#like i don't even feel comfortable liking for interactions rn bc i know i'm so behind but!! then i feel like i'm not reaching out!!

[tvrningout-a]

will y'all be mad if i reblog a fluffy meme or two (; ω ; )

[sibelin]

i'll pretend i didn't just have breakdown like i do five times a week ✌️

[noxtivagus]

I FEEL BETTER AGAIN

[secretlyabunny]

-

[multishipperofgaydeadwizards]

Rosestarkiller but they're all Aromantic AU (because I'm aromantic <33)

Barty likes the romantic stuff involved in romantic relationships. Kissing, hugging, cuddling, whatever. He's just never felt any sort of drive to do it with any specific person.

I think it'd be really funny if other students just singled in on Barty and Evan being touchy-feely and assumed they were dating.

Because Evan is just so chill and Barty loves being affectionate with people if they'll allow it. Evan just adapts to people he cares about and changes how he interacts with them to make sure they're comfortable and within their boundaries and all.

So RoseKiller date first. Because Barty is touch-starved and Evan just rolls with it. Neither of them feel any romantic feelings. But they figure they should because why not. Just so people will stop spreading rumors that they're in a "secret relationship".

Regulus doesn't think of romance naturally. He has other more important things to concern himself with. Like his school work, his image, his hobbies, his friends who haven't been hanging out with him in a while but have been hanging out with each other.

And Regulus is starting to wonder if he did something wrong? And he gets insecure and maybe a little jealous that his friends are hanging out without him or feels like they're leaving him.

And I guess he confronts them about it. Saying they're avoiding him or leaving him out or something.

And they're like "??? What? No? You just don't like affection, right?"

And Regulus is like "I like a Little Bit of affection from people I'm close with... And thats you guys"

And maybe admitting that is not so direct and definitely super embarrassing for Regulus. He definitely does not know how to communicate emotions normally.

And I still think they love each other deeply. It's just not romantic in this scenario and that's just as well. :D

With love, an AroAce who loves RoseStarKiller

Sgsbsieb8dbd9sb OMG YES!

Aromantic rosetarkiller <3 I have never thought of them like that, and I am regretting it rn. they would work soooooo well together

what you're saying fits all of them so well. evan and barty knowing about the rumours and not really caring about them that mich is so real of them. romance not being regulus’s thing works for his character too tbh (originally, I had a hc that he was aromantic with no romantic attraction whatsoever, but that changed over time)

rosekiller getting together first makes sense. regulus coming into the mix bc he gets upset at them, not treating him the same is so real

my man hates physical touch, but he hates being left out even more

they hold hands a lot. it calm reg down and makes barty feels secure... evan just likes the feeling of a hand (or hands in this case) in his

but yes, there is a lot of love between them. not in a romantic way but love none the less

I'm very sorry about the late reply. I kind of forgot about the ask 😅

[princeanxious]

are you out of the TSS fandom for good, do you think? just burned out on lack of updates?

I mean, it's complicated.

Edit: pressed answer instead of save to drafts while trying to back out, tumblr what the fuck

Anyway, it's complicated. I've become burnt out creatively lately, and I've been part of the sanders sides Fandom since 2018, it's been a big portion of my life, I'm not letting it go that easily.

However, this is my main blog, and I cant really shift everything to a new side blog, so I do feel bad for those who followed me exclusively for sanders sides are now seeing a v distinct lack of it.

But for the most part, yeah, I'm burned out on a lack of updates, I was a fander creator doing as much as I could to create content to entertain myself just as much as for others in-between the hiatus-gaps while awaiting updates. I love these characters with all my heart, but every gap in between has gotten longer and longer, I can't keep waiting for a year at a time for one single update even if the finished product is grand and *absolutely worth* the time it took to make. I was scrambling, bc I no longer have the time I used to to create my own fanart and fanfiction and animatics for this fandom, and I can only reread the library of my favorite saved works over so many times before I feel hollow and under-stimulated.

It'd be one thing if the rest of the fandom was as active as it used to be, I bounce off others creative energy far easier than single handedly manifesting my own inspirations all the time. But it's not, and interaction with my own content slowed way down. (Not to say that I'm leaving just bc of this or anything, but its become a struggle to feel motivated to keep going when there's literally nothing new from Canon to keep riffing from.)

I have the want to finish my remaining fics, specifically The Lost Guardian in particular at the very least, but I just can't solely be a sanders sides blog like I used to be.

I'll be here when that season finale comes out, but at this rate of progression, I think Thomas has overestimated the fact that this could very well be a series finale, not season finale. And I've come to peace with that, if only Thomas would be more transparent abt it.

Sure, Thomas has other content, but funfact, I've had very relatively low interest in getting super into it, there isn't the same level of comfort in shipping characters of a single person with the versions themselves when other characters played by other people are involved, especially when u know that they are alot of his v close friends. I don't ship real world actors together, especially if they play a character very close to representing themselves. The characters they play, maybe, but that's why I'm far more entertained and comfortable with animated media.

In short, I'm tired and burnt out and for now-for *whatever* reason- the silly lanky clown jesters from fnaf have more of a grasp on my brain than sanders sides does. I'm following the serotonin.

I may still create sanders sides content in the future, but getting maybe 100-500 notes on a piece when u have a fandom following of roughly 11.5k followers from over the years has spoken volumes on how active the community is rn. I'm not leaving, but I can't be stagnant and hyperfixate on this anymore after doing so for almost 6 years straight. Yknow?

And for those who have always left a comment, shared my work, interacted with me in any capacity over the years in this fandom, and have made my time in this fandom worth while, thank you. I love you. U have made every second worth it💜

[sadistpet]

Meet the Writer

it's munday everybunny you know what that means

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

i love choosing muses that aren’t very. canonically fleshed out. it gives me a lot of opportunity to make them into my own ig :3

raikov is generally a pretty blank slate besides the little we know about him ( being violent / sadistic, being in love with volgin, u kno ) and i think he's potentially a really interesting character from what little we see of him. im personally not ascribed to the eva theory bc i think its kinda silly and robs him of a lot of his personal agency, but it is a common theory, so i kinda wanted to build up a characterisation that was more. faithful to canon rather than fanon u kno. plus sometimes my autism just latches onto specific random characters for no reason and in this case it was raikov JDSFHDFKJ my partner loves raiden and when we were scrolling his wiki page for the funnies obviously raikov's page comes up at the top as a "maybe you meant this" and i just kept coming back to him

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH i hate writing anything with like. eating?? which is ironic considering . raikov . but i just never know how to word it BUT aside from that i think combat is really the only thing ! just cause i feel like it relies heavily on input from both parties and i constantly feel like im overstepping kjshkfjhg

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

fluff angst smut grins. they just come a lot easier to me, especially angst because i always have a LOT to say about silly little internal thought processes and i love writing sadness and pain ^-^ it makes me very gleeful ironically jdkhfdjhg i get very emotionally invested in angst especially. smut is a little bit harder? kinda like with combat ironically it heavily relies on the input of both parties but i do feel for the most part its pretty open ended fun :3

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

i just know. BUT NO SERIOUSLY sometimes it's just Vibes, sometimes it's through reading canon stuff and linking it back to my backstory for him, sometimes it's through interactions with others. there's a lot :3 i do put a lot of thought into my headcanons though, maybe like. too much lmao. but i enjoy it i really love doing a lot of analysis to get to my headcanons

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

a bit of both ! rn i'm writing in silence and i think last night i was mostly writing in silence on my phone and then listening to music while i finished stuff on pc. i think it depends ? sometimes i just get really distracted when listening to music and end up completely neglecting actually writing HDFJGHED so i think overall i prefer silence, or something in the background that i've already seen before so i don't need to pay much attention to it

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

i love winging it :3 i like the unpredictability of it but i think i tend to like. outline ? replies before i actually write them properly. ive never really plotted with anyone besides a vague kinda outline or premise, because i do really like the unpredictability :3 but im always open to plotting grins cutely.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Yes. not just romantic shipping; sexual, enemies, rivals, whatever, idgaf I LOVE CONNECTIONS!!!!!!! i love being able to write relationships between characters. even if its like, familial relationships or whatever, i think it's SO FUN like ourgh. grins really big

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

frances ! it’s not my irl name but the one im most comfortable using online. i also go by rosalind, neo, and vanya :3 one of these is closest to my irl name but youll never guess

ᴀɢᴇ?

22, 23 this year somehow

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

september 17th !

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

pink. fairy tale pink. baby pink. any shade of pink

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

UM im not sure ?? of all time maybe dysph.oric reverie by [redacted] and the art of suicide by emilie autumn and valley of the dolls by marina atm though its a stranger i remain and holding out for a hero

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

the thing (1982) !! oh it was so fucking good i really really enjoyed it. theres a bunch of old classic horror films ive never seen so im glad i could tick one off the list :3 the effects in it were absolutely stunning my goodness

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

i think it was blue eye samurai ?? i gen dont remember

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

im so sorry for my crimes but it was the stains of time and then holding out for a hero

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

meat. and sweet things. i dont think i really have any favourites in particular besides liiiike caramel

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

spring ! all the other seasons make me depressed in some way somehow

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

i have avoidant personality disorder so im too scared to explicitly call anybody my friend in case they hate me so unfortunately i will not think of us as friends unless yuou tell me we are. but if i talk to you / interact with you regularly just know i consider u a friend ok. snf

[i-bring-crack]

Honestly I'm interested on how Yoo Joonghyuk and Woo Jin Chul would get together and what their relationship dynamic would be like. A preserved and independent man who happens to get agitated a lot when a certain sacrificing man named Kim Dokja is around X a workaholic and peacemaker man for strong and powerful people. Of course, that's not how I intirely see them as, I just kinda see their dynamic in that way lol. Jin Chul would certainly just step infront of Joonghyuk when it looks like the man is about to slash Dokja apart like a samurai in DvDs (my attempt to rant like a tumblr person /j I could not get anymore creative than this). That is, if Joonghyuk already has feelings for him or they're already in a relationship. If he doesn't or they aren't in a relationship yet, Joonghyuk would attempt to hurt Jin Chul just to get to Dokja (to punch the man ofc), not knowing Jin Chul is capable of slowing him down/stunning him. It's not even serious, Dokja is just being stupid and Joonghyuk is also being stupid but Jin Chul would rather have their surroundings intact and clean so he ends the bickering quickly. Idk Joonghyuk takes interest in him yada yada Woo Jin Chul gains a bf (Yoo Joonghyuk) and I'm going to sleep (I SHOULD BE ASLEEP RN). But on an additional note, I wanna create an AU with these mfs. SL x ORV. I'm not that creative or good at writing but I'd be brainstorming and I'd enjoy it, so imma make one (if I had time). With Sung Jin Woo x Kim Dokja as well, but the endgame will be Sung Jin Woo x Woo Jin Chul and Kim Dokja x Yoo Joonghyuk. Idk maybe they're exes, maybe they're idiots (they are /affectionately), maybe they– honestly idk LMAO. Imma search for inspiration and stuff so I can write these pairings that would make sense lol. I am... yapping. I'm so sorry— (I would like to read what you think of the pairings Yoo Joonghyuk x Woo Jin Chul and Kim Dokja x Sung Jin Woo, if you're not comfortable or don't want to write about it, that's okay! Delete this right away if you want)

Personally I was never a big fan of Dokja and Jinwoo, but Its not like I disliked it either. It is a popular ship and im glad a lot of people on ao3 like it, (not only beacuse the ship managed to keep SL one alive, but also because the ideas of the characters and world had been expanded through those fics. And bc it is a beneficial way for fans to interact with more manhwa, especially since the anime has come out. Also SL is not that strong on worldbuilding so the writers have an easier way to complement all of their magic systems and lore into the other story without much problem. I think its part of SL's charm that crossovers ships and fics exist more than just being a self contained fandom like most are. Best way I can put it is that SL acts more like a soda, you can have it for yourself or with other foods, but most of the time you see it with other foods. Also the side characters, as someone on ao3 puts it, are free real state. To most who use it, they are pretty much like dolls whose personality definatly ranges but als onot much to make you think its completely differnt person.) I got introduced to ORV that way, kinda, and well sadly I havent fnished the tory tho I got easily spoiled by like everything, so my characterizations for Joonghyuk and Dokja might be a little skewed, ooc even *gasp*.

Anyways as for how I would think about it. From first time I do agree with a lot of your ideas, and if you wanna write then go ahead! I think it will turn out to be fun!

Jinchul and joonghyuk is a pair I thought I saw once during my fanfic hunt ( and im sure of it that it existed... somewhere =_=) but defiently a new concept for sure. I do feel pity for Jinchul having become this side character who will be put in the place of constant death for the sake of kim dokja. Oh, although considering how protective jinwoo is over his love ones ( and the protagonist halo he has) it wouldnt be a bad idea overall to put him as a sacrifice since the moment that happens Jinwoo comes back to rescue him with the power he has on him. Psychopathic for all of them but it fits them.

(omg just imaginig the cycles of Dokja trying to find a solution by killing himself, Yoo jooonghyuk saying it should be Jinchul instead, jinchul actually trying to find a solution that doesnt involve ANYONE dying because god is he the only one with braincells. and then jinwoo just raising his hand up like, you know my power is dying right? like I can do this instead.)

Depending on what world we are talking about, their situations would def be vary as well. Dokja and Yoo Joonhyuk in SL world, alongside Jinwoo, would probably the most dangeorus things Jinchul has to deal with on a daily basis because of how much they keep filing for property damage. Joonhyuk and Jinwoo would always like to one up each other me thinks, while Dokja would likely be more insterested in the gates and their ecosystems, what stories could they tell and where they could come from. He would proably be the most chill with Jinchul, maybe even sharing a lot of information with him about monsters and magical items.

As for how jinchul and jinwoo would work in the Orv setting. WEll for one i dont think the pairs can seperate. Both Jinwoo and Jinchul, just like Dokja and Joonghyuk are like, bonded stray cats, not sorry. They could go for hours at a time doing their own things but they will damn well find each other back. This probably makes it easier then for Jinchul to make out a plan for his 'sacrifice' to be stopped midway when Jinwoo decides to appear with so much plot armor you think he'd be a constellation. I also like the idea of Jinchul finding out through context cllue that like, Dokja had read the whole story of what might happen in the future and being the only one to confront him about it. It would be cool to see if Jinchul can also challenge Dokja's vision of needing to sacrifice himself, (especially when he already has one suicidal hero on the bag and dont need another one). If it were to me I would try to put Jinchul's detective skills /and his way of dealing with powerful people like s ranks) at work since it would be fun if someone saw past Dokja's hero persona easily, slowly peeling it away to reveal someone who is way too traumatized by possible past events that he might just start doing some things to self destruct.

I dont know how to put it into words as well, but Jinchul being the most realistic person out there --not a sidehero, not an op protagonist or a damsel or a femme fatale. Not one of the characters in his book and not one of the readers or the people who adore him. He is as human as he can be. Having flaws and weaknesses more than everyone, but having his own niche strenghts as well. Not being able to be understood by Dokja unless he actively tries to get closer, and even then jinchul would know more about him than Dokja knows about the other.

Oh right what this wasnt a dokja and jinchul post, forget that (forgive me but dokja needs someone around his age that is like, a friend to him more in a casual way than the 'devoted loyal will always be there for you and kill for you' kind of way that he has with the rest of the kimcom. They are not bad by ANY means, its just that watching Dokja trying to befriend someone without the need to prove his worth, or just meet, in an apocalypse (or start one) would be healthy for him. It would also be funny if Jinchul is overall too tired with work to care that theres a whole ass apocalypse going down. Dude's "im not cut out for this" and "fuck that" getting him out of drama situations.

Jinwoo is there. I dont know what to make of him, surprisingly. He is that plot armor that everyone desperatly needs, but sadly he is out there hunting other weird ass monsters and probably hijacking the whole system that the dokkabei have. Jinchul and Jinwoo in prv could serve as awesome narrative foils, one acts as the most generic protagonist one could ever meet, and the other acts as so human to the point that its scary. Jinwoo would always be that stepping stone that Joonghyuk has to overcome (and maybe does a lot of the times, maybe he doesnt reach the perfection state like jinwoo does, protagonist halos are weird) And Joonghyuk will try to gain some information about him through Jinchul, whenever he is not using him for sacrifices against humanity. Jinchul of course might use that info as a bargain to get dokja out of certain trouble (which could also gethte other a headache bc agh nothing is going to plan!) and powerup jinwoo instead. When no one is going at each others throats, it would be fun for jinwoo and joonghyuk to interact and share stuff about their younger sisters-

HOLD, kyung hye needs to meet kim dokja she would solve like 65% of whatever is wrong with him my senses tell me its true CONTINUE

Over the coure of many shitty things happening once the fights with the contellations start, I think Joonghyuk might rely more of Jinchul to get them out of situations and regard him as a more respectable ally to be around (especially when he comes with the bonus of a living embodiment of a death god in the background) and Jinchul could learn to put Joonghyuk in check before he goes on a killing spree because of Dokja's death.

I will have to catch up on orv's ln to get more about this four, but the idea was certainly fun, so thanks for oversharing your thoughts!

[sillylittlelemon]

uhhh hi... I'm kinda scared to do this but I wanna do a saiki k matchup :3. I'm 16, she/they, panromantic asexual, I'm fine with platonic matchup btw. Mbti is infp-t, I'm introverted but as a child I was super extraverted so I still have some extraverted tendencies and interject when I'm not supposed to. I also have ADHD and maybe Autism but my psychologist is still unsure about that. I don't like people who force social interaction on me or rope me in situations I wasn't originally a part of. Basically, if I don't make the first steps to interact with you, please just respectfully leave me be. People say that they feel at home and comfortable around me when first meeting but that's probably because I'm a people-pleaser. For hobbies i love to read, draw, write, look into anything that's obscure enough, and listen to music ALL THE TIME. i dislike big wide spaces, heights, dark places, and others. Anomalous and supernatural stuff interest me so MUCH. I love crazy stuff like that. I like to yap about history and crazy supernatural theories about the world, even if I don't believe them. Yeah :333

Hi lovely! Thank you for the request! 🫂❤️ I hope you enjoy!

Okay hear me out- The dark revival guy? One sec i gotta google his name bc your girl is blanking so hard rn

KAIDO

I just feel like with your listed interests/hobbies plus a couple of your characteristics (for example; dislike of big/open spaces, heights, dark places, etc) would totally match his vibe and he would instantly be head over heels if you started talking paranormal/freaky stuff with him (bc letsbe real this poor baby just wants someone who doesnt think he's crazy)

Kaido is 100% a proctective boyfriend or even just friend- because he just KNOWS the dark reunion is out to get you to hurt him. You tripped? No, the dark reunion put that rock there in hopes to injure you. Theres a spider in your room? The dark reunion is attempting to assasinate you (you can kill it now because theres no way in hell he's getting within 10 feet of that thing)

Kaido is also simultaniously broke and dying to spoil you. Like- he *wants* to give you the world, buy you everything youso much as *glance* at because this boy worships the ground you walk on- but he has 69 cents and you know what that means? He doesnt have enough money for chicken nuggies (iykyk)

If you'd like more headcanons/a rematch please send me the link to this post and let me know some light details, love you Anon 🫂❤️🫂❤️ thank you for the ask! They brighten my day so much 😊😊

[frecklystars]

i miss st/rscream so much and by that i mean i miss feeling safe with him. i dont even miss HIM i just miss feeling safe with him. and i miss feeling loved by him. rahhh. i love ken but ken is barely a fraction of how stsc made me feel. ooghhhhhhhh i grieve over this every single day but sometimes it hits way harder than usual and right now its one of those moments where i just gotta sit and cry about it and ache terribly. i hate it i hate it i hate it. i miss him so BAD i have never loved anyone like i love him and i never will. i think cameo had a big big big part of that. getting the voice actor to say my name/nickname in the voice, saying i love you and ive got you and like a hundred other things, that made it feel more special. i dont want steve to ever come back to cameo tho bc i know my abuser with her unlimited money would JUMP on that and she doesnt deserve it whatsoever. but. god i miss getting those voice lines.

steve hugged me and said stsc would never hurt me and "it doesnt matter what your abuser says, you always have him" and said in the voice "we'll always have us." he growled in character "i love you, and i miss you", like he was guttural and angry. he blew me several kisses and said he loves me again and again. that kind of thing would have sent me over the moon two years ago. and i just, i dont believe it??

its like theres this force field preventing me from believing stsc is "safe" and it. is. awful. idk how to make that stop. i look at ken rn and feel absolutely nothing. but back when i had stsc and i'd feel numb and depressed, i'd draw vent art of us together and i'd feel better. rn if i drew vent art with ken i don't know if it would help very much. i dont find comfort in him the same way i would with TF characters.

i LOVE ken i love him so dearly i love him so so so deeply but he doesnt feel the same. he just happens to be my number one favorite but he isn't... he doesn't feel like a very very strong romantic F/O but he's kind of all i've got. those ryan F/Os are all i've got right now and it's like i'm barely scraping up anything out of this. nobody else will ever feel the same and i know a part of life is that nothing lasts forever, but i am always so unbearably depressed over losing a special interest and my greatest comfort character to trauma, that my abuser is *everywhere* on this hellsite and i cannot ever enjoy self shipping the way i used to bc i cannot go into the tag and engage with anyone bc i dont know who else knows her. shes such a big, active blog, she has so many connections, i dont know who shes friends with. i know i can never interact with any TF blogs ever again, especially if theyre artists, bc its 99% likely she knows them no matter who they are. im thankful there are a few TF blogs/artists who have supported me and told me "oh that person did the same thing to me, and i believe you, and its ok i would not support that person" but its still just. its wild to me. she acts so nice and sweet online but oh my god offline she is the most vicious vile person i have ever met in my life. and she stalked me which is! insane! normal ppl dont do this!! but she acts Normal online she acts like she wouldnt hurt a fly but offline it felt like a genuine monster was hunting me. im so sad i associate stsc with that feeling of fight or flight. im so sad i look at bumblebee and immediately think he'd want to do horrible things to me. its like my brain has been poisoned and i dont know how to fix that.

im just here with this giant gaping hole in my chest with my heart ripped out and i dont know when im going to start feeling Joy like i used to. i mean i feel joy with ryan F/Os sometimes but its just. its nothing like what TF did for me and i dont think its possible to ever truly feel safe with F/Os when im in the headspace i am in now. there are times when i fear ken, not as badly as having a fight or flight reaction, but ill feel so tense and uncomfortable and firmly believe he'd want to hurt me and i cant go near him. its awful feeling like this.

my flashbacks have been getting worse since i've seen my abuser twice now in the last month, so maybe that has something to do with how im feeling right now. i miss my starlight so bad. haha i sound pathetic. he isn't real. none of these characters are real but it's the only way for me to feel loved and it's how i survive day to day. i need them. i dont want to be scared of them. well anyway whatever yknow i cant do anything about this so im just... venting about the same old thing. i wonder when its ever gonna stop hurting this bad, if at all

[urfavnegronerd]

I just found another Miles smut

They literally “aged them up” because it was like hcs ig and said that MINORS WEREN’T ALLOWED TO INTERACT

Literally barfing

i hmm this is such a convo

bc which miles? comic miles (ew)? itsv/atsv miles? PlayStation miles? i lowk hope it was play station miles bc that one is 17, and while he still is technically a minor, in a lot of places 17 is considered an adult. its still gross but slightly less gross? i'm-- so many thoughts about this.

its not like i don't condone smut, its just hard to figure out where the disconnect is with smut writers. below 18 in the u.s is considered a minor, however in different places its different. for example, in s. korea 19 is adult, not 18.

so likeeee very multifaceted in the sense that laws are different everywhere, and atsv was released in most countries.

bc i was born in the united states w a v rigid view on adulthood, yes this shit is fucking disgusting literally let him be a black boy not a fucking man. that's gross and rooted in racism bc i fine boaf miles' fine but i ain't never once thought about fucking them hello?!? i am also fairly certain that the people writing them are either a) sheltered or b) white. the sheltered thing i can understand because im first gen and my version of the sex talk was when i was really young at an art museum w some paintings of nudity with my aunt (who attended catholic school) who told me to 'hold an aspirin between your thighs', and i also didn't get sex ed in school. so i understand the 'draw' of writing taboo shit and consuming it but. baby. come awwwnnnnn. like yeah, good on you for acknowledging ur very human sexual desires, but what the fuck miles is a minor please stop.

i love love love that this fandom has opinions/ visions for characters but yall needa chill. that 'hobie is in love with miles because he turns pink!' is cute when its just your opinion, however the color doesn't necessarily dictate his emotions (at least we don't know for sure, we don't know much abt hobie), and he also turned from yellow to pink while holding mayday. the pink can symbolize adoration if u will. that's not to say you cant have ur punkflower hcs, js don't PUSH it yall. ur human, okay? a lot of people have sexual desires which is cool but stop pushing ur horny on a minor and animated character. its not cool, does not pass the vibe check.

unrelated but in the same vibe as the previous rant-- gwens character. there's a lot of discourse rn about her possibly being trans WHICH IS COOL but I've seen people attack others for politely disagreeing. i love that a lot of people are feeling comfortable and recognized with possible hints towards peoples identities, but please calm the fuck down. it was never that serious, never that deep babes i promise. because, yes, representation is quite wonderful (speaking as a queer black girl) but it doesn't always spark change, sometimes it causes the latter. and in this instance of yall projected ur opinions to the absolute max, is not inciting change. its inciting anger, disagreement, and toxcity. i'm not gonna lie, i'm on the side of lets js leave things where they are until animators disclose something. but rae their color schemes-- yall do know that pride flags were also created with aesthetics in mind, right? blue, pink and white go pretty together, AND they compliment lighter skin tones (like gwen). purple blue and pink go good together too, and we see a lot of that in miles' palate. BECAUSE IT COMPLIMENTS MELANIN. i love love love how people are incorporating themselves and their identities into this movie, shit i even do this, but can yall CHILL? for the love of god.

moral of the story: stop and think for a sec, okay? i promise your brain has good thoughts, but not everything has to be shared with the world.

[noxtivagus]

reading some short stories for literature rn n i'm just. in awe of life.

[hyukalyptus]

i feel like younger fandom writers on tumblr are starting to feel like they have to be sort of ""influencers"" and respond to every single bit of feedback and get as many reblogs as possible but that's never been what tumblr has been about and it's sad because i've seen this idea people give themselves drive writers off the website in newer, younger fandoms. if i'm in your inbox, even if it's some big idea i'm putting down, you can just reply like a conversation. i'm not expecting a piece of writing, i really just want to tell someone and have them respond "OH MY GOD I'M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH" and maybe even "thats so hot and he'd do this too" but i feel like writers are putting a lot of pressure on themselves lately, or maybe it's just this fandom idk, to write a fic for every single idea that comes into their mailbox because they feel like "that's what writers do" or something and it's like??? you don't have to be a Public Figure here. it's just a fuckign social media website and the weirdest most fucked up one. i'm sure you get asks like "hey why didn't you write such and such" but like. you're just here to converse and share the things you make this isn't your fucking job so ignore that shit and do what feels comfortable to you. idk if this sounds harsh or not but really the point is just do whatever the fuck you want

hello!

idk if this is a rant specifically toward me or if it’s supposed to be a suggestion for others..but i feel like i have a pretty clear boundary and that is stated clearly in my guidelines. i do understand that this is something silly and meant to be fun and i treat it that way.

i’ve never felt pressured to do something i didn’t want to do. i know i posted a “i have a full time job and i go to school!” post yesterday but that’s because i have drawn that boundary and i do understand that this is a low priority and it’s for fun. if i don’t like an ask, i delete it! which i do so often tbh. i don’t rly advertise that bc i want ppl to feel like they can inbox me.

and again, i’m not sure if this is directed at me fully, but i have never said anything along the lines of “because that’s what writers do.” as i’ve said in my guidelines, i understand i am not here for you or any other reader. and i am fully comfortable deleting any ask and blocking whoever tf i want.

perhaps this in response to saying something like “this didn’t get a whole lotta notes :(“ or something? and if it’s that, that’s not meant to be taken too seriously! it’s more of a “omg why doesn’t anyone else wanna giggle about kai with me rn?” just like irl if i’m w a group of ppl and i’m sharing something i rly like and that i created and i get very little response i’ll be slightly :/ but i’m not taking it personally. i’m sorry if it came across as pressuring others to provide feedback.

perhaps this is in response to my poll i have up rn. i’m doing this because many readers have suggested us writers interact back with them. and they’ve requested that from multiple writers. which i see as a fair request to be completely honest. however, i don’t feel pressured into doing that. i want to show appreciation to my readers that leave feedback and idk maybe it’s because i’m autistic, maybe it’s because i’m old and don’t do social media well, but it can be very difficult for me to talk to people in any form (online or offline) so i wanted to know what form would be best received.

but at the end of the day- i definitely do not see myself as an “influencer”—that is actually my worst nightmare. i have never felt pressured to write a response to anything, i’ve never felt pressured to respond within a certain time frame, a certain length, or anything. i still haven’t posted half my kinktober shit! i’ve never prioritized this over work or school. i do write whatever the fuck i want or i wouldn’t write about “unpopular” things like kai smut (bc let’s face it, they’re always super unpopular), chubby!reader, or other kinks. and i make that clear in my guidelines!

and yep, i see this as something silly that i do as a hobby but that isn’t my place to dictate how other writers should feel about their blog. if they want to take it seriously bc they view as their art, that’s fine with me. if they wanna write for validation or for as many notes as possible, that’s fine w me because they’re doing whatever the fuck they want.

writers: i do encourage you to not feel pressured to write to things you don’t want to, but i don’t feel like many of you do that anyway. this is meant to be something fun and if you’re not having fun, don’t do it! but i’m still having fun with this so i’m gonna do it. and i’m sure y’all are having fun too. i ofc hope my moots stick around, but i would of course understand if you decided to never log back in again someday.

[hoseeok]

thank you @kimtaegis 🥺 !!! I rarely interact from this blog so this makes me really happy >.<

Who is your favourite k-pop group? bangtan!!! <3

Which member sparked your interest first? jimin!! i literally heard his voice in a snippet of a song from a samsung ad and it wouldn't leave my mind bc I wanted to hear it again... the rest was history. truly the pied piper

Who was your first bias? jimin<3

Who is your current biases? namgiseok🤍, but most of all hobi

What makes them your current bias(es)? I love hobi's passion, his optimism and kindness, his fairness and care for everyone he meets in different ways. we also have the same laugh, which always makes me happy. he is just SO GOOD you know? he (and bangtan really) brought so much joy in my life, they keep making me love life more (prev you wrote things so true about tae TvT)

yoongi's just special. he has a unique connection to whoever can relate to his music, and again, he is immensely kind and emotionally wise. he brings comfort the way someone who gets it, and loves you despite the pain, can. this counts for the three of them, but I admire their writing so much. also he's just so so resilient and loving.

namjoon is a lot like me in the way we believe life's beauty is something to draw comfort and joy and strength from. when i see art, when i read a book, when i admire a beautiful sky, I am living the way I should, because I am made better by it, and because it makes me want to cherish and preserve this beauty and the people around me to witness it. we share a love for art in all its forms, but also the same penchant for melancholy, for reflection. i feel immensely seen whenever I read one of his letters.

to be fair, I also love a lot of other groups, though not with the same intensity as bangtan. my favourites are: skz's rapline, in particular han jisung, yeonjun and taehyun and soobin, yeosang and hoongjoong, seonghwa, jungwon, woozi...

Who is your bias wrecker? the rest of bangtan!! I could write poems about each of them. I also (stupidly) think I get seokjin the way few people could, and love vminkook with the intensity of a thousand suns. i've been missing tae a lot lately

Which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/ bias wrecker? I miss taehyung and jungkook SO MUCH. I miss taehyung's unique self, even and especially when he just disappears to do his things and then goes live for 14 seconds, and i miss seeing jungkook just being the marvelous unique artist he is. it is especially unfair he can't do what he loves rn

When did you first discover the group? september 2020, shortly after dynamite had been released! one weekend of extensive content consumption and I was done for <<<<<< OMG SAME. the contribution youtube did to my baby army era... but yes, the dynamite samsung ad got me (though my sister had been trying to make me love them since ON was released, she got a 6 months start)

Have you ever been to one of their concerts? ahahhahahahahhah no.

What are some of your favourite songs by the group? answer: love myself, mikrokosmos, just one day, 24/7=heaven, outro:tear, crystal snow, seesaw, mama... i'm a big softie at the end.

i don't know a lot of people here... maybe @hoshifromkpop ? if you want? and whoever sees this u-u

[songmingisthighs]

Blog Rules + FAQ

I've been wanting to make this for a while because I feel like some of you don't have manners (I'm talking about you anons 1-8) and it's hurting those who I'm trying to accommodate (and me ??? bc y'all annoying as fuck, go suck a cactus)

this list will be updated as i go so please refer to this post if you ever want to know something regarding this blog

I don't have many rules bc honestly, this blog is both a joke and a safe space. but the most important rules that I implement are :

the anonymous function is there to accommodate those who want to interact but don't want to reveal themselves or don't have their own account so they borrowed someone else's account and just do not want to out themselves. so, if you have any complaints, comments, critiques, writing suggestions or even straight up hate comments, do it to me off anon or else that's you giving me your consent to absolutely obliterate the fuck out of you and I'm not even kidding when i say i can be SO MEAN when i want to be

that being said, if you do have genuine questions or confusion or even want me to elaborate on some things, do consider the words you use and their connotations. there's a difference between "i don't think this makes sense" and "i don't quite understand this, what does this part means?" or "you're offensive" and "i feel like the word you use is rather insensitive" and I would GLADLY make a 2 page essay to explain my thought process because i know that sometimes the things i say can rub some people the wrong way even though i don't mean it. but for the sake of the shit i wrote like to imitate real conversations between characters esp in terms of like how close and comfortable they are with each other (the kind of relationship hey have), I'm risking myself offending some of you but that's why i am beyond willing to explain myself if y'all ask bc let's be honest, i can't post an explanation after EVERY post when no one is complaining.

tone indicators (/j, /hj, /gen, /affectionate) are never wrong esp if you and i haven't established a relationship bc there are some anons and some blogs that i interact with a lot and we are aware of our relationship alr

keep in mind that these rules exist to protect myself and the anons who genuinely do want to interact with my blog as anons. if you break any of my rules or if you cross me in any sort of way, i have god, an emoji creature that creeps the fuck out of everyone i know, and the fact that I'm a virgo with nothing to lose on my side, so you WILL get wrecked one way or another.

that being said, here are some of the FAQs i got.

q. do you do requests?

a. no, i'm not taking requests. between my series and the recurring ideas that randomly pops up in my head, i don't have the time and energy and frankly i don't want to disappoint. BUT !! if someone sends me an unsolicited request and it ended up inspiring me, i might do it but i'm not promising anything

q. do you only write for ateez?

a. rn yes, but it seems like I'm gonna start writing for xikers ??? and even though most of their members have reached legal age, i am currently not comfortable writing mature/rated stuff for them yet. rn I'm even still incorporating them into my ateez fics as to familiarize myself and i even have this baby!xikers and dad!ateez au thing i made with my friend so for now, that's the best i can provide

q. do you write yandere or darker themes?

a. it depends. i'm still struggling to label certain stuff ??? like i'm still familiarizing myself to the concept of CNC and kinkier stuffs and I'm still expanding my knowledge. that being said, i draw the line on the sexualization of : rape, incest, drugging, bestiality, (and more to be added bc ngl i can't think of anything else rn so I'll get back to you on that)

q. are minors allowed to interacy with your blog ?

a. absolutely, anyone is welcomed. but for the sake of safety and me not being cancelled, if you are a minor, please do not react with my mature stuff or the mature stuff i reblog. I'm putting a lot of trust in yiu guys so please DO NOT betray my trust

q. what apps do you use for your smau ?

a. i use Twinote and Fake Chat which are on android (google play) but idk if it's available on apple store

[withahappyrefrain]

have you ever felt so tired you can't even comprehend why exactly you're tired?? Like, it could be 27 things at the same time or just one thing but you literally can't pin point it so you can fix it!! That's me rn

And it's eating me up and it's ruining the only current source of happiness I have, which us tumblr. I could have the shittiest day but whenever I open tumblr and see what my favorite writers have been up to I just relax

And I love commenting on their posts, and interacting with my mutuals and reblogging every fucking chapter of a series I decided to binge read-- but now... I'm just so so tired I can't even enjoy it properly

Because it won't be the same yk? How will I give my thoughts on this awesome fic I'm sure this writer worked hard for and spent countless hours of their day perfecting it so it could be posted-- when I'm so tired? I feel like I'm betraying them😭 bc I wanna comment, I don't just wanna like it or just reblog it with tags only and nothing else (which is ok too), but I can't bring myself to have the same excitement I usually have bc I'm soooo burnt out

I probably sound kinda dramatic about this but reading fics is so important to me :( it's my comfort zone. And when I can't give love to my beloved writers while being this tired I feel bad. You know??

Ugh I just love this little tgm community I fell into, but I'm so tired and overworked I can't even enjoy it properly arrrrghhhh it's so frustrating

And now I have so little time to actually sit down and open tumblr and just enjoy being here. You're telling me I actually have to live my life instead of spending the day talking to these wonderful people I met online that live in multiple other countries in other time zones??? SJNSKSKSKSK *sobs*

Hi there!

I understand how you feel and I've been slowly getting out of that hole too. What I did that helped was a) talking to my doctor and increasing my anxiety medication and b) I began reading shorter fics to help build my brain back up. I accepted that at that time, I couldn't do long series. And I told my friends this and they understood!

So you can do that. You can also always give writers a shout-out or compliment or thank you in their inbox!!!

But you also have to take care of yourself too! I know what it's like to be in a funk, and I'm still kinda in one. I wish I could give you a proper hug ❤️❤️❤️