#life is good today

[lilyoffandoms]

Crimes Drabble - Trystan x Lilah

Happy Birthday week, Dani!!

Warnings & A/N: No warnings. Lilah belongs to @storyofmychoices. The quote is actually “I said I liked it. I didn’t say I wanted to kiss it.” from In a Lonely Place.

“Ruby, not tonight,” I sigh.

My drink is smoky and the amber color reflects against my hand as I raise it to my lips. I close my eyes and savor the burn that trails down my throat. It’s smoother than my usual. Uncle Tommy left the good stuff at our table.

A birthday gift, for my favorite niece, he had said.

I’m your only niece, I had chuckled.

That’s why you’re my favorite, he had teased back.

Ruby’s playful tone pulls me back to the present.

“I only asked if you had, you know, any plans with someone tonight,” she grinned.

“My plan is to enjoy this bottle in peace and try not to think about the case load waiting on my desk for me tomorrow.”

“But you’d like to have plans with him tonight.”

It’s a knowing statement rather than a question.

“I admit to wanting quiet. And that will only be achieved by keeping him over there with Luke and you quiet.”

I give her a teasing pointed look.

“I have only question,” she waits my reluctant nod before asking. “Will tonight end in a kiss?”

“Ruby!” I groan.

I throw in an eye roll for good measure and but I can’t stop myself from looking over at him.

I try to keep my features schooled as she leans further across the table and just grins her silly grin at me. I seem the look before. I’ve seen the same body language. Hell, I’ve used the same techniques in the interrogation room.

She’s waiting for me to break.

“You do know that my profession, right? You know I can read tones and between the lines? I know all the tricks in that playbook.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” she smirks and keeps her focus on me.

I sit back in my seat and sip my whiskey again and smirk at her over the edge of my glass but not before my eyes dart in his direction again.

“As I suspected,” she chuckles. “You like like him.”

“I said I liked him. I didn’t say I wanted to kiss him.”

Not my finest defense but it will have to do because I’m unable to deny anything as he smiles that infuriating smile and walks over to me.

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[art-mybeloved]

i sit in the sun. i drink tea. i recieve a message from my friend. i read a book. i take a walk. i fall in love with life a little bit.

[insabecs]

☆- put this star in the inbox of your favorite blogs. Its time to spread positivity ! 🌷

this made my day <3 Daisy, it would not make much sense to send it straight back to you, but you know I would mean it <3 - I'll share the love by keep our conversation alive in a couple of hours ihih

[galaxystt]

man burns down local charity (he doesn't feel bad about it)

[selfhealingmoments]

[everysongineverykey]

good omens the book, 1990: see, queen is so ubiquitous in london these days that if you leave a tape in a car for too long, it'll inevitably morph into a best of queen tape. which is why their megahits are playing in crowley's bentley all the time! isn't that a funny and topical joke?

good omens the show, 2019-2023: yeah crowley's car has a hands-free call system and also only plays cassette tapes. yeah it's whatever don't think about it. what's an incredibly earnest and passionate queen love song we can play during this scene where crowley tries urgently to reach aziraphale

[briarfangs]

Cleo made her secret life family in her base ;; gosh that’s so so so good!!!!

[obsob]

oaugh kitties

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[chaotic-tired-fox]

JIMMY

[lesbaurinkos]

DanAndPhilCRAFTS - Slime

[greenlaut]

son of adam

[selfhealingmoments]

[annabelle--cane]

just learned that the mechanisms song "frankenstein" was originally conceived as part of a set along with adaptations of dracula, dorian gray, and jekyll & hyde. don't try reaching me, I am in mourning for what could have been.