#like regardless of all the horrible horrible fucking shit i miss them

[tabbytiger]

man

[dippedinmelancholy]

TW for spoliers for Dragon Age Inquistion (I guess????? It't been 10+ years guys) I keep seeing a lot of people talking about Solas and how horrible he is ( keep my wife's name out of your mouth, I love him your honor) but like, honestly as someone who fell in love Dragon Age Inquisition, it triggered my entire love for the whole series . . . people are missing something huge. Literally all of the main companions, and honestly all of the Advisors, are morally grey, fucked up people. Cole - Literally a spirit/demon. Kills people to 'help'. Varric - Bro is in a long term affair with a woman he can't/won't commit to, is constantly running from responsibility. Sera - Claims to be on the side of the small and helpless, could not give two fucks about the elves at all. Is obscenely racist and cruel, especially if you're playing Dalish. Doesn't seem to give any fucks for how her actions make others feel. Cassandra - Seeker/Templar. Thedas cop. Doesn't care that the mages are regularly abused and violated. Blindly believes in the Chantry, and even after she is given evidence of their fucks ups, cannot pull herself away. Iron Bull - Once again, massively dangerous, worse than a cop. Warrior/master spy. Openly infiltrates your group, sees no sin in how the Qunari operate or stripping people entirely of rights. Blackwall - War criminal????? Fucks you in a barn and leaves???? Takes on the identity of a Warden all in hopes that he can pretend hard enough to be a decent person. Again, dude fucks you in a barn. Jail. Gross. Vivenne - Hungrily plays the politics of Orlais. Believes in keeping the mages in Circles, regardless of the abuse, and is constantly out for her own gain. Her reasonings are wholly selfish. Dorian - Bro defends slavery like five minutes after meeting you. The need for gay rights doesn't fix that my guy. Solas - Doesn't see anyone in the world as people unless/until you change his mind. Sees the Iquisition as a means to an end, and your Inquisitor as someone to manipulate to get to his end goals. Cullen - Reformed Templar, fighting addiction and his past crimes. Abused, violated, he didn't believe mages were people. Josephine - Was a Bard in Orlais. Sounds nice, actually murderous. Killed a friend, is haunted by the act. Though sweet, plays the Game as ruthlessly as anyone else. Leliana - Assassin, murderer, has no problems with being brutal and manipulating everyone for her end goals. Every single one of them are terrible. They are people who have done terrible things, brutalized others, and yet have chosen to stay with the Inquisition. From all corners of Thedas, and yet dedicated to protect the world. Even Solas. His goal to tear down the veil isn't a desire to destroy the world. It's to save the very crumb of his people that remains. And in all of these characters, YOU shape them. You help them choose to be better or worse. That is the beauty of Inquisition. When the world is falling to shit, the sky is literally caving in and a would be god is trying to destroy you all out of spite, PEOPLE come together. They want to protect the world. If you're going to apply a cold, unmoving and non-understanding moral compass to Solas, you better be prepared to do it to every single one of them.

[babytarttdoodoo]

for the mini fic prompt, could you do hurt/comfort where jamie hyperventilates and has a panic attack in mom city? and with keeley and roy to help him through it

Y’all really looked at the angst and h/c of the last one and went ‘yup’, huh? I love it.

Went back and forth on when in Mom City to place this but there is a good chunk of unaccounted for time in the episode where we know Jamie, Roy and Keeley were all together.

Thank you for the prompt and I hope you enjoy.

(Prompt Fill Masterpost)

—

They ended up in the hotel bar. It was hardly the most glamorous spot in the city and Jamie felt a bit like he should be doing more to show Roy and Keeley around his hometown.

The truth was, though, that he was still just bone-deep tired. He hadn’t missed the way Roy had eyed him assessingly before telling Keeley that Jamie wasn’t allowed cocktails and making a fuss about the team curfew.

Jamie was grateful for it. Not that he would ever admit it out loud.

So all three of them had retraced their steps back to the Hacienda and found a quiet corner that kept them mostly hidden from the view of other guests enjoying a nightcap. Roy had looked entirely too pleased with himself when he returned from the bar with a beer, something pink and foamy for Keeley, and a neon-coloured, sugary monstrosity of a mocktail that he set down in front of Jamie.

The umbrella in it was a nice touch.

It drew out a bout of good natured teasing that it was easy to laugh at, to fall into a familiar rhythm with, but Jamie quickly resorted to quietly sipping his glorified fruit juice while Roy and Keeley (mostly Keeley) carried on the conversation around him.

Talking seemed like so much effort, right then.

Don’t get him wrong, seeing his mum had helped loads. It always did. She never judged him for anything and always understood what he was trying to say, regardless of whatever mixed metaphors he came up with to describe the mess in his head.

Just spending a bit of time with her had settled something in his chest that felt like it had rattled loose weeks ago.

But that feeling of dread that had dogged so many of his waking hours was still pulling at the back of his mind. It was with a sort of detached fascination that Jamie noticed his fingers shaking when he reached for his glass.

“Jamie?”

“Hmm?” He startled and looked up from the table to see Roy and Keeley staring right at him, twin expressions of pinched concern on their faces. Like a weird parody of those posters in his room. “Oh, er, sorry, Keels. Miles away.”

“You should get to bed.” Roy stated, frowning but not (Jamie thought) in an angry way. “We still need you tomorrow.”

Right.

“The crowd’s gonna hate you. And the person who’s gonna be booing the loudest in the crowd is your dad.”

Jamie stood abruptly, barely noticing the screech his chair made against the floor past the white noise suddenly rushing in his ears. He did notice the way concern shifted straight to fucking alarm across the table and stumbled over an apology.

“Sorry! Sorry, I’ll just go. Upstairs.” He swallowed and it made his stomach churn. Could you sweat on the inside of your mouth? It definitely felt like it. “Need me rest, don’t I?”

Roy was already getting up too. “Fuck, Jamie, I didn’t mean…”

“Stay for a bit? We’ll walk you up.” Keeley chimed in, looking at Jamie with big, liquid eyes and shit, he couldn’t handle any more of this.

He said something, he thought, but didn’t know or care if it made sense. He just shook his head and backed away quickly, keenly aware of the eyes on him as he made a beeline for the lobby.

Jamie shouldered open the door to the stairwell without making a conscious decision to take the stairs. It probably wasn’t a good idea - the shaking in his fingers had apparently spread and it felt like pins and needles were running up his legs. Everything about how he was feeling made the plushly carpeted steps seem horribly intimidating.

In the absence of a better option, he sank down to sit on them instead, clutching onto the wall and only barely aware of the short, sharp breaths he was pulling in. His chest felt like he’d been doing Roy’s sadistic suicide runs all day.

Funny, his vision swam when he did those too.

He closed his eyes against the nausea that swamped him as if a tide of awful was rushing over his head and just tried to breathe, to focus on the sound and rhythm of air sucked into his lungs instead of anything else.

The feeling of hands on him jolted through his body like a shockwave.

“No!” He flailed his arms in an effort to get away and pressed back against the wall, looking around wildly.

“Shit, shit, sorry love.” For a terrifying second, Jamie didn’t even recognise Keeley, too confused by her sudden appearance. She was perched on the stairs too, hands snatched back against her chest to keep from reaching out again. “It’s just us. You’re okay.”

“Oi, Tartt.” Oh, Roy was there too, crouching down to his level and fixing him with a remarkably steady look. Right now, that seemed like some sort of superpower. Roy Fucking Kent, eh?

“Look at me, alright? Deep breath in.” He gestured to his own expanding ribcage and Jamie found himself following along. Copying his coach like it was the most natural thing in the world. He blew air out through pursed lips and drew it back in again. And again. And again. His eyes stayed fixed on Roy’s face, latched on to that cool, collected calm.

Slowly, the rest of the world started to filter back in and Jamie had the presence of mind to realise how ridiculous this all was. He was cowering in a corner like a scared kid while the two people he’d idolised for at least a fucking decade coddled him. His face felt wet.

He scrubbed his hands roughly over his eyes and cheeks, shifting into a more comfortable seating position and feeling his ears and neck burn with shame.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.” Roy agreed, still watching him carefully. “Alright?”

Jamie nodded glumly then startled when Roy all but collapsed to sit on the floor below him. The calm of a moment ago had disappeared in the blink of an eye.

“Jesus Christ, don’t fucking do that again.” He practically snarled the words but didn’t actually look angry. He looked… something else. “Scared the shit out of me.”

Oh.

“Oh. Sorry.” Jamie offered weakly, baffled when Roy just shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Babe.” Keeley’s voice was quiet, tentative in a way he’d never really heard from her before. He turned to see that her eyes still looked huge, set in a paler than normal face. But she smiled at him. “Can I touch you now? Is that alright?”

That sounded fucking wonderful so Jamie nodded and went easily into her arms. She was tiny but he curled up to tuck his face against her shoulder, shivering when her fingers smoothed back his hair.

“That’s it, darling. We’ve got you. You’re gonna be okay.” She went on murmuring soft, nice little things to him as the shaking slowly left Jamie’s frame and he felt like his legs might support him again.

Eventually, he cleared his throat and sat back up straight. His eyes darted between them, seeing clearly now that they both looked properly terrible.

“... don’t suppose there’s any chance we can just forget that happened?” he tried hopefully. It did at least get a snort of laughter from Roy.

“Not a fucking hope in hell, you little prick.” He stood slowly, bracing a hand on the wall, and grimaced. “Ears.”

“What?” Jamie furrowed his brow in confusion when Keeley immediately slapped her hands over her ears. It quickly curdled into guilt when Roy reached down and viciously adjusted his knee with the worst cracking, squelching sound Jamie had ever heard. “Fucking hell, old man. What the fuck did you get on the floor for?”

Roy didn’t dignify that with an answer, just held out his hands to Jamie.

“C’mon, up. We’re not staying here all night.”

Jamie almost questioned what he meant by ‘we’, but just accepted the help instead and used Roy’s strong grip to pull himself back to standing.

Keeley followed his lead unaided and wrapped herself around Jamie’s arm, clearly intent on holding him for the foreseeable future. Or maybe she just thought he needed the extra support. That was valid.

Stairs were obviously not an option now, not with Roy wincing on every other step taken to show them back out into the lobby. Nevertheless, he hovered like a bodyguard, shielding the view of them both as much as he could with his own body until they reached the lift.

Keeley disentangled a hand to stab at the call button and they all herded into the small space like some bizarre conga line.

Jamie couldn’t even find it in himself to protest. Not when Keeley was soft and warm against his side, the smell of her perfume so achingly familiar. Not when Roy put a guiding hand to the small of his back and it drifted up to grip his shoulder once they were inside.

He found his voice, though, when Roy pressed the button for the eighth floor.

“I’m on six.” His suitcase was still sitting open on the bed, he thought, unpacked and lonely.

“My room’s bigger.” Roy told him gruffly, like that was any kind of answer, and made absolutely no move to change their destination.

Confused, Jamie let himself be led along to the room that Roy was apparently staying in and shuffled across the threshold. It actually was a bit nicer than his - that hardly seemed fair.

Keeley gently tugged him over the bed and sat him down. She smoothed back his hair again and it felt so nice.

“Do you need anything? I’m going to grab some of my stuff. I can go to your room too.”

Jamie scrunched up his face. It felt like he’d missed a whole conversation at some point. 

“You’re sleeping in here.” Roy told him, tone brooking no argument and Jamie turned to him in surprise. “So we can make sure you do actually fucking sleep.”

Sure enough, Roy was turning down the bedsheets and moving his own things around. Making room.

“Oh.” Jamie considered that. The thought of spending the night alone with Roy Kent in a hotel room brought up a lot of very complicated feelings. Except, it sounded like Keeley was planning to stick around as well, didn’t it? And the idea of staying like this for the rest of the night, bracketed between them with nice words and soft touches, was more comforting than he could bear.

“Alright then.”

[just-prime]

8 : Oh so boring

The horrifying MCU-ification of the Star Wars universe is in horrific display as 8 episodes lead nowhere but setup.

Before I get to everything else, I do want to say, Ray Stevenson's passing is a true tragedy, and I appreciate the love and care he clearly put into his character. He was the only compelling one, and I shudder to think of how Disney will probably heartlessly recast.

Now, on to the episode

Well, all the leaks that said it was zombies were right, to the surprise of no one. This is the MCU now, we need something more than just a fuck ton of stormtroopers to blow through, we need an undead CGI army.

First off : The Jedi, The Witch, and The Warlord...FUCK OFF FILONI. YOU ARE NOT CUTE.

The show opens with the attempt to lull Legends fans back into a Sion reference for no reason. Also, Thrawn's super baggy pants seem unnecessary, especially since the design in Rebels always has him in perfectly tailored clothes. Nothing during his decade abroad that would have cause the pants to change that drastically, so it just feels like an unnecessary change that is not an attractive look :(

Morgan's power ups make no sense, and as soon as she got them she was going to die. Her eyes had me making a half dozen Supernatural jokes for obvious reasons. The whole "Blade of Talzin" thing is also very dumb given the fact that I assume Mother Talzin would have used every weapon in her arsenal to stop Grievous, and I would think a lightsaber proof sword is on that list.

The entire "Ezra makes himself a new lightsaber" scene filled me rage for a few reasons.

A) Ezra literally just turned down Sabine's offer of the lightsaber for the martial arts force powers which we never see him use again.

B) Huyang knowing about Caleb and Kanan being the same person feels kinda weird to me to be perfectly honest.

C) Ezra's new lightsaber is boring. Full stop. This is the kid who built a gun into his first one, it makes no sense that he'd make one that looks this mediocre.

D) All of Sabine's family dying horrible deaths on Mandalore has always struck me as a cop out. It's just lazy writing to isolate Sabine.

The Stakes

Spoiler alert : THERE ARE NONE

We knew this was going to end in a cliffhanger for a while now, which means none of the main cast was going to die. Morgan has always been a means to an end for Thrawn, not that her loyalty was ever explain...But none of our heroes were gonna bite it (regardless of how I hoped for Huyang to explode) so there were no stakes. Thrawn had to escape, despite the fact that he is weirdly shaken, so he does. Ezra had to get home, so he does. Sabine and Ahsoka are now trapped on some stupid Mortis world??? Okay, pause, I'm getting ahead of myself here...because before that...

Sabine has the Force now

My deepest condolences to anyone who is finding this out from me, but Sabine is offically confirmed and shown to be Force sensitive. Yes it is dumb. Yes it makes no sense. Yes this is something we all saw being foreshadowed from day one, unfortunately. Especially with the playing down of her Mandalorian-ness (she's constantly losing her helmet, her gun accuracy has utterly gone, she barely uses her gauntlets, etc etc) it was obvious that Filoni wanted to do with her, what he was too cowardly to do with Grogu.

Other miscellaneous shit

It turns out that Ahsoka's shuttle is Jedi era...which makes no fucking sense.

The nightsisters being totally on board with the Empire feels like their ability to tell what's going on in the main universe might be a bit sketchy do to the fact that they missed that the guy in charge of the Empire is the one who ordered Dathomir razzed.

100% of the problems that the gang run into would have been solved if Sabine had a fucking jetpack

They pull the "Thrawn knew Anakin" card out of nowhere in the dumbest possible way, which really just goes to show how much FIloni hates the new canon Thrawn books.

Chopper recognizes Ezra (which was rather cute) before Hera does, because he decides to show up on a New Republic cruiser in full Thrawn stormtrooper garb. Also we don't even get a hug between Hera and Ezra.

Shin (because she exists, remember?) who is also stranded now, goes and appears to be taking over the bandit camp we saw earlier. Have no idea where they are taking that...but honestly, good for Shin doing something for her, this seems like a selfcare move.

Now, the ending...Fucking Mortis

So, the final shot we get of Baylan, he is standing on a giant statue of The Father (there is a statue of The Son, and a destroyed statue of The Daughter) pointing out towards something on the horizon.

Back at the hermit crab people camp, Ahsoka and Sabine (and fucking Anakin's ghost, because that's right people, instead of hanging out with his son, Anakin has been just hovering over Ahsoka this whole time apparently) here this chirping, and it's a fucking creepy hyper realistic CGI Morai.

So yeah, that's clearly how all of the trapped characters are going to get off this planet...the World between Worlds. Now, this brings up a fuck ton more questions...Chief of all being how did Ezra not use this to escape years ago???

And I get that Mortis is not everybody's favorite Clone Wars arc. Which is fair. I don't hate it, but I never loved it, and Filoni dragging in the dumbest piece of Force lore that he created is infuriating. ESPECIALLY with this being so obviously aimed at those who've not watched Clone Wars or Rebels. I'm curious to see how much he immediately recons about it, given that it's been his go-to move since before even Mando s3...

I fear they're going to do something like "Bayan is The Father, Ahsoka is The Daughter, and Shin and Sabine have to fight over being The Son" or some stupid bullshit like that.

I'm glad this is the last Filoni property we're getting for a while, since I'm pretty sure he's not involved with Skeleton Crew at all writing-wise.

I am just so happy it's over!

In the meantime, if you are as annoyed at Filoni as I am, spite him by reading the new canon Thrawn books!!! They are really fantastic and give Thrawn a lot of facinating depth, along with having an incredible cast of side characters.

For those of you who are new or just finding me because of my Ahsoka rants, please stick around!!! I'm sure I will be having other annoyed Ahsoka thoughts in the weeks to come as I think back about the full series and about just everything that it's fucked up. Feel free to pop into my ask box if you're curious about my other Star Wars related opinions, I'm more than happy to answer, though know that for the majority of the recent shows, I do not look fondly.

But if you are looking for some vindication on not enjoying recent Star Wars things, then this is the blog for you!!!

[fandoms-in-law]

To the Past Versions

Summary: Steve gets pushed to write letters to his past by Dustin, and then Robin when he isn't nice in the first. It does eventually help him.

Authors note: I am ever confused when words fall easily. I write constantly so it happens often enough, but if I have a prompt I expect to get stuck. Today I did not, happily so.

The idea for this fic: Dear self esteem* as a Steve fic except he's really just writing to memories, wondering when he stopped feeling like he could do anything/be anything

*A sanders sides fic I wrote a while back

/\/\

Attempt 1:

Hey Steve,

So Dustin has it in his head that we all need to write to the past to get mentally healthy or something, sounds like bullshit, which is what you are, so I picked you to write to.

You’re so wrapped up in yourself, you don’t even realise how much of an asshole you are. You Don’t treat Nancy right now, and barely get better after you sleep with her. You’re a complete jackass, who I and everyone I’ve basically ever met hates and that’s without knowing you most of the time.

Literally, I meet people I thought were complete strangers, or maybe classmates I never interacted with, and get told how horrible you are. That’s how bad you are. You’re worse than complete garbage and trust me, I’ve met men like that enough to know.

Get your head out of your ass, stop bullying people for no reason and fucking learn money solves basically nothing. It just lets you pretend the problem isn’t there until you run out of it.

Thanks for nothing, And better grovel for Nancy to help you learn to be better, you useless prick.

Steve.

Attempt 2:

So, somehow Robin found out about my first letter and got mad about it? She’s telling me to right to a past me that I actually like and seems set on doing so until she thinks I’m healthier. There were threats to show it to Dustin involved and I do not want to know how he’d react. He’s already acting oddly, along with the other kids since Robs found it. I think she spoke to them too.

Sorry for the ramble, Steve, hello.

You’ll meet Robin soon so don’t worry over having no clue who she is. The kids have already inserted themselves into your lives and I still agree that you’re better for it.

I think the first time I actually liked myself was because of those kids. For once I wasn’t a Harrington, or a basketball player; I was a guy who could help them, protect them in a way Nancy never let me feel like I had done. (We both know I was the one who won against that demogorgan not her or Jonathan though)

Times are shit for you outside of the kids though, but I miss those days. Even if Billy liked to lord over me that he was king now, it was nice to be in the background at school, and stand a chance of learning in lessons instead of Tommy yanking me into parties or rubbish that I never enjoyed. Heck I even enjoyed a few of the classes that year. Who knew I could be interested in that stuff?

Life gets better though, even if it comes looking like horrid situations sometimes. And the kids will be there nagging you through it all. I love those shitheads.

Keep going.

Steve.

Attempt 3:

Hey Steve,

Erica would have gotten involved regardless. It might be horrible that you and Robin were the ones to do it when she was so young, but I think it was better for her. This last time was the worst and I’m glad she wasn’t trying to understand it all without something to get out of it. You don’t have to carry that guilt forever. At least share some of it with Robin since she was the one who came up with the idea and acted before asking me or Dustin if it was sensible to try.

I wish you had done that ceremonial burning of the scoops outfit though. You and Robs joked about it so much in the weeks after the fire but here I am, with Eddie fucking Munson begging me to wear it again just so he can see the old uniform fully assembled.

Seriously, go burn it now whenever you don’t get a letter from the future appearing

Steve

Attempt 4:

Dear Steve,

Kiddo, you know these people you think are friends aren’t. I wouldn’t call the kids I look after kiddo but somehow it works for 13yr old me. Popularity isn’t friendship, it’s people pretending to like you because they think that’ll get them something; I wish you weren’t so desperate for friendship and connection you fell into it.

This is the last year I remember trying to stop someone insulting another person. You got called a bleeding heart for months and if you even grimace at the worst bullying happening around you Tommy or one of the other people hanging onto you would turn everything onto ‘bleeding heart Harrington’. The poker face you develop because of it still hasn’t been broken when Eddie decides everyone should play cards.

Steve, you have hell coming before you, and despite the monsters and location that matches that name better to most people, for you that is high school and being forced to the top all because you wanted friends. You get through it, you find monsters and discover what real friendship is after all of that. I think someone in history class said something about if you’re going through hell keep going and that’s what you need to do, what I did.

But, kid, still keep trying to be kind when you can. I know it feels precarious, dangerous, to have everyone looking at you and see the bullying they do to anyone shown to be human. I know how scared I felt that it’d turn on me if I refused any of those people I thought were friends too much, but you try, I tried, as much as I could for as long as I could, until I got here.

You’re going to be lonely for a while, Steve, but not forever, I promise you that.

I’ll see you in my reflection when I get stunned by my friends. They’ll find you eventually.

Steve

Attempt 5:

Dear Steve,

I dug out a picture to write this. One mom took just before leaving saying she’d get it developed so she could never forget her darling boy. Two promises broken at once because I found that camera, and the film still inside it a decade later, the picture still undeveloped until I asked Jonathan if he could.

Dustin was right when he read somewhere that writing to our past could help us feel better, but he was wrong too. He suggested times I could write to for stupid things or times following what he thinks are the big traumas, but those are easy. I knew more of the world then, but you’re just a kid, younger than Erica was when I got to know her and needing far more protection than I think she’s ever done.

If Robin had brought you into the back room of Scoops that day I might’ve done the most sensible thing ever and just driven out of Hawkins, you and Dustin packed into the back seat to try and figure out how to survive. Until Mrs Henderson took Dustin back because she loves him so much.

Sometimes it hurts to witness that, because of your year, 8yrs old and absolutely sure I was a big boy who could cope with a few nights home alone because mom wanted to go with father on a short trip. You shouldn’t have been, have needed to be, and for a long time I’ve been sad about that.

Mom and father were home last week and she found the picture, said she didn’t remember getting it developed. I didn’t correct her. Because you were lonely, scared, for so long, and now I’m mad.

I know you get through it, become the best cook to start taking home economics and almost kill yourself mixing cleaning products enough times you didn’t need chemistry class to tell you what makes poisonous gases. You get to become me eventually, but you shouldn’t have. I could never imagine leaving one of the kids I look after home alone in the way you were, and that’s on our parents. They failed you, even before now, but at 8 was the first time you wondered it. You didn’t need to correct yourself then although I know you did. Mom and father failed you.

We make it, and they will realise they’ve been strangers my whole life when they come home to emptied rooms, bills unpaid and no forwarding address. I move out next week to an apartment with friends.

You will have company again.

Steve

Attempt 6:

Your majesty, King Steve,

Eddie is pretty funny and I think I need his flavour of madness right now. Last time I tried to write to you I got mad, at myself more than at you. Then Robin both got mad and started paying attention to how she and everyone talks to me or about who I’ve been. She’s still mad but at herself and others now.

You aren’t good, Steve, but you weren’t as horrible as I began to think. I mean, even at what everyone thinks is my worst I went back to save Nancy. Robin pointed that out to me, sat down and dissected things I was sure I did at my worst, before Nance and I were officially dating.

Some things surprised her and I like knowing that I was a good friend, even to people who weren’t, because you are. You are there giving Carol pudding pots when Tommy ruins hers; there checking no one on the swim or basketball teams gets too hurt by teasing; there trying to make sure everyone claiming to be your friend has what they need.

Those aren’t things a bad person would do, just someone so caught up in protecting themself from the pain of loneliness and isolation that they compromise themself for company. Okay, Robin told me that too, but it tracks.

Most importantly, when I get the chance to be better, to know real connections, I take it. That’s pretty great of you.

Thanks Steve. You take the biggest step for us.

Attempt 7:

To Myself,

It’s been a long journey and I never thought I’d write to myself half so much as I have.

I’ve been popular, lonely, both at once, heartbroken, loved and to hell only to come out fighting. Concussions are far too familiar a sensation and I could probably make do living in the woods with the ways I learnt to cook.

Life is a trip and apparently I don’t get a choice about living it. But in all the letters to our past I’ve written there’s one thing I realised I’ve wanted someone to tell me for years and that’s that it’s okay to mess up. It’s okay if I wasn’t always the nicest person, or that I’m not smart, hardly perfect and have very little will to fight for myself or against other people. I don’t need to be perfect because with the right people we can make a wonderful imperfect family.

To us, Steve. To being myself, as best I know how.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

RoR Kyoshi thoughts (From someone who jumped to her parts in the book) SPOILERS

(tw suicide mention)

Ok I finally got to see what's in the damn book. So I skipped to Kyoshi's backstory portions (the only two instances I know of). And........yeah I still don't like it, but it's not......as inflammatory as I thought it'd be. It's just so vague? (I still plan on making that other rant, but I want full context first)

*The only two moments of Kyoshi I know of are the meditation thing and Disha revealing her old companionship.*

I don't know the full context within the book (I'm kind of eh on going into it now because I heard they mary sue'd Sozin/Roku by giving them special powers because they are special boys, which I would've stomached if they just didn't screw Kyoshi over). But what I got from the dialogue within just those two scenes were.........lackluster and odd. (of course maybe I'm missing context, but I know I wasn't lost in the convo and I know some spoilers of what lead up to some, but the interactions AS IS? It's just making me go "hmmm")

Maybe they'll go more in depth in a 2nd novel (I hope not! <3 I don't want another thank you <3 I'm afraid of what you'll do <3), kinda like how we got more Kuruk in SoK. Because there's still a lot of questions and not a lot of answers. And it makes me wonder if they are just taking us for a ride ngl (I'm still recovering from the burns of my other fandom, I'm not giving myself hope that is for the case here, but the feeling is still nagging at me).

I think what annoys me now is..... 1) It still doesn't feel like it lines up with ATLA/LoK, and 2) It's wishy washy.

"Oh she was bad......well not too bad, she did a lot of good. But we still stopped working with her. :) And I mean it was A LOT of good.....but still bad things happened tee hee" Like?????? Pick a lane, don't make it so wishy washy TT0TT

I know they are constraint to ATLA/LoK, aka she needs to be viewed positively. Even by Aang (you know the people who didn't want to work with her?) when he first sees her statue in S1. And like??? Do you REALLY expect me to believe that Chin Village wouldn't be preaching about how horrible she was post-Chin???? Yes they are self centered, but I just know if they could use more slander to their advantage they would.

So anyway, she can't go full mad dog Dani from GoT (still feels like it due to lack of build up, we needed a few more books because RoK/SoK still gives us options of where she could end up, and ATLA/LoK cut off some of those options but there are still plenty of options regardless). Because then it wouldn't line up with later canon.

So like, if it's going to feel weird, maybe go a different route? "Oh we needed a way for her to die" she's immortal not invulnerable! Holy shit. There are 10000s ways you can write her character and it didn't have to lead here. She could've committed suicide because *insert reason*. She could've gotten hurt in battle, BY A SPIRIT! If no human is strong enough, then we can always "Spirit it away". Maybe she died protecting Rangi. Or just protecting someone! Anyone!

Speaking of Rangi. Where is she? :) Where's Rangi? :) This is coming from someone who thought she wouldn't live to see Chin, where the fuck is Rangi? Cause you can't open the book about "oh there's firebenders who can learn immortality" AND THEN NOT DO ANYTHING WITH THAT! You cannot put such an important emphasis on her character in relation to Kyoshi's well being in the Kyoshi novels, and THEN NOT MENTION HER???? Ok ok I haven't read the whole book, but I was told she wasn't even MENTIONED?!

You know, this is why I think something is up. Disha's perspective, the lack of Rangi mention AT ALL, the vagueness of it all esp her death, why it took 2 damn years for her to die???? Something is up. If the next Roku novel comes out and they aren't like "Lol we had you, no she wasn't THAT bad, she did get abandoned by the Air Nomads but that was because of a misunderstanding/betrayal lol" (in all honesty, even more tragic if that was the case. She didn't even do the thing that cause her abandonment, which would track with how unlucky she is). And tbh, if her reputation was fucked over, it'd parallel Kuruk pretty well. (esp if spirits were involved)

Anyway, if they aren't going for a twist later. It feels like they just chose the most obvious/lazy (and not well thought out/planned) idea first. It needed to have a needle thread and I just don't think they threaded it. And it just comes off as messy.

[hell-drabbles]

Ah sorry for the confusion, inconvenience

I should probably clarify

I wanted to know how Raqi would be with pre-anglification Companion

Either non angsty route would be Raqi getting found by Ra-On or Companion

And angsty route is like the exact same but Angel Companion gets taken to Heaven and Raqi is left behind with the demons and Ra-On

I feel like Raqi would like pre-anglification Companion as well because of how wrathful Companion is

Dante Anon

Let's see, switching back to the normal timeline, Raqiel's first sight of the Companion would probably be them covered in angel blood and feathers.

They see a group of angels dog-piling upon someone they can't quite see and they swing their pipe at the nearest head. To drive them off. The Companion has seen this kind of mob mentality a number of times back in the human world, and it never ends up being anything they can just leave alone.

Of course, the Companion is still tense at the sight of Raqiel, he's an angel after all, but damn he looks like shit.

Companion ends up giving in and treating him, with the thought that he'll probably go elsewhere. But nope, Raqiel is here to stay. He has no where else to go, no home that will accept him in the way the Companion does.

Anyways, with the Companion, I feel like Raqiel would probably end up gaining a small sadistic trait to him. Nothing aimed at the Companion, isn't interested in hurting you or seeing in you pain, he's interested in seeing what pain you could bring to others. It's fun!

The worship is still there, still toned down for the sake of not annoying the Companion. Still willing to do just about anything that they say regardless of how weird the command may be.

That being said, Raqiel is going to be... a little manic when the Companion goes missing. Raqiel goes missing himself and only comes back to the designated resting spot to rest and clean himself up before going off again. Will probably be the one to confirm that the Companion is nowhere near Hell. And ends up coming to the conclusion that they might actually be in Heaven.

Raqiel knows his Heavenly brethren. He knows how they relish in bringing emotional anguish for no other reason other than to satisfy their own needs. Raqiel's angel body count will probably go up during this time.

He'll calm down eventually, but it's clear that there's something bubbling under the surface.

...

Anyways, I actually think Raqiel's interactions with Ra-on would be pretty interesting, if funny to me.

Raqiel, when interacting with Ra-on, has a bit of a tense smile around him. Doesn't quite know how to interact with him in such a way that won't give away the fact that Raqiel isn't all that interested in him, because the Companion clearly has some form of care towards Ra-on, as weird as that is.

Ra-on has definitely tried to make a move on Raqiel once, but Raqiel shut that down so fast, it probably left Ra-on humiliated. I mean, come on, when you have almost every devil in Hell coveting your interest, it's real easy to become arrogant or assume that your desirability exists outside of those circumstances you're in.

That and Ra-on ability to read the fucking room is horrible. Nothing will stop him from openly drooling over Raqiel when he's indulging in his public humiliation kinks.

That being said, Raqiel does not follow Ra-on's orders, even when the Companion goes missing. It seems like he does, but that's because Raqiel was going to do that anyway. Raqiel is very polite after all, and tries not to be too rude when he can.

Companion is the kind to shiver at Ra-on odd crush on them, because they do not have the best view on Ra-on, while Raqiel is kind of condescending? In a way? By that, I mean that

[albatmobile]

The Art of Rehabilitating Snowbirds Chapter 26

𓅪 After not hearing from Roy or Jason for five years, you suddenly find yourself taking in extra income as a babysitter for Roy and Jason's child.

𓅪 Rated: E | 5.5k  includes: public sex, deep-throating, threesome, roy eats u out and fucks you while jason fucks ur mouth

fem!Reader x Jason Todd x Roy Harper [masterlist]

Chapter 26: If You Ever Leave | ao3 - wattpad

Recovering from the boss fight takes weeks, but Jason and Roy are there with you every step of the way.

You move out of the penthouse and into a place you can all call your own. However, the lease only goes through the next year while the three of you settle down together and figure out what you’re doing long-term.

Though there’s technically a room for you, you sleep in their bed every night and they kiss you multiple times a day. It’s the fact that you haven’t once fucked since the motorcycle, let alone talked about where you all stand, that confuses the fuck out of you.

You want to be honest with them, you know, getting everything out in the open and all, but it’s so hard. 

Deep down, you’re still afraid that they only like you because you’ve always been so obviously infatuated with them. 

You and Roy have been using Damian’s private gym to rehabilitate your injuries, with Jason tagging along each time. It’s nice catching up with Damian and he seriously knows what he’s doing when it comes to physical therapy.

There’s a small medbay off to the side, which is where Jason currently has you held hostage. 

As Jason removes your stitches, you want to express your concerns, but only if Roy is present, too. 

“Is Roy still with Damian?”

You wince at a particularly rough pull, but he instantly soothes it away with a sweet kiss to your forehead. The chaste contact only reminds you of your current predicament: what exactly are the three of you?

“No, he’s in the showers,” Jason says with a quirk of his brow. “Why? Miss him?” You blush, choosing to look down at his handy work instead of responding. His calloused fingers halt briefly before finishing the job. 

When Roy walks in, towel slung around his shoulders, you know it’s time to address the elephant in the room.

Roy explains that Lian insisted on going with Damian and Jon to the library, which leaves the entire penthouse to just the three of you. It’s the first time you’ve all been alone since the night before the dockyard battle. 

If there’s ever a time to open up, it’s now.

Say it. 

“I’m,” you start, only to have your words cut themselves off. “I-”

“What, baby?” Roy’s concerned voice tickles at your ears. 

Both of them wear serious looks as if they somehow know what you’re about to say. Regardless, you’re still anxious about revealing your hand. 

“I’m,” you sigh, releasing years of pent-up doubts, miscommunication and second-guessings. “I’m afraid you don’t love me. That you just want to be loved and know you’re loved.” 

“Are those truly horrible things to want?” Jason and your heads shift in unison to stare at Roy’s unexpected response. “What?” he whines as he meets your dumbfounded looks with squinted eyes. “I’ve read Little Women,” you both still must not look convinced because he rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I think it’s about time we talked about what we are,” Roy starts, motioning between the three of you. “Like we, us."

Your mouth falters, not knowing what to say.

You feel like you’ve been obvious with them from the beginning, so it’s time for them to reveal their hand.

Jason looks at Roy, though this time, you know their shared eye contact is Jason asking for permission to reveal… well, you don’t exactly know what.

“Speaking for me first,” Jason starts, shifting uncomfortably. “God, this is so fucking mortifying to admit it, but,” he runs a distracted hand through his hair, “I’ve always had a thing for you. Ever since the first time we skipped, your quick-witted nature, the way you always had a retort for my dumb shit. You definitely caught my eye.” His emerald eyes flicker up to yours now as he walks forward and takes your hands into his. The way he looks at you is like it’s out of a movie, like he can’t ever imagine getting enough of you. “Hell, you’ve always had my attention, babe. I hate to admit it, it’s sappy as fuck, I know, but,” he sighs, “I’ve been hopelessly in love with you from the beginning.”

Jason turns to Roy now, motioning him over. Jason places your hand in Roy’s. The redhead stares down at the contact like he’s afraid of messing up after Jason’s stirring monologue. 

Roy’s eyes remain on your clasped hands as he shakily begins, “You’re beautiful.” You blush, your own eyes resorting down to your hands now, though they flicker up almost immediately to see if he’s looked up yet. He has. You gulp. “You’re intelligent, you don’t let anyone stop you, you’re a fighter, but most of all,” Roy exhales, eyes searching yours, “you loved me and supported me when I couldn’t even do it myself. In high school, I was a wreck, baby.” Roy pouts. “I treated you so wrong, I did you so fucking wrong and it haunts me every day. But this,” he gestures between the three of you, “you being here, your unwavering devotion, how you fucking -” he chokes up. Jason rubs him on the back, wiping away the tears he’d shed before clasping your hand again. “How you fucking treat my daughter like she’s your own.” He shakes his head like he can’t even believe it. “I don’t deserve you, princess.”

You squeeze both of their hands, reassuring them that their words mean everything to you.

Jason pipes up before you can voice your thoughts just yet, “Obviously, there were factors that kept us from revealing this to you before, but-”

Roy finishes where Jason left off anxiously. “Now that all of that is, uh, you know, out of the way,” Roy uncharacteristically stumbles over his words as he finally meets your eyes, “I guess we were just wondering what you think about the whole situation.”

Holy shit.

Your heart is palpitating out of your chest and you’re pretty sure they must be able to hear its erratic beating over the faint noise of traffic below.

“You’ve both really liked me from the beginning?” They nod at your question. “All along?” You’re breathless, no, speechless, at the revelation.

“Baby,” Roy starts like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “we’ve wanted to bang you from the moment we started getting close to you. Right, Jay?” 

You snort, but Jason doesn’t seem amused that he resorts back to humor after such a serious moment. You don’t mind, though—not when they’ve both bared their hearts to you.

Jason elbows him, but you’re already pointedly butting in, “Must be why your first words to me were to call me a fat bitch, then, yeah?” 

Jason looks sheepish while Roy looks offended on your behalf, muttering under his breath, “Dude.” 

“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?” he winces, but you’ve been smiling the entire time, clearly fucking with him.  

“No amount of scones, Todd.” 

They mention having sex with you and almost kissing you a few times and the times they actually did kiss you, "How did you not pick up on what we were putting down? Even now, we literally fucked twice. How are you still questioning this, babe?” 

“I didn’t want to come between you.” 

“Little late for that,” Roy says, waggling his brows teasingly. “There’s not anything to come between when you’ve always been a part of this.” 

“So, you were jealous of Damian.” It’s their turn to squirm. “No way,” you say breathlessly at the revelation.

“Whatever, not our fault you’ve been attached to his side since we met.” 

You can hardly contain your eye roll. “And the two of you dipshits. When I wasn’t with Dami, I was in the library with you guys doing your homework for you.”

Library.

Huh.

Your brain itches as it tries to remember something, but what, you’re having trouble recalling.

“Roy’s homework,” Jason corrects you, but your mind is still stuck.

Library…

The note Jason had left in his book; ‘remember for them.’  

Had it really been about you and Roy after all?

“Remember for them," it’s all you have to say to get a reaction out of Jason.

His eyes flicker to Roy anxiously, who doesn’t seem to understand the new line of conversation. 

Jason, however, seems to know exactly what you’re talking about. “How the fuck do you remember that shit?” he questions.

You’ve hit the nail right on the head.

“I need to know who it was about,” you breathe. 

If he’d actually been thinking about it since then, you would be able to feel relief. You hadn’t been strung along the whole time. He’s loved you this whole time.

“Yes,” he confirms, somewhat embarrassed. “It was about the two of you.” 

You can hardly believe what you’re hearing.

“You mean to tell me this whole time we all could’ve been dating?” 

“You were too young!” Roy cuts in swiftly. “We both had our own issues, still do…” 

“So do I,” you snort, reflecting on the shit show that’s been the past few weeks. 

“And we’re so proud of you,” Jason earnestly says your name. “All mistakes aside, you’ve really handled this entire situation with an impressive amount of grace. You never once crumbled. You allowed yourself to cry, yes, but, ultimately, you stood tall.” Roy’s smirking at Jason now. “It really shows your level of maturity and how far you’ve come since the scrappy little asshole we first met.”

“I, for one,” Roy leans in like the Casanova he is, “love your little asshole.”

“I know the entire family is proud of you for how you handled the Joker, too, Jay-” Your eyes widen when your brain finally catches up to what Roy had said. “Wait, Roy. Love?” you exclaim in disbelief.

Roy’s charm immediately dissipates. He swiftly backs away, but your hand remains firmly around his.

Jason bites his lip as he ponders what to say next. “How would you want to go about this?” he asks.

They’re both staring at you, anxiously awaiting your response. You would laugh, you know, if you weren’t on the edge of your seat in anticipation, too.

“‘This’ being?”

You want to tease them a bit longer, finally content to not be on the receiving end of their torment. You’d consider the ‘this’ a relationship, but you need to hear it from them first.

“We’ve always discussed keeping our relationship open for you,” Roy says. “We just thought, y’know, after all the shit we put you through, that it’d never be an actual option.”

“But now that you’re here, neither of us can imagine a life without you.”

“Neither of us could live a life without you, baby,” Roy says. He looks up at you anxiously, squeezing your hand as he does. “Nor would we want to ever again.”

Speaking of...

“I was so depressed, you know, once I got past all the twinging pain of abandonment,” you start, leaving them to wince. “It was so triggering when abandonment is all I’ve ever known. After knowing what I know now, I don’t hold anything against either of you at all.” You draw them closer to you until they’re both sitting beside you on the mattress. “You’re both all I’ve ever dreamed about and I never thought I’d actually have the chance to be with both of you,” they both instantly look relieved, as if they’re finally able to breathe for the first time since the conversation started. “And, now that we’re all here, I really see no reason for any of us to be anywhere else.”

“Shit,” Roy exhales with a wide smile. “Okay, yeah. This is good.”

You can’t help but bashfully smile back. 

Good? This is everything you’ve ever wanted.

You look between them expectantly, causing both of them to panic. 

“Er,” Jason starts. He unsurely looks at Roy to speak, but he’s already looking Jason’s way for the very same reason.

You clear your throat in an attempt to hide your amusement, but it’s in vain. 

They’ve been so kind to open up to you, so you don’t mind taking the reins this time. “Does this mean the three of us are dating, then?”

You nearly laugh when their wide eyes land on you at the same time and probably would’ve had you not felt so anxious. Actually putting the words out there was a lot more daunting than you’d expected. Then again, it has been the accumulation of literal years. 

Everything’s finally falling into place. You can hardly believe it’s actually becoming official.

Roy responds with an eager shake of his head, “Hell yeah, we are.”

This communication and upfront is exactly what you’d always needed but had never gotten. 

You can finally close all previous confusion and finally, truly move into the future.

At his response, you snort, though Jason’s gentle hand along your jawline stops you. He guides your face to his, looking deeply into your eyes. “Promise you don’t hold anything against us?” Jason asks as if he’s afraid to hear the answer.

“The only thing I’ll ever hold against you is my body.” 

The mood instantly shifts.

“Y’know,” Roy starts as he languidly leans in, fingers tickling up and down the side of your arm as he does. “Now that we’re all officially dating, we do kind of need to christen it and all.”

“He’s not wrong,” Jason drawls, quirking a brow your way as he assesses your reaction. “Plus, we have the whole place to ourselves.”

You blink back at them, your boyfriends, innocently. “The sectional looks comfy,” you offer.

“Fuck, yeah,” Roy says, a wolfish grin spreading from freckled cheek to freckled cheek. “That’s hot.” He rubs his hands together greedily before he scoops you up and throws you over his shoulder. 

“Roy!” you yelp. You bat at his back half-heartedly as he gropes your ass all the way to the living room. 

It’s as if he hasn’t heard you because he continues on, “In front of those big ass windows too, you’re a fucking slut, aren’t you, baby?”

You shoot Jason, who’s trailing behind his- wait, your boyfriend, a deadpan stare. “A little help?” you try.

“Now,” the right side of Jason’s mouth quirks up cruelly, “what’d be the fun in that, babe?”

Fuck.

You’re so fucked.

You can’t help the pleased grin that spreads across your face as Roy deposits you on the cashmere soft leather couch. Jason sidles up next to him and they both gaze down at you like they can’t decide how they want to wreck you today.

You love it.

They share a devilish smirk before getting into position. Everyone is very much careful of battle wounds that remain even weeks later.

Jason stands over you, placing his hands on the newly replaced glass as he guides his hefty cock to the opening of your mouth. You feel his heat as his erection bobs up and down, teasing precome-like dewdrops across your lofty lips.  

At the same time, Roy maneuvers the cushioned leather ottoman right up to you so he doesn’t have to kneel on the ground. With length added to the couch, Roy’s now free to spread his knees and arch his ass as he leans down to eat you out, spreading your legs wide open as both support and leverage. 

The tip of Roy’s tongue teases along the crease of your lips, barely dipping deeper. When the tip finally breaches your wet heat, he fatly laps your entire cunt before teasing the top of your entrance. As he does, the arched middle section of his tongue teases your clit, not giving it nearly enough friction that you crave.

Jason suddenly turns around, one hand leaving the glass to get a better look as Roy expertly teases your wet cunt. The hand slowly trails up his scarred thighs as he gives his cock a few tugs. Roy’s emerald eyes blink open and immediately widen at the sight of Jason’s juicy ass.

Roy’s tongue is hypnotizing as it dips and flicks in all the right places. Roy pulls away from your cunt with a slurp, “I fuckin’ love Jay’s thighs, don’t you, baby?”

You lean forward slightly to pepper open-mouthed kisses along Jason’s thick thighs in lieu of a response, reveling in the way his breath hitches as you suck a hickey onto one. His dick twitches against your cheek and you can’t help but moan, deciding to leave more nice marks along his pale skin. You catch sight of Roy winking at Jason, then at you, before Jason shifts forward once again.

Your one hand holds onto the wild tresses of Roy’s hair like a lifeline as Jason guides his down your pliant throat.

His length slowly inches down your throat, giving you the delicious constriction you’ve been craving since the last time you’d fucked.

His thick, veiny cock slowly dips in and out of your mouth while your tongue trickles along the underside. Your lips catch against the head of his cock and suck lightly before flicking against his seeping slit. All the while, your eyes maintain eye contact with his searing emerald gaze.

Slowly he begins to fuck your throat deeper and deeper. Your eyes roll back in your head, struggling to take his thickness.

Roy finally circles around your clit. At the same time, Jason thrusts deep enough to draw tears from your eyes. You breathe out, your moan vibrating against Jason’s length. 

Speaking of vibrating, Roy’s finger increases the vibration speed on his prosthetic as the tip of the metal tickles as it hovers just above your clit. Your thighs keep, read: squish, Roy’s head in place as he continues to torment you with his skilled tongue. The ticklish thrum of an orgasm steadily sinks down into your lower stomach until you can no longer bear it.

Roy’s tongue flicks and laps you through the waves of pleasure that wrack your body. Jason, however, doesn’t slow his thrusts in the slightest. 

It’s exactly what you want. What you’ve craved.

You quickly become overly sensitive to Roy’s tongue and snap your thighs together, trapping his face in the process as you struggle away from his teasing. 

As soon as your legs stop trembling enough to part them again, Roy’s diving right back in. This time, instead of his tongue, he graces you with his leaking cock against your aching entrance. You’re still a bit sensitive, yet you can’t help but guide his tip further inside your tight heat.

He releases a shaky exhale and looks down at you with darkened eyes once he bottoms out. Roy shakes his head and fucking whimpers as he rests his forehead against your own. His orange hair tickles at your cheeks as your eyes search his lust-consumed ones.

“You’re so fucking wet, baby.” He shakes his head like he can’t believe it, leaving his cascading hair to trickle in its wake. “You want me to fuck your come into you, princess?” he asks through gritted teeth, as if it’s taking everything within himself to hold back from pounding into you. 

Jason pulls out of your throat shakily, panting as he allows you to respond.

“Only if you give me your come, too,” you respond, biting coquettishly at your bottom lip as you do. Both of them groan at the same time and you know you’ve said the right thing. 

You wiggle your hips downward to get more friction, but his firm, freckled hands on your hips stop you in your tracks. He seriously has the audacity to tease you when you’re already aching so badly for him. Roy’s tip barely breaches your slit, fucking into you with shallow, quick-paced thrusts that leave you crying out desperately for more.

“How bad do you want it?” Jason’s dark timbre sends your stomach flipping. He, however, doesn’t give you a chance to respond before he shoves his cock back into your tight mouth.

“Omph!” you startle around his length, though you quickly ease back into the fluid snaps of his hips. You only pull off to jack him off with your hand for a moment, spitting on the red tip of his cock before continuing your previous ministrations.

Jason removes one hand from the window to caress your cheek before smacking it lightly. You’re completely embarrassed by the needy whine you release in response.

You pull off Jason’s dick, panting as you do. 

“I want it so fucking bad, Roy,” you pant, eyes never once leave Jason’s darkened ones above you, all the while. “I want the both of you to fill all my little fuckholes and fuck me until I forget my name,” it comes out in a breathy rush, cut up between wanton moans, but they seem to get the point.

“Shit, baby,” Roy hisses. Meanwhile, you look between Jason’s thick thighs, watching as Roy’s cock enters further and further into your cunt with each thrust. “Our good girl has such a filthy little mouth, Jay.” 

“Should probably punish her then,” Jason says, flashing you a dark smirk. “Right, Roy?”

Your eyes widen, though your mouth opens expectantly for Jason to give you what you deserve. He groans at the sight of your open, fuckable mouth waiting for him. He smacks his heavy cock against your stinging cheek, smearing precome as he does before finally indulging by slipping between your sinful lips.

“One of us has to teach her a lesson,” he says. As if to prove his point, his soft hand comes down on your ass cheek. He delivers swift, painful pleasure that sends you reeling. 

“Fuck!" you cry out around Jason’s leaking dick. 

Jason grabs a fistful of your hair as your eyes go unfocused in pure ecstasy. “You take that shit,” he grunts out your name through gritted teeth. “Fucking cock slut. What are we going to do with you?”

At his words, Roy moans, hips sputtering as he finally gives you what you’ve been craving. He holds you down by your hip, placing his other hand on your lower stomach as he quickens his pace. 

“I can think of a few things,” comes Roy’s teasing response.

The pressure from Roy’s hands is in all the right places- places you’d never even known about until now.

With Roy fucking into you and Jason positioned standing over your torso, you’re completely filled.

Jason suddenly moans and stumbles a bit on the cushions. You break away from Jason’s face to see Roy’s face deep in Jason’s ass.

“Shit, Roy. A little warning,” Jason tries to sound annoyed, but with all his breathy moans, it’s easy to see through. 

Roy only eats Jason’s ass for mere seconds before Jason’s hand leaves the glass window, while the other tightens in your hair. He uses his grip to fuck your wet mouth with his cock as he rides out his orgasm.

“Coming all undone for our princess, Jay?” Roy’s thrusts are unrelenting, striking up against your g-spot with each snap of his hips.

When Jason’s hips are done twitching, he shakily reaches down to wipe stray come and spit that dribbles down from your swollen lips.

“Always,” Jason responds like a promise. He settles on your stomach, back to Roy, adding even more delicious pressure to the already steady building pressure Roy’s created. “Open,” Jason darkly demands.

You have no choice but to comply, making a show of the rest of his come you’ve collected. You visibly swallow as you accept his come-covered thumb, sucking the remaining seed from his finger lewdly with your eyes never once leaving his.

Before you can swallow again, Jason surges forward to capture your lips with his.

The kiss is sloppy, slightly salty with sweat and come and you can’t get enough. You let out a broken moan as wet noises take over the hum of the TV.

“I can’t,” you choke, breaking away, panting as you feel the eminent approach of another toe-curling orgasm. “Please, Roy!”

“Just like that,” Roy demands as his hips sputter. His voice is absolute velvet as he fucks you in all the right ways. “Beg for my cock just like that, princess.”

Jason goes between making out with you and whispering filthy things in your ear, loud enough for Roy to hear.

All the dirty talk is enough to send you and Roy over the edge at the same time. You feel his hot come filling every inch of your pussy and you grind against his dick one last time to make sure he’s giving it all to you.

Jason moves to slowly lap at your twitching cunt as soon as Roy pulls out. Jason makes a show of collecting the come that spills to your inner thighs. He gathers it all up into his mouth before spitting it into your already open one, “Swallow.” 

Your eyes widen owlishly, though you manage to follow his command, eyes flickering between your boyfriends as you do. You let out a pleased hum as your own come mixed with Roy’s trickles down your fucked throat.

Roy watches with a lazy smirk crawling across his freckled cheeks. “Such a good girl for us, aren’t you?” he praises gently.

Jason’s calloused fingers caress your jawline, turning your face to meet his head on for a toe-curling kiss. The fact that you know he can taste both of his lover’s come on his tongue only drives you crazier. You deepen the kiss, tickling your tongue against his until he guides it into his mouth with a teasing flick that draws a pleased sigh from you.

“Very good,” Jason agrees with a smirk as he pulls away, leaving you wrecked.

You relax back on the couch with a warm grin gracing your blushing face.

“Fuck, dude,” Roy groans as his naked body slumps beside you, “our sex game just reached a whole new level, Jay.” They then have the audacity to lazily high-five over your shallowly panting body. “Told you she was a freak,” he mutters cheekily with a playful nudge to your side.

“If you ever want to continue sticking your dick in me again, you might want to shut the fuck up, Harper.”

They both snicker.

“Fair enough, princess.”

•••

You’ve almost forgotten what normal life feels like, you know, without people constantly trying to murder you and shit.

Dick’s been off of patrol for the past few weeks, sporting a broken leg. This is Lian’s dream scenario, who requests the acrobat come over every other day.

Roy hadn’t been able to hold in your relationship for long, spewing about it to anyone and everyone who would listen.

It’s… cute.

“You know,” Dick hobbles over to the sectional, “you guys should get out of here, go on a date or something.” Jason makes to mention Lian, but Dick’s already waving him off. “I’ve got Lian, right babydoll?” 

She nods excitedly, motioning for him to turn around to braid his hair. It’s almost long enough to braid, just barely missing the mark.

Lian huffs, “Make your hair longer, Uncle Dick.”

“Uh,” he chuckles nervously, lightly pulling his shiny locks from her white-knuckled grip, “right on it, kiddo!” 

“Jay’s gotcha covered. He keeps a whole bunch of wigs stashed in our closet,” Roy teases and, much to Dick’s horror, continues on. “Just don’t go digging around in the boxes next to ‘em.”

“So wrong, Roy,” Dick mutters, shaking his head in disgust. “Seriously, so wrong on so many levels- I’m his brother,”Dick cuts himself off in the middle of whatever he’d been saying to exclaim the obvious. It’s as if Roy’s words alone are enough to make Dick puke at the very thought alone. If anything, Dick’s exaggerated response only adds to Roy’s shit-eating grin. “You know what?” he sounds plain exasperated now. “Just leave. Just go,” he closes his eyes with an annoyed sigh. When he opens them and the three are you are still standing there, he gives a deadpan glare before threatening, “Leave before I change my mind.” 

Jason seems to come to after the shock of Roy revealing their- your sex life to his brother. He rubs irritably at the space between his brows as if he now has a migraine. Avoiding Dick’s direction completely, Jason grabs both of your hands and hightails it to the car before Dick can make good on his threat.

“I can never look him in the eye again.” Jason glares at Roy. Roy, on the other hand, looks extremely pleased with himself. “You realize that, right?” Jason huffs in annoyance but still opens the car door for you. “Fuck you, Roy.” 

From the backseat, you wiggle across the front seat armrest to open both of their doors for them from inside. Neither seem to notice, however, as they’re both way too preoccupied with quarreling.

“I know, right?” Roy waggles his eyebrows obnoxiously. As he adjusts the rearview, he winks at you before asking, “Where to, gorgeous?”

•••

The diner is completely empty when you get there.

The jukebox loudly pounds out Tom Petty, nearly unbearably so, as the man leads you to a circular booth. It’s not your usual booth, but it sits right across from the one you’d originally sat at. This booth means you all get to sit next to and face each other at the same time.

They sit on either side of you, effectively squishing you with their muscular bodies.

It’s perfect.

You smile, beginning to absentmindedly kick your legs under the table in glee.

Same chipped flooring, same fake pies in the display, same big rip on your favorite booth. Everything’s the same, yet so different. 

Jason voices much of the same. 

“Different in a good way, though,” he clarifies as the waiter puts down your food and milkshakes. The waiter has barely turned around before Roy steals one of your fries and dips it in Jason’s milkshake. “Hey!” Jason protests.

“In the best way, Jay,” Roy responds through a mouthful of fries.

From underneath the tablecloth, both of their hands slowly trail up to the short hem of your skirt.

Jason’s calloused fingers reach your heat first, easily pushing aside the lace of your thong to run one of his thick fingers up and down the length of your slit. The touch is intoxicating, though not nearly giving you the friction your hips now desperately buck for.

Roy’s bionic hand secures around your thick thigh, holding you in place as Jason begins his torment. “Hold your moan,” Jason rumbles out your name as the server approaches.

“Everything looking good over here?”

“Really good,” Roy nods impishly as his verdant eyes lock mischievously onto yours. “Your food alright, princess?”

Jason chooses this moment to finally flick at your aching clit. 

You arch off the back of the booth, quickly coughing into your elbow to stifle your cry. “All good, yup,” you confirm weakly as Roy’s cool metal slips closer and closer to your leaking cunt.

The man’s eyes linger on you just a bit too long for Jason’s liking. You can hardly focus, though, with Roy’s bionic hand gently vibrating just above the hood of your clit.

Roy snorts at your boyfriend’s possessive behavior and gives the dude a thumbs-up with his free hand. It’s enough to have him stumbling away from your table, rambling and stuttering all the while. Though your server obviously knows what’s going on, Roy’s vibrations never falter in their teasing motions.

Once he’s out of earshot, you allow yourself to release the pent-up sigh that’s been lodged in your throat. “My fucking Magic Wand doesn’t even vibrate this fast, Roy,” it comes out a little breathier than you’d like, but you’re not in any position to complain. 

The longer Roy keeps teasing his fingers through your slick folds, the closer you are to coming.

“Shit,” he hisses and scoots close so your thighs are touching. “Shit, baby. Say my name just like that.” 

The jukebox blares out in time with your cries as Roy’s finger finally moves to directly stimulate your clit. Meanwhile, one of Jason’s slips inside your tight heat.

As you slink further down in the booth, Jason’s hands slip beneath the tablecloth to busy themselves with the provocative scene you’re putting on. He briefly searches around the restaurant before shoving his free hand down your bra to caress your tits. He glances up quickly again before shifting your top to expose them to the empty room.

“I think she’s actually getting off on this shit, Roy,” Jason’s dark timbre shakes every fiber of your vibrating being. “Like she’d let us fuck her right here and now in public.”

His words have your unfocused eyes rolling to the back of your head with a whine. 

You would.

That is… if you weren’t already seconds away from coming.

Roy chuckles lowly, abusing your clit all the while, “You like that, princess?”

You do.

“Fuck,” you curse. Your lower lip wobbles under their careful, teasing attention. Their every move is made to make you unravel until you’re nothing but a twitching mess sitting in the ruins of your arousal. “You’re both so good to me. I wanna come, please. Please, I want to come, JAY!”

Jason slips in a second finger that leaves you lewdly arching off the booth.

“Come.” His commandeering tone only further adds to your overstimulation.

You don’t care that you’re slightly drooling, only that you’re about to have one of the best orgasms of your life. Your hips snap forward, directly against Roy’s vibrating onslaught, until you have no choice but to come.

Your orgasm shakes your body with waves of fiery chills wracking your shaking body. Through it all, they continue their ministrations until you finally unleash the wanton moan, read: scream, you’ve been holding in.

By the time the food comes out, you’re all fully satiated and take it to go. Go, meaning you fuck in the minivan for another thirty minutes before going home to watch one of Jason’s favorite horror movies.

You easily slip into the remaining cracks in their life as if you were always meant to be here. The best part? You finally know it, too. There are no more doubts, no more confusion- only love.

It’s everything you’ve ever imagined. It’s the start of the new, the end of the old and all the beautiful moments in between. It’s everything you could have wanted and more.

It's truly a beginning, yet you can’t deny that the end is still somehow just out of sight. An insidious smoke still looms just below the surface, lying stagnant in wait for the perfect moment to bubble over and leak to the surface. 

A/N: ah! i can't believe it's over :( be sure to let me know what you think!!!

Here’s the Spotify link again!

3/3 giveaway in the works for may! check out this post for more info!

[end]  ||  masterlist ||  pinned || ways to support

[next in series]

[tainted-liquor]

do 15 year olds not have sex? that’s crazy oops didn’t know they didn’t…most I know did.

the thing about reading is that it’s not having any of the individuals preform, it’s an imaginative process where people can make their character who is a horrible villian nice to their significant other because it’s fucking FANON. they have changed the version of the character to make them older.

The whole point of having adults play younger people on screen is to avoid child labor laws despite a seventeen year olds passion being actor and all, they might want to do is be onset, they can’t all the time so they choose someone older. They also do this knowing what I said above. Fifteen year olds can and (some) do have sex, but to have one simulate that is wrong, of course.

Which is why miles is voiced by a grown adult, written by a grown adult and when aged up, acts like a grown adult bc he would be if characterized by.

Another thing is you probably (or most users I know both in my six years of being on this sight) have broken the rules of this fucking app by being on here too young, and now you are here dictating how people handle their own changed charactization of the character

15 year olds should not be having sex. glad I cleared that up. regardless of if he's played and voiced by an adult, he is not characterized as an adult. he's immature, his choices are led by emotions, and he's anxious and stays unfocused. hmmmm....its almost like...the prefrontal cortex, you know, the part of the brain that controls emotional response isn't developed yet! CUZ HE'S 15 LMFAOOAO, which is exactly the reason why aging him up doesn't work! you're attracted to the mannerisms, face, and thought process of someone underage! regardless! and 10/10 times, "aged up" miles all act like 15 year old miles, just with an apartment.

and no, that's not the point of having adults voice children. Monsters inc, boo was voiced by a child. gumball and darwin? voiced by children. Luca? VOICED. BY A CHILD. your argument is shit, and falls flat...at least do your research before you come in my inbox, cuz idk if you know, but I debate w law and science. I applaud you for coming into my inbox with one missing ball, for being on anon, pussy ass nigga, and for typing such a long essay defending reading smut about minors!

why do you think the russian novel "lolita" is banned in most countries? inappropriate depiction of children in sexual situations. if that booked managed to get itself BANNED, no matter how well written, a shitty tumblr writer with a 74 in english should not be allowed to publish nor induldge in sexual depictions of minors.

oh and btw, no i didn't. maybe the reason i'm more mature than some niggas on social media is because I was OFF social media until I was well after 13. I didnt join tumblr before 13. I didnt join instagram before 13. I didnt join tiktok before 13. don't try and use your experience w rule breaking to justify YOU being a weirdo, kay? <3 love ya toots !

[ladyintree]

i would love to hear about how you think tai and allie's first interaction post-rescue (if any) went

oh you know allie is one of my favorite tai topics! 

realistically, tai has no reason to really interact with allie at all post-rescue at all.  high school is over, and she's getting out of town as fast as possible.  she wants to move forward.  but honestly,  she would try to avoid it regardless anyway.

she will have complicated feelings about allie for the rest of her life.  i've said it before but i hate the fandom theory that tai was acting as other tai when she hurt allie,  because it devalues such a defining character moment for tai.   (  "you always win, anyway" / "why do you think i like to play?" )    she's going to do what she has to do to get what she wants,  and she's going to go too far,  and she's going to get people hurt,  and she's going to have to be left to deal with that.  after allie's hurt,  she's completely frozen in the locker room, refuses to make eye contact,  because she truly doesn't know if she meant to hurt her or not,  but the point is,  she was definitely in acting within her own agency.  and despite her own complicated feelings over what happened,  even when she's repeatedly called out on what she did to allie,  she does nothing to actually defend herself,  she only pushes it back on everyone else instead.  when she tells shauna that she didn't mean to, shauna says okay,  and tai just has to convince herself that shauna believes her, even if deep down, she knows she probably doesn't.  

if they had gone on to nationals, competed, and won like was her plan from the beginning,  i don’t think she would have considered allie much at all.  she does feel guilt for how horribly allie was hurt, but it’s more about knowing she was capable of that that fucked her up.  but they didn’t make it to nationals,  and the first night they’re stuck in the wilderness,  mari reminds her of what she did —- “i guess you did allie a favor.”  and that’s what sticks with tai forever.  that’s what forces her to face what she did for, realistically, nothing.  and it’s interesting that this happens nearly the same time they’re all talking about what they could have done wrong to put them in this situation — - and hurting allie, in exchange for the best prepared teams for nationals, only for her to crash and get stuck in the wilderness and allie to theoretically be safe back at home is exactly the kind of karma they’re discussing.  and of course tai doesn’t believe in that shit — except now mari is forcing her to think about it.  and now she can’t stop thinking about that.  

obviously at some point, they are just so far removed from what they left back in civilization.  when tai thinks about it, her focus is more on where she’s supposed to be going, not what she left behind.  she’s focused on wanting to move on with her life and how she’s missing out on college, etc.  she’s not letting herself think about allie because, again, if they’d made it to nationals, it wouldn’t have mattered in the end — she could justify it to herself by having done what she needed to do in their final year while allie still had the rest of her high school soccer career to make her own mark.  but she hurt a girl to get here, and then she ultimately ended up worse than allie, doesn’t even know if she’ll make it out with her own life, so really, what did she hurt allie for?  was it really worth it?  is this her karma?  is allie resentful, or relieved?  is she grateful for what tai did now, or is she still rightfully upset?  what is allie telling people about tai,  is this the name being made of her in her absence?  so many things going through tai’s head about it.  and also,  so many things that are becoming so far irrelevant out there because it’s hard to even really think about the people they left behind,  not knowing if they’ll ever make it back.  hardly even feeling like they’re real anymore.

and as time goes on, they get more comfortable with violence.  violence is clearly becoming their own language at the end of season 2, and they have to be comfortable with it.  in some ways — tai watching javi die when they could’ve saved him just so they can eat isn’t all that different from her taking down allie when she could’ve found other ways to actually help her,  just so she could secure their best team for finals.  and maybe tai realizes that.  and maybe what happens with javi and everyone else that dies after him helps tai justify what she did to allie on a personal level — it’s about survival and it’s about doing what they have to do to win.  “do whatever it takes to survive” is just a new level of “do what it takes to win.”  so as violence becomes second nature out there,  she can’t hold onto what what did to allie anymore.  that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still cross her mind —- if she’s capable of this violence out there, then she knows she was likely capable of that violence back there, too.  

as an adult, we see tai revert back to that same annoyance she felt for allie before the crash, mostly because of the way allie seems to thrive off of what happened to them versus the way tai has to work in overtime to bury it all.  but in the wilderness, every so often, allie crosses her mind, and she doesn’t bring it up to anyone, because she wouldn’t even know how to talk about her. wonders if her team still resents her for what she did to her, wonders if allie is okay / if she forgives her considering the circumstances, wonders if she’ll ever see her again. not to apologize, because she wouldn’t know how to do that, either, but allie is the face she sees when she thinks about home, more often than not, her own haunting.  and what she did to allie,  in a strange way,  makes her stronger out there.  and it makes her resentful as an adult,  because now she’s associated hurting allie with the inevitable, brutal violence out there — that same violence she’s trying to repress, so being face to face with allie is just worse.

so to actually answer your question now — she would avoid allie.  because if she were to see allie soon after she was rescued,  it would be so complicated and so hard for her to process that she wouldn’t even know how to respond.  even when we see her 25 years later rolling her eyes at allie at the reunion, that took years for her to really get to that place.  

but what is she supposed to say to allie after everything she just experienced?  tai does everything she can to avoid responsibility when she knows she’s done something wrong  ( even to those she loves.  she knows what happened to v.an was her fault but there’s a reason she only mentions that to someone else rather than trying to apologize to her.  )  if allie was looking for an apology,  tai would not know how to give it.  she’s done so much worse to other people at this point that it would feel silly to her, even though allie would still deserve it.  if allie was looking for some kind of friendship to mend things between them,  it would not matter to tai,  because she’s moving on   ( and, without even realizing it, she’s associating allie with so many of those worse things she’s done. )  she would just have such an uncomfortable reaction to being around allie again and it would be way too complicated to unpack,  and tai is focused on moving on,  so she won’t dwell.  she doesn’t apologize, she doesn’t tell her anything.  when she sees allie, she can only treat her like a former teammate she’ll never see again, because that’s all she needs her to be,  despite all the turmoil going on in her own head about it.  she can’t falter to allie now, after everything.  she won’t let herself.

and as an adult, we see her rolling her eyes in annoyance about allie — but to her face, she isn’t ever interacting with her directly.  mostly, she’s acting like she barely remembers her, but of course she does.  she just can’t let it matter to her anymore,  because hurting allie is the last worst thing she did before her entire life flipped upside down and turned her into something even worse.  that is her last sense of ‘normalcy’ and it led her right into what she became after that.  

[corazon-calaveras]

Late Night Thoughts

Okay so..............

The coffin of Andy and Leyley. Where do I even begin?

It's a very good game I'll admit that and I'll give credit where credit is due. The game has a very simplistic but cool art style which makes it very recognizable to the fans of the game or at least those who have either played it or seen playthroughs of it. The overall story telling and pace is very well done and it certainly has kept me intrigued. I tend to have a soft spot for plots that contain edgy and dark themes to it (so long as it is written really well and not overdone) and this game seems to have done a good job of not overdoing it.

Now then, on with some issues I personally have with a certain aspect that has definitely left a sour taste in my mouth (and not in a good way considering I love sour candy and what not).

(Just a heads up, I'm not saying that the topic I'm about to talk about can't be used in stories, in fact this topic has done a really good job to make me feel bad for Andrew but at the same time be like "Dude, are you dumb?!". The incest aspect of their relationship is actually written well because it's done one hell of a good job to make me feel uncomfortable as fuck and I hate it. Now do I support incest? Absolutely fucking not, that shit is hella disgusting and I DO NOT condone that shit.)

On to the rant.

The major issue I have about the story of the game is the overall relationship Andrew and Ashley have and of course it's the incest aspect of the relationship. But that's obviously a very obvious topic that a lot of people would not be a fan of (unfortunately there are some creeps out there who ship the two regardless). Let's set the incest aside for a moment and discuss the main issue of the Grave sibling's (that's their last name, right?) relationship and that is how very toxic and abusive it actually is.

In the first episode of the game we see that Ashley has a very unhealthy obsession with her brother and although there's nothing wrong with having a fondness of your sibling, Ashley just takes that fondness to the EXTREME. We see that she gets overly jealous whenever Andrew remotely gives another girl attention and would do anything to get them away from Andrew as we could see in the game. I mean c'mon, she not only committed manslaughter (straight up murder actually) she also consistently harassed Andrew's girlfriend until she dumped him. But oh, that's not the only horrible things she's done to Andrew. Ashley would straight up emotionally manipulate him into doing all the dirty work only for her to later on be like "I didn't tell you to do it, you CHOSE to do it yourself." Miss girl don't lie, we all know you literally manipulated him into doing it to appease you only to later have the AUDACITY to gaslight him.

Now I won't go too hard on Andrew considering that he's the victim in all of this but there are times when he literally could have put an end to Ashley's abusive behavior and stand up to her, but seeing him try to do so only to fall back to being submissive made me feel sorry for the guy. However, things would get even weirder with him when he asked his girlfriend to tie her hair up so she could resemble Ashley a little more which uh.....HELLO??? Nah nah nah, you wrong for that one Andrew. I'm sure there's a few other things he's done that's equally as weird as Ashley but so far that's the one example I can think of at the moment. Oh wait, there's that one official art of Ashley just sitting on Andrew's lap with a bitemark on her shoulder while he's lighting a cigarette and has a hand up her thigh as if it was completely normal. *Sighs* Sweet home Alabama.

I know there are people out there who will say things like: "But the game literally has cannibalism and murder but you draw the line at incest? That makes no sense!" Um, no not really. It's literally in our nature to find incest disgusting considering how the offspring will come out with a lot of issues and thus will not survive out in the world. Yes I'm aware that royalties in the olden days literally married their distant cousins to not "taint" the bloodline and I say that those people are equally as weird as the ones who ship Ashley and Andrew. As for the cannibalism part, yes it's also disgusting but if you think about it it makes a lot of sense that someone would resort to it if it's for survival, a last resort if you will. Incest? Now how the fuck is that going to benefit human survival? Last I checked no one has ever done the dirty with their own family members to survive.

Alright, and I think that concludes my rant for tonight. I just felt like ranting about the Grave sibling's relationship because I literally have no one else to talk to about this and I do find the topic interesting.........very disturbing though.

Eugh, gross.

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey! I was hoping u could give me some advice.

So I’ve written a bunch of really important exams and I’ve really messed them up. Like left a good number of questions and failing these have serious consequences.

Im trying to maintain the state of having passed regardless of what the 3d shows me, but it’s kinda hard since everything and everyone around me is telling me otherwise and it’s kinda difficult to fulfill it in my imagination. Pls tell me how I can sail through this and get the marks I want?

Ok embarrassing story alert 🙃🙃

My freshmen year of college, I had all As, and then two horrible things happened the very last second.

The first thing that happened is while doing my vocabulary essays for history, I accidentally plagiarized one of my old assignments for something very similar. In college wether on accident or on purpose, and wether it’s to yourself or copying someone else’s work, plagiarizing is a huge no no, and can get you not only a failed class, but expelled from college. I live in America so we spend 10-25k per semester on school and expulsion is permanently on your record which affects your entry to other colleges. I got an email saying I had a board meeting with the council, and I about just spent 5 minutes doing the worst ugly crying I have ever done, while having a panic attack. I already have an anxiety disorder and this just about sent me into a clinical spiral. Then I remember manifesting and even through my ugly tears I just fell asleep affirming everything will be okay, everything will be okay. I had the board meeting and nothing happened to me?? It was almost like they forgot what I was there for. They just made me take an hour long anonymous class on plagiarism and that was all. It wasn’t on my record and I still got an A in the class 🥰🥰.

During my second semester again!! I had all As. In one of my classes in fact my highest grade class I had a 98% and we had an final essay due. two days prior I got sick as a dog!! I was asleep for 48 hours and missed the deadline for a 200 point essay! That’s right I got a fucking 0/200 On the assignment and when I emailed her explaining I was sick she just told me tough luck!! I Went from a 98% to a 68% because she made it worth 40% of our grade. She was also my only teacher who had a strict no late policy even if you’re almost dying (bastard!!) it was the worst luck and chance that it was this specific class. I ugly cried even harder than the first situation and I was sick too so it made it all that much worse !!!!

anyways I decided crying wasn’t going to do shit and I can solve this crisis just because I can and I don’t deserve to fail because of a sick mistake !! I had recently learned about revision so once again while ugly crying I just affirmed I have an A, I have an A, I have an A, and visualized her putting in a 100% in my grading portal until I fell asleep. Once again I woke up with a 200/200 even though I didn’t even submit the essay ???!!!!!

I don’t know if my desperation and crying heightened my affirmations or what but the easiest times I had with revision was my during my most desperate moments . I guess my advice to you is to just visualize yourself not missing those questions, and feeling slay after talking the test in your mind !then affirm to yourself you blew the test out of the waters (good way) and go to bed at ease because you’re going to be okay 🥰

[usercookie2008]

Yk there's a reason why I block, called keeping a sense of mind and oh yk a kindly STOP INTERACTING, I chose my path and you're going down your's

I blocked you all across Every platform for a reason, give us both a piece of mind cause I knew you'd fucking react that way, I probably missed a couple of you and I know that but I'm not going to waste my energy talking, There was that chance but honestly fucking good riddance You unknowingly Drove me further apart from you guys, You're fucking assholes whether you wanna believe that or not and I feel a hundred times better away from you guys than I ever did trying to fit into that little group of yours, like wow I really felt welcome there even before I actually even started thinking about it.

Edit: ( Except you Arr, you were actually nice, I'm sorry that I cut you off like that but yk I doubt you'd want to be associated with me anymore too, saved us both a Painful Conversation)

You claimed to be my friend and flattered me with your words but still in the end you hardly ever Included me even when I tried so hard to include everyone and make them feel welcome, but fucking no one else did for me so I left!

And yk first time I left wasn't because of me being Proship', no It was because you ALL made me feel I wasn't welcome and constantly belittled me I mean who the fuck calls someone a "Devils advocate" (yes I'm still fucking salty about it) When someone's just trying to actually ask Clarifying Questions??? I wasn't trying to start shit I was actually trying to have a fucking conversation

Second and when I actually left was because then I chose to be a welcoming space fuckin regardless of what type of fiction, I do Not I REPEAT DO NOT ENDORSE THESE IRL, NOR WILL I EVER. But yk I'm not going to be apart of a Group who'll actively Dox, Harass, Threaten, and say absolutely fucking horrible things to people just because their taste in FICTION is darker than yours or Different in a way you don't like.

Antis will Never be welcome in my space, regardless if you 'like my work' or whatever

I don't even care if you're an "Anti who doesn't do that"

The moment you put that Antiship, Anti, Fucking whatever in your Bio, You're actively advocating Bullying and harassment and you are not welcome here.

Now if you don't fucking mind I'm going to continue on my Tuesday and continue to pretend you don't exist, because to me, you really don't anymore.

I'm going to go calm down cause fucking- take a hint. Just fucking take a hint and Leave. Don't try to persuade me, don't. Just fucking don't.

[vatican3]

i think terzo and jim are two sides of the same coin. whether it was intentional or not (bc who knows w tobias & im not one to read into the small things and take it as intentional), they have a lot of similarities. but whereas jim is completely genuine, terzo does a lot of what she does to make up for her low self confidence. i dont know if theyd be friends, or if theyd hate each other, but i dont think theyd be on neutral ground given that they are. so similar but so different at the same time.

I want to say I'm not one to read into things too much but 1) that's a lie and 2) everything following this would disprove that so, whatever. On some level I'm with you but I still think dividing them like that in any way is kind of missing the point I was making in the first place. The concept of, like, Jim being completely genuine and organic in his choices versus Terzo being a sadgirl that's doing it to make up for her lack of self esteem feels. Weird. Because,

I don't understand the softening of Terzo (all of them, really, but I think Terzo gets it the worst because people tend to like him). There's this weird and prominent fandomized idea that Papa & Co are The Good Guys, I don't know where it came from and it's really bizarre to me. They are all terrible and maladjusted and this felt like something that was naturally established. And people recently(?) deciding to moralize the whole ordeal is doing a disservice to the fiction.

You don't end up The Way Jim Is if you are a particularly well-adjusted and stable person. So if you're going to be like "Well Terzo's being a piece of shit because her brain is fucked up." is like, okay. That argument has to go for Jim then too, that is actually generally true of most people doing fucked up things. Rare is it that anyone wakes up and just decides to be horrible.

Anyway yeah people in my notes have pointed out the parallel vibes between the Jesus He Knows Me video and the He Is video and I stand by my original statement that they would either be buddies or kill each other but regardless it's because they're fucked up in the same ways.

[skybristle]

Spider Lily lore go

hmmm you see thats a bit Much for 2 reasons: 1] spider lily is a 'folk tale' esque character, in fact, they were made because my close friend drake came up to me with them as ,,, folk characters as an explanation for a phenomena [in their case, the cosmic void, which is more of a Their fanon thing, in mine more generally black magic and specifically the licorice sea]. flor [and flors partner, sea angel] lived MILLENIA ago. and 2] while a complicated character spider lily is a smidge underdeveloped ,,, unforunately sea angel is just easier to put lore together with due to her direct ties to starfruit dragon. so. ill give you what i can!

so, as a premtive, a big part of my fanon was the first war of cookiekind. how it was started didn't really matter, besides it was somewhere up north where the cacao kingdom is today, but it escalated because the war god strawberry jam spirit was created from the blood shed, and millenials attempt to calm things down by sealing them in a sword uhm. Just made everyone fight over the cool epic god sword since the alliances and trade had already collapsed into a mess of fighting at this point. huh,,,, a cursed blood sword that compells anyone carrying it into a brutish monster,,, that sounds familiar! hope that isn't important later!

spider lily was from the lily villiage, but is a mage practicing blood and black magic [+ some floral magic, and maybe a bit stolen from millenial tree's roots]. Keep in mind magic does not have morality in my fanon and the whole 'blood magic' thing isn't really bad either [spider lily mainly just hurts. themself.] but like regardless they're kinda like Jesus Christ! and kick flor out.

so flor is just kinda chilling and wandering. maybe doing some shady shit but hey war mages are high in demand and with tons of blood and agony just *laying around*, spider lily is quite the threat.

insert sea angel, who is having a whole messed up religious and devotion complex and also really really overwhelmed with being The Chosen One and goes ok! I'll slay this mage to prove myself! and OOPS! All homoerotic battle that ends in them making out.

their relationship is actually very long-lasting, and ends up being very deep and passionate, all in the hellzone they're in thats really just the 'who of the week has the sword'. eventually, as their 'marriage', they swear oaths to eachother. spider lily binds them by blood, sea angel with a dragontounge oath, to share heart, mind, soul, and, the one which is going to ruin them, magic.

and. uhm. Yeah one of them falls in battle. Which leads to the other trying to save them, which is, unsurprisngly, disasterous. Taking more and more out of the fold of magic and power to get sucked into the magic loop, which,,, eventually collapses itno the licorice sea. This *basically* kills them, but their souls are entrapped in it forever as its twisted 'ruler' [this is void heart, that fucked up little lineless drawing i did a bit ago. It is Both of them <3 they are in agony <3].

their story is more abt the ramifications it has on the rest of my fanon. primarily, it gets an observer, wisteria, a powerful war mage on her own right, to finally realize how dumb and pointless this all is and going after the sword to seal it [eventually earning herself godhood and setting into motion a Ton of plot elements], starfruit dragon, wracked by even more guilt and regret, goes into a completely sleeping state that lets their magic leech out badly enough that in the modern republic people are getting light magic infestations with horrible consequences, and, slightly post-canon, void heart is 'killed' [their souls are set free] by dark roast when he's like "damn i miss my kids [latte and espresso] i'm going to become a god about it" and he fucking DOES.

[crownedmango]

Jay and Silent Bob Headcannons

Figured I’d finally post these here, Probably super unoriginal but shhh

—————————

•Silent Bob is cannonically Gay! As for other things, I think it’s the usual cis male with He/Him pronouns and all that jazz- but he’s slaying regardless

•As for Jay, I’m not sure what his actual confirmed orientation is, but I believe he’s pansexual with a heavy lean towards males/masc presenting (and has definetly struggled with that part of him-)! He probably uses He/They pronouns too- look at him- GNC lookin’ motherfucker

•They sell a shit ton of weed during the pride parades they go to! They adore the events and do practically every activity available to them. Their best seller is the joints rolled in rainbow papers and the multicolored weed inside. They will also beat the ever loving fuck out of cops and assholes trying to cause problems - Somehow they never get hurt during this… probably because someone above is watching them do it with a warm smile on her face

•Jay Doodles, a LOT - All while Silent Bob was using his creativity to be an engineering and tech genius, Jay was focusing on his music and art. The two obviously didn’t go into any job fields, but they still very much have these skills refined. Jay mostly shows his talent off with his constant singing and dancing, but from time to time he’ll get out a sketchbook and pencil and start doodling whatever comes to mind… We’ll just say it’s mostly Silent Bob he draws, he is his muse after all!

•Jay is a loud mouth and Silent Bob is- well- Silent, obviously- but regardless, they sometimes switch these roles and Jay is actually a way better listener than most people think. Silent Bob only ever really talks when he needs to, is telling his Chasing Amy tale, or when it’s just him and Jay and he feels safe

•Jay collects a lot of trinkets. Shiny things, Nerdy stuff, whatever people decide to try and trade in for weed- things like that, and Silent Bob is more than happy to keep it safe in that trench coat of his until they get back to the apartment

•Speaking of said Trench Coat, Jay will hide himself against Silent Bob and keep himself tucked away in said coat and against the other, especially if it’s too cold out. Jay’s gone “missing” on occasion because of this

•You’ve never seen PDA before until you’ve seen these bitches. Yeah normally they’re just standing around, goofing off, but they also end up very handsy with one one another, holding hands, holding one another, kisses, the whole shabang! Anyone interrupts them while it’s happening and they’ll simply gaslight you into believing otherwise or just act like nothing happened

•Silent Bob actually works out quite a bit, so he’s more-so muscle than he is fat, though he’s still got quite a bit of chub - and Jay goes crazy for it despite the more-so “mean” nicknames. Jay always sits and politely (ferally- actually-) watches the other work out - Jay acts as a hype man the whole time and is in charge of the tunes that play

•Jay has a horrible habit of Stealing Silent Bob's shirts to wear around the house on lazy days to the point most of Silent Bob’s wardrobe is in Jays room, and he has to always go in and take all his stuff back

•As mentioned before they’re totally cool with PDA, but sometimes they have to be more discrete due to just how the people around them act and feel about it, so something Silent Bob likes to do is light Jays joints with his Cigarette, and Jay goes crazy for it every single time

•They totally shotgun their joints too

•The only person whose opinions Jay cares about is Silent Bobs, everyone else is practically white noise to him, and he always brushes them off or quips back with something brutal. When Silent Bob has something negative to tell him, gets angry or annoyed with him, anything of the sort, Jay feels like he’s shattered into a million pieces, and it takes him a moment to recollect himself again, and he always goes unnaturally quiet for a while, but the two always have an eventual heart to heart about it, and things are quick to be patched up and worked on. Silent Bob rarely does get upset at Jay though, playfully annoyed at most, as being with the blonde every second of everyday he’s learned extreme patience for the other - especially since Jays mouth always moves faster than his brain 90% of the time

•They always take care of each others hair given how long they have it, however Jay’s usually needs higher maintenance given how blonde and long it is and god knows that man couldn't sit still long enough to take care of it himself (Some Days Silent Bob practically has to wrangle the other in long enough for him enough to even brush it)

•Jay’s very sensitive on the scalp and ears, and people have a terrible habit of trying to feel his hair without asking due to its general length, Softness, and almost impossible golden color, so he constantly makes sure he’s wearing his beanies (he feels naked without them regardless of the touchy problem). The only time he lets someone touch those areas is of course Silent Bob, who always gently works his fingers through the other’s hair and knows just exactly what causes the other to practically melt and purr from the sensation

•Silent Bob and Jay actually both know ASL since Silent Bob is a selective mute, but Silent Bob tends to play charades or use his phone for emojis cause he thinks it’s funnier to make everyone guess

•They slow dance with one another quite a lot - It was one of the few things that caught Jays attention when he’d sit and endure those “stupid romancey chick flicks” that Silent Bob liked to watch, and he had instantly clung onto the idea.. now it’s just something they do every now and again

•Usually Silent Bob does all the fighting on behalf of Jay, since the loud mouth is prone to getting himself into a handful of situations - a lot of the situations are mind blowing on how he even managed to get himself there - and Silent Bob is his muscle anyways, so it’s expected by most. Silent Bob usually can step in and swing before anything can even happen to Jay, but if the blonde gets hurt to any degree it’s like something snaps in Silent Bob, and he becomes an immovable force, a powerhouse, A- well- you get it, he gets scary.. he managed to effortlessly toss two angels out of a moving train after all. Jay always swoons when watching the other fight for him, practically sends tingles down his spine every time

•They go on double dates with Dante and Randal from time to time, and by God it is always an experience, the two chatter boxes that are Jay and Randal, are constantly going back and forth about whatever comic, movie or insane train of thought they managed to land on the entire time, while Silent Bob and Dante sit quietly and listen to the other two, they exchange unspoken words from time to time, Dante always breaking his silence however to scold Randal or defend himself from whatever insane “fact” Randal had spouted out, which then causes the two to go on and on about whatever it had been while Jay and Silent Bob sit and laugh at the bickering couple. It’s always a nice time though, they’ve all become better friends over time and they’re like an odd little family

•Their wedding wasn’t all that much really, a simple little party with their friends, Dante and Randal the best men obviously - and of course, God herself there to officiate the wedding.. The Metatron did most of the talking though. Their rings are simple golden bands with eachothers names engraved on the inner part of the rings, most of the time they keep them somewhere else like in a pocket or around their neck, or leave them at home, they say it’s because they don’t want to risk losing them, but really they know how harassed they’d constantly be harassed by the “redneck inbred fuckheads” that come around

•It’s VERY easy for Jay to get sick in the winter, and when that happens, Silent Bob has to practically tie the man down to the bed because the blonde simply refuses to actually lay in bed and rest, always wanting to get up and do something. Once Jay knows he can’t escape the others mother henning behaviour, he gets fucking whiney.