invoices, and records of creditors and suppliers, they can check, update and follow up payments. They can also track receipts, note accounts payables and receivables, balance your accounts and give you an accurate picture of your cash flow.

4. Monitor your KPIs

Whatever your type of business, it’s essential to know your company’s financial standing. You need three major reports to determine this: cash flow statement, income statement and cash disbursement schedule. With a virtual bookkeeper’s help, monitoring your business’s KPIs becomes so much easier. So, are you ready to hire a virtual bookkeeper? Remember, getting a virtual bookkeeper on board is a highly cost-effective way of managing your business finances minus the expenses of hiring a full-time accounting professional.

[atriumatsunnyatlantic]

Top Tips to Help You Manage Your Wedding

If you are reading this article, you have done the hard work of staying in a serious relationship and are probably past the proposal stage. The one thing left for you to do is plan your wedding. Shouldn't it be that hard, right? Honestly, it is.

A wedding is about more than just the glam and generally takes months of planning, especially if you want a big wedding. Running around dealing with venues and vendors can be stressful. It will get even worse if you don't get the help of a professional wedding planner.

If you have decided to tackle the mantle of your wedding by yourself, stay ready for the long and tiring days ahead of you. Having a few family members and close friends help you can make things a lot easier. Let's look at our top tips to help you manage your wedding efficiently.

Write Down Everything

It would help if you always took a wedding as a puzzle. Once you start creating the wedding of your dreams, everything matters. All the small details coming together help make your wedding so special. So, ensure you write down everything from minor details to the most significant plans.

Whatever you plan on doing, you must write it down, be it the décor or potential wedding venues in Long Island. You can later use these notes as your checklist. You can also ask your friends to remind you of anything you might be forgetting.

Make sure you schedule meetings with florists, vendors, etc., and keep track of all your expenses by attaching your receipts. All these things will help you bring your dream wedding together and keep you accountable after the day ends.

Utilize All Resources to the Max

The beauty of planning a wedding is that it's like a food chain. All departments depend on other departments to flourish. You will often find that your décor planner knows an excellent music band or a pastry chef. These people have been part of several weddings and have an almost endless contact list. They can even help you find unique event spaces perfect for your budget.

It generally requires you to find a reliable person who can help you link with other dependable people. Finding high-quality vendors will save you a lot of effort and time.

Take Care Of Your Guests.

We understand that it's your and your partner's day, but you must remember that you have invited people to come together and celebrate this day. They have also taken the time to share their day with you. as you work on making your wedding all about you and your significant other, remember to stay considerate of your guest's needs. For instance, send your invitation early so your family and friends can plan accordingly. Since it's your wedding, you must ensure all your guests have a good, comfortable time.

As long as you pay attention to these three tips, you can easily manage your wedding while ensuring that it's an experience of a lifetime for you and your guests.

[sellyourgadget1]

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[9tzuyu]

four months.

note: hiiiii! just trying to get into the groove again. i dont know what this is. the original prompt is below, however it did not turn out that way?¿ its kind of a mess, but fluffy i suppose. i hope you enjoy :>.

using my own experience so don’t think i hate poor people because i am those people </3

(also chapter 4 of children of tragedy will be out soon, i promise. ive just had awful writers block.)

+ thank you moli for proofreading so i dont have to. i love you.

warnings: none?

prompt: * reader used to be poor and stuff and w/n is like “you know you don’t have to get the cheapest things” and R covers it up and says “oh this is the brand i like, but w/n discovers hidden receipts and asks why they have a bunch of useless receipt and R is like “i was just tracking how much we spend....”

🏷 @natasha-danvers @midnight-lestrange @whatiziz @kermy48 @mycosmicparadise @peggycarter-steverogers @blackxwidowsxwife (lmk if you want off the tag list because ik i dont post as regularly as other writers, so im just going with people who have told me they want to be on my tag list in the past)

and lastly, for my baby @nermalina. its not really your genre per se [ i have a smut fic that i’ll dt you on ;)] however, accept this as a form of love.

it wasn’t so much that you were homeless and out on the streets, but you weren’t necessarily well off either. working as a waitress only got you far enough to pay your monthly rent and gas. somehow you managed to squeeze in a list of groceries.

every penny counted, you didn’t have room for mishaps or sick days. thats why you kept your budget small and a stash full of receipts on the kitchen bar.

natasha didn’t know about any of this though. you were sure she’d have you by the neck if she found out how long you’d been keeping your secret.

the redhead was generous, and no matter how many times you offered to pay for something she would never even dream of letting you. natasha insisted on it, and you were powerless to stop her.

it wasn’t until you tagged along with her on a trip to the grocery store when things began to unravel. she only needed a few things, nothing important.

but nat was quick to pick up on the fact that you continuously flipped every little thing you picked up to look at the price tag.

“here, it’s the cheapest one i could find.” you said, smiling as you handed her a cardboard box of pasta. natasha hummed, “you know you don’t have to get me the cheapest thing on the shelf.”

you bit your lip, eyes suddenly looking back at the shelf of different pasta boxes. “i know... it’s just- it’s my favorite brand.” natasha automatically knew you were lying by the way you began chewing on the inside of your lip.

she narrowed her eyes. “no it’s not.”

“huh?”

“you got this brand because it was the cheapest. you know i can afford more, which leads me to believe you do this out of habit.”

you shuffled uncomfortably under her gaze. “no, i just really like that brand.”

the sudden realization that she had never been to your place struck her.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“why don’t we go back to your apartment after this? we can just relax, watch a movie, do whatever you want.”

a mix of guilt and shame flooded your body. but damned if you didn’t still give it a try.

“my apartment’s a mess right now, you don’t want to see that.” you tried, offering a small, dry laugh in hopes of getting her off your back.

“you’re a terrible liar.”

“i’m not-”

“i picked you up from the park today, just like every other day. i’ve not once picked you up from your own apartment, so what are you hiding?”

when you didn’t give an answer, she tossed the cheapest box of pasta in her cart and walked away. you groaned as you watched natasha leave before catching up to her.

“okay, okay, we can go back to my apartment. just don’t judge me, alright?”

she smiled softly, “it wouldn’t even cross my mind.”

soon enough you began helping your girlfriend load her car with bags full of miscellaneous items. nothing needed to be refrigerated, so if natasha wanted to, she could stay at your apartment all day.

your leg bounced in the car as you gave her directions. but soon enough, after what felt like the longest fifteen minutes of your life, natasha pulled into a parking space right outside your door.

you silently cursed yourself for not renting a spot upstairs. at least then it would’ve prolonged the situation just a little bit longer.

natasha watched as you fumbled with your keys, your hands visibly shaking.

“fuck.” you mumbled after hearing the clank of metal hit the ground. you bent down to pick them up but natasha beat you to it.

“which key?” her voice was soft.

“the yellow one.”

the door swung open and you motioned for natasha to go before you.

it wasn’t bad, really. apart from the chipped brown walls, the lingering smell of cigarette smoke (you hated your neighbors for that), the broken windows, lack of space and furniture that was as good as the floor.

natasha noticed the windows first, a sense of protectiveness overpowering her. she didn’t like that you weren’t safe.

you went to offer her a water bottle, but she wasn’t paying attention. instead, she noticed the lack of food in your fridge, frowning when you tried to cover it up.

another few minutes of her silence went by and you couldn’t take it anymore.

“look, i know you’re rich. i know you like to have luxury brands and that you don’t have to worry about whether or not someone will break in and steal what little you have left. but that doesn’t give you any right to judge me. i’m sorry i don’t live up to your expectations.”

natasha licked her lips and leaned her back against the kitchen counter.

“how long have you lived like this?”

her question caught you off guard, but you managed to find an answer.

“i’ve always lived like this, nat.”

she nodded solemnly before abruptly turning around to look at what was inside your cabinets.

“what are you do-”

“you have no food.”

you sighed, “well yeah, i can’t really afford it.”

“and the receipts?”

natasha was met with a shrug. “have to keep track of everything somehow.”

she stared at you a minute longer before finding the exact words she wanted to say.

“i would never judge you, or anyone for that matter, on their living situation. i know people don’t always have a say in what or why things happen.” she paused. “but i don’t like knowing you go to sleep every night with broken windows practically inviting anyone to come in and intrude. i don’t like knowing all you have to eat is bread, canned fruit and grilled cheese sandwiches.”

you listened to her ramble on, still nervous about the fact that this was new to her.

“so come live with me.”

“natasha-”

“come live with me.”

you immediately shook your head. “no, no, no. nat don’t even-”

“i’m serious. you won't win this argument, y/n. let me take care of you. i don't mind picking you up and dragging you out of here myself if that’s what it takes.”

a sigh left your lips as you folded your arms across your chest. “natasha, i can’t have you do that. i’m okay, i promise.”

the redhead raised her eyebrow. “how many times have you gone to bed hungry? or let your car run on fumes for as long as you could? and how many times have you gone to work sick because you can’t afford to miss one single day?”

when natasha was met with no reply she moved closer to you, wrapping her arms around your waist, pulling you into her embrace.

“i know it’s only been four months but i don’t think i could ever forgive myself if something happened to you and i didn’t do enough to stop it.”

she kissed the side of your head, “let me take care of you.”

[sk-lumen]

How to Get (and Keep) Your Life Together 101

Here’s a quick masterlist of all the tips, hacks and advice that stuck with me from reading so many articles, videos and research. Feel free to ask me any questions, or add tips of your own. 💜

Hydration: Make sure every day you stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water, green tea, black tea. You see this everywhere but it’s true. Just drinking water wil do wonders for your skin and your overall body health.

Nutrition: Maintain a healthy diet by letting go of toxic “restrictive” diet culture and realizing that food is sacred fuel for your sacred body, so offer your body the best! Eat lots of vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds; lots of wholefoods. Incorporate smoothies into your mornings for extra dose of vitamins. Practice mindful, conscious eating, be there in the moment when you are eating, taste the food, enjoy the experience of it. Meditate over your relationship with food and try to work through any unhealthy beliefs.

Exercise: Pick one or multiple forms of exercise that suits your schedule, lifestyle and personality; whether it’s jogging twice a week, going to the gym daily or even just a fresh walk every evening. Pick what is suitable for YOU and keep it part of your life. DYI your own gym routine or hire a trainer; train at home or in the gym; whatever works best for you.

Growth Mindset: Maintain a positive mindset that is always open and curious to learning new things, trying new skills and ever willing to improve itself. Redirect your attention from drama, gossip and toxic comparison beliefs to healthy ones; unfollow accounts online or delete all your social media if that’s what you need. Recreate yourself if that’s what you want. Focus on YOUR growth! Make a habit of reading new books, watching TedTalks, documentaries, etc. Look at educating yourself as a way to invest in yourself, a way to honor yourself. Maintain curiosity in your heart for the ways of the universe. Stay humble and graceful in the face of adversity, but never give up on your dreams, failed attempts are only lessons for improvement and the only true failure is giving up. As long as you keep going you’re still winning. Bonus tip: comparison is self harm, and a denial of your own power; so remember that nobody can be you and that’s a good thing. You can only be you, so make it count and honor yourself!

Relationships: Don’t cling to relationships and don’t be afraid to lose people. Be your authentic self at all times, and do not be afraid to intimidate people or be too much! Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter. Know that the friends/partners that are meant for you, will stay or will find their way back to you. Be mindful of the dynamic in a relationship, and be self-loving enough to walk away from what is toxic, unhealthy, restrictive, disrespectful, etc. Forgive those that wronged you, but tolerate no mistreatment; you can forgive them from afar, but make sure they’re no longer a part of your life.

Focus & Goals: Keep a journal and as frequently as you can, write down bullet lists of to do lists, goals, dreams, daily reflections, aspects of yourself to improve upon, positive affirmations, wishlist etc. - in other words, brainstorm all the things whirling around in your head regarding your own life. Remember all those things you’ve wanted to do? Bucketlists, reminders, curiosities, etc? Keeping a journal, staying focused on your goals, checking progress and practicing positive affirmations will transform your life.

Fashion: Elevate your wardrobe to a whole other level by sitting down and figuring out what your style actually is. Play around in your journal by creating a collage of your favorite colors, textures, patterns, styles, outfit combos and accessories. Mix and match, figure out what your aesthetic is. Refine, polish, remove what doesn’t click. (You can find a bunch of videos on YT for organizing clothes and being effortlessly fashionable/put together.) When you reorganize your wardrobe according to the above, you can easily mix and match anything because your wardrobe makes sense and it’s already planned out. Bonus tip: do your laundry the same day every week (ie. Saturday) and do a wardrobe prep on Sundays for the upcoming week; so that at any moment you can be ready in five minutes looking perfectly polished, and avoid the whole ordeal of being stressed/rushed and not knowing what to wear.

Skincare and haircare: Golden advice - invest in natural products/oils/ingredients instead of investing in brands. Why? Because otherwise you’re paying for a concept instead of actual health benefits for your body. Try natural soaps, oils (shea butter, coconut oil, argan, avocado, jojoba, rosehip, etc), and water extracts (rosewater, hazelwater) for toner. Coconut oil and argan oil is particularly famed for hairgrowth and shine. Castor oil as well helps hairgrowth, including for brows or lashes. Rosehip and shea heal discolorations, scars and marks. Do your research and try out what fits you, your skin will thank you later. I’ve been using natural products & oils for 9+ years and people always compliment how clear, smooth & glowy my skin is. Bonus tip: if you don’t use sunscreen already, try to incorporate it into your routine; just make sure it has gentle, non-harmful ingredients (for both yourself and the environment.

Etiquette, manners, poise, posture: Watch videos, read books or listen to audiobooks about confidence, proper etiquette, leadership skills, how to make people listen when you speak, etc. There are things which are so intuitive, obvious and logical, and yet simply becoming aware of them and having the science of it explained will transform your perspective (and the way you carry yourself).

Finances: Perform a monthly financial review to make sure you know where you are, what your budget is. Make a plan for backup funds, or savings for travels, or new tattoos, or a house, or whatever you want. It doesn’t have to be complicated, you can keep things simple by listing your expenses in five categories (Necessities, groceries, luxury, savings, free/remaining funds). Keep track of your expenses or habits, there are even apps that show statistics or analysis for easy use. The point here is to stay on top of your own finances: know how much are the monthly necessities (rent/mortgage/etc), know what has been payed and keeping receipts, knowing when things need to be paid, etc.

Integrity: This means knowing yourself, having standards, knowing what your boundaries are, what you are willing and not willing to do. When you know yourself and know your worth, you won’t ever tolerate or accept anything less. Know what your principles, values, beliefs are and hold them firmly because it is what you stand for. At the same time, it is important to keep an open mind to growth and improvement, but not so much that any persuasive argument will change your mind. Hold your own, but be gracious to other perspectives. And through it all remember - only you know what’s right for you, what’s best for you. Literally nobody else but you can know what’s in your best interest!

Efficiency & Improvement: This ties in with growth mindset but in a more practical way; make sure that you’re always leaving open space for improvement in your life, don’t ever just settle down/get stuck/let yourself sink into complacency. Know that you can always change anything! Make a habit of frequently reviewing aspects of your life (ex. via journaling) to see whether there’s anything you can make more easy, more efficient. Instead of spending hours grocery shopping, check out shops online where your favorite products can be home delivered in a snap. Instead of driving to a vet for your pet, have a call in. Setting up recurring payments for finances also counts. Literally any process or activity whereby you can automatize a service, delivery, payment, etc. will help you in the long run, so you can focus more on enjoying life, instead of wasting time with Trivial Adult Things.

[theonceoverthinker]

449. You should come monSEE what I’m working on in tonight’s Fair Game HC!

So tonight, I have some Fair Game money HCs for you all!

(I promise this is more interesting than you might think it is)

(It’s probably not, but give it a chance, okay?)

-Qrow is incredibly good at managing his money affairs. Since he was a bandit, he got good at keeping track of whatever money or items he procured rather quickly, and the skill only developed over time, even once he got salaries from Signal Academy and (presumably/hopefully) Oz. He has a loose, but completely functional budget that always leaves him in okay shape should he need a little extra money or should an emergency occur (After all, with a semblance like his, he can’t leave things to chance all that much). 

-Clover though good with money generally speaking, actually has a bit of an adjustment to his budget when he leaves Atlas. It’s not a big adjustment like other elements of his life tend to be, but he does have to adapt. After all, he essentially goes from having a regular salary (on top of having his food and lodging paid for by the Atlesian Army) to only having whatever money of his he has on hand when he leaves. He knows how much things cost, but when you’re regularly paying for things like food and lodging after having them provided to you for so long for cheap or free, you soon realize how much those costs build up. Again, it’s not a big adjustment -- he’s a grown man, he has no regrets about leaving Atlas, and he’s overall good with money -- but it does hit him within the first week how this is an entirely new layer of change than he ever thought of before. Qrow helps him out a bit, dropping a bit of advice here and there to save some money on necessary bigger and more common expenses.

-Qrow and Clover each have different approaches to paying bills. Clover is punctual. He pays his bills at least a week before they’re due, and that’s non-negotiable. An alert will go off on his scroll at the one-week point and he never needs another one to go off because the first is enough -- he even checks his bank account two days later to make sure the payment went through (Not counting holidays). Meanwhile, while Qrow pays on time, he’s not as punctual. He knows grace periods are a thing and that as long as the act of putting in the initial payment happens before or on the due date, he’s in the clear. He has faith that the payment went through because he figures that either his bank or the store will let him know if it didn’t. 

-Qrow and Clover are very...normal when it comes to filing their taxes. They keep their receipts in an accordion folder, they both attempt to calculate everything together before giving up because there’s so much to do and just deciding to hire an accountant, they splurge a little when they get their refund checks -- it’s almost boringly normal of them (I yawned writing this paragraph).

Tags under the cut!

Tagging @skybird13 @whipped4qrow @mooksie01 @luck-of-the-caw @xwildangel @solitude-of-stars @vastnessofthespiral @o0nashipear0o @unfairgamey @doctorrwby @clover-and-co @megan-atthedisco @wash-my-brain @bisexualdisasterqrow @thursdayseraph @doubledexterity @rwby-things-i-guess @atlas-heartthrob @the-answer-was-bi-klance @compoterie @thuskindlyiboop @oceansquid @transdemion @deltastream21 @mimiori @xya-hunter @delta-altair @dinosaurs-last-day @roman-torchtwink @subatomictealeaves @drbtinglecannon @saphiralunaris @pretentiouskneecaps @amxngsthxmans @ayomez13 @carbonated-table-spices @darkestsiren @chaosgameingkoi @collectingsparechangemadeeasy @michaels-daughter2005 @youmaywanttoduck @lovethewitchofendor @victorious1956 @kendalllwayland @madamoisellesica

Want to be tagged in future Fair Game HC’s (Or untagged, I understand) and be the first to catch all of the romance, fluff, drama, and puns (Sometimes all at the same time)? Send me a reply, PM, or ask, and it shall be done!

Would you also like to check out my old Fair Game HC’s? Who wouldn’t? Well, here’s a link to my Fair Game HC archives!!!!

[howrelationshipshouldbe]

Keep Them Handy: Budgeting Tools that Work

Budgeting your monthly expenses in order to get the greatest return on your income (and perhaps, even put aside some for saving!) doesn’t have to be extremely hard.

Various budgeting programs are available for use. 

Money management programs provide you with a usual package that allows you to enter your cash inflows and outflows, categorizes your expenditures, and at times, presents to you analysis of your spending behavior. 

Through these programs you can also input the various payments you have to make monthly, and subsequently track if you’ve paid your dues on time. 

Moreover, some programs also offer you a tax form draft that will help you make sure you’re not missing out on any dues or any deductibles, for that matter.

Another budgeting tool that you can utilize are coupons. 

Various stores and magazines contain coupons that you can use to get discounts on various products. 

Should there be a need to purchase a particular product for which you have a coupon for, you will end up saving a fraction of what you might have had to spend on a regular purchase.

Lists—whether on a piece of paper, on your cellular phone, or on your personal digital assistant (PDA) will help you keep focused on what you have to buy, and in effect, keep track of the purchases you make. 

A classic example is your regular grocery trip. 

Prior to making the trip, plan out the week’s entire menu and identify what food items and materials you need to purchase that are unavailable in your pantry. 

Then, make a list of other household items that you’ve run out of (or are eventually going to run out of before you can make the next trip to the grocery). 

Armed with these lists, you can go to the grocery and know exactly where to go and what you’re going to buy. 

Without these lists, you will walk idly along aisles, and will likely pick up various food items that you won’t likely need in the immediate future, or already have at home.

A filing system is perhaps one of the best budgeting tools you can have in your home. 

With simple, labeled file folders, you can put together your bills, your receipts, and whatever bank documents are issued to you when you save or pay. 

By putting together your bills, your credit card receipts, and the like, you are able to keep track of how much you owe and when your payments are due.

Effective budgeting tools are those that best address your needs as a consumer. Create your own budgeting tool or find a program to do it for you—just make sure it suits your lifestyle.

[raendown]

My part of a trade with @rookie-d and boy was this fun to write! 

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 3477 Rated: T+ Summary: Madara hated the morning shift. It was always boring and getting up early sucked. Thankfully the one time he had to work it something interesting happened, at least.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Zombies Before Noon

Their first meeting was one that Madara would remember for all the reasons Tobirama probably wished he would forget. Several hours in to a criminally early morning shift he was bored out of his skull and wondering why the hell a comic book shop needed to be open before any of the local nerds around here were even awake. He’d already tidied the shelves four times and dusted the entire premises twice when the cheery jingle of the bell over their door made him lift his head hopefully. That look quickly morphed in to horror as he took in the sight of what was clearly a zombie entering the store. 

Skin so pale it looked almost paper white, circles under his eyes so dark they looked drawn on with marker, and clothes rumpled like they hadn’t seen an ironing board in years, the man who stumbled in had his eyes completely closed and his arms hanging loose at both sides. Only three steps in he stopped dead and just stood there. Motionless. Possibly not breathing. Madara looked around for a hidden camera, wondering if his younger brother had set him up for some kind of weird prank. That was the sort of thing Izuna would do. Nothing new or suspicious stuck out to him, though, so he turned back to the stranger who was now slowly blinking his eyes open. Well, partially open. They remained squinted so tightly he probably couldn’t see any better still. 

“Coffee?” he rumbled in a deep slur. Madara looked around for cameras again. 

“Uh, we don’t serve that here.” 

“...black.” 

Furrowing his brows, Madara repeated himself. “We don’t serve coffee.”

The pale man blinked slowly with a gaze that didn’t seem to really be focused on anything. 

“Extra espresso…” his words trailed off like he meant to continue with something off and yet nothing came. After almost a full minute he managed to close his jaw again with a muted click. Then he merely stood and let his narrowed eyes bore directly in to Madara’s. 

It was the single creepiest thing this shop had ever seen. And considering the varying clientele that was saying something.

For a good hot second Madara contemplated reaching in to his pocket and calling the police. Or maybe the Disease Center. Either one of them would no doubt be very interested in this spontaneous zombie apocalypse. Then the moment passed and he realized this was probably the most interesting thing that was likely to happen to him until the early afternoon crowd began to show up near the very end of his shift. He might as well see how it played out. 

“Would an energy drink do you? We’ve got all sorts of those. Pretty cheap too.” 

“....mn.”

Since he wasn’t very sure what that meant Madara opted for believing he’d just made a sale. Trying to ask questions about flavor and the like would most likely get about as coherent an answer as the ones he’d already gotten so after a moment of going through their inventory in his mind he stepped over to the fridge behind the counter to pick out the highest concentration of caffeine they carried. It also happened to be one of their cheaper brands as well, which was great in case he ended up having to pay for this himself. Did zombies remember how to pick out money from their wallets?

Did zombies even carry their wallets?

“Here. These don’t really taste all that great but it’s got enough of a kick to revive you or whatever.” 

A few seconds after he handed it over he realized his mistake. The oddly still man blinked slowly when Madara cracked the can open for him but finally seemed to understand that there was a liquid in his hand he was meant to drink. His head tilted back to reveal a surprisingly shapely throat that bobbed up and down in a steady rhythm until the entire can was emptied, hung there unmoving for a few seconds more, then his head tilted back down with an honest to god pout on his face. Apparently he’d thought the can was bottomless.

“Right. Feel free to browse or whatever before you come settle up. Register’s over there.” Madara jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. “If you pass out try to fall away from the merchandise.” 

“Nnmm.”

“Oookay.” 

Scurrying back to the register was more for the sake of anyone looking in through the windows on their way by than for his own sense of safety. He really didn’t need anyone to call his boss and say they spotted him stalking a customer in his own store. At least he had a comfortable perch from which he could survey the entire floor, set out in a semi circle as it was, giving him a perfect view down each of their short aisles. No matter where this one man circus drifted he would be within eyesight. Madara watched with undisguised fascination while the guy drifted down aisle three, staring hard at a display entirely covered with merchandise for a popular children’s show about brightly colored ponies. The empty drink can remained clutched tightly in one fist.

With drunken steps he wound his way out of that section and in to aisle five. Despite staring directly at their selection of comics for a particular super hero universe Madara got the impression he wasn’t actually seeing any of them. Either he was hopelessly lost inside his own head or he had astrally projected so hard he wouldn’t find himself for another week. Just as the man lifted his hand, perhaps at last to interact with the world around him, the door of the shop jingled violently open to admit a harried looking woman. 

“There you are!” she screeched. Without even sparing a look around the rest of the open space she marched around a display of new releases and clapped a hand down on the zombie man’s shoulder. “I have been looking for you for over an hour, you absolute dick! Do you know how worried we’ve been? Your brother would have taken my damn head off if anything happened to you on my watch!” 

“...nm?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, the woman shook her head and finally looked around. The fact that there weren’t any other customers seemed to console her a little bit, probably relieved there weren’t more witnesses to her bad skills at keeping track of one man. When her eyes looked on to Madara he refused to quail under the force of her glare. A part of him sort of wanted to. He spent as much time in the gym as the next self-conscious guy but the look she was giving him promised that she, in fact, was the one with an ability to rip heads. To his absolute shame, he looked away first. But only for long enough for the weight of her gaze to leave him so he could go back to watching this drama unfold in front of him. 

“Come on,” she growled, tugging at the man’s sleeve. “Next time this happens I am tying you to the bed until you fucking learn! Did you even pay for that drink? You are so paying me back for this, I don’t care if it’s only a couple bucks!”

It wasn’t all that surprising how little resistance the man offered to being pulled across the floor and back out on to the street, though Madara did give some thought to whether or not he should be calling the police. Should he be reporting assault over this? It was too bad the owners were too cheap to install any real security other than the one camera pointing straight at the door and the one directly over the till. Some proper footage of what happened probably would have made great evidence if someone came back to question him.  

For several minutes after he was left suddenly alone Madara stared towards the door and wondered if it was possible that he might have hallucinated everything that just happened. Maybe he’d been reading too many of the comics in here. His mother used to warn him when he was little that using his imagination too much would rot out his common sense - but, then again, she was a cantankerous old bitch who kicked him out as soon as he turned eighteen. He’d never put much stock in anything she had to say. And then there were the coins that crazy lady had tossed over the counter on their way by, that was pretty solid evidence that he wasn’t hallucinating. 

Without a live zombie show for entertainment the rest of his shift at the comic shop mostly passed in boredom. Usually he worked the afternoon shifts just for this very reason. The mornings were always dead but he’d had to reschedule an appointment with his doctor three times already and trading shifts today had been the only way he was getting in there without having to wait several more weeks for another open spot. Medical care in their city seriously needed a bigger budget. Desperate to pass the time without resorting to the merchandise he wasn’t supposed to fiddle with on shift, Madara ended up slumped over the front counter doodling on the back of some old receipt paper he found stuffed in to a random drawer. Nearly half the page disappeared under swirls of red ink before he realized that he was drawing a dead, moaning zombie. With a sheepish look around he set the red pen aside and reached for a black one instead. Hopefully that would inspire some less creepy doodles. 

As expected, a couple hours before the end of his shift he finally started seeing some customers, his fellow nerds flocking in to check for new issues of the latest detective comic or merchandise for their favorite anime characters. Madara kept a sharp eye on the ones he didn’t recognize and gave no more thought to the entertaining if odd start to his day. After work he scurried off to the bus stop and barely made it to his long overdue doctor’s appointment before stumbling back on to the bus an hour after that with a bandaid on his arm and several vials of blood less in his body. 

“M’ home,” he called weakly as he shuffled inside the apartment. Something clattered around the corner, followed quickly by the sound of Izuna swearing.

“Did the appointment go well?” His brother’s voice shouted after him on his way down the hall. 

Tossing his jacket through the door of his bedroom, he called back. “Went fine. Had to get some blood pulled. Dumb ass doctor doesn’t think I know my own body enough to tell when I’m having seasonal allergies. He wants to test me for heart disease!” 

“But...those aren’t...anki, that makes no sense!” 

“I know!” Madara rolled his eyes even though the other couldn’t see him. “Apparently being short of breath because of the all the ragweed means I must be on the verge of a heart attack.” 

“Probably got his medical degree out of a cereal box.” 

Tired, a little loopy from having too much blood drawn without eating anything, Madara’s thoughts for the rest of his evening were filled mostly with grumbles about incompetant medical staff and listening to Izuna go on about the latest drama from his apprenticeship. Work was so far from his mind he entirely forgot to mention the strange occurrence from that morning. He went to bed that night thinking only that he was grateful his shifts were back to their usual afternoon schedule tomorrow because he certainly didn’t want to wake up early again, his dreams filled with needles that laughed at him while he sneezed uncontrollably. 

Several days went by with the usual humdrum of the life Madara and his brother had fallen in to. As much as he despised the morning shift, he loved the afternoons with equal fervor. His job at the comic shop didn’t pay much more than a basic living wage but he loved the environment, loved his regular customers, and he especially loved the hefty discount it gave him on all the nerdy merchandise he couldn’t help filling their home with. Things went about as normally as they usually did in his life until the fourth day when Madara looked up from checking out a regular customer to find the next person in line was an actual walking snack. 

Wild hair artfully arranged to somehow look purposefully messy, skin so pale he could be mistaken for an albino, red eyes that Madara would swear could see right down in to his soul, he was already a dreamboat even without taking in the deliciously toned rest of his body. Something about him looked familiar but it was hard to concentrate past the broad shoulders standing straight and tall. 

“Can I - ahem - how can I help you?” Madara fought with his cheeks not to flush bright red and prayed that no one would comment on the massive crack his voice had just done. 

“You wouldn’t happen to be Madara, would you?” the man asked in a deep rumble. “Your coworkers described you to me when I came in here yesterday.”

“I am, yes. Uh...is there something wrong?” 

Shaking his head, the man coughed a little as though feeling uncomfortable. “No, no. I only wanted to come in and thank you for not kicking me out of your store the other day. I was, ah, fairly ill at the time and my behavior was not the best. Several shops had already sent me on my way but you allowed me to stay in one place long enough for my cousin to catch up so I wanted to say thank you for letting me stay somewhere safe. Anything could have happened to me in that state.” 

For a second Madara tried to subtly look the man up and down, trying to determine if he was lying or not. Surely this couldn’t be the same guy? It was only after he mentally added some black streaks under the eyes, hunched the shoulders, and squinted the eyes that he realized it was. This was his zombie customer. 

“You don’t look the same at all!” was the first thing his stupid mouth chose to blurt out. 

“Ah. Thank you, I think.” The man coughed awkwardly again. “I’m told I look fairly awful whenever I work myself in to sleep deprivation.” 

“Oh is that why you were acting so much like a zombie? Wait no! Shit! Sorry, that was rude! Um, shit- gah, I’m not supposed to swear, fuck. Damn it!” Exasperated with his own lack of self control, Madara smacked a hand over his face. Nearby one of his regulars could be heard snickering but glaring them in to silence would have meant removing his hand and facing the hot stranger who’d made him splutter. 

To his eternal relief, no comments were made about his verbal idiocy, although he could definitely hear traces of amusement in the man’s tone when he continued speaking. 

“Yes, unfortunately I have a habit of getting a little too involved in my studies. Exams are coming up so I’ve only been sleeping about two or three hours a night and it, ah, finally caught up to me apparently. I don’t remember much but my cousin tells me I wandered out of her house sometime around six in the morning and she didn’t find me until, er, whenever it was she found me in here.” After scratching at the back of his neck he seemed to jolt himself and then held out the same hand. “I’m Tobirama, by the way.” 

“Madara. But um, you apparently already knew that.” 

They shook hands, at which point Madara realized the other man’s incredible height also came with massive hands that practically engulfed his own. He really hoped he wasn’t blushing as brightly as it felt like he was. 

“So you live around here then?” he asked. Then he wanted to slap himself again because that was probably way too personal of a question. 

“Not really. Well, not yet. I’m staying with my cousin so I can take some courses at the university but my brother is thinking of moving back to town so I’ll probably move back in with him if he does.” 

“Back to town?” Madara perked up. “So you’re from around here originally?” 

Tobirama nodded. “We grew up in the west end.”

“No kidding? Me too.” Squinting, Madara tried to determine whether they might have crossed paths when they were younger. The man did sort of look familiar but age could change a lot about a person and it wasn’t like he’d kept contact with anyone from that end of town. Not after he’d been summarily tossed to the curb. 

His closer interest did not go unnoticed. For a moment he flushed even deeper than he already was, thinking Tobirama might have been offended by his scrutiny. Then his ears were flaming for another reason entirely and he couldn’t even bring himself to be upset about the misunderstanding when the other leaned in just a bit closer with a slow smile. 

“I don’t suppose you’d like to go for coffee sometime?” he asked. “As a thank you, of course.” 

“On one condition,” Madara told him, feeling suddenly bold.

“Do tell.” Tobirama looked even more amused by his request. He leaned farther down to rest his weight on both elbows to patiently await the condition he would supposedly need to meet. 

“If you can describe the premise behind any of the comics in this store then you’ve got yourself a date. I’ve had too many people try and steer me away from ‘childish interests’ and think they can ‘help me grow up’.” 

After breaking up with the fourth person in a row who mocked him for his interests Madara had made a pact with himself to never again date anyone who didn’t accept him for who he was and what he loved. He might be a massive nerd but he’d learned the lesson of self value a long time ago and he wasn’t about to let himself be blinded by a pretty face again. 

To his utter delight, he needn't have worried this time. With a competitive sort of light in his eye Tobirama pointed out half a dozen different comics within eyesight and not only named the main characters but also the basis of the main plot for each of them. What made it all the more impressive was that he mostly chose rather obscure franchises that couldn’t be considered mainstream. Madara was half in love before he was finished describing the third one. Handsome, intelligent enough for university, and apparently in to the same geeky stuff as him? Sign him up. Immediately. 

“Okay, okay, point made!” Throwing up his hands in surrender made Tobirama smile. “You mentioned your exams are coming up so I’m guessing you’ll be busy for the next little while. Why don’t I give you my number and we can go out for coffee to celebrate after you don’t need to study so much?” 

“I would appreciate that a lot,” Tobirama murmured earnestly. 

“School’s obviously important to you if you’ll work yourself in to a zombie state over it,” Madara pointed out. 

He got a grateful look that made his stomach flip flop. Rather than make a fool of himself again he printed off a bit of blank receipt paper and wrote his number down, sliding it across the counter. He expected Tobirama to slip the paper in to his pocket but instead he pulled out a beaten up cell phone and entered the number right there, smiling to himself like he'd won an unexpected treat. 

“I’m sure Hashirama will be thrilled to know I’m finally being more social.”

Madara nearly stopped breathing. All the triumph of having secured a very promising date suddenly drained right out of him as he stared at the man across the counter in horror, several little clues falling in to place at once. Finally he’d figured out why Tobirama looked familiar and it wasn’t because he’d seen him in zombie form. Images of his childhood best friend danced across his memories.

“You’re...you’re Hashirama’s little brother,” he whimpered. “Oh god. Oh god! He’s going to kill me! He’s going to come back to Konoha just to cut all my hair off in a bowl cut to match his!” 

While Tobirama stared at him with a mixture of horror and amusement Madara decided that as long as he got that date first he didn’t much care how he died. One conversation - and one look at those well defined biceps - was all he’d needed to know that Tobirama would be well worth it.

[gotemsayingw0w]

It started as an innocuous statement. She might as well have been telling him about the weather or the grocery list. As Tohru Honda sat at the chabudai table early one Fall Sunday morning, bent over her computer screen furiously reading its contents, she turned to her boyfriend, Kyo, and said "I think we should probably get married soon."

Kyo Sohma chuckled into his cup of coffee. "Okay," He responded. "Let me know when you have some free time and I'll try to pencil you in." He assumed she was joking given the glib manner in which she had made the comment.

Tohru nodded, still entirely focused on the computer screen. "Yeah…maybe later this week..." Her voice trailed off. "I don't think either of us have to work on Thursday."

Kyo turned his whole body towards her, but she didn't look up from the screen. Her lips were pursed, a delicate finger pressed to her chin. In the reflection of her reading glasses he saw her scrolling through an endless page of dense text. He watched her for a minute, both waiting to see if she would continue her comments and to appreciate just how adorable she looked right in that moment. Occasionally, she stopped scrolling and mouthed the words on the screen, following along to the important information she gleaned from whatever text she was reading.

"You want to get married," Kyo summarized. "On Thursday. When we have the day off."

She nodded vaguely and mumbled "Did you have something else you wanted to do on Thursday?" Finally, she stopped scrolling entirely and pressed her finger to the screen. "Aha! Found it."

His curiosity got the best of him and he sidled around to her side of the table, gently nudging her over with his knee. On the screen was information about requirements for applying for a loan. Scanning the page further, the information specifically covered how one could apply for a housing loan in their ward of the country. Tohru grabbed a notebook from the floor next to her and jotted down the information on the screen.

"You want to get married on Thursday and then what?" Kyo asked. "Buy a house on Friday?"

"No, I think it takes much longer for the paperwork to process," Tohru responded, finishing her notes and closing the laptop. "The house would probably have to wait until the summer at least." She pulled off her reading glasses and neatly folded them on top of her notebook. "What do you think?"

Kyo just raised his eyebrows and smirked. He had no idea how to respond, seeing as his girlfriend had just quickly whipped together their future plans within the span of a few short minutes. It wasn't the first time, of course, that they'd talked about marriage or buying a home. It was just the first time anything had been said in such a conclusive manner.

They were true adults now in the eyes of the law. Their ward of the country asserted that both eligible parties must be at least 20 before applying to be married lest they have the approval of their parents. And seeing as Tohru's parents were dead and Kyo's only biological parent would rather see him dead, they didn't have the luxury of asking permission.

The assumption was that marriage was on the horizon, but neither of them were really in any hurry. Their lifestyle was essentially that of a married couple, especially now that they were living together far from home. They both worked full time, both were contributing members of society. Marriage would come one day soon, certainly, but no one was rushing it.

In fact, both Kyo and Tohru asserted on their last visit home that they'd like to be settled in a home of their own before getting married or even thinking about children. It may have been unconventional, but they were determined to save enough money to buy a permanent residence in their new, coastal town.

Three years ago they moved away, nearly five hours from where they both grew up. Kyo was working as a martial arts instructor at a local dojo, owned by a dear friend of Kazuma's, and Tohru initially worked at an elementary school before taking over as the dojo's scheduling and billing consultant. While initially they lived with Kazuma's friend, Takahashi, they scrounged up enough money after three months to move into a glorified shoebox.

Their apartment was small, but it was their home. The single bedroom meant that they couldn't have guests as often as Tohru would have liked (much to Kyo's delight). The kitchen had just enough counter space to hold a rice cooker or chop vegetables, but certainly not both. The main area served as a living room, dining room, guest room, and craft room. It was cheap and it was functional, but more than anything it was theirs. From the shrine in the bedroom to the immaculate kitchen to the photographs of them and their friends on the wall, they had made this shoebox their home and, in the process, saved as much as they could of their wages.

In truth, they could have afforded a bigger apartment. They maybe even could have afforded to buy a small house when they first moved here, given the Sohma family's strange and gratuitous allowance awarded to the Zodiacs (even the cat didn't have to be forgotten financially). But that money was in an account neither Kyo or Tohru wished to touch. They never talked about what they'd use it for, though Kyo had it in his head that he wanted to save it for his future children, but they both wanted to save their own money and put it towards their future. It meant working a lot and living a frugal lifestyle, but it was all theirs.

Tohru was the one in their relationship who budgeted and handled bills. Kyo knew the very basics of finances, but Tohru, who was running the finances in the Honda household by the time she was in middle school, seemed to enjoy it. And she was good at it. Once Yuki taught her how to use a computer to pay all of her bills and track their expenses, she became an amateur accountant. She was meticulous and methodical, carefully keeping tabs on every receipt, every bank account balance, and every bill that was due.

As their savings grew, Tohru and Kyo began informally looking for a home to buy. It wasn't a very serious search, they simply went for walks around the neighborhood pointing out houses for sale and debating what they wanted in a home. Yuki had also sent Tohru a real estate website where she could look at local listings and compare the average prices with her budget. It was April now, and, since January, Tohru had been actively researching homes and the home-buying process.

But now her gears had shifted. They had decided to buy the house first and then worry about marriage, children, and the rest of their lives. Curious as to what changed, Kyo asked her about her shift in mindset.

"When I was at the bank on Friday, the teller was asking about you," Tohru explained. They'd grown quite fond of the local store personnel in their new town and Tohru was always making friends wherever she went. "He said that it is a great time to buy a home, but we'd have an even better chance of getting a good loan if we're married."

"Sounds kind of ridiculous," Kyo commented.

Tohru nodded. "That's what I thought, but when I started looking at loan applications online and doing my research, he's right. Joint household accounts are more likely to get a better rate.

"So then I started looking into getting married and it's really not a lengthy process. It would take us maybe two hours maximum to do it and then, after a few weeks, we could look for a house and apply for a loan." Kyo nodded, taking this all in. "Plus, with our lease ending this summer, it's a good time."

Kyo pondered this new information and tried not to laugh. It was so like her to view something as serious as marriage in such a practical light. She was never extravagant, nor did she like to be the center of attention. In her mind, they were essentially already married, the only thing that was missing was some paperwork and his last name.

Kyo didn't romanticize the idea of a wedding either, really. It seemed like an expensive excuse to wear clothes he hated and be around his family. The only thing about marriage that really mattered to him was Tohru. It was the idea that Tohru Honda could become Tohru Sohma, declaring to the government and everyone else that she was truly his. And for her to wear a ring on her finger so that there would be no doubt.

But he also knew that while it may have been their marriage, it wasn't entirely about them. He would never hear the end of it if they got married at the municipal office without telling Uotani or Hanajima. He knew that, while Shishou would never say anything, it would mean the world for him to be there. And, one day, Tohru may look back and wish that they'd done something special, even if it wasn't traditional.

"Do you really just want to fill out the paperwork and that's it?" Kyo asked. "No ceremony, no ring, nothing?"

She pondered this, once again adorably pressing her finger to her lips. "Well, I think I'd probably like a simple ring," she said. "But I'm not sure about the rest. Having a traditional ceremony is so expensive and I'd really hate to inconvenience everyone with such a long, drawn out process."

Kyo chose not to address the fact that, if they did have a traditional wedding, the entire Sohma family would be over the moon rather than 'inconvenienced.' "But what about Uotani and Hanajima? What about the rat and Shishou?" Kyo asked. "You don't want them there?"

Tohru frowned and it was clear to him that this thought hadn't crossed her mind. "I guess Uo-chan and Hana-chan would be pretty upset if I got married and didn't tell them…"

"Yeah, they'd probably try to kill me," Kyo chuckled, imagining Uotani's blind yankee rage. "Plus, think about how upset Ayame and Mine will be if they can't make you a dress or furisode." Her brow furrowed as his words sank in. "Aaaaand think about our future children one day. They'll be so disappointed when they hear that all their parents did to get married was ask a government official nicely."

Tohru nodded and said, "You're right, you're right. I didn't think about all of those things."

"So…" he said, waiting for her to decide on an alternative plan.

She raised her eyes towards the ceiling and thought for a minute, before turning to him, a gleam in her eye, as she said "I have an idea."

"This is the most pitiful wedding I've ever seen." Fanning her face with a stack of pamphlets, Arisa Uotani sat slumped in a plastic chair in the local municipal office.

"It is...fairly grim," replied Yuki Sohma, equally uncomfortable in the stifling heat.

"Would the two of you please shut up?" Kyo asked. He wasn't happy about it either. The tiny office where the three of them were currently stuffed was humid, a sheen of condensation glistening on the window, nearly blinding him as the late afternoon sunlight poured into the room.

A month ago he had suggested inviting the two of them. What an idiot he was. He should have taken Tohru's idea and ran with it. Two hours, some signatures, and absolutely no family or friends at their wedding? Thinking about it now, it was the absolute dream.

"I'm just saying, you at least could have added some nice, romantic touches," Arisa insisted. "Flowers, maybe? A tuxedo?"

"How about a bride?" Yuki added, chortling to himself.

"I'm here, I'm here!" Tohru shouted, running into the room with Hanajima and Kazuma behind her. Kyo tried to ignore just how close the damn psychic was standing to Shishou as he rose to greet them.

"Tohru, please tell me this is a joke, right?" Arisa asked though she looked pointedly at Kyo as she spoke.

"We've been over this, Yankee," Kyo said, through gritted teeth. He grabbed Tohru's hand as she sat down in the chair beside his.

"Really, Uo-chan," Tohru insisted, grabbing her friend's wrist with her free hand. "This is what I wanted."

"It's lovely, Tohru-kun," said Kazuma. And even though Kyo could tell he was being dishonest, he appreciated the sentiment. He stole one more glare at the Yankee before turning around.

"Did you remember everything to bring?" Kyo asked, his tone softening as he spoke with Tohru.

She held up the large shoulder bag as proof. "I didn't forget a single thing," she responded, her smile sweet. "Did you bring everything you needed?"

He responded by holding up his ratty gym bag and she giggled. They waited a few more minutes before the marriage registrar joined them. They'd met with Daisuke a few weeks ago to go over what they wanted. He winked as he walked into the tiny office.

"Hello there," He responded, greeting the room. "Thank you all for coming, but we'll need the room for a few minutes before we're ready for you. There is a lovely balcony just outside the backdoor. How about you wait for me there?"

Arisa and the rat grumbled, but obliged. Kazuma, who had been let in on the plan last week, turned to Kyo and Tohru, his eyes already wet. "See you in a few minutes," he said, before ushering the rest of them through the door.

Daisuke sat at his desk and smiled warmly at Kyo and Tohru. "Okay, you two. Do you have all of your paperwork?"

Tohru pulled a pink file folder out of her bag. Inside was both of their birth certificates, signed marriage contracts, and her letter of intent to change her name. She handed everything to Daisuke and he gave her a new ID card with the family name Sohma listed where it used to say Honda.

"You know," Kyo said, a wicked grin on his face. "We can just leave now and never see the rest of them again." Tohru frowned at him in response and he said "Okay, okay, sorry. Just checking to see if you were coming around to my idea. Clearly the answer is no."

"If you leave that means I will have to take care of your friends," Daisuke reminded him. "Everyone vetoed that idea last week."

Kyo groaned, but nodded. "Fine," he said, though the sarcasm dripping in his tone was clearly forced. "I'll go change. But just know you had the option."

Tohru narrowed her eyes at him, but he waved her off. He grabbed his gym bag and went into the hall to the bathroom. Once the door closed, Tohru reached into her back and grabbed the wrapped box she had prepared for Kyo. "You'll hold on to this for after, right?" She asked. Daisuke tucked in under his desk and nodded. Tohru grinned and rose to go to the bathroom to change. "I'll see you in the lobby!"

Out on the back balcony, five individuals sat facing the ocean in the rapidly dimming autumn sunlight. Arisa and Saki sat together on one bench with Kazuma and Yuki sitting together on the other.

Arisa's patience was rapidly depleting. She blew a few loose strands of hair off of her face before saying "You know, if they make us wait any damn longer, we're all gonna be sitting here in the dark."

Daisuke joined them on the balcony. "They're coming, I promise. Kazuma-dono, you can go ahead inside."

Arisa grumbled under her breath "dammit, why does he get to go inside? The three former classmates sat outside, not talking, but each waiting as patiently as they possibly could. For Saki and Yuki, that meant slight fidgeting. For Arisa it meant continued cursing.

After a minute, Kyo joined them outside. He came and stood next to Daisuke, smirking at three of the closest friends he's ever had (God, that's bleak, he thought) and their vaguely annoyed faces. "You guys better fuckin' smile, it's a happy day."

They stared at him, dumbfounded, and under their scrutiny, Kyo strongly resisted the urge to loosen his tie or untuck his shirt. As they continued to stare, clearly shocked he was wearing a suit and even more shocked that he was grinning ear to ear.

"Damn," Yuki said, clearly the most shocked out of the three of them. "You actually look...decent." Arisa and Saki nodded. "Who knew you would ever wear a tie after graduation?"

"Last time it's ever fuckin' happening," Kyo insisted.

"What about for any of our weddings, jackass?" Asked Arisa.

"I'm sending Tohru as my proxy," he replied with a smirk. "Now would you shut the hell up? She's comin' out soon."

As he said those words, the door to the municipal office opened and Tohru emerged wearing a Western-style white dress. It wasn't extravagant, but its silhouette hugged tightly to her chest and flared out with a tulle skirt just above her knees. Her hair, presumably curled by her beloved Hana-chan earlier in the day, was held in a loose updo by a gold hair clip that had belonged to her mother. When she had called Ayame and Mine to ask if they had anything in storage they could send her to wear, a week later a package with Kyo's black suit and Tohru's handmade custom dress arrived on their doorstep. Tohru cried the moment she opened it and Kyo actually teared up a bit, too.

But it was nothing compared to either of their crying now. The second she stepped out onto the small, concrete portico, and caught his eye, she started weeping. Shishou, standing at her left, handed her a tissue he'd been holding in his robe. He was crying, too. And seeing the both of them, tears openly flowing, made Kyo lose it as well. He couldn't help it as a tear rolled down his cheek, hitting the lapel of his blazer. Followed by another and another. And the second she came to stand next to him, they both were a snotty, weepy mess.

Shishou returned to his seat next to Yuki, and Yuki, knowingly, put his hand on Kazuma's forearm.

As the sun set, casting deep pinks and bright oranges through the clouds above them, Kyo Sohma and Tohru Honda exchanged their wedding vows. They held tightly to each other's hands the entire time, not even bothering to look at Daisuke or their meager audience as they repeated the traditional Shinto vows wearing Western clothing. They exchanged simple, matching gold wedding bands, giggled as they heard sobs from their friends, and laughed through their tears when Yuki offered Kazuma the sleeve of his shirt to cry into.

And ten minutes after they walked outside, they swore to one another that they would be together until the end of time. Always supportive. Always patient. Always respectful. Always in love.

"Yes, I promise." Chikaimasu.

They entertained Kazuma's idea of having dinner altogether at a local restaurant. Before leaving, in the brief moment they had alone, Kyo reminded Tohru that they could ditch everyone else and just head home. But she gently kissed him as she loosened his tie and reminded him it was just a meal they had to get through before they could be alone.

They were eating a nicer yakiniku restaurant, naturally suggested by Hanajima even though neither Kyo nor Tohru really preferred it.

Kyo suffered through what felt like the longest meal of his life. Everyone at the table insisted on 'saying a few words on their behalf.' Some of the speeches were brief, especially the psychic's and the rat's. But Arisa spent roughly 15 minutes rambling and, at times, yelling through her tears about how proud she was. Kazuma, who had actually prepared a small speech, started crying and struggled to get through it without taking several crying breaks.

Yuki, Saki, and Arisa ordered several rounds of sake before their meal was even ordered and continued to get drunker (and, as expected, more weepy) as the evening went on. They ordered several course's worth of food and then Yuki presented a cake he had purchased to celebrate the occasion. They were presented with gifts, mostly sentimental ones aimed at Tohru from the three twenty year olds, but also an unreasonably large check from Kazuma, which Tohru spent approximately 30 minutes insisting they couldn't accept. Yuki brought a canvas tote stuffed with cards and gifts from the rest of the Sohma clan.

When the check was finally paid, Kyo stood before everyone else, grabbing Tohru's hand as he did so, and announced "Well thanks, everyone, but it's getting late."

"That's rude," Yuki muttered drunkenly.

"Shut up," Kyo retorted as Tohru stood next to him. "I just sat through a long-ass dinner with you and didn't complain the whole time. You're welcome."

"Plus, we'll see you in the morning for breakfast!" Tohru exclaimed, stepping around the table to give each person a hug. "Are you sure you can get back to the guesthouse by yourselves?"

"Yep," Kyo responded. "They're sure. Shishou, thanks for dinner. See you in the morning. Bye."

As he pulled Tohru out onto the street, he couldn't help but stop to kiss her deeply. She giggled as she did so, eyes tearing up once more. "That was a long dinner," she admitted after pulling away. She reached for his hand and gently tugged him in the general direction of their home. "Come on, husband, let's go home."

They ascended the four flights of stairs to their apartment and unlocked the door. For an unknown reason, Kyo felt his nerves ignite. It wasn't because it was their first night as husband and wife, no, they'd crossed the intimacy bridge years ago. It was truly the first night of the rest of their lives.

"I have something for you," He said as he slipped off his wildly uncomfortable shoes.

"I have something for you, too!" She exclaimed. "I was going to give it to you earlier, but we didn't really have a chance." She reached into her bag and removed the gift. "Here, take it with you to the bedroom and I'll meet you there. I just want to take my hair out in the bathroom first."

He entered their room and pulled the box he had for her out from under a stack of shirts in his dresser. He carefully hung the blazer in the closet along with his tie while he waited for her and then sat on the bed, sliding her present in front of him and leaving the one she'd wrapped next to him.

Tohru emerged from the bathroom after a few minutes, out of her dress and wearing a simple white silk yukata. She had it tied loosely around her waist, the neckline dipping deliciously low and the hem ending just at the middle of her thighs. Her hair, previously set in curls and tied back, floated loosely around her face, traces of curls still visible at the very ends. She wore a set of ornately woven lace stockings, which ended just where the yukata began. A light, pink blush crept across her cheeks as she sat across from him. Kyo felt all of the air forced from his lungs. She was a vision.

He quickly shoved the gifts aside. "Gifts later," he begged and she smiled as she grabbed his hands.

"Gifts first, please," She requested. And though his entire body screamed in protest, he didn't deny her.

"Fine," he agreed, trying to focus his gaze away from her cleavage and whatever the hell was under that yukata.

She placed her long, thin package in his hands. "You first," she insisted. He carefully unfurled the ribbon and tore through the wrapping paper. As he unwrapped the gift she hurriedly explained "I got you one practical gift and one silly gift, but if you don't like them…"

He bopped her on the head with the lid of the box before he looked inside. "Oh, would you hush. I already love them."

"But you haven't seen them!" She exclaimed and shoved the box back into his hands. He pulled the larger gift out first. It was a simple, nondescript book with a soft leather cover. As he opened the cover to see the lettering she took his hand and said "Really, it's silly. It's okay if you don't like it."

He ran his fingers over the raised lettering of the inside cover. Kyo and Tohru Sohma. As he read it, he felt the backs of his eyes sting and his throat close. When he turned to the first page and saw the first picture taken of just the two of them, a tear ran down his cheek.

"I didn't even know this picture existed," he said, choking on his words.

It was the two of them at one of the shrines in Kyoto. They were standing together, Kyo balancing his arm on the top of her head and smirking. Tohru had a wide grin, her eyes not looking at the camera, but rather laughing at whatever he had been saying then. They both had a faint blush painted on their cheeks.

"Hana-chan took it," she explained, also tearing up. "I didn't think you ever saw it. I held onto it. Actually, I kept it under my pillow when we lived with Shigure-san."

He smiled at her. "I would say that's really dorky and embarrassing, but I would have done the same thing if I knew it existed, honestly."

She giggled and sidled up to his side as he flipped through the rest of the book. He knew the rest of the pictures well, pictures from graduation with, thankfully, the rest of their friends cropped out. Pictures of them on the day they had moved. Pictures of them in their new home. Candids of them eating or cooking together.

He closed the book and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "I love it, thank you." She smiled and wiped her tears with her hand. As she did so, he caught the gleam of her wedding ring in the dim light and his heart constricted once more. "I have an idea, actually."

"An idea?" She asked.

"Yeah, hear me out," He insisted. "I got you a practical gift and a silly gift, too. But I only want to give you the silly one tonight because it really goes with your gift. We can do practical tomorrow."

Tohru smiled and nodded. "I agree. Only mushy for tonight." She reached for the box next to him and he presented it to her. It wasn't nearly as neatly wrapped and the only damn wrapping paper he could find in their apartment had pumpkins on it, but whatever. She gently unwrapped it and lifted the lid. Inside was a slightly thicker book, bound with a beige canvas cover.

She opened it and, just like he was minutes ago, was struck by the raised letter on the first page. She immediately devolved into sobs, resting her head on Kyo's shoulder as she read it over and over again. The Sohma Family.

There was a single page with a picture and a small note written in calligraphic handwriting. It was a picture of them, in their wedding garb prepared by Ayame, taken with Tohru's phone three weeks ago when they'd first received a package. They were standing in the apartment against the living room wall, phone propped up across the room. It certainly wasn't a conventional wedding picture, but they certainly didn't have a conventional wedding. Beneath the picture was the date they had planned for their wedding and those same words she had printed in her book. Kyo and Tohru Sohma.

"Did you write this?" Tohru asked through her sniffles, running her fingers across the words.

"Hell no," Kyo responded, laughing. "I asked Hanajima to do it for me. She wanted me to pay her. I sent her a gift basket with food instead."

She beamed at him, eyes red, but sparkling. "Kyo-kun, that's even more sweet that you asked her for help. I love it. But why is the rest blank?"

Kyo rapped her on the head with his knuckles. "Dummy," he said, his voice affectionate. "That's for us to fill up for the rest of ever. With kids or cats or goblins we find outside. It's the Sohma family."

She kissed him sweetly on the lips, shuffling into his lap as she did so. "Thank you. I really, really love it." She kissed him once more and then pressed her forehead to his.

"Okay, can I open my last present now?"

Tohru's brow furrowed. "I thought we said tomorrow?"

"No, no," Kyo responded, gently untying the sash on her yukata as he pressed his lips to her jawline. "Not what I meant." She giggled as she shrugged out of her robe, revealing the elaborate, see-through lingerie that Ayame had sent her a week later.

"Okay, okay, I suppose you can, husband," she teased.

He pressed his lips to her breast and hummed in appreciation. "Happy wedding, Mrs. Sohma."

Author's Note: I got married in March right before my state shut down! My husband and I didn't want to ever get married (we've been together for 6 years), but then he needed health insurance and I had it, soooooo we did it. I started working on this piece right after we officially got married, but it was a WIP for a long time.

For some reason, I hardcore headcanon these two not having a fancy or traditional wedding. Neither Tohru nor Kyo like being in the center of attention and Tohru is so frugal. Idk it just makes sense to me. I know it is definitely not the usual "Marriage of Tohru and Kyo" and I really do love pieces where the wedding is elaborate, Shinto or Western. But for me, this is how I imagine it. Please enjoy!

[this-is-such-a-bad-decision]

Lup and the Kind of Okay, Could be Better Day

AU in which LUP is burned into the cafeteria wall and the Madame Director actually follows up on it. Lucretia has a lot of feelings, and Lup is tired of being the sane one in the family. (Spoilers for everything post Petals to the Metal.)

Can also be read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22515841/chapters/53802781

***

Chapter 1

She had just wanted a damn muffin.

Lucretia did not usually eat with the rest of the Bureau. She had a professional distance to maintain, and, if she ate in her office, she could consume calories and keep working towards saving the universe. Maximum efficiency.

On this particular day, however, someone had brought a big box of lemon blueberry muffins up from the surface, and they were being dispersed in the cafeteria. Davenport was already occupied with a different errand, so if she wanted that sweet, lemony goodness, Lucretia would have to get it herself.

What she went looking for was a muffin. What she found was an irritable janitor staring at the name of Lucretia’s best friend—MIA, presumed dead, forgotten by all but two—burned into the cafeteria wall.

This isn’t possible, was all her stunned, useless brain could offer, and yet it was.

A quick tap of her staff, and the name was gone, the walls once again smooth and unmarred by past sins.

Lucretia could feel the eyes of the cafeteria’s occupants on her back, curious, so she turned to meet the room at large. The look on her face must have truly been something to see based on the hush that immediately fell, the tension so thick in the air it was hard to breathe.

“What. Happened?”

***

She found Angus first. Lucretia was stalking past the library when the boy came rushing out the door, his arms full of tomes; a quick glance at the top of the stack revealed them to be what was probably their entire selection on anything remotely related to the Umbra Wizards. He had a look on his face like a man (boy) on a mission, and she could guess what it was.

“Hi, Madame Director,” Angus greeted her distractedly. “Can’t talk now, got a mystery on my hands!” he called, already rushing past her.

“That will have to wait, Angus. I need to speak with you, now.” Her voice was cold and grave, and it stopped the detective in his tracks. “I understand there was an incident in the cafeteria. I need you to tell me everything that happened.”

Angus turned and looked up at her with clear surprise and slight wariness. Lucretia usually spoke to him with more warmth than she allowed herself with the others, and he didn’t seem to know what to make of the change.

“Is- is something wrong, Director?” Angus asked, hesitantly, then started babbling. “Madame, it wasn’t Taako’s fault, Taako was just trying to teach me magic, I was the one who made the bad macarons and-”

Lucretia sighed to herself and put a hand on Angus’ shoulder, squeezing once, firmly. “Angus, I’m not mad, and no one is in trouble. I just need to understand what happened. Please, start from the beginning.”

“Oh, okay.” After a moment Angus seemed to gather himself.

“Um, you know how Taako has been teaching me how to do wizardly magics? We met up today to practice, and I showed him that I can do Produce Flame now. And he said that he was proud of me, then he said he was going to destroy me, then he said it was for a theater production… Anyway, it was weird and uncomfortable, but then I gave him some macarons I made as a thank you gift for the lessons.” He grimaced.

“Unfortunately, they weren’t very good, so Taako was going to make them taste better with Prestidigitation… Except fire came out of the Umbra Staff instead and destroyed them. I thought he just really didn’t like my cookies, but Taako said it wasn’t him, then the Umbra Staff started casting Scorching Ray at the wall all on its own. It spelled out L—U—P before it stopped and went back to normal. After Taako ran off, I came straight to the library to see what I could find,” he finished, lifting his stack a little higher to demonstrate.

Lucretia held herself very still throughout the explanation, barely keeping herself from flinching towards the end. She took a deep breath and tried to organize her racing thoughts.

“Thank you, Angus,” she said, finally. “Do you know where Taako went? I need to speak with him about this.” Angus looked concerned again. Lucretia felt her heart swell with exasperated affection despite itself. Angus had such obvious loyalty to Taako, and he was clearly worried he’d thrown the elf under the bus. “No, he’s not in trouble.”

“Um, I’m not sure where he went, ma’am. He might be hiding; I think he didn’t want anyone to yell at him or make him clean the wall.” That earned him a small chuckle, and Angus seemed to relax a little.

“Alright, I’ll just call him on the intercom. Thank you again, and good luck with your investigation. Let me know if you find anything,” she added, knowing that he wouldn’t. Angus perked up at the encouragement.

“You’re welcome, Madame Director. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated,” he said with his signature cheesy grin. Lucretia gave him a strained smile in return, then turned and swept off to her office, her mind a whirlwind.

***

“What? No! It’s not even from the Bureau, I found it, it’s mine.”

“Taako, please be reasonable,” Lucretia said tiredly, barely resisting the urge to rub her temples. When she had called Taako over the intercom, he had taken a while to arrive, clearly dragging his feet and reluctant to come in.  When she asked him to recount the events of the cafeteria and—again—the circumstances in which he found the umbrella, he had been cagey and wary. And when she informed him that she would be confiscating his Umbra Staff, his response was, predictably, less than thrilled.

“Why are we even talking about this? It’s just a stupid wall, if it’s that big a deal I’ll fix it myself. Fuck, I’m a transmutation wizard, I could make a whole new wall if you wanted. You want a wall made of gold? I can make that shit happen.”

“Taako, the issue is not the wall, that has already been dealt with. The issue is that your arcane focus is firing off dangerous spells on its own; it’s a safety hazard. Someone could have been hurt, Angus could have been hurt.” Taako scoffed.

“Angus is fine, not a single hair on his know-it-all head was even singed.”

“Taako, Angus may be the world’s greatest detective, but he is just a little boy. Do you know how many hit points little boys have? Not many. Never mind hurt, he could have been killed.” The rebellious, petulant look remained on Taako’s face, but she could see it cracking a little. “This is my fault. You told me you found this on a dead red robe, I should have investigated immediately to make sure it was safe.”

“Director, it’s never hit an ally,” Taako tried again. “It’s only ever gone off on its own when I was in danger; it’s been pretty helpful in the whole ‘keep Taako alive’ department, something I would like to keep doing if it’s all the same to you.” She tilted her head.

“What was the danger this time? What was it protecting you from that could justify firing off powerful spells near your co-workers?” Taako just glared back at her, seemingly trying to think of an answer.

Lucretia wondered how much of his anger actually came from losing such a powerful weapon and how much of it came from a subconscious desperately clinging to anything of Lup’s. Honestly, even if someone had gotten hurt, in most circumstances she would have let him keep the Umbra Staff. He was right that it had been helpful, and his continued existence was one of her top priorities. Perhaps more importantly, she loathed separating him from the only thing left behind by his sister. In this case, however, she would make an exception.

“Fine, whatever,” Taako snapped. He lifted the Umbra Staff and dropped it rudely on her desk before turning to walk out the door.

“Wait, Taako, wait a moment,” Lucretia called after him, reaching into her desk drawer for her paper and quill. Taako turned and watched as she quickly jotted something down before sealing the sheet in an envelope.

“Take this to the Fantasy Costco and give it to Garfield. Just this once I will comp you an arcane focus to replace this one—considering it’s Bureau policy that’s causing you to lose it.” That got his attention, and the look on his face was one she knew well.

“An arcane focus, Taako,” she emphasized as she passed over the envelope. “Something powerful for your spellcasting. Not just something expensive cause you can’t afford it otherwise, and especially not the Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom.” Lucretia might have accumulated quite a bit of gold in the making of her organization, but she wasn’t made of money; the budget cuts required to pay for something like that would be a nightmare.

Taako was giving her an overly innocent look. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, why would I know anything about a sword? Actually, why do you know anything about a sword?” When she didn’t answer, his grin stretched wider.

“Lucretia?” Taako asked in a sing-song voice, and her heart clenched hard at the familiarity. “Have you been window shopping? Had your eye on it and don’t want anyone to snatch it up?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Taako. I am an abjuration wizard, a practitioner of the defensive magical arts. What possible use could I have for something like that?” A pause as he just grinned at her. “… But I have to admit, it would look pretty fucking rad on my mantle.” That earned her a delighted laugh.

“Too bad, Director, I’m getting there first.” Seeing her about to protest, “Next time, next time I guilt you into writing me a blank check.”

Lucretia rolled her eyes, the corners of her lips twitching as she valiantly attempted to keep down a smile at his antics. Maybe she would normally have less patience, but right now she was too relieved to see him accepting the olive branch.

“I’ll expect a receipt.” Back into business mode, “That’s all I needed of you. If there’s nothing else on your end, I need to get to work.”

“Yeah, alright, later. Don’t blow yourself up poking at that thing.” He walked out of the room, throwing a peace sign over his shoulder as he left.

Lucretia watched the closed door for a moment before slowly turning her gaze to the staff lying in front of her.

“Taako, where did you find that umbrella?” Barry’s voice came in over the Stone of Farspeech—distorted and strange, but it had to be him—and, beneath her rising panic, Lucretia fought back tears. “You- YOU FOUND HER?”

Lucretia rested her chin in her hand, fingers over her mouth, while the other hand tapped lightly on her desk. She stayed that way for several long minutes before finally jumping to her feet, snatching up the umbrella and heading into her personal chambers. Once there, she grabbed a bag and stowed the umbrella inside (no one needed to see her walking around with this thing) along with a pouch of spell components. She cast around a moment for anything else she might need before heading back into her office.

“Davenport,” the gnome, back from his task, perked up from his seat in her office. “I am going to the brig. Unless there is an emergency, I am not to be disturbed.”

“Davenport.”

“And when I say emergency, I mean the moon is under attack, or we’re falling from the sky, or literally the entire planet is on fire. Nothing less.”

“Davenport!”

Lucretia nodded to her friend, then stalked off into the hall. Lucretia used ‘walk like you’re ready to murder’ and it was super effective; not a single person tried to stop her to voice any questions or concerns, and she soon was in the elevator descending into the brig.

There were six standard cells in the brig, only one of them occupied. These did not interest her. She walked past the last cell (currently containing a sleeping Robbie) to a door with a key code lock set in the back wall. She punched in the seven-digit code, her mouth a tight line, and the door opened to reveal a descending staircase.

The stairs went down three flights before opening into a large circular chamber, 60 feet in diameter and with a 20-foot ceiling. In the center of the room, taking up most of the space, was a large white circle, the border made of intricate magical runes. Lucretia set her staff against the wall, took a small jar of paint and a fine brush out of her components pouch, and began carefully combing the room, looking for any sigils or runes that looked the slightest bit worn. This room was full of wards, and she needed them to be perfect.

Once Lucretia was satisfied with her search, she set her bag down on the ground and removed the Umbra Staff. Her hands had begun to shake a bit as she stared down at the umbrella, her friend’s creation, the only thing they had left of Lup. She started to lift it out in front of her, then instead hugged it tightly to her chest, her body almost curling around it.

“Please,” she whispered to herself. “Please be right.” Then Lucretia held the Umbra Staff out in front of her, so it was fully behind the line of the circle. With a little magic strengthening her hands, she snapped it in two.

A shockwave shot out of the broken handle, and Lucretia was sent flying. She hit the wall as she fell, her head slamming back hard and leaving her dazed. And in the air, there was a woman’s laughter, loud and joyous.

Lucretia looked up and saw a column of fire entirely filling the circle. After a moment, the flames dispersed, and in the center of the room was a floating red robe, a vibrant specter with arms thrown wide as she spun and laughed.

“Lup,” Lucretia croaked, tears instantly beginning to stream down her cheeks and a wide smile stretching across her face. Her friend turned towards the sound, and even though Lup currently didn’t have a face, Lucretia knew she was beaming.

“Lucretia!” Lup cried, and the red robe rushed forward as if to throw her incorporeal arms around the other woman.

This course of action was stopped as Lup suddenly hit a wall—more specifically, the edge of the circle. The lich paused, hood tilted in confusion, then lifted a hand, pressing against the invisible barrier and failing to pass through.

Immediately, all levity was sucked out of the room as the two women remembered where they were. It was silent for a long moment, the two just staring at each other. Then, Lucretia was struggling to her feet, words tumbling from her mouth before she knew what to do with them.

“Lup, I—I’m so glad. You were gone for so long and—Taako and Barry, they—you just vanished and we had no idea what—fuck, Lup, it’s so good to see you.” Back on solid footing, Lucretia stepped forward, careful now of the boundary between them.

“It’s good to be seen,” Lup agreed with false cheer. “You know what would be even more good? If I wasn’t trapped in a magic anti-lich circle. Think you could do something about that, babe? Then I could come and hug you, then my brother and the boys, and then I could go find Barry? Whomst hasn’t seen me in years?”

“…Lup, you know why I can’t do that, I—wait a second, how much do you know?” Lup shrugged.

“You know, it’s a little hard to know things when you’re trapped in a magic umbrella and every moment of exterior awareness is one you have to struggle and fight for, but I think I have an idea. You’re determined to do your shield plan, so you fed our memories to Fisher so the team couldn’t stop you. Now, you have everyone but Barry helping you collect the relics. Oh! And you’ve also convinced everyone that the ‘red robes’ are evil, power-hungry mages to be feared and despised. Is that about right?”

Lup’s cheery voice grew a bit harsher as she continued, small red sparks starting to shoot off her shoulders and bounce off the walls of her containment. “Obviously there’s more to it than Fisher since the boys drank the Kool-Aid and yet my own fucking brother doesn’t recognize my name when I magically carve it into a wall for him—but do I have the general idea?”

Lucretia abruptly sat down on the ground, about a foot from the circle. Lup looked down at her, clearly surprised, the sparks flying off her sizzling out. After a moment, Lup floated down and joined her.

“Lucretia,” Lup said, her voice firm but not unkind. “Talk to me.”

And Lucretia did. Lucretia told Lup everything. Everything she had been keeping to herself for 12 long, lonely years came rushing out, and it was such a relief. A bad idea—obviously. But it had been too long since Lucretia had talked to a friend who knew her, who knew what they all had been through. Lucretia wanted to share, and Lup deserved an explanation. And, as long as Lucretia did her job right, it wouldn’t matter what Lup knew.

Lup was quiet and attentive as Lucretia told her tale, only interrupting once as Lucretia explained her ordeal in Wonderland.

“Okay, that—that makes sense. I was really wondering, cause I’m not great with human aging, and Magnus looks older but not that much older. I was wondering if it might be job stress, in which case we’d really need to kidnap you for a vacation.” A wet chuckle from Lucretia. “But, uh, that makes sense.” Gently, “I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”

Lucretia finished her story, and Lup took the opportunity to give her own account about why she disappeared, what she was trying to do and what had kept her. Lucretia had to stop herself from leaning over the line to hug Lup as she described her death and captivity.

After, the two sat in silence, absorbing all that had been said. Lup broke the quiet first.

“Lucretia… Taako doesn’t remember me. You made everyone forget everybody, I know that, but the others still got to keep themselves. They’ve all been alone before. But Taako and I have been together since day one. My brother is my heart and I am his and you made him forget.” The pain in Lup’s voice was like a lance to Lucretia’s chest.

“Lup, I am so sorry, I am so sorry, but please understand—I agonized over what to do with your memory. I never wanted to take you away from Taako, but I couldn’t see any other way. If I had edited around you—Taako, you used to have a sister that went missing one day—you know he would have never stopped looking. He would have looked for you, and he would have gotten himself killed doing so.” Lucretia paused, took a deep breath.

“I… considered planting a false memory where you had existed but died—so he would at least know you, at least remember that he hadn’t always been alone, but… Gods, Lup, losing you was so hard. We had every reason to hope that you were still out there somewhere, and it was still so hard. I can’t imagine waking up and knowing that I would never see you again. To do that to Taako on top of everything else he’d lose…” Something like a snort came from the red hood.

“Yeah, no, thanks for not retroactively fridging me, that was probably a good call.” Despite the flippant words, Lup’s voice was heavy with emotion as she looked away. Lucretia thought she heard a sniffle, but since Lup didn’t have bodily fluids that was probably her imagination. The silence stretched on once again while Lup seemed to settle herself. Finally, she looked back and held Lucretia’s gaze.

“I understand what you are doing and why you are doing it,” she began. “We can talk more about it later. Right now, you need to let me go; I have to find Barry.”

“Lup…”

“Lucretia, Barry is straight up not having a good time. Have you heard how he talked to the boys? He sounds fucking bananas! He’s alone, his family fears him, and he doesn’t know where I am or if I’m even okay. For someone whose sanity is kind of entirely dependent on his close personal relationships, that is a very dangerous place to be. You know this.”

“Lup, I can’t. You and Barry together are virtually unstoppable, and I must stop this. I’m sorry, but I can’t have you getting in my way.” Lup stared at Lucretia for a long moment.

“You’re really okay with this?” Lup asked. Her voice was low and calm, but it was a bit of a wasted effort. Red lightning was skittering off the surface of her cloak, and as she continued to speak, the intensity only grew, until the inside of the circle was like a bottled storm. “You’re okay with knowingly letting your brother, my husband, suffer and possibly lose himself for the sake of this plan?”

“For the sake of the world, Lup.” Another bolt, this one powerful enough to send thunder rolling through the room. Lucretia stood up, knees protesting, and Lup rose with her.

“And no, I’m not.” The lightning stopped. “I—I won’t let you leave, but on this one matter I won’t keep Barry in the dark. I’ll find some way to contact him and let him know that you’re alright.” Lup’s shoulders slumped, her relief palpable, but she was obviously far from happy.

“Lucretia, please let me go to him.” But Lucretia just shook her head.

“Barry’s lasted this long without knowing what happened to you. I’m sure hearing that you’re okay will be more than enough to keep him going.” Lucretia picked up the broken remains of the umbrella and retrieved her staff. “He won’t have to wait long. In just a few months, this will all be over, and everyone can be together again.”

Lucretia allowed herself one final look at her long lost friend, now her prisoner. She said, “I’ll come visit you soon,” then left.

She’d honestly forgotten about Robbie’s existence during all that hubbub, but as she passed the threshold of the stairs, he was quick to remind her.

“Hey, uh, Director, what’s going on? I heard some crazy noises and—whoa, are you okay?” Lucretia had also forgotten that she still had tear stains on her face and only just noticed the dried blood she could feel on her neck—probably from when she hit her head. She did not acknowledge Robbie beyond the slightest pause in her steps and instead continued straight to the elevator.

“Wait, Director! How much longer are you going to keep me down here? Can I at least—” and then the doors closed. In the privacy of the elevator, she cast Prestidigitation to make herself presentable, and then she was going up.

***

Back in her office, Lucretia stared down at her spell book, deliberating.

The thing was, she had tried to find Barry before. She spent months looking for him when he first went missing, and every time she found a lead the trail would go cold; eventually she stopped finding even that much. When he finally showed himself in Captain Captain Bain’s office, she looked again, and still found nothing. None of the divination magic she knew went through, and she could never find any rumors of red robed ghosts floating around. (Not that Lucretia really expected either of those to work; she knew Barry had wards to protect from scrying, and he wouldn’t be stupid enough to just let random people see him unless he’d already lost himself.)

So, she could not send him a physical message. The Sending spell, however, should work. It allowed the caster to mentally send a short message to anyone they knew anywhere in the universe, though there was a small chance of failure if the recipient was on a different plane. It was the basis for the Stones of Farspeech, but in this case you didn’t need to have the recipient’s frequency.

Course of action decided, Lucretia pulled out a sheet of paper to help her figure out how to word the spell… and proceeded to horribly overthink it. She had crossed out 20 different versions of the same message before she had to remind herself that she did have other work she needed to get to, stop finding reasons to put this off. And it was a form of procrastination.

What she was about to do made her very nervous. Lucretia wasn’t used to sharing information when she wasn’t in control anymore, and she hadn’t spoken to Barry in a decade. She missed him terribly, but she doubted he’d be happy to hear from her. Well, he’d probably be happy to hear about Lup, not so much the part where he didn’t get to see her.

Lucretia picked up the paper and burned it in her hand. She needed to get this over with.

“Davenport, I’ll be right back.”

“Davenport!”

Lucretia went into her personal chambers where no one could see what she was doing. She took a few deep breaths, lifted her staff, and cast the spell. Then, she waited for a response. And waited. And kept waiting. She waited until she could feel the panic settling in.

Why wasn’t he replying? The spell hadn’t failed, she felt it send. Was he sleeping and—no, no, liches don’t sleep. Was he on a different plane and her spell was unlucky? Maybe the wards Barry used kept any long-distance spells from acting on him, not just divination?

…Or maybe it was too late. Maybe Lup was right to be concerned, and Barry was in no state to reply to her message.

She cast the spell again, the same message. Nothing.

Lucretia had a hand over her mouth, the other gripping her staff tightly. No, it wouldn’t do to speculate. Either Barry was fine, or he wasn’t; she couldn’t do anything with the later, so assume the former. Sending wasn’t working, that she knew. She’d just have to try something else.

Lucretia returned to her office and tried to refocus on the many demands required of the Director, but her mind kept circling back to one point; what would she tell Lup?

***

Angus held his Interceptor Book in his lap, brow furrowed, his eyes running over the lines again and again.

“I found Lup. She’s safe. You’ll see her again when this done. I love you. Don’t interfere.” Sent twice, then nothing. Angus looked up with a frown on his face, thinking.

Taako’s staff shoots the letters L-U-P into a wall. The Director shows unusual concern. A few hours later, ‘I found Lup’ appears in his book (something that must have been sent with a spell and not a stone or else it wouldn’t have been intercepted).

He didn’t know enough to even begin coming to any conclusions… but maybe he wouldn’t be keeping the Director updated after all. Not yet. This may go deeper than he thought.

[falseroar]

Silver and Peppermint (Part 4)

((Part 4 of a fantasy AU, with Monster Hunter Abe teaming up with a reluctant DA to track down a murderous werewolf. After failing to shoot the wolf he saw last night, Abe takes the DA to check on the first of their three main suspects. Who...might be familiar to anyone who’s read some of my other stuff with Abe and Y/N. Also, hints of DA/Detective in this one, at least from Abe’s side.

Links to Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, and the Epilogue.))

“We should swing by the station first,” Abe said once they were outside. “Lenore should be back with those papers by now. Maybe they’ll mean something to you.”

“Possibly,” the District Attorney said. “Hopefully it can be more useful than what I found last night.”

“You couldn’t find anything to connect our five?” Abe asked.

“More like I found everything,” they answered. “Franklin’s bank served as the default mortgager for our real estate victim, who sold our grocer his new house, who made a large public donation to Garroway’s theatre last year, as did Haywood’s company, who was angling for a contract to build the bank’s new branch on the other side of the city, and so on. All perfectly legal, and nothing to hint at any kind of animosity between the five of them. As for ‘Honest’ John, his business is registered with the city and from the records when he sued the occasional client for defaulting on a loan, he has rates that are well below loan shark levels. Business seems to be booming, and he’s clearly not afraid to take someone to court if they don’t pay up.”

“So, we’ve got plenty of connections but no obvious motive,” Abe said. “Aside from our victims’ letter.”

“’If we stand together, he cannot take us all,’” the District Attorney quoted, word for word Abe was sure. What he wouldn’t do for a memory like that. “Which would lean toward Franklin or John.”

“Assuming they were suspecting the right person,” Abe said. “Even they didn’t sound sure if they could trust the others in their group. Could be our killer isn’t acting on their own.”

He thought again of that wolf in the alley. Maybe he should have mentioned it to the Mayor or to the District Attorney, but with the Mayor on edge he wasn’t about to admit he had a werewolf in his sights and missed. As for the DA, well they thought little enough of him as it was without giving them any more reason to doubt what he was capable of.

Still, there had clearly been two wolves out last night, one trying to get into Marcus’s apartment to attack his girl and his roommate at the same time the other was sniffing out Franklin’s place, maybe looking for a way to get in at yet another target.

He wondered which wolf was to blame when they arrived at the police station to find Lenore, apologetic and empty-handed.

“I swear it was there last night, but the folder with all of Marcus’s paperwork, it’s like it’s just gone,” she said. “Stephen and I went through the whole apartment, but we couldn’t find it anywhere. It’s a bright blue company folder, it’s hard to miss and I could have sworn I left it in his room, but we were so freaked out last night and ran out so fast…”

But it wasn’t the sort of thing you’d hold on to when you’re running for your life, not without a reason. If the werewolf had broken down the apartment door, literally anyone could have walked in at any point during the rest of the night and taken it.

“Would anyone have a reason to steal it?” the District Attorney asked, clearly thinking the same thing. “What kind of paperwork was in it?”

“I mean, I just flipped through it, but most of it was copies of receipts and spreadsheets. Marcus was in charge of balancing the budget at the end of every month, so sometimes he’d have to double check what we paid for this or that, but it’s not like company secrets or anything,” Lenore answered. “As far as we can tell nothing else is missing. I’m sorry, we’ll keep looking, but I thought you should know.”

“So that lead’s a total bust,” Abe muttered later, once they were back outside and walking to the first suspect’s house.

“Not entirely,” the District Attorney said. “It looks like you were right to ask about his papers, because someone was interested enough to take them. That may be why your werewolf visited them last night and went to all the trouble of scaring them off. That’s another big deviation from the first three victims, and again because of Marcus. Or in this case, something he possessed.”

“He must have known something, or at least the werewolf thought he did.” Abe rubbed his chin as he walked, eyes darting up and down the street even as his thoughts circled around the idea. “The werewolf tries to get in as a wolf, no doubt trying to hide its identity, and rushes the door when it realizes the kids are inside to scare them out. It didn’t bother with killing them before they got to the cops, because they weren’t the target.”

Except it had still chased them, and circled the group last night with every apparent intention of killing them, at least according to the cops and the kids. Had it been considering disposing of all five of them then? Or had it just been playing with them, feeding off of their fear just as it had Marcus before the kill?

Abe shook himself a little to dispel that train of thought and continued, “Fat lot of good that does us, if it’s in the killer’s hands now.”

The District Attorney surprised him with a rare smile as they asked, “We’ll see about that. Tell me, how are you at bluffing?”

They went to ‘Honest’ John’s house first, on the assumption that after last night he would be the least likely to expect to start off his day with a few questions. It helped that he lived within a few blocks of the police station, but when they reached the front door they almost walked straight into the man himself on his way out.

Because they were still on the steps, both had to look up to see the face of the man who towered over them. Clean shaven and neat in his appearance, from his close-trimmed hair and tailored suit down to his shiny shoes, Abe would have guessed him to be the banker of the group. After a moment of surprise, the man slipped into an easy, practiced smile and asked, “Can I help you?”

“Name’s Abe, and right now all you need to know is I’m working for the city. This is—”

“Y/N,” John said, his smile growing wider when he saw their surprise. “The District Attorney. I’ve seen your face in the papers, of course. Can I say, I appreciate what you and our Mayor have been doing for the city so far?”

“You can say whatever you want,” they responded stiffly. “We have some questions for you, so if we could step inside…”

“I’m afraid I was just heading into work,” John said, stepping fully outside and shutting the door behind him as he did so. “Could we talk on the way there?”

“Look, we can talk in the middle of traffic as long as you answer our questions,” Abe said and the man nodded before turning to lock the door. While his back was to them, Abe shot the District Attorney a look, but their eyes were sizing up John, a frown tugging at the corner of their mouth until he turned around.

“Forgive me, my manners are lacking,” John said and he stuck a hand out in Abe’s direction. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Abe…?”

It was a salesman’s greeting, the hand turned to put his on top. Abe knew that trick, and in response he grasped the hand with both of his own.

“Lincoln.”

“Abe Lincoln,” John said, his left hand moving forward to touch Abe’s forearm so that now this handshake was far too friendly for Abe’s liking. A smile that didn’t reach his eyes, maybe even a laugh escaped as he added, “John Booth, at your service.”

The handshake showed no sign of stopping until the District Attorney made a sound at that, at which point John let go and turned to them.

“I think you two have done enough handshaking for all of us,” they said, firmly planting both hands in their pockets just in case and ignoring the hearty laugh from John at that. “Let’s skip straight to the point. Did you know Mr. Alex Haywood, of Haywood Construction?”

“If you’ve come to question me about him, then I can only suppose you already know he had taken out a loan with my company,” John answered. He gave a heavy sigh and said, “I’m afraid I didn’t know him well, but I was sad to hear of his passing, especially in such a…brutal manner.”

He stood there, eyes downcast and shoulders slumped, before he seemed to remember that he had been going somewhere. He gestured for them to walk alongside him, and with his long gait keeping him slightly ahead he began to lead them down the street.

“Yeah, I know you must be real sad about losing that loan,” Abe said.

“Not particularly. It wasn’t a large amount, and even then, there is a good chance his estate will cover the loss. No, I am more disturbed by the rumors going around concerning Alex’s death, especially with the Mayor’s sudden call for a curfew.” John’s eyes shifted to Abe, looking him up and down before adding to the District Attorney, “I suppose the rumors must be true, if the city is hiring hunters now.”

“Two other clients of yours have also been recently murdered,” the District Attorney said, ignoring his remarks. “It would seem you’ve been unlucky in your choice of loans, Mr. Booth.”

“Three respectable members of the community, who by all means should have been trustworthy debtors. It’s not the most pleasant coincidence,” John agreed. “I am more than aware how it looks, Y/N, but what reason would I have to harm the very people my livelihood depends on? To be honest, I was rather hoping to hear you had some answer of your own for why this keeps happening.”

The District Attorney looked away, but Abe saw how John studied their reaction, just as he had noticed how the man couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of his partner since they left the house, as though fascinated by the way they moved. Abe knew having himself and the District Attorney on either side of the man to flank him was the best way to keep an eye on him and put that much more pressure on the suspect, but at the moment he wanted nothing more than to insert himself between the two of them.

Instead, he cleared his throat and, when John glanced his way as if having forgotten he was even there, said, “We know exactly what we’re looking for, and that’s why we’re talking to you now. Isn’t that right, Par—er, Y/N?”

“…That’s correct,” they said, a new steel in their voice as they fixed John with an even, unblinking stare, heedless of where they were walking. “The night before last, an employee of Alex Haywood was murdered. We know that he had company records in his possession, and some of these records were more…questionable than others. As someone financially related to Haywood, you’ll understand why we wish to see any and everything you have related to his company.”

“Is that so?” John tried to keep up the same tone of speech, but Abe could feel the way he tensed. Then again, anyone would tense up if face to face with the District Attorney’s stare, that quiet blanket of seriousness loosely wrapped around a sharp wire that felt ready to snap and lash out at anyone foolish enough to trip it. “Then please, allow me to give you a copy of our records regarding Haywood. I’m afraid it’s not much, but if it can be of any help to you…”

No one should be smiling like that right now, Abe thought as John unlocked his office door and let them in, not at my—Not at a time like this.

Feeling guilty at even the cut-off thought that strayed across his mind, Abe turned his attention to the small, well-decorated office, and immediately almost knocked over a potted plant on one of the desks while John went to one of the locked filing cabinets and pulled out Haywood’s file, then the files for the other two victims when the District Attorney reminded him.

When John handed over the folder with the copies inside, his gaze lingered on the District Attorney’s face and he took a deep breath before smiling again and saying, “I look forward to seeing you again, Y/N.”

Their eyes met his for just a second, their brows narrowing as they pulled the folder out of his hand with a little more force than was necessary before walking out without another word. Abe couldn’t stop a proud smile at that as he turned to follow.

“The same goes for you, hunter. Feel free to come see me if there’s anything I can do to help you find your wolf.”

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again,” Abe said before shutting the door behind him, hoping that sounded better out loud than it did in his head as he walked away.

It took almost half a block to catch up and fall in step with the District Attorney, who seemed so caught up in their own thoughts and examining the contents of the folder that he doubted they even noticed his absence. He had to repeat himself two or three times before they finally looked up and asked, “What?”

“I said, that John guy was too ready to help us out. No one’s ever that helpful without a reason.”

“It could be because he knows there’s nothing incriminating in these documents,” they answered, looking down at the papers again. Despite their distraction, they managed to navigate a hole in the sidewalk and easily sidestepped a man and his dog standing on the corner, although Abe had to grab their elbow to keep them from walking straight out into traffic. “There’s nothing here that stands out on its own, unfortunately.”

“Then we keep digging,” Abe said. He looked around, trying to take stock of the city in daylight. “We’re near the banker’s house, right? If anyone would want to keep a record of his dealings…”

A butler answered the door at Mr. Franklin’s house and nearly shut it in Abe’s face before the District Attorney flashed some documents, at which point he, reluctantly, invited them into the sitting room. It was a neat trick, and as Abe paced around the room he thought to himself that if there were ever a next job for the city then he would have to ask for a badge of his own. Nothing too fancy, just with enough of a shine to make people think twice about questioning his presence long enough to find what he was looking for.

“Please do not touch that, it is a rare piece by Asteas himself,” came a rebuke from the doorway, catching Abe just as he started to reach out his hand.

“Really? It just looks like a vase,” Abe said, pulling his hand back all the same. “Not even a good one, I’ve seen elementary school kids make better.”

“Be that as it may,” said the posh voice behind him, “It’s worth more than you would make in a lifetime, I’m sure.”

Well, now Abe wanted nothing more than to knock it off its stand. Resisting that urge, he turned to face the gentleman at the door. Well, gentleman in theory, although Mr. Franklin looked more like a reformed hippie pressed into wearing a suit, not helped by the fact he was wearing sandals. He was a stout man with a neatly trimmed beard and long hair pulled back into a bun, and he gave Abe an owlish stare behind a pair of ridiculously small glasses.

Franklin gave a heavy sigh. “Has there been another murder?”

Abe narrowed his eyes. “That’s an oddly specific question.”

“Not as odd as when a group of police officers knocked on my door at three in the morning to ask if I was dead, a werewolf, or both.”

Abe tried very hard not to look at the District Attorney for fear of seeing how they reacted to that. Instead, he said, “Well, at least we can rule out one of those options for now. Where were you and what were you doing last night?”

“In bed, and sleeping. Well, until the knocking started,” the banker answered, but he took a hasty step back when Abe crossed the room and encroached on his personal space.

“Oh, really?” Abe asked. “Then care to explain why I saw a werewolf sniffing around outside your house last night? Because it seemed real interested in you.”

The District Attorney made a noise at that, briefly reminding Abe that he had forgotten to share that little detail before now, but that thought went straight out the door when Franklin gave a choked sob and fell against the door frame as though no longer able to support himself.

“It’s coming for me,” he gasped out, one hand clutching his shirt so hard that at least one button had come undone or snapped straight off. “No, no, I told them, I told them I’d have nothing to do with it, why—”

He gave another choked sob and Abe rolled his eyes at the District Attorney to show what he thought of this act.

“Yeah, I’m sure you did, pal. Now why don’t you start naming names and we can actually get somewhere?”

“Uh, Abe…” The District Attorney started, but he gave them a shushing motion. He could handle this one.

The banker’s face turned red as he began to wheeze, his words stuttering and indecipherable.

“Come on, buddy, we don’t have all day,” Abe said and caught the banker as he started to slide to the ground.

Caught his sweating, shaking body as another gasping wheeze came out.

“Uh…Pal?” Abe asked as the District Attorney pushed past him, a single shout into the hall rousing the butler as they crossed over to the phone and began to dial.

((End of Part 4. Thank you for reading! ...In my defense, I wrote this before I had even considered doing anything for Goretober, much less that John might make a reappearance there.

Link to Part 5.

Tagging: @silver-owl413 @skyewardlight ​ @withjust-a-bite @blackaquokat  @catgirlwarrior  @neverisadork  @luna1350 @oh-so-creepy  @purpstraw @weirdfoxalley @95fangirl  @lilalovesinternet-l @thepoolofthedead  @a-bit-dapper @randomartdudette  @geekymushroom @cactipresident @hotcocoachia @purple-anxiety-blog @shyinspiredartist @avispate ))

[detectiveharmony]

How I Planned My Wedding

  Hi guys! I realize this isn't normally the sort of thing I write. Usually, I write book advice that has to deal with writing, editing, publishing novels, and everything in between! But as I have recently been married, I thought I would release the secrets of dark magic I conjured in order to plan my wedding.

1. Set a Budget

   The first thing is first. Set a budget. If you ask yourself if this is really necessary, yes, it is. It is 1000% necessary. While you are setting a budget, I would also get a binder to make your wedding binder. Whether you want to or not, you are going to be purchasing a lot of things for your wedding, and it's best to keep all receipts together in case you need to return some things.

   Now, as far as setting a budget goes, I just downloaded a free spreadsheet online and printed it out. If you don't want to print one out, there are a lot of websites that have online budgeting and spreadsheets. Weddingwire.com and the Knot App were especially helpful for me because they had super helpful checklists plus budgeting, registry trackers, and online RSVP. I kept budgets on everything I made. My printed budget looked something like this:

   I didn't use all of the spaces, but it at least kept me on track. The goal is to set the absolute most you are willing (and have the ability to) spend on any certain thing. This was sort of a game for me. I'd set the amount, and see for how much cheaper I could get it, with quality, in reason. Mine and Josh's total wedding budget was around 11K. I think we actually ended up spending around 7K. A lot of our services were gifts from friends, and for that I'll be forever grateful. Which brings me to my next point:

2. Find Talented Friends Who Are Willing to Help

   I would first and foremost like to say that just because you have a photographer friend does not mean you should go up to said photographer friend and blatantly ask them to take pictures of your wedding for free. It's cheap and demeaning to them, especially if that is their only source of income, or if they work a job with low income. Even if they have plenty of money, they are not going to be willing to take 6-10 hours out of their day plus weeks in editing to take pictures of your wedding with no compensation. The same principle applies to other services. What I am meaning is to search out friends who render services, and ask them for quotes. In my experience, 9/10 times they cut us a deal or even offered the service for free as a wedding gift. If you are part of a church family, I would definitely recommend looking there first. In the spirit of the Lord, most people are more than happy to help you for free without you even asking. My church family is where my cake, sound, and officiant services came from, and they were all more than perfect. It's also worth noting that I tipped my friends anyway, even though they didn't ask to be paid, because I really appreciated their services (even though some of them returned the tips and refused any type of payment).

   The talented friend also applies to friends who have also been married before, who are good with money, or good with budgeting if you don't know where to start or how to begin.

3. Set a Guest List

   When you are setting your guest list, it's important to remember that you don't have to (and probably shouldn't) invite everyone you have known since kindergarten or on your Facebook. The more people you have at your wedding, the more expensive it's going to be. In our case, if our guest list exceeded 100 people, our security cost would double, so I tried to keep it at a minimum, only inviting close friends and family. A lot of people didn't understand this, and you'll probably make a lot of people mad in doing so, but it was important for me to cut costs wherever possible. At the time I was financing an 11k wedding by myself on a 20k salary. Long lost cousin Susie wasn't a priority on my guest list. People I hadn't seen or spoken to in years weren't a priority. I gave my husband a pen and paper and told him to invite whoever he wanted, but he also understood that we were trying to save money. Every penny saved helped, and honestly, the day went by so quickly I don't even remember a lot of the people who were there. If people truly care about you, they'll understand that married life is hard and will be eager to help you in any way they can, even if that help is not coming to the wedding. Most of my friends and family were understanding when I explained to them that we didn’t have the money to invite everyone we wanted. And at the end of the day, it's your wedding, nobody else's.

4. Do as Much as You Can Ahead of Time

   If you want to be so stressed out that you are incapacitated, then wait until the last second to book all of your services. I recommend, if you can, to book at least a year ahead of schedule. I didn't, and around four months before my wedding I was wondering how everything was going to get paid for.

  You will end up financing a lot of things, especially the more expensive things. Unless you have boat loads of cash just laying around, of course, and a lot of places will turn you down if you don't have an adequate time frame to finance. The most important of these are the wedding ring, your catering service, the venue, the cake, and your wedding dress. A lot of DJ and music services will also require you to book ahead of time. We did, but I ended up stressing anyway because our DJ canceled on us 2 weeks before the wedding.

  The process of looking for these people is pretty straightforward. I just googled the service I needed and made inquiries until I found someone within my budget. The venue will be slightly different though, as you'll want to tour venues and see which best suits your needs. It's also worth mentioning that before you choose a theme for your wedding, look at venues first. I originally planned for us to have a vintage wedding, but then we got married in a barn in Texas, so it ended up being a country fall wedding.

   The very minimum amount of time you want to have for your dress is six months, unless you are having a friend or family member make your dress. Besides it taking a long time to pick a dress out (for some of us, anyway), bridal boutiques need time to clean and do alterations on your dress. I went with David's Bridal, but I personally wouldn't recommend them. The first time I picked up my dress from cleaning, I was deathly ill, I had to wait for 3 hours after they said it would be done, and when I picked it up and drove almost two hours home, I noticed the next day that my dress had oil stains all down the front of it from the sewing machines. They eventually fixed it, and my dress turned out to be gorgeous, but I would rather not have had that stress, especially when I was running fever and lost my voice. Not to mention the arm and leg I paid for my dress. I know a few who have had similar experiences, but I also know some who have had great experiences with David's Bridal. Either way, it's up to you.

  Weddingwire.com had some great timelines to follow for booking all of your services. If you are past the month mark for booking your services, don't worry about it. I did the bulk of my planning in the last 6 months of my wedding (not recommended).

5. Wedding Shower and Wedding Registries

   I forget how early I made my registries. I think maybe 5 or 6 months in advance. Even if you are already living together and have house stuff, making wedding registries is a good idea because you can update all your stuff, or get new stuff that you've wanted for a while. People are going to buy you gifts regardless, so you may as well have lists people can shop from to avoid ending up with a bunch of duplicate gifts or useless stuff that will just sit in the garage or in the corner of the junk drawer in your kitchen for years to come.

  I registered with a variety of places. Amazon, Target, and Walmart were my top choices. I would especially recommend getting an Amazon registry because a lot of people are last seconders, and prime 1 or 2 day shipping will still give them a way to buy your gift even if it is the last second. Amazon was my most highly trafficked registry. Walmart was second, but a lot of people don't like shopping Walmart online because it can take up to two weeks for items to ship, and even if you go in store, most stores carry different products. Just because they have it online doesn't mean every Walmart (or any Walmart near you) carries it. When making your registries, don't be afraid to put anything and everything you could possibly want or need on there. I wish I had put more stuff on mine because nearly everything got purchased. I amended my registries right before the wedding, but very few gifts were purchased at that time.

   Your wedding shower is typically two months before the wedding, around the same time you send out the official invitations. A lot of people I knew didn't know what a wedding shower was, so here you go: A wedding shower is an event where people bring gifts to the new couple to usher them into their new life together, helping them settle in. No matter what you do, weddings will end up being expensive, and if you buy couples gifts, even small ones, it helps them out a great deal in the long run by helping them save money on house things they won't have to otherwise purchase.

6. Wedding Day Preparation

   Assemble a wedding day crew. Find people who are going to help you set up decorations, organize, direct, and put everything away once the event is over. It's easiest if you assign small duties to everyone who is helping you. I made lists of all my bridesmaids names, plus my grandparents, brother, parents, and aunt, who also came to help me set up. Under each name I wrote what I wanted them to do. It can be simple things like, “Decorate tables,”, “Set up head table,”, “Be in charge of handing out cake after the cake cutting,” or, “Decorate main stage.” Whatever small thing will make it easier for you, designate it to someone you can trust. My family was wonderful and helped me out more than I could ever thank them for.

   I also had a table chart everyone could reference, so when we were moving tables and chairs around, everyone had a picture of what I wanted everything to look like so they knew what I wanted without asking me. It's also important to set a wedding day timeline. Even before the ceremony starts, you want to have given time frames for any activities, including decorating, salon trips for hair and makeup, a love note exchange, or whatever else you want to do before the ceremony and during it. Unless, of course, your venue let's you decorate the night before, which ours didn’t.

7. Last Bits of Advice

   Your wedding day is going to happen one way or the other. Some things are just going to go wrong, and you have to let it happen and not worry about it. You're going to be married at the end of the day anyway.

   Do as much reading as you can on planning a wedding. Every little tip I read helped, and in the end, I think my wedding was perfect. The only thing I would have changed was shortening the ceremony a bit so we would have had more time for family pictures. The wedding itself ended earlier than I thought, but I wasn't going to complain. I was exhausted, and thankful to get to go to bed early.

   As my last piece of advice, turn your phone off on your wedding day and give everyone someone else's phone number to text or call for important questions. I designated my maid of honor for this task, but you could also use your mother or anyone else for this. Turn your phone off on your honeymoon too, or if you can't turn it off, don't answer text messages. And if you are that person who calls or texts on wedding day or honeymoon, unless it's of dire consequence, don't be that person.

Happy wedding planning!