#like it knows how to take itself seriously and give that scene the proper weight it deserves

[vaugarde]

god. still by far one of the best episodes in the series

[takerfoxx]

Okay, okay, trying to catch up on some shit. So, let's put the whole High School DXD thing to bed, because analyzing and critiquing ecchi harem schlock that swings way above its weight class is weirdly fascinating to me!

So. Season 4.

Right, let's just address the elephant in the room. The new studio, and with it, the new art style.

...

Not really a fan.

Like, I know what happened, I know why there was a switch, I know they're trying to emulate the art style of the light novels more closely. I just liked the older style better, especially when it comes to the facial expressions. It used to be so vivid and detailed. Like, one look and you'd be able to tell immediately what a character is about and what they're feeling. Now, everyone just looks kinda stone.

I will say this though. Like the style switch in Pokemon, what we lose in detail we gain in fluidity. Those fight scenes were sick, especially when they dispensed with the artillery and went for hand to hand. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Okay, art style's different, don't really care for it, but I can adjust. How's the season itself?

Again, mostly a mixed bag, which I suppose comes with each season adapting two books each. You just tend to like one kind of story over the other, and here, I definitely preferred one arc over the other.

Like, the whole hunt for Kunou's mom was...fine, I guess. Kunou's cute and I don't object to her, though the cast is getting really crowded. And I did genuinely enjoy just watching the gang get to go on vacation and have fun together.

What I didn't like was who was behind it. I'm sorry, but so far, the Khaos Brigade just isn't working for me, mainly because they keep throwing all these new names at us. Like, okay, I know Cao Cao and the rest of the Hero faction go and become their own thing later, cool, but for now, it's another gaggle of stuff that we've seen before.

And I really didn't like how this was supposedly the challenge that caused Issei to fall into despair and almost give up. Like, really? Issei? After everything else he's vanquished? This is his darkest hour?

I totally buy him needing tits to activate his hidden strength and get back into the game, though. And, okay, I've complained in the past about big, climatic battles being derailed by some cool new character just dropping into the middle of things and solving the problem. But this time I'll let it slide, because we get the OG Monkey King himself, and he's kind of awesome.

The Boob Dragon thing is pretty funny for its ridiculousness, though really? This is considered wholesome children's entertainment in the demon realm? Okay.

Kinda bummed how similar the demon realm and its inhabitants are to normal humans. Like, evil it up! You're demons! Where's your demonic class?

Okay, so the first arc was kind of eh, but the second might very well be one of my favorites so far. For one, the rating games are one of my favorite aspects of the series so far, because I love tournaments and we get to see the other characters shine a little.

Also, Sairaorg, man. What a fucking chad. Dude gets born without powers, is disinherited by his asshole father, almost loses his mom to illness, but reforms himself into a massive physical powerhouse through sheer will and training alone. Plus, he respects the hell out of Issei in a "Game recognize Game" sort of way and wants punch it out with him. Respect.

The rating game was awesome. Yes, there was a bunch of new names again, but it worked better this time and they were able to shine through action. And I laughed my ass off when Issei foiled his opponent's attempt to seduce him because he was so offended at the violation of the proper way to do a strip tease. Man really takes his ecchi seriously.

Issei and Sairaorg just punching the shit out of each other was so goddamned anime. They keep getting more and more power ups, keep giving these heroic speeches, and you kind of want them both to win. In the end, Sairaorg still fighting on despite having passed out long ago through sheer determination alone? Magnificent.

Okay, I'm going to say it. I like Sairaorg as a rival way more than Vali.

Oh, sweet! Ravel's here! I like her. And she and Koneko are immediately petty toward one another, as it should be.

[a-froger-epic]

What are your top 5 favorite angst moments in fics by other people

Thanks for resending the ask! The original one seems to be stuck in Tumblr limbo.

This was so hard. I literally just spent 45min going through my bookmarks and I could point you to some people's entire fic catalogues or entire fics without being able to pic a single scene in particular because they have so much delicious angst. (Yeah, I'm looking at you @aboutnothingness and @freddieofhearts and @i-lay-my-life-before-queen's Omegaverse Froger, or also @immistermercury's Jimercury ballet!Freddie epic and really several oneshots by some of my favourite authors in their entirety.)

But. I had to choose. So here are, in no particular order, some scenes:

---

Princes of the Universe by @tikiniki

Sci-fi AU. John saves Prince Freddie's life. 😰

Then, through the screams and gunfire, John heard Roger’s voice.

“John, Freddie! Watch out!”

And John spun around, just in time to see Roger throw himself towards Kassius, Kassius who had his gun raised and aimed at Freddie’s back.

His breath caught in John’s chest. Roger wouldn’t be fast enough.

He wasn’t.

The release of the bullet from Kassius’s gun disappeared in the rest of the noise. John acted on instinct.

He was barely conscious of moving at all. He barely noticed shoving Freddie to the side as hard as he could. He didn’t hear the surprised outcry leaving Freddie’s mouth.

But he felt it. Felt when the bullet pierced his chest.

The force of the bullet made him stumble back. He tried to draw a breath, tried to make a sound, but all was white-hot pain. The next second the guards were upon them. John was shoved in the chaos, his knees buckling beneath his weight.

Unable to catch himself, he fell over the edge of the pool.

Just before he breached the surface, he heard it.

The sound of voices crying out his name.

He smiled as he hit the water.

---

Aftercare by @bisexualroger

Freddie got mugged. 🥺

There’s an alien quality to the mirror, despite the fact that Freddie uses it every day and has done for months now. Perhaps it’s not the object itself that’s unfamiliar, but rather what it’s reflecting, the offending image subsequently contaminating the rest of the room with its strangeness. Lucky for him though; if the face in front of him registered as his own it might be too much for him to handle. Today’s been difficult enough without having to fully acknowledge the physical consequences of his earlier misfortune.

Freddie leans closer to the glass. The sight makes his lip tremble and his hands shake, but he swallows down his distress and reminds himself to view it objectively. It’s not his face, just a problem that needs to be fixed.

Taking another deep breath he tries again to go in with the cotton wool pad. Slippery with alcohol the cheap fabric desperately wants to slide out of his hand, but he keeps his grip steady as he brings it to his face. Immediately though the burning sting has him wincing. He tries to hold his nerve but the pain only intensifies, making his eyes prickle so he can no longer see what he’s doing. With a stifled cry of frustration he tosses the wool down into the sink and slides to the floor.

Once there his first instinct is to curl in on himself, but the pain in his ribs prevents him from doing so, which only makes matters worse. He’s been at this for fifteen bloody minutes, and much as he wants to shout and rage at the unfairness of it all his anger is infuriatingly manifesting itself through tears rather than determination. For goodness sake all he wants to do is have a hot shower and forget the entirety of this awful day, but he can’t until he’s dealt with this. It’s so agonisingly unjust.

---

The Path of Nevermore by @plainxte

Things are complicated. *sings* Give me one night only, one night only... 😭

"Yeah. I should probably head out," Roger said, looking around him. He was sure there was somewhere that he had promised to be that day.

"Please, Rog," Freddie said. "Don't go. Don't leave me alone. I mean. Don't send me to the path," Freddie said.

Roger turned to him with a smile. It quickly faded when he studied the look on Freddie's face: he was completely serious, and there was no hint of amusement in his eyes. He meant it, Roger realised. When Freddie said nothing more, just continued to look at him, it finally hit him what Freddie was saying. The seriousness of what he was asking.

"Of course I won't leave you," Roger whispered. "You know that. I wouldn't. But you know I can't, I can't – "

Freddie carefully lifted one hand, putting it hesitantly on his cheek, only just touching. His fingertips ghosted over Roger's cheekbone. "I know," he said. "And that's not what I meant. And I can't, either. But just for now. Please don't go. Please."

Roger took a breath. His thoughts were getting no clearer; if anything, his whole head seemed to be in a fog. He wasn't thinking; he couldn't think. He could only nod. Freddie leaned closer, and Roger closed his eyes. After what seemed like an age, he felt soft lips touch his. He reached up his own hand to Freddie's face, skimming over his jaw to come to a rest in his hair.

"And about time, too," he breathed.

---

Sobering Up by... oh whoops, it seems their tumblr was deleted or changed names. Well, nevermind, I still love this fic so much.

Roger and Freddie don't know how to deal. 💔

They lie there afterwards, stewing in a pregnant silence. Normally, sex put Roger right to sleep but this… he was unable to wrap his head around any of it.

He rolled over to lie on his stomach away from Freddie. He took a pillow and clenched it tightly in his arms, pressing his face deeply into it. Some animal instinct was telling him if he squeezed hard enough then the painful sickening swirl of emotions in his chest might ebb away.

Freddie softly cleared his throat. “Rog,”

“Hm?” Roger feigned sleepiness. He didn’t feel like having any kind of pillow talk.

“What…” Freddie faltered. “What do you think the future has in store for us?” Roger felt his heart seize up.

“What’d you mean ‘us’?” His voice was muffled in his pillow, but it didn’t mask the cracking on the last syllable. He heard Freddie make a sharp intake of breath.

“Queen.” He said. “What do you think we’ll be like in the future? D’you think we’ll make it?”

Roger was quiet at first. Freddie wasn’t the type to avoid the elephant in the room like this.

“Dunno,” Roger sighed, still clinging tightly to his pillow. “But I won’t stick around if there are better places to be.”

“Are there better places to be?” Freddie’s feigned curiosity did nothing to hide the anxiety in his voice. And it dawned on Roger that they weren’t going to talk about the sex. They were never going to talk about it. It had happened and that was all. It was too big, much too big, for either of them to face. This was Freddie’s way of asking if Roger was okay with that.

Roger didn’t exactly feel relief at this revelation. Somehow he felt like he had given Freddie a much more intimate part of himself than he had given any other partner. And the seriousness of that weighed heavily on him. Nothing would be the same for him again. But it had to be.

---

On the side of a hill, a sprinkling of leaves by @quirkysubject

Freddie falls in a puddle and can't get up (also this scene is way too long to quote all of it, but like THIS WHOLE SCENE MAN 😭💕)

“Jesus, Fred, are you alright?” Hands are on his back, his shoulders, trying to urge him up. Oh, how Freddie wishes Roger would just leave him alone (liar, the warm and tiny and inextinguishable gleam of hope inside him whispers).

“Fine,” he mumbles as he lies face down in the mud, waiting, praying for the earth to swallow him up.

“Freddie, come on, get up.” The hands tug a little harder. And then, when Freddie just shakes his head, Roger’s hands slide under his armpits, and he is hauled upright with a frustrated, “What the hell’s the matter with you?”

It’s this that does it. All ability to contain himself evaporates.

“I hate this so much!”

The words explode out of him. He can hear how his voice sounds, shrill, pathetic, whiny. Useless. But he can’t stop himself. “I hate everything about this. My ankle hurts and my arm hurts and I want proper tea with milk, and a bath, and my bed, and Tom and Jerry, and a slice of toast that is actually toasted and I… I just want to go home.”

It’s a small mercy that he can blame any wetness on his cheeks on the rain. Not that it will do him much good. He is throwing a tantrum at the worst possible moment, and Roger is going to do what he always does when Freddie is being unreasonable - walk out, have a smoke, come back an hour or two later when the storm has blown over.

Only if he leaves now, Freddie will melt into the ground and never come up again.

---

A special mention goes to a Doctor Who fic which is probably my favourite angsty fic of all time, because even though I'm not active in the Who fandom right now, I'm still Doctor/Master trash. And Locked in Orbit by @nicolauda (I think this is yours? Correct me if wrong) is one of the best goddamn pieces of writing with that ship that exist for me.

[akinnie75]

White Hibernation

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Word Count: 31k...lol

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Extreme Slow Burn, Fantasy

Summary: The tale of the Winter Bear is about a grizzly bear that’s the only bear in the entire world who doesn’t hibernate during winter. He’s considered strong for being able to fight sleep. However, being the only bear awake during winter gets lonely. So during every winter, he makes friends with children and takes their soul to be with him forever. And somewhere down the line, you get involved into the fable.

“Are you fucking kidding me, (Y/N)?!”

Your agent, Lee Suniya, screams from the top of her lungs on the other side of the call. You keep your phone at a safe distance from your ears. You sigh exasperatedly, standing in the center of the living of your cramped, one-bedroom apartment.

Despite Suniya’s aggressive scolding, you only focus on your apartment. It’s early in the morning, never realizing how blue your apartment is. It isn’t necessarily a bold blue, more so a faint blue, naturally peeking through your blinds due to the sunrise barely at its peak. All of your furniture—couch, coffee table, vase, lamp—is white, so it only makes the baby blue stand out more.

Maybe I should change my place up a little, you think to yourself.

However, your plans for redecorating your place are disrupted by the continuous rampage coming from Suniya. Her anger only worsens your annoyance toward her. “Did you not hear a single thing I said?! Is your head empty??”

“No, can you repeat everything?”

Suniya groans frustratedly then goes silent for a few seconds before returning. “Never mind. Did you at least look online?”

Your eyes move down to your laptop that’s sitting by the edge of the white, pristine coffee table. It’s on, and it’s an article called: ‘Winter Bear’: Profiting off of a Child’s Innocence. Underneath the title is the author, (Y/N), (L/N).

“Yea, just a few minutes ago.”

“So. You knew not to write that. But why did you go ahead and do it anyway?” Suniya tries very hard not to grind her teeth, but you can clearly hear it.

You take a seat on the couch right across from your laptop. You set your phone down, putting it on speaker as you scroll through the multitudes of angry comments. There are some that catch your eye, such as ‘How could you write garbage about my daughter’s favorite movie?’, ‘You didn’t even watch the movie so your opinion is fucking pointless without proper research’, and another one being, ‘Go die in a shithole, you fucking mood-killer’.

You’ve always heard about internet figures getting a lot of online flak these days, but your article exploded out of nowhere that you haven’t gotten the time to process the negative comments. Even your email is spammed with anonymous accounts calling you degrading terms.

But another reason why it doesn’t impact you as much as it should is because it was somewhat expected. Winter Bear is a beloved, rated-PG movie that people of all ages should enjoy, but your article made it very apparent that you detest it.

“Yea, I knew not to write it, but what’s the point of me making it my career as a writer when I can’t even share my own opinions?”

“You—” But before your agent can lash out any further, she catches herself. “You’re not a writer, you’re a journalist. Writers create from inspiration, journalists rephrase what they see. Are you seriously trying to give the publication a bad rep?”

“You’re not getting the point of the article. No one is. It’s a cash-grabbing movie using a dangerous folklore—”

“I get it, I get it. But where I’m coming from is that the publishing company has no time to be dealing with a bad image at this moment. They were just getting recognized, and you just had to blow it off like that.”

“That wasn’t my intention. Look, why are people even getting pissed off over one person’s opinion? They don’t have to read my shit if they don’t want to and go enjoy their half-assed children’s movie.”

It’s at this point where Suniya has completely given up on arguing with you. Both you and Suniya are stubborn to the core, and this is how you two clash often.

“It isn’t just about a bad public image for the company, but for you. You’ll have a hard time signing deals and publishing more articles.”

That comment was like a prick to your skin. There was something about that that ticked you off, more than what the internet is saying about you.

“What the hell is wrong with me sharing my thoughts? If these faceless assholes are allowed to leave comments on my article, then I can say and do whatever too!”

“(Y/N), calm down! Why are you getting upset?! Listen to me when I say this: I know where you’re coming from. I know that movie is a sensitive topic for you, but that still doesn’t mean that you should—”

“Don’t bring it up.”

The line goes silent for a while before she returns. “Alright, fine. On the bright side, this seems like a short-term consequence, so the most we can do is wait for this to die down. I gotta go, I’ll call you later.”

She hangs up, and you get the urge to throw your phone across the room. However, you don’t have the kind of money to break your phone and get a new one, so instead, you throw it against the couch pillow. It’s irritating when nobody understands you. If the general public weren’t sheeples, then it would be easier for you to explain your side. Not even Suniya truly knows where you’re coming from.

You go back to your laptop, your article receiving new comments by the second. You want to respond to them and tell them to go to hell. There are more controversial topics out there in the world, so why go to your article and attack you? You’ve already caused enough trouble for your agent, so it’s better to leave it alone.

You lay down on your couch when a sudden chill runs up your spine. You check the temperature on your phone, and it’s been getting colder lately with winter getting closer.  What sort of first-world struggles are those angry commentators going through to give them the right to downgrade you?

Regret begins to play with your head, suggesting that you should call Suniya back and apologize to her for exploding. You turn on your phone, seeing four contacts on your phone: your parents, Suniya, and your publication site’s office number. You press on Suniya’s number, letting the line ring before directing to voicemail.

With a sigh of disappointment, you get off of the couch with that feeling of regret going to eat you up for the rest of the day. You try to forget about it, pushing your mind to think about something else than to focus heavily on it. You repeat to yourself over and over that you need to eat breakfast.

You look through the fridge that’s filled with only microwavable food, some vegetables, soda, and that one vegan mandarin chicken pack that you promised to eat when you were still dieting. On the bottom shelf is leftover pizza from last night. You close the fridge then rummage through the white-painted cabinets. You hand maneuvers around the canned corn and beans, packaged dry pad-thai noodles, and shoving the Maruchan cup noodles away. You grab the rainbow, fruit-flavored cereal box, opening the top to check if there’s still some. You pop one into your mouth to check if it’s still in edible condition. Although a bit stale, you can eat it.

You couldn’t decide whether or not you wanted to eat leftover dinner or cereal for breakfast, so you ended up picking both. Rushing back to the fridge, you take out a slice of cold pizza and the half-gallon of milk, putting the pizza on a plate and into the microwave. It’s not the healthiest meal, but you’re not in the mood to be thinking about your weight.

As it warms up, you grab the remote from the living room, turning on the TV. You skip through channels with the press of a button until you get to a decent enough channel that’s playing a rerun of a sitcom show. It’s about a group of poor college graduates struggling to live in New York.

Your attention is taken away by your microwave beeping when it’s done reheating your pizza. You poke the pizza to make sure that the cheese has melted, then you take a bite of it. It doesn’t taste as fresh as when you first got it, but it still tastes savory.

“This...is...awesome!” A child’s voice shouts from the TV.

Dramatic drums and high-pitched violins play after the show goes on a commercial break. You turn around to see a trailer of a kids’ movie.

“Who...are you?” the child continues.

Each scene of the trailers lasts for a few seconds to keep the viewers’ short attention span engaged. On the screen is a young child who seems to be around eight or nine years old in a snowy forest. The child is on its knees, face-to-face with a shadowy monster before displaying itself as a fun, lovable grizzly bear licking the child’s face.

“I have to return home. Can you help me?”

“Come with us...on an epic journey,” A narrator voices over. “Filled with fun...”

The child and bear jump over rocks as they laugh.

“Adventure…”

The pair find an entirely undiscovered part of the forest, though it’s just a more expanded version of the same setting that it takes place in, just brighter lighting and more sunlight.

“And friendship.”

The next scene is when the child and the bear are cuddling together late at night to keep each other warm from the freezing temperature.

“Bears are supposed to be sleeping during winter, but you’re not,” the child ponders. “But...I’m glad that you’re awake. I don’t feel so lonely anymore.”

“Critics say ‘it’s tender’...‘entertaining’...‘everything my child has always wanted in a movie’.” The narrator continues as five yellow stars would be slapped onto a frame of an overview of the forest. “Winter Bear. Coming soon on December 20th.”

The next thing you know, you throw the pizza at the screen out of impulsive anger. The tomato sauce splatters all over the carpet, TV, and some on the coffee table. It instantly slips off the TV, landing and staining the carpet more. It felt good at that moment to lash out on the movie trailer, but not anymore after seeing the mess that you created. But once rational thinking sets in, you’re frustrated with yourself for what you’ve done. You hurriedly look for wipes then run to the TV to clean it.

As you wipe with tenacity, some uninvited memories seep in. You go back to when you were a child, holding the hand of a child whose face you can’t see, or at least, don’t want to see. The environment that surrounds you is a white forest, silence freezing every noise possible, just you and the person standing side-by-side.

You rest your forehead on the sauce-stained TV, sighing heavily as you try to forget what happened long ago. You turn to the fallen pizza, glaring at it with disdain as the red, bloody sauce soaks into what was once a white carpet that blended into the blue morning.

“He doesn’t help kids...he steals them.”

———

“Jesus Christ, (Y/N), you really need to start eating healthier food. Look at your stomach, I’m beginning to see a muffin top.” Suniya jokes as she playfully hits your stomach with a pepperoni sausage.

Suniya is walking ahead of you as you push the shopping cart. She decided to tag along with you to go grocery shopping, implying that this get-together is to make up for the argument that unfolded days prior to this.

“I would eat better if the healthier options were cheaper and tasted better.”

“Hey, there are healthy foods that are cheap too, you know. You just choose not to eat it. Plus, you’re not a kid anymore. Suck it up and eat gross shit for the sake of being in shape,” This is ironic coming from Suniya, since she isn’t in the best shape either. “Maybe you should get a gym membership and start working out. Who knows, maybe you’ll start attracting people.”

“Mm-hmm,” You faintly listen to her as you’re trying to decide on which graham cracker brand you want to buy. “Oh yea, which pizza brand do you think has the least amount of tomato sauce?”

Suniya sulks, a little annoyed that you aren’t listening to her, but this is typical for you to be like that with her. “I dunno. Figure it out yourself. Why?”

“Eh,” you shrug your shoulders. “The sauce is the messiest part of the pizza. Do you think I should start eating hot pockets?”

She raises an eyebrow at you. “I don’t fucking know. Pick both if it makes it easier.”

“No, but pizza is messy. I wanna know if hot pockets are not as messy with the sauce.”

“Why does it matter? Just use a napkin or don’t eat like a toddler!”

“...I’ll go with hot pockets.”

You push the cart ahead of Suniya as she stares at you with a look of disbelief. No matter how long you two have known each other, she will never understand how your brain is wired. She shakes her head, shrugging it off as one of your unusual habits again.

“By the way, your mother called me. She said you weren’t picking up the phone and she wanted to know if you’re doing alright.”

“I’m fine.”

“...Why don’t you just call her back and tell her that?”

“I have you to pass on my message.”

“You know…” her tone deepens. “Your mom wants to talk to you directly. She wants to know how you’re doing in your voice.”

“What difference will it make? She’ll just pretend that she’s worried about me but all she’s gonna do is yell at how I can’t take care of myself and I need a new job.”

She sighs. “But she’s still your mom. You can’t forget that she raised you.”

“I’ll call her later. I have some more articles to write and I don’t need the distraction.”

But she knew that you meant never, you just wanted to end the conversation. She looks through the aisles, clearly frustrated with your lack of keeping a conversation going.

“You know, you shouldn’t worry about work so much.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s all you ever think about. Don’t you have anything else that you’re passionate about? Like, I dunno, making friends, going out, finding a boyfriend?”

“Not really. I haven’t put much thought into any of those. They’re a waste of time and money.”

“(Y/N),” she puts her hand to her hips. “Your isolation is only going to drive you even more insane. You won’t have anyone to rely on, and you’re just going to be miserable.”

A vein protrudes from your forehead, but your expression remains stagnant. “But I have you, don’t I?”

She rolls her eyes. “You can’t just rely on me. I have a family to take care of. And you should also.”

Even though you behave as if you’re ignoring her, her words bleed into your brain. You know too well that you’re getting closer to the age of settling into a life of family-hood, but it isn’t Suniya who decides what you have to do with your life. Still, what she says makes your chest ache, the desire to deny her claims of your spiral to insanity, all the while being completely aware of her concerns.

Suniya’s phone rings, so she takes it out from her purse to see an unknown number on her screen. She accepts the call, putting it to her ear.

“Hello?”

A feminine voice can be heard from the other line. Other than a ‘hi’, you can’t make what she’s saying, and Suniya’s lack of expression doesn’t help either.

“Uhm...yes. She is with me.”

An eyebrow raises, your curiosity peaking. You stare at her, squinting your eyes. She does look at you, but she doesn’t say anything to fill in the blanks.

“Sure.”

She hands the phone to you. You’re confused, looking at the phone and wondering what to do with it. She nudges it to you, so you take it.

“Hello?”

“Hello? Is this (Y/N)?”

“Yes, who is this?”

“Hi, my name is Kim, and I’m calling because I read your article the other day.”

Assuming that this is an angry reader, you’re about to hang up the phone when Suniya raises her hands up, signaling for you not to. You silently sigh, putting the phone back to your ear.

“You did?”

“I did! And I absolutely loved it!”

“Oh, really?” But it takes a few seconds for you to let that sink in. “Wait, really??”

“Yes! I reread it hundreds of times, and everything you said accurately portrays exactly how I feel about the movie as well.”

You glance at Suniya, and she smiles, nodding to let you know that this isn’t a prank. You’re at a loss of words that there’s someone who genuinely enjoyed your article. No one’s ever reached out to give you compliments, so you don’t know what to say.

“Uhm, thank you.”

“It’s no big deal. I saw the feedback you received, and it seems like not a lot of people liked it. You see, I’m a mythologist. I study extensively on the Winter Bear folklore. Based on the information on your publication’s website, it doesn’t seem like you know anything about it, but you nailed every detail of the myth precisely.”

“...Yea.”

“What I wanted to talk about is that I would like you to help me with my research on the Winter Bear.”

You crease your eyebrows. “...Excuse me?”

“You see, even though I study myth, I have a strong feeling that this isn’t some mere local folklore. You seem to know a lot about it, and I would like to get to know you more. Perhaps even go to the town to investigate more about it.”

“No.” You’re about to hang up again.

“Wait, wait, wait!”

You give her a third chance, putting the phone back to your ear.

“I can compensate for your help in return! We can help each other. I’m trying to write a book and get it published before the Winter Bear movie comes out. I want to expose the real story behind, not the watered-down, kiddy version of it.”

She piques your interest. “Go on.”

“In return, I’ll help back up your article, I’ll even reference and credit you for aiding me in the research. As long as we’re able to complete the book before the release of the movie, then it’s going to be a hit. Imagine all the clicks you’re going to get in your article after my book is published. You’ll definitely make more than you can ever imagine with any ordinary article.”

“I’ve already received enough criticism as it is with just the trailer. How is a full-length movie and your book going to benefit me?”

“It’s going to be a bit...greedy of me to say, but you aren’t paid by the number of nice comments you get. You get it by how many people click on your online articles. If you ignore the negative comments, didn’t you notice that your pay got relatively higher than normal?”

As much as you don’t want to admit it, it’s true. “Yes.”

“That’s what I’m saying! That’s why we gotta get this finished before the movie. What do you say?”

You fall silent, and it makes Kim think that you actually hung up this time. Talking about the town where the tale of the Winter Bear brings up the memories again. You remember looking down at your small hands, pressing it on the snow as you knelt down. The stiffness in your hands from the cold perfectly describes how you’re feeling right now. It’s strange, when you look back to the time when you were there during winter, it was dead silent.

Your numb hands, stuck in the unforgiving snow, not a sound to comfort you in this recycling memory. It’s strange, it’s only your hands that are cold, not your knees, not your face, nothing. Are you ready to go to that place that you tried so hard to forget? Can you unveil those childhood memories?

You recall that toddler. It was only a split second, but every detail of her is vivid. That baby blue-striped dress, wearing a pink parka over it. Her tiny brown boots treading through the snow, being matted by the pure white. She turns around, and she resembles you a lot.. Her nose red and runny, yet the brimming smile on her face is the only sunlight of that gray memory. The silence is filled with her childish laughter that’s devoid of flaws, as she had yet to be tainted by the world.

“Annie.” Your past-self calls her.

“I’ll do it.”

“That’s great! Then I’ll send you an email and we can set up a day to go to the town. I look forward to working with you in the near future.”

“Yea.”

She hangs up.

“So, what did she say?”

“She wants to work with me.”

“Really?? That’s great! So, how is it going to work out?”

You aren’t entirely sure. You agreed to it on a whim without putting much thought on the consequences. Now you’re a little regretful for saying yes, especially since you don’t want anything to do with it, but since you dedicated an entire article on it, it must mean that a part of you wants to return. You don’t know how your brain works sometimes, like you go into autopilot and another force makes the decisions for you.

“We’re going to the town where that movie took inspiration from, Little Bare.”

———

At the bustling train station, Suniya helps push you through the tight crowd. You keep looking down at your phone, squinting at a picture that Kim took of herself. You’ve never met her in person and most of your conversations with her took place through phone calls and text messages. This will be the first time you’ll see her in person.

“Why the hell is the station so busy on a Tuesday?!” Suniya whines.

Standing right under the ‘Station E’ sign is Kim. She’s a lot shorter than you thought, standing at approximately 4’10”. Her black-framed glasses and messy bun along with her back slouching really gives the impression that she spends a lot of time sitting down, probably reading or researching, and you’re not far from your assumption. She’s focused on writing in her notebook, not paying attention to her surroundings whatsoever, not even caring when a salaryman bumped into her.

“Excuse me, are you Kim?”

She looks up and immediately closes her book. “Hello! You’re (Y/N), right?”

You nod.

She extends her hand out for a handshake, and you take it, taking notice of how sweaty they are. “It’s nice to finally meet you! Is that your agent?”

“Hello, I’m Suniya. We spoke on the phone before.”

“Right, I remember. It’s nice to meet you, too.”

Suniya nods. “Yes. The train should be arriving soon, so do you mind if I talk to you for a bit, Miss Kim?”

“Sure.”

She pulls Kim aside, far enough from you. You know that she’s going to be talking about you, but you don’t pay too much attention to it.

“What is it that you need to talk to me about privately?”

“It’s about (Y/N).”

“Hm? What about her?”

Suniya looks at you, seeing as you’re looking down at your phone. “You see…since I’m not coming on this trip with you guys, can I request you to take care of her?”

Kim is a little taken aback, as you seemed like a fully grown adult who is capable of taking care of yourself. “Sure…”

“You see...she’s a bit...disconnected.”

She wrinkles her eyebrows. “What do you mean by that?”

“It’s hard to explain, but I think she has selective memory loss. She experienced some trauma that still affects her today—so much that she tends to block anything that stresses her out too much because that’s how she’s always dealt with her problems. So if she’s spacing out, then that’s why.”

From the distance, you blend well with the crowd, no different than a modern citizen focused on her phone. You don’t look lost—you look so sure of yourself like nothing disturbs you. Your outward appearance doesn’t make you sound like the description that Suniya gave.

“Selective as in, she can willingly forget things?”

She nods. “I don’t know what happened, but whatever she went through as a child, it must’ve been that bad that she doesn’t have any recollection of it. I don’t mean to scare you, but if she behaves abnormally, don’t be afraid to call me.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take good care of her. If I feel comfortable working with her, then I would’ve long since canceled our plans.” She smiles.

Still, Suniya is unsure. It feels wrong, talking about you in this way.

———

On the train, you and Kim are sitting across from each other. The slight bumps create a rhythmic sound as the train speeds to your destination, and there is a lack of conversation from other passengers with the only voice being the overhead of an automated woman alerting the passengers of their next stops. You sit by the window, watching the bushes pass by faster than the mountains from a distance. Kim is on her laptop, typing at the speed of light.

“I might be prying a bit too much, but there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask.”

“Hm?”

“Have you been to Little Bare before?”

You don’t respond—you don’t even look at her.

“Sorry, I stepped over the line. I was just curious because you seem to have more information than your typical person—”

“Yea, I went there once.”

She wasn’t expecting you to answer, so she stutters with her next line of words.

“My family and I went on a road trip during winter break. We got stuck in a blizzard and stayed at the inn there until it died down.”

“Oh, that’s very interesting!” She puts it down in her notebook. “Do you remember what you did there?”

“...Not really.” You lie.

“Oh…” She clears her throat to get rid of the uncomfortable atmosphere she created. “Well...it’s a good thing we’re going back. It’ll help you regain those memories again.”

“How did you know that I went there before?”

“I just assumed because you seem to know a little more about that folklore, not the watered-down version of it.”

“Yea.”

After that, neither of you say anything. This must be what Suniya was saying when she said that you don’t look like you’re paying attention, or you’re distracted by something else. She keeps herself busy by going back to her notebook.

———

At Little Bare, you and Kim exit the train. The wind blows against your hair, giving you the chills. You put your hands in your pocket while you stare at the town that haunts you. Every building is made out of wood, and the newer ones are built from bricks. The town is so small that you can see where it ends from the other side.

“It’s so cold! It’s supposed to have its first snow tonight, so it makes sense. But holy crap...I already can’t stand it.”

The train leaves, leaving you and Kim in a town nearly desolated. It lacks human contact, not a single person in sight. And there it is again—the dead silence. It was there before, and it hasn’t left. You wouldn’t describe it as nostalgia, but a boogeyman welcoming you back to your nightmare.

“Where do we even go?”

“I think down here.”

You walk down the staircase, hearing dead leaves being crushed beneath your feet. You enter through the main entrance of the town with a tall sign towering over you and Kim that reads: ‘Welcome to Little Bare’. You inspect the town, and the buildings made out of wood have turned dark brown after soaking in morning fog and rain. Resting your hand on the walls seems like it’s enough to give you splinters. It isn’t only the buildings that show after-signs of rain, but the streets as well. There are wet patches in the street, giving off the strong scent of wet black tar.

“Is...this the right place? It looks like a ghost town.”

You shake your head. “It’s exactly the same as I remembered.”

The general store is still there the last time you were here, one of the first buildings you’ll see when you enter this place. Directly across the street is the bar, just as empty as it was in the past during the day. The only difference is that everything has aged dramatically, those twenty years taking a  toll on the town.

“Where is everybody?”

You shrug your shoulders.

“There’s no reception here because of the high elevation, so I can’t pull up a map. There’s no physical map of this place either.”

You and Kim creep into the town more, with her peeking through the large glass windows of the general store. Her eyes light up when she sees someone standing by the front cash register. An elderly man, sitting on a chair with his back slouched, reading a newspaper.

“Oh, there’s somebody there,” you point at the man. “Let’s ask them for directions.”

You both move closer to the store, and once you’re close enough, the old man notices you two. When making eye contact with you two, Kim waves her hand as a means of greeting him. Rather than returning the greeting, the elderly man grabs a broomstick and walks out of the store, raising the broom over his head and jogging right toward you two.

“Get the hell outta here before I beat your asses myself!”

You and Kim step back, raising your hands to defend yourselves. She grabs onto your arm, and you cling onto her sleeve.

“Wait, wait, wait!” She shouts. “We’re just tourists!”

“I said get outta here! We don’t need no city people here to take what’s ours!”

“We’re not here to take anything!!”

“I said get out!!”

“What’s going on?!” An overweight woman runs out of the room. “Honey! What the fucking shit are you doing?!”

The man stops and turns around, seeing his wife marching after him. She slaps him on the back multiple times, so much that he drops the broom and waves his hands as a means of protection. After hitting him until he’s tame, the woman turns to you and Kim.

“I’m so sorry for my husband. We just had some unwanted guests come by a few days ago givin’ us some papers to sign thinkin’ we can’t read shit, so we’re all on guard,” she puts her hands to her hips. “The name’s Margaret, and this brainless man is Gerald. So, what brings two beautiful, young women here?”

You two look at each other, then back at the woman.

“Uhm..My name’s Kim. We’re here to research the myth of the Winter Bear.”

Upon bringing up the name, Margaret’s smile disappears. “Oh god...you really are just like them. So then, you girls better give me one good reason to welcome you guys in. Otherwise, I’m gonna have to kick your asses outta here.”

And just like that, someone who you two thought was civilized quickly turns sour. Knowing the amount of pain that she can enforce, you and Kim are faced with a ticking time bomb. Kim desperately flips through her notebooks, seeing if she can show any of her records to impress her.

“Uhm...wait, please, Mrs. Margaret! We don’t know who you’re talking about, but w-we have no intention of hurting anyone. I-if you look at my notes, you can tell that I’m genuinely interested in writing about this myth! Y-you see, I’m an author, and Miss (Y/N) is a journalist. We’re working together!”

But this doesn’t convince Margaret at all. She glares at you two, picking up the broom Gerald dropped. Kim freaks out more, seeing if she can find anything to offer.

“We have money! We can pay for anything!!”

That doesn’t work either. For a writer, she does a poor job of persuading. You try to think of anything to support Kim. You look around, biting your nail as sweat begins to form. You hate this—being put on the spot to problem-solve. It makes you dizzy, making you want to escape as soon as possible.

You squeeze your eyes shut, thinking of the first thing that comes to mind. “I’ve been here before!”

Margaret stares at you, raising an eyebrow. You got her attention, so you take this chance to breathe.

“I came here during winter...when I was a child.”

The fury burning underneath Margaret’s eyes turns into sympathy. She lowers the broomstick, tears forming in her eyes as if she reunited with a long lost relative. To your surprise, she wraps her arms around you, catching both you and Kim off guard.

“You poor girl.”

Kim is absolutely confused. She looks at you in hopes of getting an explanation, but your expression is blank. You’re overwhelmed with multiple emotions, coming all together at once unsure of how to express them at once. It’s like when all colors come together to make white. The only thing you can do is hug her back.

———

On the second floor of the general store, you and Kim are sitting in their almost run-down kitchen. The flowery wallpapers are peeling, brown and yellow stains running down until it hits the dusty floorboards, and age-old grease stains and black food chunks occupying the stove. There’s also a gigantic hole in the ceiling.

Margaret sets down a tray of hot chamomile tea on the table. “Sorry for our shitty first impression. Things have just been so heated lately that we’re stressed out of our minds.”

You and Kim take a cup, blowing it before drinking, but Kim drinks it without issue. You want to rest your arms on the table, but it’s so sticky that it makes you quiver just thinking about the last time it was ever cleaned.

“It’s okay! From the looks of it, you guys went through a lot,” Kim replies in an optimistic tone. “What happened?”

Margaret grabs a nearby chair and sits down, placing her elbow on the table without hesitation and running her hand through her gray, curly hair. “We got these big companies, Dismaland or whatever the fuck their name is, demanding that we turn our town into a tourist attraction for a  movie they’re making. You know, those family-friendly kinds. I dunno much ‘bout it since the mayor is the one who spoke to them, but we turned it down. Since then, they’ve been harassing us to sign their papers, so every young-lookin’ person dressed almost like you guys, we try kicking them out.”

You never realized how bad it’s gotten here. It was just as hostile as you remember in your memories, but a little worse since your parents were there to defend you.

“I swear to God, we’re nice people, but we gotta put up our guard if those bastards keep on coming back,” she sighs heavily. “But to be brutally honest, I really do think we need the money. As you can tell, our place is a shithole, and those big guys are willing to give us a small portion of the money.”

“But it isn’t really about the money, is it?” You ask.

She doesn’t respond immediately. Rather, she nods.

“You’re damn right. Those corporations don’t realize that they’re creating the biggest graveyard in history.”

Kim’s eyes widen, covering her mouth as she stares at you and Margaret. “No way...you mean to tell me…”

Margaret nods again. “This ‘Winter Bear’ ain’t no fable. It’s real.”

Kim places her hands flat on the tables. “Kids actually go missing?! I knew it! Everything was just too suspicious to be simply a story.”

“Yea, so even if we need the money to keep the town going, we ain’t gonna risk some kids’ lives for it.”

“Wait,” Kim pauses. “So then...if the disappearances of children are real, then what’s the actual cause of it? Don’t tell me it’s actually a bear.”

She shakes her head. “We don’t know either. All we know is that once the kids go into the forest, they don’t come back.”

Margaret glances at you, but you avoid her gaze. You act as if you have nothing to do with the conversation, sipping the tea.

“But that doesn’t make sense. Bears hibernate during winter and these disappearances happen around this time. Wouldn’t it make more sense that it’s some other animal or a person? Not a bear. And only winter?” Kim scratches her head.

“Not to sound like a smartass, but bears actually don’t hibernate.”

“What?? Really?”

“They sleep longer during the winter to save energy, but they wake up in case of danger or hunger. It is possible that you can still encounter a bear.”

“So then...do you think it’s possible that bears eat the children due to the lack of food?”

Margaret shrugs her shoulders. “That could be it, but let me ask you this: wouldn’t you think a bear would leave traces of the child? Clothes? Blood? Something? They disappear into thin air, almost like they never existed.”

This sends chills down Kim’s spine. She’s heard of this many times, but hearing it from an actual resident who has lived through children going missing is terrifying...but also intriguing.

“That means that we have to check the forest! Wait, Miss (Y/N), you said that you came here before. If kids go missing, then how did you survive?”

You stare at the wall, noticing how particularly yellow it is. Judging by how dirty the place is, it makes you wonder if the wallpaper was white but got stale as time went by. You’ve been very quiet, not bothering to put your input, and this concerns Margaret. She knew that Kim was stepping over her boundaries.

“...(Y/N)?” Kim asks. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yea, I’m fine.”

“After your tea, I can show you young ladies where to go for the inn.”

Kim doesn’t read the atmosphere, not seeing how uncomfortable you’ve become. You clench onto the teacup, pinching the handle with all your might. You were confident when the thought of coming here sprung up, but being physically here is more demanding than you could’ve ever imagined.

———

Some time has gone by since the visit to Margaret’s place. She showed you two around the place, introducing you to some of the residents. Some of them you remember, but others you don’t. They don’t recognize you either, and Margaret is kind enough not to share your name with them. Once she’s finished showing you two around town, she eventually leads you two to the inn.

In the room, Kim is taking a shower while you sit by the edge of your bed. Despite struggling to find reception, the inn miraculously has some, although a bit slow. You have over fifty text messages from only two people—Suniya and your mother. Both of their messages are asking how you and Kim are doing. However, you turn off your phone, sighing as you toss it aside. You lay on your back, staring at the ceiling fan blanketed with dust. The fan itself looks like it’ll fall any second, seeing as it shakes even from the lightest movement.

You were naive to think that your problems will be solved if you stepped into Little Bare again. It’s more complicated than you expected, and now you want out. However, you’ve already promised to work with Kim; you can’t break the deal. You wish Suniya was here to yell at you, to tell you that you’ve made a dumb decision. That way, it would at least sound like she cares. Even though you’ve gotten to know Kim a little more, it still feels like you’ve stranded yourself on a foreign land.

And that image of the little girl, Annie, continuously appearing every time you close your eyes. Every corner of this town reminds you of her, like a ghost haunting you. You can sense her presence in the corner of the room, purposely watching you with hollow, blackened holes for eyes. She’s standing there in her pink parka and blue-striped dress, waiting for you to make your next move.

You groan, rubbing your eyes. You apply enough pressure that your eyes are being pushed back, rubbing so fast that your skin turns red. No matter how much you try to push the thoughts away, she just keeps coming back. Just as Kim exited the room, you get off the bed, taking your jacket and heading straight to the door.

“Where are you going? You look like you’re in a rush to start a mission.”

“It’s too small in here. I need some fresh air.”

“O-oh, okay...but please stay safe! Who knows what kinds of creeps are out there.”

“I will. Thanks.” You open the door and close it behind you.

———

You walk around, hands in the pockets of your jacket. There is no wind, but the drop in temperature stiffens your muscles. Just like in the morning, no one is occupying the streets. It’s just you, alone, with your bothersome thoughts. It manifests into a black aura, clinging onto the back of your head.

You thought about heading to Margaret’s place just to get things off of your chest, but you change your mind. She never directly stated it, but she knew who you were and what you went through. It was an odd moment that she sympathized with you without knowing exactly what had happened.

A flashy neon sign catches your attention. It’s in the shape of a brown beer bottle, pouring bubbles into a glass wine. It’s the bar that’s across the street of the general store called Bar & Grill. You’re not a drinker, but when your stress gets overwhelming, you tend to be persuaded by the lust of alcohol. Wanting to get rid of this black aura looming, you make the decision to enter the bar.

———

Your head is on the counter table, your arms around it to hide your red face. The inside of the place has very few people, only a few men who just came back from work, but even these men are barely whispering a word. The bartender stands on the other side of the counter, cleaning the glass cups with a white cloth.

“Hey, Miss. Do you have someone to take you home?”

You groan.

The bartender sighs. “You’re a young woman. Do you know how easy it is to be preyed on?”

“I can...handle myself,” you raise your head up, one eye open. “I practically raised myself! What makes you think I’m irresponsi...ble? You dunno me.” You slur your words.

The bartender sets the cup down, putting her hand on her hip and leaning on the counter. She isn’t sure if your red, watery eyes are because you drank so much or if you’re becoming emotional.

“You’re one of those researchers that came here earlier today, huh? Marge told me,” she shakes her head. “Jesus Christ, you city people really don’t know the limits to drinking.”

Next to you are five empty beer cups with the foam sliding down on the sides. You snicker at how much you drank, followed by a hiccup. “Wow, you’re right. I’m usually good at self-control. I know how to control my problems, but tonight is not one of those times.”

“It’s not that you’re good at controlling your problems. You’re just good at avoiding them. Marge told me about you, and no offense, but she thinks it’s fucking strange that you don’t look like you’re bothered that your sister was taken away by that monster. But I disagree. You’re pretending like it ever happened.”

“Excuse me? Who are you to assume how I feel??”

“Our place is practically off-coordinates with maps, but we still have those runaways who come to the bar every so often. You’re no different from them. So…”

“What?”

“Do you want to talk about it?” She crosses her arms. “I won’t tell anybody. We pretend that tonight never existed.”

You rummage your hand through your messy hair, calming down. It might be the toxication persuading you, but you’re not comfortable telling her.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Oh really?”

“I don’t want to, and it’s because I don’t know how to talk about it. If I can’t even talk to my mom about it, then why the hell do you think I can tell you? When I did want to bring Annie’s disappearance up, my mom would change the subject. It’s not only that, but it was like...she wanted to make me disappear too. And I know it’s because she fucking blames me for losing her, and seeing my face reminds her that she lost her baby. She always favored Annie anyway, so it wasn’t surprising that when she went missing, she...she said…”

You have a flashback of when you were a child during the aftermath. You and your parents returned safely home but without Annie. Your six-year-old mind thought that if you stared at Annie’s cradle in your parents’ bedroom every so often, she would magically return. But to your dismay, your efforts were in vain, and she never appeared.

One night, you woke up from a repeating nightmare of the day you lost her, so to soothe your racing heart, you jumped out of your bed and ran to their bedroom to look at her cradle, praying that she’s there. But rather than seeing your parents asleep, they’re sitting by the edge of the bed. Your mother is curled into a ball, sobbing profusely while your father makes attempts to comfort her with shallow pats on the back. In between her cries, you heard:

“Why couldn’t it have been (Y/N)?”

Returning from a trip to the past, taking your wallet out and paying with cash. You put on your coat and head straight to the exit.

“Where are you going?” The bartender asks.

“To sleep.”

You march right out the bar, massaging your head. After opening the doors, you step out and nearly tripped. For a second, your foggy mind thought you stepped through a hole, but it turns out to be snow. Some time has gone since you’ve been holed up in the bar that it already began snowing and it’s piled up.

You wobble to the empty forest, leaving a trace of your footprints. You despise being anywhere near the empty forest that surrounds Little Bare, but with alcohol, you think you’re invincible. You stand in front of the forest, being unable to see into the distance with the fog blocking your view. But amongst the fog, there is an apparition.

You squint your eyes, but they fail to make sense of what stands far away. But what you can make of the figure is that it’s small and crouched over. It’s alive, moving around but at the same time, staying in the same spot. It isn’t far, but it isn’t that close either.

Your mind immediately draws to that apparition being a bear. That bear that took everything away from you--your little sister, your chance at a childhood, a shot at a proper adult life, everything. Anger spurs within you, no longer having that rationality in your fragile mind. Within a spur of impulse, you pick up a rock the size of your hand, pulling it back and throwing directly toward the bear.

“FUCK YOU!” You shout from the top of your lungs.

Despite the influence of alcohol, you nailed the apparition right at its head. It falls to the ground, the sound of a ‘plop’ echoing. In that brief act of revenge, victory overcame you. You nearly raise your hands up in celebration, thinking that you defeated your arch-nemesis. But you manage to return to your senses, realizing that the apparition isn’t a figment of your imagination...but an actual person. Then your adrenaline fades away.

You trek through the thick snow, hopping through it until you enter the forest, whilst tripping and stumbling. You lean over the black figure, rubbing your eyes to make sure that what you’re seeing is real. Unable to stand straight, you fall backward and land on your bottom. After blinking, dread sets in when you realize that it’s a child.

“Oh my god...oh no...help...”

You try to stand up to look for help, but once you do, your vision turns black and you become light-headed. Nausea hits you, wrapping your hand around your stomach to control your gag reflexes. The alcohol, lack of food and water, combined with the high elevation comes altogether, making you fall down again.

As your eyelashes flutter, there’s a flashlight illuminating from the direction where you came from. Just when you’re about to close your eyes, the young boy’s body grows exponentially, growing to an exact size of a fully-grown adult right before you.

———

“Mom! Dad! I made a best friend!! He lives in a cave in the forest with the black trees...No! I’m not lying. He really does live there! He’s six years old like me...What? He’s real!! He doesn’t live with a mom and dad, but he said that he lives with kids like me and him too…

“And I told him that I would show him Annie, too...”

“Don’t…!” You sit up in an unfamiliar room in a cold sweat and heavy breathing.

You’re on a clean bed, made of pure white. On the walls, there are drawings of the human anatomy, motivational quotes plastered on a piece of paper with words such as ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’ and ‘be calm and exercise’.

Next the bed is Kim, startled by you suddenly waking up. “(Y/N)?! Are you okay??”

You look at your hand that’s trembling violently, but now that you’re conscious, the hangover hits you hard like a bullet. That massive headache and your stomach twisted in a knot. There’s a lump in your throat with the urge to throw up, but there’s nothing that’s coming out.

“Where...is this place?”

“It’s the clinic. The bartender found you unconscious with a man in the woods and thought that he was trying to take advantage of you.”

“A man…?”

You search through with what very little that you remember last night. You went to the bar to waste away, then you walked out. There was someone in the forest—a young boy. It was too dark to make sense of the boy’s details, but you just knew based on his shape that it was definitely a male.

“No...no…” You squeeze your eyes shut, enduring the pestering headache as you shake your head. “It...it was a boy. A kid.”

“What?” She raises an eyebrow. “There were no kids around, just the man. They’re interrogating him right now.”

You don’t recall a man being there. You must’ve been that fucked up to mistaken a man for a child. Even though it shouldn’t be an issue, it’s bothering you a lot. You remove the blanket, attempting to get out of bed before Kim stops you.

“What are you doing??”

“I have to see the man.”

“No! The doctor advised that you sit. You haven’t been eating, so you’re light-headed.”

“Let me see him. I need to.”

“Stop being crazy and just rest! They made food for you, so just eat and sleep.”

She puts her arms on you, but you gently push her hands away. “I will after I see him.”

You get out of bed, trying to stand but the light-headedness sets in. Your vision turns black briefly, causing you to stumble over your feet. Kim comes to the aid, helping you balance.

“See? I told you. Just rest.”

“No...I’m good. Do you know where this guy’s room is?”

Seeing how adamant you are about it, she decides to give in. “He’s in the room next to you.”

You head out of the room, walking slowly so that you don’t fall, then exiting the room. In the halls, there’s nobody, making it easier for you to head into the other room without any interruptions. You twist the doorknob, swinging it open to find the doctor and policeman, assuming by the uniforms that they’re wearing for their designated jobs. They turn to you, caught off-guard by your entrance.

The man that you’re looking for is on the bed, tilting his head when you two make eye contact. He has a long face, void of a smile. His black hair is frizzy and curly, strands of it flying all directions as if he just woke up. There are bandages wrapped around his head. After that short contact, he looks away, grabbing the doctor’s sleeve and using it to hide his face.

“Miss (Y/N)? What are you doing up?” The doctor asks.

Kim follows from behind.

“Miss Kim, I told you to watch over her.”

“I’m sorry...but she was persistent in seeing him.”

“Him…?”

Now that you have gotten your opportunity to meet with the man, you don’t know what to do. You stand still, at a loss of words when you meet the man that you ran into the forest. Perhaps you really did run into a man, not a child. You were under the influence, after all.

“Miss (Y/N),” the policeman starts. “Since you seem well enough to be standing, can I have a word with you?”

“Sure…”

———

“Amnesia?”

Returning back to your room, the policeman explains what they were discussing earlier. Kim had returned to the hotel room to give you and the police some privacy, and the doctor is staying with the man.

He sits with his hands folded on his lap, giving you a serious expression. “Yes. It’s a minor blunt-force trauma to the head, like something no bigger than a rock.”

“Oh my god…I was the one who hit him.”

“Did he try to assault you?”

You shake your head. “I did out of anger, but not at him. I was drunk and wasn’t thinking clearly.”

You fear that you’ll get in trouble, but you’re more fearful of the condition that you left the young man in. You weren’t expecting your throw to be that strong. The policeman scratches his beard, figuring out what to do in this situation.

“For all I know, you could be lying.”

You gulp.

“But hey, you could also be telling the truth. We don’t know until we check out the scene and hear his side. He doesn’t remember crap—not even his own name. For now, we’ll continue the investigation.”

You sigh in relief, but that still doesn’t deter the guilt from you. The man is a victim of your outlash, and it’s natural for you to want to make up for what you’ve done, even if it’s minor.

“Uhm...how is he…? The guy, I mean.”

“Other than the total amnesia, he’s in a healthy state. It’s strange, though. Other than a large coat, he was wearing a thin layer of clothes, but his body temperature wasn’t affected by the cold. We don’t have young people living here either, so it’s a mystery where he came from.”

He stands up from the chair, walking to the door.

“Well, it’s nice meeting you, Miss (Y/N). If you remember anything, then don’t be afraid to come to me. My name is Sheriff Tusk, and I’ll be in the police station often.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Sheriff Tusk walks out, leaving you alone. You fall back, resting your head on the pillow as you exhale. So much has happened in a short amount of time that it’s difficult to believe that all this actually happened. Even if you got away with being put to jail, you feel immensely guilty for hurting him.

———

The next day, you’ve been discharged from the hospital, suffering only from lack of nutrients and a hangover. Kim is in the room with you, helping you pack your things. Neither of you say much, focusing on putting your belongings away. You keep thinking about the man next-door, wondering how he’s doing. You keep stealing glances at Kim, wanting to ask her if you two can visit him but never gathering enough courage to actually ask her.

“Are you ready?” Kim asks as she puts the last folded shirt into your luggage.

“Hm? Oh, yea.”

You take the luggage from her and head to the door. Kim looks at her phone, once again, seeing that her phone has low reception. You pass by the man’s room, stopping in front of it and nearly causing Kim to bump into you.

“Whoa, what’s going on?”

Without a response, your eyes lay heavily on the door, struggling with the debate of whether or not you should enter.

“...(Y/N)...?”

Eventually, you make the final decision, approaching it and your hand grasping the doorknob. You pull the door open, making Kim confused, but not stopping you from continuing.

Inside the room, your peer at the bed, seeing the man sitting upward with a movable table that has a tray of food on top. He holds a cup of pudding in his hand, eating the chocolate-flavored dessert faster than the sound of light. He eats as though he hasn’t eaten in days, the pudding smearing on the corners of his lips.

It takes a moment for him to sense your presence, jolting and freezing when he sees you. You blink profusely, looking around the room nervously. You wanted to see him again, but you didn’t think about what, or if, you wanted to say something.

The man holds the end of his blanket and pulls it up.

You scratch the back of your neck, looking only at the corner of the room. “Hi, uh...I don’t think I’ve ever formally introduced myself. My name is (Y/N).”

You move closer and extend your hand out, but it makes the man flinch. Seeing that he doesn’t want to accept your hand, you pull it back.

“I don’t know if the doctor told you but...I’m the one who threw a rock at you, which is why you have that injury. I came in to say that I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t respond to you. Rather, he stares as if he’s fearful for his life, his pupils shaking from seeing you. You take one more step, wanting to get to know him, but it makes him flinch.

“I hope you—”

“S-stay away from me…” He whimpers.

His voice is deeper than any man’s voice, and yet his tone is like a scared child. Even the way he pronounced each syllable is with a lisp and not proper, as if he’s slurring. Despite his masculine outlook with his broad shoulders, tall height, and sharp eyes, underneath that shell, he’s fearful and small.

On the right side of you is the bathroom, the door open. You face the mirror, looking at your reflection. You see yourself as an ordinary person, but this man probably sees you as something, not someone, else in his reflection.

Kim puts her hand on your shoulder, pulling you back gently. “Miss (Y/N), I think it’s better to leave him alone.”

You know it’s better to do that, but there’s an urge within you, pushing you to stay. There’s an internal battle between you and yourself, the desire to stay and talk to him but leaving him alone to rest. Ultimately, you choose Kim’s suggestion.

You take a few steps back, your courage slowly being broken down with each step. “S-sorry…”

Breaking from a blanked trance, you abruptly pace out of the room and to the lobby. Kim is left confused, her head turning back and forth between you and the man.

“Sorry about bursting into your room. I pray for a healthy recovery.” Kim runs off to find you.

———

You stand just outside the small and aging medical building, Kim eventually catching up to you.

“Hey! What was up with that?”

No response.

“Miss (Y/N)...? Hello?”

“I...I don’t know.”

You couldn’t quite understand it either, unsure of what it was that made it okay to visit him. Despite his amnesia, it seems like he’s aware that you’re the one who injured him. With your behavior worrying her, Kim puts her hands on your shoulders, shaking you slightly.

“Do you know that guy?”

“No...no, not really.”

This is the first time you’ve met him, but there’s something about that man that you can’t put your finger on it. Perhaps it’s the guilt talking to your rationale or the urge to talk to somebody who’s close to your age. You just can’t let go of this.

“Well, you shouldn’t worry about it. The sheriff let you off, so you don’t have to take care of him.”

What Kim says floats over your head. You’re not doing this to appear like a law-abiding citizen. There’s this unconscious instinct that’s pulling you to him. It sounds unrealistic and dramatic, but there’s no other way you can describe this feeling. You turn around, staring at the medical building.

———

“What do you mean I can’t visit?”

In the main lobby, the doctor is sitting behind his desk, reading the newspaper. He lowers his glasses to give you a hollow glare. It’s the next day, and you decided to visit the man a second time but your visitation has been turned down by the doctor.

“Visiting without the patient’s permission, especially consistently, is harassment. I’ve been notified of what happened yesterday, so to protect each patient’s safety, I advise that you leave him alone.”

“But I’m not doing anything bad. I just want to talk to him.”

“I know you don’t have malicious intentions, but he’s still recovering from the head injury. Plus, the police are investigating, so it’s better if you leave him alone to avoid trouble.”

“I know, but…” You trail off.

“And you should be resting as well. You’re slightly anemic and are lacking some sugar in you. I’d say run to the store and buy some ice cream.”

Despite that, you stand still. Eating for your physical health’s sake isn’t your priority, but to see the man again. The desire to see him is just as haunting as seeing delusions of your little sister.

He raises an eyebrow, folding his newspaper up and leaning over his desk. “Why are you so persistent in talking to him? From as far as I can tell, you two don’t know each other.”

He’s asking a question that you don’t know the answer to. He waits for a response, but nothing. You seem hesitant, figuring out why it’s your first instinct to see him. You just have to, but if you tell him that, then he’ll most likely kick you out anyway for an absurd reason.

Seeing as you won’t say anything, he leans back, returning to his newspaper. “Well then, I’m sorry but without a proper reason, I can’t let you see him.”

“But…!”

He sighs, losing his patience with you. “I will call Sheriff Tusk if you don’t leave us alone.”

With the threat of police involvement, it pulls you back. You turn to the door, your shoulders raised up.

“Damn city people, thinking they can do whatever they want.” The doctor whispers.

You stop in your tracks. Normally, you don’t let insults like these get to you, but his tone made it seem like you’re scum. You’re not being stubborn because you think you’re superior to the rest of them, but he paints it that way.

With your eyes filled with red, you spin around, marching right back at the doctor. He notices right away, lowering the newspaper and preparing for an attack from you. You clench your fist, getting ready to let him know what’s been in your mind and conveying that through a punch.

But you purposely look away from him, looking at the corner of the room, your inner voice telling you to stop. When you get to his desk, you nearly slam your hand on it before the last nanosecond, pulling the force back and your fists making a soft landing.

You stare straight into the doctor’s shaking eyes. You exhale heavily, cooling down your temper. “Sorry. I just wanted to say that mold is growing in the corners. You should give it a look.”

He raises an eyebrow, questioning your mental state. Absolutely nothing made sense, not even to you. You turn around and pacing out of the building. He fixes his glasses, having no clue what just happened. He looks at the corner, seeing the black mold growing.

———

Outside of the medical building, you crouch into a fetal position, hiding your face in your knees. You don’t know what’s going on with you. You don’t have full control of your body, and it’s scaring you. One second, you’re oddly pulled toward that strange man, the next second, you let your anger take the driver's seat. You’re beginning to think that you belong in an insane asylum.

“Oh my, what in the devil’s name are you doing?” Margaret jogs to you.

She crouches over, rubbing your back. She takes your arm and helps you stand up. You’re confused, not knowing who’s touching you or where you’re at. You come back to your senses when you see Margaret’s face.

“Don’t be sitting in the snow like that, you crazy woman! Look at you, dressed like a whore out here in the cold and only wearing a thin layer of clothes!”

Calling you a ‘whore’ was a bit uncalled for, but you don’t get angry.

“Jesus Christ, that damn doc discharged you early. That scum of a doc probably let you go early because he’s too lazy to take care of you. C’mon girly, come to my place.”

She holds onto you, letting you lean on her to her place.

———

In her kitchen, Margaret sets a tray of cookies from a tin box in front of you with a warm cup of coffee. You sit with your knees close to your chest, curled up in a ball. You pick up a cookie, but the edges start crumbling. After a bite, it practically falls apart in your mouth and makes your throat dry. You take a sip of the coffee, clearly tasting the stale flavor of the grounded beans and sink water combined. You try not to make a bitter look, but you can’t help it.

“That boy has been stirring shit up even though he’s the one being holed up in that den. The whole town has been talking about him.”

She takes a seat next to you, putting sugar in her coffee and mixing it with a spoon. She takes a sip, smacking her lips after tasting her awful coffee calmly as if this taste is normal to her.

“But seeing a young man is definitely a breath of fresh air. Like with you and your Kimmy friend, it’s rare to see youngins here. Maybe he was with those contractors from the other day and got separated from them.”

It’s the most sensible explanation, but it doesn’t explain why he was alone in the forest. If he was a part of those businessmen, then he would’ve long since gone into the town and asked for help.

“What were you doing there, on your knees like you were prayin’?”

Once again, there’s that hesitation. She looks at you, ready for you to spill your heart out, but two decades of being a closed book, it feels way too strange to share. Just from your silence alone, she can tell that you’re not comfortable yet.

“You know that by clamming it into your brain ain’t gonna make it better. Even if you don’t tell me, I know exactly why you’re freaking out like your ass’s on fire.”

It’s a weird simile, but you take it.

“I know your struggle, but it ain’t like I understand it though. That’s why you gotta explain it.”

You hold the cup with your two hands, looking down at your reflection in the coffee.

“Don’t think that just because you’re all grown up now that I don’t remember what happened to you and Annie. I’ve lived here for thirty years, and every single kid who went missing here has been imprinted in my head. If there’s someone you want to talk to, don’t be afraid to talk. Or…” Margaret wipes imaginary dust off your shoulders, raising her eyebrows and smiling widely like a cartoon character. “I’m wrong and you crushin’ on that boy.”

“What the…? No.”

“Lady, don’t hide it. I saw how much you were beggin’ to see that young lad. I know young love when I see it.”

“It’s not even remotely close,” You don’t know how this turned romantic suddenly. “It’s normal for someone with decent morals to make sure that the person they harmed is okay.”

“Whatever you say, girly.”

It was so long ago, but now you remember. That time when you first came here, Margaret also told your parents to scram. Being no taller than your mother’s waist, she looked like a giant—a real-life monster scaring you to death. You can’t recall the exact words, but she must’ve been just as hostile as she was with you and Kim on the first day. But with the lens of an adult, now you know that those shouts were for concerns. She must’ve seen you and Annie and knew what ill fate was about to occur.

You look out the window and at the clinic. That man is still in his room, doing God knows what. “Margaret, don’t get the wrong impression, but how much are your flowers and candy?”

———

One of the good things about this clinic is that it’s open 24/7, but the doctor sleeps at his desk. You open the door carefully, making sure that you don’t make a noise. You keep your eye on the doctor, nervous that he’ll wake up. In your hands is a bouquet of flowers and on the other is a grocery bag. You move your hands as little as possible, holding two of the loudest objects in your arms. Luckily, you manage to pass by without waking him up, your feet lightly making its way up the stairs and to the man’s room.

As you sneak through the halls, you’re beginning to think of yourself as a creepy person. You really went through the lengths to see a man who you’ve harmed once and spoken to once. You’ve always been questioning your mental stability, but this is pushing it. A part of you wants you to run out, but you’ve already put yourself deep into this mess to leave.

You make it to his bedroom, a single light coming from behind the curtains. You knock on the door, and although you don’t get a response, you can hear the sheets fluttering. You put your hand on the doorknob, but then you pull back, the reality of the situation hitting you hard. Sighing heavily, you think it’s best to leave. At this rate, what you’re doing can get you into massive trouble.

Just as you turn around, you hear a loud bang in the man’s room, followed by the ringing echoes of metal objects dropping. You scrunch your shoulders up, nearly screaming at the sudden loudness. This prompts you to open the door and check what happened.

In the room, you look around, but only darkness wraps around you, taking seconds for your eyes to adjust to it. On the ground is the man, squirming around, entangled in the blanket. You’re unsure of what to do, placing the grocery bag and bouquet on the bed. You attempt to pull the sheets off of him, but his kicking and punching creates a struggle for both of you.

“Hey, you don’t need to move so much…!”

After a while, you’re able to pull it off. When he sees you, he freezes, and you as well. You move back, on your knees, but having no idea how to explain why you’re here, you scratch the back of your neck.

“So uhm...what were you doing on the floor?”

Why did you even ask that, you idiot?! You want to slap yourself, but you remain cool. The man stares at you, having no idea how to answer you. If anything, he seems more frightened than shocked to see you. You try to think of anything to reassure him that you’re not a threat.

You grab the bouquet from the bed and show it to him. “This is for you.”

He stares at it curiously, like he doesn’t know what it is. He reaches over to grab it, but he pulls his hand back.

“Wh...where did you get this?”

“...I got it from the store…?”

Since it’s winter, most of the flowers have been shipped from other areas, but Margaret’s shop didn’t have that many, so the bouquet is rather small. He eyes it in awe as if he’s never seen these before. He pulls a rose out, inspecting every angle. He bends the stem, then picks a petal off. He does it again, and again, and again until his lap is surrounded with red petals. What’s left of the rose is the crooked stem, and the thorns.

He sweeps the crimson petals into a pile, finding the smoothness of it satisfying, pinching them in between his thumb and index finger. He raises his head, giving you round, innocent eyes, pointing at himself. “Are these for me?”

“Y-yea…”

You almost forgot about the second half of the gift. You grab the grocery bag, spilling the content all over the floor. It’s different kinds of candy—chocolate bars, jawbreakers, and gummy worms.

“When I came here last time, you were eating that pudding to death, so I thought you’d like to have more sweets.” You don’t even know if he’s supposed to be consuming this much sugar, but you thought that you just had to buy him these.

You give him a watermelon-flavored hard candy. He tilts his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. That’s when he pops the candy into his mouth, not bothering to remove the wrapper.

“Ah! What are you doing?! Spit it out!” You sit up, pulling yourself closer to him.

Startled by your raised voice, he flinches at first, raising his arms up like you were about to hit him. He spits out the candy immediately, that childish curiosity disappearing. You move back, wondering if your loud tone scared him.

“You...you can’t eat it like that. You have to take off the wrapper first.”

You wait for him to pick up the wet candy, but he doesn’t. Not wanting to pick up the saliva-covered candy, you pick up a different one, showing it to him.

“Copy me.”

He picks up the one he spat out, pinching the wrinkled edges just like you. You pull it outward, the wrapper spinning and loosening. Once the twists come off, you unpeel the plastic, showing him a hardened sphere. You put in your mouth, letting the sweetness soak in your mouth.

“Like that.”

He does what you do, the candy twirling until it’s untwisted. He takes it out, eating it, and that’s when his eyes widen, astonished by how sweet it is.

“It’s sweeter than pudding!” He exclaims.

His enthusiasm for how sweet candy is is absolutely weird...yet endearing. For a man who’s around your age to behave like he’s experiencing sugar for the first time is abnormal, but it makes you feel...warm inside.

He tries to bite the candy, but he wasn’t expecting it to be this difficult and ends up hurting his jaw. “Ow…but it’s not soft like pudding.”

You hold back the urge to laugh. He definitely has been living under a rock if he didn’t know that he can’t bite it down so easily. That’s probably why the doctor gave him soft foods.

He reaches for another one, but you stop him. “What are you doing?”

“I want to eat another one.”

“I-I know it’s for you but...you should wait to have more in the morning. It’s not good for your teeth.”

He’s saddened, but he obeys. He folds his hand, but his eyes won’t leave the candy that you dropped everywhere. Unable to say no to his puppy eyes, you give him candy that’s easier to chew. Not letting him unwrap it himself, you open it for him.

“This is taffy. It’s strawberry flavor. I think you might like it.”

You give it to him, and lights sparkle behind his eyes. He eats it, savoring the taste. Seeing his smile makes you feel fuzzy, like seeing how genuinely happy he is for something as simple as getting candy makes you want to smile too.

“Uhm...I don’t know if I ever got your name,” but then you recall that he doesn’t remember his name. “Actually, wait...never mind.”

“...Taehyung.”

Taehyung? It sounds out of place for a town like Little Bare. He definitely isn’t from here, which only brings more mystery as to who he actually is. Other than that, it’s a unique name foreign to you.

“I’m...sorry for hitting you on the head. I wasn’t thinking straight and did something really stupid…”

“Yea, it really hurt,” he points out blatantly. “Just promise me that you won’t do it again. Not just to me, but to anybody else.”

It felt out of sorts that somebody as immature as Taehyung would give you a lecture, but you nod. “Promise.”

“Okay.” And just like that, he continues eating the taffy.

He scoots closer to you, losing the tensity in his muscles. Your determination to see him has finally died down, and now the timidness is entering your body. It’s impossible to distract yourself from him, watching him eat with absolute happiness, glad that you ignored the urge to run away and stayed.

You stare at the candies on the ground, the sensation of nostalgia overcoming you. You ate these when you were a child, and you ate these a lot with Annie, especially the watermelon-flavored candy. Since her disappearance, it was difficult for you to consume these again. But times have changed, and you bought these impulsively for Taehyung.

You bite the candy that’s in your mouth, breaking it into pieces to swallow, then putting the watermelon one in. Eating it was like going back in time, being that six-year-old, naive girl. You even ate this when you were here, fighting with Annie and not sharing one until your mother yelled at you to share. It’s such a trivial memory, but one that you remember vividly.

But this is the reason why you avoided anything relating to this town. It brings back memories that you tried so hard to bury deep in your head. You don’t want to be re-attached to emotions that you cut the strings to. You flutter your eyelashes, raising your head at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling. You can hear Annie’s laughter, holding her small, chubby hands as you two run through the snow. You exhale slowly, but it’s shaky, and your chest feels heavy.

“(Y/N)...are you okay?” Your trance is broken when you hear Taehyung’s voice.

You return to your senses, surprised that he remembers your name. “N-no...I’m just...I just haven’t...it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Taehyung tilts his head to the side, observing you fighting back the tears as you rub your eyes. With your eyes closed, he extends his hand out, reaching for your head, but when you open them back up, he pulls it back immediately.

———

“Oh no, Tae, what happened this time??”

“They were pushing me around again. They were throwing snowballs and telling me to go away. They kept telling me that they don’t play with immigrants. What does that mean?”

“...Ignore them. Tell me where they hit you.”

“My head...they kept aiming there.”

“A snowball is not supposed to hurt. Oh dear God...you’re bleeding again. Don’t tell me, did they put rocks in the snowballs again??”

“I don’t know...but it really hurts.”

“My poor child…”

“...Mom…”

“Yes?”

“...Am I an alien?”

“What? No! You’re Kim Taehyung, the strongest boy.”

“But...I’m skinnier than the rest of the kids. Plus...they keep saying that I have small eyes. I can never beat them at racing.”

“Taehyung. Do you know what’s the strongest forest animal?”

“What?”

“A bear. They’re huge and can beat up anything that stands in their way. But you know what else makes a bear strong? Not only physical strength, but their will power to stay alive too. You may be a cub right now, but when you grow up, you’re going to be the strongest bear in the entire world! You’re going to be so strong that you won’t need to hibernate like the rest of the grizzlies. That’s why, no matter what, Taehyung, you’ll always be my baby bear. When you’re in trouble, call for me and I’ll be there. I promise I won’t leave you. Now, let’s get you treated at the clicnic.”

———

“Are you insane??” Kim’s booming voice echoes across the inn. Kim’s hands are on her hips, like a mother scolding her child.

You’re by the edge of the bed, startled by her voice.

“Did you really think that the doctor wouldn’t see the things you left for that guy? The doctor told me everything this morning. What the hell were you thinking, sneaking into his room late at night??”

You sigh, unbuttoning your coat. “His name is Taehyung.”

“His name doesn’t matter. What matters is that you broke into his room. It’s already enough that you nearly got in trouble for injuring him, but this? This is pushing it!” She wants to say more, but letting her anger out on you won’t do anything to ease it.

The way she lectures you reminds you of Suniya, and it might be because Kim is beginning to understand what she meant when she said that you’re disconnected. Logic does not correlate with you and you do things erratically.

“But I didn’t hurt him this time. We had a little chat, and I gave him a few things.”

“But did it really have to be during the middle of the night?”

It didn’t, but there was no other way if the doctor was going to keep you away from him.

“Is it because you felt bad?”

“...I guess? He’s a really nice guy. You should talk to him. Everything he says is interesting.”

You don’t need her to tell you that what you did was wrong, but perhaps she’s doing it because of how nonchalant you are.

“Miss (Y/N)...you can’t forget about why we’re here. This isn’t a vacation, we’re working, and we both haven’t even jotted down a single word. Fooling around with a stranger—”

“Taehyung.”

“...Taehyung...Talking to him is going to waste more time. He’s not paying for our meals.”

You fold your hands on your lap, glaring at it. She can tell you feel a little guilty, so she tries figuring out how to talk to you without you becoming withdrawn. She takes a seat next to you, but makes a clear gap between you and her.

“Remember why we’re here. There’s a story that we have to tell, right? To warn people that this place isn’t meant to be lived in.”

You pick on your fingernails, fully aware of your purpose for being here...but seeing Taehyung was almost like a calling...That night, talking and eating candy on the floor, it felt like an eternity since you last spoke to someone that didn’t have anything to do with work. Even though you’ve never met him before, it felt like you’ve known him for years.

“Yea...yea, yea. I know.”

“If you know, then let's start our work today. We’ve gotten comfortable with this place, so let’s start by interviewing the townspeople.”

“Okay.”

———

Laying on his back is Taehyung, raising his arms up and staring at the candy wrapper. He covers the ceiling light with the wrapper, and he smiles while thinking of you.

“Taehyung, focus.” The doctor snaps his fingers.

Taehyung flinches and crunches the wrapper in his hand. Sitting on a stool next to the bed is the doctor with a clipboard.

“Answer my questions. Have you recollected any memories since your stay here?”

Taehyung shakes his head.

“Nothing?”

He nods.

“So is it really your name that you only remember?”

He nods again.

“And you have no idea where you’re from? Not a clue?”

He shrugs his shoulders. His lack of vocal response irritates the doctor slightly, but forcing Taehyung to answer won’t solve anything either.

“Well then, your health is improving exponentially, so you’ll be discharged soon. If you still can’t remember who you are, then we have to figure out where you can stay.”

The doctor gets up and leaves the room. Waiting in the hallway is Sheriff Tusk, his arms crossed. They look at each other, disappointed looks on their faces.

“Anything?” Tusk asks.

The doctor shakes his head. “I can’t get anything out of him. He’s got the mentally of a child stuck in a man’s body. Despite that, he’s recovering at a rapid pace, faster than an average person. His internal injuries are practically gone and all he has left is for his scar to go away. But...something did happen last night.”

“What?”

“That city chick, (Y/N), snuck in here.”

Sheriff Tusk throws his head back. “What in the hell…? For what?”

“To drop off some gifts for him.”

“...You don’t think she’s tryna coerce him? She is the reason why he’s here.”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I have no clue. I’m not sure if you remember, but she’s the one with the missing sister.”

“Oh, that’s the girl? Why the hell is she back here for?”

“From what Margaret said, she and her friend are here to write a book.”

Sheriff Tusk sighs, running his hand through his beard. “Fucking shit...It’s already enough that those goddamn contractors keep coming back…”

“Well, technically the girls aren’t causing harm, so far. I can have Margaret keep an eye on them.”

“Alright...I’ll continue with the investigation. For now, make sure that that young man doesn’t leave. Once I get things together, I have a few questions for him too.”

The doctor nods and Tusk walks off. Once the sheriff walks out of the building, he turns around and returns to Taehyung’s room. But when he opens the door, he nearly has a heart attack from Taehyung, who stands inches away from the door.

“Jesus Christ…! What are you doing out of bed?!”

“I heard you say (Y/N). Is she here?”

He thought that he and the sheriff were speaking quietly, so he wasn’t expecting Taehyung to eavesdrop, but he forgot that the walls are thin. He’s worried that he might’ve heard what they said, but he simply stares at the doctor with curious, naive eyes.

“No, she isn’t.”

“Do you know when she’s coming back?”

“No idea. Just go to bed.”

The demand from the doctor saddens Taehyung. He drops his head, slugging his feet across the room and back to his bed. Just like what Tusk said, the doctor is concerned that you might’ve influenced him to ruin the investigation between you and him, but it seems like he really likes you.

He puts his hands in his pocket. “Taehyung, be truthful with me. Did (Y/N) say anything to you?”

Taehyung rummages through his pockets and shows the doctor a handful of plucked petals and candy wrappers. “She showed me how to eat candy and gave me flowers. When you eat it, you have to take off this cover-thingy…” He pinches the wrapper.

“Mm-hm, okay. Anything else?”

“...Hm...oh, she also seemed kind of sad.”

“She what?”

He tries copying what you did last night, raising his head up and staring at the ceiling. “She wasn’t crying like a baby, but her eyes got watery.”

It’s no surprise. When the doctor first saw you, you seemed like a broken person upon first glance. But he didn’t want to say anything, believing it might’ve been too sensitive of him.

“...I think she hates me.”

“Hm? What makes you think that?”

“You said that she told you that she threw a rock at me and was angry, then she looked sad when she was with me. I think I hurt her before I forgot my memories.” He has a sullen look on his face.

Pitiful is what the doctor would describe Taehyung. His way of thinking is too pure...too black and white. There’s no complexity in him, so if the doctor were to discharge him, he would have no chance of surviving out there.

He leans over and pats Taehyung on the back. “She said that it was an accident and is sorry. Forget about it.”

“...But I can’t...How do you make someone forgive you?”

“You can’t make someone forgive you. Even if you’re the one who made the mistake, it’s up to the other person if they can fully accept what you’ve done,” he pokes Taehyung’s forehead. “Sometimes you think that seeking forgiveness comes from others, but it’s also forgiving yourself with what you’ve done.”

It’s too confusing for Taehyung to grasp what he means.

“But that’s saying if you really did something awful to her. Do you know if you actually hurt her?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I...don’t know. I think I did, but I can’t remember. I just don’t want to see her sad.”

The doctor can see the clear self-frustration in Taehyung. He’s convinced that he wronged you, but the real challenge comes from how he did it. But seeing him battle with himself, it leaves the doctor with a lingering thought… “I know you told her not to see me...but is it okay if I see her again? I want to say sorry to her.”

The doctor hums, thinking about that request. “I can’t make promises, but we’ll see.”

“Okay, thank you!”

———

“Don’t bother seeing him again.”

“What?!”

Later that day, the doctor came to visit you and Kim at your inn to drop the request. “You trespassed into private property and caused mental harm to my patient. And don’t you think it’s smarter to leave him alone, especially when you’re being suspected of physically harming him?”

“…I know what this is about.” You clench your fists.

“Miss (Y/N), please don’t…”

“You’re just doing this to spite us! You hate people from the city, so you’re treating us like shit!”

“Miss (Y/N)!”

“That’s what you think. But you shouldn’t be talking to someone who took the time to nurse you back to health.”

“Don’t use that excuse to justify your shitty behavior!!”

With your face turning red, Kim gets up and pulls you back from the doctor. You jerk your hands off.

“I don’t need an excuse when we have people here taking advantage of my town and the people living here for money. If you want to make money somewhere else, then do that instead, not my home.” He walks away.

“WAIT! COME BACK HERE!!” You shout.

“Miss (Y/N), stop it!!” Kim aggressively pulls you back, shutting the door to prevent you from running out. “What the fuck is going on with you?!”

“Don’t you see it?? He’s just doing that because he fucking hates us! I’m not doing shit to Taehyung!!”

“But he’s a doctor, you should listen to him!”

“Degree or no degree, you don’t need a Ph.D to be a complete asshole.”

“I can tell! Talk about yourself!” She blurts out suddenly.

However, she covers her mouth, regretting immediately with what she said. Her words pierce your heart, but in all honesty, you needed that slap in the face. You weren’t looking at yourself to realize how much trouble you were causing for others.

“Miss (Y/N), I’m so sorry I…”

“No...it’s okay. I needed that.”

“...But please...stop lying that you’re fine. You make it very obvious that something's bothering you.”

You sigh. “...I hate feeling guilty. It’s like...it’s all I could think of, and I hate it. That’s probably why I really want to see him. I can’t let this go.”

That heaviness in your chest caused by guilt is unfathomably painful—so heavy that it’s suffocating. You’re aware of your obsessive nature, and you’d like to control it, but it’s been so deeply rooted into your blood that even if you try to get rid of it, it’s almost impossible. That’s why it’s easier to pretend that the problem never existed rather than solve it.

“I’m sorry, Kim, for dragging you into this.”

Unlike the other conversations that they had before, it truly feels like you’re fully present. Your mind isn’t floating somewhere else, but here.

“It’s okay...people are bound to have their slip-ups. Just...listen to the doctor. I don’t want us to be kicked out.”

You bite on your thumb, not exactly agreeing to Kim, but just as she said, you don’t want to be forced out of town either.

———

Late at night, Taehyung is laying in bed, staring out the window as he counts the number of stars, even though he can count as far as ten. After hitting ten, he restarts and would end up counting the same stars repeatedly.

He hears a knock at the door, then the door creaking open.

“Hello…? Taehyung, are you here?”

Your voice brings a smile to his face, straightening his back. “I’m here!”

“Shh…” You peer over the corner of the wall. “The doctor is asleep.”

“Oh, okay. Did the doctor tell you to visit me again?”

“Ah ha ha...yea.” You avert your eyes.

He hears the rustling of the grocery bag in your hands. Curious, he looks down. “What’s in there?”

He bounces up and down excitedly. You take out the components in the bag, showing him some fruits and drinks. He’s in awe at the different foods you display on the bed, making his mouth water.

“Peaches!”

He picks up the pink fuzzball, almost taking a bite out of it before you take it away from him. “Wait!”

He slumps his shoulders, pouting.

“I didn’t get the chance to clean it, then I’ll cut it for you.”

You rush to the bathroom, rinsing the fruit before returning. In the bag, you take out a small pocket knife, cutting the skin and slicing it into pieces. He stares at it with wide eyes in awe, impressed by your cutting skills, even though it’s nowhere near astonishing.

You give him a piece, and he takes it, shoving it into his mouth and overwhelmed by the sweetness. “This is better than candy.”

“It’s more refreshing, isn’t it? I thought that since last time I brought you some unhealthy snacks, I’d give you healthier options. Well...that’s what I thought...but I couldn’t help but buy something else.”

You wipe your hands down on your jeans, but the stickiness from the fruit juice remains. You take out a can of soda, showing it to him, but leaving him confused. He creases his eyebrows, scratching his chin as if he’s trying to interpret what he’s looking at.

“...This is cola. You’ve had them before, right?”

He shakes his head. “I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never seen it.”

You open the can, the click of the carbonated fizz leaks out from inside. He’s so impressed by it, moving closer to the drink and smell the faint flavor of the cola.

You put it into his hand, and he hesitantly takes a sip. However, he gives a distasteful look, his face cringing from the strong fizziness of the drink. The face he makes makes it impossible for you not to laugh.

“It’s nasty…”

“I’m sure that if you keep drinking it, then you’ll love it for sure.”

He shakes his head, eating more peaches to get rid of the taste. Throughout the night, you show him the many different fruits, and he takes a bite with each one of them. No matter what it is, it will always astonish him, so keen to learn more.

Before you know it, hours have gone by, but it feels as though it’s only been minutes.

“How’s your head?” You ask.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore, but the doctor is always asking me if I remember anything,” he makes a raspberry noise with his lips, falling onto the pillow. “That’s all we talk about.”

“Well...do you remember anything?”

He looks around suspiciously as if he’s making sure that there’s nobody else in the room. He leans over as if he’s going to whisper a deep, dark secret. “Don’t tell anybody, but I do remember a few things.”

“You do?”

He nods. “I remember them in frames, like still pictures. It’s foggy, but there are parts that came back to me.”

“What do you remember?” You lean closer.

“There’s a lot of snow, and I was sitting on the ground. It was really...really cold. Also, everyone looked taller and angry.”

Although it’s great that he has some memories come back to him, they’re vague. His memory is no different than how some of the townspeople treat you.

“Anything else?”

“...Oh, yea. There’s also a large cave in the forest too. I went there a lot.”

The mention of a save makes you shudder, and that’s when a wave of memories return for you. You know exactly which cave he’s talking about...the one you and Annie went to. You hug yourself, trying to forget about it.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?”

You blink profusely, nodding your head. “Y-yea...I’m fine. Taehyung, I have to ask you something.”

“Hm?”

“Did you...by any chance, ever run into a bear? Or a child? At the cave?”

He stares at the ceiling, shaking his head. “No.”

“...Do you even know about the Winter Bear story?”

He shakes his head again.

“...It’s...about a grizzly bear who’s the only bear in the entire world that doesn’t sleep during winter. Because of that, he gets lonely, so he kidnaps kids.”

Your knee begins shaking violently, motioning up and down at rapid speed. Taehyung’s eyes are fixated on your anxious knee.

“He...took my little sister a long time ago, and...it’s my fault. He...paid attention to me, and I liked it. And truth be told, I loathed my sister as much as I loved her.”

His eyebrows crease, not quite knowing what ‘loathed’ means.

“My parents, especially my mom, loved her to death. I still don’t know why. It might be because she was the baby of the family or if it’s ‘cause she resembles my mom a lot, but she was always favored. And imagine the horror that unfolded when they heard that their favorite child went missing and their least favorite child is to be blamed for.” You laugh at yourself.

You will never forget the look of terror on your mother’s face when you returned with your clothes torn and freezing. It wasn’t because of the state that you were in, but the fact that you returned without Annie. She immediately went around town, asking for help, and everybody searched to no avail. Your mother never directly stated that it was your fault, but the way she looked at you like she was going to throw up.

You so desperately wanted to apologize to her, but each time you tried it, she would change the subject. If you were insistent in talking about it, she would become violent. Items being thrown to the floor, her blood-curdling screams, those wide, gaping eyes glaring down at you like you’re vermin. It made you afraid of your own mother. That’s why you tried to bury your memories, and when you did, you either emotionally detached yourself or changed your thoughts to something else, just like how your mother did.

But every time you did think about your sister, you felt that immense guilt gulping you up. You would become manic—wanting to do anything possible to seek forgiveness. You would return to that fragile, little girl who wanted her mother’s love.

Taehyung searches through his pockets, giving you one of the candies that you gave to him. Some of the wrappers fall out of his pocket as well, but he ignores them. You raise an eyebrow, but he nudges for you to take it. It’s the watermelon flavor candy.

“The candies are so sweet there’s no room for bitterness. That’s what I learned after eating so much of it.”

You take it from his hand, unwrapping it and putting it in your mouth. And just like what he said, your tongue is overflowing with the sweet, sweet watermelon. When you look up at Taehyung’s face, making proper eye contact with him for the first time, you notice something odd. His expression is blank, but tears are falling.

You let out a single laughter. “Why are you the one crying?”

He didn’t need to say anything for you to know that he sympathizes, maybe even empathizes, with you. It always felt like when you said something, you got attacked in return. Whether it be Suniya nagging at you, Kim criticizing your rash behavior, those faceless comments on your article bashing you, or even your mother neglecting you when you tried mending the relationship, it felt like everything you did was a mistake. No one wanted to listen to you, and it made you scared to be honest.

He brushes your bangs away to get a better look at your face. Even though you barely know him, it feels like he’s been your longtime friend. Without thinking, you drop yourself onto him, hiding your face in his chest. You hold him tightly, silently crying on his shirt. He’s confused, as stiff as a rock. He slowly sets his hands on your back like an amateur hugger. But you’re no different either since you’re just as awkward as he is.

“I’m...sorry.” He apologizes.

You laugh through the sobs. “Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault.”

He doesn’t reply.

You forgot how sticky your hands are—Taehyung’s lint gets stuck on the palm of your hands. You rarely talk about yourself, but with Taehyung, it feels oddly comfortable around him. Just the look of his eyes alone, you knew that he wasn’t going to judge you. You didn’t need to get defensive because you felt safe.

“Thanks for listening to me.”

———

You peek through the crack of the door, waving at him one more time before leaving. He waves back, mouthing the words, ‘please come back soon’. You nod, gently closing the door. You sigh, slightly embarrassed for breaking down earlier. It’s not every day that you have a heart-to-heart conversation with someone, so it was new. But you can’t hide that little smirk on your face, like some of that weight on yours has been alleviated.

“Seems like no matter how many times I tell you, you think you’re superior to me.”

Startled, you nearly scream when you cover your mouth. You spin around and meet eyes with the doctor who seems unsurprised that you’re here.

“Uhm...I can explain.”

“No need. I give up on trying to convince you.”

“...Really?”

“I don’t know what you want from that kid, but it doesn’t seem like it’s bad. Just don’t pick on him.”

“I’m not.”

“Even if I did tell you to stop, you’ll just continue breaking in late at night.” He walks off.

That felt...a bit too easy. You thought that he was going to put up more of a fight, but it might be because of old age or because of your stubbornness, he was quick to throw in the towel. However, you aren’t complaining about this and if anything, plays in your favor.

———

For the next few days, you have been visiting Taehyung. You two wouldn’t do much but talk, and these conversations would go on for hours. For once, it didn’t feel like your life was single-colored, and his liveliness was contagious. You found yourself laughing and smiling a lot more than usual. But it isn’t as if you two are doing anything spectacular, just talking.

There are traits of him that you’ve noticed. He has these moments where he’s easy to read, like a child, but there are other times when he’ll blank out and you have no idea what’s in his mind. He’s always curious about the world and whenever there’s something that he doesn’t know, he would ask you. He doesn’t ask the doctor and always goes to you first.

“Taehyung?” You peek through the doors.

No reply. Instead, you hear the shower going off in the bathroom, so he must be taking a shower. You thought about waiting in the lobby, not wanting to scare him when he’s out of the shower, but you also think it’s better to stay. Even though you and the doctor came to terms, it’s still uncomfortable being in the same room as him since he hasn’t let go of his distaste for city people yet. Despite treating you horribly, the doctor isn’t harsh with Taehyung. There are times when he loses patience with him, but never gets angry.

And speaking of Taehyung, you’re startled when you hear a thud in the bathroom. Alerted, you rush to the room, twisting the doorknob and seeing him on the ground, completely wet. You get down on your knees, placing your hands on his shoulders.

“Oh, (Y/N), you’re here.”

“Are you okay?! What were you trying to do?”

“I tried turning on the water faucet, but I couldn’t turn the handle. I think I put too much strength and slipped after it turned on.”

“You should’ve asked the doctor for help,” you brush his hair. “Geez, your bandages are wet.”

“I do ask him, but he always looks like he’s annoyed at me every time I ask. I don’t wanna bother him anymore, so I wanted to try and do it myself.”

You groan. That damn doctor, only thinking for himself. “Don’t force yourself to do things especially since you’re still recovering. You should be resting instead.”

“...I’ve always done things by myself,” Taehyung slumps his shoulders. “Whenever I asked someone, they would always get angry.”

“Says who?”

“...Says everyone.”

‘Everyone’? You don’t know anyone other than you, Sheriff Tusk, and the doctor who visits him. Margaret would ask about him from you every so often, but you aren’t sure if she comes by either. Whatever it is, it’s bothering Taehyung, so much so that he’s so gloomy.

“Hey, you can always rely on me.”

He stares at you with wide eyes, but then he looks away, defeating himself before he gets the chance to smile. “But...you aren’t here all the time.”

“Well...good point,” you contemplate. “It’s not always possible, but just call my name and I’ll come to the rescue.”

It’s unrealistic. Obviously, you’re no superhero who can pop up to save the world with a single cry of help. You don’t want to give him hope and be disappointed when you don’t fulfill it. You feel like a parent—giving shallow promises just to shove his worries away, but at the same time, you’re being genuine.

“It’s a small town. I’m sure I can hear your voice. Besides, you were in trouble and I came in time to save you,” you pat him on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s change your clothes.”

You grab him from under his arm, helping him get up. You walk with him to his bed. Once he sits down, you look through the cabinets for towels,  finding a white hand cloth folded on the third shelf. You go back to him, using the cloth to massage it over his wet hair, but not too aggressive to affect his injury. Whenever you wipe too hard, Taehyung’s face would scrunch up and he would put his hand on your wrist.

“(Y/N), do you have a family?”

“Hm? What’s this all of a sudden?”

“I’m just curious about you.”

“I do. I have a mom and a dad and...that’s it.”

“...Do you live with them?”

You shake your head. “I live alone.”

“Why?”

“It’s because...my parents and I don’t get along. After Annie went missing, my parents got divorced and I lived with my mom for a while. But I couldn’t stand living with her anymore so after I graduated high school, I moved out and lived on my own.”

“What does divorce mean?”

“You don’t know what it means?”

He shakes his head. “I heard people use it, but I never really knew what it meant.”

“It’s when a married couple doesn’t want to be together anymore and decides to separate.”

“Oh…”

“What about you? Do you remember your family?”

“A little bit. I don’t remember my dad, but I do remember some things about my mom. I think my mom left my dad when I was very young, so I lived with her. But we ran away from home and moved to a new place. I don’t know how she looks, but she always took care of me. And she always had bruises, too. But I don’t remember why.”

Your ears perk up when he brings up the notion of bruises. It definitely stands out. It makes you a little worried about what sort of environment Taehyung lived in prior to losing his memories.

“She also dressed differently from you. Actually...everyone from my memories doesn’t dress like you or the doctor or the policeman.” He tries to recollect his memories, but it only frustrates him more.

“Okay, okay. Don’t give yourself a headache. Take your time to remember everything.”

You continue to dry his head until you think it’s done. But just as you were about to leave, Taehyung places his hands on your waist to stop you from leaving.

Your cheeks turn red. “Tae-Taehyung? What are you doing?”

“Thank you…(Y/N), for visiting me all the time. Even though I’m a good-for-nothing, you keep me company.”

You scoff. “No one called you a good-for-nothing. And if anyone did, just ignore them.”

Without thinking, you pat him on the head, running your fingers through his damp hair. He peeks one eye out to look at your face, but when you two make eye contact, he quickly hides back into your stomach.

“You won’t leave me? I don’t have to be alone anymore, right?”

There’s no reason for him to question you, and you know full well that that can’t be the case. After all, you’re here for work, not to make friends. However, you can’t bring yourself to break his heart. The way his voice deepened, his tone sounding so...solemn. Like he experienced trauma that he never wants to go through again.

“I promise.”

And with that vow, he raises his head up, grinning from ear to ear. His eyes become smaller from how wide his smile is.

“I really like you, (Y/N), you know that?”

Your heart nearly skips a beat, then your ears turn red. You fan your face, telling yourself not to misread what he said. “Me too. I’m glad we’re friends.”

He raises his head up, a little upset. “That’s not what I mean.”

“What?”

“I mean…never mind.”

———

“Count very slowly to twenty, okay honey?”

A younger version of Taehyung nods his head.

“Close your eyes and cover them with your hands. Don’t peek because if you do, then you’re cheating. People don’t like cheaters.”

He nods again. “Are we playing hide and seek like the kids?”

In the middle of the forest, the woman has Taehyung stand against a dead tree. The woman cups his cheek with her icy hands, brushing his curly bangs back as she looks like she’s trying to fight the urge to cry. Her lips are curled inward, and she opens her mouth to speak. But finding difficulty in letting one word out, she lets out a shaky sigh, averting her eyes from Taehyung.

He can’t keep his eyes off of the purple and green bruises on her frail arms. His mother is so thin that she doesn’t have any fat in her. She doesn't even have muscles—she’s skin and bones. Her eyes look sunken, like her eyes are shrinking. However, Taehyung didn’t think too much about her mother’s malnourishment because his body looks just like hers.

“Y-yes. You know that I love you, right?”

He nods for the third time.

“O...okay...if you love me,  th-then close your eyes and don’t peek. And remember: you’re a strong bear—so strong that you can withstand the winter cold.”

He covers his eyes with his hands, counting from one. His mother waves her hand in front of him. When he doesn’t jolt from her hand, she takes this chance to flee. He keeps counting even after being the only one in the forest.

“Eight...nine...ten...elevephen...twelve...fo...four...four…? Fiveteen...si-six…” He loses count, though he thought it was strange that his mother made him count to twenty even though he can barely count to ten. “...Mom?”

———

“I came from Korea.”

In the room, the sheriff is keeping record as Taehyung continues.

“I think...my mom and I immigrated here a long, long time ago. She said that we had a better chance of living here than there.”

“By ‘long time ago,’ can you give me a specific time frame?”

“...I can’t. It was too long that I don’t know.” 

While he tries to recall his past, he looks out the window and notices you with Kim. Unlike the stoic faces he made, his eyes light up, losing interest on the sheriff and onto you. Tusk glances over to you, clearly sensing the light-hearted vibe coming from Taehyung.

He walks over to the window, raising his eyebrow. “You and that girl have gotten quite close.”

“I like it when she’s here.”

“Even though she’s the reason why you’re here in the first place?”

His smile disappears. The doctor and policeman are always dragging him down with pessimism, so he doesn’t like it when they talk to him.

“She did hurt me, but she’s trying her best to make it up. What she did is wrong, but I forgive her.”

But Sheriff Tusk doesn’t seem convinced. He sighs, closing his notepad. “Well, this is definitely a step forward. It looks like I’ll let (Y/N) off the hook, and I’m confident that you didn’t harm her either that night. If there’s anything else that comes up, then update me whenever you can.”

“Okay.”

———

You glance through Taehyung’s window, only able to see the top of his head. You aren’t sure what he’s doing, but you pray that he’s resting. You’re so distracted that you weren’t watching where you were going and nearly tripped over a rock hidden in the snow.

“Be careful!”

“I’m okay…”

“What were you looking at?” Kim looks up at the direction you were staring at, then she understands. “Is it Taehyung?”

You nod.

“You two became fast friends. I would’ve never thought that it’d be possible.”

“I guess it is.”

“What do you guys even talk about? You’ll go visit and be gone for hours.”

“Anything, but he likes talking about food mainly. Though, he likes almost everything that I bring in.” You smile unconsciously.

Seeing your cheeks turn red, that’s when it hits Kim. She smirks, elbowing you on the arm. “I get it.”

“What?”

“You like him, don’t you?”

“H-huh? What? N...No! Not like that.”

Not this again. You already went through this with Margaret, and you don’t want another misconception...right? You’re actually embarrassed to hear that in contrast to how indifferent you were when Margaret brought it up.

This is the first for Kim to see you in this state. You always appeared calm and collected—making almost every decision without hesitation. Having your more vulnerable side present makes you seem more human.

“If you try to deny it in that tone, obviously I’m going  to assume the other way around! You two hit it off pretty well in the beginning…I mean...You two got along great. You were even begging to see him.”

“Th...that…!”

“Why are you getting so shy? You’re a grown woman, no need to hide how you feel. You act like this is your first crush.” She laughs.

But when you don’t laugh along with her, that’s when she knew that her joke was true.

“Wait...you’ve never liked someone before?! I don’t mean to judge but...of all your years, you’ve never once dated??? Not even had a crush on someone??”

“Yea, I’ve never liked anyone before, but why are you assuming that I like Taehyung…?”

“You make it more obvious than the sky being blue. I’m not gonna lie, Taehyung is pretty handsome. Maybe if he didn’t act childish then I would’ve probably liked him too.”

“It’s not that he’s childish...More like, he’s very curious. But as I  said, I don’t like him in that sort of way.”

“Mm-hmm, you can deny it all you want. It seems like Taehyung’s into you, too. Well...no doubt since you’re the only person to ever talk to him and is around his age.”

You like being around him, but you’re not sure if you like him in that sort of way. You two barely met a few weeks ago, so it’s too premature to be walking through romance territory. Despite it being a few weeks, it truly does feel like you two have known each other for a long time though.

“Well, don’t be in denial for too long. We don’t have much time here until the train comes back, and I don’t think you would want to leave with regrets.”

“I know.”

You don’t like thinking about that. It’ll dishearten him, as well as you, when the time comes. But eventually, you have to tell him that you’re going back home.

“...You said that you’d like him if he wasn’t childish...What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Why are you so curious? I meant what I said.”

“So you’re saying you have a chance with him?”

She’s confused, but it takes her a while before realizing your intentions. She elbows your ribcage, laughing. “You’re jealous!”

“I’m...I’m not! I’m just wondering…!”

Kim never realized how easy it is to read you at times. You and Kim continue your conversation until you two return to the inn. As you two walk off, Taehyung watches from his window.

———

“Who’s the lady with you?”

“Lady?”

You’re in the hospital room, peeling the skin of an apple with a knife. The snow has been getting heavier these days and it’s been like this for a while now. The sky has become cloudy, and there’s no sign of the sun anywhere.

“She was with you when you first came here, too.”

“Oh, Kim? We’re acquaintances. We barely know each other.”

“Really?”

“Yea.”

“Oh, okay. I thought you two were friends.”

“No, not really. She’s a nice woman though. Why do you ask?”

He keeps quiet, picking on his blanket as he sulks.

“I don’t have that many friends. The only other person that I talk to is my agent.”

His eyes widen.

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

“I thought you didn’t have anybody…”

You aren’t sure where he’s going with this. You set the sliced apples down on a plate, giving one to him to which he takes.

“I know a lot of people. It’s a part of my job as a journalist.”

“Are you...close with any of them?”

You’re confused with why he’s interested in your personal relationships. That’s when you get the hint, making you smile. “I’m not close with any of them.”

He sighs in relief and you laugh. Surprised by your laughter, he becomes embarrassed. “Wh-what??”

“Are you trying to make me feel bad about not having that many friends?”

He seems confused, so you realized that your initial assumption was wrong. His cheeks turn red, pouting. “That’s not it.”

You tilt your head, confused.

“I thought you didn’t have any friends or close family, so I was surprised with how close you were with that lady.”

“I know a lot of people, but it doesn’t mean that I’m close with them,” after Taehyung finishes one apple slice, you give him another. “Every relationship that I have with someone is different from the other. Like you and Kim for example. Kim is like my current work partner, and you’re…like a friend.”

It’s unusual to call somebody your friend. It was so easy for you to push others away, but Taehyung is the first person that you want to be close with. There was something about him that attracted you—like a fly buzzing toward a light.

And like an attractive light, Taehyung’s smile is just as bright. “I’m glad that I’m your friend.”

“Yea...me too.”

You thought about what Kim said, about how you feel about Taehyung. Of course, he’s a joy to be around—that bubbly yet curious personality of his is hard to dislike. It’s the sort of trait you don’t see too often in adults, especially in the big city, so it’s a breath of fresh air.

You peer over at the window, and it doesn’t seem like the weather is going to calm down. If anything, it looks like it’s going to get worse overnight. It’s so bad that you can’t even see a few feet in front of you.

“Oh no, it looks like there’s going to be a blizzard.”

The inn isn’t that far, and if anything, it won’t be an issue crossing over. But that isn’t the problem. Just the thought of going through a blizzard makes you feel...uncomfortable. Unwanted emotions return, the kind that darkens your mind.

Taehyung can sense the tension, so he thinks of something to bring you back. “Will you be okay?”

“Yea...I think so.”

But he isn’t convinced. Your face says it all, and you don’t want to go out there. He contemplates, then a light bulb turns on when an idea sparks.

“How about you stay here for the night?”

“Huh? No, I’m fine. It’s just snow, and this is a place for patients. I don’t want to take up space.”

“No one comes here and it gets a little lonely at night. If you go out tonight, you might get sick, then you’ll have to stay here for sure.”

“What are the chances that I get sick? Besides, the doctor might not—”

“I don’t mind.” The doctor shouts from the lobby.

His voice catches you by surprise. You didn’t think he could hear you two talk, so now it makes you conscious about how much he’s eavesdropped. The walls truly are thin here.

“See? Stay here tonight.” He reaches over, grabbing your hand.

His thumb strokes your knuckles and he gives you puppy eyes. You can’t say no to him when he gives you that look. You cover your mouth, hiding your burning cheeks as well.

“Okay...I’ll sleep in the room next door. Do you know if the doctor has any spare toothbrushes?”

“Yes, I do.” He shouts from the lobby again.

You sigh, wondering how much he’ll keep listening. “Thanks…”

———

You and Taehyung are brushing your teeths in the same bathroom. While you’re looking at yourself in the mirror, Taehyung is fixated on you. He’s trying to copy how you brush your teeth. Whenever you brush your right teeth, he does the same. When you move to your left, he does that as well. When you spit out the foam, he does the same.

After washing your face, you head to your room, and Taehyung follows. You look behind, stopping, and he stops as well. He’s holding a pillow and blanket, giving you the hint that he wants to sleep with you.

“What are you doing?” Even though you know, you still want to ask.

“I want to go to the same room. I don’t like sleeping alone.”

“But isn’t your room fine as it is?”

“Yea but...it doesn’t have you in there.”

You blush. “But sleeping in the same room is…”

He tilts his head, puzzled. With that innocent look on his face, you don’t want to say any further.

“Anyway, we shouldn’t sleep in the room.”

“But we stay in the same room during the day, and for a long time too. What’s wrong about sleeping in the same room?”

“It’s just…”

You know that he won’t do anything to you, but just the thought of sleeping in the same room is a bit too much. You truly are immature—being a woman in her mid-twenties and is still conscious about sleeping in a room with a man, not even the same bed.

“Is it because there’s only bed? You can sleep there and I can sleep on the couch! If you don’t like that, then I can move my bed into your room and—”

“That’s not it. We’re just going to be next door, so if you ever need anything, then just knock.”

He looks disappointed, but he doesn’t push further. “Okay…”

“Then...good night.”

“Good night.”

You walk to the room, and you look behind one more time, waving. He smiles and waves back. It’s saddening to see him look forward to sleeping in the same room as you, but you don’t want to push boundaries. You keep telling yourself that this decision is for the better.

———

The children are having a snowball fight. Just on the outskirts of the small  town, the kids build fortresses out of snow, using it as a shield to avoid the offense team. They���re running around and laughing, thankful for it to be snowing so they can play.

But approaching them with small steps is Taehyung, still as a child, his hands clasped to his thin jacket. He’s shaking violently, his skin so pale and frozen cold. His hair is a mess, dirt marks smeared all over his skin. His bottom lip trembles and has turned blue, but he still smiles.

His stench can be smelled from the distance, disrupting their fun. The smell of sweat is Taehyung’s signature scent, like a foreboding sign that he’s drawing near. He’s gotten skinnier since the last time he came to Little Bare. Bags hide underneath his eyes, his round cheeks absent.

“It’s Taehyung. Run away!”

The children hide behind the fortresses, and this hurts Taehyung. However, he remains determined and keeps smiling. “Can...I play with you guys?”

But his request isn’t heard. The children are occupied with making snowballs, combining it with the rocks on the ground to create spiky snowballs. They make enough to form a pile. They start throwing them at Taehyung, and although the first few miss, some hit his body.

He raises his hands up, using his hands to block his face. He runs off, but right at the last moment, one child is able to nail a snowball perfectly at the back of his head. THACK! Only he heard the impact to his head. It was hard enough that he fell forward, his face landing first.

The children laugh. “Hurry! Run before the hungry boy eats us!!”

They skip away to their homes. He loses consciousness for a few seconds before groaning. His head pulsates, touching where it hurts but immediately pulls his hand away because of how painful it is. Underneath his breath, he calls for his mother. He calls for her many times, but no matter how many times, she doesn’t return to rescue him.

Still, he wants to believe that his mother will return. She’ll return to him to make him a warm meal under a roof. He’ll finally get to eat candy like the rest of the kids, and maybe, just maybe, the kids will let him play with them. But for now, he has to prove that he’s strong in hopes that his mother will want him back.

As he gets up, limping as his desire to conform with the kids slowly turns into disgust. The animosity grows as strong as the dizziness that blurs his vision. He limps for what felt like hours until he returns to his new home—a large, ominous cave. The mouth of the cave is dark and hollow, like it can suck anyone of any size in.

He leans on the rocky walls, scratching his arm while dragging his body deeper into the darkness. He places his hand on the wall, leaving bloody handprints and smearing them as he moves. He falters, landing face first, which worsens the damage to the head. He turns his head to the left, and there’s a mysterious marking of a grizzly bear with strange symbols around it. It’s been there ever since he found the cave.

His vision blackens as his eyelids become heavier. One tear drops from his eye, apologizing to his mother that he couldn’t be as strong as she hoped for. Within two weeks of her disappearance, he’s giving up. Fighting became a chore, and now sleeping seems like a better option.

And thus, he closes his eyes for good. And the last thing he thought of was a wish. A wish that he could’ve made at least one friend.

But before he does, the drawing of the grizzly bear on the wall begins to glow.

———-

Taehyung gasps for air, clawing at his throat. He felt pressure on his chest, and it was so clustered that he could’ve sworn that he stopped breathing. He sits up, not realizing that he had been crying in his sleep. Looking down at his pillow, there’s a large puddle of tears and on his eyes as well.

He brings his knees closer to him, covering his ears as he squeezes his eyes shut. Stop it. I don’t want them anymore, he repeats in his head. His memories are terrifying, as if every time he goes back in the past, all it ever becomes is jumping straight into a nightmare. Waking up from an unwanted dream makes this damp room seem scarier, like there’s no one to protect him.

“(Y/N)...” You’re the first person to come to mind. But when he calls for your name, you’re not there. He recalls that you’re sleeping in the room next door.

He gets out of bed, grabbing his pillow and blanket as he walks out of the room. He drags his feet to your room, knocking on the door.

“(Y/N)? Are you asleep?”

There’s no response. He looks at both ends of the hallway, paranoid that some evil ghost is going to appear in either direction. He clutches onto the pillow tighter.

“(Y/N)?”

The calm snow has turned into a blizzard again, and the gales whistle in the cracks of the windows. The wind shakes violently against the window, almost like a robber trying to break in. It scares him more, so he lowers his head, praying that you heard him.

“(Y/N)? Are you there?”

It reminds him of his childhood after his mother left. After wandering in the forest for a long time, he found a cave. While he was excited to live there, nighttime was never his favorite. The large opening left him vulnerable to wild animals to potentially attack him. And standing at the center of the hall reminds him of that, that exposure of his body to the cold world, his life taken away at any second.

“I’m scared...so please…”

The doorknob twists, startling him. He gasps, holding his breath in, but he lets it go when it was you that opened it. You’re rubbing your eyes, yawning. “Taehyung? What are you doing up so late?”

He hastily enters your room, closing the door for you. “Is it okay if I sleep here?”

You don’t make an immediate response, which scares him that you’ll decline.

“I had a nightmare.”

It might be because you’re half-asleep, but it doesn’t take that much persuasion to let him sleep. “Alright...but sleep on the couch.”

“Okay!” He takes baby steps to the couch, placing his pillow by the arm rest and lays down. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Sleep tight.” And just like that, you go to bed.

Taehyung watches you sleep, seeing as you’ve already knocked out within seconds. He tries to fall asleep as well, but no matter how many times he tosses and turns, he can’t sleep. He’s gotten comfortable being the person he is now, happy to be here and seeing you every day, not the depressed child who was abandoned by everyone.

Some time has gone by, and he still can’t sleep. He’s staring at the ceiling, listening to you breathe steadily. The nightmare he had is as vivid as ever, experiencing the phantom pain that came with the head injury.

“(Y/N)? Are you still awake?” Without a response, it tells Taehyung that you’re not.

He sits up, staring at you. He gives it a few seconds before getting out of bed. He stands over your bed before making the rash decision to sleep next to you.

He lays down, his face just mere inches away from yours. Despite being so close, he finds your face mesmerizing. He’s so close that he can feel your breathing.

Taehyung wanted to lay next to you just to see how it’s like to sleep next to someone. It’s so comforting knowing that there’s someone next to him, like the paranoia has been swept away. The longer he stares at you, the redder his face turns. Even though it’s the middle of winter, his face feels hot. He sees you every day, but he can’t understand why he’s nervous now.

He wants to move closer, but your hand is in between your and his face. Rather than move it away, he bites his bottom lip in contemplation. He’s already crossing the line, so he’s afraid that you’ll push him away if he tries too much.

He puts his hand over yours, intertwining his fingers. Your hands are smaller than he thought, his palm already engulfing it. Not only that, but your hand is so warm. Your fingers jolt, which nearly made him pull his hand away. But after that, you’re still. He sighs in relief.

Laying next to him is you, the person who’s taken care of him since the beginning. Judging on his fragmented memories, you’re the first person to ever fight to be with him. It doesn’t matter the reason, he’s just happy that someone thinks that he’s worth it. But at the same time, you’re the person who got him into this mess. You’re the one who threw that rock, just like the other kids. You made his head bleed like how they did. And yet…

He forgives you.

He gently presses his forehead against your forehead. He wished you could stay with him forever so that he can never experience abandonment again. Taehyung is afraid that you’ll end up being like his mother—crying for your name but you never coming to his rescue.

———

The blizzard has died down, and the blaring sun blinds your eyes. You flutter your eyes open, using your arm to cover them from the light. You sit up, exhaling as your vision adjusts to the morning rays.

“Good morning!” Taehyung exclaims as he opens the windows.

You had forgotten that he slept here last night. Even though it’s early in the morning, Taehyung is as energetic as usual.

“Did you sleep well?” You rub your eyes.

“Better than ever.”

You barely remember what happened last night. You know you got up to open the door, but after that, it was a blur. Taehyung also looks chirpier than usual, though you don’t know why. It could be because he got what he wanted and sleep in the same room as you. Whatever the reason, you’re glad that he’s smiling.

As you get out of bed and into the bathroom to wash up, he glances at you. His smile is gone, contemplating some thoughts in his head.

In the bathroom, you splash water in your face after brushing your teeth. You look at yourself in the mirror and massage your cheeks, feeling a little conscious about making weird faces in your sleep. You hope that you didn’t make any noises during the night either.

You walk out of the door, startled when Taehyung turns out to be just by the entrance. “Whoa! Sorry, did I almost hit you?”

But he ignores your question, folding his hands together. “(Y/N), I was just wondering...but you live in the city, right?”

“Yea, I do.”

“...When are you leaving?”

“Uhm...we’ve been here for a pretty long time now, so I think I have a few days until our train comes to pick us up.”

He looks pained just hearing that. “Then...if it’s okay with you, can I show you something before you leave? I think I finally know who I am, at least, the more important parts of myself.”

“This...came out of nowhere, but I’m glad you remember everything. What do you want to show me?”

“It’s...where I used to live. It’s not that far from here.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You live near here? Sure, I don’t mind, but are you even allowed to go out?”

“...Yea. The doctor gave me permission to leave. Is it possible to go later tonight?”

Tonight? You’re unsure about it. It’s too dangerous, especially if you two stray too far away from the town. “Can’t we go tomorrow morning? It’ll be too dark if we go later.”

“I know, but I’m afraid that if we wait in the morning, then i’m going to forget. Please! It sounds crazy...a-and stupid, but I don’t want to sit around and wait anymore. There’s...something I want to confirm with myself. My memories are jumbled up, and I feel like if I go as soon as possible, then everything will make sense. If not, then can we at least go when the sun’s setting?”

You’re still hesitant about it. But seeing the desperation in his eyes, it’s apparent that with or without you, he’s going to go on his own. The tale of the Winter Bear is real, and if Taehyung is taken by it, then it’ll be blood on your hands. If not that, then a coyote can eat him too.

It’s that feeling of responsibility coming back again. If you say no and he’s in danger, you have to live with guilt. You can’t bear to lose another person because of your selfishness.

“O...okay, I’ll go with you. But only in the condition that we go back as soon as you show me.”

“Thank you so much!”

Even though he seemed happy earlier, there’s an air of seriousness. You thought it was strange that he lives near here, and despite Little Bare being so small, no one knew he had been nearby all this time. Although he’s vague about it, it does make you curious about him.

———

“You’re going out again?” Kim crosses her arms.

While back in the inn, you’re putting on your coat. The whole day has already gone by, and you’re going to meet Taehyung just like you planned. However, Kim isn't impressed by it.

“Is he even allowed to go out? It doesn’t seem like he completely recovered.”

You shrug your shoulders. “Apparently, the doctor said that it was okay.”

However, Kim doesn’t seem to agree with your answer. She creases her eyebrows, putting her index finger to her chin as if thinking.

“What?”

“You know...you’ve been seeing him a lot lately. More than actually doing work.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for not helping. Is there anything specific you wanted me to do?”

“No...it’s okay. I already have a basis for my book. Besides, if this was to help you reconcile with your past, then it’s alright.”

“...I feel horrible, like I didn’t help at all.”

She shakes her head. “No, you did a lot more than you think.”

You crease your eyebrows, not entirely sure what she means by that. Regardless, you’re glad that you somehow helped her, though not sure with what and how.

“But...I’m really curious. What relationship do you have with Taehyung? I know you told me that you just met him, but to be frank, whenever I do see you two talk, it seems like you guys have known each other for years.”

You don’t respond. This should be an easy answer, yet, you struggle.

“Miss Suniya told me about you. Mind if we chat for a little bit before you go?”

“Sure...” You sit down on a chair, then Kim sits by the edge of the bed. “What did she say about me?”

“She told me that you have selective memory loss.”

You’re not surprised that Suniya told her about your condition.

“I’m sure there are things that you do and don’t remember about this place, which is why it probably wasn’t so hard to convince you to come with me. The reason why I never bothered you to help me with the book is because I wanted to give you the chance to regain the repressed memories naturally.”

You don’t know where she’s going with this. “...Why is it important that I remember?”

“Well, I...this...you…” she stumbles with her words. “I just want to tell you that you’re a really special person.”

“...Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t think you understand how hard it was to get into contact with you,” She steps closer. “Miss (Y/N), you’re the only person who’s ever seen the Winter Bear and survived. You’re the reason why I became intrigued with this myth in the first place, but those blockbuster people paid news outlets to get rid of articles written about you to sell this myth as a friendly story, so I hit a dead end until I read your article and knew that I found you.”

Things are beginning to click, but you don’t like where this is going. “This...isn’t only about the myth...is it?”

“Do you not realize how big this story is going to be when I write about your encounter with the bear?! People are gonna go crazy over it, then people won’t look down on me for studying mythology. So that’s why, Miss (Y/N), I want to know your relationship with that Taehyung person. My instincts tell me that there’s more to him than what meets the eye.”

“So...you’re doing all this to make money?”

“Why else are we here?” Kim crosses her arms. “Miss (Y/N), don’t pretend to be a hero when we both know that you tagged along for the money, too.”

“This doesn’t feel right...and what about Taehyung?”

The misery that you went through only to be exploited for money is one thing, but for her to use Taehyung, it’s a different story. You’re so infuriated with her that everything in your vision turns red. You thought about punching her, but you manage to control yourself.

Kim gets on her knees, right before your feet. “Who cares about what he thinks? Miss (Y/N), we are writers trying to survive, aren’t we? No matter how many people compliment our writing abilities, words aren’t going to put food on the plate.”

“Stop it…”

You have a flashback of being a kid again, but in the hospital, being checked for any injuries. You didn’t show any physical pain, your mentality however…

“No, I don’t want to…”

“I need you to go back in the past and try. It doesn’t hurt to remember Annie, right?”

The image of your mother crouching over a chair, her face buried in her hands as she cries her heart out. You two are in the police station, waiting for any updates to Annie’s disappearance when a policeman broke the devastating news that they won’t continue the search.

“Don’t you want justice for your baby sister? So you need to come out and describe how the Winter Bear looks like.”

You cover your ears, fragments of your memories that you tried so hard to bury are returning to the surface. You remember the forest, knee-deep in the snow, meeting the friend you made during your stay here. You remember intertwining your pinky finger with your friend’s finger, promising that you’ll be friends forever. A childish vow that you wished you never committed. Because you also promised that friend that you’ll introduce Annie.

“So please, remember—”

“Stop it! I should’ve never come along with you!”

You get up from the chair, marching right for the door and slamming it behind you. Now standing on the other side of the door, you lean on it, rubbing your eyes as you grunt. You don’t want to remember; it’s better if they never come back. You like the way things are. You have nothing to worry about, you want to feel like there’s nothing to worry about. For now, you just want to see Taehyung.

———

At the front of the inn, Taehyung is already there, wearing a thick jacket but is still in his patient uniform. It’s already dark out, but you can see him clearly. When he sees you, he smiles and waves. However, you seem fazed with what Kim said. He’s quick to catch on to your discomfort, so he wraps his hands around yours. It catches you by surprise, but it goes away when he beams.

“How are you?”

“Great, how about you?”

“Good! It’s a lot colder than the last time I went outside.”

You chuckle. “Yea, you’ve been locked up in that hospital.”

“The hospital isn’t that bad. Anyway, are you ready?”

“Sure. How hard is it from here?”

“Not too far,” he takes you by the hand. “Come on, it’s already getting dark.”

He drags you to the direction of his supposed home. You look back at the inn, your senses finally returning and realizing that you’re really going to Taehyung’s residence late at night. You know you can trust him, but there’s something off about this that lingers in the back of your head. Yet, you don’t want to go back either, especially after hearing Kim’s real motive. You want to stay with Taehyung because you feel safer with him. Unlike many adults you’ve encountered, he’s transparent.

———

“Taehyung...are you sure you know where you’re going?”

As you two head deeper into the forest, the lights that came from the town disappear. You hold onto his hand tighter, fear crawling up your skin. It doesn’t help that it’s night either. In contrast to you, Taehyung is undisturbed.

“Yup, it’s beginning to look familiar.”

You regret choosing to go later in the day. If anything, you feel like a complete idiot for agreeing to go this late. It might be because you’re older and know the dangers of the world, but the woods seem far scarier compared to when you were a child.

“I don’t like this…! Let’s go back.”

After saying that, you hear a branch crack and it startles you. You let out a yelp, instinctively grabbing onto Taehyung’s arm. It doesn’t frighten him, so he’s clueless about why you’re afraid.

“If you’re scared, then hold on to me.”

Now conscious about your actions, you pull away, your cheeks flush with red. However, Taehyung doesn’t give you a chance to reconsider and drags you back into his arms. He wraps around your shoulders, squeezing you closer to his chest as he gives you a cheeky smile. You avert your eyes, sulking, but he’s not wrong about you being scared. You hold onto his shirt as you two continue walking.

To distract you from your fears, he changes the topic. “What kind of house do you live in?”

“Mine? Hm...well...it’s nothing fantastic. I live in a one-bedroom apartment.”

“That’s it?”

You nod. “It’s probably a little bigger than your private room back at the clinic.”

“Really?!”

“It’s small but so expensive...How about your home? I never got to ask if you live with anyone.” Though, judging by how no one that he knew came by to pick him up, he most likely lives alone.

“I live alone...and my home...is a little different from a normal home. It is big though.”

“Oh really? That must be cool. And to have it all for yourself too.”

“It was, and I thought it was cool because of how roomy it was...but it didn’t take for me to dislike it.”

“Oh...I’m surprised nobody has ever mentioned that you lived nearby...But speaking of your home, I was wondering, how long have you been living here?”

“Ever since I was a kid.”

“Really? And you’ve never ran into the Winter Bear?”

He shakes his head. “I rarely see bears in general.”

You thought it was strange how he’s lived here since he was a child and yet, he has never been kidnapped. If he’s lived here since he was young, then he would’ve been long gone.

“...My mother always told me that I’ll grow up to be strong. She said that I’ll be so strong that I won’t need to sleep like a bear who hibernates. And I believed her.”

Your ears perk up, listening to him attentively. You recall when Margaret that bears technically don’t hibernate.

“But a part of me thinks that it was mental training to prepare for when she abandoned me.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“That’s when I found a home to live. It was hard living by myself. Kids from Little Bare made fun of me for being a dirty boy and threw rocks at me until I ran away.”

“What are you talking about…? Little Bare doesn’t have any kids…”

“I hated living alone because it was scary, and all I wanted was a friend, or anybody who was willing to keep me company.”

What he’s saying is beginning to sound suspicious. You slowly pull yourself away from him, and it doesn’t seem like he minds.

“You know...travelling through my memories...I’ve always seen snow. Little Bare is always snowing no matter what year it is.”

“Taehyung...Little Bare doesn’t snow all the time. You know that...right?”

“Yea...so I wonder how the other seasons look like. It’s been so long. I learned that snow soaks in all sounds, which is why it’s always quiet during winter. I hate the silence more than anything. I want to know how it’s like to live where it’s filled with laughter.”

Taehyung draws near to his home, which is located in the middle of the forest. Horror slowly seeps under your skin when you start noticing how...familiar this place is. It was difficult to see the resemblance because of how dark it is, but once your eyes adjust to it, it looks as clear as your memories.

“So...it’s a little disheartening to hear that you’re leaving soon, (Y/N). I was hoping you could be here longer.”

You know this place all too well. Your legs begin to tremble, mortified that you have returned to the place that you desperately tried to keep buried in your subconscious. Standing before you is a large cave, towering over you and Taehyung. It’s like a gaping mouth ready to swallow anyone that comes in.

You fall backward, your hands buried in the freezing snow. You can’t get your eyes off of the cave as you hear haunting cries of children’s souls trickling from the depths of the hellhole; one of them sounds exactly like Annie.

Taehyung sees the pure terror in your eyes, crouching over as he tries to help you up. However, when he reaches his hand out, you finally remember exactly who Taehyung is. It makes sense why it was so easy for you to get along with him and why it felt like you’ve known him for so long. Back when you were six years old, this very person is the cursed Winter Bear—the monster who took Annie away.

You swipe his hand away, so shaken that no words are expressed. Your breathing becomes unstable, panic sets in, and your mind goes all sorts of directions. You think about one thing, but your mind heads the other way. You see Taehyung’s mouth moving, but you can’t hear it, only muffles. You can only hear a static ring fly across your ears. Even in the freezing temperatures, you’re sweating bullets.

“(Y/N)...I—”

“S-STAY AWAY!” You crawl backward, swinging your hand side to side to defend yourself from him.

It’s that innocent look in his eyes again that you vividly recall. He was able to transform into a bear and a kid, but when you first met him, he was a child just like you who found you playing in the snow by yourself. He lured you in with fictional affection, promising that he’ll never let you be neglected. It was all a ruse to lock you in that cave, just like the hundreds of souls in there, including your little sister’s.

He looks hurt, but he understands. Right as your memories are coming back to you, it’s returning to him as well. The screams of his victims, the scared look on their faces as they try to escape, and his vicious obsession of chasing after them. He pulls his hand back, knowing full well the crime that he committed twenty years ago. Just one glance at you and he knew that you won’t forgive him. So when you fled, he didn’t bother to chase after you.

All you hear from behind is the aching cries of a young man.

———

Keep running.

Don’t look back.

Focus in front of you.

You run through the forest without a light source. You don’t even know if it’s the right direction back to town, but anywhere is better than there. It was just like that time when you narrowly escaped Taehyung’s grasps. He was so occupied with your sister that he lost sight of you. Just like history repeating itself, you barely escaped his grasp.

You hate yourself for falling into his trap for a second time. Like a pied piper luring children, it was like his curse never uplifted. No wonder it didn’t take a lot for you to turn down the chance to come back to the town. You never learned from your mistakes, and that’s because you kept running away. You ran away so often that you even forgot his face.

Tears blur your vision, so you use your forearm to wipe them away. Despite the revelation, the resurgence of painful reminices, you feel awful for running away from Taehyung. You can’t forget the times spent with him, sharing personal stories of yourself and vice versa, and your friendship deepening. You promised him that he can rely on you, but you already broke it. But...how do you keep a promise with the monster who not only took your sister, but also took away your childhood?

You’re so focused on wiping the tears away that you bumped into someone and fell down. You scream in terror, kicking your feet as you try to get up.

“Hey! (Y/N), calm down!”

The person tries to grab your flailing legs, but you only kick harder. “STOP IT! LET GO! HELP!”

“(Y/N), (Y/N), it’s me! It’s me, relax!!” You feel two hands cupping your cheeks so you can look at the person. “It’s me, Suniya.”

You stop panicking. But your mind feels foggy, and for a moment, you’ve forgotten where you’re at.

“We work together. You’re a journalist, and I’m your agent. You’re twenty-six years old and live in the city. You graduated from the University of Redlands, and you’re the daughter of two parents who live miles away from you. You came here with a researcher to study the town called Little Bare. I came here because I was worried since I couldn’t contact you, then Miss Kim led me here.”

Your breathing becomes steady, regaining control of your unstable mind. It all comes back to you, and now that you got the chance to process what’s happened, your body becomes weak. The only thing you want to do now is cry. You hold onto Suniya, burying your face in her arms as you wail like a child.

Suniya is in shock, never seeing you cry this much before. She knew how much the Winter Bear affected you, but not to this extent, and it breaks her heart. She hugs you back, tears streaming down from her eyes as well.

“Suniya...I...lied. I lied to him again. I ran away. I got scared...I-I couldn’t think...then I left him there...An-Annie...I heard her cry. She was crying so much…”

“It’s okay...you’re safe. Don’t cry.” She hushes you.

She rocks you back and forth as you continue to sob. Your sentences are everywhere, but to question you in this state isn’t going to help. For now, what you need is to hide in somebody else’s arms until you’re okay.

———

“I shouldn’t never fucking agreed to this!” Suniya shouts.

In the room that you stayed in, Suniya is arguing with Kim. You’re sitting in the fetal position in the halls, your back against the wall. Even though the doors are closed, you can hear Yesosang’s voice as clear as day.

It’s the next morning, and you couldn’t sleep a wink. You and Suniya stayed in another room from the inn, not letting Kim know that you returned. The moment the sun rose, Suniya went straight to Kim’s room and has been arguing with her since.

“I thought I had to worry about you because (Y/N) can be a handful but...it was her that I should’ve been more concerned about. You're an absolute scum.”

“Please, try to understand from my viewpoint. Miss (Y/N)’s story needs to be heard—”

“‘Heard’? You mean use?! You don’t give a fuck about what she went through. I should’ve known better and not leave her in the hands of a stranger.”

“You didn’t need to word it that way. I was just trying to help her. I feel like, as a scholar in pursuit of knowledge, she has every right to remember every second of her memories.”

“Oh, don’t give me that scholar bullshit!! You’re no different than those Hollywood people exploited this damn town for money, and you’re not even different from us who are trying to live each day trying to make money. (Y/N)’s repressed memory is not your textbook!”

You can’t handle all this shouting anymore. You’re upset with yourself to make Suniya come all the way here, wasting her family time just to find you. Even though she blames Kim, you feel accountable for agreeing to go on this trip. Suniya can blame your mental instability all she wants, you’re still an adult, and you still said yes.

You wonder what Taehyung’s doing right now. Hopefully, he isn’t cold.

“We’re leaving tonight. You can stay stranded here for all I care. When we get back, we’re going to make sure that every publication doesn’t want to work with you,” Suniya stomps out of the room, taking you by the hand and dragging you with her. “Let’s go, (Y/N).”

As you two walk down the halls, she can sense the immense amount of guilt you’re carrying. She knows you’re blaming yourself, so she slows down and holds both of your hands.

“It’s not your fault, so stop worrying.”

You want to stop, but the guilt won’t leave. Once again, it’s suffocating thinking about what you could’ve done to prevent this from happening.

———

Outside, a gust of wind nearly blows Suniya off of her feet. She was only able to keep still because she was holding onto you. “Holy shit, is the weather always this bad??”

“It became like this recently.”

“Ugh…if this continues, then we might not be able to leave. Sorry, (Y/N).”

“It’s fine.”

Just as you two were returning to the inn, Magaret chases after you two. “Hold up just a minute! (Y/N), can I have a word with you?”

“Who are you?”

“It’s okay, Suniya. Margaret’s been taking care of me.”

She hugs you, almost making you break your back. “Oh dear god, I’m glad you’re alright. I heard that you went off into the forest with that young man. He didn’t touch you, did he?”

You shake your head.

“Thank god. Sheriff Tusk is currently looking for him and will make sure that his ass goes to prison.”

“Wait, what?”

“You can never fully trust men. They’re deceitful and only strive for one thing, and that’s—”

“Is there something important you wanted to say to (Y/N)? We’re in a bit of a hurry to leave.” Suniya saw how disturbed you became when she mentioned Taehyung.

Margaret scoffs. “In this weather? Lady, you’re gonna die if you go today.”

“Why?”

“It’s gonna be ‘nother blizzard happenin’ tonight, and it’s crazier than it’s ever been before. You outta stay one more night.”

But Suniya doesn’t have the patience to deal with another person. “Look, I know you guys don’t have that many outsiders, but I know when locals are trying to make tourists cough out as much money as possible. We’ll be taking our leave.”

What Margaret said about Sheriff Tusk going out to look for Taehyung, so it worries you that he’ll get in trouble. But knowing how quickly Suniya wants to leave this place, she won’t want to stay.

“Wait...I think you should listen to her…”

“You too??”

“The weather here can be pretty bad. We should stay one more night.”

“...Will you be fine…?”

You nod. “I’m not a kid.”

But she seems hesitant, but seeing as the weather is getting worse, it might be for the best. Besides, you’ve been here longer than she has, so she has no choice but to abide by your request. “Okay…”

Margaret’s eyes haven’t left you, clearly showing how worried she is for you. However, she doesn’t say anything as she knows you might want to brush it off. “Yea...it might be for the better.”

———

Later that night in the inn, you’re laying in bed while Suniya is taking a shower. And just like what Margaret said, the town is going through yet another blizzard. This time, it’s heavier compared to the first one. You’re still thinking about everything that happened the night before. You don’t know how you were unable to recognize Taehyung since the beginning.

Did you really repress your memories that much that you forgot his face? The cries from the children’s souls are still imprinted in your mind. Perhaps in the back of your head, you had a hutch that it was him, but his purity made you doubt yourself. Maybe you were keen on going back to him to confirm that it isn’t him from twenty years ago that you ignored the red flags.

Despite the tragedy that he caused in your family, you can’t forget the times spent together. Exposed to the reality of the world made you disregard that there are kind people like Taehyung. He’s caring...but you keep going back to when he lured you and Annie to his cave. It’s conflicting, like two sides of him that you know are real, yet they challenge one another. On one side, he’s your antagonist, but on the other side, he’s like a savior.

There’s a knocking at the door, alerting you. You get up, wondering if you should open it, but seeing as the knocking won’t stop, you get out of bed and open it. On the other side is Kim.

“Hi, Miss—” You nearly slam the door in her face, but she put her weight on the door just in time. “P-please, just give me a minute to explain! I just want to apologize for my selfishness!! I should’ve known better than to take advantage of your trauma.”

You take a second to rethink before opening it for her. You glance at the bathroom, hearing the showerhead still going off.

“You have until Suniya finishes showering to tell me.”

“Thank you…uhm...Again, I’m sorry...I was caught up with my own goals that I lost myself for a second. But...there are a few things that I’ve been doing way before I met you…” she shows you a vanilla folder in her arms. “Here’s some information that I’ve gathered from the town’s archives. It was not an easy task to obtain, so please take good care of them.”

 She passes the folder to you. When you open it, it’s filled with records that look so old that it’ll crumble at any second. Some of these papers feel like it’s decades old too.

“What’s this?”

“My research. I hope this is enough for you to forgive me...I think it’ll really help you with figuring out who Taehyung is and what this curse is.”

And just like that, Kim leaves. You close the door and set the folder down on the desk, spreading every individual paper out for you to read. Some of them are extremely old—going as far as the late 1800’s. The papers on top of the stack are about every recorded disappearance in Little Bare, even some that came after Annie’s. In total, there are a little under sixty child disappearances. As you go through each article, from most recent to oldest, you notice that at some point, the Winter Bear lore became big in the news in the 1950s when a wealthy child went missing. There was even an attempt to make a film out of it but was cancelled due to how controversial it was. To some extent, there was a children’s book in the 1940s about the bear as well.

But as you go back in time, there tends to be less coverage in the early 1900s, most likely due to new coverage of the two World Wars being more favored. A majority of its timeline has been skipped over, and now you’re in the 1880s with newspapers with titles like Exclusive!! Small Town Cursed with Black Magic or Real-Life Witch Doctor Lives!! Cave is an Accessway to Hell. The columns come with pictures of supposed real cave drawings, all are shapes resembling animals, some are birds, dogs, fish, and...bears. There are outrageous claims that the one responsible for those drawings used their blood.

However, as you skim through the articles, it explains what the purpose of those drawings are. Each one resembles the strength of each animal, bird = flight, fish = underwater breathing, etc. There are also theories that the etchings give the holder the ability to shapeshift, though it’s limited. In the third and last article, the title says, Breaking News: Immortality Exists...Or Does It?

Once you go through the papers, you make it to the last few papers. It’s been clipped together with a paperclip, and it’s a record of residences who previously lived in Little Bare. As you flip through them, some pages stick out to you. Some names in each year are highlighted with yellow, and it doesn’t take long for you to learn the pattern. Every name that Kim has colored in are Korean immigrants, and, in particular, there’s a large spike in Korean names in the 1910 records. In that exact, there’s only one name that has been highlighted and circled.

The name is Kim Taehyung.

After 1910, the Korean population here decreased significantly, to where there were no more. And the paper at the bottom of the stack is a black-and-white copy of a photograph with all the Korean immigrants that moved into Little Bare in that year. One there’s a pair that stands out to you. It’s a younger version of Taehyung smiling, and standing behind him is a woman, presumably his mother.

That’s when everything clicked for you. And in that moment, you take the picture from the folder, put on your boots and scarf, and take your thick coat before running out through the doors. You can’t wait for this blizzard to die down, and you have a feeling that it won’t if you don’t go now.

But you stop in your tracks, returning to the room, almost forgetting something. You look through the drawers to grab something small before putting it in your pocket before dashing back out.

———

The blizzard is more intense than ever before, even to the point to where you can barely see anything. Even opening your eyes wider already feels like they’ll freeze. You trek onward to the cave, praying that he’s still there. You’re fully aware at how ridiculous and idiotic this is, like you could’ve waited until it calmed down. But deep down, you know it won’t die down until you find him.

Thankfully, you made it to the cave without any problems. You pick up the pace as you enter the cave, shivering almost to death. Even with multiple layers of clothes, you’re freezing to the point where you can’t feel your feet. In front of you is the black hole that belongs to the cave. The cries of the childrens that Taehyung has taken lurks on the other side. You gulp, clenching your fists to stop them from trembling. You look over your shoulder at the blizzard. You can’t turn back now, so you have to push forward.

You turn on the flashlight on your phone and continue walking. The deeper you went, the louder the cries became. The walls start closing in, and on there are also the same animal drawings from the newspapers. The sound of water droplets complements the hollow cries. It’s getting so loud that it’s beginning to unnerve you. You want to cover your ears, but even if you do, the dreadful cries won’t leave.

But you know that the kids are trying to warn you to leave. They don’t want you to make the same mistakes they made. They’re children—pure souls who lost their young lives. They don't have any intentions to play tricks on you, so that’s why you have to keep pushing through because you have unfinished business.

“(Y/N)...” A young girl’s voice calls out from behind.

Even though you haven’t heard that voice in years, you know exactly who it is. Turning your head around, an apparition of Annie forms. There she is—in her blue-and-white striped dress and pink jacket with the brown boots. She hasn’t aged a bit, but she’s crying.

“Don’t go. Go back home where you have a warm house and people who care about you.” Annie whimpers.

Hearing her speak weighs heavily on your chest. You can’t hold back the tears, so you let it out.

She extends her hand out. “If you don’t hurry, then you’ll freeze to death here.”

Your knees almost gave in, nearly making you fall. Even though you know full well that she can’t be alive, a part of you feels relieved to see her again. It may not even be her, just a recreation that Taehyung made. She has to be his recreation because a two-year-old wouldn’t know to say this.

You approach her spirit, crouching down to her level. You wipe your eyes, exhaling while you smile. “Hi Annie, thanks for warning me. You’re just trying to look out for your older sister, aren’t you?”

She continues to cry, nodding her head.

“It’s okay, you can trust me now. Your big sister is now a grown up. I’m just going to talk to our friend.”

“But! That’s not a friend! He’s a monster who’s done bad things. It’s his fault that I died and that Mom and Dad hates you. He’s made you miserable. He’s the problem!” She cries even louder.

You tilt your head, your grin not once leaving. “I know, but sometimes people do things because they’ve been wronged, too. They won’t know that they’re doing something bad until they learn the good in the world. Our friend was just lonely because he left his homeland, then his parents left him, and no one wanted to be his friend.”

Annie finally stops crying.

“So when he finally made a friend, he wanted it to last forever. That’s why he took their souls. It didn’t help when he had more bad luck and became immortal and has supernatural powers. I just know that deep down, he’s a good person who’s been on the wrong path for a very long time. Right...Taehyung?”

You stand up, turning around after the spirit of your sister disappears. The cries from the children dissipate, and the only one left crying is Taehyung. You approach him slowly, and as you get closer, you can hear him repeatedly mumbling, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ under his breath.

“Am I right, Taehyung? It just got out of hand, and your fear took over you.”

“...I hate opening my eyes to this empty cave. Because I know that whenever I went to town, everyone else would have friends or families to return to when I had nobody. And I never asked to be cursed to live forever either! Why couldn’t I have died a long time ago?!”

He continues to wallow in his own misery.

“And it’s worse when I’m only awake during winter. I don’t even remember what spring, summer, or fall looks like...”

A bear who doesn’t sleep during winter isn’t strong, but a lonely animal because he’ll be the only one awake. Taehyung may be able to live for a long time, but in exchange, he has to hibernate for nine months because the curse is too strong to hold.

“I don’t want to be attached to you. I’m afraid that I’ll try to take you away, but I’m also scared that I’ll never see you again. (Y/N), you’re the only person who’s ever showed me kindness after a hundred years...and I’m afraid that I’ll never experience that again. So please...leave me when you still have the chance. You have a life out there.”

“You don’t have to stay here! You can live with me and—”

“You think I haven’t tried leaving? I’ve tried leaving so many times, but each time I try, I feel like I’m on a leash. The further I go, the more suffocating it gets. An invisible rope is around my neck, but I don’t die. You don’t understand...I’m stuck here forever.”

You don’t want to think about the many attempts he’s tried to end his life. You can’t imagine how you’ll turn out if you were stuck in his position. You’ll probably become insane like him, too. Waking up to the same snowy setting with no one to be there for you. After all, the color white can make people go insane if you see it too much.

You tighten your fists. “Then...then I’ll stay.”

“What?!”

“Let the children’s spirits free and I can stay with you.”

But he shakes his head. “No...don’t give me hope. Just go! Don’t waste yourself with me.”

“No, you listen to me. I’m willing to do it.”

“But...why?! I’ve made your life horrible, and I selfishly took your sister away. I’m the cause of all your problems! I don’t deserve anything from you.”

The pressure of the lives he’s taken away is beginning to weigh down on him, and it’s so much that he can’t handle it. It’s a complicated conflict where he took away so many loved ones from their family, including Annie, but the world was so unfair to him before he fell under this cave’s curse. He didn’t kill because he enjoyed it, but because he didn’t know how to handle his emotions and ended up releasing it in a way he never consciously meant to happen. No matter how hard you try to forget what he’s done, it’ll never leave. It’s engraved into your memory regardless of how much you’ve tried to repress it. You can’t forget but…

You scour through your pocket, showing him the watermelon-flavored candy. He’s confused, but in exchange, you beam. “This is my favorite flavor, and it’s yours too, isn’t it?”

You unwrap it, giving the candy to him. When he doesn’t accept it, you nudge it to him, then he hesitantly takes it.

“Eat it and let the bitterness go away.”

He stares at it, unsure of what your intentions are.

“Almost every kid loves candy, and it’s because of how sweet it is. It’s so sugary that it distracts them from their sorrow. But...it’s also special because of how short-lived the candy is. At some point, it’ll melt in your mouth, and then you’ll want another one, and you can’t keep eating it, otherwise your teeth will rot.”

He clenches it in his fist. “...Why are you going so far for me?”

“Because I like you.”

His eyes widen, almost as if he’s never heard of from somebody else. He thought he heard you wrong. Taehyung is so starstruck.

“I know I can never forget what you’ve done to Annie and what happened after...and honestly...I’m still conflicted. But after getting to know you, I realized that you’re a victim like anybody else. You can’t bring back the kids, but what you can do is learn from your mistakes. So...let the kids go and promise to never take another person’s life.”

You kiss him on the forehead for good luck. After pulling yourself back, but while you were caught off-guard, he leans over to give you a peck on the lips. He feels your chapped lips, which you find embarrassing, but doesn’t matter to him—only that his feelings have also been conveyed to you too.

He pulls back, too timid to look at you in the eyes. “I don’t want to disappoint you, so I vow to never take another person’s life, not even yours.”

“What…? T-Tae…”

“Like what you said, I can’t always be looking for ways to be in an infinite paradise. It’ll just leave me miserable, and I don’t want that to happen to you. What we had was special, and I’ll never forget it. So...it’s okay, you can go.”

From behind, you can hear children laughing. Small hands reach over, grabbing you by your jacket and dragging you away from him.

“Wa-wait, Taehyung! What are you doing?!”

He watches as you try to fight the children’s grasp, knowing full well that if they weren’t there to help him, then you wouldn’t leave. You have a feeling that this will be the last time you’ll see him, so you become choked up in your tears.

“No, don’t do this!”

But he doesn’t respond, afraid that if he says something, he’ll break down.

“Taehyung, I promise I’ll be back! I won’t leave you again! When you open your eyes for winter to come again, then I’ll be there to wake you up. And...even if I’m long gone, then I’ll make sure that you’ll never, ever, have to be alone,” You reach your hand out, extending your pinkie. “I promise.”

With one last look in your eyes, he saw hope. Over a hundred years later, he saw light at the end of the cave, that maybe one day, the curse that had been laid upon him will become a blessing. Maybe this time, he can see someone precious again without taking their life. Even if you don’t fulfill your side to the promise, just the facade of hope is enough to make him look forward to next winter.

Within a blink of an eye, he reaches over and wraps his pinky around yours. He’s so thankful that he’s crying uncontrollably.

“Thank you, (Y/N).”

And with one swift move, the children’s spirits pull you out of the cave, separating you from him. Before you close your eyes, you could’ve sworn that you saw Taehyung in his child form, eating the candy that you gave him.

———

You regain consciousness after feeling someone shaking your shoulders. The first person you see is Suniya, bawling like a baby. When you opened your eyes, she froze, not sure about what to do next.

“Sun...Suniya?”

“Oh, thank god!” She hugs you tightly. “I was so scared that we lost you.”

You’re still in the woods. Though, the snow is beginning to melt and the sun is blaring down on your face. You look around to find all the townspeople surrounding you, including Kim.

“Jesus Christ, you gave all of us a fright, girl.” Margaret wipes her tears with her sleeve. “Goin’ out during the middle of a brutal blizzard. Are you insane?”

You look down at your hands, and they’re not trembling anymore. “I guess I am.”

It felt like a dream. In fact, every second you spent with Taehyung felt like a dream because of how fast time flew by. What you experienced in the cave, you don’t know if it actually happened.

You turn around, seeing that the cave is hollow. It’s a lot smaller than what you last remembered. The entrance is like a black hole, but it isn’t empty. But what’s better is that you don’t hear children crying anymore. You look back at the crowd, glancing at Kim who’s crossing her arms. One look and she knew that you overcame your trauma.

Suniya helps you up, putting your arm around her neck. Though your body is fine, your muscles feel weak.

“Come on, let’s go back and get you warmed up.”

“What the hell were you doin’ here, by the way?” Margaret asks.

“There’s just something that I needed to do...and I’m not done with it yet.”

[The End]

———

EPILOGUE

“Alright, next, I’m going to teach you how to make a campfire.”

You are standing in a circle around a bunch of kids. They’re wearing thick jackets with badges on them and have dark green hats with the symbol of a brown bear over a snowflake over them. They’re hugging their arms, shivering to the old.

“Do we have to make one now?”

“It’s too cold to do anything, Miss.”

“Can’t we just learn it back at the cabin?”

You shake your head. “The whole reason to make a campfire is to build it outside. Not only is the fire meant to keep you warm, but it also helps cook food and used as a light source.”

You grab some branches from the ground, wiping the snow off of it.

“You see how wet it is? It won’t make a good fire. It’s going to be difficult, but you need to find dry wood like this.”

You compare and contrast between the two, kicking snow off of the ground until you see dirt. You place the wood, taking out two rocks and creating friction to spark them. And just like that, you’re able to create fire. The kids stand around your campfire, awing at it as the flames rise.

However...the flames go out within seconds. “Oh…”

The children laugh. “What was that?”

“That was terrible!”

“Hold on, just give me one second…” You grab the wood to make a second attempt. “I swear it worked the first time.”

“Miss (Y/N), why are we camping during winter? Doesn’t girl scout camps happen during summer?”

“Yea! All my friends go during summer. My parents kept saying that this camp saves more money...but it’s unfair.”

“Well...let me tell you something. They can teach you all the methods of surviving during the summer, but almost every tip is thrown out the window when it’s snowing. I have a friend who used to be your age and didn’t know how to survive on his own in the winter. His mother abandoned him a long time ago and no one wanted to take care of him. So he was on his own.”

This gathers the attention of all the girls, so they surround you as you continue the story.

“He was starving and cold because he didn’t know the basics of survival, like making a campfire. He didn’t know how to fish nor did he know how to build a tent.”

“I hope she went to jail for abandoning her own child.”

“Why would his mother leave him?? That’s so messed up.”

“Sometimes, it’s not because they want to, but because they can’t. We’ll never fully know why she left him, but I think she did love him.”

“What? I think she hated him.”

“Because before she left him, she told him that he’s a strong boy. Maybe she left him because she knew that he'd survive. Of course, this is by no means a good method of parenting, but she had faith in her own son that he’ll make it through the winter.”

“I don’t think she cared about him,” one of the girl scouts crosses her arms. “Couldn’t he go to the police for help? They’re always there to help him find his home!”

“Yea, but it wasn’t that simple. You see, he was considered as...different, I guess you could say. People many years ago thought completely opposite from us, so no one wanted to help him.”

“Is he still alive?”

You fall silent, and this builds anticipation for your response. They draw closer to you, unable to handle the suspense.

“He’s still alive.”

They sigh in relief.

“Do you girls want to meet him?”

“Wait, can we??”

You nod. “He’s a little shy at first, but he’s super friendly.”

“How does he look like??”

“Hmm...he’s super tall,” you raise your arms up in the air. “And he has broad shoulders. His hair is so curly that it almost looks like cotton candy. He also has a mole under his nose and the most charming smile anybody has ever seen.”

You stare at the sky with dreamy eyes, and that’s when the girls understood the subtle hints. They elbow each other, giggling and covering their mouths.

But you’re clueless. “What’s so funny?”

“Do you have a crush on him, Miss (Y/N)?”

Your cheeks turn red, and they squeal with excitement. You press your knuckles on your lips as you become more flustered.

“Keep it a secret, but he’s my boyfriend.”

They scream, stunned that their leader has someone in her heart. You shush them, worried that their voices would disrupt the town’s peace.

“Di-did you guys do things...like kissing??” One girl whispers.

You nod, and they hide their screams behind their covered mouths. Then, you rub your stomach, feeling a lump. “Pretty soon, we’re gonna be a family.”

The girls have no idea what you meant, but they’re not at the age to learn about that yet.

“He’s the most important person in the entire world to me. He sleeps a lot, so I don’t get to see him that often, so every second I have with him matters until I get too old. Because of that, he’s afraid that one day when he opens his eyes, I won’t be there anymore. So, even if I’m gone, he’ll have enough friends that he won’t ever have to feel alone anymore.”

From behind a dead tree, you can see Taehyung hiding behind it. You snicker, certainly knowing that he heard the entire conversation. He’s probably trying to fight back his tears. Every time you visit him during winter, he would sob and express about how much he doesn’t deserve you. But since he went through decades of suffering, this is the least you can do to ease it.

You raise your head, pointing your direction to him. “Taehyung, would you like to sit with us?”

He peers his head over the tree, holding the bark gently while staring at the ground. He raises his eyes, trying his hardest to hide his smile.

“...Thank you.”

[End]

A/N: Thank you for everyone who read this, especially considering how long it is lol. I wanted to get this out during winter, but it took longer than expected ha ha. I hope you guys are all safe and healthy!! Don’t be afraid to leave any comments :) Have a beautiful day. ^^

Masterlist

[yentotajaan]

Repercussions II: Wasp’s Nest

Yen’to wandered up to the library with a sense of foreboding. The reason for the meeting was unclear, but with Khan anything was possible. As he entered the library proper, he spied Strega and Khan already present. Damn... thought I would have some moments of peace to prepare for the drunken rambling that is sure to ensue. They engaged in a bit of small talk as they waited, much to Yen’to’s annoyance, but it was not long before the others who saw the posting started filtering in. Annoyance shifted rapidly to surprise at the steadily increasing number of attendees: Alyona, Alaric, Kouronne, Silf, Luka, Ghost, Lalatua, and Ramius. A mixture of new and old employees.... but Alaric does not even work for Lady Faye, does he? How did Khan rope him in? 

The lingering questions were soon cleared up -  Ramius indicated that he was the one that called the meeting rather than Khan. Oh good... maybe this time the briefing will actually be coherent. A strange screen popped out of a device on Ramius’ back, some sort of video feed from one of his drones that apparently captured sight of a suspicious person frequently loitering in the hills around the Shroudrose. Ramius wanted everyone to go out and attempt to find, capture, and interrogate the suspicious target. There were transmissions that potentially linked him to Garleans. I would say this sounds easy enough, but every time I have said that the complete opposite was true. Nothing involving Khan is every that simple.

As they began leaving the Shroudrose grounds, it was not long before Ramius spotted someone suspicious on a path up a nearby hill, leaning against a tree. At his suggestion, they split up to approach from different directions and hopefully catch the person in a pincer. Yen’to took about half of the group while Ramius took the remainder, and upon his signal they approached a visibly panicking miqo’te. He could not be more suspicious even if he was trying...

The unlucky miqo’te was sweating and fidgety, and cracked under pressure almost immediately. As he was not so gently prodded for answers, some in the group began remarking that they smelled smoke. That is odd... did something spark out in the forest? It is not storming, though. The sounds of bells clanging and shouts from Wood Wailers began filtering in from the south, where smoke was streaming into the sky. What in the... that looks like houses are on fire! Before anyone could figure out exactly what was happening, the twang of bows being drawn nearby forced everyone to take cover. Arrows loosed found their target easily - the poor panicking miqo’te spy. Strega and Alyona attempted to keep him alive while Yen’to and Kouronne returned fire with their gun and bow.  Their targets were dressed like Wood Wailers, complete with wooden masks. Oh no... saboteurs?!

The two saboteurs went down quickly, a bit too dead to question. Ramius began picking up strands of chatter from the wounded spy’s linkshell, prompting him to scan for aether currents with his goggles. I swear, that man has a gadget for every occasion. The linkshell chatter made it clear that they were dealing with Garlean infiltrators. Yen’to barely had time to absorb this information before Ramius pointed them north. The band cautiously made their way forward before pausing at a bend in the path.

Half a dozen arrows whizzed by, forcing everyone to press up against the hill just before the bend in the path. Yen’to, Ramius, and Kourunne ran out to fire back at the archers, easily cutting the ambush short. Or so they thought. A shout came from the bushes nearby to “cut down the savages”, and more ‘wood wailers’ leapt out, flanking the party and trapping them in the middle of the path - lancers in the rear and more archers in the front. Damn it -- with the actual guards distracted by those fires we are on our own!

The fighting was brief but brutal. Yen’to yelped as an arrow embedded itself into his leg above the knee, avoiding the armored greaves he hoped would have protected him. Buckling down, he managed to level his rifle and return fire, felling his attacker. Most of the others managed far better, and the Garleans soon came to realize that underestimating tea house employees was a surprisingly bad idea. Lalatua used both fire and ice magic to great and terrifying effect, while Luka ended up burning and melting one of the wooden masks into a hapless soldier’s face. 

The other Garleans fell one by one, but they managed to also injure Alyona before being defeated. Most of the ambushers were dead, but a few laid wounded and moaning. As with the spy, Alyona called Khan over the linkshell to gather the wounded Garleans. Hmph, I say let them bleed out... but the dead do not give up secrets. Once again, Ramius utilized his goggles to pick up the trail and the group rushed in the direction of the ferry docks. Or all but Yen’to rushed, who could only do a hurried limp at this point.

As they approached the docks, they could see the Garleans’ sloop shrinking in the distance as it sped away. There was only one remaining boat at the docks,  with a goblin skipper drinking away the day nearby. He seemed wary at first of the anxious group, but a bag full of gil changed his tune. He promptly called over his own linkpearl to Khan that he was taking a break and that Khan could go fook himself. Oh gods -- this is Khan’s ship?!

The little sloop had seen better days, and seemed to be held together by little more than rusty nails, rotting boards, and pure hope. ... Do I also smell liqour? It had a black flag emblazoned with red glasses, reminiscent of the pair worn by Khan. A kobold on deck gave them a happy little wave and nonchalantly returned to swabbing the deck.  This... both makes complete sense and is utterly stupid. At the urging of Lalauta and Strega, Yen’to sat down to take the weight of his injured leg. Strega once again took the opportunity to stab him with a magitek medical device, despite their previous discussion about advance warnings. At the direction of Ramius, the others grabbed what they could to use as oars and employed aero magic in an attempt to catch up with their targets.

‘Their’ ship came within a few dozen yalms of the Garleans before a shout came from behind some rocks in the river, and another boat slipped out and sped in their direction. Seven hells, how many ambushes are we going to stumble into?! The party braced for impact, and the two boats soon collided and locked into place. Belting out war cries, the Garlean boarding party swarmed onto Khan’s floating coffin.

Yen’to had managed to stand by this point, and upon seeing a saber swinging his way he managed to block it with his armored gauntlet, then returned the favor by slamming the butt of his rifle into the man’s head like a club. Alaric had ripped off one of the boards from the deck to use as a makeshift weapon; a vhan below deck looked up through the hole and simply returned to whatever it was doing.  Uh... I hope that bit was not important. Ramius finished off the remaining Garleans with his quick-firing pistol, and managed to free the boats by cutting entangled ropes. 

Upon arriving at shore, they were met with a scene of carnage. Dockworkers and a few Wood Wailers were crumbled on the ground, seriously wounded but not yet dead.  A jumble of tracks led deeper into the woods. Alyona once again used the linkshell to inform Khan that there were wounded that needed tending, but his response was a complaint that it would take a while because someone had stolen his boat. ... Oops? Well, that is what he gets for being sloppy! One of the injured workers confirmed where the Garleans fled, and the group was soon hot on their heels.

The party caught up to the remaining Garleans soon enough, who were busy at work doing something near a patch of trees. They did not have long to observe the enemy before being spotted, and a Garlean officer called for his troops to form up. They did so with alarming speed and precision, and soon let loose a fusillade of bullets from their gunblades. Thankfully, their aim was not as precise as their formation but a few in Ramius’ group were still hit. Damn it... if I die here I am killing Khan!

The gloves were off now, and no mercy was to be given. Yen’to finally activated his machinist aetherotransformer and spewed a gout of flame from the end of his rifle towards an unfortunate clump of Garleans. The others did not hold back either, letting loose with their fiercest techniques to utterly obliterate their targets in a storm of explosions and fire. I almost feel sorry for the bastards.... almost. As the smoke cleared, it was made apparent what the Garleans had been concerned with - a secret door leading underground. 

Cautiously, the group made their way into the underground store room. It was unlit and barely any light made its way inside. Yen’to’s moon-keeper eyes quickly adjsuted to the darkness, but few of the others were so lucky. Lalatua used some aether to light up her staff, and what it revealed gave everyone pause.

There were numerous desks and cabinets filled with papers, and posters and flyers covered the walls alongside maps. Almost in a stupor, they fanned out to dig through the papers to figure out exactly what they were dealing with. It was worse than suspected. On the largest desk, there was a stack of flyers with names and brief descriptions, many from previous missions with Khan:

Faye Covington, Silf Silverwood, Mocking Bird, Yen’to Tajaan, Elyn Merielle, Mako, Strega, Deccan, Ramius Raske, Khuron Khan.

By the Twelve.... these are signed by tribunus Lucian. He knows so much! How?! Aside from Lucian’s signature, there were directives commenting on multiple phases and local assets. Some of the other posters had vaguely familiar sketches, but were lacking descriptions. Sensing time was of the essence, everyone gathered whatever they could carry and made haste back to the Shroudrose to disseminate the information later and lick their wounds.

All this from one little information gathering mission that went sideways almost a moon ago. If the Garleans do not kill us, Lady Faye just might.

https://yentotajaan.tumblr.com/post/635629242574602240/repercussions

@tough-bit-of-fluff​

@ramius-xiv​

@fair-fae​

@eorzeanharmony​

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Reviews: True North

The Golden Compass sucks. i saw that wet fart when i was younger, on a whim, and was thoroughly disappointed. Sh*t didn’t make a lick of sense to me. That film was my first introduction to the His Dark Materials and it soured me on the entire franchise. Like most of the movie-going crowd because it flopped like a fat man into a public pool. The thing abut that movie is that it felt like another entry into the Narnia Chronicles, and abhor that franchise. I’ve hated them since i was forced to read them when i was in the third grade. They were terrible, and that was before i become aggressively areligious. Afterward? Bro. Suffice it to say, when the BBC adaption was announced, it was hard pass for me. And then my mom got HBOMax.

I was seeing a ton of ads for season two, a strong focus on Lyra and John Parry. Th more i saw of those Youtube ads, i don’t watch television anymore, the more i became intrigued. Eventually, i bit the bullet and did some research on he show, itself. Yo, i was SO glad i opted to give this thing a chance. The cast was amazing. the principal characters, all some of my favorite actors but, more than that, the plot was mad intriguing. It was so clever and unique and so far removed from Narnia wank, it could be considered anti-Narnia almost. How the f*ck did that movie get so much wrong? Suffice it to say, i gorged on that first season like a fat kid gorges chocolate cake. I finished it last night and these are my impressions.

The Outstanding

First and foremost, i absolutely have to praise Dafne Keen in this, man. She is Lyra Silvertongue, heroine and main character of the entire Dark Materials series. This success of this show rests on the shoulders of the then fourteen year old and she carries that sh*t like a champ. There is a wit and wisdom that Lyra carries which belies her age and Keen taps into that effortlessly. She played Laura Kinney in Logan a few years back, keeping pace with Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine, so i knew she was skilled in her craft but i never imagined she’s be able to carry such demanding fair, so early in her career. I’d say she was the best thing about this show but that’s not really true. The level of quality in this thing is just that profound.

Ruth Wilson plays Marisa Coulter, Lyra’s mother, and, holy sh*t, is she incredible in the roll. Look, i love Wilson, even when she is in less than quality productions like The Affair. That show was bogus. What wasn’t bogus was her stint as Alice Morgan on Luther. I absolutely fell in love with her on that show and Ms. Coulter gives me all of the Alice vibes, just far more cruel. If Alice was calculating and aloof, the Coulter is deceitfully cruel and i love every second of it. You can tell there is a sadistic streak, straight up wrath, just below the surface and Wilson captures that skin deep veneer in a gently terrifying manner.

James McAvoy comes through and delivers yet again with his detached and insidious Lord Asriel Belacqua. It’s always a pleasure seeing this man do his job and, admittedly, he’s not in this first season much but the time that he is, McAvoy dominates. This is a desperate, desperate, man who knows he is right and will do anything to accomplish his goal. This single-minded drive reminds me so much of Sosuke Aizen from BLEACH and, like Aizen, Lord Asriel literally threw away everything to achieve that goal. It’s wild seeing Professor X go full Magneto and love it!

Line-Manuel Miranda is in this as the snarky Lee Scoresby, Texan Aeronaut, extraordinaire. Look, Manuel is a brilliant artist, i can’t take that away from him. He’s exceptional in Hamilton and on the stage but that’s a completely different skill set. There is a way you have to perform, to project, on stage that doesn’t translate to film and Manuel is still trying to get a handle on that. He’s not terrible in this role, mind you, but he’s just serviceable. However, the chemistry he has with Keen is something special. You can tell they get along strongly and that genuine interactions shines through in their performances together.

The rest of the cast is just as strong, specifically Kit Connor and Joe Tandberg as Pantalaimon and Lorek Brynison, respectively. Ariyon Bakare, Clarke Peters, Anne-Marie Duff, Lucian Msmati, Amir Wilson, Ruta Gedmintas, Will Keen, and Lewin Lloyd all turn in incredibly strong performances, for what they were given. A lot of these characters deserved a bit more screen time, a bit more fleshing out, but i am okay with what we did receive. This ain’t their story, it’s Lyra’s.

I just need to take some time and praise this show for how properly gorgeous it is. I mean, the level of production on this thing is rather profound, you knew that in the opening scene during the flood, but moreso as the world begins to expand. I know a lot of this stuff is filmed on sets and what not but, my goodness, are they elaborate and detailed. That whole arctic run was brilliant. It’s particularly intriguing when you understand how well the CG effects were used in regards to budget. The whole “show don’t tell’ adage definitely comes into effect for this serial and it’s all the better for it.

I am absolutely in love with the narrative, man. Never mind the actual plot in the books, the adaption presented is one of the best I've seen in a long a while. My goodness, the world being built is so enthralling, so captivating, i hate that i slept on this show, this series, for so long. I understand that this is one interpretation of the novel events but I'm still infatuated with every second of it.

The writing in this show is on point, for sure. It feels organic, it feels real. I know this is a series of books, decades old, but that goes a long way to proving the pedigree of this adaption. This doesn’t feel out of place or trite or try hard. It works beautifully, except for when Manuel is delivering dialogue outside of his scenes with Keen, and that is a real joy to watch.

There is a distinct focus on diversity displayed throughout this show so far and i love it. This is a reflection of the world in real time and more, big budget, shows need to show this reality. The difference between this and, say, Disney Star Wars or current Doctor Who, is the fact none of the representation in Materials feels forced. It feels organic, intrinsic to a story about entire worlds. You need this level of diversity for this story to be taken even remotely seriously in the modern day and i commend the production for handling this so well.

The Okay

I’ve never read the books so i can only judge this thing on what i glean from the wiki and what i see in the show. While i am completely smitten with what has been resented, the show feels like an abridged version of what we get in the books. I know for all adaptions that’s true but this feels like a legit highlight real of the greatest hits. I can’t say for sure but the adapted screenplay feels like it’s trying to load up on plot as much as possible, in as short a time as possible. Makes for an interesting view but, as a cat who understands storytelling, it feels like a patchwork of content.

This thing has some pretty brisk pacing. Again, i don’t know from where this first series is adapted but it definitely feels like they were in kind of a hurry to get. I mean, it really doesn’t but once sh*t gets started, it never looks back at all. It feels like that, at certain times, we should have definitely sent more time on an interaction or with a relationship. Lyra’s time in the Magisterial and Bolivar, particularly, seems rushed to me.

It’s uncomfortable how many times they make Dafne get naked. Obviously, they don’t show anything and it’s all inferred but, like, gross.

The Verdict

I loved this show, man. Absolutely adored every second of it. The BBC, when it really wants to, can produce some brilliant film. Luther, Sherlock, War of the Worlds, are all favorites and now His Dark Materials can be confidently added to that list. This show is gorgeous to watch, the production values on full display. Sweeping cinematic vistas both real and composite, permeate this rather cleverly effect heavy adaption. The performances, alone are enough to keep you coming back for more but this is, genuinely, one of the most gorgeous shows I've ever seen. Speaking of performances, everyone is excellent but the anchor is definitely Dafne Keen. Her Lyra Silvertongue is the linchpin of this entire show and she bares that weight brilliantly. I forget sometimes that she’s only fifteen, especially considering the talent she with whom she shares the screen. Ruth Wilson, James McAvoy, and Lin-Manuel Miranda all have capitol roles in this first season and they relish their time on camera, especially Wilson. I’ve been a fan of hers since that brilliant run on Luther as Alice Morgan so seeing her, here, has been giving me the best type of deja vu. His Dark Materials is f*cking outstanding, man. I can gush about this thing ad nauseam but this essay would definitely turn into a novel and no one wants that. If you have HBOMax, definitely give this a go. It’s one of the best shows out, has a full eight hours to binge in season one, and another four, so far, in season two. Sh*t is dope and i highly recommend a proper watch.

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY V8E4 LiveThoughts

And were back at it again, this week with turkey and Italian preserved sausage as a snack! Lets see what RT has for us this week.

Oh, 20 minutes. Are they normally this long?

Oh, wait, the openings almost 2 minutes long. Thats more like it.

And now to Robyn and Qrow. Seems Robyns actually liking Qrow a little bit now. 

Guess the cells aren’t secured if a fly got into Schnee’s. This a “Fly on Mike Pence’s face” reference?

Qrow sounds more growly again. Did he get smacked back two seasons by Clover dying?

If by “darkness” you mean “Tyrian” then, yes. Also dude, its Clover. He was shit anyway. All the Aces are shit. Dont feel too bad about him.

And he’s got a point too. If Clover had thought with his head instead of his dick (yes, Im sure they were gonna fuck, Fair Games totally a thing), he probably wouldnt be dead now, and Tyrian would be the one with the sword through his chest.

But of course this is RWBY and V7/8 so things cant go their ways.

Ouch. Deep thoughts of Qrow. And some interesting stuff from Robyn too. I still think I’d prefer hopeandharmonizing’s Briar, though.

Marrows glare gives me life. Hare’s just a moron right now though, but thats no real surprise. She’s immature emotionally.  Honestly, shes...kind of like a less bad version of our current President. Always has to be the best at everything, fastest, leader, whatever.

Thats probably why this is grating on her so much. Even though shes TECHNICALLY the Ace’s leader now (I think? Seemed like she was Clovers lieutenant, so by rate of succession she’s in command now)

A glance at the little floating control pad... “Clerance access only”. Okay, that...seems weird. Shouldnt it say something like authorized personell only? Maybe it means access by clerance only or something.

Then Robyn’s name, and then process ID 4591-27. No idea what thats useful for but its there.

Also Marrow seems to be the only competent member of the Aces rn. 

Ah now we get to see some of the hills around Atlas. For those of you who have seen my headcanons on the Hunter-Killers and their base of operations, Fortress Academy, its out in these hills somewhere.

The music sounds like a boss fight.

The screen on Ren’s hoverbike reads “HVB Rhino” and “HD5800″ I can only assume HVB stands for “hoverbike” and Rhino must be its name, like how the dropships are Mantas. No clue what the number is. 

Also apparently the cold in Solitas is so bad it corrupts machinery?

Ahh, good, some action. Lets see what we get now. Ohh, teamwork. And again, signs that aura allows you to move faster and farther than a normal human

Heh, it really is like a boss fight, like the chase scene at the end of the first Viking level in For Honor.

Oh, and it can call for reenforcements literally out of nowhere? Or is the whole tundra of Solitas just CRAWLING with Grimm?

Yes, yes it did just call for backup, Yang. Maybe these are all forward scouts and ambush units from the Grimmstorm. They did say its the biggest...

Another banger from Casey Lee Williams...

What the hell happened in Solitas to cause this geography? Seriously, its a line of bridges over a gap in two cliffs...that cant be natrual, not that equal in distance.

Man, those bikes didnt even last half an episode...I guess thats fair, they are facing obsurd odds. Or maybe they just want Yang to be the only one with a bike.

And there goes the dropwall. Woops.

Also you can just kinda see it but they bounce off the rock and thats why they slow down. Useful.

Also this part with them falling off the edge reminds me of the ending cutscene of Halo 4s Forerunner level, where Chief flies out of a portal and almost goes sailing off a cliff in a Ghost.  Except here, the bike stays on the land and THEY go off the cliff.

I paused at just the right time cause YANGS FACE XD

Holy shit what are Ren’s weapons cables MADE OF? The one atop him is holding him AND the weight of his two teammates. And the one below has both Jaune and Yang. No sign of slippage or breackage at all. 

Ahhh there’s the whaleship (Monstra? Fuck it Im gonna keep calling it the whaleship). So yeah my headcanon now is the mountain its right next too is Menachite, where Fortress is. 

Oh hey back to the Schnee manor of all things! Does...this mean military invasion of the Schnee grounds. Hey Whitley. Lesbians are here. 

Someone make a video cut of Weiss banging on the door to the “Knock knock open up the door its real!” part of that one song.

Hehehehhe. Nice Weiss.

Also convenient about the house staff. Good thing RT doesnt need to animate them or Willow now...

I hope the staff took some of the silverware and some paintings on the way out.

Why is MAY the one carrying Nora.

Ah so now they’re stuck out there with no cell service. Hehe.

Ah okay so the cold in Solitas DOES eat aura. Good, my headcanon still kind of stands. 

I wonder, does wearing proper cold weather clothing (like bundled up stuff) help? Or does it cut right through...

Why is JAUNE the one hauling the bike? Isnt Yang the strongest? Or maybe they take turns.

Ahhh inter-team talking. Also, outpost. Hmm. Atlas one? Overrun if I had to guess. Unless he saw Fortress. Which I doubt.

I do love the circling shot here, with the light on Yang’s hair and the shadows on Ren. Its...really artistic and emotional. GREAT WORK RT. 

Rens got points. And hes saying stuff I myself have been saying for ages, which is good. I wonder why this is how Ren is now...working with the Ace Ops? Being afraid of loosing Nora? No one tell him what happened last episode.

Also, Jaune’s hair seems to have gotten less crazy in recent episodes. It looks less like a banana and more like a close tactical cut.

Yangs got a point.

Ahhh and now we get to see the inside of the whale. 

SALEM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SHOWING THE FUCK OFF. SERIOUSLY. WE GET IT. 

...this is gonna be a really criingy torture section, isnt it.

Someones gonna take that “hound didnt break you” line in the WRONG direction 

It is amusing the only thing holding Oscar down is the Hound actually. 

Ah so they’re still searching the remains of Beacon.

Also I like how Salem calls them “her forces” as if its anything but a random bunch of expendable monsters. Like, bruh, you cant search anything with THAT.

Ignoring the boring chat between these two, notice how the Hound’s shoulder literally flexes and shifts when Salem touched it. I dont think this thing is solid at all aside from the head and the bone claws...the whole thing is just amorphous Grimm material that can adapt to whatever situation it requires. A specialist unit. A...Hunter hunter.

Yo what the fuck was that. Magic? Huh. Did we actually SEE magic for once in the show? Only took us 8 FUCKING SEASONS...

Doesnt seem to be anything but an energy blast/pain never firing though. I assume his auras still gone, cause its completely singed his shirt, but it didnt do much else.

...Im not impressed.

She really needs to stop touching his face, its creeping me out.

HAHA SHE CANT DO IT HERSELF SHE HAS TO RELY ON HAZEL BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. I think we know where she stands now, doesnt she...say what you will about her letting Hazel have his vengeance (which is very valid, even he admits hit), but me? I think she A) cant actually beat up on Ozma herself because she still cares and B) shes almost out of magic too. Its weakened as the Gods have been gone and shes been forced to rely on the Grimm and on pawns. Basically, once she and Oz are both gone? That’s it for magic. Remnant will belong to the Grimm...and to technology. 

At which point without Oz around to hold them back Atlas is going to go fucking BONKERS and basically ensure the Grimm get pushed back into a corner and then finally permenantly STAMPED OUT.

More Whale insides. Seems like most of its empty grandious spaces. Or possibly muscle? Hard to tell. Either way theres a lot of open air in there...with tight corridors. If you fired a thermobaric warehead into one of the chambers the resulting blastc could possibly blow the doors off and send a raging fireball through the entire thing...Hmm. Filing that away for later.

NEO IS SO SHORT ITS FUNNY TO ME. I know its just positioning BUT SHE LOOKS EVEN SHORTER IN THIS SHOT THAN USUAL.

More note on the Hound; the “flesh” around its right shoulder spike actually sinks down when it stops moving. Its neck shifts and moves too, like the material isnt solid, but recirculating.

I also dont see any eyes. And it looks like it has some kind of...forehead mouth? Def looks like teeth down the ridge of its spine.

Oh boy yeah that...whole thing is basically melting in on itself.

I wont lie; hearing Cinder get berated by CORTANA (and yes, I still hear Cortana in Salem, espeically now that the two characters are kind of one and the same, both megalomaniacal leaders of giant armies, bar the fact that one of them is about a TRILLION times more dangerous than the other because one of them has access to Guardian Custodies and the other one is...well kind of lame and has to have beefy dudes beat up on small children etc) is pleasing to me. 

Get fucked, Cinder.

And THERE is Cortana again too.

Neo Marry Popins’s Ya’lling is fucking CUTE. And I love her little smirk.

Wait the whale’s that close?

..oh my...hold on.

...thats it. THATS ATLAS’S AIR FLEET!?!

12 AIRSHIPS? 12? EXCUSE ME!?

ARE YOU LEGITAMETLY TELLING ME THE BIGGEST MILITARY ON REMNANT HAS FEWER AIRSHIPS THAN THE SMALLEST NAVY ON EARTH HAS FRIGATES? YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT? THERE HAS TO BE MORE SOMEWHERE. THIS IS A JOKE, A STRAIGHT UP FUCKING JOKE.

...

No, thats...thats it. Thats Atlas’s airfleet. 12 tiny vessels. I swear it was bigger last season...

...HA! HAHA! HA! Oh, Ironwood, and Atlas as a whole...you deserve everything your about to get. I hope you die SCREAMING, and that when your bodies fall bleeding and shattered to Mantle, the people down there will realize that, no. You cant just assume Hunters will do all the work for you

THIS IS REMNANT. ITS KILL OR BE KILLED. YOU EITHER MAKE A FORCE POWERFUL ENOUGH THAT THE GRIMM RUN FROM YOU  OR YOU DIE INSTEAD. ATLAS FAILED. NOW THEY SUFFER.

Emerald stop simpin.

Also that is...the SHITTEST outpost...I have ever seen in my life. My overall thought process of Atlas is...sinking even LOWER than before. 

Though it seems more like a waystation. Bed, Dust, some dudes coat on it. Dead heater. Its probably a rest spot for Specialists out in the tundra.

Ren does the emo sit. Lol. Yang even says it. Brood himself to death.

Alright whats this now...something forcing itself out of the tundra?

And thats it for today! Cool ass concept art at the end there too. 

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 24

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 7,564

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

When I awoke, Mother was gone. It made sense, seeing as how daylight was streaming in through the bedroom window now and I could hardly have expected her to stay all night with me. She'd probably left not too long after I'd nodded off.

Part of me wondered if she had ever really been there in the first place or if I had simply dreamed the whole thing up. It'd all just been so weird. Mother hadn't been that… well, motherly towards me in over a decade. It was a long lost part of our relationship that I'd dearly missed, so I wouldn't have put it past my subconscious mind to cook something like that up while I was dreaming especially now that I was back in my childhood bedroom where such old memories could be sparked. But no, I was still in my dress I'd worn for dinner yesterday evening and I wouldn't have gone to bed without changing first, not unless Mother had actually been here.

But that still begged the question: why her sudden and unexpected change in behavior after all this time?

Maybe… it had something to do with the wedding? Maybe me running out on it and disappearing for weeks without a word had taken its toll on her even more so than I'd ever realized? If so, then her little visit last night had probably just been a… a moment of weakness, and a fleeting one at that. Why else would she have waited until we were away from Father's and Grandfather's prying eyes? Once we were back around them, not to mention the rest of the family, her usual mask would probably be firmly back in place again. She would be prim and proper, cold and reserved, just like she'd been for years now and it would be like those precious few moments last night had never happened.

...or maybe I was being overly pessimistic. Maybe now I had an ally in Mother where I'd previously thought to have had none. Maybe The Talk™ tomorrow wouldn't be as bad as I feared, not if I had her and Anna on my side.

But honestly, who knew? Who ever knew anything really when it came to my family? I certainly didn't. Not anymore. Not for a long time.

All I could do was wait and see and hope the anxiety didn't murder me in the meantime.

I climbed out of bed, grimacing at my reflection in the vanity mirror, at what a rumpled mess my dress had become overnight. This was the second time this week I'd slept in a garment that wasn't meant to be slept in. This was dangerously on the verge of forming into a habit. I really needed to stop. Sighing, I started walking towards my luggage so I could dig out something fresh to wear. However, I was halted in my tracks by a knock at my door.

I hesitated in answering it, giving my appearance another once over in the mirror.

This time, my reflection responded with a wrinkle of her nose.

Ugh, everyone's a critic.

Ah well, there was nothing for it. No amount of hand smoothing would make this dress fit to be seen and I wasn't about to make whoever it was wait for me to change. Tossing my frazzled braid back over my shoulder, I moved towards the door and opened it just wide enough for me to poke a head out.

"Mornin', El!" Lea beamed down at me, looking far more presentable than I on day two of his whole rebel-without-a-cause aesthetic he had going on.

I smiled back with a soft, "Good morning."

Dipping into a bow, he swept a hand out to one side, "I've come to escort thee to breakfast forthwith, m'lady."

"My my, we'll make a gentleman out of you yet," I hummed a chuckle.

He scoffed with a big theatrical sniff. "My word, I say, perish the fucking thought!"

"Shoot, you were this close," I snorted with a shake of my head. "Just give me a quick minute to change."

Before I could shut the door however, he stopped me with his hand lightly snagging mine. "But why? You already look as gorgeous as ever this morning."

I stubbornly ignored the tiny flutter I felt inside my ribcage. Didn't he realize it was a bit silly to be pulling the whole googly-eyed boyfriend routine when it was just the two of us? Maybe he was just getting into character early before we went down into the dining room. I rolled my eyes, "Oh yeah, gorgeous enough to make Mother pale, Father choke, and Grandfather faint."

Smirking, Lea said, "All I'm hearing are a ton of pros and a whole lotta nada for the cons column."

My eyelids drooped but before I could reply, there was a sudden shout from down the hall, "Ah-ha! There you are!" A blur zoomed towards us, attaching itself to Lea's arm.

Or rather, herself, seeing as how it was Anna.

So… the prodigal sister had at last graced me with her presence.

"I thought I might find you here," she grinned up at Lea, who just blinked down at her in response. Then she directed that grin my way, "Hi, Sis! Bye, Sis! Alright, big guy, let's go!" She charged off once more, dragging Lea with her. Or rather… she tried to anyway. But I imagine Lea could be quite the anchor when he didn't want to move, so instead the hold she had on his elbow ended up snapping her back like a rubberband.

I quirked an eyebrow at her. "What's the rush, Anna?"

"Yeah, short stuff, where's the fire?" Lea asked.

"We gotta get you ready!" Again, she gave another tug of his arm.

Again, he didn't budge. "For…?"

"For a beautiful day out on the water," she stated as if it were obvious. We both stared at her blankly and she huffed. "We're going yachting!"

Both eyebrows shot up Lea's forehead. "We? As in you and me?"

"And Elsa," she added, stomping over to Lea's other side and pressing her shoulder into his arm, trying to shove him into moving. It was kind of like watching a chihuahua attempt to out muscle a great dane. Just as effective too. Panting from the exertion, she tacked on, "And Maren and Ryder too."

"Oh, okay," Lea nodded, then frowned. "...and Maren and Ryder would be?"

"Our cousins," I said before furrowing my brow at Anna. "Wait, they're here? Since when?"

"Since an hour ago," she grunted, still pushing all her weight against Lea and getting nowhere, her feet sliding and scraping against the carpet. "Auntie Yelena showed up early with them. Now Mom and Dad want to shoo us young'uns out of the house so we won't be in the way while this whole place is turned upside down by party prep chaos. So," she paused, red-faced and puffing for breath before brightening, "figured we could take Daddy's yacht out for a lil spin!"

Lea cocked his head, "Still don't get why you're trying t- oof, hey now!" David (aka Anna) had managed to catch Goliath (aka Lea) off guard by ramming her shoulder into his side, forcing him to stagger a step. "-why you're trynta kidnap me," he finished in a grumble.

Stepping back from him, she crossed her arms and fixed him with a dull stare. "...did you pack swim shorts?"

"Well no, but I didn't know we were gonna-"

"Exactly!" she cried triumphantly, latching onto his elbow once more. "So we're gonna go borrow you some from Ryder!"

"You coulda just said that in the firs-" his words were swallowed in a yelp as she suddenly bolted, this time managing to haul Lea tripping and stumbling behind her.

"Be ready to go in fifteen minutes, Sis! Meet us in the driveway! See ya there!" Anna's voice echoed down the corridor back towards me in their wake.

I called after her, "But breakfast-"

"We'll pick something up on the way!"

...she was still acting so very strange.

Sure, she was always a ball of energy, but normally she'd let me talk more than that before making a break for it. It'd almost felt like she couldn't get away from me fast enough. I knew she'd been in a hurry, but getting Lea seaworthy hardly called for the state of emergency she was making it out to be.

Now more than ever, I was determined to get to the bottom of her odd behavior. Luckily for me, Anna had slipped up and made the error of trapping us on a boat together for the next several hours. And even if said boat was a yacht, there still weren't exactly a lot of places for her to hide from me on it.

She couldn't possibly keep avoiding me there.

My mistake.

Anna very well could keep avoiding me here and in fact had been doing so successfully for the past hour. It was not a matter of whether or not she had places to hide so much as she just never seemed to stay still for more than ten seconds. She'd always kind of been the cartoon Tasmanian Devil given human form, but now she was that on friggin' steroids. Just a constant whirl of chaos that was always on the move.

"I'm flying, Jack!"

Then, of course, there was the fact that I had to put up with this dork.

I hung my head with a sigh from my position behind Lea, my hands gingerly holding his hips as he stood proudly at the bow of the yacht with his arms spread out wide to either side of him. "You know, this wasn't exactly what I had pictured when you said you wanted to reenact that one scene from Titanic."

He glanced over his shoulder at me with a toothy grin. "You wanna swapsies? I can let you be Rose for a bit!"

"...I'm good, thanks."

"Suit yourself! You're seriously missing out though," he shrugged, stepping down off the raised rim of the boat and onto the cushioned bench seating, using it like a staircase to get himself to the floor. The salty breeze played with his shirt on his way down - a very loose short-sleeved button-up that only had one button fastened in the middle, so peeks at his muscled torso were not uncommon and could be rather, hrm… distracting. The swim trunks he'd borrowed from my cousin were just shy of his knees and were a deep red with black silhouettes like palm trees at sunset.

His flip-flops hit the deck and he spun around, offering me a hand to help me down as well. Smiling my thanks, I gripped the wide brim of my beach hat with one hand while the other took his. My strappy sandals landed on the hardwood beside him, careful not to step on the hem of my long, strapless cover-up dress made of a thin, billowy white fabric that barely hinted at the blue two-piece I wore underneath it. It was a beachwear ensemble I'd left behind at my parents' home years ago. A good thing too since like Lea, I hadn't exactly planned for a yacht outing when packing my bags for this weekend.

"So," Lea chirped as he released my hand, "now that we've gotten that important and thoroughly pressing bit o' business outta the way, what's next on our lil agenda?"

My lips pursed to one side before I decided, "Let's try and find Anna."

Though there was really no try about it. Finding her wasn't the hard part. Getting her to stay and actually talk to me was. Still, I was on a mission!

Mission Make Anna Open Up About Whatever The Heck Her Problem With Me Is.

...I really needed to get better at naming these things.

As I turned to give a quick glance around the yacht, first person I spotted was Maren - short for Honeymaren, but she hated the name with a bloody passion and did her best to bury that info in the hopes that it would never again see the light of day. She stood not far off next to the ship's mini bar under the shade of the awning. Her dark hair was pulled back into a braid and she was sporting a purple swimsuit with a matching sarong.

The thing that stood out most however were the cheap, plastic star-shaped sunglasses currently perched on the bridge of her nose. They were particularly eye catching given that, one, she hadn't had them on a moment ago and, two, they were probably just about the last things one would expect to see her wearing. She seemed just as surprised to discover them on her face as I was, given the way she removed and squinted at them with a bemused smirk.

I could hear Lea's flip-flopping footsteps following behind me as I walked towards her. Arching an eyebrow, I pointed at the things, "Where'd those come from?"

"Ask Lil Miss Sunglasses Fairy over there," she laughed, popping them back on before jerking a thumb over her shoulder towards the helm. There Ryder stood manning the steering wheel in his yellow, turtle-print trunks, the sunlight gleaming off his short black hair. It looked like he too had recently received a visit from this so-called Sunglasses Fairy, for he was now (quite bewilderedly) modeling a pair of shades with big, cartoony red lips for frames.

Ah, and here the Sunglasses Fairy herself came now, her auburn pigtail braids flapping wildly about as she skipped towards us in her bright green bikini and boyshorts. Not to be left out of the latest fashion trend of her own making, Anna had on a pair herself shaped like flowers. And in her hands were-

"For you, oh dearest Sis of mine, I've saved the best for last!" she happily declared, sliding the shades with neon pink heart lenses onto my nose.

Joy.

Lea looked down at me and snerked, biting back a grin.

Boy didn't know how close he was to getting his arm pinched for such impudence.

Anna gave a small pout, "Sorry, Lea, but I only have four."

"No problemo. El and I can just share," he chuckled, stealing mine and donning them himself, waggling his eyebrows at me as he leaned back and propped his elbows against the boat railing.

Ugh, I wasn't sure what was more annoying: that he actually looked pretty good in them or the fact that he knew it and was being smug about it.

"Charming," I deadpanned before looking back at Anna. "Where'd you even get these silly things from?"

"Oh, I bought them all ages ago from one of those shack shops by the dock," she tossed a hand back towards the shoreline. "I've been keeping them hidden away for a special occasion."

My head tipped to one side. "...and that special occasion would be?"

She tapped a finger to her chin, "Hmm… Ah! National Fun In The Sun Day, of course!"

I gave her a flat look. "That is neither national nor an actual holiday."

"Is too!" Her chest puffed up as she planted her fists on her hips, "I'm the captain of this here dinghy and what the captain says, goes!"

"You can't just make up holidays, that's not how captains work," I crossed my arms.

"Yeah-huh! I'm the captain and I say so!"

"But-" I stopped myself, pinching the bridge of my nose. Just let it go, Elsa, otherwise we'll just keep going around in circles like this all day. "Nevermind. I was hoping, Captain, that maybe you and I could have a minute to-"

"Move over, Ryder! It's my turn to steer!"

Annnnd off she zipped again.

I had half a mind to chase after her but with the way things were going, I feared she might swan dive off the side of the yacht just to get away from me.

"What's wrong, El?" Lea frowned before taking off the heart shades and offering them to me. "Want these back? I hear rose-colored glasses make everything better."

I mustered a weak smile at that, arms hugging myself as I leaned back against the metal rail beside him and muttered, "Thanks but no thanks."

Perching the sunglasses atop his head now, he asked, "Seriously, why the long face?"

"...it's Anna," I grimaced, reaching for a tendril of my ponytail to twist between my fingers as I watched Ryder join his sister at the mini bar. They were just barely out of earshot so I couldn't hear whatever they were laughing and shaking their heads over. "She's mad at me or… something, I don't know. All I know is she won't talk to me, not really. Every time I try, something always comes up and she runs off."

Lea glanced towards where Anna stood valiantly at the helm, one hand holding the steering wheel steady while the other shielded her eyes against the sun. "Huh… now that ya mention it, it does seem like she's been avoiding you, doesn't it?"

"You've noticed it too?" So it wasn't all just in my head. Not sure if that made me feel better or worse.

"Maybe a lil," he nodded. Pushing himself off the rail, he turned to stand in front of me now. "But mad? Nah, I don't think so. She seems far too chipper for that." Lea rubbed a curled finger to his chin, "Maybe she's actually sad about something but doesn't wanna worry you so is just… trying to put on a brave front? Or she could have something important she wants to talk to you about but is too scared?"

"But that's ridiculous, Anna knows she can always talk to me about anyth-"

"Hard to starboard!" came a sudden shout from my sister before she jerked the wheel into a spin.

The yacht whipped around in a sharp turn, throwing Lea into a stumble towards me. I gasped, bringing up a hand to stop him while turning my head away and squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for impact.

But it never came.

Cracking open one eyelid then the other, I discovered he'd managed to catch himself by grabbing the railing to either side of me.

"Whew!" he grinned, looming mere inches over me, "That was close!"

...wait… my hand was still raised… and touching… something…

I slowly, reluctantly lowered my gaze towards it.

Only to have my face all but burst into flames and practically blast steam out of my ears.

For behold! There, my hand, in all its brazen glory, had found its way into Lea's unbuttoned shirt and that was without a doubt a big, heaping helping of man boob it was groping right now.

...very nice, delightfully sculpted man boob. Firm yet… soft, somehow? No, soft wasn't the right word… ah, supple! Yes, that was what I-

Now was not the time to be debating word choice!

Not while my friggin' hand was still on his bare friggin' chest.

Gah, what was wrong with me?! I really needed to stop sexually harassing the guy who had zero interest in dating at the moment!

Okay, remain calm, Elsa. Maybe he hasn't even noticed it yet. Maybe if I just discreetly removed it, he'd never even have to know it'd been there in the first place. Alright, easy does it… careful now, just take it one small step at a time… first lift the palm off… okay, good! Now the thumb… perfect. And up goes the pinky… then the next one… and the next… just the index finger to go-

Oh. My. God. Did I just goddamn trail my fingertip down his skin?! Pretty sure I'd trailed it. No, not trailed, I'd caressed! Caressed! Great. Just dandy! If he hadn't realized where my hand was before, he sure as hell knew now!

My eyes shifted about desperately.

Oh, this was uncomfortable. Quick! Do something to make it less awkward!

I looked him dead in the eye, brought up my hand and poked him in the nose with a tiny, "Boop!"

Nailed it.

Lea blinked. Then he gave a little snort, one corner of his lips curling up. "What was that?"

A clever and artful distraction, duh. One that was clearly working too, so ha!

"What do you mean, what was that?" I mumbled, hitching my chin and averting my gaze. "It was a nose boop, what else?"

His grin twitched wider. "Well, yeah, I could see that. What I meant was why?"

I couldn't help but notice he was still really close. That he still hadn't let go of the railing yet, keeping me trapped between his body and it. Clearing my throat, I said defensively, "You just have a very… boopable nose, is all."

"...is that so?" he murmured, eyes crinkling as he pressed his forehead to mine.

Dear lord, his rent-a-boyfriend act would be the death of me.

"Yo! Elsa!"

Thank goodness! Cousins to the rescue!

Closing his eyes, Lea exhaled softly before spinning around and shifting over to rest back against the steel rails beside me once more just as the two of them approached us. "Is it true?" Ryder asked excitedly, eyes bright behind the lip-glasses he'd yet to take off as he stirred his mimosa. "Do you really sell mall ice cream now?"

I winced slightly. "Oh… you know about that?"

"Avast ye landlubbers!" Anna's voice rang out again as she continued to pilot the yacht. "Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen!"

"You kidding?" Maren snerked, taking a sip of her bloody mary and ignoring my sister. "Once the Duke found out, the whole family found out. You know how that old coot loves to run his mouth to anyone who'll listen."

"So it is true!" Ryder beamed. "At an Ice Palace, right? The place with that kickass reindeer mascot?"

"Um…" I furrowed my brow. He seemed oddly enthusiastic about this. "...yes?"

He pumped a fist, "Awesome! Love the place! Their ice cream is so good and all their commercials are hilarious! Have you seen their new one with all the reindeer singing a frigging rock ballad?"

Even with the star-shades, Maren's eye roll was plain as day. "You and your strange obsession with reindeer."

"What? They're cute!"

"Whatever, I just can't with you right now," she held up a hand in his face as she took a sip from her drink, looking at me again. "Seriously though, you ran out on your wedding, on your whole sweet cushy life… just so you could sell ice cream?"

"Land ho! Thar she blows!" Anna again.

Holding onto my hat so it wouldn't blow away as the wind picked up, I frowned. "Well… that wasn't exactly why I left…"

"But that's what you did," she insisted, eyebrows lifting with her tiny grin. "Do you even know about all the chaos that erupted after you turned up missing?"

I swallowed hard. I could feel Lea's fingers fiddling with a lock of my ponytail, but I hardly noticed it as I bit down on my bottom lip and shook my head. "Was it bad?"

"Aw man, the whole place went nuts after you pulled your vanishing act! You shoulda been there!" Ryder laughed before squinting skyward. "Although… I guess if you had been there, none of it would have happened." He shrugged, taking a big swig of his mimosa. "Anyway, it was wild! Our family was yelling, his family was yelling, a flower girl was bawling, the giant ice swan sculpture got knocked over and shattered into a bajillion pieces, a bridesmaid punched a groomsman, the-"

"Wait," I interrupted him, my eyebrows knit together as my gaze shifted over to Maren. Besides Anna, who'd been my maid of honor… "Weren't you my only bridesmaid?"

She smirked, lazily lifting a shoulder before letting it fall. "What can I say? I live for anarchy."

"Batten down the hatches! Swab the deck or it's straight to Davy Jones' locker with the lot of you!" It seemed Anna was really getting into character now.

"The butterflies," Ryder eagerly jumped back into the conversation right where he'd left off, "were released on accident at the same time the doves somehow got free as well and, oh man, the carnage! It was epic!"

My hands were fidgeting with each other. I had no idea when they'd started. My chest was beginning to burn and constrict.

"I still can't believe it," Maren wrinkled her nose in glee, chewing on her straw. "You ditching a guy at the altar. You, of all people. You've always been such a goody-goody. So well-behaved, so polite, so disgustingly perfect. Just goes to show you, I guess… it's always the sweet, innocent, quiet ones who'll surprise you."

Fidget, fidget, fidget.

It was getting harder to breathe.

"A total bloodbath!" Ryder was still going. "I mean, did you even know doves ate butterflies? Cuz I didn't! But those poor little guys never even stood a chance! Tiny insect guts were flying everywhere! Seriously... Best. Wedding. Ever."

"Heh-hey!" Lea suddenly piped up. "Are all these swimsuits just for show or we gonna," he clicked his tongue, jerking a thumb towards the water, "dive on in?"

He was taking the attention off me. I shot him a grateful if somewhat shaky smile. His arm slipped around my shoulders, giving them a small, reassuring squeeze as he rested his cheek against my hair.

"Please," Maren sniggered, "like we'd actually swim in the lake."

"Watch and learn, dude," Ryder grinned as he moved over to the plush seating that circled the edge of the ship's bow and pushed a button on a panel behind its backrest. The massive, seemingly decorative circle that was etched into the center of the foredeck began to hum and slide under the rest of the floor, revealing the hot tub underneath. Striking up a finger, Ryder then pushed a second button, this one turning on the jets.

"Ooo," Lea nodded in appreciation, "a jacuzzi that appears as if by magic. My my, how the other half lives." Then he huffed out a snort through his nose, "Leave it to the rich to find a way to take a soak in the middle of a lake without actually having to get in the lake."

Ryder scrunched up his face, "Lake water's gross."

Pointing at the hot tub, Lea said, "You do realize the more people get in that thing, the more it's just a boiling vat of human juices, right?"

"Thanks for that," Maren gave a mock gag before tossing her chin towards the edge of the boat. "What're you waiting for then? Lake's right there and all yours, Stretch."

"No thanks," leaving my side, Lea walked over to the ledge of the jacuzzi to dip a toe in. "Bring on the person stew! 'Sides, not every day I get to hop into a yacht hot tub. Wouldn't wanna miss out."

Setting his now empty glass down, Ryder said, "Not every day you get to steer the yacht either. Whaddya say, my man, want to give it a go?" He pointed towards the helm.

As if on cue, Anna bellowed, "Ready the cannons, ye scallywags, lest we be dead in the water!"

Lea gave me a quick glance and I shrugged. He scratched the back of his head, "Uh… sure! Why not? Be right back, boo!" He planted a swift peck to my forehead before transferring his pink sunglasses back to my nose. "If ya need me, just shoot me the heart-eyes with these and me n' my boopable nose'll come running."

I huffed and shoved his shoulder, "Just try not to crash us into anything." Fighting the upward tug I felt at one side of my mouth, I added more quietly, "Have fun."

"Always do," he winked before turning to follow Ryder towards the stairs that lead to the upper deck.

"Shall we?" Maren then asked, tossing her sarong to the bench as she stepped down into the hot tub.

I hesitated, glancing over my shoulder. Normally, I wasn't self-conscious about being seen in my swimsuit. But then, normally only people who were related to me ever saw me in it. The one exception there of course being my ex, but I'd never been awkward about it in front of him either. I'd never really been… anything about it. But now, oddly the idea of Lea seeing me in my swimsuit, it just… well, I don't know… did weird things to my pulse and made my skin tingle. It wasn't a bad feeling, per se… I wasn't quite sure what it was really.

In any case, the boys looked to be engrossed in a heated debate with Anna currently. It seemed the self-proclaimed captain wasn't quite ready to give up her post at the wheel yet. None of those three were even looking this way.

"...alright," I said at last, slipping out of my cover-up and letting it fall to the deck. Putting my hat down on top of the small pile of fabric as well, I lowered one foot in into the water, followed by the other before hastily taking a seat, letting the bubbling warmth engulf me up to my shoulders.

Stretching and luxuriating in the jacuzzi, Maren's glass dangled between her fingertips as she idly swirled about what was left of her bloody mary inside it. "I can see why you did it."

A crease formed between my eyebrows as I gave her a sideward glance. "Did what?"

"Got the hell outta Dodge before the first note of Here Comes the Bride could even chime out the organ," she smirked, sticking the straw into the corner of her mouth.

My lips pinched. "I thought you'd already established it was to sell ice cream," I grumbled, lifting the sunglasses to sit atop my hair now since the absurd heart lenses were already fogging over from all the steam.

She gave an amused scoff, setting her empty glass down on the rim of the hot tub. "I said that's what you did, but we both know that wasn't why. Not unless ice cream is roughly six foot seven, has green eyes to die for, and is rocking a smokin' hot bod."

"Oh…" I cleared my throat. Was my face turning red? Psh, that was just the jacuzzi. I think heat was cranked up a little too high in here, in fact. Yeah, that had to be it. I laughed nervously, "What can say I? He just, er… stole my heart."

Atta girl, way to sell the lie.

...that... was a lie… right?

What am I saying, of course it was! All I had was a crush. A simple, meaningless crush, nothing more.

Anna had finally retreated to the mini bar where she was sulking as she mixed herself a drink, so Ryder had set Lea up at the wheel, who was nodding at everything he was told. Maren removed her star-shades, gently biting down on one of the earpieces as her eyes drifted towards the helm. I wasn't particularly a fan of that sly little curve to her lips as she watched him. "Mmm, I bet that's not all he stole."

A small, incredulous splutter escaped me. "Maren," I scolded, splashing some water at her.

She snerked. "All I'm saying is I don't blame you. I myself would've given up a Prince Charming fiancé worth his weight in gold and risked any claim to my family fortune, all for one steamy summer fling with that hunky pizza boy over there."

Okay fine, no use denying it anymore. This thing my face was doing? Definitely a blush. "Don't you have a girlfriend?" I muttered, eyes darting about.

"Sure do and she is my world, my moon and my stars, my everything!" she beamed. Then her eyebrows bounced, "Still… doesn't mean I can't admire the view every once and awhile."

"Well stop admiring," I harrumphed, narrowing my gaze down at the frothy water.

"That's adorable! You really do like this one, don't you," she cooed, pinching my cheek. I just rolled my eyes and swat her hand away. "Hope you weren't too attached to your hat, by the way."

"My…?" I blinked. "Why?"

She pointed, "Cuz there it goes."

Sure enough, a gust of wind had come along to scoop it up and carry it off, only to let it plummet once it'd escaped the confines of the yacht.

"Cap overboard!" Ryder called out, cupping a hand to his mouth.

"I'll get it!" Lea grinned, already kicking off his flip-flops. Before any of us could react, he took off running, launching himself up onto the guard rail and diving into the waters below.

I inhaled sharply as I shot up to my feet. "Your boy is crazy!" Ryder was cackling as he steadied the abandoned steering wheel and shut off the ship engine. Maren whooped and clapped while a giggling Anna rushed to the edge, leaning over the metal bars to look for him.

I just hoped that big dummy didn't get knocked unconscious by the rudder cracking his skull open or something! All over a stupid sun hat, no less!

Thankfully, it wasn't long before Anna was throwing up her hands and cheering, which I took to be a good sign as I released the breath I'd been holding. Next thing I knew, Lea came rising up the ladder attached to the side of the boat, wet hair slicked back and the brim of my cap between his teeth so his hands were free for climbing. Clearing the last few rungs, he hopped onto the deck and grabbed the hat out of his mouth, hissing, "Shit, that water's cold! Brr, nearly froze my ass off!"

...or at least, I think he'd said something like that.

It was hard to be sure really. My eardrums seemed to be on the fritz while all my focus now directed itself towards his shirt. His sopping, soaking wet shirt. It was clinging to the chiseled contours of his abs in a way that was rather, ah… fascinating. Not to mention see-through. Yes, very, very much so. It was actually kind of beautiful, in a way. Majestic, really. Quite the sight to behold and-

-and fudge, I was staring.

Staring at him, who was staring at me.

Me, who was still standing in the jacuzzi and flaunting my two-piece like I was the friggin' star of Baywatch.

I sat back down so fast, water splashed over onto the deck behind me. Yes, oh blessed jacuzzi bubbles, cloak me in your warm, protective embrace. Face heated and eyes not quite able to meet his, I stammered out a quick, "Th-thank you."

"Of… of course! Happy to!" Lea said brightly. Huh… was he getting a bit of a sunburn? He started to walk forward with a goofy, lopsided grin, holding the hat out towards me, "Here ya g-"

Apparently misjudging where the ledge of the hot tub was, he stumbled head first into it with us. I jolted in my seat and Maren half shrieked, half laughed as water exploded everywhere. As soon as he resurfaced and was coughing up water, I asked, "Are you okay?!"

"Fine! Nothing bruised 'cept my pride. Wanna smooch it all better?" he snickered, leaning in close and making loud kissy noises. Eyelids drooping, I just put my hand on his face and shoved him away. Still chuckling, he once more offered me my now thoroughly drenched hat. "Believe this is yours, m'lady?"

I hid a smile behind my fingers. "My hero," I said dryly, taking it from him and setting it aside on the hardwood once more. Surely it was too waterlogged at this point to fly off again.

"Yoink," he plucked the heart-shades off me so he could wear them himself once more. "Mind if I join you gals?" he chirped, standing up in the jacuzzi to remove his soggy shirt. I did my best not to ogle him this time.

The same couldn't be said for Maren as she smirked up at him. "Would seem you already have, Slim."

He cocked an eyebrow at her as he took a seat at my side. Then he was bending towards me, muttering in a low voice, "Uh… should I be nervous about the way your cousin is looking at me?"

I snorted, turning and leaning in close so I could return the whisper into his ear, "Ignore her." Lea seemed to give a small shiver, but that wouldn't make sense. It was very hot in this jacuzzi, so I must have been mistaken. "She has a girlfriend."

"Did, uh…" he cleared his throat, "did anyone tell her that?"

"Don't worry. Apparently she's just admiring the view," I said, one corner of my mouth twitching up.

His eyes crinkled behind those pink lenses. "Good. Woulda hated to break her heart otherwise, seeing as how I'm already deliriously happy in a loving, committed relationship with the bewitching creature sitting next to me," he slipped one arm to rest along the edge of the hot tub behind me while taking my hand in his other one so he could bring it up out of the water and press his lips to my knuckles.

Click!

I glanced up at the sound to see Anna crouching down next to the jacuzzi, holding her phone up with the camera pointed towards us. "D'aww, what a great picture! You two are such cuties!" she squealed, looking down at her screen as her fingers swiped across it.

Lea had lowered our hands back down to rest underwater once more, his fingers interweaved with mine now. Which was a little silly, come to think of it, as no one could possibly be seeing us holding hands through all these bubbles. Perhaps he didn't realize that. Then again, I wasn't exactly rushing to take my hand back either.

Anna was still gushing, "Seriously, I'm becoming diabetic from sweetness overload h-"

"Cannonball!"

Maren's head shot up and she snarled, "Ryder, no! This is a hot tub, not a-"

Suddenly a big blur was hitting the water, sending a huge blast of water in all directions for the second time. Anna yelped, shielding her mobile with her body while the rest of us just did our best to block the mini tidal wave with our hands. It was amazing that there was any liquid still left in here with us by now.

"Wahoo!" Ryder cried out as he popped back up, bouncing with his hands high over his head in triumph. It was short lived however as his sister punched him in the gut and he doubled over with a grunt.

"Bonehead!" she scowled at him as she relaxed back into her seat. "You could've broken your dumb neck."

"And my phone!" Anna added as she gave said device a careful lookover.

"Whatever, you're all just jelly cuz you didn't think to do it yourselves first." He fished around in the water for his lip-shades that had fallen off before perching them on his head and taking a seat as he looked to Lea, "Hella cool, am I right? Up top!" He held up his hand. Lea just shrugged and obliged him with a high-five.

Maren sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Boys. Ugh."

Seemingly satisfied that no damage had come to her phone, Anna plopped down onto the ledge of the jacuzzi now and let her feet dangle in the water. "Pic of my fave cousin," she singsonged, snapping a shot of Maren tipping her sunglasses down and holding two fingers up in the peace sign. "And one of my idiot cousin," she deadpanned, pointing it at Ryder now who just crossed his eyes and razzed his tongue at her. Giggling, she then turned the phone camera back towards Lea and me. "I want a couple more of you guys! Go on, smoosh in, you two!"

...who me?

Awkward penguin, nervous wreck, ball of raw friggin' nerves me? "Smoosh" in with a guy? While we were both only in swimsuits and thus at least a good seventy-five percent naked? Smoosh?! I didn't even know how to smoosh! I'd never smooshed a day in my life!

Did my sister know me but at all?

She did remember Lea and I were only pretend dating, right?

I narrowed my gaze one her. "...excuse me?"

"You heard me," she said sweetly, a wicked gleam in her eyes as she tipped her head forward, smirking over those flower-glasses. "Snuggle in, Sis."

Oh-ho, that evil brat knew exactly what she was doing.

Fine. If I gave her this and let her have her fun, maybe she'd finally open up to me about whatever it was that'd been bothering her.

So I scooched an inch over towards Lea.

"Closer," Anna said, staring at her phone screen as she pointed the camera at us again and waved me over with her free hand.

A tiny huff in my throat and another inch over. My knee was brushing against his now.

Anna groaned, "Come on, closer! You two like each other, right?!"

Lea gave a sheepish laugh, scratching his cheek and whispering, "El, forget it, you don't hafta-"

"It's fine," I muttered under my breath, hard eyes still on Anna as I reached over my shoulder and closed my fingers around Lea's wrist resting behind my head there. Hesitating briefly as my face began to warm uncomfortably and the thudding in my ears grew louder, I finally tugged the arm down to wrap around my bare shoulders and leaned into his chest slightly.

"Ugh, closer!"

One of my eyes ticked. "Anna, any closer and I'll be sitting in his lap. Is that what you want?"

She smiled impishly, "I mean, if you think it'll help…"

Lea's hushed voice came to me again, "El, really, this isn't-"

"Lea, really, it's fine," I insisted through grit teeth.

Alright, Anna, you want closer? I'll give you closer, you little...

I twisted in my seat, hugged my arms around his neck and yanked him down, pressing our cheeks together. Not to mention our chests. Our very wet, scantily-to-not-at-all clad chests. But I tried not to think about that part. My cheeks were frying enough as it was already. His whole body went rigid against mine before slowly relaxing as I felt his arms tighten around me. "Here, Anna," I snapped, "take the stupid picture!"

Hold this pose any longer and my heart might just shatter a rib with the way it was thundering.

Still there was no click. She frowned, "Aw, c'mon, Sis, give us a smile! You're in wub, after all!"

...that's it, I was going to throttle her.

"Gotcha covered!" Lea announced. I'd barely even had a chance to register his words before he'd removed his cheek from mine only to replace it with his lips and blow a loud raspberry. All my tension immediately banished and a surprised laugh erupted out of me as I tried to wriggle free, but not before-

Click!

"Perfect!" Anna bit back a grin as she eyed the photo on her phone.

Lea had a cheeky grin of his own that he was shooting my way. Though my eyes glared, my lips smiled as I gave his arm a shove, which did nothing to erase his smug look. Before I could retract my hand however, he'd snatched it up in his so he could lace our fingers together once more. At least this time it was above the water for everyone to see.

Now that that bit of nonsense was over and done with, perhaps Anna would give me a minute to talk to her while she was still distracted by riding her photography high. I saw Maren poking a finger into her brother's cheek as she teased him about something, so our cousins probably wouldn't miss us if we slipped away for a second or two. Sitting up straighter and taking a deep breath, I began, "Anna, perhaps now you and I could have a-"

"Oopsie, looks like I need a refill!" she trilled, swiping up her glass from where it sat on the deck beside her.

I squinted at it. "...it's still mostly full."

"Check again." She downed the whole thing in one big gulp before puffing out a satisfied, "Ha! Be right back!"

Whoosh!

Gone again.

With a long, drawn out sigh, I slouched so low into the jacuzzi now, the foamy surface brushed against my chin. I could see Lea frowning at me out of my peripheral, but he remained quiet, probably just as much at a loss with this whole mystery situation with my sister as I was.

My eyes gradually drifted over to the mini bar where I could see her mixing up some new concoction. However, instead of the upbeat glow she usually had about her, I noticed her shoulders sagging a little. She was worrying her lower lip between her teeth, the corners of her mouth turned down. I couldn't see her eyes behind the sunglasses, but her brow was wrinkled, seemingly lost in thought as she hung her head.

Huh… that didn't look like someone who was mad.

Maybe Lea was right. Maybe there really was something that had her sad or scared.

But what could it possibly be?

And why wouldn't she just tell me?

Author's Note: Yay for some yacht fun! Cuz that's just what rich people do I suppose xD Again, since I'm not sure if all of ya'll have seen Frozen 2, the new characters introduced this chapter (including the briefly mentioned Yelena) were all from that movie as a buncha people called the Northuldra who live in an enchanted forest. Since in F2 it was revealed Elsa's mom was Northuldra, there is a VERY real possibility that Honeymaren and Ryder really are all canonically related to Elsa and Anna in some way, so I figured hey, why not turn them into her cousins in this? Now if only Ryder had gotten to see Kristoff's talking reindeer Sven plushie routine, I think Ryder would have positively exploded with happiness xD Real talk tho, boys and girls... don't pull a Ryder: do NOT cannonball into a jacuzzi.

Alright, we now have Saturday morning out of the way, but still have plenty of The Weekend to go yet! Next chapter, what will the rest of the day hold for Elsa? Will she ever find out what seems to have her baby sis so down? Not to mention Gramps' bday palooza is looming ever nearer on the horizon, what potential new "fun" could that lil party bring? And seriously, how WAS there any water left in that lil hot tub after those couple o' knuckleheads (intentionally or not) crashed hard into that thing? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[thewickling]

Winding Moonrise - Bedtime Preparation

Wei Wuxian trails behind Lan Wangji. The pristine and reverent halls of the Lan residence form a stark contrast to the noisy and item riddled Jiang residence of his memory. The scrolls that line the walls and handcrafted ceramics that decorate the path combine with the silence to establish a tone like a museum. The kind of museum where breathing too loudly is considered blasphemy and asking if one can take a picture would be tantamount to sin. 

Lan Wangji fits right in; Wei Wuxian feels as if he is about to be lectured for walking wrong. He chuckles to himself. So this is where Lan Zhan was raised.

He can just picture it: a tiny A-Zhan, who despite his young age looks every bit as uptight as he does now, sitting at a low table practicing his guqin. His clothes must have been spotless. Even then, he must have looked like polished jade only fresher and whiter. 

He covers his mouth. Glancing around, he isn’t surprised not to find pictures on the walls, but he is disappointed he can’t confirm his hypothesis. He ponders if he had ever looked that sweet and innocent even as a child. Even now Lan Wangji looked of jade in his proper posture, his black hair is akin silk, and his skin is white as freshly fallen snow.

Meanwhile, Lan Wangji questions if he has a right to offer Wei Wuxian his room. Isn’t it selfish? Is he not taking advantage of Wei Wuxian? 

Yet he can’t ask that without prompting Wei Wuxian’s curiosity. He can’t phrase the question without revealing his motivation for asking. He frowns. He is indeed selfish. What wolf would not want their moon’s scent to spread through their den. He closes his eyes and can’t inhale deeply.

He does anyway. 

The salt tickles his throat. The refreshing, nature air winds itself through Lan Wangji’s core. He wonders how it will mingle with his own scent. He pictures as he did a decade of mountains and lakes forming the scent-scape of their home. 

By the time he gains enough control to open his eyes, they already stand outside his room. He decides, I will sleep elsewhere. 

He gestures. 

Wei Wuxian quirks his head. His eyes widen. Tapping his chin, he hums with understanding. “Right, we couldn’t catch up over dinner. Your uncle is so fussy. No discussion? Is this a library?”

Lan Wangji blinks.

“You first.” He gestures as if this was his home not Lan Wangji’s.

He freezes. His ears yearn for more of his moon’s voice. But he has no right to Wei Wuxian’s time when he can’t even spend it without imposing on Wei Wuxian’s kindness. It isn’t Wei Wuxian’s fault. He can’t know how Lan Wangji longs for his scent and touch and lips. 

“You are mistaken,” he says, pushing past. “You may rest here tonight.” 

“What?” Wei Wuxian glances around for a camera because he couldn’t have heard right. There’s no way a residence like this doesn’t have guest rooms, that his presence would force Lan Wangji out of a bed. 

He twirls. Grabbing Lan Wangji’s wrist, he asks, “Where are you going?”

Lan Wangji locks in place. The heat that diffuses from Wei Wuxian’s fingertips through Lan Wangji’s wrist sends his mind reeling. His skin dreams of more. His hands itch to grab and hold. His fingers to drink in the firmness of collar down toward his—

“Ah, is Lan Zhan getting a pillow? Are we having a sleepover?” Wei Wuxian nods to himself. He’s a little old for  that but it’s been so long since he’s had a chance to talk to old friends. Sharing a room means he won’t have to stumble to a guest room bleary-eyed later. 

Lan Wangji stares at Wei Wuxian. He wonders, How did Wei Ying come to that conclusion? I can barely hold myself from scent-marking him and he wants to share a bed? 

He smiles back.

This is the scene that Lan Xichen walks in on. The question he has dies on the tip of his tongue. He doesn’t need the conflicted medley of his didi’s scent to tell him that Lan Wangji has absolutely not informed Wei Wuxian that they are mates. He understands the moment he sees Lan Wangji unable to move. Lan Wangji muscles locked in place as the intent to move them conflicts with his desire to remain near his soulmate.  

He sighs.

“Xichen-ge,” Wei Wuxian chirps. “Hello. Are we standing in your way?” 

Lan Wangji implores his xiong with his eyes. They widen with panic. He pleads for a way out.  

“Wei-gongzi,” he says, recalling the words he just overheard. “No. I wanted to check that you had enough to share for the night. Lan Wangji told me how excited he was for the two of you to talk.”

A tiny part of him feels terrible about the betrayal that shines in Lan Wangji’s eyes. He rationalizes, Even if Wei-gongzi may reject him, if didi never tells him that they are fated, then he will never find happiness. 

“He was just about to get them!” Wei Wuxian tugs Lan Wangji’s arm. 

Gesturing, Lan Xichen offers, “I am heading this way. I’ll send some your way. You should catch up.”

“Great! Thanks!” 

Wei Wuxian drags Lan Wangji, who can’t bring himself to properly be reluctant, into the room.

“Inside or outside?” Wei Wuxian asks, appraising the bed. It’s a little tight for two grown men but it isn’t like they will be packed like sardines. The bed isn’t a twin after all.

Staring at his bed and Wei Wuxian’s curious gaze, he swallows. Boyhood dreams of boxing Wei Wuxian in flit up his memory. Lan Wangji at last says, “You take the bed.” 

“I can’t steal your bed.” He scratches his neck. “I’ll take the floor. I’m used to roughing it.”

“No.” What kind of mate would Lan Wangji be if he allowed that? 

“No? Should I find a g—”

“Stay here.” His mouth moves before his brain. His instincts scream, Wei Ying is in our den. We have to keep him here.

Wei Wuxian steps back, giving Lan Wangji a once-over. Did he misunderstand? Lan Wangji has always been concise but did he misunderstand something. He repeats, “Inside or outside?”

Lan Wangji knows this is selfish but Wei Wuxian isn’t leaving him much choice. If he changes his word, that will create suspicion. He can endure a night though it will be a test of his will. He doubts he will sleep much. “Outside.”

“So! Anything interesting gossip?” Wei Wuxian flops down, making a mess of the neatly tucked sheets. The dark wash of his clothes contrast with the white of Lan Wangji’s sheets. He haphazardly spread limbs expose a few centimeters of belly.

Tearing his gaze away Wei Wuxian’s happy trail, he shakes his head. “The pack prohibits gossip.”

“The pack or Lan Qiren-laoshi,” he mutters but it makes sense. If you pry into other people’s business, they are bound to pry into yours. He asks, “Any interesting news? That doesn’t break your finicky rules does it?”

Lan Wangji thinks, turning over the last decade or so. His memory is filled with many events but he doubts most would interest Wei Wuxian. Events such as weddings, deaths, and births would have already reached Wei Wuxian’s ears.

Wei Wuxian smiles, leaning forward. Resting his weight on his knees, he says, “You don’t have to take it so seriously. Just say something.”

“You likely have more news than me.”

He stretches. His clothes crinkle. Flakes of brown and red drift off him. The color is a shock of color on the sheets.

A whiff of earth and copper scratch Lan Wangji’s nose. The scent is too old for him to place but that he suspects at all that it is blood makes his wolf pace. He instinctively steps forward.

“Sorry. Sorry.” He claps his hands together and bows. Suddenly it hits him, he rubs his nose. “Ah, Lan Zhan, can I borrow your clothes?”

Lan Wangji turns from stone to plasma. The words he hates claw his ears, followed by something his brain can’t quite process. He thinks, Wei Ying in my clothes, wrapped in my scent. 

It isn’t as good as scent-marking him but it is the closest action Lan Wangji has any right to do. He blinks.

“Ah, if that’s weird I can just—” He wonders if Lan Wangji is myopic. The Lans have always been excessively neat but did he offend Lan Wangji by shedding cinnabar, blood, and paste onto his sheets.

“No. If you don’t mind it, I can lend them to you.” He walks over to his dresser. He removes two pairs of matching pajamas.

Wei Wuxian is somehow both surprised and underwhelmed. Of course Lan Wangji wears pajama sets instead of a random assortment of shorts, sweats, pants, and t-shirts. It fits Lan Wangji to a tee.

“We should shower.”

Together? Lan Wangji exclaims in his heart, but his face remains expressionless.

He glances over Lan Wangji. “What’s that look? Ah, are you a morning shower person?” 

“But you just ran through the woods.” He wrinkles his nose. “Or does the transformation just magick away the dirt?”

Before he can begin to understand how Wei Wuxian reached that conclusion, a shallow knock at the door tells Lan Wangji how distracted he was. His ears should have noticed the footsteps long before the knock. 

“Enter.”

“Father,” Lan Sizhui says, closing the door behind him. “Xi-bo sent me.”

He carries in two pillows. Crossing the room, he peers at Wei Wuxian. He questions, Why is bobo acting weird and father and granduncle?

A second later, he realizes there’s only one bed and there’s nothing to form a second bed with. Lan Sizhui would never describe Lan Wangji as distant but of all their pack he rarely sees Lan Wangji sharing skin contact with other pack members of his generation or older. If he hadn’t crawled into Lan Wangji’s bed as a child, he suspects he would be among those who consider his father cold. He notes this. Pieces of a puzzle line up in front of him and he’s short of full work.

He stops short of Lan Wangji who stares at his hands pointedly.

“Is something wrong?” He hands over the pillows.

Lan Wangji shakes his head. Nothing of Lan Sizhui’s scent or heart beat suggests ulterior motives. He wonders if xiong intentionally picked the only person in their pack who could not tell if he was hiding something. He pushes down his complaints and gives his thanks.

“Oh! A-Zhui can show me the bathroom.” Wei Wuxian hops up. Throwing his arm over Lan Sizhui’s neck, he gestures.

Lan Sizhui furrows his brow. “Is that father’s clothes?”

Waving them, Wei Wuxian jokes, “Hm… Did you want me to share a bed with your baba in the—”

“Wei Ying!” Lan Wangji scolds and tries to ignore the fantasy those words conjure up and how he itches to make them more than a reality.

Lan Sizhui flushes.

“My bad. My bad. Lead the way A-Zhui.” Wei Wuxian waves. “I’ll be back soon. So think up a good story.”  

When both leave his sight, Lan Wangji finds a clear patch of wall. He flips onto his hands. Gravity forces all the blood that flowed south to return north. A part of him dreams of entering the shower after— 

Keeping an ear out for Wei Wuxian, he recites the packs’ thousands of rules. He mustn’t impose himself on his moon. His mind still manages to wonder.

It conjures images of Wei Wuxian slick with water. Steam masks the parts of Lan Wangji never seen in detail. The happy trail he only glimpsed tempts him to picture what is lower.

He rocks. Shifting his weight to one arm, he increases the difficulty of his exercise. If shifting skins wouldn’t scare Wei Wuxian, he would pace his room. Even in wolf form, he knows that no part of him would dare leave this room when he knows his moon plans to return here.

He layers on the difficulty. He recalls the rules in a second tongue. He mustn’t allow his body another moment to consider how Wei Wuxian’s fresh scent will infuse his clothes or how Wei Wuxian will smell of the shampoo he uses. He lifts a foot from the wall.

[holydragon2808]

The Last of Us Part II: Abby and Plot Review (Sometimes, The Straightforward Approach Really is the Best Way to Execute a Story) MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOTH GAMES!

Yo, fellow gamers and geeks alike! How goes it? Don’t mind me. Just the dragon coming out of her den to rant/review within the realm of geek culture yet again. Since the beginning of The Last of Us Part II’s release, there have been some pretty strong opinions on the plot of the game (to put it lightly….).

I’m still in the middle of completing the game myself, but I’ve pretty much been spoiled the entire story anyway, enough to express my opinion about certain aspects of the game, particularly my feelings on the odd narrative framing choice for what (IMO) should have been a fairly straight forward executed plot line. I was going to wait until I’ve completed the game for myself, but time just doesn’t allow for a lot of gameplay for me at the moment, so I’m writing this review fairly prematurely (though I have watched everything on youtube). I’ll probably post a part II of this review after I finish the story for myself if anything changes.

Anyway, based on what I’ve personally seen and heard (both from personal gameplay and online), my main opinion (so far) is that the ideas, the themes, and the concept behind TLoU II’s story itself are overall decent to me.

However, the way Neil Druckmann and the rest of Naughty Dog chose to frame the narrative is decidedly not.

And a large part of it IMO is how they chose to implement this new character named Abby in the story. Not to mention the over reliance on shock value, and trying too hard to illicit certain emotions and reactions from the player, rather than just trusting the content to steer the narrative and giving the player space to have their own personal experience with the story, something the first game understood and did very well.

Needless to say, there will be MASSIVE SPOILERS for both TLoU I and TLoU II plots from this point onwards. Last chance to back out the den now!

To try and make my point, the original game did a wonderful job of establishing its dark premise, its major characters and getting the player emotionally invested in wanting to know more about both from the outset with a good prologue set up, taking place 20 years before the main time period of the story proper.

During the prologue of the first TLoU, we (as the player) are introduced to (main character) Joel and his cute, young, (but sadly ill-fated) daughter Sarah shortly before the outbreak of the Cordyceps plague. The player gets the opportunity to see Joel at probably his “(moral) best” in the game prior to everything going to hell (and even then the game still establishes the darker parts of his overprotectiveness rather well).

We see him depicted as a very loving and protective father, hardworking, and just generally and average everyday guy (neither “good” or “bad” just “normal”) trying to make a living in the world as he’s talking to his brother (Tommy) on the phone trying to secure a business deal. And then the world begins falling apart at the seams with the trio forced to flee from their now infected neighborhood, doing whatever it takes to get out alive (even if it means now they have to kill other people, something neither probably would have fathom doing prior to the outbreak), setting up a very miserable, but soon to be familiar pattern for them and any other people determined to survive in this devastated world.

Unfortunately, just as they make their way out of the area, Sarah is fatally shot by a soldier tasked with killing any stragglers in an attempt to contain the chaos. And all Joel can do is watch the light leave his “baby girl’s” eyes….

During this short, but very meaningful first hour or so of the game, we have Joel’s dynamic with his biological daughter established (a very fun-loving and healthy and overall heartwarming bond between them), the overall sibling yin-yang world perspectives between Tommy and Joel (how the former is more idealistic and more willing to help others even amidst a crisis, while the latter is cynical, lives more in the moment, and primarily focused on the survival of himself and his closest family) and how those respective character traits subtly foreshadow several major events to come between Tommy and Joel, how and why they eventually drifted apart from one another over the years, as well as the latter’s final choice regarding Ellie and the Fireflies in the finale.

Also by this point, we as the player are invested in these characters from the jump, and have a good idea of what’s going on in the larger scheme of the story (and the direction it’s going….pretty bleak but engaging), and what’s to come so that by the time we’re at the end of the prologue and Joel is getting emotionally shattered by the death of his only daughter, we as the player are right there with him. It was clear that Naughty Dog wanted to make the player sad and emotionally invested in the moment.

The difference in the first game from the second is that the creators seemed more willing to trust their own content to carry and convey the emotional weight of the story and the scene. Shock value is still very much there in the prologue (Sarah’s death was somehow expected and out of nowhere at the same time and it worked because it was just heartbreaking to see such an innocent and nice girl gunned down in her youth), but it’s not the sole driving factor behind the scene itself. Then we jump 20 years into the present day, the world is a very different place and Joel is a very different person.

He’s not the most likable, moral, or friendliest old dude around, but his brutality, his cruelty, his bitter resentment towards humanity over the course of the game is very understandable and the player has been given the time to understand the deeper nuances of his character and establish a bond with him and understand his later feelings and actions regarding Ellie and the Fireflies at the end of the game. His actions certainly weren’t “right” but they were definitely human and understandable.

Well, certainly a lot more understandable/human than it would have been had the game opened with Joel dooming all of humanity from a cure by killing all the doctors with no other context and then trying to force us to empathize with him after the fact.

That’s the problem with Abby’s implementation at the core of the second game’s story, and sadly, it’s enough to mar nearly the entire experience. When Abby first appears, we as the player know nothing about her (and I mean nothing. We don’t even get her name until at least an hour or so after controlling her. That’s not the best introduction for a soon to be major character….).

We get nothing about her, then she kills Joel from the jump (about barely 3 hours into the game), and puts Ellie on a warpath and all of it goes down from there. By this point, we still know nothing about Abby (but hey, at least we as the player get a name before she bashes Joel’s brains in with a golf club). And not only do we not know anything about her, but Naughty Dog didn’t realize that this framing choice effectively prevented the player from wanting to know or care about her as a character.

At this point, later forcing the player to later control her and empathize with her for 10-12 hours is out of the question. She should have remained squarely in the villain role (from Ellie’s point of view). The shock value of Joel’s murder is there as they wanted (whether good or bad is up to the player), but without knowing anything about Abby beforehand, all it really does is completely alienate Abby from the player before we could have gotten a chance to know anything about her, or even want to know anything about her. That’s what I meant earlier about TLoU II not giving the player space to understand and relate/connect to/with the newly introduced characters, to have the scenes and the content convey the emotional intent without the need of these unnecessary forced framing choices and over the top shock value instances.

Seriously, how hard would it have been to let the player know from the outset that Abby was associated with the Fireflies, and that her father was the lead surgeon that Joel killed to rescue Ellie five years ago? From what I understand, it’s several hours into the game before this information comes to light.

The game makes the mistake of introducing Abby in such a way that the narrative (almost to an absurd degree) assumes that the player is already invested in her. We’re not. We’ve literally just met her. And we as the player are given no room to get emotionally invested in her as a character, and when the game finally realizes that “oh, without some context on this matter, no one will care about Abby” (roughly 12 or so hours after the fact from what I’m understanding) it feels like it’s too little too late. 

We as the player never received the opportunity to understand who she is, who she’s after, what her deal is, nothing prior to the controversial murder scene (it all happens after the fact, but by then, people are typically closed off from truly caring or able to change their minds about her so the whole 10 run feels more like a slog narratively rather than a deep, engaging “walk a mile in this person’s shoes” thing. 

We’re just forced to continuously bounce back and forth between controlling her and Ellie throughout the game from the beginning. That’s honestly not the best story structure….ND....you can’t shove Abby down our throats later and expect us to truly care about her. That’s not how it works. And even the whole “well, we wanted the player to hate Abby” thing falls apart because the later scenes where we’re forced to control her feel very unnatural and are often trying too hard to FORCE the player to empathize with her rather than just again, trusting the content to allow us that (again, give the player some space to experience the narrative, build things/people up better, stop relying on shock value without the adequate suspense) for ourselves in a more natural way like with the characters and the way they were presented in the first game.

And Why? Because Naughty Dog was so focused on trying far too hard to illicit certain reactions/emotions from the player. Yes, the overall framing of Joel’s untimely murder at Abby’s hand is bold and (to a point) brilliant in getting us to feel exactly (and I do mean EXACTLY) what Ellie feels in that moment because she doesn’t know any more about this Abby chick than we do. That definitely works for getting us to feel something for Ellie and truly understanding her pain and sorrow in the moment, however, in the larger scheme of the narrative, it was unnecessary. We’re ALREADY just as emotionally invested in Ellie as a character by this point as we are Joel. They are both returning characters.

If they knew that they were going to have Abby (an entirely newly introduced character) kill off one of their major (returning) characters in the first few hours of the game, and ESPECIALLY if we were going to be forced to control her later, then all of their efforts should have been made into making Abby as emotionally understood as possible from the very beginning. This easily could have been rectified with a montage, or a playable prologue or something explaining exactly who she is and her friends were. THEN have her kill Joel somewhere in the middle of the game (while having her conflicted over doing so in part because he saved her life multiple times). People would have still hated her as you wanted ND, but her story is much more understandable and less convoluted and infuriating for the player to experience (and not in the genius way that you think, but just in the “bad story structured way”). The canon structure of Part II might have worked for a novel, or a movie or TV show or something. 

This is a story driven VIDEO GAME. Players directly experience the narrative, not just read or watch it. It has to work in a way that doesn’t feel like an outright HATE message directed to the player themselves. There’s a difference in “exploring the themes of hatred and revenge” in a game, and “deliberately creating something that people are going to despise” (something Druckmann said. He literally said that he’d rather people passionately hate the game rather than just saying “eh, it was ok”). 

To me, I think it would have been more conducive to focus their efforts on creating an experience that people would ultimately LOVE TO PLAY AS A GAME, as Naughty Dog explored the themes of hatred/revenge solely within the realm of the game’s content, rather than this borderline preachy way they presented this current flop of a story. Just IMO.

It’s sad too, because it would have been a great opportunity for Naughty Dog to fill in some of the gaps in the first game regarding the Fireflies, getting more of major key moments from the Fireflies’ point of view (since their movement was largely in the background of the first game, but still prominent enough) and she could have served as an interesting foil or something to both Ellie and Joel.

Abby is a character who lost her father at the hands of Joel, while Ellie never knew hers and found a father figure in the very man who took Abby’s father away from her. Joel in the first game was depicted as a man who had largely given up on humanity after everything that happened to him, more than likely didn’t believe humanity deserved a cure, or at least damn sure that to him it wasn’t worth losing Ellie over, and killed a lot of the Fireflies to rescue her.

Abby had a direct connection with the group, her father probably a hero in her eyes for still wanting to do the right thing and help humanity (what was left of it anyway) and was brutally murdered by someone who, by all accounts was nothing but a thuggish criminal and smuggler from her point of view.

All of those things could have been compelling and made Abby more understandable and relatable from the start. Would her killing Joel in such a brutal fashion so early in the game still have been bad? Absolutely. However, to me, the difference in knowing who she is and what her deal is before hand would have at least given the player the space to decide how much so for themselves. The overall framing choice of the narrative made this story more convoluted than it needed to be unfortunately. I get what Druckmann was going for overall, but the over reliance on shock value and screwing around with the player’s emotions in this game ultimately came at the cost of good story structure in the process. Sometimes, the straightforward approach is the best way to execute a story….

Well, that’s it for part one of my review. What do you all think? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter. But for now, I will return to my Den. Thanks for reading! If you liked this review, then stay tuned for my follow up after I complete the game.

Edit: Part II of my review is up! If you liked this, and want to read about how I would have personally structured this story, here’s the link to that!

[warlordgab]

LuNa analysis: “Saving the girl,” when does it matter?

This little analysis and its NaLu version were supposed to be one single post. But, I decided to divde them for there’s a lot to cover, and doing things this way makes it easier to shorten the content

With that out of the way, let us begin!

As explained in the other analysis, when a story develops a bond organically, “saving the girl” doesn’t mean she owes her savior a relationship. True chemistry doesn’t occur because of favors done. That’s like a basic unspoken rule

Going from “saving the girl” to “impregnating the girl” without proper development, or meaningful and engaging moments, is a proof of lazy writing...

But, rescuing a love interest is an legitimate story-telling tool. So when does “saving the girl” matters for the growth of a potent relationship?

First, we have to address why the shipping mindset doesn't work here. To keep things brief, what some readers could find compelling, characters in the story may not find truly moving. Some fans enjoy cool, stylish, and tough characters so much that they end up overhyping every action they take or every interaction the have with others. Even when the story doesn't hype anything at all.

Example, women who would like to have a good-looking man complimenting them 24/7 may find similar actions incredibly thoughtful and meaningful, even if the story doesn't take such behaviors seriously (to the point of using them as jokes/gags) or characters don't see those showings as something significant enough to warrant a serious response.

Readers with this kind of casual mentality are prone to overhyping any and all rescue scene that features their favorite characters despite such instances lacking actual weight or true relevance to any sort of real development

So, some conditions for a moment to be relevant are the characters and the story considering those interactions as impactful, and having those moments pay off. Only the author's works are allowed, as most if not all that comes from directors or writers of the anime adaptation bears no real weight on the source material

Now, such moments have to offer a substantial contribution to the relationship between the characters and leave an impact powerful enough to compel characters in more ways than one

The moment I would like to break down is not one single scene, but rather the context behind the series of events leading us from this...

...to this:

So, Luffy confronts Nami right after she hits her lowest point. At this moment, he stops her from stabbing herself while cursing Arlong, and then Nami does something she hasn't done in years: she decides to open herself to Luffy and rely on him for help.

To understand the true weight of the moments that followed, we have to put everything into context.

After Arlong murdered her adoptive mother and took over her village, Nami made it her mission to save her home...

...she on her own choose to isolate herself while closing her heart, supressing the feelings and emotions that may get in the way of her goal back then: saving her village from a terrible tyrant

As we analyzed in other posts, becoming fond of Luffy and his crew wasn’t enough for her to break out of that self-imposed isolation.

However, the challange Luffy undertook by himself, and part of the emotional narrative driving this arc, was reaching out to Nami. He knew he won’t leave without her, and he knew she was his companion and navigator no matter what she said.

It was when her oppressor Arlong robbed her of all hope for salvation, when she was finally broken by her own powerlessness and despair.

At this moment Luffy arrives with no knowledge of her current situation nor her backstory with her personal oppresor nor what did Arlong did to leave her in that state... even he admits he doesn’t know what’s going on. But, after Luffy actively sought to break through Nami’s defenses, and Nami herself seeing she had no way out, she took a huge gamble

She finally opened her heart to Luffy, and did what she haven’t done in years: she choose to rely on someone else, to put her faith on Luffy. His response is something we analyzed over and over in this blog:

Answering with a pretty iconic gesture meant to provide the relief and hope she needed, and reaffirming he would help her, Luffy confronted Nami’s oppresor as retaliation for making her suffer, and ended up destroying all the traces of the past that was holding her back both physically and emotionally (after getting a small glimpse of what she went through).

Why is Luffy rescuing Nami relevant to their position as potent relationship?

As noted by some readers, the moment she asked Luffy to save her was the first time she opened her heart to someone else. When she decided to emotionally rely on Luffy...

...she found the courage to stand up to the person who treated her as a slave for many years and threatend her home and family. At the end her faith got rewarded

This experience left an impact on Nami with a power that readers can perceive from time to time if they look closely in the author’s works in other arcs.

Even when giving into fear and despair during Luffy’s first battle against Enel, Nami found the courage to face the big bad after another “pass of the hat.”

A gesture which was reminiscent of the first time Luffy provided her with the emotional comfort that allowed her to confront Arlong, and served a similar purpose here. Luffy reassured Nami that she, as a companion of the future PK, had no reason to be so scared. And that was enough for her to stand up to Enel even during Luffy’s absence.

We know that Nami took this to heart, for she would later declare with confidence, to a high-ranking member of one of the most dangerous pirate crews of the world. how Luffy being the future PK guaranteed their victory

During Water 7, she showed some serious drive and determination to save Robin. But, as soon as she got to Luffy, she poured her heart to Luffy, and freely expressed how she truly felt.

Their experience in Arlong Park, which includes the first time she opened to him, made Luffy her emotional anchor.

Something that we also see in the manga version of the Zou arc. As soon as she hears the rest of the crew arrived, she displays great joy...

...but as soon as she has the chance, she seeks comfort and relief in her captain; she once again openly expresses her anguish to him.

Everything comes back to those moments at Arlong Park. The time when she opened her heart to Luffy. The emotional chemistry that became the foundation of their bond.

So, in the framework of this series, when does “saving the girl” truly matters to any potent relationship? First of all, It has nothing to do with overhyped jokes and gags nor about explicit “romance” nor lovey-dovey stuff based on filler.

It matters when it leaves an impact powerful enough to make a emotional connection grow steadily, and when it spawns dozens of meaningful moments contributing to a consistent bonding. A piece of poetry that writes itself

NaLu version: https://warlordgab.tumblr.com/post/186743458211/nalu-analysis-saving-the-girl-when-does-it

[ganymedesclock]

Very great analysis on how bleak the cycle can be. What’s your take on how the cycle works regarding other villains, like Vaati, or Majora?

So I know you asked about the cycle in-universe, led here I would guess from this post, but there’s a noteworthy followup I made in that vein here, and that’s important context to how I feel about a lot of the Zelda rogues’ gallery.

Because the thing is, if you go looking for qualities to hate, you’ll always find them.

Ghirahim invades Link’s space in a way that feels- to me- very gay panic. He talks in luscious detail about wanting to do violence onto Link’s person. He threatens to run through his subordinates.

Zant creeps on Midna at a major part. And, Zant’s very easy for me to relate to and want to defend, because the big other thing used to make Zant seem “scary and off-putting” is his literal autistic meltdowns. They may not be called that by name, but Zant thrashing, bending weirdly, the noises he makes and slamming his head on the floor when frustrated and overwhelmed, as an autistic person, I recognize intimately. I can’t even say it’s that much of a caricature of stimming and meltdowns.

Vaati kidnaps “beautiful maidens”. We’re given plenty of reasons to hate them.

My beef is, a lot of these issues feel petty- not in their in-universe damage done, but petty in a writing sense. 

Hearing that Ghirahim controls the bokoblins through threat of force is basically meaningless. We can’t really be all up in arms that Ghirahim is threatening to stab bokoblins because in that cutscene alone we tear them apart en masse ourselves. We can have the excuse that they’re our Enemies, but they’re Ghirahim’s subordinates, but really, how much of an excuse is that? Yes, there’s a difference between stabbing enemies and stabbing allies, but The Legend of Zelda is not a work that has any kind of moral high ground to point fingers about dehumanizing people. We’re not even dignified a response from the Bokoblins. You could omit Ghirahim’s threat entirely and nothing about that scene’s weight or context would change.

Zant getting uncomfortably up in Midna’s space is just supposed to be a cruelty that make us feel more justified when Zant dies in a comparatively graphic and painful-looking manner. They are not used as meaningful characterizing moments. It doesn’t illustrate that Zant wields cultural power over Midna, because in their dynamic, both make clear that Midna was the favored one- she was chosen to rule- while criticizing Zelda, she alludes to having a life of luxury herself (since she’s projecting her own issues onto Zelda in that scene) while Zant at least perceives himself as having lived a tortured life and Midna doesn’t contradict him or call him a liar, merely insists that he was power hungry and that’s why “everyone” felt justified turning away from him.

It doesn’t indicate Zant really wants Midna because it seems to just exist as an opportunity to set up Zant attacking her for siding with the light world. It doesn’t even really indicate Midna’s character growth because she doesn’t seem to seriously consider Zant’s words and she never suggests in the past she might’ve gone along with him.

The thing about The Cycle and it’s cruelty is that it’s something that exists halfway in and halfway out of the fourth wall. Hyrule can’t stay at peace. It can’t be stable and happy. It has to be imperiled because they want to keep making games.

The villains in the Zelda series are created to fill a role. They’re boss fights. In that sense, they’re trophy bucks to be hunted down for our entertainment. You could arguably say the same thing about any video game boss, but, I would argue, a well-written game gives you reasons to find opposing this character meaningful.

The Zelda series does not do this.

The Zelda series mostly gives you some cheap heat excuses and a lot of vague words about how someone is Evil or Diabolical. Next time you fire up a Zelda game, just, stop and pay attention to the cutscenes and look at just how much of a given character’s crimes are: 1. vague, 2. only ever stated by other characters who already hate that character, 3. make no sense as a strategic move unless you intuit or assume a lot of information the game never tells you.

It’s really easy to assume in the average game that Ganondorf- or Vaati, or Skull Kid, or Zant, or Ghirahim- is running wild killing people and burning the countryside. But if you actually look at it, there doesn’t seem to be a clear thesis to who’s hurt and who isn’t.

Why do the Zora get frozen? Why is Valoo’s tail attacked? Why does Zant attack Hyrule’s light spirits but doesn’t seem to spread the twilight to Snowpeak or the Gerudo Desert when they’re seemingly unprotected?

So the end result is you get split one of two ways. You either trust the Experience of the game- that tells you the entire countryside is suffering because of Vaati- and thus, you come up with explanations and cruel attitudes Vaati has that clearly explain all of his behavior- or you don’t, and then you sit there going “man Ezlo I know you’re salty over being turned into a hat and all, but isn’t it a little fucked up that you’re this willing to talk about your underage orphan apprentice like maybe it was an inevitability he’d go mad with power and there’s nothing to do but forge a sword and kill him?”

The game wants you to assume there’s no way to talk down or negotiate with any of these people. It tells you that there will be Dire Consequences if this person’s actions are not stopped.

But Vaati’s a child who wants power and doesn’t even seem to have a clear thesis of what he’s doing with it besides that he just vaguely wants to be ‘in charge’. 

But Ghirahim seems to have never thought of himself as anything but an instrument and his parting comments to Link suggest that he is only, just, starting to actually feel any real standout emotion towards him beyond annoyance, and that emotion is not rage or revulsion but curiosity. He only really acts out of loyalty to an entity that on-screen, hurts him and literally dehumanizes him- turns him into an immobile object. Something we’re told is a tragedy when it happens to Fi.

But Zant talks at great length about how miserable he was, and Midna insinuates “everyone” hated him and thought he was shifty and untrustworthy, and in his own memories, he was sobbing alone and immediately latched onto and literally worshiped Ganondorf, for... telling him he was important and offering to give him power.

Much is made of Skull Kid’s loneliness and ultimately they’re just a kid, go easy on them, they were tempted by Majora- but we have no idea what Majora itself is, besides that they’re a mask, and in the entirety of Majora’s Mask, many discussions are made about how masks are the product of spirits filled with regret, and one must work with them to bring them peace- and Majora itself speaks in a childish manner.

Chancellor Cole, you can argue, even looks more like a “real evil” in that he’s a scheming bureaucrat who uses his position as a respected adult to talk over and endanger Zelda and Link, and even he’s thrown away by Malladus when the latter needs a free body.

The most in-universe explanation, going by just what Nintendo’s official lore tells us, is that Demise’s hatred seeks a suitable vessel, and Ganondorf is just its ‘favorite’, and it’ll happily latch onto anybody else in a position to screw over the heroes. But that raises a lot of questions and leaves a lot of things unaddressed.

So it comes down to a question of, what do we decide here that we trust? How many of these guys would stay enemies if we had any capacity to talk to them and understand their problems? So many of these guys feel like they’re trapped or hurting or miserable or just had a completely unspecified “hunger for power” because that sounds threatening, but the people who desperately want to feel strong are usually people who, for some reason or another, feel denied, repressed, or looked down on.

Basically, the characterization is vague, and mostly, we’re assured they’re evil by other people in the game. To me, this comes across untrustworthy, especially when, in effect, a lot of these characters talk or act like they were (or are shown to be) wronged somehow, and when the game seems to act as if your only options are “let them do whatever they want” and “kill them where they stand” with a clear insinuation that the murder is the right and proper choice.

Which is kinda the whole problem. The average Zelda game spends however much time it dedicates to the main villain, trying to tell you to kill them. This is at odds with Link as someone who engages with and helps a lot of people. And often “however much time it dedicates to the main villain” is not that much time at all! You’re often just, like. having a fun little happy adventure with a scattered handful of interjections of “so everything is the fault of this one guy, and, uh, you should stab them.”

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of Marvel: Week of September 4th, 2019

Best of this Week: House of X #4 - Jonathan Hickman, Pepe Larraz, Marte Gracia and Clayton Cowles

No More.

Mutants have been made to suffer time after time after time because humans fear change and their inevitable obsolescence. Two of the greatest mutant extinction events have been the result of either human fear or absolute ignorance. In New X-Men (2001) we saw the utter destruction of Genosha by Bolivar Trask’s Sentinels, a massacre that resulted in the deaths of sixteen million mutants over the course of a single day. This left only a little under one million mutants left until House of M (2005) after which Wanda Maximoff decimated the mutant population, leaving only one hundred and ninety-eight left.

Thanks to the work of Moira MacTaggert and Charles Xavier with Krakoa, the mutant population is returning to normal levels and is looking to absolutely eclipse humanity in a short time span. Of course, humanity doesn’t take this too well, causing the Orchis Organization to activate itself, so it’s up to Cyclops and his band of Mutants to cast the enormous Mother Mold (a sentient machine that would create Master Molds to create Sentinels) into the blasted sun.

This issue was nothing short of heartbreaking.

Jonathan Hickman is doing something amazing with this book by showing just how strong the need for preservation is between both sides. In the last issue, one of the security team members for the Orchis station blew himself up in an effort to preserve a future where humans would be the dominant species. He wasn’t thinking about himself or his future with his wife, Dr. Gregor, the head of the station. He only wanted to ensure that The X-Men couldn’t stop the Mother Mold from being activated.

Scott’s team, now only consisting of Marvel Girl, Monet, Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Mystique soldier on after Husk and Archangel are killed in the explosion. Nothing was going to stop them from completing the mission and they absolutely did, but not without each of them being killed in the process. I don’t feel the need to place a spoiler tag here because I have no doubt that either, some of the first issue of House of X takes place in the future and that they will all be reborn or that somehow they will be brought back to life as they will appear in other upcoming X-Series. 

Pepe Larraz absolutely killed this issue with his art alongside Marte Gracia and Clayton Cowles. Every single page has the feeling of large scale epicness to them from the vast emptiness of Krakoa’s Observation room to the different locales of the Mother Mold Base. When Mother mold itself floats into the Sun, quoting it’s own version of the Prometheus myth, it looks enormous at first and slowly descends into the much larger and grander sun. Gracia’s colors are absolutely beautiful as almost everything is bathed in the beautiful glow of the sun. Monet’s red skin shines even brighter as the cuts her way through Orchis security, Nightcrawler and Wolverine’s burning bodies create the perfect ash contrasted by the glowing blue eyes of Mother Mold as Wolverine cuts away the last anchor keeping it on the station and Karimas shining silver arms stand above Cyclops, coated in purple nanobot defeat, as the last thing we see from his visor’s reflection is Dr. Gregor aiming her gun in his face. 

Gracia’s colors are vibrant and help to make Larraz’s lines even more beautiful. They make excellent use of cool blue tones for the few scenes that take place in Krakoa, establishing the still peaceful nature of that location. The space station, however, is awash in heavy yellows and oranges that only set the tone for the book and its high tension, but also works to show us just how dire everything is for either side. It’s high pressure and high stakes. Gracia did a great job of giving things the proper amount of emotional weight through color where Larraz did through excellent facial expression and action.

Normally the brightness of the sun is supposed to represent a better future, but it’s hard to tell who this brighter future is for. The X-Men, ultimately, do win in this war for survival, but it’s a Pyrrhic victory. Karima, who we’ve seen standing beside Nimrod in the future, and Dr. Gregor stand in victory for this battle. Granted, we now that the future where Nimrod reigns has been nullified after Moira’s 10th death, it’s hard not to be afraid by Mother Mold’s ending proclamation and Gregor’s newfound bitter resolve.

Charles and the rest of Mutantkind can rest easy, but can they also live with the cost of what they’ve done if our predictions just so happen to be false? The purpose of Krakoa was to ensure that there would be no more needless mutant death, but in the wake of human fear, more have died. This isn’t like any other time where mutants have been killed and brought back to life years later. For some reason - it just feels heavier. Charles’ tear at the end, with Cowles amazing placement of a “No more” caption feels like a resolution. Charles Xavier is having no more death, not for any of his people and it is powerful.

---------------------------------------------------

House of X continues to be one of my most anticipated releases as the weeks go by. This story of death and rebirth keeps achieving new heights of amazing storytelling and even better art. Jonathan Hickman was the perfect choice to breathe new life into the X-Franchise as I don’t have any semblance of a clue what will be in store for the future of the X-Men.

What do the end pages of this issue mean? What will be the big fallout from the revelation of Powers of X #3? Will Pepe Larraz continue to be godlike in his presentation? We’ll find out next week in Powers of X #4.

Sometimes you just have to sit back and smell the roses. 

Runner Up: Fantastic Four #14 (Legacy #659) - Dan Slott, Paco Medina, Jesus Aburtov and Joe Caramagna

Growing up, I actually thought the Fantastic Four were pretty lame. They weren’t exactly high on my radar because they were a family of explorers, scientists and just general nerds. I got seriously into comics around the time their last book hit the shelves prior to all of the Disney/Fox nonsense and that really awful movie which soured me on them even more. Things changed when I began to read Secret War (2015) and realized that there was so much more that I was missing.

I scoured my stores for back issue and trade paperbacks of everything written by Jonathan Hickman, Mark Millar and Reginald Hudlin before seeking out the older stories by George Perez, John Byrne and Roy Thomas. I learned to love their love of science, adventure and family oriented stories, so when they finally made their Marvel return, I was excited and so far they’ve done nothing but impress. This particular issue is one of the best examples of how even just dialogue, dynamics and expressions can build a great foundation for a simple yet amazing story. 

The Fantastic Four have been everywhere. Other dimensions,hellscapes, universes and planets, but there's still one mission that they've never completed: their original flight to the stars. After a new gallery opens showcasing the original shuttle that they traveled on in all of its destroyed glory, Reed reminisces of that time with happiness. Ben listens to one of the original black box recordings as they were first getting hit by Cosmic Rays and he's overwhelmed with negative feelings. Two original Pilots for the space flight thank Johnny and Sue for taking their place, saying that they could have become monsters like Ben and Johnny becomes enraged with Sue having to calm him down.

These moments remind us of who these wonderful characters are and always have been. Reed is a scientific mind that's always looking to achieve more and better himself and his inventions. Ben still lives with the inner scars of his transformation despite being one of the most respected heroes in all of the Marvel Universe. Johnny is a hothead and Sue, his sister, has always been there to calm him down. The First Family have been there for each other forever, they know each other better than anyone else does. They care about each other.

Paco Medina captures each of their emotions in a Fantastic way with excellent facial expressions and body language accentuated by Jesus Aburtov's stellar colors. 

Reed stands tall as he marvels at the old shuttle with his kids, his face is full of pride and joy while they look mildly unimpressed. Later while he's working on specs for a new shuttle, we can see how focused he is, how determined. His fantastic beard shows how he's aged from his previous clean shaven self, but he's even more refined.

Ben remembers the original flight with trepidation and trembles as he remember his words when he was first becoming a rock monster. He stomps around in his normal grumpiness, but by the end, knowing that Reed, Sue and Johnny know and care about him so much, he smiles and eagerly helps them on their next journey. 

Johnny, being the hothead he is, does in fact show his anger as his eyes begin to turn orange after Ben is insulted, but we get an amazing flashback to when he was just a young adult in the shuttle program and the rigorous training that he was put through by Ben. This showcases just how much Johnny wanted to go to the stars and shows us how long he's been the ultra determined man that we know and love. Medina draws him going through the training with ease, only having space on his mind and the want to prove Ben and the other pilots wrong, becoming the youngest ever back up pilot in that universe.

Sue, being the ever loving sister, is the calm one as she gets Johnny to back off. She's radiant as a character and Medina portrays as her the linchpin of the family. She's the graceful one, drawn as serious as Reed, but with her normal beauty as well. She shows just how in love she is with her husband as he works on the specs and lays her head on his shoulder, smiling like she does in the flashback.

Nothing super action-y happens in this issue, in fact, one of the best moments is Johnny and Reed having a bonding moment working on the second shuttle. Both comment on how neither is using their powers to make the work easier and they share a laugh together. It's just a nice, warm moment between brothers-in-law doing something that they haven't been able to in years. It was at this time where I just fell in love all over again.

The Fantastic Four are more than just space adventures, aliens and Doctor Doom plots. They are a family in comics unlike any other. Where most teams are just friends that might hang out every once in a while, the FF are a family with a rich history and ever growing numbers with Franklin, Valeria and now Alicia Masters marrying Ben. The love is palpable and I wish I'd understood this for so many years prior. I can't wait for where this next adventure takes them, but I'm all for it.

[kinkykinard]

Leonard McCoy NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

For Leonard, Aftercare is just as important as foreplay and the sex itself.  He’s an incredibly doting partner.  Before he’s even pulled away from his lover, he ensures they’re warm and resting comfortably.  He forces himself out of bed through the heavy weight of his own satiety and returns with a warm, wet cloth.  He’s gentle, knowing the scrape of the terry against delicate, overstimulated skin can be uncomfortable, and he takes his time to make sure that every last sticky spot is wiped away.  Once he and his lover are both cleaned up, he slips back in under the covers and wraps his arms around them, holding them close in their post-coital vulnerability, murmuring I love yous and you’re beautifuls.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Leonard loves his shoulders, his arms, and his hands.  They’re broad, strong shoulders that can hold his lover’s weight easily when he’s got them pressed up against a wall, their legs around his waist as he thrusts into them.  He loves how long his arms are - perfect for embracing, holding a lover close to his chest so he can feel their heat, their weight as he kisses them.  He loves his hands - steady and skilled.  He loves that he can bring a lover to ruin with his fingers alone.  He loves how sensitive his palms and fingertips are, how easily he can feel the softness and heat of a lover’s skin, or the goosebumps that spring in the wake of his touch.

He’s a tits man.  He adores a lover’s breasts, likes being able to knead them gently, to watch them bounce as they ride him, to follow their slope and curving even when they’re clad in a uniform.  He also loves a graceful neck he can run his fingers over, stroke, kiss, and nip.  He loves the way his lover’s neck stretches,, all the cords or muscle standing out as their head is thrown back in orgasm.  It’s such a lovely lead in to the breasts he’s so in love with as his gaze travels lower.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

He’s a paragon of safe sex, but he loves being able to cum inside of his partner.  He needs to know that they’re willing to let him, and that contraception is in place if it’s not the right time to be having kids, but he goes crazy for filling a lover up with his seed.  He loves watching a few errant droplets of his cum trickle out of a partner’s opening and loves to gently rub those drips into their sensitive skin.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Leonard McCoy hasn’t had as many partners as one might think for someone so handsome, but he’s no stranger to making a lover feel good.  He’s been with a few women and a couple of men.  His thorough, in-depth knowledge of anatomy and physiology make it easy for him to find just the right spots, to touch with just the right amount of pressure to make his partner feel incredible.  His long, skilled fingers can elicit sensations most of his partners never even thought it possible to feel and he’s just as good with his tongue.  

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Leonard loves to be able to look in his lover’s eyes so, by default, all of his favorite positions have his partner on their back.  He likes getting really close, having as much skin-to-skin contact as possible.  In a position like this, he can kiss his partner’s neck, watch their face as he slowly moves within them, feel their heartbeat against his own chest, and rub up against their clit just right.  He loves behind able to hold his lover’s hand like this, too, and feel them grip him as throes of pleasure wrack their body.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Leonard takes his lovemaking seriously most of the time.  He’s usually so concentrated on the moment, on making his partner feel good and reveling in their mutual pleasure, that he almost looks like he’s scowling.  However, in those moments where a little humor creeps in - perhaps the condom made a squeaking noise, or he poured a little too much lube on and there’s some squelching happening - he laughs with his lover and it’s a beautiful sight.  His entire demeanor changes for the lighter and it makes him soft and achingly human.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Leonard’s no stranger to one-night stands, but he’s much more intimate with a long-term partner.  He’s versatile, though - if a lover likes it hard and fast, he can do that.  If they prefer a wordless romp in the sheets, Len’s got it covered.  However, the times he gets to take it slow are the best.  He’s sweet and watchful, ever mindful of his lover’s pleasure; his own bliss is inexplicably linked to his lover’s enjoyment.  He murmurs sweet nothings, kisses them gently, trails down over their jaw and neck, teeth nipping, lips tickling.  He’s encouraging with little whispers of just like that, darlin’ and feel so good, sweetheart.  He’d be naive to think that love and sex are one and the same, but he’ll give a trusted partner both in spades.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Leonard is a dom.  He loves a bit of a power play in the bedroom, but he realizes how much trust this requires and he will never push a lover into something they’re not comfortable with.  Scene negotiations always happens in advance of anything new or more intense being added into the bedroom routine, and hard and soft limits and safewords are mutually agreed upon.

Leonard also enjoys restraint kink.  Having his partner lying on the bed, immobile and vulnerable, turns him on like crazy.  He loves being in control, being able to touch where and how he wants to without his lover being able to push him away or interfere.  It’s got to be consensual and there’s always a safe word, but he absolutely loves it.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The bed is Len’s default favorite because he knows that it’s comfortable for his partner and it gives him plenty of space to maneuver and do whatever he fancies.  He’ll never say no to shower sex, though - the water slipping over your skin makes it easier for him to worship you with his hands.  He’s a pretty big fan of having you up on the kitchen counter, too - it’s at just the right height that he can drive in deep and angle you so he’s hitting your g-spot every time.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

An invitation.

That’s not to say he needs to be overtly, explicitly told that his lover wants sex.  No, Leonard’s powers of observation are acute, and he notices the subtle signs - the flush in their cheeks, the twinkling in their eyes, the way their pulse picks up as he presses a kiss to their lips.  He can feel it when a lover presses closer, sense the undercurrent of lust in their voice when they speak, and he just knows.  Knowing his partner wants to get him in bed makes him painfully hard; he feeds on their desires.  And if he walks into the room while they’re naked, teasing themselves, openly, wantonly masturbating before his very eyes, well, it’s all he can do to stop himself growling like an animal before he launches himself at his partner to take over.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Leonard doesn’t do blood play, knife play, or any of the other darker, more dangerous forms of edgeplay.  He would never put anyone, least of all a lover, at risk of infection, especially when there are so many other ways to elicit the kinds of intense sensations that people into these sorts of things crave.  He doesn’t judge, but he won’t participate.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Leonard’s not going to lie - he loves a good blow job.  The kind where the suction is just right and it’s got him fisting his hands in his lover’s hair, encouraging them to take more of him in, but also being careful not to choke them or have them take more than they’re comfortable with.  He absolutely adores using his mouth on a lover, too, though.  Whether his lover is female and he’s driving his tongue into her core, circling her clit with it, or male and he’s scraping his teeth along the underside of their cock, applying exquisite suction to their tip, he loves the taste of his lover on his tongue.  

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

There’s a time and a place for fast and rough, and sometimes Len needs it that way.  It’s cathartic and enough to leave him weak and satiated and forgetful of whatever it was that drove him into a frenzy in the first place.  If it’s left up to him, though, he prefers to take it slow.  He’s an explorer - he wants to touch, taste, kiss every part of his lover’s body, to slide his fingers down the column of their neck, feel their heartbeat reverberating off of his fingertips, to tweak and tease their nipples, to circle their navel with his tongue and leave a trail down to the apex of their thighs.  Once he’s penetrated his lover, he likes to ease in slowly until he’s bottomed out, and then to pull out and thrust again, taking his time, ensuring his lover feels ever vein and every ridge along his shaft.  There are lots of kisses, lots of murmurations and love yous and so goods.  It’s teasing at first, but well worth it in the end.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

There’s a time and a place for quickies in Len’s mind.  A quick and dirty little interlude in his office, a storage closet in engineering, or one of the exam rooms is just what the doctor ordered after a hard day, an angry encounter, or yet another near miss with the Klingons.  However, he much prefers to take his time.  Quickies are a side effect of emotions running high and he doesn’t feel they do a lover justice, but sometimes they’re just necessary.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Len will try anything once, on the condition that if it’s something unconventional or potentially dangerous, he can do his research first and put all of the necessary precautions into place so he’s not putting his lover at risk of adverse physical or psychological damage.  For example, he’s not above a little breath play, but he takes his time ahead of the act to carefully feel for the right landmarks, to locate the carotid bifurcations and experiment with pressure to make sure he’s not hurting his lover.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Leonard owns a handful of toys - handcuffs, cock rings, a riding crop.  He enjoys being able to use them on his lover, and he enjoys having them used on him at times, too.  The bite of the riding crop is a balm on his frayed nerves after a long and difficult day.  More than anything, though, he relies on his touch and tongue to bring his lover pleasure, and he loves feeling their touch in return.  There’s no need for toys when he’s got intimacy and the steadiest hands in the fleet.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Leonard is an impossible tease.  He loves watching his lover arch into his every touch, keen and beg for release, loves bringing them to the brink of orgasm and the backing off and watching them fall apart with desperation.  He love it when they beg, and he loves to deny them then even more.  He’s have them edging over and over until he can feel the need, the frustration in the way their muscles tense and bunch, and then he’ll let them orgasm, but not a second before.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Len is a man of few words in the bedroom.  He doesn’t vocalize too loudly, either, and when he does, it’s his lover’s name tumbling off of his lips as he climaxes, or the occasional grunt or groan as things get to feel so good, or so tight.  He’s all about the praise, though, and the encouragement.  It’s not uncommon to get a that’s my girl or a cum for me, darlin’ out of him.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Does he like being penetrated?

Len would be hard pressed to admit it, but he likes a little bit of anal play.  He knows the hows and whys behind prostate stimulation and uses it to his advantage sometimes, whether it’s a lover’s gentle fingers or a hard and unforgiving toy providing the feel-good.

Send me some letters!

[marshmallowgoop]

Ryuko: Senketsu, if I go too far, I’ll need you to stop me.

Senketsu: I cannot promise that. It is you who is wearing me.

Ryuko: Sheesh, you’re an outfit that doesn’t have much give, you know that?

Senketsu: But when you were out of control, you did stop. Using your own willpower. That is why I am not frightened in the least.

Ryuko: Gotcha. We’re all responsible for our own actions.

I’ve written pretty extensively on Ryuko and Senketsu’s relationship and why I think it’s so healthy, positive, and commendable (to put it mildly). But I don’t think I’ve focused enough attention on the above scene from episode 13, “Crazy For You,” which is a particularly strong example of the merits of Ryuko and Senketsu’s partnership.

On a surface level, the moment emphasizes and is utterly dedicated to the importance of good and proper communication---something especially noteworthy in a series that even describes itself as having a “lightning pace” (episode 16). By focusing so heavily on Ryuko and Senketsu’s conversation, there’s a considerable significance placed on talking to and being honest with a friend; the message is clearly and unambiguously that in any close relationship, it’s absolutely crucial to be open and truthful with one another. Otherwise, you’re not going to get along well. As Mako puts it earlier in the episode, you’ll just be “glarin’ at each other.”

Of course, a scene devoted to the positive effects of strong interpersonal skills probably doesn’t seem all that groundbreaking, but in an action-comedy anime, I love the inclusion of such a thing. It would have been so easy to gloss over emotions and provide viewers with over-the-top battles and little else, but Kill la Kill decided to breathe some real life and soul into Ryuko and Senketsu’s teamwork. The two of them have to endure hardships and struggles just like any real relationship, and just like in any real relationship, they have to work through those hardships and struggles to come back together.

More on that line, the moment is also remarkably humanizing---and sweet---for Ryuko. Throughout the episode, Ryuko hides her guilt and self-hatred behind flimsy assurances that she’s all right and explosive anger and rage. She smiles reassuringly at Mako’s mother, Sukuyo, and she yells fiercely at Shinjiro Nagita, but in the end, she finally, finally reveals everything on her mind to Senketsu. We’re then left with a character who is far more than an infallible hero or the “straight-up punk” that she describes herself as (episode 8); Ryuko is a flawed, complicated human being whom viewers can readily empathize with, and, as a result, it’s incredibly endearing to see her let down her walls and allow someone into her heart. 

Kill la Kill comes off as a strangely affecting and memorable series due to all this narrative weight placed on real-life emotions and feelings while the characters inhabit a world that’s one of the most ridiculous to ever be put on screen, and when it comes to the included scene at the top of this post, I think that’s a phenomenal thing. Because that scene? It’s also wonderful when you consider the history of how relationships have been portrayed in fiction.

While Ryuko and Senketsu are far from the “norm,” it’s not at all uncommon for a fictional story to imply that it’s essentially one person’s “responsibility” to keep another person in line. In the article “The Vulnerability of the Relational Self: The Implications of Ideals of Gender and Romance for Female Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence,” author Elizabeth McManaman Grosz discusses this topic at length, arguing that “the notion that a special woman can tame the beast” and “is thus, in a way, responsible for controlling his beastly nature” is one of the widespread cultural discourses that effectively “primes” women to accept and brush off instances of abuse (81, 88). 

Again, of course, I recognize that, in many ways, Ryuko and Senketsu really don’t have any place in Grosz’s argument. For one, Grosz exclusively utilizes the work of Western authors and philosophers to support her position, and entire other books have been written concerning Japan’s ideals of gender and romance and their implications and effects (believe me, I’m in the midst of reading through just some of said books). On top of that, the fact that Ryuko would be taking the place of the “man” in the situation I screenshotted for this post does question the applicability of Grosz’s article here.

But I find Grosz’s thesis compelling in regards to Kill la Kill because, in a lot of ways, Ryuko and Senketsu do rather embody typical positions of men and women in fictional stories both East and West... except, the roles are reversed. Ryuko is the unruly, aggressive, and hot-blooded protagonist just as a man often is, and Senketsu exhibits many traits that are traditionally associated with women; he’s sensitive, emotional, and a considerable worrywart. Further, while I find the term “love interest” both degrading and unfitting for Senketsu in a series that Word of God denies any romantic intention for, I have to admit that he fits many of the conventions. In an anime with a cast primarily composed of women, the fact that Senketsu is arguably coded as male makes him, just as the standard heteronormative “love interest,” the most narratively significant character of another gender in the show (for just a few other examples, see Ran from Detective Conan, Sam from Danny Phantom, Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon). Whether I’m watching an anime or an American cartoon, I don’t think I’d be too surprised to see a scenario like the one from the end of Kill la Kill’s thirteenth episode, where a man tells a woman that he’s afraid of losing control and needs her to be there for him so that he doesn’t.

What makes Kill la Kill different is more than the simple reversal of roles, though; Kill la Kill also reverses the harmful implications of this standard set-up. Instead of it being Senketsu’s “job” to “lead [Ryuko] to ‘moral decency,’” as philosopher Immanuel Kant noted a woman must do for a man in the late eighteenth century and of which Grosz argues is an ideal continued on even to this day (such as in sports culture, as elaborated upon in Susan Bordo’s The Male Body: A New Look at Men in Public and Private), Senketsu outright tells Ryuko that she must be in control of herself (qtd. in Grosz 87). It’s not Senketsu’s responsibility to keep Ryuko from abusing him, and the fact that both understand and acknowledge this is, well, good. Senketsu is not going to write off or blame himself for any mistreatment he receives from Ryuko because he feels he failed in “pleasing” her, and Ryuko’s ending sentiment that “[w]e’re all responsible for our own actions” indicates that she feels the same way towards him. Both Ryuko and Senketsu are cognizant of each other’s emotions and needs, and they will not allow abuse to continue without a word about it, as is sadly often the case in reality (Grosz 95).

It would still be nice to have an actual situation in which a man is in the standard “man” position, but I’m happy to see anything like this at all. Abuse and mistreatment are seriously discussed, the responsibility for poor behavior is placed solely on the actor rather than the receiver, and the fact that this kind of moment receives so much focus in the first place absolutely signifies the importance and power of proper communication with a loved one. Ryuko and Senketsu are my most favored relationship in all of fiction, and it’s scenes like this that really emphasize why.

Sources

Bordo, Susan. The Male Body: A New Look at Men in Public and in Private. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1999.

Grosz, Elizabeth McManaman. “The Vulnerability of the Relational Self: The Implications of Ideals of Gender and Romance for Female Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence.” Women's Studies, vol. 47, no. 1, 2018, pp. 80-97. 

Kant, Immanuel. Anthropology from a Pragmatic Point of View. Translated by Victor Lyle Dowdell. Southern Illinois UP, 1978.

Kant, Immanuel. Observations on the Feeling of the Beautiful and the Sublime and Other Writings. Edited by Patrick Frierson and Paul Guyer. Cambridge UP, 2011. 

[elizabethrobertajones]

not to play devil's advocate bc fuck that anon, but i don't think they were bitching about the destiel scene per se so much for the context of it, and the big romantic implication that we were waiting for was just a throwaway sex joke from a demon that we've heard the likes of so many times and it.. doesn't really move their relationship anywhere. i hope you understand.

Yeah, I do, when you’re not aggressive about it (thanks

I just feel like that anon’s aggressiveness was entirely about the sense of being promised an entire scene and then lashing out and blaming me/the fandom/the show?? for promising them something huge and taking their generalised disappointment/overall anger at the show and bundling it all into using this as the scapegoat for their anger. If they had just taken a mo to read those tweets again it came across fairly clearly to me that it was a single line and also one that was in the category of whoops and cheers and laughter from Jensen rather than “awww”s and other less bawdy reactions. The thing is that those spoilers weren’t hyping it up as anything more than what it was, and knowing now full well that it was a single line, re-read those tweets and it’s very clear that they were reporting faithfully on the moment while trying not to spoil it. Especially all 4 together in that post, which was the most popular I saw circulating, and I feel like anon in particular seemed to have been waiting for an entire scene and somewhere or other got very hyped up for something that no one had promised them from any of these 1st hand reports. Seeing the tweets again reminded me I had the anon in my inbox and I got pretty pissed off that they got so annoyed about it when I was taking another look at the spoilers with all the context… I just, like, really hate speculation and spinning enormous narratives like gold out of straw. 

I didn’t really talk about the moment itself, but, yeah. It isn’t anything new - Dabb has even written 3 years ago an almost identical scene with the angels taunting Cas with the implication he and Dean are boning, but this one made the connection absolutely clear for the audience, with no leaps whatsoever to connect what he was saying to Destiel, vs it being Dean’s phonecall that set that angel to threatening to cut off Cas’s junk. And we’ve gone a pretty long time since that level of taunting. I’ve always liked that 7x23 was the last time we got a “he’s your boyfriend” for a pretty hefty stretch of Carver era… I’m actually struggling to remember if there ARE any direct implications in seasons 8 or 9, and then in 10 we get the “Deastiel” moment in 10x05, and the deleted boyfriends argument in 10x14, and overall Carver era is extremely low on these implications and ‘jokes’ compared to Gamble era. I DO think the direct implications without any actual representation or canon sucks especially because these heap up and up and up in the ongoing annuals of Dean n Cas implications which are starting their 10th full year now. Like, interesting as they are on a meta level and for rolling along with the story having fun etc, cumulatively they suck when that’s as visible as it gets. 

I do think, though, that in general this line would have been treated with a lot more fun if it hadn’t been spoiled at all because even sensible people like yourself can build up an expectation that the line might not be another one of these, just out of hoping for the best/giving the show the benefit of the doubt. Like actually maybe it could be someone calling Cas on his feelings (like 13x04 and the Empty accusing him of having some secret love, which was profound rather than teasing and a whole other category of this stuff minus the whole har har it’s funny that you might be gay together thing which for me hands an enormous amount of leeway to the snide comments from bad guys as it creates the weight to the relationship which makes it more than something spun from nothing but needling from villains who think its a joke, whether they seem to believe it or not). So I do get the hope that you can build up that it might have been something else, even against the spoiler than Jensen absolutely cracked up at it (which to me, knowing how he laughs at these things in general, was really the thing that made me guess it was going to be pretty much what we got but I know I apply a lot of lowest possible expectations to thinks just to protect myself). 

Being bitter and cynical about it without proper mental upkeep in the direction of positivity can be really wearing. *I* can be cynical because I don’t mean it as wank and I know I still love the show etc etc so I’m prepared for the event without it coming across as disappointment… But that’s a strong mental wall I made and I know not everyone wants to/can/thinks we should have to do that. I sort of feel ALL media can be disappointing or not what you were after and basically only stuff you make yourself and a rare few creators will scratch the exact thing you want without issues. So I don’t feel it’s weird to allow SPN leeway to do sucky things so much as it’s the thing I’m most invested in so I have to be a lot more clear about them, while if other media lets me down in some way I am way more casual and roll with it easier to start with. And with SPN being heavily invested for so long, I’ve weathered SO MUCH outrage over these things and worse and less that something like this is very easy for me to soak with my mental armour and take on the chin and see it for what it is in the first place and so on without having particularly bitter thoughts when I immediately divine what type of line it will be from the spoilers. It’s not a “oh it will probably be garbage gay teasing” it a much more gentle reaction, knowing that I’ve already watched this far knowing the show does it so one more instance is just another for the record books. 

I mean there’s a feeling of collecting the show’s sins and weighing its heart when all is said and done in the future when the show ends. But that’s extremely morbid so I don’t linger on that part of this sort of disassociative permissiveness to the show’s nonsense :P

Anyways. It’s good to be excited about the show but when it comes specifically to wild destiel spoilers I do think this fandom seriously needs an overall better filter to decide what will truly happen, and there’s no one person to blame, it’s a mindset and we very easily get carried away, and I’ve had to learn the hard way that I need to set myself as a rock in that river and let it wash past me. And not make hard lines of saying not to get enthusiastic for ANYTHING because oftentimes spoilers about Dean n Cas working together or chilling together DO turn out to be really good and in no way should we approach the episodes like we’re going to be attacked, because that’s where bitter stan fandom factions come from. It’s so complicated, and I really was trying not to say anything about it but then I got frustrated and it’s hard to be completely perfect about keeping quiet on annoyances… :P 

I don’t know what the tl:dr is here.. I don’t blame people for getting excited, for sure. But maybe just for lashing out at others when they don’t get what they want and are really incautious. The original anon conjured a whole scene up they wanted, not just a line, and that to me is the perfect example of fandom spinning straw into gold with hype, and something I really can’t stand and at that point I start to say there IS a personal blame/responsibility. Peeps who weren’t THAT irrationally expectant and then proportionately furious after are cool and I wasn’t blaming anyone else >.>