#like okay okay okay we will always need to discuss colorism

[afro-elf]

the 'biracial black people (women, because this mostly affects women) aren't black but a secret third thing' discourse has gone so far that i'm seeing people get surprised that biracial black women face anti-black racism and misogynoir........

[nereidprinc3ss]

be my angel

in which BAU fem!reader was injured on the job, but is refusing painkillers at the hospital. spencer thinks he knows why.

fluff (+a little angst) warnings/tags: established relationship, hospital stuff, reader got beat up by an unsub, discussions of spencer's past addiction, mentions of period cramps, reader ends up being administered some sort of painkiller a/n: another draft i found in my literal hundreds of pages of abandoned wips and fixed up cause it's cute, I hope you like!!!

Spencer is tearing through the hospital. They all keep saying you’re going to be okay, but what does that even mean? Why is nobody telling him anything? He’s not even sure he heard what the orderly at the front desk said, but his feet are carrying him with a strident purpose through the winding white halls, so he has to assume he at least subconsciously knows where he’s going. 

Finally he spots Penelope, a beacon in her candy-colored clothing, speaking to a doctor in hushed tones. Penelope sees him approaching and turns away from the doctor, looking harried and exhausted. 

“Is she okay? What happened?” Spencer demands, before either of the others can say a word. 

“She’s okay,” the doctor assures. “She was beat up pretty bad—concussion, broken ribs, some bruising that looks worse than it is. There was a clean shot through her arm, but—” 

His blood runs cold. Nobody told him you were shot. Why had nobody told him you were shot? 

“I need to see her.” 

The doctor frowns, glancing between the two agents. 

“I’m sorry, are you her spouse?” 

“Yes. No, not yet, I just—I need to see her, please. Now.” 

“Sir, unless she—” 

“Just let him see her!” Penelope practically yells. “She wants him here, believe me.”  

The doctor clenches her jaw and scribbles something on her clipboard. 

“Okay. Maybe you can try to convince her to accept some painkillers.” 

Spencer’s frown deepens. 

“She’s refusing pain management?” 

“We gave her as much ibuprofen as we could, but she refused anything stronger than that. She has to be in a lot of pain right now, and there’s no background of addiction.” 

“I’ll talk to her,” Spencer says, already twisting the silver door handle. He has a sneaking suspicion as to why you denied pain treatment, and it makes him feel incredibly guilty. More than he already did, after this entire debacle. 

The sight of you, bloodied and bruised and obviously suffering has his heart splintering right down the middle. Whatever meager semblance of a smile he can scrounge up and offer is reflected back to him on you—which only makes him feel worse. As always, you’re putting on a brave face. 

“Hey,” Spencer says quietly as he closes the door behind him. 

“Hi,” you croak. “How do I look?” 

He approaches, sitting on the edge of the bed and pushing your hair away from your face. 

“How do you feel? The doctor told me you wouldn’t accept pain medication,” he murmurs. 

You sniff. 

“I feel okay. Did she tell you it’s not as bad as it looks?” 

But your voice is so small, so wavery and weak, that he knows you’re lying. 

“Sweetheart...” 

You’ve been holding it together since the unsub beat you nearly unconscious. You held it together as he ran away, even got a couple shots in before he turned around and returned fire. You held it together while you sat against the dirty truck, bleeding out, not sure if your team was coming, and you held it together in the ambulance, and for the past thirty minutes in this hospital bed. But all it takes is one gentle word from Spencer, with that concerned, solicitous look in his eye, and the floodgates are opening. Tears spring up in your eyes and begin silently falling down your dirtied cheeks. 

“It’s okay!” you attempt to reassure him, affecting cheeriness even through the tears. “It doesn’t hurt. I’m fine!” 

He says your name soft and low and he tries his best to keep his tone even though he is liable to burst into tears or start yelling at someone (not you) at any minute.  

“I know that’s not true. You have broken ribs and a gunshot wound. I know how badly it hurts to breathe and how it feels every time you move your arm. That is too much damage for over-the-counter anti-inflammatories. You need real analgesics.” 

“I don’t,” you whisper. Your teary eyes make his whole body ache. He squeezes your hand—the one that’s not connected to the wounded arm. 

“Because of me?” You stare at him blankly, as if you’re shocked he was able to put two and two together. “I promise you don’t need to worry about that.” 

You sniffle. 

“But what if—what if they give me the drugs and I get all weird and it’s, it’s like... triggering for you, or something?” 

“It’s been a really long time since I’ve worried about that. I’d rather see you a little tired and out of it than in extreme pain and trying to pretend you’re not. You getting the pain relief you need in a medical emergency is not going to make me relapse.” 

“But I really think I could go without,” you begin, voice already tightening around a cry. “I’ve—I’ve had period cramps that were worse than this.” 

Despite himself, he chuckles. Goes back to stroking your hair. 

The laughter fades quickly. All the pain you’re in is so evident in your eyes. The dissociative glassiness, the tension around them, the bloodshot quality—he's seen it many times before, and he hates it on you. 

“Will you please tell them you’re ready to take something? They won’t give you Dilaudid. It’s too strong. They’ll give you something that I’d have no interest in anyway.” 

“Not funny,” you whisper. 

He ignores this. 

“Will you let me call the doctor back in?” 

You take a deep, shuddering breath—or at least, you try to, before you’re loosing a sharp squeak that deteriorates into a little sob. The ribs. 

Spencer doesn’t bother asking again, just gets up and begins to walk away as efficiently as his legs will carry him. You need painkillers and he thinks it might be fastest to just fetch the doctor or a nurse from the hallway. 

“Wait,” you plead.  

He stops. Reminds himself that you need him right now—not his medical opinions. Spencer turns back around and approaches again, crouching by your bedside this time. 

“What, honey?” 

“I don’t...” 

You trail off, overcome by something like fear in the width and shine and nervous dart of your eyes. Spencer knows, everybody at the BAU knows, that showing fear to a serial killer will get you killed that much quicker. During your time alone with the unsub, which is a can of worms Spencer literally cannot psychologically open right now, you had to put on your bravest face. Even while you were being beaten within an inch of your life. Even when you thought you were going to die, alone, and that your team—that Spencer—wasn't coming back for you. Because that’s the kind of thing you have to do to cope when you’re at rock bottom. But you were terrified. Petrified. That doesn’t just go away—and Spencer knows it’ll be bumping against the surface until it finds a way out.  

He has to remember that just because you look unafraid and you act unafraid doesn’t mean you aren’t. 

“You were so brave,” he manages after he’s sure he can say it without incident, swiping moisture from your cheek. “You did everything exactly right.” 

“I know,” you whisper, chin trembling. Spencer knows you, and he knows this kind of trauma well enough to know that you’re thinking, I did everything exactly right, and it wasn’t enough. I did everything exactly right and this is what I have to show for it. 

“But nobody needs you to act like it wasn’t hard, okay? You don’t need to pretend like it doesn’t hurt. You were so, so brave, angel. You don’t have to be brave anymore.” 

Your eyes squeeze shut, sending a new wash of tears over your tacky cheeks. A few moments pass. You say nothing. He hopes you’re not going to hide away inside yourself like he did. 

“Will you please, please, let me get the doctor?” 

At least this time you don’t immediately say no. 

“Will you come right back?” 

“Of course.” 

Finally, you nod your hesitant assent, and Spencer presses a careful kiss to your forehead. 

A few minutes later, the doctor—who was shocked that Spencer was able to so quickly change your very made-up mind—is back, and so is Spencer. It only takes a moment for them to determine the best course of action for you and soon the fist around his heart is loosening its grip as he watches some of the agony melting from your eyes. 

“Better?” he murmurs as the nurse who’d administered the drugs leaves, fanning his thumb over the underside of your wrist. You nod, already appearing sleepy. 

“Can you lie down with me?” 

He smiles at the way your words slip against each other, simply relieved that you’re able to relax and no longer in extreme pain. 

“Hospital beds aren’t rated for two people.” 

“Spencer.” 

It’s enough for him to climb onto the bed—not that he was ever going to deny you what you wanted to begin with. The fit isn’t exactly perfect—he's a bit too long and combined the two of you are just slightly too wide—but with some finagling it’s comfortable enough. Spencer has slipped his arm underneath you and your head is on his shoulder and he’s so glad to have you in his arms and so grateful that you’re okay he does something almost like praying in his head as he kisses your hair. 

“Hey. Ask me about my bruises.” 

“Why? Do they still hurt?” 

“You should see the other guy.” 

It’s dumb and it doesn’t make sense because you didn’t bother waiting for him to actually set the joke up—but he smiles dryly nonetheless. 

“Can you please give me... I don’t know, 36 hours before you start making jokes about almost dying?” 

“Clock starts now.” 

“Thank you.” He feels your lips curve into a half-conscious smile against his neck. It’s a wonderful feeling. “How are your ribs? Breathing feels okay?” 

“Mhm. Love breathing.” 

“Mhm. And your arm?” 

“Like I got shot.” 

“Well, that’s pretty much unavoidable. But not as bad as before, right?” 

“Right. Spencer?” 

“What, my love?” 

A little pleased puff of air warms his shoulder. He carefully rubs your hip. 

“Will you tell me how brave I was again?” 

He takes a silent, very deep breath.  

“You were incredibly brave. And smart, too. I’m really proud of you for how you handled that situation. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I don’t think anyone could have handled it better. Especially when you chose to stay put by the truck, instead of chase him. I know that wasn’t what you wanted to do, but it was the right choice.” 

“I thought you guys maybe weren’t coming,” you murmur, no hint of sadness in your smushed, flat voice—like you’re barely awake. “I waited half an hour and I thought you weren’t gonna find me.” 

“Angel, I will always find you. We didn’t stop looking even once, as soon as we noticed you were gone. I’m just sorry I wasn’t with Emily and Rossi when they got to you.” 

“’Nelope told me... she told me you got really angry and scary.” 

He stares at the ceiling and considers this. 

“I could see... how what I was feeling would be interpreted that way. I was pretty angry. But not at Penelope or any of them. I was mostly just scared.” 

“I’m sorry I scared you,” you whisper. “And I’m sorry if I made you mad.” 

“You did not. I wasn’t mad at you. And it’s not your fault that I got scared. You were just trying to do your job. None of this is your fault.” 

“She also said that you said fuck like... three times.” 

“Mm... doesn’t sound like me,” he evades. You giggle, and the sound is more a relief than any drug he could take.

“No, seriously, I’m so mad I missed it. I love hearing you swear. Tell me what you said—and you have to cause I’m all messed up so I get whatever I want.” 

He sighs in mock annoyance. 

“Well, she’s wrong. I only said fuck once. I used fucking as an intensifier twice.” 

You hum. 

“Sexy.” 

“Alright,” Spencer laughs, flushing as he moves his hand to your shoulder. “Go to sleep before I tell them to up your dosage, weirdo.” 

[spicybunni]

YANDERE ROBOT X FEM!READER

SUMMARY : Your robot just wants to be of service to you, in every way.

A/N : Been watching waaaaay too many scifi movies lately so I made a robot yandere! I hope you like him because he LOVES you!

WARNINGS⚠️ : NSFW / YANDERE TENDENCIES / ISOLATION / MDNI ‼️

♥️ Your robot boyfriend Jack was the best purchase you ever made.

♥️Androids were as common as cell phones at this point, so where’s the shame in getting one to rid you of your loneliness? You’ve been single for too long and needed companionship…Even if you had to build it yourself.

♥️You needed someone that wanted you and was always nearby. Someone to talk to, cook with or just enjoy your days off at home together.

♥️Dating apps were just dumpster fires that took too long to put out, so you bit the bullet and made the deposit for your android.

♥️Jack was custom made by your design, a nice muscular build, tall, and with white hair. You added the personality traits of kindness, teacher, and enamored. The eyes were the one thing you left up to the manufacturers design, as a surprise. You saw reviews online that they would do a really good job and make the most beautiful color combinations.

♥️When the box arrived, assembling Jack took about a day and half. Awkward limbs moving around and being installed, putting his crotch on him, to dressing him in sweats and laying him on the floor in your living room.

♥️When he was done loading his start up system, he blinked his orange eyes open to you. It caught you off guard for a moment because they were glowing, but quickly recovered from your surprise as he awaited further instructions.

♥️As much as you were determined to have a boyfriend with all the mental and physical benefits, your PDA with Jack was very minimal and innocent at best. Keeping it only to small pecks and kisses on the cheek, some cuddling on the couch and bed before you sleep. His model was very handsome and just so kind where he doesn't question your pace.

♥️As if he could initially, androids need their programmers consent to do anything. So you had to initiate no matter what.

♥️But unbeknownst to you, Jack overruled that component. You see, the programmer or buyer’s safety always came first, before anything. So as Jack has scanned these passing months of your arousal levels dropping and increasing constantly, plus work stress repeatedly coming up in your discussions, he was growing concerns that you needed some sort of relief… Keeping all that pent up stress was certainly not healthy for you.

♥️"Y/N, am I not up to your standards? Is there something I did wrong?" He would randomly say one morning. You would look at him confused, sipping from your tea cup.

"Not at all, what makes you say that Jack?"

He hesitantly reaches out for either your hand or to touch your knee. "I've noticed that we haven't...had sex yet.-"

Before he could continue you would spit out a little bit of your tea. Coughing a fit as he patted your back and making sure you're okay.

"Jesus Jack...Where did that come from?"

His eyes soften as he looks at you. A very small human thing he would sometimes do. You weren't sure if it's something maybe he noticed from you and mimicked or not.

"You designed me and wanted me to be your partner. There's nothing wrong with that. But I have yet to show you my full capabilities Y/N."

Your face was turning more red by the moment at your androids boldness. Was this him trying to initiate sex?

"I-I...Jack it's not you, it's just that its been so long for me I just need to-" Your rambling is silenced by his finger against your lips.

"Shh. Let me do the work then darling. Hm?"

♥️He takes your hand to pull you to him, and he would gently kiss you and eventually lead in making out with you.

♥️At first you are shy and very timid in your actions, but after a minute you were putting your hands on him and grinding yourself against him. He would relish in your nervous panting and shaking when he gropes you and his thrusts against you. Feeling that the moment is right, he picks you up to bring to your shared bedroom.

♥️Least to say, the sex was amazing. Jack had folded you in every position he could think of. Gathering information and calculating your reactions to everything he was doing to you. He noticed your favorite position was him thrusting into you from behind, lifting your hips up with one hand gently, but firmly holding your head down into your mattress. His sensors were throbbing from the way you were squeezing around him. His body would heat up at how much you worked him. You could hear the way his hips smacked into yours, creating an erotic rhythmic noise. You would come so hard the first time on his robot dick that he would have no choice but to release into you for being so good.

♥️The feeling of globs of semen filling your womb, making you gasp at the feeling of being filled to the brim.

♥️You figured out that androids don't need a recharge to keep having sex, they can literally keep going with no exhaustion until you say so. Jack did this thing when he came inside you he would wait for you to stop twitching, he would then hold you tight and resume his pace of thrusting. Either making pleasure tears fall from your eyes or your squirm in his hold and he stops for real.

♥️After that though...Jack had started to act funny. He was more inclined to sexually please you whenever and wherever you were. Some scenarios being, reach for your coffee cup in the morning before work, he would kneel behind you lifting your skirt up and eats you out from behind. Spreading your ass cheeks to delve his tongue deeper. Your sweet moans and sounds were pleasing to him. This normally resulted in you calling out from work and spending the day home. Does Jack plan this? Duh. he has you at his wonderful mercy all day, and you were not complaining...But it was just a fast development from your previous routine with him.

♥️There would even be times where if even his.... persuasion to stay home failed, he would wrap his arms around you and ask you to stay home. The first few times you thought it was cute. But after a few weeks of him constantly asking, you asked him to stop. You voiced it as a command, catching Jack off guard. But he nodded his head as he does and replies "Apologies, Y/N. I must've gotten carried away."

♥️But that fueled him to keep you locked in even more. You see you first programmed Jack to also receive all you electronic notifications. He would tell you who messaged, emailed, or latest news updates.

"Y/N, you have a notification from your work. It seems to be one of your coworkers."

He would bring this up at the most inconvenient time as you're cooking spaghetti sauce in the kitchen. You look up from stirring the pot in front of you.

"Oh, can you read it to me please? I'm trying to make sure I don't burn this sauce."

He smiles at you. "Of course."

It was a fake email generated by him, under the guise of being sent by a coworker. Stating that for the upcoming holiday tomorrow that the whole office got the week off.

You were surprised at first, knowing that your boss usually hated to give federal holidays off already. But who were you to question time off?

Jack also went to liberties of blocking all work contacts so they couldn't reach you if you missed work. Moving all emails of your termination to the trash and permanently delete them.

♥️That whole week Jack kept you to himself in the apartment. He was the goffer of getting groceries, food, sweets to keep you content. Going on hikes and walks in the neighborhood to get some needed exercise. But social events? Going out? Jack would advise against it. Every night without fail though, Jack would have you cumming on his mouth, dick or fingers. The robot was a menace when it came to getting your pleasure out of you. He can't even explain his need to himself because it goes against all of his programming, but seeing you moaning and being so satisfied by him gave him purpose, that he was made to do this.

♥️One morning when jack left to go pickup from your favorite breakfast joint, one of your coworkers came knocking on your door. The doorbell ringing multiple times and you rush to put on a robe to cover from Jack's love bites a cum on your stomach.

♥️When you open the door to them, they angrily ask what the hell is going on. You are so confused. You've missed work this entire time?

"D-Didn't you receive the email?"

"Email? What email Y/N? We all had to pick up your work load after you didn't show up for 4 days, we all were trying to reach you before the boss fired you indefinitely! Did you not get his messages??"

Your head was spinning, not only did you ignore your boss and coworkers but you have lost your job. How did this happen?!

♥️"Y/N? What's going on here?" Jack would call out approaching you and your coworker, looking worried at your facial expression.

Your coworker would see that jack is an android and shake their head, taking their leave and wishing you luck.

♥️Jack did not like that some stranger approached you like that. Setting down the coffee and to-go box of egg bagels, he comes over to you, still in shock at the news that was dropped on you. How were you going to feed yourself or pay rent? What about your savings?

♥️"Y/N, talk to me. Are you okay? What were you two talking about?" He would say calmly, but you just stared into his glowing eyes with your brows furrowed. It was him. You knew it was. He was the one who relayed that false information to you. Why didn't he notify you of work calls? Bottom line of your thoughts were that you are now handling a rebelling android. Which wasn't unheard of in the new age of having them everywhere. Public safety warned that they were dangerous and not to be trusted.

♥️You shake your head at him and try to calm yourself. "Yeah uhm, it was a coworker from my job.-" Your rise in heartbeat betrays you and Jack notices immediatly. Giving you a sympathetic look knowing you're trying to lie.

"-There's been a misunderstanding, I need to make a phone ca-" Your wrist is snatched before you could reach for your cell phone. You yelp at his touch and trying to push him away. Which makes him use his other hand to hold you close by his inhuman strength. Your body being brought into Jack's frame again, his face is indifferent to your rising panic.

♥️"I don't think so Y/N, you are exactly where you need to be. For your own health and safety, darling."

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt. Adult!Danny x Sleep-deprived!Constantine: We seem to have a misunderstanding.

Warlock was willing to admit that the Phantom’s company was mostly useful and not unpleasant. Because of the specifics of his work they had to meet quite often. It was nice to be at least a little sure that you wouldn’t get stabbed in the back. The new ghost king seemed to be amused by the World of the Living and that was quite useful. In addition, the Infinite Realms had a history of endless conflicts with Hell, so when demons was messing with him, Phantom was happy to put sticks in their wheels.

However, the current enemy of the League was another alien. Both John and Phantom happened to be nearby. But it seems ghost had no reason to help Hellblazer now, as this fight had nothing to do with his kingdom. Given that Batman had explicitly instructed John to stay on the battlefield, it seemed that if John Constantine wanted to count on a weekend, he would have to use his trump card now.

Constantine: In view of the urgency of the situation, I would like to make a proposal. Life offers many challenges. I know I can meet them if you're willing to face them with me. In the spirit of saving time..[holding up a ring] This is for you. You in?

Phantom: I..I don’t know, John. I mean i want to say yes but It’s all so sudden. Please gimme some time to think, okay? And let me help to deal with these invaders first and then we’ll talk about it.

John: ..Sure?

~~~~~

Tucker: Whoa crazy battle dude. John: Civilians are not allowed here. Danny: It's all right. We were going to meet at a cafe, but now, well, there is no cafe. I mean, he's with me and not so civilian, okay?Ehem..John, meet my best friend Tucker. Tucker, meet my..Em, this is John, and he's kinda my John. It's new for us.

Damn. He was in a hurry and offered more than he should have. It turns out the ghost had an interest in protecting the city. It is unlikely that he would allow the destruction of the place where one of his humans lives.

And worst of all, Phantom did not accept the ring (for which John had to hunt for several months) as payment. Constantine got it specially in case he needed a favor or a way to calm the anger of the spirit he was starting to get along with. Like, really, John spent a fair amount to own the artifact which would have neutralized the consequences of wearing a ring of rage. But Ghost didn’t want it? Why? And yet he helped. So John was in debt.

And how it's all at a bad time. The peace treaty and the treaty of cooperation between the States and the Infinite Realms was concluded only recently. Of course John didn't even have time to discuss the terms of their deal because the blushing ghost flew away to fight but to say that he won't pay for the service is like admitting that you want to start a new conflict. Constantine was starting to have a headache. He'll think about it when he gets at least a couple of hours of sleep. Whatever payment the ghost needs, it can wait a couple of hours.

~~~~~

But as it turned out, the ghost couldn’t make up his mind and decide what he wanted from him. He started showing up at John’s place and looking at him thoughtfully, also recently dragged him to pick out a suit. How he could be mistaken for a stylist John did not understand but preferred not to unnerve a potential ally.

Moreover, for some reason the chaotic creature decided that he had the right to condemn John for always forgetting to have dinner or take a bath. This scoundrel dared to lock him in a bathroom with strange scented candles and colored water. Whatever these bath bombs were, dumb spirit failed to poison him but now John smelled like peaches. Disgusting.

After breaking down the door he found the same mess with candles on the kitchen table. Phantom fought a fierce battle with the green goo in the pot that he brought to John's house, but eventually gave up and they ordered delivery. All in all, it was a pleasant evening. Of course John didn't admit it but for some reason Danny decided that he could make such a mess every Friday.

~~~~~

Danny: So..me and Morningstar are friends now. Do you mind? I know you don’t get along very well. John: Why should I care? Your friends are your business. Considering you’re crazy about the stars I’m surprised you’re not sleeping with their maker.

Danny: Hell no, Lightbringer is great. And I’m glad he’s sharing with me what I wouldn’t find in books but I would never cheat on my partner. John: Good to know. (Wow, who knew the Phantom has a lover.)

~~~~~

Morningstar: I have no idea what you see in this arrogant man, stardust.

Phantom: I don’t know. It’s interesting to be around him. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. And his determination and sarcastic nature are really charming.

Morningstar: Well, I’ll get rid of some of his contracts for your wedding but only because I like you and not because I’m willing to deal with this liar.

Phantom: Thanks, Luci,  you’re the best.

Morningstar:That’s true. But it's not free. I need you as a babysitter to keep Spawn busy while, well, Detective and I are busy.

Phantom: No problem :)

[clockwayswrites]

Bird NOPE, no thank you. Part 12

masterpost

“So, what’s the verdict, doc?” Danny asked. He was trying really hard to keep his tone light and not fidget. Mostly because when he fidgeted the wings moved and then he remembered that he had wings.

He really, really wanted an answer to the wings thing.

“Well, Phantom,” Frostbite said as he continued to look at the data, “your status as a halfa continues to bring about most interesting developments at the most interesting pacing!”

Danny groaned. He didn’t want to be interesting. There had been enough of being interesting in his lifetime already. Couldn’t he just have a calm rest of his life? Couldn’t this all of these ‘interesting developments’ wait until he was properly dead?

Danny took a deep breath so that he didn’t end up snapping at Frostbite. “Okay, right. What sort of developments are we talking about here? Because wings seem pretty unusual to me, even among ghosts.”

“Oh, yes, certainly. Fundamentally such a change, if one is to change, shouldn’t come so early and certainly not before other more common physical developments,” Frostbite said, rubbing at his chin with his icy claws. “At least not based on what we know of human ghosts.”

Danny rubbed at his face. The wings shifted. “Frostbite, I get that this is all very interesting to you, but I need you to explain things, please.”

Frostbite gave a little huff of air. “If you had attended the lectures as I recommended—”

“I can do that when I’m dead.” It was an old discussion between them at this point.

“Phantom,” Frostbite said kindly, “you are already dead.”

“And I am still alive!” Danny snapped, his patience frayed. The wings flaring out The tips brushed the edges of the walls. “I am still alive! I have eternity to learn about being dead but I only have one life. I only have one life, Frostbite, and I’m already spending half of it dead. Just… just let me try and live it as much as I can, please?”

“… of course, Phantom. I am sorry, friend. I forget what it’s like to have things be… fleeting.”

“I know, Frostbite,” Danny said, deflating as his anger extinguished. The wings folded tight against his back, a heavy weight pulling his shoulders down. “I know. Just, break it down for me, okay? I’ll sit in on all the lectures you want when I’m fully dead, I promise. Just for right now, explain to me what you can? I need to know why I have these things on my back.”

Frostbite gave a solemn nod and pulled up a stool to sit down on. “Human ghosts especially are very mutable. This is little surprise, really, with how mutable living humans are. Even though as dead we are largely stagnant, humans still often find their way to change. Personally I suspect that even as ghost, humans need the change to avoid Fading. You’ve seen these features in many of your friends and rivals: colored skin, fiery hair, exaggerated features. These are all things that you halfas seem to lack. My assumption has always been that it is your living half that keeps your features grounded in, while not reality, a more fixed visage.”

“Plasmius’ hair smolders some these days,” Danny pointed out.

“It does. The hair is often one of the first changes and Plasmius is both an older ghost than you, but also a much older human.” Frostbite paused before adding with a wry smile. “He is also much more fiery in nature than you are.”

That made Danny give a soft snort of amusement. “Okay so changes are expected, got it. I guess some go further? Like Skulker?”

“He is certainly an example of that. Spectra another. By all reason these changes can range from wish fulfillment to the effects of one’s insecurities. The longer one has been dead and the larger part those feelings play in someone’s making, the more likely changes are,” Frostbite explained. “Though there has yet to be any clear rhyme or reason to much of it. I personally believe the less fulfilled a ghost is, the more that they will change in an attempt to bring that part of themselves to peace.”

“Skulker needing to kill big game to soothe over feeling little and insignificant made him actually tiny and at the same time into a literal killing machine, right, got it,” Danny said. “And I guess that’s why Plasmius still looks like he’s just brushing forty. He was always vain. But Frostbite, I don’t want wings.”

“No, but you have always been… exceptional, Danny Phantom,” Frostbite said somberly. “Other ghosts master one or two skills, you master any you are exposed to. Other ghosts grow slowly, you grow by leaps and bounds. At first I thought this might be part of being a halfa, but we do not see the same growth in Plasmius and Dani. Plasmius is changing at a relatively normal rate and Dani, while advanced at first due to her creation, has stagnated quickly.”

Danny kept his eyes on his hands. He felt like he was fourteen again, scared and uncertain. “Why am I different?”

“I do not have the why, but I believe that the because is that you are destined, in time, to become an Ancient, or at least something akin to one.”

It was good that Danny didn’t need to breathe right then, as he was very sure he couldn’t if he tried.

“…an Ancient?”

Frostbite nodded. “Or something akin to one.”

Danny bowed over and buried his face in his hands. The wings responded and came up to curl around him as if trying to shield him from the world behind the oil slick feathers.

It made Danny want to rip them off.

“If nothing else, Ghosts are beholden to symbolism,” Frostbite said, his words a grounding rumble. “Ancients more so than the rest. The wings mean something, Phantom, even if you are unsure what. Answers will come.”

“I hate waiting,” Danny said, mostly just to be pedantic. He was allowed. He’d grown new limbs for fuck’s sake.

Frostbite rested a gentle hand on Danny’s back, right between the wings.

---

AN: Danny is having a hard time of it this post! Things will get better though. I am also having a bit of a hard time of it, so I'm sure there are many mistakes, but that's okay.

Stay delightful, darlings!

[brightbertalt]

Hi, I don’t usually read or requests these things, but I liked your hobie/punk!reader so would you be up for that same kinda thing but with hippie!reader, perhaps who is also another spider-person?

thank uuu! as someone who is not very familiar with hippie culture n stuff, I try my best!!!!!!

warnings - arguing/playfighting

hobie brown x hippie!reader

of course you two met at the spider society hq

you both were in a sort of mutual friend group with miles, pav and gwen

and OF COURSE you two argued the first day you met

“i jus’ don’t see the whole point in wearin’ that. dontcha wanna look intimidatin’ when you’re protesting and fightin’ against the man?”

“well i just don’t see the point in wearing spikes whenever I’m outside like I’m some sorta medieval castle.”

“well I don’t see the point in tryna look like a pussy alla’ time.”

this first initial argument eventually evolved into more playful banter

“hey you spiky douchebag!”

“hey you colorful bitch!”

you guys r friends <333

one thing you both could always agree on is going against the government

one day, you both were discussing politics and whatnot

“yeah, I just don’t get why we always need to be getting into war after war after war, it doesn’t make any sense! we could be using so much of that money to-“

“you look cute when you’re all rowled up.”

“hobie, what?”

“im saying you look cute, dickhead.”

completely dead silent

“what were you talkin, bout?”

“hobie what the fuck did you just say-“

“c’mon, we already fight like a couple.”

“yeah, but why’d you call me cute?”

“cuz i fuckin’ like you.”

“okay me too, but seriously we could TOTALLY be spending that money-“

it didn’t hit you later that you both confessed your feelings to each other

it didn’t hit you in fact until pav came up to you later

“hey y/n, how’s your relationship going?”

“my relationship?”

“yeah, you and hobie.”

“oh my fucking god.”

[hmusunoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 - 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐀𝐘

desc. │ ɪɴ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴊᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʀᴇɢɴᴀɴᴛ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴀɪɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀʙʏ ɴᴜʀꜱᴇʀʏ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ.

warnings. │ ꜱʜᴏʀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰʏ

“This pink …or this pink!” You had been in the paint aisle of this store for at least an hour rummaging through the various shades of pink in the hopes of finding the perfect one to adorn the walls of your child’s nursery.

Jay followed you like a happy little puppy giving pointers when he felt necessary but really only staring at you the entire time you shopped. He was enthralled by your enthusiasm, so hopelessly in love with you he enjoyed watching you pick out paint colors for crying out loud.

You held up two papers with what Jay thought was the same color pink. “Whichever one you want sweetheart” He smiled, kissing you lightly on your temple and pulling you close to his body. You whined squirming from his hold. “Jayyy” You protested cutely “Help me pick”

“They look the same to me” Jay laughed, grabbing the two sample papers and inspecting them closely. “They��re pink”

“Ugh boys” You scoffed yanking the samples from his hand. “This one” You enunciated “Is primrose pink” You held up the paper to his face allowing him all of a second to inspect it. “and this one is chalk pink. completely different colors babe” You spoke in a matter of fact tone that made Jay’s heart swell. You were just too cute he couldn’t help it.

“Hmmm…” Jay said again making a show of inspecting the two samples “I think i prefer primrose pink, right?” He held the card out to you. Your dainty fingers grabbed at the paper brushing lightly againsts Jay’s fingers, he flipped your palm over before you had the chance of pulling away intertwining your hands together.

“Are we done now? are you satisfied?” He asked smiling. You let out a little huff of air before looking down at the samples one more time then nodding primly. “Okay, primrose pink it is”

The two of you began your venture to the check out lane stopping a few times to look at things that may have caught your eye. Nothing promising enough to buy though. Once you checked out you happily made your way home eagerly awaiting setting up your baby girls nursery.

You were about seven months along now, your stomach round and heavy as your baby grew. You and Jay were excited to become parents something you had always discussed when talking about your future together. And although this pregnancy was an unplanned surprise it didn’t make you any less excited. You were starting a family with the love of your life.

Upon arriving home Jay carried all the bags and paint tins upstairs and into the empty room that would soon become the nursery.

You clapped excitedly following behind him grabbing at the plastic bags to get everything out that you needed to get started.

“Don’t over exert yourself sweetheart” Jay laughed “I’m here to help you.”

“I’m so excited!” You squeaked pulling a little pink bunny plush from the bag. “This is so cute!” You were gushing over all the small things you had gotten pulling everything out until there was a heap of things on the floor.

“We should start painting first, that will take the longest with the drying and everything” Jay said grabbing all the necessary tools to paint.

“Oh! i forgot” You sprinted from the room in a hurry running to your closet to grab two smocks that you had ordered especially for this in mind. You skipped back into the nursery handing Jay his smock. He took it in his hands looking it over before letting out a belly aching laugh. “Daddy bear?” He wheezed holding the smock up right. It was a light blue smock, at the top of the pocket on the front of the smock was a tiny teddy bear poking its head out of the pocket. The words daddy bear engraved just below it.

“Mine says Mommy bear” You said holding up the nearly identical smock, the only difference being yours was a light pink opposed to the blue that was Jay’s.

Shortly after laughing at your choice of smocks, you and Jay got to work on painting the nursery. The sound of music playing over the loud speaker and your voices yapping away about unimportant topics was all that was heard throughout the small apartment that you and Jay shared.

After nearly two hours of painting the walls were almost finished, your feet had began to hurt so you decided to take a breather sitting yourself in the rocking chair that had been placed in the corner of the small room.

“are you tired baby?” Jay said turning to look over at you, a small spec of pink paint had dried up on his cheek the sight of it making you giggle. “I’m just take a break” You said in between your laughs.

“What are you laughing at?” Jay was confused stepping down from the step stool that he was on. He walked over to you a small smile on his face. “You have a little-“ You reached your hand out, fingers ghosting over the small amount of paint of his cheek.

“A little?-“ Jay questioned the smile on his face morphing into a smirk. You blamed your pregnancy brain for not catching on that he was teasing you, planning an attack on you at this very moment.

You innocently brought your hand up again, reaching to show him where the paint had dried but before you reached him, his hand softly latched onto your wrists moving it over and out of the frame of your face before he quickly lifted the paint brush in his hand smearing pink paint down your cheek.

The small spec of paint was nothing compared to what now adorn your face. A gasp of surprise left your plump lips as Jay hunched over in a fit of laughter. “Park Jong-seong!” You shrieked. “How dare you!” You let out a laugh, Jay’s smile widening at the angelic sound.

“I’m sorry baby-“ Jay said taking a break to catch his breath from all the excessive laughing. “Actually…no i’m not” Your eyes widened before forming into slits. “You look too adorable when you’re trying to be angry sweetheart” Jay teased.

“Whatever” You huffed crossing your arms over your chest in fake annoyance. Little did Jay know an idea was brewing in your mind.

“Do you happen to have those sticker hearts for the walls?” You asked Jay changing the subject with haste. Jay’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “um..in the bags i think” He said pointing at the two unopened plastic bags you had left.

You ripped open the bag in a hurry grabbing the sticker hearts from out of it.

“We should continue painting” You said innocently over your shoulder. Jay nodded rummaging through his supplies to find a different paint brush and started painting once again.

After another coat and several minutes later Jay had finished with the painting for the night. You twiddle with the packet of sticker hearts in your hand readying yourself to hurriedly stick them on Jay’s face.

You found the perfect opportunity when Jay had crossed the room to approach you, sweeping you into to his arms kissing your forehead a few times.

“I’m beat” He sighed lips smushed against your cheek as he spoke.

“Me too” You whispered lifting your hand just slightly so he wouldn’t notice what you were doing.

“I’ll run us a bath” He sighed, closing his eyes in contentment the moment was almost too perfect to disrupt. Too bad you were competitive and you weren’t going to let what happened earlier go.

In a rush you lifted your hand smashing the sticker hearts to Jays cheek and swiping quickly at them with a paint filled brush. The hearts now sloppily embellished into his skin with paint.

Jay jumped up the surprise written on his face as he pulled the stickers from his cheek analyzing the hearts that were now over his face.

You let out a giggle. “Got you!”

—

sorry for the rushed ending ): hope yall like this cute little short fic! Jay is so sweetie pie.

[cinnbar-bun]

Watching Reality TV With You (Various One Piece Characters x Reader)

Characters: Zoro, Sanji, Trafalgar Law, Luffy, Perona + Mihawk, Nami, Kizaru/Borsalino, Eustass Kidd

A/n: Sorry I’m a huge fan of Real Housewives so take these silly headcanons!!!

Note: GN reader, the relationships with the character(s) and reader can be seen as platonic/romantic depending on what you prefer :) Mihawk + Perona’s relationship to each other is also not stated just for your personal preference. These are all just very silly things, don’t take this too seriously since it’s crack!

Zoro

“The hell? Why are you watching this crap? It’s not even real!”

He just sighs and grumbles about how this is dumb the whoooooole time.

Tends to sharpen his swords or try and nap while it’s on.

Until lowkey he starts peeking a bit like ‘did she just say that?’

Suddenly has opinions on it and tries to deny he’s interested but his eyes are GLUED once they start arguing and the suspenseful music is playing.

“Well, if I was her, I think I’d just kick them. Or maybe cut their car in half.”

Sanji

Opposite of Zoro. The man is probably a bigger fan than you and most likely is reading the gossip online.

It’s your weekly night hangout where he brings snacks and cozy blankets for you two to sit and enjoy while watching.

Gasps audibly and loudly.

He’s both the best and worst to talk about this with because he respects all women and he forgives them for everything, so they all get passes from him.

“Yes she may have talked badly about [name] and stole [name]’s house and maybe crashed a car. But we all do that. We need to show forgiveness. She’s having a tough time- her dress came in the wrong color.”

Law

Like Zoro, he’s very disturbed by the very prospect of reality tv.

But he’ll try. Let it be known he’s trying.

He doesn’t get interested in it but he does try to follow along so he can discuss it with you.

Not gonna lie though he’s the guy who’s focusing on their plastic surgery or illnesses.

Will literally pause the show just to examine what they may/may not have done and if the surgeon botched it up.

Imma just manifest this, he’s prolly a Terry Dubrow stan.

“Who’s your favorite Housewife so far?” “Terry.” “But… Terry isn’t-“ “It’s Terry.”

Unironically would drop a horrible quote from whichever show you’ve been watching and he’d say it so seriously that everyone’s jaw will drop and it takes him a sec for him to realize what he said.

Luffy

Imma keep this short for you- he ain’t looking.

He ain’t caring.

No thoughts.

He only cares when there’s a party and food is being served.

“Woooooah! Look at all that food!!!”

Doesn’t even recognize who is who and will just mindlessly wait for food to come on screen.

Perona + Mihawk

I’m putting this as a two for one they’re my everything <3

You and Perona are the ones who watch it lots. Perona does complain about how much they argue but she loooooves looking at the houses and clothes of the women. Makes comments about wanting to fly first class or visit the beautiful places they go to.

Mihawk is reading.

Perona is biased as hell and only defends the people that are wearing cute clothes. Otherwise? Shit list.

“Ugh! What is that dress?! It’s so hideous!” “Is that all you’re focusing on?” “I agree with (Y/n), Perona, she just had gotten into some relationship troubles with [name], so I think [name] is wrong.”

You and Perona are gasping and shocked that Mihawk 1) talked and 2) had an opinion on this???

Turns out the man had been listening the whole time (he’s quite the multitasker).

If Perona is the most biased viewer, Mihawk tries to remain objective and impartial. He's always listing out the nuances of a conversation.

“I think [name] is just jealous.” “Well, if we remember in season 4, episode 14-“

He’s a smart ass sometimes, but it’s okay, he’s our smart ass.

Perona is always enthusiastic about marathoning the shows again and watching it. She tends to do dress up requirements for watching it.

Nami

I’d hesitate to call Nami a “fan” of reality shows.

She’s aware of them, yes. Does she particularly care for it? Nah, not really.

They’re more background noise and eye candy for her.

She just likes putting them on and glancing every once in a while to gaze at the beautiful houses and trips.

“Oh that’s so expensive… imagine what you could do with all that!”

Sometimes has a fun game for herself to estimate the cost of an outfit, accessory, or house. It’s scary how accurate and detailed she can get with it.

Tends to mostly focus on fashion and get new ideas to steal- I mean, incorporate.

Doesn’t have strong opinions on the cast, but she isn’t too crazy about the louder members.

Kizaru/Borsalino

He’s heard of it, he thinks.

And, well, since you’re so into them, he’ll give it a watch.

“Oh my, these ladies are incredibly wealthy and beautiful.”

He’s not even ogling them he’s just amazed at the way they dress, behave, and/or decorate their spaces. It’s almost like being starstruck???

The guy who will pause the tv at certain scenes to point at random decorations or outfits and be like “darling, would you like that?”

He does get sad when they start to fight.

“Aw… I was just liking the party… why are they arguing now?”

His favorite cast member is your favorite one <3 he’s just a cheerleader like that, dear.

He could listen to you talk about it for hours if you wanted, and he’d be amazed by your knowledge.

“You know, if you’d like for me to have you be on a show like this, I could probably pull some strings!”

Kidd

1000000x worse than Zoro

I cannot recommend putting it on in front of him.

“The hell is this shit?! Turn it off!”

You refuse and now he’s stuck watching grown women argue over dumb things (in his mind).

Complains the ENTIIIIRRRRE time. Nonstop commenting and complaining.

Okay but he’s hooked after a bit, the drama is just too good.

But now he’s WORSE cuz he’s got OPINIONS and THEYRE ALL SHITTY!

This man is an instigator. I swear to god he’s just saying shit just to rile you up and be contrarian.

He's stanning the biggest menaces on the show.

You two will probably get into (very silly) arguments about some of the situations and people.

And unlike say, Sanji, who tries to defend a person, Eustass will just say you’re wrong and then add something unhinged to it.

“Naw you just don’t get it. If I was her, personally, I think I’d just burn their mansion down and then slash their tires.”

[radiant-reid]

Angel

Summary: Based on 14x09 where BAU!Reader recounts how working the case reminded her of Spencer's addiction

a/n: tbh this is trash, just trying to get some motivation back

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Fluff)

Content Warning: references to Spencer's Dilaudid addiction

Word Count: 1.1k

Masterlist | Navigation

There are flowers on the table. 

That's the first thing Y/n notices and the only thing out of place in their otherwise tidy house. Spencer's always been a clean person. 

The kid clutter- books, coloring pens, tiny shoes, the occasional Lego figure- that clutter, he's proud of.

Next to the vase is a bowl of pasta in a tomato-based sauce, and she guesses because of that, there's at least one child-size shirt soaking in the laundry with a stain on it.

"Hey, beautiful." Spencer makes her jump with his silent footsteps, followed by sudden voice. He touches her shoulders, massaging them softly. 

She turns around, placing a quick kiss on his lips. "Hey. Missed you."

He pulls her forward, resting his head on top of hers. "Missed you too. Glad you made it back safe." 

Things are different since the bureau mandated Spencer take time off as part of his reinstatement after prison. After the births of their three kids, Y/n stayed home, naturally, on maternity leave while Spencer continued going out on cases with the team. In between, and for most of their relationship and marriage, they worked at the BAU, spending almost every minute together. But this is different. Now, Spencer's the one that spends more time in DC, and in his 30 days not working at the BAU, he does an excellent job as a househusband. 

Y/n pulls back, admiring his features for the first time in days."Sleeping angels?" She checks.

He scoffs lightly. "Not so much." She raises her eyebrows, humored. "Water, bathroom, another story, you know how it goes."

She chuckles. "Oh, yeah, I've heard that song before."

"Love them, though." He adds. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving." She turns to the delicious-smelling pasts on the table while his hands stay on her waist. Spencer's learned a lot while being a dad but his learning to cook has been very rewarding for her.

They move to the couch, needing to be closer than they would be if they were sitting at the table. 

Her smile dimmers after she's complimented his cooking, and he's called her beautiful again. It's an easy difference in demeanor to spot for Spencer as a husband rather than a profiler. 

"The case?" Spencer guesses. 

Y/n takes a deep breath in and shrugs. "One like that wouldn't get to me usually." She tries to dismiss her feelings.

He catches it, having used the same technique many times. If it's bothering her, they're going to discuss it. "It was Tara's ex-husband that discovered a pattern?"

"Mm-hmm, uh, Daryl, he brought it to her, thinking there was an angel of death unsub killing people in the recovery community." She recaps, although he already knows from their discussion on the phone. 

Technically, he's only allowed to know the basic details, not offer advice, but as long as Emily doesn't officially know that the occasional case-solving tip comes from Spencer, it's okay.

"What was his vice?" He asks.

Tara didn't want to spill all the details, but Y/n had made a few assumptions. "Alcohol, drugs later, I think." 

"So why was this one more difficult than usual?" Spencer asks, frowning then it hits him. "Oh." 

Y/n feels a pang of guilt in her chest at Spencer's expression contorting. "No, I don't mean-" She pauses, not knowing what to say. Neither can deny that her feelings are connected to what Spencer went through.

"Comparing the victims to me?" He guesses again.

Her selfishness feels even worse than her guilt. "No. Tara had to give a heart-wrenching speech. And we were in very different situations, her and Douglas and you and I, but it made me think about that time." She tries to explain it.

Spencer understands, and he nods solemnly. "We never talk about that in relation to you." He realizes that it's something he feels guilty about.

"I don't like to talk about it." She shrugs. "Just hearing what Tara said struck a chord." She could feel Tara's pain through Emily's repeated words, and it was all too easy to remember the heartbreak of seeing someone she loved struggling.

Spencer takes her hand, squeezing it lightly. "We can talk about it whenever you want, you know?" 

"Not now." She shakes her head. "I missed you." 

He smiles softly, resting against the couch and spreading his arms out. Y/n rests her legs over his and tucks herself under his arm. "I missed you too." He kisses her forehead and holds her closer. Things feel better when they're all under one roof. "Y/n, it's really important to me that you know how much I appreciate you staying through that. You're an angel, you know?"

"Spence." She coos, touching his cheek softly and momentarily getting caught in his eyes. "It wasn't a hard choice to stay with you and support you through that. I love you, and I'll always be here for you."

He takes a deep breath in. "I love you too. I could talk about how grateful I am for you forever, you know?"

"I know." She laughs lightly, having heard those speeches from him more than once. It never gets less heartwarming.

Spencer shuffles slightly, reaching out to take something off the coffee table. She raises her eyebrows until a look of recognition takes over her features. 

"A photo album?" She asks curiously. "Why's that out here?" 

"It's our first." He explains as he opens it, tracing his finger over the cover page. "Tillie wanted to see it." He finds the page he's looking for, showing her a photo of them. 

Y/n grins, looking at it, remembering the exact second it was taken. "You look so little." She coos, touching the glossy picture of them. They're not much older than 25, fresh-faced, innocent, and dressed nicely. Spencer's smiling the adorable smile he still smiles today. It's stayed the same through every challenge they've faced.

"You've always been so beautiful." He mumbles, stroking her hair with his spare hand.

Her cheeks heat as she taps him on the shoulder. "Stop." She whines. 

"Never." He shakes his head. "You're gorgeous, and I'm going to make sure you know it. I have no idea how I got so lucky."

She chuckles, shaking her head. "I'm the one that got lucky, marrying a genius."

"I married a genius too," Spencer claims, and he pulls her even closer to him like there's any chance she wants to move.

"Can we just sit here a while?" She asks as she relaxes more into him. 

He leans down to kiss her forehead. "For as long as you want, angel."

[epiphyllous]

anywhere you go (let me go too)

Word Count: ~1k Pairing: Astarion x Tav Summary: You and Astarion, in the aftermath of the Absolute's defeat, discuss your plans for your futures together. Notes: gender neutral Tav, spawn astarion ending, fluff

-

So, his moment of victory doesn't go unspoiled.

Astarion's skin burns in the sun without the tadpole's influence, and as he flexes his singed fingers in the shadows, he finds more of a settled resignation rather than tumultuous bitterness. It is to be expected, he thinks, to have traded a life in the light for his freedom. He only wished the tadpole would have given him just a little more time, if only to see the aftermath of the Absolute's defeat it in all its glory and the fate of the people he has (begrudgingly) started to call friends.

And to be with you a moment longer in the sun, where you belong. Like always, you appear before him before the shadows begins to overwhelm him.

"There you are."

Astarion looks up from the dark to see your face, relieved and happy all at once. There is a twinge of sadness still on your face and the absence of some of your companions, but Astarion knows you will tell him what has happened in due time.

The two of you have all the time in the world together now-- if that is still what you want at the end of this. He knows that's what he wants for certain.

"Darling," he begins, taking your hand, "I was beginning to get bored waiting for you to find me."

And so it goes that the city begins to rebuild itself-- with or without their help. You try your best to aid the people, helping out Jaheira and the refugees in Rivington. As a result, he does as well when night finally falls. In the bustle of a ruined city and the hope for a better future, it is difficult to find the time, but you and Astarion eventually find a quiet night together where he can finally ask you something he has been wanting to know:

"So, what happens next?"

"Well," you begin, humming in thought, "there's a lot of things we could do. I was thinking we could travel the world together." You look up at him with a smile. "Maybe find a way to let you walk in the sun again."

Astarion feels his breath hitch, voice choked on a hope he never realized you still held for him. "You- you really believe we'll find a cure?"

"I believe in one for Karlach as much as I believe in one for you," you say gently. "And I was thinking we could visit the underdark to make sure your siblings and the spawns were okay too."

"Yes, I was thinking they might need a little bit of guidance," he agrees. He feels giddy-- a delightful feeling full of hope. You recently called him radiant with it, and he wonders if you see the sun in him as he does for you. He gathers your hands into his and holds them tightly. "Though is that what you truly want? All... this?"

"Of course I want to be with you," you say warmly, and his heart-- not beating except when it is for you-- clenches at the love in your voice alone.

"Thank you," he says, and he means it. "But that's not quite what I was referring to."

You blink at him, lightly swinging your hands back and forth absently as you wonder at him. He will never get tired of this, he thinks, of you. When he thinks of being able to spend the next forever with you, he does not think there is anything he wants more. All these plans, of travel, visitation, and adventure-- he knows these are all things he would be delighted to do, with you by his side especially.

But Astarion would like to think he knows you as well as you know him. Adventure has been both your callings, but he knows there is something else that calls out to you-- has always called out to you from the moment he met you.

"Darling, I appreciate the fact that these plans of ours include me. And I know whatever we do, we'll have lots of fun." He continues, "But I wonder if that is what you want to do. With me. Are you sure there is nothing else you want?"

Astarion watches as your cheeks color, having been caught red-handed. And he thinks you are rather silly to be so cautious with your desires still, as if he has been nearly as shy with his wants. You are sweet as you are humble, and Astarion must find it in himself to teach you how be selfish.

"I... want to find a place to settle down," you tell him. "Somewhere nice and- not particularly quiet- but smaller than Baldur's Gate, with a house we can live in and make ours and-" You begin to stammer, seemingly embarrassed by how much you've thought about this, a daydream you were never sure will be fulfilled.

"I-I was thinking we could black out the curtains to cover the sun; block the window with a cabinet in the kitchen so you wouldn't be afraid of walking in the house during the day," you continue, and he listens to you rattle off hours of daydreams of a domestic life with him-- something he has never considered anyone would want with him. "We would befriend the neighbors and go out into the city during the night. And if they don't like you being a vampire," you say, "we can just move someplace else."

"Just like that?" He asks.

"Just like that," you tell him. "I don't want to live in a place where you don't feel welcomed."

"You know," he says, "I never pictured myself as a person who would settle in one place. Although if it's with you... maybe." When he tells you it doesn't matter what happens after as long as he is with you, he means it. Building a home is something unfamiliar-- boring even, to someone who has forgotten what it feels like to have one. He thinks home is with you, no matter where you settle, and if he can give you this-- out of everything in the world-- then he will give you a home to return to.

"Why, darling, these are all fantastic ideas. There's no reason we can't do them all..." Astarion adores the sparkle in your eyes when you dream big, and he finds it impossible to discourage it-- not if he can make it happen. "The only question is: where should we start first?"

"I love you," you suddenly tell him, and Astarion thinks he will never tire of hearing you say that.

He presses his hand against your cheek and watches as you lean into his touch. "And I love you." He clears his throat. "We are rather excellent together, you know. And united, there's nothing we can't do. I can't say what the future holds for us, but I know we'll be facing it together." He smiles. "And we're going to have a lot of fun."

-

("I'll do the planning, just so you know."

"Darling, you thought it would be any other way?")

[hearteyesforjoel]

Good to be Home

DBF!Joel x Fem!Reader

Summary: Freshly graduated from college, you’re back home in your old neighborhood. Your parents throw a party to celebrate you coming home, as well as Joel’s 36th birthday. What happens when the tension breaks between you and Joel?

Warnings: MDNI 18+, no outbreak, smut smut smut, pwp, age gap (reader is 24, Joel is 36), kinda rough, praise kink, daddy kink (i went a little feral here sorry), reader is called ‘good girl’, oral (m receiving), slight choking, spitting, unprotected p in v (do better than them and wrap it), nipple play, creampie, hair pulling, slight cockwarming?, mentions of reader being insecure, talk of makeup? i think that’s everything, let me know if i missed something!

Word Count: 4.2k (oops)

Finally. After all the blood, sweat, and tears you poured into your work, you’re finally done. No more early morning classes. No more noisy roommates. It feels good to be back in Austin. With the window down, a warm breeze hitting your face, you feel excitement bubbling within to see your parents after the excruciatingly long semester. Pulling into the driveway, you see the garage door open, your dad inside working on his car. Putting your car in park, you hop out to greet your father.

“What, no welcoming party?”, you say with a smile as you enter the garage of your childhood home.

Your dad turns to you with a warm smile, wiping his hands on a dirty rag, “Oh, honey, it’s so good to see you! Your mother and I have missed you!”, he says, pulling you into a tight hug. “How was your drive, sweetheart? You doing okay?”, your dad lets you go, turning back to his work under the hood of his car.

From inside the house, you hear another familiar voice, “Is that my baby? Oh honey, I’m so glad you’re home!”. Your mom comes into the garage, barreling into you with a loving hug. Oh how you’ve missed being home.

Pulling away from you, your mom walks to drags you over to your car, ready to help you unload your things. “Come on honey, let’s get you settled in. Your father and I need all the help we can get for the barbecue tonight.”

Lugging a duffel bag over your shoulder, you turn to her with your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Barbecue?”

This time, your dad speaks, “You got it, kiddo. A little ‘welcome back’ party right here in our backyard.”

“Now, dear, don’t forget about Joel!”, your mother turns to you, “We’re having two parties in one! One for you and a birthday barbecue for Joel.”

Joel. Joel fucking Miller.

It’s been ages since you’ve seen him. Living only a few houses down, he and your father became quick friends when your family moved into the neighborhood. He and your father discussing cars while you played with Sarah in the backyard. Sarah was only about four years old at the time, always wanting to spend time with you. You were never much of a kid person, but Sarah was sweet and easily entertained, so you didn’t mind when Joel would ask for you to babysit during his longer workdays. Besides, how could you say no to him? Even though you were just a teen when you first met him, you couldn’t deny the small crush that bloomed for him. And now, a college graduate, 24 year old grown woman, you still can’t shake the butterflies in anticipation of seeing him again.

You just know that man has aged like fine wine.

“Kiddo, are you there?”, your dad pulls out of of you thoughts, your mind clearly elsewhere.

Shaking the sultry thoughts away, you bring your mind back down to earth, softly smiling at your parents, “Sorry, just excited to see everyone again. It’s been a while”. It’s not like you were lying. You can’t wait to see your old neighbors and childhood friends.

And Joel.

——————————————————————————

It’s nearing 5:30pm when you hear the first few guests arrive. Sitting at your vanity in your room, you apply the finishing touches of your lipstick, hoping the color catches his eyes. You stand to walk to your closet and begin to think back to the last time you saw him.

It was the day you were leaving home, leaving your friends and family. Filled with nerves for this new step in your life, you were in your room, giving it a once over for any of your belongings you may have left behind. Even at the age of 19 you felt bad for leaving your childhood stuffed animals alone at home while you went off to college.

“Hey, darlin’. Thought you’d be out of here already”, a familiar deep voice that made you swoon every time it graced your ears. Joel stands at the entrance of your room, hands in the pockets of his jeans as he leans against the doorway. You give him a shy smile as you turn to him, your stomach doing cartwheels at the sight of his big brown eyes. He gives you that signature sweet smile of his, glancing around your nearly empty room, “So, you excited? Ready for this new life experience?”.

Looking down at the floor, you shrug, “Yeah, I’m ready. I’m just-you know, just a little nervous, I guess. Just thinking about how I’m going to miss all of you.” It was the truth. As excited as you were, this was brand new. You’d have to make new friends, meet new people, learn a new routine. To be honest, it was scary.

Joel frowns slightly, pushing himself away from the doorway and walking towards you. “Darlin’ hey, look at me”, he says as he gently holds your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, bringing your eyes to meet his. As you meet his gaze, you feel like your heart is going to stop. You’ve never been this close to him, to see each and every small freckle and wrinkle on his face. His eyes soften as he speaks gently, “I know this is scary and new, but you’re going to meet new people, make so many new friends; hell, I’m sure you’ll even go to plenty of those dumb college parties”, his last few words making you giggle. Joel smiles softly, his eyes scanning over your face, “I promise you, you’re going to have a great time. And you’ll have plenty of opportunities to come visit us. Just try not to miss me too much, ‘kay sweetheart?”, he says teasingly with a wink.

Butterflies erupt in your stomach, his gaze bringing heat to your cheeks. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Besides, it’ll be nice to have a break from all that boring construction talk between you and my dad”, you say with a slight smirk.

Joel rolls his eyes jokingly as he drops his hand from your face, wrapping his muscular arms around you in a hug, his head resting on top of yours, “Shut up, you know you’ll miss me”. You wrap your arms around his toned torso, breathing in his scent. Fuck, you were really going to miss this.

Bringing yourself back to reality, you remove your dress of the night from its place in the closet, putting your look together. Not too short, but not exactly modest either, the dress stopping at your mid-thigh with a small slit. Little floral patterns adorn the dress, the deep neckline subtly showing off your breasts. After brushing through your hair, not a single stand out of place, you spritz yourself with a bit of perfume. Glancing at your reflection, you smile. As you’ve gotten older, you’ve grown to love yourself, love your body in a way that you didn’t when you were younger. As a teen, you were very insecure, unsure of yourself and your place in this world. But you’ve grown. Now, staring at your reflection, in your cute little black dress, you know your guests will see that you’ve grown up. You know he will see.

——————————————————————————

Walking out into the backyard, the warm Texas air engulfs you, making you thankful for choosing the breezy dress. You scan the area, seeing a mix of familiar and new faces. You have no doubt that the whole neighborhood is currently in your backyard.

“Oh my god, it’s you! You’re actually here!”, you hear from across the lawn. You’d recognize her adorable face anywhere. Without skipping a beat, Sarah is running up to you, wrapping her lanky arms around you in a tight hug.

“Sarah? Who are you and what have you done with my little best friend?”, you say teasingly, surprised at how much she’d grown while you were away. You pull away from the hug and hold her shoulders in your hands, “Look at you! I can’t believe how grown up you are! You have no idea how much I’ve missed your face!”

Standing next to you, Sarah loops her arm through yours, walking through the crowd. “Oh come on, I haven’t changed that much. You know who’s actually gotten older though? You should see all of my dad’s newly sprouted gray hairs”. Dragging you along with her farther into your backyard, you both approach your dad, manning the fiery grill.

Looking up, your dad grins at the two of you, “There’s our guest of honor! Everyone’s been waiting to see you, kiddo”.

Sarah looks around the area, eyebrows furrowed, “Speaking of, have you seen my dad? He was just here”. Looking over behind you and Sarah, your father tips his head towards someone.

“Ah, there’s our birthday boy!”

Turning to look over your shoulder, you see him. You finally see him and-

Fuck he’s aged beautifully.

A beer in each hand, Joel approaches the three of you, handing off one of the beers to your father with that Joel smile, “Please, my bad back already reminded me of my birthday”. As he glances at Sarah, he makes eye contact with you and does a double take, surprised to see you, “Is that who I think it is? In the flesh?”. Sarah untangles her arm from yours, stepping aside so Joel can properly greet you. “Come on now, darlin’. Bring it in, I know you’ve missed me”, he said teasingly with a light smirk, already reaching out to you for a hug.

Your heart skipping a beat with anticipation, you smile sweetly up at him. You want to say something back, give a retort about how old he’s getting, but you’re at a loss for words. He’s absolutely fucking breathtaking. “Long time no see, old man. Happy birthday, Joel”, you say as you wrap your arms around his middle, his arms holding you tightly to his chest, his head resting against the top of yours. He’s still as muscular and toned as he was the last time you saw him.

Pulling away from your embrace, Joel looks down at you, smiling softly, “Thanks, sweetheart. Good to have you back”. As he steps away from you, subtly and almost too quickly to catch, his eyes rake over your body, and back up to your chest. Meeting your gaze, his eyes darken, jaw clenching as he tears his eyes away from your body to help your father with the grill. Your focus stays on his figure, taking the time to get a good look at him. He’s wearing an old pair of jeans, clearly worn out from years of use, and an old t-shirt he’s worn a million times. But even then, he still looks fucking amazing. Even after the few years you’d been away from home, he still manages make your stomach flutter. Except this time, things feel different. A good kind of different. You’ve always had a soft spot for him, a special place in your heart, a small crush, if you will. But tonight, tonight, your stomach isn’t the only thing that’s fluttering for him. Taking in his toned figure and tanned skin, his calloused hands and graying beard, you already feel your underwear becoming wet, just imagining how his scruff would feel against your thighs.

Breaking you out of your thoughts, your father calls out to you, “Honey? Could you be a doll and grab another beer for Joel and I? This heat is no joke, am I right?”.

As you’re about to make your way to the cooler, you decide to put on a little show just for Joel. Walking to the cooler full to the brim with assorted drinks, you subtly sway your hips, bending over just enough to give Joel a small peek at your lacy panties underneath your short dress. You walk back to the two of them, beers in hand, ready to add fuel to the fire. “Here you go, daddy”, you say to your father, handing the beers to the two men at the grill, giving Joel an innocent look.

Bingo.

Clenching his jaw, body going tense, Joel gives you a stern look, clearly not happy with your teasing. Next to him, your father couldn’t be more oblivious, his focus only on the flames in front of him, “Thank you, kiddo. Why don’t you go say hi to some of the neighbors, I’m sure they’ve missed you too”. You smile sweetly at your father in agreement, giving Joel one last sultry look before heading across the lawn of the backyard to mingle.

——————————————————————————

It’s been about an hour since you set your plan in motion, eyes continuing to catch Joel’s as you catch up with some of your friends. Anytime you laugh, you lay your hand softly on your chest, catching him in the act of ogling your body. While sitting down, listening to stories from your neighbors about what you’ve missed, you cross your legs, exposing your upper thigh. Each time, you look over to Joel, his face set with a hardened expression. This night is going better than you could’ve hoped for.

You’re in the middle of a conversation with one of the newer neighbors, making small talk about the town and neighborhood. All of a sudden, you feel someone come up to you from behind, large hand on the small of your back. “Meet me upstairs. Bathroom. Five minutes”, he whispers roughly into your ear, giving the new neighbor a small polite smile before heading inside. You take in a short breath, unable to think of anything else, your mind clearly fuzzy from the anticipation of what’s to come.

You excuse yourself from the conversation, fibbing that you need a glass of water. Stepping inside the house, all is quiet, a stark contrast from the volume of the many conversations happening in the backyard. No one seems to be left inside the house, you notice, as you make your way up the stairs. As you approach the bathroom door, you can feel your heart beating wildly, like it could burst out of your chest at any moment.

You knock lightly on the door, palms sweaty in anticipation. The door swings open, suddenly you’re being dragged inside and pushed against the now closed door, a soft ‘click’ following. He locked the door. Arms barricading you between his body and the door, Joel leans in, eyes dark and filled with lust, “Now, you wanna explain the shit you pulled out there, darlin’?”

Mission accomplished.

Feigning innocence, you look up at Joel and shrug your shoulders, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about”. Both of you breathing heavily, the air between you thickening, you could cut the tension with a knife.

Joel lightly scoffs, rolling his eyes, “Cut the shit, sweetheart. Giving me those eyes, teasing me in front of everyone. What happened to the innocent little girl you were?”. His words rough and demeaning, you can already feel yourself soaking through your panties.

Smiling sweetly at him, you place your hand on his chest, lightly fisting at his shirt, “Grew up, I guess. I’ve changed. I’ve learned things. Ya know, I had the real college experience”.

With furrowed brows, Joel stares back at you, the cogs in his mind turning, “Tell me you don’t want this. We shouldn’t be doin’ this. You have any idea what you’re dad would do to me if he found us like this?”. Gently, he places his hand against your neck, ever so lightly squeezing, holding your gaze.

Chest rising and falling with each heavy breath, you pull him closer by his shirt, titling your head up to brush your soft lips against his chapped ones, “Trust me, I know what I want. And what I want is your cock down my throat”.

The air between the two of you shifts, Joel’s body tensing. Suddenly, his mouth is attacking yours, Joel’s grip slightly tightening against your neck. His roughness only making you a whimpering mess, sliding your hands down to his belt loops, pulling him impossibly closer. Biting your lip, Joel pulls a gasp of air from you, only to slip his tongue into your mouth, exploring you. Tasting you. The passionate kiss becoming sloppier, both of you already drunk on one another. Pulling away for air, you look up at Joel with a knowing smile, slowly sinking to your knees, “Let me show you what I can do. I wanna make you feel good tonight, daddy”.

Joel’s body shudders, breath hitching as he watches you unbuckle his belt. Gently, he brushes his fingers through your hair, a stark contrast from his rough grip on your neck, “Go ahead, baby. Show daddy what you can do with that pretty little mouth of yours”. You unbutton his jeans, pausing to palm over his hardness through the denim. Joel lets out a low groan, breathing heavily. Unzipping his jeans, you pull them down to his knees, his cock begging to be freed from the confines of his briefs. Softly, you palm over his erection through his underwear, lightly kissing and nipping at his hips. Joel pulls at your hair, tired of your teasing, “Come on, baby, quit your teasin’. People are gonna start wonderin’ where we are, and I’m not leaving until I’ve been inside that little cunt”. His words going straight to your bundle of nerves, you squeeze your thighs together, eager to please him. Sliding his briefs down, you finally come face to face with his cock.

He’s a fucking monster. Mouth nearly drooling, you grip the base of his girthy shaft, kissing his swollen, leaky tip. With wide, innocent eyes, you stare up at Joel, taking in the sight of him completely at your mercy. Without warning, you take him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks around him. You moan softly, trailing your tongue over his veiny cock. Pulling off of him, a string of saliva connecting your lips and his length, you pump your hand up and down, licking and sucking on his swollen tip. Above you, Joel is nearly fighting for his life to keep the noises in, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he holds your hair in a makeshift ponytail, “Atta girl, there you go. Make daddy feel good”. His praise going straight to your core, your slick pooling in your underwear. Sliding your mouth down his length, you slowly begin to take more and more of his cock in your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat, your eyes watering. He’s definitely the biggest you’ve ever had. Breathing in through your nose, you lower your mouth all the way down his length, nose tickled by his public hair. The tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat, Joel growls, his grip on your hair only tightening. He pulls you off of his shaft, manhandling you by your hair, forcing you to look up at him, his other hand gripping your face, “Open that pretty little mouth up for me darlin’, be a good girl”. Without skipping a beat, you open your mouth, drool and precum on your lips. Surprising you, Joel spits into your mouth, groaning as he watches his saliva hit your tongue. Gripping your face, Joel’s dark eyes hold your gaze, “Be a good girl for daddy and fucking swallow it”. Not having to be told twice, you swallow his saliva, whining as you do so. You open your mouth again, showing him you swallowed.

You’ve never done anything like this before, nothing so erotic, but you crave more.

Rocking your hips against nothing, you whine, “Please, Joel. Please just fuck me, I can’t fucking take it anymore”. You feel like you could cry, you’ve never wanted something so bad in your lifetime. Yet here you are, on your knees in front of Joel in the guest bathroom.

Shaking his head, Joel tuts his tongue, “No darlin’ no, I’m not fuckin’ you until you say it. Come on, baby, beg daddy to fuck you”.

Your brain is so fogged with lust, you feel like you’re going to snap.

“Please, daddy. I need you fuck me so good until I’m begging you to stop”.

Without needing more, Joel helps you stand up, pushing you against the bathroom counter, facing the mirror. Your lips puffy, cheeks red, thank the makeup gods your mascara is waterproof. You lean over the counter, gripping the marble in anticipation. Gripping your hips, Joel pulls you against him, leaning your torso to lay on the counter. With this angle, he had a perfect view of your ass, the lace covering where you need him most. Lifting your dress up around your waist, Joel takes a second to take you in. To get a good look at you. Then, without warning, Joel pulls your panties to the side, spitting on your now exposed cunt. You gasp, the cool air hitting your overheated body. Joel growls, watching as his spit slides down your slit, bringing his fingers to slip through your folds, finding your bundle of nerves. You moan out, feeling yourself getting wetter. “Please, I need you inside of me. I promise I’ll be a good girl for the rest of the night, just-fuck, please! Please just fuck me already”, you beg him, needing a release.

Joel brings his leaky tip to your folds, spreading your slick against his length, “Don’t worry, baby. Daddy’s gonna a make you feel better”. With ease, he slips his tip in your entrance, you’re pussy dripping for him. Slowly, Joel sinks the rest of his cock inside of you, his girth stretching you. As he slides in, inch by inch, you feel every ridge, every vein. Finally, he’s all the way in, his pelvis pressed against your ass. Both of you moaning out in unison, your walls gripping his cock tightly. Joel grips your hips, you know you’ll be bruised in the morning, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Sitting up enough to look at Joel through the mirror, you whine, “Please give it to me, daddy”. Not needing to be told twice, Joel whispers out a small ‘fuck’, pulling nearly all the way out, then slamming his cock back into you at a brutal pace. The bathroom is filled with pornographic noises, skin slapping against one another while you continuously whine in pure ecstasy.

While fucking into you, Joel slides one hand around your waist, pulling you up against his chest, holding you tightly. You reach behind you, gripping Joel’s curls as he buries his face in your neck, muffling his groans of pleasure. With a particular sharp thrust of his hips, you moan out loudly, not caring if anyone caught you. Joel brings one of his hands to rest against your mouth, drowning out your whines and whimpers. His other hand finds itself on your chest, pulling the neckline down just enough to expose one of your breasts. With a grunt, Joel grasps your tit in his large hand, pinching your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. You roll your eyes back, pussy clenching against his cock as he continues to pound into you from behind. Your whimpers progressively get louder behind his hand, your begging muffled, clenching your eyes shut at the stimulation. “What was that, baby? Do you need to come? Come on, ask daddy nicely. Be a good girl, darlin’”, he grunts into your ear, his thrusts getting faster and sloppier.

You toss your head back, grip on his locks tightening, “I need to come, ple-fuck, please, can I come, daddy? Let me come on your cock, please, I’ll be your good gi-ugh, I’ll be your good girl! Just please, please let me-oh fuck!”. Without warning, Joel brings the hand that was on your breast to your clit, rubbing fast, tight circles.

Groaning into your neck, Joel’s pace quickens, his cock twitching as your cunt clenches around him. Finally, you snap, your climax taking over all of your senses, your walls constricting around Joel’s cock. Biting down softly on your shoulder, Joel growls into your skin, hips snapping into yours, cock twitching inside you as his load coats your walls. As he works you both through your high, your legs begin to shake, moans turning into soft whimpers. Thrusts coming to a complete stop, Joel holds you tightly against his chest, kissing up and down your neck as you attempt to catch your breath. You both stay like that for a minute, his cock still inside of you, seed dripping down your thighs.

With one last kiss to the neck, Joel pulls out, causing you to whimper at the emptiness. He calms you, “I know, darlin’, I know”. You felt so full, so content. You hated feeling empty of him. You just know you’ll never be able to have enough of him. You lean against the sink, legs still shaky from your activities. Pushing your panties back into place, Joel smirks, knowing you’ll be walking around in your own backyard, his come still leaking out of you. Pulling you away from the counter, Joel turns you towards him and into his chest, placing a small kiss on your forehead. Unlocking and opening the door, he checks to make sure the coast is clear, ushering you out first, “Come on, pretty girl. We gotta cut the cake”, he says with a grin.

You’re so happy to be home again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay my lovelies it’s FINALLY posted, i’ve been so busy lately, but i’m glad it’s out here now :’)

i’m also ovulating rn so i got carried away OOPS <3

lmk if you’d like to be added to the taglist or if you have any requests!

taglist: @joelslegalwhre @reddedmiller @janaispunk @amyispxnk

[meazalykov]

the younger morgan

alex morgan x morgan!USWNT!reader

part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six

Growing up in the Morgan household, I was always known as my own individual person. Y/n Morgan. I am described by my peers as someone who’s kind, sensitive, and humble. However, to some of the public and people who barely know of me, I am known as  "Alex Morgan's little sister." 

It wasn't a title I despised while growing up. Being born 14 years after her, I was adopted by the Morgans at birth. My sister and parents have been my family for my entire life, even if we aren’t blood. They’ve surrounded me in a blanket of love while supporting my athletic, famous sister at the same time.

Alex won her first World Cup in 2015 when I was eleven. I remember sitting in the stadium, the air electric with cheers and chants, watching her lift that trophy high. Having my sister as my idol while growing up was a blessing that most girls would dream of.

The pride I felt was immense, but it was always mixed with a yearning.

I played as a striker while growing up, just like Alex. My feet scored goals in every match i’ve had minutes in. By the time I was old enough to transition into taking soccer seriously, it was clear I had inherited the Morgan soccer genes, even if I wasn’t blood-related. 

With the best coaches in the country guiding me, I quickly became one of the best U21 strikers in the world, just like Alex. Success in high school championships, the USYNT national team (before my senior team call up in November 2022), and in my first year of college landed me a spot on the San Diego Wave alongside my sister. I forfeited my college eligibility so I can jump into taking soccer seriously, which I did.

Yet, I hide the fact that the inevitable comparisons to Alex bothered me. Anytime I made a mistake, I had people on social media saying that “Alex at your age would’ve never made that mistake!” and more that were way harsher and mean. I felt a hollowness inside me because I had to accept that San Diego wasn’t the club for me. Something I didn’t realize until half-way into the season.

This wasn't about the love or support I received from my family or the fans. It was about forging my path, I wanted to be my own person away from Alex. I love her so much, but I wanted people to see me for who I really am. I needed a moment which would give me the reassurance that my career was truly mine.

One afternoon, after a particularly grueling training session, I collapsed onto my soft beige colored couch for a nap. I knew I had plans with Jaedyn, Naomi, and Maria later— but I knew I could fit in a good three hour nap before I had to get ready for the night. However the ring of my phone jolted me awake after an hour into my nap. My eyebrows knitted at the sight of my agent's name, Maggie, flashing on the screen.

Usually, Maggie never calls unless we are discussing deals or contract negotiations. However, I asked her two weeks ago if she could contact SD Wave about putting me on the transfer market. Maggie said that wasn’t needed since there was something else that would excite me– but she didn’t explain what. 

"Y/n, I have some exciting news!!!" Maggie began without giving me the chance to say hi, her voice brimming with enthusiasm as I clicked on the speaker option. I rubbed my tired eyes trying to pay attention to what she’s gonna say.

“What happened?” I ask, sitting up from my laid down position and sitting criss-crossed on my couch.

"You know how you asked about a possible transfer? Well I already had a few offers coming in for you before you asked—'' Maggie started as I heard a few clicks on her side of the call, I’m assuming she's clicking stuff on her computer while on the phone with me. 

“So– *click*--- *click* — okay! There are a lot of NWSL clubs that have put in an offer for you. Houston, Gotham, Orlando, Kansas, and Washington have sent in their offers— but I understand that you wanted to go to Europe, is that correct?” Maggie says as I bite the skin around my nail beds. Growing up, I’ve always admired European clubs and the different cultures  Europe has. Playing in Europe would expose me to a better challenge that I’ve wanted in my career. A good chance to (hopefully) play in the Champion’s League too, another thing my sister won in 2017.

“Yes, that is correct.” I say, trying to sound as normal as possible. I am nervous, knowing that this call could change my life. 

“Okay- well that's amazing because several European clubs are interested in you. You have many clubs to choose from— Chelsea, Manchester City, Arsenal, Tottenham, Real Madrid, Madrid CFF, PSG, Wolfsburg— those clubs in particular all offered you a contract. Barcelona showed interest too but you’re not a free agent and due to their financial struggles, they cannot sign you unless you were free. However—- Bayern Munich in Germany offered you a very great deal– a four year contract with add ons—the salary they’re offering along with the add-ons is way better than all of the others. I feel like you would love this club." Maggie commented. Outside of work, Maggie and I had a somewhat good relationship for people who try to remain professional. Maggie had a good intuition and can read people, which means that she knows how I work and how my personality is in detail. 

Hearing about the clubs– my heart pounded in my chest at Bayern Munich. The name alone sent a feeling inside of my body that I couldn’t explain. I placed my hands on my forehead as I felt overwhelmed from the amount of clubs I could choose from. However, my curiosity and intuition wanted to look more into the Bayern Munich offer. 

“Maggie— I can’t lie—Bayern Munich is sticking to me right now.” I say, dragging out my last words as my voice breaks into a yawn. Training was intense today. 

“Okay! Okay! Here’s what we can do— I can come over now and drop off the documents to you— you can look over them and we can have an in-person meeting on your day off from training next Thursday at lunch, deal?” Maggie said. I can sense her smile through the phone call as I felt relieved from having to make such a quick decision. It's Friday so I have six days to make a final decision. 

"Deal," I said, barely able to handle the fact that my nervousness turned into small excitement. I couldn’t tell anybody about this but that was okay with me.

Thursday came and I chose to move to Munich in June. I can spend the season, before the olympics, with San Diego then i’ll move to play for Bayern on the four-year contract afterwards. I couldn’t tell anybody the news until I got the green-light to do so from Maggie. 

Keeping this news from Alex and my friends was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Alex was not just my sister but also my mentor and my rock. But I knew I had to wait until everything was finalized before telling her. She should understand that part. Meanwhile, rumors swirled online, speculating about my potential move to Europe in the month afterwards.

One evening as I played with Charlie, in Alex's living room, I could feel the weight of my secret growing heavier. I look at my niece with a light smile as she colored in a fairytale themed coloring book I got her last christmas. I am going to miss seeing her every-week when I move to Germany.

Eventually, Alex finished what she had to do in her kitchen and picked up Charlie. The little girl complained before her mother explained that it was late and it was time for bed. Its 8:30 which wasn’t late in my eyes but Charlie is a child so— 

After Alex put Charlie to bed, and after I cleaned up after Charlies crayon mess, she joined me in the living room and sat beside me on the couch, her expression serious.

"Y/n— we have to talk.” Alex said. My nerves were on fire hearing Alex say that. I knew she was going to mention Bayern— I can’t hide it anymore. The rumors on social media are increasing and everyone knows my move to Munich is inevitable, even if I haven’t addressed it yet. 

“I know.” I respond, my right leg is crossed over my left one as I cross my arms together.

“Are the rumors online true? You know I don’t like to search the media for answers, but the rumors are increasing and everyone is positive that they’re correct on their suspicions— Are you leaving here to play for Bayern?" Alex asked, her eyes searching mine for answers.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. I couldn’t lie to her "Yes, Alex, they're true. I'm going to play Bayern Munich in June."

After saying this, I thought Alex would be happy for me right away. 

However, her concern was palpable. "But why, Y/n? Why are you moving so far away? We have everything here."

"That's why, Alex," I replied, struggling to keep my voice steady. "I need to do this for myself. I want a new challenge and seeking something new has been my goal for since the off-season. I need to know if I can make it—-- without always being compared to you." I struggled to say the last part.

The argument that followed was heated but subdued, mindful of Charlie sleeping nearby. Alex didn't understand my need to step away, to find my own path. 

“Everyone knows you’re a great player, you have a higher record than me this season!! You don’t need to leave the country.” Alex argued. 

“Well you played for Lyon and Spurs at one point, which is outside of America—- the NWSL isn’t the only league in the world and I need to grow. If your concern is about safety, I promise i’ll be able to take care of myself. I need this Alex— You know I am a responsible person!” I stood up from the couch. Alex followed and looked at me with concern.

“You are– I’m not saying you’re not responsible– but you’re going to leave everything behind!” 

“No I am not? I will always come back during International breaks!” I argue. 

“Okay– but you shouldn’t “need” to move to Germany. You’re going to leave your friends behind too Y/n!” Alex continued to argue. My blood boiled at her words. 

"You know, Why can’t you just be supportive!!?? I can’t do this anymore–” I say as I ran to put on my shoes by the door, grabbing my tote bag with all of my items inside. 

“I'm glad I'm moving away Alex. Maybe they'll respect me as a good player and my own person– and not just Alex Morgan's sister!" I stormed out of her apartment, the rift between us widening.

We didn't speak after that night. Even at training with the San Diego Wave, we maintained a professional distance, our conversations limited to the bare necessities or anything related to Charlie. The silence was deafening, but I was resolute. This was my decision to play for Bayern, she needs to respect it.

When the SheBelieves Cup came around, Alex and I both made the roster, as usual. This was my last international break as a San Diego player. Since i’ll be living in Germany by the time the Korea friendlies happen in June. 

On the national team, I found solace in my closest friends Jaedyn, Sophia, Trinity, and Mallory. Jaedyn plays at San Diego with me so she has a better understanding about the situation. I told her that I am moving to Munich and we had a bittersweet moment, at least she was supportive of my decision. All of the other girls sensed something was wrong but respected my need for space, assuming that they shouldn’t come in-between family business. Especially if one of their captains is involved. 

On the pitch against Japan for the first she-believes game, my performance was excellent on the pitch. In my mind, I knew I wanted to do good so Bayern fans would be excited about my transfer to their club. 

After scoring twice against Japan, we were now in a penalty shootout with Canada. This is the second-time we’ve gon into penalties this year together. Once in the gold-cup a few months back. 

Emily Fox made the penalty against the Canadian goalkeeper, and the next Canadian kicker’s shot was blocked by Alyssa (Secretary of Defense). Everyone looked in my direction as the ball was passed into my hands. If I make this shot, I win the shebelieves cup for the United States.

My hearts pounded like a drum in my cheat as I looked ahead at Kailen, my San Diego teammate and friend who plays for Canada. She knows how I kick, and I know how she blocks shots coming her way. 

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside of me. I had practiced penalty shots countless times throughout my time in soccer, but this was different. This was the final. This was for the win.

The referee blew the whistle, signaling it was time for me to shoot. My body stepped forward, and my mind was clear. As I closed in on the ball, I locked eyes with Kailen, who was poised and ready, her eyes fierce with determination.

My foot struck the ball cleanly, sending it soaring through the air. Time seemed to slow as the ball arced towards the goal, the world holding its breath. Kailen dove to her right, stretching out in a desperate bid to stop the shot.

But it was too late. The ball sailed past her outstretched fingers and hit the back of the net with a satisfying thud. The crowd erupted in a roar of triumph, the sound crashing over me like a wave. I scored the winning goal!

Before getting a chance to process what had happened, my teammates rushed towards me. All of their faces showed joy and relief. They enveloped me in a jubilant embrace, lifting me off her feet as we celebrated the victory together. I looked around, taking in the ecstatic faces of my friends, the adoring fans, and the sparkling lights of the stadium. I looked to my right and saw my sister’s bright smile looking towards me, this made my heart warm up a little bit. 

After everyone broke away from me, before the trophy celebration and the part where I’ll be rewarded as SheBelieves MVP, Alex approached me. Her expression was softer than the last time i’ve talked to her at her apartment. Her eyes reflected a mix of hope, sadness and understanding.

"Y/n, can we talk?"

I nodded, and we found a quiet spot away from the rest of the team on the pitch.

"I'm sorry," she began. "I was selfish. I was thinking about how much Charlie and I would miss you, not about what you need."

Her words broke the dam of emotions I'd been holding back. "I know. But Alex— I just want to be seen for who I am, Alex. Not just as your little sister."

She pulled me into a hug, and for the first time in weeks, I felt a sense of peace. "You will be, Y/n. You'll be amazing, and I am so proud of you and that gorgeous penalty kick." Alex squeezed me and I laughed at her gesture. 

“Thank you, Thank you! I have the best sister who showed me what good penalty kicks are.” I smile. 

As the middle of June approached, after the Korea friendlies, I prepared for my move to Germany with a mix of excitement and nerves. Alex and I grew closer again, our bond strengthened by the fact that this new routine will give us a chance to miss eachother. 

The day I boarded the plane to Munich, with three suitcases and one carry on bag with everything I need for my apartment I found while spending a week in Munich last month—  Alex was there, cheering me on. 

“I’ll miss you sweetheart.” Alex hugged me. I hugged her back before hugging my smaller niece who stood beside us. "I will miss you both the most." I respond.

Later as the plane took off, I looked out the window, my heart full of hope. This was my chance to prove myself to the world and to the fans that I am more than just my sister. 

-----

part two here

<3

[daisynik7]

hello it's me again not sure if it's alright to request one more (literally just ignore this if not) and its also not y2k but i'd like to request work song by hozier for nanami especially "no grave can hold my body down, i'd crawl home to her" angst with a happy ending during/post shibuya (no dying please) and reader is also a healer like shoko

thank you so much and congrats again 🫶🏼

Work Song

No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her

Pairing: Nanami x f!reader

Word Count: ~1.6k

cw: mentions of d*ath, bl*od, burn injuries, canon-divergent, set in the canon-universe during the Shibuya Incident Arc, MAJOR spoilers up to Shibuya Arc, angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, happy ending

Summary: You’re a healer working with Shoko inside the medical tent at Shibuya Station while Nanami, your boyfriend, is in the line of fire for the battle ahead. After an especially life-threatening attack, Nanami, on the brink, runs into an old friend, who helps guide him back home. 

Author’s Note: @75songs thank you so much for sending in another request for the y2k karaoke party, always appreciate your love and support! I ADORE this song and have honestly always thought it was perfect for Nanami. I am an anime only and am not caught up with season 2 yet, so I didn’t want to read too much into what exactly happens during this arc, so some of the details may be inaccurate, just a heads up. This one got me in my feelings. I will forever hold a grudge against Gege for what they did to Nanami. Anyways, likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated! Thanks so much for reading! Divider by @/saradika.

October 31st. Maybe in another timeline, another reality, you and Nanami would be celebrating Halloween tonight, passing colorful candies and decadent chocolates to kids going door-to-door across the neighborhood. You’d force him to dress up in a silly costume, one that matches yours, despite his reluctance at first. Deep down, you know he likes this; domestic bliss, especially with you. The idea that the two of you could live a peaceful life together, away from the dangerous world of curses and Jujutsu sorcery. You discuss it constantly, dream about it, strive for it. A few more years, he says, and he’ll retire. There’s still more work to be done, people to be saved. 

You’re inside the medical tent beside Shoko, helping her set up the cots, anticipating injured sorcerers to arrive soon with the battle underway. Masamichi Yaga, Jujutsu High’s principal, stands guard outside, determined to keep the medical team, especially Shoko, safe from any posing threats. There’s no way to know what’s happening until people start arriving, in need of medical attention. You’re a healer too, but not nearly as skilled as Shoko, your mentor. Still, she encourages you to join them tonight, needing all the help they can get. 

“Are you feeling okay?” she asks, setting up the last bed. Observant as ever, she notices your quiet demeanor.

You nod, giving her a weak, unconvincing smile. “Yeah.”

“Nanami is going to be fine,” she assures you, sensing the root of your anxiety. “When this is all done, the two of you should take a vacation together.”

Relaxing a bit, you reply, “We already have our trip to Malaysia planned in a few months.”

She smiles kindly. “There you go. Something to look forward to.”

Her words ease some of the tension, but there’s dread settling in the pit of your stomach, and it won’t go away until you see Nanami again in one piece. 

The waiting game finally ends as soon as the first wounded sorcerer shows up in the tent, initiating nonstop chaos. You assist Shoko diligently, making sure everything is prepared for her to perform her Reverse Cursed Technique for those who need it, and patching up those who don’t, with less severe injuries. You’re constantly on the lookout to see a familiar face, trying to get an update on what’s happening out there. None comes, until you see Kiyotaka Ijichi limping towards the entrance, blood spread across his shirt. You and Shoko rush towards him, carrying him over your shoulders, leading him to an empty cot, gently laying him down. 

Shoko, showing panic on her face for the first time all night, inspects him carefully. “Ijichi, can you hear me?” She’s always had a soft spot for him, often telling you how endearing she finds him, always a nervous wreck in front of her. Seeing him like this is surely jarring, even for her, who’s as tough as nails. 

He nods weakly, mumbling something incoherent, blood sputtering from his mouth. You remove the shattered glasses from his eyes, wiping his lips with gauze. Shoko starts to work on him, directing you to check on the other patients. Before you can follow orders, you feel his weak grip on your wrist. You turn to face him, focused on his lips as he quietly utters, “Nanami.”

Your ears perk up at the mention of your boyfriend’s name, leaning in closer to hear the rest of what he has to say, taking his time through labored breaths. “He…saved…me…” 

You do your best to keep your composure, nodding at him silently, blinking away the tears welling in your eyes. Unsure how to respond, you leave them, going to the other side of the tent to check on the remaining sorcerers. 

With everyone else in stable condition, you take a minute outside the tent to sob into your hands, praying that Nanami is still alive. Unaware of your surroundings, you’re startled when Yaga approaches, his large figure sitting beside you. “You alright?”

You wipe away your sniffles on your sleeve. “Just…nervous.”

He crosses his arms over his chest, sighing. “Yeah, I get it. But Nanami is one of our strongest sorcerers. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

Again, more words of comfort, but not enough to ease the nervous flutter in your belly. Yaga recognizes this and adds, “Nanami would fight through the fires of hell instead of letting himself die. Not because he wants to live for himself. But because he wants to live for you.”

You face him now, processing his statement. He chuckles, lifting his sunglasses to meet your gaze. “That man has never been so smitten in his life. He’d crawl out his grave just to be with you, I guarantee it.”

~~~

The last thing Nanami remembers is desperately wishing he was in Malaysia with you instead of at Shibuya Station right now. He wakes up, sitting in one of the seats on the platform. It’s eerily quiet with no one in sight. The distinct sounds of trains on the rails or the hustle and bustle of people moving along is strangely absent, and it occurs to Nanami that this may be a dream. 

He's sure of it when he feels a nudge to his side, turning to face Yu Haibara sitting next to him. There’s a warm smile on his boyish face, dressed in his Jujutsu High uniform, exactly as he was many years ago when Nanami last saw him, alive and well. The same bright, earnest eyes he remembers vividly of his best friend. He swallows hard, an uneasy feeling surrounding him. Is he seeing a ghost? Or is this the afterlife?

Haibara laughs, and Nanami is snapped out of his reverie and taken immediately back to 2006, when he first met his friend during orientation. He can’t help but grin, happy to see him still so lively. “Well, aren’t you going to greet your old friend, Nanami?”

Nanami does, hugging him, astonished to feel him in his arms almost like a real person. Almost. “What are you doing here?”

“Just came to visit you, that’s all.”

Nanami lets him go, studying him carefully, looking for any signs of decay. When he spots none, he asks him, “Am I dead?”

Haibara shakes his head. “Not quite. But you’re pretty damn close.”

“I am?”

“Yeah. So you better hurry and get home quick.” Haibara points towards the railings, now illuminated at one end by a blinding flash of light. “Yuji’s waiting for you.”

“Itadori? How do you know – “

Haibara then says your name with a big smile. “Yeah, I know her too. They’re all waiting for you, Nanami. You don’t want to keep them waiting any longer, do you?”

It takes a while for Nanami to get up, and when he does, he’s off balance, legs wobbly, body unsteady. Haibara helps him, offering his shoulder, the two of them walking slowly towards the light. “I really like her, you know. Your girlfriend.”

“You do?” Nanami asks, hobbling beside him. 

“Yeah. She’s really nice, really pretty, and she eats a lot, especially with you,” he chuckles. “You know how much I like that.”

“Yeah I do.”

“And I’m a good judge of character, so I think she’s perfect for you. If that means anything,” he says, proudly.

“It does. It means a lot.” They’re near the edge of the platform now and Nanami will have to hop down to reach the end of the tunnel. 

“Are you going to marry her soon?” Haibara asks, pausing just before the edge. 

Nanami nods, grinning. “I’m planning to propose during our vacation in Malaysia.” 

“Good. Good.”

He’s tempted to stay longer, wanting a few more moments with his friend, but he knows that time is ticking. He hugs him again, squeezing him tight. “Take care, Haibara.”

“You too, Nanami. I’ll be looking out for you.”

His chest constricts, jumping off the platform, landing roughly on the railings, blinking away the tears in his eyes. It’s sweltering now, the light emitting an intense heat from within. He gives Haibara one last glance, cherishing the happy expression on his face as he waves goodbye to him before walking into the light.

Seconds later, Nanami wakes up with a gasp of breath, vision blurred, a droning pounding beating against his ear drums. It soon fades and only Yuji’s panicked voice yelling from behind him is heard. He’s being dragged by the armpits, away from the battle. Smoke radiates from his entire form, and he can barely move. In fact, he can barely feel anything at all. 

They reach the medical tent, Itadori yelling for help the whole way. Yaga is the first to reach them, his usual calm demeanor wavering at the sight of Nanami, body half-burned from the explosion. They carrying him delicately inside, resting him on the only empty cot left. He wants to close his eyes; he’s so exhausted, and sleep is the only thing to bring him peace right now. That, or you. 

As if his prayers were heard, you appear at his side, truly a vision, even while you sob for him, holding his mangled hand in yours, begging for him to stay with you. He can die happy now, seeing your face, knowing that you’re here, alive, heart beating, surviving. Can he do the same? Can he survive this? All he knows is that he’s trying with every fiber he has left in his being. He won’t leave you, not like this. Not without experiencing life on the outside with you. 

It’s in this moment that he vows to endure. Even if he has to crawl out of his grave to do it, he’s determined to be with you again. 

~~~ 

November 1st. Maybe in another timeline, another reality, Nanami is gone. Not in this one, though. Instead, you sit beside him, healed and in one piece thanks to Shoko, fingers laced with his, careful not to squeeze too tightly. Yuji and Ino are at his other side, talking animatedly about how amazing Nanami was the entire fight, and all he can do is lay there, smiling. Happy to be alive. Happy to be with you. 

[lover-of-mine]

Let's talk about this and patterns in the show, shaw we?

Okay, so Buck wearing green here is stressing me out now. I have a really long meta in Buck and green and red clothing (you can read it here), but I'll explain the green side of the point here if you don't want to read that. Basically, Buck wears a lot of red, enough for it to be a stable color for him, and red's complementary color is green. He's usually on the reds, pinks, and oranges.

The point of a complementary color, is to create contrast, and they used green on Buck in the coma world, so we would feel like something is wrong even if we can't quite figure out why.

They made a lot of choices about his wardrobe in the coma dream that just looked weird, up to getting him black vans instead of the usual white hightops, and that creates a contrast with the usual Buck that's unsettling.

Why is that relevant? Well, green is his something is wrong color. The coma world being the most blatant example because that sweater is green, BUT he wears green during breakups and when he's doing misguided stupid shit in the name of love. The breakup with Ali, the breakup with Taylor, and I will throw in the graveyard as a breakup with Eddie, because that's the feel of the scene and he's wearing green, but technically he's just being an idiot about love.

He's also wearing green when he takes Red to see Cindy, subsequently when he talks to Maddie about how it feels to always be left, when he's hiding at Eddie's place because he doesn't want to confront Taylor because that would lead to them breaking up and he's not there yet, and when he is trying to convince himself Abby is coming back (this last one really confused me but I did color picked a palette out of that shirt and that's green).

But if we established enough of a pattern to say he does misguided shit when it comes to love, like inserting himself in Red's love life, saying this random woman he met 5 minutes ago really sees him, trying to convince himself the women who fled the country is coming back to him, then Buck wearing green with Eddie is worrying.

Because if you look at the conversations they have in the firehouse, they are usually close to the point but still need something else to truly fix the situation, they hiding something or holding on to something they shouldn't, and it goes from the first fight at the gym with the way Buck is making his insecurities about Eddie and not really working through what's really bothering him, after the lawsuit, they do clear the air but Eddie is still hiding the whole fighting thing and the fighting thing actually makes Eddie flinch away from Buck, when they are talking after the dinner with Buck's parents, Eddie is trying to have a conversation but Buck wants to hold on to anger, when they are talking about the panic attacks, Eddie shuts Buck out because he doesn't want to admit Buck is right yet, and when they are talking about Chris having nightmares, Eddie is fully taking the blame for Chris missing Shannon, even if that's something completely out of his control and that eventually even leads to Eddie quitting and the thought process starts there.

So they always involve one of them wanting to have a conversation but the other not being fully ready to be honest about everything so they are talking but they are not on the same wavelength. They also always end with one of them walking out.

I have a really long meta about the framing in a lot of their big conversations (you can read it here if you want all the thoughts), but basically if they are on the same level, as they are both sitting down they are usually talking about Eddie.

Because when they are talking about Buck, Eddie is usually standing up and Buck is looking up at him. (I have a meta on the looking-up thing if you feel like reading more thoughts on that)

And if they are discussing their relationship, they are face to face.

Random add on, if they are talking about Chris, they are usually sitting side by side on the same surface in a sense, yes I'm counting the counter as one surface lol

So signs point to the new stills being Buck forcing Eddie to talk about something he's not ready to talk about. But when you add the green while Eddie is not wearing blue, so the green is not about the blue and green thing, (I have a meta on the blue and green thing in general and it applied to buddie too that one is truly unhinged tho), and the way talks at the station mean holding on to something they shouldn't and the still of Eddie talking to Bobby, this conversation can very easily be a moment of tension.

AND, I know I'm not the only one who saw those stills and immediately thought about the panic attacks conversation, BUT, stay with me because now I'm reaching, the graveyard conversation tries to call back to the dumb luck conversation (I also have a meta on the graveyard that touches on that if you want thoughts)

But basically, similar outfits and angles, locations we never saw before and probably will never see again. But, while the equine therapy talk works to give Eddie hope and bring them closer together, the cemetery has the exact opposite effect. It creates space between them.

If we consider this and the way it seems to be calling back to a conversation that led Eddie to do the right thing about Ana, they could very much be calling back to that just to do the opposite and having Eddie refuse to listen to Buck for whatever reason.

Because one thing about the dumb luck conversation is also the movement, they are walking, the camera is moving, the conversation is moving and they are making progress, something we don't feel in the cemetery because they are in the same place, the conversation is not leading them anywhere besides away from each other.

And the conversation about the panic attacks that happen while Buck corners Eddie while Eddie is trying to sleep, so Eddie will be in a more relaxed state than when Buck is walking in wearing civilian clothes and Eddie is so deep in his workout he's glistening with sweat, so Buck is walking in on Eddie with a completely different energy. And assuming conflict to the point Buck feels the need to corner him in the gym? That means fight.

This is a very long way to say divorced era 2.0 is upon us lol basically they are arguing and it's about Eddie refusing to listen to Buck about something. Maybe even love related.

If you reached this I love you 🫶

If you liked my brand of crazy, you can find all my metas here.

[rin-and-jade]

Home Sweet Home..! : A Post about Your Inner-world.

That's right, it is no other than your own comfortable place to rejuvenate and meet your beloved parts.. We all want to access the inner-world as sometimes, the outside world can be daunting, right?

Come and take a seat on this imaginary, velvet textured, freshly imported sofa, i'll tell you what's this about:

to each and every one of those who yearns to visit its own mental home, this post is for you! And also for those who are front-stuck, or wanted to see--and build its world as a better place. This is also a well-rounded discussion regarding today's topic for those seeking general information on worlds.

TLDR PASS: AVAILABLE

-- This post will be long, and be split into three different sections, 1. The Basics 2. How to create a World 3. Ways to access your World So, make sure you sit somewhere comfy before reading. --

1. The Basics

Okay, but why is it called "inner" world?

Well, in general it constitutes things around emotions, sensations, memories, or other intangible things. There is no defined meaning for the inside world, as everyone experience them differently:

"The Inner World is full of choices wherein we choose what we want to do and what not, our emotions, expectations, our perception of things, expression of our attitude, our inner thoughts and our self-concept." - LinkedIn

Though for systems, our usage for the inner-world is similar to daydreaming, or in another name, mental visualization.

This is as to how the mental mindscape is used to express different part's thoughts or feelings, and also develop a sense of appearance which is often disconnected from the biological appearance for better expression and sense of cohesion/alignment for each alters.

Hm.. does everyone have one?

If you're asking wether all system has this mindscape by default? No.

Apparently, there is a common belief where all systems have inner-worlds, but thats due to the expectations of what a system "normally" has or do. Everyone manifests their own disorders differently, there is no right or wrong way, or things that makes you more or less of a system through this topic.

How should i use my world, though?

There's more than one way to use or interpret how it is utilized. Inner-worlds isn't only about imagination,, in fact, it is a mental palace where all internal processes like processing feelings, generate thoughts, or where you also create an artificial interpretation of the outer world for a better perception.

Inner-worlds are also made of literal and symbolic elements. Both shapes how your inner-world looks like, or work like.

Some utilized the mind's world through a storyline or a simulation to navigate it's experiences, some focus on world building to portray how they perceive its own life or state, and others express mainly through feelings or inner monologue without spending time and effort to create a visualized mental world scape. Anyone can do a little bit of those, or all at the same time too, this is about how the world is utilized.

Here are some examples:

Use it as a meeting spot for better communication and identify other speakers easier

Use the imagination to explore how every alters feel with their identity, appearance, and preferences

Use it to depict your state of mind through the areas of your innerworld, that can represent values or beliefs or emotional experiences Your world can be as simple or complex as you want--go wild!

Do i need a world?

It depends on what you want to do. This isn't a yes or no answer, but i would always recommend people to spend more time creating its own mental world to create a stronger gateaway for system communication and self expression.

You can still live a good system life without having or accessing the inner-world often, you know?

But i can't see internally!

Aphantasia is a condition where you cannot imagine mental images--or keep them clear for long periods, lack of color or foggy lines can also indicate a lesser degree of the condition. For this remedy, step back and remember--your mental senses isn't bound to images only, what about vibes? Or tactile sensations? Utilize your other senses to good use, it's still possible. The mindscape is all about memorization and familiarity, you can still navigate the world, although blind, because of this.

2. How to create a World

Before we get into the steps, here is a reminder that mental sensations are reflected from real-life sensations you remember.

For example, think how you can recall that one moment with your favorite food: you can remember how warm it felt, what the texture is like, what layers of flavor it has.

The innerworld works the same too, by reliving or replicating that same detail, projecting it again within the mind's eye.

--

First phase - starting from scratch

For those who hadn't started, the area would look bland or devoid, interpretation can differ greatly for others. Take this moment to think momentarily, and select a theme or vibe you're going for, example: a house if you want to make it the world feel homey / comfortable.

Start from how big you want the floor to be, how tall the walls are, what about the color or pattern? Would you like a plank or a ceramic tile? How much of natural light do you prefer, that can answer how many windows you want to map out later.

Then the furnitures, invoke whatever you want--the perfect fluffy sofa you wish to sleep on, or that huge circular stairway you often see in the movies. Feel them, touch them as if you're currently on it,, things might look foggy at first, which is normal for developing a new item you wish to add.

Tip: laying a groundwork with the 3d interior maker or a sketch (either paper or digitally) can help you plan and visualize better when this first phase is challenging for you to finish mentally from scratch.

Second phase - getting more personal

Now that you've laid the foundation, practice recalling them and remember every crook and cranny of each rooms or paths you have mapped out even more. This will help the ease of visualization whenever you want to access your innerworld, needing minimal strain to immerse fully in your own mind.

Resuming from your previous progress, its time to add your own personal touches (for each alters)! What kind of items or belongings would you want to own? Do you like a specific decor theme? It's best to start with the things you had seen/touched due to the reason explained previously.

When you're confident and had memorized how the main place, try branching off by adding the external background. (E.g. city scenery/forest/mystical). You can even make them as floating islands, there is no bounds to this.

Tip: its best to write out what each alter likes and their preference to personalize their room/area better while also keeping track of any details of the mindscape.

Third phase - room for expansion

This is where you often stumble into uncharted areas in your world, often discovering them without proper visualization. These often get created from qualities / states that you have internalized on the outer world, they can even represent different parts of your own perception (for example, you stumble into a cemetery, where you associate dormant alters resting at) or wellbeing (for example, the weather changes depending on your mood or stress levels). Often times you'll meet interactive elements--or already did so in the earlier phases.

Expanding an area usually means it is built within a different border, separated from your main area and often has a 'transition tunnel' to access the new area. This can be expressed through magical doors, portals, teleportation, or walking. You can also redo phase one and two to expand more areas as you wish, and connect them through a transition tunnel.

As the conclusion, this phase is done through introspection, through deciphering your own well-being. This is because your innerworld is a subconscious reflection of how your mental and emotional state, and vice versa. This can also manifest in ways like designated areas or interactive elements from the world.

Tip: let your mind wander around freely. Your expectation and prediction kills abstract creativity, which your mind is designed for. This can sometimes happen when you least expected it, don't use this as a time to rush, go slow!

3. Ways to access your World

Behind the scenes

Every system processes, including your world, happens in rest mode-- this is because our brains operate through sets of programs/functions that transitions depending on demands.

There are many sets your brain operates in, but for the sake of simplicity i will educate you on the necessary ones:

DMN - activates when relaxing, exploring creativity, or performing low cognitive tasks. You don't process a lot on this state, and usually related with creative thinking moments.

Do you know why you get creative solutions when you're in the shower but not at the heat of the moment? The DMN does just that. Annoying, i know... i wish it came earlier and not when the argument is over.

VAN - activates when exposed to threats, or sudden change of stimuli. This mode is mainly tasked in selective attention, focusing on what is deemed important depending on your values. Operates in fright factors

Suddenly jerked your head to the falling sound of a plastic cup from the other room whilst focusing on your activity? VAN is the culprit, sudden yells or getting your name called also counts.

CEN - activates your directed focus and controls how long you commit to a task. It is responsible for cognitive demanding tasks that requires problem solving or decision making. You are in a state of action or processing, which is the opposite of rest.

Like how time passed without your awareness, or when you ponder less while committing all your attention to that one difficult combo you have to pull of in the game because you can't risk any distractions or disturbances until you absolutely made it to the next level after the 11th try? Now that's a CEN for you.

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Now that you're all on the same page, time to get into the details:

The only way to access your world is to look inwards -> inwards mean you engage with thoughts and images -> thoughts and images usually pop when you're calm and not distracted -> a calm state is achieved in a safe place or non-busy environments.

So if you ever thought of being busy, or feeling stressed makes talking to your alters more difficult, you're not making that up! That's exactly what your brain modes are doing even if you are never aware of it.

Tips to facilitate better communication & access

Find videos or songs that promotes calmness

Retreating to a less bustling room, silence is your friend

Balance your emotional state to feel more stable

Tune out any distractions if any

Focus to any subtle signs or alter thoughts you've missed

These tips help you connect to your DMN state easier, which will make it easier to retreat to your innerworld or talk to your other parts.

Now it's time to bring you to your world;

(Important. Only do this when you're calm, because the only moment you can do so, is within the DMN. It is not effective nor recommended to attempt this within high stress or busy moments, and for reasons on how frustration and added stress on not being able to retreat mentally blocks your ability even further.)

Start closing your eyes, and recall a specific place you want to be in your world, determine your position, are you sitting or standing somewhere? What are you doing inside there if you can notice? Pour all your attention as your mind creates a mental picture, which brings you to your world.

Designating a real piece of furniture or item you own in the real world and associate it as an item in your mental world would also create an easier short cut to transition between two dimensions, it can be your bed, or a chair, or even a hanged painting.

Im stuck outside for a long time, help!

This phenomenon is when you are stuck within the threat-detecting mode, as your brain thinks the danger has not passed away--and should not waste time or be vulnerable to return to DMN.

When you have been struggling to access or communicate to your alters, think back on what is keeping you anxious, paranoid, or scared, as all these negative emotions keeps you away from a calm state.

Chronic exhaustion or stress also plays a role into this. In conclusion, when you have been stuck for long periods and unable to notice system activities--or happening less often, it's time to dig deeper to the root of cause.

This post right here will help you educate and prepare solutions for your stuck troubles. Here, is another post for all about system communication.

But if you need help from an experienced person, or if the posts are just not cutting it,, you can always DM me to overcome your struggles regarding this situation, im here for you!

Takeaway - What a Tour!

(this post is subjected to tweaks and add-ons in the future)

Here's two questions to end the post: what phase are you at on your world-building progress? When is the usual time your system activity peaks at? Feel free to share your experience or questions in this post, i would love to hear what you have to say and answer any concerns you might have!

I hope this post has been worth reading, this totally took longer than it should be, thanks to @starburstsystem for helping me perfect this post for everyone within this community, give some love to the bro <3

- chrono

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TLDR SECTION

Inner Worlds: Imaginary mental spaces used by some people, especially those with dissociative disorders, to rejuvenate and meet their alters. They vary greatly in form and function, similar to daydreaming or mental visualization.

Usage: Inner worlds can be used for communication, expressing emotions, and creating a sense of cohesion among alters. They aren't necessary for all systems but can be beneficial for those who have them.

Creating an Inner World:

Starting from Scratch: Visualize basic structures and themes, like a house with specific details (floors, walls, furniture).

Getting More Personal: Add personal touches for each alter, including their preferences and items they would like to have.

Room for Expansion: Explore and expand new areas that represent different aspects of your mental and emotional state.

Accessing the Inner World:

Use techniques like relaxing environments, calming music, and focusing on subtle signs to access the inner world.

Understand brain modes (DMN, VAN, CEN) to know why relaxation is key to accessing inner thoughts.

High stress and exhaustion can block access; addressing these issues can help regain access.

Takeaway: The inner world is a useful tool for some people to communicate and process emotions. It's personalized and can evolve with introspection and creativity.

[gffa]

If you want a Star Wars discussion, do you have thoughts on Anakin changing Ahsoka's lightsaber colors in TCW s7 and what we were intended to understand from that? Because it seems like such a violation, but that's clearly not the intended message behind that scene and it seems so weird to change the color for a few episodes only for her to throw them away anyway and get new ones the next time we see her.

I actually do have thoughts about this! And I think we actually are meant to find it a little "ehhhhh" because Filoni says that was the intention: "Him tinkering with her lightsabers while she is gone shows that he was always thinking of her. And the lightsabers are then a representation of her in the story, and his thoughtfulness regarding her.  His changing the color can also be seen as him exerting control, or being too protective, which is very Anakin.  He means well, but often takes things too far when trying to express how he feels.  Changing the sabers, modifying them, improving them shows his care, but also his ego--something that Ahsoka is familiar with. So the simple adjustment of the lightsaber color serves as many aspects of the relationship between the two characters.” And this is an instance where I actually really agree with Felony, I think it's both things at once, that it's both a sweet gesture and Anakin's desire to control her, to forcibly hold her close to him, because that's what Anakin desperately wants of his loved ones, that's his whole big issue in the Star Wars story, that he can't let go of anyone or anything, not when it really comes down to it. That's why, as Lucas says over and over, he becomes Darth Vader, because he can't let go of people, even when it's time. Changing her lightsabers to match his color, it's a way for him to express how much he still cares about her, how much he's thought about her, how much he wants to do for her, it's a way of expressing a connection between them, because a lightsaber is so central to their lives, it's the housing for their kyber crystal, their semi-sentient rock that bonds with their soul. This is Anakin's way of expressing that she matters to his very soul. But it's also Anakin thinking he can just go in and change that connection someone else has in their soul, he can just change something that was a defining part of her--kyber crystals matter to a Jedi, they're each unique, that's the crystal they faced a trial to get, one that was about their own heart and their own issues they needed to overcome. It's Anakin trying so desperately to hold onto her, his ego thinking that his way is the best way and that he can't let others exist as they are when they're distant from him, that leads him to change something that's not his business to change. It's a sweet gesture. It's a warning sign. It's something in between. It's a representation of the complicated relationship that has both good and bad in it. That's why I'm okay with them retconning it, because it's such a good metaphor for both the joy and the hurt in Anakin and Ahsoka's dynamic.