#like an annoying bard from a kids movie

[normal-newt]

Sometimes I go through a phase

Called post-exertion malaise.

My spoons have expired

I’m so freaking tired,

That I now need to rest for three days,

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Flower Crowns - Dwalin X Female (Baggins) Reader

Title: Flower Crowns

Dwalin X Female Reader

Additional Characters: The Company, Ori, Kili, Fili, Thorin, Bofur, Balin, Oin (Mentioned), Bomber (Mentioned), Gandalf (Mentioned), Bilbo, Bard (Mentioned), Bard's kids (Mentioned), Alfrid (Mentioned), and the Mirkwood Elves (including Legolas and Tauriel (Mentioned))

Requested By: Anon!

WC: 5,252

Warnings: The Hobbit canon violence/weapons/death/etc, Reader is Bilbo's sister, misunderstandings, broody Dwalin, blood, injuries, nicknames, crying (brief), orcs, death, Ones, giant spiders, movie reference to a different movie (bonus points for those who get it), yelling, angst, and fluff

Trudging up the path with a woven basket of homemade muffins, you made your way up to Bilbo's home. You were a bit late. You were supposed to be at Bilbo's over an hour ago, but you had misjudged when you'd finish your muffins. And you knew how much Bilbo loved your muffins, so you were sure he wouldn't be too annoyed by your tardiness after eating a muffin or two.

Stopping at the door, you let out a small huff before knocking on the round door... Only to receive no answer. You frowned, furrowing your eyebrows before just entering. Pushing the door closed behind you, you heard voices from somewhere else in the Hobbit hole, confusing you even more. Had Bilbo invited others to dinner?

"Bilbo?" You called out, beginning to wander over towards the voices that quickly stopped after you spoke.

But before you could say anything more, Bilbo popped out into the hallway, rushing over to you. "Y/N, I believe we'll have to reschedule dinner." He spoke, rushed as he tried turning you around.

Your frown deepened as you twisted around in his hold, your eyes staring at the circular entrance of the dining room, "What do you mean? Who have you invited over?" Your curiosity was peaked now, and you wanted answers. 

"Nothing! No one! Lovely seeing you!" Bilbo exclaimed, pushing you backward towards the door, ready to get you out. But before he could, you ducked out of his arms and sped towards the dining room. 

You skidded to a halt at the entrance, eyes widening as your jaw dropped slightly. Bilbo sighed, rubbing his face with both of his hands before walking over and standing beside you. Eyes glued to the surprise visitors, you leaned over to Bilbo slightly; eyes unmoving from the surprise guests, "Bilbo... Why do you have thirteen Dwarves and a wizard in your dining room?"

~~~

And that was how you got roped into traveling alongside Bilbo, Gandalf, and the rest of the Company. Gandalf somehow convinced Thorin that having a second Hobbit would benefit the Company. And, unlike your brother, you wanted to go with them. You had read so many books about adventure and heard so many stories... You wanted to get out into the world and go on adventures that you had read in those books. 

During the first few days of the journey to The Lonely Mountain, you became friends with most, if not all, of the Company. Kili and FIli, for example - the two youngest members of the Company - took you under their wing. When Thorin allowed the Company to rest, they would teach you how to defend yourself. Most lessons usually turned into fooling around most of the time, despite Thorin's grumblings. Fili and Kili were fun people to be around. They never failed to make you laugh, which was welcomed when having to face orcs and goblins almost daily. 

Balin was like a father figure to you, always giving worldly and wise advice. Bomber often let you help in the making of breakfast and dinner. Ori, the sweetest of the bunch, would tell you stories, which you eagerly accepted to listen to every time. It gave you something to look forward to. And Oin, when free to do so, would teach you the basics of healing; showing you what herbs and plants worked best for certain ailments, which ones should be avoided, and so on.

You enjoyed each member of the Company's presence, but Thorin and Dwalin were the only two who hardly spoke a word to you. You weren't sure whether it was because they believed you didn't belong in the company, or because they were just not talkers. You hoped it was the latter.

But between the two, you really liked Dwalin. You liked his gruff demeanor - the brooding look on his face - and in addition, you really found him attractive. His muscular build, strong arm muscles, and dark hair; not to mention the tattoos on his arms - you wondered what their stories were. It surprised you, in the beginning, when you finally let the realization sink in. Even Bilbo, the only one that you had told about this attraction - you didn't fully trust Kili and Fili with the information - Bilbo was shocked, to say the least. 

~~~

Walking with Kili and Fili, you snatched up bundles of flowers as you went, weaving and braiding them together into a crown. You had already made one for yourself, and Fili and Kili were quite invested in your creative, colorful craft.

"Where did you learn to create such things?" Fili asked as he watched you bend down, snatching up another flower from the grassy ground.

You shrugged, tying off another flower, "In Hobbiton, of course, Fili, dear," You began, fixing some of the flowers before continuing, "In originality, my mother taught me." You finished, weaving another flower into the crown.

"How does one make such intricate designs?" Kili then asked, twisting the stem of a flower between his fingers in thought. 

You smiled back at him, "Well, it is quite simple, Kili, dear," You began, "You just have to braid the stems of the flowers together. Simple really." You answered, spying on Dwalin near the front of the line - just behind Thorin, you glanced over at the two Princes' beside you, "I'll be just a moment." You spoke before jogging over.

Your smile widened as you matched Dwalin's pace once by his side. Looking over and up at him, he didn't acknowledge your presence. It never bothered you, him ignoring you... You understood that Dwalin was not the type of person to just chit-chat, especially when there were bigger things to do and worry about. Lonely Mountain speaking. 

Finishing the flower crown in your hands, you offered it up to the Dwarf, a bright smile on your face. "I made this for you." You explained softly, the flower crown - made of yellow, white, and red wildflowers - sitting in your hands. 

Dwaling stopped, and so did the rest of the Company. You suddenly felt a wave of anxiety wash over you - all eyes on the two of you - watching as Dwalin slowly turned his head to look down at you, to the crown, and back. And for a moment, you thought that you saw something flash in his eyes, something that wasn’t brooding, determined, or angry. You swallowed, finding yourself unable to take your eyes off his, your ears and cheeks burning as he grumbled and huffed through his nose. You were confused, your hope and happiness dwindling - your hands lowering slowly - as Dwalin turned and continued walking. 

Fully dropping your hands to your sides, you watched him go; feeling completely rejected. You knew that it was stupid. It was just a flower crown... And yet, you still held onto it with all of your heart, clutching it tightly in your hand; unintentionally crushing the flowers beneath your fingers. What did you do wrong? You just wanted him to like you... Tears stung in your eyes, but you refused to cry in front of everyone. 

The rest of the Company soon passed you, some giving you sympathetic smiles, some patting you on your shoulder or back. Fili and Kili stopped beside you, Kili frowning softly, as Fili gave you a pat on the top of your head; careful not to disturb the flower crown on your head. 

"Don't worry, Miss Y/N," Fili spoke, "He'll come around."

Kili nodded, "I assure you, he will." He let out a small chuckle, but you knew he wasn’t laughing at you. That was just him.

You nodded, doubting, but saying nothing more as they turned and followed the group; Bilbo finally coming over. "I'm alright." You muttered, looking up at him. You knew that he was going to ask you if you were alright.

"I'm sorry, Y/N..."

You shook your head, "No, it's okay." You whispered softly, trying to give him the best smile you could give him to ease his worries, "I don't know why I am so caught up in this... I must understand that I'm not really everyone's cup of tea. Not everyone wants to be my friend. If he doesn't want to be friends with me... Then, that's alright." You explained softly. Bilbo stared at you for a long moment before you began walking, dropping the flower crown to the ground. 

~~~

The night was cold, the stars shining brightly down from the sky as you huddled close to Bilbo; next to the fire. It was hard to sleep, still not fully used to sleeping on the woodland ground, but you were getting there. And, soon, you found yourself drifting off to sleep.

Dwalin, on the other hand, having the first night watch, stared into the fire before him. It was quiet, aside from the fire crackling and the crickets chirping. Dwalin seemed to be lost inside his own mind, his eyebrows furrowed, and dark eyes narrowed in thought. Hearing a small grunt and feeling the log under him move slightly, Dwalin glanced over to see Balin sitting beside him. Balin hummed lowly, staring at the fire, rubbing the palms of his hands together.

"She didn't know, Dwalin." He spoke softly, not wanting to wake the others from their sleep, and only getting a deep mumble from his younger brother; at the mention of you, Dwalin's eyes flickered from the fire to your sleeping figure; curled up beside Bilbo. "She does not know of our courtship rituals. I should’ve told her more about our culture." Again, getting nothing from Dwalin, Balin continued, "She only wishes you to speak to her. You have hardly spoken a word to her since leaving Bilbo's home." He stared at his brother's side profile, "You can confide in me, brother."

Dwalin continued his silence, his eyes falling upon you once more. He was conflicted. Ever since he saw you enter the dining room of Bilbo's Hobbit hole, Dwalin had been unable to stop thinking about you. The way you moved and talked... Your features were sharp, yet delicate, your lips pouting, and your hair flowing. You were kind, bright, and soft; everything Dwalin wasn't. Dwalin was rough and tough. He had scars, he had seen death, and he had seen suffering. But, you... He had never seen someone as beautiful as you. You were different. Dwalin sighed deeply, looking away from you. He didn't know how to approach you; he couldn't bring himself to act on his feelings. 

But he knew that you were his One.

He knew the moment he saw you. 

Dwalin hated being vulnerable, and he hated admitting anything to anyone. So he sat, his jaw clenched tight, trying his hardest to fight his growing feelings for you. 

"She's my One." Dwalin found himself muttering, far too quiet for most to hear, but Balin heard.

A knowing smile graced his oldened features. "I presumed so." Balin spoke with a hum, "I can only... Advise that you should speak to her. She cares for you. I am sure that she would understand." Balin stated, before letting out a small sigh, standing, "Think about it, will you?" And with that, Balin found his sleep sack, rolling into it and falling asleep.

Dwalin stayed awake much longer into the night, contemplating his decision as he waited for Gloin to take over the night watch. His older brother's words echoed throughout his head, and with a deep gruff, he let his eyes stray from the fire; the light making his eyes burn slightly. His eyes flickered from around the woods that surrounded him, to the Company before finding the stars and the moon in the sky, and finally... Back to you.

You, in your sleep, muttered something softly, unnoticeable. He watched as you rolled to your side, shivering, your hand pulling the fur blanket closer to you. Dwalin's eyes lingered on you, his mouth slightly agape before he snapped his gaze away. Feeling a wave of frustration towards himself, Dwalin's gaze landed on his sleep role. 

~~~

The next morning, you woke up to a bright blue sky, filled with white, fluffy clouds. You let out a sigh, eyelids fluttering as you shifted slightly and let out a breath. You groaned lightly before freezing. Your fingers brushed against the fur blanket over you, feeling the coarseness of the material. It was warm. Very warm.

Your eyebrows furrowed; confused. You opened one eye, squinting at the bright sun that was peaking above the tree canopies. Slowly turning over onto your back, you sat up, looking down at the blanket... Or should you say... Blankets?

You stared down at the fur blanket, that was not your own, before flipping the fur up, spying your fur blanket underneath. This second fur blanket - which wasn't yours - was a deep brown color, with little bits of white. Who gave you this last night? Were you really that cold last night that one of the Dwarves had given you their blanket out of kindness or pity? You felt a sense of gratitude fill your chest. Looking down at the furry blanket, you couldn't help but let out a smile. 

Looking up, you let your eyes survey the small camp, hopping from Dwarf to Dwarf until they settled on one. Dwalin. A wave of warmth passed over you, watching as he packed his sleep role away and into his pack. As Dwalin stood to leave, he glanced over at you, meeting your gaze for a brief moment; before quickly darting his eyes away, going over to Thorin. 

You felt the corners of your lips twitch slightly, a frown threatening to form on your face as you looked at Dwalin's retreating back. Did he hate you? Did he find you annoying? All these questions ran through your head, but you only huffed, getting up from your sleep role. You were not going to let Dwalin's behavior towards you sour your mood. Today was a beautiful day, and you wanted to savor it. 

~~~

You couldn't see, and all you could feel was the feeling of falling. You felt as if you were wrapped in something. It was tight around you, almost suffocating. Anxiety washed over you, gripping your heart painfully as your lungs begged for air. But you could hardly breathe. You needed to breathe, but you were trapped. You clawed at the sticky white substance that surrounded you, trying to rip it and free yourself, but you were not strong enough. You felt like giving up, though you knew you couldn't, but as you clawed at the sticky film, you could finally hear what was going on outside of the cocoon. You could hear the Dwarves yelling, yelling about spiders. 

Before you could do anything else, someone from the outside ripped open your cocoon. You blinked rapidly at the slight change of light, finding yourself back in the creepy woods. A large hand reached out to you and you quickly grabbed it, the person behind the strong hand pulling you up with force. Stumbling slightly, you felt slightly dazed, the hand still in yours as you found yourself in a giant spider fight. 

As you stood amidst the chaotic scene of giant spiders attacking the Company, your heart raced with fear and adrenaline. Eyes unable to leave the giant spiders - tunnel-vision - you gripped the hand in yours; giving you slight reassurance. The air was filled with the sounds of battle - the clang of weapons, the hiss of the spiders, and the shouts of the Dwarves. You could feel the sticky strands of webbing brush against your skin as you dodged and weaved through the throng of arachnids. You felt gross and dirty; and for the first time since the start of this long journey to The Lonely Mountain, you missed your Hobbit home.

With each passing moment, the fight intensified, the odds seemingly stacked against you and the Company. Your wide eyes danced around you, trying to spot Bilbo, but you couldn't find him. You wanted to yell out, to shout, but as your mouth opened, no words came out. There was an odd buzzing noise in your ears, your heart was beating loudly in your chest; harsh against your ribcage. Only then, did you look at the person who held you so close to them. You thought it couldn't have been Kili or Fili, but you spotted the two Princes when you lifted your gaze. Looking down at the hand that held yours, you felt your racing heart freeze for just a moment; an auditable hitch escaped your throat, but you didn't dare utter a sound. 

Standing in front of you and holding your hand tightly in his own was none other than Dwalin. You knew it was him. You knew those tattoos. Trailing up his muscular arm, you were finally met with the side of his face. His expression was hardened as he held his weapon tightly in his other hand. Aside from the anxiety and nervousness that had overcome you, you were incredibly impressed. Dwalin, with one hand, fought off giant spiders, whilst also keeping you perfectly safe. 

At the sound of something coming from up in the trees, you looked up, watching as no more than two dozen elves jumped to the ground, taking out the last of the large, monstrous spiders from around you. One of the Elves spoke to another, you noted her red hair as they spoke in Elvish. You wished that you could understand them. Your awe of them quickly diminished when they drew their weapons, arrows drawn and at the ready; circling around you and the Company. Soon, they demanded your weapons, and before you knew it, all the Dwarves were weaponless. 

"What about her?" One Elven guard asked in a demanding tone. Your eyes lifted up, finding the guard staring down at you. "Hand whatever you have over instantly." He demanded, holding out his hand, only for Dwalin's hand in yours to tighten slightly, gently pushing you behind him.

"She bears no weapons, Elf." He spoke in his deep, gruff, disgruntled voice. The Elf stared down at Dwalin for a moment before staring right back down at you, with a sniff and a small 'humph' he turned away. 

The blonde Elf, the one that you believed to be in charge of the whole group, yelled out something in Elvish, and before you knew it, you and your Dwarven friends were being pushed along, being led to hopefully, not your doom. Passing Thorin, you looked at him with pleading eyes, "Thorin, where's Bilbo?" Only for your answer to be unanswered. 

Your hand never left Dwalin's, your free, unoccupied hand found his arm; the skin upon skin contact grounded you, allowing you to calm yourself ever so slightly. You finally took a chance to look around, finding the forest opening, revealing a stone bridge. Pillars, beautifully carved, gave way to the entrance of Mirkwood, the Elven Kingdom. You wished you had the time to admire the architecture of the kingdom, but, sadly, you did not. Before you knew it you were being tossed into a cell.  

A hand fell upon your shoulder, pulling you to the side, your hands falling from Dwalin's. "Dwalin!" You called out, trying to reach for him, but you were soon shoved into a cell. Stumbling over your feet, you braced yourself on the rock interior of the cell. Hearing the heavy cell door close behind you, you snapped your head up; feeling exhausted, mentally and physically, but you pushed yourself forward. Your hands curled around the bars, trying to look at the cells beside yours. The sound of the now-captured Dwarves - yelling and complaining. 

"Miss Y/N!" Fili yelled out, only a few cells away from yours, "Are you alright!?"

"I'm fine!" You called back, "Is everyone else alright?"

Most, if not all, of the Dwarves, replied with various 'ayes’. You sighed in relief, closing your eyes; the chill of the cell door refreshing on your forehead. 

Sitting on the floor - you felt the hours pass you by slowly - you pressed the back of your head against the wall; tired. "I wager the sun is on the rise. Must be nearly dawn." Bofur called out, his voice echoing throughout. Your eyes fluttered open, a yawn leaving your parched mouth. 

"We're never going to reach the mountain, are we?" Ori asked, sounding resigned, making you sigh.

"Don't fret, Ori, dearest." You spoke up, sounding a bit resigned yourself, but you were determined to keep everyone's spirits high. "We'll make it." You continued, looking out of your cell door, "We will." With that said, you stood up from the ground, wincing as pain shot through your legs. Looking down, you noticed a rip in your trousers that you replaced your usual dress with. Pushing the ripped fabric to the side, you then noticed a red substance that trailed down your leg; coming from a small scratch on your calf. "Well," You spoke up, clearing your throat. "I may have been slightly injured."

Simultaneously, the Dwarves began to talk. Their voices became louder, some with more worry and concern. "Miss Y/N, you are injured!?" You heard Fili call from his cell.

"Yes, tis but a scratch." You explained, hoping the Dwarves would stop fussing over you. You weren't a damsel in distress. You were strong, even with a bloody scratch. "But worry not, dearest Dwarves, it's nothing I can't handle."

"You won't have to handle it for long." You heard, eyes widening - mimicking your bright smile - as Bilbo appeared at your cell door, holding the keys. 

~~~

When you joined the Company on their journey, you did not expect that you'd trick goblins, climb bit trees, fly on eagles, fight giant spiders, and barrel ride down a raging river. This was certainly an adventure that you'd go through again, minus the goblins and giant spiders; you'd love to fly with the eagles again.

Somehow, you survived, floating down the raging river, your clothes all sopping wet, and river water dripping from your hair. As all of your barrels fell down a waterfall, you couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Behind you, you could hear the laughter of some of the dwarves. For a moment, you forgot about your injuries; and the exhaustion that was seeping into every fiber of your body. Your hands tightened your grip on the railing of the barrel, praying for it to not capsize or tip over, your fingers growing numb with cold. You tried desperately to ignore what was going on around you. Smelling the fresh air, and hearing the birds chirping above you, almost made you forget everything else.

But at the sound of a horn, you were quickly snapped out of your head, watching as the suited Elves began to shut the gate; the only way to escape. All joy, and a sense of freedom, flew right out of the window. You all collided with each other at the closed gate, you huffed, glaring up at the Elven guards before your eyes caught sight of an arrow flying through the air, and into one of the guards. 

"Orcs!" You yelled out, gesturing up at the guards, as the one that was shot fell into the water below; almost hitting you. "Why does it always have to be orcs?"

You dodged the best you could when dead elves and dead orcs fell into the water, along with dodging arrows, and over-confidant orcs that tried to swing at your head. 

You were about to call for Bilbo, but when you turned your head, you watched as your brother stabbed a sword into an orc, defending one of the dwarves. 

"Miss Y/N!" Ori cried out, making you look over to him, only for him to point above you. 

You looked up, your eyes widening at an orc - dead - began falling towards you. Unable to move, almost frozen in fear, you squeezed your eyes shut and shielded yourself with your arms, only for your barrel to be pushed back and out of the way. You opened your eyes, blinking them rapidly as the river water splashed in your face. Looking over, you just saw a glimpse of Dwalin turning back around. Despite the obvious danger that you were all in, you wondered what you could do for Dwalin since he had saved your life twice now. 

Turning your eyes to the side, you watched as Kili ran up the side of the stone top of the gate, you covered your mouth as an arrow flew through the air and hit him in the leg. Fili cried out of this younger brother, as Kili then opened the gate, and fell into an empty barrel. 

Falling down, yet another waterfall, smaller than the last, you pushed your wet hair from your face, only to grip the barrel with as much force as you could; the raging, white-foaming waters continued. Looking to your side slightly, you watched as Bilbo held onto a barrel, holding onto the sideway barrel, his own death-like grip. You felt a small bit of relief, seeing him safe. You, and the Company, continued down the river, and the longer you tried not to tip over and drown, the more you wished that you weren't in the freezing waters. 

Finally, the raging stopped, and the river was calm. Leaning over slightly in the barrel, you brushed your hands in the freezing water, moving your barrel forward slowly, but carefully. 

"Make for the shore!" Thorin yelled out, receiving some 'ayes' in return.

Pushing your barrel forward, you pressed your cheek against the rim of the barrel, your eyes drooping slightly as you continued to push yourself toward the shore. Your barrel soon hit the rocks, and you used the rest of your strength to get out of it, climbing up onto the rocks; completely soaked. You trudged up the rocks, wrapping your arms around yourself as you mentally counted those around you, counting fourteen. Mentally, you could rest.

Feeling a hand on your upper arm, you looked to the side, seeing your brother Bilbo. Just his presence made you give him a small smile, seeing the worry in his eyes. "I'm alright." You spoke to him, wanting to reassure him, "I'm just cold."

At the surprise of meeting Bard, the human, you sort of let your brain shut off. You felt your feet move as you followed the Dwarves to Bard's boat. You felt yourself sitting down in the corner next to Bilbo, and hiding from Alfrid, but you were far from the present. You were so tired, mentally and physically, that you let your mind quiet, letting yourself only fade back into the world you knew once you felt the warm fire at your feet.

"Wee lass hasn't spoken since the Elves." You heard a hushed voice, it was Bofur. 

You pressed your legs closer to yourself, staring into the flames. The clothing you were given, having been one of Bard's daughters, was warm; the fabric soft - your fingers toyed with the soft material. 

"Is she alright?" Ori asked worriedly, only for Bilbo to nod, crossing his arms. 

"She's alright. She had told me so." Thorin only gave you a short glance before turning back to Bard. 

Dwalin, with his arms crossed, turned to look at you, staring at your side profile. Glancing over at the table that Bilbo sat at, Dwalin said nothing, walking over to the table and grabbing a plate. Bilbo, in turn, watched as Dwalin filled the plate with a few potatoes, two small tomatoes, and a small slice of bread. 

Your eyes picked up the sound of heavy footfalls coming towards you, and at the sight of a plate coming into your field of vision, you moved your head to look up. As you looked at Dwalin, his face stoic as usual, you couldn't help but smile. Taking the plate, your fingers briefly brushed against his.

"Thank you, Dwalin." You spoke softly, but before he could slink away, you grabbed his hand, stopping him. For a moment, you thought back to when he held your hand so tightly - protectively - in the Mirkwood forests. "Thank you for saving me. Twice." You smiled at him softly, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. "And I apologize if I had anything to upset you, or make you uncomfortable." He glanced over at you, then down at your hand which was wrapped around his. He didn't remove his hand from yours, giving you the same squeeze that you had received from him earlier today. 

Dwalin stared at your hand in his, his jaw clenching before he looked back to you, his eyes softening. "You did not, dorzada." He spoke gruffly, “Eat.” He finished before leaving your side, your hand dropping from his. 

You looked down at your plate of food, your stomach grumbling and spinning, as your mind wandered. Picking up the slice of bread, you bit down on it, thinking about the word that Dwalin called you. You wondered what it meant. 

~~~

"Oin, stay with Kili." Thorin commanded as the rest of the Dwarves began to gather their things. Without being told, Fili stayed by his brother's side. 

"I want to come too." You spoke, grabbing a random weapon from the wooden table.

Dwalin quickly turned, staring down at you, "It will be too dangerous for you, lass."

You huffed, lightly glaring up at the Dwarf, "I have fought trolls, orcs, what have you." You pointed out, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "I want to fight."

"This is against us Dwarves and the dragon." He grumbled, his hand taking a hold of the weapon in yours. "You'll die before the beast does."

"I'm already dying anyway," You shrugged, looking back down at your weapon, "From the moment we're born, we're dying. So, what is the point? I want to help."

Dwalin breathed out of his nose as he took hold of your other hand, "No, no, lass, you are staying here, with Kili, while the rest of us fight."

"Are you telling me, or are you commanding me, Dwalin?" You asked, voice becoming soft as his eyes bored into your own. "Do as you wish then," You sighed when receiving no answer, letting go of his hands, "But please, do not die." 

Dwalin humphed, the corners of his lips just twisting up into a small grin, and for a moment, you were stunned. Dwalin was smiling. "Don't worry," He spoke. "I won't." His gaze softened, as he stepped back from you, "Be safe, lass." With that, he started to walk away, only for you to grab his arm and stop him. You didn't say anything else, merely pulling him close to you.

You felt him tense in your abrupt embrace before his one hand, not holding his weapon, circled you. But, it all ended too soon, as he pulled back from you, nodding to you before turning his attention to the group, as they set off to The Lonely Mountain. 

Your shoulders sagged when the door closed, a small pout upon your lips, "Do not fret, Miss Y/N," Fili spoke from beside his brother as you turned to look over at the four Dwarves - Kili, Fili, Bofur, and Oin. "They will return."

You let out a sigh, looking out at the window. A fuzzy feeling rose within your chest, and you couldn't help but smile to yourself. After watching them disappear into the distance, the sun went to sleep, "I know."

---

Main Masterlist | The Hobbit/LOTR Masterlist

[agentnico]

Drive-Away Dolls (2024) review

Do not see this movie with your mum. I repeat, do not not see this movie with your mum!!

Plot: Jamie regrets her breakup with her girlfriend, while Marian needs to relax. In search of a fresh start, they embark on an unexpected road trip to Tallahassee. Things quickly go awry when they cross paths with a group of inept criminals.

The Coen Brothers are behind some of the most thrilling crime capers in cinema history, and are known for their flashy neo-noir style and highly convoluted plots featuring eccentric characters. However recently the brothers decided to temporarily part ways and focus on their own separate projects, with Joel adapting the famous Shakespeare play Macbeth, which by the way was a superb piece of post-modern black-and-white cinema, and gave Roman Polanski a run for his money. Honestly, Tragedy of Macbeth was visually striking, as it stripped down the classic Bard play to its narrative and perceptible essentials, and also the cast was terrific! Then again, you can never go wrong with Denzel Washington. I honestly don’t know a single person who doesn’t love Denzel!

Anyway, whilst Joel was up to his master-class ways, what has the other Coen bro been up to? We would have found out last year if it weren’t for the strikes, but now we finally have an answer - Ethan has decided to go back to his roots and make a road trip movie that is infused with the 80s/90s goofy feel to it, and he even brings back the briefcase from Fargo! Or from No Country for Old Men. Or The Big Lebowski. Or Hail Caesar!. Pretty sure Brad Pitt also seeks a briefcase full of cash in Burn After Reading…. Honestly what is it with the Coens and their briefcases!? Not only that, I swear most of the time it’s the same model briefcase that’s used! So anyway, Ethan Coen is evidently driving down memory lane here, but is it a drive across the greatest hits, or a drive-away to disappointment?

It’s the latter unfortunately. Now we have seen the true colours and know which of the Coen bros is the talented one and which is riding on their sibling’s success! I’m kidding, everyone has a bad day at the office, but Ethan Coen has really made a stinker with Drive-Away Dolls. Playing out in less than an hour and a half, this is a very short film, so on a plus size is does whiz past you. However the storyline is so thin and disengaging, and the jokes are also really unfunny. The Coen Brothers are known for their signature wit and hilarious dialogue, however none of that is present here. Additionally, similar to how I found Poor Things to feature one too many sex scenes for my liking, Drive-Away Dolls features a lot of lesbian friction throughout, to unnecessary amounts. I thought it was bit too much, and too icky for my tastes.

The cast features a lot of talented people, all of whom I’ve seen give great performances in other projects, however here they were either miscast or simply wasted with their minimal inconsequential screen time. Margaret Qualley is way too over-the-top and silly as the fast talking Jamie with a cringe-inducing accent twang, and she got really overbearing by the end of the movie. Geraldine Viswanathan as Marian plays the straight faced counterpart to Qualley’s annoying energy ball. Again, it’s not the first time we’ve seen such a dynamic in films, yet Viswanathan can’t seem to find any interesting layers within her one-dimensional character and as such came off really boring. The rest of the cast comes and goes, some for sheer forced comedy and others to at least make some attempt to have a cohesive plot, but even then are taken out of the equation quickly and pointlessly. Pedro Pascal, Colman Domingo, Beanie Feldstein, Matt Damon, Bill Camp, Miley Cyrus….all wasted.

The movie also features very sloppy editing, and also the transitions! We have to speak about the transitions! What the hell was going on there? So from scene to scene we’d get these weird wacky psychedelic kaleidoscopic inserts, and I mean in a stoner film this would probably serve more purpose, but in a movie like this it felt totally random. To be fair at the end a character does mention about something that happened years ago that somewhat mildly justifies these inserts, but even then having so much of them throughout the film felt like a useless gimmick. I’m all for filmmakers trying something different and unique visually, but as long as it serves a purpose to the overall narrative, which in this case it did not.

It’s really disappointing as I’m a major fan of the Coen Brothers works, however this was such a messy misfire, I’m honestly shocked it made it through to actual release. It’s silly but not in a fun way, featuring wasted talent and bland gags, and one should simply drive away from this as far as possible.

Overall score: 2/10

[dreaming-while-asleep]

What Pets I Think LOtR Characters Would Have

may or may not be a collab with @aromanticmara

Legolas: cat (a rag doll) - it’s stealthy but not the brightest

Gimli: dog (a huge one like a St. Bernard)

Eowyn: dog (borzoi) - a little odd looking from afar but could keep up with her, they low key look like Faramir

Arwen: cat (classic black cat)

Aragorn: horse (because of course he does)

Gandalf: has no pet but feeds strays from time to time

Boromir: no pets (has Merri and Pippin)

Frodo: a rabbit

Sam: co-parents the rabbit with Frodo but lives in constant fear of it eating his plants

Elrond: was against Arwen getting a cat but now it’s his bestie

Galadriel: a unicorn (deadass just a unicorn)

Thandruil: absolutely hates Legolas’ cat and won’t even pretend to like it

Faramir: his dad got him no pet so he had an imaginary dog

Pippin: raccoon (he took it in thinking it was a cat)

Merri: worms (like legit a worm farm) - he feeds them fungi and stuff to scavenge during all of the hobbit meals

Saruman: snake (definitely some spooky albino one that stares into your soul)

Gollum: his precious

Sauron: the Nazgûls

Tom Bombadil: an owl (old and wise like him) - it’s a very cheery owl though

Goldberry: peacock (she’s just that flashy and Tom wound he deny her that)

Bonus Characters ~ The Hobbit (books and movies)

Bilbo: had a pig but it ran away (Gandalf spooked it)

Radagast: flying squirrel (nothing fancy like a sugar glider, a plain flying squirrel) - takes in all animals though

Tauriel: ferrets (has a whole family of them) - talks shit about the other elves to them

The Dwarves: move around to much to have any permanent pets but they find friends along the road

Bard’s family: birds (definitely some type of song bird for the kids) - that thing never shuts up and it annoys him to no end

[devilsrecreation]

Coven Head Christmas headcanons

I’m pretty sure Christmas (or at least a Demon Realm version of it) exists based on this pic:

Now it’s the coven heads’ turn!

Raine:

Composes new Holiday songs every year

Knows all the existing songs by heart

May be shy in front of an audience, but they LOVE singing and playing along with their friends

Puts on a special red bow just for their violin

All the ornaments on their tree are of instruments

Always stands under mistletoe (by accident, of course)

Darius:

Makes abominations to decorate for him

Is the most relaxed when it comes to the holidays

Can be found humming all the Christmas songs

Gives out either clothes or skin-care products as presents

Says he doesn’t need anything, but secretly hopes he gets the most presents out of everyone

Eberwolf:

Very grateful, you can get him anything and he’ll give you a hug

“It’s an avocado! Thanks!”

Gives everyone something called “snow pies”. It’s what it sounds like

Gives all the beast demons their own Christmas presents

Wears fake antlers 24/7

Forces Darius to wear holiday hats

Terra:

Is the one creating all the Christmas trees for Belos

Puts bows on all of her plants

Her greenhouse is filled with lights

This is the only time she doesn’t hold any grudges

Spoils Petunia and Saul with presents

Puts flowers instead of ornaments on her tree

Adrian:

Adrian goes all out—Christmas music blasting, fake snow, and house covered in decorations like that one scene in the live-action “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”

Most of the decor are just illusions

Blasts Holiday music 24/7 and annoys pretty much all the Bards

Binge-watches all the holiday movies, even the bad ones

Is a little less insufferable around that time

Hettie:

Tries to get Vitimir under the mistletoe

Decorates the Healing Coven building herself

Wears ugly Christmas sweaters cuz she can

If you say one bad word about said sweaters, you’ll be spending Christmas under her care

Vitimir:

Compared to everyone else, he’s the closest thing to the Grinch

Often the victim of Adrian’s bright decirations

Is forced to wear sweaters against his will

Prefers to sit by the fire while everyone else plays in the snow

Tried to make his own hot cocoa once. It backfired.

His face softens whenever someone gives him a present, it’s adorable

Osran:

Very festive around the holidays

The ghosts help him decorate his mansion with lights

Has mistletoe everywhere as an excuse to either kiss or get kisses from Ophelia

Kurse hogs all the apple blood and the Demon Realm’s version of eggnog

Makes hot cocoa for everyone

Has a holiday party every year with his and Scooter’s family

#1 gift giver

Mason:

Looks forward to Christmas cuz he gets to hang out with his kids more

Is a pro at snowball fights

When Steve and Matt were little, he used to give them cute handmade toys he built himself

Built sleighs for both Steve and Matt so they’d look cool

His signature hammer was a Christmas present from Steve

Bonus:

All the coven heads take turns putting at least one ornament on the tree in the castle

Double Bonus:

Scooter can cause all of the Boiling Isles and Bonesborough to sing along with him during a Christmas song. Hunter is usually with him cuz he deserves to be happy around the holidays

[yourlocal-lichen]

Writing about the friendships in WIP: Bard and Crew unprompted because I feel like it and also because I can’t think of a compelling way to introduce y’all to my characters because writing things is Hard

yeah okay this is probably going to be long idk how long tho

also I’m not covering all of them (bc that’d be 20 relationships between 5 characters and it’s bedtime), just the notable ones

Nox/Silvia

Nox and Silvia aren’t your typical pair of friends. They don’t go out and Do Things or even talk that much in depth about things like emotional support or anything, they just hang out. They have a shared space in the form of Silvia’s greenhouse and their dynamic mostly exists in a state of being alone together. Some of their interests align, so they hang out. They’ll talk about their interests and how they interact (Silvia likes plants and Nox likes bugs, so ecology comes up often), and they know a lot about each other, but they don’t really seem like friends when they’re in a larger group. Their friendship comes from a shared appreciation for silence (and music)

Bard/Tulle

The loud/excited duo. Even though Tulle by definition isn’t loud (she’s nonverbal), they’d be the disruptive kids in a middle school class. They’re both chaotic and spontaneous, but also can be calm. Unlike Nox and Silvia, they go out and Do Things, be it going to a movie or thrifting or whatever. Bard once totally got Tulle to try and learn to play the drums (Bard plays guitar and drums, among others. He was also one of Those sax players in band), but Tulle probably lost interest after a little while. Tulle is also one of the only people who can put up with Bard for long amounts of time in group settings, because he gets really loud and excited with lots of people. They tell each other things, but also not really because Bard is always fine he’s fine really it’s great (he’s not fine). But Tulle confides in Bard at the very least.

Bard/Nox

These two have known each other the longest. Nox is one of the only people that Bard confides in, though it’s typically rare and very dramatic. Bard gets confided in by everyone though because he’s just like that. He’s fine (he’s not fine). Bard seems like an open book with his heart out on his sleeve, and he is a bit, but not with everything. Nox and Bard are better duo in private and Nox sometimes gets annoyed by Extrovert Bard, but yeah. They’ve been through a lot together and know a lot about each other.

Ambrose/Silvia

The brainiacs in two very different ways. Ambrose is really the only one in the group who has enough understanding of biology to be able to have an in-depth discussion about plants with Silvia. He has a pretty okay understanding of a lot of things, as is his purview. STEM isn’t his strong suit, but he wants to connect with Silvia so he makes an effort to understand. Silvia’s happy to have someone to talk to about plants and fungi, but she doesn’t really understand Ambrose’s love for literature. They both like classical music, though, and share pieces that they like often.

Ambrose/Tulle

These two have a few overlapping interests (both love literature and engineering) and have different but complementary styles of learning. Tulle likes taking things apart to see how they work, and Ambrose likes reading about them. If there’s something Ambrose doesn’t understand because books and diagrams sometimes just don’t cut it, Tulle can explain it. And if Tulle finds a piece of something but doesn’t understand its function, Ambrose will probably know it. Also Ambrose’s love for new novels complements Tulle’s interest in the classics, and they sometimes converse about the interaction between those two styles of writing. Though Tulle sometimes gets frustrated that they can’t communicate as fast as she can think.

[dreambly3]

9/7/23

Dreamt I was moving in to a new place and my roommate had a bunny and a lamb. I tried petting the lamb and it was a little bitey.

Started school at some kind of institute. Lived in a dorm on the 5th floor. Was hard to get up there with the elevators. I got caught on a weird part of the elevator and an instructor challenged me to get down, like he was testing my willpower. It was like a large textile factory, with different spools of materials being moved by big metal arms. I climbed down amidst the moving machinery but I wound up getting a bunch of tacks stuck in my left big toe.

I was at the grocery store. I bought something, but there was a big storm. We all had to go to the basement. Some college kids were throwing a party. They thought it was nice I was there even though I was old. I told them I was 25. One girl hugged me. Another guy asked to see my license to prove I was 25, I tried to take it out, but I lost it when buying something from the grocery store. I had to go upstairs and bribe the guy who found it with a donut. He ate it but didn’t hand it over. He said something about humans being annoying

Something about an old 80’s fantasy movie. A clockwork room. Jack black as a bard on the road.

[multifandomishere]

I posted 180 times in 2022

That's 128 more posts than 2021!

13 posts created (7%)

167 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sosuperawesome

@adrianasunderworld

@ursminor

@raven-at-the-writing-desk

@suryo-malep

I tagged 36 of my posts in 2022

#twisted wonderland - 25 posts

#twst - 20 posts

#twst oc - 17 posts

#disney twisted wonderland - 14 posts

#twisted wonderland oc - 9 posts

#omar eumelia - 7 posts

#vil schoenheit - 6 posts

#original character - 5 posts

#kalim al asim - 4 posts

#twst nrc - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 71 characters

#spent so much time of getting the uniform right and i can finally sleep

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

So not only are we getting a black little mermaid but we also getting a afro-latina princess too?!?!?!??!?!?

6 notes - Posted September 9, 2022

#4

First time in a while since I made an oc, so why not make one for my newest obsession. Take a hint about what character I twisted

9 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#3

Omar Eumelia (Twisted from Calliope from Hercules & Orpheus)

[Ramshackle Dorm]

Omar Eumelia

Age: 17

Best Subject: Music, Astrology, History of Magic

Birthday: September 6 ♍️ (Virgo)

Class: Freshman, Class A

Club: Pop Music, Film Research

Height: 5'10" (178 cm)

Hobby: Poetry, Stargazing

Homeland: Merkai Hills

Likes: Stories, Music, Animals

Dislikes: Being left out, Sailing, Extreme Violence

Unique Magic: ??? (TBD)

His songs can charm about anything even luring those into a slumber. Even allowing his opponents to drop their defenses. It's most powerful while playing an instrument and based on his emotions, his eyes seem to shine brighter when he's happy.

(I wasn't expecting this to take this long but I'm glad with the result I got. Honestly I have so many ideas about his backstory and I wish I had someone I can rant about it with 😭)

16 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

#2

MORE OMAR INFO!

Name: Omar Eumelia

Nicknames: Beluga (Floyd), Monsieur Barde (Rook)

Race/Species: Human

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Alignment: Neutral Good

Class/Job: Class 1-A, Ramshackle Student

5'10" Height

Stats Template Here!

my handwriting is awful so I'll write down here

And extra notes about each relationship

Deuce - Mama's Boy Club (mom appreciation squad, also comforted him when he realized the horrid truth of what eggs are)

Cater - Club Member (constantly being filmed for magicam and teaching Omar how to play guitar, had long deep conversations during club practices sometimes)

Azul - Greedy Octopus (never leave his lyre behind. EVER. the second he offered a contract in exchange for his talents or his lyre meant he could never trust him, again would rather DIE than give anything to azul)

Floyd - BEWARE (scares him the most, absolutely HATES being squeezed and barely escapes from his grasp)

Kalim - Club Member (HEADBAND BUDDIES, also the biggest life of he party together, annoy jamil with constant singing that distract kalim from studying)

Jamil - On thin ice (trust issues since book 4, hurting kalim is a big one but eventually comes to understand where jamil's coming from)

Vil - Inspiration (no seriously, he just admires all the hardwork, talent, and how beautiful he is. Honestly nothing more, positive, maybe owns some of his movies and magicam stan account NOT NOPE TOTALLY NOT SOMETHING HE DOES)

Rook - ????? (man makes him so conflicted every single time they interact, is he flirting or just being rook. probably the latter...right?)

Idia - One sided (have one headcanon they've met once when they were kids and Omar really want to reconnect, introvert and extrovert friendship are 👌🏾, insert someone will die of fun meme here)

Ortho - Wants brother to be all friends (best wing man for his brother to have more friends, shows him his favorite video games)

Lilia - Club Member (actually knew his great great grandmother back in the day, slowly converts Omar to become a metalhead, also proud he's one of malleus's friend)

Relationship Chart Here

24 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Vil is definitely someone who listens to Marina and the Diamonds, it just makes too much sense

36 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mlm-writer]

Hero of the Swamp (Shrek x Jaskier)

Edit by me 

Pairing: Shrek x Netflix!Jaskier (Julian Alfred Pankratz/Dandelion) Rating: Explicit Words: 2893 POV: Third Summary: After being left on the mountain, Jaskier finds himself lost in the swamp and in need of warmth and comfort. Note: Y’all can thank @spielzeugkaiser​ and their amazing art for this. Sorry for the sloppy edit, but I really was not going to put even more time into this sinful work.  Tags: I’ve been a bad boy daddy forgive me father fore I have sinned, pre-movies Shrek, post-mountain Jaskier, angst, fluff, Shrek’s huge dong, size kink, cum shower, monster cock, blowjobs, rimming, cum eating and Shrek has emotions ok 

The growls of monsters lurking in the forest rolled over the muddy forest grounds and reached Jaskier’s icy ears. He shivered in both terror and response to the temperature. He told himself he could get off that mountain on his own, but who was he kidding? His frigid ears caught something in the dark. The bard bolted off the path, then later found himself in the middle of nowhere, chilled to the bone, disoriented, and, to be honest, frightened. 

He was looking for a path, but even that seemed to not be present anywhere in the vicinity. Jaskier rubbed his trembling hands together and walked on. Jaskier thought he should at last find some shelter from the wind. Just as he was about to settle for a random tree, he noticed light in the distance, warm like fire, inviting him and promising warmth and shelter. 

The fatigued bard all but ran towards it, the signs around the perimeter unnoticed in the dark. His boots sunk into the mud of the swamp, but he had his eyes set on the house-like structure in the middle of the swamp. He could not believe anyone wanted to live in this stinky place, but right now this someone was about to be his saviour. Once at what he assumed to be the door, he knocked on it. When there was no answer he knocked again. There were some angry, heavy footsteps, before the door opened. 

Before him stood a massive humanoid, skin green like peas, frame built like Geralt who preferred cake over his nasty potions. “Eh, good evening, sir,” Jaskier tried. If it was living in a house, it must be intelligent to some extent… right? “Could you please spare some place for a weary traveller?” The green creature did not look nice, even without its facial expressions. Some tension left its body after the question. Jaskier recognised it as a hint of confusion. “I’m afraid I’ll freeze to death if I don’t warm myself by a fire.” 

“No, get out of my swamp,” the creature spoke. It sounded like it was from Skellige. It was about to retreat into its home, but Jaskier put his foot between the door.

“Please, I’ll die out here,” he spoke dramatically, hoping for pity so he’d have a roof over his head tonight. He was not sure if he should try his luck with this creature, but at least it could speak. Wraiths had said less words, before trying to slice him. 

“Not my problem. Get out of my swamp. The only way you get close to my fire is when I roast you over it.” “Oh please, you don’t mean that.”

Jaskier had barely finished speaking, when the green man grabbed him by his doublet and pulled him close. His breath stank of swamp water and fish. His mouth was wide and Jaskier was pretty sure he would fit inside there. The bard felt like he should be terrified, but underneath a thin layer of leather and cloth, there was warmth radiating off pear skin. He wanted to lean into it, thaw. What inhibited his survival skills further, where those eyes glaring into his. Under bushy eyebrows rested two brown pools of warm broth. He heard the green man roar into his face that he needed to leave, because he was an ogre and he was going to eat him, but it was hard to believe him. 

Within those eyes that were so close to his, the ogre told the story of a creature that wanted to be alone, because alone was safe, alone was comfortable, alone was all he was used to. Jaskier never knew that, but after today, he understood why one would think that. 

“If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands.”

It stung, more than anything had caused him to ache in ages. Jaskier could feel the urge to never make friends again, never love again, never lust after one he could not have. However, he refused. It was pain that made life worth living. Without pain, bliss did not feel as good as it did. The rain made sunlight so much more appreciated. The cold made fire so much more precious. The monsters made the witcher so much more valuable.

The human knew this, but the ogre holding him up by his doublet did not. Jaskier had wished for pity, but he pitied the other now. He clumsily threw his arms around the ogre and hugged him tightly. The ogre stopped yelling at him. Jaskier could feel the muscles against his body tensing up. The hand holding him loosened and he threw his legs around the ogre too, holding on and hugging him tightly. “You don’t have to be alone. I don’t fear you,” Jaskier spoke gently. 

“I am an ogre.” “And if you were really malicious I would not still be breathing. Please, just for one night. There are all sorts of dangers out in these swamps, especially at night. I just want to stay alive.” 

Jaskier could hear the ogre letting out a long sigh. “Fine,” he spoke, “but you have to be gone tomorrow.” Jaskier let him go, but not after planting a delighted kiss on the rough skin of the ogre’s cheek. 

“Thank you so much,” the bard exclaimed. He slipped inside, before the ogre could change his mind. The inside of the hollowed out tree looked cozy. It stank like hell, but he was in the middle of the swamp; what did he expect? “Do you like music? I have little to give you, but I am a bard.” Jaskier held up his lute as he grabbed the chair that had no food in front of it. One look at the giant slug on a plate and he was pretty sure he did not want to have any food. Jaskier pulled the chair a little closer to the fire and sat down with his lute in his lap. It seemed rather strange that there were two hand-crafted chairs, while the ogre seemed to be so keen on being alone. “Oh and you can call me Jaskier, by the by. What may I call you, my hero from the swamp?”

The ogre looked at him a little annoyed as he closed the door and sat back down to finish his dinner. “Uh… Shrek. You can play, but don’t sing.” Jaskier let the name roll off his tongue, before playing a calming tune. He didn’t speak, just let his fingers do their thing as he processed all that happened during the day, well it was actually more just those few minutes that haunted his mind. Each one of Geralt’s words cutting into his soul. “Eh… Jaskier?” Jaskier was pulled from his thoughts when Shrek spoke his name. He shook his head, before looking at Shrek. “You don't seem to be… you… you seem sad, well, what I mean is… I never heard such a depressing tune.”

Jaskier faked a smile. “My apologies, good sir. I’ll play you a happier tune, if you wish.” He diverted his eyes to the fingerboard, blinking away the tears he suddenly noticed pooling in his eyes. 

“No, you don’t have to. I prefer silence, anyway.” Jaskier looked up and noticed Shrek had finished eating. He stood up and started cleaning up. “You can sleep on my good chair.” Jaskier followed the ogre’s gaze to the fauteuil in the corner. He nodded. It looked comfortable enough. He had slept on forest floors with Geralt. This was more luxury than a regular day with the witcher. 

Shrek had some board and card games, which he seemed to enjoy to play. Jaskier wondered if Shrek usually played these games on his own or if he hosted guests more often. Neither seemed likely, since the games seemed to have gone untouched for at least a decade, if not longer. They shared a few laughs. Shrek turned out to be more fun company than Jaskier would ever have expected from an ogre. His jokes were terrible and sometimes a little insensitive, but he so clearly meant well. It was clear Shrek was not used to talking or any social interactions. He spoke like a young man still trying to figure out what was socially acceptable to say and what was not. Still, he was trying and Jaskier welcomes the vivid chatting. 

When they got tired, Jaskier curled up on the comfortable fauteuil by the fire. Shrek had draped a shirt of his over the human. It stank and was dirty, but it was warm and Jaskier was still low key afraid of getting kicked out to sleep in the mud, so he didn’t voice a single word of complaint. In the silence of the night with no one to talk to, words that were already spoken returned to his mind. Jaskier tried to block them out, but they bit at his brain, keeping him awake and drawing tears from his eyes. He curled further in on himself, trying to stay quiet as he sobbed into his hands. It just hurt so much to be discarded like he was nothing but a nuisance. Was that all he was? He was sure his songs brought joy in taverns, but right now the unlikely and unrealistic idea that everyone just pretended to have a good time was so overwhelming. 

The bard flinched when he felt a huge hand on his shoulder and arm. He looked up to find Shrek hanging over him in nothing but his smalls. He looked like he wanted to say something, but the ogre clearly wasn’t good with words. “I’m fine, Shrek,” Jaskier lied as he wiped the tears off his face, “I’ll just find the nearest town tomorrow and fuck the pain away.” The words had already left him, when he realised how that might sound. “And I’ll do that tomorrow, not because I think you’re hideous, quite the contrary, you might be the most handsome ogre to ever exist, but I just assumed you would not be interested in having sex with a human… male. Human male, doesn’t seem your taste, but it could be, I wouldn’t judge you. How could I? You’ve been a most generous host! I…” 

Jaskier almost suffocated as Shrek’s palm covered the entirety of his face. He got the hint and just shut up. Shrek slowly let go of his face, allowing him to breathe again. Jaskier looked away, cheeks red. He was blabbering nonsense to an ogre who preferred peace and quiet. He guessed it was time to sleep in the mud outside, however, Shrek wasn’t yelling at him… yet. 

“So you just have sex and that helps you feel better?” Jaskier nodded slowly. “I wouldn’t mind helping you feel better. It is not like I have had lassies lining up in the swamp… or lads.” He laughed a little awkwardly, making Jaskier laugh too. He took hold of one of Shrek’s huge fingers with two of his, by comparison, tiny hands. 

“Oh Shrek, you are such a wonderful host. You really do not have to do this though. I will still want to visit you again, even when you don’t want to fuck my brains out, just so I don’t have to think about some brutish asshole.” Shrek gave him a long look, before enclosing his hand around Jaskier’s waist and lifting him off the fauteuil. 

“It’s not just for you. It’s for me too.” And Jaskier wanted to read into those words, figure out the ogre with complicated feelings, but he had no willpower to. Shrek’s bed was firm, almost hard like a plank. It smelled like him, like onions and mud and firewood. Shrek tried to undress him, but his huge fingers couldn’t get a grip on Jaskier’s complex clothing. Jaskier smiled kindly at him, helping him without even needing to look at any button. “Can I kiss you?” Jaskier didn’t even reply. Instead he pulled Shrek’s head down. It was an awkward kiss. Shrek’s mouth was way too big and neither of them were very coordinated in the moment. 

When his clothes were mostly off and Jaskier was left in his smalls, Shrek kissed down his body, his huge tongue lapping at his skin and Jaskier could hear him enjoy the taste. He hummed to signal his pleasure, letting the ogre go about his business. Shrek pulled off his smalls and to Jaskier’s complete surprise, the ogre took his cock in his mouth. Jaskier whimpered, hands grabbing the sheets. Everything about Shrek was big, including his mouth. Even when the ogre sucked him to full hardness, Jaskier still didn’t feel the back of the ogre’s throat. Shrek sucked in his balls at well and Jaskier almost cried from the pleasure of having his cock and balls inside a warm mouth.  

When Shrek let Jaskier go, his length was hard, red and leaking. Jaskier barely had time to recover, before he felt that glorious tongue on him again, this time licking over his hole. Whispered pleas left his lips as he imagined that tongue inside of him. Then a thought crossed his mind. If everything about Shrek was big, what about his dick? Jaskier had seen the ogre’s hands and one finger was already bigger than the average cock. While he normally was down to go big, the imaginable size of Shrek’s dong low key terrified him.

His mind had no opportunity to freak him out completely, because Shrek’s tongue entered him and the feeling was so, so good. Jaskier moaned as big green hands spread his cheeks and thick wetness penetrated him. “Ah… ah Shrek I hate to be a uh… fuck!” The bard trashed his arms around when his new found friend started to stroke his cock at the same time. “I’m gonna cum! Way too soon, I know! Sto..aahh...” His whole body tensed as he spilled all over himself. Shrek was unrelenting. As the bard’s cock was spent, he still had his tongue inside him, pressing at the right places and wiggling around so talentedly. “Stop, stop, stop, it’s too much, really, too much.” 

Jaskier was out of breath, head fuzzy with post-orgasmic bliss. His whole brain short-circuited as Shrek’s tongue licked over his torso, cleaning him off all the cum he had spilled over himself. “Are you all right?” The green-skinned sex machine inquired with innocent eyes that did not match the absolute tent in his smalls. 

“Say, Shrek, will I die if I swallow ogre cum?” Jaskier almost laughed at Shrek’s expression. It was a ‘yes, no, maybe’. “Ok fine, but I will suck you off still.” The human pushed at the ogre, cornering the larger frame against the opposite wall, before getting on his knees. 

“With all due respect, Jask, I don’t think you can fit me anywhere.” Jaskier didn’t listen, pulling down Sherk’s white smalls in spite of knowing the ogre was probably right. As soon as 12 inch of green cock basically slapped him in the face, Jaskier knew he was in way over his head. Still, he was confident that if he tried, he could still fit the head inside his mouth. With Shrek still assuring him he did not have to do this, Jaskier started licking all over Shrek’s length. The taste was not as bad as he feared. In fact, the more he licked, the more he started to like it. Jaskier made out with the head of Shrek’s cock, fucking the slit with his tongue. Shrek was holding his shoulder, occasionally squeezing a little as he moaned. And oh were those delicious moans, primal, guttural, deep and vibrating through Jaskier’s entire body. 

The human tried many times, but he couldn’t slip the monster cock inside his mouth. He was resilient though and kept trying, while stroking the rest of the green length. He was so caught up in his quest that he didn’t hear Shrek telling him how close he was. He made a disappointed sound as he was forcibly removed from the cock in his mouth. Jaskier crawled back up the bed and stretched out his body. “Cum on me,” he wantonly moaned and Shrek did not disappoint. Jaskier had to close his eyes and mouth as he got showered in thick, beige cum. He never had felt this dirty, but it was a good kind. He wished he could have taken Shrek in his ass. He could’ve been so full. 

Once Shrek had stopped groaning, Jaskier dared to open his eyes. He could see guilt already spreading over Shrek’s face. He must have been a sight, so much smaller than Shrek and absolutely drenched in his cum. “Don’t look at me like that. I’ve always fantasised about being showered in cum. Just never thought that all that cum would come from a single person.” 

Shrek let out a relieved sigh and helped him wipe some cum off his face so it wouldn’t get into his mouth or eyes. “I’ll prepare you a bath,” he spoke gently, surprising Jaskier with the thoughtfulness. His eyes followed the ogre as he put his breeches on and moved out to probably get some fresh water. A laugh escaped Jaskier as he stared at the sticky substance covering his skin. Who would’ve thought that the swamp could’ve been so pleasant? 

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Okay you know what? Let’s go and actually expand on that Shrek au with Option B because all I talked about was the idea. Now I’m going to go with the characters and shit.

Right. So for one, Techno is full pigliin here and is absolutely terrifying. Both because of how he looks and because of his past, where he literally decimated his enemies quickly and in the most terrifying manner possible. Blood for the Blood God is what he said while he was in battle.

Nowadays though, he’s planting potatoes and taking Carl out for a ride at times. Alone. With no one around. And with everyone running away from him. And no company for the past few years.

Quackity and Wilbur is a talking duck, and a talking donkey respectively and are traveling bards. Whether they are hybrids or full animals is up to you. They both are shitpost energy though and 100% annoy Techno nonstop and he is tempted to have the duck for dinner and have the donkey as money compensation.

Quackity is scared of Techno but still provokes him, Wilbur is not and goes and also provokes him. It’s like having two younger siblings to be honest and it’s hilarious.

Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo are all sons of King Philza and Queen Kristin from the Antarctic Empire. In this au Mumza and Philza are both badasses and managed to go and get a whole kingdom and we love them for it.

Course Phil was Crowza before that and he may have went and made a deal with XD to become a human and that subsequently got his kids cursed. Whoops.

Now those three are up at a castle waiting for their true love. Which is bullshit in their opinion. What the fuck. True Love’s Kiss? Boring.

Purpled is a mercenary, albeit young but that’s what happens when your brother goes missing two years before but he’s good at his job and overall stoic and sarcastic. Then he gets implemented into the found family and now if anyone touches them he will kill everyone in this kingdom and then himself.

Niki, Jack, Sapnap, George, and Eret are all the Fairy Tale guys who are good friends with Techno and the others and are amazing. We love them. Also, Eret may not be official king but she may be one anyways, she slays in those clothes and she has good leadership.

Puffy, Sam, Ponk (before fourth movie plot), Foolish, Slime, and Karl are all apart the Antarctic Empire council and are overall good dudes. We love them here. We love them a lot.

Anyways that’s all I have on characters, might make Fundy both the baby and Prince Arther because Foxes age faster and stuff like that but who knows.

[wolfish-trickster]

Show, don't tell

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 1 815

Summary: your friends dare you to tell your crush how you feel. But since you're mischievious just like him, you'll do it in your way

Warnings: none i guess (besides my bad grammar, but you already know that) and Loki is slightly ooc

Tag list: @gaitwae @lucywrites02 @hard-to-be-the-bard @birdgirl90 @laramoonworld

When you were a kid you saw a little boy at your favourite playground. He never spoke, he only moved his fingers and hands strangely. When you asked your parent, they said it's called sign language and people who can't hear use it to comunicate.

Later in your life you met a girl in school who was deaf and lonely. You wanted to become her friend so you took few classes and learned sign. You two were always together, best friends till the end of the school. You two stayed in contact after you went your separate ways.

That was the past. Now you had another person in your life who knew sign language: Clint Barton. Actually, you taught him sign when he lost hearing in an accident on a mission. You were friends ever since. He introduced you to the rest of the Avengers and they became your friends as well. You began spending a lot of time in the tower, you slept over sometimes so Tony gave you your own room. It was smaller than the rest of the Avengers' and was practically the attic of the tower, but it was cozy and you liked it.

It was a cloudy friday and you just entered the tower. You and Natasha wanted to hang out (and how better than having a sleepover with movies, nail polish and classic girly thing Nat doesn't get to enjoy in her hero time?)

As you stumbled across the living area you heard voices. Most likely coming from the party deck. Strange, Tony didn't mention any parties.

You walked one floor upstairs and saw Clint, Nat, Steve, Bucky and Thor sitting on couches, a single glass bottle layed on the table. Everyone had their heads turned towards the ceiling. You looked up and saw Peter making a giant web.

He sticked a big spider plushie inside and swung himself down to couches. "Alright, my turn."

"What are guys doing?" you sat down next to Thor.

"Playing truth or dare of course," Peter explained as he spinned the bottle.

"We are teching Thor what people do to embarass eachother," Natasha chuckled as she was showing you her pigtails and childish make up.

"Can I join?" you asked.

"Sure, who knows, maybe it will land on you."

The bottle stopped right as Nat finished the sentence. Its openening pointing to Clint.

"Alright mister Barton, truth or dare?" Peter asked.

"For the last time kid, just Clint. Truth, I already picked dare twice. Let's hear your question."

"Alright, ummmm," Peter held his chin inbetween his fingers, thinking. He snapped. "What happened in Budapest?"

Clint and Natasha looked at eachother smirking. This will take a while.

~

After few more rounds the bottle finally pointed to you. Your heart pounded with excitement and fear at the same time.

"So," Steve sat a little straighter, "truth or dare?"

"Uhm...... I'm a big girl, dare!"

"Okay then, I dare you to-"

"How in the nine did that web get there?"

All of you turned to the entrance hall. Loki stood there, arms crossed, leaning against a wall.

"Uuuuuh a giant spider?" Peter smiled sheepishly trying too hard to be believable.

"We are playing a game to embarrass eachother. Join us. It's way more fun than I expected," Thor invited Loki.

Loki shook his head. "I have no interest in games today. Maybe later I shall join," his eyes locked with yours. He smiled softly and waved at you. "Hello Y/N."

You blushed and waved back. "Hi Loki."

The younger prince then turned, walked to Tony's stash of alcohol and found himself a glass.

You smiled to yourself. He ignored everyone in the room and said 'hello' to you. Only you. It felt good being noticed.

You felt stares on yourself. Everyone looking at you. Clint smirked and whispered something to Steve. Both of them smirked (almost mischeviously) as they leaned against the back of the couch.

Steve licked his lips. "I dare you to tell Loki you have a crush on him."

"What? No, no way. I change my mind, I want truth."

"I may be too old for this but even I know that's not how this game works, doll," Bucky chuckled at your poor attempt to get yourself out of the dare.

"But- I can't do that, I mean.... I like him, really but not like-," you noticed Natasha raising an eyebrow at you, "-that. Oh gosh, is it obvious?" you asked as you hid your burning face in your hands.

A loud and clear 'yes' was said in unison. You groaned and pulled your knees towards your chest hiding you even more. "This is bad guys. I can't tell him."

"A dare is a dare, you have to."

"But I can't! I can be glad a god, and a bookworm one, considers me his friend. With admitting my true feelings to him I risk looosing him for good!"

Thor huffed. "Loki is not mean. Well, not THAT mean at least. Besides, worse could have happened. Like that one time he and this maiden-"

"We are NOT discussing his previous love life infront of her!" Natasha interrupted Thor's story.

As they started to argue Clint smiled at you and started signing: *I may be deaf, but I'm not blind. I can see it in his eyes. He likes you and I doubt he will reject you. There is something pure between you two, would be a shame if not explored and deepened. * he winked at you as he signed the word "deepened".

His encouraging words helped you sooth your anxiety. He was right. There is something between you, you just aren't sure if that something is romantic.

You took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm going."

You smirked secretely when all they could see was your back. Oh, you are going to tell him, but in your way.

You found Loki sitting at a bar, book on the table, a glass of wine in his hand. You sat on a chair next to him and tapped his shoulder. "I thought you don't drink," you gestured at his drink.

He chuckled. "Just because I can't get drunk from midgardian alcohol doesn't mean I can't enjoy their taste. Do you want some?" he held out his glass to you.

You put a hand on his own and pushed the glass away. "No, thank you."

You heard a cough behind your back. Those bastards must be watching. Time to confess.

"Actually, Loki I came here because I got a dare."

"And what is that?"

You cracked your knuckles and signed out: *I love you Loki*

You made sure it was visible enough for the audience behind you. From the sound of facepalms and groans, they saw it crystal clear.

Loki on the other hand was completely confused. "Eeeh, they dared you to move your hands in my presence? How is that embarrassing? They clearly never played a REAL embarrassing game."

You shrugged. "A dare is a dare. I did it, now it's my turn. Want to help with my revenge?" you tried doing his signature smirk.

He grinned. "I would love to, my dear."

~

Few days passed since you 'confessed' your feelings to Loki.

Nothing changed between you two, he was still polite and charming as ever and you were comfortable in your role of a friend.

Now when you think of it, he began touching you more, not in a creepy way. He also started to make you cups of tea or hot chocolate whenever you visited or when he accidentally brusged his hand along your cold one. He let you borrow his books and when you returned them he eagerly asked you about your opinion.

Maybe something has changed. Maybe, just maybe, he started catching feelings for you too.

Your mind wandered to Loki again just as you were unlocking door to your apartment after a long day at work. You sighed, taking your clothes off and planing to sleep until it's time to sleep for real.

A giant bouquet of red roses on your kitchen table surprised you. You jumped as you heard Loki's voice behind you. "I just couldn't come bare handed now, could I?"

"Loki! What are you doing here? How did you get here?"

He scratched the back of his head. "Sorry. I had to see you."

Your heart sped up. "R-really? Well, that's nice but you could've just called, you know?"

"I still have to ask Tony to get me on of those phones. Listen, I.... do you remember that night, when you played truth or dare and you had to move your hands in front of me?"

You smiled at the memory. Everyone was so annoyed you tricked them. Loki would probably be proud of you. If he knew.

"Yes, I do. What about it?"

"Well, uh- could you do it again?" he asked with, what was it? Shyness in his voice?

"Oh, okay," you said and your hands and fingers spelled out your confession once more.

Loki smiled at you softly. He raised his hands and started signing *I love you too Y/N, I have for a long time. Can we, perhaps, be in a relationship? * he dropped his hands and looked at you hopefully.

You couldn't believe your eyes. He knew how to sign? Since when?

"I've been learning ever since that 'truth or dare' night happened. I wanted to know if your dare wasn't putting a silent curse on me."

You stared up at him. "Did I ask that out loud?"

"No, but you had it written all over your face," he chuckled and tucked stray hair from your eyes. "So, now that we know how the other one feels, can I kiss you?"

As much as you wanted to say yes, you had a different idea. "Even though I enjoy the effort you put into the confession, could you say it out loud? You know, just to be sure," you smirked.

Loki chuckled. "I know I fell in love with the right person. I love you darling."

You stood on your toes and your nose brushed his. "I love you too," you softly pecked his lips. His hands held onto your waist as your own snaked around his neck.

When you two parted he rested his forhead on yours.

"Loki?"

"Yes dear?"

"Can you stay here and cuddle with me? I'm incredibly tired."

You felt his lips on your cheek as he led you towards your couch. "I would love nothing more."

[omgjasminesimone]

Girlfriend Part 2

Bryce x MC

A/N: A lot of people wanted a part 2 to Girlfriend. Here it is. 

Keiki throws up her hands, before angrily ripping and crumbling up the latest page of ‘how Bryce should ask Casey to be his girlfriend’ ideas. “You’re impossible!” Keiki critiques, glaring at her older brother.

“Your ideas are all too much! I’m just asking her to be my girlfriend, not to marry me.” Bryce insists, dodging when she tosses the crumbled page at his face.

“My ideas are romantic! She would love all of the ways I came up with!” Keiki insists.

“I seriously doubt Casey would love it if I staged a flash mob in the hospital cafeteria to ask her to be official.” Bryce retorts.

“Okay, so that one maybe was a little out there.” Keiki admits. “But we’ll find a happy medium between doing too much and doing way too little like your terrible ideas.”

Bryce rolls his eyes. “My ideas are not terrible, they’re just low key.”

“If after a year of hooking up with her, you text her, ‘hey, I really like you. Want to make this Facebook official?’ I will never forgive you.” Keiki threatens.

Bryce sighs, running his hand through his hair in frustration. This shouldn’t be so hard. Of course he sees where Keiki is coming from. Casey is special, and deserves to be swept off her feet, but he doesn’t want to come off as corny or ridiculous.

“Since you didn’t like my diamond necklace idea....” Keiki starts.

“How much money do you think I make?” Bryce asks curiously, but Keiki ignores him.

“What about taking her somewhere special to the two of you, and then giving her your Hawaiian braided bracelet?” Keiki completes her thought.

Bryce glances down at the bracelet that’s always on his wrist. It has been for almost ten years now. Despite the fact that once he left he never went back, he does have some fond Hawaiian memories. The bracelet reminds him of home, of his roots. “I’d feel naked without it.” Bryce admits.

“Being vulnerable is a huge part of being in a relationship.” Keiki insists.

Bryce regards his younger sister curiously. “Do you have any boyfriends I should know about?”

Keiki scoffs, looking away with a slight blush. “No, guys my age are idiots.”

Bryce lets out a small relieved sigh. He definitely isn’t ready for his kid sister to date. “What makes you think Casey would even want the bracelet?”

Keiki looks at him like the answer is obvious and he must be dumber than she anticipated, but she deems to answer him anyway. “Because it’s important to you. Like she is.”

Bryce ponders that for a second, and then nods. “Alright. That sounds good.”

Keiki smiles. “Good! Where are you going to take her?”

...

.

“Can I open my eyes now?” Casey asks impatiently, blindly following wherever Bryce is leading her. She knows she’s outside, and she can hear the traffic alerting her they’re in a busier part of the city, but that’s all she can tell.

“Almost there. Don’t peek.” Bryce replies.

Casey resists her urge to peek, coming to a stop when Bryce does so a few moments later. “Now?” Casey asks again, her patience almost completely depleted.

Bryce chuckles, raising her hand that’s still clasped with his up to his lips for a soft kiss. “Now.” He confirms.

Casey opens her eyes, taking in Boston Commons among the Boston city lights. She looks at Bryce, a question in her eyes.

“Last time we were here, I almost told you about my family. But I was afraid it would drive you away. And I knew I didn’t want to lose you Casey.” Bryce takes a deep breath, looking at her intensely. “You mean a lot to me. And definitely not in a casual way. We’re not casual. I feel like we haven’t been for a really long time.” He adds.

Casey nods in agreement. “I definitely don’t think we’re casual either Bryce.” She confirms.

Bryce smiles at her, slipping his braided bracelet from his wrist. “Good, because I want so much more with you. I love you Casey. Will you be my girlfriend?”

Casey feels happy tears welling in her eyes. She’s been waiting for Bryce to ask her to be official for months now. She nods enthusiastically, unable to speak under the rush of emotions.

Bryce’s smile widens, and he cups her cheeks, pulling her into a passionate kiss. When he pulls away several moments later, he slips his bracelet onto her wrist. “Now, it’s official.” He quips, gently stroking her wrist with his thumb.

Casey smiles up at him, gripping his neck and pulling him down for another searing kiss.

“I love you too.” She admits with a joyous laugh when she realizes she didn’t say it back. She feels Bryce smile against her lips, pulling her in closer and kissing her harder.

Bryce pulls away several moments later, pressing one last gentle kiss to her kiss swollen lips. He sighs happily, hugging her to him. “So...Facebook official?”

Casey laughs, squeezing him tight. “Send me the request.”

Bryce presses a kiss to the top of her head, pulling his phone from his pocket. “Sent.”

Casey pulls her own phone from her pocket, accepting the relationship request. She laughs, turning to show him her phone a second later. “Keiki already liked it.”

Bryce chuckles. “She really likes you. Much more than she likes me.”

Casey shrugs. “Most people feel that way.” She jokes.

“Ouch. Such a bully. Keep it up and I’m breaking up with you.” He teases.

Casey looks at him seductively. “Why don’t we go back to your place and then I’ll show you exactly why you’re going to want to be my boyfriend for a very long time?”

Bryce grins, gripping her hand and tugging her towards the T station.

...

.

The next morning Casey gently disentangles herself from Bryce’s embrace, placing a soft kiss to his lips before slipping out of his bed. She throws on one of his t-shirts, running a hand through her curls to make them look more orderly. She quietly closes his door, padding silently across the living room toward the kitchen.

She passes Keiki sleeping on the couch, smiling fondly as the teen blissfully snores on. Keiki has tossed and turned throughout the night, causing the blanket to fall to the floor. Casey picks it up, gently laying the blanket back over Keiki’s slumbering form.

Casey tries to quietly move the ingredients and dishes necessary for pancakes around the small kitchen. She winces when she drops a plastic bowl and it clamors loudly against the tile floor.

Keiki lets out a huge yawn, making her way from the couch to the kitchen. Keiki’s eyes immediately narrow in on the braided bracelet on Casey’s wrist, and a smile slowly grows across her face. “So when are you guys going to get married so we can be sisters?” Keiki asks.

“Jesus Keiki.” Bryce complains, coming out of his room just in time to hear her statement. He ruffles her hair affectionately as he passes, and she tries to act annoyed as she straightens it, but she can’t hide her fond grin when Bryce wraps Casey in his arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Mmm, pancakes.” He praises.

“Just trying to show that I’m wifey material. So me and Keiki can be sisters.” She teases with a wink.

taglist:  @octobereighth​​  @akrenich​​  @lovehugsandcandy​​ @regina-and-happiness​​  @brightpinkpeppercorn​​  @choicesarehard​​  @lizeboredom​​ @hellooliviaolivia​​ @dreaming-of-movies​​  @friedherringclodthing​​  @weaving-in-words​​  @fairydustandsarcasm​​  @goldenjellyfish12​​   @pessimystic-fangirl​​  @mimikoasahina​​  @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl​​   @god-save-the-keen​​  @caroldxnvxrs​​  @cora-nova @emceesynonymroll​​ @choicesgremlin​​ @anxious-arliah @cordoniasmost​​ @ohsnapitzlovehacker​​ @crispycrunchyleaves​​ @debramcg1106​​ @emichelle​​ @desireepow-1986​​ @lilyofchoices​​ @liyanin​​ @dcbbw​​ @arliah-the-bard​​ @loveellamae​​ @simplymissjulia​ @kingliamsbitch​ @honeissweetness @dang-lahela​ @poorchoicesplayer​ @anotherbeingsworld​ @fluffywhitehair​ @sunnyxdazed​ 

[novadreii]

tw for bullying

my bullying experience in school was wild. i just remembered this one experience and felt the need to get it out the way i remember it, because kids can be so cruel.

in my case, it was mainly the popular girls who despised me so entirely that it was a bit concerning that that much hate could come out of these 10 y.o girls’ bodies. at first, i couldn’t figure out what it was about me. i wasn’t popular with boys, they would occasionally tease but mostly ignored me. i think i was just kind of meek and solitary and easily made myself a target by doing things like reading under my desk during class and at recess. add to that braces and being tall and lanky like slenderman for my age and i didn’t stand a chance.

i always made the wrong assumption that just because i was nice to others that they would do the same to me. but doing weird nerd shit alone like combing the dusty bookcases during free time instead of socializing ostracized me.

humans are social creatures. people who are fine when left to their own devices make them feel uneasy in a primal way that they can’t articulate. but oh man, they act on it.

the worst of it was a group of popular kids--mostly girls and a few boys--tricked me by inviting me to play hide and seek with them during recess. i think i was 11 or 12. i remember feeling shy but really pleased that they’d asked, and wondered if maybe i’d make some friends. it’s not that i didn’t want any, but i felt the hesitation of my classmates when it came to me and was unsure where i stood with them.

well, they made it really clear. i was hiding behind a tree (what i thought was a good hiding place) when i heard some giggling and whispering about 20 feet back on the other side of tree. then i heard, “okay, one, two, three...NOVA SUUUUUUCCCCCKKSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” in a chorus by all the popular kids, shouted at the top of their lungs with hateful glee for what felt like forever.

i just froze there, crouched behind the tree. the echo rang out across the whole yard and dissolved into laughter once they were finished. i think they expected me to just come out from behind the tree and storm off. but i was just rooted to the spot. it was the first time i can remember being hurt by a perceived betrayal, and one that i couldn’t understand. i’d never done anything to any of those people.

eventually one girl, her name was stephanie (who went on to become one of my best friends for the remainder of elementary and high school) came over to me still crouching in place like an idiot. i was crying, obviously, and she was the only one who had any remorse, or at least showed any. she was one of the alphas, a beautiful greek girl with long black hair.

“oh nova,” i distinctly remember her saying. “don’t cry. i’m really sorry. come on.” and she took me by the hand and led me inside, back to the classroom to my teacher who was working. when she saw how much i was crying she immediately came over and stephanie told her the whole story, ratting herself out in the process.

i can’t really remember what the fallout was or if anyone got in trouble. i was so mortified that i was in a haze for the rest of the school year which wasn’t long.

but over that summer stephanie made a real effort to be my friend, inviting me to her house and herself over to mine lol. the following fall, she effectively made me part of the popular girl group. and the girls, once they got to know me, accepted me i think partly because they liked my sense of humour. and i learned to not be so standoffish all the time.

i don’t really have any ill feelings towards this memory anymore. it was obviously really painful at the time, but for me, the lesson remains the same even today: people can be horrible, but not everyone is. i do my best to seek out the people who aren’t and to not be one myself. it’s all we can do.

once i got to high school, the braces came off and i got boobs and an eating disorder. this allowed me entry into the second most popular clique and therefore to escape the worst of the bullying. by that time, i recognized the importance of banding together with people socially to avoid being a target. i was never a full alpha, but they permitted me to be in their presence and they laughed at my jokes. i was kind of their bard and i was fine with it. i managed to get one or two boyfriends, and we would just hold hands awkwardly at recess and make out in movie theatres, which boosted my social status further.

once i reached university, i had finally solidified a friend group that felt real and not purely for display. a couple of childhood friends that i had reconnected with got along with well with a coworker that had become a really good friend, and the four of us were basically family.

of course, about 6 years ago when my depression got bad, i fucked it up and haven’t spoken to them since. i keep thinking about reaching out to them--i know they would be thrilled to hear from me. but idk. i’m overthinking it and hurting my own feelings, you know the drill.

my friend group these days is a few people from tumblr, online games and a few coworkers from old jobs that have stuck around.

i feel like i’m in a good place socially but do miss my old friends too. i hope i can get over my fear of rejection and just talk to them this year.

but yeah bullying sucks and while i definitely don’t see myself as a victim anymore, the social hesitancy it’s created in me is so real and annoying to get over. if i ever had a kid we’d sit down and have a looooooooong discussion about the importance of not treating people like shit.

[growingingreenwood]

Do you have any headcanons regarding Thranduil and co’s friendship/interactions with Bard/Bardlings (Bain, Tilda, Sigrid)? Honestly, I want to know about Thranduil and the Bardlings.

Okay this is movie verse but: 

Thranduil obviously would NOT like the master of Laketown, at all, not one bit. But he’s disliked human rulers before so he doesn’t really do anything cause like, how long is he going to last? Statically? Like, 70 years at most? Thranduil can avoid Laketown for that long. 

Once though, when Bard was still recently been married and a father of not yet a year, he gave Legolas and what was left of his patrol a ride to from the edges of the lake to the town where they could receive some medical treatment. Bard didn’t wait for the masters leave before he rushed off to the elves, to tell them he had found some of their people. 

He didn’t know that Legols was the Prince until after he had brought Thranduil to Laketown with the best Elven healers to see them. 

When the Master found out that Bard had gone over his head, he was furious. But before he could say a word about firing him from his barge duties, Thranduil took in the sight of his young wife crying softly at the thought while cradling a young baby in her arms. Interrupting before the Master could speak, Thranduil made it clear that if Bard was not the only bargeman that they dealt with, then they simply would just not do business with Laketown. 

And thus began the worst silent power struggle Laketown had ever experienced.

After that, Bard invited the woodland realm to the birth celebration of his last two children. Thranduil attended both of them, personally. So did Ferdan, and once Legolas did as well. Loving children as they do, Thranduil and Ferdan spent at least half of the night playing and dancing with all of the village kids. Sigrid got the privilege or riding around on Thranduil's shoulders for a good portion of the evening. 

Imagine Thranduil’s surprise and delight when the elves rolled up after Smaug attacked and he found out that Bard had fallen in charge of his people? Not only had his only person friends in Laketown all survived, he could now deal with him exclusively and there was no annoying master of Laketown to resist punching in the face.

He even went as far as even ordering his elves to try and keep Bard alive, if they could.

After the battle at the mountain Thranduil was the one to check all of the Bardlings wounds for poison of any kind. 

He started with Tilda, kneeling down in the mud to be her height. He introduced himself with the calmest voice in the world and politely asked to see her wounds. She presented them. While he looked for poison, he told her small story about another little girl whom he had met in a very similar way to this. Except that one had been a little effing, and she had appeared shyly out of a bush. Just before he stood up Thranduil gave her a little baked good and told her how brave she was. 

Next was Bain. The boy presented his wounds before Thranduil even introduced himself, but he did it anyway. Gently, he told the boy that he himself had fought a dragon too. He was there to listen, should Bain ever need guidance. Then, Thranduil told him that his people had said Bain had done a wonderful job of protecting his sisters and their people. He told him that even his son Legolas, a warrior prince, had taken note of his courage. Before he moved on to the next, he gave him a little carved tree on a cord to hang around his neck, with instructions that should he ever need the Elves, or wish for Thranduil specifically, to just hold it tight and think about his intentions. He assured Bain that the necklace would work, and he would never be alone to face evil again. 

Lastly was Sigrid, she was the only one who introduced herself back, and told him she remembered meeting him at her Tilda's birthday celebration. Instead of telling her a story like the others, Thranduil simply asked what they could do to help her, her family, and their friends. She has a few answers, but not too many, enough that Thranduil had a better idea of how to help the people of Laketown. She asked him question and question for as long as Thranduil was near, and he has to laugh at how much it reminded him of Legolas. 

After that day, Thranduil made a point to visit Dale at least every five or so years. And attended every wedding celebration for the Bardlings, and the birth celebrations of Bards grandkids. He stayed friends with the family (and their descendants) until he left Arda for the undying lands. 

[hungover-and-broke-student]

100 character development questions

these are fun questions so i wanted to answer them all here 

original post

001. When is their birthday?

- Today! October 10th 1995

002. Do they do anything to celebrate their birthday?

- Her parents used to bake her a cake but since living alone she just makes herself cupcakes

003. Does your character like coffee better, or tea?

- She likes both but coffee does a better job but tea tastes better

004. Do they prefer being alone or with others?

- She spends a lot of time alone and has convinced herself it’s what she wants

005. Are they in good health?

- Kind of? she could stand to take better care of herself

006. What sense do they most rely on?

- Sight, she won’t wear a hood if it obstructs her peripheral vision

007. Is your character an optimist or a pessimist?

- Pessimist cause she’s either right or pleasantly surprised

008. What is their favorite fairy tale?

- Chicken Little

009. Do they believe in happy endings?

- She does but for others, not herself

010. Do they believe in love at first sight?

- Unfortunately no

011. How would your character court the person of their dreams?

- Awkwardly try and fail at flirting

012. What makes your character embarrassed?

- Being made to look foolish or stupid in front of others

013. Have they ever been bullied or teased?

- Yep, especially in elementary through middle school

014. Detail one secret shame your character feels.

- She hasn’t been able to graduate on time and it secretly eats away at her

015. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue?

- Fists, she’ll start talking but get herself in deeper trouble

016. What is their choice of weapon?

- A box cutter she uses for work or a baseball bat studded with nails

017. When does your character think that violence is justified or deserved?

- She believes it’s justified to protect one’s self or friends and deserved when people do amoral shit. If you hurt kids she’ll curb stomp you

018. Your character wakes up to find that war has been declared. What do they do?

- Either not give a shit or join an underground anti-war resistance group

019. If they could have a superpower, what would they choose?

- Flight or invisibility

020. What are their hobbies?

- She likes sewing and crafting

021. How do they display affection?

- She’ll want to spend a lot of time with them and bake them cookies

022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen?

- She once went out to the desert and got to see the stars with no light pollution. The view in Gotham depresses her

023. What do they consider beautiful in others physically?

- Expressive eyes and a good laugh. Big muscles are a plus too

024. What do they consider ugly in others physically?

- Those who give an air of superiority 

025. What do they consider beautiful in others personality-wise?

- If she can have fun with them and not feel judged

026. What do they consider ugly in others personality-wise?

- Taking advantage of others and cruelty

027. What is their idea of perfect happiness?

- A life free from debt

028. What makes them laugh out loud?

- A well delivered joke or clever pun can never fail

029. What sort of sense of humor does your character have?

- Some might call it childish 

030. Do they believe in the afterlife?

- She’ll say no but secretly believes in ghosts

031. Are they superstitious about anything?

- She tries to read omens but doesn’t always get them entirely right

032. Does your character believe in ghosts?

- Yes, but she’ll never really admit it until she gets proof

033. Do they keep their promises?

- Tries to, but it doesn’t always work out

034. What’s their view of lying?

- Of course it sucks to be lied to and she wants to be honest with people but sometimes you need to save your own skin

035. What is the most important rule your character lives by?

- Don’t get stuck in Penguin’s pocket and don’t go to a second location, they will kill you

036. How honorable is your character?

- Not very, she’ll lie cheat and steal if need be but can be loyal to a fault

037. If your character saw someone drop a large sum of money and knew that they could probably take it without anyone noticing, what would they do?

- If they were just a regular Joe she’d at least try to give the money back, otherwise just take it

038. What bad habits do they have?

- Smoking, drinking, drugs, mouthing off to powerful people

039. What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person?

- Fucking with someone’s sense of reality and/or breaking someone’s teeth

040. What is their obsession?

- She doesn’t really have one

041. Are they comfortable with technology?

- Comfortable enough, she can print a document but don’t ask her to code anything

042. What is their greatest achievement?

- Getting into college

043. What will they stand up for?

- She’ll stand up for those weak or in need

044. What disgusts them?

- Cruelty and general disregard for others

045. Does your character have any chronic medical conditions?

- Chronic headaches/migraines that’s about it

046. How do they handle getting sick?

- Not well, she’ll be mad and grumpy at herself

047. What was the last medical problem your character had?

- She got food poisoning from a bodega cheese steak sandwich, spent almost two days vomiting

048. Do they have any allergies?

- I think I’ve said she’s allergic to tomatoes in the past but I decided to change it to shellfish

049. How does your character feel about growing old?

- She never thought she’d live this long, growing old is almost unthought of

050. How does your character feel about their own mortality?

- The fact that she will die doesn’t bother her, the question of how and will it hurt like hell does

051. If they knew they would die tomorrow, what would they do today?

- Probably just have a very chill day getting stoned

052. What is your character’s worst flaw?

- Not thinking things through and mouthing off to the wrong people

053. What is your character’s greatest strength?

- She’s able to notice things others might overlook and find creative solutions to problems

054. Does your character want power or authority of any kind?

- No, being in power doesn’t appeal to her, too many people will want what you have

055. Is your character an introvert or an extrovert?

- Introvert

056. Has your character ever struck someone in anger?

- Yes, she’s not proud of it

057. Has your character ever killed anyone?

- Not purposely, she tries not to think about it

058. What is your character’s idea of a perfect day?

- It’s cold and rainy outside and all she has to do is get cozy and find a movie

059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up?

- “beg your pardon?” from just being southern “ex-fucking-cuse me?” a phrase from her dear old dad “suck a dick, dumbshit” from bojack horseman

060. What is your character’s attitude toward education and learning?

- She loves learning, hates the price tag attached and was never really good in school

061. Does your character prefer adventure or safety and security?

- She thinks she wants safety and security but she prefers the excitement of adventure

062. What sort of legacy does your character wish to leave behind?

- A legacy of caring for her friends

063. How well does your character handle difficult people?

- She’ll be nice in a forced customer service setting and glare behind their backs. 

064. In what ways does your character annoy others?

- She can be aloof and has been described as being “a little shit”

065. Is your character better at leading or following? Which do they prefer?

- She’s no good at leading others, she’s marginally better at following but doesn’t like being told what to do

066. Does your character prefer city life or being out in nature?

- Being in nature is nice and all but the city has her stuff

067. Does your character believe in fate or destiny?

- Not really but it makes a nice scapegoat when things go wrong

068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it?

- She feels a responsibility towards her friends and family but especially for her fish, Gene

069. What about your character is heroic?

- She’ll stick up for people in need, even if she doesn’t know them

070. What about your character is cowardly?

- She’ll lie and deflect responsibility for her failures

071. How kind is your character?

- Depends on whose asking

072. In a Dungeons & Dragons game, which class would your character be? (wizard, fighter, bard, priest, ranger, etc.)

- probably a bard and annoy everyone 

073. In a novel, what plot role would your character fill? (hero, anti-hero, sidekick, villain, etc.)

- Villain’s unwilling underling, is in it for the dental insurance or to pay off her own debts

074. What is your character’s favorite game?

- Puzzle games, especially portal and portal 2

075. Is your character ticklish?

- Yes, but don’t tell her I told you

076. How do they express anger?

- Her fists will clench and she’ll probably yell or try to kick their ass.

077. How often do they cry? Over what?

- She either cries over any and everything or goes months without expressing emotions

078. How emotionally stable is your character?

- She’s not, though trying to work on it

079. How easy is it for them to read the emotions of others?

- She can pick up on emotions but doesn’t always get it exactly right

080. How easy is it for others to read your character’s emotions?

- Too easy, her face is expressive and gives her away more often than not

081. Is your character religious?

- Nope, if anything she hates the Christian God and actively distances herself from it. Christmas is nice tho

082. What are your character’s sleeping preferences?

- Either on her side or stomach under an absurd amount of blankets

083. What is the first thing they say and/or do when they wake up?

- Checks her phone and freaks out because she’s probably late

084. Describe your character in one word.

- Tired

085. Describe your character in three words.

- Doing her best (and failing)

086. How would your character describe themself in one word?

- Broke

087. How would your character describe themself in three words?

- “I’m so tired”

088. Is your character quiet or loud?

- Generally quiet

089. How vocally expressive is your character?

- Very, she can mask her disdain in a customer service voice but otherwise it gives her away most of the time

090. How bodily expressive is your character?

- She’s pretty expressive

091. What type of music does your character like?

- Lots of Pink Floyd and the Clash

092. What emotion does your character evoke in others?

- Probably annoyance

093. What is your character’s goal in life?

- Graduate and get out of Gotham eventually, maybe move out west

094. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to know.

- 1) How it feels to get shocked by an electric fence, 2) knowledge of decomposition specifically human decomposition, 3) how to hot wire a car

095. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to do

- 1) drive stick shift, 2) sneak around unheard and unseen, 3) hold her breath for up to 3.5 minutes.

096. How do they move and carry themselves? What energy do they project?

- She has decent posture but often carries herself in a way to project to others to stay away most of the time

097. How well do they adapt to change?

- Badly, she doesn’t like sudden change at all

098. Does your character like animals?

- Loves them, she’ll feed the pigeons around Gotham 

099. Do they talk to inanimate objects?

- Pretty often, she’ll apologize to a table if she walks into it and will greet stuffed animals in stores

100. Does your character dream? If so, what do they dream about?

- She has a lot of nightmares but usually can’t remember what about, usually about being watched or trying to convince someone of something and not being believed. 

[tinylilemrys]

Rating: T

Word count: 3,407

Summary: Richie Tozier was an open book – some would call it the best thing about him, others would argue that it was the most annoying thing about him.

There were only two secrets that Richie fiercely guarded. One: he had been desperately and completely inconveniently in love with his best friend, Eddie Kaspbrak, for years now, and two: Richie liked – no, loved – playing Dungeons and Dragons.

Richie Tozier was an open book – some would call it the best thing about him, others would argue that it was the most annoying thing about him. While it was true that you were never unsure of where you stood with Richie, there was also almost nothing others would classify as too much information that Richie wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing. They knew when he was angry, they knew when he was scared shitless about his Calc test, they knew when he’d eaten food that was more than a bit past its sell-by date as a dare and all about the day of spectacular gastrotechnics that followed, they knew (in great detail) when he’d found a new supermodel that he considered attractive, they knew when he had fought with his parents, and they knew when he was feeling particularly sentimental about his group of friends.

There were only two secrets that Richie fiercely guarded. One: he had been desperately and completely inconveniently in love with his best friend, Eddie Kaspbrak, for years now, and two: Richie liked – no, loved – playing Dungeons and Dragons.

He hadn’t meant to enjoy it as much as he did. He’d only agreed to sit on a few sessions because one of the girls from his Drama class told him it was really good way to improve his storytelling and improv skills, but after one session of being sucked up into the world that Will Jones, the Dungeon Master, had spun and being frustrated at not being able to influence the decisions the party made, Richie was hooked. He had spent all of that night creating his character and eagerly (though stealthily) handed his character’s backstory to Will at school the next day.

And that had been that. His little Gnome Cleric had been a vital part of the party for the past six months and Richie couldn’t remember what life was before he started playing.

Of course, finding excuses to duck out of plans with six other friends had proven more difficult than he initially thought it would. Though the party only met to play every second Friday, it was often when the rest of the group had made plans for a movie night or a night swim at the quarry and finding excuses to not be there was tricky. Though the excuse he’d finally settled on was guitar lessons, he could almost feel how annoyed the rest of them were each time he flaked out and though he felt bad about it, D&D had become too important to give up.

The only one who seemed to understand was Eddie, who had started tutoring to make a bit of extra cash on the same Fridays that Richie had D&D and as such was also subject to the ire of the group.

Eddie, however, had a far shorter fuse for these things than Richie did.

“Could you all just give Richie a fucking break?” he snapped one Thursday when Bill had complained about them never hanging out together anymore. “We’re in our junior year. Shit’s getting busy. You can’t accuse us of being shitty friends just because we’ve got other things going on. He’s trying his best and so am I, so back the fuck off.”

Richie had wanted to kiss him – even more so when he’d given him a shy glance afterwards to make sure he hadn’t overstepped.

Though honestly, there weren’t many times when Richie didn’t want to kiss him.

The Loser’s Club had backed off a bit after that, and it had become a routine for them to schedule their movie nights on the weeks where Richie and Eddie could make it. It had also become a routine for Eddie to come over to Richie’s place the day after the Fridays where they couldn’t hang out.

This Saturday was no different, apart from the fact that Eddie wasn’t quite himself. He’d sensed that something was wrong as soon as he opened the door, but when Eddie didn’t even fight him over which movie to watch, Richie knew for sure there was something up.

“Hey, are you okay, Eds?” asked Richie, setting down the VHS tape he was about to put on. “You seem a little down.”

“I’m fine,” said Eddie, but he chewed his bottom lip the way he always did when he was lying.

“No you’re not,” Richie replied, crossing the living room to sit next to him on the sofa. “It’s not your mom again is it?”

“No, not this time,” he replied, his face screwing up when he realised that he’d just admitted he wasn’t fine. “It’s really stupid.”

“If it’s making you this upset, it’s not stupid to me.”

Eddie looked up at him then and Richie’s heart jumped to his throat. He knew he was being reckless, that being this soft with Eddie would lead to him working it out, but he couldn’t imagine being snarky when Eddie looked so sad.

Eddie heaved a deep sigh.

“Okay, well, it’s my, uh, my babysitting.”

“You mean your tutoring?”

“Yeah, what did I say?” asked Eddie, eyes wide and cheeks flooding with colour.

“You said ‘babysitting’.”

“Fuck. Well, I meant tutoring.” He was looking down at his hands now, red-faced. “It, uh, it didn’t work out. I got let go.”

“Ah man, I’m sorry to hear that,” said Richie, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Do you maybe want to ditch the movie and go for ice-cream instead? You seem like you need sugar. My treat, since you’re broke now that you’ve lost your job.”

“Ha fucking ha,” Eddie replies, and though he rolls his eyes, he’s grinning. “You know me, I’d never say no to ice-cream.”

“Thought so,” laughed Richie.

Half an hour later, they were sitting on a patch of grass near the river, quietly eating their desserts. What he appreciated about hanging out with Eddie was that the silences between them were never awkward. He didn’t feel the need to fill the air with the sound of his voice, because it was always so comfortable between them. When Richie was with Eddie, he could just be.

“Thanks for this, Rich,” said Eddie, finishing up the last of his cone. “I needed it.”

“Anytime,” said Richie, lying back in the grass to look up at the sky now that he had finished his own. “Don’t stress about it though, alright? We can find you another kid to tutor.”

Eddie sighed and lay down next to Richie, propping himself up on his elbow to look at him.

“To tell you the truth, I wasn’t… I wasn’t actually tutoring anyone.”

Richie frowned and propped himself up on his elbows too.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I lied about the tutoring because I didn’t want you or the rest of the Losers to know what I was really doing.”

“Okay, so what were you doing?” asked Richie. “Since you telling me the truth now obviously means that you want to let me in on the big secret.”

“You swear you won’t laugh?”

“Oh, my dear Spaghetti, I can promise you a great many things, but that is not one of them.” The crease in Eddie’s brow deepened. “But I can promise you that, depending on how serious this is, I will at least try not to laugh.”

Eddie rolled his eyes.

“I suppose that’s as good as I’m going to get from you. Fine. The truth is that instead of tutoring every second Friday like I told you, ivebeeninadungeonsanddragonsgroupwithsomeoftheavguysforthepastfewmonths.”

“Jesus Christ, Kaspbrak, slow your roll,” said Richie, turning to his side to face Eddie better. “Tell me again, but slowly.”

“I’ve been in a Dungeons and Dragons group with some of the AV guys for the past few months,” Eddie repeated, his face the reddest Richie had ever seen it. Richie had been fully prepared to laugh or at least suppress a laugh, but none came. He was too astounded to hear that Eddie played D&D to do anything except stare at him. “At least I was until Steve, you know the president of the AV club? He said that because Grant and Matt can’t sort out their shit, he’s dissolving our party. That’s why I was upset earlier. And, yeah, I get that probably makes me more of a fucking loser than the rest of the other Losers, but I was really enjoying it. I wasn’t expecting to like it as much as I do, but it’s been really fun. See I play this Bard who’s less of a musician and more of a stand-up comedian and I’m starting to get really good at getting into character. He’s so different to me and it was just nice to be able to stop being Eddie Kaspbrak for a few hours to be someone else, you know. And I just –“

Richie places a hand on Eddie’s arm and his words, which had been flying at a mile a minute a moment ago, suddenly falter.

“You don’t have to justify it to me,” he said, knowing he should probably take his hand back now that Eddie had calmed, but somehow not being able to work up the will to. “If you enjoy it, fuck the rest of them, right?”

And it was at that point that he totally meant to tell Eddie that he was doing the same thing with his Fridays – that the two of them had been keeping the same damn secret for half a year – but it was also at that point that he felt Eddie’s lips crash into his.

Richie’s brain shut down. Eddie, Eddie who he’d been in love with for years, was kissing him. Eddie was kissing him. But no sooner had his brain began whirring back to life than Eddie was pulling back with a look of horror.

“Oh my god, Richie, I don’t know what I was thinking, I’m so fucking sorry I–“

“Hey, Eddie,” said Richie, smiling as he slid his hand from Eddie’s shoulder to his burning cheek. “Don’t be.”

And all thoughts of dungeons or dragons or the president of the AV club left his mind as he kissed Eddie, enjoying the taste of vanilla ice-cream on the lips he’d been dreaming about for so long, enjoying the way that Eddie’s fingers began tangling through his hair, enjoying his soft laugh as they pulled apart again, and especially enjoying the euphoria rising in him at the realisation that this meant that Eddie felt the same way. He was looking at Richie shyly through his long lashes the way he often did, but now he finally knew what that look meant.

“For what it’s worth,” he said, brushing back a tendril of soft dark hair that had flopped across Eddie’s forehead, “though I totally get the appeal of wanting to be someone else for a few hours, I happen to like Eddie Kaspbrak. Like, a lot.”

“He likes you too,” Eddie replied. “Like, a lot.”

There was no way he was changing trajectory now to tell Eddie his other secret. Not when Eddie was scooting closer to wrap his arms around him, not when the two of them were lying together watching the blue sky turn from orange to pink and eventually deep blue, both the happiest they had been in years.

He later realised of course – long after Eddie finally announced that he should head home, long after the hour it had taken them to finally move after this announcement, long after trying to bring it up during the car ride home, though being unable to find the moment to – that there was no longer a good time to tell Eddie that he also played D&D, not without an unnecessarily awkward conversation.

He had missed his window and now he hoped and prayed that another would miraculously show up.

–

The next two weeks were the best of Richie’s life so far. Though he and Eddie had both agreed to keep it quiet for the time being, there were so many stolen glances, and brushes of skin and kisses that the secret felt less like a burden and more like a covert and daring mission. So far it seemed that the Losers suspected nothing, to the point that they had even gotten away with holding hands the whole way through that week’s movie night without anyone noticing.

As the two of them lived the closest to each other, they spent every moment they could at each other’s houses (though mostly at Richie’s – his parents were far more prone to knocking than Mrs Kaspbrak was). Despite all the time that they spent together, however, Richie still hadn’t found a good way of telling Eddie that he was in a D&D party. He fully acknowledged how ridiculous his situation was – he couldn’t bring himself to say it, though he also couldn’t imagine that Eddie would be too upset if he just told him and it would mean that he could potentially invite him to join their party. Their party could do with a Bard. The rest of the drama kids were too focused on exploring the tragedy of their backstories and the idea of having Eddie’s quick wit and banter at the table was a glorious one.

There was just no good fucking way to bring it up.

It was getting to the point by Thursday evening where he found himself, for the first time ever, dreading the next session. He knew he had to tell him – he wasn’t going to give Eddie a sloppy excuse – but he was already curling into a ball at the embarrassing idea of not only having to admit to Eddie that he also played D&D, but also that, for whatever reason, he had felt too awkward to talk about it until then.

Thankfully, he was saved from having to do anything when a beaming Eddie stopped by Richie’s place on his way home.

“I can’t stay – my mom’s inviting people over tonight so I have to help her set up. I just wanted to let you know that I found another group that plays D&D and I’m starting with them tomorrow. I don’t even have to change my time slot.”

“That’s great,” Richie said, pulling Eddie into a hug just as the pager in his pocket started beeping.

“Shit, that’s my mom. We’re still on for Saturday, right?”

“Always.” Richie kissed Eddie on the cheek and when it looked like he was lingering at the hope of more, Richie laughed and nudged him out the door. “Go, you dork. The last thing we need is your mom not letting you come over anymore because she thinks I’m trying to kidnap you or some bullshit.”

“Miss you already,” said Eddie and though Richie vowed he would never, ever, be one of those couples, the sentiment made his stomach somersault.

“Miss you too,” said Richie, closing the door before he said anything more cliché and sappy than that.

Richie got to Will’s house early the next night to help set up the game table and set out chairs.

“Are you alright there?” his friend asked, giving him a curious look. “You’re kinda bouncy today.”

“I have ADHD – I’m always bouncy.”

“You know what I mean,” scoffed Will. “It’s like you have an extra spring in your step or something.”

For a brief moment, Eddie’s face popped into his head and Richie couldn’t keep himself from grinning.

“I guess I’m just really looking forward to tonight’s session,” he replied and though Will still looked curious, he didn’t press the matter further.

“Oh shit, before I forget,” Will said, taking a tray of pizza rolls out the oven, “we have a new guy joining us tonight.”

It took every one of Richie’s spider-man reflexes not to drop the bowl of chips he was setting out.

“Oh yeah?” he asked, hoping his voice sounded casual and not like his blood was suddenly pounding in his ears.

“Yeah. Steve Himble from the AV club says that two of his players were giving him shit so he decided to just stop the game, but he’d invited this guy from his Biology class to join them and he feels shitty that he dissolved the party just as he was starting to really get into it. Apparently, he’s really good. He’s playing a Bard, so that should be fun.”

“Yeah,” Richie replied, not sure what else to say. Was it too late to fake being sick to avoid the situation that was rapidly hurtling towards him?

The crunch of tyres in the driveway answered that question for him.

When the rest of the party had arrived and there was no sign of Eddie, Richie began to hope against all hope that Eddie had chickened out or that he wasn’t going to show, but there was a damning knock at the door five minutes later. Eddie strolled into the room a moment later, as adorable as he always was, cheeks flushed because he was no doubt embarrassed to be the last to arrive.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” he said as he strode towards the table. “I took a wrong turn and I got…”

His voice trailed off as his eyes locked with Richie’s and Richie, unsure of what else he could do to make the situation less awkward, waved at him.

“No worries, Eddie,” said Will. “We usually just talk bullshit for the first half an hour anyway. I take it you know Richie?”

“Yeah, we’re friends,” Eddie replied, pulling his eyes away from Richie to introduce himself to the rest of the party. When he took the seat next to Richie, Richie was certain that his heart was visibly thudding like in a Tex Avery cartoon.

“Sorry, Eds, I meant to tell you, but the moment passed on the first day and I wasn’t sure how to bring it up again without looking like a dumbass,” Richie whispered.

“The good news is that you don’t need to worry about looking like a dumbass,” Eddie replied under his breath as he set out his character sheet, notebook, and dice, “because you are one. And I’d be a lot madder at you if it wasn’t just such a fucking relief to see you here.”

He threaded his fingers through Richie’s under the table, and Richie beamed at him. The crisis had been averted.

Eddie was as good as Will said he was. It became instantly clear from the moment he opened his mouth that he was just what the party needed. His Bard was snarky, impulsive and had a witty comeback for almost everything. Richie had been right in his guess that they would role-play well together – their characters bantered back and forth seamlessly and it filled Richie with pride to see the rest of the party laughing at Eddie’s clever one-liners. It was also the best feeling in the world to glance over at the person he loved more than anyone else in the world and know that he was enjoying all of this as much as he was.

While in combat with several wyverns that had suddenly snuck up on the party, Eddie nudged Richie, pushing his notebook closer so that he could read what he had scribbled there.

Salvan is kinda based on you, just so you know.

Richie couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face, despite the twenty points of damage Lucy’s character took just then. He scrawled his reply beneath Eddie’s message, the words curving up because of the angle he was writing at.

Pips is kinda based on you too.

Eddie gave him a confused look and began writing again.

An angry little gnome cleric? I don’t get it.

Richie raised an eyebrow at him.

Think about it, babe. You’re obsessed with making the people around you better – healing – and you hold a disproportionate amount of rage for someone so small.

Eddie narrowed his eyes at Richie after reading the note, but the corners of his mouth betrayed his amusement.

Fuck you so much, Tozier. ♡

Richie’s stomach flipped at the little heart next to his name, and he smiled softly to himself as he penned his reply.

Fuck you too, Kaspbrak. ♡♡

Eddie blushed, and Richie wondered how he had gotten so lucky. For the first time in years, he officially had no secrets.

Well, he mused as he took Eddie’s hand again under the table, at least not from him.

–

@faequill