#like most times i think it's my paranoia

[nanabanonana]

user: i can't believe people judge others on their shipping preferences

that same user: imagine shipping [redacted] lol

[maudiemoods]

Ok not cool why am I hearing voices

[voidscreamns]

./

[ganondoodle]

something thats been driving me crazy is the constant worry that i am somehow using harmful stereotypes for the characters i write

like i am unfortunately white tm and me also being autistic and queer does not erase that obviously, im always trying to educate myself as best as i can, yet i feel like im always doing something wrong

its less of a problem when im working with the normal forms of hylia and demise since they are not really human, and though their humanoid disguises technically are still not human they do represent what they might have looked like if they grew up as one; i didnt want to make demises form too dark since i felt like it would perpetuate that stereotype of dark skin = evil which is already not great about ganondorfs character design, but didnt want to make him too light since i felt it would erase that part of his connection to ganondorf altogether and make it all the worse, but then again my demise isnt actually that evil, hes good at heart, so making him too light then would be even worse bc it would imply that light = good thing again

for hylia im even more anxious about it bc i intentionally gave her very dark skin to kinda subvert that light = good thing with zelda (tho in my AU the gods are not good and hylia isnt actually as loyal to them as it may seem bc she knows that.. which i feel complicates things just further; and also light an dark is just a very good contrast aesthetically?) but then i also like to intentionally make characters rather ?gender? but then i worry her being somewhat masculine would also be sth harmful bc i know black women are often treated as inherently less feminine .. which isnt my intention at all (tho my hylia .. doesnt rly have a gender? idk many characters i like to write/design dont have anything specific, like what more do you need than knwoing the right pronouns to call them?? qnq) her being rather cold and ruthless also feels like im doing something bad somehow

then theres the whole sexualization worry, i dont know if im doing that in a bad way bc honestly i just like .. drawing ...bodies? aesthetically? like yes they are very sexy but also wheres the line, am i somehow overstepping it without knowing?? how can i recognize what is normal 'finding certain things pretty or sexy' and what isnt??

so far i dont remeber anyone pointing anythign out as bad which im taking as a sign that i cant be doing that badly .. hopefully, maybe all this is a very stupid thing to worry about and its obvious to everyone else but i am so god damn afraid of doing something even slightly questionable and being hunted down for it (probably bc similar happened to me when i was a teen and it was about an absolut non issue, literally, so even the thought of doing something actually bad is mind boggling to me bc that other thing nearly cost me my life and i literally dont know how i survived and i would 100% not if it happened again..)

this is probably a very chronically online thing too but hoenstly i needed to get it out of my head for once

[unicornsaures]

ill forever adore going through my old sketchbooks because its like going through memories i never knew i had

[foolishnpd]

i simply cannot have a normal positive reaction to anything normal happening ever T_T

[priestfrommidnightmass]

he could absolutely break my heart eventually. and i genuinely couldn’t care less

[ilikecheeseandchocolatee]

Well not exactly a vent but it’s just stuff pertaining to my personal life that only a few mutuals know about sooooooo yeah read the tags first for content warnings

Just talked to a friend from school after a long long time because i wanted to make sure he’s doing okay (he’s Palestinian) and yeah i just talked about how I hope i see him whole and healthy when I come back to school next month, and he said that he hopes I’m better too

And I was like wait what

So yeah idk if you guys know but memory issues are probably my main main problem right now in that they’re actually horrifically bad and I should really see a professional about this as soon as I am financially able to. So I was like okay what if there was something wrong with me last time I was in school

So I asked him what I was like last October and he said that I seemed really stressed/paranoid and that I seemed really on edge (those are his words) and like damn. In that regard yeah I’m doing so so much better now than back then. Which is understandable because England always fucks up my mental health I just didn’t expect it to be that bad in October. What in the world was a stressed about? I had nothing to be stressed about except my medications doing their job. NOW I have about a billion things to be stressed about. And honestly what was I being paranoid about. I have pretty much no memories of last year now which is obviously not ideal because I have exams for fucks sake.

Past me I am sorry for always throwing shade at you, I’m trying to remember that I don’t remember the past and I can’t possibly judge you for things if I don’t remember what you were going through. But I keep forgetting about my memory issues. I’m very sorry and please know I still love you and I know you’ve been doing your best since you turned 15. I’m sorry that I keep doubting you and hating you. I’ll try to remind myself that I have issues.

Future me here is a promise. I promise that I’ll try to be kind to myself, ALL versions of myself. I’ll try to be kind to myself when I feel lazy and hopeless, and I’ll try to be kind to myself when my thoughts are getting the better of me. I’ll try to be kind to myself as I work on myself and I’ll try to see the progress I’ve made in the past few years. I’ll try to be kind when im struggling and I’ll try to be kind when I’m doing better. I’ll try to remember to not throw shade at any past version of me, because I’ll try to remind myself that I don’t remember most things anymore. I know I keep feeling like I DO remember but I need to accept that I don’t, not just the times when I get proof that I don’t. I need to remember that I do not remember things and to not judge past me anymore. Im sorry past me. And I promise future me. See you both

[spider-man-2o99]

After seeing your Xina post I am reminded that Spider-Man 2099 (especially the 90's run) is a case study on how a strong side cast is often a underestimate aspect of a strong comic run. Miguel's entourage is more memorable than his rogue gallery and gave him tons of stand out moments when he was out of the spider-man suit.

YEAHH YOU GET IT

Spider-Man 2099 (1992) may be set 100 years after the modern* day, but, at the crux of it, all the people in the book still act and talk like people. Even characters like Xina, who didn’t show up until about ~20 issues in, feel just as distinct and memorable as characters who were around from the start.

Hell, George O’Hara is dead before the book even starts, and yet his character still influences Miguel to a certain level just for having raised him-- the Young Miguel O’Hara side-stories aside, we see this guy in like... maybe one or two scenes in the whole main run. But. Those two scenes were all it took to establish everything we needed to know about him and who he was.

Everyone plays off each other so well that you could imagine any and all of these characters interacting with that fluid, tongue-in-cheek easy-breeziness. Not every person in the side cast is a home run, but a lot of them--enough of them--are that, even having reread the ‘90s run as many times as I have over the years, I still find it an honestly just entertaining comic book to sit down and read if you like its style.

[abc-felixx]

I caught my stove on fire that wasn’t a joke, I imagined my house burning and melting before my eyes as I began to realize what was happening. I said “Marissa hey Marissa” and and then a little more frantic “Marissa urgent come here it’s urgent” and then as they made their way I said “the stove is one fire”. We started to stumble around, Marissa said I’m calling my dad. I looked up what to do and in effect poured baking soda on it, but it didn’t go away. I then remembered my oven was on too, and 2 other burners, I turn everything off. The house begins to get smokey, I turn on all the fans and call 911. Then the fire was gone, but I was still scared to open up the oven or move forward. We open the windows, I grab a cigarette, and Marissa goes to the car for warmth as we wait outside for the firetruck. It was nothing super crazy. Pulling up in massive suits and grabbing like 3 heavy duty extinguishers, they see that stove is no longer on fire as I told the operator, and loosen up. One sighs, and heads back to the truck to take care of the equipment. They took my name and birthday, told me I need to clean the grease n shit from under my burners so that doesn’t happen. I’m like smokey the bear, except for not forest fires but o specifically oven fires and I actually only know one thing from what a firefighter told me once. Clean your burners and underneath them, especially if they’re old or pre-used. We talked a bit, then they left in their big car machine and flew away. They somehow managed to break our screen door with their industrialized suits of great volume as well. I then took the burnt pot upon a different burner plate and finished dinner. Overdone, I ate in disappointment and exhaustion, and returned back to my horrid predisposition. Everything is as though it’s in flames now, that’s all I can see now. I see it in everything now. I imagined much worse than what happened.

[orcelito]

I am so #LoserCore with how little I can handle horror (I don't think I've ever even seen an actual horror movie in full, even clips are Enough For Me)

Honestly tho I don't care if it makes me a "loser" for refusing to watch any kind of horror movie at all. I'm just trying to take care of myself :p

[stockholmgf]

what i would give to get my brain to shut up for just an hour straight

[julystruck]

ABSOLUTELY GIRLFLOPPING THROUGH LIFE 💯 🔥💯 🔥💯 🔥💯 🔥💯 🔥💯 🔥

[computerpeople]

whats worse, the roleplay side of tumblr or kinblr

the rpc by far. at least kinblr was filled with other fat delusional autistics that were mean, like if someone was insulting me i at least knew they were doing it bc they were jealous of my kinlist or something. the rpc has to be one of the most racist, ableist groups on tumblr ive seen. heavy on the racism.

[justashadetalkative]

Details: Clemcy

Every time I ponder Clemcy and physical contact I get some uh. Strange vibes off of him.

If he is the one initiating and in control, or if it’s adversarial and he knows it’s adversarial, or if it’s practical (eg. shaking hands or getting help), or if it’s from his other bodies or Oranask or one of his thralls… that all seems to be normal?

But he is anywhere from mildly uncertain to incredibly twitchy about it otherwise, and I’m just... *squints*

[pumpkin-n-mc]

thinking about jack who likes to play dress up when he’s little, getting a necklace from his cg that’s just a subtle reminder. it’s very comforting to wear when he regresses alone, because if he gets scared or spirals he can hold the pendant and know he’s not alone, that his cg will help hhim.