#like waaaay back in I think November or December?

[bubblybloob]

I can't help now but imagine that when Cold finally falls prey to the hibernation scheme (as they all will, eventually 👁👁) Hunted will take the opportunity to put him in the washing machine until the mange crust is all gone.

First of all, who’s to say they fall to the hibernation? 👁️👁️

Secondly, NO DON’T WASHING MACHINE MY BOY I’VE BEEN THERE IT IS HELL HE WON’T SURVIVE-

[tanuki-02]

Progress Report

For 09.16.23 to 07.08.24

I plan on doing these progress reports weekly. Perhaps with the occasional post in between if I feel like I have some huge improvement within that day.

But for this first progrep, I'll try to detail as much as possible my learning from the day I started until now as I write this post.

For a little more info, I'm a 2nd year university student who is already fluent in 2 languages. I'd say my strong point is memorization which is incredibly helpful.

‎

— GOAL

Initially, I wanted to learn Japanese because of manga. Yes, I know fanlations exist and I can go buy physical English copies. However, English versions are waaaay more expensive and a lot of the manga I read have very slow fanlations or they've stopped translating it completely.

This brings me to my next point; I wanted to learn how to READ Japanese first and foremost. I hardly cared about other skills (but now I do understand their importance to the holistic learning of it all).

‎

— September '23 to November '23

I went into this language learning journey blindly. I had no idea where to start. But all I knew was that: 1.) Du*lingo is not your best option, 2.) DON'T use romaji to learn, 3.) Start kanji as early as you can. Looking back on it, I feel like these 3 points are important and I still do believe them now.

So, I went ahead and learned hiragana and katakana in less than 2 days. It was quite easy (although, katakana still does make my head spin sometimes).

After that, I went ahead and started with vocabs and kanji. Basically, I searched up vocab & kanji lists for the N5 level. After I found some good practice/list PDFs, I printed them out and used them as my main study material.

What I would do is to memorize them on my own accord (reading over and over again then, checking if I remember—rinse and repeat). I would say this worked out well for the first couple of months. The N5 lists had around 800 vocabs and 60 kanji which were pretty easy to memorize. I had this down in about a month. The following N4 lists had around an additional 800 vocab and 120 kanji. This one took me 2 months, but I'd say the mastery isn't as great as the N5.

With that in mind and the additional 4000 vocabs and 300 kanji that N3 offered, I started to doubt my method. It was then that I really began to search the web of an efficient way to learn this language.

It was then I discovered TheMoeWay and Anki.

‎

— December '23 to June '24

Plenty of people recommended TheMoeWay, so I had to check it out. It has a guide for the first 30 days of learning, but I ignored that because I was way past 30 days at this point. I read everything else and learned about spaced repetition systems (SRS); that's basically what Anki is.

It recommends to start with the N5 Tango Deck first and I did that. I began on December 6, 2023 and finished it on March 28, 2023. To consider it finished, all cards should be matured.

‎

‎

This deck was VERY easy for me at this point because the prior months of inefficient reviewing that I did. If I'm not mistaken, I did about 100 cards per day which explains why I was so fast.

I had to move on to N4 Tango Deck once I ran out of "New" cards in the first deck. So, at some point, I was doing both decks simultaneously. I began this one on January 17, 2024 and finished it on June 15, 2024.

‎

‎

Admittedly, this deck was a lot tougher than the last one for me at the time. I had to lower the daily card count to 50 (which is still a lot). But I can say after finishing both tango decks—vocabulary, kanji retention, and grammar—all improve drastically. These two decks are super duper helpful in the beginning and I would totally recommend them.

After accomplishing both decks, TheMoeWay says for you to create a mining deck of your own. So, as I was about to go through the N4 Tango Deck, I was deliberating whether or not I'd go through with what is recommended or go for something else.

I think making a mining deck would boost your skill by a huge margin, but I opted for the Core 2k/6k Japanese Vocabulary Deck which I learned from Livakivi on YouTube.

‎

— Current; July '24

I decided to take on the Core 2k/6k while I was doing the N4 Tango (This also explains why I did fewer cards 'cuz I was trying to balance both). I started this one on January 14, 2024 and I'm still getting through it little by little. By that I mean I'm not even halfway done haha.

This is what my progress looks like so far:

‎

‎

I'm doing 20 new cards per day while it's still summer break from university. Although, I'll definitely have to lower it once the semester starts. Maybe I'll go back to 10 or something.

Anyway, I found that by doing this, my retention for words and how they are spelled in hiragana have improved so much. Sometimes I can easily read random sentences on Japanese websites or books. Moreover, after doing this for some time, I found that my reading got a lot better (duh, you know more words). I can easily pass the N5 and N4 tests on the official JLPT website. The N3 tests... not so much just yet.

This brings me to my next point: I am lacking in grammar and reading comprehension. To remedy this, I've tried immersing a bit through reading news on NHK or random stories on Tadoku Graded Readers (honestly, boring, but I have to). I tried reading manga, but I'd skip so many speech bubbles that it made no sense anyway.

At the moment, I'm doing an Anki deck related to grammar, another one based on Tae Kim's guide, and a third one for listening comprehension (because my listening skills are also doodoo).

‎

TL;DR

I'd say I'm around the higher N4 level or maybe a very low N3. For my level, I'd say I'm pretty good at reading... everything else not so much. I barely do output so writing and speaking are non-existent skills for me and listening is something I only started now.

[thezombieprostitute]

Now I could be misremembering, but I’m giggling because I’m pretty sure waaaay back when you were just sharing the idea of the Garbage Men story, you were asking if it should be a oneshot or a couple of chapters. And now look where you are lolol. I love it so much!

I'll admit, this made me curious. Because, for me, it feels like I've been writing the Garbage Men for quite some time. I was pretty surprised with the timeline I found:

November 16, 2023 - I get the idea for Mafia Curtis and a plus size reader.

December 30, 2023 - I ask about a long one-shot vs. a mini-series. Go figure it'd end up being a full 10 parts!

February 6, 2024 - I ask about a Mace-centric story.

February 8, 2024 - I just decide to go for it and create an entire AU.

It feels so strange that the Garbage Men AU has only been around for about 6 months. I ran some numbers because I'm a sucker for stats. In the time I've been writing for the Garbage Men I've averaged ~423 words per day. And that ain't counting the stuff I've written for asks and non-AU stories.

And yet, I still don't feel like I'm doing enough to consider myself a writer. I feel like it's a curse many of us share; this sense of not being a "real writer". I'm gonna have to think on this and how to tamper my concerns about not writing enough.

[msbarrows]

Well, flubbed doing my thing of the day posts for, oh, almost the entire month of November. And there I'd been thinking I might actually make it a full year successfully (well, successful enough, there were a few times I missed it for several days and then had to catch up).

I missed it. Not so much doing of it, but being able to check back on things like when I last cooked particular meals for supper, or just how many days (or how few) the latest loaf of bread managed to survive, or when I'd last did different non-daily chores.

So, yeah, first day of December, first day of resuming my Thing of the Day posts. I'll also need to restart my count for managing to keep it up for at least a year straight.

December 1 - Picked up some ebooks on sale, including both of Robert Silverberg's Majipoor trilogies, which have been on my wishlist for years but were waaaay more expensive per volume than I wanted to spend on just replacing books I already own in dead tree form. But with four of the six dropped to the ~$2 range? You damn betcha I got the full set of both. I've mentally tagged that for a re-read some time later this month - it's been over a decade.

Ran about half of my monthly backups today, still need to dig out the drives from my emergency go bag to update them as well.

Also, finally dusted off LotRO and tried out the new Mariner class, in addition to popping for the new River Hobbit race, because they can be mariners and I didn't feel like rolling another man, high elf, or stout-axe dwarf when there was a shiny new racial option (well, new as of August just past).

She turned out very pretty. Named her Windolen (after the usual dozen or so attempts to find a name that wasn't already in use by someone else):

The new hobbits have a ton of facial adjustment sliders that prior races didn't have, plus a lot of new hair styles, including a whole pile of braided/cornrow/wavy ones, which is always nice to see. I'm kind of hoping they have the ability (and decide to) retrofit the existing player character models with the new adjustment sliders. And some new hairstyles. Which yeah would be a lot of work to put in on a game that was released 15+ years back (and was in development starting a fair few years prior to that) but it would be nice to have the option.

Made a very simple supper of oven fries and chicken fingers (rather than a pork roast I was originally planning on doing), as my brother is doing plumbing work and this afternoon asked me not to use the kitchen sink until after he replaces its drain pipe tomorrow. So, meal that didn't need water usage, nor generated much in the way of dishes to sit around until the sink is back in commission.

[screadingchallenge]

Behind the Keyboard: Volume 6

Behind the Keyboard is a series of interviews with different Schitt’s Creek fanfic authors. The series will last as long as there is interest (from authors) and capacity (from me). If you are an author from the Schitt’s Creek fandom who would like to participate, send a DM to this account.  

Each author was given ten questions. The first five questions are the same for every author, the last five will vary.

Remember, this year’s Reading Challenge begins July 15, so polish up those MFL lists.

Let’s meet our next author:

thefirstmrshummel / @thefirstmrshummel

How many fics have you written?

45 fanfics in three different fandoms – The X-Files, Glee and Schitt’s Creek

When did you publish your first fic on AO3?

I first published a fic on AO3 in October of 2012. Prior to that I posted on fanfiction.net, and my first fic there was posted November of 2010. My very first fic, Donation, was posted to Gossamer (an X-Files fanfic archive) waaaay back in 2000.

Yes, I am a Fandom Old.

Describe your writing process from “Oh, I have an idea” to pushing publish on AO3.

I do a lot of writing in my head before I actually put words on the page. I’ll picture the various scenes, like what the characters are wearing, facial expressions, how the dialogue sounds. Then I’ll start writing from beginning to end – I’m a very linear writer, so I never skip around or write scenes out of order. I’ll usually edit when I’m done over the course of a couple of days before uploading to AO3.

Tell me about your most recent fic? What do you love about it? Is there anything you think you could have done better?

Ugh, I’m so sad that my latest fic was back in December of 2020!  It was The Best Decorations for the Schitt’s Creek: Frozen Over 2020 Fest. [The Best Decorations]

What I loved about it – I really liked exploring how Patrick still has to fight the urge to keep secrets. I feel like if you spent as many years as he did hiding things from the people he loves in order to protect them, it wouldn’t be the sort of thing you could just stop doing on a dime. That kind of habit sticks around a long time, if it even ever goes away.  I also really love writing David being loving, compassionate, and willing to compromise with his husband.

What I could have done better – I wish I could have fleshed it out a little bit more. It tells the story I wanted it to, but I feel like it could have used more scenes, particularly with David and/or Patrick interacting with other characters and not just each other.

What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about publishing their fic for the first time?

Well, first of all, just do it! I remember when I posted my first Glee fic I thought no one would read it, or if they did, the comments would all say that it sucked rocks.  But my goodness, the feedback was truly amazing right from the start. It’s scary to put yourself out there (said Patrick Brewer once I think lol), but fanfic is the one writing medium where you have a built-in interest from the start.  Fans love these characters and they are often voracious for more than just what they’ve been given on screen.

The only other advice I can really give is to make sure that your story is formatted correctly and has decent spelling and grammar. You can have the best story in the world, but if it’s a struggle for people to read or understand what you’ve written it won’t get the appreciation it deserves.

Outlines - yes or no?

No – I have a general idea in my head of what I want to cover and include, but I rarely write any of it down. I’ve never done a formal outline at all.

Are you interested in writing original fiction?

Funny that you ask!  I actually do write original fiction – I have two novels, a novella, and a short story published under the pen name Laurin Kelly. They were originally published by an LGBTQ publishing house called Less Than Three Press, but they sadly went out of business in 2015.  I have self-published all of my backlist on Amazon KDP, and am currently working on the sequel to my 3rd book.

Tell me about a fic you’ve read that always makes you cry?

There are SO MANY, but for sure @blueink3’s Let Your Heart Be Light series and @nontoxic-writes’s You and My Hometown are always a guaranteed sob-fest. I am such a sucker for mutual pining and second-chance romance!

Do your IRL friends and family know you write fic?

My husband and adult daughter know about the fanfiction.  There are slightly more people who know about my original works, but I keep those pretty close to my chest as well.

What’s a fic (by any author) you love that you don’t think enough people know about?

Oooh, good question!

The Dappled with the Flickers of Light series by @yourbuttervoicedbeau​ is so amazingly written and should get all the love! Talk about a RarePair – it’s about the very non-canonical relationship between Rachel and Jake, and is my favorite take on Rachel post-The Barbecue that I’ve ever read. I would encourage everyone to give it a try – I bet you’ll get hooked after the first story! [Editor’s note: doingthemost ( @sarahlevys​) has also contributed to that series.]

[peterman-spideyparker]

Where’d I Go Wrong? (Peter Parker x Reader) (Best Friends to Enemies AU)

Author’s Note: Heya! It’s been a while! The semester started waaaay early this fall to accommodate for everything that has been going on with Covid, and they want to make sure that people have enough time to move off of campus come November/December. That being said, we have no vacations, days off, and extra homework. But, I signed up for @mermaidxatxheart​‘s writing challenge, and, by gum, I made sure it was done and ready for posting! I hope everyone likes it! Enjoy! :)

Summary: You needed your toes to count how many years you knew Peter, and you needed just as many to count the years that you were best friends--the key word being “were.” With Peter being more distant (and you knowing why), you took actions into your own hands, and now you have to deal with the consequences.

Other Characters: Tony Stark

Word Count: 1,936

Warnings: Mention of violence and angst, angst, angst

“Why?” Peter asks after an eternity of silence. You can’t bring yourself to look into his eyes because you know how they will look. Red from crying—whether it be out of anger or genuine sadness. The judgement of his brown irises. The anguish of betrayal from his best friend of almost 15 years. The devastation and guilt that he holds himself responsible for what happened. You know what they look like because you’ve have seen it all in your own eyes. The way that you know they differ is that while yours will always try to justify your actions, his will never forgive you for the rest of his days. So you just stay silent and stare at the right hand corner of the stainless steel table.

“Why?” he repeats, and this time you hear the emotion in his voice. “Why did you do this, (Y/N)?”

“There’s nothing that I can say that will make you understand,” you say, still avoiding his gaze. 

“I need to understand.”

“And I need to understand why you lied to me. Looks like neither of us will be getting answers to our questions.”

“People could have died, (Y/N).”

“But they didn’t. Everything was calculated so that wouldn’t happen. If people got hurt, I made sure they were taken care of.”

Peter slams his fists onto the table. “Why?” he repeats one more time, his voice broken and full of emotion. “How could you do this? How did you become this person?”

“I guess with every superhero, a villain gets their origin story.”

“The world will be a better place with you locked up in here forever,” he finally says, his voice cold and hurt, leaning back in his chair. “You’re a monster.”

“Is that all?” you ask, finally looking at him in the eyes, doing your best to not show emotion to the broken boy before you.

“I hope I never have to see you again,” he says, his voice low and thick with emotion before he pushes his chair back and leaves the visitation room.

“You have visitor,” the guard tells you. 

“No one visits me anymore,” you explain.

“I have a feeling you’ll want to see this one. And I don’t think he’ll be leaving without seeing you.”

You let out a sigh and sit up, letting the guard hand cuff you and lead you to the visitors lounge, but you soon become confused when he leads you to a private room. He opens the door an ushers you in, and you see man in an impeccable three piece suit waiting at the stainless steel table. He turns his head and you feel your eyes grow wide.

“You look surprised,” he smirks. 

“You wouldn’t be wrong,” you tell him, taking your seat across from the billionaire. “I’m sorry this is how we had to meet. Peter spoke the world of you, Mr. Stark.”

“He did the same about you,” he says, taking off his sunglasses and putting them in a pocket. “So why’d you do it?”

“I didn’t tell Peter. I’m not telling you.”

“You didn’t tell Peter because you care about him. You don’t care about me. Therefore, you can tell me.”

“I can’t,” you say quietly.

“He’s not the same since all of this. He’s closed off. People have to force him to eat. It’s like he’s a shell of who he was. So tell me why you did it.”

“No,” you breathe.

“The kid’s a wreck—.”

“So am I!” you snap before you catch myself, closing your eyes and biting your lower lip. “I think we’re done here.”

“Not quite,” Mr. Stark says, holding up his hand.

“What else could you possibly want from me?”

“I want to hear your side. From the beginning. I want to understand to help Pete get through this. Don’t you want him to get better?”

You swallow hard and try to hide a tear. “Where do you want me to start?”

“So, what’s on the docket for tonight, Parker?” you smile as you sit next to him on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. 

“Well,” he says, taking a handful of the snack and stuffing it into his mouth. “We’ve got the complete series of ‘Avatar,’ ‘The Flash’, I just found out that they have ‘What’s New Scooby-Doo?’ on Netflix—.”

You laugh and hit him with one of the throw pillows. 

“Hey!” he squeaks. “The popcorn!”

“I’m sorry, but if I hadn’t cut you off when I did, I knew I’d be hearing you list stuff for ten minutes.”

“Okay, fair. So, what sounds good for you?”

“Um, what about—.”

Just as you are about to offer your suggestion, Peter’s phone rings. 

“No,” you whine. “This is our third time trying to do this! Please don’t pick it up!”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). It’s the Stark Internship,” he says, giving me a deeply apologetic look. “Hi, Mr. Stark. Uh huh. Okay. Alright. I’ll be right there.”

“Peter Benjamin Parker!” you scold. 

“(Y/N) this is important. This internship—.”

“—is super important and will open up so many doors for you. Yeah, I know,” you sigh, leaning back in the couch, folding your arms. “It’s just . . . I put aside things that are important to me for you. It just feels like a one way street with us lately.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” he says with downtrodden puppy eyes. “But you know that this internship could mean for my future, right?”

You sigh, putting the popcorn on the coffee table and doing his question. “I have some things I need to work on, anyways.”

“(Y/N), I promise, we’ll do this next week. Uninterrupted. I promise.”

“You swear?”

“I swear.”

He looks at you, his brown eyes pleading. 

“You’re lucky you’re my best friend Peter, because if anyone else tried to pull this crap, they’d be missing their front teeth.”

“This is one of the many reasons you’re my best friend,” Peter tells you with a crooked smile and a tight hug.

“If Ned hears you say that, he might have a conniption, so, I’ll keep it between us. Now go . . . intern, and things.”

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Peter says as he rushes in.

“Four hours is a little more than late,” you sigh. “It’s completely forgotten about.”

“(Y/N), I’m here now,” he says, stopping me from leaving. “We can still do what we planned.”

“You’ve been saying that for months! Months, Peter. This night—just like all of the others—can’t be salvaged, Peter.”

“(Y/N), please—!”

“No, Peter! I can’t keep doing this, and I can’t stomach one more excuse. Is there anything you want to tell me? Something about the internship? What you’re doing? Anything at all?”

Peter just stands and stares, his eyes telling you everything while his mouth remains closed.

“Okay,” you sigh. “Call me when you figure things out and can tell me the truth.”

“Please, don’t leave.”

“No, I think I have to, Peter.”

“So that’s why you did all this?” Tony asks, still looking quite confused. “You wanted to get back at Peter because you were mad at him?”

“No,” you sigh. “That’s not why I did it.”

“Then why? Based on what you have told me, that’s what I’m getting here.”

“I knew that whenever he said ‘Stark Internship,’ he meant superheroing around with you and the Avengers.”

“You knew Pete was—?”

“Oh yeah. I’ve been best friends with him since we were in diapers. There’s nothing he can keep hidden from me, no matter how hard he tries.” You sigh and close my eyes, a single tear rolling down your cheek, and you lean you wipe it away as quickly as it came. “Everyone knew he was Spider-Man. May, MJ, Ned—everyone that was close to him. But he didn’t tell me. He didn’t trust me. I know he was probably trying to protect me, but, I felt betrayed. I felt like he thought I couldn’t keep the secret. But most of all, he left me alone to wonder if he was dead or alive. So, I figured that if at least I was the villain, I knew I could keep him safe and unhurt while spending some time with him.”

“Why didn’t you just confront Peter about it?”

“He’d deny it and lie to me.”

“Have you told him any of this? Don’t you think there’s the possibility he’d understand?”

“I don’t want him to know any of this. I’d rather have him live his life hating me than trying to repair our friendship.”

“What?”

“He’d be willing to put in the effort,” you continue. “But he would always come back to what I did. A part of him will always hate me forever, and it’s just easier for me to deal with him hating me outright then secretly resenting me.”

“Are you even sorry that this happened?”

“Incredibly sorry. I look at myself in the mirror here and I can’t recognize the person staring back. I hate who I see,” you say, swallowing hard

“Does Peter know this?”

“No. And it’s for the same reason I just told you.”

“I just have one more question for you. Why’d you stop that night?” he asks quietly.

“What?”

“The night you go arrested, you were fighting the kid and then you just stopped. Why? You didn’t stop any other night, but you stopped in the middle of your tracks and surrendered.”

“His mask came off,” you tell him, your voice cracking. “I always knew it was Peter I was fighting. But his mask came off of a good portion of his face. I could see his face and the fear in his eyes . . . blood, and . . . I was the one hurting him. I was hurting my best friend. I couldn’t do it.”

“Kid—.”

“Can I please go back into my cell now?”

“Just tell Peter this,” he insists. “I’m telling you, if Peter knows—.”

“I can’t, Mr. Stark. Please let me leave.”

“I can get you a good lawyer. You’re gonna serve time, but probably not as much—.”

“No,” you say. “I want—. I hurt my best friend in so many different ways. People got injured. I deserve to be in here. Peter said it himself: the world is a better place because I’m in here.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean that. He was just mad.”

“No,” I say. “His eyes . . . He meant every last word. He never wants to see me again. So if I couldn’t do our friendship right, I can at least do this right for him. I have to do this right for him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, kid. Peter—.”

“Guard?” you call, closing your eyes and letting out a deep breath. “I’d like to go back to my cell now, if that’s okay with you.”

The door opens right on cue, and the guard helps you stand and keep balance with the chains on your ankles before he puts the cuffs on your wrists.

“We’re not finished, here,” Tony says, trying to convince the guard not to take you.

“I’ve told you everything you’ve wanted to know,” you tell him. “At least do me a favor, though?”

Tony just looks at you, confused and disappointed.

“Tell Peter it was always him. And he did nothing wrong.”

“Wha—?” Tony squints as you walk past him and out of the room. “Wait!”

You are still able to hear Tony’s protests as the door shuts, and even still further down the hallway. All you can do is hang your head and silently cry, letting your feelings eat you up from the inside.

Permanent Taglist: @majesticavenger​ @steampowerednightvaler​​ @themusingsofmany​ @just-the-hiddles​

[astralibrary]

2020 art summary!!!

i always struggle to pick just one artwork sometimes and in the past i’ve tried to get around that by making a HUGE compilation of ALL of my favorite artworks/sketches over the year, but it turns out that’s waaaay too much work SO this year i’ve compromised by making myself a template which allows me to choose anywhere between 1 to 3 pieces per month, and i think it works a lot better! still ended up struggling to narrow it down to three for some months but what are u gonna do lol

anyway WOW i drew a lot this year!! probably one of my most productive years possibly ever? ever since repetitive strain hit me at the tail end of 2015 i’ve struggled to get back on my feet with drawing and with digital art in particular, and this year it feels like something just clicked and i finally finally hit my stride, which feels awesome!

to sum it all up by month:

january and february were a little slow, but at least i had eizouken? also got experimental with colors, that was fun

at the end of february my sibling lent me their drawing tablet (much bigger and nicer than my uhhh 14 y/o bamboo fun), so i had a bit of a drawing boom in march and april. briefly became obsessed with yugioh and danny phantom, it was a fun time

may was a little slower, but right at the end i gained access to an ipad with procreate, which opened up a WHOLE NEW WORLD to me. as a result of this june and beyond is where things REALLY start to pop off

the end of may-july was spent primarily working on that animation, which was SO much fun and i am still very proud of!! the remainder of july was spent on the 6 fanarts challenge aaaaa that took me so long

in august i drew a lot but posted almost nothing lol first u can see the wip of my annual portrait of my oc silan, which is usually something i’m meant to do in may but u know..... 2020.... so i never ended up finishing it fully but i did most of the work in august so! the other thing i did was design a bunch of new ocs (that’s celestine on the right)

september..... the month of natsumes...... i started watching natsume yuujinchou which VERY rapidly became my number one Big Interest, and then i also watched (and LOVED) deca-dence, another anime in which the protagonist is named natsume. therefore: The Month of Natsumes

in october the OC-tober challenge took over my life #ISurvived

in november i drew Very Many natsuyuu fanarts but also i really like that gojo and neku so they get some recognition too

finally, december! an entire month of the Secret Santa Grind because i entered two of them due to having no self control heehoo but! i couldn’t be happier with the results like Wow i am so proud of myself for setting a big goal and Accomplishing that goal?? feels good!!!

so yeah despite Everything this ended up being a really good year for me art-wise! hoping to carry this momentum forward into 2021 and continue to make great things, and i wish you all the same!! ✨

[nerianasims]

Billboards #1 1962

Under the cut.

Joey Dee And The Starliters – “Peppermint Twist – Part 1″ -- January 27, 1962

This is a version of The Twist that apparently exists to promote/capitalize on The Peppermint Lounge, a big New York club run by a mafioso. It was formerly a gay bar. I'd love to read a full history of the place. The song just sort of... exists.

Gene Chandler – “Duke Of Earl” -- February 17, 1962

I have a personal problem with this song. My dad loved it. Which means I was sick to death of it by the time I was 12. I cannot even try to be fair to it.

Bruce Channel – “Hey! Baby” -- March 10, 1962

We played this and sang the chorus in high school band at basketball games. So um. The harmonica part is good. Also when I hear it, it's weighted with waaaay more sexual tension and general drama than is actually within the song. Trying to separate my memories from it, I think it's pretty good.

Connie Francis – “Don’t Break The Heart That Loves You” -- March 31, 1962

Slow and twangy. The narrator's s.o. is flirting with others and being careless. Connie sings with a lot of emotion. One of the lines in the spoken word section is, "Love is life's greatest joy." While I connect with that line, in the context of Connie Francis' eternally heart-broken oeuvre it's pretty hilarious. Too schmaltzy by a degree, with no bite at all.

Shelly Fabares – “Johnny Angel” -- April 7, 1962

Fabares was good on Coach. Not in this song so much. The backup singers are far more interesting. It's a song about having a crush on a guy who doesn't even know she exists. Which is relatable up to the point where other guys call her for dates and she doesn't bother with them because she'd rather sit around dreaming about this guy. Of course, if she actually talked to him she might find out he's a person and not an angel. That kind of thing drove me nuts when my friends did it in high school, so I'm not kindly disposed to this song.

Elvis Presley – “Good Luck Charm” -- April 21, 1962

Elvis sounds like he's doing an Elvis impression in this thing. It's hard to pay attention to what he's singing when it's so overladen with schtick. Irritating.

The Shirelles – “Soldier Boy” -- May 5, 1962

The narrator is in love with a soldier boy. That's it, he's a soldier boy and she loves him -- there's no implied fear or heartache in it. This was around the beginning of the Vietnam War, so I feel bad about what I'm about to say. This song is like nails on a chalkboard to me. The way The Shirelles sing the song, they sound about ten years old. Though I don't know how else they could have sung this melody, which I can't call anything but childish. The Shirelles were capable of so much better than this.

Mr. Acker Bilk – “Stranger On The Shore” -- May 26, 1962

It's a clarinet instrumental. I suppose smooth jazz, but so smooth that I'm not sure "jazz" is the right term. I like it though. It's easy to listen to it, relax, and imagine yourself being swept up by a stranger on the shore. Just a nice little song.

Ray Charles – “I Can’t Stop Loving You” -- June 2, 1962

Ray, I will never stop loving you. In this song, the narrator has lost his love and is determined to live in his memories of yesterday. And, as with all Ray Charles' songs, I believe him entirely. Even with the very 1962 chorus in the background, which only serves to highlight his raw and honest style.

David Rose – “The Stripper” -- July 7, 1962

It's an instrumental. It's that instrumental. You have heard it many, many times. Wailing horns that somehow leer, along with boom-ta-tish. This was a #1 hit? I guess strip clubs back then could send songs to the top of the charts too.

Bobby Vinton – “Roses Are Red (My Love)” -- July 14, 1962

Bored. The woman this guy dated in high school married someone else and he's looking at a picture of the baby she had with the other guy. It could make for a good country song. But as it is, the music is unbearably gloopy.

Neil Sedaka – “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” -- August 11, 1962

I'm trying to remember if there were as many breakup/heartbreak songs that were massive hits when I was in high school and still paying attention to hits as there were the first few years of the Billboard charts. I'm gonna say no. Anyway, this guy doesn't want to break up because it's hard to do. He doesn't sound too upset, and definitely not romantic. He's not happy either -- just kinda whiny. Meh.

Little Eva – “The Loco-Motion” -- August 25, 1962

It's The Loco-Motion. Which I don't think I've ever actually done, as many times as I've danced to this song. It's still a good dance song.

Tommy Roe – “Sheila” -- September 1, 1962

It's about how much this guy loves Sheila. He sure calls her "little" and "little girl" a lot. "We're so doggone happy". Musically there's nothing wrong with the song. It's the lyrics. I find them incredibly annoying.

The Four Seasons – “Sherry” -- September 15, 1962

Sha-aaa-aaa-aa-aa-aa-rie bay-ay-bee. If you hate falsetto, you'll hate this song. While it seems to be a traditional peppy teenage love song, the way Frankie Valli sings it almost tips it over into novelty territory. I find it fun and irritating at the same time.

Bobby “Boris” Pickett And The Crypt-Kickers – “Monster Mash” -- October 20, 1962

It's a novelty song, but a great one. "Great" and "novelty song" aren't supposed to go together. Let alone "classic" and "novelty song." But this one does it. I've heard it many times every October of my life, and I still like it even though it interferes with my birthday. I think that's because it's also a really good dance song.

The Crystals – “He’s A Rebel” -- November 3, 1962

Apparently the version of this song that became a hit was by The Blossoms, led by Darlene Love, and not The Crystals. It's Phil Spector's fault because of course it is. And here's where I get to say: Phil Spector is this towering legend musically. (And towering monster morally.) But there are plenty of times I don't like his "wall of sound," and this is one of them. It sounds overproduced and headache-inducing. Since it gives me actual pain, I can't listen to it enough to decide what I think of it, other than that Darlene Love deserved better.

The Four Seasons – “Big Girls Don’t Cry -- November 17, 1962

Valli's falsetto in this one makes me actually angry. It doesn't help that the lyrics do too. At first, they're good, with the narrator being shocked that his girlfriend doesn't cry when he dumps her. But then she's crying in the last verse, because who wouldn't be upset over losing a screeching, shouting manchild? I like to think she's crying over having wasted any time at all with this jackass. Or maybe she heard his falsetto and now she has a headache.

The Tornados – “Telstar” -- December 22, 1962

Well this is weird. It's a space age instrumental. I am in favor of weird, but I don't like whatever keyboard setting is used through most of the song. It's yet another headache for me. It's also an obnoxiously peppy song, like you WILL be happy or you will be taken away for processing.

BEST OF 1962: "I Can't Stop Loving You." Nothing else comes close. Worst of 1962: "Big Girls Don't Cry."

[iredreamer]

Thank you so much for your insights on Anne's life and the details of social norms back then! I really enjoyed reading your posts, and it's absolutely fascinating! I have seen some controversy around her relationship with Ann. Aside from the show of course, what is your perspective on their relationship?(I have read in a couple of places that Anne kind of just "settled" for Ann and her heart really lied with Mariana) So I was wondering, as someone who read about both the Ann(e)s what you think?

hey :) I’m finally answering you! Thank you so much, I’m happy you’re enjoying the history facts haha.

Okay, this turned out to be waaaay longer than I thought, so grab a cup of coffee (or tea I guess) and sit comfortably!

First of all, I think this is a difficult answer because I do feel like everyone could elaborate their own opinion on the matter, and at the end we would never know were the truth really lies. To have some kind of unbiased opinion one should read every single entry of Anne’s diary about Miss Walker and Mariana and compare how she acts with both of them and how she writes about them, and of course that can’t be done (at least for now) so…this is my opinion and it’s of course based on what I have read (my sources: Gentleman Jack: The Real Anne Lister; Presenting the past: Anne Lister of Halifax, 1791-1840; Nature’s Domain: Anne Lister and the Landscape of Desire and Female Fortune: Land, Gender and Authority: The Anne Lister Diaries and Other writings). We should also consider that these two women [Walker and M] were really different from each other and Anne meets them in two very different moments of her life, when she meets Mariana she’s in her 20s and when she meets Ann she’s 41, in twenty years a person changes, their priorities change and even the way of showing love and affection changes.

Okay, now, about the Mariana-Anne-Ann thing…I already wrote something about the matter and you can find it here, it summarizes a little what I think about Anne & Ann’s relationship and also has some facts about how things went between them and with Mariana.

I also posted some extracts from Anne’s 1832 diary in which she says more than once that she feels like she’s falling in love with Miss Walker and that: “I really am getting much more in love than I expected to be again”. So let’s debunk the myth that she didn’t give a flying fuck about Ann Walker.

Now, let’s dive in, I have many thoughts about all of this and I tried to organize them as best as I could but I probably failed, so this might be a bit of a rant and all over the place, I hope you enjoy reading it anyway! And, one more thing, most of this long rant focuses on the Ann(e)s relationship and what are (some of) the things and facts that make me think that they did love each other and that Anne Lister did care about Miss Walker. Here we go…

Anne Lister wanted a wife. She says it many many times. She’s always writing how she wants someone to spend her life with, and when she comes back to Shibden at 41 she wants to settle down. She’s tired of all those women who used her for sex, company and sometimes even money without seriously committing to her (and yes, Mariana is one of those women). I love when at the beginning of Nature’s Domain Liddington writes that Anne Lister could have adapted the opening of Pride and Prejudice: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in need of a good fortune must be in want of a wife”. So, she was in search of a wife…

In 19th century marriage was a “legal agreement”, you didn’t marry for love but for money, so, yes, that’s what Anne was looking for in a woman: money and status, but also the desire of a happy life together. When she meets Ann and decides to court her she writes many times how she likes her company and how she wants to make her happy and how happy that would make her in return: “I really think I can make her happy & myself too”. And: “She [Miss Walker] falls into my views of things admirably. I believe I shall succeed with her - if I do, I will really try to make her happy - & I shall be thankful to heaven for the mercy of bringing me home, having first saved me from Vere, rid me of M-, & set me at liberty.” I think the fact that she was looking for happiness and thought she could really achieve it with Miss Walker is often overlooked and it shouldn’t be, it’s an important fact.

One of the things that struck me while reading Anne’s diary is that, when things don’t go as she planned, she writes again and again how she doesn’t care about Miss Walker, how she doesn’t care how things will turn out in the end, how she doesn’t care if Ann decides to commit to her or not, but her actions and her behavior conflict with all that. It seems as if she’s trying to convince herself that she doesn’t care, to protect herself from going through another heartbreak. This is an example, Ann had to give Anne a final answer about their commitment, Anne writes:

November 2, 1832 / We fretted ourselves to sleep last night - she lay on me as usual to warm her stomach & then lay in my arms – but I was perfectly quiet & never touched her queer – the tears silently trickling from my cheeks down hers. Somehow I was shockingly attendri [softened] tho’ perpetually saying to myself ‘Well, I care not how she decides…’. On awaking found myself as tearful as ever (…) We wept (& kissed) – I thanked her & she left me. (…) Both of us attendries & the tears starting perpetually I said my mind was made up for the worst – she said ‘Well, but she had not given her answer yet’…. She would (& did) mend my gloves – begged me to promise to let her have a night-chemise for a pattern – but she saw I declined promising. She hoped she should do many more things for me – never knew till now how much she was attached to me. I made no reply… she hung upon me & cried & sobbed aloud at parting… ‘Well’, said I to myself as I walked off, ‘a pretty scene we have had, but surely I care not much & shall take my time of suspense very quietly & be easily reconciled either way’.

The most important fact (I think) that gives us some insight on how Anne felt about Miss Walker, is that Anne was the only one who genuinely cared about Ann’s health. Anne Walker’s mental health was really bad but Anne stayed close to Miss Walker and helped her for months, trying to make her feel better, trying to restore her health. At that time the engagement was off, so it’s not like she [Anne Lister] was acting like that because she hoped her kindness would convince Ann Walker to marry her, it’s not like she was doing it for the money, she was doing it because Ann needed her. In her diary she says how the situation is unbearable for her, but still, she doesn’t leave Ann’s side. Why do this? It was all off, she didn’t have any obligation to look after Ann. Why take such responsibility? Why stay in a situation that threatened her happiness and mood if she didn’t care?

Anne Lister writes, again, how she doesn’t care about Miss Walker but then ends up crying when the thought of her crosses her mind: “Seeing her always unhinges me…I was low and in tears at dinner and could not get her out of my head and why? For if I had her what could I do with her?” Come on…it’s hard for me to think that the sadness she felt was only because things didn’t go as she planned, it’s hard for me to think that she cries only for the money. Do we really have to think her that cold? I think Anne couldn’t stay away from her really: “This girl, without really having my esteem or affection, somehow or other unhinges me whenever I see her…“.

When they see each other again, after being away from each other for 10 months (during that time they kept a correspondence even if it wasn’t a direct one), they are very happy to reunite and they end up together again: “Much talk last night till 4 this morning and then not asleep for a long while. She [Miss Wlaker] repented having left me”. Anne Walker starts talking about wanting to commit again and at the end they marry each other. Was their journey an easy one? No. Was it an happy one? Not always. But I do believe they cared for each other.

And I just wanna say, in those 10 months they spent apart, Anne Lister never tried to find a serious partner, she was always flirting and shit because that’s who she was, but she always wrote how she didn’t want to go too far with anyone and she just kept thinking about Ann Walker, even if she didn’t want to think about her, even if it was all off. She worried when letters about Ann Walker stopped coming. I mean, come on…

So, fast forward to their marriage and what happened after it. Mariana tried to tempt Anne but with no luck. Anne went to visit her for Christmas and this is what happened, from Anne Lister’s diary:

December 23, 1834 / I led the conversation to A- [Ann Walker]; said I liked [her], was more than comfortable and whatever might be said, money had nothing to do with it. M- [Mariana] asked if it was true that she has three thousand a year - I said no, but our fortunes would be about equal and that we should have five thousand a year… I was thankful things were as they were, for I was determined to have [some]one and certainly could not have done better.

December 25, 1834 / M- [Mariana] came to me a little before eight and staid till nine in bed with me - rather in the pathetics - she cannot get over her love for me - but I behaved with perfect propriety

Anne comes back home to Ann Walker (they were already living together, Ann Walker moved in at Shibden Hall after their marriage, going against her family) I think they’re cute:

December 26, 1834 / A- [Anne Walker] jumped up & came to me in her dressing gown & clock, delighted to see me back again - had given up in despair. Had tea - the 1st thing we did was to laugh aloud at her droll figure & the bustle I had made - explained, sat talking - told her I myself was astonished how little I had thought of M-, either of going or returning - very glad to be back again - mentioned how I had offered her the use of Shibden in the event of Charles’s death. 

Reading her diary entries (from 1833 till 1836) it’s clear that she and Ann talked a lot, their sex life was great, Anne introduced Ann to her social circle, they had fun playing backgammon (fun fact: Ann Walker was really better at it than Anne Lister ahaha), and yeah, they were just like any other married couple. There were also bad things in their marriage: Anne Lister had to be the one introducing Ann Walker to new people, Anne Lister read all Ann Walker’s letters and always suggested how to answer, and more…

So, what’s the point of all this? I do think that Anne Lister cared and loved Ann Walker. For sure the relationship with Ann Walker was not the most romantic one she had, but it was the most serious one, they found each other. Both of them wanted a “traditional marriage” and by traditional marriage I mean a marriage in which the roles were very clear. Ann Walker wanted someone who could take care of the business estate, manage social relationships and basically “play the husband” and Anne Lister was more than happy to take on that role. They were polar opposites but they wanted the same things in life.

For sure their marriage wasn’t perfect, but Anne behaved as she did because she saw their union as a serious one, “she saw absolutely no reason why property should not be as important a consideration for Ann and herself as it would be in any heterosexual alliance.” [J. Liddington, Female Fortune] at the same time we shouldn’t forget that “she did often demonstrate a warm affection and care for Ann” [J. Liddington, Female Fortune].

About her relationship with Mariana, I haven’t read much of Anne’s entries about her, but from the little I’ve read and from various commentaries, I can say that she for sure loved her (and yes Mariana was her first real love and their relationship went on for something like 20 years). Mariana manipulated her and led her on for years. The two always talked about how when M’s husband died they would live together, but from 1830 Anne Lister kinda stops caring about it, she’s tired of the situation and hates to be second to anyone. Their relationship deteriorates with time. She even wrote about Mariana that their passion turned into friendship or something along those lines. If you wanna know more about Anne & Mariana’s relationship I really suggest watching this video of Helena Whitbread talking about it, it really sheds some light on their relationship, their dynamic and how badly Mariana hurt Anne.

What I believe: Anne’s love for Mariana was disinterested and wholeheartedly felt, there’s no doubt about that (I mean, she saw her when she was 19 and fell in love with her right in that moment), if Mariana hadn’t been the bitch she was, Ann Walker would have never came in the picture. But the truth is that Mariana was always ashamed of Anne, used her and kept her close, taking advantage of her love but never committing to her, always and only concerned about her status. So, in conclusion, I’m happy Anne found someone like Ann who was brave enough to be with her and make her as happy as she could, and I think that must have meant something in the end.

I hope this long thing I wrote gives you an idea of the dynamic between Anne and these two women. There’s for sure a lot more to say and to analyze and there are still many Anne Lister’s words that haven’t seen the light of day so, who knows what else is there to know about how she truly felt about these two.

And one more thing, I think we shouldn’t expect Anne Lister to be the romantic heroine we would like her to be, because she wasn’t. She was a flawed, not “very nice” woman who lived in the 19th century and tried to do all she could to be happy.

[toxicpineapple]

my (personal favourite) writings from 2019

I don’t have anything for January because I guess I didn’t write/didn’t post anything then? At any rate, here are my favourite writings from every month of 2019.

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February:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17764769/chapters/41916899 : “To Give Life Meaning”, a 5+1 things Hinanami fic I wrote over the course of several days, mostly at night. The honourific situation with this one is messy and there are the beginnings of a lot of good lines? Like I know what I was trying to say. But it’s not the kind of thing that I would be happy posting nowadays. (Ignore the fact that it says it was completed in September of this year; I went through nine months later and separated the different sections into chapters so that it would be easier to read. I wrote and published all of it back in February.) This was the second Danganronpa fic I ever wrote.

Content warnings: Contains talk of suicide, and mentions of being suicidal. Generally in the past tense. Nobody is proactive in this fic.

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March:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18232343 : “Hold his hand”, the very first Amasai one-shot I ever wrote. I got the idea for this one late at night thinking about how Shuichi would react if his mom died. I was actually going to write this with Ryoma comforting him, or Kiyo maybe, but I ended up doing Rantaro because I watched all of his FTEs with Shuichi and was like… I do like this green man. Anyway, I’m glad I did, because if I hadn’t I don’t know if the Amasai series would… even exist. That’s really weird to think about.

Content warnings: Minor character death on the part of Shuichi’s mother. The focus of the piece isn’t her dying (as it is in fact from Rantaro’s perspective) so much as it is the conflicting emotions that it stirs up for Shuichi, but it’s still, y’know, someone’s mother dying. Anyway, read with caution.

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April:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18468478 : “Does it matter?”, a late-night fic where Aoi is conflicted about her sexuality and calls Makoto to talk about it. I wrote a lot of one-shots in April (I actually surprised myself going through them haha) but this one is my favourite because it touches on things that I don’t see addressed a lot. Makoto and Aoi are good friends. 10/10.

Content warnings: Internalised homophobia. It hasn’t triggered anybody that I know of because it’s mostly just Makoto giving advice and Aoi coming to the conclusion that she really likes Sakura in a not-so-platonic way, but y’know.

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May:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18776947 : “Shuichi thinks too much”, another installment in the Amasai drabbles series, and… wow. I literally only posted Amasai in the month of May. This one is my favourite (of the ones I posted in May, obviously) because it’s the one where Shuichi realises that Rantaro is claustrophobic and then they have a messy first kiss in the wake of Rantaro’s panic attack. I like fics where Character A kisses Character B and B has to be like… slow down partner… ur panicking. I also just like milking Rantaro angst so it’s a win-win. I go back and read this one periodically :)

Content warnings: Panic attacks, claustrophobia. Shuichi is exhausted in this fic haha but at least he has his shit together enough to know exactly what he’s feeling through the whole thing.

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June:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19210423 : “Quiet Moments”, an introspective drabble/character study in which Peko thinks about how much she loves Ibuki. Damn, I love Pekobuki. I haven’t written nearly enough for them. I wrote a lot of things in June (including an Undertale one-shot which was a strong contender for this spot just because this list is dominated by Danganronpa stuff) but this one is my favourite because it was just me… rambling about how much I love Ibuki… and projecting onto Peko. Which I do every time I write this pairing, but I didn’t make this list to call myself out, so yeah I’m just going to move on.

Content warnings: Peko briefly mentions that Fuyuhiko had to get an appendectomy within the piece, but it’s nothing intense.

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July:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19974424 : “Take his soul with a kiss”, a Grim Reaper AU in which Maki is Death and Kaito is a guy with the audacity to tell her to wait a week before grabbing her soul. I’ve finally hit the part of this summer where I was eating one meal a day and spending the rest of my time on my laptop writing fic. 14k words a day, babey! I wrote all my favourite pieces in July (Shuichi’s love hotel, the one where Rantaro pierces Shuichi’s ears, the domestic Hinanami, the one where Shuichi has a breakdown and everyone comforts him, that one where Shuichi is mean to Kokichi and then apologises) but this one definitely deserves to be here because it’s my favourite. I like Momoharu/Kaimaki/Harukaito (idk what y’all call it man) so, uh. Yeah.

Content warnings: Death is talked about a lot but I don’t want to spoil anything about the ending by saying shit so I’ll just??? It’s a Grim Reaper AU, procede with caution. Oh, and Kaito has a lung disease.

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August:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20442290/chapters/48499868 : “Causation and Correlation”, another 5+1 things fic (I have a good chunk of them) where Kyoko can hear death and so she goes around saving people. Also, in the end of the fic, someone saves her. It’s a cute fic and I love writing Kyoko so obviously this one is my favourite. (The one where Kokichi has parents and the Kaemugi fic I wrote that month are ones I really like too… this isn’t easy for me gamers ;w;) This is one of those fics where I was feeling extremely confident about my writing abilities the whole time I wrote it, and I’m still really proud of it.

Content warnings: Again, uh, death? Attempted murder, near-drowning, sickness, head injuries, and also attempted suicide. (Nobody dies in this fic, though.) Kyoko has her work cut out for her in this one.

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September:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20577251 : “Cigarette smoke”, a vaguely nonsensical Saimota piece I wrote where Kaito breaks down and Shuichi comforts him. I’ve only written Saimota twice and both times it’s been Kaito angst because you guys, you just, you don’t address his sadness at all unless it’s in Oumota (and we all know how I feel about Oumota). I should start referring to September as “the month of angst fics I wrote in the middle of the night” because that’s exactly what all of it was. This one wasn’t a vent fic, but there were a lot of them. September is also the month I started doing Amami week, so there’s a lot of that, too.

Content warnings: Kaito really… berates himself in this one. His internal dialogue is hard for me to read in this one because he’s super hard on himself. He also has a meltdown and starts hyperventilating at one point (and the way I write breakdowns is always super descriptive) so please make sure you’re happy and healthy before reading.

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October:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21195527 : “In the forever sense of the term”, what is probably my favourite Amasai fic at this moment, where Shuichi and Rantaro are forced to address Shuichi’s abandonment issues, and also there’s crying. A lot of it. From Shuichi mainly but a little bit from Rantaro too. I was surprised at how many fics I wrote in October because I was mostly focusing on Inktober I should think? I wrote a lot of original works in Inktober (though I ended up falling off the wagon at the end due to burnout) and it was a really fun experience! I think it strengthened my skills as a writer. Anyway this one is cathartic as hell.

Content warnings: The self loathing is strong with this one. It’s one of many mental breakdown fics that I’ve written this year. And there’s obviously the abandonment issues thing. Yikes.

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November:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21399748 : “One hundred and twenty six tiles on the ceiling”, where Himiko ends up bailing on plans she made with everyone to hang out and instead stays at home, stewing in self deprecation, until Ryoma shows up, and then everyone else comes to take care of her. Another one of those ones where everyone is there for someone after a breakdown. I like this one because Himiko is my baby and most of the angst the fandom puts out for her is centered around Tenko and Angie, which sucks because I headcanon her as having depression. Like, depression that is entirely unrelated to the people she knows kind of depression. I didn’t write a lot in November because I had a relapse, but I like this one anyway.

Content warnings: Depressive episode, disassociating, suicidal ideation, all the ugly things that come with depression. This isn’t a pretty fic. I don’t write depression as something that’s pretty or poetic because it’s not. It fucking sucks and that’s just how things are going to be.

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December:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21976864/chapters/52442179 : “An Ode to Yellow Carnations”, a 5+1 things fic where Tsumugi is a florist and Kaede takes different people to her shop until eventually she goes by herself. Is anyone surprised to see this one here? I wrote it for Tumblr’s Danganronpa Secret Santa Gift Exchange 2019 and went waaaay overboard with it. Which is probably why I like it so much. It took me ten days to actually complete, and I’ll frame it like I was diligently writing the whole time, but anyone who knows me knows that I never do things in that way. In truth I switched ideas for the fic four different times and then wrote half of it all in one night when I was hit with a surge of inspiration. I was really nervous that the person I wrote it for would hate it since it’s so long, lol. (Hi Alerane, I love you.) Anyway, I’m gonna think of December of this year as the month where I spent a really long time on a bunch of fics and then posted them all at once.

Content warnings: Very minor character death, mentions of alcohol use (nothing egregious, just recreational use on an outing with friends and all the characters are of age), also Kaede doesn’t go outside in this fic.

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I’m going to try and get out one more fic before the year ends. To be honest I wasn’t expecting to have updated Search by now so I’ve been kind of sitting around wondering what I should write. Maybe I should just start on the Aki chapter, but I’m kind of putting that off because writing those chapters takes a lot of energy and Aki’s is probably going to double Tsubaki’s in length. (Which is great, since Tsubaki’s was already a monster of a chapter on its own.) I’ve had a really great year for writing, y’all. I’ve made lots of friends and learned a whole lot about myself, and my writing style, and the characters I’m trying to portray.

I didn’t include any long-term multi-chapters in this list, like The Best Lies or my Fanganronpa (rip… I swear I’ll pick it back up again soon, I love those characters) but if you want to track my progress as a writer without reading eleven different fics, I’d really recommend reading one of those, because you can see it happening as the chapters go on. There’s so much that I’d probably write differently from where I am now as a writer, because that’s just how things work. Life is like that. You do things a certain way in the moment, and then later, you wish you could’ve done them differently. It’s impossible to live your life without regrets, or things that you’d like to do over again.

But for what it’s worth, I’m really happy that I don’t have to. Thank you guys so much for sticking with me this year. It hasn’t been the best, but it’s been all that it’s been capable of being.

Here’s to a new decade.

[what-eats-owls]

Hi! I just saw the news about your book; congratulations!!! That's so amazing!!! I was hoping I could ask you what your querying/publishing process was like? My dream is to get published by a big name kind of publisher like Tor, and it would be wonderful to hear if and how you got an agent, what the process was like, etc. Thank you, and congrats again!! I'll definitely be keeping a lookout for the book

Hey there!

(Sidebar: if anyone’s curious and/or wants to preorder my book, which I, in my unbiased opinion, highly recommend, here’s everything you need to know)

I can tell you about not one, but two querying processes, because they’re both equally important in how I made it this far.

The first querying process was for a book that I still love and would like to resuscitate someday.

Here’s how it went down:

I drafted the manuscript from February - October 2013.

I revised November-January 2014

I began querying literary agents toward the end of Jan 2014 and revised based on the feedback I got

I submitted the manuscript to Pitch Wars in 2014, and then again in 2015, and made it in for 2015, revising September-October, and pitching in November

Around mid-March 2016, I sent the last query for that novel, and focused my undivided attention on another WIP.

And here is a comprehensive list of every mistake I made:

I drafted the manuscript from February - October 2013.

It was a difficult-to-classify genre. Science Fantasy? Future Fantasy? If a bookseller doesn’t know where to put your book, they won’t make a whole new shelf just for you. (Note: this seems to be on the verge of shifting, but I wouldn’t bank on it for your debut.)

It was 152,000 words long. The industry standard for YA SFF (SciFi+Fantasy) is 100,000 words or less. Exceptions are rare and usually extended to established authors who have proven their marketability.

I revised November-January 2014

I had no critique partners. Sure, you can be your own worst critic, but you absolutely need another perspective.

I made no substantial changes. Removing an apostrophe didn’t fix a sloppy plot.

I began querying literary agents toward the end of Jan 2014 and revised based on the feedback I got

I queried without doing much research into industry standards, comp titles, etc. I just googled “how to sell a book” and went to town.

I submitted the manuscript to Pitch Wars in 2014, and then again in 2015, and made it in for 2015, revising September-October, and pitching in November.

Pitch Wars was actually great! I made a lot of friends who I still speak to today. That said, it was a big risk to enter a story that hadn’t made it in the previous year, because most of the mentors had passed on it a year earlier.

Around mid-March 2016, I sent the last query for that novel, and focused my undivided attention on another WIP.

CUE SIRENS, AIRHORNS, SKYWRITERS THAT SPELL OUT “THIS WAS THE SMART CHOICE”

At this point, I had spent two years trying to query a manuscript that wasn’t gonna make it. It was hard, and heartbreaking, because at that point I had poured everything I had into that story, and because it wasn’t enough, I didn’t feel like I was enough. I felt like Sisyphus pushing a big lousy rock up a hill, telling myself it was my fault it kept rolling to the bottom. But I loved that lousy rock! I didn’t want to walk away and find a different rock I could push up a hill, I wanted that rock. It took two years of pushing before I finally realized: it’s a rock. Without me, it’s not going anywhere. And I could come back when I was ready.

(I was also dealing with some major life events at the time - my mother had just been diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer, and my miserable job was in a downward spiral. IT WAS A GREAT MENTAL SPACE ALL AROUND. But my mom is cancer-free now, and I write for a living, so suck it cancer! Suck it, shitty job!)

What I didn’t realize until much later is that when you spend two years pushing a boulder uphill? You get shredded like Kylo Ren.

All those failures, all those mistakes I’d learned from, had made me a better writer. (It also made me a slower drafter because I was waaaay more critical of my own writing, but eh. I could draft slower because the end product needed less revision.)

So here’s how things went down with my second manuscript:

I drafted the manuscript off-and-on from January - July 2015, then exclusively from March - December 2016

I revised January and February 2017 (when I wasn’t, y’know, wallowing in existential horror in the orange mold infestation in the White House)

I was accepted into Pitch Madness, a contest which asked for a VERY short pitch (35 words or less) and the first 250 words of the manuscript; this was in early March 2017.

The response from agents in the contest was positive enough that I sent queries out to the rest of the agents on my priority list

I signed with my fabulous agent in mid-April 2017

My book sold in late June 2017

Said book will be released in just over four months from now. :)

So let’s review: 

Manuscript one: eight months drafting, two years querying, no agent, no deal

Manuscript two: ~1.5 year drafting, one month querying, sold two months after signing with my agent

Yeah, I’d say I learned a thing or two.

As far as things go once you’ve sold to a publisher, everyone’s timeline is SUPER different: 

Sometimes your editor has minimal notes, but you don’t get them for months. 

Sometimes you get a ton of notes even BEFORE you sign your contract. 

Sometimes your book may be in pristine shape, but the release schedule is super crowded, so it won’t be out until there’s an opening in a year; or the reverse, your book is super buzzy and gets fast-tracked and has to be ready on a SUPER FAST schedule. 

Sometimes your editor moves to a different publisher, and you get assigned to a new editor. 

All of these have happened for authors I know. It’s basically Calvinball, there is no norm. (Fun fact: this is also part of why every author yells “DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB FOR THE LOVE OF GOD” but that’s another post.)

One other note for this: if you’re interested in publishing with a mid-to-major publisher, you need an agent. Publishing contracts are notoriously full of potential pitfalls - for example, I can think of at least one major publisher that has language in their default contract that says the contract can be terminated if the author “flauts public convention.” And there are other, less flagrantly terrible parts of the contract that can still screw you over if they aren’t caught, and things that can still get weird outside of contracts that your agent can help you navigate, and basically your agent is there to make sure you’re all getting the best deal possible.

Anyway, that’s my publishing journey thus far! If anyone has any questions, hit up my inbox.

[homestuckhiveswap]

Land of Fans and Music: the Homestuck fanmusic scene

by /u/DrewLinky, previous article here.

Introduction

Homestuck, operating as a multimedia webcomic, utilizes many different forms of media over the course of the story. Music is an enormous element of what makes the webcomic enjoyable, for many people even being one of the main attractions of the entire story. As I’ve written about previously, Homestuck even had its own Music Team dedicated to creating works that could be incorporated into the comic.

Alongside this, however, there is a burgeoning fan music community. Innumerable people who were either too late or otherwise unable to get onto the Music Team proper were undeterred, sharing their musical creations with one another on the forums...

Their works were more often than not hosted on the website tindeck, and it was so heavily used for this purpose that the website eventually included “homestuck” as its own category. A quick glance shows that, at the time of writing at least, there are still people who upload their own Homestuck music projects there—quite the dedication.

There was one such person back on the forums named OJ who was involved in this process: for some time they were happy enough to share their music directly with others in lieu of getting on the Music Team, but after a while they conceived of the idea of compiling all of the fan music thus far into an album of their own. People would be allowed to nominate themselves and others, assuming the authors of the work in question could be contacted and were okay with being included. It was in this ad hoc manner that the Land of Fans and Music album was born.

I was given the opportunity to speak with two massively influential figures involved with the Land of Fans and Music group, or LOFAM, over the course of the last several years. Ndividedbyzero (more commonly known as Cait) and Lambda have both seen and done a lot to help LOFAM along in its several year history, and they were so helpful as to sit down with me and laboriously explain the project, and the various elements involved with its development.

Cait and Lambda themselves warrant some description. I’ve already written about them at length individually, but together they’re another story entirely. Throughout the entirety of our conversation, they would unabashedly begin talking about completely unrelated things ranging from the mundane to the spectacularly weird. In one breath they could go from describing the complicated interpersonal politics of musical development to the nature of blue raspberry flavoring and back again, not to mention the insertion of some rather shocking types of pornography at various points (this latter behavior being solely attributable to Lambda).

The exchanges between Cait and Lambda themselves were actually fairly interesting to watch—they play off of each other well and together were extremely helpful in piecing together the history of LOFAM, especially the later parts that they were directly involved in. They weren’t actually involved in the organization of the first album, but they were no less informative on the subject.

LOFAM1 - Beginnings

This first album, also known as LOFAM1, was a different experience from its successors. OJ was the main person who organized it, alongside a prominent Homestuck musician from the team named Solatrus. It was organized openly, with participants posting their songs and album art directly in the forum thread dedicated to the project.

For some time, the main page dedicated to unofficial MSPA music was Homestuck Gaiden, "where a few album projects that weren't greenlighted by hussie went between 2010-2011" (Cait). Most albums there were made by the Music Team or people very close to the team, and then LOFAM1 was included there.

Released in July of 2011 with 53 tracks (giving it the second greatest amount of content in any Homestuck-related album at the time), LOFAM1 introduced a plethora of fanmusicians for the first time. It also became the technical standard in terms of organization and setup: “it set the precedent for basically every fanalbum to come” (Cait). It did suffer its problems but Lambda remarks that the quality of the music submissions overall were pretty good at this point, saying "there was WAAAAY worse [submissions] with the other lofams" that they ended up leaving out, with the other albums to be described later.

LOFAM2 – Stupid o’ Clock and the UMSPAF Bandcamp

Unfortunately, Homestuck Gaiden ended up being shut down sometime after the release of LOFAM1. There is some speculation on why this may have happened, although none of it can be verified: one commonly suggested theory is that Hussie didn’t want fans to think that the albums were official and that he wanted more control over music production, among other reasons. This would make sense: "the music team ended up really really having to emphasize the whole UNOFFICIAL bit" (Cait), and if it proved not to be enough then they would have been asked to stop. Regardless of why, this development mixed up the fan music scene for a while.

Lambda describes that this is about the point where her involvement began. At the very beginning of 2012, there was a community stream celebrating the release of Bowman’s album Ithaca. Lambda began conversing with the people in the stream chat and then later outside of it. At some point she was thusly invited to a group jocularly referred to as the “Stupid ‘o Clock Chat”.

Hosted on Skype, Stupid ‘o Clock (SOC) contained innumerable people. In its greatest incarnation—of which there were many due to Skype’s tendency to crash or fail outright—it held approximately 80-90 people, which was almost certainly part of why it would crash periodically. Many of these people were important names in Homestuck music, but it also held some art people and a smattering of others.

Time passed in SOC, and in April or May of 2012 Lambda asked around if there were any plans to make a LOFAM2—people were still creating content, and OJ had neglected to step up after heading the first project. The vast majority of responses to her questioning indicated that there was interest in creating another album, but there was basically no desire to organize it. It was then that Lambda took it upon herself to do so.

Lambda recruited a person named Liza—who currently heads the official Bowman Discord fanserver—to help, and together they led the organization of LOFAM2. Lambda was fairly young at the time and inexperienced with coordinating such projects. Between this and other influences, the album’s development was fraught with problems: "i think lofam2 ended with like / at least one person saying 'wow, never doing that again'" (Lambda), a sentiment echoed by Liza themselves.

Before LOFAM2’s release, a user named Shadolith—more commonly known as Marcy Nabors and who currently works making sound effects for Hiveswap—was working on a fanalbum called SBURB OST. With Homestuck Gaiden rendered unusable, a new place was needed to host music. Thus, in November of 2012, SBURB OST became the first album to be released on the unofficialmspafans Bandcamp page (graciously shortened into the acronym UMSPAF). At the end of the year LOFAM2 was also released. For unspecified reasons, perhaps general lack of activity due to technical problems, the Stupid ‘o Clock chat was abandoned by the end of 2012.

LOFAM3 – Administrative Delays and the Hiatus

Due to the difficulties of making LOFAM2, making another album seemed unlikely at first. However, this quickly changed: "[making LOFAM3] was only unsure for like 3 or 4 months" (Lambda). Before long, LOFAM3 was being organized. Cait comments: “the head organizer for LOFAM 3 was VeritasUnae, who was a major contributor on Sburb OST, frequented the music thread on the MSPA Forums and worked on the UMSPAF website”. As with LOFAM2, songs were nominated by being posted in the relevant thread on the MSPA forums, or by sending an ask on Tumblr.

Cait had been friends with Lambda, Liza, and others, and herself was around for the creation of LOFAM2, but she claims she didn’t have enough skill to get onto that particular project. Despite this she was still heavily invested in LOFAM2 and was disappointed in the way it turned out: "i was an extremely active follower but not a major player, so i remember being real sad when i heard all the sentiment about drama on the lofam2 end" (Cait). When LOFAM3 started being developed, Lambda asked Cait to be a music judge, meaning she would get to determine which songs got on the album. She says she "was pretty surprised but definitely above all grateful for the opportunity".

Unfortunately, in late 2012 and especially 2013 the webcomic began to suffer in earnest from hiatuses: "homestuck died for 2 years" (Lambda). The decline in updates led to a subsequent decrease in fanworks, and fan music in particular languished considerably. There were very few albums released in the ensuing pauses of the story. Despite this, work on LOFAM3 continued for much of the year, with Cait estimating that there were nearly 100 contributors.

The overall process was smooth but festooned with numerous delays due to the sheer number of people involved. Finally LOFAM3 was released almost exactly one year after LOFAM2 on the 15th of December. Due to the lack of other albums in production at the time, it was a chronologically isolated event. There was a small stream to commemorate the affair, but this only heralded an intense quiet to follow after: for two and a half years, LOFAM3 was the last album to be released by the unofficial MSPA fan group.

Beforus – Decline and Resurgence of the Fan Music Scene

As mentioned earlier, Homestuck’s numerous pauses led to a drastic decrease in fan music production. Most of the so-christened “old guard”, the original members of the fan team, had moved on even before LOFAM3 came out. This trend only worsened over time:

it's hard to get inspiration for fanmusic when the music team itself has resigned to fate / ... / homestuck being on break drastically correlates with breaks in fanmusic production / except after homestuck ended / for some reason (Cait)

In this manner, the fan music scene for all of 2014 and part of 2015 was essentially dead.

At some point in 2014, however, a spreadsheet for LOFAM4 was created. It began relatively small, with a smattering of general concepts and "whatever we pieced together from the ashes" (Cait). At first, progress on developing LOFAM4 was extremely slow. There wasn’t a lot of material to work with and musical creativity was at an all-time low, so naturally LOFAM4 lay dormant for some time (although it was gradually building up steam, according to Cait).

Then in early 2015, a member named Josie began organizing a new fan album conceptualized as “the Beforus project”. Without going into too many details, “Beforus” refers to a portion of Homestuck that is oft-debated as being one of the worst facets of the entire story, so the subject of the album was already of major contention. To make matters worse, there appeared to be no quality control exercised throughout the album’s development, which lead to tracks that were extremely unpleasant to listen to, if not literally painful to the ear.

While many of the songs seem to have missed the mark ("i'm pretty sure like everyone on lofam4 was like ‘yeah, we'd... never let this touch a lofam’", said Lambda), Cait stresses that some of the songs were good or even great. Regardless of how one perceived the album’s overall quality, people who were fans of the subject material ate it up indiscriminately. It signified a new beginning for the fan music scene: scores of fresh artists and musicians were drawn in, and this lead to LOFAM4 being kickstarted into serious production: "in terms of lofam4, it absolutely helped us with contributions" (Cait). From there, the pace only seemed to quicken in leaps and bounds.

LOFAM4 – Conflict, Reconciliation, and Success

Following the release of the Beforus album, there was a significant upswing in activity: "the bottom line is that basically, starting in early-mid 2016, A Lot Of Shit Was Now Happening" (Cait). Not only was the fan music scene picking up, but this all happened to coincide with the release of Homestuck Volume 10 in June of 2016. "this was important specifically because we'd decided long ago that lofam4 shouldn't be released until homestuck volume 10 was" (Cait). Thus, with a significant personal barrier out of the way, speed picked up exponentially.

Some setbacks in the form of real life problems for many members of the team manifested: "this caused a few problems, namely that judging all the songs was a months-long task" (Cait). As soon as they caught up on their workload, more songs would be submitted that made the cycle repeat: "it was clear that some things had to change / luckily, things were changing whether we wanted them to or not" (Cait). This change would come in the form of the Cool and New Music Team (CANMT).

CANMT’s first album, cool and new voulem. 1, was released on the 2nd of July in 2016, serving as a second wind for the fan music scene. Ost, the founder and then-leader of CANMT, was later invited to be a judge for music submissions on LOFAM4 and were extremely active with the work, "which was exactly what we needed" (Cait). Makin was similarly invited to work on LOFAM4 about a month later (although he claims, perhaps appropriately, that he bullied Lambda into letting him on).

The first LOFAM Discord server was created on the 11th of November, 2016 as a replacement for the Skype chat that the group had been using. This switch happened at Makin’s urging, because Skype is generally regarded as an inferior program that people were very eager to drop. With an enormous group project like LOFAM, it was clear that more space was needed to facilitate their work just as organizers, let alone the countless content producers that would eventually be involved. Makin also suggested that switching to Discord would lead to an increase in popularity for LOFAM.

Unfortunately, at this point a rift grew between LOFAM and CANMT where some members of the latter group felt bitter about involving themselves with the former. CANMT had built itself a reputation as a music group with less of an emphasis on sheer quality and more on working with a theme, namely the Cool and New Web Comic (CANWC).

CANWC is a loose retelling of Homestuck in the style of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, which by nature connotes an outward shittiness that has carried itself forward in CANMT’s music. This is all completely appropriate: much of the early music in CANMT consists of bastardized versions of original Homestuck music and is predictably difficult to listen to, which is thematically appropriate. However, as time went by the music became less thoroughly dedicated to shittery and began actually improving. When their seventh album was released, it contained a significant number of songs that were considered of decent enough quality to be put on LOFAM4.

However, there were a select number of people who felt that working with LOFAM was inappropriate:

when canmt started to develop a distinct culture, there was definitely a subgroup who felt either that lofam was the establishment, or that the songs in 2/3 were too boring and canmt was better / so amongst people (i have no idea whether this was common opinion or a vocal minority) there was an idea that submitting to lofam4 would be to give away your True Loyalties (Cait)

This behavior ended up frustrating even the CANMT members who were working as judges for LOFAM, such as Ost.

Despite these naysayers, in 2017 LOFAM4 kept growing in intensity. Further elaboration:

on january 17, 2017, the second LOFAM discord was created, this time to facilitate contributors to the album instead of just the organization team. as makin had deduced, the floodgates opened fast and dozens of potential LOFAM 4 musicians + artists began joining, now under a much more conductive environment for sharing work, receiving feedback and communicating in general than the previous decentralized approach. many of these musicians, as it happened, were from CANMT, which eased the apparent problems between our two groups significantly (Cait)

In this way, the first half of the year saw the rate of development for LOFAM4 rise from already-quick to nothing short of a fever pitch.

Team restructurings happened: with such a dramatic increase in the number of people available for projects, the scale of projects they were willing to pursue increased substantially. LOFAM4 was of course being actively pursued and was wildly hyped up for release, but team members also began work on the Xenoplanetarium album. The music scene in general seemed to escalate in intensity, with another group known as FLSA creating a Problem Sleuth album known as Weird Puzzle Tunes.

FLSA itself is “perhaps best described as a short-lived music collective branching off mainly from the members of CANMT, but others such as myself also joined” (Cait). FLSA was the group that conceptualized Xenoplanetarium, but eventually they realized they were being subsumed into the larger group. In this way, “WPT could be said to be the first album released under the reinvigorated UMSPAF banner” (Cait). For the next several months, things ambled along at a fine pace with some unelaborated-on personal drama (never threatening projects), and a few amusing or exciting projects independent of LOFAM4.

Rather unexpectedly in June of 2017, a new album was uploaded to the bandcamp by Jamie Paige and Marcy Nabors. Entitled 『H☯MESTUCK VAP☯RWAVE 2016 RUH​-​RUH​-​RUH​-​ＲＥＭＩＸ』アンドレア・ヒューシー・グーグル翻訳 (seriously, go look at it yourself), it’s “mostly full of ironically shitty vaporwave remixes of Homestuck tracks by Jamie Paige and Marcy that was first uploaded to Soundcloud in 2016” (Cait). This was followed by another project called Ancestral; headed singularly by a person named Josefin at first, UMSPAF eventually stepped in to help master the album and upload all of the songs to bandcamp.

All of these things were happening quickly, and then suddenly in August a bombshell was dropped: act 1 of Hiveswap would be released on September 14th of 2017, only a month away. “This posed a problem…: LOFAM 4 was… probably going to be released in September, but if it were released after Hiveswap, there was a huge chance of the album getting buried in the hype surrounding the game.” (Cait) Thus, the team officially launched itself into overdrive to try and get the album completed before act 1 was released.

This proved very stressful at times, and it can't be understated that we were working hard; by the final 2 days, I had gotten in about 3 hours of sleep within 48 hours. But the deadline was met. On September 9, 2017, Land of Fans and Music 4, which ended up at a truly unprecedented 105 tracks spanning over 6 and a half hours in total length, was streamed on Twitch, then released… Seeing this many people react to the work that we had all compiled and worked on for years with hype and praise was a vindicating experience, to say the absolute least… A significant chapter in the Homestuck fanmusic community- and oddly enough, my personal life, as well- was over. (Cait)

Naturally, with this momentous occasion now passed, the group began to slow down in its efforts.

Xenoplanetarium – The Current Day

For a while there was some quiet, but eventually the aforementioned Xenoplanetarium album was published in December. “… the smallest in the discography by design” (Cait), it featured only 12 tracks, but was very well received in general. Another, less serious album called Gristmas Carols was put out by Christmas (even smaller at 9 tracks). As of this writing, Gristmas Carols is the last album the UMSPAF group has put out.

Aside from Xenoplanetarium and Gristmas Carols, the peaceful quiet post-LOFAM4 has lasted well into 2018. However, Cait assures me that UMSPAF is hard at work on its next project, labeled “Cosmic Caretakers”. She further describes that everyone is anxious to see it done, as it’s been “in the works for quite a while now”. Whenever it does happen to release, there will undoubtedly be a community stream and a large number of eager fans waiting for them.

Looking back over nearly a decade of community history is no easy feat, and something as richly storied as the LOFAM albums is something else entirely. The fanbase’s reception to these works and the group’s fierce, unmitigated dedication is quite something to behold. A community thrives when its members are creatively engaged and passionate—more than almost any other group I can think of, UMSPAF is exemplary of these qualities. Cait made a remark about the upcoming album, but I feel that it also serves as an excellent summation of LOFAM: “it's shaping up to be quite an experience.”

[nickgerlich]

Turkey For A Day

It’s only the 1st of October, and already people are starting to think about Thanksgiving and Black Friday. A few days ago while shopping for ovens at Best Buy, we asked the sales associate if there were any good sales coming up. His reply? “Wait till November 1st. That’s when we start our Black Friday campaign.”

Which is code for “We already have the flyers printed and ready to mail.”

Of course. Why wait for the fourth Friday of November to get things rolling? Why not jump start the sales blitz to the beginning of the month?

I gave up on Black Friday long ago. I went once at 5am just to shoot video of the insanity, got a hot coffee at Starbucks, then went home and back to bed. I only boycott one thing, and that is Black Friday.

Wait. Make that “stores open on Thanksgiving” as well. Because, you know, in an attempt to siphon off sales from competitors, an increasing number of stores started jumping the gun by opening on Thursday evening.

That plan has started to backfire, though, with a growing counter-trend of stores who flat out refuse to be open on this important family holiday. We are supposed to be lying on sofas, sleeping off a tryptophan-induced stupor that only turkey can provide. Football? Yeah, we start out watching it, but quickly drift off to sleep by the second quarter.

That’s why we have holidays. To eat and sleep. Not shop.

I am happy to see the list of Thursday no-shows growing. It’s not that I think there should be a law against opening. Less government and more freedom are huge in my book. It’s just that I think we need to give it a rest.

We have long established that Christmas is pretty much a commercial event anymore, stripped of its religious significance for many. We rolled over and accepted the 1st of November as the new Black Friday, regardless of what day it falls on. And we swallowed the Kool-Aid that retailers offered us, implicitly acknowledging that they know the more times we cross the threshold to their stores, the more likely we are to spend waaaay beyond our budgets.

So I applaud the stores boycotting business on a holiday. And you know what? I even admire REI for boycotting Black Friday. That’s a pretty gutsy move, given that Black Friday is often the biggest sales day of the year for some retailers.

It’s about using some restraint. It’s about common sense. And it’s about focusing on employees a little bit, knowing their lives are going to be miserable the entire month of December, and giving them a precious little amount of time to relax and do nothing. Or something outdoors, as REI advocates.

Make your plans accordingly for Thanksgiving, even if it is still seven weeks and three days away. Do you really need to interrupt a sacred American holiday to go shopping? Do you want to make yourself vulnerable to even more subtle and not-so-subtle attempts to help you part with your hard-earned dollars?

There you have it. You now know what I won’t be doing on Thanksgiving, as well as the day after. And come to think of it, probably most of the days leading up to Christmas. Amazon is my friend. I can shop at any hour of the day, and I never ever have to worry about crowds, parking, weather, or the sanctity of time spent together.

Bravo for those companies who see things a little bit like I do.

Dr “Sweet Buy And By“ Gerlich

Audio: https://soundcloud.com/nickgerlich/turkey-for-a-day

[madamescarlette]

⭐

HI HI ELLI

so, I think I would title your biography as: Christmas in July

which SOUNDS quite cheesy but LET ME EXPLAIN. *rolls up my writing sleeves*

See, I’m one of those crazy Christmas elves who starts listening to Christmas songs waaaay back in May (much to my Advent-loving mother’s dismay). All through November and December I sing Christmas carols in the car, and plan Christmas gifts, and put up bits of Christmas cheer. I’m one of those people who just.....draws so much joy & wonder from the whole idea of Christmas in general. Even if it’s so far away from me as it is during the summer, I can think of it and feel brightened. Christmas has a bit of magic to it- even just the memory of it can make you warm again. 

So, here’s the essence of your presence, Elli: you’re an incredibly warm, vibrant, bright person. Something about your soul is steeped in wood-burning fires & flickering candlelight- you’re full of fire and warmth and everyone who comes to know you feels brightened by that act. I think probably, no matter where you are or how dark it all seems, you’ll still have that same effect on people, just because of who you are- your light is self-fulfilling & even when you yourself can’t feel it, it’s still there. So, just like the wonder and magic of Christmas reaching me, even when I am remembering it in the middle of summer, as far away from it as possible- so that bright warmth of your soul can reach anyone, no matter how dark your life seems. 

send me a star so i can title your biography!!! don’t be shy step up now to get yours for that low low price of free!!!!!

[reddie-prompts]

Playing around in leaves maybe?

Eddie stood up, and adjusted his coat before looking up at Richie. “Ready to go?” He asked, shoving his hands into the deep pockets of his coat. Richie smiled at his boyfriend, and leaned down, kissing his nose. “Yeah, let’s get this over with.” Eddie rolled his eyes, pulled one of his hands out of this pockets, and held it out to Richie, who gladly took it. Eddie opened the door, and they walked out, Richie shutting the door behind them. Immediately, both their faces were hit with the bitter November air. Eddie shivered and pressed his side into Richie. “It’s November and it feels like it’s December.” Eddie complained. Richie squeezed his hand. “C’mon Eds, you said you wanted to do this while it’s still light. You know the sun will be set by 5, and it’s waaaay colder when it’s dark.” Eddie sighed and continued walking. It was cold, but they were letting Ben borrow their car while his was being repaired. 

The walk was quiet, sometimes Eddie would comment on how pretty the leaves looked, or would complain about the cold, and Richie would chuckle, but other than that, it was a peaceful silence. By the time they’d walked to the business community part of town, and even though Eddie’s hands were cold, Richie’s hands had began to sweat, so he pulled his hand away and wiped them on his coat. In the short time he did that, Eddie has wandered off to left a bit, walking off the sidewalk into the grass and leaves, which crunched under his feet. He seemed to be unconsciously walking into every small pile of leaves. Richie smiled. “Hey Eds, the sidewalk is over here.” He said, gesturing towards where he was standing. Eddie looked over at Richie, not even realizing he had strayed off from his boyfriend. “Oh, sorry,” he said, walking back over to him, connecting their hands again. “It’s alright.” Richie said, chuckling. 

They visited at the three shops they needed to go to, plus a candle shop, because Eddie had seen an ad in the window, and had whined about how he needed it, because it was limited edition for the season. So they went in and bought about 20 candles. Richie’s senses got overwhelmed in the shop, all the bright colors, all the smells, and workers asking “Can I help you sir?”. He was glad when Eddie finally decided that was enough. 

The walked home, hand in hand, Richie pushing them a bit to the side, though, so Eddie could walk through the leaves.

__________

Eddie smiled as he lit the last candle. He’d spent most of his afternoon setting up the candles in various room, instead of doing any of this actual chores. Each room had it’s own specific scent, which Eddie had, of course, planned out very carefully. He had asked Richie for his opinion, but he just shrugged, which wasn’t surprising. Richie had, instead, told Eddie he’d rather do lawn work while the sun was still up, then plan out where candles went in the house. “It’s hard work.” Eddie had told him. “Right, and so is raking all the leaves from out thousands of trees in the back yard.” “We don’t have thousands of trees, Richie. We have three, and there’s not that many leaves.” Eddie shot back. “Would you like to rake them, then?” Richie asked, leaning against the rake. With that, Eddie shut up, went back inside, and that was the end of that argument. 

Eddie’s task, which should’ve only taken a few minutes, tops, took him about two hours, but he finished, proud and strong. He stepped back from the candle he was lighting, and took a deep breath. It wasn’t as sweet smelling as the other ones he had bought, and he was sure Richie would’ve made fun of him when he bought it, but to  his surprise, he just complimented his choice. It smelled like fall leaves, which was a scent Eddie absolutely adored. He loved fall because he’d be able to smell it all throughout the season, but he wanted the candle for even after. He couldn’t quite put his finger on why he loved the smell so much, but maybe it was just because he loved fall leaves in general. Sometimes he’d find himself crunching through them while he walked down the sidewalk. It was just a habit he could never seem to break, and he was a bit embarrassed by it, but he enjoyed the crunch and the smell of the leaves, so he continued to do it, regardless. 

Thinking about it reminded him of Richie, who was still in the back yard, raking. He shook his head, chuckling to himself about their earlier argument. Slipping on his coat, he padded through the house to the back door, and the stepped out onto the back porch. Richie was in the lawn, leaning on the rake, admiring his work. About five feet away from him was his work, a giant pile of leaves, which honestly made it seem like they did have a thousand trees in their yard. Eddie walked off the porch, almost immediately regretting not putting shoes on. He walked over to Richie and wrapped his arms around his waist, standing on his tip toes so he could rest his chin on Richie’s shoulder. “Maybe we do have a thousand trees.” He said, giggling. Richie turned around, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist. “I told you we did.” He said, grinning. Eddie laughed, burying his face into Richie’s chest. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right again, I get it.” Richie chuckled, gently running his hands through Eddie’s hair. 

“Hey Eds?” Richie said, obviously trying not to laugh about something. Eddie pulled back a bit and looked up at him. “Hm?” In a split second, Richie had lifted him up, spun around and thrown him, sending him into the massive pile of leaves. Eddie landed with a quiet ‘thump’, and was instantly covered in leaves. After a few seconds of taking in what had just happened, he began to laugh, and sat up. “Oh, you’re an asshole!” He laughed a Richie, who had doubled over with laughter. He stood up a bit, holding out his hand to help Eddie up. A devilish grin spread across Eddie’s lips as he grabbed Richie’s hand, and Richie’s face fell, almost in fear. Eddie quickly pulled Richie into the pile next to him, laughing as he fell face first into the leaves. 

Almost as soon as Richie hit the leaves, he was up on his knees again, pulling Eddie on top of him, and then rolling them both over, so Eddie was now on the ground underneath him. Richie laughed and grabbed a handful of leaves, then threw them into Eddie’s face. Eddie giggled and shoved Richie off of him, and pushed some leaves onto his chest and face. He quickly scrambled to his feet, and kicked leaves at him. Richie swatted them away violently, missing most of them, making Eddie laugh harder. He took the moment Eddie was off guard, and grabbed his leg, pulling him back into the pile. Eddie fell next to him, his laughter dying down a bit, as he held his stomach. Richie sat up on his knees, his hands full of leaves, threatening to drop them on Eddie. “Okay, okay, you win, stop it.” Eddie wheezed, pushing Richie’s hands away. Richie dropped the leaves grinning. He laid down next to Eddie and grabbed his hand. Eddie turned his head to look at him. Richie was just staring at him, a dumb grin plastered on his face. “What?” Eddie asked, giggling. “Y’know, you’re still just a little kid, y’know, Eds?” Richie said, squeezing Eddie’s hand. “You think so?” Eddie asked, propping his head up with his shoulder. “Yeah.” Richie said, closing his eyes. There was a peacefulness to his tone that Eddie couldn’t help but to smile at. He seemed so at ease, so happy. “I love you.” Eddie said softly, pressing his forehead against Richie. Richie smiled, and quickly kissed him. “I love you, too.” 

_______________

AAAAAAAAAAA for this being the first story on this blog I’m sorry it’s so long, but I had a ton of fun writing it!

- Jordan

[placebomind]

Every year on tumblr people talk about how sucky the year has been and that’s true but I’m not gonna forget the good things.

Tagged by @cinnamintts tyty

sorry if this annoys anyone but im not doing anything tonight so might as well look back on the year in a positive light!

January - This year I started of playing a lot of video games! I remember playing the multiplayer of portal with my close friend Theo and i was also playing loz:oot on my own time. I also had a crush on theo at this time, mostly mistaking my love for him as a friend (of 5 years) as romantic attraction. my apes class also had a field trip to the smithsonian museum of natural history and i love that place. So.... i started the year off pretty well

February - Honestly, I cant remember much... but my sister had come visit me in maryland for spring break (she goes to dental school so her breaks are earlier). and i remember trying to show her bf this game called papers please and it was cool, i guess. my apes class went on another field trip to the national aquarium in baltimore, which was really fun because i got to see really cool animals and spend time with my close friends. also i got my first college acceptance to UMD: College Park! 

March - this is when all the college decisions started rolling in... and to be honest, i didnt get into any of my top colleges (hopkins & usc) so my soul was a little crushed (but im good lmao). I got into some really good colleges, which i try not to brag about but im definitely proud of myself for working so hard in school.

April - nothing really happened besides non-stop studying for APs the next month. by studying, i mean i only studied for BC calc and gave up on all my other APs lmao. but also this month I had a field trip for my anatomy class and a bunch of the medsci kids at my school. we went to an anatomy gift registry near baltimore and we got to see real human organs up close. we even got to see a body. i dont think i learned anything, but it was an experience to die for. it was crazy to see how we can damage our bodies whether its shattering your skull after drinking and driving, smoking, drinking, or whatever else we do to harm ourselves. i guess it was an eye opener, but honestly it hasnt stopped me from doing the shit i do.

May - this was the month of aps! and prom! and my final month of high school! as soon as aps were over, i had prom and..... i didnt have a great time. its pretty stupid because i thought theo was gonna ask me to prom (and he was), but another girl showed immediate interest in him and that was it... anyways, i went to prom with nicole, my best friend, and ana, a friend, mostly because we sat next to each other in bc calc. i kinda wish i had a bigger group of friends in high school to go with, but i guess its over with. also school ended, so it meant tea-do trips whenever i wanted. I made new friends at the end of the year, as i always do and could never keep in touch with them. anyways i have a lot of good memories associated with the end of the school year. from painting ceiling tiles, spending hours at teado with evi because it had become our place, and feeling the comfort of familiarity of olney and rockville.

June - this month was wild.... so uh first time getting high, graduation, and first kiss with a boy, sex with a boy, then first kiss with a girl then sex with her also?? I feel like i lived my teen recklessness phase all in the month of june. i also spent the summer with my dad in philly, but my dad and i arent close but i know hes a good man. graduation was kinda horrible, but lets not dwell on that. lets talk about that girl lmao so she was my summer, i sorta regret it but at the same time, i learned a lot about myself over the course of the summer while being with her.

July - so mild heartbreak happened here, again not dwelling on this. anyways, i went back to maryland to visit my friends, and i got to see evi, nicole, abbey, family, and some other people for the last time in maryland. its crazy the last time i saw my friends was july. probably the fondest memory i have is hanging out with evi the day before she flew to vietnam. we went to teado then we went to this bargain second hand bookstore and it was really cool! i also went to a bunch of places with nicole, including rio and we got puffles together. and i even went with her to get her first tattoo along with her sister and another friend from hs. when i got back to philly, my sister and i spent the day in princeton, nj and honestly it was so beautiful, wish i was smart enough to go there :p

august - so this was another rollercoaster of a month. so i got asked to be that girl’s (from june) gf. and i basically talked to her all summer and it was so up and down. it was hard but i was happy. and so i went to see her a handful of times and this girl ends up breaking up with me at the end of the month so that was gr8. 

september - this month was absolute shit because i basically got cut off bc my mom figured out i was gay .-. but uh i met nicole! (a different one from the one i mentioned earlier) and yeah shes the good thing that came out from this month! we became fast friends and yeah shes one of my new friends in california. and im very glad to have met her!! <3

october - i got my first real job scooping ice cream at baskin robbins. and honestly its waaaay more work than you think it would be. but im still working there now and its gotten way easier and i dont get yelled at as often anymore. i went to a halloween party and met some of nicoles friends and theyre pretty cool people.

november - so the only thing i can really remember was a friendsgiving i went to. and met more new people and yeah! 

december - my birth month ayeeee. this hasnt been a great month but one thing that i got to do was hang out with my best friend from when i was 11. we had lost touch a long time ago and honestly she isnt my favorite person, but its nice to see a familiar face and we have so many memories and im an extremely nostalgic person.

Tagging @soshimochi @indie-introvert @floweryqueenofhell @emmasato @fluorescent-starss @irockbequiet @diamondandthemarlnas and @ anyone else who wants to do this