#like am I wrong for thinking that between this

[outsideratheart]

“I almost lost you.” with Leah Williamson

Leah Williamson was the woman for you. There was a lot in this world you didn’t know but this is one thing you were sure about.

Throughout the years you have been together you had experienced many ups and downs both on the pitch and off it but there was one moment that stuck out.

Back in 2019 Arsenal got an offer for Lyon that was too good to turn down. Never did you think you would leave Arsenal and your girlfriend but the temptation was there and it filled you with guilt. Talks happened between you and the french team but you kept them a secret from your girlfriend. In the end you chose your relationship over your career.

It’s how you found yourself experiencing an intense case of Deja Vu. For you Arsenal wasn’t the same as it once was and with your contract coming to an end, teams began making offers once again. Only this time you told your manager to reject every single one of them. Maybe your love of the team was deteriorating but your relationship wasn’t. You and Leah had just bought you forever home and you leaving wasn’t part of your 5 year plan.

“Is everything ok?” Leah asked as you walked into the kitchen where she was making herself, and now you, a cup for tea.

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. Once again you had been asked to stay behind to work do extra training at the request of Jonas.

With the small amount of energy you have left you hoist yourself up onto the kitchen side.

Leah hands you a freshly brewed tea and takes her place between your legs. She watches as you place the cup aside without taking a sip.

“You never turn down a cup for tea. Something must be wrong” Leah slight chuckle soon came to an end when she saw your face drop.

Your mind was screaming in frustration but you remain silent. The only sign of response Leah gets is when you tilt your head back in attempt to avoid eye contact.

“We just need to finish this season and get it over with”

Never had Leah heard you talk about football in such a way. You spoke about it like it was a chore when normally you have a smile that spreads from ear to ear.

“You can leave Y/N. I know that—“ Leah begins to talk but you don’t let her finish her sentence.

“No, no ,no. I’m not leaving, I haven’t even taken any meetings. I promise you Leah, I haven’t”

Leah has known your departure from the club you both grew up in was imminent. She could play for Arsenal until the day she retired but the same could not be said about you. You deserved to reach your full potential and that wouldn’t happen at Arsenal.

“I know about the offers” Leah hands rub up and down your thighs. She watched as you visibly tense up at the mention of other clubs.

“I turned them down straight away”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have”

“It was the right decision for our future. Last time I…..I almost lost you”

It wasn’t an easy thing to remember. You and Leah were screaming at each other and it ended with her walking out. She didn’t return to your apartments for 3 days and they were the longest days of your life.

‘Y/N” Leah waited for you to look at her and after a few seconds you did “It wasn’t you moving that did that. It was that you kept it from me”

“I don’t know what to do. I’m not happy at Arsenal but I know that I’ll be even more miserable if I am away from you”

“What we are going to do is talk about it. You are going to be honest with me about how you are feeling and then you can tell me which city I will be visiting on my days off”

“I’ll grab the biscuits, you grab the drinks?” You ask with a smirk on your face.

“Sure” Leah steals a quick kiss “See, we will still be a team off the pitch”

[lurkingshan]

Well! I love nothing more than when a show immediately validates my read of the themes and character dynamics. Thank you, Love Sea!

This show is excellent, and I am really impressed by how seriously it's taking the class and queer politics of this relationship. That shower scene really laid out the power dynamic here: Rak thinks of Mut as an object he can buy, use, and discard as he likes (though that is already starting to shift by the end of this episode). He can't stop throwing money at Mut and assuming that's all it will take to control him: witness him sending money to stake his claim when he got jealous, and asking if Mut is amazed to finally see money. He's a rich prick!

But he's a rich prick who is clearly hurting and needs to heal from something, and Mut can see that. And because he's a good person, he cares. I am dying for more context to understand those trauma flashbacks we saw in this episode, and I continue to be impressed with Mut as a competent professional. My favorite scene in this episode was their discussion over lunch at the dock, where they directly discussed their class disparity and the differences in their perspectives about work. When Mut started talking about how hard it is to stay afloat starting a small business and his neighborhood auntie jumped in to underline that poor people have to be exceptional to have a chance, I wanted to kiss this show on the mouth. Mut has been hustling hard to make a life for himself. Rak, by contrast, pursued a career he thought was fun and that gave him an outlet for his sexuality, as his financial privilege allowed him to do.

Speaking of which, another fantastic scene this episode was when Rak checked in with Mut about whether they could be out in his hometown. He framed it as protecting Mut's reputation, but he was also asking about his own safety as an out gay man on this island. It was a small moment, but those are the touches that make this story feel genuinely queer, and I'm glad to see MAME continuing to level up on this in each successive show.

And speaking of leveling up, can we get a round of applause for Fort and Peat, who have somehow already managed to surpass the heat level of their Love in the Air sex scenes. I hardly knew it was possible to do more, but they have proven me wrong and had my jaw dropping a few times in this episode. I really like that they became sexually involved before any real affection has developed between them and that the sex isn't necessarily the thing building their bond; it's the moments when they connect outside of sex that are engaging their emotions. But in the meantime, they clearly have off the charts chemistry and they are both happy to indulge. Power to them!

[songmingisthighs]

Cornered

group : ateez

pairing : bf!mingi × reader × yeosang

genre : smut

wc : 3.9 k

tw : mdni, unprotected sex, consensual sex, explicit smut (voyeurism ??, mingi's kind of a cuck maybe ??, spitroasting, brief mention of yunho with a feetish, creampie, sloppy seconds, slight m × m, double stuffed), mingi and mc ganging up on yeosang, slightly more dominating mingi, can't think of anything else to warn :/

a/n : happy birthday my womp womp beefcake raccoon !!! i had planned this fic for a week maybe ? and i decided to just post this on yeosang's birthday as like a dedication thing and ofc i had to include mingi in this because who am i if not songmingisthighs ?? lmaoooo

a/a/n : it surprised me that i was able to finish this one so quick

buy me coffee ?

Yeosang felt odd from the moment he stepped into the dorm Mingi shared with San and Seonghwa. There was something about the aura that sent shivers down his spine.

He had received a text from Mingi, asking him to hang out at his place as his roommates would be out the whole night and they had no schedule the next day. So it was quite a surprise for Yeosang to see you on the couch, lounging before rushing to hug him as soon as you took notice of his arrival. He had assumed that the reason Mingi invited him in was because he had no one to accompany him. Apparently not.

What got him feeling even more odd was the fact that you were particularly touchy with him even if your boyfriend was pressed on your back with his arm slung around your shoulders.

It all came down to when the flustered Yeosang excused himself to grab some cold water. Thirsty, he excused himself, but the sight of you in Mingi's oversized t-shirt with what he had accidentally discovered a lack of bottom save for your panties when you oh-so-clumsily dropped his hand that you were playing with onto your lap, smack dab between your legs. He felt so wrong for having his heart beating out of his chest because it was his best friend's girlfriend and no matter how she was acting, albeit slightly too bravely. It reduced Yeosang to a fumbly, bumbly man who had to calm himself down.

Unbeknownst to him, you and Mingi were smirking at each other, knowing that your plan had worked. See, Mingi had a feeling that Yeosang was somewhat attracted to you as seen from the way he paid attention completely whenever you were talking or the way he brought you up in conversation especially when they were talking about interests. But one thing that struck most was the way Yeosang complimented you and then blushed. This intrigued Mingi and he proposed that you two allow Yeosang to have fun with the two of you.

Finalizing your plan, you and Mingi walked over to the kitchen where Yeosang was hunched over with his forehead pressed on the cold marble counter, trying to calm himself down.

Unfortunately, the slight touch of your hand on his shoulder caused his heart to jump and body to straighten out.

"Aww, are you nervous around me, Yeosangie?" you teased, a smirk etched on your face. Yeosang swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head but Mingi chuckled, cutting him off as he proceeded to step closer to him. "Come on, you can't even utter a word and we can see your dick twitching from accidentally touching my girl's pussy," he teased.

Yeosang's eyes widened and he looked down to his crotch almost immediately to see that there was in fact an imprint of his slowly hardening cock, prominent on his grey sweatpants. Yeosang kept staring at it in shame while your eyes sparkled with mischievous glint, almost mirroring the look on Mingi's face.

Realizing the fact that you and your boyfriend were looking at him like Siamese cats with a plan, Yeosang could only gulp nervously.

He had walked into a trap.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was a challenge trying to get Yeosang to break out of his shell because you know that he wanted to touch you as much as you wanted to touch him, if not more. He wouldn't even touch you even after Mingi told him that he could, not even when you riled him up by stripping (which was basically just you taking off the shirt you borrowed from Mingi) and plopping on his lap, and not even when you started making out with your boyfriend right up in his face with your tits groped and fondled by Mingi's rough hands.

The moans you were making sounded like music in Yeosang's ears and he couldn't help but be aroused seeing the way you and Mingi were enjoying each other as if he wasn't there. Little did he know (because he was too busy watching you), Mingi was keeping an eye on Yeosang the whole time, particularly his reaction. It was a known, unspoken secret between you two that your boyfriend has the tendency to get super risky when there are people around in case you both get caught because deep down (and by deep down, it's really just almost on the surface), Mingi is kind of a voyeur, that's why he told you about his observation over Yeosang because he found it hot that his friend wanted the girl he has.

With a soft touch, Mingi tapped your hip gently, signalling you to detach for a bit so he could nod in Yeosang's direction.

"I think Yeosangie feels a bit neglected," you smirked, now paying attention to him by pressing your body flush against him, your crotch right on his hardened cock and your arms around his shoulders, "I'm so sorry."

If Yeosang thought he was aroused when he was watching you and Mingi, he was now risking cumming in his pants because you had started sucking on the skin around his chest. God bless Yeosang in tank tops.

"Come on man, I know you want to touch (y/n), you're so red in the face and you're really straining from holding yourself back, just relax, let it be," Mingi smugly said as he positioned your hips outwards so you were in a kneeling position on top of Yeosang who couldn't help but let his breath hitch when Mingi started grinding his own erection on your clothed cunt. "I- I," Yeosang stuttered as his eyes rolled into the back of his head from the way your mouth was sucking a hickey at the base of his neck and your finger rolling his nipple over his tank top, "I just-" he tried finding an excuse but he couldn't think of anything because the reality was all three of the parties involved consented, all three parties wanted this, two parties are enjoying it, and one party is being too stubborn for his own good.

Yeosang almost let out a whine when you detached your lips from his skin but he held it in, even as you stared up at him with pleading doe eyes, "Don't you want to touch me, Yeosang? Don't you want me? Don't you like me?"Just that easily, Yeosang's resolve melted and he pulled you into a hungry kiss, eliciting a moan from your smirking mouth. Mingi, on the other hand, took this as a chance to move forward. With only your panties in the way, Mingi ripped the flimsy fabric off of you while simultaneously working to get his cock out of his pants, not even bothering to take them off completely. "Tell me what you want to do to my girlfriend," Mingi said directly to Yeosang as he rubbed his tip on your wet slit. "What?" Yeosang could barely answer as his senses were filled with you. "Tell me all the things you want to do to (y/n) and maybe, just maybe, I might let you do some of them," Mingi was fibbing a bit because he was definitely really going to let his friend do whatever he wanted to you. But he wasn't going to outrightly say it because he still should have all the power. "I-I-" Yeosang struggled to even clearly discern what exactly it was that he wanted because, in all honesty, he only cared about being inside you and feeling good, experiencing pleasure with you with or without Mingi. Although, the idea of Mingi being there and maybe even telling him what to do made his cock strain even more in his pants.

The snap of Mingi's fingers broke Yeosang's daze and he was met with the sight of Mingi raising an eyebrow at him, "Don't look at her, I'm the one in charge here." It was new to you but you found it really hot the way Mingi was talking about you as if you weren't being sandwiched between two men, on the verge of being fucked by your boyfriend while pleasuring his friend.

An idea suddenly popped into your head and you had to bite back a condescending chuckle at the expense of the poor man under you. "Oh baby, you don't really wanna do anything to me, do you? You want me to do things to you," and in the following moment, a breathy "Yes" escaped Yeosang's lips as if it was a sinful little confession, the same time Mingi groaned and pushed himself wholly inside you.

Yeosang's eyes widened and his jaw slacked because, in all honesty, he had somehow expected to not be able to see much but obviously, he was wrong. "Oh fuck," he gasped, "OH FUCK," he gasped again when he felt your hand on his bare cock. When did you got him out? Your hand had pushed the bottom of his top upwards, revealing his well-toned abs contracting as you began pumping him with your hand. "Yeosangie likes it," you teased, pushing your ass back onto Mingi to make room for yourself, "I guess we finally broke you, huh?" you teased one last time before taking Yeosang in your mouth and started bobbing your head mercilessly, loving the way he filled your mouth just perfectly as opposed to your overly endowed boyfriend who had started thrusting in you.

Yeosang never considered himself a pervert nor did he ever experience the desire to know his best friends' private matters. Literally private, he even walked away when Yunho talked about liking his toe sucked (although that might be because it was so out of pocket), but he couldn't deny loving seeing you sucking his dick while being fucked by Mingi's. It honestly made him wonder what other things you and Ming do and discuss in private because if this was just a glimpse of what you two are into, he could only imagine what other things you two might do. To him or otherwise.

The way you and Mingi were working together was nothing short of mesmerizing to Yeosang. You both were so in sync with your movements. He took notice of how Mingi's thrusts were adapting to the pace of your mouth, making his movements more languid and more unifying. He couldn't help but think that it was almost as if Mingi was pleasuring him with you and the thought effectively made him blush.

But soon enough all coherent thoughts were pushed away when your hands started fondling with his balls and you weren't shy with your movements either. "Fuck, baby he likes that," Mingi laughed, absolutely enjoying seeing his girl reducing one of his best friends into a panting, whiny mess. The more Yeosang groaned and whined, the more Mingi was riled up. His eyes darkened the moment he noticed that Yeosang had absolutely conceded with the way he gripped your hair and pushed your face even closer to his crotch, effectively forcing more of his length down your throat. Mingi wasn't worried about you handling his friend because he himself was a rough lover. You had taken and initiated a lot of things with Mingi, he had even experienced you using your safeword on him. So knowing your limitations and capabilities which, in his mind were superb, Mingi felt a sense of pride in sharing you. In a way, he was showing you off.

As shy as Yeosang is, he had to admit that the obscene sound of your pussy being abused by Mingi's cock and you choking on his dick, along with the feeling of drool trickling down his balls drove Yeosang to his first orgasm. Your eyes widened when you felt cum shoot down your throat without warning, causing your fingers to grip Yeosang's tensed thighs for support, your nails dug through his sweatpants only making his hips buck into your mouth. Other than the soft pants and occasional moans, the grunt Yeosang let out was probably the loudest sound he had made that night. Even as you let his softening dick out of your mouth and opt to lick him clean, Yeosang still kept the majority of his whimpers to himself.

"Fuck yes," Mingi panted, his nose twitching as his hips moved wildly, chasing his own high as to join Yeosang's high. "Don't cum (y/n), don't cum just yet, I want you to keep everything in until Yeosang gets to fuck you."

Once the words were processed in Yeosang's head, it felt as though his dick was going to come alive again. "What?" he asked at the same time you whined in displeasure, wanting to cum especially after Mingi and Yeosang got theirs. "You heard me," Mingi smirked, his grip tightening on your hips, caging them still as he sent thrust after thrust until his body suddenly tensed, shooting a warm stream of cum into your awaiting pussy. The feeling of being filled up sent shivers down your spine and it was torture for you because usually, you'd already been cumming at this point at least once or twice. Or thrice if Mingi was in the mood so it frustrated you that you were told you couldn't cum. The frustration brought tears to your eyes that were soon wiped by Yeosang's gentle thumb, causing you to crack a small smile.

Unfortunately, your moment was ripped away when Mingi pulled you up by the hair, allowing Yeosang's eyes to zero in on your crotch, particularly the way your cunt was swallowing Mingi's above-average size, some of Mingi's cum spilt despite you being plugged full. Mingi didn't miss the way Yeosang's tongue darted out as if wanting to have a taste, of your cunt, the cum, or even Mingi inside you was unsure but there was a clear desire in his eyes that not even he wanted to hide anymore.

"Now, you get your turn," Mingi stated directly to Yeosang in a way that was almost hypnotizing that he didn't realize Mingi's hand had wandered to his cock that twitched in his touch. Yeosang's toes curled the more he thought about the fact that his friend had a hand on his cock, trying to get it back to erect while his girlfriend stood between them, grinding her hips to get some friction, looking at him as she bit her bottom lip as if it wouldn't affect Yeosang even in the smallest of ways.

Without wasting any more time, Yeosang pushed his body off Mingi's bed to take off his sweatpants quickly and captured your lips in a searing kiss again, enjoying your enthusiasm along with your boyfriend's ministration on him. "You're driving me crazy," Yeosang said against your lips, momentarily shifting his gaze at Mingi who was staring deeply into his eyes, "Both of you," he finalized, confessing how he was feeling.

Proud, Mingi squeezed Yeosang's cock once before sliding his out of you, "Stuff her," he commanded, "Stuff her before my cum leaks out." Thankfully, Yeosang's brain was intact enough to comply and within seconds, your head rolled back to your boyfriend's chest as Yeosang filled you in. It was obvious even from the first push that Yeosang's cock was nowhere the size of Mingi but what he lacked in girth, he made up in length. Yeosang, for the first time that night, almost broke his demeanour as he bit back a smug smirk when he saw you shudder the moment his tip kissed your cervix. The feel and the notion that it was Yeosang stuffing you with your boyfriend pressed to your back was what gave you the feeling.

The cum Mingi dumped in you served as a lubricant, allowing Yeosang to immediately started thrusting in you. Before, when you were still discussing with Mingi about this opportunity, you only imagined what Yeosang would be like but now, you can definitely say that Yeosang was more on the softer and sensual side which was a refreshing change because Mingi is passionate and aggressive.

"Fuck, that feels good, Sangie," you exhaled breathily with a satisfied grin on your face, not even realizing that you were practically using Mingi as a wall with Yeosang thrusting into you and his lips on your shoulder, leaving marks from him biting and sucking that would remind you for the next few days that another man had touched you under the watchful eyes of your boyfriend. "He knows what he's doing, huh?" Mingi teased, slipping a hand down to circle your clit with his middle finger, purposefully letting his touch graze Yeosang's cock every time it moved in and out of you. "He really does, baby, God, had I known-ah- that he'd feel this good I would've asked to fuck him a long time ago," you moaned, lifting a leg to hook around Yeosang's slim waist to get more access of him. You didn't even care that you were making a mess on Mingi's bed by letting his cum drip down to his sheets. To be fair, any concern regarding the sheets would've been gone the moment you and Mingi pushed Yeosang onto the bed. Thank God he's so pliable.

Yeosang happily anchored your leg with his hand, as he thrust harder, the way you talked about him with your boyfriend made him more desperate, particularly about the fact that he could've fucked you sooner had he shown any sort of interest in the matter. Luckily, it was better late than never.

"You know what would make it feel even better?" Mingi smirked.

You and Yeosang's bodies froze when you felt Mingi tapping the tip of his cock against your entrance. While you were simply caught off-guard especially since you were in such a deep sex haze, Yeosang was surprised by two things; the fact that Mingi would want to share you to this extent, and the fact that having two cocks in you at the same time seemed like a normal occurrence to you. The way Yeosang was looking at Mingi worriedly made the taller man want to pinch his cheek and call him cute. "Don't worry man, (y/n) can handle this," and with that, he began pushing inside you, skin to skin with Yeosang.

The pleasure Yeosang felt was unlike any he had experienced. There was this biting tension building in the pit of Yeosang's stomach simply from the way Mingi's cock felt dragging against his on top of feeling the tightness that closed in more and more when Mingi kept going.

You were faring no better.

Your eyes had rolled back into your skull and the leg that was around Yeosang's waist hooked him in even tighter as if you didn't want to let go. The position allowed Mingi to enter at a better angle and easier but the drag was still excruciatingly delicious.

Once Mingi pushed all the way in (as far as he could without making it impossible for any one of you to move), the three of you simply stayed in that position for a while, waiting for you to get used to having two men inside you first. Yeosang had the advantage of seeing your dicked out pussy and he felt both shame and arousal from enjoying the view.

"Holy- (y/n), you're so full," he said breathily, experimenting to see what would happen if he moved and when your knees buckled slightly, he immediately pushed his body flush to your front so you were effectively sandwiched between two men, "I got you," he ensured, arms enveloping your body.

Seeing as you and Yeosang were getting comfortable, Mingi huffed before he too started moving, setting a pace for everyone. The first few thrusts were rather slow and prolonged but the more your moans got louder, the harder the thrusts became. It came to the point where there were no real words coming out of either one of your mouths, only pants, grunts, groans, and moans. The sounds and smell of sex mixing together made Mingi think that he would be thinking about this moment for quite some time but he couldn't say that he was opposed to it because he wasn't.

"I need to cum," You whined, lifting your head that had dropped to Yeosang's shoulder to look at him, "Help me," you pleaded. Yeosang, too focused on fucking you, was momentarily confused. It wasn't until you took his hand and put his middle and pointer fingers in your mouth, licking and sucking on the digits, did he realize what you were asking of him. "Please," you almost whimpered pathetically. Yeosang's fingers went to immediate work on your swollen bundle of nerves, having it rub against his toned abs caused you to be more needy.

Between the two men, you were reduced to nothing but a doll for them to enjoy. Not that you were complaining because everything just felt all too good. Your boyfriend was practically rearranging your guts with his friend and his friend was helping you chase your orgasm.

"Mingi," you whined, "N-need to let go now," your hips were moving on their own to chase the high from both men's cocks and Yeosang's fingers. Surprisingly, Mingi gave Yeosang a knowing look, letting his friend know that he was sharing the control which was a good thing for you because Yeosang didn't even hesitate to nod. In fact, he was nodding eagerly, wanting to experience your release while he was still inside you. "Do it, cum (y/n), cum for us, cum for Mingi and me."

The way Yeosang spoke drove you straight over the edge and your legs snapped shut as you finally climaxed. Yeosang's breath hitched the moment your pussy contracted, forcing his cock to halt its movement and his hand to be stuck between your bodies. Unlike him, Mingi never stopped thrusting even when it became hard, he settled for a slower pace as long as there was still stimulation and it was a good thing that he did because thanks to his relentlessness, Yeosang was reaching his high. He almost came with Mingi who was already stuffing his second load in you but he had the good sense to pull out.

Just as he was halfway out, you whined and took a harsh grip on the hair on the back of his head. "No," you frowned, "Inside me," the demand was clear but Yeosang was still unsure. Despite his release teetering over the edge, he still took you and your boyfriend into consideration. Luckily, before he could do anything else, Mingi reached around and pulled Yeosang by grabbing his ass and shoving himself back into you so he could release inside of you. You gasped and your muscles contracted once again, causing Yeosang's cock to twitch and finally let go deep inside you. The thought of his cum mixing with Mingi's made him blush because, despite everything that had happened already, that one part will remain in his head the longest.

Neither of you dared to move; you due to still calming down, Mingi due to replaying moments and scenes in his head, and Yeosang due to wanting the moment to last longer.

Never would have Yeosang imagined that he'd be glad that he was cornered. The only thing he could wish for was for it to happen again. Little did he know that his wishful thinking was shared with the couple in front of him. It was just a matter of when they could corner him again.

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[greycaelum]

Hi Grey! How was ur week? Question for Yakuza Satoru: he got tattoos, but what kind and where? This series fits Gojo-Zenin rivalry so well. Can totally see Naoya being crazy jealous of Satoru, to the point of dying…

So late reply, forgive this tardy woman! Just finished 2 sems in uni and now I still have to do summer but it's manageable so here I am again Quite rusty if I must say, writer's block at its finest...

Thank you for your interest in Coasts and Altitudes, fingers crossed on the next update! With lots of hugs from Grey~

[Pic link] CTTO

"Did it hurt...?" Your eyes flickered as you stared at the elaborate irezumi painting on his broad back, it covered a few old scars, scabs of rose pink peaking a bit on the spaces between the vivid inks, obscuring but not totally hiding the gashes from your sight.

"Mnnn?" Your husband looked back as he searched for a shirt in the closet. he's only wearing cotton shorts and a towel over his shoulder, walking topless around your home since the staff were out for the weekend except for some of his subordinates guarding the perimeter of the house. You've been married for already a month, but still, it's hard to remain focused every time he goes around naked.

"The irezumi... did it hurt?" You bit the insides of your mouth when he faced you with his inked pecs and hard 8-packs distracting your sight. He remained unbeknownst or probably playing clueless as he walked towards you and asked you to dry his hair.

"Not really, I got used to the pain." He shrugged as you kneeled on the bedside behind him and ruffled his hair with the towel. For a man depicted as rough and the violent shady business he deals with daily, Satoru has a penchant of asking you to do domestic and mundane stuff for him.

Your hands stopped drying his hair as you slowly traced the ink much to his amusement.

"What's wrong, princess?" He purrs.

You couldn't answer as you stared at the dragon holding the close lotus form. This oriental dragon represents strength combined with wisdom and usually is benevolent, a protector against those who might usurp control... yet somehow, countless flowers scattered around the dragon, you couldn't quite understand it... not to mention Satoru's chest is still not inked.

"What does your irezumi mean? I can't understand it..." You've seen many irezumi from your father's men, all of them are unique but you've never seen anything compare to Satoru's.

Satoru looked back at you, mirth swirling in his bright eyes, but seeing you can't meet his gaze with how fixated you are in his back he face front to let you stare at his irezumi for now. He opened his mouth, thinking of how to start.

"I wanted to have a Karashishi beast instead of the Ryu, but the person I wanted to protect left... and I need to guard my family's so I chose the dragon..."

You couldn't speak... you already know what he means.

"This peony..." You looked at the lonesome peony on his top left shoulder. "It suits you, wealth and prosperity with your devil-may-care attitude." You swallowed the awkward reply on the tip of your tongue and tried to hide your hesitant tone.

"I couldn't think of anything more to remember you so I chose the Sakura, thinking I needed to remind myself I was just a fleeting moment of your childhood. I would just stay here, protecting my family or else I would've come running after you like a lap dog... I would've begged you to spare attention to me, I don't have a good sense of self control when it's about you."

A fleeting moment of childhood, huh? Your fingers traced the cherry blossoms littered over the dragon. And whose fault was it for pushing you away years ago saying he can only see you as a younger sister? You scoffed and curled your nails on the biggest cherry blossom making him groan.

Satoru turns around and pushes you down the bed, the mattress cushioning you as he plants his arms on the sides of your head. Climbing on top of you as he pushes away the stray hair framing your eyes.

"I've always known even 15 years ago you would cover me with scars... Now that you're finally tied to me I can get that karashishi and perhaps some momiji to add it..."

"Where are you going to put it?"

He chuckled and raised a brow as he took your hand and placed it on his chest.

"On where you'll always be."

Footnotes:

Karashishi "Lion Dog": The local Shinto religion of Japan, which pre-dates Buddhism, also has a lion protector, with a red head, who drives away evil spirits and brings health and wealth. No matter the origin though, the Fu Lion is fundamentally protective, strong, and courageous.

Ryu "Dragon": Oriental dragons are equally at home in the air or in the water. Usually embodying wisdom, strength and manipulating the forces of the universe for the benefit of people. Dragon can also clutch in one of his claws an object that is variously shown as a ball, a pearl, or a jewel, also known as “the closed-lotus form” essentially the essence of the universe, to control the winds, rains, fire and even the planets. This item is essentially seen in various Buddhist designs including temples and grave markers. It represents the spiritual essence of the universe, by which the dragon controls and protects it from those who might usurp those powers.

Sakura "Cherry Blossom": For Japanese imagery, the beautiful period of its flowering and then the all too soon fading and subsequent scattering of petals on the wind, symbolize life itself.  The fragility of the cherry blossom is the fragility of human existence.  they represent mortality, love, magnificent beauty, and sudden death.  It is regarded by all as a good omen.

Botan "Peony":  It is regarded as a symbol of wealth, good fortune, and prosperity.  In addition, though,  it also suggests a sort of gambling, daring, and even a masculine devil-may-care attitude, quite unlike its character in the west.

Momiji "Maple Leaves": In Japan, it’s also the symbol of lovers. A single leaf or a multitude of leaves are also potent symbols of regeneration and resurrection as they cycle through the seasons.

—GreyCaelum

PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME

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All rights and credits of the Jujutsu Kaisen character(s) mentioned images(s) and songs(s) used, belongs to their respective owner(s)

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[moonstruckme]

mae is have like a really silly request but anyway, maybe some doctor!remus smutty drabble

I don't think that's silly at all babe haha, I think there's tons of potential with this au and smut so....if you like it, when requests open again I'm always down for more. Thank you for requesting! :)

cw: smut mdni

doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 449 words

“Do you really have to wear gloves for this?” 

“Yes, I do.” 

You huff, having a hard time looking at your boyfriend when your face feels this hot. “I don’t really see how this is necessary,” you mutter. “You practically examined them the other night.” 

Remus gives you a knowing look, tinged with smugness. His gloved fingers continue to feel about your breasts. “That was different, dove.” 

And yet, he sweeps a fond touch over the curve of your left tit. Pushing his luck. You really can’t look at him. 

“It doesn’t seem like it’s so different for you, though, does it?” he muses, one corner of his lips curling up. 

“That’s…it’s just cold in here.” 

“Sure it is, sweetheart.” 

It really is. The air conditioning in the exam room is cool your bare skin, the thin gown you’d been given dropped to your waist. Still, there’s a warmth pooling in your belly despite the chill. It gets worse when Remus increases his pressure, his touch becoming firmer as he presses into the fleshy underside of your tit. 

His eyes are on your chest, clinical, scanning for lumps or abnormalities as he squeezes your breast in his hand. He pushes down even harder, and a tiny sound escapes you, half-suppressed and somewhere between pain and pleasure. 

“Oh, sorry darling,” Remus coos. His hand slips to your side as he bends close to you, touching his lips to the spot. If they part for a moment, it’s too brief to verify. 

“Fuck you,” you laugh, rubbing at your tit. “You know exactly what you’re doing.” 

The grin he gives you reminds you that your boyfriend isn’t always the buttoned-up, professional doctor. Roguish. 

“Afraid not,” he says, eyes crackling with amusement. “What am I doing?” 

Then, you see his eyes dip to where you’re massaging your breast, and the amusement fizzles out. Satisfaction washes over you like a warm tide. You push the flesh up, thumb gliding over your hard nipple. His eyes darken. 

“Maybe I was wrong,” you say in your smoothest voice. It’s nowhere near as sultry as your boyfriend can make his, but it does the job. “I’m sorry, honey, I interrupted you. Do you wanna finish my exam now?” 

Remus’ gaze rises to meet yours, and now there’s no disguising the want in it. You take your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down on a smile. His own lips quirk in response. 

“Mm, don’t think so.” His touch leaves as he steps back, locking the door to the exam room. “Why don’t you take your panties off and lay back, dove. I think we have a bit more left to cover before we’re done here today.” 

[sunflower-lilac42]

𝗮𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | 𝘮𝘣13 ♔

➪ summary: mat goes out to celebrate their win but forgets to text his girl where he's going, sending her into a spiral

➪ warnings: accusations of cheating, reader is anxious, reader had a crappy ex

➪ word count: 1.3k

➪ file type: fic

➪ sunny's notes: i love mat so so so so much so if you ever want to send thoughts about him go ahead! he's ugh- yeah. just i need more mat content fr

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It felt stupid for her to feel this way. Mat hadn’t done anything wrong to make her feel like this, to make her feel like he was cheating. He had always told her where he was going, he always invited her out with his friends after big wins, and he FaceTimed her every night while he was on the road. He was perfect for her. Yet, her mind had never been nice to her.

It seemed like her mind’s favorite thing to do was to play tricks on her, from remembering little details from her childhood to overthinking whether or not she left the straightener on. It never stopped, it only got quiet for a brief few moments before reappearing. Her past experiences hadn’t helped her mind's incessant ideas.

When she started dating Charlie, she was desperate for love, desperate for someone to love her, so she fell for the first guy who paid any attention to her. And he used it to his advantage. They had been dating for about 9 months when she found out he had been cheating for 6 of them. Her heart, and mind, were never the same after that. 

Meeting Mat did wonders for her, she felt like she was finally allowing herself to be happy. And then the thoughts came and never left. The thoughts that he was going out after games just to meet up with some girl, that on roadies he was finding someone better than her to fulfill his need. Deep down she knew none of this was true, that Mat was as loyal as they came. But once again, that never stopped her mind.

It was playoff time, he was going back and forth between his home and Raleigh. After tonight, she knew that he would want to go out but the text never came. The text that always told her that he was going to the bar or the club, the text that asked her if she wanted to go with him even when knowing the answer was a ‘no’, the text that said he loved her and he would be home to cuddle her as soon as he could.

This wouldn’t have been the first time he had forgotten to text and normally, she wouldn’t have reacted like this. It was different for some reason this time, in a way that she was panicking more, overthinking more, and sweating more. It just felt different for her. 

When he got home, he blindly threw his keys on the counter and started to take off his jacket as he called out, “Baby? I’m home.”

His shirt was unbuttoned at the top and a little wrinkled, his hair messy and a little sweat dripped from his forehead. He looked into the living room and furrowed his brows in confusion when he realized his girlfriend wasn’t sitting there. He went to move to the bedroom but then he heard her footsteps softly patter down the hallway. 

He smiled when she came into view, wrapped in one of her cardigans and the sleeves pulled over her hands, dressed in her leggings and one of his old t-shirts with slippers on her feet. But, his smile was quickly wiped when he realized she wasn’t mirroring his expression. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Where were you?”

He was taken aback by the harshness of her tone. He didn’t think he had done anything, he had just gone out like he- oh. That’s when he realized, mid-thought, playing back his entire day from when he got up, to when he left, to now. He looked at her, guilt written all over his face, “I am so so so sorry baby. I know I forgot to text, I feel horrible.”

She raised an eyebrow, an unsettling feeling forming in her stomach. While everything in her told her to trust him, she just couldn’t and she hated herself for it. Mat stared at her, unsure of what to say or what to do, and then she spoke, “Where were you?”

“I was at the bar, with some of the guys. You know, celebrating the win.”

She tightened her grip on her sleeves and looked him up and down before turning away and going to sit on the couch. Mat tilted his head a little to the left to show his confusion before ultimately shrugging it off and going to take another shower.

While he showered, she sat there, staring at the TV as thoughts raced through her head. Had he really just been out with the guys or was that just a cover story? Was this the first time he did it? Was there another girl? Stop, y/n. Mat is perfect, Mat loves you, Mat is amazing, Mat wants to be with you. She took a deep breath before reaching for her book and starting to read. 

Mat came out a little bit later, shaking his hair rid of water as he walked down the hallway. He sat next to her on the couch and furrowed his eyebrows once again when she scooted away from him. He attempted to place his hand onto her thigh but she just pushed it away, trying to bury her face further into her book. He now frowned, even more confused as to what was going on, “What’s wrong baby?” 

She turned away from him, shaking her head. There was no need to bother him with her ‘stupid’ thoughts. Her actions made him even more sad, getting up to kneel in front of her and raising his hand to lightly grip her chin between his thumb and his index finger to guide her head so she was now looking at him. However, she cast her eyes downwards, too embarrassed to meet his eyes. 

“Hey, look at me.”

As soon as she lifted her gaze and met his, her cheeks flushed a bright pink. She attempted to look back down again but Mat just clicked his tongue, tsking. Forcing herself to keep his gaze, she continued to fiddle with the ends of her cardigan. Mat moved his hand, brushing her cheek with his thumb, “Talk to me.”

She didn’t say anything for a few minutes, trying to look anywhere but at him. And every time her gaze drifted, Mat would bring it right back to him. Finally, she spoke, “It’s nothing.” 

Her voice was the softest he had ever heard, he had to lean in to hear her a little better. He shook his head when her words finally clicked in his head, “I know there’s something, y/n/n. Please, just tell me.”

“I had this ex…”

He took a deep breath in, nervous about where this conversation was going to go. His free hand flexed before coming to rest on her thigh and this time she didn’t protest the touch. She copied his deep breath and then stared at him, “He cheated on me. And I know you would never do that but you didn’t text and I just thought-”

“Hey, breathe baby. It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.”

“You’re not?”

“No of course not, honey. There is absolutely no reason for me to be mad at you. I understand.”

His thumb rubs small circles on her thigh and she slightly tenses at the movement before relaxing again. She nodded and leaned into his hand that still sat on her cheek, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

She shrugged, “For being clingy. I don't want you to have to feel like you have to text me every time you go out without me.”

He leaned up and kissed her head, “It’s no big deal. If it makes you comfortable and safe I will go out of my way every time to do it.”

She gave him a small smile, “I love you.”

“I love you, now come on. I think I deserve some game-winning cuddles.”

She giggled as Mat dragged her into their bedroom, “I guess.”

“Hey!”

⬂ 𝗠𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗲𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗧𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ⬂

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[milliumizoomi]

Hello, I was thinking Armando Aretas x Reader. Where Reader was sleeping, and she felt the bed dip and noticed that Armando was on top her with his head on her chest and he was slightly crying because he had nightmare and Reader comforts him because he deserves the whole world. She also kisses his head and playing with his hair.

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

☆彡SUMMARY.; In which the night is unforgiving to Armando, so you do everything in your power to help him.

☆彡FEATURED.; ARMANDO ARETAS x FEM! READER

☆彡TROPE.; ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP

☆彡FORMAT.; ONE SHOT

☆彡GENRE.; FLUFF + ANGST + HURT ➪ COMFORT

☆彡WARNINGS.; mentions of nightmares, mentions of death, mentions of anxiety, mature language, actions of crying and vulnerability, fear of being left behind, google translated spanish, and slight bad boys for life spoilers.

☆彡NOTES.; oooo babes this requestttt omg I love it🥹🥹,, the vulnerability of him is something that I’ve always liked so I’m soooo happy to write this. Tysm for this request and I hope I’ll be able to portray it good. I hope you all enjoy!!💕💕

[P.S.] HE USES THE TERM MAMA AS A FORM OF ENDEARMENT, its holds the same weight as the terms babe or baby would.

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED😉.

🎧FOR THE BEST EXPERIENCE, YOU CAN LISTEN TO RIGHT MY WRONGS by BRYSON TILLER🎧

The rain beat down on the glass windows of your apartment. It was currently 2:33 am and you were sound asleep, softly breathing in the tranquil of deep slumber.

Between the pitter patter of the rain hitting the windows, and the soft and gentle vrring of the air conditioning, you couldn’t help the calming sounds that kept you in a deep state of sleep.

However, the man beside you couldn’t fare the same.

Armando had been tossing and turning all night.

At one point he woke up in a cold sweat. He looked over at your sleeping form, softly snoring away and he didn’t want to bother you because he’s hates the feeling of vulnerability in any situation. So he sucked it up and tried to go back to sleep.

By now another 2 hours have passed and it’s by now you’re beginning to stir in bed. You felt the bed dip beside you but thought nothing of it, thinking Armando was just doing something, or simply sitting up in bed so you tried shifting in bed and going back to sleep.

That was until you felt a sudden dip in the bed right next to you, and then a sudden weight on your body. Your eyes shot open and you look down to see a little mop of hair in your face. It wasn’t the weight of his body on top of yours that startled you, it was the fact that your shirt was dampening as he was hiding is face in your chest.

He was crying. And he never cries.

Immediately you began to worry and sat up as he was holding onto you, following your body up. He was holding onto you so tightly that his grip was threatening to pull you back down.

“Baby..? Are you okay?” You caress his head softly as the worry in your voice was evident. He didn’t answer, opting to hold onto you tighter. “Baby please talk to me.. what’s wrong?” You scrape your fingers through his hair gently in order to calm him down.

Finally he looks up at you and you see his red watery eyes and dried tears in his cheeks, with more tears threatening to spill down them. Immediately your hands shoot up to his face and caresses his cheeks.

“Dime qué pasa bebé. Estoy aquí y te escucho.”

Finally he looks at you and holds onto you tighter. You feel his body slightly shaking and your worry continues to grow.

“..had a dream you got shot.. took a bullet for me and i just kinda.. stood there and let it happen… I didn’t react fast enough and you just dropped and I..—“ he starts and then chokes up.

“Shh baby I’m here.. I’m here with you.. I didn’t go anywhere, I didn’t die”

You caress his head and pulls him impossibly closer to you, comforting him the best you can by reassuring words and kisses, littering them all over his face. He just surrenders to your actions, wanting nothing more than just being close to you in this moment.

“Did the nightmare just happen?” You ask him. Wordlessly, he nods his head no and you can feel his body convulsing, as to hold back his tears. You gently rub his back, and proceeds to slide back down into a laying position with his head still on your chest.

Your heart ached seeing him like this.

“Should’ve woken me up babe.. you know I’d help you” you say softly into his hair, simultaneously kissing the top of his head.

“..didn’t wanna bother you” he says back.

You furrow your eyebrows at this. “You’ve never bothered me baby.. if it happens again, wake me up okay?”

He nods and hugs around your waist tighter.

This went on for a couple more minutes and you could tell it was extremely painful for him to talk about.

Everytime he’d try to explain in detail what happened in his dream, he’d get choked up again and you couldn’t stand to see him hurt so much anymore.

“You don’t have to say anything else okay? Nothing at all.. I won’t leave you by yourself.. I won’t die on you.. te prometo que” you say softly, pulling his head up from your chest with both of your hands then plants a kiss on his lips, using your thumbs to wipe away the tears escaping his eyes.

He leans into the kiss, closing his eyes and the furrowing his eyebrows, a tendency he has a lot. You pull away and he stares into your eyes.

“No puedes volver con eso mamà.. you promised”

You smile at him and then kiss him again. “I’m not going anywhere babe.. I promise.. hasta el fuego”

He finally cracks a small smile at your words, a little bit of peace comes with what you just said to him.

He rests his head back into your chest.. mimicking the same words back to you.

“Así es mamá.. hasta el fuego”

The rest of the night is filled with the same pitter pattering of the rain hitting the windows, and the gentle sound of the AC filling the space, except this time, the man you love so deeply is resting on your chest, the steady beating of your heart reassuring him that you are here, and still with him.

That you go won’t anywhere.

And you in turn use your fingers to comb through his hair, scratching his scalp gently and playing with his hair, occasionally kissing his head and caressing his body to soothe him back to sleep.

You had already made up your mind that you wouldn’t sleep until he fell asleep.

Between the beating of your heart, your touches and the rain outside, it didn’t take long for the man resting on your chest to drift away into slumber.

And you in turn smiled, happy that he can now get the rest he deserves, knowing that you won’t be going anywhere, unless it’s with him.

[GLOSSARY]

“Dime qué pasa bebé. Estoy aquí y te escucho.” — Tell me what's wrong baby.. i'm here and i'm listening

“..—te prometo que” — I promise you that

“No puedes volver con eso mamá..” — you can’t go back on that mama

“hasta el fuego” — to the fire or til we burn

“Así es mamá” — that’s right mama

ミ★

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[akirathedramaqueen]

Some thoughts on the Western Energy trainwreck

Soo, I've come across that post, and... it made me thinking.

Stolas spent there the whole time, not knowing Blitzø *did*, in fact, send help. He assumed he was all alone, although still had some resemblance of hope, a fragile straw he hang on to piss off Striker, allowing to tear up only when one didn't look at him.

And... hell, I used to see many comments about how Blitzø let him down there... But did he?

Oh course, some think he did, and he surely thinks he did, too. But, although the whole sequence with him and Loona trying to get that S.H.O.T. was a fucking circus and looked like a joke compared to suffers Stolas had to endure and barely survive...

To be honest, these scenes being put together on surface do, in fact, make it think that the whole Stolas being on the verge of death ordeal is a joke to Blitzø and he would rather spend time running around with big needles and stuff.

If to get back to the phone convo between them at the beginning of the episode, Blitzø mentions that it took him 5 years to book that appointment, and it means a lot for him to not miss it. Missing out on that shot meant to put Loona in potential danger, his daughter, and, although we don't know what kind of shots they were talking about, we know for sure what does missing out on a vaccine schedule could mean in the real world - we tend to forget how dangerous polio, for instance, is, as most of us have access to the vaccine and don't get to experience it not even themselves, but in close vicinity as well. For us, vaccines might seem to be some kind of stupid routine, something we got comfortable with in a privileged world, something which surely could be skipped for a day, right? But in Blitzø's one they are luxury.

Despite all of that, I also want to put your attention to the fact that he wasn't going to ignore it. He is speeding up, and I think (although it's not expressed explicitly, but not everything should be, right?), that he already made up his mind that Stolas is a priority.

You are not thinking it's about shots, right? He wasn't that reckless in driving before *that* call.

And! He wasn't even the initiator of Millie and Moxxie going instead of him. *M&M's* were.

And Blitzø trusts them, because why not? They are his employees, they are skilled and capable, and they are his friends as well, they know that shit is important to him (although he isn't willing to admit it himself).

We see also, how Stolas was admitted to the hospital immediately, which already gives a hint on how different their stance in the world is. I wonder sometimes how it would've turned out if Stolas proposed to Blitzø to use the royal influence to get another appointment shortly after Blitzø saves him, but we know he didn't get much time to even think about that. He wasn't even able to finish the sentence before Striker took his phone off him.

To be honest, I don't think the outcome itself would have been much different. I don't think Blitzø would've done a better job at saving Stolas, but, maybe, only maybe, he would've felt better because he was, at least, there for him.

Because you know that shit is going to haunt him till the day he dies. Because it only reassured him that he isn't capable of sticking around for his people.

Because, you know... happened once already.

No wonder he left Stolas's message on "read". Knowing all things before and after, it's not a surprise that he, tending to take all of responsibility for all the wrongs on himself more than he should to, couldn't face the consequence of what he thinks he failed in. He, speaking figuratively, left Fizz on "read" for 15 years, and he kinda sorted it out only because he couldn't run anymore and had to face the trauma as circumstances didn't give him a chance to chicken out.

I wonder what he was trying to tell Stolas. But I don't think we will ever get to learn that.

Aw, crap, I am done here, I am going to go and cry for a little bit. Thanks for coming to my ted talk, see ya in like 5 minutes to experience some Full Moon trauma again, because I can't get over these two. XD

[cvntycunt]

no contact ｡･ ˚ ‧

I masterlist

I word count: 1.7k

I rafe's girlfriend, also known as your best friend. you have been best friends since you were kids, you did everything together. when the summer after freshman year rolled around, you got roped into the wrong crowd, rafe’s crowd. you did drugs, partied, did things maybe teenagers should not have done. but it was that night that changed everything, the night you had sex with your best friend's boyfriend and shipped yourself off to boarding school the same night.

it was 6:00am when your alarm went off. you groaned, stretching out your arms, you grabbed your phone and pressed the stop button before getting up. you glanced down on your phone to see 100+ messages from rafe. frowning in distress. you sat your phone on your bedside table and got up, turning your bedroom door knob to go to the bathroom. you closed the door and brushed your teeth, after brushing your teeth you grab the hairbrush. running strokes through your hair with it. you sat the hairbrush back down and walked out, heading back to your room.

after taking a shower, walking back into your room you picked up your phone on your bedside table, you click on the notification as your phone scans your face, you start scrolling through the messages he had left you when you were asleep. you think of what to say, you were tired of the miscommunication. you start typing,

you: "wanna meetup at my house at ten?"

you send it without thinking.

you switch apps to spotify playing music, deciding to put on lana del rey, you set your phone down on your bedside table heading over to your closet, you decide to pull out a tank top from your drawer, and then finding some grey sweatpants to go with it. you you slide off the towel and get dressed.

after hearing a notification she went over to hover and see who it was, hoping to be from rafe... and well, it was!

she grabbed her phone and opened it, thinking of something to reply, she wanted to reply quickly so she had to be direct.

after hearing a notification she went over to hover and see who it was, hoping to be from rafe... and well, it was! she grabbed her phone and opened it.

rafe: "finallly yeuj answerer me womaj"

you read it and sighed, you could tell he was drunk, or hungover. you had to talk to him so you didn't really care, you thought of what to say back.

you: "is that a yes"

rafe: "yees"

you thought to yourself if he would be capable of showing up. you waited on your bed while watching euphoria on your laptop.

soon after, you hear your front door swing shut. you close your laptop and slightly open the bedroom door. you open the door and see rafe climbing up the stairs, he was stumbling.

"hey" , you said as he came over to your bedroom. "yoo" he said as you looked up at his gaze, you opened the door more and let him walk in. you were clearly nervous by the look on your face.

"why am i here?" his voice was cold and stern, you didn't know why he was here either. you wanted to apologize but at the same time you wanted to go back to boarding school because it felt easier. all you did was stare at him, and he stared at you. you could hear a pin drop on the floor, that's how quiet it was.

he narrowed his eyebrows, "was there something that you wanted to say?"

you looked like an idiot, you were just standing there, he wanted to get to the reason why he thought you called him over.

there he was again, bridging the gap in between you two. he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him, he leaned down for a kiss, you kissed him back.

his hands slide up your back, his lips moving hungrily against yours. your breathing grows ragged, mingling with each other's as their kiss deepens. rafe’s fingers itch to explore the delicate curves of your body, to feel you beneath his touch. slowly, he breaks the kiss, trailing kisses down your neck, nibbling gently at the tender skin there. his hands find the hem of your shirt, lifting it gently over your head and discarding it on the floor. you do the same with his, you kiss again when you hear a slight knock on your door.

you pull away from rafe and cover his mouth with your finger, silently shushing him. "who is it?" you say. your mom calls out your name, "its me!" you sigh softly in relief, "ella's here, she wants to talk to you." and thats when things got interesting. you were in shock, you didn't know what to do. "im sending her up!" fuck. you push rafe into your closet as he acted confused and shut the door, you pick up your discarded shirt off the floor and slide it on. then you hear another knock on your door.

"come in!" you were shit scared, as the door opened you saw ella. “hey!” she said, smiling. it was weird that she was excited to see you… because you didnt contact her telling her that you were okay for a year. you smiled back at her, shaking. “hey, whats up?” , she sat down on your bed, you took a seat next to her. “nothing. just wanted to come over, rafe was busy today” you gulped.

the talk went well, she invited you to go to tannyhill later for a party. you didn't know if you would make it. so you just told her that you would think about it. "anyway, i gotta go see you later. hopefully..." you rolled your eyes at the snarky comment, you could tell that she had changed from last year. more bitchy.

once she got up she looked around your room to see if anything changed since the last time she had been there, ella took a glance at your floor and saw the white t-shirt on the floor that looked like it could fit a man, ella glanced up back at you.

"whose shirt is that?"

you hugged yourself nervously, "... my dads." you were a bad liar. but she fell for it. she walked out of the room and closed your door shut, you ran over quickly to lock it. after locking it you head over to the window to make sure she had fully left.

"okay.. you can come out."

he stepped out of the closet and began to wrap his arms around your waist and try to get a kiss out of you.

you backed off him, "woah, stop."

"what? she's gone" he saw the look you gave him, "why the fuck did you call me over here if you're not gonna fucking speak." after you didn't say anything back, it made him more angry. "you gonna run off to boarding school again? grow the fuck up."

"excuse me?" you gazed back up at him after staring at the floor for a good thirty seconds.

"what? you gonna run off and come back to play with my feelings and shit, no fuc-"

"i didn't come back for you rafe, god. are you that fucking delusional" you shook your head, "get the fuck out."

"whatever." he said as he started walking out.

-

you were getting ready for the tannyhill party, you were fixing up your lipstick in the mirror when your mother came in, “where are you going?” she says looking at you in the mirror. “out.” you replied, she comes in the room and closes the door. “are you doing drugs again?” you look at her in the mirror, “excuse me? what kind of question is that” your mother looks at her fingernails before replying, “well- rafe was over here today, just curious, that’s all.” your mother exits the room.

-

it was 10pm by the time you finished getting ready, you thought to yourself if you had any old hiding spots in your room. you got up and went to the corner of your room, digging into the floorboards for an opening and finding nothing. you went to another spot and revealed a tin of mints, but it wasn't mints in there. it was we*d

twenty minutes later

you turned off your light and went downstairs, your parents gave you a look as you opened and walked out the front door closing it behind you. you walked three blocks to tannyhill.

you were rocking side and side, finally noticing that the high hit you. you arrived outside making through the gate that seems familiar, you saw everyone outside drinking and distant chatters. you made it inside and walked around bumping into people as they were trying to get past you.

you walked over to the backyard and heard a familiar voice call your name. “yoo, you wanna do some lines with us?” kelce said to you, “i dont do that shit anymore.” you replied, “dont be such a pussy” topper looked up at you.

you narrowed your eyebrows as you sat down next to them before pulling out a one hundred dollar bill before doing a line

-

after a couple lines you glanced up to see rafe and elle come downstairs and out to the backyard, rafe looked at you and you looked at him back. “hey girl whats up!” ella said to you as she got closer, “nothing much.” as ella was talking to you you couldnt help but see rafe making short glances at you.

ella noticed the way rafe was looking at her, it made her feel insecure. she gave you both a look before walking off. you gulped, feeling like you had to throw up you ran upstairs into an empty bedroom with a bathroom attached, running for the toilet.

-

a few minutes later you hear two people enter the room, you had just got done throwing up. you tried to hide in a spot where they werent gonna see you.

“is there something going on between you two?” ella shouted at rafe, “what? bro your delusional.” rafe replied, it made her feel like shit, “i saw the way you were looking at her, im not stupid rafe.” she turned around and walked out.

you took a few hits of your dab pen before walking out to see rafe sitting on the bed, “what happened, are you okay?” you said to him as you walked closer to him, “sit on my lap.” he replied to her before looking up at her to meet her gaze.

| three

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

I think people bash Moon and Qibli a bit too much for the vase seen aka the scenes where Winter gets mad at them for trying to defend Darkstalker. Now I want to make it clear that I am not saying what Moon or Qibli is wrong because it was but this scene basically put on full display both Moon and Qibli's character flaw. Moon is overly forgiving and doesn't like confrontation if she could stop an argument or something bad from happening she would. This is what makes her compelling and so different than so many other dragons is the fact that she is willing to try and stop an escalation without violence and forgives dragons the problem is that she takes it to far and Darkstalker knows this.

Darkstalker knew about Moon's non-confrontational and forgiving nature and took advantage of it. Darkstalker lied making himself seem like a good dragon downplaying his awful actions while telling Moon a rose tinted version of what he wants. Moon being trusting and socially stunted from being raised in a rainforest by herself wants to trust Darkstalker and give him a chance thinking he has changed. This is what Darkstalker counted on being nice and friendly to Moon while hiding all the bad things he's done, and because of this when Winter tells Moon the truth she can't believe it, she doesn't want to believe that the dragon she considers a friend is doing such horrible things. I really can't say this enough Darkstalker knows this about Moon and did this intentionally because it's similar to what he did to Clearsight and Fathom he's a manipulator and Moon not really having a lot of social experience/interaction is falling for this.

For Qibli it's the fact he wants to be liked by everyone. Qibli's need to be liked by everyone is why he sided with Moon when Winter confronted her about Darkstalker it's because he wants to be liked her. It's why he gets so sad when Winter says he can't be friends with Qibli if he thinks Darkstalker enchanting dragons to like him is good, it's because he realizes that he can't protect Moon's feelings and okay the both sides card and because a part of him think that an enchantment to make dragons like you isn't bad because of how badly he wants to be liked by everyone. Also I don't want to leave out the fact that Darkstalker got the make everyone like me enchantment idea from Qibli.

As for Winter I don't really have much to say besides he was angry but rightfully so. He left behind the Ice kingdom for the Jade Winglet now and now Moon is trying to avoid the conflict and say that Darkstalker wouldn't do that not knowing about the make everyone like me spell and Icewing plague until Winter reaches his limit and tells Moon and Qibli a hard truth they needed to hear.

I also feel like Darkstalker used the fact that Darkstalker was busing Qibli's people pleaser mentality, Moon's unawareness, non-confrontational, and forgiving nature against Winter's more confrontational nature to drive a wedge between the Jade Winglet. Cause remember when under the mountain he has been reading everyone's minds for a long time so he has a good understanding on how they work and combined with Darkstalker's manipulative personality he would use this information to his advantage to break apart the Jade Winglet and isolate them to he could manipulate or trick them more.

If you want to break from canon a bit you can have this play out exactly the same but have Moon go out and try to find Winter. Qibli would then follow to help and when they find him Winter would try to get them to go away but Moon would apologize for defending Darkstalker. Explaining how she didn't know about the Icewing plague and enchantment to get everyone to like him (which she was excluded from because of skyfire and because Darkstalker wanted to make a friend the real way with Moon) and explain how Darkstalker tricked her how he manipulated her into thinking he has changed and that he was her friend after and by saying of anyone found out about her powers they would hate her and how even still he's still hiding things from her after he got her to trust him in an emotional outburst (like mad at first that turns into crying) because she feels betrayed and tricked.

This would make Winter understand where Moon is coming from and clear up any confusion and misunderstanding on why Moon was defending Darkstalker. It would also make Qibli face more internal struggle about being a people pleaser and make him really think if he is bad or evil for thinking that a spell that would force dragons into liking you is good. He would probably think to himself that he wouldn't be good with animus magic and that this could be why dragons don't like him in a self hating spiral before Moon and Winter notice he's not acting right and snap him back to reality and he apologizes to Winter too.

This way they understand each other more and are now on the same page when it comes to Darkstalker.

Sorry if my ramblings are messy because I am writing this quickly but yeah those are my thoughts. Here is a cookie for those of you that actually read an essay for a confession 🍪🍪🍪

.

[seramilla]

Hmmm after Emily learns the truth about WHO her mothers are, wouldn’t she also want to know how and why they got together? Wouldn’t she want to know the REAL reason behind Carmilla’s fall? And wouldn’t Sera feel obligated to tell her everything (within reason Emily doesn’t have to hear about their love life) because she’s kept Emily in the dark for so long now Sera must face these bright and unbearable realities. Like how she had to hide her pregnancy from the elders. How different Carmilla is from the slander spread by the elders. And Emily notices an unsettling trend with each answer she receives. The elders keep coming back as a point of conflict.

This is slowly turning into a merger with the Homophobic Heaven/Carmilla Fell Later AU, because I am really enthralled with the idea of how Carmilla fell in that timeline, not as a follower of Lucifer, but because she loved Sera so much. These two may eventually be one and the same AU, so just a heads-up if you're noticing a lot of similarities between the two. My brain was already rolling with angsty thoughts of how to describe Carmilla's falling to Emily, and it just came out that way. I may end up making a fic out of this somehow, if I can wrangle the two timelines together and make it make sense. There's just something about Carmilla and/or Sera having a secret daughter, combined with religious guilt and convoluted, angsty confessions of love for their children that gets me in a WAY. Tell me I'm not the only one!

"How did you and Carmilla meet, Mom?"

Emily's been asking a lot of questions lately. That's to be expected -- the very nature of Emily's relationship with Sera has been turned on its head. The younger Seraphim is making up for a lifetime of not knowing how she really fits into Sera's life, and it's the least Sera can do to fill in the blanks for her.

This particular question makes Sera smile a little. She hasn't thought about how she met Carmilla in so long. She has so many fond memories of those times...probably the only truly wonderful, carefree days she's had since Carmilla fell.

"I had just been appointed High Seraphim," Sera says. "It was only me back then. Carmilla was in charge of Heaven's holy arms. They weren't called Exorcists yet...this was before Adam took over, before Lucifer fell...even before the Garden was a place humans could dwell. Carmilla and I were both so young, and I was what you might call...a workaholic. I was stubborn in my ways, and only cared about making Heaven perfect. That's what I was created for. It was a lonely existence."

Emily is listening to Sera with rapt attention. The younger Seraphim has never known Heaven to be without its strict enforcers, without Winners, without all the pomp and circumstance of the nobles and elders who would bring down the proverbial hammer on anyone caught getting out of line.

Sera thinks, things had so much simpler back then. Right had been right, wrong had been wrong, and nuance did not yet exist.

Until Carmilla had taught her differently.

"Carmilla was always a dreamer, like Lucifer. She was also much too smart for her own good. Always inventing things, imagining things...wonderful things, but also things that could kill an angel, if she wasn't careful. That's how we were introduced. She was experimenting with some new contraption she'd built...something she probably shouldn't have been testing so close to a noble's house, if I'm being honest. Some Dominion angel or another who would throw a fit if even one of the flowers in his garden got trampled."

Emily giggles. She knows exactly the types of angels Sera is talking about. The uppercrust of angelic society. The Lord's favorites.

"There was a complaint filed by this particular...individual, and when I arrived to investigate, Carmilla and this gentleman were...having a bit of a spat out in an empty field. It looked like a few punches had been thrown, because they were both covered in scrapes and bruises. The moment I laid eyes on her...I knew she was going to be trouble."

Emiliy gasps. "They did not! Did he hit her?!"

"Oh, I'm sure he did, but you should have seen the other fellow...he was in much worse shape than Carmilla was."

This particular memory sends warm, mushy pangs of fondness directly to Sera's heart. Even though she hadn't thought it at the time...she'd always admired Carmilla's ability to defend herself. To not take any bullshit from anyone for any reason.

"I asked what was going on, and the Dominion complained that this 'ruffian soldier' was experimenting with deadly weapons on his property. When I asked if this was true, Carmilla didn't even attempt to deny it. She made me aware that it wasn't his property, though, and come to find out, she was right. He had tried to remove her by force, and she had retaliated. In the end, both were charged with misdemeanor crimes. Carmilla spent a few days in a jail cell...her sentence would have been longer, but I pulled some strings to get her out early. Heaven's army couldn't be without its commander, after all."

Emily shoots Sera a particular look. Like she knows Sera probably had ulterior motives, that had absolutely nothing to do with Heaven's army, and everything to do with the fact that Sera was fond of Carmilla.

"Uh huh. Suuuuure, I totally buy that excuse. There was no other reason for you to get her out?" Emily quips.

"Well...yes, but I didn't know it at the time! We had just met, and I...I felt sorry for her! It didn't have anything to do with love yet."

"Yet," Emily repeats, grinning like a maniac. "You are so transparent, Se--Mom! It's not even funny!"

Sera rolls her eyes in defeat. "Fine! Yes, something about her was...intriguing, even back then. And as soon as they let her out, she came directly back to me...to thank me, so she said. But...she started coming back every day! And I let her! It was all downhill from there..."

"OoOooOooh! You liiiiiked her!" Emily starts poking into Sera's sides, jibing at her mother to just admit what she's slowly building up to saying anyway. Sera turns toward her and starts jabbing at Emily with her fingers instead. Emily giggles, shouting, "I give! I give!" when Sera won't let up.

Sera smirks. "Now are you going to let me finish?"

"Yes! Just get to it, already!"

"As I was saying..." Sera starts, looking over at Emily to make sure she won't interrupt again. Emily swipes over her lips like she's locking something up tight, and pretends to throw away the key over her shoulder.

"Thank you. As I was saying...Carmilla started coming to visit me every day. At first, it was to thank me with words...then gifts...then invitations to go out on the town. To treat me, she said. I had never once been on a...date, before, even though we never called it that. We would never use those words within earshot of anyone. And before too long...she admitted she had feelings for me, and I didn't know how to respond. I shut her out, denied it, for so long. But she was stubborn. She never gave up on me. And eventually...Heaven, it was probably years, or decades later, after we'd fought and made up about it several times. Eventually, she convinced me that she really loved me...and I had to admit to myself that I loved her back."

Sera pauses for just a moment, reliving the memory in all of its warm, fuzzy details, and then looks over at Emily, who is staring back at her, eyes huge and glossed over, like she's about to cry. She's holding her hand over her mouth, to keep from interrupting again. Sera smiles at her.

But then Sera looks down, at her lap, and braces herself. She knows the tone of her story is about to take a dark, desolate turn...she's readying herself for it, so she can get past these painful memories for her daughter...so her girl will finally know the truth.

"Carmilla and I loved each other very much. I felt guilty about it, at first. Heaven had always taught me that same-sex relationships were dirty, and wrong, and sinful...but over time, she taught me there was nothing remotely wrong with what we had. And I believed her. How could there be anything dirty about us loving each other with everything we had, heart, body, and soul?"

Sera pauses again. Things are about to go south pretty quickly, and she's readying herself, and Emily for it -- for real, this time.

"We had...well, we did things that people in love do. It went on like that for years. Maybe we got cocky, or weren't careful enough, thinking we would never get caught. But someone must have seen us, at some point...or put two and two together. They never implicated me in the act...but someone told the elders Carmilla had a female lover. They took her into custody immediately. They did...so many horrible things to her. Tortured her. I begged with her to come clean, and just tell them it was me, and maybe I could get us both a lesser sentence for cooperation or good behavior. But she wouldn't have any of it."

Sera is the one crying now. Toward the end of that last statement, her voice wavers, and tears start falling down her face in rivers. The old wounds in her heart are slowly being ripped open again at the telling of this story, bleeding anew. She does her best to keep it together, for Emily. But reliving these memories is not easy for her, no matter how much she wants Emily to know.

"They gave her a sham trial. Everyone knew the result before it ended. Lucifer had fallen not long before this, so I knew what was coming before it happened. I watched them...I watched them push her. She fell, right over the edge, like she was nothing. She was my everything. They made an example of her...a spectacle of her. Just like they did with Lucifer and his followers. And right before she went down, she told me she loved me one last time. And then she was gone. And somehow, that made it so much worse."

Sera is actually sobbing now. Crying ugly, wet tears into her hands, trying to keep Emily from seeing, so she doesn't have to watch her mother break down in front of her. Emily rushes toward her, hugging Sera tightly around her shoulders. Sera leans into the smaller angel, letting Emily carry some of her weight...along with the weight of her sorrow and pain, that she's been keeping to herself for all these years.

When she's managed to calm down a bit, Sera continues her story. The next part is much happier...as happy as it could be possibly be, at least, after having just watched her partner receive a fate worse than death.

"What made it so much worse was that the same day that she fell, I found out I was pregnant with you. I had just lost my love, my light, my reason for being...and suddenly I had to find new purpose again, in order to keep you safe, and hidden. I hid away for a while, as best I could, and kept you a secret from the elders until you were born. I claimed that I'd commissioned you, from the same place that I was forged, because with all the new Winners entering Heaven, I needed an assistant. They were so gullible, never imagining I would double-cross them like that. So I raised you as my sister...as my heir. And that's how we wound up here."

Emily has been sitting in silence for a long while by this point, and she continues to be silent, in heavy contemplation, for several moments after Sera concludes her story. Sera reaches over, and rubs her hand against Emily's face. Emily looks up at her, and then holds Sera's hand against her cheek to ground herself.

"Thank you for telling me all this," Emily says, voice a mournful and somber timbre, like she's been reliving all these moments right along with Sera. "I'm sorry for making you...have to recount all those painful moments. But I understand now, why you did what you did. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Mom. I can't even begin to imagine how awful that was. I love you so much."

Emily starts to cry then, too, and Sera pulls her into her arms, and they just sit and hold each other for a while, and cry together, mother and daughter.

"I care about you so much, my love," Sera says. "You were the reason I held on for so long. You are my everything now, Emily, in her absence. You saved me. I could never imagine my life without you in it."

[oneofstarkskids]

so high school (part 3)

part 1, part 2

genre: fluff

summary: high school au!! how is bucky supposed to break it to you that everything that's happened started with a lie?

bucky didn't know how long he could keep it up. the whole facade. he actually had to scramble to hide his report card from you.

you weren't his dad. he shouldn't be afraid of you seeing his grades.

but he was finally spending time with you. could he have made things simple and just asked you out like a normal person? no. this was more fun.

plus it's not like anyone was getting hurt. he was passing all his classes as usual. the only down side seemed to be the lying. he would have to tell you eventually...right? or maybe he could just...

he started to envision it. the two of you sitting on a deck with james junior in your lap. "and that's how mommy met daddy. because he's dumb as a rock."

or in the later years. "do you need me to organize your pills, honey?" bucky would probably roll his eyes, "i can count, doll."

okay so maybe he was overthinking, but that didn't mean that all of this couldn't turn into a problem. besides, he wanted to be honest with you.

relationships shouldn't be built on lies. so bucky decided to tell you the truth.

he met you in the library, like he'd done almost every day this week. he noticed the sullen expression on your face immediately.

"what's wrong?" he asked. you didn't have any problem telling him. the two of you had become sort of, close.

"it's my friend sam. he said he was working yesterday, but i saw someone post him on their story at some hangout," you sighed. "it doesn't matter. he can hang out with whoever he wants. i just can't believe he lied to me."

bucky froze. oh. shit.

"we're best friends. i don't understand why he felt like he couldn't tell me the truth. it hurts, you know," you said. and because bucky did know, he looked down at the table.

"i have to tell you something."

you study his expression. not that it was difficult, bucky was usually an expressive person. he seemed a bit nervous.

"i was never going to fail," he said quietly.

you frowned. "what?"

bucky tried to explain, "i was never getting kicked off the team. i've never failed a class. math and science are actually my strongest subjects."

bucky couldn't stop imagining the look of betrayal that was probably on your face. it took a lot for him to look up to meet your eyes.

but when he did, you were...smiling?

you suddenly laughed like it was all ridiculous. bucky didn't know how to react. and he had sisters, so he knew that your laughter could turn into a lecture at any moment.

"why?" you managed between wheezes.

bucky thought back to the beginning of it all, "well, i liked you for a really long time. all my friends were saying i should ask you out, but i guess i was too scared."

"you were scared?" you couldn't understand how someone like bucky barnes could be insecure for even a moment.

yet, he nodded.

"so you decided to create an elaborate plan to spend all this time with me instead of just asking me on a date?" you asked.

bucky chuckled with embarrassment, "maybe i am stupid after all."

you shook your head, "i don't think it's stupid. i think it's cute."

he turned a bright shade of pink that had you feeling confident.

you smirked, "but don't think that means you're getting out of that date."

[jesswritesthat]

Miya Osamu: Slammed

Fandom: Haikyuu!! — [ Masterlist ]

Summary: ~700k, fluff, humour

• First aid was not where you expected to be, and that’s only your first encounter with the famous Miya twins.

Warnings: Swear word, a nosebleed

>>>>——————————>

Osamu has waited for this moment all his life, in fact he's surprised it hasn't already happened multiple times - but it's one thing to cross off of his bucket list.

Atsumu slams a volleyball into a the face of a beautiful person.

More accurately: Atsumu looks like a damn fool in front of a beautiful person.

It's the sheer grovelling, combined with painful stammering that has Osamu smirking like a madman. Honestly part of him knows he should be more considerate but this was Atsumu he's talking about, he's got to take joy in the little things (like his twins' overwhelming panic).

Osamu made his way over to his counterparts’ heavy but hilarious mistake, the person the Inarizaki setter hit soon discovered to be you.

With a hand covering your nose you consistently batted away the incessant fretting of the blonde twin who looked like he was about to cry. Mortified was an understatement.

"I'm so sorry! God I just caught the ball wrong and it went spinning at ya'. Are ya alright?"

"I'm fine, let me—"

"Ya not! Ya might be bleeding, lemme just—"

"Tsumu!" The second a hand lurched the blondes shoulder, he was gone and replaced by a far calmer silhouette.

"Allow me." A palm was offered toward your upper arm but halting before touching you until you nodded. "I'm gonna take you to the locker room, ya won't be bothered by annoying brats whilst we check ya over."

So you allowed the other Miya twin to guide you in the direction of their club room whilst ignoring the volatile comebacks he'd received from the blonde.

"Am I supposed to be in here?"

"I think our Captain will let it slide considerin' yer condition." Osamu calmly answered, more occupied with reaching for the first aid box on top of a locker set.

"My co—" Just as you'd said that, you'd noted the smears of scarlet painting your hand once removing it from your face. "Oh damn."

"That's all yer got to say?" There was a hint of amusement there as he sifted through the first aid kit acquiring necessary materials.

"You're not bothered by blood?"

"Nah, seen enough of it fighting with 'Tsumu. Anyway, can I sort it out for ya?" Before you knew it he was knelt before you with material perched between his fingers - almost as though proposing to you with a cotton ball. Shaking that left field thought away with an embarrassed smile you stuttered your reply.

"Uh sure, thanks."

That's how you ended up alone in the VBC locker room with Miya Osamu caressing your face with far gentler touches that you believed him capable of despite the contrasting sting of antiseptic. Realistically, you couldn’t blame yourself for getting lost in a fantasy…

"Your eyes are like melted platinum."

But you’d defiantly blame that stupid spoken comment on the hit to the face. What were you thinking?!

"What?"

Already you were out of his reach, one step from the door only spinning around in surprise to reply to him.

"I said I feel better, gonna go—"

"Wait up."

"Hm? Oh does it look it good?" You felt it was painfully obvious you were putting on a carefree facade, especially when you playfully posed to emphasise the nose plaster with a pretty smile.

"Somethin' like that."

Then you were gone, hand covering both your taped nose bridge and your heated skin from the remnants of Inarizaki. Atsumu was quick to skid into your path and catch you in his arms though - another apology on his tongue.

"I'm all bandaged up, please don't worry!"

"Lemme make it up to ya though—"

"Aha no need, just win the next game. Bye!" You'd slipped around him, seemingly in a rush to escape but the setter was distracted by the reappearance of his twin.

"What did ya do in there?! (L/n) ran out like lightning!"

"D'ya think my eyes are like platinum?"

"Huh?! I think ya blind dumbass!"

"I'm not the one who took out..." How did he not ask your name?! "Tell me ya know who that was!"

"Dunno, why'd you care so mu— oh ya caught a crush huh?" Admittedly Atsumu was caught off guard by the sudden demand but that was quickly replaced with teasing intuition.

"No idiot, ya should check on 'em tomorrow if yer not a complete asshole."

"I was gonna anyway!"

"Liar." A dangerous glare was sent toward his twin, Osamu already one step ahead. "Ya don't even know who they are."

"Yes I do, I'll prove it ‘Samu."

Now he could just let Atsumu do all the work, but then a concerning thought crossed his mind, and he couldn't help his next challenging words.

"Not if I find 'em first."

<——————————<<<<

[cowboy-heart]

'interview with a butch' - a fake interview reflecting on butch-femme dynamics! inspired by the amazing piece by @llovely, which you can read here :)

(ID below read more)

[an original, interview-style poem called 'interview with a butch':

when did you know you were butch? I knew by the time I was sixteen, but that’s only when I found the word. I’ve been butch since the day I was born, at least since I was just a few months old and threw an earth-shattering tantrum whenever my mum tried to put me in a dress. (both laugh) your poor mum!

I remember being a little butch knight, chivalrous even before I was double digits. my best friend only lived up the road from school, but her parents were running late and she was scared to do it herself. so I walked her up the hill, her arm linked in mine, pride balancing on my chest. and when I got her to her door, I said that we should kiss like adults do when they say goodbye, and we took it in turns to kiss each other on each cheek. when I walked home I felt something the size of a boulder in my stomach, but I didn’t know what it meant yet, just that there was something about myself that set me apart.

how did you feel with your first femme? oh, man, even for a writer that’s hard to find the words for. (laugh) let’s put it this way: before I had my first femme, I always felt like something was missing in my relationships – not just in the relationship itself, but in me. I felt broken and wrong, unsatisfied and selfish. I thought that maybe I just had too high expectations or something. hell, even with sex I felt like something was missing, like I couldn’t find my own desire.

But then, then I had my first femme. How graphic can I be here? (laugh) as graphic as you want! okay, good!

watching my stomach hang over my harness, long nails in my hips, I felt like I had a second sexual awakening. I felt the most present in my body I’d ever been, and like I could be in them forever. I didn’t feel dissatisfied, or wrong. when their hand held mine and played with my fingers I felt lightning shoot through me. it was like realising I was a lesbian all over again. but even outside of romance, femmes are my friends, my family, my community. talking to femmes, being around femmes, I’ve never felt so seen and loved. I can handle every sharp look, every slur thrown my way, just because my armour was polished by femmes.

do you find your roles restrictive? they’re liberating. I think sometimes people see me and think that I had to fit into this constrictive box, that I disallowed myself to enjoy anything feminine. the reality is that for butches, we find the word we’ve been searching for our whole lives. I can’t even remember finding the word, isn’t that crazy? it felt second nature. it somehow perfectly described everything I’d ever felt, exposed me to a community of people who were just like me outside of my Tory town! (pause)

I think there’s a tendency even in leftist, LGBT spaces to think that masculinity is oppressive, and femininity is liberating and oppressed. but it’s really not like that. we’re punished for deviating from our assigned gender, whether you’re a masculine woman, or a feminine man, or something in between the two. I’ve had gay men try to convince me to let them do my makeup, I’ve had gay women tell me that they’re “so glad” I don’t have ‘toxic masculinity’ like “other butches”. femininity was a cage for me, something I had to imitate to survive the perils of high school, but it was never me. masculinity liberated me, and it’s not inherently toxic. I love to carry the bags, hold open the doors, cry in pride, protect those I love. and there’s nothing like coming home at the end of the day to a sweet femme, ready to rub my tired muscles. man, I’m not good at concise answers, am I? (both laugh) no, but I love it!

what do you think of people who see your relationship as heteronormative? they’re twats! (both laugh) now, that’s a concise answer! no, no that’s not fair. here’s what I’d say to them:

I see it as…a complex gender performance. no, that makes it sound like it’s play pretend. they’re complex gender…expressions, dynamics, play, desire, euphoria. a butch and a femme together is no more heterosexual than a bear and a twink, a top and a bottom. it’s a dance that we know in our bones, like we knew each other in a previous lifetime and we’re just falling back into our favoured rhythm. even every fumble and awkward gesture is a part of it. we fall into sync and into each other, we tenderise each other’s gender, affirm it, and love every minute of it. we’re not two sides of the same coin, you talk to any butch-femme couple and chances are our priori (edit: interviewee meant propositions) are the same but our conclusions are not; we’re the same side of the same coin, just one is the top of the tail and the other is the bottom of it. is that a euphemism? (laugh) take it as you will!

I’m no man, my femme is no woman, and I’m no less butch when I’m wearing a kiss-the-cook apron and cleaning their kitchen, and they’re no less femme when they’re putting together a shelf or driving me to work. To look at us and see a heteronormative imitation of cisgender predetermination is proof of their own lack of nuance – do you think all dogs are boys and all cats are girls, too? (both laugh)

I think in a lot of ways, butch-femme dynamics are inherently transsexual. or, in the very least, good friends of transgenderism. If you can’t see us for what we are then chances are you’ve got your own internalised gender biases to unlearn.

I’ve always been butch to my bones, but when I’m with my baby I’m on cloud nine. I feel desired, my gender revered and loved.

so, what you’re saying is, you feel seen? I do. we see each other and nurture each other. I’ve never really liked being called ‘beautiful’, but when it falls from the lips of a femme, I know that they’re not seeing me as feminine. I feel most comfortable to explore the depths of both my femininity and masculinity with them; I don’t feel restricted to a role.

maybe that’s what people are missing about it: our homes are temples of gender exploration and devotion.

end ID].

[mactiir]

sword misconceptions pt 1: longsword

Post series: shortsword | rapier | buckler | dagger | spear

so as I'm getting back into fantasy lit as a historical fencer, there are a lot of things I am noticing cropping up in swordfights that are inaccurate or flat out wrong. So i wanted to write a post for my fellow writers putting down a few things I've learned in 2.5 years of swinging the actual weapons around!

Disclaimer: i am not an expert. Additionally, many of the historical terms for weapons were not standardized (there was no "one" longsword/rapier/shortsword etc when we're talking about a weapon that existed for hundreds of years across an entire continent) so what I'm discussing under the cut is specific to the late medieval/early Renaissance European two-handed weapon with a simple hilt/crossguard and with a blade length around 3 feet -- what D&D calls the longsword, or in older editions the bastard sword (although if we want to get picky about it, bastard swords should have shorter handles than longswords -- but I wrote this post as a writing reference so names are beside the point. you can call the swords whatever you want in your story, anyway).

Misconception 1: longswords are heavy.

Older editions of D&D had these weapons at 6 pounds, which is about 2x too heavy. 5e has them at 3 pounds, which is exactly right. Your average longsword is between 2 and 4 pounds, and a well-made one will be balanced such that you barely feel it. Pound for pound, they are heavier than almost all one handed weapons (except some rapiers but we'll talk about that later), but between their balance and the fact you wield them in both hands, their weight is likely not going to be a prohibiting factor for most characters. Everyone who can pick up a wooden baseball bat can pick a longsword up and swing it. A weak or out of shape character will struggle for wielding it for lengths of time, though.

Misconception 2: longswords are slow.

You're 1) thinking of a zweihander and 2)zweihanders aren't slow, either, but we'll get to that later. Longswords, wielded properly in both hands, are lightning fast, with a skilled fencer that's opened their opponent's defense often able to land 2-4 hits before a director even registers the first hit and calls "halt". And there are two components to speed: actual velocity, and distance. Longswords are -- well, long. Even if you can't swing it as fast as a little knife, the fact that it's three feet long means you're closing to target much faster compared with a shorter weapon, because you don't have to do as much footwork to get into, or out of, striking range.

Misconception 3: you can wield a longsword in one or both hands.

I mean, you could. But a one-handed wield robs a longsword of a lot of its dexterity, grace, precision, and yes -- power. You want two hands on this thing. Your dominant hand goes closer to the crossguard and it's what generates your power and edge alignment. Your offhand on or near the pommel is where your dexterity and fine steering is. Switching or removing either of these hands feels weird and you are also way more likely to get disarmed just by trying to parry with one hand.

Misconception 4: swordfights are about dodging.

You have two realistic options when someone is swinging a longsword at you: parry or step out of range. You do not duck. You do not jump. You do not sway, roll, or do backbends. All of these things will 1) rob you of necessary structure to riposte, 2) leave you wide open for a renewed attack or remise, and 3) leave your most important tool for not getting hit -- your SWORD -- too far off target to help you. Yes, all of these things look super cool and may fit depending on your style and setting. But if you're going for realism, YOU PARRY.

Misconception 5: you can be fast or strong but not both.

Ok, this is more a pet peeve about martial arts in general but: you cannot be fast without a certain base amount of muscle. You CANNOT. Small people with no muscle are slow. They have to take huge, looping cuts to compensate for their lack of muscle and leave huge openings while they do it. Small people who do well at the sport are often very quick because they have to train the heck out of footwork to outwork bigger opponents, but that only comes with TRAINING. It's not a "small people are automatically dex builds" thing. And while big muscly guys are often slower, they also 1) have less distance to move to close to target, which makes them "faster" even if they are moving a tad slower and 2) they're also often fast as balls, so you can judge virtually nothing about an opponent based on their body type except for their reach. A good, big longsword fencer will often have really fast handwork because most don't do well in longsword fencing without speed.

Let me know if there are any lingering questions I missed! I may think of more later, but I hope this was helpful for now :)

[melbatron5000]

Two Crowleys

A while ago, the wonderful mind of @noneorother posted this meta about the puppets in the magic shop.

The observation that there appear to be two Crowleys in the shot of the puppet arrangement had me absolutely scratching my head and thinking they must be mistaken somehow.

(pic from @noneorother)

But then I got my hands on some of the Amazon X-ray extras, and discovered these little gems from the album covers in Maggie's record shop:

Now, going back to our color-coding for a moment, we may not know what all the colors in Good Omens mean, and we may not have all the colors down. But we do know a few, and we know that color-coding in Good Omens does exist, and that it matters.

Auburn and vavoom yellow are Crowley's colors. They are the colors of his hair and eyes. Black and scarlet red are the colors he wears. So those four colors are Crowley-coded colors. Okay.

Thus, these two record albums from Maggie's shop are Crowley-colored. Now, notice something important? Well, two things. The first -- Raga Koboj has TWO little sharp-clawed critters peering out at us from behind blinds. I daresay they are meant to be little cartoon demons, yes? And CT Bazz: Dank Balaclava features a face in a red ski mask. People usually wear ski masks if A. it's cold as tits outside, or B. if they're trying to hide their identity. So both albums feature Crowley colors AND images of hiding -- plus one features an image of twinsies.

The other important thing takes us back to color-coding. What other color do we see here besides our well-known Crowley colors? On Raga Koboj, the auburn and vavoom yellow blend into each other -- creating orange between them. And Dank Balaclava features a cigarette being lit -- with a little flair of orange fire.

This leads me to believe two things: Yes, TWO Crowleys. One Crowley in hiding, the other a twin. And that orange is Crowley's secret color.

Where else do we see orange?

Yep, the pillars n Aziraphale's shop. Which we also know is painted Crowley Auburn on the outside and Vavoom Yellow on the inside. With accents of this nice saffron orange on the pillars.

Want more proof? Okay.

Several people have noted that Aziraphale and Crowley keep to each other's right and left, respectively. Aziraphale on the right, Crowley on the left. In season 1, whenever they are on the opposite sides of each other, something's up. Not wrong, necessarily, but not in proper order. As in the image-swap/body-swap. Several people have also noted that Crowley is on Aziraphale's right far more frequently in season 2. And look here:

Aziraphale looks instinctively to his left when Crowley approaches -- only this Crowley, the twin, is not approaching on Aziraphale's left. This happens in more than one scene.

And when Aziraphale introduces Crowley to Nina in the coffee shop in episode one, he says, "This is, um, Crowley." As if he's quickly deciding how to name this individual who looks like his demon but approached on his right. Aziraphale "ums" and hesitates a lot this season, but he's also lying a lot. Hesitation and "um" is one of his tells.

I believe Aziraphale knows this isn't Crowley 1.0. But he acts and talks to this Crowley as if it's Crowley 1.0, so I don't think it's an imposter or someone pretending to be Crowley who isn't. I think Crowley's split himself in two. Am I sure about that? No. But it's where I'm leaning at this moment.

But Crowley 1.0 isn't missing entirely. Look here:

Aziraphale is looking over his left shoulder for his demon, and Crowley's right there, where he should be.

So yeah, TWO Crowleys.

Now where the heck is Crowley while his twin is out walking around on Aziraphale's right side? I really don't know what he might be up to, but I think he's in contact. Reachable, at least.

Let's look at this one again. Who's this?

No, not the guy in the foreground. The guy in the back. No, not the dude wearing tartan, the other guy. The guy in front of the ORANGE pillar, the guy on Crowley-twin's LEFT shoulder.

Is that Crowley 1.0? Or at least, a way for Crowley to be in touch while he's off doing whatever the heck he's doing? I think it is.

Would you like some more proof?

Okay. How about another record album from Maggie's shop?

Back to color-coding again. That baby-blue/red combo seems to indicate Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship together. The baby-blue is the color of Aziraphale's shirt, while the red is one that Crowley wears, mostly around his neck, although it also appears elsewhere in his costuming.

Au Revoir, Fingers! Crowley's just a head now. But a head has ears and eyes, so Aziraphale can communicate with it. As I suspect he tries to here, before Jim interrupts:

But wait. Back to Au Revoir Fingers for a moment. Red Eye Smile?

And red eyes? Fuck me.

A very few people have pointed out that there are lots of dual red taillights in multiple shots, frequently framed rather carefully. I had dismissed it, as I usually do when something turns out to be freaking important.

Someone's watching. I think it might be Crowley 1.0.

Then there's that bit where he's driving back to Whickber street, after coming back from Hell, and he first zooms around a bus with red taillights and says, "There's only room for one of us in this lane and it's not you," then he changes a pair of red stop lights to green and says "Don't you even think about it. There, that's better." Is he arguing with himself?? Telling the Other Crowley that it's his turn right now, not his? Of course I can't find a GIF or picture of that right now, but you know what I mean, right? Neil had to cut a bunch of material out of the finished show to fit Amazon's time limit requirements. That scene would seem to be an easy cut to make -- unless the scene matters to the overall plot too much to cut.

I also suspect that Crowley might be talking to himself in the book shop at the end of season 2. You know, when he turns Aziraphale's chair around to face the right way, but when Maggie and Nina come in it's facing the center of the room again? I suspect Crowley 1.0 and 2.0 had a chat. I do not know about what. Just sharing information?

I also wonder if Crowley 2.0 might have his own POV scenes -- thus confusing the already complicated POV situation even more. The white head statue sure gets several shots where it's in center frame, as if it is the POV character in that scene.

That's what I got, my fellow brain rotters. There's my evidence.

In conclusion: Two Crowleys. Yeah, I think so. Now, for the big question:

WHY???

What is Crowley doing that there needs to be two of him? And is it just twinsies, or is that someone else pretending to be Crowley and I'm wrong? Aziraphale definitely seems to know that's NOT his original Crowley, but tells the demon important information without hesitation, so I'm still suspecting Crowley twinned himself. But what if I'm wrong? Who is it then? And why are they pretending to be Crowley? And why does Aziraphale seem to know it's not Crowley, but still talk to him like it is?

I have no answers.

Thanks for crackpotting and going nuts with me, yet again. I hope this keeps you up at night like it's done me.