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#like I'm not creeped out by him but i want to help him bc he's clearly going through it. like how did he get into that situation
eggmeralda · 2 years
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if I had a nickel for everytime a funny little guy from an album cover by a band I don't regularly listen to evoked something vague and unknown in my soul and haunted my thoughts during late january/early february, I would have two nickels
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blueywrites · 5 months
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u-haul 'cause I might let you move in it (1/2)
dom dealer!eddie x sub fem!reader Inspired by @2jihiir0's fanart 'make it quick... baby's sleeping'. leave them some love! read part two here.
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cw (both parts): 18+. smut, drug use (weed), situationship becoming something more (???), shame kink, praise & degradation, pet names, exhibitionism-adjacent, no y/n, no physical descriptors, eddie's still a fairly soft dom bc I'm just not hard like that 😭
an: this is just the start of the filth, y'all - most of it occurs in part two 😌 shout out to @munson-blurbs @hellfire--cult @word-wytch and @the-unforgivenn for their feral support and @fracturedarkness bc this wouldn't exist without her.
enjoy part one! 🩵
The afternoon sun hangs heavy in the sky, casting a warm, golden glow through the dusty blinds of the trailer. The air inside is thick with the scent of smoke and stale beer, a heady mixture that clings to the walls. It’s the kind of smell that seeps into your clothes, your hair, your skin. It should leave you feeling slightly suffocated, especially considering the oppressive humidity also clinging to every surface, but somehow, there's a measure of comfort in the acrid scent.
You’re sitting on the threadbare couch, the fabric worn with age creaking as you shift restlessly, trying to find a more comfortable position in the heat. The fabric scratches your soles as you prop your feet up, leaning against the couch arm, fanning the neck of your thin tank top to peel the dampness from your chest. Beneath the old coffee table, your flip-flops lay forgotten, abandoned on the threadbare carpet. A beer bottle sits nearby, sweating rings onto the surface of the table, a testament to the lazy haze of the afternoon.
On the other side of the couch, your dealer lounges against the cushions, his movements fluid and practiced as he rolls a joint with deft, inked fingers. You look over at Eddie as he watches the TV, his head lolled back against the couch, his eyes heavy-lidded, relaxed. He looks good. You can’t help but spend a long moment staring at him: the angles of his face, his big brown eyes and puffy lips, his long, shaggy curls that frame his high cheekbones. He’s pretty, and he’d look downright innocent if it wasn’t for the long nick of white scar tissue kissing the edge of his lip and the scruff darkening his cheeks and jaw. Your gaze dips lower over his tight black jeans, lingering where they meet his rust-colored tank. The shirt is caught up around his hip, revealing a strip of pale skin and a tattoo that you can just see the bottom of. You want to run your tongue over it, then keep mapping all his ink until your mouth has touched each bit of darkness on him.
This thing with Eddie started when you broke up with Trevor and lost your go-to source for getting high. When you’d asked around, a friend of a friend recommended Eddie Munson, saying he was the best you could come by in the area: decent product, reasonable prices, and not a total creep. The first couple times were quick transactions, and then you started hanging around because the girl who hooked you up also told you Eddie would likely offer to smoke you out if you did. He let you hang around because he didn't much care either way, and he didn't find you hard to look at. That led quickly to casual sex whenever you saw each other, usually when you'd come by a couple times a month to restock your supply. And the sex is great– better than the weed, and Eddie's weed is always high quality. He just has this ability to make you feel special in the moment without having any expectations about whatever-you-and-he-were as soon as you pull your panties back on, leaving you free to date whoever you wanted when you left his trailer.
It’s ecstasy to have all of his attention focused on you in those moments because, though Eddie looks like a mean bastard, he gets off on your pleasure. He's not one to make you feel used or neglected; he's a thorough lover. And he has a knack for straddling the perfect line between sweet and sour. He'd praise you then humiliate you in the next breath, and it drove you wild. Kept you coming back even though he never expressed interest in taking you out or doing anything with you other than just getting high, watching TV, and fucking you 'til you screamed.
And then, at some point, you find yourself declining guys' offers for dinner or drinks. You just don’t feel like going out anymore, because trying to find Mr. Right was getting exhausting— at least, that's what you tell yourself. And Eddie starts calling you sometimes to let you know he had a new strain he thought you'd like, some of Rick's fancy shit. Soon enough, you go from seeing him twice a month to twice a week, sometimes more. And slowly but surely, you begin to notice a change in yourself. You start staring at all his tattoos and wondering what the stories are behind them. Feeling an odd flutter when you flop down next to him and he'd sling his arm around your shoulder without a thought. Laying tangled in his musty bedsheets, and when he leaves to go to the bathroom, secretly burying your nose against his pillow because the smell of him has suddenly become... comforting.
Things are changing for you, and you really hope they are for him, too. 'Cause if not, it seems your traitorous heart has determined you'll be in for a world of hurt.
"Y'want some of this?" Eddie's voice cuts through the haze, drawing your attention away from the television. You glance over to see him holding up the joint, a lazy smirk playing at the corners of his lips. The glow of the joint illuminates his features, soft against the curve of his cheek.
You nod, a small smile tugging at your own lips as you shift closer to him. He pats his thigh, a silent invitation, and you don’t hesitate to straddle his lap, the heat of his body seeping through your pajama shorts. His jeans are rough against your tender inner thighs as you shift, grazing the hardening bulge pressing against his zipper; your stomach tightens with the first whispers of arousal as you feel it brush against you.
"Gimme a show then, kitten," he murmurs, his voice low and husky, making that arousal bloom fuller as you grow excited. It’s a playful taunt, a challenge, but beneath the teasing facade, you can sense something more—a hint of possessiveness, maybe even of longing. That could just be your wishful thinking, but nonetheless, your heart races at the prospect as you meet his gaze, accepting his challenge.
With a coy smile, you slip off the couch, settling on your knees and running your nails up his thighs on your way to his lap. You take your time unbuckling his belt, keeping your movements slow and unhurried, though you secretly throb as you begin to unwrap him. It’s crazy how quickly he turns you on— how all he has to do is smirk and pin you with a look, or murmur a few words in that low, husky tone, and you’re already wetting your panties for him. 
Eddie waits just long enough for you to shimmy his jeans and boxers down to his knees, and then he catches you by the jaw with a broad, rough palm. You look up at him as he guides you back up with his light grip on your face. His eyes flick down to your mouth as he leans forward, curls swinging to kiss his jaw. You brighten, eager to feel his mouth on yours, wondering what kind of kiss he’ll reward you with— something slow and sweet, or wet and filthy. But he leaves just a peck on your lips before drawing back, tightening his hold on your jaw to keep you firmly in place when you instinctively go to chase him.
You fall immediately into a pout, slumping back on your heels as he breathes a chuckle at you. Eddie bends to lightly pat your cheek a few times in consolation before settling back into the cushions, his posture relaxed yet commanding. He must know the gesture would rile you up, and it does— you feel your disappointment churn in your belly, turning to petulance. In retaliation, you clamber up to your feet, abandoning your position kneeling before his boots. With narrowed eyes, you drop your shorts and panties together without ceremony, stepping out of them and kicking them to the side, denying him the chance to enjoy watching you strip. You cross your arms when your bratting only makes him smirk even wider at you. He quirks an eyebrow as if to say, “Well?” 
You resent how much you like his stupid face.
The couch creaks its protest as you climb up onto it, slinging a leg over his lap again, this time with nothing separating your skin from his, which is hot and slightly sticky with the humidity. His cock kicks subtly when your pussy grazes him, and you bite your lip, feeling an answering pulse of desire within yourself. When you mount him, reaching behind to grip him at the base and notch his fat head at your entrance, Eddie prepares for your performance: draping his arms casually over the backrest, fingers idly tapping against the worn fabric, his other arm hinging to bring the joint lazily to his lips. 
He looks like such an asshole, waiting for you to service him. And you might've goaded him more because of it, but you forget about being bratty the second you sink down on his lap, taking him all the way into you. 
A quiet moan sighs from between your cracked lips when you sit fully on his cock, your eyes slipping closed as you get lost in that initial stretch. He's not the only guy you've fucked— far from it— but there’s just something about the way he slots inside, nudging against the end of you, that always leaves you feeling more perfectly filled than anyone else. Eddie watches with a sly glint in his half-lidded eyes as you start to grind on him, letting yourself drift into the space he always brings you into. With him, you can be soft, sensual, and needy, but also desperate and pathetic. You can act out all your secret desires, know that Eddie will flay you open and force you to acknowledge them, and let the shame of it get you off all at once.
Eddie lets you be a freak, and better yet, he likes it.
Desperate to earn his approval, you run your hands up your body, dragging over your hips and up to your neck as you ride him. Your abdomen rolls as you grind with fluid, sensual movements, doing your best to put on the show he’d requested. You look at him through your lashes as your wandering fingers catch on the hem of your tank top, dragging it slowly up to reveal your soft belly. You hold it just below your breasts so Eddie can watch the way your curves bend and move while you work his cock. 
In some respects, the dance is for you as much as it’s for him because the way Eddie watches you with rapt attention, his eyes devouring every inch of your body, really turns you on. You bite your lip, your clit swelling with anticipation as you tease him with a glimpse of the underside of your breasts. He hums approvingly, taking a leisurely hit from the joint. As the smoke curls around him in a tantalizing haze, you give in sooner than you’d been intending and ruck up your top to let your breasts fall out. You start to play with them, squeezing and kneading as you rock your hips harder, your own need mounting.
Gradually, your performance ceases being a performance. Your nipples begin to ache, begging to be touched, and a moan spills unbidden from your lips as you tweak and pinch them, sending pleasure zinging straight down within you. You close your eyes, a tiny frown forming as you try to concentrate on the low flame of your arousal, but it remains at a frustratingly low simmer. You rock faster, grind harder, pinch harsher, your movements a silent plea for the sweet relief only Eddie can give. You’ve built your own pleasure as much as you can on your own, and now, you need him. The coyness is wiped from your expression, replaced with a begging pinch in your brow, a needy, wet shine in your eyes as you blink unseeingly at him, all pretty and pathetic on his lap.
At the border between satisfaction and desperation— that’s where he wanted you. 
A hand at your hip stills your movements, and as your eyes snap to focus on Eddie's face, you see he’s leaned forward, his nose scant inches from yours. His other elbow is planted on the couch arm, the joint poised tantalizingly nearby in his ringed fingers. Eddie squeezes your hip firmly, then again more gratuitously, and when you obediently fall still to sit motionless on his cock, he lets his palm slide up the curve of your waist in a drag that makes you gasp, you're so wired and ready for his touch. You watch, rapt, as he brings the joint toward his lips, salivating as a swipe of his tongue moistens them.
“Look at me.” 
Your eyes snap up to his, captured completely by his unwavering gaze. As he inhales, those brown eyes glitter in the orange that flares bright at the joint’s end. And he keeps that point of contact between you as his broad palm travels up, up, up— over the supple heft of your breast, grazing the hard peak of your nipple, skimming the thrumming pulse in your neck, his thumb catching on the underside of your jaw as he cups your cheek. He closes those scant inches between you, and when the bulb of his nose nudges yours, your mouth falls open as your eyes slip closed. 
He exhales, you inhale. When the warm rush of Eddie’s breath kisses your lips, you take it into you, your chest expanding as your lungs fill with smoke. The taste of him mingles with a heady rush of arousal, and you continue to take, even through the twinge of discomfort as your lungs stretch to accommodate it all. As Eddie gives you the last of his smoke, you close your mouth, keeping it all inside.
“Hold it,” he murmurs against your skin. His lips trail kisses along your jaw as you obey, fighting your diaphragm as it hitches, wanting to cough. You make a little noise in the back of your throat when he nips you, the brief sharp sting soothed soon after by the flat of his tongue. You hold as long as you can, and when you finally exhale, Eddie rewards you by taking hold of your hips, pulling you into a slow, sensual grind as he kisses you sloppy, wet lips wide and devouring. The friction and fervor crash over you in an intense wave of pleasure, one that has you whining, twisting your fingers in his hair, pressing your tits to his chest, ready to ignite—
The front door shakes with the pounding of a heavy fist.
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lowkeyremi · 9 months
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jjk men and aftercare ft. Gojo, Choso, Nanami, Toji, and Geto.
a/n: I saw something like this awhile ago and forgot to write abt it but here I am now babyyyy. also not proofread bc im tired :P
cw: really suggestive, established relationships, how they are after sex basically :)
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Gojo Satoru
When you two first started hitting third base Gojo was all about himself and about how he felt. When you had cleaned yourself up and prepared for bed that night Satoru finally realized something was wrong.
"What's wrong, babe? I thought you liked it??" He asks, worried about his performance in bed. Your silence prompts him to try and figure out what he had done wrong, and honestly he couldn't even think of anything.
"Pleaseeee tell me. I won't know if you don't say anything." Those invasive thoughts that tell you, "you don't matter to him." start to attack your brain once again. He's way out of your league you start to think.
"Aftercare. You didn't even offer to help me clean up, Satoru." Saying it out loud makes you sound kind of petty in your opinion but it does matter.
"OH. Shit baby I'm so so so so sorry!!!!! I- It's just-" He cuts himself off and tries to reword his sentence, "Well, back then I.. I was sleeping around so my pleasure was the only thing that mattered to me. It's different.. you know? Dating. I'm still working out everything. I won't forget next time I promise."
He'd been telling the truth because from then on he always went all out with aftercare. He would run you a bath with your favorite salts and oils, he'd make you your favorite snacks, he'd even cuddle you afterwards until you fell asleep. (rich boyfriend privileges)
Choso Kamo
He'd been waiting so long to finally sleep with you for the first time so he had done all his research prior to the day. He was looking at your dilated pupils, messy hair, and the cum that sat on your stomach.
"Okay so, according to the article I read, I should run you a hot bath, yeah?" He asks nervously.
A small smile braces your lips. In all honesty you probably should have expected this much from Choso. He wants to make sure everything is perfect.
"You looked up aftercare???" You sit up on the bed and a back cramp decides to hit right then and there. As soon as he hears your groan he sprints the the kitchen, only to return with a heat pad.
"Heat pad for cramps?" He's truly nervous, and eager to please you, the love of his life.
"Thank you, Cho. I'll take you up on that bath."
"Of course, I'll get in with you if that's okay." The smile on your face is enough of an answer.
Nanami Kento
YOU ARE WINNING!!!!
Massages, baths, homemade snacks, you name and he'll do it for you. In his mind it's the least he can do for you, because you treat him so well and give him that pretty pussy he loves so much.
"Right here?" He's currently working those skilled fingers into your tight muscles after bending you every which way.
"Ohhh... yes right there, baby. Hurts so muchhhh." You whine and moan at the same time. At this point you two have already bathed and he's made sure to moisturize your body leaving you clean and refreshed.
He seemed to notice the way you limped and asked if you need anything. The sex was good really, but you didn't want to tell him that folding you in half wasn't the best idea. Oh, but he's persistent would not leave you alone until you told him what was wrong.
Once you told him he had immediately sat you down, picked up your favorite lotion and started to work out the kinks in your body.
"I'm so sorry, again." He mumbles quietly.
"Stop apologizing, Kento. These things happen. At least I know to stretch before hand next time." His face softens at your giggles and he presses a small kiss to your thigh.
"Oh do not get me started." A smile creeps up his face, while blush slowly spreads across yours.
Toji Fushiguro
BOOOOOO no aftercare. well maybe not much at least.
Has not properly cared for a woman since his late wife but he realizes if he wants you to stay he'll have to fix that.
At first he would throw a wet rag at you and give a simple, "here clean up." When he got out the shower he was genuinely confused why you were no longer at his apartment.
As soon as you picked up he could tell you were pissed, "What do you want, Fushiguro."
He's a little shocked, did not expect that from you, "I'm your boyfriend so it's Toji and not Fushiguro. The hell is your problem??"
The silence is so loud. For a second he thought you'd hung up on him. "Hello??"
"I'm giving you some time to think about that dumbass question and figure out why I'm mad at you." He clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes too. He's lucky you can't see it.
"Ugh, I don't have time to play the damn guessing game. You're always mad about the little things.. what is it?" He's running through anything he could have possibly done wrong recently.
"Toji, you threw a fucking wet washcloth at me and told me to clean myself up. I'm your girlfriend, not one of your one night stands!" There it is, and the bad part is he doesn't even see what's wrong with that. (at first)
"I don't even give them something to clean up with, I just leave. But damn if you want me to get all fancy and shit I'll try." He scratches his head and begins to wonder why women are so hard to please.
Let me tell you he's no Nanami, but it's getting better. Still falls asleep afterward most times tho :/
Geto Suguru
You do it yourself for the most part, and here's why.
He's over here washing you up in the tub and he can't stop staring at your soapy titties and it just leads to more sex.
It's never just aftercare with him. He's always chasing more. Like that time you asked him to massage your legs after you two had finished fucking in the tub.
"Yeah shit why not? Lotion or oil??" He asks looking through your products.
"Uhhh lotion's fine." You'd grabbed your phone to see if your mother left you a voicemail which she did. She talked about how you need to pick up the phone or at least text her your alive if you're not gonna pick up. You were NOT going to pick up earlier though. Suguru likes to tease and you learned that the hard way when he was eating you out while you were discussing group bonding dinner ideas with your boss over the phone.
Anyway, he made his way to the bed with your lotion and all things went to hell. It was slow at first, nothing too sensual, then of course he had to slip a finger in your pussy and you sat there and stared.
"We are not doing this, we just got out of the bath." You were so serious, but so was he. (you were also aroused so)
"Another bath never hurt anybody, 'fraid of a little water baby??"
(such an annoying whore)
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star-sim · 9 months
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supermassive blackhole ☆ jay park pt. 1
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☆ non-idol! spiderman! jay x fem!reader
☆ summary: You and Jay Park couldn't stand each other. But after a drunk makeout session at your university's annual soccer mixer, combined with Jay's secret identity as the city's friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, the two of you are pushed closer to each other than ever, challenging your long-time status as 'enemies.'
☆genre: enemies to lovers, suggestive but no nsfw/smut, angst, fluff, spiderman! au, college! au, so incredibly american HELP, reader has glasses bc it's cute and jay has a lip piercing bc i said so
☆ warning(s) ? many mentions and instances of alcohol (all characters are of age) , this is very suggestive but there is no smut
☆ word count:  13.7k
☆ a/n: my dumbass didn't factor in character block limit when i wrote this shit so i'm gonna split this fic up into two parts... sorry guys :( lmk if you want me to tag you in part 2, also this has a diff style so lmk how we feel abt it 😇
part 2
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“Oh, thank you so much, Spider-Man!”
It was a warm spring evening, and Spider-Man had been on his evening city patrol. When he found a little old lady calling for help, who was he to refuse her? Her cat had been stuck in a tree, and she needed someone to help her. Hopping up on the tree, he safely retrieved the ball of fluff.
“Of course, Ma’am,” the superhero chuckled. If only she could see him through his mask, he would be grinning. “Get home safely.”
Watching the little lady’s retreating back, Spider-Man shot a web to the top of a building, and hoisted himself up into the air.
On late-spring nights like this, it was peaceful. He liked the breeze that hit his masked face as he swung from building to building. Around this time, rush hour would be beginning, and all the university students would be getting out. Speaking of…
Peeking over a billboard, Spider-Man peered down to the university campus. His own university campus.
There was no reason in particular for this, but he liked to watch the university around evening time. Most people were beginning their commute home or to the dorms, but campus crime was not rare at all. It could be small offenses like graffiti or theft, but he would prefer those types of things to just not exist at all at a place like the university. And, he just liked to check up on his friends or people he knew, to make sure they were getting home safely.
His eyes narrowed at a familiar figure that made its way across campus. Even from a tall building, he could recognize that head. His jaw clenched, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip before shooting another web and slinging away.
By the time it was fully dark out, Spider-Man had finished his night patrol. 
Sitting on the roof of his apartment complex, he didn’t quite want to go in yet. He liked freedom: the physical freedom yielded from spider-like abilities– practically flying through the air– and the social freedom of anonymity. Leaning back on his palms, Spider-Man took a deep breath.
The clouds were beginning to clear up because of the weather, so the moon and stars were extra visible tonight. Clothed fingers creeped up to his neck, carefully pulling up the red mask that covered his face.
He was lucky that no one else casually sat on top of apartment complexes, or else his identity would be revealed.
Jay Park.
The moonlight glimmered on his honey-gold tan skin. The night breeze was cool, kissing his hot cheeks. He ran a hand through his tousled coal-ebony hair, letting his sweaty forehead that had been covered for hours air out.
Truth be told, he was a tad exhausted. It’s not common for the safety of a city to lie on the shoulders of a struggling university student like himself. Throwing his head back and letting dark locks fall over his eyebrows, he let out a huff.
Shit, there’s a party tomorrow.
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Everyone liked to boast about the idea of soulmates. 
The idea that fate existed as the binding force that drew lovers of all disparate backgrounds together was prolific, pervading in all parts of history. From severed limbs that shared the same primordial origin, to congenital tattoos containing initials, to even timers that counted down every second until meeting, the concept of soulmates has been longed for, craved for, lusted for- for centuries.
Unfortunately, for you, the notion that everyone had an innate and pre-destined lover was a tad ridiculous.
There was no way that you could believe in soulmates.
“Why the fuck are you here?”
But you did believe in natural enemies.
“I can ask you the same thing, Park.”
Tonight was the soccer team mixer, an end-of-the-year party that the university’s team hosted to celebrate yet another exciting school year. Courtesy of your friends, you and your thick-ass glasses ended up attending. 
Tonight was supposed to be a nice night. It really was. Junior year of university was a stressful one, and you were more than ready to party all your worries away: you figured that you earned it. 
Much to your misfortune, though, there was someone else that decided to attend: the most insufferable, loud, and obnoxious person to ever exist, Jay Park.
There were several reasons to despise him and his funky, tousled hair. He was loud, rowdy, fiery, rambunctious, unruly, uncouth, uncivilized, hot-headed, talked way too much, had no sense of volume, and in your very personal opinion, just sucked. And, apparently, he was a total freak. He would show up to parties and socials, cause a ruckus with his presence, and then randomly disappear. He stood weirdly, and his mannerisms were just strange.
If you could go back and change history, you would have never allowed yourself to even meet such a person. Unfortunately, you two had intersecting friend groups and many mutual friends; there was no avoiding him given your social circles.
It started back in freshman year of highschool. The two of you were sat next to each other on the first day of fourth period English Honors. Your teacher must have seen something that you didn’t, because it was almost impossible for you to even talk to each other. Jay, the pubescent boy he was, would crack a few jokes. You, though, would stare at him vacantly, as if you were expecting him to add on. 
“Can you stop talking?” you asked him once. “Your jokes aren’t funny.”
You had meant it in a helpful way.
“If you want to make it funnier, maybe have a set-up and punchline? Your jokes don’t land.”
Really.
You were genuinely trying to be helpful. 
The only issue was that, like everyone else in the world, Jay didn’t take that well.
From then until the second quarter, you and Jay would only talk to each other if specifically asked to. You would turn around to the girl that sat behind you, and Jay would talk to the guy that sat diagonally in front of him. And when you guys did speak Jay would be unnecessarily dry, and in response, you would get irritated and snap at him.
When you finally moved seats next quarter, you still managed to see each other around. Too much. Your only interactions were limited to a few judgy glances, and occasionally, glares.
During the fourth quarter, Jay made an attempt to mend your relationship when you guys were placed adjacent to each other again. 
Except, now it was your turn to be offended. 
“Hey, I know I was a dick and you were a bitch, but-”
“I was a bitch?”
You’d kick his chair in class, and when the two of you were inevitably forced to talk, it’d be short and curt.
Truly, it was the summer of freshman year that really catapulted your relationship into what it was today. 
When you hung out with your friends over the summer, Jay was always (and truly, always) there. 
Initially, it was awkward.
But when you learned that Jay liked the same band as you– Muse– you thought that you could finally put your terse relationship to an end. 
“You listen to Muse?” You had tapped his shoulder one day at the beach. He was hunched over, listening to his music with earphones jammed into his ears peacefully. He looked bemused, cocking a brow at you.
It must have been the way that you said it. Poor, slightly socially-inept you, who, up until that point, couldn’t control your tone of voice. It was no surprise that Jay thought you were making fun of him.
Brusquely standing up, he snatched his earbuds up to go somewhere [Name]-free, grumbling something under his breath.
From then on, you two rarely got along.
“Something about his face pisses me off.”
“I don’t like how she says things.”
“He makes me so angry for some reason.”
“She’s a total nerdo freak.”
“I need to fight him.”
“I need to fight her.”
For the first two years of high school, there was non-stop bickering. Not necessarily malicious in intent, but it was clear that neither of you liked each other.
The closest thing to a “friendship” that the two of you formed was during the second semester of sophomore year, when your friend started liking his friend, and vice versa.
Both of you were getting tired of seeing your friends so cluelessly in love with each other, so you and Jay joined forces to push them together. Secret in-class texting, after-school discussions, shared knowing looks, and when they finally got together on the last day of school, a perfectly-timed fist-bump. As much as you’d hate to admit it, you and Jay Park made a wonderful team.
After that, you were just on your way to becoming great friends. Obviously, not as close as other friends, but it was undoubted that you had incredible potential to become very good friends.
Until one midsummer night.
“You knew that Taehyun Kang was cheating on Isa– with the girl that he swore up and down she shouldn't worry about– and said nothing?” 
It was a difficult night. Especially when you had to console a weeping friend on one call and yell at Jay Park on the other. 
“He’s my best friend, too,” was all Jay had said.
“And?” You had been incredulous. “Taehyun’s been making googly-eyes at that girl since way before he got with Isa! You knew. You’ve known this entire time and you still-”
“I didn’t know.”
You remembered the anger that began to bubble inside of you. You had spent the past few weeks trying to fix your aggression issues, because it was Jay that told you about your first interaction that got you guys off on the wrong foot. But now, you really couldn’t suppress it.
“Yes you fucking did!” you yelled over the phone. “I know you did. Don’t try to pull this shit on me, Jay.”
He didn’t respond.
“You’ve known this entire time, and you didn’t say anything.”
He had huffed over the phone, grumbling something incoherent. “I didn’t know until a few days before school ended.”
“A few days before school ended?--” You had sunken your teeth into your bottom lip, for the anger that was just beginning to heat up was now rising to a boil– “That was a few days before they got together! You had time to say something– but you didn’t.”
“What did you want me to do?” Jay was now getting angry. “You wanted me to speak up and ruin everything?”
“You could have. You should have. But you didn’t.”
“It’s not my responsibility, [Name]. It’s not your or my responsibility.”
The boiling anger was now seething. “Yes, it fucking was!”
“No, it wasn-”
If Jay could have seen your face over the phone, it would have been twisted with both disbelief and indignation.
“When you and I teamed up to get Taehyun and Isa together,” you asserted through clenched teeth, “there were some things we took responsibility for. And when they got together, we had the responsibility to be good friends. Good fucking people, Park! You–”
You had to take a few moments to breathe. “You had the power– You had the knowledge that your best friend was a cheating bastard that would– You know what? You’re just like him. You could’ve been a normal fucking person and did things the right way, but you lack responsibility and basic intelligence to do so.”
Through the course of that messy break-up, a few more screaming matches between you and Jay came about. Really, it should have been an argument for your friends to have, but you and Jay had had enough of each other. The floodgate that had held your relationship finally broke.
For the rest of your high school years, every interaction would just be blows at each other. It started as subtle, harmless jabs. But over time, those jabs became hostile. Petty actions, like light shoves or stealing pens, evolved into spiteful and calculated attacks, such as purposefully tripping the other or intentionally cutting the other out of a group photo.
Eventually, your friends made up and the break-up rift was resolved, but not you and Jay’s rocky relationship. 
The horror you and Jay must have felt when you found out you were going to the same university.
At the present, pushing up the metal-framed glasses that delicately laid on your nose, you could feel Jay’s dark eyes boring into you. Giving him a once-over, your nose scrunched. Once again, you’re reminded of why you could not stand this guy.
Tonight was a soccer mixer. A college mixer. Looking around, everyone was dressed as if they were college students at a college party. Because that’s what they were.
Girls, including yourself, wore small dresses and short skirts with plunging necklines and fat, wedged heels. They did their hair in all kinds of elaborate styles– you tied your hair into a half-down-half-up style. The guys wore ripped jeans, form-fitting button-ups, leather jackets, and if you were a soccer player, the iconic soccer team jacket- but really anything that was casual and easy to move in.
Jay Park, on the other hand, swore a deep-green hoodie with ripped jeans, like the uncultured villain he was.
Okay, maybe you were being biased.
A few of your friends did come in wearing hoodies and ripped jeans, and you did, in fact, come through the door of this frat house with an oversized hoodie draped over your shoulders. But, the difference was that this was Jay Park. Everything that he did was uncultured and barbaric.
“I don’t know why you’re so surprised,” you remarked, glaring up at him through your lashes. You were on your way to grab a few drinks for your friends in the kitchen when you bumped into none other than Jay Park. “You hang around Jake Sim, I hang around Jake Sim. Use your critical thinking.”
Jake Sim was a mutual friend between you and Jay, who just so happened to be on the university’s soccer team. Great guy, but the only thing that you would complain about was the fact that every time you hung out with him, you would inevitably meet Jay.
Jay scoffed. “Didn’t think a prude like you would actually show up to a party like this.”
“Prude?” Of all times to be calling you prude, it really shouldn’t be now, when you were wearing possibly the shortest and tightest dress with the most risque neckline that you’ve ever worn in your entire life. Those thin spaghetti straps were not doing you any justice. And especially because you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes would linger around your silhouette. “Who’s the one who hasn’t been laid in months? Who’s the one with the worst box-dyed hair on the entire campus? Who’s the one that lacks any social awareness and says the most uncomfortable shit in a voice at 260 fucking decibels? Who randomly disappears? Who moves around like a goddamn insect?”
“That’s not even fucking true!” The man waved his hands in front of himself defensively. “God, you’re so fucking annoying.”
“I’m annoying? You’re the creep that follows me around everywhere.”
“You said it yourself! We have a mutual friend so we always end up-”
“Yeah, but I get the feeling that we end up in the same places because you choose to follow me-”
“I can assure you that no one wants to follow your nerdo freak ass-”
“Oh wow! How creative. You’ve been calling me that since we were fourteen–”
“Because that’s what you are! A nerdo freak that can’t do shit–”
“Why are you even here? You always have that job that you leave to-”
“Hey, hey, hey, party people!” a new voice interjected. 
Jake Sim, your mutual friend, with sleek sunglasses resting on his nose and a beer in his hand, suddenly appeared between your arguing bodies, throwing an arm around each of you.
“Jakey!” you exclaimed.
“‘Sup.” Jake was a suave guy, not a wonder that so many people liked him. “What were the two of you talking about? Looked like you were having fun!”
Jay cringed, his lips curling. Of all words, ‘fun’ would be the furthest from a good descriptor of your interaction. You seemed to think the same.
“Nothing,” you said through clenched teeth and brief glare to the ebony-haired man. 
Jake frowned. “Awww, don’t tell me you guys were fighting again!”
You and Jay locked eyes.
‘Don’t you fucking dare,' his eyes said.
‘Wasn’t going to,’ yours replied.
Jake Sim was a sociable guy. Unfortunately, it made him a little obsessed with making everyone get along. So when he found out that you and Jay deeply disliked each other in junior year of high school, he made it his life’s mission to make you get along.
Didn’t work. It really only made you hate each other more.
“We weren’t,” Jay affirmed, swiping a tongue over his pierced bottom lip. 
When Jake cocked a brow, you added, “Yeah, we weren’t.”
When Jake left you two alone again, there was a thick silence that fell over you (as silent as a rowdy college party could get). You took your drink, and turned to leave.
“Go fuck yourself, by the way,” you spat.
There’s many issues with college parties. A few hundred bodies of sweaty late-teen-early-twenty-somethings all squished together in a single frat house with alcohol and drugs was just a recipe for disaster. Alas, that was simply the college way.
To Jay Park, other than the fact that there was, ahem, usually the presence of people that he didn’t like at college parties, there was the fact alcohol was practically everywhere. No matter how many times he could vow to not drink on one particular night, he always ended up slightly buzzed or full-out drunk.
Like right now.
It was late into the night, but the party hadn’t died down even a little bit. His friends pulled him onto the dance floor. Normally, he would scurry off, probably scared that he might lose control of his spider abilities, but with the booming techno music, blinding LED lights, and alcohol that had happily found its way into his system, Jay’s mind was completely hazy. He could barely feel his own feet below him.
The next thing he knew, there was a body up against him. Definitely smaller than him, but plush and soft, moving fluidly to the music. His mind was completely fuzzy, but Jay could smell a familiar scent. Sweet and almost citrusy, like a summer orange. His arm slithered around the person’s waist, pulling them closer to his own body. His fingers found themselves snaking toward the person’s hip. His larger hands gave it squeeze, earning him a barely-audible squeal. 
If only he knew that the person was you.
Maybe it was the alcohol getting to him, but he felt a shock of fervor and excitement rake through his body.
Bodies moving closely together, he could feel a ghost of your warmth where there was clothes; where clothing was, he could only feel a touch of warmth. 
Jay could feel everything, thanks to his heightened spidey senses and the alcohol. Every motion of your body against his, every breath you took. Which is why even when intoxicated, he could clearly hear the song change from techno to punk rock– Muscle Museum by that one band he’s liked since freshman year of highschool. Muse, was it?
“Fuck, I love this song,” he heard you mutter in your own tipsy state.
Jay was sure you couldn’t hear him, but he slurred back, “Me too.”
His hands explored.
A bare thigh, soft and creamy. An exposed neck, an unclad arm, an ample uncovered chest. Something metal on your face– a piercing? glasses? You must have been wearing jewelry, because he could feel cold metal hanging from your neck and splaying across your chest.
(The amount of practice it took for him to be able to ensure no sticky webs came out of his palms was out of this world. Sober Jay would have been a little more careful, but it was a good thing that he practiced so much.)
When his hand gave your waist another squeeze, something must have clicked in your mind, because you slid your arms around his neck, turning your body to press your chests together. Pedicured fingers ran across his chest through the fabric of his hoodie, ending up at his shoulders. Another jolt of warmth and electricity coursed through his veins.
Jay’s head was way too blurred to really take a look at you in front of him, but again, that familiar scent filled his senses. 
When the lights dimmed and music slowed, you rested your head on his shoulder. He could feel your breath fanning against his neck, lip brushing against his skin. Your lips were half-moist; it must have been gloss that made it sticky, but there was a hint of dryness that he could tell was from being swollen– you were biting your lip so much it was becoming swollen. A warm chill rushed down his spine. 
How drunk was he at this point? He didn’t care, because the next thing he knew, he was pushed up against a wall in a dark hallway.
“Fuck, you’re so hot,” he muttered under his breath, as you shoved your pedicured hands up his hoodie and played with the belt loops of his ripped jeans.  Throwing his head back against the wall, he heard you giggle, before you ghosted your hand over his lower abdomen, effectively sending waves of warmth down his body. He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, flinching. He cursed his spidey senses for making him so sensitive to touch. “Don’t fucking do that- don’t tease me.”
He heard another giggle, before he felt a few nimble fingers grasping his chin gently, pulling his face down for a better reach.
It was a soft, but crazily attractive, voice that whined in his ear, “But you’re so cute like this.”
And then you continued, slipping your hand up and down his bare abdomen, occasionally stopping near his collarbone to tug on the metal necklace that laid so delicately. Meanwhile, you pressed open-mouth kisses on his neck, eliciting the softest sighs of satisfaction.
Truth be told, Jay had no idea that it was you who was all pressed up against him, but for some reason, the fact that he didn’t know turned him on even more. 
The wet kisses, which he was sure left sparkly pink traces of lip gloss, littered all over his skin, trailing from the part where his jaw and ear met, to his collarbones, to his Adam’s apple, and finally, to his chin.
With a squeeze to his bicep, you gently cupped his cheek, pulling him closer. With an experimental hand, you swiped your thumb over his bottom lip, pressing onto the cold metal piercing that adorned his lip.
It was a dark hallway, but it was now that Jay noticed the light that reflected off of your glasses’ lens. When he tried to look for your eyes, he was only met with the sleek shine that reflected off your glasses.
“Let me kiss you,” you purred into his ear as you ran your thumb over his lips. It was now that he could smell the tequila from your breath. “Please?”
Jay, all in his equally-drunken glory, threw his head back again against the wall, making a thud sound. “Fuuuuck,” he cursed under his breath. “Yeah. You’re hot.”
You giggled. You gave his lip piercing one more tap of the finger before entangling your hands in his dark hair, giving it a soft tug. It was a good thing that he was pushed so close against a wall, because Jay swore his knees were going to give out. 
“Thank you, baby.”
You gave his hair another tug, staring straight into his eyes. The half-panicked expression that spread across his face made you crack a small grin of satisfaction, and Jay felt embarrassed under your gaze. Gently holding his face, you pressed soft butterfly kisses along his jawline before you ended up at his chin. You pulled him closer so that your chests were pushed all the way against each other, the majority of your weight on him against the wall.
Jay swiped a tongue over his lip, sucking in a sharp and shallow breath. His chest rose and fell, swallowing so hard in anticipation that his Adam’s apple bobbed. You brushed your nails along his bicep before clasping hands with him; in a swift movement, you pinned his hands flat on the wall next to his head. 
The gap between your faces was closing. You were only a few inches apart at this point. Hot breaths and glassy eyes.
Hands still pinned against the wall, Jay could not tear his eyes away from that glossy sheen on your glasses. He wanted so badly to see your eyes, lock onto them. Usually, the inability to see someone’s eyes would make a kiss less appealing, but for some reason, it only made things more intimate for him. Combined with the darkness and intoxicated state, the anonymity was a turn-on.
Almost as if to tease him, you peppered soft kisses along his chin and around his lips. Freeing his hand from your grip, Jay snuck it around your waist, pressing you all the way up against him. He could feel every curve and divot of your body now; with the softness and plush skin, he wanted to explore it once again with his touch. His big hand traveled down your waist to your hips, caressed your ass, and ended up on the backside of your thigh. He freed his other hand to do the same, resulting in two hands on your thighs.
Jay parted his lips, peering down at you through lidded eyes. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest.
The music had faded in the background, but his heart pounded to the beat of the slow R&B. 
Ba-dum, ba-dum. 
So close. You were so close.
Ba-dum, ba-dum. 
Sliding his hands up your back to your shoulders, Jay gave it a squeeze. In a swift movement, he flipped your positions around, pushing you gently against the wall and placing a flat palm above you head.
Ba-dum, ba-dum. 
You giggled, grappling for his hair once again. 
Again, he could smell that sweet, citrusy scent.
Ba-dum, ba-dum. 
Jay leaned in. 
There was a sort of tenderness—intimacy— that he suddenly craved for. Closing that gap, having skin on skin, lip to lip, he needed it.
Ba-dum, ba-dum. 
If he just got a little closer… a few more centimeters, and your lips would-
Beep beep!
What-
Beep beep!
Bewildered, Jay flinched back.
It was his watch, which lit up the dark hallway.
You held his bicep, trying to pull him back in. He resisted.
Beep beep! Time to go! his watch went on.
“Baby,” you breathed. “Is everything okay?”
Jay bit his tongue. As sensible as an intoxicated person can be, his eyes narrowed at his glowing wristwatch. 
Fuck.
“I-I have to go.” Jay pushed off the wall, turning toward the hallway entrance. He was feeling dizzy.
“What? But-”
He eyed his watch, which was now glowing a red color.
“Shit, shit-” He turned over his shoulder, slurring out, “I’m so sorry.”
He couldn’t see your face but he could feel disappointed and confused eyes boring into his back.
On his way out of the frat house, Jay took a bottle of water and chugged it, sobering up (though still feeling shitfaced and nasty). He rushed out of the house, and the moment he stepped out onto the pavement, his phone rang.
“What happened this time, Jungwon?” he grumbled into his phone, still catching his breath. His hand came up to touch his neck. Even out here and sobered up, he could still feel the sticky kisses pressed against his skin, setting his cheeks aflame against the cold night air.
On the other side of the phone, a childish voice spoke. “Doctor Discotheque!”
“What?”
He heard a huff. “Doctor Discotheque! Remember? That villain guy! He’s here!”
Jay scoffed. “Where’s ‘here’?”
“At home, you dummy!”
Sometimes, Jay wondered why he employed his eight-year-old kid brother, Jungwon, or Wonnie, to help him with his Spider-Man endeavors. Given the fact that the kid was literally eight years old, it might have been a little pathetic to enlist the help of someone who couldn’t even do basic math. But honestly, Wonnie was the best he had– the kid was terribly excited to find out that his big brother was a superhero and he promised not to tell anyone only if Jay 1) told him everything that happened (correction: everything cool that happened, the kid didn’t want to hear about helping old people use the subway) and 2) let him be intel. There wasn’t much a grade-schooler could do to be a valuable informant (what was Jay going to let him do, run around the street at night?), but he sure did have a lot of time on his hands.
“Okay, okay,” Jay rubbed the scar on his nose. “Where at home? Like, in the complex? Outside?”
“Two floors below us.”
“What.”
Just as Jay was outside the general vicinity of mixer-goers, he heard a slew of heavy footsteps and then suddenly felt two arms wrap around his torso.
“What the-”
A very, very, very familiar voice began sobbing into his back. “Why’d you leeeavvvvveee?”
You.
You tightened your hold on him, burying your face in his hoodie-clad back. “Whyyyyyyyyyy?” you drawled.
“The fuck-?” Jay, cringing into his skin, tried to pull away. However, his nose picked up a scent that he was more than mortified to recognize. It was sweet and citrusy. And when his eyes caught the outline of your metal-framed glasses and the illumination that was strewn across the lens, all hell broke loose.
“Jay?” Wonnie’s voice called over the line. “Jay! Spider-Man! Is everything okay?”
“Hold on-” Jay replied. “Fuck, just give me a second.”
You, [Name] [Last Name], possibly one of the most insufferable people ever, was the one that he was all over just five minutes ago. You were the one that had him pressed up against the wall. You were the one that was touching and kissing him all over. You were the one that sent chills down his spine. You were the one that he was minutes away from taking into a spare bedroom and-
He sucked in a sharp breath. Not the time to think about that.
Now that he had soaked in the fresh air outside the frat house, the smell of alcohol was strong on your person. It consoled him that everything happened because both of you were drunk, at least.
“[N-Name],” he muttered. “[Name], let go.”
You were fuckfaced drunk, holding and clinging onto him like your life depended on it and wailing. Jay never thought that he’d find a day where you would be like this to him.
“I want youuuuu,” you slurred. “Come baaaaack insiiiideeee.”
“Jesus Christ, you college kids,” Wonnie clicked his tongue on the other side of the line. “Get a room.”
“Shut it,” Jay spat. Turning his attention to you sobbing in his arms, he figured that you had no idea that the person you were all over was him. If you did, you would be kicking and screaming at him. 
As much as he needed to go, he didn’t feel great about leaving a drunk woman (no matter how much he disliked you) alone at night at the side of a road.
“[Name], where are your friends?”
You sniffled. “I don’t knowww.”
Jay huffed. He couldn’t find your phone, and he wasn’t going to hang up on his brother– who he honestly really needed to get to, like, right now.
He had a few options: fail at his job as Spider-Man by leaving a drunk woman unattended, go inside and physically look for your friends which will delay him going to Wonnie, or take you home himself. He did not have a lot of time.
Which is why he was currently carrying you, his worst enemy, bridal style as he shoots webs across the sky, all the while being on call with his kid brother.
“When are you getting home again?” Wonnie asked.
“Give me, like-” Jay looked around the city- “Five minutes.”
A lucky feat of being Spider-Man was that he had incredible speed and agility. 
It wasn’t going to take much longer to get to your apartment, which he now realized was very close to his own apartment complex.
Actually, he was heading straight towards his apartment complex. 
Weird. 
Maybe yours is the one behind it? 
Nope, there’s just an old construction site behind it.
Wait, so then where’s your apartment…?
Oh my god, you lived in the same apartment complex as him.
Speaking of, you were asleep in his arms. 
“Won, what is Doctor Discotheque doing?”
“Having tea with our downstairs neighbors.”
“What?”
“What kind of question is that?!” Wonnie yelled over the phone. “He’s a supervillain! What do you think he’s doing? Wreaking havoc, duh!”
Jay took a deep breath so as to not yell back at this kid. “Yeah, I know. What in particular is he doing?”
“He’s being rude to the apartment staff.” When he was met with a judgmental silence, Wonnie groaned. “I’m serious. I think he’s waiting for you. He’s just being super mean to people right now.”
Damnit.
Jay took a look at the unconscious you in his arms. “Wonnie, I’m going to drop someone by the balcony. Take her in, will ya?”
Before Wonnie could blow up on him for bringing a ‘her’ home, Jay brusquely said, “I’m going down to kick Doctor Discotheque’s ass.”
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Of all things in the world, you did not expect to wake up in Jay Park’s bed. 
The next morning, you woke up with probably the worst headache you’ve ever had. You were never one to drink, but maybe the university stress was really getting to you. Groaning, you sunk your face into the freshly-washed white sheets. All seemed normal, until you realized a few things:
First, who took you home last night? You had no memory of anything that happened at the mixer that night. If you thought about it hard, you could probably remember getting ready for it, meeting some, ahem, unpleasant people, talking to a few friends… and really nothing more. In fact, the bedroom you were in right now didn’t look like it belonged to any of your friends. 
Second, you were still in your clothes from last night. And makeup. And hair.
How did you get home last night? 
This was probably the worst hangover you’ve had in a while. Nevertheless, when you realized that there was talking outside the room, you got out of bed to investigate. 
Which led you to possibly the worst thing to ever witness.
Jay Park, with wet hair, shirtless on the couch.
The shrill scream you let out was enough to get a complaint from the neighbors.
“Oh my fuck, calm down,” Jay, in all his bitch-faced glory, rolled his eyes.
“You- You want me to calm down?” You were scandalized. Horrified. “You’re literally- You’re-”
“This is my house,” his eyes bored into you. “I can do whatever I want.”
“This- This is your house?”
He blinked. “Yeah.”
There was another ear-splitting scream before Jay convinced you to sit down so he could explain.
“You don’t need to sit so far away from me,” Jay dead-panned when you sat at the very edge of the couch.
“I don’t want to be near you,” you murmured.
“That's rich coming from someone that was all over me yesterday.”
The utmost and utter horror painted across your face was nearly laughable. 
You?
All over Jay?
Was that why you woke up in his home…? In his bed?
“Oh my god,” you clasped a hand over your mouth. “Did we…”
“No.”
You breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
“Then how am I here then?”
Jay sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth.
If you weren't completely stunned into silence from the fact that you woke up in Jay Park’s bed, then you were now. Jay recounted a rather detailed account of what happened the night before– the two of you got drunk, and ended up more than touchy with each other. Your face heated up, with both embarrassment and… anger? 
Frowning, you asked, “Then why’d you bring me home?”
“You were crying and begging me to come back inside with you, but I had to go.” 
You glared at him, crossing your arms.
“Go on.”
“I wasn’t going to leave you out there drunk, you know,” Jay shrugged. “I was going to bring you to your apartment, but I had to fight– I mean– Spider-Man had to fight some.. Um, villain downstairs.”
You nodded slowly, but skeptically. Sensing your cynicism, Jay added quickly, “You can check the news. The fight was on the seventh floor.”
Your ears perked up. “Seventh floor?”
“Yeah-”
“That’s where I live.”
Jay’s eyes widened a fraction. “Shit.”
A great thing about being Spider-Man was that he was technically a government worker, a public service provider. The government paid for all the casualties caused by his work, luckily. Gone were the days that he’d be considered a masked menace.
As great as this was, it led to Jay being more or less reckless. Not that he was throwing shit around and purposefully breaking property when protecting citizens, but he had the freedom to do whatever was necessary. If he had to break down walls to save people, then so be it.
Speaking up, Spider-Man went a little.. Err… crazy last night. Maybe it was the alcohol still lingering in his system, or the fact that Doctor Discotheque the supervillain was literally insane. Safe to say, when fighting in the hallway of the seventh floor, Jay got a little aggressive and broke a few more things than usual.
If you found out that he-- Jay-- was Spiderman, a.k.a. the one that probably damaged your home, he’d be dead. Luckily, you wouldn't find out. Unluckily, your apartment was among those that were damaged last night.
“Can you stop that?” Jay said.
There were many reasons that Jay Park deeply disdained you. You were nit-picky, snobby, arrogant, pretentious, overly-critical, fussy, and extremely judgmental. Everyone thought you were some sort of genius, and he could tell that you liked the fact that they did. 
“I’m fuckin’ stressed,” you spat as you paced around the floor. “I don’t think I can really ‘stop.’”
Not that he was a sick person, but the expression of genuine distress spread all over your face was almost satisfying. But then Jay realized the situation you were in and he knew it was his fault, so he felt just a little bad. 
You lost your phone last night, and your apartment was more than a little damaged, the entire seventh floor being tarped and taped off. Sitting on the couch, you chewed on your bottom lip. It wasn’t even noon yet. Given your group of friends and the events last night, it wasn’t likely that any of them were awake at this time. And you didn’t have your phone- it wasn’t like you could just easily phone someone that wasn’t there last night.
You had a massive headache, feeling lightheaded with a throbbing sensation up there. You felt gross, with smudged makeup and the same tiny dress from last night. You could definitely walk to a friend’s place and wait there, but the heels you wore last night were the tallest, most painful, party-purposed stilettos. You were absolutely not walking around the city in those shoes.
The worst part about it all was that you were stuck in the apartment of none other than Jay Park. 
Could you appreciate the fact that he looked out for you by taking you home? Yeah, sure.
But could you stand him? Absolutely not.
“Why are you walking around like that?” He was getting persnickety, as payback for all the times that you’d been nit-picky towards him. “You’re going to ruin my floorboards.”
You sent him a glare. Some empathy would be nice, you thought, rolling your eyes.
There really was only one person that was accessible to you if you wanted to get out of here, and it was Jay himself. You never really thought that there would be a day where you would need to ask for his help, but here you were, practically stranded. Speaking of, he was ignoring you, occasionally looking up from his phone to give you a weird look.
If you wanted to go home, you would need to swallow your pride and just ask for help.
You prided yourself in your ability to be blunt. You were a natural leader, ambitious and aggressive. You never had an issue with announcing your wants or needs. But now faced with the piercing silence of Jay Park, you simply could not open your mouth to speak. It wasn’t like you couldn't ask him, but that you wouldn't. Curling your lips, you let the glum, nearly shameful, feeling fall over yourself.
Eyes tracing the man’s outline carefully, you swallowed the lump in your throat. 
‘[Name], you can do this,’ you recited to yourself. ‘You can do this. Just talk to him, just talk to-’
You pressed your lips together, before taking a deep breath and opening your mouth to speak. As you attempted to say his name, no sound came out. When he glanced up at you suspiciously,you quickly averted your gaze and closed your mouth.
When he looked away, your eyes flickered back to him, simply drilling into him. You licked your lips. For the second time, you opened your mouth to say his name, bracing yourself for the sound of your voice, but Jay spoke before you did.
“What are you looking at?” 
You stood up straight like a board, pushing up your glasses clumsily.
“I- Well-”you cursed yourself for stammering. You never stammered like this. “I…”
He looked at you expectantly.
Your ego, that fat chunk of an ego, was crumbling.
“Park,” you brusquely said. 
He leered at you. “What?”
You stared at him awkwardly, lips pressed into a line as thin as paper. “I… I.. um.”
He clicked his tongue impatiently. “On with it.”
You huffed loudly. 
“Can I please use your phone?”
The second last thing that you expected to happen ever was to be sitting on Jay Park’s bed with wet hair wearing his hoodie and sweatpants. And that other than asking him for help.
Never have you felt so ashamed of yourself, sitting on the soft bed with your knees up to your chest. 
The judgy glance that Jay gave you was absolutely soul-crushing, and after a humiliating stutter-filled explanation, he simply said, “Go take a shower.”
Were you initially mortified? Absolutely. But after soaking in the warm water for a few minutes, you begrudgingly thanked him. But only in your head.
Staring at a spot on the floor, you pressed your face into your knee, reflecting upon everything that had happened. As you were lost in thought, what startled you was a loud beeping sound, the slamming of a window, and yelling. You jumped to your feet in reaction, but before you could creep out of the bedroom, someone else came in.
Instead of a tall, well-built man with black hair, it was a young boy no older than ten holding a massive walkie talkie.
“Who- Who are you?”
The boy blinked owlishly, before cracking a grin. “Oh, it’s you!”
You recoiled. “Wh-What?”
“You’re the lady from last night!” he laughed, revealing sharp canine teeth. When you only looked more bewildered, he continued, “The lady that Jjongsaeng brought home last night!”
Jjongsaeng? “You mean Park— er, Jay?”
The boy frowned. “He didn’t tell me he had a girlfriend,” he murmured to himself quietly, before turning over to you. “Mhm!”
“I’m sorry, who are you?” You were a little concerned. Who was this child and why was he in Jay Park’s apartment?
“Oh!” The boy laughed again, throwing his head back. He came closer to you, extending a small hand towards you. “Jungwon! But just call me Wonnie!”
Okay, but your question wasn’t answered exactly. “Are you…” you took a better look at Wonnie. He was just so small! Though, he looked an awful lot like Jay Park… – “Are you his son… or…?”
The boy put an offended hand over his chest, scowling deeply. 
“Son?” he gawked. “I’m his brother!!”
Your lips formed an ‘o.’
“And what’s your name?” Wonnie looked at you curiously.
“[Name] [Last Name]– Just– Just call me [Name].”
A silence fell over you two.
“Do you- Do you know where your brother is?” When Wonnie gave you a suspicious look, you quickly added, “I need to use his phone.”
He gave you another long stare, before saying simply, “He’s not here.”
How could he not be here? Jay was just here, like, twenty minutes ago? “What do you mean?” you narrowed your eyes.
“He-” Wonnie’s large eyes hovered over to the window quickly, before fluttering back to you. “He went to work.”
“Doesn’t he have a night internship?”
Wonnie grumbled something under his breath, almost looking stressed, gripping the walkie talkie. “Yyyyyessss,” he nodded slowly. “But he has a day job too…. As an.. Um, photographer?”
You nodded slowly. “Right. When do you expect he’ll be back?”
Wonnie glanced at the window again. “In, like, fifteen minutes-”
Crash!
You two rushed over to the living room window, peering across to the construction site behind the apartment complex. There, there were news reporters, blaring ambulances and police cars, and rubble and dust everywhere. Not to mention the elephant in the room: Spider-Man and two criminals.
“Oh my god, is that Spider-Man?”
Wonnie didn’t seem as impressed as you, opting to toy with his walkie talkie. “Yeah, he’s here all the time. Cool guy.”
You frowned. You lived only a few floors down and you wouldn’t say that Spider-Man was ‘here all the time.’ 
“Really? This is my first time seeing him.”
Fingering the window handle, you pushed it open.
You’d heard all the stories. Your friends talk about seeing the red-and-blue-clad hero with his iconic spider logo. He was some neighborhood hero. According to a few of your friends, he’d help them fight off muggers and creeps, swinging in with his sticky white webs just moments before all hell broke loose. Apparently, he was a super suave guy, and according to a few, really hot. 
“As hot as a masked hero can be,” you would laugh with your friends. Now watching from a few stories up, you could definitely see the appeal. The sun was out, casting a harsh shadow on Spider-Man’s defined back muscles. The skin-tight suit hugged his strong arms and sturdy build. 
There was something so fascinating about Spider-Man. He was strong, friendly, dutiful, sure. But what made him so alluring was that you wanted to study him– dissect him. It was only in your nature to want to know every single inner-workings of a figure like him.
You then felt a poke at your side. It was Wonnie.
“What, are you in love with him or something?”
You tore your eyes from Spider-Man’s figure. “What? No!”
Wonnie raised his brows. “Hmmm… Okay.”
You turned back over to the window, except when you scanned for Spider-Man, he had disappeared completely.
“Hey, where did he-”
The front door of the Park apartment flew right open, revealing a disheveled Jay Park. 
“Y-You’re back already?” Wasn’t he just at a job….?
Jay waved his hand in front of him, taking off his shoes. “Yeah. Why? Were you gonna do something?”
Your nose scrunched. “No! I just thought you were at a job.”
Jay scoffed. “Who told you that-” He cut himself off when he noticed the awkward expression painted across Wonnie’s face. 
“Fuckin’ dumbass,” he muttered.
Jay Park would have never guessed that you would be sleeping in his bed. For the second night. In a row. None of your friends had enough space for you to crash, and if not, they just didn’t pick up the phone. 
“You need better friends,” Jay had told you in a matter-of-fact way, earning a sharp glare. 
And it wasn’t an easy decision to let you stay with him either.
The apartment was a 2-bedroom one. One for himself, one for his kid brother. He sure as hell wasn’t going to make Wonnie leave his room or you and Wonnie share a room, and he most definitely was not sharing a bed with you. He’d make you sleep on the couch, but the Spider-Man in him told him not to. So very grudgingly, Jay let you take his room.
He was only allowing this because it was him that practically destroyed your apartment. Even if he didn’t like you, he did take responsibility for what happened.
Maybe that one argument you had the summer of sophomore year got to him. 
And plus, he could not stand you. All the little jabs you made at him, even down to your facial expressions, had him riled up. But, for the sake of the child in the room, Jay made no big attempt to fight back.
Curled up on the couch, Jay couldn’t shake off the glum feeling that settled on his chest.
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Jay Park never realized how many qualms he would have with another person living in his house. 
He was okay with Wonnie, because Wonnie knew his identity as Spider-Man. And plus, Wonnie was his brother– that little squirt was tolerable. When it’s just the two of them, Jay could do basically anything he wanted. Wonnie was more than enthusiastic when he would use his webs to pull objects toward him or hang on the ceiling just because he could, and it was a rather common occurrence for you two to make a ruckus whenever there was crime in town. Jay could go do Spider-Man things whenever he needed to, and Wonnie would be okay with it.
But now with you living with him temporarily, he had to be a lot more careful.
Especially with your nitpicking everything he does.
“Why do you cut your bread like that?”
“Ew, your butter is so hard.”
“Can you stop chewing so loud?’
“Why does your face look like that?-- Oh, hi Wonnie!”
“Hi, [Name]!”
It seemed like Wonnie and you got along better. 
“Hey, where are you going?” you asked from the kitchen table.
Jay, who was putting on his coat and shoes at the door, made a face. Swinging his backpack over his shoulders, he took Wonnie’s hand. “What do you think we’re doing?”
It was a rhetorical question, but you answered matter-of-factly. “Class doesn’t start until nine though!”
Jay pointed to Wonnie. “Gotta take him to school.”
That was only partially the truth. He did indeed take Wonnie to elementary school, but like every morning, he went on a morning patrol. The amount of small robberies and little school children walking into traffic was a bit staggering, but not to worry, Spider-Man was on his way.
Like right now.
As Jay swung from building to building, he carefully scanned the alleyways and streets to possibly catch any crime. When he stopped to rest atop a mix-use flower shop, crouching in his iconic pose, he spotted two children and a man.
Jay’s enhanced senses allowed him to hear the conversation-
“Let go!” one of the children pleaded, pulling away from the man. The other child, clearly the younger one, confusedly held onto the other.
“Kids, kids!” the man chuckled, continuing his tightened grip. “Just come with me. I’m your parents’ friend!”
The older of the two scrunched her nose, continuing to resist the man.
Jay observed from above. Clearly, these children had no idea who this man was. By the looks of it, there wasn’t anyone else around. Even if the kids screamed, no one would come to the rescue quick enough. This weird kidnapper guy could definitely take these kids without a doubt.
Cue the screaming and crying.
Panicked, the man tightened his grip on the kids, jerking them along as he began to walk towards the alleyway.
Fuckin’ creep, Jay thought before shooting a white web at the lampost a few meters down the pavement, swinging down. Extending a leg, he held onto the web as he suspended across the air. As he closed in on the man, he heard the two children let out shrill gasps just as Jay's foot made impact with the man’s cheek.
The brief moment of surprise made the man loosen his grip on the two children, allowing for them to scurry back. Now on the ground, Jay stood over his fallen figure.
Disgusting, he thought as he peered down at the man. Just thinking about what he would have done to the children made him angry. The man groaned in pain. Jay leaned down to the man, bringing a masked, yet somehow patronizing, face to him.
“Hey, buddy!” His words were ordinary, but very clearly filled with contempt. “Whatcha doin’ over there with those kids?”
When the man didn’t answer, Jay stamped a foot right between the man’s legs, impossibly close to his crotch. “C’mon, man. Wontcha explain?”
The panic in the man’s eyes was satisfying, as he began to draw out a pocket knife. 
“S-Spider-Man?!”
Under his mask, Jay cracked a smirk. “Honored to be at your service.”
The man ogled at Spider-Man’s built figure– he stood no chance against the hero. Regardless, he stumbled to his feet, pointing the blade at Jay. “Stay back!”
Jay laughed.
“Oh no! A knife! Anything but the knife!” Jay feigned fear, cowering into himself. “I’m so scared! Please! My biggest weakness is a tiny little knife!”
The man faltered, staring hesitantly at the hero. Jay took this moment to shoot one more web at the street light, giving him momentum to jump in and kick this guy in the face again.
“Oh, man,” Jay chuckled. “That knife really got me.”
“I-I’m sorry!” The man gawked at the hero’s figure standing over him, spluttering as he struggled to his feet and finally scuttling away.
Jay watched his running back carefully.
“Thank you so much, Spider-Man!” he heard the children cheering behind him. Turning over his shoulder, Jay gave them a salute, before shooting a web and swinging away.
When classes for the day ended, Jay Park wanted a head-start on patrolling. The sun was only beginning to set, casting a golden hue over the city. He liked this time of day the most. There was always a faint citrusy smell in the air, and he wished he could take off his mask to feel the wind rake through his hair. 
He checked all the important places– the bank, the university, the bus station, and especially the central business district. The alleyways were crazy notorious for being crime-ridden, so he was extra attentive with the patrol. 
Speaking of, there seemed to be a bit of a conundrum right now. From the top of a high-rise building, Jay’s eyes zeroed in on the figures a few hundred feet below him. It was no uncommon occurrence for there to be some sort of assault (with Spider-Man here, attempted assault) in a dark alleyway. Jay always followed a basic procedure:
Step one: identify what’s happening.
From above, he could see that– oh shit– a woman was going to be mugged. 
Little did he know, much to both of your luck, that woman was you.
Step two: identify the threat.
Two guys, both disheveled, one with a pocket-knife. Even though he couldn’t see your face, just by the looks of it, you were clearly disadvantaged– these two guys were massive compared to you.
“We see ya wallet, girl,” one of the men said. For two people who were very much advantaged, they were rather shy with the knife, holding it low and with little confidence. “Hand ovah the money.”
When you didn’t respond, they got a little more vindictive, slamming the rusted brick wall, demanding for money.
Step three: swoop in and-
Jay was bewildered by the raucous clanking of metal trash can tops against the dirty pavement. Gaping down, he could see one of the men crashed up against the trash cans, and the other one taken aback. 
Did you just…?
Jay was taken by surprise once again when he heard grunting and groaning in pain. You were kicking these men when they were down. With heeled shoes. And it was now that he finally noticed your physicality: [H/C] hair. Glasses. Big attitude. Oh my god, how did he not realize that it was you?
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” you landed a kick at the crotch. Jay hissed in pain just at the sight of that. “Huh? You think you own this fuckin’ place?” Another kick. “Fuckin’ scum.”
Jay was contemplating whether or not he should go down there and give you– [Name]-fucking-[Last Name]– a hand. He was going to decide against it, when his spidey senses picked up the very crisp sound of a blade scraping across the pavement. While you were busy cussing out one of the assailants, you didn’t notice the way one of the men unsheathed the pocket-knife. 
Jay could see it— In a matter of seconds, the guy’d bare the blade and shank your right in the abdomen. He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, tongue swiping right over his metal lip piercing.
“Hey, fuckface!” In one fell swoop, Jay landed a powerful punch to the blade-bearing assailant’s cheek, sending him flying down the alleyway. you let out a shriek. “Spider-Man?!”
It was weird to see you startled like this. “Hey, Gorgeous.”
In his defense, there was not a bone in his body that thought that you were gorgeous. It was simply a habit he took on when he assumed the role of Spider-Man. He said that to everyone.
The second assailant, the one that you had basically beat up with words, was still keeled against the trash cans, eyes widened and fearful of what the friendly neighborhood hero could do.
Jay leaned down to be at eye-level with the man. “Nice day, isn’t it?”
The man spluttered, and Jay sneered. The kick that the hero gave to the man square in the chest subsequently propelled him down the alleyway, joining his friend at the back. 
“Maybe don’t try to mug someone in broad daylight, bud.”
When Jay heard a few clanking sounds and groans of pain, he turned to you.
You were looking at him with large, shiny eyes, utterly consumed in admiration. Jay cringed at the silence that fell over the two of you. It wasn’t normal for there to be such a calm silence between him and you. If there wasn’t arguing, then there’d be an uncomfortable and tense atmosphere.
“I- Spider-Man…” you said, looking up at him through your glasses. The way that your eyes were practically glued to his masked face had Jay scrunching his nose. After a long silence of you just staring at him, you quickly avert your gaze, finding interest in your shoes instead. God, why were you getting so shy? Seeing the abashed expression on your face was like seeing a police officer get a parking ticket– so fucking out-of-character and just pure unnatural.
Jay wanted badly to make a jab at you, to say, “Hey, Jay Park just saved your sorry ass.” 
But he didn’t. 
Because that’s not what friendly neighborhood Spider-Mans do.
You bit your lip before glancing up at him. It was almost like you could feel his eyes questioning you from behind his mask, and once again, avert your gaze, pushing up your metal frames. 
It was now that Jay truly realized what was going on– Did you have a crush on Spider-Man?
You were acting really shy, and you were looking at him like he was some kind of god. 
The thought made him want to shrink into his own skin, but for some reason, it also made him grin. Grin a smug grin. Because now he had something to dangle over your head.
He didn’t have any sinister intentions other than the fact that he wanted an opportunity to be petty with you.
“Thank you, Spider-Man,” you finally blurted, that bashful look still casted on your face. 
Jesus Christ, the way you were acting soft-spoken and coy was so weird. 
He could do one of two things to fuck with you.
He could be extremely cold and distant, making you feel embarrassed. It would definitely be satisfying to see you panicked and flustered. But then again, Spider-Man’s job was to keep the city safe, not be mean to civilians. Even if said civilian was someone he couldn’t stand.
The second he could do was fluster you in a different kind of way: enthrall you with charm to mess with you. It was certainly a more ethical way to fuck with you, but Jay wasn’t sure if he’d be up for practically flirting with the person he hated more than anything else.
You shyly looked at him, expecting a response.
On second thought, he might be up for it.
He didn’t want to break you. Just fuck with that strong head of yours a little bit.
“Anything for you,” Jay took a step closer to you, just close enough that you would be taken aback, “Beautiful.”
Okay, maybe he should never do that again. Jay was not a lady-charmer. He had no game. There was a reason that he didn’t have a girlfriend, and it was because he could not flirt for shit. His skin was crawling with cringe– what he would do to have the ground open up and eat him whole because that shit was the worst thing he’s probably ever done.
His internal squirming was cut short when he saw the way your eyes widened a fraction, before letting a slight abashed curve settle on your lips. 
“Oh- I-” you lowered your head, your glasses laying on the very tip of your nose. 
“Thanks,” you stammered.
.
.
.
Now it was awkward.
What was he supposed to do now? Kiss you? No! What the fuck?
“I’m gonna go now,” Jay muttered. Extending his arm and aiming it at the top of the adjacent building, he prepared to shoot a web. However, he was stopped when you gently grabbed onto his bicep.
“Wait.” Your voice was uncharacteristically quiet, meek almost. “I-I don’t feel safe going home now.”
Jay blinked.
Jay Park never seemed to expect anything. 
For the second time ever, in the same week, he was carrying you across the sky to his own home.
This time, though, you were wide awake instead of black-out drunk.
With your arms wrapped around his neck, you clung to him as he held onto your body tightly in the bridal-style. It wasn’t abnormal for him to be carrying a damsel in distress like this, but Jay never thought that he would be carrying you of all people. 
With you clinging so close to him, Jay could smell that sweet, citrusy scent again. He grimaced when he was once again reminded of the events that had transpired a few nights ago. Whenever he thought about it, Jay could almost feel his skin crawl, remembering the wet and sticky kisses placed on his skin.
Jay tried to ignore the way you stared at him so incredulously, wide and glinted as if he was some sort of idol.
As Jay approached the edge of the high-rise office building, he noticed you bracing yourself for the jump You’d been shutting your eyes tightly and letting out a little peep every time he’d jump across buildings.
Maybe he should try fucking with you right now.
Launching off his feet, Jay had propelled the two of you into the wide valley between office buildings. Usually, he’d shoot a web within a few milliseconds of just being the air. However, with you in his arms…
“S-Spider-Man…!” you squeezed his bicep. You were falling…! 
Jay was taking his sweet time with shooting another web, waiting for them to be just a few hundred meters from the bustling and traffic-filled road, giving you the illusion that you were about to topple to your death. 
“Spider-Man, we’re gonna–!”
When you were practically dangling over the cars, Jay shot a web up to the next building, hoisting you two up and away.
“What, you don’t trust me, Beautiful?” Jay got some sick satisfaction from shaking up the usually-controlled you. If he was Jay, he probably would have made a jab, say something like “I told you so,” but since he was Spider-Man he stuck to the flashy and charming persona that the hero built himself.
“I… I trust you, Spider-Man, just– Eep!” 
Jay threw his head back, laughing. It was funny when you got scared.
“Stop making fun of me, Spider-Man!” you lightly slapped his chest. “I’m just…– Eep!--”you squeezed his bicep again– “Scared of heights.”
Jay gave your waist a squeeze. “I got you, Angel.”
It was weird to pull up to his own apartment and pretend that it wasn’t his.
“This your place?”
Jay was curious as to what you would say. He dropped you off on the balcony, before going into his iconic crouching pose on the thin metal railing.
You shook your head. “It’s my… friend’s. I’m staying with him because….”
You trailed off, before your eyes fluttered over to Jay’s masked face. “Hey, didn’t you fight some villain the other day?”
Oh.
Right.
The reason that you were even staying with him was because… Well, him.
Jay nodded slowly.
“Oh- Well, um,” you wrung your fingers. “My apartment, it got… Yeah.”
It was like you could sense the uneasiness behind the mask. 
For the heinous amount of crime-fighting that Jay did, he did feel a little bad for the amount of infrastructure that got ruined. It seemed like every other week there were glass shards strewn all across the streets. He couldn’t imagine the type of work that would go into rebuilding homes and infrastructure after so much damage.
That, he will take responsibility for.
He lowered his head. “Yeah, fuck, I’m sorry about that.”
A civilian is a civilian.
“No, no, no!” you said rather brusquely, almost in a hostile way, waving your hands in front of yourself. 
Ah, there it was. The [Name] that he knew.
When you realized your tone of voice, you quickly back-tracked, clearing your throat and pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. 
“I mean- It’s okay, Spider-Man,” you said, looking up at him through your lashes. “You did what you had to do.”
If you knew his identity ,you wouldn't say that. You would probably file a lawsuit against him.
But he appreciated the sentiment.
“What’s your name, Pretty?” He needed you to formally introduce yourself so he could stop using those cheesy nicknames.
You smiled bashfully again. “[Name].”
“Then I’ll see you later,” Jay jumped to his feet, balancing on the metal railing. He looked over his shoulder, raising a hand up, “[Name].”
With that he began swinging away.
You blinked slowly, eyes trailing his slowly disappearing figure.
When he was out of your sight, your lips immediately broke out into a wide grin. Taking off your glasses, you used a hand to cover your eyes, feeling your cheeks heat up and pull upward. 
Oh, you understood it now. Why everyone said Spider-Man was so charming.
Using both hands to cover your warm face, you let a few giggles out into your palms. 
God, Spider-Man was attractive.
Your momentary fluster was cut short when the screen door of the balcony slammed open.
“Are you gonna come in or….?”
You turned to look over your shoulder.
Jay Park. Always had to ruin everything, didn’t he?
You huffed, removing your hands from your face. “Yeah… Just, give me a second.”
“Okay.”
When you turned back, you failed to notice the smug grin plastered across Jay’s face.
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You heard from many people that Jay Park had an issue with disappearing. You understood what they meant. In the classes that you shared with him (which was few because your majors were different but similar enough), he would be absent for a few days at a time. At parties, even if you didn't actively seek him out, you’d see him at the beginning and after a few minutes, he’d just completely vanish. Even at some get-togethers that your mutual friends hosted, you’d hear some people complain about Jay always needing to “go to his job.” 
Now that you, more or less, lived under the same roof as him, you understood to a whole other degree what people meant.
According to what his own friends said, Jay had a night internship, and according to his brother, he also had a day job. He didn’t show up to his classes some days, but you would see him in the morning before class alive and well, so he clearly wasn’t having health issues. How crazy was his schedule? You had friends in his major with jobs of their own, and they weren’t flaky in the way that Jay was.
Jay would be up early, completely disappear for the entire day, and come home late.
It was weird. 
Not that you cared.
You could care less what happened to him.
You just found it strange.
Like right now.
It was late at night. Finals were coming up soon, and you simply couldn’t sleep. 
See, Wonnie was normal. Wonnie had an ordinary, completely sane, schedule. In the morning, Jay would take him to school, and in the afternoon (you assumed that) Jay either picked him up or Wonnie walked home. Either way, the kid had a much more tangible daily schedule, yet his brother’s was the complete opposite. But it didn’t seem like Wonnie questioned anything either.
You saw Wonnie come in and out of rooms, heard him get a glass of milk, you even said good night to him. 
The yellow-white lights that illuminated the apartment were blinding now, wearing down your eyes to the point that they felt watery. There was a sort of morose feeling that set over you as you sat at the cold kitchen counter. From final exams to the fact that your apartment was under reconstruction to the fact that you were practically intruding on our greatest enemy’s home was frustrating.
It would be completely bitchy and ungrateful of you to not recognize the sort of generosity that Jay displayed toward you. You really, genuinely, truly, could not stand him. He was someone who constantly made your day worse, someone who you'd never been able to agree with for years, someone who went out of his way to bother you– and vice versa. It wasn’t like you had no idea why he’d try to help you: he might be a supervillain to you, but he was no monster. It was clear that you were on a “I-only-doing-this-because-it’s-courteous” basis, but even then, for him to give you his own bedroom was more than courteous.
You didn’t like it.
Of all people in the world, why did he have to be so… hospitable?
You didn’t like the fact that you felt so dependent and almost helpless. 
You must have sat at that kitchen counter for a good chunk of time, because the next time you really moved from your lethargic position was when there was a sudden bang against the window. Lost in thought, you violently jerked up, jumping to your feet.
Eyes quivering to the windows, which were blackened by the dark night sky, there was nothing there. 
Strange.
You had your tongue dig into the inside of your cheek, frozen in place. Just when you thought your mind was just playing games, another loud bang against the window resounded through the room, followed by a few jumbled curse words.
You weren’t exactly happy that the one time you would get robbed it would be in your enemy's house.
Shit.
Except, instead of a masked burglar comically dressed in black, someone completely unexpected bursted through the window.
Red and blue spandex suit, complete masked-over face, and that unmistakable spider icon.
“Spider-Man?!”
Oh.
My.
God.
Why was Spider-Man landing in Jay Park’s apartment at this time?
And when you looked down at what you were wearing– a thin tank-top and pajama shorts–you suddenly became a lot more alarmed and self-conscious than you initially were.
“[Name]?” Spider-Man gaped. Except instead of that friendly and playful tone he was known for, it sounded sour. “What are you doing up at this time?”
You, who was now very consciously covering yourself up, gawked. “I’m– I was studying– What are you doing here, Spider-Man?”
“What do you mean? This is my ho–” Spider-Man stopped himself, before clearing his throat. Like a switch had been flipped, the hero began again, “I’m, um, stopping by to see my friend.”
You blinked.
“Y’know, Jay Park– dark hair, lip-piercing, super handsome and cool.”
Your nose scrunched at the description.
“I didn’t know you lived with him, Beautiful,” Spider-Man continued. “You said you lived with a friend, right?”
You pushed a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “I mean, I wouldn’t say friend. We’re like, acquaintances… by association.”
“You don’t sound like you like ‘em very much, yeah, Gorgeous?”
You weren’t about to lambaste Jay Park in front of Spider-man, who was apparently his friend. That would be discourteous, and you weren’t about to flame the guy that was letting you sleep in his house.
“He’s…” You didn’t want to make it seem like you were buddies, especially in front of Spider-Man. “He’s all right.”
Spider-Man was now inching toward you. “Just all right?”
You eyed the hero’s well-built figure as he came closer and closer to you, suddenly feeling shy and exposed. You felt even more shy and exposed when he very clearly lingered around the sight of your silhouette. The way his voice resounded throughout the room, slightly raspy from the yelling he must have done and low due to his exhaustion, sent a chill down your spine. 
“He’s okay,” you responded curtly. “How– How do you know him? How do you know Park?”
You could feel Spider-Man’s eyes on you even through his mask. 
“How do I know him?” Spider-Man crouched down next to your feet at the kitchen island, looking up at you. You could hear the grin in his voice. “He met me in senior year of high school.”
Oh wow. They’ve known each other for a while.
“A spider bit him, or something,” the masked hero continued. “And I found him all sick and sad when his uncle passed.”
That’s right. In senior year of high school, Jay’s uncle, the person who took on a father figure after his parents unfortunately passed. It had taken a toll on him at the time. You remembered passing him in the hallways, seeing the messy black hair overgrown over his brows and dark eye bags. The one person that you regularly debated in AP Macro was no longer interested. At the time, you had contemplated whether or not to reach out to him, but he’d completely shut everyone out.
“That’s great,” you murmured. No matter how much you didn’t like him, it didn’t mean that he should lose someone important to him. “That’s great that he had someone there for him. I remember–”
Spider-Man looked up at you.
“I remember– I tried to talk to him about it once, in… I think it was in Stats?” you recounted. Your lips pressed together before forming a slight curve. “He yelled at me.”
“He yelled at you?”
You almost laughed. “Yeah, he did. Oh man, we never got along in high school– even now– but… It’s not nice to lose someone you love, is it?”
Spider-Man stared at you silently, before quickly agreeing– “Yeah, it isn’t.”
You bit your lip as you recounted. “I wanted to comfort him, but I don’t think he wanted me of all people to do that. At least I tried.” Your eyes fluttered over to Spider-Man. “I’m glad he had someone like you to be there for him.”
Spider-Man didn’t speak.
“Are you and Park close?” you asked.
“Yeah, we are.”
You hummed. “Oh. Do you see each other a lot?”
“Everyday.”
.
.
.
Spider-Man got to his feet.
“[Name], do you want to go on an adventure with me?”
Sometimes you thought you were stupid. Not all the time because you knew you were smart, but some time like now, where you allowed a masked man who may or may have not broken into your enemy's apartment claiming to be his friend to take you around the city at night. And you did it without even telling anyone, so if you got killed in an alleyway no one would know.
Not to worry, though.
Jay Park thought he was pretty stupid, too.
Staying out late at night right before finals week and completely forgetting about the workaholic nerd freak that lived with him temporarily (you). And to make it worse, he mentioned his own civilian self!-- and he obviously couldn’t be in two places at once. 
He needed a way to deflect.
“Wooooh!” Jay hooted as he swung from building to building.
“Spider-Man– Slow down…!”
Unlike the last two times he’d taken you out on some sort of aerial excursion, you had your arms and legs wrapped tightly around his neck and torso, hugging him from the back instead of Jay holding you bridal-style. 
It was nice for a change. For the first time, you were hanging off his back instead of being directly held by him. Jay couldn’t help the snicker that he let out when you would squeeze him and squeal in his ear out of fear.
“I thought ya said you trusted me,” he beamed. Jay could feel the way your face pressed into his back as you dangled in the sky. “C’mon, Gorgeous, don’t get all scared on me now.”
“It’s not fair- Eep!”
“What’s not fair, hm?” He shot another web. You didn't respond, opting to squeeze him harder. “What’s not fair, [Name]?”
“This!” you chided in his ear. “You-You’re not scared because you do this every day!”
“Well, maybe you should do this more then.”
To Jay, it was really weird to carry a frightened you around. He never took you for the clingy type, but maybe there’s a lot he didn’t know about you. It was especially weird when he was Spider-Man, because you were oddly nice to him. When he’s Jay, there’s no denying that you’re hostile.
“Why are you so nervous?” Jay sneered when you two landed on top of the central clock tower. You’d sat down at the top, letting the cool late-Spring night hit you. For someone notorious for their crazy confidence, it was absurd to see such a person all feeble and fiddling with their fingers.
 “It’s just finals,” you mumbled.
Jay nearly laughed. “Wow, you really are a nerdo freak.”
Your cheeks visibly heated up, folding your arms over your chest. “Hey! I’m not a nerdo fre–” You stopped yourself, before you brought your eyes up to the hero. “Did he tell you that?”
The man narrowed his eyes. “W-What?”
“Park is the only person that calls me ‘nerdo freak,’” you frowned, raising up your fingers to make air-quotes. “He’s been calling me that since highschool.”
Oh.
Shit.
“Y-Yeah,” the man responded, sucking in a shallow breath. “He talks to me about you a lot.”
Not true. 
Jay Park doesn’t talk to Spider-Man about anything. 
Because they’re the same person.
You swiped your tongue over your bottom lip. “Really? What does he say about me?”
Oh, this would be awkward.
“Jay thinks you’re really… Uhm…”
There’s two things Jay could do. Tell you his (Jay’s) honest thoughts about you as Spider-Man and effectively make the entire atmosphere both now and at home awkward. Though, it wouldn’t be much of a loss because he (Jay) already made it loud and clear how he felt about you through his words and actions toward you. It would only be awkward because he as Spider-Man was the one expressing it.
The second thing he could do was lie.
“He thinks you’re hot as fuck.”
Oh my fucking god what was he doing.
“Oh… uh… Really?”
Jay wanted to kill himself.
Of all things he could have said, he said thats?– Oh my god, and now you were shifting uncomfortably in your seat– What does he do?
Jay Park was not attracted to you and he will never be! Never! Ever!
It was the first thing that came to his mind! He doesn’t mean it! Jay Park hates you! He thinks you’re ugly and- Well, actually, that’s not true. You’re a very pretty woman, he did indeed get crazy butterflies the night of the soccer mixer, and he did catch himself staring at you a few times, because let’s be honest, the tiny tank-top and pajama shorts looked good as fuck on you– but still-!
“Did he tell you that… or…?”
“Yeah, that’s a direct quote.”
Jay Park! What are you doing?
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part 2 here
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angelluvs19 · 6 months
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Hi👋 I know nobody is gonna see this but i just love the idea of Luke with a ditzy girlfriend so I decided to write it myself. I'm not great at writing but I still wanted to post this somewhere bc I kinda like how it turned out <3 (if anyone does see this plz don't judge, like I said I'm bad at writing)
Ever since he met her he knew the guys at camp would be all over her. She was so innocent and would fall under their spell in a heart beat. Which is why he needed to make sure that he got to her first. He told himself that it was because he wanted to protect her, that the other guys would only use her. But in reality, there was more to it than that and he knew it.
There was something about her that drew him in. Mabey it was the way she got so flustered when she first met him. The way she looked up at him with those pretty blue eyes of hers, her cheeks a bright shade of pink. And the fact she stuttered when he asked for her name, making him smile.
Or mabey it was the way she dressed. She always wore skirts, even if she was at a camp. Shed wear a short white skirt with the classic orange camp half blood shirt. She always has a bow in her hair. Whether it was to hold in her pig tails, or a small pink clip with a bow on it in her long wavy hair.
Whatever it was he knew that he needed her to be his, and Luke always gets what he wants. Only a week into camp, she was all over him. She'd always stayed right by his side during capture the flag, and by the gods if anyone tried to hurt her they'd spend the rest of the day in the infirmary.
Or whenever the camp was doing activities, even something simple as bracelet making, she's always insisting that he help her. Stating that she can't tie it or that she cant find the right beads and needs his help. He knows that it's just stupid excuses so that he could be around her, but who was he to deny his princess?
And when she'd come crying to him because  of something random that happened to her he always Comforts her, no matter how small it is. Most of the time it's Clarisse making fun of her because she did something wrong, or one of the boys making sexual jokes towards her. But sometimes it's something as simple as her breaking her favorite blush, or ruining her favorite top. But he still whispers sweet praises and promises in her ear as she cries into his chest. "shh it's okay sweetheart. I know it hurts, but everything is going to be alright" or "I'm here okay, I'll make sure to protect you. No one can ever hurt you when your with me"
And one night when she was sitting in his lap crying, he finally makes a small move. "Do you want me to make you feel better?" He asks, his voice soft, hiding the undertone of lust he felt for her. Even when she's crying she's so pretty. When she nods, his hand starts creeping up her thigh until he reaches the hem of her panties.
When she questions what hes doing he just says something like "I'm helping you feel better. Isn't that what you want?" He asks, smiling at the small whimpers that leave her mouth as he rubs her clit through her pink panties. "See? It feels good doesn't it" he says, rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves faster. Her soft moans and pleas only make him want her more.
And once he makes her cum once he just can't stop. He starts fingering her, most definitely taking her virginity. And when she complains about the pain, he just praises her softly. "I know baby, I know it hurts. You're doing such a good job princess. I promise it'll feel so good, even better than before". And he was right, soon she was moaning and whining while grinding her hips against his hand, only making him go faster. "That's it sweetheart, taking my fingers so well" 
And he doesn't stop until she on the verge of tears from the overstimulation. The second she catches her breath he lays her down on the bed, his hands immediately moving to unbutton his jeans to relieve his ranging hard on. "I know your tired baby, I'm only gonna take a minute okay?" He reassures you softly before sliding in, giving you time to adjust.
He knows that it hurts more than his fingers, and when you start crying from the pain he just kisses your cheek gently "hey, It's okay. I know it hurts darling. Just relax and let me take care of you okay? I'll protect you". He gives you extra time before moving in and out of you at a slow pace.
"Shh it's okay princess, it'll feel good soon" he says softly, thrusting a little faster. Soon she's squirming under him, begging to cum again. He fucks her a little faster, getting her closer to the edge. And when she finally does cum he talks her through it. "That's it baby, you look so pretty cumming on my cock. You're such a good girl for me. You're mine now aren't you? Gonna let me fuck you whenever I want?"
He moans out praises before he pulls out and moves to cum on her pretty face. He smiles when her tounge lolls out to lick the cum off of him, but when she comes back to reality she starts complaining about how he ruined her makeup.
He laughs softly at her reaction and cleans off her face with a towel before laying down beside her, pulling her into his arms. "I'm sorry I ruined your makeup, when I leave camp again I'll bring back all the makeup you want" he promises as he runs his fingers through her hair, loving the way she smiles up at him. Eventually after a few minutes of cuddles and praise, she closes her eyes and nuzzles into his chest. "Aww is my princess tired?" He teases softly. "Sleep baby, you deserve it" he kisses your forehead as she falls asleep in his arms. He had her in his grasp, and no one was going to take her away from him.
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cdbabymp3 · 7 months
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Having thoughts about hamzahs hands and arms likeeeee… sexy. Just him always touching you and u love when he puts his arms around you.
𐙚hands & arms ― hamzahthefantastic
notes/warnings: sfw & nsfw hc's !! i did indicate where the nsfw portion starts though so if you just wanna read the sfw you can ! slight mention of weed lol (i kinda went overboard w this ... 🤒)
[unedited]
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sfw
-boy's got the prettiest hands evaaa 🌟
-he's extremely touch deprived so he's gotta be holding your hand at all times
-in the winter when it's absolutely freezing, he'll take your hands in his and blow hot air, rubbing them to create friction 😭 he's so corny i love him
-if you guys are high, he'll compare the size of your hands with his for the millionth time and act surprised (his are muchhh larger)
"whaaaattt oh my goddd y/n you're like a little alien !!"
-he likes to cradle your face when you kiss, generally just needs to hold you in any given situation
-you could be reaching for something above you in the kitchen and he feels the need to keep a hand on the small of your back like he's spotting you at the gym BYEEE
-when he first met your parents for dinner, he had a hand on your thigh the whole night. if there was a brief pause in the conversation or he didn't know the answer to a question your dad asked, he'd squeeze your thigh for help
-likes when you kiss his knuckles and fingertips, it never fails to bring a smile to his face and he always returns the favor
-this is probably super niche but i feel like he's good with his hands ??? not even sexually (well-yes but we'll get to that in a sec...) but just able to open difficult things that are too tedious for you
-he has a very steady hand is what i'm trying to say... so if the clasps of your bra are being difficult or there's a random knot in your earbuds he's your guy ! 😁
-again, maybe too niche, but he's a fast typer as well
-if you have a huge essay due and you're exhausted, just tell him what you want to say and he'll put his slutty little glasses on and type if out for you so fucking quick bc that's bf !! 💘
-now his arms ...
-he thinks he's not that strong but oh he definitely is
-can open anything for you, even those annoying ass sauce jars that are literally airtight
-THIS BOY'S A TEASE THOUGH so yes you will have to SHOW HIM that you tried to open it and then he'll be like "ok fine lemme do it 😒"
-okay he hates the whole hyper-masculine mentality of a girl making a man feel manly butttt there is one exception: when you guys are walking together and you hold onto his bicep ... goes fucking crazy for that
-he likes to pick you up all the time !! during fights, when he gets home from filming, when you tell him good news, etc. etc.
-you could be in the middle of a stupid argument where both of y'all are just being petty for nothing and you know it, so he'll pick you up while you're cussing him out and put you over his shoulder
-you protest at first, demanding he put you down, but then he'll spin you a bit to make you laugh and get over whatever y'all were fighting about
-piggyback rides and carrying you bridal style are a must
-yes, he let's you do the tiktok trend where you tie a ribbon around his bicep. no, he does not let you post it.
nsfw
-driving hamzah driving hamzah DRIVING HAMZAH !!! one hand on the steering wheel, the other on your inner thigh with the most innocent expression on his face as his fingers creep towards where you need him
-likes when you suck on his fingers mhm mhm he will NOT break eye contact when you do it
-WILL interlock fingers with yours when he eats you out, he needs the intimacy
-very skilled with his hands as i mentioned earlier ...
-he may be an inexperienced bachelor but this boy knows where the clit is and how to circle it just right
-since it took a while for you guys to actually fuck in your relationship (bc he wanted to take things slow) fingering was his go-to and jesus christ is he good at it 🪦
-his fingers are fairly long and thicker than yours so he's curling them and reaching all the right spots
-his hands are calloused from lifting and it's hot !! this is smth i won't negotiate
-when he's caressing your thighs and ass you can feel how rough they are in certain areas and it only adds to the stimulation
-he will lightly hold your neck when you guys makeout, not quite enough to choke you though, he's so cute
-ARMS ARMS ARMS ARMS MY WEAKNESS 🐺
-can definitely toss you around if you get what i mean ...
-it's always jokingly though, he'd never want to actually hurt you so he doesn't use his full strength
-if you've been at a party together and are dying to get home to be alone he will speed back to his place, slam the door behind you, pick you up to walk over and throw you onto his bed, laughing at how horny both of you are
-can literally lift your weight with one hand, so if you guys are kissing on the couch and want to switch to his bed, it's light work for him
-hates himself for it but he does have a hint of a size/strength kink that i don't think he'd ever openly admit lmao
-looooovesss when you grab for his biceps during the initial thrust into you ... DONT GET ME STARTED
-hugs you from behind 😵‍💫 he knows how much it turns you on
-like you're super focused on something and he'll walk up behind you and wrap his arms around your body, swaying you side to side to distract you
"hamzah..." you warn
"what???" he always plays dumb
^this almost always ends in making out and/or hooking up
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໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; @forevergirlposts
(lmk if u wanna be added, luvs!!)
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luveline · 11 months
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Jade, if you don't mind, I'd love to see more of Spencer with a badass!reader who doesn't want to show much emotion bc it's a bit hard for her :)
Have a nice day<33
thank u!
cw graphic imagery + minor character death 
The gunshot is loud. It's deafening. It's deja vu. 
Spencer watches the body collapse in on itself with ears ringing, a pitching forward, a mess where a head used to be hitting the tiled floor. Barely a teenager, snuffed to nothing. You collapse onto your knees beside it, the sound of your knee caps connecting with the floor the only distinctive sound to his ears. He can't hear Hotch, rarely pissed, and he can't hear the sirens outside. He can't hear any of it. 
Blood spray on your cheek transfers to his hand as he remembers himself, falling onto his knees beside you, gore sinking into his pants. It's hot in its pool, colder where it's painted your face, the spray metallic as he swipes it away from your eyelashes. "Are you okay?" he asks, trying to meet your eyes. 
Your gaze is a thousand miles away. You won't look at him. He forces your chin up and it doesn't matter; you aren't present, no you behind your eyes. 
He applies pressure to your face. Nothing cruel, enough to drag you back to the present as his thumb sets about stroking a soft line, the only softness he can offer right now. "Are you okay?" he asks again. He says your name. 
You barely blink. 
"Take her outside, Reid," Hotch says, pointless EMTs creeping into the room. They're there to confirm death. Nothing else. "Just take her out." 
Spencer hooks you under the arms and drags you up against his chest. You're rigid, dead weight, and he has to plead with you to get you moving. "Come on," he says, his arm behind your back. 
Morgan sees the struggle. He has questions of his own, but all his off-kilter teasing and pet names fall on deaf ears as the two men help you outside and onto a low flower bed wall. You seem to snap back into action, then, breath suddenly quick and hands stretching out to touch your blood slick knees. You visibly fret at the staining of your palms and wipe your hands down your calves, a bundle of harsh movements. 
"It's okay," Spencer says. 
"Does she need a medic?" Morgan asks. He sounds angry, somehow. Spencer knows it to be a manifestation of his worry for you in your reluctant friendship. 
You turn to Spencer, eyes imploring. 
"No," Spencer says, "just give us a minute." 
Morgan squints. A minute, he seems to agree, and not a second longer. You're quick to anger, sure, but quicker to logic, and your shock is catching everyone unprepared. You've never reacted like this. Spencer has never seen you on your knees like that. 
"I'm sorry," you say, touching his thigh. Your voice is barely your own, thready and hoarse. "I tried." 
"I know you tried. I know you did, you have nothing to be sorry for." Spencer's reeling himself. They haven't had a case like this in years, and it hits the same. Another bullied kid failed by the people around him, who could've hurt hundreds of people, who could've killed them, and killed you. It's complicated but remarkably simple. "He was going to hurt you." 
"We could've–" You choke on something, some suggestion of a what-if.
You don't let yourself connect to people on cases. You have sympathy for victims, empathy, but you don't react like this. You're like Emily in that you compartmentalise everything you can. You've never spoken about past cases and what you might change, never even suggested to him that you think about your failings after they've happened, until now. 
"I don't know what happened," you say, your voice near whining, high-pitched and logged with panic as you stare down at your legs and cover your face, as though you don't want him to see you. 
You turn away from him. 
"It's okay," he says. He tries to be soft but his adrenaline is coasting, his reassurance panicked. You sound like you're in pain. 
"I don't know what happened," you insist, covering the back of your head with your hands as you curl in on yourself. 
You don't cry. Spencer wasn't expecting you too. You just panic, tensed, turned away from him, and flinch at his attempts to touch you. "Don't. I'm fine," you force out. 
"You're not fine. You don't have to be fine," he stands up and you flicker, hands pushing down harder. Spencer covers them with his own and sighs. "It's okay. It's okay." He drops to a whisper. "It's okay, you're okay." 
You're hard to comfort, but it's not impossible. Spencer isn't stupid. He knows if this were anyone else touching you, you'd have sprung from your makeshift seat or pushed them away, but he's lucky in that you seem to have this tender spot for him, a sweetness that never wanes. He drifts in closer and hugs your head to his abdomen, one arm covering your hands until they fall, the other across your back. 
Your job is your job, but there is nothing wrong with needing comfort after seeing something horrific. "It's okay if you don't feel how you were expecting," he says, rubbing a half-circle into your back.
"It's hard… for me. This is…" 
You don't finish. It doesn't matter. Spencer paused any action to hold you, his eyes shuttering closed, dumb to any sound beside the strange shudder in your breath as you catch it. You've always had a talent for removing Spencer from his surroundings; you've looked at him and snagged him out of time. He never knew it could happen like this, though. You struggle to fall apart and Spencer doesn't know if he should hold you together or let it hurt. 
Whatever you do… "I'm here," he says, rubbing your back. 
You wrap your arms around his waist. 
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jeffthekillerzblog · 10 months
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a major plot point or like the entire thing about my au is just the creeps moving on and having their own character arcs throughout the years and finally heal from their past trauma
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(rest is me rambling about my au...u don't have to read if u don't wanna its pretty long)
Jeff's arc is big on him finding his brother and coming to terms with what really happened. jeff is so incredibly stubborn and a big (very) egotistical. he finds it hard to open up and after what happened he feels that there's no point opening up anyway bc he's literally a famous asshole serial killer who's messed up SO many people's lives. another big thing about his arc is just owning up to his actions and apologizing to the people he's hurt. for example, nina. he led her on, treated her terribly for no reason, and was overall just an asshole. after they get into an argument he'll eventually apologize bc like he didn't HATE nina, he's was and prob still is in a terrible mindset and copes in such unhealthy ways. IDK OK I'm rambling but my point is he does eventually apologize to nina not because he needs her or like wants to use her again. he apologizes because he genuinely misses her and BOOM they become besties again after jeff properly apologizes and ya. BUT basically jeff's arc is him finally finding liu after all these years and yeah he apologizes to all the people he hurt (or the IMPORTANT ones) like nina, liu, and EVENTUALLY... jane. but that's WAY into the future (besides nina) he's way too full of himself to apologize now.
Nina's arc is her getting over JEFF. her love for Jeff began when she met him. she already admired him, but he turned into a full on crush. he did lead her on, and it hurt her a lot. shed spent tons of nights alone when jeff was supposed to be sleeping next to her, and she just felt so lonely, especially since jeff was so neglectful. She talks to clockwork about it and they help her realize her self worth and comforts her (she's terrible at it). Nina starts hanging out with Nat and toby more often, and it makes her feel SO much better about herself. Eventually she does get fed up of jeffs bs and they get into an argument and nina decides to leave. she kicks him out of her apartment and she doesn't let him come back. (she does....when he apologizes.....) She eventually learns to love herself and realize she doesn't need a stinky man's validation. Theres also a bit of her coming to terms with her own trauma, but I haven't fully fleshed that part out yet.
BEN's arc is probably my favorite. he's lost all his memories of his past life, and now after he accidentally found out he's NOT just a computer AI program, he decides to take it on himself to find out who his family was, how his life was, and how he died. I wont say as much bc I want to keep it a surprise, but in summary it fucks him up LMAO
ok that's it. OBVIOUSLY the rest of the creeps are healing as well BUT I have not fleshed out their stories yet...oops. so its just three for now. Except MUCH more stuff about the trio bc I love them with my all.. if u have any questions feel free to ask :3
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ceilidho · 10 months
Note
coworker soap who frames the fleshlight thing as a joke but with a creepy undercurrent that you cant understand why you know it isnt a joke but you also dont wanna rock the boat so you dont tell hr bc johnny the ex-military man is a model employee otherwise and you cant help but feel hot shame run down ur spine when he says it that you are, at least a little, flattered by it bc shit dude hes HOT. coworker soap who just. doesnt bring it up again. its just boiling rhe frog. he says weird, borderline creepy shit that could be passed off as "guy talk" in any other situation (regardless of readers gender). He follows you around like a puppy and where it used to be normal for you, you feel a little creeped out now but. everyone. already refers to you as a duo. itd be weird if you stopped for no reason? right?
i don't know what broke in my mind long ago that this is like, the weirdly hottest thing in the world to me but im genuinely twitching over it right now.
model employee Johnny, knows the handbook inside and out, walks elderly customers to their cars with their bags, shows up to work early for every shift, always with a smile and a positive attitude. management loves him because his sales are also record high (i mean, it makes sense - i wouldn't be able to say no if he was helping me with a purchase and tried to upsell me). he's also a spokesperson for the company in all of their internal training videos because he was hired through some "jobs for vets" program that they just rolled out (idk i'm making this up). and the guy can stack things on a shelf like no one's business lmao like MILITARY precision/organization.
all your coworkers love him and genuinely like fist pump whenever they get put on the schedule with him because he's a blast to work with, and some of your coworkers are actually incredibly jealous that he just seems to follow you around everywhere. hangs off your every word. always seems to just pop out from around the corner whenever you're having trouble reaching something on a shelf.
but he says weird, uncomfortable shit to you sometimes. way over the line. you don't even know what to say at first when Johnny jokingly tells you that he has a fleshlight at home that he's named after you, just laughs and then stares at you for a second. and you like, give a little awkward laugh, growing more uncomfortable by the second the longer he stares at you without blinking. until something passes over his eyes and suddenly he's back to normal, clapping you on the arm and wandering off back to the men's apparel section.
he does a lot of strange shit actually. maybe insists on walking you to your car when the two of you are on the closing shift and it's well into the evening. laughs a little too hard and with too much vigour when someone calls him your shadow, his eyes just a little too bright and fervent. asks if you want to sit on his lap while he shows you how to use the forklift in the backroom. begs management to let him take his breaks with you and doesn't let you have a moment of peace, just sits with you in the breakroom or follows you to your car when you say that you're going out for lunch.
and you can't complain to any of your coworkers because the second you so much as criticize his work, they bark at you to be nice to him. he's just re-acclimating to civilian life, of course he's not perfect at his job yet. they defend him viciously. and the real jealous ones even tell on you in front of him, leaving you standing there embarrassed and on the spot until Johnny just smiles and says that it's alright. you'll just have to teach him better.
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justtimings · 9 months
Text
Gojo Satoru - "Could Get Used to This"
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summary: satoru revels in the blissful morning with his lover.
contents: fluff, slightest bit of angst, established relationship, fem reader, sappy satoru bc my heart needs it
a/n: this was sorta inspired by jiwoo's 'greed'. that song is so good it screams satoru to me
word count: 0.6k
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The humming of the birds accompanied with the soft rays peeking through the curtains caused Satoru to awake from his sleep, his squinted eyes rapidly blinking to adjust to the light. He stifles a yawn and refrains from stirring around in fear he'll wake you.
He slowly removes his arms from your waist to stretch, almost letting out a groan from the relief, and relaxes once more into the bed. Upon seeing your resting form, he cooes internally and can't help his endearing gaze when met with the sight of you. You're so precious, too precious to him, and he feels himself falling in love all over again as his heart thrums in his chest, the feeling only you bring out of him.
How did I ever get this lucky?
The strongest sorcerer never believed love was meant for him, or rather, he could not afford it. Not when he bears the weight of being the Gojo Satoru, the sole heir to the clan, possessor of the Six Eyes and Limitless; not when he experienced why it was the most twisted curse of all. That is, until you came into his life. Satoru is aware of the dangers that may await you, being his lover, but he allows himself to be selfish a while longer, to forget his responsibilities and bask in your presence. He knows you'd want him to do the same, too.
Your eyes peek open, slowly adjusting to the soft light shining on you. You stay like this for a while in a calming silence, enjoying the warmth of the sun creeping up your face, giving your eyelids the time to fully awaken. Taking a sharp inhale, you stir in bed and, no longer feeling your boyfriend's weight on you, sit up and turn around to him sweetly staring at you. A shy smile makes its way to your lips at the sight as you lazily yawn, your face scrunched from stretching your arms before plopping back onto the mattress to face him.
"Good morning 'Toru," you whisper, your voice holding hints of raspiness: he thinks it's the cutest thing in the world. Reaching out to run your hands through his hair, his silky strands bring you immediate comfort. You lightly scrape his scalp, to which he lets out a contempt sigh. "Mornin' baby," he says back, gingerly tracing your lips with his fingers before quietly clearing his throat to speak once more. "You sleep good?"
You hum, your hands sliding down to draw light circles on his back. You lean in peck and him all over his face, your feathery lips tickling his face, causing him to let out a breathy chuckle. "I'm gonna go make us some waffles. You comin'?" you ask, pushing yourself off the bed, but you can't help but notice Satoru's constant gaze, as if his eyes are glued to you. A slight smile creeps up onto his features, and a beat passes with no reply from him.
"Baby, you good?" you question, adornment evident in your tone, your head cocked to the side with a subtle grin forming on your face. Had his silence occured in any other setting, you'd have been concerned, but the tender look and fuzzy smile he wears on his face tells you everything you need to know. You'd never felt so full of love until now.
It's moments like these that Satoru ingrains in his memory indefinitely: the little interactions that always accompany him, even when he's not with you. They make him feel as if he's floating in pure bliss, and at times he finds it impossible to believe he's obtained this. He dreams of marrying you, of growing old together, of every morning being just as heartwarming as this one.
"Yeah baby, I'm fine," he assures you, his smile widening as he stands from the bed. "Let's go make those waffles," he says, walking towards you until he's a width away from your face, cupping your cheeks in his hands. He leans down to repeatedly kiss your forehead, muttering 'I love you's' in between each one.
I could get used to this, he thinks.
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this is my very first fic, so if you have any criticism, please lmk! don't be afraid to dissect anything and everything because i know i need more practice, so your tips are very much needed and appreciated!
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vanteguccir · 2 months
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Matt or Chris accidentally walking into your room while you’re changing
chris:
I feel like Chris would for sure be a little flustered and, of course, respectful, BUT he would also not hold back his gaze and let it linger in your body a little, asking himself "how the fuck I didn't noticed how hot she was before?", for sure saying something silly too
- A SMALL BLURB FOR YA -
Chris's bedroom was a chaotic mess, as usual. His bed unmade, while clothes were strewn across the floor. Y/N, his best friend, had known him long enough to not be fazed by the clutter. Today, she was using his room to change into a new outfit for their night out - the triplets having decided to have dinner at BOA, trusting him to respect her privacy.
She was halfway through pulling up her skirt, her back turned towards the door, when it suddenly swung open.
"Hey, Y/N, have you seen my-" Chris's voice trailed off abruptly.
There he stood, frozen in the doorway, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Y/N, wearing nothing but her bra and the skirt that was still bunched up around her thighs, turned her head sharply to see him standing there, dumbfounded.
"CHRIS!" She screamed, her voice a mix of shock and embarrassment. She hastily tried to cover herself with the top she was about to put on, fumbling and flustered. "What are you doing?!"
Chris didn't move. His eyes were fixed on her, blinking only occasionally as if to confirm he wasn't imagining the sight before him. His cheeks flushed a deep red, yet he couldn't help but take in every detail of her bare skin.
"I'm-I'm sorry!" he stammered, but his feet remained glued to the spot. "I just- wow, you- uh, you look... wow."
"Chris, stop fucking staring!" Y/N squealed, trying to pull her top over her head while keeping her modesty intact. She was mortified but couldn't help but notice the way his gaze lingered appreciatively over her body.
Realizing he was still gawking, Chris shook his head as if snapping out of a trance. He took a step back, a mischievous grin creeping onto his face.
"You know, Y/N, if I had known you'd look this good, I would've barged in sooner."
"Get out!" Y/N yelled, now using one hand to throw one of his shoes that were close to her feet at him. The shoe missed him by inches, but it was enough to make him stumble backward, laughing.
"Alright, alright, I'm going!" He chuckled, raising his arms and backing out of the room. "But seriously, you should consider making this a regular thing."
Y/N groaned, her face burning with embarrassment as she finished dressing. Outside the door, Chris's laughter echoed down the hallway, leaving her both flustered and slightly amused at the absurdity of the situation.
matt:
we all know that Matt is a respectful king and SO SO soft 😩 he would be so flustered and so fucking lost, I feel like he would act like a lost puppy, not knowing where to look (even tho his eyes wanted to look at you so bad bc wow, you're so hot and pretty), and he would apologize a lot while you felt like laughing at the poor boy 😭
- HERE'S A LITTLE BLURBB -
Matt strolled down the small hallway that lead to his bedroom. He had just returned from the kitchen with a snack, ready to relax in his room. Y/N, his best friend, was in town and staying with him and his brothers for the weekend.
As Matt approached his bedroom door, he remembered Y/N had borrowed his room to change clothes. He absentmindedly pushed the door open, not thinking much of it. The sight that greeted him made him freeze in his tracks, snack forgotten in his hand.
Y/N stood in the middle of the room, halfway through changing, with her back to the door. She was in the process of pulling on a shirt, her upper body almost completely exposed except for a delicate lace bra. Her skin glowed softly under the room's warm light, and her hair cascaded down her back in waves.
Matt's brain short-circuited. His eyes widened, and his mouth fell open. He was struck by how stunning she looked, and for a split second, he couldn't tear his gaze away. His cheeks flushed a deep crimson, and he felt an awkward heat spread through his body.
Y/N, hearing the door open, turned her head slightly and saw Matt standing there, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Her initial shock quickly morphed into amusement. She couldn't help but notice how flustered he looked, his eyes darting everywhere except at her.
"Matt!" She exclaimed, trying to suppress a giggle. "A little privacy, please?"
Matt snapped back to reality, his eyes still wide with embarrassment, looking like a lost puppy.
"Oh my god, Y/N, I’m so sorry!" He stammered, averting his gaze to the floor. He fumbled with the door handle, attempting to close it but failing miserably as his nerves got the better of him. "I didn’t mean to- I mean, I wasn’t trying to- Oh God!"
Y/N couldn't hold back her laughter anymore.
"It's okay, Matt. Just close the door."
He finally managed to pull the door shut, standing on the other side with his back against it, his heart pounding in his chest and his brain repeatedly exposing the rushed image it captured of her. Inside the room, Y/N quickly finished changing, still chuckling to herself. She could imagine Matt’s flustered expression, and it made her chest warm with affection.
A moment later, she opened the door to find Matt still standing there, looking mortified, staring at nothing, with a still un-opened snack in hand. She reached out and lightly touched his arm, her touch snapping him out of his daze.
"Hey, it’s really okay." She said softly, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "No harm done."
Matt’s cheeks were still flushed, but he managed a sheepish smile.
"I’m really sorry, Y/N. I swear, I didn’t mean to walk in on you."
"I know, Matt. It’s fine. Really." She laughed again, the sound light.
He rubbed the back of his neck, still looking like a lost puppy.
"You’re, uh, really pretty. Like glowing and... and all." He blurted out, then immediately regretted it, his blush deepening.
Y/N’s laughter softened into a tender smile.
"Thanks, Matt. You’re pretty cute when you’re all flustered, you know."
He groaned, covering his face with his hands.
"Stop, you’re making it worse."
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loveharlow · 6 months
Note
I neeeed a friends to lovers with rafe. like you’ve been friends for ages and always been a bit flirty but he’s get a girlfriend so you back off and he gets annoyed. so he invites you to the gym bc you always went together and he’s touchy and ends with a love confession.
i'm only doing blurbs rn so I had to shorten this a bit but i still feel like it encompasses your idea which is just chef's kiss btw😚 (also, this idea reminds me of that new Lay Bankz song thats been going viral:)
cheating, sexual innuendoes, heavy touching, allusions to sex
"Your ass is getting tighter." Rafe breathed out, setting the barbell down, letting the metal clank against the padded gym floors.
You scoffed, taking one last swig from your water bottle and shifting your weight, letting the now closed cup fall gently to the floor. Your hands were on your hips as you spoke through heavy breaths. "You can't say things like that to me anymore, y'know?".
The boy simply shrugged, standing from the bench and leaning against the metal that supported the equipment. "You never had an issue before."
"You didn't have a girlfriend before." You added, cocking an eyebrow and turning away from him to where the dumbbells were lined up against the wall and adjusting your sports bra. "Or are you just gonna pretend Sophia doesn't exist?"
The wall where the weights were had a large mirror behind it, allowing you to see Rafe creeping up behind you, swiping a hand down his face to reveal a smirk. "Is that why you been dodgin' me? What, she say somethin' to you?" He inquired, sliding a gentle hand around your waist to which you brushed off immediately, sighing and turning on your heels to face him.
"No, Rafe, she didn't. But I wouldn't blame her if she did." You informed, crossing your arms and paying no mind to the little distance between you two. "The flirting, the touching — you can't keep doing this. I'm not a home-wrecker or a side-piece."
"You wouldn't have to be if you had said somethin' first." He said so nonchalantly, reaching around to tap your ass as your jaw dropped.
You struggled to find words, stuttering over your sentences before he cut in once more. "Next time you want advice? Don't ask Top. A little vodka and he's an open book." He basically laughed out.
"...Well, whatever he told you, it's over now." You gained your composure, feigning confidence and carelessness as you pulled your workout shorts higher up on your waist and attempted to turn away once more.
"So, you don't wanna fuck me anymore?"
You couldn't help but laugh, partly out of shock and amusement, throwing your head back as your eyes zoned in on Rafe. "That's what he told you?" You asked incredulously, scoffing. "I've wanted to fuck a lot of people, rich boy. You're not special."
The sweaty male simply jutted out his bottom lip, ruffling his hair. "I didn't think you'd want me to bring up the part where he said you were in love with me." He retorted. "Y'know, since I have a girlfriend 'n all..." He mocked your previous statement, throwing his hands out and turning away from you now.
"That's..." You started, tucking stray strands of hair behind your ear, feeling your face heat up. "...completely untrue." You muttered under your breath. The somewhat playful banter had turned into dangerous territory for any conversation to take place.
You'd been trying to keep your distance from Rafe ever since he popped out with Sophia for this exact reason.
You bent down to pick up two ten-pound weights in hopes of ending the conversation there when an all too familiar hand fully grabbed your ass in one hand, squeezing so tightly that you let the weights fall to the floor, whipping around in shock.
"Rafe! Dude, what-"
"I wanna hear it." He whispered, a hand grasping your jaw and directing your gaze up to him.
"Hear what?" You forced out, your speech slightly slurred from the way he was pressing your cheeks together.
"You're too pretty to play dumb." He spoke lowly, eyeing you up and down. "We both know you still want me. So, just admit it and I'll give you what you want."
Your mind fiddled with the idea for a moment. You never considered yourself a homewrecker or anything of the sort but something about Rafe was so tempting at this moment, making your knees shake as you stood.
You knew what you said next would forever make you the villain in most people's stories but self-control was always something you struggled with.
"...I'm still in love with you."
"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"He spoke against your lips, your faces just centimeters apart.
His free hand hooked into the waistband of your shorts, dragging them down as your eyes fleeted around the empty gym room. He dropped to his knees in front of you, dragging your bottoms the rest of the way down as he licked his lips.
"Next time, let's not make this so hard on ourselves, yeah?"
©loveharlow.
heads up: i added emoji anons to my blog, so feel free to send an ask to take one if you frequently send in asks!
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ugh-yoongi · 7 months
Text
the very last thing i decide | pjm
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(or, the one in which a love exists that's easy and instinctual as much as it is painful and self-destructive.)
✘ PAIRING jimin x f. reader ✘ SUMMARY you learn what it means to love with blood on your hands. ✘ GENRE hitman/assassin au; angst, smut ✘ RATING explicit. minors dni. ✘ WARNINGS they are both hitmen (hitpeople?) so there's all the content that goes along with that: violence, death, mentions of blood (a lot) and weapons, murder, but no explicit gore. everyone is morally grey at best and downright psychotic at worst (especially yoongi). reader gets stabbed. no one knows how to be a functional human being. swearing, smoking, light smut (penetrative & oral sex), miscommunication and unrequited love but not really, i drop a classic tumblr meme in a line of dialogue. ambiguous/hopeful ending!! some of the themes here are kinda heavy and i am not entirely sure how to tag them so if you have any questions pls don’t hesitate to ask! ✘ WORDCOUNT 12k ✘ LISTEN TO manchester orchestra - telepath ✘ THANK YOU i cannot remember everyone i’ve showed this to over the years. @the-boy-meets-evil for looking this over and brainstorming with me today. @hot-soop for always being a help. @effortandmore because you told me an embarrassingly long time ago this was worth finishing. and i’m pretty sure i also sent this to @jihopesjoint at some point too. i did a quick edit of this on my own, but after nearly three years i just wanted it posted and out of my wips so i'm sure i missed things. pls ignore them. ✘ AUTHOR'S NOTE fic drops two days in a row?? who am i?? i started this in may 2021 and it was supposed to be a simple pegging fic. i abandoned it bc i was convinced no one would want to read it. between today and yesterday i have written thousands of words and made it across the finish line. i hope you like it. the violence is a metaphor for love or whatever.
[37.5665° N, 126.9780° E | Seoul, SOUTH KOREA]
Jimin’s hair had been red the first time he met you.
How fitting, he thinks, considering he’s currently bleeding out on a table.
Well, there’s still a bit of fight left in him. He hasn’t lost consciousness yet, which he assumes is a good sign; he can still hear Hoseok barking out orders quite clearly. The edges of his vision are fuzzy and the pain in his abdomen is sharp and unrelenting, but he still has enough brain power left to wish he’d died instead.
Because you’d saved his life. And now he’s further indebted to you.
(Jimin never leaves a debt unpaid, but he’s not sure how to make even on something like this.)
Jungkook and Taehyung are fetching supplies faster than Hoseok can ask for them. Two pairs of frazzled, spaced-out eyes. Four sets of trembling limbs. Namjoon’s wearing burn marks into the floor, his cuticles bloody and nearly worried to the bone since he can’t keep them out of his mouth.
And then there’s you.
Sitting cross-legged in a chair as you scroll through your phone. Jimin’s blood is still drying on your hands, leaving smears as you drag your thumb back and forth across the screen, and this doesn’t seem to faze you one bit.
Behind you, Yoongi takes a seat at the piano and starts playing Toccata and Fugue in D minor, and Jimin simply cannot die like this. He can’t die on a wooden table in a room with a piano on which Min Yoongi is playing Baroque organ pieces.
“What is this, a fucking funeral?” Hoseok snaps, though there’s a desperation creeping into his tone that Jimin does not like, does not want to hear. “Cut it out, Yoongi.”
Said man staunchly ignores the doctor, transitioning flawlessly into the fugue. Jimin barely hears the tinkle of your laughter but he hears it all the same, and he wants to pretend it doesn’t calm him, bring him back down to earth when he starts drifting too far away. But you do, and it does, and all he can think about is: will you miss him if he dies? Will it take you long to wash his blood from your hands?
Hoseok’s absolutely incensed, pushed to the limits of his stress at the thought of not being able to save Jimin’s life, and Jimin appreciates this, really, but not when Hoseok pushes two gloved fingers deep into the wound in his stomach so hard all he can do is cry. “Yoongi—”
You snort. You don’t even look up from your phone.
Namjoon, for all his leadership and stoicism and poise under pressure, is just as frantic and panicked as the rest. It’s not everyday one of his people is inches from death ten feet away from him. Most people usually die in the shadows. Kim Namjoon has faced down death more times than most, yet watching the life slowly fade from Jimin’s eyes is too much even for him. “Yoongi, please—”
But the fugue keeps going, tempo change after tempo change, the two pillars of this organization spiraling completely by the time the coda starts, unfocused and sweating and praying. To gods they don’t believe in, to hope, to chance—whatever and whoever might be listening. Jimin usually loves hearing Yoongi play. It’s the only thing that humanizes him, and Jimin had spent so many restless nights shoulder to shoulder with him on that exact bench in the blue hours of the early morning, hypnotized by the way the older man’s knobby fingers moved across the keys.
This is it, he thinks.
Jimin’s going to die with Toccata and Fugue in D minor playing in the background.
He’s imagined his death so many times. Stupid not to in this line of work. Violent, quick and painless, in his sleep, drawn out and gory, a message. And in all of those scenarios, it’s either jarringly silent or there’s someone screaming. Usually him, sounding much like he is now, two fingers stuck in his gut. In all of those scenarios, Min Yoongi is never playing Bach as everything fades to black.
You sigh. “Shut the fuck up, Yoongi,” you say, your tone as blasé and inconvenienced as ever.
Shocked at your audacity, one of Yoongi’s fingers slips and hits the wrong key, something dissonant and metallic as it rings out. But the music stops all the same, the silence nearly giving Jimin whiplash. Now he can hear the clinkof Hoseok’s tools, the squelching of his wound, Jungkook’s desperate pleading for him to just be alright, please God, just hang on. He wants the music back. He doesn’t want Jungkook’s crying to be the last thing he hears. Doesn’t want the sound of his own organs imprinted into his memory.
“What’d you say?” Yoongi asks, because no one talks to him that way. They wouldn’t dare. Most people try not to talk to him at all.
But you do.
And, inexplicably, Yoongi listens.
You roll your eyes. “You go deaf in your old age? I said shut the fuck up. Hoseok’s two knuckles deep in Jimin’s fucking stomach and you’re over there having your little Amadeus moment.”
He bristles. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” Yoongi repeats, and Jimin can’t see him, but he knows his eyes are narrowed, lips pulled back in a snarl, fists clenched at his side.
“Oh, princess,” you coo, and Yoongi’s fury is palpable, permeates every inch of this place, overrides all the fear and anguish. “I’m talking to you, baby. I know Jiminie’s busy trying not to die and that’s stressful for all of us, but please do try to keep up.”
Jimin hears the flick of Yoongi’s switchblade. Then he hears him say, “Please let me fucking kill her,” in that lazy Daegu drawl of his, like forming full words are beneath him. Not worth the effort when they’re directed at you.
Still seated, you uncross your legs and, through blurred vision, Jimin watches you grab Yoongi by his belt loops to tug him closer, grab the wrist that holds his knife and press it to your own throat. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Yoongi. Be a good boy and make it hurt.”
Jungkook’s near hysterics at Jimin’s side. “What the fuck is wrong with you two? He’s dying!”
Jimin tries to say I’m not, Kookie, I’m okay but the pressure on his abdomen is too intense. He can barely breathe, and Hoseok’s still digging around, still looking for that stupid fucking bullet, had to do something and do it quick so there’d been very little anesthetic and finesse, and he’s silently screaming for someone to just comfort Jungkook, tell him everything’s going to be okay, but instead—
“Serves him right for being a fucking idiot,” you say, words muffled by the knife still pressed to your throat. “What a painful, permanentlesson in not forgetting your fucking vest.”
“Stop it!” Jungkook sobs, fingers ghosting along Jimin’s matted fringe.
Yoongi’s still scowling. “Just say the word, Joon-ah. I’ll make it quick.”
You actually laugh at that. The kind of full-belly laugh Jimin would kill to be able to produce. “You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.”
Someone snarls. Probably Yoongi. “You’d look so good gutted on the floor like a fish,” he replies, and if Jimin knows him at all, he knows he’s got that dreamy, faraway look in his eyes. The one he always gets when he’s about to kill—the one that makes him so unhinged and dangerous. “Left there to bleed out and die all alone like the trash you are.”
No one’s survived that look before, but you just grin, as if being on the receiving end of it is nothing more than another simple inconvenience. “Do it, then,” you prompt. “You’re so big and bad, yet here you are, waiting for Namjoon’s permission like some kind of pathetic fucking dog.”
“I’m no one’s dog.”
Your eyes slowly flick over to Namjoon. “No?” you ask, smile widening as Jimin watches you drag your heeled foot up the inside of Yoongi’s calf, his thigh, stiletto coming to rest in the center of his sternum. “That’s a shame, princess. That pretty neck of yours was just made for a collar.”
There’s no doubt in Jimin’s mind now that he actually died back in that penthouse and is now residing in whatever level of hell is watching you give his associate a semi despite him being a millisecond away from murdering you.
Yoongi would do it, too. No hesitation. You’ve been on his shit list for as long as Jimin can remember, and you’ve been daring him to put his money where his mouth is and just kill you already for just as long.
Taehyung groans. “Can you two just fuck already so the rest of us can be spared of this?”
You click your tongue, tone melting like butter. You’re fond of Taehyung, soft on him. “No can do, angel. Yoongi here knows I only have eyes for our Jiminie, and god does that hurt his little feelings.”
Your wicked smile gives away nothing—whether you’re telling a bold truth or just unnecessarily needling Yoongi further—but Jimin’s caught off guard and chokes on your words nonetheless.
Hoseok’s forceps still digging around in his stomach, there’s a quiet hurrah of triumph as he finally locates the bullet. Jimin feels nothing as he retrieves it and plucks it out, a reverberated clank! as he drops it into a kidney dish, your words the anesthetic he’s needed as they play on a loop in his head.
When he finally blacks out, either from the pain or the adrenaline or both, it’s your face that greets him. He never gets the chance to tell you why he forgot his vest.
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[64.1466° N, 21.9426° W | Reykjavík, ICELAND]
Jimin’s hair is blue when it happens the first time.
It’s November. Namjoon has sent the two of you to Reykjavik and it’s dark all the time, the midnight hue of his hair blending into the impenetrable nighttime that surrounds you. Jimin works best like this—out of sight, part of the shadows. He’s light on his feet, lithe in ways no one else is, not even you, and he’s impossible to anticipate under the cover of darkness.
That’s why Jimin always takes care of the appetizers.
It’s your job to clean up the main course.
The two of you are two halves of the same lethal coin, working together flawlessly after years of carefully honed practice. Jimin slams an unsuspecting man’s head into a wall and you’re right behind him to put a bullet in it.
It’s just how it goes.
And he trusts you. He has to, otherwise he would’ve gotten taken out years ago. You’re not always in his line of sight, but he always feels you, senses your movements before you’re even on your feet. The times it’s gone wrong—and it’s gone wrong so many fucking times, despite how cautious and skilled the two of you are—you’re always right there to catch him before he even hits the ground. Just like a ghost, as if your only purpose in life is keeping Jimin safe and alive.
(It isn’t, but it sure feels that way.)
Tonight it’s another hit carried out in an overpriced penthouse overlooking the northern shore. You’re in and out, don’t waste a second more than you need to. Jimin doesn’t spare a glance at the carnage left behind. Nothing he hasn’t seen a hundred times before. All blood bleeds the same, but he still wonders, foolishly, if his looks different to you. If it feels wrong when it stains your hands and seeps into your clothes.
Jimin has never been covered in your blood before, but he likes to think it would.
The two of you don’t speak until you’re in the quiet safety of yet another hotel room, chain lock thrown across the door, deadbolt secured. A small arsenal of weapons is retrieved from ankles and waistbands and cleaned and packed away meticulously. Jimin’s the one who makes the call to Namjoon, tells him in code that the job’s done. You’ve barely broken a sweat, but under the fluorescent light of the bathroom, Jimin can see a small smattering of blood just along your temple when he closes the distance between you.
Someone else’s, of course.
Anyone who made you bleed your own blood wouldn’t be a quick, clean kill. Jimin would make sure of that.
There’s less to be done about the half-inch scar in the hollow of your throat—a pearlescent reminder of the twin scar he has just below his navel; a callback to the day your devilish mouth said the words Jimin can’t stop thinking about.
“No can do, angel. Yoongi here knows I only have eyes for our Jiminie.”
Maybe it’s stupidity. Maybe it’s the feral, years-long build up that’s been simmering between the two of you—low enough to keep warm, contained enough to never evolve into a rapid boil. Maybe Jimin’s just finally desperate enough to go seeking out answers to questions he’s far too scared to put a voice to.
(Really, Jimin knows it’s adrenaline. Nothing more than chemicals. The two of you high on it, heads floating above the clouds. Powerless; or, at the very least, indifferent to stop the very clear path that’s unfolding on the ground below.)
But, god, he needs to know.
Needs answers.
Needs to know if there’s even a chance you feel it, too: the magnetic ebb and flow the two of you have been dancing around for years. If you see how fondly he looks at you. If you have any idea how easy it is for him to get lost in you. If you know he’d let someone put a bullet between his eyes before he placed his life in the hands of anyone else.
Jimin knows he loves you. He’s known it for a long time, just like he knows all those other things that are second nature to him. Loving you is easy and instinctual as much as it is painful and self-destructive.
At least that’s what he’d thought. Until your devilish mouth said those devilish words and sent him into a tailspin he’s yet to recover from.
You have to feel it. God, can’t you? The way the air crackles between you. The way his skin ignites with a simple look from you. The trembling of his fingers at his sides, desperate to just reach out and touch you—fingers that have been bathed in blood, that have taken life. Fingers that now just want to graze softly across your cheekbones, catch on your bottom lip. Fingers that want to hand you the world on a silver platter. Jimin would do anything for you, give you whatever you wanted. You wouldn’t even have to ask.
Can’t you feel that?
He needs to know.
Jimin is composed, elegant. He kills with grace and still maintains as much of his softness as he can. Isn’t ruled by emotion the way Yoongi and Jungkook are. But now, as he teeters on the edge of the unknown, all he wants to do is jump. Wants to buck all his training, all his resolve and forethought, and jump.
“Did you mean it?” he asks, voice thick. Fingers curl into the expensive silk of his shirt just so they have something to do—something to keep them from reaching out and touching you. “Back in Seoul.”
You’re the smartest person Jimin knows. When you ask, “Did I mean what, Chim?” he knows you’re fucking with him. Dragging this out. You know exactly what he’s asking and he knows you’ll never give anything away so easily.
“What you said to Taehyung,” he answers.
You tsk, eyebrows raising in intrigue. As much as Jimin trusts you, as well as you know him, know all those dirty, dirty secrets he’d never tell anyone else, he’s never been so bold with you. “That those long fingers of his would look good wrapped around my throat? Yeah, I meant that.”
Jimin’s jaw clenches at your taunt. “Don’t play games with me.”
A smirk graces your lips. “Trust me, sweetheart,” you say, voice sickly-sweet as the affection starts popping at the last seams holding him together, “if I wanted to play with you, there’s nothing you could do to stop it.”
With Jimin pressed into the wall behind you, you turn to meet his eye in the mirror. Another smile, teeth bared as you run your tongue across your lips, and this one is his undoing. Makes his cock twitch in his dress pants. Makes him bold. “Do you want to, then?” He takes a step forward—close enough to smell the gunpowder stuck to your clothes, your hair. Close enough for the sulfur and metal to sting his nostrils each time he breathes you in. “Do you want to play with me?”
You love Jimin. Maybe it’s a trauma bond or the implicit, unwavering trust the two of you have in one another, but you know you love him limitlessly. But you also know you can’t love him the way he loves you, the way he deserves to be loved by someone, which is why your mask slips as you say, “I can’t give you what you want, Jimin.”
You try to make him understand that. Really, you do—because Jimin is the smartest person you know, and you know he’s thought about every possible consequence down to the most minute detail and has decided this is worth it anyway. You want to believe in something the way Jimin believes in you, even though he’s wrong. You want something worth throwing all of this away for.
Maybe it’s Jimin, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just been so fucking long since someone has looked at you with any gentleness in their eyes at all that when Jimin meets your gaze and says, “I don’t want anything more than you’re willing to give,” you take his hand and jump, too.
And there’s nothing gentle about the first time.
It’s all raw, urgent need, Jimin trying desperately to convince himself it’s more than it is while you convince yourself it’s less.
It’s the two of you finally giving up and giving in, letting yourselves be pulled taut by that invisible string tying you together.
It’s Jimin’s sharp intake of breath when you fully step out of your clothes, the sight rendering him immobile. Whatever plans he’d had before seeing the curves of your body, all the scars from years of working by his side, the mottled yellow-greens and purples from the bruises lining your skin—he has no plans now. Can barely think. Wouldn’t be able to tear his eyes away from you with a gun to his head.
It’s the final bricks of the wall he’d built around himself—around his heart, around all those words and feelings he’d never put a voice to—crumbling into ash at his feet. Now he knows he can’t go back. Can’t return to a reality where this isn’t his truth. Where there’s no you and him, him and you. Where it’s just a physical exchange, a give-and-take, tit for tat.
And god, he knows he shouldn’t think like this; knows he’s keeping the truth buried somewhere deep behind lock and key.
…But now that he knows how it feels to move inside you, what else is he supposed to do?
You’re everywhere. Clenched around him. Your taste on his tongue. The feel of you on the pads of his fingers. The smell of you making a mockery of all logical thought. No—no, he can’t do a goddamn thing to stop the avalanche now it’s started.
“Fuck,” he whines, fingers digging into your hips. The soft skin he finds purchase in such a contrast from your hardened exterior, but Jimin knows. He knows you, knows the person behind the mask, sees straight through you each time it slips.
What stared back at him had always been just out of reach.
Taunting him.
Screaming come and get me, come make me yours, come and fucking take what you want.
Until now.
Now it’s tangible. Now it’s breathy, fractured moans that echo off tile walls. Now it’s the sound of his name thatleaves your lips like a prayer. Now it’s the sheen of sweat that covers both of you. Now it’s nails scraping down his back, tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck.
(And Jimin won’t tell you this, but those red welts are proof that this is real, this happened, and later on when he’s alone, when his mind is working overtime, he’ll look at them and he’ll smile. Because they’re real. Because this happened.)
Now, it’s the way blue becomes his favorite color. Because he can see his reflection in the mirror as he unravels and comes to his own demise as he spills inside of you; can see the fluorescent lights reflecting off the hue of his hair.
Jimin’s hair is blue when he realizes he’s in love with you.
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[34.6037° S, 58.3816° W | Buenos Aires, ARGENTINA]
Jimin is blond when Namjoon sends you to South America.
The details had been scarce: a diplomatic advisor with a rap sheet of human rights violations that have been continuously swept under the rug and his equally-corrupt lawyer. A candid photograph paperclipped to another manila folder, Namjoon a fan of all those old cliches. Likes being a little cheeky that way when he can get away with it, because god knows he can’t get away with much, doesn’t have much of a sense of humor.
It’s a simple job. You and Jimin will have it dealt with in a matter of hours. Less if you’re lucky and the universe is agreeable. But the humidity sticks to your skin, has sweat seeping into your clothes and rolling down your temples, and if there’s one thing you can’t stand it’s the heat. Makes it hard to think. And Namjoon—Namjoon, who makes sure all of his agents want for nothing—is a cheap bastard. Rarely approves nice lodging, says it’s too risky despite your arguments to the contrary, that people don’t care what you do when you have money, so you’re stuck in some shithole motel room with an aircon unit that keeps blowing out stale, warm air.
And maybe you shouldn’t, maybe you should be more cognizant of Jimin and all his feelings, but it’s fucking hot, so you peel your shirt over your head and undo the button of your pants. Sit on the edge of the bed and try to think about anything other than the temperature, how it’s starting to prick uncomfortably at your skin.
Jimin clears his throat, keeps his eyes glued to the disgusting carpet. “Got a text from Seokjin-ssi,” he says, words strained. “Looks like they’ll be solo jobs.”
You groan. Leave it to Seokjin to change the plan at the last minute. “Tell Kim Seokjin he’s a useless piece of shit.”
“Done. Anything else?”
“Tell Kim Namjoon if he ever sends us to South America in the summer again I’ll kill him myself.”
Jimin has a laugh like an anodyne. A laugh that takes all those broken, bleeding parts of you and soothes over them like a balm. “Seokjin-ssi says he’s not passing along that particular message.”
“Tell him he’s a bitch, then.”
“He’ll kill me if I say that.”
“He hasn’t done field work in years and he’s probably too vitamin D deficient to leave the basement. He couldn’t even kill a fucking rat.”
There’s another laugh. More forced, less tinkling. You recognize it right away, the sound of anxiety. Solo jobs aren’t common for the two of you. For Yoongi and Taehyung, sure, but not you and Jimin. You’re a team for a reason, and though you’re more than capable of getting this done and out of the way, it doesn’t feel right. Settles in your gut like something rotten, knowing you’ll be without Jimin.
And you know he’s thinking it, too. How he turns the burner over and over in his hands, as if there’s some combination of words he can send back to Seoul to get Seokjin and Namjoon to reconsider. Plans don’t change often; not like this, anyway. These have been declared solos for a reason, and that’s a thought you can’t linger on too long.
“Are they leaving it up to us?” Jimin nods, still not meeting your eye. “Do you have a preference?”
He shrugs, tossing the phone on the small table in the corner. Nothing else to be done. “Not really. What do you think?”
“Nah, don’t care, either. Just toss me one.”
Santiago Aguirre… 47 years old… Resides in a high-rise luxury apartment in Retiro…
Your eyes skim the file, study the black and white photograph of the lawyer. Read over the list of all his high-profile, degenerate clients and all their high-profile crimes. You read about the previous attempts on his life, the seemingly never-ending list of people who want him dead. Your eyes go back to his photograph, frowning at the smug look on his face. What stares back at you is a man who thinks he’s invincible, who thinks a penthouse apartment on the top floor and a security team in the lobby means he’s impervious to harm. A man who has made money off people just like him: dirty, corrupt, hands stained red.
“Okay?” Jimin asks, looking up from his own file.
He’s so striking. So safe. And you know what he’s done, giving you the hit he thinks is easier, willing to risk himself on a solo mission to ensure you make it out. There’s no guarantees in this line of work, in life in general, but Jimin’s brand of selfless love is certainly one.
So you just nod, knowing someone slimy like this can quickly go sideways, and decide you can do the same.
“I’m gonna get ready,” you say. “The plan is the same as all the other solo jobs. Get in, get it done, get out as quickly as possible. Lay low. Don’t come straight back here.”
Jimin rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “Anything else?”
You exhale. Try to quiet the nerves roiling in your stomach. Barely resist the urge to press a lingering kiss to Jimin’s forehead before you swallow hard and say, “Yeah. Stay alive.”
It comes out more like a plea.
You’re good at your job.
Rarely feel much guilt over it, either, which—well, you’re not sure what that means. That something is permanently broken in your psyche, probably. Being able to take life so easily and without remorse. It’s not natural.
Kim Namjoon is a man who plays God, is the one who decides who gets to live and who has to die. His word is the only law you adhere to. And that’s… that’s something. Makes it less burdensome, takes some weight off, because Kim Namjoon wouldn’t accept a morally-ambiguous job. He wouldn’t ask you to put your life on the line for some petty bullshit.
This is how you’ve lived for the last four years. Four years of blindly following Namjoon’s word, of being a good little soldier and doing whatever is asked of you. Four years of being responsible for not only your own life, but Jimin’s as well, just as he is for yours. Four years that have served you well, all things considered.
Until now.
Something about this job hits you hard. Doesn’t settle quite as quickly as the ones that have come before. For the first time, you’d looked down at the lifeless body at your feet and couldn’t stop the trembling, could barely quell the nausea. Thought what the fuck am I doing, what kind of life is this for the first time. Thought back to that day four years ago when Kim Namjoon saved your life and offered you a job and wondered, for the first time, what would’ve happened if you’d said no.
Now, as you suck on a cigarette, legs dangling off the roof of a building looking not far from collapse, a new thought:
Would Namjoon let you go if you asked?
He’s taken care of you. For four years you’ve wanted for nothing. Have socked away more money than you’ll ever be able to spend, even if you live to a thousand. You could go anywhere, become anyone, and no one would suspect a thing. There’d just be you and a million lifetimes’ worth of transgressions, alone under the weight of all that burden; alone, except for all the ghosts that come to greet you every time you close your eyes.
Doesn’t matter. Namjoon might be willing to let you go, give you the chance to salvage something from this life in the name of normalcy, but Yoongi would gladly put a bullet in your head before he let you disappear with all his secrets.
Doesn’t matter.
You stub out the cigarette and put the butt in your pocket. Make your way down to the street. Stay under the shadows—just visible enough to redirect any suspicion shot your way. You pretend to take a call, flawless Argentinian Spanish falling from your lips as you tell the imaginary person on the other end all about your fucked up day at work. How your manager never gets off your ass, doesn’t trust you, thinks you’re too fucking stupid to run a simple executable.
No one spares you a second glance.
Not here, on this nondescript street in a nondescript Argentinian neighborhood, and not when you stumble into the tiny lobby of your shithole motel. The poor kid behind the desk doesn’t even glance up, just mutters a good evening, miss under his breath that you return in a voice far too high-pitched to be your own.
Better to be seen and be unremarkable than draw attention to yourself trying to stay invisible, you figure.
The cameras in the stairwell are broken so you take the steps two at a time. Pull the room key from its place inside your boot, happy to no longer have it digging into your skin. Pause just long enough to make sure you don’t hear anything on the other side of the door before you’re unlocking it with your free hand wrapped around the trigger of your gun.
It’s empty.
Of course it is.
Jimin stashed the burner in a place no one but you would think to look. You text one simple word to Seokjin—Hey!—and you get two in return: Who’s this?
You know who it is, you fucking dickhead.
It takes a few seconds, but the reply is a simple—
Sorry.
Then you toss aside the phone and float in the darkness of the room. There’s nothing to do but wait, because you don’t dare to do anything alone. There’s sweat and blood and fuck knows what else stuck to your skin, your hair, but you can’t risk taking a shower. Can’t risk the water dampening your senses. Can’t risk being cornered in a moldy bathroom, only one way out. Can’t risk doing anything alone. Can’t take a fucking shower.
It’s this thought, more than anything else, that has your body flushing with rage.
What kind of life is this?
Namjoon had never mentioned repaying your debt. He’d never insinuated you owed him anything at all for saving your life, but you know something like that never comes for free. Namjoon doesn’t do anything just because. Has no goodness in his heart to do anything in the name of it. Watching Jimin nearly die in front of him had been the exception to his usual nature; a rare slip-up by an otherwise detached, uncaring man.
Still, whatever you owe him has surely been repaid by now. Tenfold, if the bloodstains along your collar are anything to go by.
It’s time for Namjoon to let you go.
Something is wrong.
Two hours have ticked by and there’s no word from Jimin. No word from Namjoon or Seokjin, either, which is the only reason you’re still in this nauseating motel room and not out on the streets searching for him. Solo jobs don’t go like this. The two of you are always in and out, tragically efficient. Back to where you started and then back on a plane, nothing left behind except a singular bullet hole and another fragmented piece of your conscience.
You’ve had a lot of jobs go wrong, but never two hours.
You’re about three minutes from coming out of your skin. Sick to your stomach with worry, anxiety weighing you down like an anchor. You wouldn’t be able to go out searching for Jimin like this even if you could, and there’s no point in dwelling on that, examining it further. All you can do is wait.
It’s another hour before you hear the click of the lock. You’re nearly on your knees in relief, but you stay rooted to the flimsy mattress. Try not to think about how you’ll have to sleep on it, even though you’ll be up half the night with residual worry. All those lingering ghosts.
Jimin doesn’t say anything, so neither do you.
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[55.6761° N, 12.5683° E | Copenhagen, DENMARK]
Jimin’s hair is orange when you go to Copenhagen.
Not for a job, just to breathe. You wanted to see the city at Christmastime; Jimin’s never been.
You crack a joke. Point out buildings of similar color, have him stand in front of one as you take a picture. Everyone smiles when they pass the two of you on the street, Jimin’s eyes fond even though he rolls them as you pose him how you want. Still stands against an apricot-colored wall and flashes a smile and a peace sign, cheeks pink from the cold. Does a good job of pretending the two of you aren’t here just for fun, that this is something more.
It’s not.
The two of you fucked in a hotel room in Reykjavik and haven’t spoken a word of it since.
You nearly lost your mind over him in Buenos Aires and haven’t spoken a word of that, either.
Instead, his hand finds yours as the two of you walk around Tivoli Gardens. You marvel at the lights and Jimin marvels at you. You share mulled wine and spiced doughnuts. Jimin tries to drag you on the swings but you plant your feet and refuse, laughing through your refusals. As dangerous as your lives are, motion sickness might be the most. He gets his revenge and poses you in front of a giant nutcracker, then again in front of one of the endless Christmas trees.
Jimin pays for the two of you to decorate honey cakes. You’re surrounded by families with shrieking children and palpable adoration, and it’s all you can do not to wonder if anyone you’ve taken out had ever had something like this. Something that makes your soul warm; something that still lingers in your bones years later.
The two of you take a selfie when it starts to snow. It stings when you have no one to send it to, so it just lives in your phone. Maybe it’s enough.
On another day, Jimin holds your hand through Torvehallerne. This time you marvel at him while he marvels at all the food, eyes wide each time he turns to ask if he should buy something. You always say yes and he always shares, and it’s all you can do not to think about why you don’t have to budget yourselves. Why you’re able to walk through the market and buy whatever you want; how you could buy every item for sale and it wouldn’t make a dent.
(You pick up small trinkets for Taehyung and Jungkook. Not because you want to, but because it feels nicer than remembering that you have no one to buy gifts for. Not really. Not anymore.)
Jimin wants to ice skate, so you do. He holds your hand then, too. More out of necessity than anything else, and he has none of his usual grace. Someone hands you a free cup of hot chocolate, just because. Jimin pouts and then it’s his hot chocolate. It’s all you can do not to kiss away the whipped cream on the corner of his mouth.
Back in your lavish hotel, after countless days have blurred together and Jimin’s fresh from a shower, skin flushed, you finally ask yourself if it’s worth putting up such a fight. If it’s really all that bad to care for Jimin and be cared for in return. If it’s all that bad to be someone else, just for a little while: someone with a normal life who makes a normal living and has a normal capability to love. Someone who isn’t damaged beyond repair.
That will never be you. Not fully, and certainly not in this lifetime, but maybe it could be, a little.
“Jimin,” you say, because you need to try. Jimin loves you in ways you’ll never understand, and you want to be better for him. “We should talk.”
Your voice is small and hesitant, and Jimin hates it. Sees trouble where there’s only vulnerability, so he misreads. Shakes his head. Takes a risk and stands between your legs at the edge of the bed—yours, because there’s two—as he tilts your head back, thumbs pressing into the contours of your cheeks. The scar still sits in the hollow of your throat, and that version of you feels so far away. That life feels so far away.
There’s no violence here. There’s no blood, no fugues. There’s just you and Jimin, whose voice is small like yours when he shakes his head and says, “You should kiss me instead.”
The second time is nothing like the first.
Jimin moves delicately. Feels like silk lace, tastes like spun sugar. Moves both his mouth and his body fluidly, no hesitation, yet he still takes his time. Still pauses to look at you with endless devotion; with awed reverence. Makes a map of your body and marks all his favorite places with his lips.
“Tell me what you want,” he says. Speaks the words against the skin just beneath your ear. “Anything. I’ll give you whatever you want, just have to ask.”
What you want isn’t tangible, isn’t possible, so you stay quiet. Thread your fingers through Jimin’s hair, gasp when he mouths along the column of your throat. Jimin reserves all his softness for you. Bathes you in it. Would kill anyone to keep it that way.
So you say, “Want your mouth,” and let slip a quiet moan when he gives you what you’ve asked for. When he situates himself between your thighs and sucks and licks until you’re writhing, making a mess, grasping fruitlessly at the sheets, his hair, his shoulders, only calming when his hands find yours and your fingers interlock.
Jimin mouths at you until you’re trembling. Until you’re needy and desperate, hips moving on their own, fucking yourself against his face. Until nothing exists except the heat in your belly, the stars behind your eyelids, the heady, fucked-out sound of Jimin’s voice as he talks you through it, murmurs praise against your cunt.
Jimin mouths at you until you forget.
This isn’t your life. This is not something you can have.
But, in the grand scheme of things, what does it matter? You’ve made peace with death, and there’s only one of two ways it’s going to come for you in the end: by Namjoon’s hand or someone else’s. So what does it matter?
This time, Jimin fucks you slow. Kisses you with your taste still in his mouth. Thumbs over a hardened nipple just to see what earns him a reaction, and what you truly want is more time—something else that’s impossible.
Jimin’s hair is orange when you think you might be in love with him.
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[ 48.8566° N, 2.3522° E | Paris, FRANCE ]
Jimin’s hair is pink when—
“Sit,” he says, gesturing to the toilet.
Soaks a washcloth in warm water. Wrings it out. Stands in front of you, and there’s water dripping onto the floor and Jimin doesn’t care, doesn’t seem to see anything in this moment except for you, your hands covered in someone else’s blood, and he reaches out, gently grabs your wrist. Palm up. Someone else’s blood. Everything smells like copper and iron. Looks too surreal beneath the fluorescent lights of this hotel bathroom for your mind to make sense of it.
There is care in the way Jimin cleans your hands. There is tenderness in the way he both refuses to see what you really are and the way he’s the only one to ever see you so entirely, when you look down at the blood he’s washing away and all you can see is stigmata. When all you see is sin.
“I know you don’t love me,” he says, and there is a conviction in his words that stuns you into silence. “Not the way I love you, anyway.”
That tenderness is still there as he says this. As he presses the wet fabric into the meat of your palm, wipes the stains away, and the warmth is as calming as it is undeserved. It feels like something forbidden. It feels like salvation and condemnation all at once, like whatever sick depravity permeates you is contagious, will take over Jimin, too, just from touching you.
Jimin is close enough to reach out and touch. Close enough to see the violence that he exists in alongside you: the rips in his clothes, the scars that decorate his skin. Close enough to know he smells sickly-sweet, just like death. Your hand shakes as it reaches for him and never follows through. Doesn’t want to contaminate him.
“I do,” you finally say. Whatever is in your voice is not conviction. “I can’t.” You suck in a breath, try to steady your breathing. This is where it all comes crashing down, you think, because in all the years you’ve done Namjoon’s bidding, you’ve never cried. You can take life so freely and without thought, but you cannot love Jimin. “Someone like me isn’t capable of it.”
Jimin pauses, the washcloth stuck in the space between your ring and middle fingers. “And who is someone like you?”
Water is still dripping to the floor. Serosanguineous: blood tainting something untouched. Not something one thing or another but both, watery-pink. Looks like Jimin’s hair. “I’ve killed a lot of people,” you answer. “More than I can count. More than I can name. More than the ones that come to haunt me at night.” Your free hand moves to your chest, covers your heart. “There’s nothing here, Jimin. I’m not sure there ever was.”
The washcloth drops to the floor, and all that blood belonging to a man whose name you never bothered to learn before you put a bullet between his eyes finds a new place to rest. “I think,” he begins, clasping your unclean hand in his own, voice dropping to a whisper, “you forget, sometimes.” You gasp as he places your palm to his cheek, drags it across his face, smears a stranger’s blood across his skin. “That we’re the same.”
Jimin is always overwhelming, but the love he has for you is even more so. It consumes you entirely, embeds itself beneath your skin, makes a home, would tear you apart, body and soul, to return to him.
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[ 47.4979° N, 19.0402° E | Budapest, HUNGARY ]
Jimin’s hair is lavender when it all goes to shit.
“You’re being followed.”
Seokjin’s voice is garbled through the earpiece, tinny and metallic, and you roll your eyes. Some things don’t need to be said, because you’ve known someone was following you for the last three blocks. Average height, black peacoat, close-cropped haircut. Not the kind of person that’d stand out here, and that’s exactly why you’d sent Jimin in the other direction.
“No shit,” you respond in Hungarian, because you already know the man following you doesn’t speak or understand it. “Give me somewhere to go.”
It takes Seokjin a few moments to run the translation. “There’s a side street up on your right,” he answers. “It’s tight, but there’s an alleyway at the end. You can buy some time if you’re quick.”
“Where’s Jimin?”
You pass a vendor selling lángos and duck into the street behind the stall. Just as Seokjin had said, there’s a small alleyway up on the left, and your footfall is near-silent as you break into a sprint to reach it. “Safe,” is all Seokjin says.
You take a second to steady your breathing, knowing you’re good on time—the man following you was close enough to know where you’d turned, but, if you’re lucky, not much after that. That plays on a loop: if you’re lucky, if you’re lucky, if you’re lucky. What is luck, what does it look like, in a life left entirely to chance? In a life with no guarantees?
You tuck yourself away, focus on Seokjin’s metallic breaths. Think about his basement in Seoul, why he’s in it. Ask, “What happened in Addis Ababa?” because it feels important to know.
There’s not much you know about Seokjin’s life. Whatever happened in Ethiopia had been before your time, reduced to hushed whispers and gossip fodder after your arrival. No one spoke of it, Seokjin especially, but every now and then something would slip in the same way weeds grow in sidewalk cracks.
A job gone wrong. A bombing at the consulate with Seokjin inside.
His reply is simple, words spoken carefully: “I loved someone once, too.”
He can’t see it, but you nod nonetheless; an answer that doesn’t require a response, because you know. It’s enough to fill in the rest. What Seokjin’s trauma looks like. Why he doesn’t do field work anymore. Why he prefers the solitude of the basement, rarely a sound beyond the electric thrum of the server racks.
Who had gone in to retrieve him, and why Yoongi has the scar over his eye.
“You loved someone,” you conclude, “and he would’ve been willing to die for you.”
“Yes,” Seokjin says, and it’s like the word’s been punched out of him. Sounds like something repressed, something left to rot in the darkest corner of the world.
Love, to Seokjin, looks and sounds the same as death.
“I think most people spend their entire lives searching for a love like that,” he continues, and if you could see him you think he might look dazed, off-kilter. You think he might be an avatar. Seokjin is prying his ribcage apart, unwrapping the barbed wire from his heart, saying I once was in love and this is all I know of it. “But, to me, in this life, it’s a prison. Once someone is willing to die for you, how do you keep them alive? How do you—I kissed that skin. I worshiped it. I pressed my lips to it with whatever softness was left in me. How do you look at that same skin and know you’re the reason it’s mangled?” He exhales, all tremor. “You can’t. You can’t.”
You know this all too well. You know what it feels like to look at Jimin and know, intrinsically and subconsciously, that you wouldn’t even hesitate. You’d take and give life to keep him alive and safe. You know that when you exit this world at someone else’s hand his face is the last thing you want to see.
You know it’s a liability.
You know it’s a target painted on your back. Between your eyes.
You know there’s nothing left to say, that this particular conversation has run its course. The two of you sit in an amicable silence, and you hope Seokjin can hear the life that surrounds you, however mundane. Hope he can hear the lángos vendor trying to hawk his goods; hope he can hear a city 8,000 kilometers away; hope he can hear these regular, everyday people going about their lives and remember there’s hope beyond his four walls.
I think you’d like it here, you think, but you don’t dare to say it aloud.
Time passes in a meaningless blur. Could be minutes, could be hours. No one’s come to kill you, so you reckon you’ve long since been in the clear. And maybe it speaks to Seokjin’s idea that love is a prison, because you know something’s happened to Jimin long before Seokjin speaks it into existence.
You’re up and out of the alleyway before you’re told to move. Have no idea where you’re going, but you’re racing through the streets of Budapest with a panic you haven’t ever felt in your life. Feels like quicksand; feels like molasses; feels like you have to wade through all the blood you’ve spilled, now congealed, to get to him.
“Where am I going?” you demand. Your lungs are on fire. In the split-second of silence it becomes a desperate scream. “Seokjin, tell me where the fuck I’m going!”
“The—fuck, the wa-warehouse up on your right.” You can’t think about why he’s crying. “I don’t—I don’t know wha-what’s there, you need to be careful. Please, you have to—”
Twenty seconds and you’ll be there, you’ll be with Jimin, you just need to keep running. You need to keep your head on straight. Remember your training. Remember you’ve built a life in a viper pit.
A man in a uniform is unloading a shipment around the back of the building. Faces away from you, bent at the waist. Takes very little effort to smash his head into the stone exterior and knock him unconscious, pocket his badge. You can’t get stupid now. Tell Seokjin to make sure all the cameras are cut, ask what floor when you shut yourself inside the freight elevator, unwilling to take the stairs and run into anyone who might be waiting. All the way to the top, he says, so all the way to the top you go.
Over the course of your life, you’ve made peace with death. Have stared it in the eye more times than you can count. Have dealt it out, evaded it, shook its hand.
You are wholly unprepared for the sight that greets you.
Red. Everything is red—the walls, the floor, what used to be a beautiful parquet pattern in the wood. In the center of the room: two bodies, maybe three. Not much that’d be able to identify them beyond a pile of teeth, no saying whose is whose. Slaughterhouse scraps.
And this is not—Jimin doesn’t work this way. Isn’t his MO. Jimin’s kills are elegant and neat, topped with a bow. What you see before you is ultraviolence. It is unhinged, it is fury, it is a complete loss of control. It’s what love looks like to Jimin, because he sits at the very edge of a rotted chair, legs crossed. Face streaked with blood, clothes covered in it.
“Jimin,” you say, because what else is there?
He tilts his head to the side, smirks a little, looks at you beneath his lashes. Eyes that used to find you across a room and calm you. Eyes that have locked onto you in the throes of pleasure. Eyes you’ve seen yourself reflected in, bathed in love and adoration.
Eyes that now contain nothing.
“Jimin, what the fuck happened?”
He removes his gloves with his teeth and doesn’t flinch away from the taste of iron. “They said they hurt you,” he states simply, “so I did what needed to be done.”
“What—” Nausea claws at your throat; for the first time, it’s all too much. This isn’t Jimin. This isn’t your Jimin, who smiled as you posed him against apricot walls in Copenhagen, who took a bullet to the stomach to protect you and never, ever told you. This is not the Jimin who wasted the last of his goodwill on loving you. “What did you do?” you whisper.
He rises to full height and it makes you flinch. You are scared of Jimin for the first time in your life: scared of who he is in this moment, what he’s capable of. And he sees it, lets that brand of anguish overtake him. Reaches for you before he decides against it and lets his hand drop to his side. Says, “I would never hurt you,” as if the words could brand themselves into your skin so you’d never forget.
“No, you’d just—” You squeeze your eyes shut. Don’t think about how one of the men nearly embedded into the floor was the one trailing you earlier.
Instead, you think about Seokjin: Once someone is willing to die for you, how do you keep them alive? You think about: How do you look at that same skin and know you’re the reason it’s mangled? You think about: In this life, it’s a prison.
You drop to your knees. Let the blood seep through your clothes and into your skin, undeserving of shying away from it.
Namjoon should’ve let you go.
You think about the men in front of you. Who they were, who they loved. The grief all of this is going to leave behind, and it becomes impossible to breathe. You grasp at your throat, think about all the times you’ve been strangled and who’d been there to cut the rope. There is no limit to Jimin’s devotion, and you understand now, how it drove Yoongi to madness. How he loved someone so much he would’ve retrieved their corpse from a building and how that same person can no longer bear to look at the damage they’d caused.
“This isn’t love, Jimin,” you choke out.
He stands in front of you. Stigmata. You’re worshiping at the altar of some kind of devil. At least his hands are clean when he places his fingers beneath your chin, forces you to look up at him. “What is it, then?”
“Destruction.”
A quiet huff of cruel laughter. “See, this is the difference between me and you, darling.” He takes back his hand, runs it through his blood-streaked hair, and your chin sags to your chest without his support. “Because I already knew that. Because I have destroyed myself every single day loving you.” He squats down, eye-level, and he says, “I need you to listen to me when I say this, sweetheart: you do not love me the way I love you, because I would do worse. When it comes to you, there is nothing on this earth I would not destroy to keep you safe.”
He clears his throat. Collects whatever’s in his mouth and spits onto one of the bodies. “If this is enough to have you tucking your fucking tail between your legs, then go, because this doesn’t even scratch the fucking surface.”
You can’t bring yourself to say anything, and sometimes that says it all.
Jimin presses a kiss to the top of your head. Makes a call. Cleaners will be here soon, he says, better get going.
You watch him go.
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[ 37.5665° N, 126.9780° E | Seoul, SOUTH KOREA ]
Jimin’s hair is black when Namjoon calls the meeting.
He takes the seat across from Namjoon’s desk because they don’t meet like this often. Assignments are usually manila folders slipped under doors, hushed whispers in hallways confirmed with a nod or a text on a burner phone. Assignments are not last-minute assemblies in conference rooms and offices.
But the way Namjoon is looking at him, with his clenched jaw and a gaze that’s meant to look barbed to anyone who doesn’t actually know him—Jimin doesn’t need to ask what this is about.
Had he bothered to look, he would’ve known by the way you stood in the far corner of the room, face obscured by the mid-afternoon shadows. Yoongi’s close to you, for some reason: dressed head to toe in black, perched on a lateral file cabinet, using a metal corner to sharpen his switchblade. Just like a harbinger of death. Some sort of fucked up omen, a warning that’s come too late.
Didn’t I tell you this would end badly, he hears Yoongi taunt in his head. This is what happens when you lay with trash.
Easy for Yoongi to say when he doesn’t know what it means to be cared for by you. Doesn’t know how it feels to give in to the freefall and plummet at your feet, stripped back and laid bare. Doesn’t know how it feels to kiss secrets into your skin like constellations, to map his tongue along every unspoken confession.
Easy for Yoongi to say, because he doesn’t have to survive the aftermath. Doesn’t have to feel the heartbreak, the agony of having you and watching as you slip through his fingers. Yoongi doesn’t have to struggle just to breathe, doesn’t have to endure the nights staring at the ceiling, watching as the daylight creeps into the corners of his vision. Doesn’t have to watch you looking so unaffected.
“Jimin.” Namjoon’s tone is flat, needlelike.
Behind him, Yoongi chuckles lowly. “What?” Jimin asks, his gaze trained on the painting behind Namjoon’s head. Looks like one he’d seen in Berlin, the time the two of you had gone just because and spent an afternoon ducking in and out of museums to escape the rain.
When he closes his eyes, he still sees the raindrops stuck to your eyelashes. The beads of water rolling off the sleeves of your leather jacket. How blinding your smile had been. The laughter in your voice as you ordered beer after beer after beer for the two of you in flawless Berlinisch. A brief, fleeting glimpse at normalcy. At the kind of life the two of you could have if you were just… different. Lived different lives. Were different people.
“You’ve gotten sloppy.”
Namjoon’s words are a cold bucket of water. Snap him back to reality, yank him back to the present where he’s forced to leave those river-lined streets behind. You’re silent and Yoongi’s still snorting laughter. “Okay,” is all Jimin can bring himself to say.
Jin had gotten sloppy once, too, and Namjoon stuck him down in the basement to work logistics. Might not be so bad, Jimin reckons. He’d be away from you, spared of this fucking misery. “So you know that’s unacceptable.”
Jimin just shrugs, resigned to his fate, whatever it may be. “I’m reassigning the both of you,” Namjoon continues. “You’ll both have new partners for your next assignments, since you clearly can no longer be trusted together.”
“Who?” Jimin manages to choke out.
Namjoon raises an eyebrow, clearly having expected an argument. “You’re being sent to Shanghai with Jungkook. You,” he says, turning his attention to you, “are going to Moscow with Taehyung.”
She’s fond of Taehyung, Jimin wants to say. But you’d been fond of him too, once upon a time, and that’d only ended in heartbreak, so who fucking cares.
They’re cruel, the tricks Jimin’s mind plays on him. How he convinces himself you look pained. How his fingers wring together at the thought of entrusting his life in the hands of someone else, someone new. At your life being just as at stake; at Taehyung being tasked with keeping you alive. Would you die for him, too, the way you’d always told Jimin you would for him? Would Taehyung take a bullet to the stomach to keep you safe the way Jimin had?
Even more cruel is the way you scoff, pushing yourself off of the wall as you fold your arms across your chest and say, “That’s bullshit, Kim Namjoon.”
No one talks to Namjoon that way except you.
Yoongi’s knife stops twirling. Just like a bird sensing a storm, senses on high-alert as he flicks his gaze over to you. “I’m sorry?” Namjoon says. “What part of Jimin losing his mind and nearly outing all of us seems like bullshit to you?”
“Hm, let me think,” you retort, a manicured finger tapping against the hollow of your cheek. “The part where you’re reassigning me for someone else’s mistake?”
Which part was the mistake? Jimin wants to ask. Needs to know how much you regret. Was sleeping with you the mistake? Falling in love with you? Getting too caught up in all these daydreams and letting reality get away from him?
“This organization is more important than Park Jimin getting his goddamn dick wet,” Namjoon snaps. “Keeping all of you safe—keeping you alive—is more—”
You scoff. Take an entire container of gasoline and pour it right on top of Namjoon’s flammable ire. “Then perhaps you’d be so kind as to explain to me why Min fucking Yoongi can fuck damn near everyone in this establishment, yet I have to sit here and listen to your goddamn mouth—”
Jimin doesn’t think Yoongi even knows his arm is moving.
There’d just been the trading of barbed words. His own name being spoken into the ether. Yoongi’s arm moving away from his body, switchblade clasped tightly between his fingers as he plunges it into your flesh.
Jimin watches it puncture your arm in slow motion. Feels the bile in his throat, the heat in his belly. Looks first at Namjoon whose jaw has gone slack, skin pale, as he stammers over words that won’t come. Then he looks at Yoongi—expects to find shock or guilt but finds only a muted disinterest and flared nostrils.
Finally, he looks at you. Watches the white cotton sleeve of your shirt slowly turn red and sticky-wet. Watches as your lips move around syllables and vowels and consonants Jimin can’t decipher.
“—fucking piece of shit, this is my favorite shirt! I’ll never get all this goddamn blood out of it—”
Jimin thinks he hears Yoongi say you deserve it. But Jimin isn’t really thinking much as he clambers out of his chair and moves in Yoongi’s direction. Doesn’t think at all as he lets instinct take over, lets adrenaline steer him headfirst into yet another bad idea.
He’s always known there’d come a day he’d be face-to-face with the sight of your blood. Had always known it’d come from someone else’s hand. Had always promised himself that hurting you would be the last thing anyone ever did.
Jimin has his fingers wrapped around Yoongi’s throat and he finally understands it—the joy Yoongi finds in taking life.
“What’s the matter, Jimin-ah?” Yoongi taunts. Jimin tightens his grip. Suddenly hates that fucking scar across Yoongi’s eye. “You’re never on clean-up duty. Always make your girlfriend do the dirty work. Finally grew some fucking balls, huh?”
“Fuck you,” Jimin says stupidly. Can’t think of anything more to say. Not that he needs to. Wrapping your hands around someone’s throat sends enough of a message, he thinks.
Namjoon’s still tongue-tied as you yank Yoongi’s blade from your arm, immediately pressing your other hand over the wound to stem the bleeding. The sight of your blood is making Jimin dizzy; the smell of the iron hanging in the air. All he wants to do is choke the life out of the man in front of him, but more than that, he just wants to hold your hand. Wants to comfort you, even though he knows you don’t need it. Not from him, not from anyone, but he still wants to. Wants to press his lips to the sweat at your brow.
And Yoongi can see it, too, because he starts laughing. It’s an odd, fractured noise. Jimin isn’t sure if he’s ever heard him laugh before, decides he also hates the way it sounds. Feels all wrong watching it leave his crooked smirk. Makes Jimin’s stomach plummet to the ground.
“Oh, you’re fucked, aren’t you?” Yoongi teases around Jimin’s slackened grip. “You weren’t just fucking her, you’re in love with her.”
Weird how Jimin is the one with his hands around someone’s neck and feels like he’s the one suffocating.
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[ 31.2304° N, 121.4737° E | Shanghai, CHINA ]
Jimin watches the life drain from an innocent woman’s face and feels nothing.
Jimin watches Jungkook cut a man down and feels even less.
When it’s over, he cleans up wordlessly and doesn’t eat for three days.
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[ 37.5665° N, 126.9780° E | Seoul, SOUTH KOREA ]
Jimin’s hair has faded to brown by the time he returns from Shanghai.
The more complicated job had gone to you and Taehyung. Jimin had tried not to take it personally. The Russian hits are always unnecessarily violent and Jungkook still isn’t fully trained. There’s still a phantom pain in Jimin’s stomach that warns him of the consequences of taking on more than he can chew. So, sure, Shanghai had gone fine, but his mind had been nearly 7,000 kilometers away the entire time.
Good thing he’d returned to Seoul unscathed, too, because he’s sure Namjoon would’ve eliminated him without a moment’s hesitation if he’d fucked up again.
But Shanghai had only served to prove the leader right. Jimin can’t work with you anymore. Can’t focus, can’t stomach the violence, can’t keep his goddamn head on straight.
He sighs as he glances at Jungkook to his right. Jimin had watched him murder two men in cold blood not even thirty-six hours ago and now he’s doe-eyed and sucking down his third banana milk of the morning. It really makes his head spin, being paired with this grown-up infant of a man now instead of you, but for all of Jungkook’s apparent shortcomings, he’d kept Jimin alive. He isn’t dead.
And then you walk in with Taehyung and he wishes he was.
Because you’re laughing and Taehyung’s got his arm slung around your shoulder and you look happy. It’s the kind of happiness that should be contagious, bloom warmth in his chest, but it doesn’t. It just takes the last frayed strand of hope he has and sets flame to it.
You don’t look like you miss Jimin at all. Don’t look like you’ve lost sleep or skipped meals.
“Didn’t take you long, did it?” Jimin says, because he’s wounded and lashing out. Not because he means it.
You must know he doesn’t, too, because you don’t react. “Watch your mouth, Park Jimin,” Taehyung warns, because he doesn’t know, and this only sets Jimin off more. You don’t need defending. Or had you, and Jimin had simply thought it wasn’t his place to provide it? That you wouldn’t want it?
“Or what, Kim Taehyung?”
Taehyung is cherubic. It’s part of his charm, one of many reasons why he’s so effective. If you’re looking to die, you look for the guy who looks like Yoongi, not the one who smiles wide and warm like Taehyung. So when he sets his jaw and pokes his tongue into his cheek and says, “Or I’ll cut your fucking head off, you stupid fuck,” your attention is finally piqued.
“I’m so sick of this,” Jungkook wails, banana milk tossed carelessly in the trash. “All of you need to get your fucking shit together!”
Taehyung rolls his eyes at the same time you pretend to inspect your nails. “Is that why you’re so temperamental, Chim?” Taehyung prods, looking every bit the pretentious, murderous angel he is. “Because you got sent to China on a babysitting mission while the grownups did real work?”
“Fuck you,” Jungkook snaps, rising to full height. “I’m not a fucking child.”
“Oh? Could’ve fooled me.” Taehyung’s words are razor-sharp and smell like kerosene. “Tell me, then: were you on babysitting duty? Had to look after our precious little Jiminie while he nursed his broken heart?”
You sigh, full of faux-exasperation, and place a gentle hand on Taehyung’s forearm. Dig your nails in just enough to be a warning, and if Jimin hadn’t been looking he’d miss it: the way Taehyung deflates instantly, anger dissipating like smoke, back in control. Just because you’d touched him. Just because you were there. Jimin knows that touch, how it feels to be under your control, and it makes his chest ache. Makes everything feel like it’s sitting wrong in his stomach, and he’s either going to be sick all over Namjoon’s overpriced fucking rug or wrap his hands around Taehyung’s throat the way he’d done to Yoongi.
He’s out of his goddamned mind; he feels untethered. Helpless. Like it was always going to end like this, and maybe Jimin knew that and had just ignored it. Maybe now he’s paying the price—maybe he’s finally found something he can’t afford.
Jungkook’s still going off, nasty gaze set on Taehyung because he’s the only one playing along. They’re exchanging words Jimin can’t make heads nor tails of. Words he doesn’t care about. Words that ring empty and hollow because they sound nothing like the way you say his name. Shapeless, unlike the way your lips move around those syllables.
“Jimin,” you say, the sound finally registering and bringing him back down to earth. All he can do is stare. “Can we talk?” Taehyung and Jungkook are still trading barbs.
Wonders how he got here. Looks around the room and wonders if each and every one of them is destined for this same fate, this madness. Wants to tell you why he forgot his vest, why he was three hours late in Argentina. Wants to grovel and beg and leave this place and never look back.
More than anything, he wants to know what it feels like to actually be human.
So he shakes his head. Tries not to be haunted by the way your face falls at the rejection.
There is a scar on his abdomen and a scar on your arm that both tell the same story. There is a man in the basement who is in love with a man above ground and is too weighed down by guilt to do anything about it. There is a man here who plays god, has soldiers to do his bidding, and there is very little here that Jimin has only for himself.
The two of you will have that conversation, but he needs to be human, first.
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[ 34.6901° N, 135.1956° E | Kobe, JAPAN ]
This is a waste of your fucking time.
Whatever Namjoon had thought would be here doesn’t seem to exist. Yoongi can barely tolerate you on a good day, threatens to stick a dagger in your neck at least twice an hour, but the more time the two of you waste chasing ghosts, the closer he comes to unraveling entirely.
“Stop fucking staring at me,” he snaps, blowing the smoke of his cigarette right in your face.
You tut. “But you’re so beautiful, Yoongi, I just can’t help it.”
He digs his switchblade from his boot. Makes a show of flipping it open. “I can cut your fuckin’ eyes out of your skull,” he intones. “Maybe that’ll help.”
In your ear, Jimin’s laughter rings like crystal.
Ricochets off of all the corners of Seokjin’s basement, makes the echo sound warped through the earpiece. “Please tell Yoongi-ssi to keep an eye on the man with the shaved head. In front of him, roughly sixty degrees to his right.”
You relay the message. Watch as Yoongi transforms—sharpened gaze, rigid posture, disappears into the shadows. More apex predator than man. “And me?” you ask.
“Backup,” comes Seokjin’s voice. “We haven’t found your mark yet.”
You hum. Pick up the cigarette Yoongi left behind and stick it between your lips. Smoke it nearly to the filter. “You got it, boss,” you tease, just because it flusters him.
“I’m—that’s not—knock it off.”
Exhale. Stub out the cigarette. Butt in your pocket. “Anything else?”
“Yeah,” Jimin says, and his voice is soft, sounds like spun sugar. “Stay alive, all right?”
Jimin’s hair isn’t dyed at all.
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if you've read this far: thank you so, so much! i am more appreciative than i can put into words. this is very different from what i typically write, but i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.
i would love to hear your thoughts if you have any. &lt;3
385 notes · View notes
aenokiawrld · 5 months
Text
𝒵𝑜𝑜 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒! Ft. Monster trio + Law
a/n: i’m new to posting so no judging pwety pwease. also i wrote this super late at night 🙏
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─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───
18+!! MINORS DNI
masterlist
─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───
cw: mentions of short reader, all of the guys except law-ish sound like they’re on crack, lots of wrestling, cheesy asf, is this what u do at a zoo?!
tags ✮⋆˙
fluff but mostly humorous, literal chaos, a bit ooc(?), tried to make it gender inclusive, found this prompt through pinterest lol
zoro
when you brought up the idea of going to the zoo, warned him beforehand about the “look but don’t touch” rule
you didn’t want him to see the zoo as a training arena
first suggested that yall go to the beach instead but u declined it saying, “it was too cliche”
he would never admit it but he’s silently insecure whenever he sees you get along well with the animals (whenever he smiles at them, they run away)
a small smile creeps up at the corner of his lips as he watches you gawk at the aquatic animals section
you call the seals, “sea puppies.” he just calls them “water dogs”
purposefully makes eye contact with gorillas to rile them up (he tried to ask the zookeeper to let him inside the enclosure so he can fight them to which you slap him in the back of the head for)
gorillas see eye contact as a challenge to fight
there was an event that happened where the penguins would dive and twirl underwater to impress you
zoro threatened them by claiming that he’ll ask sanji to turn them into “penguin kabobs” if they didn’t stop flirting with his gf (they got scared and ran back to their zookeeper)
attempted to smile at the otters but got scared and swam away
got lost one time and accidentally landed in the chimpanzee enclosure. you couldn’t help but laugh as the keeper got mad at him for beating up the chimpanzees bc they “gave him the stink eye”
the crew made fun of him after coming back from the zoo with a bald patch at the back of his head.
a giraffe thought his hair was grass and you had to pull him away just so he wouldn’t be tempted to use his swords on them
got both of you guys got kicked out after he tried impressing you by using three sword style on a polar bear
luffy
like zoro, u also warned him about the “look don’t touch” rule
like a kid on sugar, luffy got excited as he became enamored with the (in his own words), “big buff animals”
kept asking you which of these animals would make a delicious meal
would point at the monkeys and go, “look, it’s me!”
for the love of god, the rubber boy would not stop cracking up at the baboons and calling them “apple butts”
randomly asked you if you would find him more attractive if he was an actual monkey
he genuinely believed you when you joked about rhinos being “dinosaurs”
“NO WAY!! I THOUGHT THEY WERE EXTINCT!”
“i was jok-“
“WAIT TILL I TELL ROBIN ABOUT THIS! SHE'S GONNA BE SO JEALOUS WHEN SHE FINDS OUT THAT I DISCOVERED DINOSAURS BEFORE HER!”
he kept stretching his face and making monkey noises at the monkeys
(they looked at him with disinterest)
he thought it would be a good idea to wrestle a bear. you got mad at him after he knocked it out with his “gum-gum pistol”
he cried at the sight of the otters because he said that it reminded him of alabasta and that alabasta reminds him of vivi
he asked the giraffes if they were related to kaku and then panicked bc he “thought he was racist” for asking that
“[name], does this mean I'm not woke :(“
you got mad at him after he decided it would be a good idea to put his head inside the mouth of a hippo. the zookeeper almost fainted as the hippo bit down on his head but you assured them that his devil fruit powers would prevent him from dying that easily
you honestly contemplated your relationship with your captain/boyfriend but his stupidity is what makes him charming (to you at least)
he kept asking the zookeepers if he can keep the boa constrictor as a pet
along with wanting a snake as a pet, he kept asking the lions if they could join his crew
got emotional at the sight of leopards bc they reminded him of pedro
like zoro, he got both of yall kicked out after he tried smuggling a lion out of the cage and named it “sun destroyer 4000”
you were more surprised at the fact that you guys didn’t get kicked out earlier
sanji
“[name], my dear, how would you feel if i took you out on a date to a place of your choice?”
“well there is one place i’ve been wanting to go to for awhile.”
maybe going to the zoo with sanji was a mistake, the flirty blonde boy would not stop comparing you to every “cute” animal he saw
for long hair: it didn’t help that he purposefully braided your hair and tied them up to look like bear ears which you look even cuter in his eyes (my headcanon is that sanji knows how to braid hair hehe)
he found it cute that you saw a bunch of reindeers and called them “a family of choppers”
if there was a big crowd of people surrounding an exhibit and you couldn’t see, he would use his height to his advantage by lifting you up to get a good view of the animals
after getting down you were wondering why his nose was bleeding until you realized he had a good view under your skirt
if you’re wearing pants, he just nose bled at the sight of your gyat
you joked with him saying that you would find it hot if he wrestled an ostrich. but sanji being sanji, took it literal and actually did it
the zookeeper yelled at him after the ostrich was left unconscious
flirtatiously asked if you would still find him attractive even if he was an animal
“no, sanji, that would be beastiality.”
felt his whole face heat up after you put on matching ear headbands with him
in response, he tried to buy out the whole gift shop
tried to convince you into buying “i’m his, im hers” shirts but you told him it was cringe which hurt his ego
for gn! readers, bro tried to buy those “im cool, im cooler shirts” cause he a lil cheesy
when you became enamored with the snake exhibit he tried to flex saying, “you wouldn’t have to worry about a snake swallowing you bc i would be there to protect you, my dear”
you compared him to a ram bc you saw him as courageous and determined for his crew
“[NAME] SWANNN, YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT OUT OF THE BLUE!” there goes your man…
almost nose bled AGAIN at the thought of you as a red panda while visiting the exhibit (you thought he was tweakin)
got jealous when you said tigers were just as cool as zoro
he compared zoro to a baboon bc he’s always scratching his ass and sniffing his hand after (wait why is this lowk a good headcanon 😝)
you found it adorable as you watched him feed the animals in the petting zoo as if he were their father
he freaked out as the goat stole the cigarette out of his mouth and ate it in front of him.
one of your fave moments of intimacy with sanji would be sharing cotton candy with him as you watched the penguins do tricks in the water
after getting back on the sunny, you decided to surprise him with a ram plushie you bought behind his back
he thanked you by peppering your face in kisses and showering you in praises
“oh my dear, [name]. you don’t need to spoil me like that! it should be the other way around!”
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bonus!! trafalgar law
law asked his crew beforehand on “great date spots” to take you out on; to which penguin suggested yall go to the zoo
he never cared for the zoo but as long as you were happy he didn’t mind
got flustered after you mentioned that snow leopards reminded you of him
he bought you a snow leopard plush and you named it “traffy”
you asked him if you should buy souvenirs for the crew
you asked him if you could adopt a polar bear so that bepo would have a friend. he replied with, “no bc he’s already friends with me”
thought it would be funny to teleport you to the lion enclosure until his powers conveniently started tweaking and he couldn’t teleport you back out
you punched him in the head after you came back with scratches from wrestling them
he felt bad for the joke he did on u, so he teleported you to the capybara enclosure as an apology
compared you to a meerkat bc “you’re short but really fast on those legs.” you responded by threatening to give his sword away to zoro
made fun of you after you got startled by him in the insect section. he laughed as you slapped his hand after he pretended it was a tarantula
he likes to install fear into u by explaining different ways each animal can kill you
he would purposefullykiss you in front of the monkeys after they tried flirting with you
the zookeeper had to tell him to stop bc they were afraid that they would break out their enclosure
what pissed him off even more was the fact it reminded him of the rubber boy
after you guys get back to the submarine, the crew crowded you as you gave them their souvenirs. law couldn’t help but smile at your generosity and friendship with everyone
oh yea….he felt himself fall in-love with you again
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bearw-me · 5 months
Note
Hiiii!!! Would you mind doing headcannons / a fanfic where Husk has a crush on the reader and one day they ask him if they could cover being a bartender for a while to give him a small break (and to chat with Angel Dust and Cherri Bomb bc they are sitting at the bar too) and he agrees, not thinking that they would actually be able to make any drink or anything, but they actually end up being a phenomenal bartender (yet has never told or shown anyone until now), and it make him flustered as he has an even bigger crush on them now (which he thought was literally impossible). Thank youuuu!!!! 💖💖💖 (Also I love ur work 💖✨)
I cant describe in words how your request made me feel lmao! and thank you so much! ( i could talk about this dynamic all day ♡♡♡
𝐀 𝐅𝐞𝐰 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐔𝐩 𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞
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𐐒 includes : husk x gender neutral! reader, cherri bomb, angel dust 𐐒 cw : drinking/mentions of drinking, swearing, fluff, mutual pining, reader and husk are flirting so hard smh 𐐒 summary : Husk could use a break from the bar, so you offer to take up the job for the rest of the night! 𐐒 word count : 1.7 k 𐐒 note : ah, husk + his drinks (guys! husk! with a bartender! is!) my heart is liquid now
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The night sure was lively now that Angel Dust and Cherri Bomb came (literally) crashing through the front door.
You smiled, resting your head in your hands as you watched the two from the end of the bar. "Those two must be a handful for you," you teased, letting your eyes flit over to the grumpy old cat you adored.
He managed a smile, glancing over at the two who were downing shots like tomorrow didn't exist. "Yes they are," he mumbled.
"So why'd you come over here Whiskers? You know I'm still working on my drink."
"You know I gotta keep my customer's satisfied," his voice teased back- just as smooth as the whiskey he poured- how charming, you thought. "Can't leave you here all by yourself."
You nodded, feeling a blush creep over the tips of your ears and nose.
Although, you couldn't help but notice. . .
Husk, the charming gambling cat who bartended for the hotel, a cat you could've sworn- or hoped- wanted your attention most nights. . . stared at the pair across the bars edge with a tired eye.
You quietly followed his gaze, humming as you pondered the next move.
"Why don't you pour yourself a drink? On me," you slid your card over the polished wood, only to be stopped as soon as it hit the edge of the bar. Husk's fingers pushing gently against yours.
"It's bad luck for a bartender to drink on the job."
"Is that so? Sounds like superstition," you teased, sadly tucking the card into your pocket.
Doesn't usually stop him from doing it, you moped.
"Hey baby! You can buy me a drink, no strings of course!" Angel called over to you, bringing shameless attention to his chest and biting his lip.
The bar laughed with him, spirits deliciously high tonight now that the couple had joined.
You were glad for the change of pace, "You know what?" You pulled the card out again, raising three fingers so that Husk knew how much to pour "I will buy you that drink Angel."
Cherri and Angel celebrated by downing a shot each, the young overlord herself yelling into the air with glee at the score.
Your gaze lingered over to the two, the sounds of vodka and juice being poured next to you. "Husk?" you asked, not really turning to look at him.
"What's on your mind?"
You waited until the sounds of pouring stopped, little freckles of juice sticking to your hand. . . then you turned to him, a little unsure in what you were asking "This drinks for you."
With a gentle hand, you tried to stop him from sliding it over to you, and responded just as fast as his denial "Let me run the bar for the rest of the night!"
His confusion morphed into the classic doubtful Husk you knew: always keeping his guard up.
"Oh really," he rasped, leaning over the bar to hover right next to your face.
Maybe he was trying to intimidate you, or try to see through you. . . but you tried not to flinch at the challenge, watching his dark eyes narrow "And what do you get out of this?"
You shrugged, a dumb smile popping onto your lips "Time to sober up? How hard could it be?" you purred, relishing in the fact that Husk had recoiled from you.
Sitting across the bar, head cradled in your hands, smirking at him.
He sighed, letting his eyes roll "Alright, fine but-"
Before his sentence even finished, you were right next to him at the back of the bar, staring with a pep in your step at all of the liquors, juices, and garnishes he actually had back here.
"Hey I didn't say you could-"
"Sorry Husk," you pushed him out of the area, feeling a little unwelcome or foreign on this side of the bar.
I mean, you both did, but it wasn't an entirely bad feeling-yet.
"Heyy, the old kitty came to play with us!" Cherri teased, watching as Husk awkwardly took a seat next to the two.
"Finally!" Angel groaned, throwing an arm over Husk and pulling him into the fun.
"On second thought, I don't think this was a good idea," Husk unfurled himself from Angel's grasp.
"Come on Husk, you deserve a break!" Angel insisted.
"Yes! Here are the shots!" You laid the three previously poured shots onto the countertop, eagerly watching as Cherri and Angel picked theirs up, waiting for Husk to join them.
The old cat eyed the shot, the red liquid glimmering quite nicely against the bars wood-top, and back the the pair of smiling faces that awaited him "Fuck it, I could use a drink."
When he smiled, you felt it like your own, proudly watching as the unlikely trio threw the drinks back with a hiss.
"So, what'll it be guys?"
Cherri sighed, slinking over the bar with a devilish grin "Hate 'ta hound ya on your first day, but what can you make?"
You shrugged, the confidence of being behind the bar (and the previous drink you had) voiding any concerns or anxieties you would've had. "What kind of drinks were you thinking?"
"More fucking shots bitch!"
You smiled "Dirty hookers, jagerbombs, lemon drop shots. . . maybe a kamikaze?"
"Oh~" Cherri put a hand on her chest, feigning flattery, "Fucking all of 'em! And throw in a few snake bites for me!"
"Just the dirty hookers for me, doll."
The pair of deviants giggled, marveling at the bars newest bartender and talking to each other whilst you familiarized yourself with Husks' bar.
He keeps it well stocked, you thought. Speaking of which. . .
As you rummaged around for the appropriate bottles, you could feel a familiar burning at the back of your neck.
Husk was staring at you.
You blushed, trying not to make eye contact by busying yourself with this new found task. "What's with the face, Whiskers?"
You heard him grunt, "What was that?"
"What was what?"
"You an alcoholic or something?" he clarified, the sound of him running his empty shot glass against the table lying underneath Cherri and Angel's conversation.
You hummed, not really answering until you had everything set on the bar. Five shot glasses on either side, you took the two bottles in hand flipping them upside down with a smile.
The three watched with amusement as you flipped one bottle high up, counting in your head the number of ounces you were pouring with the other while catching the bottle just in time.
Husks stomach was doing flips, watching on with a mix of anxiety that you'd break something (or god forbid hurt yourself) and the fact that you were actually. . . laughing.
The alcohol in your hands, whiskey, rum, vodka- anything- flying between your hands with the debonaire smile on your face.
Every movement, every flip, every spin. It all looked-
Husk caught himself, throwing his gaze to the side and moping. Trying hard not to think about anything.
"Here you go!" You slid the shots over to the pair, sure that it'd keep them busy for a while. . . or at least a few minutes.
"So what'll it be, boss?" You leaned over the counter, solely focused on him now, with that smug smile on your face. . . or maybe you were still a little tipsy.
"Boss?"
"Sure," you shrugged "Your gonna pay me after right?" You laughed when his face dropped, assuring him it was a joke. "Come on Husk, its time for you to be served for once, what kind of drink do you want?"
He seemed to freeze, the little pieces of fur on the back of his neck standing up like he was full of static. "Anything, I just need a drink," he said honestly.
Back to the same tired Husk, you smiled, chest filled with warmth. He looked, or he seemed. . . well you didn't actually know. Did he like that you were behind the bar?
You grabbed him a bottle of beer, easily wrenching the bottle cap off with the metal opener.
Husk took it into his hands faster than you could set it on the bar, tipping the bottle back so far that the dark green glass shone in the hotels light.
"I guessed you really could've used that drink," you sighed, feeling a little guilty for not doing him this favor sooner.
"Chug! Chug! Chug!" Angel and Cherri caught on as Husk nursed his bottle to almost empty.
You smiled, albeit a little bittersweetly, and turned back to the bar in order to make him something you figured he'd like to try.
With new found 'confidence', Husk blearily eyed your back, a sinking, fluttery feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. Watching you clean the glasses, something he did all the time, it looked. . . magnificent when you did it.
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The night continued without a hitch.
You watched from behind the bar as the three laughed. Yes, Husk was laughing, bottle in hand and letting Angel Dust push him around playfully, daring the two of them to come gamble with him sometime.
It filled your heart completely, he looked really good with a smile on his face. . . And every now and then you'd catch him staring at you, almost as if he were proud.
To be fair, the thought almost made you fumble a cocktail you were making for Angel Dust.
"You know, your pretty good at this," he complimented you, in that glorious drunken heaven he was in. The quiet purrs coming from him was enough to convince you of that.
"Here," you offered, sliding a small silver tray with two shots and limes on it his way "on me."
He chuckled, a deep rumbling sound as fine as the drinks he served you. "No, I couldn't drink two-"
"This one's for me," you pointed, taking the slim glass between your fingers.
"Drinking on the job is bad luck," he slurred.
"Are you kidding me? This is the best luck I've ever had! Come on," you insisted.
Husk's face, while already burning from the alcohol, was flush with nerves, a little smile on his face from the feeling it gave him. "Thanks."
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catmelonwriting · 4 months
Text
Arguing with Mori
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Warnings: Mori in general, hitting, he's a lil possessive yk, age gap (reader is 18/19, Mori is 40), he's a bitch, not proofread, kinda unhealthy relationship
Characters: Mori Ougai
A/N: this is the only thing I can bring myself to write bc I've been obsessed with Mori recently. Sue me. This is heavily inspired by a scene in Lolita 1997 because that movie is fucking relatable and it's all I can think about recently.
"Alright, that's it."
The car screeched noisily as Mori pulled over, thankful for the relatively empty roads making it an easy task. You two had been fighting over something stupid - but you made it just a little too serious with that last comment.
"You want to disrespect me in my own car? Then get out. You can walk home yourself. I don't care." He hissed.
It was pouring out, and there was even some thunder. It was about 3 miles till you got home, not too long in the car but to walk? It would be terrible. "Are you fucking kidding me?" You scoff, staring at him with disbelief in your eyes. "It's 9pm, pouring rain, and you're gonna make a teenage girl walk home alone? Are you trying to get me killed you dickhead?!"
"I'm not making you do anything. All I want is a simple apology and we can drive home normally, and pretend this didn't happen." He leans back in the driver's seat, taking his hands off the steering wheel.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" You screamed. "Like actually, what is wrong with you?! You say you love me then all you wanna do is fuck! And when we have a normal argument, like a normal couple, you lose your shit and do things like this!" You were going to continue, but you were cut off by the most menacing look you'd ever seen him direct at you. You'd seen that face before, of course, directed at nosy subordinates or people who were doing him wrong, but never at you. Never at you.
You stop talking and move to unbuckle your seatbelt, ready to leave the car, but Mori stops you by wrapping a single hand around both your wrists, pulling them towards him before you could even unbuckle. "I thought you wanted me to leave." You snarled.
"Quite the contrary, dear. I would love for you to stay, but if you're going to keep acting like a little brat I might just shove you out of the car myself." He says smoothly, his voice dripping with condescension.
"Oh, so now you're holding me captive? You're a kidnapper and a creep? I mean seriously, what forty year old man dates-" you're cut off by a harsh slap on your cheek and a stinging sensation as he lets go of your wrists and sighs heavily, resting his elbow on the center console and his forehead in the palm of his hand. "God, you make it so difficult to love you sometimes."
You can't help it. Your lip starts to quiver and you start wailing as you turn around and shove the car door open, pushing yourself out of the car and onto the sidewalk. You begin to run away, you're not sure where you're going but you need to get away. Away from him. You're followed by the sounds of him calling your name and the door of his car opening and closing.
You don't look behind you but you know he's running after you, you can hear his footsteps and the heavy breathing until he finally catches up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him from behind. By now you're both absolutely soaked in rain water, your clothes sticking to your skin and against his as he holds you there.
You turn around so you can sob into his chest, choking and coughing out apologies into his wet jacket. Eventually he leads you back to the car, opening your door for you and buckling your seatbelt.
Once you're both buckled and in the car you're silent. Neither of you can bring yourselves to say anything. You know he's not going to apologize for hitting you no matter how guilty he may or may not feel. He never apologizes, he just brings you designer purses and beautiful makeup the next day and it's enough to get you to forgive him. It always is.
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