#like . using up their food etc . that i rejected it for a while . which is dumb as fuck bc straight up rejecting to eat smns cooking

[oatbugs]

i am actually terrified xoxo

[harfanfare]

I like to think that romance with Idia widely differs depending on the time you’ve been in a romantic relationship.

1. “Just started dating” stage.

If you're reading Idia fanfiction, there is an 80% chance this is the stage your relationship is on.

Idia is… treating you like a very precious stranger. He's on his toes and seeks your approval in whatever he's doing. He is going to great lengths to understand the theory of dating and your hobbies - so you can maybe share even more interests - but won’t really act on anything.

He’s constantly surprised by every romantic move you make and you have numerous occasions to adore his cherry blush and various puckles of hair igniting with pink and red. He stutters a lot and can’t focus on anything in your presence.

Idia will outright reject any suggestions for bolder moves. He’s unprepared, and although guilt is eating him from the inside, he is not up to anything you two weren’t doing as friends. Well, maybe handholding, kissing, and cuddling get a (hard) pass, but you are the only one initiating these things.

He will try his best to reciprocate effort, though.

2. “Have been dating for a while” stage.

It’s an interphase between two very different stages, so he’s a funny mix: a very shy outsider and a cocky genius at the same time.

Gaming sessions will be the centre of your couple's time. Idia regularly invites you to his dorm, sometimes even on spontaneous sessions when a new event comes up or he has found a new game that looks very cool. You share snacks, drinks, and clothes (read: you have unwritten permission to claim his blouses).

This boy would be dead without you and Ortho, and with that knowledge, you make it your mission to (somehow) tidy up his room, buy some cosmetics, healthier food, etc. If you are up to organizing a “self-care evening”, he will be hesitant at first but will be looking forward to it after a while, with some older anime. (I like to think it would be a magical girl series like Sailor Moon, Tokyo Mew Mew or Chobits, or some shoujo).

In exchange, he might construct some little gadgets (maybe anime-themed?) for you, helps you get the merch you want, and supports you in your games.

At this point, he doesn’t weigh his words much. He’s still easy to fluster, but he comes with comebacks right away. The most flirty he gets on the phone when it’s late at night and you are using a chat to talk, especially when you are not in the same room. 3. Long-term relationship stage.

He knows you are doomed to him and shamelessly takes advantage of that.

He has no claims against calling you in the middle of the night to watch him sharing his screen when he pulls for a character he wants to get in the gacha system. He believes your presence brings him luck, so he must have you when he does crucial things!

Idia disses your taste in fictional men. Sometimes, he reads the dialogues out loud from the otome games you play. He may alter them, which can make you either huff or laugh. If you read or write fanfiction, he might read them too, giving you an out loud commentary on some fragments and asking you if you are that desperate for dates so you are sending fanfiction to inspire him. If you say yes, he will hum and return to whatever he was doing before, but he might plan something out that you will preferably be able to do in his room.

Chatroom with him and Ortho is quite calm, almost polite, but your private chatroom with Idia is the most chaotic one you’ve ever been. You learned to not leave your phone openly if you don’t want to explain some inside joke with a layered backstory. An app you use to chat with Idia is the one your screen time is counted on most, and writing with Idia is your guilty pleasure.

If you are interested in IT, he might program you an app or something to help you with it! He will give you the best feedback ever, and although it may be harsh, the last thing he wants is to discourage you from learning further.

On one anniversary of your dating, he will gift you this kind of couple bracelet which lights up if the other person touches it. He created them himself. When he receives signals throughout the day, he thinks of them as a promise from you, that no distance can sever your bond.

If you bring up some serious talk, you will be bullied with memes. It’s Idia’s coping mechanism. He will plan his future with you, don’t worry, but wait for him to muster up the courage to get on one knee and ask the question.

[walkawaytall]

I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

[moonyinpisces]

I am curious what you, a preeminent Aziraphale Understander, thinks about all the Final Fifteen theories i.e. the slew of theories that basically boil down to the F15 are not to be taken at face value, Aziraphale is either lying under threat or being manipulated by the Metatron via coffee or whatever, etc.

thank you for asking! it is a blessing and a curse to understand aziraphale but i will do my very best to put vibes into words. like everything he did in the final fifteen tracks to me, but i'll try to explain why in case people are still struggling with it. obligatory this is my opinion blah blah blah but if you disagree then make your own post so it's easier for me to ignore

anyway. here's the thing. i think textually it's pretty clear that aziraphale didn't have a choice. i think the show made that obvious with the "give me coffee OR give me death", the title sequence includes a coffee cup marching along with the other figures, this being a shared moment of materiality/consuming human food which was established as significant in "othering" angels/demons from their respective sides in the job minisode. the end result is meant to be a kinship to rationalize aziraphale agreeing with the metatron, as everything about the metatron in e6 was designed to 1. attract aziraphale 2. repel crowley

the repulsion worked on crowley, even just secondhand. he sees the manipulation and understands that aziraphale being used as distraction for the second coming is far more significant than what aziraphale believes he is capable of towards making any meaningful change in heaven. but i don't think the metatron's attraction worked on aziraphale. i don't think the end result we saw was aziraphale agreeing because the metatron was likable, and i think he's fully aware of the manipulation (even if he doesn't know about the second coming yet). just as, with the coffee cup, he is fully aware that he has no other choice. of course, this isn't a removal of autonomy to aziraphale; most of his character choices throughout the series are him working inside the idea that he he NEVER has a choice anyway (re: god's plan, ineffable or otherwise). and in this case, he knows just as well as crowley does that he was offered this position in heaven to be split up from crowley/earth for whatever reason; he just absolutely thinks that what he'll be able to achieve in heaven overrides however the metatron thinks he'll be able to be restrained/distracted. and in a much larger sense, he sees this as something he's meant to do via god

and aziraphale wants crowley to come with him. that's not fake or naive, and he doesn't think crowley will refuse bc their communication skills are quite literally the central conflict of the show. aziraphale is like, look how powerful we are together. look how much heaven wants to split us up. if you come with me to heaven, we are in a much better position of making meaningful change so we can have a peaceful existence together in the future, ON earth. which is what you clearly want. and i don't think this is a naive viewpoint to have like other people have said; i think this is confident. i think aziraphale is saying we can change the FOUNDATIONS of heaven, while crowley is saying the foundations CANNOT be changed. they are operating off two different modes of thought. and aziraphale uses crowley's perceived 'rejection' as fuel when he steps on that elevator, not out of anger towards crowley (at least not genuinely) but as desperate fodder to the fire that's been stoking 6000-so years of anger. in that moment (regarding the smile in the elevator), following the look to the bentley after he learns about the second coming and understands what crowley knew and was purposefully not saying, i just think that to aziraphale, crowley becomes another person to prove wrong

so ultimately did aziraphale have a choice? no. does he know this? yes. does he still make the decision to accept the supreme archangel position as if he had a choice? also yes. why? because he's insane (i say this with love). and also he has aligned himself with god more than he's ever aligned himself with heaven, and he's going to show everyone what he's capable of

[runawaycarouselhorse]

Our pure-hearted, all-loving hero... he can be a little brat (especially back in OS/early in his journey, when he was much more of a hot-blooded boy hero), but his heart's worth its weight in solid gold and he grows into such a kind, patient character with strong ideals, which is why Hero of Ideals suits him best (even the movie manga opted to adapt that version of the movie, rather than the one where Ash is Hero of Truth, and expanded on it!)

[I hope you have "long post" and "image heavy" muted if you need to, because this post's a doozy and given tumblr, if my blog's ever deleted, posts with read mores will be rendered inaccessible forever, so I don't like to make them!]

A lot of people complained about how young Ash looked in BW! (and complained even more about Sun & Moon's very divisive art style... and we wound up seeing great growth for his love of a whole region, and achieved a goal integral to achieving his dreams), but from the first episode of BW!, my first impression was of how mature and calm Ash is with Iris and Trip in regards to their initially abrasive and varingly aloof personalities.

Iris was friendlier and more excitable, more childlike, but Ash took her barbs in stride and patiently waited for her to open up about her dreams (she keeps it secret in the first episode, using that cute, childish word "naisho" instead of saying it's a secret "himitsu"--the same childish word she uses when asked about what Kairyuu/Dragonite told her in their reunion episode) and background (we don't know she ran away from the academy or what her hometown was like until season 2!)

The way Ash handled Tory (who was a traumatized, younger child--and Ash wanted to fight him at first, before understanding him!), Lucario (also traumatized, insulted Ash and Pikachu's bond--Ash fought him and fell off a hill, wrestling with him, before he saw Lucario's memory of being "abandoned" and broke down in tears, apologizing for what he said when he didn't know anything...), Chimchar (a traumatized Pokemon, Ash was patient, kind, and loving to him, even when he lashed out while out of control due to Blaze, which he previously could only use to save his life...), etc., is very different from how he handled Iris (who was bullied subtly by being completely ostracized, no one would sit or eat or play with her at the academy, she was so depressed, she stopped eating--this is canon and not lingered on, but she plainly says it and that her dorm mother making her food that would remind her of home, just berries skewered on a stick, "saved her") and even Trip.

(By the way, Ash apologizing to Lucario, in tears of regret over what he said to Lucario when he didn't understand him is when I first started to truly love and respect Ash's character and growth! Before that, I really was only a big fan of the TRio.)

By contrast to those rockier beginnings with other kids, Ash was patient and encouraging with Trip, even while Trip purposefully kept him and everyone else (even his Pokemon who loved him, as Alder said...) at bay and rejected all his attempts at friendship, before he got the answers he needed from Alder and slowly stopped shutting others out. He had every right to lash out at Trip for making fun of him, but kept trying to befriend him and showed interest in his journey and growth.

(Trip was also his youngest main rival at that point, even if he is a very book-smart child prodigy type who was an excellent battler from the start, he still fell apart in front of unexpected, unorthodox techniques like Bell/Bianca and Satoshi/Ash's out-of-the-box strategies.)

Naturally, there's also his very patient and encouraging bond with Lillie, who also had her trauma-induced fear of Pokemon (much like Tory!) and dissociative amnesia, the early loss of her father in infancy, and the distance between her and her mother (too wrapped-up in work and her obsession with Ultra Beasts to notice her own child's trauma and falling behind her peers...) to overcome, but the focus of this post is BW! I already write a lot about Lillie, she's another favourite of mine. <3

It's worth noting, too, that Pikachu was Ash's first "problem Pokemon"... even if it's usually the Fire types who are traumatized, Pikachu has abandonment issues like Chimchar and Tepig did. Pikachu famously hates being inside a pokeball and Ash always repesects this boundary and becomes very, very upset in XY when he believed Pikachu was forced into a pokeball... the pokeball factory episode was, otherwise, a very light-hearted episode, but Pikachu's boundaries and possible trauma is taken seriously.

This scene mirrors a similar breakdown Alain has when he finds out all he's done, under the impression he was protecting his loved ones, was aiding Lysandre's genocidal plans... both smash their fists into hard surfaces, blaming themselves for failing to protect loved ones.

In a very early Kanto episode, Sparks Fly for Magnemite, we learn Pikachu has abandonment issues so bad, he doesn't want to be separated from Ash for even an overnight stay in the Pokemon Center. It seems Pikachu (fortunately) quickly become much more secure in his bond with Ash and no longer fears being separated for medical treatment, but this is very, very sad and telling!

Although we never delve very deeply into that for most of the series... (an early magazine scan has Ookido-hakase/Professor Oak theorize Pikachu's previous trainer abandoned it), we were finally given some answers late in series!

In the AU movie, Pikachu says* his reason for not going into the pokeball: "It's because I always want to be with you." ;O;

... unless this is a dream or hallucination, given Ash is on the verge of unconsciousness when it happens--but if we really want to believe it happened, maybe his latent Aura post-cognition abailities kicked in and he understood Pikachu's feelings, like when Victini slept in his lap, crying, and Ash saw Victini's dream of his past.

As for the main series canon, in the first episode of Pocket Monsters 2019 (Pokemon Journeys), we learn Ash's Pikachu was a lone, possibly orphaned, Pichu, who was briefly raised by a Kangaskhan, carried in her pouch with her child, until he grew too heavy and quietly left at night (without saying goodbye) to live by his own strength, evolving into Pikachu as he did so.

If Lusamine not taking Lillie's (because they're irrational or not logical) feelings seriously gave her a complex where she always needed to claim her stances are "logical" even when they're based in emotion... I wonder what it tells us that "child prodigy" Trip defaulting to blaming his loss to Alder on him doing something wrong or being inherently lacking ("What did I do wrong? What do I lack?"), because he doesn't ever consider a simple difference in experience is all it is... that Alder's many years of wisdom and Pokemon training give him an advantage over rookie trainer Trip, who's shown to be averse to being called a "child" (Iris ropes him into battling Ash twice by calling him a kid), because he always has to prove he's an adult. He thinks there's something inherently "lacking" in him or "wrong" about his method if he doesn't achieve.

All of that is canon, but if you further analyze his character, Trip has a superiority complex, which is very often a defense mechanism to mask feelings of inferiority. He canonically places a lot of worth in the image he projects and constantly puts down others. Add that to being a child prodigy and his preoccupation with proving he's an adult (but doesn't bat an eyelid at someone calling him "unjust" for his violent methods in the Venipede episode, like he's already accepted being a terrible person, because he thinks striving for peace like idealistic Ash is "naive"--Trip has a very cynical view of adults, yet thinks of himself as such...)

Trip only cares to be seen as strong and mature, not good (he's not even surprised to be called bad, he's already accepted it, he doesn't care), and if he fails, he blames his lack of knowledge or his inherent nature as lacking.

Because his self-worth is in being a genius and being better than the rest, so he seeks outside validation, namely Alder's, who Trip behaves so jealously about, Alder canonically compares him to a fickle-hearted woman (well, he messes up the phrase 'Onna-gokoro to haru no sora.' "A woman's heart is as fickle as the sky of spring" because he was hitting on Junsa-san/Officer Jenny earlier, so he says "fickle as Junsa-san"... Freudian slip. ^^;;;;)

Trip, when asked what he was battling for, what he wanted to prove... he said it was to prove his strength to Alder.

That's all he wanted! To prove his strength and be acknowledged by his hero. Alder even asks him if he likes him. Adeku frankly asks it in the Japanese version, but the dub dances around with "do you have any admiration for a man such as myself"--which Trip doesn't answer verbally, although he really doesn't have to, because the scene makes it clear and is a lens that clarifies all his past behaviour.

That's all Trip wants: love and acknowledgement. Which he believed he could only get by becoming stronger, smarter, and more mature as fast as possible, likely taking Alder's to be some stronger and grow up quickly too literally, as head animator Iwane said, Shootie was just "a little too grown-up."

It takes a long, long time for Trip to unlearn prioritizing battles over anything else and to embrace childhood (which hey, is one of the main themes of BW!), because it's a precious time which we can never return to... so, Alder's current idealogy is to enjoy life, make friends, love Pokemon, and not dwell on the past. Ash's approach to being a Pokemon Champion and Master is the same.

Alder's introductory episode made it very clear he and Ash are very, very similar characters... and we see this again in Journeys, in the kind of advice Champion Ash gives younger kids. Ash and Alder have a similar wisdom they'd like to impart, I know, it's funny calling Ash wise, but he has high emotional intelligence and is incredibly wise in that respect for his age... it took Alder many, many long years to arrive at the same conclusion Ash reached.

Ash's Japanese name, Satoshi, means "Wisdom." (Another cute detail: Ash's little brother, Lei, whose Hawaiian name means a "Garland of Flowers-- in Japanese, would be pronounced as Rei, which also means "Wisdom." Lei likely has a name chosen to have meaning in both Hawaiian and Japanese. ^^)

Bonus shout-out to Ash, Iris, and Cilan all protecting Keldeo until he finds the courage to face his fears, correct his mistakes, and save his friends...

Ash is a very good friend, AG, DP, and BW! are all part of his development into the kinder character he became today. Some people might miss how rude he was to his friends in OS, but he can still playfully dish it out, he's just calmer and more sure of himself, so less likely to sweat the small stuff and recognizes when someone, whether Pokemon or trainer, just needs time and patience.

[vidavalor]

Bread: A Good Omens Sex Meta Thing

Let's talk Aziraphale and blasphemous sexual innuendo, shall we?

We are still going to talk about what the deal is with the Fish soon as promised but I wound up finishing this shorter one first. You do not have to have read my other metas to read this. NSFW under the cut.

What do *checks notes* Jesus Christ and Ella Fitzgerald have to do with Aziraphale's "get thee behind me, foul fiend" moment in 1.01... and how do they make it somehow even more delightfully filthy?

Probably as a result of putting on a show to sound angelic and demonic when speaking to one another in public, Crowley and Aziraphale seem to have a thing for using scripture, Bible references and/or Heavenly mandates as sexual innuendo.

It overlaps at times with their general love of wordplay and also their repeated use of destructive/apocalyptic terminology as sexual metaphor and innuendo, which is not unique to them but which they do a rather stellar job at. While all of these things are in multiple scenes and one of them-- the "seeds of destruction" scene in the car on the way to Tadfield-- is especially interesting and will be its own meta at some point soon, I'm not sure we've fully appreciated just how completely, gloriously obscene the "get thee behind me, foul fiend" moment in 1.01 is and that is largely what this meta is about.

In Good Omens, it's established in the 1.03 Cold Open that Satan himself didn't tempt Jesus Christ-- he sent Crowley to do it. While Crowley and Aziraphale witness the crucifixion of Christ, Crowley tells Aziraphale that he's the one who "showed him [Jesus] all the kingdoms of the world", which establishes that it's Crowley who tempted Jesus in the desert, in what would have been an attempt to claim Jesus' soul for Satan but which we can probably figure that Crowley wasn't particularly wild about, especially since he liked and admired Jesus. Spoiler alert for The Bible here lol but the story goes that Jesus rejected Satan, as you no doubt have heard. In Good Omens, this would then mean that Crowley failed to tempt Jesus, which he likely wasn't exactly heartbroken over.

Crowley appeared to tempt Jesus on three occasions and, throughout all of it, Jesus was fasting in the desert over 40 days and 40 nights. The first temptation was to turn stones into bread to relieve Jesus of his hunger. The second was to jump from a high cliff and rely on the angels to break his fall. The final temptation is the one that Crowley references to Aziraphale in the Golgotha scene-- to worship him in exchange for all the kingdoms of the world. Jesus rejected Crowley at every turn and so was spared from Satan claiming his soul in what is arguably one of the most famous stories that has ever been told in all of human history, right?

The way this relates to sexual innuendo in 1.01, though, is related to the first temptation of Christ, which was to try to get Jesus to alleviate his own self-imposed hunger. It was to try to get him to eat bread-- actual bread for actual hunger for food. In Ineffable Husbands Speak, though, bread is related to sex by way of it being euphemistic for participants in partnered sex. (See: Mrs. Sandwich, who arranges for different breads to come together; references to black bread, brioche, sourdough, etc..). In 1.01, when Aziraphale drops "get thee behind me, foul fiend" while inviting Crowley into the bookshop (and into him), they have just come from eating lunch and 'lunch' is also their word for a food kinky date that ends with sex, as we looked at in the Crepes post, which I'll link at the bottom of this post, for anyone who hasn't read it and is interested.

So, what we're saying here is that Jesus refused Crowley's offer of relief from hunger for food and we know from The Bible that, in rejecting the last of Crowley's attempts to tempt him with all the kingdoms of the world, Jesus said: "Get thee behind me, Satan" (all of Satan's ministers being referred to as "Satan" as they are-- theoretically, anyway-- of The Devil). Later in The Bible, it is noted that Jesus also repeats "get thee behind me" in an intentional reference to his temptation in the desert when admonishing Peter for being too concerned with "worldly" things and not things that Christ felt were "of God."

Aziraphale. Knows. All of this.

Not even just because it's one of the most famous bits of The Bible and because parts of what is retold in The Bible are things Aziraphale has lived through. Just to make it abundantly clear to us that Aziraphale knows the story and that it was Crowley in the desert, they gave us the 33 A.D. scene, in which Crowley directly tells Aziraphale that it was him who failed to tempt Jesus... which adds some layers to Aziraphale using "get thee behind me" in 1.01, no?

Aziraphale-- an angel-- is standing there in 1.01, intentionally saying to Crowley the same words that *Jesus Christ* used to reject Satan through rejecting Crowley's temptations-- and he's using those words of Christ to invite Crowley *to fuck him.*

After Jesus rejected the temptation of bread but Crowley and Aziraphale? They just went to out to eat...

Aziraphale is enthusiastically not resisting any temptations and satisfying all the hungers here lol. Which is the point--

--much like the "tempt you to a spot of lunch?"/"temptation accomplished" scene, they're joking about temptation.

Pleasures like food and sex are not a sin and Aziraphale happens to like having both of those things with Hell's most notorious tempter, whom they both know Aziraphale has wrapped around his finger. Aziraphale is not risking his soul to enjoy being with Crowley-- the stakes are not the same, nor are the temptations, as what Jesus faced-- which is Aziraphale's dirty joke. Aziraphale's partner is a tempter for Hell who takes pleasure in being with Aziraphale, an angel who rebels against the repression of Heaven and allows himself to enjoy the good things in life. Crowley and Aziraphale tempt each other as they find each other tempting, in the sense that they're attracted to each other, but they don't view alleviating hungers for food and sex with one another as truly sinful.

Crowley is loving every minute of it, of course. His sweet, kind, lovely, clever angel who is also just so very deliciously bad that he's using innuendo related to that poor bugger Jesus to talk to Crowley about what they want to get up to in bed. Aziraphale is all Jesus might have resisted you but I've no such inclinations.

That's profane lol.

You just know they've also had conversations about how hot Jesus was that included some smirky references to consumption of "the body of Christ" and a dry "amen."

There is another thing "get thee behind me" references as well-- something that I think is a sharper reference after S2 added in a connecting piece to it. Here's where Ella Fitzgerald begins to come into this...

In S2, during The Resurrectionist minisode, Crowley, at one point, quips to Aziraphale: "you say potato, I say 'excellent'", which is an example of one of Crowley's historical anachronisms. As we know, he sometimes says things outside of historic time and place and another musical example of this occurs in this same minisode, when he sings "O Flower of Scotland" before it was actually written. The "you say 'potato', I say 'excellent'" has the lyrical rhythm of the famous Gershwin song "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off." The phrases "you say potato" and "po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to" literally come from the lyrics of this song so Crowley's "you say 'potato'" in The Resurrectionist minisode is 110 years before the song was first written and performed in 1937.

The fact that this reference is happening in the scene in which Crowley has switched his accent to Scottish, causing him to pronounce things differently than Aziraphale, is also part of a joke that goes along with that song, which is a duet built around using the different pronunciations of the same words to illustrate the love between a couple who sometimes see things differently but actually adore it in each other and really never want to be apart. The lyrics also use wordplay to marry food with love throughout the song (yes, it really is the most Crowley & Aziraphale song that has ever been written lol) and include a line around oysters, which are more than a little relevant to Crowley & Aziraphale's story.

Maybe funnier is that if you take Crowley's "you say 'potato'" moment in The Resurrectionist and you add it to Gabriel's arrival in 2.01-- in which an enormous bin of tomatoes spills at his feet and roll into the street-- you have a further reference to "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off" because the first two lines of the song are centered around potatoes and tomatoes and what happens in the Gabriel scene? He turns around after putting down the box and the crowd gasps, right? There's been endless debate over what Gabriel's whole deal down below is and the show-- which basically couldn't show us even if they wanted to because it would up the content rating of the show past what the studios would prefer-- had an opportunity for ambiguity and took it. It ultimately doesn't impact the story they are telling if Gabriel was efforting in that moment or not or what kind of effort he was sporting-- the answer can be whatever you want it to be. The debate over it is very "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off", as it's "'you say 'to-MAY-to', I say 'to-MAH-to'". The end result of the scene is the same no matter what Gabriel's deal was in that moment, which is the point. To some extent, this is the show itself overall, too.

Okay, so why am I going on about Crowley's historical anachronisms in a meta about Aziraphale's blasphemous innuendo?

I'll explain how it relates to the "get thee behind me" moment on the other side of the song, which I've included in case you think you know this song but you aren't sure or if you do know it and just want to listen to some Ella. :)

I bring this up in a meta about biblical blasphemy because it's actually the second, subtle reference to Ella Fitzgerald in the series-- the first is actually "Get Thee Behind Me, Satan"... which is also an Ella Fitzgerald song from the 1930s. Specifically, it is an Irving Berlin song that was also, like "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off", written for film, during the same period. ("Get Thee..." was written in 1935 and first played in a film the following year; "Let's Call..." written & performed in 1937.) The fact that the Jesus-ish "The Resurrectionist" minisode had another subtle nod to Ella Fitzgerald might strengthen the idea that Aziraphale is also referencing the Ella Fitzgerald song in 1.01, as well as the Biblical story that it references.

Making things even more interesting is one of the possible reasons for Crowley's historical anachronisms in the series in the first place, which might be that they hint at some of the ways that our professional midwife/cobbler Bildad the Shuite has been subtly influencing humans towards different ideas throughout history.

There's another meta on my blog about a different reference that ties to this a bit and it relates to how some of Crowley & Aziraphale's dialogue during the scenes of The Blitz so far (both parts) reference the 1957 film 'North by Northwest', which had the same screenwriter-- Ernest Lehman-- as the film adaptation of 'The Sound of Music'. Since the film came out 16 years after Crowley & Aziraphale first said these things in 1941, the implication is that at least one of them might have known Lehman and the two of them are actually partly the inspiration for the main couple in the film. I talked in that post about how this is hinted at by Crowley's repeated euphemistic references to trains in S2, as 'North by Northwest' is responsible for originating trains-as-sexual-metaphor forevermore through some now very famous scenes.

If it's already canon that they knew classical composers and Shakespeare and such, it's not far off to suggest that this type of interaction continued into more modern times and that maybe the Gershwins, Irving Berlin and/or Ella Fitzgerald were people Crowley and Aziraphale knew whose work was then inspired by bits of their story. "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" could have been kicked off by one of them recounting (or Crowley repeating) the "you say 'potato'", which is bound to happen anyway, since Crowley and Aziraphale are so self-referential about their past in how they speak with one another, like every old married couple. (This would also be interesting as it might point to them in New York in the mid-1930s.)

So, right, Aziraphale and blasphemy, yes, yes, we're back to that now... :)

Mah point is that whatever you think of Aziraphale's present musical tastes, he was absolutely listening to the then-current music of the 1930s and Ella Fitzgerald is an example of an artist that both he and Crowley would have liked and still like. They both know these songs so, at minimum, saying "get thee behind me" to Crowley is potentially not just referencing Crowley and Jesus in the desert but also referencing this Ella Fitzgerald song and what's of note here is that this is a very sexy song that is pure, blasphemous innuendo in the best way. It describes a secret night of passion between a couple in a forbidden relationship as being unable to resist temptation by comparing it, just as Aziraphale does to Crowley in 1.01, to Jesus' successful rejection of temptation in the desert.

Lyrics like this:

Get thee behind me, Satan I want to resist But the moon is low and I can't say "no" Get thee behind me

Get thee behind me, Satan I mustn't be kissed But the moon is low and I may let go Get thee behind me

It's possible that Aziraphale suggested the Biblical metaphor to Irving Berlin at one point and the song is actually inspired by Crowley and Aziraphale, even if no one but them knows just how much. At minimum, Crowley is responsible for this song in GO in the sense that it wouldn't exist without his interactions with Jesus in the desert, which would also be enough for Crowley and Aziraphale to just have a thing about the song. "Get Thee Behind Me, Satan" also being from the mid-1930s means that it pre-dates "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square", so maybe there's even an element of this being one of their songs. At the very least, Aziraphale totally thinks of it as one.

...and have I mentioned that the last lyrics of the song are just the recurring Crowley line of "It's too late" repeated?

Someone I'm mad about Is waiting in the night for me Someone that I mustn't see Satan, get thee behind me...

First post in the 'GO sex meta things' series:

[forever-1895]

CALLING ALL Since I First Saw Your Face fans

Let's work together and post as many supportive things about this story so hopefully the author sees and feels motivated to update!

In case you don't know, Since I First Saw Your Face by Stavia_Scott_Grayson on ao3 (@artemisastarte on Tumblr) rewriting the Sherlock Holmes books from the point of view of Holmes. It very realistically develops the relationship between this iconic duo, taking into account the events which would have happened at that time in history (e.g. Criminal Law Amendment Act 1885, Jack the Ripper 1888, etc), and the period typical homophobia is shockingly well researched. Even the concerts Holmes & Watson go to actually happened at the times stated in the story.

At the start of each chapter, there is a painful (3rd person) recording of the time Holmes spent abroad toiling after Moran (the late Moriarty's right hand man) during the hiatus (after faking his death at the Reichenbach Falls); about how he wishes above all to return to England and see Watson again, whom he misses in extremity.

Holmes receives news from England via Mycroft (his brother), which updates him about the state of affairs in England. Apparently, Watson has been wasting away after his wife's & Holmes' death. Mycroft tells Holmes that if he doesn't return quickly, Watson may be no more.

However, Holmes cannot return, as some things still need sorting out. He does however, ask Mycroft to send Watson The Sigerson Papers, an account written by Holmes under the name of Sigerson about the things he experienced in Asia. Watson notices that Sigerson is a lot like Holmes, and asks Mycroft whether his beloved is still alive.

However, even after finding out Holmes is still alive, Watson's condition doesn't improve. He feels betrayed. 3 years of hell, and Holmes was lying to him the whole time. He still loves Holmes, but all the same, he is not pleased.

Mycroft sends to Holmes about this, and Holmes is torn between homesickness and the fear that Watson will no longer like him. Holmes bides his time in Asia, until one day a letter from Watson arrives, telling him that he knows that Holmes is scared to return for fear of how he might react, and that though he is angry, he still loves him and wishes more than anything to have him back.

After a section detailing Holmes in Asia post-hiatus, there will be a recounting of events years ago, starting from when Holmes first met Watson, who was very weak and ill after returning from the army. Holmes takes a liking to him almost instantly, though he tries not to show it. Holmes describes moving in together, and even pays their landlady (Mrs. Hudson) to provide extra nutritious food for Watson so he might recover faster.

Holmes helps Watson get over his Soldier's Heart (PTSD, I think), Watson accompanies Holmes to cases, Holmes plays the violin for hours on end just for Watson's enjoyment, they go to concerts together, and support each other when one is feeling depressed.

All while this happens, Holmes tells us of his struggles of hiding his sexuality and desire from Watson, the struggles he has fighting his drug addiction, and the struggles of being an invert (homosexual) in the late 18th to early 19th century.

We also have some VERY tense scenes for when Watson is being too kind to Holmes and Holmes is about to let his feelings pour out his mouth like a waterfall, but fear of rejection holds him back.

It builds up to Holmes & Watson first meeting Moriarty at a concert, and then all the trouble starts from there.

Moriarty is constantly trying to cause distress for Holmes, first sending an anonymous letter to the police accusing of the two of sodomy, a terrible crime at the time period, taking advantage of multiple female murders and framing Watson for having committed them, and though disproved, it shows how close Moriarty can get to Holmes without even appearing; it's always one of Moriarty's goons who does it for him.

Moriarty threatens Holmes to end his association with the good doctor at another concert some years later or he will never cease trying to condemn Watson, and sooner or later, he'll succeed in ruining him.

All this unfolds while Watson is chatting animatedly to a Mrs Forrester and a Miss Mary Morstan in another area of the concert hall...

And that's what's happened so far. There's a LOT more, but I don't have time to write it all 😝.

In conclusion, post-hiatus: Holmes is still in Asia pining for Watson, Watson is pining for Holmes in England, and pre-hiatus: Watson has just met Mary, and Moriarty is stirring up a ruckus. SO NOW DO YOU SEE WHY WE NEEEED AN UPDATE? IM DYING HERE!

and to make y'all feel better, in case you haven't read it yet, Watson does reciprocate Holmes affections

[reikunrei]

"More than just an ordinary human."

It's that time again! Another Doctor Who episode wahoo!! Let's check out season 3, episode 6:

"The Lazarus Experiment"

So, Lazarus is, obviously, taken from the biblical figure of Lazarus who was brought back from the dead by Jesus. The story of his revival is meant to exemplify the power Jesus has over death itself, but I won't be talking about that in-depth here; the Bible-talk is more James's wheelhouse lol.

As it applies to this Doctor Who episode, it's not so much about coming back from the dead, but rather about cheating death. Professor Richard Lazarus has created an invention, which he calls a "miracle" (the same word used by Patty in reference to "Henry's" powers in tfs), that will essentially de-age anyone who steps inside.

(Peeping the fact that he specifically mentions the moon landing like Mr. Clarke mentions it in st3)

However, there's a catch! He didn't do his proper research! He didn't account for all possible variables! And something in his DNA is trying to change him! (Another tfs word! We love to see it!)

Rejuvenating, you say? Even after the Doctor blows up Lazarus in his monster form and he comes out entirely unscathed? Golly, I wonder who that reminds me of! Anyway.

So basically what happened is Lazarus "changed his own molecular patterns" by "hack[ing] into his own genes" which is SUCH a NINA-ass word to use. Don't even remind me of all the computer stuff that's being pushed in the st5 leaks and updates. This has seemingly activated something in his DNA that's trying to make him change, and that "change" is a giant scorpion-like monster that is absolutely ravenous. Before the Doctor and Martha are looking at his DNA, we see a scene of Dr. Lazarus grabbing a finger-food platter from one of the waitstaff at his invention's unveiling and scarfs it down, saying he's famished, which the Doctor isn't surprised by (it's insinuated that he understands, at least loosely, what's happening because of the Time Lord's ability to regenerate, which always wears them out and makes them very energy-hungry).

In his monster form, Dr. Lazarus drains all the "life-energy" out of several human victims in order to sate his hunger, leaving an empty shell. (Insert Vecna consuming his victims to get stronger, insert "Henry" killing animals in tfs to sate the Shadow and it being much more powerful when "he" finally kills Virginia, insert Max being left an empty body without a soul/life, etc. etc., you get the picture. Not to mention that the Doctor equates it to "squeezing the juice out of an orange" ... I wasn't expecting a little st vr connection, but I'll take it!). He has little to no control over his transformation, and while he can feel it coming on, he can't just snap in and out of it; it simply takes over and he changes. The first time we see him transform, he writhes on the ground in agony and his wife asks if it's "some kind of seizure" (smash cut to "Henry" in tfs seizing).

Later, after some running around, being chased, and doing some thinking, the Doctor explains to Martha that this "thing" (Lazarus) isn't alien, it's "strictly human in origin." This form was becoming "dominant" because the process of de-aging himself likely awoke some dormant genes that "evolution rejected...millions of years ago...forgotten until Lazarus unlocked it by mistake."

A big part of this episode is about hubris. Dr. Lazarus is overconfident in his invention, and he spends ample part of the start of the episode dismissing the Doctor and Martha when they both warn him that something may be wrong/this may be more dangerous than he realizes. On top of Dr. Lazarus seeking out youth/prolonged life, much like the idea that Brenner is looking for some sort of power/immortality of some kind in st (barely even touching on the other weird stuff like Brenner not aging in tfs between 1959-1979), a lot of it made me think of El tearing into Brenner in 4.08, especially her emphasis on him being the monster, on all of this being his fault, all because he couldn't let Henry go. Brenner has constantly been presented to us, throughout all mediums, to be fairly stubborn and determined to get what he wants, even if the results are catastrophic (ie. the number of guards and orderlies who have died helping him with his child dungeon project, all of the children themselves dying in one way or another, even his own ass getting jumped by a demogorgon and then shot to bleed out and "die" in the desert).

Which leads into the other core aspect of this episode: humanity.

Throughout all of Doctor Who, the Doctor makes it clear that he finds humans utterly fascinating, especially in their mundanity. He emphasizes the importance of everyone's individuality and tells everyone they're special and important, even if they don't really "do" anything. Simply being who they are is what makes them matter; they don't need to be useful or supply anything groundbreaking in order to be amazing in his eyes. They exist as humans, and that's all that matters.

In this episode, we see Lazarus talk about how humans, as they are now, are basically inferior. While a large part of his motivations are about the money he'll make off of such an invention, we learn later that he has a distinct and deep fear of death and being defenseless against it. He wants to "change what it means to be human," to give them "a chance...to evolve, to improve" and to make sure he never has to face death like he did as a child: terrified and vulnerable.

We get the two following conversations between the Doctor and Lazarus, one at about the midway point of the episode before shit really hits the fan, and the other is near the very end of the episode after shit has really hit the fan.

This next one is split into several pieces to get in all the lines because they say a lot that jumps out as very important and distinctly Brenner, with some smatterings of One's monologue and some Henry-isms, especially from tfs, and the general presence of many of The Words.

I wanna point out that the Doctor being at the London Blitz is a direct reference to the episodes I talked about in my last dw post. And I find it incredibly interesting that a lot of the original tfs promo was heavily centered around church, like how this final standoff is in a cathedral, even so far as having Mr. Newby originally be listed as Father Newby, etc., despite the final play not being as heavy-handed with the religious imagery. Idk it's just itching something in my brain! I also wanna note that, since it's kinda hard to see here, the camera pans around Lazarus in a counterclockwise circle, following the path of the Doctor as he circles him, and we aaall know how st loves to use circling camera shots like that.

I especially want to touch on the second conversation the Doctor and Lazarus have in the church. The Doctor speaks to him calmly, trying to get him to understand and have compassion for the experience that is being human rather than trying to cheat it, and that living an exceptionally long life really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Even though Lazarus is now a "monster," he's still intensely humanized. He's killed at least four people at this point, but the Doctor doesn't go about simply trying to belittle, dehumanize, or kill him.

When it comes to Brenner, unfortunately, we still don't know much about his past, but we have a lot we can assume or extrapolate, at least based off what tfs has told us and the gaps we can fill in from st itself. We know, at least vaguely, that he and his father had a strained relationship. During the opening sequence of tfs on the USS Eldridge, we hear Captain Brenner talking to his other shipmates about how "it's my kid's birthday today, he told me he hates me."

However, later in the show, Brenner tells "Henry" that his father's return from Dimension X and subsequent death because of it compelled him to join Project Rainbow and devote his life to the cause and figure out what happened. With "Henry's" seeming ability to survive being infected by the Shadow, Brenner tries to tap into that. His main goal in tfs is to make contact with the Shadow and figure out what happened to his father, and since it's then explained that he made more children like "Henry" (specifically the immunity to the Shadow/the shared blood that supposedly gives them that immunity), it's clear he's trying to avoid is father's fate in that way. In short, it very much comes off as an attempt to try and cheat death.

Brenner, throughout the show, often presents what he does as good, both for the children in the lab and for humanity as a whole (though specifically for the US, focused on beating back those nasty commies). Even if he does bad things, it's for the greater good! He has good intentions! That's gotta count for something, right? /s

Both Lazarus and Brenner went into their respective experiments because they thought they could become better than human. Or in Brenner's case, at the very least he could live vicariously through his experiments to feel better than human, which was explicitly touched on in the vr game in clips like this one. As we also see in st4, El tries to call Brenner a monster, but when she relays this thinking to Vecna, he rejects it, and calls Brenner "an ordinary, mediocre man."

Shortly after that first conversation I showed between Lazarus and the Doctor on the rooftop, after Lazarus transforms, there's a sequence where, from inside Lazarus's machine, the Doctor is able to reverse the polarity of the capsule so it reflects energy rather than receive it, and it blasts Lazarus away, turning him back into human form and supposedly killing him.

Right away, with this comment from Martha, Lazarus is equated back to an ordinary human. He's not made to be the "big bad villain" where everyone is glad he's dead, nor is he made out to be this reverent being. He's someone to be pitied. It's decidedly solemn. He was just a man out of his depth who bit off more than he could chew... much like how Brenner is a man out of his depth who bit off more than he could chew.

I wouldn’t be surprised if we learned that Brenner was actively harming himself in his attempt to do… whatever. Much like how Lazarus was harming himself (and others) in order to maintain his new youth, Brenner may be harming himself with his experiments. Whether that be via blood transfusions/consuming blood (see the post I linked from Stav above), or by doing something as drastic as physically combining himself with one of the Henwards, I doubt anything 100% good and rewarding could come from it. Even if he's looking for something like regenerative healing, as we see in Vecna and as hinted by Brenner not being dead despite getting jumped by a demogorgon, what does he have to do to reach that point? What risks are there involved that he may not have accounted for, simply because he would have no idea that they exist in the first place? Just looking at the circumstances of the weird Brenward face combo we get in 4.07… he didn’t exactly wind up in a great spot after combining himself, did he? Plus, while I'm of the mind that Vecna and the guy we see shape the Mind Flayer are two different dudes (James and Em have other posts about this as well), the way it's presented to us implies that Vecna evolved from the MF guy, so there's a sort of compounding that changes in his appearance from mostly-human to mostly-infected-by-the-UD, which... also doesn't seem great.

We can already see how being infected by the Shadow affects people, which is highlighted in Henry not sleeping and barely eating when he's flayed. Hell, Brenner saw what happened to his father after he returned from Dimension X, and he took the lives of several test subjects (many of them children) in his own experiments. He already knows that there are risks and detractions in this work.

At the very end of this dw episode, Lazarus is finally actually killed. Using the organ in the church, the Doctor amplifies its sound using his Sonic Screwdriver to create "hypersonic sound waves" in order to interfere with Lazarus on a molecular level, which is more or less the same thing he did with his machine. Lazarus falls from a high balcony within the church, disoriented by the noise, and turns back into a human upon death. He even reverts back to his "correct" elderly appearance as the Doctor kneels over him and gently shuts his eyes.

We've already seen something similar to this sort of death with Brenner in st4. While I wouldn't say it was a soft moment for him, since El was still clearly rejecting him, she still leaned into his touch, still listened to him, and clearly was grappling with a lot of messy feelings. She, in that moment, wanted to view him as a monster, but she couldn't. Not entirely. That's her Papa! That's someone who, for most of her life, despite every horrible thing he did, took care of her; who said he loved her and held her best interests at heart.

In my mind, this sort of "soft end" is what we should expect for Brenner and Vecna in st5. It could be even softer than what we see in st4, because as much as Brenner deserves to have his shit absolutely rocked, we've been increasingly shown that he is only human. Human's are not monsters, but humans can do monstrous things. That doesn't make them inhuman. And, as people like James and Em have spoken extensively about lately, Brenner is likely but one cog in the machine that is the Cycles in this show, and not necessarily the source of the cycles to begin with. He didn't pop outta the womb wanting to build a child torture dungeon, but something happened to bring him there and cloud his judgement.

And even if the death is something more intense and dramatic like that of Lazarus, it's not necessarily something to celebrate, yknow? Even if the threat is gone (which is a very good thing), it took many horrible, avoidable things to get there in the first place, and that's what's tragic.

B-B-B-Bonus Round: Just Some Extra Shit

vs "Henry" going missing in Nevada for 12 hours per tfs. Martha has been on several trips with the Doctor thus far, so there's the added bit of "the passage of time is messed up" seeing as, for her, it's been several days, but to everyone else it's only been 12 hours.

All of the above is so... yeah lol. Lazarus is repeatedly very weird to the two young women in this episode, Martha and her sister Tish, and he even rejects his elderly wife in one scene when she kisses him and he tells her to "look at [her]self." The sniffing thing even made me think of the demogorgon being given the trait of "smelling blood" so... I see you, Brennergorgon.

I could've probably fit this bit somewhere above, but I'm too lazy, so it's going here instead. Love a good boiler room setting and talking about sacrifices!

"Always the mothers" just like how Brenner say it was always the mothers who came to him convinced their children had abilities or issues, etc. (plus just a little context for Martha's mom's "dangerous" comment: this season has an overarching hidden plot about the Master, who I touched on in another one of my dw posts, wherein he basically holds political power over the city (hiding the fact that he's a Time Lord) and is trying to sabotage the Doctor).

[tanadrin]

Putting an end to an oil exec wouldn't stop the machine. But that's a given. What does put a stop to the machine is people demanding their right to live outside of this disgusting system.

No, not running away to the woods like some libertarian bullshit, but dismantling the system. Refusing to lay our hands on our neighbor as the system tells us to do. Refusing to deny food, water, shelter and fighting to wrest such things from the stockpiles around us.

I should note I do not mean getting more money or a living wage. I mean for certain the food, water, shelter, etc.

To dismantle the system, you've gotta ask yourself what the system is. What the machine of capitalism really, really is.

Cause there's a saying: "we're all cogs in the machine". And I think people forget what that actually means.

It means the only cogs in this machine are us. We're the ones that keep this thing going. We're all the ones that oppress each other for one reason or another. And while some of us are malicious and wish the system keeps going out of pure sadism, the grand majority of us go with the flow and keep turning the wheel because that's what we know.

The system's hands are our hands. It's people from our population that become the legislator, the white nationalist, the cop, etc. That isn't meant to humanize their actions, but to point out the source of where the system's manpower comes from: us. All of us.

It's hard to actually put this in a way that doesn't sound wishywashy or not possible. But straight up, the way you stop the machine is by having enough people say "no, I won't turn that wheel". And also not letting scabs turn the wheel either.

That actually does shut down the oil refineries tomorrow.

I mean, I agree, but that's also not a trivial task. You have to organize, you have to connect with other people, you have to have actual positive policy goals and a positive political vision of the world to replace the status quo with. You can't just go "1. Totally dismantle society as it exists, 2. ???, 3. Utopia." And unfortunately the more you flesh out the ??? the more the thing you are doing looks like actual politics with all its messiness and coalition-building and compromise, which a lot of people--who are deeply invested in a very narrow sort of ideological purity--will reject out of hand.

[alkalineleak]

While im rewatching mcd, ive made a few notes for my own rewrite:)

the first episodes of mcd are very self referential and have the 4th wall/audience as a character and as a normal fic/project, i don't think the media im using will mesh well with that, so im gonna veto the "villages are unaware but aphmau is -> aphmau becomes detached from the 4th wall and becomes part of the story" thing. This means i have to actually come up with backstory for aphmau and phoenix drop.

Personally ive never liked her being Irene with amnesia. In rebirth, i didnt like how clueless she was and in the original, i didnt like how detached she was from the world. Instead ive been playing around with her being a shad descendant or an irene descendant (leaning towards shad). With the ro'meaves and levin and other characters with such heavy family ties, i feel like being a descendant is a lot more powerful bc itll implement this theme of family defining you.

The reason why im leaning towards shad is because theres a lot of other descendents from the divine warriors (garroth, travis, etc.) for example, levins a descendant of irene, which makes him a target of kidnapping, but he's one of hundreds ykn? meanwhile theres not many of shad? Or at least in the text there isnt. This would also make it so aphmau would have destruction and violence in her blood, and instead she's a force of good. I also think that being a descendant of shad would be really good as blackmail? Like if the public found out, theyd villainize her, or maybe zane could put her in a bind later on when he's introduced in season one.

Now to actual episode by episode notes, my current idea is her being a hunter. She's lived secluded in the woods for some time for Some reason i havent come up with yet, which gives her reason to be able to do carpentry, farming, identify edible foods, and fight on her own. Also, with her amount of isolation, she's fairly paranoid and scared to be rejected. This means that when she arrives in phoenix drop, she's afraid of being kicked out, so she helps out in exchange for staying there (she's the only one who thinks this is a debt ). I think this state of mind will make her connect with zenix a lot more later on. ALSO her paranoia makes her hard to interact with, explaining why emmalyn didnt like her...

That's all i feel like explaining rn :33

[esther-dot]

targ stans are a bizarre breed of fans. like i get having problematic faves. majority of us have them.

one would argue loki that tumblr once obsessed over is a problematic fave but targ stans mostly see no wrong in their favorites. from not seeing the characters for what they are (i would enumerate but it's a long list) to just cyber bully real life people who don't like targs in general. it feels cultish.

I’m not involved in the Marvel fandom, so I don’t know how they treat Loki, but when I saw fans saying, not just after GoT 8x05, not just after the finale, but even now, “Dany did nothing wrong” and “I stand with Dany” or in other words, “let the children burn” --it does strike me as, uh, worrisome? And then for those same people to harass, threaten, hack, dox etc other fans...well, yes, it does make them seem extreme!

My impression of the Marvel movies was that they weren’t particularly consistent with their framing of things. Civilians were only dying when buildings collapsed when the writers decided they did, before that, it was largely a consequence-free story for the heroes. That’s something other comic book stories picked up on and ran with, and Marvel started writing differently at some point. GoT, even as it veered away from ASOIAF, still had some morals it loosely operated with, the discussion of civilian casualties and injustice was not simply presented somewhere in the story, but specifically presented as a criticism of Dany by other characters from s1 on which meant we had some in-world red flags and guidelines that the fandom chose to dismiss. And even in the gear up to the finale, we had even more thrown on the table, but they fandom still insisted on ignoring her threats about leveling a city, burning POWs alive, destroying the food that would see people through the winter...So many things in the story that indicated Dany was on the “bad guy” (not charming rogue) end of the spectrum. While fans used every misstep of certain characters to condemn them, they refused to apply the show’s own rules/standards to her.

So, it isn’t that they love Dany while knowing what she was/what she was doing (which was how people I know talked about Loki), but that they, like a cult of personality, changed the rules to be as she dictated, rather than holding her to any standard. It was particularly gruesome because they wanted other characters killed for “justice” (anyone they believed wronged Dany) and truly don’t seem to think any of the civilians in KL deserved the same. It’s a shame that ASOIAF was adapted into a story that brainwashed people into thinking that murdering anyone who didn’t welcome their conqueror was reasonable.🤦🏻‍♀️

The ASOIAF / GoT fandom seem pretty inclined to create and revere BNFs, I’m guessing because of the absence of new canon content? They’re ravenous for new ideas? Which allowed this problem of a thought leader + lemmings, so then you not only have the love for the character, but the development of a “doctrine” and how you are (or are not) permitted to interpret things? I think that feeds into the Dany fandom extremism. When you lose the ability to question your opinion, to change your mind, that’s where the problem is born.

To prevent that kind of weirdness, it’s good to remember that Martin hasn’t written what happens next yet. We know King Bran and R+L=J, we know about Shireen and Hodor’s deaths (kinda), the fandom overall accepts Dany burning KL, but we know precious little else. Much of what we argue over is locked away in Martin’s mind and he has mentioned that what he intended to do is evolving as he writes. Good! That means the characters and story are still alive for him, speaking to him, wonderful! But it means for us as a fandom, we must remain open-minded. Reject the notions that go against everything the man has written (mass murder is ok when Dany does it etc), but stay alive, allow your thoughts to evolve along with the growth of the characters and their story. Consider new ways of interpreting things. I’ve said in the past that the best part of the Jonsa fandom was that as long as there was a general agreement about certain themes and characters, there was a lot of space created for good faith disagreements about interpretations of certain passages / foreshadowing / spec. It makes the fandom fun, it allows new insights, it prevents the weird cult stuff.

All that being said, I have seen clips of Aemond from HOTD, so I understand the appeal of problematic favs. That kid wears evil well. 😂

[charmac]

I can’t start thinking about Dennis taking Mac to the hospital after his allergic reaction and looking after him once he’s home and secretly loving it. Once Mac is better which was sooner than Dennis had hoped, he missed the closeness. So he invented Johnny.

Hmm interesting idea! It makes sense that maybe he enjoys pathetic Mac sauntering home to him with his favourite food, looking for a little comfort, and there’s some connection between caring for sick Mac, the SINNED System, and Johnny’s ghosting, but in terms of ‘inventing’ him…

Personally, I feel like Johnny has existed for at a minimum a few months (and might be a character Dennis had already been using to pick up men on Grindr without ‘running into’ Mac). Mac complains he hasn’t heard from him in awhile and that he’s been ghosted more than a few times, been sent on errand dates for him, waited in many motels, etc. Clearly he had time to get attached, talked into buying a toy, using the toy many times (and constantly) and getting consistently rejected and brushed off.

Inflates is realistically only a few weeks or so between the events of Russia. In terms of production order, they actually take place back-to-back, which brings in an interesting idea that maybe Mac was using/eating the nuts as some display of harming himself a little in an attempt for attention/to be seen as he’s actively being ignored and ghosted by Johnny. (Not to mention the blowing jokes: Mac finding them homophobic (frustration, he’s not been able to suck Johnny’s cock yet) while Dennis is delighted in entertaining himself (perhaps alluding to conversations Mac has with Johnny, dropping hints…)

To me, the opening of Frank v. Russia with Mac and Dennis made it clear Dennis had reached a point where he wanted to fade Johnny out of Mac’s life. He’s frustrated by whatever discussion they had in the office, refusing to speak on it any further but resolving to help Mac find a way to get over him.

Johnny served a purpose, but it got tired and unrealistic to hold up as Mac became more and more needy and whiny and definitely sexually frustrated, and Dennis’ frustration matched Mac’s own. I believe the outburst and reveal was a combination of not being able to grow a pair and meet Mac at the motel, Mac not figuring out the hints he had been dropping, and Mac burdening him on both sides of the relationship (Johnny where are you? Johnny, I need you please. Why won’t he text me back, Dennis? Help me, Dennis.)

It’s clear they’re both in desperate need to take care of each other (and have the other do the same) and they want to fuck badly, but Dennis won’t admit any of it, never to Mac, often not to himself. They dance in circles wearing their masks and playing their games, stuck in a stunted cycle of will-they-won’t-they, all in response to Dennis’ inability to admit the truth. He cares, wants to care for and be cared by. He has big feelings for Mac, but they’re so incredibly warped by his fucked up relationships and systems and processes that he can’t move forward.

How’s this all going to culminate? How will this come out at the end, is Dennis’ Mental Health Day the resolution, or is it going to be the explosion that takes him to the brink, hits the reset, and sends us into his next era? Dennis has something so raw and deep bubbling inside him that he just can’t get out, it needs to come out.

[aemontargaryen-bloodraven]

Hey,

This is my first time asking a question and I’m fairly new to the fandom, but what do you think about people claiming that Sansa and Jon are very similar and have the same ambitions?

Hello, first off, sorry I couldn't reply before. I might just go off the rails with this one Anon.

Jon and Sansa are not similar, they grew up in the same castle and had some notions about the outside world (as did all Stark children) which are shattered in AGOT itself.

Jon thought the Night's Watch was an honorable place and Sansa thought that all knights are good and noble, Kings and Queens are great and kind and not capable of doing any harm. That's it. That's where the similarities end.

In Jon's Chapters in AGOT, GRRM takes Jon's beliefs and unravels them one by one. Jon observers, he learns and modifies his behaviour accordingly.

On the other hand, we have Sansa who inspite of overwhelming evidence that her worldview is flawed, refuses to change it.

She expects Cersei to have mercy, Joffery to be kind to her even after the Trident incident and is still besotted with Joffery until her father's head ends up on a spike at the end of AGOT.

There is no comparison between Jon and Sansa.

Jon goes to the Night's Watch without ever knowing what it was. No one tells him the truth except Tyrion. He is angry at first, yes and he does take it out on other recruits. (Going off the rails here because I need to talk.)

But the fact that Jon's sudden anger and his disappointment makes people just go around and say that he was a brat just like Sansa and he needed to be brought down a peg because he is a bastard irks me alot.

Yes, there is no justification for Jon taking out his anger on his recruits and it was wrong for him to do so and Noye was right to call him out on it. But most times, I think people forget the fact that Winterfell (no matter how desperately they want for it to be Jon's home) wasn't his home.

As a Noble bastard, he fit nowhere, not with the highborn and not with the lowborn. Catelyn's resentment of his skills left a mark on Jon and I believe he was reenacting his trauma here.

She was looking at him the way she used to look at him at Winterfell, whenever he had bested Robb at swords or sums or most anything. Jon XII, ASOS

"They hate me because I'm better than they are." Jon III, AGOT

Jon grew up knowing that life is not fair as he tells Arya and is not a song, but he was sheltered by what the truth of the Night's Watch was. However, when it was told to him, he accepted it.

Jon Snow set his mouth in a grim line. "If that's what it is, that's what it is." Tyrion II, AGOT

Meanwhile, Sansa takes an entire book (at the end of which her father is executed because she ratted him out to Cersei) to learn that Joffery is not the Prince Charming she thought he was and Cersei is no benevolent Queen.

As of ADWD, Sansa's ambition is to host tourneys, host extravagant feasts and have 12 feet long lemon cakes made for her. While Jon's goal is to try and have food for the Night's Watch, to save and feed the Free Folk, make glass gardens so the North has food for Winters, conduct science experiments on the dead men to learn more all the while preparing the realm against the Others etc. He has no time for his personal ambitions. He was tempted (Stannis's offer) but he rejects it because he will not burn down his father's gods.

Jon exists as a whole another character seperate from the rest of the realm and yet with 41 Chapters because at the end of the day everyone's story will be culminating where he is right now. Sansa on the other hand, at this time is playing a part in Littlefinger's story. I have no doubt that she will bring him down, I say that because of her parallels to Cersei.

Catelyn defenders and also most Stansas love to say that Jon should thank his stars that he was dealing with someone like Catelyn and not Cersei. Well I think that should be applied to Littlefinger. He should beware, for he is not dealing with Catelyn's daughter but Cersei's protege.

So I am not sure who these people are who say that Jon and Sansa are very similar or whatever. They crave family? Daenerys wants to have a family. They want to come home to Winterfell? All Stark children including ultimately want to do that.

So, whoever says that has absolutely no idea what they are talking about and have not read the books (which is usually the case with Jonsas and Stansas.).

[ashes-writing-corner]

So yesterday I brought up the idea of writing a dragon rider/fantasy AU and come up with basic ideas/headcanons for it. I'm here this morning to do just that, starting with Simon and his dragon Brightfire because I'm biased, obviously lol

Simon and Brightfire Headcanons

Simon

1. Was (supposedly) abandoned as a baby on the steps of the Dragon's Keep because of a deformity of his skin.

2. He has patches of scales on various parts of his body, including his face which is why he wears the mask in this AU.

3. Lives in Dragon's Keep, serving as guardian to the hatchery, but is every so often commanded to go out and do work for Nova (the dragon queen who raised him), which he does gladly, as it's mostly spying or the VERY rare occasional assassination.

4. Is known as the Dragon Keeper because of his position, as the only human to live in Dragon's Keep. People have also taken to calling him the Ghost of Dragon's Keep, as some folks believe he's not even really alive because of his quiet and somewhat unnerving nature.

5. Was raised by Nova alongside other hatchlings, so he sees the youngest dragons as his siblings. He respects the older dragons, viewing them as uncles, aunts, and cousins.

6. While most respect Simon for his position, others see him as a sort of pariah, someone who rejected his own humanity to live alongside the scaled, fire breathing beasts.

7. Not so secretly admires Princess Lyra, heir to the throne of Athana, who treats Simon like anyone else, and is his best/only human friend at the beginning of the story.

8. Is the last of the group to get a dragon, as he feels he doesn't deserve one and he doesn't feel like they should be used that way. He doesn't mind that Riders exist, he just thinks there's a few ethical issues surrounding it.

9. As the closest to the dragons, he knows the most about them (how they think, how their culture is structured, etc), and he knows their stories and myths. He's remarkably tight lipped about it, unless given permission from Nova to give this information to his fellow Riders.

10. Is chosen by Brightfire due to his bloodline and the parallels between them...

Brightfire

1. After Nova, he's probably the oldest dragon in existence.

2. Was the first dragon to ever be ridden by a human, and together they started the Riders.

3. According to legend, he and his Rider used the last of their power to imprison a great evil that threatened the kingdom, and potentially the world, so everyone at first thinks he's dead.

4. Bright has lived as mostly a wild dragon since his Rider died, losing most of his "human" side and living/thinking more like an animal for the past two millenia.

5. Was also raised by Nova, though he isn't biologically hers. Like Simon, he still feels a sense of loyalty to her.

6. Hasn't made an appearance in two millenia and most people think he's dead, though he often showed up in Simon's dreams carrying a dire warning.

7. While all dragons have a sort of telepathy, Bright can project his thoughts and feelings into others around him, not just his Rider. In a sort of mirror to this, Simon can understand all dragons, regardless of whether or not their Rider is present, while other Riders can only understand their own individual mount.

8. Has a hard time trusting most humans, but is deadly loyal to Simon and, a little later, princess Lyra. He also grows to care deeply for Price, Gaz, and Soap.

9. His fire is white, with streams of gold and silver in it.

10. He technically should be the biggest dragon in existence, after Nova, due to having unlimited space and food, but because of his fractured mind, Bright's growth is paused until he meets and has his first flight with Simon.

And there we have it! I have the others planned out too, if anyone wants to see anyone else! All dragon pictures I include in this series are drawn by Kenny Kwan Brenes (kennykwanarts on Instagram, seriously go show them some love because their dragon art work is just...immaculate!) I don't own the art, I just own ideas for dragon characters and a few human characters. Thank you ^^

[fleshdyke]

listen i get the appeal of parrots as pets and everything. i work at an aviary that has a bunch of parrots. i really love them and i wouldn’t trade them for anything. but i will never understand why some people are so adamant about getting a parrot specifically. like when faced with the option of a parrot vs a pigeon.. i don’t get it. i really don’t. because pigeons are literally already domesticated. they (and other fowl like chickens, geese, ducks, etc) are the bird equivalent of like, a dog. it’s a dog vs a fox, pretty much. and i get that it’s “cooler” to have a parrot or a fox but like… when it comes down to the wellbeing of the animal as well as your own mental well-being, literally why wouldn’t you choose the domesticated option. the domesticated animal is always going to be happier than a wild animal in your home. wild animals have such insane needs that are often pretty much impossible to meet in captivity, especially in just someone’s house. wild parrots fly miles and miles and miles every single day. while captive parrots can be healthy without this, it’s so important for their mental health as well, and you just really cannot provide that in your house, and free-flight training is incredibly advanced, difficult, and dangerous. pigeons have a pretty soft cooing noise (they’re honestly one of the quietest birds, like, ever), and while they can coo a lot and it can get annoying to some people, it is nothing like the scream of a parrot. i’ve literally gotten hearing damage from working with parrots because of how loud they scream. a well-socialized pigeon that spends most of its time out of the cage will only really need a dog kennel as a cage with a square/flat perch and water and food. pigeon lofts are definitely more complicated, but you can design a walk-in pigeon loft with space for them to fly around and a warm place to sleep if you don’t want that much interaction. pigeons don’t need that many toys, and they’re absolutely nowhere near as destructive as a parrot. parrots will literally rip apart your walls if they’re left unsupervised. one cockatoo i work with has been known to pull nails and screws out of the walls at night because that’s how far he chews into the wall. pigeons will maybe mess up some papers in a stack. pigeons are *just* as loyal and affectionate and intelligent as parrots are, they can be trained to perform really incredible tricks (there’s a pretty famous tumblr post about a pigeon that was trained to recognize and read gluten on food labels and reject the package because pigeons are incredible at pattern recognition. pigeons are also being used in cancer research and are incredible at recognizing cancer really early on). parrots require a really complex diet, and sometimes they’ll fully reject some foods which makes it even harder to feed them. pigeons basically need a lot of seed and exercise. parrots are really, really, *really* prone to all sorts of mental health issues because they simply are not built for captivity. the way their brains work makes them often see their owner as their mate, which can cause them to try and woo them/mate with them, which causes really severe problems when their advances aren’t reciprocated, and it can cause plucking, barbering, aggression, screaming, self mutilation, etc. pigeons don’t really have that - sometimes they will masturbate on you. it’s very awkward but it’s a thing they do but in pigeons and other domestic birds, it’s fine. it won’t cause them any harm, it’s probably just a little weird for the owner (it’s not necessarily something to discourage, but you also probably shouldn’t really be encouraging it either because that’s weird). letting a parrot do this however can be extremely harmful. also petting a parrot anywhere other than their head or feet is seen as sexual advances, and can again cause really bad behavioural issues. petting pigeons anywhere is fine, this also goes for other domestic birds (this is a big one for me personally because i have always wanted to pet under a bird’s wing, but this is a HUGE no in parrots).

idk. there’s way more that i’m not thinking of right now but it’s 2:30 in the morning and i’m tired. i just will never understand why so many people are so deadset on getting a parrot when objectively they are just bad pets. they’re not domesticated, and they never will be - there are certain animals that just aren’t suited for domestication (we know this because we’ve tried) and parrots are one of them, along with raccoons, possums, foxes, etc. parrots aren’t good pets. their existence in the pet trade is absolutely sinister. let the breeders and the pet stores go bankrupt. get a pigeon from a reputable breeder

[mdhwrites]

Monster Month for Amphibia?

I give no promises but like I've done a Lumity monster week back in 2022, I just like doing monster girl stories. Or stories with monsters in general. I floated the idea of being given ideas a little bit ago to my Discord but thought I'd ask here now: Any monster/character combinations you'd like to see me do something with? Some thoughts I've considered over the couple days I've considered it: Marcy as a ghost: Anne and Sasha, challenging each other to be brave, find a haunted house and have to deal with a ghost whispering in their ears until finally they scream at the ghost to just kill them, at which point Marcy shows up to explain that she's not that sort of ghost. She was just trying to tell them neat things, answer their questions and warn them about the faulty parts of the house. She's just kind of shy, especially because they're both so pretty. Werewolf Sasha: Starting with Sasha gaining the werewolf curse, she faces potentially the ultimate sacrifice of her control as she has to face being powerless against the curse. Worse yet, Anne, the one she always thought her second in command, is now pushing back against her. Info from Marcy though helps her start seeing the joy of the egghead's gushing. Ends with the girls helping Sasha find peace with her wolf side by not pushing her away when Grime shows them her in her full wolf form.

Fr-Anne-kenstein: This is admittedly mostly a Marcy story despite the name. Marcy is a starving artist and researcher, pushed to desperation as she steals for food, then for laboratory pieces and then bodies for her anatomy research. With how everyone treats her though, it pushes her to make a friend. When she sees Anne's innocent eyes, the most beautiful things she's ever seen, she runs off, believing herself unworthy of ANYONE, let alone that. She had hoped them being a monster would make it okay but it does not. Anne sees the effort in making a party for her Marcy put together and after talking to Marcy who put herself in a grave, they decide to both give Marcy a chance. Possibly ends with Sasha getting made as a joke towards the Bride of Frankenstein.

Also, yes I know Frankenstein is the scientist but Anne as a scientist... I guess KIND OF happens eventually but mostly no. XD

Maddie the Witch: This one is a fun one for me meta wise as well as concept just because the idea is to actually use the frogs in a human AU like the Halloween Amphibia episode. Maddie has a problem. Sprig is a ball of sunshine who doesn't seem to live horror, creepy things, etc. like that. Even at 11 years old, Halloween to him is more about Trick or Treating than spooky costumes and movies. This is the boy Maddie, lady of the occult and master witch, has fallen for and is TERRIFIED of just being rejected outright if he knows the truth. Maybe if she wears her witch garb while they go door to door for candy, she can feel things out with him, even if she's surprised he was even willing to have her go out with him for this.

Like I said: I REALLY like me monster stuff, possibly because I like playing with their unique traits, the fear of being other, how they can contrast against humanity, etc. Hell, this actually wouldn't be the first time I've done this sort of thing for Amphibia since I did a one off for Cutetanuki's werewolf AU a good long while ago now. Three if you count when I had Marcy create a sculpted Sasha and when I made Marcy a clockwork creation (which I would like to still get back to someday).

But yeah, consider this an open call for concepts, monsters, etc. to play around with so I can try to use October as an excuse to tell myself to breathe and play around with that which lurks in the dark.