#like holy shit we are regressing

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

"girls support girls-" okay but are you normal about queer women? are you normal about BIWOC? are you normal about disabled women? are you normal about autistic women? are you normal about fat women? alternative women? unattractive women? are you normal about women who choose not to shave their legs and armpits and faces? are you normal about butches and tomboys and masculine women? are you normal about trans women? are you normal about trans men? are you normal about nonbinary folk and people who lie outside the gender binary or renounce gender all together? are you normal about women who absolutely despise and detest the latest trends? are you normal about weird women who unsettle you with their interests? are you normal about women who don't wear makeup, who will never wear makeup, who openly dislike makeup and the makeup industry?

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

i've been seeing a lot of falsettos posts recently deconstructing the fandoms beliefs and firstly

holy fuck thank you, i try to steer clear of fandom (and fandom-izing thereof) drama but this is getting a lot more visible recently so here's some little tidbits for you

whizzer brown is not an unflawed character!

okay so i haven't seen enough dissecting this but!!! in the chess game!

the whole point of marvin using that game to determine the ending of their relationship is because he suspects whizzer is constantly deceiving him and wants to prove it.

whizzer LITERALLY proves him right!

he asks marvin to help him along (yes i know he says he doesn't want help, hear me out, it's a little more complex than that) and takes advantage of the fact that marvin is- like- infatuated with him.

he draws him into a sense of false security then starts throwing accusations at him ("since you need a man!" "what?" "who's 'brainy'," "or witty, move.") until hes able to win, which he does with ease because he's been using marvin having this idea that he isn't smart against him.

of course, marvin's side of this isn't the best either but honestly, for once the fandom should focus on a different character when they think 'insane asshole'. typically we should also probably change our perspectives a little to be more unbiased cuz fr guys, this is getting really.. annoying.

i understand he's the most visibly flawed but that doesn't excuse constantly picking the worst parts of this musical (without other context, btw) to use against him.

and this post certainly isn't here to excuse anyone either i've just got a lot of opinions that i wanted to share while falsettos is.. trending? right?

2. marvin's (headcanoned but still somewhat researched) autism

this one isn't brought up as much but when i do see it around, it's kind of a skewed viewpoint.

while rewatching bits of the proshot i realized a lot of different neurodivergent traits that he shows-

he's helpless during I Never Wanted to Love You and is childish and regressive when he's upset (not every autistic person is like this either, i know this is a bit of a touchy subject so i just wanted to add that).

usually when people depict it i see it either toned down or joked about which is fine when all in good fun, and when its done respectfully.

not here to attack anyone, just here to point it out and say that yes :) he most likely is neurodivergent, but despite that his actions aren't condoned. he's still kinda a dick who needs to get his shit together

3. ..the lesbians also have shit going on?

just putting this out there- I DON'T SEE ENOUGH FOR THE LESBIANS! OR TRINA!

the girls in this musical are like thoroughly neglected and i think that's kind of shitty just assuming the fact that william finn put them in to demonstrate how gender roles put people in degrading positions (and he even makes it more prevalent by showing marvin as something like a misogynistic character who forces whizzer into more feminine roles to show the audience what woman have to/had to go through in society).

anyways, the lesbians aren't just there guys. they have a plotline too. in Something Bad is Happening, you derive a lot from charlotte singing about the outbreak of HIV/AIDS and realize how she operates on a daily basis (she's passionate about her work and takes every bad day as a hit to her life and career, explaining in a way that as a black, jewish, lesbian, FEMALE doctor in this time, everything that goes wrong is immediately brought down on her so much more than it would as any straight white male pharmacist-).

cordelia on the other hand has to handle the fact that her girlfriend is so adamant about her work ethic that she can't actually be super present in their relationship at times like that.

but either way she still sticks by her and is constantly trying to be supportive and endearing despite feeling like she's not amounting to her gf who's basically a hero in her eyes.

i kinda just wanted to bring that up because they mean a lot to me and they don't get enough love from the fanbase, thank you for listening to my TED talk <3

[cyberdragoninfinity]

I would love to hear your thoughts about the fucked-up turtle (Terapagos)

"Now let's talk about the turtle. Can we talk about the turtle please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the turtle with you all day."

Ok so. Short Answer Re: Thoughts About Terapagos:

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DID IT DO THAT. WHY DID THEY [GAMEFREAK] DO THAT.

Long Answer Re: Thoughts About Terapagos [SPOILERS FOR THE SCARVIO DLC naturally. i havent seen Horizons so i dont rly know whats goin on with this little guy in the anime, just what we've got in the games]:

When the last little batch of new Pokemon in Indigo Disk leaked, about 12 hours or so-ish before the DLC dropped, I was at dinner with my bestie and we were looking at our phones like we were reading breaking world news. And I was looking at this tiny ass png of Terapagos's full Tera (Stellar) form.

And I immediately blurted out "holy SHIT it's turtles all the way down."

If you're not familiar with the phrase, check out its wikipedia page; here it's most relevant as a saying thrown around with regards to the philosophical concept of infinite regress, i.e. a series of elements (or questions begging an explanation) that that goes on infinitely with each member producing the next. So let's say the world rests on the back of a giant turtle--well, then, what does that turtle stand on to keep it from falling into the void? Why, another, bigger turtle, of course! But what about that turtle? Well, you're not gonna believe this, but it's turtles all the way down.

And here's the other thing about infinite regress: it's a logical fallacy, it's circular reasoning--honestly it's a little bit of a cousin to the "which came first?" chicken and egg argument. The question in these cases never truly gets answered, it just goes on and on forever. Bigger turtles on top of even bigger turtles.

It's a paradox. :)

So Stellar Terapagos, just look at that thing. Even its dex entries talk about how it looks like a planet, how it resembles "the world as the ancients saw it"--it's very much not only trying to evoke the World Turtle concept, but the symbolism of a classic paradoxical saying. So we've already got that going on with it, that already makes me bonkers. AND THAT'S JUST THE SURFACE LEVEL.

Cuz when we look at how Terapagos behaves, things start to go from "well isnt this guy a little weird" to "oh. oh this thing is kind of fucked up and terrifying, hello, what the hell is wrong with it" REAL FAST. Its two most stressed features we see in Indigo Disk are A.) its crystalline nature and how its the progenitor of Terastalization, but also B.) it is ferociously powerful and borderline uncontrollable. It's violent. It bursts out of a Master Ball and almost kills Kieran for daring to try and control it. Heath's illustration of its Stellar form in the Scarlet/Violet Book looks so otherworldly and almost cosmically horrifying. It has Weird Fucking Powers the game does NOT elaborate on (but I will; see more below.)

And also, hey, yeah, its Stellar Form looks like a stack of world turtles, but why the FUCK does its Terastal form also look like a goddamn dream catcher.

Personally I've been a big fan of the 'imagination theory' re: the Professors and the Paradox Pokemon and Area Zero, and folks have been arguing that Indigo Disk debunks that, but honestly I feel like we're loitering around some untold explanation that's even more bizarre. Terapagos is at least on some level tied to dreams and existentialism, and I really feel like there's more to Tera Crystals and Terapagos's relationship with them than what we've been told. Hell, its cry is even the noise we hear all game when we Terastalize our Pokemon, which produces its own myriad of questions (Are the Crystals some degree of alive? The Tera Crowns all do have Terapago's little turtle head at their base, too--does Terapagos physically or spiritually connect with a Terastalizing Pokemon? And what about that weird crystalizing the AI Professor does during its big boss fight? MUCH TO THINK ABOUT.)

Oh, speaking of Crystals--yeah. I can't NOT talk about the Indigo Disk Crystal Pool Postgame Secret when talking about Terapagos. ONE MORE SPOILER WARNING FOR THAT--SERIOUSLY GO TO THE CRYSTAL POOL AFTER GETTING THE DLC CREDITS. IT WILL BLAST YOU TO BITS. anyway.

Yeah so that's what I mean with Why Did It [Terapagos] Do That. The fact that you dont even need to have it in your party for the postgame Crystal Pool cutscene to trigger and for Terapagos to just pop out of the PC boxes on its own accord and warp space and time (and maybe even reality itself) to irreversible consequence, implying once again some great and uncontrollable power within this beast. Crazy Ass Moments in Pokemon History for CERTAIN.

And the thing that makes me most insane, thinking about Terapagos twisting time to allow you to meet the Professor, the Real Live Professor, to swap notes with them so to speak, the way it facilitates all of that, is the position it now puts the player and Scarvio itself in. If the Professor's research rests on the back of a white book given to them by a child, then what does the research of that white book rest upon? Ah, well, the expedition of Area Zero spurred forth by the fallout of the Professor's research. And what did THAT research rest upon, again...?

Turtles. The whole way down. Chickens and eggs and a paradox you're now responsible for. At the hands of a Normal Type Pokemon that tried to kill a 14 year old.

Terapagos scares the shit out of me. I love it so much. Why Did They Make It Like That <3

[dsudis]

To Be Brand New - 25/25, all complete!!

holy shit, we made it!!!

Check out all the art by @fishfingersandscarves

To Be Brand New || Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling || Explicit || 25/25 || 141,159 words

Book 7: Brief Lives (The Sandman), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, at least during this story, Age Regression/De-Aging, Slow Burn, like the slowest burn, Like One of Them Is A Pre-Sexual Child for the First 100K, What If The Red String Of Fate Was Also A Toddler Leash, Touch-Starved Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Protective Hob Gadling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Caretaking, Bathing/Washing, Sharing a Bed, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries, Illnesses, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Explicit Sexual Content, Masturbation, Not Exactly Loss of Virginity But Kinda?, Implied/Referenced Monsterfucking, Happy Ending

On a rainy day in the Dreaming, Dream of the Endless watches the dreamfolk doting on Daniel Hall, and wishes he could be someone small enough to be loved. Hob Gadling has waited a long time for a chance to be closer to his stranger. This isn’t the way he ever imagined it happening, but he does love nothing better than being surprised.

[Read on Ao3 here!]

Thank you to everyone who supported this story in the writing, everyone who made art, and everyone who has been reading along all month! We're here! We made it! :D

[liquidstar]

i think subaru is interesting as a protagonist because of the way he gets fleshed out over the story. i mean, its fairly common to reveal character backstories to have their actions leading up to this point make more sense, but for an isekai protagonist in particular i just think the way its done is so interesting.

you start the story with pretty much 0 context about who this kid is. and this is typical genre convention, you assume that you dont need context because its an isekai. the story doesnt really have to establish anything beyond that hes just some nerdy kid. thats how it usually goes right? hes not MEANT to have a backstory, hes meant for the viewer to project upon. and that works for a while but

by arc 2 his very specific character quirks start to pop up, and you also start to see that hes trying VERY HARD to play a role in his head. a very specific role that hes chosen out. and this eventually comes to a head in arc 3, especially after the julius fight and falling-out with emilia. and thats when you see him at his lowest with actual deeply rooted FLAWS. ones he was desperately trying to run from to play the isekai hero role. and then you get the "from zero" speech which is such a turning point for his entire character.

but you still haven't even begun to scratch the surface of what makes him tick. the story doesn't give you his actual backstory until arc 4, with the trial's glimpse into his family and school life. and everything about him makes sense. not that it didnt make sense before but holy crap... hes a character. hes not a just self insert. hes got a lot of really specific fucked up shit going on in his head. he has a family, he had friends, he went to school, he was a teenager... he was a guy! a person! and now you really get who that person is and why hes Like This

and it seems like thats it. from here on out its just about development, arc 5 doesnt really dive deep into any more of his backstory, and arc 6 is all about REGRESSION for him. his memories literally go back to the exact point they were when the story started. though this time we have a lot more context.

that's all you need to know right? i mean by this point the story is seven arcs in, what other possible revelations could there be about the protagonist that would put his entire story arc until this point into a whole new context-

NATSUMI SCHWARTZ

[linddzz]

Why Are People Happy (or like, at least Not Freaking Out) About the USA Midterm Results?

(or in my case exhaling a held breath as I slightly lift my finger off the "oh fuck me and my spouse should worry for our future survival if we stay in the country" button for now)

So for newer voters there is the very valid question: why the hell are people acting like this is a victory for progressives/Democrats when they'll likely lose the House and barely hold on to the Senate?

Short Answer: because by historical pattern and all the usual indicators, anyone who even slightly caucused with Dems should have been trounced, and the fact that they weren't trounced has the far hardline right shaking.

To borrow from a great Reddit comment I saw; the GOP is freaking out because this was like a pro boxer went up against a sick six year old, and the boxer may have scored higher in the end but the six year old beat the shit out of them in the process.

For decades the pattern has been that the president's party loses at LEAST 20-40 seats in the midterms. Add in that Republicans tend to turn out more for midterms, gerrymandering, and the fact that in the past swing voters are swayed by inflation and gas prices and...it should have been so much worse. With how everything was stacked up this ended up being a historic turnout for an incumbent executive branch, the career politicians pay attention to shit like that.

And yeah with how things are, "holy shit it could have been so much worse" is worth something.

So I'm not like, popping bottles and cheering, but this to me is a great example of Voting as Harm Reduction in Action.

Voting did not Fix It. It can't. Voting will not stop fascism, strike that expectation from your mind and also really see that that is not what voting's role is in an action plan. Voting is the Minimum. Meaning if you can't do anything else you vote, but you don't rely on voting and expect it alone to fix problems.

(long post with more of a breakdown below. Tho this isn't a breakdown where I pulled sources and exact numbers. It's more of a General Take Away.)

The ultimate proof that this wasn't great for the far right is the fact that they're very openly freaking out. Go to the far right outlets and they are losing it. It has been loudly shown that they can't assume they can point to inflation and get away with OPEN pushes for total take over.

On one hand, we very VERY likely gained a couple more years to fight (either to stop a fascist take over or to at least set things up to save more lives, or to even reduce the power hold a fascist take over could keep.) On the other hand, people like Nick Fuentes are now openly saying "we are the minority and these results show why we need a dictatorship." Whether it's a good thing they're saying the quiet part even louder or not remains to be seen.

(My optimistic take is it may be a good thing, as it's way harder for moderates to accuse progressives of hysterics when the wackos won't stop saying the quiet part out loud and are in fact saying it louder. I kind of WANT the wackos to be louder and louder, there's now good evidence that freaks voters out.)

The More Definitive Good:

-The GOP majority is not NEARLY what they were wanting, and a lot of their moderates are spooked. The status quo holders are seeing that hardline regressive politics like the overturn of Roe is BAD for them, and they can't rely on "but the gas prices." The GOP generally falls in line together yes, but remember how much they struggled to pass big change legislation when Trump was president? They're gonna have even more inter-party tensions now as the hardline right gets frustrated that they can't impeach Biden every week and the status quo moderates get more hesitant to back up policies that they KNOW won't be popular with their constituents. They will not be able to coast whatever they want through. Even if they end up flipping the House AND Senate it will not be with big enough majorities to do whatever they want.

-Listen if nothing else, if you're a petty bitch like me who enjoys a nice dish of shadenfreude, its probably gonna be very funny watching McCarthy struggle to keep his party on track if they retake the House.

-Cannot possibly stress enough that the fact that it's STILL not 100% certain the GOP will flip the house is buck fucking wild.

-GenZ turnout is giving me hope that the Youths are properly viewing voting as a minimal first step in an action plan and not as a "if it doesn't fix it why bother?" scenario. If voting is all you can do, do that so you can help give people who are fighting better ground to work on and more time. Stay involved in local elections especially!

-For me at least, this has let me take my mental finger off the PANIC AND FLEE NOW button so I can focus slightly less on survival for immediate family and more on helping others.

-Speaking of, LOOK UP HOW TO HELP YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN COMMUNITIES. The Indian Child Welfare Act is on the line at the supreme court. Look it up, look up how you can help.

Best Case Scenario Outcomes/Dreams

-Trump vs DeSantis actually does turn into a GOP civil war. Will this fight be good in the long run? I don't know but I know that at this moment it's very fun watching them claw at each other. Thoughts and prayers towards an ongoing GOP civil war. The established GOP wants Trump gone and see this midterm as proof he's bad for elections, but he's not going to go easy. I'm gonna be like Cersei Lannister looking out my window sipping wine watching them fight.

-GOP realizes "being seen as the social regression party is bad for us" and they stop being obstructionists. Best case here is they open up to climate legislation. That or they buckle down harder and piss everyone off more. Either way is likely to work out for progressives. Ultimate Dream is a GOP civil war and party shakeout leading to a conservative party with like, disagreements on tax policy and regulations being the biggest thing to worry about in the future.

-Bigger Dream; this is a death knell for the rise of Christo-Fascism. They overshot their reach with the Roe overturn and the power hold the hard right Christian block has on the conservative party goes downhill from here. This is more of a dream and not a realistic expectation though.

-I don't hold as much hope here but there's a CHANCE that this also signaled to Democrats that they can be more pushy and not suffer for it. Biden is a political beast and I wouldn't be surprised if his more openly progressive (by his standards) moves recently were to test how voters would respond to it. If Dems payed attention (big if) they got the message that people want more action.

-Trump probably lost the political backup he hoped for if he gets indicted. There's a GOOD chance that the establishment GOP won't stop the legal freight train about to hit him even if they get both House and Senate. I think it's silly to say "it's over for Trump!" but it's fair to say his tower is less protected than he likely hoped. It's likely the establishment is less afraid of his power than they were even after 2020.

-can you imagine if he made a third party and wrecked the GOP voting base? Like to charge reblog to cast.

-If nothing else; between Alex Jones, Elon flailing like an idiot and maybe taking down Twitter, and far right pundits screaming in confusion, there is entertainment to be had.

Now What:

-The fight is not over. It will never be over. The hill to fight up is less steep than expected now, but it's still there.

-We will likely not see much passed before 2024. This midterm was less about getting progressive platforms pushed and more about making it harder for regressive policies to pass. It'll be frustrating but with how things were stacked that's the best we could've hoped for.

-The GOP have gerrymandering and can win that way (it's likely how they end up winning the House) BUT more people are aware of it now and districts that should have been EASY wins were closer than the GOP would like. They're likely to try to gerrymander harder, it's now our job to be very very loud about that. Push for districting reform.

-The conservative voting bloc is ALSO sick of the two options. Peeking around in r/conservative revealed a surprising amount of support for rank choice voting. This is an area to plug your nose and work with people towards a common goal. Rank choice is at the moment, the most realistic strategy for breaking up the two party system.

-Hard to swallow pill: the majority of this country is moderate. It sucks. But it is. You cannot depend on the dream of a socialist revolution. Lying down and accepting that as a reason to give up is also not an option.

-Expanding on that; this midterm may be a sign that the moderates are more politically aware than they used to be, and that they're more persuadable towards progressive policy than I had expected. Try to keep that up, because it makes it harder for the hardline right to try to push their shit quietly.

-There will almost certainly not be a time where progressives can relax and say they fixed it.

-Celebrating "holy shit that could have been so much worse" can't be a sign that It's Fixed. I also don't think people view it that way. My big hope is that younger progressives have realized that they can't go "the system is fucked beyond repair so why bother."

-Celebrating increments and enjoying some shadenfreude can be good for your mental health. Shitting on people for celebrating "oh good I don't need to flee the country asap" doesn't really help anyone.

-There was a ZERO chance this midterm would have given total big majorities to progressives. If you are set on only celebrating Perfect Wins you're going to have a BAD TIME and will burn out fast.

-Fight for an ideal you don't expect to reach. Take every half step you can, push for bigger leaps. Do not give ground for the sake of not reaching the goal.

-If DeSantis is smart he will moderate his "anti woke" openly social-regression talk. Don't let him get away with remaking his image as "the nice safe moderate compared to Trump." Pull out the petty shit he did with Disney, point out every way he is JUST as low and mean.

-GenZ: the far right is now terrified of you. Good. Keep em scared.

[sparkles-and-trash]

some dabihawks lovechildren fluff ~

To begin with, Touya was the nervous wreck.

With all his baggage and trauma he was terrified of transfering that to innocent kids.

Keigo was always calm, sure it was gonna be a-okay!

…until he actually like, held the twins.

Saw their tiny faces, held their little hands, he had a full blown «holy shit these are real humans I have to care for» moment that makes him a little crazy.

Touya however, regresses right back into his big brother years.

He loves being silly with them, throwing them in the air, making them giggle so heard they’re out of breath.

Everytime Keigo reads up on parenting books and forums and goes into a bit of a frenzy, Touya likes to remind him that;

«Hey, look at how fucked up our childhood was, and we turned out fine!»

…which used to make Keigo being up the villain and child solider point, but he gives up on that during the twins’ first year.

Keigo spends four years running around after the twins telling them to watch out, be careful, wear their helmets, don’t fly without supervision, to take care of each other, all without realizing how crazy he’s being.

Then they decide to build the twins a tree house.

It starts out with Touya and Keigo doing it together, but after Touya nearly killed Keigo five times within the first hour because of how helpless he is with tools, it ends up with Natsuo coming over and helping Keigo out.

Keigo goes into full on project mode, and Natsuo likes Keigo, and he loves his niece and nephew, so he hangs on the best that he can.

After three days the little birdhouse, as Natsuo likes to call it, is finished, and the kids are so excited they can hardly stay on the ground.

When they finally arrive to the scene, Touya has to excuse himself for a solid five minutes to get his laughter under control.

Keigo built their kids a tree house.

On the ground.

Well, it’s maybe two or three feet off the ground, but it’s hardly a tree house of any kind.

The kids are still happy as can be, they hadn’t really known what to expect anyway, and Natsuo has to explain how the hours started up actually in the tree, but got moved a little closer to the ground three times a day.

He’d try to talk Keigo out of it, but he quite honestly found the whole thing funny as hell.

Touya doesn’t have the heart to tell either Keigo or the kids how ridiculous it is to have a tree house on the ground, especially since all three of them can fly, so he just lets them have their fun.

When the twins gets a little older and brings friends over, some of them like to make some comments about the «ground house», but the twins always defends it so hard the other kids give up.

After all, were their tree houses buildt by the former no 2 hero???

Didn’t think so.

[nqmonarch]

Since I've only read the webcomic I may be wrong in some parts but man pre-regression Yoojin and Yoohyun's relationship is so depressing.

I understand why Yoohyun distanced himself but at the same time I want him to suffer because holy shit he didn't explain anything. Yoojin is extremely depressed and has substance abuse problems which there's no way in hell Yoohyun doesn't know about but instead he just keeps creating distance and treats him coldly. I get you don't want your older brother to become a target of mister evil venom dragon dude and die but it's a miracle Yoojin kept himself alive???

Like I'd have to imagine he's had suicidal thoughts as when he attempts to sacrifice himself for Yoohyun, he's like 'Fine I'll die, I'll stop bothering you and everyone else.' He was barely holding onto hope because of the few people who supported him who all ended up dying and only he lived because of Final Thanks.

The amount of trauma Yoojin's been through is insane. That being said I want Yoohyun to suffer (he's already suffered a lot but I want pre-regression him to suffer more). At the end of the day this is evil venom dragon man's fault But man am I pissed at Yoohyun.

That being said it seems like the only way (where the webcomic picks up with them pre-regression) for Yoohyun to suffer is if Yoojin dies. And honestly I don't want Yoojin to die. So I've been thinking about a satisfying way for Yoojin to "get revenge" and I think I've come up with something???

So Yoohyun's doing all of this to protect Yoojin because Yoohyun's a target and if he's close to Yoojin then Yoojin will be a target too. So what if Yoojin just ends up managing to become a bigger target on his own?

As mentioned the government's awakening facility was catered toward individual's with combat abilities so it'd definitely fail to awaken Yoojin at his maximum potential. And as we saw from Yoojin's ability to see other's classes it seemed like over 50% of the population had POTENTIAL for D rank or above.

So if there was another character that could see the potential ranks of everyone and imagine there surprise when they manage to come across Yoojin and find out his potential is an S Rank (which I don't know if that's canon but for the sake of this scenario let's say his potential is an S rank, and they can also see the potential of his skill Caregiver is S (apparently it became L after Yoohyun died for him). Because I think skills can level up??? I don't understand the magic system that well so if that's not true just be delusional with me).

Now obviously they'd want to get Yoojin on their side, and they come up out of nowhere offering training to Yoojin. By the time this news reaches Yoohyun's ears through his weird stalker network Yoojin's already gone.

Of course Yoojin wants to become a useful older brother, and sure maybe he's fallen into the trap of getting scammed before but this person has proof of being in the Seseong Guild (I don't know maybe they have IDs?). And why is the guild for this AU the Seseong Guild? Because that's what would piss Yoohyun off the most.

So now fast forward a few years Yoohyun has been freaking the fuck out and is basically forced to assume his brother is dead. For the sake of privacy and keep their new asset safe the Seseong guild gave Yoojin a new identity. Despite that evil venom dragon dude figured out it was Yoojin and decided 'Hey if I can kill him I can use his body to really make Yoohyun accept that he's dead and make him join my side! :D'

Anyway the dragon fails like in canon. This time instead of Yoohyun breaking into the portal and then sacrificing himself the the guild leader of Seseong guild (my boy Sung Hyunjae) is near the gate (coincidence I think not) and he's like damn something happened, seems interesting, I'll join in. But by the time he enters the dragon's already dead and the only one standing is Yoojin.

Now Yoojin had interested Hyunjae before, the way he'd acted so at ease with his S rank brother in the past despite being an F rank. Not only that but even when Hyunjae let out his imposing S Rank aura, Yoojin, when he was still a lower rank, would cower but he didn't mince his words. It was amusing.

Yoojin had originally been standing in the back as more of a supportive figure but holy shit did the party get wiped by the dragon. Lets say all of the party members were under Yoojin's custody and that one of the party members (for the sake of my delusions) was an S Rank (for the sake of my delusions) and died for Yoojin. Bam Yoojin is super fucking strong solos the dragon, easy, he now gained the L ranked skills Perfect CareGiver and Dragon Slayer.

From unlocking Dragon Slayer he gets the wish stone, and this time is allowed to wish everyone else who died alive and the Irreverent Children are like 'y'know you've made it pretty far already fuck it we'll just bring them back to life no need to turn back time.' Hyunjae watches the ending of this go down and he's like ._., o_o, and then bastard :). You know he'd just be thinking in his head about how useful this random support ite-- person is.

Okay so we've got Yoojin basically up to where he is post-regression and he keeps gaining skills from dungeons, gains the double attack skill, doesn't say shit obviously because he's Yoojin. Except this time he has a lot more publicity more specifically publicity by Hyunjae's side. Yoohyun manages to see this, recognizes Yoojin, and he's first relieved his beloved brother is alive, and then fuming. Why is that bastard there? Poor Yoojin will only be in danger with him but he has to remind himself Yoojin is S Class now (through the power of I say so, I don't actually know if they can like reawaken to a higher class but I assume so?).

Anyway eventually they Yoohyun breaks in to the Seseong Guild just to talk to Yoojin they make up yay!!! All of the post-regression characters end up meeting Yoojin and become happier too. Everyone ends up becoming happy and Yoojin saves the world :)! Go mom powers!

I haven't read the novel, and thus I'm not at a point where I can make this scenario with as few plot holes as possible. Please excuse me for any glaring mistakes, I just need to live out this dream.

Also wouldn't it be funny if Yoojin used his keywords on evil venom dragon dude that follows the Pious and it worked??? And he now had that dude on his side, when I was reading that scene I was like "...is he gonna say 'I love you' to beat it?" Obviously in post-regression it's huge that venom dragon guy dies because he's the reason Yoohyun is dead but... this is pre regression :).

Anyway I love the post-regression characters and how much happier they seem compared to their pre-regression versions. I want post-regression dead Yoohyun to get a happy ending too. I just think he should suffer a bit first.

I felt like I was on drugs writing this I'm going to be honest not quite sure of what I just wrote but it was a hell of a ride.

[titansontop]

i couldnt reply before but here it is. Long asf.

@raven-harlot

What a convenient way to forget Nightwing's arc with the Titans, written by Taylor a few months ago, the beginning of his Titans. Where raven wasn't at all "just Gar's gf", right? Raven did things on her own, she wasn't there just to be with Gar, she had moments, she had a leading role, she had a role in the arc that was much more than just being Gar's girlfriend, did you forget all that? Raven having action, Raven showing her best qualities with Olivia…She was the best and more interesting character of that arc without doubts. And even though she was with Gar there, it was never like she was stuck to him, was it?… While Raven had a second leader role in this arc, what happened with Gar? Nothing (he wasnt there just as Raven's boyfriend tho).

Do you remember TT Academy? Where Gar was doing exactly what Raven is doing now? Being a moral support for her partner? (oh no! A couple that helps and supports each other!😨😟) I bet at that moment you didn't think that Gar was "just Raven's bf", no, I bet you were saying something like "they made Raven Weak! Raven doesn't need a man!" Blah, blah, blah.

Traumas? What traumas? You know damn well that the only reason we're seeing Gar's trauma is because of what happened in Dark Crisis; otherwise we wouldn't see shit about his trauma, just like we won't see the other Titans' traumas.

Do you know what character progression is? Something Raven went through under Wolfman's writing? Do you remember how she tried to have relationships back then? how she tried to love, right? Raven has been free of Trigon for years, stop the cap, she can express her emotions without problems since the 80s.

Stop the cycle, do you want Raven to be some kind of Redhood going through the same arc over and over again?

Do you want Raven to be exactly like she was 40 years ago in the damn 80s, when she debuted as an 18-year-old woman who didn't even have friends and couldn't express her emotions?? Holy character regression!

If you say that Raven is unrecognizable and a totally different character (if that makes you feel better, keep pretending that, I guess) then just stop reading the comics…easy, that easy.

Did you start reading a Gar comic, where Raven was only going to be a character in a supporting role because the comic focuses on Gar and only Gar, hoping that she wouldn't be a character in a supporting role? The joke tells itself. Did you want her to be the protagonist of Gar's comic? And don't say she's just Gar's girlfriend and nothing more when she literally had her own comic where Gar WASN'T there, no matter how bad it was, it was a comic of her, about her, with a story for her, Gar wasn't there(i bet you got maddd when Raven talked about him tho{1 line in a 30 pages comic, before you even say anything lmao}).

Before this new Titans comic what did Gar have? Nothing at all. Raven instead? She had the storyline of Unkindness, she had some small roles in that same storyline in TTA and Shazam(where she was also given some respect), she had an important role in Dark Crisis: The Deadly Green, and it didn't end there, she also had a big fight with The Spectre. Gar at the event, meanwhile, was only being used as motivation for Dick and nothing else (0 scenes of Gar with Raven or Cyborg even when they are the characters that should have been with him). (And not to mention the Titans United comics, those are not from the main earth, but Raven had a big role in the second one, and in none of them was she "just Gar's gf", i wasnt a big fan tho).

Oh and let's not forget the comic where once again Raven crossed paths with Trigon, and it wasn't the best thing in the world, but Gar wasn't there… she literally got a mini story for herself there in that Lazarus Planet tie-in, while Gar at that time only had the back up from Action Comics with Power Girl, where they once again ignored Raven and Victor and used Dick.

And there was also Knight Terrors: Titans, where once again, Raven wasnt there as "just Gar's gf".

Umm, no, just because a writer doesn't give focus to the character you want it means it is misogyny😂. There are 4 issues that don't focus on Raven, so he hates women? 😂, let's completely forget how he even put Donna in the role of leader in that mission(not much but is more than what she got in the last 3 years). They are setting up Beast World, of course they will focus on Gar. And even then, let's look at who's been focused on so far: Dick(who is Taylor's favorite and is being pushed by editorial as a super leader), Gar(who is being set up for something bigger) and Wally(who is part of a semi-plot from the comic). Vic isn't getting that much focus either, I guess that makes Taylor racist, right?… Don't worry, more moments will come for them, I repeat, ITS 4 ISSUES IN. Even Taylor has said that Kori will have more prominence in the next issues.

Do you remember the little arc with the Brotherhood of Evil and Madame Rogue?…who was the lead and who was in a supporting role?…oh yeah! Gar was the main character while the others were mostly sidelined… And that was by Wolfman and Pérez…

About the part of Taylor not knowing how to write women, Taylor isnt a perfect writer for sure, im not saying he is, and he isn't Gail Simone, he misses too, but yk one of his most acclaimed comics from marvel is a comic about a female character(X-23), right? Lol.

You say Taylor doesn't understand her, yet, he is probably writing the best version of Raven since Wolfman in the 80s. He clearly understand this character, and its funny that you pretend he doesnt. Cant even imagine how you reacted to Teen Titans Rebirth Raven🥴.

We both know that if Raven had these scenes she is having with Gar, with Donna or Kori instead, you wouldn't be saying shit. If Raven was saying "i love you" to Kori, or Donna, you wouldn't be saying shit…that's the funny part about this LMAO. You know your account isn't private, right? How do you expect someone to take your "raven cant express her emotions!!" seriously when we can see what you post? (And we can also read the comics...)

You aren't mad because Taylor doesn't understand Raven, you are mad here because Taylor isn't writing what YOU want.

Raven isnt the same character she was 40 years ago, just like Gar isnt, or just like Batman isnt the same character he was in the 80s or the 60s. Its called character progression(well, Bruce is in a deep whole right now lol). Raven has long passed her days of not being able to express her emotions, but you are saying she should go back to square 1?…

So yeah, I proved Raven in the past years has had more going on that just being Gar's gf. Raven by Tom Taylor has as well been more than "just Gar's supportive gf". And seriously, you were so mad about this that you made 3 posts complaining the same day lmao. You don't like it? STOP. READING. IT instead of reading it just to complain like a damn baby.

All that said, do you think i dont want more solo stuff for Raven?? Its really a shame Howard dropped the ball so hard with that story, a solo story of Raven that will barely mean anything at the end…

And…I dont know, how else would i find out about Raven's new content in this site?…

(seriously tho, you are in the tags, i could just ignore it, just as you could ignore the comics you dont like, but this time i decided i was gonna reply to such a dumb post).

[fandomwe1rd0]

RICK REDEMPTION ARC IS ACTUALLY SO GOOD GUYS LIKE OH MY GOD

Now just to make myself clear, by "redemption" I mean him being a better person, don't get me wrong he's still an abusive, toxic, manipulative, asshole but he's trying you guyssssssss. Like he started going to therapy when he says he doesn't respect therapy in season 3 you guyssssssssss. He's spoiling Morty you guyssssssssssssss. He's treating Morty like an actual human being you guysssssssssss.

Ok onto the actual post- His redemption arc is actually so good omfg- Now to be fair, he's still in the process, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little optimistic about where it's headed, I mean so far it's going really well, he started changing after season 4, which makes sense considering in the finale he said "Holy shit I'm a terrible father." and sat alone in the garage, which is what he deserves but I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry at that scene even though it's exactly what he deserves considering what an asshole he's been in that season. Now after this realization, seeing what a terrible father he truly was, he started changing, for most of season 5 he was still mostly the same ol' Rick. He was still an asshole, was still insulting Morty, y'know much of the same, he wasn't as bad as he was in season 4, but he wasn't exactly good, then then we get to the finale, he actually feels guilt for coming back to Morty after the crows left him, when Morty asked, he couldn't even give Morty a straight answer, he just looked to the ground and sighed. He couldn't even look Morty in the eye. Season 4 Rick would probably just say yes and brush it off with some sarcastic comment, but season 5 Rick couldn't even bring himself to do that.

In season 6 we can see that he stopped his hunt for Rick Prime, even if it was just temporary because Morty sees him as his grandfather and not Rick Prime, you can tell that meant a lot to Rick since his angry expression melted away as soon as Morty said that. (Also yes, this scene makes me cry shut up)

He's also a lot gentler to Morty here, is he perfect? No but a lot of his actions seem more like him being a goofy grandpa then him actually being mean, he gets closer to Jerry, lays off of Morty a bit, and actually puts in effort to spend time with the kid, and he actually goes to therapy on his own accord, sure he didn't want to call it therapy at the beginning but he still kept going even after Dr. Wong said it was therapy and is now going every week, I mean could you imagine season 3 or season 4 Rick going to therapy? Actually scheduling his appointments and paying for therapy? Need I remind you that this is the man who turned himself into a pickle so he doesn't have to go to family therapy? Who pretending he was disintegrating so he wouldn't have to go? Who literally programmed his garage to have a "family therapy mode"? Who programmed the therapist's office with voice activated commands in case he needed to leave? This man, the same man, is going to therapy.

At the end of the season when Morty called him "boring" he regressed and continued his self-destructive hunt for Rick Prime again. Now I may have poked fun at him for this in some of my other posts, but it was more than that, that was the moment where he thought Morty just stopped caring about him. He thought the most important person to him, the only thing holding him back from a mental breakdown *cough* codependency *cough* didn't care about him at all. When we know that's not true, sure Morty lashed out, but he earned the right to after everything Rick put him through. So he left and built a perfect copy of him to take his place. He could've programmed it to be just as mean as him, or even more mean than him. But he literally programmed it to be a good grandpa to, love, and make Morty happy. That was it. He did this for someone who he thought didn't care about, someone he though, in his own words, had become "dogshit" to. Yet he still put in the time and effort to make a robot designed to make Morty happy, when it would've just been easier to just make the robot the same as him. And here's the kicker, when Rickbot reveals it, sure Rick is frustrated and sends Rickbot an angry glare, but he doesn't deny it. Could you imagine season 1-5 Rick doing this? I couldn't. Also in this scene, he manhandles Morty significantly less, I honestly think this may have been the season where he stopped manhandling Morty, correct me if I'm wrong.

Now in season 7, in all the episodes he never treat Morty all too bad. Let's analyze how he treats Morty in each episode shall we?

Episode 1 ~ How Poopy got his poop back

They don't really interact in this episode, Rick just gave Morty a sarcastic response when Morty said "Hey buddy, got you a coffee" and when Morty asked "Have you found him (Rick Prime) yet?" which while it isn't nice, it's better than how he treated Morty in season 4, since he never insults Morty directly.

Episode 2 ~ The Jerrick Trap

Another episode where they don't interact a lot, and when they do it's not really Rick it's like half Jerry half Rick. Buttttt he does have a new "Touch my grandson and die policy" and it's confirmed in that episode that both Rick and Jerry love their family, even if they are horrible at showing it. He does snap at Morty for literally no reason at the end, but still. Comparing it to say, Mortynight Run, the second episode of season 2 where he constantly insults Morty, it shows progress.

Episode 3 ~ Air Force Wong

Again, they don't really interact a lot, man they really ignored Morty in season 7, but he does stand up for Morty when the president insults him, when the president said "Tell Morty to shut up!" Morty says "Tell him he can't talk to me like that!" And season 1-4 Rick would probably just ignore Morty, he actually listens and tells the president "You can't talk to Morty like that." This episode also reveals that he's still going to therapy every week, which is a huge thing!

Episode 4 ~ That's Amorte

He's pretty rude to Morty in this episode, even straight up telling him "The only reason why you're still alive right now, is because you don't turn delicious when you die." Which we all know is a lie, but that doesn't make it better. But I'm pretty sure this was supposed to mirror Mortynight run, which is why I at least found Rick to be pretty out of character in this episode, but he's still physically gentle with Morty, with putting his hand on Morty's back instead of manhandling him like how he would in earlier seasons, and even if it's wrong that he was feeding the family people, he didn't do it out of malicious intent like how most would expect, he just genuinely thought it was good and wanted the family to try it, does that make it right? No, but still. He also (Like everyone else) lost the taste for it when he saw exactly what they were eating.

Episode 5 ~ Unmortricken

Honestly besides his sarcastic comment at the beginning of the episode "Thanks buddy, means a lot that your bar for mental health has gotten lower than mine." and "You should count chickens professionally, Morty." He's pretty sweet to Morty, he was worried for Morty and didn't move until he made sure Morty was ok when they were all in the box, and when he finished making the portal, he made sure Morty got in by pulling him in by his shirt to be sure that Morty was safe, these are all very small details but they say a lot, he also doesn't let Morty come with him because he was worried about him and wanted to keep him away from a very dangerous adventures, which considering that he took Morty on a traumatizing adventure in "Rest and Ricklaxation" It's nice to see that he's actually starting to worry about taking him on dangerous adventures and wants to keep him out of them, this was confirmed when Evil Morty replied "I'm not worried about him, I'm evil!" when Rick angrily said "You brought Morty with you!?" and he even lets Morty hug him without pushing him away

which is a step up from him softly pushing Morty away when Morty attempted to hug him in "Solaricks"

We can also see that he fakes a smile in the end, which is, again leagues above what he would've done in seasons 1-4

Episode 6 ~ Rickfending your Mort

Ahhhh he's so sweet to Morty in this episodeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. We see in this episode that his inner grandpa comes out with Morty and that he spoils Morty, he gives Morty basically whatever he asks for with no resistance or complaining. They do argue, but Rick really mellowed down and didn't insult Morty like at all during the argument, really the only insulting things he did was when he called Morty a little gremlin and accused Morty of lying about the punch cards. Even when Morty fessed up, he didn't rub his nose in it or brag about it like usual. He just said one thing "Hah! Can we playback that confession?" but that was it, and he still accepted the punch cards anyway and is extremely excited when him and Morty are going on adventures again, and smiles when he sees Morty excited about another gun, don't give guns to kids. But when Rick does it, it's his way of spoiling Morty, he just doesn't really know how, but he's tryinggggggggg. He also genuinely thanks Morty for keeping him on track with the punch cards instead of giving some back-handed thank you like how he did in season 1 episode 10. which is nice to see. He also is genuinely bonding with Morty with the pet cemetery scene.

Episode 7 ~ Wet Kaut Summer

Another one without many Rick and Morty interactions...man Morty gets pushed away a lot, butttt we do see more of him spoiling Morty, which is always welcome, and he does try to get Morty back which is sweet, I also thought him bragging to Summer about how he saves Morty a lot was kinda cute in a pathetic way "I save Morty 8 times per season!" We also see him be nice to Summer and open up to her about Diane "I treat you like an equal because I respect you! You remind me of your grandmother."

Episode 8 ~ Rise of the Numericons the Movie

Eh this one was just a weird fever dream, Rick wasn't in this episode like...at all. He wasn't even mentioned once.

Episode 9 ~ 90s fad toys

Rick is just really sweet to Morty here, when Morty messed up by releasing Bigfoot, he seems more worried about how him and Morty will get home rather than mad, and listens to Morty explain without interrupting, unlike other seasons the only mean thing he says was "I could probably teach these idiots how to hit a red button!" which is really pretty mild considering some of the other stuff he said during his arguments with Morty in seasons 1-4 including but not limited to: "You're a piece of shit Morty!" "I'll let you know when I have a point, and the world will know when I try to hurt you!" "Morty, you little lying world-ending pervert!" "I'm really glad you insisted on getting that Fart home, at least all the death and destruction wasn't for nothing y'know?" "I'm going to take a biggg fat Morty, that's my new word for shit due to today's events." "Okay Morty, you big party-pooper buzzkill! Boo!" and is pretty sweet to Morty during his fight with Bigfoot, even encouraging Morty not to help him due to a fear of Morty getting hurt, even when he was getting brutally beaten "Don't worry Morty, I got this under control" and he even cried in front of Morty instead of pretending like he has no emotions, which is a lot more significant when you consider that Morty was the only person (In the smith family at the very least) to see Rick cry

Episode 10 ~ Fear No Mort

Rick isn't in this episode for the majority of it, since this is a Morty centric episode! Finally! Buttt we do see that he brought Morty to a carnival just to spend time with and see a haunted house with Morty, that was literally it.

He also eats with Morty at Dennys (Well was about to before they hear about the fear hole) and really only said two mean things to Morty "You little turd!" when Morty actively didn't listen to Rick, which is a step up from season 6 considering he didn't just ditch Morty and replace himself with a robot. "I mean...define 'irreplaceable'" when Morty asked if he was irreplaceable. But he did sounds genuinely happy and excitied when Morty was back, happily calling out his name as soon as he moved, and he doesn't immediately backtrack on sounding happy or smiling which is a step up from season 1 episode 9 Something Ricked this Way Comes where he was happy, but immediately backpedaled and tried his best to sound like an annoyed grandpa. and he did attempt to awkwardly hug Morty back after Morty hugged him, it was half assed but he still tried. He didn't even seem mad when Morty pushed away, he looked more worried that he messed up more than anything. Also yes, this does still bring me pain.

AND WE LITERALLY SEE THAT HE NOT ONLY LISTENS TO MORTY'S ADVICE BUT ALSO HAS A PICTURE OF MORTY IN HIS WALLET AND LOOKED SO PROUD OF HIM! HE ALSO CHOOSES MORTY OVER A FAKE VERSION OF DIANE

Uh so yeah Rick's redemption arc is amazing, and no I do not regret that I spent an embarrassing amount of time gushing over an abusive old man's redemption arc.

[valictini]

How I wish the dragon tears quest had concluded and impacted the rest of the game without changing too much of what nintendo gave us (FULL endgame spoilers ahead)

First of all, I got inspired by a comment under a YouTube video and I fully agree with this idea: Impa could have just told Link to not divulge what happened to Zelda while she tries to figure out if there's a way to get her back. The justification behind it would be that not only it would shoot everyone's morale, but it could also create a political disaster if we randomly announced that Hyrule had no ruler anymore.

Impa could have transmitted the message to Purah so she can make her own research. Purah could have a unique dialog where she acknowledges that even though it probably won't get Zelda back, Link should still investigate the strange happenings around Hyrule, just in case.

Impa would actually be in Kakariko Village as soon as we finish the quest!! Idk why they didn't do this in the first place!!

When visiting the different regions, we'd have the same dialog and events, except we'd get a unique dialog where each future sage remarks that Link seems unenthusiastic about their search for "Zelda". Link being sworn to secrecy, and the sages being polite, they'd probably cut it short and apologise for prying or something.

When you finish each temple, they all remark that maybe it wasn't Zelda. Cue, another unique dialog where they ask Link if it's why he seemed reserved about this mission.

When we finish the regional quests, Purah tells Link that they didn't find anything yet, and maybe they should reveal the truth to the others for their input.

So they do just that and!! They have!! An actual!! Emotional response!! When they all learn the truth!!

Like holy shit was it just me or did they move on from this very quickly? Aren't they supposed to be friends? Idk man, maybe it was because I had been waiting for this moment for hours but it felt really underwhelming.

Finally, after getting Mineru, we could have Impa and Purah announce to Link that they might have an idea: taking inspiration from Purah's experiments with age regression, they could possibly make a machine on a larger scale that would revert Zelda's age and hopefully get her back into a human. (still baffled that Purah's age experiment is just a background joke at this point, so why not make it actually relevant!!) They warn Link that it would take years to develop such technology and it could not work in the end so he shouldn't get his hopes up etc

Purah also remarks that if only they could somehow boost the time reversion power in Link's arm, it would be so much simpler. But alas, such amount of power seems impossible to acquire (wink wink)

She concludes by saying that unfortunately, all Link can do for now is fulfill Zelda's wish and kill Ganondorf once and for all.

Finally, thanks to all this foreshadowing, when we beat Ganondorf and get the cutscene where we see Rauru and Sonia boost Link's powers to revert Zelda, it wouldnt feel like such a Deus ex Machina anymore!!

(I mean, canonically they use both time and light but honestly i struggle to understand why they needed to specify that. At least in this version, they could have just said they boosted only the time power and simply kept it as a reference to the scene where Sonia and Zelda boosted Rauru's light powers to beat the moldugas)

As someone who finished the dragon tears quest line before I even started my second dungeon, I can't tell you how immersion breaking it was to have everyone chasing an obviously fake Zelda without being able to say anything.

It feels like such a huge oversight. I don't even understand how the Devs managed to give unique dialogs to every NPC depending on weather/what you wear etc and NOT think about players who'd finish this questline before the rest. So here's a simple but satisfying way that they could have done it IN MY OPINION

[favcharacterpoll]

ROUND 4 MATCH 14: BENDY VS. HOWL

Nurse Bendy from Moral Orel faces Howl from Howl's Moving Castle. Who do you like more?

Bendy Propaganda:

"I haven't seen Moral Orel, but Nurse Bendy is kind of apathetic to the world around her as she seems to have learned that it is cruel and the best way to deal with it is not to care too much. Her home life is her making believe that she has a perfect living family. Spoilers, she eventually connects with her child she didn't get to raise and they seem to have a nice relationship."

"ok but i think we need more bendy propaganda. her episode in s3 about her experince with csa and age regression literally got the show cancelled for being 'too mature' TOO MATURE. for adult swim. she did this her character for the first two seasons is 'apathetic slut who only vaguely cares about the kids she nurses for' and then. and then. i mean ok alone is about three women who have experienced seperate issues with their sexuality. and that is the episode that got the show cancelled but. fuck her section of it was. uncomfortably hard hitting. holy shit. and YEAH her kid... her kid has behavioural issues himself from his childhood. and you have a moment of 'holy shit she cant have been more than 16 when she had him' its a fucking show man it will change you. and she is so so important"

Howl Propaganda:

"He’s the best twink (he beat up Luke Skywalker)"

"I’m sorry guys… team Howl all the way"

"sorry wally. but it’s fucking howl"

"he's a sad, pathetic, draft-dodging wizard man who gives you gender envy and deserves a win. you know what to do. vote howl."

"Vote howl he's hot. End of propaganda"

[clementine-writes-things]

Protect & Love - E.N

Summary: Being close friends in the orphanage, y/n and Edward move in together after leaving it. They eventually get in a relationship. Edward knows y/n has lots of trauma, has abandonment issues, and is very dependent, but he loves them very much. He wants to be with them for the rest of his life. He'll protect her always.

(I got inspo for this after seeing that scene from Ruby Sparks where she cries when he lets go of her hand. I haven't seen the entire movie, but ik that Calvin is AN ASSHOLE! So, this fanfic is NOT about any of that. It is only about y/n being safe with Edward and Edward taking care of her.)

(A/N: This is based on what I know about age-re and my personal experiences with it. I know not every one's experience with it is the same. So, keep that in mind while reading <3)

ALSO HOLY FUCK THIS WHOLE FANFIC IS SO CUTE I'M PISSING PLUTONIUM ELEMENT ^v^

Content Warning: Y/n is an age regressor (regresses to like around 10-11 years old), explicit language, trauma, drugs, alcohol, abandonment issues, angst, fluff, panic attacks, PTSD, Edward being a great friend and partner, AFAB!Reader, she/her pronouns. (rare moment for me not to make y/n gay in some way.)

Word Count:

Songs For Inspo:

daydreaming - Rebzyyx, horrormovies

La Vie en rose - Edith Piaf

Wanderings - Mook

Love Like You - Rebecca Sugar

rises the moon - Liana Flores

Kids - Current Joys

~Read Below Cut~

(also, idk shit about orphanages so i will most likely get how they work VERY wrong. pls don't take any offensive from how i write it <3 im doing my best pookies)

~

"Children, gather around now! Come on, hurry up! We have a new friend joining our home."

The children in the room all huddled up around Sister Addams. Edward stood in the back, not wanting to deal with wiggling through the crowd of kids. He didn't like being in big crowds. Instead, he stood on his tippy toes, trying to get a good look at who was joining the orphanage.

"This is y/n! I trust that you'll all make her feel comfortable. Go on, y/n. Say something about yourself." Sister Addams encouraged.

Edward couldn't see her too well, even on the tips of his toes. But, eventually, he found a little crack of space that he could see her through. She looked really skinny and frail, just like him. But, so did everyone else in the orphanage really. A brown teddy bear was held tightly to her chest, as if it was her form of life support.

'She's pretty...'

"Um, I like...um...ponies?" She mumbled.

"Ponies! Isn't that nice? I'm sure you'll find other girls that like ponies too. Your bed is at the very far left end, near the window." She said.

Y/n nodded as Sister Addams left the room. Some children stared at her for a little while longer before walking away, while others left immediately after. She stayed standing there for a little while longer. Once the crowd dispersed, Edward could see her more clearly now. She wore a yellow sundress with white knee socks bunched around her ankles. It looked like she was crying. Pushing up his glasses, he walked towards her.

"Hi, I'm Edward." He said, holding his hand out.

Y/n looked at him, bear still held tightly to her chest. After a little bit, she held out one hand and shook his. She found a handshake to be extremely formal for their age.

"How old are you?" Edward asked.

"I'm 10..."

"Me too."

Y/n looked down at the floor, gripping the bear tight again. She wiped away her tears with the back of her arm. Edward stood awkwardly, glancing around the room. He didn't really know what to do about her crying.

"Why are you sad?"

"My p-parents were mean to me. I g-got taken aw-way from them..." She said between soft cries.

Edward noticed how she fidgeted with the ear of the stuffed animal. Perhaps that was a stuffed animal from when she lived with her parents.

"I'm sorry that they were mean. I don't know my parents." He said bluntly.

"Y-You don't have parents?" She asked, curiously.

"Well, I do. I just don't know where they are...or who they are."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Y/n trailed.

Edward pointed at her face; more specifically her eyes. Y/n looked at his finger, going cross-eyed as she did so. He smiled and dropped his hand back down.

"I like your eyes. They're pretty."

Y/n blushed, smiling softly.

"Thanks, I like your glasses. They look cool. I bet you can see everything with them!" She giggled.

"I don't think it's possible to see everything. A human's peripheral vision isn't that wide." He stated.

"You're silly." Y/n said.

"Thank you?"

~

After that first interaction, the two kids became inseparable. They were best friends till the very end. Edward was literally the only person y/n ever hung out with. She didn't get along with anyone else. Plus, Edward was the only one who talked to her when she came to the orphanage. She was alone, abandoned by her family, hurt, and he was there to make her feel welcome. Needless to say, she got attached to him quickly. As they got older, around 14, that's when Edward started to realize that y/n had severe trauma. Who could blame her? He was a smart kid, always reading books on information that seemed unimportant, and one of the books he read was on psychology. He deducted that y/n had abandonment issues, which was justifiable seeing as what she went through. When they were both 16, there was one thing that y/n did that he found an answer for after reading some of Freud's work. Though, he didn't really need a book to understand what it was.

~

Edward and y/n sat at the cafeteria tables, the only ones sitting at the table they were at. No one ever sat with them, but they didn't really care. In fact, they favored the privacy. Looking up from his 'food' Edward noticed y/n had barely eaten anything. He sighed, leaning over the table slightly and moved her tray to get her attention. She had been spaced out the entire time.

"Hey, you need to eat something. Ok?" He said.

Y/n snapped out of her daze, fidgeting with the bear on her lap. She carried it around with her everywhere. Everyone in the orphanage made fun of her for it. But, it was something that brought a lot of comfort to her. Edward didn't mind it. He found comfort in books and y/n found comfort in a stuffed animal. What was the big deal?

"M' not really that hungry..." She murmured.

Edward scoffed softly, rubbing his hand over his forehead in frustration. He grabbed the fork and her hand, placing it on her palm. She looked up at him, eyes big and just as pretty as they were when he first saw her.

"Eat. Please? Just a few bites at least." He asked.

Y/n sighed, but gave in. She took a bite of her food, and Edward smiled. He was glad that she was eating. After a few more bites, she put the fork back down. He wanted to tell her to eat more, but he was just glad she ate something. Edward looked at her a little more closely, seeing how she was positioned and acting.

"Are you ok?" Edward questioned.

She shook her head, looking down at her lap. He wasn't quite sure what was wrong with her. Edward leaned forward, elbows propped on the table. She was picking at the fuzz on the bear; something she did when she was nervous or uncomfortable. He picked up on it immediately.

"Oh, is it...are you...?" He asked quietly, not wanting to draw attention to them.

She nodded.

"Um, ok. Do you want to go back to our room?" He asked.

She nodded again. Edward could tell that she was extremely uncomfortable. It was pretty obvious now. He stood up and picked his tray up.

"Are you done eating?"

Y/n nodded. Edward picked up her tray and placed it on top of his. He started to walk away, but y/n grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. Stopping, he turned around and looked down at her. He sighed. She didn't want him to leave her alone.

"Well, come with me then." He said.

Y/n stood up, holding one of the bear's arms in her hand tightly as she walked next to him. People stared at her, making her feel like she was in the spotlight. Everyone in the orphanage thought that Edward and y/n were the strangest kids in the building. So, when they stood next to each other, everyone looked. Why wouldn't they? They all wanted a look at the freaks. The two of them did their best to ignore it though as Edward put the trays on the counter. Quickly, they left the lunchroom and turned the corner. Within a minute, they were back in their room. Y/n walked to her bed and sat down on it, legs drawn up to her chest as her head hung between her knees. Edward grabbed a book from under his bed and walked over to her. He sat down on the foot of the bed, facing her as he opened up his book. This was a frequent thing that happened with y/n. Edward had concluded from observing (and sneaking onto the computer in the library for research) that y/n age regressed. It was a coping mechanism, no doubt to help her cope with her childhood trauma. She felt embarrassed of it, not wanting to be around anyone when it happened. Well, other than Edward. He wouldn't make fun of her. He didn't think it was weird. He actually helped her when it happened.

"Do you need to be alone or do you want company?" He asked, flipping through the book he had.

"Company." She said simply.

"Ok. Do you want to read with me?"

Y/n wiped a tear away from her eye, sniffling. She brought her head up, looking at what he was reading. The title said 'Frankenstein'. Y/n pointed at the cover of the book, tapping it multiple times. She wanted to say something, but she couldn't figure out how to say it. Edward gave her time.

"Is this the book where that guy makes that monster?" She asked finally.

"Yeah, I like it a lot. I've read it multiple times." He said.

"I wanted to read it." Y/n said.

"Want me to read it to you?" Edward suggested.

Y/n nodded, sitting next to him and resting her head on his shoulder. Once she was settled, he opened up the book. He was already more than halfway through, but he'd start over for her. He didn't mind. His fingers flipped through the pages until he found the first chapter. Adjusting his glasses, he cleared his throat before starting to read.

"To Mrs. Saville, England..."

~

The two of them kept going in and out of foster homes. No one ever wanted to 'keep' them. But, to be honest, they were ok with that. They didn't like being apart from each other. Every time y/n would come back, she would run into Edward's arms and cry. She would tell him how much she missed him and that she didn't want to leave him ever again. He felt so bad for her. Edward was certain that no one could take care of her quite like he could. He was the only one who knew her well. Well, eventually, Edward turned 18. Oh, y/n was a wreck. But, they had already made a plan.

~

"Hey, hey, it's ok! Your birthday is in a few months. You can hang in for a few more months, right?" He said gently, hugging her close to his chest.

"No I can't! Don't le-leave me!" She sobbed.

"I can't stay. You know that." Edward sighed.

He pushed y/n off of him, grabbing her shoulders. The poor thing had tears streaming down her face. How would she survive without him? Edward had always been there for her for almost 8 years straight. The people in the orphanage were so mean to her too. He wiped away her tears.

"Remember our plan? I was already given a job at KTMJ. While I'm out, I'll get an apartment for us. And when you turn 18, I'll be right behind those doors waiting for you. I promise you." He said.

Y/n sniffled, clearing her throat as she looked down at the ground. She sighed, holding back more tears from pouring out. Edward smiled at her as she looked back up at him. She had small grin on her face.

"Y-You're really smart, Eddie. Already ha-have a job and you haven't e-even left yet. You've got e-everything planned out..." She lightly chuckled.

"Of course I do, you know I'm a planner."

"Can I have one more hug?" She asked softly.

Edward nodded, giving her a tight hug for the millionth time. She wrapped her arms around his neck, letting out a shaky breath. Maybe if she never let go he would never have to leave. No, of course that wouldn't work. He had to go. She had to push through.

"Ok, I'll be ok..." She told herself as she pulled away from the hug.

"Yeah, you're brave and strong. You've got this." He reassured.

Edward picked up his suitcase that had his belongings in it. It wasn't much of course. He gave y/n another smile, ruffling her hair up. She swatted his hand away, glaring at him. Holding up his hands in defense, he walked towards the doors that left the orphanage. Y/n watched him leave, giving him a wave before he left her alone in the building.

'Now what?'

~

Well, Edward had kept his promise. When y/n was let go from the orphanage, he was outside waiting for her. She ran to him and practically jumped into his arms. From an outsiders perspective, it would look like they were a couple. But, they weren't. They were just really good friends. But, both of them would be lying if they said they didn't have feelings for the other. Regardless, Edward brought y/n to the apartment he had got for them. He could only afford a one bedroom apartment. Y/n understood, she didn't really have a problem with it. But, Edward being the gentleman he was let her sleep in his bed while he slept on the couch. Y/n looked for a job, though she had difficulty finding a good one. It was so hard for her to go out and be around other people. She was socially awkward and got so nervous so easily. But, she ended up landing a job as a barista at a coffee shop. Cliche? Sure. Did she care? No. She just wanted a job so she could help with rent. She was starting to get adjusted to life outside the orphanage, she could finally be in a comfortable setting, and she was living with her best friend. How could things get any better?

~

Edward and y/n sat at the table near the kitchen. The both of them had had a long day at work. Y/n yawned, taking a bite of her cereal. Yep, cereal for dinner once again. A meal for champions. That's what she liked to call it.

"Hey, y/n?" Edward said.

She looked up from her bowl, a dribble of the milk trickling from the corner of her mouth. Edward chuckled, placing his spoon down in the bowl. He leaned forward and used his thumb to wipe away the milk, giving her a soft smile. Y/n giggled at the action. Edward sighed, he wasn't really sure how to ask the question he so desperately wanted to ask. So, he decided to just be blunt with it.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked.

Y/n's eyes widened, dropping her spoon in the bowl. Edward's eyes widened too, glancing around the room awkwardly. She nodded frantically, a huge smile plastered on her face. He gave a sigh of relief internally. Thank heavens. Because of how close they sat to each other, y/n grabbed his hand and entwined it with hers. She hummed, resting her cheek on the back of his hand. Edward watched her closely, seeing how comfortable she was around him. It made him happy to know that he could make her feel safe. He looked down to the newspaper in front of him, looking over the daily crossword. Y/n reached over and grabbed his pencil. Raising an eyebrow, he watched as she filled in 20 across. The hint was "a thing that becomes terrifying or destructive to its maker; a movie; a book". When she pulled away from the paper and placed the pencil on the table, he read what she wrote down.

'Frankenstein'

Grinning from ear to ear, he looked over at her. Pride was evident on his face, and y/n could see it. She so dearly loved when he was proud of her. He was the only person in her life that ever felt proud of her.

"Well look at you go! You smart cookie, you."

Y/n shrugged, resting her cheek back on his hand. Edward hummed to himself as he filled out the rest of the crossword puzzle. It took him a little under two minutes. It was a fairly easy crossword puzzle; at least for him it was. With a goofy grin on his face, he asked a question.

"Does this mean I can sleep in my bed again? With you?"

She nodded happily.

"Thank God..."

~

Edward knew that y/n was a bit of a handful. He had been 'dealing' with her for 8 years. But, he didn't really see it as a problem. He loved who she was. Yeah, she was different, but he loved that about her. He knew that she struggled with her trauma, but he wanted to help her with it. When you love someone, you'd do anything for them. That's exactly how Edward was. Usually, he was a very shy person, hating PDA and not wanting any attention brought onto him. But, now that he was dating her, PDA was inevitable. He now loved PDA. Granted, it wasn't like they were making out in public, except for that one time. Rather, they were always holding hands. Y/n was always in Edward's arms. He never let her out of his sight.

~

-PRESENT-

~

Y/n was in the 'lobby' of Edward's office. The receptionist casted glances at her occasionally. Looking at the nameplate, y/n saw that it said 'Amy Tompkins'. Standing up, y/n walked over to her and waved. Amy hesitantly waved back with a small smile.

"Hi! I'm y/n!" She said, holding out her hand.

Amy raised an eyebrow, but took her hand and shook it.

"Nice to meet you y/n, I'm Amy."

"Oh, I know! I read the plate! I just wanted to ask, is your job hard?" She asked, propping her elbows on the raised counter.

Tompkins smirked, amused at the question. When y/n had walked in earlier, she mentioned that she was just waiting for Edward to get off of work. People at the office had heard that Edward Nashton had a girlfriend, but they didn't really believe it. And now that Amy was actually seeing her, she was surprised. For Edward Nashton's girlfriend, they sure seemed to be the complete opposite of him.

"Uh, not really no. I mean, sometimes our clients can be...a bit rude...but other than that it's pretty easy." She answered.

"Hmph, I hate customer service so much." Y/n sighed.

"You work in customer service?" Amy asked.

"Yeah, I'm a barista."

"Oh, so you really get cranky customers, don't you?" She laughed.

Y/n groaned, nodding her head.

"You have no idea..."

Amy chuckled, looking down at the computer as she typed something. Y/n hummed to herself, glancing at the clock. Only a few more minutes before Edward got off of work. She glanced over her shoulders, as if she was trying to be sneaky about something. Y/n cupped a hand over her mouth.

"Do you have candy? I've heard receptionists usually have candies out." She whispered.

Amy couldn't help but let a giggle out. She nodded, grabbing a cute glass jar that had individually wrapped chocolates in it. Y/n's eyes widened. She had rarely ever had chocolate her entire life since she grew up in the orphanage. It was like a rare delicacy to her. Gotham's orphanages weren't the best when it came to taking care of kids.

"Oh my gosh...can I...can I have some?" She asked.

The receptionist nodded, pushing the bowl closer to her. Usually, she would be annoyed if someone was talking this much to her. But, y/n was actually really sweet and entertaining. Plus, she was extremely bored and got off work in a few minutes. Who cared, really?

"Have at it. You can take all of them if you want. I have to get new candy anyways." Amy said.

"No way! Are you serious! Like, for real!?"

"Yeah, help yourself."

Y/n didn't hesitate to grab a huge handful of the chocolates. Amy watched in amusement as y/n scooped the candy into her coat pocket. The door that led to the cubicles opened, and Edward stepped out. He was surprised to see y/n there because she was supposed to be at work still. But, then he remembered that she had the day off, so it made sense to him. His eyes landed on her hand in the candy jar and he looked at Amy. The receptionist had a dorky smile on her face.

"Eddie! Did you know they have chocolate here!? I can't even remember the last time I've had chocolate! Let alone see it!" She exclaimed.

Edward smiled awkwardly at Amy, stepping forward and grabbing y/n's hand. He propped his forearms up onto the counter as he looked at the receptionist. Y/n rested her head against his shoulder, getting the rest of the pieces of chocolate from the bowl and putting them in her pockets.

"Hey Amy, I know you're leaving soon, but could you do me a favor? Please?" He asked.

Amy smiled at the sight of Edward rubbing his thumbs over y/n's knuckles. She was a very romantic person and it warmed her heart to see the kind act. Plus, she had always been fond of Edward. People at work were far too mean to him when he was just a very kind person. She was glad to see that he had found happiness.

"Yeah, whaddya need?"

"Can you print out the files for the Wynn account? I would have printed them out myself, but I swear the printer in the copy room never has ink." He sighed.

"Yeah, no problem Ed."

Amy started to type on the keyboard, clicking with the mouse as she pulled up the files for the account. With another click, she had the papers printed out. Standing up from her chair, she walked over to the printer and waited for the pages to finish. Edward leaned over to his side, planting a kiss on y/n's head. She smiled, opening up one of the chocolate wrappers and popping the sweet treat in her mouth.

"Holy fuck this shit is so good!" She groaned.

Edward nudged her foot with his own. He had no problem with cussing, but they weren't really in an appropriate setting to cuss. She blushed, feeling embarrassed. Amy laughed, nodding her head as she attached the pages together with a paperclip and handed it to Edward.

"I know, that's kind of why I gave them all to you. If I eat anymore I swear I might pop." She joked.

"Thanks for the copies, Amy."

Edward nudged y/n again. Y/n knew what he was trying to communicate to her. She finished eating the chocolate as fast as she could.

"Thanks for the chocolate!" She smiled.

"No problem, you guys get home safe ok? I'll see you on Monday, Edward."

He walked towards the door, hand still entwined with y/n's as he waved to Amy. Y/n popped another chocolate in her mouth as Edward opened up the door.

"See you on Monday." He said.

The two of them walked out the door and made their way to the stairs. Y/n wanted to hop down over steps, but she held onto Edward's hand instead. She had missed him a lot all day. He looked over at her, seeing that she was eating another piece of chocolate. Shaking his head, he let out a breathy laugh.

"That was awfully nice of her to give you those chocolates. But, you know you can't eat them all tonight, right?" He asked.

Y/n looked at him, popping another chocolate in her mouth. He raised an eyebrow. She shrugged at him.

"Why not?" She asked.

"You're going to get extremely sick." He chuckled.

"That's a price I'm willing to pay." Y/n retorted.

"Oh yeah? Ok, well when you're puking later on I'll remind you that you said that." He rolled his eyes, opening up the front door to the building.

The two of them walked down to the subway, sitting on a bench and waiting for a train. Y/n dug into her bag with the hand that wasn't holding Edwards and grabbed her phone. She turned it on, put in her password, and showed it to Edward. He adjusted his glasses, looking at what was on the screen. He smiled when he realized what it was.

"There were two pigeons just hanging out outside of our apartment! It was so cute! Look, they're cuddling!" She said, shoving it in his face.

"Uh, well I can't really see it this close up." He said.

"Oh, yeah, oops." She said, pulling the phone away slightly.

"That's a cute picture though." He said, kissing her on the forehead.

The train arrived shortly after and the two of them got on it. Y/n yawned, using Edward's hand to cover her mouth as they both sat down. He smiled, letting go of her hand and placing it on her knee as he looked at his phone.

"You tired?" He asked.

The train started to move and Edward held onto her knee firmly so she didn't slide. He did that every single time. He would hold her hip and keep her close to him if they were standing and he would place his hand on her knee if they were sitting down. Edward was far from strong, but he did feel very protective over her. Living in Gotham was far from safe, so you always had to keep an eye out. But, no matter how many times he told that to y/n, she just couldn't seem to understand it. She was too friendly for her own good. So, he had to be extra careful for both of them. He did not consider himself to be a violent person, but if y/n was ever put in a bad situation, he was certain he would pulverize someone.

"A little, yeah..." She sighed.

"Well, maybe you should take a nap?" He suggested.

She nodded, yawning again as she laid on her side. Her head rested on his lap as she drew her knees to her chest. Edward smirked, amused at how eager she was to nap. He did not mean that she should nap at this very moment. But, as he saw her resting on his lap, he couldn't bring himself to move her. People were no doubt staring at the both of them, but he honestly did not care. Edward had seen far stranger things in Gotham's subways than someone taking a nap on someone's lap. He put his hand on her head, brushing his fingers through her hair as he went on his phone.

~

The train had stopped and the two of them had gotten off. Edward had to wake y/n up before that, and she was pretty grumpy. But, he told her that she could go right back to taking a nap when they got home. Just like he always did, he held onto her hand securely as they exited the subway station. Their apartment building was only a block away now. Y/n popped another piece of chocolate into her mouth, making Edward frown.

"Seriously, you should stop eating those. You're going to regret it later." He said.

"Are you threatening me, Edward Nashton?" She questioned.

"No, I'm just stating a fact. I know you. You like to eat a lot of candy, say that you'll be fine, and then you get really sick later on. Every. Single. Time."

"Ugh, fine. Whatever..." She grumbled.

He kissed her on the head.

"Thank you, sweetie."

Edward continued walking with her, but stopped when he felt his pocket was empty. Furrowing his eyebrows, he turned around. He groaned in irritation, looking back at y/n. He brought her over to the less crowded part of the sidewalk.

"I dropped my keys back there. Stay right here ok? I'll be right back." He said.

Y/n watched as he rounded the corner. But, as soon as he did that, people started walking towards her as well. She felt crowded and she pressed herself to the brick wall of the building. It was as if the wall of a dam broke and the water was flowing out rapidly. Her chest tightened and she felt her breathing pick up. It was a little sad how easily she got overwhelmed and anxious. But, to be fair, the streets of Gotham were overwhelming to almost everyone. She was just unable to process it alone. There was a reason she got a job at the closest place to their apartment. It was because she didn't want to have to take the subway or walk far. Only when it was absolutely necessary. She was trying to get better at it, but it took time. She felt like she was suffocating. She looked around, trying to find Edward. But, because of her spinning around, she got a little confused. The crowds of people made her feel like she was lost in a maze. Desperate to get out of the confining swarm of bodies, she ran into the nearest alley way. She panted, holding a hand over her heart as she tried to catch her breath. Being in that crowd reminded her of when she was with her parents. They would take her to 'crack houses', as they were both heavy addicts. They had no one else to watch her, so she had to tag along with them a lot. The houses were always so crowded and overwhelmed her. Often times, her parents would leave her alone in a room so they could shoot up in the other room. How polite...they didn't want their daughter seeing them get high. But, of course, they would bring her to a house full of drug addicts. There were so many times that she would almost step on or touch a needle. One of the people there even tried to get her to 'eat' a sliver of meth, telling her that it was candy. She didn't though. She was smarter than that.

"Y/n?! Y/n! Where are you?!" Edward called out.

She sunk down to her butt, bringing her knees up to her chest. When she got scared or was put into a scenario that reminded her of her traumatic childhood, she would regress. It was unpreventable. She could tell that it was happening, and that made her even more scared because she was out in the streets of Gotham while it was happening. She was so caught up in her emotions that she never even heard Edward call for her. Frantically, Edward came into the alley and looked around. His eyes widened as he saw y/n sitting on the ground. He was relieved to see her, but he was also worried. Walking over, he crouched down and placed a hand on her shoulder. She flinched, burying her head in between her knees. Just like she did in the orphanage. He gently embraced her in a hug, drawing her to his chest as he cradled her head.

"I was so scared when I couldn't find you..." He sighed.

"You let go of my hand!" She cried.

Edward felt a pang in his heart. She was right. That was a stupid thing that he did. He easily could have just brought her with him. Why didn't he? Even he didn't know. He helped her stand up, still holding her close to his chest. She sobbed into his shirt, gripping the fabric tightly. Edward scolded himself as he rubbed her back.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I don't know why I let go of you. It was really crowded today, and I know it scares you. But, I have you right now, ok? You're ok now." He cooed, planting a kiss on her head.

She didn't say anything. All she did was cry into his shirt. God, did that make him feel like a total piece of shit. Of course he didn't mean to scare her. He just wasn't thinking. Edward continued to rub her back as she cried. He could tell what was happening. She had gotten so overwhelmed and scared that she regressed to help herself calm down. It wasn't working that well, though. But, he was quick to help out.

"Sweet girl, I know that you're still shaken up, but we can't stay here all night. We need to get back home, ok?" He said.

"I don't want to go back out..." She hiccupped.

Edward pushed her away from the hug and crouched down. He looked up into her eyes as he held her hands in his own. Bringing them to his lips, he kissed them softly. His eyes were so kind and gentle behind his clear framed glasses.

"We have to baby. I promise I'll hold you the entire time."

She sniffled, wiping a few tears away that had trickled down her cheeks. Y/n looked out to the sidewalks. People still walked by, but it was less than before. She took a deep breath, letting it out through pursed lips. Edward tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"When we get back home we can watch a movie or a show if you want. We can relax alllll day. Doesn't that sound nice?" Edward asked sweetly.

"Yeah..."

"Well, if you want to do that then we need to get home. So, can you go back out with me? I can't go out without you." He frowned.

"You ca-can't?" She asked.

"No way! I get scared out in the crowd too! I feel a lot better when you're holding my hand." Edward smiled.

This was partially true and also just something he said to encourage y/n. Edward was perfectly fine walking through the crowded sidewalks of Gotham. He did get overwhelmed sometimes and had to take a breather, but he was mostly fine. He only said that because he knew that it would make y/n want to go back out more. Edward felt that they would be safer out in the street than an alley way.

"O-Ok, let's go. But, don't let go of my hand!" She said.

Edward grabbed her hand tightly, holding it up so she could see it. She smiled as he pretended he was locking a padlock. He mimed the act of tossing the key away. Looking back to her he gave a goofy grin.

"It's locked. I couldn't even let go if I tried."

They walked back out onto the sidewalk, making their way towards the apartment quickly. Y/n looked at him and giggled.

"Well, how are you going to unlock it?" She asked.

As they walked, Edward patted himself down with his free hand. He looked in the pockets of his coat, the pockets of his pants, and he shrugged. But, he squinted at y/n. He tapped on her chin, motioning for her to open her mouth. He pretended to grab something off her tongue. He 'held' it up between his two fingers.

"Why were you trying to eat the spare key?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I did not! You're not even holding anything!" She laughed.

"Pfft, you're ruining the magic of it." He rolled his eyes.

Before they knew it, they arrived at the apartment building. Y/n sighed in relief as they stepped inside. The sound of the hustle and bustle outside was deafened as the door closed behind them. Edward, still holding her hand, led her up the stairs to the floor they lived on. He fumbled with the keys for a little bit, but he eventually unlocked the door and opened it up. Y/n let go of his hand as she walked inside, so she could hang up her coat. After that, she went to the couch and faceplanted on it. Edward chuckled, removing his shoes and locking the apartment door. Truth be told, he was completely exhausted from his day at work. His 'higher ups' were as ignorant and boastful as always. His job was easy to him, but the people he had to deal with made it difficult. However, y/n always kept him in a cheerful and positive mood. It was nice to be able to come home from work and spend time with his best friend/partner. Edward walked over to her, grabbing her feet to take her shoes off. Once he did that for her, he put them next to his. He could tell that she was still very tired, and no doubt still in a regressed state. Edward went to her coat, grabbing the chocolate out of the pocket before he forgot. Walking into the kitchen, he opened up the door to the freezer and put the chocolates inside of it. Chocolate was always better when it was cold.

"Do you want to watch a show or movie? Or do you want to take a nap?" He asked, going back towards her.

Y/n mumbled into the couch, nodding her head. Edward sighed, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants as he looked at her. She raised her hands up, shaking them frantically. He rolled his eyes playfully, he sat down on the long part of the 'L' couch. Groaning softly, he reached over and grabbed y/n, placing her on his other side so that she was wedged between him and the armrest of the couch. She buried her face in his chest, hiking her leg up over his waist. Edward reached over and grabbed a light blanket, draping it over y/n's body.

"You never gave me an answer, baby. Do you want to take a nap or watch something?" He asked..

"I wanna watch something." She mumbled, her cheek against his chest.

"Ok, well what did you have in mind?" He asked.

She shrugged her shoulders, snuggling up closer to him. He sighed, trailing his hand under the blanket to rub her back. Edward took her silence as a way to say she didn't really care what they watched. So, he decided to put on a 'Forensic Files'. How original. After placing the remote down on the side table next to the couch, he stroked y/n's hair. She sat up almost instantly afterwards. Edward looked at her, raising an eyebrow. Without saying a word, she went into their bedroom. Edward's hands were slightly in the air, like he was shocked.

"Um, what ever happened to saying bye?" He asked jokingly.

Y/n came back to the couch, cuddling up to Edward just like she did before. This time, she had her old bear from the orphanage with her. He smiled, watching as she turned to face the T.V, bear tucked under her arm, blanket covering her body, and her head resting on his chest. If someone told him 8 years ago that he would be in a relationship with someone like y/n, he would have called them crazy. But, here he was, holding her in his arms like she was the most precious thing in the world. They both had fucked up pasts, traumatic childhoods, and issues. But, they found comfort in each other's company. They could confide in each other without any judgment. Edward could not imagine him with anyone else than her. Neither could y/n. They only wanted to be with each other. No one would understand y/n quite like Edward did. And vice versa.

"Are you comfortable?" He asked.

She nodded.

"Mhm, super comfy."

"I'm glad, sweetheart."

Y/n smiled, getting up and sitting on his lap. Edward folded his hands together, fingers entwined and resting on his lower stomach. When y/n was coping, Edward made sure he didn't touch her in any way that could be sexual. He would cuddle with her, kiss her on the head or cheek, and let her sit on his lap if she really wanted to. But, he would never do anything other than those things. Sure, y/n sat on his lap a lot, especially when they were making out or having sex. But, there was a very big difference in the those two situations. When y/n and Edward were intimate, y/n would be very close to him on his lap. Their bodies would practically be glued to each other. It was clear that it was a heated and sexual gesture. But, when y/n was regressed, it was gentle. She wasn't up close to him, rather sitting in the space between his legs. Or, sometimes she would straddle the area where his knees were, that way it didn't resemble anything sexual. Y/n trusted Edward enough to be in a vulnerable state around him, and her trust was well placed. In fact, when y/n found herself regressing out in public, Edward was always quick to do what was necessary for the situation. Y/n didn't mind regressing in public, it just depended on where they were. If they were in a large setting, Edward would find a way to excuse themselves or leave the place quickly. If they were in a pretty 'relaxed' place, like an arcade, a mall, or a park, Edward would just help her through the regression. Y/n's regression was not noticeable to anyone except Edward, since he knew that she actually did it. To everyone else, it just looked like y/n was really energetic and clingy. Maybe a little bit childish too. One time when Edward and y/n were at the zoo, y/n ended up regressing. And, despite all the strange looks he received, he did not care. He was just focused on having a nice date with his girlfriend and letting her heal her inner child.

~

"Eddie! Look, they have flamingos!" Y/n squealed, grabbing him by his hand and dragging him to the exhibit.

Edward, who was looking at the Zebras, let out a little yelp. The tugging on his arm startled him. When y/n got excited, she got a sort of super-human strength. Not wanting his arm to rip off, he followed her in suite, stopping in front of the exhibit with her. She was practically bouncing on her heels. This was the first time she had ever been to the zoo, and it was Edward's first time as well. Edward was having fun, but he wasn't jumping up and down in excitement. Y/n on the other hand, quite literally was jumping up and down. He knew that she was going through her coping mechanism, no doubt having a fun time at the zoo. To be honest, that's why he wanted to take her to the zoo. He wanted to give her a fun experience that she never got as a kid. Edward held onto her hand gently, smiling at how happy she was. When he glanced around, he noticed people staring at her. It made him upset for sure. He didn't want y/n to see the looks people were giving her, so he decided to keep her occupied.

"You like them?" He asked, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Yeah! But, they aren't that pink..." She frowned.

He smirked, pushing up his glasses. With his free hand, he pointed at one of the smallest flamingos. Y/n followed the direction he was pointing at. She saw the young flamingo and looked up at him, eyes wide with wonder.

"Well, flamingos aren't born with pink feathers. They actually start off a pale grey." He said.

"Woah, really!?" She gasped.

He nodded.

"They get the pink color from eating carotenoids. That's where the pink hues come from. So, it's a little difficult for them to get bright pink, even though that's how we think they look like. You see that one? It's more red in color, right? Not one flamingo has the same shade." Edward explained.

Y/n looked up at him with a confused look. She understood most of what he was saying. But, she had no idea what a carotenoid was. Edward could see that she was puzzled, so he decided to explain a little more.

"They get the pink color from shrimp and crabs, stuff like that." He said simply.

"Oh! That makes sense!"

Without saying anything, she grabbed him by his arm once again and drug him away. He had no idea where they were going now, only that she was eager. Passerby's watched the couple with judgmental eyes, scoffing and mumbling things under their breath to themselves or the people next to them. Edward glared back at each and every one of them. They had no idea what was going on in their life. People were so quick to judge others. What made it worse, however, is that the happier someone was in public, the 'weirder' they were. That was what boggled Edward's mind. Someone could be having an amazing day, dancing in the park because maybe they got a promotion at work, or maybe they just felt happy for some reason. But, just because that person was dancing in the park, people would automatically think they were 'weird' or 'strange'. There was nothing wrong with being happy and expressing it in public. It didn't matter what age you were. Why should someone be forced to hide their emotions in public? It was stupid to Edward. And, in y/n's case, it was a coping mechanism for her. But, of course, these assholes didn't know that. If they did know, they would probably be more cruel to her for some strange reason. Edward hated people so much...for such an advanced society, humans sure as hell knew nothing about sympathy and kindness. He had seen wild animals be more caring than most humans.

"Where are we going now, sweetie?" He asked, maintaining his quick pace to keep up with her.

"Gift shopppp!!!" She squealed.

Edward rolled his eyes and chuckled. Of course they were going to the gift shop. Well, he did put aside some money for some souvenirs. After all, this was her first time at the zoo. He knew that she would want a couple (hundred) stuffed animals.

"Alright, alright, but let's slow down a bit, yeah? I don't want you to trip." He said.

Y/n nodded, slowing her pace. Smiling, he walked next to her as they went down the path to the gift shop. It was a surprisingly sunny day in Gotham, and Edward could see some redness forming on her cheeks, shoulders, and the tip of her nose. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Y/n, you put on sunscreen like I told you to, right?" He asked.

She looked at him, eyes shifting around.

"Uh, yeah..." Y/n trailed.

Edward sighed as he stepped aside, pulling y/n with him. The two of them finally made it to the gift shop, standing in the shade the building provided. In classic Edward fashion, he removed the backpack he had on. Yes, he took a backpack to the zoo. What was it filled with? Oh, you know...

Sunscreen, band-aids, a metal water bottle, granola bars, sunglasses, etc...

"Y/n, you know better than to lie like that. And, you should have listened to me in the first place. Your poor skin is getting sunburnt." He scolded gently, setting the backpack on a bench next to him.

"Sorry...I forgot to put it on." She admitted.

"It's ok to forget things, sweetie. But, you know you shouldn't lie."

He sighed, pulling out the sunscreen.

"You're already sunburnt, but I'm still going to put some sunscreen on you." Edward said.

Y/n nodded, letting him apply the sunscreen onto his hands before rubbing it into her skin. He was such a worry wart. But, that's what made him a great boyfriend. Y/n never had to ask him to help her out with something, she never had to plan everything, she never had to remind Edward about what she liked and disliked. He would help her without being asked, plan dates with her, and Edward knew everything about her. He was the perfect boyfriend, and he loved her terribly.

"Oh you poor thing..." He mumbled to himself, able to see how sunburnt she really was.

She winced when he applied the sunscreen on her shoulders. Edward shook his head in disapproval. He knew that she forgot to put it on, that was ok. Honestly, he was just upset with himself for not checking before they entered the zoo. Gently, he rubbed some onto her cheeks and nose, closing the lid to the bottle afterwards. He looked down at his hands, grumbling as he rubbed the excess onto his own arms. He hated the texture of the rub-on sunscreen. But, this was the only one he had for some strange reason.

"Alright, you're ok now. But, it's going to hurt later on. Good thing we have that aloe vera plant back home, right?" He asked, kissing her on the head before grabbing her hand.

"Yeah, now let's go in the gift shop!" She exclaimed.

"More concerned about souvenirs than your own skin. That sounds like you." He smirked.

They spent about 15 minutes in that store. Y/n was so indecisive about what she wanted. She had asked Edward if they could just "get everything". He, very seriously, said "no". So in the end, after running around the store and receiving weird looks from parents with their children, she decided on getting two things. Edward was only going to let her get one thing, but he caved in. Y/n got a seagull stuffed animal, but she named it Flamingo. Edward found that to be very amusing, as she said it was because it looked more like a baby flamingo. He was proud that she was using his tidbit of information. The other thing she got, however, was a rat stuffed animal. Edward liked that very much. He loved rats, though the orphanage gave both y/n and Edward a horrible first experience with them. On a date, they had went to a pet store and asked to hold some of the rats, hoping it would help them get over their fear of them. And it worked. Now, Edward thought they were the cutest things. She named the rat stuffed animal Remy, like the one in Ratatouille. The two of them left the store, and y/n shoved Remy into Edward's chest.

"Hold him and pretend he's your child." She said.

Edward scoffed, cradling it in his arms.

"I don't have to pretend. He is my child." He retorted.

Y/n giggled, flapping the wings of Flamingo. Edward smiled, holding her hand with his free hand. He swung their arms back and forth as they walked down the dirt path.

"You want to get some ice cream?" He asked.

"YES!"

~

Edward shook himself out of his memories, glancing past y/n's head to watch the T.V. She didn't mind. Y/n knew he wasn't ignoring her, he would never ignore her. In fact, they were both sure it was impossible for him to do that.

"You wanna tell me about your day, sweet girl?" He asked.

"Um, well, I didn't really do much..." She mumbled, picking at the fuzz of the bear.

Edward raised an eyebrow, glancing at her briefly before looking back at the T.V.

"Oh come on, you must have done something while I was at work."

Y/n thought for a moment, reflecting on her day. She looked around the open apartment, glancing at the kitchen. Her gaze went back to Edward.

"Well, I did some chores!" Y/n smiled.

Edward looked at her, stroking her hair briefly. Again, he made sure not to touch her in any intimate way. A kind smile was on his face.

"That's great! I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. Did you do anything else?" He cooed.

"Uh, not really..." She blinked harshly.

Edward watched carefully as she got off of his lap, sitting on the couch. He let it play out, knowing what was going on. She was feeling better. She was feeling more secure. So, the age regression was not really necessary any longer. Sometimes y/n had control over when she did it, and sometimes she didn't. Edward had guessed that today was one of the times she couldn't control it. It wasn't like she became a totally different person in it, not at all. She just regressed to a younger age. She was still herself, though. Y/n stared at the T.V for a little while. Edward gave her time to adjust, smiling at her when she looked back at him.

"You let go of my hand, you fucker." She glared.

Edward groaned, throwing his head back on the couch. He threw up his hands in defeat. Y/n smiled as he covered his eyes with his palms.

"Oh for the love of..."

Y/n laughed, rolling her eyes as she cuddled up next to him. He smirked, hooking his arm over her shoulders. She could feel his heartbeat as her ear was against his chest. It rose and fell with every breath he took.

"I'm messing with you, babe. I know you didn't mean to." She said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He joked.

Edward held her close to him, planting a kiss on her cheek. Y/n hummed in peace as she closed her eyes. The sleepiness she felt earlier was creeping back into her body. But, a flapping noise caught her attention. She sat up instantly, grabbing the collar of Edward's shirt tightly, making his eyes widen in surprise.

"Jesus, I said I'm sorry!" He held up his hands in defense.

"What? No, not that! Shh!" Y/n whispered.

Edward went quiet, pausing the T.V. The two of them listened closely, the flapping noise was faint and muffled. Y/n's eyes lit up, poking Edward on the shoulder and motioning towards the window. His mouth formed an 'o' as he slowly got up from the couch. Y/n and him treaded silently toward the window, pulling aside the curtains and looking at the fire escape. Lo and behold, two pigeons sat on the metal landing, cuddled up next to each other. She looked at Edward, a huge grin on her face. He smiled, watching the pigeons as his dimples formed on his cheeks.

"That's so us." She whispered.

"100%." He agreed.

Y/n looked up at Edward from her crouched over position. Dramatically, she stood up and grabbed his hands. He raised an eyebrow as she took a deep breath.

"Edward...will you ruffle my feathers and feed me your hotdogs?" Y/n asked softly.

He let out a little laugh.

"I genuinely can't tell if you're trying to make a sexual innuendo, a romantic joke, or if you're being serious."

"All three." She replied quickly.

"Hmm, I'm a little busy today. I can ruffle your feathers on Sunday, but the hotdog feeding will have to wait till Tuesday." He tutted, looking down at his watch.

"What's more important than ruffling my feathers and feeding me a hotdog?" She asked, a hand on her hip.

He scoffed, motioning towards the T.V. Replicating her sassiness, he placed a hand on his hip as well. God, he looked like a total nerd. It was adorable.

"Um, obviously binge watching an entire season of Forensic Files with my girlfriend. Which is you, by the way." He added at the end, cupping his mouth with his hand.

"Oh, that does sound pretty important. Man, that's really conflicting...all of those options sound so good." She sighed, tapping her foot on the ground.

"Can't decide, huh?" He asked.

She shook her head. Shrugging his shoulders, he lunged forward and grabbed her by the hips. With a lift of his knees, he slung y/n over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Y/n squealed, playfully hitting his back with her fists. Her legs flailed slightly as well.

"Edward Nashton! You put me down this instant!" Y/n ordered.

He walked over to the couch, sitting down on the long part of it as he spread open his legs slightly. Edward laid y/n between that space so she was facing the T.V. She turned her head to face him, eyes glaring hard. He pressed play, placing the remote back down as he widened his eyes at her in a playfully challenging way.

"There. I decided for you." He said, kissing her on the lips.

"Pfft, you're lucky you're a cutie." Y/n scoffed.

He chuckled, rubbing her arms as he watched the show. Y/n sighed happily, resting her head against his chest. Edward leaned down to her ear, whispering in it.

"Do you want pizza for dinner?"

"Edward, if you get pizza, you're forgiven of all your past transgressions."

"We also have ice cream in the freezer for dessert." He added.

"I think I love you." She said.

"Wow, that's pretty cool. It's almost like we've been best friends for nearly 9 years and are dating each other." He said, dialing the pizza place on his phone.

"Yeah, some corny rom-com bullshit like that." Y/n yawned, watching the T.V.

"Like Pretty Woman?" He asked.

"Well, I'm not a sex worker. So, not really."

"13 Going On 30?"

"Edward, we're not 30. And, I did not get covered in magical glitter as a 13 year old. So, again, a no. Although, I do love that movie." She chuckled.

"Clueless?"

"Fuck I love that movie too. Still doesn't apply though. Are you just listing all the rom-coms you know?" Y/n asked, turning around to face him with an eyebrow raised.

He looked at her silently for a moment. His eyes narrowed in thought. Slowly, he brought his hand up, pointing at her.

"I've got it! 50 Shades of Grey."

"Edward, I swear I'm going to choke you."

"See! We're already relating to the movie!" He smiled.

"EDWA-"

He covered her mouth as the call started. Y/n bit his hand the entire time he placed the order, making him look at her in confusion and amusement. Once he hung up, he removed his hand from over her mouth.

"My hand is not food."

"It's not a gag either." She retorted.

"You're making us sound more and more like 50 Shades of Grey." Edward chuckled.

"Well, you're not a rich dude who made me sign a sex contract. Thank God for that."

"Whatever. I know what rom-com we are." He stated proudly.

"Oh really? What?" Y/n asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"The Office. You're Pam. I'm Jim." He said, doing finger guns at her.

"Edward...that's...literally the most perfect answer. Not really a rom-com, but it's a great answer. I also would have accepted Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich from My Little Pony."

"Shit, that's a good answer too. Weird Al and My Little Pony was one of the greatest crossovers in history. Along with Lady Gaga in the show as well." He admitted.

"This. This is exactly why I'm dating you. You get me." She said, poking the tip of his nose.

"They also had a Walter White crossover in the show. That was fucking awesome." He chuckled.

"Holy shit, I forgot about that! Bless My Little Pony. Bless Breaking Bad." Y/n fake prayed.

"Do you think Walter and Jesse explored each other's bodies?" He asked.

"Christ, Edward what the hell?"

Sighing, she stood up and started to walk away from the couch. Edward lurched forward and grabbed her hips, pulling her back onto his lap.

"Nah uh, you're not going anywhere!" He said, attacking her neck with kisses.

"Let me go you psychopath!" She squealed.

"Not until you give me your answer!" He said, kissing all over her face and neck.

"IT'S OBVIOUSLY A YES!"

He pulled away, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Obviously! There was sexual tension and it was heavy." He stated.

"Honestly, I don't blame Walter. If I was around that fucking...meth head, homeless looking...oh boy..." She shook her head.

"Oh? Do I need to be worried?" He asked cautiously.

"No, I'd just simply slap him around, waterboard him, and then give him a big ol' kiss." She shrugged.

"Hmm, ok. Well, that's totally normal. How about we never let you near any water while around me?" He suggested.

"I'm not going to waterboard you, Edward." She scoffed.

"Well, that's a relief. You're still a little weird for wanting to slap him around though." He added.

"That's funny coming from you seeing as how last night yo-"

"Ok, yeah haha very funny. Shhh." He teased, kissing her on the forehead.

"Mhm, that's what I thought."

"Yeah, you're real clever. Now, let's watch Forensic Files." He chuckled, stroking her hair.

~

[omocatboy]

i know i’m on break and this isn’t a full sign i’m Back but i just woke up aroused as all hell from a really good dream and i need to share it because i think i’m gonna need to cum before i can sleep again holy shit

so the dream was inconsequential until the last bit, a few friends were over and we were hanging out and just chilling, i think we had been at the mall earlier. and one of my friends was a little uncomfortable-looking, until he whines out of nowhere:

“I have to peeeee. can i peee?”

i’m trying my best to be as normal as i can about this and i’m like “wh- yes of course it’s over here” and i show him where the bathroom is. while he’s in there i’m on instagram checking stories and i notice something in his story from earlier while we were out at the mall:

he was visibly potty dancing in the video. like, being all excitable and happy, but he was clearly dancing around and like pushing his legs together and swaying around. it looked like he was trying to disguise it as just being excited but the way he was jumping around and swaying was very obvious to me, especially given his whiny admission earlier.

i’m doing my damndest to not be so horribly turned on by this all from my friend, but i swipe up on his story and chastise him for holding it when he could have said at any time he needed to pee and i would have helped him find a bathroom. then i think he responded along the lines of,

“i know. B-but i just peed yesterday! it’s not fair :/“

he doesn’t have a piss kink as far as i know and he doesn’t (at least to my knowledge) know i have one either, so he has no clue what he’s doing to me. i chastise him a bit more, relate with the sentiment a little bit (i get very annoyed about needing to pee when i’m non-sexually age regressed bc it’s usually when i’m stressed) and then when he comes out of the bathroom i’m immediately scooping him into my arms on the bed and we’re cuddling (and i’m desperately trying not to grind my dick into him)

again, he doesn’t know how into this i am- or, if he does, he hasn’t let me know. we kinda fool around a little bit as friends (long distance bc we’re far apart) and i can’t say i don’t have a little bit of a crush on him, but this was… mmngh. fucking hell. i need either a cold shower, my vibrator, or a fucking priest now

[quills-of-freedom]

Short Story ~

No longer a mommy’s boy

Female bodied reader X Jean Kirstein

While in Trost, Jean visits his mom and you insist on tagging along, much to his dismay. But thankfully his mom isn’t home so he shows you around his childhood house…

Warnings: NSFW 18+ Smut. Slightly bratty reader.

Happy Birthday, Jean ~ !

“…And this is my room.”

Jean ends the reluctant tour, briefly opening his bedroom door before hurrying to close it before you could really get a good look.

“Hold on.” You tease, pushing past him and walking right in.

“y/n! Come on, it’s bad enough you’re in my house! …it’s embarrassing.” His protests fall on deaf ears as you walk into the centre of the room and look around with eager interest.

You and Jean have kinda had a thing for a while now. You will both flirt like crazy but no one’s ever made a move. You’re always catching his eyes lingering on your form when he thinks you’re not looking. You’ve also noticed how he blushes when you brush across his skin or that one time you bent over in front of him and he hurried out of the room.

As your eyes scan his room - the citrus smell of his mom’s cleaning products stinging your nostrils - you can’t help but wonder how many frustration wanks he’d had in here on leave.

It was no secret he had the hots for Mikasa during cadets. And now, four years on, it seems to be you he’s had his eyes on.

He timidly walks by his desk, clearing his throat nervously, blocking any access to his drawings that were hidden in the small wooden box on the side. His body tenses when you sit on his bed, marvelling at your surroin. It was like he was regressing into that horny teenager back in Cadets.

Holy shit, she’s sitting on my bed…

“So I’m guessing you’ve never… You know, had anyone in here before?”

His face burns, his hand scratching the back of his neck. “No. Can we go now?”

“Aw… But I’m having fun.” You pout. You loved to tease him. Getting to your feet you walk towards him, your eyes flashing him a look he’d never seen before. But he loved it.

His jaw slackens as your fingers begin to pop the buttons of your shirt; the thought of him masturbating furiously over you in that very bed turning you onto another level. The look on his face is priceless, his skin now crimson as he averts his narrow eyes away from you and his voice begins to break. He’s definitely regressing.

“Y-y/n! Are you outta your mind?! What was in your lunch?!”

You press yourself against his now trembling body, your mouth so tantalisingly close to his.

“I want you, Jean Kirstein. It’s not very often we get alone time. So maybe we -”

He cuts you off by pushing his lips against yours, an instant groan vibrating him as the force of his kiss pushes you back. You both stumble across the room, kissing with haste and your hands roaming one another as he pushes his door closed and clicks the lock, his mouth now hurrying down your neck, his hair already a mess from your hands. Your back arches with a gasp as his starving mouth devours your flesh, making its way down to your breasts and ripping your shirt open with his paws, buttons flying across the room.

“I’ll buy you another one.” He groans into you with honesty; his teeth nipping your chest as his hand fumbles with your bra.

Your leg raises up to his waist, this tall man hunched over desperately to reach your chest, now your breasts were freed from their constrictions.

“Jesus, y/n…” He pants, not able to believe this was actually happening.

Wait. He wasn’t having some weird wet dream and you weren’t about to morph into his mom, was he? That was a horror be didn’t want to experience.

He paused, waiting.

“You okay?” You breathe.

Nah. This felt very real.

He hums in confirmation, continuing to ravish and devour you, now helping you remove his shirt - his muscular bare chest tensing as he then scooped you up with ease, still kissing you in quick succession. His breathing through his nose is heavy as he sits you down onto his desk, the wooden box he previously protected clunking to the floor in his haste.

He groans as you rub up against him like a cat in heat, your scent rolling off you as he trails kisses down your stomach before pulling your trousers and panties. He stands back, your pants still in his hands as he stares at your gorgeous, naked form. His head tilts slightly, eyes wide and lips parting as his chest heaves.

Shaking his head and snapping out of it, he throws your trousers down and with a smirk returns to you, his warm fingers massaging your slit, a loud moan of yearning leaving his throat.

The way his fingers felt, finally touching you in this way was beyond amazing, your head throwing back with your teeth clamping down on your bottom lip.

“That good, baby?” He asks in a breathy whisper, his finger then sliding inside your warm entrance.

“Yes…” You confirm with a whimper, your nails digging into his arms as he enjoys the squelching sounds you make from his movements. His warm mouth trails down, his teeth sinking into your inner thigh, your moan unintentional. He removes his finger and places it in his mouth, eyes rolling at how you taste.

“So sweet…” He gasps, returning his mouth to you but this time lapping his tongue up your entirety, making you shiver and quake on the desk, his attention now your clit.

You tug at his hair, your whines melodic to him, his warm tongue feels amazing his fingers re entering you and curling inside of your clenching pussy. The friction from his facial hair on your ass cheeks and the vibrations of his groans didn’t help in anchoring you to reality, you breathing becoming erratic and your thighs squeezing against his head.

Jeans fingers are deliciously long; strong too from all the ODM usage, his relentless pressing onto your magic internal areas almost unbearable - your coil tightening with great heat.

“Jean! Oh my god! You’re so good at that…” You sound surprised which he shrugs off. He’s got you now, so all he can do is show you what he’s got to offer. And boy, is it a lot as your cries get louder, your insides pulling his fingers in deeper as you unweave, your face flushed as you cum into Jean Kirstein"s mouth.

He can’t help but let his head swell (both of them really) knowing he’s just made a woman, you no less, orgasm. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, his throbbing dick needing some attention and friction. He removes his trousers, you eye up his long length that curves up at the top. This was going to feel so so good.

Lining up with your heat he shakes as he holds himself back.

“Are you ready…?” He mutters, stroking your now messed up hair.

You nod.

With one long push, he breaks through your walls and sheaths himself fully, your mouth falling open as you pull him forward and hang your chin over his muscular shoulder; the desk banging against the wall with his thrusts. He grunts loudly with each one, large hands on your thighs and squeezing tightly.

“Jesus…” His voice breaks. “Fuck… Y/n you feel amazing.”

You can’t reply.

Jean inside you feels too good. You just sorta squeak, his head bashing against your g spot.

“Ah~ Ah~~!” You squeal before he picks you up still inside of you and pushes you against his wardrobe, fucking you against it with ease as it clatters and bangs loudly.

“yes… Fuck!” He barks, latching his mouth onto your neck and sucking, intending to leave a nice big territorial mark on your skin. He decides the closet is too loud so he moves you to the bed, his feet still on the floor as he pushes your legs up to your chest, your arousal soaking his balls and groin as he pounds deeper and faster.

Your toes curl, your tits bounce and your eyes roll as he works you, his abs moving under his skin with each thrust of his hips. He places one foot on the bed, dipping into you and grazing your cervix, his groaning becoming more urgent.

“I’m not gonna last much longer…” He warns.

You can’t reply. As soon as he mutters that last syllable you’re back inside your own heaven.

The feel of you cuming around him is too much, a high pitched whine leaves him as he busts his big fat fuckin nut, filling you up ever so full.

Jean’s mom comes through the front door with her arms full of shopping bags. She’s elated as she sees her beloved sons shoes at the door.

Wait… And is that a pair of women’s -?

Her train of thought can’t finish as she hears what sounds like a stampede marching through the upper floor. She recognised that as Jeans wardrobe from the way it would shake as she polished the wood. Her face turns pink as she drops the groceries.

“That was amazing…” Jean whispered as you lay on his chest, those amazing fingers now drawing circles on your shoulder as he plants a kiss on your head. “We… Get to do that again, right? Like we’re together now?”

“Absolutely.” You smile.

You both bolt up when there’s a meek tapping at the door.

“Jeany…? I know you’re home. I’m making dinner. Would your… uh, girlfriend like some?” Her voice muffles through the door.

You can’t help but laugh as your now boyfriend hides his face in his hands, his teeth gritting together.

“Guess it’s already time to meet your mom.” You grin.

[itsclydebitches]

Can someone ezblain why we had that whole roy vs jamie over keeley fight revived? I was happy that they were being friends. Then they went to keeley's house and wer liek you pick and I was so sure she was going to be like why not both? I was on that train. Her canon reaction made sense but then made ask why bring it up at all? They were doing fine. Their relationship grew beyond fighting over a girl, after what they went thru togtherr? Idk

I really wish I could explain it, anon. Personally, I think the problem started an episode before when they suddenly introduced the "I don't want to just be friends" conflict when, from where I was standing, Roy and Keeley had already gotten back together, concluding the journey we've known they were on since the start of Season One. Keeley starts falling for Roy, they date, have some struggles, overcome them, and presumably conclude the series as an item, demonstrating that Keeley can be a strong, independent boss while also indulging in the romance she's been interested in since her introduction.

But then, suddenly, their night together + Rebecca's realization doesn't mean they're dating again. Okay, weird to introduce that in the literal final hour, but I guess they wanted one last conflict for the finale. I got ohhhhh so excited when Roy admitted to being anxious about "stuff" because what could that possibly be except him grappling with feelings for Jamie too? He and Keeley JUST slept together, he JUST wrote her a love confession, he JUST said overtly and without reservations that he wants more than friendship, so there's nothing Keeley-only related that he'd be this nervous about. It's got to be the poly plot-line that's been happening in the background. This is why everyone looks to Jamie during Colin's coming out scene. This is how we confirm Beard's reminder that there are more queer people in the room. This is why we see Jamie's bedroom with a sexualized Keeley AND a poster of Roy right beside it, positioning them as equals. This is why we got moments like Jamie attending Roy's uncle party because yeah, they haven't just become friends, they've become intimately close. Holy shit, Ted Lasso's actually gonna do it!

So I went into the bar scene not liking the regression to jealousy -- and I hated that Jamie used the video to try and one-up Roy, especially after all the good work the writing did with that: having him apologize and keeping that information from Roy when it was none of his business -- but I figured this was just the messy way the story was getting us to that poly ending. They need to act in the traditional Manly Fashion over the girl, going so far as to demand that Keeley choose one of them, in order to access the opportunity for her to say (and I could hear it so clearly in her voice): "Why should I choose just one?" The lead-up to this could have definitely been done better, I thought, watching the three of them sit down at the table, Like, I hate that we're suddenly regressing to set this up, it's stupid, but a canonical poly ending will be worth some missteps. Hell, I'll forgive a LOT here because we almost NEVER get that representation and in a show this popular? Hot damn, that's amazing.

And then Keeley just kicked them both out.

Thank god she remained single, like she always should have been. Strong and independent! I've seen a lot of fans say post-finale and I'm just in my corner going wait, I'm happy for you, truly I am, but I'm asking in the nicest way possible if we watched the same show?? The one where Keeley has ALWAYS wanted a romance? How she's an amazing character in part BECAUSE the writing allowed her to love romance and sex and being a badass boss? Where she and Roy were set up to be the True Love story from the very start? How a Keeley/Roy/Jamie story has been happening subtly in the background, now primed to become canon in the season largely focused on queer identities? How Keeley did not need to be the narrowly defined strong, independent, single woman when Rebecca Fucking Welton was right there, loving her life post-divorce, and instead the story decided to give her a man and a little girl at the last possible second?

They'll at least address that and have Keeley announce her intentions to stay single for a time after that mess with Jack, as a way of wrapping up her story, I thought and then that never happened.

They'll at least address Jamie and Roy's lingering feelings for Keeley because surely, after that bar confrontation, resulting in an actual FIGHT, they won't just shrug this off over some kebabs, I thought and then that never happened.

Well, it sucks that we didn't get a poly couple, but I suppose it was always a long shot--

[Dani slams in with two model women we know nothing about, just literal arm candy at a wedding where Beard marries his abuser that, intentionally or not, is kinda framed as a dream and wait wait wait THAT'S the canonical poly rep we're ending on??]

I've seen a couple people say that they enjoy the finale more after a re-watch and hell yeah. More power to you. Wish that were me. Unfortunately, outside the stuff I liked right at the start, I've enjoyed the finale less and less the more I've returned to it. So much just feels like it came out of nowhere, regressed the characters, contradicted long-term setups, and generally left me feeling disappointed about things they I believe we had good reason to expect from the show. These weren't things we simply hoped for and thus fans are in need of a reminder that this is not their story. This was stuff Ted Lasso textually and thematically implied... and when you're the feel good show of the quarantine era, pulling back from those implied promises feels even worse. The long-running couple break up in the most confusing, backsliding way possible. The last episode cruelly teases one of the most popular ships. Nate's entire redemption arc was rushed/had key moments pushed off-screen, giving him almost no time to re-connect with Ted. The established abuse plot-line is played straight at the end. Ted goes back to Kansas and, according to the montage, full-on abandons his found family in the name of doing right by Henry -- a level of sacrifice I don't think this kid needs or, if given the chance to have a say in all this, would necessarily even want.

Idk, there were a LOT of fantastic moments (the sign reveal makes me SCREAM!!!!!) but overall the bones of the finale left me feeling sad. The Roy/Keeley/Jamie situation is pretty reflective of that feeling.