#kinda sad that pride month is over

[vicariouseyes]

As per usual, I return to this website once every *looks at wrist* *insert random duration of time here* as the only place that I feel safe venting about personal issues. Y'know, aside from therapy. (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

Hiii love your writingggg, could you plsss do very innocent!reader and pervy!ethan 🫶🏻

Hiii! I hope you like it, even though you requested this MONTHS ago.

I'm not innocent, so I'm not the best at writing it🙃 Hopefully this is okay:)

Creep - Pervy!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: You ask Ethan for help in econ, and once Mindy mentions the empty bedroom in the apartment she shares with Ethan and Chad, you agree to move in. But you realize that your sweet, dorky new roommate has been stealing your panties.

Contains: Pervy kinda creepy Ethan, innocent inexperienced reader, fingering. m!masturbation.

A/N: Okay...this needs a part 2 but I'm already at 5k words lmao. A lot of fics I've read along these lines had had Ethan more subby, but not in this one. 👀

*For the poll I posted earlier today, this one had the most votes at the time of me posting this fic. I'm going to write them all in the order that they're wanted:)*

It seemed like your life was starting to fall apart. You couldn’t stand your roommate, your boyfriend had broken up with you, and your grade for econ was starting to tank. When you brought up your grade to your professor after class, hoping to figure out some way to raise it, she suggested that you talk to Ethan Landry.

The next time you had class, you beelined towards him once he walked in. He noticed you, getting a little nervous the closer you got. He wasn’t the best at talking to girls, he even thought this could’ve been a figment of his imagination that the girl he struggled to take his eyes off was walking to him. He was chewing the inside of his cheek, his eyes not leaving you until you were finally face to face.

“Ethan, right?” you sweetly said, as he nodded. “I hear you’re the best for tutoring, and I desperately need your help if you have the time.”

“I’ll make the time,” he spat out, before he internally screamed at himself for sounding so desperate to help. “I mean, I can help you.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” you said, as you pulled out your phone. “What’s your number?”

“Oh, um…” he trailed off, racking his brain for those ten digits that he suddenly forgot. “I’m sorry, it’s been a long day.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled, “Are you okay with me just giving you my number and you can text me so we can set something up?”

“Yeah,” he said, as he pulled out his phone and went to create a new contact. He passed you his phone as you typed in your name and number, before you handed it back to him.

“Don’t forget to text me,” you said, a sweet smile playing on your lips as you turned to walk back to your seat.

“I won’t,” he said, tightly gripping his phone in his hand as you turned to smile at him once more.

He was struggling to focus as he sat through that class. His fingers kept rubbing over the phone screen that your thumbs had moved across, and he started to realize how pathetic he was for already being so addicted to you when you’d only spoken to him once.

Later that week, you were supposed to meet Ethan in the library to study. You both completely forgot about the renovations they were doing, the normally quiet space filled with the loud sounds of the various pieces of machinery on the opposite side of the room.

“Maybe we should try to do this some other time,” you yelled over the noise. “I can’t concentrate on anything you’re saying.”

“Oh, okay,” Ethan said, looking down so you wouldn’t see the sad look on his face. That’s when he started to get an idea. “My apartment is only two blocks away. It should be quieter. You want to come over to study?”

You liked to be cautious, and you normally wouldn’t go to someone’s apartment that you barely knew, but Ethan seemed innocent enough, and you desperately needed to pass the class so you wouldn’t have to take it again.

“Sure,” you said, wincing as the noise in the room got louder.

You walked beside Ethan as you went to his apartment, and even though it was just for studying, he felt a glint of pride as he walked with you. He hoped that anyone who saw you together would think you were his.

“Hopefully my roommates won’t be too loud,” Ethan sighed, as he stuck his key in the front door.

“Nothing is worse than what’s going on in the library right now,” you said, as he shrugged.

“You say that now…”

You barely made it inside when you heard arguing. Ethan sighed in defeat before he turned to you, “I moved in with my friends, and they’re constantly arguing.”

“Oh,” you giggled, as you followed him into the living room of the apartment. “Oh, hey Mindy,” you said, as she turned to you and smiled.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” she asked, as she walked over to you. Chad just stood there, still worked up from the spat they were having when you walked in.

“Ethan’s trying to help me not fail econ,” you said, as she nodded.

“I remember you mentioning you were having trouble with it.”

Ethan was confused as he stood there, because Mindy had never mentioned you, but she seemed to know you quite well. The two of you talked for a few minutes, and once Ethan heard another guy’s name get mentioned, he immediately got jealous.

“I’m proud of you for not giving him another chance,” Mindy said, as you let out a small laugh.

“I’m not going to say I didn’t think about it, but I don’t need him making my life any harder than it needs to be right now,” you sighed, “On top of the bullshit with him, my roommate is just so awful. Like, she woke me up blasting music before the sun even came up today. I’m trying to find somewhere else to live, but I haven’t had any luck yet.”

“Well, we’re looking for a fourth roommate…” Mindy trailed off, as Ethan’s eyes grew wide. “It’d be nice to have another girl here.”

“Don’t tempt me,” you joked, as Mindy smiled.

“Seriously, think about it,” she said, before she started to yell. “Chad!”

You noticed that the other boy was no longer in the room, but you saw him again as he turned the corner and groaned. “What?”

“Okay, don’t be rude,” she snapped, “I’m trying to convince her to move into the fourth bedroom.”

“Oh,” Chad said, his annoyed face turning up in a smile. “Hey, I’m Chad.”

“Hey,” you said, before he started to go over rent and other things you’d need to know. “Why would I want to move in when you two argue like this?” you joked, as Chad tried to play it off.

“We shared a womb, we lived in the same house until we moved into our dorms, and I finally got a break from her,” he said, as she scoffed, “But now we have to live together again and we’re trying to figure out how to do that.”

“I’ve never lived with boys before…and I’m sure my parents would kill me if they ever found out, but I’ll definitely think about it,” you said, before you turned to Ethan. “I’m sorry, you want to study now?”

“Yeah, let’s go to my room,” he said, as he led you there.

You both got settled on his bed. He sat across from you, his back against the headboard as you adjusted to get more comfortable, laying on your stomach. He bit his lip once he noticed the perfect view he had down your shirt, the neckline barely covering anything as your chest was pressed against his bed.

“So, where should we start?” you asked, your soft voice barely getting his attention as he kept staring at your chest. He wanted to squeeze your boobs, suck on them, fuck them, even. “Ethan?” you questioned as you looked away from your notebook, and opened your laptop, completely blocking the sight he was fantasizing over.

“Oh, uh…” he said, as he opened his laptop. “Maybe let’s work on the quiz that’s due this weekend. It’ll show me what you do and don’t need help with.”

You spent over an hour studying with Ethan, and you felt like you were having a little bit of a better understanding. You were starting to get hungry, so you closed your laptop. Ethan glanced over his screen the second he noticed, getting another peak down your shirt again. This time, he saw a part of one of your nipples peaking out of your bra, the sight making his pants grow tighter. He fought off the sound that was threatening to come out before you sat up, once again taking his perfect view away from him.

“I’m starving,” you said, as you started to put your stuff away. “But thank you so much for your help, and I hope you’ll want to keep helping me. You’re my only hope.”

He softly chuckled at your words, “If you move in, we can study whenever you want.”

“You’d be cool with it?” you asked, smiling at him. “You didn’t really say anything out there and I didn’t want to actually start considering it until you said something.”

“Yeah, I think it’s cool,” he said, “If you do want to, and you need help moving or anything, let me know.”

“Thanks, Ethan,” you said, smiling again before you made your way out of his room.

He wanted to walk you to the door, but he knew the second he stood up, his hard cock would be so obvious. He ran his hand over the spot you were laying on the bed, your warmth still soaked up by his comforter. The view down your shirt was burned in his brain as he got up and walked over to the door, shutting and locking it before he dropped his pants to give his aching cock the attention it desperately needed.

The next time you had econ, you walked in and sat down beside Ethan. He didn’t notice at first, but he soon smelled the familiar scent that he couldn’t get out of his head after you’d left his apartment a few days before. He wasn’t sure if it was your hair or the perfume you were wearing, but it smelled delicious.

“Hey,” he smiled, his pupils growing large as he saw you. “Are you okay?”

He took in the stress on your face, and how tired you looked.

“Yeah, are you sure you’re cool with me moving in?” you asked, “Because I can’t deal with my roommate anymore.”

“Yeah, of course,” he said, “What happened?”

“She invites her boyfriend to stay over whenever she doesn’t have class the next morning,” you sighed, “I don’t want to explain all the sounds I had to listen to while I tried to sleep last night.”

“Oh,” he said softly, “Well, your room would be beside mine, and I wouldn’t keep you up all night.”

“I bet that’s why I’m failing this class right now. I never sleep,” you said, as you looked over to him. “Wait, you don’t have a girlfriend that stays over?”

“No,” he said, his cheeks turning pink at your question.

“Sex is overrated,” you shrugged, “But I really thought you would’ve had a girlfriend.”

“Really?” he asked, as your professor walked in.

“Yeah, you’re a cutie,” you smiled, before you directed your attention to the lecture.

Ethan was thankful that you were so focused and didn’t see the cheesy smile on his face. The girl he’d been thinking about as he jerked his cock for the last few days called him cute, and his heart was swelling.

After a couple weeks, Ethan, Chad, and Mindy showed up to the apartment you currently lived in while your roommate was at her boyfriend’s to help you move.

“First, I want you guys to know that none of this mess is mine,” you said, as soon as you answered the front door for them.

“Whoa,” Chad said as he glanced around. “There’s no way you live with a girl.”

“Yeah, you’ll never guess what I found on the kitchen floor this morning,” you said, as Mindy started to think.

“With the mess, I’m going to guess…dead mouse?”

“Not even close,” you said, as you shook your head and shuddered as you thought about it. “It was a condom.”

“Like…in the wrapper or…?” Chad asked, as you, once again, shook your head.

“Used.”

“Ewwww,” Mindy said, cringing at the thought.  “Okay, is anything in the kitchen yours?”

“I already boxed that stuff up. Except the dishes that she’s refused to wash,” you said, as you led them to the living room. “The TV is mine, and that lamp,” you said, as you pointed, “But other than that, I really just have to worry about my room.”

“I think it’d be best to have all the heavy stuff in the living room so Ethan and I can worry about that,” Chad said, as you nodded and led them down the hall.

You had already packed up most of your room, which made it so easy for your new roommates to help you. Once Chad was carrying your mattress out and Mindy had ran out to get coffee, Ethan started to glance around your room. He noticed the hamper full of clothes in the corner, and he found himself inching closer towards it as he listened to you and Chad talk in the living room. Before he could stop himself, he grabbed a shirt off the top of the pile, inhaling its scent. He let out a deep breath before he went to put the shirt back in the hamper, before he noticed some black lace sticking out under a pair of your jeans. He snatched it out of the basket and put it in his pocket before he put the shirt back in it once he heard footsteps coming back down the hall.

“Did you need help with this?” Ethan asked, pointing to the basket, trying to make it not seem like he was being weird.

“Shit, I forgot to do laundry,” you groaned, as the realization hit him that the panties he’d grabbed had been worn. “I’ll carry that out.”

“Okay,” Ethan said, before Chad motioned for him to help with the dresser.

Later that day after you got your stuff moved into your new room, you flopped on your freshly made bed as Mindy popped in.

“So, I’m going to try to convince the guys to share a bathroom so you don’t have to share with Ethan,” she said, as you shrugged.

“It’s not a big deal,” you said, “I just hope he doesn’t mind all the girly stuff in the shower and the makeup and stuff.”

Ethan didn’t mind at all. In fact, he’d already been in the bathroom, smelling your body wash, your shampoo and conditioner. The skincare products you used. He realized that all those things together were the cause of the scent that made his head spin.

Later that night after you had takeout with everyone, Ethan excused himself to go to bed. He couldn’t stop thinking about your panties that were still in his pocket. Once he pulled them out, he ran his fingers over the lace before taking in your scent. He softly groaned before he dropped his pants, the thoughts of his face buried in your pussy making him harder by the second. He had them tightly clutched in his fist as he started to stroke himself with his free hand, small whimpers flying out of his mouth as he tried to imagine how soft your hand would feel wrapped around him. His bottom lip was in between his teeth once he started to get louder, the tip of his cock red as be brought himself closer to the edge. Just as he was about to cum, he deeply inhaled the scent of your panties one more time before he rubbed them against the tip of his cock, his thick, white ropes covering the lace.

You thought living with boys was going to be difficult, but your first month wasn’t bad. You were surprised at how clean they liked everything to be, and Ethan always put the toilet seat down. You started to get close to your dorky roommate, especially once you spent so much time studying together. You already thought he was cute, but once you actually got to know more about him, you realized that he was so sweet, so nice. He might’ve been a little shy, too, but he got to the point where he was doing cute little things to make you laugh.

One day, you went to do your laundry in the apartment. You walked over and were about to throw stuff in when you noticed clothes were already inside, and Ethan quickly rounded the corner with the rest of the stuff he needed to toss in.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said, “You want me to take my stuff out? I can wash it later.”

“No, it’s fine, I’ll wait,” you said with a smile, before you noticed something familiar in the washer. “Oh,” you said, your cheeks turning pink as you reached out and grabbed your panties out of the washer. “Must’ve dropped these in.”

Ethan’s eyes grew wide as he noticed them in your hand, the realization hitting you that they were sticky.

“Eww, what is all over these?” you said, a disgusted look on your face as you tried to figure it out. You looked over to Ethan, his face bright red and his eyes huge, when you pieced it together. “Ethan…”

He just stared at you, the silence deafening as he tried to think of something, anything to say to you. He’d gotten away with stealing your panties for a month, but it was a way for him to feel close to you, and satisfy some of the sexual frustration he had whenever he thought about you.

“What’s on my panties?” you questioned, as he tensed up. “Actually, I don’t think I want to know.”

You tossed them back in the washer and walked past him and headed straight to the bathroom to wash your hands. When you went to your room and shut the door, Ethan huffed and tossed in the rest of stuff that was in his hands before he started the washer.

As the day went by, you couldn’t stop thinking about Ethan, and how you’d noticed that pairs of your panties had been going missing ever since you moved in. But then you’d randomly see them again, in the top drawer of your dresser after a few days. You didn’t think Ethan was like that, and it made you feel a little uneasy to live with him.

Later that night, you had to say something to him. You walked out of your room and glanced around the apartment for him, before you walked to his closed door and started to knock. He eased it open after a few seconds, his eyes connecting with yours through the small crack.

“Can we talk?” you asked, as he took a deep breath and hesitantly opened the door for you.

You walked in and took a seat on the side of the bed, your gaze on his floor as you tried to think of the right way to talk to him.

“You want me to leave the door open,” he asked, barely above a whisper as you shook your head no.

“If Mindy or Chad come home, I don’t want them to hear the conversation.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, before he took a seat beside you. “I’m sorry.”

“Why were you stealing my panties?” you asked, as he took a deep breath.

“I can’t explain it without sounding like the total creep you probably already think I am.”

“So…that was what I thought it was on them,” you said, as you turned to look at him. He nodded, looking away to not meet your gaze.

“Again, I am so sorry,” he said, “I know you probably hate me, and I understand if you don’t want to be around me. I’ll stay in my room so you don’t have to see me.”

“I’m just a little confused,” you said softly, as he finally let his eyes connect with yours. “What’s so exciting about my panties?”

At that moment, one thing you said to Ethan started to play in his head. ‘Sex is overrated.’ He was questioning how much experience you actually had.

“Do you really not know or are you fucking with me?” he questioned.

“Like, does it feel good? How does it even turn you on?” you asked, curiously staring at him.

“They uh…yeah, it feels good when I uh…rub them on myself. And they smell like you.”

“They smell like fabric softener and laundry detergent,” you said, a small laugh slipping out as he shook his head.

“I haven’t been stealing clean ones…they smell like you.”

“Oh,” you said, as you looked away from him. “That turns you on?”

“You have no idea,” he said, and even though the conversation was uncomfortable, he was getting hard.

“Why are guys so weird?” you thought out loud, laughing a little as you shook your head. “So does that mean that you like me? Or you’re like…sexually attracted to me? I still don’t fully get it.”

“Both,” he said, “I think you’re so beautiful, and I’ve had so much fun with you this last month…but I also think about you in a different way, too. Ya know?”

“I’ve thought about you that way, too,” you admitted, “It’d kind of hard not to. I hear you through the walls all the time.”

“You’ve heard me?” he asked, a blush spreading to his cheeks. “I’m sorry, I know you hated when you heard your old roommate.”

“I like it when I hear you,” you said so softly that he barely heard it.

“Do you touch yourself when you hear me?”

Your breathing got heavier at his question, and Ethan noticed. You were getting so flustered under his gaze.

“I…I’ve tried to,” you said, as you took in the curious look on his face.

“Tried to?” he asked, “What do you mean?”

“Like…I know what feels good, but I can never get myself…there, if you know what I mean.”

“You’ve never made yourself cum?” he questioned, admiring how cute you looked as you got embarrassed.

“No one has.”

“No one?” he asked, his throat dry at the thought. “Are you a virgin?”

“No…but I’ve never enjoyed sex. Like, it feels good, but I think it’s so disappointing when you hear how amazing orgasms are and then I just never get one.”

Ethan expected the conversation that was happening to go so differently. He thought you hated him, but there you were, telling him that you’d tried to get yourself off when you’d heard him. The thought of him being the first one to make you cum had him salivating, but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable if he offered.

“Have you ever…given someone an orgasm?” you asked, as he nodded. “I’m jealous of whoever she is.”

“Don’t be,” he said, scooting a little closer to you. “Fuck, I’d make you cum all the time if I could.”

“Really?” you smiled, “If you ever want to, I’m right next door,” you joked, as he smiled and shook his head.

“Hey, don’t offer that or I’ll be in your room every day.”

You were starting to squirm against his bed, your thighs rubbing together so subtly that he could barely tell. The sexual tension was so thick, your breathing getting heavier as you thought about how good Ethan would make you feel.

“I think I need to go back to my room,” you said, as you started to stand up. That’s when you glanced at Ethan’s lap, noticing the tent in his sweatpants.

“Do you really want to?” he asked, “Because if you want me to take care of you right now, I will.”

“Seriously?” you questioned, as he smiled and nodded.

“Come here,” he said, reaching out to grab your hands, pulling you to him.

Once Ethan leaned in to kiss you, he was almost taken aback by how quickly your lips were moving against his. He was desperate for you, but you were just as desperate for him. He matched your pace before he pushed you back on the bed, his hand running from your hip, up your ribs, until it landed on your breast. You gasped into the kiss once he squeezed it.

You had massive butterflies in your stomach once you felt his cock pressing against your thigh through his sweatpants, your head was spinning, but you were loving every second of it.

“Hey, I have an idea,” he said, once he pulled away to catch his breath. “I think we should go to your room.”

“Why?” you asked because you didn’t want to stop. You needed his lips back on yours.

“Because you have that full length mirror leaning against your wall,” he said, chuckling once you noticed the confused look on your face. “I want you to see what I’m doing to make you cum…in case I’m never here to help you.”

“Okay,” you said, as he stood up and grabbed your hands.

Once he opened his bedroom door, he listened to make sure he didn’t hear anyone else in the apartment before he walked out and to your room next door. He shut and locked your bedroom door once he made it inside, before he pulled you into another kiss. His hands held onto your hips until they started to rub against the flesh under the hem of your shirt. He kept inching it further and further up, until he pulled away to pull it over your head. His lips went back to yours as he reached around to unhook your bra, his hands squeezing at your breasts once they were free.

His mouth moved to your neck as his hands explored your body, before they snaked under the waistband of your leggings. He moved them down over your hips as you shimmied out of them, leaving you in nothing but your panties. He recognized them as the first pair he ever stole, the black lacy ones.

“Fuck,” he mumbled, as his hand moved to rub you over your panties. The material was soaked as you moaned at the feeling. “That feel good?”

“Yes,” you said, quickly nodding your head just in case he needed the extra confirmation. “So good.”

“I hate that I have to take these off you,” he said, as he inched the fabric down your thighs, leaving you completely nude in front of him. “I’m going to sit on the floor in front of the mirror, and I want you to sit between my legs.”

“Okay,” you said, as he took a seat on the floor, his legs spreading for you to sit. You did as he said, looking at him in the mirror as he spread your legs, placing your feet on either side of his legs on the floor.

You watched him lick two of his fingers before he placed them against your clit, rubbing slow circles. Your eyes stayed on the reflection of his hand, your mouth parting as you started to breathe faster. He added a little more pressure as you fully relaxed back into his chest, the softest moans slipping out as he went a little faster.

“Ethaaan,” you whined out, the noise quickly becoming his new favorite sound.

“Shh, I don’t know if anyone else is here,” he said softly, “Just keep your legs spread for me, baby.”

He rubbed a few more circles on your clit before his fingers moved lower, one of them slipping inside you. He pumped it in and out for a minute before he added another, as you angled your neck to look up at him. He leaned down to kiss you as his fingers moved, before he started to mumble against your lips.

“If you ever finger yourself, this…” he said, as he curved them just right, a low moan flying out of your mouth, “Is the spot that needs attention. Okay baby?”

“Okay,” you whimpered, as he moved his fingers faster.

The sounds you were making just kept getting louder, and Ethan was just hoping and praying that no one else was home. One of your hands clung to his thigh as your other hand wrapped around his wrist, as you started to feel…different. It felt so good, and the last thing you wanted was for him to stop. Once he went even faster, the squelching sound of your wet pussy and your whimpers filling the room, your legs were trying so hard to close as your toes curled against the carpet on the floor.

“Oh my god,” you moaned, your fluttering eyes watching his hand in the mirror as your body started to tingle.

“Cum for me baby,” he encouraged, as you finally let that feeling wash over your body. You were jolting, your eyes screwed shut as his fingers started to slow, his free hand roaming your chest as you let out all your sounds.

Once you fully relaxed in his arms, he placed a kiss to the top of your head as your hazy eyes connected with his in the mirror.

“Now you can’t say no one’s ever made you cum,” he said with a smile, as he slid his fingers out of you. “Did it feel good?”

“That was better than I thought it was going to be,” you said, “Thanks, Ethan.”

“You’re welcome.”

You sat there in silence for a minute as you felt his cock pressing against you, and you wanted so badly to take care of him, until you heard commotion in the apartment.

“Hey, guysss,” Chad yelled, as he walked down the hall.

You tensed up as you glanced at your door, before Ethan whispered, “It’s okay, I locked it.”

You relaxed again before Chad started to yell again, “Tara’s here!”

You forgot about hanging out with Mindy and Tara for the night, and you didn’t want to pull away from Ethan, but you hesitantly did, your legs wobbling as you tried to stand. Ethan got up to help you, and once you got your bearings, he started to grab your clothes off the floor for you.

“Thanks,” you said, before you noticed him pick up your panties.

“No, thank you,” he joked, a smirk playing on his lips as he backed towards your door. “I’ll see you when you get back in the morning.”

“I better still have panties in that top drawer when I get back.”

[feelingf1]

pretty isn’t pretty - daniel ricciardo

pairing: daniel ricciardo x female!reader

summary: you’ve started comparing yourself to the other wags, and now you’re starting to wonder, does daniel deserve someone better than you?

authors note: i am obsessed with this song. it’s not okay. this is also kinda short, sorry😭

enjoy!

—————

You collapsed onto your bed after an enjoyable but exhausting day. You had spent your day accompanying Daniel in the paddock on the last race of the season.

Because you were still mainly located in yours and Daniel’s home town, you didn’t often get the opportunity to travel so far to go and see him race, but you were glad you could.

You threw your outfit on the bench, putting on your comfy pajamas before making a call for room service and scrolling through your phone.

You opened up Instagram and saw that Carmen, George’s partner, had posted a picture of you, Lily, Isa and Charlotte.

You liked it, reposting it to your story, before checking the comment to see what people were saying.

That was your big mistake.

You opened a comment section to people slagging you off, for every reason they could.

“Y/N looks like she pulled that outfit out of her cousin’s closest”

“Jesus she could try and make some effort with her hair and makeup.”

“What?” You said to yourself. It hadn’t come to your attention before that people online didn’t really like you.

“She’s such a slag, sucking off Daniel for his money”

-> “Pity she wouldn’t use Daniel’s money to dress herself up a bit.”

“Daniel deserves way better than her.”

That last comment stuck with you. Your friends had always told you not to believe what the comments said. But surely if they’re all saying the same thing, they must be right?

You scrolled through the other photos the paparazzi had captured of all the other wags. Looking through them, you came to understand how you believed you were a lower standard compared to them.

They had the newest handbags, shoes, clothes, makeup. They had people dressing them up for this and every event they attended. They didn’t even had to think twice before flashing their card in a designer shop.

You, on the other hand, had to go to a thrift shop to buy the dress you wore so you could still afford your rent and bills at the end of the month. You used the drugstore makeup you had been using for years, as getting it done by somebody would cost too much, and you’d have to cut back on buying groceries.

How could you ever expect yourself to compare to these angels who had everything they could ever want? Of course, if you had asked Daniel, he would have bought you a brand new Louis Vuitton dress with a Gucci clutch bag just for today, but you prided yourself on not having to rely on your boyfriend for money. Maybe you prided yourself a little too much.

Tears started to fall from your eyes and down your cheeks. You couldn’t help but think you were and embarrassment to Daniel. That he only kept with you because he felt bad for you and your sad little life.

You headed to the bathroom to take off your makeup, so you could cry without looking like a panda. You stared in the mirror for a little too long, starting to point out imperfections that nobody else saw but you.

You started to cry again.

You crawled into the hotel bed, pulling the covers up over your head, and wept. You wept and wept until you felt empty. And then you came to a realization.

You had to break up with Daniel. You had to let him find someone better than you. Someone prettier, someone richer, someone who wouldn’t put shame on his name.

You were too busy crying to hear the sound of your hotel room door opening and closing. The second Daniel saw you upset, he rushed to your side.

“My love. What’s wrong?”

He pulled the covers down from your face gently, revealing your reddened cheeks and puffy eyes. A look of worry washed over his face.

“What’s happened?” He asked, softly.

You wiped your eyes in your hoodie sleeves and started at the ceiling, not even having it in you to look at his big, brown, beautiful eyes right now.

“We- we need to break up.” You croaked out.

Daniel’s face dropped. “What? Y/N, what the hell are you talking about.”

You brought your hands up to your eyes and started to cry tears you thought you didn’t have left. Daniel softly stroked your cheek in an attempt to calm you down.

“There’s- there’s just comments I saw online and they say how bad I look compared to the other girls.” You rambled out, still not able to look at him.

“Oh, doll.” He whispered.

“And one comment said that you deserve someone way better than me, which you do. I’m too ugly and poor to be with someone as good as you.”

Your breathing started to increase a little as you started to panic. Daniel pulled you into his arms, cradling you, as he rubbed soft circles on your back.

“Oh Y/N. You can’t listen to those silly little comments. I’m the one that’s lucky to have you.” He said, into your ear.

“But-” You went to argue but Daniel cut you off.

“No, listen. Y/N, I’m the luckiest person in the world to have somebody like you. Somebody so kind, so pretty, so smart, so sweet, so dedicated. You’re the prettiest girl in the whole entire world. Nobody compared to you, my love.”

He softly took ahold of your hands, removing them from your face.

“Let me see my beautiful lady.”

You smiled up at him. You were so lucky to have somebody like him. He really was one of a kind.

“Y/N, I love you.” He said.

Your face lit up, he said them. He really said those three beautiful words for the first time. Just when you thought you couldn’t love him more, he proved you wrong.

“I love you too, Daniel.”

He pulled you into a proper hugs and you stayed there for what felt like forever. You didn’t care, as long as you had Daniel, you could stay with him forever.

[dearestaussiechannie]

☆♡ We're both stressed ♡☆ — Bang Chan

word count: 3.1k

paring: Chan x afab!reader

genre: angst/fluff

warnings: afab!reader, established relationship, crying, stress, mentions of shouting, pet names (sweetheart, sweetie, love), bestfriend!Jisung, stressed!Chan, comfort, if I left anything out lmk, kinda proofread? (sorry!)

It's been a rough couple of months with the comeback and all the stress that comes with it. Wanting to spend more time with Chan but being unable to due to the ungodly amount of hours he's been spending in the studio with Jisung and Changbin. The little amount of time you got to see him while they were preparing for the comeback has now doubled.

That's why right now you're laying on that iconic couch that sits in the studio, mindlessly scrolling through the many socials that you have on your phone. Luckily it's just the two of you inside since Changbin and Jisung had said that they wanted to freshen up with showers or food, leaving the two of you to just be in the others presence, something that the two of you hadn't gotten in weeks.

While you lay there just scrolling on your phone, you see the multiple fan accounts that you follow talking about their comeback announcements. You giggle at the ones about the other members, specifically Jisungs, sending them to him mimicking the comments when you text him. “He’S sO hAwT!?!?” After doing this a couple of times, you keep scrolling and you see the ones about your one and only Chan.

You try your best to hold back your laughs after seeing all the comments about how hot he looks in his new photos, some even cause the laugh to slip only for you to look at Chan to make sure you haven’t disturbed his work in any way. All you can feel is pride that you managed to be the one that he has chosen to be with… that is until you scroll a little further.

Your heart sinks when you find all the ones talking about how his future someone has such large shoes to fill. One stood out the most to you, even though in your best judgement, it shouldn't have. “I bet if he gets someone, she'll be too insecure and cause him way more stress than he needs or wants. Must be sad yk?”

Does Chan know that they say these things about him and his future someone? He must with how much he takes what they say into consideration. But why hasn't he said anything to you about it? Is that maybe what he thinks as well? As thoughts begin to wreck your already oversensitive brain, you stare into the back of his head.

Almost like instinct, you hear a loud huff and the sound of his headphones crashing onto his desk. “You know, I can feel you staring holes into the back of my head Y/N.” He says, running his hand through his dark brown hair, turning in his chair to look at you. You look down when you hear him speak, causing him to sigh softly before rolling the chair closer to you. “Where did the guys go? Thought they were going to the bathroom or something.” “Well, that's kinda what they said.. Han went to get himself something to eat and Bin wanted a shower so god knows what he's doing now since that was 45 minutes ago.”

He lets out a grumble before going back to what he was doing on his laptop, starting to bounce his leg. “Is there something that you need help with?” you ask him before slowly walking over to him causing him to jump and suddenly shut his laptop, before looking up at you with shocked eyes. The sudden motion shocks you to say the least but you just show a sad smile before walking back over to the couch for a few minutes only to leave not soon after to give him the privacy he suddenly seemed like he needed.

About a week has passed since then and you're currently sitting in the dorms with almost everyone for a movie night. The sight still plastered in your brain as if it happened 20 minutes ago, him shutting his laptop and giving you that look. Sighing shakily, you nestle deeper into your spot on the couch between Jisung and Changbin, Chan choosing not to attend the movie saying “he still has too much to work on” or you’d be cuddled up to him like you usually did during these events.

It seems that the two beside you notice your behaviour, looking between each other before Jisung taps your shoulder. “Hey, is everything alright? You seem off.” he asks you, only causing your mind to race worse. You look at him with a small smile before slowly nodding. If he's noticed how you’re acting that means so has everyone else making you do a quick glance over the whole room, seeing everyones eyes locked on the movie that was playing on the screen. “I’m fine Sungie, don't worry that pretty brain of yours and enjoy the movie.” you whisper back to him before silently excusing yourself from the room.

You find yourself in front of his bedroom door, just staring at it. It makes your heart race with your mind as you think about what's on the other side of this door. Your beloved slaving away over his laptop, eyes most likely bloodshot and dry from the hours he spends staring at it. A small flat spot probably pressed into his hair from his headphones, back with an arch that will make him complain that he needs to fix his posture tomorrow and probably the worlds largest bundle of stress.

Before you could stop yourself, you knock. You can hear the sound of his chair moving around before he suddenly swings the door open. He quickly looks you up and down, sighing before his lip twitches up on the left side. “Hello love, why aren't you watching the movie with the others?” He asks you, leaning against the door frame.

Without realising it, you'd been holding your breath. Suddenly you shakily exhale while looking up at his face, eyes scanning his features as if you hadn't seen him in months even though its only been a few hours. It really did feel like it's been that long though. “Oh.. I just wanted to come check on you.. Movie was boring and Jisung kept laughing so loud in my ears.” you lied, that's not really why you were here.

He stepped to the side, allowing you to enter the room before walking over to his chair and closing his laptop again. There it was again, the stinging pain in your chest. Normally if he ever shut his laptop like this, it meant you had his full attention but the past couple of times, it had felt like he doesn't trust you. It hurts.

“Well as you can see I'm fine but you can stay in here if you want to.” he says before turning his back to you, blocking your view of whatever is on his screen and placing his headphones back on. Fine? Is that what you'd call this sight? Because you don't think so. Which causes your next wrong moves. You start insisting that he take a break, use some eye drops, eat or drink something, stand up and stretch, the basic things he should do after sitting at a screen for hours.

The two of you begin to argue about it causing you to raise your voice a little in worry, your own anxiety flowing into the words without you realizing and neither does he. “If you're just going to lecture me and distract me from my work, you're more than welcome to leave.” he says a bit harshly, venom on his tongue. He doesn't even look at you before his fingers start to swim against his keys again, losing all interest in the fact that you, his girlfriend, is standing right there.

Your eyes sting as you walk out, shutting the door a bit harshly, grabbing the others in the living rooms attention. You fly through the room with your head down, not wanting anyone to see your tears, slipping on your shoes and out the front door after quickly grabbing your keys and coat. The others simply look at each other then back in the direction of Chans room.

It's now been two weeks since movie night and your fight with Chan and you aren't answering any texts you get from the members, fearing that it'll only make this pain worse. All you can think about is his voice the way he spoke to you that night. The way hes been acting towards you for whats just barely short of a month. Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the sound of your phone going off the rails. You look down not planning to answer but when the name pops up, your gaze softens. “Sungie Sweetie” is displayed with a silly photo of the boy. You didn’t want to answer but if anyone was as worked up about everything that suddenly happened, it'd be Jisung.

You sniffle as you watch it go to voicemail. The notification “10 missed calls from Sungie Sweetie” displays on the screen for the fifth time today alone. Before you can swipe away the notification, he's calling again. You rub your eyes before you decide to answer. Before you can even get out a hello, you hear his voice crack. “Oh my god you answered! Y/N its Jisung! Do you know how long I've been trying to get you to answer the phone? NO daily memes, no stupid comment mimics in my dms, NOTHING! Where are you? Are you-”

“Ji, you're rambling again.” you say with a small smile even though he can't see it. You can hear his shaky breath, before he begins to whisper. “You haven't answered anyone in days, as your best friend, that's not okay.” he says and you have to fight a giggle. “I’m okay Ji, I just.. Needed some time to myself.” you lie to him which causes guilt to fill your chest. You don't realise but he has the same feeling since he's not telling you the whole truth either.

You see, without your knowledge, you're currently on speaker where not only can Jisung hear you, so can Changbin who is biting his nails. Both of them have been worried sick about you after everyone had assumed you and Chan fought. That thought had been sealed when Chan came out of his room in a rough state, slamming doors and everything else that he opened, glares to everywhere in the dorms as if he's looking for something to soften his gaze on, on you.

Jisung clears his throat before he speaks, “So, when are you coming back over? I’ve got a couple of new games, Bin needs his hype man back, lix needs his taste tester, Minho needs someone to eat the extra food he makes, Seungmin complains that you're not here for him to bully, I.n says that you're the only person in this house that makes him genuinely laugh and Hyunjin has said, and I'm not even playing, ten times that he needs his muse back so he can continue his art.” 

He rambled about everything without even thinking about it, the room now filled by everyone he’d mentioned.  He looked around at everyone with a finger over his lips, signalling them to be quiet but as if they'd even speak, no one knows what to say. “Ji?..” they all hear that shake in your voice causing them all to look around at each other then quickly to him. “Yes love?” he says with no hesitation.

“You didn't… you didn't say Chan..” you say as the tears have begun to fall down your face like a waterfall of hot water. They could all hear you crying, no one knew what to do. You'd always hid your emotions. As their leaders girlfriend, you were just as head strong as he was, never showing what you actually felt unless behind closed doors. “Y/n… Chans been locked in either his room or the studio since you left. Changbin and I haven't been able to set foot in there without getting yelled at..”

The thought of Chan yelling at the people who care most for him saddens you more but it also really pisses you off. Before you even realise what you're doing, you've got shoes on and you're out your front door. The call with Jisung (and everyone else) does not end, it just becomes silent.

About 10 minutes go by and they all think that you've muted yourself for a cry but your voice suddenly rips through the room. “Sungie?” the fearful looks all shift to him as they hear the name, making Minho and I.n fight for their lives not to laugh. He looks at the floor and smiles “yes Y/Nie?” he replies quickly flipping the two now red in the face off.

“Come unlock the door, yeah?”

You're in the kitchen of the dorms as everyone surrounds you whispering so many questions to you but all you can do is look at Jisung and say “where is he?” before he slowly points to the hallway. You scuff as you wipe your nose and shake off your coat, hearing it hit the floor only for someone to pick it up and put it by the door.

Once in the hall, you make it to a door but you don’t knock or announce that you're walking inside, you just do it. “How dare you?” is all you can say before big brown eyes are looking at you. There's emotion in them and you can see the way that they shift from anger to surprise to guilt. He stares at you before slowly standing up, opening his mouth. “Don't you dare speak. I've got things to say, Christopher Bahng.”

“First of all, if your girlfriend leaves your dorm crying because of what you said to her, a decent boyfriend would TRY to follow her out to make sure shes okay. Second, don't EVER let me hear that you've YELLED at them simply because you're in a bad mood because of something you caused. Third, tell me why it's Ji that had to call me 50 times a day for TWO WEEKS to get me to come back. Do you know how much I've longed to see your name pop up on my phone Christopher?” 

By now you're crying without even noticing, your voice just barely above a shout until you realise Chan is staring at the floor. This only causes you to shake with emotion, “look at me!” you say, voice now a desperate shout, whole body shaking, eyes wide once his finally meet yours. You see the emotions switching over and over, the bright red where his eyes should be white, the bags and puffiness and you finally realise the way his whole body is shaking.

“Chan, I..” you start but he quickly cuts you off, his arms engulfing you into him as he pulls you both down to your knees on his bedroom floor, sobs filling the room. His whole body is shaking against you in what feels like frozen time, your hands instinctively finding his hair and rubbing his back as he cries and you do the same. The stress had finally broken the two of you only for you to break in front of the other. 

“Y/N.. I'm so so so sorry. Jisung told me everything when you left two weeks ago but I was so hyper focused on work that I neglected your feelings and noticing how you felt. I have no idea what was going through me or how it affected you but I know that I hurt you the other night when you were simply trying to help. That's why you're my light.” He says as he sobs into your neck, arms tightening around you, afraid you might push him away.

You turn your head towards the door to see the others all in the doorway after hearing you yell at their leader, the strongest guy they know now crying on the floor clinging to his girlfriend for what looked like dear life. When they see you looking at them, they quickly scurry away not wanting to ruin the moment that they all knew you both needed. “Channie.. sweetheart, look at me..” you say to him softly.

The pained look on his face makes your heart shatter as you use your sleeves to gently wipe away the tears that keep falling from his beautiful eyes. No matter how angry you are at him, seeing him like this still causes your heart to shatter into a hundred pieces. You push the wisps of hair out of his face and you let him cry as long as he needs to, feeling him relax after some time taking in deeper breaths.

“Y/n, please let's work through this. I messed up I know but I want to work on it, and if you say no then well I-” hes cut off quickly by your lips pressing into his, both of you letting out a shaky breath as you smile against his lips. “You big idiot.. I love you so much and I know that stress got the both of us, you don't need to apologise to me okay? Because everything that I did was no better.. Now I think we both need to take some time and just relax okay? Nothing but the two of us..”

He nods his head feverishly quick, eyes struggling to stay open, letting out a small laugh when he hears you speak. “You look like your body might crash the second I let you go.” “Can't sleep without you by my side.. Been getting maybe an hour or two of sleep a day.” is all that he can reply with before his eyes are closing lulling him to go to sleep right now.

After some convincing, he's taken a shower and you've changed his sheets, cleaned up all the trash in his room, organised his desk getting him a fresh warm towel and a clean set of clothes, you're both now curled in his bed. There's a movie playing on the tv but neither of you had paid any attention to it, too focused on the weight of being in each others arms.

You're playing with his hair while his head is laying on your chest, eyes closed as he's starting to finally feel his whole body relax, the stress you were both feeling only an hour ago now completely gone. There's a small hum that escapes him causing you to look down at him, met by a sleepy smile.

“I love you, Y/n, so much.”

“I love you too Channie, so much more.”

©️ dearestaussiechannie, all rights reserved.

Taglist: (to be added, comment or message me♡)

[pretty-little-mind33]

Count Alexei Vronsky x wife!reader

Summary: Your marriage with Alexei is new and wonderful. However, this means your body has changed since you'd first met him and one evening the sudden realization overwhelms you.

Genre: Fluff, hurt & comfort, kinda burb

Warnings: insecurities from weight gain, maybe shitty russian translation (pls tell me and i'll fix the problem!)

~ anon who sent this in today, i love you sm ✨🤍 ~

COUNT VRONSKY MASTERLIST

As Alexei waits for you in the parlor, his knee is now bouncing as he becomes more and more anxious as time passes and you still don't show up.

It wasn't until your maids hurry from the bedroom, sending him an alarmed look, that his worry spikes enough to warrant him checking in on you. He stands up, his hands elegantly held behind him.

He makes his way to your newly shared bedroom, his knuckles rasping against the door. "Y/n? Darling, It's me," his voice is calm and your name sounds like honey on his lips. "May I come inside?"

A tense silence falls upon him as you don't answer for a moment. 

"N-no," you whisper, your voice barely audible, "Please. Leave without me," you sound so sad and his heart breaks.

"Leave without my new, gorgeous  wife? Nonsense, Моя любовь (my love), who would I show off?" he teases, his tone light and airy as he leans his palm flat on the door.

You'd only been married a month now and Alexei still took pride in parading you around on his arm, showing off his devotion to you and proclaiming his love to anyone who listened. You were Mrs. Count Vronsky now and he'd be damned if not everyone at these tedious social events knew the wonderful news. 

You don't answer or let him in so his worry increases. He shakes his head and opens the door, luckily finding it unlocked. Once Alexei steps inside, he's met with piles of dresses of various colors and styles on the floor.

Hair accessories and jewelry are scattered messily across your vanity and you're sat in the middle of the mess as tears fall silently down your cheeks. He is quick to kneel in front of you, his large hand pressed on your knee (which is hidden under the amount of dresses you'd tried on) and he looks you up and down. 

You're still dressed in your undergarments, your corset bound so harshly he's afraid you can't breathe anymore. "Oh, my darling," he whispers and strides over to stand behind you, careful not to walk on any of the dresses, and he kneels again, nimbly undoing your corset. He relaxes when he sees your shoulders relax. He rubs them, his touch gentle, "В чем дело, любовь моя. (What's the matter, my love?)"

Alexei leans his forehead on your shoulder, his blond curls tickling your neck as he tilts his head and presses a kiss to your neck. "Talk to me. You're upset. How can I make it better?"

He feels you shift and he pets your hair, waiting patiently for you to tell him what's wrong. 

"You can't make it better, Alexei," you whisper and grip your hand in some of the dresses, resisting the urge to rip them apart and never look at them again. 

Your husband chuckles deeply and shakes his head. "Unless someone died, I can make it better."

You turn to him, bringing your knees down as you show him all the dresses. Your eyes are wide and teary. "Alexei, they don't fit me anymore! They're too tight and can't breathe in them. I look stupid and no matter how much I tighten my corset—it's no use. I cannot go out into society anymore—I have nothing presentable to wear!"

Alexei's arms wrap around you instantly when he senses how distressed you are.

He shushes you, pressing your body into his chest as he holds you. "Darling, don't cry on me like this. Not because of silly dresses," he kisses your temple and his hand finds your waist and stomach, loosening the corset even more. You panic and hold his hand, trying to push him away from you. 

"Моя любовь (My love)," Alexei holds your hand in his instead, reprimanding you softly, "you have nothing to be ashamed of. You're beautiful."

You look at him, eyes still watery. "But–"

Alexei shakes his head. "No. You're beautiful now and forever. We can buy you new dresses as soon as you want them. That's not a problem, dove. In the meantime, you must have some less fancy dress you can wear around the house. Hm," his eyes light up with realization, "why don't we go riding? You do like riding? I can ask the maids to pack us a picnic and we can catch the sunset if we hurry."

You look at him, taking in his adoration and his suggestion as you mumble, "You don't mind that we don't go to Lady Kozlov's dinner?"

"And listen to her husband's insistent rambling about his countless affairs? I'd much rather ride with you—and spend some time with Frou-Frou," he adds with a smile and nuzzles into your neck, catching your lips in his.

You reward the gesture with a giggle and push some blond curls away from his striking blue eyes. "You and that horse," you whisper, kissing his lips again as your worries fade into nothing. 

Alexei laughs and continues to caress your hair. "I love you, my darling, so so much. You know what I think? I think this is a good thing," he caresses your stomach, "It means you're comfortable and you're feeling my love and adoration. I'm treating you well. My beautiful wife," he kisses your lips and looks into your eyes. "You are happy, aren't you?"

You nod. "I am very happy, Alexei."

He hums, feeling like he'd just won something much more valuable than any race. Smiling, he kisses your neck and holds you closer to him.

"Good. That's all that matters. That you're healthy and happy," he says with such determination you have no choice but to believe him.

[suengmi]

- stray kids realizing they fell in love with you

genre: fluff/romance, gn!reader, established!relationships warnings/other: none just... GROSS FLUFF, kissing, play fighting

anyways... some more soft hours lesgooo

♡ masterlist / pls reblog if you liked! it helps a lot ♡

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ bang chan

it's probably a sunny early morning on no particular day, he's just admiring you in your sleep. he's appreciating some of the acne scars on your cheek and how sometimes it makes him sad when you say you hate them because he thinks they're pretty, and that it tells a story. that's the thing about chan is that he notices things, small lil things that you might not. maybe its the scar on your leg or the bite mark from that dog that bit you on the nose. or maybe it's just the way you cover yourself when he's on top of you telling you how glad he is you mustered up the courage to confess to him when he knew you'd liked him for months. really, he always was in love with you, he just didn't know how to say it or wrap his head around it. but with you next to him, hair splayed in a mess as you sleep he realizes. it finally clicks that he does and he always had.

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ lee know

with lee know, when he knows, he knows. lee know kind of realizes it when he sees you on the floor of the kitchen, tears streaming from your eyes to your cheeks about the burnt dinner you wanted to cook him. so he'd pick up the burnt potato from the baking tray and put it in his mouth. he'd finish the whole mouthful and tell you (with a scrunched face) that it was 100% fine. you'd probably cry again, but him seeing how upset you were over a simple gesture to make dinner for him made his heart swell and burst. you'd be pissed and ask why he was smiling, but he'd simply shake his head. no hesitation or wavering in his voice as comforted you, telling you he'd happily order take out.

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ changbin

you're just in your pyjamas, cleaning your teeth at his house. hair flicking in all directions and bare face showing with pride. he's just standing in the doorway, admiring the way you brush angrily, while you're being annoyed that it's taking two minutes of your life every night. "like... if no animals have to brush their teeth, why do we?" you'd complain spitting out the toothpaste. he kinda of loves how you think of these things, such random observations and thoughts you feel safe enough speaking and sharing with him. he'd listen to your rant about dental hygiene. but in the end, when you were done, he'd simply smile at you. it kind of clicks, all of the moments in your relationship til now. he just has a gentle smile on his face as he adores every part of you. no 'ifs' 'ands' or 'buts' going through his mind. just love.

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ hyunjin

it's a multitude of things. hyunjin always notices the small changes in your voice. he notices how you feel just by your posture or the way you message him, but one thing he particularly loves is the way you like to line up the cups a certain way after cleaning the kitchen. it's on this one night, just any night, where it finally clicks for the first time. you're just talking about your day, how you need him to remind you to take your cat to the vet. it's when he bends down to give you a kiss mid sentence that he finally realizes it. the kiss is sweet and long, almost innocent with how he pulls back before pressing another small kiss on your nose. he'd feel a bit nervous, averting his eyes and speaking in a mumbled tone as he helped dry the plates you had washed. "what did you say babe?" you'd ask but he'd shake his head just continuing to help you clean. "oh, uh nothing."

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ seungmin

with seungmin, it's simple. he's always been one to be sure of his feelings. when he knows it, it just seems to fall in place. he doesn't feel the need to blurt it out at first, but he seems to show it in his actions. in all honesty, he knew early on. he liked your spice, he liked your willingness to learn and admit you were wrong. he especially loved how you called people on their bullshit, including him. no one had ever put him in his place, and he loved that you did that for him. you didn't pander to him and your honesty was refreshing. it's in a moment that he feels the need to say it, suddenly feeling nervous for the first time in your relationship. the thumps in his chest would worry him a bit, the urge to tell you, but he doesn't. he wants to save it for another time when he feels it'll be more special. because you deserved that.

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ felix

it's probably a big 'aha!' moment with felix. he's never really questioned himself or his feelings for you, but it kind of waves over him like a numbing breeze under his skin. you've fallen asleep on your video chat, your cheek scrunched up against the pillow you're hugging and mouth a little open as you breathe. it's cold, so you're all rugged up with your doona up against your chin. he just watches you. he enjoys seeing you sleep so soundly and he loves that you feel comfortable enough to let yourself fall asleep while video chatting. you were just talking about something related to his game, but he knew you were tired. so he let you sleep, not ending the call or saying anything to wake you. he ends up laying down himself, just admiring you as you are. though, he does tell you he loves you but you're not awake to hear it. he'll tell you in the morning.

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ jisung

it's almost like a tree trunk fell on his head. you're just laying across the couch from him, legs entwined into his own. you're in his trackie pants, the ones that are probably a bit too tight for you and too loose for him. buuuuut he loves how it looks tight across your ass. it's when you say it to him for the first time. you're kind of debating about something and you'd chime in with a a simple 'well, that's because i love you so that doesn't count.' and he freezes. your confession made him realize that he felt just the same, but you were the one to take the lead just laying it out in front of him on a silver platter. you're totally fine as you continue talking to him about whatever it was you were prior, and he ends up excusing himself to get a drink. his head would be spinning with all the emotion he's feeling, finally realizing that he'd felt like this for a while.

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ jeongin

jeongin knows it when you're both having a play fight (not that this isn't a regular thing lmao) he jokes about how you're easy to flip over, regardless of your size because he has the 'man strength' as he coined it. you'd argue back, telling him that his masculinity has nothing to do with it as you pinched at both of his ears and pulled. he'd just karate chop at your arms, pulling you over himself to throw you into the snow. once he had you on the ground he'd eventually get your hands above your head, pinning you there gloating that he was stronger. you'd just make a fart noise with your mouth, wriggling beneath him. this is the exact moment he knows. his strength lessens, and his face would probably turn into a smile before giving you a quick kiss. "that's cheating!!!!" you'd protest face all >:( when he just grinned bigger letting his feelings wash over him.

DON'T ASK WHAT THIS IS

♡ taglist: @blankdyean @l3visbby @daddyjoonchua @abcdefgiwsmcty @moon0fthenight ♡

[melrodrigo]

The Other Side Of The Door - V.C.

Vada Cavell x Fem!Reader

Summary: Vada’s been a questionable girlfriend lately, and you’ve decided you’ve had enough.

Warnings: Angst, Vada is kinda toxic in this, mentions of drinking

Word Count: 1.2k+

A/N: Inspired by TOSOTD by miss t-swizzle herself. I hope u angst monsters r happy, I don’t write angst very often. Also! Did not proofread this, sorry bout that

“Leave.” You say, face stoney and eyes narrowed. You ignore the voice inside of you that says this is a terrible idea.

Your girlfriend blinks back at you, taken aback by the venom in your voice.

Her expression changes from happy to crestfallen in a second, and it takes everything in you to not immediately take back what you’ve just said.

“What is this about?” She asks, eyes wide.

The minute your girlfriend had waltzed into your room, whistling to her favorite Juice Wrld song, she had been met with the sight of you sitting on your bed, arms crossed.

“What is this about? Are you kidding, Vada?” You seethe, too pissed to have any sort of filter anymore.

She gulps.

“How about it’s about the countless times I’ve had to drag you back home because you were drunk shitless, doing god knows what with god knows who, without any explanation whatsoever.” You’re standing up now, sizing Vada up.

“It’s about the amount of times you’ve ignored me this whole week, never answering texts, never picking up my calls. Am I even your girlfriend anymore?” You press, rambling as if everything that’s been pent up inside you for weeks stars spilling out all at once.

Your girlfriend pales as you monologue, eyes darting to lock on anything but your face.

“But-“ She opens her mouth and closes it a couple times, searching for something to say.

You cut her off quickly. Unwillingly to let her have any say in this.

“Quite frankly, I’ve had enough. So if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like you to leave.” You tell her, pretending you don’t see the way her eyes are starting to water.

She’s as still as a statue for a good minute or two, contemplating what she wants to do. You can practically see the cogs turning in her brain.

One more glare from you has her rushing out your room and downstairs. You can’t help the pang in your chest as you watch her leave. After everything, you still want her to stay.

Stupid girl and the grip she has on me.

Nothing quells your bad mood for the rest of the night. You spend dinner shooting back one word responses to your mom’s inquiries, irritable.

You tuck yourself into bed, check your phone for a message from anyone—okay, maybe you wanted to see if Vada had said anything, but nothing. You huff and pull the sheets over your body, closing your eyes shut and forcing sleep to have its way with you.

-

Somehow, in the morning, you wake up even more annoyed. Whenever you’ve had fights with Vada before, the morning after she’d be all over you; begging for forgiveness and blowing up your phone.

You’re ashamed to admit you like the attention.

Today, nothing. Not a single call or text from your normally oh so talkative girlfriend.

As the day goes on, you start feeling mournful. Regret courses deep through you. You sit and stew in your feelings until you can’t think of anything else.

Maybe I shouldn’t have said all that.

It’s a sad Sunday that’s spent with you staring at cute photographs you’d taken with her months prior, and jumping at the sound of any notification. It’s pathetic, but you need her. You don’t remember how long it’s been since you and Vada have had a day apart.

You’re stuck. You miss her so much, but your stupid pride won’t allow you to text first, or to go find her, because what would you even do? You’d been the one to apologize first too many times. This time, you decide it’s going to be up to Vada.

You sleuth around for the rest of your Sunday. When you finish dinner and storm to your room, your turmoil has turned into spite.

“If you don’t call in the next 5 minutes I swear I’m breaking up with you.” You hiss to the phone, staring intently at Vada’s profile picture, as if she’s just going to pop out of the phone by sheer will of you wanting her there.

After a minute of this, you set the phone down and take a deep breath. You turn your phone on do not disturb and pick up a book. All this drama has you feeling like you need to reconnect with nature a bit.

It’s a book Vada herself had recommended you, which was funny, since your girlfriend barely read shit. You hate to admit she has good taste. You glide through the pages easily, happy for a distraction.

Minutes turn into hours, and before long, you notice that the light is starting to dim down and the sun is starting to set. You also hear the tiny pitter-patter of rain hitting the roof.

You get up and walk to your window, face still buried in your book, and gently ease it open, hoping to find some comfort in the fresh air and smell of wet grass.

What you get is not that. A pebble, the size of your pinky comes hurling, too fast for even your reflexes to react.

It hits you smack dab in the face, making you loosen your grip on the book and dropping it. You groan, rubbing the part of your nose that stings. You hear a tiny oh shit below you and you peer out your window so fast it gives you whiplash.

The sight of Vada standing in the rain, her hair messy and her bike discarded on your tiny front yard brings out a lot of mixed emotions in you.

Finally. Goddamn, finally.

She looks sheepish as she speaks. “I’m sorry!” She squeaks. “I didn’t mean to hit you- I swear. I was just trying to do one of those huge romantic gestures where the guy gets the girls attention by throwing pebbles at her window ya know? But it ended up being kinda fun and I didn’t see you when I threw that one-“ She says, speaking so fast you can barely understand her.

When you don’t answer, it’s almost like Vada remembers what she came here for. She straightens up, wiping her palms on her loose graphic tee.

“I’m sorry. I really am. If you would hear me out, I’ll explain everything. I promise. I’m sorry for not coming to my senses earlier, and I’m sorry for not paying you enough attention. I love you, I’m in love with you; you know that. More than anything.” She yells, almost screams so you can hear her clearly.

You feel your walls crumble immediately. How were you going to deny your sweet, loving, albeit sort of confusing girlfriend of your love? It was no use. She always wins when it comes to you.

You sigh.

Vada waits patiently, shifting on her feet and shivering slightly from the cold.

You gesture for her to come in with your hand, and you have to stop yourself from laughing at the joy that sparks across her face immediately.

She sprints in, saying a quick hello to your mom- who probably heard everything, and runs up the stairs, practically tackling you onto your own bedroom floor.

She’s soaked, and you can already feel the water seeping through your own shirt, but you don’t care. Vada’s wrapped herself tight around you, like a baby koala. She’s trembling slightly, and you notice she’s crying.

You place your hand on top of her head, rubbing gently. You murmur sweet nothings into her ear.

She tilts her head up to look at you, eyes all red and puffy. She looks so pretty like this.

“I missed you so much.” She gushes.

You grin lazily, happy to have your girlfriend back in your arms.

“I missed you too, baby.”

[freakinator]

funny thing about how i view the conflict in todays stream is that i view flame and wemmbu in very separate ways despite them doing essentially the same thing

in flames case:

i view his betrayal as ultimately a tragedy, their history all thrown aside due to a combination of wounded pride and genuine upset

if yall didnt see his chat for this stream it was actually really, really bad, like his chat is genuinely so fucking annoying oh my god and is a really good demonstration of why i think streamers should be mean to their chatters sometimes to so i actually wasnt at all surprised that he was so upset but i thought hed log off instead of acting out like this

he wanted respect but literally ruined the months long work of one of the few ppl that were willing to trust him over something that couldve been resolved if he just waited until september, but at the same time i can kinda understand why he was being so impulsive considering again his chat is Really bad, but at the end of the day that really shouldnt have been something you took out on one of your few allies like???? bruh even mocked zams storytelling as if he didnt do thee same shit as well 😭

honestly one of the reasons i was sad about his betrayal is cause it kinda sounded to me like he was genuinely about to cry at first??? maybe im just making shit up tho and he def stopped sounding like he was gonna cry after blowing up the spacewaffles tower lol

in wemmbus case:

i feel no pity for this man, he wanted conflict wherever he can get it and he got it! i think hes a lot like zam in that he just wants some attention and most importantly something to do but whatever happens to him next is his own fault lmao, i respect his honesty tho like hey he sucks but he knows what hes about at least lol

the fact that he still kept trying to get a commission from zam (or at least guilttripping him about it for lack of a better word) like bro i know you wanted to do a capitalism morality dilemma arc with zam but read the room my guy 😭

maybe hes at least a little mad that zam kept turning him away despite the fact he accepted a commission from mapicc of all ppl but like. bro. theres a reason zam called him a nightmare customer lmao

that being said you can tell hes not used to going this overboard considering he offered to help repair the tree when zam got upset lmao

idk i just thought his evilness was kinda funny, still hope he gets his shit kicked in spectacularly tho!

its funny, despite being acting like the shitty no reading comprehension version of abyss he gives me the exact same feeling of schadenfreude i did for minute back in s5 and i believe part of it is his mockery of lore and weird complicated dismissal of moral conflict particularly regarding zam

by weird complicated dismissal of moral conflict i mean both he and minute both tried to convince zam to see ''their side'' and ''reason'' but coming at it from an angle that completely misunderstands zam and when zam points it out they dismiss it and act like it means nothing because of their ''objective'' view of reality, spoiler alert! its not objective at all and they refuse to understand things from zams perspective cause they think hes just being unreasonable or something

idk overall i think their motivations for doing things are just kinda... shit lol

like ik theres some pretty obvious parallels that can be made with s5 here but the difference between the og players and flamebu aside from the lack of style and drama is that the og players waited several months before they started acting out the way they did and when they did start acting out tgey always made sure evryone who wanted to get involved Actually got involved rather than doing it while everyone was away plus their opps werent their own allies (except maybe pangi depending on how you look at it)

[fern-funtime]

| True Blue | ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

wc: 1,089

pairing: Navia x fem! reader

warnings: a little sad, beautiful gay women <3

an: this is kinda bad. i had major writer's block but i started it so i had to finish it, i hope it's good enough to read. oh and happy pride month everyone ･ ͜ʖ ･ -Fern xo ♡

To say you were upset was an understatement, the girl you were in love with was a few feet away from you with a man. A man who was confessing his love.

A man you didn't even know. He gave her flowers and a very expensive necklace, the blue stones matched her eyes perfectly. Jealousy is a very strong emotion and it was overwhelming you by now. All you wanted to do was leave and rot in your bed but you didn't want to leave her, you guys were in the middle of a conversation. It was awkward, you shift in your spot and try to pay them no mind but you feel hurt. You think about how happy she looks, how beautiful.

After a few more minutes she comes back with a big smile.

"Did you see all that?" She laughs while awkwardly holding the bouquet. You gave her a fake smile

"Yeah." you try to be happy for her.

She sighs and plays with her necklace. "Isn't he charming." you feel your heart break slightly. "He seems nice." your words come out less emotional than you wanted. "Are you okay?" she asks softly.

"I don't think I'm feeling well." in response to this she moves her hand to your forehead. "You are kind of warm, you should get some rest."

You smile at her and say goodbye, but not before she gives you a big hug. All you can smell is her perfume and the vibrant roses she was gifted. "I hope you feel better Y/n." she spoke with sincere words.

You felt so guilty for being mad when she's so kind to you. You were now in bed doing exactly what you wanted earlier. You had been crying, your eyes are puffy and your heart is melting into the bed with the rest of your body. How could she ever love you. He doesn't deserve her yet you certainly don't. Maybe he's the love of her life, she'll be happy with him.

Happier than she would have with you.

You didn't even notice you tell asleep until a knock wakes you up. You notice it's now night and you can feel the dried tears on your cheeks. You slowly get up and groggily walk to the door. You open the door and you're met with Navia. She's holding a container and a bag of her belongings. She gives you a big smile and you move aside and let her in.

She walks in and places her stuff down "How are you feeling?" you watch her as she puts her stuff down.

It's muscle memory at this point, there's never a week where she doesn't come over and spend the night at least once.

You didn't even notice you fell asleep until a knock wakes you up. You notice it's now night and you can feel the dried tears on your cheeks. You slowly get up and groggily walk to the door. You open the door and you're met with Navia. She's holding a container and a bag of her belongings. She gives you a big smile and you move aside and let her in.

She walks in and places her stuff down "How are you feeling?" you watch her as she puts her stuff down.

It's muscle memory at this point, there's never a week where she doesn't come over and spend the night at least once.

"Better." you smile at her. A genuine smile this time, you're really happy to be with her right now even if its not in the way you want.

"I made you soup, it's my dads recipe." She grabs a bowl and a spoon. You watch her while she does this and you noticed her necklace was gone. "Where's the necklace that guy gave you?"

She lets out a laugh before saying "I gave it back to him, I didn't say it in the moment because I was flustered but...I have my eyes on someone else." She glances your way before putting the soup in the bowl.

Her eyes lingered for a second longer and you swore the whole world stopped. Confusion was evident on your face and you looked away and tried to wonder who she really liked. 'Me?' you thought before you were snapped out of your mind when she plopped down next to you, rather close too. She handed you the soup and you take in the smell. It smelled like home. "This always makes me feel better when I'm sick."

Instead of smiling you frown at her "I need to tell you something. I wasn't sick...I was mad." She furrows her brows "Did I do something?"

Now you feel really guilty, you made her sad. "No- no of course not, I was...I was jealous of him." you look to the ground. Your nerves had finally set in, you realized you just confessed to her. She thinks for a moment confused until she finally spoke. "You were...jealous of him giving me flowers?"

"You looked really happy...I want to make you happy like he did." You voice faltered a bit and your heart beat picked up faster and you were quite literally freaking out. As soon as you turned to apologize she pulled you into a kiss. It was only a peck as she pulled away quickly. "I am so sorry! I didn't know what I-" you kissed her.

You gave her a proper kiss. And she kissed you back. After putting the soup on your bedside table you both go back to each other's lips. You wrap your arm around her neck and she puts a hand on your waist. You pull away and look at each other for a second. She laughs, and you swear it is the most beautiful thing you have seen. "Have you liked me all this time?" she said in between giggles. "Oh my god. We could have been together all this time."

You start to laugh now before hugging her. "I thought you were into guys!" "Are you saying I don't give off sapphic energy!?" She laughs into your shoulder.

"I thought about it but I wasn't sure I've only seen you with guys." She kissed you on the cheek and you're heart almost explodes. "I love women too, and I love you."

"I love you too." You bring her back into a sweet kiss. "Can you please try the soup now, I worked hard on it." She fakes a pout before grabbing the bowl.

[sarahjtv]

My Hero Academia Chapter 425 Spoiler Talk

I'm enjoying writing about this stuff again, though I've got a headache going on, so I'll do the best I can for now. I might add in stuff later:

I'm very happy to see our Big 3 graduate finally! I was kinda worried Mirio wouldn't even graduate for a second, but I'm happy to see that he did and he gave a valedictorian-esque speech to everyone talking about rebuilding society so everyone can have a bright future like Sir Nighteye wanted. Ending his speech with a joke is such a Mirio Togata thing 😂. I'm going to miss that guy so much 🥹

Why are Deku and some other students just lying on the ground with their feet up like that btw? Did they run out of chairs or something? It's a weird, quirky little thing that's just there, I guess.

The narration mentions that it's June in the MHA universe now (Happy Pride, btw 🏳️‍🌈). So, if the War took place around April or May, then it's been at least 1 month since we last saw the kids at the hospital.

Our class 1-A is now officially Class 2-A! They're finally second years as they should have been. Everyone including Aizawa is alive, though saying they're well is debatable. Everyone is clearly still injured in some way, shape, or form. Most have several bandages and even Jiro looks like she has a prosthetic for her missing left earphone jack.

Quick note: I notice that Bakugo is actually wearing a tie with his uniform now. It's still not buttoned up, but you can tell that he's definitely softened a bit since the war. EDIT: Looking at it again, it might not be buttoned up because he has a cast holding his right arm, but it’s hard to tell from the scans.

Aoyama not wanting to return to UA is sad, but it makes sense. I'd argue that he earned his place there regardless of AFO's influence, but I can understand that he doesn't feel that way and wants to redeem himself and become a hero in his own way without being forced to betray his friends and teachers.

Replacing Aoyama will be Hitoshi Shinso! I think most of us predicted that Shinso would be joining Class 2-A, but I'm very happy to see that confirmed. It's going to be a bit of a weird start for him, but I think he'll get used to his new classmates quickly.

Another quick note: The second-year cloud girl, Fuwa Mitawa, is seen quite a bit in this chapter and her return is something Horikoshi promised many volumes ago, so I'm glad to see him keep that promise.

Those two first panels of Shouto make me so sad, y'all 😭... His hair is so messy and you can see bags under his eyes. It's hard to tell because of the leaks, but I don't know if there's even light left in his eyes. He looks so exhausted. What happened to Dabi, Endeavor, and the rest of his family? I have no doubt that he's been agonizing over them for god knows how long. I hate seeing him like this, honestly. He's my favorite character and deserves all the good in the world, especially after the harsh life he's been put through. I want to give Shouto all the hugs in the world 🩵.

I don't think Deku smiled at all this whole chapter btw. He tries to talk to Ochako at one point, but she interrupts him with a comment about his new haircut. He just looks sad this whole chapter. I bet he's still grieving and processing what happened. I need Izuku to open up to someone because he can't just bottle this up.

Then we have this mysterious man walking around a desolate town. We have absolutely no idea who this is, but apparently it isn't someone we know of. I want to say it's a grown-up Tenko Shimura somehow, but even that might be too farfetched.

Finally, there's Shouto and the Todorokis. Shouto reassures Deku that he's ok, but I bet my gatcha game currency that he's putting on a brave face because that final beautiful panel of him does not scream "I'm ok!" to me. If anything, I'm amazed Shouto doesn't look like he got any other permanent scars on his face at least.

It looks like Shouto is going to see his family at the hospital. Specifically Endeavor and what might be Dabi who's being kept alive in a big machine. It's hard to tell because the scans are so unclear, but I'm 90% sure that's Dabi in there. It's a miracle that man is alive given he was just a skeleton last we saw him. I'm 99% sure we're going to get a Hellish Todoroki Family Part 3 or something next chapter.

But, we won't see that until 3 weeks from now because we're officially on a 2-week break. There isn't a given reason why like Jujustu Kaisen got (Gege Akutami is sick, so he's taking 2-week break too), so I really hope Horikoshi is ok. It's either he's sick too or he needs time to think of the final chapters of MHA. Or both, that too. Regardless, any breaks given to Kohei Horikoshi to give him time to rest is ok with me. Just sucks for us as fans. Leaving us on THAT kind of a cliffhanger is just mean 😭

[1d1195]

Protection VIII

Read the rest here: Protection

Hi, this is kinda fast paced, idk. I'm def not confident about this section at all. I feel like it's got potential but I don't think I know what I'm doing. But I don't have a choice but to give it a shot anyway. I know I've mentioned before, but I like Grey's Anatomy and stupid cheesy movies with scenes like this.

Warnings: angst, blood, weapons, lots of sad sad stuff. I actually don't know how blood loss works or g*n shot wounds either but it's for the plot also this is very dramatized because the writing side of my brain is a drama queen. I don’t think it’s very accurate scientifically or logically so if you would be as so kind as to look at it “holistically” and try to just envision something super serious along these lines I would GRATEFULLY appreciate it. Also, I don't know how tech works. Sorry if it seems a bit awful

~5.9k words.

Thank you oh so much to @freedomfireflies for beta reading so I could feel a little better about actually posting this.

More than anything he wanted her to be there. Sitting on her bed reading or sleeping as she always was. He imagined her smug smile and her lilting voice murmuring “gotcha,” like this was the funniest prank.

Harry, for better or for worse, prided himself on being a hard worker. But for the last three days, and especially today, he didn’t care. He had spent the first half of that horrific day answering thousands of questions. The latter half was spent learning his new office job. When he got back to his apartment—a place he’d hardly spent any time in over the last two weeks—he finally let the tears and frustration course through him. He tried to call her again, but he received a message that his number had been blocked.

He called his mum and broke down.

So, he entered the building. It would be this way now. Day three of filing paperwork that he had spent so many hours writing for her. Now he was at the other end of it. Learning an office job when all he wanted was to head right to her flowery little place and beg her to explain. He wanted to kiss her, touch her, and promise her anything her heart wanted. He didn’t understand and he was floundering. How did he fix this? How was he supposed to breathe? After all that. After all the kisses, all the touches. All the touches he didn’t get and all the ones he deprived her of because it wasn’t protocol. What a stupid idiot.

Good luck, honey bun :( his mum texted. She texted it yesterday too and he wondered how long she would have to text it to him before the frowny face disappeared.

Harry was destined for another hundred meetings explaining that he had no idea she was feeling this way. Because of course, despite the fact he did know what she was feeling—because he felt it too—he felt so much loyalty to her. He didn’t know what her game was or why she was trying to sell it that it was one-sided, but despite how sad he was, she was brilliant. A biochemist in the making, of course, and if she had to break his heart, he believed (or wanted to believe) that she was doing the right thing.

Harry sat at his newly assigned desk and looked at the papers in front of him. Eventually, he would make her grovel for forgiveness. This was too much paperwork for him, and she had to have known how much he would have hated it. But he also thought that she would just look at him through her pretty eyelashes that drove him mad, smelling like flowers, and say sorry and that would be plenty.

There had to be an end to this. He was certain of it.

Niall wasn't allowed to tell him anything that he heard. Harry wasn't allowed to ask about her either (Niall, naturally a stickler for protocol, was following the rule--he didn't even know what she was up to. His job was to train Harry. Their supervisor saw to it that she was under his own surveillance.

"It feels m'being forced t'write with m'left hand after being right handed for m'whole life," he explained to Niall dejectedly. For five months his thoughts were consumed with the flowery girl he fell so incredibly hard for. Overnight she was just gone.

Harry began flipping through papers and tapping at his keyboard for all of four minutes when Niall suddenly dragged him out of his seat, down the hall, and back out the front door without a word. “Niall!” He ground out bitterly. He wasn’t in the mood. He wanted to kill his friend a bit for even recommending he be part of this. He wished he wasn’t her bodyguard. At least he wouldn’t be sour with heartache.

But honestly, Harry owed Niall his entire life for bringing him to her.

“She’s gone.”

Harry stared at him blankly. “Who?”

Niall slapped him across the face—not quite hard but enough to stun him and knock some sense into him. “She’s gone.”

Harry felt like this was a dream. His brain was floating distantly. “What are y’talking ‘bout?”

“There's an email on my phone, to my private email, from a random address, a random IP address. It’s her. She said DSS is compromised...that someone in the department wants her out of the picture and if I’m reading it, it means that she is not in her apartment regardless of what they say. The very same email is going to be sent in ninety minutes to everyone at DSS.”

Harry shook his head. “No, that’s a lie.”

“Harry,” Niall said. “It’s going to...blow everything up. You have to—”

“Niall, that’s ridiculous. She would—”

“She said to tell you the email is from Miss Wildflower.”

The words died in his throat. “No,” he shook his head. That wasn’t something he’d ever written down, wasn’t something he called her to anyone else. That was for him and her...and... “No...it’s not her. She’s fine,” he was in denial. How could he not be? The thought that something happened to her? This wasn’t just some long routed way of her anxiety taking over and ruining something before it started. It wasn’t getting Harry off her detail so they could spend Christmas together (something he had convinced himself of when he was crying to his mom the night before).

“No, Harry, and I'm gonna have to go make a scene and tell them but I’m giving you a head start because she's giving you a head start. You don’t have time to waste here. I’m telling them I sent you home. That you’re too distraught to work.”

Swallowing hard, he nodded. “Okay.”

“She didn’t want you to get hurt,” Niall said. “She was...scared.” Harry frowned and nodded even though he thought he was going to be sick. He winced as he thought it over. Put his hands on his knees as he took heaving breaths. “Harry,” Niall said gently. “You don’t have time—”

“Jus’ shut up, Niall,” he croaked. Niall was silent, biting the inside of his cheek. He couldn’t imagine the heartache and anguish his friend was feeling.

“At least...at least there was a reason, right?” Niall murmured.

If it meant her harm or kidnapping or...worse. No. It wasn’t worth it. It didn’t matter the reason. “Yeah...” he mumbled.

*

Since Harry was no longer on her detail, he assumed he wouldn’t be allowed into her apartment building—at least not through the main entrance.

Even if he was allowed in the main entrance, he had to work under the assumption that whatever compromised agents would be waiting out front for him. So he would need an alternate route.

He hurried up her fire escape and opened her bedroom window just as he knew she did the very first day he met her. He was suddenly grateful for her never listening to Harry about protocol. He was glad the window was unlocked. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

More than anything he wanted her to be there. Sitting on her bed reading or sleeping as she always was. He imagined her smug smile and her lilting voice murmuring “gotcha,” like this was the funniest prank.

Her pretty poinsettia and snowdrop apartment enveloped him like a hug. He wanted to bask in the smell of her pine-scented Christmas tree, the way her perfume made him feel at home, and just be there with her. But instead, he was trying hard to keep focus while he wanted nothing more than to break down and sob into the pillow that smelled like her shampoo.

He listened quietly and heard no one in the rest of the apartment. He searched for clues of any kind but there were none. No sign of a struggle. It was like she went with them willingly. Knowing her, she probably convinced them to let her walk on her own. But part of him believed she would have put up a fight. She had to have, right?

Her phone was on the counter. So there was no way to track her, he saw the tens of messages that came from him before he was blocked, a few from Niall, and several from the professor she would be working with next semester.

But it was Harry’s phone vibrating in his pocket was the one that pulled him from his thoughts.

Unknown: Video Attachment.

She was there. He could see her in the preview. Seeing her was like breathing again after being stuck under water for a hair too long. She was alive. She had memorized Harry’s number.

Harry thought memorizing his number was...

If it were possible to fall more in love with her, he did. It couldn't be possible because there simply wasn't room. He was already so in love with her. And it was just his phone number, after all. But he did. He fell so much harder. It felt like the marrow in his bones were aching for her touch.

Harry swallowed and sat on her sofa as he played it.

“Hi Dad...um...” she swallowed hard, like there was a lump in her throat. She looked okay. Her hair was in a braid, strands of it coming out and there was a redness to only one of her cheeks...like she had been slapped. Harry gripped his phone tightly to keep from throwing it. Her eyelashes, those pretty fluttery things that drove him nuts with desire for her, looked wet. His heart pounded. “You know,” she took a deep, shaky breath and she sucked her lip into her mouth.

“Hurry up,” he heard in the background. Wherever she was was nondescript. A construction site by the look of it. Nothing in the video sounded or looked like anything of use to finding her location. She shook her head quickly and tried again. Swallowed again.

“When Mom died, I thought the people that murdered her should have just...ended my life too. I know you know someone murdered her. No one believed me. Not one person. And I thought...I was the only person left in your life. You were supposed to love me and take care of me the way she always did. It killed me every single day that you didn’t—that you don't. It hurts so much that you hate me. Please. Just do what he asks; give him whatever...I don't want to die," she was being so brave. It was the way she held herself. How she seemed to stand straighter in the video. But Harry could hear the nervousness. Who wouldn't be nervous? It broke his heart that she was fighting and being so incredibly brave. "I’ll never bother you ever again. I’ll...go....I'll leave the country...I’ll just go."

“You have two hours,” and then he received a message from the same unknown number, the location of the park he went to when she twisted her ankle.

Harry only had a little under an hour because he knew DSS was going to be on their way soon—especially after Niall sent them on their way. If they received this message too, they would go through some inane plan that would decidedly not work--especially knowing that they were compromised. He was going to send the messages to Niall’s email from an rerouted IP address as soon as he watched the videos a few more times because if they were going to terrify her, Harry was going to help ruin their plan. They would wait for the park. It was what they did. It was the surest way. Protocol.

Harry would have given anything to see her roll her eyes at the word.

He watched the video again. And again. On the third time he was looking at the screen so closely, his eyes looking for some secret message hidden in the pixels. She looked okay, cozy. She was wearing the sweatshirt that Harry wore when he was soaked with rain—when the worst thing that happened to her was that stupid guy leaving her injured in a park. She didn’t look injured now, at least. His heart was aching. It had to be something. She wouldn’t have sent this to him for no reason--it was intended for her dad. It had to be a sign. Moreover, she said something about leaving the country--that had to be for Harry.

Harry felt like he would die if he didn’t figure it out on the next play through. It couldn’t be too hard. She may be a biochemist, but she couldn't have made it something ridiculous for him to solve. He wasn't a biochemist after all. That concert seemed like a lifetime ago. His agitation for losing her phone seemed stupid in comparison. He would tell her such as soon as he found her.

Now he was thinking about everything, every interaction they had as he stared at his phone, trying to will the hidden message to appear. It felt like it was a miracle she lost her phone at that concert. At least he told her she needed a failsafe at that point in time. Although he thought it would be for a guy that was too forward.

It was her hands.

They fidgeted throughout the entire video. He didn’t notice at first. She was nervous, her hands were tied together. Her fingers had to be going numb. He wished he had taught her how to break out of zip ties, maybe she could have escaped all on her own.

But that was when he noticed it. If it weren’t for him knowing the basics enough to know his own name when he saw it, he might not have paid any mind to the shape of her fist. Her fingers were shaking near the middle of her stomach. Her left hand was fidgeting wildly. But her right hand had a pattern, a fist, her pinky, her index and middle finger, another fist, her index finger.

Harry was glad her backpack was untouched. He grabbed one of her index cards and searched on his phone for the American Sign Language alphabet. He knew the first one was A because of his own name. Her pinky meant I. An R. Harry got it...it was her failsafe.

“Good girl,” he murmured to no one. Air. It took him four extra seconds to discern between S, M, N, E, A before he finally moved to the last two. He settled on T because the next letters were another A and G.

AirTag.

What would have an AirTag on her? He didn't have time to question it. He slid her computer out of her bag next, an index card falling from it.

His heart broke.

Harry— I Am SO sorry. I am so, so, so sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you. I know you’re going to find me because...you’re you and you make me feel safe. And because...well... I adore you. So much. I tried so hard not to, and I tried so hard to push you away and... Please TRY to forgive me. I promise I did it with reason. I’m so sorry, Harry. SO sorry.

He didn’t have time to cry but he shoved the note in his pocket, wishing he told her he loved her at least once. Ever. He couldn’t pore over her words. Couldn’t guess what she was thinking or doing. There wasn’t time for him to guess how she knew he would find this note. Of course, she couldn’t just put all the answers on this index card because if she did, anyone could find it. Someone at DSS would have found it if she hadn’t perfectly planned for Niall to send him here beforehand. He had to find her faster and before that stupid, corrupt building got there.

Now he was tasked with her password.

Please be easy.

He clicked on the “forgot password" link. A helpful little reminder was there: Flower!number. It seemed daunting immediately. Especially because he was so distraught and worried. There were so many flowers she could have put. He tried Sunflower!14. Snowdrop!14. Peonies!14. How many times could he try? He was terrified it would lock him out. He took a deep breath and he only had moments to figure it out because he was certain people would be hurrying to her apartment from DSS soon.

Tilting his head back at the ceiling he almost felt embarrassed at how easy it seemed now.

Wildflower!14 did the trick.

With a sigh of relief, he searched AirTag on her computer. He opened the application.

She had no less than 50 AirTags. Forty-nine of which were in her apartment with Harry. All labeled with various names for her shoes.

Good girl. He thought. It was in her shoe. When would she be without shoes?

The only shoes that weren’t in her apartment were in a warehouse across the city. He scribbled the address on another index card and shoved it in his pocket alongside her perfect note telling him she loved him.

Harry could hear a commotion starting in the lobby. Sirens were ringing outside. They were coming up the stairs. He closed her laptop, slid it back into her backpack and hurried to her bedroom hoping everything look untouched. He quietly closed the window behind him as they entered her apartment. He descended the fire escape before they made it to her room.

If she could see him breaking protocol, he imagined she would laugh.

*

Harry parked a block away from the address. As soon as he entered the building, he hurried up two flights of stairs to where he heard talking. “It was a risk I had to take!” It was a man’s voice. Harry felt sick. “It was suspicious!” He shouted. “She said she would get more money. How was I supposed to know that?!”

“Get up,” he snapped.

She yelped and Harry thought he might die before he made it to her if he heard her getting hurt even slightly. If he pulled her hair or caused her to stub her toe, Harry would genuinely contemplate murdering him.

Harry pulled the gun from the holster around his ankle. He pointed it down toward the ground and waited by the entrance to the floor and peered so very briefly around the corner of the wall. He caught a glimpse of her beautiful being walking on her own. A gun pressed to her back. Harry swallowed the bile rising in his throat.

If something happened to her, Harry would never forgive himself.

"Listen," she said almost gently. Like she was going to reason with someone with a gun. She was going to get herself murdered and Harry couldn't stop her right now. "I know...I know you want money. I get that, honestly I do. Who doesn't, right?"

God Harry envied her serenity in a moment like this.

He wasn't actively putting bullets in her so she continued. "You're a smart guy. They wouldn't have picked you to do this if you weren't, but you...you have to realize you're their fall guy. This is a national security matter. The first sign of trouble they're going to say you kidnapped me, you hurt me. They will come out clean because they have to," she explained so rationally it would have been obvious to anyone with a pulse. "You don't have to take me there," she finally whimpered the true emotion she was feeling. Harry winced as if her pain was in his own body--he certainly felt like it was. "I can just go...I have a plan. I...or we can fake my death. It doesn't have to be this way," she promised. Like they were going to be a team.

But Harry knew what it was: all her rambling. It was a distraction, it was stalling.

Because she had no way of knowing if Harry made it in time to save her--but the one thing she did know? If she was brought to the park...it was all over.

Harry took a deep silent breath trying very hard to keep as calm as possible because he could not afford one second of hesitation or any kind of slip up. He turned the corner aiming his weapon toward the man holding her at gunpoint. “Harry!” She gasped and made three bold steps toward him; hands still bound up in front of her. The man behind her fired off a round right toward the concrete wall just feet away. Harry didn’t waver, holding his own gun steady in front of him as she yelped again, pausing her steps. It was long enough that he snagged her back before she got any closer to Harry.

The person behind her had his arm around the front of her shoulders. He pressed the cold metal to her temple. She wanted to scream or cry or something. Her hands clutched to the man’s forearm trying desperately to wriggle free. He was using her as a shield—the coward. Harry wanted to scream too. He held his gun aimed directly at his head from several meters away. But it was way too close of a shot for him to even think about taking it. Not with her right there. Not with a weapon held to her beautiful, perfect face.

It felt like all those times he watched guys lean too close to her at the bar amplified by ten thousand. It felt like the realization that stupid prick slipped something in her drink multiplied by a million. His lips were near her ear. Harry was so grateful she was alive and awake.

And maybe, most importantly to Harry, she looked pissed.

“He’s going to kill you,” she hissed at him, tears in her eyes. Bless her angry little heart.

That’s my girl. Harry thought. Harry was going to kill him. Especially if he harmed her in any capacity. He pressed the gun harder against her skin and she winced. Harry faltered for half a second.

“Are you okay?” He asked, sounding so much braver than he felt. He was a mess internally. It was a wonder his hands didn’t shake holding his weapon. He wanted to surrender himself—him for her, he would have taken her spot in a heartbeat. He would do anything to get her out of here.

“Right as rain,” the man said. Harry wondered if he should just take his shot right now. Damn it all because he wanted to kill him for thinking this was funny.

She nodded, just barely. Harry felt the most minor amount of relief.

She could try to run for him again. She was certain she could make it—she almost did. Harry would stop him before he even realized she managed to get away from him. A kick to the shin—or worse. The only thing that stopped her was the metal against her head. She was terrified that one wrong movement would set off a reflexive action that would take her life. Harry inched closer. Six measly feet away from her. She could nearly smell his fresh cologne probably applied habitually before he headed to work.

But six feet may as well have been six thousand miles.

“I can kill her, now,” he said. “Makes no difference to me. I get paid either way,” she inhaled sharply. She thought there would be a bruise from the circular barrel pressing to her skull.

She swallowed, staring at Harry. Perfect, wonderful Harry. If this was the last time her eyes were opened, at least he would be the last thing she saw. Harry had to focus on staying as calm as humanly possible. Even though the thrum of his pulse was like thunder in every inch of his body. She looked unharmed and said she was okay...other than her wrists tied together. “If you kill me, you’ll never get to my dad,” she reminded him. Harry was surprised to hear her talk about her dad. There had to be something more. But he didn’t have time to think about it. He had to get her out of here.

He eyed Harry as he inched even closer. “Keep moving, I’ll kill her,” he promised with a shrug. Harry stopped in his tracks, and she tried to pull her head from the gun. She was so brave, not even the tears in her eyes were stopping her from trying to get away.

Harry was going to give her anything she wanted. A thousand coffees, a million movies, a new set of pens and a fresh batch of index cards, or a hundred fake bouquets to decorate her place. Whatever she wanted.

“Harry,” she whispered breathlessly. He wanted to cry at the sound of worry in her voice.

“I know, love,” he murmured, trying to feign this wasn’t killing him.

“I’m sorry,” she croaked.

He wanted to wince, but he couldn’t blink. It felt like if he dropped his gaze for even a second it would be over. He would lose. He could not lose her. He didn’t respond to her. “Shut up,” the man snapped. She dropped her hands from his arm and Harry wondered how he didn’t drop his gun at the sight. It looked like she was giving up. It felt like they had to give up. What were they supposed to do? It was so quiet; even the cars outside the building seemed to be silent.

Harry and the unknown man stared at each other unmoving from their positions. It was almost like he was watching her in his peripheral vision he saw her fingers fidgeting just like they had in the video. A repetitive movement. Except this wasn’t quite sign language.

This was her thumb and index finger forming the shape of a gun and then her thumb pointing back toward herself shifting ever so slightly so her movement wouldn’t alert the man holding her hostage. Harry shook his head imperceptibly.

“Please,” she begged.

“I said, ‘shut up’,” he gripped her tighter, shaking her and Harry allowed himself to wince. He shook his head more obviously.

“Harry,” she whimpered.

“I’m going to put a bullet right in your mouth, shut. Up,” he pulled on the safety which clicked so loudly in her ear she thought it was the trigger on its own.

She released a horrific, terrified sob. “Harry, please,” she croaked.

Harry thought his heart was going to break. He nearly closed his eyes as he pulled his trigger right when she sobbed.

The sound of her cry marginally covered the ear-piercing ring of the weapon. She tore herself from the man’s grip impulsively. It was primal, the need to tend to her new wound. The sound and sight of Harry shooting at her had clearly done exactly as she wanted: completely distracted him. Trying to grab at the burning pain in her thigh with her wrists held together. She screamed so violently, so loud, Harry swore it was louder than the sound of the bullet.

As she dropped to the ground; Harry had a clear shot of the man and took it. It pierced directly through his forearm, so he dropped the gun. Harry placed another precise shot to the opposite shoulder rendering both his arms useless.

She was writhing in agony but somehow managed to reach for his weapon with her tied arms, and awkwardly shoved it out of his reach. Harry thought she was his hero. He was going to give her anything she wanted for as long as she lived.

Blood was pooling from both parties and Harry grabbed the man by his injured arm, nearly digging his thumb into the wound to make it worse. He groaned and yelled. He sounded worse than she did. He tried not to think about his beautiful angel bleeding with a wound he caused. All of the wounds he inflicted were well out of harm's way. They would repair eventually.

But Harry didn't need to be shot with a bullet to know it hurt. There was a reason people used the expression I need it like I need a hole in the head when they talked about something they definitely didn't want.

Harry thought honestly about snapping his neck. Instead, he shoved him behind the pole facing away from them, blood dripping in his path and wrapped his arms around the pole, handcuffed them together so he couldn’t escape with a set of zip ties he brought with himself--because Harry was not taking any risks when he found her. He had to be dealt with quickly, but he wasn’t important in the grand scheme of things.

With the few seconds it took Harry to rid himself of the nuisance now stuck behind the pole, moaning in agony until he could get DSS and the cops, (and everyone under the sun) here. It took a moment for Harry to realize he hadn’t heard her screams of pain as he did. She was lying on the ground, eyes closed, face paling, blood pooling around her lower half.

Oh fuck.

“Love?” He whispered brokenly. Harry dropped to his knees beside her. She was bleeding so much. Too much. The training he had from his EMT days was kicking in reflexively thank God. His movements were quick: yanking his belt off, violently pulling himself out of his coat and ripping the bottom part of his shirt off. Her jeans were soaked with her blood, seeping its way up her sweatshirt. He yanked her wrists free of the zip ties finally. I have to get her a new sweatshirt he thought uselessly.

Harry wasn’t nauseous about blood. But the thought of her dying because of blood loss made him feel so sick. Why did he listen to her? Why would he shoot her? Why, why, why!?

He was trying to do too many things at once. His right hand was holding pressure with the piece of his shirt against her wound. He pressed so hard; an insane amount of pressure—he thought he might break her already fragile leg, but it would be worth it if she would wake up. He nicked something. Something bad. Or she had a clotting problem. Something was amiss. This...this was one of the safest places he could have aimed. It had one of the highest recovery rates. All he had to do was follow her stupid fucking plan.

But it wasn't stupid. It was exactly what she wanted. It was what she expected. Harry just had no idea she had prepared for that.

If she could talk Harry down she would have. It wasn't his fault. He followed her plan even though she never explicitly told him. Even though he had no idea she didn't know her own anatomy all that well and accidentally lined up one of the arteries (but fortunately did miss her femoral artery--just barely).

His left hand dialed 911. He didn’t let the operator talk, he was spewing out the address, who he was, what the issue was, barely getting the details out in a messy rush. Harry barely waited a moment before he hung up and called Niall. He didn’t listen to anything he had to say at the other end of the line and repeated the same summary again, this time losing it the longer he talked, his voice coming out in a strangled cry and if it was anyone but Niall he would worry more about professionalism.

“Baby,” he croaked leaving the phone on, shaking her by the shoulder, he lifted her head out of the puddle of blood, her face and hair sticky with the substance. He slipped his jacket beneath her head, a cushion something to get her off the cold, bloody floor. “You gotta let me see those beautiful eyes...” he shook her head. “Love, please,” he begged giving her a squeeze. She moaned and her eyes fluttered behind the lids a bit. The slight relief he felt seemed like hope. “That’s good. Hey, hi, angel,” he cooed. Her eyes turned to little slits as she opened them so very barely. “Good job,” he praised. “Y’jus' gotta stay awake for like 10 more minutes, sweetheart. Okay? Ambulance is coming,” he promised. He continued working on her leg. He was wrapping his belt around her thigh, high around the top. He pulled it into a tight knot. She moaned at the feeling.

“Stop,” she whimpered reaching with her freed hand uselessly for his ministrations.

“I know, love, m’sorry,” he felt his voice dying in his throat. This was bad. So horrifically, bad. “Y’got a bit of a gash here, Miss Wildflower, jus’ like when y’were cooking,” he reminded her. “Remember?”

She didn’t respond and Harry found a piece of metal, like something from the construction that was left lying around, to slip in the knot he made. He twisted it causing an involuntary scream to rip from her throat. He winced at the sound of her agony.

“Harry please,” she begged, eyes dripping with tears. Her hands reached again for him to stop. “It hurts!”

“I know, m'love. M’sorry. Jus’ gotta...” he kept twisting and holding pressure on the wound. Her hands reached for it again, he grabbed both, she was too weak to do anything anyway, but he held them both against her side. “There,” he felt a pinch more relief seeing the gushing had stopped.

“S’cold,” she whispered after a moment of stillness. The burning seemed to stop. It was overshadowed by how cold she was.

Harry thought he might die if she died right in front of him. His heart was racing, the adrenaline was violently coursing through him. “I know beautiful, I know. Goddammit,” he hissed. “Niall, I need back up. Now!”

He pressed harder on her wound and looked at the pool of blood surrounding her. It was too much, too dark. “Ow, Harry! Please, stop! It hurts!” She whimpered.

“I know, honey, I know. I’m so sorry m’angel. I’m so sorry.” He could hear the sirens. “Jus’ another minute.”

She groaned for a few seconds before silence took over again. Harry pressed on her wound again. He was covered in her blood as well. She moaned again at the fiery pain. “M’sleepy,” she managed.

“I know, beautiful. I know; but y’can’t sleep yet. Not yet. I’ll let you sleep soon, I promise.”

More silence. “S’really cold.”

Harry wanted to cry. He sniffled and realized he already was. “I know, sweetheart. I know.”

“M’sorry I ran away,” she mumbled. He didn’t say anything because he didn’t want her to know how mad he was even though she seemed close to dying. “I had...had to...get you away...they’d kill you. And then... I’d have no one…at least this way...” she trailed off.

“Kitten,” he said firmly, he swallowed back the tears. Squeezed her hands. “You are going t’get in an ambulance in thirty seconds and you are going t’live a long, beautiful life. Please jus’ stay awake for jus’ a few more minutes.”

Harry swore she smiled faintly. “...With you?”

“God, if s’what y’want. I'll stay forever, love. Jus’ stay awake, please,” he begged. She didn't respond and Harry began to panic. Where was the fucking ambulance? “Angel, Tell me the functional groups.”

“Hmm?”

“Please, love. Tell them t’me again.”

“Ketone. Carbonyl. Acyl…” she sighed.

“Describe aldehyde,” he croaked. “Niall! Where is it?! Please, baby,” she could feel his hand on her face, but she realized she couldn’t see him anymore. “Kitten, honey, please open your eyes.”

Was he crying?

She wanted to say she loved him out loud. Wanted to say she was sorry for everything one more time but unfortunately her tongue was suddenly too heavy to speak. She swore she heard Harry crying, shouting, and whispering he loved her right in her ear as she drifted off to sleep.

--

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[misguidedasgardian]

The Dutiful (5)

5. Dutifully pregnant

MASTERLIST

Summary: You aren’t as ready to start this next part of your marriage 

Pairing: Mob!Lloyd Hansen x Fem!Reader

Warnings: DARK, misogynistic behaviour, mob bussiness, age gap (Lloyd’s late thirties, reader is mid-twenties), mentions of death of a parent, pregnancy, thoughts about cheating, a little angst, fluff too, might miss some warnings. 

+18 MINORS DNI

Wordcount: 2,6 k

Notes: This is a mix! people asked me to write Jealous reader with Lloyd, and I mixed it up a bit

It finally happened! Lloyd was going to be so happy, or at least you hoped so

You had been feeling hellish lately, so after months of unprotected sex you kind of expected it, so when you took that test and it came back positive, you were almost relieved

You were pregnant

You had to tell Lloyd, so you asked Ari to drive you to the HQ of the family company where he worked and had his office. Once you reached the building everyone greeted you as you made your way towards his office on the last floor.

You walked in without even knocking, you thought this was way more important that anything that might be happening inside Lloyd’s office

But as soon as you saw the people inside it, you felt like it was, you felt like you interrupted. Lloyd´s secretary, a gorgeous voluptuous woman who wore her white blouse too tight and her pencil skirt too short was leaning over him, who was seated on his office chair as her tits were in his line of vision. She had clearly opened two extra buttons so Lloyd had to only lean in a little more to see her nipples

They looked at you like you were interrupting something, they weren’t even touching, but you knew there were going to, you recognized that look on your husband’s face

“Hey wifey” he greeted after clearing off his throat, she stood up from her leaning position and she kinda turned away from you to fix her shirt.

“Hey” your voice came out broken, and sad, as a tightening sensation got a hold on your chest, it was clear now, that he was cheating on you, or wanted to at least 

“You came to visit me pumpkin?” he asked, his demeanor playful and prideful like always, like you hadn't just now walk in on him starting at his secretary’s boobs like he was about to jump between them

“Ah yeah” you whispered, staying still on your spot. You held tighter on the positive test you had on your hand, but you hid it up the sleeve of the jacket you were wearing, not that he didn’t notice you were hiding something. “But I’m clearly interrupting” 

You left right then, not being able to look him in the face, not caring for his reaction, you just wanted to leave, this office, this tower. You couldn’t hide your whimper when you got into the elevator, and the last thing you saw before the door closed was his face, he had followed you to the lift but couldn’t catch you. 

You didn’t know if it was your ego, or your heart that got bruised. You didn’t think you loved Lloyd, but you did think you meant something to him, it had never crossed your mind that he would cheat on you, you thought these mafia guys had this special loyalty to them. So it was your ego, and you were so proud this hurt even more. You walked out of the building to find Ari talking to some of the guys. When he saw you he looked surprised, perhaps were the bitter tears that fell from your eyes

“What’s the matter?” he asked

“Take me home, now” you demanded, opening your own door and jumping on the car. Without another word, he got in the car and started it

“May I ask what happened?” Since Ari took you from your house to the office in the first place, he already knew what you were going to tell Lloyd, that you were expecting his first child.

“Did you all know?” you asked back, Ari looked at you through the rearview mirror, “Do you all know he cheats on me and take pleasure in my ignorance?” you asked then

“He doesn't” he said firmly, “He would never…” 

“Because I found him about to” you said mindlessly

“With who?” he asked, clearly surprised 

“That secretary, the one that could stop traffic with her gorgeous body” you mentioned

“She always is throwing herself at us, and to Lloyd, but I never thought he would take that…”

“She was my father’s secretary” you mentioned, “He fucked her too” 

“Did you catch him like… with his pants down?” he asked then, almost fearful. like he was also disappointed in the betrayal

“No” you answered truthfully, “He was staring down her cleavage like he was going to jump in it” you muttered, “I’m not an idiot… I recognize that look on his face…”

“I know for a fact he wouldn’t fuck her” he said firmly

“But he lets her throw herself at him like that” you accused

“Did you at least get to tell him?”

“I didn’t” you answered, “at least when I do he can finally leave me alone to go fuck whoever he pleases, since his job is going to be complete”

“Don’t talk like that, he loves you, and wouldn’t do that to you” 

“You know what? I don’t care” and just like that, Ari left you alone all the way back home. 

. . .

Tonight you had a fundraiser, an event the company held to make it look like you cared for saving the sharks while they deal drugs underneath the table

You remembered fondly how your father was sitting in his study while you strode in, 5 years old, telling him a gruesome story you saw at discovery channel, that the poor sharks were hunted for their fins, brutally maimed and then thrown back in the sea while they can’t swim and drown, so you gave him the perfect cover for the event, a fundraiser to save sharks

It did save the sharks, building a multimillion dollar sanctuary, but whatever.

You sat in front of your vanity to do your makeup, while glancing at the clock, you knew Lloyd was going to be home soon, so you wanted to be ready, not wanting to face him, not wanting to fight or argue, you just didn’t have the strength. You were going to play along.

Well, you did spend most of the morning puking and you felt like shit, your thrill for the fight was long gone

“You look beautiful sweetheart” you jumped when you heard Lloyd, who was leaning into the doorframe of the bathroom

“Thanks” you whispered turning your attention back to the mirror to try place the blending powder

“You ran off this morning” that teasing voice really just made you want to puke some more

“Well, Andy told me you had back to back meetings all morning so, I didn’t want to interrupt” you explain and the lie came out of your mouth so fast it amazed you

“Oh, well, we can skip this boring fundraiser if you want, want me to take you to dinner instead?”

“I want to go” you said firmly, “It meant a lot to me and to my father”

“Of course” he places his big hand on your naked shoulders and leaned in to kiss your temple, “What color is your dress?” he asked

“Beat you to it” you answered as you now were concentrating in the shade of your eyes, “Already pick 4 choices of tie that match, they are on your closet with your suit” He smiled wickedly in the reflection

“Aren’t you sweet?” he left you alone to go get dressed now, and you appreciated that he didn’t acknowledge the little scene in the office, you appreciated he didn’t want to kick you while you were down, perhaps he was appreciating that you didn’t make a scene, that you were compliant. You wanted to cry.

He was your husband!

Yours!

Perhaps it wasn’t your ego but your heart, perhaps you wanted him all to yourself

Perhaps you cared he was going to be the father of the baby that was growing inside of you. You both dressed in silence, and when you were ready you exited the room and walked together outside where the car was waiting for you. 

You were already inside the car when he grabbed your hand and took it towards his lap, he just left it there, without any dark intentions

“You left the office pretty quickly in the morning” he murmured casually

“I told you, Andy told me…”

“Bullshit” he chuckled, “You wanted to tell me something”

“No” you whispered, “I wanted to have lunch at Pissano’s, so I stopped by to see if you wanted to join me” 

“Are you having cravings, pumpkin?” he murmured cheekily

“No,” you muttered simply. You felt so petty, hiding this from him because you were angry and hurt, but it didn’t seem like the time

“You sure pumpkin?” he insisted, “is there nothing you want to tell me?” you found Ari’s look in the rearview mirror, thinking he might had betrayed you, but you shook your head

“I wanted to invite you to lunch” you said slowly, “But I walked in on you wanting to eat something else” you spitted out, and he froze were he sat, but then he just chuckled

“Is that why you are so grumpy with me?” 

“Leave me alone Lloyd” you felt like you were being cornered, or bullied, and you didn’t like it. He sighed in surrender, or boredom

“Whatever you think you saw, you didn’t”

“I saw enough” you snapped

“I’m not banging the secretary” he growled

“You know he used to fuck my dad too” you said bitterly. You heard him sigh loudly

“I’m not fucking her” he said clearly, but not raising his voice

“I don’t care Lloyd” you muttered

“Tell me what you wanted to tell me this morning” he demanded, leaning into you

“I have nothing to say”, you answered back, he looked at you intently, like he wanted to read into your own thoughts

“You sure darling?” his hot hand landed on your leg, causing your very skin to tingle. He wasn’t an idiot, you knew he might even have suspicions of what you might tell him. 

“We are here” saved by the arrival at the venue, you almost jumped out of the limo. The flashes of cameras and paparazzi hit you like a brick, you smiled shyly, waving a little and fixed your dress, you walked inside the venue leaving Lloyd behind you, not caring if he was following you or not. 

But you felt his hand on your lower back, helping you up the stairs of the natural history museum, and you smiled at all the people who were there to greet you, throwing questions at you, flashing their cameras at your face, but you were used to it.

The ball started without any complications, soon it was time for a heartfelt speech you had wrote, telling all the people gathered how much this event meant for you and for your father, and about the sanctuary you had built with the money gathered and how you planned on making it even bigger every year, accepting more species of sea animals, and Whale Sharks for the next season.

You look at your side in the midst of applause to look at Lloyd, but he was whispering with his secretary at his side, they seemed serious, like they were talking about work, you got distracted, but soon placed back on track to finish your speech

As soon as people started clapping, Lloyd realized the apparently boring speech was over, and clapped too 

You ignored him when he offered you his hand to get down from the podium, instead were congratulated by the scientists, veterinarians and other people on the board of your organization. 

but you occasionally looked his way, and he was with that blonde stuck to his side, even as he spoke to other people. 

He had pulled you out of any dealings with the company, you guessed he wanted to do the same with you and the organization as well, he was not in his element, you guessed he didn’t like that. And you got sad all of a sudden. You looked at the glass of champagne you held in your hand, you were not drinking it, you held it for image only. 

Is that how is was going to be

You hand went instinctively to your belly

Is this how it was going to be?

He told you he loved you, and yet he didn’t show it, he was talking to all the women he could find in the night

You were only an obligation, a part of the contract for him to inherit all of it, you were just part of his job. 

You could hide it any longer, you excused yourself and walked to the nearest bathroom, that luckily for you, was empty, and huge. You hid behind a wall on the other side, where there was eats, and a dressing table. 

You used your hand to stifle a moan

Perhaps it wasn’t just your ego, perhaps your heart was getting compromised.

You were all in with Lloyd, you had married him, you were pregnant by him, you didn’t want it to be just business, you wanted him by your side.

But he preferred the company of his secretary

He preferred the company of other women, perhaps that is why he made sure Ari was with you at all times, and he got so late to the house. 

“Pumpkin, you there?”, you gasped when you heard his voice, you quickly turned towards the mirror and wiped your tears expertly, not leaving signs in your make up

“I’ll be there shortly”, you said professionally, like you were talking to some unknown person

“Don’t give me that”, he mocked, turning the corner and finding you, “what is the matter?”, he asked, genuinely concerned 

“Its nothing”, you said, “I’m just tired”, he sighed, holding you, making you look at him

“Why are you crying?”, you couldn’t hide it from him

“Its nothing”, you dismissed it, but he wouldn’t let go

“I’m not banging the secretary”, he said, bored 

“Is not that”, you didn't even cared at this point, it could be the secretary, or it could be other hundred women

“Please honey”

“I’m pregnant”, you said, but he wasn’t surprised, he almost expected it, he chuckled

“And you didn’t want to tell me because…?”, he teased, you only looked down

“Lloyd, this is something else”, you told him, raising your eyes to look at him, “the games are over”

“What do you mean?”, he asked, looking concerned

“You are in or out, Lloyd”, you warned, and he frowned

“What do you mean…?”

“We are going to be parents”, you explained, “you are going to be a father, Lloyd”, you said seriously, “and this marriage, it seems like is a game to you”, a fresh badge of tears filled your eyes, “I get it, you married me because of the inheritance, but this is something else, we rather try to make this work like a real marriage, or you get out and we can co-parent, but I will give this baby the best household I can…”, and he interrupted you by kissing you gently.

He hugged you tightly against him, kissing you gently, with love, with passion 

When you separated, he was looking into your eyes with a devotion you had never seen before

“I’m all in baby”, he whispered against your lips, “you are giving me everything I ever wanted, I haven’t touched nobody else since we got hitched, and I promise I never will”, he sentenced, “I will kick that woman out, hell, I will kick every woman in the entire building if that is what you want”, he promised, you only nodded, “I did find it entertaining her throwing herself at me, and I did saw it as a game, but you are right”, he said, serious this time, no more games. 

“The games are over”, he said, clearly and plainly, “this is serious, this time, we have eight months until our little one is with us, and we need to work on this, to make it work”, you smiled brightly

“Really?”, you asked

“Anything you want”, he compromised, “I’m all in baby”

“All in”, you whispered as a prayer 

What can i say? I have watched the gray man repeatedly this past week and I got my groove back! I have no other excuses, I'm sorry I know how much you all loved this bitersweet story... anyways, more will follow!

Taglist! @phildunphyisadilf @lifeissomethingelse @black-repunzel99 @momobaby227 @siriusjohnpotter @l0st-in-reality @taytayvb1020 @chris-butt @aubageddon91 @thegirlnextdoorssister @patzammit @mooievis @cecegreen @samkysnks @nostxlgia18 @infatuatedjanes @adela577 @omegaevans @mooievis @fallinallinmendes @jlc16074 @burntasian @

[whereisten]

Valentine Boy

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 (Final)

Special Cover Art by @nakayutasama &lt;3

Summary:

You've been dating College Student! Jaehyun for a few months now. He's unbelievably sweet, smart, oh..and very handsome. Best of all, he gives you the best love you've ever had. He's the love of your life and you can't see anything going wrong as your relationship sails smoothly.that is….until you discover his biggest secret. He's been hiding the fact that he's a camboy and you start to wonder..ls Jaehyun as sweet and honest as you think he is?

Pairing: female reader X college student and camboy!Jaehyun

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

Chapter Word Count: 13.5K

Warnings: cursing, cheating, cam boy (video-recorded sex with online audience), brief sexual assault mention (nothing detailed), deception, manipulation, blackmail, alcohol use, minor character death, descriptive smut (fingering, dirty talk, BDSM themes (toy usage, spanking), oral sex (m receiving), threesome, some masturbation, rough sex, vaginal penetration, anal sex, breast fondling).

(A/N): HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!💗💗 Jfc I cannot believe this took 3 years 😵‍💫 please PLEASEEEE forgive me for completely abandoning this as well as other fics, things happen and I couldn’t find any motivation to write for a while. It’s slowly starting to come back, so you’ll notice my writing style is rusty, please be patient with me❤️Anyway, I’ve introduced a new character *hint hint* his name starts with T hehe! Thank you guys so much for reading this series!! I really want to know if you love Cam Boy! Jaehyun or can’t stand him after this finale. So please comment or send an ask! I hope you enjoy! low key, I’m relieved but I’m also kinda sad, anytime I finish a series it’s really like closing a book and leaving the characters behind, it’s weird.. nonetheless!! ENJOY!

Tag List (if you’re still here, I’d be VERY impressed😭): @teddybella @nakayutasama @nainjun @moonflower-98 @cherrym4rk @hwangjinkkami @jeongyoonohs @starlightdustspots @80sjaeden-blog @poisonedsultana @breadjaehyunie @lilaewe @hash-brownsss @lazydepkkst @greatbakerypaperoperator @mymy127 @tiramisubox @cactus-rocks @justineasian @nakamotonikkoru @joyfulghosteagletree @nainjun @bluehippoo @suhtements @lonely-moon-in-the-sky @ratchet-sebooty @mrshatakekakashi-blog @painted-hills @haylo4ever @celestiababie @ubbesson @tinybangtanstan @oddeyecirca @hongtyong @johnnysmybabydaddy @yesitsmeavi @polarlight-b @chanyeolscoon @ncteaxhoe @suhweo @jiyoungiejae @suhfluffy @the-universe-in-you-jjh @yutyongie @isolemnlyswearimgood @staywritten @hnvbin @jhhooppppeeee @yunohflwr @gotoartistprofile @shiningstarsarah @glitterfall @minsik-k @yoooori @26zcl @ahtisa02 @wonw00t

-----------

[2:30 PM]

“Miss y/n, I understand that you believe you’re innocent in this situation, but the fact of the matter is that these scandalous photos WERE taken with your permission. You voluntarily posed for these photos”

The Dean flips the posters over on his desk so that he doesn’t have to look at them anymore. You appreciated it, but really, you wished she’d be more sympathetic.

“Y-yes, but not with the belief that they’d ever leave my boyfriend's computer..I’m sorry, I don’t know who is trying to blackmail me, but I’d really appreciate it if campus police could do an investigation. I think my boyfriend was hacked.”

You say quietly, unsure of whether or not you even believed that.

“Of course, miss Y/n, this will be done and the perpetrator may be convicted of sexual assault, should there be enough evidence and should you wish to press charges, but right now, our main concern is maintaining our campus peace and the respectful treatment of others that we pride ourselves in having.”

You nod.

“That being said…” she sighs.

“Myself, as well as your professors, have decided to forbid you from entering the campus.”

Your mouth falls open as your eyes widen. “Wha-“

“It’ll only be for the remainder of the semester. You can join us again in the Fall, but in the meantime, you must finish your classes online at home.”

Your eyes start to fill with tears.

“But it isn’t my fault, I-I don’t understand.”

“Things have to calm down right now, you’ll also be at risk for even more harassment if you stay.” She stands and fixes her blazer, signaling that the conversation was over.

You nod and stand up. She was right. You were in a vulnerable state right now. People that hadn’t known you before now knew what your body looked like without your consent. They’d have perceptions about you, they’d look at you scornfully or maybe even make advances. 

“Thank you for your time.” You hold your head down and leave the office.

————

Back in your apartment, Bella and Jackson talk about how they ran Jaehyun away. He came to look for you, but they told him they’d have him arrested for trespassing.

“He and the fucking bitch Reina deserve to suffer! I swear to God I will ruin them!” Bella stomps through the apartment.

You hold your face in your hands and sob while thinking about what your life has turned into. You couldn’t show your face on campus now and it’s all because you decided to trust Jaehyun.

“I know what I’ll do, I’ll hack into their account and fucking delete it, how dare they make money after this!”

Bella continues. “They’ll have to start all over.”

“Bella..please..that won’t do anything right now.” You cry even harder. You knew she cared for you and hated seeing you like this, but her getting revenge really didn’t make you happier.

Bella stops in her tracks, rushing to sit beside you and hold your back.

“I’m..sorry, I’m so wounded up, I didn’t even remember that your health is a priority right now. You don’t deserve this and you didn’t do anything wrong, people are just assholes. Have you eaten?”

You shake your head.

“I’ll grab something for you, okay? Stay right here, I’ll be right back!”

While waiting, you hesitantly unlock your phone to check your notifications.

You had nearly 100 missed calls and texts from Jaehyun. You ignore them and block him. You aren’t sure what to think at this point, and it’s not like Jaehyun hasn’t deceived you before. You refuse to be taken for a fool any longer.

You open up the college social media app, CamPak, an app that allows only students on campus to connect with each other anonymously. It’s like Twitter, but for college students whose IP addresses fit the location of the college. You know you probably shouldn’t, but curiosity eats away at you in the silence of your apartment now.

You sigh and scroll through the posts.

Did anyone see those posters this morning? Is this a new nsfw club kkkkk sign me up

She’s hot!! Put the flyers back up

Poor girl must be so embarrassed

Why? She’s the one that posted them obvi, she wants attention

Nah that’s revenge porn

I’d show her a good time

Whoever posted these is a HOE

We don’t need to see this..let it stay on OnlyCams girl

The posts could’ve been worse, you think to yourself and put your phone down. You still feel embarrassed and know you need to be away from it all.

———

[Two Days Later]

“Hey, mom” you drop your duffel bag to the floor and pull your mom into the biggest hug.

“Oh! You’re home early, I thought you had about another month or so?”

You sob quietly, but not because you’re sad, but because it felt good to have someone hold you so lovingly. You’re relieved to be away from it all, and although it sucks having to switch to online classes so late, you prefer working from your home with only your mom around you.

“Yeah..well, I decided to leave early and finish up my classes from home.”

She pulls away to look at you, a frown coming across her face when she sees your swollen, red eyes.

“Wait, what’s wrong?”

You hesitate to tell her the truth, how could you explain that you were the one that allowed the photos to be taken in the first place? The last thing you needed was for her to scold you for not protecting yourself.

“Nothing…it’s just been a difficult semester, I’m glad to be home now.” You give her a small smile.

“If something was wrong, you’d tell me, right?” Her eyes plead for an answer.

You nod. “Of course.”

You don’t need to relive your embarrassment by showing her the pictures and explaining everything, it’s all going to be okay now.

———

[Two Weeks Later]

You focus on your studies and get your work done online as expected. Bella tells you that students stopped talking about what happened a few days after you left. Luckily, social media and preparation for exams kept them busy enough to forget about it.

You breathe a sigh of relief when you finally feel like things are going back to normal, slowly, but surely. 

However, you still cry yourself to sleep on some nights. You miss Jaehyun and wonder what you did to deserve this treatment from him. All you did was love him with your entire heart. He took that for granted by risking your privacy and pulling you into a game you had no understanding of.

You never think of texting as this distance is necessary, but you didn’t know that he was keeping in contact with your mother. 

She loves him so much, thinking that he is incredibly charming and thereby, perfect for you. She thinks of him as her son already. So when he shows up to her house one day, she doesn’t hesitate to let him in.

“Honey!” She calls out to you as you wrap up a final paper while sitting at your desk in your room.

“Yes! I’m almost done.”

She still opens the door and peaks her head in.

“Jaehyun’s here. He says he couldn’t get you on your phone, so I told him you’ve been studying h-“

“What?!” You turn to look at her with wide eyes, your fingers begin to tremble over the keys of your laptop.

A week later, you’re finally starting to heal, and here he comes to ruin it all, to remind you of everything that went wrong.

Your mom’s brows furrow. “What’s wrong? Did you guys have a fight?”

“No..no, it’s fine.” You know how much Jaehyun means to her, but now is not the time to explain everything that’s happened. 

“Oh..ok. I’ll tell him to come up then.”

You fix your hair and put on lip balm to look somewhat decent while wearing a hoodie and sweatpants.

It doesn’t matter what you look like, but you don’t want him thinking your life has fallen apart completely.

He knocks and waits for you to answer.

“Y/n..”

You clear your throat. “Come in.” 

He pushes the door, stepping in quietly.

He wears a black hoodie over sweatpants too, but his hair is disheveled. He has a faint mustache and beard under his dark eye bags. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.

“What are you doing here?” You find it hard to look into his tired eyes so you look to the floor.

He closes the door behind him and steps towards you quickly, raising his hand to caress your face.

“Y/n..I’m so sorry, please forgive me..I-“

You step back away from him, bumping into your desk before gripping the edge hard. You feel the blood start to leave your knuckles.

“Get out..I don’t want to see you..” your eyes start to fill with tears as you speak weakly.

“Y/n..baby, it wasn’t me, and I swear to you I will get Reina back for this. She’s ruined you, she’s ruined us.”

“Us?” Your eyes flicker up to him.

“Stop acting like this is as difficult for you as it is for me, you’re not the one whose nudes were plastered all over campus and parts of the internet without consent. If you really cared about me, you would’ve done something already.”

Jaehyun’s hand goes to his side as his face falls. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I was a fool..please let me make this right.”

He leans in again, and you flinch as if scared of him for some reason.

He stares in confusion. You don’t want him to touch you anymore.

“Jaehyun…you can make this right by leaving. Don’t contact me or my mom again..” you start to cry and turn your back to him.

“It wasn’t me, I was hacked, you have to believe me!” He starts to cry as well. “I’d never do this to you.”

But the fact of the matter is he already did. He betrayed you by getting this job with Reina in the first place.

”You’re pathetic for trying to claim innocence right now. You know what’s funny, Jaehyun? I would’ve never known of Reina had it not been for you..”

He swallows hard and steps back.

You turn to face him. “If you hadn’t lied..if you hadn’t been greedy..If you weren’t the coward that you are.”

You’re almost unrecognizable as Jaehyun sees the rage in your eyes.

”Get. out.” You say firmly with tears streaming down steadily.

Whether or not Jaehyun released the pictures and posted them online, he was still the one that took them, he had possession. It would be hard to prove his innocence, not only to you, but to the world as well.

He knows this, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to love you again.

He turns to leave, but stops at the door. “I don’t blame you for being upset with me..but I will always love you, regardless of what happens.”

You exhale before falling onto your bed and wrapping yourself in your blankets. Your heart still aches for him, it hurts to be so cruel.

———

[Later That Day]

A plastered drunk Jaehyun slams the counter at the bar.

“Another shot!”

“Ooo..don’t you think you should slow down a bit?”

Reina sneaks up behind him while rubbing his back.

“Fuck..” he puts his head in his hands. She’s the last person he wants to see.

“You’re always so happy to see me, makes me feel loved.” She says sarcastically while sitting on the stool next to him.

“You’re..such a bitch..” he slurs out.

“But you love it, don’t you?” She pouts and places her fingers on his chin to tilt his face towards her. “If it makes you feel better, I do like the scruffy look.”

He pushes her hand away and stands up, he drunkenly stumbles through the crowd to get away from her, but she wraps an arm around his waist and helps him to the back. She pushes him against a wall and leans in close.

“Come on, Valentine Boy, it’s just you and me now, we can do whatever we want. We can make so much money again, what do you say?”

Jaehyun chuckles. “Reina..even enhancement pills won’t get me hard for you again.”

 He was done with her and completely disgusted after all she’d done to hurt you.

Reina’s fall smiles. “You don’t mean that..”

She tries to kiss him, but even in his drunken state, he’s able to push her way.

“Get off of me!”

She still doesn’t stop. “Look at me, Jaehyun, don’t I remind you of her? Treat me like you would treat her if she comes crawling back. You’d love to make love to her, wouldn’t you?”

She kisses his neck while holding his face in her hand. And for a brief moment, Jaehyun does imagine it’s you kissing him. Then, he has flashbacks of your heartbroken and angry face watching him leave. He’d never forget it, because it had been burned into his heart.

“You’re not her! You’ll never be her!” He brushes her off again, but in a fit of rage at his declination, Reina throws herself to the floor to make it seem as though he pushed her.

A ruckus is caused as men storm over to Jaehyun. “What the hell was that?!” They push him into the wall before he can explain.

“He hurt me!” Reina pretends to cry.

Jaehyun said no to her again, and this was unforgivable. She made her feel pain, so it’s only right that she does the same.

“Is he bothering you?” One of the men asks.

“Yes.” She sobs and stands up slowly.

The men take turns kicking Jaehyun down on the ground, making him spit up blood and groan. They pick him up and throw him outside of the bar and onto the street.

Eyes black and blue, stomach filled with bruises, and arms sore, but Jaehyun was convinced that he still didn’t feel as bad as you did. If this was his way to receive pain for what he did, then he’d gladly take it.

Reina hasn’t given up on him just yet, so she devises a plan. She bends over Jaehyun and chuckles. “You should’ve just said yes, Valentine Boy.”

She takes his phone out of his pocket and looks for your number. When she finds it, she puts it into her phone and heads home, leaving Jaehyun to groan in pain and roll around on the dirty pavement.

She calls you up and to her surprise, you actually answer.

You aren’t sure if it’s a professor trying to reach you about one of your finals so you answer just in case.

“Y/n..it’s me, Reina..I’m so sorry.”

You roll your eyes. “I should choke you for what you did.”

“I know..it seems like I’m the one that did this..” Reina starts to cry and sniffles over the line. “But it’s not true..I want to explain everything, I want to help you.”

And for some reason, you listen to her, you trust her. Jaehyun had proven he’s a liar before, but you wanted to hear Reina’s side of the story. So you listened and decided for yourself what you needed to do.

—————

[Three Days Later]

Your thumb hovers over the [send text] button on your phone. Did you really want this? Were you ready?

You take a deep breath and hit send.

You to Jaehyun: let’s meet

You put your phone face down on your desk right away and look to the floor, but just a few seconds later you hear a notification.

Jaehyun to You: yes, I can pick you up now if you’d like

You to Jaehyun: ok

You finally style your hair and put makeup on. You hadn’t felt like yourself since everything happened. You felt ashamed for some reason and a part of you felt that you didn’t deserve to feel pretty. All that changes tonight, however, you’re going to get your life back.

Within an hour Jaehyun arrives at your mom’s place to pick you up.

His eyes grow large at the sight of you in a flowy dress that compliments your body so well.

He hurriedly opens the passenger door and smiles.

“You look amazing.”

“Thanks..you look..better.” You give a small smile and sit inside his car. He cut his hair and shaved his beard and mustache. His eyes still look tired though. 

You look at the side of his face and observe all the features you missed. The way his slender neck looks in white crew neck shirts and how his sturdy pecs often peaked through if the collar was stretched. His arms looked toned, his veiny hands gripped the wheel hard. It all reminded you of the many nights you spent together with him pinning you down and making the best love to you.

Is this all that you missed him for though? Is it just lust, is it truly love? You question everything as you sit next to the man you once swore you would grow old with.

The air is tense during the drive to his place, neither of you want to be the first to say what’s on your mind.

“Are you…almost finished with your exams?”

Jaehyun breaks the silence.

“Y-yeah..I have one more. You?”

“I’m done, had my last one this morning.”

He nods and focuses on the road.

“That’s good” you look outside the window.

More time passes between you, creating an awkward space that you just have to break.

“I…forgive you, Jaehyun.”

He hits the brake a little too hard, causing the car to jerk you both forward in your seats. He turns to you now that you’re parked right outside his apartment.

“I-I’m so sorry, y/n…thank you, I promise to make it up to you and find those assholes. I was hacked and the techs at the library were able to wipe my hard drive so it never happens again.”

Did he wipe it to hide something or did he really get hacked? You thought to yourself.

You nod, desperately trying to hide your skepticism.

He leans in close, caressing the side of your face like you’re a precious jewel. “I love you..so much, you mean the world to me..and I’m sorry this happened to you.”

You place your hand over his, keeping his stare, but finding it hard to feel the love for him that you once felt in your heart.

“I know…let’s put it behind us..I just..want to spend time with you.” You start to tear up. You wish things to go back to how they used to be, but deep down you know that isn’t possible. He’s broken your trust more than once now, and you’re finding it hard to put the pieces back together.

Jaehyun, however, is ready for a third chance, his heart racing at the thought of you being his again. He’s going to do everything in his power to keep you this time.

“You mean everything to me.” His eyes fill with tears and it breaks your heart. You can’t help but feel sad when you see him like this. Despite all he’s put you through, it still hurt.

“I know..don’t cry, I’m right here..I’ll always be here.” You wipe his tears away before kissing him.

Your lips stay together for a few seconds before you pull away.

“Come on..let’s go inside.” You tilt your head towards his door.

As soon as you get inside, you resume your kiss while peeling your clothes off of each other, but stop when you feel movement around your ankles.

You pull away from Jaehyun’s lips and look down. “Wh-what’s that?”

“Oh!” He chuckles and bends down to pick up the gorgeous white and brown dog with huge ears. “This is Dora, I got her for you..for us, before everything went down..”He says softly as Dora sniffs your face.

You take her from him, your eyes welling with tears in the process.

“She’s..so precious, Jay.”

His eyes follow your soft face and he thinks of how much he missed you and hearing you call him that.

Your heart kept breaking that night, an overwhelming amount of emotions flowed through you. 

Why is he doing this to you? Why is he making you fall in love with him all over again?

You sniffle and place her back down.

“She’s perfect…thank you.”

You take his face in your hands and resume kissing him.

He drags the zipper of your dress down with one hand behind you, then overtakes your tongue with his, gaining a quiet moan from your body. 

The way he did things with such skill always turned you on.

Your dress falls to the floor, bunching up around your feet. You step out of it and bump into his kitchen counter while your lips are still attached.

When you open your eyes to unbutton his jeans you see bruises all along his midsection.

“Jay…what-what happened to you?” You pant.

“Oh..it’s nothing.” He tries to go back to kissing you, but you pull away.

“No..it definitely looks like something to me. No more secrets.” You look into his eyes.

“I-it’s stupid, I don’t want to talk about it right now..”

“Well..I do.”

Jaehyun sighs and looks to the ceiling. “Reina tried to get back with me and I told her no…she got a couple guys to beat me up.”

Your mouth falls. “What? Why would she—“

“Because she’s delusional..now kiss me before I go crazy.”

You smirk and raise an eyebrow. “Why should I kiss a guy that can’t win a fight?”

He sticks his tongue in his cheek and chuckles while stepping back. “Touché”

“I’m just joking, come here..”

“Nah..I’m good.” He walks to his room.

You run after him. “Okay I’m sorry, let’s forget about-“

He turns around and grabs you by the waist, swiftly bringing you onto his bed.

He kisses you harshly, biting your lip. He shows off his multitasking skills once again by taking your bra off for you as you hover over him.

Once off, he lets your lips go and smiles. His dimples and soft crescent-shaped eyes make your heart weak. He holds your arms while nuzzling his face into your neck. You giggle at how ticklish it feels.

He then flips you over onto your back and looks into your eyes.

You feel goofy as you smile up at him.

“I missed you so much, baby” he whispers while searching your eyes.

“I missed you too..”

“Oh yeah?” He raises an eyebrow.

You nod and bring your bottom lip between your teeth.

He leans back on his knees and licks his lips.

“Did you touch yourself when you missed me?”

You nod again.

“Sweetheart, let me hear your pretty voice..” he says lowly.

Your chest rises and falls rapidly as he looks down at you with lustful eyes.

“Yes..I did.”

“Naughty girl, you know your fingers can’t replace me, right?” His eyes fall from your exposed chest to the waistband of your panties.

“I know..but they still feel good.”

“Hmm, show me.” He demands.

You take your panties off and throw them to the side, then begin to finger yourself with Jaehyun watching intently.

He brings his jeans and underwear to the middle of his thigh before cupping a fist around his hard member.

You watch him move it up and down slowly and at the same tempo at which you tease your entrance to build your own arousal.

When you put two fingers in you moan and throw your head back.

“That’s it, baby. Fuck..you’re so wet already”

“Only for you, Jay..” you whimper and close your eyes tightly while thinking about the times when Jaehyun had you reeling from his thrusts.

He nearly cums from hearing your breathy words.

You move your fingers in and out of your silky walls, pushing in deeper and deeper. You find that fleshy spot and massage the tips of your fingers against it, just barely applying pressure.

Jaehyun pumps his cock up and down as well, nearly drooling from the sight of your essence-covered fingers entering you over and over.

“Fuck..I’m gonna fun, baby.” You move your fingers faster, but Jaehyun quickly grabs your wrist, placing your dripping fingers into his mouth to suck them clean.

“So good..you taste so good..”

He kisses your neck while aligning his cock with you. Your hands massage his back as you call out his name. 

“Jay..it’s been so long baby, I need you.”

He teases you for a bit, running the tip just along the slit.

“I know..” he groans into your neck and finally pushes into you all the way. You gasp, your nails dig into his back.

No matter how much you prepped yourself for him, he always felt big. 

He thrusts into you slowly, ensuring that you feel every vein while adjusting to him.

You mewl as your head spins. It feels so good to have him on you after all this time. For a moment, you forget about everything that's happened.

“Ahhh pretty baby, God you’re so tight.”

He kisses your neck and thrusts harder.

“All for me, right? I just have to stuff you well. You can handle it, right?”

You moan. “Yes! Harder, please!”

And Jaehyun listens, pounding you into the bed over and over to hear your scream louder. 

He places both legs over his shoulders, grasping your ankles as he fits himself into your body at a different angle.

Your mouth falls open as you call out his name again.

It doesn’t take long for you to quiver around him, cumming hard while your eyes roll to the back of your head. He moves a few more times then cums too, coating your walls with so much, you’re sure that some will leak out.

“Better than your fingers.” He smirks and falls down onto the bed beside you.

You chuckle and lay on his chest.

“I think I need another shower.”

———

[One Week Later]

For Jaehyun, everything went back to normal. You love him and he loves you, you both take care of your darling Dora together. You go on dates and talk about life  as you always do. You make love and spend time cuddling together whenever you’re at his place.

For you, however, it feels different. Jaehyun was the love of your life, but he kept hurting you and you felt the scars on your heart hesitating to heal. You try your best to smile and act as if you don’t suspect him. Your brain tells you everything is okay, but your heart is saying something else.

In the end, would this hurt you or him more?

“Hey. What do you think of this one?” Jaehyun breaks you out of your thoughts as you stare across the vast land of the vineyard.

You’re on a vineyard tour together and get the pleasure of trying different wines.

He hands you a small cup to take a drink out of.

You drink it and close your eyes for dramatic effect. “Oooo..” you exhale. “Nice.”

Jaehyun smiles widely. “I like that one too. Come on, let's grab a bottle.”

“Whoa whoa there, we just started the tour..” you laugh. “What if there are others we like?”

He steps closer to you, gazing down into your wide eyes. “I’ll buy every single one you like.”

You look away and scoff. “You’re so cheesy.”

He chuckles before taking your hand in his and kissing it.  “Only for you.”

The day goes by and you finally get to Jaehyun’s place.

You make out by his front door as you say goodbye.

“You sure you don’t wanna stay over?” He says in between kisses. He rubs his hand along your back.

“I’d love to..trust me, but I have something to take care of.”

You smile back.

“Oh..ok, do you need me to drive you?”

“No, I got it!” You say quickly while stepping back.

“Oh. Well, I’ll see you later then.” He smile before waving you off. “Call me when you get home, okay?”

“Okay!” You yell over your shoulder then walk swiftly out of his sight.

Jaehyun felt something was off about the way you said bye just now, but he shrugs his shoulders and heads inside to Dora.

“Just me and you now, girl.” He bends down and kisses the top of her head.

Meanwhile, once far away, you look back to make sure Jaehyun’s door is shut and he is inside. You then call an Uber.

The Uber drops you off at a place you never thought you’d be at again.

Reina’s apartment.

——————

[One Week Later]

You and Jaehyun have dinner and a Netflix movie date. The food was fantastic and you truly enjoyed your time with Jaehyun. It was romantic and reminded you of the old days.

 Something about him at night with his sharp facial features illuminated by candle lights made him irresistible.

Your dress suddenly felt tighter as he gazed into your eyes while holding your hand.

“Should we go now?” He asks smoothly as if hearing your thoughts about how badly you wished he’d rail you across the table right then and there.

“Sure.”

While on your way to his place, you receive a text.

You’re coming over tonight, right?

A big bidder messaged me saying he’ll be there

Remember you get half

You quickly closed your phone screen and looked out the window.

“Everything okay?”

Jaehyun squeezes your thigh gently.

You turn to him. “Yeah..yeah definitely. It’s just…”

His brows raise. “Just what?”

You frown. “I have to take care of something again tonight.”

“Oh! Are you sure? Is it something I can help you with?” His hand grips the wheel as he speaks huskily. He was slowly starting to get  tired of you leaving him alone at nights. Something felt off again and he wasn’t sure why.

You sigh. “Unfortunately, no, I have to go in about 30 minutes.”

“Oh…damn.” He exhales.

You sit in silence for about two minutes as he drives home, then he pulls over on the side of the road.

“Something wrong with the car? What are you doing?” Are you nervous about him suddenly stopping? Does he know?

Jaehyun puts the car in park then turns to you. “You said 30 minutes, right?”

You nod as you stare at him with wide eyes.

“Okay..we have time..I’ve been thinking about you in that dress all night.”

He runs a hand through his hair then licks his lips.

He leans in for a kiss and you kiss him back fervently, he kisses you like he’ll never get a chance to again, tugging your bottom lip before licking over it. He turns his head to get more and you give him just what he is asking. His hands hold the sides of your face still as you fall into him more and more, but then, you remember the texts and pull away after a few seconds.

“God..you’re so good…but I really can’t..” you say breathily.

Jaehyun’s brows bunch together. “W-why?”

You look at his lips. “I really want to…I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“But baby, we have like 25 minutes at least let me taste you..”

You shake your head. “I’m sorry, I’m just not in the mood tonight.”

You lied to him, but it was the only way to get him to start driving again.

You hadn’t had sex in 2 weeks, you wanted to, but it didn’t feel right.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”

You shake your head again while looking to the floor. You couldn’t look him in the eyes as your heart beat out of your chest.

“No..no, it’s not you, it’s me..I just need you to be patient with me, okay?”

“Oh, of course! I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun nods and puts the car back in drive, feeling like a huge jerk for making your discomfort about him.

As you’d done a week prior, you wait for Jaehyun to get inside then call an Uber.

You head inside Reina’s apartment and get ready for your second love video with her and Taeyong, her new male counterpart.

“Are you going to be able to do it this time?” She asks as you place your bag down on the couch. You look onto the intimidating setup with lights and a tripod before swallowing hard.

“She doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to..although it would be nice, I’m sure she tastes amazing.” Taeyong leaves the kitchen and heads towards you.

“I’m ready.” You look into his eyes. You couldn’t put up with this game of playing with Jaehyun’s heart for much longer. You were slowly starting to fall in love with him all over again, only hurting yourself in the process.  You knew how this would work out.

If it hurt you to do this to him, why didn’t it hurt him when he had done the same for months? Did he truly care about you?

“Great.” Reina smiles before handing you a baby pink lingerie set complete with a leather collar to put on. 

You freshen up in the bathroom and put the lingerie on. You look amazing, but you wished you felt the same way. It’s hard to be cruel, especially to someone you once loved.

You step out and hear ooo’s and aaa’s by both Reina and Taeyong.

“Thank you..” you smile slightly.

Having your pictures being shared all over,  being labeled as a slut awakened something inside of you. Was it so bad to have people list after your body? Well, not really. But you should at least get paid for it, right? At this point, you didn’t have anything to lose, but you’d get the opportunity to enact revenge on Jaehyun. That was your true goal.

“Now..let’s have some fun.” 

Reina places the final touches on your lipstick and looks into your eyes. “You look beautiful, y/n. I know it’s your first time, and I know you’re nervous, but it will be okay, just follow my lead.”

You lay down on the bed and stare at the camera as she turns it on.

Comments flood the screen of the laptop behind it almost immediately. So many people were waiting for her, and in your novice mind, you still couldn’t compute just how big this online community is.

How could Jaehyun hide this from you for so long?

Taeyong wore pink shorts to match your set and a collar as well. He crawled onto the bed beside you before getting on his knees and leaning down.

“Baby girl..look at me..” the tattooed boy says smoothly. He uses two fingers to tilt your chin towards him. He smiles softly before placing his thumb on it and kissing your lips.

You had met him once before this to take your tests at the clinic together. Everything came back negative for all 3 of you, relieving you of any concerns regarding that. Nonetheless, he seemed to be a sweet guy and his looks were just as striking as Jaehyun’s. 

His sharp jawline provided a wildly stark contrast to his large brown eyes. Reina described him as the perfect partner, and even thanked Jaehyun for leaving her as Taeyong was more “flexible,” and not just in terms of working hours.

He’d take any position she asked him to.

But when preparing for tonight, you asked that they both be in charge. You’d be the one to listen and follow their instructions.

Taeyong maneuvered his lips in a way that made you dizzy. Jaehyun was a great kisser, but Taeyong wrote the guidebook. His tongue overtaking yours as his bottom lip caressed yours. You moaned quietly, raising a hand to grasp his arm and pull him closer. He smelled and felt amazing as he bent over your body.

For a moment, you forgot about everything, you didn’t think about Jaehyun or even remember the blinking red light of the camera. All you felt was Taeyong, but then Reina places her phone down and gets onto the bed beside you. She kisses your neck, leaving her rouge and warmness all over it.

She kisses along your shoulder, sucking hard and biting into the skin slightly. You whimper at the sudden harshness of her teeth against you.

She then kissed lower and lower until getting to your bra. She pulls the cup covering your hard nipples down and begins to suck the nub. Taeyong releases your lips and kneels back away from you.

“Mhmm..just as sweet as I imagined.”

He smirks while rubbing his thumb along your lips, dipping it in and out slowly as you hollow your cheeks and suck.

They way he looks down at you with swollen red lips and they way Reina flicks her tongue against your sensitive breast makes your toes curl.

You watch him palms his hard member through his boxers, noting how a wet mark appears where his precum has already leaked. Turns out he’s just as turned on as you are.

“Do you want it?” Reina pulls away to ask.

You nod, completely unashamed of how desperate you seemed.

She chuckles. “You have to work for it first.”

Meanwhile, Jaehyun gets a text on his phone after getting home from his walk with Dora. His eyes widened.

He immediately tries to call you, but you don’t answer. He doesn’t stop, dialing you over and over hopes that you pick up. Little does he know that all parts of you are currently occupied by Reina and Taeyong.

Your phone lights up on the kitchen counter from his notifications while you take Taeyong’s cock into your mouth.

Your fingers find Reina’s dripping flower as she continues to suck your nipples.

Taeyong grabs the leash attached to your collar and tugs it slightly to choke you.

“Such a good girl..taking me all in like that.”

You involuntarily moan, sending vibrations onto him. He groans and curses as he moves his hips to drive himself deeper and deeper into your throat.

Reina dips her fingers into your thong and begins flicking the tips against your clit.

You begin to choke as you have trouble breathing while Taeyong destroys your throat. The feeling is raw, but you’re so wet by being like this for them, you don’t mind it.

You feel dizzy and drool drips down your chin.

Taeyong is turned on by the sight below him, his movement stutters as he pulls out and pants. You look up with wide eyes while breathing heavily. Something about him was hypnotizing. You lay your tongue out as he unloads onto it, feeling yourself clench around nothing as you cum as well.

Jaehyun stares at his screen after hearing your voicemail come up for the 10th time. It was vital that he get through to you now. What could’ve been so important that you wouldn’t answer him?

He then sees a notification pop up at the top of it.

“watch Rein on Me Live right now! First 2 minutes FREE” 

“Rein on Me” is Reina’s username.

His breath hitches in his throat. Why does he still have her notifications set to “on”?” He thinks to himself and turns the screen off. 

He sits down on the couch and puts his elbows on his knees while thinking about where you could possibly be right now.

And then, curiosity gets the best of him. He picks the phone up, clicking the link while holding his breath.

Why is his heart racing? Is he curious to see if she’s gotten another partner for her videos? He’s not sure why, but what he sees shocks him, breaking his heart instantly.

You are on your knees with your ass up, having your collar pulled by Reina who is below you.

Taeyong pushes into you while you choke on Reina’s strapped on cock.

Taeyong grabs your ass, slamming into you so hard, feeling tears escape the corner of your eyes. 

“Oh look..she’s crying, Tae. I think you should give her something to cry harder about.”

You put a hand up behind you and onto his abs, pushing him away slightly, begging him to be softer on you.

But he chuckles then slams into you again while placing two fingers into your clit and rubbing circles onto it.

“Oh? Is this too much for you?”

They did give you a safe word for when it all came to be too much, but you wouldn’t dare say it now. Although you were being stuffed on both ends and had trouble breathing as a result, Taeyong felt amazing in between your velvet walls and his loud groans and whimpers told you he felt the same.

You shake your head.

“Good, because you’re gripping my cock like you love this. Isn’t that right? Our girl is a slut, Reina, look at her drooling again.”

The chat room is filled with praises and donations. The viewers loved seeing you like this and hearing the dirty talk between the two. Some wanted to be you, and some wanted to fuck you.

Jaehyun’s eyes grow, his focus shifts from the video and to the comments requesting even lewder acts from the 3 of you. How could this happen? How could you betray him like this? Either way, he has to stop this now.

He puts his phone in his pocket and heads out.

He drives angrily, finding it hard to see the road through his teary eyes. He was so angry he could feel the heat escaping his nostrils as he gripped the steering wheel hard.

Meanwhile, it was Reina’s turn to fuck you with her strap.

She lays on the bed on her back, facing the camera upside down. She rubs her soft hands along your thighs as you mount her.

“Ride me well, or we’ll spank you until you can’t sit on your ass for weeks.”

“Yes..” you lower your aching pussy onto the dual ended strap and begin moving.

Reina whimpers as her side of the dildo enters her with each time you go down.

“That’s it, baby, don’t stop.” Taeyong says breathily in your ear while unhooking your bra. 

“Fuck.” He kneels behind you, bringing your hand to cup his hard cock.

He kisses your neck as he pinches your nipples to hear you cry out his name.

Reina rubs your clit with her thumb making you gasp and swivel your hips faster to gain another high. Taeyong then tilts your head towards him and kisses you deeply. He grips your throat, squeezing slightly as his tongue explores your mouth.

He begins to leak all over your hand, but you don’t stop pumping him. You close your eyes and ride Reina even faster, enjoying Taeyong’s passionate kiss as you imagine it to be him you were on top of.

He pulls away, allowing a string of spit to connect your two mouths.

He licks it up then looks into your eyes with a lustful stare. “She’s close, be a good girl and make her cum.”

You nod then lower yourself onto Reina, pulling her bra down to reveal her incredibly perfect breasts. You lick and suck her nipples while fingering her clit.

Taeyong licks his lips at the sight of your dripping opening gliding up and down on the dildo with ease. He pumps his cock and aligns it with your ass while your focus remains on coaxing a well deserved orgasm out of Reina.

He enters you unexpectedly, forcing just half of himself into you before you let out a high pitched scream.

“Oh my god!” You grip the sheets on either side of Reina’s head while your legs tremble at the feeling of being stretched out.

“Ahh kitten, so tight..fuck.” He grabs your waist, digging his fingertips into it to leave what may be a permanent indentation.

He pushes himself all the way in, making you cry again.

You rub your own fingers into Reina faster, making her cum hard. Her eyes roll to the back of your head as she pulls on your leash.

“You’re so pretty like this, isn’t she Tae?”

Reina moans out. “Yes..the prettiest kitten.” He struggles to get out while watching himself enter your tight opening once more.

Reina moves from under you, pulling the strap out of both her and you.

She takes the end that was inside you and puts it in front of your face. “Open, and taste yourself.” She demands.

You open your mouth, sucking it off while looking into her eyes.

You whimper as Taeyong goes so deep inside you, you feel you might go crazy and truly won’t be able to walk for another week. It’s a miracle how he's able to be so big.

“Come on, baby, tell me how good it feels to have me fill you up like this.”

“Feels..so good..” you can’t hold your body up anymore, you fall into the bed as he pounds into you.

More and more payments flood the notification on the laptop screen. Taeyong pushes into you faster while grabbing your leash, and you’re both about to cum again when you hear the front door fly open.

Your eyes open in confusion as you look up at Reina.

She looks confused too. She quickly pauses the broadcast and right after the bedroom door flies open.

“Get the fuck off of her!” Jaehyun stomps towards Taeyong, laying a fist into his face so fast, all 3 of you fail to comprehend exactly what’s happened.

Taeyong falls into the bed as Reina rushes over.

“Jaehyun!” You yell, jumping off of the bed and grabbing the sheets to cover your body.

There goes your dazed feeling.

“What the FUCK is going on here? Reina, what the hell did you do? How could you get her involved in something like this?!” Jaehyun is so angry, his hands create fists at his sides as he glares at Reina. She doesn’t pay attention to him, however, trying to see just how bad his punch was towards Taeyong.

You calm your nerves and finally tell Jaehyun the truth.

“It was my idea, Jaehyun..I want to do this…to get back at you.” 

He turns to you with a confused look in his eyes. You don’t turn away from his stare this time, you look into his eyes and remain strong. You thought of all the nights you cried yourself to sleep, of all the times you felt like you weren’t good enough for him.

You thought of his betrayal and the acts it left you.

“W-what?”

You scoff. “Don’t give me that, Jaehyun. I know it was you..I know that it was you who sold the pictures of me and put them up on campus.” You walk closer and closer to him while speaking harshly. 

“I know you wanted to embarrass me and make me desperate for you..so I tricked you..like you tricked me this entire time, I made you fall in love, just so I could break your heart.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen as they fill with tears. His mouth falls open. “You…you really think I could do that to you?”

You nod. “After everything you did to me, you still try to pretend to love me.”

Jaehyun gasps. “Pretend?” He shakes his head. “I have always loved you. There’s not a moment in my goddamn life that I don’t think about you.”

You finally break your gaze, finding it hard to keep your eyes focused on him as he cries endlessly.

“Look..I may have done something shitty and I deeply regret it, but I could never embarrass or dehumanize you like that.” He sniffles. “I’d never put you in danger.”

“Stop lying Jaehyun! We know you were trying to get back at both of us, I tried to stop you!” Reina yells while holding Taeyong, who is still knocked out.

“Fuck you! You’re the reason all of this is happening.”

He takes his phone out and shows you a text he received from his friend. The text he had been calling you about all night.

“Look.. it’s a photo taken from a security camera on campus. I asked my buddy, who volunteers at the police station, to do some digging for me two weeks ago because I wanted to find out who’d done this to you.”

You look at the picture, a breath leaving you once you see who is stapling a print out of your scandalous photo onto a tree.

You turn to her, tears falling onto your cheeks.

“You fucking bitch.”

Reina loses a semblance of her coolness and clears her throat.

“Why? Why did you do this to me?” You sob.

“Because she wants me! She’s so desperate to have me to herself, she’d do something as cruel as this!”

You hold your face in your hands.

“Jaehyun..I’m so sorry..” you reach out to hold him, but he pulls away.

“I’m not surprised by her, but I’m disappointed in you. You’ve hurt me..so badly.” He walks out as you run after him, still clutching the sheet to your body.

“Jaehyun, please!! She showed me the video you made a week before you came to my moms house! She said you were back to making videos together!” You tell him, but Jaehyun shakes his head and turns to you in shock.

“I’d been taking exams the entire time, y/n. There’s no way I’d do that! She just uploads old videos of us to get more money!”

You look back at Reina as she leaves the room too. “Oh..my God.” You crouch down to the floor. How could you be so easy…again?

Reina chuckles and crosses her arms before leaning against the door frame. She nods. “Well..this isn’t exactly how I’d expect things to go down, but I should’ve known you’d still be subscribed to me as part of the notification crew..” she whistles before continuing.

“Yes..I lied, yes..I hacked his iCloud and printed those sexy pics of you, y/n. But it’s only because I wanted to teach him a lesson. He can’t leave me..I made him.” She laughs again. “And to leave me for you? Oh that pissed me off even more. He makes you seem like you’re an angel on Earth. No..he doesn’t deserve you, he deserves someone like me.“ She walks towards him and attempts to touch his chest but he steps back and looks down on her in disgust.

“Valentine Boy deserves someone as lustful, self-centered, and greedy as himself..”

“You’re cruel. And what you did was a crime. I hope it was worth it.”

He speaks sharply.

You cry and remember the call you had just a few weeks ago with her.

[REINA’s CALL]

“I understand why you’re upset..I’d be too, but you have to understand that this is just Jaehyun’s way of getting back at you.. he was upset that you made him stop. He was desperate for cash so he sold your pics y/n.”

You gasp while listening to her over the phone. Should you have listened to her? Maybe not, but could you really trust Jaehyun after everything? After all, he did take the photos.

“I begged him not to..I told him this would ruin you, but he did it anyway..he made some cash, but he didn’t expect whoever these jerks were to print them out and put them all over campus as a joke.”

You scoff. A joke? That’s all this was for them, a joke.

Reina continues. “He got drunk the other night and came to see me. He said that he didn’t expect all this to happen, but that it worked out in his favor anyway. You’d eventually realize that no one else would love you because you've been exposed and praised as a pornstar slut all over campus. You’d be reliant on him forever..or so he hopes. But I won't let that happen, y/n. I want to help you get your revenge.”

“Why should I believe you?”

Reina exhales. “Listen, I have nothing to lose by telling you the truth. As a matter of fact, I have something to gain. If he gets back with you, he’ll stop doing videos with me, and I’ll stop making money. So I’ll need you to break his heart, therefore he’ll come running back to me. Capeesh? Everyone is happy. And I’d you don’t believe me, take a look at the link I just texted you..”

You look at your phone and click the link. It’s a video of Jaehyun and Reina on OnlyCams with the broadcast date showing “One Week Ago.”

Your brows bunch as you grind your teeth. This bastard was already back to this without you being in his life.

He was misleading you again.

“See? You’ve only been separated for a few weeks and he’s already back to making videos and money with me..”

You can almost hear her smile over the phone as you sit there with steam escaping your ears.

“What is it you want from me?” You let out through clenched teeth.

“Ask to be his girlfriend again, then start making videos with me..break his heart this time so that he gives up on you..get your revenge and make money at the same time. You’re pretty enough and by now I’m sure you’re used to everyone looking at your body. So…join us.”

[PRESENT DAY]

“Jaehyun..wait..please, I was stupid, I’m sorry I hurt you!”

You stand up from the floor and hurriedly change into your T-shirt and sweatpants that you brought. You run after Jaehyun as he heads out of the door.

However, Reina pushes you to the side to run after him first. She hurries down the stairs.

“Jaehyun!! Don’t go..I love you more than she does, can’t you see? I went through all this trouble for you! I never doubted you, I never hurt you, I only loved you and shared what I had!”

She wraps her arms around his waist from the back, keeping him still as she sobs.

“You’re everything to me, I need you, baby.”

Your mouth falls open as you watch from the top of the stairs.

This was Reina’s plan all along and you fell for it, like an idiot. You allowed yourself to be played.

You rush down and run away, through the trees, hoping that no one will find you. You’re beyond embarrassed and devastated at how everything has turned out.

Jaehyun pries Reina off of him, grabbing her arms off and pushing her away. She calls onto the ground and reaches up for him, but he only grimaces and steps back again.

“Leave me alone!! You’re fucking crazy! If I see you again, I swear I will call the cops!”

In a final desperate attempt, she grabs his ankle. “If you leave me, I will send everything to your dad!”

Jaehyun’s mouth falls open.

“You wouldn’t dare..” he says with venom on his tongue, he truly couldn’t believe she’d do this to him.

“I don’t love you, I never have and I never will.” He pulls his foot away and continues to his car to drive after you.

He looks all over but doesn’t see a trace in the night sky.

He then takes his phone out of his pocket and goes to dial you, but Reina grabs it out of his hand and throws it to the ground in a fit of rage, breaking it instantly.

“You fucking bitch!” He places both hands around her neck and begins to choke her.

She smiles. “Yes, Valentine Boy, come inside and punish me.”

He grows even angrier, letting go and jumping into his car.

“No no no..don’t go!” She slams the trunk of it as he drives off.

“Fuck…” he drives everywhere, looking through the woods to see if he can catch a glimpse of you running through them. 

You find somewhere to rest and crouch down while crying. Your hands shake. How could everything go to shit so quickly?

You take your phone and call Bella.

“Hey..I’m coming over.” You sob.

When you get to your shared apartment, Bella welcomes you with a big hug. “I missed you so much.” She tears up.

You sit down and explain everything to her as she consoles you. Jackson is there as well, making ramen noodles in the kitchen for you.

“Y/n..it’s not your fault, I probably would’ve done the same thing.” He says as he walks in with a bowl.

You take it from him as you sniffle.

“She’s a bitch, she manipulated you. God I can't wait until she gets arrested!”

Bella clenches her fists.

“How..will Jaehyun forgive me? He’ll never look at me again.” You cry harder again.

“No no don’t say that, you’ve forgiven him more than once, he’ll probably forgive you too. Just talk to him…give him some time to calm down, then call him.” Bella rubs your back as you listen. She was right, if Jaehyun truly loved you, maybe he would see it from your point of view and forgive you.

You nod. “Okay.”

And after finishing your noodles and taking a shower, you fall asleep.

———

[The Next Day]

You rub your swollen, red eyes and pick up your phone instantly.

You have no new notifications Jaehyun, only his missed calls from before everything went down. You swallow hard and dial him back, but it goes straight to voicemail. You then send him a text, but receive a message.

The subscriber you are trying to message is not accepting calls or texts at this time.

You sigh and put your phone down on the bed. As expected, Jaehyun blocked you. He’s deeply hurt and wants nothing to do with you. And so you cry again, clutching your pillow to your chest as the day goes on.

Jaehyun stares out of his window and thinks of you. He misses you so much, and now he can’t call you as his phone was destroyed by Reina.

Now that he’s calmed down and erased the image of you having sex with another man from his mind for a moment, he realizes you  both messed up, you both hurt each other and he wanted to talk with you to see if you still don’t trust him or rather, do you love him at all anymore?

He’s not sure if you’re at your mom’s place or your place near campus with Bella, or if you even made it home safe..but he needs to find you.

He takes a shower, feeds and walks Dora then gets ready to head out in the afternoon, but he is stopped when he hears a knock on his door.

Dora barks before he shushes her and taps her behind lightly.

He braces himself. Could it be Reina? Could it be you? Could it be the guy he knocked out?

He looks through the peephole and sees someone he didn’t expect.

He opens the door and allows the man in.

“How’s my favorite nephew doing?” Jaehyun’s uncle, Charlie, pats his shoulder before stepping towards the couch.

Jaehyun looks at him nervously, but follows behind.

His uncle is a professor at the college. He was instructed by his father to watch over Jaehyun carefully, but in respect for Jaehyun’s growth as an adult, Charlie never overstepped or took his role too seriously.

“Hi..what’s going on?”

He places his bag down and sits beside him.

“Well..you and I…I guess I should say, you are in some deep shit.”

Jaehyun places his hands in a fist in front of him and his eyes lay on the coffee table.

He placed his fingers over his bruised knuckles, swallowing hard as he anticipates what his uncle will say next.

Not many things bothered Jaehyun, but impromptu visits from his family members always made him uneasy. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that girl whose pictures were put all over campus the other day, would you?”

Charlie leans forwards

“Why do you ask?”

Jaehyun clears his throat.

“Oh well…I just thought you might know something..” 

Jaehyun turns to him and speaks softly. “Uncle..why are you really here?”

“Jaehyun..you know..how your father is..”

Upon hearing this, Jaehyun suddenly remembers Reina’s threat. His eyes widened.

“He knows..I know, your mom knows…I mean, personally, I don’t care, it’ll all be erased at some point, but Jaehyun..it’s not looking good for you.”

His uncle continues as he sits back on the couch and exhales.

“Why’d you do it? It’s not like you need the money. Is this like a young couple thing? Is she your..girlfriend?”

“No!…no, not at all..” Jaehyun stands up. He’s furious that Reina really actually exposed him to his father despite knowing their rocky relationship with each other.

“I’m not sure why I did it, Charlie, maybe I needed to feel independent. Maybe I just don’t like asking my hypocritical father for anything..”

Charlie nods, sighing again before fixing his tie. “Well, Jaehyun..whatever your reason is, I get it. You’re your own person.”

Jaehyun stands in silence while clenching his fist.

“Nonetheless, your father is pissed…he wants you back in Korea.”

“What?!” Jaehyun turns around and stares in shock.

“I know..I know..he’s a bit dramatic, but he’s not happy about you becoming a “pornstar.” His words, not mine.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “I’m not going back.”

Charlie stands and holds his hands out in front of him. “Look, I know you love it here and you don’t want to be anywhere near your father, but think of it this way. You can start fresh back home and learn what it’s like to run a business. Eventually, you’ll make your own money again and won’t have to rely on anyone!”

“But that’s exactly what’s gonna happen! I’ll have to rely on him to get the position! It’s not fair!”

“Jaehyun..I know, you’re upset right now, but just go..at least for the summer break. Maybe you need some time away to rethink everything.”

“No..I won’t.” He looks into Charlie’s eyes.

“Tell him I said “no.””

Charlie sighs and looks to the floor. “He won’t pay for your college anymore…you’ll officially be on your own, cut out of the family name completely, is that what you really want?”

Jaehyun remains silent as he contemplates his choices.

“Think about it and let me know soon so I can help, I’ll try to calm him down for now.”

He lays a hand on his shoulder and leaves.

———

[3 Days Later]

You finally leave your bed and decide to treat yourself to some coffee from the cafe on campus. Jaehyun never showed up or called so you stopped expecting him to. However, you still thought about him all the time. You missed him so much, but if space is what he wanted, then you were in no position to deprive him of that.

This was your punishment for hurting him.

You stuff your hands in your hoodie and look up at the menu, knowing very well that you’ll just choose what you always do. An iced grande caramel macchiato.

You smile while taking the drink from the barista and look for a seat.

You find your favorite comfy chair in the corner and place your laptop on the table in front of it.

So far, your day is going pretty well. Favorite drink, favorite seat. What else would go right for you?

You needed to distract yourself from thinking of Jaehyun. You take a few sips while reading a novel Bella recommended to you. 

Gentle Monsters.

It’s about a woman who runs, literally, into a handsome man that operates a glass conservatory. The catch is he happens to be hiding a dark secret.

Your eyes scan through the pages quickly as the drama gets juicy and then..your laptop screen is pushed down.

“Hey! What the h-“

“Hey..”

Your eyes grow when you see who takes a seat across from you.

“T-Taeyong?”

“Mhm” he smiles while sipping a pink drink. He wore sunglasses and as he tilted his head, you could see remnants of the bruise Jaehyun left him.

“What..are you doing here?”

“Oh, I didn’t know dashingly good looking boys couldn’t be college students too.”  He says sarcastically.

“I didn’t know you studied here..so does that mean..you saw my pictures? Did you know about me before we met?”

Your face becomes warm as you lean forward and whisper.

“No..I didn’t..I don’t pay that much attention to what happens on campus to be honest.”

You exhale and relax in your chair.

“And if I had, what would it matter now? I’ve already seen…everything..” he eyes you up and down. His gaze is almost too much to bear and you start to feel like Patrick Starr’s rock home under the sea is the perfect place for you right about now.

“Ugh..” you close your eyes and shake your head. “Please..don’t remind me.”

Taeyong’s mouth falls open. “What? Was it that bad?”

“No..it was..magnificent..you were, I mean, are magnificent..it’s just…”

He chuckles as you stumble over your words.

What could you say? He had an intense aura about him that made you nervous. What made matters worse was the fact that a small part of you wanted to kiss him again.

“Oh..magnificent, I like that.” He says in a growl while running a hand through his luscious brown hair.

For some reason, it felt like you were cheating on Jaehyun again so you looked away quickly. “I’m..sorry about Jaehyun, he shouldn’t have hit you..it’s all my fault.”

He shrugs. “It’s fine..you can just make it up to me later.”

You laugh and look outside the window. “Gosh you’re interesting..”

“And magnificent..” he places his sunglasses on top of his head to wink at you.

“Hey!” A girl stops by your table and squints.

“Aren’t you that girl from the posters?” Her friend beside her snickers.

“Oh..” you look down at the table.

They laugh loudly, and begin to create a scene inside the quiet cafe. “Nice! I guess nothing is left to the imagination anymore! Talk about desperate!”

You swallow hard and tap the table while waiting for them to just walk away. You could’ve gone off on them, but what would that do? They’d only make fun of you as more people look up and start to recognize your face too.

Taeyong grows angry once he sees how upset you look. “What’s so funny? Look, I’d be insecure too when she has a perfect face and body and I look like..” he looks her up and down and grimaces. 

“that..” he fakes a total body shiver.

“Better get going, I think Shrek is looking for his long lost cousin.” He says smoothly while giving an evil glare. He puts a finger on his chin and squints. “Congratulations on being the first ogres to be admitted to this school. Yay! diversity!”

You can’t help but laugh.

“Go away now before I call animal control.” he shoos them away.

Damn, he was lethal. You’d hate to be on his bad side.

The girl’s friend scoffs before saying “fuck you..” and walks away.

“I wouldn’t fuck you with the lights off, bitch.”

Your eyes grow.

“Taeyong!”

“What? They’re rude and ugly.” He rolls his eyes.

You found it hot that he’d defend you like this and simply laugh again.

“Anyway, once I found out about Reina’s plan and what she did to you, I left. I want nothing to do with her.” He sips his drink again.

“Yeah..I’m sorry she used you too..”

“Oh don’t be sorry, on the bright side, I got to meet you.” 

A moment of silence rests between the two of you.

You nod and start to gather your things.

“Well, I should get going!”

“Y/n..” he says as he touches your hand on the table.

“I’d love to spend time with you again..”

You take your hand away and tuck it into your pocket again.

“Oh..I don’t plan on doing anything like that ever again, I’m sorry.”

Taeyong laughs. “No..of course not like that, get your head out of the gutter…I mean, time like this at a cafe or park, or something..you’re nice to talk to.”

“Oh..shit, I don’t know why I was thinking that like of course you meant just regular time like this, it’s just the way you said it, you know like the way you touched my hand, I-“

He laughs before standing up from the table. “You’re a mess, let me walk you out.”

Taeyong held your hand to help you stand up from the soft chair.

You walked outside together, but said your goodbyes as you headed in different directions.

“Y/n..” he calls out to you as you walk away.

“Yeah?”

“Phone.”

You fish your phone out of your pocket quickly and hand it to him. He smiles from ear to ear as he puts his number into your phone.

“Don’t be shy now, remember I’ve already seen everything..” he leans in close to your ear. “And I love it..”

You gasp as you punch his chest lightly.

“I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”

He waves while trotting away.

You stand there dumbfounded and completely smitten by the man, then you suddenly remember Jaehyun and wonder if these new feelings told you you were over him.

Jaehyun wonders the same thing as he watches from across the street.

He was heading to your place with a bouquet of flowers when he saw you and the man he punched leaving the cafe. He decided to park into a spot a few spaces away and watch your interaction.

You looked..happy. This man made your eyes light up, and the sight was much more painful than watching you get fucked by him.

He now knew that emotions were involved. But did he have any right to be upset? If you decided to move on, why shouldn’t he accept that? You’re doing what’s best for you.

He looks at the flowers in his passenger seat.

He was hurt by everything, but he still felt bad for dragging you into all of this in the first place. He was going to apologize and attempt to prove his worthiness as a boyfriend once more, but after seeing you so happy with another man, he isn’t sure if he had any more chances to take.

A few hours later, you receive a call from campus police.

They positively identified Reina as the person that placed the photos everywhere so they ask if you’d like to press charges for harassment while they charge her for vandalism and breaking into private property.

You nod and say “yes.” The process would be long to convict her of this crime against you, for anyone could argue that you voluntarily took the photos. But you’re determined to teach her and anyone else that thinks of posting “revenge porn” a lesson.

———

[One Week Later]

You finally receive a text from Jaehyun.

Jaehyun to You: I just got a new phone..I’m sorry for taking so long, would you like to go somewhere?

You tremble slightly and respond. You were starting to get used to not hearing from him so this shocked you

You to Jaehyun: yes

You needed to apologize again, but more importantly, you needed to know how Jaehyun felt about you after everything. Does he still want to date you? Could you make this work?

Later that day you meet up at the park.

Jaehyun arrives with Dora and sits on a bench.

You immediately sit down as well and start to per her.

“Y/n..” Jaehyun says with his warm honey voice. You always grow weak when he calls your name.

You look up at him, taking in the brokenness in his eyes

“I’m so sorry, Jaehyun..I..I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. After everything I put you through, I honestly deserved that.”

“Jaehyun..I’m so tired..I don’t know what’s going on anymore, everyone on campus thinks I’m a slut and I feel so dumb and pathetic.” You start to tear up.

“No, they don’t. They’ve already forgotten about it, okay? And come fall semester, absolutely no one will remember you as that girl.”

You sniffle and nod. Thank God for summer break.

“I think..I just need time..it’s all too much.” You look up at him and Jaehyun isn’t sure if you need time away from everything or just time away from him.

He scoots closer to you on the bench and takes your hands in his. “Don’t worry about anything, I’m here for you, okay? We can start over. We can be completely honest with each other this time.”

You look to the sky as he continues.

“Please, y/n, please come back to me. I promise to make it all right.”  

If you say yes, I’ll stay, even if that means betraying my father, he thinks to himself.

You still sit quietly and think to yourself.

You loved Jaehyun, but you found yourself second guessing everything, could you truly be like how you once were. Then, there are your wandering eyes and emotions. If you loved him with all your heart, how could you possibly think of another man in that way?

And the question that screamed the loudest was why? Why did Jaehyun click the notification from Reina’s livestream in the first place?

You look back to Jaehyun who anxiously awaits your answer, his eyes glossy with tears.

“Jaehyun…I” you start to cry, you can’t hold back your emotions as you fear that  deep down, you already know the answers to all of these questions.

”Do you still love me?” He asks with tears flowing in a steady stream. Your heart breaks to see his lovely eyes so red.

Your mouth falls open.

Why are you hesitating?

“I- '' want to, is what you wanted to say, but just couldn't.

You can’t answer because you know you still don’t trust him. Furthermore, you aren’t sure if you love him or only lust after him.

But still, why is your heart cracking slowly while you both cry? You can almost hear it inside your chest.

Jaehyun nods and stands up before wiping his tears away. “I won’t bother you anymore, y/n..”

“Jaehyun..don’t.” You stand up and grab his hand before he can walk away.

He pulls away and takes Dora’s leash.

Make it easy, lie and rip the band aid off. 

He clears his throat. “I actually wanted to meet with you..because I’ve been thinking during our time away from each other…I don’t think I love you anymore…”

And there it was, the sound of your heart finally falling to the ground and breaking into a million pieces that were beyond repair.

You weren’t sure if you loved Jaehyun, but to hear him say he doesn’t love you is a pain unlike any other.

“…and I think it’s time to move on.” He turns away from you, knowing that the look on your face would only make him fall to the ground and sob.

But deep down, he knows he lies because it’s easier for him to decide for you. This was the only way you could move on. He had to make you hate him.

“You and I both know we only use each other for sex…this isn’t love, it never was, and it has no chance of ever being that..that’s why I cheated on you and felt no emotion.”

He turns back to you and speaks sternly. “If we were to date again, I’d probably cheat again in hopes of finding the true love I crave and don’t receive from you..”

His words stung like sharp daggers and you’re pretty sure even Caesar had an easier pain than what you feel right now.

For a few minutes, you are completely speechless and debate whether or not you should argue with him. But instead, you nod and walk away. “Okay Jaehyun, goodbye.”

You can't see your way through the park as water floods your eyeballs. You finally stop at a stream and clutch your chest.

The tears never stop, your head starts hurting and you feel yourself on the verge of a panic attack.

You call Bella who hears your gasps and panic over the phone. 

“Take deep breaths! I’ll be right there!”

She rushes from home to get to you while you go dizzy.

Jaehyun has trouble driving home, his teary eyes causing the road to blur. He pulls over and pounds his fist against the steering wheel.

“Fuck!” He yells before holding his face in his hands. He didn’t expect saying goodbye to be so difficult, he didn’t expect to regret it for the rest of his life.

He just broke the heart of his one true love.

———

[A Few Months Later]

“Come on, Dora, let’s get back inside.”

Jaehyun calls after Dora to go back into his mom’s house in Korea.

His mom sits at the table as she goes over the final preparations for his father’s funeral.

The real reason Jaehyun’s father sent for him was because he was ill and only given a few months to live by doctors. He did scold him for creating such scandalous videos, but didn’t spend too much time on it as he had more pressing matters at hand.

Jaehyun deleted all social media and focused on his father’s health as a result. To you, it seemed he had fallen off the face of the Earth.

He trained Jaehyun and taught him some of what he needed to know about the business during his final days alive. Jaehyun was thankful for the opportunity and finally found himself bonding with him after all this time.

“I can teach you all about finances and numbers, Yoon Oh, but I can’t teach you about being passionate about it. At the end of the day, you’ll only regret what you didn’t do for your heart..I guess, that’s why we didn’t see eye to eye before.”

He chuckles before coughing. “It took me getting to this point to realize..All my life, I had no true passion. Nothing worth missing.”

Jaehyun sits at his father’s bedside as he prepares to say goodbye.

He cries while listening to him speak.

“You were always so passionate about art and all this stuff I didn’t understand..I didn’t respect it because I didn’t get it..but what does it matter? It’s about you.. and if it makes your heart happy…if it makes your soul complete, then why should you let it go?”

His father passed away peacefully the next day, leaving Jaehyun with wise words he’d never forget.

A few weeks after the funeral, Jaehyun is tasked with deciding whether or not to stay and gradually take over the business or to go back to college and finish his studies.

Being away from you gave Jaehyun the chance to learn more and think with a clearer mind, hence his decision to go back.

He told his mother he’d be going back only to get his degree, but really, he found his fathers words hard to ignore.

“If it makes your heart happy, if it makes your soul complete..then why should you let it go?”

For Jaehyun, this was about you. He couldn’t fight the urge to love you, he couldn’t just let you go like that.

So he leaves Dora with his mom and heads back.

He knows it will take some time to make up for his shitty actions, but he’d do whatever it takes to love you again, even if that meant watching you from a distance. Just seeing your smile and laugh was enough for him.

He’d complete his studies, but he’d always have you on his mind. 

He keeps in touch with your mom without you knowing, that is, until Christmas dinner that year.

He knocks on her door and waits patiently for her to open it. It would be the first time you’d see each other since he broke up with you. It was going to be difficult, but he had to try. 

What he didn’t account for was the fact that your mind may have already been set on someone else..the strange, handsome fellow named Sicheng that sat across from him now at the dinner table.

The End

Thank you again for going on this journey with me, i hoped you enjoyed it xoxo - Krys

(Hint: check out the agreement to see what happens during the Christmas dinner hehe)

[softcitrus2345]

I've finally started feeling the motivation to draw, so hopefully I can get back to my commission queue soon, and then to replying to all the great asks yall have sent in over the past.... months 😬😅

I'm still kind of in a weird mental place but I've been trying to keep myself busy with other things, plus working retail 5 days a week tends to keep your mind and body pretty occupied so there's that too-

I've seen all the asks and replies you guys have sent me, and I haven't forgotten about the few of you still dming me about commissions, I promise I'll get back to you all, as soon as I can

Thank you to everyone who has continued supporting and sharing my art even during this month when I've been practically radio silent

I'm sad I couldn't celebrate pride month with you all, but hopefully I can eventually make some kinda post for pride, I really have been wanting to ;;w;;

I'm still healing but this blog makes me happy so I'm gonna try to get back into the groove.. yall are the best for sticking around and for all your sweet comments and condolences, it really does mean a lot to me, even if I can't always find the right words to respond with

I'm gonna head to bed for now but I'm relieved I'm feeling motivated to create again, even though I'm still grieving

My wounds are still pretty fresh but I'm trying to give myself grace, grief isn't something you just "get over", especially not this quickly, baby steps, baby steps..

Anyway, this is a kink blog, but I wanted to at least share this, if nothing else. I'll try not to bum yall out too much in the future, no promises though /hj

Take care, everyone, and I wish you all a very happy pride month TTuTT

[vuetyris]

Jade Shadows related thoughts tm

For context; fandom active since 2016, with various hc & fics

I record all my first runs in case I miss anything or need to refamiliarize myself, but in brief I like it for what it is. Would've liked a more direct content warning than just 'motherhood' which can include a VARIETY of things.

But especially as someone critical on DE's tendency with smaller stories (and hoping between mediums of story telling), I went in with no expectations besides it being Stalker related. That whatever happens doesn't conflict with personal hcs, they can split off etc, and did not share an expectation that it'd be lgbt+ rep JUST off the expectation of it being released during pride month. Feels unhealthy to go into it expecting a certain outcome from a big company's story telling, especially on the premise of release timing. Just icing on the cake if it is :)

Historically DE has issue with smaller scale stories; they have high ambitions and not a lot of restrictions where they put their resources. From the Simaris Scans, the Prime logs, the various scanning stories, EVEN NIGHTWAVE, which has only to date had three story sets. There's a lot of crumbs of their ideas that don't work or aren't able to work on in a constant rhythm. So not just tooting my horn that "DE is trying their best with what they got", they fumble constantly, and their limits just happen to only be "what resources (money, time, and people) do we have".

I still remember them wanting to do Railjack and TNW all in ONE PACKAGE, in ONE UPDATE, before the pandemic kicked them in the ass.

Again before tangent of historic context; I liked Jade Shadows for what it was, a brief three mission jaunt around as the Stalker. Whom for all intensive purpose of the story is not shown to be very caring of others, and in context at the point out for the tenno for the slaughter. Jade gives context for why Stalker is like that TM; Stalker is selfish, self-serving, unwilling to ask for help, and the only person that spoke up was the Old War Relic that fed his daughter to the Orokin and did nothing to stop his son from succumbing to the same fate by the same man.

Hunhow and Stalker both have issues and it kinda feeds off one another, and Jade didn't deserve the double-wammy. Its a dark story brought of the world ruined by the Orokin and their colonizing empire that ripped up ever resource they could before setting the Sentients out whom they built to be rued of their reproduction if they traveled back through the void. Body autonomy and societal abuses has been a constant theme throughout warframe, and that means sometimes its uncomfortable! That's good! Fiction is a tool to analyze the uncomfortable spaces in a safe manner, and allow the viewer to step away if they need to.

Was it done well? No, it has room for improvement, it could've involved Jade more as an active role instead of just relegated to Stalker's manpain, but its done better than other media who sole purpose from the get-go is some dude's mainpain. Relegated to the end was that Jade and Sorren were both seemingly glad for it, but there was a hesitancy alike to Dagath's situation. It wasn't socially -allowed-, and may or may not be in relation to why they were both transformed to warframes. And may be what was referred to before of Stalker being a 'low guardian'. We may not, or may never, know his mental state at the time, but the weight of the Orokin empire still hung over him as the system changed.

I wish there was more of Jade than just having her laying there as a story piece honestly :( More of her relation to Sorren, why she still stayed with him, more than just as a vessel for the story, you know, give more oofm to the ending of her becoming one of the jade light and a techno-organic baby left in her wake. Her relation to Stalker after the war where she had to save his ass from a default Excalibur. But we didn't and I'm sad. :(

AS FOR the labor section; preempting with how operator got wrapped up in the situation by Stalker coming in and demanding help by the end of his scythe; the circumstances forced to comply just like how the Orokin would do before with others. Stalker is just the same as the 'golden lords', replicating the same cycle of abuse that society saw as normal.

Did I like the thought of teenage character being subjected to the outcome of the events of: society defying pregnancy -> body transformed to a low guardian as punishment -> (potential implications of depending on an abusive system for support, akin to military service to access health care and financial support where if you did not engage you aren't allowed to access) -> Death of the terrible system of oppressive and colonial Orokin empire -> Unwilling to change for the changing society, and unwilling to engage with other victims of the same exact system -> Prolonged inaccessibility to the necessary care to survive a difficult pregnancy until the very last moment?

No; I would've preferred the Drifter if it had to be engaged with, at least in the touchy aspect of child/teenager + pregnancy/labor. It at LEAST has the detachment that they're not actively going through it, it doesn't come with the specific body-autonomy horror of carrying another life to term - which is something I would've preferred more.

BUT CONSIDERING, how within USAmerica legislators have been stripping that same body autonomy from afab people, allowing far worse to happen than just "press button to go into labor" its good to have such difficult topics handled! Because shaming it, disallowing conversations around it, or even shaming the 'thought' around even the briefest of acknowledgement, is no better than the pro/anti fandom bullshit that are two extremes of tolerance or intolerance.

As a story beat it stripped both the player and the operator of body autonomy for that ONE moment; an operator that had put a brief trust in helping the Stalker, to help a warframe with an affliction they had no idea of going in.

And, said as personally, as uncomfortable as it may be, it also speaks into the moment of an adult coercion of a child or teenager. He walks in and asks for help with a scythe aimed at the person they ask for help, it's not a plea, its a demand, to which the details are never discussed. Especially under a guise of 'don't want to say no' isn't easy to get across in a quick way within dialogue, so they leave it to interruption. And so has to go along with it, no matter what happens, and it just end with an astral projection event of the results of such a predicament.

It's a dense cluster of subject matter that is hard to get across, and if it resonates or not, tasteful or not, its handled in a delicate way that other media would just fuck up with majorly.

I'm not touching the fandom built expectation that i'd be yoai. That's on ya'll getting riled up after witw and wanting token instead of what warframe has already been doing. LGBT+ as people instead of tallies.

[xgh05tx]

Happy pride guys WOOOOO!!!!!!

I would totally do more characters bc this is definitely not all the characters that I have that are in the LGBTQ+ but that would’ve taken way too long lol.

Tropical Storm is a lesbian who is dating the pansexual Queen Calamity, their relationship is totally the GuardxQueen trope bc that’s one of my favorite tropes.

I’ve explained Taipan and Neptune before so I don’t think I need to again lol. But, Taipan is Bi, like me, and Neptune is gay.

Moth is based on a dead moth I had seen in my math class one year lol which is kinda sad but it’s ok bc I am recognizing that moth with moth. Moth is aroace and nonbinary, they live in Pantala and they’re a writer.

The other aroace dragon I have is the queen of the icewings, Evergreen. She takes over for her mother at a young age, as her mother was killed in battle, and has been running the kingdom pretty damn well for her age.

Chalcedony is demisexual, she is Neptune’s mother and Evergreen’s personal guard. Chalcedony was the previous queens guard as well and regrets not being able to save the late queen and leaving her children without a mother. She tries everyday to make up for it.

Queen Moi is the spouse of the current seawing queen, she is trans and bisexual. I created her back in Mermay for the prompt royalty and named her after the moi fish, the species means “fish of kings” so I did a little spin on it.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the drawings and have a wonderful pride month!