#like frisbee without the r
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femslashspuffy · 2 years ago
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Would it... would it be too much to name my dog fuffy?
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shycoconutt · 11 months ago
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high school sweetheart bokuto! who has only ever had crushes on celebrities before he met you. the day you got assigned to be partners for the semester in gym class (which he took even though he was exempt due to volleyball) was the day he went home and tore his bikini-clad posters off the wall and threw away his magazine stash under his bed. he doesn’t need to live in a boyish fantasy anymore, because you are real.
high school sweetheart bokuto! who loves to show off his athleticism. whether it’s tennis, frisbee golf, badminton, swimming, or baseball, he always comes out on top and drags you right there with him. you aren’t the most coordinated of the bunch, but you are competitive and he loves it. seeing you get fired up over a successful play mostly led by him had him reeling. on the train ride home, he finds himself replaying your small “woo”s and “yes bokuto!”s in his head with a stupid grin on his face.
high school sweetheart bokuto! who carries you to the nurse's office bridal-style after you fall and twist your ankle while running laps, cursing himself for not keeping a closer eye on you. while waiting for the nurse to come back with an ice pack, he notices the scrapes on your knees and takes it upon himself to take a warm, wet washcloth to clean off any dirt and debris that settles in the wounds. as you begin to sniffle as he kneels before you, he lifts your chin with a delicate finger, tilting his head in questioning. “i was on track to set a new personal record,” you manage to squeak out with a shy smile. after a pause in disbelief, bokuto’s howling laughter rings throughout the school halls.
high school sweetheart bokuto! who, for the week you are sitting out due to your injury, makes it his mission to make you laugh every single day. during dodgeball, he purposely lets himself get nailed in the face. during tennis, which he plays solo as he refuses to play with anyone else, he gives the loudest, most obnoxious grunts he can muster. during baseball, he hits an impressive triple but runs the bases in the opposite direction. every time he looks over to catch the way your shoulders shake and your eyes crinkle, he feels like a man without water finding a river in the desert.
high school sweetheart bokuto! who is absolutely awestruck to find you up in the stands at his latest volleyball match. going up to serve, right as he is about to start his routine, he hears your beautiful voice as you call out, “bokuto, nice serve!” from above. without skipping a beat, he tosses the ball up in the air, turns his head slightly to give you a wink, and slams the ball to the other side of the court. after hitting a serve that was more like a backcourt spike, he points to you on the sidelines, dedicating his service ace to you. little did he know then that every successful receive, set, spike, and serve from then on out would belong to you.
high school sweetheart bokuto! who finds you after the match and insists on walking you home, draping his jacket over your shoulders to shield you from the cool spring night. without saying anything, you pull out your old mp3 player from your bag and offer him an earbud which he takes eagerly. shoulder to shoulder, you walk the empty streets, bokuto humming along with the music. overtaken by the buzzing atmosphere, your proximity, and an old r&b song he thought he had forgotten about, he snakes his arm around your waist and intertwines his other hand with yours, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around. as you shriek in laughter while gripping onto him for dear life, bokuto vows to dedicate the rest of his days to chasing this feeling of pure joy with you.
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a/n: i just had to write something for our sweet bokuto. i think i am going to continue this as a series because it's just soooo cute! this is dedicated to my high school sweetheart who i met in gym class sophomore year. we're celebrating 10 years this weekend! <3
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leo-interactive-fiction · 5 months ago
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If it's not a bother, could I ask the reaction of the RO if the MC, who was a terrible cook, try to cook them something.
Thank you
Haha, let's see....
E: Their smile looks almost fixed in place as they use their fork to pick through the charred, ashen remains of the dish. Still, they do their best to take several bites, keeping that same well-meaning smile in place.
"Hey, you're getting better at using an oven!"
You cross your arms, "I didn't use an oven though?"
"O-Oh, w-well, that's not a bad thing..."
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R: They don't let the trial before them dissuade their natural assured expression. After all, years of practicing the slight of hand necessary to slip away cards unnoticed has prepared them for this life-saving moment as they pretend to eat, upturning their fork at the last moment to allow the burnt piece to fall into their sleeve.
"You've really outdone yourself, truly. Keep it up, and I may end up having to hire you on as a personal chef," R slips away, tossing all of the collected bits of food into the trash without you noticing.
"Sometimes a little white lie is a necessary evil..." they murmur to themselves.
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L: They glance down at the plate of "food" tentatively, "W-Well, perhaps a small bite? I am not particularly peckish at the moment..." They claim a delicate morsel, giving it a try. The color in their face seems to gradually fade as they continue to chew and chew, unable to fully pick it apart.
"I-It might be... a little too tough?" They say apologetically as they cover their mouth with a hand.
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V: They glance down at the plate for a moment before beginning to eat. Their grip on the fork is almost barbaric, holding it in a closed fist and stabbing down at the food as if executing the meal.
As you watch them wolf down the meal, you tap your fingers together, "How is it?"
"Crunchy..." They murmur with a mouthful of food, the lack of decorum lost on them as they continue, "I like it..."
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P: "Not again," They sigh as you set the plate in front of them, "What did I tell you about going into the kitchen?"
"H-Hey, I've gotten better! I think!"
They pick apart your dish, their nose scrunching slightly, "How is this raw and burnt at the same time...?"
"I tried my best!" You return defensively, "I poured my heart and soul into it..."
"Good to know you're that dedicated to poisoning me..." They shake their head and return the plate to you, "I guess it really can't be helped... If you're going to keep trying to put food in front of people, I may as well teach you something. It'll look bad on all of us if you start killing people with your shit cooking..."
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M: They glance down at the plate full of partially edible food for a moment before slowly lacing their fingers together. "I'm on.... a diet..."
You blink in surprise, "Oh, you never said anything about that..."
"I... just started... right now..." M claps their hands in finalization as they get up from the chair, "After all... it wouldn't do... if I couldn't... show off to you..."
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K: They look ecstatic as they rush through the dinner you've prepared, scarfing it down as if someone else may come along and steal it at any moment.
You peer over at them expectantly, "How is it...?"
"Horrible!" They say delightedly, chuckling with a soft smile, "But... even if you gave me the world's most lethal poison, I would still gladly eat it. Knowing that you made it for me is all I need... Plus, this isn't as bad as some of the leftovers I've found in dumpsters!"
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S: They glance around as they're presented with the smoking pile of charred coal. Thinking fast, they wave their hands around uncertainly before pointing behind you, "Ah, what in the hell is that?!"
As you glance behind yourself, S takes the plate and flings it like a frisbee across the room. The sound of shattering porcelain brings your attention back.
"What was that?!"
S gives their best attempt at confused nonchalance, "Eh... I think there's a draft... yeah..."
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F: The royal wears a disconcerted expression, as if you had just handed them a bowl of dog food. They don't even deign touch the plate, using their fork to push the dish back towards you, "Perhaps... it would behoove you to perform a taste test."
You look slightly disappointed, "But... I made it for you."
"Oh, I insist... As a matter of fact, you should be rewarded for your efforts. The first serving is yours, and I would not have you leave until you finish all of it."
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Thank you for the ask! It was fun to write out haha. Work has kept me a bit busy as I've gotten a promotion, but means I have to work 12 hour shifts that tend to bleed into overtime haha
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berrypass-de-murdler · 1 month ago
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S-5 Death on the Quad
I smell a plot brewing
What's brewing in the plot
DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!
This kid’s heart is beating out of his chest as he takes heavy breaths and tries to settle himself.
KID: The future depends on it. The future depends on it. It depends on YOU! YOU, YOU FOOL! You’ll never do this. YOU’LL NEVER DO THIS!
Abalone hears the yelling coming from a shut dorm and gets nervous. 
The kid throws himself on the ground and sobs. Then he sucks the tears back in, and rises. It’s go time.
Slowly, he wanders the quad. He scans the students walking in and out of the buildings. None of them look right. There’s a girl with horns, ramming against a tree and yelling. She’s obviously not it. That kid spinning around with a frisbee and never actually throwing it DEFINITELY isn’t. He rolls his eyes. Why does everyone have to be so… dumb? Little does he know the world’s most beautiful sound is about to lace his ears.
LOGICO: EW!! THE FUCK! A DEAD CHESSBOXING COACH! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DEAD PEOPLE?!
The kid turns toward the tiny gremlin, seeing a grumpy cyclops pout and rage. His face falls limp with awe, and his eyes sparkle like an entire galaxy. Could this be it? 
LOGICO: [point] YOU! 
The kid’s heart stops. He wasn’t expecting to be noticed so quickly.
LOGICO: AND YOU, AND YOU! GET OVER HERE! 
The others walk over too. It’s time for Logico to investigate yet another murder. Why does everyone have to rely on him? Why can’t someone call the police or something?
Logico first gets to the girl with the horns. She’s a cow, but an angry one, and bigger than a lot of the other students. The current president, Pine.
PINE: You better bet I’m gonna protect my position. NO ONE’s gonna take this spot from me! No kids, no coach, no NOTHIN’!
That’s already a big red flag, but unfortunately Logico has to examine the others for a fair trial. The frisbee kid is an unknown animal with a big orange hat called Tangerine. 
TANGERINE: I am going to be the first nonbinary person to graduate from this place.  KID: You’re not alone... My friend is also- TANGERINE: I SAID. I am going to be the first. And if I’m not? There will be hell to pay.
Logico doesn’t know the gender identity of the coach, so this is equally suspicious. The final suspect is the kid. He’s wearing a crop tank that says “BEST BOI”, a bright blue jacket, shorts, one earring, and socks with sandals. 
LOGICO: If you’re going to dress that hideous, why do you even bother?
Then he finally realizes how dirty that sounded. He notices that he’s wearing a specific ruby pin. He knows he’s seen someone else wearing it, but he doesn’t remember who. Is it a fraternity? 
LOGICO: Speak up, dumbass.
The kid can’t bring himself to muster a word. But he writes something down and shoves it in his face. It’s a collection of Roman numerals.
LOGICO: OH, SPEAK WORDS, YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON!
The kid has disappeared. Logico clutches his head. And then after feeling a creepy touch, he finds another note in his pocket.
“I = 1
II = 2
1 = A
2 = B
2”
An uncomfortable presence, but Logico decides to at least try following its words. And miraculously, it translates what that kid gave him. With this new knowledge, he figures out that the killer was Pine!
PINE: THAT FUCKER AIN’T GONNA STOP MY REIGN! I SWEAR TO GOD!
She runs away, and Logico looks up at the incredible statue in the center of the quad. Lord Graystone, the griffon who founded the school. Maybe one day he’ll be able to solve his murder, the greatest of them all.
The end! 
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Well-dressed mystery boy? Lmao, no.
And cool fact - Cartoon Tangerine is s h o r t.
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The power of Goat Lord compels you!
See you next time murdlers!
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greenmeadowsresort · 3 months ago
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Relax and Rejuvenate at a Beach Side Resort in Chennai
Chennai, the energetic capital of Tamil Nadu, is well known for its beautiful coastline, busy city life, and rich cultural legacy.  Nothing compares to relaxing at a beach side resort in Chennai for individuals looking for the ideal getaway from the bustle of the city.  With their golden sands, soft sea breezes, and opulent amenities, these resorts provide the perfect setting for rest, renewal, and sensory stimulation.
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Why Choose a Beach Side Resort in Chennai?
Chennai's beaches are enticing not only because of their inherent beauty but also because of the opulent resorts that border the shore.  A beach side resort in Chennai provides the ideal fusion of comfort, adventure, and tranquility, whether you're looking for a family holiday, a romantic retreat, or a solitary escape.  Here are some reasons to make it your next vacation spot:
1. Magnificent Ocean Views: Waking up to see the sun rise over the Bay of Bengal is a unique experience. Most resorts offer private balconies and rooms with a view of the sea, allowing guests to take in the breathtaking surroundings.
2. Calm Ambience: The waves lapping against the coast create a tranquil atmosphere perfect for meditation and rest.
3. World-Class Amenities: From infinity pools and spa treatments to private beach access and gourmet dining, resorts in Chennai offer everything you need for a luxurious stay.
4. Perfect for Adventure Enthusiasts: If you enjoy water sports or beach activities, resorts often provide options like kayaking, parasailing, and beach volleyball, ensuring your stay is filled with fun and excitement.
The Best Things to Do in a Beach Side Resort in Chennai
Staying at a beach side resort in Chennai is not just about lounging by the pool.   It's about taking advantage of the beautiful surroundings and engaging in physical and mental rejuvenation activities.  The following are some of the best things to do when visiting:
1. Take Advantage of a Calm Spa Treatment The best resort in Chennai offers opulent spa treatments that blend conventional and contemporary wellness methods. Indulge in a revitalizing body scrub or a relaxing massage. After using fragrant oils and skilled techniques, you will feel calmed and rejuvenated.
3. Indulge in Gourmet Cuisine
A stay at the best resort in Chennai is incomplete without relishing the finest local and international cuisines. Many resorts have in-house restaurants that serve fresh seafood, traditional South Indian dishes, and global flavors. Enjoy a candlelight dinner by the beach or a barbecue under the stars for a memorable culinary experience.
4. Water Sports and Beach Activities
For thrill-seekers, resorts often offer a variety of water sports. You can try jet skiing, banana boat rides, or paddleboarding. If you prefer something more laid-back, beach volleyball or frisbee is a great way to have fun with family or friends.
5. Private Beach Picnics
Some beach side resorts in Chennai offer exclusive private beach areas where you can arrange a picnic. Enjoy the cool breeze, sip on refreshing cocktails, and watch the waves crash against the shore in your secluded spot.
Best Beach Side Resorts in Chennai for a Luxurious Stay
If you’re looking for the best resort in Chennai, here are some top-rated options that promise a luxurious and memorable experience:
1. Green Meadows Resort:
One of the best beach side resorts in Chennai, Green Meadows Resort offers the ideal balance of luxury and tranquility.  This resort, which is tucked away along the picturesque ECR stretch, features heritage-style cottages that are lovely, have beautiful grounds, and have convenient beach access.  It promises a revitalizing getaway with its soothing spa treatments, outdoor pool, and delicious multi-cuisine restaurant.  Whether you're organizing a family holiday or a romantic retreat, Green Meadows Resort provides a peaceful haven with first-rate facilities and friendly service.
2. Taj Fisherman’s Cove Resort & Spa
A prestigious beach side resort in Chennai, Taj Fisherman's Cove is tucked away along Covelong Beach and is renowned for its exquisite cottages, exclusive beach access, and top-notch amenities. The resort is the ideal retreat for families and couples because it provides water activities, beachside dining, and spa services.
3. Radisson Blu Resort Temple Bay  This resort in Mamallapuram features a lavish spa, infinity pools, and breathtaking sea views.  With features like cycling, beach games, and boat rides, the expansive property is perfect for both leisure and adventure.
4. Chariot Beach Resort Chariot Beach Resort's vast beachfront provides a tranquil haven from the bustle of the city.  The resort is well-liked by tourists looking for luxury and peace because of its spa services, cozy villas, and poolside bar.
5. VGP Golden Beach Resort
Perfect for families, this resort offers a blend of fun and relaxation. With an amusement park, beach activities, and comfortable accommodations, it’s an excellent choice for a family-friendly beach vacation.
Tips for Choosing the Perfect Beach Side Resort in Chennai
To guarantee a comfortable and memorable stay, take into account the following elements when choosing a beach side resort in Chennai:
Location: Pick a resort that provides quick access to the beach and neighboring sights.  Because of their picturesque settings, resorts close to Covelong Beach and ECR (East Coast Road) are well-liked.
Amenities: Seek resorts with a range of facilities, such as recreational opportunities, beach access, and spa treatments.
Guest Reviews: To evaluate the level of client happiness and service quality, look for internet reviews and ratings.
Food Options: If you intend to remain for a few days, choose resorts with a variety of food options.
Offers & Packages: A lot of resorts provide exclusive packages that include adventure activities, spa services, and meals.  Your entire experience can be improved by booking such packages.
The Advantages of a Vacation by the Sea
There are several advantages for both physical and mental health when visiting abeach side resort in Chennai:
Stress Reduction: The soothing sound of the waves and the clean sea air can help people feel less stressed and anxious.
Improved Sleep: You get better sleep because of the quiet atmosphere and absence of city noise, which leaves you feeling rejuvenated and well-rested.
Vitamin D Boost: Moderate sun exposure raises vitamin D levels, which strengthens the immune system and enhances general health.
Time for Self-Care: Spa treatments, yoga, and meditation are among ways to concentrate on self-care while at a coastal retreat.
In conclusion
The ideal method to relax and get back in touch with nature is to take a vacation at a beach side resort in Chennai. The experience is truly magical, whether you're taking in a soothing spa treatment, dining by the beach with candles, or watching the sunrise over the Bay of Bengal. Chennai's coastline provides the ideal getaway for tourists looking to unwind and revitalize themselves with its opulent resorts, stunning landscapes, and an extensive array of activities.
 Therefore, the best resort in Chennai is the only place you need to consider while organizing your next vacation.  It's time to gather your belongings, escape the bustle of the city, and enjoy the quiet of the beach.
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tailwindpets · 8 months ago
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The Hidden Benefits of Dog Knee Braces: Unlocking Healing Before and After ACL Surgery
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When Bella, a spirited Golden Retriever, jumped excitedly to catch her favorite frisbee, her world came crashing down. A sudden yelp followed by a whimper shattered the joy of a sunny afternoon. A visit to the vet confirmed the worst: Bella had torn her ACL. While the prospect of surgery loomed, her owner, Tom, felt overwhelmed. He had heard about dog knee braces, but did they really make a difference? What if they could help Bella heal faster and return to her playful self?
Understanding ACL Injuries in Dogs
ACL injuries are quite common in dogs, especially in active breeds. In fact, studies suggest that around 1 in 5 dogs will experience a cruciate ligament injury at some point in their livesnjuries not only cause pain but can also lead to long-term mobility issues if not properly managed.
The Role of Dog Knee Braces
As Tom prepared for Bella’s surgery, he learned that dog braces could serve as an essential part of the recovery process. While many people associate knee braces primarily with human athletes, their use in veterinary medicine is gaining traction due to several compelling benefits.
Before Surgery: Preparing the Joint
Pain Management: A dog knee brace can alleviate discomfort by stabilizing the joint, allowing Bella to move with less pain leading up to her surgery. According to research, using a brace can reduce pain by as much as 30%, making it easier for dogs to engage in daily activities .
Further Injury: A knee brace acts as a protective barrier, minimizing the risk of additional injuries before surgery. This is crucial, as some dogs can inadvertently worsen their condition by being too active.
Reduced Swelling: By providing compression, a knee brace can help control swelling in the affected area, promoting a healthier environment for healing and a smoother surgical process.
After Surgery: The Road to Recovery
Once Bella underwent surgery, the real value of her knee brace came to light.
Enhanced Stability: Post-surgery, a dog knee brace provides the necessary support to stabilize the knee joint as it heals. This stability is vital in preventing re-injury and ensuring a successful recovery.
Faster Recovery Time: Dogs that use knee braces after surgery often experience shorter recovery times. Research indicates that dogs wearing braces post-surgery returned to their normal activities 25% faster than those without . This can be a gr for active dogs like Bella.
Increased Confidence: After surgery, dogs can be hesitant to put weight on the affected leg. A knee brace instills confidence, encouraging dogs to use their legs without fear, leading to better mobility and faster rehabilitation.
Strengthening Muscles: As Bella regained her strength, the knee brace allowed her to move while still providing support. This gradual increase in activity is crucial for muscle recovery, ensuring she would return to her playful self.
Bella's Transformation
With the help of her custom dog knee brace, Bella's recovery journey was remarkable. Tom noticed improvements in her mobility within weeks. She quickly went from tentative steps to bounding around the yard, tail wagging, and her joyful bark returning. The brace was not just a piece of equipment; it was a lifeline that allowed her to reclaim her spirited nature.
Conclusion: A Lifesaving Investment
Tom’s experience with Bella highlights the untold healing power of dog knee braces, especially before and after ACL surgery. For dog owners facing similar challenges, investing in a quality knee brace can significantly enhance their pet’s recovery journey.
As you navigate the complex world of canine injuries, remember that proactive measures, like using a dog knee brace, can make a substantial difference. By providing support and stability, these braces unlock the potential for healing, allowing our furry companions to enjoy the life they love once more.
Sources:
"Canine Cruciate Ligament Injuries: A Review of the Literature" - Journal of Veterinary Surgery
"Evaluation of Canine Knee Braces" - Veterinary Orthopedic Society
"Postoperative Recovery: Evidence-Based Recommendations" - Journal of Veterinary Medicine
By recognizing the critical role of dog knee braces, we empower ourselves as pet owners to facilitate healing and well-being for our furry family members.
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helenaheissner · 1 year ago
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Love During Robot Fighting Time: Chapter 16
Hello, lovelies! Hope y'all are doing well :)
Don't forget you can read three chapters ahead on this story, twenty chapters ahead on "A Dream of Summer Rain", and two chapters ahead on "Magical Girl Exorcist Squad", by becoming a paid subscriber on my Substack or my Patreon!
If that's too steep for you but you'd still like to support my work, consider making a one-time donation via Ko-Fi:
Thank you so much for your continued support of my work! Every little bit helps me to keep going :)
And now, back to our regularly scheduled nerdy romcom shenanigans!
***
Kate
Zeke and I ate dinner together again the next night, and the next night, and the next, and the next. Our second dinner we just went and got pizza, then took in a movie. Our third saw us eating at my place, while my parents playfully interrogated the young man as to his intentions towards me. Our fourth was at his place, and Faith was in attendance- mostly because she was the one who cooked for us. It was a delicious meal of grilled chicken sandwiches with a homemade cobb salad on the side. I didn’t realize she was the one doing that for us until I arrived and the food had already been prepared, and I was wracked with guilt at the realization. The poor girl was bending over backwards to help me, and being nothing but nice to me… I tried to invite her to stay, but she slipped off somewhere before I could even finish the offer. 
We all had the week off from our respective fights, and none of us felt like going out, so we wound up spending Friday night all watching the fights together at my place. Jolly Roger, Tooth Fairy, Sparky-Sparky-Boom, and Ultimate Frisbee all took home victories. 
At the end of the night, as Zeke and Faith were getting ready to leave, Faith was scrolling on her phone and then paused with what looked to be a panicked expression all over her face. 
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked. Zeke was standing in the doorway, me at the base of the stairs, and Faith between us. 
“Um,” Faith said. “You’re trending on social media.”
“How’s that possible? I don’t have any social media accounts.”
“Well, um, someone tagged Zeke and I’s shared account with a photo that got posted,” she said. “And you’re in it.”
“What?” Zeke and I said simultaneously. 
She showed us, revealing a picture of Zeke and I leaving the Indian restaurant together that past Monday. Revealing me in all my trans glory to the entire internet without my consent. “Who the hell-”
“Olivia,” Zeke growled. 
“Let’s not jump to any conclusions,” Faith said. 
“Who tagged us in the photo?” Zeke said. 
“Let’s see here,” Faith said. “Who the heck is Eileen Portman?”
“Team Sparky-Sparky-Boom!” I said, grinding my teeth together. “They were at the restaurant on Monday night!”
“Goddammit,” Zeke said. 
“Okay, let’s not freak out,” Faith said. 
“Not freak out? Are you kidding me? This is the perfect time to freak out! That-that bitch! She’s my next opponent, she must have done this on purpose to rattle me! I’ll show her. I’ll crush her, I’ll-”
“Kate,” Zeke said. 
“What?!”
“You’re doing it again.”
“What do you mean?”
“It,” Faith said. “You’re doing it. Your hands are bunched together.”
I looked down, to see my hands had indeed balled into fists. “Oh.”
Zeke walked over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. “It’s okay. I know you’re upset. I know this feels awful. But you’re better than this. You don’t have to play the game on their terms.”
I looked up at this man, at my man, and the anger evaporated, replaced by a cool serenity and simple clarity. “You’re right. I still have a week to figure out my response. That’s plenty of time.”
“Exactly,” Zeke said. “You can get out in front of this.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Faith said. “Own your narrative. There’s got to be some way for you to respond to this without slipping back into your old persona.”
I breathed in deep through my nose. “I think I have one idea.”
***
I popped my first Estradiol pill when I woke up on Monday morning, letting the blue-green tablet melt under my tongue. It had a curious texture to it as it slowly dissolved, and I wanted to say it tasted like sugar, but it didn’t really taste like anything. I wanted to say I could feel it changing me right away, but that was ridiculous. What it did make me feel right away, though, was relief. And… Joy. A clean, pure joy that sang through my entire being, every fiber grateful as I took my first step towards changing my body to what I wanted it to be.
I was on my way, physically and mentally. 
Now for the hard part. 
I did my makeup, put on a blue and white sundress and a pair of strappy sandals, put in my four hours at the store, and then climbed in my car and headed to Gaines Auto Body and Bodybuilding. 
I’d emailed Gaines’ social media publicists, Nadine, on Saturday morning, and we’d set up a meeting for the following Monday. I parked in the back of the shop and made my way in through the front, conscious of the dozens of ridiculously buff guys staring at me as I walked through the gym. Some were staring at me with recognition and contempt, others with bemusement, others with confusion, and one or two with naked lust. I wasn’t really sure what to do with it all, so I just kept my head down and powered through. 
I reached the back of the gym and knocked on a closed door, and when it opened, a young black woman with long, luscious braids and bold makeup stood on the other side. She was tall and slender, and wore big, horn-rimmed glasses over her brown eyes. She wore an orange shawl over a light blue tank top and darker blue jeans, while red converse all-stars adorned her feet. A diamond engagement ring rested on her finger, shining proudly even in the cheap, artificial radiance of the overhead light. “Hi!” she exclaimed, effortless enthusiasm pouring out of her. 
“Uh… Hi!” I said, doing my best to match her immense energy. 
“You’re Katherine, right?” she said, opening the door wider and gesturing me into the office. 
“Uh, Kate, but yeah, that’s me,” I said. Her office was carpeted, with teal-painted walls and sleek metal desk in the corner. A bi pride flag hung over the wall, along with a framed copy of a college diploma from CSU Long Beach that read ‘Nadine Palmer.’
“So, I got your email, and first off, I wanna say, I am so, so sorry that happened to you,” Nadine said, gesturing to the bean bag chair that sat in front of her desk as she traipsed over to the regular chair on the other side. Seriously, what was with this place and weird seating arrangements?
I sat down in the bean bag chair, surprised by how soft and comfy it was. “Thank you. I… I gotta be honest, I have no idea what to do now. I’ve never really been a social media person, but I know I want a new image going forward.”
“Tired of the whole ‘macho bravado’ thing, I take it?” She said, offering me a sympathetic look. 
“Yeah, it, uh… Well, it served its purpose,” I said. “And now it doesn’t, anymore.”
“I completely understand. My fiance, Greg, went through the opposite version of it.”
“How do you mean?”
She looked at me for a second. 
“Oh, he’s-”
“Yes, exactly,” she said. “Used to have no idea how to stand up for himself, the poor man. But people can change.”
“Absolutely,” I nodded. 
“So, I think we should start by building an Insta profile for you, something that makes you seem friendly and approachable, and take it from there. Sounds good?”
“Sounds great!”
“More broadly, though, do you have any idea what kind of gimmick you’d like to go for?” Nadine asked. 
“I… I don’t know yet,” I said. “Do you think… For now, we could just focus on the bare bones stuff, get me ready for my first big public appearance as myself?”
“Totally fine,” Nadine said. “Mind if I ask you a personal, transition related question?”
“Yeah, go ahead.”
“Have you started HRT yet?”
“Just took the first pill this morning,” I said. 
“Good, good. Here’s my pitch then: transition timeline. One photo of you every week, dolled up and looking gorgeous like you are now,” Nadine said.
I smiled. 
“Then we compile the timeline while the hormones work their magic slowly.”
“I like this plan!” I said. 
“Thought you would. Once you’re further along, we can decide on a more specific gimmick for you going forward. For now, though, who’s ready for a photo shoot?”
I mustered up my best smile. “I am.”
“That’s the spirit!” she said. 
***
The shoot flew by faster than expected, and so did the rest of the week as I finished repairs on Polyphemus in preparation for my fight. The bot was finished, ready inside my truck, and I sat in the driver’s seat in the parking lot, that damn parking lot where so much had happened to me, clutching the steering wheel with my seatbelt still fastened and the door still locked. 
“You okay?” Zeke said from the passenger’s side. He’d ridden in with me, while Faith and my parents were meeting us there. Zeke was originally going to do the same, but… He’d offered to keep me company on the ride over, and my heart freaking sang when he did. He’d been at my side through so much of this… Part of me wondered if I really deserved him. Part of me wondered if Faith deserved him more. 
But he wanted to be with me. He’d said as much. Granted, we’d both agreed to keep our relationship on the down-low at work, at least for the time being, but still… That he was there with me, to help prop me up, was amazing. “I’ve… Been better. Nervous, mostly. But I’ll be fine. Got all my repairs done before the match, got my outfit already-”
“You look gorgeous, by the way,” he said, gesturing to my black skirt and pink hoodie combination.
“Oh, stop,” I said, smiling bashfully and playfully waving my hand at him.
“Hey, just being honest,” he said. “My girlfriend looks gorgeous, I’m gonna tell her as much.”
My jaw dropped, but my lips slowly curved upwards into a smile as his words sank in. We both sat there a moment, a change in the atmosphere between us making itself readily apparent. “D-did… Did you just use the g-word?”
“Heh. I think so,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. 
“I mean I just… We’ve been seeing each other pretty much nonstop for a few weeks now, we’ve made out a bunch of times, your dad even gave me the whole speech-”
“Yeah,” I said, warmth and giddiness exploding in me like a Fourth of July fireworks display. Girlfriend, I thought as euphoria and attraction swirled together. 
“If you’re not comfortable putting labels on it yet-”
I unbuckled my seatbelt, reached over, grabbed his face and kissed him. Our lips pressed together, his stubble scratching and tickling my carefully made-up face. I opened my mouth up further, pushing my tongue towards him, and after a nanosecond’s hesitation, he let it in. We Frenched for a few minutes, only the utmost willpower pulling me away from the magnetic connection that held the two of us together. I didn’t want to stop, but I knew if I didn’t, I’d be inviting him to tear off all my clothes. And putting aside the part where I wasn’t sure either of us were ready for that, it was a work night. 
“Okay,” I said, my voice breathy and girly, half-purr and half-whisper, my nose pressed against his. “I’m your girlfriend. You’re my boyfriend.” The euphoria and the giddiness tripled, quadrupled, quintupled. Everything felt clear and simple and right, as if I’d unlocked some higher sense of understanding myself and him and the both of us together. Of how we were more together than we were apart. 
“Okay,” he smiled. 
I kissed him one more time for luck, and said, “Let’s light this candle.”
Zeke helped me wheel Polyphemus into the arena. The first two fights of the evening had already gone down, and I handed my intro monologue card to the appropriate person. They read off my speech and introduced me, with Derek and Marty making note of a few adjustments I’d made. 
“Well, it seems this is a season of change, Derek,” Marty said into the microphone. “First Faith Watanabe, and now Kate Calloway as well.”
“Exciting times we live in, Marty,” Derek said. “Wonder what other surprises Team Polyphemus has in store for us tonight. 
“AND IN THE RED CORNER,” came the next monologue, roared to life by our glorious master of ceremonies, “This bot, is DA BOMB! It’s got an EXPLOSIVE PERSONALITY, and it’ll spin your head RIGHT ROUND RIGHT ROUND! It’s SPARKY-SPARKY-BOOM!”
Mr. and Mrs. Portman stood across from me, both clapping along to their own applause. Their bot was… An interesting design. 
A bomb. It looked like a big black bomb, mostly spherical, but with a rotating horizontal spinner consisting of a massive saw blade wrapped around it. The nub at the top of it looked like a wick but was, in reality, a spout that shot fire. 
Fire-breather against fire-breather it was. 
We were led into our respective boxes while our bots were wheeled onto the floor of the arena. “Hey there!” Mrs. Portman called out to me from her box, a smile I couldn’t decide on the veracity of gleaming across her face. Her husband, for his part, had adopted a smug smirk. 
“Hi,” I said awkwardly. 
“Good luck tonight!” 
“Thanks, you too,” I said, my voice dipping low.
“Oops, be careful about that voice,” Mrs. Portman said. “There’s cameras and microphones everywhere, you know.”
“Yeah, I picked up on that when you posted me on Insta without my consent,” I snapped. 
“Oh please, I did you a favor- you had no exposure on any socials, it was time you made your big high society debut,” Mrs. Portman said. 
White hot anger flashed inside me like a lightning bolt. “Lady, where the hell do you get off-”
“ROBOTS! ACTIVATE!” screamed the mechanical announcer. 
Mrs. Portman punched her button and then gave me a mocking wave. 
“We’re finishing this conversation later,” I said. 
“I sure hope we are!” she smiled. 
I grunted. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. I punched the button, and the bot battle began. 
The thing with horizontal spinners was that they had a built-in defense system, provided they didn’t take any major hits before they achieved full speed. Which meant there was a limited amount of time before my attacks would stop being as effective. Normally, a simple weapon like my katana would be able to jam the spinning blades before they could get to full power. 
But I hadn’t brought my katana that night. For tonight, I’d gone with a throwback and attached the ax Polyphemus. It would slow me down, but coming at this opponent from above made more sense to me than an attempted shot to the proverbial heart. 
Sparky-Sparky-Boom was faster than it looked- it came charging at me right out the gate, Mr. Portman stoic and stern as he piloted the bot. I didn’t move, didn’t even attempt to pivot. I just waited, waited, waited-
I slammed the trigger on my ax as SSB closed the gap, and my ax pile-drived into my opponent’s spinning hacksaw. Their weapon shattered, sliced down the middle and torn off its axis. 
“OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! KATE CALLOWAY HAS MADE A BRUTAL OPENING STATEMENT WITH A CRUSHING BLOW, DISABLING SPARKY-SPARKY-BOOM’S PRIMARY WEAPON WITH A SWING OF THE AX!” Marty screamed. 
“Nice shot, ‘girly,’” Mrs. Portman said, adding air quotes to the final word. Jerk. “Can you handle the heat, though?”
With that, her husband barrelled forward and rammed me the second I’d withdrawn my ax, pouring on the heat from its fire-spout as it used its greater weight to simply push me towards the screws. 
Dammit!
I slammed the trigger on my ax again, hoping to power it up quickly, all while trying to get myself out of SSB’s terrible momentum, but it none of my controls moved fast enough, and the next thing I knew I was shoved directly into the rotating screws as the blades took chunks out of Poly’s backside. Dammit! 
Ten seconds elapsed, and SSB was forced to back off. 
Mrs. Portman said something, with that smug grin plastered to her face as she worked the controls on her flamethrower, but I didn’t hear it. I didn’t care what it was. I couldn’t tell if she was being serious or if she was just playing the heel like I always had. And I didn’t care about that, either. I just knew I wanted to win. 
I flanked left around the bomb-shaped bot, taking advantage of its weight and slow turn time, bathing it in flames from both my flamethrowers while my ax got itself ready. SSB kept trying to turn, and I let myself slow down just an instant. 
SSB shot straight for me, and I pivoted Poly and brought the ax down on them again, slamming it directly into their flamethrower and setting loose a small explosion as a spark lit against the leaking fuel. I pried my ax free and went on the retreat, while SSB, wobbling on its axis, crawled towards me, hoping to ram me again. 
I tried the same trick again, but my ax wasn’t working- dammit, the fire must have disabled the controls! SSB rammed me, pushing me towards the rising kill saws in the center of the box, and all I could do was pour on the fire as the larger bot shoved me around like a ragdoll. 
I spewed fire, fire, fire, until finally, SSB started to smoke in all the wrong places and its engine gave off a sickly, wheezing, sputtering sound. It slowed down, slower, slower, slower. Half an inch from the kill saw behind it, Poly managed to stop SSB in its tracks, bringing the bomb-shaped bot to a halt entirely. 
Once the kill saws went down, I drove out of the way, and the countdown started as SSB found itself entirely stationary. 
“-3, 2, 1- that’s the fight!” the ref decreed as the alarm sounded and the crowd went wild. 
I was half-tempted to do my usual fist-pump, to scream and jeer, to make a big stupid macho display of myself… But I didn’t want that. So instead, I gave a simple curtsey and then ambled over to the interview. 
“So, Kate Calloway, two wins in a row, and this the first one as the new you,” Derek Benes said into the microphone. “Did everything go according to plan tonight?”
“Oh, there was no plan,” I admitted, scratching the back of my head and laughing awkwardly. “I’d never faced the Portmans before, I was mostly just winging it. Except for the ax, that was planned, but even then I had to improvise.”
“Anything to say to your upcoming opponents now that you have a winning record? The regular season is winding down, and you’re still gonna need another win to make it into the tournament.”
I looked for words within, looked for a version of my usual bullshit that wouldn’t give me dysphoria. Maybe… Maybe I should just try to do the opposite of what I would normally do. What was the worst that could happen?
“Just that I’m really looking forward to fighting each and every one of you,” I said with the sincerest smile I could muster. “May the best bot win!”
Derek bid me farewell, and I pulled the sledge carrying my bot into the pits. Half of the wires were fried, and the ax was gonna need sharpening, and I’d gone through a month’s worth of flamethrower fuel in the span of three minutes, but… But dammit, I’d won, and I hadn’t made an ass of myself for a change. I was proud of myself. 
It was a new feeling. 
“Hey there,” Mrs. Portman said as she walked up to me. 
Crap. This was gonna be difficult. 
“Hi,” I managed. 
“Good fight,” she said.  “It was.”
“Don’t think you’ll win a second time, though,” she said, that passive-aggressive smile never leaving her face. “I underestimated you tonight. It won’t happen again.”
“Well, hopefully you trying to dox someone on social media won’t happen again either,” I said, planting my feet and putting my hands on my hips.
“I’d hardly call what I did doxxing-”
“Maybe not, but I wouldn’t call it a good thing to do, either.”
“Oh please, I did you a favor.”
I scowled. “A favor? You call that a favor?”
“Yeah,” she said, folding her arms behind her back. “Forced your hand and made you think about how you present yourself, carry yourself. Given that you’ve clearly never spared a moment’s thought to that before this past week, I’d say I did you a favor.”
I gritted my teeth. Unbelievable; this jerk was trying to turn this around on me. I bunched my fists together, feeling the screams coming from deep within my belly. 
Then I felt a hand on my shoulder from behind. “I think what she’s trying to say is that she would have appreciated you asking her before you did something like that,” Zeke said, putting his arm around me and standing by my side. 
A fluttering joy sang through me as I stood with him, as he protected me, as he helped me protect the person I wanted to be. 
“Hm. Well, agree to disagree,” Mrs. Portman said as her husband came over and stood beside her. 
The four of us all glared at each other, until finally, I started laughing. The Portmans stared at me in confusion and irritation for a moment, and then Zeke started laughing too. The Portmans left while Zeke and I kept standing there laughing like idiots.
Faith approached us from the back entrance and said, “Uh, what are you two laughing about?”
“Oh, just how ridiculous this all is,” I said. 
“And how ridiculous those two are,” Zeke said. 
“And how ridiculous I am,” I said. 
“Hey now, come on, what did you say about being mean to yourself?”
I exhaled heavily. “That I’d do it less?”
“Yes, exactly. You won tonight, and you had a successful debut. We should celebrate.”
“Sounds great!” I said. I turned to Faith and said, “You wanna come with?”
She hesitated, but finally said, “No, I don’t think so.”
“Are you sure?” Zeke asked. 
“I’m sure,” she said, heading for the exit. “I’m gonna go home and get some sleep. You two have fun though!”
She smiled, and she waved, but as she left, I couldn’t help but notice the sadness in her eyes. 
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lesbian-deadpool · 4 years ago
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oooh! maybe r takes a photo of pregnant!nat holding her belly every month (unbeknownst to her) and then after the baby comes takes one of her holding them, gifting her a small album on the baby’s one month?
Okay, yes. This is so fucking cute.
First Month:
There's no chance to Natasha's body. Like you can't tell she's pregnant.
But you still snap a pic of her holding her belly, and smiling down at where she knows her child is growing insider of her, as she lounges on the couch.
Second Month:
Right. Now, there's more change here.
This picture is of Natasha resting in bed (dealing with morning sickness), hands encasing her, barely there, baby bump. All the while dozing off.
Third Month:
Now, Natasha's bump is way more noticeable than it was before. Not like, sticking out through her shirt noticeable, but still way more than the previous month.
You manage to take this picture one day without her noticing, as your sat at the kitchen island, and she is stood talking to Steve. Not even releasing that her hands were upon her stomach, and was caressing herself, and hopefully your child.
Fourth Month:
Okay, now we're getting somewhere!
It was like during the past month she had just popped, with how much of a change there was.
Natasha had her feet up on the coffee table, watching tv, all the while she stroked her bump with one hand, the other placed underneath it.
Fifth Month:
She just keeps getting bigger and bigger, just exploding over the months. And neither of you can deny how much you love watching your child grow.
This time the picture is of her at a team get together, not to be confused with a Stark party.
It was just turning summer, and the team decided to spend the day at the park.
Peter was distracting her, by showing her a new flip-trick while catching a Frisbee, he had just made up.
A bright smile upon the red-heads face as she watched the boy, hands still clasped protectively over her showing bump.
Sixth Month:
Natasha was is a shirt stolen from you in this photograph, which was really baggy on her. So baggy, in fact, that you could hardly tell she was pregnant.
But luckily she was laid on her side, across the bed, one hand on her stomach, the other flicking through the TV. Head resting upon your sleeping dogs back, using them as a pillow.
Seventh Month:
Summer was coming to an end, and on one of the last hot days of the season, everyone decided to chill out at the Stark's lake house.
Natasha was in a white bikini, sitting on the pier with her legs submerged into the water. Eyes closed and head thrown back, basking in the sun. One hand bracing herself behind her back, the other on top of her swollen belly.
Eighth Month:
"My mom wants an update picture." Was the half-lie you told. You still sent it to your mother. But she never asked for it, and it wasn't taken purely for her.
Natasha was smiling brightly into the camera. Two braids coming down either side of her neck, one hand underneath her belly, the other on the side. All while a half-eaten bowl of ice cream sat upon her stomach, as if it was a table.
Ninth Month:
Okay, this is the big one.
The final month.
It was bittersweet, to say the least.
Natasha was sad that she wouldn't be pregnant anymore, absolutely loving carrying your baby, watching- And hell feeling them grow inside of her. And happy, because she would be able to finally meet them... and also not be pregnant anymore.
There wasn't much that Natasha could do in her condition, at that time.
One thing she could do, was bake.
Over the past nine months, Natasha had been working hard on her baking skills. Now don't get me wrong, her cooking was still atrocious. But her baking? That was great.
The final picture of her pregnancy, was of her in a flour-covered apron, the white powder on the tip of her nose and wiped across her cheekbone. Having just managed to slide the tray of cookies into the oven. Taking a deep breath as she rose to her full height, hands on either side of her bump.
Thor bouncing behind you at the aspect of freshly baked sugary treats.
The Birth:
There were tears in her eyes as she looked down at her newborn child, an adoring smile on her face. All directed at the gunk covered baby, that was not even a minute old yet.
Mother and child, skin to skin, peering at each other.
One showing pure love.
The other showing 'Who-the-fuck-are-you?' confusion.
The First Week:
The first week was exhausting, but that much you were expecting anyway.
So, when you could, you took naps.
Which is how you snapped the photo of Natasha sleeping in bed, with your daughter by her side, also fast asleep.
One of Natasha's arms above the child, and the other resting on the baby's belly, indicating that, that was how she soothed the child to sleep.
The Second Week:
This picture was of your daughter laying on her lap, looking up at her red-headed mother.
Natasha smiling down at her baby, tiny hands wrapped around her fingers. Caressing the back of her child's hands with her thumbs.
The Third Week:
This was just basically a picture of her breastfeeding your daughter.
Their eyes connected as she rocked them both back and forth in the seat. Once again, holding her tiny hand.
The Fourth Week:
Clint had gifted you a set of hand puppets to entertain your child with, just randomly, a while ago. Where he got them? Nobody knows... where did he come from? Cotton Eyed Joe.
Natasha had one of them on and was talking to your child in a voice you would hear off of Sesame Street.
The baby wiggling excitedly, enjoying playtime with their mommy. The starts of a smile forming at the corners of her lips.
The Gift:
She cried.
From the moment she had opened the album, to the last picture inside, she had tears pouring from her eyes.
Natasha had no idea you had anything like this planned. She wouldn't let you go for hours after she had received the gift, flipping through it the whole time. Playfully grilling you on how you had managed to take these pictures without her knowledge. While you held your daughter, the three of you enjoying spending time together.
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phantastus · 3 years ago
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Stanley Coleman, Alessa and Kaufman for the bingo?
OH BOY ANON....
*rubs hands together*
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"obsessed with their character arc". For a character who literally never once appears onscreen and has very little solid information about them, I think Stanley is fucking fascinating. Of course, he has literally no stated backstory so THIS FASCINATION IS ADMITTEDLY BASED ON WHAT MADE THE MOST SENSE TO ME: that he is a former member of the Order who was iced out specifically because he got TOO creepy about Alessa for the rest of the cultists to handle. I think this is extra interesting because it adds another flavor of how individual Order members view Alessa/Heather, in addition to the viewpoints of Claudia/Vincent/Leonard which are addressed more directly. I know some people out there interpret him as like, idk, a creepy thing conjured up by the Otherworld that doesn't actually exist? But I think that "an actual flesh and blood human being who doesn't even care about the main plot but who is nonetheless stalking Heather around because he's the Order equivalent of someone who only goes to church because he has, like, erotic fantasies about being in love with but also mutilating Jesus" is so much scarier. I guess he doesn't really have an arc though unless you count his obvious buildup towards what was almost certainly going to be attacking Heather directly.
"constantly listening to songs/holding up like a paint swatch". HERE'S SOME STANLEY MUSIC, ENJOY: "Insect Eyes" (Devendra Banhart), "Only Heather" (Wild Nothing), "Days Without Paracetamol" (Snow Patrol), "Dreaming" (Bruno Coulais, Coraline OST), "#1 Crush" (Garbage), "Angel" (Massive Attack), "Movement of Fear" (Tweaker), "Whispers in the Dark" (Skillet), "Eat" (Force/Jarboe, The Path OST)
"I WANT TO STUDY THEM LIKE A COCKROACH". this speaks for itself honestly
"what's wrong with them (affectionate AND derogatory)". Affectionate because so me he is one of the scariest things in the series and therefore his presence in the narrative is a net positive. Derogatory because fuck him.
"I would never want to meet them". Stanley is the living personification of r/letsnotmeet.
"BITING AND KILLING AND MAIMING". BITING HIM BITING HIM RIPPING HIS FLESH FLINGING HIS BODY AROUND LIKE A DOG TOY
_______________________
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"everyone but me is wrong about them". I don't think this is necessarily true within the FANDOM but in terms of mainstream interpretations of the SH series it drives me batfuck insane that the most common take-away of Alessa is that she's insane and evil and somehow separate from/hateful towards Heather as a person. This is PROBABLY because of the movie but it's weird how many people literally think she's just the Scary Vengeful Child Ghost trope instead of like.... literally anything she actually does in canon.
"obsessed with their character arc". LOOK............ [gestures helplessly at every word I've ever written about Alessa, Cheryl, and Heather collectively].
"done dirty by the fans/creators". See answer no. 1, and I do feel that interpretation sometimes seems to seep into later series installments/spinoffs even if not directly. (Supposedly in an early pitch for Homecoming, Josh was supposed to become "like Alessa" but with water instead of fire, and they were going to have a telepathic Ghost Showdown against each other???). It's just weird to see a character who is like, explicitly sympathetic (the whole evil spirit thing was literally a fabrication made up by Dahlia to trick Harry into helping her) in the narrative get boiled down in interpretations/analysis to just be Cheryl's evil shadow self or something.
"ADOPTION PAPERS". IN EVERY SENSE EXCEPT PHYSICAL, I AM HARRY MASON. C'MERE KIDDO LET'S GO TOSS A FRISBEE AROUND. IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU I WILL KILL EVERYONE IN THE ROOM AND THEN MYSELF. (Harry wouldn't do that.)
"constantly going insane rotating them like a fork". See answer no. 2. I can't elaborate or this post will never get finished.
"constantly listening to songs". [eyes turn completely black, starts speaking in tongues]: "Firesuite" (Doves), "Till the Clouds Clear" (Lamb), "Where Did I Leave That Fire?" (Neko Case), "Laura Palmer" (Bastille), "GLM" (Thoushaltnot), "Ashes" (Promare OST), "Not As We" (Alanis Morissette), "Lilies" (Bat for Lashes), "Coming Back to Life" (Pink Floyd).
"they've never done anything wrong in their life". THE LAST TIME SHE HAD THE ABILITY TO DO ANYTHING BUT DESPERATELY SURVIVE, SHE WAS SEVEN. EVERYTHING AFTER THAT WAS FULLY JUSTIFIED.
___________________________________
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"wasted potential". This is really only because the storytelling in SH1 was limited by default-- he's closed off and mysterious and never really gets any kind of backstory outside of very small details. It would have been neat to see more about him. Instead I had to invent a whole-ass offscreen narrative about his shitty small-town drug empire.
"popular ships for this character suck". I GENUINELY DON'T THINK THERE ARE ANY POPULAR SHIPS LEFT but I know that at one point there was a lot of Kaufman/Harry around for seemingly no reason other than him being the only other shippable man in the game lmfao. I think a better ship is Harry's BOOT + Kaufman's ASS!!!!!!!
"constantly listening to music". Why yes I DO have a Michael Kaufman playlist folder! However upon scrutiny the only songs it truly needs are these three: "The Package" (A Perfect Circle), "Dogs" (Pink Floyd) (yes, all 17 minutes of it), "Give Us the Rope" (The Protomen).
“I WANT TO STUDY THEM LIKE A COCKROACH”. LOOK, HE’S INTERESTING IN MY IMAGINATION.
“I would never want to meet them”. He’s a fucking asshole.
"BITING AND KILLING AND MAIMING". GIVE. US. THE. ROPE.
______________________________
THANK YOU FOR WAITING AND ALSO FOR READING LITERALLY ANY OF THIS. I missed rambling about Silent Hill.
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alphaman99 · 3 years ago
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HOW I GREW UP
Alan R Brodd
I grew up in Millville Massachusetts and was raised by lower middle class parents during a time when most everyone treated each other with respect. We didn't eat fast food because it was considered a treat, not a food group. We drank Kool-Aid made from water that came from our kitchen sink with real sugar and Hi-C. We ate bologna sandwiches, PB&J & grilled cheese sandwiches, hot dogs, but mostly homemade meals consisting of mainly meat, potatoes, vegetables, bread, butter, and homemade dessert.
We grew up during a time when we mowed lawns, pulled weeds, babysat, helped neighbors with chores to be able to earn our own money.
We went outside a lot to play~Kick ball, football, basketball, fish, swim, ride bikes, frisbee, run with friends & played hide and seek. We drank tap water from the water hose outside... bottled water was unheard of. If we had a coke - it was in a glass bottle... and we didn’t break the bottle when finished…
We watched TV shows like Good Times, The Jefferson’s, Bonanza, Alf, Different Strokes, Full House, Leave It To Beaver, Flipper, Gilligan's Island, Happy Days, Bewitched, The Brady Bunch, The Rifleman, Zorro, Daniel Boone, Looney Tunes, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Sanford and Son, Dukes of Hazzard, WWF Wrestling, I Dream of Jeannie and I Love Lucy. After school, we came home and did homework and chores, before going outside or having friends over. We would ride our bikes for hours. We had to tell our parents where we were going, who we were going with, and be home when the street lights came on!
You LEARNED from your parents instead of disrespecting them, and treating them as if they knew absolutely nothing. What they said was LAW, and you did not question it, and you had better know it!!!
In school we said the Pledge of Allegiance, we stood for the National Anthem, and listened to our teachers.
We watched what we said around our elders because we knew if we DISRESPECTED any grown-up we would get our behinds whipped, it wasn't called abuse, it was called discipline! We held doors, carried groceries, and gave up our seat for an older person without being asked. You didn't hear curse words on the radio in songs or TV, and if you cursed and got caught you had a bar of soap stuck in your mouth.
“Please, Thank you, yes please, no thank you, yes ma'am, no ma'am yes sir, and no sir were part of our daily vocabulary!
You grew up to respect the Nation, and the flag.
Re-post if you're thankful for your childhood, I will never forget where I came from and only wish children now days had half the chance at the fun and respect for real life we grew up with!
The world we live in now is just so full of crooked people, hate and disrespect for others!
Those where the Days my friend!
Loved my childhood!
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undermattsun-archive · 4 years ago
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ushijima x fem!reader x kita | w.c 1.2k
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
a/n: omg ok so here’s my fic for the super cool + epic collab for my server ;)) i’m rlly nervous cus i’ve never written a. fic like this so pls don’t be mean!!!! but like pls leave a comment below <333 also don’t forget to follow me (or i’ll BITE U jk xD) omg omg ok and don’t forget to check out the other fics for this super epic hot collab <33333 right here kidnapped by hq !!!!!!
warnings: inane rambling, i literally did not proofread this i would take breaks and start again without checking what i wrote last so it’s defs not coherent
I was just ur every day kind of girl. Nothing special to anyone...not ev en myself. All i knew was wake up, brush my hair (and teeth obvi!!)  and go out and go to university and to my part time job as a waitress ina  diner where not a lot of people would go to. Anway today was one of those boring days, i woke up with my alarm blaring at 6:00 am because i have a class at 8:00 am… it’s my least favorite one too. But yeah so i got up super early and made myself apple cinnamon brown sugar oatmeal and black coffee bc i’m also kinda broke bc i ran away from home bc my parents were those snobby rich people and i didn’t wanty end up like that ya know? i put on a really simple outfit bc i was feeling lazy since i woke up late!
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(we need to bring back sillly bandz! they r so much fun!!) 
So i was walking to my early 8 oclock class all the way on the otherside of campus when suddenly ther e was a frisbee flying right at my face! I tried to dodge it but it still hit me right in the nose and i screamed so loud i didnt hear anything else but me screaming in really loud pain. 
“Are u ok??” i grab my nose in pain but it doesnt rlly feel broken or bleeding so i open my eyes that i didnt evern realized that i had close to see rlly gold eyes staring down at me. I scrunch up my eyebrows bc im confused bc he’s wearing overalls and a straw hat? Did i hit my head or something and am now seeing things?
“I’m ok do i know u?” i ask.. despite him looking weird in his farmer outfit he looked familiar so i had to ask.
“Sometimes i go to the diner u work at after im done at the farm bc there are good mochi waffles (a/n omg wait do they serve mochi waffles at dinners? I’ve only had it from  bakery xD)” he says with a really cool tone. I nod my head bc it makes sense. Before i can say thank you to him for asking how i am doing he grab my hand “please marry meand my cofarmer” 
“W-w-w-what??????” i yell my heart is pounding bc even though he is really super pretty i don’t eevn remember him ever being at the diner and like i remember a lot of my customers faces bc a lot of them come back a lot. 
“Marry us we will make u super happy pls it was love at first sight.” he says confidendtly (sp?) as he holds my hand tighter and tighter.
“I-i-i-i-i-i don’t even know ur name???” i whisper softly under my breath, “HOW can i marry u???”
“Shinsuke…..” a deep voice goes off behind me and i pull my hand out of his hand to look behind me, a big big BIG man stands there also wearing overalls and a straw hat and also a single wheat hanging from his kissable lips.
“Wakatoshi i have found the perfect housewife for us,, i have asked her to marry us.”
“But i’m just a normal girl from a normal world, how can i possible be apart of the world the two of you have made in the farm world?” the offer was amazing, the life of a housewife for these two perfect men that i’ve met by chance.
“She doesn’t havea choice the wedding is tonight ur marrying us.” the man who was called wakatoshi says with a very serious voice and facial expression. before i can ask hes suddenly pulling me to my feet and dragging me away.
“i have class!!” i say in protest as he continues to pull me towards a green tractor.
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“you don’t need education…do you know how to sweep and cook eggs? and maybe make butter?” shinsuke asks following behind as wakatoshi pulls me onto the tractor.
“of course i can make eggs! but why butter?”
“we live on a farm darlin’ ya gotta know how to make butter.” shinsuke says and i nod my head. it makes sense.
“i can’t just leave my life behind tho i’ve gotten this far all by myself” i sigh even tho i’m comfortably sitting in wakatoshis lap i can’t let myself fall victim to their charms!!! i’m independent !!!
“give it up already your ours now…..” wakatoshi says seriously. i pout. he can’t just talk to me like that. i’m not a kid! i go to unverisity and have a job!!! 
“it’s too late ur already wearing the engagement ring” i look down at my hand and gasp to see a beautiful ring on my finger.
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“this cant be real?” i shake my head my head.
“we already have your dress and the venue ready.”
“what?” the big grrrn tractor pulls up to a really pretty outdoor wedding venue. my jaw drops to see my entire family, even my parents waiting.
“go in there” wakatoshi points at a tent and i nod. i walk over and am immediately being changed by two guys who look the same?
“don’t worry we r gay.”
“and twins.”
“but not gay for each other bc that’d be illegal or something  and the author would get Cancelled™” it makes sense. i turn and look in the mirror and i gasp. i look beautiful. i may be an average girl but in this moment my velvet chestnut locks are curled to perfect perfection and the makeup isn’t too much or too little. these gay twins sure worked their magic!
i step out of the tent and look down the aisle to see my two farmer husbands looking handsome as ever (here’s what we look like teehee xD i know we look super cute!!) 
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“y/n, im sorry me and ur moms bitchy richness made u run away but please let me walk u down the aisle on ur wedding day.”
“hello my name is agayshi and i am also gay, and here to officiate your wedding.”
“wait ur gay too?”
“yeah i’m married to that guy over there in the wacky inflatable cars salesman suit but we’re both respectively fucjing one of those gay twins. any way. do you y/n y/m/n y/l/n take shinsuke canonical rice farmer and ushijima farmer au to be your lawfully wedded husbands?”
“i-“ i look between the two men. my dream wedding. my dream men. i look around at all my friends and family. i nod.
“yeah i do.”
“congrats you may kiss the bride” at the same time wakatoshi and shinsuke grab my head and manage to mash all 3 of our mouths together.
i’m just so happy.
….or so i thought.
i woke up, it all turned out to be a dream </3
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
(a/n: hey everyone sorry for the sad ending but like...r there rlly happy endings in real life?? soz i just think we need to get more realistic w our fanfics </3)
like. comment. subscribe for more awesomesauce fics like this ;) !!! 
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littlemissagrafina · 4 years ago
Text
Cuz if I don't leave this town, I might never make it out
Read on AO3
When Peter was younger, he had loved New York, the house he lived in with his family in Queens, and his Aunt and Uncle’s apartment.
They were his home, the city was his home, and he couldn't have ever imagined being anywhere else. He was happy, and he was content.
And then his parents died and he lost a piece of his home, of his content and happiness. But he was lucky. He still had family, he still had his Ben and his May.
For a few years, that was okay. Peter was okay. His home was a bit less full and happy, but he had May and Ben. They'd been getting their contentment back but here was a bad time in the middle of the good that had been growing. 
It's name was Steven 'Skip' Westcott. Peter couldn't remember who that was, but he never wanted to if the wrenching emotions that swirled in his stomach whenever the name was said was any indication.
Peter couldn’t remember, but he didn't want or need to, to know that another piece of happy had been taken from his home. The city no longer felt as wondrous as it used to. The bad parts had become a bit more visible, now.
They stood out even more after Peter and May lost Ben. The good and bad of Queens and New York, of his home, balanced perfectly together.
That was when Spider-Man was born and the city started dipping more between the bad side and the good side with each patrol that Peter went out on.
With each cry for help, each gunshot, crash, gleaming knife, grieving wail, and flying fist, the bad became worse.
But with those also came the thank-you's, the smiles, cheers, laughter, celebration, and hugs, the things that made the good evident.
Peter would never forget the first time that he spoke to Tony about the exhaustion that being between those things brought. His mentor just smiled at him, something soft and sad and filled with understanding.
"There's a fine line between love and hate, Peter. Those standing on it, wish for the love, but can't help but see the hate."
Both of those things disappeared along with Peter when Thanos came.
---
Coming back from the dead was harder for some than for others.
For Peter, he wasn't sure if he had been Dead or just Gone. He only knew that he hadn't been Anywhere at all.
He wondered if some of him had been left behind when he was brought back from Wherever he had been.
Coming back for him had been both the easiest and the hardest. There were a million and one knew things, but also a million and one old things. Things Peter knew, and things he had yet to still discover. So many differences.
There were even some old things that had new things mixed in with them. It was confusing.
One of those old and new mixed things was his city and his home. 
Sitting on the rooftop of his and May's apartment that Tony had somehow kept in the time they were Gone, Peter looked out over the city and realised that he didn't see the good and the bad anymore.
Instead it was all grey and wrong and bad. He struggled to see the good, looking for the laughter and celebration and happiness but only found wrongness. A strangeness and disconnect.
If this was home, then Peter no longer wanted to be here.
What was once big and wondrous, and bustling, now felt suffocating, dreary, and stuck.
Peter hated it and himself for feeling that way. It was his home, he was meant to love it and feel comfortable and content. He shouldn't want to run away without a second thought and never return.
It felt like all of the good and love it had held before had been taken away. Left behind in the Nowhere.
---
Peter tried to ignore it. The differences he felt in himself and in his home.
He went out to school, visited May at work, Tony and Pepper and Morgan at the lake house, spent time with his family (which, wow, he had that again). He had even made friends with Harley Keener when Tony had moved the teen and his family up to New York. He went out on his patrols, had lab days with Tony, and spent countless days with Ned, Harley, and MJ.
Slowly, Peter built up a routine of it all. And it helped him. It kept him busy and occupied and in turn kept him from getting caught up in wanting to leave and just run.
It came tumbling down after he graduated. The differences became glaring and bright once again.
With no classes or homework occupying his days, Peter started patrolling more and spending more time around the city as Spider-Man.
It wasn't so bad in the beginning, it almost felt freeing to be able to go out at whatever time he wanted, but as the summer went along, it started putting a strain on him.
Ned and MJ were busy preparing to leave for college, Harley was finishing up his highschool internship in the R&D labs, and Peter wasn't going anywhere, having decided to take a gap year before going off to college himself.
He was stuck here and it was starting to get to him again, just like when he'd first come back from Nowhere.
The walls of his and May's apartment were too much. It was all the same yet everything was different. Nothing had changed yet everything had.
The lab wasn't enough to keep him stimulated, his inspiration for any tinkering or inventing was nonexistent.
His motivation to patrol and spend time in the suit dwindled to almost nothing, and when he did go out, he was continually reminded of the things he had seen, done, and stopped. He was reminded of things that had happened in the past
A robbery on 6th made him think of Ben.
Assault in a back alley brought Skip back to light.
A little girl and her parents looking for her lost teddy bear was Peter and his own late parents looking for his plushie when he was younger.
A frisbee in a nearby park was a shield.
A firework one night was the plane and Vulture on the beach.
Over and over his patrols brought up more and more things he would rather forget, until eventually he didn't want to go out anymore. 
Until, to his horror, Peter became bitter towards his home. He loved it, he did. It was a part of him. He'd been born there, raised there, lost and found family there.
But that wasn't enough anymore. There was an aching need in his chest to just leave. To go somewhere far away and just be himself without the city influencing him, and without the influence of his family and of Spider-Man.
He couldn't go, though. May was here, Tony, Pepper, and Morgan were here. Harley was here. Ned and MJ too when they would be home from college.
Peter had responsibilities as a nephew, pseudo son, and Spider-Man that, as much as he wanted to, he couldn't ignore.
So he tried to suck it up and do what he had to do. Go on in silence.
---
Peter sat on a couch in the tower penthouse, Tony and May across from him on another.
He'd known that Tony and May had noticed he was difficult, but he didn't know how to assure them that he was fine and happy and okay when he was so far from it.
Peter rubbed the palms of his hands over his jeans, resting his elbows on his knees and looking up at his aunt and dad from under his curly, almost-fringe. "I don't know what you guys expect from me." 
"We don't expect anything from you, Roo. All we want is for you to be okay. We've seen that you've been struggling for a while now." Tony trailed off slightly, looking almost unsure of himself, and May continued speaking.
"We thought we'd let you have the time you obviously needed to yourself after everything, and for a while it seemed like it was working. It isn't anymore, is it" May phrased it like a question but Peter knew that it wasn't.
He sighed, and shook his head. "No, it isn't. It's not like I can change anything, though, I just have to suck it up."
Tony's eyes narrowed. "And why can't it be changed, huh? Kid, if you talk to us, actually talk, we can figure–"
"Tell you about what, Tony?" Peter snapped, irritation flaring up out of nowhere; his head whipping up to stare at them with eyes filled with a pained desperation that neither Tony or May had been aware was so strong.
Peter carried on, the strength to keep his feelings tucked away finally failing him. "Tell you what? That I hate it here as much as I love it, that I don't want to be here, that I'm depressed and anxious all the time, that I can't patrol because I see every bad thing that's happened to me each time I do, or that I see the good things too?"
He stood up from the couch, moving to pace between it and the ceiling to floor windows, voice rising with his emotions. "What about that fact that I feel left behind seeing everyone move on and go to college and grow and form lives all the whole I'm stuck I the fucking past and present all that time. Or should I tell you about wanting to be back in the Nowhere because at least it was quiet and peaceful and I didn't have to deal with any of this there?"
"How the fuck am I supposed to tell you all that and expect you to understand or even for it to make any difference at all. None of that changes anything, anyway." His voice had faded to a whisper by the end.
A hand rested on his shoulder, turning him gently. Peter met May's eye's, her expression a strange mix of sadness and determination. 
"And why doesn't it change anything?" She asked him. "Why can't you just go, get away and find some peace for the first time in your life?"
Petter huffed out a breath, "Because I have responsibilities, May! I can't just leave them! I have school next year, Spider-Man, and you guys–"
"So?" Tony said, coming to stand by them. "Peter, none of those are worth your happiness and wellbeing. School can wait, Spider-Man isn't the only vigilante around anymore, and I can guarantee that all of us, as your family, would understand and want you to be able to find your freedom and happiness."
"He's right, you know." The three of them looked over at the doorway to the living room.
"If it's forcing you to stay somewhere you're not happy, or letting you go to wherever you might find that happiness, I know which I would choose." Harley said as he stepped into the room.
He closed the distance and gave Peter a crooked smile as he stopped in front of him. "Spoiler alert, it's always the second one."
Harley's smile dropped quickly, a seriousness enveloping him. "For real, Darlin', all of us want you to be okay."
Peter shook his head weakly, looking between three of the people who cared most for him. "But–" He started to say before he was cut off once again.
"But what? We've already said you can." Tony said.
"Because I shouldn't! I can't just run away from my problems like that." Peter protested, trying to explain that he couldn't leave, despite not really knowing why he couldn't himself.
Harley poked him in the shoulder, ignoring his boyfriend's indignant huff. "No, bad spider. Stop it." When Peter looked like he was going to interrupt, Harley shushed him. "Nope. I'm about to say really wise words of boyfriend wisdom. Don't interrupt the magic."
"If it were me wanting to leave, would you call it running away from my problems?"
Peter immediately shook his head. "No! Of course not!"
Harley looked at him smugly. "So then why is it running away when it's you, huh? Why is it any different if it was me and not you?"
Peter floundered, clearly trying to think up an argument. After a few seconds, his shoulders dropped and he sighed. "I don't know." He muttered 
 "I still don't know how I'd just go, anyway. I'd need to get money for plane tickets, I'd need passports, visa's, and whatever the hell else you need when you travel and–"
He was interrupted for what felt like the thousandth time. Which, rude.
"And I would get you all of that, Peter." Tony said in a way that gave Peter no doubt that he would.
May stepped closer to him, and cradled his face gently in her hands. "Peter, baby. You need this. Please accept our help. Let yourself need a hero instead of being the hero for everyone else." 
Peter nodded. "Okay." 
"Yeah?" Tony and May asked at the same time. 
"Yeah. I'll do it."
May pulled him into a hug, one hand running through his curls and cupping his head as if he was a small child again. 
Harley and Tony both smiled at him.
"Let's do this."
---
"You good?" Harley asked Peter, slipping his hand into his as they walked over soft sands, waves crashing next to them.
Peter was silent as they walked on, only speaking when they slowed to a stop and turned to look out at the vast, crystal waters before them.
He shook his head.
"I'm not okay. But I want to be."
He turned and smiled at Harley, the setting sun lighting his eyes in glowing honey shades.
"I will be."
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cocastyle · 5 years ago
Text
Robin — THREE
Pairing - Joel Dawson x reader
Word Count - 4,800
A/N - another update for you all! I just wanted to thank everyone for the feedback I have received on this series already! I love seeing people get excited for my writing snd it literally makes my day!
if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!
R O B I N
Robin Series Masterlist
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⭒❃.✮:▹ THREE   ◃:✮.❃⭒
There was something different about letting her feet hit the soil under the circumstances she was currently in. Y/N was used to coming out every once and a while with the hunting team, but this. . .this was different. She wasn't about to stay near by and hurry back to the bunker before the hour was up. No, she was free. She could go wherever she wanted. She could go beyond the 'walls' that the hunting team had established.
And there was no better feeling than knowing all of that.
Y/N looked around with a soft smile playing at her features, closing her eyes for a moment to soak in the sunlight before opening them again and letting out a sigh of content. She turned to Joel after that, her smile only growing at the sight of the boy taking in his surroundings.
The girl had almost forgotten that her best friend hadn't stepped foot on the surface in seven years. Joel looked around as if he couldn't believe he was actually outside and Y/N chuckled softly as she watched him inhale deeply through his nose, his face all scrunched up in a way that she could only find adorable.
Joel's eyes shot open at her laughter, playfully glaring at the girl who just smiled before gesturing towards the map in his hands. "Where to, boss?" Y/N asked.
Joel stared at her for a moment, smiling softly at the way her eyes were squinted in his direction, her hand attempting to shadow her eyes from the sun. The boy cleared his throat and looked away, his hands fumbling with the map which he quickly opened.
Y/N walked over to his side, her arm resting against his shoulder while the two both looked at the paper with looks of concentration. "Where are we?" Joel muttered, his eyes flickering over the map confused. "Well, it's not super useful."
"Don't say that. Look right there. It says avoid that area because our lives depend on it. That's useful," Y/N tried to argue. "Besides, it's the best we could do with such little time since someone decided within a span of five minutes he was leaving the bunker for the first time in seven years."
Joel shot her a look and the girl just winked at him. Letting out a small sigh, Joel began to fold up the map before saying, "You've gone on hunting trips before. Which way should we go?"
Y/N was silent for a moment as she looked around, her finger gently tapping against her lips while she surveyed the area. Finally, she looked to Joel, the boy responding with a smile for they were finally going to start on their journey. However, it quickly disappeared as she said, "I have no clue."
"What? Robin," Joel complained.
"Joel," Y/N mimicked while the boy sighed and scratched his head.
"How do you not know? You've been out here plenty of times," Joel pointed out.
"Yeah, but Connor was always the one with the compass," Y/N explained, her voice softening a bit at the mention of her friend before she hardened and looked up at the boy. "And seeing as that compass is in a decapitated monster's stomach, I don't think I'm going to be very useful."
Joel sighed before looking around again, nervously biting his lip as he tried to decide which way was the best to go. "Okay, well, you know what? We know we gotta head west, right? Well, let's just. . .do that," Joel muttered.
"Wow. I never would've thought of that one," Y/N snorted earning a small glare from the boy.
"I could really go for some non-sarcastic advice right about now," Joel told her while the girl chuckled. "Come on, Robin. Which way should we go?"
"I'm telling you, Joel, I have no idea. Just chose a direction and we'll go with that, okay? I'll follow you whenever you go," she assured him, her words making him still for a moment before he let out a shaky breath and looked around.
"Start with something easy," Joel muttered before finally gesturing one way. "West," he declared before beginning to walk that way, Y/N trotting along behind him.
However, they didn't go every far before Joel was turning on his feet, his hands grabbing ahold of Y/N’s shoulders to turn her around and push her back in the other direction. "Nope, it's this way," he said. "West is this way."
Once again, they didn't get far before Joel let out a sigh and came to a stop. Y/N stopped as well and looked to her best friend as he glanced around. "Shit," he muttered making the girl laugh. Joel glanced her way and the sight of her smile mixed with the sound of her laughter was enough to make him chuckle too.
"Shut up," Joel laughed, gently punching the girl's arm while she just smiled his way. His heart skipped a beat at the action and Joel had to look away, his smile not as bright but still gracing his face. "Split the difference," he finally decided as he gestured forward. "We'll go this way. Done. First decision made."
Y/N cracked her neck before hopping into place beside Joel. The boy looked to her in amusement and she just flashed him that smile of hers.
"Let's do this."
- - -
Dear Aimee,
I am doing it. I'm really doing it!
Honestly, I thought it'd be way worse too. So far, it's not too bad.
Robin makes it easy. She fills the silence with some stories of past hunting trips she's been on. Not really what I want to hear while walking through the very place that holds all the monsters she's talking about. But it's kind of impossible not to get lost in the way she tells a story. She just gets so excited and there's this sparkle in her eyes that makes you want to listen to her talk forever.
We've seen a lot of signs of death, but no actual death, so cross your fingers.
Trying to stay positive. Weather's nice. Getting some fresh air. Spending time with my best friend.
What else can I tell ya?
- - -
"You should've seen the look on Tim's face," Y/N told the boy, her body shaking with laughter as she flashed a smile Joel's way. "But how was I supposed to know that cutting off the monster's head would make bile shoot out of the hole and onto him?"
"Gross," Joel laughed, shaking his head at the girl who just chuckled at the memory. "That's why Tim came back one day and showered for like an hour."
"Yeah. And then everyone got mad at him because he was using so much water," Y/N said earning another round of laughter from the two as they walked through a bus graveyard they had stumbled upon a few minutes prior.
A comfortable silence fell among the two at that point, small smiles still on their faces as they walked through the tall grass and looked around. "Oh," Joel muttered, his arm shooting out and in front of the girl as he slowly backed away from one of the buses. "Watch out. Monster eggs."
Y/N looked at what he was talking about and grimaced before looking around them. "Where do you think the monsters that came out of those eggs went?" she questioned, continuing to glance around while Joel went behind her and began to push her forward.
"I don't really plan on sticking around to find out," Joel admitted, pushing the girl the rest of the way out of the bus graveyard before joining her by her side once again as they approached what seemed to be the remnants of an old neighborhood.
"I wonder what our houses look like now," Y/N muttered, her gaze on the house in front of them that was overrun with vines and other greenery. "You think our things are still there?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe," Joel said, but his gaze was on the ground where he could see something red sticking up off the grass. He bent down to pick the object up, a small smile appearing on his face as he wiped off the grass and realized that the object was a frisbee. "Cool," he muttered causing the girl to look his way. His eyes flickered over the faded lettering as he whispered, "Wham-O."
The words had no sooner left his mouth before the familiar screeching of a monster filled the air. Y/N reacted without hesitation, her hands flying up to grab her katanas which she had by her side within a second.
"No," Joel whispered, the disappointment of already running into a monster after not even a full day on the road almost as strong as his nerves. He subconsciously took a step closer to Y/N who was still holding her katanas up in the air, her eyes narrowed as she surveyed the area.
"We should find somewhere to take cover," Y/N finally said after realizing the monster wasn't as close as she had initially thought.
"Run and hide," Joel remembered, nodding his head slightly. He looked around for a moment before gesturing towards the house. "Hide in the house. Hide in the house."
Y/N stuffed her katanas back into their sheaths before grabbing ahold of Joel's hand. "Come on," she whispered, dragging the boy forward while he quickly stuffed the frisbee into his backpack.
They hurried to the house as quickly and as quietly as possible, only letting go of each other's hand once they reached the door that was wide open. Knowing there wasn't much room to work with the katanas inside, Y/N reached for her crossbow instead. Joel did the same and the two shared a look before slowly creeping inside.
Y/N moved towards the kitchen, her crossbow up as she looked around. Joel was behind her and she didn't pay attention to him until she heard him begin to open something up. Furrowing her eyebrows, she turned around in time to see him opening up a fridge.
A loud screech filled the air and Joel slammed the door shut before backing up as quick as possible, Y/N moving to his side with her crossbow aimed at the fridge. She momentarily glanced towards Joe who gave her a nervous smile before whispering, "I think the food's expired."
Y/N rolled her eyes at that, but her lips tugged up slightly in amusement before she slowly nudged the boy out of the kitchen. Once they were out, the two took off towards the back door and into the backyard.
They both hesitated in the middle of the yard while looking to the house to see if the monster had ended up following them. Luckily, it didn't seem to have left the fridge, so Y/N let out a small sigh of relief and returned her crossbow to the hook on her backpack.
"Pro tip about surviving monsters," Y/N began, glancing towards Joel who looked her way. "Never look in a place they could be hiding."
"But that was a refrigerator," Joel argued, his eyes wide.
"Especially refrigerators," Y/N retorted before turning and beginning to walk away. Joel stood there dumbfounded as she left, trying to process why refrigerators would be such a big hiding spot for monsters.
A bubbling sound seemed to snap the boy out of his thoughts and he furrowed his eyebrows before glancing to his left and at a small pond. He could see small bubbles rising from one area and he let out a shaky breath before whispering, "R-Robin?"
"Yes, Joel?" Y/N asked, turning to look back, but she froze at the sight of Joel staring at the pond where not one, not two, but three eyes had popped out of the water to stare at him.
The two were frozen in place as a monster began to emerge from the water. It looked as if it were the mutation of a frog, it's body similar to the amphibian, just larger, grosser and with more eyes.
"Joel," Y/N whispered, reaching up to grab her crossbow. "Back up."
The boy didn't respond, a look of stunned terror on his face as he slowly reached for his crossbow as well. His eyes were filled with tears as he looked at the monster, his throat constricting at the thought of this already being the end.
"Joel," Y/N insisted, but it was too late. The monster's tongue was already shooting towards the boy, but something flew across the air and knocked him out of the way just in time.
Y/N didn't have time to look at what jumped at Joel and reacted quickly, pulling her crossbow out as fast as she possibly could and firing at the monster without hesitation. The arrow managed to land in one of the monster's eyes and it let out a roar that made both Joel and Y/N’s eyes widen in response.
"I think you made it mad!" Joel yelled causing the girl to look his way for the first time. She faltered slightly at the sight of a dog standing atop his chest.
"Is that. . .a dog?" she questioned, her eyes wide with shock.
"Robin!" Joel exclaimed, his voice bringing her back to reality in time for her to dodge the tongue attack that was now being thrown in her direction. The dog ran towards the monster without hesitation, putting itself between Y/N and the creature as it barked.
Joel was on his feet in an instant and attempted to run towards the girl who was trying to pull herself up onto her feet after having the air knocked from her lungs. However, he didn't get far before he was thrown against the wall by a hit from the monster's tongue. He landed with a loud groan, but quickly sat up as he felt something grab ahold of his leg.
"No! No, no, no. No!" Joel cried out as he recognized the tongue of the monster which had wrapped around his ankle. He felt a small tug and began sliding across the ground, a yell escaping his lips as he began picking up speed. He was just about to reach the fallen tree in the yard when he felt a hand grab ahold of his own. Joel's eyes flew upward and he yelled out, "Y/N!"
Y/N had her jaw clenched in concentration, her hand holding on tightly to Joel's as she propped her feet against the tree trunk in order to keep them in place. They could hear the dog barking in the background, but it sounded muffled over the sound of their beating hearts and their own voices.
"Robin," Joel cried, his eyes filling with tears as he brought his other hand up to desperately latch onto hers.
"I gotcha," Y/N assured him. "You're okay." However, it seemed she spoke too soon because the edge of the trunk broke and Y/N suddenly fell forward, the two now sliding across the ground together but with some resistance since the girl was clawing at the ground.
She managed to hook her hand into a small hole in the ground and glanced back at Joel who was yelling in fear before she attempted to look around. Y/N’s eyes landed on the dog that was still barking at the creature and then she looked at the monster before letting out a sigh.
"Joel, you gotta trust me on this, okay?" Y/N asked, her words making the boy look up at her confused.
"Trust you on what?" he replied, but then she was letting go of his hand and Joel began screaming as he reached for the fallen tree.
Y/N rolled up onto her feet before pulling her katanas out of their sheaths. She ran past Joel who was still sliding across the ground towards the monster and ran at the monster at full speed.
The dog must've realized she was attacking because it ran to Joel and bit into the monster's tongue right as Y/N launched herself into the air and sliced the katanas across the monster's face. The monster roared in pain and anger, it's head thrashing to the side and hitting Y/N with so much force that she went flying towards the fence.
However, during the monster's pain and anger, it had managed to let go of Joel who scrambled to his feet. He ran over to Y/N and was quick to help her up, the girl wincing slightly and shoving her katanas back into their sheaths before shaking off the pain once she noticed the monster attempting to pull its way out of the water.
"We need to go!" Joel exclaimed, his arm wrapping around Y/N before the two ran through the hole in the fence and after the dog. They managed to make it through the hole moments before the monster went crashing through the fence and Joel held onto Y/N tighter as they ran, both of their breathing ragged as they followed the dog to who knows where.
"Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Joel yelled after the dog who continued to pick up his speed. "Where are you going?"
"He's not going to answer you!" Y/N yelled before watching as the dog ran into an old bus. "There!"
Joel followed her gaze and was quick to pull her that direction, his arm still wrapped around her waist all the way there before he shoved her through the door first and hurried in after her.
The dog closed the door right behind them and Joel looked at the dog impressed as he whispered, "Whoa. Whoa, that was so cool."
They could hear the faint sound of the monster growing further away and it was only when it was gone that they finally moved. Letting out a small sigh of relief, Y/N leaned back against Joel who wrapped an arm around her shoulders and let his head rest against her own.
"We're alive," he whispered.
"Barely," Y/N muttered, the two letting out shaky breaths as they attempted to slow their breathing down.
Once they had managed to calm down some, the two let go of each other and looked down at the dog. Furrowing her eyebrows, Y/N took a step forward and looked around. Inside the bus was a makeshift home of sorts, complete with a bed for both a person and the dog, clothes, some belongings, and numerous crafts lining the inside as if someone had spent the last seven years making nothing but decorations.
"Nice place," Joel commented, looking to the dog who was now laying on his bed. "Can we sit?" The dog glanced at him and Joel looked to Y/N who shrugged. The boy watched the dog hesitantly and made a move to sit down. When the animal didn't show any sign of disagreement, Joel fully sat down. "Thanks."
Y/N walked over as well, but she kneeled down in front of the dog who looked to her with big round eyes. "Hey there, buddy," she whispered, carefully holding her hand out. The dog looked to her hand and leaned forward, sniffing her fingers for a second before licking them. Smiling, Y/N reached forward and let her fingers brush through the dog's hair. "Thank you for saving us back there. Where did you come from, huh? You got a master coming back soon?"
"Robin," Joel whispered. The girl hummed in response and looked his way only to find the boy pointing towards some dishes that looked as if they hadn't been cleaned in a really long time. Y/N instantly put two and two together before looking back at the dog who was leaning into her touch as she scratched behind his ears.
"You all alone?" Joel asked, his eyes flickering over the dog before finally looking at Y/N who he couldn't help but smile at as he watched her interact with the animal.
The dog leaned back at Joel's words and Y/N sighed before standing up and sitting down beside Joel on the bed. "Yeah, us too. I mean, we have each other, but. . .you get what I mean," Joel explained while Y/N smiled softly and placed a hand on top of the boy's.
Joel smiled back and flipped his hand over in order to hold her hand and give it a small squeeze. Feeling content with the comfort his best friend provided him, Joel began to look around until his eyes landed on some graffiti on the bus that read 'Boy.'
"Boy?" he questioned, the name instantly making the dog sit up. Joel and Y/N both shared a look before Joel looked back to the dog. "Is that your name? Boy? Your name is Boy." The dog continued to look at him and Y/N smiled softly as she leaned against Joel.
"I'm Y/N," she said. "But this one right here calls me Robin."
"And I'm Joel," the boy spoke up. "But people call me Batman."
"They do not," Y/N snorted making the boy pout.
"No one calls you Robin," Joel tried to argue.
"You call me Robin," Y/N pointed out.
Knowing he was defeated, Joel looked back to Boy before nodding at the dog. "Nice to meet ya," he said. "Like Robin said earlier. . .thanks, uh. . .thanks for saving my life, Boy."
Boy lowered his head and Y/N just watched the dog with a small smile while Joel used his free hand to pick up a red dress that was lying on the makeshift bed. "Is this a dress?" he asked. However, the words had barely left his mouth before Boy was up and pulling the dress from his grasp.
"Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Sorry," Joel said as Boy ripped the dress away and laid back down on his bed with the dress next to him. "Okay, I won't touch it again."
Y/N let her eyes flicker over Boy, frowning slightly as she realized the dress must've belonged to his owner. Thinking the same thing, Joel asked, "Was that your owner's?"
Boy didn't move and Joel glanced towards Y/N. "It's okay," Joel assured the dog. "You don't have to talk about it. Sorry."
"Did you. . .did you think one of us was her?" Y/N asked, thinking back to the way the dog had grown so protective of them. Boy didn't look at them, but he didn't have to. Y/N was pretty sure he had thought one of them was his owner coming back to him.
"I'm gonna lie down too," Joel said, letting go of Y/N’s hand to pull his backpack off. "Is that o—" The dog looked his way and Joel slowed his actions down. "No, it's okay. Just my backpack." Boy laid back down and Joel let out a small sigh as he set the backpack down. However, he paused as he glanced towards Y/N and it registered in his head that there was only one bed.
"I forgot there's only one bed. Here, you take the bed," Joel told her, already beginning to get up. "I'll just lay on the ground."
Y/N rolled her eyes and reached up to grab the boy's wrist. Joel hesitated and looked back at her while she just gave him a small smile. "We've been best friends for years, Joel. Just shut up and lay down with me," she told him. "Don't worry. I won't bite."
Y/N then gave him a small wink and stood up to take off her backpack and katanas, not noticing the way Joel's cheeks reddened slightly. Although, he wasn't completely sure why that was happening either.
With the bed obviously only being made for one person, the two both had to lay on their side. Joel got on first and leaned all the way back against the far side before opening up his arms. Y/N got in next and laid beside him, the boy freezing as she laid down before he put his arm down at his side not daring to hold the girl like he found himself wanting to.
Y/N was glad Joel couldn't see her face for she was sure she had a slight frown on her face at the fact that he hadn't even wanted to hold her. However, her thoughts were pushed aside as she felt the boy gently nudge her before pointing towards the ceiling where they could see a stuffed dog and girl pinned up next to each other.
"You know," Joel said, glancing over at Boy, "I had a girl, too, once. I mean, I have Y/N, but I'm talking about a different girl. Think you would've really liked her. Yeah, you guys would totally get along. She—She loves dogs. I mean, all animals. She's a big animal lover."
Y/N closed her eyes as the boy began to ramble, especially thankful for not having to face the boy as she listened to him talk about Aimee. Usually she was able to ignore what he was saying, but something about being this close to him, close enough that she could feel his warmth and the way his breath fanned against her neck, and having to hear him talk about another girl was more painful than ever before.
"I haven't seen her in seven years," Joel muttered after a moment of silence. "Long time. That's why I'm trying to go find her. I haven't told anyone this, but I'm kinda nervous about it."
Y/N opened her eyes at that, her face softening at the boy's words. It seemed Boy was touched by his words as well because he got up and plopped down right beside their bed, the dress still in his mouth. He closed his eyes and Y/N smiled softly before reaching down and petting the dog one more time.
"Goodnight, Boy," she whispered, Joel repeating her words while the dog let out a small whine before going to sleep.
A silence filled the room after that, but Y/N knew neither of them were able to sleep. She waited for a moment before whispering, "Are you actually nervous to see Aimee?"
Joel let out a soft sigh, his breath fanning the back of her neck before he whispered, "Yeah." He paused for a moment. "It's been seven years. What if she doesn't want to see me?"
Sighing, the girl turned around in the bed until she was facing Joel. Their faces were an inch or two apart and she noticed Joel's eyes widen slightly in surprise, but it quickly disappeared as he looked into her eyes and relaxed a bit.
Y/N’s eyes searched his own as she said, "Aimee would have to be crazy to not want to see you. You're one of the best people out there, Joel, and that was even before ninety five percent of the population was killed."
Joel smiled softly at that and looked down. "I don't know," he whispered, but the girl quickly shook her head before gently reaching out and forcing his chin up so he could look at her.
"You need to stop doubting yourself, Joel. You have such a big heart and are one of the kindest and funniest people I know. You're making one of the most romantic gestures just daring to take this journey to see her. If she doesn't want to see you, then there's something wrong with her. Trust me. All you need to do is stay calm. Everything will work out in the end," she assured him, smiling softly as she caressed his cheek once with her thumb.
Joel couldn't speak as he looked at her, his eyes flickering over her face for a moment as he tried to process all that she had just said. He couldn't help but notice the rapid beating of his heart. Seeing as it was feeling he had never experienced around the girl before, Joel pushed it aside as nothing but fear of a monster attacking while they slept. But still. . .there was something about the feeling that was familiar. He just couldn't put his finger on it.
Y/N was turning around before Joel could think anymore about it, nestling into the pillow as she closed her eyes. "Besides," she muttered, "your ass dragged me out of that bunker and I'm not about to let you have second thoughts or I'll kill you before any of these monsters can."
Joel chuckled softly at that, his whole body relaxing just because of the girl's presence. He stared at the back of her head for a moment, his eyes trailing down her form before he reached out and slowly let his arm wrap around her waist. Y/N responded by leaning backwards and into his chest while the boy pulled her closer to him and let his face nestle into the crook of her neck.
Y/N smiled softly as her eyes fluttered close once again, a sigh escaping her lips as she whispered out, "Goodnight, Joel."
"Goodnight, Robin."
- - -
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Text
With Cherries On Top
Chapter 3: The Ring & The Save
Summary/Author’s Note: I’m so fucking excited for you all to read this I am like BOUNCING. Max in all of his glory being a fucking SHIT. But we love him dearly. 
You and Max start learning a little more about each other. Your current predicament calls for a drink...or seven. And the two of you land in Alaska to meet your family. @pedropascalsource for gif credit. Look at that fucking shit and that grin...it happens a lot in this chapter as he starts to schmooze your family.
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Pairing: Max Phillips x Reader (The Proposal AU) Word Count: 3.5k Warnings: R/18+ - drinking, alcohol, sass, so much sass, sexual tension, sexual innuendos, Max is a bastard man but he is...getting better?, also does he own casual clothes?
[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [MASTERLIST]
You had taken Tylenol before you even went through security, but at this point you were pretty sure the entire bottle would not have prepared you for flying with Max Phillips. The non stop flight from JFK to Juno was almost ten hours and you had thought multiple times about stabbing your eardrums out with an ink pen. It wasn't that the flight was bad, in fact the flight itself was quite nice. First class was definitely a new experience but you could get used to it. The padded leather seats and extra leg room meant you could lean back and stretch. You propped yourself up with a pillow, and a book and was content to relax. There was just one problem, Max.
His presence was about as loud as he was and he insisted on chatting up the cute stewardesses, reading over your shoulder, and reminding you almost every fifteen minutes that this flight was boring. He at one point in time asked if you wanted to join the mile-high club and you fought the urge to snap your book shut and smack him with it.
The flight attendant walked by and asked if you needed anything and you sat up and gave her a warm smile.
"Yeah, um, I'll take a vodka cranberry, please."
Max raised an eyebrow and looked at you, "It's nine thirty in the morning."
"Oh, shoot. You're right!" You threw yourself over his lap and leaned into the isle to catch the attendant. Max grunted from the sudden weight of you and you bit back a grin. "I'm sorry, can you make it a Bloody Mary? Thank you."
You leaned back into your seat and opened the binder from immigration. Max dusted off his slacks and continued to look at you with curious disdain.
"Maybe you should eat something first?"
"It comes with celery, I think." You said without looking up. You could feel his eyes on you but refused to give him the satisfaction that it bothered you. The words on the page were suddenly the most interesting thing you had ever seen in your life and when he gave a heavy sigh, you grinned.
The attendant came back with your drink and you smiled as she set it on your fold out table tray.
"Is that the binder from I.N.S?" Max said and you nodded as you wrapped your lips around your straw and drank deep.
"Yup, and we have one week to learn all of this about each other. Which will be easy for me, because I can answer all of these questions about you--but you know nothing about me." You looked up and glared as he snatched the binder from you and started flipping through it.
"You expect me to believe you know all of this about me?"
"I do," you took another drink and turned in your seat to face him. "You never stop talking about yourself--and I've been listening to it for five years."
"Well," he said, flipping the page dramatically and looking at you with a grin. "I am my favorite subject."
"At least you can admit it."
He sat back in his seat and crossed his ankle over his knee, balancing the binder on his leg. "Alright, let's have at it then. What's my favorite color?"
"Red." You said without hesitation. "Which is ironic now, all things considered." He ignored the quip about his vampiric state and you leaned over the seat, making your drink slurp obnoxiously. "You know? Because of the blood--"
"Yes, I get the joke, dear." He moved his finger down the page. "What am I allergic to?"
"Soy, gluten," you ticked off on your fingers before waving your hand. "And a whole spectrum of human emotion."
"Are you going to be like this the whole time?" He looked at you exasperatedly and you shrugged. He sighed and shook his head. "Where did I grow up?"
"Transylvania."
"Okay. I'm done." He snapped the binder shut and you almost felt bad...almost.
"No! Okay, okay, come on, Max. I'm sorry," you put your hand on his arm and he looked down at it, making you pull back like he had burned you. "Queens. You grew up in queens. See?"
"Well, you grew up in Sitka. One down. Only two hundred and ninety-nine more questions to go."
You groaned and threw yourself over Max's lap again and held up your finger. "Excuse me, Ma'am?" You hailed the attendant. "Another Bloody Mary, please."
"Will you please, get off of me?" Max said, and you finished your drink and gave his nose a playful tweak.
You plopped back into your seat and leaned back against the headrest. "Next question."
"Do I have any scars?" He turned in his seat to mirror you.
"You have a pretty bad one on your knee. I see it every time you have your meetings with Ted. A.K.A--racquetball." Max nodded, indicating that you were correct and you continued. "So, what's it from? College sports, I'm guessing. What pretentious, frat-boy sport did you play? Soccer? Lacrosse?" You gasped and put a hand to your mouth. "Ultimate Frisbee?"
"You're very funny." He sneered and shook his head. "And I'm not telling you."
"What about me, Max? Do I have any scars?" You switched up the game. Proving that you knew everything about him wasn't going to get you very far with the government unless he could return the favor.
"No," he leaned in and lowered his voice. "But I'm pretty sure you have a tattoo."
You choked on your drink and the action made him smile. Taking a deep breath and a moment to wipe the tomato juice off of your sleeve, you glared at him. "Pretty sure?"
"Yes, when you had the nerve to be out with the flu and they stuck me with that idiotic temp, she accidentally transferred one of your calls to me. It was to confirm that you wanted to cancel your appointment with a laser removal company." He balanced his chin on his palm and continued to give you a smug grin. He was enjoying this now and it was suddenly a lot less fun.
"What are you getting at detective Phillips?"
"So, what is it?"
"No way," you took another large sip and blushed, turning away from him. "I'm not telling you."
"You know they're going to ask. I have to know. Is it a dolphin? An infinity symbol?...'live, laugh, love'?" He gave a mock gasp and put a hand to his mouth. He was imitating your earlier jest about his scar. This was still a game to him and all you had managed to do was encourage it by baiting him.
"You know, I really am glad you're having fun with this, but do remember I could go to prison. Give me that--" you snatched the binder back from him and he let you have it. "Next question. Whose place do we stay at, yours or mine?"
"That's easy," he kicked back in his chair and folded his hands on top of his chest. The action made you realize just how long he was. Between his broad shoulders and impressive calves, he barely fit in the chair. It had to be the alcohol talking. "We stay at mine," he said simply, drawing your gaze from his body.
"Why wouldn't we stay at mine?"
"Because I live at Central Park West. And you no doubt live in some squalid little studio apartment full of houseplants and a dusty, lonely, wine rack that you never use, because it's for guests you never have." He waved his hand as if imagining it and your jaw dropped.
You stayed quiet and closed the binder placing it in the pocket on the back of the seat in front of him. The small bursts of moments when Max wasn't being an asshole, it was easy to forget how real this was. He was charming and you both threw it back at one another so easily that it felt like a game. But when his real nature came roaring back to life and his dig against you was just a tad too deep--well, you didn't want to play anymore.
"What are you doing? We have more."
You sucked the rest of your drink down and put it on the edge of the tray for the attendant to take.
"We should get some rest." You said flatly, pulling the thin airline blanket up over your shoulder. "Knowing my mother, she has a big dinner or something planned."
"Wonderful," he said, folding his hands across his chest as he settled back into his seat.
The two of you stayed quiet for the majority of the trip. You frequently looked over your shoulder to see if he was even still next to you, as he didn't make a sound when he breathed. It was unnerving but no doubt had something to do with him being undead. Did he even need to breathe? You had certainly seen him do it. Was it an act? Fuck all of this was going to send your family over the edge.
The last time you pulled back your silk, airline stamped eye mask, Max wasn't in his seat. His table tray was pulled down and sitting on top of it was a small black velvet box. You looked around but he was nowhere to be seen.
Your fingers traced the shape of the box gently before you picked it up and pried it open. The ring that sat inside was stunning. It was gold, with a few small diamonds in the band on each side before leading up to the main piece--a large teardrop ruby rimmed with more diamonds. You weren't sure if the red stone was meant to be a joke but regardless, it was actually very pretty.
It slid over your finger in a perfect fit and you watched it sparkle in the sunlight from the window over your shoulder. Despite your frustrations, you had to admit, Max Phillips continued to be full of surprises.
--
Seeing Max rattle in his cramped seat while the puddle jumper took you from Juno to Sitka brought you more joy than it should have. His broad shoulders were folded in on themselves as and he was glaring straight ahead like finding a fixed point on the wall would keep him from committing murder. You knew the flight wouldn't be long, and after the amount of Bloody Marys you had consumed on the last plane, you were too buzzed to care.
As soon as your feet stepped down off of the stairs and onto the tarmac, you saw your family, waving and jumping on the side of the airstrip with a 'welcome home' sign. Oh boy. Here we go.
"Chad! Talk to me, champ." Max said loudly and you turned around to see he had put in his Bluetooth. It made you roll your eyes and you didn't bother to wait for him as you started towards your relatives.
Your mother was soft and sweet and the joy you felt as she squealed and threw her arms around your neck couldn't compare to any other kind of happiness. She smelled like home and fresh baked bread, like holiday candles and clean laundry--things that made you think of home. She pulled back to look at you like you had grown so much since she last saw you, despite being practically the same, and you laughed as she kissed each of your cheeks.
"Oh, I missed you!" She said, hugging you again before passing you off to your grandmother.
"Missed you, too, Mom. Hey, Nana," you said as you stooped down to hug the older woman.
Your mom paused and pulled you back close enough to sniff the air in front of you. "Honey, have you been drinking?"
“Oh--” you leaned back and shook your head, which was a mistake as the world spun just a little bit. “Of course not. There was a guy on the plane and he--”
"We don’t care about any of that," Your grandmother waved a hand to stop your mom from continuing to make a fuss over you. "Where's your man??"
You stopped breathing for a moment as you were suddenly reminded that you were lying to the people who loved you the most. With a bite of your lip, you looked over your shoulder and gestured to Max who was slowly making his way over to you and still talking on his earpiece.
"That's him, the one in the suit."
"Oh, my," your mom said, lowering her welcome sign and taking in the sight that was your boss and now assumed lover.
"You've been keeping that from us for five years?" Nana said as she elbowed you in the ribs and your mother glared at her. “He seems a bit overdressed.”
“Yeah,” you said, glancing down at your leggings, warm boots, and well worn over sized sweater in comparison to Max’s custom blue suit and silk tie. You hoped to god that Max had brought more suitable clothes for what was supposed to be a relaxing family oriented week in Alaska. “He does, doesn’t he?”
“Chad--I think I lost you. Can you hear me? Hello? Helloooo? Shit.” Max tapped the device in his ear repeatedly as he looked around like he would be able to see where there would be better signal. He had yet to acknowledge either you or your family and you clenched your fists at your side.  
“Honey,” you said and Max had the audacity to hold up his finger to you as he continued to turn in a half circle. “Honey.” You tried again and finally you raised your voice curtly, “Max!”
“What?” he hissed and you reached up and took the earpiece out of his ear. It took everything you had not to turn and chuck it into the harbor. You gestured to your mom and grandmother and Max’s face changed into his large and inviting smile.
“We agreed not to bring work onto this trip, it’s family time, right?” You raised an eyebrow and he glared at you. “This is my mom and grandmother,” you gestured to them, keeping a firm hold on his Bluetooth and almost daring him to try and get it back.
“You won’t get any reception on that thing anyway, dear,” your grandma waved to Max and then around to the vast landscape. “Too many trees.” She took a few steps over to him and gave him a hug like he wasn’t a complete stranger. You had to give Max props, he hugged her back and managed not to look entirely uncomfortable as he silently worried she was going to wrinkle his suit. “Now, do you prefer to be called ‘Max’ or ‘Satan Reincarnated’? Because we’ve heard it both ways.” She laughed as she patted his chest and smiled up at him.
“Nana!” You looked at her wide-eyed and Max grinned from ear to ear. How was it that the elderly managed to get away with saying the most inappropriate things?
“Oh, have you?” he glanced at you and you felt your face get hot. “Max is fine. As long as I can call you Nana.” He continued to offer that grin that you knew to be his trademark salesman smile but it made your grandmother positively beam.
“Of course!” she said, patting his chest again and adjusting his pocket square. You ran a hand through your hair wanting to scream.
“Shall we?” You interjected and grabbed your suitcase with one hand and your mother’s arm with another. The two of you walked pointedly towards the edge of the pier and she looked at you with parental concern.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you reassured with a shake of your head, slowing down for Max and your grandma could catch up. “I’m just tired.” If you continued to lie this much you were certain your nose was going to grow pointed.
Your mother helped the elderly woman down the ladder that connected the main strip to the edge of the pier where the family speedboat was parked. The chill off of the water made you shiver, it was definitely coming up on winter time and with the constant overcast came icy waters and snow. Max was just lucky it wasn’t summer time as the non-stop sunlight would have been an issue.
Looking over the ladder and feeling your body sway without even being on the water, you were starting to regret the amount of drinks you had had on the plane. You put a hand to your lips as a small amount of indigestion came up to the middle of your throat. Max stopped beside you and held his hand out expectantly.
“I’ll take my headset back, thank you,” he snarled and you ignored him. “Are you going to be sick? Pull yourself together--”
“Pull myself together? Pull m--” you shook your head and slapped the small device into his hand. “Unbelievable, you’re unbelievable.”
“This is going to be a long fucking week,” he said, looking at the boat as your family settled in. “I’m not getting in that. I cannot get these wet. They’re Armani.” He gestured to his shoes and you vowed in that moment that if you did wind up vomiting, it would be on those shoes.
“Hence the boat,” you gestured. It was the only way of getting to the island that the tiny town resided on, you were happy to make him swim but somehow you doubted that would go over very well with your family. “Either you climb down or you can stay here and I’ll see you in a week--”
“Fine. Fine.” He stopped arguing and climbed down the ladder, hopping the last few rungs to land firmly on the pier. He held up his arms as you passed down the suitcases and tossed his shoulder bag to him and he placed them in the back of the boat. “Are you coming?” he added impatiently as you leaned heavily on the railing at the top of the ladder.
“Give me a minute,” you said through gritted teeth.
“I told you to eat something. You’re drunk--”
“I am not.” You argued with him, straightening your posture and turning around to climb down the ladder. You were going to prove him wrong even if it meant that you landed on your ass. It was simple, all you needed to do was put one foot down in front of the other and keep a tight hold. Rinse and repeat until your feet were firmly planted on the wooden boards--simple.
“Lookin’ good, sweetheart,” Max said, and you didn’t have to look to know he was staring up at your ass. “Those leggings are nice--are you wearing a thong?”
“Oh my god, shut up, Max,” you paused and leaned your head against the ladder, wanting to both strangle him and dive into the pier and let the ocean take you far away from the week ahead of you. After a few moments, you regained your sense of self and took a few more rungs down.
“Almost there,” he encouraged and you let out a heavy sigh. “There ya go--annnnd, congratulations. I am now five hundred years old.”
“Good for you, old man,” you quipped and tried to push passed him. Your boot caught on one of the loose boards and there was nothing to catch yourself on as you started to tumble. Despite refusing to admit that Max was right, maybe you should have eaten something. Your desperate attempt to forget your current situation was about to land you in the middle of the freezing gulf. You heard your mom gasp from the boat but instead of hitting the water, Max’s arm shot around your waist and pulled you back against his chest with ease.
You stumbled and grabbed the front of his suit coat as you tried to turn around and he tightened his grip. He looked down at you with a grin that was much different than the one he had been giving your family. “Got ya.”
“Nice going, Max!” your grandmother cheered and you knew there would be no living with him after this.
“Thank you,” you said curtly and tried to move from his arms but he didn’t release you.
“What, no kiss?” he smirked, keeping his voice low enough that your family couldn't hear him. “I did just save your life.”
“Let. go. of. me. Max.” You said through gritted teeth and you braced for him to force a kiss on you for the sake of your family, but to your surprise, he released you. The way he watched you as you climbed into the boat, all dark eyes and wide grin, sent a shiver down your spine.
--
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softi3fairy · 3 years ago
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go to things to own when regressed <3
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reminder: it is not a necessity to own any of these things, your regression is 100% valid without any of these!
🌸 depending on what age you regress to, teethers or pacis are great for stress relief and oral fixations. tethers can be easier to use, especially when you’re in the closet about your regression! teethers can be found at baby boutiques and pacis are sold on amazon and boutiques dedicated to agere.
🌸 bottles + sippy cups!! these are great, especially if you regress to younger ages!! it can help prevent messes, and can help you feel more comfortable when regressed!
🌸 art kits!! some stores like Toys R Us and Michaels sell children’s art kits, these can be easy to disguise as simply an interest in art! these are so versatile as well, as most of them come with colour pencils, markers, paint and crayons!
🌸 divided plates! most stores that sell home decor, such as target or walmart sell plates with dividers! this is amazing item to have when regressed, but also if you have sensory related issues when your food touches!!
🌸 stuffed animals! these are great for comfort, but can also be used as toys as well! coming up with other reasons to purchase these can also be quite easy!!
🌸 outdoor toys! now that the weather is slowly becoming nicer, we can spend more time outside! chalk, kites, frisbees! and water balloons are all some things we can do/use outside!
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kythwena · 4 years ago
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Ah, it's the eternal argument. Realism versus abstract expressionism. The Magicians | S03E05: A Life in the Day (2018)
“He’s really a nice fellow, I shouldn’t hold it over his head. Quite a good amateur painter, albeit in a sadly outdated realist mode. I let him paint me once — draped, thank you very much. I was holding a Frisbee. I think I was supposed to be Hyacinthus. Chambers is a pompiste at heart. Deep down I don’t think he believes Impressionism ever happened.” Quentin had never met anybody so staggeringly and unapologetically affected. It was hard to know how to respond. He summoned up all the wisdom he’d accumulated during his entire life in Brooklyn. “Merits are for pussies,” he said. Eliot looked at him appraisingly. “Very true. But they’re the only cigarette I can stand. Disgusting habit. Come on, smoke one with me.” Quentin accepted the cigarette. He was in unfamiliar territory here. He’d handled cigarettes before—they were common props in close-up magic—but he’d never actually put one in his mouth. He made the cigarette vanish—a basic thumb palm—then snapped his fingers to bring it back. “I said smoke it, not fondle it,” Eliot said curtly. He muttered something under his breath, then snapped his own fingers. A lighter-size flame sprang into being over the tip of his index finger. Quentin leaned in and inhaled. It felt like his lungs had been crumpled up and then incinerated. He coughed for five solid minutes without stopping. Eliot laughed so hard he had to sit down. Quentin’s face was slick with tears. He forced himself to take another drag and threw up into a hedge. They spent the rest of that afternoon together. Maybe he felt guilty for giving Quentin the cigarette, or maybe Eliot had decided that the tedium of solitude was ever so slightly greater than the tedium of Quentin’s company. The Magicians (The Magicians, #1) by Lev Grossman
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