#like i know there's a chat but sometimes it just feels weird to talk y'know

[yayforstuffs]

had an absolutely magical experience on palia that was literally just me and a guy sat by the fireplace at the inn for like a solid hour doing nothing. lots of people stopped and just kinda looked for a minute before leaving. one person circled the couch i was initially sat on a time or two and i thought they'd join but they ended up not. somebody tried to talk to us in chat and neither of us replied. it was a fun bit, 10/10 would do again

[im-sleepdeprived]

Crazier • Pt. 2

wc: 8.8k (but totally worth it i PROMISE)

pairing: mcu!peter parker x reader

a/n: part two is here! she's a little long but i swear i've never had so much fun writing and editing a fic so i promiseeee its totally worth it !!! i love this one so much so please pleaseee let me know what you think ! i love talking to you guys (i feel the need to tell yall this is totally a PETER x reader fic you’ll understand but DONT WORRY ITS JUST FOR PLOT BRO)

warning: literally nothing, a few f-bombs, and kids going psycho (in the best way) at school

read part 1 here

The weird, auto-tuned, voice startled you and made you turn around, wiping your eyes so you could see clearly. When you saw who it was you rubbed your eyes again for good measure because there was no way. 

"Huh?" you said meekly, mentally slapping face palming for acting so dumb in front of New York's hero. 

His head tilted and his masked face shifted in what you could only guess was a grin, "I said can I walk you home? It's pretty dark and I don't really trust the streets and, trust me, I would know. Plus, your crying and being distracted is really dangerous."

"I'm not crying," you were, in fact, crying. It was obvious to both of you. Your red eyes and pink stuffy nose, despite trying to fight the tears so you could get home, only came in harder. 

"Ok well I'm just gonna ignore the fact that you're totally lying and ask again, can I walk you home?" despite there being a weird robotic tinge to his voice, you thought he sounded desperate. Plus you didn't really think he'd take a 'no' as an answer. Or if you were even allowed to give him that answer, he was a superhero after all.

So you nodded and his entire posture seemed to relax when you hadn't even realized he seemed tense. Wow, he must take his job seriously. You started walking, silently leading the way as he followed right beside you. 

"Can I ask why you're crying?" 

"You just did," you replied flatly not really meaning to sound so mean despite the tone you had used. 

You sighed, "Shit, I'm sorry Mr. Spider-Man, here you are being all nice trying to make sure I get home all right and I'm being a total ass." 

"No it's all right, you don't have to answer if you don't want to I just wanted to make sure everything was alright," his tone was soft, and somehow, despite not knowing him at all, you felt like you could trust him. 

"I broke up with my boyfriend," you whispered and you weren't really sure if he would catch it, but he did. 

"He must've been real stupid for you to do that, huh?"

You laughed. "God yes," your humor died down and your face fell, "but he was a great boyfriend, y'know, just...before he wasn't."

You passed the cafe that was near your apartment building when he asked, "What'd he do that made you snap?" 

You were silent for a minute, debating whether you should answer that or not when you finally stopped in front of your building making him pause beside you as well. 

"Well we're here," you slapped your hands together as you stood there awkwardly. 

"Yeah, yeah. Um, maybe we could chat again sometime, totally friendly, of course," he added the last part rushed, waving his hands slightly. It made you laugh genuinely this time. 

"Sure bug boy, I hang out on the roof a lot." you could actually use a friend to talk to after today. "If you're ever swinging by and you see me, you should stop to say hey."

"Really," Peter felt weird, you two had always sat on your apartment roof together, climbing up from your fire escape. And now he'd never get the chance to do it again. Not as Peter at least, but here you were inviting Spider-Man to hang out with you again. 

He decided he'd take what he could get. 

You smiled slightly and turned around to go inside when he spoke up again, "Wait how does tonight sound?" He asked, and if you didn't know any better you might even say he sounded nervous. That only made you smile more. 

"Tonight sounds great," you said., "Oh. And thanks for walking me home. I really appreciate it." You shoot him one last smile before finally turning around and getting inside. 

Despite it being dark on your way home, it wasn't that late, it was just winter. You started your homework and worked swiftly, not giving in to any of the distractions you usually did. You wanted to be completely free tonight. Maybe befriending Spider-Man would help improve your grades too. 

When the clock struck 9 p.m. and your parents went to bed, you closed your door and silently locked it before walking over to the window and pushing it open. 

You grabbed a book and headed up, deciding to read until he got there. It was freezing despite the big sweater you were wearing. After waiting five minutes and him still being a no-show, you decided to go make some tea. 

Making your way down, you made two mugs of tea as quietly as you could without waking anyone in the apartment. It didn't take long and soon enough you were carefully making your way up the fire escape again, trying your best not to spill any of the hot liquid. 

While you were focused on steadily moving so you didn't spill your drinks, you didn't notice the masked hero sitting on the ledge. 

"There you are," his voice startled you but, miraculously, the tea didn't spill, "I've been waiting for like, forever." You had a feeling he rolled his eyes. 

"Oh shut up," you handed him a mug, "I was just up here dumbass. But it got cold so I decided to make us something hot." 

He used his free hand to put a finger on his chin, tilting his head, as if in thought, "Having trouble deciding if I should be offended you called me a dumbass or flattered that you made me a cup of tea."

You laughed out loud and he felt his heart flutter, the sound a nice contrast to the yelling that had gone down between you two earlier that day. 

"Wait so I never got your name," he asked in fake interest. Obviously, he didn't need you to tell him. But you didn't know that. 

"Y/N. what's yours?" you asked innocently and it was his turn to laugh. "Ha! Nice try," he joked and you just shrugged. 

"Whatcha reading?" He pointed towards the book you had brought up with you, "Business or pleasure?"

You laughed, and grabbed the book, "Definitely pleasure. It's my favorite actually. I've read it too many times to count."

His heart fell a little. Your favorite? How did he not know that? He remembered the cover though..or maybe just the color scheme of it. The more he thought about it the more he realized he didn't really remember the book at all. God, he really couldn't blame you for ending things. 

"Can you tell me about it," he asked softly. He loved it when you went on about a topic you loved and all the facial expressions and hand motions that came with your storytelling. 

"Are you kidding? I can write a 20-page essay about this book," you scoffed lightly, "but I really don't wanna bore you so it's okay." 

"No way! I asked, so how would you bore me. Tell me about it, maybe I'll pick it up from the next bookstore I pass."

So you did. You went on and on about certain themes that stood out to you while reading, and how important some lessons were. You showed him your annotations and notes and he realized you really weren't joking about the '20-page-essay' quip. 

He loved the way you were so passionate about the subject and all the thought you'd put into this. But seeing you like this made him realize something, it'd been so long since you'd been like this with him. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't really remember the last time you'd gone on one of these little rants with him.

Some time while you were talking you'd both finished your tea (him only pulling up his mask to the tip of his nose, taking a sip, and quickly bringing it back down. he didn't wanna risk anything), setting the cups far to the side. 

He let you finish before talking, "Wow that's a lot to take in, am I the only person who's been fortunate enough to have this wisdom passed onto them?"

You laughed, "Kinda, yeah."

That shocked him a little, at least if you hadn't shared it with him he thought you might've talked about it with MJ. He might not have known much (apparently) but he knew how much you loved to talk about a book after you read it, whether you liked it or not. And the fact that this was your favorite and you'd read it multiple times and hadn't shared it with anyone was weird to him. 

"Really? How come? Are your friends not into reading," he asked, trying to be subtle. 

You just shrugged, "I don't really have friends," he made a sound of disbelief which made you chuckle before continuing, "I mean obviously I have friends in the traditional sense of the word but I'm not close enough with anyone to just speak my thoughts like that, y'know?"

He tried, he really did, but he could feel the hurt coursing through him, did you never feel comfortable enough around him? 

"Really? you seem like the kind of person who has too many friends. What about your boyfriend?" 

"ex-boyfriend," you corrected him bitterly, and it left him wondering if you felt that same pang of hurt adding those two extra letters that changed everything. 

"Right," he said quietly, "but still, did you never feel comfortable enough around him?" He knew it wasn't his place to ask you such questions, hell it wasn't his place to be talking to you at all, you had made that clear, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't just leave you alone to walk home alone, hurt, and in the dark. And now, he really wanted to know what your answer to his question would be. 

You wanted to make a joke about how he was really going at it with the questions but you didn't have it in you. So you just thought about it a little before answering, "Well of course I was comfortable with him, at one point I guess, he wasn't just my boyfriend he was my best friend. And I guess that's what really sucks the most about the breakup.

"He was the only person I shared anything with but it just got to the point where I used to try and talk about anything and he'd just blow me off. It happened a few times before I just stopped altogether, it hurt too much when it felt like he didn't care. I stopped and it was like 'If I don't say anything, I can't get hurt'. If I didn't talk then I wouldn't feel that rejection again and I always had the little part in the back of my brain that said 'Of course he cares but don't say anything,  just in case.'

"He's a busy guy, and I get that, I really do. I just never thought he'd get so busy he wouldn't care about me anymore."

You hadn't realized how close you'd come to tears until you felt yourself sniffle, "Shit, sorry," you laughed bitterly, "I didn't mean to get emotional, it's whatever now, it's over."

Peter heard his heart crack. Saying he felt terrible was an understatement. He felt horrendous that he made you feel that way, even worse that he didn't even realize that he did until you just said so. 

"God I'm so sorry," he said, his voice feeling weak and he was extra thankful for the new voice-changer he'd been using lately. "He sounds like a total jerk." He was, he definitely was. 

You force a little smile, "Oh well," you shrugged, "we'll both move on." 

But deep down, neither of you believed that. 

You had a long night. Turns out your city's hero had a lot more to him than you'd originally thought. He was extremely funny, always making little remarks about everything, and he was a great listener. Not a boring one either, he asked questions and seemed genuinely interested in what you were saying. 

It was the main thing on your mind that day that you almost forgot the problem at hand. Almost. 

Going back to school was something you were dreading. You didn't want to see Peter at all, just thinking about it was totally ruining your mood. 

You arrived and headed straight for MJ's locker. You tapped her shoulder, "Heyyyy," you said, making her narrow her eyes at you. 

"What happened," she deadpanned and you sighed. You rubbed the bridge of your nose just making her more skeptical. 

"Peter and I broke up." You said softly, not meeting her eyes. If you had, you would've seen they were filled with rage. 

"What," she asked lowly making you look up. You two were good friends but you didn't really think she'd care much, just because MJ wasn't the best at showing emotions like that. 

"Yeah, yesterday after rehearsal I broke up with him. He pushed it too far," you shrugged trying to put it off as nothing but she could see right through your charade. 

"C'mere," she slammed her locker shut and interlocked your arms together making you smile in delight. This was so unlike her and you were going to enjoy every moment. 

It was like that, your elbows locked together, you beaming and her with a dead-set look on her face as you headed for first period. You were so caught up in the joy of MJ being a little touchy-feely for once that you didn't realize she wasn't actually headed towards class but instead down the hall towards the locker of your ex.   

Luckily you caught on while you were still a few feet away, dragging her to a stop in the student-packed hall. 

"Hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing?" You looked at her, raising an eyebrow. 

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Going to chew out your ex-boyfriend for being a dick," she said as if it were obvious. 

You snuck a glance at him just in time to see him swerving his head opposite direction. So, he had definitely seen you. You shook your head, "Mj you can't do that, you'll scare him so bad you'll send him into cardiac arrest."

She cracked a smile at that until she looked in his direction and her face fell again, "No way. I'm gonna beat him into a pulp I swear-"

"Michelle," she tensed as you used her full name, "I'm fine. In fact, I broke up with him." Her shoulders deflated. "I'm not letting him off the hook that easily," she mumbled and you nodded, not really expecting her to. "I'm gonna give him the death stare all day long." She continued. 

"And I'm sure he'll turn to stone by the end of the day," you said reassuringly. Her face lifted a little. 

"But if he even tries to pull some stupid shit, I will not hesitate," she gave you a look that said 'this is the one thing you have no say over' and you nodded again. Anything as long as she didn't approach him and embarrass the three of you in the crowded school hallways. 

She seemed satisfied with that answer, and so you both turned around to actually get to class this time but not before you snuck another glance at Peter who, for some reason, was looking a little paler than a few seconds ago. Even a little..scared? Maybe he heard MJ's threats, you humored yourself, turning your head away from him again. But that was impossible because the halls were way too crowded for him to have overheard you both. Not to mention you were still a ways away from him. 

The rest of the day went by easier than you thought it would, with extremely minimal interactions with Peter. none, in fact, after the MJ incident (who had stuck by your side all day like your own personal bodyguard). 

Of course, it might've been because you were avoiding him. You knew his schedule well and you knew where he'd be at almost all hours of the day. Even in your shared classes, you'd charmed some other students into switching seats with you so you didn't have to sit beside him anymore.

There was no rehearsal today so you dragged MJ to get ice cream with you, despite her initial refusal. You just needed a distraction, you didn't feel like going home and drowning in your thoughts for the rest of the day so you were gonna stall as much as you could. 

You paid for your ice creams and MJ chose a booth in the back for you both to sit at. Once upon a time, you all used to come here as a group (you, MJ, Ned, and Peter) and sometimes just you and Peter alone on simple dates. The memories hurt to think about so you pushed them aside trying to only focus on the sweetness of your chocolate ice cream. 

"So why'd you do it," MJ asked bluntly. You looked at her and furrowed your brows, not knowing what she meant. 

She sighed, "Why'd you break up with him? I can see how down in the dumps you've been all day, you clearly didn't want to do it, so why did you?" She didn't ask it in a nosy manner, just simply, as if she were asking you for today's date.

You exhaled slowly, trying to buy yourself time because as much as you didn't want to answer her question, you had to. You felt as if you owed her that much with how extra kind and supportive she was acting today, despite that going against her usual personality. And plus, she was your friend so she should know. 

"You know how he was MJ, I always told you," you sighed. You look down and start picking at your nails. "He just promised that he'd be there for one of my rehearsals claiming that, since they meant so much to me, he should go to one. And even though I kept telling him no and that he probably wouldn't be able to make it, he promised,

"He promised, and he still couldn't show up. So it just made me start thinking, and if he can't keep his word with simple things like that, how can I trust him with bigger things like a relationship? All the other times he's bailed on me, no explanation, and I'd just feel so stupid and hurt after getting stood up again. And I just snapped I guess."

MJ nodded solemnly as the bell above the door rang. Just out of curiosity, you looked up from your ice cream and you immediately wished you hadn't because walking in was Peter and Ned.

"Speak of the devil," you muttered as you buried your head down, letting your hair cover your face. MJ gave you a confused look before turning around and seeing just what you were talking about. She muttered a few profanities before grabbing your hand and dragging you up by your wrist. 

As soon as you stood up two pairs of eyes landed on the both of you and before you could even think about where to run away, Ned was heading towards you with Peter right at his heels. 

You cringed and MJ stood up straighter and tensed. You put a hand on her shoulder to remind her to relax and not turn on 'kill mode' yet. 

"Hey guys," Ned said smiling big and for a second you thought maybe Peter didn't tell him about the breakup. Until you saw him send a not-so-subtle slap to the back of his shoulder but Ned ignored it. 

"Hey Ned," you said softly giving him a tight smile and avoiding Peter's eyes despite feeling them burning holes into your skin. MJ just stood stiffly. 

"Funny running into you guys here huh? Me and Pete just came here for a little treat, y'know we need a pick-me-up after that math quiz," he laughed and you forced a small chuckle. You two seemed to be the only ones trying, Peter was just staring at you the whole time and MJ was glaring at him, waiting for him to try something so she had an excuse to pounce. 

"Say, aren't you in the same class Y/N? How was the test for you," he asked, clearly trying to keep the conversation flowing but as you opened your mouth to answer, someone else did. 

"Well, this has been just great. Not," MJ said which made heat rush to your face. As uncomfortable as you were, you never wanted to be rude to them, especially Ned. He had done nothing wrong and he was only being nice. 

"But Y/N and I have plans to be elsewhere so see ya later Leeds. And Parker, you might want to blink before your eyeballs dry out, not that I'd mind," she muttered the last part but you all still heard it so you sent a slap to her arm. She just shrugged as you turned towards Ned, still avoiding even looking at Peter, "Yea it was nice to see you Ned but we do have somewhere to be so we should catch up some other time," you tried more politely. 

"Yeah, of course," he sent you another smile as MJ dragged you by your arm out the door and you waved lamely at him. You both stopped as the door closed behind you. you inhaled deeply, trying to calm your nerves. 

"Oh my fuck, that was stressful," you muttered. 

MJ gave you a sympathetic look before gesturing to follow her, "Come on, let's find somewhere else to hang out."

you followed her and looked into the window of the shop where you saw Peter and Ned hunched over whispering about something. probably about how awkward that interaction was. 

"Come on y/n, pleaseeeeeee," Lexi begged, giving you big, wide, puppy dog eyes. 

It was the next day after school and you were currently being bombarded by the whole cast and crew to play a big round of truth or dare with them. 

So they sent Lexi to convince you, knowing how close you two were. And also how stubborn she was. 

"But we have work to do," you whined pathetically. "Y/N honestly everything is done. and plus, we have one more rehearsal before opening night so if we did miss anything, which we didn't, we'll get it done that day," someone else from the crowd yelled, the rest yelling in agreement. 

They were especially laying it on you because Mrs. Lightbody was absent today, leaving you in charge alone. 

"Y/N/N, what are you even worrying about," Lexi asked, "you have everything memorized down to a 't'. Like, honestly, if any one of us had to bail last minute you could totally take over because I know you have every part of the script memorized." Everyone else was laughing in agreement and you looked down knowing it was true. 

"I mean, come on, isn't truth or dare such a 'seventh grade' kinda game," you tried for measly, knowing that what she said was true, almost everything was ready for the big day and the minor stuff left could be taken care of at the last rehearsal. 

"Well if you don't wanna play truth or dare we can always do something else," Lexi offered, giddy at the fact that you might actually agree. 

"How about a scavenger hunt," someone suggested. 

"Yeah! Me and Jack can write up a bunch of lists of tasks to do and items to gather. It'll take us less than 10 minutes," Lacy offered. 

Everyone looked around and you finally spoke up, "Sure why not," you gave in and everyone started cheering, some even whistling, "A bunch of kids running around an empty school? What could go wrong?" you told them, the whole group laughing loud. 

Everyone lounged around for a few minutes while Lacy and Jack laid out somewhere on the stage, pulling out a bunch of empty papers and started writing on them. You watched as Jack said something that made Lacy laugh, making a blush form on his cheeks. it had once been like that with me and Peter, you thought, but you tried not to let that bitter feeling seep in again. 

As if sensing your distress, Lexi came over and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, "Hey," she said softly, "maybe this'll be good for you, y'know. You work really hard and you need something to forget about that Parker kid for once. so let's go wild and run around the school a bit." you smiled, thinking about how ridiculous this whole thing really was and how Mrs. Lightbody would endlessly scold you if she ever found out. but you also couldn't help the excitement bubbling in you. this sounded like a lot of fun. 

"Yea, you're right," you agreed and you both lounged out on the stairs on the side of the stage until Jack stood up on the center stage and whistled, gathering everyone's attention. 

he waited, Lacy beside him holding a bunch of paper scraps, until everyone was close until he began, "Fellow children of theater," he started dramatically, "I hold before you midtown's very first, annual, theater games." everyone cheered and clapped. 

"You may gather into groups, as many as you like, just no more than four to a group, please. Now if you will, sort yourselves, and once your group is ready, come grab the paper that will have your tasks from Lady Lacy." He finished and motioned to Lacy who took a bow and everyone clapped once more. Man, you were gonna miss these kids once this play was over. 

you and Lexi decided that you were just going to go together but as you were getting ready to get up on stage, Brad Davis approached you two. 

"Hey," he greeted with that charming smile of his. Lexi greeted him while you waved silently beside her. 

"Mind if I join you two," he asked the both of you, but his eyes were only on you, searching for your reaction to his question. 

"Of course Brad," Lexi said, being the overly polite person she was. He nodded but he was still looking at you hopefully so you decided to answer, "Of course, you can join us," you smiled slightly. "After all, three minds are better than two. And I'm sure we'll need the extra help with whatever those two have planned for us," you motioned to the two leaders of this event, making Brad and Lexi laugh. 

The three of you made your way to Jack and Lacy to grab a list of tasks. You approached them, "Hey Lace, can we grab a sheet?"

"Of course," she said sweetly. She grabbed a paper then looked down and laughed lowly. you all looked at her confused and she just ignored you, turning to nudge Jack. He didn't help your confusion when he looked at the paper and burst out laughing. 

"What? What is it," Lexi asked, stepping forward. Lacy shook her head, "It's nothing, it's just," she laughed a little more, "me and Jack sorta wrote this one as a joke, the tasks on here are hella extreme, and frankly," she looked at you, "I don't know if you can handle it Y/N." 

You must've looked taken aback because she quickly added, "I mean no offense, honestly you're so smart that if I had to choose anyone to actually complete these I'd choose you."

"Then why don't you think I can handle it," you crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow. "Well I know you're a stickler for the rules," she started, "and these break basically all of them."

"Lemme see that," you snatched the paper out of her hand and read it. well, you started to read it, but after seeing the first two tasks, you stopped. 

You looked up to see her and Jack fighting off smiles. "I can totally get another one for you for you," she started to reach for the paper but you yanked it out of her grasp. "No, no, no. I'm doing this," you stated. 

She and Jack exchanged a look, "are you sure," he asked you weakly. You raised your head and put on a defiant look, you loved proving people wrong, "Yes." 

You walked away, Brad and Lexi close on your heels, only stopping in front of the auditorium door. 

"Can I see it," Lexi asked? You nodded, handed her the paper, and watched as she read through it. Her eyes widened every time she read something on the list, Brad reading over her shoulder. 

"Y/N, I love you but you're crazy," she said. You went to reply to her but just then, Jack was at the center of the stage again. 

"Everyone has a task card, each group will try their hardest to complete all the tasks they were given. We will meet up here in an hour and a half and the winning group will be treated properly." He looked down to set up a timer on his phone. "But there is a trick to this," he paused for dramatic effect, "there's is an obstacle my partner and I have withheld from you all,

"We are, in fact, not alone in the school. There was a teacher meeting to be held after school hours and we have a few stranglers still wandering the halls. So you must be careful not to get caught," he smirked and you feel more of that excitement rush through you. You could really use the adrenaline rush this would definitely bring. 

He looked up, holding his phone up for everyone to see, his thumb hovering over the green button that would start the timer, "Let the games commence!" he yelled as his thumb hit the button, the numbers already starting to go down quickly as kids started rushing out the doors. 

"Oh my god, we are so gonna get caught," Lexi whined, making you laugh. "Well, we aren't gonna win with that attitude, come on Lex, live a little."

"Yeah what she said," Brad laughed and stepped forward to hold the door open for the both of you. 

"Such a gentleman," you muttered as you stuck your head out to look down the halls both ways before grabbing Lexi's hand and dragging her after you. 

"Read the first one Lex," you whispered as you scouted the halls for any sign of movement. 

"'Bring back a lightbulb that is currently being used in one of the rooms in the building'," she read off the paper. 

You thought for a second, "Most of the school uses tube lights so where can we get a light bulb?"

The three of you were quiet for a second before Brad piped up, "The library has ceiling fans that use lightbulbs," he suggested, but it sounded more like a question. 

You clapped him on the shoulder, "Brad you're a genius." His face seemed to light up at your compliment. 

The three of you headed towards the library, running into a few other kids who were also trying to complete their lists. 

You quietly opened the doors and motioned for Lexi and Brad to stay behind as you made sure there were no librarians or teachers present. Once you were positive the coast was clear, you let them in and went towards the ceiling fan furthest in the back, in case anyone walked in. 

You stood up on the table but you couldn't reach, "Brad, you're tall. Get up here," you instructed and he followed. 

"I have a better idea," and before you could ask what it was, he picked you up by the waist and lifted you up to where you could easily unscrew it. 

You carefully twisted it until the light gave out and the warm glass fell into your hands. You looked down at Brad, who was still holding you, and smiled, "Thank you." 

He smiled back and let you down, both of you stepping off the table. Lexi clapped lightly, "Ok first task done," she grabbed a pen from her pocket and crossed it out. As soon as she lifted the pen from the paper you heard a door close. 

You all looked at each other panicked. You brought a finger up to your lips and quietly tiptoed your way between the shelves, leading them to the back exit. 

Everything was going smoothly until Lexi accidentally bumped into a chair making it fall to the floor, the metal making a loud noise. You all froze in your tracks as the school's librarian's voice rang out, "Hello? Who's there?"

Quickly thinking, you handed them the lightbulb and ushered both of them to the other side of the shelf as her footsteps sounded closer and closer. Once they were completely hidden from your view you pretended to browse the books on the shelf just as Ms. Smith approached you. 

"Oh Y/N, it's just you. What're doing here so late," she asked, her scratchy voice prickling your skin. 

"Um well, as you may know, I'm directing the school play that's performing this Friday," you said. She nodded for you to go on, still looking suspicious. 

"There's actually a rehearsal today and I managed to find some time to sneak away to the library to get a book," you continued, having no idea where you were going with this. 

"You came here this late just to get a book? You know the library is closed at this time of day dear, it's only open during school hours," she said, still sounding suspicious so you knew you had to bring out the big guns. 

You sighed looking down, trying your hardest to seem heartbroken, "Well you see Ms. Smith, my boyfriend broke up with me and I just really needed to get lost in a good book to forget how hurt I am," you forced your voice to crack and looked away wiping your eyes from nothing. 

"At the 'Greek Mythology' section," she questioned, and you almost faltered. But you were too committed. 

You nodded, your lip quivering, "he always used to tell me stories of the Greek myths. And the story of Orpheus and Eurydice," you let out a choked sob. "it's so romantic."

She ate. it. up. "Why yes it is, it's one of my favorites actually. Well, you take your time dear," she rubbed your shoulder as you buried your face into your hands, "and let me know if you need anything else, alright? I'll be up at the front desk."

You just sobbed harder until she left. Once you were sure she was gone, you moved your hands away from your face, which was bone dry. 

You went behind the shelf to find Brad and Lexi shuffled together. You had to hold your laughter until you exited into the halls. 

You grabbed Lexi's hands and laughed, "Did you see how she totally bought that?"

Lexi laughed with you, "You were really good Y/N, I almost bought it too! And the fake crying? Absolutely genius."

"Yea Y/N, I almost thought you were fresh out of a breakup," Brad added and you laughed again. "That part is actually true," you inform him, "everything else though, was a part of the bit. Peter doesn't know the first thing about Greek mythology let alone the story of Orpheus and Eurydice." you laugh. 

"Oh? So Parker's out of the picture," he asked and you just nodded as you read the next task on the paper, not noticing his smile. 

You were dead set on doing everything on this list

A little over an hour had passed. You and Brad were currently busy unscrewing one of the circular seats from a cafeteria table. Of course, you had no tools so you had to improvise. You found that if you bent a bobby pin just the right way, it'll do the trick. 

You kept twisting the bobby pin until you heard a clattering sound as the last screw fell off. Brad held up the seat as the three of you grinned. You were so gonna win this. 

You stood up and opened up the bag with the rest of your supplies as Brad added your new prize. You had stolen a trash bag from the janitor's closet to hold everything for you. As the three of you walked down the hallways holding the most random collection of things, you spoke up, "Lex, what's next on the list?"

She looked down and the smile that was previously on her face quickly disappeared as she seemed to pale a little. "Oh no," she muttered. 

"What? What is it," you asked as you all stopped in your tracks. 

"It's the last one," she said and you smiled, happy that you'd made it this far. 

"Ok so what's the problem," you asked, not really seeing what she was getting at. "Out of everything on this list," she started, "this is the one that will for sure get us expelled."

You and Brad exchanged a look, "Hit me with it."

"We have to steal the principal's desk chair." 

"Those little shits," you muttered, your hands clenching into fists. "So that's it right? I mean, we got everything else on here, we don't have to win. We made it further than any of us thought we would," she said but you were already shaking your head. 

"We have to win, we are going to win," you were so determined to win this stupid game and you weren't even sure why. 

Lexi looked up, closed her eyes, and brought her hands up together, "Dear god, I'm too young to die. my parents would kill me."

Brad laughed as you headed down the hall towards the principal's office. Once you reached where you could see it, you crouched, the others right beside you. 

the walls on his side of the office were glass and you could see Principal Morita sitting at his desk. You sighed and turned to face your partners, "I have a plan but it's a little crazy."

"Oh please, this whole thing has been more than a little crazy, just hit us with it Y/L/N," Lexi whispered. 

"Ok one of us will have to lure him out while the other two wait behind the door. While he's in the hallway and whoever's with him is keeping him distracted, the other two sneak into the office, roll the chair out the other door, and wait around the corner. Once we're done and completely secure, we send some sort of signal and he's free to go back in."

You were unsure, it was a little all over the place and really risky but they were both nodding at you. "Ok I can distract him, I know exactly what to talk to him about," Lexi offered and you laughed. 

You looked at Brad, "Guess it's you and me." You started crawling to the other side of the hall, careful to stay low so Morita wouldn't see you. 

"Yup," he muttered, "your regular Bonnie and Clyde." You held in a laugh as you got situated on the brick wall at the side of the office, made sure you were out of view from the door, and motioned for Lexi to go ahead. 

She took a deep breath and knocked on the door, the sound ringing out loud in the quiet hallway. It didn't take long before the door opened and was held right in between you and your school's principal. 

"Um, yes, may I help you," you heard him ask. 

"Sorry to bother you sir, but I really needed to talk to you about something," Lexi said desperately. "Ok why don't you go ahead and take a seat in my office," he offered. "NO," she cleared her throat, knowing she had said that too loud, "what is mean is, no I can't I'm kind of in a hurry." You heard her take a few steps back. "We should just speak out here."

Mr. Morita followed her, letting go of the door as he stepped forward but Brad grabbed the handle before it could close. He held it open for you as you crawled in and he followed behind before quietly shutting it after him. 

You two crawled up to his office careful not to be seen since this side of his office wall was made of glass. Currently, his back was to you and Brad while Lexi was facing you but was careful not to let her eyes wander and betray her. 

"Ok," you silently opened the door, "we'll need to pick it up until we round the corner because the noise of it rolling would definitely catch his attention."

"Alright I can handle that," Brad said as he grabbed the legs of the chair and stood up but you motioned for him to stop. You moved out the door and peeked your head around the wall the tiniest bit. You saw Lexi passionately going on about something and from what you could see of Morita, he looked a little uncomfortable. You made a mental to ask her later what she was going on about. Once you were sure that Mr. Morita wouldn't see you, you stuck your hand and made a 'shooing' motion. 

You weren't sure if Lexi would see it or not but she must've seen it from the corner of her eye because she moved so that she was facing the hallway you had to go down head-on, making Morita turn even more as he listened to whatever it was she was rambling about. 

Now, with his back directly towards you and the new direction you were headed, you both left the office and you silently shut the door. Brad quietly put down the chair, "Get on," he ordered. You looked at him a little confused as he tried again, "Come on, it'll be fun."

Hell, you'd already done way crazier things today than you ever thought you would. One more couldn't hurt. So you sat on the chair as he picked it up and walked down the hall. You had to hold in your laughter. 

Once he turned the corner he set you down, stuck his head out, and shot Lexi a thumbs up. Less than a minute later, she approached you guys. "Go before he sees us," she whisper-yelled. 

You were still sitting in the seat and Brad took it upon himself to push you through the halls. It was such a rush, laughing in the chair with your hair flying around you, two of your newest best friends right behind you. It was one of those moments that you knew right then and there how special it was and how much you cherish it in the years to come, all the moments from today actually. You never would've participated in something like this. Ever. It was fun to be pushed out of your comfort zone, to loosen up a bit. And it was especially fun to do it with these two.

You all arrived at the side doors of the auditorium breathless, you from laughter and Brad and Lexi from the running and laughter. 

"Oh. my. GOD. I can't believe we actually pulled that off," Lexi said, smacking her forehead, eyes wide. 

"Hell yeah, we did," you looked at Brad and grinned as you held out your hand for a high-five. "Lex," you turned towards her, "time?" 

She looked down at her watch, "Ten minutes before the deadline," she smiled. She opened the door for the three of you and you all walked inside, extremely proud of yourselves. 

The auditorium was empty, to your surprise, with only you three and Lacy and Jack working on something up on stage. You all walked up the steps, "Hey guys," you spoke up. 

They looked up a little confused hearing your voice, "Oh hey Y/N," Jack said, "done already?" you nodded casually and looked down picking at your nails, peeking up to see the shocked expressions on their faces. 

"No way," Lacy whispered, "there's no fucking way you could've done all that." She said, louder this time. 

You looked up, as if in thought, and put a hand on your chin, "Really lace?" Brad brought up the bag, he had stashed it in a hallway while you did your little office heist and the chair. "Cause I thought I just did," you smirked. 

They stood with their mouths agape while the three of you just grinned at each other. 

"Well I'm impressed," Jack said as he looked at you and your friends, "can't wait to announce the winners!"

The three of you sat on the edge of the stage while the rest of the groups piled in and handed their lists to Lacy and Jack so they could assess them. Soon enough, everyone had filed back into the auditorium and after a few minutes, Jack shooed everyone off the stage so he could make his announcement. 

Once everyone was standing below the stage, Jack walked up to the center as he had done almost 2 hours before. "Students of Midtown," he bellowed, "I come to you with news of your latest adventure. We have gone through everyone's task list and the little prizes they brought back. I'm disappointed to say that only one team completed every task given to them."

Murmurs broke through the students as they wondered which group could've finished everything in so little time. You turned toward Brad and Lexi, "Wait we finished everything so does that mean-"

"I'm pleased to announce, however, the winners of the scavenger hunt. Y/N Y/L/N, Lexi Walker, and Brad Davis, congratulations!" Applause shattered all around you while you, Brad, and Lexi were hugging and high-fiving.

"Get on up here," Lacy shouted. You three were pushed forward by the other kids. You all walked up the steps and stopped in the middle of the large stage. Lacy and Jack turned to grab something and when they were facing you again, you saw what it was and you laughed. They were holding three makeshift crowns, made of cardboard. They were colored yellow (probably with a Crayola marker) and had big colorful jewels glued on the tips. 

"Do you like em,'" Lacy asked with glee, "Me and Jack made them while everyone was out."

"I love them," you told her truthfully. The two of them approached your group and crowned you all separately as you stood in the middle with Lexi to your right and Brad to your left. 

Jack stepped back, "Ladies and gentlemen, fellow students of Midtown High, let's hear it for the first winners of our very own theater games!"

Applause and cheering roared all around you. You smiled but then remembered something. Leaning to the side towards your friend, you whispered, "Hey Lex, what were you talking about with Mr. Morita, y'know, when you had to distract him for us?" She grinned at you evilly. "I told him that all the girls' bathrooms in the building should have a handful of free menstrual products because incidents happen every day and distract us from our schoolwork."

You threw your head back laughing as she laughed along with you. "Lexi! What did he say?"

"He got so flustered I barely kept him out of his office as long as I did." She told you and you laughed even more. "I can't believe you had the confidence to actually do that," you choked out between fits of laughter. Everyone was still clapping below you. She only shrugged, "Someone had to do it. I was just fortunate to be handed the opportunity." She said it so wisely, you didn't know whether to laugh some more or solemnly nod. 

You looked down at your watch and realized rehearsal had actually ended a few minutes ago. You stepped forward, "Thank you, everyone, really. I hope you all had as much fun as I did because I had a blast," you looked back at your friends and smiled, "but, as you know, all good things have to end. It's getting late and before we all start heading home I wanted to talk to you all about something,

"The day after tomorrow is the last rehearsal for us which really sucks because I always look forward to these things. No, seriously, sometimes they're the only thing to get me through the day." Chuckles and little shouts of agreement spread around the group, "And the day after that, is the long-awaited play we've all worked so hard on. And as much as I can't wait to see how amazing everyone's going to do," you looked at Lexi, who smiled right back, "I'll miss seeing your faces every day so, please, if you see me in the hall or in class or something, don't be a stranger. And at our next rehearsal, Mrs. Lightbody will definitely be back so I expect everyone to keep their mouths shut about today. Or none of us will live to make it to opening night."

Everyone clapped with a few people yelling things like "wWe'llmiss you too Y/N" and "Don't worry, this won't be the end of us!" that last one was Jack being as dramatic as ever. You laughed, "Great, now everyone, get your asses home before I get kicked off the cast for keeping you all too late."

Everyone was running around getting their things ready and you were about to do the same when you remembered something. "Hey Lace, Jack," you called them over, "what are you gonna do with everything?"

they looked at each other and smirked before looking back at you, "oh don't worry Y/N, that's for us to worry about." he told you, setting unease in your mind. 

You chuckled stiffly, "Um, well, be careful I guess?" They laughed, "Of course we will Y/N/N." Lacy said. 

"Ok, well then I'm gonna get going now, bye!" You waved at them and they both waved back. You stepped off the stage, grabbing your bag from the corners of the steps where you'd left it. You were almost at the door when you heard your name being called. Turning around you saw Brad 

"Oh, hey Davis," you smiled. "hey Y/N. I was wondering if I could walk home with you," and if you didn't know any better, you'd think he sounded a little nervous.

You laughed, "Of course, you can Brad," you started walking out the door, "unless you're trying to kidnap me then no." you deadpanned, making him laugh. He put up both hands, "Hey, my criminal record is clean and I plan on keeping it that way."

You were outside now and the roads were wet. Apparently, it had rained while you guys were getting it crazy back at school. You fake pouted, "Ugh, that sucks. I have a thing for bad boys," you smiled up at him widely. He dramatically threw his head to the side, getting rid of the hair that had fallen on his face. "Well, I'm as bad as they come."

"Oh?" you questioned, raising a brow. He nodded and leaned in, putting a hand to cover his mouth as he whispered in your ear, "One time, I was trying to parallel park between two cars and I accidentally hit one of them so I got scared just and left."

You burst out laughing, "Oh my god, I was not expecting that. BRAD! you committed a hit and run!" You laughed some more as he just shrugged, "What can I say? I'm just that cool." You fake swooned on him, throwing a hand on your forehead, "Oh my goodness Brad Davis, take me now!"

he laughed as you pushed yourself off him, laughing along with him. It was like that for the rest of the way and you realized how funny he was. He went along with all your bits (which was always appreciated) and made some himself. The walk went by quickly and was over faster than you would've liked. 

You stopped in front of the door to your apartment building, "Well this is me." Brad stopped beside you. "Y'know," you started, "you're way cooler than I thought Davis."

He laughed, "Glad you finally figured that out. Maybe we could do this again sometime?" 

You nodded, "Yeah, I think I'd like that." He grinned, "Great." you two sat there just staring at each other for a few seconds, the only sound was water hitting the ground as it fell out of gutters, and when he looked like he was about to open his mouth and say something, a car honked and splashed the two of you, leaving the two of you soaked from the side. 

You squealed in surprise and laughed. "Holy shit! Well, my socks are ruined now." Brad laughed along and you missed the twinge of disappointment coating his features. "Well, see you tomorrow Brad!" you waved at him as you turned to walk into the building. 

As you made your way up the stairs, you couldn't help the excitement still coursing through you. Maybe Spider-Man would pay you a visit. You had a lot to share after today.

read part 3 here !!

[mamabearneeds-her-dietcoke]

Soft touches- Colby Brock

summary: you and colby had just started dating and he realizes how much he loves receiving affection from you.

a/n: guys i am literally begging you please give me suggestions or requests literally anything. Twd, snc, criminal minds, supernatural, i recently got really into Johnnie guilbert so I'll write about him too, literally please i am begging you guys i have 79 drafts and no idea what to post 💀

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You were in your room editing a video while on live. You were answering questions and laughing as you were telling stories to your fans. There was a small knock on your door.

"Come in." You say. You turn your head to see your boyfriend walking in. "Hi baby." You say, a smile immediately crossing your face at just the sight of him. "Hey, whatcha doin?" He presses a quick kiss to your head before looking at your screen. "Editing a video on live." You say.

You glance at the chat and its full of compliments and comments on the two of you. "Thank you for th compliments guys!" You say with a smile.

"Babe look at my new hoodie!" He steps back and shows it off. "I like that one it looks good on you." You say. "Everything look good on me." He says in the same voice he would use fir Colleen, causing a laugh out of you.

"You're right everything does look good on you." You say. "How much longer are you gonna be on live?" Colby asks. "Uhm maybe about twenty minutes? Why?" You ask. "Jake wants to have a movie night and is insisting on everyone being there." Colby says with a playful eye roll.

"Okay, I'll be done in a bit and I'll come down." You say. "Okay." He goes to walk away but you call him back. "C'mere." You pull him down by the chain he was wearing and you give him a kiss. "Be down soon." You say before focusing your attention back to the screen.

He walks off and you glance at the comments.

"did you see how he looked at her?"

"Literally the cutest couple out there."

"I would have died if someone kissed me like that."

"Colby move its my turn."

You smile reading them answering more questions that pop up abd such. Finally you ended your live about twenty minutes later and there was another knock. "Yeah?" You say as you get up from your chair. And walk to grab your phone from the charger by your bed.

"Brotha come in it is time for movies!" You hear Jake say. "I'm on my way, I just ended live." You say. You turn back around and Jake is standing right in front of you. "Bruva. We must go now." You laugh at the British accent he's talking with as he grabs your arm and pulls you all the way downstairs.

You sit next to Colby, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and snuggling up to him while Jake picks out the first movie. Colby pauses for a second before wrapping his arm around you. "You ok?" You ask while looking up at him. "Yeah, sorry." He smiles.

"Aww look at the cute couplee. You disgust me." Corey says. You laugh at the face he makes. "Would you like to join us brother?" Colby says. "Really?"He says in a funny voice. You and Colby both open up the arm you have free. Corey comes over and plops on the two of you.

"Oh my god Corey." You say laughing, trying to keep him from falling off the couch. "This is really great thank you guys." Corey says. "Of course Corey." You say with a small laugh. He actually ends up staying like yhat for a little bit before getting up abd complaining about his back.

After many many movies, Just about everyone was asleep except the two of you. "Y'know I love you right?" Colby asks. "Of course." You say looking to him. "I know sometimes I act weird about physical touch. I dont mean too.' He says. "I know, just let me know if you ever get uncomfortable." You say. "I dont think I can with you." He says.

You smile as you cuddle up next to him, feeling his arms tighten around you. The two of you fall asleep on the couch, along with everyone else.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Maybe I’m Not Scared of What You’re Thinking Of - Simon Lynch/Reader

Prompt: Don't you know what you mean to me?

Warnings: Gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, friends to lovers, slow burn, growing friendship, angst, hurt/comfort, brief canon-related mention of violence, kissing, fully clothed grinding, kindness and praise makes Simon cry ;w;

Wordcount: 14270

Summary: It's a complete coincidence that you meet him, and even though he's a little weird and there's an anger in him fueled by pain, you know that you might be all he needs to be defused.

Notes: It's Simon's turn! I have a lot of feelings about Simon!! As soon as I saw his episode my heart went out to him a lot, he's so me-coded (aside from y'know the homicide lmao) and he really only needed someone to believe in him, so here's a whole ton of words about you doing just that QwQ I've also decided that this will be his own continued world like I did with Joshua, so any future stuff will take place during or after this~

You really regret accepting this blind date after the 30th straight minute comes and goes, your date still talking about himself on his side of the table.

He came highly recommended from your mother, the son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker, and it’s clear she did no actual research on him since you have nothing in common. You just keep smiling and sipping at your drink of choice, his words falling on deathly bored ears as he keeps trying to pitch his business to you, something about a private server for paying customers to get his advice or some dumb shit you haven’t seen a million times before. Sometimes you wished you’d been born in the past when things were simpler, because any idiot with a podcast and access to the internet always came to the same conclusion that they could be the Next Great Thing, and this guy definitely does not have what it takes.

He’s about to write down his contact info so you can check out his server right now, right in the middle of your date, his food cold in front of him as he just keeps choosing to talk instead of eat, and you just stare at him tearing off the paper to hand to you as you pray your souring expression isn’t giving you away too much. ‘Uh, sorry, I don’t have Facsimile,’ you lie as he holds it out to you, but it doesn’t dissuade him as he then says it’s super easy to sign up, he’ll help you. ‘No, I mean I’m not one for all these chatting apps, I prefer some good, old fashioned talking,’ you continue, another lie although not quite as much, for while you do prefer talking face to face, hence the date, you had so many chat apps on your phone to keep in contact with everyone that they had their own page on your home screen.

‘It’ll be worth it, trust me, I already have a bunch of guys giving their own presentations on my server, I’ll even give you a free week’s trial to check everything out, whattaya say?’ he asks, clearly more interested in expanding his brand than making any sort of actual connection with you, and this time you let your face scrunch up in pained awkwardness.

‘Yeah, it’s gunna have to be a no, sorry,’ you cringe, and his smile slowly falls as he crumples up the paper and stuffs it inside his expensive name brand jacket, obviously bought to show off to everyone how ‘successful’ he was.

‘Fine, no it’s fine, I just thought you were smarter than that,’ he grumbles just on the border of passive aggressively, your eyebrows rising as your opinion of him somehow manages to drop even lower. ‘You figure you give someone a chance to get in on the ground floor of something because you think you’re vibing, but I guess it was just me.’

‘Uh…’

‘How is everything?’ The small voice draws your attention from him as you look up to your savior, your eyes just going higher as the person towers over you, even when he’s hunched over a bit to take up as little space as possible as his co-workers pass by him to get to the other tables. Your mouth falls open a little bit as your eyes meet, long bangs just barely swept to the side to reveal dark brown irises that almost appear black focusing only on you as he ignores your date, and you forget to answer as the man across from you answers for you.

‘We’re doing great, just fantastic, thanks buddy,’ he growls, now eating his food as quickly as he can so he can get away from you. ‘If you could hurry up and grab the checks though that would be even better.’

‘Is there anything else you’d like? More water, or a refill?’ He completely ignores the other man as he focuses on you, which pisses him off even more, and you join in on that as you smile politely up at him.

‘Everything’s perfect, although I could go for a refill, thank you,’ you tell him, and he gives you a nod without once acknowledging your date, who’s already gotten out his wallet and is looking up the prices of the bar on his phone; he pulls out enough to cover the meal but passes over his beer and the tax, because that’s too much work to calculate it even with his phone in hand, and he gets up and sarcastically wishes you a nice life as he bails, the silence a nice change as you continue eating alone. Your server returns a short while later with a new glass and the checks, and when he sees the money left behind he puts two and two together.

‘I take it I’m not getting a tip from him,’ he figures, and you laugh into your glass, almost spilling the liquid all over the table as you try not to choke.

‘I doubt you would’ve anyway, he was a prick,’ you admit, which makes him smile, and you decide his smile is actually quite nice as he starts clearing the other half of the table. ‘Hey, uh, would you wanna sit with me? Just for a little, it’s kinda embarrassing to eat alone after that disaster.’

He glances at the freshly vacant seat before looking around, and he leans over to lower his voice, his eyes on the table as he speaks. ‘I should really get back to work,’ he whispers, but you gesture in front of you in a welcoming manner, and he follows your hands before sitting and hiding his apron behind his arms, the nametag of Simon just barely peeking out before it’s covered up.

You flash him another smile before getting back to your lunch, it’s amazing how listening to someone that incredibly annoying can really kill the appetite in the moment, and he tries not to watch you as he makes sure he’s not about to get in trouble. You finish off your first glass and start on the second since you did ask him for it, even if it was an excuse to ignore your date initially, and you catch the way his eyes watch your exposed throat as you tilt your head back; unlike the other person sitting there previously you don’t feel objectified, or like you were a piece of meat to devour after the sell was over. It’s refreshing, and you offer him your plate in case he might want something to eat before his break, but he refuses, of course he would.

He keeps his eye on his watch but never gets up, and as you pop a fry into your mouth you can’t help but want to talk to him as he meets your eye and looks away immediately after for the third time in a row. ‘You work here long?’ you ask to start, and it’s a lame start, but just the fact that you wanna hear about him has him leaning forward in his seat before he controls himself, sits back again.

‘Just a few years, this is actually my second job, I mainly work with Data Waste,’ he tells you, his voice getting away from him for a moment before he lowers it again; it’s obvious that no one asks about him often, just this small amount of attention enough to make his face light up in a way you don't see often anymore, at least not when you talk about work related things.

‘So, you waste all the data?’ you joke, and he leans in again, the plate pushed aside as he fights to keep his voice under control.

‘No, it’s really interesting actually, I get access to all the trashed data in the city, sift through it to find anything incriminating or important, things that were lost or gotten rid of, delete anything useless; my co-workers think it’s pretty boring, but you can’t imagine the things I’ve seen on some people.’ He stops, realizing he’s about to violate his NDA, and you chuckle as he looks around again like he expects his boss from his other job to suddenly appear and fire him.

‘Sounds exciting, you ever see anything on me?’ you can’t help but ask as you lean in as well, and there’s a slight dusting of pink on his cheeks as he sits back again.

‘I dunno, I’d need to look up your name,’ he answers honestly, and you smirk at his reply.

‘Pretty smooth way to ask for it,’ you tell him, and when he stutters out that he wasn’t you just laugh and grab the check so you can see your total. You pull out your card so you can pay, and you’re in the middle of reaching for your ex-date’s check as well so you can cover the rest when he stops you.

‘I’ve got it, you don’t have to deal with trash like him, that’s my job,’ he jokes back, and when he hands you his card reader you make sure to leave a large tip from the both of you. You hand it back and his eyes go wide, he can’t accept this, but you just flash him your most charming smile and hand him one of your business cards from your wallet, something you printed up years ago but rarely got to hand out since most people used electronic cards nowadays.

‘It’s for making me laugh, today would’ve been pretty shitty otherwise,’ you admit as you stand, and when he stands with you you can see that he really is tall. 

‘Okay, well… if I find anything I’ll give you a call, then? Just so you know what people are deleting about you on the internet,’ he offers, and you hold out your hand to shake his as your expressions softens.

‘I’d like that.’

It’s been a week and a half since your lunch date gone wrong but also surprisingly gone right again, and you’re at home working on a project when an unknown number lights up your phone. You frown at it before clicking into the chat and seeing a bunch of strange messages before the stranger clears things up.

ur sqky clean no trash on u sry it took so long was busy this is simon sry from the bar from last week sry

You smile fondly as you type in a quick reply, your phone lighting up again as he answers fast, he must’ve been waiting with baited breath on the other side. You add his number to your phone and answer back, another quick reply getting you to decide to take a snack break as you bring your phone to the kitchen. The more you chat the more he sees that he doesn’t have to use shorthand, his words lengthening and becoming more proper until you’re wondering if maybe he’s trying to find the perfect mix that won’t annoy you. Eventually he settles on a mix like you do, and you get comfy on the couch with your snack as you turn on the TV and find something to watch.

It’s hard to find things sometimes, you’ve had this older model for years and it isn’t compatible with every streaming platform’s updates anymore, which you think is dumb, but the thing works and you don’t wanna shell out money just to be able to watch whatever new reality show everyone’s talking about as it airs. You stick to your playlist of favourite movies and shows again, settling on one you’ve already seen a million times so you can chat without needing to pay attention.

After a half hour you add each other to Facsimile so you can chat more openly without wasting data, his username of 4LM0ST-HUM4N making you snicker as you check out his profile, but it’s bare apart from his age, which is around yours, and his full name, his last name being Lynch. You can’t help but look him up since you already knew he’d done the same to you, and all you can find is a dating profile on a site you’d heard about but never used.

‘“Shy and looking,”’ you say out loud to yourself as you read his info, and you sink a little further into the cushions as his unfortunately off-putting but also undeniable cute profile picture stares you directly in the eye; you can tell he took it alone, he’s all washed out in the glow of his computer instead of from the room’s overhead or any natural light, and you almost want to call him out on it and help him try again, maybe he might get some matches that way.

You don’t mention the profile as you keep chatting, and before you know it the next movie is autoplaying, your battery low with how long you’ve been on your phone. You figure it’s about time you get back to work as you tell him about the situation, and he agrees, he’s also been putting off work, and you wish him a good night, adding in, ‘That data’s not gunna waste itself.’ He sends you a bunch of laughing emojis before changing his mind and editing the message so there’s only one, to which you give him one back, and he starts typing something else but stops. You wait but he never starts up again so you leave it be, your phone charging out of reach as you get back to work.

Now that you’ve been reminded that he exists and you find his company quite pleasant, you take a ride to the bar on your lunch break the next day, keeping your eye out as casually as you can until you see him clearing a table nearby. You wait until he’s done before waving at him to get his attention, and his smile is so big that it makes him self-conscious as a group of people pass him by, it faltering as he gets out of their way. He takes his dishes to the kitchen and quickly returns to take your order, and even though you’re sitting at a table and a menu is in your hands, you surprise him when you ask him when his break is instead of telling him what you want to eat.

‘My break?’ he repeats back to you, like he doesn’t understand the question.

‘I just figured you might want to eat somewhere you don’t work,’ you simply say, and he glances at his watch to check the time.

‘I get off in 15, but we can eat here, I don’t wanna take up your break by traveling,’ he offers, but you just shake your head and set the menu down.

‘I work from home, I can take as long as I want,’ you tell him, and it’s not exactly a lie since you do have some things to for sure finish today, but losing an extra hour to hang out with your new friend seems like a pretty good tradeoff honestly. He accepts your answer and goes back to work with a shy grin, and you patiently wait at your table until he returns, a brown hoodie slung over his arm and his apron left behind. 

You get up and follow him out to the street where he gets ready to hail a cab, and thanks to your convo from last night you already knew he didn’t drive, but you don’t want him to waste any money when your car was in the parking lot. You direct him to it, and in your head you can hear your mother warning you about letting strangers into your vehicle, but apart from being a little weird he has yet to give you any red flags or warning signs, so you unlock the door and hop in.

‘There’s this place downtown that’s pretty good,’ he says as soon as he sits down, and you try not to giggle when you see how his long legs don’t really fit in the space as he tries to find the seat adjust nonchalantly. ‘They mostly do burgers, but their menu is loaded with stuff, you just need to know what to ask for.’

‘I take it you know?’

He glances at you, his hand stilling momentarily as it's wedged between the door and his seat, and when he does find the button he lets out a noise of surprise as his chair suddenly shifts backwards. ‘Yeah, yeah I go there a bunch, I think I’ve tried almost everything so far.’

‘Why not get a job there instead of here if you like it so much?’ you ask as you start the engine, and he looks down at his lap in response.

‘Cause I- I actually didn’t apply to be a waiter,’ he mumbles, your head turning towards him as you pull out onto the road.

‘Did you wanna work in the kitchen or something?’

‘I wanted to be a bartender, actually, but they needed a server, so that’s what I landed on,’ he explains, and when you go to ask for the name of the place he just directs you down the street, ignoring the GPS entirely. ‘It’s actually been a little dream of mine to open my own place, but starting a business is expensive, and saving up is a little hard even with two jobs, city living isn’t cheap.’

‘You could try for a loan?’ you suggest, but he just shakes his head.

‘I dunno… going that far would make it real, y’know? I don’t think I’m ready for it yet.’ He points to the left as he speaks so you hit your blinker and turn, this is a part of town you’ve never been to before.

‘You could always try, and if it doesn’t work out then I’ll keep cheering you on until it does.’ He’s looking at you like your words are about to make him cry, and he’s so preoccupied with you that he nearly misses the restaurant, your brakes screeching down the thankfully empty road as you back up and turn into the parking lot. You’ve never even heard of this place but the lot is almost full, and you manage to find a spot before he’s getting out and waiting for you, the chill of the fresh, spring air making you both shiver and hurry inside.

The place is warm and cozy, the smell of food instantly making you hungry even though you were feeling pretty okay just moments ago, and he smiles at you before you seat yourself and wait to be served. A large menu is placed in front of you and he was right, it is mostly burgers first and foremost, but as you turn the pages and see everything else available you feel your mouth water. You look up to ask what he recommends just in time to see his eyes disappear over the top of his own menu, and you grin and decide you can’t beat the house special, which is a double bacon burger with everything on it. He orders the same as soon as you tell the waitress, a big plate of loaded fries to split as well as onion rings added as well, and when you’re left alone again you rest your elbows on the table and get his attention.

‘How long have you been coming here? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk about it before,’ you admit, and again his eyes shine when you ask about him.

‘Most of my life, I used to live around here when I was younger so this was our go-to place when we wanted to eat out,’ he explains lively, and he looks around and gestures towards the decor. ‘It was different back then, they did a rebranding back in the early 2030s, changed the name and everything, but I still call it by its old name whenever I recommend it.’

‘What was the old name?’

‘The Hotel.’

You laugh, your hand covering your mouth as you try to keep it down. ‘I bet that might’ve caused some confusion,’ you chuckle, and he nods.

‘Oh yeah, I always have to correct myself,’ he agrees with his own laugh, the two of you still going even as your drinks are dropped off. You sip at yours, taking in everything and wondering what the place looked like back then when he stretches out and accidentally bumps your knee with his own; he quickly says sorry as he tries to retreat back to his side of the table, but you tell him it’s okay, and your reassurance makes him balk, like he’s been told off too many times for similar occurrences.

‘So, tell me, why do you wanna open your own bar?’ you quickly ask before he can shut himself off from you, his shyness returning and looking more like anxiety as he clearly gets in his own head about something so small.

‘Well, it’s just something I’ve always wanted to do, like I love the atmosphere, everyone coming together for a little while to share the space and a few drinks, it’s a good place to forget about your troubles for a bit.’ His eyes are on the table as he fiddles with the brown paper covering, your glasses creating dark rings where they’re set down on it.

‘You can say that about a lot of places,’ you add, and he agrees, but his eyes meet yours as he tries to get you to understand.

‘I know but there’s just something special about it, if your customers come there enough it can become familial, you can make bonds with people, offer them an ear when they’re sad, share in their laughter when they’re happy… I guess I’ve just always wanted to be a part of something like that.’ He looks back down again, the paper tearing and making him stop, now picking at his nails instead.

‘It sounds like you wanna connect with people, you don’t need a bar to do that,’ you say softly, carefully in case he might take offense to it, but he doesn’t, just shrugs.

‘I know, but… I still think it would be fun.’ His eyes meet yours again, and there’s something behind them as you look between them, something lonely that you haven’t seen in them before. You wonder then how long it’s been since he’s been here with someone, if his family still met up with him here, but based on his eyes you think you know the answer.

‘Well, if you do ever open that bar, then I expect free drinks for life as your first customer,’ you tease as you hold up your glass for a promising toast, and your faith in him makes his eyes look a little less lonely as he raises his own and taps the rims together. You drink as your waitress comes back with your food then, and it looks even better than the picture as you grab on tight and take a big bite. It’s the biggest burger you’ve ever eaten but it might also be the tastiest, the toppings sliding against your palms as you try to hold it all together, and you can see him having just as much trouble with his own. You laugh again and take another bite, your conversation moving onto more cheerful things as you eat, from family stories to complaints about work, bad dates to how your week was going, your overbearing but well-meaning mother to his absent father, but he isn’t as upset about it as he used to be as you sit with him and listen, he confesses. 

You douse your half of the fries in ketchup as he dips his own in ranch, and he has more onion rings than you do before you realize it, and when your plates are empty and your glasses hold nothing but melting ice you finally look at your phone and realize you’ve been there for over an hour. ‘Shit, I need to get back,’ he panics as he stands, and you wave over your waitress as you both get out your wallets.

‘Hey, I got you covered, can you go start my car?’ you tell him as he searches for the card he wants to use, but he can’t accept that, even more so than the tip from last week. ‘I insist, this was a much better date than my last one,’ you say with a wink, and he fumbles his next words as you toss him your keys. He rushes out with flushed cheeks, and you instantly let your emotions show on your face as you mentally ask yourself why the hell you actually said that as you pay.

You run out as soon as you’re done and speed off back to the bar, the car quiet until you say your goodbyes, and you watch him go until he disappears through the double doors with a small wave.

It becomes a bit of a thing for you two as you meet up for lunch every Friday after that, with you trying something new at his recommendation each time, and after around 7 weeks of this he flashes you the biggest smile as you sit down at your usual table, Simon already seated and waiting. ‘What?’ you ask, his smile spreading to you, and he holds out his phone to show that he had an appointment with the bank on Monday. ‘Oh my god, are you-?’

‘I’m doing it.’ He’s practically bouncing in his seat, only stopping when he bangs his knee off the metal support and makes the table shake, his excitement so strong that you could probably start bouncing as well if you were to be completely honest with yourself.

‘That’s amazing! Do you need a ride? We can go together, it’s after your shift is done, right? Or should I pick you up at your place?’

‘I-’ His smile falters a bit but he pushes it aside, and it feels a little forced as it returns. ‘I’ve got a ride covered, but thank you. Maybe we can meet up at the bank when it’s over? I can text you, if you’d like.’

‘I’d love that, I’ll be sure to work extra hard so we can celebrate the night away.’

Everything goes quiet as you realize what you’ve said, since while you have been texting almost daily you still have yet to hang out outside of your lunch dates; you’re not even really sure if they could even be called that seeing as, apart from you calling the first time that as a joke, neither of you actually confirmed there was anything more than friendship going on between you. Still, you both take it seriously as your usual waitress approaches to take your orders, and neither of you bring it back up again after she leaves.

‘I’m really proud of you, Simon, this is a big step you’re taking,’ you do say to break the silence, and when he looks at you you can swear he’s about to cry again; it actually hurts in a physical way whenever you see that, and you curse whoever beat him down enough to have this be his default reaction whenever you give him any kind of compliment or praise.

‘I don’t think I could’ve done it if you hadn’t cheered me on, might’ve found more excuses to put it off.’ He looks so vulnerable in this moment, his hands clasped on the table in front of him, and you glance down at them and nearly reach out to grab one when he continues. ‘Actually, because of you, I kinda started paying attention to my old LoveMatch account, turns out I got some messages when I was offline.’

Your smile freezes on your face as you unexpectedly go cold, your reaction to his words catching you off guard as talking becomes hard. ‘That’s… that’s wonderful news, anyone catch your eye?’ you finally ask, and he goes pink as he shakes his head.

‘Not yet, I didn’t get many but I still wanna check them all out, see if maybe my soulmate is one of them. Wait, that’s kinda desperate, isn’t it? I don’t actually think my soulmate is on some random dating site but… it’s nice to imagine, right? It’s like you said, I- I just wanna connect with someone.’ He’s looking only at his phone as he talks, scrolling through the unopened messages still waiting for him, and it feels like you’re watching the conversation from afar as your ears start ringing, your hands shaking as you try to figure out why you’re feeling this way.

He’s cute, you can’t deny that, and you enjoy his company a lot, but you haven’t thought about an actual relationship with him until this moment, when it was made apparent to you that that wasn’t what he wanted. And now that he was considering someone else, picturing a life with someone else, you know that you wanted to be with him, not in a casual, Friday lunch date and daily chats kind of way, but in the way where you’d visit him on his off hours or you’d bring him to your place, where you could have a nice dinner, watch movies together, no more table between you as you curl up against him or have him lean against you. You could hold his hand, and he could tell you about how his day at the bar, his bar, went and about all the new people he met, and when he was done you could cup that enticingly strong jaw of his and angle his face up to yours.

‘Are you okay?’

You blink and your vision blurs, and you quickly sniff and search your pockets for your travel-sized bottle of emergency ibuprofen. ‘Yeah, yeah I’m good, allergies are just acting up again, gunna go blow my nose and take my meds real quick before this gets gross,’ you lie with a fake smile, making sure he can’t see the label before you run off, and he buys it completely before going back to his messages. You don’t let your facade crack until you’re safe in the bathroom, the weight of how much you had fallen for him without realizing making your knees buckle, and you lock yourself in one of the stalls as you desperately try to push down the fact that he would never feel the same.

You’d managed to keep it together as you finished your lunch get together - not date, never date - but you spend the rest of the weekend moping around your apartment after that, your eyes on your phone as you lay on the couch and watch some old favourites to cheer yourself up, but each time he leaves you a message you feel your heart ache and it always takes a while before you can answer back. You give him the excuse of being a bit behind on work so you can’t chat much, and he was fine with that because he was gathering up the courage to message a couple people back, see if there were any sparks, and you have to ignore your phone entirely as you bury your head in the couch pillow and yell.

Before you know it you’re waking up where you’d fallen asleep, the TV going through the night and the sunlight streaming through the wall of windows to the right of your couch, the brightness rousing you from your restless dreams. You reach limply for your phone but the battery died during the night, and you groan and stumble over to your desk so you can charge it. As soon as it comes back to life you see that it’s much later than you thought thanks to your alarm never going off, and you find a bunch of messages waiting for you.

‘Shit! Shitshitshit!’ you swear when you see that Simon had asked you to wish him luck before his meeting, and you’re already a half hour late to reply but you do anyway as you fully push aside all your feelings to wish him all the luck you possibly can. He doesn’t answer back, because he’s obviously in the meeting, and you end up too nervous about it to eat as you let your phone charge. Instead you skip straight to getting ready for the day, having a quick but much needed shower after your weekend-long mope session. As you dry your hair you then find something nice to wear that you secretly hope he might like, some part of you overcoming the misery to hope that if he’s ready enough for a relationship to use LoveMatch again then maybe you could have a chance, and that hope fuels you as you race back to your phone to see if he’s done yet.

you dont need to pick me up taking a cab home see you friday

Your hand reaches up to cover your mouth as dread fills you then, and you quickly call him, unplugging your phone so you can sit down. ‘Simon, where are you?’ you ask the moment he picks up, and all you hear is the sound of traffic before a small sniff is picked up by his phone’s mic.

‘Don’t come, I just wanna get home right now,’ he tries to tell you, but your body is moving when you hear his small voice, how broken he sounds, your keys in your hand and a pair of flipflops that definitely aren’t weather appropriate yet on your feet so you can be out the door faster.

‘Are you still at the bank? Which one is it, I’m heading out right now.’

‘Please…’

‘I’m already in my car, where am I going?’

The resulting silence to your insistence stretches on for so long that you’re about to just try every bank in town until you find him when he gives you the address, and you know the one exactly as you speed off towards it. You arrive about ten minutes later, and you’re scanning the area when you see him huddling from the wind in the alley, his hood up and people giving him cautious glances as they pass. You roll down your window and call out to him, and when he finds you through the gap you can’t help but let out a noise of pain when you see his face; he’s been crying, you hadn’t been able to see because of his hood, but now you can see that his cheeks are damp and his eyes are red, and you hurriedly unlock the passenger door and motion for him to come over.

He hesitates a moment before wiping his cheeks and jogging over, people bumping into him with how busy the street is, but he doesn’t do or say anything even as he gets a couple insults along the way. He opens the door, sits down, and as soon as you ask where he wants to go he hides his face in his hand and starts crying again. You reach out to touch his shoulder but he pulls away, he needs space, and you don’t try again as you drive back to your place.

‘I don’t know why I thought I could do this…’ he mutters to himself as you drive, and the lump in your own throat is so thick that it hurts as you try to swallow it down. You pull back into your parking lot and he finally notices that he doesn’t know this place, and you don’t shut off the engine as you turn back towards him.

‘You don’t have to tell me about it, but I’d like it if you came up with me, please,’ is all you say, and another tear rolls down his cheek before he’s nodding, following you to the front doors. Your place is pretty high up but the elevator ride isn’t awkward as he stuffs himself into the corner opposite of you, where you can’t see him as easily. You reach your floor before you know it so you lead the way to your apartment, and when the door opens and you set your keys back down on the small shelf nearby he takes everything in with an even sadder expression, which isn’t the way you were hoping it would go at all.

‘You- you have a nice home,’ he just says, and before you can thank him he’s already turning back for the door. ‘I shouldn’t have come up, I’m sorry, you shouldn’t talk to me anymore, I’ll leave you alone now-’

‘Whoa, wait, where did this come from?’ you need to know as you stand in front of the door, and he goes to move you aside before pulling back, he doesn’t even want to touch you. ‘Simon, I know I said you didn’t have to talk about it but- what happened in there? Why can’t I talk to you anymore?’

‘Because I’m-’ He flinches away from you as his voice rises, frustration apparent among the sadness, and he leans against the wall with a dull thud. ‘I was accepted into the police academy a few years back, before I got my job at the bar; I was training to be on the bomb squad, I thought my knack for technology could help save lives, and I practiced really hard, learned to disarm nonlethal devices I built myself to show them I could do it, that I could be useful to them.

‘But when they learned I’d been building things they thought I was doing it for the wrong reasons even though there was no danger to them, like I was going to learn how to build actual bombs next using the training I received; I was just learning how to cut the power without setting anything off, I was using fucking coloured lights to do it, there were no explosives on my devices at all! But it was enough to make them think I was a danger to everyone, and they forced me to take a psych exam which I then failed by their standards. I was kicked out of the academy, lost my job when the psych eval was sent to them the following week, even lost my apartment when my landlord got word of everything, this one mistake got me evicted in the middle of winter-!

‘And the guy I talked to today heard about it too, read about all of it when they researched me to see if I was deserving of it, do you know what I heard him say to his supervisor when he thought I was out of earshot? He- he called me “unstable,” and fucking “unqualified” when I told him how much I make a year, like he didn’t trust me to pay it back, like I was a failure before the bar even opened, and maybe he’s right, maybe I am a failure, I shouldn’t have tried, I shouldn’t have fucking tried-!’

He spins and punches the wall he was just leaning against and you tense up, your eyes shutting on instinct at the crash of his knuckles through the drywall; it’s the first time you’ve seen him angry like this and it scares you, but as he pulls his hand back and looks at his bloodied knuckles you feel no fear, just sadness.

‘I’m sorry, shit, I’m so sorry,’ he apologizes under his breath, hissing as he flexes his fingers, his hand shaking from the pain, and it would be so easy to end it all right there, kick him out too and never see him again after what he’s just told you, just done, but you can’t as you take him gently by the arm and lead him to your couch. You sit him down and go off to find your first aid kit, some big and overly full thing your mother made you buy when you first moved to the city, and you’re thankful for it now as you pull out the unsealed bottle of healing spray and spritz it against his torn skin a couple times.

For once you love the future as he heals, and while he’s fine now you can’t help but take out the gauze and wrap the area next just to make sure, your fingers resting over the fabric and the back of his hand as you hold him in place. ‘You’re not a failure,’ you murmur, and he tries to pull away again but you don’t let him. ‘What happened to you… it really, really fucking sucks, and none of it was fair, but… it doesn’t make you a failure, we can just try again until we find someone who can help you get that loan.’

‘I don’t even want it, not after today.’ There’s not a single trace of a lie in his words, he’s giving up, and you want so badly to hold him but you can’t. ‘It’ll just happen again, this black mark on my life will just keep following me, why even try?’

‘Because it’s your dream, remember? You told me you wanted to connect with people, no one should be able to take that from you.’ You’re moving closer to him, slotting yourself between his legs as your knees hit the bottom of the couch, he can’t run from you like this, but it’s like you’re invisible to him in his misery.

‘But they already did.’

You let go of his hand and get up, throwing your arms around his neck in a tight hug, and he lets out a sound somewhere between surprise and relief as he’s pressed into the couch; you’re practically in his lap like this, and you try to shift until you’re beside him instead, but your arms never leave him as you back up, your frown so deep it’s starting to make your head hurt. ‘They only will when you stop fighting for it, you haven’t lost it yet,’ you tell him in a hushed whisper, and something in him breaks as he crumbles into your hug, his head on your shoulder as he grips the back of your shirt as hard as he can, like he’s drowning at sea and you’re the only thing keeping him afloat.

You pet his hair comfortingly as he keeps talking into your shoulder about how it went, how he felt so worthless when he was rejected, how he tried to explain himself but it was all shut down, the man hadn’t even wanted to hear it because he’d heard enough, how he was so upset and hurt and angry that he was afraid of himself and what he’d do, and you just comfort him as he lets it all out. It takes a while but you never rush him, or interrupt him as he vents, you just keep holding him until he’s ready to let you go. You separate, and his eyes are so red as they avoid looking at you, but you just brush his bangs to the side before getting up and grabbing the tissues.

You hand him the box, and the smile he gives you isn’t as sad as he grabs a few, the lump in your throat easing up a bit at the sight. ‘I know you probably aren’t in the mood to celebrate, but if you just wanna grab some food and watch a movie anyway I could order something, or make something here? I think the Hotel might deliver this far, lemme see if it’s on Dumbwaiter.’ You’re already on your phone to check but he’s standing, his used tissues bunched in his hand as he looks for your garbage bin, his eyes on the ground again.

‘I’m not very hungry, thank you but I think I just wanna head home,’ he says after throwing them away, and your hand lowers as you take a step towards him, standing between him and the door again.

‘Please.’ You don’t mean for it to come out but it does, this is about him, not you, you have no right to ask him to stay when he needs space, but you can’t leave him like this, not now. Finally he meets your eye, and you can see that he wants to stay as badly as you want him to, and he opens his mouth to say something before he closes the gap, stands next to you and looks down at your phone. He taps your screen back to life and scrolls before he finds the Hotel’s real name in the list of places on Dumbwaiter’s delivery partnership, and he gives the name another tap before giving you the smallest smile, and it’s genuine and even less sad as his shoulder presses into yours.

‘Order the pasta today, all of their sauces are rich and they always serve too much, and get us the goat cheese spinach dip, it’s to die for,’ he says, his voice still wavering a bit after all his crying, and you just nod before adding it all to your cart, Simon taking off his shoes so he can get comfy on your couch properly this time. You pay for the meal and join him, offering him the remote but he has nothing he wants to watch, so you go to your favourites and pick the stupidest, funniest comedy you can find, needing something silly to lift the mood, and as the food is delivered and you both laugh with full mouths that almost get you to choke you end up wishing you could have this forever, that you could move to his side and hold him again.

You don’t, your phones on the coffee table along with your plates, the space between you feeling so much wider than it actually was as he stays with you until the sun sets.

Now that he’s been to your place your friendship only grows, your meetups changing from Friday lunches to properly hanging out, and it isn’t often he gets free time between his two jobs, but most nights of his are free and you’re always ready to drop whatever you can to see him when he asks. Because of your eagerness you’re slowly becoming a pro at keeping up with your own work, the need to procrastinate fading away like never before since being caught up meant you could go to him wherever he waited. You met him at both jobs, at the Hotel - which he got you to start saying as well since he never called it by its real name - and at the park, sometimes at the mall if there was something he needed to get and he wanted some company, but you’ve still never seen his place, and you’re starting to wonder where he lived.

You know it’s in town, since he got to and from work via Brougham and being outside of town would be hell on his paychecks, but you have no idea which part other than the fact that he used to live near the Hotel when he was a kid. You’ve tried asking before, but each time you do he just brushes it off, makes some excuse to why you couldn’t pick him up or drop him off there, and you’re starting to get a bit suspicious if you were entirely honest. You know he’s not homeless, he’s told you before how it took him a bit but he did manage to find someplace permanent and all his after his eviction, but this is getting ridiculous you think when he comes up with yet another excuse as to why you can drop him off on this random street you’re driving down, he lives nearby, he can walk the rest of the way.

‘Simon, you’ve got six bags of groceries in the back seat, it is literally impossible for you to walk home with them all,’ you say firmly as he just keeps looking out the window, and his lips purse as he tries something else.

‘It isn’t far and they’re not that heavy, I can do three per hand,’ he insists, and you step on the brakes in the middle of the road, no one coming or going as he jerks forwards in his seat at the inertia.

‘Why don’t you want me to see your place?’ you ask bluntly, no longer holding back, and he gets defensive, he’s more open with his anger around you now, but he hasn’t gotten as upset since that day, and you know it’s because he doesn’t want to lose control again, doesn’t want to scare you or himself like that again.

‘I never said I didn’t.’

‘You don’t need to; is it bad neighbours, or a bad neighbourhood? I don’t care where you live, or what your place looks like, I swear I don’t, so you don’t have to keep me away,’ you tell him honestly, and for a moment you think he might tell you when he unlocks his door and heads to the back. You just sigh as he gathers everything up in both hands and thanks you for the ride, but it really is close, you don’t have to waste gas going the rest of the day, he’ll see you Friday.

‘And… you don’t wanna know where I live,’ he mutters mostly to himself before the door closes, and he’s clearly weighed down by everything but he sticks with it, and you watch him just keep going further and further down the street until you have no choice but to take a U-turn and head home, and he’s still in your rearview as you hit a right and he’s forced to disappear around the corner behind you.

It’s a little awkward for you both after that, so you don’t bring it up again to make sure things even out, and it seems to help as you keep meeting up everywhere but his place, wherever the hell it is. He’s been to yours enough times now that you almost consider giving him a spare key so he can invite himself over, but it feels too personal for friends, and when you joke about it to test the waters he nearly spits out his drink in surprise. You clarify that it’s a joke as he sputters out that he’s never had someone’s spare key before, he’s never known anyone long enough for that.

‘You’ve known me for quite a few months now, maybe it might come in handle to have a spare out there in case of emergencies,’ you say next, instantly backtracking on the joke aspect of it with a little hope, and despite you initially calling it so he also looks a little hopeful at the possibility before his phone pings loudly. The moment is ruined as he stops your post-lunch walk through the park to see who’s messaging him, and his eyes widen as his smile grows and his face flushes. ‘LoveMatch, I assume?’ you ask, your teeth clenching in jealousy behind your smile.

‘Yeah, I’ve been messaging this one girl, Jeannie, a few days now,’ he tells you as he clicks in to see what she said, and his smile is so bright at her reply that you feel your stomach drop, your jealousy transforming into something that feels so much worse. ‘I think I’m gunna ask her on a date soon, when I can get an afternoon off so we don’t meet up too late, what do you think? Or should we talk a bit more first?’

The urge to tell him he should definitely talk more first arises because it’s true, you know what meeting too soon can do to a relationship before you can get a better feel for someone, but you also want them to meet before they’re ready; you want her to go in blind because you already know how to talk to him, know that there’s no way she’ll be able to get him out of his shell enough to consider a second date. You know he’ll be nervous, so he might say something weird like he did that first time you chatted over Facsimile, and if he does then there’s a good chance she might leave the date not wanting more.

You can’t do that though, you don’t want to see him rejected like that ever again after the loan, so you ball up your fist and give him a playful tap to the shoulder as he waits for your response. ‘Give it a little more time, get to know each other better, the perfect time for a date will show itself eventually, and if it doesn’t then maybe it’s just not meant to be,’ you suggest, and he nods before one-handedly typing out a reply back to her and putting his phone away. 

‘You’re so good with this kinda stuff, I haven’t been on a real date before, it’s why I signed up for LoveMatch to begin with, so I never know where to start whenever I get a match,’ he confesses as you go back to walking, your fist still balled painfully as you hide it in your jacket pocket. 

‘I’ve been on way too many bad dates by now, I’d like to think I’m a bit of an expert on it.’ Your laugh is strained but he doesn’t seem to notice as he looks straight ahead, his cheeks still pink now that she’s on his mind.

‘I can’t wait to meet her, she works at a flower shop nearby but I haven’t been in yet, I don’t wanna creep her out or anything,’ he says as his shyness crops up again, his expression cute until you remember this isn’t for you, it’s for her.

‘Just keep talking to her and it’ll happen, and who knows? Maybe she’ll like you as mu-’ You stop yourself from saying, ‘as much as I do,’ the words unable to come out as he turns to face you with a curious expression. ‘As much as I know she will,’ you finish, and he grins at the ground before taking another drink, your shoulders bumping for just a moment before he steps to the left to give you a bit more space, and you have to grip the inside of your pocket to keep from pulling him back to you.

About a week later he messages you as you’re working, your phone lighting up and buzzing energetically near your hand, and when you open the chat he tells you that she asked him on a date. Your face falls as you force a smile he can’t see, your thumbs typing him a congrats you don’t mean, not entirely, and when he says that he’s going to take her to the park you feel almost betrayed; you know it’s not your park, it’s just someplace you visit sometimes, it wasn’t like he was bringing her to the Hotel for lunch, that would hurt so much worse.

He then says he’s been thinking about packing a picnic since it felt more romantic, and that he was going to bring roses in her favourite colours since she told him she couldn’t decide between red or orange when they were talking about it, and you almost put down your phone as your chest aches. You want it to be you, you want him to ask you to the park for a picnic, you want to be able to pack your own favourites to share with him there now that the weather is nice again, you want him to bring you roses in your favourite colours even though you’re not even that much of a flower person just because they’re from him and he’s thinking of you.

You want to be her.

You tell him that that sounds like a great idea, she’ll love it, he should tell you how it goes afterwards if he wants to, which he does, since you’re his friend.

You’re his friend.

You send him a bunch of fingers crossed emojis and get back to work so he can start planning, the date is this weekend after all and he has things he has to do now, and when you go to bed that night your thumb hovers over the Sign Up button on LoveMatch’s mobile app until you fall asleep.

Three days later you find yourself lurking outside of the park even though you fought all morning not to, not knowing the exact time they were going to meet up and spending every second continuing that fight as you tell yourself to leave before you got hurt even more. You parked a block away so he wouldn’t recognize your car, and you’re wearing one of your thicker hoodies that you prefer to save for colder weather even though it’s making you sweat like crazy, the hood up as you walk around and see if you can find him. You’ve been there for hours now when you finally decide to go, this was stupid and petty and way too jealous to be acceptable no matter how you felt for him, and just as you’re about to leave you hear his voice echo faintly across the open area.

You look over and see him approach an unfamiliar woman, Jeannie, a big bouquet of roses in his hand and his Brougham waiting for him with an open door by the curb where he was dropped off at. He waves nervously at her, and she flashes him a big smile as he hands her the roses, she seems happy about them, and they chat for a little bit as you get a good vantage point behind a nearby tree. There’s people looking at you as they pass but you don’t care, you can’t leave now, and your jealousy turns to shocked offense as you watch her expression slowly fall.

She’s uncomfortable, he’s said something that she didn’t like just like you’d feared, and he picks up on it and motions for her to wait before he jogs back to the car, he’s still going to try and fix it with the picnic. The moment he’s away from her she puts the roses down on the bench they’re standing by and bails, her footsteps fast as she puts as much distance between them before his return, and your body moves on its own as you want to chase her down, demand to know why she did that. You lose her as you hear him come back to the bench, his voice calling out to her again but she’s long gone, and you freeze with your back to him as you hear him set down the basket, his car already driving off and stranding him there.

The lump is already forming in your throat again when you hear your phone go off, and when you pick up and turn to face him he’s already looking at you, having heard the ringtone you’d assigned to him from your short distance away. He looks hurt at your presence at first, then upset, then angry, and he leaves both the roses and the basket behind as he starts to walk away.

‘Simon, wait,’ you call out to him as you race after him, his long legs carrying him farther and faster as you quickly catch up, but you being there is just insult to injury and he does not want you to be there for him today.

‘You saw it all, didn’t you?’ he demands as he just keeps walking with no destination, needing to get away from you and his heartbreak as fast as he can, and you try to walk backwards in front of him but you can’t keep the pace, not when he keeps changing directions every time you catch up.

‘I’m sorry, I wanted to make sure it went okay,’ you confess before you can come up with yet another lie, and he scoffs at it bitterly.

‘Wanted to make sure I didn’t fuck it up like the loan, right? Well, sorry to break it to you, but I fucked it up again, I’m just one big fuckup!’ He takes another sharp turn to try and lose you in a dense crowd but you grab onto him, use him like an anchor as he tries to jerk away enough to make you let go, but your grip is strong and true as not even that works. 

‘You aren’t a fuckup!’ you insist desperately in a too loud voice for being in public, a group of mothers with strollers giving you the dirtiest look at your language, but you just give them a ‘give me a break’ look back before turning your attention back to him. ‘She just doesn’t know you yet, what did you say? Maybe you can still fix it? Or you could try one of your other matches? She isn’t the only one out there, you don’t need her!’

‘I told her that I wanted to meet her at work,’ he says, and that’s not so bad until he explains why it upset her. ‘I told her that I saw her place of work in the trashed data and I wanted to surprise her by ordering the roses from her, and she didn’t like it.’

Yeah, that’ll do it.

‘She- she didn’t get that you weren’t looking her up to doxx her or stalk her or anything?’ you hurriedly ask, and he just shakes his head, his pace slowing as you exit the main road and head down a less busy street, somewhere more private, probably unintentionally on his part.

‘No, I tried to explain that but her expression said it all, and when I got back…’ He slows even more, you both know how it ended and his lip is quivering. ‘She didn’t even have to guts to say goodbye, she just wanted to leave me there like I could be thrown out like the roses, like trash, that fucking bitch!’ He kicks the trashcan you’re about to pass and it crashes hard to the ground, the contents spilling all over the sidewalk as he loses control of his anger again. ‘I’m a person, goddamnit, why does this keep…’

You step around the trash as the wind blows it into your path, creating a river between the two of you that you cross to get to him, and this time when you try to hug him he steps back, puts a hand up to keep you away.

‘Don’t, just- don’t, I can’t be touched by you right now,’ he says softly, and he isn’t crying but he looks about to as you obediently back up, the trash spreading around you and making the river swell. ‘I’m going home, I’m sorry you keep having to deal with me.’

You try to tell him otherwise but he isn’t listening as he pulls up his hood and heads back to the main road, a cab hailed before he gets in and drives away, leaves you there alone. You lower your own hood and unzip your hoodie so your body can cool a little as you walk back to your car, and when you reach the bench you see that there’s a small group of concerned people gathering around the basket, all of them clearly thinking that it might be something dangerous.

‘That’s mine, sorry, it’s just a picnic,’ you say as you approach it, and everyone can’t help but peer inside as you prove it to them. In that quick glimpse you can see that he worked hard on the contents within, he made a whole bunch and even grabbed a few different drinks as well as a bottle of wine to split, and you swallow as you relatch the lid and grab the handle. The roses are still there too and you pick them up, they’re the synthetic kind you can tell as their scent is muted compared to the real thing, he wanted her to keep them for a while without them dying, and you hold them close to your chest as you finish the trek to your car.

You don’t look at the items in your passenger seat until you get home, and when you reach your apartment you put the flowers in a waterless vase and spread out the picnic on your coffee table. You choose your favourite drink, of course he would’ve brought it out of all the possible options, and open up the wine as well as you enjoy the picnic by yourself, not wanting to let it go to waste as you try not to notice how large your couch was without him there to enjoy it with you.

He ignores your messages for a while after that, so you stop texting him to give him some space, but that doesn’t stop you from at least typing everything out and deleting it before the temptation to press send overtakes you. You look him up on LoveMatch and see that he’s offline, and after looking up Jeannie’s name you discover a recent post she made in the site’s forums section; you click in and see that she completely tried to ruin his reputation on the site, warning others to stay away from him, calling him creepy and a stalker and claiming that he would doxx any matches. Your heart races as the comments join in, insulting his picture and saying he looked like a creep, how some said they had messaged him but now they were going to block, thanking her for the warning and telling her how sorry they were for having to deal with that.

You nearly come to his rescue but there’s no point, they’ve already made up their minds, and you instead flag the post as harassment and pray that it got taken down before he saw it.

He’s seen it.

He sends you the link without another word, your request to remove it denied, and when you look for his profile you find it gone.

He misses your next Friday lunch, and you figure enough is enough as you decide that if he wasn’t going to talk to you then you were going to talk to him. You wait until he gets off work before parking across from the bar, and you keep your distance as he hails a ride and heads home for the night. Your hands are gripping the wheel way too hard the entire way there, and when the car turns into a large, mostly empty lot sans a bunch of trailers parked inside as well as a few storage containers and miscellaneous vehicles and construction things for the building across the street you just keep going and pretend like you weren’t just following him. You wait until his ride leaves as you park nearby, and you casually walk up to the one you saw him heading for and hope that he won’t kick you out immediately as you knock on the door.

There’s the sound of stumbling from inside until the door opens and you step out of its way, Simon just looking at you before a cacophony of emotions plays across his face. ‘Hey,’ you say when he doesn’t shut the door right away, ‘you stopped answering my messages, I wanted to make sure you were okay.’

‘So you followed me?’ He’s more surprised than angry, which is good, but you don’t know how long it’ll last so you talk fast, needing to get it out while you have the chance.

‘You never told me where you lived, I improvised, I’m not the one with access to trashed data here,’ you try to joke, but neither of you laugh as you just stand there on his makeshift porch, which is just big enough to hold a single lawn chair and nothing else, another sign of his isolation.

‘I never wanted you to come here,’ he mutters just quietly enough that you almost miss it, and when you lean in to listen his expression hardens. ‘Your place is so nice, you’ve got a nice view, everything is so open, you do so well for yourself. But me, even with two jobs this is all I can afford, I can’t save up for my bar when I have bills to pay, can’t get a loan because I can’t pay it off if it fails, you’ve got everything so put together and I’m-’ He stops, he’s been looking at the ground the entire time but when he falls silent he makes a point to purposefully not look at you, and you can see the shine in his eyes as he shifts from foot to foot, resists slamming the door in your face. ‘I’m a fucking loser.’

‘You’re not-’

‘I got kicked out of the academy, I got evicted, I got denied for my loan, I got dumped before my date even started and now every other match I made has me blocked, I live in a fucking trailer because I can’t afford rent in the city anymore and it’s cheap to live out this far, how am I not a loser?’ He quiets down when he starts yelling out all the reasons why he was worthless, his voice echoing over the lot, and he tries to shut the door when your hand shoots out and holds it open the second you see it move. ‘I just- I don’t understand why you keep talking to me after all that, why do you keep coming back? Why haven’t you left like everyone else? Why won’t you just- leave me alone…?’

You swallow and walk up the two-step stairs, Simon backing up until you let yourself in, the door shutting behind you and trapping your voices inside so they can’t carry anymore. ‘Because none of that defines you, it happened to you but that isn’t who you are,’ you tell him, and he’s hunched over now that he’s inside, the ceiling not high enough to accommodate him in his own home.

‘And who am I?’ he asked pathetically, but you don’t see him as pathetic, not even now as you see his home and how bare it is, the nicest thing he owns his computer over by the far window, the setup grand and expensive looking, and you fondly think to yourself that he probably built it all himself.

‘You’re smart, you’re so fucking smart, and you’re easy to talk to, and you’re a bit weird sometimes, and you word things kinda badly at the worst of times but you’re not a creep, and you’re passionate about what you want and it’s so unfair that no one’s given you a proper chance, or gotten to know the real you, not just what they’ve heard and assumed about you. You’re not a bad guy, you’re more than your black marks, you’re Simon.’

He blinks and a tear falls from his eye to the floor thanks to the angle his neck is forced to be, but he never sits even though it must be hurting him, and you wonder if maybe you’ve gotten through to him when he catches you completely off guard with what he says next: ‘Would you still think that if you knew the real me?’

‘What do you mean?’ You’ve known him for half a year now, there wasn’t any side of him you hadn’t seen yet, but apparently there was as another tear falls.

‘I killed someone, about five years ago now.’

You stagger back into the door, the wind knocked out of you at this revelation, and he shuts his eyes and looks away from your expression as one of pain takes over his own face. ‘What are you talking about?’ you ask quietly, your voice failing you the first time you try, and he flinches at your words like you’d just screamed them in his face.

‘Back when I was evicted I was looking for people to room with, just temporarily until I could get back on my feet, and this guy had answered my ad, invited me over to check out his place. I should’ve been more cautious but it was so cold I couldn’t wait, and when I got there he tried to mug me, take whatever I had left. I fought back in self-defense, but when I almost got away he started attacking me, wanted to keep me there until his actual roommate got home so he had help, and I-’ He sits down then, his hands shaking as he goes back to that time, and your back leaves the door as he looks up at you with such sadness that your chest feels hollow. ‘He tried to kill me, I was only trying to defend myself, I didn’t mean to hurt him so bad, I just wanted to find somewhere to stay, it was so cold outside…’

‘What happened after that?’ You think you might’ve just mouthed the words with how much your voice breaks, but he understands you anyways.

‘The roommate came home while I- while it was happening, called the cops, and when they saw me standing there covered in blood, holding the knife still, they instantly ruled it as a homicide and arrested me. I was able to plead not guilty but they took one look at my bad psych eval and thought I’d snapped, killed him outta malice or something, it was only by a miracle that the evidence was in my favour.’

‘And the roommate?’

‘They searched the place and found evidence of all the others before me that’d fallen for the con, he was charged and arrested and I made bail, but after that my mother never talked to me again, even though I was acquitted.’ It looks like a weight’s been lifted now that he’s said it, but he also looks so fucking tired, most of him taking up his small loveseat couch. You want to go to him but you can’t move, your body refusing to shift even an inch in case he didn’t want you to, and he looks you over before something in his eyes begs you please; you let out a small noise as you fall to the ground between his knees, your hand holding his just like you had when you’d wrapped him up.

‘Why are you still here? Why haven’t you thrown me out yet?’ he weakly asks you, and you can’t lie to him any longer as you hold his hand up to your cheek.

‘Don’t you know what you mean to me?’ you need to know, your voice so small that again you’re not even sure if any of it even comes out, and he lets out a breath that sounds so desperate and broken it makes you wonder just how long he’s been holding it: days, weeks, months, since the moment you met?

‘I didn’t want to hope- you… you’re my only friend, I didn’t want to ruin everything and lose you too,’ he whispers as he properly holds you, his palm so warm against your skin, and you lean into his touch as you let out the breath you were holding in return.

‘You almost broke my heart when you said you went back to LoveMatch, I wanted to tell you so badly,’ you’re finally able to confess, and when you do his other hand finds your arm, holds you with just enough pressure that you know he wants you there.

‘Why didn’t you?’

‘I didn’t want to ruin everything either.’

He leans forward until his forehead rests against yours, and when you open your eyes and look into his you can see everything you ever wanted again, all of it feeling so real and within reach as you brush his bangs aside, rest your hand on the back of his neck. His other hand comes up to cup your other cheek, and he’s shaking slightly like he’s afraid to touch you even though he already is because this time it’d be his decision to, his lips parting as he stares down at your own, and when he touches you you lean up and close the space between you.

He sighs against your mouth as you kiss him, it so full of relief and contentment and joy, and you wrap your arms around his neck again as you successfully sit in his lap this time. His lack of experience is apparent but you have no complaints as you deepen the kiss, needing more now that you could have it, and he lets you have everything you ever wanted as he leans back against the cushions until his head hits the metal wall behind him. He mutters an ow as he lets go of you to rub his head, and you laugh before catching his mouth again, which he eagerly allows you to do; he eats up all your attention, starving for it as he gets more into it, needing whatever you can give after so many rejections, and you’re happy to give it all back as you kiss his neck.

‘I was so proud of you when you told me you were trying for the loan, I really wanted to celebrate with you,’ you whisper into his skin, and you can feel him shiver as he lets out a soft moan and tilts his head to the side so you have easier access. ‘You’ve been trying so hard, please let me reward you, I want to be the first to…’

He moans your name as his hips start to move, try to find friction against you, and you shift until he does, his jaw going slack as he holds you by your thighs, perfects the angle even more.

‘When I saw you with her I wanted it to be me, I hated myself for wanting her to go, but she didn’t deserve you, I’ll never leave, and I want the next time we meet to be a real date, whether it’s at the Hotel or the park or my place or here, I want to be with you.’

He makes a noise of pure want, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to swallow back the sob that follows, he was always weak to your compliments but you need him to know how worth it he is to you, how much he deserves this after everything he’s been through.

‘You’re wonderful, I love spending time with you, you’re everything I want.’

A tear escapes between his tightly shut eyelids and you kiss it away before going to his jaw, pressing your lips along it before you find his mouth again.

‘I really like you, Simon, you mean so much to me, I’m so glad I got to meet you.’

He’s practically whimpering in your lap as he cries harder, his hips never stopping, he needs this so much but so do you, and you let him use you as the growing pressure wrenches a moan from your lips.

‘I love-’

You don’t get to finish as he comes apart underneath you, his body shuddering as he grips you tight and gasps out a series of choked out moans, your eyes fluttering shut as you feel it all travel from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes. You feel the heat between your thighs as he slowly catches his breath, his cheeks turning red under streams of tears in embarrassment for coming from just this much, but you just kiss the tip of his nose and rest your chest against his, let him feel how hard your heart was beating.

‘I love you,’ you whisper now that you can, and he looks at you like you’ve just given him the sun and the moon on a golden platter.

‘I’m so glad I texted you back then,’ he confesses against your cheek, his hands leaving your thighs to rest on your back, keeping you close, ‘I think I started to love you the moment you wanted to actually talk to me.’

‘Lucky for me your standards are so low,’ you joke, but it falls flat in the best of ways as he nuzzles into your neck.

‘It was all I needed, I just wanted someone to believe in me.’ He presses a single kiss to the space where your neck meets your shoulder, and your nails scrape lightly against his scalp as you let out a sigh at the feeling.

‘I told you, I’ll keep cheering you on until it works,’ you remind him, and he sits up straight so he can hold you even closer in his hug, your bodies fitting together perfectly as you hold him back and don’t let go.

The snow is falling lightly outside as you stretch in your chair, your back cracking as you raise your arms high above your head. You’re all done for the day, everything on your list checked off as you glance at the time and see that it’s almost 8PM, he’ll be there soon. You stand and bring the feeling back to your legs before grabbing the remote and turning on the TV, queuing up the next episode of the show you’re marathoning only one at a time each night. You let the recap and intro play and then press pause, it’s nearly time now, and you’re in the middle of grabbing the plates and utensils when you hear a knock at the door. You unlock it and open up to reveal Simon on the other side, all bound up in a large winter jacket, his scarf pulled up high enough to cover his nose and mouth from the cold.

‘You forget your key at work again?’ you tease as he walks in, trailing snow over to the mat where he can take his boots off.

‘Kinda hard to unlock the door with both hands full,’ he points out with a smirk as he then sets the food brought from said work on the table. ‘It’s busy tonight despite the snow, lots of people coming in to escape the chill, had to order these early to make sure they were done on time.’

‘You know I can always make something before you get back, you don’t have to keep bothering Elison over it,’ you remind him, but he won’t hear of it, he loves being able to bring you back something so you don’t have to stop working until you’re ready and you know it.

‘I convinced him to leave the Hotel to come work for me, might as well use him,’ is what he has to say to that, and you can’t argue with it as you both transfer your dinners onto the plates you set out. ‘Besides, it’s the only way I can get my favourites without having to drive across town, that’s a good enough reason to keep bothering him.’

You hum in agreement as you sit down together, the episode playing as soon as you’re settled, and when you’re done eating he curls up next to you, rests his head against your shoulder even though it hurts his neck. You take pity on him and adjust so he can lay more properly, his face still red from the winter chill, and you find yourself paying more attention to him until he feels your eyes on him.

‘You think we can do two episodes tonight before you go back? We’re so close to the season finale,’ you plead in that tone of voice that always gets him, and he looks like he really wants to say yes but he can’t, he doesn’t like leaving the place for so long as is even though his staff is more than capable of watching over things for an hour without him; outside of the weekend it’s the only time you can be together until he gets home at 2AM, when you’re already asleep most nights, and before he leaves again by 9AM, at least until the new year where he plans on hiring more staff if things keep getting better.

‘Not tonight, maybe tomorrow if it’ll calm down when the storm hits, I’ll call it early if it’s bad enough,’ he promises, and you smile and hold his hand as you rewind the episode back to before you stopped watching.

‘Should I be so jealous of a bar?’ you ask rhetorically, and he answers you yes before you playfully hit him and press play again. ‘Maybe I should start working for you part-time, I miss our Friday lunches, you’re too busy for me now.’

‘I’m never too busy for you,’ he reassures you so gently and genuinely before kissing you, the scene you just rewound to getting ignored again as you don’t let him go after just one. ‘I wouldn’t mind having you there, though, even if I think we might not get a lot done whenever you’re there.’

‘I’m just trying to make some C0NN3CT10N$,’ you say as slowly and as slyly as you can, drawing out the word as he just stares at you, ‘y’know like the bar’s na-’

He silences you with another kiss, this one a little more chaste as he laughs against your lips. ‘Yeah, yeah I know,’ he chuckles, and once again the episode is rewound so you can watch it, your arms around him for the rest of the hour he sets aside just for you each night, and in your head you make a mental note to thank your mother for recommending that son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker 10 months too late as he lovingly holds you right back.

[female-woman-wiffman-lass]

Though in think tank:

It's just the two of us (three actually, its a tricycle now)

harringroveson, metalsandwhich

just the two of them wanting the same guy and finding each other

while said guy is trying to be filling. they're having the feels and steve is horny. he's fine though. I'll decide if I can keep this going. they will fuck nasty. in like, the next parts.

Billy Hargrove and Eddie Munson are hooking up. They've got a good thing going on.

They're into each other, they have stuff in common, be it music, the fashion, their preferences. They're fast and quick. Furious and sharp, all teeth when they're together. Get a thrill and kind of comfort with how consistent and similar they could be. They bounce off and work each other to heights. It feels like it's only the two of them, like steel sharpening steel. In this small hick town.

Billy's always felt a lot, even more now he's stuck here. Always ran hot now he's stuck in a chilly, dreary town, used to feel like he could breathe slow and easy out there but not when he's stuck here. And with Eddie. Well, Eddie always wanted more, knows he's made for more. He's flagging half-heartedly in a small town, and now Billy has to tuck himself in. They both always feel bigger on the inside. No one is like them. Not in the way they know.

No one else feels jagged or rough. Neither Eddie nor Billy know anyone who can stop the itch, the aches in their jaw, the tightness.

Enter Steve Harrington. Just, not really.

Now, Steve seemed exactly nothing like either of them. Yes, he's masculine. A man. But he's not.. like them. Not dark or sharp, probably not what either of them would experience, probably doesn't feel like a whirlwind in his body, doesn't scratch. But it doesn't stop either of them from ogling. Shooting the shit with each other, letting out comments and thoughts on guys the've seen. And even if Harrington was open, or experimenting, or anything that would lead preppy jocks astray, he probably wouldn't be any good. Wouldn't be fun, no matter how pretty. No matter how soft.

Billy and Eddie's standards on the anyone in Hawkins, any man they might think of in the sense they'd think of each other. None for now, just them. Clocked each other so fast and collided with each other like a car crash. But both can agree, yeah. Steve's hot.

Billy's been knowing about it, having been hanging out with Steve. Knowing who he is, mostly on the court. Gets a kind of satisfaction being able to push this boy around.

And Eddie, who's there with his comments as they talk, will also have assumptions. He's known the guy longer. (If he ever really knew him. What more do you need when everyone else knows some.)

"Bill, he's just the usual, man." He takes a drag out of his cigarette, leaning on the side of his van. "Harrington. He's just a dude. I mean we're in Hawkins. Pretty boys like him got to be repressed. One way or another."

He scoffs, turning his head to him, eyebrows raised and hands waving vaguely in front of him, "have you seen him with Tommy? Before you came around those two were—" he puts up a tight fist and shakes it, like it would mean something. "Y'know? Tommy boy's been trailing after him since eighth grade."

Billy let's out a sharp laugh, stealing Eddie's cigarette, "calling me a homewrecker, Munson?"

"Is it homewrecking when you 'wreck' both parties? You ensnare Tommy away from the King and then you come round to have a chat with Harrington in the showers?" He let's Billy have the cigarette, crossing his arms as he leans in closer, "which, what was that about?"

(Eddie's been in this town, longer than the fresh meat Billy was supposed to be. Has seen the King parading around, stuck in his own little world. Head up in the clouds and not bothering to look down and check if his feet were even touching the ground. Til '83 that is.

It was weird. After Nancy Wheeler, sometime in November with all of them being gone for a while after two people go missing —one was Byers' little brother he remembers, he wasn't sure who the other one was, a girl?—only to come back with Wheeler on Jonathan Byers side of all places. Sweet and looking at each other like they've found someone who understands. Found someone who knows life outside. As if they knew there'd be more out there.

And Steve. Steve looked settled. Looked normal and still moving even when he looked at either of them, the couple. Like he knows he's small in this stupid town but doesn't feel tight in his own skin. That even though he hasn't found anyone like that, and even lost something he's still fine. That he's seen more and knows better even when he stood still. He's found out about the same things Byers and Wheeler had. Went through the motions. Was just waiting for a pin drop to be able to live. It fascinated, Eddie. He envied it. He scoffs in his mind, what would Steve Harrington know?

Will he ever get to know? The boy and the why?)

Billy rolls his eyes, taking one last drag from his cigarette before putting it out, dropping it on the concrete for hi to stomp, "fucking nothing, Edward."

Not nothing. He heard Eddie and his 'normal dude' rant. But he can't fool Billy. He knows the guy saw the same thing in Harrington he did. He was different and radiant in this stupid town while also fitting in perfectly. He was fucking lame and didn't know a single thing. But. He also knew some things. Makes it seem like the things he knows were life altering

Harrington was an enigma. A person with thoughts and feelings and in some kind of state. He was your average fucking prep. Image obsessed, vain, and so impossibly normal. And a flea who only knows the jar can't jump over the cap. But Steve. It's like he doesn't care. He doesn't know why he only knows this side of The King's rebrand. How he only knows one side to the story. How he knows Tommy and his weird obsession with Steve and how he left, and turned fucking bitch. Acted like he was now bottom of the barrel. But the King (although Billy has a feeling he isn't one anymore) is fine. Acted like dropping his nuclear friend group and demographic was nothing. Which in the grand scheme of things, maybe it wasn't. But it's supposed to be something, to boys like Steve Harrington. He doesn't know why he cares.

"Ouuh, fucking nothing, Edward, blah blah. Also, don't call me that." He huffs. "You're not the only one thirsting, William. Everyone wants, envies, covets at a piece of Steve Harrington. But again, he's just a dude. Hell, I had the hots for him too. Besides," he knocks shoulders with Hargrove, finger going up to flick at his piercing then to loop around a blonde curl.

"Ya got me right now."

Billy looks at him with considering gaze, before smirking. He straightens up off the van, "you wish, freak." He goes round to the back of the van, opening it up, before crawling in.

Eddie grins, scampering off after him. He pushes the both of them obssesed with Steve Harrington bit away from his mind. He's hanging with Billy.

Steve frowns a bit as he sees both men hop into the back of Munson's van. He was just passing by the parking lot. He sighs, scratching his head. He needs to go to another fucking bar. His nightmares are acting up again. Who knew the eerie light of the pool and his own house lights would make him twitch? What a life. He's okay though, pretty sure.

He smiles as he hops in the car. A night in Indy will fix him up. Surely. It always does. (And although Nancy –and Jonathan suprisingly– were worried, he assures them both as sweetly as he could that it was definitely not alcoholism. It's either more or less better than they expected. But he's glad his new friends slash two wheels he third wheels slash co-monster fighters were worried.)

As he drives off, he takes a glance at the rear view mirror, before shaking his head. Why would they hook up out in the open, in that back of the guy's van in a parking lot? Sure they could be hotboxing or some shit and smoking the weed in that dweeb Munson's lunchbox but Steve doubts that. With how hot the both of then are and how intensely they were looking at each other they were for sure fucking. He thought at least Hargrove would know better.

"Shame, shame," he shrugs, even though no one can see him, his expression set in 'it is what it is.' He wonders what he should wear and what he should order. He licks his lips and hums happily. He gets to feel alive for the weekend.

[star-quill]

obsessed w thinking about peter x reader where there’s a big age gap BYE

i hope u don't mind me sneaking this into another thought i had about peter

peter's a very active person. he tries to stay in shape as much as he can, whether that's going to the gym and lifting weights, or going for a morning run, or playing some sports at the local leisure club. he generally enjoys tennis the best, it lets him work on his arms a lot more.

he's usually there on the far court while there's lessons on for the kids in the first court. he normally doesn't have a partner to play against, so he mostly just practices his serves. then regrets that decision when he has to retrieve all the tennis balls he hit onto the other side of the court.

a few months later and he's back on the court, looking at all the kids waiting for the instructor to arrive. 15 minutes go by and he's still not there so he walks over and introduces himself.

"i'm not really an instructor but if you need adult supervision, i can watch you guys while you practice?" the kids just shrug their shoulders and start taking turns on the court while peter stands back and observes. he'll occasionally chip in with advice or feedback and by the end of the night, the kids are having fun at least.

then the kids get picked up, one by one from their parents and peter introduces himself to them, some he already knows from the neighbourhood and the parents are just thankful they had someone watching them.

then you came, you were somewhat younger than some of the other parents and peter looked at you while you stood next to the oldest kid in the group. you introduced yourself as the kid's older sister, and how you've just moved back from being away at college for the last 6 years.

he was hooked and he couldn't explain why. he wanted to see you again, and again, and again. he wanted to kiss you, hold you, make you feel so good.

then he bumped into you on his morning run and stopped to chat for a while. the chat turned flirty and he ended up asking you out on a date. he invited you over and he cooked for you, but he wasn't finished when you turned up. admittedly you were a bit early but both of you didn't mind. he just chatted to you while he finished cooking, and sometimes he had to encourage you to speak up. you were getting lost in a daydream, staring at his arms, his neck, the way his shirt clung to his chest, his curly hair falling over his forehead.

"you don't think this is.. weird do you?"

"w-what is?"

"y'know.. our ages.."

"oh.. no, i don't think so.. do you?"

"not if you don't.." he said it with a smile and you were done for. dinner went agonisingly slowly, but as soon as you were done, you dragged him to the couch, sitting on his lap as you kissed him. he pulled away for a second.

"someone's eager.."

"i need you.. please.."

he happily obliged, kissing you before moving to lay you down on the couch, kissing down your neck and pushing your shirt up to kiss down your stomach. he was experienced and you were more than thankful for it.

you spend more time with peter than you realise, him even giving you some lessons on the court. he's handsy and you just gently tell him off but he kisses your neck and you immediately shut up. he comes over to fix a shelf in your room and before you know it, he's rocking into you slowly while you lay on your bed, his hand over your mouth to keep you quiet. there's no way in hell that your parents would even think about letting you kiss someone like peter, let alone sleep with him or date him. but you wanted to be his, you wanted to be the only person he kissed, the only person he slept with and you wanted to be his girlfriend.

he treated you like you were a princess, making sure you knew he loved and adored you. he would call you at night just to talk to you and hear your voice, he would steal kisses at parties when nobody was looking before he dragged you away to fuck in the nearest bathroom. the only person who knew was your best friend.

"so like.. how old is he?"

"not that much older.. late thirties.."

"oh my god.. so what's he like?"

"he is so attentive, knows how to make me feel good.. also, like an extremely good kisser.."

you were sat in your garden with her, your parents gone out for the day. then a knock at your back gate made you jump before you saw peter standing behind it. you ushered him in and he took a seat next to you, his hand going round your shoulder and pulling you into his side. his arm draped over your chest and you took his hand in yours, fingers intertwined.

"so you're the infamous older man boyfriend she's been hiding?"

"yeah.. that would be me.." he spoke with a soft chuckle, kissing your forehead afterwards.

after a few hours, your friend left to go home and it was just you and peter alone.

"you reckon you can keep quiet if i fuck you out here?"

"peter!"

you didn't technically fuck him out there, you got on your knees and sucked him off instead. his hand fisted in your hair as you looked up at him, your eyes big and wide.

"fuck, keep lookin' at me like that and i won't last long, honey."

he always had a pet name for you, for every occasion. "baby" when you were slow dancing in his kitchen, "honey" when he invited you over and he heard you come in through the front door, "sweetheart" when he wanted something from you, "darlin'" when he greeted you at his front door. or "baby" when he was slowly filling you up with his dick, "honey" when you got on your knees for him, "sweetheart" when his head was between your legs and you were moaning so sweetly for him, "darlin'" when he had you against a wall, his teeth grazing your neck.

the dates, the sex, the kisses, they were all great but you couldn't help your fluttering heart whenever you brought up the age gap and he didn't even mind it. you would always have these fleeting moments of terror that one day he's gonna realise he doesn't want you because of it but then he kisses you so sweetly and makes you forget all about your worries. he was yours, he told you it everyday. and not just that—he wanted to be yours. the age gap long forgotten about and all you wanted to focus on was him.

[crash-bump-bring-the-whump]

Whumperless Whump Event - Day 5

It turns out that over a decade of horrific electrocution as punishment might make your heart a little bit funky!

TWs: mentions of torture, heart problems, descriptions of missed heartbeats

Wheezing / Light-headed / “I'll count, you just breathe.”

Dread flooded Laredo as a familiar ache ripped through his chest. "Hang on--sorry." He leaned back in his chair, the sounds of his teammates still coming in clearly through his headphones. The relaxed music drifted under it all, the pops of distant gunshots telling Laredo that the match was still going on.

Laredo took a slow, deep breath, one hand raising to his own throat. Every few beats, his heart would miss a contraction. His head started to spin, and he forced himself to close his eyes and relax. This was fine. This just happened sometimes.

It just wasn't ideal to happen during one of his livestreams.

R u ok?

What's happening?

Why does he look like that

When Laredo opened his eyes again, he saw his chat flooded with similar messages. He smiled, and watched himself on screen follow suit. He was too pale, and the smile was weak. "Hey--I'm okay, this just happens sometimes."

His character died, killed in one shot because he was just standing there out in the open.

The match was almost over anyway, it didn't matter. He felt his own unsteady pulse continue, another wave of deep fear rolling through him. It would pass.

Is this because of that torture shit?

What?

Bro wat

Laredo laughed. It sounded breathless. "Yeah, actually, it's...we're going to the lobby anyway. I can talk about it."

He reached for his water bottle and took a long drink, feeling the wave finally start to pass. He looked just a little less pale when he sat up straighter again. "So I really hate being electrocuted, y'know, like most people. But it was the thing that got under my skin the most, so whenever I'd fuck up, my boss would haul me into the torture room--I've told you guys about that, and zap me."

What

WHAT

Oh my god that wasn't a bit?????

Fr???????

He's fucking with us there's no way

No look it up he has like the whole court case linked in his bio

"Yeah, it was pretty fucked up. But it happened, and over the years my heart just started to get weird. Sometimes I get these spells where it gets off rhythm." Laredo shrugged and reached for his phone. "My doctor wants me to write down whenever it happens and how long it lasts, and stuff."

It didn't take long to add the newest situation to his document. "I'll let my medic boyfriend know too, one sec. He gets mad if I don't tell him when this happenes." He laughed, before taking another sip of water. "I'll just skip the caffeine for a few days."

O he's fr fr

I thought torture was illegal though

idk still looked sorta fake

guys just read the court case omg

hi youtube hi

"Here, let's give my heart a break. Who wants to see the landscaping ideas I've got for my Animal Island layout? Wild Bluu was at my port yesterday, and he had some sick statues that I was waiting on."

@whump-captain @whumpr @whumperofworlds @lektricwhump @cyberwhumper

@bxtterflystxtches @inscrutable-shadow @honeybees-125

[tobiasdrake]

Episode 34 - The Bonds of Fate! Tailmon / The Eighth Child Revealed

Previously on Digimon Adventure: If Vamdemon was even half as good at murdering children as he is at murdering childhoods, he would have won this thing by now.

Now we turn our attention back to the Yagami household.

After a long day of searching outward from Shibaura, Taichi returns home late. We begin the episode looking at the outside of his complex late at night, while we hear him enter the apartment.

Taichi: I'm back! Yuuko: Welcome home! You're late. (phone rings) Taichi: Ah! I'll get it!

Taichi goes straight for the phone and we come in on him, with Agumon standing there in plain sight.

Taichi: Hi, Yagami residence. Moshi moshi? ... Oh, Jou! Did you find the Eighth Child?

This feels like a fun time to talk about another cultural peculiarity of Japanese language. Moshi moshi is another one of those phrases that has a pretty fair translation but doesn't fully translate. It's typically translated as "Hello", which is a reasonable way to take it.

Moshi moshi is an informal phone greeting stemming from the verb mousu, which means to speak. Basically, it's common practice in Japan when chatting with friends over the phone to begin the conversation by going "Talk-talk!" A bit odd when you look at it too closely, but it's one of those fun linguistic things that every culture develops and then does without thinking about it, like putting the letters O and K together to signify that things are fine.

Try not to do it in a professional environment, however. It is informal speech.

Taichi, realizing how dumb his Partner is being right now, silently points at his bedroom. Agumon opens the door and goes inside without a word.

Jou: No, I had no luck at all. No one else besides us actually left Hikarigaoka! Taichi: That's impossible! There has to be one!

Right as Taichi says that, we cut to an overhead shot of the living room where we can see Hikari reading on the sofa. Y'know. A fun angle change. No particular reason for that; It's not related to anything he said just now.

Also, Meeko's there! She came home. What a good kitty.

Jou: I've called everybody in every phone book. The only phone book we haven't touched yet is yours, Taichi. Taichi: (deer in headlights) Oh, gotcha... I wonder where I put it.... Jou: It's the only lead we have left so make sure you find it! Taichi: Right, right, got it. (hangs up)

Taichi bolts into his room to redouble the search effort that got him buried in debris this morning.

In the original, the phone suddenly ringing provides Taichi with an opportunity to escape the conversation about his tardiness. In the dub, Yuuko is already letting it ring off the hook when Tai walks in the door.

(phone ringing) Tai: Hey, mom! I'm home! Yuuko: Tai, you're late! Tai: I'll get it!

Weird. Like, I know nobody answers their phones anymore but in the 90's sometimes people called you who actually had important things to say.

Tai: Hello. Kamiya Residence. Yeah, Joe! ... So did you find the Eighth DigiDestined kid yet? (Tai sends Agumon to his room) Joe: No, I didn't have any luck. There weren't any other students who moved from Highton View Terrace. Tai: But that can't be right! There must be someone else! Joe: Well, whoever it is, they weren't in my address book! Check your own book before you start yelling at me! Tai: (deer in headlights) Oh, that's right. What did I do with my book, anyway? Uh.... Joe: You still haven't found it!? Oh, great! It's only the future of the world depending on you! Tai: (annoyed) I'll find it! (hangs up)

Emphasis on "my" theirs; He actually does put a lot of emphasis on that word to set up his follow-up statement. But it's also the point of contention in this exchange.

Like. Very minor tonal thing, it's not a big deal in this exchange: As usual, Jou has more of a Senpai Voice and speaks to Taichi from a position of authority here while Joe flounders and whines. The purpose of this call is to berate Taichi for his failure to complete the assignment they were all given and emphasize the importance of doing it.

Y'know. Senpai work.

But the more glaring problem is the plot contradiction. It comes when he says, in very specific and emphasized terms, "my address book". Did the dub forget that he spent today calling everybody's address books?

That's kind of important. Because if he's only finished one book then he still has five other books he can go through before Tai's becomes the final hope we have. Tai himself said that Sora was in his class so their books are probably the same anyway. Go through Sora's book, Joe!

Taichi resumes searching his room by dumping his stuff out on the floor.

Agumon: What are you doing? Taichi: I can't find my student phone book.

Out in the living room, Hikari hears the commotion and seems entertained by it.

Hikari: (to Meeko) Onii-chan is always making a mess, huh? Meeko: (happy) Mroooowr....

Over in the dub:

Agumon: What are you doing? Tai: I'm trying to find my address book! (Out in the living room) Kari: Meeko, Tai's room is messier than your litter box. Meeko: (happy) Nyah?

I've mentioned before that Japanese is a very gender-neutral language. Something you need to understand about that is that a lot of the time when you see pronouns in a subtitle, they're made the hell up. Translators often have to make an educated guess about what pronoun to put here.

This can cause major problems with characters whose pronouns are meant to be a surprise reveal later down the line. It's easy to spend several episodes not committing to a he or a she or a they for a given character in Japanese, but harder to do that in English. In fact, often the giveaway isn't what words others use to describe them, but whether they make masculine or feminine word choices in their own language. Though even that's not guaranteed.

I've gone back and forth a lot about Digimon pronouns. Their genders are aesthetic and many don't even have that much. Official translations tend to abide by either a male default or it/its, neither of which has aged well.

The reason this is important is because the lack of a pronoun caused both the dub and sub to make an error here. Taichi is not making a mess in his room. Taichi and Hikari share a bedroom.

It's an easy to mistake to make, especially if you haven't seen the OVA. We've seen Hikari come and go from their room, particularly when she was sick back in Taichi's first return trip to Odaiba. But we haven't seen her use the bunk bed in the anime proper yet, so it's easy to overlook.

Taichi, it seems, sleeps on the bottom bunk while Hikari has the top bunk. This is a reversal of the OVA, where Taichi was up top and Hikari was on the bottom. I wonder why they switched? Maybe Hikari got older and wanted to have the big kid roost?

In any case, while Hikari's playing with Meeko, we pan over to Tailmon across the street. It seems she's acquired one of those mini telescopes that Taichi has.

Narrator: Tailmon was watching Taichi and his family from the top of the building across from them. Although she suspected that Hikari was the Eighth Child, Tailmon could not attack her.

Tailmon watches Hikari pick up and play with Meeko. The affection on display here sends her into a flashback of her aborted attempt to assassinate Hikari.

Tailmon: Why? Why couldn't I do it when I had the chance? (Tailmon looks again, seeing Meeko curled up in Hikari's lap) Tailmon: Hmph. A domestic cat? She has it so easy. She's given food and sleeps all day. Sometimes she has to give her owners some affection.

Over in the dub, Gatomon handles the narration herself.

Gatomon: If Kari really is the Eighth DigiDestined Child then I have to destroy her. But every time I see her, I get this strange sensation. I still don't understand why I wasn't able to attack her when I had the chance. (Flashback) Gatomon: What happened? I could have stopped the DigiDestined once and for all but something was pulling me away. (Gatomon looks again, seeing Meeko curled up in Kari's lap) Gatomon: Look at that little pet cat over there, she's got it so easy. She gets fed gourmet food out of the can and she gets to chase a sock all day! Talk about a purr-fect life.

Gatomon's sassy performance doesn't really suit these emotional moments but she goes hard when she gets to be snide and pissy towards Meeko.

At this point, Tailmon is so upset that she lowers the telescope and starts verbally shadowboxing the night air around her.

Tailmon: Yes, I'm being unreasonable! No one ever accepted me for who I was!

Tailmon launches into a flashback from Vamdemon's Castle.

Tailmon (V.O.): When I was in my Child form Plotmon, Vamdemon pushed me around every day. And if anything went wrong, he'd....

We see Vamdemon's Bloody Stream whipping Plotmon, torturing her. He hits her once on the top of her head, and then the second strike throws her down the stairs. When she gets back to her feet, looking up at him, he speaks.

Vamdemon: I'll make you suffer the same pain every time you look at me with those eyes. Understand?

He resumes lashing her with his Bloody Stream. Plotmon covers her face with her forelegs and closes her eyes, weathering the hits.

Tailmon (V.O.): Even when I got more skilled, he'd still beat me down every day. Just because he didn't like my eyes.

Back in the present, she pulls back one of her claw gloves to reveal a cross-shaped scar on the back of her paw.

Tailmon: Vamdemon gave me this scar. But these are just the eyes I was born with!

There is a lot going through Tailmon's mind right now. The love and affection that Hikari showers on Meeko has sent Tailmon spiraling down a trauma hole.

In the dub:

Gatomon: Nobody was nice to me like that when I was growing up. Nobody was nice, period! (flashback) Gatomon (V.O.): Back when I was Salamon, I was a slave to the evil Myotismon.

The dub cuts the footage of Vamdemon's Bloody Stream whips striking Plotmon, as well as her falling down the stairs. We go straight from Myotismon raising his arm to strike to a trembling Salamon trying to stand at the bottom of the stairs.

Myotismon: Every time you look at me with those eyes, I'll have to hurt you.

They cut shots out of the second round of torture too, but still leave enough in to maintain the impression. We see his Bloody Stream whips lashing through the air but we don't see them making contact. Then we go to a scowling, brutalized Salamon.

Gatomon (V.O.): I couldn't understand. I guess he just didn't like my eyes. (Back in the present, Gatomon pulls back her claw glove to reveal her scar) Gatomon: This is one of the scars that Myotismon gave me, just because I have these eyes. It's not my fault!

Obviously they weren't going to be able to show Dracula whipping a puppy in full graphic detail on Fox Kids. But honestly, this scene is a masterpiece of pragmatic adaptation. They preserve the tone and are able to still imply the brutal violence they had to cut out. We don't see the lashes make contact but we see the marks on Salamon's skin nonetheless.

They even keep the scar, and call it a scar. They hit every narrative and tonal beat they need to hit here. It manages to be perfect despite the extensive cuts.

A quick note on their names: Plotmon is named that because she's based on the plott hound, a breed of dog. Salamon has no meaning. Terry-Lei O'Malley, one of the people working on the dub team, named Salamon after her own pet cat before seeing the character design and finding out she's actually a dog in that form.

Tailmon continues to spiral.

Tailmon: Born... Where was I even born, anyway? What was I doing before I met Vamdemon? I can't remember. Wizarmon: Reminiscing, are we?

Wizarmon levitates down from the air, hovering over the rooftop.

Tailmon: I've told you to stop reading my mind without my permission! Wizarmon: (sincerely) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. Tailmon: Hurry up and go find the Eighth Child, Wizarmon! Wizarmon: Ah, of course....

Wizarmon humbly returns to the sky and resumes his search for the Eighth Child.

You can feel the panic in Tailmon's voice here. She has officially moved from "monitoring Hikari in case" to "actively withholding information". She practically shrieks at Wizarmon to go the fuck away because she doesn't want him reading something that might give Hikari away.

As soon as he's gone, she goes right back to her stalking ledge. The camera slowly zooms in on her wide eyes, and we hear Meeko meowing gently in the background.

In the dub:

Gatomon: I wish I could remember where I was born. I have no idea what I did before I met Myotismon. My past is a blur. Wizardmon: (descends) Thinking about the good ol' days? Gatomon: I'm not going to tell you again, Wizardmon; Don't read my thoughts without my permission! Wizardmon: (sincerely) I'm sorry, Gatomon. Please forgive me. Gatomon: And shouldn't you be out looking for the Eighth DigiDestined human!? Wizardmon: Yes, I'll get right no it! (flies away)

Pretty much the same. The only notable difference comes after the exchange, when Gatomon returns to the ledge. Instead of Meeko, we hear Gatomon cackling triumphantly. Odd choice.

Wizarmon goes down into Odaiba, testing kids with his Cosplay Crest but predictably getting nothing for it.

Honestly, I'm pretty sure he's not even trying. He shouldn't even be in Odaiba; We're supposed to be fanning out northwest from the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. Tailmon got relegated to this spot by PicoDevimon out of spite, and I think Wizarmon came here to support her.

Which is what makes it all the more surprising, flying over one of Odaiba's parks, when suddenly the fake Crest begins to react.

Wizarmon: It's glowing? Why here?

Wizarmon follows the fake Crest's shimmer to a crow's nest. Easily fending off the crow, he plunders its contents.

Wizarmon: A Digivice!?

He picks up the Digivice in his hand, but then hears a voice calling out to him from above and behind.

PicoDevimon: HEEEEY!!! WIZARMON!!! (Wizarmon tightly closes his fist around the Digivice.) PicoDevimon: (approaching) What are you doing over there? Wizarmon: (tucks the Digivice in his cloak) Uh, nothing. PicoDevimon: I don't think doing nothing would led you out here. You found something, didn't you? Wizarmon: You got me, I can't hide anything from you. PicoDevimon: What!? Wizarmon: This world is so much fun! (sheepish) I got a little drunk. HIC!

He pulls a bottle of booze from his cloak, revealing his alleged misbehavior to PicoDevimon. PicoDevimon is not impressed.

PicoDevimon: Not you too. Keep that up and you'll be end up like Pumpmon and Gotsumon. Wizarmon: Oh, please don't tell Vamdemon-sama about this. Okay?

He holds out the bottle to PicoDevimon, who grumpily takes it.

PicoDevimon: Yeah, yeah. Ugh, everyone Tailmon brought with her is useless!

PicoDevimon flies away, his suspicions pacified by Wizarmon's confession to a fake lesser offense. Once he's gone, Wizarmon turns back away from where he went and inspects the Digivice once more.

Wizarmon: I can't turn this Digivice over to Vamdemon. But if the Digivice is here, then where is the Eighth Child?

Here, we see the events of last episode put into play for the ongoing plot. Pumpmon and Gotsumon's fate is a shadow over Tailmon and Wizarmon's choices. We had a chance to see how Vamdemon reacts to treachery before moving into the part of the story where more important characters are behaving treacherously.

With villains, you always kinda know that if their minions turn on them, they won't handle it well. But there's a difference between that general vibe versus seeing, with our own eyes, that Vamdemon will ruthlessly execute them if he gets a whiff of betrayal.

By the way, Wizarmon doesn't get a rundown so we'll do it here. He's an Adult-stage Data-type Digimon from the Nightmare Soldiers lineup.

Alright, let's go see how the dub handles Wizarmon's booze.

Wizardmon: It's reacting! I wonder what's causing it? (Wizardmon follows the signal to the nest) Wizardmon: The Digivice! THUNDER BALL!!!

The attack he uses to scare off the crow, a glowing yellow orb of energy, has no name in the original. But the dub goes ahead and calls it an attack. That's fair, it's a magical projectile so it probably should be named.

(Wizardmon takes the Digivice) DemiDevimon: HEY, WIZARDMON!!! (Wizardmon tightly closes his fist around the Digivice.) DemiDevimon: (approaching) Whatcha doin' over there? Wizardmon: (tucks the Digivice in his cloak) Uh, nothing. DemiDevimon: It's hard to believe you came all the way out here to do nothing. Come on, tell me what you found! Wizardmon: Alright, but if I show you, you have to promise not to tell anyone! DemiDevimon: C'mon, show me! Wizardmon: Alright, it's a bottle of green chili sauce. It's great on tacos! (Wizardmon pulls the bottle out of his cloak) DemiDevimon: What are you doing eating on the job when there's work to be done!? You should be looking for the Eighth DigiDestined Child like the others! Wizardmon: Please don't tell Lord Myotismon! Why don't you get rid of this for me? (Wizardmon hands the bottle over to DemiDevimon) DemiDevimon: Alright. Boy, you know what I hope? I hope that the all-night drive-through is still open! Wizardmon: (turns back around and takes out the Digivice) There's no way I'm handing this over to DemiDevimon! He'll take all the credit for himself. But wait, if the Digivice is here, where is the Eighth Child hiding?

Wizardmon's out here in the woods chugging chili sauce straight from the bottle. That's a plausible explanation, to be sure.

Nah, he straight-up says that he's been putting it on food; It's just funnier to think of it that way. Though DemiDevimon apparently using drive-throughs to satisfy his own munchies raises so many hilarious logistical questions.

In the original, it's ambiguous whether he's surrendering the bottle to PicoDevimon as contraband or giving it to him as a bribe. Or both. The dub comes down on the side of bribe.

The big narrative record scratch is Wizardmon's last line. Wizarmon says he can't give the Digivice to Vamdemon, hinting at an ulterior motive lurking behind his presence among Tailmon's mercenaries. Concealing the Digivice is a purposeful, calculated betrayal.

Wizardmon doesn't want to give it to DemiDevimon because the little bugger will take all the credit, indicating that he fully intends to surrender Kari to Myotismon.

We cut back to the Yagami residence, where Taichi and Hikari eat watermelon while they watch the news.

Anchor: In conclusion, Tokyo has been flooded by eyewitness accounts of these large, strange creatures with the most recent occurrence happening in Shibuya. Further, many young women with acute anemia have been found collapsed in Shibuya's streets. Investigation is ongoing as to whether these events are related. And now weather! Taichi: (shuts off the TV) ...acute anemia?

Yeah, Taichi, that's where you have no blood. So they have to put you in the hospital and pump you full of blood.

Well, now we know why Vamdemon was in the neighborhood last episode. He went to Shibuya to check out one of the major epicenters for youth culture in Tokyo, like Pumpmon and Gotsumon. But for different reasons.

He was lurking around Shibuya getting his drink on when suddenly he caught wind of their commotion. Everything escalated from there.

In the dub:

Anchor: Both horses were reported to be in stable condition. Now back to our top story: Several more strange monsters have been sighted earlier today in and around the Tokyo area. In the same community, there have been more reports of young girls being struck down by what doctors are calling "sudden anemia". Investigators say these incidents may be related. Now on to the weather! Tai: (shuts off the TV) Sudden anemia!?

Good effort, mostly works. However, the reluctance to refer to Shibuya by name confuses matters a bit. Young girls being struck down "in the same community" could easily just mean the Tokyo area. You wouldn't know that he means Myotismon was attacking girls in Shibuya specifically from that remark.

Suddenly, the phone rings.

Taichi: I'll get it! (answers) Yamato: Taichi? Taichi: Oh, Yamato! Did you see the news? Yamato: I didn't have to; I was there in Shibuya! Taichi: Wait... That was you they were talking about!?

Taichi races into the kids' room and slams the door so he can speak openly.

Yamato: Vamdemon attacked us. He even killed his own followers. Taichi: WHY!?!? Yamato: Taichi, we can't predict what he's going to do next. We have to find the Eighth Child fast! Taichi: We have to find the Eighth Child before Vamdemon does!

Yamato barely even gives Taichi a glimpse of what he and Takeru lived through tonight and, instantly, Taichi's on the same page. What the fuck, what the fuck, we need to protect the Eighth Child.

In the dub:

Tai: I'll get it! (answers) Matt: Tai? Tai: Oh, hi, Matt! Did you just see the news? Matt: I didn't have to see it 'cause I was there! We just got back from the city. Tai: You did? So that report on television about the monsters was... (goes in the room) Matt: Right! It was Myotismon! And was he on a warpath. He even got rid of two of his flunkies! Agumon: HUH!?!? Tai: What!? Matt: Tai, we don't know how much time we've got left! I'm telling you, we've got to hurry up and find the Eighth Child! Tai: Myotismon will mangle him! I mean, if he finds him before we do!

The dialogue here is a sound adaptation. However, there are two notes that don't relate to the script.

First, Tai leaves his door wide open while he has this conversation. There's no animation for him closing his door; In the original, he runs into the room and then we cut to the interior and hear a door closing effect. Because there's no animation for it, the dub overlooks it completely. His parents are free to listen in on this.

Second, Agumon reacts to what Matt is saying on the phone to Tai. In the original, when Taichi screams "WHY!?!?" into the phone, it startles Agumon who wordlessly jumps back. In the dub, Agumon reacts before Tai does.

If you're wondering how they can time that to Taichi's lip flaps, the answer is that they don't. Agumon's "HUH!?" comes out of Tai's mouth, and then Tai's mouth is closed when he delivers his own "What!?" I think the audio recordings might have been inserted backwards by mistake.

Outside, Tailmon is still watching Hikari. Wizarmon returns to her stalking rooftop.

Tailmon: Wizarmon? What's wrong? Have you found the Eighth Child? Wizarmon: No, I haven't, but.... Tailmon: But what?

Wizarmon takes the Digivice from his cloak and shows it to Tailmon.

Tailmon: THE DIGIVICE!!! Why do you have that!? Wizarmon: I found it in a crow's nest in Ariake Forest.

Alright, Map Time. As usual, the black circle is Daiba Park, Vamdemon's ironic staging ground for infiltrating the rest of the city across the Rainbow Bridge. The blue circle is Odaiba Seaside Park, where Tailmon first met Hikari. The red circle is Ariake Tennis Park, a large forested park full of tennis courts. Hikari's Digivice was in one of those trees in the tennis park.

Tailmon: Then the Eighth Child must be near there! Wizarmon: No. The Eighth Child is.... Tailmon: The Eighth Child is...? Wizarmon: Well. Tailmon. Tailmon: What? Wizarmon: I think the Eighth Child could be deep inside your heart. Tailmon: In my heart?

This is a hard conversation for Wizarmon to have. How do you, as an outside individual, even begin to explain this?

In the dub:

Gatomon: Wizardmon, what is it now!? Go away before I use you as my scratching post! Wizardmon: Sorry to disturb you again, Gatomon, but-- Gatomon: But WHAT!??! (Wizardmon reveals the Digivice) Gatomon: The Digivice! Where'd you get it!? Wizardmon: I found it in a crow's nest in the Aracky Woods! Gatomon: Then the Eighth DigiDestined must be somewhere near there! Wizardmon: No, the Eighth Child is.... Gatomon: Tell me right now! Wizardmon: Well, you see, Gatomon.... Gatomon: What!? Wizardmon: I wonder if the location of the child isn't somewhere inside your own heart. Gatomon: (quietly) ...what are you saying?

Bless his heart, Wizardmon's actor tries to say Ariake but we all know they don't do second takes around here. The kids at home won't know it's wrong anyway.

Gatomon is more aggressive and confrontational here than Tailmon, but it works well for this interpretation of the character. I said before that her sassy performance works well when she's being wicked but less so when she's being vulnerable, and here it comes together.

The sudden fracture, the collapse of all of her smarm into the quiet, reserved last line hits like a bombshell. Great work there.

Tailmon has another flashback, farther than the last. This time to being a Baby-stage Nyaromon, alone at night somewhere in the Digimon World.

Wizarmon: Your heart is kept prisoner under tight locks. I think perhaps the key to finding the Eighth Child is hidden inside that closed-off heart of yours. Tailmon: ... Wizarmon: Are you afraid of recovering the memories of your youth? Why aren't you trying to remember? Take back the memories you've lost! Remember your past without fear! Tailmon: (snaps suddenly) YOU!!! Did Vamdemon send you here!? Wizarmon: I'm fighting on your side. Vamdemon has nothing to do with this.

Here, Wizarmon reveals his ulterior motives. As he implied earlier, he doesn't give a shit about the mission. He's trying to help Tailmon. That's the only reason he signed on. He's been a traitor since they day they came to Tokyo.

Incidentally, the place Nyaromon was stranded at is pretty clearly the vast desert from the Etemon arc.

In the dub:

Wizardmon: I believe that, long ago, you buried away an important part of yourself. And somewhere deep inside your heart lies the key to the identity of the Eighth DigiDestined Child. Try to remember. Gatomon: ... Wizardmon: What's holding you back? Could it be you're afraid of what you might find? You can get your lost memories back, Gatomon; You can remember your past without fear! End your long nightmare and try to remember! Gatomon: (snaps suddenly) Just leave me alone! Who sent you here!? Myotismon!? Wizardmon: Myotismon has nothing to do with this. I fight by your side, not his. I tell you these things now because you are my friend.

Again, this is all basically perfect. The wording is a little different but it's nearly 1:1 with the original script.

Which is, itself, a bit of a contradiction; He stated earlier that he wanted the accolades from finding Kari for Myotismon, but now he's back on-script.

Wizarmon goes into a flashback of his own, filling in the background on their relationship. We see him wandering aimlessly in Server's great desert, eventually collapsing in a city street.

Wizarmon (V.O.): Before I met you, I was always alone. I traveled by myself, unable to make friends. I was starving, tired, and lonely. When I finally collapsed, no one stopped to help me. I thought death would come too soon. But then you came.

In flashback, Tailmon gives Wizarmon a bowl of water to drink from, saving his life.

Tailmon: Hey! What's wrong? HEY!!! HANG IN THERE!!!

He passes out. But he wakes up at a small camp with Tailmon.

Tailmon: You're awake. Wizarmon: Were you the one who saved me? Tailmon: I didn't do anything so noble. I just couldn't leave you lying there. (Wizarmon uses his staff to push himself up to his feet.) Wizarmon: I'll leave now.... Tailmon: Your body won't be able to withstand it yet. Wizarmon: I appreciate your help but I have nothing to give you in return. Tailmon: I get that. You've lived alone for a long time. Wizarmon: What? Tailmon: When you live in solitude for too long, your heart turns cold. It happens to everyone; Even me.

Back in the present, Tailmon's a little confused by this anecdote.

Tailmon: I don't remember that. Wizarmon: I was about to die with a heart of stone because of my loneliness. The person who freed me from that loneliness, Tailmon, was you.

Wizarmon owes Tailmon a debt that he is here, now, actively trying to repay. A debt of friendship, of empathy, and of kindness in dire times.

In the dub:

Wizardmon (V.O.): Before I met you, I was always alone. I was constantly traveling, never stopping to make any friends. Then, one day, I fell from the sky and crashed but no one stopped to help me. I thought I was a goner until you came. Gatomon: Here. Drink this. (Gatomon gives Wizardmon a bowl of water to drink from) Wizardmon: (cough) Gatomon: Looks like he passed out. (Cut to Wizardmon waking up in Gatomon's camp) Gatomon: Ahh, you're awake. Wizardmon: Huh? Did you save me? Gatomon: I didn't do that much. I just couldn't leave you lying there. Wizardmon: Well, thanks. I guess I'll be going now. Gatomon: Don't be silly. You're not strong enough to go. Wizardmon: I know you helped me but I don't have anything for you. Gatomon: I don't want anything. You must be very lonely to say that. Wizardmon: What do you mean? Gatomon: When you've been alone for a long time, your heart becomes very hard. It happens to everyone, you know. Even me. (Back to the present.) Gatomon: I don't remember any of that. Wizardmon: Well, that's how it happened. I thought you saved me because you wanted something in return; I couldn't understand the concept of compassion because loneliness had hardened my heart. But you taught me that all creatures have good inside of them.

So, a couple things here. First, Wizardmon was in dire straits because he lost control while flying along one day and crashed. Weird change to make. Were they trying to dial back the peril? An accidental injury is a lot less severe than dying of exhaustion.

Second, tonal shift at the end there. Wizarmon's anecdote is about the bond of friendship and gratitude that Tailmon cultivated in Wizarmon's heart. It's his reason for acting now. Wizardmon's anecdote is a lesson in moral virtue; Gatomon's kind gesture restored his faith that people, as a whole, have intrinsic goodness.

Wizarmon continues.

Wizarmon: This is what I remember you telling me back then. (Back into the flashback) Tailmon: Week after week, waiting and waiting, searching and searching, but I never find her! Wizarmon: Waiting? Searching? For who? Tailmon: I don't know! I can't remember anymore! But I was waiting for someone.... (Return to present) Tailmon: Waiting? Me? Wizarmon: Yes. That is what you said. Tailmon: Who was I waiting for? Who was I searching for?

Suddenly, her train of thought is broken by a distant meowing.

Meeko: Meow.... Hikari: Meeko! Where are you trying to go?

Hikari follows Meeko out onto the Yagami balcony, picking her up.

Hikari: You can't come out this late. Stay inside.

She puts Meeko back inside and closes the door. Suddenly, the sound of an ambulance streaking past grabs her attention, and she races over to the balcony to look.

In the dub:

Wizardmon: That's when you told me your secret. (flashback) Gatomon: My whole life, I just keep waiting and searching but... I never find her. Wizardmon: Find who? Who are you waiting and searching for? Gatomon: I can't remember; It was too long ago. All I know is, I'm waiting for someone. (Return to present) Gatomon: Waiting? Me? Wizardmon: That's what you told me. Gatomon: Why can't I remember who I was waiting for? Who could it possibly be? Meeko: Nyow! Gatomon: Huh!? Kari: Meeko! (Kari picks up Meeko) Kari: Where do you think you're going? You can't come out here at this hour. Go back inside. Good kitty.

As before, the sound effects don't come through. There's no ambulance in this version, so Kari suddenly sprints over to the balcony to peek over it for no particular reason. This still works, though; She's a kid; She has energy.

When Tailmon rushes to the balcony to check on Hikari, Wizarmon follows her reaction to its natural conclusion.

Wizarmon: Let's go find out. Tailmon: WAIT!!!

Pouncing on this opportunity, Wizarmon flies straight across to the Yagami apartment.

Hikari: You're.... Wizarmon: I am Wizarmon. Hikari: (scared) You're flying!

Tailmon makes the jump, bounding over onto the Yagami balcony's railing and flipping down onto the balcony itself.

Hikari: Ah! You're the one I met this afternoon. You came back! You really are one of Koromon's friends, aren't you?

The two Digimon waste no time with idle chatter. Wizarmon hands the Eighth Digivice to Tailmon, who holds it out for Hikari.

Hikari: What is that? (reaches out) What...?

When Hikari reaches for it, the holy energy inside of it begins to shine.

Tailmon: Is this girl the Eighth Child? Wizarmon: (takes back the Digivice) Yes, she is. Tailmon: Then who is her Digimon!? Wizarmon: Think back. Who were you waiting for? Tailmon: You're right. I do remember waiting for someone....

Wizarmon, why did you take the Digivice back? That belongs to Hikari.

Whatever the case, shocking truths about Tailmon about to be dropped in 5... 4... 3....

In the dub:

Wizardmon: I think perhaps your search is finally over! Gatomon: Huh!? (Wizardmon flies over to the Kamiya balcony) Kari: (gasp) Who are you!? Wizardmon: Wizardmon. Kari: How are you able to fly like that? Wizardmon: Oh! Uh... Well, I-- (Gatomon bounds over) Kari: Oh, it's you. Hello again. You're Agumon's friend, aren't you? How come you ran away last time I saw you? (Wizardmon gives Gatomon the Digivice and they perform the test) Kari: What's that thing? (reaches out) Can I see it? (The light inside the Digivice shines) Gatomon: (gasp) Wizardmon, tell me: Is this girl the Eighth DigiDestined? Wizardmon: (takes the Digivice back) Yes! Gatomon: Well, then who is her Digimon...? Wizardmon: I think you know. You were waiting for someone. Try to remember. Gatomon: Hold on, my memory is starting to come back!

Kari gives zero fucks about anything. She is the picture of "Sure, I guess this is happening right now" throughout this entire scene.

Backstory Unlocked. Tailmon remembers the full truth of where she came from.

We find Nyaromon alone in that plateau forest on File Island.

Tailmon (V.O.): Ever since I was in my Baby form, Nyaromon, I was waiting for someone. Day after day. I waited and waited but no one ever came.

Nyaromon waits through the changing of the seasons.

Tailmon (V.O.) When I became Plotmon, I went on a journey to find her instead of passively waiting.

There's an implication here that Nyaromon was in that forest back in Episode 1 with the rest of them. Waiting for a Chosen Child who missed the boat. Eventually, she evolved and somehow made the trip to Server on the other side of the ocean. We see Plotmon in the great desert, followed by the lake where we had to get the band back together, and then finally the gnarled woods around Vamdemon's castle.

Vamdemon emerges form the woods, descending ominously towards Plotmon.

Tailmon (V.O.): But the person who found me was not who I was waiting for. It was Vamdemon. (Back to the present) Tailmon: Then the days of despair began. Before I knew it, I'd forgotten. I forgot I was waiting for someone. Searching for someone. Hikari: What are you talking about? This Eighth Chosen Child you're talking about, do you mean me?

And there we have it. The true origin of Tailmon, the Partner Digimon to Chosen Child Yagami Hikari.

The dub explains it thusly:

Gatomon (V.O.): Hold on, my memory is starting to come back. Yes, I was definitely waiting for someone. Ever since I was Nyaromon, I was so lonely. Every day, I just kept waiting and waiting. The seasons changed and the years rolled by and still I kept waiting, but no one ever came. (Salamon goes to Server Continent) Gatomon (V.O.): Then, when I became Salamon, I started searching. I went on a journey, but what I finally found was not the someone I had been waiting for! (Myotismon appears in front of Salamon) Gatomon (V.O.): Instead I found evil and darkness. Myotismon. (Back in the present) Gatomon: Then those days of torture and despair began, and I started to forget. Forget that I was waiting for someone. Searching for someone. Kari: W-What are you guys talking about? What does any of this have to do with me?

Almost did a spit take when the censors let Gatomon describe Myotismon's treatment as "torture and despair". We really are pushing the needle as far as we can get away with on this particular plot point, and I appreciate that.

Unfortunately, the balcony outside Taichi and Hikari's room is not a safe place to be holding this conversation.

While Taichi's inside going through his desk, Agumon suddenly notices something.

Agumon: Someone's outside talking to Hikari! Taichi: Huh!? What!?

In full Stranger Danger alarm, Taichi throws open the glass door and sprints out onto the balcony.

Taichi: Who's there!? (Taichi sees them) Taichi: Digimon! Hikari: Onii-chan! Taichi: What do you want with Hikari!? Wizarmon: Wait! Hear us out first! Taichi: Hikari, get away from them! They're the enemy! Hikari: You're wrong, Onii-chan! Tailmon is looking for the Eighth Child and--

"They're not the enemy; They just want to find the Eighth Child!" In a fit of dramatic irony, Hikari has no idea how little that explanation will do to de-escalate this situation. Not helping is that Yamato's call earlier has Taichi and Agumon's hackles up. Further not helping is that Taichi and Agumon aren't exactly among the kids who will think first and act later.

Everything happens in an instant. Agumon fires the shot that ends the standoff, spitting out a Baby Flame while Hikari is still in the crossfire. What the actual fuck, Agumon.

Hikari instinctively raises her arms to take the hit herself, but Tailmon acts quickly and shoves Hikari out of the way - costing her the time she needs to evade it herself.

Agumon's Baby Flame slams into Tailmon, throwing her back against the balcony wall.

Hikari: TAILMOOOOOOON!!!

In the dub:

Agumon: Someone's out there talking to Kari! Tai: Huh!? (goes outside) KARI, GET AWAY!!! Kari: What's the matter, Tai? Tai: What do you Digimon want!? Wizardmon: Wait! Listen to what I have to say. Tai: Kari! You get over here! Those two are evil Digimon! Kari: No, they're not evil. Gatomon has been searching for me! For me and the Eighth DigiDestined Child!

Kari gets further in trying to explain this than Hikari does. However, she trips over her words when she tries to convey the key issue. She is also, like Hikari, suffering from dramatic irony preventing her from realizing that her words will only make this situation worse even if she does get the idea across.

The last thing Tai/chi wants to hear right now is, "The minions of Vamdemon/Myotismon are looking for the Eighth Child and they found me!"

The dub keeps the shot of Pepper Breath connecting with Gatomon's face but cuts the shot of her slamming into the balcony wall. To replace it, they splice in a copy/paste of Tai's "Those two are evil Digimon!" outburst.

Tai: Kari, are you okay!? Kari: OH NO, GATOMON!!!

ANYWAYS LET'S GO TO COMMERCIAL

HEY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO EAT AT MCDONALDS!?!?

That's not a dub thing. They both do it. Agumon blasts Tailmon against the wall, Hikari screams at the top of her lungs, and now it's time to sell you some toys. Assholes. XD

Upon our return from commercial, Hikari runs to Tailmon.

Hikari: Tailmon! Tailmon: Hikari... I'm okay. That was nothing.

That's the resolution to the suspenseful commercial cliffhanger. XD Tailmon gets up like, "Yeah, I'm Adult-stage; kiddy pool attacks like that don't mean shit to me." Checks out.

Taichi: (stunned) Tailmon... protected Hikari.... Wizarmon: Now have you recovered all of your repressed memories? Tailmon: Yes. I was waiting for the Eighth Chosen Child. Hikari, I was waiting for you! Hikari: Waiting... for me? Tailmon: Forever and ever, I searched for you!

Tailmon gives Hikari a hug.

Tailmon: Hikari.... Hikari: Tailmon.... (Hikari looks at Taichi) Onii-chan, Tailmon is my Digimon!

At long last, Hikari and Tailmon are united.

While Tailmon shrugs the attack off because it's a baby-ass flame, Gatomon wields her pathos like a shield against it.

Kari: You alright? Gatomon: I'm fine. This is nothing compared to what I've been through.

I mean. Obviously the censors disagree. They cut both.

Tai: Did you see that!? Gatomon saved Kari! Wizardmon: Now that you remember, do you understand? Gatomon: Yes. I was waiting for the DigiDestined human I belonged with. That's you, Kari. You're the Eighth DigiDestined. Kari: You were waiting just for me? Gatomon: I've been searching forever and ever for you! (Gatomon hugs Kari) Kari: You could have just called. (Kari looks at Tai) Guess what, Tai! Gatomon's my Digimon; Now I've got one too!

Who is Tai talking to in that first line? The only person he could be addressing is Agumon. Who. Like. Gatomon saved Kari from.

There's something almost comically passive-aggressive in that. "Did you see that, Agumon? Did you see how Gatomon saved Kari from your shot? You know, when you almost shot my sister? Did you see Gatomon save her from it?"

All of this is nice but Taichi still has concerns.

Taichi: Tailmon is Hikari's Digimon!? Wizarmon: That's right. Hikari is the Eighth Chosen Child. Tailmon: And I am her Digimon. I swear to protect her. Taichi: Tailmon, even if all of this is true, who is this guy? Tailmon: Wizarmon. He's my friend. He's also the one who found the Digivice. Taichi: And I'm just supposed to believe that!? Wizarmon: I don't care if you believe it or not. I'm only here with Tailmon.

Wizarmon offers Hikari's Digivice to Taichi.

Wizarmon: Here. You should hold onto the Digivice. Agumon: Why are you giving the Digivice to Taichi? Wizarmon: If Vamdemon finds out that Hikari is the Eighth Chosen Child and Tailmon is her Digimon, both of them will be in danger. As long as it's with you, the both of them should be safe. Taichi: Okay, I'll hang onto this.

Taichi has trouble understanding this, partly due to his reluctance to let it be true that came up when he first explored this possibility. Tai goes as far as to condescend to Kari about it.

Tai: Don't be silly, Kari. That doesn't make sense! Wizardmon: It makes perfect sense, considering she's the Eighth DigiDestined. Gatomon: That's right. And I'm her Digimon. No matter what happens, I'll always protect her. Tai: Well then, why are you a part of Myotismon's army!? And just who is this guy!? Gatomon: He's called Wizardmon. He put himself in great danger to bring you this Digivice. He's my friend. Tai: But how do I know if I can trust him or not!? Wizardmon: Frankly, I don't care if you trust me or not. But I'm going to follow Gatomon as long as she needs me. Here, you take the device. (Wizardmon gives the Digivice to Tai) Agumon: Why give it to Tai? It belongs to Kari. Wizardmon: She can't be seen with it. If Myotismon finds out she's the Eighth Child and Gatomon is her Digimon, then he'll destroy Gatomon and he won't rest until he finds Kari. If you have the Digivice, then their secret will be safe. Tai: Okay, I'll take it! But you better not be double-crossing us.

Wizardmon does a pretty good job of explaining why he's giving the Digivice to Tai. I appreciate that the dub points out that it's Kari's Digivice and comes at Wizardmon's explanation from the angle of why Kari shouldn't have it, rather than why Tai should.

That was the implicit topic of discussion in the original, but here it's explicit, which I think is to the scene's benefit.

Taichi: What are you going to do? Wizarmon: Hikari needs her Crest. The real one. Taichi: Real one?

Tailmon takes off her false Crest, holding it out for Taichi to see.

Tailmon: This is a copy we used to track Hikari's Digivice. Vamdemon has Hikari's real Crest. We have to get it back. Wizarmon: The rest of you can stay here. Taichi: WAIT!!! Where is Vamdemon's base? I'll go with you! Wizarmon: No. It's too dangerous.

Honestly, I'd probably refuse his help too. This calls for subterfuge and Taichi has a poor track record with stealth missions. Bit of a Leroy Jenkins, that boy.

Then again, Tailmon and Wizarmon don't know this but Vamdemon was, like an hour ago, beaten so badly in a fight with WereGarurumon and Angemon that he was forced to flee Shibuya. Now would be a great time to posse up and go jump him in his coffin while he's trying to recuperate. Call around and get the whole team in on this.

But their decision is made. Wizarmon picks up Tailmon and the two fly into the sky, the one direction that Taichi can't follow.

Hikari: TAILMON!!! Agumon: They left. Taichi: (concerned) Will they be okay on their own?

Probably not. Injured or not, Vamdemon's still a Perfect who's been gorging on blood to enhance his power. If this goes south....

In the dub:

Tai: What's next? Wizardmon: Your sister needs her Crest. The real one. Tai: The real one? Gatomon: (showing Crest) This Crest is just a copy that was created to find the Digivice. Myotismon is the only one with access to the real Crest. We've got to get it back. Wizardmon: Leave everything to us. Tai: Wait! Where's Myotismon's hideout? We'll come with you! And we can help you! Wizardmon: No! It's too dangerous! (flies away with Gatomon) Kari: Be careful, Gatomon! Agumon: Can we trust them? Tai: We have to. We have no choice.

Well, shit. They've gone where we can't follow. If only we knew someone with a radar that can detect Digimon in Japan!

Wizarmon takes Tailmon and flies back to Daiba Park, coming in from the east.

Wizarmon: Hikari's real Crest is inside Vamdemon's secret base. He should be hiding it in his room.

I don't know why Wizarmon would draw that conclusion. My assumption would be that Vamdemon keeps the Crest on his person. That's where I'd keep it if I were him.

They descend into the park, where a lone Bakemon is standing guard.

Bakemon: Wait! Vamdemon-sama is out for dinner. No one is allowed to enter until he comes back at dawn. Wizarmon: We're here to switch shifts.

Wizarmon hurls a ball of magical light at Bakemon. It doesn't hurt Bakemon physically, but instead leaves them disoriented.

Bakemon: What... What was I doing...? Wizarmon: You were going to switch with us and go home to sleep, remember? Bakemon: Oh, right. See y-- Wizarmon: Wait! Don't forget to give us the key. Bakemon: Oh. Right. The key. (tosses them a large key) Here. Wizarmon: Thank you! Bakemon: You take care of the rest! (flies away) Wizarmon & Tailmon: Good night!

This is going well. I have a good feeling about this mission. ^_^

In the dub:

Wizardmon: Myotismon has to be keeping Kari's Crest somewhere in the hideout. I think we have to search his room. (Wizardmon and Gatomon descend into Daiba Park) Bakemon: Stop! Myotismon is feeding upon the night. He said no one may enter until he returns at dawn. Wizardmon: Aw, forget about it. As a matter of fact, Thunder Ball. (Wizardmon zaps Bakemon) Bakemon: I can't remember a thing. What were we talking about? Wizardmon: We're relieving you of guard duty. Go home and get some sleep. Bakemon: Oh, yeah. That's right. See ya-- Wizardmon: Hold it! Don't forget to leave us the key. Bakemon: Huh? Oh, the key. Here. (tosses them a large key) Wizardmon: Thank you! Bakemon: What a nice guy. (flies away) Wizardmon: Let's go!

In addition to Thunder Ball still being a named attack in the dub, the main difference here is that Wizardmon doesn't start bullshitting until after he casts his MiB Neuralyzer spell. Which makes sense. No point in bullshitting before erasing the guy's memory.

Also, both sets of Bakemon's deliveries are perfect. The performances are very different. Original Bakemon is playing him for silly wooo~ spooky ghooost while the dub is more of a Jacob Marley type raspy undead specter. But both are delivering these casual-ass workplace colleague lines in their chosen undead voice, and the juxtaposition is hilarious in both cases.

Wizarmon and Tailmon descend into Vamdemon's base. Using the key, they open the door to his room. A giant empty room with only Vamdemon's coffin inside.

Tailmon: Where's the Crest! Wizarmon, we have to hurry! Wizarmon: No need to rush. There's still some time before dawn.

Shot in the dark, maybe try the coffin. The only object in the entire room.

Tailmon and Wizarmon do precisely that, popping open Vamdemon's coffin.

Wizarmon: Could it be... in here?

Reaching under Vamdemon's pillow, Wizarmon pulls out the true Crest.

Wizarmon: Got it! Tailmon: it's the real Crest!

Mission complete! Wow, that was super easy.

In the dub:

Gatomon: Hurry up, Wizardmon. Let's find the Crest and cruise on out of here. This place gives me the creeps. Wizardmon: Relax. We've got plenty of time before the sun comes up. Myotismon won't be back for hours. (They go to the coffin) Wizardmon: Maybe he keeps it in the coffin. (They open the coffin and Wizardmon grabs the Crest) Wizardmon: Got it! Gatomon: Great! Now let's just get out of here.

In a bizarre audio choice, the dub team plays a wood smashing sound effect over Wizardmon sliding the lid off. As if they were breaking open the coffin with axes.

Suddenly, the rustling of bats can be heard entering the lair. There. Uh. There was a need to rush. That's on you, Wizarmon.

Vamdemon: What are you doing in here? (Wizarmon and Tailmon close the coffin quickly, but they're already caught) Wizarmon: Nothing! Vamdemon: Can I help you find something?

Vamdemon holds out his own Crest. Wizarmon looks down at the one he pilfered from Vamdemon's coffin, then tucks it away in his cloak.

Vamdemon: What are you planning to do after stealing the real Crest? Betrayal, is it!?

Vamdemon crushes his own false Crest to punctuate his question.

This is a confusing scene because Vamdemon says, "Can I help you find something?" and shows his Crest, but then a few seconds later he breaks the Crest he's holding. So the one he's showing is a fake, and the one Wizarmon keeps is the real one.

I guess he was showing it to indicate that he knows what they took? But the natural assumption when he delivers that line is that Wizarmon snagged another fake, and it's Vamdemon's Crest that's the real one. So this scene comes off a little janky.

That jankiness carries into the dub, which falls straight into that misunderstanding.

Wizardmon: Uh-oh. Myotismon: What are you doing in here!? Wizardmon: Nothing! Myotismon: If you're looking for something, maybe I can assist you. (holds up Crest) Wizardmon: (looks down at the Crest in his hand) Another copy.... (tucks it away) Myotismon: Do you think I'd just leave the original lying around for thieves like you!?

The jankiness in this scene snowballs into the dub, where Wizardmon and Myotismon say in no uncertain terms that the one Wizardmon snagged is fake. And then Myotismon breaks what I guess is now the real Crest? That's probably bad for us. Didn't think they were so fragile.

Quiet burglary failed so now we move to violent robbery. Wizarmon lunges at Vamdemon. Vamdemon casually sidesteps the lunge, causing Wizarmon to lay himself out on the floor. Uh. Great job, buddy. Good hustle.

Tailmon hurries to Wizarmon's side.

Tailmon: Wizarmon! Wizardmon: I'm okay...

I should hope so! He hasn't even hit you yet! Tailmon turns on Vamdemon with a defiant scowl.

Vamdemon: Those eyes. It's those eyes again. They're like a sword turned in my direction. But did you really think a small thing like you can do anything to me? Did you think I would forgive betrayal!? Wizarmon: I haven't betrayed you. I was only ever on Tailmon's side from the start! Vamdemon: So stupid.... NIGHT RAID!!!

Fun fact: While the common term for "idiot" is baka, Vamdemon is too posh for that. He favors orokamono, a more formal and professional way to call someone a dumbfuck.

The dub plays a goofy-ass cartoon whiffing sound when Wizardmon makes his lunge.

Gatomon: Wizardmon! Wizardmon: I'm alright. (Gatomon glares at Myotismon) Myotismon: Those eyes! From the first time you looked at me with those eyes, I knew you'd turn against me. And that's why I had to teach you by punishing you. I would have hurt you even more but you became a good servant, but I promise you I will not be so easy on you this time! And do you think your betrayal will go unpunished, Wizardmon? Wizardmon: How could I betray you when I was never on your side to begin with!? Myotismon: YOU LITTLE FOOL!!! (long, awkward pause) Myotismon: GRISLY WING!!!

The fact that Wizarmon doesn't have lip flaps is both a blessing and a curse. Like Tentomon, they can give him lines when he's not supposed to have them, but it also makes timing his dialogue tricky.

The scene cuts from Wizarmon delivering his defiant line to Vamdemon with his cloak closed around himself, preparing to fire his Night Raid. Wizarmon's line continues into Vamdemon's shot. Then Vamdemon slowly and quietly delivers his own line before immediately launching Night Raid.

However, not only does Wizarmon not have lip flaps but Vamdemon's covering his own lip flaps here. The dub team couldn't see who's supposed to be talking and when, so the timing gets all screwed up.

Wizardmon finishes his line before the cut, then Myotismon delivers his line as soon as we change shots. Not only that, but Myotismon is louder and faster on his delivery. However, there's still more time reserved for dialogue here. Consequently, there's three straight seconds of weird silence before Myotismon gets to his Grisly Wing.

Vamdemon's Night Raid bats seize Tailmon and Wizarmon, carrying them upwards and smashing through the soil of Daiba Park into the night beyond. They raise the two high into the air, then drop them.

Despite the fact that Wizarmon can fly, Tailmon drops deftly onto her feet from like a hundred feet up while Wizarmon crashes helplessly onto his face. I mean. He couldn't even stick the landing when it was his own jump, so I don't know what I expected.

Come on, man. You were so smooth until the fighting started, but now you're embarrassing me in front of the Dracula.

Tailmon: Hang in there, Wizarmon! Wizarmon: U-Ugh.... Vamdemon: (chuckle) What a beautiful display of friendship. Tailmon: What did you say!? Vamdemon: Since you care so much for each other, I'll let you die together.

Here we go. Tailmon and Wizarmon are about to receive the Pumpmon and Gotsumon treatment.

The dub plays a funny BONK sound effect when Wizardmon lands on his helpless face. They're trying so hard to keep things lighthearted but this arc is so fucking dire.

Gatomon: We really have to stay together! Wizardmon: Ugh.... Myotismon: Uhuhuhahaha! Those who play together, lose together! Gatomon: I'm not afraid! Myotismon: You soon will be, you pathetic little traitor!

"We have to stay together" is a mistranslation of shikkari shiro. Shikkari is an adjective which means tightly, firmly, surely, etc. The addition of shiro at the end turns it into a verb. We have to do tightness, we must do firmness.

In this context, Tailmon says shikkari shiro to Wizarmon to encourage him to shape up, to keep it together, to not fall apart under Vamdemon's assault.

The dub translates it as "We must stay together", which... doesn't really fit the context of the scene. We're under no threat of splitting up. We have not divided up to this point. I don't know why Gatomon thinks this is an important point to make.

Vamdemon's bats swoop back around for another go. Then, suddenly, Wizarmon attacks again.

Firing off his Thunder Cloud, Wizarmon blasts the bats, sending them scattering. He also cracks off a shot at a startled Vamdemon, who blocks it with his cape.

Vamdemon: What!?

It does little damage to Vamdemon and seems only to buy time. However, if you'll notice, the attack is not called Lightning Blast. It's not called Super Shocker. It's called Thunder Cloud.

Vamdemon easily fends off the bolt. But the sky above Daiba Park lights up with booming, thundering clouds, illuminated by recurring flashes of spider lightning. Clouds visible from the Yagami balcony.

Taichi: What is that!? Agumon: Tailmon and Wizarmon are fighting! Hikari: Will they be okay? (huge crackle of spider lightning) Taichi: Agumon, we're joining in. Agumon: Right! (Taichi and Agumon run for the door) Hikari: WAIT!!! I'LL COME TOO!!! Taichi: It's dangerous! You have to stay here!

Much as it sucks, Taichi's right. Vamdemon will be able to deduce what it means pretty quickly if a new kid suddenly shows up looking for Tailmon. Hikari needs to stay as far away from Daiba Park as possible.

So Taichi and Agumon leave while Hikari remains behind, peeking over the balcony as the battle rages in the distance.

The dub seems to have missed the context that Wizarmon summoned the cloud. Wizardmon's attack is called "Magical Game", which... means nothing. Why is Magical Game a bolt of lightning? Did it still summon the cloud? Why did it summon a thundercloud?

Tai: Look there! Up in the sky! Agumon: Wizardmon and Gatomon are in a fight! Kari: Oh no. I hope they're not being hurt. (huge crackle of spider lightning) Tai: WHOA!!! Let's go! Agumon: Right! (Tai and Agumon run for the door) Kari: WAIT UP!!! I WANNA GO TOO!!! Tai: I can't risk you getting hurt! Wait here!

I'm not sure how they know that a big thundercloud means that Wizardmon is fighting. Then again, I'm not sure how they know that in the original either. So points off for Magical Game failing to convey that he summoned the cloud but the rest of the scene is a straight adaptation.

Back in the fight at Daiba Park, the Thunder Cloud has fully joined the fray. It shoots a bolt of lightning down into Vamdemon. He blocks that with his cape as well. Vamdemon continues barking out abuser lines in his domineering voice.

Vamdemon: You know what happens when I get angry!

Tailmon rushes forward and lunges at him. Vamdemon puts her down with a backhand. Wizarmon steps up with another Thunder Cloud, but this time Vamdemon's ready for it. He blocks with his hands, somehow deflecting the shot back into Wizarmon and taking him out with his own lightning bolt.

(Two out of three hits Wizarmon's taken so far have been self-inflicted and the third was because he forgot he could fly. Wizarmon, I love you and you have phenomenal utility powers, but you really are useless as a fighter. It's okay. Not everyone's cut out for combat. You got the signal out to the reinforcements, and that's enough.)

Vamdemon grapples Wizarmon with Bloody Stream, dragging him across the lawn of Daiba Park.

Vamdemon: I'll finish you off first, Wizarmon! Tailmon: STOP!!! If you're going to do that, then do it to me! Vamdemon: Those eyes... They aren't just showing hostility. They shine with the light of hope. The light of faith in your dreams. Tailmon: That's right! I've held on this long because I believe in something! Vamdemon: In mutual trust? Devoted friendship? Such fleeting dreams reveal what a fool you are. There is no place for such dreams in this world! Tailmon: As long as I keep believing, my hopes and dreams live on! To make my dreams a reality, I will defeat you! Vamdemon: What.

Vamdemon is so taken aback by that statement, he drops his levitation and sets himself down on the ground.

Tailmon: If I don't defeat you, then I'll never reclaim my true self! Vamdemon: Reclaim your true self? You can't be-- (realizes) The Eighth Digimon!?

Not only is the cat out of the bag but she's telling Vamdemon the secrets he's not supposed to know. Fucking cats.

Something to note: Vamdemon's speech to Tailmon is poetic but even moreso than it appears in english. More than even Vamdemon realizes. We talked about this before: I need you to remember what the Japanese word for 'light' is. What he's actually saying.

Tailmon's eyes are not merely filled with defiance, but with hikari. They shine with hikari. She draws hope from hikari, draws faith in friendship and a better life from hikari.

This is why Vamdemon could never stand her eyes. Because when he looks in Tailmon's eyes, he sees the thing he fears most. The thing he must destroy. He sees the light. He sees Hikari.

In the dub, Myotismon starts off gloating about the storm.

Myotismon: Well, I hope you realize there's no place to hide during this lightning storm!

They cut the footage of him backhanding Tailmon. When Gatomon lunges for him, they play the footage of Vamdemon blocking the sky bolt backwards to make it look like he conjured another bolt down to deflect her.

Does. Does the dub think Vamdemon conjured the storm? I guess that's fair. He has done that before. He summoned storm clouds back in the Digimon World, and he brought a fog bank with him when he moved in to Daiba Park. Vamdemon has demonstrated the ability to manipulate the weather; It's just that this one isn't his.

But to me, who knows better, it looks like Wizardmon shot Gatomon with a bolt of friendly fire. USELESS-ASS WIZARD!!!

After Myotismon starts dragging Wizardmon with his Crimson Lightning, we get:

Myotismon: I'll do away with you first, Wizardmon! Gatomon: HEY!!! Why don't you pick on somebody 1/10th your size! Myotismon: There are those eyes again. And this time, not only are they filled with rebellion, but I can also see a glimmer of hope. The hope that one day your dreams will come true! Gatomon: That's right! I believe in my dreams and that's how I've made it this far! Myotismon: And just what have you really achieved? You believe in your worthless friends. And you believe that your dreams can come true. Dreams do not exist for the stupid! Gatomon: If you believe in yourself than dreams are real! And to make my dreams come true, I only have to do one thing: DEFEAT YOU!!! Myotismon: What!? (lands) Gatomon: My dream is for me to return to my true identity! The one I had before I met you! Myotismon: What do you mean, "true identity"!? Could it be that-- (realizes) Are you the Eighth Digimon!?

Both versions of this exchange are Bad Guy/Good Guy hopes-and-dreams Disney magic type dialogue. The dub loses something with the hikari piece lost in translation, but that was inevitable.

That said, as far as Disney Magic arguments go, there's something that's fun about Myotismon's line, "Dreams do not exist for the stupid!" That got me. XD

Realizing that Tailmon is the Eighth Digimon, Vamdemon alters course. Tailmon lunges for him, but he smacks her away once more.

Vamdemon: If that's true, then it changes everything. I'll send your beloved friend to Hell first. NIGHT RAID!!!

Vamdemon's bats pick up Wizarmon and drop him into Tokyo Bay. Forgetting he can fly again, Wizarmon flounders in the water and slowly goes under.

Wizarmon: WAAAAAAUUUUGH!!! (splash) Tailmon: WIZARMOOOOON!!! Wizarmon: TAAAAAAAAILMOOOOOON!!! (drowns) Tailmon: (distraught) ...Wizarmon....

What a bizarrely tame way to execute someone.

The dub keeps Vamdemon hitting Tailmon here. So. I don't know what was wrong with the last one.

Myotismon: This changes everything! Before I crush you, I'll give you the pleasure of watching me destroy your wizard friend first! GRISLY WING!!! (Bats pick up Wizardmon) Gatomon: HANG ON!!! (Bats drop Wizardmon in the bay) Wizardmon: WAAAAAAUUUUGH!!! Gatomon: NO, NOT THAT!!! (distraught) Oh no.... Myotismon: Uhuhuhuhahahahaha! Gatomon: T_T My friend....

Though the dub keeps the backhand, they do cut the shot of Wizarmon screaming Tailmon's name and then sinking beneath the water. So I guess that was too graphic.

I don't know why falling in the Bay is supposed to be such an effective killing method for Wizardmon, but apparently Gatomon does. She reacts like Myotismon broke out Wizardmon's established Kryptonite.

This is an odd scene no matter which language it's in. Wizarmon's rolling a lot of Nat 1's tonight. Maybe he should switch dice.

Too late for Wizarmon, a figure emerges from Vamdemon's fog bank.

Taichi: We've come to help, Tailmon! Tailmon: TAICHI!!!

Taichi hopes down from Greymon's shoulder, and Greymon goes to work. He lets off a Mega Flame at Vamdemon, who deflects it as easily as Wizarmon's lightning. The redirected fireball explodes several feet in front of Taichi, who's made the wise decision to go prone so it's harder to aim shots at him.

Vamdemon: I'm honored that you'd come to me voluntarily. BLOODY STREAM!!!

Vamdemon lashes Greymon with his Bloody Stream whips over and over.

In the dub:

Tai: We've come to help you, Gatomon! Gatomon: TAI!!! Tai: (hops down) QUICK, GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!

That extra line at the end is probably fair. Agumon/Greymon already had one friendly fire incident earlier today. He can't be counted on to pick his shots well.

Myotismon: WHEN WILL YOU DIGIDESTINED EVER LEARN!?!? CRIMSON LIGHTNING!!!

While Greymon tanks Vamdemon's whips, Taichi realizes this isn't going to work out and Super-Evolves Greymon.

Taichi: GO, METALGREYMON!!!

Now that MetalGreymon's on his same level, Vamdemon's not so confident. He evades a swipe from MetalGreymon's metal claw and slowly withdraws over the Tokyo Bay, creating distance from his foe.

With limited options, MetalGreymon fires his Giga Destroyer. Anticipating this move, Vamdemon whips the missiles out of the air. Unfortunately, that is all MetalGreymon has in the tank. The Giga Destroyer takes everything he has, and he reverts to Agumon.

Vamdemon: Did you think these childish tricks would work on me? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Taichi: He's tired from all the recent fighting!

As a reminder, Agumon had to Super-Evolve this afternoon to fight DeathMeramon. He may be strong enough now to avoid reverting to Baby afterwards but two Super-Evolutions in the span of like twelve hours is still a tall order.

In the dub:

Tai: GO GET HIM, METALGREYMON!!! (MetalGreymon tries, but Myotismon knocks his Giga Blaster out of the air) Myotismon: You impudent fool! Did you really think you could beat me with those pathetic little toys of yours!? HUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Tai: AGUMON!!!

The dub cuts out Taichi's explanation for why Agumon can't maintain his Perfect form. Dub Agumon drops out of Ultimate because evolutions are inconsistent, I guess.

Alright. This next bit is where things get a little screwy with the dub.

Taichi and Tailmon climb up the hill to Agumon.

Taichi: Hang in there, Agumon! Vamdemon: (levitates over) If a Chosen Child would come all the way out here, that can only mean that Tailmon truly is the Eighth Digimon. Tailmon: What are you talking about!? I'm not the Eighth Digimon! Vamdemon: We'll know for sure soon enough.

Vamdemon's Night Raid bats snatch up Tailmon, lifting her helplessly into the air.

Vamdemon: I will use Tailmon as bait to draw out the Eighth Child. Once I've gathered all of the children together, she'll pick out the correct one for me. Even without the Crest, I can still find the Eighth Child! Taichi: That's not fair, Vamdemon! Vamdemon: See you around.

Vamdemon turns and flies away, carrying Tailmon with him via his bats.

Taichi: WAIT!!! TAILMON!!! Tailmon: TAICHI!!! Vamdemon: Hmhmhmhm Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

Well, this went south real fast and in a hurry. Vamdemon's taken away Tailmon to places unknown, while Hikari's Crest has plunged into Tokyo Bay with Wizarmon. Plus side, Vamdemon got so excited about his new plan to find the Eighth Child that he completely forgot to murder that defenseless Chosen Child in front of him.

The final scene of the episode is Hikari looking out over the balcony, afraid for what could be happening at Daiba Park.

Hikari: Tailmon, you're coming back, right? (anguished) Come back...!

Then we cut to a zoomed out shot of Daiba Park at night.

Hikari: TAILMOOOOOOOON!!!

And we end the episode on Hikari's distraught scream.

Okay. So, the dub goes to commercial right after Agumon reverts. Then they come back to this scene, Kari on the balcony.

Kari: Oh, I wonder what's taking them so long? Come back, Gatomon. (Cut to zoomed out shot of Daiba Park) Kari: I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you. But I'm sure Tai and Agumon will take good care of you.

Then, we return to the park for the last part of the confrontation there. With Tai bringing us back into the scene with a hilarious moment of inexplicable jubilation.

Tai: (running up the hill to Agumon) Nice try, buddy!

Really knocked 'em dead out there, Agumon! Myotismon is about to kill us but here, have some orange slices.

Again, this is a translation of shikkari shiro that could work in the right circumstance but is contextually inappropriate for this particular situation.

Myotismon: If the DigiDestined are coming to defend Gatomon, then they really must think she is the Eighth Digimon! Gatomon: Hey, what they think is no business of yours! Go blow smoke somewhere else! Myotismon: You will pay for your impudence! Tai: Just what do you mean!? (Bats grab Gatomon) Myotismon: HUHUHAHAHAHA!!! I hope you like fishing, Gatomon! Because you're going to be the perfect bait to lure out the Eighth DigiDestined Child! Now I don't need the Crest to find that cowardly, puny human. Tai: That's low, Myotismon! Myotismon: I don't play fair! (flies away) Tai: STOP!!! GATOMON!!! Gatomon: TAI!!! HELP ME!!! Myotismon: Muhuhuhahahahaha! Narrator: Will Tai rescue Gatomon before Myotismon finds Kari? Tune in to the next Digimon: Digital Monsters.

A quick note about Tai's "That's not fair!"

The word in question is hikyou. It means sneaky, cheating, underhanded, cruel, cowardly, etc. It can be a hard word to translate, as English doesn't really have a lot of angry insults for "The action you are taking is deceitful!"

We have plenty of words like devious, underhanded, sneaky, etc. but they don't come up in common parlance. You don't shout "That's underhanded of you!" at someone. Spoken English prefers to insult the person instead of their action. You're a cheat. A skinflint. A coward. A scumbag. A bottom-feeding scum-sucking lily-livered toad.

The subs, at least these subs, tend to go with "That's low." That's low, Vamdemon! Which, like translating Onii-chan or Onee-chan as Big Bro and Big Sis, is a fair translation but isn't how people talk in English. I've never heard anyone say "That's low," as a full sentence. I have heard "That's low even for you," but not "That's low," by itself.

I like the solution that the dub came up with here. They went with "unfair". "That's unfair!" is a thing people say. They then had Myotismon clap back at it. LOL, we're at war. Pragmatism is a virtue.

Assessment: A powerful episode from start to about three quarters of the way through, but things get weird once the fight at Daiba Park starts.

Vamdemon inexplicably tosses Wizarmon in the bay so that he's where he needs to be for the next episode, and doesn't even take his Crest back. Vamdemon kidnaps Tailmon but makes no effort to harm Taichi while he has the chance. Wizarmon himself is a cavalcade of fucking up who forgets what his own powers are.

Much of the third act feels like things are just happening because the script says we need to set up the next episode, and not because any of this makes organic sense for the characters.

For its part, the dub is fantastic. Easily one of the better episodes. There's a few missed plot points here and there but it's on-the-rails far more often than not and manages to convey most of what it needs to convey despite extensive cuts to its scenes.

Cuts that are meant primarily to disguise how much abuse Myotismon inflicts on Gatomon. Nonetheless, they still manage to get the idea of that abuse across, even if they can't use most of the footage showing it. I don't think there was a kid who watched this episode and didn't understand that Myotismon beat Gatomon into submission.

[wildpeachfarm]

Do you think George or Sapnap will ever move out? Like I remember Dream saying he wanted George to leave or go to live LA if he wanted and stuff like that. And the Texas Farm that Sapnap was talking about back when Punz was still a dteam friend.

I like knowing the 3 of them live together. But they are 3 adults. And realistically they might want to live by themselves for a bit.

Also didn't George or someone talked about living next to each other, not in the same house but connected or something like that before he actually went to live with Dreamnap?

Sorry if it's a weird ask (maybe I just miss my ex- roommate)

Honestly, I get the vibes that sapnap is probably the most likely to move out simply because of how comfortable he seems doing his own thing (not in a bad way!! its just what his work demands sometimes!) like going to LA and doing nrg stuff and all that. But that's like...ONLY if i had to pick a dteam member that HAD to move out y'know? Because at the end of the day, sapnap loves chatting with his friends and the dteam setup is perfect for that because he doesn't need to do it on stream, etc.

Thinking about George, it seems like he's a little bit of a socialite in LA and he doesn't need a car as much so I can imagine that's appealing but also I feel like he's probably not feeling very much like a social-butterfly-influencer right now so I think that whole idea is probably off the table (not that I really think he would move to LA alone though, let's be honest)

Obviously, it would be epic if they all stayed together forever but also these are men in their 20s and eventually, I'm sure they will want spouses and families. And I don't think the dransion-frat-house is suitable for that LMAO

And yeah George said they should all have houses next to each other with an underground tunnel system haha which could still happen I guess!

[themightymoose]

Okay, the thoughts of the chaotic trio are thoughting 2night. Cause I have this scenario that one day Russell is really frustrated. He had a long day being all responsible trying to organize everything and anything while also keeping an eye on the other six. Basically, he's all tired and not thinking straight, so when at the end of the day Pepper, Minka, and Vinnie with their perpetual cheeriness and joling atmosphere ask why he looks so sour and he tells them to which they reply that yeah, that does seem tiring and that they feel bad for him. Russell however in his frustration says something like "Oh yeah? No, you three would never understand! You don't work as hard as I do!". So Vinnie, Minka, and Pepper just look at each other and in their reply do kinda, but not quite, fully allude to the fact they they're working every day to keep everyone's spirits high and them happy. And Russell, again, in his frustration says that this is nowhere near as hard as what he does especially given that they're naturally like that. So they all make a deal, for the next day the chaos trio won't act like they normally do. Russell tells them to just not do whatever they do to keep the atmosphere light and cheery and they will survive. So that's exactly what happens.

Next day comes and Russell now free of his frustration has almost forgot about this whole silly deal, partly because he doesn't expect much to change. Because will Pepper, Vinnie, and Minka even be able to stop themselves from acting like that? It's in their personalities after all, come on! That is until he sees them along with Penny, Sunil, and Zoe. Pepper, Minka, and Vinnie... they're there too, but they genuinely don't do any of what normally defines them. There is no silliness, jokes, randomness, there is no chaos that usually follows them and for better or for worse affects the rest of them. They're not mean by any means, they're just kinda cold and calculated, talking in that monotone voice that doesn't fit any of them.

And everyone, especially Russell feels so off. And they don't stop, Pepper, Vinnie, and Minka act this way the entire day, just kinda doing nothing. It's so weird to see them this way for everyone but still, they'll survive, right? Well, they do survive, but not only does Russell and everyone else learn that without their antics it's just not the same but also... they can stop acting like that, which means being this chaotic, cheery bunch might not be as much in their genes as the others thought. Which also means to some point they force themselves to be this way.

Because come on, no one is naturally this happy and energetic on their own all the time, right? Takes a lot of care to be careless, huh?

>:) hehehehehe scrumptious chaos trio angst hehehehe

Yeah I do imagine Russell to have that kind of resentment towards them. It's not like he dislikes having them around and bouncing all over the place, quite the opposite actually. It's just the audacity of them to pretend to know anything about what he goes through on a daily basis, it seems insensitive to him. Of course when you're frustrated you say things you don't mean. Russell kind of notices how they all seem to flinch and get uncomfortable when he says all the optimism is natural, which he brushes off as him seeing things since he's extremely tired

The next day comes and the other four are extremely confused, usually those three do something silly, or y'know... chaotic. Now they're just quiet and not really making themselves known like usual. They do try to start up conversation with them, including Russell. He tries to chat with them but is surprised when he gets three nasty glares in return. Because from their point of view, Russell is acting like nothing happened and is just expecting them to act like nothing happened in an attempt to gaslight them

Yes they know Russell probably wouldn't do that, but it's hard to believe sometimes okay? All three of them grew up around emotionally abusive people and the things that Russell said hit a bit too close to home

Russell is later confronted by Zoe, Sunil, and Penny. They quickly debunk that Russell is the cause of those three being so withdrawn, and demand an explanation. He explains everything that went down yesterday and as he's repeating what he said, the guilt crushes him all at once. Why did he say those things??? God, he was so awful to them! They were only trying to help! Russell immediately tries to apologize to them, but they're having none of it.

First, Russell tries to go to Vinnie. Now, let me talk about his trauma response, it's all about how loud and aggressive you can be. You push; he pushes harder, that's how it's always been for him. So during Russell's apology (or attempt of, he did not plan it out. He wanted to talk to them immediately) Vinnie lashes out, he's screaming and breaking things and quickly kicks Russell out. Russell decides to go to Pepper next and give Vinnie some time to cool off before trying to approach him again

Now Pepper and Minka are kind of similar in a case where screaming is a massive trigger for them. So once Russell finds Pepper after that confrontation with Vinnie, Pepper is acting off more than she's been today. Pepper trauma response is just kind of freezing up, when she was a child she would get belittled and screamed at, so she learned to just take it, she'd just be standing there with a blank expression on her face. So Russell finds her on the couch, phone in hand, but she wasn't exactly looking at it. Pepper's staring straight ahead, hands shaking and sweat running down her forehead. Russell is very concerned when he sees this and tries reaching out, only to get zero reaction. A couple moments get by with Russell having no idea what to do until Pepper suddenly turns to him, it seems like she only just noticed she had company. But when she talks she stutters and says "I-Is it safe now?" which only confuses Russell more, but Pepper doesn't wait for a response before immediately leaving. Russell notices her movements are janky and awkward, he can tell she's having somewhat of an anxiety attack

Russell decides to talk to Minka now, he'll just talk to Pepper and Vinnie later, he gets the feeling that he's not exactly welcome at the moment. Now, Minka's trauma response is to make herself as small as possible and get out of sight. Basically her only thought right now is 'hide' but she doesn't get very far before Russell approaches her. Russell accidentally startles her by tapping her shoulder, and he is surprised by how hard she flinched. Russell tries to do his third apology of the day, and Minka stares at him for about five seconds before mumbling and saying that it's fine and she's probably just overreacting like usual. Russell can immediately tell that Minka is lying (obviously) and tells her that he can tell there's more going on and that she can talk to him, he won't be mad, he promises. Minka keeps denying that anything's wrong, which makes Russell push a tad bit more. He can obviously tell that Minka and Pepper are very shaken up by Vinnie's outburst. So Minka denies and Russell pushes, it gets to a point where they're both starting to get frustrated, which results in raised voices, the thing that caused this whole mess in the first place. Minka is about to leave, but Russell is still trying to talk to her and grabs her by the shoulder to stop her from leaving, a little too forcibly. Minka spins around and finally goes "WHY WON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, DAD!?" And Minka notices she's crying and leaves before anything else could be said... or acknowledged

Russell stands there for a moment in utter shock, just wondering what the fuck just happened with a pinch of immense guilt. But that's when it hits Russell, all the reactions from those three... they were trauma responses. And Minka had blurted out 'dad' You see, the others knew they didn't have good childhoods, but that's basically it, they don't know anything else about what their lives were like, because they didn't want to pry. But Russell ends up putting two and two together. The usual happy-go-lucky ones of the friend group, some of the happiest people he ever met, his best friends... are victims of severe child abuse

And they didn't see Russell as himself. No. They saw him as their abusers

[catboytenya]

Just asking out of curiosity, but what's it like being a system?

it's different for everyone but for me it has its ups and downs, a lot of headaches, a lot of gaps in memory

(rest under a readmore! i rambled!)

but i appreciate the people in my system a lot, my headmates do things i can't do for me, like cleaning my room or dealing with intense emotions!

i don't really have a "headspace" like other systems (i think this is because i lack the ability to really visualize at all)

i don't have really great system communication, like i can't go "i want to talk to Rusty lemme go sit and chat with the guy" and go have a conversation with him, but sometimes i hear like. bits of conversation in the far back of my brain? once heard something like "sounds like a nosebleed" "*inaudible*" "THAT CAN BLEED?" with ZERO context at ALL and i never ever got the context or know anything about it or who it was having the conversation

it's a lot of leaving notes for each other and forgetting anyway 😭 i have a whiteboard above my bed for reminders, and i have a notebook that i keep things like feeding dates and shedding dates for my snake otherwise we'll over or under feed him thinking someone else didn't feed him yet or has already fed him

sometimes, i doubt myself and the validity of my own system, because that just kinda comes with mental disorders in general, y'know? and then i remember that time Eijiro had a full blown sobbing mental breakdown once because he convinced himself that he's our partner's least favorite in the system just out of his own self consciousness and paranoia, the next day someone else was fronting, completely fine, unbothered, in his own lane, ect ect, and it's like, moments like that you're like. there is not singlet explanation for this.

ALSO something that's not talked about much is that sometimes. you don't know who the FUCK you are. you're going through the list in your head like do any of these fit?? who am i?? and you genuinely Don't Know Who You Are and you have to rely on things like likes and dislikes and things to narrow it down (or phantom limbs, if you get them, and if they apply)

SPEAKING of likes and dislikes?? to this day i don't know how it works but foods will taste completely differently when other people are fronting. Oboro HATES snacky cakes and will literally gag over trying to eat them. i (katsuki) can't stand most chocolate unless it's really good milk or white or has almonds in it. things like that. i really don't know how that works but it's really weird??? if anyone knows how that works i'd love an explanation or perhaps an article or study to read

also due to the nature of systems (developing to help the host with things they can't do or handle on their own) a lot of the people in my system don't have phobias that the host or rest of the system does, and some of them formed explicitly to deal with things like that. we have a Himiko and she's the only one in the system who can stand looking at blood/gore/injuries, the rest of us can't stand any form of those and will react viscerally to it

also i have learned from experience to be careful getting into a new media/interest because there is a nonzero chance someone will move into your brain and they will not leave or pay rent. i had a fever, binge watched the bendy games, like, 7 play throughs of each. and guess fucking what! ink demon in the brain. standing there. menacingly. (he's polite tho and actually really helpful at keeping the system somewhat in order)

also on the topic of fictives it's really funny seeing the variety in them especially compared to their sources because they're very rarely carbon copies of their source characters. our shadow (the hedgehog) and tenko are littles, for example! and we technically have two katsukis that are completely different, only thing we share are our source and name

i hope that kinda answered your question?? feel free to ask more specific ones if you'd like i kinda rambled

[kart0]

Let's talk shall we ? I have big news

Hey guys, it's been quite some time since we chatted huh ?

Well, I have something I need to confess. Ever since I was a kid I never really cared too much about gender, and roles, and how we played. I was just a kid. I liked and had lots of fun dressing up as a man, wearing ties, being shirtless and on diapers. But also wearing my mom's heels and putting on her lipstick. It didn't matter

I'd do what I wanted, when I wanted.

Things started to get more serious as I grew up though. On my early teens I decided I wasn't interested on makeup, at all. And I wasn't "like the other girly girls". I hung out with a bunch of boys and we'd have fun too. But I felt weird at times. That's when I got closer to my girl friends. They were awesome and we were very, very close, for some time as well.

But I never felt home. Accepted. Comfortable. I never felt like I belonged for real, anywhere at all, and I still do have problems with that...

And then I was a teen. Started to learn more about the world, about lgbt culture. I learned about different genders. And that's what we're going to talk about on this post.

This is my coming out letter.

When I was 12 I read the Percy Jackson series. I was never truly interested in reading as kid. But my Portuguese teacher said we had to read it for class so I did. And I fell in love. And I was an avid reader, I learnt. I read one book per day. Everyday. I was amazed with Percy. He was incredible. He was everything I wanted to be.

He was everything to me.

But.

I felt something so deep, a crushing feeling I couldn't describe, that it hurt so so so much, whenever I read fanfics or saw too much fanart, or tried to be a part of the fandom.

Then later I found out it was envy. I wanted to be him so bad it hurt. I wanted to be like him, but not only have his personality, no, I wanted to look exactly like him.

I had to distance myself from the fandom and the books and I was fine for some time.

I forced myself not to care about my looks. I pretended that I didn't know what I wanted. I tried to be edgy and cool. Then I tried to look sweet and innocent. 2023 I really, really put an effort and learnt how to do makeup. I wore foundation and glittery eyeshadows and lipstick. And I felt pretty.

But. It wasn't enough for me. I felt ok most of the time, like it was acceptable. It bothered it annoyed but it was fine. In reality though I knew what I wanted.

And well, I'm bringing up Percy Jackson again. I really really liked the books. And now the series is streaming on Disney. I refused to watch it for some reason.

I think I forgot, y'know. Why I avoided and stopped liking it.

But, curse you TikTok, it started appearing on my fyp and ugh, I liked some of the videos. And now because of the algorithm it's only showing me pjo tiktoks.

Maybe I knew, deep inside, that I had to go through this discomfort. This pain, yet again. I needed to accept myself. So I kept on watching, and scrolling, until I was sobbing, lying on my bed. Feeling extremely upset.

Why wasn't I born a man. Why do I was born with curves, and boobs. Why. Why why why why why. And I cried and cried, all the pain I felt accumulated all these years.

I am coming out today because I feel finally ready and brave to accept this part of me.

I am transgender.

So are you a man ? Hm, honestly, I don't know for sure. I think I'm a girl too, sometimes. Like it doesn't bother me too much. I feel like I still need to learn and read a lot to comprehend what I feel and who I am. But for now, I'll go for unlabeled and just say I'm nonbinary. Crazy huh ? Took me 21 years to figure it out.

I'm not coming out to my family, I will never. They won't understand, and won't try to. They won't like it. And I love my family more than anything in this world. I don't want to lose them and I don't want them to look at me differently. I don't care if I'm still their little girl. I will keep being their little girl forever. Doesn't bother me.

I don't care that my friends or my irls still refer me as a woman either. Cuz sometimes I feel like a woman. I dress like a woman.

So... What will change then, you may ask ?

Firstly, hm... I don't think much will change. I will refer myself as a man on social media. I will use he him pronouns and I will say I have a massive, huge fucking dick. Heh. Makes me laugh.

I think what mattered to me first was just coming to terms that yeah, I am trans. And this is how I feel. And who cares if nothing changes. It's my own fucking life.

I'm scared of medical procedures and I don't want to transition. For now. As I mentioned before, I don't want to scare my family. I don't want to lose them. Do I wish I was born a male ? Yes. Do I wish, I looked like a man ? Of course. But for now, looking like a woman will have to do the job.

But what's fun is that I'm on art school. Everyone's fucking gay !!!!! And nobody cares how you dress ! So this will be fun now that I feel free. I can do whatever the fuck I want.

This post is too long and I'm so sorry. I wish I could thank Percy for giving me the "splash" haha and making me learn more about myself.

And now I can live my life without the guilt I carried before.

Happy 2024 everyone

[emi-g]

Verde Visión: Deleted Scenes

I would've loved to have Chapter 22 ready yesterday, the 1-year anniversary of when I posted the first chapters to AO3. But it's turning out to be a long one (and an important one) and needs a little more love. Also, work has me feeling like our girl Mirabel here these past few weeks. (It's a good burned out! But it's still burned out...)

But I like marking milestones, so I went back into my snippets folder in Scrivener and pulled out some scenes that I cut from the story so far for various reasons.

Spoilers for Verde Visión below the cut.

Chapter 6

[In the final version, Bruno finds Flora y fauna del desierto de Sonora on his bookshelf on his own. But before that, Isabela was supposed to come in after his talk with Mirabel and give it to him.

I think I cut it because it felt weird to have her come in just for that. But then I went on to have plenty of other characters do similar things so...??]

A moment later, he heard his door creak open. "Mira, please," he sighed, "just knock first?" He turned to frown at her but found Isabela making her way through the antechamber instead. "Oh, hey Isa." He straightened his back and wiped at his face with a napkin, hoping his eyes weren't red. "Doing a little night gardening?" he asked, and went back to poking at his soup, now congealing, not expecting a response. When it came to regular visitors to his room, Isabela couldn't be more different than Mirabel. Where Mirabel was inquisitive and loquacious, Isabela was focused and reserved. She would wander in, borrow a book or tend to the cactus garden she was growing in the sandy ground floor of his tower, and then wander back out, sometimes with barely a word. She'd always had a regal bearing even as a young girl, but since the reconstruction of the house (and the family), it was like she no longer felt the need to perform all the social pleasantries that had been expected of her her entire life. She could just be herself. Her strange, fabulous, slightly-menacing self. She scared him a little bit, but if she was happy then he was happy for her. And she showed her affections in other ways, like decorating his room with plants that thrived in the arid environment. Breezing past him, she patted him on the shoulder, and started climbing the bookshelf ladder. "Ah, going for a book? Let me know if you find a good one," he said, then pitched his voice up to a falsetto, "'Thank you, Tío Bruno! You're my favorite and most talented tío!'" A while later she descended the ladder, book in hand. And then to his surprise, she placed it front of him on the workbench. He read the cover, Flora y fauna del desierto de Sonora. "Your future wife is from Sonora, Mexico and she's big into nature," she said. "Read up so you have something to talk about later." She squeezed his shoulders and made her way back to the door. Bruno almost exploded. "Ahhh not you too! Are there any secrets in this family? Y'know, of course not, I should really know better by now," he grumbled, and then called after her, "Nice talking with you, Isa! You know I love our little chats!" She twirled around to face him, her eyes twinkling with amusement, and then pointed into the rafters. "Your new friend is cute," she said, and then slipped out the door backwards with a wink. He swiveled on his stool and peered upwards. What now? Could no one in this house just leave him alone to wallow in his misery for even a single night?

---

Chapter 15

[A scene from when Esme is sad and restless because she hasn't seen Bruno in a week. She goes to visit Sofía at the café, not realizing it's too early for anyone to be awake.]

When she arrived at the café, she found the patio was empty. Of course it was, she thought, the sun had barely risen, no one else was up at this hour. Well, no one except the Espinosas, judging by the warm and inviting smell of baked goods wafting out of their window, preparations for the busy day to come. Not wanting to distract them, she turned to head back to the schoolhouse. "Esme?" She whipped around and saw Sofía leaning out the front window. "What are you doing out there, Profe?" she said, smiling brightly. "Get in here and let me put you to work!" She made good on her promise, setting Esme to the task of shaping the pandebono dough into rolls and rings. Esme wasn't fast, but she didn't need to be, the pace of life was slower here. Things happened when they happened, what was the rush? And it was soothing, rolling out little ropes of cheesy dough, like making snakes with modeling clay, and then forming them into donuts and laying them on the wooden peel. "You know, if you're looking for company, you should sit out on the patio after this," said Sofía. "You're still kind of a mystery to most folks, I'm sure they'd love to chat." "Hmm, no thanks," said Esme. "I'm pretty sure I know what they'll all want to talk about." Sofía hummed an acknowledgement. "Most of them have given up trying to warn you away from him, you know. Now they're just praying for you." She smiled slyly. "They say he's seduced you with his evil ways." Esme chuckled to herself, picturing Bruno hopping around her classroom with a bucket on his head. "Well, his evil ways are pretty unconventional."

---

Chapter 16

[This was originally the beginning of the chapter, where Bruno is going to see Esme for their Friday date night totally platonic coffee and conversation.

Cut because it was one of those scenes where I was just having fun imagining logistics and infrastructure in the encanto and it didn't really add anything.

Also, one of the most flagrant examples of how lazy I am when I pick names for random townspeople. Oh, you designed the fountain? You're Señor Fuentes.]

"Now, class, we've learned that gravity is what feeds the fountain, but can anyone tell us what it is that causes the water to spray into the air?" "Water pressure," Bruno answered under his breath. He shifted his body a few inches to the left to avoid the edge of a clay tile digging into his hip, and rested his chin in his hand again. Currently, he was laying on his stomach on the roof of one of the buildings adjacent to the square, peeking out from behind the roof's ridge. He'd very nearly walked right past Esme and her class on his way to the schoolhouse this Friday afternoon, too absorbed in thinking about what they'd talk about tonight. (And very grateful to have the chance again.) But just as he'd been preparing to jump an alleyway, he'd heard her voice and found them gathered around the town's large stone fountain in the square. They'd even carried the blackboard into the plaza for Esme to sketch a cross-section of the fountain's workings on. Today, he wasn't the only one overhearing her lesson. A good number of the town's residents, intrigued by the spectacle, had gathered to observe. For that reason, he was being very careful not to be spotted up here. The last thing he needed was for the them to fear that he was lurking above them as well as in their nightmares. Thanks for that one, Camilo. A hand went up, and Bruno smiled proudly. "Yes, Mirabel?" "Water pressure?" "You got it!" Esme confirmed, to his niece's beaming satisfaction. She turned to face the older man beside her, wearing a smartly-pressed guayabera and shielding himself from the sun under a sombrero vueltiado. "Señor Fuentes, can you tell us more about it?" Along with the change in venue, evidently, Esme had also invited a guest speaker. Bruno's smile widened. It was good to see he was still around. Señor Fuentes had been a young man about Bruno's mother's age when he fled the violence that had engulfed their former hometown. Alma had counted him as one of their many blessings when she learned they had an engineer among their numbers. And one so passionate about his work that rather than packing his single bag with clothes or money, he'd brought along only his instruments, his most precious possessions. When he was a boy, Bruno had followed him around from time to time, full of questions about his work that he answered with patience and genuine enthusiasm. Those were the days when his gift had felt the most useful. When he could look into the town's future and tell him where they would lay the next road or build the next house. And Señor Fuentes, though he would always verify the suitability of a site with his instruments, was grateful for the time saved finding it. "One of the first major pieces of infrastructure we built here was an aqueduct that carried water from a nearby spring in the mountains to this fountain," he said. "This is where everyone without access to a well used to get their water for drinking and cooking. And water pressure is what makes it possible. Of course, we had to make sure that there was enough pressure to make it flow, but not so much that it would take your head off when you opened the spigots!"  That got a laugh from the class. And as he continued, Esme wrote a formula on the board. "One foot of height creates 0.433 pounds per square inch of water pressure," he said. "Considering the terrain, calculating the height is a little more complicated than we have time for today, but assuming a water elevation of 163 feet, how many psi is that here at the fountain?" Bruno didn't bother trying to answer that one. He'd never been as interested in numbers as he was with letters. Esme, on the other hand, seemed to have a natural affinity for them. Sure enough, when no hand went up, she answered, "Seventy."

Señor Fuentes looked at her with an expectant little smile. "Don't be shy, Profesora." "Point five seven nine," she added, a bit bashfully, and then waved a hand as her students gave her a teasing round of applause and cheers.

[Bruno follows them back to the schoolhouse and overhears Esme and Señor Fuentes from the alleyway.]

"And thank you for the invitation! Before I go home and boast insufferably about it to the lady of the house, I have a question for you, Profesora," he said. His voice, all warmth and amusement, took on a curious note. "Tell me, when can we expect you and Bruno Madrigal to tie the knot, hm? It's been a long time since the last Madrigal wedding, and we're quite looking forward to it."

Bruno flattened himself against the wall and held his breath. He'd never liked to keep Esme waiting, but he suddenly wished he'd been late getting here today. He wasn't sure he should be hearing this.

There was a pause. Long enough to tell him Esme was surprised, but short enough to tell she wasn't that surprised. He wondered, with a wince of sympathy, just how many times she'd been asked that since she'd been here.

"What makes you think we will?"

His heart fluttered a little in his chest.

It's not like he should want her to agree with the prophecy. In fact, for her sake, he sincerely hoped she was dead set against it. Still, he knew that hearing her refuse it outright would've stung.

But she hadn't. Not exactly.

"Come now," said Señor Fuentes. "Surely you've observed by now, his accuracy rate is one hundred percent! It would seem to be only a matter of time."

"A hundred percent?" she asked, with playful skepticism. "Do we really have enough data points to make that kind of claim? What if it's actually ninety-nine point nine nine repeating?"

Señor Fuentes chortled in response to her deflection. "Profesora, you're a lot like me, I suspect. So I'll leave you with some advice. Every once in a while, do what your heart tells you to do, and not just your head."

Well, bless the man for trying anyway.

But there was no time to think about that now. Bruno needed to prepare his best pose for lurking ominously in a doorway. Because soon Esme would be looking for him in the supply closet and he wouldn't be there. Which meant, for once, he'd be able to surprise her. 

He pulled his hood over his head and snickered to himself in anticipation.

He really should've known better.

"There you are!"

With a strangled yelp, he whirled around and found Esme approaching with a book and a stack of papers. "How the—" he sputtered. "Seriously, what is it!? Can you read minds or something?"

"Please," she scoffed, "isn't one curse enough? And can you carry these for me?" She didn't wait for an answer before circling behind him and setting about putting her materials in his bag.

---

Chapter 21

[Another example of just me entertaining myself.

This bit used to be how Bruno figured out where Esme was headed after she runs away from Casita, but I cut it because it interrupted the urgency of the chase and there was already an established way for him to know—an earlier vision.]

Agustín had a theory about Bruno's library. A theory that the books in it were magical reproductions of all the books in the valley.

His theory had been proven correct just days ago, while Bruno was reading to Antonio.

He was in the middle of explaining what the book meant by flocks of birds showing up on "radar", when he'd stopped and realized that he was simply repeating what Esme had originally explained to him during her lessons on World War II. It would be impossible for a book in his library to reference radar. Because it wouldn't have existed before the valley sprang up around them fifty years ago.

That is, unless it was a reproduction of a book Esme had brought into the valley with her. It would explain why he couldn't remember having ever seen that book on his shelf before that night Esme had climbed his tower. It would also explain what a detailed guidebook to the Sonoran Desert was doing in a small town in the Colombian rainforest in the first place.

For the first time, he'd flipped to the front of the book to check the date it was published—1946.

A full forty-six years after they would've been cut off from any printed word besides what they brought with them or wrote themselves. And while there was a small press in town, this wasn't their mark.

Agustín had been ecstatic when Bruno showed him the proof for his theory. And since they now knew the library would add books when new ones were written or brought into the valley, he now theorized that the reverse might be true. That books in the library might disappear if their counterpart was destroyed or left the valley.

Bruno could now tell him that his second theory had proven correct. Unfortunately, it was because Flora y fauna del desierto de Sonora (D. Chavez) was gone from his desk.

Which meant Esme had already left the valley with the original copy.

[Dun dun dun!]

---

Chapter 21

[Just some some silly Bruno dialogue I cut from the scene with him and Esme at the river, because Félix's advice ended up a little different in the final version.]

Félix's advice echoed in his mind. Tell her what you're thinking, be honest with her. "You're looking pretty bedraggled." Not THAT honest! "Ahhh I mean, bedraggled and pretty! Both! Kinda like when one of the rats falls into the mop bucket, ya know? They're all soggy and stuff and their fur's all sticking up in all directions but they're still real cute?" Stop! Talking!

---

Oh, Bruno, you try so hard.

Thanks for reading! Hopefully, I'll see y'all again soon.

[castshed]

I dunno if it's just the mental state talking or if maybe there's some truth behind what i've been thinking about since I got off work this morning....

But it truly feels like my time on this site might be more limited than I'd like it to be. Sure, there are some people that still seem like at least somewhat interested to entertain the thought or action of writing with me, but... the majority seeningly don't. Maybe it's my rules? Am I not lenient enough? Am I too weird 'cause of a simple lousy (kind of) fetish I have for taller women? I honestly don't get it.

I've been on this site consecutively for.... I have no idea how many years now. And sure, I've taken my breaks, some rather abruptly and unannounced, but they count... This feels different.

I usually have cycles where I want to do nothing but watch YouTube videos or tons of movies or start series' i've never gotten a chance to get to, or do nothing but play video games. But in the end I would always come back to writing.

Recently, I haven't wanted to do the latter. It just seems so... grueling, like a 9-5 job you don't wanna do but need to because it appeases some sort of agenda or just 'cause you have to pay bills on time and eat.

And trust me, I'm one of those people that doesn't see this site as a job, nor do I feel like writing is a chore. USUALLY.

But the lack of people's interest in things (idk if it's my muses-- me as a person) or the lack of reciprocation to things that take all but a few seconds to lift someone's spirits... has just really turned me off. (Not to mention broken notifications, the new dashboard - y'know all of Staff's TERRIBLE choices)

People also have jobs, I get it. Or school... kids, a life. This is truly something you do in your down time because you enjoy it and may have found the time to actually sit down and relax for once without the overbearing weight of other responsibilities holding you down - I just.. I honestly don't know anymore.

Now normally I wouldn't try and sound so much like a beggar or some kind of attention-seeking child, but is it so hard to send positivity in return sometimes? - Like I get that I may not be active 90% of the time lately, but at least I make the time and put in the effort to show that I care and still enjoy seeing actual people on my dash. - I always send it in and hardly get it back. And sure, maybe within the answer to my initial interaction there's something said. But that's more of a response than an actual attempted effort. At least, to me it is.

I also understand that I haven't been the best at replying to sent in memes, or asks in general, but that's because my muse has been at an all-time-low for ALL of my muses, save for like... ONE of my OCs (Sophie; though even now, I'll admit, she's kinda gone too.), and I get sick of staring at them, irritated that I can't muster up a SINGLE word to reply to any of them with... so eventually I delete them and hope to TRY from an empty slate.

I guess I just miss having that person or small group of people that I could count on all the time for things, regardless of our moods, what time of day it was, what we were doing -- etc. I've only ever been affiliated once, and... it probably wasn't the best choice. But the intentions at the time were nothing but good, and it wasn't heavily enforced, save for MAYBE a single ship, or two. Not having that security anymore just shakes things up too much and I guess it's one change that I could never get used to.

Regardless, the thoughts of this morning have me leaning toward either some kind of indefinite hiatus, or a massive reboot to start anew and maybe find a new place to settle. Those of you that want me around can keep me on discord and continue to chat with me there. But if not, and IF I do decide to go that route, I bid thee farewell and I hope for nothing but good luck in your future endeavors.

[damienthepious]

continuing to be unhinged on main, i guess the florist/tattoo artist au has another chapter now??? but THIS time i truly think that’s it. that’s it! I’m tapped for this au. unless i think of something else fun. and then all bets are off.

Budding, Blooming (chapter 2)

[ch 1] [ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien, Sir Damien/Rilla, Lord Arum/Rilla, Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, (but there’s still monsters), Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Pre-Relationship, Romantic Tension, Poetry, Flowers, Valentine’s Day, (implied but not stated. could be a some weird modern-citadel fest), DOESN"T MATTER

Summary: ... Was he asking for a date, though?

Notes: okay fuck. alright. okay so there's more. it's fine. thank you for uhhhh sticking with me as i took an unexpected month off!! felt weird, gang. felt real weird.

~

Arum feels... unsettled as he locks up the shop, that evening. He half expected Damien to have returned before he finished, considering- well. Considering. But the street is dark and still shining with the brief rain from a few hours earlier, and it is entirely empty of meddling poets as Arum flicks the keys around his fingers, his shoulders sagging with a sigh.

Long, grueling day. Damien hadn't been the only annoyance, of course. He hadn't even been the worst annoyance, surprisingly, and Arum is... tired. Perhaps he should have told the poet to come another day- tomorrow, or next week, or-

(Enough time to talk himself out of the idea.)

"Did he finally get up the nerve?"

Arum jumps, the keys flinging off his fingertips and hitting the pavement with a heavy chime as he whirls, teeth automatically bared and another hand clenching hard behind his back.

"What?" he snaps sharply, embarrassed without really knowing why, and then-

It's the woman from across the street, from the tattoo shop. Amaryllis- Rilla, Damien's- his-

(Once or thrice she has stopped by, warm and chipper and citing small business owner solidarity with a smile, chatting amiably about her almost-botany-degree while acting as if Arum isn't the most uncomfortable and asocial monster to ever crawl out of the swamp. She's sourced rare or monstrous flowers through him before, too, both for her own personal collection and because pics on the internet aren't good enough, I want this piece to work and I want hands on the real thing for my preliminary sketches. Which Arum... could not help but respect. It makes sense, to Arum, that Damien would fixate on someone like her.)

(She goes by Rilla, he knows, but Damien's insistence every single time he tried to plan an arrangement for her, every time, it needed amaryllis, he must add amaryllis, and amaryllis for Amaryllis caught in his head sturdy enough that he cannot seem to shake that name.)

(And now she's here in front of his shop and almost leering while Arum is distracted thinking about Damien and she's asking about- what? What-)

"Whoa, sorry," she says, grinning in a decidedly unapologetic way as she lifts her hands. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"You- would hardly say that you-" he huffs, flicking his tail to snag the keys and dropping them back into his hands. "I am fine."

"Right," she says, her eyes dancing (reminding Arum forcefully of one of Damien's poetic scraps), and then she tips her head. "I was just curious, y'know. The holiday and all, and he came out of here absolutely bouncing. He usually looks like a wet puppy when he leaves your shop, you know."

"What?" Arum says again, pulling his head back. "Who?" he asks, despite the fact that his stomach is clenching with a certainty that he does, in fact, know who.

"Damien, that cute poet boy," she says, her mouth curling into a warmer smile. "He's friends with my brother, so he stops by the parlor sometimes. Or- they're friends now," she says, rolling her eyes and gesturing to nothing before she shakes her head. "It was a whole thing, before, but- nevermind, not the point. Did he finally...?"

She leaves the question in a suggestive stretch, her eyebrows rising as she trails off, and Arum clenches his hands and stiffens with another wave of incomprehensible embarrassment, his throat ticking in a helpless rattle and his traitor frill rising at his neck.

"I don't know what you could mean," he rushes in a single breath, wrinkling his snout with as much disdain as he can muster.

"Aw, c'mon," she wheedles, leaning closer as Arum stiffens. "I've been dying over there watching him dance circles around you."

"Around-" Arum sputters, flicks his eyes away. "Around me?"

Some of the smirk falls out of Amaryllis' smile, then, her expression softening. "It looked like he asked you out. That's all. I don't mean to be nosy, I just-" she pauses, then laughs. "I just am. Nosy, I mean."

Arum barks a laugh at that, helpless against it, and then he huffs a breath and glances to the side, to the still empty, still rain-wet street gleaming in the light from the shops. "I don't-"

And he pauses.

Did- was that-

He had assumed, from Damien's tone, from the context of the day and-

"He asked if he could come meet me," Arum says slowly. "After my shift was over. I don't... I don't know if he meant..."

He trails off, stomach twisting, suddenly much more uncertain, and then he looks to Amaryllis again. Her smile twitches as she meets his eye, and she nods, her expression going thoughtful and sympathetic.

"That sounds like he was asking you out?" she says, her inflection swooping upward at the end. "I would think?"

She pauses, while Arum's stomach continues to do unhelpful little turns, his hands flexing, and then she tips her head gently to the side.

"Did you... want him to be asking you out?"

Usually, Arum only wishes that he could sink into the mantle of the planet once per day at the very most. This holiday might kill him, he muses.

"N-no," he sputters after a suspicious beat. "He is- he- utterly obnoxious, and-"

"So... that isn't what the flowers are for," she drawls, her eyelids lowering and her smirk reemerging with a sly little twist (another poem screams to the forefront of Arum's mind, distracting as a flitting moth).

Arum stiffens further as the words sink into his mind. He clenches the hand already held behind his back, ineffectually trying to hide- the bouquet.

(Ridiculous. This was ridiculous. Two canceled orders and a few minutes stolen time and the vague idea that Damien would like these colors together, the memories of the flowers Damien gravitated towards when he would plan out his own arrangements-)

He manages a sound that could be half the word no, an awkward nasal humming, and then his voice fails entirely as the compulsive rattling growl in his throat takes precedence.

Amaryllis giggles, and Arum does not know why he does not instantly take offense to the noise. Perhaps because it sounds entirely joyful, and not at all mocking.

He sighs, after a moment, relaxing his arm and holding the bouquet at his side rather than behind his back. "Perhaps," he admits, but then he glances back through the unlit shop window, to where he can see the clock. "Though I'm not certain that it matters."

Her smile subsides a little, her head tilting. "Hm?"

"He's... late."

He told Damien he would be done around seven. He had been optimistic, apparently. It is already nearing eight, and... he and Amaryllis are still alone on the dimly lit street. He had been (without admitting it to himself) keeping an eye on the door since six thirty, for all the good it did him.

"Oh," Amaryllis says, and Arum turns his attention to her again at the quiet note of sympathy in her voice. "Maybe he... lost track of time?"

Arum thinks of the hours that Damien has previously spent agonizing about his potential purchases, and decides that the possibility is entirely likely. He is unsure if that makes him feel any better, however.

He realizes, belatedly, that Amaryllis has stepped a little closer, and he tries not to visibly tense as she lifts a hand.

"Can I see?" she asks, and Arum can't quite think of a reason to say no. He sighs again, lifting the bundle and allowing her to brush, just barely, the petal of one of the flowers. "It's pretty. The colors-"

"It was the best I could do with scraps," he deflects, shrugging one shoulder.

"It's pretty," she repeats with a stubborn lilt, glaring up at him as she gently cups a hand around one of the few roses he'd managed to salvage, a dusty pale purple thing, and the way her fingers curl against the petals is almost protective. There is something about the gesture that Arum feels like he needs to look away from. "And it's very sweet of you."

Arum grumbles, some part of himself distracted with wondering if he has ever in his life before been called sweet.

She seems to realize that she's still got her hand in his flowers, and she shifts backward without taking a step, dropping her hands back to her sides and briefly biting her lip.

"Tell you what," she says, and then she- she hesitates for a half second, ducking her head and then looking up at Arum with her dark, oddly searching eyes. "I'll wait with you. If he doesn't come..." she shrugs, "I'll walk you home."

Arum's instincts flare in at least three directions, after a moment of confused sputtering he hones in on his indignation, stiffening.

"I do not need your pity," he says, only barely managing not to spit, and Amaryllis-

Half-steps back, blinking as her expression opens in surprise.

"Wh... whoa, what? No, no, I just-" she shakes her head, giving a stunted, embarrassed laugh. "Being stood up sucks for anyone," she says, "and I just- I mean, it isn't like I haven't thought about it, y'know? You've got this whole," she pauses to gesture with a hand, up and down Arum's entire body as if that explains anything, "this whole thing, hold yourself all regal and- if we weren't both so busy constantly it might've been nice to try- to ask- I don't know, I don't-"

She pauses more fully, lifting her shoulders as she takes a deep breath and then releases it, giving Arum a wincing smile as he stares at her, still uncomprehending.

"I am... making a complete ass of myself, aren't I?"

She waits for him to answer, which means that Arum needs to come up with one. He can feel his tail twitching behind him, so he tries to curl it around his ankle to keep from hitting anything.

"I don't have the first idea what any of that meant," he admits, and she exhales a sigh that sounds relieved.

"That's fine, that's great, I was just- what I meant was, I don't want to walk you home out of pity. I want to walk you home because- because I just want to. It isn't like I have anyone else to take me out tonight, anyway," she adds, not sounding bothered about it.

Arum turns that over, then slowly gives a nod.

"Solidarity again," he murmurs, and Amaryllis snorts.

"Well- not exactly, but- fine. Yeah, that works."

Arum considers letting it drop there, but-

"If not that, then what?" he asks, his voice sounding tired even to his own ears, and she gives him a searching look.

"I like you," she says after a beat, and then she shrugs as Arum's comprehension staggers to another halt. "I'm literally too busy to date, so it's not like I was planning on doing anything about it, but- you're fun to talk to, you're gorgeous, I like talking to you," she shrugs again, a little too casual, and realization hits Arum like a physical blow that she's nervous about this, at least to some degree. "And I don't want you to have to walk home alone in the dark on some big dumb romance holiday when I could walk with you instead. So."

Arum stares at her for another long moment, but-

Before he can respond, he hears footsteps on wet pavement, and he turns his head at precisely the right moment to see Damien round the corner at an anxious jog, skidding on the turn, a journal overflowing with stuffed in pieces of extra paper clutched against his chest.

"Arum, I-"

Damien twitches with his entire body when he recognizes Amaryllis, the nervousness in her expression replaced now with amusement and delight, and-

The three of them... stare. At each other. Arum considers his third bout of wishing for swift removal from the planet. Damien looks as if he may have forgotten how to breathe air. Amaryllis only looks more amused with each moment.

But then Arum-

(Flowers in his hand. Bouquet here and now between Damien and Amaryllis. A box full of poems. Love poems.)

Arum has a moment of clarity.

He understands what he should do, even as Damien finally takes a breath to collect himself and and steps forward again. It makes Arum feel as if his stomach has vanished, but... well. It doesn't matter.

Arum holds the flowers up, pressing them into Damien's hands as the poet flushes dark and sputters wordlessly, and then Arum turns towards Amaryllis.

"He hasn't been coming by my shop for my sake," he explains, his voice strangely calm. "He was trying to pick out the perfect flowers for you, and the nerve to give them. Because he adores you," he continues, watching Amaryllis' lips part with surprise. "He's written dozens of poems for you and doesn't consider any of them sufficient to present to you, despite their beauty and deftness. He-" Arum inhales, a hint of a shake entering his voice. "He made a mistake, earlier today. I made him feel guilty. He was trying to... make up for inconveniencing me. But it is you, that he wishes to be with."

Arum makes himself turn towards Damien, then, who has returned to open gawping, his hands clutched hard around both his journal and the flowers.

"You should give those to her, honeysuckle," Arum says, because that's what happens next, isn't it? And Arum can- he can go. He's no longer needed in this exchange, and he can finally escape this whirlpool of discomfort and go back to-

Being alone.

"Hey whoa hold up-"

Amaryllis grabs his wrist before he can even finish turning, which is so surprising that Arum fully freezes instead of pulling away like he should.

"I- what? You can't just drop a bomb like that and leave."

Arum glances between the two of them, who- why are they both looking at him? Shouldn't they be- he doesn't know, falling into each other, already? It should be abundantly clear that Arum has no place here, between them.

Damien's pout is firmly aimed in his direction, however. And he glances down at the bouquet for a heartbeat, his face softening, before he shuffles the book into that hand as well, carefully juggling both objects so he can step forward and take one of Arum's other hands, his brow furrowed.

"I did not make a mistake, today," he says, and Arum is mortified to find that his voice sounds hurt. "It is-" he flushes, but perseveres, "it is true that I have been... contemplating a romantic gesture towards- towards Rilla, yes, but- but that does not mean that my words to you today were a mistake." He swallows, glancing to Amaryllis for a moment, and adds, "I apologize, that you needed be told in this way. You deserve far more than that, I should say."

"Don't mention it," Amaryllis says, her nose wrinkling as she flaps a hand in the air. "If it makes you feel better, I kinda figured you had the hots for Arum and I was stuck across the street wishing I had more free time to join the flirting."

Arum feels his frill twitch and Damien gives a startled laugh of his own.

"Flirting with- with who, may I ask?"

Amaryllis shrugs, grinning again, still holding Arum's wrist. "No wrong answers, there, I think," she says slyly, and Arum chokes on a breath, unfortunately drawing both of their attentions again. "So. Wait," Amaryllis says, tilting her head to the side. "So... Damien. You- you like me?"

Damien's flush deepens, and his throat seems to have failed to work, but he does manage to nod, his expression almost brokenly shy. Amaryllis, conversely, grins even wider.

"And you like Arum," she continues, and Damien nods again, his brow furrowing, obviously as uncertain as Arum is, as to where, precisely, she's going with this line of thinking. "So you like me and Arum, and honestly I've been fighting back crushes on the both of you for weeks now, and Arum- the date and the flowers, I think you probably like Damien back, yeah?" she asks, but she doesn't actually seem to expect an answer, this time. "And... do you feel any sort of way about me?"

Arum stiffens, two of his hands still clutched in their absurdly warm grasps, feeling utterly trapped. But-

He swallows. He glances down at each of them, hesitant and unable to hold their gazes for more than a moment each.

"You-" he hesitates, then jumps when he feels Damien squeeze his hand. "You inspire poetry," he says in a rush, and then he looks away entirely, growling low in his throat without meaning to. "Your work is exquisite and your laugh reminds me of sunlight," he adds, still growling, still not looking.

And then Amaryllis drops his hand, and he lets himself look again, startled into another spike of anxiety, but all she's done is pressed a hand over her heart, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth and her expression very tentatively hopeful. She inhales, deep but shaky, and then she quirks a smile and holds her hand out again, offering rather than taking.

"Pretty much every restaurant is going to be full up tonight," she says, "so if we want to go somewhere to talk and have some coffee, maybe... my apartment is above the shop. We could... we could go sit down, maybe. Talk a little bit more about... who likes who. And if we might want to do something about that."

Arum- blinks, then glances down towards Damien, whose expression has tilted so far past hopefulness so fast that he looks near to tears.

And he still hasn't let go of Arum's hand.

This holiday might kill him, Arum thinks again, and then-

He nods, and he takes Amaryllis' hand too.

[boralogues]

i should be doing japanese hw but whatever i managed a 100% on a written test last year ill be fine. anyways, hc's about candi! this time just general relationships w the others >:) Joe- pretty chill. she understands that joe doesn't want to talk to her, or anyone besides bora, and doesn't mind. the two just kinda chill around eachother and bond over a shared dislike of zubin. she tries to help him if he needs it

Zubes- very complicated. y'know how i said she really hates zubin. well she kinda doesn't. she's more upset at her situation and that zubes got her stuck there in the first place, than at him for being the way he is. candi doesn't really talk if he's in the room, but will say a few things. she's very vocal about her frustration and dislike of the situation. she just needs a target for her frustration and it happened to be zubes. she doesn't actually hate him deep down

Andy- neutral. doesn't really mind him, but doesn't know why he likes zubin so much. she has to ask him for most things, since he's the only one who can get them. sometimes, if he bites candi, she freaks out but now she doesn't rlly mind since it happens a fair bit. (also whats with the goop coming off of him in all of that art he's in? i just wanna know what it is)

Rob- concern and confusion, but also friends. really worried and confused as to why he's always crying, but understands it may be something she can't influence or control. she's a pretty good therapist when she wants to be, and just kinda makes sure rob isn't going too badly. she'll talk to him a fair bit since he always wants to talk to joe, and gets denied every time.

Ross- doesn't really know him. ross is by himself, playing the drums most of the time, so candi doesn't really see him all that often. he was her favourite band member before they went all obsessive over MK+A, so is a bit annoyed she doesn't see him more, but she keeps it to herself and understands he might not want to talk to her or the others.

Bora- friends. candi thinks bora is cool. they talk a lot about random stuff they like. idk why but i think bora is good at cooking stuff, so candi might take lessons from him sometimes. she often babysits some of his rats if he can't carry them around or is busy preforming.

Steve- Pretty good friends. candi and steve get along really well, like casey and steve do, since candi's also on the quiet side, and is pretty accommodating for steve's needs. she thinks he's basically just a house cat, but that it's very entertaining. sometimes he'll just be sitting somewhere weird and candi wont mind. she's prolly trying to learn sign language or something similar to more easily communicate with him. she probably vents to him a lot bur feels bad for it

casey- probably the most healthy relationship in the au. casey and candi are both in the same boat, struggling with a lot of the same stuff. the two spend a lot of time chatting, doing random stuff, or being eachother's therapists. candi's got a lot of pent up frustration and sadness, and they only feel comfortable sharing it with casey and steve. they probably have a kindof family dynamic, like cousins or older brother/younger sister relationship since there'd be an age gap. candi is most like their pre-death self around casey.

Ryan- mysterious. seen him like, twice, maybe. thinks he's chill though, but gets scared when he just shows up like "hey lmao wanna check out this letter i got?" all of a sudden

misc head cannons:

candi is biromantic/ace bcz why not. if u gave her a hug she'd be really thankful, the poor girl needs therapy asap. she probably likes hugs a lot, but if someone just suddenly hugged her she'd just be like "wtf get away from me" before realising "damn i rlly needed this" and crying a lot. her hugs are super comforting, but a bit short. she hates sudden loud noises, like slamming doors or sirens, in fact she just hates anything happening without warning. she's super jumpy and gets anxious a lot, and copes by fiddling with whatever she has on her, or just by fiddling with her hoodie. her right eye is a little blurry from the scar over it, but it's not enough to need contacts/glasses. (sorry this is so long lol im hyper fixating on this stuff and im going thru art block but a sudden writing unblock so yh lmao. i might draw the others in the au soon, but i have a swimming carnival soon since im aussie and its still summer and a bunch of tests coming up. anyways, if u have any hc's please do share them im rlly interested in what u think :D)

Joe could totally relate w the zubin&Andy relationship. He Dislikes zubin and doesn't really understand why Andy likes him so much HSHFHD Joe and Candi would def bond over that and Joe would give understanding nods in response to Candis vents abt Zubin.

Oh yeah Andy is a biter HDJDHDHD he will bite anyone who talks to Zubin (especially if him and Zubin were in a convo and were suddenly interrupted) or anyone who doesn't rlly like Zubin (Joe avoids Andy for the most part) and the goop is just goop!!! He's just a melty boy idrk why I made his design like that but I've been drawing two wuv Andy like that since 2018 :p

Awww yeah :( I love the Rob relationship, that is very real Rob will almost all of the time just be like "oh haha okay cool I'm gonna find Joe" and just walk away 😭

AW OMFG I love the idea of Candi taking care/babysitting Boras rats that is so cute 🫶🫶!!!!

Love the family dynamic with Steve/Casey/Candi that is so real :)) they'd def hang out a lot upstairs in the two wuv house (most of them live downstairs) and spend a lot of time venting to each other or chatting about random stuff :)) I think that is very sweet <3

Candi being scared by loud noises is so real I get it. She'd def ask Andy if he can go get her earplugs or like headphones, something to dull the loud noises in the house (Andy eventually is able to steal earplugs from some hunters in the woods)

That's all okay !!!!! I love reading ur headcanons n stuff abt ur oc it's so sick that ppl r so interested in my au it makes me so happy ^w^!!!!! Ooh good luck w ur tests !!! BTW so sorry about how late I responded to this, I've been really busy with midterm (I just finished writing a 4 page paper. Someone get me outta here!!!!!) But it's spring break now so I should reply faster :))