#letters tag

[pandapupremade]

chris... chris...! i heard... that mistle...toe is a... human thing...? and you... kiss under it...? then...! mwuah! (you are left with slime residue on your cheek.) a kiss... for chris...! chriss?

~ Bubbles

YOUuuu

edit: i coudlnt even add tags. help me

[1alchemistart]

dont got much to offer for The Holiday but have these sillies!

happy valentines day :D

[werewolfetone]

Shout out to this tiny yet crucial error on an otherwise actually very informative post about myths about tax returns and the IRS

[hinamie]

some quick jjk eye paintings

[liyv]

a very beloved happy birthday 🎉

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.

I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.

Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?

Jeeves

Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.

On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.

Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.

There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.

He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?

He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.

Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.

He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.

There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.

Bertie

Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.

In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.

He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.

I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).

I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.

When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.

[star-girlfriend]

Did u get my vibes man?

[wasabi-gumdrop]

Kabru has a secret admirer in the castle!

[composing-the-future]

[teddys-draft]

A love language ✨

[saccharind]

“Darling, I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a long time. How about a photograph of you? There is a spot on my dresser that my eye catches the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night and I can think of nothing I’d like better than to have your picture there —“

from Other People’s Love Letters, edited by Bill Shapiro

[pandapupremade]

Well, well, well, my dear, look above us! Is that what I think it is? Mistletoe, how romantic... You know what this means, don't you? I'm sure you do. Don't be shy now, kissing is a requirement, after all! How lucky to find myself here with none other than my love. If you're feeling shy, you can close your eyes... I won't bite, ahahah.

- Baptiste

im gonna cry like real tears this is so vivid in my head . this is just a letter from him isnt it. im dying. im gonna cry. theyre good tears i promsie but i love you. bappy . kissing you kissinsg y

[theoldkyokodied]

[Hi Dennis. How was the lion feeding?...?]

This has been something I've been working on for quite a while now, as some people who look at my insta story might know, but I'm finally done!! those text messages from s14ep5 are so unhinged, they haunt me every goddamn day. To drop "i love you so much" just to follow it with what essentially is a "no homo.. for u... even tho u r so hot and i like you so much!". exploading them with my mind into a million pieces, okay?

[aftonsparv-bugzz]

:33 < iHATE having to fight EVERYTHING for the SMALLEST amount of representation in this community. therians get SO MUCH representation in this community, nobody talks of objectkins, or fictionkins, or plantkins, or conceptkins, or elemental kins, or space/voidkins, or songkins, or LITERALLY. ANY. "UNCOMMON". ALTERHUMAN IDENTITY. it is SO UNFAIR ON THE REST OF THE COMMUNITY THAT WE LITERALLY HAVE TO FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL JUST TO GET THE SMALLEST REPRESENTATION IN THIS COMMUNITY. WE NEVER GET TALKED ABOUT. EVER. (also, ihave NOTHING against therians. iam one. but iwont post about it because iwant to fight for representation of "uncommon" kins.)

:33 < shout out to alterhumans/non humans with NO kin identity, just saying they arent human. youdont "need" to have an identity and fit into a box. youre perfect just the way you are.

:33 < shout out to plantkins. every single plant/fungi. from the DEADLIEST venus fly traps to the BRIGHTEST boquet of roses. have a fresh ray of sunlight to beam upon you, youre shining so much its insane.

:33 < shout out to all the objects. whether it be a small eraser, or your favourite plushie, youre still valid, and awesome, and soooo cool /gen

:33 < shout out to elemental kins. burning fire, cold breezes of wind, all elements. the most HURTFUL, DEADLIEST elements to the ones that arent so dangerous. your kintype is never too dangerous for me. keep living life the way youwould

:33 < shout out to fictionkins. the weirdest characters, the "prettiest" characters, your favourite characters, your hated characters, your least favourite characters, characters from an uncommon source or from a common source, all of you.

:33 < shout out to songkins. from the strangest, most unusual melodies, to the songs everyone knows. you are the most beautiful, melodic songs ever. you keep being you bro.

:33 < shout out to placekins. youre a little cottage in the woods ? thats awesome. youre that corner shop down the street ? so cool. youre massive theme park, with flashing lights and fireworks and everything ? genuinely so amazing.

:33 < shout out to daykins/monthkins/seasonkins/yearkins. all the several days, seasons, months passing by us is so beautiful to watch

:33 < shout out to number/letter kins. all the numbers formed to make mathematics, all the letters we have in languages today, all so beautiful

:33 < shout out to spacekins. all the stars, cosmos, voids, even those who identify with being space as a whole. so beautiful.

:33 < shout out to conceptkins. strangest concept to comprehend, the easiest concepts, idont care. yall are amazing.

:33 < and shout out to any "unusual" or "uncommon" kintype ihavent mentioned.

:33 < yall are SO BEAUTIFUL !!

:33 < if you identify with an "uncommon kintype" PLEASE interact with this blog iwant more cool people to follow /nf

:33 < and if you are a therian blog iwould hope you to repost this so youcan show awareness for other kintypes in this community. (but youdont have to !! idont mind if youdont, do not worry !! :3 its perfectly ok with me not to reblog it, I understand why you wouldnt !! :33)

:33 < /nf

[alluralater]

making her count each time you cum inside her. that whiny dazed voice whimpering out a three as you sink your cock deeper in and give her those final few strokes. she’s so pretty like this, isn’t she? cum dripping down her pussy, the intense warmth on her clit making her twitch. groaning in that low vibrating way into the plush duvet. her inner thighs slick with her own wetness. trembling legs and arched back. she’s been such a good girl. she can take another. she’ll take as many as you’re willing to give. draping your body over hers and taking her jaw in your hand. tell me you’re my good girl. fucked out little moan escaping her throat before she obeys. mmm you really are. rocking slowly back and forth into her, so fucking deep at this angle. the tops of your thighs pressed to the backs of hers. the curve of her ass to your hips and stomach. she feels so good like this. leaning up and taking her hair in your hand, the other on her waist. say it again, what are you. tell me. swirling desperate words eager to reply, they turn sharp as you pull her head back. you’re my what? i didn’t hear you. louder now she says it again. hard thrusts angled slightly upward, forcing her body to meet your pace. and my good girl belongs to me, doesn’t she. say it. breathless agony in her voice, strangled pleasure symphonies. taking the full force of each merciless stroke, eyes rolling back and her swollen lips trying to work the words through a cumdrunk haze of lust.

i’m yours

[yet-another-haven-of-dollya]

"White Lily Cookie Harem isn't real it can't hurt you."

White Lily Cookie Harem:

Now that the Elder Fairy is finally in-game, even with Cotton-Sherbet treatment, I can finally post these silly sketches I did since Beast Yeast just released. I added Mercurial Knight recently lol.

My existential crisis girl accidentally collected male-wife kings like collecting Pokemon wheezzzeeee