#like it wasn‘t that bad

[peachssodapop]

Official totk rating 10/10

because the horses transfer over

[selfcarecap]

My brain made up a boyfriend in my dream and I miss him sm 🙁

[circuitcharles]

How one man can take the fun out of this sport is insane actually

[awayfromhomes]

:(

[l00katthesky]

——-

[kirkwallsquad]

hi i‘ve lost control of my life

[maxivstappen]

THE GREATEST — TRUE BLUE

[ part one / masterlist / requests are open ]

☽｡⋆ part 2 of THE GREATEST. he tried to live without you, but how is one to survive with a broken heart? a story based on TRUE BLUE by billie eilish. — lando norris x fem!reader (could technically be read as a stand-alone)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 angst, hurt & comfort, hints of fluff (?) 𝄞 4.1k words

❝ Lights out, you’re not here holding me ❞

Lando had never before felt the way he did the day you left him. Seeing you walk through that door, intending to never come back to him ever again, it pained him. It took him too long to realize how much he hurt you, and now he had to suffer the consequences. He swore it wasn’t on purpose, but when his friends told him that also the third girl he had brought along since you broke up with him resembled you in a way, he stopped denying. There was no use. The guys knew, the internet knew, he knew that he wasn’t yet over you. And he thinks he never will be. You left an empty place in his heart, a place that would forever be reserved for you only and you only. No matter how hard he tried to find someone else, no one would ever be able to replace you.

The girl he brought to the first race after the summer break was long forgotten already.

At first, everyone around him believed him when he said he felt happier now without you. But the moment he went back to his old ways, the heartbreaker they’ve known for so long, they realized he wasn’t. The girls always looked like you. He only rarely smiled anymore and he couldn‘t care less about his friends‘ relationships, even going as far as faking a gag or simply not coming to hang out with them at all. He said it’s because he needs to focus on racing. They knew it was because of you. Lando was yet to tell them why the relationship ended. He’d rather crash his car and DNF in every race for the rest of his life than to ever have to talk about the night you left ever again. He felt embarrassed and bad and was so terribly regretful. Only his parents knew the whole truth. He told them with tears caressing his face just like you once did, and seeing the disappointment in their eyes, he felt his heart rip apart even more. They had loved you so much, only waiting for the day he would finally go down on one knee for you, and now he messed it all up.

If he could just go back and make it all alright. Make you feel unconditionally loved wherever you went, make you happy, keep you happy. He would change it all if he just had the chance, but he knew you deserved better. Maybe one day, he could be better again.

He is ready to give up the very thing for you that had made you leave him that night if you’d ask him to. Racing would never again mean as much to him as you, though broken up, still do to him.

He was currently seated in his McLaren, waiting for the lights to go out so he could try his very best to overtake max at the start already. He should have his mind on the track. He shouldn’t think about you, not here. But like always, he couldn’t help it. He hoped to see you in the stands once he was able to get out of the car again. He hoped to see you wave and smile at him, run into his arms and let him kiss you all over, do all the things he had failed to do so many months ago. He knew it wouldn’t happen. He believed anyway. The lights went out and the cars began moving. He tried his best, he always did, but he wasn‘t afraid to lose anymore; for what was it worth to win a race when he had faced the greatest loss of them all already?

❝ I count every tear down my cheek instead of sheep ❞

You couldn’t sleep. You could never sleep while he was racing. Especially when he was on the other side of the world, which is why you went with him last season, and also at the start of this one. Maybe you never should’ve. Long distance was hard, but you managed. He felt farther away when he was still sleeping next you every night. At least when he didn’t send you off to sleep on the couch.

You tossed and turned in your sleep, but you didn’t dare to turn on the TV. It’s been months, you should try to live without him. Without seeing him. Without feeling for him. His races had nothing to do with you, neither did the outcome. And god, if he wins and you have to watch him kiss someone else again you might as well just take his racing car and drive right into the nearest wall. He’s so far away and yet, it didn’t make you love him any less. You huffed, fear slowly building up inside of you. You knew you shouldn’t do this, you had to wake up early tomorrow and really, it wouldn’t be that bad to miss a race once or twice, but you couldn’t help it. Reaching for the remote, your eyes were flooded with tears and your heart stung like never before when you saw him driving out there. You were rooting for him nonetheless. Just months ago you had watched the races from inside the McLaren hospitality, but now? All alone in your bed, anxiously following his every move. You would never fall asleep like this.

❝ Sleepwalk, find myself on your street. Three knocks, ring the bell, then I leave ❞

And there you stood high up in the stands the next weekend, head hanging low as you didn‘t want any fans of him recognizing you, back in his territory. You tried to ignore him, you really did, but your eyes kept following him around the paddock and didn’t leave him even while he was doing the quick interviews he had to do on his way there. And honestly, it kinda felt like home. Attending the races. Being near him. Being with him. You missed it more than anything else in the world, and you felt pathetic for it. He hurt you every way he could, and still, he didn’t hurt you enough to make you hate him. And you really wanted to hate him.

You went to the race together with one of your friends from uni. You bonded over formula 1 and your shared passion for the sport and quickly became very good friends. However, she had to leave soon, moving to another city for a better starting point for her career. Hence, you decided to save some money and go to a race together for the last time; for now, at least. You still remember the way she looked at you when you told her you were with Lando. The way you swooned over him to her, and the way you cried your eyes out when it all ended. You really thought you‘d be able to spend the rest of your life with him, and now all you had left of him were memories. She‘s known you long enough to immediately notice your longing after him the moment your eyes locked onto his dark brown curls. Your heart fluttered and it made you nauseous. One day this would stop, right? Your feeling must fade at least sometime, or was this all just wishful thinking? Could you not just get over him like everyone else got over their exes and start dating someone new?

Your heart ached. He was so close, not out of reach anymore, not on the other side of the world anymore, but still, there was no way of getting back to him, the crash barriers and the grandstand keeping you away, and it felt like the end of your relationship all over again, with him on the track and you sitting and waiting patiently on the sidelines, always at least an arm length distance between you two. You shouldn’t even want to get him back. You left out a sigh as he walked into the McLaren hospitality, finally out of sight. But still not out of mind.

Your friend huffed next to you, and finally decided to try and convince you to talk to him after the race while you were still in the same place, to get closure at last. You knew it must annoy your friends and maybe even your family that it was so hard for you to just move on. They put effort into understanding, but still, Lando wasn‘t good to you, at least not in the end. Many would treat you better, but you didn‘t seem to care. You quickly shook your head no, telling her how he probably didn’t want to talk to you and that catching him after the race would be nearly impossible, with bodyguards and tons and tons of interviewers and cameras around him.

The conversation ended soon after, as the lights went out and the drivers hit the gas. You pondered for a second, reconsidering your friend‘s suggestion, a weird feeling building up in your stomach. Maybe you shouldn’t even be here, maybe you should *leave* after the race and never look back. But to your dismay, every sense in your body was telling you to stay.

❝ I try to live in black and white but I’m so blue ❞

The race went well, but he didn‘t really care. Of course he was happy, the whole team was euphoric for their two drivers who secured place 2 and 4, huge smiles plastered on their faces. Once he was done with the post-race interviews he left to go back and get some rest inside his apartment, at least until the others came around to drag him to the afterparty, slandering from one club into the next one.

Everything felt so lonely without you. His bed was cold even when he was hidden under his blanket, and the dining room was nothing more than a reminder that he wasn‘t spending his evenings with you. Watching TV got boring. Everything got boring. He didn’t even know why he lost you anymore, he didn’t know what the hell it was that made him believe you weren’t made for him, making him believe there was actually something more important than you in this lifetime. You haunted his every thought, and even though he truly only wanted the best for you, deep inside him, he wanted you to still need him as well.

He stood in front of his bathroom mirror, gently buttoning up his shirt like you used to do, always leaving the 3 highest ones unbuttoned. He missed your touch, your eyes looking up at him and your hands always reaching for his. His arms would be wrapped around your waist and his head would be leaning on your shoulder, sneaking a few, small kisses up your neck as you changed your earrings for the night, the imagine of it painted onto your fast beating heart as you stood in front of the full-body mirror in your apartment, finishing up your accessoires. You wore a blue dress that covered your thighs, not reaching your knees. It hugged you in all the right places, accentuating your features. It used to be Lando‘s favourite, but you had no other alternative, not having brought any other dresses. Your friend insisted on going clubbing anyway, desperately wanting to finally get him off your mind for one night at least.

The other drivers were loud and happy and drunk and Lando sat next to them, staring at his already empty glass. He knew how this would go. At some point, either the drivers or one of their girls would tap his shoulder, saying they have a friend they think he would really like, and if he would like to be introduced to her. He would agree so they would finally keep their mouths shut, he would talk to the girl. Maybe they would kiss if he drank enough. Maybe he would take her home. Maybe he would think about you the whole time, maybe he would accidentally call her your name. Maybe he would wake up in the morning and would be happy that she‘d left, content with it only being a one-time thing and not meaning anything.

Because, in the end, nothing meant anything without you.

He pretended to laugh at the jokes of his friends, but really, none of this was fun to him. These nights were nothing more than a constant reminder of how he used to have his fun while you were waiting for him at home, cold and sad and alone. How could he be so stupid and leave you alone all the time? He doesn’t even know why he did it anymore. He yawned, very obviously not enjoying the party. Yes, it was nice seeing his friends so happy, the mood wasn’t as tense as it was around and on the track and the people inside the night club were vivid, dancing and drinking, seemingly having the time of their life downing countless beverages, but still, the happiness didn’t reach him.

“Dude, I think your girl‘s here.“ Oscar pushed him slightly, two vodka bull in hand for himself and Lily. Lando didn’t pay him any mind and rolled his eyes, not really in the mood for talking to any girl that isn’t you at the moment. Couldn’t they just give up? He wasn’t ready yet for someone else, he didn’t even know if he wanted to be with someone that isn’t you at all. Ever. Instead of arguing with Oscar about how he didn’t want to hear from any other girl right now, he went to get another drink as well.

He pushed through the dense crowd of people, navigating through the cacophony of laughter and piercing yelling that seemed to echo from all directions. The deafening loud music blasting through his ears made it difficult to focus, and the harsh sound of glass clunking together only added to it. The colorful LED lights rapidly switched from green to red to purple to yellow in a matter of seconds, creating a dizzying light show that overwhelmed his vision. This sensory onslaught of sounds, sights, and sensations overstimulated his senses, making each step forward feel like an effort.

Finally at his destination, he waited for the waiter or waitress, he wasn’t quite sure, to get his order. He wasn’t certain what his plan was that night at all. Sleeping around or not, you wouldn’t stop haunting his mind anyway, so was it really worth it? Getting drunk and trying to make his nights feel less lonesome? Or should he just wait and really focus on his carrer again until maybe, one day, you’d come back?

He ignored the possibilty of you not coming back at all.

He let his eyes wander around the scene unfolding in front of him, occasionally making eye contact with random girls who winked at him and tried to get his attention, but he didn’t pay them any mind. Frustration started to bubble up inside of him as the wait for his drink seemed to go on for forever, until suddenly, his heart skipped a beat.

Lando was certain that in a room full of people, he would always be able to notice you first. He pondered if it was you whenever he‘d walk by a girl with the same hair colour as you, immediately dismissing the thought when he saw a face that didn’t match yours just a second later. But this time, it was different. The hair ressembled yours without a doubt, and of course he remembered the dress he had bought for you so long ago; never once had he been able to keep his hands to himself when you wore it. The height matched you perfectly as well. But it couldn’t be you, right?

Oscar‘s words replayed in his mind and he finally understood what he meant. Who he meant.

It was really you.

You tried to enjoy the party, but you really weren’t doing so well. Your friend had left you near the bar, thinking you’d be hitting it off with a guy you’ve been talking to for some time, but that wasn’t the case. he left just five minutes after to go home, asking if you’d like to come with him. You denied, but your friend was nowhere to be found, having found someone in this club herself. It was scary being alone in a club full of drunk, intoxicated people, even more so when you sensed someone staring at you from behind. You didn’t have to worry about things like that when you were still with Lando, with him always stuck to your side, a protective arm hanging around your shoulders. you shuddered at the thought, and dared to turn around to find the very person who was looking at you so steadily.

And then you locked eyes.

The world suddenly went quiet. All the chaos, the noise, it all faded into the background, no sound to be heard other than the synchronised, rapid beating of your heart. It seemed as if the only two people in that room were you and him, only the void surrounding the two of you. The LEDs turned blue, engulfing you and him, the light accentuating your features and he couldn’t move even if he wanted to, stuck in a trance of what this could mean for him in the future; what this could mean for you both. Time seemed to stand still. He wanted to run to you, to hold you, to tell you how much he missed you, but his feet felt like they were glued to the floor. His breath hitched and so did yours, all the yearning, all the longing hitting you and him at lightspeed.

You walked towards him, each step filled with electricity. The tension was palpable, his mouth agape as you stood in front of him, only centimeters away from closing the gap between you. There was so much he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to apologize, so many things he wanted to make right, but he didn‘t dare to say things first, afraid too scare you off. The last thing he wanted is for you to leave him again.

“I didn‘t know you‘d be here, thought I‘d seen Oscar but I wasn‘t sure,“ you started, stumbling over your own words, laughing awkwardly, then biting your lip right after. He noticed, because you always did that when you were nervous; you’d done it too when you broke up with him. You wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but that would be a lie, one he could look right through of. You just couldn‘t process actually being in his presence again.

“You still wear the dress?“

“It‘s, uhm, quite pretty, so yeah.“ You nodded along to your own words, gulping at the tense and awkward silence right after, looking down at your shoes, the sight of him in this light still not leaving your mind. Maybe he didn‘t even feel the same way, maybe he didn‘t even want to talk to you. Maybe you already made a fool of yourself when you made your way over to him, maybe you really should‘ve just stayed at home. But at the same time, this is what you‘d hoped for this whole time. To finally see him again.

“I‘m so sorry for what I did to you, y/n, please believe me. E-Ever since you left, I couldn‘t stop thinking about you. Not once. I tried to move on, y‘know, would probably be better for you as well, ‘cause you deserve better than how I‘ve treated you at the end and I don‘t want to have to put you through that again but I just- I miss you so much, I don‘t know what to do! And now you‘re here and I swear I‘ve been waiting for a moment like this and-,“ he stopped for a second, heavy and shaky breaths filling the silence, „If giving up racing means you‘ll let me come back to you, I‘ll do it.“

Your teary eyes widened and you looked up at him again, staring into his. One could take it as an empty promise. But you knew better than anyone else that Lando wasn’t one to joke about racing, ever. “Lando you can’t just- I- I mean, racing? It didn‘t work before Lan I just- don‘t give up your dreams for me, please? You shouldn‘t, you have so much ahead of you still,“ you sighed out, every single part of your body overwhelmed like never before.

But Lando was certain. He traced every yet so small feature of your face and body with his eyes, and he knew in that exact moment that, no matter what, he could never lose you again. Not this time. Not when fate hat somehow brought you together once again, giving him a second chance to make it all better. Question was now if you’d let him have that second chance too.

He lifted his hand to gently wipe away the tear running down your cheek, having you lean into his familiar touch. “I’ll do it for you”, he said, and that was when you broke apart, legs feeling numb and wobbly suddenly. Tears streamed down your face as you took another step forward and he wrapped his arms around your body out of reflex, gently placing soft kisses on top of your head, tearing up as well as your cried into his chest.

Maybe it was bad, maybe you shouldn’t feel like this again, but you’ve never once after the breakup felt as at peace with yourself and your as you did now, even if you were in a loud and busy club, surrounded by drunk and high people. You managed to push them to the back of your mind, the familiar scent of Lando’s perfume calming your senses. It felt like home. Maybe he really did owe you something, and though you once were anguished because of it, you wouldn’t ever deprive him of the joy of racing. There would be a way through it without having to abandon any of your or his dreams. There must be if you want it to work out, and you were sure that this time, it would. And so was he.

Lando took you home with him that night, not before you shot your friend a quick text message, afraid she might think you were kidnapped or whatnot. You knew that you’d have to fly home again in two days. He knew that too, but there was no need to rush things anyway. You were still his and he was still yours, and that’s all that mattered for now. It’s gonna be weird explaining this to your friends and your family, but neither of you minded it as long as it meant you could be with each other again. You would have to talk things through and see how you’d manage the race weekends and the events and the media - but not now. Now, with you calmly and lightly snoring in his arms, he didn’t care about any of that, simply content with having you again.

He promised you before you drifted off into your tranquil slumber that he will make it right this time. He will be there for you no matter what, he will defend you and take you with him and show you off and love you like already should have done all these months ago. This time, he will put in the work and the appreciation and the effort, and then, you will finally be able to be the greatest.

❝ I’d like to mean it when I say I’m over you, but that’s still not true. ❞

taglist for part 2 of the greatest : @mrs-saturday @tylerstacobell @angeltroian @acesbakery @directioner5life @malynn @escuellasceramicdollie @strangetoadroadbat @norrisdriver @aliceisnuts @carlando4 @f1fantasys @no-144444 @belivisa @callsignwidow @cruzgrecia @ifsoniacouldfly @wony6ung @hurtblossom @faeriepigeons @interlagos @xnatqq @fanficweasley @youreintheclubb @chaimaarouaine11 @idgasb @cruzgrecia @madstxo @trisharee (basically everyone who commented vv sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged!)

[anantaru]

— rejecting his cuddles

rejecting his cuddles feat. al-haitham, cyno, diluc, scaramouche x gn! reader

a/n: i spontaneously wrote this after coming home from a night out while craving fluff and cute things

genre: fluff, we're a lil bad for messing with them but who cares, right

— al-haitham

"no thanks!"

you couldn't possibly reject his attempt to cuddle you right now, or could you?

at first, al-haitham‘s smile will slowly drop, not at the reason you might think because he actually is sure this has a deeper meaning, right?

jokes aside, actually he had you figured out from the start but wanted to see how far you would go, putting on the best fake facade one could pull off, it's almost as if he was a natural at deceiving people.

"no.. thanks?" al-haitham was quite impressed on how you managed to reject him this smoothly, it even hurt a little if he was being honest.

He wasn't stupid though, he was aware you were clearly messing with him, his little angel could be a little brat sometimes, that's what he cherished and loved about you as well.

maybe.. he should just try again, right?

with that in mind, al-haitham opened his arms again to advance towards your body to close the distance only for you to wiggle yourself away before he could catch up to you.

"no thanks, i‘m good!"

okay, maybe you were quite cruel today, you honestly didn‘t think much of it and wanted to tease your boyfriend, it was mostly him who would triumph over you so it was natural for some payback here and there.

curiosity got the best of you and that‘s why you were pushing your little scheme a bit further than you actually anticipated to do in the first place, seeking a reaction from your boyfriend.

the second rejection was a literal whiplash right into his face, but then it went clear as day to him, the solution to all of this warmly greeting him.

"okay."

if you could play such game, he surely could do so as well, he deducted that if he was to ignore you now, your fake facade would fall within seconds.

how else were you supposed to keep playing this with him not giving you any attention anymore?

al-haitham was about to get up from his seat as you quickly grabbed his wrist, holding him down.

"okay i was joking don‘t go!"

the slight worry on your face was hilarious to him, how he knew you like the back of his hand was almost scary. In his eyes there wasn‘t anything easier than figuring you out.

"you should stop messing with me before i‘m thinking of a way to get back at you."

— cyno

the general mahamatra had a busy life, cyno was on duty every day and once he got home after a long night, the least you could do is hug him!

today you felt like you should play a little trick on him, just for a quick giggle in your relationship. Contrary to popular belief, cyno was actually an overly humorous person, even though his jokes mostly didn‘t land as he intended them to.

with that you heard the front door open with cyno following suit. You decided to greet him as always and walked towards your boyfriend as he tiredly smiled into your direction, already opening his arms.

"how was your day?"

normally you would‘ve hugged him first and then ask him a question, but today you stood right in front of him without drawing yourself into his embrace.

"it was good, come here." once cyno noticed you weren‘t moving an inch, he thought he should be the one to just hug you instead, yet after attempting to do just that …

"no thanks."

there was an awkward silence followed by cyno looking at you in slight disbelief and irritation. His eyes were low lidded and his expression tired, he really just wanted a hug!

"okay, i understand and respect it, but i don't agree with it."

typical cyno, now that you think back at it you don't really know how you expected him to respond to you. He was a gentleman at heart and immensely respected you.

yet though he didn‘t let it on, this was truly the worst thing that happened to him, yet he obviously doesn‘t want to force you either.

with a flash of guilt throwing itself at you like a fierce force, you quickly stopped him with a big hug from behind, resting your head on his back with your arms tightly shut around him.

"i‘m just messing with you, i‘m sorry."

ending your little sentence with a tiny giggle to soothe the mood, cyno turned around to face you at last, looping his arms around your body in return.

"hah, funny."

— diluc

in any other case diluc wouldn't think too much of it, but the way you were denying his physical affection did throw him off in an unnatural amount.

"no thank you, i'm satiated."

"satiated?" the word blurted out of his mouth in an irritated way, he became confused and unable to recall what the most alarming aspect of this situation was right now.

the fact you didn't want his cuddles, which you once stated were the absolute best, or the fact that you stated you were quote on quote, satiated.

satiated by who?

the urge to throw himself into your embrace was always there, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Diluc was patient with you and so were you with him.

yet he would lie if he didn't feel worried about this, the poor guy having not a single chance of noticing that you were clearly messing with him out of sheer boredom.

as a matter of fact, you didn't intend to go this far, nor did you think diluc would grow this anxious now, making up your mind you decided to end your little play after all as he spoke again.

"is something wrong? if i did something you must speak to me."

noticing how he shifted his eyes around the room, the guilt consumed you from within with your hands quickly grabbing his waist to draw him towards your warm body.

"I'm so sorry, i was trying to mess with you don't worry please."

with a momentary silence and his body frozen, he sighed in relief upon snuggling close to you, feeling the fastened beat of his heart, or was it yours?

"hmpf, maybe i shouldn't hug you for a while."

your eyes widened at his overly cheeky, teasing wording, your lips carved into a pout as you searched for his face, placing your hands on his shoulders.

"it was kaeya's idea, not mine!"

— scaramouche

it wasn't often for scaramouche to search for a hug, not that he didn't want to hug you but he still wasn't completely accustomed to it, to trust a person again and simply relax under their touch.

one might say you were cruel for even thinking of pranking him, because who knows how he would react?

you, will now, know, this sliding second, when he suddenly came back from a long boring day, wiggling himself out of his shoes before he came walking towards you.

it became a slight habit of yours to hug whenever one of you would meet the other so scaramouche didn't think too much of it, he was actually looking quite forward to cuddle with you, so when he finally reached his desired destination, you backed away.

"lets not."

his brow raised almost immediately with his eyes lightly scrunched together in irritation, "lets not .. what?"

his voice had an annoying edge, the one you knew far too well. Sometimes scaramouche involuntarily spoke like that, he didn't even mean to come off as rude but it was a natural thing laced in his tone.

"i don't want a hug, thank you for the kind offer though."

the dazed look of bewilderment on his face was adorable, you felt bad for even finding it cute in the first place as scaramouche continued to tilt his head to the side, rambling in a low murmur.

"i don't buy it, you're the one who can't get enough of my hugs so what are you planning this time?"

his arms crossed around his body, a smirk of his brought out a sense of mischief he was way too good at, a fleeting thought of innocent fun.

in that moment he closed the distance to you almost completely, his eyes piercing daggers into your soul when he spoke once again.

"can you hug me now or what, i don't have all day for this."

the click of his tongue was all it took you to understand that he had figured you out yet again. in all honesty, you didn't know what you expected in the first place.

with a giggle announcing itself out of your throat, you quickly gathered him in your arms, nuzzling him into your warm chest.

scaramouche returned your call and embraced you back with his arms tightly clamped around your body, the pressure applied behind it made it difficult for you to breathe, he was practically clamping onto you.

in that moment you noticed how his breathing was erratic and uneven as well, as if for one tiny second, he really did think he had done something to pain you, something to lose you.

©2022 anantaru do not share, copy, translate

[ataraxixia]

sunday brainrot will not leave me ALONE just thinking abt his little "triple faced gods blah blah tell the truth" AURRRGGHH need to be interrogated by him SO BAD

omg yes

I imagine a scenario where you were his little insight spy without your knowledge and he‘ll use the Harmony to coax the information out of you. But this time- he was jealous of someone he didn't know.

i‘m completely normal about this man I swear

Clematis

pairings: Yan!Sunday x reader warnings: Yandere, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Reader referred to as „Angel“, god complex Sunday (?)

it was supposed to be a simple meeting with your loving boyfriend.

when he requested your presence, you initially thought he was stressed because of work again and that he needed rest- that he needed you, as usual.

after bidding farewell to the shopkeeper you were currently with, you made your way towards the Reverie Hotel. Some Family members on the way recognized you and gave you a small smile or a simple bow- mostly due to the fact that you were Sunday‘s lover. You reciprocated the kind gesture and gave a quick smile as well, even after having the strange feeling of being watched.

once you were on the plaza in front of the Reverie, you noticed one of Sunday‘s crows on one of the fences, watching you closely. They have always been around the city and Sunday told you to simply ignore them, so you did. But today, they seemed restless; when you left Dewlight Pavillion, when you walked around Golden Hour, when you bought some snacks from a Pepeshi Person- at least one crow was watching you.

opening the doors to Dewlight Pavillion, you were expecting to see Brina behind the reception counter greeting you, but instead, you were met with utter silence- as no one was in the room. A hint of uneasiness washed over your body as you continued to traverse through the Pavillion. Even in the halls, where there were usually some guards, there was silence.

you were filled with worry before rushing towards Sunday‘s office, flinging the door open- only to see him stand leisurely in front of the bookcase.

after hearing you entering, your lover turned around and gave you his charming smile.

„Good, you‘re here, my dear.“ he said, one hand behind his back and the other directing towards an armchair. „Please, sit.“ you slowly shook your head as you turned to the door again, stuttering over your words. „The… e-entire Pavillion- there‘s.. no one.. i-is everything okay?“ as you turned back to Sunday, he gave you a reassuring smile. „yes, everything is fine, Angel. Please, calm down and sit.“ you shrugged before listening to your lover, sitting down. The uneasy feeling in your stomach did not falter one second, but you were telling yourself that you were safe as long as Sunday was there.

„Dear, you seem more stressed than I was a few moments ago. Shall I ease your worries first before I tell you mine?“ you let out a long exhale as you nodded your head. Usually, you were the one calming Sunday down after a long day; stroking his hair, cleaning his wings, kissing his temple- he always said he appreciated these small gestures and you loved to do them.

sunday did the same to you right now. He brushed a few hairs out of your face, held your cheek in his palm and kissed you lightly on the forehead, his wings engulfing your head softly. your body and mind had calmed down by the time he retracted his face and when he smiled again you mirrored it. However, when you looked closer, his smile wasn‘t genuine and behind, there were his crows- their eyes focused on you.

„Have you calmed down? May I now share my troubles with you, Angel?“ he asked like usually and without hesitation, you nodded. „Of course.“

„Perfect. Now, there have been some… ‚issues‘ inside the Family‘s network. The Bloodhound Family has been trying to apprehend a stowaway, and please, don‘t take this the wrong way when I say this,“ the feeling in your stomach only increased and you didn‘t like it.

„you meet a lot of people everyday, and the stowaway was one of them, we believe. You wouldn‘t mind telling me about that, would you?“ Sunday had his hand on your cheek and stroked it softly with his thumb, the fabric of his gloves smooth on you skin, but your breath hitched as his hand traveled to you chin, holding it.

"I'm afraid I don't know a-anything." you tried to sound normal, but the small stutter gave you away, yet Sunday only chuckled. "I don't need any of your lies today, love. My patience has been running thin these past few days." his charming smile was replaced with a small frown and your body was betraying you. You tried to compose yourself, but it was futile.

"I only need truths." Sunday said and his whole demeanor changed.

"Oh, Triple-Faced Soul, please sear their tongue and palms with a hot iron, so that they will not be able to fabricate lies and make false vows."

your whole mind was shooting blanks as you felt an unfamiliar dizziness wash over you. The whole room was becoming too colorful, and your lover's face became distorted as he made you look at him again.

"I apologize for the circumstances, but you gave me no choice. Under the light of the Harmony, all wickedness is revealed." his words were echoing in your ears and you finally realized the situation you were in.

The crows, the empty pavilion, the Harmony: he was watching you.

"Who were the people you met two days ago on the Dream's Edge?" he asked and multiple memories flooded your mind. At this very moment, you were scared. Scared at your Lover. You didn't want to answer but a terrible headache took your mind off the idea.

"...not many, I remember... Chadwick, Colleen, those small birds... and that one... man?" the headache eased once you answered but the Harmony's influence was still present.

"What man? What was his name? What did his appearance look like? What did the two of you talk about?" you wanted to get up from your seat and run away, return to reality- but you knew that your legs had no ounce of strength.

"I don't remember his name, but it was something with A... Adan, I believe...and he had blonde hair, I think... with brown eyes." the room was getting more and more blurry with each second you didn't answer, but the loss of equilibrium made even your memories hazy. "We talked about the view of the Dreamscape... yes, that's it.." Sunday hummed unsatisfied as he heard your answer, clicking his tongue.

"What else? What else did you talk about?"

"I don't remember...! My head hurts..." Sunday held your face in his hands and made you look at him. His hands were soft to the touch and a worried smile was plastered on his lips. "I really didn't want to do this, Angel." he cooed, his face close to yours. "You know I only want the best for you, don't you?" those sweet words made your heart melt as you remembered the times where he took the blame if you accidentally ruined some of the Family's documents or when you broke something in Dewlight Pavilion.

"Angel, I gave you everything, and I can give you even more- I can give you everything that exists in the world, just tell me what I want to know." your breath hitched before he placed a soft kiss on your lips and you think you lost your mind after everything was hazy. Your memory, your view, the voices- everything became duller and duller by the second. Sunday asked something and you answered, but you can't comprehend what you said. You only felt his hand graze your temple before darkness engulfed you and you blacked out.

the soft humming, a calming scent, and a damp towel on your forehead welcomed you when you regained consciousness. as you slowly opened your eyes, a feather before your eyes greeted you and the humming stopped.

"You're awake. I was afraid you wouldn't wake up today." Sunday said softly, his hand on yours, stroking it gently. "...what?" you groaned as you fully regained consciousness, the headache returning tenfold. The damp towel was replaced by a hand, and you heard some whispering from Sunday.

"...oh, Triple-Faced Soul, may their fatigue vanish completely and let the harmony heal their mind."

you sighed as your body and mind calmed down, your worries from before disappearing. "Sunday...? what happened?" you asked when you saw his face full of worry.

"Nothing that needs your concern, Angel. Please, rest up and let me take care of you. Will you allow me?" you nodded at his gentle words and he hummed contently. His hand grazed over your arms as you felt more at ease before slowly falling asleep again. Sunday continued humming, even as he turned his face to his crows.

"Inform someone from the Bloodhound Family of this individual, and let them apprehend this... "stowaway." the crows disappeared in a blinks eye before he faced you again. The frown turned into a small smile again as he bent down and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

"No one is allowed to 'flirt' with what is mine."

A/N: hehahehafuu I'm going feral because of this man

[rafesslxt]

SUPP IM BACK WITH ANOTHER REQUEST!! How about professor riddle marks ur work but u didn't get good grades so he punishes u? xoxo mattheosslut22

omg i smiled at this like a fool and my boyfriend asked me what I was smiling about hahaha - yes my real boyfriend, not mattheo duh

thank you for requesting doll 🫶🏻 I‘m already writing a professor one shot right now but with more plot, just have to finish it 👀

Bad student | Professor!Mattheo Riddle

summary: Professor Riddle and you have a special agreement.

warnings: professor x student so don‘t read if you don‘t like, kissing, teasing, fingering, unprotected p in v

words: 2,4k

I looked down at the paper I got back from Professor Riddle. I got an F. Fuck. My gaze wanders up as he looks at me with raised eyebrows and a kind of disappointed look on his face. "You might want to come to me after class." he says in a chilli tone.

Professor Riddle and I have an agreement. A secret one. If I continue to write bad notes, he stops fucking me. As a motivation. And If I get good ones, I get a reward - which is his dick. As a motivation of course.

I sigh and nod but he already left to give the rest of the students their papers back, which of course were all better than mine.

He continues with class and tries to explain everything but I only can concentrate on what‘s going to happen after this class. It is the last one I have today which means I have time and don‘t need to rush out, which is good. Or bad? I don‘t know yet and that‘s exactly what worries me.

The ring interrupts my thoughs and brings me back to the reality. That I‘m alone with him. I swallow the clump in my throat down and gather my things together.

As I walk to the front of the classroom and towards his desk he doesn‘t even look at me. I breath out, loudly. " Sooo.." i start and try to get him to look up but he still doesn‘t.

While correcting another test and sqribbling something on it he talks " You know what our arrangement was,right? " "Mattheo I - I mean Professor I‘m really sorry okay? I promise it won‘t happen again!" I almost begged. I couldn‘t imagine losing him and our sessions, they got me addicted.

"Yeah you said that the last few times you got a bad grade but now an F? No y/n." "Pleease, fuck there has to be something that I can do! I‘m literally begging you."

I saw him smirking a little and I knew he loved to hear me beg like this, litte fucker.

"I swear I‘m always paying attention I just - I didn‘t have had time to study with quidditch and everything." I wasn‘t even lying on that.

"Prove it. I‘ll ask you Questions and you‘ll have to get at least.. 8 out them right. If not, you can come back when you write good once again after the holiday‘s"

I looked at him in shock. "Holidays?!“ "Yeah, the next test we write is after the holidays." I shook my head, not able to live that long without that dick. I know how desperate I sound, but that was exactly how good he fucked me. I tried to forget him, tried to find fun somewhere else but It was useless with these boys at school. He just knew every single move to get me trembling under his touch.

"Okay okay.. give me those questions." "Sit down." I did as soon as he told me to and looked up at him as he stands up and walks to the desk I‘m sitting on.

"First question: Let‘s start with a easy one.. Which spell will cast a body bind upon an enemy?" he asks me, looking directly into my eyes. I lick my lips before answering. "Petrificus Totalus."

"What‘s the strongest love potion in the world?" I started smiling when the memory of him showing it to us last week came back. "Amortentia." I answered him. "What did you smell?" he asks curious as he slowly places his hands beside me on the table, getting closer to my body. "Does that count as a question?" i ask him in a teasing tone. "Answer." he says in a demanding one but I didn‘t miss the excitement in his eyes." So I answer him. "You."

"Smelled you too.“ he mumbles as he gets closer to my neck which leaves me nervous and with goosebumps all over my body.

"What is your only defense against the Imperius Curse?" I felt his lips brush against my skin but still not kissing it which made me even more desperate. "There is no defense.." i answer lost. "Wrong." he whispers and bites the skin on my soft spot. I whine and squeeze my eyes shut. "M-maybe I need a little motivation.." i started and looked down at his shirt.

He rolled his eyes but still smirked a little as my hands found the buttons to his shirt. While I opened them he took out his wand from his back pocket of his jeans and spelled the door shut.

When I opened the last button I pushed the material to the side and let my hands glide over his abs which he knew i love so much. "Don‘t get too eager baby. You already got one wrong." Now I rolled my eyes as my fingers followed the contour of his abs. "Won‘t happen again."

"No matter how many legs you have, they'll all dance if you're cursed with what jinx?" I snort and answer "Tarantallegra. Easy." He nods and asks his next question, his face now on my throat again. "Which potion acts as a truth drug?" I swallow as I feel his soft lips now ghost over my skin again. I open my mouth a few seconds before answering. "Veritaserum."

His lips now meet my skin and I moan. "Correct." He murmurs, leaving wet and passionate kisses all over my throat. His hands find their way to my knees, leaving them there.

"One side effect of the Draught of Peace, If done incorrectly?" he asks me while letting his hands wander up my legs towards my tights slowly. I press my lips together as I feel myself getting wetter.

"Answer, I know you‘re a smart girl." he grins, kissing along my jaw, sending shivers down my spine.

"Irreversible sleep. " "That‘s right, good girl." he starts playing with the hem of my skirt.

"Who created the main ingredient in the Elixir of Life?" "Nicolas Flammel." He nods and wanders towards my mouth with his lips. I start to get impatient and shift slighty on the table, making him smile again. "3 more baby."

"What is the final ingredient needed for Polyjuice Potion?" " Hair." As I answer correct, his lips connect with mine. My mouth almost opens itself when it feels his tounge gliding over my bottom lip. His hand moves further under my skirt, his fingers now right in front of my underwear. "I can already feel the heat from you." he groans against my lips before his tounge explores my mouth.

I let my hands wander to his back, where I scratch his skin slighty, sending shivers down his spine this time. "Hmm love when you do that." "I know."

He pulls away from my mouth a few inches and looks into my eyes. God his eyes. "When must Wolfsbane Potion be taken to be effective?" Shit. I really don‘t know. I think he saw it in my eyes when he lifted his eyebrows at me. "Uhm –" "Come on. We had this topic only a few weeks ago." "The week leading up to a full moon?" I ask more than answering.

I see a smirk forming on his lips and his head shaking. "So much for 'i listen to your classes', huh?" I groan in frustration. "Are you enjoying the thought of not fucking me for that long?" I ask him almost a little mad.

"No baby, my hand doesn‘t feel like you. But I know you‘ll feel even better after weeks of not riding my cock like you love to do." Wait. His hand? Doesn‘t he have like a tons of women at his feet? But I didn’t have that much time to think about it.

"Name me all of the Unforgiveable Curses." "Uhm – Avada Kedavra, Imperio and .. Crucio." He nods in approval and suddenly I can feel his fingers ghost over my damp underwear.

"Fuck baby, are you always this wet while answering your tests? Maybe I should help you next time so you don‘t write F‘s in my class hm?"

"Ask the last one." I say in a desperate voice. If I get this one right I can fuck him, If I get it wrong, these holidays will be the longest I ever had.

"Okay baby, now concentrate yeah? We had this last potion lesson. How long does Felix Felicis take to prepare?" I smile brightly at him as I instantly knew the answer to it. "6 months." i answer.

"Fuck thank god." he groans and pulls me closer to his body, my legs wrapping around his hips. "10 would have been enough." I answer him, my hands already in his soft curls, tugging at the ends which made him groan even more.

He picks me up and sits me down on his desk, pushing my upper body back. "Gonna give you your reward now baby. You were such a smart girl." he starts praising me. "Well, have a good teacher." "Oh yeah?" he smirks and pulls my skirt off. "Hmm, Professor Snape is actually really nice." Suddenly I feel pain flowing through my thigh, making me hiss.

I look down at him as he starts to kiss the skin he just bit. "Careful baby, don‘t forget who‘s in charge here." he mutters against my thigh, nibbling on it and preppering it with wet kisses. My hands find their way into his curly hair. "Please.." i whisper as he does the same to my other thigh.

"I would miss those little begs so much If I wouldn‘t have had them to hear over holidays." he mumbles against my skin, his lips now on my underwear. He groans as he pulls it down and sees my glistening folds.

And just like a starving man he pushed his fingers through my folds before lapping at my clit, making me bite down on my lip instantly. "Shit.." I breath out, closing my eyes too. "Nuh uh baby, look at me while I eat that sweet pussy of yours." he smirks when my eyes opened up again.

I look down at him, seeing just his eyes and a bit of his nose. Not once does he look away while eating me out and I can see the desire he's holding back right now clearly.

I feel him sliding two fingers inside me without a warning, groaning when they just slipped inside like nothing.

"Fuck me, please.." I beg, not being able to wait any longer. He lets go of me, his mouth and chin glistening from my wetness. I see him licking his lips, with half a smile, almost making me come just from the sight.

"Gonna pound that pussy numb, baby. Just preparing you for what will happen over the holidays." Since we had that agreement, I stayed almost every holidays here so I could spent them with him. "You're staying, right?" he asks as he sees me in thoughts. I start smiling and nod. " Of course." "Hmm good girl."

He pulls me closer to him again until my legs wrap around his hips. His hands open his belt, pushing his jeans and boxer shorts down, revealing his already throbbing cock.

He lets the tip glide over my clit teasing me. His mouth is open, breathing heavy and looking at me through his lashes. "Ready Baby?" "Uh-huh." I mumble, nodding before he finally pushes inside me.

"Fuck yes, so fucking tight." he groans as he slowly pushes inch for inch inside. I let my head fall back and bite down on my bottom li to not moan too loud.

He starts thrusting forward with his hips, making the table squeak against the floor and echoing through the classroom. "I swear I will never get tired of this pussy." he smirks down at me while his words send butterflies down my stomach. I let out a little whine as his right hand wanders up to my throat, cocking me just so slightly but good.

"You still gonna write bad grades, huh?" he ask me, thrusting harder now. "N-no?" I answer but it sounds more like a question. Suddenly he pulls out and turns me around so I'm laying flat with my stomach on the desk. He spreads my legs and pushes inside me again, putting his whole weight on me.

A moan slips past my lips but he puts his hand over my mouth, grinning arrogant. "Let me guess, 'oh daddy it's too much', right?" he mocks while rocking my whole shit into the table.

He pulls his hand away from my mouth and wraps it around my throat again, squeezing with more pressure than before. "Shit Mattheo" I groan, letting my eyes roll back into my head.

"What is it baby? Thought you're able to handle it hm? Should I stop?" "No, no don't stop." I whine out at the though of losing the feeling of him.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain going through my body. I look behind me over my shoulder and see Mattheo smiling at me like a innocent angel. Yeah, right. He slaps my ass again, this time harder.

"What? Did you think this is gonna be all nice and shit? You still wrote a bad grade. Gonna have to punish you at least a little hm."

He does it again, over and over again until my whole ass is fire red. His thrusting of course continues without faltering. "Fuck I'm close." I groan, my eyes already shut. His hand slides under my body towards my clit and starts rubbing circles on it with his fingers.

"Come around my cock baby." And shit, I did. I feel my walls clenching around him, milking him almost. I hear him groan behind me and his thrust getting more uneven. "O-oh fuckk.." I feel him coming inside me, his head falling down against my shoulder.

"Shit, you always do this to me." he says before kissing my skin. "What do you mean?" "You always pull me in, would have fucked you no matter what grade you got. You just got me wrapped around your finger." I smile at his words, knowing damn well he got me hooked too.

The end was Kida rushed I'm sorry, let me know If you liked it 👀

Taglist: 💞💗💕

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thank you for every support 🫶🏻

Sorry it took so long but had a writing block

xoxo sarah <3

[skipper1331]

Secret (2) // Alexia Putellas

| Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | extra |

She didn‘t try to follow you.

She didn‘t try to text or call you.

She didn‘t try to fight for you.

She let you.

She let you walk through that door.

She let you go.

They say that you only really appreciate something when it is no longer there - she understood that now. It never occurred to her how terrible it must have been for you to be her "secret," even if she never wanted it that way.

Plagued by the fear of what others would think or what would happen, she dreamed of a love without worries and anxiety; in her eyes, this love only happened behind closed doors. She didn't realize how bad it actually was for you, even though she knew exactly that you wanted a typical romance book love story. She didn't deserve you and even less deserved that you had put up with her in secret for so long.

You, on the other hand, were caught up in your anger. You had put up with this secrecy for over a year, but a limit had been crossed - your heart ached just in her presence.

She had managed to nestle herself in your heart with her charming smile, her sparkling eyes and her elegant but captivating nature. She was Alexia Putellas, of course she had done it. She could do anything when she set her mind to. She had won the Ballon D‘or twice, the World Cup and dozens of other trophies and titles - only the title of calling you her wife, she hadn't managed.

In the nights where she couldn‘t sleep, she had dreamed of marrying you - you were different. Any feelings she knew before no longer existed. It was only you.

And you were no longer hers.

-

After your break up with the Catalonian, your motivation started to rise again as the weight you had been carrying in your heart and on your shoulders wasn‘t there anymore. You went out with your friends, explored the city a bit more and focused on yourself. You deserved to be happy and you knew that. You treated yourself with new shoes (shoes you had been eyeing for awhile) and finally an own Netflix account.

In training, you went to your absolute limits, playing wonderfully and yet having fun - the love to the sport filled your veins again.

You were glowing - the new look suited you.

But when you were at home, it was different. Two people met at the doorstep. Person 1 who glowed and person 2 who sulked. As soon as the threshold was crossed, personality 2 took over your body, mind and soul. Your broken heart showed itself. You hadn't managed to remove the second toothbrush in your bathroom or empty Alexia’s drawer yet. Her clothes were yours too, you wore them as soon as personality 2 needed the comfort which was needed constantly.

You cried.

You screamed into your pillow.

You ate ice cream, chocolate, anything.

Watched sad shows and movies.

And cried more.

Nobody seemed to notice your switch of personality - who should?

No one knew that you and Alexia used to be a couple..

No one knew that your heart was broken..

I‘m capable of handling that on my own.

I‘m an independent woman.

..except one person: Alba.

unknown

hey, it‘s Alba.

Ale told me what happened.

If you need someone to talk to (a friend), feel free to message me:)

You appreciated that she sent you a message, her intention probably kindhearted but she was Alexia‘s sister after all.

You replied with 'thank you' and sort of an appreciation.

Time would heal your wounds. Hopefully.

In the nexts weeks, you focused on the upcoming uwcl matches and getting enough recovery after your training sessions.

You like to think that you didn‘t even look at Alexia but you knew better than that. She‘s Alexia and breathtaking, you could not not look at her.

But you tried your hardest not to give in when she looked at you, looking at you with those sad doe eyes. Sometimes it seemed like she wanted to approach you or even say something yet she never did, she stayed silent.

Was it wrong to hope for her approach? That she would just kiss you in the middle of the pitch?

Maybe it was wrong but you couldn’t help it. You loved her and you knew she loved you too. And love, no matter how much you want it sometimes, doesn't just disappear. It always leaves its mark.

Added to that, Alexia wasn‘t just anybody - she was the first person with whom you truly felt the butterflies and every cheesy book describing feeling.

She could have been your greatest love story - the love story you always wished for.

-

"Good luck" Alexia said, her hand brushing against yours as she walked past you.

She smiled a bit, immediately looking away, joining Aitana and Keira.

"Good luck" you whispered back, surprised that she had spoken to you, nonetheless kindly accepting that she did.

The first leg against Chelsea went alright, Aitana opened the score as you made it 2-0, 5 minutes before the ref blew her whistle.

You shook hands with each opponent and talking to your friends for a bit.

"Oh please, I’m your biggest fan, swap your jersey with me" the dramatic voice of Niamh Charles shrilled through the conversation you were having with Guro and Erin. You laughed, Niamh‘s arm around your shoulder, "oh please, please" she fake cried, the girl nothing but laughter in her voice.

"Aren‘t the dozens of my jersey enough?" you joined, laughing.

It was an unspoken rule whenever Niamh and you faced each other to swap jerseys as the two of you had met in the u-teams, becoming friends in an instant and being close friends ever since.

"Nah, babe, you know I can never get enough of you" she rolled her eyes, pressing a sloppy kiss to cheek.

Disgusted, you wiped it off and shoved her away.

Alexia watched the scene in front of her with fire in her eyes, oh how she hated Niamh - the green eyed monster talking.

"Jealous?" the soft voice of Ingrid pulled her back to reality.

"¿Que? No! I’m not jealous" Alexia’s accent was thick, her voice raspy and mind completely somewhere else.

"You should ask her out, I think she likes you" the Norse proposed, tapping the Catalonians shoulder as she walked to Frido, leaving the captain alone.

Ale had always suspected that Fridolina and Ingrid knew about the two of you because they were your best friends, but that wasn't the case. Alexia realized that only now since Ingrid had suggested asking you out - you had always been honest and respectful with her wishes - accepting them, even though they broke your heart day by day.

No one knew that you were more than just teammates.

They were clueless.

You were amazing.

And she was stupid - stupid to think that you would tell anyone when you hadn't even told your best friends and stupid for letting you go.

-

The second leg ended up in 2-1, 4-1 on average which meant that Barcelona would play in the Champions League final.

You were thrilled when the ref blew his whistle, so happy about the fact that you had the chance to win the trophy.

On the other hand, you felt bad for the Chelsea players, they had given everything as they tried their best to win. Unfortunately for them, it wasn‘t enough. You approached Niamh who had tears in her eyes, pulling her in a hug. You comforted her the best you could but loosing an important match would sting for awhile, no matter how much you praised the defender for her game.

"You know, I will burn your jersey at home" the defender chuckled, nonetheless taking her jersey off while you did the same - swap.

"That‘s only fair" you grinned, wearing now the blue shirt.

Once again, Alexia glared at Niamh, hating the fact that you were wearing 'Charles 21' on the back instead of 'Alexia 11' or 'Putellas and your number' but she knew it was her own fault.

If she had just listened to you or introduced you as her girlfriend with such pride right from the start then she wouldn't be in the situation of a broken heart and jealousy.

She loved you and was forever sorry for hiding and neglecting you.

You deserved better than that, way better.

-

Winning the champions league felt euphoric.

The final match had been intense, both sides fighting for goals as the ref showed many yellows cards.

But Barcelona did it, they had done the unthinkable - beating Lyon and taking their revenge.

It didn‘t matter that the score was only 1-0. That one goal meant more than anything to everybody of the team. You felt so much pride and joy, the stadium chanting while you received your medals and lifting the trophy.

You wanted to cherish this moment forever.

"I‘m proud of you" la reina stated as she stood next to you. You didn’t even notice that she had approached you.

"Thank you, Ale, it means a lot" you smiled at the midfielder. Your smile was so genuine and wide, your eyes sparkly and shiny - you looked so beautiful, in Alexia’s eyes.

She couldn’t help but kiss your forehead.

You let her.

Her lips lingered for a moment, pulling back with rosy cheeks before she walked to her mother and sister who were waiting in the stands.

Your eyes followed the Catalonian, her mother hugging her tightly while Alba looked in the direction Ale came from - she saw you and waved.

-

Back in Barcelona, the team + family/ friends went out to celebrate. Drinks were getting drowned, songs were being yelled and dance moves were being showed. The vibe and mood was amazing, everybody letting loose after the last few intense weeks.

You couldn’t remember how many drinks you‘ve had but it was a good amount - each of them delicious.

Making your way over to the bar, you ordered yet another drink. You wouldn’t say you were drunk per se but you also weren’t sober anymore.

Nobody was, or cared.

You won the champions league, you were allowed to party.

While you waited for your drink, a familiar unfamiliar voice talked to you, "hola"

you turned to the side, seeing the younger Putellas standing next to you.

"hi" you replied.

"Congratulations! Your goal was amazing" she beamed while you smiled and mumbled a thanks. "my sister can be an ass, you know? Oh yeah, you do." she giggled at her own joke - she clearly wasn‘t sober either, "but she loves you. She‘s been sulking for weeks."

You tried to listen the best you could, questioning if you would remember the conversation in the morning.

"She even told mamá about you and how she fucked things up"

You gasped, "no way! She talked about me? I‘m so shocked"

The sister laughed, playfully hitting your chest as you joined her laughter - eyes watching the two of you.

"You should make her jealous"

"Yeah, sure" you replied, rolling your eyes, "as if Ale‘s jealous"

"More than you think. She doesn’t like your friend Charles, for example. 'she should wear my name' blah blah blah" Alba explained, your mind spinning for several reasons.

"How should I make her jealous then?"

"Easy. Follow me" the girl grabbed your arm, pulling you on the dance floor, "hey! my drink" you grumbled, the Putellas sister ignoring you.

She turned around, looping her arms around your waist as yours went around her neck. You followed Alba‘s lead, Shakira blasting through the speakers. Looking around, you searched for Alexia. It didn‘t take long to find those pretty eyes who looked nothing but angry. Her jaw was clenched, hands balled into fists as she shifted uncomfortably around.

She was not enjoying the show.

"Bet she‘ll be here in 3…" Alba leaned in, "2…." as you did the same, "1…"

Strong hands on your hips pulled you away, a protective arm smacking around your waist, Alexia glaring at her sister - so much fire in her eyes, "you‘re allowed to look but do not touch what’s mine" she growled, "now leave" her voice was stern and firm. Your ex girlfriend stood now in front of you, looking at you, checking you out while Alba walked away, winking at you.

"You look nice" the girl smiled charmingly, the green eyed monster completely gone.

"What was that?!"

"I said you looked-"

"No. Do not touch what’s mine?!" you mocked, your heart secretly racing at her possessiveness.

"I won‘t let her kiss you!" her voice was raised, jealousy pumping through her veins again, "I‘m the only one who will do so" the thought of you ever touching, kissing, loving someone else made Alexia furios.

She loved you.

"Do you understand me?"

The alcohol in Ale‘s system made her bold, confident and possessive - she didn‘t care who was watching or listening. All she cared about was you.

You had never seen her like that before - openly jealous, with her hands on your hips and chests touching in public - it was hot. She was hot.

"Yes, I do" you replied, somehow starstruck.

"Good girl"

You died on the spot.

Was it hot in here? It definitively was! Or was it just Alexia?

It was just Alexia.

Your knees went weak, your heart was racing and skin on fire.

In a crowded bar, surrounded by family, friends and colleagues she smashed her lips against yours. You responded as eagerly while she tried to pull you impossibly closer - oh, how she had missed you and your kisses.

This kiss wasn‘t like the ones you shared before, it was pure need.

"Let‘s go" the midfielder mumbled, trying to catch her breath, the same as you did. She waited for a respond - your consent - before she left.

With you.

[justporo]

i came uP WITH ANOTHER JUST NOW Tav has a bad dream about Astarion dying and is getting irrationally protective- Astarion must find a way to reassure that no, he is NOT going to randomly keel over, and after proceeding to Make It Worse with things like "it was just a dream" ends up resorting to trying to make Tav laugh to lighten the mood

My dear mushy, yet again you present me with a wonderful idea. This struck a chord with me for the last few days because I was feeling a little anxious and thus very much in the mood for some angst. So here you go! Also remember how I said I was taking a breather? I am! But I still love writing too much to not do it… Also this very self-indulgently helped me with some of my anxiety these past days. (Note tho: I am neither diagnosed with anxiety or a an expert, I can only describe what I can relate to and can imagine, just to put it out there)

Pairing: Astarion / Fem!Tav (You)

Warnings: Talk of trauma and nightmares, descriptions of some violence and death

Wordcount: 2,3k

Tav wakes from repeating nightmares about Astarion. She sneaks out of bed in an attempt to hide it but gets caught by Astarion who immediately notices something is wrong and wants to comfort her.

It‘s where my demons hide (I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you)

You woke from your trancelike meditation. On your back, you felt paralysed for a moment, your heart still heavy with dream images that filled you with icy dread. You couldn’t move and felt a single hot tear running down your cheek as a silent sob left your chapped open lips.

The images were still vivid in front of your eyes: Astarion, full of blood, falling over, his face distorted in pain, agony and desperation in his ruby eyes, panickingly grabbing for you; and then: life leaving his ruby eyes until they were only hollow.

And in your dreams you screamed and raged with all your force trying to reach him in time, to prevent what was happening, to at least hold his head in your lap as life passes from him. Never reaching him before it was too late.

The nightmares had come for quite some time now. They always followed the same pattern - and so did you: waking up in the middle of your ‚night‘, freezing from cold sweat, tears running and desperately trying to not wake Astarion.

Because you knew it wasn‘t real. There he was, right beside you. Softly breathing in his own dreams. His face so peaceful and relaxed.

You felt an incredible urge to grab him and kiss him awake to truly know he was there and fine. You just wanted to know that whatever you had dreamt: it wouldn‘t happen, it didn‘t happen; he was alive and well and next to you.

You sat up and felt the goosebumps all over your body and you shuddered. Starting to rub your arms you looked over to where Astarion was. And he was indeed peacefully slumbering - or deeply meditating as was the custom for you elves. You spent quite some heartbeats to watch him - how his chest slowly rose and fell, how a single white lock fell onto his forehead, how his facial expressions softly changed as he was dreaming.

Your heart ached and you couldn‘t shake the dread that kept hold of you. It sat deeply in your bones by now, hands around your throat and closing it‘s fingers. You quickly started to get out of bed, grabbing Astarion‘s shirt that was still laying on the floor in front of the bed and threw it over your head. You felt that the sobs were coming and you wanted to be out of here before the vampire caught onto it - he had enough to deal with, so you wouldn‘t burden him with your brain harassing you with its bad, irrational nightmare fantasies.

The soft pat-pats of your naked feet being the only sound as you walked, you left the bedroom and went down to the kitchen. There you grabbed some of the leftover milk from the day before and then went into the living room. As you lifted one of the thick brocade curtains you saw that it was already pretty dark outside. Some blue was still to be seen in the sky but it was surely and quickly to be chased away by the moon and the stars.

You drew the curtain away from the tall window and sat down in the alcove. Drinking your mug of milk your mind was still on your nightmares. You felt the wound up coil of anxiety in your stomach - it was bad this time. It surely would take some time before you would have calmed down completely. The tension was still way to present this time, making your foot that was on the floor tap nervously while you kept feeling restless.

„My sweet, it‘s way too early to be up…“ The voice of your subject of worry made you whip your head from looking out the window to Astarion. He was standing in the doorframe, sheets messily wrapped around his hips. He looked very drowsy and tired and not fully awake - a very rare look and mood for him.

„Also is that my shirt you‘re wearing because rawr, if I dare…“, his words trailed off when he realised that something was not quite right.

He saw the tension in your body, noticed the unnecessarily hard grip on your mug and your restless foot. Immediately, he was fully awake and rushing over to you: „My love, what is it, what‘s wrong?“ He sat down beside you and pulled you into his lap - no room for protest. His ruby eyes were clouded with worry, brows furrowed and his mouth in a tense line.

You tried to just shake your head and smile at him to assure him that everything was fine, you‘d just woken up a little early. But your body was traitorous, your eyes filled with tears and you could feel your chest start to heave - the urge to let out your sobs and howl in agony almost unbearable.

And as Astarion softly moved a strand of your reddish-brown hair behind your ear and then let his thumb softly wander over your cheekbone, then over your lips and then placed it on your chin lightly, it became too much to bear.

Sobs came and shuddered through your whole body, tears flowed openly. Astarion grabbed you and held you tightly to his chest. You wrapped your arms around him and squeezed him back hard - really having to feel that he was there. The vampire carefully placed his chin on the top of your head and softly swayed you from side to side. He said nothing for a while only humming softly - an old elven lullaby -, knowing that nothing he could put into words would make a difference in this very moment - he just held you. Because he knew what it felt like and had had to go for it alone, two centuries of nightmares, and he‘d never wish on another living soul having to go through something like this with no one there to spare you a little solace. This and the way you could feel his chest slightly vibrate while humming calmed you down slowly.

„Having nightmares again?“, Astarion whispered softly when the acute shudders of grief had calmed down a little. You burrowed your wet face at his chest, not wanting to admit that he had caught you. „Don‘t deny it, my love, don‘t think I didn‘t notice you getting up in the middle of the day and sometimes only returning hours later“, he continued. You could basically hear that his brows were furrowed. With a soft nudge on your shoulders he pushed you a little from his chest so he could take a look at you: „I‘m not one to pry and I respect your privacy, Tav, but I‘m worried. When was the last night of a full rest for you, hm?“ His eyes were so full of warmth and worry that you were sure yours were immediately filled with immense guilt. But you were still reluctant, having promised yourself to keep these problems your own.

Astarion softly cocked his head. „Don‘t you think, just a little bit, my love, that I deserve to know? Wouldn‘t you like to know? I bet if it‘d been me you would have already wreaked all Nine Hells‘ havoc upon me to find out what‘s bugging me“, he said while his tone turned sassy slightly. One eyebrow was raised, signature smirk was now turned on at least to half force.

And he knew you well and he was right, that bastard.

You cleared your throat. „It‘s nothi-“, you started. Astarion‘s face immediately dropped: eyes half-lidded, lips pouting. „We can play this the easy way, my heart, or the hard one - I have all the time in the world“, he threatened but his tone was still soft.

You sighed in desperation and looked up to the ceiling. Then you let your gaze drop. You had withdrawn your arms from around him and now nervously pressed down on your one palm with the thumb of the other hand. „I keep dreaming you‘re dying - and I can‘t do anything about it“, you admitted flat-out but did not look up.

„That‘s it?“, Astarion responded. Now you looked up - did he just say that like it was nothing? You kept staring at him in confusion and you surely felt anger rise up inside you. The vampire‘s gaze jumped from yours to the side and back, obviously not grasping what was so harrowing. When you kept staring, he said: „Well, do you have any idea how often I dream about stuff like that happening to you - and me for that matter? And I‘m here, am I not? It‘s irrational, nothing is wro-“ „You insensitive prick“, you yelled and weakly hit him on the chest with your flat hand.

„Do you know how it feels? Watching you die - vividly- over and over again! Covered in your own blood and I can do NOTHING! Only watch you as the life flows from your body…“ The tears were back and you could see how through your blurring vision Astarion‘s face changed from surprise to shame.

He pulled you in again: „I‘m sorry.“ This time he borrowed his face in your hair - you could feel how his face scrunched in agony as he kept squeezing you. „I‘m so sorry, I… didn‘t know how it is for you…“

You lifted your head from his chest with a gasp. The sobs had subsided once more and you were now at this awkward hiccupy phase of a really bad cry. „It‘s like… something burning in my chest“, you said, emotions still crushing over you, wanting to let it all out this time; to rid yourself of it if possible. Your hands rose to your chest, one grabbing the other. „Sometimes it‘s constant, for days on end, a constant buzz. Sometimes it claws its way up to my throat and I feel this pressure. And it‘s just sitting there, reminding me of the fear I have. And at worst it‘s like this impending doom - it holds my heart in its hand and it squeezes from time to time to make me hurt and my heart can only flutter against it like a hummingbird in a cage that‘s way too small. I don‘t know how it feels for you, but that‘s how it is for me…“ You squeezed your hand so hard it hurt - but still not even remotely close to the hurt you felt in your chest sometimes.

Astarion softly grabbed your hands with his and looked at you, sorrow in his eyes. „Well, if it wouldn‘t be so sad that would almost be poetic“, he replied with a sad smile. „I know the feelings you describe well. Too well. Perhaps I‘ve grown too accustomed to it to no longer relish their absence“, he explained his eyes slowly drifting from yours into a gaze that was a thousand leagues away. And now you understood his reaction a little bit better: his was one of an animal knowing nothing but abuse and imprisonment. While yours had barely scratched the surface of the sorrows of this world.

„Astarion“, you whispered softly, withdrew one hand from his and touched your fingers to his face, pulling him back to you - to the here and now.

The vampire closed his eyes for a short moment. When he opened them again he‘d come back to you. „It was still an insensitive reaction of me, for that I apologise.“ „You shouldn‘t have to feel like that or even get used to it. And I‘m sorry I shouted at you“, you answered with a whisper. You felt guilt now.

„No, my love, it was absolutely right to call me out on that and if it helps: it‘s getting better. Slowly, but better. And I‘m sure these storm clouds will pass for you too“, he answered and pulled your face to his, leaning his forehead against yours and his hand softly cupping your cheek. Warmth filled his ruby eyes again and a soft smile danced on his lips.

„Now, I propose whenever you wake with a horrendous nightmare you poke me in the side so the following yelp and curse tell you that I am still very much alive - or unalive for that matter, you get it - and myself and here with you. Promise?“, he spoke and his eyes widened as he made you look into his eyes.

„Only if you do it too“, you answered as you felt some more sobs threateningly bubble up in your chest; this time they weren‘t in sorrow though.

„Only if you promise to not smother me with your pillow when I raise you from your precious and much needed beauty sleep, my love“, Astarion answered with a big smirk now. You pushed away from him but couldn‘t stop yourself from laughing at the banter: „You‘re such a dick sometimes.“ Astarion just laughed dirtily in response - nothing you didn‘t tell him at least three times a day. „Yes, and you‘re a hag sometimes, my sweet“, he replied with a grin, fangs showing, ignoring the obvious contradictory statement he had just made.

You stuck out your tongue at him and as you did it you realised that he must‘ve very well known what he was doing. The tension and anxiety had actually left your body for good. You hoped it would stay this way. And you hoped Astarion might feel the same. Grabbing his hand, you leaned back against his chest, snuggeling up to him. You pressed your spread fingers against his, watching how his hands and fingers were quite a bit larger than yours.

There was still much to talk about, to unravel, to work through; for both of you - but maybe not tonight. Maybe it was enough that you unraveled just a tiny piece tonight. You had so many more nights to slowly get to the rest.

Astarion stared at your hands that pressed together, obviously lost in his own thoughts. But then he smiled and crossed his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand reassuringly: „Now, promise?“ „Promise and promise“, you replied solemnly and waited for Astarion to say it back. „Now, you say it!“, you said pushingly and squeezed his hand.

The vampire rolled his eyes but with a smile on his face, twisted your joint hands and pressed a kiss on the back of your hand: „Promise!“

[bravo4iscool]

the sacrifice (simon „ghost“ riley x reader)

soft!simon, angst with happy ending, happy (open) end, technically gn!reader, love confessions, fluff, angst, dumbass!simon, medic!reader, (ooc!simon)

Ghost goes back to ignoring you after he left the med bay and he hates himself for it. He doesn‘t want to ignore you but he can‘t allow himself to be weak. He needs to be strong, he can‘t afford to be vulnerable.

or, you’re the medic for tf 141 but ever since you killed someone in action to protect yourself and ghost he‘s ignoring you.

wordcount: 4,8k

(masterlist)

„You killed for me.“

„I did.“

„Don‘t ever do that again.“ Ghost looks at you with piercing eyes and you swallow. You want to answer, ask him why he was being so cold and distant but he just stands up, clutching his shoulder.

„Ghost…“ you sigh. „I was just about to check your shoulder and leg. Sit down again. I can‘t let you leave like that,“ you explain but he shuts you up with his gaze.

„You’re not the only medic here, are you?“ he replies and you’re taken aback by that. Yes, you weren’t the only doctor on base but you were assigned specifically to the 141. Why did he want to search for another one?

„That is right but-“

He interrupts you, „I will find another one.“ With that he limped out of the room, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

You stare at the open door, still not really processing what just happened. Normally you and Ghost were good, you never had any problems. What the fuck was going on with him now?

~

„Ghost to Mama. You copy?“ Your head shoots up as you heard your Lieutenant‘s voice. You scramble to get a grip on your radio.

„Here Mama. Copy,“ you reply, ready for anything. You were currently in a hideout not far from the actual fight going on. You were on standby in case something went south. Sounds like it did.

„I’m hit. Need ya here.“ Ghost answers and you tense. You stand up, already fastening the straps of your gear around you.

„Copy. Send me your location. I‘m Oscar Mike.“

„Roger that.“

And gone you were. You left the hideout, carefully clutching your rifle. While you had weaponry training you weren’t as good as the boys of the 141, obviously.

It was enough to survive though.

You scan your surroundings, quickly glancing at your watch. A red dot appears on the digital map. Lord, how thankful you were for those digital watches. Made things a lot easier.

You carefully moved forward, your rifle lifted, ready to engage if needed. The way to Ghost thankfully wasn‘t that long, so you‘d soon wouldn‘t be alone anymore.

„Ghost? How copy?“ you ask after a couple minutes, making sure he didn‘t pass out on you.

„Fucking shit,“ comes the fast reply. You need to suppress a chuckle at his gruff voice. He sounded mad, annoyed even.

„How bad is it? Can you walk?“ you want to know, your body on high alert. You didn't want to order a medevac. Ghost hated that. Made him feel weak you found out. He always wanted to be the imitating, unbreakable Lieutenant Simon „Ghost“ Riley.

Bullshit, if he‘d ask you. Everyone had a weak side, even him, so why didn‘t he want to show it?

„Wouldn’t say I can walk,“ his voice sounds through your earpiece and you groan. That meant medevac. How funny. He‘d be pissed at you for at least a week. How amazing.

„Sounds like medevac to me,“ you respond, your body jerking to the right as you notice a movement. It was a bird. You take a deep breath to calm down. „You think you can make it to rendezvous spot with my help?“

“If you get me outta here first,” he grunts through the comms and you think about the worst.

“What do you mean?” you ask, almost at his location. Only a couple more meters. Before he could answer you saw something beneath a destroyed building move.

Was that Ghost? Fucking hell!

You quicken your steps, eyes roaming around for any possible enemy hideout. “Ghost?” you ask, also through the comms, hoping to get an answer.

“Yea,” you hear his quiet but deep voice beneath the rubble and you let out a relieved breath. You crouch down beside him, pushing your rifle behind your back.

“Do I wanna know how you ended up here?” you mumble, trying to get a picture of the current situation. There was a concrete block on his shoulder and you knew it would be hell to get it off him but you needed to. And you noticed his blood soaked pants. He probably was shot or stabbed in the leg. You couldn’t call for the others right now. Not, when they almost eliminated the target.

Ghost doesn’t answer and you know he doesn’t because he was saving his strength. You recognise that with a nod.

“I will take a look at your leg first,” you let him know, unpacking your first aid kit. “Then we’ll get this fucking piece of concrete of your shoulder. Sounds good?” You glance at him and you notice a slight nod.

“Well, then let’s go,” you say to yourself, quickly getting to work.

-

“Fuck this shit,” you curse as you remove the last piece of rubble from Ghost. You were panting, your hair falling in front of your eyes. “I wasn’t trained for this shit,” you mumble, once again unpacking your first aid kit to look at his shoulder. He didn’t say a word.

“You really need to stop getting shot,” you mumble, trying to clean the wound as good as possible without ripping his clothes. You did fast and good work and only moments later the wound was cleaned and dressed.

“Can you stand up?” you ask him, gripping his healthy arm already. “Come on big boy,” you grunt as you pull him up, trying to steady him with your body. It was harder than you thought.

“Medevac will be easier if we go to the rendezvous point. They have better access there.” You look at him as you explain and you can’t help but notice how slack his body looks. Like he would collapse any moment.

And then, he did. He pulls your body down with him as his legs give out. A surprised yelp leaves your mouth and you try to stand up as soon as possible.

“No, no, no!” you curse. “Don’t get unconscious now!” You remove his arm from your shoulder, turning him on his side. Then you take his face in your hands to take a look at his eyes. They were closed. Shit!

You stood up, positioning yourself above him, a leg on either side of his upper body. Then you reached for your comms.

“Mama to HAVOC. Do you copy?” You almost anxiously wait for an answer. “Urgent medevac required. Ghost is down and unconscious. Transmitting location coordinates now,” you tell them, your eyes scanning your surroundings.

After they assure you the heli will be there any minute you try to contact the others of the team.

“Mama to Bravo Six, how do you copy?” No answer.

“Mama to Soap, you copy?” No answer.

You don’t even bother to try and contact Gaz. If the others didn’t answer he wouldn’t too. You curse again and take a look at Ghost. He was still unconscious but at least he was breathing regularly.

You raise your head again, pulling your rifle from your back. Who knows. Maybe you’d need it…

You made sure to take a look behind your back every once in a while. Always watch your six. Ghost almost beat that into you once you started to go to the field with them.

Then, suddenly you hear something. You raise your rifle, scanning the abandoned buildings in front of you. You really didn’t wanna engage with any tangos. You were just a doctor…

You tried again to reach Price of Soap, Gaz even but they didn‘t answer, so your only option was to engage if you would be attacked.

You were looking down at Ghost again, praying that he‘d just stand up and say that it all was a joke and he was actually fine but you knew he didn‘t do stuff like that. Especially on missions.

„I swear to God Ghost if I kill someone today it‘s on you,“ you mumble, once again turning around to look behind you. Then you heard a shuffling sound. You yanked around, greeted by a tango running in your direction.

He was holding a hand grenade and you needed to make a short process. You raise your rifle and fire two precise shots. The man drops dead to the ground. You let out a shaky breath.

You leave your position above Ghost, hurrying over to the now dead man, taking away his gun and the grenade. You were lucky he didn‘t have it activated already.

You try to reach Price again or ask when the evac will arrive but then you see another tango running into your direction, hiding behind a brick of concrete.

„Oh fuck off,“ you curse, firing a couple of shots but he stayed hidden. Before you could fire another round you heard Price call your name.

„Mama? You okay?“

„Yea, just need a bit of help!“ you answer, more than glad that your Captain was finally there.

~

Ghost doesn’t talk to you for at least a week. You’re surprised when he shows up someday to ask you for pain killers.

You hand them to him, curiously eying him. “Is everything alright?” you ask him, leaning against your desk.

He only nods at you and you sigh.

“Well, then. Good luck with the next mission,” you force a smile at him. „I won‘t be tagging along since I have some important patients I need to keep an eye on,“ you quickly explain, not that he‘d care…

„Mhh,“ he simply nods and turns around to leave. You feel tears burning in your eyes. Why was he being like that? You’ve always been friends with him and joked around 24/7. So, why was he so distant towards you? You saved his life! Was that scratching on his ego the wrong way or what? You didn‘t know what to think anymore…

A familiar voice rips you out of your thoughts. You look up and see a soldier walking into your office.

„Lance Corporal Walker, how can I help you?“ You forcibly smile at the young soldier approaching you. He returns your smile.

„Hey Doc. Everything fine with the Lieutenant?“ he asks, looking into the direction Ghost left. You suppress a sign, nodding.

„Nothing to worry about.“ You push yourself away from the edge of the table, walking over to lay opposite of it. „Another wound I need to stitch up?“ you then ask, trying to redirect the topic of the conversation.

Walker laughs, sitting down on the lay. „Not exactly. I think I may have strained my shoulder,“ he explains, pointing towards his shoulder with his head.

„I believe that‘s a task for your physiotherapist, not me, no?“ You lightly chuckle, putting on gloves anyway.

„Maybe“, he smirks. „But I like you more than Markus. He‘s always so rough with me.“

„You're in the military Walker. You should be used to it,“ you laugh, instructing him to take off his shirt.

„I know, I am. But that doesn‘t mean I like it.“ He grins at you, his eyes quickly drifting to your lips. You don‘t notice that and continue examining his shoulder.

„Jesus, what did you do?“ you look up at him with shock. „Your muscles are far too tense!“ You let go of his shoulder, stripping off your gloves. „This will take a lot of PT…“

He groans in annoyance and puts his shirt back on. „So Markus it is?“ he asks, stretching his neck.

„Jup,“ you answer, pulling out his file to note his visit and your diagnosis. „I’ll call him as soon as possible so you can schedule your appointments with him“.

„Can I also schedule an appointment with you?“ he says with a hint of something in his voice and you freeze. What was he trying right now?

„You have another injury?“ you try to play dumb, turning around to look at him, file still in your hands. He smirks at you, closing the distance between you two. You take a step back.

„Nah,“ he shakes his head. „But there's a good place in town where the food‘s immaculate…“ his voice drops and he tries to cage you in against your desk.

„Stop it,“ you tell him in a firm voice, pushing him away. „I won‘t go out with you and you should know that.“ You walk towards the door of your office and open it. „Please leave now, Markus will contact you about your PT.“

“Come on Doc,” Walker almost whines and you want to laugh at how pathetic he’s being. “Just one dinner,” he continues to try but you shake your head.

“I said no and it’ll stay that way. Besides, I have someone waiting for me at home,” you say, keeping the fact that it was actually your dog from him.

As long as you had your husky, Nala, you were fine, you didn’t need anyone else. Except for that somebody…

Walker only snorts and walks past you. “If you ever change your mind, let me know.” He winks and leaves. You take a deep breath, closing the door behind you.

You’d always liked Walker in a way but you should’ve known that he’d take it the wrong way. They all did…

-

You’re woken up by a harsh and loud knock. You groan as you curse and roll out of bed. Who the fuck decided to knock on your door at—you check your bedside talke clock—freaking 2 AM?

You quickly throw on a hoodie—under frequent knocking—before you rip open your door.

You’re about to throw a tantrum but then you see who stands in front of your door. It’s Soap, covered in blood, his chest heaving from heavy breaths.

“Soap! Is- are you okay?” you start reaching out for him but he grabs your hand, shaking his head.

“Ghost,” he then cracks out, already pulling you along. Your world starts to spin. What is with Ghost? What happened? Was he okay?

All those questions ran around in your head as your friend and comrade pulled you into the med bay. “He…only wants- to be treated by… you ,” he pants out between heavy breaths, almost shoving you into one of the patient rooms.

And there he laid, in his blood covered uniform. You rush towards him, too scared to really touch him, so you let your hand ghost over his mask.

“What happened?” you turn to Soap, demanding an immediate answer.

“Ambush,” he only says, visibly swallowing. He was scared for his friend. He couldn’t lose Ghost, he was all he had left besides Price and Gaz.

And you of course…

That wasn‘t the answer you needed. „I asked you once and I won‘t ask again Sergeant MacTavish. What happened?“ Your eyes turn dark as you stare at Soap, waiting for the so desperately needed answer.

„Two hits,“ he then says. „One in the shoulder, one in the leg. And multiple knife slashes…“ he then says, fidgeting with his hands. You nod, straightening you back.

„Find one of the nurses and let yourself get patched up. Let me take care of the Lieutenant,“ you instruct him, already pulling a pair of gloves over your hands.

Soap stumbles out of the room, leaving you alone with Ghost. „Well, let‘s get to work,“ you mumble to yourself, getting all the supplies you‘d need. „You really can‘t look after yourself, can you?“

You sigh as you get to work, cleaning and patching up wound after wound. You don’t talk while you carefully stitch him together, only looking at him with worry in your eyes.

When you pull off his mask your hand lingers a little too long on his scarred cheek and when you realize you pull your hand back, as if it‘s been burned.

You shake your head, trying to sort out your thoughts. Ghost didn‘t like you that way, he never has! You needed to get that out of your head!

Your hands slightly tremble when you start to disinfect the little scars on his cheeks and on his nose and you take a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. You were trained for this, you could do your job under a pressure unknown to the majority of mankind, yet your hands are shaking almost uncontrollably as you think about the fact that you could lose Ghost any moment…

-

When Ghost wakes up he panics for a second. Where is he? Where is his mask? His hand shoots to the side of his leg where his handgun normally was but all his hand feels is a bandage.

He raises his head, groaning from the pain soaring through his body. What the bloody hell happened? He wants to sit up but when he tries to steady his body on his hands his left arm gives out immediately.

„Fuck,“ he curses, glancing at said shoulder. Another bandage. He must‘ve been hit on the last mission. He lets his eyes roam around, now sure of the fact that he was on base and in the med bay.

Then his eyes fall onto you. You sit on the ground, back popped up against the wall with your eyes closed. You’re sleeping…

You still wear your gloves, which are covered in blood. His blood probably.

He wants to leave.

You saved him. Again. His mind can‘t comprehend that. He should be the one looking after you, not you after him.

He tries to sit up once again but his body fails him. He would need to wait until, either, you woke up, or someone would walk in to check on him. He hoped for the latter.

He‘s been ignoring you for weeks—for his own good—and he didn‘t want to be confronted with you right now, not when he was weak and wounded…

He looks for his phone but it‘s not on the bedside table, so he figures Soap must have it. That fucker . He probably searched for you, even though he knew this was your night off.

Ghost didn‘t remember muttering your name over and over again, trying to fight the other medics who wanted to treat him. He only wanted you, only needed you. But, he didn‘t remember…

A quiet groan rips him out of his thoughts and his eyes snap into your direction. You were slowly waking up.

Briefly his eyes widen, then he decides to close them. Would be easier for him to just act like he‘s still asleep, instead of being confronted by you.

So, he closes his eyes and evens his breath. A couple meters to his left you stretch your limbs, slowly cursing yourself for falling asleep. Then your eyes fell to your hands and you curse again when you noticed that you were still wearing those blood drenched gloves.

You gaze then automatically drifts towards the bed and you see that Ghost is still sleeping. You let out a relieved breath. You wouldn’t have wanted him to see you like that…

You let out a quiet pained moan when you stand up and immediately discard the gloves. You shudder as your body realizes how cold the floor has been.

Before you leave the room you quietly walk to Ghost‘s bed and let your hand hover over his cheek. „I‘m sorry,“ you whisper. „I don‘t know what I did to…anger you but I‘m sorry…“

A single tear escapes your eye and before you can catch it it gently falls onto his bare hand. Your eyes widen and you quickly take a couple of steps back.

You make sure he doesn't wake up and then you leave, softly closing the door behind you.

-

Ghost goes back to ignoring you after he left the med bay and he hates himself for it. He doesn‘t want to ignore you but he can‘t allow himself to be weak. He needs to be strong, he can‘t afford to be vulnerable.

Everyone can see how much it hurts—not only—you but also Ghost. He talks even less, his jokes are more than forced and he doesn‘t even bicker with Soap anymore.

It’s even more obvious with you. You spend most of the time in your quarters, barely leaving them if you weren‘t working or on your way home. Price and Soap are worried about you, as well as Gaz but you’re blocking out any of their efforts to talk to you. You only wanted Ghost…

You knew you both never…were anything serious—not even close—but he still was one of your best friends and you were missing him. You still didn‘t fully understand why he was so cold to you and it was slowly breaking you.

You lay in your bed, face down, thinking about what you possibly could‘ve done wrong to piss Ghost off that much. You couldn‘t live with not knowing what you did.

You get dragged out of your thoughts when you hear a curt nod. You groan and stand up. It probably was Soap, ready to annoy you again. You shuffle over to the door, rolling your eyes already.

„Fuck off Soap,“ you say while opening the door. Only problem, it wasn‘t Soap who knocked on your door.

You freeze when you’re met with Simon’s face. Not Ghost, no. He doesn’t wear his mask and also he was in sweatpants and a hoodie. This was Simon Riley standing in front of you and you were more than confused. What the hell was going on?

He stared down at you, clearly uncomfortable but he told himself that he finally needs to make things right with you. He didn‘t want to see you so hurt, knowing that it was his fault.

„Can I…come in?“ he asks, slightly tilting his head and for a minute you’re too perplexed to actually answer. Then you only nod and step aside to let him in. You wanted to know why he decided to show up at your door at a not really civil time…

You turn around to look at him and before you can get even one word out he starts to talk. „I’m sorry,“ he says, the words rolling off of his tongue like he‘s been practicing this for the last three hours. He had.

You want to say something but he raises his hand, not letting you have your say. „Please…“ he looks at you, a never before seen softness in his eyes. „Let me explain to you.“

You hesitatingly shake your head, heading over to your bed to sit down. He himself takes the chair, which is positioned in front of your desk, and places him a meter or two in front of your bed.

A chill runs down your spine as he looks at you, his eyes sharp but yet so soft and gentle. Something was going on with him but you couldn‘t name what exactly.

„I’ve been an ass,“ he starts and you can’t help but snort at that. Yes, he’s been an ass. A massive one. As you look at him you see one corner of his mouth slightly twitching. Was that a smirk?

„I want to apologize to you,“ and then he says your real name and you’re a goner. He never called you by your name, always your call sign… But you did the same with him, no? Always calling him Ghost and never Simon…

You want to say something, want to ask him why , but he keeps talking. You’ve never heard him talk so much in your whole life…

“I’ve been unfair to you and…and I’ve realized that now.” He averts his gaze and you notice him fidgeting with his fingers. Oh, he was nervous-nervous.

And when he doesn’t speak up again you take it as your change. “Why?”, you ask him, slightly raising your chin. You still didn’t understand and maybe you also didn’t want to. In all the years you’ve worked together he never acted like he’s been acting these past weeks, almost months .

“Becase I have a fucked up ego,” he looks at you again and you want to laugh because it’s such a stupid answer but when your eyes meet his you know that he’s being serious.

“Care to, uh, elaborate?” you raise an eyebrow, again not understanding him.

He leans back in the chair, stretching his legs a little bit before sitting normally on the chair again. “I’m the one supposed to protect you. Not you me,” he then says in a calm voice and you’re this close to rolling your eyes.

You want to ask him if it’s because you’re weak or whatever but he doesn’t let you talk.

“You killed for me,” he calls you by your name again. “I shouldn’t have let it come so far…” He starts to fidget with his hands again. “Killing…is my job. Not yours. You’re way too pure for that.”

“Simon-“ you call him by his real name without even noticing but he interrupts you.

“I’m being serious!” his leg starts to bounce up and down. “My hands were destined to kill. Yours…yours were destined for the opposite.” He avoids looking at you and you decide to stand up.

You walk over to him and stand directly in front of him, almost between his legs. “Look at me,” you say. He doesn’t. “Simon,” you say again, your voice stern this time. “I said, look at me. ” This time, he does.

He looks up at you and for a split second it looks like he swallowed; as if he was scared ?

“I killed that man because it was my only choice. If I hadn’t you and I wouldn’t be here today, so please- please stop acting like it was something I did because I wanted to. I didn’t. I needed to,” you try to explain but you can see in his eyes that it doesn‘t convince him.

„You shouldn’t have to, though,“ he almost whispers. „I should‘ve been more careful so you don’t need to come into the field. You could‘ve gotten hurt.“ His voice almost breaks at the end of the sentence and a shiver runs down your spine. Was he really that scared of…losing you?

Your hand is itching, wanting to reach it for his face but you manage to keep it to yourself. „Simon…“ you then sigh. „I know what I signed up for when I took the job. I‘m able to look out for myself. “

You wait for his answer but indead his hand reaches out for yours and he gently takes it. He caresses every knuckle with his thumb, the feeling of his calloused fingers against your skin sending another shiver down your spine.

And then, he pulls you into his lap with one swift motion. You shriek as he wraps his other arm around your waist. This feels…weird . But in a good way!

„I know you can take care of yourself,“ he murmurs into your hair as he starts to hug you. „I know it damn well but still, I want to be the one to take care of you.“

Your voice is stuck in your throat at that. He wants to what? Your head starts to get clouded. Could your feelings not be…one sided? Was that possible?

„You make me weak,“ he says, his voice suddenly all husky. His hands are still caressing your hand and waist and you feel like you’re drunk from his touch alone. „You distract me. You make me go crazy… Whenever I see that you’re in danger or that someone else who isn‘t… me talks to you I almost lose it,“ he confesses and you’re not sure if you’re hearing correctly.

„What are you trying to tell me Simon,“ you force yourself to talk, your head dizzy and your thoughts blurry. Was he really about to confess to you?

„I like you. More than I probably should but… I just can‘t ignore it anymore .“ He pulls away from you to really look at you but you just stare. Did he really just say that? Did your silent dreams and pleas come true? What the fuck?

„I know I‘ve hurt you and I‘m sorry. I didn‘t want to accept it and…I‘ve been scared that you maybe won‘t feel the same.“ He cups your face with one hand and gently brushes his thumb over your cheek.

„I don’t know what to say,“ you reply in a quiet, almost insecure voice while leaning into his touch. You wanted this. You really did but he hurt you and you couldn‘t just ignore that…

„You don’t need to say something,“ he hums. „Just let me show you that I‘m sorry and that I‘m for real. Let me make it up to you.“ He looks at you and waits for your answer. He wasn‘t sure if he‘d be able to accept a no but he would need to. He didn‘t want to hurt you—like he did those past weeks—ever again.

After a couple moments of silence and a few rushed thoughts you hesitatingly nod and a smile spreads on his face. „You won‘t regret it sweetheart,“ he promises, gently pulling your face down to plant a loving kiss on your forehead.

„You won‘t regret it.“

[cottonlemonade]

Mr Steal Your Girl

word count: 1311 || avg. reading time: 6 mins.

pairing: post-time skip!Kenma x chubby!Reader

genre: fluff, University

warnings: spoilers

synopsis: Kenma tries to ask you out but has awful timing

It was already hard enough to dress for a normal date but finding an outfit for a blind date you didn’t want to go to to begin with was impossible.

Your best friend was annoyed that she couldn’t take you and your chronically single self on any double dates and so decided to take matters into her own hands. At least once every few months she would close her eyes and pick a random guy walking around the campus cafeteria and ask if he was interested in a “cool, funny, smart girl that was just too shy to ask herself” and most of the time that was enough. The date was set, your friend dragged you along and you had a miserable two hours before being allowed to return to your natural habitat - your dorm room.

In her defense, most guys she selected were actually very nice. And except for the last one who had forgotten his wallet, then ate his weight in burgers, let you pay, and had since vanished without a trace or payback, they all knew how to behave. They kept the conversations going, complimented you, and usually asked for a second date, but you liked being alone and besides, dating was stressful. Who needed the whole hassle of getting dressed up and leaving the house? You wanted someone who liked to spend their time indoors, watch movies, play games, build a Lego set or two, snuggle, and snack.

Kenma was convinced that you were perfect for him. Witty, had excellent taste in games and music, and a figure that put every body pillow he ever received as a promo gift to shame. He spent the better part of any lecture twirling his pen in his long fingers and staring at the back of your head, then quickly snapping his eyes the other way, pretending to look intently at the monitor upfront if you happened to turn around during a stretch. He remembered overhearing one of his former classmates once saying that asking someone out was easy, but now that Kenma absently drew a heart with your initials on the side of his notes, he found he didn’t share that sentiment. Partly because he didn’t like to go out in the first place, so how would he convincingly invite someone to something he didn’t even want to go to either?

None of his friends knew about his crush on you and he wasn’t going to admit it to them. Not because he would be embarrassed if they knew, but because he didn’t want to be grouped together with your small and not-so-secret on-campus fan club - a bunch of desperate boys who all wanted a piece of the chubby queen of homebodies. So he denied any allegations that quickening his sluggish steps on the way to the lecture hall to sit in your vicinity, his sleep-deprived heart eyes and doodle-adorned notepads meant anything. Pondering, he tapped the tip of his pen onto the paper, trying to figure out a way to invite you to play games with him, romantically. He wasn‘t going to stoop as low as to ask Kuroo for help and instead took to the wild seas of the internet for advice.

As he scrolled through the many many forums, sifting through mostly bad ideas, he overheard one of your friends say, “It‘s just dinner and a movie. Give him a chance. He is the captain of the swim team after all.“

Kenma‘s heart sank - and then bounced back up immediately when you groaned.

“Look, it‘s sweet and … a little concerning how much you care about my love life, but I‘m not interested in him. Or anyone really. I just prefer to be alone.“

100% understanding and agreeing with you, Kenma chewed the inside of his cheek, thinking if it would come across as weird and creepy if he were to ask you to be alone together.

“But I worry about you.“, the friend pouted.

You laughed and gently put a hand on her shoulder, “Not everyone meets the love of their life at university.“

In truth, you just didn‘t want your friend to know about your ridiculous crush on Kodzuken. Your heart had almost jumped out of your chest when you first spotted the tell-tale half-dyed ponytail in your class and heard the all too familiar voice during a presentation project. It was silly, really, and you did well pushing your infatuation to the very back of your mind.

After all, whenever you tried to catch a glimpse of him he would look away immediately, making it all too clear that wasn‘t interested in a conversation.

It was no use either way. Your friend wouldn‘t stop pushing until you were social for an evening so you chose your usual - well fitted jeans and a thin, long sleeved sweater to keep the cold and any potential bodily contact to a minimum. Your friend waved when she recognized you getting off the bus. She was already waiting in the arms of her boyfriend with a tower of a guy right next to them, who, when seeing who his set-up was going to be, looked a little disappointed. Oh great.

Kenma felt more pathetic by the second. All day he had tried to work up the courage to catch you in a calm minute to ask you out before your date. If it went well with that guy, chances were he wouldn’t ever let you go (if he knew what was best for him), so this was basically his last opportunity ever. When he didn’t manage to ask during class, then neither during lunch, nor in the library he never went to before, and neither at the bus stop, he thought he might as well face the fact that it wasn’t meant to be. But he found himself a few hours later behind you in the queue at the movie theater, he heard you were planning to go to. He would have to ask now before he’d have to buy a ticket. As he politely waited for a lull in the conversation between you and the Iron Man your friend set you up with, Kenma tried to busy himself with a game on his phone to calm his nerves. But he became so engrossed in a level that he missed his chance and could only watch you walk away with your friends. He should just give up. This was ludicrous.

“One ticket to whatever movie they just went to.”, he said before he could stop himself.

Just turn around. Turn around and leave. Come on.

But his feet had other plans. With the overpriced movie stub in hand, he shuffled to the auditorium and searched in the crowd for you. Unfortunately, the first marker he found was the tall guy next to you, talking to your friend and boyfriend, leaving you to sit quietly and awkwardly to the side.

He walked up the steps and your eyes met. Your cheeks blushed, as did his, and with the confidence of a deflated balloon, he came to a halt next to you, hands in his pockets.

“Hey y/n, I’m Kenma. I’m in your business class.”

“I know.”, you said and he was already relieved. First hurdle down. Now, carefully…

“Do you wanna go to a gaming café together?”

“Wha- right now?”

“I mean, yeah, if you don’t have anything else going on.”, he looked past you to the guy who just stared at him in disbelief and added in appeasement of your date, “Nothing personal.”

You exchanged a look with your friend who was just as shocked as the others and she shrugged. You turned back to Kenma.

“Sure thing.”

He held out his hand, then felt silly doing so and was about to lower it when you grabbed it.

“Lead the way.”, you said brightly and he did.

[siddyyyyyyyy]

You're Only Sixteen

wc: 2.2K

summary: last part of child soldier joins taskforce 141; six, five, four, three, two, one

warnings: mentions of death, brief mention of alcohol

a/n: I'm so excited but also so sad to end this small series !! I'm so thankful for all the support and kind people who read this through, I hoped this was just as much fun for you as for me. Enjoy!

After getting some rest and sleep, it‘s time to actually get some food into you. The team has left you alone even when they tried to check up on you, but you refused to go out of your bunk after the mission. Kyle gifted you a new sketchbook as promised, having given you some space afterwards. Your bitten ankle doesn‘t hurt anymore, only gets sore after standing on it for too long or after walking quite a bit, but otherwise it only hurts when applying pressure.

You really tried to get as much sleep as you could get since they gave you strict bed rest, but every time you close your eyes, you are back at the camp. Back with the other soldiers. Children, really. How your superiors didn‘t care about your teammates deaths. It was like another simple loss, as if it wasn‘t a big deal at all. Another life lost because of a small decision that wasn‘t supposed to have such a gruelling outcome.

Still, it happened, and there‘s nothing you can do about it but feel guilty. The nightmares won‘t let you rest and have become worse over the night. Besides that, you finally got the energy to actually come out of your bunk and walk to the mess hall. It‘s about lunch, and it proves by the loud chatters from other soldiers around you. Getting a tray and plate for yourself, you get something as simple as every other day and search for your team. They sit on their usual spot, not having spotted you so far.

There‘s already a pack of Capri Sun on the table beside Soap, the seat next to him empty. You sit next to him and give them a curt nod as a silent greeting. Immediately, Kyle smiles softly and seems relieved that you finally got out of your bunk and seem to walk without a limp.

Everything seems to go back to normal, having thought a lot about Riley as well, and there is no way you will let yourself stop seeing and petting her after getting bitten by a larger dog. Actually, you‘ve decided to visit Ghost‘s office today, just to see the K9.

Your lieutenant opens the door and lets you walk in after knocking, opening the door carefully to see if Riley will jump up or not. But no, she is close by his side, trying to tuck her nose into the large bag of dry dog food he is currently holding at the moment.

»Bane. Your foot better?«

He asks as he is currently refilling her bowl, Riley still trying to get her nose into the food. It sadly doesn‘t work, settling on watching her food being refilled.

»Yeah, it doesn‘t hurt anymore. Is Riley alright?«

Ghost nods in response, glancing back at the dog as he stands again. He is a bit confused on why you asked, considering she didn‘t get injured during the mission. Probably just trying to make small talk?

»As fine as always. Wanna give her treats? Don‘t worry, she won‘t bite.«

You tense at his joke, keeping the dog in your sight as you stay by the door. Just like the very first time you met her. Besides, the K9 is munching peacefully on her food, not giving you much attention for now. Ghost notices your body language, wanting to punch himself for making such a stupid joke.

Sighing out, you snap out of the slight panic building up in your body, looking back to him.

»Can I give her some treats later?«

Suddenly, he doesn‘t feel as bad anymore, nodding his head and already taking out the smaller bag of treats silently, so the dog won‘t notice it and eat her food first.

Once Riley has had her food, she notices you properly and tilts her head curiously, the sight of her ears flopping to one side makes you relax further. It‘s just Riley. The sweet K9 who just wants to play. Ghost stands by your side and hands you some treats, watching you carefully to see if you‘ll freak out or not. You kneel down to Riley‘s level and hold your hand out with some treats in it, watching her approach happily and immediately start munching off your palm. The feeling is a bit tinglish, feeling her tongue lick at your palm and wet nose brush against your wrist lightly as she eats, but she seems peaceful. The K9 acts too fast to have time to panic, looking at you already after some seconds. The treat in your hand is gone, Riley wants more.

This makes you look back up to Ghost, both asking silently for another treat. He can‘t help but find this amusing, handing you a few more treats before getting back to his desk and hiding the treats from the dog for now.

While you feed her more, it gets easier to feel more comfortable, and you pet her again, her tongue sticking out as she sits beside you and lets you pet and scratch around her back. The room settles into a comfortable silence as Ghost works at his desk and you sit together on the floor with Riley. Time goes by, and another knock sounds from the door, shortly after Soap comes in. He pauses once he sees you on the floor beside Riley, not having expected to see you near a dog so soon. He points at you, about to start talking, before Ghost interrupts him.

»Why are you here, Johnny?«

Soap presses his lips together before he looks back at Ghost, getting straight to the point.

»Team‘s going out to a pub, celebrating mission, and all…« his eyes land on you, he gestures once more, »you won‘t get any alcohol.«

You can‘t help but roll your eyes at that, having assumed as much and didn‘t even try to ask for any. Ghost glances briefly at you again before giving Soap a small nod.

»When?«

»Tonight.«

Soap chirps back, making the other man grumble something under his breath. Of course they would tell him that late. You continue to pet Riley beside you, her tail wagging lightly from side to side as she watches the interaction. And, naturally, Soap can‘t help but walk over and give Riley his own few pets on her head, and coo at her like a silly idiot.

»Tonight at eight, by the way. Have a good day, you two.«

Waiting at the entrance, there‘s Price already waiting beside Soap, seeing them for the first time in civilian clothes. And seeing the captain wear a beanie hat was something you hadn‘t expected to see, but it suits him. You stand beside them shortly after having the other two arrive.

You really wanted to ask how they would let a sixteen-year-old into a pub, but it seems like they aren‘t concerned about it at all.

Walking beside Ghost, you could only do so much, considering you are both not very talkative in any way and you already spent some time with him under the company of Riley. The weather is rather grey as usual, having a chilly wind with it. But the orange-red sign at the pub and other neonsigns around it seems to warm the atmosphere up. You stay beside Ghost as you walk into the smaller pub, being hit with the smell of different liquors and alcohol in general. It makes you scrunch up your nose lightly, keeping your expression as neutral as possible. The team sits down at a table in a corner, having a view to the exit and overall bar.

You take a seat beside Ghost, the table being round and seats comfy. For a pub, it seems pretty relaxing and calm, if not cosy, so far. The man orders themselves a few drinks, Price going to the bartender to actually order them before sitting back at the table. It feels useless to sit here with them, but you also actually enjoy their company. If it wasn‘t the light smell of alcohol lingering in the air, you would‘ve probably enjoyed it more. So far, the four men are chatting and poking mostly fun at each other, staying in your seat for now and just admiring the tall, different-coloured bottles sitting at the shelves behind the bartender. Watching him handle the glasses and customers at the same time is admiring.

You can‘t help but notice the table is a little too big for just five people, making you wonder if there should be more to come. Your speculations are soon thrown away once you see three familiar people walk in, one of them looking especially happy to be here.

Farah, Alex, and the friendly pilot walk to your table, greeting you all. Farah takes a seat at your left, greeting you as well. Nikolai goes to the bartender to order the rest of the drinks, sitting at the table again with a small groan. The conversations start to fill the table again, not feeling as bored anymore now that Farah is there, having some sense of excitement in you.

Before you could think more to yourself, you are pulled out of your thoughts, Farah nudging you lightly.

»How‘s your ankle? Any better?«

You nod shortly in response, glancing down to your ankle under the table briefly.

»It doesn‘t hurt anymore. Healing nicely, without infections.« Farah seems relieved by that answer, taking a small sip of her bottle of beer.

»We put the dogs into a clinic, gave them a safe shelter. I‘m sure they‘ll find friendly homes once they get better.«

This information makes you relieved, knowing very well these dogs only acted the way they were trained to. They didn‘t know why they attacked people.

Farah gets thoughtful suddenly, steering the conversation to something different as her eyes land on your team.

»How did you manage to get a kid in?«

Price shrugs lightly in response, seemingly unbothered and having no worries about that.

»That‘s how you find out that the UK‘s pubs don‘t give a fuck about that.«

He takes a sip from his drink, making Farah huff out. She‘s surprised they didn‘t offer you alcohol so far. Not that Soap forbid you alcohol even before you went into the pub.

But that makes you notice something again, wanting to ask and find out, before Price interrupts and questions you directly.

»Now, we didn‘t come here to just celebrate the mission. I, especially the team, have an important question for you.«

He leans his forearms onto the table, having the luck that he practically sits right in front of you at the round table.

»Actually, you have a choice this time. Stay here with our team, fight with us, or drop it all and build yourself a better life.« His voice gets a bit rougher towards the end, leaning back again and cocking his head to the side. »Your choice, kid.«

It grows quiet, eyes on you, and awaiting your finally choice. It‘s tough, but you are sure that dropping this, will just lead you to being even more unstable, having nothing else to do. This is the only thing you know how to do correctly, you trust these people with all your life. Getting a proper life now would make you scared, terrified even. You have no idea what to do with yourself, and school isn‘t an option as well. Before you could overthink anything even more, you answered him surely.

»I‘m staying.«

The slight tension drops, getting some smiles from the rest and an approving nod from Price. There‘s a small ‚I knew it!‘ from Soap, seemingly happy you are staying with the team. Of course, you are also afraid of never seeing these people again by choosing to get a normal life. Lacking the knowledge of their status, dead or alive. You‘d rather not think about it, instead staying relaxed in your seat.

The triumph doesn‘t last long, finally getting to ask your question as you look at Farah beside you.

»Why did you fly all the way here? Not just for this, right?«

Farah takes you in before shooting Price a short glance. »That old man didn‘t tell you?«

After a small shake of your head, she presses her lips together and sighs out through her nose.

»I guess it‘s time for him to finally clear the air. Why are we really here, Price?«

The table falls silent again, the atmosphere getting thicker again. Filled with a sense of aniticipation, but not like before.

Finally, he sets his drink down, subtly taking out a small paper from his jacket. He sets on a more serious expression than before, seeming more dark and gravy. He lets the smaller piece of paper slide towards Gaz first beside him, the sergeant taking a look at it before sliding to the next, Soap. He takes a look, sliding it to Ghost, before it finally lands to you, taking a look at the picture. Seemingly a mugshot from an older man, dark-haired with sharp features. The man does seem just a little familiar to you, letting it slide face down to Farah. It‘s too bad you can‘t recognise the man yet, trying not to make any assumptions as well. The picture makes a full round before it lands back at Price, feeling how the atmosphere shifted dangerously quick. Even Nik looks ready to kill.

Price speaks up again, shadows falling into his face that make him look about as scary as a storm.

»Makarov.«

BONUS

[anantaru]

𝐃𝐎𝐍‘𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐄𝐋

after you were trying your hardest, over and over again, to make your relationship work yet still failing in the end, you ultimately decided it‘d be better to end it with scaramouche.

୨୧ WORD COUNT: 1.7k

୨୧ WARNINGS: angst, gn! reader, mention of past intimacy between each other, break up, slight yan ?? a sprinkle, scara‘s overwhelmed and doesn‘t know how to be normal.

love.

love is kind, patient. As calm as a rural sea on a silent night.

love takes delight in the truth, in mutual understanding and trust. It never takes offense, it is not resentful.

additionally, love is able to forgive, to hope and to endure so why, why did your love fly away, with no strings and a pair of attached, imaginary wings on their back?

how often did you try to see the once shining radiant light in midst the insufferable darkness you called your relationship with scaramouche.

being guided by nothing but sorrow, you remembered that it wasn‘t always like that, was it?

as a strong believer in the saying of ”whatever you held onto about yourself will eventually come true“, you had manipulated yourself into thinking just that, which had later on caused a swell of deep hope to cover the majority of your burning heart.

you manifested for your relationship to take a sharp turn after barely overstepping each hard coming without escaping unscattered.

committing to a relationship was first and foremost, to accept each trait your significant other had, it truly didn't matter if it was good or bad as long as you were well equipped enough to be there for them.

but when does that not apply anymore?

exactly when it seemed as if you were forgetting about your own well being.

you see, you can twist and turn the narrative but in the end it was obvious that scaramouche had to work through more than 'just' a few hardships.

maybe it would be better for his own health to be alone for a while, to find his true nature and gather a newfound feeling of love towards himself before being able to hold love towards another person.

with an aching, deep throb in your heart, you opened the door to the bedroom you once shared as you spotted your boyfriend, well, soon to be ex boyfriend right away, sitting on the edge of the bed, his sight lowered towards the cold floor.

"you‘re here."

with the burn of pain those words caused alone, the idea of holding yourself back was in vein, scaramouche had you already figured out from the start so hiding the blatant truth would only feed into each negative aspect of the conversation that was developing right now.

"you told me to come, why shouldn't i be here?"

it was strange, truly, the immediate change in his usual tone was apparent, scaramouche sounded distant, as if he already knew what was coming next.

breaking away from your frozen stance, you proceeded to close the bedroom door, each small step well thought out until you were as close as necessary, proceeding.

"can you look at me?"

no matter how much you wanted to get this heartfelt decision over with, you still desired to end it properly, without leaving unanswered questions hidden which would sooner or later poke your mind, more so eat you from the inside out until nothing was left to be devoured.

for a short amount of time, he did not speak, his arms were resting on his thighs as he kept his eyes pierced towards the cold wooden floor, never daring to break away.

you gave him the time, as much as he sought after. At the back of your mind ominous darkened thoughts found refuge in, a cold spider like sensation was swarming up and down the entirety of your spine, deepening the restraint in your voice.

you watched in silence, thousands of questions prowling through your cloudy mind as he, in a trice, decided to speak up, "how ungraciously backward you can be, to force me through this."

the inner voice inside you churned through your body, desperately warning you, a dazed look of bewilderment crossing the irritated state your face was trapped in.

"what do you mean by that?"

with an attempt to keep your trembling lip under control, you gathered the soft flesh in between your teeth, only a tiny bit until the self restraint of your body returned to you.

"i mean it exactly how i said it." on a heavy sigh, he continued with a demeaning voice, the epitome of gradient turmoil blistering your heart, you absolutely despised it whenever he got to talk to you in that precise manner.

"you know my past and yet you still persist." at his final word, he at last, lifted his head to meet your glowing eyes, glowing for the wrong reasons that is as they were welling up with warm tears.

"what do you expect me to do kuni?"

scaramouche flinched at the name you decided to use, after all, it was long forgotten yet whenever you said it, whenever you referred to him with it, it sounded all the more familiar and intimate.

"nothing.. nothing."

swarmed with the view of him, your throat seized. Indigo eyes, crystallized mind, his attention on you was heavy as you decided to move forward, cautiously taking a seat next to him.

the mattress shifted of your added weight, there was no point in arguing but for some unexplained, fucked up reason, it always proceeded to end up like this.

"i never intended to hurt you, but i'm at my limit." the tears in you made your eyes glimmer, the previous confidence that was utterly dominant upon approaching the bedroom before, was long gone with your head hung low, but you still desired to finish what you had started.

"it's always the same, it will always end the same."

much to your surprise, scaramouche for once decided to listen to you. You were wary of the sudden change in mannerism but didn't complain, it gave off a pleasant way to articulate what you wanted to say to him.

"and we need to break up in order to get better."

another hesitation in your voice, he immediately noticed, his throat loosening with an approaching laugh, "oh, so that's how it is."

with a tumble forward, he got off the bed to stand tall, his shoulders tugged back in a confident stance, turning around yet again.

"you just want to cast me aside too, don't you?"

this wasn't fair, how could this possibly be fair in any other occasion?

all the preparation to this conversation, thrown aside, the burning, heartbreaking feeling was tearing you apart, as if trapped in a maze, one you couldn't escape, one that got smaller within each minute, one that would squeeze you to death by the very end.

"you don't see my point, can you at least try to understand?" the past was continuously invading the present, it was devastating.

"can i try, what?" he draws one touch on you, only one, forcefully grabbing your chin in between his fingers to make you look at him, but still keeping the contact with your skin light, as to not hurt you.

your throat grew tighter as a natural response to the once cold air becoming thicker as you spoke, each sentence alluring the feature.

silent anger, like true liquid fire but it didn't spill, he kept it to himself while only showing short nuances of the burning ache eating away his blazing core.

mindlessly sitting on the edge of terror, you bristled on the faint independence you had left in yourself.

"i will always love you, but don't you realize that right now, you're literally showing me why it won't work."

scaramouche could no longer see anything but the threat of losing you, he couldn't hear you, not anymore, his mind was at risk to collapse and break, the hand on your chin beginning to tremble.

is it possible to scream without screaming? to cry without crying or to die without dying? because to scaramouche it felt as if those things were happening to him, right this second in front of you.

"what about all those times we made love to each other, hm? does this mean nothing to you anymore?"

a tear, barely to be perceived, danced around the corner of his eye as it spilled, alone and lost, plastering the cold floor.

"or when you told me that you'll never leave like the rest of them?"

scaramouche remembered those distinct feelings within his chest now, how hysterical laughable, he thought he had long since disposed of them entirely.

yet the one you managed to awake in him was still there, like a micro organism feeding on its damaged host, eating away the spirit until death was inevitable.

the first time he had perceived those world-shattering emotions, he was cast aside by his creator, his mother.

the words you intended to say were murdered in your throat, rejected, "i don't know what to say."

each decision had a consequence laced around it, some more gruesome than the other.

"you don't have to say anything." his innermost self, his being, gathered the last courage to lock his eyes with yours before lastly letting go of your chin, straightening his posture.

you felt the chill in your blood, ice water in your veins, the silence in your ears, the death of your failing relationship. Part of the pain, you could endure.

but could he?

"i should go." with clear, pure agony in your soul, you ultimately rose up from your seat to pass him and reach the door to the exit.

he stood still, not moving an inch of his tensed muscles, letting his thoughts walk out around him, in search of something he knew he couldn't get, at least not now.

"if you think that's the end."

scaramouche didn't intend to finish his sentence to you, nor reveal it, more so did it involuntarily divulge out of him.

what he meant by that was unclear to the both of you, it lingered both unpredictability and uncertainty in the air.

something was not right but you could not decipher the darkened suspicion with your alarm bells pointing right towards them.

it was the end, like a book you closed after reading through it, even if you dared to pick it up again, nothing would change in it.

your relationship was nothing but a broken mirror within a casted ray of sunlight, damaged and split as you left at last, scrambling the final steps out of the apartment you once shared.

to turn around, to watch you go, with the world around him animating death.

passed by limitless silence, he closed his eyes, endlessly consuming the darkness that were his thoughts.

and so, it wasn‘t a tear that slowed out of him, but a hysterical laugh, side splitting and crazy, as he commented for the very last time.

"how foolish you can be, dear."

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