#let's not forget that they ignored me while knowing I've been struggling with a broken ankle

[bitchofdarkness]

It's my birthday soon and I have honestly been contemplating to block my entire family everywhere. I kinda don't want them to wish me a happy birthday when all they did was ignore me for the past six months.

Lowkey expecting them to forget to reach out anyways.

[atriza]

The unyielding Cage pt. 5 Yandere Five Hargreeves x Reader

Part 4

Summary: Y/N is still reeling from the brutal punishment inflicted by Five Hargreeves. Days after the event, she remains physically and emotionally broken, with Five constantly watching over her. During a tense encounter, Five reveals that he believes Y/N still doesn’t understand her place and intends to teach her a painful lesson. Ignoring her pleas, Five forcefully restrains her with metal cuffs, leaving her bound in a corner of the room. As hours stretch into eternity, Y/N realizes that Five’s obsessive love has become her prison. Her spirit crushed, she accepts that escape is impossible and begins to search for another solution.

Word Count: 641 words.

**Content Warning:**

This story contains dark and potentially distressing themes, including obsessive behavior, violence, manipulation, and psychological distress. It portrays a relationship that is unhealthy and toxic, where one character exhibits controlling and possessive tendencies that lead to extreme actions.

If you are sensitive to these themes or find them triggering, please consider skipping this story.

Have fun Reading!

Days had passed since the punishment, each one feeling longer and more suffocating than the last. Y/N laid curled up on the bed, her body still aching from Five's brutality. The room, once cold and unwelcoming, now felt like a prison of despair. Her attempts to recover had been futile- Five's meticulous care ensured that she remained under his constant surveillance, her attempts to heal both physically and mentally thwarted.

It was early morning when Five entered the room again, his expression unreadable. He carried a tray of food, but the usual gentleness in his demeanor was replaced by a steely resolve. His gaze was intense, and Y/N could sense that something was different.

,,I brought breakfast," he said, setting the tray down in the small table. " I thought you might be hungry. "

Y/N sat up slowly, her movements stiff and pained. She forced a weak smile, though it didn't reach ger eyes. "Thank you," she muttered, though she had little appetite.

Five watched her with an unsettling calmness, his eyes tracking her every move. "You know Y/N, " he began, his tone deceptively casual," I've been thinking about our situation."

Y/N looked up at him, her heart pounding in her chest. "What do you mean?"

"I think you still don't fully understand your position, " Five said, his voice taking on a darker edge. " You think you can just defy me and face no consequences. But you need to learn that you are mine, and I will do whatever it takes to keep you with me."

His voice send a chill down Y/N's spine. She could sense the underlying threat in his voice, the warning that he was not done making her suffer.

"I'm sorry. " she said, her voice barely above a whisper. " I really am. I just-"

,, I know you're sorry," Five cut her off, his eyes flashing with anger, "But sorry isn't enough. You need to be taught a lesse- one that yiu won't forget."

Before Y/N could react, Five trapped her arm with a vice-like grip and yanked her to her feet. Her injured ankle gave way, and she cried out jn pain, but he ignored her cries. With a firm, unyielding hold, he led her to the clever of the room where a metal restraint was attached to the wall.

Y/N's eyes widen in terror as she realised what was happening. "Five, no! Please, don't-"

But he was relentless. He fastened her wrists into the metal cuffs, securing them tightly. The cold, unyielding metal hit into her skin, and she winced as the pressure mounted. Five’s expression was one of grim determination.

"Thus us for your own good," he said, his voice cold. " You need to understand that disobedience has real consequences. "

Y/N struggled against the restraints, her heart pounding with fear. :?" Five, please- let me go! I'll do anything, just dont-"

He ignored her pleas, stepping back ro admire his work. " You're going to stay here for a while. Maybe if you have some time to think about your actions, you'll comment to see things my way."

With that, he turned and left the room, locking the door behind him. Y/N was left alone, the cold metal digging into her skin, her body shaking with fear and pain.

The minutes stretched into hours as she hung there, her arms growing numb, her muscles aching. The isolation and the physical discomfort were overwhelming. She tried to focus on any way to free herself, but the restraints were too tight, themetall unyielding.

Despair settled in as the hours wore on, Y/N's thoughts spiraling into a dark place. She was utterly aline, her attempts at escape thwarted, her freedom a distant, unreachable dream. The sense of betrayal, the depth of Five's Obsession, and the relentless punishment all combined into a crushing realization: she was trapped in an unbreakable cage of his making.

As the day turned night, the shadows in the room seemed ro grow longer and more menacing. The only sound was the occasional creak of the house and the distant hum of the outside world, a reminder of the freedom she once had and could no longer reach.

Fives punishment had left Y/N not just physically bound, but emotionally and psychologically imprisoned as well. Her hopes had been shattered, replaced by the acceptance of her fate. In the darkness of the room, as her body ached and her spirit waned, Y/N understood that Five’s love had become her unyielding cage- one from which there was no escape.

She needed a fast solution.

[ivyblossom]

Hi m'lovely, I hope you're doing well! It's so nice seeing you around here again <3

I've been meaning to ask you for a while if you'd be willing to talk more about the prompts (voice assistant and other) that you've mentioned setting up to help with your ADHD? I've tried to do similar things myself, like buying smart lightbulbs set to turn off at 11 and remind me to go to bed, but I still find I have a tendency to ignore them or for them to stop being helpful if my schedule changes at all. How do you make yourself stick to prompts that are easy to ignore?

@glitterarygetsit! Beloved! Most delightful of humans!

Yes, I hear you, I have this problem as well. Once routines become routine, they get easier to ignore or work around. I have not solved that yet, not completely, but I have a few suggestions.

The first thing is to think of future yourself as a beautiful puppy just here to have a good time. We don't want to hurt the puppy! The puppy is not being naughty on purpose, puppies are going to puppy, that's all! We embrace the puppy. But the puppy is stubborn and is really focused on having a good time, so we need to insert a variety of nudges leading to the key result.

When's bedtime? Are you switching the lights off at 11 beacuse you want to go to bed at 11? Your environmental nudges need to start quite a lot earlier, because the puppy is not paying attention and wants to keep playing puppy games. When the lights go off, the puppy can just switch them back on again.

Maybe it's better to think about the environmental controls as a way to indicating the passage of time more than just a message that means "go to bed". I need a variety of prompts to remind me that it's getting late, and I need them all. Your lights switching off, your audio signals, aren't just telling you to go to bed. They are interrupting what you're doing. One of the reasons we struggle to stop one activity and pick up a different one is because we are hyperfocused. Once you break the hyperfocus, you can make a different choice. Without it broken, you're stuck in a loop even if you want to get up and go to bed.

I also would like to be in bed at 11, so my nudges start at 9pm. I have the lights go off in succession: first one, then another, until there's just one left. When the first one goes off, I think, oh, it's getting towards time. Well, okay, but I want to do this other thing first. And then the second one goes. Oh boy, soon I'm going to be sitting in a dark room. Better finish this thing off. At 9am, I also have a bedtime playlist start to play. I almost never listen to it, but if I want to shut it off, I have to stop and do that.

I also follow that up with a series of other good ideas. Why not make yourself a night cap? (I make a lavender latte at bedtime.) What's for dinner tomorrow? What are you wearing tomorrow? lay out your clothes! Here's tomorrow's weather forecast! Have you washed your face? You know what would be nice right now? Wearing pajamas!

These prompts are things I would like it if I did, but they're also interruptions. I'm basically annoying myself out of whatever hyperfocus I'm in.

But also: let's not forget pleasure! The puppy likes things! That's why I introduced the night cap. When I remind myself that I could make myself one right now, sometimes it truly does tempt me, and then I'm in the routine loop. Add lovely things to your routine and treat yourself to them. Appealing things are easier to get yourself to do.

I create routines in strings, so I can adjust the timing on them pretty easily, I just adjust the start time. I do that more in the mornings than the evenings.

I think we probably need to schedule times to adjust the routine, or add fun new things to it. The best addition I've made to a routine recently is to start my morning one 10 minutes earlier and have the speaker tell me I can ignore it for 10 minutes. Strangely enough, that really helped.

Anyone else have suggestions?

I love you, @glitterarygetsit!

[creune]

I have come to face a realization from an extremely strange source about the world we live in, the media being created around us

So get ready for a nonsense, all over the place rant, while I'm feeling woozy af and forgetting where I'm going with most of my thoughts

Let's go

So, I was browsing YouTube as usual when I'm procrastinating, when I decided to click on a specific video. Nothing special, a horror game story analysis and explanation, basically a summary of what happens. I watch those sometimes to get a grasp for a game or just don't feel like sitting through hours of playthroughs

The game in question? My friendly neighborhood

Spoilers for the game from this point on btw. I don't know how to use the site to tag properly but you've been warned

I've seen it float around, watched some gameplay of it when the demo came out

Seemed like the usual mascot horror. You know the type. Dead people, creepy toys coming to life, trying to survive them etc. So at first I was just like "did the kids or crew get to possess the puppets this time"

But it wasn't anything like that

The puppets are alive. Not in a possession way, but just, living creatures with thoughts and feelings and ideas. That was the first thing that caught my attention. "No dead kids in a mascot horror game? That's new" I thought. So I kept watching the summary and the more information got revealed the more I realized something

This game wanted to say something

And say it did

Through the use of the horror genre, it didn't just subvert expectations from a story perspective, it made it's own stand, it said something it wanted to

Not about how people and workplaces are horrible, how murdered people seek revenge, not about a hopeless escape or a struggle for survival

It said something that I haven't seen in horror games in so long

It said something about hope

It said something about kindness

It said something about how, if people can learn to be good again, hopeful again, to smile again, we could be happier

And, for me, it was shocking, coming from a mascot horror game

And then, I scrolled through YouTube again, and saw the same thing that happened on the tv on My friendly neighborhood

Negativity, bad news, hopeless outlooks and searching for the bad in everything

Admittedly, I know that's probably my fault, cause the algorithm works like that

But considering how most of those, I had no previous interest in, how those came from other corners of YouTube

I can make a safe assumption that that happens to a lot more viewers than not

And not just that

Every time I scroll down the Google news thingy, even if I'm only ever clicking on memes or gaming news, it's still full of the negative, hopeless gunk that at this point I just ignore and scroll past

Only for those to pop back again and again, from different sites

I stopped scrolling through news for that reason

And even in films and shows

The very things that supposed to provide us with escapism

They show broken worlds, hateful people

I cannot for the life of me watch an "adult" film or show anymore

I couldn't put my finger on it for years, until this game made me realize how much of what I have watched showed the broken world, leaving bitter people that rely on themselves and push everyone away as a "good" thing

How a lot of them showed that caring for another is stupid and pointless because you will always be betrayed by those you love

How the world cannot and will not help you, even if you cry and beg for a sliver of help

A sign of hope

Call me childish, but when I want to have fun, my idea isn't to watch another fucked up world fucking up people. If I want to see that, I can look out my window. I can stare my family in the face, to feel utter hopeleness and loneliness in a broken world, as I know they will never love me as I am

So yeah

I stopped watching that too

But the negativity is inherently in everything nowadays

Every day, there's new YouTube drama in my feed, there's a new show about an unwinnable fight where you should give up and learn to leaver everyone behind, where you have to be afraid of everyone's intentions, a new person "proving" that there is no goodness left in humans

But then comes My friendly neighborhood, and says "you know what? Screw you. We can scare you without making you feel hopeless for the future of humanity. We can show you, that even in a broken world, there is hope and kindness and that's what makes people happy and good and life worth living" and it's completely right

I don't live when I'm just surviving on junk

I live when I see my partner smile, when I see my gush about his training, when I read the snippets of a book my friend is writing. I live when I tell them how proud I am, when I help them carry a bag, when I tell a joke to brighten their mood. I live when I am kind. I live when I am in a community, when I give help, and when I know I can ask for it when I need it

I live when I'm playing overdramatic to make people laugh, because their laughter gives me hope, and brings light into a world with barely any left. And that's what makes life worth it

Not sitting alone and wondering what xyz's intentions are when they offered to give you a ride hope, not being wary of the stranger who said "have a nice day", not consuming media that makes me feel alone and untrusting, not when seeing how people "turned bad", not when I hear news of the world rotting

Those have made me the farthest thing from alive

Those have made me think "I should always avoid people, just in case", "I should learn how to beat people up, just in case", "I should never say a word about anything, just in case someone will backstab me" or on worse days "According to these facts, if I stopped existing, it would be better"

Not exactly the best things to think, when you always hear about how one product in your house is inherently evil or how you not screaming on the streets and getting shot for something you believe in is "not enough", or just constantly hearing how everyone else is horrible

How the girl wearing makeup is a bitch

How that boy with muscles is an asshole

How those people playing card games are useless gamblers or gatekeeping assholes, depending on the game

How that chick is a golddigger for sure and how that guy is also one

Without ever getting to know any of them

Because that's what we're being shown

I bet you've had specific images of people you have seen on tv pop up in every single example

That when you look at people on the street, you put them into these categories yourself

I can't blame you

That's what you're given by everything around you

But don't forget to get to know them, before you truly make a judgement call, okay?

Because maybe that person just needs someone to talk to

Or maybe they're going through stuff you'll never imagine

Or you might be right

But you will never know

And trust me, talking to people with kindness, making them smile, it will guarantee that the world, even if just for a second, is a brighter place

And if you are kind to someone, they will probably also be kind to others. Or they will learn with time, when the world is too kind for them to remain an asshole. When they will feel out of place for being a jerk or being called out for constantly bringing others down

With kindness, there is strength needed, and not just physical

And I think My friendly neighborhood expresses that element nicely

Gordon is a war veteran, what he's carrying is not easy to face, yet when he can help those around him, when he helps the puppets, he has to look his past in the eyes and say "it will be alright, I know what it's like". Of course he isn't healed magically, but it shows a strength needed to be kind to those who need it

And I love that in the game

It does something that many don't dare anymore

It dares to show hope

You know, it ironically reminded me of dark souls

Now, stay with me here

Game is known for difficult boss fights and minmaxers and memes, right?

Cause I never hear anyone really discuss its themes or a critical element, the very reason why the game is even possible

Hope

The game shows the power, the will, the strength needed to chase for a sliver of hope that the world can get better

In the world of tragedies and monsters and dying and undeath, the game always tells you, that you never truly turn into a murderous zombie, as long as you have a will strong enough to hold onto your humanity. The hope that you might be someone to keep the fires burning. Because wether that's a good thing or bad, is not the point of that strength. You don't fight for the "good" or "right" thing. Most don't even care. Because what matters is that you, and by extension, your character, has a strong enough will to hold on till the end, a reason to keep on fighting

For another example of this, look at Solaire, who as far as I know, is a fan favorite. He is the definition of kindness, of hope, of always looking for the light, literally or figuratively

It of course is set in a world where you can't trust everyone, like patches. But it also shows the beauty of the world, the good, the things worth fighting for

My friendly neighborhood does something similar, but in a more clear and hopefully way

Of saying that the world itself can heal if people learn to be kind again

And I think that's beautiful

And something we have so little of anymore

In a world where even our media is growing hopeless and bleak, a horror game of all things, giving hope for a better world, for living happy, for trusting in people yet again

It's truly inspiring

I just wish we had more hopeful things like that in every corner of the internet, of gaming, of tv, of the world itself

No one wants to die a bitter, old person

And the knowledge that we don't have to, is the truest power we have against it

Have hope y'all

Be kind

Learn to love instead of hate

It will get you to a happier place in life

And happy is one of the best things you can be

[shortpplfedup]

I've been struggling since Saturday to make my thoughts about the episode cohere into a single whole, but this ep made me think about...FEEL about so many different things, so I think I have to approach it differently. I had so many scattered thoughts; on gratitude and guilt, the nature of forgiveness, and the mess that is Kinn and Porsche's feelings.

It's important to understand two things:

Porsche has never been in love. He is having these feelings for the first time, in the middle of an intense, crazy and turbulent period when his life has literally been upended. And he has no frame of reference to organise his feelings, no way to put them in perspective, and nobody he can talk to about them. I'm amazed he can remain upright far less process it all. And Kinn doesn't make it easy for him at all. He gives mixed signals. He kisses him. He takes care of him. He seeks him out. He crosses lines with him. But he also punishes him. He scolds him. He ignores him. He casts him out. But then he shows up at Porsche's door and demands that he come 'home'...to him.

Kinn has loved, but that love was betrayed. He knows what it is to soar, to feel like the luckiest person in the world, and then to have his heart broken, the pain and despair of it. And he closed away that part of himself, only Porsche has ripped the door to that room right off its hinges. Porsche drives him CRAZY, in good and bad ways. He's feeling old feelings and new ones, complicated by the relative positions of he and Porsche in the firmament of his life. And he doesn't understand why he feels this way, and he also has nobody to talk to about it.

They can't understand each other, they can barely understand themselves. And yet, there is something there that has hit them both like a freight train. Kinn and Porsche are fighting private wars within themselves, struggling to understand what this THING between them is. And now they're marooned together, bound together, unable to escape. The world is gone, it's just them. And they say and do things when they're in that time out of time, that place outside of the world. They exposed parts of themselves to each other and even if they tuck those bits back away they will never forget what they looked like emotionally naked. And when they thought it was goodbye, they said and did things that they are going to have to face now.

When you think you are saying goodbye, you will let yourself indulge your feelings to some extent because you won't have to deal with the aftermath of that. In kdrama they always put 'sorry' and 'thankful' together. Thank you for all you do. I'm sorry for all I'm not. Gratitude and guilt. That final scene, was that idea writ large. Porsche and Kinn had been through this ordeal together, trauma bonded in some way, and thought they would never see each other again. Now that that isn't the case they're going to have to deal with the emotional fallout, all that guilt and gratitude, while returning to a situation where all eyes are on them and there are rules and strictures and hierarchies and people to consider other than just themselves. Oh no, nothing is resolved at ALL. The fallout continues, the consequences grow.

On the nature of forgiveness and atonement, I think a lot of people misunderstand it. Forgiveness isn't saying 'it's cool that you did what you did to me'. Atonement isn't saying 'this good I am doing will erase the harm I've done'. It isn't cool, it'll never be cool. A wrong is a wrong and what's done can never be undone. Atonement is saying 'I hope that I can do enough good to dwarf the harm'. Forgiveness is saying 'what you have done to me cannot be undone, but I choose to leave it behind us'. You forgive for yourself, because you choose to be free of whatever anger and sadness and hurt you feel at having been wronged. Forgiveness is a choice and making that choice does not diminish the wrong, it puts it in perspective. Pluto never changes in size, but it's giant compared to a human and minuscule compared to the sun.

So Porsche can forgive (debatable if that is full forgiveness just yet) Kinn what seems so easily because he has wanted to put that night in a perspective. He does not WANT to feel bad about what happened that night. He admits to Kinn that he basically doesn't know how to feel or how to behave around him since then, because a line was crossed, and that line was not just having sex with a man or having it happen while he was drugged, but that man being his employer and also having his feelings be involved. For Porsche sex is casual, the satisfaction of a physical urge. This was in no way casual or it never would've happened. So Porsche has FEELINGS for Kinn, and that complicates his processing of that night. Basically, he was already inclined to forgive if Kinn showed he cared about him. Of all the violations, the worst one for him was Kinn's casting him aside.

Forgiveness is also not just one step, it's a journey. Porsche started on that journey when Kinn showed up at his door; he let him in. And this whole episode is part of the journey of Kinn's atonement and Porsche's forgiveness. And neither journey is completed.

[miraculouscontent]

Hi, Clarity! I want to rant about something that really bugs me. This might be a slightly long message. So I completely undertand if you're busy and don't want to read this. I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time. I know you're very busy!

One thing that's been bugging me for a while is how Marinette has been treated by the fandom post Gang of Secrets. How a susbtantial portion of the Fandom reacted negatively when she told Alya her secret just reveals how much they disregard Marinette and her feelings unless it pertains to Adrien.

Firstly, ever since GOS aired, all I saw was fans attacking Marinette for not telling Cat Noir that she told somone her identity. Everyone was worried about Cat Noir hypothetically being disappointed if he found out. But ironically, no one cared about how liberating it was for Marinette to finally tell someone. Especially since it was killing her inside. No one cared that she was on a verge of a mental breakdown, she suffers from so much anxiety, or the fact that she and Luka got their hearts broken 2 episodes ago. She was so desperate for a very long time that her secret was perniciously killing her on the inside. How much more is she going to suffer? They are angry at Marinette and berate her for not telling their precious glorified sunshine boy. (As if he is entitled to knowing her secret.) Some ignorant fans literally make Marinette's mental health about Adrien, NOT MARINETTE HERSELF. It's HER secret, HER life, HER mental health. HER choice. Like stop making everything about Adrien. This is about Marinette. Not him.

They don't care that Marinette deserves support, or that she needs to catch a break especially since the writers and universe are already tremendously against her. Like let my girl be happy for once. Let her have someone by her side, cover for her, give her solace, and take some weight off her shoulders. No one empathises with Marinette, shows her an ounce of care, or see things from her perspective. Like what do you have against Marinette? That's she's not in love with your favourite sunshine cat boy? What does Marinette do to deserve the hate from the Fandom? They treat her like garbage and do not care about her feelings and mental health, especially in favour of a boy who gets away with all the toxic things he does both by the show and the writers.

Secondly, I've seen a lot of people who actively WANTS Cat Noir to be mad at Ladybug and disappointed that she told someone (as if he is entitled to know her secret himself.) They want him to be cold, mean, and snap at her, and act distant with her. They do not want Cat Noir to understand Ladybug's mental struggles and the burdens she carries as the new guardian, a role that was forcefully given to her without her permission (not to forget the harmful repercussions she will face if she resigns.) As well as her many duties she faces as both her civilian and superhero life. Yes, it's understandable that some fans may want Cat Noir to be a bit disappointed at first. But they do not want him to get over it, empathise with her, see things from her perspective, or understand why she told someone. What's worse is that they don't think broadly. They don't even try to think things holistically, see things from Marinette's shoes, or understand why she made specific choices. It's like they have this mindset that Marinette's value is based on how her decisions affect Cat Noir and Cat Noir only. She's a robot. She is obligated to altruistically do things for everyone else but never do things for her own comfort and happiness.

Certain fans want Cat Noir to be mad at Ladybug because they themselves don't care about Marinette as a person with her own feelings. They only care about Marinette when it comes to Adrien. They make everything about him and never about her. They want Ladybug to have told no one but Cat Noir like he deserves her valuable information like a trophy. Like he's so trustworthy, he should work for the CIA, right? /s

But seriously, fans like these give me serious mysogynistic vibes. And it does not help that the show's horrible writing and it's treatment of Marinette and other female characters perpetuate and strengthen their gate train. They see Marinette as nothing else but Adrien's army candy. Forget her being an awesome, amazing, empowering, strong, and resilient person. Forget her anxiety, stress, and burdens that she has on a daily basis. Forget treating her with respect and dignity.

*Sighs* I know I was really passionate about this and I am sorry. Thank you so much for reading if you've gone this far. I greatly appreciate that you're one of the few who actually stands up for Marinette and gives her the respect and love she deserves!

NO NO, THIS WAS AMAZING TO READ, THANK YOU.

And on this point specifically--

“She's a robot. She is obligated to altruistically do things for everyone else but never do things for her own comfort and happiness.“

THIS FEELS LIKE THEIR EXACT MINDSET.

Like--I get it. Marinette has been the one pushing the identity thing, but it was at the command of Fu+Tikki. She couldn’t do it anymore and broke down because of limitations forced upon her. I don’t expect her to follow every rule because she is not a robot who can follow everything perfectly.

Ugh, and also, I ended up seeing a comic recently that was like--Chat had quit and Marinette was crying about him abandoning her because doesn’t he know what he goes through? But then Plagg snaps at her, starting to destroy everything around them as he throws a tantrum about how hard Chat’s home life is and she has no idea and did she ever ask (for the record, she has asked him what’s wrong in episodes like “Rocketear” - which he rejected - and also in “Collector” when he’s staring sadly at the picture in Gabriel’s office; she’s not supposed to ask about his home life and Chat doesn’t exactly make it obvious; also, idk, did Chat ever ask how hard she had it, or care in “Gamer 2.0″ when Ladybug asked him for advice and he used it as an opportunity to flirt, only noticing her distress mid-battle when she stops talking to him after he’d been goofing off AFTER she’d said that she has things to do??). Plagg also demands that she get Chat back and goes on about “what will Chat do without him” and “what will he do without Chat.”

So basically, Marinette’s problems don’t matter because Chat just has it SO HARD, Marinette has apparently never cared about him and made things “““all about herself,”““ and the only feelings that matter are the two male characters (or Adrien’s feelings and Plagg’s are an extension of that, take your pick), so Marinette needs to cater to them, apologize, and fix everything.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Unexpected Places (Pt. 09 of 11)

Pairing: Ivar the Boneless X Reader/Bjorn X Reader

Word count: 2.6 K

Summary: As a princess, you've lived in a golden cage all your life, always a piece on someone else's game. But everything changed when the Norsemen came crushing down on Wessex, like waves in a violent storm. Their king spared your life and decided to take you with him to his kingdom, in what felt more like a rescue than a kidnapping. There, you were not only confronted with a completely different culture and lifestyle, but also with two of his sons. The oldest one has his eyes set on you, but it's the youngest one, Ivar, who gets who claimed your attention since the first sight. And he seems to have an unnamed interest in you. Of course you hoped whatever that was would pass, but when unexpected feelings start to flow a different way, things begin to change.

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{Vikings Masterlist}

×

Make Me Fly

It has been an interesting week. Bjorn hasn't been around lately, since he and Ragnar are starting to gather people for the next raid. Winter will be over soon enough, and apparently, they start getting ready a long time before sailing. You're trying not to think too much about it, since you know Ivar is going.

But that's an issue for when the winter is over, and it isn't yet, and won't be for quite a while. On Ivar's bed, already dressed for the day, you're kneeled behind him, braiding his hair. You've been sleeping here now, and of course, the news got out, even though you don't really know how. Hvitserk was the first to know, so he told Aslaug and Ubbe. Ragnar found out quickly after, meaning it got to Bjorn's ears as well. Then, you started noticing people staring, and some rumors, according to Helga. You were under Aslaug's protection, but the rumor that you're with Ivar makes people scared of you. You don't mind though, but you still haven't spoken with Ivar about it. You want things to just happen instead of pushing it because of what people are saying.

“There you go.” You say when the braids are done. “I'm getting really good at this.”

Ivar runs his fingers through his hair, tugging on the braids softly. His hair is long now, and he agreed on not cutting it short again. “You're getting great at this.” He says, grabbing your hand and pulling you down again, so you have both your arms around his neck. “I want to show you something today.”

“What?” You ask hands on his chest.

“I'm gonna show you how I ride on the battlefield.” His voice gets a little darker, and you know he's not joking. “I know you've been asking yourself that.”

“I know you can fight.” Getting up from the bed, you move to stand before him. “I just don't know how, but I don't doubt it.”

“We still have some weeks, but I'll be sailing to England again.” Ivar takes his clutch and gets up to his feet. “No need to hide it, I know you're worried.”

“Worried isn't the right word... Maybe anxious.” You start making your way to the door, and Ivar unlocks and pulls it open for you. “I know some people don't come back and I've never been through anything like that. I don't how those who stay deal with the waiting.” You set a comfortable pace, walking side by side with him.

“You'll get used to it. That's the way things have always been here.”

“I know.” When you cross the main hall, you wave at Hvitserk and Ubbe, muttering a ‘hello’ to Bjorn, since you've been trying to ease the ever-growing tension between the two brothers.

Ivar guides you through the city and then through the forest to a wooden structure built among the trees. There are some men around, and the doors are open. You're way too curious about it, but you manage to wait until you reach the building. There are several horses inside, some war equipment and ballistic devices you don't recognize, many shields and swords.

“Storage?” You ask.

“Yes. But that's the only thing that really matters.” He gestures at the very end of the barn, and that's when you see it.

“What's that?” Walking faster, you make your way towards it, ignoring everyone around. You've never seen anything like it. They keep a certain distance from it, you noticed. You wonder how many times they had Ivar yelling at them to stay away from his things.

“It's a war chariot.” He answers as you walk around it, stepping up and inside. “With it, I can march into battle. Lead troops in combat.”

In the center, there's a structure for Ivar to sit, so you walk around it, standing on the edge. You can't help but imagine how it must feel to be in such a position, in the middle of war. “I wish I could see you in action. It must feel like flying.” You expected him to say something, but several seconds go by and you're still in silence, broken only by the low chattering of the men working here. Looking over your shoulder, you spot Ivar still on the ground, looking up at you. “What?” You giggle, turning around.

“Get my chariot ready.” He commands, raising his voice. “Now.”

“You're kidding, right?” You ask, unable to hold back the smile.

Ivar doesn't answer, he just pulls himself to the chariot, taking his place. Everything is done quickly, and once the horse is attached to the chariot, the doors on the back of the barn are pushed open. Ivar is seated on the bench made for him, and you stand on the front, hands tightly holding on the edge.

“Are you ready?” Ivar inquires, and you give him a look over your shoulder, biting your lip.

You've never seen this look on his face. You have seen him smiling many times, but this is different. Ivar looks truly happy, comfortable, secure. Wild, even. And you absolutely love this look on him. “Make me fly.” You mutter, and the moment he moves his arms to whip the horse, you turn around.

Soon enough you find you picked the right word to describe it. Flying. Ivar keeps the horse's pace so fast that it takes your breath away. It's nothing like riding. It's something entirely new. The chariot rocks a little through the woods, but when it reaches a road, the speed only increases, and you're laughing like a little kid. It's just amazing to ride this into battle, and you can only imagine what his enemies feel when they see Ivar on this thing, flying to meet them. They must be terrified. Ivar's reputation is the worst, or the best, depending on the point of view, and men must tremble like leaves at the sight of him.

“You alright there?” He yells above the wind, and you glance at him.

“Never been better!” Assuring him, you focus on the road again, seeing how close you are to Kattegat. “Turn around! Or else we'll enter the town.”

“And what's the problem with that?”

Laughing again, you decide you don't care if he doesn't care. And into the town you go, making people jump out of the way. Nobody dares to say anything though, just making sure to warn those ahead to watch out. The space gets a little narrow, and Ivar starts to struggle a little until he gives up, knocking some stores down and getting some angry yells. You're not really thinking right now, looking down at the people as you pass by, too fast. You can hear his laughter too, filling your ears.

“Ivar!” A different voice reaches you, and as soon as you spot Ragnar riding on your left, Ivar pulls the horse, making it reduce its pace until you stop completely.

“Father. Hi.” He mutters, in that tone that means he did something bad but doesn't care one bit.

“Will you take this thing back? Look at all the mess you two made.” He complains, gesturing at the market place. You give it a quick look, noticing way too many broken things. “Move it around and take the chariot back,” Ragnar says before riding away.

With a dramatic eye roll, Ivar does what he's told, and this time, since he's riding slower, you have your back at the landscape, staring at him instead. “Weren't you seeing where you were going?”

“Of course not.” He snaps back, shrugging his shoulders. “I was too busy looking at you.”

Blushing, you look down, and a rock on the road makes the chariot shake, making you jerk forward, bumping on the support on which Ivar can rest his chest. “Ouch.”

“Come here.” He says, moving back a little. “Good thing you're wearing pants. Sit here.” Raising an eyebrow, you do as he says, bringing one leg over the structure and straddling it. The moment you sit down on it, you feel Ivar's chest pressing against your back. “Better?”

“A little.” You mumble, feeling as his arms surround you, so you place your hands on top of his, holding the halters. “That's nice.” You whisper, the cold air suddenly not bothering you anymore.

“It is.” Ivar let go of the halters, letting it to your control. “I never allowed anyone to do that. And I don't think I ever will.” He whispers in your ear, and you feel a shiver rolling down your spine.

“Really?”

“Really.” He repeats, hands on your hips. “Ever since I started raiding with my father and brothers, I never truly had anyone to come back to.” You feel yourself relax onto him, for a brief moment forgetting you're the one controlling the chariot. “So I need to know if that changed.”

This is important, so you pull the halters, making the horse stop. Once you're motionless, you move to the side and turn your head a little, just enough to look into his eyes. “What exactly are you asking, Ivar?”

He brings a hand to caress your cheek, cold fingertips running through your skin, painfully slow, leaving a trail of fire. “I'm asking if you will be waiting for my return.”

“I–”

“Prince Ivar.” Someone calls, and you're cut short.

“What?” He hisses, as you stand up and move out of the made chair.

“Your father asked us to take your chariot back. He needs to speak with you.”

“Why didn't he said it himself?” Despite being annoyed, Ivar steps out of the chariot, and you do the same. It doesn't go unnoticed that the men don't ride it. They simply pull the horse. It's like an unspoken rule, that doesn't need to be reassured. People just know.

Then, you're left alone in the woods, the sound of the chariot being taken away slowly fading. “Guess we should go now.” You say, but before you give the first step back to Kattegat, Ivar grabs your arm, forcing you to stop and turn to look at him.

“First answer me.” There's insecurity in his voice, fear even. You wonder if this side of Ivar will ever heal. Maybe it won't, but, as long as you're around, you'll do everything you can to make him see that he's not less of a man because of his disability. You know he's still scared that you'll pick Bjorn over him, the reason for the insane jealously going on between the two brothers, but the truth is you already made your choice. And you're not changing your mind.

“Of course I'll wait for you.” You say, not a hint of doubt on your voice. “I'll be on the decks, watching the boats arriving, searching for you among the people.” When Ivar smiles, you do the same, tiptoeing to place a kiss on his cheek. But when you feel his flesh, you're quick to notice you met his lips instead.

At the same time you freeze, you feel your entire body heating up. But then, you're fast to move, a hand coming to cup cheek as the other grabs the hard material of his vest, holding him close. You don't pull away, how could you? Not when you just realized you've been wanting to do this for so long. Smiling a little, you let him deepen the kiss, his free hand on your waist, pressing your body against his even more. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you feel completely inebriated by the warmth of his lips, his taste, everything.

But you still need to breathe, so you're forced to pull away, still standing close to him. You feel your cheeks burning, a smile on your lips that you just can't hold back. “That was something.” You mutter, clearing your throat.

“If I come back from this raid, tell me you'll be mine,” Ivar whispers, and you look up to meet those bright blue eyes once again. “I promise I won't ever take or love another woman.”

There's only one possible answer for this, but the truth is that somehow, you have been his since the beginning, you just didn't know. “You'll be mine, and I'll be yours.” Tiptoeing again, you place a quick kiss on his lips.

“And so it'll be.”

• • •

You both agreed on not letting the word out until after the raids. So, as the days and weeks pass by, you watch as people get ready, and you enjoy the many feasts Ragnar throws, but also the meals you share with the family alone. Hvitserk is the only one who knows about you and Ivar since he got you kissing by Ivar's bedroom door. But he won't tell anyone, or else, you swore to use him as a target to practice with the ax. But you trust him, you know he'll keep the secret as long as you want him to.

Bjorn is struggling. In the beginning, when he found out you were sleeping in Ivar's bedroom, he had this constant angry stare. Now, you're not sure what his plans are, but you know he hasn't given up yet. Ubbe told you that Bjorn still doesn't believe you made up your mind, because to him, it's insane that any woman would prefer Ivar over him. You don't care though. What he thinks doesn't matter. But you do catch him staring, and you're tired of trying not to let Ivar notice. It's almost always useless.

Tonight, it's a goodbye feast. They're sailing first thing tomorrow, many to their deaths, so today, everyone celebrates. You're dressed in a brand new dress, with the necklace Ivar gave you, as well as rings and earrings that we're also gifts from him. You're happy tonight, despite the anxiety building up in your chest.

“So. Do you want anything from your homeland?” Ivar asks, his mouth close to your ear to make himself heard above all the noise.

“I want you.” You answer, stealing a chicken wing from his plate and taking a bite. Ivar looks at you with an annoyed stare, eyes rolling at your audacity.

“You already have me.” He simply answers.

“Are you guys serious?” Hvitserk complains, dropping to the bench beside you. “If I ever fall in love and start acting like this, I give you both permission to punch me in the face.”

“You know I'll never forget this, right?.” You tell him, an arm around his shoulders. “I have a good memory, my friend.”

“You'll regret saying that,” Ivar warns him, and you giggle.

The night was long, but it ended too soon. You were awakened before the sun, so you could help Ivar with the last preparations. You did you're best not to look worried, but right now, walking next to him to the boat, you have to clench your hands into fists so nobody will see them shaking.

“That's it.” He says, turning to look at you. “Don't worry too much. I'll come back.”

“I know, Ivar the Boneless.” Some people pass by, so you look down at your feet. “Just be careful, alright?”

“I will.”

“Alright.” You know you've been keeping this a secret until he's back, but right now, it doesn't matter. Standing on your toes, you kiss him, slow and passionately, not minding the many eyes on both of you. It just doesn't matter. Pulling away, you smile, hoping this won't be the last kiss.

“So much for keeping a secret.” He says, smirking.

“Shut up.” You mutter, resting your head on his chest. “Just remember I'll be waiting.”

“I will,” Ivar says in a low voice, and with one more kiss, you let him get in the boat, making your way back to the decks, standing next to Aslaug.

The Queen has a look on her face, and you know she saw the kiss.

“Won't you say anything?” You mutter, feeling your cheeks burning.

“No.” She smiles, glancing at you. “I just think it'll be a long summer. For both of you.”

And, of course, Queen Aslaug was right.

×

@multific @revolution-starter @crackhead1-800 @youbloodymadgenius @clown-boyyy @kitten0394 @castielsangelx-blog @goldlion07 @midnightmystic @readsalot73 @xvxcarolinexvx @momowhoo @fangfoxy @msrawog @walkingonshunshine @alytavzla @anotherfan07 @heavenly1927 @msrawog @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom

[cipher-fresh]

Sound of fire wip?

👀👀👀👀

SPILL

this has been in my inbox for an embarrassingly long time but i wouldnt outright forget an opportunity to talk about my story, here we go!

The spinning dancers in elegant dresses were in perfect, dizzying formation, as high notes from instruments Vinra had never heard before were played to perfection by the orchestra.

Gorgeously carved brown walls, small lights dangling from the cathedral of a ceiling, Vinra would have stopped to say hi, or appreciate the music, as professionally trained musicians hardly visited small lakeside villages, and Baruma was hardly the first place on anyone's itinerary on a tour of the kingdom of Parvinos. But he had no time, as he was sure Alexis had already realized he was missing.

He tugged at his waistcoat, hands in pockets, he took one out to wave at a dancer who smiled at him, then was swirled into the hands of another dance, and he did a full spin, then his hands were let go and the picturesque choreography of dancers picking up new partners continued.

"Arquiel!"

It came from behind him. That was his cue to start running. Taking off as fast as he could, Vinra weaved through the dancers, people dipping their partners and dresses spinning in dance. Alexis would struggle with his other half not here, but Vinra wasn't out of the woods- well, er, ornate castle yet.

Taking a sharp left, Vinra pushed through big doors to a hallway, and tried to center his thoughts. Kannon must be somewh-

Yes, he was somewhere. But the taste of Kannon's 180 and betrayal still tasted coppery in Vinra's mouth. He'd have to get back home on his own. Yeah. Sure. Great. Getting out of the castle was the priority- as long as he didn't summon any fire, he would look like any other boy of the kingdom. He'd stick to the streets, find the railroad home, and....

Well, he'd get there when he got there. Running down the hallway, he opened another pair of doors to a similar, smaller ballroom, he tried to ignore the heads turning as he bobbed through the dancers, careful to knock nobody over.

Through another pair of doors, and ahead of him? Kannon. Vinra's eyes widened in delayed shock, then he turned around, and the doors had swung closed.

"Vinra! Wait, please!"

He could have pushed through the doors. He could have shot fire at him, he could have screamed, hid, run,

but it was still Kannon.

He put his arm up, almost as if to fend him off, but awkwardly holding up his arm and his hand to Kannon's face wasn't all that intimidating, so he put it down.

"Talk. Now." Vinra pleaded.

Kannon shifted on his feet, and flexed his fingers. Vinra could tell he was trying to not reach for his dagger, to give him every benefit of the doubt.

A straggled breath from trying to run after him, and he said, "I'm- I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't, I didn't want this."

"Nobody knew what you wanted." said Vinra, with enough venom to kill an Aein. "I didn't- we didn't know you at all."

Kannon looked genuinely hurt.

"I do admit it was fake, at first. Our friendship. But then it was real, and it meant the world to me. You were real, and you, like, knew the world. I actually felt so glad when I saw you, my smiles were real, I would wake up happy. I would think about you when you weren't there. You trusted me, and you shouldn't have. Being your friend was the best thing I've ever felt. And I know I violated your trust, and, uh, I shouldn't have. I should've told you when I first saw you. But what we had wasn't fake- took me a while to realize that."

He was rambling, but it felt honest. Genuine. Kannon took his hands to his folded arms and pressed his nails into his skin.

Vinra let him finish, and Kannon hung his head in shame.

After a moment, Vinra spoke.

"You have...no idea, how badly I want to believe you. I do want my best friend back. But I don't know how I can trust you."

Vinra could tell he'd broken Kannon's spirit into pieces.

"You don't have to believe me. I'll help you get out of the castle. And, you never have to see me again after this." Kannon said.

Several things at once processing, Vinra took a breath, and decided to roll the dice.

"Let's get out of this castle. Alexis wants to get you just as badly as me. We are gonna talk about this later."

[jjmaebank]

JJ Maybank - She Will Be Loved

A/N: This is based off the song She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5, I hope its okay I'm still trying to get back into the groove of writing again ://

I RECOMMEND LISTENING TO THE ACOUSTIC VERSION WHILE READING

Warnings: mentions of an emotionally abusive relationship, a lot of talk about struggling with self love and body image

Words: 1.9k

masterlist

+

Beauty queen of only eighteen she Had some trouble with herself

You were the most beautiful thing JJ had ever seen. He could stare at you all day. The way your hair flowed so perfectly in the wind on the HMS Pogue; the way your eyes glistened and lit up when you talked about something you were passionate about; the way you played with your fingers or chewed the inside of your cheek when you were nervous. He loved your laugh, oh how he loved it. He could be having the worst day, have got in a bad fight with his dad and your laugh would make him forget all about it. That's why he was always trying to be funny and cracking jokes; he wanted the satisfaction of knowing it was him who caused that beautiful sound.

So he never understood why you were so insecure, so broken. He noticed the way you looked at yourself, talked about yourself even, like you were worthless...and it broke his heart. You would always play it off as a joke every time you made a derogatory comment about your body, but JJ knew you better than that. He could see right through your facade that masked how fragile you really were.

He was always there to help her, she Always belonged to someone else

So JJ made it his job, his mission even, to be there to make you see just how special you really were. Every time you insulted yourself using a joke, he wouldn't laugh, instead he would tell you just how wrong you were. You wouldn't know how to respond to his plethora of compliments, all you could do was blush and look down at the ground, telling him to stop spurting nonsense.

But JJ wouldn't give up, he just wanted to make you feel beautiful, he wanted you to see yourself the way he saw you...absolutely gorgeous, inside and out. Oh how he longed to be able to call you his, there was nothing he wanted more.

But he couldn't. You belonged to someone else, Rafe Cameron. He hated that boy, not only for the way he treated the pogues but for the way he treated you. He knew Rafe planted these self-depreciating thoughts in your head; it was no coincidence that they'd started when you began going out with him. JJ just couldn't wrap his head around why you were with him, he couldn't fathom why someone as kind and gentle as you would want to be with someone as monstrous and selfish as him.

The truth was you were afraid that you weren't capable of being loved and thought that Rafe was all you were going to get. You were as in love with JJ as he was with you of course, but you'd convinced yourself he could never feel the same way, ignoring the blatant signs that you were wrong. Yes, Rafe caused a huge strain on your mental health, constantly reminding you what was wrong with you, but he said those things because he loved you. Or that was what you convinced yourself. He just wanted you to be the best version of yourself right?

You were so scared of solitude, of being alone for the rest of your life as you watched JJ fall in love with someone else that you were oblivious to the fact that this was in fact JJ's reality. He had to watch the girl he loved convince herself that a boy who made her feel worthless was all she deserved.

You would get into fights about it...all the time. JJ just couldn't bear the fact you were with him. He'd end up yelling at you for being so naive as to think what you had with Rafe was actual love.

"Can't you see he doesn't love you (Y/N)?" He pleaded, his voice cracking.

"You're wrong...he's the only one that does," you whispered sadly.

Those words were enough to break him. All JJ could do was stand there and look at you in complete disbelief, and so he stormed out of your house leaving you in tears.

I drove for miles and miles and wound up At your door I've had you so many times but somehow I want more

It had been a week since you and JJ last spoke, since he stormed out of your house. JJ was driving around The Cut after getting into a fight with his dad and receiving another beating. But the pain from his fresh bruises was nothing compared to the pain in his heart every time he thought about you, which was every damn second.

All JJ could think about whilst driving about in the rain aimlessly was how close you two were, how much you meant to him and how this week without you had felt like a year. He had you, you were his best friend, but he wanted more...and he couldn't keep it to himself anymore. He'd spent too long keeping it a secret and all for you to wind up with someone who didn't deserve you. Hell, JJ didn't even feel he deserved you, but he wound up at your door in the middle of the night anyway.

I don't mind spendin' everyday Out on your corner in the pourin' rain Look for the girl with the broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

He could feel his heart beating out of his chest as he stepped onto your porch. After hesitating for a few moments he finally plucked up the courage to knock on your door. He didn't know what to expect as it probably wasn't the most appropriate time to be confessing his feelings for you, his feelings that he was sure were unrequited.

After receiving no response, JJ decided if he didn't tell you tonight, he wasn't ever going to, so he wasn't leaving. He began to chuck small pebbles at your bedroom window, getting completely soaked from the rain that was pouring down on him. Finally your light turned on. You looked at your window and saw JJ and began to smile. But JJ could see how broken you were, despite being genuinely happy to see him.

You opened your window and shook your head in disbelief at the blond haired boy.

"JJ, what are you doing?" You whisper shouted.

"Can I stay a while? It's wet out here." JJ grinned. You nodded.

You let him in and urged him to tip toe up your stairs as not to wake up your parents who had miraculously slept through his racket. You both sat down on your bed, silence consuming the two of you at first, neither of you daring to speak first.

"I missed you," you whispered.

"Me too,"  he said, smiling through his sigh.

And she will be loved, and she will be loved

JJ took in your appearance, you looked...worse. Your eyes had dark bags underneath them as if you hadn't slept the entire week and they looked bloodshot. Your lips were chapped and broken, a sign that you had been chewing at them more than usual. It broke his heart knowing that your external appearance only showed a fraction of how you felt inside. You needed to be loved, properly loved. Not the love you thought you had with Rafe, but a love only you could bring yourself. You needed to love yourself, and he knew you wouldn't do so without help, his help. So he was going to love you the way you needed to yourself until you could finally see how deserving of it you were.

"(Y/N), I need to tell you something," JJ said gently, gazing into your eyes.

"What is it?" You replied just as gently.

Tap on my window, knock on my door, I Want to make you feel beautiful I know I tend to get so insecure It doesn't matter anymore

"You deserve to be loved," JJ started, causing you to tilt your head in confusion.

"What?" You asked.

"You deserve love, (Y/N)," JJ repeated seriously, never breaking eye contact with you.

"JJ...I-I don't know what you mean, I-I am loved, Rafe-" you stuttered before JJ interrupted you.

"You and I both know Rafe doesn't love you," JJ stated, raising his voice ever so slightly.

You went silent. You did know, you knew it all along but you'd just hoped the day you had to face the reality of it would never come. Rafe never made you feel loved, all he would do was make you hate yourself more and more. Tears began to well up in your eyes as you looked down at your hands, they'd began to shake and you'd started to chew at your bottom lip again, causing it to sting. You felt so unbelievably alone despite the fact that the boy you loved was sat only inches away from you. All you wanted to do was tell him the truth, about how Rafe was simply your attempt to fill the void in your heart, the void caused by the thought of JJ not reciprocating your feelings. This thought that you'd spiralled into a false truth.

"But I do," JJ whispered.

In that moment, it felt as though your heart had leaped out of your chest. Your eyes widened as you looked up from your hands and into JJ's blue eyes. They were full of sincerity, kindness, adoration...and love, genuine love.

"W-what?" You croaked.

"I love you, (Y/N)," JJ repeated, just as sincere as before, "and not in the way I love Pope, or Kie, or John B...I am in love with you (Y/N)."

JJ felt as though a weight the size of his entire body had been lifted from his chest. He stared at you in anticipation, dreading what words might escape your lips, but also excited. You stared at him in shock, not being able to believe what you were hearing. JJ Maybank was in love with you this whole time? How blind could you have been?

"H-how could you love me?" You asked in disbelief.

"Because you're beautiful (Y/N), inside and out. I know you don't see it, but I want to help you see it. I wanna make you feel beautiful. I don't care what it takes, hell I stood outside your house in the pouring rain throwing pebbles at your window so I could tell you this!" JJ gushed, cupping your face instinctively so you would look him in the eye.

You'd never felt more special, more meaningful, more loved. You let a tear slip down your cheek. You were crying, but for the first time in forever they were tears of happiness. JJ tenderly wiped your tears with his thumb as you looked up at him.

"I love you too, JJ Maybank," you whispered in absolute adoration.

"I love you more than you could ever imagine, (Y/N) (Y/LN)," he smiled, some tears of his own escaping at the beauty of this moment, it was everything he'd dreamt of and more.

He did it, he finally got the girl...and he, JJ Maybank, was going to make sure you were loved the right way.

+

a/n: dhfksdkf this is my first song fic in 2 years, I'm so nervous idk whether I like it or not but I promised myself I would post this, I really hope you enjoyed

[legendrarry]

Dream Drarry

thank you @rockmarina and @unicorn-in-the-library for asking about dream drarry! I actually got this in a dream! 😂😂 I dreamt of half of this angsty scene of Harry and Draco talking with no other context whats so ever. I knew I had to write it down after that! So here it is, my Dream Drarry. Idk if this will ever be a fic but who knows.

Things to take to note: Draco says some bad things about Ginny.

It was when Draco took the third drag of his cigarette that Potter stepped into the balcony, coming to stand beside him in his polished blue robes like he belonged there.

He looked good. He always looks good. Draco thought bitterly. 

"What do you want, Potter?" he asked in a tone that oozed disinterest, even though he felt his heart beat loudly in his chest at the mare presence of the man, even after everything.

He was so used to the feeling by now, so used to the tingling of want that began the second his eyes landed on the raven haired man. It was like a second skin to him now. A cloak he always wore even though he hated it. He hated the familiar sense of anticipation that always came along with Potter. Hated what it had done to him. Hated how he had let it happen. 

"Can't a man have a smoke?'" Potter enquired with the usual mirth in his voice. Draco had gotten used to that as well. What a fool he had been. 

"You don’t smoke, Potter." the words spilled out of his mouth even before he could control them, drencing him with irritation. He could never control himself when it came to Potter. He tried to mask the distress on his face with a drag of his cigarette, forcing himself back into the blankness he always wore. 

"How do you know that?" Potter questioned.

Because I watched you while you spent countless mornings, evenings and nights in my company. I know you by heart. His brain supplied.

"You're the golden twat. What you eat for breakfast makes front page. Of course I knew that you don't smoke. Imagine the chaos the wizarding world would be in if you suddenly associated yourself with a cancer stick, Merlin forbid." he snapped, trying to make the lie more believable. And judging by the snort that escaped from Potter, Draco had succeeded.

"Maybe I've started to smoke recently?" the specky git voiced as he gave Draco that devastating smile, making his brain shut down. Draco hated that about the man, hated how easily he could make Draco forget everything with a mare tilt of his mouth. 

"What do you want, Potter?" Draco asked again with irritation coloring his voice. He didn’t have the mental stability to deal with this tonight. 

Hearing the stiffness in his tone, Draco saw Potter's shoulder deflate a little. Good, he thought, watching the mirth disappear from the man's vivid green eyes and replace itself with annoyance. 

He wondered just when he made himself learn to read the emotions that danced through Potter's eyes. At what point did he lose himself so badly to get this intimate with every twitch of the man's face. 

"Come on, Malfoy. I just wanna talk," Potter sounded exasperate when he spoke.

"Why, exactly? Got tired of the rabbid fanclub you had in there?" Draco asked, waving his hand at the direction of the gala behind him. They were at the ministry for Merlin's sake! Potter shouldn’t be here with him. People would talk. "I thought you loved the way they draped themselves around you like whores."

Draco expected an insult hurled at his way after that. He expected Potter's eyes to flash with anger and his departure. What he didn’t expect was the huff of laughter that escaped the other man, making Draco turn towards him in confusion. 

"Not keen about the latter part but, I can confirm the formar," Potter declared easily with a half smile, Draco's brows twitching at the sudden confession. They didn’t do confessions. Did they?  

"You're tired of the people?" Draco questioned again just to be sure and Potter nodded in return. Draco stared some more. 

"Are you going to finish that?" Potter asked, indicating the burning cigarette between his fingers and Draco held it out. He felt the light touch of Potter's fingers as the man took the burning stick, and watched as the man took it up to his lips to take a long drag.

"I am not a regular smoker, if you wanted to know," he said with a shrug off his shoulder as he continued to smoke.

"I don’t care for it, Potter. Do whatever," Draco said stiffly as he snapped his gaze away from the man. "What do you want?" 

"I believe you have asked me that already." 

"And I am asking again because I can't possibly think of any reason that you would —" 

"I just want to talk, Draco." 

The use of his first name felt like a slap to his face.

"Don't. call me that," he spoke with a tightness in his chest. Potter had no right. 

"Draco —" 

"Don't." Draco ignored the look of desperation in the man's face, his hands gripping tightly at the railings to keep himself grounded. Because how dare him, how fucking dare him. Waltzing in and saying his name like it — it, meant something, when Potter made sure, made so fucking sure to tell him that it didn’t just a few days before. It meant nothing. They meant nothing. 

"When is the wedding?" he asked with fake indifference even though his chest ached while uttering those words aloud. His eyes stung at the mere thought of it. But fuck if he'll let Potter know that he cared. He didn’t. 

"Dra—" Potter's voice cracked at the end. "You know that we didn—" 

"Ohh I know, Potter," Draco spat out his name with an empty chuckle. "That's why I'm asking. When's the wedding?" 

Hearing the venom in his voice Potter went quiet. "We haven’t decided on the date yet," he muttered as he stared at his shoes, before glancing back up to look at Draco again. "But I, I want you there." 

And wasn’t that just rich. Draco couldn’t help but let the hollow laughter escape at Potter's words, the heartless son of a bitch. 

Fuck you, Potter. "Well, I decline the invitation." he said with a wave of his hand. 

"But—" 

"But what? You can't honestly expect me to be standing in between your little army of redheads," You can't honestly expect me to stand there and watch you take the hand of that, that whore when all I ever wanted was you!. "I won't survive their company." my heart won't be able to take it. "And besides," he continued for his own sanity, "I will possibly be in France by the time you tie the knot. So, it's not possible." 

"But..." Potter tried again and Draco wanted to scoff. Was he really that heartless? Or was he that blind? Did he clearly not see what he was asking him of? Did he really not see the pain, the agony he was making Draco feel? 

"We are friends, Malfoy." 

Friends. They were friends. 

Do you put your cock up all your friend's asses, Potter? Do you lie in their beds in return?

"We were never friends, Potter." he stated with a bitter smile. "It was — " a mistake " —an arrangement, of sorts." and I was foolish enough to fall for it. 

He watched Potter stare at him with a mix of desperation that he had gotten so used to seeing. Did Potter know that? Did Potter know how much of him Draco had consumed over the past few months of their...arrangement? Did he know how much of himself Draco had let lose while doing it? 

Of course he didn’t. Because if he had an ounce of idea what he had done to Draco, he wouldn’t be standing here asking of him of....of this. 

Friends. He said. Draco wanted to scoff. 

"You should head back inside," Draco spoke after a minute of silence. "Your fanclub and your…" the word felt stuck on his throat and he struggled to get it out "fiance are no doubt looking for you." 

"I —" Draco watched Potter fumble with his words once more before closing around himself completely. "Yeah." he said at last, his eyes boring into Draco. And for the last time in his life, Draco let himself look into those beautiful green eyes. 

"Come with me?" Potter's voice pleaded as a cold breeze brushed past them, messing up his already crowsnest of a hair. Draco wanted to run his fingers through them, wanted to push them back and kiss him hard on his mouth while telling him he was his. 

Salazar, he was beautiful. 

"I don’t belong there, Potter." I don’t belong there with you. Not in the way you want me to. Not in the way I want to. Was his final words.

It wasn’t the last time he saw Potter, after that. But it was the last Potter saw of him before Draco took the portkey to Paris, leaving the last piece of his broken heart behind.

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Birthday Parties Are Lame

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: some pretty trashy angst

Hope you like it!

Summary- Peter forgot readers b-day

---------------------------------------

"[Y/N]! How are you?," May smiled brightly that night, opening her door for the young girl on her doorstep.

May absolutely loved it when Peter's girlfriend came by to visit. Her smile was always so bright it could light up a room. She was the only thing that was keeping Peter sane. She was sweet and loyal and May could tell by how Peter acted around her that [Y/N] was the highlight of his days.

Which was why the unexpected image at the door bothered her. "[Y/N], dear, what's wrong?"

[Y/N] was wiping away tears, holding herself and struggling to keep a fake smile on her face. "N-nothing... g-good eve-ning, ma'am," she whispered, walking into the living room. "Is Peter h-here?"

May's eyes filled with concern. "On patrol."

"Oh..." [Y/N] paused momentarily before finding herself on the couch. She narrowed her eyes as more tears fell.

Peter's aunt tilted her head with sympathy. "Do you want me to fix you anything?," she asked, deciding it better to not approach the problem directly. "I was just about to make dinner."

[Y/N] nodded. "That'd be nice. I could help you.. if you want." She wiped her eyes.

"That's alright, hon," she said, making her way into the kitchen. "You just sit there and relax." She smiled, opening the pantry. "And wipe those tears, they'll do you no good."

May looked around the cabinet. "How does mac & cheese with ham sound, [Y/N]?"

"Great!," [Y/N] yelled back. It sounded as if she was seconds away from crying. May tried to ignore it. 'I swear if that clueless boy hurt her...'

She looked through the fridge to find more ingredients.

As she took things out, she racked her mind for anything she could be forgetting. [Y/N]'s sniffles were getting louder by the minute. 'Oh, that poor girl.'

What could have happened? Peter couldn't've broken up with her. He loved her. That much May was certain.

But there she sat, slouching over and nearly trembling.

Maybe the young girl was just at the Parker home for comfort from her boyfriend. A failed test having shook up her spirit or so.

"[Y/N], can you come over here?," May asked. I can't find the cheese."

"Y-yes ma'am!," she yelled back, taking a few seconds to compose herself.

Right as [Y/N]'s footsteps became closer, Aunt May yelled, "Oh, sorry! That's alright, I've found it!"

She closed the door to see [Y/N] right next to her, a small, polite smile on her tear-stained face. Her eyes were completely sunken.

May lifted her head, opening her mouth to speak, but before she could, her eyes fell on the calendar in front of her.

There were big underlined red letters in marker on the date.

*[Y/N]'S B-DAY!!! DON'T FORGET!!!!*

May gasped and stared at it for a while as she heard [Y/N] walking away to sit back on the couch. 'Peter forgot [Y/N]'s birthday.'

No wonder she looked so distraught. Anybody would be when someone close to them forgot something so important to them.

May went back into the living room. She sat on the couch beside [Y/N] and immediately reached for her. "Come here, hon. I've got you.."

[Y/N] looked down at her feet, as she felt fresh tears building up, and shook her head. She hated crying in front of May, especially when her nephew was the cause of it.

But the second May pulled her in for a hug, [Y/N] let go. She cried. Wept. "H-he forg-got-"

"I know, [Y/N]. I know," May mumbled. "He'd forget his own head if it weren't attached..." She tried to make her feel better, but there's only so much she could say.

Peter needed to come home.

"I-I kn-know he has responsi-b-bilities.. and I get that, and he tries and h-he does really good, but.. it still hurts," [Y/N] whimpered. "The little things, y'know?"

"Yeah," May whispered. "I know, kiddo..."

When May finally let go, [Y/N] cried a bit more. It was evident that this probably wasn't the first time Peter had forgotten something important. Ooh, the things May would say to him when he got home.

Which was 2 hours from then.

"I think it's about time for me to go home, Miss. Parker," [Y/N] said with a lopsided smile. "Thank you for the meal by the way."

"You're welcome, sweetie," May replied. "And hey, don't yell at him too much. My nephew is smart as a lick, but also an idiot at times."

"Sure thing," [Y/N] laughed. Lies. She wasn't gonna let Peter forget this.

"By the way, did you have a party or something?"

"Haha no," [Y/N] giggled. "Birthday parties are lame."

She walked to the door. As she turned the knob, both she and May heard a voice coming from upstairs.

"Aunt May, I'm home!"

They looked up, then to each other.

Peter energetically walked down the stairs, still with his suit on, to see his aunt and his girlfriend staring at him. "Oh my gosh, hey [Y/N]!" He sped over the give her a quick kiss on the cheek. He looked down with a smile. "New dress? What's the occasion?"

May rolled her eyes. [Y/N] furrowed her eyebrows. "So...you really did forget?," she asked, her eyes becoming glossy again. "You weren't too busy, you actually forgot?"

May looked over at [Y/N]. It was clear that she was in denial. She'd been telling herself that he was too busy. She been hoping that that's what it was.

Peter narrowed his eyes, a clueless smile still on his face. "Forgot what? The only thing I had set for today was patrol- which was incredibly boring by the way!" He gave an over-exaggerated yawn. "It's like all the criminals forgot to come out tonight! -Which I guess is pretty good once you think about it, but still!," he joked.

Well, that was even more of a slap in the face for [Y/N].

Not only had he completely forgotten her birthday. On top of that, he spent the entire afternoon probably sitting on the edge of a building. Doing absolutely nothing productive.

There was no city in danger. No drug run that needed busting. Not even a snot-nosed kid that fell off his bike.

It was just [Y/N] and her forgotten birthday.

"Jesus, Peter," May sighed. "Go check the calendar."

Peter, completely confused, walked into the kitchen.

Why were they acting so weird? What had he forgotten?

Walking further into the kitchen, his eyes fell on the calendar. He sped over to it. His jaw dropped at the sight.

*[Y/N]'S B-DAY!!! DON'T FORGET!!!!*

*DON'T FORGET*

*DON'T*

'Oh crap, I forgot!'

And just like that, Peter felt the weight of the world crash onto his shoulders. He slowly trudged back into the room after cursing himself out twelve thousand times.

"S-so, um.." He suddenly couldn't look anyone in the eye anymore. "May can w-we have the room for a quick second?"

Aunt May chuckled. "Oh, Peter. I think you're going to be in for a long second." She patted his shoulder. "You two go up to his room for this."

The walk to Peter's room was short and quiet. Neither teen looked at the other. The only sound was of their footsteps and [Y/N]'s quiet sniffling.

When they got there, Peter stood by his bed and [Y/N] stood my the door after closing it shut.

"So..um.... happy birthday?"

[Y/N] rolled her eyes. "Thanks," she said bitterly.

"Did you have a party?," he mumbled.

"No," she barely whispered. "Parties are lame..."

They stared in silence.

"I should probably go. My mom will call me if I'm not home in a few..."

"I really am sorry [Y/N-"

"-I let you lie to me," she cut him off sharply, causing him to finally look her in the eyes. "Over and over again I continue to let you lie to me." She pinched the bridge of her nose before she began to pace the room.

"-When you say you're with Ned but I just know you're actually doing some crap with Stark or something. When you need to get home early because May is worried when really you're actually just being obsessive again with your patrol- as if New York can't possibly survive without Spiderman for two seconds even though it has for hundreds of years!"

Peter watched as tears flowed freely down the sides of her face.

"-But the thing is, I don't even care when you lie!," she laughed angrily. "No harm no foul, right?!-No, the problem is...," she trailed off before pointing to herself and looking right into his eyes.

"-I get to dates on time...I find out from Aunt May when you might finally be getting home so that I can facetime you and make sure you're not stressed before you go to bed every night...I try to do everything for you."

Peter looked to the ground.

"- And the one time!," she sobbed out, pointing to him. "...the one time that I need you to be there you aren't, Peter." She stared off.

Peter finally found his voice. "I'm so sorry, [Y/N].."

"God, you're just so-!" She froze, pressing her lips together. "O-oh gosh..."

Peter watched with concern as she stopped telling and finally broke down completely. His heart broke as he led her to sit on his bed.

Immediately, as if snapping out of some sort of trance, she put up a hand and looked away, ashamed. "N-no, I'm sorry. T-that was just me ranting," she rushed out her words. "I-I know you have responsibilities a-and stuff and it's selfish for me to- You don't have to do anything, okay?!," she cried, looking away from him.

At that, Peter began to cry too. "No, [Y/N]. I'm the selfish one, alright? A-and I'll do whatever I can to fix it.."

"You can't, Peter."

"I'll try-"

"You.. can't, Pete!," she yelled, sitting on his bed, bringing him with her. "Because you already do!- You make sure I get to classes on time. You find ways to fit me in your crazy schedule from time to time..You let me know you love me.. t-that's all I need... You do everything that you can to make sure you're there with me.. I'm even amazed sometimes..."

She stared at the ground for a while before speaking again. "During the b-blip.. I was the only one in my family that didn't go..."

Peter gasped. He'd known she didn't blip, but he hadn't known that before.

"During that time, I aged... I learned... my life kept going on," she said quietly, almost sounding guilty. ".. while nobody I loved could see it." She put her head in her hands, shaking against Peter's side as he pulled her close. "And I was miserable..." Hiccups disturbed her talking. She wiped away her tears pitifully.

"-This was my first birthday after the blip... everyone I loved before, and now you... finally had an actual chance to see it with me." She looked up at him. "So when y-you didn't remember. I-I freaked...I-I'm sorry."

The two sat in silence for several minutes. Just crying. Staring.

And after a while, slowly, smiling.

"I made a big fool of myself, didn't I?," she giggled, finally actually calming down from the night she had.

"No," Peter replied, with an intense stare, standing up. "[Y/N], you know you have absolutely nothing to feel sorry for, right?," he smiled. "I'll work on me. But just know that I love you, okay?"

She smiled back, getting closer. "I do, Pete." She sat up, reaching for his neck. "Now come down here and gimme a big kiss..."

"Glad to see you two have made up, with the door closed." Aunt May stood at the -now open- door with her eyebrow raised.

The two teens quickly broke away. "Heh, sorry Aunt May," Peter chuckled.

"I'll allow it this time," she laughed. "Just don't forget her birthday again, you hear me Peter? Or next time, you deal with me."

"Loud and clear," he playfully saluted, hoping that May would just leave already. "Now... can you just, please?," he asked, politely gesturing for her to leave.

"Fine," she said. "Just don't go having any babies you two."

"Yes ma'am," [Y/N] smiled before crashing her lips into Peter's the second the door shut.

---------------------------------------

Like if you enjoyed!!!

[thelittlesttimelord]

The Littlest Timelord: Cracks in Time Chapter 1

TITLE: The Littlest Timelord: Cracks in Time Chapter 1 PAIRING: No Pairing RATING: T CHAPTER: 1/? SUMMARY: A little girl escapes the Time War when the Timelord’s return in “End of Time Part 2″. The newly regenerated Doctor must now raise the little girl while trying to find out why cracks in time keep following them around.

The Doctor came crashing through the ceiling of the Naismith Mansion and landed on all the broken glass. Through blurry vision, he picked up the gun lying next to him and pointed it at Rassilon, but it fell from his hand as he collapsed back down to the floor. The Doctor struggled to get up as Rassilon came towards him.

“My Lord Doctor, Lord Master. We are gathered for the end”, Rassilon said.

The Doctor lay on the floor, panting in pain. He struggled to his hands and knees as he begged. “Listen to me. You can't!”

“It is a fitting paradox that our salvation comes at the hands of our most infamous child”.

“Oh, he's not saving you. Don't you realize what he's doing?”

The Master ignored the Doctor. “Look around you. I've transplanted myself into every single human being. But who wants a mongrel little species like them, because now I can transplant myself into every single Time Lord. Oh, yes, Mister President, sir, standing there all noble and resplendent and decrepit. Think how much better you're going to look as me”.

Rassilon held up his metal gauntlet and every human was restored to their normal selves.

“No, no, don't. No, no, stop it! No, no, no, don't!” the Master yelled.

“On your knees, mankind”, Rassilon demanded.

Every human in the room got down on their knees.

“No, that's fine, that's good, because you said salvation. I still saved you. Don't forget that”, the Master told him.

“The approach begins”, Rassilon said looking up to the sky.

“Approach of what?”

“Something is returning. Don't you ever listen? That was the prophecy. Not someone, something”, the Doctor snapped.

“What is it?” the Master asked.

“They're not just bringing back the species. It's Gallifrey. Right here, right now”.

The humans in the room fled in fear as Gallifrey got closer to the earth.

“But, I did this. I get the credit. I'm on your side”, the Master said.

Wilf came running into the room. “Come on, get out of the way. Get out of the way! Doctor?”

“Help me, please. Somebody, please!” a technician begged. He was trapped in a glass booth.

“All right! I've got you, mate. I've got you”, Wilf said going into the open booth.

“Wilf, don't. Don't!” the Doctor begged as Wilf unlocked the other booth.

“I've got you. Come on. Go on”, Wilf told him.

The technician fled the room.

“But this is fantastic, isn't it? The Time Lords restored”, the Master said, rising to his feet.

“You weren't there in the final days of the War. You never saw what was born. But if the Timelock's broken, then everything's coming through. Not just the Daleks, but the Skaro Degradations, the Horde of Travesties, the Nightmare Child, the Could-have-been King with his army of Meanwhiles and Never-weres. The War turned into hell. And that's what you've opened, right above the Earth. Hell is descending!” the Doctor listed off.

“My kind of world”.

“Just listen! Because even the Time Lords can't survive that”.

“We will initiate the Final Sanction. The end of time will come at my hand. The rupture will continue until it rips the Time Vortex apart”, Rassilon told them.

“That's suicide”, the Master argued.

“We will ascend to become creatures of consciousness alone. Free of these bodies, free of time, and cause and effect, while creation itself ceases to be”.

“You see now? That's what they were planning in the final days of the War. I had to stop them”, the Doctor told the Master.

“Then, take me with you, Lord President. Let me ascend into glory”.

“You are diseased, albeit a disease of our own making. No more”.

The Doctor was back on his feet and aiming the revolver at Rassilon.

“Choose your enemy well. We are many. The Master is but one”, he said.

“But he's the President. Kill him, and Gallifrey could be yours”, the Master told him.

The Doctor turned and aimed it at the Master.

“He's to blame, not me. Oh, the link is inside my head. Kill me, the link gets broken, they go back. You never would, you coward. Go on then. Do it”.

As he was about to turn the gun back on Rassilon, a small brunette girl came running towards the Doctor.

“Someone grab her!” Rassilon demanded.

The Doctor trained the gun on him again as her small arms wrapped around his leg. She shook violently against him and he wondered how she had gotten there in the first place.

“Exactly. It's not just me, it's him. He's the link. Kill him!” the Master yelled.

“The final act of your life is murder. But which one of us?” Rassilon asked.

The woman to the right of the Doctor lowered her hands from her face to look at the Doctor and the little girl. The Doctor spun around to face the Master again. “Get out of the way”.

The Master moved and the Doctor shot the device holding the white point star.

“The link is broken. Back into the Time War, Rassilon. Back into hell”, the Doctor spat.

“You'll die with me, Doctor”, Rassilon said lifting his gauntlet.

The Doctor placed his hand on the girl’s head. “I know”, the Doctor said.

Rassilon aimed his gauntlet at the Doctor and the girl as the woman covered her faced again.

“Get out of the way”, the Master told him.

The Doctor picked up the little girl and moved off to the side as the Master attacked Rassilon with his built up energy. “You did this to me! All of my life! You made me! One! Two! Three! Four!”

Rassilon was forced to his knees as the Timelords disappeared in a bright white light.

The Doctor shielded the little girl’s body with his own as they were sucked back into the Time War. “I'm alive. I've…I'm still alive. We’re okay”. He raised up on his hands as the little girl sat next to him looking at him with her big blue eyes.

They heard a series of four knocks.

The Doctor looked over and saw Wilf in the glass booth.

“They gone, then? Yeah, good-o. If you could let me out?” he asked.

The Doctor sighed. “Yeah”.

“Only, this thing seems to be making a bit of a noise”.

The Doctor got to his feet and walked over to him. “The Master left the Nuclear Bolt running. It's gone into overload”.

“And that's bad, is it?”

“No, because all the excess radiation gets vented inside there”. The Doctor gestured to the other booth with his head. “Vinvocci glass contains it. All five hundred thousand rads, about to flood that thing”.

“Oh. Well, you'd better let me out, then”.

“Except it's gone critical. Touch one control and it floods”. The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver. “Even this would set it off”.

“I'm sorry. Look, just leave me”.

“Okay, right then, I will. Because you had to go in there, didn't you? You had to go and get stuck, oh yes. Because that's who you are, Wilfred. You were always this. Waiting for me all this time!”

The little girl could see that the man was getting increasingly upset. She got up and walked over to him, taking his hand in her tiny one.

He looked down at her and chuckled bitterly. He was dying and she’d just begun her life.

She couldn’t have been more than 4.

“No really, just leave me. I'm an old man, Doctor. I've had my time”, Wilf told him.

The Doctor pulled his hand out of hers “Well, exactly. Look at you. Not remotely important. But me? I could do so much more. So much more! But this is what I get. My reward. And it's not fair!” The Doctor was practically crying at this point and the little girl didn’t like it one bit.

She wrapped her arms around his legs as she tried to comfort him the best she could.

The Doctor’s hearts melted. She had no idea what was going on, but was more worried about how he was doing. He sighed and picked her up. Her tiny arms wrapped around his neck and he gently hugged her before putting her down. “I've lived too long”, he said as he walked towards the glass booths.

The little girl followed him.

The Doctor turned around and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You have to stay here”.

She shook her head, but did as he told her.

“No. No, no, please, please don't. No, don't! Please don't! Please!” Wilf begged.

“Wilfred, it's my honor. Better be quick. Three, two, one”. He quickly ran into the booth and unlocked Wilf’s door.

Wilf ran out and a red light flooded the Doctor’s booth. He cried out in pain.

The little girl ran to the booth and started banging on the glass door with her little hands.

The Doctor curled up into a ball as the power shut down. When he looked up, he saw the little girl’s big blue eyes staring at him.

They were misty like she was about to start crying. She’d just met him though.

After a few minutes, the Doctor managed to get up.

“Hello”, Wilf said.

“Hi”, the Doctor replied.

“Still with us?”

“The system's dead. I absorbed it all. Whole thing's kaput”. He pushed open the door to the booth. “Oh. Now it opens, yeah”. He stepped out and immediately picked up the little girl.

“She’s going to be rather attached to you”, Wilf told him.

“Yeah”, the Doctor said stroking her hair, “Just us two now”.

“Well, there we are, then. Safe and sound. Mind you, you're in hell of a state. You've got some battle scars there”.

The Doctor rubbed his face and the cuts vanished.

“But they've…Your face…How did you do that? Wilf asked.

“It's started”, the Doctor told him.

Wilf hugged the Doctor, who just stood there. After dropping Wilf off at home, the Doctor took the little girl deeper into the TARDIS to find her a room.

He came across a door painted with stars and galaxies. When he opened it, it was a nursery. “Well, I guess this will do for now”, he told her. He laid her down in the bed the TARDIS provided and covered her up with a sheet. “Goodnight, little one”, he said, sonicing a night light. He left her in her room as he set off for his reward.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Doctor stumbled into the TARDIS and saw the little girl standing next to the console. “You should be sleeping”, he told her.

Her eyes went wide as she looked down at his hand.

It was glowing with golden energy.

He walked over to the lever and set the TARDIS in motion. “Whatever happens, it’s me and you”. He stepped away from her and she watched as tears filled his eyes. “I don't want to go”, he said and exploded with golden energy.

The little girl was terrified. She didn’t understand what was going on. The energy started various fires in the TARDIS and she grabbed onto a Y-beam.

When the golden energy faded, a new man stood there in the other man’s clothes.

“Legs. I've still got legs!” he rejoiced. He kissed his kneecaps before moving on. “Good. Arms. Hands. Ooo, fingers. Lots of fingers. Ears, yes. Eyes, two. Nose, I've had worse. Chin, blimey. Hair…” He felt his now longer hair. “I'm a girl! No. No. I'm not a girl”. “And still not ginger!” he said, seeing his hair was still brown, “And something else. Something important”. He looked over and saw the small girl. “Girl. But there’s something else…I'm, I'm, I'm…”

There was a loud bang and it hit him.

“Ha! Crashing!” he yelled happily. He grabbed onto the console. “Ha, ha! Whoo hoo hoo! Ah! Geronimo!”

[paintmearainbow]

What Is Love ?

Love.

Love means different things to different people. Some people say love is making your partner happy and seeing them happy makes you happy . But love, is actually a figment of our imaginations. In a way, love is selfish and makes us lose our independence. You make the other person happy to keep yourself happy, and you become dependent and vulnerable. It's a somewhat like a shared dream. And until one person decides to wakeup, and that dream, albeit fun while it lasted, becomes a living nightmare

1 YEAR AGO

For Harry and y/n; sneaking out of premiers and award shows,buying tacos and eating them at 3 AM was love. For them, love was dancing in the kitchen to Elvis and baking with each other. Love was watching horror movies in makeshift tents, snacking on caramel popcorns and cans of soda; all while making fun of Harry's "those dumb bitches" in the movie. Love was falling asleep in each others arms and reading each other books. It was dressing up as Disney characters and acting out scenes from their favourite animations. It was etheral, perfect. Almost too perfect too be true

People always said "Love will fizzle out. One of you will get bored." Harry and y/n didn't listen. They burned so fast, so bright and didn't realise that their spark too, like all blazed and sparks from lighted matches, had extinguished. One second it was burning so brightly, and the next, it was gone

..............................................................................................

"When was the last time you spoke to him ?" asked y/n's sister.

" A week ago" a distraught y/n replied. "He barely has time to even talk to me on the phone, let alone show me the sights and explore the places with him via facetime"

For a brief moment, she allowed herself to close her eyes and all the memories flashed through her eyes, like a movie roll, playing over and over agai

FLASHBACK

"Y/N !" exclaimed Harry, the golden flecks in his eyes dancing with joy. Oh how she longed to see him, feel him and be with him in real life , rather than on a screen. Yet she was eternally grateful for Harry for never making her feel left out from the tour experience, he always made sure to show her around, even if it was only on a screen, while giving tour guide commentary in a horribly fake American accent.

"You're in for a treat ! We're going to see the Louvre today. Come on an enjoy the sited with Harry's Tour Experiences"

Y/n couldn't stop laughing.

Being an art fanatic, she giving Harry detailed descriptions of the art, while all he did was turn it inti a joke. His put on accent stood out when he kept saying " Oh shucks ! Here's another painting of a few women and men fighting and eating." He termed an entire style of art; renaissance art as "men and women barely dressed fighting and eating". He made a few sly comments on how y/n would look lovely in that dress. It was so wonderful and each of these virtual trips was marked with his signature end. Going to a park, and eating the same food.

His laughter was contagious and y/n loved it. She wondered how she got so lucky, so blessed to have hazza in her life.

She never thought that this love, would eventually fizzle.

end of flashback

Now she was lucky if he spoke to her for 5 minutes. Even those 5 minutes were filled with her talking and him showing least interest in what she had to say. She doubted whether he even listened.

Today, however was a low blow. It was y/n' bday. had it been any other year. Harry would've made this day perfect. They had been together since they were 18. The first year, he bought her 18 gifts on her birthday. The subsequent year, he got her 19 and so on. He would make her breakfast in bed and wake her up with showers of kisses and a "Good Morning, Happy Birthday Darling."

Today however, at 7 PM , she was yet to have him acknowledge that it was her birthday. She was yet to have any sign of news from him at all. She illusioned herself, thinking that maybe he had interviews to attend.

Her sister, however, tired with y/n's moping, said" You're coming over with your friends to Club 22 this night or else I wont speak to you. I don't want you to spend your birthday moping around"

With great difficulty, y/n was persuaded by her friends to go clubbing. The loud music, the drinks and the dim lights were never y/n's scene. Yet, for the sake of her friends, she fixed up a smile on her face and tried to enjoy, trying her best to forget than Harry's call still hadn't come.

.......

It was 10 PM and the party was in full swing. y/n's friends were drunk, so drunk. Everyone around her was laughing, drinking and joking. Meanwhile, a new disturbing thought had settled in y/n's head. What if he got into and accident ? What if he's really sick ? She was ridden with anxiety and couldn't get Harry off her mind, until that one fateful message from Nezza, her best friend, Harry's PA, through whom they had met, sent her that message. When y/n's phone lit up and she scarmbled to see the text, hoping it was Harry, she did not know it would change her life permanently.

The text was simple. "I'm so so sorry honey; you deserve to know" It was attached with a single file of pictures.

She subconciously knew what had happened. She had seen all the signs, yet chose to ignore them, not wanting to get up from her dream. The reduced duration of phone calls ultimately leading up to a call a month, the regular excuses, coming home late, half hearted kisses, they all added up. For a split second, y/n wanted to think that it was something else; maybe harry was too drunk or had passed out in a bar.

The message to forever to download. It was so slow and painfully excruciating. It was like the calm before the storm. The slow before the fast. The light drizzle before the thunderstorm. When the picture finally loaded; her heart shattered ever so fast. The pain she felt was numbing, yet somewhere in her mind, she was gald that Harry was safe.

There was Harry, his arm around the small waist of the redhead, his fingers entwined in hers. The same fingers which ran through y/n's hair multiple times, were now woven in another's hand. She thought her heart couldnt break more.

Fate was not kind to y/n.

She swiped to see the next picture, and she wasn't sure how, or whether it was even possible, but her heart further broke. Harry was kissing her in the booth, their booth, in Alessandro's the place he had her first date with y/n.

Fate had evil plans for y/n.

Tears streaming down her face, the makeup for the night ruined, y/n looked around for her sister and friends but they were nowhere to be seen. The only thing glowing right now was her glitzy dress, the one she had been forced into. Unable to take it anymore, she ordered an uber and left.

Fate wasn't kind to y/n at all

The minute she left the club, she was blinded with lights, the flashes from the camera, and the shouts from the reporters

" How do you feel about Harry cheating on you on tour ?"

"Did you expect this ? How do you react to Harry kissing a supermodel, younger than you!"

Y/n wanted to scream, but keeping her emotions in she pushed through the sea of people, got into her uber, gave her address and broke down.

She cried and cried. The uber driver tried to ask her what was wrong but she couldn't stop crying. she wanted the pain to go away. she wanted to cry. But most of all, she wanted Harry to tell her that it wasn't true and hold her in his arms and tell her it's alright.

But it wasn't. it wasn't alright. Far from it.

The next morning after an extremly broken sleep, y/n awoke. All the event's from last night wre remembered and her eyes started to water again. She switched on her phone to see the hashtag #y/ndeservesbetter and #harryandy/nareover trending. She also so 100 missed calls, voicemails and texts from Harry but chose to ignore them.

Y/n was raised to be strong. She spent most of childhood see her mom struggle to make meets end. She had seen the worst. She was strong. She went over to the mirror and saw her reflection and realised that she looked a mess. She took 3 deep breaths, washed her face, and masked her emotions, just as she did way back in high school, before she met Harry, before he changed her.

She went down and suddenly the apartment door opened. There stood the man who she loved, the man who had broken her heart, the one who still held her heart, no matter how broken it was.

He pleaded with her to forgive him. He begged, cried, said it was a one time mistake, and he regretted it, that he loved her; but y/n turned a deaf ear to his pleas. Their love had fizzled out, and she was blinded by affection not to realise it earlier. And as the saying goes " Once a cheater, always a cheater." Y/n wasn't taking any more risks. She put on a strong facade, made up her mind and left, leaving a crying Harry on the porch.

She wasn't over him, far from it. She was so broken, yet showed no signs. She had calm expresssion, yet her thoughts were chaotic. But she knew what was best and she knew this was the right thing to do. She had to take the lessons from this experience and move on, just like her mother had taught her. Dreams end, no matter how amazing it is, no matter how much you want to hold on and live it, and this, her perfect dream, had also come to an end.

So, what is love ?

A dream ? A nightmare ? Soemthing too good to be true?

Maybe all it is, is an illusion. A fairytale. Or maybe it is the truth, because truth teaches us lessons and so does love. i guess it's one of those things which just has no answers.

author's note

AND THATS A WRAP. I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING. it's something which definitely shouldnt be forgive . this the first ever imagine I've posted on my new tumblr. Please send feedback. Hope you enjoyed it. Reblog. What are your thoughts? i would love to hear them. Send requests for more imagines.

i should be studying but eh.

keep dreaming

ashu.

(here's a random B99 gif for no reason)

[brookeolin]

TRIGGER WARNING/TW: emotional and physical abuse and violence

Hi! I've been paying attention to the stories of assault that have been shared by brave survivors over the past week... and years... Every time a movement to share revives, I consider talking about something I've been through... but usually by the time I feel like I can, I tell myself "it's too late, the moment passed". I am finally realizing that this mentality was a stupid way of silencing myself--and it's truly never too late to speak up.

I don't have a games industry person to call out. I'm sharing my story just to get it off my chest.

A couple years ago, in my late 20s, I was dating a guy named Mike. The relationship was pretty toxic from the start, but I was naiive as hell (yes you're still probably naiive about a lot of things in your late 20s btw) and thought his mean streak was sort of... refreshing? I fooled myself into thinking that I'd finally met a guy that would be honest with me about my flaws, and who would love me despite them. Because of this infatuation with a mean streak and the emotional highs and lows that come with it, I ignored all of the red flags. Some examples related to games: If we played a new game and had different opinions about it, mine were always wrong. If I tried to make an argument for my opinion, he'd accuse me of trying to make him feel stupid. My opinions were always invalidated without a discussion. We would play games together--he would tell me I was bad at it. He wouldn't even play the games I'd worked on, and told me he didn't like them. Everything I did or said was bad or wrong, but he'd always sugar-coat it and comfort me with encouragement that I could "do better". It was a rollercoaster of emotions every day. My self-esteem was so low that... I believed he was right. His gaslighting prevented me from seeing the reality of the situation--I was being emotionally abused, constantly.

Time flew by during this relationship. I was always either ecstatically happy or deeply depressed, and so I developed intense anxiety and panic attack problems. I would have a panic attack and would try to talk to him about it, and he would get mad at me or ignore me. The next day, he'd apologize and we'd make up. This happened more times than I can count. The relationship was so all over the place all the time that my emotional energy was always spent. I got too tired to talk to friends, and cut myself off from everyone without realizing it. I was also shipping a couple games at the time, and stopped working on them in the normal way... I didn't playtest, I didn't proofread, I just hacked things out as fast as possible so I could get back to putting out fires in my relationship. Every single disagreement about games or anything else was always turned back on me, and used to further belittle me.

Things continued to escalate with Mike, and maybe... a year into our relationship, one day, he was mad at me for arguing with him about... something. I was probably mad at him about rent--at this point, he was playing games all day and not working. I was paying for our entire existence, including rent, so we'd fight about that a lot. Anyways, we were fighting and it escalated and he started to hit me. He then shoved me onto the couch and started strangling me. I couldn't get him off. I was seriously at the limit of being conscious when I managed to pry him off of my neck, and then he hit me some more. That went on for a bit, until I managed to run out of the apartment. I wandered around in the streets for a while before coming home.

Guess what! Even after something like that, I stayed with him! People aren't kidding when they talk about how difficult it is for abuse victims to leave their abusers. Why? He convinced me that he beat me up because I pushed him to that point. He managed to manipulate me into believing it was my fault. Turns out, this kind of gaslighting is pretty typical in these abuse situations, but I didn't know that at the time and was... so traumatized and fucked up that I believed him. It took me almost another year, and more physical abuse, to finally leave. I almost died multiple times while dating this guy. On the last occaision, he strangled me again after slamming my head into the wall. He stopped strangling me at my breaking point again and started running towards the kitchen, saying something about a knife. I sprinted out the door with only a shirt and underwear on.

An old guy was closing up at a bar nearby and he let me in and called the cops. Of course, the cops weren't helpful--they stood there asking me "but how bad was it, really"... even asking me to rate my fucking beating on a scale of 1-10 while I was sobbing and covered in bruises. Eventually, they finished questioning me and taking pictures of my neck, and finally drove me home. We got there and they asked... "Do you want us to arrest him? You need to decide." These fuckers made me decide if I wanted my abusive boyfriend to go to jail, outside of my apartment, while I was shaking like a leaf, with no pants or shoes on. It was the lowest point of my life, by far. I was like... seriously in disbelief that they were asking me, the victim, to make this decision. Thankfully, I said yes, and he went to jail. I went back into my apartment, alone, surrounded by broken furniture. I called my mom and a friend. I'll never forget how strange it was to just lie there in my ruined apartment, not really knowing what to do. I went to the ER the next day and the nurses there told me they see girls like me in this condition every day, and they told me that a lot of those girls go home and it happens again and again. They asked me sincerely to never speak to Mike again, and I didn't. I have not seen him since. Oh, but I was still effected by the gaslighting so deeply that I gave money to a friend to bail him out of jail a couple days later, because I still felt like everything was somehow my fault. It was NOT my fault. He chose to violently assault me. That was his choice. It took me a long time to recognize that, because his gaslighting really effected me to my core. The power of abuse is truly incredible and horrific, and the power an abuser has remains even after they are gone.

I was was lucky to come out this alive and on my feet. I am no longer in that relationship--I am safe and happy. As lucky as I've been to come this far, I've been through some very real PTSD since then, and still struggle with the physical and financial repercussions of my assault to this day. Things have gotten a lot better though, so I thought it'd be a good time to share this with folks.

I hope that anyone out there who is also a domestic abuse victim can see that they're not alone, and that they can get out of the situation... hopefully faster than I did. I can't advise anyone personally--I'm a victim, not a professional. However, I can promise you, if you're a survivor/victim of domestic abuse, that there's hope. You can get your life together, as impossible as it might seem--I am living proof of it. Trusted friends, therapy and local domestic abuse centers are incredibly helpful. I have personally literally used all of these methods to help with my own situation, when it was at its worst. There is no shame in asking for help.

If you're not a victim, or don't personally know anyone who is... I hope that you might now recognize that domestic abuse is a very real and pervasive thing. It doesn't happen to one specific kind of person--it can really happen to anyone, and often for long, drawn out periods of time. Relationships are complicated things that can be incredibly difficult to get out of, especially when abuse (emotional and/or physical) is happening. Please keep this in mind, watch out for your family and friends, and support victims as much as humanly possible.

-Nina Freeman

[songdog-songpup]

One week in and we've got to stop.

Stop ignoring the pleas of small at-risk gateway communities to stay home. Stop the anger directed at parks and tribes for shutting down access. Stop crowding trails and outdoor spaces.

As a group, yeah, we get cabin fever pretty easily.

Is it just cabin fever? I think behind this is a lot of (entirely reasonable) fear. A lot of panic-need to hold onto something precious to us.

We've come to the land in the midst of deep pain and grief - DV and assault survivors, addicts, combat veterans, we who have lost loved ones.

We've overcome and/or found how to coexist with physical and mental health challenges on these trails.

We find refuge from the cruelty of society on these quiet paths, a place to escape the daily wear of misogyny, queerphobia, racism, etc.

Some of us walk these lands to keep alive the traditions of our indigenous roots, ways of knowing that have been subject to organized campaigns of eradication.

Contemporary society grinds on us in general too. Demanding jobs that do not yield adequate compensation, parenting and other caregiving without a village, educational systems that do not meet our humanity, the incessant noise and requirements of just, well, living.

The land is our refuge.

In some ways, it can still be. In some areas there are nearby isolated trails, far from small at-risk communities, and well below our skill sets to limit risk to Search And Rescue.

In some places, for some households, it can't physically be. Not right now.

During all that time within the refuge of the land, know that the land has been training us for this.

We have found our capacity to endure and even enjoy isolation or limited social interaction in quiet backcountry camps.

We have discovered our ability to just be, without the need for stimulus and entertainment, on long stretches of trail.

We know we are capable of surviving AND thriving with little. Less than what many of us have at our disposal right now. Just what we can carry on our backs.

"Yeah, but we had the land, the view, the satisfying exhaustion of a good hike!" We might protest.

With enough time out there, you know that isn't always the case.

Haven't we had to hunker down in a shelter while the rain floods the trails for hours, even days? Haven't we had to rig a last-minute solution to broken gear? Haven't we had to hike ourselves out on injury or with illness?

Haven't we found ourselves lost? Haven't we had to wrangle the panicked instinct to charge forward, telling ourselves "it can't be that far"?

Haven't we had to press on for hours through swarms of mosquitos, struggle through heavy mud, slow down for safe footing on ice?

All of these situations have taught us how to adapt and endure. How to "embrace the suck" and keep putting one foot in front of the other. How to let go of our ego and what we WANT in order to address what we NEED.

The lessons go deeper.

We've experienced that liminal space where our next decision will mean safety or disaster. We've stopped and triangulated our position when lost. We've seen the storm clouds roll in and heard the approaching thunder and turned back from the summit. We've heard the rattle and stopped to find the snake. We've felt our bodies struggling beyond capacity and settled into less than ideal camps.

We weren't trained just to endure and adapt. We've been trained to see where we are for everything it is.

In survival it's called recognition and taking stock of the situation. This vital step informs the life-saving action you'll take afterwards. Our martial arts instructor calls it the "willingness to engage with the enemy".

Right now we have two enemies. One is the pandemic. We know what we need to do.

The other lives inside us and is waiting to hijack that liminal space and send all this shit sideways. It's our stubbornness, our fear, our unwillingness to adapt, to integrate the reality that change is inevitable and sometimes we REALLY won't like it. It is ego, complacency and reactivity and the refusal to see the hard truth and THAT is what gets us pulled out by SAR or dead when it goes sideways on the land.

Despite all this, the land has simultaniously trained us for better things in the midst of the chaos.

Because we've all suffered on trail. We've had to push through on shitty climbs, but when we took a breather - damn, what a view.

We know, deeply and innately, how our presence impacts the world we are a part of. We follow leave no trace, we clean up trails, we become still and quiet to avoid pissing off a bison or watch an island fox dance along the rugged shoreline.

We also know we only have each other.

In return for walking with respect and gentleness on the land, the land often cares for us in our time of need as long as we know how to see it. The sparse shade of creosote after a long and exposed desert hike. The silvery relief of mugwort after a brush with poison oak. The river on a blistering summer day.

When we see one of our own in need, we act. We interrupt hikes to help an injured person back to the trailhead. We share drinks and stories around a campfire. We see someone struggling and we give them an encouraging word. We see someone do something well and learn from them. We set out together and share food, shelter, water, first aid, skills, the very load of survival within our minds and in our packs.

We've been trained for this, with every step on trail and every night spent outdoors. We gotta look this square in the eye and come to terms with what scares and angers us so profoundly that we can't act right. We have to come to terms with loss, a great loss despite its temporary nature. Believe me, I've come very close to saying "screw it, it can't be THAT bad".

We can bitch while we are doing what needs to be done. We need to rig up patches and repairs and alternate routes for what we want in order to do what we need. We need to step up for others and adapt and find the view that keeps us going on this shitty climb.

Don't diminish your relationship with the land to superficial stoke and forget this gift of knowing that came from her. The views will be there. The trail will be there. Our wild stories around campfires and the peace of the vast desert and the quiet of towering trees and the breathlessness of a summit that you and I yearn for, it will ALL be there.

Our chance to honor the intangible gifts the land has given us in a time when it matters this profoundly; the chance to act in her wisdom when it matters on such a vast and acute scale - that is not forever.

It is now.

[iamknicole]

Fan

Bloodline Family Series

A/N: Warning.... this isn't gonna be pretty.

"I'll be fine," Haleigh laughed into the phone. She thanked the person holding the door for her, not bothering to pay much attention to who it was. "I come here all the time this late. I've gotta get these songs out, KoKo."

"Is Messiah in town?" Koda asked clearly frustrated with his sister.

"No, he's in Seattle. I'm fine," she reiterated stepping into the buildings elevator. "I'll call you when I'm done and headed home."

"You drove there?" Koda asked sucking his teeth. "Look, ima call Mama or Auntie A to come there with you."

She laughed at how overprotective Koda is.

" It's almost 1am, Mama is not about to bring the trips out with Daddy gone and Auntie is not about to get up. You know she probably sleep."

"Fine but be careful. And call me before you walk out that building. I don't care what time it is."

After Haleigh agreed to call her brother, she hung up the call just as the elevator came to a stop to let her out. Her head was down when she exited the elevator, sending a text to Messiah and Ardian.

To My Siah:

Great game, babe. Can't wait to see you 😍😚

To Baby Daddy Ardi:

I hope you and my babies are ok. I miss y'all. I'll pull up. And.... I'm sorry for just walking out on you. 😧😢💙

The engineer was waiting for her inside the studio. He left hey with a few instructions and well wishes before leaving her by herself. Checking her phone she found messages from Koda, Roman and Messiah but nothing from Ardian. Apart of her knew he wouldn't text her back but she hoped.

Three hours and two songs later, Haleigh felt better. All the stress, the thoughts and the emotions she had were out and in lyrical form. There was more written down in her notebook but this would do for now.

She gathered her things and shut everything down better heading out. She called Koda while she waited for the elevator not wanting to hear his mouth about not calling. The siblings talked ass she walked through the building and parking lot.

"Hey, you're Halo, right?"

Haleigh switched the phone from her right hand to her left to look at the stranger talking to her and smiled. He was standing at the back of her SUV with his hands in his pockets. The lights in the parking lot illuminated their faces. She ignored Koda telling her tii get in the car and confirmed her identity.

"This is so dope. I'm your biggest fan," the Caucasian male said happily. "Can I please get a picture with you? I thought that was you earlier but I wasn't sure."

"Yeah," she nodded going over to him, "Why didn't you speak? I would've spoke back."

"You were inn the phone, I didn't want to interrupt. You thanked me, that was enough."

Haleigh put Koda on hold to take the picture, or her phone in hey pocket then hugged the fan. "Make sure you tag me in that picture and make sure I look cute in it."

"Most definitely! Thank you again, Halo."

"You're welcome, hun. Have a good night."

Haleigh put the phone back to her ear before climbing up into her SUV. She switched their call to the car Bluetooth then pulled out.

"Stop bein so fuckin friendly, Hae."

"What? You wanted me to be mean and tell him no? It's not his fault this is the time he ran into me, Koda."

"It's 3 in the morning. He could've been a weirdo or some shit," Koda complained loudly.

"My fans are not weirdos."

"You've read the comments under your pictures, so I know that you know that's a lie, Haleigh."

Haleigh rolled her eyes cruising through the pretty much empty streets. "Well, it's done now and we can't undo it. And where is your fiance? Shouldn't you be in bed with her?"

"She's sleep. I would've been too but my sister took her ass too the studio this late at night."

"Well, I'm almost home now so go on and go to bed. I love you, big head."

Koda sighed hard. "Love you too. Text me when you get in the house and lock up tight."

"Sir, yes, sir, " she joked them disconnected the call.

Haleigh called Ardian as she walked to her porch. It felt odd not speaking to him for so long. She just wanted to hear his voice. And something didn't feel right. She stood on her porch waiting to hear his voice.

"I'm sleep, I call you back," he mumbled into the phone before hanging up.

Humming lowly to herself, Haleigh dropped her phone in her purse and unlocked her front door. Just as she turned the key, she heard footsteps behind her. Her purse feel and most of the contents spilled onto the floor. The next thing she knew she was being pushed into her house. She tripped from the force, catching her balance before she hit the floor. When she turned around she was face to face with the fan from the parking lot.

"You need to leave. Now!" She yelled rooted to her spot.

He smiled small. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure you got in okay. It is pretty late."

Haleigh’s eyes burned wishing she had just stayed home or bright someone with her. She hated that she was avoiding Ardian, he would usually come with her. But then again, had she not been avoiding him she would have needed to go to the studio this late.

The fan took a step towards her, she took one step back.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. I just," he sighed, "I wanted to see you in."

"You've seen me in, now leave," she demanded moving back from his attempt to touch her.

He shook his head. The smile turning into a slight frown. "Don't be rude. I'm looking out for you, Halo. I love you. Don't you love me?"

"I don't know you! Leave!"

"You do. I'm Todd. I go to all your shows, I tweet you and tag you in anything I think you'd like."

The name clicked in her head. The few times she's gone through her comments his name came up a lot, he came to any signing he could and he was always popping up on her Twitter feed. Her management and her family knew about him as well.

"Did you follow me, Todd? That's not okay. I don't like that."

She figured yelling wouldn't work so she tried to reason with him. Silently praying it would work.

"No? I just wanted to protect you. Anyone could harm you, ya know? I was helping."

She nodded wiping her tears away. "Okay, you've helped. Now please leave."

Todd stepped forward, grabbing Haleigh to him before she could back away again. She struggled against him. "Don't I get a thank you?"

"Thank you," she said softly.

Fresh tears cascaded down her cheeks.

He stared into her eyes, a small smile on his face. Todd loved her. Loved her more than he should have. Without a second thought he kissed her, trying to ignore her fighting him off. Haleigh but his tongue when he pushed it roughly into her mouth prompting him to break the kids and push her away. As soon as her body hit the floor, Haleigh scrambled away from him leaving him checking his bleeding tongue and she spit his blood out as she ran to her room. Todd ran after her, getting to her closed and locked bedroom door and started to bang on the door.

Haleigh went into her walk in closet, locked it and started to search for her back up phone. Roman had given it to her months ago and her being the person she is tossed it somewhere completely forgetting about it.

She jumped as the banging got louder and couldn't control her crying. Her hands shook so bad that she could barely look through her things. When she found the phone there was a loud boom letting her know he'd broken the door down. Still her hands shook as she dialed the 911.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"There's someone in my house and they won't leave. Please help me," she said info a shaky and strained voice.

"What's your name and are you somewhere safe?"

"Haleigh Reigns. I'm in my closet."

"Is the person near you?" The operator ask trying to locate the call.

"Yes, he kicked down my bedroom door and he's trying to get in here." Haleigh screamed from Todd kicking at the double doors. "He's gonna get in! I need help!"

"Are you at 736 Keyes Drive?"

She screamed out again. "Yes!"

"Stay on the phone, sweetheart. The police are on the way. They're term minutes out."

It didn't matter that they were on the way, he'd gotten in. Haleigh was terrified and screaming. Todd was angry at her for running away. He snatched the phone and threw it at the wall, shattering it.

"Look at what you made me do, Halo. Why'd you make me do that?" He asked taking slow steps towards her then snatched her to him. She cried and screamed for help. "Stop screaming!"

"You're hurting me. Let me go."

"No! You think you're too good for me? Is that what you think?" He asked pushing her to the ground and straddling her. "We'll see about that."

Todd mumbled to himself then cocked his fist back fully prepared to hit her. Her cries almost stopped him. Almost. He punched her face and torso repeatedly ignoring her pain filled screams.

When the police came in and found Haleigh, Todd was gone. He left Haleigh unconscious, battered and bloody on her closet floor. One of the cops recognized her by the pictures around the house and cursed to himself. He knew her, he knew her parents even better. He volunteered to make contact with them while the paramedics rushed her to the hospital.