#like I get a cold it feels like I’m having a heart attack

[prplepeony]

In the Line of Duty

Kate Stewart x Reader

Summary: You and Kate confess your feelings for each other after she gets injured

Words: 1072

Working for UNIT, no two days were ever the same. There were alien threats, unexplained phenomena, and secrets that the general public could never know about. But beneath the surface of all that danger, something else was happening—something a little more personal. You’d been working with Kate Stewart for a while now, and over time, your admiration for her sharp mind and dedication had slowly transformed into something deeper. But she was your superior, and more importantly, a friend. It felt impossible to cross that line.

Still, the way Kate would catch your gaze across a room during meetings, the subtle touches of her hand on your shoulder when you were having a bad day, the warmth in her voice when she spoke to you—it all made you wonder. Did she feel the same?

Today had started like any other. The briefing room buzzed with activity as UNIT personnel prepared for an operation. A distress call had come in about a rogue alien entity in a small town not far from the city. You and Kate stood near the projector screen, going over the mission parameters.

Kate was as composed as ever, her hands clasped behind her back, a serious but calm look on her face. "We don't know what we're dealing with yet, but we can't risk letting it escape into a populated area," she said, her gaze drifting briefly to yours. "We'll be taking a small team in. Minimal force, maximum efficiency."

You nodded, trying not to let your admiration for her distract you from the task at hand. "Understood. I'll take care of the logistics."

"I'll be leading this one myself," Kate added.

That caught your attention. Normally, she preferred to coordinate from a distance, letting the field agents handle the danger. You frowned. "Are you sure? It could be dangerous out there."

Her lips quirked in a half-smile. "Dangerous is part of the job, isn't it?"

You sighed, not entirely convinced, but you knew better than to argue with her when her mind was made up.

The mission was supposed to be routine—analyze the threat, neutralize it, and contain any damage. But when you arrived at the scene, nothing went as planned. The alien entity, a shape-shifter of sorts, was far more volatile than anticipated. As you and the team moved in, it began wreaking havoc, shifting forms and attacking with unexpected force.

"Get everyone back!" Kate shouted, her voice rising above the chaos.

You stayed by her side, adrenaline surging as you worked to coordinate the retreat. In the distance, you saw the shape-shifter targeting Kate. Your heart jumped into your throat.

"Kate, look out!" you screamed, but it was too late.

The entity lunged, knocking her off her feet with a brutal force. You ran to her side, fear gripping you as you knelt beside her. She was hurt—her arm badly gashed, and she winced as she tried to sit up.

"Stay still," you urged, your hands trembling as you pressed down on the wound to stop the bleeding. "We need to get you out of here."

But Kate, stubborn as always, shook her head. "I’m fine," she muttered through gritted teeth. "Focus on the mission."

"Damn it, Kate!" you snapped, your heart pounding. "I'm not leaving you like this!"

Her eyes softened as they met yours, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to fall away. The chaos, the danger, the alien threat—it all faded into the background. All that mattered was the way she was looking at you.

"You're always so stubborn," you whispered, your voice cracking as the fear and worry bled into your words. "I can't lose you."

Kate's gaze softened further, and for the first time, you saw something flicker in her eyes—something vulnerable, something real. "I’m not going anywhere," she said quietly, her hand reaching up to grasp yours. Her fingers were cold against your skin, and you clutched them tighter, as if you could will her to stay safe just by holding on.

"I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while now," she murmured, her voice shaky but steady enough to cut through the chaos around you. "But I never found the right moment."

Your heart skipped a beat. You knew exactly what she meant, but you couldn’t quite believe it. "Kate…"

She nodded slightly, her hand still holding yours as if she couldn’t bear to let go. "I care about you—more than I should, more than I ever meant to. But this job… it’s complicated. There’s always something getting in the way. But I…"

The world around you felt still, even as the battle raged on in the distance. It was just the two of you, in this quiet, raw moment where everything else faded into insignificance. Your breath hitched as you stared down at her, the weight of her confession sinking in.

"I feel the same," you admitted, your voice barely more than a whisper. "I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, but I didn’t know how. And now, here we are…"

Kate smiled weakly, her thumb brushing against the back of your hand. "Seems like a terrible place for confessions, doesn’t it?"

You let out a soft, nervous laugh, tears welling in your eyes despite yourself. "Yeah, not exactly how I pictured it."

Her eyes flickered with warmth, even as the pain from her injury clouded her features. "When we get out of here," she said softly, "we’ll talk properly. About everything."

You nodded, your throat tight with emotion. "Yeah. We will."

The moment was broken by the sound of an explosion nearby. The rest of the team had managed to contain the threat, and reinforcements were moving in. You didn’t want to leave Kate’s side, but you had no choice.

"I’ll call for a medic," you said, your voice steadier now, though your hands still shook as you helped her up.

She winced but allowed you to support her as you moved toward safety. "You’ll stay with me?"

"Always."

Later, in the med bay, after the adrenaline had worn off and Kate’s injury had been treated, you sat by her bedside. The room was quiet, a stark contrast to the chaos of earlier.

Kate looked over at you, her eyes softer now, free of the usual guardedness she kept in place. "About what I said earlier…"

You smiled, leaning forward to take her hand again. "We’ll figure it out. We’ve faced worse together."

She chuckled lightly, a genuine smile lighting up her face. "I suppose we have."

The silence between you was warm, comfortable. For the first time in a long while, you felt like everything was going to be okay. And as you sat there, holding her hand, you knew that no matter what came next, you’d face it together.

[fingertipsmp3]

I’m not even gonna lie, my grief over Mabel is making me insane

[thebibliosphere]

Tw: almost dying, muscle spasms, seizures and weird body fuckery.

I just had my second ER trip of the month. I thought the amitriptyline was making my heart weird in a non-POTSy way and I had a feeling that something was just wrong. So I woke Mothman up and asked him to take me to the ER.

Which is just as well because as soon as we got there I started experiencing uncontrollable muscle spasms and my resting heart rate shot up to 150.

The triage nurse bolted me through the corridors into a room of about four doctors and seven nurses. The rest is a blur but I remember crying for Mothman because I couldn't see him past the wall of medical people around me.

Turns out I was extremely hypocalcemic, as in my blood results for my ionized calcium levels were so low it was a medical emergency. If I’d stayed home and assumed my rapid heart was from POTS I likely would have had a seizure or possibly a heart attack.

The doctor in charge told me he’d only ever seen the spasmodic movements I was making in textbooks before, but it was so distinctive he knew right away it was hypocalcemia. Blood tests confirmed it. My serum levels were “normal” but my ionozed levels were virtually zero.

Also, my thyroid is shot. I need to get more tests done. Possibly linked to the hypocalcemia. Possibly why my migraines have been so bad. Basically it was the b12 fiasco all over again. All my test results looked normal until I almost died

Again.

Anyway. I’m home now after being given a massive dose of IV calcium and a ton of othe meds. Sadly, I’m not allowed to take the amitriptyline anymore, at least until we’ve figured out my thyroid and why my calcium was so low while still appearing normal. Thankfully I was only on it for a week at a very low dose so the side effects of coming off it cold turkey shouldn't be too bad. I’m dreading the head pain returning. But who knows, maybe the massive dose of calcium will help with that. Keep your fingers crossed for me, eh?

I’m going to try and sleep.

Or just stare into the void for a bit. Haven’t decided yet.

[banj0possum]

Bloody Red Roses

Yandere!Evil King x GN!Reader

CW: kidnapping, weirdo behavior, pretty mellow for now

👑 It was known throughout the land that King Alistair of the Obsidian Kingdom was a terrifying and cruel ruler. His heart held no mercy for those who opposed him.

👑 His dark magic was one to be feared, many know better than to ever go against him and his undead soldiers.

👑 Recently, he’s set his sights on your kingdom. He was planning on overthrowing a few lands and expanding his territory, and with your kingdom’s promising resources and location, he saw it as the perfect prize.

👑 But he isn’t a war mongering psychopath who declares war right then and there, no no he’s much more sophisticated than that, he’s going to kidnap the princess instead!

👑 He needed a bride anyway, so for him it’s a win/win!

👑 “Sir! We got her! We got the princess!” The door opening and the rattling of bones got Alistair’s attention. He sent a few of his skeleton soldiers to capture the princess whilst on a carriage ride through the borders of his territory.

👑 There were many guards protecting the area, but their weapons were no match for enemies who couldn’t die, and with a little bit of sleeping potion, carrying the princess away will be easy as pie.

👑 “Excellent~ and you brought her to my chambers like I told you correct?”

👑 They nod and scamper alongside the king to meet the princess

👑 “Oh princess~ are you awake ye- !!” His eyes widen and he cuts himself off. The person unconscious and tied up in his bed was indeed a royal, but the princess they were not.

👑 “What. Is. This?” He growls, the soldier’s bones rattle in fear

👑 “W-well you sai-“ “Does this look like a princess to you?! How am I going to take over their stupid kingdom if don’t have a bride!?” He scowls angrily.

👑 He hears you tossing and turning in your sleep, you let out a soft little squeak as you reposition yourself to be hugging one of his pillows.

👑 “…”

👑 “Uhm…your highness..?”

👑 “Leave. I’m done with your stupidity..I’ll deal with them myself..”

👑 The soldiers waste no time running off to who knows where as Alistair looks at you with cold eyes.

👑 “Hm…”

👑 He takes a seat by the bed, watching you as he figures out what to do with you.

👑 He’s trying to figure out a strategy, but he keeps getting distracted by your form. You looked so small and delicate, maybe he could…no that’s stupid he could never..could he?

👑 His thoughts plague him a awhile longer until he notices you waking up.

👑 Your muscles are weak, your head feels like it’s spinning, and it takes a bit for you to get back to your senses and realize what happened.

👑 You jolt awake, remember of the attack and almost scream at the sight of Alistair, but he was quick to covers your mouth and try to ease your panic. It took a while, but he managed to get you to stop fussing so he could take off your binds.

👑 “Apologies for this little..incident, I was supposed to take your sister..but now that you know my plan for your little kingdom, I have no choice but to keep you here. Perhaps I don’t need a princess to marry after all, I could just use you as ransom..” he chuckles.

👑 He sees the tea in your cup rippling in your shakes hold and scoffs, bringing his hand to hold your wrist to still your trembling “Oh don’t be so scared now, I don’t bite..”

👑 It was just supposed to be a means to make you stop shaking, but your skin…your big pitiful eyes staring up at him..he didn’t want to let go.

👑 So he kept you, for ransom of course, not for anything else..

👑 With you at his disposal, he started preparing negotiations with your kingdom to see what they’ll do to get you back.

👑 But in the mean time, he had to deal with you somehow..

👑 He settled on just letting you wander around the castle (with supervision of course)

👑 But then he starts to wonder what you do everyday, what did you even like to do? If you were staying with him, he might as well talk with you for the time being.

👑 It started off sort of awkward, he spotted you by the garden feeding some birds with two soldiers watching you. He approached and waved at the soldiers to leave them alone together. You thought you were in trouble but to your surprise, he just asked you how you were doing..

👑 “I uhm..heard you like going out here everyday..I figured I’d join you…Don’t take it the wrong way, I just had some..free time..that’s all..”

👑 The whole interaction was unusual. It wasn’t like him to be so casual and calm with someone, especially a royal of another kingdom.

👑 He enjoys the reactions you give him whenever he talks about his role as the dark king of the Obsidian Kingdom. Your nervous but polite smile masks your mortification of him, but it’s adorable to him nonetheless

👑 “What? A scared of the big bad king? How cute.”

👑 Your little talks slowly became frequent, for the king, it even became something he couldn’t help but do. What can he say? He was so used to your presence it seemed wrong to not talk to you at least once..plus he had to check to see if you weren’t planning an escape so..

👑 “Where have you been my little rose? I haven’t seen you all day.”

👑 His interest in your interactions turned to fondness the more he picked up on your cute little quirks. He takes note of the things you find funny or interesting, he brings them up in order to see that adorable little smile of yours, and that giggle, oh god that giggle…

👑 He denies it so much at first, but slowly starts to accept the fact that he wants- no, needs you with him

👑 Soon he started to want your presence even more, offering to eat meals alongside you instead of eating whenever he’s schedule allowed it, he started eating scheduled meals for you <3 we love self care guys

👑 “Of course I’m eating with you tonight. After all we never got to finish our conversation.”

👑 He loves watching you, even when simply eating or any mundane thing, you will more often than not catch him staring at you. You’re just so cute and soft! Definitely not like the snobby and overly stiff men and women he’s seen.

👑 He couldn’t have you trying to escape so what better plan than to keep you by his side 24/7? Then you’ll never be out of his sight!

👑 “What’s so wrong with letting you tag along my dear? I’m sure you’ll enjoy yourself with me.”

👑 And what if you try and sneak out from your chambers? Clearly you need to be moved to his chambers, that way he can make sure you’re behaving.

👑 Oh and of course in case you get lost, he made you a cute collar with the royal insignia on it! Isn’t it pretty? He used your favorite colors and everything!

👑 Of course he needs to fulfill his kingly duties. But how can he leave you alone for that long? No worries, you can sit right on his lap! That way you won’t have to stand for a long time and hurt your feet.

👑 And those clothes? So simple and out of style, perhaps you should wear something more fitting to his kingdom’s styles? Like a cute outfit with lace and ruffles! You look so delicate and graceful in it! He can’t help but buy you lots more outfits like that! Tis only fair for a person of your status.

👑 “How about this one? It compliments your form…what do you mean it looks too cutesy? I think it looks perfect for you.”

👑 he’s the type to not do much physical affection, but dear god does he crave both giving and receiving it. Give him a kiss or a caress of his cheek and he struggles to keep his composure and not melt to your touch

👑 Simply put, he might not seem like it (at least he thinks he does) but he can’t live without you. He couldn’t fathom the fact he was planning on trading you for a kingdom, you’re way more valuable than some puny kingdom!

👑 He even considers his original plan, you wouldn’t mind right? Besides, he bets you look absolutely exquisite in a little wedding dress~! Even if you don’t want a dress, an elegant suit would perfect on you~!

👑 “Where do you think you’re going my rose?”

It’s finally here guys ✨✨✨ I know it’s been a while but I’ve been busy with school and genshin. Anyway we got em in the end! Thank you for being so patient guys !! qwq

[wife-of-all-dilfs]

Hii! I love love love all of your finnick fics! Could I please request a fic where reader is also a victor from an earlier game and she is in an established relationship with Finnick. They both get reaped (not the same district) for the 75th games and reader gets critically hurt in the part where the cornucopia spins. Like she falls into the water after maybe being injured and she can’t swim, so Finnick has to risk everything to save her life.

I’m really looking for like a hurt/comfort with a seriously injured reader and Finnick going through hell to save her because he cannot imagine a life without her in it.

Thank you so much if you’re willing to write this or something like it, feel free of course to change anything to your liking!

two souls, one heart | f. odair

masterlist

summary: finnick refuses to lose the love of his life. your inability to swim complicates things, especially when the cornucopia begins spinning.

pairing: finnick odair x fem!reader

warnings: pre-established relationship, heavy angst, drowning, death, bone fracture

notes: thank you so much!!! i really enjoyed writing this, shed a few tears but still enjoyed it lmao. listen to 'beginning of the end movement v' by the newton brothers on repeat for the full experience <3

A quiet nursery rhyme was being sung by the water's edge.

The calm waves around the Cornucopia lapped at the rocks, the blistering sun causing the surface to sparkle. Wiress' voice interrupted Peeta as he mapped out the arena's clock-like wedges in the dirt. Everyone was focused on the map; you should have been too.

Dark blue ripples had your eyes captivated. So tranquil. So hauntingly beautiful. Loving the sea was in your blood, as your District Four was your home. You would think coming from a fishing district would mean your swimming abilities were mastered. In reality, they were practically non-existent. No matter how many times Finnick had attempted to give you lessons, they never stuck.

Neither of you seemed to care though, always too enraptured by simply being in each other's company—feeling Finnick's hands support your body as you floated on the surface...

"Don't you let go of me, Finnick Odair, or I swear to god I'll drown you."

"Will that be before or after you drown first?" he chuckled, though ultimately tightening his grip on your body in an attempt to reassure you.

....hysterically laughing when he got wiped out by a sudden wave...

"No way! I can't—" You broke into a fit of laughter— "I can't believe that just happened!"

"Are you laughing at me, sweetheart?" Finnick asked, trudging through the water towards you, his hair drenched and swept across his forehead.

"Yes!"

You doubled over, knees buckling as you struggled to contain your laughter. Despite trying to put up a serious front, Finnick too let a few chuckles slip at the hysterical sight of you.

"Oh really?"

Just like that, his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you down into the cold water, earning him a squeal just before you crashed together below the surface.

...and washing up on the sandy shore in each other's arms, salty lips capturing one another.

"I'm covered in sand," you murmured against Finnick's lips.

He gave you another kiss before pulling away. "It's okay," he said, pecking your lips again. "I'll help you wash off in the shower when we get back." And then sent you a stomach-flipping grin.

Even though you wouldn't trade those memories for the world, if you had known your life would soon depend on the ability to swim, you would have paid much more attention to the lessons.

Finnick stood closely beside you, his trident digging into the dirt as he gripped it tightly in case of an attack. He had noticed your drifted attention, observing the way your eyes stared at the rippling water, like death was lurking just beneath the surface waiting to drag you down to the murky depths.

He could protect you from most things in the arena, but fear was something entirely different. A trident couldn't defeat the darkness in your mind.

A hand slid onto your lower back, rubbing gentle strokes to gain your attention. Your gaze tore from the blinding blue and settled onto Finnick's face beside you, watching his mouth curve into a light smile. You knew the silent words he was trying to convey: 'You're okay, sweetheart. I've got you.'

For a fleeting moment, the anxiety had disappeared. How could anything ever go wrong with Finnick by your side? The corners of your mouth quirked, preparing to send him a smile in response. But it never came. Something new had caught your attention. The woman by the water was no longer singing.

Wiress had been murdered.

The second Katniss let her arrow fly into Gloss' chest, everything around you seemed to explode into action. Anything that could go wrong would go wrong—Murphy's Law. And it did.

The Careers had initiated an attack.

Charging forward from the waterside was Cashmere, determined to avenge her brother's death. Instinct quickly kicked in and the spear in your hand was sent barrelling through the air and into her chest. As you watched her body slump to the ground, an enraged yell came from the side.

Finnick was fighting Brutus.

With your only weapon lodged within Cashmere's chest, aiding Finnick was impossible. Enobaria revealed herself beside Brutus, displaying her vicious fangs and throwing a dagger that sliced a small cut across Finnick's shoulder. Though the wound was minor, your heart lurched as he cried out in pain.

Before a single thought in your brain could form, your legs were moving. Not towards Finnick, but after Enobaria. Remember who the real enemy is—screw that. Finnick could have died. Your Finnick. He called out your name, his voice hoarse and frayed, but you continued on, hatred fuelling each step. It seemed Katniss and Johanna had the same idea, following behind you with their weapons bared.

Salt water sprayed onto your face, but you paid it no attention. Nor did you notice as the jungle surrounding the island began to blur into one overwhelming hue of green. Only when your body was thrown to the harsh rocky terrain did you realise what was happening.

The Cornucopia had started to spin.

Nothing could compare to the terror you felt as gravity's merciless force dragged your body toward the violent waves surging against the rocks. Just as your lower legs breached the edge, a hand grabbed onto your own. Katniss. She too was hanging onto Johanna whose only lifeline was an axe buried in the rocks.

A moment—that was all you were given to scan your surroundings. Supplies and sharp-edged weapons were flying everywhere. White water was spraying into the air. Finnick, who was thirty feet away, was gripping onto a rock ledge whilst keeping Beetee from sliding into the furious waves. His head turned to the side and even from a great distance, your eyes met.

It was at that moment you knew, you just knew the odds weren't going to be in your favour. God forbid you lived a simple happy life with the man you loved, days spent together on a calm beach. God forbid the Gamemakers gave you one last chance to be in his arms. God forbid you survived.

And with that sudden realisation, the universe, sick as it was, decided it was time.

Your hand began slipping from Katniss's; an unseen tear fell from your eye, and you smiled. A smile of goodbye sent to the love of your life. His face contorted into one of agony, lips moving but you couldn't hear his voice over the roaring waves. Still, you knew exactly what he was shouting.

"NO! NO!"

There was nothing he could do but watch your body disappear into the waves, repeating over and over "no, no, no," and praying his cruel eyes had deceived him. They hadn't.

Dark blue was in every direction you looked. The undertow tossed and rolled your body like a ragdoll in a washing machine and despite your attempts to swim, the surface only seemed to be slipping further and further out of your reach. Darkness engulfed you, so thick that you couldn't tell which way was up or down. That was when the panic set in.

Your arms and legs thrashed frantically, struggling against the water's force, desperate to reach safety or an air pocket. Cold water flooded your throat as you gasped uncontrollably. You screamed as every attempt at breathing felt like fire burning in your lungs. Finnick. Where was he? Where were you? What was happening? Why wouldn't it stop?

Thoughts submerged your mind in terror, and you were powerless to stop them. All you could do was feel. Pain. Fire. Burning

At some point, the Cornucopia had ceased its spinning and your body came to a rest in the water. An eerie calm suddenly washed over you; a sense of clarity stilled your wild movements. This was the end. There was no future. No hope. The world above wasn't yours to call home anymore. You now belonged to the sea.

Of course, your water-logged mind had forgotten that home was where the heart was, and your heart was still beating... above the surface, in the aching chest of another.

Tendrils of hair floated around your face like fronds of seaweed. Rays of sunlight penetrated the surface, turning the surroundings a vibrant sparkly blue. As you sank further down, the water, now a comfortable lukewarm, cradled you in its embrace. It felt safe, like being in Finnick's arms again. Like home.

You gazed at the sun's rays; they looked beautiful. You felt beautiful. But time was running out and the bright light soon began shrouding your entire vision, though not before you witnessed a dark figure dive beneath the waves.

**********

Finnick loved the ocean. He spent most days in District Four down by the beach, swimming, spearfishing, and watching the sun rise and set on the blue horizon. If he believed in reincarnation, he would have imagined himself to be a lionfish or dolphin in his past life, living in an underwater world, free from tyranny and oppression. He loved the ocean.

But that love was incomparable to what he felt for you. So, when he dove into the rocky waters to save you and felt the currents fighting against him, he determined there was nothing he hated more than the ocean. Not as he watched its strong grip drag your motionless body further down below him.

Your back had just touched the soft seabed when he swam far enough down to envelope you in his embrace. He should have swum you back to the surface immediately, but in his distressed state, he couldn't help but foolishly stare at your lifeless appearance. Your skin was blue. It's just the water's colour, he told himself. Your eyes were closed. She's just asleep. Your neck didn't pulse under his touch. She's... She's...

He had no justification for that. Feet planted firmly on the sandy floor, he propelled both himself and you back up to the surface. As Finnick paddled back to the Cornucopia, the others reached down and helped lift your limp body onto the rocks.

"Is she...?"

"Peeta," Katniss quietly reprimanded him.

Finnick paid them no attention. He said nothing but trauma screamed in his eyes. His breathing was ragged and his hands were trembling as he frantically checked your pulse again—in both your wrists and your neck; he even pressed his ear to your chest. All he heard was the waves lapping against the rocks.

"No," he whispered again.

It seemed to be all he could say anymore. No. No, this couldn't be happening. You were just standing beside him a few minutes ago; your eyes were just looking into his. However much he tried to deny reality, it didn't seem to make it any less true. You were gone.

He choked out a rough determined breath, interlocked his hands over your chest, and began pressing repeatedly over your heart. Wet strands of tangled hair were strewn across the rocks like dead seaweed. The usual soft pink accompanying your cheeks was nowhere to be seen, devoid of any life.

"Come on, sweetheart," he muttered before pulling down your chin to blow air into your lungs. The kiss of life. And when nothing happened as he pulled away, he restarted the chest compressions. "Oh, don't do this to me," he begged, voice breaking. "Don't do this. Breathe."

Any moment now. Any moment, your eyes would flutter open, the colour would return to your glowing skin, and your heart would beat with life beneath his hands. Your lips would whisper his name and he would pull you into his arms, where he would keep you safe until the end of time.

"Breathe."

Thirty compressions. Two breaths. Nothing. He did it again. Thirty compressions. Two breaths. Silence. Maybe he should've just ripped his heart out and replaced yours with his own. Death would come for him within seconds but hearing something beating inside your chest would've made the sacrifice worth it.

Life would flash before his eyes and your beaming smile would be the last thing he'd get to see. His last thought would be of relief that you were alive.

Johanna rested a tentative hand on Finnick's shoulder. "Finnick, she's—"

"No, she's not!" he exclaimed, continuing his movements. "She's fine. Aren't you, baby? You're fine." He cupped your jaw, his thumb stroking your soft skin before he pressed his lips to yours and blew twice. "You're fine."

The golden bangle around his wrist glimmered in the sunshine as he pressed on your ribcage. All he had to do was keep you alive until Plutarch rescued everyone. One simple task and he failed.

"Finnick, we have to go," someone said. Who? He didn't know nor care.

Leave me, he wanted to say. Leave me here to die. Let the Careers mutilate my body, take my life, my last breath, but let it be by her side.

Something cracked beneath his palms and he knew one of your ribs had fractured. His arms stilled, half-expecting you to cry out in pain but then he remembered. And with that sickening crack came a devastating realisation—you really were gone.

A sob erupted from his throat and his head fell to your chest, drenching your already-soaked wetsuit with hot tears. Everything else seemed to disappear. The arena, the Careers who could attack again at any moment, the spectators who were avidly watching. Everything.

It was just him and you. He didn't care that his screams and deafening sobs could bring unwanted attention or jeopardise the group's safety. Any tribute with half a mind would know crossing him in such a state would be a fatal flaw. Even if they did, it wouldn't matter. Nothing mattered. Life no longer had meaning.

Finnick pulled your lifeless body onto his lap and cradled you protectively in his arms, lightly rocking back and forth. His forehead rested against your own, cold and damp. You always were the cold one, needing his touch to light a fire beneath your skin. He loved having you rely on him for warmth, but not like this.

"Come back to me, baby, please," he begged almost inaudibly. Tears were running down his cheeks as he brushed pieces of hair away from your face. His lips were on yours once more, heartbroken and painfully delicate; not to fill your lungs with air, but to fill your heart with his love in the hopes it would be enough to bring it back to life. "Don't leave me."

Pleas, prayers, begs, and wishes flew past his lips, over and over. And then they stopped and Finnick simply stared. Silence fell across the entire arena. The birds didn't chirp, the other tributes remained quiet, and the trees stood still. Even the water had calmed, resembling a perfectly flat mirror.

Finnick only had three words left on his tongue. Three final words to give you, wherever it was that you were. He slowly leaned down, squeezed his stinging eyes shut, and pressed a long farewell kiss to your forehead. His eyes remained closed as he parted from your skin, unable to take another look as he whispered his final goodbye.

"I love you."

And then, for the first time since he had rescued you from the blue depths, he felt his heart beating again. Just like yours was.

**********

There was a voice, distant yet reassuring—a lifeline to consciousness. Black was all there was. Coldness was all that was felt. It was desolate. But that voice... that voice was so anguished yet so familiar and encouraging that it lit a fire inside your chest, warming you from the inside out.

In the distance of the dark void was a figure, their body made entirely out of a pulsating golden light. Each word the voice spoke enhanced the light's brightness. "Come... me, please..." Brighter. "Don't leave..." And brighter.

The light was warm and comforting, just like the voice attached to it. Whoever's voice it was that brought the light resonated deep in your mind, tugging at the strings within your heart.

Your heart.

The thumping in your chest was weak, almost non-existent, but it was still there. Though it seemed time was running out. Pitch-black darkness outweighed the golden light ten-to-one; you could feel its cold breath creeping onto your back. So, you started running towards the figure. Sprinting. Until all that surrounded you was golden.

"I love you."

Water. At first, it came trickling out in two fluid streams from the sides of your mouth. Then suddenly, it was spraying into the air as choked coughs forced the liquid from your burning lungs. Light flooded your vision—not golden and inviting, but vivid and overwhelming.

There was something warm beneath your legs, against your arm, rubbing at your back, holding you in an upright position. While you heaved, dry-retched, and gasped, that soothing warmth remained.

As your airways began to clear and the expulsion of water ceased, your half-lidded eyes rolled around the area. Still dazed and disoriented, you struggled to make out what surrounded you. There was immense rippling blue, vibrant hues of green in the distance, dark rough grey beneath you, and elongated blobs of colour that stood a few feet away.

"Just–just keep breathing, sweetheart." That voice. The one belonging to the figure of light that brought you back. It was madly repeating the same words over and over. "You're okay", "Deep breaths", and "You're alive."

Shaky fingers brushed the stray wet strands of hair from your face. So warm. With the little energy you had, your head turned to seek out the golden light again. And you found it.

The blinding sun shining down reflected off his bronze hair, turning it a divine golden hue. His brows were raised and scrunched together as though he couldn't possibly believe what he was seeing. Deep lines were etched into his tear-streaked skin, evidence of his previous turmoil. Those sea-green eyes stared at you, afraid that if he so much as blinked, you would fall lifeless in his arms once more.

"You're here," he whispered.

Finnick. YourFinnick. Your light.

When your eyes met, a splitting grin lit up his face, made up of an inconceivable amount of raw emotion. You weren't sure what to do—smile, laugh, cry, kiss him? Your mind was scrambled, overwhelmed with love for the beautiful golden-haired man in front of you.

Without warning, your face scrunched up and the tears began flowing. You weren't sure why you were crying. Maybe it was because you had just been brought back from the brink of death; maybe it was because you couldn't believe someone actually cared so deeply about you.

Finnick cradled your face in his hand. "It's okay," his voice trembled, tears now cascading down his cheeks. His smile, however, never disappeared. "You're okay. You're safe now. I'm not letting you go."

He took your face into two large hands, brought you to his lips, and pressed a tender kiss to each tear that rolled over your skin. One of your hands rested over his; the other was placed against his chest, feeling it rise and fall so you could synchronise your breaths.

His arms moved to pull you tightly against him, almost like he was trying to merge your body with his. Or perhaps, it was your soul. You didn't care about the pain aching in one of your ribs. You wanted to tell him that his soul was already intertwined with your own, but words couldn't describe the sentiment as profoundly as you felt it.

In the simplest of terms your water-logged brain could muster, you whispered, "You're my light, Finnick."

Brows scrunched together, he looked down at you, fighting back the urge to start sobbing in your arms. If he had been anywhere else, if there wasn't an entire country watching, he would've gone on for hours, explaining how stupidly, selfishly, and incredibly in love with you he was.

But he couldn't do that. Not now. So, he placed his hand over the one you had resting on his chest and readjusted its position. He could feel the thumping, even through your palm.

Your eyes were full of emotion as you stared up into his. You already knew what his next words were going to be and for the first time since you were thrown into the water from the Cornucopia, you smiled.

Rhythmically, your hand and his pulsed together. Finnick's gaze flickered across your face and he grinned. "You're my heart."

[emmyrosee]

Bakugou is, for all intents and purposes, a massive baby.

God forbid you leave him for ten minutes before he starts wandering around the house looking for you. Mercy on you if you go out to the grocery store and don’t take him. And how dare you even consider get up to get a snack when he's in the bathroom, letting your shared spot get cold.

These things, he can not let go easily.

Naturally, this slips your mind every once in a while because a peaceful life with Bakugou Katsuki doesn't exist. When you forget, he makes it his mission to force you to remember his clingy ass.

Tonight, it would appear to be no different.

It's 02:30 when you snap back to reality, bleary eyes blinking to get your bearings back.

The lamp on the side table blinds you momentarily, there's music coming from the tv- credits, you deduce, from the show Denki had raved to you both about. When you angle your head up, you're met with a firm jawline that lets out a loud snore from the slight disturbance.

Katsuki never was good at staying awake during these things.

Smiling up at him, you're quick to place a tender little kiss on his chin, watching as the corners of his mouth twitches slightly. Gently, you slip out of his arms and cover him with the blanket, using the parted lips releasing the smallest little snores to ensure his slumber. He smacks his lips and turns slightly on his side, as if chasing the warmth you'd taken away, and you click the tv off to keep him in the dark. You shuffle your way into your bedroom to get your own rest; you shiver once you slip under the covers, the fabric cold from the lack of use and lack of Katsuki's body heat.

The minute you do warm up, however, you're out like a light, and you remain so for a few hours.

But then, there's someone at the end of your bed. You feel them, and it wakes you just barely. You shift the blankets higher on your shoulder for protection from whatever your subconsious picks up, and just when you feel normal, something speaks.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

The raspy voice coming from the foot of your bed is more than enough to snap you from your sleep, but it isn’t until you see the massive, bulky frame that your heart sinks and you scream, you scream as loud as you can, immediately scrambling to the corner of your bed.

“Stop screaming, it’s me.”

Your shaking hands immediately shoot to the lamp next to your bed and upon flicking it on, you’re greeted by a sleepy Katsuki, blanket around his shoulders and sleepy scowl on his face, as if you’re the one who just inconvenienced him.

“You freak! What are you doing!” You snap, quickly rubbing your eyes to knock the sleep from them to properly scold. He merely shrugs and smacks his tired lips, indifferent to the previous heart attack he’d given you.

“Left me alone on the couch,” he says, dropping the blanket onto the floor before crawling into bed next to you, casually. “We were snuggling. You abandoned me.”

“You-! I was-! Why-!”

“You’re lucky I love you so much,” he says, burying his face into his pillow and making a grabby hand for you, “c’mere, wanna spoon.”

Your heart, still pounding in your chest, finally lets breaths of air in, your hands trembling as you flick back off the light. You’re still mad, now shaking with fury, and as you roll to have your back facing him, you try to take deep breaths to calm down and not smother the man you somehow chose to love with a pillow.

“Hey,” he grumbles, tugging your sleep shirt. “Come here.”

“I can’t fucking stand you, Katsuki. I don’t even want to be in the same bed as you right now, you scared the fucking shit out of me.”

“Didn’t mean to,” he says softly. “Jus’ wanted to be close to you.”

“And you thought threATENING ME AT THE END OF OUR BED WAS A GOOD WAY TO DO THAT?”

He goes silent, and you almost think he’s given up, and just as you blink your stinging eyes, he suddenly rolls on top of you, knocking the wind out of you at his heaviness.

“Katsuki!” You scold, but it’s shrouded in laughter, an absolute contrast of how you just were talking all of ten seconds ago.

“Now you can’t leave,” he says, cockily. “You wake me again and I will kill you.”

“You woke me up just now! You could’ve easily come to bed like any sane person!”

“….”

“Katsuki!”

“Cant hear you, I’m asleep.”

“KATSUKI!”

[lovegasmic]

MY STRANGE ADDICTION

──── . curse!toji fushiguro + sorcerer fem!reader  

 𝜗𝜚 mdni◞ slight dub con just at the beginning ◞ handcuffed sex◞ breeding kink◞ mild pussy slapping ◞ name calling : slut ◞ petnames: princess, angel , good girl. rewritten and reposted . ★ taglist

“I will be alright”

you had grinned at Nanami that one afternoon, his usual calm face held a slightly concerned look, surprisingly still present on even though you were already miles away from where goodbyes were exchanged.

“it's a low rank curse, it should be fine”

but it really wasn’t.

the report mentioned some passersby’s warning over a strange metal clanking sound in a nearby abandoned building, —nothing out of the ordinary really, adding to the faint, almost imperceptible cursed energy found in the surroundings everyone agreed it was some low rank curse doings.

yet an eerie feeling was palpable left and right, coldness digging deep into your bones and making the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.

much against your initial perception, the curse didn’t attack, and instead, it cornered you into a windowless floor, much obviously the building was still on construction due to it’s bare walls and floors where it hid in the dark, like a predator hunting its prey, and much to your disadvantage, you were the latter.

the rapid and loud thumping of your heart rang in your ears, slightly muffling the startling voice the curse held, although you didn’t expect for it’s first words to be “you’re way too pretty to be a sorcerer”

“huh?!” jaw slack —from what it seemed— he, chuckled at your body’s automatic response, feeling your stomach drop at the deep and manly voice resonating through the walls and hallways.

you swallow hard “what the fuck does that mean?”

the curse laughed again, shifting in his place to take a step, two steps closer to the moonlight light coming from the wall opening and reflecting on the floor, one that barely got to show a portion of his shadow.

“what i’m saying is...” the voice came from your back, startling you enough to steal a gasp before it moved again, “...I would hate for a pretty thing like you to get killed so easily”

“if someone is dying today, that's you” you spoke, fake confidence helping you cope with what could possibly be your imminent death. this curse wasn’t one to mess with, you were certain.

“hm?” he smirks, “why don’t we test that out?” he whispers in your ear, and a second later, you’re on the floor, not giving you time to react to the inhuman speed the curse possessed, will definitely sport a couple of bruises later on from the hit and a makeshift handcuff that held onto your wrist, it’s coldness and weight reminding you of metallic chains.

“let me go” you grit, and much to your disgust, your mouth going dry the moment the curse got into the light didn’t help, hating to admit a slight throb in your pussy —and shoulders, due to the awkward position, laying barely propped up by your elbows.

he was terribly hot, dark tight shirt clinging on his broad chest and disappearing underneath gray joggers that only fueled your dirty thoughts.

“stop squirming, you have nowhere to go right now” his laugh echoes as loud as his shoes click right before your pity form, coming to your height dark pupils, almost fully engulfing the color of his irises and matching messy hair falling on them.

you had to earn time, strike a stupid conversation or anything that could win you some time until anyone came to your rescue after noticing the long absence, but the man smirked down at you in such a mischievous way you couldn’t help and try to push on his chest, screaming internally when the tall wall of muscle didn’t even budge, and instead, wrapped his fingers around your ankle.

“don’t touch me!” you half shout, both at the surprise of his movements, and the slight shiver engulfing your body from the calloused fingertips coming in contact with the bare skin right here your pants raised.

there’s a tsk coming from his lips right before sliding his huge hand across your leg, slowly enough for you to stop him, yet your body remained still, frozen against the cold marble floor.

“you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

he whispers in your ear, leaning close enough into your ear until nothing but a breeze could separate his lips from your skin.

“fuck you” you hiss, empty words not matching the way you pliantly let the man, curse, touch you, both hands resting on your thighs, your waist, snaking a single thumb across the side of your covered breasts that rise and fall with each harsh breathing.

“that’s what I plan on doing”

for the second time in the night, your head fogs at the sudden movement, knees landing roughly on the floor with a pained gasp as you stare into the wall, your back arched in a very, suggestive way towards the man.

“i bet you’re fucking wet” he chuckles, “what a slut, in this situation, really?, do you not get fucked well enough?”

lips part to talk back, anger and embarrassment burning on your face, but the fact was undeniable, now obvious to him since his rough fingertips came in contact with the crotch of your elastic pants, rubbing across your slit through the fabric, rough enough for your growing wetness to seep towards the exterior.

“fuck— naughty girl” he is very much enjoying this, palming his already hard cock through the loose fabric of his own pants. “gonna take care of you, princess, fuck you nice and good til’ that pretty head of yours goes dumb”

it’s involuntary the moan that escapes your lips, suddenly losing balance until your cheek is pressed against the cold floor. a lewd sight of your willing body all pliant for him.

“name’s Toji” he huffs, leaving a single sharp slap on your ass before shredding the cloth down along your drenched panties, enough for his thighs to come between yours and stretch them, leaving your pussy to his lustful gaze, “remember the name you’ll be screaming tonight”

the curse, or now, Toji’s words are remarked with a couple soft slaps on your throbbing clit with the tip of his cock, making your thighs twitch and whimpers escape at the sensation and disgustingly nasty sound of creamy wetness sticking.

he’s big. incredibly big and stretching you so well your breath comes out unsteady and erratic, nails digging against your own palms as to conceal the pleasure you’re currently feeling, something no one has ever made you feel before.

“T-toji...” you whine for the first time, deep down loving how his name felt on your lips.

“that’s right” he grunts, slowly but steadily feeding your cunt the rest of his fat cock, his own breathing coming in stuttered huffs with how tight you felt, “you’re squeezing me so fuckin’ much, you just needed a fat cock to satisfy you, isn’t that right, angel?”

“ha— ngh!” you sob, toes curling in your shoes when his heavy balls kiss your clit, and then he’s fucking you with abandon, holding onto one of your shoulders to pull your upper body up, forcing you to meet his thrusts that almost knock the air out of your lungs.

“good fuckin’ girl” Toji’s laugh resonates through the empty concrete floor, mingling alongside the wet sound your slapping flesh, it’s dark and dangerous, but still makes your cunt flutter, “do you like how I ruin your unprotected human pussy?”

for a second, your eyes cross, brain shuts and opts not to reply, deciding to keep at least a bit of dignity instead of babbling a cockdrunken nonsense that would have seeped out due to Toji’s cock continuously slamming against your sweet spot, forcing waves of slick to drool out of your slit and stain your thighs and floor, mixed with the creamy precum coating your sensitive walls.

“answer me, darling” a rough hand comes to cup your jaw, forcing your head up until his lips ghost over the skin of your cheek, hips rutting into your slit and forcing his length a bit deeper into your abused pussy.

"y-yes!, feels so good" you stutter, eyes rolled back and hair clinging to every corner of your forehead, unaware of the movement of your own hips in an attempt to fuck yourself back on him.

“good girl” Toji leaves a single chaste kiss on your cheek, taking his previous position, although this time he forces your waist to arch deeper, almost mounting you before resuming his thrusts, “gonna show you how I breed pretty girls like you”

you whimper his name in approval, completely gone while letting him use you, positively drooling onto the floor and making a mess like he’s doing with your cunt.

with a choked out sob, you cream all over his length, shaking and crying while clinging to the chains around your wrists, yet he didn’t stop, fucking the white ring of cum back into your drenched pussy.

he’s forcing your ass cheeks open, aiming for your cervix before filling your hole with thick cum that comes out with a grunt and a groan, hips rolling, grinding and forcing you to milk that load out of his tip.

you know for a fact, that after that night, you became utterly ruined for any other man. since no one could ever fuck you like the curse you were supposed to exorcise.

he leaves a sharp slap on your overflowing pussy, loud and wet enough for your mixed fluids to splatter, right on time before hearing footsteps on the first floor of the building, —perhaps your reinforcements that might take a while to reach the high floor you were currently at. and then he’s quick on his feet, untangling your bound hands while chuckling at the yelp and beautiful sight of his cum oozing from your hole.

“if you want another load, you know where to find me”

[swordsandholly]

Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor anothology

MDNI | poly 141 x fem fat reader | masterlist | cw: oral (reader receiving)

Part Ten: Permission

A/N: We're SO back!

You’ve never been so happy to work an extra day.

Johnny gets the shop to himself on Sundays for walk-ins. Usually, he mans the shop by himself but you need to record the cash income from the convention in the ledger. Sure, you could do that during your usual hours the upcoming Wednesday and catch up on sleep, but you have too much nervous energy coursing through you. If you were home you would just be stewing on your couch the hole day and probably spiral into a panic attack. At least here, with a task and Johnny yapping in your ear, you don’t have to think about the fact that you made out with your boss too much.

Fuck. You really did that. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

You woke up in a cold sweat, fingers brushing over your lips as you tried to decipher if it was real or dreamed. If you really kissed John, if he really held a hand on your lower back as he walked you home, if he really gave you a second, light peck before saying goodnight. The itch of his beard lingers, as well as the warmth where his hands cupped your face. It felt so good. So fucking good.

Then the context settles in. The fact that you kissed your boss makes you want to throw up - not for any dislike of it, just the fact that your job is now in limbo. Hanging in the balance until you can talk to him on Wednesday. At least you can take the next couple days to collect your thoughts - come up with a good apology that will hopefully let you keep your job and some semblance of dignity. Somehow make sense of the fact that you’ve kissed John and Kyle and surely when they find out they’ll think you’re a floosy. Loose and easy and pathetic and gross. You couldn’t quite meet your own eye in the mirror as you tried to get ready for the day.

The current, formerly “Future You” is not very happy with the now Past You. Frankly, you’d like to deck her for leaving you in this state of a permanent heart attack.

“Och, I’m about tae melt.” Johnny mutters, appearing from his room and stretching. His shirt rides up, exposing a thick happy trail that does not help you in your current spiral.

You just hum, gluing your eyes to the physical spreadsheet in front of you as you go through the sales from the convention. Numbers will clear your head. Yeah, nothing less sexy or more distracting than trying to do math with pen, paper and a TI-84 calculator.

“We should go get some ice cream.” Johnny leans over behind you, causing you to jump. Large hands settle on your shoulders as he rests his chin on the top of your head. At least Johnny is always touchy, you don’t have to read into it. You don’t think you could handle reading into it right now.

“Uh, yeah, okay.” You murmur, letting him lead you out of the office and flipping the out for lunch sign. You’ve been so lost in your head the entire day that you can’t fully pull yourself out of it - the same spiral of fears and self-degradation swirling around in your mind. A Cat 5 tornado of your own making. So stupid.

Johnny intertwines your fingers as you make your way down the street. Your hands swing lightly as you walk. Even with the heat, it doesn’t feel like too much. You’re not sure what it is - of you’re just comfortable or if Johnny just has something about him that makes touch feel perfectly natural - but it’s never overwhelming. Even when he’s hanging off you like a leech, it’s just Johnny. He doesn’t make you talk, doesn’t pry into why you’re so spaced out. He probably just thinks you’re tired. You are tired. So tired.

You don’t realize Johnny is saying something until he gently elbows your side. “Huh?”

“What d’ye want?” Johnny asks with a concerned furrow in his brow.

“Oh, uh, I can get my own-“

”My treat.” He shakes his head, batting away the hand pulling your wallet out of your back pocket. You have no choice but to give in to him - there isn’t any point in arguing with Johnny.

“Thanks for suggesting this.” You murmur, as you sit at one of the wooden, outdoor tables in front of the shop a couple blocks down from the tattoo parlor. The tables are covered in the shade of trees and an awning, luckily, keeping the sun from beating down on you. It doesn’t stop your ice cream from melting nearly faster than you can eat it, but you don’t have the heart to complain after Johnny took you out and bought it for you.

“Aye. Seemed like ye needed some cheerin’ up. Never seen ye so sullen.” Johnny comments, casually stuffing a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. His eyes are sympathetic, though.

“Oh.” You thought you’d been doing alright at hiding it - came into the shop with a jokes and everything this morning. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how much Johnny actually notices between all his volume and energy.

“Gonnae tell me about it?”

“No.”

“Might help.”

You shake your head. “I- I’m- I can’t.”

“Okay.” He smiles gently, giving you a once over. His eyes are so sharp. The others do it too - take your body language in piece by piece. It doesn’t burn like when Johnny does it, though. His gaze is consuming, even when soft.

He seems to let you off the hook, though. It’s impossible to know how much he does or doesn’t know - how much any of them know. It puts you on edge, the inability to ask. After all, to ask is to admit. If you admit to it, you might lose it all. Fuck why did you kiss John? Kyle you can explain away - just a fun little bet. You’re close in age, he’s pretty, you’re together a lot, you get along. Nothing to it - even if it feels like there was. Even if it feels like every time you’re near him you’re going to melt and the air gets too thick and all you want is to pull him to the back room one more time.

John… John you can’t justify like that. He’s your boss. He’s over a decade older than you. Easily. He’s been so good to you but that’s not an excuse - it’s not right. You’re jeopardizing his place in his community. You’re jeopardizing your job. The best job you’ve ever had. The best friends you’ve ever had.

You can feel Johnny glancing at you as you walk, your eyes square on the ground and fists clenched anxiously. The heat outside only makes your head spin faster. Your cheeks feel feverishly hot. The ice cream almost curdles in your gut. Everything is too loud, too hot, too heavy.

You glance up at the clock. The day’s almost over - there probably won’t be more than one or two people that file in at most. You’ve finished with your work, currently just cross hatching on a sticky note in an attempt to calm your frayed nerves. It hasn’t worked. You need a distraction. A real, proper distraction.

“Johnny.” You snap, standing in the door way to his workroom.

“Hm?” He looks up, thick brows raised.

“I want a piercing.”

He cocks his head, taking you in from head to toe. “Aye?”

“If you have time.”

“I’ve always got time fer ye.” He grins.

You almost roll your eyes, but you’re too raw at the edges to really care about his usual flirting. There’s too much weighing on your mind - too much real anxiety knotting itself around your synapses and crushing them in it’s hold. The pain will help. It’ll ground you - sharpen your senses. You can focus on taking care of it for the next couple days between sleeping the days away until Wednesday. Until you can get this shit over with.

The only answer is to quit, right?

That’s your only option.

“What d’ye want?” Johnny asks.

You shrug. “What’d you think?”

He taps his chin, eyes slowly making their way over your body. You wonder if he can see how tense you are - body so locked up your joints ache and your jaw throbs. It’s a wonder your teeth are still there with how much you’ve been grinding them.

“How about a navel?”

“Okay.” You agree too quickly, flopping back on the pairing table. You focus in on a water mark on the ceiling above while Johnny digs through his tool cabinet, laying everything neatly on a small rolling tray.

Johnny stops above you. You don’t even turn your head to look, fists clenching and unclenching.

You’ll have to quit.

That’s your only choice. No reference calls, no contact. Will Simon hate you? Will they all? Will they talk about why you up and left? Will they show up at your apartment to demand an answer? No. You don’t mean that much - only a blip on the timeline of their shop. The corners of your eyes burn.

Johnny’s fingers skate over your soft middle, barely touching as he passes over the button of your jeans. He pauses, glancing down at you. “Bonnie?”

“Yeah?” You reply a little too harshly.

Johnny leans over you, hands on either side of your head, blue eyes burning through your skull. He blocks out the light above. “Yer doin’ this because ye want to, yeah? Not to punish yerself?”

You shrink into the table, hackles raising. It really is so easy to forget that Johnny is an observant bastard. Loud, brash, but he still sees everything. Like how he learned your coffee order by heart without you ever even saying it to him or having it written on the cup. He absorbs things, files it away, keeps it close to his chest and hides it behind his blunt, brash daily manners. You’ll miss him.

“I- yeah, I’m fine.” You wince internally at the shake in your voice.

“Y’know, we all love ye.” Johnny murmurs.

You huff, eyes darting anywhere to get away from his. Laying on the table suddenly feels slightly trapping. You can’t get your gaze fully away from where he stands over you - so close as his thick arms cage you in. “Guess so.”

“An’ there’s nothin’ tae feel guilty or bad about.”

Your eyes snap to his face, wide and worried. Does he know? Was he told? Do you ask? If you ask, you’ll be admitting to it. If you ask, then he will know for sure. If you ask, you might ruin it all. “I don’t-“

“Ye do.” He cuts you off. “An’ ye have permission, even if ye dinnae need it. It’s okay. Ye havennae done anythin’ wrong.”

You stare, mouth opening and closing lamely. Johnny. Straight forward, loud mouth, unsubtle Johnny. Fuck, you love him for it. Doesn’t dance around what he means. Doesn’t avoid what needs to be said - from his end, at least.

“Did- did you talk to-?” You stutter, struggling between needing to know and fear to admit the truth so blatantly. Even if he obviously knows something.

“Not really. Not my business.” Johnny shrugs casually.

Not his business. So they persue separately, you think. That makes sense. Probably. It’s probably wrong to make assumptions about the dynamic, about the implication that they have some sort of free for all. Then again, you don’t really know anything about their interpersonal workings much. They live together, they’re touchy. The dynamic is a mystery to you - only adding to the piles of confusion.

“Yer thinkin’ tae hard about it.” He pokes the furrow between your brows.

Oh. Is that it? You’re overthinking? No, adults talk about these things. You don’t understand the interpersonal workings here at all. Are they together? Do they just do this? Pull girls in and push them around until they get tired? That feels too cruel for them. They’ve taken such good care of you…

“I still… want to talk.” You murmur, cheeks warm.

His face softens, a light smile tugging at his lips. “An’ ye will. Kyle’s been damn near loosin’ it with ye avoiding him.”

“I’m not avoiding him!” You snap far too defensively.

“Sure ye aren’t.” Johnny shrugs, as if to tell you he knows that’s bull. Not his business, though, he said. “Just… donnae be so scared of us, aye? We’ve got yer back.”

Your shoulders drop, sore from being tensed for the entire day. “Okay.”

“Still want tae get peirced?”

You nod, chest far less tight. As though you finally let go of a breath you had been holding the entire day. “Sure, why not.”

Your shoulders slump as Johnny makes his way through the usual song and dance - showing you the freshly cleaned tools and marking the spot for the needle. Somehow the world seems… quieter. As if all the chatter in your mind had been just as deafening to your physical ears. It’s tiring. That same sting behind your eyes that you get after a long night out. Your defenses are down, and your body is finally at rest.

“Ow!” You gasp, lifting your head to meet Johnny’s impish grin with a glare. “A little warning next time!”

“Tha’s what happens when ye donnae listen.” He teases, slipping the jewelry through. “She’s cute.”

You snort. “She better be. Y’know I should tell John on you for improper conduct.”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Aye, ye an’ Price know plenty about improper conduct.”

There’s no malice in the comment, or in the grin he settles on you. For once, you don’t freeze up. Don’t send yourself into a panic spiral over what he knows or thinks or feels. Johnny made himself clear. Instead you land a light smack against his arm and huff in embarrassment.

“Stand f’me.” Johnny murmurs after cleaning the piercing, a heat in his eyes that you can’t quite gauge the source of.

You do as you’re told, slipping off the table. You have to hook a finger into the waistband of your jeans to keep them up, cheeks hot as you realize how much is actually exposed with the fully undone fly. You glance up at a far too pleased Johnny. Didn’t even say a word, the mischievous bastard.

He drops to his knees in front of you. Your brows shoot damn near into the sky. Johnny mumbles something about making sure the piercing is sitting right. You roll with it, knowing he’s probably just saying whatever to get you to keep your pants undone a little longer. Your breath quickens as a large, warm hand flattens itself over your soft belly, unabashedly groping. Not that you mind, really, even if it does make your face so hot it might melt.

Your heart almost breaks out of your rib cage when he places a small kiss next to the piercing. His hand lowers, resting beside yours on the waistband of your jeans.

“May I?” Johnny murmurs, big blue eyes blinking up at you.

You have permission.

You don’t need permission.

You have it, though.

“Yeah.” You gasp, shivering at the cold air on your skin as Johnny pulls your pants halfway down your thighs.

“Pretty, pretty lass.” He murmurs, nipping at the softness of your belly and down to your thigh. “Look at ye.”

“Flatterer.” You scoff, attempting to let the tension melt off your shoulders with the usual snide remarks you slide each others way.

“M’just honest…” Johnny mumbles absently, fingers catching in the hems of your underwear. “Ye always walkin’ around in somethin’ this skintie?”

For a moment, your brows knit in confusion. That is until he pulls back and snaps the string of your thong against your hip. Your face somehow gets even hotter and you grumble out a poor excuse of, “S’laundry day…”

Your hips twitch as he traces between your lips through the cloth. So uncharacteristically slow and methodical for Johnny as he feels you, like he’s trying to memorize it. A shamefully harsh jolt runs up your spine as he presses just slightly into your clit.

“Sensitive little thing.” Johnny grins up at you. You swear the devil has a less delinquent grin.

“It’s been a while.” You shrug, aiming once again for casual and missing by a mile.

His grin only grows, eyes bright and hungry. “Let’s get these off.”

You shimmy your hips a bit to help him get both your underwear and jeans completely down. A wave of shyness overtakes you as it settles in that you’re utterly exposed to Johnny, your friend and coworker, in the middle of your workplace just as the sun has begun to edge down close to the horizon. It’s almost too much, and you almost yank your pants back on with a stammered, fake excuse, but Johnny soothes his hands up your thighs, gaze locked onto your pussy like it’s the only thing that exists and yeah… you want that.

You have permission.

“There she is.” He cups you gently, grinding the heel of his hand against your clit just hard enough to make you gasp.

Before you can say or do anything his hand retracts and Johnny settles you with the most serious look you’ve ever seen from him. It looks wrong, almost, on that face that’s supposed to have a permanent ear to ear grin.

“If ye want tae stop, I need ye tae tell me now.”

“No.” The word leaves you before you can even register the thought - desperate and breathy.

It earns a low chuckle. The only warning you get before Johnny licks a long stripe up between your lips, letting his tongue rest on your clit for just a moment before repeating the motion as though he’s not just eating you out but truly trying to truly get a taste for you. To memorize you as he drinks you in.

“Should let me give you a Christina…” He murmurs, pulling back to look at you.

“Ah, wha-“

“Look so pretty on this fat little cunt.” Johnny gives you a light smack for good measure, grinning at the visible jolt that travels up your spine before diving back in. He hooks a leg over his shoulder, leaving you balancing on your tip toes with your hands flat on the table behind you. It’s precarious and with absolutely no room to escape the attention he’s lavishing on you. It’s almost desperate, the way he moves. The way he devours. A man utterly starved.

“Fuck-“ you gasp as his tongue piercing catches your clit. Rough hands knead at the softness of your thighs and hips, urging you to press into him, to take as much as he’s giving.

“Tha’s it, ride m’face…” Your fingers lock into his mohawk and Johnny’s slurred words become the most pornographic moan you think you’ve ever heard. He practically goes limp - body relaxed and pliant while you grind down onto his tongue.

You tilt your head forward, risking looking down only to meet those big blue eyes staring up at you with all the intensity of the sun. A shaky moan passes your lips and his eyes flutter.

“J-Johnny-” The whine of his name only spurs him on - has him pressing his tongue so deep inside you and drinking you in full.

If he has any complaints about the way your heel digs between his shoulder blades as you unconsciously pull him closer, he doesn’t make it known. His nails rake over your ass, biting and stinging in contrast to everything else. It’s so much. Heat continues to pool at the base of your spine - babbling words, please and moans spill messily from your lips.

Your climax catches you off guard as Johnny sucks harshly at your clit; lighting your body aflame with only his mouth. Every muscle inside you tenses and the sounds you let out can only be described as strangled whines.

You have to yank a little at Johnny’s hair to get him to stop when the overstimulation reaches just the wrong side of too much; he’s well and truly lost in the moment. It fuels your ego to dangerous heights - the idea that this gorgeous man became that intoxicated just from your pussy.

There isn’t even time to say anything before Johnny is standing and connecting his lips with yours. You taste yourself on his tongue, his lips - somehow this is the first time you’ve found that pleasant. With heavy breaths you watch him wipe around his mouth his his palm, only to exaggeratedly lick and clean what’s left off his hand. Fucking sinful.

“Nasty man.” You sigh, too blissed out to be truly critical. Johnny winks and you roll your eyes.

“S’about quittin’ time.” He says, tilting his head to look up at you through thick lashes. “Should get ye home.”

You frown, still trying to come back to earth as you glance down. “Don’t- do you want-?”

He looks you over, your mouth goes dry as his hand drops from your hip to adjust himself. The implications of the outline through his thick denim has your head reeling and your breath quickening. Johnny chuckles at you, surely seeing it written plain across your face. You might as well start drooling and panting like a dog.

He buries his nose into the crook of your neck to nip at your skin. “Another time. Want tae savor ye.”

You shiver, unable to stop the smile that quirks up the corners of your lips. You have permission. You don’t need it, but you have it.

A/N: Sorry if this is a little rough, I'm getting back into the swing of things. It's finally time for things to get fun, tho ;)

Also please give some love to this AMAZING fanart from @eurydicescurse

[juneofdoom]

What up, whump fam?!

June of Doom 2024 Prompts!

We've brought back some old favorites/ popular prompts from last year with a healthy dash of new!

Please feel free to participate with original or fan works of any kind (writing, photos, gifs, mood boards, videos, songs, whatever creative medium your heart desires!). You can do one or all of the prompts on any given day, and if none are to your liking, check out the alternate prompts!

Two rules this year!

As with last year, tag your stuff with appropriate warnings, plzkthnx.

AI-created content is highly discouraged and frowned upon. I have no way of "checking", but I respect the time and effort people put into their crafts and encourage everyone to do the same. This isn't a contest for best written or prettiest art — it's a challenge, so challenge yourself.

[AO3 Collection] - "JUNEOFDOOM2024"

Text list below the cut for easier crossings-off. And don't forget to tag @juneofdoom so I can reblog your awesome here! Have fun!

“Help me.”                                        | Failed Escape | On the Run | Fetal Position |

“It didn’t have to be this way.”             | Scream | Double Cross | Made to Watch |

“Well, well, well…”                            | Hiding | Ambushed | Stalking |

“Does that hurt?”                               | Impalement | Fracture | Punishment |

“It’s not as bad as it looks.”                 | Bite | Swelling | Disfiguration |

“They don’t care about you.”               | Flinch | Broken Promise | Abandoned |

“What happened?”                            | Nightmare | Isolation | Stumbling |

“This is your last chance.”                    | Drowning | Chair | Prisoner Trade |

“I made a mistake.”                            | Accident | Acceptance | Blame |

“Can you hear me?”                           | Fear | Smoke | Phone Call |

“We’re out of time.”                           | Bleeding Out | Collapse | Flatline |

“I can’t stand seeing you like this.”        | Dehydration | Grief | Coma |

“Wait!”                                             | Sacrifice | Adrenaline | Cornered |

“What were you thinking?”                  | Surrender | Human Shield | Outmatched |

“Get me out of here!”                         | Rescue | Chainsaw | Presumed Dead |

“At least it can’t get any worse.”           | Secret | Stranded | Setback |

“You don’t want to do that.”                | Struggle | Blackmail | Desperate Measures |

“I’m fine.”                                         | Self-defense | Allergies | Headache |

“This can’t be happening!”                  | Sobbing | Straitjacket | Dissociation |

“I can handle it.”                                | Scrape | Panic Attack | Neglect |

“Let’s play a game. “                           | Stairs | Pressure Points | Trap Door |

“What’s the bad news?”                      | Poison | Bedridden | Cauterization |

“You’re doing great.”                         | Trembling | Gaslighting | Rules |

“Let’s get you cleaned up.”                  | Blankets | Stitches | Bandages |

“I should have listened to you.”           | Guilt | Backseat | Failure |

“Don’t lie to me.”                               | Rage | Choke | Paranoia |

“Or what?”                                       | Defiance | Display | Last Resort |

“Say something.”                               | Numb | Cold Shoulder | Gag |

“I’m so cold.”                                    | Delirium | Fever | Exposure |

“Breathe, damn you!”                         | Shock | Asphyxiation | Emergency Room |

ALTERNATE PROMPTS

“Who did this to you?”

“Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m not okay.”

“Don’t make me say it again.”

“You poor thing.”

Attending Your Own Funeral

Broken Glass

Mask

Whip

Obedience

[0mg-bird]

Caught In The Rain ~ Tyler Owens x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your date with Tyler gets spoiled when a storm rolls in, but there’s an upside to getting caught in the rain.

Warnings: Smut! And cursing

This was only your second date, but Tyler has been pining for you for a while. Sitting in the same booth in your section, he’d order the same thing and hang around the diner where you worked for too long. At first, you wanted nothing to do with his conceited energy, but after you finally got to know him a little better, you came around to the idea of having dinner with him.

The first date went well, the night was fun and romantic, and now as he picks you up to spend the day on his family property, you imagine it will be the same. He had everything planned, it would just be the two of you. You’d have lunch on the deck, you’d go horseback riding down to the creek and maybe have a few drinks.

So far, everything was going perfectly, it wasn’t until the two of you sat on the creek bed that trouble started to arise.

Tyler sat with his back against a tree, you laid between his long legs with your back to his chest. The two of you drank your beers while he told you a story from his bull riding days.

“I hit the mud pretty hard, I honestly thought I broke my back.” He said, letting his fingers brush through your hair.

A shiver ran through you at the intimate touch. “Wow, you have to be some kind of crazy in order to willingly get on an animal who wants to stomp you into the ground.” You say, trying not to focus on the heat flushing through you.

Tyler chuckles, the shake of his chest vibrates you. “You aren’t the first person to tell me that. My mama thought that when I gave up rodeo, she’d finally not have to worry about me, but then I told her I was gonna be a storm chaser and she about had a heart attack.”

You laugh as you bring the can to your lips, about to tell him something when the rumble of thunder in the distance catches your attention. The two of you look up to the once clear sky to see the way dark clouds roll in.

“Well, Mr Weatherman, that doesn’t look good to me.” You say, making him sigh.

“No, it doesn’t.”

You stand, immediately he misses your touch. “I don’t have my degree in meteorology or anything but it looks like we better head back.”

He follows suit. “There goes the day I had planned.”

He can’t help but feel utterly disappointed as the first few drops of rain come. You look to him in guidance.

“I take it you didn’t have ‘rain soaked evening’ on your list, huh?”

He shakes his head. “No, it wasn’t exactly on my agenda.” Then, he urges the horse he was on to go a little faster. “Let’s go before we melt out here.”

Despite the two of you racing each other back to the barn, by the time you got there, the light drizzle had become a full on downpour. The two of you quickly untack the horses and put them back in their stalls. You stand at the large barn door and look at each other.

“Ready?” He asks you, taking in the way your wet hair falls in a perfectly messy way.

You bite your lip, then nod. “I’m ready when you are.”

He slowly reaches to grasp your hand, a spark goes through him as he sees the way it fits in his. “Alright, let’s hope we don’t drown on the way back to the house.”

You laugh, then tug him along with you as you brave the storm. Cold and thick water droplets pummel the two of you as you race back to shelter, thunder claps, making you shake in surprise. You can’t stop your giggle as you become soaked to the bone, Tyler quickly pulls open the screen door and urges you inside.

You shiver, dripping onto the hardwood floors. “That was brutal.” You say as your teeth chatter.

He pulls you into his arms, embracing you. “Jesus, you’re freezing, sweetheart.”

You nod feverishly, laying your head against his chest. “I feel you shaking too, cowboy, you aren’t fooling me.”

He pulls away, only to guide you up the stairs.

“Tyler, we’re dripping water everywhere.” You fuss.

“I’ll clean it up later, c’mon.”

In his bathroom, he hands you a fluffy towel. You take it gratefully and soak up the water caught in your hair. Your cheeks are flushed and you’re slightly out of breath still, too focused on drying your skin to notice the way Tyler is looking at you.

As he runs his own towel over his head, he takes in your form. Still shaking, eyes wide, clothes soggy, you look absolutely beautiful.

“I’m sorry the night’s ruined.” He tells you, making you look up at him finally.

His white t shirt is practically transparent now and it clings to his upper body deliciously. His hair looks darker and it lays against his forehead.

“The night isn’t ruined, I had a great time.” You smile.

The two of you stand in silence for a moment, staring deeply at each other before Tyler clears his throat. “You can let your boots dry in here.” He says, kicking off his own boots.

“Oh.” You blush at the way he moves past the moment so quickly. “Thanks.”

Once you’re out of your soggy shoes, he brings you into his bedroom as he searches for some clothes you can wear. The large window is covered in rain and flashes of lightning light up the room every once in a while.

“Here you go, you’ll warm up once you’re out of your wet stuff.” He hands you one of his t shirts and a pair of boxers, you take them with gratitude.

“Thank you.”

You look at the clothes in your hand, then to him, then to the door. When he gets the hint, he scrambles. “Right, sorry, sorry.”

He leaves the room, you hide your smile as you slowly shut the door. Tyler stands, trying not to be too perverted but he can’t help himself, he watches through the crack the door left when you didn’t shut it all the way. You peel your soaked shirt off and drop it to the floor, then un button your jeans. As you pull them down your legs, he takes in a deep breath.

There you stood, half naked in his bedroom.

The sight of you sent a rush of attraction through his body, his skin buzzed. He sees you pick up the shirt, then pause.

You turn, facing the door before stopping.

You knew he was right there on the other side of it, looking utterly perfect. Would he reject you? Would he tell you it’s too soon?

Your chest pumps up and down as you try to talk yourself out of it, but you can’t. You stalk to the door, pulling it open and there he was, already looking at you.

Without a word, he’s embracing you, one hand on your cheek, the other on your bare waist as he bruises his lips onto yours. You breathe him in, pulling him closer as he backs you into the room.

Kissing him was something you can’t believe you ever missed out on. He meets your motions perfectly, tilting his head to slot his mouth with yours. You groan, hands pulling at his wet t shirt. He pulls back, letting you take it off.

“Do you want this?” He asks, watching you look over his toned upper body.

You meet his starving eyes and nod. “I do.”

Immediately, he pulls his belt loose and unzips his jeans. You pull him back to you, lightly gasping as the backs of your knees hit the edge of his bed. With light pressure, he pushes you to sit. Your greedy hands tug his jeans down his thighs, you continue to shake as you stare at him in just a pair of boxers.

“Are you shaking cause of the rain or because of me?” He asks, his hand burying in your hair.

“Both.” You look up at him with round eyes.

His thumb strokes your cheek. “We don’t have to.”

“No.” You shake your head. “I want it, Ty. I’m just a little…nervous.”

His brows furrow. “I’ve got you, don’t worry.”

Looking down at you, asking for him, it makes his brain short circuit. He leans down, hands on either side of you, pressed into his mattress, his body movement urges you to scoot up the bed before he’s laying you flat. Hands in his hair, you get lost in the feeling of his tongue pressing against yours. Your eyes are heavy, but as he separates your thighs and slots himself between them, you’re on high alert.

Your knees cage his hips in, when he deepens the kiss further, you can feel the brush of his hard on against the growing heat between your legs. You lightly gasp, you didn’t want to admit it but the feel of him was intimidating.

Tyler pulls away, staring down at you with deep eyes. “I’m kind of grateful for the rain now, I wouldn’t have been able to get this close without it.” He says in a heavy tone. You sit up just a touch so he can unclasp your bra, then he’s pulling it off to join the other soggy clothes on the floor.

“How do you know that it’s all the rains fault?” You question, trying to sound coy but as his large hand palms your breast, your voice wavers and you fall back against the pillows.

Tyler grins at the reaction. “Would you have let me touch you like this if it had turned out to be a calm evening?” His mouth takes a moment to work down your neck.

“I’m sure the storm helps.” You groan, a strike of lightning illuminating the shape of him.

You watch his head as he dips to kiss over your breasts, hot and open mouthed kisses that have your skin aflame. He trails down your stomach, kissing just below your naval as he pulls at the lace of your underwear. He looks up at you, making sure what he’s doing is okay before he does it.

You watch his back flex, the low light painting him in such an artistic way. You squirm with anticipation, and when his fingers collect the arousal of your core, you can’t help but whimper. He curls his two fingers up your center, swiping perfectly at the bundle of nerves that longs for affection.

“Do you like this?” He asks, slowly pressing into your entrance.

“Yes.” You shutter. Clenching around his fingers, you can feel precisely the way he pumps his pointer and middle finger in and out of you, slowly at first. The action has you taking shallow breaths. “Don’t act like you’re going to break me.” You say, digging your heels into the mattress. “Show me what you want to do, Ty.”

He looks at you, searching your face for any doubt before curling his fingers with no warning. The noise you let out is shrewd and entirely a whine. He’s addicted, figuring out that he wants you to keep making those sounds. He does it again, hitting a perfect spot inside of you that makes you feel warm and your stomach fuzzy.

You grasp onto his wrist, keeping his hand in the position it’s in. “Keep doing it, it feels so good.”

Your eyes shut, your teeth sink into your bottom lip, making your moans come out muffled.

“Is it this easy for you to get unwound? Just a couple minutes of my fingers inside of you and you already want to cum?” He asks, leaning down to your ear. “I could listen to you pant all day, I wonder what it’ll sound like when I’m fully inside of you?”

His filthy words put an image in your head and immediately, there’s a knot forming in your stomach.

A loud clap of thunder echos around you, rumbling the room and you yelp at the shock of it, your hand grasps the back of his neck and your head turns to watch the window.

“Shhh, don’t be scared, pretty girl. Focus on me instead, how good my fingers are fucking you.” He coos to you, lightly kissing your temple and your cheek.

The mewls and moans are getting closer and heavier as you feel your peak form. When he pulls his soaked fingers from you, you don’t even have time to process before he’s focusing back on your clit.

Slow and with tasteful pressure, he runs the pads of his fingers in a circle over you. His mouth waters at the sight, it has him considering if the second date is too early to pin your hips down as he eats you out. He wants to see the look on your face as you drip down his chin, wants to fight for air as your thighs suffocate him.

That’ll have to come later because your chest heaves up and down and you dig your head into the pillow. “Tyler, wait, I’m going to finish.” You warn.

“Good, I want you to. C’mon, cum for me, show me how good this is making you feel.”

Your mouth hangs open. “So good, you’re making me feel so, so good.”

Fingers digging into the sheets, you feel your body clench, then his name is falling from your lips as relief floods you. Tyler watches in awe, seeing the glow you have as you whimper, processing the pleasure you just went through.

“You did so good.” He praises, kissing your lips. “You warming up now?”

You nod. “Trust me, I’m warm.”

He chuckles, pulling your thighs forward to close any space between your dripping center and his boxers. Cautiously, he pulls the material down, a wet spot already on them from the precum that dripped from him. He sees the way your eyes widen, then he feels your warm grip on him as you stroke him up and down. The touch of your palm against his erected length makes his vision blurry for a moment.

“Make me yours, Ty.” You beg, eyes wide and still blown from the orgasm you just went through.

He groans, getting lost in the chills of pleasure. When he gains his composure, he’s pulling your grip from him and kissing you in a sweltering heat. You moan into his mouth.

“I’ll grab a condom.” He mutters, going to pull away.

You protest immediately. “No, I don’t want the condom. I’m on the pill, and I can trust you, right,” You say, desperate for his lips again.

“Of course you can, but are you sure?” He asks.

You nod, pulling him back towards you. “I want all of you, please.”

Your voice was so needy and it was just for him. Tyler nods, kissing your neck as he grips himself and guides to your entrance. At the first feeling of his tip brushing against your wetness, your thighs lock around his hips.

“Just breathe.” He coaches you, briefly looking at the storm outside before pushing his hips forward.

You lose your breath as he slowly enters your walls, he keeps going until he’s bottomed out and you feel the intrusion of him in an almost stinging way.

You groan, head falling back and you startle again at the thunder.

“Fuck, it feels so good.” Tyler states, slack jawed. He looks down at your expression. “You’re okay, take as long as you need, sweetheart.”

Your hands slide along his shoulders, you adjust and stretch around him perfectly. Swallowing thickly, you softly nod. “Okay, just start slow.”

He focuses on control, as he gently pulls out a few inches and lightly thrusts back in, your walls are welcoming him too well. It makes him feel intoxicated and it’s just getting started.

Your finger tips press into his skin, you slowly becoming more comfortable with the rhythm. Your little huffs tell Tyler you’re ready for more, so his hips adjust and he speeds up his movement.

“This is good, fuck, this is better than good.” You whine, hand slipping up into his hair.

“I’m trying not to cum too fast but you’re making it pretty hard, sweetheart.” He tells you before he hikes on of your legs up to wrap around his hips. You do the same with the other and at the slight change of position, you inhale sharply and grip his hair.

“Fuck, you’re so deep. Go harder, I want it.”

Your dirty words spin his mind dizzy, he does just what you say. Grunts leave him as he fucks into you, he kisses your sweet lips passionately. He wanted to give you it all, wanted to give you pleasure in any way you asked for it. The white lightening coming through the window paints your skin perfectly, as your chest heaves up off the mattress, he watches you like you’re in art form.

“You’re gorgeous.” He praises, sliding out of your dripping core.

Before you can protest or even miss him filling you up, he’s gripping your hip and instructing you to roll over. You hide your smirk, hungry for something new. You turn onto your stomach, then feel the way he pulls at your hips, pulling your ass up.

“You want it harder? Deeper? I’ll give it to you, darlin’. Whatever you want.” He says through bared teeth as he kneels behind you.

You gasp as he slips right back in, jerking into you.

The feeling of him deeply fucking you from behind is what has you heaving into the pillow. The change of angle is making your toes curl, he’s brushing against a spot inside of you that makes your skin feel hir, it starts a knot inside of you.

“You’re even gorgeous like this. Shit, I love the way you look, taking me so good.” He says, biting his bottom lip.

You turn, looking back at him as his big hands pull you back into him, trying to push you further to your downfall. The sounds the two of you make are crude and wet, you can barely even form sentences. Your breath quickens, your legs begin to wobble at the waves of pleasure crashing over you as he hits it perfectly and over and over. You haven’t been with many people, but by far, the way Tyler is making you feel is better than anything you’ve previously experienced. Your open mouthed moans are entirely whiny.

“I’m so close.” You hum out, gripping the pillow your face is pressed against to ground yourself.

Tyler curses behind you, suddenly burying himself deep inside you. “I’m right there too, sweetheart.” He huffs.

Your eyes screw shut, muscles contracting as the tip of your second orgasm comes. “Fuck, Tyler!” You cry, over stimulated by the way stutters in his movements and pushes deep inside of you.

His head falls back, you pulse around him as you finally reach your finish. Tyler grunts once more and moans as he finishes inside of you.

You let yourself collapse fully onto the bed, taking Tyler down with you. His weight is comforting on top of you as he catches his breath. After a moment, he slowly pushes off of you and slides out of you. You cry out quietly as pulls out.

“Shh, you’re alright.” He says, laying beside you.

He pushes your hair off your shoulder, then gently leans to kiss your warm skin. You turn onto your back, chest fluttering up and down. You gently reach to touch his face and smile wide.

“Kiss me.” You tell him.

“Yes ma’am.” He grins, closing the close proximity and gently kisses you, slow and sweet.

He tucks loose hair behind your ear and kisses your forehead when he pulls back. “I’ll be right back.”

You watch out the window, seeing the rain continue to fall. After a moment, Tyler returns with a warm, wet towel. You watch him with affection as he gently cleans the mess between your legs. He kisses your knee and then moves to pull his boxers back on.

Lying on his chest, your fingertips dance over his skin. “I’d say the rain made the date better.” You declare.

He lightly laughs. “Yeah, nothing ruined after all.”

[kyeomofhearts]

Again & Again | C.SC

+ summary: you caved in and fucked your best friend, but it was only a one-time thing… right?

+ pairing: scoups x fem!reader

+ word count: 4.3k

+ content: fwb!, chubby reader (love ya'll), friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, mutual pining, pussy drunk cheol, size kink, angst, fluff

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (Final)

+ WARNINGS: drinking!, smut, dom!seungcheol, sub!reader, rough sex, praise?, sizekink, creampie, pls lmk if I missed anything

“I’m ready!”

Seungcheol’s ears perked up at your sudden announcement. Turning his head, only to be met with a breathtaking view of you. The way your clothes hugged your figure had his head spinning. He always loved seeing your curves and the way you filled out everything nicely. Although you weren’t wearing anything out of the ordinary, it was just a simple outfit. Something that would match the mood for Jeonghan’s party.

But Seungcheol being… well himself, he was mesmerized. He was for sure going to struggle to keep his hands off you, especially at Jeonghan’s party. As much as he was willing to risk it all for you, he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable so he kept it to himself.

“Let’s go then.”

…

The car ride was comfortable, nothing different from the ordinary.

Well, maybe a little different.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Seungcheol looking at you at times. It was easy to guess what he was thinking about… but you were literally two minutes away from Jeonghan’s place!

And they would know.

You took a deep breath.

“Don't even think about it.”

“What?” Seungcheol tried playing it off, even though he knew he had been caught. Even his voice raised a few octaves.

“We can’t! Not now at least…” As much as you tried hiding your pout, you couldn’t.

Of course, you wanted to fuck Seungcheol but with how rough he got… you knew you would get your makeup all messed up and that was something you did not want to deal with at the moment.

“Well… can I get a kiss before we head inside?” He gave you puppy eyes after putting the car in park.

God was he annoying. It annoyed you that his tricks always worked on you. But before you could say anything he was already leaning over the console, fluttering his stupidly long eyelashes with his lips puckered. He knew he looked stupid but teasing you was his favorite thing to do.

Without a second thought, you leaned in to give him a light peck. That should be good enough to hold him off for the next few hours right? Nope. Just before you were finished pulling away, his hand swiftly pulled you back to his lips. You couldn’t stop yourself from following his lead, especially when his hand was keeping your head steady.

Before it could escalate to something more, you felt your phone vibrate. Finally, pulling away while ignoring Cheol’s pleas, you went to check who had texted you.

Ugh.

It was Jeonghan, asking why you weren’t there yet.

“We can continue this later Cheol. Jeonghan’s asking me where we are.” You spoke softly, you knew how sulky Seungcheol would get if he didn’t get what he wanted, but it had to be done.

But fortunately, that was enough to convince him to hold off on his desires. And so he finally stepped out of the car, but only after telling you to not move an inch.

After he opened the door for you, you both began to walk to Jeonghan’s place. It was a nice walk to his place. It would have been even more nice had Seungcheol not tried holding your hand. Was he trying to give you a heart attack? Seriously, everything he did made it feel like he was your boyfriend… which he was not. It really didn’t help your blossoming feelings for him either, it was like he was purposely adding fuel to the fire. But you knew there was nothing behind his gestures, he’s been like this even before you started hooking up.

“C’mon… my hands are cold without yours!” God was he annoying. He was a living embodiment of the pleading emoji, always finding a way to use his puppy eyes to his advantage. But you loved to indulge him every single time.

You rolled your eyes, “What about your other hand? If I only hold this one, then the other one will stay cold.”

“The other hand is connected to the other, so once you hold my hand they both get warmed up.” Seungcheol countered all smug as if that didn’t sound like the dumbest thing he’s ever said.

“I don’t think it works like that-”

“You guys took forever!” Jeonghan said while looking at both you and Seungcheol. You immediately ripped your hand away from Cheol’s.

Jeonghan’s eyes were carrying an entertained look to them, you hope he didn’t see the whole thing between you and Seungcheol. That would be really hard to explain.

But before you could think anything of it, the sound of your favorite voice (besides Cheol's) had gotten your attention.

“y/n~ there's a special surprise waiting for you in the kitchen!” Soonyoung had yelled out behind Jeonghan.

“And… that's my cue!” You immediately sped off towards the kitchen. Tonight was all about having fun and you were going to take advantage of it. Head empty, no thoughts. That is what you were striving for.

Now Seungcheol and Jeonghan were left alone.

“So… you and y/n? Finally?” Jeonghan prodded after your swift departure. He has been waiting for the day that you and Seungcheol finally got together.

“No… not yet at least,” Seungcheol said with a sigh. Even when he didn’t mean to get all sulky, it always happened. It was like second nature to him.

Jeonghan raised his eyebrow to this. While it was amusing to see both of his friends be blind to the other’s feelings, it was just as frustrating. For the past few years, he witnessed how stupid people could truly be. How was it possible that you and Seungcheol were not aware of each other’s feelings? Anybody could see it clear as day. But he couldn’t do anything about it, since at the end of the day, it was not his place to get involved. So with a loud, disappointed sigh, Jeonghan patted Seungcheol’s back. All he could really do was provide advice and comfort.

“Just tell her man, I am more than sure that she will return your feelings.”

Seungcheol groaned at the thought.

“I will but I still need to find the perfect-”

“Time, yes I know that. You’ve been saying that for years now.” Jeonghan was displeased. “But what if y/n begins to think that she’s wasting her time with you? What happens then?”

Seungcheol really wanted to fire back but he couldn’t find anything to say.

And just like that, Jeonghan went inside, leaving Seungcheol outside in the cold.

Jeonghan's 'party' was quite small in reality. It was really just the guys with some of their significant others, nothing crazy.

Well.

Except for Soonyoung and his drinking.

You weren't known to be a heavy drinker but when it came to special occasions, your friends knew you could get down.

Luckily for them, today had been quite stressful in terms of work. So after a few pleas from Soonyoung and Seokmin, you indulged in a few shots. After all, a little never hurt... right?

Wrong.

Needless to say, you got wasted within a matter of hours.

It wasn't your fault though! The games Soonyoung came up with were really entertaining, you just couldn't help yourself.

The burn of the alcohol didn't phase you as much after your fourth shot. The aftertaste was still disgusting of course, but nothing a chaser couldn't fix.

Soonyoung, being the lightweight that he is, was already nearing the edge of blacking out. And Seokmin... you didn't know where he went to. Maybe the bathroom? Well, he was for sure in the house, you'll find him sooner or later.

God, your eyes were beginning to feel heavy and it didn't help that everything was starting to look blurry as well.

You decided to stand up and walk off the sudden drowsiness, that usually helped you wake up a bit. Instead, you felt a sudden rush go straight to your head, which threw you off balance.

Maybe you should-

“…And I think we’re done with the drinks,” Seungcheol said as he magically appeared behind you, taking the empty cup in your hand and throwing it away.

His free hand snaked its way down to your waist. "Feeling good? Need some water love?"

If you were in the right state of mind, you would be definitely thinking about how intimate this would look to the others.

But all you could think about was how his hand was leaving a warm, tingly feeling on your waist. The way his touch was firm yet gentle at the same time.

You were so focused on his touch that you forgot to answer the question he had originally asked you.

He leaned his head further into your neck, "I'll take that as a yes... did you want to head out?"

It was nearing ten o'clock, which should be considered a reasonable time to leave.

"Hmmm... I guess so."

The idea of climbing into bed and just dozing off was so tempting. Unfortunately, you had to wait which was the worst part of it all.

Before you could continue thinking about how comfortable your bed was, you felt something cold press against your cheek.

You shrieked at the feeling.

“Why would you do that?” You yelled out in surprise.

Turning around to look at Seungcheol, you couldn’t help but freeze. His gaze sent you shivers, or maybe it was because of the water bottle still pressed to your cheek. Either way, you were rendered speechless.

“You need to drink your water that’s why.” His tone was innocent but the smile that accompanied it was quiet… mischievous.

“…and maybe because you ignored me today. ”

There it was. He always found a reason to pout and sulk to you.

So you did as you were told and drank from the bottle. It did help wake you up a little bit but you were still far from sober.

"Let's say goodbye to everyone now." He took your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. This action alone making your body burn up.

You don't remember too much after that, only slurring out your goodbyes to your friends.

It had only been a few minutes since the two of you had arrived at his apartment. He decided it would be better in your case since his place was closer to Jeonghan's compared to yours.

“Since when did you have these products?” You stared in drunken awe, most of your skincare products were in his bathroom.

Shit. He hopes you don't think he's a complete freak. He bought your skincare products for the nights that you would spend at his place. He just wanted to make you feel at home with him. (And maybe this was his way of convincing you to stay the night with him since you had everything you needed…)

“Um… just figured it would be more convenient for you…” he prayed that you would think it was a kind gesture rather than him being a weirdo.

You took a second to respond, admiring how thoughtful he was when it came to making you feel comfortable.

“It's cute, I'm honestly more surprised you were able to get some of these products, some of them are exclusively online...” your eyes flitted to look at his. "Although, I don't think I'm capable of doing my whole routine right now." It was true, you were barely able to stand, imagine trying to do your skincare like this…

“I can do it for you,” he chipped in immediately after.

This filled you with that warm feeling you were now getting accustomed to. What was he doing to your heart?

He tapped the toilet lid, waiting for you to sit so he could begin his work. You knew it was pointless trying to stop him, once he had his mind set on something he wouldn’t let anything get in his way from completing it.

“Not yet. I still have to brush my teeth first.” And maybe this was your time to calm down before he eventually caressed your face for ten minutes straight.

Seungcheol took advantage of the little time you gave him and got changed into something comfortable. He also pulled out some more loose-fitting clothes since he knew you liked wearing baggier clothes to lounge around in. He wondered if it would be too ridiculous if he put them in the dryer to warm them up for you. It shouldn’t be, right?

"Are you sure you want to do this?" You asked apprehensively.

"Of course." He said without a second thought.

"Anything for you, remember?" His eyes were filled with something, some would say love but you didn't want to get too ahead of yourself.

He started to warm up the oil cleanser in between his hands. Then he gently applied the oil to your face, rubbing it in slow circles as to not irritate your face.

It was at times like this that made you worry if your arrangement was a bad idea. Sometimes you wish you would have just confessed to him instead of jumping straight into bed with him. Maybe things would have turned out differently had you done so.

Unwanted tears began pooling in your eyes. Why were these thoughts eating you up all of a sudden?

Seungcheol was quick to notice the tears.

"Did I get it in your eyes? I'm so sorry-"

“Cheol… I don’t think I can continue with- whatever this is,” you hiccuped, “i-it's just too much for me.”

His heart dropped.

What do you mean stop? He thought everything was going great, he was even planning on officially asking you out tomorrow.

“Why? I mean if that's how you really feel then we can stop, but at least tell me why, love.” Though his tone was understanding you could still see the concern in his eyes.

“I don't know... I just feel so conflicted. Like the way you treat me makes me want more with you but I know that's probably not what you want.” It felt as if a huge weight had been taken off of your shoulders. He’s right, you can't just end the arrangement without telling him why.

Continuing, “I just can't help it, I really like you but I know this is just casual for you and I would hate to put you in an uncomfortable position.” You ignored meeting his eyes, knowing you would cry even more if you saw the way he was looking at you right now.

On the other hand, Seungcheol was stunned, to say the least. But he was also relieved to hear the reason you wanted to end things was because you liked him but now he had to stop you from crying. He needed to let you know that he liked you just as much if not even more.

He was usually good with words but he didn’t really know what to say… so he hugged you instead. Hug was actually an understatement. His whole body tightly engulfed yours. He didn’t want to let you go at all.

“Cheol…?”

You tried wiggling out of his grasp but there was no point in trying, he had a very tight hold on you.

“You actually had me worried there for a second, I thought I actually did something wrong.”

Oh.

He cupped your face, which, by the way, was still oily because of the makeup remover.

"I was planning on asking you out tomorrow," he let out a soft laugh, "but I guess you beat me to it." He pressed a light peck to your lips.

“Wait, so does that mean…” okay that sounds dumb. But in true fashion, you had to ask him if he really meant it (even if he just confessed to you).

He laughs at your confusion but nods nonetheless.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way though," he says wholeheartedly, "I actually wanted to avoid making you feel like I was only using you."

Before you could think of anything to say his hands returned their motions on your face.

"We should finish cleaning you up before we continue talking about us."

It was quiet but not uncomfortable. Soft giggles from either you or Cheol came and went.

He had finished around ten minutes later.

Your eyes were beginning to get heavy again, the sleepiness slowly creeping over you again.

And again, he noticed this. He was always able to read you.

"We can talk about it tomorrow," his tone was soft. He tried his best to not disturb your sleepy state.

His hand went to the small of your back, lightly guiding you to his bedroom.

Once you climbed onto the bed you fell asleep not even a minute later. Seungcheol quickly followed as soon as he cuddled up against you.

It was calm.

It had been almost an hour since you had woken up. Your head wasn't hurting as bad as you thought it would be. Maybe it was because someone kept making you drink water throughout the night.

Speaking of him, Seungcheol was currently busy with making breakfast, which left you the freedom to lounge around the living room.

Until a certain thought came up.

Well, more like thoughts.

You were recounting last night's events and what still weighed on your mind.

You knew you had confessed to Cheol and that he returned your feelings… but something felt off. It still felt like you needed to tell him something but you couldn’t place your finger on exactly what it was.

“Here,” Cheol had placed the food right next to you. God, it wasn’t even anything special but his food looked so damn good.

Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to eat it.

“Is something wrong?” Seungcheol asked apprehensively, his gaze filled with worry.

You didn’t know where to begin.

Maybe you should tell him about the guy you had hooked up with a while ago, the one that didn’t know where your clit was… that’s a good start right?

Obviously you know you didn’t really do anything wrong but it still weighs heavy on your mind from time to time.

"I need to tell you something, but promise me you won't get mad at me," you pleaded.

He looked at you incredulously, "It can't be that bad."

Taking a deep breath you begin, "I slept with someone else. But, this was before we came up with the arrangement, I think maybe a few days after we..." your voice immediately got stuck in your throat once you caught a glimpse of Cheol.

He was oddly calm. Too calm for your liking.

"Did you like it?" His voice didn't hold any trace of anger but you knew he was bothered by it.

You knew that you had to be cautious with your wording.

"No! I think I was just confused at the time so I experimented ," Your voice was meek. "It didn't mean anything, I promise."

He looked at you briefly. "That's too bad."

Huh?

To your dismay, he stood up and walked away into his bedroom.

You felt frozen in a way, confused about how to handle the situation. But rather than letting it grow into something worse you decided to follow him to his room. Talking it out will for sure help.

As you walked towards his door, you noticed that it had been left wide open.

Was this a setup?

Carefully, you stepped inside his room while searching for him. You were met with the sound of the door slamming shut, and a sudden presence behind your back.

"Cheol-" He turned you towards him, his hold was quite firm; though not to be confused with harsh.

"I'm not mad I promise," he leaned closer to kiss you. While his tone was gentle his kiss was not.

He pulled away for just a second.

"Why be mad when I have you all to myself now?"

Before he could go any further he pulled away again.

"Is this okay?"

Immediately, you nodded to let him continue his ministrations.

He cupped your cheeks once again to kiss you.

After a minute or so, he moved down to your neck. At first, he pressed light pecks but eventually started lingering on certain spots.

"Need to let everyone know that you're mine."

With that, he continued marking your neck, making sure that everyone would be able to see that you were now taken.

And while you loved the feeling of him marking you up, you couldn't help but want more.

"Cheol, please," your breaths were labored.

He hummed into the crook of your neck.

"Can you please just fuck me already?" You were growing needier by the second. Your panties were sticking uncomfortably against your heat.

He scoffed at your sudden urgency.

"I still need to prep you though," he tried reasoning with you, but to no avail, it fell upon deaf ears.

"We can do that any other day Cheol," the thought of having to wait a second longer pained you.

But, if that's how you wanted it... how could he deny you that?

He roughly exhaled before focusing on you again.

"Clothes," he instructed with a tug to your (his) shirt.

He did the same in return. Once you were both done stripping, he pushed you towards his bed so he could begin his work on you.

“Are you sure that you don’t want to get prepped first?” He was lightly tracing his fingers over your inner thighs.

Had it been with anyone else you would for sure need prep but Cheol was always careful with you, you trusted him.

“Yes, god, please just fuck me.” Desperate couldn’t begin to describe how you were feeling at the moment.

With that final confirmation, he began to work. While he knew you didn't want to be prepped he still wanted to work you up a bit. Gently, he grabbed a hold of your thighs and started spreading them apart.

He trailed soft kisses at an excruciatingly slow rate. But eventually, he landed on your core. He peppered it with another round of kisses, the pressure varying between each kiss.

After a minute or so he pulled away and slotted himself right in between your legs.

Holding his cock in his hand, he stroked it twice and then ran the tip up and down your slit. No matter how many times you fuck Seungcheol, you will never get used to the initial sting of his cock. It also doesn’t help that he’s so big.

He slowly nudged the tip towards your entrance. Gradually, he carefully pushed himself deeper inside you, cautious knowing that he hadn’t prepped you. After the first few seconds the feeling went away, leaving you with want. You moved your hips to let him know you wanted more.

"Fuck," you manage.

"Can't take me?" He almost pulls out fully before snapping his cock into you again.

You hated when he got this cocky, but you couldn't deny that it didn't turn you on even more.

“Shut up,” you tried hiding the pleasure in your voice while he slowly went in and out of you.

He only hummed in response. Soon he became enveloped in you, his thrusts were slowly picking up pace while he held onto you tightly. Your senses were completely invaded by Seungcheol, only being able to think about him.

“I will never get used to how tight you are,” his voice was strained, trying his best to not cum inside you. (because that would be embarrassing, not for you but for him)

All you could do was moan in response.

After a few months of consistent hookups, Seungcheol had learned about your body pretty quickly, from your kinks, to your turn offs… he practically knew your body inside and out.

Which explained how he knew you were on the brink of coming, your walls tightening around him being a common telltale sign.

Usually, he would edge you for a good hour or so, but after last night’s ordeal he just wanted to show you how much you affected him. So with that, Seungcheol lazily brought his free down to your clit and began to rub slow yet firm circles. He knew that playing with your bud would immediately send you over the edge. It also didn’t help that his pace was becoming more erratic, by the looks of it, you would be coming together.

And just like that, after a few more thrusts he felt you begin to spasm underneath him, letting a loud string of moans out during the act. Seungcheol dipped his head towards your lips as he came inside you, making you swallow his groans in the process.

Shortly after, Seungcheol’s body fell completely limp on yours, feeling only pure exhaustion. It felt nice, only being able to feel his heavy body on top of yours… kind of therapeutic in a sense. But unfortunately that didn’t last very long, because after a minute or so, everything began to feel wet and sticky.

As if reading your mind, Seungcheol mumbled out a low, “let’s get cleaned up.”

While you were obviously up for it, the thought of having to stand up at this very moment felt horrible. As he slowly pulled out of you, you couldn’t help but just stay on the bed. This did not go well with Seungcheol.

“Y/n c’mon, we have to get you cleaned up,” he whined while tugging on your arm.

“Just five more minutes, I still can’t feel my legs!” Were you being over dramatic? Yes, but it’s not like he’s not used to it.

“Y/n we have to get ready to go out.” This time he pulled you all the way up, keeping you steady while you regained your balance. You did recall him mentioning going out today but you don’t remember exactly where.

“Really? Where are we going?” The excitement of going out completely masked the feeling of your jelly-like legs.

“Nowhere in specific.” Your smile dropped. What does he mean nowhere? You hated when he turned things into surprises. (Hate is a strong word but you get the idea.)

He shrugged his shoulders, “Just wanted to show my new girlfriend off to the world I guess…”

Ugh. He is so annoying.

“Never say that again, ever.”

Yet, you couldn’t hide the smile slowly creeping up towards your face. Hearing him call you his girlfriend was definitely something you could get used to.

I am so so so sorry for leaving you guys hanging! It was not my intention I swear,, I just kept taking and adding to the fic which is why it got delayed so bad… at least the finale is here right? The last part was not proofread so I’m hoping that it’s legible, hope you enjoy :3

[c0ffeejelly1]

I know where the hole is!..I think.

-Bros the type to let you take control during his first time

Cw: smut smut smut um smut (virgins, like both of y’all soo) fem dom, thats all. (ALL CHARACTERS ARE TIMESKIPPED VERSIONS 🙏🙏 so basically of age.)

* “A-are you sure about this, babe?..”

* He felt like his heart was sinking to the deepest depths of his stomach with each passing moment.

* Is this a heart attack? Is this how it feels? Is he having one right now??!

* He was panicking. How the hell did he get himself into this position??

* “I mean, I don’t want to force you to do anything you might not like..”

* Who was he kidding? He knew damn well you wanted this! But he’d just never...

* “..we could always just..reschedule?”

* Reschedule? Seriously?

* Who the hell says, 'reschedule’ in this type of situation???

* What had he gotten himself into...

* He could practically feel his brain going into overdrive, the stupid word ‘error’ repeating in his mind.

* Why was his heart trying to wrestle its way out of his body?? Did it want him to die?!

* Is this organ failure? He doesn’t want to die!!..

* And the drips—no gallons of cold sweat running down his face like a marathon...

* Is this normal?!? Sweating this much??

* Could you see this? Was his face clammy looking??

* God, he hoped you were blind to his nervousness...

* This was such a stupid idea.

* And all because of his big ass, egotistical, lying, good-for-nothing mouth.

* If only he’d just said the truth to you...

* The truth that he’d never done something like..this.

* Something so intimate..something so deep..something like having-

* “Are you nervous?..”

* His eyes immediately open wide.

* Why were his eyes even closed to begin with?!

* This was so embarrassing..he could feel the blush on his cheeks rise even more as he avoided eye contact with her.

* “M-me?! Noo…not I’m nervous! I-I mean-..nervous I’m not! Ha..so let’s just um..”

* He gulped loudly.

* Are gulps supposed to hurt your throat?

* He’d have to look that up later...

* ..but back to the problem at hand!

* You were getting suspicious, which wasn’t good!

* And his arms remained laying either side of your head—not because he was experienced and knew what he was doing. No.

* only because he needed something to stop himself from collapsing down onto you like a nervous wreck.

* He was shitting himself.

* How was he supposed to do something like this to someone as gorgeous as you?

* And to think you were willing on your back presenting yourself to him in just your underwear...

* The way your bra would cup the two fruitful breasts he had no shame burying his face in, hiding the sinful buds he’d never seen in his life—actually, there was the one time he caught you in the shower, so maybe this wasn’t going to be his first time seeing you so- fuck. He’s getting distracted...

* But then there were your undies that shielded away your most vulnerable parts..and to think, you were giving that to him?.. Him????

* He doesn’t even know what he’s doing, y’know?

* You should know by now that he’s all talk, no action! He can’t touch you!

* The thing is..he’s never actually had sex! Okay?! He admits it!

* It was a lie!

* But you were just talking about how you want your first time to be amazing. He just-…

* He just didn’t want to seem lame to you! I mean, look at you!

* You were so beautiful..and he was just..there?

* And to think you wanted him to- to-..put his D in your P?? He’d probably finish on the spot!

* Just imagine how embarrassing that’d be...

* “Baby..”

* His head perks up at the pet name, his eyes meeting yours.

* “You’ve..never done this before, have you.”

* Fuck.

* Well

* It was good while it lasted, boys.

* He tried his best.

* Now he can finally crawl into a hole and die.

* He can’t lie to you when you look like this! You're practically naked, for Christ's sake! And he was in his boxers and- shit.

* Had a raging hard boner...

* He didn’t know a thing when it came to making women feel good...

* He’d watched sex videos before. Yes, he wasn’t a prude, but still.

* Did he know where exactly the hole was?

* …

* No.

* So how was he supposed to-

* “Lay on your back.”

* “..What.”

* “I said lay on your back.”

* “But then how am I gonna..“

* “I’ll do it.”

* “..y-you’ll wha-“

* How did he get himself into this mess?

* How did the only piece of clothing covering his most precious area end up on the floor?

* How did he find himself covering his mouth with the back of his hand, trying to stop the sinful sounds from escaping his lips..

* How did your mouth feel so good?

* “Ah..f-fuck baby..slow down a little..”

* His chest only moved up and down frantically, his breathing becoming heavier as his hand found a place in your hair. He was falling apart and was so close already...

* The way your tongue would flick at his tip, teasing it as you looked at him for a reaction.

* The way you would suddenly take him whole, causing his back to arch slightly and his head to fall back into the pillow behind him, a stuttery whine leaving his mouth.

* And then there were your hands..the way they would wrap around his cock so nicely, quick strokes being made, and the occasional massage of his balls.

* Fuck it was 'so good..’ as he would say it.

* you sure you were a virgin?

* This doesn’t seem like virgin behaviour to him...

* He was so deep in thought, so dazed that the only thing he could think of was coming undone.

* He felt good..way too good, so good that-

* “Baby!- w-wait..mhf!..ah-..I’m gonna cum..”

* “Y-Your mouth-..fuck..so good..sogoodd..”

* Then you stopped.

* ..why did you stop?

* Did he do something wrong? Why did you just...

* He felt his thoughts come to a halt as he watched you pull off your undies, his eyes wandering down to your..oh wow. You really were going to do this.

* You gently place a hand on his chest, using your other to grip his cock, causing him to suck in a breath at the sudden contact.

* He was sensitive and on the verge of finishing just from a slight touch..it was adorable.

* Your hips ride up above his pelvis just right enough for the lips of your pussy to wet his cock with your juices.

* Were you trying to kill him here?

* All he could do was watch and whine softly as he hoisted himself up with his elbows.

* He wanted to be inside you.

* Wanted you to take him

* Be his first, just as he was about to be yours.

* He needed it badly, and so you gave it to him.

* Sweaty, hot, messily.

* You were so beautiful...

* The way you held your tits from bouncing up and down while riding him, a hand still placed on his chest as your head slightly tilted back from the pleasure you were receiving.

* He was making you feel this good..him.

* He felt so embarrassed with the sounds that were falling from his lips—the whimpers, whines, and moans of your name—all just for you.

*Fuck he loved you.

* He was so in love...

* He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He could feel the coil in his stomach begin to tighten as his cock twitched inside of you.

*He was gonna cum

* And you knew that.

* You both did

* “Y-you’re so..t-tight..fuck.”

* “How do you f-feel this good?”

* “So beautiful..h-how did I ever deserve you?..”

* “Fuck d-dont clench around me like that baby..”

* “I wanna cum for you baby..please..”

* “I’m so glad you were my first time..”

* “D-don’t..say things like that..it’s so dirty..”

* “I-i can’t baby..i-I’m gonna-“

* A wonderful first time for both of you, if you ask me.

Characters I had in mind while writing this

REIGEN (mob psycho 100)

All might, present mic, DENKI, sero (my hero academia)

Hinata, NISHINOYA, KAGEYAMA, yamiguchi, bokuto (haikyuu)

ITTO (genshin impact)

POLNAREFF, mista (JOJO’S bizarre adventures)

Kagami, MIDORIMA (kuroko’s basketball)

Sanemi, HAGANEZUKA (demon slayer)

METAL BAT, king (one punch man)

GOJO (jujustu kaisen)

JEAN, Connie (attack on titan)

LEORIO, kite (hunterxhunter)

ONIZUKA (Great teacher onizuka)

Any character you would like

[mommageto]

Warmer (Himejima Gyomei x Hashira! Reader)

Title: Warmer

Pairings: Himejima x Hashira! Reader

Word Count:  1148 words

Description: Himejima and (Y/n) were sent on a mission together. But as the temperature decreases, you find comfort in the arms of a gentle giant. 

It’s wintertime, which is not a recommended time to travel. Ubuyashiki sent you and Himejima on a mission to a far away city where the number of people who have died recently from a demon attack has increased. It has been a long week since you and Himejima defeated a group of demons who have been disturbing the city. All (y/n) could ever think of is to rest after that stressful week as you recently felt frail. Being a hashira is not an easy task. Although you were strong you used a lot of energy and effort in ensuring that no individual in the village would get harmed which caused you so many injuries and ended up being poisoned by a demon. Himejima luckily came in handy in the whole scene. The 7 foot 2 giant was not named the strongest hashira for nothing. 

You were not close with him compared to the other hashiras, Himejima always felt distant towards you. Every time you come near him, he always finds a way to leave from that space. He always avoids making conversation and prays every time you are near. This was an unfamiliar feeling to you considering you had established a good relationship with most of the Hashira even with Shinazugawa. You have always found Gyomei to be captivating, with his size, strength, and dedication. These qualities really make him stand out the most. You have always admired him, but felt indifferent because of him being distant towards you. Nevertheless, you handled your unity well in the fight in a professional manner. 

Both of you are on your way back to the Demon Slayer Corps to report back from your mission. It was mostly quiet between you and you kept it that way since you knew Himejima isn’t the type to normally have a conversation with you. You still had quite some time to travel in silence. Your eyes felt weak, but you kept going because you cannot bear to be in an awkward travel situation with the giant man who you were least engaged with. As you cannot bear it anymore, you fell on the ground and passed out. 

Your eyes slightly opened feeling better and found warmth in a rock-hard structure you cling on. Looking at your surroundings, snow has finally appeared yet you find your environment to be inside of a cave which was lit up by the fire you can hear. You can barely get into your senses as you feel comfortable. It was a nice feeling and it caused you to be inquisitive of your surroundings and try to knock some sense into yourself. 

“(Y/n)”

A deep voice called your name and you took a closer look at the solid rock-hard structure you were clinging on and saw Himejima. You were startled as you realized the position you were in. He held you with his strong arms as he covered you with his robe to add to your warmth. You tried to move in a jerky motion, making sure to get out of Himejima. Your cheeks are flushed and you feel embarrassed at your situation right now. You did not expect this to happen. All you ever thought was to go home as soon as you can. You stay quiet as you try to resist him, but as the stone hashira, he proves himself to be super strong. 

“H-himejima-san, I…”

“I’m sorry (y/n) if you feel that this is somehow unorthodox. You passed out yesterday and your body felt cold. I worry that you won't be able to make it so I thought I should warm you up for now.” This feels strange and unexpected. As you took a glance at Himejima, you noticed how attractive he is. You can’t help your cheeks from flushing. Being so close to him, his chest feels firm and warm. You can also hear the beat of his heart. Your perception of Himejima has always been calm and stoic. Somehow you wonder how he could be like that considering his background story when Tanjiro defended Himejima when you told him how he avoids you. Despite how much he avoids you, you feel closer to him than ever. 

“(Y/n), I can feel your heartbeat so fast. You’re also warming up. Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks. You shook your head and you can see a slight panic on his face. Then again, you thought about his question. You nodded, “No! I mean, I feel better!”

You tried to escape from him due to embarrassment and to shun from his comment about your heartbeat. This time you were successful, yet didn’t seem too far away from him. There was a moment of silence between the two of you as it was the last couple days. This was probably the longest conversation you’ve had with him. You were puzzled on what to do as you feel how awkward your current situation is. 

“(Y/n), I’m really sorry if it felt uncomfortable for you. It’s too cold and I ought to find shelter and keep you warm,” you hear his plea. Tears started falling from both his eyes. This didn’t make you feel uncomfortable, but rather baffled. Though you appreciate him for trying to help you aid yourself, you can’t help but wonder why he’s acting this way all of a sudden when he clearly tried to keep his distance with you every time. You squint your eyes and carefully said, “Why do you always avoid me, Himejima-san?”

As your head turned to him you saw the man with tears stunned by what you said. Though, you said what you said and have long wanted to ask him that question. The man was at a loss of words. Himejima is blind, but he moved his head away from you. You could see from his expression how saddened this man is. Tears streamed down Himejima's face, his voice thick with emotion. "I was afraid," he confessed. He completely caught your attention now and you were ready to hear more from him. "After losing those I cared for, I vowed never to let anyone close enough to get hurt again. The thought of feeling that pain because of you...it terrified me."

“The truth is, I have always pined for you.” You were startled at his words and you did not possibly know how to feel about that. He completely caught your attention now and you were ready to hear more from him. You waited for him to continue, “Ever since you first entered the Demon Slayer Corps, I have always felt how kind and warm-hearted you are. The way you treat others and hearing about it from everyone. I am blind, but I can see through your heart. Due to my monastic background, I never thought I would be able to catch myself wondering about someone, about you but I did.”

Hearing Himejima confess his feelings for you made you feel glad because you knew felt this way with him, but only stopped yourself from the way he treated you. A lump formed in your throat. You reached out, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "Himejima-san," you said softly, "I understand your fear and I know that you carry such pain, yet you continue to protect others with such kindness. That strength is what makes me admire you."

A flicker of hope ignited in his voice. "Do you truly believe that?"

You nodded, your heart pounding. "Yes, I do..." you hesitated, then continued, "I just hope you won't keep your distance from me anymore."

Himejima remained silent for a moment and slightly nodded with a soft smile on his face, your hand reaching out to tentatively touch him. The warmth of his calloused fingers sent shivers down your spine. All that cold distance from him, was thawed by the warm feeling of that mutual apprehensive conversation you had with him. Despite the cold breeze of air from the fall of snow, being with Himejima and the light of hope you both share, only made you feel warmer.

[astraystayyh]

chan x reader. hurt and lots of comfort. description of an anxiety attack and its aftermath (based on my own experiences).

please consider donating for gaza through my kofi. we have exceeded 1k dollars and our goal is 1500! a little goes a long way, you can donate as much as you can! thank you

If you remain still long enough, breathe as quietly as you can muster, would the world forget you exist and pass your anxiety along to somebody else?

A selfish question, perhaps, but one that you can’t help but ask as you sit on your freezing bathroom floor, knees tightly hugged to your chest.

You don’t know how long it’s been since you’ve sat in this position. Time suddenly seemed elusive to you, as if a concept too hard for your frantic heart to grasp. All you knew was the ache of your limbs and the feeling that doom was just around the corner.

It was one of those days where you woke up feeling anxious. As if your brain had made up its mind about you in your sleep, deciding to hold you hostage to your anxiety. The bed was cold, your boyfriend Chan long gone to his studio, his lingering cologne the only indication he was ever there. So, you tried to distract yourself throughout the day— going on a walk, listening to music, cleaning your house, but it didn't help. Nothing seemed to help you.

So here you were, hours later, sat on your bathroom floor, trying to calm yourself down, all alone. But you could tell that it wasn't working, that you were on a losing race against your own body. Soon, you wouldn't be able to control your anxiety, soon it would turn into a full blown attack.

You wanted to call Chan, you truly did, but he was busy, and you refused to be a burden. Especially since he told you through texts that he'd be home late, so that definitely meant that he was making a new track in his studio.

So, you settled on rocking yourself back and forth, your hands slowly moving up to your shoulders, patting yourself down. This is what you used to do before knowing Chan. When you didn't have anyone around you who understood. You’d trick your bruised mind into believing you were hugged, the warmth of your own touch easing your anxiety a little.

But tonight it had the opposite effect. Tonight, you broke down in sobs, your breathing more irregular than ever. You curled into a ball on the floor, your hand moving to your chest in a futile attempt to slow down your heart. You could no longer breathe, the air in your lungs morphing into unkind fingers, choking you from within. White dots started dancing in front of your eyes, as your entire being shook like a lone leaf, left to fend for itself before the unyielding winds.

It suddenly got too much— the sobs, the pain, the ache. You couldn't bare it anymore. So with trembling hands, you unlocked your phone, calling the only person who would be able to calm you down. Chan. You put the phone on speaker, before tossing it on the ground next to you. You couldn't even muster the energy to hold it to your ear.

“Hi my love, I'm a bit busy right now can I call you later?” Chan's rushed words ring through the bathroom, your anxiety intensifying before the possible antidote. “Honey?” he asks again when he doesn’t hear your reply.

“Chan—“ you sob, the only word your weighted tongue allows you to speak of.

“I’m here, I'm here baby. I'm coming right now,” his panicked voice rings through your ears, following the frantic rush of your boiling blood. The sound of shuffling indicates that he’s getting up and leaving the studio, the confused ‘what’s going on?’ Han shouts confirms it.

The only reply you give him is your sobs, and his heart constricts, twists and turns at the sound of your cries. “Hey, hey, sweetheart. It’s okay, you’re okay. Breathe for me, okay? Take a deep breath with me, please—” his voice breaks, “please baby.”

You try, with all your will, to force a steady breath to rise from your stomach to the tip of your tongue. It escapes faintly, but Chan catches it. “You’re doing well, baby. Fuck—” he turns on his car’s engine. “Um… Minho bit my ass today.”

His words catch you off guard, the gears in your mind stopping for a split second. You remember a faint conversation under your covers, months ago, when you told him that distractions help you when you’re anxious. Force you to redirect your thinking somewhere else.

He remembered.

“Was it tasty?” you breathe out, and he chuckles, a sweet sound intermingled with a sigh of relief. “I don’t know, I need to ask him baby.”

You nod though he can’t see you, willing yourself to breathe again. In, out, in, out, Chan’s own breathing guiding you. “Should I bite him in return?” he asks. Tears pool in your eyes once again. “I’m close, so close,” he reassures.

“Okay.”

“To the biting?”

“Mm,” you manage to hum, as you hear the door of your apartment open, Chan's hurried steps echoing in your home. You knew he was looking for you but you couldn't call out to him. After painfully long seconds, stretching out as if to torture you even more, he finally opens the bathroom floor.

He finally finds you.

“It's okay, I'm here. I'm here,” he wastes no time before scooping you into his arms and hugging you. He knows that the pressure eases your anxiety so he tightens his hold without you having to say so, pulling you as close as two pages of the same book.

With you on his lap, he starts rocking back and forth, his words coming out a jumble mess. He can’t settle on what to say to you, switching between stupid jokes his friends told him, and words of reassurance he repeats like a promise.

His words break, his tongue faltering each time your sob gets louder, but he speaks. He speaks and speaks for twenty minutes, all to distract you, all to keep you grounded, and safe.

After a long while, the storm finally passes, leaving behind an excruciating exhaustion. You turn into a puddle in his hold, softening like malleable clay. He holds you as gently as a porcelain vase.

His warm palms settle atop your cheeks, his eyes gazing into yours for the first time since he got here. A sheen glaze taints them, one you know is mirrored in your own. His thumbs gently swipe away your remaining tears, grazing your face with a tenderness that makes your being ache. Your lips press a faint kiss onto his palm, his find their way to your forehead, and you feel it all, through his kiss. His fear, his relief, his love, soft and gentle, for you.

“Thank you,” you whisper, voice slightly hoarse as you kiss his forehead back.

“I’ve got you my love. Always,” he smiles at you softly, his dimples appearing like the sun after a cold day.

“Did Minho really bite you?” you giggle faintly, and he scratches his ear sheepishly. “No, but I don’t put it past him to do it.”

“Is that something you’re into?” You cock a teasing eyebrow at him, and he shakes his head, his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek. “Only if it’s you,” he says as he wraps his arm around your waist, picking you up swiftly.

“I’ll consider,” you yawn, wrapping your arms around his neck, your face finding a refuge in the crook of his neck.

“Why thank you,” he smiles as he leads you to your bedroom, settling you gently atop the bed. He quickly climbs in with you, bringing you so close to him, his warmth ends up spreading through your entire being, filling up every nook and cranny of your soul.

“I think as long as you’re near, I’ll always be okay,” you say, as your eyes close slowly, you miss the tender smile that blooms in his face at your words.

“Good thing I exist to be near you, then.”

please consider donating for gaza through my kofi. we have exceeded 1k dollars and our goal is 1500! a little goes a long way, you can donate as much as you can! thank you

[mediumgayitalian]

Nico wakes up to gagging and a soft glow coming from the bathroom.

His first thought is, bizarrely, that Hazel’s home. But her bunk is still empty, and her shoes aren’t by the door, and she didn’t wake him when she came in. She always wakes him when she comes in, even if it’s four thirty in the damn morning, because nothing makes her cackle quite like Nico choking back curses and tweaking under her smothering pillow.

“Shit,” comes a small voice from the bathroom, followed by more retching. “Shitshitshit, no —”

Nico bolts for the door.

“Hi,” Will says, or tries to. His scarred knuckles clench with every gag, wrapped too tightly around the rim of porcelain to tremble like the rest of him.

Something about the wobbly smile he keeps trying to form in between gags. Something about the sweat that has drenched his t-shirt, something about the deep circles under his eyes, something about his spot in the bed completely cold, wrinkled.

Something is not adding up.

“You’re not sick,” Nico murmurs, pressing the back of his hand to Will’s forehead. Will mutters something about bliss, leaning into Nico’s hand; he smiles again, but it is strained, and at odds with the glassy look in his eyes. The sharp, rapid breaths.

“Just don’t — feel good.”

Every word is punctuated by a big, heaving gasp, like he’s trying to breathe through heavy cotton. On a hunch, Nico slides his hands down Will’s face, brushing the goosebumps on his neck, the irritated, pulsing tendons, and rest flat against his chest, over his heart.

His heart that is pounding, so quickly it is actually challenging to recognise as a beat rather than a buzz.

“You’re having a panic attack,” Nico says quietly.

Will shrugs. He gags again, but clamps his mouth shut before it goes anywhere, breathing deeply and carefully through clenched teeth, squeezing his eyes shut. His heart pounds faster, and the rapid movement of his chest grows shallow, but he manages to choke back his bile, swallow down whatever nausea is plaguing him.

“I’m — fine.” His laboured breathing is the loudest sound in the cabin. In the camp. “I’m handling it.”

Nico watches him. Watches him clench his jaw and squeeze his eyes shut and make a noise like he is being betrayed, like he is being sold for thirty silver by his own body, his own mind; watches him flex his muscles rigid and hold himself still like he can stop the nails and thorns from coming. He thinks of wide smiles and far away eyes and mental health pamphlets and cheerful slogans on infirmary walls.

“I think one of those things are true.”

“I don’t need —”

Whatever he doesn’t need is forgotten, because he is heaving again, only this time his body finds something to dredge up, even if that something is stomach acid and he cries as it burns its way up his throat, and in between heaving he wheezes, horrible whistling gasping noises, and his hair plasters to his forehead, and his body slumps into Nico’s hold and jerks away from him like rocky waves against a lakefront.

“How long have you been here?”

Will just shrugs again, and he cries, and he says “Leave, please,” and Nico wraps an arm tighter around his waist, and presses a kiss to his sweaty temple, lingering, holding, tasting salt from Will and from his tears both, and squeezing his eyes shut, and holding back the anger. Gritting his teeth and softening his hold, deliberately, resting his fingers delicately on the dip of Will’s hip, the raised pink of the stretch marks along his ribs.

“I hate it when you run from me,” he murmurs, and Will sobs again.

“I can’t breathe,” he says, and Nico squeezes and promises he can. “I’m dying. I’m dying, I’m gonna —”

“I’m here, Will.” He doesn’t say you’re not dying. He doesn’t say you’re fine, because this is the longest they’ve sat together in five days, because it is the the quiet middle of June, because yesterday Kayla spent half her shift screaming at Will to get out and ignoring him when he shouted back. Because the bandage around Will’s wrist has been worn to threads, because Lee’s hoodie has not been washed in weeks, because there is a newcomer named Michael and Will cannot even look at him. Because it has been bad. “I’m here.”

It is as much a reminder as it is a plea as it is a reprimand as it is a fruitless nothing, because when Nico struggles he gets angry, when Nico struggles he gets mean and biting and violent, but when Will struggles he wants the world to kill him. And for all that Nico is halfway to the grave he has clawed and chewed and fought his way to survival. And when Will scratches at the skin around his ears and screams into his hands and opens the chapped over scars on his lips his palms his fingers, Nico can only hold him, Nico can only gently pry his nails from his flesh and tell himself that one day they will get to the point where Nico wakes up. Where Will wakes him up, where he burrows into the place between his arms and his chest and hides in someone else for once. Where he trusts someone outside of himself enough to bare his back.

“I’m here,” he whispers again, and he presses his lips to Will’s hair and holds him as he sobs, “I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.”

[heavenbarnes]

okay hear me out— softness and gentle topics aside, how would older bf!simon go about discussing his mom & Tommy? would it ever occur? Would it be a vulnerable and gentle discussion with sins laid on the table or would it be like pulling teeth— panic attack arises and the words are spewing.

at first I’d have headcanoned it that maybe we innocently question the clinginess but I’m not so sure anymore; feels like that would just be second nature for the two.

i’ve never ventured into this topic because it’s literally so devastating that i almost considered writing it out of canon for him- but it’s time 🫶🏼 (massive tw for family loss)

the day older bf!simon tells you about his family, it’s at breakfast.

he’d made the food and you’d made the coffee, both expertly passing each other in your kitchen until you’d settled at the table.

when he told you, you had toast hanging out your mouth.

“pardon?”

“i had a family”

you weren’t really talking about anything in particular, so you made quick mental work of skimming over your conversation until you found where this was coming from.

sunny outside, nice day, should go to the farmers market, get groceries, it’ll be crowded, family day-

i had a family

had.

oh.

your heart had start to speed up in your chest and part of you was scared simon’s military precision hearing would be able to tell.

judging by the look on his face, distant, quiet- he couldn’t hear the thrumming against your sternum.

you were thankful, it meant he kept speaking.

“my mum and my brother, tommy- he had a missus too and a kid”

had.

oh god.

he wouldn’t look at you, his gaze drifted out the window and onto the birds that were floating over the fruit tree in the backyard.

you couldn’t say there was much of you to look at, a hardline of your mouth and eyes that were willing themselves not to water.

“they weren’t in a good way- but i helped them get better”

the corners of your lips quirked reflexively but it fell away just as quickly, unable to escape the voice in the back of your head that kept saying the same thing.

had.

why is every thing in the past tense?

probably for the same reason this is the first time you’re hearing this story. when is the right time to get to this part?

the moment he cuts the rope, lets you down from where he’s had you hanging- you wish you could react in any other way.

instead, your mouth hangs open while your hand does its best to cover it.

the toast goes cold, so does the coffee.

the tears break through of their own accord.

and he still won’t look at you.

“oh, simon”

your mind races in a way you’ve never felt before, thoughts you’d never had before rising to the surface.

first, you want to hurt someone, anyone- whoever you can blame for doing this to simon.

(you quickly realise he’s probably already done that)

second, you want to take him by the shoulders and tell him that this was never his fault.

that there was nothing he did or could’ve done to deserve this.

and you’re sure that there’s layers to his job and things he’s done and seen that’d make him think that cannot be true.

but you don’t care- there is no human alive that could ever deserve what you’ve just been told.

you don’t care.

you love him.

third, you start to make sense of some of simon’s behaviours.

the way he calls your name when you’re at the other end of the house, just to know where you are.

the way you can turn around at any given moment and find him closer than your shadow.

the way he calls you on deployment only to hear you tell him you love him and you’re still home waiting.

the way he cannot exist without a hand on you, without knowing where you are, without knowing you’re still his.

and there you go again, wanting to hurt whoever put him in this position.

grateful to be able to love him how he needs but angry- blind rage in knowing what he went through to get to this point.

it’s why you’re out of your seat and wrapping your arms around his shoulders the minute you hear even a sniff.

you let him ruin your shirt with tears as strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you so close into him you wouldn’t be at all surprised if the particles shifted just enough for you to become one.

as if you weren’t already.

you’d never, never ever, questioned simon’s ever present need to be close. you’d come to accept it, enjoy it, miss it when he was gone.

it was never overbearing, never out of line, always right when you needed it.

reminding you that he was there.

that he loved you.

that he needed you.

just as much as you needed him.

and god, did he need to be needed.

did he need you to pass him the pickle jar (even when you could open it just fine)

did he need you to make him take the rubbish out (when you could do it yourself)

did he need you to call him when the car was making a funny sound (when you knew it was the fan belt)

did you need him to pull you into his lap at the end of a long day and rest his lips against the crown of your head as he rubbed slow circles into your back.

like you were doing for him now.

“simon, i just need you to know- i’m not going anywhere”

you made it to the farmer’s market, eventually. it was crowded, meaning simon’s arm never let your waist.

not that you mind.

not that you ever mind.