Lightsaber Theory: Obi-Wan "Sith Lords are Our Specialty" Kenobi consistently loses duels to Dooku not for any reason of technical form mismatch or lack of ability, but because Dooku is not even pretending to try to kill him. Resultantly, Obi-Wan can’t figure out what the fuck is going on when they fight.
Obi-Wan: (preparing to defend an expected lethal strike) You’ll answer for your enormities, Count!
Dooku: (giving him the lightest love tap on the leg) Don’t be so sure, my special good lineage baby boy, so perfect in my eyes.
Obi-Wan: …What?
Dooku: What?
Which Dooku and Obi-Wan proud lineage moment is even the most unhinged? There are so many to choose from! Is it Dooku’s frequent inability, both in AotC and TCW, to keep from spontaneously gushing about Sidious’s plans and even his own dark secrets to Obi-Wan?? Is it the time in Labyrinth of Evil where Dooku drags a long-suffering, bored Grievous over to watch a holorecording of Anakin and Obi-Wan thwarting his plans yet again, to point out how beautifully they’re working together as a team and how much he likes watching their lightsaber work evolve? Is it in the recent Brotherhood novel, where Obi-Wan just has to casually namedrop Qui-Gon to get Dooku to do exactly what he wants?
Obi-Wan is a big problem for Sidious in his mission to destabilize and corrupt Anakin, and Sidious knows it. He needs him out of the picture to do the same isolating, evil bullshit that worked so well when ensnaring Dooku himself. But the war has been going on for years now, and guess who remains inconveniently alive? And whose job was that to take care of? Oh yeah. I remember. His useless, Padawan assassin-collecting apprentice: fucking Count Dooku. By the time of RotS, Sidious has specifically ordered Dooku to make fucking sure Obi-Wan is dead only for him to completely ignore the command about a half-dozen times.
Going by the Stover RotS novelization, in the same scene where Dooku also literally refers to Obi-Wan as his fucking grandson actually, add that to our earlier list, Sidious reiterates that KILL OBI-WAN is the plan (over the sound of Dooku’s loud complaining) moments before that final duel.
I kind of wish we’d gotten a shot of Sidious's incredulous, enraged expression as Dooku knocks Obi-Wan unconscious and pins him safely out of the way. He is, once again, going out of his way to not kill Obi-Wan in that duel, and this time directly disobeying his Master to his face after they just had a conversation about it. You just know exactly what Sidious must be thinking at that moment. Oh, Dooku. You are so fucking fired.
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More clone^2 snippets
Snippet 12: hands
Lancer: dear god, Mr. Fenton, what happened to your hands!?
Danny, had a run in with Damian’s katana and both of his hands have stitches: um… cooking… accident. I can’t use them that much currently
Lancer, pale: right, yes, of course. You may have one of your friends right you notes until they are properly healed
————
Snippet 13: more hands (and dash is a dick)
Dash: I bet Fenturd’s just faking his hand injury to get out of doing class work. Getting out of classwork is my thing! I’ll show him.
Danny, minding his own business:
Dash, yanks on his fingers harshly: Freak! Did you think you could copy me and het away with it?
Danny, his stitches torn from the way Dash grabbed him: you’re the last person I’d want to copy Dash, let go.
Dash: we all know you’re faking the hand injury, there’s no way you’d— you’d—
(Danny’s hands are bleeding, and starting to smear on Dash’s hands.)
Danny, (fake) calmly: you were saying, Dash?
Dash: I - uh—
Danny: thanks for opening them up, jerk.
—————
Snippet 14: Danny is Bruce’s Clone and Bruce Wayne has been hottest man alive for many consecutive years
The A-Lister Girls are at a sleepover
Star: Never have I ever had a crush on Danny Fenton
All girls (including Star): puts a finger down
A-List Girl: Paulina put your finger down
Paulina, begrudgingly putting a finger down: he shouldn’t count - he’s a loser!
A-List Girl: he’s still the cutest boy in our grade. Put your damn finger down.
—————
Snippet 15: unstoppable force vs immovable object
(In the Clone Danny Au, since Danny is not a ghost Valerie doesn’t see Phantom as the guy who ruined her life, but a very exhausted vigilante trying his best. They’re allies with conflicting ideologies on how to handle ghosts.)
Red Huntress: are you kidding me, Phantom? You dragged a kid in with you to fight ghosts? I thought you were better than that
Wraith, offended: *opening his mouth*
Phantom, tiredly putting a hand over Damian’s mouth: *in ASL + one hand* you don’t think I tried to stop him?
Red Huntress: he’s a child, Phantom, how hard could it be?
Phantom: looks down at Wraith
Wraith: looks up at Phantom with the eyes of a hundred enraged bulls
Phantom, kneeling down to Wraith and pulling his mask up to show his mouth: *whispering inaudibly*
Wraith: *takes off in the opposite direction*
Phantom, standing up to Red: *ASL* well? go get him
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Snippet 16: identity
(Danny and Damian are sitting on a rooftop, in the middle of a break from patrol. Damian sits between Danny’s legs and Danny is slumped over Damian’s back.)
Damian, playing with Danny’s fingers:
Danny: who are you?
Damian: Damian.
Danny: who are you not?
Damian: Damian Wayne.
Danny: do you have to be?
Damian: no.
Danny: who do you have to be?
Damian: I just have to be me.
Danny: who are you?
Damian: I’m Damian.
Danny: good.
Damian:
Danny:
Damian: who are you?
Danny, smiling: Danny
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Snippet 17: long hair
(In the Clone Danny Au, Danny’s hair goes to his shoulders. I was in a GNC mood at the time the au was made and it passed on to Danny.)
Tucker: are you going to cut your hair, Danny? It’s getting long.
Danny, laying against the bed frame with Sam doing his hair: probably to get the dead ends cut off. I like it long.
Sam: I like it long too.
Tucker: you like it long because he lets you do whatever you want to it
Sam: it’s also a stand against the oppressive stereotype that men can’t have long hair and must always have it short in order to appear masculine! Danny’s showing individuality and sticking it to the patriarchy at the same time!
Danny: and because I let you do whatever you want to it.
Sam, making a punk hairdo for danny: yea that too
——————
Snippet 18: Danny is Bruce Wayne’s clone and Bruce——
Danny, getting stuff from his locker: my parents have a new ‘Fenton anti-ghost sticky bomb’ they’re working on and—
Student with a photography camera: Hey, Fenton!
Danny, looking over: what?
Student: *snaps a photo* thanks!
Student walks away
Danny:
Tucker:
Sam:
Danny: so… um…. Is that- is that another Wes? Should I be worried?
Sam: you should be angry! He just took your picture without your consent! That’s a violation of your bodily autonomy.
Danny: we can keep an eye on it, Sam, and if it becomes an issue then I’ll report it to a teacher.
Danny: and as I was saying, I can’t wait to have to make sure that that doesn’t hurt anyone.
Danny: i love having to stay up late sabotaging my parents’ inventions. Yay…
—————
Snippet 19: Danny is Bruce’s clone and—
Wes: ranting about how Phantom = Danny and how there’s proof and he has it and—
Random Student from his photography club: you wanna kiss him so bad it makes you look stupid.
Wes: I do nOT
Student: Its okay Wes, so does literally everyone else.
—————
Snippet 20: Lookalike
Danny: the only good thing about being Bruce Wayne’s clone is that my Brucie Wayne Impression is spot on
Damian: what??
Danny: my Brucie Wayne impression. It shouldn’t be as fun as it is doing it
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