#little vent sorry but i think im actually struggling

[maudiemoods]

Ok not cool why am I hearing voices

[ittybittybeastiebuddy]

The desperate yet guilty anxiety that comes from having to essentially beg for accommodations from my college professors is an emotion I wish I was less familiar with

[arthur-r]

lyrics: i’m a silly stupid angel, smile sweetly as you watch / and my wings are frail and brittle, and i whisper when i talk / please don’t remind me of the role i’m here to play / please god forgive me for the things that i can’t say / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / i’m your soulmate in denial, self esteem gets in the way / and i’m just a little child who won’t live to see the day / when i’m regarded as a human being too / but all your lies just start to blend into my truth / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / don’t try to tell me i’m not happy / don’t try to tell me this is wrong / don’t try to tell me that i’m broken / cause by now i’m too far gone / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment

[arsenicflame]

'im doing great!!!' <- had to read through old messages from their [????] to remind themselves that was a legitimate thing that happened and not just a delusion

[pebiejeebies]

Spoilers below!! Watch iii18 <33

DID ANYONE NOTICE ALL THE KINDNESS THAT WAS TOWARDS CABBY?? AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DID?!

*sry for these two agh—*

SORRY I HAD TO— LOOK AT THEM 😭😭‼️‼️

BACK TO THE RAMBLES

YOU GO BOT!! BEAT HIS ASS!!

LOOAAADDSS OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS I DIDNT EXPECT GETTING AFTER THIS EPISODE

Ramble below if you’re interested <3

OKAY SO WHAT-

THE AMMOUNT OF RECOGNITION, FORGIVENESS, AND LITERAL CONFUSION WITH CABBY’S GOOD AND BAD THINGS IN THIS EPISODE WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME

EVEN PAINTBRUSH, FAN, AND TESTTUBE, WHO WERE THE BIGGEST ENEMIES, WERE SLIGHTLY ON HER SIDE! AND EVEN SUPPORTED HER CHANGE!!

LIKE— AND WHEN BOT MENTIONED HOW HARD IT MUSTVE BEEN FOR CABBY TO REJOIN AFTER BEING ELIMINATED BY LITERALLY EVERYONE (MAINLY TESTTUBE) IS ACTUALLY TRUE

YOU REJOIN TO PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT TO SEE YOU TALK OR EVEN BREATHE AFTER WHAT YOU DID, THEN YOU START AN ALLIANCE TO KEEP YOURSELF IN THE GAME WITH SO MUCH HATE AIMED TOWARDS YOU WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL GET ELIMINATED TOO—

THEN SHE SLOWLY AND STEADILY STARTS TO WALK ON THE RIGHT PATH!! SHE NOTICED HER WRONGS, AND STARTED WITH YINYANG, SHE MADE A HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP! AND THEN BOT! TWO HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS THAT SHE DIDNT EXPECT TO EVEN FIGHT FOR HER SAKE

THE SHOCK IN HER FACE WHEN YINYANG, CLOVER, AND BOT WERE CONFUSED ABOUT HER BAD SIDE WAS LITERALLY HEART WARMINGGGG IM GONNA EXPLODE

WORST PART? SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THAT ANYONE IS PROTECTING HER IN THAT JAIL!! SHE KNOWS THAT SHE MADE TOO MUCH OF A WRONG AND DOESNT THINK ANYONE WOULD FIGHT FOR HER!! (Other than balloon,, yikes man,, only two votes 😭)

Okay but let’s be fr, we all collectively got angry from Nickel in this scene right?? RIGHT????

LUCKYYYYYYY??? LUUUUUUUCCCCKKKYYYYYY???? ME OH MY. ME AND CABBY HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON, AND THATS NEVER LUCK! EVEN IF HE DOESNT KNOW THAT SHE STRUGGLED, THAT DOESNT GIVE HIM ANY RIGHT TO DESTROY SOMEONE ELSES STRUGGLES BY COMPARING THEM TO OTHERS!! YES I GET IT, HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

BUT THIS IS JUST.. PATHETIC 😭

HE’S TRYING TO MAKE BALLOON WIN WHEN IN REALITY, NOBODY AGREES, AND HIM FIGHTING FOR BALLOON ENDS UP BY HIM SAYING ACTUAL BULLSHIT AFTERWARDS

YEAH WE GET IT, YOU LOVE BALLOON AND ADMIRE HIS CHANGE, BUT NICKEL, ONLY YOU NOTICED. HES ANGRY THAT NOBODY CARES WHEN THEY ALL HAVE A POINT!!

THEY ONLY SAW THE BAD SIDES OF BALLOON, AND NOT TO MENTION, BALLOON AND NICKEL!! THESE TWO TORE UP POOR BOT AND DIDNT EVEN SAY MUCH TO THEM!

I admire your care for them Nickel, but actually fucking wake up. Like please, get over your blindness and realize that literally NOBODY saw his arc and how he changed

WOOH. That was a slight vent there lmao.. guess who hates nickel guys…

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, THE OVERALL FUSS WITH CABBY IS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME! LOOK AT HER, SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THAT BOT AND YINYANG ARE FIGHTING THEIR SOULS OUT TO MAKE HER WIN 😭😭‼️

*ahem look at balloon here aweee <3*

AND LIKE.. THAT SAYS SO MUCH ABOUT HER GUYS, SHE’S HURT, AND SHE KNOWS SHE HURT OTHERS, AND SHE FULLY EXPECTS EVERYONE TO VOTE BALLON OR SILVER OVER HER, NOT KNOWING THE TWO PEOPLE SHE HELPED ARE ACTUALLY HELPING HER BACK AND HELPING OTHERS REALIZE THE VERY SHINY OBVIOUS CHOICE FOR THE WINNER!!

THINK ABOUT IT, BALLOON? HE DID GREAT, BUT HE TOOK, JUST A LITTLE TOO LONG TO CHANGE, AND HIS CHANGE WASNT NOTICED BECAUSE LITERALLY EVERYONE WAS ELIMINATED, AND/OR WAS HIDDEN BEHIND THE FIGHTS THAT NICKEL AND BALLOON HAD! NOBODY SEES ANYTHING IN HIM BECAUSE OF THIS, AND PROBABLY NOBODY WILL VOTE HIM OTHER THAN NICKEL AND GOO (Which I think personally, goo is only voting balloon because of his poetry, which.. really says something about balloon don’t you think?)

Now SILVERSPOON?? DO I EVEN NEED TO TALK?! HIS FAT FUCKING EGO LITERALLY TORE UP FRIENDSHIPS, MANIPULATED, HURT, AND PROBABLY FUCKING KILLED HIS WIFE

DO I NEED TO CONTINUE ON HIM? NO, IM SURE EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT IM SAYING. RIGHT..??

Maybe I love seeing myself (a cabby kin) get recognition after all the struggles she goes through, but let’s be fr, Balloon? Not really, SILVERSPOON?? HELL FUCKING NO.

That’s why BOT and YINYANG WERE FRUSTRATED!!!! They’re all blind to his fucking ‘Inner flame’ or whatever, which then led his wife, and probably Mephone into so much more fucking trouble. And that infuriates the two that literally lasted so long and saw her grow from each challenge!

They’re frustrated because the obvious option is being pushed away by silver-spoon, again, with the manipulation and the tricks! AGAIN!! to try and win something that you don’t deserve (which is nothing, so like yeowch) is kinda frustrating

As much as I want cabby to win, what will she win? After all this struggle she went through, watching everyone villainize her, as she thought she was genuinely caring to help her team, and to barely survive the votes with yinyang, which then got eliminated, she then struggled to fix her friendship with bot, who both shared an equal struggle with testtube

The actual fact that bot is literally fighting their mom is wild, EVEN FAN EXPECTED THEM TO FORGIVE EACH OTHER!!

But after all of this, she really didn’t win anything

if we remove her boyfriend, (yinyang) and bff forever and ever (Bot) she sorta doesn’t win much, which really sucks

But hey, even balloon has someone to talk to, imagine being silverspoon

Even if he wins, he will LITERALLY win nothing, and good golly gosh Test tube and Paintbrush I’d like to hear why the hecking heck you’d vote for him?? Seriously? All that flattery worked THAT well?!

They do know that he’s manipulating them.. RIGHHTTT??? MAYBE IM JUST VERY FRUSTRATED THAT NOT EVERYONE WANST THE OBVIOUS WINNER TO WIN BUT HEY IM NOT WRONG!!!

I’ll gladly fight with yinyang and bot for cabby‼️‼️‼️

Alright thanks for listening to my Ted talk. Farewell, and do tell me on what you think if you have something to share :D

[wannaeatramyeon]

i have a silly little (very angsty) idea but im not sure if its what you would be comfortable writing so please ignore this if youre not up for it!

im thinking of gun, goo, samuel, vasco, and eli (seperately + remove anyone u want if its too many) with a recovering addict reader who they thought was clean but had actually relapsed awhile ago and they find out (whether its bc reader ODs, they catch reader high, they find readers stash, whatever reason)

sorry if this is a sensitive subject, they j tend to help me a lot, thank you in advance whether you write it or not.

TW: Substance recovery

Hi Anon, I hope you are doing ok. Stay strong, you can do this. Please ping me if you ever want to talk or vent. I really wasn't sure about writing this because my experience is sorta limited. But hopefully this helps.

Lookism Boys helping with Recovery

Gun, Goo, Samuel, Vasco, Eli

You've felt the symptoms of withdrawal before; the cold sweat, the nausea, the shaking. This isn't the first time you tried to quit but you hoped it was the last.

However, all this was caused by your boyfriend standing in front of you. Your body violently registers what is in their hand before your brain can. Your stash, your just-in-case, and you want to throw up.

You slump to the floor, head hanging in shame. Too ashamed and guilty to meet their eyes, to find disappoint and anger at the promises you've broken.

Gun has seen a lot of things in his life so far. A lot of people addicted to a lot of things, and himself is no different. He thinks about the cigarettes in his pocket, and his own unhealthy obsession with fighting - that he is very willing to give his life up for.

With you, he understands the struggle, the pull. The battle everyday.

"Y/N," he says, crouching down next to you and taking your hand in his.

Your name is soft on his lips, and finally you meet his jet-black eyes. To your surprise you see no judgement.

Gun places a tender kiss on your forehead, "What can I do?"

"Princess-" Goo starts, and he can see you flinching. He can be unrelenting with his sharp words but he would never- Never with you, and never when you're so vulnerable.

His voice softens, "Have you been-"

He doesn't need to finish your sentence and you're already vehemently shake your head. You need to let Goo know that it's not what he thinks. You haven't been using, you've just been keeping that around.

And now you think about the words to explain yourself, you realise how stupid that sounds.

The silence stretches.

"Hey," and Goo is next to you, an arm around your shoulder, "I want you around for a long time and a good time, ok?" He wipes the tears from your cheeks. "Your Goo-bear is here for you."

Samuel crouches down next to you, but you still can't bring yourself to look at him.

With careful hands, he tilts your face up to meet him and thumbs away your tears.

"You haven't?" he asks, and you say no, leaning into the comfort of his palm.

Samuel thinks about what he can do, and after a beat, announces that he's going to take some time off work. Your immediate thought is he's trying to keep an eye on you, he needs to babysit you, he doesn't trust-

"Y/N." And that stop your brain from spiralling. He knows you too well. "You're not alone."

Samuel presses a kiss to each of your eyelid, kissing the tears away, "I think we both deserve a break. Why don't we go away somewhere together?"

Old Vasco would react with anger and disbelief. Now, after talking to you, after educating himself, he tries. He really tries.

Something he had to do without Jace, or any of the Burn Knuckles because he wouldn't betray your trust like that.

And the more he reads, the more he understands. Sort of. Vasco still sees the world in black and white, but more and more shades of grey are entering.

"Is there more?" he asks, and you shake your head. "I'm just going to..." he trails off, binning everything he found before he seeks you out again.

It kills him to see you struggling, to struggle everyday. he wants to support you anyway he can.

"I'll never fully understand but. Y/N. I want to help."

Eli has made many mistakes in his life. He thinks about Heather, he thinks about Hostel, he thinks about Olly and his own drug use.

But you and him, that's not a mistake. That's so far from a mistake.

"I didn't know you were still using," and you hear the question in his voice. His desperation to prove him wrong

"I'm not!" You deny, and it's the absolute truth.

Not since Eli and not since Yenna. And with Eli, the unfortunate reality is that his love for you is contingent on this.

That he won't allow anything like this around his daughter, and you can't blame him.

"Y/N," and his eyes soften when you meet them, "I'm really proud of you."

[tcdamoving]

i'm eating up your hc analyses

speaking of the different charlotte units, i've been wondering if you have any thoughts on v19? she's by far one of the most confusing characters in my eyes. of course, i got that entire monologue about the entertainment industry, but her as a character i never fully understood. i've seen people water her down to just the author "complaining" about/to the audience, but she seems like so much more.

IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. but i'm getting to it now... after rewriting a lot of my original thoughts on the matter since im so happy you asked this

tl;dr v19 is a criticism on the entertainment industry/exploitation of angst and trauma, while also serving as a direct foils to charles and scarlett and being the ultimate downfall of both of them. #Girl

DISCLAIMER BEFOREHAND: V19 is absolutely the... hardest to talk about charlotte, for multiple reasons (how she talks with scarlett, the things she does talk about, her past and interactions with the house etc etc) and while a lot of the subject matter in her story is handled crudely, i don't think it is bad or intentionally malicious

i also think she is the charlotte etherane struggled to write the most since she has such a large role in the wider story but thats a whole different topic. she is kind of a mess! (said lovingly)

the rest of this is going underneath a cut. a lot of it is personal interpretation and therefore will not fit with other peoples views on v19/the plot

tw for canon-typical abuse suicide violence and mentions of rape/sa

V19 is likely one of the, if not the, first Charlotte unit. If not the first unit, then the first one to gain consciousness and awareness of living in the "False Realm" and of the true nature of the True Realm. She is also, for sure, the first Charlotte to discover Mother and the only Charlotte who has done permanent damage to The House without direct interference from Charles. Scarlett had to use the powers of The Oracle to help stop her

She can be seen manipulating the House, changing the nature of the False Realm itself, and similar things we only see Charles able to do. While Char-Scar.. uh... destroyed the realm, and Q84 wielded Mother's power, they both suffered drastic consequences for doing so (and, again, only were able to with the interference of Charles) and while V19 wasn't like, having a good time, she also wasn't possessed with the strength of an actual God or actively rotting away and dying

So we have her 1) Knowing the truth about the False Realm and Mother, 2) Able to wield the powers of Mother without dying, and 3) Wrecking so much havoc that The Oracle is willing to step in to help her (...While also gleefully ruining Scarlett's life in the process). Let's talk about how this ties into Charles (and the "True God")

(This is all being very generous, of course. We know that after the Wish is used, the Charlotte's die [as seen with Q84], but since we don't know V19's wish, all we can see is her wreaking havoc on everything and not dying or suffering for it the way everyone else has)

V19 hates Charles. While her speech is a heavy-handed commentary on the entertainment industry as a metaphor, in-universe it directly refers to Charles and how all the Charlotte's directly exist to be abused and harmed as little whump dolls for his own personal venting and vendetta against Scarlett. she is a big, personal "fuck you" to Charles.

....And similarly to the industry she talks about, she becomes him to gain power and escape from her abuse. She takes on the mantle of a "God," literally wears the same outfit as him and Umbrella Man/Father, strikes the same pose as him (the white eyes/smile), and changes and influences the story for her own whims/entertainment

she is a sufferer who perpetuates the same cycle of suffering to teach others a lesson, which is influenced by the incredibly flawed view Charles has on women and abuse, which extends to Scarlett.

While Char-Scar and Q84, both influenced by Charles, are represented by purity, V19 is the only one who isn't and gets grossly violent at points. She is not "pure," so she cannot be "helped" by Charles or Umbrella Man, or by Seth, and has to forge her own path forward through violence

...Bringing up her outfit again, how she is the only Charlotte who chooses to wear the black Oracle outfit, rather than being forced to wear it like Char-Scar? And how black tends to represent groundedness and reality, compared to white's delusion and purity?

She is not loved by her God, so she decides to take matters into her own hands when confronted

....and forces Scarlett to strangle her to death.

(I'm going to talk about this more in a different post, but V19 makes Scarlett kill her by straddling her and pinning her to the ground... V19 is a victim of rape... Yeah, you can make the connection.)

She is an incredibly nihilistic person, excited to show Scarlett how horrible the world they live in is and break her "illusion" of safety/happiness/peace.

And then, Scarlett decides to become a Charlotte, the a vessel that get exploited and abused by the False Realm and suffers horrifically for it. While she gets much more kinder endings than V19, she is still stuck in the same loop that V19 is.

She is proved wrong, of course, ending up in the same cycle as the rest of the Charlotte's. And when she does "break free," by becoming the Oracle, it is still not of her own will, and she is still lead by the hand by Umbrella Man/Charles... and she does become a murderer, by all technical terms.

She and her trauma and abuse are exploited for "entertainment"... AKA, for Charles, AKA for a game. (AKA how young women especially are used and exploited and just have to "put up with it")

(She and Q84 are very similar, in different directions. Q84 is the "pure little sister/daughter," while V19 is the impure, violent killer. Madonna-whore complex to the MAX! They kill equally, but since Q84 is based around his own views of purity (...and is influenced by Vincent and his personality, someone who he views as practically a God) and V19 is pretty directly influenced by Anri, someone who he struggles to connect and relate to and often villainizes, Q84 can be excused and V19 cannot. They're the Golden Child/Black Sheep. They both hate him.)

(She also shares a lot of similarities with Anri. Her body shape, the way she dresses, her "cruel/dismissive" as interpreted by the Eylers being revealed to either be directly untrue or a red herring, her trauma, the way she is treated by the Eylers, etcetera. She is impure to Charles in the same way that Anri is impure to him)

Scarlett directly mentions how she wonders if V19's wish was for Scarlett to become a Charlotte. If she was doomed to fall down a similar path.

Maybe, or maybe not. V19's existence leads to the fall of the House and of the False Realm. Her forcing Scarlett to "see the truth," leading to Char-Scar, leading to Q84's creation and Charles's suicide.

In the true ending of Childhood's End, Q84 kills Char-Scar, and her and Charles die together as The House and the False Realm self-destructs, and Mother dies.

V19 is the beginning of the end - "The One Who Began It All." Her actions directly lead to the death of The House. Everything you'd want to avoid in a Charlotte - mean, abused, and knowing of the true nature of The House. Under all circumstances, she should just be thrown to the side and left to die. But that's the point - the Charlotte's being abused and used as entertainment and, well, "torture porn" is what leads to the death of the False Realm, or "the industry" because one decides to fight back and take out everyone else with her.

It also shows to the instability of Charles's mind that one act of rebellion can be the catalyst to the death of everything. This is similar to how real-life abuse and exploitation work, with whistleblowers blowing abusive situations wide open. While Charles is not an abuser, he directly represents the cycle of abuse within the False Realm.

The Charlotte's are the "Perfect Girl" to Charles. They have to live up to his standard, or they are gotten rid of. While this is usually portrayed through Mother/Lilith's real-life neglect, Charles also enacts this violence upon the Charlotte's, whether intentionally or not. See how he wanted to hurt Char-Scar but gave it up because of how "good" and "kind" she was.

V19 was not perfect, so she did not get the same kind of treatment. She was allegedly crude, mean, and erratic. She was abused and assaulted by her classmates. She wasn't a sweet, kind, little girl. So, as revenge, she brought the entire House down with her.

She destroyed False Realm. If I had to wager, I would say that was her wish.

anhyways stream the #1 v19 song

i really hope this all makes sense LMFAO i got off track a lot and had to rewrite a lot of parts to make it more coherent + repeat a lot

[multiplicity-positivity]

hey! its it ok if i just speak here a bit? feel free to delete if not

i’m a syskid but i feel like i don’t really relate to most things for littles, as i’m very independent and generally a bit older than most stuff is aimed at (i’m between 11-13). i have all of the body’s memories, even if i can’t think about certain things, so i can come off even older to outsiders combined with our autism and general not remembering being that age

our system struggled a lot with being taken seriously when we were my age, so i dont really front much or interact with little-focused spaces mainly because they feel demeaning to all of us. luckily irl i mainly just look like we’re being Extra Autistic. mainly i struggle with both wanting to be treated like the age i actually am while still being independent. i want to be able to do colouring pages and make potions and speak like i want to and still have people respect my ability to think for myself. looking at content aimed at a general little audience feels like all the worst parts of being a kid, and i know that most of it is made for younger kids by systems with littles, but it still annoys me that there isn’t really a “mainstream” tag or term for people like me that isn’t 90% sanrio aesthetic binkies and advice posts covered in clip-art which always have “get an adult to help” with basic tasks. I just want a well-known term that doesn’t make people immediately think im a toddler that needs hand-holding through everything, or that i’m faking because i sound “too old” to be a sys-kid.

at least i have my family and partner system, who are very good about supervising without telling me what to do, sorry if this made no sense

- Mae (no pronouns / name-as-pronouns), with help from mom

Hi, Mae! We have a syskid in our system who’s 11, and your experience really resonates with them! It was also really felt by our host, who is 14 (and cofronting right now). It’s true there aren’t many spaces for systeens, systweens, or middles that we know of, and that really is a tragedy. You mentioned you wish there was a well-known term for littles like you, and any of those words (systeens, systweens, or middles) may apply!

There really should be more representation for older syskids out there… If any of our followers run or maintain a space for systeens/systweens/middles on Tumblr, please feel free to reach out. We would love to put together a blog like this, but that may be a bit much for us to take on (what with our like 12 other sideblogs and all!).

Best of luck to you though, Mae! You seem like a bright kid, and we’re sorry you’ve been struggling to be taken seriously! You’re always welcome to vent or ramble to us here, and we’ll do our best to listen and provide support. Take care, and have a great day!!

🌸 Margo and 💫 Parker

[ang1essspartn3rrr]

OMG NEW WRITER >w< HIII!!!!

can i request found family au with kirumi and kokchi? Gender pf readwr up to you, and they can be both seperate or the same family lmao

btw random trivia thing: why did u start this account? whats ur reason for writing? im just curious, u dont hafta answer ^w^

Kirumi Tojo/Kokichi Ouma x Reader (Platonic) - Found Family AU

Aaaaa a request lets goooooo

Thank you for the wonderful request AND the wonderful trivia question!! My reasoning isn't really interesting, I was bored lol. I also want to improve my writing skills, keeping a character 'in character' is a bit of a struggle for me. I adore the found family troupe!! I tried my best to make it seem like you and the characters in question were actual platonic family and not just very close friends, I’m not sure if I succeeded or not. Sorry if it's not to your liking... If you want me to change it just say so!!!

Kirumi Tojo

- Kirumi, being the Ultimate Maid, is always helping people out with their requests, but she seems to always pester you specifically about demands

- If you’re thirsty, she’ll make you a cup of tea. If you’re hungry, she’ll make you a full course meal. If you’re sick, she’ll literally baby you. Even if you told her that you didn’t need her to help you so much, she’ll just continue doing it calling it “her duty as a maid”

- Of course she won’t do things that she knows will make you uncomfortable but it’s very common for her to decline your refusal 

- SHE'LL GLADLY TUCK YOU INTO BED AND READ YOU A BEDTIME STORY...JUST SAYING

- Kirumi does put effort into everybody’s requests and she does put people above herself (usually) but you're her number one. She puts you above everybody else, making your requests a lot more important to her

- Sometimes you try to hang out with her, have a normal conversation. It’s a bit of a struggle. She will take that as another request even if you said it wasn’t one

- Congratulation!! You managed to get her to hang out with you!! Maybe you’re playing video games or maybe even board/card games with her. Perhaps you two are doing something the one of you enjoys or maybe you’re just talking to one another. Either way, she’ll always listen to you no matter what you’re talking about and she’ll make the activity you both are doing ten times better

-  Kirumi doesn’t like being called “mom” since she isn’t even old, but one time you called her a “big sister” which was a nice compliment to her. Even if it was a joke it still made her smile sweetly at the nickname

- She isn’t the type to joke around much but if you continued to call her the nickname above I can imagine her calling you “little sibling/brother/sister” in return

- Whenever you’re sad, she’ll listen to you talk (if you want to talk) before giving you advice while preparing you a nice drink

- Speaking of advice, it’s pretty much canon that she’s good at giving advice. Top tier advice always. 

- She is an amazing mother/sister!! The people around you keep calling you her child-

- It’s rare for Kirumi to show when she's sad. If you somehow manage to let her express her feelings she'd like for you to listen. You don't even have to be looking at her just the thought that somebody is willing to listen to her vent is good enough for her

- Overall, she loves you and she basically adopted you lol. Sorry not sorry. She's an amazing person to be around and she thinks that you're an amazing person as well!!!

Kokichi Ouma

- He will drag you EVERYWHERE. No matter where he's going you're coming along, no "buts"

- Ouma loves doing the most bizarre things with you. It doesn't have to be a crime but it's definitely something most people would rather not do. If you're more of the anxious type then he'd try to tone it down a bit while still doing something "dangerous", but if you are completely fine with his terrible ideas then off you two go

- You two are the duo everybody fears lol

- I have a feeling that he'd pull more pranks on you then the others. But don't worry!! Prank him back and then he'd be sitting in his room for the next 24 hours trying to think of a way to get you back. A great way to make him shut the fuck up/j

- He'd also be less gentle with his nicknames. Don't worry, he has a line he won't cross so he won't personally attack you

- Whenever you two are hanging out, playing a game for example, he would make it a challenge to beat you at it

- If you lost, good luck because you won't hear the end of it. He'd brag about it to EVERYBODY. The whole world knows you lost to him once in that one game. If you won, on the other hand, he'd get all angry, start crying, say that "you're not his big sis/bro/sib anymore!!" and continue talking to you 10 minutes later like nothing happened

- Kokichi is a jokester, but he will be serious when he has to. He'd give you a big ol hug and start talking about how everything will be okay if he sees you crying

- When he's sad, he's good at hiding it. But you don't have the title of "older sibling" for no reason. I can imagine him also liking a hug and for you to comfort him, the same way he does to you

- You're the one taking care of him. If Kirumi is too busy to make food, he'd order you to make the food for him. Same for things like when he's sick

- He might be very annoying but it's never boring when he's around. You're guarantee to laugh and have fun!!

- Ah yes, two wonderful children and a mother that's the same age as her kids-

Kirumi Tojo/Kokichi Ouma

- The image of you and Ouma sitting on chairs holding a fork in one hand and a knife in the other while Kirumi is placing the food down on the table is so funny to me. MAYBE YOU TWO WEARING BIBS-

- As I said earlier, Kirumi doesn't like to be called a "mother" but oh-boy does everybody call her a mother. People like to tease you and Kokichi for being "mommies children"

- She will put you both above her and will always tolerate you two

- Same for Kokichi. D.I.C.E. is his family, but so are Tojo and you. He has two platonic families!!! Maybe one day they'll fuse, who knows

- The three of you are always together, it's really cute

<3333

- Honestly if you have a "found family" relationship with both Kirumi Tojo and Kokichi Ouma I am very jealous, and also congrats because it's literally amazing and the best family you could ever ask for <33

[lawnmowereater]

not sure if u done anything like this but aizawa having a sibling or daughter. Like a younger sister or daughter who he teaches and do some type of angst with them. Like him not paying much attention to her or she’s caught doing something (like smoking,drugs). Something like that. Thank you

Aizawa Catching His Younger Sibling Sm-king

Authors Note: yes i can, thank you for requesting! and sorry if this is bad. (also this is not my gif)

Warnings: Sm-king

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Gn! Reader

your aizawas little sibling, and your in his class.

and recently, youve picked up sm-king

but sm-king isnt allowed in the building, so you have to do it secretly

and today is no different

your just chilling in your dorm, sitting in the window and sm-king

your thoughts are racing a million miles an hour, and this feels like the only way to calm them down

but you're hacking and coughing a lot, no matter how hard you try not to

its 1 am though, so you think that nobody is awake to hear you

except a tired hero, who just got done grading papers named aizawa

hes walking back to his dorm to go to bed

and he passes a dorm room, that smells awful, like skunk

he hears somebody coughing, pretty badly

and he knows that the person inside that dorm isnt sleeping

he opens the door slightly, to see whos inside

and he sees you, his own little sibling, sm-king on the window sill.

almost immediately, he runs up and grabs the thing that you're sm-king (i know nothing about dr-gs sorry)

your startled and by instinct, you go to swing at him

but right before you hit him, you see aizawas concerned and angry face staring right at you

"kid, what the f-ck are you doing?"

hes actually really pissed, but hes too tired to show it

you try to tell him that its just a one time thing, but aizawa can see all the used dr-gs all around the room (again in sorry i dont know anything about drugs)

"i know damn well that this isnt a one time thing, dont lie to me. why are you doing this?"

your shocked. you thought that aizawa would yell and scream at you for sm-king, but hes just worried

eventually, you just let everything out

you vent about everything that's been bothering you, how you got the dr-gs, how you used them, etc

and aizawa just listens, without a single judgmental look or saying

and when your finished, aizawas eyes look glassy with tears.

but hes holding them back for you

"thats awful, im sorry that i wasnt here for you. but, you know that dr-gs are the best way to deal with this, right?"

you nod your head slowly

"but, its too late now. and im going to help you. im here for you, and im not leaving"

you look at him confused and you ask him how

"im gonna help you quit, and you are not in this alone.. i know that i havent been the best older brother, and im sorry. but i will not allow you to struggle with this alone for any longer"

he rubs your head and tries to give you an empathic smile, but hes not great at it

aizawa takes out his phone and together, you research good ways to quit.

[setsunatekiblast]

sorry this is like fully just insane babble and a look into truly how fucking weird i am in the head im really considering making a blog JUST for venting but im too lazy to do that rn

so like general rundown for context

i did some really downright shitty things as a teenager as a result of unresolved trauma in basically every corner of my life at the time (obviously this doesnt absolve me from what happened). when i was told about the extent of it i apologised and distanced myself & never talked to anyone involved ever again.

months later when i expressed that a former friend who had (in my opinion, rightfully) stepped in to stop the situation from worsening had caused me harm prior to all this and that it was still impacting me on my private account, it was leaked to her. i was threatened with a callout post and she was acting like i wasnt truly sorry for the things i'd done/trying to change even though i had done my level best to be accountable for my behaviour and do what was asked of me.

because of everything that'd already happened + this i was living in this constant state of severe anxiety. as in, i could hardly eat due to feeling nauseous every moment i was conscious, would randomly start shaking and crying & my physical health was deteriorating at many points. i was like this from about july all the way through to november-early december, i think?

like all of this happened five years ago but ive absolutely refused to let myself move on because i thought i would be dodging accountability for my behaviour but i've kind of just had a mental shift recently (maybe from my kansai trip i think it did something to me). looking back while talking to my friend i internalised everything about that series of incidents so hard that i considered myself a horrible and irredeemable person, so ive been keeping myself at arms length from others because i didnt want it to happen all over again and didnt trust myself to actually change. i thought that if i was pursuing relationships with others, i wasnt being accountable enough and dodging my past behaviour.

idk im just tired of living like this. im tired of all the self-sabotage and the fear and anxiety i have over the most minor of things. i'm tired of jumping up and running at the first signs of closer friendships forming. i had a panic attack over someone calling me a friend for gods sake, that's not normal. its not! the fact i even struggle to call people friends because of all this fear about relationships with others after all that isn't good and i need to change from that lol

even just thinking that i deserve better makes me feel like im swallowing needles and glass though, and it sucks so fucking much LMFAOOOOOOO. i dont even know what to do because i feel so shitty about even trying to pursue support from those closest to me. i feel like i'm asking so, so much of people when i cant give much of anything in return. not to mention that right now even the idea of being misunderstood makes me feel absolutely terrible and like i need to be on the defensive. in general i feel like i offer so little that trying to lean on people is selfish and that i'm just going to end up hurting them like i did that friend who simply just wanted to help me. i don't want to feel this way anymore but it's a cycle and i don't know how to stop feeling so horrid about everything and actually. well. allow myself to feel supported AND be normal in the head about it

like i need to move on not just for my sake but because. really. it's been such a long time and i don't even recognise the person i was in those messages. but i can hear just how much pain my past self was in and that just sucks, man. my friend didn't want me to suffer, but he was rightfully hurt and angered by the way i behaved. the best way to show my remorse has always been to do better by those who come into my life, but i never wholly succeeded in that because 90% of the time i would sabotage my own relationships with others and not get too close out of fear that i was going to ruin it all and just be as shitty as i was before. i thought closing myself off would be doing right by him, and to a degree it was. but it wasn't productive for me because i wasn't doing anything but closing myself off

anyway i handled something pretty good tonight that i know my past self wouldve probably flipped out about so that's probably a good sign i guess. its actually kind of surprising to see that even though my spoons are maybe a 1 at best rn i can still handle things with some grace and tact and Not be terrible. idk. maybe things are gonna be okay, especially since i have so many people in my corner nowadays who want nothing more than to see me overcome everything

[1d1195]

Hey Queen! You have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all, and doing it flawlessly! I'd say I'm surprised but I know who you are!!

I HAVE FINALLY HAD TIME TO READ THE NEWEST PIECE AND YOU DID NOT DISAPPOINT!!! I’m so glad I caught up bc My life is hell rn and I am in the trenches lol but I’m fine lol

Anyways AHHHHHH IM VERRY EXCITED!!!! It’s so cute how they are meeting in such a mundane place and how he is just so grumpy on the outside and she over there just actually enjoying laundry! ALSO HE CALLED HER SUNSHINE!!?!? How cute honestly to give her a pet name so quickly and just mesmerized by her! And the fact that we got to read his little thoughts and how he’s like second guessing himself around a sweet girl omg 😩 I loved it and he was kinda funny ngl lol also he he so down bad for he already and I love it!

I genuinely can’t wait for more of them and learning about their characters!

Also sorry if this wasn’t the best feedback:( I’m just very excited!!!

OMG tell me about the trenches!!! I'm sorry you're going through it :( don't worry about reading or chatting with me; you and your mental health are so much more important than this silly little website.

This is more than enough feedback so don't feel bad about that either. I'm so glad you liked it, I feel like there are a few surprises in store for this one 😉💕

I am a very boring person so I imagine a lot of my little stories in the most mundane things. I would love to meet Harry while doing laundry (I *do* love laundry a lot). He is kinda funny! Sometimes I think I make him a little boring in my stories but I think Harry is actually hysterical (especially circa Narry interviews in like 2012/2013). But I also hear in other celebrities interviews and stuff that he's very shy and quiet and I think that's so adorable I could scream.

I am struggling with nicknames so I thought Sunshine was kinda lame and also on the nose since he's being so grumpy. I have a different nickname planned out for another story but we might just be going back to kitten, angel, love for now unless the story lends itself to a new nickname (like Miss Wildflower did, ya know?) ANYWAY

I hope things get a little better every minute for you and always feel free to vent if you need it! Thank you for sending a message but please don't feel obligated, especially if you have a lot going on 💕

xoxo

[mercurygguk]

I want to vent this out!! Yk im so thankful that JK went live for two consecutive days after such a long time of not seeing him, i was worried that he might be struggling mentally and wanted a little rest from the cameras and that is understandable but i actually feel so great that he looks happy and fine but the problem is, why is he alone? Like why doesn't he have anyone to spend the night with or eat with him? He seemed lonely for some reason or i might be just delusional. I know if he had a lover or someone with him he obviously wouldn't be able to go live but that's ok with me , i would also be happy with just a picture and him saying he is okay, it does not have to be this long live, like for two days, he was alone and I kinda felt sorry. I'm just saying that i hope he has someone is life and he ia not lonely plz he deserves all the love in the world💜i just wanted to say this so I can be able to proceed to continue with my life 😂

tbh, i get you but i also would like to say that i think jungkook really enjoys being alone. we already know he’s an introvert and that he likes to stay at home and away from crowded places 🥹 besides, he games a lot with his friends so it’s not like he’s completely alone and he has bam. a pet can be all you need sometimes!!

i think jungkook has been looking forward to this time where he can just be himself and not do anything as the true introvert that he is. he’s recharging, taking care of himself, eating and sleeping and just living as he pleases and i LOVE that for him 🫶🫶🫶 if i could do that too, i would without even hesitating jsjfjskd

[nightglider124]

titans fans think they own the dickkory tag but seem to forget that in no way did they invent it. Dickkory has been the ship name for decades for the two characters for the comics. It so happens that other versions of the ship (like titans) have tacked onto dickkory tag to make it easier to enjoy content. Robstar is used solely for the 03 cartoon. I don’t mean to hate, i like titans as well but it comes off as belittling other media forms to prop up others. Ie putting down the cartoon for the show even though they are completely different but still star our favourite dc characters and the reverse as well. I dont get why fans fee the need to be negative like cartoon fans hating on titans - they are completely different but they are both still valid. Just cos you don’t like one of the versions, doesn’t mean they need to be dicks about it. Sorry to vent, night but I see the bullshit on twitter and now here too. Its so stupid.

Sigh. In a way, I feel this, anon. I get what you mean with the end part of that - it is stupid. Titans, 03 show, ttg, dcau, comics… at the end of the day, i stay out of that bs drama with what is better or whatever cos that is childish af.

I very clearly have a favourite version which has always been the cartoon. Its what got me into DC and i grew up with it when fics and fanart were going strong and it was back in the early 2000’s, you know. The good ol’ days. 😂 But, despite that being my favourite, I also really enjoy Titans cos its a gritty version that is aimed at an older audience. I think that is what a lot of fans who prefer comics or the cartoon etc struggle with. I think they lean towards flat out disliking it bc it isn’t what they know and it’s different. There’s nothing wrong with not liking Titans. It isn’t everyone’s cup of tea; hell, i dropped it for s3 bc i was so uninterested in what they were doing by the end of s2. I also did not care for all the side characters taking spotlight over the main ones but I digress. But, keep it out of the fan’s faces, you know?

Its rude and really annoying when you have fans shitting on your good time. Titans has had a good time so far with dickkory and so fans are allowed to enjoy that. The fact that other dickkory fans who dont like Titans are being dicks about it is weird, in my opinion.

Same as, i think fans who try and shit on fans who love the cartoon are lame af. Like so what if its old? So what if it was aimed at younger audiences? So what if you dont like it? Point is, other people do so leave them to enjoy it. My biggest gripe with the cartoon is people saying it was childish considering it actually tackled some deeper topics, despite being a kids show.

Main point here is, people who gatekeep tags and shit are losers. Like, no one owns anything and anyone acting like that is sus, imo.

I get so sick of seeing people fight over different versions of a ship considering at the end of the day, its all the same?? Like dickkory for example. You may not like them in one format but you do in another. Personally, i am so fucking starved for dickkory content, i will take it from anything. Any version is allowed to be in the tag, old or new like jeez.

They are all valid formats if it means i get to see my two idiots in love.

A lot of people hate the DCAU but i really enjoyed those animated movies cos of, you guessed it, dickkory. They showed their relationship so nicely in that. It was wholesome as fuck but was also a little flirty so it was aimed at the adults more so. I think some people see animated stuff and immediately think its shit and childish which literally isn’t the case at all.

The comics are the og sources for these characters and I’ve seen a lot of ‘comic gatekeepers’ moan about other forms of the characters as well through the years. Now, i’ve got knowledge of the comics but im not some purist who has read every single one, more so bc fuck, I can’t keep up and comics contradict all the time cos of dumbass writers (looking at you T*m T*aylor 👀) but, i still appreciate the comics being the thing that started it all off. Without the comics, I wouldn’t have my baby Koriand’r 🥰 so anytime something remotely to do with dickkory comes out in comics, im rooting for it, purely cos i like seeing some form of life for my ship.

TTG is also valid; its silly and fun and that’s okay too. The titans are like a chiller version of the justice league and they are a team that notoriously is a bit less serious in all formats; they still have very serious storylines but they are the younger team ya know? Again, i think thats why a lot of people don’t like TTG either which is FINE but dont be going into ttg tags and mouthing off about how shit you think it is. Like its bad fandom decorum. Personally, I don’t care much for ttg; i did at first. I liked it and watched it regularly but now i just dont. But again, im not out here bitching about how it isnt the og cartoon so its crap or it isnt titans so its stupid.

I didn’t mean to rant like this but I just find it so fucking ridiculous that we’re still at this point in fandom where people can’t just let others enjoy shit. It is pathetic especially when shit like this comes from people who are literally adults like come on ffs. Get a grip.

I will continue to stay in my dickkory bubble, enjoying it in all forms which I advise fans to do lmao, it’s much less annoying and bitter when you just let yourself enjoy your ship In whatever formats there are.

Need I remind people that dickkory, despite being hella popular and loved, hasn’t had anything substantially canon in a long time so if shows like Titans are feeding fans, don’t be a dick and rain on parades. It’s not fair when people just wanna enjoy it and it just makes you an ass.

Sorry, this got hella long lmao. Also, anon, i would avoid twitter. It’s too toxic there, i have found in the past. Though Tumblr has had its moments too and by the sounds of it, people be just as bad here. 🙄

I could literally write a book on this, that’s how many thoughts I have. I’ve been around the DC fandom and dickkory tags for a long time and I can’t believe people still can’t help themselves. Just let people enjoy things all round, ugh! 🤦🏻‍♀️

[lemme-just-oops]

Im sorry if this request quite trigreeing

Arcana twilight hc with mc suffering with ptsd and tries attempt suicide

Content warnings: Suicide. If any of you need help mentally, come to chat.

Alpheratz: Even he realized your behaviour is not like usual. Your eyes seemed glazed over and your conversations seemed more like a monologe to him. In fact, he worried that you were mad at him. And he prefered that over the truth. Because being mad could be cured, your mental health can only be helped. He tries to pay attention on what makes you feel uneasy and what might trigger you to get you away in time and calm you down. It takes time for him. When it comes to an attempted suicide, he will try to hold you. But you notice how much his hands shake. He almsot lost you and he is scared of it might happen again.

Arcturus: As much as he tries to support you, it is difficult. Everyone else around him seems to always know what to say or do, but when you talked about your PTSD, he knows little of how to handle the situation. He will never once trigger you, your mental health is his top priority. And if anyone ever attempts to mock you over it, he will stand up for you. And even then, he feels like he failed you when you attempted to take your life. This is a topic too heavy for him and he will apologize. This is the one topic he cannot discuss, but that does not mean he abandons you. You can vent to him a lot before it hits his spirit and he will offer all the advice he has. He looks around for therapists and will visit you in the hospital every day.

Pollux: Even before you met, he actually read up a lot about different illnesses. PTSD being one of them. He read about them because he struggles with self-confidence and it just became something he read up on. So, his attempts of handling and accomodating yours is not much of a problem, once you told him about it. He will ask you sometimes if you want to talk about what caused it, but if you don't he suggests a completely different topic right away. He might have picked up the signs of what will happen, but he thought he was thinking too much about it. Oh, he regretted that decision. He will beat himself up for not being there for you, and might stop talking to you. Not because he is mad, but because he feels the burden of guilt on him. It takes his friends for him to find the courage and call you again.

Sirius: Poking at your forehead and asking you if: "Is your brain broken?" was supposed to just be a joke. It takes him way too long that you do not consider this funny and that it probably is one of the reasons you fell into this dark place. Acts as though it does not burden him, since he does not want you to feel guilty about your action. And you will barely recognize any change in his behaviour in front of you, except for the fact that when you spend time together, he gives little positive reminders of your surroundings. "Doesn't it smell nice?", "I enjoy the view, you too?", "This song, I think it's your taste."

Spica: The moment he found out about your PTSD, he already made you aware that he had a good and experienced therapist, if you need one. Due to him being overworked a lot, you may not have reached out to him to vent, but you could have. It would not be a problem to him to stay awake for an entire night just to let your heart and mind flow. He will not be mad at you for it, he would be mad at the circumstances that caused you to feel like it. After your suicide attempt, he brings flowers to visit you. And then realizes that he should give you flowers more often, so you do not associate them with suicide, because then you might try it again and as he says those things out loud, he realizes just how anxious he truly was about you. He asks for permission to hug you, because he needs to convince himself that you are still here. And if you ever need him, if you ever feel like you cannot talk to anyone, call him.

Vega: As soon as he heard about your suicide attempt, he ran to the hospital and waited until he was allowed to visit you. His first reaction was to inhale deeply, because you did not succeed. Everything else you do, he hopes for your success. Maybe the last thing you need in that moment is a talk about how you would abandon everyone and that it'd be rude to just leave. The sooner you ask him to be silent, the sooner he is. He will stay by your bed until he is kicked out or you ask him to. And after you leave the hospital, he reminds you to take your medicine. He did read up more about mental illnesses, but his understanding of it all is still vague and some of the things he says will be guesses, but he tries. Will keep an eye out for signs where your mental health goes into a bad place again.

[magnoliamyrrh]

and another thing that chronic pain brings that i find is less talked about and that people without chronic pain can't wrap their head around, is the emotional pain and just straight up despair of feeling like your body is useless, knowing you'll never be able to do the things you want to that "normal" people can do.

^^^^^ Exactly

especially when it hits you when youre young. even if and when you manage to get used to the pain itself (tho even "getting used to it" takes a prepetual toll) theres still always that part of it too. of feeling trapped in a body that seems so weak and fragile, and there being things you want to do that you used to be able to at some point, or dreamed of being able to do that you just.... have to accept you either cant, or that if you do them theyre going to make you exponentially worse....... it feels like being forced to miss out on so many things, and its so damn hard and mentally draining and scary and,,,,yea,, a lot of dispair hits you. its hard to accept

i always lose it when i realize how much i can't rly do anymore. even when i had chronic pain some years back and my joints were going to shit, id still push myself and walk for hours upon hours almost every day, it was relaxing and one of my favourite things to do.... now there are many times when walking for 30-40 minutes a day or several times a week feels like it absolutely cripples me. such seeminly low effort things take it out of me for days on end.... i cant play guitar anymore because my hands cant handle it. when my pain was worse, thank god its better now, i couldn't draw anymore... theres so many hobbies i wanted to try, but cant because some part of my body wouldnt handle it. many times ive been too dizzy or exhausted to cook, despite it being one of my favourite things to do.... i had an entire weeks-long mental breakdown and spiraled horribly when i realized i couldnt really ski anymore, despite being very, very good at it. id rather die than think i could never ride horses again, but i know there is a high chance doing so will ruin my hips...... the list is fucking endless

it feels like some sort of nightmare you just cant seem to wake up from. past a point damned be the pain, but realizing your body just cant handle or do shit or doesnt have the strengh, or that the pain is just too sharp, its just... fucking horrible.... it almost breaks you more than the pain itself past a point. and idk personally its been a nightmare for me to see how fast a lot of my health issues have progressed. i was certain i wouldnt be as bad as i am now until i was in my 30s.... but in just a few years, its gotten so much fucking worse

..... its one of those things that i guess you cant do nothing about but accept...? and try to make the best out of??? because getting endlessly upset about it doesnt help, and being upset only feeds the chronic pain. but its very hard, especially when daily things in your life constantly remind you. i still havent been able to figure out some sort of way or mindset to do that at all

i assume from this ask you also struggle with this? im very sorry ❤️🧡❤️ it truly is a lot to handle to say the least. thank u for this ask tho, helps to feel less alone, and if u ever need to vent to someone who gets it ur more than welcome to 🌸 i hope this week will be easier on you and that youll feel a little bit better, and i hope with time you'll maybe be able to find some things which make it easier to bare. god knows what the chances are, but maybe with all the science nowadays well both have the insane luck for some cure or actual treatment, as far fetched as that seems at times