#like ok so... women are weak and stupid???

[nu-so]

my friend in class today: Barbie sucks and im not going to see the movie. she's literally trash

me: *squints* thats a lot of unchecked internalized misogyny you got there

[kneelingshadowsalome]

the yandere x yandere ask and your answer got me going maaaaaaad....pleeeease just one little story, just a snippet I beeeeg you...

I think I am addicted to your writing ❤️‍🔥

Ok ok you here's your little snippet I am not immune to begging (I am weak)

Word count: 1.3 k Tags/warnings: 18+ only, Yandere!König x Yandere!Reader, situationship with toxic König, light bondage, slight degradation, crazy idiots in love A/N: *sigh* for God's sake.

"No."

Your refusal echoes in the empty hall as you rush toward your room. The one you are talking to is marching right behind you… A giant Austrian killer, a one-man fucking machine, and a terror to women.

You know you shouldn't have said it today – hissed bitterly on the comms how everyone knows König is good with a gun after the new girl commented on what a good shot your foreign lover was. 

You wanted to shoot that girl, and now hated yourself for it. Hated - and loved - how a certain lovesick madman was again following you like an oversized puppy in heat. Had followed you ever since you praised his killing skills (you were the first girl to do that, goddammit), and agreed to go on a date with him. At a gun range, no less.

You try to ignore how your neck tingles as you open the door to your room. Out of breath, you turn to slam it shut, but a strong hand shoots to prevent your strength. It stops the door from moving even an inch.

"No," you repeat while looking up at the blazing blue eyes.

How can such a cold stare scorch your skin? How can those eyes burn your very reason to a crisp…?

"I'll visit you after silence then," he promises darkly, and the tingles turn into a downright shiver.

"No you won't. I'll lock my door."

"I'll break in."

"...You're fucking crazy !"

"You have no idea, Liebling." He steals a peek down at your chest, rising and falling like a wave because you are so riled. You can almost hear how he licks his lips under that hood. "I have to return your strings, oder?"

Rage and thrill fight for your attention as you wrinkle your nose in disgust.

"You–you took my…" you gasp, hating the way you sound like a pearl-clutching woman appalled by such indecency. Truth is, you are appalled. And aroused. But you're not a pearl-clutching woman.

"Pervert," you spit the word out with hot pride. He doesn't flinch, doesn't even blink at your insult.

"Ist das so? And who wanted me to tie her up last night? Hmm?"

Shit... Your cheeks pang with heat. 

Tight moans and pleas of "Use that paracord on me," and "Fuck me like I'm your prisoner," flood your mind, as does his low growl of "You're mistaken, Liebling. This is no play. You are my prisoner."

You thought he would've tied you into a bed, but no: this pervy lunatic tied your hands to the ceiling, not tight, but tight enough to render you helpless as he gave you a 15-minute edging session with his tongue, followed by more than just one profound fucking session with that ridiculously long Austrian cock.

He raised you in his lap and fucked into you from standing, took you from behind like an animal, used your body any way he wanted to until you were dumb and full of his cum. 

He pulled orgasms, quivering breaths and lewd moans out of you while whispering painfully sweet things in your ear – then left you hanging there after he was satisfied. You thought he went to get a towel, which he did... but he also went to get himself a beer. 

He drank that pilsner in front of you, wearing only and only that stupid black hood. Surrounded by his guns and knives, this man looked like a god of war: muscles sheened in sweat, heavy cock glistening with your juices, looking at you with smug pride as the warm seed ran down your thighs.

"Let me down," you finally broke before him, pouting and throbbing from the multiple orgasms he just gave you.

"Ask nicely, Liebling."

"Please, let me down… My wrists hurt."

He came to release you from that rope immediately, carried you to his bed, and cooed what a good girl you were, taking his cock so many times like you were made for it. Cleaned you up with a warm, wet towel and promised he would bring you food from the mess if you promised to stay put. (You promised, and he did.) He even offered you a sip of that yucky beer and asked if his prisoner had everything she needed.

But what's worst is that he dares to shame you for what happened last night.

"What kind of a woman wants to be used like that...? You're dirty," he slurs, eyes flashing with desire.

"You're the one who's dirty," you half yell, then snap your mouth shut, knowing half the barracks just heard your announcement.

He just tilts his head as if it's quite normal to have an argument about who's more fucked up in the middle of an echoing hall.

"Eh? I bet you're wet even now." His voice is high and tight from anticipation. "Shall I make an inspection?"

"I will slap you if you do that," you declare with a lift of your chin. Your shoulders draw back and your hand squeezes into a fist, ready to deliver on that threat.

He looks down at your tiny paw – nothing escapes him, not even the slightest movement at the corner of his eye. But when he looks back at you again, his eyes are filled with a sinful dare. 

"I'm warning you. If you come inside, I'll–"

He steps forward immediately and catches your punch like it's only a meager leaf in his way. You pout furiously as you send another fist flying, aiming for that hood – quite lousily, to be honest. Of course he catches that too, then spins you around like you two are dancing jive and forces you against a wall with his body.

It's the softest, most loving little shove and pin, and the only thing that's knocked out of air is your pride as his groin presses against your ass and shoves up, hard enough to force you up on your toes. 

"You're not a woman, you're a wildcat," he rasps in your ear as the warm darkness of the hood brushes your neck. His hand rests on the wall next to your face like a warning not to squirm while the other is already traveling up the back of your thigh. 

He's going to make that inspection, no doubt, shove his hand beneath your belt and into your camos. See if you're wearing another pair of "filthy strings" – or that's what this crazy dude calls the revealing underwear he says is "not suitable for decent women."

The funniest thing is that you started wearing them mainly because they clearly drive him mad...

"König..." you moan your want into the air as he slips that hand down your pants. Your hands got trapped between the wall and your chest as he pressed you there, but you wouldn't try to prevent him even if they were free. 

You want to tell him how good he is with his guns, all of them. You want to tell him that you hate the new girl. You want to tell him you'll be his prisoner, always…

He takes a good, long sniff of your neck, causing your ass to grind against the hard bulge in his pants. He doesn't like the smell of gunpowder on you, doesn't like it that you're almost as good with a rifle and a scope as him. He wants to take you away from all harm and make you his little wife. 

(The only harm that has ever fallen upon you is this crazy titan who makes love to you like it's the end of the world.)

"Kleine Wildkatze," he murmurs softly in your ear while agile fingers find your soaked cotton, the fragile shield between lust and madness. "I will tame you. Don't you worry about that. One day you will be purring in my lap..."

[high-ashell-hargrove]

Djinn,Dean and some damn pie

Summary: he wakes up in a bed that’s not his, in a house that is most definitely not either, the one familiar thing is you, or so he thought. The reason he knew it wasn’t you? His y/n would never turn down a piece of pie.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

_____________

The sun shines through the sheer curtains, the smell of fresh linen fills Dean's senses. With a stretch he peaks open his eyes, adjusting to the room around him. Frantically he shoots up,

This wasn’t the motel bed he fell asleep in. Feeling underneath his pillow his gun had also been missing. Pulling back the covers Dean checks the room. No signs of any of his stuff other than a wardrobe that looked similar to his, followed by some women’s clothing. Striding out of the room dean is hit with the smell of freshly brewed Coffee, he follows it down the hall. 

Peering around the corner he's met with the sight of you, his best friend, a henley covering your frame. 

“Good morning” Dean said, breaking the silence in the air, cautiously approaching you. Looking up y/n smiles brightly, ambling over to Dean. wrapping her arms around his neck y/n gives him a slight peck. Pulling back Dean gives her a bewildered look. 

y/n head tilts to the side “you ok?” Dean nods. “Feels like I'm dreaming.”

Her hair smelt the same, so did her perfume, her eyes twinkled like they always have, how could he be?

________________

“Dammit Sam how could he be so stupid” y/n huffs, shoving her gun into her waistband. 

“Goes after a damn Djinn by himself” she mumbles under her breath. 

“We will find him y/n” Sam says, following behind her, slamming the motel door behind them. 

______________

Days passed, Dean couldn't shake the feeling of unease in his gut. Things werent adding up as he remembered but he continued to brush it off. Jess and Sam were married, y/n and him were engaged, and he worked at a garage fixing cars.

Unlocking the front door he's met with a dim house, y/n lay on the couch, curled up in a blanket. Crouching he sweeps the hair out of her face.

“Wake up sweetheart” Dean whispers, kissing her forehead. 

y/n stirs, groaning. “Welcome home” she sits up groggily. “Lets head to bed” standing up she wraps her hand around his, pulling him down the hall.

_________________________

“Sam its been days we are running out of time” y/n runs her hands across her face, days they spent searching and stressing. And still no trace of Dean. 

“What about this church, its the only abandoned place we havent searched yet '' Sam spins the laptop toward her. Squinting she nodded. 

“Worth a damn shot”

________________

Dean walked into the kitchen, sitting down at the marble island. A fresh pie sat in the middle

“Looks good,” Dean smiled, looking up at her. “Share a slice with me?”

y/n grimaced 

“Oh c'mon you love pie!” Dean scoffed. y/n shakes her head.

“Honey, it's too many calories.” y/n laughed, grabbing him a plate. 

His stomach dropped. He knew something wasn't right, and the piece of the puzzle was some damn pie?

He stood up, shoving her against the cabinets roughly, a loud screech echoing off of the walls 

“Dean baby-” he cut her off

“Dont, you're not y/n, not mine anyway.” his eyes scanned hers. Eyebrows pinched together. Memories of hunting the Djinn flooding back into his mind. 

“Dean stay here with me, please” a pleading wine left y/n’s throat “you are so happy here! Please! Stay happy with me”

Dean shakes his head angrily, sneering, his face getting closer to hers. 

“I want my real brother back, i want my real y/n back”

________________________

y/n gasps, seeing Dean's limp body. Rushing to him she cuts him free from his ties. Cupping his face she shakes him roughly. 

“Dean! Cmon wake up” he was pale. Panic flooded her, her throat tightening and tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. Roughly she slaps him across the face, a weak groan leaves his throat.

  “Sammy! Come help me get him in the car!”

Hours pass, y/n sit in a chair next to the bed, hands folded together, waiting for him to wake. 

Dean's eyes slowly open, the blur adjusting to y/n's frame. His eyes continue to scan the motel room, dingy walls, broken ceiling fan. His eyes dart back over to y/n. A chuckle erupted from his chest. 

“What the hell is so funny Winchester?” y/n said angrily. 

“You didn't want any damn pie” 

“Excuse me?”

Dean sat up slowly, still feeling weak. 

“The other you, Dream you? Didn't wanna eat any Damn pie, that's how i knew.” he chuckled again. y/n shook her head and rolled her eyes

“Dean Winchester I could skin you” grabbing him by his green henley she pulls him in for a kiss. 

“Did other me do that?”

He smirked “not as good”

[zweiginator]

ok ok good cuz i am NOT done talking about college!artrick, it's literally my favorite version of them atm. (potential tw: dubcon and drugs 😵‍💫)

i need to be so fucked up/out that i'm unable to do anything, just totally limp. idgaf if it's from like overstimulation, weed, too many cocktails, or just like being fucked so good my brain turns off. completely helpless and at their mercy, y'know. need to have art and pat grab my jaw and nod my head for me, i'm too weak to do it by myself. :(((( but it's okey, they know what i want, they know what's right for me 😵‍💫

maybe it's them teaching me how to smoke weed and i just get waaaaaay too high. i was havign a hard time learning how to do the inhale properly, and they insist on repeating it until i get it right, and suddenly it's just too much too fast. and they just have to take care of me!!!!

and poor baby, my little pussy is so wet, she's crying for attention :((( they should help her shouldn't they, we wouldn't want her to cry? look at her so sad and lonely, bet she feels so empty doesn't she baby? she just wants some attention, huh? i'm too gone to properly give them an answer, but they know what i want, theyll nod my head for me :((((( RRRRAAAAAHHHHHH

-🐞

cw: noncon stuff, somno stuff, drug usage

college!artrick who quickly became your best friends. it was unconventional, at first. art had hit on you at the run-down bar that had since closed. and patrick, being the good samaritan and even better wing man slash best friend that he was — told you to go for it. to ditch your stupid asshole boyfriend that he mentioned hadn’t even bought you a drink. to fuck art.

“it’s truly harmless.” and your boyfriend was a douchebag. he hadn’t bought you a single drink but was nursing on his sixth beer. watching your empty hands and then turning to his equally awful friends to loudly ogle women that would never give them a second look.

art was sheepish and didn’t look at you. but obviously, patrick had gotten the idea of art wanting you from somewhere. so you squeezed in between them and nudged art’s shoulder and tried to get him to come out of his shell.

“he’s weird when he smokes weed.” patrick whispered in your ear and smoking a joint sounded way fucking better than swiveling on an unoiled barstool off campus in uncomfortable heels.

“do you have some?”

art looked high and he smiled at you for the first time since you met them. he pulled a little baggy from his jeans and nodded his head towards the door.

“can we go to your place?” patrick asked. he explained how he was visiting, how art was on the tennis team and his roommates slash teammates—one of which who was the coach’s son—were major fucking snitches. so it really had to be at your place.

you rolled your eyes and agreed that they could come over.

and they sat on the balcony all night with you. forty three missed calls from your boyfriend didn’t cajole you from the trance you were in with them. of course, they were hot. and the humidity was suffocating even past midnight. so of course, their shirts hung over the railing of your balcony as the three of you passed a joint around, leaning forward in plastic green lawn chairs, splintered and uncomfortable on your asses.

your high was heady, and patrick was feeling bold.

“if you’re not gonna make a move then i will.”

so patrick kissed you. it was a parched and awkward kiss at first; you both were dizzy from too much weed, your mouths awfully dry. but then art joined and his kisses were sloppy, his tongue prodding into the corner of your mouth until you grabbed his hair and kissed him proper. patrick sat back and reveled in his creation, swigging a beer he stole from the fridge.

and your relationship with both of them just sort of remained stagnant.

you had long since dumped your boyfriend after he told you he fucked a blond sorority girl that night you had met the boys. you just shrugged and told him it was whatever—you made out with two tennis players anyway.

and people around campus had come up with filthy rumors and lies. patrick didn’t live in town. people conjured up fantasies about patrick being a prostitute. that art was a goody two shoes and wouldn’t fuck you so he paid someone else to.

it got so tiring that art had confronted his team and coach about it, after it had gotten to them. said his relationship with you was none of their business, but slammed down an old photo of him and patrick when they were kids at the tennis academy, their cheeks plump and red from the sun, a racket in each of their grasps.

it wasn’t until one friday night that everything between the three of you changed. the ticking time bomb’s fuse had finally burnt to its end. patrick was back in town for the weekend and art was excited about it. he hadn’t been there since that fateful first weekend.

your roommates were out of town, too. so it was perfect. art picked patrick up from the airport and brought him to your place. you found it odd that the first place they would go was to your apartment. but you let them in nonetheless.

“what is your plan for the night?” you asked.

art took a shitty bong out of his backpack and a bag of weed.

“just smoking? there’s nothing else you wanna do?”

the boys shook their heads like there was some ulterior motive controlling their movements.

“okay, alright.”

so you smoked. and before you had hung out with art and patrick that one night, you really hadn’t smoked all that much before. you saw art’s bloodshot eyes as a way out of the shitty bar with your boring boyfriend and you took it. you had coughed your way through the joint last time—but the bong was intimidating.

“how do you use it?” you looked at the stem of it; it was nasty and you had already given art shit for it.

“what do you mean? i thought you were a huge stoner chick?” patrick said, between coughs.

“i never said that. i dabble but pretty infrequently.”

you were sat in between them and both their sets of eyes flickered from the expanse of your neck, to your eyes, down to your lips again. a cycle of ogling you that you dismissed. and as you grabbed the bong they shook their head.

“that’s gonna make you cough like a bitch.” art warned.

“probably enough to make you nauseous.” patrick was seemingly parroting every point art was offering in favor of not using the bong.

“then what do i do?”

they said they could help you by shotgunning it into your mouth. and you had somewhat heard of that but you said that would be okay. you watched patrick light up while art sucked the smoke into his lungs. he grabbed the back of your head to pull you in and then the smoke was in your mouth.

“inhale it.”

and you did what he said, but you felt yourself stumbling over your sandals as you mounted him, still sat in the wobbly lawn chairs that could barely support the two of you.

art grabbed your waist and pulled you in by your belt loops. he was sunken in eyes, puffy and half-shut. he was chapped lips, which you licked for him. he was shoving his tongue into your mouth and you were grabbing his jaw to maneuver him how you wanted him and patrick just watched.

“your turn.” you turned to patrick, and art reached for you to stay. but then patrick took a hit with art’s kind help. and he repeated everything art did. grabbed you and pulled you to him. pushed the dank smoke into your mouth and ordered you to breathe it in.

you were so high and dizzy. outside of your body. you kissed patrick too, clawing at his chest and grinding yourself down on his very obvious erection. you were certain people could see you if your neighbors were out on their own balconies.

so you stumbled inside and into your room. patrick slammed the door and didn’t bother locking because it didn’t matter. art was on his knees, taking your sandals off. you could barely keep your eyes open but you could feel your cunt weeping with arousal. you wanted them so bad and you mumbled that as you fell on your back onto your bed.

art looked at patrick. patrick looked at art.

“what’d you say, sweet girl?” patrick stroked your cheek and pushed his thumb into your mouth. you sucked it, hallowing your cheeks.

“i want you guys.” you mumbled it softly, but that was enough for art, still on his knees, to yank your shorts down your legs.

you flipped onto your stomach and the boys looked at how your ass moved, still in your little pink panties. art kissed your lower back, your plump ass cheek. it was patrick’s turn to undress you, so he shimmied your panties down your legs and they stared at your cunt.

glistening, warm, inviting. patrick spread your legs further and you moaned. let them.

“fucking shit.” art ran his thumb through your folds. “she’s so fucking wet.”

patrick did it himself, confirming art’s conclusion.

art petted your hair. “your little pussy’s so wet.”

“i know.” you nestled your head further into the pillow.

“i bet she wants to be filled up.” patrick offered.

you nodded. it was faint, but a nod.

patrick hurried to pull his jeans down, letting his cock spring out.

but now your body was limp as you fell asleep. drool pooled onto your pillow and patrick rocked against your cunt.

“wake up pretty girl.” art shook your shoulders and you moaned.

"hm?" you giggled and art kissed you hard.

"do you want us to fuck you? fill your little pussy? she looks like she really wants it." art cooed in your ear.

"mm. yes."

patrick pulled your hips up and pushed into your cunt, using the flesh of your ass as leverage as his thrusts got harder and deeper. your body rocked forward and soft mewls and whimpers left your mouth. but god, you were so, so sleepy. just felt heavy from the weed. from the weight of patrick on top of you as he reached around to rub your clit.

you clenched around patrick.

“that feel good?” patrick groaned against your ear and you let out a tiny, almost indiscernible whimper. patrick grabbed your jaw, nodded for you.

“fuck—baby—“ his thrusts got sloppier and art was still hard.

so he pushed his boxers down and stroked his cock. up and down. up and down. you were dozing in and out of sleep; they could tell when you came to due to your sweet, saccharine moans that were pushed out of you when patrick’s cock was in you, to the hilt.

“fuck you make me so hard.” art rubbed the head of his cock against your lips. so plush. drool running out from between them. his precum leaked on your mouth and he used it as lubricant to rub himself all over your lips, your cheeks, your face.

“artie-“ you whimpered and stuck your tongue out. you still could barely open your eyes; they felt glued shut. would be easier to keep them shut.

art held the back of your head and fucked his cock into your mouth slowly.

“good fuckin’ girl.”

you sputtered around him and your eyes watered as art jerked himself into your mouth, using you. but your sounds of contentedness fueled them. your poor, limp body so high and outside of yourself. your best friends wouldn’t want you to be so empty, so alone like this.

patrick came on your back and art on your face and then they were spent and all three of you fell asleep, after they wiped you clean.

[myslutwritings]

BLINKS. Ok so laikkkk. You know how Muzan has that fake wife? IMAGINE LIKE um reader or whatever the fuck it’s called?! FINDING OUT and she’s just standing infront of Muzan Like 🧍🏻‍♀️yo wtf. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE

YES THIS MAKES SENSE! thank you for requesting😭😭

➤ Fem!Reader finding out about Muzan’s fake wife

➤ SFW headcanons (not proof read)

Muzan kibutsuji x Fem!reader

•

•

•

warnings: kinda angsty also reader does not take shit from men (💀💀)

Man oh man.

Livid would be an understatement..

Muzan knows you can be scary.

After all, you’re one of those women who doesn’t take shit from men, you’re fiercely independent, you petrify the demon king himself with your audacious and captivating personality.

It was one of the things that attracted this walking menace towards you in the first place.

Now, Muzan does love you, so do not overthink and assume he actually loves his little false wife.

Oh, he couldn’t give a shit about her. But fake wife or not, you’d still consider it cheating.

In hindsight, he knew it was wrong but that didn’t stop him.

Anyway, that thought of you finding out his secret always loomed in the back of his mind.

However, he brushes this off, foolishly thinking this isn’t a humongous deal and you wouldn’t find out.

My god, he couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s embarrassing really..

No one knows how on god mother earth you found out but that night when Muzan returns home you confront him about it immediately. You aren’t going to sugar coat this for him nor pretend like you didn’t catch him in the act? pfft, only pussies do that.

But to be blunt you probably found out because you caught him kissing her in the entertainment district

“Oh, welcome home, dear! Now, do you mind telling me about your second wife? Or am i the second wife?”

Muzan’s response is silence at first. That being the dead giveaway.

You’re honestly just confused, like he already has you?? Why does he need to have this lil side hoe??

Deep down, you’re honestly hurt but you do a pretty damn good job at covering it up with that sarcastic smile of yours.

Meanwhile, Muzan denies it.

This only adds more fuel to the fire.

LIKE YOU CAN FEEL YOIR BLOOD BOILING.

No way he just lied to your face.

I mean, yeah, Muzan is a malicious demon at the end of the day so of course his interpretation on the human population is going to be fucked up on so many levels.

Thinks all humans are naive and incredibly stupid.

Besides you of course.

But the man isn’t a brainless amateur either he knows you’re different from the rest. Another reason why he actually has romantic feelings towards you.

Anyway, since you’re a girl boss, you obviously call him out on his bullshit lies and it provokes full blown fight between y’all.

You try to fight back tears, all these feelings are too much for you to bare.

You’re honestly crying because of how damn frustrating it is.

It’s also important to add Muzan has never witnessed you cry.

Feels guilty now but doesn’t dare to express it.

You manage to soothe your nerves down and continuously debunk the situation.

In the end, you have him backed up into a corner.

Then you proceed to reveal how you found out.

Muzan realizes that he can no longer escape this situation nor lie to you any longer.

Admitting his defeat, he confesses how he obtains a fake wife but doesn’t even feel anything towards her.

Muzan reassures you that he only has eyes for you, only feels these feelings towards you, assures you that he and his fake wife have nothing serious and that he only uses her to blend in with humanity.

You hear him out, listening to his explanation but then ask why he couldn’t just use you to blend in??

His response is that he desires to keep you safe and secured, if the slayers knew you were his weak point they’d definitely kill you so there is his explanation for cheating.

Bro just doesn’t want to lose you. Witnessing your murder would be his demise.

You calm down entirely, however, you aren’t 100% okay with him having a fake wife.

So you just give him an out.

Like, “it’s either her or me” you express in a very sharp tone to show how serious you are about this.

Of course he chooses you, after all, he always would.

Dislikes how you posses this much control over him. Your dominate nature doesn’t sit right with him.

But kudos to you!! He murdered divorced said wife and now there are no more issues. But you still are upset with him even awhile after that. Yeah, you aren’t going to move past it too quickly and because he’s such a manipulative narcissist your guard is always up around him.

But i mean who can blame you? You’re dating the demon king after all.

THIS WAS LOW-KEY ENJOYABLE TO WRITE!? i hope it meets your expectations and i hope this made sense! I’m working on multiple requests right now but this one was easier and faster to write due to it only being one character.

[mncxbe]

Hi, I really like your work, you are very reverent and diligent with each submission. I would also like to ask you to write a story where the reader gained weight and started to feel insecure in society, relationship with her boyfriend ( could it be Chuya, Dazai, Fedor?). Thank you so much. I hope I got the message across. Have a great week!

anon you're so polite omg- I love this idea hhh. Hope you like it♡♡

10:43♡

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑪𝒉ū𝒚𝒂, 𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: light angst/ fluff♡

𝑻𝑾: mentions of eating disorders and poor body image

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊

this man does not care about your weight. like at all; he thinks you're beautiful either way

that's why he's so surprised when you tell him you're insecure

he hears you out and tries his best to soothe you

from then on he's really supportive and always reassures you that gaining a few pounds doesn't make you less worthy in his eyes

secretely keeps track of how much you eat because he doesn't want you to neglect your diet or develop an eating disorder

"Bella..." he sighed as soon as you were done talking. For the first time since the two of you started dating, Dazai looked hurt, chocolate brown eyes shadowed with sorrow.

His sad expression only worsened your mood. Your breath hitched, words stuck at the back of your throat as you felt the tears pooling at your lashline.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said all that. It's stupid" you muttered, averting your gaze from his but he quickly hooked a finger under your chin, making you face him.

"My love I'm not mad at you for telling me that. I just... wish you'd told me sooner"

Indeed, during the past few weeks Dazai had noticed your unusual behaviour; you weren't that affectionate towards him, always spending hours on end in front of the mirror, checking yourself out, eating less. At first, Dazai assumed that your appetite reduced because of the high temperatures during summer; after all, he himself ate less during those months, but when you refused to shower or sleep with him he knew something was wrong.

So he sat you down on the couch and asked you what it was all about. You hesitantly told him about how you've started feeling self conscious about your body, how you've gained weight and struggled to lose it, to be the pretty for him.

As you spoke, you noticed Dazai's expression slowly darken. He couldn't comprehend what you were saying. You, ugly? You, his sweet girl, not feeling worthy of his love just because you gained a few pounds? You, starving yourself every day because you thought he'd rather have you not eating than being chubby?

Despite how much your words affected him, this wasn't about him; so he wiped every trace of sadness from his expression and smiled.

"I wish you'd told me sooner. I could've helped you, you know?" he continued

"But how? Really Dazai this isn't your fault. You can't help me with this" you sniffled, wiping your nose with the back of your hand; which caused a mellow laughter to roll past your boyfriend's lips.

His hand slid up your cheek, thumb lightly tracing over your cheekbone as he held your gaze.

"I know bella, but I could've reminded you that to me you're the most beautiful woman. If you wanna get back in shape that's alright, but don't put too much pressure on yourself, ok?"

You gave a weak nod and his smile widened. Kissing your tears away, his arms snaked around your frame, pulling you flush against him. Your head came to rest against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulling you into a peaceful state.

"Thank you Osamu. I think really needed you to say that" you eventually spoke up and he chuckled, gently threading his fingers through your hair.

"Anytime bella, Anytime"

𝑪𝒉ū𝒚𝒂

just like his partner in crime, Chuya is also surprised when you confess you're insecure about your weight

he starts rambling on about how today's society pushes unrelalistic beauty standars on women and all that

threatens to "deal with" whoever calls you fat or makes you feel self conscious about your weight

but after he calms down a bit he reminds you that you're gorgeous either way

like hell, he even likes you more like this honestly. he adores your curves

It's been around half an hour since your boyfriend started his diatribe and he showed no sign of stopping. What started off as a simple conversation- you telling him that you've developed an insecurity abour weight- ended up with him ranting and raving about beauty standards and how low society has become.

"Seriously now, it's fucked up" he decalred as he downed the last sips of wine; red liquid tinting his lips crimson. "I mean, really. You're absolutely stunning as you are. You don't need to look like those models in magazines."

"I don't want that Chuu I just..." you stammered, fumbling for words.

"I know sweetie. You wanna lose a few pounds and if you really want that I'll support you. After all, it's kinda my fault you gained weight, right?" he asked with a chuckle "Considering all the dinners I took you to..."

His comment lightened the mood, a little smile creeping on your face. "You know it's not your fault honey, really. I just need to be more careful with what I eat in general"

Chuuya sighed, placing the empty glass on a table nearby. He took your hand in his, fingers gently intertwining with yours. "Look sweetie, if you wanna lose weight it's ok. But please know you don't need to do this to be beautiful, because you already are. You're my pretty girl"

A gentle smile rose to his lips as he leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead. "And if anyone else tells you that you're not I'll personally teach them a lesson. You can count on me sugar."

His tender words managed to soothe your soul a bit so you nodded, returning the smile.

"You know Chuu, you don't have to go that far"

"I'll go as far as you want me to baby"

For a brief moment, his cloudy gaze slid down your body, taking in your frame; sparkling. His arm snaked around the small of your back, pulling you closer as his wine tinged lips found the crook of your neck, tracing idle kisses along your skin. You gasped lightly at the sudden closeness, causing your boyfriend to chuckle.

"Now lemme show you exactly how much I adore you, sweetheart"

𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓

he's actually the one who brings up the subject of your weight

he notices that you've been more reserved lately, that you haven't eaten that much so he asks you to talk about it

and when you tell him you're insecure about the weight you gained he thinks it's utterly ridiculous

naturally, he doesn't voice his thoughts, not wanting to make you feel worse than you do already

instead, he takes your hand in his and kisses it gently and reassures you that to him you'll always be the most beautiful woman. so you needn't worry about gaining weight

The cup of steaming tea stood untouched on the nightstand, lavender steam raising from its surface. Beside you on the silky sheets, your partner sighed.

"So... myshka. Are you going to tell me what's going on or do you plan on keeping it to yourself?"

You shrugged, still not facing him. "What do you mean? Everything is alright my dear"

Your voice feigned nonchalance but Fyodor caught the faint trace of worry; he shifted closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"Come on now, don't be difficult. I know you and I can tell when something's wrong, so please talk to me" his breath fanned over the shell of your ear, comforting, as his hand traced over your hip.

He could feel your body tense under his touch and he reluctantly pulled his hand away. "Please myshka"

He sounded defeated, sadness lacing his voice. Guilt started seeping into your soul and you finally turned around to face him.

"Look, it's nothing just... one of my colleagues at work pointed out that I got a bit fat and it's been on my mind"

A faint chuckle rolled past your boyfriend's lips upon hearing your words. Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, he pulled you closer to his frame.

"Oh you silly girl" he smiled, fingers gently lacing in your hair "You really got upset over something like that?"

A faint blush tinted your cheeks and you hid your face against his chest. "Don't laugh at me please. I know it's silly but... she was right, you know?

"It's not silly my dear. I'm just surprised it got to you. And what if you gained a bit of weight? You're just as beautiful as you've always been"

"You don't have to say that just for my sake"

"But I'm not" he chuckled "I say it because it's true. Now don't worry your pretty head over it." He used a finger to gently raise your chin, making you face him "Just sleep for now"

Peppering your face with kisses, he squeezed your waist tighter.

His saccharine affections managed to lull you into a deep slumber; Fyodor always had this effect on you, gently coaxing all the bad feelings out of you as if scooping them with a spoon and tossing them in the deep blue sea to be drowned forever.

"Thank you dear" you muttered, lips curling into a mellow smile. "I love you"

"I love you too, myshka" he sighed, kissing you once again before closing his eyes.

[raisedbythetv89]

I just started watching White Collar for the first time and a realization about most male written and directed media smacked me DIRECTLY in the face which is that SO MUCH media written by a for men is genuinely just male nerd self insert, non-canon compliant, AU fan fiction??????

Like them writing and creating stories is just “ok so these guys are soooo smooth and well dressed and women just flock to them at every turn and they can get away with anything and everyone believes and supports them when they do mess up and everyone thinks they’re sooooo brilliant”

This media isn’t just portraying women “for the male gaze” it’s EVERYTHING. Everything in these stories is supporting and uplifting mens’ delusions about who they are, how they’re perceived, and how they should expect to be treated. Which is incredibly ironic because anytime media portrays women or the world in the female gaze in a more “in my ideal world things would be like this” instead of portraying us as nothing but weak, broken, unloved, traumatized, victims OR one dimensional sex symbols with no needs or emotions they’re screaming, crying, throwing up about how stupid and unrealistic the story is….

This explains SO MUCH about how male characters are handled in shows like Veronica Mars and Buffy. Even though they’re shows staring women all the “good guys” get the delusional self insert, y/n, AU fan fic treatment (Buffy still wants Angel in season 3 and Riley in season 6 even after everything they did and Xander is CONSTANTLY forgiven for all the atrocious shit he says and does and is wanted by all women besides Buffy. Veronica forgiving Duncan and getting back together with him and even CONSIDERING Piz could truly only be born from men being delusional AS FUCK. Writing how they want men to be treated by women rather than being based in reality and the woman having even an ounce of self respect.)

Which is why the “bad boys”, Logan and Spike are such better characters. They’re so much more realistic, they get held accountable by the women in their lives, have better growth and are just way more appealing and attractive because they’re not the walking embodiment of what MEN want men to be treated and act like.

Oh god this feels like such cursed knowledge to have like it’s important to see this media for what it really is but now watching it feels that much yuckier like finding the porn of someone you DO NOT LIKE but like their emotional porn “this is what life would be like in my fantasies” and they’re the fantasies of the grossest men alive 😭😭😭😭😭

Also it shows their emotional maturity like all of these things are what 13 year old boys fantasize about not actual mature, grown men….

Also just realized this is why the Star Wars sequels were so hated. It wasn’t just Rey being powerful and loved by her found family and Kylo. It was that the movies showed the reality of men like Kylo. They destroyed the male fantasy Darth Vader created. They aren’t super cool, powerful badasses. They’re extremely sad, broken, temper tantrum throwing lost little boys who just want love and acceptance but have lost the ability to accept it because of the dark side (aka the patriarchy) which is the reality and that made me SOOOOO ANGRY lololololololol and this is why Joss Whedon THOUGHT making Spike into a sad pathetic mama’s boy of a poet would make the audience not like him because that DOES work on misogynistic men who enjoy the male gaze but does NOT work and only humanizes and makes Spike even more complex and lovable to the female gaze 💀💀💀💀 oh good lord

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

bestie what’s your beef with what the river knows 👀 please do full spoilers it’s on my tbr!

YOU CANNOT ATTEMPT TO WRITE A BOOK CRITIQUING COLONIAL ARCHAEOLOGY IN EGYPT AND MAKE YOUR PROTAGONIST A RICH SPANISH ARGENTINIAN AKA A MEMBER OF THE FORMER COLONIAL RULING CLASS!!!! AND SAY ACTUALLY IT'S OK WHEN SHE DOES IT!!! listen to me Lindsay listen to me apparently some authors think colonialism isn't real when it's not done by English speakers what if. I lost my shit.

ALSO listen ok listen. No one is as cartoonishly evil as the one evil guy in this was in his very first conversation with our protagonist. He was like hmm did you know I think women are weak and also Egyptians are inferior to the English? And then stole shit from her and it's like where is the subtle insidious nature of widely accepted racism???? Where is the realism?? Why does it feel like this book is written as Baby's First Introduction To The Evils Of Colonialism And Misogyny?????? GIRL WE'VE BEEN KNEW

also frankly. Listen I hate female protagonists who make genuinely stupid decisions and it's held up as girlboss. She's like oh damn my parents are missing I'm going to travel to Egypt with NO PLANS with NO FRIENDS with NO EXPECTATIONS and like if she really felt driven to it FINE but no one's going to be doing that like yasss slay queen! That's going to be terrifying! Make it feel conflicted! Please!!!! Not a girlboss moment!

She meets a British man in his twenties btw and immediately insults him and blames him fully for British colonialism and like listen I'm completely on board with the politics but that is just a guy why are we being like this. he's just a guy. He's not The British Government.

But also what really annoyed me, frankly, is that our protagonist (fully cannot remember her name) has extremely modern liberal politics regarding women, race, Colonialism, class, etc. but the thing is that she IS from the ruling elite in the late 1800s. She's extremely wealthy, she's given an unexpected amount of control over her own life, she has servants. And ok to me, if people are served by the status quo they need a reason to want to break it. And we're never told why she does. The current system works specifically for her and her parents, there's no reason for her to hear alternate opinions and we're never told that she does or how she does, so her entire politics feel very empty because it's like the author wanted to have her cake and eat it too - she wanted an unproblematic modern character but to not have to deal with actual realities of how one becomes progressive. I know a lot of people who have this approach about modern day btw, they're like oh OBVIOUSLY we all agree on this one thing because that's The Good Opinion but it's still like no, you got that opinion from somewhere, probably the people around you. But in the book it never addresses at all where she and her parents got those opinions and it just feels a bit hollow.

Basically it's just not fun! And it's not original! And it's about a girl with no unique features as a YA protagonist who thinks like someone from 2024 but exists in 1884 and is somehow excused from the fact she is also complicit in a colonial system so she can show her anti-colonial girlbossery! Also the male protagonist is obsessed with her immediately but in the most boring predictable way possible he's so bland I'm sorry.

This isn't even getting into the fact it's weirdly paced and the mystery is kinda stupid, I frankly don't know if it redeems itself in that regard because I didn't finish but yeah it kinda sucked.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Ik it's old news but as a 4'9 woman...a weak one... the fact so many women chose bear over a man is shocking to me. Like... I've listened and heard bear attack stories. They don't spare you and can and WILL outrun you. At least with a man, I have a possibility of escaping /fighting back before he can hurt me. A bear won't do that. They will tear you apart. I'm sad to see how stupid so many women. But also how narcissistic feminism is. Brainwashing girls to see this as ok. Fuck them.

Every single woman that picked the bear would run to the nearest man if they actually came across a bear in the woods.

[toasty-melons]

Uhm idk if your request are open so i Hope im not bothering you (also Sorry if my english isnt perfect ) i wanted to ask what about maybe ellie x fem!reader where they're Just Friends and ellie Is stressed out cause She doesnt know if Reader likes her back or not so dina being a good friend ( and Sick of ellie complaining about this situation) sets up a truth or dare night with ellie , dina , Jesse and reader and dina dares ellie to kiss reader and tell her how She feels and yk going on like this( its ok if you dont like this or dont want to do It <3)

You guys could never bother me!!! And I actually really love this request! I adore the friends to lovers trope so this is perfect! Also you’re english is really good so no worries, lovely! <3

TW: cursing, mentions of alcohol

I got kind of carried away but i really loved how it turned out, i hope you like it darling!

If you see any grammar errors ignore them pls :)

Just to kiss you

Ellie Williams x Reader

Ellie Williams has never, ever had trouble with the women she had an interest in. She always knew the perfect words to woo a women until they were buckling in the knees and falling to her feet. But you, oh god. You were her biggest weakness. You were so sweet and kind, and so fucking pretty.

So pretty that she usually had to pinch herself to get her stop staring at you.

So kind with the way you spoke to her, always asking if she’s okay and how her day was.

So sweet that you always put your friends first and were always doing nice things for them.

Like right now for example, you had invited her and Dina out to lunch, which you so kindly offered to pay for too. Dina, a sucker for free food, and Ellie, jumping at the chance to spend time with you.

The sun was warm on her skin, but when you had started laughing at one of Ellie’s stupid jokes, she felt like her whole body had lit on fire. God, you were so pretty. Ellie comes back down to Earth when she feels Dina playfully kick her under the table and give her a knowing look. Causing her face to slowly redden at the fact she had been caught being mesmerized by you.. again.

And what Dina does next would cause Ellie to practically combust with nervousness.

“So y/n..” Dina’s voice was cocky and made the hair on the back of Ellie’s neck stand up. You give Dina your full, undivided attention, smiling at her sweetly to let her know you’re listening. “Me, Ellie, and Jesse are hanging out at my place tonight, you wanna go?” Dina glances at Ellie, and her smug smile on grows at the slightly horrified look plastered on her face.

You’re lack of hesitation has Ellie melting in her seat. The way your eyes light up and your smile brightens as you vigorously nod your head yes.

“Yes! I would love too.” You look over at Ellie with that big smile on your face and Ellie can’t help the smile taking over on her own face. Your phone pings and when you check it, a pout of disappointment settles on your pretty lips. You look up at the two girls and your voice is laced with sadness. “I have to go guys, my boss asked me to come in early. But this was so much fun. I’ll see you guys later.” As you’re grabbing your things Dina is telling you when to be at her place and thanking you for lunch. You, of course, say it’s ‘no problem at all’. Dina gives Ellie a glance and motions her head at you, giving her the signal that it’s her turn to thank you.

Ellie quickly rushes to her feet as you’re coming around the table towards her. You reach out to her with open arms and Ellie gladly welcomes your embrace. You squeeze her tight as you usually do, and the way your perfume takes over Ellie’s senses has her knees buckling. “Thank you, y/n.” You giggle and she feels her heart melt at the pretty sound. You whisper back a ‘anytime, Els.’

Once you’re gone Ellie plops back down into her seat and Dina is looking at her with a smug smile and a snark comment already on the tip of her tongue. “Dude.” Ellie can tell by her tone that she’s gonna be relentless. “When, are you guys going to get together?” Ellie’s gaze finally tears away from the seat you had been sitting and glares daggers over at Dina.

“Well let’s see. Probably never. Because she doesn’t like me.” Ellie leans over and places her forehead on the table in defeat. A sad sigh escaping her lips, causing Dina to gently pat her on the back.

“I guess we’ll just have to see.” Ellie can practically hear the evil grin in Dina’s voice and Ellie can only pray that things go perfect tonight.

Ellie’s leg is bouncing as she sits in the middle of Dina’s couch next to Jesse. He nudges her leg with his knee and she breaks eye contact with the wall to look over at him. “You need to chill.” Ellie scoffs at this and rolls her eyes, now focusing on Dina who walks towards her with three beers balanced in her hands. Ellie gladly snatches the alcohol from her hands and not even a moment later is taking a swig.

You would be here any minute now. Ellie can feel her body start to warm up from the drink and it relaxes her a bit. A soft knock at the door has her whipping her head towards it and climbing over the back of the couch to rush over. Jesse scoff as Ellie’s alcohol is accidentally spilled on him, but chooses not to say anything other than a mumbled, ‘chill out.’

Ellie swings the door open and you’re standing there looking slightly up at her with your pretty eyes and a sweet smile gracing your lips.

“Hi.” It’s the only words Ellie can think of. She internally kicks herself for being awkward again. But the way your smile grows and your eyes slightly crinkle makes her stomach flip.

“Hi.” Your voice is sickly sweet and so soft on Ellie’s ears. Ellie finally takes a step back so that you can come in. As you walk past her to greet Dina and Jesse, your perfume washes over Ellie and she has to bite the inside of her lip to keep from audibly moaning and embarrassing herself.

Two hours and beers later has you and Ellie laughing your asses off at anything and everything. Ellie is relaxed so much that she’s able to talk to you with crumbling and placing little touches on your arm and leg without combusting. Of course Jesse and Dina are all too aware of what’s happening, which is what causes the slightly tipsy Dina to start a game of truth or dare.

After silly truths like ‘describe your first kiss,’ or ‘what’s the worst date you’ve ever been on,’ and stupid dares like ‘prank call your ex,’ or ‘swap clothes with the person next to you,’ it’s finally Dina’s turn again. The look in her eyes has Ellie practically shaking with nerves.

You’re all too unaware of it, not tipsy but bordering on the edge. You’re giggling at the way Jesse has been tugging on your shorts he was dared to wear. The way his clothes hang off your body has Ellie screaming internally, wishing that it was her clothes instead.

“Ellie.. truth or dare?.” Dina’s voice is laced with a smugness and Ellie knows no matter what she picks, it won’t be good. You perk up and point at her accusingly, excitedly announcing to the room that, ‘Ellie hasn’t done a dare yet.’ Dina grins wickedly and leans back into the couch, crossing her arms over her chest. “I dare you to kiss y/n.” The rooms falls silent as Dina’s words settle over. A tension slowly rising between everyone.

When Ellie glances over at you, she surprised to find your face completely flushed red and your wide eyes staring back at her. You glance down at her lips and it has Ellie practically foaming at the mouth. Before anyone can say anything the silence is broken by a phone ringing. Jesses curses under his breath and grabs the phone hopping up. How convenient.

“Shit. It’s my work, I gotta answer this.” He bails out of the room and after a few more moments of tense and awkward silence Dina stands up.

“I’m gonna go get another drink.” She leaves the room just as quickly as Jesse did and now it’s just Ellie and you. You and Ellie. Alone. When Ellie looks back over at you you’re not looking anymore and her heart sinks a bit. Not being able to stand the pressure anymore, Ellie stands up next and she feel your eyes on her again.

“I’m gonna.. get some fresh air.” Her voice is mumbled as she rushes out the side door that leads to Dina’s private patio. It’s small but it’s decorated in lights and plants that has a really warm and homey feeling to it. Ellie takes a seat in one of the chairs and places her head in her hands, elbows resting on her knees. Her heart hurts, she had her chance and she blew it. And for a moment, just a moment, Ellie thought you actually wanted to kiss her and it felt so euphoric.

The sound of the side door opening again has Ellie’s head popping up. She’s surprised to find you sitting down quietly next to her. You don’t look at her, not at first. No, at first you fiddle with your fingers, a nervous habit Ellie noticed you had. You thought you looked so silly right now, hell you felt ridiculous still drowning in Jesse’s clothes.

Neither of you say anything for a while, just allowing the silence to embrace both of you. You shift and Ellie glances at you again, and finds you finally looking at her. You break the silence first, clearing your throat quietly. Before you can say anything Ellie groans and rubs her hands over her face, “Fucking Dina.. always causing trouble.” This makes you giggle.

“She has good intentions.. just awful ways to show them.” At this Ellie gives you a sad chuckle. It makes your heart clench and your brows furrow.

“Kissing me would be awful, huh?” Your eyes widen at the realization and you shake your head frantically.

Ellie watches as your face reddens, a look of fear on your face, so scared that you had offended her. “Oh. No, no, no. It wouldn’t be awful it would be amazing- I mean.. oh gosh.” You cover your face and laugh awkwardly at yourself. Ellie is silent, still hanging onto a thread of hope.

“Ellie.. You’re one of my best friends. I really don’t wanna mess up what we have, but..” You uncover your face and chew on your bottom lip.

“But?” Ellie’s voice is so small, so full of hope that it makes you smile shyly.

“But.. I really really like you Els. And know you don’t like me back and i’m sorry if i’ve ever made you uncomfortable with my flirting, but today with the Dina and the dare to kiss me..” Ellie is stunned at your confession. She honestly feels like she’s dreaming. You like her? And you’ve flirted with her? How could she have not noticed?

“Can I kiss you? Not for the dare.. just to kiss you.” You peer up at her through your eyelashes, face full of nerves. You hesitate but you nod. Ellie leans in slowly, so close to your lips but not quite touching.

“Ellie Williams if this is a joke.. it’s the worst one you’ve ever had.” At your whispered words Ellie chuckles softly. Her lips are on yours not a moment later. The kiss isn’t sweet or soft like Ellie expected it to be. Instead your hands are tangled in her hair tugging her closer. Ellie’s hands find your waist to pull you onto her lap. Her fingers rubbing up your hips and thighs. She feels your breath tremble into the kiss and she pulls away.

“Too much?” You breathily laugh at her question and shake your head, placing sweet kisses along her jaw. Ellie is melting into your touch with the way your hands are sliding around down her neck and chest. You mumble a soft, ‘not enough,’ that has Ellie going feral.

Before Ellie can ravish your lips once again the sound of the side door slamming open has both of you looking over, frozen in place with widen eyes. Dina is standing in the doorway, jaw dropped and stunned.

“Oh.. my.. god..” You’re scrambling out of Ellie’s lap, standing up and shyly looking down. A grin is plastered on Ellie’s face and she can’t tear her gaze away from your shy one. “You guys we’re gonna fuck on my patio.” Ellie watches as you tense up at Dina’s accusation and shake your head waving your hands around you frantically.

You stumble over to Dina and grab her hands in yours. “Dinaaaa.” Your voice is whiney and it causes something deep to stir within Ellie. She can only watch as Dina teases you playfully and you protest with more whines of embarrassment.

“Y/n.” You’re whipping your head back at Ellie when she calls for you. Dina takes the hint and bails once again, shutting the door behind her.

“Yeah?” Ellie reaches out, grabbing your hand and pulling you down onto her lap once again. No other words are spoken as she pulls your lips back onto yours. This time the kiss being much softer than before, a vulnerableness laced into it. “Els.. i love you.”

“Fuck.. you have no idea how much i’m in love with you.”

[pensat-i-fet]

Dream team (Rúben Dias x Reader)

**So this is the other CL related imagine I got for you but there is a bit of a twist. I was asked to give the characters some backstory, hence why this is more than just about the CL and the celebrations. I like that the request was more specific like this since it’s more interesting for me to write and hopefully for you to read. I hope you enjoy it! ❤️**

Word count: 2452

Masterlist

Wattpad

Every time a kid decides to play football, the dreams begin. I’ll win the Champions League one day, I’ll represent my country in a World Cup, …

For you, those dreams seemed harder to reach, since women’s football wasn’t treated seriously when you were a child. But that didn’t stop you from dreaming or from playing. If no other girls wanted to play, you didn’t care. You’d join the boys playing in the park, not giving them the chance of saying you weren’t allowed there. That’s how one day you met another little boy who also had very big dreams.

“Who is she? And why is she better than all of you?”, asked little Rúben to one of his friends, who just shrugged.

He always tried to get you on his team but was never chosen as a captain even if he knew he’d be one in the future. You were chosen last most of the time because of the boys’ stupidity and refusal to acknowledge you were better than them. But that still meant he got to play on your team sometimes. Most of the time, however, you were on opposite teams because the other team’s captain had a crush on you and started to pick you just so he could talk to you. And while Rúben was a defender, you were a striker…so things didn’t always end up in a nice way for you two.

“Stop kicking me!”, complained Rúben.

“You are the one who’s always kicking me!”

“I’m a defender. I’m just trying to take the ball from you”.

“And because you’re so bad, you end up kicking me”.

The bickering went on for years. But also, a friendship started to grow between you two. People were always shocked when they saw you laugh at Rúben’s comments that you couldn’t play well because you were a girl. Because they didn’t get it was you two joking. And you told him about plenty of things he was allegedly bad at for being a stupid boy. He understood you and respected you…but there were things he didn’t fully understand.

One of the reasons why so many girls give up sports while they’re teens is reaching puberty and when it was time for you to face that, it was more challenging than you expected. Growing pains were bad enough but playing when you had your period almost made you cry. But you didn’t give up.

“Ahhh!”, you yelled when another boy elbowed you in the stomach. The way you held your lower stomach made the boy worry. He didn’t want to hurt you, he just tried to push you out of his way.

“Come on”, laughed Rúben, not realizing the seriousness of your pain. “You hit me like that all the time and I don’t complain. You’re so weak”.

“Yes, because I’m a girl, right?”, you screamed at his face and got up to leave.

Rúben didn’t understand why you reacted like that. You always joked about the other being weak. Why was it different now? He didn’t know how weird it felt for you to be going through all those changes. And even if he knew, he wouldn’t understand them because he wasn’t going through the same and never was going to.

Your reaction worried him, so he tried to follow you. It must have been serious if you were reacting and leaving like that. And it didn’t take him long to find you because you were sitting on the floor not far from the park, crying.

“Hey! Are you ok? I didn’t realise he hit you so badly. Do you need a doctor or something? Can I see the bruise? No, maybe better if I don’t or I’ll go back and punch him”.

“Rúben, shut up”.

“Tell me you’re ok and I will”.

“I am, it’s not an injury. I…have my period”.

“It’s that…the thing where…emmm…you know?”

That made you laugh. You were both barely teens, of course he found periods gross. You didn’t find them that appealing either.

“Yes, that thing”.

“So he didn’t hurt you?”

“No. Just touched the area that already hurt”.

You both stayed silent for a second before you hugged your legs with one arm and your stomach with the other to try and get some relief from the pain.

“You should go home and have some medicine”.

“It hurts to walk”, you admitted. When you tried to leave, the pain stopped you from moving further.

Rúben tried to think quickly of what to do. He could call your parents but he wasn’t sure they were home. And he knew his were still at work. So it’d have to be him who helped you.

“Give me your hand”, he said, standing from where he was sitting next to you.

“I can’t”.

“Just stand. It’ll be fine. I promise”.

So you took his hand and stood with his help. That only made the pain worse and you tried to sit back again but Rúben didn’t let you. He bent down to lift you in his arms so he could carry you home.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking you home. Do you have a better idea?”

You laughed, grateful for a friend like him. “You just want to show off how strong you are, right? Taking the damsel in distress home”.

“I might throw the damsel to the nearest river if she doesn’t stop talking”, he bantered back, smiling.

When you got to your house, he asked for your keys to open the door.

“Just ring the bell. Dad should be back already”.

But there was no need because your dad had seen you approaching the house and ran to the door to see what had happened to you.

“Are you ok? What happened?”

“It’s period cramps, dad. Mum told you it could happen again”.

“She did…come in. Take her to her room and I’ll take it from there. Thank you, Rúben”.

“Not a problem”.

After Rúben left you in your room, he went downstairs to say goodbye to your dad, who was getting ready a hot water bottle for you.

“I’ll leave now. See you soon”.

“Thank you again, Rúben”.

“No need to thank me”.

“By the way, don’t take too long to ask her out or someone might beat you to it”.

“What?”, the colour was drained from Rúben’s face.

“She’ll say yes, don’t worry”.

And even though Rúben was almost scared of being near you for a whole week, worried your dad had made similar comments to you, he didn’t take long to ask you out. And of course, you said yes.

                                      **

The first dream to achieve was to at least make it to professional player and it ended up being fairly easy for you and Rúben. Everyone could spot your talent easily and both of you loved working hard. So dream one was accomplished.

Winning a trophy was easier for Rúben but the advantage of playing for one of the biggest teams in Portugal also helped. But you won trophies too. And the result of all that success was getting offers to go play in other leagues.

That was a dream you didn’t necessarily prioritise. But still, you did better than Rúben, getting a move to play for Barcelona before he signed for City. That came with the challenge of being in a long-distance relationship but if someone could make it work, it’d be you two.

“I can’t believe you’re not here supporting me. You’re so mean”.

“Ha ha! You’re so funny, Rúben. I’m playing to win my second Champions League, not a silly cup”.

He laughed but then sighed. “I hate this. I want to be there with you. And both of our matches are at the same time so I can’t even watch it on tv”.

“I know”.

Whoever decided to schedule the FA Cup and the Women’s Champions League final on the same day and at the same exact time deserved a slap in the back of the head. You also wanted to be there for Rúben or to at least see him on TV. But the biggest match of the season awaited you.

Winning the Champions was that dream all kids had and you had already achieved it. But losing the final last year hurt so much, you all wanted revenge. And you got it. You got to lift the trophy with all your teammates again. There was no better feeling.

Well, actually there was. Because in both Eindhoven and London, two players ran to the bench after their matches ended to ask for the result of the match their partner was playing. And after finding out you had both won, the happiness you both felt was even bigger.

yourusername well-deserved rest with my fellow Champions League winners!! 🏆🍹🏝️

-marialeonn16: 👑👑

-keirawalsh: love you! ❤️

-rubendias: not trying to say it’s not deserved but…

  -yourusername: Rúben, stop.

  -rubendias: but your boyfriend plays the Champions League final tomorrow and will miss seeing you there supporting him.

  -yourusername: he’ll survive.

  -alexiaputellas: you two are adorable! 🤣

What Rúben didn’t know was that you were going to cut your trip with your teammates short to go to Istambul and see him play. As if you were going to miss the final!

You debated whether to let him know you were there before or after the match. But after spotting you there, some of the pundits called your name to get you to do a quick interview for their channels.

Rúben heard your name when he was going out to warm up and felt very confused…until he saw you standing there. When you noticed him looking at you, you waved and laughed. The camera also turned to see him and they caught his little run towards you.

"I can't believe you're here", he said, hugging you.

"Did you really think I would miss it? Give me some credit, babe".

"I have to go. But I'm winning it for you. You know that, right?"

"I already have two Champions Leagues. Win it for you", you joked, but he could see you tearing up. Because the beauty of both of you being so successful was feeling like your victories didn't just belong to each one of you but to both.

After giving you a quick kiss, he left to join his teammates again.

"So that was Rúben", you joked, looking back at the camera and trying not to show all the emotions you were feeling. "He was just asking me for some advice on how to win a major trophy".

Not that he needed that advice, because a couple of hours later, he was also a Champions League winner. Both of you had accomplished that dream now.

You knew how painful it was not having him by your side after you won your trophy so it didn't take you long to join him on the pitch to celebrate with him.

"I'll photoshop you on my trophy pics so we can put both at home", you told him while posing with the trophy. "Oh, and there is a Portuguese channel that wanted to interview us if you won".

You took his hand to lead him to where the journalists were but he stopped you.

"What's wrong? Why are you making me move around? And you're barely looking at me".

"Because if I look at you I'll cry".

"Don't be so mean, I didn't have time to shower and do my hair after the match".

When you finally looked at him, as promised, you started to cry. "Why am I so proud of you? I hate this. I don't like crying in public".

Rúben just laughed and hugged you again, letting you hide your face against his chest. "I'm really proud of you too".

When you were done crying, you both walked to do the interview.

"It's a shame you don't have your trophy and medal with you today. We would love a couples photo with the two champions. You have to make that happen".

"We'll try", you laughed.

"I can't help with the trophy because I don't even know where hers is but we can share the medal tonight".

He took his medal off to put it around your neck.

"Will you be joining the City celebrations?"

"Of course. Rúben can't be left alone around alcohol", you joked.

"Oh, are you uncovering his secrets? Is he a party boy?"

"No, the opposite. And he can't handle drinking much. So many muscles but still…such a lightweight".

Rúben was rolling his eyes. "It's not true".

"Sure, honey. It's not true at all…but I'll be there just in case".

Even if Rúben had to leave a few times to get photos done with the team and to do more interviews, it never took him long to get back to you.

"Maybe we could skip the party", he whispered in your ear.

"You'll regret missing it if you do. But we don't have to stay there long".

"You're right".

So off to the party it was and, well, you hated being always right but you knew your boyfriend well. So when you saw him vomit after just a couple of shots, you were the only one there who wasn't surprised. Most of his teammates were laughing their heads off, of course. Both the ones who were sober and the ones who had drunk more than you and Rúben had in your entire lives.

"Come here, big boy. Let's take you to the bathroom".

"I feel fine", he complained.

"Yes, I'm sure you do. Vomiting is a great feeling".

After making sure he was ok, you ordered him some water and he actually felt good enough to stay at the party a little longer. Some of the alcohol got to his system before he was sick, and he kept you on the dancefloor for a while.

When you noticed people starting to leave for the hotel, you told Rúben you should go too. He looked so tired.

"Today was such a good day", he sighed when he was finally able to lie down in bed.

"You think? I think I should have stayed in the Maldives with the girls".

"Nooo! You belong here with me".

"With my Champions League winner?", you asked, laying down next to him and putting your head on his chest, right next to where his medal was.

"Yes, with me. Can you believe we've achieved all this? I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure it's not a dream. It feels like it was yesterday when we were playing at the park and joking about all the trophies we were going to win. No one else in the group won anything".

"I know, but we did. Together".

[oneatlatime]

Zuko Alone

I'm hoping for some Appa this episode. It's been too long since he's gotten any good sight gags.

Zuko is cosplaying Clint Eastwood. He's also back to being stupid pale this episode.

You know it's a good thing that Zuko's not in the Fire Nation anymore because he really would have sucked at being Fire Nation. Robbing pregnant women is probably kindergarden level stuff for them.

How is Zuko in such bad shape? Last time we saw him he had a cave full of spoils robbed from rich people. Did he not bother to pack at least some of that stuff? Actually, not thinking far enough ahead to pack would be pretty in character.

Oof that would rub me the wrong way. Not enough money for a meal, but sure, let's use totally edible eggs as ammo.

Where'd the egg go?

Who is the scarred up hat wearing vampire and what happened to the real Zuko? Imposter Zuko just elected to not be provoked into a fight. Real Zuko would already be setting things on fire.

Just a bunch of thugs. Yep. It's consistently awesome how many of the facets of war this show can cover.

Imposter Zuko and Song's horse bird just got kidnapped. Did not see that coming.

Zuko kind of has arm bandages like Sokka has this episode. Also love the character detail that the boy has scraped knees.

Is the kid's dad the same guy as the man at the store? Or maybe this is a one haircut town?

So the guy who was near to fainting off his horse bird this morning is now turning down freely offered food? Could Zuko please shelve his pride for five minutes? Kudos to the mom for accurately reading his distaste for charity and turning it into a request for aid though. Although covering for the boy's egg trick is worth at least a meal.

Tangent!

I don't get Zuko. How can he still have so much pride when he's wearing rags and starving himself to feed Song's horse bird? I'm quite shameless when it comes to accepting help and I've never, ever been able to understand the whole 'too proud to accept charity' mindset. I'm always up for some charity. I have enough manners to offer to do the dishes after, but if you're offering free food I'm eating it. And I've never been in a situation as desperate as Zuko's. So I don't get this.

ok tangent over.

Peak rich kid behaviour. I hope those nails aren't expensive otherwise Zuko doing work for food might end up with this family out of pocket.

Is the wood grain on this ladder an actual photograph of wood grain?

Zuko has more patience this episode than he had for all of season 1 combined. He's also never gone this long without yelling. Either proximity to young children activates Zuko's otherwise mostly slumbering decency, or to fit him into a Fistful of Dollars homage the writers had to make him out of character.

If I had been in this situation when I was a kid, if I had been a) this visibly bored, and b) this nosy around guests, I would have been given a hammer and a bag of nails in three seconds flat. Also, nice to see a Sokka face from Zuko.

I get that 'a man without a past' is a staple of the cowboy genre, but the boy's father bringing up the privacy of the past twice in like two minutes makes me think he's done stuff he doesn't want to talk about. Seems both the parents have read Zuko right though.

Finally! Some pretty! I have been suffering! This may be the first really good pretty all season!

Bad news for the Appa decor on my blog. He may have been supplanted in my affections.

Two things: first, Zuko is a carbon copy of his mom. Second, That is way too much forehead.

Having Zuko's mom introduce herself by talking about the lengths mothers will go to for their children is not giving me foreshadowing anxiety at all.

Azula's been a bitch since birth. Noted.

Sir, your eyebrows. Also, yeah, I wouldn't want to play with her either.

Yikes this is making my teeth itch and my skin crawl. Calling it now, she's rotten to the core.

Zuko and Azula's dad has some weak ass genes. BOTH of his children are carbon copies of their mom.

Also, I was not expecting Zuko's very stupid ponytail to be a pre-scar thing. It is much better with a full head of hair.

If I had spent my childhood hanging out with an untouchable princess who set things on my head on fire for fun whenever I involuntarily displayed emotion, I'd be gloomy and apathetic in self defense too.

Sokka in this episode in spirit, if not in person.

Seriously that's the same face three times over!

Um, no? If Iroh doesn't make it back from the front, doesn't his son become next in line to be Firelord?

Can you hear all the unspoken "father thinks that" and "father says that" in front of every one of Azula's opinions in this whole scene? I stand by my assertion that she's awful anyways, but she's also obviously drunk much too much of her dad's koolaid, if you know what I mean.

This kid is going to get into so much trouble one of these days. Provoking the soldiers, nagging the mysterious stranger with the mysterious past, and now taking his weapons? Kid's sweet but he really needs to learn when to stop pushing his luck.

Stabbing dead, dried wood sounds like a great way to utterly annihilate the edge on those. Hope Zuko packed a whetstone.

Where is this patience coming from? I don't understand and it's BUGGING me.

Hold on. Technical problems.

My very basic DVD player sometimes has difficulty with these disks. Whatever happened between the above two screenshots, I've missed it. So picking back up from the one on the right...

Either these soldiers are impressively cowardly (which, yeah) or Zuko's really been working on his death glare, because they've got him outnumbered and out-armoured and they still back off.

OH it's parallels! Zuko's cousin and the boy's older brother. Got it. Kind of a false parallel though. Grandson of the Firelord does not equal earth kingdom conscript.

Give the demonstrably impulsive and nosy child a knife. That'll work out just fine I'm sure. Pretty sad the kid glommed on to Zuko so quickly, but it's also yet another realistic representation of the consequences of war. This show's good.

*shudders* theatre kids.

She's tiny! Do you know how darkly humourous it is to watch a two foot tall baby spout her father's murderous nonsense? Once again, in this whole scene, not a word out of Azula's mouth is actually Azula's.

"What is wrong with that child?" Apart from budding homicidal and psychopathic tendencies? Her dad. Her dad is what's wrong with that child.

Their dad has no subtlety at all. And also no brain? You think a day after the firelord finds out one of his family died is the right time to very boorishly make a play for the crown with you daughter as a prop? Could you possibly come up with a better demonstration of why this guy shouldn't be in charge?

How did this asshole land such a nice wife?

Yep. Siding with the old firelord on this one.

Does flashback Zuko sleep in his day clothes? Because that's not ok.

I like that their mom sees straight through Azula's lying here. She knows her daughter.

In a move that should surprise no one, everything Zuko touches turns to shit, as usual.

It's the Mexico filter!

Absolute truth from Zuko in that monologue. He's got them pegged. Too bad it fell on deaf ears. It's Zuko's curse, that whenever he approaches being remotely reasonable, he happens to be surrounded by people who will react in such a way that Zuko learns to equate being reasonable with failure.

An earthbender. The bare feet should have clued me in.

Last season Zuko and Iroh laid waste to like ten of these guys. And Iroh didn't even have pants. So what gives? Is he that starved?

Ursa pulling a Mufasa.

Don't answer don't answer don't answer

And he does.

Zuko is so very good at completely misinterpreting the point.

So we can add thief to the list of things that make Azula awful. Also that delivery of "who's going to make me? Mom?" is chilling. Zuko's lost his only defender inside this atrocious family and she knows it, he knows it, hell the turtleducks probably know it.

His dying wish? You guys buying that?

Ozai. That's his name. I'd forgotten that.

So... something something dead firelord something something missing mom something something maybe Azula wasn't actually lying this time?

Final Thoughts

The title wasn't kidding. Let's rename the show 'Avatar: the Guy who's Really Bad at Capturing Him' while we're at it.

There is now no way whatsoever that Zuko is not going to be redeemed. No writing team would invest that much energy and a whole episode into a character we're not ultimately supposed to root for. So somehow he's going to end up joining the Gaang. Don't know how he'll pull that one off. He's done some pretty not great stuff. And it's not like the Gaang watched this episode and unlocked his tragic backstory.

Speaking of, what prompted these reflections? I could understand if Zuko started to contemplate his cousin and the events surrounding his loss in the war after he learned about the family's older brother, but he was having flashbacks before he even got to town. Usually when there are backstory bits, there's a good reason to show them at that time, like how the Storm prompts Aang to think about the last storm he was in, or seeing a boat from his father's fleet prompts Sokka to remember what his dad told him. So what caused Zuko's memories to give him situationally appropriate flashbacks?

Pretty funny that he found the Nice Earth Kingdom Family that Azula predicted for him. And they are really nice! Either Zuko is an open book or the parents' social intelligence is off the charts because they're giving him exactly what he needs to feel at ease after barely a single conversation.

Speaking of Azula, I'm not surprised to find that she's always had deeply awful tendencies, even as a child of (I'm guessing) less than ten. But it cannot be ignored that, from the moment her father took a liking to her (as a tool to boost his own greatness, if not as a person), she didn't stand a chance. You can tell by the number of times that the stuff coming out of her mouth is a thinly veiled repetition of her father's unfiltered opinions, that she's been spending lots of time listening to him, probably while he puts down her mom and brother and talks about how she's the special one. You know what I'm getting at. Azula never stood a chance once her father got involved, and her mom lost the ability to influence her once her father started giving Azula praise for objectively wrong behaviour. That being said, Azula is awful even when she doesn't need to be awful for her father's approval, like when she's with her friends, so it's not all her father's doing. She's not a good person but she also had plenty of help to become that.

I guess Zuko and his mom are Fire Nation anomalies? And maybe Iroh has become that since his son died and he lost the war?

How on earth did Zuko survive as long as he did in the palace without his mom to protect him? What a no-win situation to be in. The only person in a whole nation with empathy.

This episode does makes Season 1 Zuko make more sense. He's been larping his dad as a defense mechanism for surviving the Fire Nation/probably a very futile effort to earn his approval. Although Zuko doesn't seem to care much for his dad if the tone he takes with him by the turtleduck pond is any indication.

Being banished was the best thing that ever happened to Zuko. The more distance between him and his remaining non-uncle family, the better. Between prioritizing his crew over capturing the avatar in the Storm, releasing the Avatar in the Blue Spirit, and now defending a random earth kingdom child this episode, it's hilarious how much Zuko HASN'T learned the lesson that Ozai banished him for not knowing. Don't get me wrong; that's a good thing. This episode plainly shows that behaviour that pleases Ozai is behaviour that should be unlearned as quickly as possible.

Zuko completely missing the point of his mom's last instruction is delightfully on the nose. But it also makes sense, which I may talk more about later.

How did Zuko hold on to his temper (and his volume) for a whole episode?

How did a show named after the main character get away with an episode that doesn't feature him at all? As a concept, this is such a strange episode. The writers were like "how can we kick start the woobification of Zuko? I know! A Spaghetti Western!" and it worked. Who comes up with that?

I now want at least as much, if not more, of Sokka and Katara's childhood via flashbacks. And more Gyatso please. If they can devote a whole episode to the childhood of a guy who isn't even a team member yet, they can show me some Sokka childhood shenanigans as a palette cleanser.

I really don't know what conclusion to draw about this episode. The writers have given me a massive backstory/trauma dump and I'm honestly like:

[nymphachilles]

Headcanons of mine or my Au idk yet😍 (Hades Game x Iliad and a bit of tsoa)

this is stupid ik...and probably terrible😭 BUT PLS READ ANYWAYS

1.Achilles was a total bitch ass in life and we all know it, but what if Thetis tried to save his son ass one last time, she told Zeus to give her son another chance in the afterlife and Zeus tells Hades to make Achilles train his son, Zagreus (refering to Hades game). I can just imagine Hades, leterally giving Zag off to Achilles, that has a weakness for kids but he is not good with them, so he starts panicking, but tries to teach him a couple of things, how to behave and not do his same mistakes, since the regret he feels. Also when he and Patroclus meet again in the underworld, Patroclus sees Achilles and could tell he changed, that he was a bit calmer, even tho he still had some beef in him.

2. I thought this at 4 am so if its weird i was feeling freaky💞..But, i feel like Hades, when Achilles firstly arrived at the House of Hades, not only was made Hades royal guard, but Hades probably mistook him for Persephone at least from behind..I though this bc of my design of Achilles, i wanted to make sure to keep that devine look of his, so i find it funny that Hades mistakes him for his wife since he misses her a lot..

3. Antilochus and Deidamia were both so gay for Achilles. (Pat did not wanna share with Antolochus) [Anti had a lil crush on Pat too]

4. Hades got drunk and told Achilles to put Persephone's clothes (Still weird thoughts of 2 am, was feeling delulu)

5. Apollo for pure fun would curse Achilles to be a girl and fail bc Achilles was already in disguaise once, he loves dresses and feeling pretty.

6. Achilles and Patroclus bullied whole troy and Greek camp, the only ones that saved themselves were Briseis and Antilochus.

7. Since Polygamy was a thing, all the women Achilles, in the iliad, like Penthesilea (i hope i wrote her name correctly), fell in love with, surely pegged him. He is a bottom every situation, no matter the gender. Deidamia pegs him def..

Ok done for now🙏 sorry😰

[fangirleaconmigo]

Yennskier to Geraskefer concept (Yennefer x Jaskier with some + Geralt at the end)

Ok so what if the very first time Yen and Jaskier ever defend each other, it is a complete shock to both of them and happens (of all places) in front of his parents?

(TW: Yen is in disguise so some of the flirting could be read as dubcon but no bards were hurt in the making of this fic, I promise)

So when they first meet, Yen and Jaskier snipe at each other relentlessly, right?

Scheming, devious, calamitous witch.

Useless cock for brains.

Geralt has taken to tuning them out completely.

By complete random bad luck, Yen learns one night in tavern gossip that Jaskier isn’t his real name. She becomes suspicious of his intentions. She brings her concerns to Geralt.

“They said that his true name is Viscount Julian Alfred Pankratz. Is that true?” she asks Geralt.

“His name is Jaskier,” Geralt answers, sounding exhausted.

She pushes. “I know that family. They are well connected, prominent, and bigoted. Your bard could very possibly be asked to turn Ciri in to curry their favor.”

"This is insane, Yen." Geralt drops his head and looks miserably into his tankard. “You two need to start getting along, or I’m going to age at least a century before winter.”

"That's not what this is about!"

She gives up on him. He will never think clearly in these matters. She suspects he has romantic feelings for the bard, which she wouldn't mind, she isn't much for monogamy herself, but oh god, the bard??? That smarmy, whorish little bastard? Unthinkable.

She decides to pay Jaskier’s parents a visit just to reassure herself that they aren’t interested in her daughter.

She disguises herself with a glamour and gets herself on the guest list of one of their fancy parties. She is playing the part of a voluptuous blonde wife of an absent Duke.

Jaskier is supposed to be back at Oxenfurt. That’s what he told Geralt, anyway. But she walks in the door and there he is, holding court at the party in his well fitted satin, with his glinting charming smile, and his flushed cheeks and…and…well…other things that Yen would never admit to noticing.

But what was he doing there?

Why did he lie about being at Oxenfurt? Could he already be colluding with his parents?

At the thought, she expects to feel rage. But an entirely different feeling wells up in her.

Disappointment. Hurt.

She shakes it off. Stupid. She's used too much magic for her glamour. It's making her weak. She takes a seat directly across from him at dinner.

He introduces himself to her and kisses her hand. Julian Alfred Pankratz.

His lips brush the top of her hand and in response she acts like one of his tarts. Only because she has to get him to trust her, obviously. Yen smiles and flutters her eyes at him. His smile is charming. So is his admiration of her form. When his gaze drops ever so briefly to her cleavage she feels something else unexpected.

Warmth.

She shakes that off too.

His parents sit on either side of him. Yen doesn’t waste much time. By the time the second course is served she brings up Ciri and the war.

She doesn’t expect Jaskier’s mom to immediately bring up the horrid witch who is hiding the child. The slut who doesn’t know her place. The evil women who schemes and plots and who gets what she wants by manipulating men with her whoredom.

Yen is used to being called these things by conservative wives. But she finds her eyes flick to Jaskier, and her heart leaps to her throat. It makes her so, so angry that she cares what he will say.

He has always seemed like an enemy? But here? Behind actual enemy lines? He feels like a friend.

Fuck.

But Jaskier averts his eyes. He stares at his plate. He isn’t going to join in, but he isn’t going to defend her either. Obviously.

She DOESNT care godsdamnit. She’s just caught up in the moment. She DOES NOT CARE.

So it is entirely incidental that she experiences immense, sweet relief when he smiles softly to himself before he replies.

“Oh mother,” he says genially, “but I know you. It is simple envy that moves you to such crude accusations.”

His mother splutters. “Do you think I covet her false beauty—“

“Not her beauty.” Jaskier says, still calm. Still affable. “She is beautiful of course, but nothing like that. It’s just that you and father are so small minded and so constantly desperate for the approval of other, equally small minded people, that when you see someone who has a soul and who lives in a free spirited manner, that you ache with envy and impotent rage. And that is why you use such uncharacteristically crude and low language to describe her. That is why you yearn to oppress her and control her. That is why you want to put her in her place.”

Jaskier smiles genially and takes another bite of his lobster.

His parents turn so pink with rage that they look purple.

Yen hasn't felt such satisfaction in so very long. She also isn't used to people taking up for her. Not in places like this.

His father is the first to regain his composure. He smiles and looks around the table at the nervous nobles who are trying their best to ignore the awkwardness.

He smiles around the table. “You have to excuse my son. Instead of accepting the position at Oxenfurt he roams the earth thinking with nothing but his base impulses. He knows nothing of the real world. He is young, idealistic, and completely useless.”

There are nervous chuckles around the table when Yennefer speaks up.

“Actually,” she says in between sips of champagne, “I have heard of your son. Jaskier is that right?”

Jaskier looks at her, surprised and deeply pleased.

His parents smile tight lipped.

“Ridiculous name,” his mother says.

“Well,” says Yen, “you’re probably right. The vaunted thinkers and academics who laud his poetry coast to coast are probably incorrect. The soldiers who offer their undying gratitude that he has documented their deeds are wrong. The traumatized war orphans who cry and say that he has saved their lives with his art are surely absurd. It is you who are correct, I’m sure. Of all the ways you can spend your life, comforting and inspiring people does sound like an utter waste of time.”

She primly sips her drink and the grateful, genuine smile that spreads on Jaskier’s face like the sunrise rockets straight to her soul.

The rest of the dinner is tense, but Yennefer is having a wonderful time. Conversing with a Jaskier like this---he is adoring and attentive--it is addictive. She never knew it could feel like this with him.

And after dinner, when he finds her outside the privy and steps incredibly close to her, his hand sliding around her waist, she is shocked into silence by her desire. She doesn't find her voice until he has kissed her ever so softly and tenderly that she almost melts onto his parents stone floors.

"J-j-askier," she manages to mumble.

"Yes, love. Marina, is it?" he murmurs into her ear, his nimble fingers trailing from her neck down, down down. "Beautiful name. Beautiful woman."

She steps back and lets his arms fall heavily to the side.

"I must tell you something. And you will regret what you just did."

It could have sounded like a threat. She meant it to sound like a threat. But it just sounds sad. The glamour falls from her and his face transforms into shock.

She swallows the lump in her throat as he steps back so hard, he hits the wall and covers his mouth with his hands.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he demands. He looks white as a sheet. Terrified.

"I just did!"

"Earlier!"

"Because!" Yen squeaks. (She never squeaks) "I was...flummoxed. I--oh a pox on it, Jaskier, I liked it. Is that what you want to hear? You asshole? You bastard?"

His hand falls slowly from his face. Then a soft, tiny, smug little smile begins to form.

"Ha. I knew it."

He did not know it.

She smacks him. He laughs.

Then he remembers something and falls back against the wall againt groaning. "Oh, Geralt. Geralt. I'm a terrible friend. I will have to run off, to never return--"

She smacks him again. "Ow, what?"

"Calm down. Let's go see him together. I have a feeling he is going to like what we have to say."

The next time they kiss, it is in front of a roaring fire in her home in Vengerberg, with Geralt caressing them both, and watching with fondness.

"If I had known that it was this easy to shut the two of you up, I would have insisted on it a long time ago."

[sanjisblackasswife]

OP Men P/rn Hub Search History (NSFW)

I may end up regretting posting this.

Ft. Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Ace, Law, Sabo

Modern AU IG, Mentions of P/rn

Law

Twitter Videos: He is a more classier man, when he has time alone he is on his computer on incognito mode and goes to his burn out Twitter account to his 3 favorite Twitter accounts.

“Role-play“: I will say. Before Twitter. He enjoyed watching the GOOD acting of role play such as a masseuse starting off professional then leading to wet slippery sex to even a teacher/student. He doesn’t know what it is about it, maybe it’s the setting, maybe it’s because he knows you’re not supposed to be doing it, But the irony of it all he has yet to watch a doctor/patient.

Guilty Pleasure: Bondage. He feels a tint of guilt enjoying to watch girls weak and tied up, but dammit if it doesn’t look so attractive. He really wants to try it with you sometime, but he doesn’t know how to approach you with it.

Luffy

Recommendation Page: Mf just goes on whoever computer he borrows, opens up Chrome, type in “porn” and click whatever he sees first he doesn’t give af and sometimes he forgets his own cock is in his hand because he is actually interested in the whole video he finds. However there was one video he stumbled upon that was a gang bang and there was so much going on he really enjoyed it and to this day he tries to find it again by googling “5 guys one girl”, “5 guys cum on girl” “girl suck 5 guys at once. Help him pls. And no he doesnt clear his search history.

Somehow Luffy does always end up finding the BEST videos too though???

Guilty Pleasure: Piercings. There is no shame in his game, but the first thing he looks for in a girl is piercings. He first seen it on a girl’s clit before and he wasn’t sure why but it stirred something in him and it just turns him on to see it.

Ace

Another Twitter Lover: He loves the realism in Twitter videos, he even has his own Account with 400k followers. He doesn’t post his own videos, but he posts the ones he enjoys or is sent to through DM.

POV Titty Fucking: He loves ass but boob jobs are just his favorite thing. Big, small, saggy, perky he don’t care boobs are boobs.

Guilty Pleasure…Interracial: HE WOULD HE SO MF WOULD. He would love to see a Latina or a Black girl getting pounded by their white/Asian BF because he wish that was him fr. He loves us ok😒😒😒

Zoro

Glory Holes: He can’t explain why he always types that in first when on the website, but he kind of always wanted to go to one, but he didn’t like the idea of other guys around as he stuffs his cock in a hole to fuck a girl.

Anal: This mf is ruthless. It only started because he wanted to try anal with you, but felt like you may not like it so he had a stupid ass idea to show you a video of a girl doing it to somehow convince you, but whether or not you agree after that, now when he is alone it’s his favorite to watch.

Guilty Pleasure Milfs/BBW: Maybe it’s his breeding kink or him just loving older/bigger women, but it just turns him on embarrassingly too quick seeing a mother get fucked by a younger/smaller guy. Hence why he wants you to bare his kids immediately

Sanji (sigh)

…I mean what WOULDN’T he watch😒😒😒

This mf has the premium account, 4k videos only, yes he has a Twitter (His ONLY account), and he is a loyal member to Only Fans.

Girl x Girl: Pretty evident why. If there is any form of dick in the video it can only be from a dildo.

Girl Masturbation: …Yeah he enjoys watching it and imagining the girl is giving him a personal show AND YES. He likes it when they are loud and obnoxious.

Guilty Pleasure: Hardcore. Yeah that whole ideal of him loving women and respecting women and treating them like queens goes out the fucking door if he is watching Brutal Hard sex. Choking, slapping, name calling, etc. It’s a literal guilty pleasure in how fast he cums watching a girl drooling, crying, and begging for the man to slow down. Though he couldn’t get himself to do it to you…maybe..if you were willing?

Sabo

He is a Only Fans/Twitter lover: He has one maybe 3 particular girls he enjoys and doesn’t find any reason to expand from them.

Cam Girls: Same thing. He only has less than a handful of girls he enjoys watching and tipping girls to do some….questionable things for him.

Guilty Pleasure Cuckhold: Can’t really explain this one too much but he just likes the idea of fucking someone else’s wife/gf in front of them…yeah. He a freak but whatever.

[wolfoftheblackflames]

Oh boy, I've turned into a fanfic gremlin again... Enjoy! (This is just a headcannon, but I felt like writing it anyway)

It was dark in the hotel as a familiar little cyclops as scrubbing the windows clean, her red and yellow eye scowling annoyingly at the dust that didn't seem to go away. "Why are there so many of you?!" She growled before laughing maniacally. "I'll scrub every last one of you. You've met your end, you stupid mess!"

Though the more she scrubbed, the more dust appeared but also the more her vision began to blur. "Uh Niffty, are you ok? You've been scrubbing that spot for the last hour..." A voice spoke as the small cyclops turned to look at its owner. "Oh my gosh!" The owner was Charlie as the princess gasped.

Niffty swayed a bit but was caught by those gentle hands. "Meeh.. The dust won't go away!" She whimpered, pointing to a clearly very clean window. Next thing she knew she was being lifted up into the taller woman's arms, a hand coming under her red hair.

"You overworked yourself, Niff, see you're running a fever." Charlie stated with concern as Niffty was indeed running a high fever.

The smaller cyclops squirmed but couldn't get out of those arms. She pouted and grumbled. Usually, she'd be able to zip out of anyone's grip, scurrying around like a cockroach, but right now, she felt so tired and weak. Niffty hears those feet move as she grumbled, accepting the help reluctantly. Usually, it was the Alastor she was the most comfortable with, but now here she was in Charlie's arms, the princess taking her to her room.

"Uh Char? Why are ya carrying Niffty?" Another voice spoke as Niffty had her eye closed. "I'm taking her to her room Vaggie, she's sick and needs rest." Charlie responded to the owner.

Niffty made a small 'mrrr?' noise feeling a hand stroke her head. "You two look like parents with the little monster." She knew that voice, it was the other demon in Alastor's contract, Husk. He sounded grumpy as always. "Was lookin' for Niff anyways, though it can wait."

Vaggie rolled her eye at Husk but didn't seem to mind the comment. "So where does this one sleep? I've never been to her room so I don't know. Do you Husk?"

"Nope, I know better than to poke my nose into that little monster's room. Try Alastor he might know." The grumpy cat man took a swig of his booze and left.

Charlie looked down at the small cyclops in her arms. "Well shit, Alastor is out today.." The demoness sighed but blinked, feeling Niffty nuzzle her a bit like a cat.

It was a feverish haze, but Niffty couldn't help herself. She felt like she was once again in her mother's arms, being cradled like when she was a child. "Haha..." (Mama) She mumbled nuzzling closer.

Charlie blinked, tilting her head, Vaggie also looked confused. "Uh, she's normally weird but, but affectionate? Now I feel like I'm seeing things." The grey demoness scratched her head.

However Niffty started to squirm, she jumped out of Charlie's arms. "Nyah! I must clean!" She seemed to be back to her normal self and scurried off.

"The fuck...?" Both women spoke staring as Niffty zipped out of sight.

Angel Dust had seen the entire thing and rubbed his chin. He soon followed the cyclops, who was seen stabbing a roach. "Niff, um, how are ya?" The spider demon asked as Niffty looked over, seeming as chipper as ever. "You uh we're bein carried an all so I was curious see?"

"Oh that was nothing, nope ehehehehe." She giggled though she tripped on the carpet. "Yay pain!" She squeed.

Angel looked unconvinced and picked her up. "C'mere you little twerp." He managed to scoop her up and felt her forehead with one of his free hands. "Ah ha, yer sick and yer tryin ta hide it again." He scolded as Niffty whined. "Alrite yer comin' with me ok?"

Niffty blinked as the next thing she knew Angel was making her some chicken noodle soup in the kitchen. She looked at him curiously. "What are you doing?"

"Makin ya some soup, it'll help make ya feel better. Now take these and drink this." Angel handed her a glass of water with some medicine. Niffty did as asked as she grumbled at the bitterness. "Good girl." The spider smiled a bit and got a bowl of soup for Niffty.

The Cyclops was just confused. Usually, she was the one cooking, but also, it was a man, if you could call Angel that was cooking for her. She sipped the hot soup enjoying the burning pain it gave her tongue as she downed it in one go. "Heheheh burning pain, can I go clean now?" She flashed Angel an innocent grin.

"Nope. Yer gonna do sometin else alrite? How about we go to my room and you can snuggle my baby boy Fat Nuggets. I know ya like cute tings and my little piggy is the cutest there is." Angel stated as Niffty looked at him with a grumble."Katte ni shite yo. " ( do what you want.).

He was stopping her from working, but the thought of snuggling a cute piglet was too good to pass up. She then nodded to him as the spider twink picked her up again.

Once in his room, Angel called over his beloved piglet. The demon piggy scurried over to his owner's call. "Kawaii!!!" The cyclops cooed and hugged the piggy. Angel chuckled as the trio curled up on his giant pink fluffy bed and watched an action movie.

Niffty was grinning at the hot bad boys watching them drive their fast cars and kicking ass. She also had Fat Nuggets in her lap while leaning against the fluffy spider demon behind her.

It felt weird at first being in the hotel with mostly women but it had slowly become like a second home, her new found friends appreciated her for the work she did and didn't boo when she did her little cockroach shows for them. She continued to grin bouncing up and down happily but slowly her fever took its hold and lulled her into a soft sleep, as she soon laid against Angel Dust. "Ani-san..." That phrase rolled off her tongue naturally as she nuzzled into the twink's chest fluff.

(Here you go, folks! I was reading up on some of the characters and figured why not give sick/ overworked Niffty a try. She's a giant ass psychotic weirdo, and we love her for it.)