#like okay whatever. gayass

[kelean]

bitches be like "can't stand her ass" and then 10 minutes later place their tents together in the remote corner of the cave away from everyone else's eyes where there are only two of them

[druidshollow]

sorry about the gayass noises of whimsical joy my bf and i are making but oh my god

edit: okay like all the gayass noises were me. Whatever

[adventureforwardhcs]

please tell me nobody made this stratos hc ye

Okay so imagine if stratosfear is just as touched starved as the voixer hcs i keep seeing becuz of how long he's been trapped.

Like honestly... I think he would treasure every hug or whatever from anshine (gayass- WOAH WHO SAID THAT!!)

but like.. same goes for every other point (that isnt cyalm) but mostly anshine becuz theyre like besties or something

extra hc (also apart of my au fuck you) ;

ss2 constantly thinks about what they could've done to save Voixer. They CONSTANTLY think about it. And sometimes its so unbearable that they do the timeloop just to hear and see Voixer, one last time. (one last time my ass they do it everyday 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 IM KILLING MYSE😭)

i have like 3 guesses of who this could be but the only one im voicing is cinder

[izzyspussy]

In regards to the modern rock band au, I was gonna keep these in the tags but then I decided no, I need to scream about it

I was totally thinking they would be technically "open" about being in a relationship but like in that way where straighties can be delusional about it. Which like lbr is not really saying fuck all or anything about exactly how open or not EdIzzy is because. straighties simply do not care for reality. But anyway, yeah, they're like "out" but they're not like a Power Couple or whatever, and Izzy is really overshadowed and not very popular so like. There are like tiers of fans.

There are casuals who are straight. Bottom tier. And they're just like haha cool I love big tough guys who are so cool and straight and badass. Like Fight Club and [insert band name here]/Rob Halford! Anyway, who's Izzy? (And who's Fang and Ivan too probably.)

Then there are casuals who are not straight. And they're like haha cool I love big tough guys and leather daddies who scream!! Who's Izzy?

Then there are Real Fans who are also kind of shitty who are aware that Ed and Izzy are gayass queer faggos and also that they are Together, but a lot of them are like Why Is The King Consorting With That Loser the way ppl get kind of mad when like, say, Pete Davidson dates a Kardashian or whatever and it's just 'cause they think he's unattractive and it's not fair that he gets to fuck 10s (in their opinion) or whatever. But like no real vitriol.

Then there are Real Fans who are like weirdos, who are aware that they're gayass queer faggos and that they're together, but in this case they're like Why Is The King Consorting With That Lowly Worm and they hate Izzy's guts for the crime of they don't know any better because they don't know how the music is made and they can't recognize the fact that stage personas are not how people live their real lives 24/7.

Then there are Real Fans who are specifically Izzy fans, who are aware etc etc, and who instantly cum in their pants any time they see Izzy play an instrument with his BARE HANDS or when he and Ed do some mildly homoerotic shit on stage.

But yeah, sort of like how idr who said it but how he said pirates fuck whatever who cares so when Izzy thought they were just fucking whatever, but when he realized they were In Love he started losing it because that's not allowed, this would be somewhat like that with a healthy dosage of Izzy's just not fucking built for the modern day limelight. So they're semi-comfortable showing like Implications and being Erotic with each other on stage, but as far as showing like actual genuine PDA and that kind of thing not so much. And it's a combo of Izzy just being a... not exactly a private person, but like, he's a bit standoffish about true Intimacy and he wants Ed for himself and such like that + a little bit of closetedness in that like with piracy sex is okay in show biz but (specifically homo) romance is more shameful.

BUT. When they first came on the scene I'm sure there was a lot of like are they/aren't they, and they never exactly Came Out came out, but it just became more and more open of an open secret. So like yeah they never exactly talked about their relationship in interviews and shit, they never showed any like ~undeniable~ romantic PDA when they went on dates out, etc, but for anyone who cares about that type of thing it's not like you can't find confirmation that they're Together if you look for it. It is, indeed, on the wikipedia page. They have their individual pages where they're listed as "partners" and the band's page that probably says something or other about Ed starting the band "with his partner" Izzy (and then eventually there's the page for their divorce court case, where it is more directly and undeniably mentioned that they were a couple for like 20 years and that Ed cheated on him with Stede, because that gets mentioned on the record).

And then from there, there's like fandom sleuths popping up who try to match songs with events in their relationship, and both the Anti-Izzy fans and the Pro-Izzy fans get in on this and basically make up a lot of weirdly specific conjecture and get a little nuts with it, and Ed and Izzy never confirm or deny any of it, except sometimes when Ed falls off the wagon and sees something that really pisses him off because it goes just a little Too Far and he goes on a social media diatribe about how stupid it is and how whoever wrote it is the literal scum of the earth and doesn't deserve to lick the bottom of Izzy's boots or whatever, and when that happens people are like ???? aren't they broken up. Wasn't it the literal Opposite of amicable. what is this. and people are always waiting for Stede to weigh in and be mad about Ed defending Izzy or whatever, but Stede only ever gets upset with Ed when Ed confesses to something that isn't anybody's fucking business and he keeps that to their private life anyway, and there's people saying shit like "once a cheater always a cheater" and shit, you know how people are.

But anyway. Yeah, Jim and Izzy fuck nasty. In one of those tiny graffiti-covered metal bar bathrooms. Izzy bitches about being to old to do that on the way in and on the way out, but has absolutely no complaints during the fact. And not JUST because Jim keeps his mouth otherwise occupied.

[andtheyreonfire]

catch

Ao3

Word Count: 2,328

AN: c’mon let’s do the sibling dance

~

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Ren asks, staring up at her.

Futaba grins, wobbling as she struggles to keep her balance on the small drone. It wasn’t meant for people her size, but there’s enough room for her to situate herself without falling off. The propellers won’t slash her body. She fiddles with the controller slanted across her lap, one of its joysticks almost as big as her hand. “Of course, noob. I memorized the instruction manual and everything. I'm fine.”

Not like it took her more than one glance, but she’ll let Ren forget about her freakishly large brain for a second. Ren tilts his head—and oh, man is it weird how he looks almost small from this angle. Ren’s finger has nothing on her up here, even if she’s only hovering a foot above him. “Is the drone even built for this?”

“Probably not.” Definitely not. Futaba flies closer to him anyways, shoving her foot in a crevice to keep her balance. “But if it can fit a camera, it can fit a Futaba. I'm not that heavy, dummy.”

“I never said you were—“ Ren steps forward. Usually, there’s some vibration from his footfalls, some reminder of how small she is, just from his steps. She’s too far above for anything to rumble through her. Is this what everyone else feels? Weird. “Just that I don’t want you to split your head open in my attic.”

Futaba grins, glasses glinting in the afternoon light. She maneuvers the drone to hover at Ren’s eye-level. Miku’s Grace, this is so cool. Staring him face-to-face in the real world makes her feel a little less like a key item.

Which isn’t to say she’s not the most specialist, damn important key item in the world, but it’s nice to not have to crane her neck back to talk to Sojiro’s charge.

She leans an elbow against one of the drone’s crevices, giving a smirk. She ignores how dark, massive eyes crinkle in concern. “Aw, do you care about wittle ‘ol me? I'll have you know, bucko, that I'm an alpha gamer male. I got this, okay? It’s just like being in the metaverse!”

Granted, she’s been in the metaverse for—what? A week? Whatever. Ren’s hands twitch at his side, and Futaba ignores that, too. “You’re not dangling over open air in the metaverse. Gravity's different, too. You might lose your balance.”

Futaba snipes back, “What do you know about balance? You wear heels, gayass—“

Or, at least, she tries to snipe back, but the moment she opens her mouth is the moment she loses her grip on the controller’s joystick. The drone jerks, throwing her out of her perch. She flails. The controller slides off her lap, and—

She’s in open air, solid ground gone but the one below her rapidly approaching. Futaba screams. Her joints lock up. Her stomach lurches. She squeezes her eyes shut and—

A warm, solid surface catches her. Futaba lands with an oof. She shudders, attempts to pull herself up, and collapses when her arms are too shaky to support her weight. Futaba opens her eyes.

She’s cradled in Ren’s palms, the older teen hunched over her like he can shield her from fall damage—hell, he already did. His eyes are blown wide behind his glasses, curly hair framing his shock. His shadow envelops her completely.

A single, massive finger brushes against Futaba’s side, softer than the brush of a wing. The drone lies on the floor, forgotten and probably more damaged than herself. Ren asks, “Are you okay?”

His hands tremble, just the slightest bit. Futaba doesn’t comment on it. He probably doesn’t even notice it over her shaking—Oh, that’s why her arms feel so wobbly. She forces out a, “Y—yeah, fine.”

Ren’s frowns. He glances at the drone corpse behind her, before turning back to the form in his hands. Even with his glasses, his eyes gleam with something intense. “Is anything bruised?”

Futaba shakes her head, arms tucked against herself. She’s fine, really, just...She feels more stable the longer she sits on something solid, even if that’s Ren’s hands.

But she’ll—she’ll get over it, just like she got over her mother, just like the got over the prospect of her guardian being twenty times her size, just like she got used to Ren. She can’t recall the last time she fell, but the constant fear is something she’s familiar with. She’s fine, she just...

She huddles into Ren’s hands. His gaze softens. The finger against her side moves to ruffle her hair, ever so gently, and she finds herself relaxing under the touch. “Let’s wait before doing that again, okay?” When she doesn’t respond, his voice quiets into a murmur, the sound reverberating through Futaba’s core. “You’re alright, I got you.”

And it’s—

It’s probably too early for her to call him brother, but, by Talos, if her mouth wasn’t halfway through forming the words before her brain catches up. She swallows, and feels the last bit of tension drain out of her body.

She’s safe, as long as Ren’s around. He’s got her.  

No matter what, Ren won’t let her fall.

~

All things considered, Futaba’s handling fighting monsters in an alternate dimension pretty well.

She adapts to her Persona like it was made for her—and, well, considering the whole I am thou monologue, it literally was. On the surface, the Metaverse is no different from an RPG. Shadows have strengths, weaknesses, and power levels that she could almost call stats. But there’s something real in every fight. They don’t operate in turns. A second could be the difference between life or death. Futaba’s gotta worry about fighting techniques and styles, how to use the environment in their favor. She finds herself strung along in the terrifying, exhilarating improv of combat.

—Mostly terrifying, though. Almost as terrifying as being the support to a group of teenagers. She was a hit with adults when she was younger, sure, but her peers? The difficulty spike always seemed just slightly out her grasp. That’s not even counting her size.

But—she’s adjusting. She doesn’t flinch anymore when someone approaches her. And just yesterday, she said five whole sentences to Haru! She doesn’t even know Haru! And Haru smiled and didn’t look at her in disgust or—anything! She’s doing so well.  

She hasn’t moved from her spot next to Ren’s head unless it’s an emergency.

They’re—she’s working on it. It’s on her list: be okay without you around. It’s just—the idea of hanging around this group is something that terrifies her more than the shadows. Ren probably should terrify her, with how...different he is in a mask. Her Necronomicon is roughly the size of a frisbee, herself as diminutive as always. He’s not a stranger—just quieter, focused, more of a leader. He expects them to be strong, but doesn’t hesitate to call things off when the fire burns too hot.

By Talos, will Futaba meet his standards. She swears it. They all do.

Just—give her a minute to remember how to talk to people. Please.

Right now, they’re engaged in a fight against a massive, blue elephant. Joker, Skull, Panther and Noir are up the front lines. Joker oscillates between healing and bless skills. Everyone else buzzes around him.

Futaba flies far enough that a stray attack won’t clock her in her non-existent nuts. She watches, biting her lip. Skull flags. Panther spends previous seconds to heal him, almost getting her head smashed in by a physical attack if not for a last-minute Makarakarn. The barrier Joker casts falls with a shimmer. The enemy swings its trunk around to sweep Noir off her legs the second it does.

They have a plan, Futaba knows it. She calls out weaknesses and warns for attacks when she can, but they’re flagging. This is a tough one. Futaba winces as Skull flies straight through a stack of crates.

She jerks Necronomicon closer. A wave of green light washes over the party—and if Joker continues like this, he and the thieves won’t have any SP left by the end of the fight. But if they don’t give it their all, then—

Joker cries out as an attack singes his arm. He grits his teeth, but Futaba can see the way his vision unfocuses—

She doesn’t have time to question when she flew so close to the battlefield before the elephant notices her. Its eyes narrow into something predatory. Futaba’s breath stops.

She jerks her fingers into action, retreating up as much as she can, but—they need this. A glance up shows the elephant’s barely swayed by the thieves’ counter-attack. She should turn tail and flee but this hack has low range and—

The elephant raises its trunk, just in time for Futaba to cast a heat riser on the party, before a curse attack strikes Necronomicon dead-on.

Someone screams her name. Joker, maybe, but it’s impossible to tell over the blaring of system alarms. The screens and organs of Necronomicon flash blood-red warnings, direct hits, critical fails.

Everything goes dark, and Futaba’s thrown out into violent weightlessness.

She falls.

She can’t see the world outside, but she can feel she the ground coming up to meet her. Maybe the Necronomicon will cushion her fall, maybe it will only harm her further. Mangled bodies of construction safety videos flash across her eyes like lightning, because what Futaba sees she never forgets and it’d be impossible to forget how fragile she is and how easy it is to—

She screams, stomach swooping and hair twisting around her as her hands scramble for something, anything, and—

She stops.

Her ship jerks forward, like it’s plummeting, only for its movement to slow into slight swaying. Her systems remain off, and she can’t see outside her ship, but she didn’t hear an impact and she’s—pretty sure she’d resemble a rage-quitter's PC if she did.

Futaba runs her hands over her barely-bruised body, latches onto her seat as the ship groans. She’s alive. The only thing that means is—

“Kougaon!” Booms a low, familiar voice, surrounding her like a blanket.

Despite the near-L experience, Futaba's heart slows down from its rabbit-fast pace.

A couple commands are given, but they’re surprisingly brief compared to Joker’s usual strategy. Every sentence reverberates around her like the world’s largest pair of surround-sound headphones. After a few minutes, the hold around her ship finally moves. Futaba doesn’t release her iron grip on her seat.

The sounds of battle fade, the Necronomicon sways like it’s being carried, before— “Futaba?”

“Joker,” she calls back, unsure if her comms still work. Probably not, but Joker must’ve heard her anyways, because something scrabbles against the ship’s manhole. Eventually, it pops off, and light floods into the small crevice.

Futaba, as shaky as an NPC clipping into the floor in a Bethesda game, lowers herself into Joker’s palm.

The mask is off. Yeah—he’s looming over her, leaning in far closer than he tends to initiate. His shadow envelops her completely. Necronomicon looks like a galaxy meal toy in his grip. But—Joker’s mask is off. His mask is only off while casting spells. Why is it off?

His gaze sweeps over her, lingering on every bruise, every disheveled part of her outfit. When he speaks, his voice is low, hesitant, almost choked. “Futaba, are you alright?”

Oh. That’s why.

Futaba jerks her head in a nod, before swallowing her pride and shaking it like a wet dog. Joker’s gloved fingers curl around her, surprisingly soft. The last time she’d been held by him in the metaverse was her palace. They’ve probably always been this soft, she just didn’t notice.

She doesn’t realize she’s shaking until Joker’s voice washes over her. “The others are finishing the battle. I’m going to heal you now, okay?”

Another nod. Sparks of green rain over Futaba’s body, and her bruises. Joker hesitates—Ren never hesitates, in the metaverse—before a warm, gentle weight rubs against her head.

It’s new, this whole situation is. And it—it’s soothing, for Futaba to lean into the touch, to grasp onto Joker’s glove like a lifeline, to know—

“I've got you,” Joker murmurs. His fingers shift to cradle around her, touch impossibly gentle. She sucks in a breath. “You’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?”

She shudders, again, and melts into Ren’s hands. The sound of the fight rages behind them. Futaba looks away. She could meet his gaze, if she wanted to, it’s just—something spills out before she can. “I’m sorry. I should’ve kept my distance. I know I can’t defend myself. I—I’m sorry.”

“We all make mistakes.” Ren’s fingers curl in closer. “You’ve barely been out on the field. It’s alright.”

She shakes her head. “That’s no excuse. I—I should’ve...”

“You saved us, Futaba.” He jerks his head towards the fight. The thieves knock down the elephant, before unleashing a final, all-out attack. Futaba watches as it disintegrates with a distorted cry. “You gave us the strength we needed. You had our back, so let us watch yours too, okay?”

Slowly, he brings her up to his face. With the battle over, Ren’s complete attention turns to Futaba. “Yeah, it was risky, and yeah, you got hurt. But let us defend you, alright? You’re far from the first of us to make a risky decision. No matter what, you’ve got us, too. All of us. We won’t let you fall.”

Her brother keeps her promises. He’ll catch her, just like he said he would. She’s safe. A small smile slips onto Futaba’s face. She turns back to the rest of the thieves, hand curling around the tip of Joker’s finger. They jog over to meet her, something worried yet relieved on their faces, hands still clutched around their weapons.

Maybe...they’ll be there to catch her, too.

[tequiilasunriise]

Miss Muir really asked herself, “How many Jesus figures can I fit into one story?” and then gave us not one not two but at least THREE characters with Jesus allusions like-

Gideon Nav: this is pretty self explanatory, her dad is literally God and she died in order to protect Harrow in a ‘self-sacrifice fer your sins’ typa way; she was the best of us she was the light she was So Good so yeah mark that down as a Jesus point too; her demigod powers coming through with her body refusing to rot and animals refusing to touch it like thats Jesuscore baby; I mean Jesus got resurrected and Gideon got,,, her remaining soul preserved by Harrow and then stapled to her corpse by Jod i mean its THERE it kinda works; I love you Lesbian Jesus mwuah mwuah 10/10

Harrowhark Nonagesimus: the whole Jesus died fer three days and went to hell versus how it took Harrow wallowing in her personal hell of three days before committing to self-lobotomy and coming back renewed okay its like a weird, fucked up metaphorical resurrection; her wandering through that souped up space station with that large sword strapped to her back creating a t-shape not unlike a heavy crucifix; also, like, going into LITERAL hell at one point as another self-sacrifice gayass ‘died for your sins’ type deal when giving up her body to Gideon; her literal resurrection was being released from hell and coming back to life in a literal locked tomb that had to have a literal rock rolled away I mean CMON its pretty obvious what’s happening here; anyways Lesbian Jesus Number Two I loveee youuuuuu mwuah mwuah 10/10

Alecto: AS THE EARTH SHE LITERALLY DIED FER THE SINS OF JOHN’S VENGEANCE?? AND THEN AS ALECTO HATERS DEMANDED SHE BE KILLED (the lyctors vs all of the Jesus haters like the hypocrites and Romans or whatever i cant remember exactly) SO SHE WAS ‘KILLED’ AND THEN LOCKED AWAY IN A CAVERN TOMB WITH A HUGEASS ROCK IN FROMT OF IT AND EVERYTHING NEED I SAY MORE??? She’s like the OG Jesus figure like she was Jesusing it up a good 10,000 years before Gideon Nav was born a literal Jesus demigod, her resurrection stems from an intensely sapphic game of hot potato bodyswapping but my point still stands; OG Lesbian Jesus i loooveeee youuu mwuah mwuah another 10/10

[betchasnatcher]

Okay I'm honestly pretty crazy for prince to snatcher tf because its like.. it's a completely new body, and not one he knows anything about the inner workings of at all. I think his 'skin' is a bit loose and whatever tissue helps it keep its shape, whatever applies the pressure for that, is watery and loose, so he's kind of unevenly, lightly bloated. Meaning he can easily pinch huge amounts of his stomach without it necessarily stretching much. And i do wonder how his weight is distributed among it, and how that would affect walking, i think hes a lot lighter and less dense than a human body is, but definitely more tangible than betasnatcher. Hed have to really focus on his joints being firm enough to support it though... And no skeleton at all either likee to be quite honest. Well I was gonna call snatcher a slime girl but he's more like an amoeba.. And its not like not having a bone skeleton necessiates formlessness... Irl worms don't even have a chitin one, and they move by applying blood pressure to parts of their bodies im pretty sure. Maybe he does that w the cyan blue potion liquid. Not really having tubes inside him about it but... yanno

And he's def more sensitive than betasnatcher too, but number than a human, or just processing tactility differently. Idk i just cant at all separate the way i see color n hear sound resonate n like. The everything that comes from having blood and other warm thick junk inside your torso you can only halfway feel. Its not separateable from my humanity. How is snatcherbody different. Idk if he feels cold or hollow that's sad to think about... But i dont feel very firm either so maybe he doesn't feel very different but still freaks out or is fascinated because he completely forgets what being human is like. Before you ask yes smugdance long posting is back because a mental health professional said maybe it's pretty reasonable to focus on being online in my Gayass life situation, like not to exclusion of things I know i gotta do for me but like. Just in general it's fine for me to enjoy and self express online. I felt horrible horrible about it and now I don't. so I'm back yes

[filmfirecr4cker]

twin peaks notes!!!

okay so these are all my notes and thoughts on the pilot and the first episode :3 enjoy.

pilot:

“it (the story) encompasses the all. it is beyond the fire, though few would know that meaning” 

“laura is the one” 

god josie is actually so beautiful 

sarah's paranoid has everyone caught off guard. i wonder if she knows something we dont

i love the choice they made having pete’s pov of finding laura be shot handheld. it makes it so much more off-putting and found-footagey

I LOVE LUCY SHES SO CUTE

sheriff harry truman you are so beautiful to me <3 

poor andy :(

the shot of the palmer’s stairwell is so off-putting i love it 

AUDREYYYYY god shes so cunty 

the way leland holds onto harry’s jacket was such a good character choice 

goddd shelly is so gorgeous 

all the ladies are so beautiful lets be real 

shelly and bobby are linking 

bobby and laura were dating 

laura was 17 when she died 

i like the detail of aurdey changing from her oxfords to red heels when she gets to school 

james’s goofy ass haircut.. like girl whatever

the last time mrs. palmer saw laura was 9pm 

she had just come from bobby’s 

laura’s phone rang sometime that night 

the wide shot of the pulaski girl walking across the bridge is so fucking good 

james said “laura was the one” which is probably referencing the fact that she was the one for him but its also an echo of the log lady said in the intro as well sooo

AHHHHHHHHHH SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER FBI MY POOKIE BUTTTTTTTT 

oh my god i love him so so much actually 

i like how harry and coop meet at the end of the hallway and walk towards the camera and then the camera starts moving with them 

coop is actually so funny i love him. him and his trees 

you can tell harry fell for him right when he asked about the firs BWHAHAHA

while they were in the elevator, there was a man with one arm 

ronette repeated “dont go there” 

laura was dr jacoby’s patient 

laura’s parents didn’t know she was seeing him.. i wonder why?

i dont know if this was intentional or not but while dr. jacoby was talking to coop and harry, he was touching the hula girl on his tie under her skirt. idk i just noticed it and it weirded me out. fucking freak 

laura had a letter "r" under her nail on her ring finger. it seems like the killer is leaving a clue maybe??

apparently this is something coop has seen before 

snake and donna are dating 

laura’s last diary entry was “asparagus for dinner again. i hate asparagus. does this mean ill never grow up? nervous about meeting j tonight.” 

i love how lynch creates the atmosphere of twin peaks. it feels wet and cold 

“tell harry i didn’t cry.” oh andyyyyyy he’s so sweet. poor thing 

the video tape of donna and laura is so cute 

coop is so good at his job. thats my man

“you didn’t love her anyway” YEAH GET HIS ASS GET HIM 

audrey loves to cause problems on purpose and i support her 

snake and that gayass pose he does up against the wall 

laura was cheating on bobby with james 

donna definitely had feelings for laura and she fell into the trap of being in love with her best friend then hooking up with the boy she was with to feel close to her “i wanna kiss his lips bc they taste like you” kind of vibe yk?

love all the shots of the woods 

did ronette escape or was she let go?

the found laura’s half heart necklace and a note that says “fire walk with me” written in blood

james has the other half  

in the deposit box they found a flesh world magazine with ronette’s picture circled inside it and about $10,000 cash 

and there’s a pic of leo’s truck in the mag as well 

leo is shelly’s abusive ugly fucking husband. i hope he dies 

shelly is cheating on him with bobby 

the actor that plays leo is so bad LMAOOO 

the snowshoe rabbit :((((

coop is so fascinated by the flora and fauna of twin peaks and i love how he tells harry all about it (asking him questions and stuff). its so sweet

andrew packard was josie’s late husband who died in a boating accident a little over a year prior and he was katherine's brother. josie ended up inheriting everything that katherine would have so i guess that explains why she has a stick up her ass...

log lady is here!!! love her 

harry and coop are literally “me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic” LMAOOOO

i love harry sm. he's always looking out for everyone; hes such a good sheriff <3

teresa banks was the case that coop had mentioned earlier that made him think that laura’s death was connected somehow 

donna’s sister harriet is so cute. her being a poet and everything 

bobby is so annoying smhhhh 

“oh we’ll find her. dont you worry about that.” now why would you say it like that TO HER DAD YOU FREAK oh my god boys are so fucking stupid and creepy 

i wonder why snake and bobby are called “mutt” and “jeff” by joey and scotty????

ed and norma are having an affair and it seems like they’ve had feelings for each other for a while 

norma’s husband is in jail for manslaughter (yikes bitch)

oh coop is whittling i love him :(( 

HIS LITTLE THUMBS UP GOD

he’s by best friend guys like actually 

“you think they spotted us?” “gimme a donut.” LMAOOOOO LIKE???

laura was wrapped up in some fucked up stuff apparently 

“i knew her more that she thought i did.” ughhhhhhhhh kms

bobby killed somebody!! 

OOOOO THEY KISSED DONNA AND JAMES KISSED!! god it kinda was gross like they were literally eating each other’s faces BWHAHHA 

they buried their half of the necklace 

bobby is such a punk bitch 

OH MY GOD WHY DOES HE HAVE THOSE FUCKING CRAZY EYES DAMN

james looks like a cornered dog 

awww doc hayward and donna’s relationship is so sweet smhhh

lucy is such an angel with her little donut buffet 

EWWWWWWW WHY ARE THEY (snake and bobby) BARKING FUCKING TWEAKERS GODDAMN?!??!??!

josie and harry are so so cuteeeeeeee i love them 

harry literally pulled the baddest bitches in the entire show 

katherine is plotting evilly in her armchair WITH MR HORNE

god i love how foreboding the shot of the palmers stairwell is 

someone found the necklace donna and james buried and it looks like mrs. palmer had a vision about that or something??

lots of cheaters in this town LMAOOO

"it's beyond the fire" and "fire walk with me" what is the fire???

episode 1:

“behind all things are reasons. reasons can even explain the absurd.”  

HIS ASS IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO

his fucking sock garters COME ON

“diane, it struck me again earlier this morning. there are two things that continue to trouble me and im speaking now not only as an agent of the bureau but also as a human being. what really went on between marilyn monroe and the kennedys? and who really pulled the trigger on jfk?” LIKE BITCH!!! I HATE HIM (affectionately)

coop is so real for being transfixed with audrey bc me too

laura tutored audrey’s brother johnny 

johnny is said to have “emotional problems” bc he’s 27 and in the third grade. im assuming its some mental disability 

audrey said that “emotional problems” run in the family 

audrey you are so strange girl. love you tho

i love how everybody in the station has donuts in their mouths LMAOOOO 

i also love how coop says "three for three" after he sees andy, lucy, and harry all eating donuts

laura’s cause of death was blood loss

leo has a big old blood stain on one of his shirts :0

EW YOU FREAK LET GO OF HER GOD 

his nasty ass ponytail fucking barf

laura was doing cocaine 

james has been the only one who seems to have been the most honest whilst being interrogated (yk excluding the part about the locket) 

laura, bobby, and snake have been in cahoots with leo. im guessing it has to do with drugs 

laura’s video played again and it stopped on a frame of her face and her voice whispered “help me” 

big ed is james’s uncle 

harry knows about ed and norma

someone drugged ed at the roadhouse 

coop has some of his FBI guys coming down to examine laura’s body 

ed gave a little gesture to hawk when he returned james back to him, which hawk mirrored back to him. they seem to be touching the side of their eyes/temples? and wiping down, like a tear maybe??? what’s up with that?

james’s mom is out of town 

HEHEHHEHE HARRY CALLING THEM SHERLOCK AND WATSON 

pete and josie have a sweet relationship too :((

pete kind of reminds me of my dad a little bit 

laura helped josie with her english 

she aid that the last time she saw laura, she was upset about something but they didn’t talk about it. laura then told josie “i think i now understand how you feel about your husbands death.” whatever that means

katherine is such a cunt i hate her so much

of course cooper would know what shenanigans means 

katherine is cheating on pete with benjamin horne. gross. 

she and mr. horne are trying to bankrupt the mill. he also suggests that they burn it down

EWWWWW OH MY GOD HES KISSING/SUCKING HER TOESSSSS NOOOOOOOOO

so donna went over to the palmer’s house, and sarah suddenly hallucinated and thought donna was laura. then she saw a creepy guy crouching and looking up at her from a bed? and promptly started freaking out

rosette worked at the horne’s department store as a salesgirl at the perfume counter and joked it was “the sweet job she ever had”

the one armed man is back!!!

“laura died two days ago. i lost you years ago.” mr. horne said this to audrey and it gives us some insight into their relationship (i hope they elaborate on this more in the future)

okay so it looks like bobby comes from a religious and military home

his father is def the dominant head of the family. he has a strong presence and his wife seems to be more meek compared to him. very “good christian wife” core. thats not a dig at her, she seems sweet enough, but when general briggs slaps bobby for putting a cigarette in his mouth at dinner, she does nothing about it 

laura helped norma with the “meals on wheels program” that laura helped organize. she really does seem like such a golden child

the log apparently saw something the night laura died  

god, the way shelly’s face dropped when leo asked about his shirt gave me chills

laura recorded tapes for dr. jacoby

“i just know im gonna get lost in those woods again tonight. i just know it.” (laura on one of her tapes)

she also mentioned a  “mystery man”. i wonder if its the creepy guy sarah hallucinated or something

ohhhhh so it was dr. jacoby who found the other half of the necklace 

[shittydrawnsollux]

SOLLUX 1TS OK4Y 1F YOU'R3 G4Y. -@badlydrawnterezi

TA: "gay" ii2 barely even a THIING for u2!!!!!!!

TA: and even iif 2tupiid 2exualiitiie2 were a2 relevant for troll2 ii wouldnt need two bee told iit2 "okay" iit2 not liikiing GUY2 that bother2 me iit2 WHY DOE2 EVERYONE THIINK IIM GAY FOR THO2E GUY2 2PECIIFIICALLY.

TA: "oh look at me im davesprite and im an insufferable prick who doesnt even know how to not explode on my own because i cant admit my gayass feelings for my best friend or whatever even though this has been going on for who knows how long". ohhhhh ye22222 ii hate hiim 2ooooo much <3< <3< completely worth my tiime and effort.

TA: 2arca2m. ii HOPE hii2 a22 explode2 next tiime ju2t 2o ii dont have two deal wiith hiim iin any way.

TA: "ohhhhhh im ewidan ampowa im a big fuckin wweenie wwah wwah wwah" why do people thiink ii want hiim??

TA: and KK oh GOG that2 the wor2t of them all. iif you want two 2ee u2 kii22 2o bad fiir2t off go 2tuff your own nook and then diie becau2e iit2 NOT HAPPENIING. go watch kk kii22 hii2 2tupiid 2triider boyfriiend and leave me out of iit.

TA: and ju2t-

TA: ju2t...

TA: ...

TA: ...2orry tz. ii... diidnt mean two... 2ay all that. mo2t of iit ii2nt even diirected at you.

TA: 2orry.

TA: "gay" is barely even a THING for us!!!!!!!

TA: and even if stupid sexualities were as relevant for trolls i wouldnt need to be told its "okay" its not liking GUYS that bothers me its WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM GAY FOR THOSE GUYS SPECIFICALLY.

TA: "oh look at me im davesprite and im an insufferable prick who doesnt even know how to not explode on my own because i cant admit my gayass feelings for my best friend or whatever even though this has been going on for who knows how long". ohhhhh yesssss i hate him sooooo much <3< <3< completely worth my time and effort.

TA: sarcasm. i HOPE his ass explodes next time just so i dont have to deal with him in any way.

TA: "ohhhhhh im ewidan ampowa im a big fuckin wweenie wwah wwah wwah" why do people think i want him??

TA: and KK oh GOG thats the worst of them all. if you want two see us kiss so bad first off go stuff your own nook and then die because its NOT HAPPENING. go watch kk kiss his stupid strider boyfriend and leave me out of it.

TA: and just-

TA: just...

TA: ...

TA: ...sorry tz. i... didnt mean to... say all that. most of it isnt even directed at you.

TA: sorry.

[uncaught-coolfish]

Your most problematic RWBY ships! Go.

ME??? ok……. im fairly “vanilla” sooooo

(HALF OF THESE PROBABLY ARENT EVEN PROBLEMATIC BUT. IDC)

Crim//sun. This might unironically be tied as my favorite ship next to Freezer//burn but apparently it’s problematic because Uh oh guys: THE GUY IS IN IT. But no, unironically this ship slaps. Adam and Sun have a lot of weird like parallel’s (if that’s the right word) with each other outside of the basic MONKEY KING BULL DEMON stuff, and the headcanons I’ve read for it? GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT LIKE???? SO MUCH OF IT IS THE WHOLESOME STUFF THAT HITS YOU RIGHT IN THE FUCJING FRRGSHAGGAGSHWHQIAHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

and speaking of adam while I loathe any ship with him involving a schnee for. obvious reasons… i actually like arctic warfare a little bit. he and winter can dye each other’s hair /j

two that idk if they are problematic but:

whatever one is between salem and summer because the fanart I’ve seen for it holy

and firewall. why? they’re so lady zero x accord coded to me and don’t ask why

if we wanna be funny then if this fandom really wants to convince me adam is gaston… then let fennec be lefou /j

for shits and giggles….. jaune and cardin. if only for the potential of “90’s stereotypical romance between the bully who stones for their sins with fake walmart flowers and the one who they bullied just along for the fucking ride”. also cardin’s fucking gayass walk told me everything

…can I say fallen p— *gets shot* can you tell I like enemies to lovers yet. c—can you. okay.

Rose//bird. but not canonical Rose//bird, MY rose//bird. i will save what that means for a later day, but how I want to write it (WILL PROVIDE CONTEXT EVENTUALLY) they’re very “hand in unlovable hand” coded <3 and most definitely problematic 🤭

i don’t know why I feel this way. i don’t know how I feel this way. i don’t know why I’ve come to this conclusion, what stars have aligned, but… if roman and hazel met in canon they would fuck so nasty /j /srs /j /srs /j /srs /j /srs /

[happi-tree]

🍫💝👻 for.. herman(??)

Hiiiiiii, Lemon Drop!!! Hope you're doing well 💛💛💛 Thanks for the ask!

Herman T. Unworthy my beloved <3 I'm exploding him for his crimes 🥰🥰🥰

🍫 A headcanon about food

This man DEFINITELY has some form of caffeine addiction. Personally, I peg him as a matcha sort of guy (he would be a fucking gayass tea snob. I know this in my heart), but when tech week rolls around, he becomes a whole different beast. We're talking as many blonde shots as the Starbucks employees will legally allow in his venti almond milk iced caramel latte. That kid is not sleeping for days <3

💝 A headcanon about their love language

Hmmm. Hermie's giving love language most definitely seems like it would be words of affirmation - dropping one liners is, like, his entire thing. HOWEVER, I think it's actually quality time! He's a very, very busy guy - between theater practices and chasing after his date to the school dance and also pulling off the longest, most dramatic con in podcast history, I can imagine that he doesn't have a lot of time to himself! So if he carves out a bit of space for someone - to just be around them and nothing else - well, that means he cares about them a whole lot.

His receiving love language, however, is words of affirmation to me, perhaps with a side of physical touch! I think a lot of his character so far points to him desperately wanting to seek praise, some sort of confirmation and reassurance that he's an okay guy. As Anthony (the DM) has alluded to, he's clearly compensating for something! He just wants to be noticed soooo bad, I think - not some extra cast to the wayside, but someone worthy (heh) of connection and perhaps even affection. I also think I can make a case for physical touch here, since I feel like it might be grounding to him, especially with all of the. Dissociation business ("this is who I am" okay, boy currently operating under at least 2 levels of fake names, keep telling yourself that). Also I just think it would be sweet <3

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

Easy peasy. Being ignored, truly a theater kid's worst nightmare </3 Ksbfhasfahgfhis ok jokes aside I think that this guy is more than a little bit afraid of himself because like. Imagine you grew up subtly morphing your features to fit whatever role you needed to play and then all of a sudden you find out that most people can't do that??? You have no idea what you're Supposed to look like??? Who ARE you. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know. You look in the mirror, and you wonder how much of your face is your own. What mannerisms are truly yours? What identity do you have left, when you're stripped down to your core? Did you even have one in the first place? You just don't know. And that's horrifying.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

I’m once again thinking about The Webs In The Rafters bc that is my weird ass insane fic that came to me in a fucked up dream.

Plus I love torturing Kyle so here’s an excerpt

“We’re all just takin’ a breather right quick.” Butters started. “Ken and I were gonna shuck corn in a little bit if you want somethin’ to do.”

Kyle smiled at that. Something about him seemed… off today, like something in the way he stayed leaning on the fence, but Eric couldn’t place it. “Dude, I’d love too.” The redhead’s grin didn’t reach his eyes. “Been too long since I’ve helped out with that side of things.”

If that wasn’t the fucking understatement of the year.

“Hey,” Kyle asked, “where’s Stan?”

Oh, of goddamn course. The OTHER buttplug. It wasn’t a secret. Well, technically it was, because no one talked about it, but anyone with eyeballs could see that Stan and Kyle had a gayass little private relationship going on behind Craig’s back. Good for them, or whatever, but if the Spider ever got proof…

“Upper pasture with Tenorman.” Clyde took a swig from his water bottle. “They’re working on that irrigation line.”

Kyle was still smiling and nodding, but he was white-knuckling the fence post. Why in the fuck was he white-knuckling the fence post?

Apparently Kenny noticed as well.

“Um, Kyle?” The tone of his voice made Cartman uneasy. “Are you okay? You’re looking a little peaked.”

Oh, something was definitely wrong. Yeah, the sickly little Jew was usually pale as a ghost, but his eyes were always bright in spite of it. Right now, his eyes were dim. At this moment, he looked as if every bit of life was being quickly sucked from his body. Being drained. Being fed upon.

Kyle dropped.

“OH SHIT!” So much for not caring. Cartman very much did care. He hopped the fence, immediately going for Kyle’s wrist to check his pulse.

“Butters! Go fucking get Stan! Clyde, bring the goddamn truck over!”

The pulse was there, not particularly erratic or weak, but Kyle was still unconscious. That ruled out dehydration or even fatigue or malnutrition. This wasn’t just a blackout episode. This was bad. This was really bad.

Eric watched the smaller man for any sign of seizure or discomfort. Nothing. Not even a hint of him stirring. Fuck.

He swept the red curls from Kyle’s sweaty forehead, and had to force himself not to vomit at the clump of hair that came away with his hand. Nope. Absolutely the hell not.

A sobbing Clyde pulled up in the farm truck right about the time Stan was throwing himself off the four-wheeler. Sansa, the sweet dog they’d all come to love, stayed by her human friend’s side, whining a little at the distress of the situation. The new kid looked frozen, Scott had emerged from the bunkhouse where he’d been fixing lunch, and Stan’s eyes were wide and unreadable.

“Cartman, what happened?” Stan growled.

When Stan Marsh got serious like this, it was terrifying, even to him. He only ever really got like that when it came to Kyle, though.

“He… he just… collapsed.”

That probably wasn’t the most helpful explanation, but it was all Eric could manage. Stan got the message, obviously, saw the urgency of whatever the hell they were dealing with. He scooped the prone body into his arms, blue eyes drilling into Cartman.

“Drive?”

[honeyslow]

Okay serious question for the lottienat fandom. You’re in the writers room. How would you play this season in order for the ship to be endgame. Like would you start from now or have some interactions pre crash/ during crash etc. I’m really curious so let me know!

um idk looking at things through the lens of shipping and being endgame or whatever can get so reductive so easily and it’s not something i’m interested in doing anymore at my big age like it’s all about Narrative and Themes and Parallels (and gayass acting)

but i mean simone and jules are already doing The Most in that regard and so far both timelines have nat and lottie as each other’s foils anyway like i honestly don’t think i would do anything differently

[izzyspussy]

Okay but what if he doesn’t think about it until high school when he met a girl with the same name as him and he realized that hey maybe that’s what was missing, maybe that’s the piece that had been rattling around in the dark of her mind.

IIRC, he said he got scouted at 14 and idk if they do co-ed football academy (this could be totally wrong tho, I have both a shit memory and approximately 0.5 knowledge about sports career tracks).

But this would be cute! He'd have a phase where he didn't know if he wanted to have her or be her, and probably they would date about it a little bit and then after they were done with that they'd beard for each other because she's a lesbian and he doesn't know what's going on with him yet but boy he sure does like looking at Roy Kent a lot, and then after they were done with that they'd date again for real because actually they are both girls who are gay for girls. Serendipity.

My personal headcanon, I think, is that he was genderqueer as a kid but in that kid way where adults are just like haha aren't kids silly they don't even know about gender.

And then he got scouted(?), and his dad started coming around, and on one hand he simply did not have time to think about it and on the other hand it would suddenly be scary anyway because of James. But tbh mostly the former.

So, to his perception, he just feels really fucking bad sometimes, for no discernible reason, and then he gets over it. Whatever, it's not interfering with his career so it doesn't matter. And like he'd just have every now and then on an off day or the off season or spending the night with a girlfriend where he'd kind of indulge in girlishness, like, for fun 'cause it feels good, but he doesn't really connect those because the girly fun is so lighthearted and, like, whatever. It's so simple and surface level and shit, there's no way it could have an effect on that terrible bad feeling.

And then eventually, he ends up on the team he wants to stay on for the bulk of his career now, and James goes away, and training is not exactly easier or less time consuming but it takes up a little less bandwidth metaphorically speaking because he's surrounded by friends all the time.

And sort of in between, the less and less James is around and the more and more comfortable he gets with the people he's around and who he is and what he's allowed to do, he does more and more girly things, still not drawing the connection, but because he can do whatever he wants now the bad feeling becomes less and less frequent because he can, like, subconsciously make himself feel better before it gets that bad now, with like easy shit like painting his nails or wearing a gayass little outfit or whatever.

Buuuut, because now he has more brainspace to think about things, and he's free to do so too, now when that bad feeling comes up he can't so much not think about it anymore...

[friesian]

Ok fuck it I’m gonna indulge myself and ask for some (whichever ones you vibe with) answers with Marwyd x Link and Marwyd x Rococcus.

I want to know the specific ways Marwyd would dodge my gayass plant, and the other is because that one healing face touch moment at the fashion show gave some thoughts™️

@commanderfloppy

FLOPPY MY GOOD FRIEND. i will give you a warning now, someone is PROBABLY getting hit. i'm sorry link. i'm sorry rococcus.

4 Which one is more protective? Who needs to be ‘protected’?

so i'll do this one for link. marwyd is EASILY more protective but in a you-are-smaller-than-me-so-if-i-don't-protect-you-something-bad-will-probably-happen sort of way. he just assumes that smaller people need help. stop stereotyping, marwyd.

that and he's just FIERCELY protective of his friends in the first place. it doesn't matter. if he considers you a good person you probably have a cowboy attack dog literally at your side. he WON'T HESITATE BITCH!!!

19 How do they feel about PDA?

for both; HELL NO. FUCK NO. STOP IT. LITERALLY LEAVE HIM ALONE. DO NOT TOUCH HIM. DO NOT EVEN LOOK AT HIM.

if someone goes for it they're getting REFLEXIVELY HIT. maybe even punched. he allows HEALING. that's fine. whatever. there's a PURPOSE to that and that's to not be in pain anymore. but for the sheer motive of 'oh marwyd you looks so WARM i want to CUDDLE you and HUG you'. you will be turned to Mince Meat.

39 Who would rescue an injured animal and nurse it back to health? What would the other think?

i think marwyd would take the cake barely before rococcus just because he's so OBSESSED with livestock, animals, ect. i like to think rococcus finds it an admirable trait and maybe if not a bit cute that he's talking to the animal the entire time he's tending to the poor thing. like "'aight lil'guy, yer gonna feel a pinch-- naw it's okay, shhh, it's alright bud, yer gonna be okay. sorry about this."

he's VERY VERY soft about animals. very caring. very. [vague gestures]

[hxneylavendxr]

for the sending character thing: Izumi sena bc im basic

[evil smile]

sexuality hc - gay gay homosexual gayass mother fucker but, and this is important to me, not in ye old gay misogynist anime boy doesn't even look at women way but in a straight man's written caricature straight woman's gay best friend plaything way you know. which i think is HILARIOUS especially for a gacha anime boy what the fuck man

gender hc - he could absolutely be a trans guy he fucking could. you know the izumi sena unsafe binding official art im talking about

i don't think he's cisgender at all, but calling him effeminate just feels too damn right- he's in the gray space the gender not soup but void

ships - um. give me a ship as full of gut pulling history and reprehensible turmoil but beautiful reconciliation and resolve as izuleo and i cannot for the life of me be expected not to eat that shit up come on now they literally got married in florence what can i say

however ASIDE FROM THE OBVIOUS izukao chiaizu and all three as a polycule is <333 being in that class must have been like a fever dream i've always longed for what they had there

and ritsuizu urgh!!!!! they are (very very very very often) portrayed in fanfictions(tm) as a side pick me up/friends w benefits situation and You Know What? i agree it's always just whatever anyway with those two isn't it

brotp - 3a trio AGAIN because i contain multitudes. and Oh she's about to say something weird again izushu platonic kismesis that makes sense okay i think they're very silly. lastly izunaru!!!! arashi can be like the straight girl to his gay best friend

notp - don't think i have one for him (as i dont for most characters hsfg)

random hc - well besides the fact that izuleo getting married in florence was not a canonically explicitly stated event but it totally happened in my head, ahh we have the classic 3a trio being the only three who actually showed up to class 3a and kaoru, almost skipping himself initially, is able to convince them to all go down to the beach before their teacher shows up So he spent days in the sand with those two a lot during his school days

general opinion - he's such a textbook capital b Bitch and im really glad he didn't get all that much development in that area by the time we arrived in !! .like he got better but all i can say is that's the difference between Being a High Schooler and not being a high schooler aghhfhj he is so fucking funny what's he all bitter over 24/7 he has self inflicted asshole brain disease which is just like me fr... he is also very pretty :3