#like for some reason chris and his crew were marking everyone as if it was an exam lmfao

[evansbby]

I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THE DREAM TELL ME

OKAY SO

I’m gonna say it in the tags cos it’s less embarrassing ajdjsjsjka

[firecat17]

My thoughts and expectations for Moana 2

Holy s***, to say the least.

After seven years.

After the announcement of a live-action remake.

After having heard way back in 2020 that they were making a Disney+ series.

Whoa.

I just can't take it in.

Of course, like everyone, I have thoughts and expectations regarding this unexpected sequel.

First things first.

According to Disney,

"Moana 2 takes audiences on an expansive new voyage with Moana, Maui and a brand-new crew of unlikely seafarers. After receiving an unexpected call from her wayfinding ancestors, Moana must journey to the far seas of Oceania and into dangerous, long-lost waters for an adventure unlike anything she’s ever faced."

So there's the first synopsis. Let's delve in a little deeper.

Moana gets a message from her ancestors. Okay, then. She must journey to the far seas of Oceania and into dangerous, long-lost waters for an adventure "unlike anything she's ever faced."

So that means the film will be taking us to the farthest corners of the Pacific Ocean. Does that mean its edges, like continental Asia or North America? Or Australia? Or even the chilly subantarctic waters? I'd love to see Moana and the gang to to China (which, as you may know, I'm obsessed with thanks to Kung Fu Panda), or the Americas (especially the west coast of the Andean region, which actually may have been landed on by Polynesians in the precolumbian era). It fits her peoples' role as explorers and discoverers.

Of course, all of us have been wondering where Moana would go ever since 2016. Then in late 2020, like I mentioned earlier, they announced a Moana series on Disney+, set to release this year. Well, it looks like this movie will be the reworking of that very series.

Now let's talk about some concerns I have.

The original directors and Lin-Manuel Miranda aren't returning.

It's probably a reworking of the series.

Sequels have a habit of not living up to the original.

Disney's recent animated works have failed.

It may have a Woke agenda.

The original directors and Lin-Manuel Miranda aren't returning.

Longtime veteran director pair John Musker and Ron Clements directed the first movie. With the help of a five-year research trip to Polynesia and countless consultants on all things Polynesian, combined with their refined directing skills, Musker and Clements made Moana the (however imperfect) masterpiece it is. Of course, they couldn't have made it a masterpiece music-wise without the help of acclaimed songwriter Lin-Manuel Miranda. It's when sequels lose their predecessors' original directors-a key guiding star to a movie's success-that they go down the wrong path. Look at Ice Age, for example. The latter sequels of that notoriously apostate franchise weren't directed by the original directors, Chris Wedge and Carlos Saldanha. That alone wasn't the sole reason for the franchise's apostasy, though.

But enough about Ice Age. Without Lin-Manuel Miranda, I doubt the songs will live up to those of the original. I'm not exactly a fan of Lin-Manuel Miranda, but if the success of Moana and Encanto are any indication, I can trust him with a film's music. Without him, the music probably won't feel the same. On the other hand, at least Opetaia Foa'i and Mark Mancina are returning. The former, a Polynesian and patriarch of world-renowned band Te Vaka, helped immensely to give the first movie's music an authentic Polynesian feel, with songs partially or entirely in Samoan or Tokelauan. In other words, I'm thankful for him and his band. I also trust Mark Mancina, who has worked on films like Tarzan and Brother Bear. Still, that being said, I'll try to keep my expectations for the music sub-par.

2. It's probably a reworking of the series.

This isn't the first time a planned series has been reworked into a series. After Atlantis: The Lost Empire's release in 2001, Disney planned to make a series, but cancelled it and reworked it into a suckish sequel, with poor animation and stories literally just grafted together from 3 episodes. When the Moana series was announced in 2020, I felt a part of myself leap for joy. We all know TV series don't give as much hype as movies, but they have strengths that movies lack, one of them being the format in which the story is being told. A movie's story has to be abridged and crammed into a timeframe of about 2 or 3 hours, whereas a series can space the story out and give plenty of room for development of many aspects of the story over several episodes, something that a movie can't do. If Moana 2 does the same thing that Atlantis: Milo's Return did and poorly graft a few episodes' stories together with poor, if any, consistency flowing between the stories, I'm going to puke. We can hope that's not the case, but there's no guarantee of that.

3. Sequels have a habit of not living up to the original.

We've seen this trend all too many times. From Frozen 2, which did a mediocre job at best, to the Ice Age and Land Before Time sequels, which utterly ruined their franchises, sequels prove time and time again that they're not child's play. Of course, there are exceptions, such as Kung Fu Panda 2, but they are few and far in between. With how Frozen 2 turned out, I unfortunately expect this movie, too, to be downgraded from the original that I came to love so much.

4. Disney's recent animated works have failed.

Strange World flopped and Wish was, simply put it, suckish. In other words, looks like Disney is slowly but surely going down the drain. And for a sequel, of anything, to be made in this particular struggle means serious concern. Is Disney truly losing its charm like so many people fear it is? I certainly fear the answer is yes. I'd like to hope that this movie will be untouched by this crisis, but I just can't be sure.

5. It may have a Woke agenda.

I encourage left-wingers to steer clear of this section, lest they get upset and call me a Karen.

Since about 2020, the beginning of the Woke era, Disney has increasingly integrated Woke ideologies such as the LGBT+ movement and radical feminism into its once-family-friendly content, with examples being Onward, Lightyear, and Strange World. That's why I'm very, very thankful that the first movie was made-and finished-when it was. Otherwise, it, too, very likely would've been defiled by Wokeness. We're a few years into the Woke era now and the results on society and culture haven't been pretty. I fear this film will be pushing an unnecessary and unhealthy agenda that the first film was safe from. There's no guarantee that this film will be Woke, but there's no guarantee it won't be, either.

So there you have my main concerns for this film. Being a hardcore Moana fan, I want to be excited. This official confirmation was made literally less than a year away from its release date and the fandom has been waiting close to a decade for this.

But, like with any sequels, there are concerns to be addressed, and addressing the concerns is exactly what I've just done.

So, will Moana 2 live up to its predecessor? Or will it meet the same usual fate as countless other sequels before and yet to come? Only time will tell.

[ulkaralakbarova]

An American oil company sends a man to Scotland to buy up an entire village where they want to build a refinery. But things don’t go as expected. Credits: TheMovieDb. Film Cast: Felix Happer: Burt Lancaster Mac: Peter Riegert Urquhart: Denis Lawson Ben: Fulton Mackay Oldsen: Peter Capaldi Stella: Jennifer Black Marina: Jenny Seagrove Moritz: Norman Chancer Geddes: Rikki Fulton Watt: Alex Norton Victor: Christopher Rozycki Rev Macpherson: Gyearbuor Asante Cal: John M. Jackson Donaldson: Dan Ammerman Roddy: Tam Dean Burn Ricky: John Gordon Sinclair Pauline: Caroline Guthrie Iain: Jimmy Yuill Mrs Wyatt: Karen Douglas Skipper: Kenny Ireland Mrs Fraser: Sandra Voe Fountain: Harlan Jordan Peter: Charles Kearney Gideon: David Mowat Anderson: John Poland Linda Fraser: Ann Scott-Jones Mr Bulloch: Ian Stewart Jonathan: Jonathan Watson Fraser: Dave Anderson Andrew: Ray Jeffries Edward: James Kennedy Sandy: Willie Joss Russian Girl: Tanya Ticktin Old Lady: Edith Ruddick Switchboard Operator: Betty Macey Switchboard Operator: Michelle McCarel Switchboard Operator: Anne Thompson Ace Tone: Brian Rowan Ace Tone: Mark Winchester Ace Tone: Alan Clark Ace Tone: Alan Darby Ace Tone: Roddy Murray Ace Tone: Dale Winchester Baby: Luke Coulter Crabbe: Buddy Quaid Film Crew: Producer: David Puttnam Original Music Composer: Mark Knopfler Lighting Camera: Chris Menges Editor: Michael Bradsell Screenplay: Bill Forsyth Art Direction: Frank Walsh Associate Producer: Iain Smith Production Design: Roger Murray-Leach Art Direction: Ian Watson Art Direction: Adrienne Atkinson First Assistant Director: Jonathan Benson Camera Operator: Michael Coulter Property Master: Arthur Wicks First Assistant Editor: Jim Howe Boom Operator: Mike Tucker Movie Reviews: CinemaSerf: Burt Lancaster is the multi-millionaire oil magnate “Felix Happer” who despatches one of his minions (Peter Riegert) to Scotland to buy up a village to turn it into an oil refinery. Once he arrives, he is taken for a bit of a ride by the canny locals as they try to milk him for as much cash as they can. In the days before cell phones; he has to call his boss from the phone box reporting his lack of progress and some astronomical sightings until eventually Happer comes over himself and immediately strikes up a rapport with Fulton Mackay who lives on the beach (and who is steadfastly refusing to sell). It is is simple story very well told with a slightly unpredictable, happy ending and a brilliant score from Mark Knopfler. Filipe Manuel Neto: **Slow, with boring characters and dialogues and a disjointed script, this film does not justify the “hype” around it.** This is one of those indie films that has won over a legion of self-confessed admirers. It’s a film that everyone speaks highly of, as if it were a solid masterpiece. I didn’t know that when I saw it for the first time, so I saw it without a lot of expectations. I’m glad I did it: despite recognizing some merits, I am convinced that the film has been well overrated. The proof is the way it fell into oblivion! If we exclude fans and movie nerds who know everything (and when they don’t, they make it up) who really remembers this movie? The film revolves around a story that is very simple: in the north of Scotland, there is a small bay with a beach and a sleepy village. When a rich oil entrepreneur decides to buy all that to build a huge refinery and a terminal for oil tankers, all those people are expectant, wanting to sell what they have for the best price. Only two people disagree: a marine biologist who want to preserve and study the local, and an old simpleton who owns a good part of that beach. The film had some potential, but it lacks solidity and a good script. Time is spent in sterile dialogue, rambling about comets, constellations and flirting. It is also very unbelievable, as a project like this would never be so consensual, there are always those who oppose it for financial or ecological reasons, or mere nostalgia. If director Bill Forsyth decided to close his eyes to the insipidity and fragility of ...

[midnightstar-90]

Fire-works and sparks

Masterlist | Taglist | Request

Eddie Diaz x Reader

Summary: The 118 answers a call at a local community college, which happens to be Eddie's niece's school.

Warnings: Protective Eddie and Soft Buck

A/N: I wrote this on the 4th of July, but i’m posting it today. I hope you guys had a nice holiday. I had a funeral, a birthday party, and a holiday all in one week, so today was a great way to end the week.

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The 118 were currently on their way to an emergency. As the group rode, they all made friendly chatter.

"Eddie, you look happy today. Did you meet a special someone? Or, let me guess, you and Chris did something together," Buck asked, causing the man next to him to roll his eyes.

"No, my 16-year-old niece got accepted into a summer program at a local college, and she asked if she could stay with me. She's been going for two weeks, and she's already coming home smarter than me," Eddie tells his crew.

"I may not know her, but I'm glad one child wants to learn this summer. On the last day of school, Denny came home and said, "Mom, you can burn this bag. Summer is now in session." Now, he sits on his tablet playing Fortnite, or Minecraft," Hen says with a chuckle.

"Well, Y/N wants to be an engineer. So, the other day, she came home with a robot she built. Christopher hasn't set it down once. I had to pry it out of his hands just so he could get a bath," Eddie laughs.

The whole team smiles and talks about their kids. At one point in the conversation, Buck said, "That is why I don't have kids."

The team was laughing but stopped when they saw Eddie's face. He was looking towards the building with smoke coming out of it. They had passed the sign that said 'University of California'.

(I don't know where in LA Eddie lives, so I just picked a LA school with an engineering program.)

"This is Y/N's school. I dropped her off this morning, before work. Bobby, step on it," Eddie demanded.

Everyone went quiet, not wanting to upset the firefighter anymore. They pulled up to the smokey building, and there were about 100 teachers and students combined, standing outside. Some had their phones out, filming the firefighters as they worked.

Eddie saw one of Y/N's friends, so he went up to her. "Alexa, have you seen Y/N," he asked the girl, worried.

She shook her head and said, "She went back in to help, but I haven't seen her."

Eddie tries to stay calm. Bobby orders Buck and Eddie to go up and help whoever needs it. They nod making their way up.

"Hey, man. I know it's your niece, but are you okay?" Buck asks his best friend. Eddie doesn't answer. They continue to walk up the stairs.

They check every room except one, and so far no one was in those rooms. They get to the 'Tech Lab' and instantly walk in. They see a computer with sparks coming out of it. The tables and computers around it are on fire.

"Eddie, I see a lump in the corner. It looks like a person," Buck informs his co-worker/best friend.

Eddie rushes over to the body. He flips the body, and he sees an unconscious Y/N. He inspects her body, seeing slight marks from burns and electrocution.

"We have a 16-year-old, female, unconscious with slight burn and electricity markings, and she has had too much smoke inhalation. She has a heart rate of 38 bpm. Please, be on stand by," Eddie says into the com.

He picks up her body, and he rushes out of the building, with Buck in tow. He rushes his niece's body to his paramedic friends. When Hen and Chimney take off, Eddie watches the vehicle leave.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie waits in the waiting room of the hospital's emergency room. He called his sister, and she said she would be there in an hour. That was the reason Y/N moved in with Eddie because her mother lived far.

While Eddie was waiting, Athena walked over to the man. "I thought you should know that the one computer with the sparks was not an accident. We're currently talking to anyone in that class, or who had access to that class.

Them dang engineering kids know how to work a camera. We have a clip of Y/N starting the fire, but IT says that a hard drive shouldn't start a fire, and a piece of the tape is missing. This is now an investigation, and the person responsible will be charged for arson and attempted murder. Just thought you should know," Athena says, walking away.

Right as Athena leaves, Kendall, Eddie's youngest but older sister walks in. "Where is my baby, Eddie?" Kendall asks her brother worriedly.

"They are just waiting for her to wake up. They have her with oxygen tubes. She was the first one near the fire, and the last one out. I just found out that someone did this on purpose," Eddie told his sister.

Kendall wrapped her arms around her brother’s back, pulling herself into his chest. She cried as hard as she could. "My baby. She's all alone, with tubes inside her. My baby is the smartest, nicest, caring girl in the world. Who would want to kill her?" Eddie doesn't respond. Eddie watches the hallway, waiting for the doctor to come out and say they can visit his niece.

"Family of Y/N Diaz." a doctor calls out.

The two siblings rush to the doctor, and he fills them in as they walk. "Your daughter may have slight scars. We won't know the effect of the electrical current until she wakes up, but I don't think it's severe," the doctor tells the two before he leaves them alone.

"I'm so sorry, Kendall. She was in my care, and I couldn't keep her safe," Eddie apologizes, as he sits on the side of his niece's hospital bed.

"Don't do that, Eddie. Don't do that thing where when something happens, you blame yourself. She was at school. How were you gonna help her?" Kendall tells her younger brother.

They choose to watch over their loved one, as she laid unconscious.

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Y/N was now awake, after a week in the hospital, and now she stood at the police station. She watched the interrogation of her best friend.

"Alexa Trembly, you have the right to an attorney before we speak." Alexa just shakes he head "no".

"I'm not gonna lie. I was jealous. I always have been. Y/N does everything right, and she's every teacher's favorite student. All I wanted to do was have the teacher see that Y/N destroyed a computer. I didn't mean to set the place on fire. I put a bug on her hard drive to make it bug out, but I guess the bug was stronger than I thought," Alexa confessed.

Y/N cried as she watched her best friend confess to trying to sabotage her. She watched as the cops handcuffed her, and took her away. She couldn't stop the tears. I almost died, because I smart. What I don't understand is, she says I'm the smartest, but she made a bug strong enough to override the circuits.

"Are you okay, honey?" Kendall asks, walking out with Y/N and Eddie.

"No. I guess the truest friends can be the worst friend," Y/N says, sadly. "Uncle Eddie?" she continued. He looked at Y/N and nodded. "Thank you for saving me. Firefighter or not, you’re still my hero, and I love you," Y/N tells her uncle while going in for a hug.

Eddie holds on to his niece tight. "Even if I wasn't your hero, I would still be there for you. You and Christopher bring light to my life every time I see you. I have enjoyed these two weeks together. Come back anytime," Eddie releases from the hug and walks away.

"Can I stay with uncle Eddie until the time I was supposed to come back?" Y/N asks her mom, giving her the sad puppy dog eyes.

Kendall allows her daughter to go with the nod of her head and a smile. Y/N's face instantly turns into a huge smile. She thanks her mother before catching up with her uncle.

"Hey, uncle Eddie? You just gonna leave without me?" Y/N says hoping into her uncle's truck. Eddie chuckles, starting the truck up, and leaving the police station.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the 4th of July, Eddie took Christopher and Y/N to Bobby and Athena's house. There would be grilling and fireworks. When Y/N walked in, she thought she was in heaven. Their house was beautiful, and the backyard felt magical. The whole place was surrounded by the friends and family of Eddie's co-workers.

Y/N already knew Buck from when he would watch Chris. Y/N walked over to her uncle's best friend, and she sat down.

"I haven't seen you in a while," Y/N starts up a conversation.

"Yeah, I watched Chris while you were in the hospital, so you never got to see me," Buck says, while holding a beer in his hand.

He takes a sip, and Y/N continues, "Well, I know you were one of the people who saved me, so thank you." Y/N hugs Buck.

"Your uncle did all the work. All I did was find you," Buck says.

"Well, if you ever have kids, I know you'll always be there to save them," Y/N compliments Buck.

"I want to thank you all for coming. Whether your family or friends, you will always be family to the 118. Now, in a couple of minutes were gonna start the fireworks, so if we could all make our way to the front, that would be great." Bobby announces.

Buck stands up, and he reaches his hand out for Y/N. Y/N grabs his hand, and Buck can feel the electricity scar. He rubs her scar, giving the girl comfort. They walk to the front of the house, and they start the show.

Buck and Y/N stand next to Eddie and Christopher. Eddie pulls Y/N and Chris in for a hug, and Buck continues to hold Y/N's hand.

Y/N gets closer to Eddie, and asks, "Do fireworks ever bring you back to war?"

"Sometimes, but when I'm with you and Chris, I remember that I am home with my two favorite people," he says, squeezing us tighter.

We stop talking and watch the fireworks light up the sky. All the colors that came out of the fireworks were very beautiful. All the people around me, only made it better.

Who needs friends, when you have family?

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Taglist: @mrspeacem1nusone @notanordinaryprincess95 @jjpogueprincess @wiypt-writes

[writersblog20]

A scary movie

Tom Hiddleston x Freader

Big guest appearance: Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman and Mark Ruffalo mostly but the others are there as well but mostly these actors.

Summary: the reader is good friends with the marvel cast because her uncle is their personal bodyguard. So she hangs out a lot on set and with them. The reader has a very special connection with Tom and when he dared her to watch the conjuring with everyone on movie night she’s too stubborn to give up. but that seemed like a big mistake once the movie was over.

Warning: angst(?)

Words: 2700

A scary movie

It was movie night when Y/N popped down on the big couch next to Tom and Benedict. Her uncle had his arrows all day on her and you didn’t quit know why but then again he never really needed a reason to tease you. You figured he was really bored. The cast found it funny sometimes how you would bicker with each other. He was your uncle but it was more like an annoying older brother. He was the personal bodyguard of the crew on set along side other bodyguards of course. And you well you were a writer and photographer so you would photograph the boys for the movie which of course you loved and marvel paid you well.

“So what’s it going to be?” Chris asked while he looked around the room at everyone. Your uncle walked in the room. “what about a good horror movie” he said while looking at you with a grin. “what’s up with you today?” you asked him slightly annoyed. He laughed “nothing. Just I’m in for some good horror.” He told you while looking amused at you. You just rolled your eyes. “I’m game” Sebastian said and looked around the room. The others decided as well. But only if I would be okay with it. My uncle knew how competitive I was and I wasn’t going to give in.

“oh come on Y/N, you watch scary stuff all the time!” your uncle said coming at you. “that’s different” you told him “how? How is that different?” he asked you trying to get you pissed off. “are you bored? You are aren’t you? You always do this when you’re bored.” You just told him. he chuckled. “No serious. Tell me why that’s so different because the stuff you watch is supposedly true and real life footage” he mocked. “first of all no jump scares which is a big one for me. I don’t like it and second of all there is no tension. That’s a little different with a horror movie” you told him. “fine but we’re going to watch it anyway” he told you amused. I growled and made myself comfortable against Tom. “are you going to be okay sweetheart?” he asked you softly and you nodded.

Benedict gave me a pillow to hold onto. Martin (Freeman) was sitting next to Benedict and told me “Believe us we don’t like it either” he said with an eyeroll which made you giggle. Chris (Hemsworth) brought us all snacks along side with RDJ. It was his rent house we were watching movie night in because it was big enough and he had a huge screen which you loved but at the moment absolutely hated.

We were just in the intro so nothing really happened yet ( I don’t know I never watched the movie because of this reason so if I make any mistakes, I’m sorry). There it was though, the tension you talked about. You cuddled up more against Tom. He looked surprised at you since you were never really cuddly when there were other people around but he figured you wanted comfort. “is this okay?” you asked Tom and he smiled lovingly at you. “of course darling” he told you and put his arm protectively around you. Martin and Benedict looked at you and Tom with a sweet smile. They knew Tom was head over heels for you.

You always came to Tom to either chat or to let him read your new story or to read to each other. They would often find you and Tom cuddled up together in his trailer taking a nap. He would either be in his Loki costume or not but you would always cuddle up and he loved every minute of it. You really stole his heart and it looked like he wouldn’t get it back very soon. He even asked you to be his plus on the premier and you happily took it. Sometimes you both would go to the bookstore. He knew you were a fan from the minute he met you. That’s why your uncle brought you in the first place. But there was something different about you. You were easy to hang out with and it took some time for you to open up emotionally. And you all treated them as friends. Like said before you were really easy going and it everyone found it very nice to hang out with you. They all loved you dearly but the fact you chose to get close to Tom made his heart melt. He never felt this love and he was so scared to, well, to scare you away. He wanted to keep you close forever.

Tom forgot the movie and just watched you as you looked scarily at the screen with the pillow half in your face for some sort of protection. When you had a feeling there was going to be a jump scare you would turn to Tom and hid your face in his chest. You smelled his cologne and it immediately calmed you down. you really did try to watch the movie but it was just a little much.

There was coming a big jump scare and you could just feel it and you turned to Tom again. You looked up at him to find him already staring at you with love and adoration in his eyes. He scooted you closer to him and you put your legs over him and just hid in his arms. You heard a big scream coming from Ruffalo, who was in front of you. He threw his popcorn behind him onto you and Tom which made you giggle. “oh my god Y/N, Tom I’m sorry. God I’m so sorry.” Everyone started laughing. “it’s okay Ruffalo” you said chuckling and wiping away the popcorn.

When the attention was away from you two to the screen again Tom looked at you and chuckled a little. “you have some popcorn in your hair dear.” He said and started to fish the popcorn out of your Y/H/C. You both stared at each other for a moment and that moment didn’t go unnoticed by Benedict and Martin. They shared a glance with each other. They told Tom to just go for it but he was scared he would lose you which they could understand. “I ehh going to get something to drink. You want some?” you asked Tom “no thank you. Are you going to be okay love?” he asked you. “yeah” you said and gave him a smile.

You walked away and didn’t knew your uncle saw you leaving which gave him an idea. You walked down the hall and all the lights were off. “oh for the love of god. Come on!” he said. You couldn’t find the lights so you just turned your flashlight on your phone on. You walked to the kitchen and you had an eerie feeling but you tried to hide it. “it’s going to be okay” you told yourself and took a deep breath. You made yourself a gin tonic. You saw a shadow and got really scared. “Look it’s not funny!” you saw Martin come in the kitchen. “god you scared me!” you told him which made him chuckle. “I’m sorry about that. I see you are in need of some alcohol as well?” he asked and you chuckled. “Yeah definitely! If I want to get through the conjuring 2 after this” you chuckled. “I fucking hate this. I don’t even know why I’m still here” he told you and you nodded. “yeah honestly same! Hey you want to do a shot? Maybe it calms us down a bit” you asked Martin. He laughed “yeah let’s do it!”

You decided on which alcohol to choose from and you both decided on some tequila. You poured it in and gave one to Martin and yourself. You both drank it and made funny faces until you heard a knock after you two. You both looked at each other in horror. “Look it’s not funny” you tried to sound calm. Then a sound came from the other side and you immediately took a step closer to Martin. “you’re okay, you’re fine” he told you but then another noise came and you saw a shadow. “oh fuck no! We are not doing this you hear me!” Martin shouted and pushed you a little behind him. all of a sudden the lights became to flicker and you saw something darting away. There were sound all over the place and all of a sudden it all got dark and silence again. You and Martin looked at each other waiting for something. “Let’s just go back” you told him “yeah that’s a good idea. Stay behind me” he told you and you held onto his arm and he protectively kept an arm around you. You made your way into the dark with the flashlight and all of a sudden someone got you from behind and you let out a scream and you and Martin fell on the ground.

You heard someone laughing under the nun mask. It was obviously your uncle. You fell on the ground from laughing so much. The others came running to you guys to see what was going on. You smacked your uncle and cursed at him in Dutch. (you and your uncle were both from the Netherlands.) it made him laugh harder. You looked at Martin and he held his hand over his heart. “jesus christ” he said and rubbed his face. You leaned against the wall and you saw the others coming to you.

Tom immediately kneeled besides you and put his hands on your face “are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked worried. “no I’m fine I’m not hurt. Just got scared really bad” he helped you up and Benedict helped Martin up. “you’re definitely a douchebag!” Martin pointed at your uncle, who was still laying on the ground from laughing. The others started to chuckle a little. You huffed and got back with the others and sat down again. “are you sure your okay?” Tom asked you. “yeah I’m just actually really done with this movie now.” you chuckled a little when you calmed down a bit. “it’s still 20 minutes. How about I bring you home after?” he asked you and you smiled gratefully at him “yeah that sounds nice.” But then reality settled in and you knew you were going to be all alone in your apartment and you didn’t like that thought. You anxiously moved in your seat. Tom pulled you close to him. so close that you couldn’t even fit a paper between you two.

When the movie finished you and tom said your goodbyes. You weren’t the only one who were done with the night. Martin was still pissed off and decided to leave as well along side Benedict. Ruffalo and Paul Rudd left as well but more because they were tired.

You climbed into Tom’s car and you got more anxious. “Hey, are you sure your okay? He asked worried. “yeah I’m eh fine” you lied. You didn’t like to lie to Tom but you didn’t want to be a burden. Tom thought for a second. “why don’t you sleep at my place tonight? So you’re not alone then.” He asked you. “That would be nice but only if you really don’t mind” you told him softly. “Darling, I won’t get any sleep tonight if I knew you would be all alone in your apartment and if you’d be scared. Rather have you at my place. That and you’re lovely company” Tom said and blushed a little which made you a little flustered. “okay then” you told him with a smile.

Once inside Tom’s apartment you walked upstairs and he gave you his sweatpants and one of his shirts. He showed you his bathroom and you took a quick shower. Once you were done you saw Tom laying on a mattress on the ground. You chuckled a little “Tom? What are you doing?” you asked him “You’re getting the bed.” He told you. “yeah I can see that but it wouldn’t be the first time we laid next to each other so just get into your bed.” He seemed to think about it. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable” he told you. Always the gentleman you thought. That’s one of the many reasons but a very important one why you fell in love with him. “I would feel uncomfortable if you didn’t get into the bed” you told him and he got up to lay in the bed.

You chuckled and got next to him. you stirred a little to find a comfortable position. Tom looked at you amused. He knew you found it difficult to get into a nice position. He chuckled a little “darling just come here” he said and he didn’t have to tell you twice. You crawled up to him. You laid your head on his shoulder and your arm was wrapped around him. he put his arms around you and held you close. “comfortable?” he asked you and you hummed in approval. “goodnight sweetheart” he said softly. “Goodnight Tom. And thank you” you told him and he just gave you kiss on the top of your head.

You drifted off to sleep but of course you had to get a nightmare. You jumped up and Tom shot up beside you. “sshhhh you had a nightmare. You’re safe. I’ve got you” he told you all the sweet things. He laid you down again and took you in his arms while keep saying sweet things to you. “Tom?” you asked he hummed as a sign he was listening. “I love you” you said all of a sudden. You didn’t knew what came up to you. He stayed silence for a while which scared you a little. “I love you too you know that right?” he told you playing it safe in case you didn’t mean it like that.

“No Tom. I eh am in love with you” you told him softly. You really didn’t knew where your courage came from. He pushed you away a little so he could look into your face. your heart was pounding and it felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. “Do you mean that?” he asked and looked at you adoringly. You nodded. “Sweetheart I love you so much and you have my heart. Always had and always will.” He told you sweetly and got closer to you. He placed his hand on your cheek and caressed it with his thumb. His lips placed softly at yours. He waited a second but you stared to move and he slowly opened his mouth. The kiss was passionate, loving but dominating at the same time. You never experienced such a kiss and we are talking about a kiss right now.

You had a full make out session and after a while you both pulled away panting. You giggled. “Can I take you out on a date then?” your lips formed in a smile. “ I would love to” he smiled brightly and chuckled. He pulled you in for another kiss. When you both pulled away you crawled closer against him and he held you close. “I will always protect you” he told you. You looked up at him and got lost in his blue greenish eyes. “I love you so much darling” he told you which made you flustered. “I love you too Tom” he rested his forehead against yours and you both fell asleep happily thinking about what the future would bring. All of a sudden you were quit grateful of the antics of your uncle.

[playgirlpontius]

Random jackass furry au ideas for the crew

(Disclaimer: this isn't any x reader or romance bullshit hcs fuck that lmao)

PJ: he's sort of insecure bc he's a really skinny/scrawny bull/yak in comparison to the rest of his family 😞 but it's ok bc his stick boy swag makes up for it, he dulls his horns to protect ppl around him but even if they were sharpened he wouldn't hurt anyone, has broken/fractured his horns at least twice, the jackass skull n crutches logo is a skull of a bull with broken horns bc of him in this universe 💕

Bam: has broken his antlers SO many times... It's like always expected of him to show up and have broken antlers or some sort of fracture on his antlers, he sometimes decorates his antlers with emo looking flowers/plants if they aren't broken, he's a hybrid deer/bear mix bc April is a deer n Phil is a black bear 👍🏽 (has more deer features tho), very skittish and quick to scare

Chris: absolutely HATES being confused as a cheetah(a one way ticket to get beaten the fuck up by him), him and Ehren have beef bc they're both the spotted cats of the group and Chris feels he's better due to being one of the big 4 cats while Ehren isn't, Jaguars are one of the 4 big cats that can roar but he uses it sparingly bc everyone always asks him to and it gets annoying

Ryan: I think him PJ and Preston are the only prey-ish animals so the 3 of them bonded over that, sort of wished he wasn't a fish bc he thought being any other animal was cooler, very proud of his tail bc the rest of the guys don't have a cool fish tail lik he does 😎, usually has a lot of water around him for obvious hydration due to being a fish, makes a lot of merman jokes

Steve-O: sometimes wished he was a girl due to how female hyenas rank higher in society, raised around a lot of hyenas so is very invested in his own culture, extremely interested in other species cultures and learned a lot during wbz, randomly touches other ppl's dicks due to how hyenas show trustworthiness by allowing others to touch their dick and everyone thinks he's gay as hell for it, constantly laughing ofc

Ehren: was really shy at first but warmed up to the group pretty easily, a lot of tension between Chris bc the 2 of them r both spotted cats and often get mistaken for the other, part of his tail is scarred from a stunt he got hurt in, the fact that he can run really fast is used a lot in his stunts(they mostly try to scare him to see how fast he can run away 😭), can put up a fight against anyone trying to attack him(mostly Chris lol)

Dave: really chill guy, sensitive to bright lights and needs time to get used to the light bc ferrets have eyesight like that, very agile guy and is kinda like a slinky if you will, tail kind of fucked up at the end due to snowboarding accident(he and Ehren match but for different reasons), still the professional shitter but the implications r different bc ferrets shit to mark territory etc etc

Preston: one of those sheep with horns obvi, has broken his horns at least once, very sweet guy but obviously will fight back if provoked, PJ n him bond over being stereotypically farm animals lol, sheep have really good hearing so it's hard to prank him bc he'll hear u coming from a mile away

Wee man: I've decided he's a fennec fox for obvious reasons, originally he was a red fox but then I was like wait fennec foxes r perfect, radiates an indescribable happy vibe to him that just lights up the room tbh, naps a lot due to being nocturnal, bc he's really sneaky/walks very quietly he's usually the one scaring Ehren to see how fast he runs away LOLL

[razzle-zazzle]

1253 Words; I don't have any context sorry

TW for blood and mentions of vomit

Martin blinked his eyes open blearily, sitting up to rub at his eyes.

Whatever had woken him up was unclear—what was clear, though, was that it was half past two when Martin checked his creature pod.

And Chris’ bunk, upon inspection, was empty.

A quick search revealed a note there, so Martin no longer had reason to panic, but—

He didn’t think he’d be able to get back to sleep, too keyed up from that brief moment of panic at finding an empty bunk. He could try, sure, but he knew from experience that it wouldn’t come easily.

Might as well wait for Chris to return, then, Martin mused as he headed towards the main room of the Tortuga, book in hand. He switched on a lamp to give himself some reading light, casting the room in a soft glow.

Martin took a seat at the table and opened the book to where he’d left off.

Time to wait.

It wouldn’t be that long, knowing his brother.

+=+=+=+=+

Martin had made it through five more chapters over the course of the next hour, almost forgetting to check the time when he heard the outer doors trigger.

Marking his place, Martin set the book down and stood up. He’d meet Chris halfway, if only so the sound of his approach meant his brother wouldn’t be caught so off guard this time. They didn’t need to wake up everyone else (again).

Martin was halfway to the door when it opened, Chris swaying somewhat where he was standing.

“So how wa—” Martin stopped cold the moment he registered the dark stains across Chris’ front, splattered across his jacket and arms and his face—

It looked an awful lot like blood.

“Oh god,” Martin gasped, hands already on his brother’s shoulders. “Oh god—Chris, is that blood?”

Chris mumbled something unintelligible, leaning forwards. His eyes were distant, unfocused—like Martin wasn’t even there at all. Flecks of bile dotted his mouth—at least, Martin would certainly prefer that it was bile, Chris didn’t need more blood on him—and his shoulders were tense, jaw set tight.

Oh god. Oh god. This was bad. This was very bad. Martin’s hands were already moving to find the wound, the red flaking off where it was thin enough to have dried and smearing onto Martin’s hands where it was still thick and wet and—

Cold.

This was bad.

Chris shuddered, pitching forwards as though his legs couldn’t hold him anymore. Martin moved to catch him with barely a thought—it helped that he was already right in front of Chris, making the fall forward more of a slump into Martin’s arms.

Martin hissed as some of the blood soaked into his own shirt. This was going to be such a mess to clean—

But there were bigger things to worry about.

“Shit,” Martin muttered, still trying to find where the blood was coming from. “Okay, okay, it’ll be okay, I can wake up the others—” His creature pod was on the table, and Chris seemed to be regaining his balance enough to not collapse into a heap if Martin stepped away.

It’d be okay. It’d be okay. Martin would get the crew to wake up, and they’d help, and it’d all be okay—

Chris muttered something. Martin paused on his way to the table, already turning back towards his brother—

“‘S not mine.” Chris managed, voice wobbling.

Martin had to double-take. “What.”

“The blood,” Chris’ hands were shaking now, “It’s not mine.”

Yeah, no, Chris must have lost a lot more blood than Martin thought, if he was saying stuff like this. “Chris, this really isn’t the time for jokes—”

“Martin.” Chris hissed. He took a shaky step forwards, voice shaking in horror, “I know you’re smarter than this.”

Martin opened his mouth to protest—

There was barely a blood trail on the floor.

Yes, the blood was still wet, but—

It wasn’t dripping like blood pouring from a wound would. It wasn’t warm like blood flowing from a wound would be. And when Martin stopped to look—to really look instead of frantically search for a wound that likely wasn’t there—he could see the small bits of shimmery viscera scattered throughout the blood—

What Chris had been saying suddenly seemed to click, all of Martin’s observations combining together to form a realization.

“Oh.” Martin gasped.

The implications struck Martin like a hammer, the metaphorical impact knocking the breath from his lungs. He stared at his brother, taking in just how much red there was.

Chris grimaced in pained understanding.

“Oh god.” Martin shuddered, already moving back towards Chris, “Ohh god.” He grabbed his brother by the shoulders, the blood on his hands staining the sleeves. “Ohhhhh this is bad.”

There was so much of it, caked into Chris’ jacket and shorts and smeared on his arms and hands, too much blood for a single person to lose—

Some of it was smeared on Chris’ face, small streaks of red on his cheek and a few blotches on his forehead and nose—

And it was on Martin, too, smeared onto his hands from when he’d grabbed at his brother, someone else’s blood was on his hands—

This was bad.

This was so very bad.

“Chris,” Martin cautioned, his gaze still fixed on his own bloodied hands, “What happened?

Chris took in a shaky breath.

He explained.

It did nothing to help Martin’s nerves.

+=+=+=+=+

An hour and a half later, they’d managed to wash out the worst of it.

There were still a few small spots on Chris’ boots, a darker splotch here and there on his jacket, but—

Chris’ face was clear.

Both their hands were clean, now.

(But not really. Sure, the blood was gone, but—

Chris wasn’t sure his hands would ever really be clean.)

Once the worst of it was gone, Martin had added the clothes to the laundry. Hopefully that would take care of the rest of it.

It was about five in the morning. Five thirty by the time they finished getting dressed for the day, shaking hands slowing them down.

Both brothers were too wired to sleep, too stressed to really do anything but sit around the table and wait until it was more socially appropriate to wake up the crew and do their jobs.

Martin had his book open, eyes going over the same sentence again and again.

He wasn’t reading a word of it.

+=+=+=+=+

Eventually, enough time had passed that the brothers were joined in this whole “being awake” thing by Koki and Aviva. Jimmy wasn’t too far behind, as the one who usually made breakfast for the group.

Small talk was made over pancakes and eggs. Aviva had plans for a new invention. Koki needed to set aside time to repair the Createrra (again). Jimmy wanted to try a new recipe.

Chris and Martin were excited to get a good look at the various birds native to the area. The fact that it’d be a good way to get their minds off of earlier this morning went unspoken.

Neither of the brothers wanted to think about it. About the blood. About the bone deep terror from the knowledge that—

They weren’t going to think about it.

So they didn’t say a word, going about their day with their usual enthusiasm only slightly dampened by a deep set exhaustion.

If the crew noticed either of the brothers’ exhaustion, they didn’t comment on it.

Which was probably for the best, Martin mused. Better to just—

Just pretend it never happened.

[chris-evanslover]

Jump Your Bones

Summary: You and Chris have been dating for a couple of months and you finally get down to it.

Warning: SMUT

Word Count: 2k

‘I’m in a generous mood and I feel like sharing the pizza I just ordered. Come over?’

You laughed at the text you got from Chris, on cue, your stomach growling.

‘Be there in 20’

You and Chris have been officially dating for about 2 months now, but you’ve known him for years. You’ve been doing his hair and makeup for all of the Marvel movies since The Winter Soldier. It was the type of relationship where you both had it bad for each other and everyone else knew, except the both of you. After Endgame wrapped filming, Chris reached out to you and asked you out to dinner. It’s been two and a half months since that night and you couldn’t be happier, really seeing a future with Chris.

You got off the couch and put some leggings and a crew neck on, throwing your long hair into a bun and slipping on your slides you were out the door.

Pulling up to Chris’ house 10 minutes later, before you could finish knocking the door flung open revealing Chris and Dodger there to greet you.

“Hey sweetheart, Pizza just got here so you’re just in time before I ate all of it” He kisses you hello which you happily return before bending down to show Dodger some love. You moved into the kitchen and Chris handed you a plate and a water bottle which you took to the table where the pizza box was. You and Chris scarfed down the food over light conversation about how your weeks went, when you were finished you put your dishes in the sink and went to the living room to start the hour long debate about what movie you guys should watch tonight.

In a record breaking 48 minutes, you both decided on Night at the Museum, a classic plus Paul Rudd what’s not to like! Halfway into the movie you became aware of how closely you and Chris had moved together, you started cuddling with his arm around your waist and your head on his shoulder. Now you were practically in his lap and you’re pretty sure he was hard in his boxers. You and Chris hadn’t done anything except some heavy make outs. You guys had a mutual understanding that you wanted to do this at a pace that was comfortable for both of you and you didn’t feel the need to rush but fuck, if you didn’t want to say ‘screw it’ at that moment and climb him like a tree.

Feeling him under you sparked something, like putting on eye glasses for the first time, the world was clear. You were horny, extremely horny, and Chris wasn’t helping in the slightest bit. You didn’t know what to do, you were laser focused on how Chris felt beneath you, how his hands felt holding your body close. You needed to step away from him and gather your thoughts so you excused yourself and went to the bathroom. You stared at yourself in the mirror trying to calm yourself down and ignoring the ache between your thighs. You didn’t realize how long you were in the bathroom before hearing a light knock at the door.

“Baby? You okay?”

“Yeah I am sorry I’ll be out in a second”

You heard his footsteps get further away from the door and you made your way back to the living room, but you couldn’t find Chris in there. Wandering down the hall to the kitchen you got a magnificent view of his broad back as he was putting the dishes in the dishwasher, occasionally bending down to reach. Yeah, this DEFINITELY wasn’t helping your little issue. Your senses were dialed to 11, everything he did you looked at through a sexual lens. You didn’t know how much more of this you could take.

“Hello? Anyone home?” You snapped out of your thoughts seeing Chris standing in front of you waving his hands in your face. You let out a breath of air “Yeah i’m home, sorry my minds all over the place” “Yeah I noticed, you seem a little distant is everything alright?”. No everything’s not alright, I want to jump your bones. He smirked and said “Oh Really?”

SHIT! You said that out loud. You laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck “I-um, I obviously didn’t mean to say that out loud”. He laughed and nodded his head “I figured, but if that’s what you want, who am I to say no?” “Don’t joke around about that” You went to move to the fridge to grab another water bottle, honestly anything to distract you from Zeus. You turned back to Chris who had his arms at his sides, looking you up and down. “Who said I was kidding?” He whispered those words dangerously low. You looked up to his eyes for some kind of sign that he wasn’t being serious, but you came up empty.

“Take me to bed, Chris” He scooped you up by the back of your thighs and kissed you so passionately it made you lightheaded. He walked you both to his bedroom and laid you down on the bed, grabbing the back collar of his shirt and pulling it off. Thank you God for this beautiful man, you praised in your head. Chris came back down to your level and kissed you again which any other day you would take your time kissing him but there was one thing on your mind right now.

You pushed his shoulders back lightly and tore your crew neck off before Chris attacked your collarbones and upper breasts with feverish kisses. His hands made their way to your back and he unclasped your bra, freeing your breasts. You got nervous all of a sudden, but hearing Chris’s groan at the sight of your breasts dismissed all bad feelings out of your head. He took his time kissing you and latched himself onto your left nipple. Moaning out of pleasure you held his head to your breast and looked down to see him staring up at you while he sucked. He switched to show your right breast the same love while you reached out to undo the knot holding his sweatpants up. You pushed his sweatpants down as far as you could reach, Chris shimmied them the rest of the way off before he pulled your leggings and thong down leaving you completely bare in front of him.

The way he looked at you made you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. You pulled him down to kiss him again before his lips traveled down your body, licking and kissing every inch of you. He teased you by kissing the inside of your thighs, but you needed him to pay attention to your desperate core.

“Chris, please” you moaned. “Tell me what you want baby” you groaned, feeling a little embarrassed. “Tell me baby and it’s yours” “I want you to eat me out, Chris please” you huffed, swallowing your pride. That’s all the encouragement Chris needed before he dove tongue first into your pussy. His tongue ravishing your slit and clit and he sucked the soul out of you. Holy shit he was good at this, you felt your orgasm building steeply already. Chris felt your body start to become restless, so to help you along he added his middle finger into the mix and my god were you seeing stars. Chris sucked your clit so hard as he rammed his finger, adding another, using both fingers to graze your G-Spot.

“Chris-I-I’m, fuck, gonna cum” Chris groaned against your pussy and he went full force assault on your core. “C’mon baby give it to me” The coil inside you snapped as you came the hardest you ever had before. Chris cleaned you up with his mouth as you rid out your orgasm. You lazily watched as Chris stood up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and he walked to the bedside table to grab a condom. He came back to you laying on the bed, looking spent and pushed down his boxers, freeing his hard on.

Now, you knew he was going to be big. But, this however exceeds the word Big. He was full girth and massive, you were nervous it was going to hurt. He slipped the condom on and leaned over you, giving you a kiss on the forehead and then your lips. “Are you sure?” for some reason you giggled at this question, Chris giving you a confused look “Yes i’m positive, fuck me till I can’t walk Chris” Chris didn’t need anything else as he slipped his length slowly inside of you, stretching you deliciously. He was moving slowly to make sure you were comfortable but fuck if he didn’t want to start pounding you because of how tight you were squeezing him. Chris cursed under his breath as he bottomed out inside of you and you groaned at the feeling, never having felt so full before.

“You can move” you whispered to him. He started moving in and out of you, kissing you wherever he could reach. He kept a steady pace but you needed more, “Faster baby I won’t break” Chris let out an animalistic growl at this and started to really pound into you, hands gripping your waist so hard you’re sure you will have marks tomorrow but you couldn’t care less. You felt your climax building again, Chris pounding relentlessly as his left hand left your left hip and found your clit, rubbing vigorous circles. You moaned loudly feeling his thrusts become sloppier and more erratic, letting you know he too, was close.

“Fuck Chris” “Come on baby, cum all over my cock” He kept up his speed, little droplets of sweat beading in his forehead, veins popping out in his forehead and neck. With another couple of Thrusts, you felt yourself let go and cum, eyes rolling back in your head. Chris groaned and came inside the condom, pumping in and out of you slower, letting you both ride out your highs. Chris collapsed on top of you and pulled out causing you to moan at the empty feeling.

You both laid there trying to catch your breath, Chris rolled off of you after a few minutes and headed to his en-suite to throw out the condom and grab a washcloth to clean you up. He returned and cleaned you up before tossing the washcloth in the laundry basket and laying back down with you. He pulled you into his chest, laying your head on his pec and wrapping your arm around his waist. You looked up at him, “Not for nothing, that was the best sex of my life”

You felt him laugh under you and you smiled, his laugh being your favorite sound. “It was the best of mine too, you’re a very special woman” you blushed at his compliment and kissed him lightly on the lips. Before your kiss could go anywhere you both heard a whining and scratch at the door. You both burst out laughing at Dodger wanting to come in the room. “I should feed him, why don’t you get dressed in some pajamas and stay the night? It’s pretty late and I don’t want you to leave” your heart melted at his words, you nodded and he handed you one of his shirts and some boxers while he threw on some sweatpants to feed Dodger.

Once you were dressed you made your way into the kitchen to find Chris heating up some of the pizza from before. “I don’t know about you but i’m starving” you laughed and hugged him in the middle of his kitchen, you held each other until the ding from the toaster oven went off. He grabbed the pizza and some plates for you both and you went to the living room to sit and eat.

“Should we finish Night at the Museum or are you going to get horny all over again?” You playfully slapped his bicep when he said this causing him to laugh. You settled in next to him eating your pizza, laying your head on his shoulder. Damn you were really glad you spoke out loud.

A/N: Ahhh My first time writing smut, let me know what you think i’m really curious to see if I did well or not so let me know!! Requests are open :)

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[dtrhwithalex]

TV | Leverage (Season 2, Rewatch)

Rewatch of the second season of TNT's LEVERAGE (2008-2012), created by John Rogers and Chris Downey together with Dean Devlin and his production company Electric Entertainment.

In anticipation of the show's reboot / revival / sequel LEVERAGE: REDEMPTION coming to IMDbTV on 09 July this year, I am rewatching the original 77 episodes and writing about my favourite moments and things from each episode, season by season.

201: THE BEANTOWN BAILOUT JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 15 July 2009.

We here at the Rabbit Hole adore the Beantown Bailout Job very much (and by we I mean me). It is such a great season-opener and everything about it sets up the season so nicely. Also let me just say, I love the cheesy intro. I like to imagine that this plays on whatever website the clients usually end up finding the team. It would be so confusing. And wonderful.

This episode, of course, also introduces another of my favourite characters: Lt. Patrick Bonanno, State Police. And I am very sad that there is zero chance we'll ever get to see him in the reboot, since the wonderful Robert Blanche has unfortunately passed away last year. Bonanno was such a fantastic addition to this show and I love him very much. He is just brilliant in every episode he is in.

Aside from the introduction of Bonanno, Beantown is a brilliant episode for various reasons, but I wanna talk about this one most of all. John Rogers talked about this on his blog, I think -- not one member of the team can come straight out and admit that they need the others. It is the impromptu meeting at Sophie's performance that brings them together again (very much against Nate's best attempts). Only once they're at McRory's and Parker suggests stealing something to cheer up Sophie is when they all fess up and tell Nate that they want this team back together again. And then, of course, we have one of my favourite sequences in this entire show: Nate forcefully being bullied back into this family. They do exactly what he did to them in The Second David Job -- they get him to contribute knowledge to the case that they, allegedly, lack. And he knows what they're doing, of course, he's not an idiot. Well played, indeed.

I would also like to personally thank one Nadine Haders, this show's most brilliant costume designer, for every single piece of clothing she put on Christian Kane for this episode. That green sweater with the brown jeans jacket? All my love to you, Nadine. All of it. Also, uncharacteristically, Nate has some very good looks in this episode (the man looks healthy for once!) and I am unreasonably mad about it (actually, he has some very good looks this entire season).

One last thing: I would like to have a word with whoever decided to play the Andy Lange song here that Sophie's departure in The Two Live Crew Job is set to. It makes this first half of the season a circle. Who do I need to have words with? Who?

202: THE TAP-OUT JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: ALBERT KIM. Original Air Date: 22 July 2009.

An absolutely amazing episode for Eliot but also very much for Sophie. They are the Conference Of Mom Friends, and I adore them very much, thank you. It is a fantastic episode for them individually, but especially also for the specific relationship these two people have. There is an amazing post floating around on this website (this one here) talking exactly about this episode and Eliot and Sophie in the role of protectors in their team, their family.

There are a few scenes here that I really like and really, most of them are about or with Eliot. I love in the briefing at the hotel that Eliot does not just dismiss Sophie's misunderstanding of wrestling, but takes the time to explain to her what the sport is about -- and she listens. We also here get a nice glimpse at the fact that Eliot teaches them certain fighting skills and self-defence techniques, which I just love so much. Just as Sophie coaches them all in their grifts, he makes sure that they all have a certain know-how in fighting and protecting themselves. It's so good.

I am also very fond of both the moment where Eliot brings Sophie to the restaurant to meet with Rucker, but also Sophie showing up at the gym at night to talk to Eliot while he's preparing for the fight against Tank. Eliot gives away so much of himself in this episode, and it is very interesting to me that the person he does this with is, continually, Sophie. The others may be on comms, and might be, for all we know, listening in, but it is Sophie he tells these things to. It's like Hardison says later in The Two Live Crew Job: "We trust Nate to make sure the plan works, we trust you (Sophie) to make sure we're all okay." While I would not necessarily call Sophie the heart of the group (that's Hardison), she is very much the emotional centre of it.

This episode is also just very lovely to see how they all take to an environment that is, for once, not big city life. Eliot takes to it immediately, which makes sense, because he probably is from a town not much different from this one. Parker, somehow, fits in immediately as well (I love her I <3 Nebraska shirt). I feel like Nate never has any issues fitting in anywhere, he just takes things as they come. It is Hardison and Sophie who have difficulties -- Sophie because she is, after all, a bit posh and needs certain standards met, and Hardison because his world of technology does not mix well with a small, rural Midwestern town ("Can't hack a hick" anyone?).

203: THE ORDER 23 JOB

D: ROD HARDY. W: CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 29 July 2009.

I occasionally see some posts on here that call what the team does to Charles Dodgson in 512: The White Rabbit Job the worst thing the team does to a mark. I have to say, objectively, I think what they do to Eddie Maranjian in this episode is much worse. Of course, Dodgson is a good person, and Eddie is a crook, but still. Objectively? This episode is more evil.

Anyway, this episode has some fantastic moments that I adore a whole lot. I love Eliot and Hardison as cops, Sophie's act is absolutely amazing, and I have a super soft spot for both Nate teaching Parker what he is doing, and also Eliot and his side quest of helping Randy.

I am so incredibly fond of all these little moments where Parker's eventual role of Mastermind is already being planted. She always asks Nate questions, if she doesn't have a part to play in the con, she is with Nate, learning. She says it in the pilot episode already: "I'm really good at one thing, only one thing, that's it. But you, you know other things, and I can't stop doing my one thing, can't retire." And then she does her best to learn the other things Nate knows. This episode particularly, how Nate explains to her how NLP works, that what he is selling is fear. Nate is so patient with her, too. I love them both so very much.

Eliot's side quest with Randy and his abusive dad is an absolutely excellent addition to this episode. Especially after the previous Eliot-centric episode, this small thing just goes to show that, at their core, these are good people. Yes, they are criminals, the lot of them. But they are not bad people. Things like this just make me think that, it had to have been this exact combination of people Dubenich put together. Any other thief, any other hacker, and Nate would have walked away from this alone. It had to be Parker, Hardison and Eliot for this to work exactly as it did. And Eliot looking out for Randy even though they are in the middle of a con, taking his time to make sure Bob, the U.S. Marshall goes to see Randy, is exactly something that brings this point home.

Lastly, I adore that everyone shows up at the court house when Eddie goes to find his money. He knows they all conned him, but they know no one is ever going to believe him. It's a fantastic gloat scene. And I also really love that Nate explains why this works to the others: "So, here's everything you need to know about criminal law. Every crime has two elements, Actus reus, the act itself, and mens rea, Literally "The Guilty Mind." ... Now, for escape, the prisoner has to both break out of custody and show the intent to escape. ... Which brings us back to our friend Eddie and how the brain reacts to fear. In the heat of the moment Eddie didn't ask himself a simple question, who would doubt his guilty mind?"

204: THE FAIRY GODPARENTS JOB

D: JONATHAN FRAKES. W: AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 05 August 2009.

This one was Bernie Madoff inspired, if I recall correctly, who was arrested in 2008, around the time Berg, Downey and Rogers were already bouncing ideas back and forth for this season.

There is so much to love in this episode! Where to even begin. Maybe with Parker replacing Sophie at the client meeting? Or Sophie immediately heading for both popcorn and the cookie tin after the breakup? How about Parker perching on Eliot's arm rest with her food? Nate's headmaster act? Eliot as Coach Brewer (red is a fantastic colour on him, thank you Nadine)? Hipster rich newlyweds Parker and Hardison? The return of my beloved FBI fools McSweetheart and Taggert? Taggert being McSweetheart's biggest supporter in his affection for Parker? Sophie and Widmark? The actual science-sical with all these adorable kids singing about science?

So much to love. Chock-full of greatness, this episode. Also Frakes, once again, directed the hell outta this. I love this episode so very much.

One moment that does, however, absolutely win out over everything else, is the scene at Nate's apartment after Hardison and Parker meet McSweeten and Taggert again:

Eliot: One of you two can identify the gunman, right? Hardison: Oh, yeah, sure. He stopped and let me take a picture of him as I was chasing him. Eliot: Hey, you know what, man? I've been around little kids all day. I don't need to come home and do all this crap.

That line, Mr Spencer? "I don't need to come home and do all this crap"? Home? Sir, we are four episodes into the second season, and you are already calling Nate's apartment home. Honestly, that boy has been invested into this group as a family from the moment Hardison hands him a check in the pilot episode, if not earlier. And I am very much here for all of it.

205: THE THREE DAYS OF THE HUNTER JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: MELISSA GLENN & JESSICA RIEDER (GRASL). Original Air Date: 12 August 2009.

This is another one of those episodes which, when I think about it, I am not entirely into, but then when I watch it, I always love it. It's a brilliant episode, but the mark rubs me in all the wrong ways and I think that's why my general reaction to this episode in theory is mostly "ew". Which I think is kind of the point, as well.

There is much to love in this episode, though. Sophie being Nate in this one, Nate being very wary of this concept and also having difficulties letting someone else take control ("If you don't mind, I would still do the 'Hardison, run it' thing" Nathan you precious little man, I love you so much). I think it's so nicely done. I mean Sophie has run cons before -- she was the Mastermind behind the First David Job, and she runs their con in the Second David Job as well -- but then she was confident, now she is going through things, on the brink of rediscovering herself for who she is. And of course, it bites her in the ass a little bit.

I absolutely adore Conspiracy Nut Hardison and his fantastic apartment. Set Design did a magnificent job here. I am so fond of Parker asking Eliot about the different things -- the council, the moon landing, Loch Ness monster -- and also very much the bit at the end where he and Hardison answer Parker's questions while he prepares food. That ending bit overall is just absolutely excellent and I love it with my whole heart. Eliot cooking for all of them in Nate's kitchen, giving Parker stuff to try, while Hardison sits there and sips his orange soda out of a wine glass. Meanwhile Nate pouring wine for Sophie, and then going over to her to make sure she is alright. For his slightly more sadistic streak in this season, Nate is so good with Sophie here. And honestly I think this conversation here is one of the reasons why Sophie feels able to leave them for a while. It is Nate's reassurance of "Whatever you need, I'm here for you" that lets her take this leave of absence.

206: THE TOP HAT JOB

D: PETER O'FALLON. W: M. SCOTT VEACH & CHRISTINE BOYLAN. Original Air Date: 19 August 2009.

I adore this episode! The fantastic Veach and Boylan on the keyboard for this one (who, I've had to find out, are both tangentially involved with my latest hyperfixation, SHADOW AND BONE -- Veach having written my favourite episode, and Boylan being married to the showrunner), which is just lovely, because they are both excellent.

First off, I would like to, once again, give all my love to Nadine Haders for that Pizza Guy outfit she put Kane in for the recon sequence. A+ costuming, thank you Nadine.

This episode has so many excellent comedic beats and a wonderful many Hardison/Eliot moments. Sophie trying to set up Nate with their client is absolutely hysterical -- especially considering that she had just been broken up with and had been urging Nate to figure out what it is that is between them since day one. I especially love her attempt at finding things Nate has in common with Jameson: "She's a scientist. And well, you're a bit nerdy, aren't you? ... And food, she works with food. Well, you eat, don't you?" Like, girl, what are you trying to do here, really?

I absolutely adore Hardison and Eliot trying to get into the server room so Hardison can access the data they are trying to get before anyone can get rid of it. Eliot hooking Parker's rope to Hardison's belt, Eliot's complete awe at Hardison's ability to remote access their mark's phone ("You can do that?" Eliot, honey, he can do so much more), the two of them wedged underneath the desk, and then, of course, Eliot's huge smile when Hardison hacks the scanner at the door with the help of his gummy frogs. I love these boys together so much, and this episode has given me so many great moments.

I am also incredibly fond of Nate's magician act. That is a brilliant role and it suits him so well. And I love how genuinely enthusiastic he is about magic.

207: THE TWO LIVE CREW JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS & AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 26 August 2009.

This is an absolutely brilliant episode for so many different reasons. Let me get two things out of the way straight off the bat: 1) Where do I address my "Chaos For Leverage: Redemption" campaign to? and 2) Where do I address my "Apollo Robbins For Leverage: Redemption" campaign to? I want both of them back desperately!

Of course, this episode is important as a major stepping stone in Sophie's character arc. Because of Chaos and his bomb, she has to kill off one of her aliases which is the last thing that then leads to her taking a leave of absence to figure out who she is and who she wants to be. That scene in her apartment with the bomb is also just an excellent moment for the team as a family. The care with which everyone interacts with Sophie, Parker's instant pudding hack, Eliot's instructions on how defuse this situation, Sophie's immediate shift into protector mode once it becomes clear that the only real solution is to run and telling everyone to leave immediately, Nate staying behind and even when Sophie tells him to leave, waiting for her by the apartment door -- they care for each other so much.

I also really love the con-off with Starke's crew. It is so nice to see how similar yet different he and Nate are, and the same goes for the other crew members. I adore their individual confrontations a lot. Eliot's non-fight fight with Mikel Dayan, Parker's thief-off with Apollo, Hardison and Chaos' baby monitor fight. It just really highlights who our beloved characters are and what makes them them, now that we see them, metaphorically, in front of their mirror.

And then, of course, the actual heist is also just amazing. I adore that Starke chooses Nate as his alias to gain access, it is such a great move. Parker and Apollo talking in the ventilation shaft about birds is also just so lovely. And as an admirer of Eliot's arms, I am also very fond of his fight with Mikel. Good choices have been made, I appreciate all of them. The reveal at the end is also absolutely amazing. To beat them they had to save them? Brilliant.

Lastly, of course, Sophie's goodbye at the graveyard with Nate. What a spectacular moment. Also just, the visuals are so beautiful. I love the lighting here. And of course the return of Andy Lange's song, which is just perfect. I am so happy that this is the journey they decided to give Sophie when it became clear that Gina would not be able to be in the full seasons due to her pregnancy. They accommodated her so beautifully and gave Sophie such an amazing moment of character growth. This is why I love this show and the people who made it so much. All my love, to all of them.

208: THE ICE MAN JOB

D: JEREMIAH CHECHIK. W: CHRISTINE BOYLAN. Original Air Date: 02 September 2009.

We love The Ice Man Job! Another fantastic episode by one Christine Boylan who we love in this house. Our very first episode without Sophie being there, and it's a great one. I absolutely adore how they worked in moments with our favourite grifter in a way that so wonderfully accommodates Gina's pregnancy.

I absolutely adore the moments where all of them eventually end up calling Sophie. Parker, hiding underneath the bar after Nate tells her she'll be the grifter in this one, calling her mom Sophie in a panic without wanting the others to know, but still needing her advice and missing her so much. Then Eliot, calling to complain to his mom Sophie about Hardison going overboard again with the grift, needing the knowledge that his concerns are being heard and aren't unfounded, needs to hear the other protector of the family acknowledge his rightful fear that things will go sideways. And of course also Hardison, calling mom Sophie so she can pick him up from the party help him out of the mess he's made, hoping against all hope that she'll be able to help without having to involve Nate. The others both had the luxury to ask Sophie not to tell Nate -- Hardison had no other choice but to let her call it in. Lastly, Nate too, at the end, calling his wife Sophie. And honestly, I love that Sophie drops her phone into her drink after the call, because Nate is the only one not giving her what she wants to hear. The kids, all of them, called with an "I need you" and that is the one thing Nate doesn't give her.

There are many other things in this episode that I love very much. The opening briefing, Parker feeling alone on the big empty couch, trying to sit next to Eliot, but he makes her move. Nate's big DadTM moment of "Eliot, can you please sit next to Parker" and Eliot's very long-suffering oldest child answer "No! I'm sitting here now."

Then of course Eliot and Hardison's two moments -- Eliot telling Hardison "I ain't bailing your ass out" and then when he eventually does anyway, Hardison's smug joy, forcing Eliot to sort-of-hug him back at McRory's. Eliot's unsuccessful attempt to make him helping Hardison a decision forced onto him by Parker, and Parker refusing to accept the "blame" immediately. Their whole dynamic this episode is just so good. Neither Eliot nor Parker being happy with Hardison in this role (Parker's refusal to ride with him in the Ferrari), Eliot proudly watching Parker do her thing over the security camera ("Stuck it!").

Lots of love also to Pasha Lychnikoff as our main Russian goon, who is just fantastic here, our much beloved Lt. Patrick Bonanno, and also Nadine Haders for so many amazing looks, especially on Eliot.

209: THE LOST HEIR JOB

D: PETER WINTHER. W: CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 09 September 2009.

Court-room episode, which means we have our friend Chris Downey on the keys here, and he gave us an absolutely excellent introduction for Tara Cole played by the lovely Jeri Ryan. Honestly, the more often I watch this episode, the better it gets. Tara is just so good.

Highlights of this episode include: Sophie's immediate "who died?!" when Nate shows up at her apartment in London, Hardison playing "Where is Waldo Ford," Hardison and Eliot in prison, the first appearance of Nate's lawyer alias Jimmy Papadokalis who wears brilliantly loud and obnoxious suits in outrageous colour-combinations, Hardison stalling Blanchard at court security with his keys, Nate's reveal of Ruth as Kimball's daughter (I am fascinated that he completely drops the character here -- he is just Nate now), and of course, the reveal of Tara at the end.

Honestly, this is such a magnificent episode to introduce Tara's character. We have just watched the team scramble and fuck up without Sophie, and then their next job gets more complicated because of this random lawyer who shows up. And she's so righteous and law-abiding and absolutely not someone they should be taking with them on their job. And Tara plays it perfectly. Her honest try at getting Orson to talk to them, her confusion about her "dogs", her excited smile when she gets to con Blanchard and be a bit dishonest -- it is so good. And then we get that complete 180° when the team finds her in Nate's apartment. Not just visually, but the personality. Her voice drops a bit too. Jeri fucking rocked this introduction. The reveal is so damn good.

210: THE RUNWAY JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: ALBERT KIM. Original Air Date: 13 January 2010.

I have zero interest in fashion but I honest to God love every single one of these characters at fashion week. Fashion!Eliot is absolutely fantastical and I love him. Julien, my beloved. Fashion!Parker is very cute with her braid and even before she gets the model makeover she outshines every single other person at the event. Fashion!Hardison is surprisingly understated but I dig it. Tara as Caprina is also just excellent. And I absolutely, un-ironically adore Fashion!Nate. Jacques is such a character. Nate exchanged the usual "obnoxious and greasy" with "gay," slapped some would-be-French that sounds like German on top of it, and called it a character. And I love it.

I also very much love the three video calls with Sophie in this episode. The kids calling in the beginning, complaining about Tara. I absolutely adore both the "she's hot" moment and Eliot's "...and all the way to Europe?" when Sophie says Nate lets what is good for him walk out the door. Parker's little "I just miss you" before they hang up has me all the way up in my emotions every damn time. Tara calling Sophie to complain about Nate is also just excellent. The whole bit with Nate's "I'm sexy because I'm broken" thing is just *chef's kiss*. And of course Nate's call at the end. I love that Sophie hangs up on him, it is so fair, it is absolutely justified. And I think he knows that too.

So many great other moments too -- Hardison's Steven Seagal comment about Eliot's clothes, Nate's "Julien, sweetheart" and Eliot's little clap before taking the money, Nate and Parker at the mark's house, Eliot and Tara vs the Triads, Eliot and Parker at fashion week together ("It's a fashion show, not Thieves'R'Us"), and of course Tara's "For what it's worth, Sophie was right. You guys are the best I've ever seen ... But no one in the world, is as good as you think you are."

211: THE BOTTLE JOB

D: JONATHAN FRAKES. W: CHRISTINE BOYLAN. Original Air Date: 20 January 2010.

This episode has got to be one of my favourites, if I were forced to chose some. I love a bottle episode, and this one is just magnificent. Excellent client, great mark, fantastic additional characters, wonderful episode for the team. All around just, so good. Not surprising if Frakes and Boylan are at the wheel together, of course.

The addition of Cora is so lovely. I would have loved to see more of her, to be honest. She is such a great character. I love what her presence does to who we see Nate as. I adore when characters get to show new sides of themselves, it's so nice. Also, Nate's comment to Eliot about him not wanting Eliot to like Cora because she's like his niece? Most excellent.

I adore our three police officers too. Mickey, Danny and Johnny are such great additions. I really liked them. How they just went with whatever Nate was planning and in the end decided to just pretend none of this ever happened, it's just so good.

Doyle and the Liams as our villains of the week are also just fantastic. Also I just love Irish accents, it sounds so good. I love to hear it.

Other highlights of this episode include: Tara's "I'm Trish and I'm lonely", the kids going for their individual emergency funds stashed in Nate's place (they are all so fantastically in character, I love it), Nate using his dad's name as his alias, everyone stopping to see if Nate is going to succumb to the booze again, Hardison's excitement about pulling off the wire in under 2h, Hardison faking the weather, Eliot and Parker on safe duty. Also, rewatching this episode, I am absolutely 100% convinced that what Eliot is doing to distract the Liams from Tara conning Doyle, absolutely categorises as flirting. The way he throws that dart at the board and then buys them beer? Mr Spencer, sir, you are flirting with these guys.

212: THE ZANZIBAR MARKETPLACE JOB

D: JEREMIAH CHECHIK. W: MELISSA GLENN & JESSICA RIEDER (GRASL). Original Air Date: 27 January 2010.

The wonder twins with yet another magnificent episode. No surprises here. We have not just the return of Maggie but also of Sterling! We love this!!! (Seriously, I want both of them back in the reboot. I don't care that they're most closely tied to Nate. Bring them back.)

This episode has so many absolutely excellent moments as well. I love the opening sequence in the bar, with them going over possible next clients together, Nate kicking Eliot for flirting with the bartender, and then of course also Sterling walking in. The interaction Nate and Eliot have here is just fantastic.

Sterling: *walks in* Nate: Eliot, I'm gonna ask you not do do anything violent. Eliot: Wha-what are you talking about? I only use violence as an appropriate response. Sterling: Hello, Nate. Eliot: *responds appropriately*

And to think that Sterling only gets beat up here because Mark Sheppard's son was visiting the set that day and wanted to see his dad get beat up by Eliot. We stan one Sheppard Jr.

I very much love the scene where Nate and Sterling go over what they have on Lundy, and then Parker interrupting them out of nowhere, just sitting there on the counter, like she's been there forever (which she probably has). Also just, fantastic clothes on Parker, thank you Nadine. Maggie showing up here is of course also brilliant and I am very fond of Parker making Maggie a fugitive bag. It is so completely adorable. I love my girl so much.

Another favourite moment is, of course, Tara and Eliot getting Chernov to tell them where the sale of the Fabergé egg will take place. Tara not saying a damn thing, Eliot grumpily doing what Tara tells him to ("Do that thing with your eyes that scares people" / "What -- I don't know what you're talking about"), Chernov's complete unease about this whole entire situation, and then of course Tara and Eliot's other interaction:

Tara: What we imagine is always so much better than reality. Eliot, with the tiniest voice possible: Like love? Tara: *just stares at him, confused*

Just, *chef's kiss* this scene.

The scenes in the embassy are also just excellent. Tara and Nate pretending to be a couple, Nate's inability to deal with the idea of Maggie and Alexander, Maggie and Tara hysterically giggling while talking about Nate, Sterling pretending to be drunk (and incredibly gay) to get Parker access to the egg room -- brilliance, all the way through.

I adore Eliot taking charge of the situation once it becomes clear that Maggie and Nate have been taken hostage. Parker doing her magic and switching the bomb with the empty briefcase in the elevators is beautiful. Maggie kissing Nate instead of Lundy in what could have been their final moment and regretting it instantly the moment Parker shows up is excellent.

And the final scene back at McRory's is also just wonderful. The kids watching the news about Sterling with Tara ("I hate this guy" / "Now, you're part of the team"), and Nate talking with Maggie. I adore Maggie in this scene so much. Her and Nate's relationship is so lovely. We know Sophie understands how Nate ticks, but Maggie knows him so well too, still.

213: THE FUTURE JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: CHRIS DOWNEY & AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 03 February 2010.

This episode is so good for so many reasons. First off, I adore Luke Perry (I'm still sad about him) even if he plays creeps like Rand in most everything I've seen him in. He was just so good. Second, Medium Tara is probably my favourite role of hers. It's a lot softer than many of the other characters she's done, and I love it. Also the costuming is just excellent.

But I want to talk about Parker most of all. The scene where Rand cold reads her is so well done. Riesgraf knocked it out of the park here. Also, I love how Nate, as soon as Rand starts approaching and doing his act, barely ever takes his eyes off her. He occasionally glances at Rand, but his attention is on Parker at all times. And it just makes me feel things.

The team coming back to Nate's to find Parker sitting on the floor in front of the couch, crying also makes me super emo. They are all so very careful with her here. Even Tara, who hasn't been with them for that long. I quite like how Eliot and Hardison choose to sit a bit away, giving her space, and Nate carefully approaches and sits closest to her. They are all so good with her here, I love them all so much. And I absolutely adore this part of the conversation:

Tara: So what do we do now? Parker: Cut off his arms. And his head. Yeah. I wanna kill him. Can we make that happen? Eliot: Yeah, I can...I mean, I could...

Also earlier, after Tara acknowledges that Rand is good at what he does, Hardison says "He should be shot." I adore how both our boys would not hesitate to end this man for hurting Parker like this. That's their girl and he went too damn far. And even though Nate suggests a way of retaliation that is less final, he isn't above hurting the man either. Because that's his girl, too:

Hardison: Nate had me rig the table with a mild electrical current. Eliot: You electrocuted him? Nate, smugly: Yes, I did. It helped sell the bit. Parker: I approve. Nate: Thanks, Parker. Eliot: No, her agreeing with you is not a good thing. Nate, whispering to Parker: Thanks.

And add to that the absolute joy each and every one of them have when fucking with Rand to fulfil Tara's predictions? *Chef's kiss.* Absolutely beautiful.

There is so much more absolutely fantastic content in this episode, but I just wanna point out the ending where they meet with the client again. Nate is so good with them here. The way he talks to Jodie about her baby and how she will see her late husband in the child, makes me cry every damn time. Just like Tara says, "Yeah, now I see why you do it," this is why this show is so damn good. It's because of this exactly. Because for one shining moment within so much suck and tragedy, there is goodness and a wrong that has been made right. They help people and it isn't just fleeting momentary relief. They change people's lives for the better. I love this fucking show so much.

214: THE THREE STRIKES JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 10 February 2010.

First half of the second finale! Patrick Bonanno my beloved! I get so sad every time he gets shot here. My man deserves better than this. I love Bonanno so damn much, man. I absolutely adore that Nate goes to see his family at the hospital. Like, this is a cop. The very opposite side of the law Nate and his people operate on. But he goes to see him anyway, because this is their cop. And I love that Bonanno's wife recognises Nate's name. "He wanted to buy you a drink. And then arrest you." That's just so good.

I also absolutely love Richard Kind as Brad Culpepper, the corrupt mayor. I would love to see him back in the reboot, but I doubt there'd be any reasonable explanation why on earth they'd have to see this particular mayor again. I just think Richard Kind is an absolutely fantastic actor.

Anyway, favourite moments. Hardison and Eliot at Bonanno's house is beautiful. I am so fond of how Hardison deals with law enforcement while impersonating law enforcement. He tears them down and builds them back up again, every single time. And I adore how Eliot just smiles at his antics. He crawls around on that carpet with the young cop and Eliot just stands there and smiles. I love them, guys. I really do. Parker pretending to be Brad's pregnant lover with Tara's help is also just most excellent.

And of course: Roy Chappell. Baseball Eliot, my most beloved. There is so much to love about this whole concept. Eliot's reluctance at first because he doesn't like baseball. The discovery that baseball is actually something cool and something he is good at. His absolute childlike joy at the energy drink commercial Hardison made him. His damn hair during the actual game. The sandwich! The enthusiasm about the sandwich. Hardison admitting that the sandwich thing is cool.

I also absolutely love Hardison and Parker as Beavers Fans. The badly photoshopped picture of Dean Devlin and John Rogers as the radio hosts makes me smile so much. So does hearing their voices on the show. Both Hardison and Parker's phone calls to them are also brilliant. Parker speaking Spanish? Marvelous. The two of them demonstrating the Beavers leaving? *Chef's kiss.*

The final showdown with Brad and then the FBI is also just most excellent. Nate going ballistic on Brad because of Bonanno. Hardison and Lucille. Parker giving Lucille a little kiss before they send her to explode as a distraction. Hardison quoting Spock to say goodbye to Lucille. Hardison being pissed at Nate about Lucille. And of course: Jim Sterling, Interpol. The bastard. I love him.

215: THE MALTESE FALCON JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 17 February 2010.

Second half of second finale! And it's a good one, too. This show has absolutely brilliant finales, lemme tell you.

What do we love about this episode? MUCH. Tara's naked bit is excellent. Eliot and Parker sharing a look after watching Tara's naked bit is even better. Parker turning on the porn channels on the hotel tv is hilarious. Eliot talking to the receptionist about the gym is hysterical ("Ah, the fitness spa. Isn't the Zen Steam Garden divine?" / "Yeah....delicious").

Nate on stairs vs Sterling in elevator is probably the pettiest thing I have ever watched on television and it is absolutely amazing. I don't think anything can ever top this as pettiest moment. It is just so good.

Sterling, of course, is always great fun. I love that he has his own little villain theme that announces him before he even enters the screen. Love a good villain theme. And I adore his moment with FBI Bob outside Brad's hotel room.

Sterling: Name's Bob, right? Bob: Yes, sir. Sterling: You've been here the whole time, Bob? Bob: Yes, sir. Sterling: And nobody's gone in or out, Bob? Bob: No, sir. Sterling: Then would you mind explaining, where the HELL THE MAYOR IS?!

Absolutely perfect.

Nate going back to his place always has me all up in my emotions. Also, I think Sterling here absolutely believes that what he is offering Nate, is good for him. That he can save him from himself or something. They were something like friends at some point, after all. And of course, Nate calling Sophie. She is, of course, unbeknownst to him, already on the way to save his ass. But he calls her and finally tells her exactly what she wanted to hear at the end of The Ice Man Job: "I need you. Not the team, me." Sir. I am emo about you.

And then of course the final con and the reveal of Sophie's return. I absolutely love that Parker's first reaction to Tara possibly betraying them was to try and throw her off the roof. That's my girl (I love Tara, but that was fair). Also just, if you pay attention on the boat scenes, you can see Sophie from as early as Kadjic hearing Nate's offer and then leading Nate and Eliot below deck. If you can pick out her hair and know the colour of her coat from the scene in the helicopter, you know that she is there. And then, below deck, you can see her so many times -- at one point essentially back to back with Nate -- before any of the characters know she's there. And can I just say, I absolutely love Nate's completely shocked face when he hears her voice. Those comedically big eyes are just excellent.

Everyone seeing Sophie again is done so well. Hardison and Eliot's confused "Sophie?" when she walks past. Eliot winking at Sophie after they free Nate. Parker hugging her immediately once her and Tara arrive on the ship. Hardison putting his hand on the small of her back as he passes by her to go down the stairs. I just love them all so much.

And lastly of course, the reveal of the plan, Nate cuffing himself to the railing and making Sterling leave his family alone. What Nate says to them always makes me so emo too: "You guys are the most honourable people I have ever met in my life. You have become my family, my only family. And I will never forget that." John Rogers, sir, we need to have some words once I get this lake out of my eyes. And I obviously can't not mention the kiss. Finally, finally Nate gets his shit together. And she slaps him and it is perfect. And then they leave and he sits down and bleeds and Sterling, for a moment, is genuinely concerned about Nate as a person and not merely about Nate as his only way to nail Kadjic.

Bob: Who the hell is this guy? Sterling: I have no idea. Nate: My name is Nate Ford. And I'm a thief.

Yes. Yes you are, you magnificent bastard.

[image taken from the electricnow website]

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Happiness Is

This is possibly my favorite episode of season two. Yet, it is also the point the where the series starts to fall off a cliff. Only that’s not something that you would realize upon a first watch; just in hindsight and only with some basic knowledge of the behind the scenes drama that led to this and the fall out with the fandom that followed afterwards. 

Summary:  Rapunzel begins to feel homesick for Corona when she finds an old letter written by her father in one of the many lanterns sent from her previous birthdays. In attempts to uplift her spirits, Rapunzel explores the island and comes across a magical idol that brings instant happiness to whomever possesses it. Rapunzel begins to hallucinate her family and friends back in Corona and soon shares the idol with the rest of the group. However, everyone starts to become obsessive over the idol, desperately wanting it for themselves. Rapunzel tricks everyone into giving her the idol, but when the Lorbs try to help Rapunzel, they fall under the idol's control and soon begin to terrorize the village.

Let’s Start with the First Elephant in the Room; Frederic 

So throughout the episode Rapunzel is struggling with being homesick. Which is fair enough, that’s an understable reaction to being on the road for months by now. However, to showcase this Rapunzel keeps seeing hallucinations of her father. There are some other characters too, but her dad is the first person she sees and the only one in Corona with speaking lines. He’s the one to tempt her with the idol. 

Did we just forget that Frederic is her abuser? 

Look, even if you accept his apology in Secret of the Sundrop and believe he has learned his lesson, that doesn’t just erase the pain he caused her. Her thoughts about her father should be more realistically complex then this. Now add in how she makes a such a clean break from her other abuser, Gothel, but still holds him on a pedestal shows a disturbing bias on the part of the writers. 

Also where’s this love for Arianna? You know the only real mother on the show? The show that’s aimed at little girls? The one parent who hasn’t flat out abused the main character yet? 

Seriously, Chris, what the fuck? 

This is a Missed Opportunity 

So part of the reason why I like this episode is that we get insights into each of the characters and their desires. As such this is one of the few episodes where the group actual feels like a group friends. However, Cass’s vision is wasted here. 

So at first glance this seems to aline with what we know of the character thus far. She loves her dad and wishes to impress him. That’s only if you take season one into account, though. Later episodes will contradict this goal. If you wanted to set up praise and validation in general as Cassandra’s motives, then here is where that should have happened. 

Show her getting a medal, have cheering crowds surround her, have her be a hero, or something. You can’t claim her relationship with her parents as the driving force of behind her later actions if you don’t actually involve one of those parents as part of the resolution to her arc. 

Either she lacking attention from her dad or she’s jealous of Rapunzel. You can’t have it be both because those two things don’t intersect. Rapunzel is not and never was a threat to her relationship with her father. 

So Umm...I Don’t Think This Plot Point Has the Impact That the Writers Think It Does 

So this hilarious, and it is intended to be funny, but it’s not for the reasons that the show gives. 

The idea is that this is some shocking revelation. That Rapunzel would never do this under normal circumstances and it’s a hint that the idol is corrupting her. 

Only the rest of the series doesn’t aline with that at all. This is just the real Rapunzel behaving as the she normally would but without the usual veneer of excuses. 

It’s funny because it’s the show calling out Rapunzel hypocrisy for what it is plainly, not because it’s out of character. 

But funny only gets you so far. The show is perfectly happy to play up Rapunzel’s awfulness for laughs, but then conventily ignore it when it comes time for the characters themselves to call her out on it so that she can grow and learn.       

The show runs under the sitcom idea that comedy excuses all sins; which then backfires horribly when it tries to be serious and mature. 

You can’t joke that the king threw a random person in a stockade for little reason and then expect us to still like him when he persecutes a child. Same applies here. 

The sitcom set up only works when there is minimal at stake and all parties involved are equally awful in their own ways. 

Then Why Not Just Go Home?

Once again, there’s nothing at stake in season two. Rapunzel has no real reason to be on this trip. Nothing is stopping her from just going home if that’s what she wants. The idol only makes her happy because it shows her want she wants, but she could actually have what she wants as soon as the next ship arrives. So what’s the issue here? 

This is why you need external conflict in order to make internal conflicts work. There’s has to be something preventing the main character from achieving her goal or otherwise she just comes across as a dumbass. 

And Now Here Comes the Second Elephant; Varian 

I have several things to talk about here, and none of them actually concern the scene itself but the creator’s treatment of the character and the show’s fan base.

For you see, Chris did a very, very stupid thing.  

He wrote the character driving the plot out of the show. The character who also happens to be the most popular person in the series. Only to then use said character’s VA and this one cameo as promotion for this whole season. 

Needless to say, fans were disappointed.   

However, the Tangled fandom is exceedingly polite; more so than most. The lack of Varian was met mostly with confusion, and maybe a few off handed jokes, rather than anger. When opportunity arose people naturally had questions concerning the character.     

And that’s when Chris put his foot in mouth. 

This Tumblr post details how Chris got kicked off the Tangled The Series Discord by bullying a bunch of Varian fans while on there. 

https://starxapple.tumblr.com/post/617852117763391488/zhantiri-uuugh-fine-since-people-are-getting

I shan’t get into it fully, but for those who discovered the show after season two had aired, this caused a massive backlash from the fandom. 

A good chunk of the fandom just walked away, and rightly so. The few that stuck around despite these remarks found themselves harassed by certain sections of the fandom who saw Chris’s bullying as permission to pursue the same behavior. However, most importantly, the ratings plummeted. 

Season one hovered around the the 1 million mark, give or take a five point difference. The first part of season two dropped to half of that, and after this episode and the hiatus it sunk even lower, down to the mid-thirties. That’s over 20,000 people who just jumped ship over this. That’s not a normal decline. 

No matter what your personal feelings are of the character of Varian or how he was handled in the show, that’s still a massive PR fassico that cost the series big time. 

To add to this mountain of bullshit, there was also a massive walk out of crew members after season one had finished production. Most of them women. They even desperately threw out ‘we’re hiring’ calls to cover this. Which given that’s it’s Disney and that nepotism is usually how one gains employment in the entertainment industry, something unusual must have happened behind the scenes. Especially if most of the people who left were women. 

We’ll probably never know what really happened. People don't usually talk about behind the scenes stuff like that due to contracts and the aforementioned nepotism. However, all clues point to Varian.   

Something changed at the last minute concerning his story. Chris himself had confirmed as much when discussing the note and the Brotherhood. We also gotten other hints that content was edited out at the last minute. Plus the writing becomes more shoddy as the series goes along, showing how slapped dashed everything is together.  

Then there’s the rumors. 

I must stress to you that this is only a rumor. As pointed out earlier, most animators aren’t in a position to talk freely about what goes on behind the scenes. Do NOT harass them over it or make things awkward by asking them to clarify this. However it’s been suggested that the female crew warned Chris that removing Varian from season two and re-writing his story, along with making Cass the villain, would be a bad idea before they left and Chris didn’t listen. Much to his folly. 

Chris is no longer a Disney employee and has yet to move on to any other projects. He says he left, but I more suspect that Disney just didn't renew his contract and no one has picked him up since. I take no joy in the idea that someone may have lost their job, but if true, then Chris has little to blame but himself. 

So What Did Change?

We don't know anything for sure. We know from discussions about the note that there was a proposed Brotherhood plot that involved Varian that was then cut. There was also talks about a Cass and Varian team up in season three. 

This was then changed to the Saporian take over, which is foreshadowed in this scene. However even that got edited down and under the flimsiest of excuses. 

One of the writers, Ricky, suggested that they thought cutting back to Corona would be too confusing for the audience; which is a load of bull. I mean how poorly do you think of your audience’s comprehension skills that they wouldn’t understand a change of scene or a flashback? Yet you fully expect them to pick up on your lazy foreshadowing involving the mirror? So much so that you sent them on a quest to find it between seasons two and three.

Then there’s this gem from Chris. 

Ok ignoring the fact that you so totally could have featured both Gothel and Varian, seeing as they serve two different functions in the story and mean different things to Rapunzel.... What guilt?!!! 

Rapunzel doesn’t ever act guilty over anything involving her treatment of Varian. 

That’s when you realize Chris isn’t talking about her feeling guilty about Varian’s predicament. He’s saying that Rapunzel feels guilty of leaving her father behind with this ‘dangerous’ criminal. Which is a big fuck you to everyone. 

That’s why Frederic is the center focus of Rapunzel’s hallucinations. Why she’s more concerned for his safety over Varian’s trauma. Chris really be out here trying to use the abused 14/15 year old orphan as a scapegoat for the grown ass dictator who ruined countless lives. Because he thinks a grown woman should feel guilty for leaving her abusive father behind and pursuing her life’s dream.

Dude, I try not to assume the worst of people just cause they write fictional characters that I dislike, but Chris really makes things hard not to when he treats his self insert this way. 

Oh but we’re not done yet. 

When Varian Fans Complain About the Lack of Varian; We’re Complaining About the Lack of a Coherent Plot. 

Certain sections of the fandom, bolstered by Chris’s BS, try to act like simply being a Varian fan is grounds for dismissal of any criticism of the show and it’s writing. As if having personal preference for something makes you automatically ‘entitled’ or some such bull. Yet doing so ignores the fundamental complaint that they are making. 

We’re not whining about our favorite character not getting enough screen time. No one would have complained about his lack of presence in season two if they had properly resolved his story in season three and had Chris not been a dick to the fans. But it becomes evidently clear as the series goes along that removing Varian left a major hole in the plot. One that makes the entire story and the rest of characters suffer as well. 

Think season two is boring? That’s cause they cut out their main villain at the last minute and failed to replace him with anything. 

Upset that Hookfoot was brought along for zero reason?  He’s the replacement character for Varian who no doubt was going to appear in season two originally. 

Wish there was more on the Brotherhood and the Dark Kingdom?  Their story impact was greatly reduced when Varian was written out.

Are you a Eugene fan and mad about how the Dark Prince plot went nowhere?  That’s cause the original Brotherhood/Dark Kingdom plot was dropped when Varian was.

Dislike how Cassandra’s character was ruined with her villain arc?  She was originally meant to be possessed but was changed last minute to be a Varian rip-off in the hopes that she would gain some of his popularity.   

Wish Zhan Tiri, Demantius, and the Disciples actually went somewhere and that ZT had coherent plan?   That plot were changed last minute to make Zhan Tiri a scapegoat for Cassandra now that her story was changed to replace Varian.

And of course let’s not ignore the character who suffers the most from lack of Varian.... Rapunzel. 

Chris’s defense for leaving Varian out of S2 is that it’s “Rapunzel’s Story” and that Varian was only ever a plot device meant to push her along on her quest.  Which means that Rapunzel no longer has anyone pushing her along on her quest!!!

All characters are plot devices. If they aren’t there to serve a story function then they need to be cut. Even Rapunzel herself serves a plot function. She’s meant to be the protagonist of a coming of age story. Which means she needs both an external conflict to face and an emotional arc where she grows as a person. Varian is the plot device that serves both of those functions but he’s now been removed and is no longer allowed to serve his original purpose. 

Chris reached into the machine while it was running and pulled out one of the main gears and acted like he always meant to do that. He legit sat there and pretended that everything was running smoothly even as smoke poured out and warring alarms blared. He then tried to shove bubble gum in its place hoping no one would notice as everything fell apart around him. 

Cause he’s the thing; no idea is without merit. It’s all about presentation. Removing Varian from season three still could have worked, but it required A.) replacing him with another foe and B.) making sure his arc still got a proper conclusion. 

I’ll talk more about Varian’s half-arsed redemption when we get to it; but for now let's focus on the more immediate problem. No one thought to give season two an actual overarching conflict in light of Varian’s absence. 

That’s a fundamental oversight that pretty much signals that season two was re-written at the last minute. You have an overarching plot in an action adventure show but no main adversary? I refuse to believe that everyone involved was too stupid to do that on purpose; but if they were rushed and lacked a crew because they walked out due to last minute story changes....yeah that’d I buy. 

Because there’s more than enough options to go around; Lady Caine, The Baron and Styalan, Hector and/or Adria, Zhan Tiri’s Disciples ect. were all options. So was keeping the rocks a threat, or have Cass start her villian arc earlier; with proper motivation this time. They could have even come up with someone entirely new. 

You had over four years to plan this shit out; why is it not more well put together?! 

How Come Rapunzel Can Easily Admit Fault to Pascal But Not Anyone Else? 

Pascal should have sat perched on Varian’s and Eugene’s shoulders giving Rapunzel ‘I’m done with this’ looks all throughout season three. It’s apparently the only thing that she responds to. 

Why is the untalkative camelanion the only one allowed to call out the main character’s BS without going villain? 

Conclusion

That’s all there really is to talk about in this story. The actual episode itself is good. It’s the behind the scenes crap that bubbles underneath its surface that needed to be discussed. That way when going forward with the marathon you’ll better see what I’m talking about when I explain how future episode suffered from the lack of planning and foresight. 

[lokiondisneyplus]

For his entire tenure as an Avenger, Anthony Mackie had never been the first name on the call sheet.

In a galaxy of stars populated by Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson, the actor was aware of his place in the on-set pecking order, but would never miss an opportunity to make his presence felt.

“Number six on the call sheet has arrived!” Mackie would routinely shout on films like “Captain America: Civil War” and the box office-busting “Infinity Saga” sequels, according to Marvel chief creative officer Kevin Feige.

It exemplifies the sort of winning tone that the 42-year-old actor has brought to his superhero character the Falcon, aka Sam Wilson, for six movies from the top-earning studio — wry and collegial humor, with the potential to turn explosive at any moment. Both Mackie and his character are set to burn brighter than ever when the Disney Plus series “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier” lands on March 18.

On that call sheet, “Anthony is No. 1,” Feige is happy to report, “but it still says ‘No. 6.’ He kept it because he didn’t want it to go to his head.” The series is essentially a two-hander with his friend and longtime co-star Sebastian Stan, the titular soldier. All six episodes were produced and directed by Emmy winner Kari Skogland (“The Handmaid’s Tale,” “The Loudest Voice”). The series, for which combined Super Bowl TV spot and trailer viewership earned a record-breaking 125 million views this year, is reported to have cost $150 million in total.

For Mackie, though, the show comes at a critical time for both his career and for representation in the MCU. Sam Wilson is graduating from handy wingman (Falcon literally gets his job done with the use of mechanical wings), having been handed the Captain America shield by Evans in the last “Avengers” film. While it’s unclear if he will formally don the superhero’s star-spangled uniform moving forward (as the character did in a 2015 comic series), global fandoms and the overall industry are still reeling from the loss of Chadwick Boseman, who portrayed Marvel’s Black Panther to culture-defining effect. With this new story, Mackie will become the most visible African American hero in the franchise. And when asked whether he’ll be taking the mantle of one of its most iconic characters, he doesn’t exactly say no.

“I was really surprised and affected by the idea of possibly getting the shield and becoming Captain America. I’ve been in this business a long time, and I did it the way they said you’re supposed to do it. I didn’t go to L.A. and say, ‘Make me famous.’ I went to theater school, did Off Broadway, did indie movies and worked my way through the ranks. It took a long time for this shit to manifest itself the way it has, and I’m extremely happy about that,” Mackie says.

Feige says that, especially with the advent of Disney Plus and the freedom afforded long-form storytelling, the moment was right to give the Falcon his due.

“Suddenly, what had been a classic passing of the torch from one hero to another at the end of ‘Endgame’ became an opening up of our potential to tell an entire story about that. What does it really mean for somebody to step into those shoes, and not just somebody but a Black man in the present day?” says Feige.

Like many comic book heroes, Mackie has an origin story marked by tragedy at a young age — specifically around the loss of a parental figure. The New Orleans native is the youngest of six children from a tight-knit middle-class family, whose trajectory was spun into chaos when his mother was stricken with a terminal illness.

“It was unexpected and very untimely. I was 15 when she was diagnosed with cancer, and a few months later, she was gone. She passed the day before my ninth-grade graduation,” Mackie recalls. “If my mom wouldn’t have passed away when I was so young, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

Mackie had already gravitated toward the performing arts before the loss of his mother, having enrolled at the pre-professional school New Orleans Center for Creative Arts. Like many young people grappling with trauma, Mackie says he began to act out. A core group of teachers helped get him out of trouble. Ray Vrazel, still an instructor at the school, personally drove the student to a Houston-based audition for the University of North Carolina School of the Arts, where he was accepted for his senior year of high school.

“Everything I did, I did for my mama. The idea of leaving home at 17 to go away to school would have never been an option if she was still around. She was my best friend. Losing her gave me a kind of strength, and a desire to succeed,” Mackie says.

Succeed he did. Spending that formative year as a minor on a college campus helped Mackie find his “tribe,” a misfit crew of artists and performers, which propelled him to acceptance at New York’s prestigious Juilliard School in 1997. There he was part of the breakthrough class of students of color to be chosen for the notoriously selective drama program, which Mackie says was liberating given the institution’s track record.

“Our year was a huge transition. There were hardly any Asian people in the drama program, maybe one or two Black people and hardly any Black women. In our class, we had three black women, two black men, one Native American, one Asian female, out of 20 people. Ever since then, the classes have been wildly diverse,” says Mackie, whose fellow students included stage and film star Tracie Thoms and actor Lee Pace.

Following his training, Mackie launched a staggeringly versatile career. He has played Tupac Shakur and Martin Luther King Jr. to similar acclaim, a juicehead bodybuilder in “Pain & Gain” and a homeless gay teen in the Sundance player “Brother to Brother.” He has exhibited remarkable staying power in an industry that often pigeonholes actors and has a pockmarked soul when it comes to inclusion.

“I was drawn to Anthony because of his electrifying ability to combine intensity with sensitivity, courage with compassion, and all of it comes across as inevitable, as if it could be no other way,” says Kathryn Bigelow, who directed him in the 2009 best picture Oscar winner “The Hurt Locker.”

Samuel L. Jackson, whom Mackie calls a mentor and has played alongside in several films, says he has “an innate quality that first and foremost makes everyone want to cast him.” On a recent idle Netflix search, Jackson came across Mackie’s latest sci-fi film, “Outside the Wire,” and it triggered a memory of sitting in the audience for his performance in the 2010 Broadway production of Martin McDonagh’s play “A Behanding in Spokane.”

“Watching him onstage, I thought, he’s a very adroit actor capable of putting on many hats. He’s fearless and will try to be anybody. Then, on my TV, he’s playing a nanobyte soldier or some shit,” Jackson says.

Though always humble about getting the next job, pre-Marvel Mackie was rarely offered pole position.

“There were certain pegs. My first was ‘8 Mile.’ It was a monumental step at the beginning of my career,” Mackie says of the 2002 Curtis Hanson film that elevated rapper Eminem to multi-hyphenate stardom.

“After that it was ‘Half Nelson.’ It blew up Ryan Gosling, so I was there to ride the wave. Then ‘The Hurt Locker,’ and it blew up Jeremy Renner. It was the joke for a long time — if you’re a white dude and you want to get nominated for an Oscar, play opposite me. I bring the business for white dudes,” says Mackie.

He remembers the sensation “Hurt Locker” caused during its awards season. It was a moment he thought would change everything as he stood on the stage of the Dolby Theatre with the cast and filmmakers, having just sipped from George Clooney’s flask while Halle Berry radiated a few rows away.

“I thought I would be able to move forward in my career and not have to jostle and position myself for work. To get into rooms with certain people. I thought my work would speak for itself. I didn’t feel a huge shift,” he says, “but I 100% think that ‘The Hurt Locker’ is the reason I got ‘Captain America.’”

He’s referring to “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” the 2014 Marvel film that was the first to be directed by Joe and Anthony Russo (the current title holders for the highest-grossing film of all time with “Avenges: Endgame”). Mackie says that blockbuster not only gave him his largest platform to date but changed expectations of superhero movies forever.

“It was the first of the espionage, Jason Bourne-esque action movies at Marvel. After that, the movies shifted and had different themes and were more in touch with the world we live in, more grounded,” he says.

Bolstered by the words of another mentor, Morgan Freeman, Mackie feels no bitterness about his path.

“We did ‘Million Dollar Baby’ together, and when we were shooting this movie, I got offered a play. When you do Off Broadway, it’s $425 a week. In New York, that’s really $75 per week. I got a movie offer at the same time, and it was buckets of money. Three Home Depot buckets of money were going to be dropped off at my door,” Mackie says. “The script was awful; the whole thing was slimy. I went to Morgan’s trailer and asked him what he would do. He took a second and said, ‘Do the play. When Hollywood wants you, they’ll come get you. And when they come get you, they’ll pay for it.’ That blew my mind, and I left him that day with such a massive amount of confidence. He’s been a huge influence on me.”

He used the currency of that first Russo Brothers film and five subsequent ones to do what many creators and performers in Hollywood have done in recent years to help balance the scales of profit and representation in content: make things on his own.

Last year, Mackie produced and starred in “The Banker” — what would be Apple Studios’ first foray into original streaming film distribution and the awards landscape — through his banner Make It With Gravy. The film follows the true story of America’s first Black bankers and the white frontman they deployed to acquire the institution, all while supporting Black-owned businesses and communities in the process. A late-breaking scandal over sexual misconduct accusations involving the real-life family members of the film’s subjects delayed the release, overshooting awards-season deadlines and entangling the fledgling producer.

“It was a good lesson, and gave me a new perspective on the world around us. It’s very important to me that the women by my side are treated equally. It was a valuable lesson learned. I was very humbled by my sisters, for once not being mean to me,” he says.

Mackie is in development on the film “Signal Hill,” about the early days of lawyer Johnnie Cochran and the theater he brought to courtrooms long before the O.J. Simpson trial, and is hoping to secure the life story of civil rights pioneer Claudette Colvin as a vehicle for his directorial debut. Raising four sons of his own now, Mackie wants his off-screen work to make them well-rounded men.

“Look at Robin Williams,” he says. “He used to be crass and funny, and then he had kids, and he started doing all these family-friendly movies. Same thing with Eddie Murphy. I’m trying to curate my children’s experience with the things that I’ll be producing, rather than starring in. That’s what is most important. They know my job is my job; they know who I am. I’ve given up the idea of them ever thinking that I’m cool,” he says.

Jokes about the call sheet are among many of Mackie’s filming quirks. Jackson says that sets are often littered with hidden cigar stubs, to be fired up between takes or after long days. Bigelow says his rapport with crew has led to nights where the “clock was ticking but it was impossible to regain composure enough to shoot.” But according to Evans, no Mackie-ism is more famous than the phrase he bellows whenever his directors cut a scene: “Cut the check!”

Evans says this “will be forever associated with Mackie. I find myself saying it on sets all the time. I love it. But I’ll never be able to say it as well as him.”

As the man handing Mackie his armor, Evan says the Falcon’s “role within the Marvel universe has answered the call to action time and time again. He’s proven his courage, loyalty and reliability over multiple films. Sam has given so much, and he’s also lost a lot too. He believes in something bigger than himself, and that type of humility is necessary to carry the shield.”

The question of Sam Wilson’s humanity will be explored at length in “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier,” what Mackie calls a deeper showcase for both himself and Stan and their characters. It was a prospect that at first confused and frightened him.

“I didn’t think we could do on the television what we’d been doing on the big screen. I didn’t want to be the face of the first Marvel franchise to fail. Like, ‘See? We cast the Black dude, and now this shit is awful.’ That was a huge fear of mine, and also a huge responsibility with playing a Marvel character,” Mackie says.

He was quickly assuaged by the level of depth in the scripts from head writer Malcolm Spellman (“Empire,” “Truth Be Told”), especially when it came to the nuances of Wilson — a Black American man with no powers beyond his badass wings.

“Sam Wilson as played by Mackie is different than a Thor or a Black Panther, because he’s not from another planet or a king from another country,” Feige says. “He’s an African American man. He’s got experience in the military and doing grief counseling with soldiers who have PTSD. But where did he grow up? Who is his family? Mackie was excited to dig into it as this man, this Black man in particular, in the Marvel version of the world outside our window.”

Mackie celebrates Sam’s relatability in a universe full of mythological gods and lab-made enforcers. “I’m basically the eyes and ears of the audience, if you were put in that position where you could go out and fight alongside superheroes. It adds a really nice quality to him, that he’s a regular guy who can go out there and do special things,” Mackie says.

While bound by standard Marvel-grade secrecy, the actor confirms there have been no discussions of a second season for “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.” As the majority of domestic movie theaters remain closed due to the coronavirus pandemic, he is equally unaware of the theatrical prospects for his Falcon character — or the Captain he may become by the end of this Disney Plus run. For now, he’s content to take up the mantle left by Boseman, a quietly understood pact of responsibility to Marvel-loving kids the world over.

“For Chad and I, [representation] was never a conversation that needed to be had because of our backgrounds. There was a hinted-at understanding between the two of us, because we’re both from humble beginnings in the South; we have very similar backgrounds. We knew what the game was. We knew going into it,” he says.

Outside comic book movies, Mackie is not done searching as a performer. There is a particular genre he would very much like to cut him a check.

“My team gets mad at me for saying this, but I would love to do a cheesy old-school ‘When Harry Met Sally’-type of project,” he says. “One of those movies where I’m working outside and have to take my shirt off because it’s too hot. I want a romantic comedy. I want to do every movie written for Matthew McConaughey that he passed on.”

[daleisgreat]

The Avengers: Endgame

Over the last couple months I finally upgraded to somewhat modern TV and gaming rigs in the form of a 55” Samsung 4KTV and Xbox Series X. I own three 4K UHD discs, but one I already covered a couple years back with my entry of the BluRay version that came bundled with the 4K disc of Die Hard. The other is a two pack of the first two John Wick films, and rest assured those will get their day in the sun here eventually. From my research, the Xbox Series X is not a top shelf 4K BluRay player, at least not at the system’s launch before presumable system software updates, but also sounds like a fairly better quality version of the drive that came in the Xbox One X|S, and also supports upscaling of regular BluRays to 4K. Coincidentally, on top of my movie backlog pile was a movie I absolutely wanted to take advantage of that 4K upscaling and thus here we are with today’s write-up for 2019’s The Avengers: Endgame (trailer). WARNING: Unlike nearly most of my other movie recaps I will be diving into serious spoiler territory ahead. The amount of hype leading up to Endgame was insurmountable. Anthony and Joseph Russo did an astounding job directing the first part in 2018’s Infinity War (read my entry for it here). Both that and Endgame top the three hour mark to squeeze in as many characters, references, periphery side plots and so much more from the previous 21 Marvel Cinematic Universe films that lead up to this finale. By accomplishing just that, both movies are the breeziest three hour viewings I have experienced because the Russo brothers do a commendable job at keeping the scenes flowing and doing their best to give everyone their proper time to shine. The ending of Infinity War saw Thanos (Josh Brolin) deliver the snap heard around the world that vanished half of all life in the entire universe. It was a soul-crushing downer of a cliffhanger to end on, but the post-credits tag hinting at the cry of help for Captain Marvel (Brie Larson) left crowds with a glimmer of hope. This being based around comic books there is the unwritten rule where no one truly stays dead either, so part of the experience going into Endgame was to see how the remaining Avengers plan to bring everybody back. Endgame kicks off with the fresh effects of ‘the snap’ when it starts with Hawkeye’s family all getting dusted from him in the middle of a picnic.

The film transitions to the remaining un-dusted Avengers squad of Nebula (Karen Gillan) and Iron Man (Robert Downer Jr.) floating aimlessly in space until the convenient deus ex machina that is Captain Marvel miraculously tracks them down and hauls them back to Earth. A few weeks Avengers HQ tracks down Thanos on an isolated planet and with Captain Marvel’s power, they anticlimactically kill him off in a brief scene. This was one of the parts of the film that did not sit well with me after building up Thanos as this unrivaled threat in all the previous films, and to have the Avengers cold-bloodedly put him down in quick order seems so……unlike them, but he did off half the universe so I understand how the Russo’s felt justified for filming it that way, but I cannot help that it did not come across right, and could have been handled better. Of course, a more proper Thanos battle would be coming later in the final act thanks to my pet peeve plot device that is…. …TIME TRAVEL!!!! This and alternate dimension traveling I despise and have turned me off to many shows over the years like Lost and CW’s DC shows. The worst of it is indeed present here because meaningful character deaths that happened in Infinity War to Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and Gamura (Karen Gillan) become undone and their sacrifices proved for naught. All that griping aside however, I will give the Russo brothers credit because even with those qualms I feel they pull off time travel and have it appear as more than a convenient storytelling method. Again, major props because that is a hell of a hurdle to overcome. The filmmakers go out of their way in a couple scenes to directly call out Back to the Future’s style of time travel bullshit, and have a couple characters ever-so-carefully explain in detail and for the laymen how “real” time travel works.

This is all thanks to a rambunctious rat who inadvertently zaps Ant Man (Paul Rudd) out of the Quantum Realm…after being trapped there five years due to his team being on the end of a dusting before bringing him back. Ant Man deduces upon his return that he is able to undo the dusting through his van-quantum-realm-contraption, and convinces the Avengers to conjure up a plan they cleverly dub the “Time Heist” to travel back to capture all the Infinity Gems Stones before Thanos does. I loved how these scenes played out, and there is a plethora of fan service throughout it as the three squads of Avengers jump to different periods like the final battle of the original Avengers film, and a 1970 military base where Howard Stark (John Slattery) unknowingly meets his son. Plans do not proceed swimmingly to say the least, and past timeline Thanos becomes clued in to their plan and thwarts the Avengers attempt at trying to undo the past in a CG showpiece for the ages with his assault on Avengers HQ. The CG fireworks continue to dazzle for the bulk of the final hour of the film with a climatic showdown between Thanos and his forces against The Avengers and the returning of the dusted Marvel characters. I have seen too many comic book films fail at translating over-the-top comic book action on the silver screen, but the Russo brothers always manage to pull it off. I fondly remember the theater crowd going gaga when Captain America (Chris Evans) summons Mjolnir and wallops Thanos with it. The women of Marvel have another moment to shine together where they collectively team up to kick ass. Moments of levity are brilliantly peppered in throughout the chaos for a much-needed chuckle from the nonstop adrenaline-boosting action. That final battle masterfully builds up to the dramatic sacrifice of Iron Man in the standout emotional scene of the film.

The resulting aftermath was heartwarmingly done here with a pre-recorded farewell from Iron Man, and a collage of nearly all the major and minor MCU characters at Iron Man’s funeral. I believe this is the first MCU film without a post-credits tag, and that is 100% fine by me, because the beginning of the credits is a lovingly crafted tribute to the original Avengers cast done in the fashion of the Original Series cast of Star Trek VI that resonated with me feeling the end of a pivotal era of the MCU that I have been largely enjoying since the original 2008 Iron Man. I usually do not dive into this much detail and spoilers when recapping the movies here, but due to this being the final chapter of this era of the MCU films I could not help myself, and believe me there is so much more I wanted to dive in here on because like I said, the Russo brothers crammed in an incredible amount of narrative into three hours. There is so much ground in here it is impossible for me to recap it all, and that it will in all likelihood be the fastest three hour movie you will ever endure. I did not get a chance to even touch on over-the-hill Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and the hybrid Bruce Banner/Hulk (Mark Ruffalo (spoiler: they both killed it!)). Endgame unsurprisingly did major bank at the box office, so I feel safe knowing most of you reading this already watched it by now which is another reason I went all out on the spoilers.

I re-watched the film for this entry a second time with commentary from the Russo brothers, and writers Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely, and that greatly helped explain some little tidbits that were easy to miss and/or not fully comprehend in the midst of the three hours. I know this is a little detail, but I want to give props to Marvel for being one of the few companies out there for shelling out resources to caption the commentary track! I exponentially appreciate it more than you know! The commentary helped with understanding why they did not do a lot for Black Widow’s (Scarlett Johansson) aftermath of her death because she has her prequel film set to release. Other notable takeaways from the commentary was how Stark’s “I am Iron Man” line was a last minute addition to the film, giving credit to Star Trek VI as inspiration for their credits sequence, being hopeful for Marvel capitalizing on Falcon donning Cap’s shield and lots of understandable love for the visual effects team for their hard work. Aside from the commentary track, the BluRay has a second disc with just under an hour of bonus material. There is the requisite short, but top-of-the-line gag reel that is standard in most Marvel Studios home videos. There are five minutes of deleted scenes worth a look, with some of them lightheartedly covering up plot holes. Remembering Stan Lee is a touching tribute to Stan, filled with archived interviews from him on his experiences in the cameos, and showing plenty of delightful off-camera interactions with the cast and crew. There are well done character profile pieces for Thor, Black Widow, Captain America and Iron Man, with each one having countless cast and crew state proper kudos to what the actors have done for those characters over the years. If you only have time for one then I recommend Man Out of Time: Creating Captain America, because it goes into a little more detail than the others and Chris Evans has some intriguing introspection from his years with the character. Finally, there are short, but worthwhile pieces on the Russo brothers and the women of the MCU that should not be skipped out on either.

As I mentioned above, the hype building up to Endgame was insurmountable, but Joseph and Anthony Russo overcame the odds and delivered a gratifying conclusion to this era of the MCU. Watching the BluRay upscaled in 4K on a TV about a third bigger than my previous set made it a grander experience too for those showpiece moments. Sure I had quibbles and nitpicks I mentioned above, but by and large those are easily overcome by how much the Russo brothers got it right with this film. I am kicking myself for waiting a year and a half to re-watch it, but picked up on a lot of little things that went right over mine and Drax’s heads the first time out. If you have yet to give The Avengers: Endgame another viewing, then do not hesitate because you will not regret once again taking in this landmark epic that delivered against all odds! Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve The Clapper Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Last Action Hero Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Nintendo Quest Not for Resale Payback (Director’s Cut) Pulp Fiction The Punisher (1989) The Ref The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[dangerouslyinlovewithchris]

The Start Of Something - Drabble

I managed to get myself to sit at the computer and since everything before this had implied an already relationship, I wanted to do something before it had started. I can't help it, I find it wholesome, just imagining and the second part is totally already planned. I can feel it!

Anyway, this is before the reader and Chris are together, that might come later, depending how the muse goes. I've given up predicting it, it does what it wants!

This is slow burn, completely free of anything too fluffy. The solid fluffiness will come later *Evil smirk* Enjoy!

Word Count: 1167

It was such a struggle sometimes, maintaining your distance from him. It shouldn’t have been a problem at all; he was your superior and such relationships were frowned upon, were they even possible. And yet, it remained a struggle for you.

It didn’t help that he had this habit of leaning against the console. He couldn’t simply remain in the Captain’s chair and shout his instructions; he had to come closer, as though making sure you were doing your job properly. You were fairly certain that wasn’t why he came over; it was simply his nature to be close to people, but it felt that way.

It was near torture and you knew it affected how you worked. More than once he’d had to ask you the same thing several times because you’d been fighting with every fibre of your being not to slide closer to him; not to accidentally touch his hand while inputting a command. It was so damn difficult, and yet you couldn’t stop yourself wanting him to come closer to you.

You hated it when he remained in the chair, simply looking at a PADD, or talking to one of the other crew members. You didn’t even like it when he stood before the viewscreen, close but not close enough to make contact with you.

Contact, oh, you couldn’t even think about that!

It had only happened a few times: accidental touching in the corridors as you moved between stations; once when the ship lurched and he fell against you before righting himself. It had set off lightning bolts of need and you savoured those memories like treasured belongings. You were certain they hadn’t meant anything to him; except perhaps embarrassment in the latter case, but you loved it all the same.

“Commander, are you going to lay in the course or will we have to find another way to reach the nebula?” Chris’ voice broke you from your thoughts and you turned to him, meeting his eyes for all of a second before looking away again. Shit, how long had he been watching you?

“Sorry, sir,” you managed, before realising you had no freaking idea which nebula you were meant to be plotting a course towards.

“Commander?”

You could hear him standing and you tensed, looking at your fingers as your brain went through all the nearby nebulas. There weren’t that many, perhaps you’d be lucky and pick the right one. You reached out, beginning to input the bearing, when he reached out, his hand on your stopping it.

“I said course heading 102 mark 5, why are you plotting a course to 47 mark 6?”

Shit, you’d clearly picked the wrong nebula.

“Sorry, sir,” you stammered, your eyes fixed firmly on your hand, the one that he had briefly touched; the one you feared you might never be able to wash again.

“Are you okay, Commander? You seem a little…distracted?”

He was close enough for you to hear the lift in his voice and your heart stopped for a moment. You felt as though you’d been shot by lightning and there was no way for you to reply to that. He’d not only noticed you were distracted, but his words implied he might have known why…and better yet, that he liked it?

“Commander?”

The amusement was becoming ever more obvious and you forced yourself; willed yourself, to regain control. Taking a deep breath, you actively prayed for him to move just a little bit further away so you might not be able to sense his body heat, all the while forcing your hand to move as it was meant to, so your distraction might become less obvious.

“Course heading… 102 mark 5,” you managed, your finger moving to the initiate button, turning to look at the Captain now.

“We have progress,” Chris smiled at you, forcing you to turn away again, “but you still haven’t addressed my more pressing concern.” To your horror he came closer, clearly not wanting to make this uncomfortable for you, not when the rest of the crew was on the bridge, watching the interaction. “Are you okay, Commander? Do you need some time?”

If he stayed that close for much longer it wouldn’t be time alone you needed, but time with him.

Feeling your cheeks flush, you stared at that initiate button intently, as though it was the most fascinating thing in the universe. You could have looked at the viewscreen, but you didn’t trust yourself and so couldn’t bring yourself to look up. Plus, the consoles were dark and reflective, you could just about make out his reflection and the perfection of it. There was a smile too, or was that your imagination?

“I’m fine, Captain,” you managed, when you realised he wouldn’t leave without an answer, “I just…didn’t sleep much last night. I had news, bad news, from home.”

“Oh, I hope everything is okay,” Chris’ voice softened, though he moved away slightly now, giving you space as though it would help you process your news. There was no news, but you had to say something to get him to back off!

“It will be, sir,” you replied, turning to look at him again, noticing the concern in his eyes as you did so. “It is nothing I can’t handle.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Chris gifted you a smile, a warming one that he gave frequently to all members of the crew. He loved you all equally, he made no attempt to hide it, there was little reason to think this was anything more than that. “If you need to talk, you know my door is always open.”

Or maybe there was.

He’d made that offer before, but there was a way to him that made you wonder if it was something different this time. You could almost hear the unspoken words, ‘whatever time you find yourself in need of me’. Okay, maybe ‘in need of me’ was a bit too much, but the 'whatever time' was implied, you knew he had wanted to say that but didn’t. You just knew it.

“Thank you, Captain,” you managed, as he finally returned to his chair and your heart rate started to slow, though your hand continued to tingle.

“Whenever you are ready, Commander,” Chris continued, and you looked at him again, watching as he finally sat back in the seat. “Hit it.”

“Yes, sir,” with a smile, a relieved smile, you turned back to the console and finally hit that button you’d been staring at for so long.

You couldn't help but wonder if you would take him up on that offer; not to talk about your family, but to talk about something else; anything else.

You hadn’t imagined the touch, the smile, or the concern; but was it more than what he showed to everyone else? Could it be possible that this man, so beloved by everyone, might have found himself attracted to you?

You hoped so, you truly did.

[theradioghost]

Podcasts (however many of your choosing) rated by how screwed you would be if you had to do a group presentation with the main characters.

the penumbra (juniverse): 2/10, if the crew of the carte blanche can do heists and shit I think they could manage a group presentation for a heist. I’m not saying terrible things wouldn’t happen to throw off the plan, but I am saying that they’d pull it together in the end

the penumbra (second citadel): 8/10. there are at least two duels happening by the end. something is on fire. sir caroline has put a sword through the wall. at least the presentation isn’t your biggest worry anymore

ars paradoxica: 5/10. you get a perfect grade on your presentation but the things you did will haunt you forever

stellar firma: 9/10. david has met like three people and has very limited knowledge, trexel is trexel, and the moment something inevitably goes wrong hartro’s going to start wielding her foot fetish like a weapon again. if you get out of this without your presentation causing multiple civilian casualties you’ve gotten off lucky

night vale: 3/10. at least there’s only one major person to deal with and his whole job is presenting things, so if you can manage to keep him on topic then you’re probably going to do fine. try to avoid the subject of the weather

death by dying: 4/10 but you should probably do the talking yourself because if you let the obituary writer start on the metaphors then you’re going to lose control of this situation very quickly and Death Herself may or may not show up

alice isn’t dead: 6/10. you really don’t want to be in the vicinity when keisha starts presenting information verbally I think

the magnus archives: 8/10. see the above but more so. increased probability that you’d be presenting to an utterly terrifying boss

i am in eskew: 10/10 THE ABOVE BUT EVEN MORE AGGRESSIVELY SO GET OUT IMMEDIATELY

archive 81: depends which main characters. pick dan or chris over nicholas I think. absolutely do not do a group presentation with mark/dromon

the orbiting human circus: 6/10 julian WILL disrupt the presentation somehow but it’ll be incredibly endearing

greater boston: 9/10 there’s so many of them and they’re all at odds so much of the time there’s no way this is going to go well and if you have to do ANY group work with chelmsworth or bespin or early-seasons poletti then just walk out it’s not worth it

caravan: 8/10 everyone in this podcast is too horny to get a presentation done

love and luck: 0/10 holy shit this is going to be the most supportive and collaborative group presentation ever to exist and even if things don’t turn out quite perfect you are going to feel so positive about it

sayer: 9/10 like the presentation’s going to go well but you WILL die in the course of it somehow

the strange case of starship iris: 1/10 the most amazingly normal group presentation experience that would come out of any of these possibilities despite the fact that there’s an alien there. sana tripathi should be allowed to lead every single group project of any kind ever

our fair city: 5/10 on the plus side you’re doing a presentation with a bunch of genius mad scientists. on the downside you’re doing a presentation with a bunch of genius mad scientists. or alternately you’re also doing it with about 40 other people and some of them are molepeople

mabel: 4/10. you don’t remember anything your group members just said and you barely remember speaking yourself but you think it may have been beautiful, almost poetry, and you think it was definitely terrifying. your audience looks shellshocked, distant. there is moss growing from the walls for some reason. it feels like maybe the walls were listening too. you hope the walls liked it.

[bobbyshaddoe80]

Liberated Audio Reviews

Blake's 7 - The Liberator Chronicles Vol. 6

RELEASED OCTOBER 2013

Recorded on: 2, 10 and 30 October and 13 December 2012

Recorded at: Moat Studios

Review By Robert L. Torres

Incentive by Peter Anghelides

'The Liberator crew are recovering from a Galactic War and searching for their lost members Blake and Jenna. But it’s a search that leads them into terrible danger…'

Because this story marks the return of Steven Pacey to the role of Del Tarrant, I think it is best that I get my views on the character out of my system before getting to the rest of the review.

Honestly.... Out of the main characters that have come and gone on the show during its four season run, there are two that I do not count as my favorites.

The first is Soolin, largely due to how bland and one note the character was compared to the character she was brought on to replace in Series D... Cally.

The other character is Del Tarrant, and I shall endeavor to explain why I dislike him despite Steven Pacey's fine performance.

From the first moment he appeared on the show, there was something about him that just rubbed me the wrong way. For years I knew it was the character himself that seemed like the problem... But I could never work out why.

This story finally brought to light why I disliked Tarrant's character. He was a young, cocky, hot shot with loyalties only to himself... Basically a less charming and less endearing version of Star Lord. He was impatient, brash, and only seemed to be throwing in his lot with the resistance for no other reason than for fame and glory.

In addition, Tarrant seemed to go out of his way to get under everyone's skin (or rather just Avon's), and always bristled under Avon's command.

I understand that with Gareth Thomas having left the series, they needed to create a new character to go up against Avon on the decision making, much in the same way Avon used to butt heads with Blake. Except the dynamic between Avon and Tarrant, from what I remember, was different and far more antagonistic than it was between Blake and Avon. Avon was an Alpha dog, but Tarrant was also an Alpha dog. This is probably why most of their disagreements, from what I remember, tended to come across like dick wagging contests.

It has been a while since I saw the series proper, but there are only two things of any significance regarding Tarrant that I remember. The first was the Series C episode 'Death Watch', which I think involved his twin brother Deeta. The other was the episode 'Sand' from Series D, which involved him and Servalan being trapped on a planet together... Having conjugal relations.

While the character of Del Tarrant isn't my favorite, Anghelides does a pretty good job of at least attempting to shed a bit of light on his character. This is accomplished by focusing on his desperate desire to stand out from the crowd and make a name for himself on par with the legendary Blake and Jenna.

The story begins not long after Tarrant and Dayna have officially joined the crew. During their latest attempt to locate Blake and Jenna, Tarrant and Avon are captured and interrogated while strapped to an electro-shock lie detector. This dual focused narrative split is in itself a pretty interesting dig at unreliable narratives, especially given that both Tarrant and Avon receive electro shocks whenever they aren't being completely truthful in their recollections.

By the way, kudos to Adrian Lukis for his exquisite portrayal of Interrogator Bracheeni. The scenes that featured him interacting with Tarrant and Avon were actually some of the best parts of the story. The revelation of who and what Bracheeni is added a great deal to the narrative, especially in providing an explanation as to why the Liberator crew had to abandon the search for Blake and Jenna.

All things considered, it is nice to get an actual in-universe explanation as opposed to what actually happened: the plot thread being dropped without explanation, forcing viewers to accept the fact that Blake and Jenna weren't coming back... Ever.

While there are some interesting ideas and set ups featured in the story, the narrated recollections are not really that engaging. In addition, my problem with this story is the same problem I had with Volume Three's 'Armageddon Storm'. Its a narrated story that should have been done as a full cast audio.

Final Score: 6 out of 10 Plasma Bolts

As it stands, this story does its job of filling an hour and retroactively provides answers to lingering questions, thus making it essential. However, this is marred by being an uneven story that is only half engaging.

Jenna's Story by Steve Lyons

'Jenna's story is finally told - from her escape from the Liberator during the Galactic War, to her determination to continue the fight against the Federation alone… with the odds stacked against her.'

When Big Finish Productions obtained the rights to produce new stories set within Series A through C of Blake's 7, this not only opened up story avenues to provide greater focus stories for many of its characters, but also an opportunity to fill in a couple of gaps in the narrative.

While 'Incentive' was an uneven story, it still managed to do what the show itself was unable or unwilling to do at the time: explain why the Liberator crew abandoned their search for Blake and Jenna.

Answering lingering questions seems to be this boxset's central theme as the next two stories are focused on what happened to the characters that literally jumped ship at the end of Series B, Jenna and Blake.

According to dialogue spoken by Cally in early Series C, it was always assumed that Jenna was with Blake when they abandoned ship during the Galactic War. It was also naturally assumed that Jenna had been with Blake the whole time during Series C and D.

Turns out that wasn't the case at all... Which actually works to the benefit of this story and the next.

Here, Jenna recounts how she spent her time surviving and fighting during the events of Series C and leading into Series D. It provides Sally Knyvette with great material and also serves as a reminder of what made me, personally, fall out of love with the series during Series D... Particularly with the way the series ended.

Let me be clear, as much I personally didn't like not having Blake and Jenna around on the show anymore, Steve Lyons managed to craft an exceptional Jenna-centric story that absolutely had to be told. This story, as well as the next one, managed to do a much better job implementing the central themes of what was meant to be on display during Series C and particularly during Series D: how the crusade that Blake started with hope and optimism slowly but surely devolved into cynicism, suspicion, self-interest and ultimately self-destruction.

This is highlighted well during Jenna's dealings with Correll, played by John Banks, and his disrespectfully dismissive attitude towards people with 'noble causes', his derogatory disbelief in 'heroes', as well as his overriding, self-serving self-interest.

Kudos to Banks for portraying someone that's basically an unlikeable, selfish jerk without becoming despicable.

The crux and climax of the story is based on a line of dialogue Blake tells Tarrant during the series finale regarding Jenna's ultimate fate. While the moment itself is thrilling and well executed, I had hoped that it was a lie as part of Blake's test or something. Still, what was crafted here is suitably tragic as it showcases the depths of Jenna's devotion, and even her love, for Blake.

The ultimate tragedy being that, in the end, she never did get to tell Blake how she felt about him... and how much he meant to her.

Final Score: 10 out of 10 Plasma Bolts

A superbly satisfying sendoff and sublime swansong for Sally's Stannis!

Blake's Story by Mark Wright and Cavan Scott

'Blake's story is finally told - from his escape from the Liberator during the Galactic War, to his new life as a troubled, scarred man on a distant rebel world…'

Before getting into the review, I have to state that while I understand the reasons why Gareth Thomas and Sally Knyvette left the show at the end of Series B, it is my opinion that the show lost quite a bit of its inherent identity once Blake and Jenna were gone.

While many contend that promoting the late Paul Darrow to lead actor was the creative booster shot the show needed, there is a reason the show was still called Blake's 7 and not Avon's 7.

No matter who is given the spotlight and focus, Blake's presence is still very embedded within the show's DNA. Despite his absence, Blake's influence is still keenly felt by those that inhabit this fictional universe... Both directly and indirectly.

While the storytelling avenues may have opened up for the rest of the cast, the audience would still inevitably wonder, 'Where the hell is Blake? When is he coming back?' Largely because the audience was still interested in seeing Blake's story continue.

Both Gareth Thomas and Chris Boucher no doubt understood this to be absolutely true. As long as the Roj Blake character remained alive, but missing from a show that bared his character's name, then Gareth Thomas would not have been able to truly move forward in his career.

Which is why its no surprise that the most memorable moment in the entire series came about at Thomas' insistence.

But this isn't about how Blake's story ends... Its about the circumstances Blake experienced during Series C and D that led to his ultimate fate on Gauda Prime. And I am pleased to say that Wright and Scott do an excellent job filling in the blanks of Blake's journey.

From landing on the planet Epheron in his escape pod, to attempting to reunite with the Liberator (which includes Blake visiting the planet Shorlan post-Armageddon Storm), to being captured, tortured and accused of treachery by the Resistance (thus explaining the scar over his eye he displayed in the series finale), its all presented here brilliantly. I also appreciate how engaging these moments are, and aren't treated as plot points to check off.

The late Gareth Thomas really did a great job with this material, displaying the same charisma and intensity he had shown throughout his tenure on the show, which is doubly unfortunate that he had opted out after Series B.

The framing device utilized for Blake recounting events is brilliant, and the twist reveal is actually rather clever... If a little unsurprising. However, it serves the narrative well as it goes to the heart of the tragic and ironic inevitability that lies ahead for Blake, particularly in his connection to Avon.

Despite their disagreements and opposing ideals... And no matter how often Avon secretly wished to be rid of Blake... They still needed each other.

It often reminds me of why the Doctor chooses to travel with companions, the companions keep the Doctor grounded and keep the Doctor from going too far for the sake of selfish self interest and so on.

While neither one would ever admit it, Blake and Avon had the ability to keep each other in check. And even though Blake said at the end of 'Star One' and even near the end of this story that he always trusted Avon... Its only with the benefit of hindsight do we question whether or not that trust was warranted.

Final Score: 10 out of 10 Plasma Bolts

A truly satisfying sendoff for the original star of the show.

Final score for Volume 6 of the Liberator Chronicles, in its entirety, is 8 out of 10 Plasma Bolts.

This is an essential set of stories for longtime fans. Even though there are six more boxsets of stories left in the range, if the Liberator Chronicles audio range ended here, it would have ended on a major high note.

As an aside, while the next six boxsets have produced some outstanding stories, I personally feel that both 'Jenna's Story' and 'Blake's Story' should have been the stories utilized as the finale for the Liberator Chronicles range overall.

-----------------------------------------------------

Questions or comments:

Email - bobbyshaddoe3004@yahoo.com

Bobby's Facebook Page

[bamon4bamily]

TVD 9x15 - Dream a little dream... (Part 1) Enjoy! =)

Cut to – the secret facility, around 3am. All the guests from the Thanksgiving dinner party have left. Augustus and Darius are having a little one on one before heading to bed.

 AUGUSTUS: So, how does it feel to be back from La-la land? You really had us worried for a while. Thought you were a goner.

DARIUS: How long was I out for?

AUGUSTUS: Almost a month… You’re lucky Veritas was able to use his psychic juju to break the illusion. I was about to give up.

DARIUS: Given our history, I’m surprised you even tried.

AUGUSTUS: Well, bygones. And, Pietro can be very persuasive, he insisted we get you back.

DARIUS: I’ll have to thank him for that. Listen, I know we don’t always see eye to eye, and I know I made some mistakes, but we need to find a way to get over our differences, and see this through to the end.

AUGUSTUS: I agree. That’s the only reason I accepted to do this. Also, I have to admit, you do have some irreplaceable talents.

DARIUS: As do you, from what I’ve been seeing… I could have sworn I saw Tamara at the dinner party. What are you, making clones now?

AUGUSTUS: (Smirks) Oh no, clones are of no real use. And, unlike you, I don’t like to tamper with nature. What you saw was technology at its best.

DARIUS: So, like robots, basically?

AUGUSTUS: Not exactly; more like artificial intelligence. Specifically, it’s called ASI, an artificial intelligence superior to human intelligence or ability. The superhuman, as we like to call it in the geek community.

DARIUS: And they call me the crazy one.

AUGUSTUS: Don’t confuse using technology in our advantage with a god complex, and a bad case of fatal attraction. You really lost it, Darius; almost sabotaged the order’s plan to cater to your fantasies. We can’t have that happen again, so, I hope you understand, some adjustments had to be made.

DARIUS: What are you talking about?

AUGUSTUS: Let’s just say, you didn’t get that scar on your head by accident…

DARIUS: What did you do to me?

AUGUSTUS: Don’t worry, nothing drastic. All I did was install a type of control button, to put it in a way. Just to make sure you don’t go rogue on us again. Can’t blame us for including an insurance policy after the mess you made. (Yawns) Well, I think it’s time I call it a night.

DARIUS: Question, did that “tweak” of yours involve some sort of weird programming with the movie Sunset Boulevard?

AUGUSTUS: The fifties noir film?  

DARIUS: Yes.

AUGUSTUS: Well, I am a big fan, but no; that’s all you, pal. Anyway, I need my rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.

DARIUS: Sweet dreams…

AUGUSTUS: (Somewhat confused) Uhm… okay. Make sure you get some sleep (he leaves).

DARIUS: I will, eventually…  (Darius dozes off in a daydream sort of state; the song Wicked Game by Hula-Hifi, lingering in his mind).

Cut to – The Salvatore mansion. Damon and Bonnie’s room, around 3 am. Damon wakes up suddenly, sweating and breathing heavily. He turns to Bonnie, she’s not in the bed. He gets up, knocks on the bathroom door, no answer. He opens the door, she’s not inside. Vamps downstairs, finds her watching T.V in the family room.

 DAMON: Hey, Bon-Bon; what are you doing?

BONNIE: Couldn’t sleep, and I didn’t want to wake you, so…

DAMON: (Peeks to see what she is watching) Sunset Boulevard, love this movie.

BONNIE: Come, join me.

DAMON: (Vamps speeds to cuddle with her) You okay?

BONNIE: Fine, just a bad case of insomnia.

DAMON: Want some popcorn?

BONNIE: Is the answer ever no when it comes to that question?

DAMON: (Smirks, gets up) One order of large popcorn coming right up (gives her a peck on the lips, and vamps to the kitchen. Bonnie continues to watch the movie; at some point she begins to feel sleepy and dazed, almost immediately, she falls into a deep sleep).

 Cut to – 1950, Hollywood, California. The cast and crew, of what promises to be the next Oscar winning film, are getting ready for another day of shooting on set. The lead actress, a true Hollywood diva, is in her dressing room rehearsing some lines. The lead actor walks in the room, hands her a cup of coffee.

 KAT: Every day I tell you I hate that…

IAN: And every day I do it anyway.

KAT: Can you just get out, before I have security take you out.

IAN: Is that any way to treat your co-star?

KAT: The only reason you got this job is because your daddy is the head of the studio, you are a horrible actor.  

IAN: Kitty Kat, that hurts my feelings. Not everyone can sleep their way to the top, if you know what I mean… Shall we do the count? Joseph, Chris, Michael… Oh, and let’s not forget your recent one, my lovely brother, Paul… I told you, everyone knows about you two, or almost everyone… Aw, poor Candice! Anyway, you can drop the act now.

KAT: And, I told you, who I choose or don’t choose to sleep with, is none of your business, or hers. So, butt out.

IAN: You know, you are quite cute when you get mad (smirks).

KAT: I actually look cuter when I’m kicking someone’s ass; want to see?

IAN: (Wiggles is eyebrows) Ooh, you are on fire today!

Keep it up, maybe you will finally nail at least one scene. (The film director walks in). 

MATT: You two are up. And please, stop with the bickering, it’s getting very annoying. Be professional for Christ’s sake!  Come on, chop, chop! You are on in five (leaves).

KAT: How dare he speak to me that way! Does he know who I am?!

IAN: Apparently, he doesn’t care; ouch! (Hands her the coffee cup) Here, have some, looks like you are going to need it.  

KAT: Shut up… (grabs the cup reluctantly, and takes a sip. Another actress comes barging in, venting).

CANDICE: I swear if I have to do another scene with that incompetent fool, I’m quitting!

KAT: What did Chris do this time?

CANDICE: He can’t tell his left foot from his right one. How on earth did he get the part!

IAN: (Looking at Kat, teasing) Gees, I wonder how…

KAT: (Rolls her eyes, turns to Candice) Come on, he’s not that bad.

CANDICE: Please, you only say that because you slept with him. Not that I’m judging, he’s very hot, but he definitely can’t dance!

KAT: Well, he makes up for it in other areas (smirks)…

CANDICE: (Grins) Naughty, naughty… Anyway, where is Paul?!

IAN: Missing someone? Don’t worry, Blondie, he should be here soon, he’s just running late. Think you can handle a few minutes without him?

CANDICE: God, I hate you…

KAT: That makes two of us.

IAN: (Looking at Kat) You know there’s a fine line between love and hate (smirks).

KAT: In your dreams.

IAN: Every night, at least twice.

KAT: You are disgusting.

IAN: I know (winks. The Assistant Director walks in).  

STEVEN: Miss. Graham, Mr. Somerhalder, we are ready for you.

KAT: Let’s go.

Cut to – LAPD Headquarters. The Chief of Police is in his office, smoking a cigarette, looking at a photo of a victim who was found brutally murdered the night before. The victim, an aspiring actress who had just landed her first role, a minor part in a high-profile production.

This town… A concrete monument of decay. From the outside it might seem glamourous, with its movie stars and divas, but it’s nothing more than a sewer filled with rats. Nights reek of booze, gun powder, and flesh blood, masked with a cheap imitation of expensive perfume.

Days are no better. The only difference between the two is that during the day, it’s harder for the predators to hide, or so they think. In reality, the true gangsters hide at plain sight. They mock us, thinking they are always one step ahead, always above the law.

But not this time… not this time… (Caresses the victim’s photo, a tear scrolling down his cheek) My sweet Nina… who could have possibly done this to you? And why?

(The song “The Two Of Us” by Mark Isham, plays in the background, as the Detective has flashbacks of the woman and the horrendous murder scene; tears keep rolling down his cheeks).

Cut to – the film set. Kat and Ian are shooting one of their scenes.

 IAN: Don’t go with him… you belong here, with me.

KAT: Please, don’t say those words. You know I want nothing more, but I can’t stay… He is my husband.

IAN: And I am the man you love.

KAT: Always and forever; no matter how far.

IAN: (Kisses her passionately. As she begins to walk away and the rain begins to pour, he runs after her, turns her around) I’m sorry, but I won’t let you go (kisses her again, the song Godot - The Fragrance of Dark Coffee + Rainymood, starts to play. 

The raindrops continue to fall as they hold each other, probably for the last time…)

MATT: And, cut! Beautiful! Now that’s what I call cinema! We are making history people!

KAT: (Ian is still holding on to her). Didn’t you hear cut?!

IAN: No, must have bad hearing… (he smiles; she tries to resist, yet can’t help but smile herself).

MATT: Okay, everyone, let’s take 30 while we prep for the next scene.

KAT: (To Ian) Did you hear that? (Pushes him away) Now, shoo, skedaddle! (She walks away, he follows behind, teasing her).

STEVEN: Mr. Davis, there is a Detective here to see you.

MATT: What? Why?

STEVEN: I think it has something to do with that actress that didn’t show up on set today.

MATT: Which actress, Steven, there are plenty of them around here.

STEVEN: Nina.

MEET: Nina, who? Doesn’t ring a bell.

STEVE: She’s the actress that is playing Miss. Graham’s handmaiden.

MATT: Oh, yes, I think I remember. What about her?

STEVEN: I don’t know. Why don’t you talk to the Detective.

MATT: Fine. Send him my way.

ZACH: (Shows him his badge) Detective Zach Roerig, LAPD, can I ask you some questions?

MATT: Sure, just don’t take too long, we need to keep shooting while we still have the proper lighting.

ZACH: (Takes a picture of Nina out of his pocket and shows it to him) Do you know this woman?

MATT: Barely, she is just an extra with a very small part, we don’t interact. I only work with the stars, so my assistant might be able to give you more insight on her.

ZACH: I’ll talk to him, that’s for sure. But you are the one in charge of this production, correct?

MATT: I am the Director, so yes.

ZACH: Maybe you should pay more attention to your “not so important” cast members as well. Miss. Dobrev was found brutally murdered last night; just one block from here.

MATT: Oh, lord, that is terrible. What happened?

ZACH: Was I not clear? She was murdered, decapitated to be exact. And, we suspect the one responsible for this heinous crime, is part of this little film of yours.

MATT: That’s absurd! No one here would ever do such a thing!

ZACH: You’d be surprised what people are capable of, especially in a town like this. It ain’t all lights and glamour. This is an official investigation, so we are shutting this production down until we get some answers.

MATT: You can’t do that! We are on a schedule.

ZACH: Well, it looks like you’re going to have to make some changes. I need you to call in everyone in the cast and crew, and I mean everyone. No one leaves, until we clear them.

MATT: Do you have any idea who you’re talking to? I don’t take orders from anyone.

ZACH: You Hollywood types and your sense of entitlement. You are in for a reality check, no one is above the law. Here is a warrant to search the premises and question every single one of you. So, make yourself comfortable, we might be here for a while. I’ll need your office for questioning, while my squad processes the area. I take it you don’t mind. And, to prove I’m not all that bad, I’ll start with you. Lead the way.

Cut to – the Director’s office.

 SUSPECT # 1 – THE DIRECTOR

ZACH: For the record, state your full name.

MATT: Matthew W. Davis.

ZACH: How did you know the victim?

MATT: I told you, I didn’t. Apart from directing the few scenes she has been in, I have never talked to or interacted with her at all.

ZACH: What were your whereabouts last night, from 11pm to 2am?

MATT: I was here, filming. Went home around 3am.

ZACH: (Shows him a note that reads: You were great last night. Keep it up, and you might become a real movie star someday…). Do you know what this is?

MATT: (Looking nervous) Where did you find that?

ZACH: I’m the one that will be asking the questions. Is this your handwriting?

MATT: It is.

ZACH: Can you explain how, and why, this was found in the victim’s purse the night she was murdered?

MATT: I have no idea. That note wasn’t for her.

ZACH: Oh, really? Who was it for, then? And why do you reckon Miss. Dobrev had it with her?

MATT: I can’t tell you who it was for. And, I have absolutely no idea why that woman would have that note.

ZACH: Oh, come on, try harder.

MATT: This is ridiculous, I want my lawyer.

ZACH: You are in your right to request one, but that would only make you more suspicious. So, I would advise otherwise.

MATT: What do you want from me? I already told you everything I know.

ZACH: Who was the note for?

MATT: Okay, okay… it was for Candice.

ZACH: Doesn’t make much sense though, she’s already a movie star…

MATT: She is, but not a diva, like Miss. Graham. That’s what every woman in Hollywood wants. And I am the only one that can give that to them.

ZACH: That’s a lot of power to be in one man’s hands.

MATT: I worked hard for it, trust me.

ZACH: Sure you did… Okay, I’m gonna let you go for now, while we verify your alibi; but trust me, we will talk again.

MATT: Whatever. Can I leave?

ZACH: Yes, and send your assistant in.

SUSPECT # 2 – THE ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

ZACH: For the record, state your full name.

STEVEN: Steven R. McQueen.

ZACH: How do you know Miss. Dobrev?

STEVEN: She is one of the actresses in the film.

ZACH: More like, was…

STEVEN: What?

ZACH: She was murdered last night, about a block from here. Know anything about that?

STEVEN: No, no, of course not. Oh, god, she’s dead?! This can’t be true… How, why?

ZACH: Well, that’s what I want to find out, pal. Think you can help me figure it out?

STEVEN: Whatever I can do to help, you can count on it. Miss. Dobrev was a lovely gal.

ZACH: Were you two close?

STEVEN: Not really. I met her when we started filming. We talked from time to time, but that was about it.

ZACH: Just talk, ha?

STEVEN: Yes, Detective, I swear.

ZACH: I believe you. Look, you seem like a decent guy. I’m sure, if anyone, you are the one that knows what really happens around this set. Help me out? Miss. Dobrev deserves some justice, don’t you think?

STEVEN: Of course. I will tell you everything I know.

ZACH: Good. Why don’t we start with Mr. Davis’s real relationship with the victim…

Cut to – Kat’s dressing room. Kat, Ian, Candice, Paul, and Chris are talking about the situation.

 CANDICE: With all due respect, but who is this Nina person?

KAT: She’s the actress playing my handmaiden.

CANDICE: Oh, her? Well, you can’t really refer to her as an actress, I mean...

CHRIS: She’s a nobody, so who cares.

PAUL: Judging from the Police take-over, something big is going on.  

CANDICE: Why do you care?

PAUL: I’m just saying, it doesn’t look good.

IAN: Well, I agree with Mr. slippery shoes and Cinderella, who cares! We should be shooting, don’t want to lose the good lighting.

KAT: Of course you wouldn’t dare to care about anyone but yourself….

IAN: Really, Kitty Kat? This coming from little Miss me, myself, and I. We all know who you are.

KAT: No you don’t, so stop pretending you do.

PAUL: (Sarcastically) Ouch, bro.

CHRIS: (To Kat and Ian, sounding quite bitter) Can you two stop bickering, for like a second! Gees, just get married already! So freaking obvious…

KAT: Please, he wishes!

IAN: I might like a little pain here and there, but I’m no masochist… unless you ask nicely, of course (winks; the Director walks in). Matt, can you please tell us what the hell is going on!

MATT: We’ve been shut down, until further notice. Oh, and no one can leave either, so make yourselves comfortable.

IAN: What! Why?!

MATT: Well, that wannabe actress playing Kat’s handmaiden was murdered last night. Ruined our entire schedule! The Police think one of us did it… ridiculous!

KAT: Wait, what!? She was murdered? No, no… that can’t be… Oh my god!

CHRIS: And I’ll say it again, why do we care? She is a nobody! Or was, whatever!

KAT: Don’t say that! You have no idea who she was…

CHRIS: Neither do you, Kitty Kat.

IAN: (Pushes Chris away from her)  First, no one calls her that, but me. Second, back off…

CHRIS: (Sarcastic smirk) Oh, please. Don’t you get it? She will never love you. Once she gets what she wants from you, she’ll throw you out like a piece of trash. So stop trying so hard.

IAN: (Grabs him by the neck) Listen, psycho boy…

PAUL: Stop, both of you. Is it too much to ask for you to act like adults, for once? We really don’t need your little pissing contest drama right now.

KAT: Nor any of this… Everyone get out, I need some space.

IAN: (Looking concerned) Kat...

KAT: I said, get out! All of you! (They leave).

Cut to – the Director’s office.

 ZACH: Thank you for your cooperation, this information is critical to our investigation.

STEVEN: (Looking scared) Please, Detective, promise me you won’t tell them you heard those things from me, I would be completely ruined.

ZACH: Don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me, trust me. Now, be a sport and send Miss. Accola my way, will you?

STEVEN: Will do, Detective.

ZACH: Thank you, we will talk again soon.

SUSPECT # 3 – THE ACTRESS

ZACH: For the record, state your full name.

CANDICE: (Flirtatious) Detective, you don’t believe I had anything to do with this, do you? I mean, look at me… do you really think I would be capable of such a thing?  

ZACH: Perhaps you didn’t hear me. I said, state your full name.

CANDICE: Fine… Candice Rene Accola. But I swear, Detective, I never even crossed a word with that woman.

ZACH: Funny, that’s not what I’ve heard…

CANDICE: From who? Whoever said that is obviously lying! I have a reputation to protect, I don’t mingle with the extras.

ZACH: Oh, I’m sure you don’t, but I wonder if you get jealous of them?

CANDICE: (Laughs) That’s absurd! Why on earth would I be jealous of her!? She’s a nobody.

ZACH: Maybe she had something you wanted…

CANDICE: What could she possibly have had that I don’t? If anything, she was the one jealous of me.

ZACH: I hear you are quite smitten with an ex of hers.

CANDICE: An ex? What are you talking about?

ZACH: Just cut the bullshit Miss. Accola. I know for a fact that Mr. Wesley and Miss. Dobrev where previously engaged, that is until you came into the picture…

CANDICE: (Nervously) Please, Detective, let me explain…

ZACH: Please, do.

CANDICE: It’s not what you think. I mean, yes, I knew they had a thing in the past, but that was a long time ago. They went to the same Highschool, in this godforsaken town in the middle of nowhere, or something along those lines. But, I swear, I never even spoke to her, nor did he, after that. No disrespect for the deceased, but she was weird, she didn’t belong in the same circle as us. There are levels, and she is, well, was, way below ours. If you are looking for a real suspect, I suggest you talk to Mr. Wood, I know there was something going on between those two.

ZACH: Really, why would you say that?

CANDICE: They are both whack jobs. They would get together after shooting; hang out at this weirdo trash bar down the block called “The Grill”, where all the other city looneys hang out. Trust me, they were into some really creepy stuff.

ZACH: What kind of creepy stuff?

CANDICE: Some obscure vampire nonsense. I’m telling you, totally cuckoo.

ZACH: Vampires?

CANDICE: Yes, I swear! If you ask me, I wouldn’t be surprised if Chris turned out to be one… I mean, if they were real, of course. Only a crazy person would believe those things.

ZACH: I agree. So, you are saying Miss. Dobrev had a dark side?

CANDICE: Oh, for sure! No one ever bought her little “Mary Sue” act.

ZACH: Well, that’s quite specific information for someone who claims not to know anything about her.

CANDICE: I’m just telling you what I’ve heard from others, specifically, from Mr. Wood.

ZACH: Okay, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on that, for the moment. Now, (hands her the same note he handed the Director) can you explain what this is about?

CANDICE: (Looking genuinely clueless) I have never seen that before, I promise.

ZACH: Fair enough. Moving on, what where your whereabouts last night, from 11pm to 2am?

CANDICE: I was here shooting, until about 3am, I think. I went straight home after that.

ZACH: 3 am? Doesn’t seem like a safe hour for a lady to be driving home alone…

CANDICE: Oh, of course not. I had my driver take me home.

ZACH: What’s your driver’s name?

CANDICE: Mr. Trevino, you can ask him if you don’t believe me. He’s right outside my dressing room.  

ZACH: No need, just yet. You are free to go, for now. Let Mr. Wood know I’m expecting him next.

CANDICE: Sure thing. (As she is walking out) Detective, one more thing… I probably shouldn’t say, since she is my best friend, but I feel obligated to mention this, it’s in my duty to do so. You should know Miss. Graham and Miss. Dobrev used to be very close friends, best friends actually. She doesn’t know I know that, but I do. In fact, Kat is the reason Nina got this job in the first place; and the reason why Nina moved from that Mystic place to LA. Just thought you should know… Hope it’s useful information (flirtatious smirk).  

ZACH: (Flirting back) Very useful, Miss. Accola; thank you for sharing.

Cut to –  Kat’s dressing room. She is looking at herself in the mirror; she seems somewhat sad, but a lot more worried. Ian knocks.

IAN: Kat, please, let me in… I’m sorry… (Kat opens the door, he walks inside, she looks around to make sure there is no one else there; shuts the door after him).

KAT: What do you want? I thought I made myself clear when I said I wanted to be left alone.

IAN: I needed to make sure you were okay (looks around the room) … I didn’t know you knew her outside of the film, I’m sorry if I was insensitive.

KAT: (Goes to her mini bar, serves and hands him a glass of bourbon) It’s just you and me, look for yourself. You can stop pretending now.

IAN: (Relieved) Okay, good… I don’t know how much longer I would be able to keep up with the act.

KAT: As long as it takes; we can’t risk them finding out.

IAN: I know, Kitty Kat, but I’m freaking out here! This place is infested with cops. What the hell are we going to do...?!

KAT: Calm down, we will think about that later… (kisses him passionately, and throws him on to her dressing room bed…)

*Not my art, loads of credit to the creator, this ilustration is awsome!  

TVD 9x15 (part 2) coming soon! Hope you stop by, read, and enjoy! =)