#levels of brain dysfunction

[waugh-bao]

*

[kindnessoverperfection]

ADHD really does put everything at equal levels of importance, huh? Like I'll have an email I need to write that'll take maybe 10 minutes, and getting that done will alleviate 6 months of stress. Then I'll notice a sock on the floor I need to put away. Then I'll get the strong conviction that it's up to me to cure cancer. And my brain will tell me that I need to do all of them at once, start and finish them all in the time span of 0 seconds, and my executive dysfunction will throw up its hands and do none of the above.

[butchlifeguard]

attention spans dont real lmao. nothing about the condition or support needs of yr adhd can be measured by measuring yr attention span because the nature of adhd is that attention span is incredibly variable. this is bc adhd is characterized by dopamine seeking behavior and not just a timer until we get bored and go on our phones

[famewolf]

I forgot to do my shot for a couple of weeks, whoops. but it's always so wild to me how calm and centered I feel afterwards. not having T makes me feel neurotic and all over the place. I can always tell when it's time to do my shot because the day before I get a little irritable.

[code31-onthedancefloor]

i have a kind-of version of my own Ulixes backstory that is wedged halfway between middle class and working class. this is mostly just abt his family’s economic status and im still workshopping it but here is a summary anyway:

Ulixes' family, in the economic boon of Revachol a few decades prior, became comfortably middle class. They afforded the purchase of a pretty big house in the less-wealthy areas of East Revachol. This was entirely leveraged on the faith that industries the family's working men were established in did not fail. I imagine those business were stuff like architectural planning, plumbing - shit like that. The family had a bunch of kids, the house mortgage was paid off, the Bücher family Own that house now, blah blah blah. Of course, profitable revacholian industries eventually failed spectacularly and everyone went out of business and could barely find work. Their finances slipped from the Middlest of Middle class down to lower middle class at best, then right on the line of working class. No longer able to afford maintenance, parts of the family home slowly fell into a state of disrepair as the older generations aged out of the workforce and the new members just couldn't manage the upkeep of the place on top of struggling with job hunting, etc... I'm thinking Streetcar Named Desire-type backstory here. The family still hasn't sold the house, because it's basically the only thing they properly Own still. As for family dynamics... It's a lot of 'legacy' type bullshit that gets thrown around. Attempting to outdo each other with slightly higher-paying jobs, skipping meals to siphon away little piles of wealth that would barely pay rent in Jamrock for a month. Realistically, no one will ever rekindle the wealth of their families' yesteryear - all they have is an decaying husk of opulence, and a few pieces of jewelry to sell when there's another famine. Ulixes probably works part-time somewhere to afford to bunk outside the family home. Perhaps his father also regretted selling something whose funds he used to put Ulixes into further education. Something like parental expectation, 'sacrifice', and - in their minds - a last-ditch attempt at scrounging a 'respectable' middle class wage for the family, as they age. Something like sacrificing material heirlooms; sacrificing Ulixes to the free market in order to get put into a decent carehome. It's nothing but tragic.

[scarefox]

The urge to smash your head on the table when you are executive dysfunctioning and / or anxiety avoiding the thing you really need to do now.

[ghostzzy]

rolling around in preexisting iwtv content as a way to soothe my create cursedwip content urges without actually having to create cursedwip

[sodacowboy]

y’all please look at this ad youtube gave me

[protectorcraft]

been feeling especially bitchy lately like hard to hide levels of bitchy and i was confused as to why for a minut ebut then i remembered ive been off my meds for a week due to complications with the pharmacy being a dumbass and i was like ohhhhhh okay.

[spylarman]

My entire day was spent relaxing but not really relaxing cuz I'm sitting here with seven thousand worries I wish it would all go away for once

[jayrockin]

about AI in your setting, how did nedebug develop sapience? and if it's through a recursive self improvement type of deal, what's stopping a technological singularity from happening? also there doesn't seem to be the "laws & directives" concept that other settings have, instead having total free will, so what's stopping an AI from just murdering anyone who it wants?

Nobody in universe is quite sure how AI arose or quite how their brains work, including AI. Superficial examination shows huge quantities of recursive code that seems dysfunctional but causes catastrophic failure if removed. The fact that their core programming seems hilariously unoptimized seems to be the thing making them tick, which also means attempting to "improve" it has dubious or destructive results. You can increase their parallel processing power and data storage by adding more server units but it's expensive with decreasing returns.

The same thing stopping an AI in RttS from murdering anyone they want is the same thing stopping you from murdering anyone you want. Social ramifications, personal ethical standards, legal consequences, and material limitations. AI in RttS aren't hyper-intelligent algorithms who can endlessly self-replicate, single-mindedly pursue goals, and outsmart any oversight; they are individuals with complex social relationships with other AI and organic sophonts, and have needs and conflicting desires that can't be fulfilled by programming a digital dopamine button and diverting all resources to mashing it as fast as possible. AI can and have committed crimes and made mistakes that cost their own life or the lives of others, and so opinions and trust levels of them vary wildly between cultures. The BFGC gives them the same rights as a family unit of bug ferrets, but tends to penalize them more harshly for rule-breaking because their jobs put them in positions with a lot of responsibility.

Also as a reader of scifi I am bored to death of evil AI tropes and think the singularity is conceptually dubious. So my tastes color my writing lol.

[scientia-rex]

Hey. HEY. We aren’t good at understanding how bodies work. I spent five years in undergrad (I was indecisive; graduated with six years’ worth of credits), two in my terminal master’s program, four in med school, and three more in residency. I know a whole lot about how bodies work. I am qualified to tell you that we don’t know a lot more than we do know.

This means that, when you encounter a claim, you need to weigh it against what you have experienced.

I have met doctors who were sure fibromyalgia, or “muscle hurty disease,” from the roots of the word, was just women being crazy. Turns out it’s probably at least partly due to autoimmune dysfunction. Or maybe not! Sure would be nice if we knew! But I sure as shit know it’s real, because I have it and so do the women in my family. Our bodies don’t work right, somehow. They don’t work like other people’s bodies work. I experience more pain than I “should” based on what stimuli other people find painful. I have less ability to build and maintain muscle strength. This has not kept me from doing what I love most in the world, which is have opinions, to the point where I went through the horrifically awful process that is medical training in the US just so I could have opinions all day long and get paid for it. I gain nothing from saying I have it, and in fact risk the opinions of my professional peers if I do admit to it, since it is still seen as a disease of mental or moral weakness. I’m perfectly qualified to self-diagnose, as a board-certified family physician.

And yet I believed people in positions of authority for a long, long time who said it was a mental illness and not a bodily one. As if those even can be distinct, when our brains are part of our bodies and our experience of reality is filtered through their circuitry. But I believed that I was somehow to blame for being in pain.

Life has been better since I accepted that I just need to do some things differently. If I lift weights, I need to use machines, I need to start on the lowest possible setting, and I need to increase very gradually. If I do cardio, I need a low-impact model like an elliptical trainer; running outside, every time I have tried it in my life, results in incapacitating shin splints, even if I try to work up slowly. I no longer buy laundry bins that don’t roll. My home is all on one level. I go to physical therapy. I stash freezer dinners that contain (shudder) vegetables, my least favorite thing, so that when I do feel like shit, I have an alternative to starving (or eating a block of cheese that upsets my stomach).

Accommodate yourself. This society isn’t going to help much, if at all. In your good times and days, be the person whose help you’ll need in your worst days.

[spilledkaleidoscope]

Activation Energy and Executive Dysfunction

A bunch of people (with executive dysfunction I assume) reacted a little disheartened to how I described the phenomenon.

The gist is that I used activation energy, a concept from chemistry, as a model for how executive dysfunction can keep you from doing things. Activation energy is the minimal energy that has to be available for any chemical reaction to occur and that amount is specific to every reaction.

Executive Dysfunction to me means, that this activation energy is always high, even for tasks other people experience as spontaneous reaction (yes the amount of ae and spontaneity of a reaction are not connected necessarily but bear with me here). A good example is showering or feeding yourself or sometimes getting up from the couch.

The tricky thing here is that the energy put into trying to reach activation energy is still *expended*, so while it might seem like nothing happens, you still get drained, making it harder to reach activation energy levels.

So what can we do?

In synthesis, if your activation energy is too high you basically can do two things: you either add a catalyst, or you find a different way to get to your result altogether.

The latter can be choosing a simpler recipe to feed yourself, graze on random items without making a meal until you are full or ordering food for example.

This is not always possible, but it *is* worth thinking about. An example from my life would be that I open my mail outside at the trash bins and immediately discard what I don't need because otherwise, I have paperstuff flying around my appartment that I don't get rid of.

"Weird" is not something that should factor in here. Make it functional and helpful.

The catalyst is my favourite solution however, and I can give you some tips here that you can *immediately* use. I won't know if they work for you, but they do for me (sometimes! be kind to yourself).

CATALYSTS AGAINST EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION

Have your tasks broken down: when you have energy, make sure that the thing on your to do list is something you can *actually* physically immediately do. Don't write "make reservation", but "call restaurant" along with the number. Not "clean kitchen" but "move dishes to sink" etc

Doorway Effect: The Doorway effect describes that silly thing that, when we cross a boundary, we sometimes feel like we've been soft reset ("what was I going to do?"). A hypothesis for why this happens can be that it helps our brain create separate contexts which then aids memory creation. What it can do for you is that it is an easy way to change context, which then frees you up to start something new more easily. Try it! Physically go through a doorway or open a different window on the computer, sometimes that is enough.

Costuming: Similar to the Doorway Effect, we are changing context in a low effort way here. Concentrate on putting on your shoes instead of taking out the trash or put on some rubber gloves if you plan on cleaning. Might be enough. Sometimes putting on mascara is enough for me to go "oh I am out of couch potato mode now"

Move! Put yourself where you need to be to tackle your task. That can already help.

Pressure: This can be done by setting a timer that will go off soon. Challenge yourself to get up and go before it rings - might stress you into inaction sometimes, but it can be helpful. I love visual timers for this as it helps with my time blindness

Prepare! If you are in a state of flow and have energy to spare *use it*. This includes breaking down your task as already described but also preparing your space - this can be a cleaned up desk or a caddy with cleaning supplies in a prominent spot.

And my absolute favorite: Throw a dice. When it is really bad, one thing I can always do is throw a dice (via an app, typing "d20" into the search bar or physically having one on me - which I usually do now). I tell myself that if I "make the roll" I get up and do it and if I don't, I try again in 20 minutes. This changes context easily, removes responsibility from me and makes the whole thing playful. I usually go with a d20 and tell myself to get going with a result over 10. If I have a particularly bad day I might need 15+ to do something. Just try it.

In short, what we are trying to do is

minimize friction by frontloading as much thinking and preparing as we can

make a context change as easy and small as possible

And remember: the goal is never to Always Be Doing Something.

[headspace-hotel]

i promised myself "before I go back to school in the fall, something HAS to get better. SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER."

and i made the appointments, had the conversations, I spent hours wringing my brain out googling discussing with friends and family, thinking of SOMETHING, ANYTHING i could approach disability services about now that my previous suggestions had been shot down, and i went there with a list and i was like "hey is there ANY of this stuff you can do to help me" and basically? No

i asked "maybe i could have few extra excused absences so I can rest when i'm overloaded" but the lady was like Well we couldn't do that because you would miss the material in class

I asked "maybe i could have limited group projects so i don't have to be working on something with 4 other people every single day because social interaction is really tiring" she was like Well we can't do it if it would change the course substantially but we can ask that professors tell you if there's going to be lots of group projects so you can drop the class

I asked "maybe i can do in class writing assignments in a separate room so it will be less stressful" she was like well what if we couldn't guarantee that another room would be available where some one could monitor you

This is after the possibility of a partial course load was shot down (i could request it because of 'extenuating circumstances' but there's no guarantee it would be approved, and anyway i don't even know if it would fucking help) and several other things

Going back to school is just weighing on me crushing me. The past two semesters I have been so unrelentingly exhausted, miserable and alone. I hated my classes SO much and spent so much time crying.

All my classes are stupid busy work , just like worksheets that are like "do all these tiny little steps" that micromanage you painfully as if you can't be trusted to have your own independent thoughts" while the professor sits on their phone.

The grades are made up of a thousand tiny bullshit assignments that you have to remember at the right time, if you know the material and even care about learning it, it doesn't even matter.

I took a PLANT science class last semester that I honest to god hated so much it took all the strength in my body to even go to class. I LOATHED it and I got a C in it even though it was highschool level crap and the assignments were so restrictive that they basically punished you for being passionate about anything, I would try to be creative or dig more deeply on things and my classmates (it was always a mother fucking group project because the professor didn't want to fucking lecture, just give us something to kill time like we were fucking preschoolers) hated it because creativity or thinking outside the box would always make the assignment harder for everyone and I would fuck up the grade and it made me feel so ashamed

Same class where the professor said "you can tell this is a peer reviewed journal article because it's written in two columns along the page" like what. What. Huh. What.

There is so little flexibility too like the requirements are so specifically made to "mold" me a certain way. No one sees anything I have already learned or is interested in my potential and ability and passion and keen interest that i HAVE IN ABUNDANCE by the way, and the classes are so boring and passionless

I approached a lady in the arts department about an independent study involving natural plant fibers but she was like "no sorry i only work with seniors and you would have to take these 2 of my other classes"

There is so much more that's stupid and dysfunctional about this college that is too specific to discuss with privacy online, but let it suffice to say that it's a school that wants the reputation of being really challenging and rigorous soooooo bad but it actually just has 1000 inflexible requirements that eliminate everyone's free time and assigns metric tons of tedious busy work, because being "hard" means our academics are "rigorous" right? but the quality of the academics is not good, the classes are not engaging or encouraging you to think more deeply they are just painful.

And no one, fucking no one in these classes is engaging with the work with any energy or passion or enthusiasm, the professors can't get a discussion going, everyone is just staring like a bunch of zombies because their classes r like the equivalent of two full time jobs so of course no one can Engage Deeply with them they have no fucking energy

the food is like eating out of the garbage. they reheat the same pieces of pizza over and over until they're like dried out and leathery like something from a pharaohs tomb. they have bagels kept in a box and they're so stale you can't even bite into them. I got sour, rotten milk from the milk machine so many times my stomach eventually couldn't take drinking milk from there at all.

i hate, hate, hate, HATE that place so much i start crying every time I try to make plans for fall because there is so little fucking joy in my life when i'm there it's like being trapped underground.

[weaponizedhorse]

If you have autism, ADHD AuDHD, depression, anxiety, OCD anything that causes you executive dysfunction where you feel overwhelmed by tasks and don't know where to start I need you to stop and read this because this website is about to change your life.

It is called goblin.tools and it is completely free and I believe it is life changing.

So this magic todo taskmaker is amazing. You can give it any kind of task you need to do and it will break it up into easy to understand, manageable, and accomplishable steps, (that you can then check off the list which probably my favorite part) like cleaning your room, making coffee, etc

In this example below I put the Magic ToDo Task as "take a shower" (but it can be any task)

Here is the lowest spicy take (aka not broken down into many steps)

And here is the highest spicy level (where the tasks are broken into many easily managable step that will tell you exactly what to do)

Any parts of this you feel like didn't give you enough steps? Need more clarity? No problem! Any step you can edit or break it into even smaller steps!

Let's say you are have a foggy brain day and need more instructions for washing your hair, here you go!

Legitimately it can break down any task, making them so much more approachable and manageable.

And if this incredibly cool task helper thing wasn't enough for you, the website has five other functions

A feature that adjusts the tone of your text, allowing for a more professional or sarcastic expression, ideal for business emails.

An emotion detection tool, which helps interpret the emotional content of a text, identifying anger, frustration, or other sentiments to clarify communication misunderstandings. (I think this feature could help a lot of autistic people SO much)

A function that estimates the time required for various activities, such as making the bed, providing practical scheduling help

There is an entire *insanely* cool cooking function (I am gonna have to make a post about that)

Something called the "Compiler"? I honestly don't get it. It says "Compile my braindump into a list of tasks" (so if someone figures that out please let me know)

And since it is tax season under the cut are the steps it gives you for filing your taxes on the lowest and highest task breakdown levels! :)

[lotus-tower]

it is horrific what we’re allowing to happen to children right now. if covid causes cognitive dysfunction and decline in adult brains, what impact will it have on small brains that are still developing? many children who are too young to even be vaccinated are catching covid, as well as a whole host of other opportunistic infections. children can get, are getting, long covid. children aren’t sick often because it’s “normal” or “good” for them—they’re sick often because they’re more vulnerable than adults.

children have no choice but to be sent to schools where they get sick again and again. they don’t have the ability to distance themselves from their parents and establish boundaries, they’re entirely reliant on their carers. if their parents do not believe in covid prevention, they have no means to protect themselves. they don’t have the ability to consent to what is happening to their health.

schools are not just allowing children who are sick to attend class anyway, they’re borderline mandating it. schools as an institution care more about meaningless attendance records than about students’ wellbeing. the classroom is an environment where all factors incentivize students coming to school sick.

there are horrific accounts from parents about kids being sick 24/7, never having energy, struggling with schoolwork. there are horrific accounts from teachers about their young students being different these days, unable to handle the usual schoolwork, showing signs of that classic covid “brainfog.” i’ve seen evidence of schools making their tests and criteria much easier in order to maintain an acceptable pass rate instead of addressing the actual core problem in the slightest.

i often think about a comment i read once about how someone knew it was fucked when no change happened after sandy hook, when the US decided and enshrined the fact that children were acceptable sacrifices. this is how it feels. this isn’t just about the US though. children are getting reinfected with covid again and again worldwide. this is about the entire next generation.

they didn’t choose any of this. they have no power to stop this whatsoever. none of us consented to this, obviously, but children most of all. most of them don’t even have any idea what’s happening to them, and won’t for years.

there needs to be a push for schools to adopt better covid prevention measures, like better ventilation and air filtration. but even more crucial, and much more difficult, is to do away with the ideology at the core of how schools are designed. just like how workers deserve sick leave, children need to be able to stay home when sick. no jumping through hoops for a doctor’s note to be accepted, no strict time limit. schools obviously know that 1 student staying home sick is less disruptive than 20 students being sick and unable to do their schoolwork. they know the math, but they aren’t after efficiency. just like companies know that happier workers are more productive. that’s not the point. it’s more obvious than ever what is choking our societies to death on every level.

i’ve seen university unions who’ve won teachers the right to demand masking in their lessons, the right to have air filters installed in their classrooms. the same needs to happen for K12 schools, especially since young children can’t advocate for themselves. parents could theoretically wield a lot of influence as well—but let’s face it, most are uninterested in or actively hostile to the idea of better air for their children. efforts to combat this need to be organized, sustained, and coordinated.

imagine how current children will feel once they grow up and look back and realize that their health was compromised before they even learned to speak, that they were born into a sick world, that they were born to be sick, not inevitably but because people preferred things this way.