#like this is coming from someone who has had issues with being defensive that ive worked on a lot

[meteorherd]

society if people understood that “i have a differing opinion or extra information to tell you that may inform your opinion” doesnt mean “i need you to defend your opinion with your life because i obviously think you are stupid and inferior for having it”

[allthegothihopgirls]

just finished reading death in the family properly and. whoo the racist undertones are racist undertoning. but uh. wanted to say that i cannot understand why people hated jason back then because like. he’s just a kid. he’s a KID. shaking 80s fans by the shoulders he’s a CHILD. he’s not gonna be a mature adult he’s gonna be a little weird and a little annoying even!! but he is a KID.

also wanted to ask your opinions on the jason has chronic pain headcanon? i personally as someone w chronic pain really enjoy it because it makes sense and i am a firm believer that we need more representation of invisible disabilities like some chronic pain is (and mine is) but ive heard a few people say they don’t like it

— baptism anon

right?? like yeah i think jason dying was the most beneficial thing to ever happen to his character, and he also had next-to-no defining traits as robin apart from being a dick grayson carbon-copy + replacement... but i don't get why people hated him.

~

jason w/ chronic pain!!!!!! oh boy i have feelings about him... i LOVE.

especially when it's death-induced.. a bit like phantom feeling/pain, but instead it is. very. real. like, he has chronic joint pain in places where joker hit him a few too many times etc. personally i reject the 'lazarus pit made him squeaky clean' canon, so on top of him keeping all his scars, and being more frankenstein than man.. chronic pain fits in very well.

i also definitely enjoy headcanons of him with chronic migraines.. not because i'm projecting.

i think it's a pretty agreed-upon headcanon that jason isn't a fan of medication in the slightest, due to his mother's death (only making exceptions when he's sustained more than a minor injury on patrol or a mission and is being tended to).

so i propose, stubborn jason w/ chronic migraines, who will never admit to needing actual medication. obviously he isn't going to be stupid about it, he won't patrol if it's too bad, and maybe tries to ward it off with some regular ibuprofen. but he is so against being properly medicated for prevention or treatment, and gets super defensive if dick or bruce suggest it to him.

he's always in varying levels of head hurt™ and just. lives with it. in the comfort of his own apartment he's definitely not a stranger to herbal teas and heat packs though.. however at the same time he's 100% beating himself up whenever he can't just power through.

i don't think he'd actively tell anyone either. dick figures it out from the way he'll rub at his temples post-patrol, or maybe a couple of unclosed search tabs on a computer 'whydoesmyheadalwayshurt' or 'home remedies: how to naturally prevent migraines'

for bruce finding out i have a bit more of a developed idea. jason's gone out patrolling with a migraine, against his better judgement. he's on comms with bruce, who's getting his assistance on a case he's been tracking. seemingly out of nowhere he hisses a little in pain, and bruce is asking what's wrong.

jason grows defensive quickly and spurts out a routine "imfinedontworry" but was apparently not convincing enough because before he knows it bruce is asking "status?" ..and he swears there's a microchip in him somewhere that forces him to give a truthful answer, because it's not like he wants to tell bruce his head's hurting, because that's just plain embarrassing. he doesn't want people thinking that he can't handle pain that miniscule.

between that and the other times he's been asked "red hood, report" and stated his condition, adding on a "head hurts a bit too, but that's just normal".. it wasn't difficult for bruce to suspect something unusual.

moving away from migraines, i think he also experiences chronic joint pain. compared to the previously mentioned, it's easier to play joint pain off as 'normal' and convince himself there's no cause for concern. he's 100% in denial of having an actual issue, which i'd like to think somewhat comes from bruce experiencing the exact same thing, and jason watching him absolutely refuse to admit any weakness it causes him.

he ends up believing it's just something that happens to everyone (well, at least everyone who dresses up and fights crime on the regular). jason's confused when dick's asking him if he wants to stick around for a chat post-patrol, because is dick not also desperate to go home, ice his joints, and spend time doing stretches to ease his pain before finally getting some sleep?????

i don't think he'd realise that it isn't a normal thing until he's called out on it. maybe he makes an off-comment about 'never feeling 75%, let alone 100%' comfort-wise, and damian remarks how that is. an issue. jason's instantly defending himself "yeah well that's just what happens when you've been in the business for this long-" and dick chimes in to point out that he doesn't feel like that. from there i think he goes to an even larger effort to hide any pain he's in.

big believer in jason being a cane user too. i think babs is the one who convinces him to start using one, after the events of this panel ↓ ↓ ↓ 

you cannot tell me that she's letting that comment slide: "that book looked... useful" plus "i don't think i've ever been okay", ok jason mr 'i really resonated with this and now i'm having revelations' todd.

she's 100% sitting his ass down for a real talk about whatever he has going on.

and i think afterwards, babs suggests that he really considers mobility aids. to which i think he ends up being very accidentally ableist, in the 'but those are for old people' way. it takes... a lot to reverse his somewhat internalised ableism, and get him to at least try a mobility aid out.

he grows less opposed to it as he realises that it's not something he's obligated to use all the time, and that it works. so he uses a cane around his apartment, and around the manor when he gets to be confident enough (he's a bit worried of people asking questions, but no one even bats an eye, because it just makes sense).

i have a whole other set of thoughts about the batfamily + how they go about jason using a cane... but i think i've gone on for long enough.. my apologies

in conclusion... chronic pain!jason todd is a HUGE headcanon of mine. love it a lot.

[fduck0]

As someone who never stops thinking abt Wendy and Abigail, I've always seen Wendy's rework animation as less of a hallucination and more as a simple but effective rundown over Wendy's struggle with her grief through how she remembers Abigail's death. Most notably, I believe the last bit with the bush is either a slightly older memory stitched in or deliberate misremembering as a defense mechanism of sorts. My main reason for thinking this is partially cause yeah no that just didn't happen, but also because to me it makes the previous moments hit so much harder because of the harsh contrast between Wendy's attitude towards Abigail in the two scenes. In the previous, she's dismissive, and has to be dragged away from her books, and is clearly much more reluctant about doing things than Abigail. And in the next scene, Wendy is smiling, laughing, and playing with Abigail. This actually fits quite well with Wendy's dialogue too, but that's besides the point. And with the ending bit, I see it as a basic snap to reality from a deep daydream. Also, one detail I love is how Jack does look concerned for Wendy and briefly tries to reach for her before giving up, which just is soooo good like a big part of Wendy's hashtag issues was not just losing Abby, but also seemingly having very little support after that loss. In general, a lot of Wendy's messy and sometimes contradictory statements and actions are incredibly easily explained by the fact that she's a traumatized and grieving child who in no way has the tools to healthily cope with her emotions and very little support even outside of that. This is why Wendy makes me want to start biting things and why that's my favorite don't start animation 👍

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THIS PERSON GETS IT.

Tbh while ive never thought ab Wendys animation like that, that is SUCH a good fucking take on it and tbh PRETTY GOD DAMN FITTING to wendys rapid change of emotions in the animation. and with this i have to say, YESSSS SOMEONE IS FINALLY POINTING OUT THE JACK THING.

I feel like a lot of Wendys fear of letting go of Abigail comes from this. Its like a god damn tragedy cycle. feel alone without Abigail- get no support from family- feel more alone and abandoned- cling to the fact Abigail WOULD have been the support and form an unhealthy coping mechanism around it- grow MORE dependent on her and restart. It is essentially what makes her SO god damn afraid and i feel like this quote from her forge vignette puts it best "Wendy clings fiercely to the grief over her sister's death, for fear that moving on would cause Abigail's memory to fade."

With the lack of support from her family and being "left behind", Wendy most probably feels to some extent she is the ONLY one trying to keep Abigail's memory alive. Abigail is the ONLY one she has ever had.

And with this last thing, another YES. A lot of Wendys contradictions can be boiled down to her conflicted and jumbled emotions as a child trying to cope and her fears getting the best of her. Wendy doesnt HATE colours, Wendy hates what memories those colours bring back and the cheerfulness she doesnt feel anymore. it is all a mockery to her grief, but there is STILL a part of her that longs for that part of her childhood back, which leads to a lot of the conflicted quotes as a kid who doesnt know what she wants anymore.

But yeah, we going off again bc WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH Wendy lore is both so cool and complicated and idk how to write down my opinions so they just come out in rambles but like YEAH Keese you are so fucking right

[cirque-dhomosexual]

!!! Wednesday spoilers !!!!

Ive had this post in my drafts for too long 💀💀💀 but I've finally gotten the energy to complete it so without further adue: Reasons why I think Enid Sinclair is a coded lesbian dealing with comphet:

Her biggest fear is dying alone and having no prospects at finding a mate and will throw herself into the person giving the attention because she thinks that's the last chance she has at it

This one is pretty self explanatory. As a kid with terrible self-esteem and confidence issues, it's easy to both feel unlovable and throw yourself entirely into someone you think will love you. For me, this was an issue back when I was still grappling with my sexuality. So I know what it's like to just run head first into the first person, especially boy, that gives you a crumb of attention. Her need to be with a boy could be a result in internalized homophobia and what she was told growing up.

Her crush on Ajax even though they have never had a meaningful interaction

First of all, she didn't seem to be all that interested in Ajax when she introduced him to Wednesday. Second of all, that's a very common experience amongst lesbians. She just plucked a boy out of the blue, a boy she can tolerate, and decides to have a crush on him despite never actually interacting.

Her inability to fully transform and her mom not "accepting her for who she really is" and sending her to "conversion therapy"

Taking this apart piece by piece, we know two things. One, she is forced to live up to society's expectations despite being "slightly off". Lycanthropy is a longstanding metaphor for queerness and I don't see why it would change for Enid. Two, this reads so much as a queer narrative. If you switch the context from wolfing out to coming out it retains the same level of sense. The meaning doesn't even change.

The way her nails pop out when she's kissing Ajax

You may argue that they could have popped out because she was feeling overwhelmed with happiness or something but the show has shown, consistently might I add, that Enid's claws pop out when she's in distress/not at all happy. They didn't pop out when she was happy about winning the poe cup. It's a defensive mechanism that I don't think she's consciously aware of. Besides that, why would Ajax make her better if you look at it as her being excited. If anything, it would exacerbate the issue.

How she is superficially close with Ajax

This one is more founded on the fact she couldn't allow herself to be vulnerable with Ajax after the fight with Tyler. She couldn't run to him or even hug him. He's doing all the work here which wouldn't make sense if she genuinely felt for him. This is upheld when she is gripping onto her jacket with him. In a symbolic sense, the jacket can be read as a shield keeping her from exposing herself. She has a need to shield herself around him but with Wednesday she doesn't care. Again, she deadass bolts to her and doesn't care if she's only wearing a jacket. I'm just saying there's multiple ways to read the hug scene.

Now of course this is all subjective. Keep in mind this is a head canon regardless of whether or not I believe it is well supported. I did find similarities between my own journey and her so I could be a bit biased too.

[dappersautismcreature]

ngl it is wild being a viewer of one team pov (red btw, hello from the other side lol) and then going and checking out what people watching the other team pov are saying and seeing such wildly different interpretations and discourse surrounding the same series of events LOL. like each side is like it’s the Other team that has a victim complex, no one has suffered like we have, they don’t know how good they’ve had it listing all these examples fhjdkdk people see things one way from their chosen pov and get Angry and then are told it was a total misinterpretation by someone who watched another pov and then are like, oh. understandable and then the cycle repeats, it’s surreal, purgatory is truly a very unique competitive viewing experience lmao

yeah... what can ya do. the only true imbalances, in my view of course, are audience power. like i think That is where most of blue mains defensiveness comes from.

like even the ccs are pointing that part out. and bad especially gets so much fuckin hate even from blue mains its awful.

but with the rest, idk man, blue and red have both fucked eachother over. i will say in my biased opinion, both teams have victim complexes but i think red ccs feed into it more? especially surrounding bad? like when philza today said "i hope red is the cursed team so the eggs deaths can be on bad" 💀 that was awful, that was what red stan twt talks about and then the next sentence theyll say "i hope dapper dies brutally in front of bad" << that shit is not fun to hear.

saying ur team has suffered is chill, its purgatory, everyone has spent hours watching their team be miserable. but idk man ive never seen a blue main say "i hope -insert egg here- dies in front of red so they can be guilty and horrified" (i have seen people saying that they hope the cursed team is blue so red team can stop holding the first day over blue" so ya know, not perfect)

ive said this since day one, an eye for an eye makes the world blind. at this point both teams are blinded severely and it doesnt matter who blinded who when and how and with what tool, theyre just both blind and miserable. like? my only issue is with how the teams respond on a semi meta level, not the atrocities, really.

and anon if you wanna point out some examples of shitty things i or other blue mains say, feel free, id love to see ur point of view like. thats the only way to get past bias, is reaching a hand over and sharing information. how else, ya kno0w?

sorry for the ranttt just have so many thoughts. also might have derailed ur point but O____O what can ya doooo.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

the reading comprehension on this godforsaken website is genuinely insane. it's such shit ppl went after you for responding. fwiw you singlehandedly restored my faith in the GO fandom a little while back, some of the only well thought-out takes for miles (til i started clicking on the reblogs n found more). there was nothing wrong with defending yourself from people who didn't even read the meta. for something you put this much effort into, it'd be weirder not to be defensive

ive sat on the whole thing over the last dozen or so hours now, with a good mixture of upset, anger, some kind of numbness, and incredible amounts of anxiety. i posted that response out of the second; i was really angry, and i flew off the handle. whilst i don't appreciate being told by the other anon that i shouldn't be so attached/shouldn't have been so upset, they have a point, and were right to highlight (intentionally or not) at the very least that that is the root of the problem. i likened the fiasco to some secondary school bullshit, but i didn't realise - or want to acknowledge - that that applied to me too. the whole thing has reawakened ancient history that i thought i had gotten over years ago - more than a decade ago, even - and it very much turns out that that isn't the case, and was simply buried. the uncomfortable thing i also ran into is that the incident has made me re-examine myself with a little more, and definitely overdue, scrutiny - the post attacked at what i now think was my ego, and my over-confidence, and sense of entitlement. that's so uncomfortable to admit, but here we are.

i don't mind people disagreeing with me, but i still stand firm that i don't think sending an ask ridiculing someone, or adding tags that equally can be interpreted as being plain unkind, is a nice thing to do. it's shit - i felt humiliated, and self-conscious in a fandom that until this point, for all my controversial takes 😂 - had made me feel that i had a space to share them, and whilst may not be agreed with, would still be valued by nature of them belonging to a person. i have no doubt that everything on that post wasn't at all personal, but it still felt that what i had spent a lot of time, excitement, and joy writing was worthy of being laughed at, as if i were stupid for writing it (let me be clear - idc if people think the original post and the take within it is wrong, that's absolutely fair enough). it then called into question - what else have people been nice to me about, politely interacting with me about, and yet elsewhere those same people are being horrible about it?

that line of overthinking is entirely my issue, that's noone else's fault, but i do think that had these people just simply kept their opinion to a DM, or somewhere else where the original poster is unlikely/not going to see it, it might have all been avoided. people are entitled to share their opinion, i have no issues with that fact, but it can have consequences... just like the consequences of me rb'ing it once the anger had set in, and i ceased to think rationally. i am sorry that i reacted out of anger, without much - if any - rational thought; that it was bitchy as fuck, and - without the maelstrom of emotion attached to it, as it was from my perspective - it was objectively uncalled for. im embarrassed i reacted like that, and im aware that its only served to make me come across as even more ridiculous than the original post ever could 😂 but i want to settle in with what this has brought up, especially the shitty stuff that i thought i had long gotten over, and look at why i reacted the way i did - i think i was right to defend myself, but perhaps not in the way that i did.

as a separate note, and just really as a PSA to anyone waiting on me in my ask box or has sent me messages - im going to halt on posting any original posts/asks for a while (knowing me, because i can't help myself, a 'while' will probably be like a day). that's in part because im shitting bricks about posting anything in general (this ask response included), but also because - like i said before - i don't want to continue posting stuff when im now wondering how much is coming from a less-than-humble place - im worried that it's a lot more than i ever thought, which is vulnerable, but that's how it goes.

[scringleydingleydoo]

i'm just saying if I was apart of the Harry Potter verse, shit would be different. I would ask the important questions.

"if the guys so dangerous why hasn't anyone tried shooting him yet?"

"hey, dont shit on the USA, people who lost the war aren't allowed to speak. I'm allowed to shit on it cause i'm from the United States bitch."

"I'm just saying, ive never seen someone get up after being shot in the head."

"Y'all ever wonder how big his wand is? Like i know hes evil and wants to kill us all, but do you think hes evil, wants to kill us all, and a virgin?"

"Cedric Diggory? More like Cedric-get-that-dick-in-ME-"

"Wait, our professor is a fucking WEREWOLF?! LIKE FROM TWILIGHT?!"

"No Ron, muggle pictures dont fucking move.....Wait if wizard pictures move does that mean-FRED GEORGE, PLEASE TELL ME THAT WIZARDS HAVE THEIR OWN VERSION OF PLAYBOY-"

"In my defense, the little bitch was being a racist prick and where i come from we beat up people who talk shit."

"Lockhart? more like LockSHART am i right?"

"That Luna girl is so weird and off putting, do we know if she's single?"

"For the last time Ron, no, Americans don't use bald eagles, we use owls same as you guys."

"That's Virginmort? Where's his nose?"

"So, do you think his nose was all he lost when he got revived or do you think that he lost....other things as well."

"I wonder if Voldemort ever gets diarrhea? Don't look at me like that, it's a serious question!"

"Hey, Ginny, is your friend Luna single? I wanna ask her to the Yule Ball thing!"

"Luna you are the weirdest girl I have ever met, it's amazing, will you go to the Yule Ball with me?"

"Dude Hermione looks good as hell, whoa. Ron's a fucking idiot."

"Luna, I wanted to ask if- ("Yes, I would like to date you Juni.") well alright then, glad we got that out of the way."

"Wait, so you guys were just gonna skip a year of school and go off on some grand ass adventure across the country and you DIDNT INVITE ME?!"

(The poly juice potion scene in the 7th book.) "Ewww, this guy has wadded up tissues in his pockets, what the hell!"

"Holybshit this is just like that movie flushed away, I cant believe i'm about to flush myself down a toilet-"

"Y'all have issues, not saying I don't, but i'm better than y'all."

"I had my parents send me a glock. Just in case."

"EVER HEARD THE PHRASE 'NEVER BRING A WAND TO A GUN FIGHT' BITCHS?! EAT MY FUCKING AMERICAN MADE LEAD-"

(7th book when The Golden Trio goes back to Hogwarts): "Omg Luna! You look even more off putting than you did the last time I saw you! Its amazing!"

"Yknow, if we had shot this Virginmort guy like I suggested, Harry wouldn't be dead right n-HOLY SHIT HE'S ALIVE?!"

"YEAH MRS.WEASLY YOU TELL THAT BITCH WHO BOSS!"

(after the battle): "Damn how y'all gonna get the funding to fix this shit?"

anyways tell me if y'all want more of this tomfoolery

[psykoz]

ok so some things that have happened at my job

- coworker said the r slur in front of me, a few others, and one of the front end managers. manager says nothing to stop it and in fact jusf laughs and agree w the overall statement (halloween costumes looked [r-slur]ed). this is significantly worse as not only am i (not openly at work for fear but pretty obviously) autistic, but the field we are working in is specifically with seniors with a specific type of mental and intellectual disability

- person who hired and trained me and is an assistant, also higher position not a manager technically but on the management team, learns i dont celebrate xmas thru an email i willingly send, totally fine. but days later, unprompted and unrelated, she str8 up asks why i dont celebrate and i feel the need to reveal some inkling of religious beliefs which i really do not want to do

- literally wont tell me half of the things i need to do/not do until after i fucked up anr get reprimanded. they never told me what the callout policy was, until after i recieved a write up for breaking it. they didnt tell me a security feature for someone had been updated, until i almost messed up SECURITY and a coworker had to tell me it had been changed. theres more but pointing out every time would get tedious and repetitive

- already blamed me once for having "too many missed calls" despite every one of those missed calls having been before my start time or after i am meant to clock out, some even having come past midnight or before 6am when im still hours away from even needing to be getting ready to clock in, outright admitting that it was more likely because their phone system isnt patching back to the after hour line, or after hours people are just not picking up the phone. and still called me in for a full 8 hour "training" shift where i spent well over 75% of the day sitting, not working OR training and thinking abt how much shit i needed to get done in my personal life and how wasteful this was, because of something out of MY control when im not even fucking clocked in.

- my bosses have all been on at least one vacation in the 3 months ive been here. despite being called, verbatim, "the last line of defense" and being in charge of peoples lives, having to potentially de escalate an angry senior if i tell them they arent allowed outside, and having to be around people that are dying at least one person every week or 2, i get no benefits and no chance to even accrue vacation or sick time. i would have never accepted a job with not benefits or sick or leave if they had explained to me the full scope of the stressors i have dealt with. i know for a fact my ptsd has gotten more severe after this job and i went thru a traumatic experience that i wont talk abt bc it was out of the hands of my job tbf, they couldnt have stopped it from happening, but i have still been exposed to multiple deaths and one event ive been unable to stop thinking about and fearing. they have never suggested grief counseling is available to any employee

- sometimes they put up fliers for mandatory meetings/trainings without sending any text/email about it. this sucks for so many reasons. i just may not see them, i have multiple disorders that give me memory issues so having a reminder on my phone would be helpful, qnd the worst of all: they have put up fliers on a day i wasnt working for a mandatory meeting, on a day i wasnt working, and i did not have another shift until 2 days AFTER the meeting that i didnt even know happened bc they didnt bother to let me know despite me being physically unable to see fliers if im NOT THERE.

[bigmoneypastelhalloween]

I wonder if the chronology of my last post is coherent enough...

Missing context:

In summer 2010 just after the g20 riots i moved to toronto with veña and simon, we got the cheapest 3 bedroom we could find, it was "above the 401" as they say, the hinterlands. Veña and i moved in first and smoked salvia in the empty apartment, simon got there a month later. I got a job at a queen street headshop after a couple months, hand of god given that i dropped off 5 resumes total and spent all day every day blogging and agonizing over where i could get decent weed and how to afford more. leni moved in that fall, originally sharing a room with simon but there was conflict and she switched to veña's room. Holding pattern while i make connections thru work and hang out with coworkers. By the new year we're rolling again, we're going to dj nights, etc. The manager at work changes when 50k of legal highs disappear. Martin, who i know from uvic, moved in may or june of 2011. We all ended up on 2cb or some research chem near-analog, i was supposed to have mdma for us but the batch sold as, was later confirmed to be 2csomething via the dealers gf postfacto. Immediately martin got us househunting and within a few weeks we saw a bunch of places and then moved from 2441 finch west to 114 finch east i guess starting in august because we had a big summer moving in party. Leni and veña were on speed and i told them not to jook up with this undergrad they knew but they did anyway. The kid and their friends hung around all summer wondering when we'd actully be fun. The kid figured out martin was the fun one and got mad at veña for liking their ex better. The kid is lux. Lux starts talking to martin about metal instead of veña. Halloween '11 is a 0 degree night out of nowhere and we're at a bridge show martin has a reading at, after going to a party at my store managers place with lux, which sucks so bad lux bails for the night. Someone does a callout of a stylistic choice in martins work and things sort of derail. Martin wants us to play defense, which turns things into a popularity contest, and martin would win going strictly by defender numbers, 4 v 1 ("your network is your networth") except because the girl and her friend who are complaining about martins story have more metal attached to their clothes martin is ashamed of our bad optics. This foreshadows much to come. I lose my job by being more and more of an insane mess and go on employment insurance. Yule 2011 I went back to bc with my fiance garrett who was living in boston working on his phd in psychology. I spent that easter doing k and acid with lux. In march 2012 i had what garrett said was a psychotic break.

Martin moved out may of 2012. I went to panama to teach the primatology class at a field school for 2 sessions from june to august. I got assaulted by a coworker, martin was the only person i told from home who took the position that i was being unreasonable. I got my septum done in bocas del toro, it was a body-ownership move as much as a memento of the place; Ive never stopped wearing a ring in my nose since then, ive even gauged up a bit. I got garrett a ticket to panama, he moved into the house with us after we got back from panama together, he still had to write and defend his thesis. 2012 we had a big vegan house party for yuletime. A few days before that was the big mayan calendar failpocalypse, i spent it writing on 2ce. Somewhere in there i got into a facebook spat with martin over veña, and got blocked. New year 2013 i got a job i'd written a preholiday rush cover for, at a headshop really close to the house, at yonge and steeles. Worked there 5 months, ran into another coworker issue. General workplace friction with the whole vibe of working for GoT fan ancaps in the legal high/weed paraphernalia business. 2nd verse same as the first. I started spending more time with lux because they were the most sympathetically in tune with my rage about the panama situation and my sorrow about the state of the world, and i ended up going with them and nat to meet suzy for the first time that spring after end of session at u of t when she was moving out of the student res that a few years later got closed for being uninhabitably damaged. Suzy gave me a hundred or so caps of name brand dexedrine as a parting gift. Blast off.

Right at the time things were melting down at work again martin told the others about moving back to the city. It triggered a midtier manic episode but i was also on long speed jags at that time, it all coalesced. I left martin a letter in the paper tray of the copier they wanted to pick up. A month or so later they came to the house, probably while i was at the fort. Id started hooking up with lux after doing speed at a backyard show there and they were insanely demanding after that. (I met nix spring 2013, at one of the fort shows that happened during that time.) When i got back everyone said martin had spent the whole time trying to get them to shit talk me and itd been pretty awkward. Leni said she saw martin find my letter and disgustedly throw it away. Emma came over and we all unloaded about how martin was being so bizarre after moving out. But then simon decided to move out. I asked them to give me my first stiknpoke before leaving and they gave me a division symbol on my wrist. Lux was squeezing someone out of the fort at that time, the house founder in fact, and needed someone they could stand, on short notice, to take over a large share of the rent, so they used emotional leverage and got me to bail on veña and leni. I was almost out of money and my big plan was to go on welfare for the first time after moving to the fort.

I left in july to go hitchhiking with lux, who wanted to chase their remaining roommates to a grindcore festival in bc and basically make sure people werent just sitting around complaining about the coup that had actually scared off the house founder and her bestie, so the rent situation was tenuous and being held down by the mom of this guy ryan who lived there and had spent 3 or 6 months in prison for being a g20 rioter, he got beaten every day by guards and left with crippling depression. He was dating someone from another collective house who was in bc waiting for fastcore with nat already because they'd trainhopped and made it the whole way thru ontario in 2 days. I got my first smartphone so i could document the trip and i started a new facebook, maybe i was hoping my sudden metamorphosis into someone with a punk name would register to martin and theyd add my new account and we'd talk. We go to mtl to visit nix and bug at death church; bug had moved out of the fort before luxs coup. We doubled back quickly and then headed north. I got my 2nd stiknpoke from lux outside wawa (infamous hitching black hole), a bong. Lux and i got lucky with a 2 day ride across the praries in a dodge charger after a week in north ontario. We met cassidy and her gf at the time in edmonton, & after a few days there we got over to vancouver where we met up with ryan who said he was there to try to find shrew because theyd had a fight. He said some bad consent stuff happened, after we'd been hanging out for a day (lux loved him) and lux and i nervous laughed & called shrew who said to lose ryan and get up to squamish. We caught up with nat and shrew, eventually linked up with nat and shrews lost travel crew....and an old roommate of luxs named natalie who had gone from plur to acab in the same space of time as lux had. (All very coincidental im sure.) Remember natalie. In squamish i gave myself a mans ruin stiknpoke while we hung out at the skatepark, beautiful day. After fastcore we bummed around vancouver a couple days before lux got their guardian angel cj to buy them a bus ticket because they were cranky from bin-diving giving them food poisoning and all their internet friends we'd met turning out to be normie libs (no one wanted to lay pipe). I spend my last cash on a ticket for myself. Greyhound still runs cross country in 2013. Garrett and i move in to the fort right as nat and lux hitch to mtl together to visit nix. Shrew was still living at george street, i think doug was trying to get them to stay there at the time but all the guys there were saying ryan was a good guy and we were all totally willing to kick ryan out whether shrew moved in or not. I dont know where he was at this time, but based on the stimulator screening we went to with him back in van, he hadnt even noticed being leftcoast famous for getting arrested until that outing, and there were a lot more warm welcomes to make a tour of before trying to talk to shrew again. He was all set up at a well known collective house by the pne grounds.

So garrett and i were actually alone at the fort with shrews miniscule cat beez for a couple weeks before anyone came back. I was on my way to shrew and ryans first face to face over at g street, on my bike, and got arrested because a cop said i spit on him. He said some got on his shoe. I got cuffed and ticketed but they let me go. I missed the thing with ryan and no one at g street found getting arrested remarkable. I went home to the fort and garrett found it so remarkable that he dumped me. I spent the next three months crying at sammy yatim demos and police hearings and watching tv in bed or having last chance sex. During this time lux and nat were trying to find more renters and this runaway kid who'd been having trouble at another house moved in, along with a street artist the others knew from around. As soon as garrett was gone at the start of December 2013, nat and i took a bus across the border and started hitching to IDA in Tennessee so they could tell us how to make an effective collective house. We learned that everyone needs their own house and its normal for people to go years within a community not talking to eachother. We got back and the street artist and shrew were at it with eachother. I got a tattoo from her anyway, in the living room. On her birthday we all go to a soup kitchen, martin is there with a bunch of shrews old friends. We're weird and avoidant of one another, i decide to let martin say hi if they want to, they dont, more to it but whatever. Skip to, we tell birthday gal we need to find someone who is actually paying rent. She sets the house on fire. We put it out. Happy 2014.

Then came the business of kicking lux out for being a manipulative weirdo who turned out to be mad at natalie because natalie was like "the sex we had was not consensual, youre a rapist" and lux was just like "what a bitch can you believe this bitch" about it, and then also "technically i also raped my ex who veña always liked better" about it, too. So that was a mess. That winter and early spring are a blur, nat and shrew and i go to some parties. Doug moves in. Various other people move in and out. Random people are in and out all the time. I live in a closet, which i consider heaven. I take a bike repair class. Nat and i go to a party at emmas and i meet luke, its still cold old. I ask luke out but he seems uninvested and morbidly curious from the get go. Im morbidly curious myself once i realize that bug called this guy out over something and i recall that while lux and i were in edmonton lux defaced a bunch of his bands show flyers. I get a really cool bike via nat and start joyriding all over the city, im hoping kismet will kick in and I'll run into martin. Nat and shrew hear from shrews friends that martin lives on the eastside with them. Nat and shrew go to one of martins readings and i say be nice dont troll like you did at the soupkitchen in the winter. They troll worse, tell me all about it when they get home. It sounds like martin won them over by being mildmannered afterward but theyre not forthcoming about that part.

I think that kind of catches things up to where we were before...

I spent summer of 2014 living at the fort and hooking up with luke and a guy who lived at george street named chris. That year on my birthday i sprained both wrists doing a stupid bike stunt. That was the same day i applied to be a courier. Shrew and i got into a conflict over the runaway kid's whole deal and i decided to move out as soon as shrew said they were going to. They stayed, i left. I bused back to bc to regroup with the gang. First i met up with simon, who was hanging out with martins bestie a lot and thru an awkward series of events i ended up crashing at that persons place with them and their bf felix, even tho martins bestie was clearly terrified of me and couldnt understand why simon had brought me in the first place. Then i went to stay with veña and leni, who were living together at veña's moms place. We all did m during a bloodmoon watch and i accidentally outed some information leni had been withholding. Garrett and i kept meeting up and hooking up too, and he got annoyed that i wasnt making room for him in the veña/leni/me situation and left things on bad terms but later apologized. I kept trying to get them all to move back and get another place but the only one who was all in was leni, after the big reveal she felt like relocating would be more fun than staying and facing the music.

Over halloween we hitched from van to winnipeg to save money and bused the rest of the way. They broke up after she got to toronto with me. We stayed at emmas moms place for a month (nov 2014) while i started the courier job it turned out i'd had for weeks, and leni apartment hunted. Doing a good deed is remembered by the spirit of the city, and we found a cheap basement in the trinity-bellwoods area I'd flyered for the first sammy yatim response demo.

I kept working the courier job and one day leni and i ran into luke. He started crashing at our apartment because it was so close to the rehearsal factory. I started writing a summary of the lefty witch agenda as a thesis project for suzy because i had been relying on her counsel more and more since leaving the fort and i wanted to do something that might have some kind of tangible impact and ime she's a very talented witch, one of the most talented i know if not the most, so in her hands a document like that could go anywhere. Lord knows if she ever read it all. I remember she started it and was like you didnt cite so and so and i was like as far as i knew that was original, and its like ok well, she's seen it before. Collaged in with all the same other stuff, too, most likely. I think she thought my format choices were cute, anyway.

I stopped going to the courier job so i could work on my speedifesto full time. I spent new years 2015 on acid at a party on the eastside with a girl i was dating and leni and the girl she was dating. The night ended badly. I ruined things with the girl so many different times but having a self-obsessive bad trip while she wanted to have mindblowingly romantic sex instead, was a big one of the ruiny moments. She's happy now with someone who isnt stupid.

[bbcworldnewstoday]

Lakers don't have clear answer on Russell Westbrook's future

  For the first time since the sputtering end to their 2022 season, the Lakers’ principles gathered in a room to discuss why their upcoming campaign will be different. And in the face of question after question about Russell Westbrook’s fit with the current roster, the only thing clear is the Lakers still don’t have an answer. Nearly everyone of import was asked about Westbrook—in the final year of a contract that will pay him $47.1 million this year—and all of them, including Russ himself, did not sound nearly as excited about the former MVP’s presence as they did a year ago. (Even the customary photo op was subdued.) When asked if he could commit to Westbrook being on the team at the end of the season, basketball operations head Rob Pelinka demurred, offering platitudes about how the front office would look into all routes to improving the roster, which is not exactly a vote of confidence for Russ’s long-term future. Pelinka even made sure to add that the Lakers would be willing to part with first-round draft picks in a potential trade to bolster the rotation—long believed to be the price to move Westbrook’s contract. When asked if Westbrook, who has not come off the bench since his rookie year, would start for the team, new head coach Darvin Ham said, “We’re ways away. We have several options.” He went on to add players with a defensive mindset will be given priority when it comes to playing time. (The Lakers had a 113.5 defensive rating with Russ on the floor last season, per Cleaning the Glass.) LeBron James and Anthony Davis both expressed faith playing with Westbrook could still work, though they didn’t exactly dive into specifics. Davis said Russ needs to continue to be himself, which, when considering Westbrook’s efficiency to usage ratio, doesn’t quite hold up to scrutiny. James said Russ could still be successful in Los Angeles, though again not really outlining how that would function while on the floor. Meanwhile Patrick Beverley, a long-time Westbrook nemesis, claims Russ has been his best friend since he joined the team. This had to be clarified specifically because of how heated the rivalry has been between the two players for years. It’s also possible if not likely Beverley ends up starting and Westbrook does not, which has the potential to create an awkward dynamic for a player (Russ) who had issues with his playing time at points last season. And as for Westbrook himself, he summed up the questions surrounding his spot on the team succinctly: “Whether they want me here or not doesn't really matter,” he said. Later adding, rather philosophically, “We all have jobs, and some people at our jobs don't like us or don't want us there.” Russell Westbrook talks at Lakers media day. Gary A. Vasquez/USA TODAY Sports It feels mean spirited to pile on Westbrook. In an ideal world, regardless of his contract, someone as talented as him could find a way to tweak his game to better complement the stars on his team. Instead, as long as he’s on the roster, he serves as a constant reminder for how precipitously the Lakers have fallen since their championship run in 2020. Westbrook alone is not responsible for Los Angeles’s current predicament—fighting simply to make the playoffs as opposed to being seen as a contender—but he’s the symbol for a head-scratching roster construction. Why there are still so many players on this team who can’t quite shoot and can’t quite defend remains a mystery. With or without Westbrook in the rotation, Ham will have his work cut out for him trying to coax championship-level 3-and-D play from the likes of Lonnie Walker IV, Kendrick Nunn, Dennis Schroder, and Austin Reaves. Who on this team is expected to guard Kawhi Leonard? Luka Dončić? Devin Booker? That’s why the Westbrook questions are relevant. Because trading him for players who are better fits is the Lakers’ only real chance at building a title contender this season. It’s hard to imagine the present-day roster making some kind of miracle run, even with a healthy James and Davis. (Notably, the Lakers were outscored with that duo on the floor last season, with or without Westbrook.) Ultimately, as Pelinka said himself, the organization must do everything they can to compete in the twilight of LeBron’s career. While media day is a long way away from the playoffs, the Lakers still need to figure out how they’re going to make that happen. More NBA Coverage: Read the full article

[technowoah]

Taunt

It only takes one time to realize you fucked up.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- WILBUR X FEM! READER BLURB

PROMPTS!

50) "Fuck off... I mean it"

24) "Get in the car" "..." "please get in the car"

⚠︎ angst to fluff, swearing, based on the song Taunt by Lovejoy ❤🐈 its short btw yall

[Updated 3 hours after upload I messed up the prompts sorry yall now it fixed]

She was always asking if he was alright. He always lied to her just to get her off his back for the night, but it was his fault that he wanted her to move in. He has to deal with that all of the time, it was her fault anyways. She made him upset, she made him not alright. She didn't know that. She constantly complained about things that didn't even concern her, she dodged their relationship making it more about her than them.

It was tiring to him. Constantly providing, trying to tie a broken knot, but he didnt let that get in the way of his career, or his friends. There's another issue, he never talked to his friends about her. She accused him of not being proud of their relationship and that became a problem that never got resolved.

Did anyone ever say "no" to her? Well if no one did, he would be the first one to do so. Fuck that.

He listened, and listened, but nothing kept this relationship together.

Wilbur talked to the three people chatting on his discord through his headphones as a soft LED lights flowed through the room. These nights were simple because she didnt have to see him when he decides to stream, he basically has his time set out for himself without trouble. He wasn't ecstatic, he felt horrible, but the facadè was there.

Her on the other hand wasnt happy either. She never got attention from him, and of course she could get moody from time to time like every other human being, but she always took it out on him. Who else was gonna be there for her? He acted like her cared, she knew he was lying. His "caring" consisted of humming and him responding like a default character in a video game. He didn't care, he acted like he never did. She needed that attention and he knew damn well she did.

She wasnt asking for much, at least to her it did feel like it. She knew when she was wrong, but she didn't want to admit it when they were both in the wrong too. They dont get each other, she didnt know why he asked her to move in when he didn't want anything to do with her. Ever since he moved her in he kept her in check like a child, she hated and loved that at the same time. Its true that she wanted her own way, she did what she wanted and gave her attention to whoever she wanted her attention to be. She thought that was fine, but apparently she dosent give any effort to the relationship.

Rolling her eyes at the thought she decided to leave the dishes in the sink dirty. She thought about leaving and finding someone who will get her, yes Wilbur listened to her, but there was no effort. When he's drunk and tries to "figure out what makes her brain tick" ends up in more distaster.

Lying in the couch her mind began to wonder, he always said that she could get away with anything. She always took it as a taunt. Everytime it was brought up. He called it "pretty privilege" and he always taunts her saying she abuses that power.

Her jaw clenched as she recalled those memories. Summoning the courage she brought herself up onto her feet and rushed to their shared bedroom. Taking a deep breath she opened their closet and started pulling her things off of hangers, not caring if she made a mess. She tossed her clothes onto the messy bed that they didn't bother to make this morning.

Bringing a small backpack out from underneath the bed she tried shoving most of her clothes into a bag for a night. In total frustration she emptied the bag and only backed necessities that she would need for the night.

She was tired of him and he was tired of her so she was doing both of them a favor. She made her way out of the door grabbing a coat and sliding on some simple shoes. Shooting a quick text to a close friend letting them know she's coming over. Her friend wasn't that close, but she decided to walk. As she locked the door to their shared apartment she debated texting Wilbur. She didnt want to, but she didnt want him to freak the fuck out because she wasnt home.

( Wilbur )

Me: Ill be back for the rest of my stuff tmrw.

[Read]

She closed her phone and started on her night time journey down the street trying to let everything from the past few weeks go with the cool wind.

Him on the other hand stayed silent. He had just finished his stream and had gotten a text saying that she'll be back for the rest of her things. This was inevitable, one of them had to leave, but to him it didnt seem right. He didn't want her to leave. Something in his heart was making him chase her back, the same thing in his heart that moved her into his apartment in the first place. Maybe it was love, maybe he wanted to persevere and have someone in his life. Something in his mind was telling him that he let go of something special.

Wilbue thought about it as he shut everything off and went to go grab his belongings, before rushing out the door to try and find her. Sadly to his discovery, she turned off her location. He finally made it to his car and started driving towards his house to see if she was around there.

He couldn't call a friend because she never introduced her friends to him. She did that on purpose because of him not doing the same. As he drove down the not so busy streets of Brighton he thought if he could get to know her, pull emotions and feelings out of her and see the real her. And if he cant do that? Who knows what will happen.

He remembers this face she always pulled when he always said "Im alright." She scrunched up her nose in annoyance and he always took it as a taunt because he couldn't figure out the real meaning. They were both going at this the wrong way, he dosent know anything about her and maybe thats the problem, but she needs to calm down as well. She needs to start paying attention to both of them instead of herself.

He was seated at a stoplight until he saw a figure on the sidewalk walking past him. The person looked shocked then kept walking, but even faster this time. He rolled down the window to see it was Y/n walking. Wilbur ran the red light and found a place to turn the car around to follow her. He drove a couple of feet in front of her before putting his hazard lights on and stepping out of the car to confront her.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Wilbur said while getting our of his car.

"Im getting away from you. And what are you doing here?" She said.

"Well I could ask you the same thing. Its not safe out here alone." He calmed down a little. Wilbur's main goal was to get her back home so they can have a civilized talk. He didn't want to be out here.

"Oh? Ive been fine for the past fifteen minutes." She sasser back.

"That dosent mean its not safe!" He exclaimed.

She stayed quiet so that gave Wilbur an opportunity to speak.

"See, I want us to go home so we can have a civilized talk without feeling defensive. I want to get to know you, I know you're my girlfriend and yes, it was my mistake rushing things. Im not putting the blame all on myself either." He finished and she stayed quiet with her arms crossed infront of her chest.

"Are you cold-?"

"Fuck off...I mean it." She said while trying to pass hin on the street.

He stood in her way and he kept doing that every time she tried to get around him. Wilbur saw that she was getting annoyed at his actions. Wilbur held her by both of her biceps trying to hold her still so he could talk.

"You're being childish!"

"Fucking listen to me! You cant just keep walking away from us! From me! This is not healthy!" Wilbur yelled. He let go if her and surprisingly she stayed there.

"Get in the car." He ordered but she stayed silent. "Please get in the car."

She turns around gets in the passenger seat if Wilbur's car. He sighed a sigh if relief and followed her lead. They both got settled into the car and he didn't move. He wasn't going to drive unless she talked to him. After a minute if silence she spoke up.

"I know its- its both of our faults. And i have some things I need to work on. I cant just run away. Also your thoughts of me need to be rearranged, but I need to give you all of me. At leat 50 percent so we can start somewhere. But Im sorry." She said while she looked down at her lap maybe in embarrassment.

In the end they both wanted to fix themselves. In the end they wanted eachother. And they can both see that.

He leaned over the armrest and gave her a kiss on her cheek. She turned to him with a surprise look on her face, like this was the most affection he gave her, because it was true. She grabbed his hand that rested on the armrest too as he started to drive towards their home together.

As the nightly drive continues on and now shes drifting off in the passenger seat as In Love With An E-girl plays softly. She's left too tired to talk with Wilbur and be in touch with her emotions right now, but she'll do it for the both of them this time.

[ootahime]

what is utahime’s role in the future? — a prediction (manga spoilers)

part 2 (unedited)

part 1 is here!

let’s continue answering the question: is utahime weak?

chapter 135

what preparations is utahime making? like i’ve mentioned before, i theorize that she needs to charge up in order to use her technique. since momo and the other kyoto students are fighting on the front line to buy time for utahime, i believe that they trust that their teacher’s ability can help turn the situation around.

what do the students think of her? do they think she’s weak?

chapter 128

mechamaru manipulates the circumstances in a way that allow him to keep the kyoto people away from danger. this has more to do with how much he cares about his classmates and his teacher rather than seeing them as incompetent sorcerers who can’t hold their own. notice how he says “EVEN utahime”.

chapter 128

kamo thinks mechamaru doesn’t have that much faith in the Kyoto students—but this isn’t true at all! he knows who the enemy is and has a grasp of how dangerous they are. he just wants to keep his friends safe. besides, kamo is a semi-grade 1 sorcerer which means he’s more than capable of defending himself against curses. but since he’s being kept safe too, it suggests that this is not a matter of keeping weak people away from fighting :)

chapter 41

this seems a bit off topic but let’s talk about the misogyny in jujutsu society. momo points out to nobara that the women from the zenin clan are expected to be perfect. the misogyny runs so deep to the point where some women aren’t allowed to even fight. you may think that this is just about the zenin clan but it’s about society as a whole. that’s why nobara responds to momo in a more personal sense. she doesn’t care about the boys versus girls issue because she embraces all aspects of herself. she loves herself when she’s strong, and she loves herself when she’s dressed up and beautiful. if it only applied to the zenin family then nobara wouldn’t have responded the way she did.

in the chapter before, nishimiya explains, “even if a girl has skills, if she’s not cute, she’s looked down upon. of course, if she’s only cute with no skill, it’s the same. women sorcerers aren’t expected to be skilled, they’re expected to be perfect.”

some of the female characters in jujutsu kaisen apply to this. for example, maki and mai. they’re looked down upon because one can’t use a cursed technique or see curses, while the other’s cursed technique is weak. in chapter 148(?) naoya says the only thing maki had going for her was her face, but it’s ruined now so she’s nothing. the zenin twins fall under the “cute but not skilled” category in jujutsu society. before we can put utahime into a category, let’s examine mei.

i promise this will all connect so please bear with me LOLLL let’s move on to mei. we find out that mei has the ability to control crows. she deems this ability as weak because it’s simple and doesn’t have much attack or defense power.

she convinces herself that a sorcerer’s worth doesn’t revolve around their CT. by following this ideal, she soon found herself at her limit because you can only hone your physical abilities to an extent. she said she was crushed because she thought that her weak CT would forever stunt her ability to grow as a sorcerer. but because of all the training she did in order to not rely on her CT, she was able to combine her physical prowess with her technique to make what’s best of her ability to control crows.

mei is an example of a perfect woman based on the standards the jujutsu world has established for women. although she has a weak technique, she makes up for it with adept use of weapons and physical prowess. she found a way to incorporate this “weak” ability to make it something strong. she’s beautiful and powerful so therefore, she was promoted to be a grade 1 sorcerer. she is what a woman is expected to be in order to be acknowledged by others.

what about utahime? why couldn’t she follow the same footsteps as mei?

i can’t answer that because we don’t really know much about utahime so far. i can only speculate why. being a grade 2 sorcerer at 20 is not bad at all. but why is she stuck as a semi-grade 1 sorcerer at 31? that surely proves she’s just weak, right?

semi-grade 1 sorcerers are sorcerers who have performed well on missions with a person accompanying them. i feel like when utahime was on a mission to exorcise a grade 1 curse on her own (the final step of the grade 1 promotion process), something happened that gave her her scar and made her unable to fulfill the mission. it’s either that or she did complete the mission but her appearance is too unsatisfactory. can you recall what nishimiya said? if you’re cute and not skilled, you’re not good enough. if you’re not cute and skilled, you’re still not good enough.

in men, scars are a symbol of honor and strength. on the other hand, scars on a woman’s face are seen as an imperfection. as a result, those who are scarred are deemed imperfect and unsuitable for marriage.

gojo hates the way things are run because the higher ups are so close-minded. they make decisions on a whim and have no compassion for sorcerers who are breaking their backs on their orders. he wants to change jujutsu society for the better by raising the next generation of sorcerers to be as strong as him. the old-fashioned and narrow-minded attitude of the higher ups leads me to believe that utahime is stuck as a semi-grade 1 sorcerer because she is viewed as imperfect. utahime’s scar is most likely the reason contributing to her being held back. who would want to promote a woman who isn’t beautiful enough to be a grade 1 sorcerer?

she obviously has a lot to offer because she’s a teacher at Kyoto. todo, a grade 1 sorcerer, has never shown any sign of disrespect towards utahime despite the fact that he surpassed her in rankings. he trusts in her and believes she has some things she can teach him.

can we additionally address the fact that gojo respects mei? he refers to her as mei-san and says that there’s no way she’d cry because she’s strong. mei has a weak technique though? 🤔🤔🤔 controlling crows?!?!?! nah im jk, mei is strong with and without her technique, of course. since gojo respects someone like mei, a person who doesn’t have an out-of-this-world technique, i believe his view of someone strong isn’t solely based on their technique. when he calls utahime weak, he may not be insulting her CT. it’s just all jokes because in chapter 65, geto and mei join in on the fun too and pick on her. mr. hot shot knows that utahime is a valuable asset to his plans so he entrusts her with the task of unearthing the traitor(s). if she was so incapable of such a thing, why did he pay mei to do the same job? 🤔

*a lot of people think mei was actually paid by gojo to promote his students but that’s incorrect. it goes against everything gojo advocates for. he wants his kids to enjoy their youth because his was taken away. being a sorcerer is not a smooth job and no matter how many years you’re in the profession, it never gets easier. he doesn’t wish for his students to be thrust in a world full of hardship and loss, which is why he was so against yuuji and yuta’s execution. he works hard to preserve the innocence of his students. he doesn’t want yuji’s heart to break, not even once. why would he pay mei to promote his students to grade 1? that would automatically strip them of their innocence and youth and push them into a world full of burden and pain.

PHEW that was long. how does this all tie back to utahime’s future role in the story?

her CT will probably come in clutch in an important battle

she might be the one to help get gojo out the box (A REACH i know)

she will help gojo with his plan to overthrow and change jujutsu society as a whole

i don’t really have to dive into the first bullet point. as for the second one, look at what i found!

in the second opening, utahime is seen searching for something in a dim forest.

*i read an analysis about opening 2 and apparently this just symbolizes her looking for the traitors. that makes sense too.

in chapter 144, this scenery pops up right before they enter master tengen’s base(?) the branches are thicker than in the opening but it gives the same vibes to me. i think utahime will be the one to break gojo out.

why utahime? well, gojo is their best shot at stabilizing whatever the fuck is going on right now. she knows it’s a crime to unseal him, but she wants her students to be safe so she’ll probably risk it. plus, gojo’s flashback starts with him breaking utahime and mei out of a building with a barrier.  i think utahime breaking gojo out of the prison realm will make a perfect parallel :3

that theory is a massive ass pull I KNOW. it’s just fun to think about. it’s likely that kurusu hana will be the one helping yuuji and megumi out with that.

if utahime isn’t the one freeing gojo, she will definitely come face to face with the other traitors.

ive read numerous Reddit threads and tons of users think she’ll play a small role in the story—nothing too significant. i’m perfectly content with that as well. i never expected her to be gojo level or anything like that LMAOO. as long as we get to see her technique in action, i will be satisfied 😮‍💨

——

i feel like there may be a few things i missed but i tried to include everything i could think of. the organization of this post is quite off but im too lazy to rearrange it in a way that makes it more coherent LOL. thank you so much for reading. ill probably analyze gojo and utahime’s interactions in the manga and anime next :-)

[dyketubbo]

theres a lot of people who seem to think that c!beeduo will have some sort of giant argument abt ranboos or quackity will take tubbos last life or something and im just like. no i just want them to talk LMAO can we get a tubbo talking about his problems and have an arc of tubbo realizing that he shouldnt just accept mistreatment and that repressing his emotions is not the same as healthily moving on from trauma. i want him and quackity to be equals with mutual respect (which is where their relationship had already left off), i know realistically theres going to be conflict but like.

ranboo and tubbo both already know theyre keeping secrets, tubbo wouldnt be mad about enderwalk because its not dangerous, ranboo wouldnt be mad because tubbo didnt tell him about his past, at most ranboo would be upset *for* tubbo because like. theres no good reason for ranboo to get mad that tubbo didnt tell him about something incredibly traumatizing, and theres. no reason for tubbo to be pissed about sleepwalking, even *if* ew!ranboo has conmections with dream, tubbo has already expressed that he wouldnt blame ranboo for anything he couldnt control, and tubbo himself knows how easy it is for dream to get under peoples skin

also i feel like some people seem to lean wayyy too far into quackity being a villain to remember what *kind* of villain he is. he isnt like schlatt, who used political and perceived power to get his way. he isnt like dream, who slowly wittled down peoples defenses and convinced others that it was deserved and that he was in the right (to the point where people *still* believe what he said about tommy). he uses similar tactics, yes, but he's still his own kind of villain, and i truly do not believe quackity is going to kill tubbo when theres. not a very big benefit to doing so? at the least he gets the ire of ranboo and tommy. but its very likely that hes going to piss off a *ton* of people, because tubbo is like. very loved among the community, even most of the las nevadas citizens genuinely like tubbo (slime and quackity only being exceptions because we dont know exactly what their opinions are, but its unlikely that they dislike tubbo)

its unlikely for tubbo to permadie, and i think unlikely for beeduo and las nevadas' conflict to be much more than a moral conflict. hell, i think its more likely for ranboos focus on this conflict to cause an issue within the syndicate (ranboo and phil both focusing on tubbo and growing close with him, and weve been waiting for the ball to drop on technos response to it all, and it may come to a head with them all being apart of the las nevadas plot), or to even just tie up a lot of loose ends with various relationships (cough cough fundy and ranboo cough cough)

i also just dont think it works for the characters to have beeduo have a big fallout (or even really a big argument in general) or for quackity to cause such large harm to tubbo. like ive been trying to collect my thoughts on how beeduos relationship will develop for a while and i want to make a post about it but just as a general tubbo is canonically very loved and cared about on the smp, its very risky to cause harm to him and i feel like quackity would know that. also tubbo has never had a problem with people protecting him LMAO him and tommys entire relationship has been based around protecting each other, tubbo himself is very protective, i doubt tubbo would feel much more than annoyance at ranboos meddling and ultimately if he disagreed with ranboos morals i think he'd at least speak up about that (also tubbo honestly follows the "people not sides" thing in his own way, after all he and punz were always friendly, and hes friends with phil, literally married to ranboo, friends with sam, etc etc)

generally just like, i think tubbos story arc would be best if this led into a healing arc, like its very likely that someone will bring up him being a spy before and how it ended badly and tubbo wont be able to avoid it anymore, and with proper pressuring, yeah, i think he'd snap. but itd be cathartic, and also i do not think anyone around tubbo has the heart to just like, watch him break or even truly get satisfaction out of it. tubbo dying would only further his belief that his life doesnt matter, dream wouldnt revive tubbo, thats kind of just a given. canon wise, it makes sense for tubbo to survive (cough cough parallels to how tommy got out of exile, being the only president to live, also like he has a fucking son), and it makes sense for him to be able to genuinely get those around him to question their morals and how theyve treated him and others. i really do think tubbos arc is heading in a direction where hes gonna heal, and i think its absolutely going to be an emotional/moral struggle rather than a physical one

the people around tubbo have already encouraged him to be emotionally open before, just a bit more pushing and i think theres a chance. is tubbo going to break before he gets better? yeah, but i dont think its going to come in the form of him dying or even an argument with ranboo- which i just do not think will happen in the way most seem to think it will. they are genuinely good partners that love and care for each other, they consistently interact and work together on almost everything. yes they need better communication, but ultimately "i went/am going through a traumatizing experience and i didnt want to worry you by telling" is not a relationship breaker, neither of them are dangerous or harmful to each other. i understand the want to have a lot of action but thats likely going to come with the prison plotline, and tubbos relationships with the prisoners is a much different situation than his relationships with ranboo and quackity (INTENSELY different). hell, dreams in fuckin prison and is still a bigger danger to tubbo than ranboo and quackity could ever be

[izzyliker]

Hey, asking you this as nicely as I can but can you give the immediate victim blaming a break. The absolute lack of respect you have for the people tmc abused is genuinely disheartening. Yes, he’s a shitty person, you’re entitled to hate him but immediately going “well you should’ve seen it coming earlier lol we’ve been saying this” is just ASTONISHINGLY shortsighted and cruel. Have your opinions about him and the situation all you want I would just ask that you please keep it to yourself due to the many many people he’s hurt that are still on here and can see you disparaging them.

ok, that is not what i have been saying. "well you should've known" is not an accurate summary of my feelings on this matter but apologies if thats how it came across. i have been in an abusive relationship where the person did a lot of the same things and i, too, defended that person without considering how it impacted other people. i almost lost my best friend because of how i acted as a result of keeping him in my life while people around me kept telling me to get tf out. i know.

what i am is im frustrated and annoyed by how long people were willing to publicly and passionately defend this guy while apparently fully aware what kind of shit he was doing to other people, many of which is detailed in the callout itself, and how this is now being framed as news. before the document itself was published all me (or anyone) had to go off of was vague posts that amounted to a "callout trailer" and almost all of the information on it was shit that was 100% completely public knowledge. 20+ people being aware of all that goddamn stuff and not one of them publicly stopping associating with him is frustrating. it comes across as spineless and yes, like one anon told GD, gaslighty (although i have my own issues with this being used on a large scale instead of in interpersonal relationships but i understand where they were coming from). his lesbophobia, transphobia (strange that none of the transphobia towards trans men was mentioned?), and panphobia/aphobia/biphobia were widely documented and seeing that on a callout post as if it were news was extremely tiring.

ive since read the callout. the interpersonal actions seem to have been horrible but sadly im not surprised (by which i dont mean "and neither should you" but rather. my spidey senses for this sort of behavior are pretty accurate most of the time and i did see this coming. this isnt me saying im Better than these people or that they shouldve as well but rather that i have learned to identify people of this genre.) by any of them.

also im 75% sure this is tumblr user GD. hello. if not then apologies, its just that the typing here is very similar. if it is, i think you trying to both take accountability for this and process whatever it is youre processing at the same time on tumblr is a bad idea and going to just lead to people feeling hurt and betrayed because while i truly do see where the reaction is coming from (like, truly, i understand, believe me), if you say "i take responsibility for how i acted while being manipulated" but then when people voice their negative feelings you tell them theyre victim blaming you it is going to reflect poorly on you. i dont think you understand how many people were absolutely hurt by the enabling you and your large, massively popular group of friends did for him, including the MASSIVE defense rant you typed up in defense of him when someone sent an ask to the bi jon event about him being panphobic and aphobic. whether its fair for people to expect you to immediately go into depth about it is questionable but dont invite people to do this when you obviously cannot handle it (i dont mean this in a bad way like "oh you should handle it". i mean genuinely this is how you get burnt out and possibly worsen possible future trauma. by trying to immediately placate people without having the mental resources to do so.)

i think the "we dont condone these views and never did!" without ever specifying what they were or doing any other work there is a lazy fucking cop-out. your circle was/is massively popular and a lot of people took all of you as authorities on stuff like headcanons and respectful portrayals of certain characters or identities to the point of accepting your meta as canon (something you havent really dissuaded ever), and associating publicly with someone who would constantly do this kind of shit and then defending him publicly while also positing yourself as an authority isnt something you can just "oops! we never agreed with him!" yourself out of. GD & TF specifically, you are massive blogs. you are babys first TMA blog. people in your askbox hurt and betrayed by this shit are not necessarily there to victim blame you. they are there because they trusted your word when they said "hey seraf reblogged anti pan and anti ace and weird transphobic posts" and you said "seraf is one of my dearest friends and would never do any of those things and im personally offended youd even imply that." i think you dont understand the real life consequences of the massively popular posts and sentiments he made & published and that you helped spread (despite apparently knowing that he was being a massive hypocrite and bigoted towards those groups or identities in his personal life). obviously interpersonal abuse/conflict is going to be "worse" but dear god i hope you collectively understand that "oh btw we never endorsed his views" is a massive copout and a shit apology for the hurt this association and endorsement caused. tmc has been terrorizing this fucking fandom for months with his bullshit and bigotry and you have not been passive bystandars but active enablers.

anyways, hope everyone involved gets to uh, heal i suppose, but i think expecting the people who seraf suicide baited, the groups of trans men he misgendered, the people who he targeted and harassed, the genuine fucking long lasting dysphoria he caused real people to have over his shitty takes re: transness and dysphoria, and the general shit behavior he was allowed to keep up with zero pushback from anyone in his circle of the fandom to drop all the anger or frustration they have for the people who enabled him and defended him aggressively is... unrealistic. and makes you look bad. especially when the doc doesnt even clarify which opinions you still support.

[omegawolverine]

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

[burnedbyshoto]

@infinity2639 essay was really well made, it points out a lot of very true and concerning things, you should take a look at it.

for background, I wrote this chubby shouto just as a way to practice. it was done with the intentions of only being read by forty people at maximum honestly and it did pretty well for something I wrote in less than an hour, except I had one particular nasty comment from @infinity2639. now I won’t always say that comments are nasty, but they held no restraint in telling me that I was in the wrong for writing something like that - which of course they’re entitled to their opinion, but seeing that they were the only person to have this opinion i sought out how to improve on my writing because they spoke of how simple it was to fix. they then wrote a 21 paged “essay” which held no actual commentary on how to avoid writing such things, but instead ripped into every sentence and every word and chose to explain how it affected them. since it was a very me, me, me essay, I figured it was best to ignore it because I learned absolutely nothing from it other than the lengths people go to. so... consider this my response, and don’t come back asking for more details because I will not give any more.

so aside from the fact that the essay was written entirely on the basis that this one person decided to continue to read something that obviously triggered them instead of simply clicking off and realizing that this fic was not for them, let’s address these true and concerning things that they “pointed out.”

first and foremost this was a drabble, it was written on my phone and due to the nature of the content I went as far as to ask many people on how I dealt with the issues involving self image when you consider yourself to be fat/chubby/obese. I knew the dangers of what i was writing because yes, i’m not “qualified” enough to write on it from readers perspective, but I figured that maybe I could handle it from shouto’s. I got only positive reviews and feedback so I figured it was okay to move on.

this essay of theirs was obviously very, very personal - to the point where I will go as far as deeming it as being gatekeeping (this was supposed to be an essay on how to properly write on the topic of being self-fatphobic & writing healthy relationship dynamics, not a rant on how much they hated me). this was their opinion and in no way shape or form will I put them down for feeling this way. however, I will say if it made you uncomfortable yet you continued to read, it is not my fault nor shall you pin it on me.

you control your exposure to the content you come across.

the fact of the matter is that infinity and their supporting team of people are those i’m clearly having issues with right now, so it does little to make me believe that this is an actual issue and not boiled over emotions surrounding the ordeal on outside, uninvolved drama. i will admit that those own defensive emotions of mine are unwarranted because if you feel so strongly about my one work it doesn’t matter where you’ve aligned yourself, so i do apologize for initially not liking you - but seeing what you wrote and who you ranted to in those screenshots, i guess i wasn’t far fetched in my initial stance on you. the biggest thing again is that you decided to read something on chubby!shouto, you decided to continue to read through a fic that so very made you uncomfortable to the point that you were having panic attacks, you decided to finish it. I didn’t make you, I didn’t force you. when fics make you uncomfortable, click out of it. it is not my job as a writer to display only honey sweet intentions and if you’re expecting that, unfollow me.

moreover, i’m not an expert on this entire psychological thing - and I will admit that the only intelligence I have on it relies on things ive read, content i’ve watched, and my own personal feelings. obviously it wasn’t the best, I never have ever claimed to be someone who perpetuates only the cleanest and healthiest things even if I try to be well informed on the things I write because yes, while I don’t think you should learn from fiction, I understand that there are some people who do and I try to keep those in mind. the only thing I was trying to do was come at the fatphobic standpoint from a different angle. personally, if I say i’m fat, I don’t want people telling me that i’m not because I know the truth if I am or not. to me, fat has always been equated to being ugly/uglier. of course social norms today are evolving, but being fat is only deemed attractive if you are one curvy bitch, and I know for a fact that is not seen in every single person, so I tried a new approach. at the end of the day my opinion still is that being fat doesn’t make you ugly, and if that’s still an issue for you, are we really sure that i’m the fatphobic person here??? cuz it sounds like maybe it might actually be internalized in you.

but... it’s just.... concerning to me that the only people with your issues regarding my chubby!shouto post is basically you and only you. in the time it was posted I have gotten only positive reviews and anons. plentiful of anons and accounts have thanked me for my portrayal of the topic of being fat (after all, I was not discussing or debating the issues and technicalities of being fat, chubby, or obese) and going so far as telling me that your essay was complete bullshit, which I felt no reason to answer because still after all this time I keep my haters feelings in mind.

and i’m actually not a med student :( sorry that you esteem me so high that you believe that at 20 years old i’m already in medical school - so no, I don’t know the ins and outs of all of these things and i’m sure old doctors probably will fatshame and be much more fatphobic then I ever will be because again topics of being fat were different back then & fat itself isn’t universally applicable per person per case because everybody and person is different. people who have bmi’s far greater than mine are healthier and more fit than I am which is what matters at the end of the day. fat does not equate to health and beauty after all.

now the issues with the abusive relationship tendencies I guess you can pin that on me and my inability to elaborate my thoughts and intentions. verbally attacking was meant to be teasing but it didn’t sound correct/I couldn’t remember the word for teasing when I wrote it. i’m not always entirely articulate and I do fumble with my words and phrasings - as does anyone who writes for fun and not for a job - and if it hit you that deeply, i’m back to my square one thought!!!!!

stop reading things that make you uncomfortable :) it’s really not that hard at all, I promise.