#like I have so many thoughts about this man

[wsoc-gay]

Hurt

Leah Williamson x Reader

Summary: You're a sergeant in the British Army and after breaking some promises it begins to effect yours and Leah's marriage, risking your relationship with your daughter.

A/N: I dont love how the ending of this came out, but nonetheless 10k words of angst with a hint of fluff. As always put your requests in my asks!

Based on this request

You were ten years old when you met Leah for the first time. She was a thin, tall girl, with sandy blonde hair, and a fringe blowing in her eyes. You were trialing with the Arsenal Academy, having just moved to London. Leah had already been an established player on the team, having played for a few years, but they encouraged all their current players to attend the trial. The first thing she noticed about you was the goalkeeper gloves covering your hands, not many girls your age were willing to play keeper, not to mention enjoyed it. Leah certainly didn’t fancy herself a time in net, frankly she would do anything to avoid going in, she thought you were weird for liking it. The next thing she noticed was that you were taller than her, at that age Leah was always the tallest on the team, she thought it was weird you were so tall.

After a few practices, Leah started to pick up on how fiercely competitive you were, similar to how she was. Most of the girls on your team didn’t care about winning in training and would rather have a good time with their mates, but Leah could see the look in your eye, the way you clenched your jaw, and how you would rapidly open and close your hands after each shot that slipped past you, being trapped by the netting behind you. She liked that about you, how badly you wanted to win at everything you did, this shared passion for winning is what first sparked your friendship.

You weren’t used to having friends, never staying in one place for long enough to make any. Your dad was a captain in the British Army, meaning by your young age you had already lived in more countries than you could remember. This move was different though, you knew you weren’t going to be packing up soon and leaving, this time was for good. This time was for good because your dad was no longer in the Army, he wasn’t even your dad anymore, he was killed on a random Tuesday, in a country you couldn’t pronounce, on what he promised was his last deployment.

It was after dinner time when two men, dressed in the suit your dad wore when he married your mom, knocked on your door. You parents taught you never to open the door for strangers, but when you looked out the window and saw the men in uniforms you assumed they were friends with your dad.

You opened the door and looked up at the tall men, “My daddy isn’t home right now, he’s on a work trip,” they always called his deployments ‘work trips’, your parents didn’t want you to know the seriousness of what he was doing so they settled on calling his deployments his work trips.

The man on the right had a soft smile as he bent down to your level, “We’re actually here to talk with your mum, is she here?”

You nodded your head quickly and turned to go get her. As soon as you turned around you saw her standing in the doorway, a horrified expression on her face. You weren’t sure why she looked so scared it was just your dad’s friends. She knew what they were there for, the horrifying reality of many military spouses and family members. This was something she had nightmares about since he started deploying. A repeating nightmare of men coming to her door to tell her the love of her life was dead.

“Go to your room sweetie,” your mom told you breathlessly.

You gave her a confused look, but before you could ask why she sternly repeated herself. You ran up the stairs, knowing she really meant it, but you didn’t go to your room, you sat hiding behind the wall at the top of the stairs. You tried listening to what the men were saying, but you didn’t hear anything until the gut wrenching sobs that escaped your mom.

You ran down the steps and attached yourself to your mom’s side, not knowing why she was so sad, but knowing she needed you. She pulled you into a tight hug and continued to sob into you. 

Later that night when her sobs softened, she pulled you onto the couch and told you what the men had told her, that your dad died. You tried your best to stay strong for your mom, but you couldn’t help the sobs that wrecked your small body.

It had been a few months since you saw your dad, but after you found out about his passing the only thing you could remember was the last thing he told you, “Look after your mom for me, she gets sad when I’m gone. I’m always proud of you baby.”

Your dad told you to look after your mom and that is exactly what you did. You held her while she cried after work, this happened every night for months. And after you held her, she would send you to bed and there you could cry. You never let your mom see you upset, you thought it would make everything harder for her, so you cried to yourself at night.

For a long time, you were sad, your dad was your hero, you always wanted to be just like him. Leah helped when you were sad, it made you feel better and distracted you from thinking about your dad when the two of you hung out. You and Leah lived in different neighborhoods and when to different primary schools when you were young, but every day you would get off at her bus stop and walk over to her house. Your mom was a nurse, she worked long days in the hospital, oftentimes not getting home until after you had already finished training. 

So, saying you hung out with Leah a lot was an understatement, you’d go to her house after school, drive together to training, then go back to her house and wait for your mom came to get you. You didn’t see you mom much, but whenever you did, she was not in a good mood, either about to go into or just come off a long shift. She was always angry when she’d pick you up from Leah’s. She was angry until you got home, she took a seat on your couch with her special drink, and eventually fall asleep. Before you went to bed you’d turn the tv off and cover her in a blanket.

You loved your mom and knew everything she was doing was for you, but you couldn’t help but miss your dad. You would never dare tell you mom about how much you missed him, remembering back to the last time you did and being met with a slap across your face that kept your cheek red for nearly three days. You told her how sad you were and how much you missed him, and she started yelling about how she missed him more than you and that you would never understand how much she missed him. The alcohol was clear on her breath, but you didn’t notice at that age.

The next day you told Leah and her mom that you had tripped in the garden, Leah believed you, but even though her mom wasn’t so sure she let you on your way, making sure to keep an extra close eye on your mood the next few days. It was hard to tell if anything was different with you, since you got to London you had become much better at hiding your feelings. You wanted to look after your mom so you wouldn’t let her see you sad. You also didn’t want to talk about your feelings, so you hid it from everyone. You got horribly used to keeping your feelings to yourself, so you would just bottle them up, hoping no one would notice. Your dad was a strong man, you never saw him cry and you wanted to be just like him, so no one would see you cry.

Even as you got older and didn’t need to spend as much time at Leah’s, now being old enough to stay home alone, you still found yourself taking the bus to Leah’s neighborhood and spending afternoons before training there. Oddly enough the older you got the earlier your mom was getting out of work, you’d arrive home from training to see her passed out on the couch, with a bottle of whatever her alcohol of choice was that day on the table beside her.

You would put your stuff away in your room before cooking dinner, eating your serving, plating your mother’s to put on the table aside her for whenever she woke up, and then would go to your room for the night. You didn’t like to hang around for when your mother woke up, whenever you were there, she would find something to yell at you about. Nothing you could do would be good enough for her and then she’d drag your dad into it, telling you how you would never make him proud. Having heard her say that to you since the day he died you decided you’d join the army as soon as you were of age, you know that would make him proud. 

You were fifteen when you were drunk at a party and kissed Leah. You had been harboring feelings for her for a few years at that point. When you were younger you weren’t sure what those feelings were, having never had many friends you assumed you just liked her as a friend. As you got older, and people started dating you realized that you were falling for the blonde girl. It was easy to hide for a while, you both always hung out and you were able to hide those feelings like you did with any other feeling.

However, that night under the influence of a bit of alcohol you couldn’t hold in those feelings anymore. When you kissed her, she was shocked for a moment, but quickly kissed you back. She had been feeling the same way for a while but didn’t think you saw her that way. You started dating a week later and had been together ever since.

You were in the stands when Leah made her debut for the full team at 17 and she was there for you the day you graduated your final phase of training at 18. Leah wasn’t necessarily overjoyed at the prospect of you joining the Army, but you had talked about since the day you met, and she was never going to stand in the way of what was your dream. She was going to stand by your side through it as you were doing it for her.

You got married ten years into your relationship, a beautiful ceremony just outside London, surrounded by your friends, co-workers, and families. You were dressed in dressed blues adorned with medals you were oh so proud of as Leah looked astonishing in her elegant white gown. 

You both were 30 when Leah won the World Cup, however, you weren’t there to witness it. Instead of being there to witness history being made you were halfway through a deployment to the Middle East watching the games on the rare occasion you had access to the internet. 

When you arrived home four months later, you and Leah went on holiday to celebrate your homecoming and her world victory. You were sat at a nice dinner to celebrate the last day of a lovely holiday when Leah told you she wanted to have a baby. It was a conversation you had before, both of you knew you wanted kids, but you didn’t want to get pregnant and at the time Leah wasn’t sure if she would be willing to put her career on hold to have a baby. But now, after having completed international football, she decided she was ready to pause her career and fulfil both of your dreams.

It was the perfect time to have a baby, Leah didn’t have any major international tournaments the following year and you had just gotten home from a deployment and likely wouldn’t be sent away for at least a few more years. You started the IVF process as soon as you arrived home from holiday and after two rounds were officially expecting a baby girl. Amelia Lily Y/L/N Williamson was born on a sunny September day and was immediately your entire world.

The next time you were deployed was when Amelia was 2 years old, you told her the same thing your mom used to tell you about your father, that you were going on a work trip. 8 months later when you came home Amelia had a rough time adjusting to you being back in the home, clearly affected by your absence.

The fighting with Leah started soon after you came home, it wasn’t every night and was never anything physical, but you and Leah would argue about your career. You were lucky that you hadn’t been stationed outside of England since 24, but the deployments every few years took a toll on your relationship. She had been asking about you leaving the Army since you got married, she wanted you home more, and didn’t want to be having to worry about you possibly dying overseas in the same manner your father did.

It was 2 weeks after you had gotten home, and Amelia still wasn’t quite used to you being there yet. She wouldn’t let you handle bath time alone, wouldn’t let you play with her, and wouldn’t let you put her to bed without Leah there as well.

You were sat on the edge of Amelia’s bed, attempting to read her a story before she went to bed, but she wouldn’t calm down, “I want Mama,” the small girl cried pushing a hand against your chest.

You ran a hand through her blonde hair, “Mama will be here soon, lovie, I’m just going to get started on your story while we wait for her.” 

She clenched her fists and pounded them into her bed, “I don’t want Mummy bedtime story, I want Mama bedtime story,” the small girl cried.

Since you got home you and Leah had tried to give you more one on one time with Amelia, hoping that she would get more used to you being around, but every time you tried it ended this same way. Leah wasn’t busy right now, she was sat on the couch in your living room, hoping to remain there until she heard the story finish. Leah had done the beginning of Amelia’s nighttime routine, her bath, her teeth, getting her dressed, but hoped that she’d allow for you to handle the story.

You sighed and looked to your daughter with pleading eyes, “I’m reading the same story Mama reads you, Mama will be here soon, but we’re just going to read the story,” you held up the book to show her the familiar cover page.

She flipped onto her stomach and dug her head into her pillow crying, “I don’t want you Mummy, I want Mama.”

You sighed, the guilt of seeing your daughter like this after your absence was eating you alive. You knew how hard she took it when Leah left for weekend away trips, but you never expected her to act like this upon your return. You had expected her to be excited to see you home, knowing you both were always close. Ever since she was born, she loved being with you. After Leah would feed her, you would take your daughter to burp and then she’d fall asleep against your chest, one hand gripped to your shirt and cuddled as close to you as possible. She always loved being in your arms, even as she grew your arms were huge around her, she always felt so safe with you, anytime she was upset everything seemed to melt away the second she was in your strong arms.

You sat there rubbing your hands over your face when Amelia began kicking her feet into her mattress, “I want Mama, Mama doesn’t leave me,” now she was screaming.

You sighed rubbing a hand on her back, “I don’t like leaving you sweetie, but I have to for work.”

“Mama leaves on work trips and Mama comes home. You leave for work trips, and you don’t come home,” the small girl continued was sobbing into her pillow.

It broke your heart to hear your little girl like this. From your own experience you remember how hard it was having your father leave on his deployments, but you don’t remember ever getting to the extent that you saw your daughter right now. You were always overjoyed the minute your dad got home, you’d be waiting at the base for him and jumping into his arms as soon as he reached you. You wouldn’t let him out of your sights for weeks after he’d return, too scared that he’d disappear again.

You couldn’t help but feel like you failed her, this little girl and her mom were your whole world and you felt like you failed them both. Here you were sat on the edge of a little bed, staring into small eyes identical to those of the love of your life as she laid in bed sobbing because you were sat next to her.

You sighed and had you head in your hands when suddenly you heard a familiar voice in the doorway, “Mama is here now let’s read your bedtime story.”

Leah walked around to the opposite side of the toddler bed and sat on the edge, one hand rubbing down your daughters back, “Would you like to read your story now?” she asked the toddler.

You and Leah looked at each other confused as you heard a quiet mumbling into the pillow, neither of you sure what she had said, “What was that, lovie? Can you speak up, please?” you softly asked.

She turned her head to face your wife and grabbed her sleeve, “I don’t want Mummy here for story time. Just want Mama.”

Your heart broke all over again as you heard her words, Leah looked to you with tired and heartbroken eyes, before she spoke, “It’s okay sweetie, we can do our usual story time with Mummy.”

Amelia dug her head back into the pillow as she repeatedly shook her head no.

Leah went to speak again, but you cut her off putting your hand up, “It’s okay Le, I’ll go,” you leaned down to place a kiss on your daughter’s head, “I love you, lovie, sleep well,” you stood up and walked out of the room not before looking back from the doorway and seeing Amelia roll over and cuddle into Leah’s side.

The first dew nights you understood that she was upset, and over your calls with Leah, knew it was going to take some getting used to for the 3-year-old. However, you never expected it to drag out this long. She used to love you reading to her before bed, she’d cuddle into your side while Leah read to her, almost always falling asleep in your arms.

You dragged yourself down the halls and into your shared bedroom with Leah. You changed into a pair of shorts and an old, oversized army hoodie. You went into the bathroom and stared at yourself in the mirror for a while. Every time you came home from a deployment you looked to have aged about 5 years, you were only 33, but by the dark circles under your eyes, and the stress wrinkles covering your face, people could’ve guessed you were well into your 40s. 

Deployments were always hard, out in the sun all day, working all day, not sleeping well, and being away from Leah. This deployment was a lot worse than the others, not only being away from Leah, but also Amelia took a large not toll on you, and to make it worse it was a rough deployment. Your troop was sent on more missions than you had ever experienced on a deployment before, you were stationed in a high combat area. Multiple soldiers under your command had died in combat and being their sergeant, you took their deaths especially hard. You felt like you were the reason these soldiers weren’t going to return to their families.

Your PTSD was also worse than ever before. You’ve had it since your early deployments, but it never went past a few nightmares, now it wasn’t just at night, you were starting to have panic attacks. They would come without warning, you were at the park with Leah and Amelia yesterday afternoon when a loud scream in the distance sent your mind back to the battlefield, you suddenly were shoving your wife and daughter behind your back, wanting to protect them from whatever caused the screams. Amelia was terrified seeing you like that and it took Leah nearly 20 minutes to calm you down and convince you that they were safe.

You remember when this used to happen to your dad, you didn’t realize what it truly was at the time, but now you understand. It would take you mom a while to calm him down, but you weren’t scared of him when it happened, you knew that he was only ever doing it to protect you. Amelia didn’t see it this way, all she saw was you panicking trying to protect her and Leah. It put Leah in a complicated spot, trying to calm you down while also trying to convince your daughter that you were okay.

Your hands were leaning against the counter and your head hanging low when you felt a hand rubbing your back, you looked up in the mirror to see Leah’s face reflected right behind your shoulder, “She go down alright, once I finally left?”

Leah sighed, “It’s not like that-”

You cut her off before she could continue, “Yes, it is, Leah, our daughter hates me,” you turned away from the counter and walked into your bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Leah followed you into the room sat next to you placing a hand on your thigh, “She doesn’t hate you, y/n, she-”

You sharply cut her off again, “She’s just getting used to it, I know Leah, but I never had to get used to my dad being home, not like this. I was overjoyed when he was home, I wouldn’t let him out of my sight when he came home. He was my best friend, my hero, and I thought that’s how Amelia saw me, but clearly, I was wrong.” 

Leah sighed rubbing circles into your thigh, “I wasn’t going to say that” she sent you a small glare, “So stop interrupting me,” you nodded, “I was going to tell you that she cried almost every night for the first month. She wanted to know where you were, she didn’t understand why you weren’t coming home and I didn’t know what to tell her,” Your wife sighed, “Every away match when she’d come with me, she would be so angry the whole trip, constantly complaining about how she was missing out on her Mummy and Amelia days. She missed you, love, she missed you so much she didn’t know how to handle it. She is mad that you left that’s why she’s taking it so hard.”

You wiped a hand over your face, “Well, what am I supposed to do about that now? She was mad that I left, I get that, but I’m home now and I’m trying, and she hardly lets me see her.”

The blonde defender rubbed her hand over your thigh, “You can try apologizing to her. Tell her that you’re sorry for leaving and that you won’t be leaving like that again.”

“You know I can’t tell her that, Leah. I may not be leaving soon, but eventually I’ll have to leave again.”

“Or you don’t have to leave again?”

You scoffed, “You know I can’t just tell the Army not to deploy me, I’ll have to leave again.”

Leah sighed and looked towards her feet, “I’m trying to say that maybe you should think about stepping away from the Army.”

You laughed, “That’s funny, love, leaving the Army,” You looked towards her and saw the serious look on her face, “You’re not kidding, are you?”

Her blue eyes met yours, “No, I’m not kidding.”

“I’m not leaving the Army, end of story.”

“You’re not even going to talk about it?”

You pushed yourself off the bed and turned to face the England captain, “There’s nothing to talk about, I’m not leaving the Army.”

Leah stood up and walked towards you a stern look and tone in her voice, “Why won’t you talk about it? Do you not care about your relationship with Amelia?”

You took a step back and pointed a finger towards her, “Don’t you dare bring her up. You know this has nothing to do with her.”

“How does it have nothing to do with her? You’re seeing now the consequences your career is having on her,” Your wife started to raise her voice, “This has everything to do with her, you’re destroying your relationship with her.”

You knew she had a point, that your career was affecting your relationship with your daughter. Anyone could tell that you leaving was affecting her, but what you failed to notice was how it also affected Leah. You never thought about how hard it was on her, she was always so excited to hear from you while you were away and celebrated every time you came home, it never crossed your mind how hard you being away was on her.

She noticed your hesitancy to answer, and you saw her seem to draw in on herself, she spoke softly, “And it’s not only affecting your relationship with her,” the blonde defender looked down at her feet.

“What are you trying to say, that my career is affecting us?”

Leah looked at you as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Of course it is.”

You looked at her and your expression dropped, “You never mentioned anything.”

Tears began to peak in her eyes, “I didn’t think I had to mention anything. I’ve been worrying about you over the course of your deployments for over ten years,” she wiped a tear as it began to fall, “Everyday you’re there I am absolutely terrified. Every time you reschedule a call because you’re going out, I stay awake for days, unable to sleep because I’m so worried sick over you,” the tears began falling harder, “Every there’s a knock on the door I’m terrified that I’m going to open it to the same thing your mom did when your dad died.”

“Don’t mention my dad to use him against me.”

She gasped, “I’m not using him against you. I’m trying to get you to understand why I think you should leave the military. I’m trying to get you to see it through my eyes, the eyes that are worried sick of her wife, the mother of her child, dying in a sandpit overseas.”

“Have I ever asked you to quit football?” you sharply asked.

Leah’s voice was raised now, “How is this the same as football?”

Your tone matched hers, “You’re gone all day at training and then leave for days at a time, I go on deployment once every few years, Leah.”

She scoffed again, “You’re gone once every few years for nearly a year at a time. And I know while I’m at football you’re not worried about me dying.”

You turned and began to walk out of the room, “I’m not leaving the Army, that’s final.”

Leah yelled out as you reached the doorway, “Please just think about it. Think about how much better our life could be with you at home, think about how this is affecting all of us.”

You nodded before turning and leaving Leah in the middle of your room, tears streaming down her face.

The truth was you thought about it, for about thirty seconds. You knew you weren’t going to leave the Army. While you heard everything Leah had said and hated the way she felt about the situation you knew that you weren’t going to leave the career you had made. The career you were so proud of, the life that you knew your dad would be proud of. 

---

Now, two years later you stood in your kitchen, sobs wrecking from your wife after you just told her you would be deploying again in two weeks’ time. While Leah knew it was a longshot to get you to leave the Army two years ago, she thought that you would think it over and come around before they would get the chance to deploy you again. 

She thought you would think about her, about Amelia, and realize that the right decision was to leave. She hoped that her retirement from football last year would spark something in you, but evidently it didn’t.

The strong former defender looked tiny as she leaned against the counter, her body wrecked by sobs, “Why are you doing this to us?”

Your hands were dug through your hair, “I’m not doing anything to us. This isn’t about our family it is about my career.”

Leah stood up and pushed her two hands against your chest, “This has everything to do with us, you’re leaving us again. I thought that you would finally stand up and choose me and your daughter over the Army, but clearly, I was wrong.”

“I’m not choosing anything over anyone. I’m going to war, to fight, and protect you. I am not choosing the Army over you; I’m choosing the Army for you.”

Leah’s sobs were lessened by her raised voice, “If you were choosing something for me, for us, you would’ve left the Army two years ago when your daughter could hardly look at you for months.”

She was right, it had taken Amelia nearly four months of you being home, to get over the betrayal she felt by your absence. It wrecked you seeing her like that, for so long, but the only thing you had at that time was the Army. Your career never turned its back on you, it celebrated your devotion, and you sacrifice. The only thing that helped you feel better during that time was going to work and knowing you were making a difference.

You lowered your voice, hoping to calm the situation, “I need to do this, love. You know what my career means to me.”

Leah’s expression was still cold, “Don’t call me that while you’re telling me that you’re choosing work over me.”

You slammed your fist against the countertop, “How many times do I need to tell you that I’m not choosing work over you. Nothing is more important to me than my family and the Army.”

Her hands covered her face, “Why is your family at the same level as your job? I would never have chosen football over you and our daughter. I gave up my career for a year just to have her.”

Your expression was stern and portrayed little emotions, “The Army is my family-”

The blonde cut you off, shoving you back again, “Stop saying that me and Amelia mean no more to you than the Army. In no world should your family be at the same level as your job.”

Now you were angry, “This isn’t just my job this is my life, this is my father’s legacy. I am committing myself to the same thing he did. I am living the life that he gave his entire existence to.”

“And do you want to die before you see your daughter turn ten?”

You sucked in a tight breath, “Don’t you dare say that to me.”

She gasped, “That’s the truth. It’s the harsh reality and it is the reason why you need to choose us over your job.”

“I’m not leaving the Army; I’ll be home in nine months and when I get home then, and we have this same conversation my answer will not change,” your cold expression never faltered.

She sighed and spoke the quietest since the beginning of the argument, “Then I’m leaving you.”

Your head whipped towards her, “What did you just say?”

More confidently this time, “I am leaving you and I’m taking Amelia with me. We can’t live like this anymore.”

“We’ve been together for 20 years you can’t just leave me.”

Leah leaned back against the counter, “And for the first 17 years I thought that me and our daughter came first. The last three years you’ve made it painfully obvious that isn’t true and I’m not going to raise my daughter in that environment.”

You crossed your arms, “I love you, Leah, I have for the past 20 years. I love Amelia and I have since the second she was born. You can’t leave me.”

You walked towards where Leah stood and reached to grab her hand. Your wife slipped away from the counter and crossed to the other side of the kitchen, “I know you love us, and you know that I love you too, but we can’t keep coming second to your career.”

“You don’t come second you-”

Leah cut you off, “Were on the same level, I know you’ve been telling me for years. I’m not going to put up with it anymore. Your family is supposed to come first and clearly, you’re not capable of that, so I’m done. You can try and fight it if you want, but I want to handle this between us. You know what is best for Amelia, you know that she is better off with me,” you just looked at her, unable to speak, “I’m going to pick her up from school, I hope you’re gone when I get back.”

“You’re not even going to let me say goodbye?”

Leah knew this meant that you agreed to her terms, you would give her full custody of your daughter. As much as it hurt, you knew that Leah was right. She would be able to give her the better life, Amelia would miss you for the first few months, but just like your last deployment, she would get over it and she would settle into her new life.

“You’re right, but you’re not staying here tonight. You can say goodbye during bedtime, but I want you gone before I go to bed.”

With that Leah walked out of your shared home, the home you had lived in for the last 8 years. You walked to your bedroom, the bedroom that held so many fond memories. In that room Leah told you that she was ready to have a baby, you did all the IVF shots there, you read the test confirming Leah’s pregnancy, felt Amelia move for the first time, spoke to your baby girl, held your daughter while she screamed during the night, and so many more. 

Now here you stood, staring into your closet deciding what you wanted to take with you as you moved out of your beloved home. Moved out of this home by yourself, leaving your daughter and wife, soon to be ex-wife, behind.

There were a lot of tears that night as you said goodnight to your daughter. You had tears in your eyes and streaming down your cheeks as you knew it would be the last time you would see her for a long while. Tears were also streaming down her face as she cried for Leah, you had told her you would be deploying again, and she did not take it well. Once you told her she immediately shut down and wanted her Mama there, the woman who never left her behind.

She didn’t understand what this goodbye meant, and you didn’t have the heart to tell her. You promised your blonde daughter that you loved her and that you’d always protect her even if you were halfway across the world. So, you left that night under the gauge that you were deploying, not telling her that you would be gone for much longer than that now.

---

It was six months later when you found yourself waking up under the bright, blinding lights of a hospital room. You weren’t sure where you were or what was happening as your breathing increased and you slowly began to panic. Sitting up quickly and searching the room for a sign of where you were.

The room was silent besides the sound of your labored breathings and subtle beeps from the machines on your bedside. It was a small room, but if anything was clear from the number of machines whirring beside you, it was that whatever you were here for was serious.

The white walls and lights lit up the room fully, but they were accompanied by the sun shining in from the large windows. It looked as every other hospital you had visited; the room your mom was brought to when she cut her hand open while drinking in your teenage years, the room Leah was in after her ACL tear, the room Amelia was born in, and the room you visited injured soldiers in. 

Even though you didn’t know what brought you here, every hospital room granted the same feeling, fear, doubt, shock. Your entire body was in an achy pain, moving ever so slightly caused pain to radiate through your entire body. Even just the lights sent pain searing through your head.

The door was opened, and a female doctor rushed to your bedside, “Calm down, Sergeant, you’re okay, you’re safe.”

You gave her a confused look with wide eyes, “Where am I?” you croaked out, your voice scratchy.

“You’re in the hospital, you were injured in the field a week ago. You have been in a coma since.”

Your eyes widened, you had no memory of an injury, “What happened?”

You were five months into your deployment when you were informed of your next base move. Your unit was being sent to a different base, nearly four hours away, in a much more dangerous area. The British squad there was slowly being overpowered by the enemy and they needed more British soldiers there to defend.

This deployment had been noticeable easier than your previous one. You had been stationed in a much safer area than last time and rarely had to go out on missions. You were stationed far away from any enemy camps and hardly came across anyone in your day-to-day. Your squad was only sent on missions when a British troop was in danger.

You hadn’t lost anyone in your squad, but this seemed a bit too good to be true. You hadn’t been on the front lines often, but when you were it was highly dangerous. It was a near miracle that none of your soldiers had lost their lives.

Now you found yourself in the passenger seat of your Foxhound, your right-hand man for this deployment in the driver’s seat beside you. You were about two hours into the drive when the unimaginable happened.

You were driving along a dirt road, the same you had been on for the whole journey, and nearly identical to ever other road in this area. There were no buildings around, no people, and no vehicles other than your unit’s. All of a sudden you hit a bump, for the second you recognized it as a rock in the road, but then suddenly your truck was being blown through the air and flipping over itself. 

The IED blew the back of your truck tumbling over the front. The flip crushed the and folded in the hood, trapping your left leg in the damage. The other vehicles in your unit weren’t damaged and the other soldiers came running to the aide of you and your partner. You were unconscious the minute the roof of the truck hit the ground, and as your men reached you, they quickly realized you were stuck in the damage. 

They were able to get the other man out, his injuries seemed minor compared to yours. You had severe injuries that even your soldiers could assume were nearly deadly. The aide unit reached you an hour later, your soldier sat by your side protecting the vehicle incase any insurgents heard the explosion. The rescue team was able to get you out of the damage in due time, but at the cost of your left leg. They treated you at a nearby aide station until you were stable enough to be transferred to a hospital. 

This was a week ago, now you laid in your hospital bed, finally waking from the medically induced coma the doctors had placed you in due to the traumatic brain injury you suffered. As the doctor explained your injuries, losing your leg, broken ribs, cracked skull, TBI, shattered wrist, and many internal injuries, you zoned out not truly believing the words falling from the doctor’s mouth. You lifted the blanket covering your legs and looked down to see your missing extremity, it was almost as if you didn’t believe what the doctor was saying.

Your breathing was still fast, but it was beginning to regulate as you realized what was happening. All you were thinking about now was how much you wished someone was by your side, but you knew that wasn’t happening. This was the life you had chosen for yourself, a life alone, a life with the Army as your family, the life you chose over your real family. You knew that Leah wasn’t there for you and wasn’t coming to you.

The doctor interrupted your thoughts when she spoke, “Sergeant, we will be transferring you to London shortly. You’ll be remaining there until their doctors declare you healthy enough to return home. You’ll be heavily sedated for the trip, otherwise due to your injuries you would be in unimaginable pain.” 

You simply nodded your head, not knowing how to respond to the doctor’s words. As they began to prepare you for transfer your head was empty. The only thing you were sure of at the moment was the pain radiating through your body. There wasn’t much running through your head, you weren’t sure what to think of the situation. And as they put you under the sedation the only thing you were thinking of was about was what would happen once you were back in London, where you would go.

You woke up a few hours later, lying flat in a new hospital bed, looking up at a ceiling nearly identical to the one you were in hours earlier. The same bright lights, white ceiling, whirring of medical devices on your bedside. You heard quiet talking in the distance when you leaned up on your elbows and saw a man in a white coat standing in the doorway speaking to someone that was blocked by the wall.

You watched for a moment, they hadn’t noticed you were awake, and then turned to look around the room. You spotted a bag which you could never forget sitting on the couch to your right, Leah was here.

Wincing as you moved up the bed, now leaning against the bed frame. The doctor turned to look into the room, clearly having heard your pained noise.  Once he saw you awake and sitting up, he walked in, Leah following behind, “Nice to see you awake Sergeant, I hope the flight over was smooth.”

You smirked, “Wouldn’t be able to tell you if it wasn’t,” you looked past the doctor to see Leah hesitantly standing next to the doorway, leaning against the wall.

 “I’m just going to do a few quick checks on you and then I’ll leave you to get some rest.”

The doctor came to your bedside and took notes in your chart with some of the information on the many devices connected to your body. As he did some hands-on checks you couldn’t stop staring right past him and at the English defender standing in the back. You weren’t sure why she was here; you had changed your emergency contact right before you left on deployment, fearing this exact situation. You knew where you stood with Leah and didn’t want her to be called in if something like this were to happen.

The doctor finished her checks and confirmed that everything looked good in relation to your current state. He looked to Leah as he announced you’d likely be staying in the hospital for about a week, they needed to keep a close eye on your recovery.

The doctor left the room after mentioning he’d be back soon to check on you once again. Leah thanked the doctor and looked over toward you, there was a silence for a minute neither of you quite knowing what to say, but you broke it, “You don’t have to be here, Leah.”

The blonde slowly approached your bed, “Don’t even try telling me to leave.”

“I’m sorry they called you, I’m not sure why they did. I changed my mom to my emergency contact; I don’t know why they-”

Leah cut you off as she sat on the edge of your hospital bed, “They didn’t call me,” you gave her a confused look, “Your mom called me. Why’d you put her down?”

You had a strained relationship with your mom since you moved out of the house. She tormented you after your father died, always drunk and always angry. It was when you enlisted that she really hated you, she didn’t understand why you would put yourself into the same situation that killed your dad. At the time you didn’t understand her anger, you thought what you were doing was honorable, was something to be proud of. What you knew now, from being with Leah, was that she was simply terrified, just like Leah was. You moved out after you enlisted and after the argument that followed. 

You and her had some contact, mostly through her expenses and medical care. As much as Leah hated it, you were always there for your mother whenever she called. And while it was never personal and you never introduced her to your daughter, you always took care of whatever she needed. She’d call you for money, you received all her bills, you took care of everything because even with how horribly she treated you, there was always that part of you who understood her. You understood the spiral she had after your father’s passing and he told you to take care of her, and you would never disobey one of his orders. Her drinking was something you delt with from the moment your dad passed. What you didn’t notice as a kid, was that she wasn’t attending work. When you were at school and Leah’s hour assuming she was working in the hospital, she really was at home drinking. The alcohol has taken its toll on her body and her health was now steadily declining.

Leah, obviously, knew all of this having been there for you through it all. Which is why she was so confused to find out that you had her placed in the spot your ex-wife once held.

You looked down in your lap, “Well, I needed to take you off it and I didn’t know who else to put. I filled it out assuming it wouldn’t have to be used, but here we are.”

She let out a soft chuckle, “Well here we are, Y/N.”

You met her eyes, staring into the blue, “What’d she say when she called you?”

Leah sighed, “I don’t think that’s important.”

Your expression grew more serious, “Yes, it is, please tell me.”

The blonde sighed and looked to the ceiling, “She was clearly drunk when she called, it was after you had arrived here, so I’m not really sure what she thought when she got the first call you were hurt, but she didn’t call me then,” Leah took your, uninjured, hand in hers, “She told me that you were here, but that she didn’t remember what the doctor told her about what happened or how you were, so I was half-expecting to show up here and you be in even worse shape. She said that this was your own fault, and that you did this to yourself by choosing to be in the Army. Then she told me it was my fault for not convincing you to leave sooner, started blaming me for killing you,”

You squeezed her hand, “This isn’t your fault, you tried to get me to leave. This was my own fault.”

She sighed, “I know, and I told her I tried to get you to leave, but she just kept saying that this was the same thing that happened with your dad. That he didn’t love her or you enough to leave and it killed him.”

“She has always said I’m just like him, but you know this isn’t your fault. You know I love you and Amelia more than anything.”

Leah’s eyes met yours, “I know you do; I was so scared when she called, I thought you were dead.”

“I might be better off dead at this point,” the defender slapped your thigh, “I lost my leg Leah I can’t be a soldier anymore. I lost you and Amelia when I decided to stay in, and now I’ve lost the career I risked everything for.”

“I’m going to help you get through it, don’t worry.”

You sighed, “You don’t have to do that Leah, I know how you feel about me.”

“I’m going to help you; I’m not just throwing you to the curb.”

You leaned your head against the pillow, “I know I fucked up; I don’t expect you to forgive me and help me just because I got hurt. I’ll figure it out.”

“You don’t have to, I’m taking you home once they let you out of here,” she looked towards the foot of the bed, “I’m helping you get through this, we’ll work through it together.”

“What about Amelia? Won’t it confuse her?”

Leah sighed and spoke softly, “I never told her we split.”

You gave her a confused look, “You didn’t tell her?”

She had a serious look on her face, “No, I didn’t,” the confused look was still plastered across your face, “I might’ve regretted it after it really sunk in.”

Suddenly you felt a jolt of optimism deep in your stomach, you might not have really lost her, “What do you mean?”

Tears started to prick in her eyes, “I was just so terrified of losing you. The last deployment was so difficult on all of us, and I just didn’t think I could go through it again,” you reached to hold the blonde’s hand, “After you said you’d think about leaving I just thought that seeing how it had affected Amelia would convince you to leave, so part of me spent those years just expecting you to leave. When you came home and said you’d be going back I couldn’t handle it.”

You sighed, “I’m sorry, Le.”

“I just was so terrified that I would lose you and had convinced myself you couldn’t come out of every deployment healthy and that eventually it would catch up to you.”

You smirked, “Are saying you jinxed me?” Leah shot you a glare, “Sorry, sorry just trying to lighten the mood.”

The captain let a small smile cross her face, “You always are trying to lighten the mood.”

“You’re always too serious,” you countered.

“We even each other out.”

“Yes, we do.”

You spent the next week in hospital, Leah would come every day to visit for a few hours while Amelia was in school. You had asked her not to bring your daughter to see you, you didn’t want her to see you in the state you were in. You and Leah were slowly amending things, you knew it would be a long journey for the two of you, but you were taking the proper steps there. You spent the time in the hospital talking any things through, it seemed like the first time in a while you both had a proper conversation about what was going on in your heads. Leah told you her fears and you expressed why you were so desperate to stay in.

It was a week after arriving at the London hospital when you were crutching your way into your home. Leah had opened your car door for you and was rushing around you to grab the front door as well, she truly was a miracle worker for you. You had gone home during schooltime which was best, it gave you a few hours to settle back in before Amelia returned home. Leah had told her about everything going on so that the young girl wasn’t startled to see you, but you knew she wouldn’t understand completely until she saw you, and frankly you and Leah didn’t yet know how she’d react to seeing you.

You laid on the couch for the next few hours your foot and new stump were laid on the couch next to you while Leah seemed to be running at one hundred miles a minute trying to make sure you had everything. 

You looked over the back of the couch to Leah in the kitchen, “Would you come sit down Le? I’ve got everything I need I promise.” 

She continued her rummaging through the cabinets, “I’m just trying to fix you a snack I don’t want you to worry about anything.”

“I’m not hungry and the only thing I’m worried about right now is your heart rate,” you could hear Leah laugh from the kitchen, “I’m serious, love, come sit with me and relax.”

You leaned up as the defender approached the couch, sliding into where your head used to be and then relaxing you to lay in her lap, “How are you feeling? Do you need ice?”

“The same as the last twenty times in the past half hour, I’m fine, Leah.”

She ran her fingers through your hair, “I just worry about you, this is a big change and I want to make everything go as smoothly as possible for you.”

You smiled, “I appreciate it, seriously, but I am as okay as I can be right now. You’re being perfect I promise.”

“Just think of it as me repaying you for taking care of me while I was pregnant.”

You scoffed, “Oh, I was not this insufferable when I was taking care of you.”

This sent Leah into a spiral of explaining everything you used to do for her that annoyed her. Her rant lasted many minutes as it seemed like she had been waiting to tell you this ever since. The blonde went on and on explaining everything you used to do and how you hovered which only got worse overtime.

A few minutes into her rant you noticed the time, “Oh shit, don’t you need to go pick up Amelia? When’s school end?”

“I’m not leaving, my mum is grabbing her for me.”

You leaned to sit up as Leah pressed a hand against your back to help you. You swung your leg around, so you were sat next to her, “She’s going to hate me again isn’t she.”

Leah grabbed your hand, “She won’t hate you, just like she didn’t the first time. I can’t promise it won’t take some adjusting, but I can tell you she’s taken the news of you coming home a lot better than last time. She’s older now, she understands everything a bit better.”

“I just can’t deal with her hating me again. It almost broke me the last time, seeing the look on her face every time I would walk into the room.”

She sighed, “I can’t say it’s going to be easy, and I bet it’ll be hard for her to see you like this, but it’ll be okay in the end.”

“She’s going to be scared to look at me, I mean look,” you motioned to your legs, one covered in cuts and bruises and the other missing.

The blonde rubbed circles on your hand, “It’ll be hard, but she’s a strong little girl. She’ll understand I don’t want you to worry. She’s been excited about you coming home, we’ve been talking about it.”

You raised an eyebrow, “She’s excited?”

Leah smiled, “Ever since I told her you were in the hospital, she’s been asking me about when you’d come home. She’s been waiting for this, so listen when I tell you she’ll be okay.”

Your conversation was interrupted by the front door opening, Leah squeezed your hand before jumping up. She walked towards the door to see a yelling blonde girl, “Mama!”

Leah caught her as she jumped into her arms, standing up and pressing a kiss to the side of her head, “I missed you sweetie, how was school?”

“It was good we colored and then I got to play football during break time!” you could hear the smile on the small girls face as she spoke, them not far enough into the house to see you.

You reached for your crutches and used them to slowly get yourself to your feet. You took one step on them when Leah heard the noise and whipped her head around, “Sit back down we’ll come to you.”

She had a stern look on her face, but you shook your head as you crutched towards her and the small girl, “I’m okay Le,” you saw your daughter’s head peak over her mother’s shoulder meeting your eyes, “Hi, baby girl.”

Leah gently placed her back on the ground before whispering to her, “Remember what we talked about, being gentle with Mummy.”

You had stopped a few meters behind your wife, as the small girl slowly walked over to you, “I missed you, lovie,” you smiled down at her.

“I missed you too, Mummy,” She hugged you, on the side of your good leg, and you saw Leah winced, about to talk, but you shook her head telling her it was okay.

“Should we move to the couch so I can give you a proper cuddle?” She nodded and followed close behind as you crutched to the couch.

You sat by the arm and Amelia quickly climbed up to cuddle into your side, you wrapped an arm around her pulling her closer to your side. Leah hovered nearby and moved to sit down on the chair nearby.

“How was your work trip, Mummy?”

You and Leah both let out a soft laugh, “It was good at the beginning, I was hanging out with my friends all day,” Leah sighed, knowing this wasn’t the truth, “But I know Mama told you I got hurt at the end. I can explain it to you when you’re a little older.”

“Mama said the doctors had to take your leg. Why would they do that? That’s mean.”

You sighed, “You know what a car wreck is, right baby?” the small girl nodded, “Well, me and my friends were in a bad one and it hurt my leg very badly. My left was so bad that I couldn’t keep it anymore, it would’ve made me worse.”

She looked at you confused, “But now you can’t walk anymore or play with me and Mama in the garden.”

Your heart broke hearing your daughter speak. Your whole life would change now, and it was really setting in on how it was going to change. You knew that there were prosthetics, but nothing would give you back what you had before. Even with the advancements no prosthetic would be the same as having a leg.

Leah could see the tears starting to form and your eyes and took over the conversation, “Well, some special doctors are going to give your Mummy a robot leg once her leg is healed a little more. So, in a few months she’ll be able to walk again and even play with us in the garden.”

Her eyes lit up as she sat up and looked to you, “Really?”

There was a small crack in your voice as you looked to her, “Yep, they’re going to give me one and it’ll help me walk again. It will take a while until I’m ready for it, and then after that it will take a little while to get used to wearing it.”

She seemed to take this answer, “Does that mean you’ll be part robot?”

You laughed and ran a hand through her blonde hair, “I guess it does, I’ll be part robot.” 

She cuddled back into your side one arm wrapped around your waist. You leaned down to place a kiss against her hair and then looked over to see Leah watching you lovingly. You motioned for her to come over and she took a spot on the other side of your daughter wrapping her arm around the both of you. 

This was everything you missed and thought about while you were away. Having both of your girls back with you. You spent so many nights missing them and rotting with guilt over losing the both of them, but now you were here with your life put back together and in the arms of both of your girls.

You would have to adjust to this new life of injury, but you knew with these two you would get through it. They would be your motivation, getting back to your best would be for them, and they would be by your side every step of the way.

[babyyhoneyyy]

Ex marks the spot H.S

Y/N didn’t know why she said what she said and why she did what she did right after, when Harry curled his fingers around her throat and dragged her towards his mouth. His fingers slipped into her hair as he bit her bottom lip hard, “hate this mouth,” he mumbled against her, shoving her waist so she was forced to walk back and hit the bed. He pecked her jaw then came back to her mouth, “so bitchy.”

She whimpered against his lips. “You’re…” Y/N breathed as he kissed down her neck, “…an asshole.”

Harry sunk his teeth into the base of her throat, “yeah?”

Or,

The one where Harry is Y/N’s best friends ex, and theres something about him that makes her blood boil.

word count: 5k

content warning: mature! please don’t read if you are under 18. also harry is a dick in this one so i apologise in advance.

Y/N met Marigold during her first year of university.

She was a nervous mess, anxious about moving to a whole new city, surrounded by completely new people. When she was in high school, everyone would always rave about how fun and freeing university would be. Stories about large friend groups and parties every weekend had Y/N hoping she would contort into some kind of friendly and approachable version of herself so she could also experience uni like most people did.

Thankfully, fate had been on her side that first day on campus, probably pitied by her trembling hands and permanent frown. Anyone within a 10 metre radius of Y/N could have sensed that her nerves were on fire.

Soon enough that fire was consoled, and the universe sent her a cheeky wink and a sly smile; because the day she walked into her dorm, she found a teary Marigold wrapped in the arms of her father.

Marigold was pretty like her name— her hair was buttery, eyes like drops of honey and she had a smile that was entirely too contagious. Everything about her was beautiful. She was gorgeous and outgoing, an extrovert who practically pounced on Y/N the second she stepped into the room.

In the beginning, Y/N was quite wary of her; she found that usually people who were too friendly too soon were often compensating for a more sour part of their persona that they planned to reveal later down the road.

But being around Marigold was just so easy.

Talking to her was easy and befriending her was easy. Girls like her were like magnets— guys and girls both practically drooling at her feet at every given moment. It wasn’t a surprise she had everyone wrapped around her perfect, manicured finger. One of those that fell victim to her charms was the one and only Harry Styles.

Harry Styles was notorious on campus for jumping from girl to girl and bed to bed— a sex-driven man who no matter how many people he slept with in a month, was the star in every man and woman’s wet dream.

At one point, Y/N might have thought he was cute. The first time she saw him was at a party where he was (surprise surprise) pressed up against a pretty redhead, twirling her hair around his finger and whispering things in her ear. He was gorgeous; with green eyes that marbleized into hues of brown and golden, chocolate locks that swirled over his forehead and a tall, lean build littered in tattoos.

One had to be either blind or a liar to say he wasn’t attractive. And Y/N enjoyed ogling him for a while as well.

Until he began seeing Marigold.

Although she would attempt to listen with newfound enthusiasm every time Marigold had a new lover, once Harry came into the mix, things began getting more interesting. The most sought after boy on campus was seeing her best friend— the situation begged for a hot goss sesh.

Marigold set the scene for Y/N about how he approached her for the first time at a party, passed a number of compliments her way and kissed her after a couple of dances. His pretty mouth casted a spell on her, and she didn’t stop blabbering about how amazing and hot he was for the next week and a half, which was when Harry showed up at their dorm with a bouquet of flowers and asked Marigold to be his girlfriend.

No matter how off Harry’s aura made her feel, Y/N had to force herself to be happy for Marigold.

And she was for a while! In the beginning, things were looking up for the new couple.

Word was getting around the campus that Marigold had tied Harry down— the boy was ready to settle into a serious relationship with Y/N’s best friend. His commitment issues and inability to keep his dick in one place suddenly vanished.

And maybe it did for a month.. or two… and then when the third month rolled around… well, everyone sat silly with their foot in their mouth.

A sobbing and shaking Marigold slept in Y/N’s lap within less than six months of her seeing Harry.

“He told me he loved me, Y/N.”

“Does he not think I’m pretty?”

“Was I not enough for him?”

All these questions to which Y/N had no answer to but to stroke her friends back and reassure her of how perfect she was; that Harry was an idiot for cheating on her— that any man would be stupid to let someone like Marigold go.

Some new torture that Harry put Marigold through was revealed with every fat, salty drop that dribbled down her cheeks.

Marigold was quick to spill that not only did the boy cheat on her after claiming he was in love with her, but he was a toxic asshole who tried to control every single aspect of her life. Marigold had to dress how he liked, spoked only to people who he “approved” of, clean out her social media followings, and keep him updated of her whereabouts at all times.

The worst part was Y/N had no fucking clue her best friend was being put through this.

Harry had convinced (gaslit) Marigold into believing that everything he did was for the best of her and really, what good was she if Harry wasn’t by her side?

It was safe to say that after hearing Marigold shyly tell her about Harry’s “rules”, Y/N vowed to despise Harry for the rest of her life.

The mere sight of him ticked her off and she aided her best friend in getting over him by consistently reminding her of all the crap he put her through. Like just the fact that he treated her that way wasn’t enough and Marigold had to be reminded every time about exactly how he hurt her.

A semester passed; and then two.

Time really was the best medicine, as a year later Marigold slowly got over the cancer that was Harry and Y/N learned to live with her infinite hatred for the man.

Y/N avoided him like the plague— blocked him on all her social media and would say no to hang out with any mutual friends the two might have at the risk that she might see him.

And she was doing really well embarking on this little mission of hers— until she bumped into him 14 months later at a house party in celebration of the end of the semester.

She didn’t plan to be at the party right after her exams were finished, but there was something about the weekend following the end of semester which made her feel obligated to do something fun and exciting with her time. Y/N was brave enough to go to this one alone, forced to retire to this fate as Marigold had gone overseas the afternoon her last assignment was due.

That left Y/N lonesome in her dorm and an alone Y/N is a pesky Y/N; itching to do something to entertain her idle hands. So she messed around on her phone until she found an open invite to a party posted to a friend's story, didn’t bother checking the address to see who’s house it was, put on a skimpy outfit and left to get hammered— and if she was lucky, maybe even laid.

The outfit she wore was tiny and revealing. A two piece black top and mini skirt which showed off the majority of her legs. Anyone could tell that she aimed to get laid that night and the amount of people that tried to approach her on the little sofa she was tucked in to made her feel great about herself.

Things started to go south when she began turning most of them down with a sympathetic smile on her face if they crossed one of her boxes. It was a tendency of hers that was what often got in the middle of her getting fucked; she found hersef unable to not pick out the smallest details about someone and not get turned off immediately.

They stared at her legs too long? Ick. They’re wearing skin-tight jeans? Ick. They try to kiss her within five minutes of talking to her? Ick.

By the time she softly excused herself from the last guy who drunkenly attempted to slip his hand up her skirt, Y/N was feeling a little hopeless and extremely frustrated.

How hard was it just to get fucked by a semi-decent guy?

One more drink, Y/N decided, and she would just go home. She didn’t even have the energy to entertain herself at this point, ready to go to bed high and dry.

And she would’ve, had she not turned around to see a smug looking Harry staring at her. He didn’t bother to begin with a greeting, eyes settled on her chest and roaming her legs freely. The kink in Y/N’s eyebrows was immediate; she was ready to ignore his presence and walk right past him if he had not stopped her with his sultry baritone.

”Y’look hot as fuck.” A drink was hanging loosely between his fingers and much to Y/N’s misfortune, he looked amazing. His hair was messy and flopped over due to his fingers' constant interference and he wore a pair of loose jeans and a plain black t-shirt.

Too bad his comment made Y/N want to puke.

She gave him one chance and chose to ignore him and leave, but Harry had other plans as he stepped backwards when she stepped forwards, “don’t leave just yet. Promise, I don’t bite. Unless you’re into that.”

The little smirk on his face made Y/N’s skin crawl. She couldn’t stop the snarl that crept upon her features, “funny, seeing you here, I assumed you’d have your dick stuck in anything that resembled a hole by this time of night,” her voice was sharp and witty.

She might have thought the comment was too harsh but it didn’t seem like it struck Harry the way she wanted it to when the seam of his lips stretched even wider. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Harry stuffed a hand in his pocket and moved to stand right in front her so her back was facing the wall. They were in a fairly quiet room with a handful of people around them— somewhere Y/N retreated to when the party got a bit overbearing. “Fuck off, Harry. I don’t want to talk to you.”

”Come on, Y/N. Don’t hate me so much. We could have so much fun together,” he said slyly. Y/N crossed her arms over her chest.

“Hey, my eyes are up here, you dick. And don’t pretend like you don’t know why I hate you.” Harry feigned a look of confusion, “I don’t. Care to remind me?”

When he didn’t let up on the staring contest he was having with her boobs, Y/N dropped her arms in exasperation, “you were an ass to Marigold. You cheated on her when you told her you loved her.” She couldn’t believe he didn’t remember what he did; or maybe he did remember, and was being dense on purpose just to piss her off.

“Did I? Can’t recall.”

He took a step closer to her and Y/N’s chest began to rise and fall with anger, “stop acting like you don’t know what I’m talking about.” She had half the mind to shove him so his drink sloshed in his hands but she didn’t, tightening her fingers to prevent herself from making a scene in the middle of the party.

“Those are all things of the past. I’ve changed now,” Harry said.

Y/N scoffed. “Guys like you don’t change, Harry. You can lie and you can manipulate, but you will never ever change.”

She shoved her index finger in his chest, making him stumble back a little. This time her words made his eyebrows furrow, “who the fuck do you think you are, telling me what I can and cannot do?” Harry was close enough that she backed up into the wall, but she never let her stare falter even once.

“I hate you,” her voice was scarily stable, “I hate you and you’re a toxic, manipulative prick who hurt my best friend and can’t commit to anything for shit.”

Harry’s eyes darkened, “you don’t know anything about me,” he seethed, “so I suggest you and your prissy ass shut up before I say something you don’t want to hear.”

He was looking right into her own eyes, unwavering and intimidating. Y/N didn’t have any plans to back down anytime soon.

“There’s nothing you can say to hurt me. I’m not insecure like you.” She was pushing all of his buttons, and Harry wanted nothing more than to shut her mouth so she wasn’t running it like she owned the damn place.

“Y’know, It was always really obvious you were jealous I chose to fuck Marigold over you. She was way fucking hott—“

He didn’t finish the end of his sentence because Y/N shoved him away from her with all her might. “Don’t fucking finish that sentence and don’t ever talk to me again,” she hissed. Her face was warm and hot with anger, and she didn’t bother checking his reaction before she stormed out of the room and wiggled her way around the crowd to escape upstairs.

Her chest was heaving and if she let her walls down, her eyes would brim with tears. Thankfully she was able to find an empty room to the left of the long hallway which was tidy enough for her to seclude herself in. She shut the door and paced around the room.

Something about him just made her want to rip her own skin off. He knew just how to get on her nerves and what buttons to push to make her boil with anger, but she wasn’t going to let a dick like him get to her. he made that comment because he knew it was the only thing he could say to set her off. The fact that it did made Y/N feel stupid.

A couple minutes passed while she calmed herself down, and right when she felt like she was good enough to face the crowd and leave the party, the door opened.

Her shoulders dropped when she saw Harry walk in and shut the door behind himself to lock it. “I just told you I don’t want to ta—“

“—You started it downstairs. I was being nice—“

“— Is that your idea of nice, Harry? Staring at my tits and asking me why I won’t have fun with you?”

“I didn’t do anything wrong, I was being civil until you started fucking accusing me of shit out of nowhere!”

She scoffed. “Wow, I cannot believe you. I don’t know if you act this way on purpose or you really can’t tell what the fuck is wrong with your brain.”

“Can you have a normal conversation with me without insulting me for a single second?”

His voice was getting louder and he was right in front of her, staring down angrily at her annoyed face. She could tell his jaw was tense and the sight was almost hot which was even more annoying. “I don’t want to have any conversation with you. I think I have made that pretty fucking cle—“

“—Jesus, just shut up for a fucking second and listen to me,” he shouted.

“Make me.”

Y/N didn’t know why she said what she said and why she did what she did right after, when Harry curled his fingers around her throat and dragged her towards his mouth.

Their lips met in a harsh clash, smacking and bruising— confusing Y/N, because why is she not pulling away and why does he feel so good?

His fingers slipped into her hair when he bit her bottom lip hard, “hate this mouth,” he mumbled against her, shoving her waist so she was forced to walk back and hit the bed. He pecked her jaw then came back to her lips, “so bitchy.”

Harry’s words should have made her angry, but his lips had a certain effect on her that made her feel things she shouldn’t, because his comment went straight to her throbbing clit. She whimpered against his mouth. “You’re…” she breathed as he kissed down her neck, “…an asshole.”

Harry sunk his teeth into the base of her throat, “yeah?”

“Mmm. I hate you,” she responded. She was barely able to keep her eyes open when he finally pushed her on the bed and climbed on top of her. “I don’t think you do, baby. I think…” wet kisses were pressed down her neck and over the top of her chest, “… I think you just need to fuck me. S’that right? Need me to make that ache go away?”

It was like her ability to speak comprehensively was taken away from her when he reached around her back and pulled the zipper down for her top. “Now— fuck me now, Harry.”

He licked a stripe up from the middle of her chest to her chin, dipping into her mouth to kiss her hastily. He was sinful with the way he looped his tongue around hers and nipped at her lip, “I distinctly remember asking you to shut up.”

She was given no time to respond, gasping loudly when he took both of her tits in his hands and squeezed. There was no barrier since she didn’t need a bra for the top so he made immediate contact with her bare skin. His fingers were skillful as they played with the sensitive peaks of her nipples, pinching and tugging till she was a moany mess.

Y/N was unable to offer any response to him, arching her back into his touch when Harry pressed his lips to her buds repeatedly, pecking them affectionately, “think these are the only things I like about you.”

He bit the flesh of her tit lightly as a parting gift before trailing further down her body. Her scent was intoxicating him, more than any drink or drug he’d ever consumed. She was crowding his senses— all he could see, smell, touch and think about. Once he reached the hem of her skirt, he pulled his shirt off and grabbed her hips to pull her closer.

Y/N moaned when he ran his hands down her collarbones, her tits, her stomach and her navel, goosebumps following his trail as he travelled straight down to take her skirt off in one go.

The groan he let out the moment he saw her black lace thong was enough to make Y/N come on the spot. “Fuck me,” he sighed and tucked two fingers into the waistband. Before he pulled them off, he met Y/N’s eyes and waited for her to tell him it was okay. Once she nodded eagerly, Harry didn’t waste a second in ripping the fabric off of her hips.

“What the fuck, Ha—“

He shut up her protesting by shoving the lace into her mouth, muffling whatever curse she was about to spew his way. She furrowed her eyebrows upon feeling the fabric against her tongue. “Shh. That's better,” he sighed with his ringed fingers wrapped around her jugular, “you’re more bearable with your mouth shut.”

Y/N wanted to say something back to him but all she could do was crinkle her eyebrows and try to look angry. She complied and held the tattered lace in her mouth. If she wanted to get rid of it, she easily could— she’d only have to purse her lips and blow, but she chose not to; instead, she remained malleable and cooperative, not wanting to stray Harry away from what she wanted him to do, which was to fuck her brains out.

He didn’t give her a chance to say anything anyway, because as soon as the fabric was tucked between her lips, he skipped down to her pussy and immediately latched on to the swollen bud pearled between her folds.

She was wet beyond belief— slippery between her lips and trickling down onto the bed when he carefully sucked on her clit in rhythmic pulses. The underwear in her mouth was her biggest enemy as her back arched and her throat begged to cry out loud because of the pleasure coursing through her veins. She could feel it all the way in her fingertips when he tucked her lips apart and cooed at her clenching hole.

“I take it back. Your tits and your pussy are the only things I like about you,” such words would normally make Y/N want to slap a man, but Harry had the opposite effect, “s’very pretty,” he mumbled, kissing her clit softly.

He licked her with the broad of his tongue once, twice, and the third time was longer, more thorough as he slowly made his way all the way from her hole to her clit, flicking his tongue against the bud until she was shaking.

Her hips lifted off the bed, chasing Harry’s mouth and her own high which she reached quickly thanks to his noisy suckles and sloppy kisses. He tried to drag her orgasm on as much as he could, pushing himself nose-deep into her pussy. What got her hot was the sounds he was making against her— grunting and moaning into her until she folded her legs and pressed her knees together, forcing him to stop.

A smack resounded around the room when he collided his palm with her outer thigh, making Y/N jump. The sensation tethered on the edge of pain and pleasure, just as Y/N liked it.

Harry sat back on his heels, “I want you on all fours with your ass up.”

Y/N blinked at Harry, unmoving. Her orgasm had made her brain go all fuzzy. “Cmon, get,” he commanded, slapping her leg again. Her thoughts had turned to mush, wanting to do what Harry said but she remained lying on her back, eyes fluttering shut.

“For fucks sake.”

A yelp was muffled by the lace tucked between her teeth when Harry grabbed her hips and physically turned her over, palms rough as they slapped her knees apart and forced her into an arch, “have to do everything for you now, do I? Are you fucked dumb already?”

Harry wasn’t expecting an answer and Y/N couldn’t find it in herself to give him one, instead revelling in the burn in her body when he stretched her out as he pleased. She could hear the sound of him undoing his zipper and pulling his jeans down, a little bummed she couldn’t see him in all his naked glory; but the thought left her brain as soon as she felt him press his tip against her clit and take a fistful of her hair from behind.

“If only you weren’t such a bitch, I’d fuck this little pussy every night of the week,” Harry muttered as he slicked his cock with her juices, teasing her hole and her clit. Y/N shifted her hips back for some friction but his grip was unyielding, holding onto her side with one hand and pushing her face into the sheets with the other. She couldn’t retort even if she wanted to.

“Fu—mm… pl—mph!”

Her desperation was rudely cut off as he delivered a sharp smack to her ass and slid into her at the same time. Harry didn’t bother going slow or giving her time to adjust, making it fit inside of her despite her walls pulsing around him.

His hips were snug against her ass. She could feel him everywhere.

Prodding into her tummy and trickling down to her toes— she was shaking with how good he felt pressed just against her g-spot. He delivered fast, deep thrusts over and over and over again, hard and unrelenting. Her scalp stung with how he held her against the mattress, though Y/N didn’t mind the pain; if she could even call it that.

The feeling was delicious, especially paired with the occasional slap to her ass. “So fucking wet,” Harry stated the fact, cramming himself into her so she could feel him even deeper.

He didn’t let up on his thrusts. His one hand that was on her hips gripped her skin harshly like he was using her as leverage to fuck her harder. Y/N’s fingers grabbed uselessly at the sheets below her with her eyes squeezed shut and teeth clamping around her panties.

Her throat scraped out another loud cry, after which his thrusts eventually slowed to a delicious pace. He was stimulating her g-spot directly as he leaned over her to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You alright?” He questioned, scratching his nails lightly against her lower back. Her heart fluttered. She couldn’t respond with the panties in her mouth so she offered him a nod to which he pressed a kiss to her cheek and returned to his previous position.

He was still very much inside of her during the sweet exchanged, and it was like a flip was switched when he returned to fucking her properly.

The sounds of her muffled whines and his deep groans did something to Y/N— it was all too much. Matters only got worse for her as his fingers met her clit, circling the bud while his other hand left her hair and slid down her back.

Y/N could finally twist her neck and look at him, and the sight was enough to have her screaming.

He was kneeling behind her, hands occupied with pleasuring her and his hair was falling all over his forehead and into his eyes. With furrowed eyebrows and a hung open mouth, he urged Y/N towards her second orgasm of the night.

“Come for me, baby. Give it to me, s’all I want.”

She was writhing in his grasp, grinding her hips back as she came around his cock. The fabric he gagged her with barely covered the sounds of her moans, the sight making Harry speed up his pace. “Fuck, you’re so fucking hot.”

The pleasure that overtook her was blinding— like lightning bolts that struck her nerves. His constant attention against her clit and g-spot had Y/N speechless and dumb, pulling the panties out of her mouth and reaching a hand back to meet him on her hip.

“Please, please, please.” She moaned, unsure of what she was begging him for.

Harry slipped out of her shortly after that and tugged his cock between his ringed fist. Y/N was ready to go again when she saw him coming— hot, white spurts of come painting her back as he tipped his head back and groaned. “Jesus—fuck, you’re so good, baby,” he whimpered.

Once he was done, he slumped over her perched ass, feeling exhaustion creep upon his bones. A minute passed as both of them tried to catch their breaths, eyes meeting and exchanging words unsaid. Y/N dropped her hips to relax her back from its arched position.

They were dragged out of their sweet reverie when someone banged on the door. Both of them jumped at the sudden interruption, “occupied!” Harry yelled out.

“This is my fucking room!”

Harry rolled his eyes as he patted Y/N’s hip, “y’good? C’mon, we have to clean up before that dick out there has a heart attack.” Y/N was too stunned to laugh at his joke, the reality of the situation seeping into her skin. She watched Harry get dressed and then get a wipe from the bathroom to clean her back.

He passed her her clothes when he was done and turned around while she dressed up— still in shock. “Um…” she started, unknowing where she was trying to lead this conversation, “we shouldn’t have done that.”

He only shrugged, “don’t know what you mean. It was just sex.”

“I know it was just sex, but you’re my best friends ex, Harry, we sho—“

“Well, you should have thought of that before you begged me to put my dick inside of you.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes at his stupid, cocky face, “fuck you.”

“Y’already did,” Harry smirked. He walked over to where she was by the bed and pulled her in for another short kiss.

Y/N didn’t fight it when he tucked her bottom lip between his and suckled softly before pulling away.

“S’fine, baby. No one has to know, and I promise I won’t tell. Cross my heart,” a silly smile played on his lips, fingers tucking her hair behind her ear. He kissed her once more. “Now let's go.”

Whilst she was getting ready to leave the room, her phone pinged on the bedside table where she set it down when she first walked in. The notification made her freeze in her spot.

Marigold ⭐️

how was the party?? meet anyone to take home yet??

Her heart skipped a beat reading over the message.

Before she could respond, Harry disrupted her internal battle, “Y/N? Are you coming or not?” She hummed out a yes and shut her phone. She didn’t have the energy to respond to Marigold right now— she needed a well constructed lie which would take a while to develop in her current fucked-out state.

Until then she’d have to live with the fact that she fucked the one man she claimed to hate for the rest of her life. The thought was enough to make her skin crawl— eating her alive until she was a mess of pitiful skin and bones.

Y/N felt like she would never be able to forgive herself. Not only did she break a promise she so readily made to herself, but she betrayed her best friend who trusted her to no end.

As she stood there in the aftermath, she knew she'd just shattered something that could never be fixed, no matter how hard she tried.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Taglist: @adoredeanna @babegoalsreads

HIII SORRY THIS IS SO LONG LOL I KNOW I SAID ITD BE SHORT BUT I COULDNT HELP IT HEHE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS ONE!! if u want me to do more one shots send in ur ideas!! dont be shy!! and I DIDNT KNOW IF THE PPL WHO ASKED TO BE ON MY TAGLIST MEANT IT FOR A SERIES OR JUST IN GENERAL BUT PLS LET ME KNOW IF U WANT TO BE TAGGED AND IF SO WHETHER IT IS FOR A SERIES OR JUST GENERAL OK I WILL SHUT UP NOW LOVE YOU!! like reblog comment reply yada yada!! MWUAH 💞

[angelplummie]

here for revenge.

being lily's best friend - you grow up with her - you're in the donaldsons orbit for all your formative years. you develop a crush on art that turns into love as you grow older. your home life isn't so glamorous. you spend lots of weekends at the donaldsons. art has tucked you in. brought you snacks when you stayed up late for movie nights, making you and lily promise not to tell tashi. you were there when art and tashi got divored, held lilys hand and pretended not to be happy inside at the thought of getting closer to art.

lily gets into college - a big smart one because she has tashi's ambition and leaves you behind, you're still stuck at home because your dreams have always been smaller.

maybe its not appropriate, to still spend time with art. but he's lonely. tashi left, and now his daughter has and you're the only one left in his life that actually wants to be around him, that has always looked at him with stars in your eyes. its probably not healthy. there should be a boundary there. your lilies, not his.

but you like being around him and he likes having someone to take care of. you come over and he makes you eat something healthy and you needle him about spending all his time at home and how he should get out more, and he rolls his eyes, tells you he should be saying the same to you, you're young and beautiful and you should be dating around.

but how can you date around when art donaldson is your dream man? when you're happiest at his side, eating what he makes you. you want more though. you want to share his bed, warm it for him, you want to make him not so lonely, you want him to stop seeing you as a little girl and as the adult you've grown up to be - so you start wearing less and less around him. start acting more and more like a housewife.

art accepts it without even realizing. now you just need to find the right opportunity to pounce.

WHEW. this one is long so buckle up

“art?”

“mr donaldson.”

you roll your eyes.

“mr donaldson, how come you never started dating again?”

he chopped the lemon with a deft clunk, eyes never leaving the knife.

“never felt the urge.”

“what does that mean?”

“what i just said. never felt the need to.”

“hm.”

you sat on the island, next to the chopping board. your legs swung haphazardly, and you watched art as he chopped.

why was he playing this game? he could’ve told you to leave, to stop coming back and bothering him, that this was inappropriate. and yet. he didn’t even tell you to get your sorry butt off the counter, or some such dad-ism. the low glow of the many warm lamps that adorned such a luxurious house illuminated art so softly, he looked as young as the day lily was born. he was as fit as back then, if not meatier. he didn’t have the pouch your dad had, but the years had given him a thickness. instead of wasting away like most lean men did, he struggled to the other side. he got broader. layer upon layer of muscle encased in a thin finishing of fat. he was skinnier when you were a kid, but he had no reason to be lean now. under his chin a tiny hammock of pudge rested as his head tilted down, kissed by light stubble. his blonde hair was streaked in silver, but that somehow made him younger looking. made him glow. he had grown it out, by your suggestion. he was everything in the world a man should be.

“what about you?”

“i hate boys. they’re all stupid.”

“you got that right. you’re too good for all of them, never settle.”

“maybe it’s just boys my own age. theyre so immature.”

arts wide chest heaves. his eyes flick to you then flick back down. you see it all, and cross one leg over the other.

“maybe.”

“what were you like when you were my age?”

he laughs at the memory.

“stupid, immature, evil. if i was anything to go by you should swear off men entirely until menopause.”

air left your chest cavity.

“i don’t wanna wait. i want a fully formed one.”

you watched the muscles in arts forearms flex as he squeezed the lemon onto salad. the main course was cooking, was singing loudly on the stove. art had gotten into cooking after the divorce. it took all his attention and put it in one place, something complex and delicate and time consuming. it helped to clear his head. it wasn’t helping right this second.

“i shouldn’t say that,” he said curtly,”boys your age aren’t so bad. give them a go and quit hanging out with an old man.”

“but i like you, old man.”

art was so harsh on himself. he really wasn’t that old. and you really weren’t that young.

he pressed his lips together and kept squeezing. his pink lips, that gave his face the everlasting youth it held. he shrugged his shoulders in that way he did when he was confronted with the truth of your arrangement. there was something going on. something very, very, very wrong. you were the same age as his daughter. 3 months younger. he was the worst man in the world. the worst person to ever breathe. what could he do though? tell you to go? tell you to leave his house and never come back? what would become of you then? without him, what pillar of paternity would you rely upon? what new low would you reach? what men would you come across, and what would you do to please them? while he gingerly entertained you, you dangled something in front of his face that others would not have the restraint or morality to resist. if you had to move to another target, your next victim might not care so deeply for your wellbeing. were you not altogether safer, sitting in his kitchen, eating his caesar salad, rather than inhaling second hand cigarettes from old wrinkled fucks who might murder you, or worse-

“art?”

“mr donaldson.”

“you got a bunch of lemon pips in the salad.”

“oh.”

he set down the lemon.

“are you ok? you seem tense.”

“i’m good. are you cold? i can turn on the heating if you like.”

“no. it’s actually quite warm in here.”

he hears the zip of your hoodie and starts away from the island, under the pretence of getting a paper towel to deposit the lemon seeds on. your jumper clatters to the counter, and you watch his adam’s apple bob as he swallows. low cut top. he knows that’s what you’re wearing. because that’s all it’s been for the past 2 months. your mini skirt flowers around you as you sit, but when you stand each swish and sway of the fabric is a death sentence. god forbid you take the stairs for some ungodly reason.

“hey, you know what you said about never having the urge?”

oh, fuck off, he thought. fuck off. leave him be. leave him alone. release him.

“yes.”

“you can’t really mean that can you?”

“sure i can.”

“i mean, you can. but i don’t think you do.”

you twirled a strand of hair in between your fingers. your stomach grumbled, loud enough that he could hear. you were so hungry you could die, but if you ate what art was frying your breath would smell like fish all night.

“let me check the salmon.”

“i’m not that hungry. you can’t mean that you never had the urge to. everyone has urges.”

“well sure. but after tashi, i needed a breather. a grace period, if you will. you can’t go from marriage with a woman like her right into dating.”

“but it’s been 3 years. you must be over it by now?”

he ignored the hope in your voice. ignore, ignore, ignore.

“i am over it. but. women scare me.”

he walked languidly over the salmon. it was ready.

“i don’t scare you, i’m a woman.”

a woman. he turned off the stove, and turned to fix you with a stare for the first time tonight. a woman. that was not the word he would use to describe you. your eyes were the size of saucers, and you bat your lashes languidly, like you knew how much you were making him suffer. you sat up pin straight, and twisted your spine to make eye contact with him. your body. he tried not to look. tried not to look in front of you and see the twisted grin come across your lips. but he was a weak man. the weakest of men, and his eyes dragged over where a fatherly view should never cross. your perky new tits, the press and curve of your ass against the counter, the plush of your thighs. it seemed you had grown up overnight, and didn’t know you were still a baby. you’re a baby. you knew what you were doing to him. you knew. he blushed involuntarily.

“you scare me most of all.”

his voice trembled. he hadn’t meant to say that. hadn’t meant to dignify you will any response at all. it had crossed his mind and then it crossed his lips.

your eyes lit up with extreme delight. he liked to make you happy, but his stomach churned with the thought of why.

“why?”

he turned back around, and plated up your salmon, adding potatos and asparagus from the same pan, drizzling it all in the residual oil.

“why art?”

“mr donaldson.”

a twinge of irritation tickles your stomach. what was he fighting this for? you’re all grown up now. you both knew what was going to happen. he was resisting fate, the inevitable.

all your life you had known he was the man you were meant to be with. from that first time he kissed your forehead as you dozed off on the couch, thinking you were asleep. when his strong arms would carry both you and his daughter, flinging you around, threatening to dunk you in their backyard pool. when he would catch your eye in the rear view mirror as he drove you around and winked. he was so nice. so nice and brave and kind and warm, and if you had to be with any man it should be him because you’ve loved him since you were 8, and now you’re old enough to claim it. you’re not just a dumb kid with a crush. you love him. you understand it being one sided back then. but it isn’t anymore, and you wouldn’t let him deny it. with gliding footsteps you approached him, drawing closer every second he didn’t turn around. a hand rests on his shoulder blade.

“just stop,” you breathed after a pause.

his spatula clattered to the pan with a metallic thunk. you pull your hand away like he burnt you. he gripped the counter with a sigh and hung his head.

“you stop. stop it now,” his voice was stern. you felt yourself shrink. art was never stern.

“i know what you’re thinking, and it’s not going to happen. this has gone on far too long and it stops right now.”

a mere few paces from his wide curved back, you blink. the urge to touch him is overwhelming. you want to press your hand to his back, feel him under your palm and tell him you know he wants this. you know he wants this just as bad as you do.

but you don’t, because he’s angry at you, and he’s never been angry at you before.

“i’ve let you come here and cooked you food and watched movies with you because you’re a good kid. because i knew you as a kid and i know your problems with your father and i wanted to be there for you when lily is away. but you have taken this too far. you’re my daughters best friend. i have cleaned up your vomit twice, i baked you a cake for your 13th birthday- it’s not right. i’ve tried to be understanding, i’ve tried to ignore it, but you never drop it. never. your lack of self respect is staggering. you have to drop it right now or, im sorry but you can’t come back here anymore.”

every muscle fibre was clenched. if the counter top wasn’t marble it would’ve crunch and fell away under his grip. he couldn’t take it anymore. he didn’t know how much longer he could be good. didn’t know how much longer he could take resisting you.

maybe he was harsh. but it was the right thing to do. the only thing to do. he rested his elbow on the counter, and between his forefinger and his thumb held the bridge of his nose. he exhaled loudly. he hadn’t meant for it to come out that way, hadn’t planned it. but now it was out. he had stared the elephant in the room dead in its eyes. he felt lighter, somewhat liberated.

until he turned around after a few too many seconds of silence to see you turned away from him, slightly hunched over. he stepped closer, and saw your hands covering your mouth. you body jolted, and you drew in quick, grasping breaths. you were crying. he said your name, and you didn’t turn to look at him.

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry mr donaldson.”

all the relief he felt was replaced by swift, acute, crushing guilt. your hair fell over your face, shielding you from him. he said your name once more. you sniffed.

“hey, hey hey hey.”

against his better judgement, and because of the aching of his heart, he took you gently by the shoulders, and turned you to face him.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.”

tears spill from your eyes and you wipe them away with a heavy hand, refusing to meet his eyes. his neck craned down to your eye level, his thumbs began tracing circle in your shoulders. a thoughtless gesture but one that made you cry even harder.

“i’m sorry. i don’t know what i was thinking. im just so sorry.”

“hey, it’s ok. it’s alright.”

“it’s not alright. i’ve ruined everything. i’ve made it- so- weird. i just thought that you- you wanted me. i’m so stupid.”

your mascara runs, painting your face with your turmoil.

how could you be so dense? you had been making him uncomfortable. he didn’t want you. the only reason he even let you hang around was obligation. because of what you meant to lily. you didn’t mean anything to him. you were just some kid. did he even think you’re pretty? you bet he didn’t.

worse than that, you had disappointed him. him. he was supposed to be everything your dad wasn’t. and now he was disappointed. you had failed. you had ruined everything. what even were you? were you even human?

“don’t. you’re not stupid. don’t say that.”

“i’m sorry. i just- i wanted to make you happy. that’s all i ever wanted. i wanted you to be happy with me. you were so- so- so crushed after the divorce, i-i just-“

he guides you over to the bar stool, and you let him. you sit across from each other. his hand touches your cheek, the other holds you shoulder still. the touch of his hand quietens your babbling, your eyes round and wet and open.

“you do make me happy.”

your lips parted, plump with crying.

“i do?”

he cringes at the hope in your voice, at the feeling in his chest that it stirs. the feeling in his whole body at touching, after so many years, your soft skin. the last time he held your face you were 8, crying over a bumped knee. he had very different feelings now than he did then. sympathy and concern had ebbed, making way for much darker, much more corrosive emotions. he felt guilt and want broil in the chambers of his stomach, and the evilness inside him told him how easy to would be to get what he wanted. how close he was.

“yes. you’re my favourite buddy, we have a great time together,” he ruffled your shoulder like you pat a dog, speaking quick to placate you.

the hope in your eyes dwindled.

“so,” you sniffled, “you don’t feel anything for me? you don’t-don’t want me at all?”

with your convulsive sobbing your chest rose and fell, and with each jolt you spilled further out of your thread bare top. he closed his eyes, and swallowed, adam’s apple bobbing. inhaling deeply, his fingers released your shoulder.

“it doesn’t matter what i want.”

“yes it does, it matters the most,” you answer immediately, tears gone from your eyes, now sliding down from your water line and down your cheek, “what do you want?”

what does art want? when was the last time he asked himself that question? years. at least. he drew away from you. you felt sick.

he turned on the stool, ducking his head and cradling his face in his hands

“i want…”

what the fuck was he saying? he couldn’t say this to you. he couldn’t. but he was.

“i… you’re a very gorgeous girl. you’re sweet. you’re smart. you’re funny. i like you very much.”

he said it like he was confessing to murder. elbow resting on his knee, his hand covered his eyes with splayed fingers. god, he was going to hell for this. even saying the words felt like the deepest sin imaginable, and he was sanitising his truth extensively. what he thought about at night, when you went home and his house became cold again, when he got into the shower and mechanically relieved himself into the drain, that was truly deplorable. when he touched himself, it was you he thought of. invariably. everything a man could possibly do to a girl, everything a girl could possibly do to a man, he had laid up in his bed and touched himself to with you in mind. ropes and ropes and ropes of cum in your honour, so gently splattered on shower walls and bedsheets he needed to wash anyway. sometimes he came on his torso, just to feel young and frivolous, like you were. and when he did his brain would turn back on, and he would feel so guilty that he would lay there to soak up his guilt, a punishment for himself from himself. so yes. he wanted you. he wanted you very, very badly. with every fibre of his being, he craved you. and with every fibre of his soul, he hated himself for it. but apparently he was still talking. what his morality urged him his mouth couldn’t hear, or wouldn’t obey.

“so don’t think you’re delusional. you had every reason to think i might reciprocate.”

you watched him, glossy eyes wide as ever. he peeked from beneath his fingers, immediately covering his eyes again when he saw you watch him. he shouldn’t have said that. he shouldn’t have. that was bad, it’s only giving you hope, and there is no hope. he can’t, he can’t. he want to so badly but he can’t. god, no he can’t. it would be so easy but easy isn’t right and how could he ever look his daughter in the eyes again if he did? how could he look at tashi?

“mr donaldson?”

“mm,” he replied miserably.

“kiss me.”

slowly, exhausted, he lifted up his head. mistake. now he was thinking about it as he looked at your face, puffy and damp and shining like a star.

why did he look so disgusted? what was so wrong with you? you couldn’t stop yourself from barreling ahead, feeling his premature rejection like a rock in your stomach.

“just once. then i’ll leave and i’ll never bother you and you won’t see me anymore and i’ll go to church and ill get a therapist, but just once.”

he looks so tired. so tired and so fucking good. his eyes smouldered with deep thought, the thought only a mature man can have. he was so mature. he was so much larger than you. he could hurt you if he wanted to. he could make you do anything but all he did was look at you so tired it made you squirm inside. as your sobs died in your throat, regret and embarrassment become indistinguishable from desire.

he blinked slowly, and opened his mouth. the white of his teeth glittered. his tongue pawed the inside of his cheek. he was thinking about it.

how could he be thinking about it? he was the worst person in the world. and yet. and yet. one kiss. he could control it with one kiss. one kiss wouldn’t hurt. one kiss. he had kissed your head before. your cheek. what was so different about this?

wordlessly, he moved off the stool. heart in your mouth you waited. a tremulous breath shuddered from your chest as he took one step. two steps. three steps. until he was stood above you. his face was unreadable. not cold. not warm. just looking, appraising from above his brown lower lashes, down his strong kissable nose.

“one kiss?”

his hand rose slowly, palm facing upwards. his finger tips grazed your jaw, your chin, tilting your head up. fireworks burst in your stomach, and you resisted the urge to moan.

“one. that’s all.”

one. that would be all. one kiss and he would put this silly fascination away for good. a kiss is deniable. a kiss is nothing.

he stoops down, can feel the nerves vibrating from your skin. his head tilts slightly, and your eyes lock as he descends to your level. his hand moves into your hair, a combing hold. and you kiss. no tongue. your lips connect, mush and expand over the others. his nose touched your cheek. your arms remained stiff by your side as they gripped the stool. you felt the pinkness of his lips, felt the edge of his cupids bow. and then he pulled away.

there. one kiss. he had done what he had to to get you to drop it. had fulfilled your criteria, and now you could move on. now he could move on.

but if that was true, why was he leaning in again? why did almost tasting your saliva, a substance he had thought about in great detail, make him hungrier for it? why was almost having it worse than never coming close? why did he pull gently on your hair, making your head tip back, opening you mouth so he could kiss the part of you he craved; the inside part? why was he hard if it was over?

his tongue flicked gently inside, asking permission. your mouths closed together, making the kiss noise you hate hearing but love making. they open quickly and in sequence. your hands rise up to gently hover over his chest, barely grazing his shirt. you didn’t want to touch him too hard in case he dissipated into a cloud of smoke, an illusion.

but he was very real, and under your timid girlish touch he was undone. a soft exhalation like a groan into your mouth, and his tongue protruded. it touched yours and you tasted the salt on it, shivering. his other hand fell back to your shoulder, gripping so hard it was like had no idea what he was doing. feeling your mouth against his was all that there was. there wasn’t right, there wasn’t wrong, there was only sensation.

all the want he had saved for solitary and depressing masturbation now burst through his veins, into his actions and he kissed you with all the passion in him. with everything he’s never said, with all the times he held back with you, with tashi. he kissed you like if he didn’t he would die, breathing and groaning and grunting involuntarily. he mashed his face to yours, crushing your lips, taking your bottom lip between his teeth before recapturing your mouth in a sloppy open mouthed kiss. it felt like steam evaporated from where your met, so hot and wet.

you didn’t know what was your and what was art, where you finished and art began. you meshed like the broken pieces of a vase slotted against each other. his tongue became so wild it clipped the side of your mouth in its frantic exploration, and you sighed.

ultimately it was you who had to pull away. you pulled your hands into your own chest, gasping for breath. he didn’t move an inch. he gripped your shoulder still, cradled your face the same. he opened his eyes, chest rising and falling graciously.

he surveyed you, still too high from your touch to feel guilt, with lazy eyes. he was so fucked. your eyes sparkled like glitter. your lips shined pearly with his spit. his.

“art?”

“yes?”

“it’s not just one kiss is it?”

despite himself, despite everything, he smiled.

“no. i don’t think it is.”

[madelynraemunson]

NEED…MORE…EX-HUSBAND!EDDIE…I AM FERAL AND FOAMING AT THE MOUTH PLEASE BLESS US MORE I’M BEGGING

IT’S ANGST O’CLOCK!!!

𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (𝐬𝐨 𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠)

ex husband! eddie x fem!reader

“all that still matters is ‘love ever after’ — after the life we’ve been through” — life after you // daughtry

WC: ~950 words

3AM. The witching hour.

The air smells of twilight musk and marinating dew. It's pitch black all around you, the nearest gas station being an agonizing 1.3 miles away. You're also 10 miles from Hawkins, pulled over in nothing but platform heels, a black mini dress, and expired pepper spray in your purse. To make matters worse, the only friends up who seem to be up at this hour are hungry bears and obnoxious, chirping crickets. And skinwalkers if you're where you think you are.

A horrible ending to a girls night out. Just what you needed.

Alone and afraid, you decide to call the number one person on speed dial, whose gradual distaste towards you renders itself very evident from the moment he answers the phone.

"What?! I'm trying to sleep."

"Eds." you whimper into the phone. "I need you."

There's a long pause in response to your petrified sobs, followed by the clicking noise of a phone keyboard before you hear cursing and the frantic ruffling of sheets.

"I’ll be there."

"Well?"

You watch as Eddie crinkles his forehead in concentration, examining your car while his soot-tainted hands explore every crevice of your hood. Routine maintenance has never been as issue because you've always had a personal mechanic at your feet. But since the divorce, you've gotten pretty bad about it. Otherwise, the you and Eddie wouldn't be stuck in this situation. Obviously.

"Weeelp." Eddie sighs, stretching out every bit of the syllable. He slams the hood shut. "She's just about blown out. You're lucky that thing didn't overheat too much with you in it."

You've prided yourself in not needing a man to change your tires, wiper fluid, OR oil nowadays. But in the midst of your journey towards self love and independence, you somehow forgot that your car could also overheat.

"Oh..”

You try not to watch intently as Eddie cleans his hands off with his hanky, the one he keeps neatly tucked into the back pocket of his flattering dark, denim jeans. Your eyes then trail towards his leather jacket, which housed his broad shoulders and delicious waist so nicely, you would've thought it had been tailored just for him. And you could just about fall right into him when he angles his torso towards you, his sculpted jawline glistening in the moonlight — but nearly not as glistening as those gorgeous chocolate eyes, the ones he used to his advantage during your marriage to get you to forgive him for whatever mistake he seemed to make that week. Before you could fawn any further, Eddie snaps you back to reality.

"When was the last time you put some coolant in this thing?"

"Some what?"

"You keep Prestone at the house?" Eddie pesters. "Antifreeze? Peak?"

Cheeks reddening, you shake your head. "No.”

"You get this thing examined often?"

“Not unless you do it," is what you shamefully admit. “For the most part…”

Eddie's face scrunches out of frustration. He knew this would happen.

"God, I hate when you do shit like this," he snaps. "For all I know your engine light could've been on for weeks."

"But it wasn't." you mutter softly. You're already scared. This is the last thing you need.

"You know your car in particular needs to be serviced every half year?" Eddie mutters. "Oil changes, tire rotations. Your break pads have also seen better days. Which is concerning."

"Ok.”

"And how many times do I have to say you gotta pay attention to this fucking radiator?!" Eddie hisses, slapping at the hood again with his open palm. You shudder at the loud *THUNK* noise that echoes across the woods. "We wouldn't be out here in 3AM if you had just taken proactive measures.”

"Stop YELLING at me!" you whine, a piece of your inner child spewing outwards to combat Eddie's belligerent word vomit.

"I'm not yelling." Eddie firmly insists.

He turns his back to you and starts towards your car again.

"Yes, you are, you always do." you croak miserably, balling your fists up in frustration. “You always do Eddie, and I'm sick of it! You always want to be right, and you always kick me when I'm already down to-"

“Okay, okay, okay." Eddie hushes you. He runs a frantic hand through his hair. "Agh, fuck, okay — I’m sorry.”

He looks at you with guilty, glimmering eyes as you shift your body away from him. Guarded, tense. Closing up all access of you towards him because he lost those rights a long time ago. Muttering to himself now, Eddie scrapes at the pebbles beneath his feet, fiddling with the chain of his wallet before he dares to speak to you again.

"I just worry about you a lot."

You peer back over at him. "Deadass?"

He snorts. "Well yeah."

With your permission Eddie stalks closer to you.

"I don't want to wake up to a phone call talking about my wife's car bursting into flames — with her inside." He rolls his eyes. “All because she hasn't been maintaining her shit.”

"I have been," you fib just a bit, though most of it rings true. just forgot to iron out some little details."

Eddie relaxes his shoulders.

"I know," he surrenders. “I guess there's a part of me that secretly hopes you'll still need me somehow. Some way, or another."

"I'll always need your presence," you reassure him.

Your ex husband softens up. He always thought that during your separation you had found another Superman to save the day. Some other handsome devil to fix your car and maintain all the leaky faucets inside your once shared home. But as you've always insisted, nobody has your back like Eddie. Your very own George Reeves. At your disposal for you and you only.

He suddenly wraps his arms around you, and as you predicted you ease right into him, the comfort and familiarity of Eddie melting away any ounce of hostility you guys have ever harbored against each other. You both have your days, but the love you two have for each other has always remained the same. Just changed form, is all.

"I'm glad you're okay," is all he says.

'I'm glad you're here," you sniff. "Always playing hero, per usual..."

"Well for you, always."

He plants a gentle kiss on top of your forehead as you two sway around in unison. You hum to showcase your endearment.

And he'd do it again.

———

🏷️ tagging peeps who seemed interested in this lil universe 🫶🏼✨ thank you guys for reading :)

@highinmiamiii @potatobeans99 @mediocredreams @joshlmbrt @eddiesxangel @enam3l @mmunson86 @davidblowies-blog @thatissonnina @oskea93 @aurora-austen @lesservillain @madeofmunson @xxbimbobunnyxx @eddiesghxst @munsonssweets @nailbatanddungeon @swiss-mrs @winchester-angel @belokhvostikova @curlyjoequinn @strangereads @marrowfrog00 @shadyunknowncreation @tuolcaniacoc @catherinnn @prestinalove @pleuviors @cinemabean @calumfmu @littlexdeaths

[nymphiria]

♱ : 𝐈’𝐕𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐃… — SUNDAY!

fem!reader, fluff, in love with sunday’s wings, he’s a little floofy, possessive sunday if you squint, i wanna bite him :), definitely didn’t proofread but i came out of the woodworks for this man

there’s something that you’d noticed about 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘 that for some reason you hadn’t before. it wasn’t the way that he preened himself in the mirror before a meeting, nor was it how he pinched the bridge of his nose whenever an issue was placed upon his desk. the oak family head was pristine — every detail on and of his person was hard to miss. so, how is it that you never took note of it before?

the new dress that you purchased from a boutique in golden hour was simply gorgeous. the ornamentation that decorated the silky garment glimmered under the glow of your bedroom lights. as you admired yourself in the mirror, the soft click of the bedroom door alerted you to your lover’s arrival. you giddily ran into the bathroom before he had the chance to see you.

“dearest?”, he called, brows furrowed at the thought of where you might be. with your voice muffled from behind the door, you answered, “in here!”

moments later, you opened the door and twirled to show off all of the lace and pearls that you were dreaming about wearing for weeks on end. it took an enormous amount of effort to hide such a purchase but you felt that the wait would be worth it. if one thing about sunday was true, it was that he adored seeing you all dolled up — especially for him.

truly, in sunday’s eyes, you looked like the most divine creation that would ever grace the universe with its presence. he wanted every facet of you — body, mind, and soul. part of him wanted to drop to his knees and thank his god for blessing him with your existence, though the other felt a twinge of embarrassment for his internal thoughts. stunned in both shock and revelry, his face only portrayed minimal expression besides his now open mouth and wide eyes.

for a moment, you couldn’t help but feel that he was …disappointed in what he saw. was your dress not pretty enough? did it not suit your body as much as you thought it did? perhaps he felt it was unwise to spend as much money as you did on something as unnecessary as a new dress. before the feelings of doubt could sink its way in, the wings adorning your lover’s head flapped once, then twice — fluffy feathers puffing out and making him look even softer.

“d-did your,” you stuttered in surprise. “did they just…“ the seemingly stoic look on sunday’s face was quickly replaced by a deep flush from his cheeks to his neck. the halovian’s wings desperately attempted to cover his blushing face but did little to help ease his embarrassment.

looking back, you can distantly recall hearing the quiet flutter of feathers the first time you kissed your lover on the cheek. his expression then did little to betray how flustered he truly was on the inside. he remained as poised as he always did only with a light pink dusting his cheeks. just how many times were you oblivious to the sight?

a wide smile spread across your face as moved towards your lover to stroke through his hair. “so,” your hand moved to play with his feathers. “i’m assuming you like the dress, then?”

“of course i do,” he looked away from your playful gaze. “you always look stunning in everything you put on.”

you giggled, “well then, mr. sunday, why have i not seen your wings jump at anything else i wear? you almost flew away when you saw this dress.”

sunday gently removed the hand that was stroking his hair to cup the warmth of his cheek, “simply put…”

“it would be rather improper to show just how weak you make me.”

[allllium]

Hi! I have a Jason Todd x reader request if you’re still looking for those! A little angst, a little hurt/ comfort, a little protective Jason Todd.

Soulmate AU where soulmates can feel each others feelings. Jason is on patrol and reader is at their shared apartment when someone breaks in. Jason is not nearby so he feels a lot of feelings while he frantically tries to get home. Reader may get injured but they aren’t helpless, they fight back.

Thank you!!!

Break In

~ I hope this is what you were expecting, this was so cute to me <3

~ WC: 885 [Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort]

- Things go wrong while he's on patrol

Jason is a man that loves with his whole heart. He falls hard but it takes a long time. Once you win him over, he's yours. Growing up the way he did Jason didn't think he'd ever meet his soulmate, not the way Dick and Tim did. As terrible as it is he always assumed you were dead - he never felt that overwhelming feeling of someone else's emotions that people had explained to him all his life. Not until he died.

No one knows why his soulmate bond didn't kick in until he had come back to life, but that's how it happened. Not only did he have to deal with his own problems of coming back but he finally had to get used to yours too. And he wouldn't change it for the world.

“What's got you smiling like that?” Dick asks, from his position on the roof of an opposite building.

“What? A man can't be happy?” Jason continues smiling to himself as patrol goes on. Feeling your relaxed state through bond makes him stay relaxed himself.

Jason usually tries to stay as close to your shared apartment as possible, his paranoia holding him on a strong leash. However, he was forced to step more out of his comfort zone tonight, due to Dick's excessive begging.

He's almost ready to begin heading home when he feels it, overwhelming fear rushing down his spine. He becomes breathless as he quickly starts running home. Not staying long enough to hear Dick's questioning.

So many thoughts are running through his head he can't quite decipher them from one another. What if you're hurt? It's fine you probably just fell or something. But if all you did was fall you wouldn't be so scared? What if someone got in? What if someone from his nightlife is targeting you? What if he doesn't make it in time?

Still, almost halfway to your apartment, he feels as if he can't breathe. He feels as if his heart's in his stomach and all of time has stopped. Suddenly he stops. All feelings of fear and dread have dropped out of his body. Instead they've been replaced with feelings of relief and humor?

Why the fuck would you be feeling humor? As soon as he's stopped, he's moving again. Moving just as fast as moments before, he reaches the apartment in only a few minutes. After running up the stairs and slamming the door open with unbelievable force, he is hit in the face with a pile of dirt?

“Oh Jay! I'm so sorry I swear I didn't mean to throw dirt in your face.” You immediately run over to him and help get the dirt specks off his face.

“Then why did you?” He asks, sounding more confused than ever before. Only once he's done talking does he see the man laying face down on your living room carpet, surrounded with broken pieces of a potted plant. “And who is that?”

“I have no idea. He kinda broke in.” You tell him, moving to clean up the dirt and leaves covering the floor.

“Broke in? Is that why you were scared? That was a dumb question, don't answer that.” He takes off his helmet and sets it on the coffee table. Right next to the smear of blood. “What happened, sweetheart?”

“I don't even know, everything happened so fast. One moment I was falling asleep on the couch and the next I was smacking a guy with Bob.”

“Oh you smacked him with Bob.” Jason sounds strangely disappointed in the death of his potted plant you named Bob.

“I'm sorry he was the closest thing to me, I didn't think about it.” You stand up from the floor to look at the mess still sitting. From this angle Jason can see the bruise starting to form on your jaw bone.

“What happened here? Did he hit you?” He questions, grabbing your hand and pulling you close enough to inspect the bruise.

“Only once, there was a little fight. But I obviously won so it's fine.”

“It's not fine princess, you got hurt. And I could feel that you were scared.”

“I'm alright Jay.” You smile at him and place your hand on the side of his face. “I handled it.”

He can feel your pride run through him. “I'm glad, but that shouldn't have happened. We're moving.”

“No the fuck we're not. I like it here.” You cross your arms over your chest and raise your eyebrows at him.

“Baby, someone broke in.”

“Good. That means it likely won't happen again.”

“That's not how it works.”

“Oh c'mon. What are the chances that happens again?”

“Too high. We'll move somewhere in the country, away from people.” You chuckle at his suggestion.

“As great as that sounds, not yet. I'm alright Jay, I promise.”

“I'm teaching you self defense.” He pulls you into a bone-crushing hug.

“Why? I did great here.” You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him impossibly closer.

“Because I can't promise you'll always have a Bob to protect you.”

“Fine, as long as we get to spend more time together.”

“Whatever you want, sweetheart. I love you.” He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“I love you too Jay.” You hum into his chest.

[tsimvkas]

i wish you were sober — trent a.

A/N: oh here we are 🫶🏻 tbh ive been super nervous about writing a long fic for trent for the first time so i’d really appreciate if you could tell me your thoughts about it mwah!!

word count: 21.9k (wow wow wow) | masterlist

content: childhood friends to lovers, angst, smut, drunk!trent and fluff

Every time your best friend Trent has too many shots, the pair of you share a kiss. And he never remembers it.

You’ve met Trent Alexander-Arnold when he was still only Trentie, your colleague in kindergarten. A sweet and endearing kid, who would play with you every afternoon before napping on the little child’s bed next to yours.

Growing with him was something special. He became funnier with time, but always affectionate towards you. He’d always invite you to his house, to play with water balloons or hide and seek with the kids in the street.

The teenager stage was the hardest for your friendship.

Following his career up close, you got to discover a new Trent when things became more serious, so focused and dedicated, but also without time for you. You weren’t selfish, and you knew that football was all or nothing for him, so you tried your best to support him no matter what.

When he was finally called up for the first team, everything changed for the better. He was still the busiest person you’ve ever met, always so dedicated and focused, but your efforts were recognised and from that moment on your friendship only became stronger.

Trent always did his best to see you between training sessions and matches, sometimes dragging you with him to photoshoots and ad recordings. His family sees you as one of their own, and yours looks at him the same way.

You couldn’t imagine your life without things like the monthly BBQ at the Alexander-Arnold’s yard anymore, and the family trip to Anfield so you could all support him. Both families get along so well, and you’re sure you won the lottery with this rare and special type of friendship.

But things started to change for you when the first kiss happened. A party full of famous people wasn’t what you were looking for that day, but Trent dragged you there anyway.

He asked you to drive so he could drink and of course you accepted. The same way he would do everything in his power to make you happier, you would always help him too, so you hadn’t had any drink that night and as the hours passed you started to want nothing more than your house.

It got incredibly worse when you spotted a heavily drunk Trent chatting with a girl after looking for him for about half an hour. It usually never bothered you to see someone hitting on him and vice versa, but this specifically time stung.

When he was too drunk, he’d always reach out for you and let you know, so you could keep an eye at him and make sure he’d have water and painkillers the next day, but this time he had leave you alone in a place you knew no one, just so he could get some.

You remember debating for a while if you should go there and end his party or let him mind his business and try to distract yourself until he was tired enough to ask you to leave, but you hadn’t had the chance to make a decision though, as a blonde and muscular man approached you.

You both were chatting and laughing together when Trent got closer, suddenly circling your waist whilst nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

The blonde guy, Liam, looked at you with a funny face before asking if you needed help, but your best friend didn’t let you answer before mumbling that he wanted to leave.

A clingy Trent wasn’t unusual for you, always cuddling and snuggling together, but when he brushed a kiss against your neck the weird and new feeling in the pitch of your stomach made you shiver.

“Alright, I also think we should get going, Trentie” you tapped his arm on your belly, and Liam raised an eyebrow at you.

“Are you sure you don't want me to drop you home?” he smiled softly, but before you could answer Trent squeezed your arm.

“Can you grab my hoodie for me? I left it in the cupboard” he murmured. You nodded, telling Lim you’d be right back and quickly making your way to the door underneath the stairs.

When you came back with his fluffy hoodie in your hands, Liam was nodding his head to a serious Trent.

“Everything’s ok?” you frowned, since Trent didn’t look that sober a minute ago, but none of them answered.

“Wear it” your best friend motioned his head to the hoodie. “It’s cold outside”

You obeyed, pulling the hoodie over your head. Trent offered you his hand, and you grabbed it whilst turning to Liam in order to say goodbye.

“Will you take my number or what?” you playfully rolled your eyes.

His pale cheeks instantly turned red, and Liam shook his head.

“Sorry, Y/N. You’re really nice and beautiful and I’d love to know you better, but I think it’s better not” he scratched the back of his head, and the atmosphere instantly became awkward.

You shrugged, not actually knowing what to say. “Ok. C’mon, Trent”

When you made it to the car, you made sure Trent’s seat belt was correct before getting behind the wheel. Turning the engine, you sighed loudly.

“See? You don’t believe me when I tell you but they don’t like me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but something clearly is” you started to drive to his house.

In general, Trent doesn’t like to leave his house, and that’s why he only goes to parties thrown by close friends which usually happens to be next to him.

The drive was quick and silent, and once you parked in front of his house he turned to face you.

“Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re perfect, Y/N, and I like you”

You smiled appreciatively, turning the engine off since he decided to chat instead of saying bye and jumping out of the car, like his drunk ass usually does.

“You’re my best friend, Trent. What I’m trying to say is that no one likes me romantically” you gave him a small shrug.

Taking the seat belt off, he got up and rested his knee on his seat so he could lean closer to you.

Not fully understanding what was happening, your first reaction was to hold your breath and freeze in place when Trent got too close.

You aren’t dumb nor blind. Trent has always been pretty and hot, but more than that he is adorable. Gentle, curious, caring. And way out of your league.

In all these years of friendship he never looked at you like he wanted something else, so you always tried your best to keep sane.

They were friendly touches. They were friendly pet names. They were friendly cuddles, sleepovers and trips together.

You’ve been holding back your thoughts so you wouldn’t fall for someone you couldn’t have. You’ve been trying really hard, as you truly believe that a genuine friendship between a man and a woman can exist.

But when his lips brushed against yours and you closed your eyes, you couldn’t fight the thoughts anymore.

He was your best friend, but he was also the guy you wanted. With his silly jokes, strong arms holding you, a chill personality and pretty eyes looking back at you to check if you think he’s actually that funny.

Alexander-Arnold was definitely your type and you knew this all along; he just wasn’t available for you.

The kiss lasted a few minutes before Trent pulled away and looked at you with wide eyes. You didn’t know how to react or what to say, and the car stayed in silence for a while before he kissed your forehead.

“Thank you for taking care of me tonight. See ya”

You watched him jumping out of the car and quickly entering his house, the one he lives in with his parents and Marcel, and turning around to wave at you. Waving back, you headed home with both your mind and heart racing.

Discovering that he didn’t remember the kiss when he woke up the next morning hurt you a lot, but it also made you think if the universe wasn’t giving you both another chance to not screw up your friendship.

Then it happened again, and a second time left you even more confused. The way he kissed you tenderly, so different from what you expected a drunk kiss from Trent to be.

It happened a third time. And a fourth. In every party, he’d have a few shots and come to you, kissing you softly. You knew it wasn’t right, the fact that you’ve been carrying this alone whilst he couldn’t remember.

It felt like the destiny of your friendship with Trent was exclusively in your hands, and you hated it.

The pair of you spent a few months like this — even though it was wrong, you couldn’t force yourself to deny him or tell him you didn’t want that, because you did. Until the last time you agreed to go to a party with him.

You knew your kisses didn’t exactly meant anything, especially if Trent couldn’t remember them later, but it still hurt you when you left to grab water and came back to him flirting with a girl.

A girl that looked nothing like you, by the way.

Cleaning your throat, you got closer and tapped his shoulder, waiting for him to turn his head back and look at you. He gave you a disinterested look at first, and your stomach instantly churned.

“I’m not feeling good. I’m leaving now, are you staying?” you murmured.

Truth be told, you were secretly hoping he’d say yes. No matter how much it bothered you seeing him with other girls, it was the only way to convince yourself that he wasn’t yours. Not like that.

But the look in his eyes instantly became worried, and you had to bite your lips to stop you from smiling every time he showed concern for you.

“What’s wrong?” he turned completely to you, his back now facing the girl forgotten in the corner.

“I’ll be fine, just need to sleep” you shrugged.

Trent instantly grabbed his phone in his pocket and reached for your hand, guiding you outside without even saying goodbye to the other girl.

You couldn’t force yourself to feel sorry for her.

Without questioning you, he called an Uber to his house and hugged you for the quick drive, making you stay over.

Once in the safety of his room, Trent sat in the bed and reached his arms out to you.

“What are you feeling? Do you have any pain, nausea?” he asked gently, holding your waist when you got closer.

“I just need to sleep, Trent”

“C’mon, baby. What’s wrong? Is your sensitive tummy again? If you tell me I can grab the med for you” he caressed your stomach underneath the baby tee you chose to wear that night, thumbs stroking your skin softly.

You couldn’t hold the giggle, feeling giddy with his touch and the pet name slipping through his lips so easily.

“What’s so funny?” he smiled, looking at your face.

“How many shots did you have tonight?” you raised your eyebrows, your nails scratching the back of his head like you know he likes.

“A lot?” he told you shyly, making you laugh. “Why?”

“And who’s that girl you were talking to?”

“Oh, so that’s your nausea?” he grinned, tilting his head to the side. “You shouldn’t be worried, I told her I have a possessive and jealous best friend”

“Thanks” you tried to laugh, but the change in your expression was clear.

“No, what’s that face about? What did I said wrong?” Trent pouted, kissing your tummy over the fabric when you didn’t answer at first.

Knowing he had drinks enough, you sighed heavily. “Do you have any idea how it feels to see the guy you love flirting around with another girl?”

Trent’s eyes widened before he smirked, squeezing your waist.

“So you love me” he grinned, and you instantly started to walk backwards, cursing yourself.

“Of course, yeah” you coughed falsely. “You love me too, we’re best friends”

Trent got on his feet to follow you, and you cursed under your breath when your back hit the wall.

“No no, don’t run now” he cornered you, and you started to laugh even before he grabbed your waist.

The atmosphere was like the ones you were used to see in the movies. You yelped when he pulled you in his shoulder, his tipsy state making you both fall on the floor before he could make it to the bed.

You laughed so hard your belly started to hurt, and when he hugged you still laying on the floor you felt your body warming to his touch.

“I think I have an idea, actually. About how it feels” he murmured, your legs tangling together. “Not sure if you remember that pale and blonde man that looked like a ghost”

You laughed even harder at the mention of Liam, and Trent snorted before finally kissing you that night, a bit harsher and sloppier than how his kisses shared with you usually are.

Kissing him back, you giggled when he got on his feet and took you in his arms, tucking you in bed before getting back at kissing you.

You really thought things would change this time. That he was yours from now on.

Trying to fall asleep, the butterflies in your stomach made you company, and you couldn’t shut down properly due to the excitement, daydreaming about him.

It was only when the morning came and Trent asked you what had happened the last night, that you felt your heart sink, not even able to finish the breakfast you were sharing with him.

Since then, you started to decline every time he invited you to a party. Everything stayed normal when you met him during his matches or at his house, when you both decided to have dinner together or watch a movies.

In all those moments he was still only your best friend Trent, but you couldn’t face the other side anymore.

You couldn’t keep building hope and excitement only for his feelings to go away, like they were only part of the high of being drunk, so in order to protect your heart you’d only accept to see him in friendly circumstances.

It worked for a month and you were able to run from every party he mentioned, until you got the letter.

When you read it for the first time, it was hard to understand exactly what you were feeling.

You wanted this for years, and you worked hard to get it, but still… you used to think that the moment of reading your acceptance in the school you’ve always wanted only happened in movies.

Immediately telling your mother, the pair of you screamed excitedly, knowing for how long you worked for it.

After hugging her, you ran to your room and hit the button to call Trent, not pretty sure of what to say. He, more than anyone else, even your mum, knew how much you wanted this. He was there every step of the way, and you wanted to share the final one with him.

You soon found out you couldn’t tell him through the phone. When Trent asked you what was wrong, you only asked if he was free to have a coffee run with you.

Of course he agreed. Even if Trent was actually busy, as long as he wasn’t at training then he would drop everything to go and see you.

Your houses used to be in the same street, but as soon as he became a first team player he had to move, so you waited for him patiently at your front door.

“Good morning, sunshine” he smiled, waiting for you to get in. “What happened?”

“I’ll tell you when I have my coffee” you rolled your eyes, leaning over the console and pecking his cheek. “How’s auntie Di?”

He giggled, starting to drive to your favourite place. The fact that he never needs to ask where to take you always makes you giddy.

“She’s good, but she can’t stop talking about Marcel giving her a grandchild” Trent snorted, making you laugh, but you know damn well that he’s just as excited with having a niece. “How’s your mum?”

“Asking about you as always” you giggled. “I told her the news and she said ‘wow! Trent already knows?’, can you believe it? No ‘congrats’ like normal parents do”

Trent laughed, soon parking next to the coffee shop and running to open the door for you, as always. Wrapping your arm around his, you both walked inside.

It was pretty common in your friendship to be touchy with each other, and Trent pulled you in front of him so he could hug you whilst ordering your coffees.

The cashier smiled softly and took your order before shyly asking for a picture, which he instantly agreed to. Even though his job is tiring and being stopped every time isn’t the nicest thing in the world, you never saw him being rude or awful to anyone.

Grabbing your order, he led you to your favourite booth seat since you like being able to sit next to each other. After a sip of your coffee, you rested your head on his shoulder.

“I was accepted” you told him, giggling. “In Italy’s university”

Trent couldn’t held his jump, your face slowly going in the seat’s direction whilst you giggled and tried to straighten your body again

“I told you, Y/N!” he screamed, coming back to hug you. “You’re the smartest girl in Liverpool, of course they would want you to study with them. I’m so happy for you”

“Thank you” you giggled, knowing he wouldn’t stop talking about it for a while.

“When are you leaving? We need a farewell party” he poked your waist, the happiest smile on his face.

Your expression must have changed a bit, because he frowned at you. “Oh, I don’t know, Trent…”

He crossed his arms, and you knew he wouldn’t give up.

“C’mon, you’re going to another country! We won’t be able to see you for months” he insisted, and you hadn’t had the strength to say no to him.

So three days later you were at his house on a weekday, because Trent couldn’t during the weekend.

He made sure to make a pretty nice farewell party. Doing his best to invite only the people important to you, as he knows you don’t like the crowded parties he throws sometimes, and making a cute and aesthetic decoration for you.

A few members of your family had passed by earlier, but as soon as midnight came it was only the young adults, drinking and dancing.

Trent convinced you to have a few shots, and you didn’t want to disappoint him on your last party together. Since you knew you were safe with him and that you could go to his bed and sleep any time you wanted, you drank shot after shot.

You get drunk very easily, and that’s why you never drink when following Trent to one of his parties, so it wasn’t a surprise when your head started to spin and everything was suddenly too funny.

Dancing and chatting, you never left his side. Usually you prefer to hear him than to speak, but you couldn’t keep quiet and he was having fun with it.

When one of the boys called him, you nodded and let him go to check what it was. You took the time alone to observe the room, filled with people you grew up with, having fun, and the thought that you were about to leave all of this behind crossed your mind.

Trying to breathe and suddenly seeking for some silence, you went to the kitchen, thanking the universe when you saw it was empty.

As soon as you sat on the balcony your best friend entered the room, and the way his eyes lifted up made your tummy flutter.

“I was looking for you” he smiled, walking towards the balcony.

“Look no further” you smiled, hand already going to his hair as soon as he got closer.

He closed his eyes at the feeling of your fingers scratching his scalp, sighing in content.

“I’ll miss you” Trent slurred, his hands instantly going to your waist. “You’ll miss me, right?”

“Of course I’ll miss you, Trentie” you smiled at him, already feeling your cheeks warming. “You’re my best friend”

“That’s all?” he asked, spreading your legs so he could fit between them. When you looked at him with a confused expression, his fingers squeezed your waist tighter. “That’s all I am?”

You felt all types of emotions running through your body, your mind instantly on alert. The subject caught you off guard since you didn’t see him drink all night, so you just frowned.

“I can’t answer you that” you murmured, your own dizzy mind not being that helpful.

Trent pouted, getting closer and licking his lips wet. You felt your stomach back flipping, a cold sensation washing over your body.

“But I want you to answer” he murmured, his face so close his lips were brushing yours.

Later you could choose to blame the alcohol, but it that moment you chose to lean forward and grab his neck, pulling him close enough to close your lips on his.

You needed a goodbye kiss like your lungs needed air.

Trent’s response wasn’t immediate and you started to think you got the message wrong. All those times he was the one to initiate the kiss, and that’s how you knew he was actually drunk.

You started to panic with the realisation that he might not be as drunk as you thought he was, but as soon as you motioned to pull away his hands quickly cupped your jaw and gently deepened the kiss, one of them slowly sliding to your neck.

Usually your kisses wouldn’t last that long, and you tried to resist when Trent slid his tongue over your lips — but you’re just a girl, after all.

Opening your mouth and letting your best friend take control, soon you had to hold on Trent’s shoulders so he wouldn’t lay you down on the counter.

It was the first time he kissed you with such energy, instead of the shy kisses you’d usually share, and you couldn’t stop yourself from whimpering against his mouth.

“I’m gonna miss this too” he whispered against your lips, his erratic breath giving you a smug pride sensation.

“You won’t even remember this tomorrow, Trent” you tried not to sound too hurt, but your drunk state wasn't helping. “And it’s just a year, I’ll be right back”

“I’d miss you even if it was just a fucking week” he kissed you again, groaning against your lips. “You know I’d never, but I wish I was selfish enough to ask you to stay. You know you’re my favourite person in the world, right?”

You giggled at his silliness, tilting your head to the side.

“Tyler won’t like to know that, last week you said it was Aura-”

Trent cut you with another kiss, the hand on your neck trying to pull you even closer.

“Can I take you to my room?” he murmured after pulling away, and you instantly panicked.

“Oh- I- hm, I don’t think-” your mind went blank and you stuttered, thinking of how could you remind him — and yourself — that you are each other’s best friend.

“So we can cuddle” he cut you with a giggle, and you never felt more embarrassed. “Come here, legs around my waist”

You obeyed, yelping when he grabbed your thighs and pulled you closer.

“Sooo scandalous” he teased, making your face feel even hotter. “I wonder if you’re like that in-”

“Shut up” you groaned, hiding your face in his neck and cursing yourself when Trent started to laugh.

Once in his room he offered you a t-shirt, and you thought that you’re probably the reason why he needs to buy new ones every month.

Tapping the bed so you would join him, Trent waited for you before covering you two.

“There’s something I need to tell you” he murmured, waiting for your eyes to meet his. “I know you’re leaving for a while, and this isn’t, in any way, an attempt to make you stay. I want you to go, because you want to go. I want you to be happy, to see the world, learn different languages and make new friends. I really do”

“But?” you encouraged him to keep going.

Trent isn’t the type of guy to speak about his feelings. You know he’s sensitive, emotional, caring and an empath, but he likes to keep all of this to himself.

Constantly hiding what he really feels behind jokes and silly comments, it’s hard to make him open up to you. He can talk for England when he’s comfortable, which means he’s always yapping around you, but rarely about deep and profound things.

You know that for him to speak about what he wanted and what he feels, his mind had probably reached an overwhelmed state.

He got closer to you, his legs intertwining with yours.

“I think I’m kinda afraid that you won’t need me once you see what the world has reserved for you” he admitted, playing with the hem of the shirt you were wearing.

“I’ll always need you” you caressed his cheek, your eyes begging to be closed. “You know that”

“I really like you, Y/N. In a different way. And I get if it’s not what you want but from the way you kiss me I think it is and telling you this isn’t the easiest thing I’ve done in my life but you’re worth the fear and the uncomfortable feeling of speaking too much” he blurted out, his eyes avoiding yours.

You pecked his lips slowly and gently, letting it linger.

“I really like you too” you kissed him again, giggling. “I like you so much”

Trent smiled against your lips, circling your waist and bringing you closer. You got into a comfortable position, with half your body on top of his, and let your body relax.

For the first time, you were the one waking up with a huge headache and black spots in your memory. Trent was hugging your waist and even though it wasn’t unusual for you to be like that, you felt your heart twisting in your chest.

You’d miss this moments with him. A lot.

“I shouldn’t have let you convince me to drink” you groaned, making Trent giggle.

“I liked your drunk version. It’s a proper yapper”

“Why? What did I say?” you looked into his sparkly eyes. “Actually, what have I done? I can’t remember anything past the third shot, my head is burning”

You thought you had imagined the flash of pain in Trent’s eyes, the quick frown and confusion stamping his face for half a second before he smiled at you again.

“Such a lightweight girlie” he teased you, poking your waist. “There’s medicine and water next to you. Please, just don’t throw up on me”

You hadn’t realised you wanted to until he mentioned it, quickly getting on your feet and running to his ensuite.

Trent immediately followed you, crouching beside you and taking your hair out of your face. With a hand holding the hair, the other rubbed circles on your back, trying to soothe you.

“I’m sorry, pooks. I’ll never convince you to drink again” he murmured, guilty spreading through his body — over your sick state and the fact that you couldn’t remember last night.

“I appreciate it” you groaned, trying to take a deep breath. When he helped you to get on your feet and clean your face, Trent kissed your forehead.

“C’mon, we can spend the day recovering from it in the living room. A cosy afternoon with movies and snacks, uh?”

“Yeah, you owe me a last comfort day after this” you whined, tying up your hair.

The mention of it being a last moment suddenly hit you, and you looked at him with teary eyes and a fat pout.

“Don’t cry, your headache will get worse” Trent hugged you. “Shhh, if it’s the last one then let’s make it also the best one. No crying until you get on the plane”

You nodded against his chest, immediately groaning for moving your head too fast.

“First, you’ll take a shower whilst I get things ready” he spoke softly, his hands still caressing your back. “I’ll leave a shirt and a new pair of boxers on the bed”

“Ok” you mumbled, smiling when he kissed your head one more time and left the bathroom. After your shower, you wore the clothes he had left for you and tried your best to detangle your wet hair without a brush.

You should be used to feeling like an ogre every time you stayed over at his without all your stuff.

The room felt cold, and you grabbed the hoodie on his coat rack before walking to the living room, where Trent was putting a few blankets on the sofa.

“Feeling better?” he gave you a smile, tapping the sofa and waiting for you to sit. You nodded, getting comfortable and grabbing the bottle of water he offered you.

“Thank you, Trentie” you murmured, giving him a lazy smile and snuggling with him whilst he covered the pair of you.

That night, you watched various movies and ate some snacks together, always joking at something or debating about scenes.

You tried your best not to cry as he asked you to, but sometimes, looking at him when he started to laugh or throwing popcorn so he could catch it in his mouth, your eyes would tear up, missing your boy in advance.

When the last movie ended you were resting your body on his, head on his shoulder whilst Trent’s arm was around yours. He mentioned to get up, but you grabbed his t-shirt to catch his attention, and he understood as soon as he saw your eyes.

“I can hold you through it if you promise me you won’t feel guilty or sad about your decision once you leave”

Not trusting your voice, you only nodded and let him put you on his lap, laying your head on his shoulder. Trent hugged you tightly whilst you cried, grabbing his shirt on your fists.

You heard when Dianne entered the house and your best friend shook his head, telling her he got it. Losing track of time, you’re not sure how long you stayed there, pulling him closer like he was about to disappear — like he was the one leaving.

“I’m sorry” you croaked, pulling away.

His soft and empathetic smile made you tear up more, the pain in your chest something you never felt.

“Don’t be. Gotta live your dreams like I’m leaving mine, yeah? I’m not going anywhere and you’ll find me here when you need me”

“But I need you all the time” you whined. “I can’t choose my movies alone and I can’t remember the last time I had to buy a t-shirt, you’re better than me in the kitchen and the engine never dies with you”

“Anyone ever told you how much of a cry baby you are?” he smiled, tucking your hair behind your ear. You could see water on his eyeline, but you knew better than to mention it.

“Yes, you” you rolled your eyes, making Trent laugh.

“Self pity time is over” he decreed, tapping your thigh. “I’ll drop you home and you’ll pack. I can’t make it to the airport though, I’ll travel to face Brighton”

You only nodded again, and Trent knows better than to force you to be like him, mascaring his pain with jokes. He kissed your head one more time and drove you home, letting you cry a bit more in the car.

Even though he was in another city when you went to the airport, he still made sure to say goodbye one more time, texting you sweet things.

After saying goodbye to your family and to Trent’s, hugging his mother and brothers before getting on your plane, you had to face what it was probably the scariest moment of your life.

Leaving everything you knew behind. The safety, the food you eat since a kid, the places you know how to get to, the country you know how to communicate in, how to walk around, what to do.

It was time to dive into the unknown, and even though you were afraid there was this voice in the back of your mind, making you go further — gotta love your dreams like I live mine.

So you placed your carry-on bag on the right compartment and took a deep breath, ready to live your dream.

—

You soon discovered that Italy was incredible, and Milan received you with open arms.

In only three months studying there, you met so many amazing people and places and day by day you felt a bit more at home.

Getting used to the streets, the food, the language, you felt the country slowly beginning to be a part of you.

On the other hand, you missed home. You couldn’t keep the promise he made you make, and some days all you could feel was guilt for choosing a life without him, your family and everything you love around.

Italy would be perfect — if they had a Trent. Which they don't.

They don’t have your best friend, who always shows up at your door on his day off to bring you coffee. The only person that would lay on your bed whilst you studied, take a nap even, only to spend some time with you.

When you think about it, Trent was the one who supported your decision most. Even more than your mother, being honest.

Of course she wanted you to be happy, but the fact that you would be happy 1285 km away from home worried her a lot, whilst Trent knew that you were about to find exactly what you’ve been wanting for years.

‘Italy is great, Y/N. You’ll love it’ he used to say, every single time you shared with him about giving up. ‘And they have the best gelato in the world’

Since you landed, you knew he was right. And that only made the decision of leaving him behind even harder.

You tried to facetime him every night to stay updated on his life and tell him about all the different things you were living, but as time passed your classes got more and more difficult, and you had to focus entirely.

This helped a bit with the sadness it filled your heart every time you thought about home, since you barely had time to miss anything or anyone, but soon Trent started to feel left aside.

You still watched his games every weekend, but every time he texted you about FaceTiming you had to decline, saying you were at the library or too busy with your notes.

Even though he understood that you were studying and that the life abroad must be really hard to cope with, he missed you and soon his grumpiness about the situation started to show up.

The last straw was when you couldn’t attend the only game you had promised you would. Everybody knew how important it would be for Trent to face United in the conditions they were in, and you really wanted to be there for him, but you needed to prioritise your exams week.

You explained to him that it would be really risky buying the tickets without knowing if you’d need to so a recuperative exam on Saturday, and Trent understood. He supported you through it, always asking how you were feeling and if the exams were really that hard, but you could feel the change in his humour.

By the end of the week, you had successfully finished the semester, and when your friends decided to go out Sunday afternoon you didn’t hesitated.

Theo, Paola and Veronica were also abroad students and you clicked with them immediately in the beginning of the course. They were your study group and the ones you’d get out with in a city you don’t have anyone else.

Having a brunch and a few drinks, it didn’t take long for you to return home, wanting to watch the game.

You took a shower and got into comfy clothes, selecting a few pictures of your afternoon and posting them on Instagram before getting in bed and turning the TV on.

Trent’s face on the line-up art was the last thing you saw before blacking out, a sleep deprived week taking its toll on you.

—

The first thing Trent did after changing and getting out of the stadium was trying to call you. When you didn’t answer, he sent you a text, and when this one was unanswered as well he gave up, snorting before checking his Instagram.

He wish he hadn’t, because the first post he saw made his tummy hurt, and soon he was grabbing a hoodie and leaving home, walking past a few houses before knocking at his friends’ door.

Saffie opened it for him, and he tried to smile.

“Curtis is back already?” was the first thing he asked, and she immediately knew something was bothering him.

“Yeah, he’s in the living room. Get in” she gave Trent space to enter and he waited for her to close the door, not wanting to be rude and run to Curtis.

“How are you doing, Saffie?” Trent asked, gesticulating to her belly.

He was, obviously, not the best with words and sentimental things.

“I’m good” Saffie smiled. “It’s still so early, but we’re excited. Curtis is really happy. I’m sorry by today’s results, by the way”

Trent smiled appreciatively and nodded, following her to the living room. When Curtis saw who it was at the door, he frowned.

“Wow! Who died?” he chuckled, getting on his feet and walking towards Trent.

“Curtis, don’t be rude” his girlfriend scoffed at him before leaving the pair of them so she could finish dinner.

“She was out today” Trent mumbled. “And she didn’t even answered my texts”

Jones instantly sighed, knowing damn well what Trent was talking about. Everybody in the club knew.

“Maybe she didn’t saw the result-”

“C’mon Curtis” Trent threw himself on the sofa. “It’s not about the result, she was supposed to be here and I was supposed to win this one for her. I thought she would at least watch the game. But instead we had an ugly draw and she is out with some ugly Italian”

Even though you posted the picture before the kickoff time, the only explanation for your lack of response was that you were still with the guy. An ugly one, according to Trent’s standards,

“Oh, I see” Curtis giggled. “You’re jealous”

“What? I’m not jealous. Why would I be jealous? I’m the best friend. She calls me every night, her family loves me, she knows me more than anyone and she tells me everything whilst this guy doesn’t even know her favourite colour”

“Which is…” Curtis raised an eyebrow, but Trent only rolled his eyes before answering.

“Red, of course. And golden” he mumbled, fidgeting with his shirt.

Curtis sighed, walking towards Trent and tapping his head affectionately.

“And she told you about him?”

“She said she had made some friends, he might be one of them” Trent shrugged, taking his phone out of his pocket and searching for your post, showing it to Curtis.

“Doesn’t look like a friendly night out” Curtis teased him. Of course it did, with your two friends together, but he always liked to pour salt in Trent’s wounds. They grew up doing that to each other.

“It might be not totally friendly but it’s not a date either. If it was a date she’d be wearing a dress. She has a special dress for date nights”

“And you know that because…”

Trent smirked, feeling a bit more secure of himself.

“I helped her to choose it. Told you Curtis, there’s no reason to be jealous. The guy can try but he’s not me”

“Well, at least he has the courage to call her out” Curtis chuckled, running out of the living room before Trent could shoot him with his cold eyes. “Come have dinner with us, cry baby. Saffie made baked potatoes”

Trent lazily got up from the sofa, walking to the kitchen, and the place smelled really good.

“Aw, the baby wanted potatoes?” he teased.

Curtis laughed, but shook his head.

“Oh no, she doesn’t have cravings yet”

Trent passed through him, slapping the back of his head and entering the kitchen.

“I know, you are the baby in question” he giggled, smiling when Saffie burst into laughter.

—

When you woke up, the first thing you saw was the uncountable number of missed calls from Trent, guilty instantly spreading over your chest.

It was easy to unblock your phone and see the Liverpool widget telling you the last game’s result. 2-2, a draw that you were sure it felt like a loss for him.

Quickly clicking Trent’s contact to call him, you got up.

“Trentie?” you asked when a groan sounded on the other side, beating yourself when you remembered he was a year behind it was probably too early for him. “I’m so so so sorry. How are you feeling?”

“Mhm” he mumbled, making you sigh. “Sorry, I just feel awful, there’s not much to say”

“It wasn’t your fault. I know it was an important game but there’s still time, don’t be too hard on yourself. You can focus on helping the team in the next game, yeah?”

“I can’t” he snorted. “Hamstring again”

You felt your heart drop. It was his first injury since you left, and if you already used to feel helpless when next to him, the feeling only got worse being so far away.

“I’m so sorry, Trent. They told you how many weeks?”

The silence showed you that he was still trying to cope with it, and you felt even sadder.

“Not yet” he mumbled.

You thought about how to make him feel better, wanting nothing more than to comfort your best friend.

“You could… like” you stuttered, not knowing if it was the right time. “I’m not sure, I thought you could come here. For a few days, but now that I said it I’m thinking you probably need to take care of your injury and you can’t have mini vacations just because you’re hurt”

It took him a couple of minutes to answer, and you could even imagine his mind working whilst biting his lower lip.

“Liverpool plays against Atalanta this Thursday” Trent murmured. “Google says it’s forty minutes away from you. I think I could go with the team on Wednesday and stay until Friday morning. I’m already having physio sessions so I’d just be two days without it”

“Are you sure?” you bit your lower lip, the bubble of excitement growing in your stomach.

“I mean… I should rest, but I really need to see you” he murmured, and your heart ached. When in England, you were the one Trent always ran to when he got this type of news.

Finding comfort in your hugs, a cuddle session, some ice cream and scalp scratches. You know that the same way he’s yours, you’re his safe person.

“I’ll be waiting for you then. I can pick you up in Bergamo”

“Deal” he yawned, and the sound made you smile. “Now, if you let me…”

You laughed, nodding even though he couldn’t see

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry, go back to your sleep”

“I love you” he murmured after another yawn, warming your heart.

“I love you too. Sweet dreams, mwah” you sent him a kiss before turning the call off and get ready to start your day.

—

The start of the week quickly passed through you. The classes were fun and you had coffee dates for study with the girls, even though you couldn’t keep your eyes off of your phone, tacking every minute.

Every minute until you could see Trent after months apart.

During Monday and Tuesday, your mind often got lost in thoughts. You wondered if it would be weird at first, if you both had already forgotten how to be around each other.

The idea made you nervous. Like it was years apart from him, instead of only six months.

By Wednesday morning you had already convinced yourself that Trent would hate everything about Italy and this new version of you. That you’d both discover you don’t understand each other anymore and that the friendship of twenty years had come to and end because of your choice of moving away.

Trying to survive during the day was the hardest. You went to your class and tried to ease your feelings with your favourite coffee, but soon it was time to make the drive to Bergamo so you could be there once they landed.

The forty minutes in your car with your favourite playlist eased your feelings a bit, and soon you were in the airport’s parking lot.

Biting your lips furiously, you started to bounce your leg as the minutes seemed to stop passing. The turmoil in your head coming back even stronger and getting the best of you as fear won over excitement.

When a light knock on your window woke you up from your trance, you slightly jumped before meeting your favourite pair of eyes.

Trent tilted his head to the side and smiled at you, waiting for you to open the door. With your hands slightly shaking, you pushed it a bit and stood there, looking at him as if you were trying to confirm if he was real.

“Forgot how to hug me or something?” he raised his eyebrows, and you realised how you’ve missed even his annoying teasing tone.

“Maybe” you croaked, your eyes immediately filled with tears.

“Hey no, what’s wrong?” he left his bag on the floor, quickly leaning to hug you as best as he could with the space he was given.

You took a deep breath, inhaling Trent’s scent and finally giving your body permission to relax.

“I’ve just missed you” you murmured, your lips brushing against the crook of his neck. His arms around you dissolved the tension and the worries you’ve been feeling since leaving home, making you feel silly.

Trent and you could never not like each other anymore. You would always understand him, and he would always be there for you.

“Yeah, I know the feeling. But I’m here” he kissed the top of your head, arms tightening around your shoulders. “I’m here”

You took a deep breath, pulling away from his hug just in time to see the team waking to their van, smiling at them.

“Take care of my boy, Y/N” Virgil shouted, giggling and waving at you. Trent gave him his middle finger, hugging you again.

Laughing, you waved back to them before telling Trent to get in. When you finally got home, you helped him to take his bag inside, leaving it in the living room before throwing yourself on your sofa.

“Come here, I think we need a healing cuddle” you called him, lying down and opening your arms.

Trent giggled and walked towards you, carefully lying his body on top of yours.

“I missed this so much” Trent groaned, snuggling further into you. “Tyler wouldn’t let me cuddle with him after a bad game”

“That’s why I’m your best friend, not him” you giggled, brushing your fingers over his forehead. “How’s everything at the club?”

“I don’t know how to explain that it feels like we’re falling apart at the same time that we’re reinventing ourselves” he murmured, his pout making you smile.

“Changes are difficult. The transition, when you’re not sure about the future. When everything feels scary and uncertain. But once it happens, you’ll feel the hope of better days and the eager to live these days”

Trent hummed, nodding before staying silent again. After a few minutes, you checked only to see him peacefully sleeping with his mouth slightly open.

Letting him rest, you kept looking at his features. Tracing his lips and his nose, going to his eyebrows and brushing his cheeks.

“My skincare is giving results?” he spoke suddenly, scaring you and giggling at your heart beats getting higher. “Strong heart, you have”

“Which skincare you’ve been doing?” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“I call it ‘using all the products my best friend left behind’, and I think it’s working” he giggled, making you slap his head slightly. “I’ll buy you new ones, I swear”

“I hope so” you rolled your eyes playfully. “C’mon, let’s get into bed before we end up staying the whole night on the sofa”

“Wow Y/N, you say this to every man who comes here?” he teased you, but you only rolled your eyes again.

“No one comes here, Trent. That’s what you wanna know?” you poked his cheek.

“That’s exactly what I wanna know, thank you” he kissed your chin before getting on his feet and helping you.

You asked if he wanted to eat something before taking a nap, but Trent only said he’d rather have dinner later, which would be a good option if any of you had actually woken up for dinner.

—

“You’re sure you wanna lose class to watch the game?” he whined the next morning.

The pair of you ended up sleeping through the whole night, only waking up when your alarm went off.

You had given him breakfast and he took a shower before you told him you wanted to watch the game, having bought the tickets when he said he’d be going.

“Trent, I haven't seen my club for months now. Plus, with you I have special treatment” you smirked, laughing when he rolled his eyes. “We still can go out tonight, I’m sure there’s nice places around Bergamo”

“Fine, let’s go then” he groaned, wanting nothing more than to just cuddle with you all day instead of facing a game he wouldn’t be able to play in.

But Trent would accept anything that could make you happier, so he grabbed his coat and followed you outside. You decided to leave home early so you both wouldn’t need to rush, respecting his injury.

The drive was filled with Trent’s laugh at every embarrassed moment you told him about, letting him know that the first months trying to speak in Italian had made you dirty a lot.

When you finally parked at Atalanta’s stadium, he sighed and opened the door, but you grabbed his wrist before he could leave.

“You’re here as a fan. Let’s not stress” you smiled, but the small nod he gave you made you sigh. “Trent…”

“I’m good. Honestly, let’s not pay attention to me, we’re here so you can see your favourite boys” he opened the car’s door.

You sighed, looking at him. “You are my favourite boy”

“A broken one” he rolled his eyes, quickly getting out of the car and shutting the door. You didn’t move, knowing he’d want to open your door for you and not wanting him to force his leg trying to get there faster.

Once he opened it, you got on your feet and waited for him to close it before circling his torso and laying your head in his shoulder. It took a while for him to relax in your arms, resting his face on top of yours.

“I love you” you whispered, feeling guilty for dragging him with you. “You could’ve told me you really didn’t want to come”

“I will always do anything you ask me for” Trent shrugged, and you knew it was true.

“You don’t have to if this won’t make you happy as well” you pulled away, cupping his chin. “What doesn’t make you happy also doesn’t make me happy. Got it?”

“Yeah” he nodded, rolling his eyes playfully. “But we’re already here, so move your fat ass and get inside”

You chuckled, always amazed with how he’d always brush the hard times with a joke.

The game was a true nightmare, and you could see Trent squirming on the seat next to yours. He wanted to be there and make a difference, and the fact he couldn’t hurt him a lot.

“We don’t need to wait for the game to end” you squeezed his knee, feeling bad for putting him there when the relief flooded his expression.

Soon you were in the stadium’s parking lot. A few football fans tried to stop him for pictures and you could see it hurt him to say no, so you started to dismiss them for him.

Choosing to drive to a bar you liked when you visited Bergamo, you order for you and for Trent before sitting in a booth.

“Feeling better?” you smiled at him. Trent nodded, and you caressed his chin.

“I’m sorry for ruining the game” he sighed.

“Well, if someone ruined the game it was definitely not you” you joked. “Don’t feel sorry for being unhappy or uncomfortable with something, Trent. You don’t need to be funny all the time for me to like you, and you should know that by now”

“Y/N?” a male voice interrupted you. When you looked up, your colleague from university smiled at you.

“Theo! Hi, what are you doing here?” you greeted him excitedly. “This is Trent, he’s visiting from England. Trent, this is Theo. He’s my classmate”

You weren’t expecting to see any of your friends out since you and Trent were a bit far away, but it was nice to show a part of your new life to your best friend.

“Oh, aren’t you the-” Theo pointed at him, frowning.

“Yeah” Trent didn’t try to be gentle or decent, but you didn’t judge him since you knew his current situation.

“He doesn’t want to talk about it today, Theo” you explained.

“Of course” your colleague looked at Trent and then at the TV in one of the walls. “I’m in the way of something?”

“Yes-” Trent snorted, but you unintentionally cut him.

“You can sit with us if you want” you smiled. Theo chose to sit on your other side of the booth, and you stayed in the middle of the two man like a salami in a sandwich.

It was all over Trent’s face that he didn’t like having to share his best friend when he had so little time together with you, but you only squeezed his hand.

Holding your hand on his lap the entire time, Trent even tried to be socially decent sometimes, but you knew him good enough. Talking with strangers wasn’t his cup of tea, and he’d rather stay home and not talk with anyone at all. Anyone besides you.

As time passed by, it got really late. Since you and Trent had agreed that he’d stay in Bergamo he refused to let you go back home alone in the night.

After saying goodbye to Theo, the pair of you found a hotel to spend the night in so you could drive home safely in the morning.

You thought you could have a funny night together and ask something in the room service, but as soon as you got inside and took off your jacket and shoes Trent turned to face you.

“I didn’t like the way he’s with you” he rolled his eyes. “He looks clingy”

You frowned at him, throwing your bag in the corner. Trent can be a bit possessive over the people he cares about, so you weren’t actually surprised.

“You don’t even know him, Trent”

“Well, I don’t care. I don’t like him. The way he kept staring at me and trying to get closer to you like he thought it was some kind of competition or what? If you want the girl it sounds stupid trying to fight her best friend”

You turned to face him, surprised to find his eyebrows together and his lips in a firm line.

“He doesn’t know you’re my best friend” you shrugged.

“Oh, no?” Trent raised his eyebrows, and you could tell that the fact you weren’t making clear to someone that you had a best friend hurt him a bit. But more than that, he looked annoyed. “I wonder how you would’ve felt if it was the opposite”

You chuckled, not understanding his point. “What do you mean?”

“If a girl was hitting on me and I never told her about my best friend” he crossed his arms. “If I never made it clear I have a close and deep connection with another girl”

You rolled your eyes, still not understanding where he was trying to get, and your action made him huff.

“Plenty of girls hit on you all the time” you told him, unbothered.

“And I always make sure they know about you” he pointed out.

“So what?” you shrugged. “I didn’t tell him, I’m sorry”

“You didn’t tell him because you’re starting to forget about me” Trent finally snapped. “You think I didn’t notice how you barely have time to call me or to even text me about your day? You couldn’t make it to the game and I get it but I thought you would at least watch it instead of going out for some kisses”

He gave you a sharp look, and it bothered you. It bothered you that he thought you needed to tell a guy you had a intimate friendship with him only ecause he hoped this would keep them away, whilst you had to sit in Italy and read the multiple articles about his different ‘things’ during the last months.

“The world doesn’t revolve around you, Trent” you got in the defensive mode, even more annoyed that he thought you missed the game because you were with Theo when you were actually forced to rest by your own body.

“Never said it does. But I can’t be upset? I can’t be upset you didn’t even mention me to him?” he raised his hands in the air, starting to gesticulate. “I mention you to every girl I hang out with because I need them to like you, Y/N. If I’m dating someone, I need them to know you were there first. And if they have any problem with you, then I need to know from the beginning so I won’t find myself in love with someone that wants you out of my life. Not that the decision would be hard to take, but it would hurt a lot to break up with someone I’m already used to”

“Theo would never ask me to get away from my best friend” you defended your colleague only by the need to refute Trent. In reality, you don't know how he’d act.

And you don't want to know, because you never saw him as nothing more than a colleague. No one could make you choose between them or Trent.

“Of course he wouldn’t” Trent screamed, and you were taken aback. “He doesn’t even know you have one”

You never heard him screamc not with you, not with anyone around him. It didn’t scare you. Instead, the urgency to understand his feelings for once got the best of you.

“Why the hell are you so fucking angry?” you sighed, lowering your voice.

Trent didn’t look you in the eyes, turning his back to you when he spoke on one go without even pausing to breathe.

“That city doesn’t even feel like home when you’re not there and I’ve been waiting for you to come back so I can be whole again whilst you’re here kissing a fucking Italian that doesn’t even know I exist because you didn’t think I was important enough to be mentioned” he’s voice was low, and despite the meaning of what he was saying was important, you couldn’t stop yourself.

“He’s German, Trent”

Your best friend turned to face you, and you knew you hurt him by not acknowledging his confession. In the end, that’s why he always choose to keep his sentimental words to himself.

“I don’t fucking care, he can go to hell” he muttered under his breath. You knew that he was showing you a vulnerable side of him, and you could stop the fight whenever you wanted to.

Instead, you chose that moment to say what you’ve been carrying with you for a while.

“At least when he tries to hit on me he doesn’t forget about it the next morning” you murmured back. “And he definitely doesn't want me only when he’s drunk”

Trent was close enough to grab your wrist and pull you against him, making you gasp surprisedly.

“I want you all the time. I might have had a few drinks tonight, Y/N, and I might have made you believe I was heavily drunk every time I wanted to kiss you, but I still want you when I’m sober, and I’m sober enough to know what I’m talking about” he murmured. “I’m sorry, baby. I won’t forget about this one”

You didn’t see the kiss coming. Trent kissed you harshly, his hands cupping your face like he was afraid you would run away from him, his grip tight on your waist instead of cupping your face softly like he always did.

It all escalated too fast with the pair of you desperate and carried away by the intensity of your argument, and it didn’t take long for you to be laid in bed with him on top of you.

You took off his white t-shirt, throwing it across the room before getting back at kissing him.

“Are you sure?” he murmured, distributing kisses alongside your neck and you nodded.

Trent stopped his kisses to grab your chin between his fingers, forcing you to stare into his eyes. “Words”

“I think you should ask this for yourself, Trent” you smiled ironically, making him chuckle.

“Never thought you could be such a fucking brat. Just answer me” he tightened his grip.

You took a while to observe his eyes, his breath, the way his lips were curved on a teasing smile.

“I am pretty sure”

He was quickly to slide your panties down your legs after your verbal consent, getting comfortable between your legs.

Before you used to think that it would at least feel weird, doing this with him. But the truth is that you were so attracted to Trent that this thought didn’t even cross your mind at that moment.

Gently working you up, Trent teased you for a while before inserting his finger. Respecting your time and always asking if you were good, he inserted a second making you squirm.

“Relax f’me, princess” he murmured against your temple, and you shivered at the pet name. “So deliciously tight, uh?”

When his fingers didn’t feel like intruders anymore Trent scissored you, smiling to the contorted expression on your face. He kept the pace torturously slow, building your pleasure.

The first moan that slipped your mouth made Trent’s mind go blank. The way his dick pulsated inside his boxers, the goosebump travelling down his back, the way he felt his own moan almost falling from his lips.

A second later, he wanted to make you do it again.

“Does he make you feel like that?” Trent murmured against your ear, only making your situation worse whilst his fingers reached deep and his thumb caressed your clit. “Do any of them?”

“Trent-” you whined, feeling empty when he removed his fingers and adjusted himself, going down until his face was between your legs.

“So fucking wet. What do you need, baby? Tell me want do you want from me”

“Everything” you were able to whisper, closing your eyes when he kissed your clit, brushing his lips against you.

“You look good enough to eat” Trent brushed his nose between your folds, making you gasp. “And I’m so fucking starved”

When he closed his lips on your clit, you closed your eyes, throwing your head back and letting it fall down on the pillow.

Trent felt goosebumps when you whined for him and his tongue kept exploring you, savouring every part of the new found paradise, coming back to tease your clit and casually sliding deeper every time.

You cried out, your moans getting whinier by every second, and soon found out that your moans were now his favourite sound, trying harder every time to make you whine and beg louder than before.

Trent couldn’t hold his own hips at the sound of you so desperate underneath him, pressing them down so the friction against the bed would help him ease the pain.

He used his hand to pull his dick out of his boxers before inserting his fingers in you again, pumping them faster whilst his lips would suck your clit precisely and the pleasure was too good to be true.

You could feel your body hot everywhere, the pressure on your stomach and the warmth on your pussy driving you crazy.

“God, Trent” you whined, scratching the back of his neck, rolling your hips when you felt his smile against you.

He pulled his face away, his fingers never stopping whilst he grind his hips on the silky bed sheets, groaning at the sensation and looking at you with swollen lips and bright eyes,

“C’mon, be good and cum for me” he whispered, kissing your tummy before placing his mouth back at where you needed him. Gripping on his shoulder and sinking your nails in his skin, you let your high reach you.

When you tugged your fingers on his hair, pressing his face further whilst he guided you through your orgasm, he shamelessly came on his boxers, moaning loudly against you.

Recovering from his high, Trent laid beside you and brought you closer to lay your head on his chest, a hand around your shoulder whilst he took deep breaths.

The pair of you spent a few minutes like this, in silence. He looked at the ceiling, thinking of what had just happened meant for your friendship.

The fact that he would be going back to England by the morning and leaving you behind suddenly hit him, and he could swear he was about to have a panic attack.

“I can’t do this” Trent whispered, and your breath instantly hitched in your throat, your heart twisting in your chest.

Your cheeks were burning and you could feel the humiliation sinking in, and you wondered if you could get your clothes and lock yourself in the bathroom before collapsing.

“We shouldn’t have done this” he said again, and the pain you felt on your chest was becoming unbearable.

“I heard you the first time” you muttered, quickly getting on your feet and starting to look for your things.

“I’m coming back to England and you’re staying here…” he closed his eyes, cursing himself for letting you both get so carried away.

“I got it, Trent” you raised your voice a bit, and he finally looked at you. “We shouldn’t have done this. You wish we hadn’t”

“I didn’t say that” he immediately said, taken aback by the change in your tone.

You quickly wore your skirt, unsuccessfully trying to find the corset. Groaning, you took the shirt you had just taken off of him and wore it, looking for your purse whilst he sat on the bed, his hand supporting his weight.

“What are you doing?” Trent frowned, hopelessly watching you walking around the room.

“Going home. I have classes tomorrow morning” you mumbled, not trusting yourself to stay there any more. “I’ll return the shirt later”

He looked at you, the messy and loose hair. Trent wanted you to come back to bed and sleep, but your behaviour confused him.

“We’re in the middle of the night you can’t drive alone-”

“I can’t stay here, Trent” you cut him and stopped by the door, the urgency in your voice making him flinch.

“I’m sorry” he whispered, not even looking at you. His head was spinning and he couldn’t properly understand what was happening.

You looked at him one last time, his bare torso, the strong arms supporting his weight, the marked jaw.

“I’m sorry too. For believing when you said you wanted this and letting you go on” you muttered before leaving.

Trent’s mouth opened in surprise, his dizzy mind trying to fight the slowness he’d always get in after his orgasm, but you quickly left the room and he knew it was too late.

—

After reading Trent’s message before turning on the engine, you drove the forty minutes home trying your best not to cry, focused on the street.

The playlist making you company was constantly playing sad love songs, and you couldn’t stop repeating the whole night in your head.

As soon as you got home, you immediately headed to the bathroom, seeking some comfort and wanting to wash the evidence of what just happened.

Running a bath in the middle of the night was unusual for you, but you didn’t want a rushed shower. You needed to relax, so you waited for it to fill with hot water and took your clothes off, carefully entering the bath.

The water’s temperature embraced your body, and you sighed deeply.

You didn’t hear from him anymore that day and you were sure he was trying to respect your space, but for some reason that was not what you wanted.

What you really wanted was for him to call you. To try to fix this, somehow. To tell you that it was ok that you both got into this situation because that was all he ever wanted, just like you.

Now, you don’t even know if all those things he said before going to bed with you were real.

When the water got cold you decided that the best would be to get in bed, quickly drying yourself and looking for a pyjama. Not being able to find one in the middle of the night and too tired to keep searching, you reluctantly wore the hoodie Trent left at yours before you headed to the game, his smell immediately engulfing you.

Laying in bed and getting comfortable beneath the sheets, you allowed your body to feel what it needed to, and it wasn’t long until strong sobs were shaking your body.

You couldn’t lose Trent. But at the same time, you had no idea how you’d be capable of looking at him and chatting with him without letting your feelings get the best of you.

You knew it was unfair to ignore his messages without an explanation, so you quickly typed one, which Trent was quick to answer.

Sighing, you locked your phone and tried to sleep, the uncertainty about your friendship’s future consuming you through the night.

—

A month without Trent was the worst thing you had to go through in a while. Before everything, he is your best friend.

The guy who’ll hear anything you have to say, that’ll spend hours on the phone, that’ll bring you something cute because it reminded him of you.

The silly, caring and funny Trent. The other half of you.

You had already decided you wouldn’t go to England during your break, your feelings too messy to be deal with right now, when your mother told you that the whole family was invited for Klopp’s last game.

‘I respect your decision of not coming home during your weeks off, but he really needs you. I’m just checking if you’re totally sure about it’

You thought that the worst you’ve felt during your friendship with Trent was the last time you saw him, but hearing your mother telling you how he begged her to allow him to stay in your room for a while, where she heard him crying for hours, completely broke you.

So without even blinking you immediately bought the plane ticket after the call, and started to pack up your essentials. You knew that in the end two weeks could reveal to be too much, but you chose to risk it.

Whilst you picked up your favourite outfits, you analysed the situation. Of course a friendship so long like yours would face a harrowing moment at some point.

After that night, you were sure your feelings were real, but you couldn’t blame Trent for trying to understand — and in the end, feeling different than you.

You know you want him close. You need your best friend around, and you need things to be ok between you two.

Even if for that to happen you must bury your romantic feelings for him, pretending like you never felt them.

Landing in Liverpool the day of the game, you were happy to see your father in the airport, giving him a tight hug.

He drove you directly to Anfield, and you were able to enter the family box during the warm up. Not wanting your best friend to spot you with his family and get distracted, you stayed in the box d most of the time.

Even when you went to the stands, you made sure to stay away from everyone he knew and would look for. During Klopp’s farewell, you allowed yourself to get closer to his brothers, knowing that he would be too focused on the boss.

The goodbye was painful to you. Being a Liverpool fan your whole life, you and Trent spent all these years with Jürgen, and whilst the tears felt down your cheeks without any sign of stopping soon your only thought was how hurt your boy was feeling on the pitch.

Your question was answered when a footage of Trent with teary eyes showed up on the stadium screens, making you choke on your own saliva.

Not having the strength to be a part of the lap of honour, you waited with your mum and dad whilst Trent’s family went to the pitch to celebrate the end of the season, and watching him playing with Aura and feeling so happy with his loved ones around him settled your heart.

You smiled down at your phone, sitting on the box sofa and chatting with your father. When Tyler came running and hugged you, you started to laugh, knowing he was trying to piss Trent off.

When your best friend showed up at the door, you smiled softly at him.

“Y/N?” Trent gasped, not expecting to see you there. His wet and puffy eyes made your heart twist, and without thinking of anything else you opened your arms to him.

He threw himself at you, pushing Tyler away, and his strong arms hugged your torso tightly. Holding his shoulders just as tight, you sighed in his embrace.

You watched both of your families leave the room, more to give Trent privacy after what he just had gone through, and you hugged him even tighter.

“Oh, pookie. I’m so sorry you’re going through this” you scratched his scalp, and Trent relaxed against your body.

When he didn’t answer you thought he simply didn’t know what to say, but after a few seconds you realised Trent was slightly shaking, and soon you could hear the strong sobs washing over him.

You let him cry, a hand rubbing circles on his lower back whilst the other kept scratching his scalp until he was able to calm down, fifteen minutes later.

“Baby, hey” you tried to pull away so you could look at him, but he only clung to you tighter, decided not to let you see his face. “Look at me, Alexander”

“So you can see how weak I am?” his croaked voice cut you deeply.

“Trent. Look at me” you firmly asked, finally being able to cup his face in your hands when he pulled his head out of your neck. “Being emotional and sensitive about something isn’t being weak”

His teary eyes looked back at yours, the sight of the trail of tears making your heart drop.

“I had lots of weeks to prepare for this” his hoarse voice made you pout, stroking his chin.

“Doesn’t matter” you brushed his tears out of his face. “You’re allowed to cry when you lose something important. We all know you’re tough and strong, and crying sometimes won’t change that”

“Thank you” he sniffed, still holding you close to him. “I don’t deserve you”

“Don’t be silly. Took you twenty years to realise that?”

You tried to make him giggle, but Trent only shook his head.

“No. I’ve always known” he looked you in the eyes, so intense that you felt like he was seeing you naked again.

When Dianne opened the door to check on you, you cleared your throat.

“I’ll go home, spend some time with mom. But I see you later, yeah?” you smiled, and Trent only nodded, reluctantly letting go of you.

“I was just thinking-” he stuttered, and you stroked his chin.

“It’s okay, Trentie. Don’t worry” you reassured him. Your best friend looked at you with a lost expression and you tiptoed to kiss his cheek. “I won’t lose you because we made a mistake, it’ll be like nothing ever happened. Just me and you again”

Even though you didn’t want it to be like it never happened, you knew it was necessary for your friendship to survive. Not acknowledging that you had sex with your childhood best friend would make him stay as your childhood best friend.

“How many days are you staying?”

“Two weeks. I won’t run from you, Trent” you giggled, but the insecurity in his eyes made you stop. He could be feeling it in a different way, but it was clear that what happened affected him too. “I’ll stop by your house Wednesday, alright?”

When Dianne asked him if he was leaving with them, he quickly nodded and kissed your forehead.

“See ya then” he murmured, leaving you alone with your thoughts and that weird feeling in your stomach.

—

The few days with your family were much needed. You were excited to tell them about the things you hadn’t had the time to say on the phone yet, and your mother wanted to know everything.

If you were seeing someone, how’s the college, your favourite italian meals. Everything. Your mother wanted to know all the details, while dad was focused on hugging you like you could disappear.

In three nights straight, you all had dinner together before grabbing sweet treats for a sleepover in the living room, watching movies together and sleeping with your parents like you were eight years old. It was the best three nights you had for a while.

On Wednesday morning you woke up lazily, trying to kill time so it would take you longer to see Trent.

When your mother knocked on the door to call you for breakfast, you groaned for her to enter the room.

“I want to talk about something…” you murmured as soon as it was just you and her, and she smiled whilst sitting on the bed.

“Of course, my sweet girl. We can talk about anything”

You took a deep breath and changed to a sitting position, avoiding her eyes to muster up the courage and only looking at her when you felt ready to talk.

“Do you remember when Trent visited me last month?”

Your eyes full of tears explained everything she needed to know.

“Oh, Y/N…” she quickly embraced you in her arms. “Have you guys kissed?”

“I wish” you let your tears fall, not having the strength to hold it and wanting your mother to comfort you. “It was so much worse”

So you told her everything. From the silly and drunk kisses you both would share every party to him saying you shouldn’t have gone too far. The month without talking to them and having to pretend nothing happened for the sake of your friendship.

When she was about to answer you, someone knocked on the bedroom’s door.

“Uhm” your father cleared his throat whilst already entering the room, scaring you and your mother. “Excuse me”

“Were you hearing behind the door?” you looked at him with a shocked expression, immediately feeling shy.

“I’m sorry” he gave you an apologetic smile. “But if you allow me to stick my nose on your business for a bit, I have some opinions about that”

“Dad…” you felt ashamed. The last thing you wanted was your father talking about your sex life, even though he had always been chill about the subject.

“Y/N, I know you’re not my little girl anymore. That’s ok, we did our best to raise you for these moments, to the world. But I can’t hear all that you said and stay quiet. All I have to say is, don’t be unfair to Trent”

“What do you mean?” you frowned, wiping the tears from your face.

“That as much as you’re afraid of losing your best friend, he might be too. That what you thought was rejection could be simply fear” your father sat on the bed beside you, hugging you closer.

“Why would you think that when he clearly said he couldn’t do this?” you rested your head on his shoulder.

“It was how we started” your mother shyly answered. “We were best friends and one night, there was this party… we had too many drinks and it happened”

You never knew that. Actually, the only thing your parents told you about how they met was that your mother has been hard to conquer, and you also never asked about it. You always thought that they’d tell you in their own time.

“The next morning your mother woke up terrified and told me we shouldn’t have done that. I remember that she was picking up her clothes from the floor and saying that we crossed a line that shouldn’t be crossed” he chuckled. “We were scared, you know? I was scared that she didn’t like me that way and that’s why she ran, when actually she ran because she thought I slept with her just because I got carried away”

“But-” you tried to argue, but your father cut you.

“If we haven’t talked later and opened up, besides not being a couple today I’m pretty sure the friendship wouldn’t have survived. Look how funny, we were running away from our feelings so we wouldn’t ruin what we had, but running can be exactly the reason for you both to fall apart”

“I don’t know” you sighed, and your mother’s hand immediately started to rub your back.

“You don’t need to talk about that right now, Y/N” she comforted you. “Do it in your own time, but if we can give you any advice, it is for you to do it before going back to Italy. Distance is cruel, and paired with miscommunication can cause irreparable damage”

You stayed in silence for a few minutes, letting the new informations sink in.

“I’ll think… I’ll think about it” you nodded, cleaning your face again. “Gotta face him now tho, so if you excuse me”

Your parents giggled, and gave them a hug before getting in the shower to quickly get ready, suddenly wanting to be there soon.

Wearing a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, you tied your hair in a ponytail before applying sunscreen, and borrowed your father’s car.

After the quick ride, you nervously rang Trent’s doorbell, and Marcel excitedly opened it to you.

“Y/N!” he screamed, and with all the fear and nerves directed to Trent you ended up forgetting that his family also hadn’t seen you for six months, and you couldn’t talk much during the match. “You’re taller?”

“Oh, shut up Marcel. You don’t need to remind me that you’re like the Eiffel tower” you giggled, hugging him tight.

“Why did you scream Y/N’s name?” Trent showed up at the door, wearing only his sleep shorts. Nothing you hadn’t seen before, but you still felt your cheeks getting hot at the sight of him.

He stopped in his tracks, looking at you like you were a ghost.

“Hi?” you giggled, finding it amusing how he blinked his eyes slowly.

“Oh” his smile grew wilder, and he soon was pushing Marcel to the side so he could give you a hug.

“That’s not fair, you’re not the only one that missed her” Marcel complained, but Trent was pretty good at ignoring the youngest.

“Let him be, Marcel. You know he’s a bit possessive” you could hear Dianne’s voice.

“The thing is that he’s not, mum. That’s the Y/N effect” Marcel complained, following his mother to the kitchen.

Trent engulfed you in his arms, and it was like the world didn’t exist anymore. You couldn’t hear his family nor the cars on the street. The only thing your ears could focus on was his steady heartbeat.

“As much as I love your hugs, I’m freezing” you giggled, but Trent only inverted your bodies so now you were inside the house. “And I don’t want you naked on the street, you’ll get sick”

“I’ll get sick or you’re being jealous?” he giggled, closing the door without breaking the hug. “I missed you”

“I missed you too” you ignored the first part, laughing when he started to walk while still hugging you.

“She won’t disappear if you let her go” Michael teased him from up the stairs.

“Hi uncle Mike” you yelped when Trent took you off the ground and walked into the living room.

“Hi Y/N, don’t let the boys bother you too much” he smiled whilst crossing the room and blowing you a kiss. “Stay for dinner so we can talk, I’ll be right back”

You nodded awkwardly since Trent was on top of you, your body pressed against the sofa whilst he snuggled you.

“I missed you” he murmured, and you felt warm inside. No matter what you say to yourself, having Trent’s attention would always make you giddy and soft. “I missed you so much”

“Missed you too buddy, but you’ll crush my bones” you giggled when he finally pulled away so you could breathe.

“You know what, you should come with me to Monaco” he smiled, proud of his idea. “So we can spend some time together”

You sat on the sofa, carefully thinking about what he said.

“Oh, I don’t know. Don’t wanna ruin your boys trip” you told him honestly. “It’s your time off after a long season”

Trent sat next to you, and you rested your face on his shoulder.

“Cmon, you only have two weeks off and I don’t want to spend one of them far away from you. It’ll be fun, Tyler and Marcel will love having you around for a few days”

Suddenly coming from the kitchen, Marcel threw himself besides Trent.

“Yeah Y/N, come with us. It’s a brother's trip, and you’re like a sister. At least to some of us” he chuckled, and you straightened your body to frown at him.

“Shut up” Trent scolded his brother, and soon they were pushing each other and playfully fighting.

Dianne came out of the kitchen, giving them a flat look.

“Boys, Y/N didn’t come here to see this” she sighed. “They look like five years old, don’t they? Come here darling, help me out with the cupcakes”

You happily followed her into the kitchen. Her energy has always embraced yours, and after your mum, Dianne is the oldest woman you like to talk to the most.

“Oh, Y/N! We missed you so much, darling” she smiled softly, taking the cupcakes out of the oven. “How’s Italy? Everything you ever dreamed about?”

“Italy is good, Di” you smiled back, smelling the cakes. “They just don’t have…”

“Trent” she put them in front of you, giggling.

Sometimes, his mother knows you too well for your liking.

“Yeah” you admitted shyly.

Taking the coloured buttercream frosting she gave you, you started to decorate the cupcakes.

“Is everything alright between you two?” she asked tenderly. “He’s been really upset about himself lately and the only thing he’d say to me is that he had upset you”

“Yeah, we had a bit of a bickering moment” you shrugged. “Friendships are like that, but I’m sure we’ll talk about it once we’re ready. We always do”

Dianne nodded, and you knew she didn’t want to stick her nose in your friendship. She just cares too much.

“You know he loves you” she brought you some sprinkles.

“I love him too” you smiled. “Trent is my favourite person, you know. He just can be hard sometimes. To read, to understand”

She sat next to you and grabbed a cupcake to decorate it herself.

“To love?” she teased. You shook your head, biting your lips so the few tears wouldn’t spill.

“Trent was never hard to love. I think it’s quite the opposite, actually. He must have a hard time loving me” you murmured, but Dianne stayed quiet.

“You were never hard to love either” his voice made you jump, immediately shy of being caught. “What do we have for dinner tonight, mum?”

His arms circled your waist, and Trent hugged you tight against his chest. The heat on your face wasn’t unusual at this point, and he seemed to be the king in making your cheeks burn.

“Homemade pizza. I would’ve changed it if you had warned me Y/N was coming, poor girl probably eats pizza every day for the last six months” she gave you an apologetic look but you only laughed.

“It’s ok, Di. I love your pizza” you smiled. When you were younger, both of your families would reunite once a week to eat her pizza, and in the end it always looked like a party, full of people, laughters and happiness.

“And we also have my cupcakes for the dessert” Trent said excitedly, the pure joy in his voice making you smile. You leaned back so your head would rest on his shoulder, and he gave your forehead a quick peck.

“You baked them?” your shocked tone made Dianne laugh, and Trent looked at you with a false offended expression.

“Surprised?” he murmured in your ear, and you tried not to choke in your own spit.

“Di, are you sure I have to stay for dinner?” you joked, laughing when Trent’s fingers started to squeeze your waist.

Soon Michael was home, and after chatting with him about your classes and teachers, you shared a pizza with the Alexander-Arnold family.

Dianne also told you how Aura has changed their life’s, and the spark on Trent’s eyes was impossible not to see.

After tasting his cupcakes and having to admit they were pretty good, you had to say goodbye to your second family, promising to try and visit as soon as possible.

Later that night in your old room, you wore one of your favourite hoodies of Trent that you shamelessly brought from his house, pretending you were too cold to come back home without one, and his smell instantly engulfed you.

You came to Liverpool focused on forgetting your feelings and determined to get back at what you and Trent were before all of this, but watching his smile, his body lazily thrown on the sofa and how his soft eyes would look at you ruined you all over again.

On the other hand, he seemed like he couldn’t stay away from you either, his arms always hugging you, his pinky touching yours over the dinner table. His longing and lingering stares.

You groaned, grabbing your pillow and burying your face in it before screaming frustratedly. Now more than ever, it was clear for you that you weren't able to be only his friend. That you would always want more.

But you had promised him this, that things would be like nothing ever happened, and your friendship deserved a try.

Your father’s words hammered in your head, and if you were being honest with yourself you knew the pair of you needed to have an honest conversation, but the fear wouldn’t let you ask him for it.

If you make the decision alone, you know what it implies — you’ll have to suppress your feelings for him, forever. But as soon as Trent enters this conversation, he can choose to cut all the ties.

You know Trent too well, and this means knowing that by not feeling the same as you he wouldn’t want to be friends whilst you were in love. This would mean hurt you a lot, and he could never.

Squirming in bed, you tried your best to fall asleep and have a break from your thoughts, but his face refused to leave your mind. Giving up, you texted him exactly what he wanted to read.

—

You were sure you looked like a child.

Everything was so glamorous and fancy, and you were truly excited to be experiencing the most classic Formula One Grand Prix.

The cars were huge, the atmosphere unbelievable. You felt like you were at Disneyland, but made for adults with an unhealthy love for cars.

You felt at home, the engine sounds reaching deep in your heart and you knew you couldn’t be happier.

Tyler and Marcel decided to take a few pictures whilst you and Trent went to the Alpine box so he could see the team before the first session.

You gladly noted that things weren’t awkward between you both, and you soon started to talk about the old times when the pair of you would watch races together.

Suddenly you heard someone shout for Trent followed with a whistle, and immediately prayed that it wasn’t a fan.

You love them, you really do, but since you started to show up more at the games and with his family they were usually rude to you, and you were having a really perfect weekend.

Gladly for you, the pair of you turned around to face Ben and Mason, and Trent happily greeted them with a hug.

“No red bull garage this year?” Mason teased, talking about when they met in the same garage.

“Oh you know, I’m here for business” Trent chuckled, showing them the Alpine paddock pass and the boys playfully whistled. “This is Y/N, my best friend”

“So this is the Y/N” Mason’s eyes twinkled and he shook your hand. “Nice to meet you”

“Trent talks a lot about you” Ben also shook your hand, smiling politely.

You smiled at then, feeling your face heating up at the mention of Trent talking about you.

“But he never told us you’re this pretty” Mason playfully smirked, making you giggle.

“Can I have a word with you, Mason?” Trent motioned his head, making Ben laugh.

“I’ll take Mr. Flirty Mount out of here before the news needs to report the England boys were fighting in Monaco. See you, guys” he chuckled, dragging Mason away whilst he’d blow kisses to you.

You laughed, shaking your head and facing Trent.

“Remember when you told me guys don’t like you romantically?” he snorted. “And now I have to kick them away from you”

“Mason wasn’t flirting” you told him. “He was trying to play with you and get under your skin, hitting on your best friend”

“Y/N, if I wasn’t here to say he’s not allowed to get closer to you in a romantic or sexual way Mason would’ve asked for your number and obviously tried to take you out and God knows what more. Now that he’s close enough I can’t take the risk, that man should’ve stayed in London”

You stared at him with a serious look in your eyes.

“I’d never get involved with someone from your workspace. You know I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but even if you didn’t kicked him away Mason would just do like all the others and disappear after a while”

“The others… you say like, the ones I also had to kick?” Trent chuckled before your confused expression made him gulp. “Looook, a car! Wow, plenty of cars. So many cars”

“You’ve been scaring my potential boyfriends away?” you crossed your arms, and Trent started to walk to Alpine’s box.

“Guilty! I didn’t want you to date any of them. I’m sorry, but they weren’t good enough for you, Y/N” he shrugged, turning around to check if you were following him.

“Since when is up to you to decide?” you raised an eyebrow, but your light tone showed Trent you weren't about to kill him.

He gave you your favourite smile, when he bites his lower lip in tries to stop smiling, but then his smile slowly shows up. It’s pretty and sensual and makes you want to lean forward and kiss him.

“See, I’m your best friend. I know what’s good for you, and they weren’t. That’s all! I’m a guy and I know other guys, I was just protecting my incredible friend” he blinked, reaching out his hand for you to take.

“Well, thank you then. But I’d appreciate it if instead of kicking the ones that aren’t good enough, you could find me someone good enough” you hugged his arm, resting your face on his bicep.

“The only one good enough for you is me” Trent poked your nose before waving to what you presumed was one of the racing drivers. “Esteban, hi!”

—

After the events of the day, you decided to walk back to the hotel room you would stay in, whilst Trent and his brothers stayed to talk a bit.

Sharing the room was an obvious decision. You and Trent always shared a bed on every trip or when staying over someone’s house during teenagers parties.

You instantly got in the shower, and the hot water helped you to relax your tense muscles from walking around the paddock the whole day, but also from being next to Trent for so long.

You didn’t have where to run, and the lingering small touches were driving you crazy. You promised him that it’d be like nothing happened, but you weren’t so sure you’d be able to do that.

‘Look how funny, we were running away from our feelings so we wouldn’t ruin what we had, but running can be exactly the reason for you both to fall apart’, you remembered your dad’s words.

Sighing deeply, you finished your shower and dried your body, wearing Trent’s t-shirt you stole before entering the bathroom.

You couldn’t sleep without your skin care night routine, so you took your time to wash and moisturise your face, applying the simple version of your routine since you wouldn’t travel with all of your products.

After finishing it and brushing your hair, you left the bathroom. You were expecting Trent to stay out longer with his brothers, but as soon as you got out he was entering the room, and you froze in place.

“Thank you for staying with me” he smiled, closing the door behind him.

“Well, your brothers would find it weird if we didn’t share the room for the first time in fifteen years” you joked, but Trent frowned.

“That’s why you accepted? You wouldn’t share the room with me if Marcel and Tyler weren’t here?”

You sighed, not wanting to argue with him.

“You’re overthinking, Trent. I wouldn’t have accepted to come to Monaco with you if we weren’t on good terms”

“I had to beg you to come, Y/N. What’s wrong?” he asked you, exasperated. “Am I a bad fucker or what? Is this about Theo? Are you with him now?”

“This is not about how you- do it, Trent. And I already told you he’s just a friend, we’re not together”

He gave you an annoyed look, and you were about to say you could just share the room with Marcel instead when he opened his mouth.

“I’m just your friend as well and this doesn’t stop us from kissing each other once a month” he mumbled, his words making your body stiffen.

“So you remember?” you gasped, not believing the words he had just said.

“How the fuck could I forget” Trent’s voice was low, and is was obvious that confessioning it was taking everything in him. “Every time you kiss me is like the world makes sense. You make me feel alive and I hate that someone else can be feeling the same whilst I’m so fucking away”

Your mind started to spin, and you tried your best to keep breathing.

“You- what? Why you never told me?” you looked at him, your vision slightly blurred with tears. Trent stayed silent, and even though you know he’s not good with his words you expected him at least to try and defend himself. “Fuck you. How could you let me believe you didn’t know for all these months?”

“Listen-” he sighed, but you only shook your head.

“No, you listen. I’m tired” you wiped the tears from your face. “You can’t pretend you doesn’t know that we kissed multiple times and then act like you’re in love with me”

“But I am!” he ran his hand through his hair, but despite the hurt look in his eyes you weren’t willing to believe him.

“The only thing you are right now, Trent, is drunk. Just like every other time you thought you wanted something to do with me” your hurt voice tone made Trent’s heart drop, but at the same time he just wanted you to believe his words. “Just like how when you thought you wanted to fuck me”

He knew it was wrong to keep something like that from you, to pretend he didn’t know about your feelings for months, but he couldn’t change the past. The only thing he could try to do was explain himself but he had no idea where to start, and the fact he felt lost started to annoy him.

“Good. We can always blame Trent’s lil shot of vodka and his silly glass of beer” he raised his voice, exasperated. He knew it wasn’t your fault, but he was trying to open up for the first time since your first kiss and things weren’t going on as he planned. “We should just go to bed so you can forget we talked about this”

“You’re the one who likes to forget when something happens between us” you screamed back at him. “I used to wish you were fucking sober so you would remember you want me when you were not. You knew that? I used to pray for you to wake up once and still feels like kissing me”

His heart twisted in his chest at the sight of your tears.

“Why did you pretend you didn’t remember? You want me when you have more drinks than you should and when you wake up you realise you don’t?” your shaky voice hurt him. “Acting like it never happened has been killing me for months, just in order to not ruin things with you when in reality you knew all this time”

“So why did you say it back then?” his hands were on his neck, in an exasperated movement. “I never told you I remembered because I was afraid you didn’t want me to remember, Y/N. And then, the only time you were sure I did, you ghosted me only to come back saying exactly what I feared to hear. Why?”

“I don’t want the fact that I fucking want you to ruin our friendship, Arnold” you blurted out, instantly panic washing over you when Trent’s eyes widened. “Forget it. Forget, I’ll go to sleep. I don’t wanna talk about that”

“But I do. I need to talk about that” he held you by your wrist, not letting you get to the bed. “Please?”

“Do you need to talk about what, exactly? Why the fuck are you the one acting like I rejected you” you snapped, watching Trent frown at you.

You knew you needed to talk to him, and that you were doing exactly what your parents asked you not to, but the fact that he’d been lying to you changed everything.

“Because you did! You didn’t even let me explain what I was thinking that night. You didn’t let me talk before assuming that I didn’t want you”

You felt your face heating up, thinking that you had actually ran away from him.

“You told me we shouldn’t have done it” you murmured, playing with your fingers.

“Yeah, I did. But not in the way you understood” he snorted. “I was dizzy and lazy from my orgasm, and you didn’t give me any time to explain myself. I just- I don’t know why I said it, I should’ve kept shut. But the fact that I’d be going home hours after having you and we would spend God knows how much time apart from each other made me sick. Just slipped out of my mouth and you got it wrong”

“Oh” you bite the inside of your cheek, avoiding his eyes and suddenly too shy to argue.

“Yeah, oh. Then you ignored me for a whole fucking month. Not funny, Y/N”

“I’m sorry, but things weren’t clear, Trent. Can you try to see this from my perspective? You fucked your best friend from ages, but I slept with the only guy I’ve wanted since high school. When you said you couldn’t do that I felt so embarrassed. Naked in a hotel’s bed whilst the man that I love was saying he didn’t want that” you kept looking to the floor, feeling your heart twisting in your chest. “I told you pretty personal things once, Trent. I was honest and I was scared, and when you told me back I thought that that was when things were supposed to change”

“What are you talking about?” Trent walked towards you, his body gently pressing yours against the wall. He held your chin, tilting your head up to face his.

“That night at the England party before the camp, when you flirted with that girl. I told you things” you murmured, not wanting to repeat that you told him you loved him in a different way. “And when you said it back I thought that we-”

“Fuck, the National Team party? You chose the only day I was actually drunk to tell me things?” his forehead dropped to yours, his hand stroking your chin. You closed your moist eyes and Trent observed your face. “We’ll, I’ve told you things too. At your farewell party” he giggled. “I told you pretty personal things, and when you said it back…”

You were back at avoiding his gaze, but his gentle grip on your chin forced you to face his shining and soft eyes again.

After a minute of looking at each other, Trent picked you up and quickly walked the pair of you to the bed, laying you there before getting comfortable on top of you and between your legs.

“You know I’m not good with words, but since you told me you love me I think I should say how I feel about you” he brushed his nose against your neck, the suddenly comfortable atmosphere making you smile. “You seem to have no idea of that, but being around you is the best thing to ever happen to me. You’re like breathing pure air after inhaling smoke, Y/N. When I see you I know I can finally relax. No worries. I don’t need to pay attention to what I’m saying, I don’t need to worry if you’ll understand me. I can be myself. You’ve seen my flaws and my qualities, and you haven’t run away not for once. My mind is at peace when I look at you, but then my heart is pretty different. So disturbed. You settle me but then you’re not mine, and one day you’ll be settling someone else. It terrifies me to the point I can’t breathe sometimes”

Trent said it all in a low and controlled tone, like he was forcing the words to come out. Without breaking eye contact, you cupped his face and stroked his cheeks and let him continue.

“I- in Italy, I was so angry and I’m sorry. I've been hoping that what happened wouldn’t change what we are because the mere idea of losing you makes me sick” he sighed, making you smile softly. “But at the same time I need it to change. I just can’t be your best friend anymore. I want to touch you like that. And kiss you, and hold you”

You felt your cheeks getting warm and that weird feeling on the pit of your stomach. The uncertainty about the future, the fear. But also the hope of having the only boys you always wanted.

“We’re kinda friends with benefits at this point” you joked, but Trent huffed.

“I’m not here for friends with benefits, Y/N. It never works. I want all or nothing” his lips brushed against yours. “Be my girlfriend”

Your eyes widened at his words, but Trent only leaned against your palm, his softly gaze analysing your expression whilst patiently waiting for an answer.

You didn’t need to think much about it, but you appreciated that he let you take your time to picture what that would mean for the pair of you.

“Like- like a girlfriend? You girlfriend?”

“Unless you’re already dating someone else” he teased you. “But I’m way better than him, so if you are then you should break up with your boyfriend”

“I couldn’t date anyone else that’s not you, I’m afraid” you shyly admitted, making Trent giggle.

“I wonder how would you explain a possessive and jealous guy that does everything with you and cuddle and snuggle and wear you on his clothes, cook for you, drive for you, pick your movies and likes to kiss you” he kissed your chin, and only then you understood what he meant back at your fight about Theo.

Trent didn’t want Theo to know he had no chance. He wanted Theo to know that, if he wanted to date you, he’d have to accept your best friend that looks like your boyfriend. Just like how he does with the girls he chats.

Maybe, just maybe, that’s why none of you ever had a long and lasting relationship with anyone else.

“You eased things for me a lot” you smiled. “Now I just need to say that the jealous guy is my boyfriend”

Trent tilted his head. “It sounds good, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah” you murmured, trying to bite back a smile. “It sounds really good”

Different from the kiss that night in Italy, Trent gently pecked your lips and waited for you to make the first move. Rolling your eyes playfully, you pulled him closer by his neck before kissing him.

His lips touched yours gently, caring and lovingly. Slowly opening them, Trent let his tongue slide inside of your mouth, fighting with yours for dominance.

The hand on your waist kept rubbing circles and caressing your skin underneath your hoodie, his fingers constantly bumping into your panties’ strap.

You couldn’t have enough of him, and when you tried to get him even closer, scratching the back of his neck, Trent groaned into your mouth and pressed his hips forward.

The feeling of his semi hard crotch pressed against your core made your mind go blank. You opened your mouth to moan and he took the opportunity to turn your kiss into a sloppy one, biting and licking your lips.

“Let me take care of you. Real care of you this time” he murmured against your jaw, pressing even further against you. “Please”

“We can’t right now” you told him, but his only response was to suck your neck in a way that got you squirming beneath him. “Trent-”

“I’m dying to feel you, baby. I’ve been dreaming about you, every night. I wake up sweating and hard as fuck and all I wanna do is to beg you to take care of me” he whispered. “I swear I’ll be a good boy, please?”

You gulped, incapable of denying that his words got you close to the edge.

“But your brothers-”

“Just be quiet f’me” he whispered, kisses trailing down your neck. When his hand found your bare chest, you knew it was over for you.

“I can’t be quiet with you” you whispered in a desperate tone that immediately got Trent chuckling, his thumb slowly stroking your nipple.

“Guess you’ll need to try” he pulled away to look at you and smirk.

You cupped his face, stroking his chin and staring into his eyes.

“This is different, right? Than the last time”

Trent stopped his teasing and leaned down to give you the softest kiss you ever had, his lips touching yours like he was afraid he could hurt you.

“I’m truly sorry for what happened, and I’m truly sorry for panicking when I should’ve seen you were just as scared as me” he murmured, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “But I didn’t lie, Y/N. I want you, and I think we can make it work. You know me like nobody else, and I like to think I know you too”

“You do” you quickly nodded, your heart warm with love.

Trent’s gaze made you feel like he could see your naked soul, his dark and big eyes showing you they were ready to be honest with you.

“You’re everything I need. You make my tummy flutter and my dick hard and every time I get home I wish I could hug you through the night” he told you sincerely, making you laugh. “Don’t laugh at me, baby”

“I’m not. Sorry, it was just cute”

You bit your lips, still trying to hold your giggles.

“Oh, you think it’s cute when I say you make me hard? I’m starting to think you’re a bit naughty, Y/N” he poked your waist, and you laughed harder. “I mean it when I say I want you to be my girlfriend, and I need you to know I’m being serious. I know we’re both tired though, so we can talk better when you’re ready, yeah?”

Hw kissed your forehead and motioned to get off of you, but you didn’t want that.

“No” you protested, hugging his shoulders to make him stay.

“You wanna sleep like this?” his soft voice made your tummy flutter, and you almost felt bad for all the filthy thoughts running through your mind when he was talking so sweetly. Almost.

“I’m wet and bothered because of you, Alexander” you whispered, tugging your fingers in his hair. “You’re fucking me tonight”

Trent raised his eyebrows at you, surprised by your attitude, and licked his lips.

“Am I?” he murmured, his eyes falling to your lips. You scratched the back of his head, pulling him closer so you could gently bite his lower lip. “I’m def fucking you tonight”

You giggled, circling his waist with your legs, and he groaned, hand slipping underneath your t-shirt again.

It wasn’t long until his face was between your legs. Trent kissed your inner thigh, holding eye contact. Lazily brushing his nose against your skin, giving it little bites before kissing your core over your panties’ fabric.

When you raised your hips for him to take it off, Trent cursed under his breath.

“I’m wet enough, babe” you whispered, the pet name falling from your lips like it’s something constant.

Trent raised his head to look at you, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

“Said it again” he asked, his body on top of yours again.

You smiled, biting your lip. “I’m wet enough?”

“No, the other thing” his lips brushed against yours, his low voice making you shiver whilst your entire body screamed for him.

“Babe?” you repeated innocently, smiling when he rested hus forehead on your shoulder.

“God” he tucked his head in your neck, kissing your skin. “Gonna moan like that for me?”

“If you make me” you murmured, pride washing over you when he tightened his grip on your waist. “Are you good?”

“I said it once, but I never thought you could be such a brat” he mumbled, taking a deep breath. “I’m having trouble to control my own body”

“Aw” you lovingly mocked him. “Then don’t”

Trent chuckled, pulling away so he could take your panties off, and the way he looked at you made you feel a bit shy under his gaze even though he had already seen you naked.

He wanted you, and you could see how much just by the way his dark eyes travelled your body, his tongue poking out to lick his lips at the sight of you uncovered.

“So fucking pretty. And you know that” he caressed your waist, eyes meeting yours.

Even though you never saw yourself as an ugly girl and that a few guys often had told you how gorgeous they thought you were, it was the first time you actually believed that another person could see you as profoundly as you see yourself.

You could feel in his voice tone how Trent actually thought you were this beautiful, how much he liked to look at you. And how he meant it.

“Someone might have told me that once” you shrugged, smiling when he rolled his eyes.

“I did” he pecked your lips before slightly biting your chin. “And you were moaning my name a few seconds later”

You giggled, kissing himin sequence. It was still weird for you how his lips fit into yours so well, how they were able to make you weak.

When he pulled away with an erratic breath, you smirked and laid down again.

“You’re wearing too much clothes” you teased, and Trent raised his eyebrows before getting off of you and starting to strip.

He took the white t-shirt off, letting you admire his arms and chest before unbuttoning his pants, taking it off along with his boxers.

You cursed loudly, catching Trent’s attention.

“I don’t think you’ll fit, Alexander” you chuckled, but knowing you damn well he could say you were scared straight away.

“I know it looks like it but I’m not that big”

It was a lie. You licked your lips whilst watching him touching himself a few times before wearing the condom, getting ready for you.

“You’re huge, babe” you whispered. “Insanely big”

You could see him getting flustered, his shy eyes meeting yours whilst he walked towards you again.

“Stop” he groaned, and the sight of his large hands teasing his angry tip made you feel warm. Everywhere.

“You’re not only big, Trentie. You’re thick” you raised your eyebrows, biting back a moan. “Fuck, you’re so hot”

Trent bit his lips shyly, and you were amazed with your capacity of making him shy. Tapping the bed, you waited for him to crawl in your direction, settling between your legs.

“Which position do you want?” you smirked when he was on top of you again. You could feel him against your thigh, the desperation growing wilder.

“I feel like I should be the one asking this” he chuckled. “But I’d like our first time to be missionary, if you allow me”

You’d allow him anything at this point, you wanted to say.

“Any special reason?” you stroked his cheek, quickly pecking his lips.

Trent brushed a strand of hair out of your face, looking at you like you were holding the moon.

“I liked the look in your eyes when you were almost there that night. I want to see how you’ll look at me whilst I’m hitting you good” he kissed your chin, the feeling of him pressed against you making you let out a small cry.

Trent didn’t lost time in guiding himself to tease you, sliding his tip through your folds and tapping it against your clit.

He wasn’t the type to praise a lot, and instead of words he used his actions very well, every touch of him working you up even more.

When you sighed, he slowly slid it to your core and slightly thrusted forward, a small moaning falling from his lips.

“Trentie-” you whined, making him kiss you to silence you.

“I haven’t even started yet and you’re already falling apart?” Trent teased you, his forehead against yours whilst he pushed himself further.

It took you a while to adjust to him. Not that you were a saint, but you didn’t hook up with half Italy either, and as much as it was good to feel him it was also uncomfortable.

“Why are you tense baby?” he kissed your hairline, trying his best to stay still.

You sighed, debating on telling him or not.

“It’s been a while- I’m not as experienced as you”

Truth be told, you were terrified you wouldn’t be to him as good as he was to you.

“Y/N, c’mon” he trailed kisses down your face. “It’s just me, baby. Your Trentie”

“I know, but this is such a new thing to us” you pouted, making him smile.

“Love how you’re able to go from a brat to a baby. The duality of a woman” he brushed his nose against your cheek, and you giggled.

“Sorry, I’m ruining it. You’ll be soft again in a second” you joked, but Trent only pressed his hip further.

“Are you listening to yourself right now? Your personality is exactly what turned me on to this point” he adjusted himself slightly, and you couldn’t help but moan.

“Move” you asked him quietly, murmuring. “Please, Trent”

The sensation was overwhelming. Not only the pleasure of having sex, but the euphoria of having sex with him.

With your boy, who knows you so well, who waits patiently for you to adjust around him, who makes you moan with just a touch of his strong but ever so gentle hands.

Trent kept his slow pace, enjoying how he could feel every inch of you whilst groaning and moaning in your ear.

“God, you feel so good” he murmured, leaning to kiss your jaw. “So fucking tight around me, just how I imagined you’d be”

His words made your head spin, the goosebumps down your spine making you moan.

“You really thought about this before?” you whispered, digging your nails into his shoulder.

Trent giggled, biting your shoulder lovingly. “A lot”

You closed your eyes, and knowing that he was enjoying let you totally relax your body. Feeling the difference, he increased the pace and changed the angle.

It didn’t take long for you to feel that weird and hazy sensation in the pitch of your stomach, your toes curling whilst you dropped your head on the pillow.

“Trent, babe” you murmured, trying to be quiet. “I’m-”

He looked at your fucked up expression, your swollen lips and the messy hair around your face, feeling proud of the state he got you in.

“Does that feel good?” his lips brushed against yours whilst he pounded into you. “I know it does by the way you’re clenching around me, but I’d like to hear you say”

“It feels so good” you whined, sobbing when he pressed his palm against your lower stomach. “It feels so fucking good, it makes me wanna scream”

Arching your back so you could feel him closer, you repeatedly whispered his name, like a song Trent would never get tired of hearing.

“I can’t hold it anymore, Trentie” you cried out, scratching his neck and biting his shoulder in tries to keep quiet.

“Uhm, my pretty girl” he kissed you softly, his tongue invading your mouth, so lazily and caring. “Let go f’me, princess”

Your high hit you with an unknown intensity,

“You squeezed the life out of me” he kissed your temple, getting on his feet to discard the condom.

Coming back from the bathroom, he laid on top of you, sighing when your fingers started to scratch his scalp.

“Gonna sound cliche” he groaned, kissing your shoulder. “But you have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of this”

“In any of your dreams, it happened in Monaco?” you chuckled, yawning in sequence. “And if yes, we made it to the race? I feel like sleeping the whole day”

“We should take a shower and get some sleep” Trent murmured, and even though you agreed with him, none of you moved a finger.

“This is real, right?” you whispered, the answer already sparkling in his eyes when he looked at you. “I’m scared” you admitted, your heart beating wildly in your chest and the knot on your throat immediately showing up. “What if we can’t make it? What if we fight really bad one day and you’ll be sure there’s no way out of it? What if we broke up and things won’t ever be the same and it’ll ruin our family’s friendship. And I’ll probably have to see you walking around with an ugly model as your new bag”

“Shhh, I wouldn’t let that happen” he changed to a sit position, bringing you closer and holding you tight.

He ran his hand on your back, and you took deep breaths before replying.

“You can’t promise me that” you murmured against his shoulder.

Trent took a few seconds to speak, tilting your head up so you would see his eyes.

“I promise you, Y/N, I would never, ever, walk around with an ugly model” he chuckled, stopping when you hit his arm. “We’ll, I’m promising you that right now, baby” he murmured. “I’m forever yours, and nothing will be able to ruin this. I’ll never let anything get in between us”

—

After a quick shower and some sleep, you almost couldn’t wake up in the morning. Trent used the bathroom first before gently calling you so you could get ready for the day, and after half an hour you were able to win the battle.

When you left the bathroom, you watched Trent looking at himself in the mirror, adjusting his beige overall.

“Are you wearing this?” you frowned, feeling like one of those toxic boyfriends.

“What, you don’t like it?” he turned around to face you, and you instantly cursed yourself from opening your mouth when you were met with uncertainty in his eyes.

You shook your head, quickly walking towards him.

“No, is not that. You look really good” you hugged his neck. “You just look too good for my concern”

His shoulders relaxed and he let out the cutest giggle in the world, holding your waist.

“That shouldn’t be a good thing?”

“We’re in Monaco, Trent. And you’re a footballer. I can only imagine the amount of girls that’ll throw themselves at you” you frowned, but he only shrugged.

“Unfortunately for them, I only care about one girl”

You rolled your eyes playfully, leaning to kiss him when a loud knock on the door made you pull away. Trent groaned before gently pulling you close by your neck until your lips were brushing against his.

“Priorities, princess. They can wait” he pecked your lips, trailing kisses down your jaw and your neck. It wasn’t long until you felt your knees getting weak.

Gently sucking and biting the spot underneath your ear, Trent groaned when a small moan slipped through your lips.

“I think the race isn’t that important” he mumbled, kissing you gently and slowly, the urge of pulling you even closer making his grip tighter on your waist.

When one of his brothers knocked on the door again, Trent pulled away and huffed.

“The sooner we leave the sooner we get back” he whispered, grabbing your hand and walking to the door, only stopping so you could pick up your bag on the bed.

When he opened the door, Tyler and Marcel were looking back at you.

“Wow, Y/N. You look like you don’t sleep for days” Marcel teased your appearance as soon as you left the room.

“Me and Trent kept gossiping until morning” you yawned, grabbing the coffee Tyler handed to you. “I’m starting to regret it”

When Marcel and Trent started to walk a few steps in front of you two, the eldest brother passed his arm over your shoulder.

“You know I’m old enough to recognise a man who had sex when I see one” he giggled, and your heart instantly dropped.

“Tyler-” you gasped, but he shook his head and squeezed your body against his.

“No, no. I’m glad it happened. You make him happy like nothing else does, Y/N. I won’t tell anyone until you two are ready, but I wanted to tell you myself how happy I am to have you around and looking out for my little brother. Trent had some bad and tough moments, especially when it comes to love, but I trust you. And I trust him to take care of such a special girl like you”

You smiled shyly, his words making you feel safe and loved.

“Thank you” you smiled, hugging his waist. “You know I’m also happy to be around your family”

“Oh, just wait until you’re officially part of it then” he chuckled, the sound getting Trent’s attention.

Your boy turned around, frowning at the sight of you two laughing.

“Hey, can you get away from my girl please” Trent shouted, walking back to you and grabbing your hand.

“You’re so dramatic” Tyler rolled his eyes before looking at you again. “Good luck with this one, you gonna need it”

Trent snorted, putting you beside him. His hand slipped into your jean’s pocket, and you tried to bite a smile.

“Your girl?” you teased. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Of course I wanna do this. There's a better place to have paparazzi couple pictures than the Monaco GP?” he kissed your cheek. “Yeah, I’m totally sure. Want them to know you’re mine. The only one I want when I’m happy and when I’m sad, when I’m sleepy or when I’m awake. The one I want when I’m drunk and when I’m sober”

“And the one that makes you talk like you’re twelve years old” Marcel rolled his eyes, slapping Trent’s head and making you laugh. “Never saw you talking like that”

“Man is in love, Marcel. Let him” Tyler came to the rescue, but soon he was teasing along. “Wait for him to have his own kid and you’ll see him reach his peak of foolishness”

“God, Tyler. I got the girl yesterday and you’re trying to scare her already” he looked really annoyed, and you tried to hold your giggles so you wouldn’t ruin his mood. “C’mon baby, let’s get out of here”

“C’mon baby” Marcel mimicked him, extending his hand to grab Tyler’s.

“Let’s get out of here” the eldest joined him, both erupting in giggles whilst Trent guided you to Alpine’s box, soon finding a corner where he could kiss you as if the pair of you didn’t have a race to watch.

For the rest of the day you walked around the paddock with Trent. Fingers intertwined, kisses exchanged and vows of love quietly spoken against each other’s mouth.

[beetlejuicyy]

based on Hashira Training Arc ep. 5; I can't get this week's episode off my mind

w/c: 1.1k

find me on AO3 | masterlist

divider @enanet

summary: As Sanemi's wife, you try not to intervene in his relationship with his little brother. However, he had crossed the line this time.

Sanemi's favorite moment of the day was exactly now, during these two short hours at sunset, right after dinner. His day was full of training the demon slayer corps while his night was dedicated to his own training, fighting fellow hashira. That left exactly two hours in between for you, his wife. You were gone for most of the day lately, since training so many people was turning his yard into a battlefield, loud and dirty. You also knew he was rather harsh in his teachings, so it was best to give him space to do his duty while minding your own business.

"What's wrong with you?" Sanemi finally asked when you refused to let him lay his head on your lap.

It was the usual unwinding ritual of his day, eat your delicious food and relax under your touch, his features softened, his voice gentle, his touch careful and loving. But today you seemed cold. He tried to ignore all the signs until you put a book in your lap, just as he was sitting down next to you on the porch. This was Sanemi's last straw.

"What is wrong with you?!" You've never been this angry with him, at least you've never showed it so far. After the terrible day he had this was the last thing he needed, a moody wife.

"You're the one barely talking." Sanemi pointed out. He picked the book from your lap and put it away, annoyed. "You're the one choosing a stupid book instead of your husband."

"How was training today, Sanemi?" You asked, at last. It was the first question you asked him everyday, although the tone was different now. Accusing, angry and patronizing.

"Thanks for asking." He inssisted on expressing his bitterness before answering. "It was great."

"Was the part where you almost blinded your little brother for life great?"

Shock took over your husband's appearance, as his eyes widened, his hand frozen in the air, not daring to touch you anymore. You never got into their fights. Fight was a word not so suited for their relationship anyway. You tried to understand that Sanemi's behaviour was rooted in his own trauma while still trying to console and protect Genya as much as you could. But today, when Tanjiro of all people approached you on your way back home to tell you, you couldn't withstand it any longer.

"So the brat finally started snitching on me?"

The weight of your palm would have left a large red spot on his cheek if Sanemi wouldn't have swiftly caught your wrist when you almost slapped him. Tears were blurring your vision but you didn't want to let them fall. So you yanked your hand away from his grip, sniffing and trying to hold them back. Your husband had no idea how he was supposed to act, so he stood there, guilt and pity intertwined in his eyes as looked at you.

"Genya admires you the most, you idiot!" You wiped your tears away as you spoke. "He would never tell me anything bad about you, no matter how poorly you treat him." Sanemi's eyes could only dart towards the floor, his hands clenched in tight fists. "He only has you, how can you tell him you have no little brother? How can you seriously attack him? You know you're much stronger. How can you tell him to quit? All he wants is to be like you!" Accusations flew out of your mouth like daggers, stabbing him one after the other, forcing him to remember and see his actions from another point of view. "Have you..." Your voice broke off halfway as you voiced your  last thought, and your pain made him look up at you, worried. "Have you no heart?" You couldn't contain your tears anymore. Not when your mind was full of the contradiction between the man that was your husband and the man that was an older brother. How could he be so patient, so loving, so considerate with you yet be such a monster towards his own little brother?

A loud voice inside Sanemi's head was screaming to comfort you, to reassure you that he had a heart indeed and it all of it belonged to you. But, as small and helpless as you looked compared to his bigger, stronger build, he didn't dare to get closer to you. He didn't dare to move one finger. The time that was supposed to be the happiest of his day turned into painful silence, as you wiped your tears away and he was left to reflect on his actions. The sun was almost gone from the sky. The darker it got you remembered that Obanai was probably already waiting for your husband for their usual night training. 

"Don't you have anything to say?" You asked, afraid that Sanemi might actually leave without a word, making it even harder to reach him later when he would return. He wasn't good with expressing his feelings and towards you he would refrain from saying anything, scared that his poor choice of words would do more harm. But silence was even more harming.

"He needs to get stronger. I can't babysit him on the battlefield."

"You're not babysitting him at all." You sneered at him. However, his low voice and his effort to contain himself in front of you made your heart melt. He could be better, only if he tried.

"He can't weild a sword properly. He said he even ate demons."

"Don't you think it takes so much courage and strenght to do these things?"

Sanemi looked at you bewildered, his entire concept of strength crushing down inside his mind as you pointed out the obvious, the truth that was right in front of him but he was too blind, too caught up in his own world to see. He only sighed in defeat. His wife outsmarted him once again.

It was getting late and you still had to clean the table and tidy around before going to sleep. As you sat up and passed by him on your way, Sanemi caught you by the wrist. His gesture reminded you immediately of the previous moment when you almost slapped him, regret washing over you.

"Can I hold you for a moment?" He mumbled like a scolded child, not sure if he deserved it anymore. You pulled him in and his toned arms wrapped around your legs, his cheek pressed against your belly. You ran your hand through his hair as you felt the strong, almost desprate grip he had on you, like he was afraid you would leave. You didn't forgive him yet. But that could wait a few more moments. As his face nuzzled against the soft fabric of your clothes you realized he was still a big child in a man's body, unsure how to handle anything other than fighting.

"Sanemi." Contrary to the gentle touch of your fingers in his hair, your voice was stern. "Promise me you'll fix this when you come back."

He only nodded against your body before pulling away completely. Only after he was long gone you noticed the tears that left wet spots on your clothes.

next》》 Yearning | Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader

[97linelover]

don´t treat me like a baby - Kim Mingyu

18+ / mdi

summary: Being the only Daughter in the Choi Family made you Precious. What if your Dad hires Kim Mingyu as your Bodyguard.

And what if you develop a huge crush on him?

content: Bodyguard Mingyu x Rich Reader, angst, fluff, love, fight, both are stupid and stubborn.

wc: 3.6 k

a/n: I saw this picture and I need to write a Bodyguard Gyu FF. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do.

You lived in a world where wealth was normal, where the rich people made fun of the poor, and where the poor did not have anything to say.

You hated this lifestyle; you worked as a volunteer in an orphanage; and you donated to many different things.  But carrying the name Choi was your biggest burden; everywhere you went, you were always the daughter of. 

You loved your family; they gave you everything they could, but sometimes you just wanted to be normal. 

"Y/N?" Your father's voice echoed through your office. "Yes, Dad?" You got up, your heels clicking against the marble floor. 

"I want you to meet someone," he said, opening the door, followed by an unknown man. You smiled politely. "Y/N, this is Kim Mingyu, Mingyu; this is my beautiful daughter." The man shook your hand. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Choi," he said politely. 

"The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Kim," you answered while sitting back down. "So what owes me the pleasure?" You leaned your head on your hand. 

"Mr. Ko won't be guarding you anymore since his Wife just gave birth, so from now on he will be your bodyguard," your dad said with a stern voice. "He will have a spare bedroom in the house so that he is never that far away." You looked at the handsome guard and nodded. 

"Alright, when does he start?" You crossed your legs, and you saw how his gaze fell onto your legs. 

"Right now, I talked to him about the important things, and he is ready." Your dad nodded at him and left the room. 

"I will wait in front of your office, Ms. Choi," he said again. "Alright, I'll be meeting Deborah for dinner today at 8.". 

"Noted, I'll tell your driver." With that, he left the room.  You watched him, and you then sighed. 

This was also normal—a security guard following you everywhere you go. 

-

"Wait, so Mr. Sexy here is going to be by your side 24/7? Lucky you" Deborah groaned while taking a sip of her Martini. 

"Deb's, stop drooling over my guard," You playfully slapped her arm. "Let's talk about the upcoming collection for my store, please," you pouted. 

"Do you have any locations in mind for your store?" She asked while looking through the design folder, "No, not yet. I'm currently doing the men's collection, and I need to find the models." You sipped on your daiquiri. "Mingyu, are you hungry or thirsty?" Deborah asked him with a flirty smile. 

"Thank you, Ms. Johnson, but no, I already ate," he said, smiling and bowing. 

"God, he is too handsome," she muttered, and you rolled your eyes. "Back to business, please." 

You two discussed some things, and you got lost with the track of time. "Ms. Choi, it's past midnight; I think we should head back home; you need to be in the office pretty early." He kindly took the documents, and you got up. "Thank you." You smiled at him, but he remained unfazed. 

"I'll show you the room," you said to him, and he nodded, following you. He tried his best not to look at your body, but the way your hips were swinging and your legs were glowing made it harder than he thought. 

"You can make yourself feel at home; you can eat everything in the fridge, and you can use everything in this house," you said as you opened the door.  "I'm really thankful for you here," you smiled, "and I really hope you will call me Y/N from now on; we will spend too much time together." He chuckled slightly at that. 

"Alright, Y/N, goodnight," he said as he walked inside the room. "Goodnight, Mingyu," and with that, you walked away into your bedroom. 

-

The next two months were basically the same: you went to work, then out for dinner, and then back home.  Mingyu was always by your side, and you two could actually talk right now; he was actually pretty funny. 

But you knew why he was here, that this was work, and that he was just doing his work. During this time, you developed a little crush.  He was completely your type, and you wanted him, but for the sake of your sanity, you quickly discarded that thought. 

"Y/N, your next model cancelled," Mingyu said while walking into the studio where you were standing and looking at the photos. "What? No," you whined. "He was supposed to be my center," you groaned. 

"Mingyu," you gasped, and his eyes widened. "No," he said sternly, and you smirked. "Please, Gyuuu, no one will see them," you pouted. "I only need a vision," you pleaded. 

"Alright, but we will do it quick," he muttered, and you cheered. "Okay, undress yourself, Mr. Kim," you giggled, and he rolled his eyes. He took off his button up, and you watched every move he made. His tanned muscles, now on full display, were better than imagined. 

"Okay, now put this on." You helped him. Your finger tips were tracing along his skin. Mingyu looked away so that he did not need to look at you. "I think you could easily work as a model." You giggled, which made him chuckle. "You think so?" 

You tied a knot and nodded. "Freaking beautiful," you whispered, and he looked down at you. You both were so close, your lips nearly touching. You felt his hot, minty breath against your lips, and your eyes fluttered close. 

"So, um, should we take the pictures?" He pushed you away, and you let out a small whine. "Sorry," he whispered, and you blushed.

Kim Mingyu was the first man to deny your kiss. 

You quickly grabbed the camera and snapped some pictures, and this is no lie, but there was not a single failed shot; he was insanely beautiful. 

"Are we done?" He asked while scratching his neck, and you nodded. "Yes, sorry, you can change. I'll wait outside." You hurried out of the room and groaned.

Luckily for you, Mingyu did not utter a word about what had happened. 

Inside the car, your brother called you "Hey Cheol." You said happily, "Hi Y/N, I have some bad news.. dad and me can't make it to the store opening." You were not surprised.  "Oh, alright, I did not expect you two anyway," you muttered, and before your brother could say anything, you ended the call. 

You leaned your head against the window, and you felt some tears rolling down your cheek. "You don't need them for the opening, Y/N," Mingyu said softly. "No one will be there, Mingyu; I'm alone. I'm always alone," you sobbed. "I will be there," he whispered. "Because it's your job," you cried out. 

Mingyu could not say anything at that, and you scoffed slightly. You were alone. 

And when he parked the car, you rushed into your bedroom, just locking yourself inside the room.

And when the opening came, you were dressed in the most stunning dark red dress; your hair was perfectly made, and your skin was glowing. You looked like a dream come true, and Mingyu knew it as soon as you entered the building.

You had given him the day off, but he wanted to see you. He wanted to keep you company on this important day. He was standing in the corner, dressed in a black suit with a red tie that matched your dress. You had gifted him the tie when he began because you told him it was the perfect color for him. 

He hated ties, but for you, he wore them. 

And while you were standing on the stage, your body was illuminated by the lights. He felt like screaming; he felt like the world was yours. 

He wanted you, but he could not have you. 

When you spotted him in the crowd, your heart felt like it was bursting, and a smile appeared on your face. 

He smiled slightly, and when the crowd cheered for you, he walked through the hallway, finding an empty room where he could calm down for a second. He looked out  of the window when he heard the door open and then high heels. 

"I thought I gave you the day off." Your soft voice made him turn around. "I told you I would be there," he said, and you smiled. "You missed me already, huh?" You took some steps towards him, and he really tried to control himself. 

"I'm just a man that sticks to his word," he smirked, and your freshly manicured nails landed on his chest. 

"Well, that's right, Mr. Kim, always so good for me," you said seductively, and he bit his lip. You were dangerous; he knew it the moment he saw you in that office.

"Y/N," he breathed, and you wasted no time kissing him. The kiss escalated pretty quickly. He turned you both around, lifting you against the wall. A whimper escaped you, and he pushed his bulge against your core, kissing along your neck. "Oh god," you moaned, and all of a sudden he let you down. 

"Fuck," he whispered, and you looked confused at him. You were breathing heavily. "Mingyu," you said, taking his hand, and he quickly pulled it away. "This should not have happened, Y/N," he said while wiping his face. "Don't say that," you pleaded.

"Fuck Y/N, this was a freaking mistake," he groaned, and you felt the tears sting your eyes. "Don't say that; I felt the desperation in this kiss," You tried walking towards him. 

"Maybe you're delusional, Y/N, but this was nothing," he said, looking at you. His warm, brown eyes were dull. You laughed slightly. "Mingyu, don't say that." 

"God damn, Y/N, you're nothing like me; this is not okay. I'm working for you; fuck, I don't want you," he said, raising his voice. "You're lying, trying to push me away," you whispered. 

"You're a spoiled little girl; I'm straight from the bronx; while you powder your nose, I'm fighting for the right things; I could never want you," he said with so much honesty that you choked out a sob. 

"Don't say that; you know how I am," you pleaded. "You know that I'm not like them, Mingyu.". 

He shrugged. "This is bullshit; do you really think that I want you?" He took a deep breath. "I'm not interested in a pathetic little girl who needs a bodyguard." With that, you rushed past him. 

"From now on, you will only see me in the office, and when I'm leaving the house, I will no longer talk with you unless it's important or work-related. So please do me a favor; don't treat me like a fucking baby when I'm more of a woman than you'll ever have." With that, you rushed back down. 

The next morning, you were dressed in a beige suit, and the black high heels made Mingyu look up. "Ready to go?" he asked while taking the car keys.

You grabbed some fruits and walked straight past him. He opened the car, and you got inside, typing away on your phone. A giggle escaped you, and you felt him glancing over. "I need to go to the warehouse," you uttered, and he nodded. "But you have the appointment later.". 

"Yeah, I know," you said, looking back down at your phone. 

The next few weeks were horrific for Mingyu; you became another person—the person he claimed you were. 

You acted like a snob; you treated him like a fool, and Mingyu was tired of it; he felt like screaming at you. 

Tonight, he was relieved when you just walked into your bedroom; he knew he could just lay down and sleep some more. But when he heard the front door slam shut, he jumped up and ran down, seeing you drive away with your Mercedes. 

He groaned, hurriedly took some keys, and got inside the car. There was no way he was going to find you in Seoul, but he drove around either way. He called you a thousand times, but you never picked up. 

God damn, he was pissed. 

He then remembered that you gave him access to your location, so he opened his phone, seeing that you were out partying. 

Within 10 minutes, he was standing behind you and saying, "Mr. Sexy is here, and he's looking pissed." Deborah yelled over the music, and your eyes widened as she turned around. Mingyu was walking towards you. "Get in the car." He stated, his eyes dark. "No." You walked past him. "Y/N, I'm not kidding. Get in the car right now." His voice was deep, and you sighed. "Fuck you." You spat, and he chuckled. "If you don't want to be treated like a baby, don't act like one.". 

"You're a fucking asshole," you muttered, and you rushed out of the club with him behind you. You got in the car, locking the door and driving off. 

You could see him driving behind you, and you slammed your fist against the steering wheel. 

When you entered the house, Mingyu groaned, "Why the fuck did you leave?" He was furious, and you turned around. "I don't need a fucking babysitter, so go back to the room and leave me alone." You took your heels off, and he came dangerously close.

"Don't act like a spoiled brat, just because you can't handle my opinion," he said, lifting your chin. "I don't care about your stupid opinion, Mingyu," and you slapped his hand away. 

"You do, otherwise you would not act like this," he chuckled deeply. "But you know, this attitude of yours should be punished," his body pressed against yours. 

"Mingyu," you whispered, and he lifted you up. "You wanted this, right? You wanted to push me until I fucking gave in." The way he carried you with such ease made you dizzy.

"You don't get to treat me like a baby," you said while sighing. "Baby, I will treat you just right tonight." He opened the bedroom door and laid you down, his buff frame hovering over you. "Now open your pretty legs, baby," he rasped, and you quickly obeyed.

He pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his beautiful tan body, while he kissed your legs.  He wasted no time eating you out like a starved man; the way he circled his tongue around your swollen bud made you scream out in joy. 

He brought you over the edge once, and now his goal was a second; his fingers were pumping in and out of you. "Come on, baby, give me another one," he whispered while placing a kiss along your leg. 

"Mingyu god," you whimpered, and he smirked, feeling your legs shake. "Yes, there it is," His thumb circled around your nub, and your fists clawed into the bedding, feeling the second high of the night. 

You were breathing heavily, and he just smirked. "Are you able to take my cock?" he asked while getting up, and you nodded. "Please, Gyu," you pouted, and he chuckled. He took his pants off, and you were groaning at the sight in front of you. 

His dick was beautiful; it was standing tall and proud. Pre-cum was leaking from his shaft. "Condom?" he asked while pumping his dick a few times. "Oh yes, wait." You got up with shaky legs and wobbled into the bathroom, grabbing the box. 

Mingyu put it on and then hovered over you. When he glided into you, his eyes squeezed shut, and he groaned, "God, you feel so good.". 

He buried his head in the crook of your neck and placed some kisses there. He held you close while thrusting deep inside you. Your fingernails clawed into his back, and you were a whimpering mess. "I'm close," you moaned, and he felt you clench around him. 

"Me too, baby," His thrusts became sloppier. "Come on, baby, milk me dry," he groaned, and you kissed him. You kissed him through your orgasm, and it felt so good; no one ever made you feel like he did. 

He laid down next to you, and you closed your eyes. "You're actually so goodhow I imagined you to be," you whined, and he let out a laugh. "Wow, what a compliment!" He pulled you on to his chest, and you both fell asleep like that.

It was the best sleep you had for a long time, and when the morning came, you woke up with a smile on your face. You turned around when you saw that he was not there anymore. You got up, putting on your bathrobe. 

The walk to his room made you feel nervous, and you knew why, When you opened the door, Mingyu's stuff was gone; there was no trace of him. 

You laughed to yourself and got inside your room, getting ready for work. 

The way to your office was different; there was no Mingyu who made sure you were safe, no one who gave you some coffee and some fruit.  You knew he left because of what happened last night. 

"Y/N?" The voice of your brother snapped you out of your daze. 

"Cheollie," you smile while getting up, "what brings you here?" You grinned slightly, and he sighed. "Mr. Kim has quit, as you may have noticed; he said he could not work with you anymore, and he left immediately after."

Hearing the words made you realize how Mingyu must think about you—maybe he was right and maybe you were spoiled. Maybe, after all, you were unlovable. 

"Soonyoung will be back tomorrow," he said, and you nodded. "Will you excuse me for a moment, Cheol?" You looked down.

"What happened with him, Y/N?" He looked at you with concern written all over his face. "I fell in love with him, Cheol." You felt a single tear rolling down your cheek.

"Oh, Y/N," he sighed, and you tried to smile again. "It's alright, I know it; it's always the same; they use me, and then they dump me," you shrugged, and he pulled you close. "Mingyu seemed pretty shaken up when he left," Seungcheol muttered. 

"I don't care," you whispered, and he sighed. "You're so good, Y/N. Don't let this get to your head.". 

He kissed your head softly, and you nodded. 

Your brother truly was the best, but with him being away most of the time, your relationship suffered. 

With Soonyoung as your guard, you had one of your friends back by your side. Soonyoung was funny and cool to chill with. Mingyu had left over three weeks ago, and you started to forget about him. At least you tried. 

"Soonyoung, I'm going to run to the store real quick," you announced. "Wait, I'll join." He slipped on some shoes, and you walked down the street to grab some snacks. You were graving some hot sweet potatoes. 

"But you know what I meant, Soo," you giggled while running behind him, trying to catch him. "I know you love me, Y/N," he wiggled his eyebrows, and you laughed out. "You wish,"  you came to a halt. "Soo wait," you gulped when you saw him standing in front of your door. 

"HEY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Soonyoung yelled, and Mingyu lifted his hands. "I just want to talk with her," he said, and Soonyoung looked at you. "Is that him'?" You nodded and walked towards him. "Soo, will you let us alone for a moment?" He smiled softly at you and said, "Call me if you need me." He went inside the house, and you turned towards him. 

"What do you want?" You crossed your arms. "I wanna explain," he whispered, and you shrugged. "I don't wanna hear it, Mingyu; you made it clear." Mingyu's heart felt heavy. "Y/N, please let me explain." 

You took a step back. "Mingyu, we come from two different worlds; you made it pretty clear. I don't want you here right now. You think of me as a spoiled girl; fine, then I'll act like one.  You used me for your fun, and then you left," you chuckled. "Maybe I should've paid for that act, huh?" 

Mingyu grabbed your arm and pulled you close. "Can you maybe just shut the fuck up?" he whispered, and you looked at him. "I fell in love with you; I left because I fucking fell for you," he said, frustrated. 

"Your dad made it clear that if I touch you, he will talk bad about me; he will make sure that I'll never get another job. I knew the moment you laid in my arms fast asleep, I was fucked." You gasped at his words. "I quit because I thought that we could maybe then be happy," he whispered. "I needed to sort out some shit, and now I am here."

"You're shitting me, right?" You laughed out loud, and he shook his head. "I'm dead serious; I'm in love with you." He cupped your cheek. "So please let me love you." You smiled brightly at him and pulled him down so you could kiss him. Your lips moved in sync, and your heart felt like it would burst at any moment now. 

"Are you sure you want to spend time with a spoiled brat?" You asked, grinning, "More than sure, baby," and he kissed you again.

If you enjoyed it, leave a comment :)

[jacaerysgf]

deepest desires

summary: Though you have been married to aegon for a while now it seems he wants nothing to do with you and you worry you will spend the rest of your life miserable; but he ends up finding out a secret you've tried so hard to keep hidden and it brings you two together much to your surprise and delight.

w.c: 2.1k

c.w: sub!aegon, porn with plot, pegging, wooden strap, dom!reader, mommy kink, pathetic aegon, slight overstim, anal stuff, not proofread

a.n: dedicated to my lovelie @aegonswife | i will never shut up about the sub aegon agenda !!

You must have been horrible in your past life for the gods to curse you like this. To be married to a prince should be a wonderful thing yet you feel as though you have been sentenced to death.

You can recount on your hands how many words he’s spoken to you despite your many many many many, many, attempts to get him to converse with you. He will not even glance at you most of the time, well kept to his drinks and his whores. You suppose its a better fate than most at least it seemed he would not force himself upon you or abuse you.

Your wedding is a blur and your wedding night is the same, you remember him swiftly leaving after he released and you remember simply lying there and trying to fall asleep.

It took you awhile to officially move in with him as you stuff got stuck on way to the keep and you just so happened to be out the day it finally arrived at the keep so you had the maids bring your stuff into the room in your stead.

As he’s typically out all day and you did not expect him to be in the room while they were unpacking as it is mid afternoon you walk into the room and are shocked to see him standing in front of one of your opened crates with something you prayed he would never see in his hands.

You’ve always had very, different, cravings and lusts. When women would confess their sinful thoughts you realized you were the odd girl out. Many women wanted to get pinned down by their man and be taken in whatever way he pleased but you had always wanted the opposite. To be the one taking, to pin someone down and having a dick of your own forcefully shoving it into their hole.

When you discovered they had invented such a device that could give you the illusion of you having a cock you immediately used your allowance to track one down and purchase it for yourself. Thought you have never used the things you are now wishing you have never bought it has he clutches it in his hands and tilts his head at you, a look you’ve never seen in his eyes.

“This yours?”

You must look like a fish, opening and closing your mouth unsure of what you’re supposed to say. So you say nothing, instead choosing to run out the room like a madman and do not return until very very very late at night and are shocked to see him asleep in your shared bed. He barely even spent five minutes alone in your shared chambers let alone sleep in there. You quietly lay down next to him and fall asleep, praying he would not be there in the morning.

You had hoped that would be that and you would never have to speak to him again but he continues to follow you around like a lost puppy. Tailing behind you everywhere, your lessons, when you spend time in the garden, even your personal time in the shared room he is laying next to you as you read. The sudden change in his behavior is so jarring you cannot help but ask him about it but he just smiles at you, “You are much different than i thought you to be.” You have no clue what that means.

You grow a sort of, friendly? relationship with one another. You are still too nervous to truly say anything to him while he merely seems content laying besides you.

Everything sort of flips on its head when you are laying on the bed, a book in your lap as usual and the door opens. You are not shocked to see a clearly drunk aegon but are more than shocked when he flops down onto the bed and presses his head to your stomach as he lets out a groan.

“My prince?” he merely hums, “My head hurts.” “Maybe you should try and sleep my prince-” “when are you going to fuck me?”

This has you frozen and he looks up at you with his red eyes. “I’ve been so good why haven’t you?” Your mouth opens in shock as he flops his head back down and presses some wet, open mouthed kisses into the fabric of your nightgown. You stutter and are at a loss for words. He wanted you to fuck him?

“My prince if you wish to perform your marital duties you are free to at any time.” He whines and shakes his head, looking up at you with a pout. “No i want you to fuck me. I’ve been good i promise, i havent gone to any brothels, not since that day mommy i promise.” MOMMY? you liked being called mommy in his whiny voice a bit too much and you simply stare at the top of his head for awhile as you try to think of what to say.

“You still come home drunk.” He looks up at you and you merely blink at him. You are more than sure he will not remember this tomorrow so you will merely say what you need to to get him to stop talking about this. “And you reek of alcohol.”

“If i stop drinking and i stop coming home drunk you will fuck me?” “yes.” You are more than glad he will not remember this in the morning. He rolls off of you and to his side of the bed, his back turned to you. “What are you doing?” “Going to sleep so i can start my vow of sobriety.”

His snores quickly fill the room and you blow out the candle next to you and get under the sheets, staring at the darkness with a racing heart. He does not mean it, he will forget about this tomorrow and this will all be a terrible dream.

You are shocked as you wake up the next day and he is stilly lying in bed, merely staring at the ceiling until you flip the covers off and move to get out of bed, “Good morning.” “Morning.” You barely look at him as you move to get dressed for the day. Rummaging through the closet until you pull out a dress and hang it on your mirror. You look at him through the mirror, “Are you going to watch me get undressed?” “It is wrong to?”

You say nothing but simply stare at him until you slowly move the straps of your dress and your nightgowns falls to the floor and you are completely bare.

“So how long must i be sober? A day? a week? a month?” You freeze and turn your head back to look at him.

“what are you talking about-” “were you the one who had been drunk last night wife? must i remind you of what we had discussed?”

You bring the dress you had meant to wear today closer to your chest to cover yourself as you feel a sense of shame wash over you. “If you wish to mock me so then do it.” His head tilts at you as you stare down at the ground. “why would i wish to mock you?

“asking me to fuck you after you had found that horrid device you must mean to mock me…” He quickly stand and you back up until you hit the mirror and he is standing in front of you. “I do not mean to mock you. I had avoided you in the past because i had been under the impression you were just like every other lady at the court but i know now you were made for me, we were made to be together. I have wished to have a lady like you, to fill my wildest desires, i wish for you to do anything you wish. To rule body and use me like a toy. To fuck me like i am nothing but a whore on silk street.”

You stare at him with wide eyes as he drops to his knees and looks at you like you are a goddess. “I was born to serve you. I am at you every whim and every wish.”

You feel something overcome you as he stares up and you and you lose every ounce of self control you have.

“Stand.” He quickly stands up and stares at you eagerly noticing the new look in your eyes.

“Strip.”

He rushes to rip off his shirt and pants and awaits your instructions. You snap your fingers and point to the bed where he quickly moves to sit down on it. You walk over to him and grab his chin to tilt his head upwards. “You want mommy to take care of you?” He lets out a long whine as he nods his head feverishly.

“lay on your stomach.” he follows your instructions without complaining like a loyal mutt. He has no clue what youre doing but he can hear you rummaging around the room, your bare feet peddling against the ground for a few moments and he finds himself unable to lay still, wiggling and whimpering to himself as he grows impatient, on of his hands even begins to slide down to stroke himself before you slap his ass and he moans. “Thought you were a good boy huh? what happened to him?”

“no no i am i am i promise im sorry im sorry.” You slap him again, “I dont wanna hear it.” He continues to mumble and whimper until he feels you shove two oiled inside him and he lets out a high pitched noise and bites the pillow he’s pressing his head against.

“Loose. you're such a fucking whore, look at you.” He doesn’t not respond not that you expected him too but he gets louder and louder the more and more you continue to thrust your fingers in and out of him, reeling in the feeling of you presses kisses against his back and the way your free hand wraps around his cock and toys around with his tip.

“look at you, so fucking pathetic. I bet youve been dreaming of this for months huh, sick freak.” He babbles like a baby unable to form any words or any thoughts the closer he gets, precum pouring out of his tip that you use to pump him slowly. He is so close he can taste it, what hes been craving for so long, he wants it so bad he wants to please you.

Yet you pull away right as hes on the brink and he can barely control himself. Tears begin to spring from his eyes and be turns his head towards you, whimpering. “please.” “you’ll take what i give you.” “but mommy-“ “who said you can talk back?”

He sniffles, “im sorry mommy im sorry please i just wanna be good for you mommy.” his words are slurred and you cant help but feel your heart ache slightly and you grab his cheek, rubbing away his tears with his thumb, “you good?”

He nods, and leans against your cheek sniffles again. “I just wanna be good for you mommy.” You nod and press a kiss against his lips and when you pull away he chases after you lightly as he looks at you with glowing eyes. “You’re so pretty baby, such a good boy, mommys gonna take care of you okay?” “yes yes please please.”

He lets out a gasp as he feels your wooden strap begin to slowly push its way into his pulsing hole. You barely give him anytime to adjust before you begin to vigorously thrust in and out of him. Gripping onto his hair for stability.

The tears begin to pour down his face as he grabs his cock with his free hand, bringing himself closer to release as his hips move back to meet yours. You find yourself unable to hide your amusement as he grows more and more desperate, heaving and whining the closer and closer he gets to release, letting out incoherent babbles of nonsense.

When he releases he lets out a scream that your sure the whole keep could hear, his body shaking as his seed spills out onto the bedsheets below him, sobs racking his body. You press a long kiss against his lips and he shakily returns it. When you had thought you would be doomed to a life of misery it appears you were wrong as your life just got a whole lot more interesting.

[inuiiwonderland]

The locked away dragon

Your friends managed to convince you to go explore an abandoned tower with them. Legend goes that a dragon fae prince was locked away here in this tower to protect him from a war that was happening during his time. What happens when you lock eyes with bright green eyes during your exploration?

A/n: Omg Mari writing something that isn’t angst😱 lol I decided to give y’all a break (kidding I already have a angst draft ready😈)

Fem reader!

Fluff!

-

You walked down the dirt road as you dragged the stick that you found earlier on the ground as you listened to your friends bicker about something you don’t even care to remember.

“Yer so stupid ace! Whadya mean that the legend of the locked dragon is real?!”

“Excuse me?! I never said it was real! I was just telling the story since deuce didn’t know!”

“But you said it was true!”

“Yeah! To scare him!”

“Hey that didn’t scare me!”

“Oh really? You looked like you almost pissed yourself back there man!” You rolled your eyes as you poked Jack with the stick. He looked over his shoulder and chuckled seeing the bored expression on your face.

“How much longer do we have to walk? My feet are killing me!”

“We’re almost there! Just a little more walking!”

“You said that like 10 minutes ago you idiot”

“Do you even know where we’re going?”

“Huh? Of course I know! My brother was the one to give me the direction to that tower!” You scoff.

“Yeah you shouldn’t be trusting him all that much. For all we know he could’ve probably given you the wrong directions and we could be lost!”

“I know where we’re going! Just trust me”

“Yeah we’re totally lost”

“We are not!”

“Are too”

“Are not!”

“Are too”

“Are no-“

“Guys!” You both looked at jack and see him point somewhere behind you too.

“I think we’re here” Both you and ace then turn around and there, lo and behold there stood the tower from the legends.

“Great sevens…”

“It’s huge”

“Well whadya waiting for? Let’s go!” Epel runs to go inside as ace follows close behind. You threw your stick and follow the two as jack and deuce do the same.

The moment you walked inside you were all surprised to see that the place has been kept clean and well maintained. You worriedly glance back at ace who was walking around with his phone out. Already recording.

“Um ace, are you sure this place is abandon?”

“It looks to clean and well kept to even be abandon”

“Oh sevens don’t tell me we just trespassed on someone’s property”

“Don’t worry guys! My brother said that not many people were able to find this place over the years so that why it isn’t destroyed or anything yet”

“So only a few people knows that this place exists?”

“Pretty much”

“Okay then! Let’s all split up and explore this place”

“Split up? What are we? The mystery gang” Deuce and epel laughed as ace rolls his eyes.

“I’ll be upstairs. Don’t piss yourself deuce!” Deuce eyes widen as he starts cursing at ace which only makes him laugh harder. Everyone then goes their separate ways and you take out your phone to use as a flashlight to see better.

You walk around the tower and took pictures of anything that you found fascinating or cool. You wouldn’t lie, this tower was for sure the most beautiful place you have ever stepped foot in. As you walk around the place, you started thinking back about the legends.

Could a dragon fae prince really be here?

You chuckle at your childish thoughts and continue exploring. At some point you found yourself walking up some set of stairs and the more you went up the more cold the air felt. You were lucky that you brought your jacket with you.

While you were walking around you noticed a big door down the hall. Curiosity got the best of you and you soon started walking down the dimly lit hallway. As you got closer, chills went down your spine. You were starting to have second thoughts about whether or not you should open the door.

“Fuck it”

The moment you opened the door you immediately coughed as dust flew everywhere. You closed your eyes to prevent any dust from entering your eyes. Finally after what felt like forever, you opened your eyes to see nothing but pitch black.

“Seriously?” You raised your phone to get a better look with your flashlight but stopped once you saw bright green eyes looking directly at you.

You took a step back before screaming which caused the creature to panic and spit fire. You luckily managed to dodge the attack before running out the area without looking back.

You could hear your heart beating in your ears as you quickly ran down the steps.

“Shit shit shit!” You say as you began to run even faster. Your scream alerted your friends and you were sure they were already downstairs waiting for you.

You ran down the steps as your heart continued pounding against your chest.

What the fuck was that?

“Y/n!” Deuce yells. The rest of the group ran up to you but you shook your head and waved your hands, signaling them to leave.

“Out! Out we need to get out of here!”

“Wh-“ A loud roar rung through the towers hall and everyone hearts dropped at that moment.

“Everyone out!” In an instant, everyone ran out the exit. No one dared to say anything as their main goal at that moment was to be as far away as possible from the tower.

After what felt like hours of running, you all slowly start slowing down as you tried to catch your breathes.

“W-wh..what was that?!” Deuce was the first one to speak up. Still trying to get his breathing under control.

“It sounded...like a roar!”

“Yeah no shit! But what kind of animal lets out a roar that can shake a whole 400 year old tower!!?”

“How am I supposed to know?!” You roll your eyes as you sit down on a log. You burry your face in your hands as you try to process what you saw just moments ago.

“Y/n”

“Mm?” Voice muffled by your hands.

“What did you see?” You stayed quiet before you finally looked up to see them all staring at you.

“I think I’m going insane”

-

A month has passed since that incident. You told them what you saw but laughed it off as some sort of joke.

The whole way home you and the rest blamed ace for what happened back at the tower. The poor boy was fighting for his life trying to defend himself as he didn’t even know that something like that would happen.

The 5 of you took a break from urban exploring for the next week or so. Still spooked from the incident.

But…

A part of you is curious about the creature that you saw that day.

Those green eyes haunts in your dreams and you can’t seem to stop thinking about it every time you try to go to sleep.

It was like an itch. You couldn’t seem to get rid of it. And you know it might sound crazy but a part of you wants to go back.

To see that what you saw that day wasn’t just your imagination.

So maybe that’s what brought you here tonight. You stood in front of the old tower as you pointed your flashlight towards it.

“This is stupid” You say to no one in particular. You huff before walking in.

It looked just like how it did a month ago.

Clean and well kept

You quietly walked around while also trying to avoid making any noise. You went up the same stairs you took last time and hoped to the great sevens that you don’t die tonight.

“This is so stupid why did I come back” You whisper to yourself as you walk down the same hall you walked last time.

After what felt like forever, you finally found the door that you last saw the creature in.

Here goes nothing

The moment you open the door you were prepare to meet the same green eyes from last time.

But what you saw was pure darkness

You shined your flashlight inside the room but again saw nothing.

Ha

HAHAHAHAHA

“Oh sevens…so it was my imagination after all” You chuckle as you slap your hand on your face.

Now I have to come up with an excuse on why I snuck out

You groan at the thought of what’s waiting for you tomorrow morning when your parents go through the security footage.

“I should’ve just stayed home” You say as you close the door. You sign as you rub your face in your hands, tired from the walk here and also disappointment.

But as you continue to curse and call yourself stupid, you notice a weird smell.

It almost smells like…smoke?

Wait

SMOKE?

and its almost like it’s coming from behind you.

You immediately turn around to only be met with those captivating eyes that you saw last time.

You scream

The creature looks almost…panicked? When you screamed and backed away while shaking its head.

After what felt like forever, you stopped screaming. You and what you now know is a dragon stare each other down as silence filled the air.

“Soooo”

You were the one to break the silence

“The legends are true” The dragon only tilts its head. Seeming confused by what you said and you couldn’t help but giggle at that action.

“You’re so cute! How long have you been living here? Oh wait! I haven’t even introduced myself yet! How rude of me” The dragon just listens as you now go on a full rant about your interests, hobbies, how you and your friends love exploring abandoned ruins and how you and your group ended up here in the first place.

He seemed to not mind about your long rant as it happily listened to whatever came out of your mouth. After some time though, you started feeling a little sleepy. So with a yawn, you wish the dragon good night before getting knocked out cold.

-

You woke up to the sound of someone’s breathing. Your brows furrowed as you slowly began to open your eyes.

You didn’t know what to expect to see so early in the morning but it definitely wasn’t a grown man watching you sleep.

You scream

“W-what?! Who are you and what have you done to my dragon?!” You shout. Backing up against the wall as the man in front raises his hand in surrender.

“There’s no need to panic! It’s me! Dragon!”

“W-what” Now that you take a good look at him. The resemblance between the man and the dragon was clear.

He had long black hair, two black horns, and….

Those green eyes

“D-dragon? You…”

How? How is that possible?

“Allow me to introduce myself. My name is malleus draconia”

“I’m the locked away fae prince from the legend that you told me about last night” He says with a smile.

Oh

Well now you have a clingy dragon fae prince stuck to you🤍

-

This was sitting in my drafts for like a year now🫠 so I decided to finish it today because I really like it!

[babiexiao]

you belong with me

✰ . . . bridgerton au, gojo is meant to be a viscount, fem!reader / fem!pronouns used, secret relationship kinda???, mention of arranged marriage, secret meetings (no cheating though) fluff & smut, fingering, ooc gojo idk he’s lovesick and shit, kinda olden day language that i don't think is 100% correct but idc the brainrot is too strong at this point for me to care therefore you shouldn't either <3

✰ . . . 2.5k words i don't know how we got here

✰ . . . i uhhhh binge watched bridgerton in less than a week and i am having the most scandalous thoughts and scenarios about it.. like i am vibrating at the speed of light waiting for the second part to drop tonight LMFAO this is just pure word vomit and brainrot and it's probably shit because i don't remember the last time i sat and wrote smth this long... but oh well !!! i also SUCK at titles thanks taylor swift for having this song

Satoru Gojo loves a good thrill. The thrill of betting his money on horse races or boxing matches. The thrill of playing pranks on the maids or the cooks. The thrill of having all eyes on him as he walks into a room. He knows everyone will stare considering his wealth and the status of his family but it still feels good, feeds his ego. His favourite thrill however? The one where he meets with you in secret. Just thinking about sneaking away from the public eye, trying to find a quiet place where you two could have time alone, where you could kiss and touch each other, sent goosebumps all over his body. It excited him.

You're not sure why you let him coax you into it though. As a lady, you should be prim and proper, present at the balls or social gatherings. You're meant to be talking to your friends or making conversation with respectable suitable gentlemen, or in the midst of getting courted. Perhaps it is because Gojo Satoru is a breath of fresh air in such a repetitive lifestyle that you keep sneaking off in the middle of the gatherings to see him, and it's certainly no different tonight.

In the middle of the ball, you see Satoru’s tall figure slip past a group of people and off into the shadows. To avoid being seen as suspicious, you need to wait a few moments before you too find yourself following after him. The minutes of waiting around feel like hours however, your feet are itching to just walk off and run to him, but you can't. It would be seen as outrageous for a lady to be seen with any man alone, it would cause an uproar within the community, spreading amongst the partygoers and even the ones who didn’t come within a matter of hours.

Then finally, after what feels like eons, you excuse yourself from the people you were chatting with. You're glad the ladies you were with are attempting to woo the gentlemen that had approached the group by fluttering their hand fans and blinking excessively. Quietly, you make your way towards the corridors. The females are too busy trying to gossip and the men are trying to prove their wealth or talk about their mistresses which makes slipping away into the shadows easier.

You are quite lucky that it was your family who was responsible for today's ball. It made it easy to find a secluded place where you and Satoru could meet without having to worry about a member of the ton or one of your maids accidentally finding the two of you alone, god forbid that from happening. You hold your dress up so you don't trip over it, walking briskly to one of your many gardens at the back of your family's estate. It is dark outside and the air is now chilly, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up as you slow down and try to squint in the darkness, attempting to spot your favourite white haired male.

"Oh? What do we have here? A rather fine young lady, all alone. With no one around... but me." You'd recognise that teasing voice anywhere and you're immediately spinning around to face him with a smile on your face.

"Lord Gojo." A pout on his face grows almost immediately as you bend at your knees to bow at him, a gesture of respect that has been conditioned into your very being since you were a little girl.

"I thought I told you to call me–"

"Just Satoru, yes. I am well aware of that." The use of his first name has him smiling almost as quickly as he had pouted, and in only a couple of steps he is directly in front of you, chest in your line of sight. You have to tilt your head upwards to get a good look at his handsome face.

"I have to say, I rather enjoy the way my name falls from your lips." He's not slick with his eye movements, tongue darting over to lick at his plump pink lips while his eyes glance at your mouth and back to hold your gaze again. "You make it sound... Pretty."

"Well, it is a pretty name for a pretty boy. Your mother did well at picking it."

"Darling, as much as I adore my own mother, I did not ask you to meet with me so I could listen to you praise her."

"Oh Satoru!" You have to cover your mouth so you don't laugh out loud and garner unwanted attention. "Are you jealous of your mother?"

"I am not!" He hushes you, thankful that you are meeting in darkness and the only light is from the moon so you don't see the blush of embarrassment on his cheeks. "Not of her at least."

You are about to open your mouth to ask what he means but he beats you to it. "Lord Basset was rather close to you... Was he not?"

"He spoke to me for a mere two minutes, if that, Satoru. Besides, all he asked was how my family was doing, nothing more."

"Two minutes too many if you ask me." There is a slight growl in his voice as he mumbles unhappily, large hands pulling you close to his frame by your hips.

"Perhaps you need to start courting me in public."

"Sweetheart." He sighs, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours. "The sooner my father realises I do not wish to marry the woman he has chosen for me, the better. It is torment trying to stay away from you in public. Mother is attempting to talk to him now, I think she may know I have someone else I would rather be courting."

You feel him furrow his eyebrows, scrunching them up as he speaks and thinks about the marriage his father is trying to get him to agree to. His father is a businessman, and the marriage, If Satoru agrees, would give them more wealth and more power – Something that the Gojo family already has ample amount of according to Satoru but it was not enough for his father.

"Toru," You begin, voice barely above a whisper. "I can wait for you. I will wait, do not worry about that."

"What did I do to deserve such an understanding woman like you?" Satoru exhales deeply, letting out a breath of air he did not realise he was holding all this time.

"For one, forcefully drag me to meet with you secretly."

"What a strange way to say I wooed you with my charms."

“What charms exactly?”

“Oh, you know. My pretty face, my sense of humour, how witty I am– oh! Lets not forget how tall I am.” You’re holding back a laugh as he lists off his so-called charms to you.

“Let us not forget how you were looking not so subtly at my hands when we first met either. Or my pants, not very ladylike of you, is it?”

“That is not my fau–”

“Oh so you are blaming me for your pervertedness?!” He gasps rather too loudly and you’re quick to cover his mouth with panic.

“Satoru! Please… Keep it down!” You’re whisper-yelling at him, heart pounding as you look around with fear.

He just hums against your hand over his mouth, rubbing your waist as he removes it and kisses the tips of your fingers gently. “You are afraid of being seen with me.”

“Unchaperoned, yes. You are well aware of how everyone will talk about a lady being seen alone with a man such as yourself.”

“Would it not be for the best if we were seen by someone though? Then, I would be forced to marry my little secret, and my father would be forced to give up on his ridiculous quest to marry me off.”

You can’t find yourself to talk back to him and put his crazy idea to rest because he did have a point, unfortunately.

“Sweetheart,” He began, peppering kisses on the tips of your fingers to your wrist, all the way to your inner arm and eventually leading his lips to your neck. “Please, let us be caught.”

“S–Satoru– We can’t… The public scrutiny, the ton–”

“Fuck what the ton has to say. I feel as if I am dying from not having you by my side. Do you know how bad I want to kiss you? How I want to promenade with you, to show you off to the men, to let everyone know you are mine and mine only just as how I belong only to you?”

Satoru’s hands wander to the curve of your ass as he speaks his heart out, large hands groping the flesh best he could over layers and layers of your clothes. You feel him breathing heavily against the skin of your neck, which is soon followed by him inhaling your scent with his eyes closed shut. Then, he’s cupping the side of your face, thumb rubbing over your bottom lip which has him gulping as he waits for verbal consent.

“Satoru. Touch me.”

And he wastes no time in doing so, capturing your lips in a rather messy and sloppy kiss that you are sure will do nothing but mess up the expensive lipstain you are wearing.

You push him further into the shadows where you know not a soul will be able to see you two from the lack of light. He’s against the brick wall and he lets out a small grunt into the kiss but makes no effort to pull away from your mouth. Instead, he takes a hold of your waist and spins the two of you around so now you are hidden in the shadows. By chance, if someone was to see the both of you, your body would be hidden and you wouldn’t be exposed.

Satoru always kisses you with passion, as if there’s a fire burning inside of his body that only you can put out but something about this particular kiss feels far too different to any kiss you have shared before. It feels more urgent. More desperate, you can physically feel it with how hard his lips press against your own. How he grunts and groans into the kiss, how his hand is now cupping the nape of your neck to keep you in place while the other pulls your waist into his own crotch. It allows you to feel the hardness in his pants against your stomach and has you letting out your own set of whimpers.

Momentarily, he pulls back to allow you to breathe. “Let us be caught.”

“Do not try and convince me when you have made my head go dizzy with lack of air.”

“Perfect time, is it not? Come on sweetheart, do you not want to have all of me? To feel all of me?”

“You are a disgusting pervert.” There’s no bite behind it however. Not when your thigh is being wrapped around Satoru’s waist and you feel his hands inch further and further up your thighs.

“Yeah? Why don’t you say that again, you know I love it when you call me names.”

If you weren’t seconds from being fingered, maybe you would have hit his shoulder but you feel the pads of his fingers rub your mound over your undergarments before you could do so.

You’re sighing in pleasure as he continues to tease you over the fabrics but you grow impatient. It’s not as if you haven’t been in this very compromising position before, you’re well aware of how long the white haired male can tease you for, how much he loves it. But when you are in public, only a couple of hundred yards away from the partygoers on your own estate, it is not the time for hours upon hours of teasing, especially not against a brick wall.

“Toru, please. More…”

He pretends not to hear you, keeping a straight face as he keeps on holding your thigh up as the other hand continues to touch you but not really give you what you truely need.

“Toruuu, now is not the time to be a tease.”

“Oh? What’s that? I couldn’t quite hear you sweetheart. Would you mind speaking a little louder for me?”

“Satoru!”

“Y/N!”

Your head tilts back out of anger, hitting against the brick wall behind you with a gentle thud. You despise how he’s choosing to act with you right now.

“Say it.” He speaks, but it’s not using that annoying, teasing tone of his he usually gives you when you want him to touch you more. It’s serious. “Say you are mine.”

His eyes lock onto yours, keeping eye contact as he waits for your answer.

You do not keep him waiting, cupping the side of his face as you speak with sincerity. “I am yours, just as you are mine.”

Satoru feels his cock twitch in his trousers, wanting nothing more than to be balls deep in you right after you said that, but not yet. He can wait, he will wait for you to marry him before taking away your virginity. He’s a gentleman, albeit that gentlemanly honour is hanging by a mere thread when you speak about belonging to him with that pretty voice of yours.

But his fingers are quick to push your undergarments to the side and allow you to truly feel his touch in all its glory. Even in the darkness, he knows exactly where to touch, and he finds the little nub that makes you feel good with ease that it’s almost scary. He allows his fingertips to make circles on it, and you’re burying your face in the suit jacket he’s wearing to drown out your noises that you know will get louder and louder.

His digits have you so riled up and wet in a matter of minutes that his fingers are easily buried in your warmth with one swift move.

You always feel full, how could you not when he has such large hands and long fingers. “Feels— so good, ‘Toru.”

“I know sweetheart.”

“Much better than when I do it to myself…” You know he loves hearing words that boost his ego and god, did it make him feel things. It garners a low growl from him, and he’s pumping his fingers into you with such vigour you swear you two will be caught with just how loud the skin slapping and sloppy noises are.

It does not take long for you to reach your high, two digits in your pussy whilst one rubbed your clit and you’re cumming with shaky thighs and a soft cry of the man’s name, thankful that he’s holding the back of your head and pushing your face into his chest so you don’t accidentally moan out loud.

“Marry me.” He whispers, forehead resting against your own as you pant and come down from your orgasm.

“Get me a ring and I will say yes in a heartbeat and fight your father for your hand in marriage, Satoru.”

i also can’t write endings for shit rip me </3

[poppyflower-22]

Wild Wild West

Summary: Lando walks into a bar and falls for Oscar's barrel racing Cousin.

Side note: I'm Australian so chips to me are fries to most people. Idk in my family we call everything chips. There's properly spelling and grammar errors.

When people think of ranch life they think cows. The smell. But that’s not Lando thinks. He thinks of Y/n. The love of his life.

The woman who changed his life. Meeting her in that bar was the best thing that had ever happened to him. It was like God was leading him to his salvation.

He wouldn't know what to do without now. Meeting her was like meeting his soulmate. He had gotten everything and more from meeting her.

Lando smiled in relief when he saw the glowing sign of a motel. It felt like he was walking for days when it had only been two hours. The sun had gone down while he walked and while it was beautiful he didn't have time to think about it.

When Oscar had gave instructions to him, he never thought it would be that hard to find a house. But then again, he was in the middle of nowhere. All he needed was a phone and everything would be fine.

And maybe a drink. Defiantly a drink.

Lando opened the bar doors and immediately made his way over to the bar. There was the bar with stools, a dancing floor, a pool table and a few more tables in witched he guessed people sat, drank and ate.

“Whiskey. Please.” Lando told the bartender who nodded. Lando sighed and looked around. He saw two-men playing pool. They looked to be in there 20's

On the other side of the bar was an older man reading a paper. No one else was in the bar.

“Excuse me. Do you have a pay phone I can use?” Lando asked the bartender when he placed his drink in front of him.

The bartender chuckled. “You're in bad luck mate. Phone broke yesterday.”

Lando grumbled. “Thanks anyway.” He sipped his whisky slightly thinking of ways to contact Oscar to come get him out of this mess.

The bartender offered him a small smile. “Do you have anywhere to sleep for the night mate?” He asked as he cleaned some glasses.

Lando shook his head. “No. I’m lost. Can you tell me where I am?” Lando looked around the bar and he could tell the bar was well looked after.

The town he was in looked pretty nice but when Lando was walking in he could tell it was small. That not many people knew it was here. He had seen many of ranches and some old looking house when he was looking for a pay phone.

“Old Range.” (Fake) The bartender said. “I’m Jeff, and that old man down there is my father John he owns the hotel across the road. You can sleep there for the night.” Jeff offered Lando.

Lando nodded in thanks. “Thank you.” He sent a smile to Jeff and John; John just waved him off and went back to reading hardly paying attention.

“Yes!!” An excited yell made Lando look over and see the two guys playing pool.

Jeff shook his head at the guys playing pool. He poured Lando another drink. The front bar doors opened and when Lando looked over to the door he felt like the air was stolen from his lungs.

The most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life was standing there looking at him. She had a nice blue dress, compared with a leathered belt around her waist. And of course, cowboys boot along with the black cowboy hat.

Y/n smiled as she walked over to the bar. She stopped and kissed John on the cheek before taking a seat next to Lando.

“Jeff.” Y/n greeted with a smile one he returned. "Whisky please." She turned to Lando and sent him a smile that had him melting. "Not from around here?" She asked as she looked him up and down.

Lando suddenly felt silly for wearing a hoodie and jeans. Mainly the hoodie. "No." He gulped.

You hummed taking a sip of your drink.

"First place again, Y/n?" Jeff asked the girl.

She nodded, "It was tuff, but they can never beat the rebel." She grinned; Jeff just laughed.

"What did you get first place for?" Lando couldn't help but ask.

The boys that were at the pool table laughed making Lando look back at them. Y/n shot them a look making them shut up. She looked at Lando, "Barrel racing." She answered him.

Lando looked wide eyed at her, "Wow." He breathed out. "Isn't it dangerous?" He asked intred.

Y/n shrugged, "Yeah but I know what I'm doing." She nodded to over his shoulder and Lando turned and saw photos and newspaper clipping all over the wall. "Thats all me." She explained to him.

He couldn't help but get up and get a closer look. Y/n got up as well and stood shoulder to shoulder to him. There were folders of her holding trophies and belt buckles from a little age to now he guessed.

"How long have you been barrel racing." Lando asked. His British accent showing making Y/n grin.

"Since I was four. I did it on pony and then horse once I got older. Travel all around the world." She explained. She pointed to a higher up picture. It was a picture collum with five photos of her holding a big trofie with a buckle int he other hand. "I'm a five-time world barrel racing champion." She grinned bumping shoulders with a god smacked Lando.

"Jesus." He breathed out. When this beautiful girl couldn't get more interesting. He chuckled, "And I can't even win a race."

Y/n hummed looking fondly at the photos. "You will one day." She told him.

Lando hummed but whipped around to look at her with frowned eyebrows wondering how she knew what he meant. "Do you now that I'm an F1 racer?"

Y/m turned to him and smirked, "Y/n Piastri. Pleasure." She told him.

Lando just started at her in wonder. "Your related to Oscar? You?"

She giggled. "Cousins. He called me before and told me he had been calling you. He checked where your last known location was and asked me to come and get you." She explained to him.

"Wow." Lando said. He took a seat at one of the bar tables near the wall. "Man, my day has been hectic."

Y/n hummed and sat across from him. "It's easy-to-get lost around these parts. But it has its perks from growing up around here." She told him. "I told Oscar I'll bring you to the ranch tomorrow."

Lando smiled at her in thanks. She smiled back making him blush a little. "But for now we should get some food in you." She beamed before looking at Jeff. "Just the usual." She told the bartender making him grin and nod before going through the doors to the kitchen.

"I should of recognized you from the photos Oscar showed me." Lando told the girl.

"Oscar talks about me?" Y/n asked as she leaned forward a bit.

Lando nodded, "All the time." Making Y/n smile.

Lando and Y/n sat there talking about barrel racing and Y/n asking more about F1. There conversation flowed making John look up from his paper now and then.

It was interesting seeing Y/n take an interest in a boy. She has had past relationships, but they never worked out. Especially the bull riding boys.

A plate being put on the table made their conversation stop. On the plate was a good-sized steak and chips. Jeff winked giving Y/n a small bowl of chips.

"Enjoy." He said before going back behind the bar to get the boys from the pool table another drink.

"This looks amazing." Lando looked at the steak in amazement.

"Yeah, Jeff makes the best steak ever." Y/n told the brit as she started eating her chips. She watched as Lando smiled at the taste of it. "Good?"

"Define." Lando answered making Y/n giggle. For the rest of the night Lando and Y/n had eaten, talked, drank and played pool with the two guys.

The two giggled together crossing the dirt road to the motel, Y/n's hat on Lando's head. John had gone and gotten Lando's key for him before they left the bar. Y/n smiled and looked up at the clear sky.

Lando stopped to see what she was doing. He had his arm around her shoulders with Y/n holding his hand that was round her. "Why'd you stop?" He asked.

When she didn't answer he looked to sky where she was looking. The sky was so clear you could see the stars so clearly. Them shining brightly down to them. "It's so beautiful." Lando spoke soflty.

"I never see stars like this anywhere else." Y/n confessed. "Home is where the heart is." She said leaning her head on Lando's shoulder.

Lando leaned his head on her head. "That's the truth." He whispered.

They stood there looking at the sly before Lando leaded them to their rooms that were next to each other.

"Well, this is me." Y/n said at her door. Lando smiled at her and tucked a piece of her brown blackish hair behind her ear. When Y/n looked at him she couldn't but smile, "Why are you smiling at me?"

"You're so beautiful." He confessed to her admiring all her features that made her, her. He wouldn't be able to live not doing what he was about to do.

Y/n blushed and giggled trying not to let his complement go to her heart. She had already felt like Lando was amazing and could be more. "Your drunk." She told him.

Lando shook his head in refusal and took both her cheeks in his hands. "I have never been more sober then right now. God when you walked into, the bar this afternoon I thought you were most beautiful woman in the world. And I won't be able to go to asleep without doing this." Lando confessed to her.

Before she could ask what, he was going to do he kissed her. It didn't take a moment for Y/n to kiss him back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged on his curls making him groan. It was like a part of them each other had found each other.

They parted. Foreheads leaning on each other. "You don't even know me." Y/n told the brit.

Lando shook his head softly, "I want to know you. I want to know the good and the bad." He told her, his breath fanning her face. Y/n smiled tracing his face with her finger tips.

"You do?"

"Yes."

And they kissed again. So passionately. Y/n smiled into the kiss. In that moment after just meeting a few hours ago they knew they were meant for each other. They both just knew.

When they parted again for the second time, Y/n took a step back and opened her hotel door and beckoned him making him grin and Y/n to squeal when he picked her up again.

It was one of the best nights that Lando had ever had. He had never met a girl as beautiful, kind and just God dam different then Y/n. He fell in love that night when he went to asleep in the old town hotel with Y/n next to him.

It was the start of one of the tales of Y/n and Lando. Anyone that saw them together would think they would never go together. With Y/n all county like and Lando far from it, but just one second with them, you would know that they were better together then apart.

And Oscar had sworn that he had never seen Lando happier than he was when he was with his cousin. And now a new photo sat on the wall of the bar.

But whenever there in their little town they always star gaze together.

You guys can request anything you want for Lando.

[seungfl0wer]

Can I request for how Stray Kids would cuddle please?!?!

*How Stray Kids Would Cuddle You*

-🩵Cuddly SKZ is honestly always on my mind I hope you enjoy this, made this one both gifs and a small bit of thoughts cause I have a lot on this topic I guess lol💙

These are souly my opinions

Some GIFs might be mature You are warned!

Bangchan:

I feel like Chan is just such a great cuddler. He’s so warm and loving, he just wraps you in his arms and doesn’t want to let you go. Always peppers you with kisses and tells you how much he loves you constantly. I firmly believe he’s gotten inspo many times while yall are cuddling (for a song) probably about you

Lino:

This man very much melts to your affection. He may try to act all nonchalant about it but he enjoys it so so much. Just to have you close to him. Hearing your heart beat makes him let out little hums of just happiness. Man basically purrs he’ll whine anytime you move though. “Stop moving I was so comfortable”

Changbin:

Holds onto you like his life depends on it. You have to pee? Better hold it as long as you can cause he’s gonna whine so much if you try to get up. This is the time he looks forward to just unwinding with the love of his life. Will probably have really deep convos with you like this. Or really dumb ones like “is a hotdog a sandwich or taco”

Hyunjin:

He likes to have you facing him, he loves staring into your eyes, getting lost in how much he truly is in love with you. Constantly gives you kisses while you try to talk to him finds it way to cute when you try and get back to what you were saying. Plays with your hair a lot, also loves kissing your nose especially when you fall asleep.

Han:

I feel like Han really likes being the little spoon. Just you holding him close to him feeling how much you love him. Brining your hand up to his lips and giving it small pecks. He’s probably out like a light, just feels the happiest this way. Mans probably also steals all the blankets

Felix:

The cuddle bug himself. One thing I feel like he definitely 100% loves is laying on your chest listing to your heart beat. Something about this just gives him such comfort and makes his heart all warm. He’s constantly rubbing your back giving you compliments. When you do it in return though man can’t help but get all giddy.

Seungmin:

Play with this man’s hair, just do it he’ll be putty you’ll get those big ol puppy eyes when you stop. He will 100% sing to you while, especially if you’re having troubles sleeping. He’ll have you lay on his chest so “you can hear it better” will in fact have a folder of pics of you sleeping because you’re cute also for blackmail

Jeongin:

Mans might not be super affectionate public wise but i genuinely think he’s just a big softy in private with you. Wants nothing more than to have you close to him. Whether it be him holding you, you spooning him he doesn’t care. He’s just happy you’re there with him.

-🩵Hope you guys enjoyed this, if requests are open feel free to send one in💙

[lovebittenbyevans]

Only His Sweetheart | Part 2

Summary: After the summer break is over, you start to notice some new faces on campus this year when you didn’t expect to see frat boy Oscar Piastri being around you more lately.

Pairing: frat boy! Oscar Piastri x nerd! Female Reader

Warnings: one curse word

Author note: My brain been scattering all over the place. I thought about doing a part 2 to this so many times and I know some people ask for it. After re-reading it myself I realized I fell in love with the story 🥹❤️ Here is part 2 & enjoy reading!

Previous: One Shot (Part 1)

– Comments, Reblogs and Likes are appreciated

Part 2

Oscar: Sweetheart, I’m free this morning! The cafe on campus work for me

Here goes that fucking nickname again

Your thumb taps the message on your phone as you reread his message one more time before you respond to him.

You: Sure….

You was not looking forward to this at all. You wanted to back out but it is already too late for that. You zipped your backpack shut and sling it over your shoulder, putting your phone inside the pocket of your jeans.

You saw there wasn’t many people inside the cafe when you opened the door. The only thing you can hear is the bell ringing above the door every time someone walks in. You sat at an empty table while the waiter placed the menu on the table.

While removing your stuff from your backpack, you hear a chair being dragged and a voice. “I am here to learn.” You roll your eyes and scoff. “Oscar, hi.”

He took a seat in his chair and took out his textbooks, notebook and pen. “Thanks again for doing this and meeting me here.” He slung his backpack over his chair.

You nodded. “Do you know anything about Biology?”

He grabbed his pen in one hand and opened his notebook. “It’s the study of life and is about living organisms.”

“Correct.” You open your notebook as you glance at the menu in front of you.

The waiter came over to the table and wrote down on her notepad what you two wanted to drink with breakfast food before walking away. You never actually sat in the daily grind cafe. You only came here for coffee and breakfast food. You didn’t realize they had more food options.

Oscar flipped open his textbook as he apologized to you. “I’m so sorry about Calla.”

You looked at him for a second. “Don’t apologize for her. I’ve seen girls act like that plenty of times.” You open your textbook on the table. “Turn to page 25. We will start from there.”

He was fixated on you. “Yeah but, she–” You cut him off quickly. “Oscar, jealous girls don’t bother me all that much since guys like you and regular guys don't talk to me.”

You continue. “Don’t worry about it. This isn’t high school anymore. I understand she doesn’t want any girl to take her man.”

He shakes his head and scoffs. “She isn’t my girlfriend.”

You let out a laugh. “That’s what they all say.” The waiter came back to the table with the food and drinks. You take a sip of your coffee feeling the hot latte against your tongue.

Oscar took notes as he intently listened to you and followed along in the textbooks with what you was reading. You had him do some short quizzes and answer the question as well.

“I put b for my answer.” He started to read the answers to you. “The prokaryotic cell lacks a true nucleus. DNA is found in a singular circular chromosome in the cytoplasm.”

You nodded. “That’s correct, you got most of these answers right.” You finished the last bite of your brownie.

He smiled, feeling glad for once. You looked at the time on your phone screen and noticed class was going to start soon. “I think that will be it for today. Let’s come back another time and do this.” You began to pack your stuff in your backpack.

“Wait, you don’t have another free class period?” He asked.

He wanted you to stay with him a little bit longer. It felt kind of strange that he likes being with you so far even though you two don’t know each other that well.

You zipped up your backpack and slung it over your shoulder. “Yeah, I have Animal Behavior then music class.” You got up from your seat while pushing the chair underneath.

Oscar was just starting to like the way you teach. He thought being able to study with you would be two hours maybe but that was just his brain talking.

“I’ll walk you to class.” He got up from his seat holding his backpack.

You blink at him for a second before you walk out the door hearing the bell above. You just wanted to be left alone. You didn’t need someone else with you.

“Wait!” You heard him behind you.

Go away

He walked alongside you. “Oscar, I can walk by myself. Don’t you have baseball practice at this minute?” You wanted him to leave you alone.

He looks down at his watch checking the time. “I can be a little late.”

You sigh. “Just go Oscar. Text me when you want to meet up again.”

“Y/N, I thought we could get to know each other better.” He ignored what you said and continued to walk with you.

You stopped walking for a minute and let out a chuckle. “What? We don’t need to do the whole get to know each other card and besides you are only acting like that because you don’t wanna leave me yet.”

You was not stupid. You know how these college fraternity boys are. You watch too many movies about college to not realize that.

“Sweetheart I–” He didn’t know what to say because he got caught.

Opening the door to Everwood University, you walked inside with Oscar right behind you. You wish he would leave you the fuck alone. When you arrived at class, he grabbed your wrist and turned you to face him. “Look, maybe you're right but maybe it’s time for me to branch out to a different friend group.”

You looked down at his hand and then back up at him. “Friends?” You pulled away from him and burst out laughing. “We are not friends, Oscar.”

He sighs seriously. “Sweetheart, I’m trying to be serious.”

“And how is that working out for you? Don’t go around using the word friends loosely. It’s not a good look for you but I’m sure the fraternity boys enjoyed your company more.” You walked into the class leaving him standing there.

In your mind you can tell Oscar was full of shit. It was written all over him. You dealt with enough boy popularity when you were in high school.

You sat down next to Sage while putting your notebook and pen on the desk. “What did Oscar Piastri want from you?” She asked.

You almost forgot how nosy she can be

“Nothing.” The only thing you say to her.

More students start to fill in the class while you write on the top of your notebook. “I just never seen you speak to anyone besides me.” Sage spoke again. “He’s not bothering you right?”

Your phone buzzed in your pocket before you could respond to her. You take your phone out of your pocket and see Oscar text on the screen.

Oscar: Sweetheart, I was just trying to squeeze in a little bit of your time longer before we aren’t acquaintances anymore

Three dotted lines show up as you roll your eyes. You didn’t have time to text all day. You had classes to attend.

Oscar: just letting you know that you are the only girl whoever been nice to me and see me

You roll your eyes again and put your phone back in your pocket. Boys like Oscar just love to sweet talk any girl they get in contact with and you was not going to fall for it.

“What are some examples of animal play behavior, and what functions does play serve in animal development?” Placing his laptop on the desk, Professor Kaius posed a question to the entire class.

[dadvans]

chick flick moments (bucktommy)

[i can’t stop thinking about tommy’s favorite movie being Love, Actually.]

Tommy hasn’t really talked or seen his family in roughly twenty years. His firefighting career has never been enough, if they were ever keeping tabs, to make up for his dishonorable discharge. And honestly, it’s been fine with him. His family has always been the suffocating kind of conservative and earning their love stopped being a hill he would choose to die on for longer than they’ve been radio silent.

Someone is keeping tabs though, or maybe the news of his recent heroics have a broader reach than he thought, because a few months after getting a medal for the cruise liner disaster response, someone reaches out. Tommy is hesitant to engage because he’s pretty happy without them in his life, but maybe at first it was a cousin or uncle, but that’s followed by one of his sisters trying to get into contact, followed by his mom, followed by his dad. And they’re persistent. Maybe they do want to make amends. And maybe he doesn’t need his blood family but there’s that tiniest part of him left that still wants that connection.

This is how he gets suckered into the most miserable Christmas dinner of his life. It’s not actually Christmas, it’s a few days before when the whole clan can get together, and it’s just as claustrophobic and awful as ever, every word spoken saturated in judgment and triple meanings that Tommy long since has lost the muscle to withstand.

Evan had wanted to come with him, said a whole bunch of shit about how they were PARTNERS, and how it could not be nearly as bad as his own parents were, but Tommy’s extended family holiday dinners are like a Los Angeles Miserable People convention crowded between the dining room and kitchen tables, and Evan’s still licking some wounds after surviving Gerrard’s brief yet nightmarish tenure back at the 118, maybe next time. This first round Tommy needs to do solo. So, Evan drops him off around the corner in the afternoon with a promise to come pick him up later that night.

Evan checks in with him pretty frequently, sending him stupid videos and things he finds on the internet, but Tommy gets hit immediately by some pretty barbed comments about being a grown man on his phone who doesn’t give a shit about the olive branch he’s being offered, so he stops checking so much.

Finally, halfway through too many glasses of wine and an early evening roast that make his memories of MREs seem like a pleasant dream, his phone starts going off pretty insistently. It’s Evan.

The doorbell is about to ring and i need you to be the one to answer it.

Well, that’s worrisome. He’s pretty close to the hallway though, so he types back: ok.

The doorbell rings. He shoves away from the table, waving everyone else back down. “I’ll get it.”

Evan is at the door. He has his phone out with a little plug-in speaker, and oh God, a stack of cue cards—

Unbelievable. “What are you doing.”

Evan enthusiastically hits play on his phone and as tinny Christmas music starts to play, holds up the first card: TELL THEM IT’S CAROLERS

He shakes his head. “Evan, even if they believed me, they would probably love that and would come check it out.”

“Tommy, who’s at the door?” His uncle calls from the dining room.

Tommy rolls his eyes and shouts back, “Planned Parenthood asking for donations!”

“Tell ‘em were eating dinner and to get the fuck out of here!”

Tommy looks at Evan pointedly, eyebrows raised, hands in pockets as if to say: well?

Evan flips to the next few cue cards:

I NEVER SAW THIS MOVIE BEFORE YOU MADE ME WATCH IT flip AND HONESTLY IT WASNT THAT GOOD flip BUT TO ME YOU ARE WORTH IT

“Evan,” Tommy says, softening.

AND I KNOW YOU THINK YOU ARE PROTECTING ME BY TELLING ME TO STAY HOME flip AND THOUGH WHATEVER IS GOING ON CAN’T BE AS BAD AS WATCHING LOVE, ACTUALLY flip OR HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS flip OR THE WEDDING PLANNER flip OR 50 FIRST DATES flip (I ACTUALLY LIKED FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL) flip I WANTED TO CHECK IN

Evan fumbles the cards to the hand holding his phone to pull something out of his back pocket, a piece of paper he gives Tommy, before flipping to the next card: I MADE THIS RANSOM NOTE IF YOU NEED TO BE KIDNAPPED flip AND WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE

It’s easily the stupidest grand gesture anyone’s ever directed at Tommy. He looks over the piece of paper, words threateningly put together cut out from Evan’s copies of Food & Wine and Men’s Health. He nods to himself, smiling, then looks up at Evan who is cheesing back.

“Yeah,” he says, feels for his phone and wallet in his pocket, before dropping the paper to the welcome mat and stepping outside, ready to escape back home to the only family he needs.