#like more bsd stuff in general

[tittysuckersworld]

why are you, as a man, bringing up a man thats not related to the conversation that youve only seen twice since he dissappeared for 4 years. why are you bringing him up? to angrily ramble about him? when hes not even in the conversation? when hes barely related to the topic? is it cause hes on your mind? huh?

[zukkaoru]

could you tell me more about why you dislike femskk?

okay disclaimer before i begin: this is not meant to be a dig on every person who enjoys femskk. the biggest reason i don't like it is honestly because it's just not my cup of tea and honestly it really makes no difference to me if other people like it. but beyond that my biggest issues with it are

1. the phenomenon of fans "yuri-ifying" the most popular m/m ship and then using that to prove they like female characters and f/f ships. this is not a bsd-exclusive thing; it happens with stsg too and i don't like femstsg for the same reason. but there's a big difference between actually liking female characters and just genderbending (or even making transfem) the big m/m ship. i literally went to the f/f category in bsd on ao3 the other day looking for fics and about half of them are skk fics instead of fics about like. the actual female characters in bsd. who i was looking for fics of. similarly, there have been some redraw trends going around twitter - specifically the i prefer girls cover redraw - and i have seen. i don't even know how many femskk redraws of that (along with a couple femfyolais and a femrimlaine) but only one redraw with actual female characters from bsd. same with the scene 14 redraw that was going around, and while that one wasn't originally two female characters, i have still seen significantly more femskk (and femsigzai, femsigchuu, femfyolai, etc) than i have ships with even one character who is female in the source material.

and imo this phenomenon is made even worse in the bsd fandom bc so many fans just see bsd as the skk show. so of course they're writing off the actual female characters; they literally don't care about anything besides skk. and obviously i can't do anything to force anyone to care about other characters but like.... bsd has so many other wonderful characters and dynamics (both romantic and platonic) that a good half of the fanbase won't even glance at because they're not skk. i do like skk, but bsd is about so much more than just them. they are, objectively, only one small part of it. like if you only care about skk, then just be outright about it and don't pretend you're "proving" you like female characters and sapphic ships bc you like femskk too

2. of the fans who only like skk and nothing else about bsd, most of them. don't even characterize dazai and chuuya correctly? i think the some of the best skk characterizations i've seen have been from people who actually like other characters and ships too, and some of the worst skk characterization i've seen has come from people who literally don't care about any other ships or characters. this isn't a hard and fast rule obviously but even with 30k skk fics on ao3, i have struggled to find ones that actually feel true to their characters. and the characterization seems to only get worse when it's femskk. if you're just going to turn femdazai and femchuuya into two completely different people, what's the point in it even being skk? why not write k.ousano or h.igugin or even a ship with one canonically female character? if you have to change the core characteristics of both dazai and chuuya... do you even really like them?

3. about femdazai: i actually don't mind the transfem dazai headcanon in general but most fans get her wrong. i made a post about it here but basically so many times i see femdazais that are just. completely unrecognizable as dazai. you can't strip away core aspects of dazai like idk the fact that dazai doesn't show any skin from neck to toe just because you made her a girl. i have seen some femdazai that's good! but i have seen so much that is just fundamentally wrong for dazai's character as a whole. mostly on twitter.

4. about femchuuya: i really truly just don't get femchuuya. i THINK the hype here is probably bc lesbians seem to get attached to chuuya (which. valid. i am also a lesbian chuuya fan.) and so they want to draw a chuuya they can be attracted to (i.e. femchuuya) which like. cool whatever i'm not here to judge. but looking at it from a "would this character actually identify as female" perspective, i don't actually think i can picture that for chuuya. maybe it's just because i so strongly hc them as nonbinary? idk. this one is honestly just a neutral "i don't see that but you do you"

tl;dr: from what i've seen, femskk is often mischaracterized, and genderbending the big m/m ships in a fandom is often a way fans "prove" they like the female characters and f/f ships while not actually caring about anything other than their main m/m ship

[frankenjoly]

It was just a lil comment for a drabble dialogue but then Mune said if there was another generation in the future and one from sskk had to train/guide them it'd be Atsushi following Dazai's footsteps in his own way and now I cannot stop thinking about it

Like Atsushi's not a 5d chess mastermind but he does have the bitchy side to go and tell them "you gotta do this thing 🥰 dw the plan's been structured already you just gotta follow it 🥰 and work together 🥰 you cannot say no the stakes are high af here 🥰" and I love it

Also Atsushi going like "Dazai-san were we so... like that...?" when he's getting his patience soooo tested by the kids picking fights and Dazai instantly answering "ah no Atsushi-kun you were worse 🤭"

AND it's even funnier with established sskk like

The ada kid: I can't stand them pls Nakajima-san how did this turned out for you?

Atsushi: oh we have our anniversary coming up next week 🥰🥺

The kid: EXCUSE ME???

[feralshadowdemon]

try not to mischaracterize female characters challenge (failed by many)

[6goist]

IN A WINTER WONDERLAND . ۫ ꣑ৎ . christmas activities w’ them

(˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶) warnings. fluff、fell-hard boys、gn!reader、established relationship、mild mention of burial [dazai]、minor ooc maybe .. [ jouno + atsushi]、vulnerability(?) ໒ ᩧ꒱ characters. akutagawa ryunosuke、dazai osamu、atsushi nakajima、ranpo edogawa、jouno saigiku、tetcho suehiro ♥ made with lots of love! / wc 3.1k

AKUTAGAWA RYUNOSUKE + MOVIE MARATHON

you knew akutagawa’s density of his general health and specifically his lungs is somewhat weak, he has a sensitive health so it’s bad for him to go outside when it was such cold weather and air. he still insists he has a strong health, he doesn’t want you to view him as weak or incapable.

putting that into thought you recommended a movie, though he actually enjoyed the thought. he urge you pick the movie and he can make the snacks, cue being he asks you what food or snacks you want and he gets or makes it.

you get a little conflicted about which movie you would choose, akutagawa notices this and suggests a random Christmas movie in which you hastily agree to choose and start playing it.

he doesn’t even know what the movie even is, he just overheard his coworkers talking about it T^T..

you both started watching the movie with your arms intertwined and a blanket on the both of you as you lean onto akutagawa’s shoulders, the snacks laid out on the coffee table in front.

you tilt your head up slightly to see akutagawa watching the movie with a blank expression, you know that stupidly cute doe-eye face he makes in bsd wan? he’s making that one.

you tried to fight the urge to ask him if he’s enjoying the movie or not, you let the question slip unfortunately and you’re replied by a strangely flustered akutagawa protesting he enjoys it, picking one popcorn and eats it

“are you…enjoying the movie ryu?�� “I AM.”

he was caught off guard when you giggled and squeezed his arm once more and leaned back on his shoulder, the movie catching your attention again. he bites back a sigh and rests his head on yours.

when the movie is over—and his snarky comments—the credits starts rolling out in the screen; signaling you to get up, akutagawa is strangely quick to gently pull your arm back with a silent wait. you look surprised, mouth and eyes go slightly agape, he is also himself but doesn’t show it physically.

the small gesture was unusual for akutagawa. you’d think he isn’t fond of physical touch, maybe from others, but you’re not them. the thought is probably the reason why he likes your cozy touch so much, giving him the relaxation he never quite had since forever.

the words i love you flew out of his lips before he can stop it, he hates how his voice almost cracked. there was slight vulnerability in his voice if it was silent enough. his eyes that were once firm soften only-so-slightly, he bite the back-inside of his cheek on habit. the way your smile and eyes softening gets him every time.

“I love you too, ryunosuke”

DAZAI OSAMU + PLAYING IN THE SNOW

you firstly wanted to spend more time with you boyfriend, it’s the winter time so what’s more better than messing around with him in the snow?

apparently it seemed like dazai enjoyed it at first, he even went out of his way to find a way to annoy kunikida. which is to put—stuff—snow in kunikida’s locker (probably threw one or two snowballs at him when he’s caught), gets behind you when kunikida chases him out of the agency because he’s literally covered in snow ( he did so many snow angels, even one on the road? ) and made little puddles.

dug in the snow and made a literal burial, makes it dramatic and tells you he has a surprise and shows you it with a cheeky smile on his face, also does that thing when you revealing something with your arms and waving your hands. while you’re there looking like you’re sulking at your boyfriend he’s rambling on how great his creation is…

“feast your eyes belladonna!—” then there’s white noise for you after that…

you two did a snowball fight and he may or may not literally climbed on the tree like a animal. he’s basically holding the thick tree branch for his life, he looks so stupid.. whines in a dramatic tone how you’re torturing him..?

after some time, unfortunately, he’s now being more dramatic about being cold and faking his chattering teeth, lot of “my belladonna hates me. she wants me to die in the cold.” emphasizing the hate and die in the sentence while his hands are on both sides of his upper-arm as like he’s trying to warm himself with a pout on his face and a slightly red nose and cheeks.

you couldn’t help but chuckle at him, how couldn’t you when he looks so cute? (you tried to press on both of his cheeks when your hand was somewhat covered by snow and then he swats your hand away like it was hot iron) he looks at you with fake offense and starts whining about how you’re mocking him.

catering his needs, you both went inside. it was almost immediately when he tries to shake off the snow and make a brrr sound accompanying it, earning a major side-eye from you

(un)fortunately you found yourself later sandwiched between a clingyzai and the soft mattress, the cuddling would’ve been a warm moment if his weight wasn’t crushing on you. squeezing you more if you try to get up, you feel as if you’re dying, literally.

your hand found his soft, but moist, hair and started to caress his head. he leans in your hand more and visibly gotten more relaxed (and loosely let his vice grip on you)

you found sleep somehow and you both rested, when you woke up he’s snoring in your ear and drooling on you? you also had to wake him up because he was literally suffocating you.

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA + BUILDING A SNOWMAN

atsushi had wanted to play in the snow since his childhood, he knew how childish it was, it’s because the orphanage didn’t allow for children to play out in the cold while it or after it snowed. the rule prevented the children to get sick but also leaving them yearning to do something simple like playing in the snow.

so, it was no surprise atsushi still wanted to do the activity, it’s even better when you’re with him. you both could see your own breaths, atsushi offers you his coat since he can use his ability to prevent him from freezing.

the two of you started rolling the snow and it slowly starts to pile on each other, it takes awhile but you swore it was longer than it felt.

atsushi (after awhile tried to do something to maybe impress you idfk ) tried to, like, form it with his tiger hands like it was sand?? T-T it was contrary to what he thought it would be like. it came out ok, but really bulky with lot of bumps and, okay it was not ok it was misshaped; it looked like a oval

kinda got embarrassed from that with you consoling him “it looks good babe, don’t worry!” and that got him feeling better but somehow more embarrassed? ( possibly from the pet name… )

the body was complete (and looked like a disaster) and it was just the head, atsushi was in charge with trying to find rocks and two sticks for the arm, face and buttons. you were making the head which looked like a gigantic snowball.

and then, wallah, the snowman is done! atsushi wanted to put his scarf and hat on it, being the good partner you were like “aren’t you gonna get cold?” and he was puzzled for a millisecond “yeah, you’re right..” you swore that was the most accidental dramatic sigh he let out

news-flash he still did and he got a cold the next day

RANPO EDOGAWA + BAKING COOKIES

ranpo was really just hungry and wanted an excuse to spend time with you, there’s many options to choose from when he needs both of these needs to be taken care of… then the very awesome idea crashed down at him, he was going to make christmas-y cookies with you!

ranpo really sometimes judges how things taste based the way they look, if a cookie is extraordinarily decorated he’ll assume it’ll taste as good as it looks, but simple goods as glazed donuts he enjoys so it doesn’t imply this for all sorts of baked goods, just perfectly in the middle…

he brought up the idea towards to you, and who knew, you of course would liked to! key word, liked.

most of the time you were the one baking it and he was… rambling about all of the cases he’s solved, poe’s recent mystery novel, the people that he called out as the perpetrator declining it idiotically and whatever comes to his mind.

while he was doing that, he ate most of the snacks he gotten yesterday and this morning, sometimes holds the chip bag in front of you as an indication for you to take one if you’d like, same with his half-eaten and wet lollipops…? which met him with a scrunch of your nose as an ew, he casually shrugs and puts it back in his mouth.

oh also eats the cookie batter when you’re away, when you caught him he declares it as taste testing as he takes another scoop of it with his finger and licks it ..

he eventually got bored of the routine and made (badly attempted) hot chocolate, it was a bit bitter than you expected but you’re glad it’s not overly sweet that your teeth would fall off… he putted those sweeteners in his cup

it was awhile when you two were chatting while the cookies were in the oven, the conversation was ranpo mostly doing he talking… per usual maybe? then gets the very bright idea to play in the snow… that may or may not be the best choice.

seconds later after your agreement he literally dashed to get his jacket, snow boots, mittens and hat (also yours dw). impatiently waits by the door tapping his feet while you’re putting on your jacket… “any day now” smh

he goes dashing out with your hand in his in the snow, literally trips and brings you down with him… makes so many snow angels with you it’s hardly countable, comes screaming to you later showing you his snowman, unfortunately … “looks like frosty the snowman’s child if it had a birth defect”

ranpo has the urge to check the cookie again, and again, and again until it was finally done. gets too distracted by the beep of the oven he forgot to put those oven gloves on and gets it anyways without it, but you literally slapped his hand away and handed them to him T_T.

defiantly eats the majority of them when your both done decorating, he also made one that he attempted to look like you and takes a fat bite out of it..?

theres many opportunities that ranpo could do this honestly, he just never found that much of the motivation or point if he got the store-bought ones, but he thinks the way you made it, even if the batter and all came from a recipe, he thinks yours is better than any pastries he tasted

JOUNO SAIGIKU + GINGERBREAD HOUSE

jouno’s eyes twitch in annoyance and grumbles when he got frosty on the wrong place again, he hates this. why would you choose out of any oh-so-festive activities out there in the world? he continues to let out a soft dramatic sigh every so often.

you wanted to spend some time with your boyfriend on christmas, he hates the snow (because it messes up his senses and his hair or something… and you make him do all the snow shoveling) so you recommend such a fun activity to do even though you had the possibility he would hate it, what a good partner you are!

the ugly sweater you basically asked ( forced ) to wear itches at his skin, he keeps shuffling on the wooden seat he’s sat at, uncomfortable. from the radius he’s at from the fireplace that’s no farther away than seven feet, he’s practically sweating from his sensitive senses. it’s taking his all to not ripe himself out of that hand-made sweater you made specifically for him…

you notice this, and he knows that. he pretends to imply he hate this, in result you feel a little guilty for making him do this, even if you ask him about it he’ll dismiss it anyways for whatever reasons…

“sai… you look sweaty an’ annoyed, wanna stop?” “no, it’s alright” “oh—okay!”

having such-a soft spot for someone like he has with you is something he never experienced, his tone changes when taking to you compared to his companions, his smile ever so widening and being softer if you look close enough when he hears your familiar heartbeat and smell.

even if it takes all of the strength in his body to protest what you ask of him, he couldn’t bring himself to.

unfortunately, he got frosting over his sweater… shit, guilt and annoyance tugging at his soul, he furrows his eyebrow, he ignores the feelings and tries to wipe it off with a nearby napkin. grimaces slightly when he hears your snort, looking back up at you like a mad kitten, only fueling you more to laugh.

he ends up taking off the sweater, leaving him in the plain white t-shirt, matching the frosting that he was outlining the house with.

there was no doubt that his house looked like a disaster, the white frosting sprawled everywhere on the architectural creeks. the way the house look so… silly made you giggle in your seat as you reach out to get another house set up and put it in front of him.

you sat closer to jouno, shoulders brushing each-other. you leaned in closer, basically sitting apart of his seat, your hands ghosting over his as you rest your head on his shoulder blade. instructing him silently for him to follow your movements.

you didn’t notice the way he tensed up when you brush your fingers against his and whisper in his left ear “just follow my lead, m’kay?” the mhm and nod of his head was slow and untimed.

there weren’t many, actually, no times where jouno was nervous, this was an expection. his heart quickens the way you’re so close to him, he forgot about this stupid gingerbread house making. all he’s focused on is you, only you. not the way you tried to push the plastic bag for the white frosting, only the way you intertwined your hands with his while doing it.

it feels shorter than it actually was, unfortunate for jouno. he grimaces silently when you let go of his hand, returning them back to your lap as you sat up, looking over slightly at the almost-decent gingerbread house, he made—no, you both made together

he lets out a snarky remark and sighs, leaning on the table with the backside of his hand. “are we finally done with this” he says, turning his head to you. you huffed, the yes you let out indicates him something, he gladly lets out a relieved-dramatic sigh, again.

“thank god, thought we’d be doing this forever” empathizing the thank god. he hastily gets up from his seat, tugging the hand of yours on his left, leading you to your shared room. “maybe we could if you would like?” “fuck no”

TETCHO SUEHIRO + MAKING S’MORES

tetcho was the one who actually asked you if you both could make s’mores. fukuchi left the group take a well-deserved day off after their patrol, being delighted by this, tetchou went to you immediately. he forgot to change out of his military uniform when visiting your apartment, he ended up wearing the clothes he left at your apartment a few times when coming over, or kept it on… he doesn’t mind, really.

due to his work, he’s determined to keep the city peaceful and safe, so on days when he gets the day off he doesn’t really know what to do and just patrols around the city some more… same goes with expenses, ends up buying useless trinkets? buys oddly perfect wrapped gifts for his coworkers with the random-est things inside.

once bought jouno those cheesy best-friends necklaces that haves magnets inside and stick on the side. in the corner of the room there’s teruko who was trying to stifle her laughs with an awkward tachihara on her side, an confused fukichi because he doesn’t know what he walked into, and an irritated jouno in front of him slapping his hand so the necklace with the words best engraved on it would fall.

“jouno, i got us best friend bracelets. they magnetize together.” … “we are not best friends, idiot, I hate you” “but we work together a lot?”—“against my will! and you’re so useless in missions, you’re no use until we’re at the enemy, ugh!” … “PFFF-tetcho is such an idiot, tachihara!” “teruko…” “jouno you could use a few friends” … “captain!?”

there wasn’t really a chance where tetcho would spend with someone, of course he didn’t mind this, he didn’t consider himself a lonely person but there’s times.

(anyways back to s’mores)

it was at a popular and crowded campsite, it already had that s’more-y setup that only needed to be lighted. you both sat at the same wooden bench, getting the (sanitized) wooden sticks out and putting the marshmallows on the tip then stabbing it in.

he didn’t knew how it worked; burnt it once, twice, then five times. he got a little frustrated but then perfected it after you helped him time it correctly.

since you didn’t specify when you asked for chocolate, he got the white Hershey ones, not ideal but it would work… until you thought wrong, he sprinkles salt on his s’more and eats it with his usual blank face.

made another (slightly failed attempted) s’more but gives it to you, encouraging you lightly to try it. he didn’t pressure you though, he knows his taste wasn’t suited for most majority of people (may or may not be from the hard way..)

you loved him too much to decline it… expecting the worse, it wasn’t that bad as you thought, or your taste buds are messed up as his. nevertheless his little smile grew a little more wider when you did, if you look close enough.

you tried to bribe him to try it without the salt, with no offense possible, he surprisingly took the chance, taking the s’more you had without a moment of hesitation with a sure, takes a bite out of it without a moment later. his eyes widen like he didn’t expect it to be delicious.. or decent?

“it’s tasty” “…thought it was gonna be poisonous?” your joke earning an airy-laugh and smile from tetcho as he nods his head, playing along.

© 2024 KISSEDLOVELETTERS. do not copy or modify any of my layouts and writing. do not translate or repost onto any other sites.

[xvxblahhhxvx]

Ok, I'm convinced at this point that instead of teaching English, schools should just start getting their students into bsd, because honestly, the effects are about the same.

Like, what is this fandom??? As far as anime go, it's sort of known, but it's not even close to mainstream, and then you join the fandom to discover that it's actually huge.

-The fans will write five thousand word analyses, complete with textual evidence, about anything and everything, and they'll all be more well written and deeper than their thematic essay for English class.

-They won't even think twice about reading a bunch of classics to understand their favorite characters, and then they'll happily write you an analysis of a Japanese classic written in the mid-twentieth century and how it connects to their favorite character. They'll casually read Crime and Punishment, a book english teachers have no hope of having their students read in general, let alone for fun, and they'll do it and then give their theories about how it may connect to the villain's powers. They also end up just getting into classic literature in general.

-Ask them to give a summary of the book they had to read, they'll stare at you blankly, but ask them about the chain of abuse vs the savoir chain and you will hear a psychological breakdown on the concept of abuse, and how different characters treat others differently because etc etc etc.

-Not even the top criminal defense lawyer could compete with a bungou stray dogs fan explaining why Chuuya Nakahara, a man who is an executive in the Mafia, a man who has killed many people, has gotten involved in smuggling and all sorts of illegal activities, is actually a good person and deserves all the sunlight and happiness in the world.

-And the art that comes out of it??? The fanfictions, the fanart, the edits- I've read fanfiction that made me feel more than a published book ever will. Seen fanart that belongs in a museum, and the edits are some of the coolest stuff known to man.

-And they're just so low key??? Like seriously, don't teach English, teach bungou stray dogs. You'd get better results that way.

[libraryraccoon]

I was wondering how a Dazai!Reader from BSD (preferably 15 year old Dazai) would interact with the HH crew

Btw, I love your stuff sm, have a lovely day if you see this!

Gender : GN

Pronouns : None

Info : I haven't watched BSD for a long time, so it's probably wrong/inaccurate, sorry. Reader have 15 years old.

Message fom Raccoon : What ? Dad!Lucifer ? Dad!Alastor ? Okay, take that Dad!Husk !

TW : Suicide (mentionned); SH (mentionned)

General Headcanon

Finally.

After all this years of trying, after all this attempts, you were finally dead !

And what do we do when we have achieved such a feat ? We drink until the morning !

As you drank, you recounted your feat of finally dying to the bartender, some sort of cat-bird demon.

He gave you a judgmental look when you told him you were 15 and died of suicide.

But you were used to it, people often judge you while you were alive and was trying every second to die.

After a few hours, you were drunk and followed the bartender back to his place, a small apartment in a quiet corner of Hell.

You shouldn't follow someone to their home, you know that, but for your defense, you were drunk and he was a cat. And you have a weakness for cats.

Two things making it impossible to refuse his invitation.

And, if anything ever went wrong, you always had your gun with you, which had appeared at the same time as you in Hell.

The bartender's name was Husk and he kind of adopted you ? You weren't even sure if one sinner could adopt another sinner.

Life was calm with Husk, and you somehow helped him with his work.

By that I mean you were stopping the powers of other demons with your power, so you used it to kick out all the assholes who attacked him from the bar.

You and Husk had this dynamic of "Father who will kill for his child & Child who will sacrifice themselves for their father."

And then, one day you had to move to the Hazbin Hotel because Husk find a work there.

Alastor was surprised to see that Husk now had a kid–he didn't think it was possible for an alcoholic like him to have a child.

And he learned that Husk had cut down on his drinking, so he could be a better father.

*very kindly and not at all suspiciously notes this fact in the back of his mind.*

The hotel was quite shocked to know that you were a child from a fucking mafia and that you had died of suicide at 15 years old. If Husk hadn't informed them about that, they never would have suspected it.

Your humor worries them more than anything else.

Charlie is worry every time you make jokes about suicide while your dad rolls his eyes at it.

Husk was used to your jokes after a few months of living together.

The hotel wasn't.

Charlie is like your older sister, optimistic and a little naive at times.

She always tries to make you see the bright side of things and to make you forget this idea of double death.

Spoiler : it doesn't work.

Lucifer sees you like one of his children.

He spoils you like he spoiled Charlie when she was just a child.

Husk often makes side eyes at him, accusing him of trying to steal his child.

And that was true.

Lucifer, Charlie, Husk and Angel Dust are the ones who are the most concerned about your mental health.

Alastor wanted to make you sign a contract "I become powerful and Alastor releases my father from his contract in exchange of stopping trying to kill myself."

You didn't sign it.

Alastor tried to use you to spy on Vox and the Vees because he was bored and wanted some entertainment.

It worked.

Alastor do radio shows with you sometimes, you two are called "The RadioDuo".

His audience LOVES you.

You gained Alastor some listeners btw.

You help Niffty with her work at the Hotel.

Even if Charlie said you didn't have to do it, you do it anyway.

Vaggie take all your guns because you apparently “didn’t need” them.

You managed to recover them with a little manipulation.

Angel Dust could see himself in you.

You reminded him of his little human self, Anthony, broken by the world and wanting to end it. A family running the Mafia and forcing him to join it.

You're a bit like him, but compared to him, who fought to survive, had a reason to survive, you had nothing, no reason to fight, and you gave up.

When Angel Dust isn't working, he usually stays with you and Husk.

He doesn't want to abandon you, leave you alone in such a rotten world. He wants you to be protected and to be the child you never could be.

He will never let anyone touch you, never.

Husk and Angel Dust are usually the ones who bandage you after SH, Angel Dust doesn't say anything as he does it, because he understands. Husk doesn't speak as well, but you can see that by doing so he's blaming himself, making you instantly regret it.

Don't try to kill yourself in front of them, please. They're already worried enough, don't add more.

Hotel Hazbin was, in a way, your family.

And you would kill everyone in this room before killing yourself before anything happened to them.

[benetnvsch]

someone took this way too seriously and I just wonna say if they're seeing this dw (or ig worry in their case KDJHDK), the bsd hyper fixation is fine, mostly I just wanted an excuse to talk about my plushies-

‘hmm I think I may be losing my bsd hyperfixation idk :/’

I say to myself as I tuck my Kunikida plush into bed next to my white tiger plush and German shepherd one to make her feel at home-

Sure :’)

[wh0s-v1nc3nt]

new intro post!

welcome, be not afraid. i am a kind angel.

about me:

hiiiii!! i’m lou/wren/vincent. i am a minor so please don’t be creepy. here is my pronouns page for my info about what you can call me. i am a transmasc genderfluid bi boygirlthing btw. i am angelkin but non-religious. i have no problem with religious people as long as they’re not meanies. i’m kinda cringe and i know that.

my fandoms are bsd, r1999, dead plate, cold front, hsr, analog horror, lacey games, crk, pjsk, danganronpa, genshin impact, and death note.

music:

will wood, the stereosexuals, a verbal equinox, penelope scott, msi, mcr, lemon demon, ayesha erotica, millionaires, sloppy jane, fiona apple, ewy, eyedress, tv girl, mitski, dazey and the scouts, weezer, tally hall, olivia rodrigo, the pAper chAse, john congleton in general, tub ring, tears for fears, devi mccallion (all projects), mccafferty, miracle musical, the beatles, madilyn mei, maretu, the offspring, alex g, soddikken, femtanyl, and jack stauber.

standard dni criteria, nothing to note here. i’m not going to harass over fiction but at the same time proshippers dni.

i’m most likely neurodivergent and i have diagnosed anxiety and depression so i may be a little awkward. if you want to be friends just ask me! i really appreciate my mutuals and respect the hell out of you guys.

art requests are open!! don’t ask me to draw weird shit, no complicated background, no nsfw, no ed, sh, sa, or pedo stuff, light to mid gore is totally fine. i don’t need payment. you can ask for stuff from any of my fandoms.

here are my tags + other socials:

art: #lous art

talking: #lou yaps

colored traditional art: #lou colors its fucking drawing

animating tag: #lou does stop motion

writing tag: #lou writes

personal non fandom stuff: #lous personal

my anon emoji will be 🩻

my pinterest

my strawpage

creds on the saw dividers to @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

pfp and header were customized by the awesome @dollie-disaster-darling

my irls are: @starreskies @x6v1er and @kallonwaibel13 i love you guys smmmmm!!! X333

[11-asher-11]

My experience and my "blockages" that are not blockages

Sorry guys but i wanted to do this post again bcs the last time i did it quickly and without putting too much thoughts into it. I'm sorry for the ones who reposted, gave me like and commented but i'll eliminate that post. So sorry 😭

Alright guys, I wanted to make this post about my experience with shifting in general and what "problems" i'm facing now. I'm doing it bcs i will try to find a solution here so if someone have the same problems can get those tips. ALSO. if you have the same problems and just wanna vent/talk, you can comment or dm (whenever you want).

Basically, I started wanting to shift in September of 2023, and I still wasn't really conscious of what shifting was or how much it was real. (Let's say I didn't script out the getting hurt, and I was fine with killing 😭, don't let me even talk about it..). Fortunately I start getting to the shiftok before even trying to shift and i get into this video of that girl that explained why you shouldn't kill/shift in dangerous dr (I don't like her and I honestly don't agree besides the killing but there it was necessary and i'm glad I saw her).

For that video i start swallow in guilty just for thinking about it and I didn't want to change my bsd dr so much, I felt guilty for not wanting to script out other characters traumas so I start giving myself traumas (like not scripting out i can't get hurt and strange events). And it didn't go well at first. I used to wake up in the morning (after "trying" to shift) breathing envy, scared, terrified and with the only thought of talking to my friend (the one who was a shifter but was strange abt it and end up downplay shifting to "something more" than lucid dreaming after literally shifting).

Then I get it, fortunately. YOU CHOSE WHERE YOU GO. you can go to the most fucked up Dr and you can still be the only one that doesn't get hurt. Is not your fault if the people there suffered from traumas. And it's not your fault for wanting to experience that kind of realities. It's fine to add silly stuffs even if is a dangerous dr or whatever. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

1. Past

i'm not someone to care abt the past, but it's true that how we feels abt things is bcs of past. Like if you watch a film as kid and you cried abt it bcs of a scene ofc you'll fell weird about re-watching it even at older age. The same is for me abt shifting. Every time i see someone say "it's lucid dreaming" i got flashbacks abt my friend who downplayed shifting to thatml. About how much it hurted and all.. but guess what? you can change what you feel abt thing. Like do you remember abt that film that made you cry? now you got courage to watch it again. And you get that that scene wasn't so bad, actually it was so cool, the animation was peak and the dub too. Do the same with shifting. Why that comment from my friend hurted? bcs i trusted her and I made the mistake to put my belief in her experiences. Now i look back at it and I see our friendship, our good moments that existed. How she always been weird abt shifting, how is probably just misinformation fault, how it can be 10000 different motivation for her to giving up, how shifting could still come back to her and it doesn't hurt so much anymore.

2. My feelings

Yeah, we all hate when we're sad and I feared it could stop me from shifting. Well it can't? but it can me not wanting to shift. And it's fine, we're human..i don't have to want to shift 24/7, and i can manifest to want it or stop feeling sad if i want. It's fine to have feelings, you just have to get those are not why you're not shifting.

3. Guilty

i defend ppl who shift for bad ppl, who race change, who do x, y and z. but me? why i can't defend myself? why i just start feeling guilty? I'm not worth less..Then why? That's bcs the only one who is judging me is me. No one else. Just yourself can judge you. Guilty is a feeling like the one before, and as them it's fine to feel it. Don't make it stop from making your decision. You and your subconscious know what is better for yourself.

4. Growing up

i got the strange feeling that once i grow up i have to give up on shifting, for my adult life, responsability or for others to push it bcs is "childish". But guess what? there are shifter from any age. from 9 to 80. Age is not a problem. You don't have to lose yourself just bcs you grow up, and you won't.

5. What in the future

what should I do with those knowledge? shift forever? being immortal? what if one of my dr go to the end point? it won't be sad? sure it will..but that is a future problem. Stay in the present. Also by shifting you can do ANYTHING you can re-live your life for inifnite times if you want, you can shift again and again and again. Or dying. Is not a problem.

6. i'm sensitive

it's not a problem ofc, but i'm scared that this could make anti-shifters comments get under my skin. Make me feel bad or things like that. But in the end i know they don't matter and ppl who are rude are not worth of my time or concern. Just keep going, bcs what else could we do? time doesn't stop for us and we ALWAYS find a way out of things. And that also in a "brain" sense, our brain is not dumb. It always go out from problem, even trauma guys. Also by manifestation everything is possible.

7. Talking with everyone abt it

is not a problem or a blockage (I call this post like that just bcs i didn't find a better name) but I feel kind of sad i can't talk abt it with everyone? but guess what? you can. You're just worried abt the reaction and that's what stop you. And it's your choice, you can manifest, you can get that is fine that not everyone know everything abt you or you can get rid of closed minded ppl. All you have to do is deciding (just like in shifting).

8. Alone

yes the feeling alone is so real, your journey is extremely personal. But guess what? THERE ARE PPL WHO CAN GENUINELY UNDERSTAND EVERYONE. those ppl have high emphaty and they can get you. In the end you have to do everything alone in shifting is true. But having friends can make you not feeling alone, and make you understand that shifting is not alone, is "solitaire".

9. Giving up

ofc is scary, but why would you be at this point if you wanna give up? and in the end I know that i WON'T give up. Not matter what. i always come back to shifting bcs is a win or win situation. It made me love lives, it gives me infinite possibilities and it can be used in ANY way. Never worry abt this. Also you can manifest.

10. Personal things

For example i can't stay without doing something. So ofc in my shifting attempts at least I have to do something (like daydream and all) and is not like is wrong or a problem. But some personal things can make you stress. Like if you insicure by nature, it can affect your shifting but that DOESN'T stop you..it just can be tiring. And i love how shifting can make you grow up as person and make you enjoy life, solve problems, asking for help and all..

11. i'm happy here but still i claim more.

Ofc even if your happy here shifting is beautiful. i'm happier here with my life but that doesn't mean that i can't want to shift, permashift or anything. Shifting can be even just an hobby (the best hobby ever i suppose) and there's nothing wrong. No you're not strange bcs even if you're happy here you claim more or you want to permashift. No you're not strange bcs you feel like dying when your doubts make you believe that maybe shifting is fake. It's normal..it's part of journey and one day you'll laugh about all those doubts.

12. I wanna be healty abt it.

But how can i? shifting has no morals. Is like nature..is something that all living things can do, it has no morals at all. And what being healthy even means? is not thinking abt it every day? but what if i think it in a positive way? is not trying every day? but what if i still enjoy life? the answer is the same. Is what you want it to be. Shifting is healthy no matter what, if you feel like your relationship with shifting is toxic is never bcs of shifting itself. Is something (like insicure, being in a spiral of desperation, "i'll die if i don't shift" ecc..) you have to understand and shifting is just trying to make you understand it.

13. Feeling out of community

Some things that are in the community are not for me. It's fine ofc. But it can make you feel left out. Like the whole "just pretend you shifting" i mean ofc i can. But i still have a life here i wanna live. And is not like i'll cry if i don't shift. Or "that's why you didn't shift.." why ppl make those post? two post ago you said we can just fin by ourselves the answers and now you make this? you're just making ppl believe or discovering new problems that they don't have (ofc i don't talk abt those post that do it just for informations, i mean more ppl who said it like they know more than us ourselves). Also for example is not for me getting into 282882 spiritual things. i'm not saying i don't believe them bit for now I just wanna shift..no astral projection, no witchcraft, no obe (that is not shifting). Just shift.

14. Getting crazy?

i was scary to get crazy, like idk even why? like that i end up in spiral of craziness and desperation for shifting bur is lowkey impossible? you literally can manifest and WHY SHOULD I GET CRAZY? for traumas? just manifest i don't have them? for failing? you can't fail shifting? for x, y, z? NO. it's not possible. You won't get crazy for something like that. Sure shifting is a crazy concept (for ppl of this reality at least) but that doesn't mean you'll get crazy 😭

15. Seeing shifting in everything

Like it's annoying. Sure is good if you see it in positive things but is not if you see it in bad things. Like everytime i see someone give hate to religions i feel target even if shifting IS NOT a religion. Or when they shame cults when shifting IS NOT a cult (and shame cults is like..right? if they're bad). Or when someone say a poetic phrase that cannot applicate to shifting. That doesn't mean they don't believe in shifting. If there is a thing I know is that NOTHING applies to EVERYTHING. what works for someone doesn't for someone else. what something matter for x thing, doesn't for y thing and is OKAY. the same with shifting and all it comprehends (like journey ecc..).

As I said before most of this problems disappears in the morning. Idk why i get that at night, probably because I convinced myself is like that. So the solution is just manifest and i'm doing it. I just wanted to talk and try to be helpful to someone (and maybe make friends with the same problems so we can give each other tips). Every problem can be fought don't worry too much.

Hopes it helps someone! BYEE! :)

[nyxi-pixie]

HIIIII I was wondering if you had any ideas on what music would bsd characters listen to?? all i see is people saying dazai is a msi listener HE IS NOT it makes me wanna rip my nails off

PLEASE. msi mention in the big '25 this is a horrendous world we live in. now i honestly dont have specific answers but i willlll gavel to wood judge their general vibe. i had entirely too much fun with this started doing everyone😭

for chuuya its canon he likes rock, so his tastes probably close to stuff like granrodeo. reckon the sheep were into some really cringe fake edgy stuff tho and chuuya thinks hes really cool for listening to it. when he went to beat people up for them, shirase would be behind him somewhere so chuuya could say something embarrassing like 'hit it! i need something to get my blood rushing🥶🥶🥶' and shirase would play dogshit out of a busted speaker. hashtag my cringe fav!

dazai obviously listens to jokey stuff to be disturbing (suicide song). i do think the stuff he listens to to be annoying he does genuinely enjoy though, such is often the nature of dazais lies. for the most part i dont actually think hes very picky about it. listens to anything if its on, will judge other peoples taste despite not really having his own😭 i can imagine a slight preference for instrumental when alone if only bc mori seems like a classical music guy and i imagine that rubbed off a bit. also real to me that he intentionally got into various bands chuuya was into and did a lot of 'i actually like this more than you. youre a fake fan bc you dont know the bass guitarist pissed himself during the recording of this track and they kept it in' and such like when they were teens just for the purposes of pissing him off.

for the rest of them. the akutagawas are into old school goth music that sounds kind of silly unless youre also into it, like some real 'she liiikes the darkkkk' type shit😭 atsushi has the worlds most extensive taste ever. comes out of that fuckass orphanage having heard like 3 songs in his life and has zero taste. thinks every song is the best song hes heard. higuchi listens to the most pop pop to ever pop and then just a lot of breakup songs that she imagines dramatic scenarios to. sat in her car looking out the rainy window and everything. kyouka probably says something like 'the only music ive heard is the screams of the 35 people who i was forced to murder' and you go okay kyouka would you like to listen to this silly pop song. look heres the band wearing bunny costumes. and she becomes their no.1 fan <3 yosano exclusively listens to female artists, says she cant listen to male singers bc their voices annoy her (hashtag my favourite misandrist) she prefers stuff with a little edge but can get down to some real basic girl shit for messy club going. in another life shes in the trenches defending her favs on twitter, doxxing people about it and all. tachihara is obsessed with saying hes 'discovered' an artist and keeps trying to get the black lizard on to some shitty soundcloud shit where 90% of the song is just a repeating producer tag. hirotsu insists the only music he listens to is live music in a smoky bar, but is in fact secretly hooked on one of higuchi's sadgirl breakup songs. kunikida googles 'music to better my health' and listens to the first thing that comes up. fukuzawa says he listens to classical to focus on his work and sometimes he does but usually hes got earphones in and hes listening to a cat choir.

[welivetodream]

✨ My BSD hot takes/unpopular opinions ✨:

1. Identifying BSD characters as Queer, is not problematic. STOP being so Heteronormative. Gay characters are not gonna kill you.

If I see another "BuT tHe ChArAcTeRs nEvEr SaId tHeY aRe GaY" I would bomb you 💣/j

2. Skk/SSKK/Fyolai/other popular ships, exist because people like it. If you don't ship them, don't engage with their content. Not all shippers act crazy and toxic. Stop blaming everything on shippers.

3. Atsushi/Kyouka is problematic, stop justifying it with "only 4 year age gap". Kyouka is a CHILD, ship her with Kenji if you want. Atsushi, like a normal 18 year old would never look at a highschool freshman and date her. Even if they date in the future, he knew her when she was younger and they had a sibling like dynamic. Lucy is a way better love interest to Atsushi (Don't know if this is an unpopular opinion tho, but I saw some people justifying it 😐😐😐)

4. DAZAI IS NOT EVIL. HE IS FAR FROM EVIL. He is, despite being super popular and the face of BSD, the most mischaracterized and villified character. Morally grey characters exist??!!!

5. Mori is a way worse person than Dazai ever was.

6. PM members get a free pass for any heinous crime they commit by being hot or babygirl-ified (still love them tho, we do not often discuss how bad their actions have been, you can like criminals and acknowledge they are criminals in fiction. I would add DoA to this too, but it's worse with the PM)

7. Akutagawa's abuse of Kyouka shouldn't be forgotten just because Dazai abused Akutagawa.

8. Mori emotionally manipulated and abused Dazai when he was a teen. Just because it wasn't physical, doesn't mean it was nothing.

9. Atsushi is NOT a soft boy, he is way bitter, salty and sarcastic than we give him credit

10. Poe is important to Ranpo and their friendship/relationship is wholesome as hell

11. Ranpo and Yosano's friendship is way better than them being in a relationship in the future

12. FukuFuku is better than Fukumori (imo!!!!)

13. Buying real authors work after watching BSD is actually a really good thing, since more Gen z kids (or other people) will read classics

14. There are layers to Atsushi and Akutagawa relationship/rivalry, and they have the MOST important relationship (not meaning romantic, just in general) in the entire canon.

15. Kunikida and Yosano could be a power couple

16. Fyodor is not a great villain (yet)

17. Nikolai CARRIES the DoA

18. Sigma shouldn't be in the ADA, he needs a happy home, family and some time to adjust to normal life

19. Q and Elise are both underused characters and could become a great dynamic

20. Ango deserves more love, the amount of pressure and stress he deals with is INSANE

21. It's OKAY if everyone joins the fandom for Dazai or skk (I did at first too!!)

22. Higuchi is annoying as hell. I do not get her hype, I like her but not as much as most people (just personal opinion, do not flame me 😭)

23. Everyone in The Guild is forgettable or boring (except Fitzgerald, Poe and Lucy. I like Louisa, but I forget her all the time)

24. Hetero ships are just not that great/interesting in BSD to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ (except maybe AtsuLucy or rare pairs) and female characters are not best utilised, I wish they play more major roles (can't wait for Agatha to arrive!!)

25. Some fan theories/arts get the story better than "canon" stuff at times. Fanon is NOT always the worst (sometimes enjoyable when the canon gets too dark or sad)

26. Toxic ships are okay in fiction as long as they are legal. Humans like toxic things, we consume it like junk food 💅🏻

(These are all personal opinions of mine and do not matter. Feel free to disagree. But, do not hate or be toxic!!!! 😇😇😇😇)

(PS: I compiled all these because of posts I have seen in, Reddit, Pinterest, Twitter and sometimes Tiktok. These aren't really abt you Tumblr folks. I meant to post this on reddit but did not have the courage or mental strength lol)

[frankenjoly]

i love nb atsushi and specifically him already having realized he's transmasc before canon but not quite there yet like "i have another million doubts but at least this part's gotten clear already"

then turns out that no: there's still figuring out to do

[gossypibomaa]

as someone who has nothing more than a basic high-school understanding of physics, this is how I see all the physics stuff going on in the recent bsd chapters.

(AGAIN I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ACTUAL PHYSICS THIS IS JUST WHAT'S MADE SENSE TO ME DON'T KILL ME)

(I only make this diagram because I feel like it makes sense to me but now I'm starting to doubt that I actually understand it and just think that I know what's going on. so I've made an explanation so that hopefully if I am wrong, someone can tell me)

one more note as well: the terms "infinite/infinity" and "fourth dimension" are used loosely here. I know that this is likely inaccurate, but it's just a simple generalization of how I can see it.

So there's the main 3D universe which is (obviously) length, width, and depth expanding outward infinitely in all three of those directions(condensed into a cube to model it)

It's impossible to really see the 4th dimension. The best way I can understand how I see it is by lining up these 3D planes/universe onto this plane behind it.

The "4D" plane drawn here(I know it really isn't but again just for visualization/having something to see it as) doesn't have width/height/depth, it is just there. It represents time. It could even be drawn as just a line, or lines between 3D planes.

And that plane being time, you can line up the 3D planes on it like animation keyframes. (-2 sec, -1 sec, present, 1 sec, 2 sec, etc, etc.)

And also something of note, each 3D plane isn't just one second of time here. Because really, there are measurements of time smaller than a second but I am not writing all that out. Best way I can still explain it is animation keyframes.

And if you rotate this and expand it outwards a bit:

Each section represents each interval of time(or keyframe) of the 3 dimensional space, and each section is each keyframe's space(length/width/depth) in its ENTIRETY.

This plane expands through every second/frame of the third dimension. Negative infinity, present, and positive infinity.

And in perspective of recent events:

and now add Fyodor's whole "drawing on a piece of paper with two hands" thing.

Each dot represents where Gozen(A four dimensional being) has been placed onto the timeline.

If the model was drawn to go farther backwards, it would show where Gozen was placed in the timeline to kill off Kunikida, Kenji, and Tanizaki, with the dots having line segments after them that extended until Gozen was no longer in that space of time.

When a four dimensional being attacks a third dimensional one(or goes into a 3D space), it can go in through any (x, y, z) coordinate on the "keyframe" it chooses to attack or go in from.

And put more into perspective with said events:

(gozen attacking third dimensional beings)

(gozen staying in the 3D space-time)

(both visualized)

(red dot(w/ line, no black center) is gozen, purple is fyodor, pink is atsushi, orange is akutagawa, yellow is fukuzawa.)

okay yeah :thumbs-up-emoji:

[0pancake-mix0]

Pokémon bsd headcannons because I can do whatever I want

There is a lot and I only did the DOA trio, look below the cut at your own risk.

Fyodor

Professor, if this was a game he’d be a twist villain but it’s not so he’s just a professor

I imagine he’s not fully evil in this game, like N, perhaps he’s trying to study dangerous legendaries and getting in over his head?

His partner Pokémon is a very graceful and elegant glaceon (they have matching Ushankas :D in my universe he started wearing it as a child to match with her )

Vaguely evil, extremely cold with all his Pokémon and every single 10 year old that wants his help. Despite this all his Pokémon love him (not the 10 year olds they are terrified of him, but he is extremely helpful if you get over that, he thinks he’s very nice to the kids and is unaware how terrifying he is)

The reason all his Pokémon love him is that he is actually quite sweet to them, he loves them all more then anyone in his life (poor Nikolai), but he’s got appearances to keep up.

He doesn’t battle and has none of his Pokémon are in pokeballs or the boxes (as a professor he has some to study or to keep for trainers) his Pokémon are, Glaceon, Ratatta, Maushold, Raichu, Nidoran, plusle+minun, and Minccino. As well as Alonan Ninetails and a (shiny!) Mimikyu.

The government has to physically stop him from owing more rat adjacent Pokémon.

Nikolai

Former world champion, was defeated by Dazai :( (who was later defeated by Atsushi, the protagonist of this AU, the new current champion) he wasn’t too mad tho, he now wanders around tormenting Sigma and Fyodor.

Also vaguely villainous, but that’s mostly because of a loyalty to Fyodor

He was never to interested in any prestige, he just finds battling fun

Doesn’t believe in pokeballs or boxes, so he technically has no Pokémon, his team is constantly changing as wild Pokémon will hang out with him for a bit then move on. He does have a handful of Pokémon that he’s quite close to and will never leave him.

His permanent team is Corviknight, Mr. Mime (who he calls Sir Mime for some reason), a Meowscarda Fyodor loaned him that he stole, and a Talonflame. A tinkaton has been hanging around him recently and many think it may become a permanent member.

They are all tricksters and love his pranks, probably why they are so loyal.

His ensemble of temporary Pokémon tend to consist of flying types, but he likes all types, there isn’t a single Pokémon he dislikes

The government has to physically stop him from getting more bird Pokémon

Sigma

A trainer with the goal of catching the entire Pokédex

His partner is eevee, who has not evolved, but eevee (Eta) knows charm and they are extremely close, so if it happens, it will likely be a Slyveon.

An errand boy for Fyodor, he catches pokemon, brings them to Fyodor to study, then they get released (this they are occasionally kept by Fyodor, Sigma, or trainers that visit Fyodor) sigma loves his job and seeing the world, but is fairly certain Fyodor is trying to kill him with all the week long shiny hunts and dangerous pokemon he expects caught.

While eevee is his best friend, he also has Arcanine, Hatterene, Kirlia, and Formantis. They rarely stay in their balls, and tend to boss Sigma around.

He is extremely kind to Pokémon, often spoiling even wild pokemon with sweets and berries

The Pokémon Sigma research’s and catches recognize him, and when he backtracks through places he is swarmed by friendly pokemon who want to see him again. leading to him being frequently suffocated in jigglypuff.

Often tormented by Nikolai who will send his birds to steal Sigmas stuff and watch him panic. If discovered Hatterene will try and beat the shit out of Nikolai and will need to be stopped.

General

Nikolai and Sigma are friends despite all the tormenting, but Nikolais Pokémon and Sigmas Pokémon HATE each other

Just like how Sigma and Nikolai (though he doesn’t admit it) will take orders from Fyodor , all of Nikolai and Sigmas Pokémon will listen to Fyodors Pokémon (which is very funny considering Fyodor mostly has tiny mice, compared to Sigma and Fyodors larger pokemon (you ever see a Nidoran scold an Arcanine and Corviknight?))

Nikolai is the only one morally against pokeballs, but Fyodor and Sigmas don’t tend to use them either, Sigma doesn’t with his party only the pokemon he’s delivering to Fyodor. Fyodor only using pokeballs when he travels, which is rarely.

A Blissy hangs around Fyodors house to help with his anemia, however Fyodor doesn’t own this pokemon and doesn’t know where she’s from (it’s a wild pokemon who made a deal with Nikolai)

When Tandemaus evolved into Maushold (had kids) Fyodor showed his ‘grandchild’ to anyone that would listen

Sigma barely needs a bed anymore, he exclusively sleeps on Arcanines back

Hatterene is EXTREMELY protective of Sigma, often resorting to physical violence. Fyodor was worried about Hatterenes reaction to Sigmas anxiety, but it seems to be fine.

Nikolai’s Corviknight remembers being a small Rookidee and sleeping on Nikolai’s lap, he still thinks he is small enough to do so and once broke Nikolai’s ankle trying to cuddle (Nikolai had to grin through the pain)

Occasionally Fyodor goes to take a nap or something and then his full lab is run by a team of rodents (plus ninetails) ordered around by Glaceon. By all account they do an excellent job beside trainers being weirded out that a Mimikyu is starting out their journey by giving them their first pokemon and Pokédex.

I will absolutely be drawing this at some point, and adding more, because I have ideas that would probably be better at my schoolwork but you get Pokémon instead.

(Also sorry if any of my followers aren’t familiar with pokemon, this must be so confusing, I’ll answer any questions 😭)

[windypuddle]

ok portrait of a father also drives me crazy narratively because bsd has a lot of themes of like overcoming your past, personal growth & finding strength from within, finding a reason to live, that kind of thing. which this chapter does touch on but in such a strange way.

i think honestly something that comes up a few times is that old people like the headmaster had it really tough & horrible during the great war so they expect the next generation to also deal with that hardship, but the war is over. and it makes perfect sense that the headmaster believes he did all that to (a) make atsushi hate the headmaster instead of himself and (b) make atsushi able to overcome hardship. and from a view of physical suffering point b is absolutely true but mentally emotionally psychologically it can absolutely be argued & there is SO MUCH evidence that the headmasters treatment of atsushi affected him SO badly. he has ptsd he has so many scars literal & emotional. he feels paralyzed and helpless when he's alone against an enemy because it feels like hes alone again in the orphanage. so the headmasters view of "torture him to make him stronger" makes sense personally for him to do BUT i dont believe it fits in the themes bsd actually wants to tell.

Dazai comparing him to a father figure for atsushi does fit with the headmaster's good intentions. and akutagawa when he shows up on the boat says "when that weretiger is backed into a corner or defeated, he will come back as a much more troublesome foe" which also supports that. But this overcoming suffering through strength of will stuff is not what bsd is about. its about trusting allies to have your back and fight alongside you . like dazai said, the reason fyodor "lost" the race out of meursault was because he didn't have one thing: allies. he only has pawns; nikolai is the only person who truly cares about him and thats. well. nikolai. and in the fight on the boat, atsushi and akutagawa only lost because they didn't trust in each other fully. mostly atsushi actually. fukuchi even SAID that if atsushi had trusted akutagawa to have his back with Rashomon from the start, they could have killed him and won. so the most important thing is not personal strength but having allies & trusting other people to support you because for atsushi, the worst thing is being alone.

anyway this chapter acknowledges that the headmaster had good intentions but that doesnt necessarily mean that everyone else would agree with them. and dazai even says atsushi doesnt have to forgive him. so they WEREN'T actually the best methods for making atsushi better But they were done out of like love and care . and thats the important part & what this chapter is about (evidence: the ending where atsushi cries)