#lesbians and evil men moment i guess

[dykeulous]

alright so trans men don’t experience misogyny & aren’t uniquely marginalized for being trans men but it’s also a-okay to be vigorously misogynistic to us & then claim we aren’t affected by misogyny in the very same breath. it’s acceptable to claim we have “female privilege” & tell us we just need to shut up and listen to the people whose voices actually matter. it’s completely alright & totally not discriminatory to infantilize us & treat us like we’re incapable of having intellectual conservations, incapable of talking about our own oppression because we just need to let the smart people speak. but it’s also okay to then claim we are as powerful and as privileged as cis men, because we’re men. it’s understandable that people are wary around us & we should work on making everyone around us feel more comfortable, we are capable of oppressing both cis women & trans women & we are just as snide, just as violent, just as abusive and predatory as cis men are. we simultaneously hold this imaginary “female privilege”, while also having male privilege, whatever can be used against us at the given moment. we are both evil men who are capable of upholding the patriarchy on a systemic level, as well as stupid female theyfabs who cannot think for themselves. trans women are allowed to talk about the ways they’ve been victimized for being gender non-conforming during their childhoods, they are allowed to talk about the ways homophobia specifically affected them & they are allowed to share their solidarity with gnc men & gay men, they are allowed to express the ways that transmisogyny can also affect gnc & gay men– but we are never allowed to talk about the ways we have been victimized by gncphobia, homophobia & lesbophobia; we are never allowed to share our solidarity with gnc women & lesbians, nor are we allowed to express the ways that antitransmasculinity can affect gnc women & lesbians– otherwise we aren’t really trans & are just fakers. we are monstrous misogynists & transmisogynists, we take advantage of being female because it’s somehow a blessing & a privilege for us that we’re female– but female privilege only exists when it comes to trans men. otherwise, everyone else and their dog is affected by misogyny, but we never are, under any circumstances; which is very hilarious, because the people who claim all this are some of the most misogynistic scum i’ve encountered in my entire life. the more you learn, i guess.

[pageofheartdj]

'Gender is fluid, you can be a man yesterday, a woman today, and something else tomorrow, you can change in any moment'

'YES'

'Aromantics and asexuals can date and have sex, because there are other kinds of attractions, they love the activities themselves, their attraction is situational or comes and goes'

'Er okay I guess'

'Lesbians can also like men like aroma-'

'NO! EVIL! SEXUALITY IS EITHER ONE OR ANOTHER! NO FLUIDITY! NEVER! DIE!'

[sadkachow]

sometimes i wish i wasn’t transmasc.

i love being me, but it just gets so exhausting. 

i’m not in an environment where i’m able to be entirely open about it, and it makes every moment when i’m with anyone i’m not out to exhausting. i feel like i’m putting on a show, pretending to be someone i’m not.

and then (and this is the main point of this post) sometimes it feels like the queer community hates people like me. not always, but certainly enough. enough to make me feel isolated, even in online spaces where i can be myself, because no one wants me to be me. the amount of shit i see by other queer people (even other trans men!) about how my manness somehow means i don’t experience oppression (which assumes every trans masc or man can or wants to pass—and even then, they must also be quiet about their transness), that trans mascs and men aren’t allowed to have the language to speak about their oppression, that we’re oppressing other trans people (by merit of being men, i guess???), that we’re evil disgusting monsters. 

the fear-mongering around t, the idea that it makes you bad and dangerous, the idea that certain effects of t are inherently disgusting and bad.

the way that we’re either seen as “evil vicious wicked men” or “poor dumb stupid girls- i mean boys- i mean girls”.

we’re hated because we’re failed women. 

we’re hated because we’re men.

no trans man or masc has ever experienced oppression based on their identity—and don’t you dare go look up the reported rates of violence, harassment, and s/a that we receive, don’t you dare look at how high they are! 

trans men aren’t allowed to see our transness and our manhood as connected in any way, they must be separated (“we have to protect queerness from disgusting masculinity”—which is also harmful to anyone who is comfortable or even enjoys experiencing and embracing their masculinity). 

gay trans men like me are introducing on the gay community.

straight trans men are either preying on innocent women, or they’re “better” than cis men, because they(“‘re not really men”) know what women want and are like and can thus serve women better!

trans men who still identify with lesbianism for whatever reason are either treated as women or treated (once again) as evil invaders out to harm women.

not to mention the trans mascs and men who identify with any other label than those three—no matter what, our identities and labels get twisted around to be used against us, to the point where sometimes it feels like maybe it’d be better if we didn’t identify as anything at all (except maybe that’d get turned against us too).

we get attacked for trying to have more neutral language (i.e. “pregant people” instead of “pregnant women”, “menstrual hygiene” instead of “feminine hygiene”, etc). we get attacked for having our own language (the way every single term used to describe transmasc oppression has been dissected and degraded until it’s become clear that maybe it’s not the word itself but simply the fact that we are using it).

we get told how much men are awful and horrible either as if we arent “really” men (“kill all men. but not you, you’re one of the ‘good ones’ (aka: i don’t see you as a man)”), or because we’re just as bad and need to be separated and killed and harassed and hated (“kill all men, including trans men. you can’t be mad, you’re asking for it by (existing as yourself) being a man!” “trans men really are the men of the lgbtqia+ community” (this is also a form of malgendering—gendering someone correctly for the sake of harming or attacking them (aka with malicious intent))).

i see so much help and resources for other queer people, but hardly any for trans mascs/men. i’ve seen support that parades itself as “for trans people”, and then it turns out it’s for all trans people except trans men. (this isn’t an exaggeration, by the way. i’ve seen multiple respurces that say that they’re for the support of all trans people, and then if you actually read into it, they’re for the support of trans women and nonbinary people only—which is completely fine that those support groups exist! but then don’t label it as “for all trans people” if it’s not for all trans people. that’s exclusionary, and can also present nonbinary identities as “women-lite”—and also often leaves no space for trans women and nonbinary people who present in a more masculine way or who also identify with manhood/as men to some degree, or for nonbinary people who dont identify with womanhood/as women at all.)

violence against trans men is so often erased because we’re misgendered even in death. we’re forcefully detransitioned. we’re s/a-ed and abused at extremely high rates.

we’re pitiful misled girls or failed women or wicked evil men or pick me’s or vile abusers. 

we’re evil and we cannot be hurt or oppressed because we’re men, as if that is not a point of view that is based on bioessentialism/gender essentialism, racism, intersexism, and extremely harmful (especially to marginalised men in general—trans or not). 

no identity is uniquely capable or incapable of harm—anyone can harm anyone, regardless of who they are.

and yet, and yet, and yet, it’s alright because we asked for it by simply being us.

sometimes it just feels so isolating to be a trans boy, because everywhere i look, there’s people hating me for existing.

im just so tired of it.

(clarification: i know not all of the queer community holds this stance. i’ve seen and/or met wonderful queer people of all identities who have been understanding and accepting. i’m also not trying to say that the things mentioned in this are only driven forward by the community—plenty of people who aren’t in it do this stuff as well. what i mean is just that it feels as if this sort of talk—particularly radfem rhetoric—has been incredibly pervasive lately, at least from what i’ve experienced. i feel like a lot of people forget it’s not just the “trans exclusionary” part of TERFs that is bad, but the radical feminism as well. radical feminism isn’t good. it’s incredibly bioessentialist, racist, intersexist, and harmful in so many other ways by its nature. but it still stands so clearly in so many places. this is also by no means a comphrensive list on the treatment of trans mascs/men. i’m not infallible. there’s certainly other things that have happened that i’ve either forgotten or am not aware of—and if anyone wants to add on, feel free!)

[caliburn-the-sword]

tlc fairest thoughts

this is all gonna be one post because if i put every "levana wtf" moment i had. i would end up just posting the ENTIRE book. ngl will probably tag this as anti?? because i don't have very much that is nice to say unlike the other books. respectfully, do not press keep reading if you're gonna be upset about how i feel about fairest because i don't want you to have a bad internet experience and i don't want ME to have a bad internet experience. thanks <3

am i really going to be forced to go through a whole second-hand-embarrassment-fest as an explanation for levana's backstory

sorry the writing style is giving the cruel prince. and i am very much not a fan of that book

wait i'm really confused. levana was 15 yet is now celebrating her 17th?? did the mourning period last an entire year or???

levana is just as delulu as cress when it comes to love, but she doesn't have the excuse of being locked up for like a decade in isolation. what's her excuse lol

respect for evret for being the ONLY grown man in this goddamn series that doesn't go after minors

AND NOW LEVANA IS 16 AGAIN. looks like someone in publishing didn't notice the continuity error lmao

idk if it's because i'm tired but WHY does channary not want anyone to know the father of the baby?? and also aren't there dna tests for that which make it redundant anyway??? tho i guess if she's fucking THAT many men then she wouldn't even know where to start with testing even if she did want to

i'm sorry but there's something HILARIOUS about levana hating all these women having babies. knowing that the babies are gonna grow up to kick her ass off the lunar throne

is the queen being glamoured????? it's hard to say because she was ALREADY such a disturbed individual that it's hard to say whether this new shit is her own thoughts or someone else's

TF LEVANA WAS SET ON FIRE BY HER SISTER?????

ahhh. part of me wonders if channary glamouring her sister during early developmental stages is what made levana so fucked up to begin with

the description of how hair catches fire is entirely accurate

god. i feel so bad for evret. his entire life was ruined and then he was killed before he could ever see his daughter grow up

ngl levana didn't seem to be very proactive in HER OWN story?? it's just a bunch of things happening to her or falling into her lap CONSTANTLY. other than her glamouring evret and trying to kill cinder, she never actually DOES anything. it felt like the author had a checklist of things like "okay these all canonically happen before the events of cinder so i'm gonna tick all these off quickly". idk. didn't love it. i'm glad that at least she didn't go to any effort to redeem levana, but istg levana literally had the moral consistency of literal water. one minute she's like "time to toss this baby off a balcony" and then "boohoo i didn't realise that killing someone would ACTUALLY kill them" like girl what???? that's not to say that i WANT her to be good and whatever, in fact i mean the opposite. just let her be an evil bitch. stop with the totally random, OUT OF PLACE bouts of empathy that happen for literally no reason. pulled me out of the plot so hard every time it happened. maybe it's because of my negative feelings but it just felt very anticlimactic?? i'm just sitting here like "okay so what??"

managed to get through the slogfest but i can already feel myself slipping into a reading slump. yesterday i wanted to read winter SO bad but now i feel like i need time to recover from that read. lesbians give me strength to persevere because i KNOW that i will LOVE winter

[ginevrafangirl]

Love Between Fairy and Devil Commentary Part 2

More highlights from my reactions to this drama, episodes 13-24.

Part 1 | Part 3

SPOILERS ahead!

oh no emo boy is staging a coup // also the actor for emo boy really has peak younger sibling face

his expression is EXTREMELYY badass rn // though you still need to redeem yourself after that unneeded kissing of girlie

omg i think batman actually cares about his friend, he just laid his head down ectremely gently

does batman love his bestie enough to transfer his cultivation? // omg he DOES

i LOVE me some depth to my villains

oh jin guangshan is the god of thunder and lightning! its always the king of the gods that has that power!! the parallels to greek and indian mythology!

oh dragon boy, you were so close yet so far // i love these loyal sweet slightly naive yet super powerful and badass right hand men of the male lead // dragon boy, welcome to the club that consists of wen ning, zhong li, chuanyu, and someone from eternal love i am most certainly forgetting (mdzs/cql, who rules the world, eternal love references)

OMG HE MADE THE FLOWER PETALS FALL

lol people wrote smut about them // i meannnn its basically celebrity real person fic

sauron: i wanted to see you // girlie: see ME?? // sauron: i wanted to see you FIX THE BOOK

boy the moment you feel ANYTHING sweet for her you double down on being a dick

lesbian shopkeeper is a hustler and has STREET SMARTS

okay i suppose i gotta cut dragon boy some slack, he is indeed a literal dragon and doesnt understand human customs

jieli is the human 'are we dating' buzzfeed quiz

sauron: its EMOTION time baby

this is the game of thrones lesbian 'teaching you how to make love to our chief' scene

girlie is actually twirling her hair ornaments around her fingers

tragic misunderstanding brothers, my jammm

sauron: i have no emotions. thus i dont love you // girlie: i am so happy that means you dont hate me // like GIRL

i love when this show does comedy man, its so funny

i mean she is literally TAKING EDIBLES

is her hair jewellery getting more and more elaborate??

honestly batman could be honest about his true plan and i think iceman would understand

batman is growing on me as well. his motivations are kinda dark lwj, actual dean winchester vibes // and he actually cares about iceman. fucking yu wuyuan WISHES he had this kinda dimensions (mdzs/cql, supernatural, who rules the world references)

jin guangshan is the true villain of this show, just like hes the only true villain in mdzs

the love triangle i do not love, but its funny that in any other show iceman and girlie would 100% be the main leads, i mean their backstory set that up PERFECTLY

god is speaking to ice god // oh its jin guangshan speaking from the sky

damn man must not even be able to jerk off without big brother watching

dragon boy: you're also an orphan? // sir there are a lot of orphans in this world

dragon boy you want to be trustworthy and honest and you're working for THE LITERAL DEVIL

catwoman has a WHIP!? of CHAINS? thats BADASS

she fixed it??? since when did she magically gain THAT ability

its really interesting how physical objects enter illusions and dreams // by that i mean the fucking golden leaf

'how dare you come for my people' cue ROCK GUITAR SOLO

sir you already broke the couldron once, aint batman just gonna glue it back together again?

they sure sacrifice the plot effects of the one heart curse in favor of romance quite a bit

evil god??? there is a god named evil god??

i think girlie has grown proper fond of sauron // she is acting so 'oppaaaa' aegyo-y to him rn

who tf sleeps with their arms crossed, sauron, you can be such a pouty child sometimes

i am glad they showed the effect on all the soldiers and families that die in meaningless battles

soooo since she looks like an old woman, i guess in this universe immortals do age, just really really slowly

cue the 'why are you running meme' except its sauron being chased by an emotion

oh his emotions are growing! its cause she is the goddess of xiyun that can cure anything (oop)

i think daddy was losing the war and got desperate and traumatized his kids

she is wearing more jewellery! symbolism of her falling more in love and growing more comfortable by his side?

sauron: oh NO i am feeling an EMOTION

the founder of the moon tribe is lady yan, aka princess yue heheeh (atla reference)

jieli, honey, why did you have to make things so hard for yourself and try to steal

jieli stealing makes no sense, she is a smart woman, she wouldnt take that kinda risk

so sauron here is incredibly op and the big struggle he has to overcome is dealing with his own emotions

this is a very thinly veiled metaphor for men being fucked up and emotionally repressed and the women in their lives having the responsibility (even if taken willingly) to fix the emotions

langhua is THE 'i can fix him' girlie now that she cares about him

girlie always finds her backbone whenever it comes to a man smh

i think girlie and lesbian shopkeeper should date, dragon boy and sauron should date, girlie and sauron should date, and just be a fun polyamourous quartet

daddy is a qi deviated nie mingjue (mdzs/cql reference)

if the book is burnt to ashes, how are you gonna find a random pile of ashes? how do you know its the book? // someone very conveniently collected the ashes and put them back in the original box and put the box in the throne

if the final step to the ritual is patricide, how will he successfully complete the ritual this time?

bro just became ghost rider

also why was there a throne in the bedroom of daddy?

difference between daddy and sauron and the nie bros is that nhs always knew his brother loved him very much (mdzs/cql reference)

she is INSANE to willingly jump into a whirlpool to go to the afterlife to ask a very scary demon lord if he loved his son // girlie is one dedicated pr agent

she is just supermanning through this water // and he is ironmanning through it

if the guqin was repaired by magic, why can you see the cracks?

its a tragedy innit

oh why do i get the feeling he is gonna have to kill her to win some kinda battle and control hellfire again

this dad is the exact opposite of elio's dad in cmbyn

they are practically shoving the cinematic parallels in my face

also there was absolutely NO need to get shirtless lmao he just wanted to show off

give him a hug, girlie // YES // wow // that must be his first hug since his nanny // fuck the patriarchy for not letting men hug each other

sauron with his hair down is a LOOK

emo boy wanted to spend time with his gegeee

she has huge asian mom energy by bribing him with food

i'm not sure if he still wants to take over the fairy tribe or not, this could be a potential conflict in the future

is girlie STILL in denial about her liking him? boy you like the IDEA of ice man but the actual sauron. stop lying to yourself

LMAO he's like i will kill everyone for you so you can go back homee

ice god is suffering from a sad case of second lead syndrome

wow security at the tower is BAD if she was able to sneak him out so easily

dont you dare follow him danyin // NO // do NOT // oh fuck me // ofcourse she did

i wanted some fun mortal shenanigans, not this angst

girlie there are only a few people in shuiyuntian that are worth leaving a powerful man who you've got in the palm of your hands

i think its so funny the mortal realm is called yunmeng lake

dragon boy and lesbian shopkeeper are slick wit it

so the show is shipping my bisexual icons the shopkeeper and dragon boy?? i can fuck with that

oh wow the girlies are gaslighting and manipulating love that for them

you mean to tell me a mansion of this size was simply up for sale???

being a brothel entertainer is probably what being an idol was like

DID BISEXUAL SHOPKEEPER JUST EAT A RAW BHINDI (a bhindi is a ladysfinger vegetable)

the voice actor is giving the ice mans dad so much more oomph than the actor

oh god mortal ice man is gonna fall for fake mortal girlie

sauron: what is this strange illness that has befallen me // dragon boy: idk man but i have it too // me: WUV

daddy again? i thought we were done with this arc // but i guess you cant heal from trauma that easily

that moon is huge, at this size it would most definitely flood the earth

i wonder whether lady si ming will make an appearance in this story

motral jack frost was BORN with the jade??? did it also come out of his mortal moms fanny??

NAURRR I DONT WANT HER BELOVED TO BE SAURONNN

sauron: jealousy jealousyy

jack frost, being the true artist that he is, getting creative in the middle of the night

the way you can tell that girlie is well and truly over jack frost is that she seems excited about his match with lady war

and that kids, is what you call a self fulfilling prophecy

this is a whole grown ass man, and theyre making him go back to school??

JACK FROST CALLED SAURON HIS ZHIJI??? // proof that polyamory is always the answer

finally!! the batman and lady war backstory i have been waiting for

honestly i am all for destroying shuiyuntian, i have no reason to side with the so called heroes of this show

what is it with disciples that are unhealthily attached to their masters and are willing to go to literally any lengths to revive them after dying // the sam and dean style of unhealthy attachement (eternal love, supernatural references)

human jack frost is such a simp

how is it ep 23 and there still hasnt been a love confession

so sauron is a makeup artist too?? // the james charles of ugly makeup??

i love when incredibly powerful men are vain bitches

they are beneficial conqueror vs peace loving hippie couple

jack frost is a playboy but he will never steal another mans love. it doesnt matter if the woman says no, the only barrier in his road is another man laying claim

siblings or dating: cdrama edition

pissy and bitchy dongfang qingcang IS SO FUNNY I AM DYINGG

dont just tell me that catwoman killed everyone, SHOW ME // i wanna SEE her go on a murderous rampage

honestly the bisexual power couple's dynamic, jieli and shangque, is suited to my taste. her just bullying him and him liking it

girlie has incest on her mind

"asking for a friend"

omg DANYIN TRANS ICON CONFIRMED

not jieli actually saying 'i am not like other girls'

jieli is a BUSINESSWOMAN she has no time for ROMANCE

girlie is having deja vu

This was it for episodes 13-24! There will definitely be a part 3 for the last 12 episodes.

PS: I alternate between calling changheng ice god and jack frost, and variations, but they are the same person!

[menalez]

Ajfjsjakjdfjs there is a lot about lesbian culture in other countries I did not know about!! Like o_o why with thr nudes thing sjdjskdjsjd

I see though i think that makes sense. I feel like theres always that dumb idea of masculine feminine balance 😭 even though i myself am femme4butch i still dontt liek the whole oooaaga divine balaaance. Also its weird bc I think in USA, while there is that idea of course, there's also the 'lipstick' lesbians or 'fem4fem' stereotype or at least, what straight people think of the Good type of lesbians if it makes sense. Like what we see on tv... Its more appealing to them anyway

I mean my ex(😭 it hurts to say my god) gfs mom was actually a bit confused on whether she (ex) was trans like her brother (ftm) or just masculine, Bc i guess her idea of lesbians was the Lipstick kind.? but then also shes not usa american but latin American. Also she was very supportive and sweet just straight and confused with things gjdks

Still i think we have that too or single feminine lesbians get told how its good theyre not the ugly kind if people find out. I think gay men also have similar expectations put on them like ive read about families being more accepting if their son was the "top" or more manly seeming one in his relationship

Also me too 😭 its sooo weird like to have been pressured since being born+!!! And even my teachers would say omg stop flirtingg with boy classmate. ☹️ (crazy bc a teacher thatt taught us Gender Spectrum actualy said that to me bc i was telling this one boy off or something.. ookay.) And then my mom bringing up babies or grandchildren and then in the next moment telling me sex is evil and i should stay away from boys okay ma'am!!!

But jdjd glad that its not just me. Idk i keep feeling worried, but then I feel like im being stuck up and thinking im the only one in the world whos smart and sane so ill never find anyone. Like relax you are not the chosen one (@ myself of course)

Yeah i hope my family will be accepting andd not kill me fjsksjs and I hopee. I can find love and peace.... but thank you for listening! really I appreciate it bc sometimes it just feels like drowning in loneliness and i cant be myself even among friends andd etc. So. Ur very sweet 😭 mwah mwah thanks again mena

literally i could not tell u why she was showing me her nudes. im guessing it’s bc she wanted to show me that she gained weight and show her body before 😭😭 i felt like she was low-key flirting ngl lmaooo but she kept talking about her gf and that’s often a red flag for me sooo nothing happened there. i told her she shouldn’t sit around waiting for the day when her gf inevitably leaves her for a man n that’s not healthy etc. she’s also extremely self-hating in general and said a doctor told her that her lesbianism & masculinity are bc she doesn’t have enough estrogen in her body / has too much testosterone and that she should be on hormones to be fixed, which she fully believed.

im not keen on femme4femme lool from my experience most of them are weirdly anti-butches and hold misogynistic & lesbophobic beliefs! and i do think ur right that’s the more acceptable combo in the west (two gender conforming conventionally attractive women dating). i also hate the stupid idea that bc im not masculine im meant to be dating a woman who is bc it’ll “balance” us both. they also said when im with more androgynous or feminine women, i become more masculine which is “unnatural” or sth 🫥. also my mom is most in support of me dating women that can pass for men, i feel like she thinks if i won’t be w a man then the thing that’s best is me dating a woman who can be mistaken for a man. i think it’s mostly bc she wants to be socially accepted but it can be exhausting

ALSO the top thing is a whole ass thing in the gulf. there’s many bi & straight men who will literally get away with having gay sex bc they exclusively top 💀 a lot of those tests they use to check if ur gay (so they’ll jail u for it) are specifically testing if ur a bottom. it’s a weird weird phenomenon. and it’s especially weird that there’s this weird culture of even straight men seeking out men bc the society is very sex segregated. im sure some of those men aren’t actually straight but it’s such a prominent thing the way it is in prisons in the US that im sure many of them are. craziest part is this culture is most prominent in saudi of all places

omg when i was little i had mainly male friends bc idk girls thought i was a weirdo that stared too much at them or sth. and i was v close to my male friends, we’d hold hands n all but i think we both thought nothing of it. and my mom would be like “omg soooo cute my daughter has a boyfriend omg 🤗 she looooves the boys omg and they love her!!!” meanwhile im 5 years old and just thinking of it like holding my brother’s hand

manifesting u find ur dream gf soon and that coming out goes smoothly for u 🥺❤️ don’t hesitate to msg me whenever. i love hearing from other lesbians n it’s always heartwarming seeing younger lesbians accept themselves, i somewhat envy it (wish i were that brave & self-aware!!!) but it gives me a lot of hope for our future 🥰🥰🥰

[chiisananoinochi]

it looks like im paying the price for wearing crosses for ironic vampire dressing purposes now because now i spend my every waking moment with the hunchback of notre dame stage musical soundtrack because claude frollo tickles the back of my mind like DRUGS and i am begging. i am begging to be freed because youtube is starting to think i'm catholic because of this and i keep getting veggietales recommendations PLEASE. please this is because i want to be a vampire i am NOT religious i am just at the service of my brain's absolutely MERCILESS whims. no more. this is BEYOND humiliating for me

[arundolyn]

Mind sharing your orientation hcs for the undernight/guiltygear cast?

thats a bit of a tall order so here's the ones i personally have particular thoughts on?

hyde - bi

linne - too old to care about labels (bi, some flavor of trans/nb for fun. can't tell me she's basically immortal and is not tired of cishettitude. and also her reincarnation thingy is potentially very conceptually interesting in that it specifically puts her in the bodies Of Girls. brings up some interesting ideas regarding transness even if i personally like to think her soul just goes to whatever it vibes with that's closest at the moment her current body dies and she has no say in the matter. fuck canon that one's more fun. from that standpoint maybe some kind of genderfluid then.)

wald - GAY CAUSE YOU CAN'T TELL ME THE SHIT WITH KUON WASNT LGBT AS HELL. yeah uh huh you respected him as a warrior sooooo much that you defected and pissed adelheid off so bad she said licht kreis is girls only now. no they broke up and she was so big baby mad about wald being Gay, Apparently she's not letting a man within 10 feet of her again i guess

amnesia is like lgbt gang. chaos and gordeau are obvious. too easy. enk gay trans man. hilda trans lesbian who will flirt with men just for fun or evil purposes. girlboss moment.

orie lesbian executor squad quadrouple so true. mika's bi. kaguya is so lesbian definitely. wagner nb lesbian bc why not lets run with the shoddy localization its more fun that way.

phonon + nanase trans lesbian besties to gfs speedrun

yuzuuuuu so bisexual. i love you failgirl

vati agender for sure

merkava canon trans

carmine's just confused and would punch someone he had a crush on (hyde) bc hes pissed theyre making him act weird.

lmao thats mostly everyone whoooops

gg: (i have not played strive's story and dont anticipate to in a while)

sol - lgbt all at once no i will not explain

axl. dont even get me started trans butch nb lesbian you either get it or you dont. i can opine for days

relatedly i-no lesbian. she said im not about to date a man and axl said wait what the fuck did you just trans my gender. her power...

bi ky bi ky no i will not explain

milla elphelt ram all lesbians. id say millia is ace too

baiken and anji trans wlw mlm solidarity ofc

testament

goldlewis is gay as hell for sure and we love him for it

johnny is an egg detector that counts for something

bridget trans gener

ANSWER IS SO GAY. chipp is bi. they are in love and they kiss in the president's office

zato hates women he's gay by proxy but who's keeping score over there. and his strive outfit is literally gay as fuck. why is he as a man always standing with is ass toward the fucking screen. stupid.

slayer bi but hes married. if sharon let him..... im not elaborating.

gio big lesbian for sure

venom. well. yknow.

jack-o trans and bi queen shit love her for that so bad

nagoriyuki has transcended mortal perception (gay and trans but by far the coolest about it)

thats everyone i can think of off the top of my head i think

[kideternity]

maxwell mfin dillon

Mister lightning himself….

-Overall opinion of them: Completely unironically one of the most important characters in the history of planet earths existence to me. Ive liked him since I was 7 years old for over 10 years and I will keep liking him for over 10 years! Extremely under-utilised and under appreciated spider man villain. Literally cream of the crop to me. My oldest friend. Sometimes I get a little embarrassed that I care so much but when I remember there are people who like characters that are 100000000000000x times more embarrassing and I don’t feel bad anymore and who cares anyways. He's my guy!

– Gender/sexuality headcanons: Like Noriko Admittedly I think Max across any version can also just like encompass basically every queer identity imaginable (Insert here Gayle saying “Characters who are gay men and lesbians”) BUT to me- Bisexual because he like, already basically is lol or at least heavily implied to be in comics and nonbinary trans man + arospec

– Favorite moment in canon: SOOO many so once again like Shroud I will just list them off in a like greatest hits sort of way but- That one time he crashed Peter's tv interview to call him a bitch ass motherfucker cunt on live tv and walk away from it unscathed laughing. All of the interactions and fights with Daredevil but especially the issue where Max amidst having a mental breakdown keeps calling Matt shit like baby and cute. W@id is a cunt bitch irredeemable asshole but I also did genuinely the stuff about Max REALLY passionately getting into socialism. UHMM that one story where Fucking Magneto comes up to Max and asks him to join the brotherhood of evil mutants and Max said NO 😭😭😭😭 also Basically all of Max's scenes in “Light the night!” From 90s Spider-man #38-40. Even more so all of Max's scenes in ASM1964 issues 422-423 and ESPECIALLY 425. Okay im good

-Favorite moment in a fanwork: UHMMMMMMMM Im blanking on specific people but I've liked a lot of fan art I've seen over the years especially some of the redesigns…… Some of the fics were pretty good too and that i've enjoyed… yeah

–Favorite line, in canon or otherwise: “SO RESPONSIBILITY IS YOUR THING, HUH? THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HUNG UP ON, RIGHT? WELL, YOU CAN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS!”

– Characters I love seeing them interact with: IDK if I necessarily actually LIKE seeing Max and Peter interact usually but they like absolutely drive me fucking crazy insane bonkers batshit when I DO think about them. Literally on my hands and my knees asking for any writer ever to actually further their relationship in a meaningful way. I think I’m the only person with this take too but I actually fucking love the Daredevil vs Electro issues I think they have a hilarious dynamic HHRFUHFDUDJD Max uhmmm doesn’t have really positive relationships with other villains but I like it when he gets along with Sandman Flint and they should do more with that (: also IDC IDC but they should have done morewith the Magneto connection it woulda been funny. Also Noriko + Max should be besties and so should Max + Eric ant man

-Last thing before sleeping headcanons: man's made of electricity he don’t need to godamn sleep

– Sleeping habits headcanons: okay well to contradict my last point I think he doesn’t need to sleep but he does sleep anyways. Because it makes him feel less existential over his state of existence

– First thing after waking up headcanons: eat batteries and smoke cigarettes

– Favorite locations headcanon: honest to god don’t think Max has ever actually liked anywhere he's ever been in canon but if I were to wager a guess probably just anywhere with strong electrical currents running about- like concerts, power plants, clubs, arcades, etc. I don’t think he's picky but he’s just never one to get attached either

[bestnoncannonship]

I'm drowning in the gender sandbox guys.

I am agender. At least....I think I am. It's the closest to what I'm feeling. In that I really do not have an attachment to any gender and cannot conceive how people identify with a gender. Like....they just FEEL a gender? All the time? No matter what they look like and what they're wearing they FEEL a gender?? Whaaaa??? Sounds hella fake but okay.

And now I'm gonna talk about that and my experience for a while, in a series of ways that's probably gonna get the gender and sexuality neo-puritans to come yell at me for not being ritually pure enough in the way I talk but.....I'm talking from my own brain, baby. This is the toolkit I'm packing right now and the world I live in and I just need to spit it out. Maybe see if it resonates with people who know more than me. I don't know. Help.

I didn't question being a woman for the longest time. I grew up in a rural area culturally dominated by "Christians" (Not Catholics. I was Catholic. That comes with a whole different set of religious traumas pre-installed. I mean the ScAaRy protestent and nondenom Christians.) You didn't question anything. Not an adults orders. Not authority. Certainly not straightness. Gender was biological. I'd never heard of a trans person. There were rumors of Gays™. For most of my life it was just "Gender is the meat suit you got stuck with, right? I got stuck with this meat suit so it's my gender, I guess." And when I finally left the middle-o-nowhere for Le Citè and I met some (mostly bianary) trans people I was like "OH! OKAY!! Having strong feelings about being in the wrong meat suit can make a gender!" And the non bianaries that I met were still playing on that bianary scale. The "bit of boths" and the "different genders for different days" varieties. They has strange attachments to genders. And the whole retoric of "Questioning your gender and feeling things about you gender is the indicator that you might be trans!!" Just furthered my feeling that I must just be female by default cause like.....I didn't question anything. I didn't think about gender. I had a COMPLETE lack of feelings about gender whatsoever and that was normal, right?? Just meat suit gender. I certainly didn't have a strong feeling about wanting to be the opposite: *gag* a man?? A straight white man? Nope! I have no desire to be a bianary man and frankly I find 99 percent of men and male culture traumatic. So I must just be meat-suit gender.

And yes, I wanted to scrape my breasts and hips and thighs off with a cheese grater. But I wrote that off as a symptom of having started putting a finger down my throat after meals when I was 6 and having a family that forced hour upon hour exercise with their thighs and tummies wrapped in saran wrap and sang "I don't love her! She's too fat for me!" to a literal toddler and put that same toddler in oversized clothes to hide the healthy baby squish that toddlers HAVE. OF COURSE I wanted to die when my breasts grew in and my hips and thighs filled out. They were evil fat deposits. And they meant nothing but unwanted attention from yucky men. (Lesbianism to be discovered some 15 years later. My comphets we're almost as bad as my compgenders.) It had nothing to do with gender. Gender is just the meat suit ....and I already hated the meat suit by the time I had breast buds, they just enhanced a disgust that I thought was normal by then. Everyone kind of hates their meat suit, right?? Yes I wanted to look like men sometimes.....but they were skinny heroin chic men. I also wanted to look like kate moss. I wanted to look like a sideways door but my family is Italian and we have hips and thighs. It's just the meat suit I was assigned. Just have to learn to deal with it and dress it in the way that it looks most socially acceptable and get on with life. And my meat suit had a very gendered look, even in the deepest throws of my illness. "All woman." "The curves of a real woman." So that was just the hand I was dealt. Like having a hard to match foundation undertone. You don't gotta like it, it's just reality. Yes, I wanted to wear nothing but waistcoats and gay vampire clothes but they weren't cut for my body type so *shrug*.

Did I start to have way too much fun cosplaying and embodying male characters? Yes. But that was just identifying with characters. I'd always identified with characters. Did I still distinctly identify with the character's gender, even when I femmed the costume to avoid the hellish pain of binding? Yes. Did it make me feel weird when people referred to my Thor as a woman, even though it was technically a femme? Yes. But that was just feminism. Heroes don't need to be called girl heroes. No gender issues here!! Besides it's not weird in fandom circles to stongly identify with people across gender lines. The fact that I found the gendernope option if there was one available in the fandom and *attached* was surely just coincidental. Right??

Did I absolutely loose my mcfreaking mind when the gyno started talking about having to take my uterus away because the amount of blood it was loosing was doing irreparable harm to my body? Yes. My gender is my meat suit. When you take it away....what am I???? A *gag* man??? Nothing at all?? Am I still even human?? If I am not *gag* male and you take away the female part of the meat suit am I an aphid? A plant? A chair? But I was comforted by a chorus of voices saying "No!! You're a WOMAN. Infertility doesn't make you not a woman! You still have a woman's body!! Because you're a woman!!! Just look at you in your skirts and with your long hair!! You're a woman!!!" So.....still a woman, I guess. Because I still LOOKED like one. Gender = the PRESENTATION of the meat suit. That made sense. The structure of my meat suit made me limited to woman-presentation. So I was woman.

Then, it was the stupidest thing, I was talking to the other half of my life on the 4/5 train on the way to a friend's house about HER issues with gender presentation and the amount of attention to detail it takes to be socially acceptable as female and she said "You just know you're a girl. Like if they just picked you up and put you in a robot body you'd be a girl?" And I was like "......no? I'd be a robot?????" "But you'd still feel like a girl???" "No.....I'd feel like a ROBOT." "BUT you'd still like hear she/her and identify with those???" "No. I'd probably identify more with It/it's because that's what I'd be. A ROBOT!" And she's like "But what if your brain got transplanted into a boy body???" "Then I'd be a boy." "But what would you feel like?" "A BOY?" "Okay but what if you had a very neutral body with like no genitals? What would you feel like then??" "I mean....then it would depend on how I'm dressed. I'd feel like what I was dressed like." And we went around like this till she surmised that my entire relationship to gender was basically "You are what you look like." Which is apparently NOT how people relate to their own gender. They "feel" it somehow?? (I genuinely thought "FEELING" like a gender was what made trans people.) I feel nothing. I identify with a lot of things and ZERO of them are a gender. I thought that was normal. I thought that was the default. Apparently it's not. And then if you ask me what I want to be.....I can't answer. I really don't want to be a gender. I guess I want to be able to put different genders on at my will, like outfits, for societal convenience. But I don't "identify" with any of them. Hell, I have sweaters I identify with more than any particular gender. But there aren't really systems in place for describing and portraying that.

Gender.exe was not installed.

I did a lot of research. Agender felt closest. I actually felt closest to a Good Omens meme about Aziraphale describing his gender as "No, thank you!" That's what I feel like. But all the agender folks were vibing that moment. So I joined 'em. I am aware that puts me under the trans umbrella, but I don't really identify with that word. I don't feel like there's any transition. Any changing. Can't change what was never there. Also I feel like it's for people who....CAN present as their gender. I would be seen as an invader in those spaces. Its not bad enough to justify being in those spaces. I can live with being gendered. I just don't have one.

In the society we live in one cannot present as "not a gender". Someone with MY body definitely cannot present as "not a gender". The clothes that they make in size "giant human with planet tits" are agressively gendered. And even in a binder.....they're still REALLY there. (Yes, a reduction is desirable but I don't have reduction money.....and you can't reduce the fact that I'm the bowl shaped robust extreme female hipbone they use in Forensic Anthropology textbooks.) It is what it is. My body will always be perceived the way it's perceived. And frankly a lot of what we perceive as genderless is just "skinny body in masc style with short hair and makeup". That's not really want I want. I don't want to cut off my hair. It's my one really good feature and I've worked hard to grow out these Valkyrie worthy lengths. Mens clothes are so limiting. And there are no gender: no thank you clothes. (One well meaning friend kept trying to send me "genderless" clothes......but it was all rail thin afabs in mens clothes with short hair and heavy makeup. That's not looking genderless. That's just being skinny.) Gender no thank you presentation is very tied to short hair and thin bodies. So I've accepted that I don't get to play in the gender sandbox outside of the privacy of my own mind. It's a societal flaw. But whatever.

But pronouns are starting to really bother me. Everyone is so into them and identifying with them. And like.....I don't get it. I don't get the joy. I don't think I've found the one. Like.....I'm used to she. I will always be read as she. I will always be Miss and Ma'am in stores and restraunts. So I just kind of roll with it. I don't hate it. I don't like it. It's just a thing that I have to have to exist in society. Like a social security number. I actually think I identify with my social security number more. There's no point in making myself uncomfortable with something that's just going to be a part of my life. And I don't want to be the kind of person who expects people to address me by a pronoun they can't see and aren't used to. It's too much to ask of the average citizen of a gendered society to go through that much gender theory for just me. So "she" is an inevitable part of my life. And He....well ......I don't hate it. I dont like it. It's just there. I certainly don't get called it. And I'm not capable of presenting it well enough for this to be relevant. Now they......fuck I HATE they. I hate that it's the acceptable pronoun for anyone not bianary male or female. It just rubs me the wrong way. When people refer to me as they, I feel like they're referring to me and the host of mental illnesses I carry around and you don't have permission to address those troops thank you very much. They causes a genuine squick. But it's kinda the only widely acceptable option. I kinda like "it". I VIBE with it. It feels good. Unfortunately the people in my life have a certain reluctance about calling me it as they believe that happy vibe around a traditionally dehumanizing pronoun may be a trauma symptom. They might be right so I'm tabling "it" till I find a good therapist. Also...I cannot ask strangers to call me it. I don't have the confidence it takes to explain why and I frankly don't want to be faced with the criticism and questions I would face because I am unable to make my body be perceived as Nonbinary. I don't have the confidence or conviction to face that every day forever. Ditto neopronouns. I also haven't found one that I vibe with at all yet.

And queer labels get harder when you pull away from gender entirely. Like ... I am a Lesbian. I am solely attracted to women. But now I'm getting a lot of "You can't be a lesbian if you don't have a gender!!!" And like ...can I??? I like being a lesbian. It feels right. It conveys what I want it to convey. I like the exclusion of men entirely, after being taught to structure my life around men. I have a kinship with womanhood. It's where I was raised. It's how people see me. I just don't identify with it. It's not how I see myself. I guess that can kind of exclude me from the label? All of our terms are defined by being attracted to "your own gender" or "the opposite gender" or "both your own gender and other genders" and like ... I don't have a gender. And the opposite of nothing is....?? Fuck if I know? So what term am I allowed to use? I love queer for exactly this reason. But it just doesn't have the same clarity that lesbian does.

So I'm just kind of in a hole rn. Grappling with the fact that I really don't have a gender in a gendered world, and dealing with the fact that so much of our understanding and acceptance of gender is about presentation, a door closed to my body. I don't have the confidence or the spoons or the knowledge or the experience to fight this fight. The path of least resistance is sticking my head back into the sand and going with straightforward womanhood....but now it feels like I'm lying. I feel like an intruder in woman's spaces. And I can't go in men's spaces, they see me as....well...a woman. Lesser.

Someone out there who's better at the genders please help.

[rantingcrocodile]

Kinsey 1 again. Well, yes, I do think that LGB spaces should be for same sex attraction only. It makes no damn sense for Kinsey 1s like me to be there. I don't really "actively hide being bi" or anything, because I have only ever actually felt like a little crush type attraction to a woman like 3 times in my life, and never acted on it. It's not something I ever think about because it doesn't really have any affect on my life. It's very minor and not important to me.

I just feel hurt I guess that kissing women at parties makes me lesbophobic or something. Which I haven't even done in years anyways. But it was just fun being drunk and high and comfortable with nice strangers. And then I see lesbians on here talk about how horrible that is because I wouldn't have a relationship with a woman, so that makes me evil and bad. Why would I want to go to an LGB space and talk about this? It just makes me look like the living embodiment of the stereotype they hate, and it would make all the other bis who are 50/50 or febfem look bad by association. They could point at me and say to you, "look there she is! proof! all bi women do is make out at parties they are users who do not want love!"

And I have had a lesbian get a crush on me once, in community college. I told her I was straight of course. She was a very touchy feely person and was always hugging me when our group hung out, and I let her hug me even though it made me uncomfortable. I could tell she was still crushing on me even after I let her down. But I was not attracted to her.

I think it is better if I am straight, it is easier, healthier, better, because I do not have to deal with any of that bullshit drama. In the straight world, women can kiss and makeout and it is fun and free and happy and it doesn't make us bad people, it is just having some fun.

Life gets easier when you recognise that the biphobes are going to hate us for literally anything anyway. You need to live your life in a way that makes you happy.

Biphobic lesbians like to pretend that bisexuals are evil "bihets" that would never have a relationship with women and also predatory and obsessed with lesbians who are always in relationships with them and break their hearts. There is no winning here, they always have excuses.

I could reiterate what I said last night, but I want you to consider the opposite for a moment.

What do you think I would say to someone that came here, described herself essentially as a "febfem" and then said that it was "easier" and "less drama" to call herself a "lesbian" even though that wasn't true?

If you really considered yourself "straight" then none of this would bother you. You wouldn't be offended and hurt by biphobia because you could brush it off because it wouldn't apply to you.

You know my stance here. I'll always support you and be here for you, but I also really do think that you need to take some time and process all of this.

Edit: I just saw this second part afterwards, sorry!

They’re supposed to be support spaces that include bisexuals. 

In fairness, you’re completely hung up on the false belief that it’s about same-sex attraction and nothing else. They’re for bisexuals, too. 

Realistically, they’re not just to get support, they’re to give support as well. 

You don’t deal with the same problems that lesbians and gay men do, but you do face the same problems that other bisexuals have to go through, which is biphobia and the massive internalised biphobia that most bisexuals have.

It’s really not laughable at all. I wish you realised exactly how important and worthy you are, too.

[kuromichad]

different subject that’s heavy on my mind rn but since i’m already being harsh let’s get into it. i wish it wasn’t automatically presumed to be some kind of truscum attitude when someone tries to express that different parts of The Trans Community have like, different needs and different risk levels and different experiences and that we have the ability to talk over each other, harm each other, etc... like when i put it that way people generally are like ‘of course that’s true!’ but is it ever really understood in practice? a number of people (not a large enough number, but still) are able to loosely understand ‘you can be trans and transphobic’ when it’s applied to the matter of transmisogyny but when a trans person tries to express distrust of or frustration with afab nb people due to how common it is that that category of person will, despite being trans/nb, espouse bioessentialist, anti-medical-transition, radfem-adjacent if not outright cryptoterf rhetoric, suddenly ‘trans people can be transphobic’ gets applied to... the person with a complaint about transphobia. 

because he’s clearly an evil truscum man! regardless of if the person making the complaint is a trans man or trans woman, oops, lol. he’s a bad person who is attacking and invalidating and totally hatecriming the heckin’ valid, equally at-risk transgender identity of “an afab woman who isn’t a woman except when she pointedly categorizes themself as a woman because being afab makes them a woman who is ‘politically aligned’ with women but she’s not an icky unwoke cis woman because they don’t like being forced into womanhood although Really When You Think About It 🤔 all women are dysphoric because obviously the pathologized medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria in transgender people is something that equally applies to cis women just default existing under patriarchy 🤔, and no, equating these things totally does not imply anything reductive about or add a bizarre moral dimension to the idea of being transgender, whaaaaat, this woman who isn’t a woman doesn’t think there’s anything immoral or cowardly or misogynist or delusional about being transgender, they would never say that because THEY’RE transgender, except when she feels it’s important (constantly) to make clear that she’s Still A Woman Deep Down Inherently Despite Not Identifying As One, and none of this ever has any effect on how they treat the concept, socially and politically, of people who actually wholly identify with (and possibly medically transition to) a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, be it ‘the opposite gender’ or abstaining from binary gender altogether or ‘politically aligning’ with the ‘opposite’ gender from their asab. never ever!”

and like maybe that sounds like a completely absurd and hateful strawman to you! but in that case you’re either like, lucky, or optimistic, or ignorant. i’m literally not looking at random nb people and declaring that in My Truscum Opinion they’re ‘really a woman’ just because they’re not medically transitioning or meeting some arbitrary standard of mine. i am looking at self-identified afab nb people, who most often use she/they because, y’know, words mean things, especially pronouns, so people who are willingly ‘aligned with womanhood’ typically intentionally use she/her (sorry that i guess that’s another truscum take now!!! that pronouns mean things!!! the bigender transmasc who deliberately uses exclusively he/him wants it to invoke a perception he’s comfortable with!), who actively say the things listed above (in a non-sarcastic manner). 

like, the line between a person who says “i don’t claim to really not be my asab because i know no one would ever perceive me as anything else” because theyve internalized a defeatist attitude due to societal transphobia, and a person who says that because they... genuinely believe it’s impossible/ridiculous/an imposition to truly be transgender (in the traditional trans sense, beyond a vague nb disidentification with gender) and are actively contributing to the former person’s self loathing... is hard to define from a distance! i think plenty of people who are, in a sense, ‘tentative’ or like ‘playing close to home’ so to speak in their identity are ‘genuinely trans’ (whatever that may mean) and just going through a process. they might arrive at a different identity or might just eventually stop saying/believing defeatist stuff, who knows. but there are enough people saying it for the latter reason, or at least not caring if they sound that way, that it’s like, dangerous. it is actively incredibly harmful to other trans people. and it’s fucking ridiculous that it’s so difficult to criticize because you’ll always get the defense of “umm but i’m literally trans” and/or “well i’m just talking about ME, this doesn’t apply to other trans people” when it’s an attitude that very clearly seeps into their politics and the way they discuss gender.

because it’s just incredibly common for afab nb people (most typically those that go by she/they! since i’m aware that uh, i am also afab nb, but we clearly are extremely different, so that’s the best categorization i’ve got) to discuss gender in moralized terms, with the excuse of patriarchy/misogyny existing, which of course adds another difficult dimension to trying to criticize this because it gets the response of “don’t act like misandry is real” (it’s not, but being a dick still is) and “boohoo, let women complain about their oppressors” (this goes beyond ‘complaining’). a deliberate revocation of empathy/sympathy/compassion from men and projection of inherently malicious/brutish/cruel intent onto men (not solely in the justified generalizations ‘men suck/are dangerous’, but in specific interactions too) underpin a whole fucking lot of popular posts/discussions online, whether they’re political or casual/social, and it absolutely influences how people conceptualize and feel about transness. 

because ‘maleness is evil’ is still shitty politics even when you’ve slightly reframed it from the terf ‘trans women are evil because they’re Really Men and can never escape being horrific soulless brutes just as women can never escape being fragile morally superior flowers’ to the tumblr shethey “trans women who are out to me/unclockable are tolerable i guess because they’re women and women are good; anyone i personally presume to be a cis man, though, is still automatically evil, and saying trans men are Just As Bad is progressive of me, and it’s totally unrelated and apolitical that i think we should expand the concept of afab lesbianism so broadly that you can now be basically indistinguishable from trans men on literally every single level except for a declaration of ‘but i would never claim to be a man because i’m secure in the Innate Womanhood of the body i was born into, even as i medically alter that body because it causes me great gendered discomfort.’ none of this at all indicates that i feel there’s an immense moral/political gap between being an afab nb lesbian vs a straight trans man! it says nothing at all about my concept of ‘maleness’ and there’s no way this rhetoric bleeds into my perception of trans women and no way loudly talking about all this could keep trans people around me self-loathing and closeted, because i’m Literally Trans and Not A Terf!”

again, if that sounds like a hateful strawman, sorry but it’s not. i guess i’m supposed to be like ‘all of the many people ive seen saying these shitty things is an evil outlier who Doesn’t Count, and it’s not fair to the broad identity of afab shethey to not believe that every person who doesn’t outright say terfy enough things is a perfectly earnest valid accepting trans person who’s beyond criticism’ but like. this cannot be about broad validation. this can’t be about discarding all the bad apples as not really part of the group. we can’t be walking on eggshells to coddle what are essentially, in the end, Cis Feelings, because in the best cases this kind of rhetoric comes from naive people who are early and uncertain in their gender journey or whatever and are in the process of unraveling internalized transphobia, and in the easily observable worst cases these people are very literally redefining shit so that ‘actually all afab women are trans, spiritually, all afabs have dysphoria, we are all Equally oppressed by Males uh i mean cis men <3’ because, let’s be honest, they know that the moment they call themselves trans they get to say whatever they want about gender no matter how harmful it is to the rest of us. and those ideas spread like wildfire through the afab shethey “woman that’s not a woman” community that frankly greatly outnumbers other types of trans people online, because many of those people just do not have the experiences that lead you to really understand this shit and have to push back against concepts of gender that actively harm you as a trans person.

like that’s all i want to be able to say, is Things Are Different For Different Groups. and a willful ignorance of these differences leads to bad rhetoric controlling the overall discourse which gets people hurt. and even when concepts arise from it that seem positive and helpful and inclusive, in practice or in origin those ideas can still be upholding shit that gets other people hurt. like, i don’t doubt that many people are very straightforwardly happy and comfortable with an identity like ‘afab nb lesbian on testosterone’ and it would be ridiculous and hypocritical for me, ‘afab nb who wants to pass as a guy so he can comfortably wear skirts again,’ to act like that’s something that can’t or shouldn’t exist. it’s not about the identity itself, it’s about the politics that are popular within its community, and how the use of identities as moral labels with like, fucking pokemon type interactions for oppression effectiveness which directly informs the moral correctness of your every opinion and your very existence, is a shitty practice that gets people hurt and leads us to revoke empathy from each other.

like. sorry this is all over the place and long and probably still sounds evil because i haven’t thought through and disclaimered every single statement. but i’m like exhausted from living with this self-conscious guilt that maybe i’ve turned into a horrible evil truscum misogynist etc etc due to feeling upset by this seemingly inescapable approach to gender in lgbt/online circles that like, actively harms me, because when i vent with my friends all the stuff i’ve tried to explain here gets condensed down to referencing ‘she/theys’ as a category and that feels mean and generalizing and i genuinely dislike generalizations but the dread i feel about that category gets proven right way too often. it’s just like. this is not truscum this is not misgendering this is not misogyny. this is not about me decreeing that all transmascs have to be manly enough or dysphoric enough and all nbs have to be neatly agender and androgynous or something, i’m especially not saying that nb gender isn’t real lmao or even that it’s automatically wrong to partially identify with your asab; this is not me saying you can only medically transition for specific traditional reasons or that you don’t get a say on anything if you aren’t medically transitioning for whatever reason, now or ever. i just. want to be allowed to be frank about how... when there’s different experiences in a community we should like. acknowledge those differences and be willing to say that sometimes people don’t know what they’re talking about or that what they’re saying is harmful. without the primary concern being whether people will feel invalidated by being told so. because these are like, real issues, that are more important than politely including everyone, because that method is just getting vulnerable people drowned out constantly.

[carpathxanridge]

i just remembered something that i want 2 share because it relates to how a gender-based understanding of sexuality is not only illogical but leads to feelings of shame and confusion for ssa people.

in all of my experience of hearing online that lesbians can be attracted to dick, that genital preferences are transphobic, etc. it never personally got to me. that’s not to say that it didn’t make me walk on eggshells with my language, or fear rejection and ostracism from my community... it did. but i guess because the argument that lesbians can/should like dick is so transparently homophobic and comically identical to entitled male lesbophobia and conservative conversion therapy rhetoric, it never really impacted my own understanding of/security in my sexuality. i never for a second bought that not being attracted to dick was a genital fetish.

however, what did impact me was the flip side of this logic: that since trans men aren’t women, including trans men in lesbian sexuality is transphobic. my first relationship was with a trans man, but we started dating when he identified as nonbinary. and there’s a lot of reasons why that relationship fucked me up and was unhealthy, but when he came out as trans i didn’t believe that i’d been in a relationship with a man the whole time, or that either the relationship or my sexual orientation was null. i wouldn’t say it out loud, but i knew that this was true because he was female regardless of his gender identity.

but then over the years, my friends would tease me or side-eye me over that past relationship. at the time, my friend told me that i’d never kissed a girl before, and kind of mocked me for my lack of lesbian experience. and although i kind of agreed that those first kisses didn’t “count” for other personal reasons, i didn’t appreciate the comparison of my traumatizing first relationship with someone who i had a lot of genuine love for, to her differently traumatizing first relationship with a man. because i knew i never would’ve been able to feel that way (as complicated as it was) about a man! and she was projecting her own embarrassment about having been with a man before onto my first literally homosexual relationship in a way that made me very uncomfortable.

and yet even knowing that she was in the wrong and my relationship was not the literal same as dating a man, it still made me feel like crap. like i was somehow even more wrong for how i felt about an experience that already held a lot of baggage. like because my first relationship was deemed nullified, i myself was somehow an embarrassment. and this wasn’t the only time i was made to feel this way. once, i told my friend about how a girl i’d had a huge crush on came out as trans. and he insinuated that i had a fetish for trans guys, saying that it was a “weird pattern.” that made me feel so suddenly ashamed and wrong, in a way that genital fetish accusations never did when they came from the other side. and i also internalized similar sentiments just from being on tumblr. nothing was more transphobic and invalidating than a lesbian saying “i date cis women and trans guys,” and that absolutely couldn’t be me.

so when i developed a crush on a post-t trans guy last year, by then i was like “maybe this is a weird trend.” i knew i couldn’t pursue a relationship with him, because that would be pretty sus, and it was a minor and innocent enough crush that i probably wouldn’t have pursued it either way. but it caused me a lot of confusion and shame, because i just couldn’t make my feelings go away. it was a constant back and forth between berating myself for not perceiving him as male, and convincing myself that maybe i’m actually bisexual. i agonized over whether it counts as misgendering if i just allowed myself to have a crush on him while identifying as a lesbian. any moment as small as him smiling at me and me thinking “cute,” i would later obsess over. i have ocd, so it was very easy for my brain to latch onto this as a point of obsession. (especially because much of my ocd is moral scrupulosity-based, and we all know that the trans community uses a lot of guilt and moral accusation to coerce acceptance of their belief system.)

i think i only just processed exactly how hurtful those experiences were for me, and how much shame it created. it’s one thing to be called an evil pussy-loving dyke for your absence of attraction to men. but to be called a chaser or fetishist for active, present attraction is hard to ignore. just like being attracted to straight girls, when you already know your feelings are likely unwanted it’s even more hurtful to be compared to men’s sexual predation and fetishism. but being attracted to trans men is a perfectly natural expression of lesbian sexuality, and isn’t inherently predatory or wrong. and there are some trans men who feel connected to lesbian sexuality or identify as lesbians. gender identity-based understanding of sexuality invalidates lesbian experience. it is harmful and homophobic! and i won’t be made to feel guilty for my sexuality :)

[reginaldqueribundus]

and now, time for more The Man in the High Castle

(spoilers for season 3)

Kate Hepburn Jr. aka Julianna is now a badass living with her alternate timeline sister

John Smith, President Nazi, lost his son to eugenics but at least they named a school after him

on the bright side his wife is now an alcoholic

Jul’s sister has seizures but is that just her thing or is that to do with the dimension-hopping

Aryan Tom Holland (Jake) just killed a guy with a shovel

Naked Clark Kent (Frank) continues to be dead (good)

Jul is hanging out with Old Japanese Bureaucrat Guy (Tagomi)

where is Dobby?? he is the only one free from sin

Japan is running out of gasoline

I thought they owned Alaska, isn’t Alaska supposed to be full of oil? Isn’t that what George W. Bush was always on about

omg DOBBY IS STILL ALIVE and he’s doing the Breaking Bad thing with the dickhead weeb antiques dealer guy, this is all I could ever want

I’m pretty sure a random cowboy has just mistaken them for a gay couple and is about to propose a threesome

also I hate, hate, HATE the trope where male character goes through a trauma and then hot girl has to have sex with him to heal him with her magic vagina

because men on tv are only allowed to express their emotions through sex and cold-blooded murder amirite fellas

I guess this is the part where Aryan Tom goes fully down the Evil Path™? I seriously hope Jul isn’t going to have to heal him with her vagina or I will roll my eyes so hard

uM WHAT THE FUCK THEY’RE JUST STRAIGHT UP INTRODUCING MULTIVERSE RESEARCH???

that awkward moment when you lose access to your mental health treatment because you accidentally killed the grieving widow of the doctor your husband murdered to protect your son from the eugenics police who then gave himself up to the eugenics police anyway which is why you need the mental health treatment in the first place

including George Lincoln Rockwell is an interesting touch

DOBBY IS GAY??? MY SWEET BEAUTIFUL BOY

ew Hepburn is making out with Aryan Tom

Tom: “it’s just a fucking job it doesn’t define who I am” uhhhh Tom you are literally a Nazi assassin, pretty sure that definitely does define who you are!!! no Kate DON’T KISS HIM GOD DAMN IT

oh GREAT Naked Clark is alive, ugh

(I’m exaggerating my dislike for Clark ofc, he was just the victim of some shitty male writing in seasons 1-2)

me every single time John Smith is onscreen:

ugh I know Julianna has to do it for Spy Purposes™ but does she have to sleep with Jake? he is gross and doesn’t deserve happiness

oh nvm she killed him go Julianna

*Sans voice* you feel your sins crawling on your back

also Smith’s wife is boning her therapist. good for her

my favourite point in antiques dealer Robert’s character arc is when he gets his ass beat and wanders through his old shop picking up everything that belongs to him

OH MY GOD TAGOMI IS A FUCKING BADASS WHO JUST CRUSHED A NAZI’S THROAT WITH A STICK

if anything happens to this wonderful old man I will personally kill Jeff Bezos

now Juliana and her new Irish friend are going to go blow up the Nazis’ multiverse portal

also wanted to point out some atrocious editing in the lesbian bar scene, we can clearly see the bartender’s mouth doesn’t move but her voice just comes out of thin air and asks them what they want

aw yeah fuckin get it Tagomi-san

yes this show is very depressing but every once in awhile they’ll throw me a bone and a violent anti-semite will get shot in the face so that’s nice

so recently a blog called @frankfrinkstilldeservedbetter followed me and uhhh wow they sure are right about that

I have to say they did a great job with the story and the mechanics of the whole “traveling” thing, which I don’t think was in the book?

but in conclusion John Smith get fucked

[the-queer-look]

Couple Theory

Name: Lucy Age: 24 Location: Glebe Occupation: Bush Regenerator Sexual Orientation: Lesbian Gender: Female

Name: Aisling Age: 21 Location: Glebe Occupation: Customer Service Sexual Orientation: Queer Gender: Female

Lucy – I feel like I’m still figuring out how I’m comfortable presenting because I didn’t come out till I was twenty, which was quite a time after I realised I was gay at sixteen. When I moved to Sydney I really wanted to show people that I was queer, and with much of my influence being from the internet, I wore a lot of the stereotypical lesbian clothing I saw on there – mostly sporty sorts of clothing – but as I’ve gone through, whenever I find something that I don’t hate myself in I wear it over and over again until something new comes along. Recently I’ve been vibing with the look of boots, singlet tops, and making my tattoos very visible. I make myself look somewhat unapproachable with my resting face being a frown, and my outfits being if not aggressive, then non-welcoming, but if people do actually come up to me I really want people to like me, so it all falls away.

Aisling – My daily presentation is just the easy T-shirts and jeans, lots of bouldering merch, maybe a button up if I’m being a little fancy, just a classic chapstick lesbian.

Lucy – Where did your inspo for that come from?

Aisling – What? Jeans and a shirt? Does that need inspiration? I guess I tuck my shirt in to make sure its queer? I have a lot of Vans, and a milk crate full of socks I guess. I used to save up money when I was in high school to put towards my first pair of Vans and I was so excited. I think I have twenty pairs now? Lots of converse, runners, and climbing shoes as well. Colourful socks and shoes are my thing I guess.

Lucy – I remember I was sixteen when I realised I liked girls, but I don’t know what triggered it. I think it was something on TV? I think it was an NCIS episode and they had a really awful portrayal of lesbians, who were identified as gay because at the end of the episode they held hands, and that triggered some kind of twinge in my chest that I’d never felt before.

Ailing – That was your gay bone

Lucy – My gay bone?

K – Yeah, your sternum is your gay bone

Ailing – I’ve torn that twice from being too gay

K – you need to remember to stretch before going out and being gay all night.

Lucy – It was a really weird feeling, I didn’t know what it was. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I went and found out about the episode, and it was of course one of those “oh no homosexuals are evil” sorts of plots. I think that negative portrayal contributed to my negative feelings about being gay, and being so scared to come out. I don’t know where else that would have come from because my parents never expressed any opinion about homosexuality. Those feelings were confirmed when I had my first crush on a girl in my school. I was nauseous more than anything when I realised it, and I just ignored that feeling for years which isn’t healthy. What helped me overcome it though, as I’m sure helped a lot of people from small towns with not much queer representation was the internet, and YouTubers, The Legend of Korra, and Tumblr. (The ending of Legend of Korra) was ust so beautiful, and so revolutionary as well. I remember seeing the ship of Korra and Asami come up on my tumblr, but it was years before the end fo the show, when it actually happened. I remember watching it on a family holiday trip and had to leave the dining table and I was shaking and crying because it was such a huge, beautiful moment that was probably one of the most significant moments of accepting myself. Looking back I definitely associate that final image of them holding hands before going to the spirit world together with my final stage of accepting who I am.

Moving to Sydney was my time to finally come out and explore. I came out to one of my Canadian exchange friends who was here, and they took me to Birdcage (lesbian nightclub in Sydney) where I met some of my friends. My first time in a queer club was like being surrounded by a family who I felt like I knew even though I hadn’t met any of them. That was also the year that the marriage equality vote was passed, So I took that opportunity to find out what my parents thought about homosexuality by asking them what they were voting for. They both said they were voting yes, which made me feel comfortable enough to come out to them the next week.

I’m still learning what are the most appropriate ways to describe myself and my relationship with myself, and how to present myself to the world. The more I learn, the more I will change the way I present myself, and there is a lot more of myself to explore.

Aisling – I think I was around thirteen or fourteen when I saw the show “faking it” - a show about a girl in high school figuring out her sexuality – and I just noticed that I was relating to every situation that the character was going through, and suddenly realised I was questioning my sexuality. I mentioned it to one of my friends that I used to walk to school with, and she would just keep egging me on with “come on just say it, just say you’re gay its fine”. I came out to her as bi at one stage, but I didn’t like that term, I didn’t like the term lesbian either, and still don’t, I prefer to think of myself as queer, or just gay.

When I actually came out two or so years later, I remember telling my close friend group that I was bi… and then later that week just said “nah I’m gay actually”. It was about 7:30pm, on a Wednesday night, after basketball, in the shower talking to myself saying “im gonna do this, im gonna do this”. Just me and my dad home, I psyched myself up for ages and then walked in and out of the kitchen about five times before going “Dad, I have something to tell you” sweating bullets “Dad, I’m gay la di da.”

Lucy – La di da?

Aisling – yes, Father, it’s la di da for me I’m afraid

Lucy – please put my sexuality down as la di da

Aisling – The first thing he said to me was “yeah I always thought you had a bigger obsession with the female tennis players than the men.” and yeah damn he had me there. I hate that I remember the day and everything… like the first of September 2016?

I moved out from my mum to my dad’s mostly because my mum’s partner at the time was very homophobic, and any dinner conversation would turn to him deriding gay marriage, or coming out with some racist shit. Eventually I decided “this bothers me too much, I’m going to have to say something” and it was… really upsetting when he didn’t agree. So of course I came out to my dad first and made him tell mum, which was then an interesting conversation…

“Your father tells me you’ve told him you’re gay?”

“yep, that’s it”

She contacted my school supervisor that night and told all of my teachers to look out for any homophobic acts towards me, letting them know that I was gay and to look out for me.

Lucy – I feel like together we tick a lot of stereotypes

Aisling – We really do

Lucy – We moved in together really quickly

Aisling – We own a cat together

Lucy – Theres that Subaru…

Aisling – I also had a lot of influence from those same queer YouTubers, and seeing their coming out videos and how free they felt afterwards made me really want to share it.

Immediately after I came out everyone at school was very supportive, like they already knew and assumed I was gay because I was just that sporty chick, so being gay just sorta went with it?

Lucy – I think I looked for validation from my parents. When I came out to mum there was no huge deal made about it, butI think validation from them comes in small snippets. Every time mum sends me something, like recently she arranged her coloured chopping boards into a rainbow and sent me a picture with “these are for you!” it’s very small, but its very significant. When I had a really big hickey on my neck, my dad said

“oh who gave you that on your neck? Does he sleep in a coffin?”

“it was a she actually”

“oh does she sleep in a coffin then?”

he just wanted to channel it into a dad joke, but it was a weird way to come out to him actually.

Aisling – To me the term Queer means “everyone included” even just an ally of the community, or a parent of an LGBT person doing your best to make them feel safe and welcome, you’re welcome in the community you know? By properly supporting something, you become a part of it.

Lucy – For me it’s very similar with those lines of community and family. It can be a label, but I feel that its evolving more into a term that indicates embracing all people. I use it sometimes to refer to a collective group of… well queer people. I refer to my close friends as my queer family.

Aisling – It feels better to use than assuming someone’s sexuality or gender without knowing the specifics.

Lucy – Individually I wouldn’t refer to any of my friends as queer. I know one friend refers to himself specifically as a bisexual, man, rather than a queer person. So I definitely like its a more family, community term, rather than a specific label, though It can still be used as one.

Aisling – I like the term because when I first came out I identified as bi, then gay, then bi, then gay, than they? And it feels more appropriate to use for myself because I’m still working it out, and it can cover a lot. For example I don’t think of myself as completely feminine, but I also don’t like the term non-binary to refer to myself, but the idea of “They” still, rather than just being she/her, I like the idea of she/they. And referring to myself as queer feels more of an accurate description.

Lucy – Ever since moving to Sydney and coming out and going to that first club night I’ve always thrown myself into as many queer events as I possibly could. I want to be able to contribute more to the community rather than just be involved in it, a lot of my friends are very engaged in the queer community, and I feel like I don’t have that level of involvement. I love that I’m never scared or intimidated to go to queer events, by myself or with my friends. Whilst I feel very connected to the queer community, I wish I could be more involved. I’m scared that since my friend group is all finishing university and looking to the future, that I’ll lose that sense of connection as everyone moves away, even though I’m sure we’ll all stay in touch.

Aisling – I feel little to no involvement in the queer community at the moment because I’m focusing so hard on my training. I’m involved with Queer Climbers Sydney though, and am looking to get more involved in the future, as soon as I have the time to do stuff.

Lucy – Challenges facing the queer community here isn Sydney… I feel like we need to create a wider variety of safer spaces in more areas. There’re certain areas of Sydney where queer people I know just don’t feel as comfortable. And the ones we do have are always pubs and clubs. Not to detract from queer nightlife; but having so much of queer culture based around adult only areas reinforces the idea that being gay, or trans, or whatever is an adult thing, and makes it easier for people to excuse restricting education about it to kids, which can be so harmful growing up and not having the education to understand yourself.

Aisling – I feel like theres more acceptance towards gay, lesbian, and bi people. But there’s less of an acceptance of trans people, like they can understand being gay, but they cant seem to understand what a trans person even is, much less how to approach them. Probably need more education about it in schools. More comprehensive sex ed instead of just how to put a condom on a fucking banana.

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please contact us if you would like to be involved

[cariiibaez]

Not my photo.

I was wondering what is it like to love someone & have a partner ?

I am a highly sensitive person so I am very shy & sensitive. I sometimes am clumsy and not very good to feel or say if I like someone. I had two guys liked me but I never knew they may liked me but they were my friends who I talked to. I am 25 years old. I wish some day I get to know what is love in a partner. I am traumatized because one time there was a guy who was very mean to me. I am Catholic and he was unpleasantly. He said I should just become a nun because of my religious standards. Now, when I see pictures of nuns in the internet, my mind get obsessed of those pictures. I don’t know how to take it off. I am traumatized. I cannot imagine if I am meant to get married or have a marriage someday. I just feel I will be a nun because I don’t have a boyfriend.

So, one time due to these voices. I thought God was actually calling me to be nun. I didn’t know how to stop them. I didn’t know I was stressed. I also completing a certified nurse assistant program in 2018. I met a guy in my algebra course in the community college I am attending. I feel I was depressed but I didn’t know. I started acting all happy and cheerful. I feel I needed friends. He seemed similar to me. One time, he saw me sketching in my paper. He told me not to become a nurse but an interior designer. I didn’t said nothing because my studies in nursing were advanced already. I was too far to change my major. I did liked interior design though. I daydream and can be shy at moments. But that is another story. One day I showed him a photo of my friend from Pakistan and me. I saw that he noticed she was wearing a watch. During that time, he said to me that he was going to buy me a watch so I can wear it when I became a nurse. That was it. When he gave it to me, a Tuesday before Christmas of 2018, I felt him indifferent. I also felt I had an intuition I didn’t wanted it, but I took it. The watch was a gift because he wrapped it in a gift. Now, in January 2019, I showed him how I got my job as a nurse assistant. He didn’t liked the idea I guess. he was indifferent and mean to me. He didn’t seemed to liked me. In January 30, we went to a classical music concert for his music course. I was speaking to him about a book I liked about theology of the body. I think he talked to his dad. I started hearing voices in my head from them calling me bad words and verbally abusing me. They planned to physically abused me through satanically hurting me. They probably wanted me to have sex with him because after that, he started mistreating me. He never asked me about my faith. They just shamed me and called me words like I was ugly and inferior. He even pushed me to other men when we went out like to a whale watch. I didn’t understand how to speak up. Before my birthday March 15, he was going to break up with me. But he said my birthday was important so he reserved a birthday dinner on my birthday and didn’t speak a lot but drove me a long pathway with a lots of trees. I did liked that day. The weather was cool and I liked the view. But after my birthday, he was not my boyfriend anymore. (I remember I gave him a cup of candies & a pillow bear with a letter for him to be my friend. I told him a boyfriend was a friend.) he never called me in the phone or texted me. He was just my friend but not really my friend. Just acquaintance. Not even an acquaintance. I didn’t knew him anymore. He started doing satanic stuff on me. And he broke up with me august 2019. But never left me alone. He dig into my mind and read my brain. I guess he saw a memory of a girl who was not my friend or something and started calling a lesbian. He found her in real life, and he is dating her. Now supposedly he asked her to be a nurse even though she graduated from a culinary program in a community college. I only know that girl can be selfish and self absorbed. She knows that he is hurting me but I hear voices how she said at least she has a boyfriend. And they bullied me doing satanic stuff to me. And I started hearing voices how his dad said I was gold digger. They weren’t smart and just hurt me without mercy. Now 2021, it is like they want to steal my happiness and life. I am not working in the nursing home due for my mental health not doing well. They are evil and doing bad stuff to me. Also, his whole family is atheist. I pray a lot and believe God will win this battle.