Tumgik
#gonna text them because i also have paranoia really bad
maudiemoods · 9 months
Text
Ok not cool why am I hearing voices
54 notes · View notes
greenerteacups · 3 months
Note
also just read your favorite weasley post and !! love that Ron is your favorite he gets so much bashing in dramione works im like grrggr he’s not so horrible omg! he has his shortcomings but if you’re literally diving deep into draco as a character who in canon is overtly an ass then why are we destroying Ron’s character to justify the dramione relationship TT poor story building imo, but to each their own!
love your work, excited for what’s to come!!
I think Ron would've had better reception in the D/H fandom if — I mean, for one, if he wasn't a major obstacle to their ship going canon, which is like, not his fault, but also means he's never gonna be the most popular dude on the block — but also if the later books hadn't done him a bit dirty. Without even getting into how their characters change, Hermione becomes a lot more likable in later books when her enduring flaws of bossiness, paranoia, and know-it-all-ing become incredibly useful and appropriate in a literal war. Ron, in contrast, starts as an almost idealized "hero's best friend" archetype, friendly and witty and loyal, and then gets his flaws uncovered slowly. Whereas Hermione wears her faults on her sleeve from day one, Ron's self-esteem issues and empathy problems emerge realistically over time as the plot brings them to the fore. But because JKR doesn't conclude emotional arcs, he doesn't get an actual moment to overcome those flaws and triumph, restoring audience faith and making himself more likable by having overcome struggle.
Draco canonically exists to be a bully and antagonist. The stories are not terribly interested in him beyond that role. But there's something honest about that, since the reader never feels like the text expects you to like him. Draco is awful and owns it. He's narcissistic, cruel, and mean from the first interaction, so he has nowhere to go but up. If you like him, you like him because (probably) you're interested in where he could go in the future or in alternate universes, and how he could overcome his faults (making him extremely likable, because we love characters who struggle and win). He's not a three-dimensional character so much as he is the possibility of a three-dimensional character, and all that potential is really easy to like. Meanwhile, Ron is a three-dimensional character, full-stop. He fucks up sometimes, but in general, the text wants you to like him — problem being, the text doesn't always know how to make that happen, and sometimes it fails. Which can be doubly annoying, because then you feel like you're watching a character getting rewarded for bad behavior.
Now, me? I'm a consistent bitch. Blond or ginger, I'm equal-opportunity: give me a witty asshole with empathy problems and a fanatical devotion to the people they love, I'm locked in. I like Ron and Draco for a lot of the same reasons. I think they're very similar in a lot of ways that get overlooked. And if you ship Draco/Hermione, that should be great news, because you might suppose Hermione has a type.
55 notes · View notes
Text
Paranoia
(Bowser Jr runs around an abandoned room in the mansion, frantically shutting the blinds on every window in the room before setting up barriers facing the door and ducking behind one, brandishing a loaded super soaker)
Bowser Jr: You wanna get me so bad... You ain't gonna get me without a fight... (glare at a picture of an angry looking-Meggy labelled "PRIORITY OFFENSE") You psychotic little orange--
Blue: Junior? What are you doing in here?
(Junior shrieks and turns his soaker on Blue. On cue, a massive amount of water-based artillery pops out of various hiding spots and turns on Blue)
Blue: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! DON'T SHOOT!
Bowser Jr: STATE YOUR BUSINESS OR GET SPLATTED!
Blue: I hide some of my weapons in here, and I came to get them! That's all!
Bowser Jr: …Oh, that's what those were doing in here. Sorry, dude, but I took those apart to make these water cannons.
Blue: And you need those... why?
Bowser Jr: I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU! In fact, I should probably blast you just for knowing about my bunker! You are, after all, one of my adversary's closest acquaintances, as you can see here! (he shows Blue a list of Meggy's closest friends and family. Sure enough, Blue's name is on the list, right after Ness and Futaba)
Blue: …Why is Ashley's name on this list? They hate each other.
Bowser Jr: Yeah, but I'm about sixty percent sure that they have some sort of platonic tsundere thing going on, and I can't be too safe right now.
Blue: What, why? What did you do?
Bowser Jr: I DIDN'T DO A THING (this time)!!! I have simply fallen victim to your species and their pathological hatred of losing!
Blue: So you beat Meggy in Smash and she threatened you?
Bowser Jr: Oh, she was all smiles after the match. But then I start seeing her following me around! Everywhere I go, she just happens to be there as well! COINCIDENCE?!?! I THINK NOT!!!!!!
Meggy: (suddenly appearing behind Blue) What's not a coincidence?
(Junior screams and activates his water cannons... only for all of them to fall apart)
Bowser Jr: Huh. In hindsight, maybe building a bunch of water cannons under extreme stress wasn't my best idea. (he sees Meggy approaching him and sighs in defeat) Alright, Meggy. You win. Whatever you want to do to me, just get it over with.
Meggy: …Okay. (Junior winces in anticipation as she reaches into her pocket and pulls out... a phone with Bowser's logo on it) Here. You dropped your phone during our match the other day.
Bowser Jr: …You were following me around so you could return my phone?
Meggy: Uh... yeah?
Bowser Jr: D: (faints)
Meggy: What's his problem?
Blue: He thought you were trying to get revenge for beating him in Smash.
Meggy: … (flashes a wicked grin) I already got revenge.
Blue: …Say what now?
Meggy: Look around. He drove himself insane with paranoia because he thought I was gonna get him. That's why I held off on giving his phone back.
Blue: Meggy... you are evil.
Meggy: I also sent some embarrassing texts to his dad complaining about bladder problems. He should really put a password on his phone.
53 notes · View notes
bye-bye-firefly · 8 months
Note
So I finished House of Leaves! It was weird. Like an Experience. I think I’m gonna reread it sometime, it feels like a good rereading book. The formatting was really cool. I really liked it when the pages would go like all over the place. Or when there would only be like a few sentences or something on the pages.
The part where the words like get all cramped and then just get even more cramped like the little passageway Navidson is climbing through was so much fun! And like I loved it when the book would make you start turning the book around to read the words. Like it made such a cool atmosphere?? And during that section where it lists a bunch of buildings and names and then they go away but the section with materials is still there but then that goes black and there’s just this empty space??? It kept making such an awesome atmospheree, soooo cooolllll!!
Also, while reading the building list I discovered that there’s this building called House House, I thought that was silly, it made me giggle. And the highlighted text! The House is always popping out at youu. The house is blue and blue is the house! And the Minotaur is red! Very fun. And the little checkmark that’s in the corner of that pageee. That is such an awesome detail! The mom’s letters were very rhghhhg, I really just wanted to give her a cookie or a hug or something.
(That last letter took a really long time to decode. I know I have no one but myself to blame since someone has probably posted it online and I didn’t need to decode it but like, the relief when it was over).
I also felt pretty bad for Johnny, like, I wasn’t a fan of his personality but his life sucked really hard and then the way he just spiraled was so horrifying. The sections that were just his monologuing were so shivery, the paranoia and the self-isolation and the Fear mmhjkhfhj.
I also really liked the Navidson Record stuff! The house was very creepy! It reminded me of the houses in Nameless. The darkness descriptions were very and the way the hallways would just bend and disappear but the way they talked about it made it sound like such a place. 10/10 stars on airbnb
(Sorry about how awkward the spaces between sections probably are, I had originally just written everything as one big wall of text and then I was like “I should probably break this up”)
THIS IS SO FUCKING REAL!!!! i love showing people the book or recommending it and then of course the first thing you get to hear about is. Thumper. and. Well. Johnny's. Deal. but i feel the same way about him like hes not a good guy to hang around and i would hate to have to hang out with him but man. his upbringing was fuckin rough. but of course the highlight of the entire story is being able to dive into the houses and the analysis that zampano provides in his essay. but also like i need a book that fucks with you typographically. i need MORE of this you know the way it spirals around the way the words are highlighted or crossed out or bolded the way it forces you to read faster and faster as you flip the pages and it makes you BREATHE faster like the corridor becomes more cramped as time goes on until there is just ONE WORD to each page and you are flipping BANG BANG BANG ITS BEAUTIFUL!!!! I need to be fucked with. Typographically
im really glad you liked it because this is like one of my favourite books of all time. i think the order goes like. the stand by stephen king -> house of leaves by mark z danielewski -> sorrow and bliss by meg mason if i am to just give my top 3. and then after that it gets harder to sort all of them. if it weren't for house of leaves AND JACOB GELLER A LOT JACOB GELLER then i dont think nameless would've ever been published. we would've gotten a murder mystery fic like it was meant to be and idk if i would have as much fun with that but im sure i would figure out a way. i always do
2 notes · View notes
blujayonthewing · 1 year
Note
Previous anon here! I totally understand what you mean i have the same issue with my own ocs. So can I ask who's your oldesr oc (you've had the longest) and who's your favorite and why? :3c I wanna hear about them but it's hard to think of specific questions! Sidenote, you inspired me to start reblogging things as inspo for my own ocs!
OH I feel you, I'm the exact same way about not knowing what to specifically ask about other people's OCs lmao it's so hard to think of good questions!
My oldest (current) OC is my ranger, Elyss!! I've been playing her for coming up on EIGHT YEARS, which is admittedly not actually as much as it sounds because the run schedules for all the campaigns I'm in tend to be pretty sparse, ahaha :') She is also still my favorite, my beloved girl... 🥺💕 That's at least partly because I've been playing her for so long and for awhile she was my only dnd character, so I've had a lot of opportunity to think about her and play her and get to know her as a character.
She's a water genasi who was born and raised in a land where genasi are essentially unheard of, so she's spent most of her life fairly rejected and lonely. She ended up (voluntarily) living alone in the woods for something close to ten years, and she has a very nature-inspired True Neutral philosophy, so when we started the campaign with the premise of 'an established group of adventures trying to stop A Bad Guy from Taking Over The World' I had to figure out why she would care about that, and one of the answers was 'well... she loves her friends,' which has informed SO much about everything about her ever since. On a practical level, it means I get to engage with the game even if Elyss wouldn't necessarily want to (eg if the paladin wants to do a dangerous stupid thing to save some villagers, I want to go with him to help keep him safe), but it's also made her really interesting and really emotionally rewarding to roleplay with. I'm fortunate in that all my fellow players in her campaign are amazing AND Elyss has meaningful relationships with most of their characters, so I've been able to explore her navigating those relationships and her own feelings... at the beginning of the campaign, she felt really strongly that her love for her companions was completely one-sided, so had a lot of Issues about needing to be unambiguously useful and never a liability to avoid rejection and losing her right to be a part of the group. Unfortunately the circumstances of this campaign have given her... really severe trust issues to the point of sometimes paralyzing paranoia, BUT she DOES now believe that (most of) her close friends actually care about her in return, so, that's something :') I guess tl;dr without explaining the entire campaign and her entire personal development, she just has a lot of complex feelings and life circumstances that are not only interesting to play and think about but that also just... make me wish for the best for her. She's had a really hard time, so it fills me with joy whenever she gets a little reprieve, I'm overwhelmed on her behalf when things are inevitably really bad for her again, and I'm deeply invested in her path toward hope and growth and a happier, more stable future 🥺💕
All that said, I've gotten to play her a lot less lately, and while she's still my favorite, the margin isn't as wide as it used to be, lol. But I dunno if I could put a finger on the definitive second favorite? It depends on who I've played and/or have been obsessing over the most recently I think, lol. Right at this second that feels like a tossup between Juniper, my druid, and Melliwyk, my wizard; I'm not gonna do another wall of text for each of them for this ask BUT-- June is basically the character archetype I have the softest spot for (sweetheart, awkward, big ol nerd) and I wanna kiss her and give her soup, and Mel is a DIFFERENT archetype I tend to be drawn to (mad science type friendly little wierdo) but she has also developed depth that I wasn't expecting and now I have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about HER as well. Also, June gives me a good outlet for a lot of soft tenderness, Mel is a good outlet for me in real life being a big fuckin nerd, and Elyss is my single best outlet for just. really loving to be really good at DPS when I'm playing a game kjhkdfhjd
2 notes · View notes
trans-p03g · 2 years
Note
Both. I just love the dummies of the cule.
Gonna post general in a but, for now here's some Lost Souls polycule bits:
Back in the game, they'd meet up regularly, usually at Leshy's cabin because while some people didn't like it much (coughcough P03 coughcough) it was pretty remote and provided some privacy. They'd either just hang out in each other's company, play games or cuddle in a pile. Sometimes they'd meet at Grimora's place for tea or meet up at Magnificus' tower for an "art lesson" (they were all bad at it but eventually grew to enjoy it, and they also all made small artistic gifts for Mags that one time). Or go for a walk at the beach or a picnic with Luke's insistence. It took some time to get used to this new, sappy routine, they really had no experience in dating (that they could remember) so it was a bit awkward, but ultimately they enjoyed each other's company quite a bit.
Luke was, and still is, quite a cuddlebug. If there's a cuddle pile, he's most likely to be in the middle, both thanks to this and his general small frame (he's easy to hold).
Mora and Mags are the first ones to leave to work in the morning, so generally, during the weekdays it isn't too common for them to not eat breakfast together, especially if the others had a hard day and wanted to sleep in, and the times they do eat together it's usually very short before Morana and Maggie have to go. Usually, when that happens, Lech wakes up before Poe and Luke and makes breakfast for the three of them (don't worry, he's gotten better since the meat pies). The exceptions are the weekends and any free days they have, where they wake up a little later than usual and all make breakfast together and then chat at the table. The other meals they of course eat together, and they usually switch who cooks and who dresses the table, but since Poe and Luke work from home they usually get started on the dinner before the others get home. While they eat their dinner at the table, they usually like to take their supper outside, either on the front or back porch and just enjoy the evening.
They have a big fucking bed, enough to fit 5 people and then some, yet despite this they all cram together into a pile. And despite having SO much room for themselves, Mora's cats somehow always find a way to lay on Luke's face.
Luke was lucky (ha) enough to be able to turn his hobby into a full-time job. Poe is also a moderator in his chat. If he's streaming while his partners are working they'd often use his streams as background noise, most commonly Poe because it also works from home and can afford to do it without its boss breathing down its neck, and Lech + his comrades do too if the workload isn't too hard. Either way, Luke's chat was...real fucking oblivious that he's dating the other 4. They thought for the longest time that they were just roommates. Luke figures it out when he mentions sharing a bed with them (some kind of ramble he went on about big beds while opening cards) and somebody in his chat said that it's weird that he's sharing a bed with his roommates, to which he sarcastically started making fun of that comment, only to realise that the majority of his chat didn't realise they were dating. Poe was laughing so hard, Luke could hear them from the first floor.
They go on morning jogs together. It was originally Lech's routine, but the paranoia after the incident made him close himself at home and he stopped going for morning runs for a long time, until Morana convinced him that they could go jogging together. Over time, it just became a morning routine for the entire polycule. Obviously, they can only go during weekends unless they want to wake up at an ungodly hour.
They have a chat that they frequently use to text each other. Lech likes nature and is quite knowledgeable about it, so the others started sending pictures of plants and animals they saw for Lech to identify. Poe also used to study microbiology before deciding it's not for them, but now they get to share stuff about it with their boyfriend who always listens intently. They told Lech about moss piglets and now it's his favourite animal.
Mora is the swollest of them all, but both Lech and Maggie are quite strong too. It's very handy whenever they go somewhere that's not wheelchair accessible, they can just pick up Poe up and bring them up ledges and stairs. The first time Grimora picked them up bridal style they got very flustered. Now they just sometimes jokingly swoon.
Luke is the token cis boy of their poly
10 notes · View notes
upsetlettuce · 1 year
Text
This shit is gonna get crazy
TW : Mentions of s*icide and lots of mental health problems such as depression, anxiety and hallucinations.
I needed to rant but I made the horrible realization that I have no friends so I guess the internet can get what I am about to put down.
I'm a 21 year old trans guy living in one of the ass end states in America. I live with my older sister, 26, and her partner also 26.
I am so tired of it all.
My sibling in law lost their job today and I don't know what about it broke me but it just did. The stress, the anxiety, it has all just become on big shit show and I don't know what to do. I want more than anything to talk about it, to cry on someone's shoulder and be comforted in a way I don't think I've ever really had. But I can't, my parents would never truly listen, my sister is part of the problem, I don't even know if my best friend likes me anymore and I don't feel I am close to any of my other friends to explain any of this to them. They are going through so much shit that I don't need to add to it.
I found myself in the shower, lights off with boxers on sobbing my eyes on. I used to do it all the time, a few years ago I almost did the same everyday. I used to think that was the worst time of myself but it just feels like it is spiraling.
I'm reenrolled in college after my first failure at it, I don't use the hair license I got because I failed at my first job, I have a trail of other jobs behind me because there was always something else and this is suppose to be my up road? "It will all get better from here." Is this my better, is this really what could be considered better?
It's not fair but nothing is ever fair really. Here I am, almost worst than I was those years ago, I suffer from hallucinations, I have paranoia, My anxiety has rooted a new way into my brain, my depression is crazy, I'm scared of my medication because what if it's poisoned? What if I'm lying to myself about this? What is it's all just a lie and I'm fine?
When I was there, I always had a thought. "If I almost died and was brought back, I would feel disappointed." For a few years I stopped thinking like that. I would fight back but I felt it again today. That gut wrenching pull from my voices. "Imagine how devastated you would be seeing the world again." I know it's wrong, I know it's unhealthy but the way it's burrowed into my head. It would be disappointing.
It's hard to see where I can go from here. I live in an unstable home and all other options are just as unstable. I am alone, so alone. I have no other trans friends, no one who understands what I feel on a daily basis, no one to call and just cry to and knowing they'll will listen, not try to solve the wound. I want someone who will comfort me, be there for me, listen to me, cry with me.
I want to open myself up to it but I am so bad at being a friend. I don't call, I don't text, I don't think beyond what I am doing in a moment. It's a two way street and I am so bad at taking care of my half but I want to try. I don't want to suffer in silence anymore, I don't want to do this alone anymore. I want someone to care.
Sorry if this was messy, I needed to write it out.
Thanks if you read, I'll be fine and am in a safe place.
1 note · View note
mariska · 2 years
Text
dude. idk how relatable this is as a Digitized Thought cus idk if its something other people see on tv as often as i do or if it doesnt air in other regions etc etc but as someone with graves disease that i've been struggling to maintain serious symptoms of for almost 10 years now alongside other co-morbid diseases and health problems. it is so ridiculously panic inducing to see those psa ads that air at least once per hour and a half some days/nights where it literally just says "if you have graves disease theres a FIFTY PERCENT CHANCE you're going to develop a horrible additional eye disease and your eyeballs are going to feel like sunburned lava for the rest of your miserable life!!! heres a bunch of dramatic slow-mo shots of people with your disease having super bloodshot eyes and exhausted expressions because they have the eye disease and you're probably gonna have it too so count your days!!! also google our site or whatever no we arent going to give you any actual helpful information in this ad we just wanted you to know how much this shit sucks lol. anyways bye"
like!?!?!? i know by life experience and the reactions of people around me over the years that i'm definitely not in the majority of popular opinions when it comes to any psa ads in general (i also struggle with serious panic inducing paranoia often that is almost always triggered by a fear or worry or bad possibility being presented to me without an immediate clear and understandable resolution to that problem) because i am very very afraid of like 90% of them but. it just feels extra cruel to do that on a platform where i as a viewer have so little control over whether or not that very real disease progression that probably will affect me sometime soon in my life is just thrown in my face when i'm trying to do anything with a tv on somewhere. i understand that information about under-researched diseases and auto-immune diseases and symptoms is vital for many people but the reason i understand that is because *i* am one of those people???? i have to think and worry and problem solve about these symptoms every minute of my life and i am not rich, i don't come from a rich family, most of my diseases began progressing into dangerous symptoms when i was a literal child before i had even turned 18 and there is no proper health care system in place in the country i do not have any resources or ability to leave probably ever. like. man. i'm just exhausted of having to see it all the time. with all the personal data the internet steals about me 24/7 you'd think i could maybe get a break from being reminded that i was born a bit too early to get all of the hypothetical treatment i'd need to live a long and fulfilling life with genetic diseases in between bumpers on comedy central at like 9 pm.
anyways. once again i know this is a niche thing to ramble about, apologies for the random block of text out of nowhere, i'm just so stressed about it because it just happened again a little while ago and the painful eye symptoms have always been one of the worst graves disease things i've had to just live with since i was a teenager. i woke up with weird severe pain on my eyeball this morning, not the lid or like a stye or pink eye, like as if someone strained my literal eyeball muscles somehow, and it came back really bad again right when that stupid ad popped up on tv before i took my night medications and it just felt like such a gut punch for no reason. now i'm all paranoid again that It's Happening and im at The Beginning Of The End Of Having Sight In Both Eyes and there was no reason for me to be sent into an anxiety spiral about it.
1 note · View note
wazzupmrstark · 3 years
Text
instead of you [part sixteen]
pairing: [best friend’s brother] tom holland x college!reader
summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.
warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, smut (18+) additional warnings under the cut
word count: 3.1k
series masterlist
smut warnings: female masturbation, porn, mentions of choking
“‘We’? Like, you and me?” you clarified, hoping you had misunderstood.
“Yeah, it’ll only take a second,” Tom assured you.
You looked to Sam for help, but he looked just as lost as you were. “I’ll go try and find a microwave to heat up your leftovers,” he offered and took the container back from you. “I’ll be right back, babe.”
“Okay...”
You watched him shrug past both you and Tom and then disappear into the hallway with a sinking feeling in your chest, knowing he trusted you completely. He had no reason not to, and that’s what consumed you. 
“What do you want?” you muttered, reluctantly stepping to the side to let Tom in. 
He didn’t answer right away, giving you a moment to collect yourself. His eyes followed you around the room as you found your pants and tugged them on. He averted his gaze when he realized you were getting dressed mumbling a “sorry” as he trained his eyes on the carpet. 
You sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain why he was there. 
“You weren’t there today,” was all he said. 
You blinked. “Yeah?”
“Was it because of me?”
“I wasn’t feeling well.”
Tom’s tongue poked at the inside of his cheek. “Is that all?”
“I had a lot to drink last night,” you reminded him. 
“So you don’t remember anything?”
“I never said that.”
“So it was because of me?”
“I never said that either.” You sighed. “If you’re here to ask me if I told him you kissed me, I didn’t. And you could’ve just texted me to ask.”
“No that’s not why- I don’t have your number anyway.”
“I’m in the trip group chat with your family.”
“Oh, right. I’ll save it to my contacts.”
The tension in the room was palpable. It felt like all of the air had been sucked out and replaced with thick, suffocating silence. Arbitrarily, you wondered who the most famous person in his phone was. He was a Marvel actor, he probably had Simu Liu’s number, right? Who would your contact information be sitting in between? Maybe if you ever forgave him for what he did you could ask him. 
“Is something funny?” The firmness of Tom’s voice cut through your train of thought and brought you back to the present. “Why are you smiling?”
“It doesn’t matter,” you said despondently. “Sam’s gonna be back soon. What did you want?”
“I just wanted to check up on you. Sam said you were sick.”
“Oh, so you wanted to see if I was lying?”
“No! God, why is it so hard to believe that I’m genuinely concerned about you?”
“Because last night you only seemed concerned about yourself.”
Tom pursed his lips and shoved his hands in his pockets, expelling a breath harshly. “Okay, I deserved that.”
You hummed in agreement, and let your eyes trail down the veins of his arms to where they disappeared into his pockets. It looked like he was fiddling with a coin or something small, but you couldn’t tell. 
“Are you feeling better?” he said the last part through gritted teeth.
“Yes, thank you. This chat has helped considerably.”
Tom rolled his eyes. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
“Well, lucky for you I’m not your problem to deal with. I'm Sam’s.”
He flexed his hand in his pocket and sighed. “Okay, well, I also wanted to apologize again for...” the word kiss seemed to die on his lips, poetic irony at its finest. “Being a dick.” Less poetic. 
He finally fished his hand out of his pocket, holding a delicate piece of paper between his pointer and index fingers. He shifted uncomfortably where he was leaning against the dresser. “We went to the Academic Gallery today. I saw this in the gift shop and thought of you.” He presented you with what turned out to be a postcard, creased down the middle unevenly and smudged with pen ink.
You turned it over to look at the front first, admiring the artwork printed on it. It was a picture of Michelangelo’s David drawn in swoopy black lines and filled in with watercolor paint. Instead of a museum, the statue was in the middle of a garden, the centerpiece among dozens upon dozens of flowers. 
 “Sorry it’s folded,” he mumbled. “It wouldn’t fit in my pocket.”
You flipped it over to read the back only to see iou scribbled in his handwriting and nothing else. You turned it over again to see if you had missed something on the front, but there was nothing.
You looked up at him in confusion. “Iou?” 
“Yeah, you know... I feel really bad about last night, and I don’t really know how to make it up to you so I’m letting you decide.”
“That’s not really how it works.”
“I think that this counts as an exception, since we’re kind of in uncharted territory.”
“Maybe for you. My boyfriend’s brothers make out with me all the time.”
“Fuck you, I didn’t make out with you- it was barely a peck.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “It was more than a peck.”
His cheeks were beginning to grow pink with what you couldn’t tell was either embarrassment or frustration. He cleared his throat awkwardly and changed the subject. “Anyway, if you ever need a favor or anything, just let me know. Think of it as me owing you one.”
“And do I have to give back the postcard when I cash in this ‘favor’?” you asked.
“No, you can keep it.”
“Good, because I was going to keep it anyway.”
He chuckled in spite of himself and shook his head. “Knew you’d like it.”
You flattened the card on your lap, smiling as you tried to iron out the little crease with your fingers. 
“It’s pretty, thank you.”
Tom nodded in acknowledgement and straightened his posture. “I should get going. I just wanted to give you that, and see how you were doing since tomorrow’s a travel day and I know you get a little motion sick sometimes. I didn’t want... whatever you’d come down with to make it worse.”
How did he know that? Had Sam told him? You didn’t have time to ask because he was already walking towards the door. He paused when he reached it and turned his head towards you, hand already on the knob. 
“Good night, y/n.”
“Good night, Tom.”
  He opened the door and let himself out into the hallway, catching it suddenly on his foot as he saw Sam coming off the elevator. Tom held the door for Sam, since his hands were full, and then said goodnight to his brother as he finally left.
“Sorry, I couldn’t find the microwave,” he explained. “I had to ask the night manager and they heated it up in the break room for me.”
“Oh, Sam, you didn’t have to do that! I would’ve eaten it cold.”
“I know you would have, and that’s why I’m not letting you.” You gave him a look, which he ignored and handed you the container of food. “It’s carbonara, it’s one of the things Rome is known for. I couldn’t have you eating it lukewarm.” 
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He ran a hand through his hair and took a seat next to you on the edge of the bed, pulling the ottoman closer to use it as a makeshift table. He watched as you tried the first bite, gauging your reaction. It was something he did whenever he cooked for you, especially if he was trying out a new recipe. He always needed your approval, and valued it above anybody else’s. But he hadn’t even made this, and as his eyes searched your face you found yourself wondering if they were looking for something else. 
“Do you like it?” 
You breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Your paranoia was starting to get the better of you. “It’s delicious,” you assured him. “I’m sad I missed dinner.”
“I’m sad you missed the whole day. Spending time with my family without you was hell.”
“Oh come on, it’s probably good that you got some real family time.”
“It’s real family time when you’re there. It felt like something was missing.” 
You let a small smile slip past your lips despite the guilt that bubbled under the surface. You pushed it down and took another bite of the carbonara. 
“You’re not just saying that to make me feel better, are you? It can’t have all been bad. Tell me about the good stuff. I wanna hear that.”
Sam nodded and pushed his curls back again, grinning like he’d been caught. “Fine, maybe there were some okay moments.”
“And what were they?”
“We went to the Accademia Gallery today. I think you would have really liked it. They had a whole wing of instruments from some of the most famous inventors and musicians from history. They even had pianos from Bartolomeo Cristorfori, the inventor of the piano.”
“Wow,” you said, impressed. “I bet it was beautiful.”
“Of course if it was played, it wouldn’t sound anything like the piano we’re used to hearing today, but I’m sure it would still sound incredible.”
“Even if it hasn’t been tuned in a few hundred years?”
It was his turn to give you a look. “Yes, of course.”
“Sorry.”
“And they had a Strativerius, I don’t even want to know how valuable that thing is. It must cost millions. I took some pictures for you, but I know they won’t compare to the real thing. The lighting in museums never does the art justice.”
He handed his phone to you to scroll through. You swiped the photos, smiling whenever you came across a selfie he’d taken with a statue or painting. You reached the pictures of David and couldn’t help but zoom in on-
“Hey!” Sam yelped and grabbed his phone back from your hands.
“What!”
“Michelangelo would be so ashamed of you! I bet he’s rolling in his grave right now.”
“No way! If anyone appreciated good dick, it was Michelangelo.” 
“Unbelievable.” 
“If you don’t want me to judge these statue’s penises, don’t take pictures of them.”
“I didn’t take pictures of their penises! I took pictures of the whole statue- you’re zooming in on- you know what, nevermind. Arguing with you about this is pointless.”
“Smart boy.”
Sam rolled his eyes at you and put his phone in his back pocket. “Oh yeah, did Tom give you that postcard?”
“He told you about that?” you asked, suddenly panicking. Sam hadn’t said anything about last night so far, but maybe Tom had-
“Yeah, said he wanted to give you an iou for the limoncello last night.”
“What?”
“He said you paid the tab for it since he left his wallet in the room and that he wanted to pay you back for it.”
“Oh. Right.”
Another lie. You had very much not paid for the drinks last night. Tom had. And you knew he had to make an excuse for why he was buying his brother’s girlfriend something from the gift shop, but to add another lie to the ever-growing list made your throat burn with regret. You wouldn’t be able to keep the secret forever, and it was only a matter of time before everything came crashing down around you. 
-
In the morning you took the train from Rome to Naples, and then took a taxi to Sorrento to spend the last bit of your week in Italy by the sea. The atmosphere was much more relaxed than it had been in the busy cities of Rome and Florence. Even though there were still hordes of tourists, they were far more dispersed and less overbearing than you expected. The whole town seemed slowed down, like it had escaped the chokehold of time. 
Sam’s parents took everyone out to lunch by the water and went over the schedule for the next day and a half. 
“So, you’re on your own after dinner tonight, and then tomorrow morning we’re going to take the ferry to Capri for the day before our flight that night,” Nikki explained as she read through the spreadsheet on her phone. 
“There’s an Irish pub down the street from our hotel,” Harry said. “Do you guys want to go after we eat tonight?”
“I’m down,” Sam agreed. 
“Sounds good,” Tom chimed in.
The boys all looked at you for your answer, but you hesitated. Thinking about what happened the last time you drank didn’t make you eager to do it again, and you were already exhausted from travelling.
“I’ll pass.”
“What? Why?” Sam asked, sticking out his bottom lip in a pout.
You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder with a sigh. “I’m tired, and I’d rather go somewhere Italian... since we’re in Italy.”
Harry shrugged. “Your loss.”
“We’ll have a shot in your honor, babe,” Sam said and pressed a kiss to your temple. 
“Please don’t. Something tells me you’ll have plenty to drink without an extra shot for me.”
“You know us so well.”
After dinner, you walked back to the hotel with the Hollands and said good night to Sam’s parents before parting ways to your separate rooms. Sam went with you to change into clothes for going out while you changed into pajamas. 
“Are you sure you don’t want to go?”
You nodded from where you were on the bed and yawned. Sam didn’t push any further, instead resolving to finish getting ready in silence. He paired his black jeans with a pair of converse and a dark green button up over a black t-shirt. 
He turned to you for approval.
“Fake girlfriend approved?”
“Fake girlfriend approved,” you repeated and gave him a thumbs up. 
“Okay, well I’m headed out,” he announced. 
“Have fun! Don’t kiss any cute girls without me!” 
It was something you always said to each other, but it sounded strange since it was supposed to be coming from his girlfriend. Sam just chuckled and blew you a kiss as he let himself out. 
You heard him greet his brothers outside and then listened to their footsteps fade into the distance before pulling up an incognito window on your phone. It had been weeks since you’d been able to get off and it was killing you. The amount of stress this trip had given you only made it worse. You were wound so tight that you were sure you’d snap soon if you didn’t get some relief. 
And you thought that maybe if you rubbed one out it might help you forget about... the confusing feelings you had for your best friend’s brother. 
Seeing as you had the night to yourself, you figured you might as well take advantage of it. You copied a link from your notes app and pasted the url into the address bar. You didn’t feel like digging through your luggage to find your earbuds so you set the volume low enough for only you to hear. 
The video started playing and you let your hand wander from your side up to your neck, brushing your hand lightly across your collarbone. You traced the curve of your breasts with a finger before squeezing one of them gently, feeling your nipple harden under your palm. You only had one hand to use since the other was holding your phone, but you made do. 
The video was one of your favorites, one you found yourself watching at least once a week. It was one of the few videos of hetero couples you had favorited, and it started with the guy going down on the girl before fucking her...
You admired the muscles on the man’s back, watching intently as they flexed whenever he moved his head. The woman moaned, struggling to keep her legs open while he brought her closer and closer to orgasm. 
You let your hand travel down further until it was sitting at the waistband of your pajama shorts. You knew you had a while before Sam would be back, but you were too impatient to wait. You propped your phone up on a pillow next to you to free your other hand as you started to play with your clit. 
You pictured someone’s head in between your thighs, imagining them moaning against your pussy as they tasted you for the first time. 
The man was taking his pants off now and lining himself up with his partner’s pussy. You tried to follow along, putting yourself in the moment with the couple. You gathered your own wetness on two of your fingers to lubricate them and slid them inside yourself, sighing in relief. Your entire body tensed as it accommodated to the stretch and you gave yourself a few beats before moving your fingers. 
When you finally did, you felt yourself relax and sped up your pace so that it matched the actors on screen.
The angle the video was shot at hid the man’s face and you found yourself wondering what he looked like. If you squinted you could almost picture Tom- no. You tried to shake the thought from your mind, but it was already there. 
Closing your eyes didn’t help either. You just imagined Tom’s fingers sliding in and out of you instead of your own, imagined the veins on his arms becoming more pronounced as he tightened his grip on your thigh. 
“Fuck,” you cursed, knowing you should stop. 
You were too close to stop now, and the pleasure was clouding your judgement. Suddenly the man brought his hand up to the girl’s throat and began to choke her, sending her hurtling into her own orgasm. You moaned accidentally, thinking about Tom’s hand around your throat. You curled your fingers up so that you were hitting your g-spot and whimpered pathetically.
This was wrong. This was bad. Not only were you fantasizing about your best friend’s brother, but you were confusing yourself even further. 
You tried to fight it, at least that’s what you told yourself, but all you could hear were Tom’s moans echoing through the speaker. You pictured the way he’d look on top of you. His eyes would be so dark and he’d be smirking like the cocky asshole he was, chain hanging down in your face- just inviting you to take it into your mouth. It didn’t take long before you felt your orgasm begin to build. The video was still playing in the background, the man still chasing his own high and bringing his partner to her second orgasm, but you’d tuned it out by now. You came around your fingers thinking about Tom’s hips snapping into yours. 
You were fucked.
lmk what you think!! i always appreciate feedback
forever tags: @mischiefmanaged49 @bookingbee @cloverrover @captainbuckyy @perhaps-he-schnapped-blog @awkwardfangirl2014 @the-queen-procrastinator @tastingthestarz @sleepybesson @everythingbooknerd @sunshine96love @bitchymathematician @livingincompletesilence @melsbooktrash @swim-deep-or-die @fizzy828 @spider-slutt @theamuz @nedthegay @astroasethic @stuckonspidey @darlingtholland @sgtbookybarnes @tinyplanet-explorers @mildcockandballtorture @uglypastels @gennyld @devin-marie @r-wooooosh @hell-yeah-peter-parker @itssnowingandimstuckinside @relise-thefury @osteporosis @legendsofwholock @peterunderoos @fuckyeahhomerun @nobelwarriorheroes @delicately-important-trash @thwip-it-real-good @claryfray101 @softholand @tomhollandseverything @cool-ultra-nerd @jillanaholland @dinasaur36 @farfromhaz @hanlons-wp @moon-390 @parkerstylesperalta @httpchrisevans @screeching-student-unknown @almondholland @noisyzineeggsbandit @5sos-microwave @quackson-love @smilealways19 @quackeroos @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @wolvesofwinter @mukesnugget @mytonycinematicuniverse @itsjusttor @percysmcu @peterquillzsblog @lovewolfspirit @biebsmylife95 @a-disappointing-teen-author @justanotherusername80 @b-buckys @sunkisseddreamerr @hufflepuffprincess24 @princessxcryxbaby @tinyyoungblood @holyfrickfracks @amii-nyc @clara-licht @veryholland @captainamirica @ultrunning @cocoamoonmalfoy @nellbellzz-blog @bookfrog242 @honeymoonlover @nellabellaa @its-the-solar-system @spiitfiires @tomhollandfangirl1 @parkeromanoff @randomstufflol29 @pogueslandia @hollandswife @bunnyweasley23 @determined-overthinker @madz-holland @hi-yekaterina @rinaaa33 
send me an ask to be added/ removed from a taglist
390 notes · View notes
thefanficmonster · 4 years
Text
Unlucky
Part 2: ‘Lucky Me’
Corpse Husband x Reader
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: Fluff
Summary: Corpse decides to email back a person who has sent him quite a few creepy stories. She never seems to run out of scary encounters of both sorts: paranormal and stranger-danger. He gets suspicious that the stories are all made up so she can grab his attention, but he’s in for a surprise.
U/N - username
Requested: No
Corpse’s POV
I’m looking through my most recent emails from fans. They are all of scary encounters they’ve allegedly experienced. By now, I’ve read so many, it’s easy to decipher which are real and which are just made up nonsense. Some, I must admit, give me chills. Big props to the people who write those, especially if they are made up. If you can make someone’s skin crawl with your twisted, frightening imagination, you have one, for lack of a better term and in the most positive way, fucked up mind.
My cursor lands on the familiar username I see almost every other week. U/N. They have been sending stories consistently for about three years now. They, and I’m saying they cause you can never be sure who’s hiding behind the username, are either the most unlucky person to walk the planet or the one with most twisted imagination and story telling skills. I’ll admit, sometimes I narrate a story just because it’s well written. Believability is not the only thing I go by, I also reward creativity. And this person, U/N, has had their spot in many of my videos in the last three years. I’m honestly hoping they are made up, or at least some of them, because not only are there too many of them, but none of them fail to give me that eerie paranoia after I read them or the chills while I read them.
Once again, they have submitted a downright terrifying story. It would be a shame if I didn’t narrate it.
It would be a shame if I....
If I never actually meet them.
This many run-ins with people with malicious intent, always getting away by some miracle, what if they one day don’t make it out alive to tell it.
My heart sinks a little at the thought. I feel like I know this person, like we’ve known each other for three years now. They know the things the whole internet knows about me, and I, along with my regular watchers, know their stories. That’s by no means enough, now that I think about it.
My next action is really out of character for me. I decide to reach out to them. My fingers fly over the buttons on my keyboard too fast for my rational side to try and stop them. Deep down, I know I’m doing the rightest wrong thing I’ve ever done. My previously sunk heart is now in its assigned spot again, beating quickly.
You don’t know what you’re doing
I maybe don’t, but knowing isn’t what’s important right now. I just wanna do it.
~ Hey, this is probably, what, your twentieth story so far. I’m just curious, how many of these are made up? By the way, your stories are amazing and I’ll probably keep narrating them even if they aren’t real. They’re just that good.
I send the email before I can talk myself out of it. I get up from my chair immediately afterwards, putting as much distance between me and the computer as possible, silently promising myself I won’t be checking my mail every five minutes.
Y/N’s POV
I anxiously refresh and refresh my email inbox, waiting for the dreaded email back from my professor. Being halfway through the college experience, I know how tough this professor’s class is and how much I suck at it. I sent him my completed assignment last night, barely making the deadline mind you, so now I’m sweating hardcore, staring my computer screen down.
After refreshing for the millionth time, I’m met with a new email which makes my heart stop for a second or two, my stomach dropping. Then I take the time to read the sender’s name, the subject and the first sentence of the email, and all the previous changes in me reverse. My heartbeat picks up speed, going faster than a galloping horse and my stomach turns, making me feel the sensation everyone calls ‘butterflies’.
Nah, man. This shit ain’t real. It can’t be.
But then again, what if it is. What if I’m about to full-on ignore my favorite youtuber because of my paranoia. Well, it’s not exactly unsupported. My life has been a shit show of unfortunate event and situations I’ve literally had to claw my way out of in order to stay alive. Now, when something of the sort happens, it’s just another weekday. However, I still wanna share these encounters. Not only because they are proof of the dangers girls have to deal with on a daily basis, but they also get narrated by one of my favorite people ever. What more can a girl ask for?
~ Listen, I’m really not looking forward to getting catfished. Please leave me alone
It’s short, not sweet, and to the point. It’s easy to understand, and it clearly states that I’m not falling for it if it’s a scam, but if it’s real....someone call 911 cause I think I’ll faint.
~ I get it, you have trust issues. But that’s understandable. From the creepy guy messaging you on all your social media. To the stalker you had from you high school, or even that teacher that turned out to not be a teacher at all and just a pedo, I see where the lack of trust is coming from. But I assure you, they only thing I wanna do is chat.
The shock and happiness overwhelm me when the reply arrives not even ten minutes later. 
Holy shit, this is him.
I start typing and then erase the typed half-sentence at least three times before receiving another email from him. From Corpse Husband. Corpse freaking Husband. How the fuck am I supposed to compose myself enough to reply to him, let alone sound cool and leave a good impression.
My hand shakes as I click the newly received email.
~ You probably don’t know what to say. Either that or you just don’t wanna talk to me. If you’re just baffled and surprised, reply with your name. If you want me to fuck off, ignore this email completely.
The smile I didn’t realize was there grows into a grin as small bursts of laughter escape me. Laughter caused by disbelief and shock. The type of laugh you let out when you score a good mark on the test you thought you completely fucked up.
~ Y/N. My name’s Y/N. 
PS: The stories are all 100% real. All happened. In the order I sent them too. And before you ask, I guess I’m just unlucky, but you are proving me wrong right now.
I don’t know where that confidence at the end came from, but I don’t care really. All that matters is that this might just actually be happening and it might be the best thing to ever happen to me.
~ Man, you’ve had it rough. Tell me, is there an easier way to access you than email. Like Insta DMs? I feel we have a lot to talk about and email is not the most convenient.
At this point, it feel so much like a fever dream that I decide to treat it as though it is. I just go with the flow.
~ Yeah, but first.....am I really not being catfished right now?
The email I receive as a reply to this message is empty of text but there’s a file attached. Not gonna lie, I am a bit hesitant to open it, but I decide that if this turns bad, I’ll just have to deal with it. In the meantime, I’ll believe it’s not a scam.
It’s an audio file: “No, Y/N, you are not being catfished.”
That voice. That god damn voice. It could convince me of anything. 
And now it’s convinced me into believing him. And finally letting out that squeal I was holding back before sending him my Instagram username.
1K notes · View notes
avengerscompound · 3 years
Text
Moving On - Chapter 3
Tumblr media
Moving On: A Falcon & Captain Marvel Fanfic
Masterlist PREVIOUS //
Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Sam Wilson x F!Reader, Carol Danvers x F! Reader
Word Count:  2003
Rating:  E
Warnings:  just a little canon complaint drama this chapter
Synopsis:  You thought Sam Wilson was the love of your life.  You had planned to do it all with him - marriage, kids, see the world.  Even when you’re life gets turned upside down, and you both end up international fugitives, he’s there by your side.
Then Thanos comes.
When Sam is one of the many turned to dust, leaving you alone and pregnant, you don’t think you’ll ever stop grieving.  Yet, everyone tells you that Sam would want you to move on and live your life - that he’d want you to be happy. Gradually you open your heart up to another.  Carol Danvers has lost people too.  First her daughter, then her wife.  As the two of you lean on each other, feelings grow and you move on together.
So what happens when Sam is returned to you?
Tumblr media
Chapter 3: The Accords
When Sam had left on his mission to Lagos, you had been worried but not in a major way.  You had thought maybe he might come home bruised up or with a cracked rib.  The last thing you had expected was for a lapse in attention would allow Rumlow to detonate a block leveling amount of C-4, and that when Wanda had tried to contain it and it had taken out a floor of a building instead, she’d get the blame.
Still, while that was bad, it wasn’t something that you had thought would directly affect you.  It might mean there was some argument with governments about Wanda being in the custody of the Avengers and how training should be done to prevent things like that from happening again.  You were fairly sure the insurance policy the Avengers held for such things was going to be hit hard.  But for you and Sam - life and love and wedding plans wouldn’t have been affected.
And then Tony Stark had shown up with General Thaddeus Ross.
Ross had dropped a bomb into the compound and run.  Not a literal bomb, but one that had the potential to be just as damaging.  The Sokovia accords had been dropped off - a document stating that any enhanced individual would have to register themselves with their country's government and the UN and provide them with biometrics as a way to keep tabs on them.  Along with that, anyone working for facilities such as SHIELD, SWORD, or the Avengers as operatives, and any of these enhanced individuals were unable to act on matters of security without the go-ahead from their countries government or the UN.
While that didn’t change too much for you, according to the document, Sam’s wings counted as enhancements.  Steve Rogers and Wanda Maximoff were also both enhanced and would need to provide DNA to the government.   Wanda would be registered as a weapon of mass destruction.
It meant you and Sam had to decide what you wanted to do.  You knew there was no way Sam would sign.  He had already left the airforce, he wasn’t going back to working for the government again so soon.  Especially not with the added condition of registering humans with them.  You also knew he was unlikely to stop fighting - it just wasn’t in his nature.
Unfortunately, you didn’t have a chance to even talk about it before Sam was out the door again.
“Look,” Sam said as he got his best suit out of the closet.  “This is a big deal.  It kinda changes everything for us.  So maybe decide what you really want to do and what you’re okay with?  I mean… worst case scenario I could end up an international war criminal.”
“How likely is that though?”  You asked as you watched him zip the suit into a suit bag.
“I doubt it’s very likely but you gotta consider it, babe,” he said.  “I love you.  I want a life with you, but I don’t want you to end up resenting me because we end up on the run from the law together or something.”
“Right,” you said with a nod.  “You wouldn’t consider… I dunno… retiring?”
“Of course,” Sam said, moving on to the underwear drawer.  “And if these things go through and they make me sign, that’s what I’m gonna say I’m doing.  But you know me, I’m never gonna take some back seat when a big bad goes down.”
“No, I know,” you said.  “Me too.  You sure you don’t want me to come to this?”
Sam shook his head.  “This is Steve’s thing,” he said.  “I didn’t even know Peggy.  I’m gonna be there for him.  I’ll be back in a couple of days.  You think while I’m gone.”
“You know I’m just going to do whatever you do,” you said.  “Right?  I mean, the whole premise sounds a little -” you paused and rocked your hand back and forth “- the whole ‘registering people for being different’ thing?  And then to muzzle them and treat them as dangerous weapons.  It’s fucked up.  And besides.  You’re my man.  Where you go, I go.”
He smiled and came over and kissed your forehead.  “I’m your man, huh?”
“Mm-hmm… my fine man,” you hummed.
He laughed and touched the tip of your nose with his finger.  “Stop trying to distract me, woman.  I’ve got a funeral to go to.”
“Alright, alright,” you said, zipping up his bag.  “You’ll call me when you get there?”
He kissed your forehead again.  “Of course.”
You grabbed his t-shirt before he could pull away and dragged him down into a deep kiss.  He hummed softly and caressed your jaw, before pulling back and grabbing his bag.  “You think on it.  Okay?  No rash decisions.”
You agreed you would and watched him leave, not realizing how this was the point where everything would change.
Tumblr media
You had been watching the news in your room when the word about the attack on the UN at the Vienna International Centre.  It hadn’t taken you long to realize if the number one suspect was James Barnes that Steve would be quick to take after him.  Sam had been on the trail of the infamous Winter Soldier since the day you’d met him, there was no way that Steve would let anyone else bring him in.
You also knew that if Steve went, Sam would likely go too.  Not because Sam was Steve’s shadow, but because they both had their moral compasses so inline that they ended up having the same thoughts at the same time.
Which would mean they were breaking international law and that unlikely scenario where they would become fugitives was a little more likely than you thought.
You needed to contact him, but you knew it was dangerous.  You sent him a text.  The two of you had gotten into the habit of sending large groups of emojis with little messages hidden inside.  Most of the time they were for no reason.  There would be a string of eggplants and peaches and then a random egg and milk carton to let the other person know you needed eggs and milk.  It was a habit that was built out of the paranoia you had drilled into you as a spy.  If something happened and you need to message each other covertly, seeing a string of random emojis would at a passing glance just look like the cute-coupley thing you both always did.  It wouldn’t withstand any deep probing, but it would be enough to let each other know that one of you was in trouble or to go grab the burner phone and run.
You texted Sam a string of hearts in kiss emojis with an American flag, a bird, a jogging emoji, and a snowflake mixed in.
He texted back a similar string with a thumbs up in the mix.
You replied with the more sexual emojis, eggplants, peaches, the droplets, the tongue, and among them was the girl with the hand raised in the air.
Sam replied with the same only instead of the girl was a thumbs down.
Yes, they were going after James Barnes.  No, he didn’t want you to come.
You didn’t hear from Sam again for two days.  Two days that only seemed to make matters worse.
Steve had indeed tracked down Barnes, but so had just about everyone else.  It ended with a car chase through the streets of Romania where Steve, Sam, Barnes, and weirdly the new king of Wakanda had been arrested by Rhodey of all people.
Sam called you when they had been taken back to Germany.
“I know you’re antsy, baby,” Sam said.  “But you need to stay put.  Right now they’ve confiscated my wings and Cap’s shield, but we think we’ll be let go.  We went after Barnes.  He’s captured.  That’s it.  Slap on the wrist, don’t do it again, type of bullshit.  Worse comes to worst… well, it’s not the first time they’ve tried taking my wings off me, is it?”
“Sam!”  You yelped.  “This line…”
“I’m joking!  I’m joking!”  Sam said, holding his hands up in front of the screen.  You knew he wasn’t.
“Anyway…” Sam continued.  “I think Tony’s trying to talk Steve into signing the accords.  I dunno if he will or not.  Maybe just to keep the peace.  But there’s no way I’m going to.”
“I want to be there with you,” you pouted.  “I could help.”
“It’ll just make things messy,” Sam said.  “Trust me.  You’re better off there.  It’s not like I can get in any more trouble now Barnes is captured.”
He was wrong.
The next you heard Barnes had broken out and Sam and Steve had taken after him.  You received a text not long after the news broke with a series of hearts and a cellphone emoji.
You went to your closet, grabbed the burner phone, and went out for a run.  You were just leaving the perimeter of the compound when the burner rang.
“Sam?”  You said, pressing the phone to your ear.
“Yeah, baby,” Sam said.  “It’s me.  Did you hear?”
“They’re saying you’re on the run with Barnes,” you said. “Please tell me you were just recapturing him.”
Sam laughed.  “That was the idea,” he said.  “This shit is going deep and we need help.  There’s this guy - wanted to get to Barnes to find out about some other Super Soldiers and where they’re kept.  So now we might have a bunch of really psychotic super soldiers being released on the world by someone even more psychotic than they are.”
“Where are you?  What do you need me to do?”  You asked.
“I’m tempted to tell you to stay put,” Sam said.
“Sam, I’m not…”
“No, I know,” he said.  “But think about it.  You do this - you come after me and we’re fugitives.  We can’t go home.  All this talk of weddings and babies?  It’s not happening.  It’ll be you and me on the run from everywhere.  Best we can hope for is one day when we’re both too old to run we settle in some country that doesn’t extradite.”
“I heard Montenegro didn’t sign,” you half-joke.  “It looks pretty nice there.”
Sam laughed.  “See I was thinking Cape Verde.”
You let out a breath and smiled a little.  “Always thinking, you are.”
“You know it, baby,” Sam said.  “Now, Clint’s coming…”
“What?  But his family?”  You yelped.
“I know… but like you, you can’t tell him no,” Sam said.  “He’s going to grab Wanda.  When you get back, go to her, but say nothing.  Just a little girl’s bonding time.  Okay?  I’m sure Vizh will be hanging around her.  He always is.  Don’t leave her side even if they do make it clear that you’re third-wheeling.”
“Should I pack?”  You asked.
“No,” Sam said quickly.  “I’m even a little worried you grabbing the burner might be too much of a giveaway to what’s going on.”
“I did it while I changed into my jogging gear,” you said.  “Nabbed it with my heart rate monitor.”
“Good.  Well hopefully that covered that gorgeous ass of yours,” he said.  “But aside from deciding you want to hang with Wanda you’re not doing anything strange, okay?  Clint will get there and you go.  Tony’s an asshole, but not that big of an asshole, I don’t think he’d burn our things, so we’re gonna have to trust that the compound will act as our storage until this is sorted out.  If it ever is.”
“Okay,” you said with a sigh.
“I love you,” Sam said softly.  “You take care of yourself.”
“You too, Sammy,” you said.  “Don’t do anything dumber than you already have until I get there and can join in.”
Sam laughed.  “You got it.  I’ll see you soon.”
“Yeah.  See you.”
You disconnected the call and shoved it back behind your heart rate monitor and turned to run back to the compound.  You had a fight to prepare for.
Tumblr media
//  NEXT
90 notes · View notes
lunarianillusion · 3 years
Text
A change in fate
a maribat fanfic
Chapter 02
Along with the changes to her room, Marinette had also changed her wardrobe. She now wore a cropped baby blue hoodie over a grey-purple shirt, that matched her leggings. Over her leggings she wore a high waisted demin coloured skirt with matching heeled ankle boots. A new larger purse, more a satchel really, hung from her shoulder. It allowed her to carry her sketchbook and other tools more easily. Her hair now mostly hung lose over her shoulders with two braids coming from the sides and connecting at the back of her head.
Once she was ready Marinette walked at an easy pace to the agreed meeting spot. Duusu Had taken to hiding within her hood, so that they could drink in all of the sights. Being both not used for a hundred or so years and being broken, made this a real treat for the little peafowl. Marinette could practically feel the little god vibrating with joy, to be outside in the world again. 
The sun was shining through the clouds and a soft breeze made the early autumn leaves rustle in the trees, as the two reached the park. Marinette could already spot the red-haired omega sitting on a bench close to the pond in the shade of a willow tree. He was fidgeting with a pencil and his sketch book lay on his lap. His posture looked tense.
By the look of it he too had a wardrobe change. Marinette was gonna bet that Marc had helped with the ensemble. Those two were inseparable. He wore a white long-sleeved turtleneck shirt with grey stripes on his chest. Faded navy pants and a jacked tied around his waist. A black and white backpack with rainbow details sat beside him.
“Hey, Nathaniel,” Marinette called out, gaining said boy’s attention as she neared.
“Hey, Marinette,” Nathaniel greeted, his shoulders losing the smallest amount of tension. “Glad you could come. I hope you weren’t too busy.”
“Circumstances made it so that I had nothing scheduled today. But I do hope you were not lying about it being important. Otherwise I will send the Fury’s of art upon thee,” The blue-eyed girl exclaimed in a posh voice. Marinette hoped that it would lighten some of the tension that was flowing through the air and it seemed to work. There was no need for an Akuma today.
“Oh, I beg mercy of thee. Do not condemn me to such a fate, for I would not dare to break my vow,” Nathaniel exclaimed in kind, placing his hand on his heart. It made both of the omegas chuckle and the hidden kwami purr softly.
“So, what is it you wanted to talk about?” Marinette asked, as nonchalant as possible. As she sat down on the bench and pulled out a thermos from her satchel. Which held the gods elixir, coffee. “It sounded quite urgent from your text.”
“Yeah, it is,” Nathaniel said sheepishly, scratching his neck. “But it is not an easy subject to start a conversation with. Or to talk about in general, I believe. So, let me first ask you how you are feeling. I know you have probably had this question asked to many times already. But I know what it is like to be akumatized and of the nightmares that follow so don’t try to say that all is just hunky-dory great.”
Marinette hummed at his words, raising an amused eyebrow at the last bit. Before turning her gaze away from the redhead. Her sharp eyes scanning the surroundings for any uninvited guests. While she knew Nathaniel would keep to his word the scent anxiety kept her slightly on edge. Paranoia had settled deep into her over the past few years. Only the little hidden kwami’s presence was what kept her calm. For Duusu would inform her if someone with bad intentions was to come close.
After a moment of thought Marinette answered. “I was a bit shaken after the whole event, who wouldn’t? All considered though, I think I am doing pretty good.”
After the whole reveal of her being a true soul, Duusu had helped sort out her emotions. They had given her a few suggestions on how to more healthily coupe with the more negative ones. Who knew writing your problems down on a slip of paper and then watching it burn could be so therapeutic.
She turned her gaze back to Nathaniel. “As for the subject of our meeting. Just be blunt about and we will go from there. Keeping it bottled up and it will only stress you out over time and I really don’t wanna deal with an akuma right now,” She accentuated the last part of her statement.
“Yeah, that would really kill the mood wouldn’t it,” Nathaniel sighed. He took a small breath to collect his courage as Marinette took another sip of her coffee. Then Nathaniel bluntly stated: “I know that you are the original ladybug.”
Cue spit-take from Marinette. Mental panic has reached its peak! Abort!! ABORT!!!
“Uhm…I don’t know wha-”
“Don’t even try Marinette. The amount of times I saw ladybug land on your balcony only for you to leave through the front door and vice versa. Was a big enough give away. After that your physiques just matched up,” Nathaniel boldly interrupted. Leaving Marinette in a stunned wide-eyed stare. “Hey, I might not be a fashion designer, but I am an artist and have an eye for these details just like you.” He said quickly with a small stutter. Since he was feeling a little unnerved at her wide-eyed stare. It was as if she was staring into his soul.
“How long have you known?” The female omega asked tentively, her scent spiked with anxiety. Her body language screamed that she was ready to bolt.
“For maybe seven months now,” Nathaniel replied carefully.
“Did you tell anyone?” Marinette asked further, the tension not leaving her.
“I told no one, not even Marc. I know of the importance and reasons behind a hero’s secret identity,” Nathaniel told her sincerely, allowing Marinette to breathe a small sigh of relief. The redhead then let out a small growl of annoyance. “Unlike a certain tabloid reporter and two-faced liar.” Now that that really got the noir haired girl’s attention even more than him knowing her secret.
“The spell broke,” Marinette whispered as his words settled into her brain as her eyes widened even more, if that was even possible, in surprise. While she had been frightened at the fact of him knowing her secret, but he had not told anyone. She could tell that he was honest in the fact that he had not told anyone.  Since otherwise her identity would have probably been public news by now. Secrets like this would spread around like wildfire with the slightest slip off the tongue.
So, she was now more interested in the fact that he called Rossi a liar. It meant that he had broken through her spell and she wanted to know how he came to this revelation. Had it come after he had fond out about her hidden I.D. or was it something else. She was practically vibrating with a curious need to know and asked him about it.
Nathaniel turned his eyes to the sky, several emotions running trough them. Most prominent was the look of shame and pain. “It did weaken her hold over me, but what really made me realise she was a liar was when she promised to introduce me to one of my idols. One I know to have passed away. I won’t say their name, but that really broke the illusion for me,” He spoke bitterly.
Marinette let out a pained hiss at that. Knowing how painful it is to have someone disrespect your inspirational idols in that manner. She softly rubbed his shoulder in comfort and gave a small apology. Nathaniel let out a gloomy laugh and turned his eyes to the ground.  “You have nothing to apologize for Marinette. I should be the one to apologize. For never mastering up the courage to stand up for you even after I realized Lie-la’s grandeur was nothing more than empty words. And I am truly sorry for that. Because after everything you have helped me with, I really should have.”
Marinette felt her heart flutter at his apology and then he just kept on rambling about how he should have stood up for her. How he should have trusted her. Making her feel hot tears gather in her eyes. She had waited so long to have one of her friends back and here was one. Trying his best to make amends and unlike the rest of her class, he had never hurt her in the same way the others had. He always remained kind to her even before he knew of her secret. He may have been afraid to stand up but did not try to ruin her life like the others. So, she had no trouble pulling him into a hug. At first it shocked the boy, but he gratefully returned the gesture.
“Don’t blame yourself. You did not do anything wrong. You did not turn your back to me like the others did. I don’t blame you for not standing up against Rossi. You would have only painted a target on your back, and she would have made you feel miserable. Like with me,” Marinette whispered. “And I need to thank you for keeping my secret all this time. It means the world to me.” Nathaniel tightened his hold on the girl as a few tears of relief and gratitude fell from his eyes, as the words left her mouth. Duusu nuzzled against her neck in comfort. A feeling of pride washing over the kwami of emotion at his little bird.
_____________________________________________________________________
After they let go of each other they settled back into more comfortable sitting positions. The atmosphere feeling lighter than it had been around them for a long while.
“If it is okay to ask,” Nathaniel spoke carefully. “Is the new ladybug permanent? Because if I am being honest, I don’t really trust her.”
Marinette let outa pained sigh. “I made a grave mistake and because of that this new ladybug has the ladybug miraculous. I don’t know how to rectify this mistake, but I will find a way. That is a promise.”
“You always find a way,” Nathaniel assured. “I’ll keep my eyes open as well. I might not be the bravest, but I want to help. After everything I need to help. Even the tiniest bit.” Marinette wanted to say he did not have to. He did not let her say it. “You have forgiven me, but now I need to forgive myself. So let me help. Paris is my home to.”
It made Marinette smile as she felt the sincere emotion and determination flood of her fellow omega. “Now if only I knew how Lie-la is capable of keeping our classmates and others at her bag and call. That might help take bit of stress of my back,” She sighed. Her eyes scanning the sky, hoping it held the answers.
This made Nathaniel scratch his neck again sheepishly. “Marc and I may have a theory on how she keeps everyone under her spell, actually,” He mumbled off.
Marinette whipped around so fast it was a wonder she did not get any whiplash. She grabbed the redhead’s shoulders and looked straight into his turquoise eyes. Her own silvery blue crystal eyes were ablaze with a cold fire. “Please explain how that two-faced bitch is killing all the fucking braincells of the people around us and turning them into fucking sheep,” Her voice had an icy chill to it that sent shivers up the Nathaniel’s spine.
“I didn’t know you could curse,” Nathaniel said trying to curl away from the internally raging female omega.
It resulted in Marinette raising an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Trust me when I say Chloe can swear like a bloody sailor. So, I learned a few things from her,” She huffed a small smirk on her face. She then let go of his shoulders, giving the redhead some room to breath, as a curios gaze replaced the once cold fire. “Please share. My curiosity is going to kill me.”
Before Nathaniel could start telling her about the theory however, a loud explosion penetrated the air. Both omegas turned to the source of the sound. A good distance away they saw a person a top a glider. They cackled madly as they threw loud explosives around.
Really Hawkmoth, can’t they have one day of peace? 
The answer: Nope.
“How about we continue this conversation tomorrow over lunch. Chloe and Marc can join in on the theory. I do believe Chloe will be thrilled to know how Lie-la is capable of maintaining the utterly ridiculous situation at school,” Marinette proposed. Her eyes never leaving the new akuma.
“You are going to investigate, aren’t you?” Nathaniel asked nervously. Marinette simply nodded not looking at him. He sighed, “I won’t be able to change your mind, will I? How can I help?”
“It would be best for you to get to safety,” Marinette advised. Turning to look him directly in the eye and stopping him from objecting. “You have no need to worry about me. I still have an ace up my sleeve. So, trust me,” She assured with a mischievous look in her eyes.
Nathaniel stared uneasily at his fellow omega before nodding. “Alright but be careful, okay, I better see you at school tomorrow.” Was the last thing he said before grabbing his stuff and turning away to go to one of the akuma shelters. Leaving Marinette alone.
Taking a quick survey of her surroundings, to make sure the coast was clear, she asked Duusu to come out. “Are you ready?” the little god asked. Marinette smirked in reply. Let’s see what they were capable of.
“Duusu, Spread my Feathers”
Authors note: hey i hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. a few people have been asking me about adding them to my taglist and being honest i am not sure of how to do that. i am still very new with tumblr, but once i finally stop being dumb i'll be sure to do that. i hope you will stick around to the rest of the story. stay save.
90 notes · View notes
ateezmakemeweep · 4 years
Text
four in the morning.
Tumblr media
yunho x reader; strangers to lovers
word count: 11k
angst, fluff, smut
10:05 p.m.
you never wanted a public proposal. you had told your boyfriend every time you saw someone get down on one knee in times square on new year's eve or in front of cinderella's castle at disney world that you would absolutely die if he did that to you.
and maybe it speaks to your naivety, to your complete disregard of just how shitty he's treated you over these past five years, that you thought that would ever be a problem in your relationship. because he's the guy who ditches you for his friends and religiously forgets date night, who falls asleep right after extremely unsatisfying sex that has you faking orgasms, who doesn't answer your texts all day but freely like posts on instagram.
and evidently, he's also the guy who breaks up with his girlfriend in the middle of dinner.
because one second the waitress is putting down the dessert, a tiramisu cheesecake you were drooling just thinking about all night, and then the next, before she's even out of ears reach, he blurts out, "we should break up."
you don't even say anything at first, just stare blankly and shake your head because he didn't just that. he wouldn't say that. not today on this day and not right now in this setting.
"wh-what?"
but he doesn't miss a beat.
"i've been thinking about it for a while, y/n," he says to you, leaning on his hand like this whole conversation is about to be a bore. "i just...we've been together for so long and i'm really kind of...sick of it."
"you're... you're sick of it?" you squeak.
"well yeah, i mean it's been four years and i don't wanna lie and say i feel like i'm still in love with y-"
"five."
"what?" he asks, looking at you in pure and utter confusion and you don't know if you feel more heartbroken or angry at this very moment.
"five. we've been together for five years," you tell him, voice too calm and composed for how you're feeling inside. "in fact, today marks our fifth year together. but you didn't remember that, did you?"
you think you would've felt better if he showed some sort of regretful or guilty reaction, his mouth dropping open or face lighting up like the date sent off alarm bells in that stupid little head of his. but nothing. just a thoughtful nod, like you told him the food was good or you needed another drink.
"oh," he says with a small shrug, "well five years then, even longer than i thought. see, y/n, i'm just over it. i'm over this relationship and i'm over being someone's boyfriend."
"hm....hm," is all you hum because you refuse to make a warner and elle woods type of scene in this restaurant right now. but your burning throat and shaking hands want so badly to do something. to scream and curse at him or throw that cake right in his face or maybe even slap him for being so cold and harsh and detached.
"are you mad?"
a laugh bubbles out of your mouth now and anyone around can probably hear how unhinged it sounds, like you're a second away from having some sort of breakdown or bursting into tears and screaming.
"am i mad?" you ask, a cold edge finally seeping into your tone. "am i mad my boyfriend just broke up with me, in public, at our anniversary dinner? are you seriously fucking asking me that?" you grunt out the words through clenched teeth, lowering your voice when you let the profanity slip out.
"well...yeah," he says dopily, "i still care about you as a person. i just- don't wanna be in a relationship anymore. i kind of figured i was making it obvious these past few weeks."
"then why wouldn't you have just told me the second you had these thoughts!" you spit and now the volume of your voice is considerably louder. "why make me wait and then do it at this very moment!"
"i-i don't know, i didn't really know how or when was a good time to tell you."
"oh, well thank god you waited, this was truly ideal," you growl sarcastically.
and then, like he has any right to be offended or upset, he lets out a scoff. "look, i'm sorry but this is what i want....i'll still pay for dinner if that's what you're-"
"you think i give a single fuck if you pay for dinner!"
you finally break whatever composure you were channeling, voice breaking and raising and causing the several groups of people to look in your direction. some of them are subtle with their side-eyes and whispers while others are full on staring, mouths agape with looks of pity and you wouldn't be surprised if you find a video of this on the internet later.
"what is your problem," he says, "i said i'm sorry but you really can't be that-"
"leave," you tell him, quietly now, with your head down and eyes on the table. "i'll take care of it. just please...get away from me."
there's a few beats of silence before he mumbles something along the lines of "whatever," deeply sighing like this is actually causing him any distress, like he's the one who has to stay here with lingering gazes and pitiful stares. you think he might take a breath to say something else but then ultimately decides against it, the squeaking of a chair and heavy foot steps walking away indicating you're finally alone.
and it's during that time your tears start falling, your head hung and hand cupping your forehead so the people around you don't get more of a show.
maybe a part of you knew deep down that the relationship was gonna be over, that it really should've been for your sake and you were just too scared to accept it. but it was just the manner in which he did it, so coldly and out of nowhere, like the past five years didn't mean anything to him. and you can't deny the sickening parallel to years of you telling him you didn't want him to fucking propose to you in public and then going and dumping you at one of your favorite resturants.
"i'm so stupid, oh my, god, i'm so fucking stupid," you mumble out, voice wobbly and wet before you feel the presence of the waitress at your side. you peak up at her as she bends down holding out a packet of tissues, a sympathetic look on her face that has you realizing she probably watched the whole thing go down.
"you're not stupid, baby, don't say that," she says, placing her hand on your arm comfortingly.
you thank her quietly for the tissues, taking one out and dapping at your wet face. "i'm sorry, this is so embarrassing," you squeak out, "i'm gonna pay the bill don't worry, i just...i needed him to leave."
"no, i'm so sorry that just happened. i can't believe he thought that was okay."
you sniffle as you scrunch up the tissue. "i-i know," you say, "i mean i knew he was an asshole but he really just...our anniversary dinner! and during dessert! i was so excited for this cake."
she laughs softly at your sad whine, placing down the tissue packet and moving the plate closer to you. "well, you can still be excited. don't you dare let him ruin this tiramisu." you're pleastantly surprised when a small chuckle leaves your mouth, wiping at your face with your wrist.
"you're right, he can't taint it," you say before catching the side glances of people surrounding you, "but i think i have to get out of here before i cause any more of a disturbance."
she nods her head sympathetically, urging you to take a few bites and that she'll bring the check right over.
you keep your head down as embarrassed tears threaten to fall again, the feeling like a milllion eyes are on you making you feel even more awkward and unsettled; you're sure it's just paranoia but you swear you can feel eyes boring into the side of your face, someone probably laughing and mocking and feeling so incredibly sorry for your pitiful situation.
sorry enough that when the waitress comes back, she tells you someone has already paid for your bill. your eyes widen upon hearing the news, looking around curiously and stuttering out incoherent bits of sentences.
"who?" is the only clear thing you're able to ask.
"i don't know, he just left," she tells you, "brown-haired guy. very tall. cute, too." you feel her hand on the back of your chair when you stand up. "and i'm sorry again, honey. i didn't charge you for the cake but i hope to see you in here again enjoying it," she adds on quietly.
you give her a grateful smile and nod, assuring her you'll definitely be back before rushing out to catch up with the mysterious man who just dropped well over $100 on two complete strangers. and luckily, you don't have to look very far. because there he is, all dark hair and broad shoulders, leant against the side of the building with a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth.
he sees your teary-gaze meet his and his lips quirk up ever so slightly before he flicks the ashes and begins to turn around. but your low "hey!" stops him in his tracks. he cranes his neck back to look at you, the sky dark around you both but the light from the streetpoles clearly showing both of your expressions.
his is unnervingly blank, only a flicker of soft sympathy in his eye while your own, still heartbroken, also holds a curious, maybe even a wary look. because why would this stranger do that? could he have felt that bad?
you make your way up to him, feeling slightly intimidated when he fully turns around and you see just how much he towers over you. but it's funny because his face is shockingly...sweet looking, like a fresh-faced boy you'd see in church or volunteering at a nursing home.
but then his large stature, the shoulders you can't stop eyeing, his all black attire mixed with the scent of cigarette smoke and cologne makes for a very strange contrast. even his voice, when he finally mumbles back a "hi," is sweet sounding.
"why did you...the waitress said you paid my bill." your tone is quiet and small but still manages to sound accusatory.
"i did, i'm sorry," he says and you're wondering if the pink flush on his cheeks is from the cold. "i hope you didn't mind." you find yourself staring at him blankly, eyebrows pinched together because...did he really just apologize for that?
"i...well no but..i..it was probably expensive," you eventually get out, "you didn't have to do that."
"well, neither did he," yunho mumbles and you can tell by the airiness in his tone he didn't mean anything bad by it. but it doesn't stop your face from dropping slightly, lips pressing into a firm line to distract yourself from your stinging eyes.
"i'm sorry, that was insensitive," he winces, the sincerity in his tone only confirming your thoughts. "but i just... i wanted to pay for it. why should you have?"
you swallow the lump in your throat, shrugging your shoulders lightly because you don't really know what to say back to that.
"because i'm the one who got dumped," you squeak out before a humorless laugh bubbles out of you. "dumped on our anniversary. how pathetic is that?"
"it's pathetic of him," the boy grunts out and you cock your head to the side at how mad he sounds.
"i-i guess..." you say after a few quiet seconds before words start pouring out of you. "i just.. can't believe it. i don't know what i'm gonna do now. i've been with him for so long and got so used to him and then he really went and-" your voice breaking cuts off your sentence, like it's finally hitting you that the relationship is over.
because no matter how bad it was, it was still something you put years of yourself into. years of effort and years of memories and you feel so stupid for feeling this upset when there's far more bad than good.
"i'm sorry, you definitely don't wanna hear this," you laugh out humorlessly as tears sting your eyes. "but...i just wanted to thank you for paying the bill. i wish i could make it up to you somehow, it was probably expensive."
you meet his gaze to see him smiling slightly at you, even though you're on the verge of a breakdown and talking far too much.
"you're welcome," he says before hesitantly continuing. "i was gonna go walk around for a bit. do you wanna join?"
when you look up at him with a wary expression, he puts his hands up in defense, eyes soft and wide as he shakes his head. "it might clear your head a little, that's all."
your fragile heart warms at the gesture but you find yourself declining, insisting you're not the best company right now and that'd he probably regret inviting you.
"i don't think so," he says and his voice is just so kind that you're questioning if he's even real, questioning why on earth this stranger seems to care about your wellbeing. and when he sees you're still teetering, teeth sunk into your lip as you look at him with conflict in your eyes, a sweet smile spreads across his face.
"c'mon, you said you wanted to make it up to me."
your lips purse to the side, eyebrow raised ever so slightly before letting out a quiet sigh. "okay... but don't say i didn't warn you."
his smile widens as his long arms come out to showcase the sidewalk in front of him and you find yourself giggling slightly at his dramatics. you take one last look back at the restaurant before exhaling sharply and feeling his looming presence next to you as you both begin to walk.
"so....were you there with friends tonight?" you chirp, hoping to distract your impending nervousness with conversation.
he tells you he had met his mom there for dinner, who brought along his new step-father he can't help but detest. but he sat politely all throughout the appetizer and main course until one too many ignorant and snappy comments had him putting the man in his place.
"he was also mean to the waitress which is why i eventually snapped," he tells you. and by snapped, he means lowly speaking for him to either find some manners or piss off. "my mom asked for the check so fast and they left within five minutes. so i stayed for a drink."
"i could so use a drink right now," you laugh out, "but it sounds like you were in the right. you're just all types of chivarlous, huh?"
you peak up at him to see a smirk cross his face, his eyes falling to you at the same time and pink covers both your cheeks at being caught. but you and him will pretend it's because of the harsh winds whipping through the city; yes, the whipping wind, definitely not the soft curious gazes and arms bumping into each other clumsily.
"what made that obvious?"
you shake your head as another giggle falls from your lips, tightening the sweater around your body when a particularly harsh breeze pelts into you again. and of course, the boy next to you immediately notices, hears the clattering of your teeth and sharp intake of breath.
"you cold?"
"no, i'm okay," you squeak out. but you already see his movements from the corner of your eye taking off the black bomber jacket.
"please don't give me your coat, i can not-"
but it's already placed around your shoulders before you can finish your sentence, a knowing smirk on his lips when you huff at him, exasperated.
"....i was gonna say your name but it appears i don't even know it."
his deep chuckle rings through the air, stopping his feet so he can properly put his hand out.
"i'm yunho."
"y/n," you say back, taking his large hand in yours and what an innapropriate time for you to admire its sheer size and the length of his fingers. "you're... nice, too nice."
his smile widens looking down at you, hands still intertwined as he cocks his head to the side. "because i gave a cold girl my jacket?"
"and paid for her bill. and welcomed her on a walk," you say, "i'm wondering how much more i can get out of your very obvious pity."
his smile falters, eyebrows knitting as he shakes his head. "i'm not doing this out of pity."
the firm way in which he says it has you lowering your head shyly, eyes on the concrete as you take the hand in his back. all of your emotions are out of wack tonight, your chest not knowing how to feel, broken and aching over that awful dinner but also...slightly warmed by the actions of this random boy.
"then why are you doing it?" your voice sounds so small and it makes a frown cover his face now.
"can't i just be nice to you?" he asks, "why do i need a reason?"
"because we're...strangers," you say, looking up at him hesitantly and pressing your lips together nervously, "and you don't know me."
"everyone's strangers until they're not," he retorts, stepping just a smidge closer to you and it makes you swallow down the dry patch in your throat. "and maybe i want to know you."
when you can't find the words to respond, heart racing and throat clogged, he speaks up again.
"let me distract you tonight."
your eyebrow raises, head turning to the side because you don't know what to make of that comment. because you know you're vulnerable right now, know you should probably go home and cope normally in the form of crying and ice cream.
but you trust him for some reason. trust his soft voice and kind eyes and the way he seems so genuine and pure despite his dark appearance.
"what do you have in mind?" you find yourself asking, stomach fluttering and whether it's from nervousness or his bright smile, you don't know.
"could you still use a drink?"
12:22 a.m
"okay, i think....this is a weeeee bit unsafe!" you say as you stumble up the stairs behind him, his hand pulling you carefully by one of your fingers.
"probably," he says, "but we'll be okay."
the sound of a door squeaking open is the first thing you hear, the harsh whipping of wind the next as your hair blows back and coldness envelops your body. yunho bends to stick a brick in the door before guiding you to the middle of the rooftop.
the dark sky is lit by faint lights shining from apartment buildings and bulletin boards, the only sound an occasional honk of a horn making it's way up the 20 stories. you disconnect your hands to stumble over to the edge, placing them on the cold concrete to peer your head over. you take in the sight of tall buildings and taxis and little figures of people walking the streets.
"heeelllooo!" you scream down at them, your hands cupping your mouth in hopes someone will hear you. yunho's laugh echoes through the sky, quickly walking over to place a hand on your lower back.
"be careful."
you turn around, back now resting on the ledge as you poke his chest lightly. "you're the one that said we'll be okay," you mutter, lowering your voice to imitate his words. "because i'm big and strong and a suspiciously nice boy."
"okay, nice you told me," he says, voice teasing as he stares down at you with bright eyes. "but big and strong, you say?"
"very big and very strong," you say, letting your finger travel from his chest to his shoulder. he watches your eyes follow your hand, roaming from one side of him to the other before meeting his eyes. and it's like his gaze acts as an electric shock, your hand immediately falling from the black material.
"and i had very too much drink."
he smiles down at you, making sure to stay close because he'd be lying if he said you being so close to the edge didn't make him nervous. and perhaps this wasn't his best idea, bringing you up to the roof of his apartment complex after you had one too many beers.
but it's a nice place to clear your head, to take in the sights of the city in a less noisy and crowded way. and he thinks you could use that after the night you had, after the night he couldn't help but hear take place as he sat alone at the bar.
he had ohad a perfect view of you all night. you caught his eye the second he sat down, your shy smile and the way you fidgeted nervously with your hair making him not being able to tear his gaze away.
but then he'd heard the bored tone of the guy across from you, the way he was barely entertaining the conversation and just avoided all your softly spoken questions. he had tightened his grip around the beer bottle one too many times, sick and tired of asshole men who never learned how to respect other people.
"i just wanted my cheesecake."
your sudden whine rips him from his thoughts and he can't help the smirk creeping up on his face.
"which one? the tiramisu?"
it's your surprised gasp and bright eyes that has a smile stretching across his face and your own heart warms upon seeing it. because he is super cute.
"yes! oh, my gosh, yes!" you giggle, "have you had it?"
"every time i go," he chuckles out, "except tonight."
"me too," you say and the sudden thought that he wants to kiss the pout off your face comes into his head. but that would absolutely absurd because he's only known you two hours and you just got broken up with and you're a bit tipsy; there's just far too many reasons for him not to do it.
so he lifts his hand to your mouth, his thumb and pointer finger lifting your face into a smile. you giggle against his hand, opening your mouth playfully and pretending to bite it but he quickly rips it away.
"hey!" his voice is deep but teasing and it makes you squeal as you drunkely trot away from him. in fear that you'll somehow stumble over the edge, he chases after you but the sound of his feet causes you to speed up. your laugh echoes on the rooftop, his own deep chuckles and pleas of "stop!" ringing through the air.
and he wishes you would've listened because no less than ten seconds later do you trip over your shoe lace, stumbling and crashing down right on your side. he yelps your name, rushing over and is grateful to see your head didn't ricochet off the concrete.
"oops," you giggle out, rolling onto your back as you rub at your side. he kneels over you, assessing your face for any injuries and sighing in relief when you're unscathed. but then you sit up, looking around in a daze before your eyes land on the untied white lace.
"okay so not my fault....my shoe was untied."
"i see that," yunho laughs out, tapping his large hand on his knee. you look at him with a small unsure smile.
"let me tie you up."
your eyes widen for a split second, mouth dropping open and you see how bright red his face his face gets even in the dark.
"your shoe! let me tie your shoe up! so you don't fall again." you plop your foot down with a nervous laugh and watch his long fingers double knot your laces before gently placing it down. "next one," he says with a smile, "just in case."
you purse your lips to the side to hide your own, sticking your foot on him before laying back on the cold ground. he plops on his butt after he finishes tying the second shoe, watching you lay there and he hopes you don't fall asleep.
a few moments pass before he hears your quiet voice.
"what'd you say?" he asks, leaning his head towards you. but now it's his eyes that are widening, your hand pulling him by his sweater and if he didn't put his arms out, he probably would've fallen right on top of you. his large figure rolls off, laying right beside you just as you speak again.
"stars," you slur, "i wish we could see them here." because you're just staring at the black abyss, the crescent shaped moon the only thing beaming down at you. but what you'd give to see a sky full of twinkling stars, because there's a sense of wonder in them that always makes you feel better.
"i know, that'd be nice," he sighs. and it's a thought he's also had when he'd sneak up here. whether it was after rough days or okay days or great days, he always found solace up here. but he always thought, especially on those particular nights he felt gloomy, that the stars would've been good company.
"what made you take me up here, anyway?" you hum curiously.
he moves his gaze, watching you look at the sky and he feels his chest tighten. because it's like the moon is reflecting in your eyes, the only source of light shining down on you as you look up and take it all in. and even though your cheeks are red from the wind and tears and your hair is windblown and knotty, "you're beautiful."
he says it so lowly that you wouldn't have heard it if a harsh blow of wind whipped through the air. but because it didn't, because everything up here is now still and unmoving, you crane your neck to look at him.
"what?"
his cheeks flush ever so slightly because he did not mean to blurt that out. but he got lost in his admiration, in the way you looked so angelic and at peace and content and now he really has to work on answering you.
"i'm sorry," he says, voice sounding breathy and flustered. "i meant....i mean, i don't know, really. i just think it's a nice place to get away for a bit."
he thinks he might've scared you off by his compliment, watching you turn your head back to the sky and remain silent for a few beats of time. his brain is screaming at him now that you're gonna jump up and run away and think his intentions were anything but pure. but then his brain and body relax when your soft voice begins to speak up.
"it is," you squeak quietly, "i...think this was a good first choice."
"first choice?"
your head snaps to look at him again, a smile on your face at just his presence next to you. because he's the type of person who has a light around them, who makes you feel at ease and whose soul you just know is good.
"well yeah," you squeak out, "i have you as a distraction all night, right?"
a big smile of his own brightens his face and you feel your heart flutter, jumping and shifting at the way he just looks so happy.
"you do."
"well, i have our second place in mind. but we might have to take a taxi," you explain to him, "on me, of course."
"no need," he says, "this is actually my apartment building. my car is downstairs."
you huff out as your eyes roll and he chuckles when you stare at him with a pained expression.
"what?"
"you're too chivalrous!" you whine, smacking his chest lightly as you cross your legs. he only smiles as he shakes his head at you. but his heart hurts because the bare minimum for you would probably seem like an act of chivarly.
"fine. i'll drive myself there and you can walk," he teases, poking your kneecap lightly when he says the word 'you'.
"deal," you giggle and he bites his lip at the sound, placing his large arm behind his head before you continue. "but first..."
he watches you unzip his jacket, fishing inside of it before whipping out two beer bottles with a smile. "i'd like to finish these, if that's okay."
"did you smuggle those out?!" he asks, humor in his tone as he leans up on his elbows.
"well, i paid for them of course!" you squeak, cheeks heating up at the way he's looking at you with his soft eyes and red cheeks. but then it occurs to you why his poor face is probably bright red. "and since we're at your house now....can i please ask something of you?"
he raises his eyebrow at you.
"please get yourself a jacket."
2:38 a.m.
he'd been driving for a little over an hour when you quietly alert him that you've almost arrived. he'd been led to a suburban area, brick houses lined with garden gnomes and mini vans in a quiet town. he smiles when he drives around the corner and sees a fenced in playground, two jungle gyms equipped with monkey bars and slides as well as a swingset in the farthest corner.
"ah, so this is destination 2?"
"yeah..." he hears you mumble quietly, "do you think it's stupid?"
he looks over at you when he hears the almost whispered tone in your voice, eyes staring down at your lap with your hands tucked into one another tightly. it seems like you think he's gonna berate you, like you're reliving some sort of bad memory and expecting history to repeat itself.
so without thinking, he reaches out with his hand and places it over yours. the unexpected warmth causes you to jump, looking up at him with glossy, hazed eyes.
"of course not," he says softly and you swallow the lump in your throat. "i'm pleasantly surprised. i haven't been on a playground in forever."
the smallest of smiles makes its way on your face, whipping your head back to the park and wiggling your feet. "me either," you mumble.
"then let's go, shall we?" he hums, removing his hand from yours as he turns off the car and opens his door to get out. you just manage to place your hand on the handle when five seconds later, he's opening and holding the passenger side door for you.
"i'm not even gonna say it," you mumble before thanking him quietly. he chuckles as he follows you to one side of the park, a gaping hole in the fence that easily allows the average sized body to slip through. but it proves a bit more challengingly for him, a giggle leaving your mouth as you take him by the hand and pull him the rest of the way in.
"i forgot you're a giant."
he scoffs playfully at you, running past you to get to the swings first. but you're sluggish in your movements, teetering and eyes heavy because you really shouldn't have had those two drinks. you were hoping it'd liven your spirits, make you more fun and playful.
but it appears when you're as sad as you are, the fun parts of drinking get skipped over and the sorrow you're feeling only heightens. and the boy smiling at you on the swing is making it easier, the way he talked and laughed with you in the car, the way he's parading you around and keeping you company so you're not lonely and sad. but you still feel it, feel like you're being crushed by the pain in your chest and torn in two different directions.
"i shouldn't have drank," you whine, taking a seat on the swing and leaning your head against the cool chain. your statement immediately has his eyes widening, his feet stopping on the gravel and looking at you.
"why?" he asks, slight panic in his voice, "are you gonna puke?"
"no," you giggle out slightly as you shake your head. "i just...i know my company's about to get pretty depressing." you swallow the lump forming in your throat, feeling tight and like you're about to choke on it. "your distractions have been....great but i'm still feeling so- i don't know why i'm-"
you feel his hands on your knee, the warmth radiating through your pants as he's bent down and looking at you with those kind brown eyes.
"hey, it's okay," he says softly and it has tears stinging behind your own because he looks at you nicer than he ever did and here you are crying over that waste when you could be getting to know him. "it'd be unusual if you didn't, y/n, it just happened."
your teeth dig into your lip to stop it from trembling, sniffling against the cold air. "i guess...i brought him here once you know."
"yeah?"
his heart wrenches seeing you stare down at your lap dejectedly, moving your foot in small circles that his thumbs micmic on your knee. and that's the way you stay for a while, in the cold silence together as he stays bent down rubbing your knee, your eyes trailing from your lip to his long fingers that have such a gentle touch.
"when we first started dating," you finally say quietly because it was probably one the first red flags that he wasn't gonna be the best boyfriend. you'd been dating for two months, driving back into the city after his first time meeting your parents when you asked him if you could show him one of your favorite places.
and you don't know why you were so surprised when he laughed at you, raised an eyebrow and scoffed  because 'why would a grown adult wanna go to a playground?'
"did he like it?" he asks, seeing that you're in your head again.
"of course not," you laugh out humorlessly, "he thought it was so stupid. asked why either of us would even wanna go here when we're full grown adults. but i...i don't know, i came here all the time when i was younger and wanted to show him. i though it'd be fun."
he forgets he's holding onto your knee so you look down when he squeezes it between his large hand, eyes tight and jaw slightly clenched as he shakes his head.
"he's the stupid one," yunho bites into the cold air, "you wanted to show him something meaningful and he couldn't see that."
you shrug as a quiet sigh leaves your mouth. you don't even know why you keep talking but words just keep falling out of you, making you even more mopey and sad and you know he's absolutely regretting this. regretting spending his night with a whiney loser who can't stay out of her own sad head, who doesn't ever know what to say back so you lapse into silence while uncomfortable thoughts plague your mind.
"would you break up with someone like that?" he hears your voice ask lowly and his stomach twists at your question. because it was so random and out of nowhere, he knows you've probably been mulling over everything for these past few silent minutes.
"would you just spring it on a person like that? at a restaurant in front of people?"
he doesn't even have to think about his response.
"no," he mumbles truthfully, "i...don't think i could ever."
you sniffle because you had known that would be his answer. he's nice and kind and everything you wanted your boy....ex-boyfriend to be.
"but i've also never broken up with anyone before," he shares quietly.
you wipe at the lone tear that finally escaped your eye, cringing when you see your makeup on his jacket.
"oh? but you've had a girlfriend before, right?"
when he doesn't answer, your eyes widen and you quickly correct yourself when you meet his gaze. "or boyfriend..."
a small smile crosses his face as he shakes his head. "it'd be girlfriend..." he says teasingly, "but no... i've never really dated anyone, officially. just flings and stuff."
"why?" you squeak out and his eyes flicker to you, roaming your face to see an avid curiosity in your wide, glossy eyes.
"i don't know," he says honestly and he wishes he had a better answer for you. "it's not like i haven't wanted one...i just never found the right person, i guess."
you can only hum thoughtfully, nodding as you take in this new bit of information. because how is it possible that he can't manage to find the right person?
"well who would that be then?"
when he looks up from your knees, he sees you looking down at him with your head back against the chain. and if was anyone else, he'd think they were asking coyly. like they were trying flirt or be tempting.
but he knows that's not the case, even if he wants it to be.
"someone good," he says after thinking about it for a second, "someone i can have fun with but also be serious with. just someone...genuine and sweet, who i know deserves the best."
"you just described yourself," you mumble and he can't help the laugh that bubbles out of him.
"yeah? i thought that kind of sounded like someone else here," he responds lowly, his deep voice causing your gaze to meet his. you bite your lip nervously at the eye contact and any other time it'd make you nervous and fidgety. but now, because you're in the state you're in, you can't look away.
and it's a state he knows you're in as well which is what causes him to look away and stand up, moving himself behind you until his hands meet the middle of your back. you jump in surprise, craning your neck back to look at him.
but before you can ask him what's happening, you start flying into the air. you let out a small squeal as you tighten your hold on the chains, his large hands pushing on your back as you swing.  
"don't fall again!"
"well, a warning would've been nice!" you squeak before another uncontrollable laugh cuts you off.
"that's not as fun."
he continues to push you until you whine for him to sit down next to you, pumping your legs as you two fight to get higher. but when he leans his head back a few minutes later and catches a glimpse of the dark sky, he's halting and grabbing you to stop the swing.
"what're you doing, cheater! i was winning!"
"come with me."
he grabs your hand and leads you over to the jungle gym, guiding you up to the highest platform before craning his neck up.
"what're you doing?" you ask as you mimic him before a gasp cuts you off. because the exposed ceiling of the playground shows off the sky full of bright twinkling stars, the lack of light pollution from the bustling city allowing you to see just what you're robbed of every night.
"the stars!" you squeal, looking at him excitedly and he feels his chest constrict like it has every time that bright smile comes out. "they're so pretty."
"they are," he mumbles, watching you plop down on the cold floor and lay out to stargaze. he smiles softly before joining you, bending his legs so he fits on the platform. and just like on the rooftop, your arms press together but neither of you make any attempts to move them.
and then if your head somehow ends up grazing his shoulder, he only peaks down with a smile that matches your own.
4:10 a.m.
once the cold got too much, lips chapped and hands red, you both ran to the car and waited anxiously for the heat to crank up. there was a sense in the air that your time wasn't over yet, neither one of you mentioning going home or ending the night despite the early morning hours creeping around.
so it's why you ended up picking up food at a 24-hour conveience store, crumps of snacks and water bottles littering the floor of his car. why you're both just pulled over on the side of the empty highway, the occurence of another flashing pair of headlights rare.
"so what do you usually do on a friday night?" you chirp as your feet rest on the dashboard, "you know, when you're not accompanying a weepy dumpee?"
"don't call yourself that," he laughs out, "but usually just at one of my friends. we're a boring bunch so you've actually spiced up my night."
"now i know that's a lie," you quip, poking his arm lightly and the sound of his deep chuckle has your cheeks heating. he is cute.
"it's not," he assures turning his head to the side to throw you a wink. "and thank you."
your body freezes as a gasp leaves your mouth, snapping your head to look at him. he doesn't laugh because of how wide your eyes are, how shocked and horrified you look that you just said that aloud, but he really wants to.
"i...i didn't say- oh, my god."
"what's so bad about that? i blurted out that you were beautiful two hours into meeting," he says, embarassment laced in his tone.
your cheeks heat at the memory, a shy smile on your face as you look down to hide the bright blush. it's daring on his part, daring to reach out and lift your face, rub his thumb along the warm skin and smile softly as he does so.
"why are you hiding?"
"because you're crazy," you say lowly, quietly, and you're cursing the dinner and the way this sweet boy affects you for your low self-esteem ruining the car's atmosphere.
"fine, i'm crazy," he says, "but you're still bea-"
"i'm not," you interupt quietly, before he can say those words and warm your heart and make you wanna kiss him. because that would be a terrible idea. even though you want to, even though you've developed the fastest crush in history and it would be so easy to just scoot over a few inches, move your head in just a little and-
"why? because he broke up with you?"
you bite your lip at the reminder, roaming over his face that's unwavering and serious. dark eyes looking into yours, focused on nothing but you with his hand still on your cheek. you swallow the ball forming in your throat as he waits for you to answer.
"yes," you mumble, feeling your eyes gloss over before you move your face to look back out the window. he sighs next to you and you can feel his gaze on you, boring into you and the tightness in your throat is almost suffocating you.
"i'm sorry, y/n, but you have to know-"
"stop it," you mumble brokenly, "please stop."
"why," he says softly and he's surprised by himself for pushing you. but he can't help it, not as he watches your fleeting moments of happiness fade in and out the way they have all night, sees your eyes water and hands start to fidget.
there's only a tense silence in the car for the next few moments, your eyes out the window and his on you as he watches your fingers fold into each other.
"he didn't deserve you," he suddenly says and you look up with your eyebrows furrowed, a humorless laugh leaving your mouth.
"how could you say that, you don't even know him," you mumble, hating that you're sitting here and defending him. and for what? you already knew he was the worst.  
"from the things you've told me. from what i saw and heard with my own ears," he tells you quietly. "i...he acted as if he wanted to be anywhere else but with you. and i just couldn't imagine why. because you seemed so... sweet and happy to be there with him."
you swallow nervously at his intense gaze and words, reaching out to fumble with the heat because it just got uncomfortably warm in here.
"why are you saying these things?" you ask suddenly, snapping your head up to look at him. "why are you still being so nice to me?"
he lets out a strangled sigh, his hard eyes looking you over and it makes something in you burn.
"i get it, you feel bad and wanted to play the knight in shining armor for a pathetic girl. but i can't take it, tonight. i can't take you...saying these things to me and not meaning it. just saying it out of pity."
"that wasn't why i did it," he's quick to say and there's something building in the air, a light buzzing as you become more snappy and he becomes more adament to prove himself to you. "and how do you know i don't mean it? i never felt pity for you."
"because it doesn't make any sense," you squeak out brokenly, "you're...you and i'm just some sad girl who can't keep her boyfriend interested enough to remember their fucking anniversary. can't keep her boyfriend happy enough to wanna stay with her and instead be dumped at-"
it's his large hand grabbing your jaw that starts it. halts your words and connects your gazes and has shaky, strangled breaths leaving your mouth. has him mumbling "stop it," through gritted teeth and you snarling a firm, "no."
and it could've been him bringing you forward or you pulling him closer but somehow, after a few beats of lingering gazes and breathy sighs, your lips connect.
at first neither of you even realized what happened, lips instinctually moving against one another and eyes shutting. his hand moves to your cheek and yours move to his shoulder, squeezing it lightly to ground yourself, make sure this is really happening because apparently the warm tingly feeling in your body isn't proof enough.
but it's what makes him rips himself away from you, chest heaving up and down from the adrenline of acting upon the feelings and actions he wanted to the moment he saw your smile on the rooftop.
"i'm sorry," he breaths out, eyes trained on the steering wheel, "i shouldn't have done that."
and if he thinks he shouldn't have done that, then you certainly don't think crawling over the console to straddle his lap would be the next appropriate move. but you do because it's like the second your lips met, you realized just how much you wanted and needed that.
his body freezes, back pressed right up against the black leather seat when watches you climb over. he looks down at you, dark eyes with a mix of agony and surprise and he's trying so hard to remain the nice, gentle boy he's been all night.
but then you bunch his shirt up between your hands, pull him down a few inches from your lips and mumble a plea to kiss you again against his mouth that has your lips crashing into one another again. his arms wrap around your waist hesitantly, your back arching when you feel how big his hands feel on your back, the warmth from his skin penetrating through your shirt. and it's all the encouragement he needs to tighten his hold around you, part his mouth and allow his tongue to sweep across your lips.
you stiffle a moan at the intrusion, meet his with yours as you slightly roll your hips on him. "y/n..." he groans against your lips but you only hum against them, body buzzing and the sound of heavy breathing fanning throughout the car only is only making you more willing to kiss him, to press yourself against his body and give yourself over to him.
but he quickly stops again, disconnecting your lips and squeezing your hips lightly. "wait..we shouldn't ...i don't wanna make you-"
"please," you say breathlessly, almost like a whine because your desire had been harboured by sadness but you now you don't even care. not with the feeling of him under you and the taste of him lingering on your lips and the way he's looking at you. "i want you."
"this isn't how how or why i wanted to distract you," he grunts out, "i swear i didn't-"
"yunho," you say, eyes boring into his and when he looks at you with wide, questioning eyes, you place a peck on his lips. "shut up."
and shut up he does when you bring his face down to yours, grinding his hips up into you at your eagerness and a tiny moan leaves your mouth at the feeling. because you feel the hint of a bulge and now arousal is just pounding through you.
your hands move to his hair, pulling and tugging and grinding against him and you hadn't realized how pent up sexually you were. and like the man under you has transformed into a new person, you just about faint when he disconnects your lips and mumbles against them, "he wasn't fucking you right, was he?"
your hazy, half-lidded gaze moves to him and you swallow at how different he looks. messy hair, red lips, dark eyes looking at you with such an intense, lustful gaze. and his voice, his deep and almost condescending tone causing wetness to pool between your legs.
"no," you whine out frustratedly.
"i can tell," he mutters teasingly and the way he says it makes your stomach flutter. his lips trail against your neck, kissing down and down as you lean your head back and bite your lips to suppress a moan.
"i'm gonna make you feel good, make you moan my name and come on my tongue and then fuck you right," he says pulling away from your neck to make you look at him, "is that good, baby? is that what you want?"
his dick twitches when he sees your roused hair and flushed face, eyes glossy and lips abused from his kiss and your teeth.
"hm?" he mutters again when you can only stare at him as your chest heaves.
"yes," you moan out and you can't believe how quickly you've fallen so needy and wet, "please."
"yes what?" he growls, "say my name."
"yunho. yes, yunho, please."
he lays you down on the seat, sliding it all the way back until he has just enough leg room to crouch down by the floor. he snakes his hands up your legs and thighs slowly, rubbing along your core and smiling when you thrash and twitch on the seat.
"are you gonna be wet for me, baby? i hope that's what i'm gonna see."
"yes, yunho," you repeat and he sharply inhales at how quickly you've learned to listen, how eager you are to respond and how you're already widening your legs.
"you're such a good girl, you know that?" he hums, undoing your pants with his fingers and you make sure to crane your neck to watch him. and it doesn't get lost on him either, smirking as his tugs your pants down to mid-thigh and you moan in response. your eyes roll back when you see his long finger trail against your wet lace thong and he has to surpress the growl in his throat.
"look at these," he hums moving them to the side just a little to graze your wetness and licks his lips when he feels his fingers get slick with your arousal.
"you," you gasp out, desperate for his touch or his tongue or just to feel him do anything but teasingly have his finger on you. "for you."
"yeah?" he mumbles, slowly moving around your dripping slit and you swallow down a loud moan. "you know. i wanted to kiss you all night," he hums, sliding your soaked thong down slowly and kissing in your inner thigh, "but i didn't think i'd get this lucky."
and with that, his hair grazes your stomach as he dips his head and places his tongue on your clit, lapping over it before trailing down to lick and taste more of you.
"holy shit," you gasp out and it only causes his tongue's assault to build frantically, sucking and licking and moaning against your wetness as he mumbles how good you taste. your hand moves to his hair, pulling and twisting the strands of hair and then gripping it harshly when you feel his finger slide into you.
"yunho," you screech out and you catch his eyes looking up at you, the image of him right between your legs, his mouth grazes over your burning core causing your own to roll back.
"look at me."
his deep voice commands it with such deep authority, so different than his sweet soft-spoken words, that you roll your head back to look at him with hazy eyes.
"i want you to watch me. watch me eat and finger this tight little pussy until you're screaming my name," he growls, bringing his other hand up to squeeze your bare thigh. "understand? i want you to watch me."
you nod your head frantically and you think you would've agreed to anything just for his tongue to go back on you and his finger to start pounding into you. and when it does, when he finally starts again between your legs, you bite your lips so your eyes don't roll back again.
because his tongue lapping over your clit, his long finger pounding up into you as looks right at you is quickly becoming too much. you can't ever remember a time oral felt like this, felt so consuming and had you making the sorts of moans and whines vibrating throughout the car.
"oh my god," you whine lowly, rolling your hips over his face but it only causes the hand not in your pussy to pin you down by your hips.
"hey," he warns lowly, his wet lips retracting from between your legs, "you've been so good for me, baby. what happened?"
"i'm sorry," you whine, "it just feels so-" his tongue laps at your clit teasingly and you screech "good, feels so good," when he sucks it into his hot mouth.
"i think i need to sit you on my cock," he says and the pride that floods through him when you clench around his finger is all consuming. "what do you think?"
"yes, yunho," you say, trying to remember how he likes you good, "please, i wanna sit on your cock." and it pays off because one second your laid out on your back, the next your pants are at your ankles and he's flipped you guys so you're straddling him again.
you feel his hardness under you, peaking down and your eyes widening when you see his sheer size. "whoa..."
your cheeks flush when you hear his deep chuckle, his hand running through your sweaty hair as he lifts your head.
"i'll be gentle."
but in a bold move, you spit on your hand and jerk his cock causing him to sputter in the seat below you. "i hope not," you mutter, eyes teasing and voice low and he squints his eyes at you.
"oh no?" he hums, "then sit."
thighs wet from the arousal dripping out of you, you swirl the tip around your slit teasingly and throw your heard back with a moan. and it's the only reason he humors it, because the way you look with your head thrown back, chest heaving and mouth hung open, is enough to make his already throbbing cock ache for you even more.
you move it to your clit, pressing him into it and grinding as a whiney cry leaves your lips. "oh my god," you squeak, your eyes shooting to his and you connect your lips again. he meets your kiss with the same fervor, taking his cock from your hold and lining it up with your entrance.
"i need to fuck you now," he growls, "please, baby."
"yes," you mumble against his lips, groaning out against him when you feel him enter you and stretch your walls. you both let out breathy moans when he fully enters, him because "you're so fucking tight" and you because "you're so big, yunho," and it's all the motivation you need to start grinding your hips onto him.
his hands dig into your hips, urging you on with coos of pet names and expletives that have you grinding and bouncing and moaning out. and if anyone were hitch hiking on the side of the road right now, it wouldn't take an expert to know just what was going on inside.
because both your deep moans and grunts are echoing throughout the car. your heavy breathing and sighs have fogged up the windows of the shaking car from your rolling and grinding and his thrusting to find that spot within you.
the spot he finds only a few minutes later that has you falling forward into the crook of his neck, bouncing your wet heat on him because you hear his strangled breathing and loud grunts until the familiar hot feeling of him releasing inside you has moans ripping out of your chests in unison.
it takes a while for your breathing to turn even, for your shaking legs to simmer and the ringing in his ears to stop. but when it does, he kisses the top of your head still buried in the crook of his neck and gently places you in the seat next to him.
he fumbles with the glove compartment and takes out a wipe, gently dabbing between your legs as you lay your head back on the leather seat.
"you okay?" he quietly laughs out seeing you still in a post-orgasm daze.
"i'm....good, great," you say, a laugh bubbling out of you before shyly thanking him for cleaning you. because even in the car, directly after an intense sex-crazed adrenaline rush, he still remembers aftercare. and you think if it was possible to fall in love with someone in a night, with a heart as fragile as yours, he'd be the person to make it happen.
"me too," he says quietly, throwing the wipe in the empty plastic bag before he looks over your face. "i...that was uh great, really great."
his face burns when you turn away to laugh into your shoulder, his deep of groan of "stop!" only making you giggle more. and like it wasn't the cause of what just happened in the first place, you mumble again that he's cute.
"also," you say, when your laugh and his red cheeks subside, "it'd probably be a good time to mention i'm on the pill."
6:49 a.m.
you're half asleep in the front seat of yunho's car, the familiar sounds of horns honking and the bustling city keeping you from falling into a full slumber. he had asked on the way back if he could bring you to one more place before you called it a night (even though the birds were chirping and sun was rising). and who were you to say no when he had smiled and asked so softly.
you pop your eyes open, hands under your cheek as you watch him silently bob his head to the soft music. he's at a red light, one hand atop the steering wheel as he looks over to see you staring.
"hey sleepy," he says, reaching out to fix your slightly messy hair. "i'm sorry, i know you're tired but we're almost there."
"s'okay," you mumble, meeting his soft eyes with a smile, "i don't wanna leave you yet anyway."
"oh no?" he hums softly and his heart tightens when you sees a shy blush cross your face.
"i didn't mean to say that," you sigh out sleepily and his small chuckle rings through the car.
"i was hoping you did," he says, hand moving from your head to pink cheek, "because i don't wanna leave you yet either."
the sound of a honk promptly ruins the moment, yunho's eyes moving to squint into the mirror before he drives off. you giggle as you shut your eyes again, burrowing yourself further into the leather.
he shakes you awake a few moments later, his hand on your shoulder as he looks down at with you soft brown eyes.
"we're here."
"where?" you mumble, sitting up and peaking out the window to see a small bakery.
"let me show you."
he gets out and meets you around the passenger side door, opening it for you and extending his hand out to you; you take it without a second thought and he smiles as he intertwines your fingers.
you walk up to the bakery door, the fresh smell of baked bread wafting through the empty store. the faint welcome from the worker is drowned out as your eyes peer over the shelves, bread and cookies and cakes lined up behind the streak-free glass.
you look up at him curiously when he leads you over to the cakes, tightening his hold on your hand when you guys stop in front of the display.
"pick anything you want."
you cock your head to the side before your eyes roam over the selection, squinting your eyes to read the script in front of every pastry when a tiny gasp escapes your lips.
"is that a-"
"tiramisu cheesecake," he confirms, "i heard it's really good here."
you stare at the glass as your heart tightens in your chest and you can't believe you have any tears left to sting behind your eyes today. but you don't wanna cry, even if they're happy tears, so it's why you lean your head against his arm and press your lips into a firm line.
"and i don't know if it's as good as that one," he says lowly, "but i figured it could hold you over until we....until you go back."
you lift your head to stare at him and he pouts upon seeing the one on your face. but before he can ask what's wrong or if he overstepped, your arm is wrapped around his body as you press your head into his chest.
"thank you," you choke out, "i....thank you." because if you try to say anymore, your hope that not even happy tears escape your eyes will be gone to shit.
and it's like he knows that. so he presses his lips to the top of your head and asks for a slice, your body still attached to his when he pays and ushers you out to the car.
and that's where you tell him you're so thankful for this cake but you also wanna enjoy the other one too. and at first he doesn't understand, his eyebrows furrowed together as he nods his head hesitantly.
"so i was thinking....maybe not this week, so i don't show up with a new boy right away...but next week, maybe we can go to-"
"yes," he blurts out and a big smile makes its way on your face when you see he can barely hold back his excitement. and he doesn't even care too.
because as he takes you home, you excitedly talk it over and exchange numbers. and he's quick to tell you you can start out as friends first, that he doesn't expect anything from you and will take this new found relationship at whatever pace you decide to set.
but you hope the smirk you throw his way shows him that you know within a few weeks time, you'll completely forget about the boy who made you so upset and dropped you into his lap, now filling you with such an excited, hopeful feeling even in your sleep deprived state.
you direct him to your apartment building and you thank him again for the night, sweet smiles and lingering gazes as you both delay separating.
but because that time has come, you gather your cake and open the door after teasing him that he better not get out and do it for you.
"so, i'll see you next week?" you ask quietly, a small shy smile on your face.
"next week," he says, watching you with a smile and light heart as you barrel up your apartment stairs and he gives himself two hours before his fingers start itching to text you.
1K notes · View notes
Text
Teenage Dirtbag PT.3 (K.S.)
Sorry for the delay guys! I should really get a more regular posting schedule for this, but for now it’s just as I get parts written lol If anyone would be interested in being added to a taglist, let me know! Enjoy some building angst 😉
Tumblr media
(suggestion of smut, mentions of alcohol, cursing)
You and Kyle were jerked awake by the sound of banging on the door.
“Wake up and get dressed!” called a voice, making rounds to clear out their house of all the overnighters.
It took you a second to gain your bearings through the hangover. You were naked in a room you didn’t recognize with your ex-boyfriend who was also naked. Fantastic.
Kyle groaned and rubbed his eyes harshly, clearly on the same page. Avoiding eye contact, you both got up and searched for your clothes that were thrown about the room. Though the tension was nearly unbearable, the thought of talking about what had happened made your already nauseous stomach so somersaults.
“Do you need a ride?” You were surprised he was the first to speak. You looked up at him, watching as he pulled his shirt over his head. You hated how attracted to him you still were.
“No, I drove with- oh shit.” Missy. You’d completely forgotten. You snatched your coat up off the floor and pulled your phone from your pocket hurriedly. Thankfully, there was a text from her last night:
‘Getting a ride home from Kelly, hope you’re okay xx’
You sighed in relief, holding your aching head for a moment. Everything was spinning.
“You don’t look too good. Maybe I should drive you home,” Kyle pressed, spinning the ring on his thumb, a tick of his you’d come to recognize.
“Okay.” You really didn’t want to, but you also knew he was right about you not being able drive safely like this.
He unblocked the door, and you followed him out. The house was trashed. People were passed out on the floor while others stepped over them trying to clean up half empty cups of liquor and the remnants of a silly string war.
He was parked in the back where the band had performed the night before. Only then did it dawn on you that that was why he was at the party. You climbed into the passenger side of his old beater, wishing like hell that you could just drive yourself home. Too much had happened in that car for you to not feel just the slightest bit disgusted with yourself for finding yourself right back there again.
He flicked on the radio, his favorite jazz cd filling the silence between you. All the little things you thought you’d made up in your mind to make him more endearing in your memories were right there in front of you. You fought so hard to hate him, to remember all the pain he’d put you through. Yet, you still ached for him to reach over and hold your hand like he used to.
‘God, Missy is going to kill me.’
Pulling up in front of your dorms, Kyle put the car in park and looked over at you. He spun his ring, looking down. Never before had you seen him look so shy.
“I uh..”
“Thanks for the ride. I’ll give you a call and we can talk later, okay?” you interrupted, sparing you both from his struggle to find words.
“O-okay. Sounds good,” he replied, looking up to meet your eyes. You sat looking back at him for half a second before climbing out of the car and heading into the building, not looking back. To say you felt shaken was an understatement. You hurried to your dorm, trying to slip in quietly in case Missy was still sleeping. Should you be so lucky.
She sat cross-legged on her bed sipping from a mug of coffee and staring judgmentally at you over the brim. “Coffee is still hot if you want some.”
You hung up your coat, not saying anything as you poured yourself a mug and reached for the aspirin, awaiting the incoming ass-chewing.
“Kyle Scheible. Again. Because it went so well the first time.”
“We just fooled around, Missy. It didn’t mean anything. We were both drunk,” you said defensively, though you weren’t sure who you were trying to convince.
She sighed. “Look, I’m not your mom. I’m not going to lecture you. Just think about it.”
“Nothing to think about,” you deflected with a little shrug. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”
You gathered up your things, saying a quick goodbye as you left the dorm to go wash last night’s events from your skin and hopefully ease your headache. Fortunately, the showers were almost empty this late in the morning, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Glimpses of the night before came back to you as you slipped out of your clothes. The less you wore, the more bruises and scratches you found. You felt.. wrong. It felt wrong that no matter how much you over thought the events of the night before, you didn’t feel much regret for what had happened. Stepping under the hot stream of water, you let out a contented sigh, feeling your tense muscles relax. ‘What do I have to feel bad about?’ you rationalized. He had initiated. You tried to fathom what his game was. Perhaps there was no game. Maybe it was just sex. You washed away what little remained of your makeup, feeling a bit deflated. You decided to rest that afternoon, and then decide whether or not you would call him.
However, when you got back to your room and checked your phone, there was already a text from him waiting for you:
“Let’s meet at the park instead. Hate talking on the phone. 8 work?”
You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Yeah, that’s fine.” You should have known you were going to get out of this that easily.
++++++
After spending the afternoon in bed relaxing around the dorm, you got up and got dressed to go out and meet up with Kyle. Needless to say, you’d been thinking about it all day. Would you guys be able to finally talk about things, or would this just be another screaming match? Did he even want to talk? What was his endgame? You had no clue. Even worse, you weren’t sure what you wanted out of meeting up with him. You looked into the mirror, tugging your high collared shirt a bit higher to try and cover the dark marks he’d left. After slipping on your shoes, you wrote a quick note to let Missy know you were going out once she got back from her class. You spared details knowing they would just make her worry. A deep breath and then you were out the door.
When you arrived at the park, you spotted Kyle’s car tucked away behind a grove of trees. You rolled your eyes, parking next to him. You never did understand his paranoia over people knowing where he was. He watched as you hopped out of your car and into his passenger seat, a hand-rolled cigarette hanging from his lips.
“Hey,” you exhaled, your anxiety flaring. He was even harder to be next to when you didn’t have any alcohol in your system.
“Hey,” he replied, exhaling smoke out his cracked window before offering the cigarette to you. You took it, cracking your window and taking a pull. The tobacco he used always tasted so much better than the cheap Malls you bummed at parties. Kyle had been the first to introduce you to it all. You felt your nerves easy slightly, handing it back to him. He tapped it in the ashtray, looking over at you expectantly. “You wanted to talk?”
You voice caught in your throat. Shit. It had been you who had said you would call. “I-I mean I didn’t.. really have anything to say. I just.. thought we should.” You wiped your sweaty palms on your ripped jeans, avoiding his ever-intense gaze.
“About?”
You shot him a look, sensing him toying with you. He just looked right back at you. “Well, I mean the fact that we slept together last night, for starters.”
He cleared his throat, stubbing out the butt. He stayed quiet, reaching out and pulling your collar aside slightly to see the pink, purple imprint of his mouth. You watched his eyes darken. “It was good.”
You swallowed, drawing your knees together slightly. You wanted to ask him if he regretted it, but you knew that was never Kyle’s style. If it brought him pleasure in the moment, then it was always worth it no matter the consequences. “Yeah,” you breathed, distracted by his fingers brushing over the mark. You knew full well that what you had done was not “good,” but, God, it certainly had felt good. Feeling a bit panicky under his touch, you reached for the cigarette and took another pull. Your eyes met as he watched you carefully. You couldn’t miss the way his eyes drifted to your lips as you exhaled, smoke swirling gracefully between you and curling around his face.
Suddenly his hand was at your nape and his lips were on yours. Without the filter of alcohol this time, you were able to feel every ounce of his need for you. No matter why it was there, it made him absolutely magnetizing, and you just couldn’t resist. You kissed him back for no logical reason other than the fact that it felt so damn good. His free hand found your thigh, making you gasp softly and allowing him the chance to invade your mouth with his tongue. Your hands tangled into his curls. You noticed his hair was longer now. His hand tightened on your thigh, eliciting a soft whimper from you.
He pulled away, his eyes blown with lust. “Backseat?”
You didn’t even hesitate.
+++++
When it was all over, you were tucked under his arm and you were both covered by a thin blanket he’d had in his car for emergencies. The windows were fogged over, and you were both still trying to catch your breath. You couldn’t fathom how on earth you possibly had ended up back here again so easily. Sitting up, you began to pull your clothes back on.
“Y/N,” he called softly, halting your movements. You turned to look back at him, and he sat up, his hand sliding along your jaw as he pressed a lingering kiss to your lips. “That was so good.”
You couldn’t help but blush, a ghost of a smile on your lips as he continued peppering kisses along your neck and face. “Kyle.. I need to go,” you giggled ticklishly, lightly pushing him away. When he sat back, you were able to see he was smiling too. A wave of emotion washed over you, and you promptly realized how fucked you were. Your smile faded, and you hurried to finish getting dressed. Once you were fully dressed and he was decently, you popped open the door and slid out. You looked back to him, hesitating only a moment before you closed the door behind you and got back in your own car.
It wasn’t until you were almost home that you felt the tears falling down your cheeks.
721 notes · View notes
lavenderpearls · 3 years
Text
Some thoughts about Basta (and Capricorn)
I just saw a post about the Inkheart characters and how PTSD could be a possible explanation for Basta‘s behavior. And I had thoughts about it.
So I decided to share them, even though I have no idea if anyone is interested in this.
I think that PTSD is kinda a part of what’s going on with Basta. We know he had a rough childhood, wasn’t treated well by his parents or the people that were supposed to care for him back then. And later Fenoglio stated that Capricorn didn’t treat him much better. (And let’s be honest, we also see that Capricorn only „cares“ for him as long as he‘s useful). And then there’s all the other stuff, like that time he got both his arms burned or later when Mo read him, Capricorn and Dustfinger out of their world.
So yeah, he surely has been through a lot.
But while that would be enough to end up with PTSD, I think he fits the criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder a bit better.
According to the DSM-5 the symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder are
• Failure to confirm to social norms concerning lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest. (Do I even have to say anything here?Basta killed people, is the reason for Dustfingers scars, stole stuff, broke into houses, used to set things on fire, kidnapped people, all of this multiple times and in Inkspell it‘s literally mentioned that he was arrested after Capricorn died)
• Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure (Tbh this is more of a Capricorn thing, who also has ASPD imo, just a different subtype, but I‘ll get into that later)
• Impulsivity or failure to plan. (Throughout all the books Basta is CONSTANTLY doing impulsive stuff, and in Inkheart Capricorn literally said that this was a problem with him)
• Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults. (I can’t mention all the times this was the case, it would be too much)
• Having no regard for the safety of self or others. (Pretty self explanatory.)
• Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations (A little more difficult, because of the way the inkworld works and how Basta's life turned out in our world. He‘s never had a normal job. His job basically was being a criminal.)
• Lack of remorse, or inability to feel guilt, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another. (The times he killed people and didn’t give a shit? The fact that he had no problem with threatening children? Just to name a few things. He never really seemed to feel guilty for all the things he did. The only time he kinda feels bad about it is when he thinks this could cause problems for himself, like that time he made sure the cat in Meggies room could escape through the window. He didn’t care about the cat. He was worried that it would bring bad luck to him to let it starve in there. Just as an example.)
So with all this we can be pretty sure he has ASPD.
But there’s more to unpack.
One of the criteria for the disorder is that these or at least similar antisocial behaviors already occurred before the age of 15. We don’t know exactly if they did, but I think we can assume it. If I remember it correctly Fenoglio mentioned that Basta was younger than Meggie, wo was 12 at that time, when Capricorn took him in. And probably not because he felt sorry for the boy, but because he saw something in him that could be useful later.
Speaking about Capricorn. I said that I’m sure he also has ASPD. But he’s pretty different from Basta. At least in some ways. He’s so cold most of the time, much less impulsive, he’s able to plan ahead and also to control a bunch of other criminals.
To make this a little shorter, there’s a lot of different theories about this that include different subtypes, but one basically says that you can somewhat put people with ASPD in two different groups.
The ones that are cold, more rational and manipulative (like Capricorn) and the ones that are more openly aggressive and impulsive, like Basta. (That’s also where people sometimes draw the line between psychopaths and sociopaths, even though there‘s also a little more to that, but I‘m not gonna get into it now cause this text is already ridiculously long)
But to stay with all this 'subtype of ASPD'-stuff for a little longer - you might wonder at this point where Basta's superstitions and his constant fear of bad luck fits into all this. And I have a theory for that as well.
Malignant Narcissism. A syndrome first described by Otto Kernberg. It’s, to keep it short, a mix of narcissistic personality disorder (which btw very often appears together with ASPD) and ASPD.
It’s, apart from all the stuff I mentioned earlier, characterized by sadism (remember how Basta actually enjoys threatening people, how he likes to tell stories about all the awful stuff he and others did in detail, watching people get uncomfortable, etc? Sounds pretty sadistic to me.) AND paranoia. He’s constantly afraid something bad is gonna happen. But this could also be due to some OCD that he might have as well. (I gotta say this here, with personality disorders it’s not uncommon for people to have multiple ones that overlap. That’s what often makes it so hard to give a proper diagnosis.)
But what’s more interesting to me is that malignant narcissists, while usually not caring about anyone but themselves and being unable to maintain healthy relationships with others (remember when Dustfinger was hiding in Bastas house and mentions that Basta has literally no friends?), can show some sort of loyalty to a few people. Which is the case for Basta, since he‘s incredibly loyal to Capricorn.
So while generally being a pretty awful person, Basta has, at least somewhat, the ability to care about a selected few individuals.
Which I think is also the reason why there’s more fanfiction about him than Capricorn. Capricorn doesn’t care about anyone. He doesn’t even care about his own mother, or Resa, who was known to be his favorite of out all the maids. As soon as she caused problems for him, he decided to get rid of her. So with him, there’s a lot less to explore and to work with.
And, something more general about ASPD, it‘s as far as we know at this point, usually caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors, such as neglect or abuse during childhood.
And Capricorn is a great example for this, since the genetic and environmental factors are both definitely there. We know his father used to beat him, and Mortola displays a lot of ASPD symptoms herself.
And for Basta, it was mentioned that he was a very unhappy child. Sadly we don’t know anything about his parents or what exactly happened during his childhood. (Maybe we could ask Cornelia about his parents in the next livestream?)
There’s still more I could talk about, for example some interesting studies about ASPD and reactions to fear that would also apply to both Basta and Capricorn, just in different ways or how ASPD works in general, but maybe I‘ll make a different post about that sometime.
Also feel free to tell me what you guys think about this, it‘s super interesting and I bet there’s even more to say that I haven’t talked about.
29 notes · View notes
petitprincess1 · 3 years
Text
My Roommate’s a Demonic Deer Ch8 (Still 4 Months Later)
AO3 Link Summary:  Alastor and Anthony both feel a bit of paranoia for this day out, but a small heart-to-heart (in their own way) puts them at ease. Words: 1,124 I AM SO SORRY. I know I explained the situation, which I will keep up for future readers, but I still feel really bad for making you guys wait. It's not a long chapter, but I feel like it's better than doing nothing at all. I really hope you guys enjoy! Warning: Mild paranoia and panic attacks. ~~~ Alastor felt himself slightly become paranoid at the thought of Anthony being near another person, especially one that he didn't know. ...Granted, he doesn't really know anyone that Anthony knew, but still! It made him feel...like he needed to guard him, keep an eye on him at all times.
…..Cherri could easily be working for  Valentino or even is trying to earn some money! Alastor's not being paranoid, it makes perfect sense! Anthony often could be closed off about those that hurt him, so it only makes sense that he just assumes Cherri is a friend. Yes...yes…
Al then shook himself off and sighed, saying to himself, "Alright...now, all I need is some form of a disguise. I refuse to wear the awful clothing they have nowadays, however." ~~~ Anthony rocked on his heels as he waited for Alastor or Cherri to appear, wearing his crop top still, but switched the sweatpants for some shorts. He wasn't expecting the deer man to even say yes to the idea, if anything he thought the demon would have him grovel. The bastard seemed like the kind of jerk to do that. Then again, he had been a bit nicer to him ever since the story. Maybe...things were turning around?
The boy thought for a second before snorting, "Fuck no! That asshole jus' wanted me ta shut up or-"
He then flinched at feeling his phone buzz and his heart dropped. A slight choked feeling came about him as he took out his phone from his pocket, shaking while doing so. The Italian's eyes were closed as he unlocked his phone and opened an eye slightly. A huge relief waved over him at seeing Cherri text him, "Out front of this dump, waiting for ya, Angie!"
The freckled, spunky girl also had a picture of herself with her tongue sticking out and holding up a middle finger. Anthony felt so dumb for getting so worried. He knew Val rarely texted, but….the silence was unnerving. Who knows what that fucking sociopath was gonna do to him when he came back. Hell, who's to say that he won't even be there or anywhere!? ...Maybe going out was a bad idea. Yeah, he can always just back out. A quick text is all he needed to. A text and he'll be perfectly sa-
"Are we ready to go, my dear fellow?" Alastor’s chipper voice broke Anthony out of his panicked state. He took a deep breath and turned around, looking up instinctively, "Yeah, yeah. Cherri's out…."
He trailed off when he didn't see the normally tall deer demon and instead saw a dark-skinned man. Anthony figured it was still Al, since he was sharply dressed in a button-down shirt and slacks and had a large grin on his face, but it was still shocking. He….He was shorter than him!
The lad waved his hand over the top of his head and Al's black, coiffed hair multiple times. Granted, it was only like an inch or two of difference, but it was an immense change from the seven foot demon. Anthony did this a few more times, only because he could see the annoyed twitch in Alastor's grin. The disguised demon asked, fixing his glasses and taking a deep breath, "Are you quite done?"
Anthony blinked at him and did it one more time, snorting at the light red glow in his eyes. He grinned, "Hey, don't get mad at me! I'm jus' shocked ya actually got yerself a human disguise and one dat's actually fashionable, ya know?" Alastor blinked at him and whispered, "I can still cut open your stomach and rip out your entrails like a magician pulling scarves, you know?"
The lad just waved him off as he went walking out the door, "Enough cute flirtin', Al. Cherri's waitin' fer us! I think yer gonna like her, 'specially since ya adore me~"
He winked at Al before leaving out into the hall with a chuckle. Anthony ended up missing Alastor becoming so comically flustered that his ears and tail appeared on his body. The disguised demon mumbled a curse at his magic betraying him and wondering why it was even acting such an odd way. ~~~ When the two were in the main lobby, Alastor grabbed Anthony's forearm, stopping him before he could make any sexual joke, "Are you alright? I felt you become...uneasy before I asked if you were ready."
Anthony’s grin immediately dropped as he looked away and muttered, "I'm alright, Al. Geez, I'm startin' ta think ya got some- hey!"
He shouted at feeling Alastor’s grip tighten and the man narrow his eyes at him, the smile on his face becoming more strained. The boy's eyes narrowed, as well, and he huffed, practically yelling, "I'm fine! Jus' was worried about Val, dat's all! It's really no big deal, Alastor! Don't gotta worry 'bout me when I'm jus' bein' fuckin' stupid and actin' like a pussy!"
Alastor's previous worries about Cherri working for Valentino slightly diminished, since he also felt sudden relief from Anthony. However, he still had a weird nagging in the back of his mind. Either way, the disguised demon released Anthony’s arm and told him gently, "I know I don't...but that's why I do. You don't have to worry. I'm here."
Anthony seemed shocked at the response and even somewhat flattered. He cleared his throat and mumbled, looking at the floor, "Uh, well...thanks, I guess." Al nodded, "Of course. After all, why would I want to feel like a mess all day because you can't keep your silly, petty emotions in check."
"Yeah, well, fuck ya too, Smiles!"
The two stared at one another before chuckling, clearly showing this was all just fun games. Suddenly, a freckled girl with wild hair appeared at the entrance, poking her head in and shouting, "Yo, gaybirds! Get out here before I leave ya two!"
Anthony shouted back, "Yeah, we're on our way, tittums~!"
The girl practically cackled as she left out and Anthony went running towards the front door. Wanting to hurry but not feel too uncouth, Alastor just quickly walked towards the entrance. The landlady shouted out to Anthony, "Don't be bringing any mud into this damn place, Anthony! You'll be cleanin' it up!"
The boy shouted as he left out, "Suck my left tit, Karen!"
Before Alastor could leave as well, the landlady advised, "Oh, young man, please do be careful how you act outside. It may be normal for the boy, but some might be frightened by your...talents and protective nature."
Al stared at the woman for a few seconds before nodding, "Of course, milady! I wouldn't dream of ruining le cafard's day out."
23 notes · View notes