#like I don’t even trust easily but I’m putting my faith in you that if we are doing a business transaction and I give you something

[ghost-proofbaby]

twenty four hours (modern!eddie munson x fem!reader)

HOUR TWENTY FOUR

in which you and eddie win the bet.

→ tropes: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, slow burn

→ warnings: strong language, upside down does not exist, minors dni

→ wc: 7k+

→ a/n: oh, holy fuck. holy fucking shit. i have no words, because i know it's not really over yet (we still have an epilogue, friends! don't forget that!) but... i did it. i finished another fic. that's just... insane?

thank you to everyone who has been so very kind and supportive of this fic. i owe you all the world. i'm sure i'll either make a sappy post between now and thursday, or i'll get extra sappy in the a/n on the epilogue, but for now - please know you have all my love. <3

masterlist.

spotify playlist.

◁ previous part, next part▷

24:00 ─────────────── ㅇ 24:00

DINGUS: hey, i facetimed them for last hour’s proof. had to work out when they wanted me to head over and pick her up. 

BIRDIE: both still alive? both still well? 

DINGUS: so it seemed. 

ARGYLE  😎: what a relief! I knew they had it in them

JOHNNY BOY: They still have to last one more hour. 

NANCE: They’ll last the hour. Have a little faith, babe. 

JOHNNY BOY: Still don’t like the fact we’ve just started calling them instead of requesting the photo proof. I mean, how do we not know they’re lying? Did you talk to both of them when YOU called, Nance? 

NANCE: Yes, I told you guys that.

NANCE: Besides, you guys already know that Eddie hates having his picture taken. We’re lucky we ever got picture proof to begin with.

DINGUS: also i JUST facetimed them??? physically saw them?? your lack of trust in me and nance kind of hurts jon

BIRDIE: @NANCE hey can you call ME babe next? 

HOUR TWENTY FOUR – 4:00 PM

“Hey there, love birds. Glad to see you didn’t kill each other.”

Steve. 

You wait for Eddie’s arm to leave you, for him to put space between the two of you, but he doesn’t. He keeps you pressed flush to his side as if the sudden arrival of a friend doesn’t make the slightest bit of difference. 

“Hey, Harrington,” he even casually greets first. 

He’s making no move to get up off the floor. 

Just a little bit longer. Let me sit here and live in this moment a little bit longer.

“Munson,” Steve nods to Eddie before setting his sights on you, “Doll. Nice to see you, kind of glad I’m not having to fish you out of the canals.” 

You feel it — Eddie’s arm tenses behind you ever so slightly at Steve’s nickname. Clearly, it’s still a sore spot for him to work through. 

“I was feeling generous,” Eddie shrugs as if he hadn’t just revealed a flash of jealousy to you. You’re not even sure if he knows that you felt it. But it was there, in the slightest tightening of his grip and the flexing of his bicep behind your shoulder.

“Generous? I think you were feeling friendly,” Steve waves his hand between the two of you, as if he thought he was pointing out the obvious. 

If he thought this was close, he’d faint at the imagery of you on the kitchen counter, Eddie’s face between your legs as he begged for you to let him touch you. 

Just as you had noticed Eddie’s jealousy, he notices the way you suddenly heat up, shifting in your seat ever so slightly. That pull on the corner of his lips tells you all you need to know. You kind of hate how easily the two of you can finally read each other. You kind of love the way he’s looking at you as if he’s thinking the exact same thing. 

“Do I get my free punch now?” you finally speak up, tone flat as you muster a glare in Steve’s direction. You’re forgoing all polite and pretend oblivion. 

Every single one of you here knows what happened. The bare bones of it, at least.

Eddie looks at you curiously, “Excuse me?” 

Steve only grins, holding out his arms as if welcoming you, “Take your best shot.” 

You stand quickly, and Steve even flinches. He clearly had thought it was all a bit, but you were deathly serious. After the night you’d had, you wanted to punch something, anything. 

“Hold on,” Eddie fumbles to follow you as you stand in front of Steve, your eyebrow cocked as you pause, “Hold on, why are you punching Harrington?” 

“Oh, I don’t know. ‘She’d never go for me, why would she go for you?’” you remind him, and fully expect for hurt to flash across his face. Instead, merriment continues to tug on his lips, “That ring a bell?”

“It might,” Eddie drawls, slowing down his movement to stand more casually, no longer in a rush to break up the fight. His eyes flash with something, with some sort of affection as your hand curls into a fist threateningly and you continue to glare daggers at Steve, “‘S cute to see you defending my honor, sweetheart.” 

Your knees almost physically wobble. The nickname that once struck such anger and irritation in you has become your favorite thing, something that can so easily elicit such a physical reaction. Any taunting has dissipated from his tone when he falls from his tongue now. Adoration takes its place.

Steve looks between you two for a second before his face twists up, “God, I think I liked it better when you two hated each other.” 

“Never really hated each other,” Eddie corrects Steve, but his eyes never leave yours. 

“Right, must have slipped my mind.”

One of the questions that had been torturing you has now been answered — Eddie would, in fact, be acting differently around your friends. It’s almost enough that you feel no need to punch Steve.

Almost.

“Where do you want it?” you tear your gaze from Eddie, looking back to Steve now expectantly, “Cheek? Nose? Chin? Jaw?”

Steve’s eyes widen. “My God, have you just been dreaming of this moment for the last hour?”

“I have.” 

Eddie leans back against the wall, still watching and still smirking as he crosses his arms. 

“I know Eddie’s your boyfriend now but-“

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you correct him quickly, but something inside of you twists at saying that.

He wasn’t your boyfriend. You two had just agreed you’d need time apart before even thinking of exploring what this new chapter will bring you two. So why does it feel so wrong? Why do you suddenly feel like a pathetic teenager, desperate to bestow some cheesy title upon her crush? 

Eddie nods when you suddenly look at him, as if he can read your mind, “I’m not her boyfriend. Just… her scary dog.”

Scary dog privilege. And God, does that moment feel light years in the past now. Years ago rather than hours ago. His promise to protect you suddenly rings truer now. If you ever did find yourself in trouble, you knew he’d answer your call. You knew now why his protection only extended to you. You finally, finally understood.

“Scary dog?” Steve squints at Eddie, and his judgmental demeanor has fully returned, “What the fuck does that even mea-“

He doesn’t get to finish the sardonic sentiment. The slap of your palm interrupts him.

“Ow!” he yelps out, head snapping from the force of the hit and hands already coming up defensively. 

Eddie pushes off the wall the moment Steve’s hands are up in the air, “Lay a hand on her in retaliation, Harrington, and I’m breaking your arm.” 

All the joking, cocky demeanor has faded. Like he had said — scary dog privilege. It applies to more than just pricks at the bar.

“I’m not,” Steve grumbles, rubbing at the red imprint now singing his cheek, “Jesus Christ, I said a punch.” 

You fight a smile, “I don’t know how to throw a punch.”

“I can teach you,” Eddie pipes up, now standing beside you, hovering in your orbit. 

“Don’t-“ Steve puts out a warning finger, “-encourage her. I only said you could punch me because I knew you couldn’t throw a punch!” he continues to cradle his face, now pouting at you, “Do you feel better now?” 

You only answer with a triumphant smile. Because your palm is stinging, and you know violence isn’t the answer, but yeah. You do feel a little bit better. 

“I don’t,” Eddie hums. He only has to take one step forward for Steve to back up, throwing out defensive eyes as he narrows his eyes, “Think I deserve to get a slap in, too, Stevie.” 

“Fuck that,” Steve spits, eyes wide with genuine fear that makes you want to giggle, “You do know how to throw a punch. If I’m letting you get a free one in, I deserve twenty four hours notice.” 

“Then consider this your notice.” 

Is this what I had always been missing out on? 

You always knew Eddie was playful with everyone, had witnessed how he joked with friends, but you’d never been included. The thought that this was the new normal makes your heart nearly burst. To be on Eddie’s side finally, to be in his good graces properly, makes you feel as if you belong more than any private movie night with Steve or impromptu dinner date with Robin. More than any night out with Nancy. More than any smoke session with Argyle, and more than any literature debate with Jonathan.

It’s as if Eddie was the missing link. You never felt you belonged, because you’d always ached for your rightful spot at his side, not just amongst the group.

The three of you stand in a makeshift circle and every single one of you smiles. Even Steve, through his slipping pout and swollen cheek, is grinning. 

Suddenly, it’s not quite as heavy as it once felt.

Everything has changed. Leaving now is not leaving forever. 

“I’d pay to see that,” you comment, taking a daring step to bump shoulders with Eddie. His eyes meet yours, his dimples come to life, and suddenly — you’re home, “Think I can get a front row seat to you beating Steve’s ass?” 

Steve starts to protest but Eddie only nods eagerly, “I think that can be arranged.” 

“I am once again reminding you two that I liked your screaming matches more than whatever this,” his hand flails, motioning to the way you two are standing closer to one another than you are him, “whole teaming-up-against-me bit is.”

“We’re not dating,” you’re reiterating as Eddie laughs out, “Stop being a crybaby.” 

You look at one another again. Another foot in the door of your newfound home, another look into your new place to rest your head. It’s as if you’re just now realizing you’ve spent the entire year missing Eddie, even as he was right there in front of you. 

“Well, God save us all when you two are finally dating,” Steve mumbles with a shake of his head.

“If-“ Eddie starts to correct, but you stop him.

It’s not an if when it comes to you two dating, you decide. It’s a when.

“I’ll send a gift basket when the day comes,” you snark. The look that Eddie sends you could heal every wound ever left behind, right then and there. 

You’re home. When Eddie throws his arm around your shoulders and Steve rolls his eyes at you two (affectionately, even if he’d deny it), you know you’re home.

—

But then, you actually do have to go home. 

You try to put it off. The three of you occupy Eddie’s living room for a while, Steve complaining about the way Robin woke him up endlessly throughout the night and how he never did finish that assignment due in his English Literature class. It reminds you that life will continue on; you have to go back to work and school, deal with daily annoyances that should seem bigger than all that’s happened with Eddie tonight, but they don’t. They all seem minuscule now, really. 

“Do we still have to send photo proof?” Eddie asks once Steve’s tirade has waned. You’re sat between the two boys, Steve’s body turned almost completely to face the two of you while you and Eddie slowly sink back into the cushions. 

You’re sure if Steve knew the activities that had taken place on this couch, he would not be sitting so comfortably. If at all.

Steve sighs at the mention of the bet, “You probably should. Jonathan’s been antsy about it the entire time. Me and Nance tried to cover for you guys, lying about calling and stuff but-“

“Why would you lie?” you inquire, uncurling a bit from your overly comfortable position to stop from falling asleep and actually participate in the conversation. 

“Because, unlike the other idiots,” Steve gives a pointed look at you and then Eddie, “We had a hunch about what was going on here. And it’s about time, by the way.” 

You think over his words for a second before you look at Eddie with sudden embarrassment, “Have you- Oh my God, have you been telling Nancy what we’ve been doing?” 

“What?” Eddie sits up straighter, looking just as panicked, “No. No, absolutely not, I-“

“What have you guys been doing?”

Both of you ignore Steve as Eddie continues on.

“-just spoke to her on the phone once or twice. But I didn’t give her any details. Have you been telling Steve what we did?” 

Steve, still being ignored, repeats himself, “What have you guys been doing?” 

“Absolutely not,” you scrunch your nose at the thought of being that honest with Steve. You loved him, truly, but not enough to tell him about those kinds of things, “I’d rather sleep in the canals than tell him.” 

“What have you guys been doing?” 

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up, and he mockingly stabs himself, “Ouch, sweetheart.”

“Not like that,” you backtrack, but more casually as the worry of Steve and Nancy knowing the truth, “I just meant-“

Eddie interrupts with a hand on your knee and a smile on his face, “I know what you meant. I’m just fucking with you. I feel the same way with Nance.” 

“Guys?” Steve grows further impatient, “I- What the fuck did you guys do? Oh my God, is it even safe to sit on this fucking couch right now?” 

“You don’t wanna know,” you say.

“No, it isn’t,” Eddie says. 

It earns him a slap on his stomach as he leans over in laughter at the way Steve launches out of his seat.

“You guys- No. No fucking way,” Steve brushes at the back of his jeans, as if they’re contaminated, “Nope. No way. You’re just fucking with me, Munson.” 

“Am I?” 

Another slap lands on Eddie’s shoulder as he laughs harder. 

“Steve,” you turn to your friend, trying to smile sweetly, “Sit back down.” 

“No.”

“You just said you don’t believe-“ 

“We should get going,” Steve insists through his blush, “You two should take your final picture and we should get going.” 

Eddie finally stops chuckling, leaning back up and against the armrest, his ankle cross in front of your shins as he stretches his legs out and sighs, “God, you should see your face right now, Harrington.” 

Steve’s scowl deepens, “It’s not funny. Take the fucking photo so we can go.” 

You make no move to dig out your phone, because you know. You know once you take this photo, you’ll be leaving, and this will all be over. Once you step foot back into that hallway, time apart begins. Learning how to navigate this new unknown with Eddie begins. It terrifies you, it saddens you, it exhausts you. You hadn’t been prepared for this part of the night.

Even before the confessions, you hadn’t given much thought to the ending of the twenty four hours. You’d assumed it would end in bloodshed and a larger than life fight, probably before the clock even ran out. You’d never assumed it could end in laughing, inside jokes between you and Eddie, in something not only bitter but also sweet. 

“Phone, sweetheart,” Eddie whispers as he leans forward and holds out his hand with the palm up, “Before we traumatize the poor guy any further.” 

“I will wait in the car, I swear to God-“ Steve starts to protest as you finally dig your phone out of your pocket. 

You’re looking down, unable to meet Eddie’s gaze in fear of him picking up on your faint sadness, as you mumble, “Get your panties out of their twist, Steve. Jesus.” 

Eddie snorts at that, right as you pass your phone over. 

Steve doesn’t comment when you willingly tell Eddie the code to unlock your phone, or the way you let him hold it rather than you. He doesn’t comment on the arm that Eddie seems to constantly keep around you now. 

He’s doing it while he can. Cherishing being able to hold you at any capacity before you leave and the distance begins. The time apart you two agreed upon won’t be for forever, but it still kills a buried part of him that had just begun to sprout roots again. A thing made of hope that he planned to tend to this time around. 

“So, how do we wanna do this?” he asks in a strained tone, as if asking that question and throttling you two closer to the finish line physically pains him.

You hope it pains him, selfishly, because it pains you. “No idea.”

“We’ve gotta make it a good one.”

“We do.” 

Eddie suddenly lights up with an idea as his thumb sweeps across your screen, opening your photos’ app and scrolling up to the first picture you two had taken at the beginning of this night. 

“Up for a trip down nostalgia road?” he teases, wiggling his brows as he holds the phone up for you to get a clearer view of the picture.

Eddie, flipping off the camera and scowling. You, hardly smiling with a pathetic thumbs up. 

“Yeah,” you breathe out, nodding slowly. 

It’s unspoken, what happens next. The camera app is opened and Eddie returns your phone to your grasp. The two of you resituate to mimic the photo as closely as possible while Steve fiddles with some of the items on Eddie’s entertainment center. 

You stretch out your arm, put your thumb up into view, blink away any tears burning the back of your eyes. Eddie’s hand has taken position as well. 

You snap the photo before you can think too hard on it. 

“Think that’ll be the winner?” Eddie curiously asks as you immediately bring the phone close to your face, swiping to view the snapshot just taken. And when you do, with the refreshed memory of that first photo, your heart physically aches. 

Almost an identical image. At a quick glance, it’s the same Eddie and the same you from the first one. But the similarities fade the moment you look closer. Eddie isn’t scowling, not genuinely – those damn dimples are even making an appearance as his eyes were squinted up in a valiant effort to fight off the smile he wears now. And your smile, your smile, is no longer half-assed. It’s something real, something full, something even a bit sad. The same face you wear when saying goodbye to an old friend and trying to hold back any tears until their train has long since left the station. You can almost physically see your vines in this photo wrapping around the two of you, clinging so desperately to avoid any separation. Time apart. You’re regretting suggesting that now. 

It’s a cute photo. A photo of two friends, if you could call yourself and Eddie that now. 

“All done?” Steve interrupts the moment, both of you and Eddie only staring at the photo. You take a peak at him out of your peripherals, and you can see it written plainly on his face – he’s feeling all the same emotions as you. Something sad, something nostalgic, something reluctant. “Not to rush the process but… I may or may not have a hot date tonight to get ready for.” 

Eddie tears his gaze from the photo, “A hot date?”

“A hot date,” Steve nods, a boyish grin gracing his lips, “And I’m picking her up in… t-minus…” he pauses, checking his watch, “Three hours.” 

“Smart move. Charm her before I rearrange your face and all.” 

Steve throws his head back in a groan, “You two won’t be letting that go any time soon, will you?” 

“Nope,” you chime in as you swipe to open up the groupchat, not offering Steve a single glance until you’ve sent off the final addition of photo proof to the rest of your friends. You consider adding some sort of sarcastic comment, some well earned bragging and a boisterous told you so, but you don’t. 

It doesn’t feel like you’ve won. Leaving this apartment, this battleground, with all the new bruises and healed wounds you’ve acquired over the span of the twenty four hours doesn’t taste like victory. Really, it tastes like… nothing. 

There’s no victory, no solid ending for you to cling to. It’s simply ending and there’s still thousands of words you have to say to Eddie. You need more time, another twenty four hours, to fill with every single thing you never told him. More casual confessions of honesty, more hours wasted in his bed, more insignificant bickering to partake in. It’s all on your tongue and desperate for attention, and yet, you know you can’t succumb to it. 

You have to go. It’s the last thing you want to do, but you have to. 

Steve checks his phone when it buzzes with the notification of your message you sent and opens his mouth, no doubt about to comment on your lack of words with the message, but you’re already standing. It’s like ripping off a bandaid. You need to get it over with, get out of this apartment before you decide you’d rather sink right into these couch cushions and decay just to ensure you never have to really leave. 

Eddie’s quick to follow. 

“Let’s go,” you say to Steve, grabbing up your bag, not looking at Eddie at the risk of losing all composure. 

Neither boy fights you, following you right up to the front door. Steve leads, opening it back up as reality slams you in the chest. As if there’s an invisible barrier here, and you know that in crossing it, you’ll be leaving a piece of yourself behind in apartment 2C. 

Leaving now is not leaving forever. 

But it sure does feel like it. 

Steve awkwardly looks over your shoulder at Eddie, some silent communication you only see his half of as he shrugs and does a timid wave, turning to leave. 

One foot hangs midair, your toes beginning to push through that barrier, when Eddie grabs you. 

“Hey,” he breathes as he wraps his fingers around your bicep, forcing you to turn to face him. You let him, your body moving to his accord but your eyes still not meeting his, “You good?” 

You take a deep breath in through your nose, “Me? Yeah. Yeah, I’m great. I’m… I’m good.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Positive?”

“Will you look at me, then?” 

Reluctantly, so very reluctantly, your eyes meet his. Big, brown doe eyes. This close to them, you can see the way they shine to match yours. You both probably look insane to Steve right now, but you don’t care. Between the sleep deprivation and all the emotions you’ve had to experience over the last day, the tears are well earned.

You almost reach out and kiss him. You almost press up onto your toes and put your lips on his, almost pour every emotion you’re feeling in the moment into a far from innocent peck. 

But you don’t.

“We did it,” you croak blandly, “We won the bet.” 

As if the Universe is screaming in agreement, you can hear a chime in the distance signifying the hour. Probably the church you recall passing in the middle of the night when the two of you had ventured off to the parking garage. It almost feels as if it’s mocking you. 

“We did it,” he echoes as his grip on your bicep loosens. You expect him to let it fall back to his side, nearly begging out loud for him to retract his touch from you so you don’t do something stupid like stay.

You swallow down thick emotions, just like molasses, “I guess I’ll see you around, yeah?” 

Time. You two needed time apart. 

“Yeah,” he sighs, as he does the one thing you had somehow hoped he wouldn’t yet yearned for ardently – the hand that had wrapped around your arm now cups your cheek, thumb stroking your skin so softly, you nearly melt in his doorway, “I’ll see you around, sweetheart.” 

It doesn’t taste like victory, yet it doesn’t taste quite like loss. It’s bittersweet. 

You still don’t kiss him. And he doesn’t kiss you, even as his touch against your cheek lingers so heavily before he pulls away. 

You cross the barrier and find you were right. You feel that piece of you tear off and flutter to the ground, and you begin to wonder when you’ll have the chance to come back and reclaim not just it, but Eddie.

—

Steve didn’t speak much on the drive back to your dorm, and you’re sort of grateful. 

If you were a good friend, you’d ask more about his date. You’d get him giddy as he spills the details about this girl and his plans for the night, chastise and tease him all in good fun. You’d be smiling and making plans for coffee tomorrow morning so he could tell you all about how the date went. 

But you’re not a good friend.

You sit in your silence the entire drive, and you pick at your nails, and you selfishly stay focused on Eddie. On all of your own qualms and all your own issues, worrying about what comes next and already feeling your chest tighten the moment you start to think about when see you around will come.

The two of you never discussed that, did you? There was no discussion of just how much time was needed apart. 

Steve shifts the car into park in the west lot, right outside your building, “Alright, stop making your cuticles bleed for two seconds and tell me what’s wrong.” 

Your hands pause exactly as he requests, caught red-handed. “Nothing’s wrong.” 

“Something’s obviously wrong. I told you to go get him – and yet, he’s still not your boyfriend.” 

“It’s complicated,” your voice finally breaks. There’s no tears this time, just confusion and desperation clawing at your throat. 

Because, was it complicated? Was it really?

The last year was what had been complicated. All the pretending and the fights and the tension. All the false beliefs and all the lies overlapping with one another. That was complicated. But this? The feelings you harbored and finally acknowledged for the boy you just left behind? 

That wasn’t really complicated. 

And Steve knows this, you can hear it in his sigh, “I think that’s the issue.” 

“What?” you turn your head towards him, scrunch your brows, even your breathing and try to shoo away the image of Eddie’s wet eyes. 

You wish you would have kissed him. 

“Look, i just think you two keep making things complicated when they should be simple-” 

You didn’t want to hear it. Childish as it might be, you do not want to have to hear this speech. Because you know Steve’s right.

“I’ll see you later, Steve.”

“Wait-”

You don’t wait. You slam the door in his face once you’ve got your footing outside of his car, truly earning your title of bad friend.

Awful. You weren’t just a bad friend, you were an awful friend. 

And yet you can’t think on it, leaving it be until you had the time to properly dwell on how you’d apologize later. All you care about now is getting inside your dorm, moping and being miserable on your own. Your strides are longer and faster than they were even when you’d backtracked to Eddie’s apartment, determined to get behind closed doors and to properly mourn all that had been gained and all that had been lost in the last twenty four hours. 

Twenty four hours ago, you were reluctant to even step foot in Eddie’s apartment. And now, it’s the only place you really want to be. 

Luck refuses to be on your side as you slam into your dorm room, sweaty and tired and just fucking emotional, only to find your roommate there. There will be no dramatic crying, no cinematic scene with your back pressed to the door as you fight back sobs, it seems. 

“You look rough,” is all she notes, sparing you a second glance before she returns to whatever she was tasking on at her desk. Her makeup, you think.

Good. Maybe she’ll be heading out, leaving you to suffer alone like you wanted. 

“Yeah,” is all you can answer her as the door clicks shut behind you. 

Rough’s a good way to put it. 

“Think you’ll be here tonight?” she asks, still distracted, “Troy and I are hanging out today – he spent the night here last night, by the way – and if you’re gone again, I was thinking about inviting him back over. Only if you’re cool with it, or already have plans, though. Our RA has this final and I didn’t even have to sneak him in last night-”

She continues on her rambles, never looking your way as you drop your bag onto your bed, and quickly lift yourself to lay right next to it. 

Normal. You were having to go back to fucking normal. Your worries were no longer revolving around Eddie or making it through the next hour, no longer preoccupied with keeping your friends up to date in order to ensure a payout of five hundred dollars – now, you just had to worry about boys named Troy and possible room checks by your RA. Finals to be taken, essays to be finished, shifts to be covered at the diner so you’d have enough cash to go out with your friends next weekend. 

You should be relieved. But it all just feels impossibly heavy. 

Your roommate catches on quickly, and when you only reply to let her know you’ll be here tonight, she stops talking. She focuses on finishing her makeup and gathering her things, hardly even offering you a goodbye as you shift to curl up more comfortably in the center of your mattress. 

You should also know better than what you decide to do next. You can’t help it, though, as you tug your phone out of your pocket and unlock it. You don’t listen to the voice inside your head that screams stop as you click on your photos’ app. Ignore the animal inside that whines as you scroll, and you click on the very first photo of you and Eddie. 

It’s painful, but you have nothing better to do in your solitude. You don’t linger on the first photo too long, still being fresh in your mind, before quickly swiping along. 

The set of matching photos you and Eddie took of one another, black and white socks covering touching toes visible in each one. You nearly laugh at the Darth Vader figurine both of you took turns holding. You nearly cry when you realize you were, in fact, smiling in your photo. A small one, a forced one, but there nonetheless. 

The selfie from the bar, your amaretto sour and Eddie’s whiskey & coke lifted towards the camera. The way both of you had tried to look annoyed, over exaggerated and furrowed brows paired with pouting lips. Your thumb swipes subconsciously over the photo for a second too long, and you’re startled when you realized it was a live photo. The moment after the photo was taken, Eddie’s eyes had moved to look at you. And in that live photo, you watched every ounce of annoyance evaporate. Leaving behind something you recognized now. Leaving behind eyes sparkling with a brief glimpse of adoration. 

There’s something else you better recognize now in the next photo. The picture you’d taken when Eddie had locked himself into his room, only opening up long enough to insist you took the photo, the one that guaranteed you your money. You had been right – there was a flood of regret on his face. You hadn’t imagined it. But you had also been wrong; he was never looking at your own rotted vines and mourning them; he was looking at his own, tethered and shredded, regretting that he had ever taken an axe to them. You don’t press down to see this live photo. You don’t want to witness that door slamming in your face again. 

The two photos taken in his bed. The one in which both your faces are scrunched from the flash, in which you can see the physical wall between you two.  And the one in the dark, where you both wear tired smiles, unaware of the night to come.

The photo on the bike, a helmet mostly covering your blushing cheeks, but not Eddie’s. 

The photo from the parking garage, meant just for you two. 

The photos from Betty’s. You don’t linger on the one of you; you do linger on the one of him. 

Each swipe only makes your heart ache more viciously, painful and sharp reminders of the night you had had. You don’t have to press down on another single photo to witness the live outplay of it – each memory is running through your mind in real time as you retrace your steps of the night. Twenty four hours, twenty four steps. With each photo, you watch yourself grow more relaxed, watch smiles come easier without your awareness and finally pinpoint all the care Eddie had been looking at you with the entire time. 

You notice the lack of photos from the last few hours. You nearly scorn yourself for it, but there had been no time. There was no time for memories frozen in time amongst all that hard honesty and those sacrilegious revelations.

Except there was one more moment in time frozen for you. You’re quick to exit the photo app finally, leaving behind that picture of Eddie with full cheeks only to open up your text messages.

Your text thread with him. Filled to the brim with bad pastry jokes and underlying need. You remember that urgent want to comfort him, to remind him he was enough. To erase all the hurt and all the old scars caused by a life from before your time with him you still hadn’t become fully privy to. 

You’re still rereading the last message, bet you wouldn’t say that to my face, when suddenly a new message appears. 

EDDIE: Make it home okay? 

Space and time. They are the last things you want, that you need from him right now. 

YOU: yep. my roommate just left. 

EDDIE: Is your dorm bed as comfortable as you remember? 

YOU: like sleeping on a cloud. 

You wish you were still in his bed. You wish you were back at the beginning, with him rather than all alone. 

EDDIE: Oh shit, you’re trying to sleep? Sorry

EDDIE: I’ll stop bothering you and leave you to it. Sweet dreams. 

No, you nearly scream at your phone screen, come back and bother me. Bother me for the rest of my days for all I care. 

You’d never sleep another wink if it meant having him. You remember what you told him about starting over, starting fresh. And maybe taking a much needed nap would offer that. Maybe sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time would be the smart choice, letting you awake with a clearer mind and better intentions.

But you don’t want that. The animal inside still clings to all that has happened. 

Something about that makes you brave.

YOU: i never said that, and you’re not bothering me.

EDDIE: Didn’t you say you wanted a nap earlier?

YOU: that was earlier. i’m wide awake now. 

An internal battle continues to take place. Your mind whispers liar, knowing damn well that if you put down the phone and turned your cheek to bury into your pillow, you’d be out like a light within seconds. 

EDDIE: Ah. I see. 

You fiddle with your thumbs for a second, stomach churning as you try to come up with a response to keep the conversation going. Technically, when you had said the two of you needed time apart after all that had happened, it should have meant interactions like this as well. Texting each other was not offering each other space.

But he’d started it. That was on him.

YOU: do you remember what i said about space? and starting over? 

EDDIE: I do. I’m not very good with giving you space, it seems. 

YOU: well, considering you’re on the other side of town, i’d say we’ve got the physical sense of space down. 

There’s a pause in his replies that causes you to sit up. A falter. You curse him for not having a smartphone as well, for not having the privilege of being notified whether he was just taking his time typing or if he had put the phone down. You really hoped it was the former, practically wished upon every star that that was what was happening. You hoped he was glued to his phone as you were yours. 

Maybe he still had that photo he’d taken a few hours ago, the one you swore you’d heard him take as you dozed off. Maybe he was still staring at it like you had done with all of your photos. 

EDDIE: About that…

You stare at the message, the hidden meaning behind it completely lost on you. 

YOU: About what? 

EDDIE: I’m not home right now. 

Your heart clenches. 

YOU: You’re not?

EDDIE: I’m not. 

YOU: Eddie, where the hell are you right now?

Your mind reels with all the possible choices. He could be at the bar, at the parking garage, at Nancy’s place. He could be anywhere. 

But then he only sends a picture in response, and you know where he is. 

You nearly topple into three other students from how you sprint down the hallway. You don’t even grab your key to your dorm room, skipping the elevators and nearly throwing yourself down the few flights of stairs in haste. You don’t care how your lungs cry out, you don’t care how your thighs burn, you don’t care how your shoulder aches from how roughly you slam open that front door of the building. You don’t care about the strange looks you get on your way out. You don’t care about the odd angle you twisted your ankle in on that last step. 

The only thing you care about is the boy standing there, helmet off and balanced on the seat of his parked motorcycle that he leans on, arms crossed as his eyes light up at the erratic sight of you. 

You don’t even check for any traffic in the parking lot as you make your way to him. 

“I’m sorry,” he calls out once you’re close enough to hear him, “I know we said give it time and shit, but you left, and I just-” 

He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence. 

When you make it to Eddie, you’re in no business to carry anymore regret with you. This time, you don’t just yearn to kiss him, to wrap your arms around him, to pour out all those emotions you were feeling across tongues. 

You do it. You kiss him, uncaring for all the stares of fellow students. He nearly falls backwards into his bike from the force of you colliding against him, but he’s quick to catch himself as his hands find your waist. 

“You-” you pull back, gasping a bit to start to scold him before his lips follow and interrupt you, “Fucking-” Push and pull. You retreat, and he follows, “Idiot.” 

His hands squeeze around you, tugging you a stumbling step closer so that your chests are flushed against one another.

“I am,” he mumbles against your lip, the tip of his nose grazing over your cheek as he refuses to let anymore distance be put between the two of you, “I am a fucking idiot. I’m sorry.” 

“Stop apologizing.” 

His hands cradle your face and he kisses you this time, reaffirming that he felt everything you had. All those words you hadn’t said, all his own admissions he’d withheld, spill between clashing teeth and eager lips. He takes your breath away, shamelessly, greedily. And you let him. You offer all the air that’s left in your lungs up to him on a silver platter. 

When the two of you finally pull apart, eyes opening wide and foreheads pressing tightly to one another, he’s grinning like a fool. 

“So, I had a better idea than time apart,” he murmurs, “What if we just… start over?” 

“Start over?” you question wearily. 

He nods, “Yeah. Just… Just pretend this last year and all our bullshit didn’t happen. Start fresh. Let me not be a massive dick this time.” 

His hands drop from your face as he takes a step back, taking you in fully. You want to shy under his gaze, but instead you can only melt. His fondness is a warmth like no other, capturing you by the crown of your head and pouring down over you in waves. 

“Okay,” you finally agree, feeling your own cheeks spread and ache in a lovesick smile. Coming home, that’s what this felt like. “Okay, we can start over.” 

“Great,” the homecoming warmth only spreads as he straightens up his posture. A very serious look overcomes his face, laced with determination for a brief second until he relaxes it into a friendly smile, doleful eyes meeting yours as every single flower he had ever planted in your chest blooms like a spring morning. He sticks his hand out, nearly making you snort, “Hi, I’m Eddie.” 

You can’t help it. His front door is open, a warm glow within welcoming you. 

You ignore his hand entirely as you impulsively reach up and interlock your fingers at the nape of his neck, tugging him into you for another kiss. 

He pulls back far too soon for your liking, but his hands have also found their spot against the small of your back, “Do you greet all the new strangers you meet like this?” 

You roll your eyes, “Shut up.” 

He pulls you back in for a chaste peck, and it tastes like home. 

“I like you,” you whisper into the limited space between the two of you, “I mean it. I like you so fucking much, Edward Munson.” 

He grins, cracking your chest wide open with hope, “The feeling’s mutual.”

taglist: @catherinnn @haylaansmi @gaysludge @paprikaquinn @manda-panda-monium @audhd-dragonaut @blushingquincy @hellkaisersangel @eddieslittlewh0re @ajkamins @prettyboy200 @munsonzzgf @blue-eyed-lion @digwhatudug @madaboutjoe @wickedslashdivine @sweet-villain @somespicystuff @big-ope-vibes @jadequeen88 @sylviin @emma77645 @notbeforelong @lolalanaie @lo-siento-ama @happy-and-alone @micheledawn1975 @aysheashea @moon-huny @munsonswrld @bambipowerblueaddition @averagestudent03 @bakugouswh0r3 @mattefic @mxcheese @bietchz @nativity-in-black @stezzil @vngelis @coley0823 @folklorebau @luvmunson86 @theherothesavior @keene200213 @hargrovesswifee @m-chmcl-rmnc @cherrymedicine13 @iunaelumen777

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[dyaz-stories]

you took the words right out of my mouth || Kim Yeong-Hu x Reader

word count: 1k

warnings & tags: mostly sweet and fluffy, implied sex but nothing explicit, just harmless flirtation

A/N: For @neohumanmonster's Born in Blood prompt! I don't know if I'll post the other prompts right away because I don't want to burn myself out, so I hope you'll enjoy that one in the meantime!

“You do realize that there are two doctors in here, right?” you ask as you enter the room, not bothering to greet the man sitting on the examination table.

Sergeant Kim Young Hu’s eyes follow you as you walk to the sink to wash your hands. Around his bicep, a makeshift bandage seeped with red. By the looks of it, it isn’t the worst state you’ve seen him in.

“I’m not letting that lunatic touch me,” he answers, his voice calm, as it usually is, and you roll your eyes.

You’d be lying if you said you were a fan of Dr. Lim. You already had your issues with the man when you both worked for the government, before this all started. Once the Outbreak had begun, it had taken you forty-eight hours as his assistant before you had requested to start working out in the field. You’re well-aware of his shortcomings.

Unfortunately, and it stings to admit it, he’s one of the most competent doctors you’ve ever met. He’d be more than able to take care of the Sergeant.

“You do realize I have other things to do, right?”

“And I am deeply sorry to have taken you away from your fifth grade biology lessons.”

…Okay, he has a point. Finally done with your thorough handwashing — it’s not nearly as sanitizing as you’d like it to be, but it’s not like there’s a lot more you can do —, you come to stand in front of him.

“Does it hurt a lot?” you ask as you start undoing the bandage. At least working with the military means that the men all know what they’re doing in terms of first-aid.

“Could be worse. I think I just need stitches.”

You’d trust him, if it wasn’t for the fact that you’ve heard him say that about injuries that could have been fatal, had you not been there. In this case, though, you’re relieved to see it does look mostly fine. Whatever attacked him slashed through him, deep enough to be concerning but without actually damaging the muscle or hitting an important artery.

“What happened here?”

“One of the guys tried to take something from a monster,” the Sergeant Kim replies flatly. “I intervened.”

“Oh, it’s good it didn’t turn out worse, then?”

“Not really,” he says with a shrug. “The monster wasn’t violent until disturbed. This could have easily been avoided.”

“Sounds like your boys need a stern talking-to.”

While talking, you go fetch what you need. At least you’ve got everything required for something like stitching someone up, which you can’t say about most other ailments.

“I’ll handle that,” the Sergeant answers from behind you, and you smile. He exudes this quiet strength that you cannot help but be impressed by. His men would follow him to the end of the world and back, if he asked, and you can see why.

“Alright, well, you know the drill,” you tell him, coming back in front of him. “Think you’ll be okay?”

It’s silly to ask, with how often you’ve had to patch him or his men up. You’re well aware of his resistance to pain. Nonetheless, your training requires you ask, even if it’s no surprise when he nods in answer.

“Just go for it.”

You make quick and easy work of the wound. You focus on being fast and efficient rather than on lessening the pain, which you know is for the best with him. It’s not long before you’re setting your tools back down, done with your work. There are a few seconds during which the Sergeant takes the time to relax his jaw, to breathe in a couple of times, and then he nods at you.

“All done?” he asks.

“You’ll need to come back here so I can check on it,” you say. “And try not to put any strain yourself with that arm for a couple days, alright?”

He nods, but you don’t put much faith in that. As a soldier, you’d think he’d be good at following orders and, to be fair, you’ve heard he did an outstanding job most of the time. Unfortunately, your recommendations seemed to fall into deaf ears more often than not.

“Is that all?”

“Sure,” you say, even if his nonchalance exhausts you. “Hope I don’t see you here again for a good while.”

This, at least, brings a smile to his lips, and you try your best to suppress your shiver. He gets up from the table, and stands up, just inches from you. He’s so close, his torso almost brushes against your chest.

“Is that so, Doc?”

Damn that man.

“You know, if you keep this up, I’ll end up thinking you’re landing yourself in here on purpose,” you say.

The smile turns more amused.

“I would never endanger myself on purpose,” he tells you with disarming honesty. “But I’d be lying if I said I minded this kind of flesh wounds all that much these days.”

And before you can tell him just what you think of that, of course, he leans in to capture your lips. It’s not the first time. It doesn’t look like it will be the last time. And you’re in one of the very few rooms in the stadium that can actually lock.

Fuck it, you decide, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you. It doesn’t matter why the two of you play that game together, the people you shared a past with and that are long gone, the fact that this relationship was built on blood. What matters is that in his arms, for however long you get to have him, you forget that the world is doomed.

If him coming back for more over and over again is any indication, so does he.

hope you liked this, it's a little sillier than what i've written for the fandom so far, so that was fun to play with. i don't know if i'll write for other soldiers because most of them... didn't leave me much of an impression as far as their personality goes, but i tried something for sergeant kim ^-^ please consider leaving a comment or reblogging if you're enjoying my writing, interactions are what keep me motivated to write for a fandom!

more writing for sweet home

[sirensplayhouse]

Abdullah told Neville, “don’t talk about going to Barbados, because you are already in Barbados, when you go to sleep tonight you’re not going to sleep in New York , you’re going to sleep in Barbados”

you want to wake up in your dream reality or to your dream appearance? you already have it

when you go to sleep tonight you’re gonna go to sleep as if you’re sleeping in your dream reality or sleeping with your desired appearance.

nothing more and nothing less.

persist and assume that when you wake up you’ll be waking up in the reality where you have all of your desires, and you will be. your subconscious hears your desires and exists to carry out exactly what you want.

the moment you open your eyes you will have exactly want you desire simply because you told your subconscious you wish to have it and since you wish to have it, it is yours.

“Have faith in your imagination act and watch it become reality”

ask yourself how would you feel if you woke up and had it all; some might feel free, joyful, ecstatic, too stunned to speak, etc. however you would feel to wake up to all of your desires being fulfilled, go to sleep in that feeling or feeling(s) because it’s already yours and watch your 3D conform instantly. (side note; emotions do not manifest and again all of this is my personal opinion)

don’t worry about the how it’s going to happen, just know it’s going to happen because you wished for it to happen. manifesting is instant nothing stops your manifestations from taking form. you have to put in the work to feed your subconscious the emotions and the thoughts that the person you want to be would.

for example;

you wanna wake up a multibillionaire. trust and believe Jeff Bezos is not sitting around complaining or thinking about how much money he’s spending, or that he needs to cut back on spending money or he doesn’t have it.

shift your mindset to the person that has billions of dollars in their account, you don’t ever have to worry about money because whatever you spend you get it back x 1000 , never think that you have a lack of money because you’re literally a walking ,talking , breathing multibillionaire who never has to worry about money because it flows to you so easily and effortlessly.

your manifesting your desired appearance? you’re beautiful, the baddest thing walking on two feet on this earth, men/women want to fall at your feet just by looking at you, your features are god/goddess like, nobody can resist your beauty and that’s a stone cold hard fact.

literally you can have all of your desires as soon as you think about them or as soon as you wake up the next morning all because you said so.

okkkkk I’m done with my rant, I just had to get that off my chest😌just know you’re a powerful ass god/goddess and nothing can stop your desires from manifesting instantly and easily not even you.

now I look forward to hearing how y’all read this and woke up with your desires or instantly manifested something just by thinking about it🤭

𝑆𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑦，

𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑛

🧜🏾‍♀️

[kadextra]

having many thoughts about “you have only seen me when I’m crazy” because. yeah

q!Bagi doesn’t have the frame of reference everyone else does. she never knew q!Bad when he was red colored, and the responsible calm egg babysitter. she isn’t aware of how drastic this shift in him is. yet this new island arrival is SUPER worried for him, even more than the islanders who knew him before and got to watch his descent into madness in real-time. there can be multiple reasons for that

all the islanders have a prior perspective of q!Bad being the person who they rely on to help with anything. even if they see him going kinda crazy exploding mines & the changes of his appearance, this is q!Bad we’re talking about! the resident capable & put together guy, he always helps so they may think he knows how to handle it.

and you bet they have so much faith he will recover from… whatever is happening to him, as he always does from any difficult situation. this faith is why they have always trusted q!Bad with the lives of their kids. just gotta give it some time, because everything will be okay once the eggs return, right? (nobody knows the extent of the damage and the lines he crossed. he will have severe consequences)

the majority don’t continue prodding q!Bad with questions when he puts on the denial mask and starts lying to their faces, because they are also doing the same thing. everyone is going through their own unique sorrow, pain & self-isolation arc rn, so the focus/energy in worrying for others is kinda dulled… it’s understandable. the entire island is experiencing grief, so they accept q!Bad is too and don’t bug him much. however, even if they aren’t in the trenches always pushing him for answers, there’s still many people (like forever, baghera, etoiles) who are keeping a watchful eye on his declining condition. <3

q!Bagi is a very different situation though. “you have only seen me when I’m crazy” he’s right. Bagi is the only person on the island to have this unique perspective & understanding of q!Bad. she lacks all of the points above: doesn’t see him as the reliable guy, has no reason to put extreme faith in him, and isn’t emotionally damaged from grief. arriving with nothing, she sees the facts presented in front of her- a kind person she has spent lots of time with and considers her best friend, who is spiraling out of control and needs help.

it’s amazing how quick she adapted to his behavior and doesn’t accept his lies. Bagi is an investigator at heart and puts hard pressure on him to open up, the only other person doing that is q!Foolish. she doesn’t believe Bad is in a state that can be easily recovered from, rather that he is getting worse, and is scared that one day it’ll become too late and he will literally fade away if no action is taken. so she has been running around with urgency, catching onto any piece of relevant info about the eggs, his condition, anything she can use to help him ASAP.

…I want to really stress again how she has never known a version of q!Bad that isn’t flawed and broken. but she still sincerely says “I care about you and will do everything in my power to help you.” and that’s just. ough :(

of course q!Bagi would be the only person who he openly admits not being okay to <3

[vodika-vibes]

Can I ask for tech, opal, winter time and learning how to snowboard

Mountain Romance

Summary: You bring Tech on his very first vacation to a mountain cabin that you used to visit with your family. While there, you decide to teach him how to snowboard.

Pairing: TBB Tech x Reader

Word Count: 642

Prompts: Opal - Faithful Love

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Full disclosure, everything I know about snowboarding wouldn't even fill a thimble, lol. So I kind of skipped over the majority of that to focus on their relationship, I hope you don't mind?

“Are you quite sure that this is safe?” Tech asks as he skeptically eyes the snowboard leaning against the cabin.

“Sure! I’ve been snowboarding since I was a child.”

He turns his skeptical gaze to you, “And you have never broken a bone while doing so?”

“I…er…I wouldn’t go quite that far-” You admit with a sheepish laugh.

He arches a single brow and pins you in place with a pointed look, “So you have.”

“Oh, come on.” You hurry over to him, and take both of his hands in yours, “You’re so talented at everything you do! I know you’ll be great at this. Do you trust me?”

He sighs, “You know that I do.” Tech squeezes your hands gently, “If you really want to teach me, then I will happily let you.”

You release a happy giggle and fling your arms around his neck, “You get to teach me so much that I don’t know, so this is exciting!”

Tech’s arms slide securely around your waist, and he presses a light kiss to your temple, seeming to relax against you the longer you hold him. 

“So,” You mumble after a few moments, “Are you ready?”

HIs arms tighten around you, “I suppose. Though, I have to admit that I had different ideas in mind when you said that you wanted to bring me to a cabin in the middle of nowhere.”

You giggle, “Oh, we can do that too!”

He shoots you a look, “I did not specify what I had in mind.”

At that, your grin widens and you poke his nose, “I know you and I know your brain, my clever handsome man.”

He doesn’t look the least bit sheepish, just amused. “So, how does this work?”

You beam at him and tug him over to the board, an explanation already on the tip of your tongue.

Three hours later, the pair of you retire back to the cabin. 

True to your beliefs, as soon as Tech understood how to snowboard, he excelled at it. But you really didn’t expect anything different. He is skilled at just about everything he puts his mind to after all.

“I do not like that trainer you introduced me to.” Tech says as he holds open the door for you before following you into the warmth of the cabin. “To be more specific, I do not like how he looked at you.”

You pull your winter gear off, and shoot him an amused look, “He’s known me since I was a child, Tech.”

“That makes the way he looked at you even more inappropriate.” Tech grumbles.

You laugh and reach out to press your hand against his cheek, “Hey, you know that you don’t have to worry about him, right?”

Tech sighs and presses his hand over yours, “I am not worried about you. How could I be when I see how you look at me? That does not mean that I have to appreciate how he looks at you.”

“That’s true.” You stand on your toes to more easily slide your arms around his neck, “How’s this, then? I won’t interact with him anymore. It’s not like I’m friends with him.”

He slides his arms around your waist, “You do not have to do that. I just want you to be careful around him.” A small smile crosses his lips, “Afterall, I know that you are faithful to me. Just as faithful as I am to you.”

You feel warmth spread through your body, “Do you have any idea how much I love you?” You whisper to him. 

“I do. You show me every day.” He kisses the palm of your hand, and then pulls you into a proper kiss, “Tomorrow,” Tech murmurs, “I want to stay in with you. Can we do that?”

“Yes.” You say against his lips, “Absolutely.”

[randomfandomlov3]

Price of love (Chapter 7)

Warnings: Disregard of life. Violence. HYDRA brainwashing. Trauma/backstory. Feeling of inadequacy. Let me know if i missed any.

Note: Thank you for reading! <3

Word Count~ 3297

“Hey…” You said as you entered his office. “I think I want to stay. My vacation taught me a lot about myself, and how to deal with things, so I think I am ready to return full-time. To continue counteracting the red.” Fury didn’t smile often and there were very few people who could make him, but you made him smile.

“You know that you don’t have to counteract anything, but I am glad that you are doing better. I missed your sunshine presence.” You couldn’t shake the guilt that easily but hearing that you were missed warmed your heart. You and Fury continued to discuss how you wanted to come back onto missions, if you wanted to keep leading a team, or if you would just rather work with another team. Your first scheduled mission started tomorrow, early. You never liked getting up early for missions, but it still happened from time to time.

The next morning you left a note on your door to explain your absence. With the fact that you are scheduled to be back in approximately a day. You headed down to the weapons room and packed what you thought would be needed. Then you walked through the silent halls down to the jet bay. Being the first one there you started to do the jobs that usually the mission leader would do.

Slowly the rest of the team arrived and piled on the jet. “Great, which one of us has to be paired with missing piece?” one of the other agents asked the mission leader. Your heart sank as you heard the title you had tried to get rid of for years. She was not who you were anymore, you were better than that.

With a laugh, the mission leader replied, “No one, just because Fury told us to take her, doesn’t that we had to treat her the same. And if she doesn’t return, oops… oh well.” The words crushed you as you realized your fellow agents didn’t have your back if something went wrong. Luckily, you had butt-dialled Bucky and got his voicemail, then Fury would have proof of the words these agents said, but none of that mattered if you didn’t survive this mission.

As the jet landed everyone was given a partner, but you. Then everyone was given their task. Yours was unnecessary and dangerous. This was supposed to be an extraction mission, to rescue some people who had been captured by HYDRA. You were tasked with going to their control room and downloading as much information as you could. They didn’t care that this wasn’t an abandoned base, nor did they have enough people to clear the base, that mission was scheduled for later.

“Just get in and out, that’s all you have to do.” You whispered to yourself as you turned invisible, although you knew it was pointless because HYDRA had ways to detect invisible things. Still, this was the directive given, so you were determined to follow it. Maybe after that, you would go back to leading your own team. If you survived that is.

As soon as you entered the correct room the lights went out, and just as your vision was adjusting everything went dark.

“Steve, I’m telling you, I’m worried. We need to go out there and find her. Her team is putting her in danger.” Bucky paced through the kitchen as Steve made some coffee. Waking up to a voicemail hearing that the agents you were on a mission with were deliberately putting you in danger, caused him to panic, he just started to get you back.

“You need to have faith that these agents will be smart, and you need to have faith in your girl, she has always been excellent on missions, even alone.” Steve understood his best friend’s concern, but he knew that they had to be rational about things.

With a huff, Bucky made his way down to the training room to get out his worries. Natasha was already training when Bucky stormed in. “Woah, what’s got you so stressed?” She knows that he rarely shows how he is truly feeling.

“Steve says that I need to trust that things will be okay but the agent’s on Moonlight’s mission, are willingly putting her in danger. This is her first mission since the one she got shot on, what if something happens to her.” Bucky exhaled sitting down. He then played Nat the voicemail. Natasha’s breath hitched, hearing how flippantly they were talking about her friend’s life.

“What do you say to joining me on the mission, to clear out that HYDRA facility? It was scheduled to leave when the other team got back, but I think that the sooner we leave the better. How does that sound?” Natasha packed up her bag and started to send a message. All of the agents on the mission were to be ready down in the jet bay by no later than one o’clock. The determination on Bucky’s face told her everything she needed to know. She gave him the same information she told the other agents, and they parted ways to get ready.

Bucky paced the jet bay, he had been ready for hours, having prepped the jet and everything else for this mission. “Hold on Moonlight, I’m coming to find you.” He whispered to himself. “I can’t lose you; I just got you back.” Natasha interrupted his rambling by setting her bag down beside him.

“We’ll find her, I promise.” She put a reassuring hand on her friend’s shoulder. “She’s strong, she’ll be alright.” She was not only trying to convince Bucky but also herself.

The entire flight over, Bucky was tense, worried about what awaited them at the HYDRA base. Would he even be able to find you within his past?

Natasha gave out the instructions and the pairings. She and Bucky were searching for you, that was their directive. “Let’s go find our girl,” Nat said with hope lacing her tone.

First, they checked in with the team that you came with, but none of them had seen you since you went off your own direction. As they snuck through the facility, Natasha felt a familiar chill, that she hadn’t felt in a while.

“We need to be careful,” Nat whispered with a hunch about that feeling. Bucky gave her a nod before refocusing on his surroundings. Her feeling didn’t prepare her for what was about to happen though. A strong force that felt like a foot, collided with Nat’s back and she stumbled forward. Bucky readied his knife as he tried to help steady Natasha. “No, it’s her, we can’t hurt her. We have to be careful.” Nat exclaimed as she turned trying to remember the signs of where you might be. The chill started to fade, and Natasha realized that you weren’t after them, someone else was your target. She ran after the fading chill and Bucky followed her.

“Where are we going?” Bucky asked matching her pace. He was very confused as to what was going on, why would you attack Nat?

“We have to find out who her target is. I’m following her chill, but it’s fading faster than usual.” Nat said as they fought their way through a group of HYDRA agents. She had promised that they would never get you again. One of the agents uses her moment of guilt, to surprise her. Natasha stunned him with her widow’s bite, but not before the agent caught her side with his knife. Luckily, it wasn’t a deep cut. As she got up, Bucky finished off the last of the other agents. There was just a trace of where you went left, as fast as she could manage, Nat took off towards you.

You were heading toward the entrance, and while Nat had hopes that you were just trying to escape, she knew that was not the truth. As she exited the building, she saw you standing talking to the agents you came on this mission with. Bucky was about to shout your name, but Natasha stopped him. “She’s not herself right now, and we don’t want to put anyone in unnecessary danger.” She whispered creeping closer to you.

Your first mission was to recover the people who were rescued by the extraction team. HYDRA had big plans for them. The other agents were less than pleased to see that you returned, but what they didn’t know was the fate that they had hoped you would meet, was the one you were directed to give to them. You pulled a knife out of one of your pockets, hiding it until you had them right where you wanted them.

“Watch out!” Nat shouted knowing she wouldn’t get there in time to protect them. That was enough to direct the attention away from the group and onto Natasha, and Bucky. You glanced at Bucky before locking your blank eyes on Natasha. “I’m going to need you to restrain her, James. You are the one person here she won’t risk hurting.”

His face paled with confusion. How did Natasha know that, was there more here than she was letting on? But Bucky did as he was told, as you charged toward Natasha, Bucky intercepted. You tried turning invisible in hopes to trick him, but he held you tightly. After a few minutes, you stopped thrashing about like you had been deactivated.

Natasha let out a sigh as she walked over to Bucky. “The worst should be over now.” She then spoke some words in Russian, but Bucky was too confused to comprehend what she was saying. As she finished you came to, with a panicked look on your face. You looked up to see Bucky holding you, and you couldn’t hold back your tears. You felt disgraceful crying on the battlefield, but if what you think just happened, happened, crying is the least of your problems. Still not understanding exactly what was going on, but having a hunch that HYDRA had taken control, Bucky pulled you into his chest so you could calm down.

 “I’m sorry, I tried, but I guess I’m not strong enough. I failed, Habiba.” You sobbed out feeling like those years of practice went down the drain.

“You didn’t fail, and you are strong enough, but they were stronger this time. We will keep working on things until I can see if Shuri can give us a hand one more time.” Natasha glanced at Bucky hoping that he was understanding everything.

What happened next was something that almost no one there was expecting. The rest of the Avengers arrived, led by none other than Nick Fury himself. “Mr. Barnes, can I ask that you sit the rest of this mission out, to watch her?” The look in his eye told Bucky that Fury needed him to protect you like you were very important to him, rather than you might have been a threat. Bucky gave him a strong nod before picking you up and carrying you to the jet Fury had brought.

“It’s okay, Doll. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” You got up to pace when he set you down, thinking about whether you should tell him about your past now or wait until later. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did the other agents call you missing piece? And does it have to do with your time in HYDRA?” You took a deep breath to steady yourself.

“Well, I guess you do deserve to know me and that means my past too.” You took a deep breath before turning to face Bucky. “Let’s start at the very beginning. My dad met my mom after my older brother was born but before me or my baby sister. My brother always held a little bit of caution because he didn’t know this man, even though they tried insisting that he was his stepdad. But that never became important.” You exhaled a laugh.

“Anyway, my father was a Hydra officer when they met, it took a while, but my mom eventually learned what he did and even assisted him when he needed it. However, shortly before my little sister was born, they decided that they wanted out of that life. My mother was in blissful ignorance about the gravity of that decision, and my father ensured she stayed that way. He knew that there was no plausible way for him to leave HYDRA without it being taken down, which at the time seemed like an impossible task. But he also knew that his family would never be safe either.” You sat down next to Bucky.

“So he made a decision, one that changed my life, one that I wish he wouldn’t have made. When my siblings and I were young we took sleepy time medicine as my father called it, because he knew it would not be safe for us to potentially wake up in the middle of the night, when he had to do business. I am pretty sure he slipped my mom some in her bedtime tea though most of the time too. I remember the night of the incident perfectly. I think mainly because I have had to recall it so many times in therapy. My baby sister had been put to bed after her bottle and my older brother drank his juice then went to bed. I had drunk mine, but as I was lying in bed, I heard my father talking to my mom. She asked what she could do to help with the plan, but he insisted that she should go have a bath and that she should take her tea to relax since us kids were already in bed.” Your breathing started to shake as you tried to continue.

“What he did next haunts me to this day. He doused the house, every inch of floor, and every person in gasoline.” Bucky let out an involuntary gasp at your words. “I can still sometimes feel and smell it on myself. There were only four bodies retrieved, but they assumed for a while it was because the ignition point was in my bedroom that there was just no body left to be found. In reality, I ran, I tried to wake everyone up when I found out what he was doing but no one would wake. So I ran. I just about slipped and if I had I still wonder if I would have gotten out in time. I had to strip to get out of my room because all of our pyjamas had chips that set off an alarm if they left the bedroom.”

A shiver shook you as you gathered your thoughts. “My room was chosen as the ignition point because my father knew that I was the only one who sometimes woke up during the effects of the medicine. So not only I was running to god knows where I still cannot remember that detail, I was doing so in nothing but my underwear. Before I got to my destination, I was suddenly unconscious. When I woke up, I was in a HYDRA base.” Bucky’s hand covered his mouth as he tried to comprehend what you had gone through.

“The officer who was there greeted me by saying, ‘Ah, subject 219 you have grown since we last got to see you. Your father tried to keep you away from us, but we knew that he would fail. He was weak, and so was the rest of your family. Oh but you, you are something special.’ I didn’t understand what any of that meant at the time. I later learned that my mother agreed to be experimented on while pregnant with me. She didn’t show any signs of the experiment, so they figured that I had taken it on myself. I didn’t start showing signs of anything strange until that traumatic moment. I’ll be honest I still don’t understand the logistics of it. The main gift that I was given was invisibility. I can make myself and anything I have on me or am holding unable to be seen by any living or man-made creation, however as you might have noticed with Nat tracking me, I make the air around me colder.” Bucky wrapped his arms around you instinctually.

“My time at HYDRA was mostly used to assist their greatest asset, which is why, I’m assuming Nat instructed you to restrain me. She, missing piece, had been programmed to never be able to inflict harm upon the winter soldier.” His grip involuntarily tightened.

“I was rescued by Fury, about 2 years later, and I lived with him at shield headquarters until I became the head of my own team. But for the first few years, Fury had to fight the law in order for me to be allowed to stay there and not be sent to a juvenile detention center. Some members of the government tried to explain that I was really young when it happened so I wouldn’t have been capable of making the distinction between right and wrong, but that was proved false. I somehow had an impeccable sense of morality. Also the severity of the incident, they knew it was no accident. I don’t remember the initial story that Fury came up with for me, but I was eventually forced to do community work and go to court-mandated therapy, so that, to quote, ‘I never did something like that again.’ Fury has tried to get that expunged from my record, but if you dig far enough it still says that I was responsible.” You buried your face into Bucky’s chest to calm your shaking.

“Sometimes I end up in my old neighbourhood for missions, and I still hear people talking about my family, and how I should have been forced to meet the same fate, even though the death penalty was never used on children. If I am ever in public, I worry that people are going to recognize me as that child even though I look almost nothing like I did back then. That child feels like a whole different person. But my court-mandated therapy is why we met, well, indirectly. I finished serving my sentence, and I have kept up with therapy, but with a therapist who actually cares about the person they are working with. I still go by the other office though to make sure everyone is alright before heading into that room because there were a few sessions that I left and I considered ending it, but Fury reminded me that there is more to life than the past.” Bucky’s heart ached for you and the pain you had been through.

“He helped me find another therapist, and I saw them simultaneously because the government only recognized one therapist for the sentence. The way she asked me questions not only felt like an interrogation but also made me feel like I was the one at fault. That is one of the main reasons people have to do special training to interrogate children. But it shouldn’t have been an interrogation.” The tears you were trying to hold back started to wet his shirt.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he rubbed your back. Bucky couldn’t believe that someone so happy and sweet had such a terrible past. He presses his lips to your head trying to figure out what to say in a moment like that. “You don’t have to say anything, I get that this is a lot of information.” You reassured him. Being that vulnerable took a lot out of you, so you curled deeper into him to rest for a little while. “Just rest, Doll. You are safe with me.”

Epilogue

[zahri-melitor]

I missed writing up my Helenapoll thoughts so here we go:-

Joey Cavalieri – I think Cavalieri does some interesting complex things with Helena’s background and in grounding the fundamental trauma that made her Huntress, from the ‘danger of being raised female’ to ‘danger of being a Bertinelli heir’ to ‘danger of mob connections’ to ‘danger of being a vigilante’. It has a level of realism that you don’t generally get in the regular DC comics universe in regards to some of these topics.

Chuck Dixon – Dixon’s the one who cemented Helena into Gotham and put the work in to establish her rocky relationships with everyone else. He gave us Robin III: Cry of the Huntress which set up Tim and Helena’s relationship, which I adore. He gave Helena a clear role in Gotham as the outsider, which is not always fair on her, but provided plenty of conflict for plot momentum and let her yell at Bruce more often. I think Gotham would be lesser without Helena having that position in the group.

Grant Morrison – so DC One Million is unexpectedly good Helena content, to my surprise. It’s one of the few places outside that uses her experience as a teacher really naturally in terms of how it frames her views and actions as a vigilante (apart from all of those regular Helena solo stories where she goes off hunting down the abusers of her students, of course. Which is apparently the ONLY plot anyone can come up with any time Helena gets pitched for a short story/single issue)

Devin Grayson – ooh let me get spicy for a moment. I think Nightwing/Huntress is bad Dick Grayson. I’m less convinced it’s truly bad Helena. Now the fallout from this by creating the ‘you stole my man’ narrative that ends up being the overarching topic of the Helena and Barbara dispute (even though they have multiple other fascinating points of contention) is irritating, but it’s interesting in terms of Helena testing if this helps in any way with how she relates to the rest of the Bats. (It fails) In terms of her other stories, I don’t actually mind Fear of Faith or Spiritual Currency, but they’re very one trick only (She’s! Catholic!) with Helena. They are helpful in building the reasoning for why Helena joins with Pettit.

Greg Rucka – it’s the man himself! Cry For Blood is easily my favourite Helena story, and his hand is obvious in all the best parts of Helena in No Man’s Land. If you don’t like Rucka’s Helena, you don’t like Helena.

Gail Simone – I maintain that Simone took a very complex situation, with Barbara and Helena’s layered antagonism over Dick, the Bat(girl) costume and the two betrayals surrounding it, their differing moral stances on when killing is acceptable and why, their mutual lack of trust from previous failures and personality clashes, and found a way to work through it so they weren’t at eternal loggerheads. They were both justified in their dislike for each other, but finding a way for them to become friends (with screw ups along the way on either side) and move them away from that eternal ‘two women cannot be friends if they’ve ever been attracted to the same guy’ canard was just a really important moment for their mutual stories. Plus it was the first time anyone had really given Helena time to be in a title with more than one other woman (Zinda and Helena and Dinah getting drunk and kicking heads together is something that can be so special).

Tony Bedard – oh the other Birds of Prey writer we tend to ignore. The interesting thing with Bedard’s run is that he gives Helena the space to work as the BoP field leader, given Dinah’s absence, which is a role nobody would have considered for her until Dinah resigned. It’s a growth period for her.

Ivory Madison – I like Huntress: Year One. I really enjoyed it as a story. I think Madison had a lot of fun drawing out the parallels and future echoes in it, and I really just enjoy the background competence given to Helena even at this early stage as she learns to be a vigilante.

[macabrecravings]

Cain starts using Evangeline too???

Yesss… Seeking out traumatized individuals is his favorite hobby…. mansplain manipulate malewife 💞 LMFAO JK.

But yeahh, originally my first impression of them was that he wouldn’t even bother w/ her because bc 1) She’s gross. 2) It’s clear she wouldn’t be … receptive. She doesn’t trust *anyone*, he would be no exception.

But!!! As I’ve continued thinking about her & seen how she reacts in moments of greater lucidity/low trauma… It’s got me thinking :)

TLDR: If they’re friendly, Cain could treat her like a little princess! She’s a little doll he can help and put on a better path <3 She has no faith in God but she believes in him & that makes him crazy! ^_^

In DOL, to complete the whole museum, you have to have access to the Temple. Meaning… Evangeline will eventually have to become an initiate. Aaaah uhoh she’s in Cain’s domain …..!!! Ehehe so, obviously Evangeline has her… type. [Rich older men who treat her like shit.] And, well, Cain isn’t older. But he is a monk. Which means he’s an *authority figure* or whatever ^_^ That + his looks, school status, and general reputation, = Evangeline is so very cautious in his presence. Walks on eggshells, she wants to stay in his good graces.

“Luckily” for her, Cain frequently puts himself in dangerous stations to stop bullying & assaults on the street— both of which she experiences ALL THE TIME. I could imagine that after he saves her a few times, she’d feel… indebted to him. Clearly, he’s a kind soul. Selfless and passionate, if not a bit brutish in the way he protects people. He could protect her. And she’d easily become dependent on him.

Which is absolutely perfect for him! Evangeline could make Cain’s savior complex go WIIILLDD :))

When Cain approaches Seraphina and tells her “You need help. I can help you. Trust in me <3” She’s like “??? No fuck off? I’m fine on my own, I don’t need you or God??” But Evangeline- She’s desperate for help. Usually, her go-to is Harper, but If this big popular guy who’s known for his good deeds and strength— if he wants to help her and give her lifestyle tips…? Man she’s going to listen out of intimidation if nothing else

Also there’s the whole upper-class lifestyle they’re both yearning for. Morgan tells Evangeline that she needs to be “the quintessential socialite” and tells her all about their family history and they’re from a noble house etc etc. Well, Cain’s a former rich kid who is also still striving to be high status like that too. He can tutor her, give her tips, like i’m being so fr he could absolutely shift her life— or at least the both of them think so!!

Okay one last one then I’m going to bed. Funny TV show trope. Cain = absolute top of the school reputation. Evangeline = bottom of the barrel. Rbis could result in them going omg hi!!! in the hallway and his friends being like 😟😟🤨??? is that ur little sister or smth …. (Evangeline cannot have a single relationship without incest allegations srry) /j

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 10.1

The wrought-iron building around the landing, on this end of the concourse, the tiled floor, in white, yellow, black, and red, each tile about three feet across by three feet across.

same humors color coding as the judges!

“Is there any way around binding her?” Avery asked Tymon.  “The whole point is to give something up and lock us in as partners, but the books outline it as dependent on getting the seal applied.”

would binding Snowdrop to the Seal of Solomon get rid of her reversed talk thing? That might make it worth it, since it seems it really bothers her.

“But it’s important to me because the seal is… the Others I trust and the Practitioners I don’t trust have convinced me that whatever it used to be, it’s evolved to something that’s, hmm… it’s in bad faith, I suppose?  Or used in bad faith.  Snowdrop’s included among the group of Others and if I bound her I think that would change how some of them look at me.”

and conversely not doing it is a great sign of good faith

Verona was an improviser, to a scary degree.  Avery did admire that. And Lucy was very aware of… of the present.  She was present, Avery thought, hyperaware of the words people were using and the details in the situation and stuff. Avery had often felt like she had to turn her brain off for her best performance. Eye on the goal, trusting her skates or her soccer cleats to help her get to that goal, mind disassociating from the everyday to get into the rules of the game, of position and movement and where her team was.

which contributes to Avery undervaluing herself, since she isn't conscious of making the decisions she does

“I feel like if I start having to use the seal regularly, that’s a problem.  That’s not the direction I want to go.  I’d rather…”

it closes off options to commit to not using the seal, but I think that's the only way to keep to that principle? If using the seal is an option and comes with no practice-related downsides, it will always be a possibility to resort to. Making part of her practice contingent on not using the seal locks in this principle as something Avery can't (easily) compromise.

Hat on a string at her neck, mask at her side. She took the horn and poised it at her brow, and it stayed there, where it would be if she had the mask on and it was still a part of the mask.

I like this phantom antler thing Avery has

Snowdrop grinned, framed by a backdrop of Lost, wide enough that Avery could see that she still had missing teeth.

nice that this crowd of Lost showed up, giving Snowdrop more support to match the practitioners Avery asked to attend

“By old rules, I invite you deeper into my world.  I’ve been greedy, Snow, we took you from the forest, I seriously thought I might sacrifice you, and I made you a tool to help me on the Trail.  You did everything you were supposed to and more, you saved me, you won me over, and even if the Trail was a nightmare that I still haven’t completely gotten over, it gave me you.  I wanted to do this here, in a place that’s closer to your nature as a Lost, because we spend so much time in my world.  When we go back, let this ritual help you be welcomed and embraced by that world, by humanity, and by any demesne I establish.” “I don’t want it and I don’t accept. I want you and the spirits to hear me, I’m neither Lost, from Spirit, or from Nature. I’m all of those things and none and you’re not welcome to any of it. You and me are different in this, and I think that’s important, Avery. You’re not meant to straddle worlds like me. You’re meant to stay put and I’m going to make you stay put.” Avery’s hand tightened, gripping Snowdrop’s. “I accept any and all help that you’re willing to give me. I accept any and all shelter and support you provide.”

I LOVE OATHS LIKE THIS SO MUCH.

Particularly the thing you get mostly with fealty oaths, about granting a place in your home. And here it's both Avery's potential future demesne and all the world of humanity...

And I like that between these two, there is no limits or requirements for what Snowdrop provides.

“We hear you, Lance.  Come on over.”  The reply came through the walkie-talkie, and ended with a double buzz.

not "Come on. Over." ?

“I was thinking long knight’s move.  Three forward, one over, or vice versa.”

fits her! both the "knight" concept and the movement, bold advance with a flanking element

“I’ll give you sustenance.  Including strawberry milk, and I’ll give you strength and lifespan as part of that.  My lifespan is your lifespan, if and when it helps.”

oh nice! we're cutting between the Familiar ritual and the Path adventure, I thought the ritual seemed a bit short

also, I think "my lifespan is your lifespan" is probably the kind of statement most practitioners try to avoid

“I give you my ability to lie, Avery, out of hopes it screws you up real bad and ruins your practice forever.  You get nothing else from me you’d want, in protections and special rules.”

holy shit. Lying! That's major for a practitioner. Avery could make great use of that, especially if she keeps it quiet and uses Oni-style tactics.

On John’s shoulder, Cherrypop leaned over to a Lost and did a really bad job of whispering, “I think Snowdrop’s winning.”

ranked competitive familiar ritual

“No,” Jude said.  “With most things out on the Paths, if there’s a rule tied to something you can manage with one of the five senses, it’s rarely going to lie.” “When I walked the Trail, one of the objects was buried in the paint, the cat skull was barely visible under an Other’s skin, and the coin was under a layer of dirt.” “Where the heck was your starting point? A murder room?”

Snowdrop's influence on the Trail? Good to know it was harder than anticipated though, that makes the Forest Ribbon Trail a lot more reasonable as a starting Path.

“The antler?  I guess my broken antler was staying up when it should fall down.” “Could be a Lost thing. Entangling what you had with you back then with you. It might be worth looking at the clothes you wore back then.”

and here I was thinking it was just a narrative resonance thing. Guess I've spent too much time thinking in terms of PGTE

Snowdrop nodded.  “And I’m going to ruin your life and I never want to see you set up a family.  I’ll be the treasure to your trash, the day to your night, and the cool flourishes to your out-of-nowhere biteyness.”

biteyness!

“Then I bind myself to my word,” Avery said.  She took the broken horn from over her head and pressed it to Snowdrop’s collarbone.  “To what I’ve sworn to you, to intent.  We forego the direct use of the Seal of Solomon, but we keep its intent.  You were bound once, symbolically and literally, and that’s enough.  I trust you.” “I’m calling this off, I don’t accept, I can’t trust you,” Snowdrop said. She pulled off an earring. She reached over to Avery’s friendship bracelet and stuck the length of the earring through the braided fabric. “I swear nothing.” To Avery’s Sight, the mist rolled, and she could see the tether of the connection between them, extending along her arm, with friendship bracelet with the dangling opossum charm. It worked around the black rope. Silver ran through the fabric of the bracelet, and copper-tinted light through the antler.

<3 <3 <3

... I wonder if I could get some opossum charms... the site I looked at didn't have any but there must be some out there

“We must each give you some rules to follow, however.”

Interesting, are these rules just being imposed on Avery as penalty for jumping on their table, or are they telling her about conditions of the Path?

It wasn’t that there weren’t any moves.  It was that there weren’t any good ones.  Stalling one and moving into a space it would otherwise take still meant she was in close proximity to a bunch of Others.

just like chess!

Not Miss.  No, she didn’t expect to see Miss, especially when Miss had been unable to answer the call.  But when they’d seen Miss on the bridge of light beams, there had been another Other there.  A ballerina in a blue tutu, head turned away.

oh hey, went back to look at Miss's interlude, and as well as the ballerina there was also the dog on a ball and schoolkids on their way to Earthly Oak Avenue

“She’s kind of an Other with more confirmed Finder kills than the you-know-what, according to our records.”

welp. Miss keeps nice company? Though honestly, remembering how the Finder Miss encountered treated her... this might be justified

The ballerina brought her hands to her face, where Avery couldn’t really see through her head to make it out.  Avery almost went with Snowdrop Sight to see around the sides of the tightly bunned-up brown hair, but the Ballerina turned her face skyward, hands cupped. There was no sound, but it was pretty clear what she meant.

????

actually, looking at the lines below:

But it was unnecessary, because the schoolkids behind Avery were howling, now, voices overlapping. They didn’t name it, but it was clear they knew, too. “Is she here?” Avery asked.

the Wolf?

“I take issue with that,” Snowdrop said.  She gripped the rope, slid her hand down to the part of it that was insubstantial, and then pulled, twice. Nothing happened.

fuck.

[bubbleonice]

Alexander Skarsgard and Tuva Novotny:

Alexander:

Angel of prayer: he has beeb used to tackle every challenge in life alone and never asks for help. He needs to know it is okay to ask for guidance.

Say I’m sorry: he’s got quite a big ego and doesn’t like admitting he is wrong. He conjures up a long list of excuses and explanations when he behaves poorly or fearfully.

Innocence: he carries a lot of guilt, anger and blame that may shroud his loving outlook. He clowns a lot around to lessen this burden. To make his heart lighter.

Joy: but he also bring a lot of laughter because of his ways and he brings a spirit of fun to everything he does.

Love yourself/ let go of controlling issues/ express your love: He needs to learn to love himself. And allow himself to let go of control and allow situations to unfold naturally. Only through this will he be able to fully express love and make romantic gestures.

Trust: he also needs to learn to trust and let go of past experiences. Accept the situation and let things transform.

7 of wands: He seems to be defending his territory and his successes, being challenged by others who want to take your place. You worked hard to get to where you are, but some people covet what you have and are prepared to fight you for it. expect to see an increase in ‘haters’, trolls and people who disagree with you. You will need to secure your territory and fight for what you stand for. If you’re with a partner, you may find yourself in a situation where you must fight for your relationship. There may be objections from other parties; family, other suitors, friends that oppose the two of you being together. You may have to put in a lot of effort to make the partnership last, despite many external things in your environment working against the two of you. Despite all these factors, you may be filled with confidence that this is the right thing to do.

Tuva:

Godess of strength: Stand up for what you believe, you will gain respect by holding your ground.

Acceptance: don’t force perceptions on others.

Evolution: you realize that obstacles are merely lessons on your path to love.

Stay optimistic about your love life: Positive thinking and faith always result in good things. Tuva needs to stay optimistic, learn to rely on life’s purposes. Trust that the universe has her back and always will protect her and her three children. And that her love life will bring romance. But first she needs to stop criticising her partner which will only lead to further unhappiness. Love and accept eachother and the relationship will magically transform.

5 of swords: Conflict, disagreements, competition, defeat, winning at all costs. The Five of Swords turns up when you have had a falling out, disagreement or conflict, and you are walking away with a sense of sadness and loss. You may be upset and resentful over the heated words you said and now wish you could take back. Even if you won the argument or came out the apparent victor, you realise that you have lost as much as (or more than) your opponent. This battle has cost you trust, respect or dignity, and isolated you. You will need to decide whether your point of view is so important to you that you’re willing to put your relationships in jeopardy, or if you can compromise and see eye-to-eye.

Conclusion: Both personalities are strong but weak at the same time. With their strong exterior, both are actually in need of reassurance and be reminded of their values. There is a lot of love and romance in their relationship, but there is also a good amount of disagreements. Arguments based on distrust and low self-esteem. Both are too hotheaded and quick to judge, but both are also easily broken down. It’s a very turbulent relationship.

I hope you enjoy this reading. And please keep in mind that this is done for entertainment purposes only. I use tarotcards and oracle cards actively in my readings, as well as my intuition. Energies come and go, what is relevant for today’s reading might change in a few weeks time. But some aspects will always remain constant and the same. Thank you.❤️

[sunstone-smiles]

29 for the ask game!

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Fan Fic Writer Ask Game!

I’m so glad someone asked this because I’ve been wanting to share some “behind the scenes” things! I am a hoarder when it comes to things I cut or edit. My problem is that I don’t keep it very organized (oops-). But, I remember some major cuts that I’ve made before, such as this alternate beginning of “The Bubbly Blue Lion Tickle Fight”! (I actually completely forgot until today that I wrote this section instead of just having it as a concept on my idea page, but I’m glad I saved it!) I also put why it was cut at the end of the post!

Alternate beginning (draft) of “The Bubbly Blue Lion Tickle Fight.” (An edited version for better readability. The cuts even have cuts, Lol.)

___

The tides of war are ever changing, yet little by little the Faerghus army keeps clawing to their goal. Some turmoils have occurred, but they learned. The key to their success so far has been their continued teamwork, trusting faith into allies and bonding with them.

On days when the army is not battling for life or death though, their recharging. They give themselves a chance to relax in order to recharge for the next battles ahead. All except for one person who needs it the most, the King of Faerghus itself, Dimitri.

Lurking outside near their own private quarters, Shez watches Dimitri in the distance, using his strength to organize weaponry and materials instead of resting. At this point, Shez can’t even count how many times they, or even the rest of the Blue Lion army has told him to take it easy. Yet everything they do, he seems to be doing the exact opposite.

“Whatcha doing out here? Bird watching?” Sylvain comes up to Shez in casual attire. Similar to him, Shez is also in casual attire to be more easily relaxed. 

“Heh, more like lion watching,” Shez responds and tilts their head in the direction of Dimitri.

“Ugh, he’s working again? I mean, that’s kind of him but not what everyone had in mind when we’re trying to ‘relax.’”

“I told him this morning too and yet here he is. It doesn’t seem like any excuse we use will stop him. But he’s putting too much work on himself. He’s pretty stubborn about it too.”

Sylvain shrugs. “You’re telling me? He was like this when we were kids too, never taking a break when everyone practically begged him to do so. We had to make him take a break because he always puts too much work on himself.”

“Maybe we just have to knock that stubborn attitude out of him then,” Shez jokes. “Anything you used to do when you were kids?”

“Beats me.” Sylvain pauses. “Actually…” a smirk of someone formulating a plan appears on his face. “Maybe there is a way.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

Sylvain signals Shez to come closer so he can whisper it in their ear. Shez’s face lights up when they hear what Sylvain has to say. “Really?” Shez’s eyes go wide.

Once the red-haired noble is finished, Shez turns back to Dimitri with the similar mischievous glint in their eye. “Oh, this I have to see.”

Sylvain and Shez nod at each other. The two formulate a plan. Soon, they take off toward Dimitri.

“Take care now,” Dimitri waves goodbye to the people he was helping. He turns around to leave, nearly running into Sylvain who was right behind him. 

“Ah, Sylvain! What are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same thing of you, your majesty.”

Dimitri lets out a sheepish chuckle. “Yes, I know. You’re about to give me an earful about why I should be resting.” Dimitri is in casual clothing as well, in a black undershirt.

“Well yes, but…” Sylvain pauses as he watches Shez sneak up on Dimitri. The King completely doesn’t notice Shez. Sylvain still has to distract him though. “Actually, I came to tell you a joke.”

“A joke? Now why would you…Ah, I see now,” Dimitri crosses his arms. He recognizes that mischievous look in Sylvain’s eyes. Dimitri glares back at him. “Sylvain, what is it that you’re really here for—AHACK!”

Dimitri suddenly lets out an uncharacteristic shriek when his sides are suddenly squeezed. He whips around to see his attacker, only to be met with a Shez that’s drowning in their own laughter.

“Pffft! Hahahaha! What was that?!”

“Shez!” Dimitri exclaims, his face becoming slightly flushed. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“I have to see that again!”

“Shez wait—AH!” Dimitri shrieks again, soon letting out a stream of giggles when Shez keeps wiggling fingers at his sides to tickle him. He tries to curl up his middle and hold his giggles in (as this silliness may be unbefitting of a king), but he can’t help but start to giggle. He tries to cover his mouth with his shoulder also when he crumbles down. “Shehehez! Hahaha!”

“Sylvain told me you were ticklish, so I just had to see it for myself!”

“Don’t forget what else I said! We usually got a reaction out of him…here!”

Sylvain lunges at him and joins in the game, scribbling now into Dimitri’s ribs.

“No! Sylvahahain! Shehehez!” Dimitri breaks into giggles and squeezes his arms to his sides, trying to squirm away from both of their attacks. Big, rich and full laughter begins to spill out of Dimitri and a glowing smile on his face. He tries to wriggle away, soon crumbling down to the ground. Shez and Sylvain follow him down, scribbling into his torso while he wriggles around, trying to push his friends away, but unable to do so due to them teaming up against him. His usual strength weakened due to the tickles.

“Your Majesty!” a protective voice suddenly rushes over to the scene. The three lift their heads up, noticing Dedue rushing towards them. Shez and Sylvain temporarily stop their attack, noticing Dedue rushing over, with Ingrid and Felix following close behind…

---

Why this was cut: I ultimately decided that I wanted Shez and Dimitri to start with an individual conversation like in my Golden Deer one, which is why most of it was changed in the product that was posted!

There is a Part 2 to another (major) cut for this fic if anyone is interested in that 👀

[vydslv]

a stickler.

content warning (cw) : spoilers from all of ep. 1 + [lightly] implied spoilers from ep. 2 of dr: despair time , cursing , teruko tawaki/xander matthews (ship) , [implied] theory ab david writing the letter to xander to kill teruko tawaki

note: i always type in lowercase whenever writing fics ! 725 words.

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊

i killed her… i killed her… why did i do that.. oh my god xander.. you’re losing it. you’re losing your mind. why did you even listen to them anyways? that is so dumb of you...! son of a bitch-!

“stick with my morals”… why did i not do that this time?! i don’t like— i hate murderers. i despise killing. so why. why did i do such a fucking act? i really fucked up…

—but the job must be finished, no? after all, you’re not the type of guy who doesn’t back out on a… a friend’s favo.. OH TO HELL WITH IT! they shouldn’t even be considered a friend at this point! yet.. i’m still doing their dirty work… willingly too.

i’m so sorry teruko. i am so so sorry. if you were alive, you would probably say, “well i don’t forgive you—you just tried to kill me.” i can just imagine you saying that… haha.. why did i laugh?

why did i laugh?

why. why—

oh shit. charles walked in..

well the plan’s working out so far…

…

i’m so sorry teruko. i’m really sorry- i sincerely apologize— i don’t know why i did it- i could’ve refused their request— but i didn’t. i’m a fool. i’m so sorry. i regret everything. i regret feeling obliged to their request. i should’ve refused—it’s what you would’ve done, right? right?

no matter the circumstances, you wouldn’t even do it. you have the courage to refuse a bold request just like that… but i’m weak.. i’m not as strong as you think i may appear myself as.

—ultimate lucky student… i had almost forgotten.. she will survive… but i must do everything to win—to beat this killing game. if what they said was correct, then- then it’ll be put to an end.

teruko tawaki.. i-

!!!!

…

it’s min, she saw me. fuck now i have to-

—!!!

…

this is it..? ah.. goddamn it…!

what the hell? why are…?

…

┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .

(btw, this is xander’s pov when he’s like up. dead. ykwim. LOL)

i don’t know how to feel…

i mean, they did find out that it was min..

but teruko… she’s hurting. i betrayed her.

i deserve that anger all towards me. i get it, i have been in her shoes before. it isn’t pretty.

she’s definitely furious at herself for trusting others—especially furious at me. everyone had betrayed her, no hesitation. she’s angry…

if i were there, i would console her but.. she wouldn’t care. she’s become very distrusting now.

it’s all my fault. i lead her to act like this. i shouldn’t have listened to them- i really shouldn’t have. i feel so guilty— i attempted to kill you!

teruko, i like you. i do, i wanted to become friends with you. what we had before all of this… mayhem.. i really enjoyed it. i loved talking with you, i loved hearing you out, i loved when you listened to me, i loved—

—i loved you. i.. suppose i can put it like that. if i were there, right in front of your face…! i would’ve done everything i could’ve done just to make it up to you.

but i know that you wouldn’t let that happen. “xander, you tried to kill me! i’m sorry- no i’m not. i won’t feel sorry for you. there’s no way i can accept your apology easily.. or at all”, is what you would say.

i’ve always admired your determination and your.. carefree? no. you weren’t carefree, you were very honest. you never concealed the truth, you said whatever sounded right or was on your mind. i admired that about you. not only that, you’ve always stuck by your word.

the best that i could do now is just watch and… and cheer you on! even though if you knew that i was doing this, you wouldn’t appreciate it after all of the current events. no matter—i want you to beat this game.

this game should’ve never existed. why did it ever create… oh.

—teruko, you are the only one i can trust.. the only one i can put my faith in. please, destroy this stupid game. end it all so everything can be put to rest.

you aren’t hearing me but, i like you teruko.

no matter what.. i’ll always be by your side whether you like it or not. you are most definitely in the right.

[anothergayrobot]

this is more of a vent than anything so i’m putting under a read more.  fair warning if anyone decides to read, it’s kinda long (and a bit rwde)

It's very frustrating, as someone who's been obsessed with RWBY since they were 12, to make the concious choice not to support the show and be told in response that they're a bad person.  Cause i loved RWBY, and even though it was very very flawed i put my faith and money in the crew and company behind it to make it something good.  I have almost every rwby-related book/manga (pr sure theres only two i dont have) and had at least 10 RT-related articles of clothing over the years.  Pretty much my entire family knows about it cause of me and my parents were shocked when they saw me watching a video critical of it, cause it was the thing i'd been obsessed with for years.  

And now here i am, someone who's supported RT for probably a decade.  I'd seen all the bullshit they did and put my faith in them to do better time and time again.  At this point i can't comfortably do that anymore.  I can't trust them with my time and money to treat the people working there well.  How much of that money they're making off of my viewtime is actually going to the workers that need it vs the shitty higher ups who only want to make the most profit with the least losses?  (Lets be honest, considering all the animators were either under contracts that've ended or fired, probably none.)  

But despite this i still want to watch RWBY.  There'd been themes that were annoying, and uncomfortable, and outright disgusting but i saw good in the show and saw the creators acknowledging their wrongdoings and put my faith in them that they'd learn.  And then Vol 8 came out, i fucking hated it, not only did it have more disgusting themes but ones that hurt me personally, and EVEN THEN I DECIDED TO CONTINUE WATCHING THE SHOW.  Because i thought even if the writers are shitty, bigoted people who don't want to do their proper research or take criticism or maybe they just don't care as long as they're making money- at least i can still support the smaller workers on the crew.  Like i said, i've been in love with the characters and world since i was 12, it's not something that's going to go away that easily.  And then Kdin and all the workers came out about how shitty and bigoted RT was and that was it.  

So with all this, not only is it extremely frustrating to see people who are willing to overlook or maybe they've justified supporting RT so they feel comfortable watching RWBY, but to hear that i'm a bad person for choosing to stop supporting a company after a decade of being burnt by it??  It's not like i said "fuck every individual person who chooses to work there, they're awful people who deserve to be abused." (trust me, i understand how capitalism works and hate it just as much as the next guy)  And then i remember the post *someone* made about how choosing to not support RWBY means i'm actively being bigoted AGAINST MY OWN INTERESTS, because i guess all companies are now entitled to my time and money based on how progressive they PRESENT themselves.  Despite the fact that i want to watch RWBY, i want to see how it ends, and i've been supporting it for so long regardless of how it's fucked up that now everytime i go to the manga section in fucking barnes and noble i instinctively go to the R section to see if there's been a new vol of the manga released, i'm a bigot.  And it would be SO FUCKING EASY to just not give a shit.  i already have access to a paid crunchyroll account so it would be so fucking easy to do so.  But i can't.  And honestly- if you actually think that i or anyone else is a bigot for not supporting some dumb fucking cartoon made by a garbage company?  Fuck. You.

[mirobami]

Second request of the day, kinda crazy, I haven’t seen anyone talk about how PRETTY Nobuya Sera is, so I would like to request my boy with crazy eights and two pairs 🤭 (Aoi still number 1 ofc 😮‍💨)

↳ better luck next time

♠️ CHARACTER:  n. sera

♠️ MATCH: Crazy Eights (Fake Relationship) + Two Pair (Soulmate!AU)

♠️ NOTE: OK BUT WHY’S HE SO PRETTY ONG they only had pretty boys in kakegurui twin like sheesh BUT I APOLOGIZE IF HE’S A LITTLE OOC I PROMISE THAT IS NOT MY INTENTION (i have practically psychoanalyzed this man until i couldn’t anymore) technically this is a fake relationship because of the game itself 😭

The Couple’s Bet was supposed to get people out of poverty, but truthfully, people treated it as a way to find their soulmates. You definitely wouldn’t have joined if it wasn’t for Mary practically dragging you to join them. As much as you tried, you couldn’t say no to her. Besides, you were going to give in to the temptation to find your soulmate. The way you would find yours was through words you memorized that were tattooed on the underside of your arm. Unfortunately, they did not automatically tell you who your soulmate was. You had to have an impactful moment and exchange with your soulmate; there, the words tattooed on your arm would be spilled.

“As you know nothing of fear, put down your life and see.”

Ominous. You didn’t mind though, at least no one would say the phrase carelessly and you wouldn’t be embarrassed if your soulmate wasn’t actually your soulmate.

When you snapped back to reality, across from you was a pretty blond boy with gray eyes. He isn’t wearing his jacket and he almost looks interested when he spots you. Almost. You didn’t trust any of these boys and you solely wanted their money. None of these people would be your soulmate, you could see. This was boring and you were more focused on your nails than the five boys in front of you. It wasn’t until Mary nudged you to speak that you even remotely moved. Rolling your eyes, you said, “I’m not saying jack shit. All you gotta know is that I’m not going to deal with any of you, I just want your money.”

It was brash, but you had a strategy. Make yourself as unlikable as possible and no one will want to pair up with you, therefore taking away any possibility of you being chosen and becoming a pair. But the first round went by too easily. It was won by them, every single pair chosen perfectly. You had been paired with the blond boy, Nobuya Sera. Glaring at him, you hissed, “There’s no way you won.”

Shrugging, he tilted his head almost innocently. “Why? First time you’ve lost?”

“Oh, please, we both know you’re cheating.” 

“Or is it that you find me so repulsive to be partners with me that you refuse to believe it?”

Storming away to catch up with the rest of the group, you had a plan. Knowing full well there was a traitor, you summed up all the variables and knew who you had to eliminate from the plan. Calculating what she would do, you told Mary everything secretly, knowing that Mary was not the traitor. After all, she wouldn’t have joined this game without some sort of trick up her sleeve. Even when you sat down, the others were looking at you, putting their faith in you so that they could all win.

Nobuya sat across you again. “Ready?”

“You’ll be lucky if you get anything from me.” Turning your head towards the dealer, you continued, “I’m going to ask for a sleepover.”

The boys all gawked. A sleepover was the last resort that anyone would take and here you were, saying it so casually, almost as if you didn’t know what it meant. Nobuya even asked, “Wait, do you even know what a sleepover means?!”

You didn’t move your head but you looked at him from the corner of your eye with a grin. “Yes, of course. Don’t try and doubt me.”

Huffing, he sat down, crossing his arms. “I can’t read you. One second you’re brash and abrasive and the next you’re choosing the most dangerous option with the most innocent look on your face.”

“You’re worried for no reason. Oh wait, I forgot, you could lose all of your money!” Laughing, you shook your head. “Just because we got paired up for one round doesn’t mean anything.”

“You’re risking your life here and everyone in your group’s.”

“Why are you so worried? It’s my life I’m risking. At the end of the day, only I will die if anything goes wrong!” Your eyes were bright with emotion. “I’m not afraid, so why are you?”

Gritting his teeth, Nobuya sat back. “As you nothing of fear, put down your life and see.”

“Fear gets in the way of a victory in a gamble.” 

But the words felt as though they were coming out of someone else when you truly heard them. You two stared at each other for the longest time, not even paying attention to the dealer. You moved out of your own accord, your mouth saying words you could barely decipher yourself. Nobuya felt like the only person in the world. He had said what was tattooed on you. 

He was your soulmate.

The boys ended up losing and Nobuya groaned, slinking in his seat. But then a small smile appeared on his face as he stood up to go over to you. “That was a great game. Didn’t know I’d find my soulmate here.”

“Please, that was dumb luck on your part.” 

“Ouch, still abrasive even with your soulmate?”

You smiled warmly at him as you led him away. The Couple’s Bet definitely put you in a lot of danger, but it also finally gave you the person you needed closure from. Perhaps some gambles were good at times.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

💬

Oho another anonymous! And another snippet from Hiraeth, because apparently that's the story I'm sharing bits of today :P

Okay so this section was terribly hard to write, for reasons that ought to be obvious, but in the end I'm unexpectedly proud of how it came out - I mean - well, I hope you know what I mean. This is the bit that continued from the previously shared snippet, that I decided not to share then, but here it is now. The 'she' referred to is Aelwen's mother, and 'he' is her father.

“Please.” She took an involuntary step forward, desperation in her voice. “Please, please, come back with us, even just once, I beg you—try it again, or talk to me—to us—” He lifted his head and glanced at her, looking older than his years. There were shadows on his face, still largely covered by his capable hands. “Don’t bother me with it,” he replied tiredly. “I’m not coming. I’ve had all the years to try, and I tried, I tried to believe, and I just couldn’t. Don’t try and pretend that it’s a thing that I can just will into being.” He leaned his head on his hands again and added, “I wish it were the case, but faith is harder than that, and I simply don’t believe any more. This is the harder way out. If I’d been any weaker, I would have stayed, kept on going with you, but it would be hypocritical of me to do that, don’t you think? As it was, it was terribly hard to convince myself to come clean to you all and tell you about it.” It was as if, Aelwen realised as she stood there, very still and horrified, he had finally snapped and decided to tell them everything that he had not revealed before, no matter how much it may hurt them in the process. “If God was real,” he continued, in an impassioned voice, “I’d know about it. Goodness knows I’ve been searching for years and years, and not found any evidence. I just didn’t want to bother you with it, but eventually, it became too much. I dislike to live a lie,” her father said, biting off each word precisely. “I have been a hypocrite for far too long throughout my life, and it changed when I finally told my family how I truly felt. I am not intending to go back and become one of those sheep again, following a system of belief just because it seems convenient, easy or what you grew up in.” “Believing the Bible in truth is not the easy path,” said her mother, sounding like she was scarcely holding back tears. He ignored her. “I’m not coming. Please don’t ask me again. If I ever decide that I will come back, whether to stay or just to confirm that I’ve made the right decision….” There was an unnecessary jab, put in because he was angry and upset. Aelwen could recognise it far too easily: he wanted to hurt them, maybe because he still wanted his faith back. “…I will. But don’t try and push me. If you do, you’re liable to get results that you didn’t actually want.” “Such as?” Her voice trembled even more. “Trust me. You don’t want to know.” He got up, abruptly, and walked out of the room without a backward glance.

If from the point of view of the other side this interpretation of his emotions doesn't really make sense, don't forget that all this is from Aelwen's POV - she may or may not be interpreting his reasons correctly. She still holds her faith, and doesn't understand how he can not, even though at times she is slipping into despair.

I would love feedback on this. (excerpt #4 for today)

[r3inventedd]

How to Master a Champion Ch. 4

Lewis Hamilton x Original Female Character 

Summary: Coming out of the 2021 season Lewis Hamilton has lost all faith in Formula 1 and its rules. He needs a reset, something or someone to make him trust again. Andy Masters has something to prove. She moved halfway around the world for a man only for it to fall apart within months. When an opportunity presents itself to get her life back on track, she takes it without question. But the job is nothing like imagined. 

Warnings: No warnings for this chapter but if you find anything, please let me know. 

Author Note: This is also on AO3 but I figured I would put it here too. Thank you to all of you who read, you make my day x

Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 

“Mom, I swear to god I’m not being dramatic. When he walked past me, he literally hit my shoulder and then got in my face about me only using him for clout,” Andy was pacing around her hotel room with her mother on the phone. Luckily, the only person who would worry about where she was during the work day, would rather not see her face ever again so she was able to grab her laptop and work from home for the rest of the day. If you could call a room with sealed windows a home. “I have never been spoken to like that in a professional setting.”

“Well you are rather young, honey,” Andy’s mother Martha commented, “There is plenty of time in your life to be yelled at like that again or worse.”

Andy rolled her eyes, “Thanks for that, Mom.”

“I just can’t understand how he would react like that without any provocation,” the doubt was clear in her mother’s voice. “Did you say anything to him before that? Tell me exactly what happened.”

A large sigh exited Andy’s body before she recounted the events in as much detail as she could, starting from the conversation with Angela. After she finished, there was silence from the other end, “Mom? Are you still there?”

“Yes, honey. I’m here,” Andy had known her mother long enough that she had something to say that Andy was not going to like. “It’s just that,” Her mother stopped.

“Please just say it mom, I feel like I’m in the twilight zone.”

On the other end of the line, Martha Master’s heart was breaking for her daughter. No one knew better than her how much Andy has suffered the past year. All she wanted was for her first born to find some happiness, but she was not about to lie to protect her feelings. “I don’t want you to think I’m condoning the way this man is behaving. He’s being childish and using the fact that he is larger than you to intimidate you is honestly enough for me to want you to get on a plane back home so I can make your favorite meal and protect you from everyone,” Andy relaxed immediately at the mere thought of being home with her parents and two siblings, sitting on the back porch swapping jokes and stories while having a barbecue. Her heart began to ache. “But I know you, Andrea,” her mother continued, “and you will fight tooth and nail, exhausting all other resources ‘til there isn’t anything left. So I’m going to tell it to you straight. You need to swallow your pride and start thinking about this man’s feelings.”

Andy could have fit an entire apple in her mouth, the way her jaw was hanging down to the floor. That was not what she had expected from her mother. “Did you just tell me to think about his feelings? A man who has done nothing but disregard human decency since I met him?” Flabbergasted only began to describe how she was feeling.

“Well you don’t fight fire with fire, Andrea May,” Martha only used that name when she wanted to make a point to Andrea. “May” was not even her middle name, but Martha liked the way it sounded when she was trying to make a point, “Clearly, trying to ignore the fact that he is in a bad spot is not going to work for you. Creating relationships has always come easily to you. You’re good at anticipating what people need and doing just that, but when you can’t read someone you tend to write them off as a lost cause and move on.”

“Ouch,” said Andy, plopping down on the end of her bed.

“I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, baby, but you’ve still got learning to do,” Martha paused, trying to come up with the best way to speak to her daughter, “You said that Lewis really flipped a switch when you made the comment about the way he is handling his career, right?”

Andy nodded to no one, “Yeah.”

“Okay. Then what was his response?” Martha was suddenly taken back to when Andy was in grade school and she had a recurring problem with a little girl who kept pushing her on the playground. Oh how some things never change , she thought.

“He said,” Andy pinched the bridge of her nose trying to remember his wording, “that I don’t care about him or his goals or his privacy and that I’m just like everyone else, only looking out for myself. Asshole.”

“Name calling will get you nowhere, Andrea May,” Martha chided. The dinner she was making was long abandoned in place of a bottle of red wine. “Now I know that you feel hurt by this man, but try to empathize with him. What can you learn from his response to you?”  

Andy laid back onto the bed, suddenly very exhausted, “Mom I really don’t want to do this.”

“Then suffer for the next 3 weeks and move home. I’ve turned your room into a craft room, closet, and yoga studio but I’m sure we can squeeze you in.” Martha took a big sip of her wine, knowing full well her daughter was not going to accept the offer.

“Okay, okay fine.” Andy put the phone on speaker and turned over on her side, “Well everyone has said that he’s lost trust in Formula One-”

“Don’t think about what other people have said,” Martha interrupted, “Think about what he’s said and how he’s acted.”

Andy looked up to the ceiling in silent yearning for whoever was up there to end her suffering. She wanted to respond that what he’s said and how he’s acted has only proved that he’s a dick, but that would not appease her mother. “Well he’s clearly feeling hurt by the system. I imagine that after being the poster boy of F1 for almost a decade and then having it seemingly crumble in an instant would be pretty difficult to deal with.”

It made Andy uncomfortable to try to put herself in his shoes. He was a millionaire, seven-time world champion, how bad could his life be? “He kept saying that I don’t care about anything he considers important, maybe he’s feeling more like an asset than a person. He’s been at Mercedes for nearly ten years. I imagine that he’s formed a pretty close relationship with the people around him but he’s acting like he’s going through everything alone.”

“It can be pretty lonely at the top,” Martha added.

Andy hummed in agreement, “When you’re that talented, I bet it can feel like everyone is trying to take down because they are. Even his teammate is waiting for him to slip up so they can take some glory. Although the office has seemed pretty supportive, they all treat him like he’s a bit of a mythical creature, except for Angela, his trainer. Even Toto, though I know he cares quite a bit, needs him to perform at the top of his game at all times to make money for the company.”

“And those brand partners you were talking to,” Martha said, steering the conversation to the conclusion she hoped for, “they really just want him for his influence.”

“That is so true,” Andy agreed, “They were all very polite but there was an unmistakable undercurrent that if he doesn’t get his shit together, they are going to pull their sponsorships. I tried to explain it to him in a way that didn’t put the blame solely on him, but he shut me down right away.”

Martha leaned forward in her chair slightly, “why do you think that was his first reaction?”

“Because he hates me,” Andy could practically hear her mother rolling her eyes, “Joking. I mean, he’s not an idiot. He must know that his sponsorships are in jeopardy. But I wonder if they would be so harsh if he was still the reigning world champion.”

Martha almost leapt out of her seat, her daughter was getting so close, “So when you told him that they were getting a little shift…”

“His fears were confirmed. As they always say, you’re only as good as your last race. Which is honestly such a toxic way to live your life. So here I come, a new person who no matter how you slice it, is looking to make moves in her career, and start telling him he needs to adhere to a system that has burned him. And now I’ve put Mercedes and his sponsor’s priorities over his and I’m just another person who will leave if he doesn’t perform the way they want him to.” Andy inhaled deeply, needing air after saying everything in one breath.

“Elementary Watson,” Mrs. Mathers replied in her worst English accent. All joking aside, she was immensely proud of her daughter for putting herself in Lewis’s shoes. In spite of the fact she had to use the same tactics from when Andy was ten.

Andy’s mind refused to calm so that she could finish her conversation with her mom. “I owe you way more of a thank you than this, but I’ve got a lot of work to do. I love and miss you so much. I think you may have just saved my life.”

“That’s what moms are for. Love you too, Honey, so very much.” After one last goodbye, the line went dead and Martha was left in the kitchen alone, half a bottle of wine deep and no dinner in sight. “Hey honey!” Martha called up to her husband, “How about we order in?”

…

All Lewis wanted to do after work was lay on the couch with his English Bulldog Roscoe and put something mindless on the tv. He did precisely that. The moment he walked through the door, Roscoe bounded up to him as if he thought Lewis would never return. “Hey buddy,” he crouched down to the dog’s level, “I missed you too.”

Rather than continue on to the rest of the house, he sank all the way to a sitting position, pulling his best friend onto his lap.

“I wish I could have stayed with you today,” he told Roscoe as he rubbed his ears, “I feel like there are less and less people I can trust. That new PA I told you about? She practically confirmed everything I thought about her. All she cares about is pushing her career forward. If Toto really wanted to make sure I was ‘getting everything I need’, he should let me have an office just for you.”

Roscoe looked up at his owner with bright eyes and mouth open to where it almost looked as if he was smiling. For the first time that day, Lewis genuinely smiled back. “You’re not going to leave me even if I lose, will you Roscoe Taco?” Lewis gently turned the canine’s head back and forth as if he was shaking his head ‘no.’ “That’s a good boy.”

…

Into the second week of her time at Mercedes, Andy had done her best to give Lewis the space he clearly wanted. Admittedly, it was difficult to do her job with little communication, but it was better than getting into a fight. She was starting to learn his routine and how to speak to the people he dealt with on a regular basis, like his dog walker and chef.

Neither one of them brought up the subject of sponsorships. Lewis felt it was a moot point and Andy had been working on something she hoped would give him some peace of mind. Any dream of them being the best of friends was pretty much dashed after the confrontation outside the simulation room, but she still wanted to make his life a little bit easier.

Her time at Mercedes had not been all bad. She normally ate lunch with Marilynn where they were able to catch up about their days - it was mostly Marilynn doing the talking. She had also formed a habit of getting to work at the same time as George everyday. Rather than bringing Lewis coffee, she started bringing one to George. If either one got there first, they would wait in the lobby for the other.

It was nice to talk with someone close to her age. Of all the people she had gotten farther than a quick hello in the hallway, George was the closest to her followed only by Lewis and well… they barely even said hello at all. They did not spend much time together, normally the first fifteen to twenty minutes of their workday but they liked comparing their childhoods and countries, discussing what it was like to know what you wanted to do so early versus jumping from opportunities to see where you land.

“So you moved to the UK with zero prospects of a job after landing an amazing position right out of Uni working for a millionaire,” George made no attempt to hide his surprise as the two rode in the elevator.

“Well if you put it like that I sound like an idiot,” Andy said with a laugh, pushing her auburn hair out of her face, already regretting wearing it down.

“But,” she said elongating the vowel, “if I were to tell you that I took a leap of faith moving to England for a shot at love and ended up at an even better performing company working for a seven-time F1 World Champion, it sounds like a triumph Or a bad romantic comedy.”

The both took a sip of their coffees while they stepped out of the elevator. George shook his head, much more of a realist, “But you would be leaving out the cheating boyfriend and boss from hell.”

“Your words, not mine,” Andy stated, distancing herself from any listeners that might try to use ‘boss from hell’ against her.

They rounded the corner, coming to a stop at her desk. Many people were still working from home so they were the only ones around. “How are things going with Sir Lewis Hamilton, anyways?” He tried to make it sound as casual as possible, but everyone knew that the driver was more than unhappy with her employment.

“Obviously they’re a work in progress,” she began to unpack her briefcase, given to her by Mr. Raison as a graduation gift, “But if the meeting I have today with the reps from his sponsors, I think it could really jumpstart our relationship or at least I’m hoping it will take it in a positive direction.” “Already shopping for rings, are we?” George raised his eyebrow and took a cheeky sip of his drink.

Andy choked on the hot liquid of her own beverage, the thought literally almost causing her death.

“There is not a world or universe where that would ever happen, nor would I want it to,” She did a quick scan of her clothing to make sure they remained unsullied.

“I hope you’re not talking about Mercedes bringing home the Constructors Championship,” Andy was grateful to have set her coffee down before Toto Wolff’s entrance made her jump.

George saved her from having to come up with a witty comment so early in the morning, “Actually sir, she was just confiding in me that she is a spy sent from Redbull to bring down our entire operation. I don’t think there is much to be worried about, considering her confession proves she’s terrible at corporate espionage.” While Toto was turned away, she stuck out her tongue at her new friend.

“Well, Christian will be quite discouraged to learn this, but the thought of foiling any plan or his, fictional or otherwise, brings me immense joy,” Toto grinned with schadenfreude.

“All in a day's work, sir,” Andy quipped.

“Well don’t let me distract you from your work,” their boss threw a pointed look George’s way, “we have an important meeting with the engineers today I expect you to be prepared for.”

George’s entire demeanor changed from teasing to professional, “Of course sir.” Everyday once one of them had an obligation to attend to, George would go into a mode that Andy has already aptly dubbed ‘Work George.” Suddenly he would no longer be a young twenty-something having a chat with a mate, but rather an experienced professional athlete ready to report for duty. Andy admired his ability to compartmentalize.  

Both men quickly excused themselves and went off to begin their days, leaving Andy to mentally prepare for a meeting with every representative from the companies sponsoring Lewis. Her pace quickened with nervous doubts about what she was about to do, but she knew that if she was going to actually make a difference in Lewis’s life, she had to be bold. She found herself wishing for ‘Fun George’ the twin brother of ‘Work George’ to come back and distract her turbulent mind, but there was nothing to be done. Before she knew it, she was in a video meeting with seven far more experienced individuals defending the independence and value of a man that wanted nothing to do with her.

“What do you mean he will not be doing the social media posts? It is clearly defined in his contract that they are non-negotiable,” Adolfo from Puma protested. There were murmurs of agreement from the rest of the virtual room, to which she ignored.

“Actually, per the fine print of each contract, ceasing of social media posts are allowed if deemed necessary for reasons defined as insurmountable. Right now, for Mr. Hamilton’s mental wellbeing, he is taking a break from all media. For years, he has done everything he can to make sure that each one of your companies is happy. Now, we would like to ask for the same courtesy. And before anyone would like to bring up the subject of the World Championship controversy, Mr. Hamilton’s social media counts actually spiked in followers since his hiatus,” Andy shared the evidence with the group in presentation form.  

“The longer that he stays off of social media, the more people want a glimpse at what is happening behind the curtain. I am proposing that rather than take a picture or video and post it right away, he begins to document his use of your products whether it is on a run with Bose headphones or a dinner wearing head to toe Tommy, when he is ready to let the world in again, he will have a digital journal of his time away from the limelight. A story of his comeback to Formula One that everyone will be dying to see.”

Andy held her breath, hoping that she had not just completely made a fool of herself in front of people she may be working with for months, even years to come. There was silence for only a few seconds, but it felt like hours, waiting for someone to reply. It was the executive from Monster Energy that spoke first, “We love our partners to use us in a story telling manner, making our drinks seem like a vehicle to memorable moments. If your team can create a compelling narrative within his hiatus, we would be willing to forgo the social media requirements until he is ready.”

One by one, the reps gave their consent to Andy’s pitch, promising to have a new clause written into each contract. After thanking the participants for their time, Andy signed off from the meeting and collapsed further into her chair. Somehow her hair-brained scheme had worked and Lewis was free to keep his life private for the time being. She was even able to avoid a specific end-date being proposed by any of the companies, meaning that he could truly take the time he needed to heal away from any unnecessary opinions and scrutiny. Andy checked her phone for the time, noting that it was just past 10:30am which meant the he was finished with his first round of training and had another half an hour before a meeting with the other board members of The Hamilton Commission, a foundation he helped create to promote better representation of Black people in UK motorsport.

Maybe he would be in a better mood before this meeting, Andy thought. She quickly logged off of her devices and almost jogged to his favorite room to hide in. However, right before she got to the door, a cold feeling crawled up the back of her neck when it occurred to her that she did not consult him on any of this.

Andy wanted it to be a surprise to show that she could anticipate his needs before he had to say anything, but now she had a horrible feeling that she never should have contacted every single company that sponsored him for a change of contract without his consent. Then again, if she had to ask his explicit permission for everything she did, she would not get anything done.

But is that enough of an excuse to have not even asked him for his thoughts? Andy decided to make a quick detour to the bathroom before delivering the news.

…

“You seem to be in a better mood today,” Angela told Lewis as he pulled on a Mercedes polo over his newly showered upper body after finishing a particularly hellish cardio circuit. She thought he would at least have the decency to look like it was an effort for him, but Angela was right, Lewis was in a better mood.

“Angela, love, today is a beautiful day,” He took a small towel and patted the braid on his head to rid himself of any excess moisture.

“Dare I ask why, darling?” she replied mocking his British accent. She was ecstatic to see him without a dark cloud looming over his head, but the sudden change set her nerves on edge.  

“Because I have come up with a solution to my problem,” He beamed with self-satisfaction.

“Oh? And pray-tell what is that?”

“Unfortunately I’m not at liberty to discuss it just yet, but trust me when I say it will take care of that little issue for good,” his smile slowly morphed into something much more sinister.

Angela was beginning to truly worry about the man that had become her best friend. If he was not acting as if the world was going to end, he was brooding like a sullen teenager, and now he looked like a villain whose plan was set into motion.

“Lewis,” She started carefully, “I know that this time has been incredibly difficult for you, but please just think about whatever you are going to do. I don’t want you to do something that you’ll later regret.”

“I don’t have to think about doing anything, it’s already done,” he loaded the last of his things into his bag before zipping it and hoisting it over one shoulder.

“I just hope whatever it is you’ve done, you’ve thought it through,” Angela watched him with wary eyes as he crossed the room to the exit.

“Don’t worry, Angie,” He stopped and turned just before the doorway, “this is the start of me taking my life back into my own hands.”

Lewis gave her one last reassuring smile before leaving her to relax before his meeting with The Hamilton Commission. Angela was far from reassured and the pit in her stomach was not going away any time soon.

…

Andy set her folder and iPad on the bathroom counter before turning on the sink and splashing her face with water. She knew that he could not actually do anything terrible to her, but after the confrontation in the hallway, she was more than apprehensive to have a conversation of any kind with him. The only thing that she’d seem to do right was making coffee and Lewis was completely unaware that she was the one sneaking into the break room to brew a new pot in the middle of the day when he liked to have a second cup.

Andy felt the need to keep it a secret, afraid that if he knew that she was the one with magic coffee skills he would no longer drink it. It was her one daily win that she was not about to jeopardize.

She looked at herself in the mirror, hands braced on the skin. Her green eyes looked almost manic and her skin was paler than normal. It frustrated her how much she cared about what Lewis thought of her. She was unable to detach herself from the day after she left. He’d even chased her around a race track in his Formula One vehicle in her dreams, getting closer and closer to her with each lap.

Her mother’s words rang through her mind. He is just a man who puts his pants on one leg at a time. She inhaled an unsteady breath. Lewis Hamilton will not break you.

With a new sense of shaky confidence, Andy pushed herself off the counter and scooped up her things. She was ready for whatever he had to throw at her. Regardless of what he thought, she was proud of herself.

She pulled the door open and started to walk down the hall when the iPad lit up with a notification that she’d received an email. She would have ignored it had the subject not read “URGENT READ THIS NOW.”

Andy stopped in her tracks and opened the message sent to her by Marilynn. She was about to begin reading when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She reached into her pocket to find that Marilynn was now calling. Oh shit.

“Hello? Lynn?” her voice was clearly nervous.

“Andy, where are you?” her voice was at a lower volume than usual and she sounded worried.

“I’m about to go talk to Lewis-”

“No!” Andy jumped at Marilynn’s outburst, “Meet me at the balcony on the top floor.”

Andy’s eyes jerked to the window lined walls, “But it’s pouring.”

“Exactly, we’ll be alone. Come right now,” Andy had never heard her friend so worried, “And read that email.”

Her phone beeped to signally Marilynn had ended the call. Andy’s hand shook as she slid the phone back into her pocket. She headed straight for the elevator, almost jogging. The email was still open on the tablet but she was too afraid to look down. Whatever was in the contents of that email scared Marilynn to her core.

Andy entered the elevator and punched the button to the top floor. She could hear her heart beat in her ears as she forced her eyes to scan the document. What she read made her heart stop. Masters, Andrea arrested on an assault charge.