#like you know he said to michelle you need to ask the fire captain to dance

[im-overstimulated-and-im-sad]

Well I rewatched the pilot again-

AND IT MADE ME FEEL ALL THE THINGS.

Like I knew it would but once again I am like-

I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL DORKS SO MUCH ALREADY

[frombeyondtheblackhole]

Hermit DSMP Swap AU: 12.11

It had been almost a month since Foolish had disappeared. He just hadn't come home one day. Finley sat on the steps of the summer house as the sun set casting the desert in pink and orange. She kept an eye on Foolish Jr. as he played with little toy figures carved from bone that their Papa had made for them. She didn’t play with them much any more, she was getting a bit too old for toy soldiers. She had undied several years ago. Her life force used to save someone else she couldn’t even remember. But that's how totems always worked. You undied for someone and then your age was reset. It had happened several times to her, she couldn’t remember much about her past lives, just vague memories. But she knew she was old. Foolish Jr. was older than her. Though at the moment he had undied about a year and a half ago saving someone called Technoblade. 

So that made her the responsible one. She took care of him the best she could, made sure to keep him from wandering into the dark and to hide inside when monsters did manage to wander this far into the temple. There was plenty of food stored away, and Foolish had spent several days away before, and he always came back. But this time, he just didn’t. Finley worried. Foolish Jr. kept asking where Papa was, when he was coming back and she always told him ‘he was away,’ and ‘soon.’ But she was starting to worry that something terrible had happened. 

A month was too long to be away on business with no warning. They were going to run out of food soon if she didn’t do anything. That's when she made up her mind. They were going to go to the Greater DSMP. They were going to find Papa or Ganpop Puffy.

When the sun rose Finley gathered up some food and told Foolish Jr. that they were going on a little adventure and walked with him, hand in hand, into the desert in the direction she was pretty sure she remembered Papa taking them when they went to visit Ganpop Puffy. 

—

Puffy liked Snowchester. It was quiet and secluded. Away from the chaos and pain of the Greater DSMP. After Foolsh’s death to the Egg she vowed to get away from it all. Now she just kept to herself mostly, and lived with Michelle in her little wood cabin. 

She leaned against the wall of the wharf, cold stones chilling through her red captain's coat, and watched the sunrise over the icy sea. She liked to come out here in the morning and have a smoak. She knew it was a bad habit, she didn’t do it in the house. But it was the only thing that seemed to calm her nerves. 

She pulled the cigarette out of her mouth and let out a long breath watching the smoke linger in the cold air. She heard a light crunch in the snow behind her and sighed. “What do you need Michelle?” 

She turned around and started to see Finley and Foolish Jr. shivering in their thin tunics and bear feet. 

She quickly stubbed out her cigarette on the wall and crouched down to meet them. “What are you two doing here? Where is Foolish? You two ’ll get hypothermia standing out here like this,” She fussed, taking both of them by the hand and leading them inside. There was a fire burning in the hearth and both the children quickly moved towards it without prompting, to warm up. Michelle was probably still sleeping in the attic at the moment. 

“Where’s Foolish?” Puffy asked again. He must be around here somewhere, they had just wandered off.

Finley looked up at her, the worry in her eyes made Puffy start. “I don’t know. He never came home. We came here to find him.” 

Gone? Foolish was missing? Worry started to spiral in her mind. He had died once before, what if he’d died somewhere and she knew nothing about it. What if no one knew… she forced herself to think rationally and calmly. She needed to take care of the children. She couldn’t be worrying them like this. 

“When was the last time you saw him?” She asked as casually as she could manage.

“Weeks.” Finnly said, her brow furrowed.  

Panic clamped down on Puffy’s chest. He had been gone for weeks. That was more than getting a little obsessed with a build project. Workaholism ran in the family but he was never that bad. She took a deep breath and forced a reassuring smile for the children. “Ok, I’ll go talk to Ranboo and Tubbo later and see if they’ve seen him, but in the meantime I’ll make you two some oatmeal for breakfast and get you some warmer clothes before you freeze. 

Finley and Foolish Jr.’s faces lit up at the mention of oatmeal. Puffy always made them special oatmeal with brown sugar and candied fruit when they came to visit, it had become a bit of a tradition. What better way to assure the kids that everything was going to be ok than that.  

Puffy got the children settled. Michelle woke up and came down stairs to join them and now the three of them were eating and playing games on the cabin floor. Puffy let them know she would be right back and grabbing her captain's hat she headed out the door to find Tubbo or Ranboo. Foolish had been working on their mansion, they might know where he was. If nothing else it might give her a lead. 

Puffy perked up when she saw Ranboo leaving the cabin he shared with Tubbo and Micheal, carefully closing the door behind him as if not to wake the others who must have still been sleeping. Puffy smiled softly at the sentiment. 

“Hey there,” She said as she approached, keeping her voice low so as not to startle him or wake anyone. 

Ranboo jumped and looked around relaxing when he saw her. “Hello, good morning.” He responded, climbing down the stairs to greet her. He had his book tucked under his arm, he must have been going somewhere. 

“I don’t want to keep you too long but I was wondering if you had seen Foolish anywhere.”

Ranboo froze and looked at her. He never blinked, she found it strange but she was starting to get used to it. “Oh- oh I’m sorry. I thought you knew. I must have forgotten. I’m so sorry,” He stammered.

“Sorry, what?” Puffy said, panic starting to well up inside her. 

“He- I don’t really remember the details… but he’s not on the server. There was a Zombie lady, I think she said her name was Cleo, and they swapped places or something and Quackity got very angry about it…” 

“He’s not on the server? How. That’s not possible,” Puffy said, her voice starting to rise before she remembered it was still early and went quiet.

Ranboo bit his lip and glanced around. “Sorry,” He muttered “I- I don’t know what else to tell you,” 

Puffy shook her head. “No, that’s ok. Thank you.” Puffy turned to go and then paused “If… If you learn anything else please let me know.

Ranboo nodded “I will. Maybe talk to Tubbo, he might remember more about this than me.” 

Puffy glanced behind Ranboo at the quiet house “Thank you, I think I will… later. I need to go back and check on the kids. Apparently Finley has been taking care of Foolish Jr. alone for several weeks. I don’t like the idea of leaving them alone for longer than I have to after that.” Puffy turned and headed back to her house.

So Foolish was gone. Not dead… probably. But still gone. Would he ever be coming back? Had he escaped. He had talked to her once or twice about finding a way off the DSMP for all of them, starting over somewhere, away from everything. Had he done it… or had he been taken? She could only pray it was the former.

[Notes: And this is the final chapter in what I will be calling season 1! I hope you enjoyed. There is going to be a bit of a hiatus in uploading on here while I catch up on Ao3. Then I am going to get back with season 2.]

[kj-1130]

Nothing For Me

Part 7

Main Masterlist

Part 6|Part 8

     You and MJ’s relationship continued to grow as time went on. 

     As she started her first year of high school, you worked on yourself, wanting to be good for her.

     Overtime, you learned how to process and deal with things better. You focused on yourself and your developing relationship with MJ and needless to say, things started to look up. 

     The ‘present but not really present father’ thing didn’t affect you as much as it did, but it was still there. It was one of the only things you hadn’t fully processed and to be honest, you didn’t think you ever could. 

     Your father is there, and has been aware of presence for almost a decade. And not once has he given you any type of consolation or love like a father should. You would think after Pepper was getting more involved in his life and forcing him to clean up (most of) his act, he would open his eyes and realize that a whole human being was living with him, waiting for him to realize that they were supposed to be relying on him; not an AI built in the comfort of their room. 

     But nope. Absolutely nothing changed. If anything, things got worse. 

     He was away more often, focusing on the Avengers. Or he was with Pepper, the new love of his life. 

     You tried not to linger on the situation often, knowing it would only lead to pain in your chest. So you just stuffed it in the back of your mind, hoping one day that the pain would just lessen all together. 

     About two months ago, you and MJ had decided to make things official after going on your first date. At first you talked about how fast the two of you were going, but Michelle simply said ‘we’ll be u-haul lesbians then.’ That was the end of the conversation. 

     Currently, you and your girlfriend were facetiming. You would’ve made the trek to her house but she was about to study and you both knew that you’d distract her. Plus the two of you were due for some time away from each other considering the fact that you’re at her place almost everyday. 

     “Okay, so I found this recipe the other day and I’m just now remembering it.”

     MJ looks at you confused, “Okay?” 

     You roll your eyes playfully.

     “I wanted to try it with you. After my ban from your place has been lifted.” 

     “It’s not a ban,” she chuckled.

     “Well, it sure as hell feels like one ba-”     “Mr. Stark has arrived with a guest,” M.I.A cut you off. 

     “Who is this guest?” 

     “Secretary of State, Thaddues Ross,” the AI replied, pulling up pictures of the man. 

     “Hey M, I’m gonna call you back.”

     “Yeah, yeah,” she nods, looking a little concerned. “Take all the time you need. Let me know if everything’s okay.”

     The two of you give your goodbyes and you ask M.I.A to pull up the live footage from the conference room.

     “Perspective. The world owes the Avengers an un-payable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives… but while a great a=many people see you as heroes, there are some who would prefer the word “vigilantes”, is what you first hear when you start watching. 

     Immediately your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

     “And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?” Natasha asks.

     “How about ‘dangerous’?” he replies. “What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?”

     The secretary activates a screen behind him which begins to play the previous battles the Avengers and SHIELD have fought in. 

     “New York.” 

     He clicks a button, footage of chitauri, shooting guns, and Hulk smashing plays. 

     “Washington D.C”

     A new video appears, showing the insight helicarriers firing at each other with chaos following. 

     “Sokovia.” 

     The frame changes, showcasing the terrified citizens that were on the flying piece of land. 

     “Lagos.” 

     “That’s enough,” Steve interrupts. 

     Ross nods in response and begins his speech again. 

     “For the past four years, you’ve operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That’s an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution.”

     He places a thick document on the table and slides it across to Wanda. As the team slides the book to each other Ross starts talking. 

     “The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries… it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they’ll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary.” 

     “The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place,” the Captain begins. “I feel we’ve done that.”

     “Tell me, Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?” There was a momentary pause as the two men’s eyes met. “If I misplaced a couple of 30 megaton nukes… you can bet there’d be consequences. Compromise. Reassurance. That’s how the world works. Believe me, this is middle ground.”

     At this point, you’re walking out of your room after transfering the feed to your tablet and making your way to the elevator.

     “So, these are contingencies,” Rhodey states. 

     “Three days from now,” Secretary Ross begins. “The UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords. Talk it over.” 

     Natasha speaks up, “And if we don’t come to a decision you don’t like?”

     “Then you retire.” 

     The elevator stops and you look up seeing the Secretary walk in with someone behind him. You give him a subtle disgusted look before turning your attention back to the security footage.

     As the deathtrap descends, you can feel his eyes lingering on you. 

     “Can I help you?” 

     “You’re a little young to be an intern.” 

     “You’re a little old to be looking at me like that,” you shrug, swiping away from the video on your tablet as you feel him looking over your shoulder. 

     Ross gives an awkward chuckle and furrows his eyebrows. When you reach the bottom floor, he gets ready to step out and places a hand on your shoulder. 

     You look at him like he’s lost his mind. 

     “You seem like a good kid. Be sure to make good choices.” 

     Raising an eyebrow, you refrain from saying what you want to say. You lift your hand and gently take his off of you. 

     “Don’t touch me,” 

     Once he exits, you hear the chatting start back up.

     “Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor,” Rhodes told Sam. “Which is one more than you have. 

     “So let’s say we agree to this thing,” Wilson starts. “How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?”

     “117 countries want to sign this. 117, Sam, and you’re just like, ‘No that’s cool. We got it.” 

     “I have an equation,” Vision announces as you get back on the elevator. 

     “Oh this will clear it up,” Sam mutters. 

     “In the eight years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And during the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.“

     “Toaster oven’s got a point there,” you mumble, stepping back on the metal deathtrap. 

     Steve asks,“Are you saying it’s our fault?”

     “I’m saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict… breeds catastrophe. Oversight… oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.” 

     “Boom,” Rhodey says.                             

     You see Tony lying on the couch, quite relaxed, contradicting the tense atmosphere. 

     “Tony,” Nat starts. “You are being uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal.”

     “It’s because he’s already made up his mind,” Steve explained. 

     “Boy, you know me so well,” Stark starts, getting up and rubbing the back of his head. “Actually I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache,” he pauses to grab a mug of coffee. “That’s what’s going on, Cap. It’s just pain. It’s discomfort. Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?”

     Tony puts his phone in a basket and taps the screen. An image is projected of a smiling young man. 

     “Oh, that’s Charles Spencer, by the way. He’s a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul, before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charlie didn’t want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn’t go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where, Sokovia.”

     He pauses for a second as the team soaks in the information.

     “He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass.

     “There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I’m game. If we can’t accept limitations, if we’re boundary-less, we’re no better than the bad guys.”

     “Tony, someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up,” Steve rebuttals.

     “Who said we’re giving up?” 

     “We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame.”

     “I’m sorry. Steve,” Rhodey blurted. “That-that is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we’re talking about. It’s not the World Security Council, it’s not SHIELD, it’s not HYDRA.”

      “No, but it’s run by people with agendas, and agendas change.”   

      “That’s good,” Tony starts. “That’s why I’m here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing.  

     “Tony, you chose to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don’t let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”

     “If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later. That’s a fact. That won’t be pretty.”

     Wanda finally speaks up, “You’re saying they’ll come for me.”

     “We would protect you,” Vision promised. 

     “Maybe Tony’s right,” the redhead speaks. “If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off--”

     “Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam interrupts. 

     “I’m just… I’m reading the terrain. We have made… some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back. 

     “Focus up,” Tony says. “I’m sorry, did I just mishear or did you agree with me?”

     “Oh, I want to take it back now.”

     “No, no, no. You can’t retract it. Thank you. Unprecedented. Okay, case-closed--I win.” 

     From what you see, Steve stands to leave abruptly. 

     You then walk out of the elevator, tablet still in hand with the footage up. The captain walks past you just as you turn the corner and spot the team. 

     “Someone’s upset,” you hum. 

     You walk past everyone towards the fridge and grab a water bottle. 

     “Anyway, that was very childish. And kinda stupid.” 

     Inquisitive looks are thrown your way and you hold up the tablet awkwardly as you plop down on a chair. 

     “I was watching you. I kinda do that a lot. It’s not as creepy as it sounds.” 

     You open the bottle and take a sip. 

     “What are you doing down here kid--”

     “Ahhh,” you interrupt. “Don’t call me a kid. I haven’t been a child for years.”

     “Just answer the question,” Tony snaps. 

     “I like to stay informed. No one tells me anything and while you think that these private meetings only affect you, it doesn’t. It affects me too. You may not remember I’m your child but several people do. And that puts me in danger. So yes, I listen to your conversations to make sure it’s nothing I need to worry about.” 

     An awkward silence washes over as you gulp down more water. 

     “Anyway, I was just riding up and down the elevator waiting for you guys to finish. That Ross dude is kinda creepy by the way. But you’re really considering signing that thing?” 

     “Not you too,” your father mutters. 

      You let out a laugh and everyone looks at you strangely. 

      “Is this funny to you?” Rhodey asks. 

      “Yes,” you stop laughing abruptly. “I find it hilarious that this is the same government that was ready to drop a nuke on the city during the Battle of New York not giving a damn about a single civilian that was still in the area. I find it hilarious that this is the same government that lets thousands of children and women of color go missing and not do a thing about it. It’s funny that this is the same government that let HYDRA, Red Room, AIM; all that shit grow right under their nose. It’s funny because this government is the same one that uses taxpayer money for dumb ass projects and unnecessary military funding instead of using it to fund shit that helps the civilians they claim they care so much about. I mean how can you not find this situation amusing?”

     “Look,” Tony attempts. 

     “I’m not finished,” you challenge, looking him dead in the eyes. “This government don’t give a damn about y’all, especially not the three of us,” you say, gesturing to yourself, Sam, and Rhodey. “We’d be booted out of this country before you could even blink if they ever got the chance and you know that.

     “I don’t know why y’all are so adamant on gaining the government’s trust when they don’t give a flying fuck about you or these goddamn civilians. All they care about is power. They don’t care how many civilians come up missing or die in some tragic accident. It doesn’t matter what happens. When they see someone becoming richer or smarter or more powerful than they are, they will do anything to shut that shit down. 

     “I don’t understand how you can’t see that. And maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just me and my experience,” you pause, catching the gaze of every person in the room with hard eyes. You take a deep breath and try to calm down. “Sign it if you want to. Think about how many lives you’ll lose then.”

     You stand from your spot and walk into the open elevator, ready to get to the comfort of your bed. 

-

     It had been two days since the initial meeting and you were currently sitting on Michelle’s bed watching her read. 

     “You’re really pretty,” you muttered out of the blue.

     You saw your girlfriend’s cheeks develop a subtle red tint as she mumbled back a ‘thank you, and continued reading. You groan and gently pull the book out of her hands. 

     “Hey,” she quietly protests. 

     “Please,” you pout, holding your arms out as an invitation.

     MJ fondly rolls her eyes before lowering herself onto you. You hummed contently and squeezed her before planting a kiss on her cheek. 

     She surprised you by turning her head and giving you a lingering kiss. That one kiss soon turned into something more. 

     Michelle gently pushed you onto your back and straddled your hips. Bending down she kissed you once again, her lips gliding with yours. 

     This continued for a few minutes, taking small breaks in between to breathe. You don’t think you could ever get enough of her and hoped that she was feeling similarly.

     You kissed until your jaws hurt. The euphoric feeling still lingered as MJ rested her forehead against yours, trying to catch her breath. 

     “We should do that again sometime,” you mumbled. 

     Your girlfriend nodded in response, giving one more chaste kiss to your lips before dropping to your side. 

     “Tomorrow,” she said after glancing at the clock that read 10:47. 

     “Guess I’m spending the night then.” 

     “I have no problem with that.”

-

     The next day, you were awoken by beeping from your phone. Once you were fully aware of your surroundings you picked up the device and read the notifications that M.I.A sent through. Scanning through them, you sat up with urgency and played the video. 

     “A bomb hidden in a news van ripped through the UN building in Vienna. More than 70 people have been injured. At least 12 are dead, including Wakanda���s King T’Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Bares, the Winter Soldier. The infamous HYDRA agent, linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations.”

     Carefully removing Michelle’s arm from around your waist, you stand up and move to the corner of the room. You press the contact and hold the phone up to your ear. 

      “Nat what the fuck is going on?”

     You hear the woman sigh on the other side of the phone.     “Look, just… stay wherever you are.”

     “Yeah, okay, whatever. I want answers, Nat.”

     “(Y/n),” she says firmly. “Calm down and go back to whatever you were doing. Right now, this does not concern you and I would like it to stay that way. Do you understand me?”

     There was some silence, before you let out a forced chuckle. 

     “Okay, whatever. Bye.”

     “(Y/n) c’mo--”

     You disconnected the call and gently tossed the phone onto MJ’s desk.     “You sound stressed.” 

     Turning around to face the bed, you see Michelle sat up and leaning against the headboard. You nod slowly and crawl your way up towards her. 

     “I am.”

     You feel her hand take hold of your clenched ones and she rubs them, causing you to relax slightly. 

     “There was a um, bombing at the--the um… signing thing. And no one wants to tell me what’s going on, so,” you end the sentence, shrugging. 

     MJ’s head drops onto your shoulder and you let her cuddle close. 

     “They told me to stay where I was. So hopefully we can get something good out of that.” 

     There was no response and you thought she had fallen back asleep, but you were proven wrong when your girlfriend started getting up. 

     “C’mon,” she instructed, holding her hand out when she saw the look of confusion on your face. 

     Taking her hand, the two of you made your way to the kitchen. 

     She turned around and grabbed your shoulders. 

     “We are going to make some breakfast… or lunch whatever. And then we are going to binge watch until we can binge watch no longer. Alright?”

     You nod your head, chuckling and then got to work. 

-

     It had been days since you last heard from anyone. No updates from Natasha. M.I.A even told you there hasn’t even been a great deal of movement in the compound. Today you decided you would head back. 

     When you arrived it was quiet. As you walked down the halls you heard distant chatter and followed it. 

     Turning the corner, you were surprised at what you saw. 

     “What the hell happened?”

     The two men turned to look your way, but you were given no answers. 

     Tony had bruises on his face and he looked more tense than usual. Rhodey had some sort of tech on his legs. 

     “You fought them. You fought them all, didn’t you?” 

     Both men looked away and avoided your gaze. 

     “You didn’t even listen to what I said. This is what the government does. I tried to tell you, but you didn’t even fucking listen,” you ranted, your voice slightly raising.

     “Us breaking apart wasn’t the government. Most of this is on some guy th--”

     “Well the government allowed it to happen so I’d say it is their fault!” 

     You turned to your father with pleading eyes. 

     “Where are they, Tony?”

     “Kid, they’re criminals now, I don’t--”

     “Stop calling me that! I’m--I’m not some kid. I’m not your kid,” you let out a frustrated breath. “You--you couldn’t talk it out? Like mature adults? You just had to go assert your dominance somewhere--in what? An--an airport? Some vacant lot? You just had to fight. Do you not know how to communicate?” 

     You looked at the two men, shook your head, and brushed past them. 

     Just when things were alright.

-

     “(Y/n)?” 

     “What M.I.A?”

     You were currently laying in your bed trying to control the tears that were begging to fall from your eyes due to the amount of overwhelming shit you had been hit with. You talked with MJ for a little while and while it helped a bit, you honestly were still feeling like… well shit.

     “There’s a package for you.” 

     Furrowing your eyebrows, you head down to where the mail is usually placed, get the package with your name on it, and head back to your room. 

     Grabbing a pair of scissors, you cut the tape and open the box. Inside was a letter and a phone. 

     Hey sweetheart.

     It was Natasha’s handwriting.

     I’m sorry. I really am. We all are. I wish things wouldn’t have ended this way, but they did and we can’t really do anything about it now. 

     I listened to what you said. I listened and I tried my best to understand. I don’t think I ever wanted to sign the accords in the first place. The only reason I did so was so that we could stay together. So that I could stay with you. This team is the only family I’ve had in a long time. The fact that that stack of papers could end that scared me. 

     I just kept trying to convince myself that signing the Accords was the right thing to do; anything to keep this team together. Anything to keep everything from falling apart. 

     But the more I thought about it, I realized. You were right. Everything you said. This government doesn’t care. And if the government doesn’t care like they’re supposed to then we need to. People need the government, but they don’t have it. They do have us though. And they always will. 

     I love you. I didn’t say it enough and I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get to tell you that again. You are so precious to me and I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. If you ever need anything, you can always give me a call. 

     You wiped your eyes and gently picked up the phone. You held it in your hands for a moment before setting it down. You folded the letter back up neatly and placed both items in the top drawer of your nightstand. 

     You laid back down on your bed with less tears on your face. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

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[chicgeekgirl89]

The Fifteen Minutes After

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, T.K. Strand

Rating: EXTREMELY T

Summary: "It felt like a challenge. And the answer was no. Carlos absolutely could not handle whatever was going on right now, hence why they were about to walk into his home and do whatever it was you did with a one night stand you picked up at the bar."

A/N: "Yes, I recall the fifteen minutes after we met." Since we didn't get to see any of those fifteen minutes I have filled in the blanks. Episode tag for 1.01. Huge shoutout to @bluenet13 who basically deserves a co-writer credit at this point because I literally can’t post without her.

Read it on AO3

Captain Strand’s son was…not a good dancer. Carlos had to bite his lip to keep from laughing as he watched the other man attempt to shimmy and follow along with the steps. It was adorable. Incredibly, wonderfully adorable. And no matter how bad his hip shaking was, Carlos still found him incredibly attractive.

Also, he should probably introduce himself so he could stop referring to him as ‘Captain Strand’s Son’. “I’m Carlos, by the way,” he said as they turned to the left and then to the right.

“T.K.,” he said, flashing him a ridiculously cute smile.

T.K.? Well that was different. Carlos would have pegged him as more of a Ryan or a Chris, but T.K…he liked it. He liked him a lot. 

“Does that stand for something?” he asked, kicking out his feet in time with the music.

“Yep.” T.K. gave him another sassy smile that said he would probably have to work to get the answer. 

The dancers turned to face the back wall and Carlos turned with them. When he turned back he found T.K. checking out his ass. His eyes slid up to meet Carlos’ and he didn’t look in the least bit sorry to have been caught. “Like what you see?” Carlos asked, flashing a smile of his own.

Like what you see? Who the hell was he tonight? Carlos was a confident guy, but he wasn’t usually so cocky with people he’d just met. His mother had raised him with manners. All of which had apparently gone out the window the second he got an eyeful of T.K. Strand.

“Not bad,” T.K. said, his eyes full of laughter and…a little bit of desire? Maybe? Was Carlos reading that right? God, he’d been out of the dating game too long, he couldn’t even tell anymore.

“Not bad?” he repeated.

“You heard me,” T.K. said with a smirk. 

Carlos felt himself growing tongue tied. Yet another thing that didn’t typically happen. He was a controlled guy. Confident. Not falling all over himself over a guy he’d known for all of five minutes. What the hell was wrong with him?

“It’s just kind of hard to tell,” T.K. said leaning close to him, “with your jeans on.”

If Carlos had been sipping a drink he would have choked. As it was he missed a step and nearly stumbled into the woman next to him. “Sorry,” he apologized as the song ended and the crowd shifted around him.

By the time he looked up again T.K. had moved back to the bar, but his eyes were still on Carlos, who found himself walking toward him as if pulled by a magnet, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He absolutely had not come here tonight looking for a hookup. He’d just come to hang out with Michelle. He hadn’t even thought about the hot firefighter from the call earlier. And he definitely hadn’t been hoping he would see him again sometime.

He was halfway back to T.K. when his path was blocked by Michelle. “Hey you need a drink?”

“Uh, no, I’m good,” Carlos said, looking past her to where T.K. leaned against the bar top, a smirk all over his face, clearly having clocked the situation. 

Michelle peered at him closely. “You okay? You look a little flushed.”

“What?” Carlos snapped his eyes back to her. “Yeah, yes, I’m fine. It’s just hot in here.”

His eyes found the bar again, but T.K. had disappeared and Carlos felt something akin to panic as he scanned the room trying to find him. Which was ridiculous. Because they didn’t even know each other. At all. 

“You sure you’re okay? You’re acting strange,” Michelle said skeptically.

“I—yes.” Carlos caught a glimpse of T.K. headed out the front door. “I’ll be right back.”

Michelle called something after him but Carlos was already gone, pushing through the crowd to the front of the Honky Tonk. 

The night air was cool against his burning cheeks as he searched the parking lot for T.K. “Well fancy meeting you out here,” said a voice to his left and Carlos pivoted to find T.K. sitting on top of the low porch railing that ran along the front of the building, half hidden in the shadows.

“Are you leaving?” Carlos asked, trying to keep his tone casual even as desperation filled him. He didn’t want this man to go. For a thousand reasons he couldn’t even explain.

“No, I was waiting for you,” T.K. said, taking a step forward. 

Carlos’ breath left him in a rush and before he could even think he was moving, crashing into T.K., lips seeking, hands fumbling.

It was intense. T.K. tasted like spice and mint and a little bit of smoke. And Carlos wanted more. So, so much more. He was used to being the one in control, but T.K. met and matched his every move, parting his lips, hands sliding under his shirt, bodies bumping up against each other.

Carlos moved to T.K.’s neck and smiled when the other man let out a groan, his fingers fisting in the fabric of Carlos’ shirt. His hips bucked against Carlos’ and Carlos made an appreciative noise of his own. 

His heart was pounding so hard in his chest it was almost painful but he couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop. He just wanted more and more and more.

It wasn’t until he felt T.K.’s fingers on his belt buckle that a tiny sliver of reason managed to worm its way through the screaming haze of his libido. He pulled back just a little bit, his breathing so ragged it was like he’d just run a marathon. He felt almost dizzy with want and lust. “Wait, just, hold on,” he rasped.

T.K. made a noise that almost sounded like a whine, but he allowed Carlos to take a half step back. “We can’t—I’m a police officer, I can’t hookup with you out here like this.”

“Are you sure?” T.K. asked, lips finding Carlos’ earlobe and Carlos felt his resolve weaken so much his knees almost gave out.

“I—yeah. I mean your entire crew is inside.” Another thought struck him and his eyes grew wide. “Your dad is inside.”

“Maybe we should get out of here then,” T.K. said, his voice low and full of sex.

Yes, yes, that was a thing you could do, right? They didn’t have to stay here, they could go somewhere else. “My place or yours?” Carlos asked.

“Yours,” T.K. said immediately. He seemed to realize he’d spoken too quickly and looked a little bashful. “I uh, I currently live with my dad.”

Well that was fucking adorable. How could this man be so cute and so sexy at the same time? It didn’t seem possible.

“No shame in that,” Carlos said. “I lived with my parents until I graduated from the police academy.”

How had they gone from pawing at each other to such easy and practical conversation? Carlos felt like his head was spinning. T.K. smiled and adjusted his shirt so he looked slightly less rumpled. “Just uh, just give me a minute?”

“Yeah, sure, of course, take your time,” Carlos said immediately.

T.K. looked him up and down and let out a breath, pointing a finger at him. “Don’t go anywhere.”

He disappeared inside and Carlos took a second to try and unscramble his thoughts. He pulled out his phone and texted Michelle. Heading home. Headache.

Seconds later a text came back. Really? Okay. Feel better.

Of course she wouldn’t be suspicious. Because Carlos never took guys home. Ever. It was a rule. A big rule. Not something that he did. Until tonight. Apparently tonight he did. Oh god, what was he doing?

He was about three seconds away from hopping into the Camaro and driving away as fast and as far as he could when T.K. reappeared, all smiles, his hair still mussed from Carlos’ fingers just minutes before. “You good?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Carlos said. “Yeah let’s go.”

If Carlos had been worried about the twenty minute drive home and whether it would be awkward or a mood killer, he didn’t need to be. T.K. was charming and easy to talk to. He kept the conversation flowing so easily that Carlos felt like he’d known him for years rather than minutes.

“So you have any weird roommates I need to know about or anything?” T.K. asked as Carlos turned onto his street.

“No,” Carlos said. “No roommates. I live by myself.”

“Interesting. Are you sure I’m not a serial killer or something? Isn’t it a little dangerous for you to take me home like this?”

Carlos chuckled. “I’m a cop T.K.”

“Oh, so you think you can handle me?”

It felt like a challenge. And the answer was no. Carlos absolutely could not handle whatever was going on right now, hence why they were about to walk into his home and do whatever it was you did with a one night stand you picked up at the bar.

Carlos glanced over and looked him up and down. “I guess you’ll have to wait and find out.”

The butterflies were back as they walked through the front door. He was completely out of his depth and trying hard as hell not to let it show. He tried to remember everything Adriana and Francesca had told him in vivid, explicit detail about their own one night stands, but everything seemed to have left his brain except for T.K.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked as he turned to lock the front door. “Water or—”

Before he could finish, T.K. was on him, lips against his, hands in his hair, hard and hot and intense. And for all his nerves, now that the moment was here, Carlos didn’t hesitate, grabbing T.K.’s ass and pulling his hips into his own. It felt like his whole body was on fire. Appropriate since the man he was currently making out with was a firefighter.

It seemed like T.K.’s hands were touching him everywhere at once, tangling in his hair, gripping his waist, sliding across the planes of his chest and stomach, and Carlos couldn’t get enough of the way his fingers moved so tenderly across his skin. 

Carlos’ own fingers were making quick work of the buttons on T.K.’s shirt. “Is this okay?” he managed to ask.

T.K. nodded, letting his head fall back against the wall, eyes closed, breathless as Carlos pressed a kiss to his chest for each button he undid. He was holding back a little bit, trying to gauge T.K.; what he liked, what he didn’t, although, so far, it seemed like T.K. pretty much liked everything. “My bedroom’s upstairs,” he mumbled against T.K.’s skin. 

“Okay,” T.K. said, but he didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get there, grabbing Carlos’ face and lifting him so their mouths met once more.

His hands moved to Carlos’ belt and this time Carlos didn’t protest as T.K. undid the buckle and then moved onto Carlos’ jeans. He paused briefly, eyes meeting Carlos’. “Yeah?” he asked, searching for consent.

“Yeah,” Carlos replied and T.K. wasted no time undoing the button and the zipper, pushing his jeans down until they hung low on his hips.

Carlos wasn’t sure how they made it up the stairs without dying, both of them half undressed, falling all over each other. When they finally reached his bedroom he felt desire burn down his spine so hot and fast he could hardly stand it. He steered T.K. toward the bed by his hips and gently pushed him down. “Oh so that’s how it is?” T.K. asked with a laugh as Carlos pulled his shirt off.

“Yeah, that’s how it is,” Carlos said as he climbed onto the bed. “Do you think you can handle it?”

“I guess we’ll find out,” T.K. said with a grin.

Time seemed to slip away and before he knew it, it was the early hours of the morning. T.K. was up and pulling on his clothes. “You can stay, you know,” Carlos said, shifting in the bed. “If you want. It’s late.”

“You don’t do this a lot do you?” T.K. asked with a smile.

Carlos barked out a laugh. “Not really.”

Never would be more accurate, but T.K. didn’t need to know that.

“I gotta say I’m surprised. A guy like you,” T.K. let his eyes wander appreciatively over Carlos’ body, “I can’t believe everybody in that bar wasn’t trying to take you home.”

Warmth flooded through him. Was this bliss? It wasn’t love. For sure. You couldn’t fall in love after one heated make-out session and a couple hours of mind-blowingly good sex, right?

“I already called an Uber,” T.K. said. He sat down on the edge of the bed. “This was fun though. We should do it again sometime. Give me your phone, I’ll put in my number.”

Carlos reached for his nightstand but came up empty handed. “I think my phone’s in my pants downstairs.”

T.K. grinned, clearly remembering exactly how those pants had come off. “Do you have a pen?”

Carlos managed to find one and T.K. took it, then reached for Carlos’ hand, carefully writing down his cell number. “Don’t lose it,” he said with a smile.

Carlos would have it tattooed onto his skin if necessary. 

T.K.’s phone buzzed and he looked down. “That’s my ride. No don’t get up,” he said when Carlos began to rise. “I’ll lock the door behind me.”

He leaned over and pressed one more burning kiss to Carlos’ lips. He turned when he got to the doorway, biting his lip and eyeing Carlos critically. “Very nice.”

“What?” Carlos asked in amused confusion, pushing himself up onto his elbows.

“Your ass. Now that I’ve seen it, I can say for sure, it’s very nice.”

T.K. grinned at him and then vanished down the stairs. Carlos snorted and shook his head. He wasn’t sure what the hell had just happened, but whatever it was, he’d liked it. A lot. And he really hoped they would do it again.

[marjansmarwani]

in the hope of open hands

8.5k || ao3

Vignettes of Nancy and Marjan through season two as their friendship grows stronger and turns into something more.

Here it is, the Nancy/Marjan fic I have been threatening for ages, just in time for @bellakitse‘s birthday. Happy birthday Stef! I hope you had a wonderful one, that you enjoy this bit of Nancy/Marjan softness, and that you know how much I appreciate you 💕

This is my first time writing these two and I sincerely hope I did them justice. I love them both though, so I hope that counts for something. 

--------------

Michelle leaving wasn’t as shocking as it probably should have been.

But after everything that had happened - starting with a solar storm and wrapping around a worldwide pandemic - the paramedic captain putting in her two week notice was barely a blip in the grand scheme of things. Yes it would mean a change in the firehouse dynamics, yes it would mean that Nancy and Tim would have to adjust to someone new. But Marjan respected Michelle for making the decision she had - it wasn’t an easy thing to do to walk away from everything you knew and take a risk.

Which is why when Tim started on his latest round of complaining (it was so familiar she could almost trace the argument at this point) she responded in kind. She meant what she said - she admired her for making the choice, more than she could say. For all her bravado and daring in the field, she hadn’t taken too many gambles in her personal life. Yes, moving to Austin had been a risk, but it had been a calculated one. In everything else; friendship, romance, she couldn’t say the same. Marjan loved the adrenaline rush of a thrill, she hated the uncertainty of a new choice.

Nancy, at least, agreed with her.

“What a monster,” she concluded sarcastically after she listed off all the personal sacrifices Michelle had made, throwing a grin in Marjan’s direction as she finished. Marjan returned it without hesitation, their eyes meeting as Tim threw up his hands in frustration. It was becoming a familiar rhythm between them. Maybe it was the pandemic forcing them to find companionship within their everyday circles, maybe it was simply them realizing that as much as they loved their teammates, the women of the 126 needed to stick together.

Whatever it was, Marjan was glad for it. They had just started getting to know each other and before she knew it, Nancy Gillian was her friend. She could very easily become a close one too, Marjan thought, given time. Time she knew that she was willing to give.

----------

Marjan was swiping through the pictures she had just taken when she felt a familiar presence at her shoulder.

“Those are great,” Nancy said with a grin Marjan could hear even with her back to the other woman, “you’ll have to send those to me.”

“As long as you give me credit Gillian, a lot of time and effort went into these you know!”

She knew her friend was rolling her eyes even before she had fully turned around but when she got a look at her face she was not disappointed. She grinned cheekily at the paramedic before their attention was drawn to the kitchen by a loud and bright laugh from Grace. They turned to see her leaning back in her seat, one hand on Captain Vega’s shoulder and the other covering her mouth. Marjan smiled at the sight before tilting her head in their direction, “How are things going with Captain Vega? She seems like a badass.”

“She is,” Nancy confirmed, “it’s kind of awesome.”

There was admiration in her tone, but something else too.

“But?” Marjan prompted, turning her back on Captain Vega and Grace to give Nancy her full attention.

Nancy sighed, “I don’t know. It’s just been weird. Michelle was never warm and fuzzy, but we knew her. Captain Vega is...different.”

“You’ll get to know her too,” Marjan reminded her, “in time.”

“Yeah,” Nancy agreed with another glance towards her Captain, “I guess.”

“Well I know,” Marjan told her firmly. “You just need to give it time.”

Nancy smiled at her gratefully and Marjan felt a warmth of affection rush through her. “Hey,” she said after a minute, “the only downside of flaunting my superior photography skills is that I’m not in any of the pictures. Take a selfie with me?”

“Who can say no to Firefox?” Nancy quipped, but leaned down so that she was next to Marjan as she raised her camera. They both beamed at the camera as Marjan tapped the shutter button. When they were done she pulled the phone closer to look at the result. Their smiles shone just as brightly on her phone and Marjan grinned at it. She added a heart emoji for her story, but not before she downloaded a copy.

This, she decided, was a moment she wanted to remember. The beginning of better times to come, she was sure.

--------

“Why did we leave him? We wouldn’t have done that if it were anyone else!”

If it were one of you is left unsaid, but filled the spaces between them all the same.

Captain Strand reminded them it was all strictly protocol and Marjan knows he’s right but she can’t help but wonder too. She can’t help but look down at where her hand is resting on TK’s shoulder. It wasn’t all that long ago that they had almost lost him on a call. If the worst had happened, would they have left? Or would they have stayed; giving protocol the finger because that’s what you did for family.

Logically she knows the two situations were worlds away from each other. TK’s had been a freak accident in an otherwise controllable environment. The scene at the pool hadn’t been safe. There had been lava and fire everywhere; they had been ordered to abandon their recovery efforts for civilians too when the worst of it had happened. They had grabbed any survivors and they had left before the body count rose anymore. She knew it was for the best, she knew it was protocol.

That didn’t make looking at Nancy’s broken expression any less painful.

But she didn’t know what to say. What could she say to make the loss of her partner hurt less? Marjan had a team and she knew that if she lost any one of them she would lose a piece of her heart with them. Nancy and Tim had only had each other. They had had each other for so long and through so much and Marjan knew there was no way she could possibly fathom the loss that Nancy had just experienced. So instead of going to her as a friend probably should when Paul offered to spar with her she accepted eagerly. She used the punching bag as a target for her anger, for her fear. She was angry that Tim’s life had been cut short when all he had ever done was help people. She was angry Nancy had to face this. She was afraid of how this might affect her friend; she was afraid of finding herself in a similar spot someday.

But eventually the workout was over and she and Paul parted ways. She felt lighter as she stepped into the women's locker room, but not better. There was still a heaviness within her and she had a feeling it would be with her for a while. She crossed to her locker and dropped her bag onto the ground before sinking onto the bench with a weary sigh. She was just debating whether it was worth it to change at all or to simply go home in her workout clothes when she heard the sound of sniffling from beyond the row of lockers. She frowned as she stood up, stepping quietly around them until she came to a halt at the sight of the scene before her.

Nancy was on the wide bench by the showers, her feet up on the bench before her and her knees pulled up to her chin. She was sobbing; quietly but unmistakably. Marjan felt her heart break all over again as she quietly approached.

“Nance?” she asked softly as she drew closer, not wanting to startle her friend. Nancy’s face shot up and her eyes went wide at the sight of the other woman. She reached up a hand to wipe away the tears that were still rolling down her face, but Marjan shook her head.

“You don’t have to stop,” she told her as she carefully settled onto the bench beside her. “It’s okay to feel this, and let it out. And I’m not going anywhere, Nance,” she added after a moment, certainty filling her voice. “You’re not facing this alone.”

And with that, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the other woman - tentatively at first but she tightened her hold as Nancy leaned into her. They stayed there, on the bench in the locker room as Nancy cried in Marjan’s arms, attempting to let all the fear and pain and grief inside out before it ate her alive.

And as they sat there Marjan made up her mind. She would be there for Nancy for whatever she needed for as long as she needed it. She was not about to let someone she cared about so much face this on their own.

--------

Marjan found a quiet corner and settled onto the edge of a picnic table before pulling out her phone. She took a deep breath before she dialed, tapping Nancy’s name in her phone as she did. Her mind wandered as it rang and she half hoped the other woman didn’t pick up.

“Hello?” Nancy’s voice sounded in her ear and Marjan’s heart ached at how thick it sounded.

“Hey Nance,” she said softly, “I just wanted to call and check-in, see how you’re holding up.”

There was a pause in which Marjan was certain she heard a sniffle, “I’m fine,” Nancy said but Marjan knew her well enough to know that she was lying.

She also knew that if she pushed it she would clam up, so she changed tactics instead, “We’re all thinking about you. I wish we could have been there for you.”

The truth of I wish I could have been there for you floated between them unsaid.

“It’s not like you guys have any control over the wildfires,” Nancy said eventually, her voice a little stronger. “I don’t think I can hold that against you. Besides,” she added, her voice shifting again, “you shouldn’t be worrying about me. You should be focusing on staying safe. We don’t need any more funerals.”

Marjan knew what Nancy was doing because humor was a shield that she lived behind as well. But there was a waver in her voice and Marjan was suddenly forcibly reminded that this was not Nancy’s first time at a co-worker’s memorial service. The old 126 may not have been her partner, but they had been her friends and now with Michelle following her heart and Tim in the ground, every connection Nancy had to the time before the tragedy was gone, save for Judd.

“Well you don’t need to worry about us either,” she assured her. “We’re keeping it all by the book, strictly playing by the rules.”

“Yeah well, we’ll see how long that lasts,” Nancy retorted with a snort and Marjan swore she could practically hear her roll her eyes even over the less than stellar cell connection. “This is the 126 we’re talking about, after all. It’s only a matter of time before someone pulls some crazy stunt. Personally, my money is on you or Strand.”

“I resent that!” Marjan exclaimed indignantly, but the relief of hearing Nancy’s laughter on the other end firmly proved that to be false. She let the sound wrap around her, savoring every second of it before she spoke again.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Nance?”

“I am,” Nancy replied, “this sucks, a lot. But everyday it hurts a little less. And Captain Vega has been great, we’ve gotten a lot closer.”

“I’m glad,” Marjan replied, “I think you two will make a formidable team.”

“We can’t have a team of two though,” Nancy reminded her, “we’re going to need to replace...to hire a third eventually.”

“Eventually,” Marjan agreed, “but not yet. You have some time, don’t worry about it yet.”

There was silence after that. They sat on the line together, each lost in their own thoughts, anchored to the present only by the sound of the other’s breaths. Eventually it was Nancy that broke the silence.

“Thanks Marj, for checking in. It means a lot.”

“Of course,” Marjan replies without hesitation, “I wish I could do more.”

“It’s enough,” Nancy assured her, “it’s more than enough.”

The silence returned again but it was a comfortable silence. It was comfort amongst the chaos they were both separately facing, a safe harbor to return to. But it was shattered all too soon as Commander DeLeon called for the troops to gather.

“Nancy, I’ve gotta go.”

“Yeah,” the paramedic said, “of course. Stay safe Marj.”

And with that she ended the call and Marjan was left with a smile as she joined her team for the latest briefing.

----------

“I hear you have a visitor.”

Nancy’s words pulled Marjan from her stupor and wrenched her attention from where she had been studiously stirring her tea.

“The guys told you?”

“About four minutes after I got here today. Those boys can’t keep a secret for shit.”

Marjan rolled her eyes at that, “It’s not a secret it just...never came up.”

“What, you mean there was never a time to say, ‘Hey guys, guess what? I’m engaged’?”

“And how do you think that would have gone over?”

“Probably better than meeting him by surprise outside the roller derby rink did.”

Marjan had to concede that point, at least.

“I wasn’t trying to keep him a secret,” she explained. “I guess I never really thought about it. It’s just been a part of my life for so long that I barely even think about it most of the time. And that is so separate in my head from my life here and I just...never thought of sharing it.”

Nancy didn’t say anything right away and when Marjan looked up at her it was clear that she was on the verge of saying something, but not sure if she wanted to. She waited for a few more moments before Nancy noticed her watching and gave her a smile that was tighter than her usual.

“That makes sense, I guess. It must be nice to see him after so long.”

“Yeah”, Marjan agreed, “it is.”

The smile Nancy gave her this time was more genuine, much more like herself. “I hope you enjoy his visit then,” she said before she jabbed her thumb in the direction of the ambulance bay. “I have to go take care of inventory, but we’ll take more later, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Marjan agreed, watching in confusion as Nancy walked away.

----------

All her life, Marjan had had a plan.

Now, in just one day and two conversations, that plan had been dismantled and for the first time, Marjan was facing an uncertain future. It terrified her.

She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to handle this. She knew she had made the right choice. She cared for Salim — she always had — and the fact that at some point, unbeknownst to her, she had to come to love him didn’t change anything. She was well aware that she had been the one to make this mess; but that didn’t change the end result. Salim had fallen for someone else. He had made his choice and Marjan refused to be the reason someone else got hurt. She refused to spend the rest of her life with someone she couldn’t trust; with someone who didn’t honor their commitments. That mattered to her — enough to upend her entire future, apparently.

The worst part was that she wasn’t even sure she could blame Salim. Or even their parents, for that matter. She didn’t think it was the fault of any one person; it was just something that had happened with time. They had been so young when this had all been decided, years before they had realized who they were. It had never bothered her, the idea of it. It had been comforting knowing that no matter what, she knew what the future was going to bring. She had been free to make her choices and follow her passions knowing that no matter what she had a future with Salim. She had never considered another possibility.

But now she was faced with a whole world of other possibilities and she didn’t know what to do with it. She had never really thought of the concept of romance before; she had never taken the time to consider who she found attractive. She had never seen the point, given everything. Maybe she should find it thrilling (and a small, distant part of her did) but mostly, she found it terrifying. She didn’t know what to do next.

Her pondering was interrupted by the sound of a knock at her door. She frowned, rising from the couch and approached it with trepidation. The list of people who came to visit her at home was very short, but she supposed it could be any member of her team. It could just as well be Salim, but she couldn’t fathom what he could possibly want.

She peered into the peephole, not sure what to expect, but pulled away with a smile and opened the door to reveal Nancy Gillian on her threshold, holding a bag.

“I’m not sure what kind of breakup category this falls under exactly,” she stated without prompting, “but I brought tea if it’s a ranting type and ice cream in case it’s the wallowing type. Either way, we’re ordering chinese.”

And despite it all, Marjan smiled. The first real genuine smile she had since that night at the hotel. “I think it’s a bit of both,” she replied as she stepped aside to allow the other woman entrance.

“Then we better get started,” Nancy quipped as she took the silent invitation. “We have a lot of ground to cover.”

---------

With Nancy out on medical due to her broken foot Marjan had taken it upon herself to make sure the other woman was fed and kept up on the happenings at the station. So it was a Monday evening that Marjan found herself in Nancy’s kitchen, stocking the fridge with the groceries she had brought and giving her a play by play of the minefield incident. She had already gotten the basics from Captain Vega, but while her captain’s version had been professional and to the point, Marjan’s was a lot more colorful and action packed. When she had described Reese refusing to enter the minefield Nancy had thumped a hand against the counter.

“See,” she had exclaimed, “I knew he was too good to be true!”

Marjan chuckled, but trailed off as another thought entered her head, “Would you have gone if you had been there?”

“Yeah,” Nancy replied with a shrug, “it’s not on my top ten list of things to do and frankly I’d rather not, but those boys needed help. And that’s what we do.”

And Marjan was surprised by the feeling of relief that washed over her at those words. Not relief that Nancy would have done the right things — of that Marjan had no doubt — but relief that she hadn’t been there, that she hadn’t had the chance.

Relief that she was safe, that she hadn’t taken that risk.

It was stupid and Marjan knew it. Taking risks was their business, it couldn’t be avoided and it was what they had all signed up for. But the idea of Nancy taking that risk, of Nancy putting herself in such tangible danger left her with a feeling of dread she couldn’t shake.

She didn’t know what to say next but she was saved the trouble by the sound of Nancy’s phone ringing and her excusing herself to answer it. Marjan was left to continue to ponder these thoughts as she waited for the phone call to end.

“That was Captain Vega,” Nancy announced as she hobbled back into the kitchen, setting her phone back down on the counter. “She just called to tell me that she offered TK the position, and he accepted.”

“That’s good, right?” Marjan asked as Nancy slid back into her previous seat at the counter. “Having someone you already know filling the spot? It has to take away a lot of the uncertainty.”

“It does,” Nancy admitted, “but it’ll still be an adjustment.”

She trailed off and Marjan paused in putting away the groceries she had brought over. She crossed over to the counter and leaned on it, facing the other women and giving her a beseeching look. “And?” she prompted.

Nancy looked down at her hands on the counter as she replied, voice soft, “And filling the position with someone who will stick feels like it’s official. That Tim is really gone and we’re really moving on now.”

And Marjan didn’t know what to say to that. She had never lost someone like that. She had never experienced losing one of the people closest to you, having them ripped away without warning and being expected to carry on as normal because that was the job. She didn’t know what to say to make that better.

“You are moving on,” she finally settled on, “because that’s what you need to do. That doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten Tim. Getting a new partner does not replace the memories you have of the old one.”

“I know that,” Nancy replied, not meeting her eyes, “it just feels like he’s being forgotten. He doesn’t deserve that.”

Marjan reached across the counter to tap Nancy’s arm, “Hey,” she said, “he’s not forgotten because you will always remember him. And so will I,” she promised. “He’s not going to be forgotten.”

She allowed her words to settle around them, lending weight to her oath. The smile Nancy gave her in response was frail, but it warmed Marjan’s heart to see it. She patted her arm one more time before she stepped away from the counter, returning to the groceries at hand. She knew that she couldn’t possibly imagine what Nancy was going through, but she knew that she would be there for her every step of the way.

That’s what you did for a friend, after all.

------------

“And then he told me to ‘live in it’ for a bit. Like, dude, what the fuck does that even mean?”

Marjan did her best not to audibly chuckle as she turned back to the living room with two mugs in her hand. Nancy was sprawled across her couch and fifteen minutes into a tirade about TK with no signs of stopping anytime soon. She accepted the tea from Marjan with a nod but continued on without missing a beat.

She was going on about the dangers of improperly arranged needles as Marjan settled into the chair across from her, tucking her feet underneath her and hiding her smile with her mug as she took a sip. Her attempts to hide her amusement are unsuccessful and Nancy finally stopped long enough to give her a glare.

“I am so glad me getting replaced on my own team is amusing to you, Marwani.”

Marjan rolled her eyes before setting down her mug. “Nance,” she said evenly, “you are not being replaced.”

“How can you say that?” Nancy questioned incredulously. “You saw them today. They are a perfectly well-oiled team. All I’m doing is getting in the way.”

“Nancy,” Marjan repeated, more firmly this time, “you are not getting in the way. You are an excellent paramedic, and they both know that. But your team has a new member now, and things are going to be different. It’s going to take some time to adjust, but you will.”

Nancy held her gaze for another moment before she looked away with a deep sigh. “I don’t know how to adjust to this,” she said softly. “Tim was my partner for so long. I’m not saying TK is a bad paramedic or that he’s a bad person he’s just…”

“He’s not Tim,” Marjan finished, her heart aching for the other woman as she nodded and blinked against the tears that had gathered in her eyes at the reminder. Marjan leaned forward in her seat, closing the distance between them as much as she dared. “Nancy, TK will never replace Tim. He can’t because he is someone different. You’re going to form a relationship with him too and it’s going to be different. That’s okay. It’s all part of moving forward.”

Nancy was quiet for several moments before she sighed and flopped back onto the couch dramatically, “Moving forward sucks.”

Marjan couldn’t hide the laugh that burst from her at that. “Yeah, it can,” she agreed. “If it’s any consolation though, I can almost guarantee that TK is feeling just as weird about this as you are. And if I know him, he’s going to try to find a way to fix it. And if he doesn’t, I can also guarantee that I will kick his ass, for you.”

That at least pulled a smile out from the other woman and Marjan returned it, savoring the warmth that rushed through her chest at the sight of it.

“Thanks Marj,” Nancy said eventually. “For being here, for listening. I know this is probably weird, I mean he’s your friend and here I am trash talking him…”

“Hey,” Marjan interjected, “none of that now. Yes, TK is my friend, but he’s not the only one. You are my friend too Nancy, and I will be here as long as you need to rant about this or whatever else you need to do. You’ve been there for me, let me be there for you.”

---------

TK had come through just as Marjan had known he would and, even though she had to admit she hadn’t seen it coming, turning the ambulance into a memorial seemed a perfectly fitting tribute. A way to make sure that Tim was truly never forgotten, that he was always with them.

When Nancy arrived Marjan met her eyes. She greeted her with the others but held her gaze a moment longer, silently communicating with the other woman. She didn’t want to steal TK’s thunder but she wanted her to know that everything was okay, that things were looking up. And when TK said his piece and revealed the painted memorial and tears gathered in Nancy’s eyes, Marjan could feel matching ones in her own eyes as well.

They go back to Nancy’s place after that, just the two of them. There were offers for a whole group hang but Marjan could tell that Nancy wasn’t feeling up to that just yet. So when she politely declined she found Marjan waiting by her car, an eyebrow raised.

“What,” she asked, “you didn’t think you were getting rid of me that easily, did you?”

And so here they were now - mugs of tea on the coffee table before them while a cheesy sci-fi flick played out on the screen before them. They sat in comfortable silence, both content to simply exist in the other's presence for a while, until Nancy broke the silence.

“Thank you,” she said eventually, pulling Marjan’s attention away from the movie.

“For what?” she asked with a frown.

“For being here. For having been here this entire time. I...I wasn’t sure if I would ever have someone be there for me like this again. Not after Tim.”

“Nancy, you don’t need to…”

“No, I do Marj. Just, hear me out?”

Marjan nodded and twisted her body so she was facing the other woman, watching as she took a deep breath.

“These past few months,” Nancy started, “have been awful. This process of grieving and recovering has been a long one and as much as it has sucked for me, I can’t imagine it was all that fun to be around either. But you have been there for me the entire time, in every single way. You’ve become someone I rely on and I just, needed you to know that.”

WIth that she stopped speaking and they were left once again in silence. Marjan was floored by the statement. It wasn’t that she hadn’t known that she and Nancy were close, but hearing it laid out like that, knowing how much it had mattered to her put it all in a new light. But something Nancy had said bothered her. She leaned forward to place a hand on her knee, holding her gaze as she spoke.

“You are never a burden, Nance. Whatever you’re feeling, whatever the situation, I will always be there for you. It was never a hardship and it never will be. You’re very important to me too, you know.”

The smile Nancy gave her in return was soft and bright and when she shifted closer closing the distance between them as she turned back to the movie, Marjan let it happen. And if when she readjusted her seat she sank even closer to Nancy, the warmth of her body pulling her closer, that was fine too.

-------------

Marjan is no stranger to fear, but she’s never quite felt a fear like this one before.

When Judd called her to let her know that the 126 paramedic team and ambulance was missing, her first thought wasn't for TK. She loves him like a brother and she wanted nothing more than for him to be okay, but he wasn’t not her first thought.

Her first thought was Nancy.

It’s her name that drives the fear, the thought of never hearing her laugh again that steals her breath. It’s her smile and her warm, brown eyes that she is holding desperately in her memories, hoping she will have a chance to see them again.

And when they get the call that they were found and that TK is hurt but the other two are fine, Marjan can finally breathe again.

She was in her car heading to the hospital before she could even think, pulling in and entering the building with barely a thought and absolutely no plan. She was hovering in the emergency room entrance, trying to figure out her next step when she spotted a familiar figure across the room.

“Carlos!” she called and strode towards him. He looked up, startled, but his expression evened when he spotted her.

“Marj, hey,” he said, and he looked like a wreck. She stepped closer, peering at him with concern and allowing another fear to enter her mind for the first time.

“How’s TK? I heard he was hurt…”

“Yeah,” Carlos agreed grimly, “he has a pretty nasty head injury. He’s getting some scans and tests done now so we’ll know soon, I just stepped out to call my mom back. Captain Strand is in the waiting room upstairs though if you want to go up.”

“Oh,” she said, surprised and not sure how to respond, “actually I…”

She trailed off but Carlos gave her a calculating look before he smiled and spoke again, “Nancy is upstairs too. She’s okay, not a scratch on her.”

Marjan couldn’t even be bothered to try and hide the relief she felt at that. She could feel some of the tension leave her body as Carlos chuckled softly, shaking his head, “I was wondering when you’d figure it out.”

She opened her mouth to make a retort but found that she couldn’t even find the words. There is too much else in her head right now. But Carlos was still grinning that knowing grin at her and she couldn’t let him off easy, “TK has been a bad influence on you, Reyes.”

She’s known Carlos long enough to know that this is where he would usually fire back some clever retort. He doesn’t, but his expression softens at the mention of his boyfriend and he glances back towards the elevator that separates them. “I should go make this phone call,” he said instead. “I don’t want to be gone too long. Nancy is in one of the waiting rooms, second door on your left once you get off the elevator, 4th floor.”

Marjan nodded her thanks and reached out to give his arm a comforting squeeze before he walked away. “They’re safe Carlos,” she tells him, “it’s going to be okay.”

He smiled at her again before he turned and walked away and as she waits for the elevator she is left to wonder who those words were really for. She’s left to ponder that on the ride up, which seems to last so much longer than the four floors. Her heart was racing in her chest as she stepped out onto the correct floor, her feet following Carlos’s directions without much input from her mind. She was hardly breathing as she reached the correct door, but when she stepped across the threshold she could feel it all fall away at the sight of Nancy - unhurt and very much alive.

She is sitting in a chair off to the corner, staring out the dark window so intently she didn’t even hear Marjan enter. She didn't notice until Marjan paused a few steps from her and softly said her name. It’s only then that she turns from the window to see Marjan standing before her, and her breath catches.

“Marj, what are you doing here?”

Marjan stares at her for a moment before she splutters out a response. “What am I doing here?” she repeats indignantly. “Nancy, you were kidnapped and held hostage. Where else would I be?”

They stare at each other in silence for a few more moments before Nancy reaches for her and Marjan meets her in a heartbeat, sinking into the chair next to her and pulling her into her arms.

“I’m so sorry this happened,” she said into Nancy’s shoulder as she clutched her tightly. “Are you okay?”

“I wasn’t the one hurt,” Nancy replied softly, and Marjan hugged her even tighter.

“Just because you’re not hurt doesn’t mean you’re okay,” she reminded her softly. “Whatever you’re feeling now, it’s okay.”

There was silence for a few more moments before Nancy spoke again, voice so soft Marjan barely heard it, even being as close as they were.

“I was so scared,” she admitted. “I thought we were all going to die. For a while I thought I had lost another partner and now...I don’t know where to go from here.”

Marjan’s heart broke at the sound of the pain and fear still in her voice. She didn’t know what to say, so she settled for rubbing a soothing circle on her back.

“You’re all safe,” she said eventually, “and that’s what matters. Everything else we’ll figure out in time.”

The only response she got to that was a soft sniffle and Marjan couldn’t help the way her arms tightened around the other woman at the sound. She knew this would be hard, she knew there was not magic switch to throw to make it all better. She knew it would take time.

But she also knew that Tommy was unharmed and home with her family, that TK would be okay, and that Nancy was here and whole and in her arms. From this point, they could face anything. And none of them would do it alone. Tommy had Charles and her girls, TK had Carlos and Nancy, well...

“I’m not going anywhere,” Marjan reminded her softly, speaking the words into her hair and allowing them to fill this bubble they had formed. Maybe there were things to handle and people to call, but for now they had each other and that was more than enough.

------------

The next few weeks are mostly spent together. There are shifts and calls and the Ryder’s accident but almost every moment in between, Marjan realizes, she has spent with Nancy.

She is a shoulder to lean on as Nancy copes with the kidnapping but Marjan would be lying if she said she didn’t find their time spent together just as soothing. The fear that came with the idea of Nancy in danger is never far from her mind in those first few weeks. Then they lean on each other when faced with the fear and possibility of losing Judd and Grace. They celebrate the joy of their survival and their news together too, just as they do most everything these days.

Soon enough that is behind them though and even without a trauma to cope with Marjan still finds herself in the other woman’s company more often than not. She also finds that she doesn’t mind it, and that often she is the one seeking it out. Somehow Nancy Gillian became her closest friend when she wasn’t looking but Marjan can’t say she is too upset by that. There are far worse things to have stumbled into, she thinks.

After all nothing involving Nancy Gillian can be anything even remotely short of good, in her opinion.

------------

Marjan let herself into her apartment, Nancy on her heels.

“Marj,” she tries again, “it doesn’t matter what they think.”

“No, it doesn’t,” she agrees, “but it does matter what McKenna thinks. She thinks her husband dying was my fault, Nancy. What if she’s right? What if I had been able to save him if I had been just that much quicker? All I needed to save him was another thirty seconds. How long do you think that exchange on the overpass took?”

“Marjan,” Nancy said again, firmly this time, “don’t do that. You know as well as I do that asking those kinds of questions doesn’t do any good. If you start dwelling on that kind of stuff it’ll mess with your head and you can’t have that. What happened was awful and I am so sorry, but you need to move forward. It’s the only thing you can do.”

Marjan stepped away from her, wrapping her arms around her body. “I know that,” she admitted, voice thick, “but that doesn’t make it any better. He died, Nance. He died right in front of me because I wasn’t quick enough to save him. No amount of logic in the world is going to change how I feel about that.”

She could feel the tears starting to form and she went to turn away from her friend. But in the next moment arms wrapped around her, preventing her from straying any further.

“It’s okay to feel it,” Nancy told her gently. “You can cry, I’m not going anywhere.”

Marjan wanted to tell her that she was fine, that she could handle this on her own. But when she looked up to say as much and her eyes met Nancy’s, her resolve crumbled. Before she knew it she had dissolved into sobs, soaking the material of Nancy’s shirt as she held her gently, murmuring soothing words into her hair.

She knew this wasn’t a permanent solution, she knew there was still more she would have to do to move on from this. But in this moment and the safety of Nancy’s arms, she let it all come out.

---------

“I can’t believe it,” Nancy said as she and Marjan stepped into her apartment, flicking on the kitchen lights to chase away the early dawn darkness. “Can you even imagine, your entire life, gone just like that.”

“Not their lives,” Marjan reminded her as she set down her purse and leaned wearily against the counter, “alhamdulillah.”

“I know,” Nancy continued, “and I know in the grand scheme of things they were so lucky and I am beyond grateful that they’re okay but...this is going to be so much to move on from. I can’t even begin to fathom that.”

“Me neither,” Marjan admitted. “But they’ll be okay. They have each other, and they have us.”

“Us, huh?”

Marjan looked up sharply to see Nancy looking at her, a small smile on her face.

“Yeah, you know — the 126. We’ll all be there for them.”

“Yeah, of course,” Nancy agreed hurriedly, looking away from her. It took Marjan all of three more seconds to realize what Nancy had meant and she cursed herself. This past day had been something, and her brain was fried. But she needed to address this, Nancy needed to know.

“I suppose that’s not the only ‘us’ though,” she hedged as she stepped closer. “I like them all an awful lot, but I can’t say I feel the same way about them as I do about you.”

“Oh?” Nancy asked and though her voice was purposefully casual, Marjan could see the hope in her eyes.

“I’ve come to care about you an awful lot,” she admits. “And, I don’t have a lot of experience with feelings like this, but I don’t think they are strictly friendly ones.”

Nancy was quiet for a second before she spoke again, “So either you're asking to be my arch nemesis or…”

Marjan rolled her eyes. “You are such a dork, I can’t believe I like you.”

“You like me?” Nancy replied quickly. “As in, you like me, like me?”

Marjan stepped closer, leaving barely an inch between them now. She could see every fleck of color in Nancy’s eyes, and it affected her in a way she had never quite experienced before.  

“I like you, like you, Nancy Gillian,” she said clearly, not wanting to beat around the bush. There was a time for being quippy and fun, and then there was this. She wasn’t willing to leave this to chance. She reached her hand across the small distance between them and found Nancy’s, tangling her fingers with her own. When she felt a squeeze in response, she smiled, leaning forward and resting her head against Nancy’s shoulder.

They stayed like that, wrapped in each other in Marjan’s kitchen for a time she couldn’t quantify, but she savored every second that passed. Eventually Nancy broke the silence as she glanced out the window above the sink.

“It’s late, or early, I guess. I should go.”

Marjan stepped back, just enough to see Nancy’s eyes again, still clutching her hand with her own.

“Stay?” she asked. Nancy hesitated for a moment and Marjan pressed on, “It doesn’t have to be like that just...stay?”

The early morning silence drifted through the kitchen as Marjan studied Nancy. Then Nancy smiled at her and Marjan swore she felt her heart swell three sizes. She used their linked hands to pull them out of the kitchen and towards something new.

------------

The next morning Marjan woke up to find that she was not alone.

She smiled at the sight of Nancy beside her, still sleeping soundly. She shifted to try and get a better view of the marvel beside but her motions caused the other woman to stir and soon she was greeted with the equally wonderful sight of Nancy’s tired eyes blinking at her.

“Good morning,” she said softly, not wanting to startle her.

“Morning,” Nancy murmured less gracefully, a yawn jutting its way through her words, “what time is it?”

Marjan shrugged, “Not sure. Doesn’t matter though - it’s not like we have a fire station to go to work in.”

Nancy huffed a dry laugh as she shifted so she was on her side, facing Marjan. “You know until you said something I thought that maybe all that was a dream. Actually, until you said something, I thought this was a dream. It still might be, come to think of it.”

Marjan rolled her eyes and leaned over to press a soft kiss to Nancy’s forehead. “Does that feel like a dream?” she asked.

“Actually, yes, if I’m being honest.” Nancy replied and Marjan scoffed, reaching over to pinch the other woman’s arm. She yelped in surprise but Marjan only raised an eyebrow.

“Still think you’re dreaming?” she asked.

“No,” Nancy replied, “but I am starting to wonder if this mean side of you is a normal morning thing.”

“I don’t know,” Marjan said with a shrug, scotting closer to Nancy as she lay back down, “I guess you’ll have to stick around to find out.”

------------

“I don’t know how much more of this I can take!”

“Nance,” Marjan admonished, “stop being so dramatic. It’s fine!”

Nancy shifted so she was facing her. “It is not fine, Marj! I hate this. Not getting to see you at work is one thing, but not knowing where you’ll be working or if you’ll have a good team to watch your back? Your team is a collective pain in my ass at times, but I trust them. But now I’m just supposed to be okay with you doing what you do not knowing who is there to back you up? I’m not.”

Marjan rolled her eyes but she had to admit that the clear concern the paramedic had for her softened the gesture considerably. “Think about it this way,” she said instead, moving closer and running a hand up her arm as she spoke, “we’ve already survived numerous natural disasters and cataclysmic events. What more could there be?”

“I think that’s called tempting fate.”

“I think it’s called logic,” Marjan countered. “Hey,” she added when Nancy’s expression didn’t lighten, reaching out to twine their fingers together, “nothing is going to change. We’re still us, no matter what stations we’re working from.”

“You can’t say that,” Nancy argued softly, “because everything already has. And after everything...I couldn’t handle losing you too.”

While the concern still touched her, the fear in Nancy’s voice bore into her chest like a dull knife. “I can’t promise anything,” she said eventually, “you know that. Neither of us can make that promise because neither of us can guarantee that we’ll be able to keep it. But I can promise that I will do my best to come back to you every single day, no matter what.”

“I know that,” Nancy assured her softly, “I just can’t help but worry.”

Marjan leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek, moved by the weight of her affection for her. “I know that because I feel the same way. But I’ll be fine, Nance. We’ll both be, you’ll see.”

------------

“What was that you were saying last night?” Nancy said to her as she opened her apartment door to let her in. “I believe it was something along the lines of ‘what more could there be?’ How does it feel to have tempted the gods, Marwani.”

Marjan scoffed and shut the door behind them as she followed Nancy into the kitchen. “It’s not like I caused the dust storm,” she parried back. “I didn’t actively put myself in that position. I wonder if the same could be said for everyone in this room or if maybe someone stole an ambulance and went out into a natural disaster of their own free will?”

Nancy froze before slowly turning to face Marjan, who was waiting with a single unimpressed eyebrow raised. “Okay,” she admitted, “that’s fair. And I’m sorry. It’s not like I’m mad at you for anything - you were just doing your job. I’m just…”

“Worried?” Marjan provided, “Because I was too. As soon as you guys had to pack up to head to another call I could feel it. I guess that’s something we’re going to have to get used to now.”

“Hmm,” Nancy agreed as she stepped into Marjan’s space, “that sucks.”

“It does,” Marjan agreed, reaching out her hands to rest on Nancy’s shoulders, “but you’re worth it.”

-------------

Marjan was woken up the next morning by the smell of breakfast coming from her kitchen. She frowned as she tried to remember what she had left out, but the sight of a rumpled and empty pillow beside her soon brought her clarity. She smiled as she pulled back the covers and climbed out of her bed, heading for the kitchen.

After the 126 hang at Captain Strand/Mateo/TK and Carlos’s house last night they had ended up back here, again. Marjan couldn’t say that she minded the new routine. It hadn’t been long but sleeping with the other woman beside her had become more and more of a habit as time went on and it wasn’t one she was looking to quit. Her smile only widened as she stepped into her kitchen to see Nancy at the stove sliding eggs onto two plates.

“Good morning,” she said softly as she drew closer, coming up behind Nancy and wrapping her arms around her waist.

“Good morning to you too,” Nancy quipped. “I was hoping the smell of turkey bacon would entice you out of bed.”

“It woke me up,” Marjan admitted, “but you not being there got me up. Turns out my bed is lonely without you.”

Nancy switched off the burner before turning, bending down to place a light kiss on her forehead. “I think I like the sound of that.”

“You better,” Marjan countered with a grin, “because it’s the truth.”

Nancy flushed brilliantly and Marjan’s grin grew, but any retort she could have made was interrupted by the sound of Marjan’s phone ringing.

“Hold that thought,” she murmured before stepping out of Nancy’s embrace and circling to the counter to grab her phone. She frowned at the screen as she picked it up, turning it so Nancy could see Captain Strand’s name on the screen.

“Cap?” She said in question as she answered. “Is everything alright?”  

“Everything’s fine,” he assured her and she couldn’t hide the deep sigh of release she let out at that, “better than fine actually. I have a plan, but I am going to need your help, if you’re willing. Well, you and the rest of the team.”  

“Sure,” she said, shifting the phone from her ear before putting it on speaker and placing it on the counter between them. “Name it, I’m sure we’ll be happy to help.”

“How do you feel about doing the 126 renovations ourselves? The red tape is going to take ages and I don’t know about you, but I’m eager to get the team back together as quickly as possible.”

She looked across the counter to see Nancy already grinning. “I think that sounds like a great idea Cap, just let me know what you need.”

“Just as many hands as we can get, though I hear you’re pretty good with mechanical stuff too so maybe a bit of that as well. Could you meet us at the station in two hours?”

“Sure thing Cap,” she replied, “I’ll be there and ready to get our team back.”

“That’s the plan,” Captain Stand agreed. “Oh, and one more thing. I hate to ask, but do you think you could pass it on to Nancy? I have TK out gathering supplies and I don’t want to put anything else on Captain Vega right now, and I’m embarrassed to say I don’t have her number.”

Marjan grinned across the counter to where Nancy was still standing, watching her with a warm smile.

“Not a problem Cap, she already knows. We’re together.”

Marjan doesn’t know if her Captain picks up on the double meaning of her words and she doesn’t care. All she does care is that she can say them; that they’re true. She cares that they are together. She might care more about that than she has really ever cared about anything.

She thinks that finally, she might know what love feels like, and she knows that whatever the future brings she’s ready to face it with her partner by her side.

[beeexx]

The missing Tarlos scenes from 2x06

Word count: 4.8    Read on ao3

.......

“You know you need to tell him this, right?”

“No, no, I really don’t.” TK protests loudly, by banging the frozen bag of chickens into the counter, hoping they will shake loose with the excess force he is using. Carlos lifts an eyebrow from where he is standing in boxers and an old tank top, too much skin on display for it to be good for TK’s health, cutting onions into small, stupidly neat pieces on the chopping board. 

“TK….” Carlos begins, in that voice of his and TK turns around, eyes flashing.

“Carlos.” 

Carlos huffs.

“Babe, this is clearly bothering you, and taking it out on our poor dinner isn’t ideal.” He points out.

“Oh, sure Carlos, I’ll just tell my dad that him having another kid is a terrible idea because I’m a prime example of how they messed up with the first one.”

“TK…” 

“Oh and while I’m at it I might as well bring up how I am feeling about it and make it all about myself like I always do, that ought to go down really well.” He snaps and Carlos sighs. 

“You don’t make everything about yourself.” TK lifts an eyebrow and Carlos snorts. “Okay, sometimes you do, but often not without a legit reason and this is definitely a situation I feel you’re entitled to feel whatever it is that you’re really feeling and express that.” 

“Okay, well if we’re on the subject of telling parents what we really think then why don’t you take a page out of your own book and tell your parents that you have a boyfriend, oh, or better yet, the way you’ve been feeling for years about them refusing to acknowledge that you’re gay.” As soon as the words leave his mouth TK regrets them and he winces at the wounded look Carlos sends his way at his harsh words.

Fuck. 

“That’s not the same thing.” Carlos mutters, he sounds bitter about it and were it not for the deeply thoughtful look also making its way across his features TK would take the words back immediately.

“I could have gone about that differently, sorry…. But, but isn’t that exactly the same thing as this is though.” 

“We were talking about you.” Carlos points out in an attempt to deflect and TK just chooses to let it go because he doesn’t have the energy to have an argument about two different things at the moment. His head is enough of a mess as it is. 

“My point still stands, talking to your parents about all the ways they have hurt you is fucking hard, okay?”

“Yes, okay I will agree with you on that.”

“And if you really want to make this all about me this time then fine. Try telling my dad, Owen Strand, Captain of the 126, adored by his crew, envied by even more, hero, cancer survivor, the list could go on for a long time Carlos, yes try telling that person that oh yeah by the way dad you neglected me as a child and now I have both abandonment issues, self esteem issues and a constant fear that no one is ever going to love me because I am not worthy of it, that will go down real well.” 

He hits the bag three more times against the counter and lets out a triumphant sound as the frozen chickens finally rattle loose inside and he turns to hold it up to Carlos, a sly little smile at the corner of his lip, because his tactic did work even though Carlos had doubted it would. Carlos isn’t smiling though, he’s frowning, concern written all over his face, eyebrows pinched together and TK drops the bag in confusion.

“What?”

Carlos puts the knife down and takes the bag from TK, throwing it lazily, without looking in the direction of the kitchen sink before he steps up close, wrapping his arms around TK and pulling him close. TK lets out a huff of air, taken aback by the fierceness of the action. 

“I hate it when you do this to yourself…” Carlos starts and TK sighs, wraps his arms around him back and nods against Carlos’ neck, can’t help but breathe him in, feeling the calming effect of it already working through his system. 

“Sorry.”

“No, no don’t apologise.” Carlos leans back and TK looks up to meet his stormy eyes. He opens his mouth but he isn’t sure what to say. 

“I love you, okay? So much and I wish I could hit that into your thick skull sometimes but I can’t, so I’m just going to have to spend every day in this relationship proving that you are indeed worthy of love and no past damage or mistakes will change that, okay?” TK can only nod, his throat suddenly thick with emotions he doesn’t know how to express.

“With that said, you’re not very good at keeping things bottled up, especially not for a long time and especially not something this big, so you should probably really think about what you actually feel about this whole situation before you choose to do that.”

“Judd said I was jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Yeah, something about me wanting to push the baby down a well or something because I couldn’t handle not being the only child anymore.”

“He said what now?” TK chuckles at Carlos’ incredulous look and he shrugs.

“It was some biblical reference I don’t know. Prodigal son?” 

“Oh, like Cain and Abel, like a lesser known older brother and the jealousy that stems from it because it’s natural to resent the baby because you’re scared it’s going to take your place.” Realisation dawns on Carlos’ face and his eyes light up like they always do when he gets to talk about things he knows, which at times is a surprisingly big amount of random shit.

“Yeah, yeah, exactly that.” TK says sarcastically, gives Carlos a curious look.

“What? I read.” He shrugs and smirks proudly. TK hums. ”Well Judd is good at a lot of things, maybe giving advice isn’t his forte.”

“And yours is?” TK lifts a challenging eyebrow. 

“I am an excellent advice giver, I’ll have you know. The issue isn’t me, the issue is everyone else and no one listening to what I’m saying.”

“Oh, so you have a lot of experience then, giving advice?” TK bites down his smile as Carlos glares without heat.

“I chased Michelle around for years when she was getting in trouble searching for her sister. I definitely have a lot of experience.” TK chuckles and leans up to kiss his nose. It wrinkles adorably and TK’s heart tugs in his chest. He loves Carlos so much.

“I love you too, so much. And I’m sorry for bringing up your parents again, that wasn’t nice of me.” TK apologizes and Carlos nods and watches back with quiet brown intense eyes.

“It’s okay, you were right though.” He grudgingly admits. 

“Maybe, but there is no pressure, as I’ve said you can take all the time in the world that you need to figure it out and I’ll support you either way.” He promises and Carlos gives him a soft beautiful smile.

“Thanks.” Carlos whispers, grateful and TK nods, and gently starts scraping his knuckles against Carlos’ scalp, pulling at his curls in a way that makes his face soften immediately, eyes falling shut in contentment and his arms tighten around TK, breathing heavily. His reaction tells TK that Carlos feels really comforted by the way he is touching him and that he needed it more than he let on.

TK has always responded well to touch, Carlos picked up on that a lot quicker than most, but it’s also not uncommon for Carlos to like it as well. He just doesn’t always express it, so TK’s taken to doing it when he senses it’s something Carlos needs, while not always being aware of it himself. It’s these small gestures TK’s learnt, that you do for the other person and that they do for you that love really is. 

Carlos’ eyes are closed and he’s letting out soft sounds of pleasure, it’s distracting as hell, and it’s making it even more difficult being this close to him and not kissing him, so TK does because he feels he can’t not do it, and angles Carlos’ head down and captures his lips in a searing hot kiss. As always when they kiss like this, starting out soft, but then growing with intention and heat, the slowburn of arousal starts to make its way through his veins, electric energy flooding his system. Only Carlos has this effect on him. 

When Carlos reaches to grab at his hair and then bites at his lip it makes TK whine and chase after him when he moves back. 

“Dinner, remember?” Carlos reminds him, but with his curls standing up unruly and his pupils dark with want, it’s very hard for TK to remember the reason why he can’t skip dinner all together and eat Carlos out instead. Carlos huffs and his hands tighten around his sides like he can read TK’s mind.

“After dinner.”

“Is that a promise?” TK asks slyly. 

“Yes.” Carlos reassures and the slow self satisfied grin tugging at his lips is fucking obscene and TK cheekily grabs his ass in retaliation. Carlos knows the effect he has on him. 

“You know cooking in boxers can be a fire hazard.” He points out.

“Good thing I know an excellent firefighter then.” He says and kisses TK hard on the lips before he steps away, walking back to his mostly finished chopped up onions, giving TK a very nice view of his ass in the black tight boxers he’s wearing. God, his boyfriend is hot as fuck.

The rest of the evening is so nice in fact that for a moment he doesn’t think about his parents or the baby, or anything other than how much he loves Carlos and how lucky he is to really have him in his life.

…….

TK unlocks the door to Carlos’ place, throws the bag towards what he hopes is the direction of the shoes, and puts his keys down in the bowl by the door, where Carlo’s are already lying. He steps inside and almost jumps out of skin when he sees his boyfriend sitting on the stairs, frowning and very clearly waiting for him. Most of the lights are off and it casts his features into stunning relief, even when angry, Carlos is too good looking for his own good.

“So, you heard?” TK gulps and Carlos nods.

“Yes, yes I did hear, from the group chat, but not just that, every goddamn news station in the state is covering how two firefighters jumped through a minefield to save two boys that were hurt.”

“Well, only one of them was hurt.” TK shuts his mouth when Carlos levels him with a deeply unimpressed look and he takes a slow step forward and tries again.

“In my defense, I am certified and I was qualified to do it.” TK stops, draws in a sharp breath, backtracks. “Are you mad?” 

Carlos lets out a deep breath, and his features soften slightly before he shakes his head, scrubs a hand through his face and when he looks up his eyes are wide and sad.

“No, no, of course I’m not mad. Just extremely worried.”

“Oh?” TK asks, feels confused, scrambling to catch up with the change, having been expecting that Carlos would be upset with him. Carlos huffs and opens his arms and it’s all TK needs for him to take a few steps forward before he sits down between Carlos’ legs, wrapping his arms around his neck, pulling him close. Carlos plants a kiss in his hair, and tightens his grip around TK, almost unconsciously starts stroking his hands down his back and TK lets him, can’t push away the guilt that’s come on so strong, mixing badly with the elevation he’s also feeling after the day he’s had. But when his boyfriend reacts like this it can’t help but leave an acid taste in his mouth too.

“I’m not sure whether I want to never let you leave my arms ever again or brag to everyone that I am for sure dating a hero.” Carlos says and were it not for the slight tremor of his voice that he tries to conceal, TK would laugh. 

“I wouldn’t mind never leaving your arms.” He admits because it sounds appealing, especially now, when adrenaline is starting to make way to exhaustion instead. 

Carlos huffs. 

“You’d get bored after a day or two.” He points out and TK shakes his head.

“You underestimate the excellent sex we do have, I’m sure I could be convinced for three days or so.” Carlos laughs, but then one of his hands wrap around TK’s wrist, feeling out his pulse, comforted by the steady thumping of it. TK lets him, allowing himself after the hectic day he’s had to tuck his face into the crook of Carlos’ shoulder and neck to breathe him in. They both have different ways of calming themselves down when the other one is near and on certain days they need it a little more than on others. 

“Your pulse is beating insanely quick.” Carlos points out after a while and TK hums against Carlos’ neck, gives himself a moment before he detaches himself slightly so he can look at him. 

“Adrenaline.” He shows Carlos his hand that’s still trembling slightly and Carlos’ eyebrow pinch in concern.

“I’m sorry -” TK begins because he really does hate it when Carlos is sad but Carlos shakes his head and interrupts. 

“No, no, this is on me. I know you have a dangerous job that sometimes requires that you take risks, I just wish they didn't have to be this big, a minefield, that’s just insane.” TK nods, he understands.

“But also really cool.” He can’t help but let slip out, eyes alive in excitement and smirking. Carlos snorts and pokes his nose, a little hard maybe, but only a little.

“Yes and designed to give me a goddamn heart attack, you know I’m not even 30, by this rate I’ll be going grey before I hit 35.” He points out, gives TK a look that speaks volumes about how offended Carlos seems to be over that. He laughs and reaches for Carlos’ hair, tugging gently on it.

“I think you’d suit grey really well to be fair.” Carlos wrinkles his nose in distaste and it’s so adorable that he can’t help but laugh again and Carlos distaste slowly melts into something much softer and he sticks his tongue out instead like a mature 26 year old that he is. “And if we’re pointing fingers, remember that hostage situation a while back where an office was shot and I thought it was you because you wouldn’t answer your phone?” Carlos winces and he looks momentarily guilty about that because TK had been so fucking worried he could barely even do his job that day and when Carlos hadn’t answered by the time they were both off shift TK had lost it a little bit. 

“Not my finest moment.” Carlos admits.

“No, so don’t go pointing fingers.” But he’s mostly joking even though that day had been scary as fuck, he so very much understands Carlos’ worry today, he really does. Carlos hums.

“How was it then?” He asks and TK bites at his lip, trying to figure out how to word everything. He turns towards Carlos and sits up on his knees, bringing him eyelevel with him and wraps his arms around his neck. Immediately Carlos’ hands come to rest on his waist, his fingers slipping underneath TK’s jumper to trace skin. 

“It was incredible, well the minefield aside which was scary for sure, but after that I’ve been feeling like I’ve been on this incredibly long lasting high ever since.” Carlos lifts an eyebrow at the metaphor and TK shrugs sheepishly. 

“Yeah, but it’s an apt metaphor for the feeling. I guess I haven’t felt good like that in a while.”

“No?” Carlos asks and there is no trace of judgement or anything in his voice, just kind and curious eyes looking at him. TK nods.

“The only other times I’ve felt this kind of high is you know actually getting high and when I’m with you, I guess the job’s been missing that spark for a while.” Carlos smiles and leans forward to plant a kiss on his nose.

“I’m not totally sure about comparing this relationship to a high.” He points out and TK snorts.

“I’m not, I’m comparing the feeling. Being with you is like pure happiness you know? I feel, just, like I’ve never felt before and even when it’s tough it’s worth it because I love you so much and I know deep down that you love me too and I never don’t want to spend my time with you, so yeah, the feeling is addictive for sure. I really just love you.” He goes quiet and Carlos' eyes have softened and he’s met by a look of pure love and a breathtakingly beautiful smile breaks across Carlos’ face before he pulls TK close and kisses him softly and slowly, making TK’s toes curl inside of his shoes. 

“Fuck.” Carlos whispers against his lips. “I love you too, so much.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Carlos says with adoring eyes and voice full of love before he runs his hand through TK’s hair and gently pulls him close, kissing him hard on his lips again. It’s TK who pulls back though making Carlos lift an eyebrow in surprise because it’s unexpected for TK to be the one to do this, so before TK can chicken out he blurts out the words.

“But I might have done something stupid…”

“Oh?” Carlos asks, amusement dancing in his eyes like he’s totally expecting it. 

“Yeah, I might have handed in my resume to Vega for the position to become a paramedic.” He rushes the words out, hates the silence between them and can’t help but feel ridiculously nervous all of a sudden waiting for Carlos' reaction. Carlos opens and closes his mouth a few times then shakes his head.

“Okay, wait, I think you need to back up a few steps here so I can follow.” He says, confusion evident in his eyes. But he’s giving TK an encouraging look at TK takes in a deep breath.

“The minefield was not fun and the thought of what could have happened to me and my dad while out there was really scary. I’m not trying to take massive risks anymore, not when I have you to come home to.” Carlos smiles, lovingly, and gives him an encouraging look spurring TK on. “But I knew someone had to get to the kid and with the help of my dad and Vega that I could do something about it, so I volunteered. And the elevation afterwards, that all came from saving the kid. It just… it felt really good to save someone, to be the one to actually do it.” TK confesses loudly for the first time since his shift ended and he in the spur of the moment added his name to the pile in Vega’s office, and saying it makes him feel a little calmer than he has ever since walking off the field. 

“Oh, okay.” Carlos says, not fully understanding yet what TK is trying to say, and yet being so patient with him, waiting for TK to figure it out. 

“I don’t know, I sometimes feel like I’m not doing enough in the field, like I could do more... and while I also know that’s not the case because every day we all go out in the field doing our best together. But I think I’ve been carrying this with me for a while now, it’s just that this year has been a lot, and even when there is a pandemic going on people still forget to turn their stove off, and they get into car accidents or have their cats escape up in trees unable to come down. The world hasn’t stopped, it’s been moving and I’ve been moving with it without having the time to reflect a lot on myself and the job. But today, I don’t know, I felt like something just clicked while out there and when I could really help him...I guess, I really liked doing it.” TK blushes because he’s been ranting and he’s averted his eyes but they move back to Carlos by their own accord and Carlos’ eyes have cleared from all earlier confusion, instead understanding has taken over and he nods his head thoughtfully.

“And that’s why you handed in your resume? Because you want to continue doing it?” Carlos fills in and TK nods biting his lip.

“D-do you… Do you think it’s a good idea?”

“It’s not up to me to tell you what to do babe, but you know what?”

“What?” TK asks, hanging onto every word he’s saying. 

“I think you’d be good at it.”

“Yeah?” He asks, hopeful, and Carlos smiles.

“Of course, you’d be amazing at it, if it’s what you want.”

“It is yes, it’s what I want.” TK says with certainty. It’s just clicked, like all that has been shaking loose and upended recently inside of him finally settle a little more.

“Then yes, it’s an amazing idea. You’re going to be so good.” Carlos grins and TK melts because while he doesn’t depend on Carlos’ approval for this it’s so nice to see him be actually happy for him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Carlos promises and TK releases the breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding and his own face breaks into a relieved smile. 

“I think I could be good at it too.” He confesses a little shyly and Carlos beams and pulls TK slightly forward, his forehead resting on his and everything just settles for TK because nothing beats this, nothing beats Carlos. 

“I’m proud of you.” Carlos says and TK can’t bite down the smile. But it falls off his face after a moment and he moves back, looks a little unsure again.

“I might have done something else that wasn’t very smart.” Carlos huffs, lifts an eyebrow, so ever patient with him.

“What did you do now?”

“I didn’t tell my dad…” He trails off and Carlos grimaces but then a look of determination takes over and he shrugs before he gently grasps TK’s face between his hands, stroking a thumb lovingly along his cheek.

“Well, you know what I think?” TK shakes his head. “I think it’s not any of his business really.”  

That surprises TK to be honest and he lifts an eyebrow.

“W-what? I mean really?”

“Yeah, I mean maybe you should have told him before you just went and did it, but it’s your life and not his. And as long as you’re not doing it for someone else then it’s not really his choice to make.”

“I’m doing it for me, it’s what I want.” Carlos’ lip lifts in a proud smile and he nods.

“Good.”

“But, what if he’s not happy?”

“I don’t think he will be unhappy, maybe a little surprised and maybe give him a moment. But if he knows you like I do, then he will realise it’s a good thing.”

“Okay, I hope so.” TK musters up a wane smile, still can’t push away the spikes of anxiety about the conversation he’s going to have to have with his dad. But it can wait, for a little while at least. 

“You know Vega is going to bust your ass right?” Carlos jokes, eyes full of mirth, smirking and TK snorts.

“Yeah, yeah I know.”

“I remember when Michelle started training under her, the stories she would tell me, Vega is badass and she taught Michelle who is also a badass, I’m expecting she’s going to do the same to you.”

“I’m already a badass.” TK reminds him and Carlos chuckles. 

“True, I think she will do you some good though. Challenge you and allow you to really thrive under her, she has that effect on people.” TK nods.

“It’s a tough job…”

“Yeah, but as you said, you’re already a badass, you’re going to do great.”

“It will be nice to be the paramedic, rather than calling one.” TK says and it grows a little more serious between them. 

“I mean -” TK clears his throat at Carlos’ silence. “I have experience of being on the other end and I know what it’s like being helped. I guess a part of me is looking forward to doing the helping.”

“I see, well you care so much about people and if you get a chance to show that, to show them this.” Carlos' hands move to cover TK’s heart and it flutters in his chest, warmth spreading to every cell of his body and he smiles shyly. “Then, well, you’re going to be very good at it.” TK bites his lip and nods.

“It feels… I don’t know, just right.”

“Good, that’s amazing.” TK doesn’t know what to say but he���s grateful, more than how he knows to express at the moment but in the way Carlo’s face softens, maybe he can read between the lines.

“Have you talked to Owen about the baby yet?” TK groans, can’t help but glare, the moment between them broken suddenly, like a bucket of ice cold water has been thrown at him, and he moves his head away, hiding in the crook of Carlos’ shoulder and neck and nibbles at his skin making Carlos chuckle, twitching in his arms.

“No, not yet…” He says though, voice muffled by Carlos’ skin. 

“Well, do you want to talk about it?” TK sighs but takes his head away and meets Carlos’ eyes. 

“I feel… I mean I am happy for them of course but...” He bites at his lip, hard and Carlos reaches forward with his thumb to gently stroke it over the swollen redness making TK stop the action. He takes in a deep breath instead.

“But they always do this, and I don’t even think they are realising it, but they get so single-minded and focused on themselves that they forget everything else. The fighting isn’t fun, I’ve been in the middle of it and I know how lonely and unwanted you can feel when it happens. What they’re doing, it feels like they are just falling into the same patterns as before without even realising that they are, and it’s not going to last if they do it that way.” 

Carlos looks thoughtful and TK feels annoyed and frustrated because he can’t help but think it makes his parents feel so irresponsible and it’s hard to come to terms with that because his parents in their own right are extremely competent people, it’s just when together, they aren’t always. 

“I support you, I always will and your feelings here are valid and to be worried is honestly a sign of growth.” Carlos begins.

“Oh, you're calling me mature, that’s unusual.” TK jokes, changing the subject.

“I mean you’re definitely a hot mess, a terrible terrible driver for sure.” Carlos easily fires back.

“God, did Judd text you?”

“And filmed some of it. This is why I’m never letting you drive my baby.”

“Hold on, I thought I was your baby, and here I find out you have someone else on the side?” Carlos’ arms tighten around him, biting his lip, the smile threatening to take over. 

“What can I say, I really like that car and I paid a lot of money for it.”

“It’s a terrible car for making out in.” TK reminds him and Carlos smirks, reminded of the few times they’ve gotten frisky in it. 

“True, still not letting you drive it.” He teases and TK glares. 

“Rude.”

“Maybe, but I care too much about the possibility of my greying hairs to get here sooner than I’d like to, to get into a car where you are driving us.”

“Well I might be a paramedic soon, so at least you'd be with someone where your odds are fractionally better if you were to get in an accident.”

“Still not letting you drive it Strand.”

“Worth a shot.” TK laughs and Carlos smiles.

“So, do you want dinner or?”

TK shakes his head.

“No, I’m good, but I’m getting too old to sit on my knees like this.” He grumbles and shifts to get the blood running again. Carlos chuckles and makes it all the easier by just scooping him up in his arms. TK yelps and Carlos grins, delighted by the sound. TK wraps his legs around Carlos’ waist, tightens his arms around his neck.

“Please don’t drop me.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it baby.” Carlos reassures grinningly. “So, bed?”

“Bed.” TK agrees.

He lets Carlos carry him up the stairs and into the bedroom, feeling so safe in his arms, that whatever conversation that’s waiting for him tomorrow with his dad, doesn’t matter as much anymore.

[takeyourpillsbitchh]

Carlos cow eyes

Since there wasn’t much context here, I guess I’ll just go with the flow and incorporate those soulful, big, brown eyes into this angsty, hurt/comfort fic that no one asked for 🥰

Also no one asked me to post this at midnight but I can’t sleep so why not 💁🏻‍♀️

⚠️TW: use of the f-slur in regard to a character explaining how it was used as an insult towards them.

It was late by the time TK was unlocking the front door and walking into his and Carlos' shared house. His whole body was sore, he was tired and all he wanted to do was shower, eat something and go pass out in bed. It had been an excruciatingly long day, but he knew the night was far from over.

Stepping into the house, TK sighed, instantly feeling so much relief at just being in their home. Turning back to lock the door, TK rested his head on the cool wood and slid his duffle bag off his shoulder.

"TK?" Carlos called. TK could hear him walk towards the entryway, tensing up and not looking forward to the conversation they were going to have to have tonight. "Hey, my love, are you okay?"

TK said nothing as he turned around, keeping his head hung low, moving to mold his body against Carlos'—strong arms enveloping him in warmth and comfort. Carlos stood there with him for a moment, rubbing his back, kissing his head, and just holding him. After a moment, though, Carlos pulled back, reaching up to caress TK's cheeks.

Brown eyes met blue—soft and sweet until realization filled those brown eyes and his sweet smile melted into a frown.

"Baby, what happened—"

"Can I please go take a shower before we talk?" TK pleaded, leaning into Carlos' touch.

"Of course," Carlos nodded, leaning in to press his lips to TK's forehead. "Want me to heat up dinner?"

"Please." He nodded, pulling away gently. TK made his way toward's their bedroom, stripping down once he reached the joined bathroom and winced at his reflection in the mirror.

His face was a lot more bruised than he originally thought. The bandage on his forehead was spotted with blood, the split on his lip was bleeding again, and his torso was littered with purpling bruises. Stepping into the shower, he switched on the water, sighing when the warm water soothed over his sore skin.

He wasn't sure how long he actually stood there, eyes closed, just letting his body relax as steam built up and surrounded him. Eventually, he built up the strength to wash himself, being extra careful with his forehead when washing his hair.

Getting out of the shower, he dressed in a pair of Carlos' sweats that hung low on his hips and a tank top. Walking out into the bedroom, he smiled softly when he noticed his uniform had been picked up off the floor, his phone had been plugged in and their bedding had already been pulled back.

He made his way back to the kitchen, assuming he hadn't been gone as long as he thought, considering the plate on the counter still had a bit of steam coming off of it.

"I didn't know how hungry you'd be, so I just warmed you up a bit of everything," Carlos spoke gently, setting a glass of ice water next to the plate that held baked chicken breast, mashed potatoes, and asparagus.

"Thank you," He breathed softly, kissing Carlos when he walked around the island and grabbed TK's face.

"Eat up and then we'll go to bed, okay?"

"Okay." TK nodded, leaning in to press another kiss to Carlos' lips before sliding onto the barstool, humming to himself as he took a bite of chicken. "Thank you, it's really good." TK offered a small smile to his boyfriend.

They continued like that, Carlos moving about the kitchen, cleaning up silently while TK ate. He was nearly done when he glanced up to see where Carlos was and realized he was watching him—big brown eyes all lovey and concerned and worried.

"You're doing the thing." He said around the bite of food he had just put in his mouth.

"What thing?" Carlos asked, perfect eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"You're giving me the Carlos cow eyes," TK answered, looking at Carlos pointedly before shoving another fork full of food into his mouth.

Carlos pressed his lips together and let a sigh out through his nose before walking over and leaning across the counter to take TK's empty plate before intertwining their hands together.

"I just wanna make sure you're okay, babe," he said, rubbing his thumb over TK's bruised knuckles.

"I'm fine," TK answered just as softly.

"Wanna talk about it?" Carlos asked, wanting nothing more than to just know what happened to his lover.

TK tilted his head in a motion to tell Carlos to come around the counter, letting Carlos turn his stool and step between his thighs. Big, warm hands splayed over his thighs as Carlos leaned in to press a kiss to his neck. TK leaned into the kiss, relaxing from just being so close to him.

"So, tell me." Carlos prompted, pulling back to look at Carlos, his insides twisting at the bruising on TK's face that already seem to look darker from when he first got home.

"Well, today had been a pretty busy day. Just call after call after call. We were all tired and stressed and just ready to go home. It was like fifteen minutes before our shit was supposed to end when we got a call about a fire and needing backup. So we get there and there is already another crew there so of course, dad goes to find their captain so we can get our orders on what to do," TK explained, his fingers finding the hem of Carlos' t-shirt and playing with it absently, letting them dip under to graze alone smooth caramel skin.

"Anyway, everything was fine you know, but the other captain kinda gave dad the go head to run the call and I guess his crew wasn't very happy about that and got mouthy with dad, saying he wasn't his captain so he didn't have to listen to him and threw it in his face that since he has cancer, he shouldn't even be there." Carlos' mouth dropped open at that and TK nodded in a yeah, I know kind of way.

"So, I stepped in and just told him to back off. We were all there for the same reason and that arguing wouldn't do any good for anyone," TK continued, taking a deep breath and glancing at Carlos, "Then he proceeded to say that if he wasn't gonna listen to a half-ass captain with cancer, he sure as hell wasn't gonna listen to his pussy ass f*ggot son either." TK saw the anger that flashed in Carlos' eyes at that and ran his hand up to Carlos' chest soothingly. "I know that pissed me off, too. And I retorted and I guess it was enough to push him over the edge and he swung on me missed and I swung back and didn't miss, which pissed him off even more. Dad, Judd, and one of the other firefighters broke it up."

"Damn, baby. I'm sorry you had to deal with that." Carlos shook his head, hands moving to TK's waist, making him wince. When Carlos gave him a concerned look, TK bit the inside of his lip and leaned back against the counter, and let Carlos lift up his tank top.

"Jesus, baby," He breathed as the dark bruises on his abdomen were revealed. "Are you okay? You sure nothing is broken?"

"I'm okay, Michelle looked me over before I came home," TK shrugged, looking down to where Carlos was racing over his bruised ribs with feather-light touches.

"You gonna press charges?" Carlos asked. TK snorted a laugh and shook his head.

"Nah. He left looking worse than I do." He shrugged. "Dad said he'd make sure the guy was getting reprimanded. I don't wanna take it any further than that it's not worth it."

Carlos nodded but TK could tell he wanted to push but wouldn't, he'd let TK handle it how he wanted and he really appreciated him for that. Carlos looked down again from Carlos, feeling his chest tighten for a second as he grabbed Carlos' hand.

"You mad at me?" He asked softly, feeling his eyes well up with tears.

"For not wanting to press charges? Of course not, even though I think you should--"

"Not for that." TK cut him off gently, glancing up just long enough to see those confused eyebrows again before looking back down, "F-for getting in a fight."

Carlos was quiet for a moment before reaching out to tilt TK face up by his chin to look at him. "Baby, look at me. I am not mad or disappointed or anything of the sort. It's not like the bar fight where you got into a fight just to fight. He came at you first, it was self-defense and even if it wasn't, I still wouldn't be mad after he said those things about you and Owen."

"Okay," TK nodded, his voice still shaky.

"Let's go to bed, yeah?" Carlos asked, running his fingers through TK's damp hair.

"Will you carry me?" TK pouted at Carlos. "It hurts to walk."

Carlos chuckled before motioning for TK to wrap his arms around his neck. He shifted, wrapping TK's legs around his hips, and lifting him up by the waist, holding him tightly. He stood there just holding TK for a moment, kissing his shoulder, whispering sweet things to him, and swaying gently. TK smiled to himself, pressing small kisses to Carlos’ shoulder and neck and breathing in his sweet, comforting scent.

Once they finally made it to the room, Carlos stripped them both down, completely naked, and they crawled into bed together, cuddling under the sheets—bodies pressed close together from head to toe.

"I love you." Was the last thing TK heard from Carlos' deep, sleepy voice before he fell asleep cuddled against his lover's chest.

[morganaspendragonss]

never been one for goodbyes

In the aftermath, the 126 take comfort in each other.

or

a series of vignettes about the 126 trying to come to terms with the events of s2e2

i may or may not have cried while writing this. spoilers for lone star s2e2 to follow

ao3

Judd doesn’t sleep that night. He pretends to for a while, for Grace’s sake, but when he’s certain she’s asleep again he slips out of bed and moves on silent feet to the patio, making a pit stop in the kitchen for whiskey. His fingers shake as they wrap around the glass and he finds he can’t steady his breathing. It doesn’t help that the air outside is foul, volcanic ash and smoke mingling to clog up his throat, but Judd doesn’t care. He won’t be out here for long, just enough to clear his head before he goes back to bed so Grace won’t find out.

Clearly, though, he’s not as subtle as he thought, because soon enough there are footsteps approaching and hands rubbing gentle circles on his shoulders.

“Come back inside, sweetheart,” Grace says, dropping a kiss on the top of his head.

He shakes his head, swirling his drink. There’s ash in that too, but it doesn’t matter. He wasn’t drinking it anyway. 

“Judd.” Grace sits next to him, taking his trembling hands in hers. She’s looking at him so softly, and it breaks Judd in two.

“I can’t,” he chokes out. “I saw it, Grace, I saw him get hit by that rock, and I just -”

He breaks off and looks away from her, scrubbing roughly at his eyes. Grace nods and squeezes his hands, like she knows what he’s thinking. Hell, she’s probably thinking about it too; Grace had been on the line that night.

Judd had never seen his brothers’ bodies, but he’d seen Tim’s - or what was left of it. And now… Now, he can’t help but imagine their faces transposed onto his, fire reflected in their glassy eyes just as it had been in Tim’s tonight. He feels guilty for it, because Tim was Tim, not his old crew, but he’s stuck back in that night again and his hands won’t stop fucking shaking.

“I can’t do this again, Gracie,” he sobs, curling in on himself to try and contain the hurt. 

Grace’s arms come around him. “You’re not alone, Judd,” she murmurs. “Not now. Not ever.”

And Judd lets go, leaning into her chest and coming apart in her embrace. 

*

He would have been content to stay out here until the sun came up, but Gwyn eventually insists upon him going back inside. He gives in fairly easily, truth be told; Owen is tired of fighting right now. She doesn’t try to coax him to bed, which he’s grateful for, but she does sit with him, a silent, stoic presence at his side. 

“Where’s TK?” she asks after a while. “I didn’t notice him coming in with you.”

“He’s with Carlos, I think.”

“You think?” There’s a quiet note of panic in Gwyn’s voice, and Owen hates himself for causing it. Hates himself more for understanding it, maybe even sharing it a little. “Owen -”

“He’s fine,” he says. “Or, he’s not… He’s with Carlos. That’s what he said, and I believe him.”

Gwyn nods, lips pursed. “Okay.”

They lapse into silence again, Owen feeling the weariness and heavy, heavy grief settling deeper into his bones with each passing moment. He and Tim hadn’t even been that close, but Owen has a duty of care. Everybody who clocks in, clocks out. It’s one of his rules, a rule he’s broken very few times in his career.

The first time was 9/11, his entire firehouse wiped out save for him.

The second was when TK got shot, and Owen thought his world was imploding all over again.

Today was the third time, which makes it three times too many in Owen’s book. It can’t happen again. It won’t.

“Owen,” Gwyn says, and she’s looking at him with those wide, pleading eyes that Owen knows he can’t refuse. “Remember what I said earlier? Please don’t bottle this up.”

Owen swallows thickly. “I won’t,” he says, and he doesn’t know if it’s a lie.

*

TK doesn’t know how long they spend on the stairs, curled around one another. Long enough for his legs to start to cramp, and it’s only the thought that Carlos must be just as uncomfortable that finally persuades him to let go.

“You okay?” Carlos asks as he straightens out, the first words either of them have spoken since TK walked in. 

TK hesitates, a ‘yes’ halfway to his lips, but the lie is bitter on his tongue and he knows he can’t fake it. Not with Carlos. So he simply shakes his head and looks down at the floor, focusing on nothing in particular.

He hasn’t cried yet; he doesn’t know if he will. It’s usually these kinds of nights when the pull to his addiction is strongest - nights like Alex leaving him and finding out about his dad’s cancer and sudden, pointless heartbreak - but he’s just...numb. He keeps playing the call on repeat in his head, from the initial panic to the shock at seeing Tim, and he doesn’t feel it.

He doesn’t feel a goddamn thing.

Carlos takes his hand and gently pulls him upright, offering himself as support. TK takes it, leaning heavily on Carlos as they shuffle to bed, the silence between them a comfort to him. His fingers fumble as he tries to strip off, and Carlos helps with that too, without TK even trying to ask him.

“Thank you,” he manages, his voice coming out hoarse and weak. In response, Carlos offers him a small smile, though it doesn’t reach his eyes, which are wide and expressive and horribly sad.

They fall asleep together as the sun begins to come up, TK’s head resting on Carlos’s chest and Carlos’s arms secure around him. 

It feels safe. It feels like home.

*

Nancy’s been staring at her phone for the post half hour, her thumb hovering over the call button. She needs to do it, she knows this, if only out of basic human decency. But she’s not sure if she has it in her to say the words, not when she’s still expecting Tim to come walking down the hall and joke about her messing up his stuff. 

None of this will be here in a week. Less, even. Captain Vega had promised to give her time, but Nancy doesn’t know if she has the strength to let go. They’d been a team, her and Tim, and Michelle before she left. Now it’s just Nancy, alone in the darkened firehouse, listening to the replacement crew go about their shift as if nothing had happened.

On impulse, and a sudden need to get it over with, Nancy presses call. It rings a few times, Nancy realising that it’s the early hours of the morning and she might not pick up, but then there’s a familiar voice coming down the line.

“Nancy?” Michelle says, her voice heavy with sleep. “Everything okay?”

“Michelle,” Nancy gets out, then stops, the lump in her throat choking her at the prospect of telling Michelle that Tim… That he’s gone.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on?” Michelle sounds more awake now, concern bleeding into her tone. “I saw the volcano on the news; you’re all okay, right?”

Nancy doesn’t respond straight away, and clearly it’s enough to tell Michelle all she needs to know. “Who?” she asks.

“I… It happened so fast. I didn’t even realise at first.” Nancy sobs. “He’s just… He’s gone, Michelle.”

“Who, Nancy?” There’s a sharp intake of breath on the other end. “Not… God, Nancy, don’t tell me it’s Tim.”

Nancy can only choke out an affirmative before another sob crawls its way up her throat, and suddenly she’s sliding off the bench onto the cold floor. Michelle’s crying too, she can hear it faintly down the line, and it’s a small comfort to know she’s not totally alone in this.

*

Mateo doesn’t bother to change before speeding out of the firehouse, letting his legs carry him wherever. He can’t shake the feeling of guilt from his body, like if he’d just tried harder, been faster, done more, he could have stopped it. 

Maybe if he’d helped Tim evacuate his patient. Because, really, Tim shouldn’t have even still been there by that pool. Someone should have helped him. Mateo should have helped him.

He’d heard what the others said. It was nobody’s fault, it was a freak accident, he shouldn’t blame himself… Thing is, Mateo can tell they don’t believe it either. He can see they all feel just as guilty as he does.

Still. Mateo knows it’s not their fault. He just wishes he could believe the same about himself. They’re not the ones who have to prove themselves, after all, but he’s still the probie. Still the one who’s out on his ear if he fucks up - like letting a team member get killed on call.

His feet come to rest outside the church, his breath coming in harsh pants and his whole body aching after running for however long. The sun is well and truly up, so it must have been a while.

He hasn’t been to church in a while, but there’s nothing like a guilty conscience to convince a man to go back. Is it selfish, this desire for redemption?

Does he deserve it?

*

Paul holds her until her tears have dried up and she’s almost collapsing on him, exhausted to her very soul. He holds her after, too, sitting on the gym’s floor with her as she stares blankly into space.

“You can go home, if you want,” Marjan eventually manages, pulling away to wipe at her eyes. “I’ll be okay.”

“I’m good here,” Paul says.

Marjan looks at him then - properly looks at him. She’s not as good at reading people as Paul is, but she’d been a fool to not see how much he, too, is hurting. It makes her feel guilty for forcing him to be there for her, when he’d lost Tim just as much as she did.

“Are you okay?” she asks. Which is a stupid question, because are any of them okay? But it’s also the only question left to them; it’s a reassurance and a comfort and an answer wrapped together.

Paul smiles fleetingly. “No. You?”

“About the same.”

Paul nods and Marjan leans into him, not caring that they’re both sweaty and grimy. They sit in silence for a long while, until the sun is high in the sky and then some, taking comfort in the presence of someone else next to them.

And, carefully, they hold each other together.

[buckybarnesalways]

in this world full of people, there's one loving me

It started out as a normal day. TK woke up cocooned in Carlos’ arms. Seeing that his boyfriend was still asleep, he snuggled in closer and smiled as he felt arms tighten around him. Even in sleep Carlos’ need to hold on to TK was overwhelming. Opening his eyes, Carlos planted a kiss to the top of TK ’s head.

"Good morning, baby ." he rasped, voice still thick with sleep.

Tk looked up at the sound of Carlos’ voice and replied, "It's always a good morning when I wake up in your arms." He flashed his smile that always drove Carlos wild.

He leaned up and captured Carlos’ lips with his in a languid kiss.

"Can we just stay in bed and do this all day?" Carlos asked, smiling down at TK.

"As much as I would love that, we both have a shift in a few hours." TK answered back.

Carlos let his head fall back against his pillow with a dramatic sigh causing TK to giggle.

"Babe we can always lay in bed and make out tomorrow morning on our day off." TK said, placing a kiss on Carlos’ bare chest.

A shiver rolled through Carlos at the feeling of TKs lips and he said, with a pout "That's too long from now, I want to kiss my boyfriend all day right now."

TK pushed himself up and out of bed.

"I guess you’ll just have to use that as an incentive to make it back home!"

Then he laughed and made his way to the bathroom to get ready for work. He was in the shower when he felt Carlos wrap his arms around his waist and place a kiss at the nape of his neck.

"I don't need an incentive to come home to you, Ty." Carlos said quietly.

TK turned around to face Carlos and gently kissed him before saying, "Just knowing you're waiting for me is what keeps me going while on shift."

Carlos smiled, "Now if you could just stay out of danger."

Carlos didn't know then that those words would come back to haunt him.

TK rolled his eyes and turned to continue his shower. They gave each other a lingering kiss as they parted ways, both heading off to their jobs.

Tk walked into the fire house with a huge grin on his face and waved at Nancy as he walked into the locker room. Judd looked at him with a grin of his own.

"Lover boy got you in a good mood today?"

TK blushed and tried to duck his head so Judd wouldn't see.

"That's a definite yes then." Judd replied in his deep southern drawl.

"How do you know it's because of Carlos?" TK asked.

"Well unless there's a new species of giant mosquitos, I'd say that mark on your neck is proof enough."

"What!?" TK exclaimed, rushing to look in the mirror. "Oh my god I can't believe he did this, knowing i had a shift today!"

He was definitely blushing now as he looked wide eyed at Judd.

"Is it really that noticeable?" he asked.

"Nah, it's totally not,'' Judd said "unless you can't see."

He laughed as he left TK alone in the locker room. TK immediately pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a message to Carlos,

"I can't believe you left a mark for everyone to see!"

He put his things away and walked into the kitchen when his phone dinged. Pulling it from his pocket he saw Carlos had responded. He opened the message and grinned,

"You can't believe that I left one mark? At least you don't have to hear the teasing because your chest is covered in them!".

"Hey i gotta let everyone know your mine somehow!" TK sent back.

Carlos replied seconds later, "That's why I left mine where everyone could clearly see it. You just better be glad I love you.

Carlos’ answer made him smile even wider.

"Always."

TK felt his heart flutter as he reread Carlos’ message. He was still staring at his phone when he heard his dad's voice.

"Were you talking to me?'' he asked, pocketing his phone.

"I was just commenting on how happy you looked, it's nice seeing it." Owen told his son.

TK started to reply just as the alarm bell sounded. They ran to their respective vehicles and sped off. If TK had known what was going to happen to him, he would have taken Carlos up on his offer that morning.

They arrived at the scene, piling out of the ambulance. TK immediately noticed the familiar police cruiser parked a little ways away.

"So what are we looking at?" Owen asked as Carlos walked up to the team, smiling quickly at TK.

"A couple of guys robbed a store and when they saw the cops, they bolted and tried to hole up here. I guess they thought starting a fire on the bottom floor while they hid on the second floor would deter the police."

"Criminals are really dumb…" Mateo deadpanned.

"Alright everyone, let's get to work!" Owen ordered.

"TK, you're gonna go in with Captain Strand, there may be victims that need help immediately,'' Tommy said.

"Got it, Cap!" he answered, rushing in behind his father.

Tk found one guy with minor injuries, he bent down to examine him closer but the guy panicked and shoved TK away. As he stumbled backward his foot caught on something and he fell to the ground. When he landed he felt a searing pain in his side, as he looked down to see what the source of the excruciating feeling was, he saw the man he had been trying to help run off. Groaning he began to assess his body, when he saw the huge nail protruding through his back and out his stomach, he shouted for his dad.

Owen appeared and his heart dropped instantly.

"TK! What happened!?"

"Guy panicked and shoved me. I tripped and fell and apparently landed on this board" he told his dad. "Just get me up and outside we can fix it."

Owen reached down and began trying to lift TK up but stopped when he realized that the board wasn't moving. Then he saw the reason why. A huge beam had fallen and splintered and TK had landed just right on one of the cracked pieces. Unfortunately the piece had not completely broken off the beam and was currently wedged underneath the heaviest part.

"TK, son, listen to me, ok? I'm going to have to pull you off this nail." Owen said, exasperated.

"Dad, ''TK said the word slurring a little as the pain was getting to him.

"I know son, this is going to hurt," Owen said as he began pulling TK up.

As soon as TK was completely off the board he started bleeding profusely. Owen threw him over his shoulder and ran as fast as he could. Exiting the building, he started yelling for Tommy and Nancy. They ran over with the stretcher and Owen gingerly laid his boy down as he relayed what had happened.

Carlos was by his side in an instant. He clamped his hands over his lovers wound and TK all but begged, "Carlos whatever you do, please don't look."

Carlos looked at TK, "Babe, you're hurt. I need to see."

"No, Los, it's bad. I don't want you to see it." He argued.

"We really need to get him to the hospital." Tommy stated.

"Of course." Carlos answered. "I'm coming with him."

They loaded him into the ambulance and Tommy immediately went to work.

"Ty, I know you don't want me to but Tommy can't work on it if you won't let her because you don't want me to see." he said, trying to keep his voice firm so TK couldn't hear the fear.

TK looked into his eyes and Carlos almost lost it. He could see how terrified TK was. Tears began falling from TKs eyes.

"Shhhh. " Carlos whispered as he reached down and gently moved TKs hands from where he was still holding the wound. Tommy opened his shirt and Carlos gasped at the amount of blood. The wound itself was horrible, somehow, when Owen was lifting him, the nail had torn sideways thus stretching the hole. Carlos looked away, trying to hide the tears. A weak squeeze to his hand brought him back and he looked at TK.

"Baby, I'll be ok," he said comfortingly.

Carlos wanted to believe him but with the amount of blood loss, he didn't know if it was possible for his boy to be ok. TKs eyes began drifting closed and Carlos knew enough to know he needed to stay awake. He leaned down and held TKs face as he placed a kiss on his forehead .

"Hey, Love, I know you're tired and it hurts but i need you to stay awake." Taking his hand, Carlos lifted it and held it against his chest. "Please Tyler.'' he begged.

TK tried to smile as he looked at Carlos and whispered, "I love you, Los. Please always remember that."

"Hey no, Tyler, you don't talk like that . You're gonna be fine, plus we have plans in the morning remember?".

TK barley nodded his head. "I know, Los... I know…" and then his eyes closed and no matter how much Carlos pleaded, he wouldn't open them.

They finally arrived at the hospital Tommy handed him off to the doctors, who started wheeling him back to the operating room. Carlos was still clinging to his hand when they reached the double doors and a nurse told him he had to stay behind. Nodding his head, Carlos laid TKs hand down and stood there as they wheeled his heart farther away from him and out of sight.

He turned to see the 126 crew rush in through the doors, then his knees gave out and he crumbled. He would have hit the floor but somehow Judd reached him before that happened. He clutched at Judds shirt and screamed.

"I know buddy, he's going to be ok, they'll get him back to you,'' Judd tried to soothe the man sobbing in his arms.

When Carlos was able to get a hold of himself, Judd helped him stand.

"Thank you.'' he said to Judd.

"Don't worry about it, I'd be the same way if it was my Grace.'' Judd replied.

They sat down in the waiting area, Carlos still crying quietly to himself. He had no idea how long he'd been sitting there when he heard a familiar voice next to him. He turned his head and saw Michelle, his best friend. She wasn't alone though, behind her, his parents stood together.

"I knew you would need us all." she said to him.

Carlos stood and walked to his parents wiping at his face.

"Mama, Dad." he said.

"Carlito, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.'' his mother said to him, placing a hand on his arm.

Carlos choked back a sob at her words. He knew he had to tell them, TK was so much more than a friend...

Michelle took his hand to show her support.

"TK isn't my friend," he said, averting his gaze. "He's my boyfriend and the love of my life."

"Oh mijo!'' his mother said, pulling him into a hug.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, Mama. "He said. "I was scared how you would react, I should have told you. I hurt TK so much that day!" he rambled.

"Carlos, " his father finally said, "it's alright. We can talk about that later, right now we're going to focus on making sure TK is going to be ok."

Pulling away from his mother he reached for his father embracing him and whispering a small thank you. Gabriel patted his son on the back as he held him. They let go of each other and took a seat.

"So," Andrea spoke up, "tell us about this boy. I want to know all about the person who has stolen my son's heart."

So Carlos started at the beginning he told them about how they met, their first date, the moment he realized he was falling for TK. He talked for hours without realizing the passing of time. Just as he stopped, he saw a doctor walk in. He rose to his feet before they even walked over.

"Tyler Strands family?" the doctor inquired.

Owen joined him.

"It's TK." Carlos responded. How is he? Please tell me he's ok?"

"He made it through surgery and he should be fine. He lost a lot of blood though and we’re worried about infection since the injury happened in an abandoned building."

Carlos felt a small weight lift from his shoulders and he asked, "When can we see him? I need to see him."

"As soon as he's set up in a room, he can receive visitors but only two at a time please.' the doctor answered.

"Of course. Thank you, Doctor ." Owen said, shaking the man's hand.

As the doctor walked away, Owen turned to Carlos, "I know you want to see him but I think me and his mother should be the first ones."

"You're joking, right?!" Carlos said, his voice angry. "You want me to wait to see the most important person in my life so that the two people who have done nothing but break his heart these last few months can see him first?!"

"Son," Gabriel said, placing a hand on his shoulder, " They're his parents."

Carlos sighed, "I'm sorry...I just really need to see him but your right... His parents should be first."

He sat back in his chair, clenching his fists.

A nurse walked in and relayed that TK could now receive visitors. Owen and Gwen stepped forward and the nurse ushered them to his room.

Michelle reached over and pried Carlos’ hand open, slipping her hand into his. He looked at her and sighed. He sat back to wait for TKs parents to return.

About 30 minutes later, Gwen walked back into the waiting room and approached Carlos.

"You can go see him now. Owen wanted to stay with him but I knew how much you were hurting and needed to see him."

He gave her an affirming nod and almost ran to TKs room. He walked into the room and took a shaky breath as he saw TK. He rushed over and took his hand.

"Hey, Ty, baby I'm here now." he said.

Owen sat down on one side of the bed and Carlos sat on the other. Both men were silent as they waited for their boy to wake up.

Nearly an hour later, Carlos felt a small movement from the hand he was holding.

"Ty, are you awake? Open your eyes, baby, please." Carlos said, jumping up from the bed.

Slowly, TK peeled his eyes open and gazed at Carlos.

"Los?" he rasped.

"Shhh baby, I'm right here." Carlos said, reaching out and stroking his cheek.

Owen went to get a doctor, leaving Carlos alone with TK.

"I'm so glad you're awake." Carlos said to him. " I was so scared I was going to lose you."

TK tried to answer but his throat was dry and he couldn't speak. Carlos poured him a glass of water and helped him take a few sips.

After a moment TK spoke, " I'm sorry I scared you, Los, and of course I came back to you. My incentive was too good to pass up." he smiled when Carlos let out a small chuckle.

Owen and the doctor arrived.

"Glad to see you back with us, Mr. Strand." the doctor said. " I just have a few things to go over and then I'll leave you alone, alright?"

"That's fine.'' TK answered as the doctor began going through his checklist.

When the doctor was finished and had left the room, Owen spoke up,

"I'm going to go tell everyone the good news." He placed a hand on TKs shoulder. "I'm so glad to see you awake, son."

He left the room and TK looked at Carlos, who had been staring at him the whole time.

"Whose all here? He asked Carlos.

"The entirety of the 126, Grace, Tommy’s husband, Michelle and…" he paused, afraid of how TK would react to his parents being there. "My mom and dad are here as well" he finished.

TK looked at him, "Baby, please tell me that you didn't have to censor your feelings tonight?"

Carlos shook his head," I told them who you are to me and they actually didn't mind at all. They still want to have a conversation about why I lied but they're willing to wait."

" I'm glad." TK replied, " I hated seeing how much it was bothering you to lie to them.

" Can we talk about them later?" Carlos asked, " I need to do something right now."

TK answered, "Of course." and then Carlos’ lips were on his. TK smiled as they broke apart.

"Starting early I see." he joked.

Carlos answered by leaning in and kissing him again. Carlos rested his forehead against TKs and whispered, " I love you so much, Tiger."

TK whispered, " I love you too." and kissed Carlos on the cheek.

Carlos snuggled in next to him, when he was comfortable, he laughed and said, " The doctors are in for a surprise in the morning!" his eyes shined with love as he looked at TK.

" Yep, they're definitely gonna have their hands full!" he said laughing with Carlos.

They lay there together, just holding each other until sleep overtook them both.

[wearecaptaingeorgiou]

Captain Georgiou January - February Day 3′s scheduled creation is by Al @dykekeit​. Thank you to Al for sharing this essay!

Here’s the thing: this story isn’t about me. I’m white and Jewish―not exactly lacking for representation in Star Trek, even if I am a lesbian―not with the ta’al itself coming from the Kol Nidre service, not with Benjamin Sisko’s character more closely resembling Moses than any other religious figure. How many times have I seen myself, loved myself, in Trek? I’ve taken heart in Leonard Nimoy’s Yiddish, in Jim Kirk’s Tarsus IV backstory, in Benjamin Sisko the reluctant prophet and in Kira Nerys, fighting for her traditions amidst pressure to assimilate or die.

And yet, the first time I saw the trailer for Discovery, I almost burst out crying hearing Michelle Yeoh’s voice—her accent, the way she pronounced Shenzhou, seeing her in the captain’s chair—because it felt so much like home.

Like I said, this story isn’t about me. This is a story about my sensei.

I still don’t know what name she was born with, growing up just outside of Hong Kong. When she arrived in the United States, there was no large Chinese community on the east coast in those days; she didn’t speak English, and no one around her spoke Cantonese. She was alone, totally alone. I still can’t fathom the sheer amount of chutzpah it took for her to stand her ground and carve out her place the way she did, but I know what it took: a skill for organization, a love of scheduling, a gift for disdainful silences, and an intense, rigid sense of etiquette. When you stand barely five feet tall, it’s all necessary.

Sensei loves gardening and darjeeling tea, and hates anything sweet to the point that I have gone out of my way to buy her chocolate above 70% grade dark. Oh, and did I mention? She loves Star Trek.

Sensei gravitates towards characters like Spock, like Data: immigrants, constant strangers among new and adopted cultures alike, repeatedly explaining their differences and saving face and proudly, wholly themselves, no matter if people understand them or not. They are characters who defy expectations and use every difference as a strength, no matter if it’s supposed to be a weakness. I wonder, sometimes, as she’s teaching me about the protective properties of jade bracelets and how the good Jewish delis she knew used to serve thinly sliced beef tongue for sandwiches, but not any more—were the stars visible in Hong Kong, growing up? Did she want to escape to the dark sky, to the other side of the world—anywhere?

How did I meet her? Well, when she was thirty-nine, my sensei took up kendo, the Japanese martial art of fencing, and almost twenty-five years later, she had reached fifth-dan (that’s fifth degree black belt!) Into her dojo I stumbled. Picture this: me, a clumsy, skinny Jewish lesbian, never worked out in my life, thought swords were kind of cool, walking into a dojo and finding a sixty-something Chinese woman who, though she barely came up to my chest, could kick the butts of every single much-younger six-foot-plus male student she had.

I guess it’s not surprising I stayed.

Over the next six years, my sensei taught me everything, and not just about kendo. In between correcting my wrist angles, my posture, my follow-through, my footwork, my uniform, my dojo etiquette, and anything else she could think of, there were moments of life coaching: how to focus, how to be disciplined in everything I do, how to help, how to put other people first. When I burst out crying during practice, she reminds me that the dojo is a safe place for emotions. She introduced me to Hong Kong-style diner food, showed me real dim sum and how to order and eat and share it properly, cultivated a lucky money plant for me to bring home and instructed me where to put it in my house for best feng shui, advised me to begin acupuncture for stress, told me to take more initiative when pouring tea for other visiting sensei. On the worst day of my life, I wanted her advice. Once, I managed to get a signed copy of Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club addressed to her personally. When I presented it to her and she learned I hadn’t read it, she turned around and gave it right back to me, insisting with a smile that I read it first so that we could talk about it together.

In the middle of all of it, a new Star Trek show, called Discovery, was announced, and soon, a new trailer dropped. The captain’s name was Philippa Georgiou, and she was played by Michelle Yeoh.

I did nearly burst out crying. It was Michelle Yeoh, but all I could see was Sensei, in command and speaking her accented English, proof of a past beyond a Starfleet that demanded “standard” English for assimilation.

Captain Georgiou was concerned with etiquette, both social and honor-bound: Starfleet doesn’t fire first. In the dojo, I am to bow respectfully, I am to shake hands and thank my opponent after every match, I do not hit just to hit or shy away in fear. The only way a kendo match works is with mutual communication; an opponent is not a faceless thing to be beaten so much as a partner to create opportunities. We may strike first, but we are not aggressors.

Captain Georgiou said: the best way to know yourself is to know others. Take care of those who are in your care. I still remember the time I watched a fellow dojo member rush across the tournament floor because someone had the wrong-colored tasuki to change it without a thought—because he had noticed a problem, therefore he must help. I sat there, frozen. I told Sensei this story later with absolute wonderment and shame and she just smiled, patted my hand, and shared some of her favorite raisin walnut bread with me. She knew the lesson had stuck. Other times, she has snapped at me for forgetting to hold a door open for other people, but—

Captain Georgiou: disciplined, teasing, dedicated, setting stars and valuing candor: your confidence is justified. My shock when Sensei first told a few of the other girls and I some dirty jokes late at night before that same tournament was only matched by how funny it was, and how it was immediately followed with a discussion of our weaknesses in shiai combat, and what our approach both physically and mentally would be for the tournament the following day.

I wonder, through fanfiction and fanart and discussion with others, what Philippa shared of the universe with those around her—with Michael, with Saru, with all those under her care.

I once told Sensei that reading The Joy Luck Club and trying to understand all the Chinese cultural nuances from an outside perspective was like looking through a waterfall, or trying to see through a beaded curtain—seeing outlines, but not being able to grasp details. She smiled, and nodded, and said, “yes.” What she meant was, of course I couldn’t, and no one would be able to explain every detail to me―not if I didn’t live it, but more importantly, not if I didn’t ask questions. When Captain Georgiou brought Michael Burnham to the bridge for the first time, she said, “This can be your new home, if you want it to be.” She asked for little but trust and mutual respect from a certain Vulcan-raised human who needed to re-integrate into an all-too-familiar but still foreign culture. The dojo is foreign, and it is my home, and I must always ask questions.

A human who had seen a life of loss, but still chose hope. A mentor who saw everything as a lesson, full of expectations both written and unwritten. And I, or Michael Burnham, watching her set a star.

Sensei: 谢谢, I love you, and I hope to see you in person soon.

Al

[punksarahreese]

hi hello could i maybe get "I don’t wanna die this way" for lone star? please hurt me however u choose

Hello^^ you certainly can 😌🌸

Don’t want to (die) | Marjan Marwani

Canon; A call goes awry and no one was expecting this outcome

Prompt: “I don’t wanna die this way”

Word count: 1515

CW: mentions of dying and medical emergencies

Send me prompts from the Penelope Scott lyrics list

***

It’s not a call that Michelle was ever expecting to get, or maybe it was something she just prayed would never happen. No amount of manifesting would prevent this, though, and Owen’s frantic tone over the radio had her heart dropping.

“Ladder 126, EMS needed immediately at our position,” Michelle wasn’t prepared for the words that followed, “Code 26.”

Injured firefighter, EMS required.

That had Nancy rushing for their bags from the rig, throwing them on the gurney as quickly as she could. Michelle was already running ahead, calling back for Tim to stay there and look after their patients, her own bag bouncing against her thigh with every movement. She cursed under her breath as she stumbled, worry for her crew clouding her awareness. Code 26, not an uncommon code in this line of work but certainly not one she had heard for a while. The last time she did must have been when TK was shot, which had been a whole other kind of chaos.

“Who?” she didn’t have any time for panic as she tried to depersonalize from it all, a hand falling on Judd’s shoulder to get his attention. The man looked at her through his visor, worry etched into his face as he pointed to where most of the crew was crowding around. This was just supposed to be a normal fire response, a small apartment complex with a fire on the third floor, and she was sure everyone had evacuated on time. She was only gone from the main scene for ten minutes, helping parents find their children and checking people for smoke inhalation and minor burns. They hadn’t had a firefighter injury in a while, this was such a minor scene she wasn’t sure how it had even happened. Judd seemed to be questioning the same thing but she didn’t have the time to consider how much his memories were haunting him at that moment.

“Marjan…”

Nancy had caught up with her by then and she nudged her Captain forward, though when their eyes met Michelle could tell she was just as worried. She could feel the pit of anxiety gnawing away at her stomach, her friend’s life at risk here. Still, they had to be smart about this, Marjan needed them and they would have to wait to feel later.

“Captain,” Michelle bounded over to the others, “What happened?”

Owen turned to look at her, standing up properly from his previously crouched position. Mateo was on the ground, looking like anxiety incarnate, and beside him was Marjan. Laying on the sooty asphalt with her turnout coat nowhere to be found and she looked worse for wear. Instead, her long sleeve was exposed and Michelle could see blood seeping from somewhere and covering the white fabric in a nauseating amount. She was on the ground with them in seconds, leaning over Marjan before Owen had even managed to speak.

“The ceiling,” it was TK who spoke instead, “She went back to get a kid… the building was unstable.”

“Someone decided it was a brilliant idea to take off her coat and cover the kid with it,” Judd interjected, “The smoke was disorienting and we couldn’t get to her in time. The lobby ceiling fell.”

Michelle was nodding but all of her attention was on Marjan, shining her penlight in her eyes and sighing when her pupils reacted properly. The woman in question was watching her weakly, her breathing unsteady but she was still alert enough to know what was going on. There didn’t seem to be any head or facial trauma, which was a relief, but her main worry was her abdomen.

“BP is high and she’s tachy,” Nancy told her as she leaned over with a stethoscope to confirm, speaking gently to Marjan before she did anything. Michelle was glad Nancy was there, her caring nature always helping to soothe their patients.

“Marjan, let me know if this hurts, okay?” She didn’t lift her shirt for the sake of her privacy and instead palpated the injured area over the soaked fabric. The gentle pressure had her crying out almost immediately, arms jerking up to cover her stomach. It was very un-Marjan like in nature, since she was always fearless and hated to seem weak. Michelle apologized gently but her concern was only rising with that reaction.

“Abdominal guarding and tenderness,” she turned to TK, “What fell on her?”

“A chair from the upper hallway along with a large chunk of the ceiling.”

“Damn,” she looked to Nancy again, “Notify the nearest hospital that we have an incoming patient with blunt force abdominal trauma. Looks like a couple broken lower ribs and I’m worried about her spleen.”

“Alright.”

“Request a female trauma surgeon if possible,” she added before looking back down at Marjan, “You with me, Mar?”

Never one to appear weak even on death’s door, Marjan nodded as much as she could, “Mhm.”

“Anything else hurt right now?”

“How a-about eve-everything…” she let out a shaky laugh, which only made her wince as it jostled her ribcage. That only solidified Michelle’s assumption about fractured ribs, which usually caused a rupture of the spleen in cases like this. She hadn’t seen anything pressing during her secondary assessment but she was worried about other internal injuries or shock setting in too fast.

“We’re going to get you on the backboard then, okay?” she motioned for Mateo to stand and grabbed the board from on top of the gurney, passing it over to Paul so he could slide it under her from his side. She crouched by her shoulder, catching her attention again.

“We’re going to roll you onto your side, you know the drill.”

The transfer was painful for everyone, with Marjan unable to hide her agony at being moved in such a way. They hated seeing her like this, knowing they were only causing her more pain, but it was necessary. She cried out as they slid the board under her body, allowing Michelle a second to check for any injuries on her back. Getting her up onto the gurney was less of an event, though her stats had dropped enough in the move for Nancy to get worried.

“Captain Blake,” she said, “BP dropped and O2 stats in the 80’s.”

“Okay, we need to get going, I’ll run oxygen in the bus.”

With that they transferred her across the parking lot, back to the safe area that had been designated for the civilians to gather. Tim was waiting among them, rushing over to ask what had happened. Michelle was preoccupied with talking to Owen, trying to tell him as simply as she could how her prognosis looked.

“She’ll need a CT to confirm but I think there’s a good chance her spleen ruptured,” she told him, “I know you needed to move her from the building but I do hope you all didn’t jostle her too much.”

“We were as careful as possible but I couldn’t risk anyone getting trapped,” he rubbed a hand over his face, “Take care of our girl, Michelle.”

“We’ve got her,” with that she hoisted herself into the back of the ambulance, beside Nancy who was already getting the oxygen mask situated for Marjan. Tim checked from the front to make sure they were ready and then started the rig, lights and sirens on the second they pulled out of the parking lot.

Michelle busied herself with starting an IV in her arm, knowing she would need fluids if they wanted to keep her stats relatively stable. Her oxygenation had improved but her blood pressure was still worrying, not to mention how thready her pulse seemed when Michelle pressed her fingers to her wrist momentarily. That was never a good sign, especially with the way her eyes unfocused and her response to stimuli had decreased.

“Marjan,” she leaned a bit closer to meet her glassy eyes, “You stay awake for me.”

“T-trying…” she murmured, “Hurts.”

“I know,” looking at her crewmate she asked for a dose of morphine that would hopefully help until they got her to the ER. Nancy administered the painkiller as quickly as she could, reminding Marjan that she was doing well and they would get her help.

When the other woman leaned towards the front to ask Tim about their ETA, Marjan reached out weakly. She caught Michelle’s hand, making the EMT look at her with concern.

“I-” she took a shaky breath and tried to blink away the tears that clouded her vision, “I don’t w-wanna… die this way.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Michelle told her firmly, “We’ve got you. You never let anything stop you before, Marjan, you can get through this.”

“M… Michelle?”

“I’m right here, Mar.”

“I-” her sentence never finished as the firefighter’s eyes rolled back slowly, unable to properly hear Michelle’s words of panic as she noticed what was happening. Marjan tried to stay alert, she really did, but the pain was too much. She felt like she was suffocating, the heavy weight in her abdomen slowly radiating up her body. She could feel hands on her, knew Michelle was with her, but she couldn’t focus. The only thing she was aware of was the aggressive beeping of the monitor that preceded her descent into unconsciousness.

[tempestaurora]

FANDOMS: Marvel, Voltron: Legendary Defender, The 100, Harry Potter, The Raven Cycle, Community, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Umbrella Academy

NOTES:

i tagged every tumblr i could reasonably find. if you have more than one fic on this list, i have tagged you more than once. some people may be tagged like five times. i’m not sorry.

where relevant, fandoms have been split into general (platonic) centric fics, and romantic/slash fics. this is just because it’s easier than splitting it up into specific relationships.

at the end of every fic title/author line is a list of core relationships; fics are split between gen and romance depending on what relationship is considered centric. otherwise, fics are in no particular order. All fics are completed unless otherwise specified.

i added a read more because there’s over 100 fics listed here.

anyway, enjoy, thanks for the 3k followers

M A R V E L

gen centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

K.I.D. by blondsak @blondsak | Tony&Peter

summary: “Hi K.I.D. Glad you’re awake. Do you know your primary objective?”

“To always look for ways to remind Mister Stark - that’s you! - that Kindness Isn’t Dead.”

“That’s right, K.I.D. Good job.” 

forty miles by peter_stank @peter-stank

summary:  the one where Morgan is sick and Tony is in way over his head, so he calls his spiderson for a little bit of help. Tony&Peter

from now on by peterparkr @peterparkrr |  Tony&Peter

summary: Peter’s sure that Tony and Pepper’s wedding will change everything. 

Machine Wash Hot; Tumble Dry Low by alice_in_ink | Tony&Peter

summary: Do you ever fall into sewers and then need your billionaire mentor to wash your super-suit? Peter Parker does too. 

Captain That by maddo | Tony&Peter

summary: Just a bunch of little anecdotes regarding our favourite spider and his Instagram account, feat. a meme-tastic Tony Stark.

Here's to all the new beginnings by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter

summary: Peter gets a job. Tony is less than pleased. 

to know, to protecc, and to fuck with by peterstank and floweryfran @peter-stank @floweryfran | Tony&Peter, Natasha&Peter, Sam/May

summary: peter parker convinces the responsible adults in his life to join him on the world’s stupidest stake-out. 

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

i used to have nothing and then by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Clint&Natasha

summary: “Clint,” Natasha said. “You’ve got to let me go.”

“Clint,” she said, and he let her go. 

the hearth by sagemb |  Tony&Peter

summary: What to Do When Your Wife Is Out of the Country: A Guide by Tony Stark

1) Gain partial custody of a child 2) Sleep on the couch 3) Have the child gain partial custody of you.

Love in Ones and Zeroes by forensicleaf @forensicleaf | Tony&Peter

summary: a boy, a bot, and a bond through the years. Tony&DUM-E

call you home SERIES by Madelinedear | May&Tony, Tony&Peter

summary: sometimes family is who you're born with. and sometimes family is a spider boy, a rich not-dad, and a kickass aunt. (or; tony, may, and peter find a place in each other's lives) 

Not-Uncle Tony by Jen27ny @jen27ny | Tony&Peter, Happy&Peter

summary: Happy is Peter's biological father, and Tony is there for the entire ride. 

Between how it is and how it should be by frostysunflowers @frostysunflowers | Peter&Bucky, Tony&Peter, Steve&Bucky

summary: ''Doesn’t Captain Rogers ever…wonder,'' Peter winced as he fumbled for the right word, ''where you are?''

Bucky smirked. ''Steve’s a regular mother hen. Used to be me that worried about him.'' He gave Peter a pointed look. ''Better question is, isn’t Stark wondering where you are?''

The Unfortune Teller by peterparkr @peterparkrr | Tony&Peter

summary: A woman in a carnival booth predicts Peter's death. 

all the things yet to come (are the things that have passed) by peterparkr @peterparkrr | Peter&Morgan, Tony&Peter

summary: The first time Peter sees Morgan is at the funeral. 

tony and peggy’s big day out! by floweryfran @floweryfran | Tony&Peggy

summary: “What’s happened this time?”

“Just a bombing,” says Peggy.

“At three in the afternoon?” says Jarvis. “Frankly, how rude.”

Blips on the Record by ambivalentangst @ambivalentmarvel | Flash&Peter, Tony&Peter

summary: Flash Thompson’s story is not simple, Peter Parker can always use someone else in his corner, and secrets are had and protected by all. 

aiding and abetting: a peter parker saga by floweryfran and peterstank @floweryfran @peter-stank | Peter&Avengers

summary: 5 times peter parker runs into the rogues separately + the 1 time they work together as a team. 

Tennessee Outreach for Spider-Man (and friends) by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Harley&Peter, Harley&Tony

summary: in an attempt to help Harley beef up his college apps, Tony offers Harley a remote Stark Industries internship to help Spider-Man. It easily becomes his worst nightmare. 

Allston Christmas by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter, Tony&Peter&Rhodey

summary: “You guys didn’t have to do this,” Peter says from where he sits squeezed into the middle seat of the U-Haul, sweat running down his back. The air-conditioning in the truck they’ve rented is broken, and even with the windows rolled down it’s hellishly hot inside.

“We wanted to,” Tony replies as he blasts the horn at a minivan with a “Harvard Mom” bumper sticker that is attempting to cut into his lane.

so happy together by floweryfran @floweryfran | Tony&Ben

summary: ben parker calling tony stark a twink for 13k words

LONG (20K+)

An Unofficial Introduction to the Avengers SERIES by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_so @isnt-it-pretty-to-think-so-tr | Tony&Peter

summary: The Avengers meet Spiderman via the online world, and then meet Peter Parker in Stark's living room. It takes them longer than it should to put two-and-two together. 

what is and will be (is you and me) by momentofmemory @momentofmemory | May&Peter

summary: 5 times May was there for Peter, +1 time he was there for her. 

dear mr. fantasy by iron_spider @iron--spider | Tony&Peter

summary: He grits his teeth and turns around, and before he can even begin to trudge over towards Peter’s room, he’s stopped in his tracks. By a door. In the middle. Of the living room.

“Well that’s new,” he says, still rooted to the spot.

timshel SERIES by justanotherblond @blondieewritess | Bucky&Peter, Steve/Bucky

summary: The soldier doesn’t remember his son’s birth or how he came to be. He doesn’t remember bedding a woman and watching her belly swell, but they said the boy was his. He does know that he will protect and teach the boy within the confines of their cell walls. Even when the handlers berate him. Even when the good guys take him away. 

odd couple buddies SERIES by bysine | Peter&Bucky, Sam&Thor, Tony&Peter

summary: "You know you're not supposed to call him the Winter Soldier any more, right?" Peter says, while they handcuff him to a pipe. A pipe. "Also this whole thing is kind of messing up my schedule. My two overdue papers won't exactly write themselves."

i understand (i’m a liability) by floweryfran @floweryfran | Harley&Tony, Harley&Peter

summary: “I… am not being challenged in the right ways here,” Harley says slowly, carefully.

“Then move here,” Tony says, and Harley’s heart drops straight into his feet. 

Roundabout by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter

summary: In which Peter attempts to survive long enough to graduate, Tony moonlights as a semi-professional party planner, and absolutely nothing goes according to plan. 

Uncle Steve's Fix-it Freelance Gig (and friends) SERIES by whowhotellsyourstory | Steve&Morgan, Tony&Steve, Bucky&Peter

summary: "You ever need help, and I'm not there-""Why wouldn't you be there?""You call Uncle Steve."

notes: probably my favourite post endgame fix it fic/series in existence

Dumpster Fires Verse SERIES by deniigiq @deniigi | Peter&Wade&Matt

summary: A collection of Team Red stories because they are all hot messes. Except Peter. Two-Thirds of them are hot messes.

Impression, Sunrise by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Peter&Morgan

summary: In Peter Parker's eyes, Morgan Stark is a lot of things: a terrible pancake chef, a top notch negotiator, the world's cutest six-year old. But above all, she is his family. He hopes he's enough. 

The Room Where It Happens by notapartytrick @notaparty-trick | Tony&Peter

summary: At 7:36 pm on the 12th of May 2016, Tony Stark is put in the Room.

A twelve-by-twelve-foot shed, soundproofed, double locked. It becomes his home. It has to be, because there’s nowhere else.

At 4:22 pm on the 15th of June 2017, Peter Parker is put in the Room.

They make a living under duress, fearing at every moment the entry of their captor. Confinement halts their lives in their tracks, changes them both for good: breaks them and brings them together simultaneously.

“If someone has everything they need, but nobody, do they have everything? Or nothing?”

romance centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

written in the star(war)s by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Peter/Michelle

summary: Michelle looks at the nurse one more time, and despite the evidence, asks, “Are you sure it’s twins?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” the nurse points them out again. “One boy, and one girl. Due...May 4th.”

It only takes Michelle 2.3 seconds to realize the horror of that sentence. 

Steve Rogers is (Not) A Good Influence by stevergrsno @stevergrsno |  Steve/Bucky, Steve&Peter

summary: Steve Rogers' American Tour Of Waiting For His Brainwashed Boyfriend To Come Back And Blowing Up Hydra is interrupted when Tony Stark dumps Peter Parker into his lap.

Captain ‘Socialist Rage Muffin’ America by mybrotherharry @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah | Steve/Tony, Steve/Tony/Bucky

summary: It takes three months of dating Steve Rogers for Tony to understand why Aunt Peggy once shot at him in sheer frustration.Alternately titled, Honey, I committed treason again. 

Soft Spot for the Hell Raisin' Boy by ifeelbetter @ifeelbetterer | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Winter Soldier takes an interest in Sam Wilson. Bucky Barnes wants to tell him how to be Steve Rogers's best friend.

Cat’s Cradle by Traincat @traincat | Peter/Felicia

summary: The test was positive.

Felicia tilted it idly this way and that, sitting on the bathroom floor with her back against the cupboard. The floors and the counter tops were marble, and the shower door was glass. Every one of Felicia’s moves seemed to echo in the large room, even though she knew that she was making no sound.

The test was positive. She didn’t bother to check the box to make sure she’d gotten the little symbols right. She’d known before she took it.

“Well,” she breathed out, tilting her head back to inspect the ceiling. “Damn, Spider.”

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

cross this river to the other side by defcontwo | Steve/Bucky

summary: In 1943, the Howling Commandos wrote goodbye letters to be given to their loved ones in the event of their deaths.In 2014, Sharon Carter finds those letters in a tin can in an abandoned HYDRA base. 

Tony Stark Googled The Thing by mybrotherharry @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah | Tony/Pepper, Tony&Peter

summary: When Morgan is six months old, Pepper goes back to work and Tony takes over as stay-at-home dad. Discovering the mommyblogosphere is the inevitable next step.

Winter Soldier Program by NocturneByChopin | Steve/Bucky

summary: Here’s the thing: he’s got a bit of a secret. It involves a boy that went and became famous when Steve wasn’t looking. 

i was found and now i don't roam these streets by hipsterchrist | Steve/Bucky

summary: Bucky relearns himself and how to be on a team, the rest of the Avengers try to get answers, and everyone watches too much Criminal Minds. 

Between a Rock and a Hard Place by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Michelle/Peter, Michelle&Happy, Tony&Peter

summary: Ever since her mother died a few years back, Michelle's relationship with her father became strained in their grief. One night, after she's forced to show up at Peter's covered in bruises and in need of stitches, she remembers that even the most unsuspecting dormant volcanoes can erupt.

Brooklyn by togina @toli-a | Steve/Bucky

summary: "Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"

Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.

Steve Rogers at 100: Celebrating Captain America on Film by eleveninches, febricant, hellotailor, M_Leigh, neenya, tigrrmilk | Steve/Bucky

summary: Steve and Bucky find out Hollywood has been busy since they went away. A historical survey, including but not limited to: one set of exploded genitals, a brief interlude in France, Mel Gibson and other masterworks of casting, eight Academy awards, several dinosaurs, and something Tony Stark has ominously dubbed “the masterpiece.” Art included.

Project: Get Bucky Barnes a Dog by ruxian | Steve/Bucky

summary: Bucky Barnes does not have a dog. Bucky Barnes does not want a dog. Sam thinks that should change. Bucky does not agree. 

On My Radar by sprinkle_of_cinnamon | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Winter Soldier first noticed it when he was on the helicarrier.

The blonde’s shoulders were broad, incredibly broad.

They stretched the blue uniform in a wide span, drawing down to a narrow waist. It was a distinctly triangular silhouette. It was entirely improbable. And somehow it was strangely familiar.

The Winter Soldier raised his gun and fired. He didn’t have time for distractions, or Steve Rogers’ shoulders. 

LONG (20k+)

despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter @praximeter | Steve/Bucky

summary: “Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.” 

notes: may i say a massive fucking HOLY SHIT??????????? incredible. iconic. life-changing.

United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) by fallingvoices and radialarch | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Associated Press @AP Winter Soldier set to stand trial for Washington D.C. massacre and treason apne.ws/1og6SWE 

Bucky Barnes: Former Disney Channel Star SERIES by mambo @whtaft | Steve/Bucky

summary: "The question the entertainment world is asking themselves today is... Who is Steve? Hollywood superstar Bucky Barnes was spotted at a wrap-party last night, serenading someone named Steve onstage.” 

Not Easy Conquered SERIES by dropdeaddream and WhatAre Fears | Steve/Bucky

summary: In 1945, Steve Rogers jumps from a nosediving plane and swims through miles of Arctic Ocean to a frozen shore.

In 1947, Steve Rogers marries Peggy Carter.

In 1966, the New York Times finds the lost letters of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

notes: if you’ve read stucky, you’ve read this series. i know this. just like i know that its the most GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL series ever written. no topping it. it’s number 1.

Strays by snarklyboojum @snarklyboojum | Steve/Bucky

summary: After finding himself alone for the first time in decades, the Winter Soldier learns how to be a person again. Mostly through caring for an orphaned kitten, countless rounds of YouTube roulette, and stalking Captain America. 

hold me until we crumble by queenklu @queenklu | Steve/Bucky

summary: “Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”

notes: one of my favourite standalone fics i’ve ever read

half awake in a fake empire SERIES by idrilka | Steve/Bucky

summary: In the aftermath of Steve's return to the world of the living and the battle of New York, the academia and the Internet react.

by the river potomac i sat down and wept by peterstank @peter-stank | Steve/Bucky

summary: bucky barnes atones.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell SERIES by AnnaFugazzi | Steve/Bucky

summary: Captain America and Bucky Barnes were like brothers. Everyone knew that. 

Out of the Dead Land by orphaned account | Steve/Bucky

summary: Someone is building machines that look and act like people.

Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier tries to be Bucky Barnes.

V O L T R O N:  L E G E N D A R Y  D E F E N D E R

romance centric fics

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

called out your name (but it was too late) by arahir @arahir | James/Keith, Shiro/Keith

summary:  An old classmate watches Keith fall in love with someone else. 

so much for the after party by arahir @arahir | Shiro/Keith

summary: Shiro gets his groove back.

i breathe disaster by arahir @arahir | Shiro/Keith

summary: After the wedding, Keith leaves Earth in search of something he can keep. 

notes: what doES THIS M E AN?!!!??!!?!?! i cried over this ending. i cr i e d. actual real tears. it was so upsetting somehow. and i am so confused. and i went and found the author’s imagined ending in the comments to help understand the open one and it just made me SADDER. i think this is one of those fics that tries to teach me to read the tags and back away at the word “angst”. anyway, excellent, everything i’ve read from this author was incredible

LONG (20K+)

Alien Sex Fiend by Glossolalia | Shiro/Keith | WIP

summary: It started at a drive-in in the 1980s. Unfortunately, this is a love story; a love story about the frontman of Quantum Queef, a punk band, and a boy who rides a red motorcycle. Also, they fight aliens. 

notes: i’m OBSESSED with this fic. i have read it many times. shiro as a punk singer of a band called Quantum Queef????????? and the fact that it’s the only fic on this account???? absolute POWER MOVE.

T H E  1 0 0

romance centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

golden gunned girls by littlearrows | Bellamy/Clarke

summary:  They’re not good girls. They have no reason to be. 

notes: i think about this fic approximately twice a week despite reading it five years ago. there’s a song called gold gun girls by metric that makes me absolutely feral and would be the dream theme song for the intro sequence of the girl gang tv show of my dreams

and then my soul saw you by synchronicities | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Lexa tells Clarke that love within the cluster is the worst kind of narcissism. Bellamy begs to differ. Sense8 AU.

givers prove unkind by emullz | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: a modern au in which bellamy is in a band, he writes an album about clarke, and she is his ophelia. also, marriage.

she sounds like sex on the radio by lecornergirl | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: “Wait, hold on,” Clarke says. “Are you suggesting I—in the booth?” But her tone is a lot sterner than she feels. Against her better judgement, she’s into it. 

notes: idk what to tell you. i have only bookmarked like three smut fics in my life. it deserves it ok.

the kids aren’t alright by opensummer | Multiple Relationships

summary: The Pacific Rim fusion seven ways. 

notes: probably???? my favourite? pacific rim au? i’ve ever read??? does so much with so little

Haven’t You Heard? The World is Coming To An End by Jenye @likcoln-blog | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: So where would you rather die? Here or in Jaeger? Pacific Rim AU. 

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

three points (where two lines meet) SERIES by PinkCanary | Bellamy/Clarke/Raven

summary: Clarke wears the two names on her skin like a badge of honour. 

Icarus Lives by karusarchive @cluelesskaru | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: No one could ever have predicted the kaiju were coming.  Clarke Griffin was in need of a new Co-Pilot. Bellamy Blake had just graduated. You can guess how that goes.

notes: if anyone knows me at all, they know i’m a MASSIVE pacific rim fan. like, own all the books and graphic novels and have multiple pacrim t-shirts kind of fan. THIS FIC was my first experience with that franchise. my first ever. i watched the movie BECAUSE of this fic.

Pony Regrets SERIES by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Octavia drags Bellamy to a My Little Pony tournament. Bellamy is deeply upset about the whole thing, but then the girl running the tournament is really cute.

The Internet Is Forever SERIES by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Apparently, the internet has been shipping Bellamy Blake (of Team Arkade) and Clarke Griffin (of Craven Cosplay). No one told Bellamy about it. 

Nothing Like Old Times by LayALioness @filmnoirsbian | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: “Clarke killed some guy and stuffed him in the trunk,” Jasper says delightedly. “Your cousin’s dark, dude.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy nods, trying to backtrack. Sometimes he wishes she was actually better at making things up. “She’s a…closeted Goth.” Terminator AU. 

the feel-good hit of the summer by disco_vendetta @errorofyourways | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake are sleeping together. (aka ROCK BAND AU) 

notes: i think about this fic an OBSCENE amount. it’s been five years since i first read it.

LONG (20K+)

Your Mess Is Mine by monroeslittle @argyledpenguin | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: modern AU, Clarke grows up with Octavia, and Octavia's brother. 

notes: the fic that got me into fan fic in the first place. top tier. 42k.

Love Will Come Through by monroeslittle @argyledpenguin | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: AU. Clarke winds up in an arranged marriage with Bellamy. 

Neeeeeeeeeerds by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke joins the Junior Classical League for two reasons: to appease her mother and to annoy Bellamy Blake.

Our Time Now SERIES by TazmainianDevil | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: The Ark may have been short on all resources vital to sustaining life but one thing they never ran out of was guns.On an Ark that has always been defined by violence, Jake Griffin manages to save his daughter's life and Clarke joins a gang to change the world.

Disney Channel You by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Bellamy only goes to the open casting for Clarke Griffin's new Disney Channel show because Octavia begs him. He never thought he'd actually get the stupid part. 

And You Understand Now Why They Lost Their Minds and Fought the Wars by marauders_groupie @marauders-groupie | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke doesn’t understand why they say that soulmates are one soul in two bodies. Her soul has five other bodies and she would give her life for any of them. Sense8 AU. 

notes: probably my favourite sense8 AU i’ve ever read?? and i have read Many

build this fire higher, higher toward the sky SERIES by adelicatepeach | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke's jaeger goes down on a Thursday. Pacific Rim AU. 

H A R R Y  P O T T E R

gen centric fic

LONG (20K+)

yer a wizard, dudley by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Dudley&A Lot of People

summary: Minerva fished in her pocket without looking, because the only things allowed in her pockets were only ever exactly what she needed. “I've come to deliver this,” she said, “because Hogwarts by-laws require a professor to hand-deliver acceptance letters to Muggleborn families for their explanation and comfort." 

notes: i have only ever cared about two harry potter fics in my life. this is one of them.

the family evans by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Petunia&A Lot of People

summary: What if, when Petunia Dursley found a little boy on her front doorstep, she took him in? Not into the cupboard under the stairs, not into a twisted childhood of tarnished worth and neglect—what if she took him in? 

notes: this is the other one

T H E  R A V E N  C Y C L E

gen centric fic

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

Helter Skelter by Anonymous | Ronan&Blue

summary: In hindsight, a road trip with your step-brother and his best friends in Gansey's dying Pig is not an ideal way to start summer break. Sargent-Lynch siblings AU.

meet hennessy by izzylizardborn @gaybluesargent | Hennessy&Jordan

summary: Hennessy had seen movies. She knew how this went. When it came to clones, there was always a good one and an evil one. She didn’t need to wonder which was which.

life is not a movie, maybe by coyotesuspect | Ronan&Blue

summary: Ronan gets kicked out of Aglionby and enrolls at Mountain View High for his senior year. The only problem is, no one remembers to tell Blue. 

Honeymoon by vexmybones | Ronan&Blue

summary: Blue and Ronan living together, no buffers, no bullshit, this is how they cope. 

the bugs and alphabet by Pi @rhea314 | Ronan&Blue

summary: In which Blue babysits Chainsaw, Ronan & Blue make angry art projects, and some conversations are almost had. 

romance centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

Pretty Good, Right? by suddensingularity | Ronan/Blue

summary: Blue wants to have sex before her true love dies. Ronan helps out. Ronan/Blue

notes: yeah ok this is one of the three smut fics i’ve bookmarked its fun ok

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

It Had To Be You by shinealightonme @toast-the-unknowing | Ronan/Adam

summary: Ronan hates basically everything about their business, or that's what he tells Blue, but the worst part is that he's constantly meeting cute guys and none of them are single. 

darling, don’t make such a drama by shinealightonme @toast-the-unknowing | Ronan/Adam, Ronan&Henry, Ronan&Declan

summary: "Straight answers are boring," Cheng says, "and yes I do mean that for all values of straight. I do not need Ronan to share his tragic backstory, I would much rather deduce it on my own."

"Who says I have a tragic backstory?"

"With your fearsome glower and troubled good looks? If you did not have a tragic backstory it would be a waste."

 C O M M U N I T Y

romance centric fic

LONG (20k+)

Playing House by itsactuallycorrine @itsactuallycorrine | Jeff&Annie

summary: Six years ago, Jeff let Annie go. She never returned to Greendale, and he moved on. Now, he's a single dad to a one-year-old and he needs her help.

A V A T A R:  T H E  L A S T  A I R B E N D E R

gen centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

call it dreaming by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Toph&Gaang

After the war, Toph has nightmares. The screeching of metal, Sokka and Suki's screams, the snap of Sokka's leg as it broke from their fall. It's usually his confession that they aren't going to make it that makes her wake up in a cold sweat. She's anxious all the time now, unable to find peaceful sleep.

The cure is apparently to try and hold all of her friends hands for all hours of the days and hope that they're cool with it. 

what’s in a name by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Toph&Sokka

summary: At her request, Sokka teaches Toph to write her name.

He learns a thing or two about the weight his own name holds in the process.

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

the beginning of a new and brighter birth by aloneintherain @captainkirkk | Zuko&Gaang

summary: “I’m so proud of you, my nephew.” Uncle cups Zuko’s face in his lined hand. The gesture is so tender, his palm so warm, that Zuko has to take a fortifying breath against the sudden swell of emotion in his chest.

“I want to be a good leader, Uncle,” Zuko says. “I want to look after my people.”

“You will,” Uncle says. “You are, nephew.”

In a new era of peace, Zuko works to be a very different Fire Lord than his forefathers.

the scope of blindness series by littlelionlady @thelittlelionlady | Toph&Gaang

summary: There are just some things that Toph's feet can't see.

Her hands can though.

Or, Toph learns what her friends look like by tracing their faces. 

notes: geniunely how goddamn beautiful is this. like. i cried. this is so soft and so cute and it made me feel SO MANY things

All The Gentle Creatures by Haircrescendo @sword-and-stars | Iroh&Zuko

It’s said that you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat animals. Zuko may be loud and stubborn and sharp but all the woodland creatures love him. 

LONG (20K+)

The Family You Choose by TunaFishChris | Zuko&Gaang

summary: Some people are born with soulmarks. Zuko has them, but his grandfather burned them off because they "make you weak."

Team Avatar has a few things to say about that. 

such selfish prayers by andromeda3116 @andromeda3116 | Katara&The Fire Nation, Katara/Zuko

Katara's ambition, so long set aside for the good of others, breaks free and sets fire to her soul. Or, Katara has a vision of her canon future, casts it aside, and becomes a world-changing politician instead. 

and love will be your teacher SERIES by Ford_Ye_Fiji @ford-ye-fiji | Iroh&Zuko

summary: "And you will know the pain of losing a firstborn son." Ozai loses Zuko. Iroh gains a son. And the future changes.

notes: excellent excellent excellent excellent makes me very happy indeed

romance centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

on commitment by jdphoenix | Zuko/Katara

summary: “Just explain it to me again.”

“There is no way you can pass as my brother and we are way too conspicuous as two unrelated people, from different nations, traveling together. So we’re pretending to be married.”

we hold our hearts in silence by psychedelic_aya | Zuko/Katara

summary: Seventy years later, Korra tries to figure out Zuko and Katara. 

oracle bones by orphaned account | Zuko/Katara

summary: The foreign, pictorial characters that bracelet Zuko's left wrist have never been covered in any of his lessons. He cannot read them. And then he turns thirteen, and his father burns his wrist along with his face.

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

late nights/early mornings SERIES by shmulia @shmuliawrites | Zuko/Katara

summary: Whoever set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning is on Katara’s shit list. Even if he is hot and shirtless. 

the thing about dancing by anodymalion | Sokka/Zuko

summary: The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

LONG (20K+)

Fate Deferred by catie_writes_things @catie-does-things | Zuko/Katara | WIP

summary: Aang remains in the iceberg ten years longer. He awakens to a very different world. 

The Sparrowkeet SERIES by audreyii_fic | Zuko/Katara

summary: Ba Sing Se has fallen and Katara has been captured by the Fire Nation; a more adult take on the potential progression of S3. AU series of interconnected one-shots. 

notes: i would die for this series, particularly the last instalment. i enjoyed every single fic and it was just such a GOOD STORY.

T H E  U M B R E L L A  A C A D E M Y 

gen centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

you from yesterday by questors (sieges) @softpunks | Five&Siblings

summary:  The difference between who his siblings once were versus who they are now. 

Ghost Math by pinstripedJackalope | Five&Klaus

summary: Number Five needs a new hobby now that the apocalypse is off. He decides to help Klaus--and in turn maybe he'll help himself. 

Then There Was Two by AnneKatherine | Five&Vanya

summary: Reginald Hargeeves finally decides to allow Grace to name the Academy. Unfortunately, he's only willing to let her name the Academy, which Seven is unfortunately not a part of.

[or how Five gave away his name]

(he definitely didn't want one anyway) 

i tiresias (have foresuffered all) by ThatWeirdGuyInTheBushes | Five&Siblings, Five/Delores

summary: Five misses sharing his birthday, but Five has missed a lot of things.alternatively; number five, coffee, and the art of taking back. 

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

The Five Vetting Process by jaz_hop | Five&Siblings

summary: In which Five is incredibly invested in the love lives of his siblings, because they're obviously too stupid to choose anyone worthy enough to be their partner. Otherwise known as Five being stupidly over-protective, and incredibly invasive in the hopes of keeping his siblings safe and happy... even if he is being a stalker and a dick about it. 

LONG (20K+)

You and I Together Forever SERIES by Ace_of_Spades_400 @ace-of-spades-400 | Vanya&Siblings

summary: What if it hadn't only been Five, what if it hadn't been Five at all?

A series of stories about what would have happened if Vanya had chosen a different sibling.

Sometimes the choice isn't hers.

Timeliness 1-2.1 SERIES by dgalerab | Hargreeves Siblings

summary: As the world ends, Five takes his siblings back into their child bodies on the day he originally left. With the knowledge of how the world ends fresh in their minds, the Hargreeves siblings do what they can to leave clues for their past selves on how to grow up a little less fucked up before returning to the present.

A present where they all have different lives they can't remember, there's a fun new apocalypse on the way, and Reginald Hargreeves remembers the day where all his children suddenly and inexplicably lost their minds and all respect for him at once a little too well.

Rare Birds SERIES by Cryptix23 | Hargreeves Siblings

summary: An alternate 2019 brings with it new problems and new dangers.

The two sets of Hargreeves children mix like water on a greasefire. It's hard to tell which group is unhappier about the situation -- the Sparrows, trying to navigate the minefield of their new siblings' many traumas, or the Umbrellas, trying to carve their place back into a world that forgot them.

Plus the whole saving-the-world thing hanging over them all.

Whether they like it or not, they're going to have to learn to work together. 

Partners, Parents, or None of the Above by DarkFairytale | Diego&Klaus

summary:  Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number Five’s parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening. 

[lire-casander]

solo soy sentido si te vuelvo a ver

[1,869 words] [general audiences] [beta’ed by @meloingly. any remaining mistakes are my own] [title from nunca estarás sola by maldita nerea. the title roughly translates into i only have meaning if i see you again]  [carlos reyes, owen strand, michelle blake, tk strand] [mentions of a robbery, mentions of injuries, drunkenness]  [written for @carlosreyesweek 2021, day #2: “i’ll always be there for you” + romance + michelle and carlos friendship]  [inspired by @ana122892, who said she enjoyed the hilariousness of best-friend friends dating father and son, and venting about what it’s like to date the strands]

[when carlos enters the fire station to take owen's statement, he doesn’t know they're all in for a surprise]

solo soy sentido si te vuelvo a ver

It still feels weird to enter the firehouse knowing he wonʼt see Michelleʼs smile greeting him from behind the glass railing of the office upstairs. Carlos doesn’t think heʼll ever get used to her absence, and not even TKʼs wide grin and the teasing of the rest of the team can lift his spirits upon setting foot inside of the 126 station all for professional reasons.

“Captain Strand,” he says when Owen Strand steps up before him, his left arm in a blue cast. “Iʼve come to collect your testimony as a witness from the assault from this morning.”

There had been a call to the emergency services earlier in the morning from a bank in downtown Austin — the caller had identified himself as a first responder and heʼd explained that there was an ongoing rob attempt before pocketing his phone for fear he might be discovered. Austin Police Department had sent several units and, when Carlos had arrived along with his partner, heʼd found out that the first responder calling the police had been Owen Strand.

Carlos still needs to shake the horrible feeling filling his senses when heʼd realized that his boyfriendʼs father — and his best friendʼs boyfriend — was trapped in an active robbery scene. But he's now at the firehouse, ready to take Owenʼs statement, and be done with it. Although heʼs not so sure Owen Strand should be anywhere that's not a hospital or his house, given his injuries.

Upon close inspection — and Carlos can take a good look as he follows Captain Strand into his office, definitely not looking across the hall to what used to be Michelleʼs office — it looks like the arm isn’t the only body wound Owen Strand has sustained. Carlos can pinpoint several cuts on Captain Strandʼs cheeks, and there’s a limp in his step. Carlos also notices a slight wince when Owen sits down on his chair.

“Are you sure you shouldn’t be at the hospital?” he blurts out, unable to stop himself. “It’s evident you're injured.”

“Itʼs just a dislocated shoulder,” Owen tells him. “I was discharged as soon as the cast was placed.”

Carlos sighs. It isn’t his place to say anything else — heʼs just the sonʼs boyfriend, the girlfriendʼs best friend — so he goes over the questions he must ask, writing down everything in his most professional stance, until a loud noise downstairs steals their attention.

“Michelle Blake!” Carlos hears Captain Torres calling out, and his heart skips a beat. “Such a surprise! Are you back to take your job back?”

“So good to see you too!” says the voice that Carlos has been listening to on the other side of the phone for the past three months and a half. “Good surprise, huh?”

Carlos sneaks a glance toward Captain Strand, who's already approached the windows in his office to look down. He can see Owen tensing up, and he feels sorry — once Michelle knows about Owenʼs stunt this morning, she's going to eat him alive. “Shouldn’t we go downstairs?” he asks. “Although I understand if you don't want to, sir. Michelleʼs a force to be reckoned with when she’s angry.”

“Why would she be angry?” Owen tries for nonchalance. “It’s better than it looks like.”

“Is that what you're giving her, really?” Carlos chuckles. “I have all I needed, so I should head back to the precinct. We will contact you if needed, Captain Strand.” He moves toward the glass door and begins climbing down the stairs before Owen reacts.

“Are you seriously leaving me alone here, Reyes?”

Carlos walks up to Michelle, who's greeting everyone and receiving hugs and kisses from her old team, and surprises her from behind. “Chica!” he laughs. “Good to see you. Didn’t tell me you were visiting!”

She turns around and hugs him. “What’s the point of a surprise then?” She kisses his cheek before stag-whispering, “What are you doing here, officer? Couldn’t get a shift without seeing your guy?”

Carlos says nothing; behind Michelle, he can see TK blushing and biting down on his lip. He doesn’t think anyone has told Michelle that her boyfriend has faced a bank robbery just a few hours ago, but Carlos has the inkling that she won’t be ignoring it much longer. “I have to go,” he settles for saying. “But how about we go grab a drink later? Or have you forgotten already about your old stomping ground?”

“Never,” Michelle vows. “Now go. I have yet someone else I need to see,” she goes on with a sly smile.

Carlos leaves the firehouse when she’s walking upstairs, right after she first sees Owen. Her scolding of Owen Strand in loud screeches follows him all the way to the cruiser.

The honky-tonk is busting with life and noises when Carlos pushes the door open. His shift has been over for at least an hour and a half, but heʼs needed to fill some paperwork. He’s clocked out late, earning himself a good chunk of time enduring the worst of Austin traffic. But he's here now, standing in the doorway with his nicest black shirt and fitted jeans, searching the place for his best friend.

He spots Michelle sitting at a table, downing tequila shots and laughing with Nancy and Tim. He saunters over there and flops down on a stool next to them. “Hi, guys,” he greets.

“Oh, Mr. Hotshot Officer,” Michelle snickers. He can tell she’s had more shots than she should have, but he doesn’t say anything. He shrugs.

“I’ll order a beer,” he tells her, but Tim cuts him.

“Iʼll bring it to you. Nancy, come with me?” And before Carlos can say another word, they're gone.

“Guess it's just you and me,” Michelle slurs, nudging him.

“Where's the rest of the 126?” he asks. “Iʼdʼve thought theyʼd wanted to celebrate you coming down to visit from Indiana.”

“I sent Owen home,” she confesses. She’s swaying a bit on her stool. “Did you know he was in that bank when it got robbed? He fought the thieves!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“They had guns!” she throws her hands in the air. “They could have killed him. And then, who would I have surprised today? I almost lost him today, and I wouldn’t have known. What am I doing, Carlos?”

He sighs again. He knows Michelle left Austin to find some peace with Iris; Indiana offered them anonymity and a treatment program at a hospital that isn’t as invasive as the one offered by Austin General. He knows how hard it was for her, and for the people she left behind, because he's been there. He’s been left standing on that curb along with Owen and TK and Theresa, but he's also been on the other side of a phone call when Michelle could hardly hide her tears.

“You’re doing what's best for Iris,” he reassures her.

“But I miss everyone. Owen almost died today! I should have been here.”

“And do what? Do you think he wouldn’t have stayed in that bank?” He reaches out and takes her shot glass away from her grasp. Michelle grunts, but Carlos doesn’t relent. “Thatʼs enough alcohol for now, chica.”

“I’ve missed you,” she mutters, slurring as she leans into him. “I don’t know what Iʼd do if I lost you too.”

“You’re not losing any of us,” Carlos says. “Owen is reckless, you know he is. And I know that first hand, TK is his father's son. But you're not losing anyone.”

“I miss you,” she repeats. Carlos maneuvers her until she’s slid off the stool and she’s propped against his body.

“And I miss you too,” he whispers. “But don’t worry, chica, you're not getting rid of me so easily. I'll always be there for you.”

He starts pulling her toward the door, his eyes catching Timʼs as he moves forward in a silent plea. Tim understands him, and he comes to Carlosʼ help along with Nancy. Together, they get Michelle outside. Carlos knows he canʼt take her to her motherʼs in such a state, and he knows she gave up her lease when she moved to Indiana with her sister. So his options are either waiting for her to sober up a bit or bring her to his place — where he knows TK will be going later, after he's had dinner with his father.

It dawns on him suddenly.

“Where are you staying, Michelle?” he asks as delicately as he can.

“Iʼm supposed to be at Owenʼs,” she mumbles. “But he hates me. I yelled at him while he was on shift and he hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you. He loves you,” he tries to reason. Tim and Nancy shake their heads. “Why don’t we take you to Owenʼs? I bet heʼd love to see you.”

“You’re all going to be so fine without me,” she laments, her head buried in Carlosʼ neck. “You don't need me anymore.”

Carlos knows that if he doesn’t stop her now, she will be embarrassed in the morning — that's if she remembers any of this. But, on the other hand, he has only seen his best friend down like this once before — when she blamed herself for Irisʼ disappearance. He’s not sure whether or not it's advisable to move her, but he knows Owen will take good care of her.

“You know that's not true, Michelle,” he says softly. He props her against his chest with some help from Tim. “We will always need you. I will always need my best friend. Now, here, let's get you home.”

He manages to get her into his Camaro; he waves Tim and Nancy goodbye after reassuring them that he will find out how long Michelle will be staying so they all can enjoy a night out without a breakdown. He drives away, fitting the car into the calm traffic at this hour, and they're pulling up in front of the Strand household in no time.

Owen is out the front door a second before Carlos kills the engine, maneuvering with his good hand so he can help Michelle out. Carlos thinks he hears Owen muttering I love you even when you run out on me and go get drunk, but he canʼt be sure. Owen nods at him when they lock eyes over the roof of the car, and then he slowly drags Michelle inside as TK rushes out.

“Rough night, huh?”

“They’ll be fine,” TK tells him. “They always make up. If they didn’t break up after she ran to Indiana, they're definitely not going to when she’s right. Dad shouldn’t have faced those thieves.”

“You would have done the same,” Carlos says with a frown.

“Yeah, I would have. But you know us Strand boys, weʼre hard.”

Carlos chuckles and drives away once again, this time cruising for his home, as he muses about how much he understands Michelleʼs worries. Only the few selected that date a Strand know about the perils of being part of their family.

But he's proud to be part of their lives — that's not something that will change. He guesses he's suffering from exactly the same as Michelle — a severe case of falling in love with a Strand.

[toosicktoocare]

prompt:  Ok what if TK is injured on a call (somehow idk) and then his dad and carlos are really worried? 😘😘😘

prompt:  How bout a TK whump fic where he gets injured on the job and the team and Carlos are super worried?

Did either of you ask for Carlos to stupidly go and save TK? No. Did I write that anyway? Yes.

Carlos will never understand how Owen can keep a calm composure when he sends TK running headfirst into danger day in and day out. He knows the 126 is working under cautious orders to ensure everyone’s safety, but he can never shake the pit of anxiety that builds in his stomach each time he watches TK’s back as the latter rushes into his job. 

Today’s no different, a one-story house fire that he and the 126 have been called to. The house is practically engulfed in flames by the time every one arrives, bright reds and oranges dancing around smoke that’s pouring from shattered windows. Owen barks orders the second the truck comes to a stop, and Carlos is able to steal a quick kiss to TK’s lips, a small peck that TK smiles against, before TK pulls away and shoves his helmet over his head. 

“How do you do it?” Carlos asks Owen when TK and Paul start into the house, with Marjan and Probie ready at the hose. 

“Do what?” 

“Send him,” Carlos mutters, nodding to TK right before he disappears against the smoke. 

“TK’s good at his job.” Owen’s answer comes with practiced ease, and Carlos wants to cling to that confidence. He knows TK’s a good firefighter, but they’ve been growing closer, spending five out of seven nights a week together, and though neither’s said it out loud, they are toeing the line to boyfriend territory. He’s not pushing it, choosing instead to move with TK’s movements, play his game, ride his ride until he’s ready to take the next step. 

“We’ve got the girl, Cap.” 

He perks up when he hears Paul’s voice over the comms, and just moments later, Paul’s stepping out of the house with a young girl clinging tightly to him. He expects to see TK right behind him, but he doesn’t, and he leans forward, arms crossed, fingers digging into his arms, and then he hears a loud crash over the comms. 

“TK?” Owen’s got his comm to his mouth, and he’s tense beside Carlos, and Carlos spares a single moment to see Marjan, Judd, Probie, and Paul all sharing glances from Owen to the house, struggling to wait for their next orders. 

“TK, do you copy?” 

Carlos can’t breathe, his lungs unwilling to take in air, and then he hears harsh coughing and groaning over the comms, and his muscles tighten, going almost rigid, as he puffs out a small breath of air. 

“Yeah, floor collapsed. Think I’m in the basement.”

Owen’s face is unreadable as he processes each work punctuated by a cough. “Are you hurt?” There’s rustling on the comms, a few more groans, and then a low sigh. 

“Yeah, my foot.” There’s a pause, another, longer sigh. “And my head. I’m a little dizzy.”

“Concussion,” Michelle says, and Carlos jumps, not having heard her come up to them. “You need to get him out of there now.” 

“Already on it,” Owen says, and Carlos’ ears fade to a low ringing that mixes with a rapid heartbeat, and then his feet are moving toward the house, toward the narrow opening of the front door that’s not completely engulfed in flames. 

“Carlos, what are you doing?”

“Carlos, stop!” 

The continuous shouts fade against the roar of the fire, and he holds one arm up above his eyes and tries to only suck in small, short breaths that aren’t too deep. “TK!” Smoke begins to pour down his throat, and he coughs lightly as he approaches a hole in the floor. He looks down to see TK lying on his back. 

“TK!”

“Carlos? What the hell are you doing? Get out of here!” Carlos is the last person TK expects to see above him, back lit by dangerous orange flames, and he makes to sit up, pain grinding in his head, black dots dancing across his vision. He grits his teeth, swallows back nausea, and starts to slowly get to his feet. 

“No, TK, don’t! I’ll come to you!”

“Like hell you will,” TK grumbles under his breath, angry, worried, confused, and he tests the pressure on his feet. His right foot is fine, but his left foot twisted when he fell, and it stings the second he leans on it. He looks up to yell at Carlos again, to order him to leave, to let his team handle this, but there’s a loud explosion above them, and Carlos has to dart to the side when more of the floor caves in, burning, charred pieces of wood just narrowly missing TK. 

“Shit,” TK mutters. They’re running out of time. He can hear orders being made over the comms, but until his dad is properly geared up to come in... It could still be at least a minute, and he’s not sure they have that time. There’s an old table to the right of him, and he drags it over, stumbling, blinking past the grayness creeping at the edge of his vision, and he climbs atop it, coughing until he’s gagging. “Can you pull me up?” 

Nodding, Carlos drops to the floor. His eyes are burning just as bad as his lungs from the smoke, but TK’s so clear in his vision, so clear and alive, and he reaches down, both arms outstretched, and TK’s fingers curl around them, and he pulls, muscles trembling, fueled solely on adrenaline, and he manages to get TK up enough to where TK can grab onto the ledge, and between the two, TK’s back on the first story only seconds later, curled to his side, panting, coughing, and Carlos is urging him up to his feet. 

“Let’s go.”

TK crumples as soon as he’s upright, and Carlos catches him. “Woah, TK!” He scoops him up into his arms, turning to cough away from TK as he starts back out of the house. TK’s barely lucid in his arms as soon as he moves out of the front door to meet the 126 and the EMTs, and Michelle and Owen break past first, with Michelle gesturing for the gurney as Carlos carries him safely away from the fire. 

“Start hosing!” Owen shouts, and Paul, Judd, Marjan, and Probie hesitate, all eyes glued to TK’s almost whimpering form in Carlos’ arms, but they finally oblige, working together to tackle the fire as Carlos carefully sets TK on the gurney. 

“Are you riding with us, Captain?” 

Owen’s eyes are glued to TK, his hand gripping TK’s like a lifeline, but he shakes his head, shoulders sagging. “I can’t leave my team.” He’s reluctant to drag his gaze away, but he does, moving to Carlos’ eyes. “Go with them. I’ll meet you there.” 

Carlos fades in and out of focus, moving with Michelle when she wheels TK to the back of the ambulance, only catching snippets of med talk, about TK’s foot, his head, smoke inhalation concerns, and then he’s seated on the bench in the back of the ambulance, and another paramedic is slipping a breathing mask over his mouth and working through a small examination. 

*****

It’s hours until TK’s released on crutches and with strict instructions to not sleep for more than three hours at a time, and Carlos volunteers to drive him home after Marjan, Paul, and Probie head home for the night. Owen only agrees so he can pick up his prescription at a twenty-four hour pharmacy and get TK’s room settled for him. Carlos is a little unnerved at TK’s silence as he helps the latter into the passenger seat of his police SUV, but he doesn’t push, too unsure on how to approach TK in such a passive state.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” TK mutters, breaking the silence after endless minutes of quiet that’s sharp enough to break skin. His head is dropped against the window, too tired to hold it up, and he closes his eyes, the trees whipping by making him nauseous. 

Carlos knows what, but he feigns ignorance anyway. “Done what?” 

“Go in after me. That’s not your job.” TK coughs lightly, lungs still a little strained from smoke inhalation, and he groans when the coughing brings pain to his head. “You’re a cop, Carlos.” 

Carlos grips his steering wheel until his knuckles go white, and he pulls off onto the side of the road, flipping his hazards on and leaning his head back with a sigh. “I know I’m a cop, but you can’t tell me that wasn’t my job.” 

TK opens his eyes at this, a frown pulling at his lips, and he turns to Carlos, brows furrowed. “What the hell does that mean?” 

“It means that protecting you is my job, Tyler.” Carlos finally pulls a sharp gaze to meet TK’s tired eyes, and TK’s mouth opens and closes, stunned surprise pulling at his face, widening his eyes and catching his words in his throat. 

“That’s not... You could have died, Carlos!” The cogs in TK’s head begin turning, and once they start, they don’t slow despite the pain it brings. “You didn’t have any gear! My team would have--”

“--I know your team would have saved you, TK,” Carlos sighs, eyes moving from TK to the dark road ahead of them. “I don’t know what happened. As soon as I heard you were hurt, I just moved.” 

TK’s hand finds his thigh, and though Carlos doesn’t pull his eyes from the windshield, he moves his hand to cup TK’s, thumb ghosting over TK’s smooth skin. “I know what I did was stupid, but I’m not sorry I did it. I’d risk my life a thousand times over if it means saving someone I love.” 

TK’s mind short-circuits, a wire snapping out of place, a cog jerking to a stop, leading toward a possible explosion that he’s forced to breathe sharply through because they haven’t said this. They haven’t talked about this, only just barely treading into this type of territory, yet it doesn’t feel wrong, the opposite actually. 

“You love me.” It’s not a question, but Carlos nods anyway, and TK wants to chase this, but his head is beginning to throb enough to have his stomach churn, and his phone’s vibrating in his other hand, multiple messages from his father, from his team, and he leans back to face the front, head tipping against the headrest behind him. 

“We should go. My dad’s worried.” 

Carlos’ face falls, his shoulders sink, but he nods anyway and carefully maneuvers the car back onto the road, and the rest of the drive is silent, with only small coughs occasionally filling the quiet between the two. In a moment, Carlos wishes he could know what TK’s thinking, just for a second, just a glimpse behind his wall, but then he’s pulling into TK’s driveway, and Owen’s already standing in the open doorway waiting. 

“Thanks,” TK mutters, massaging his temples, yet he doesn’t reach for the door handle right away, instead twisting in his seat to lean toward Carlos, lips brushing against Carlos’ cheek. “Oh, and I think I love you, too.” 

The smile’s devilish yet shy, and Carlos’ cheeks flare hot in a blush as TK opens the door, offering a wave before he closes it and starts toward his father. Carlos watches, more-so because he can’t move, but then Owen’s waving at him before guiding TK into the house with an arm around his shoulders, and he waits a few moments, eyes glued to the closed door, TK’s words playing a beautiful melody in his head, before he finally puts his car in reverse and starts back to his apartment.

[chicgeekgirl89]

The Way Our Horizons Meet: Chapter 1

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, T.K. Strand

Rating: T

Summary: Carlos' perspective through the aftermath of T.K.'s shooting. Follows the events of episodes 1x08-1x10

AO3/ff.net

Carlos helped Mr. Ackerman into the back of the squad car, relief deep in his bones. Tonight the man would go home to his family and no one had gotten hurt. A good night all around.

“It’s so sad,” his partner Sarah said quietly. “I can’t even imagine, not knowing where your home is.”

“I’m just glad it all worked out,” Carlos said. “Coffee after we drop them off?” They still had six hours left on their shift and he was going to need caffeine to make it through. 

Sarah nodded. “For sure.”

Carlos was getting into the passenger seat when a loud crack split the night air. His eyes met Sarah’s, her confusion mirroring his own. “Was that a gunshot?” Sarah asked.

“Stay with them,” Carlos said, reaching for his weapon as he slid back out of the car and ran toward the house.

There was chaos in the hallway and at first Carlos couldn’t see what was going on because most of the 126 crew was standing in his way, everyone yelling in horror. Carlos pushed his way through them and froze, unable to comprehend the sight before him. He felt like he had stepped off into the deep end of the pool and sunk straight to the bottom.

T.K. on the floor unmoving, eyes wide and unseeing, blood everywhere. Michelle hunched over him, hands working furiously to cut away his uniform, baring his wounded chest to the world. “I need help here!” Michelle shouted. “Mateo get Nancy and Tim in here now! Judd check on that victim!”

“I’m working on it!” Judd hollered. His back was to Carlos, hands outstretched toward a boy, no more than ten years old, who had a gun clutched in his trembling hands. “C’mon now kid. It’s all right. Just put that down so we can help you out all right?”

Seeing the weapon in the child’s hands brought Carlos back to himself. He keyed his radio, “Shots fired at 1940 Birchwood Avenue. We have a firefighter down, repeat a firefighter is down. Request additional medical units and immediate backup.”

“Kid, you need to give me that gun right now,” Judd said, more forcefully this time.

The boy nodded, eyes wide with shock and Judd slowly pulled it from his hands. “I got it,” Carlos said, taking it from him so Judd could drop to the floor and begin CPR on the elderly man. 

Carlos checked the chamber and removed the additional bullets. With the threat out of the way the firehouse team kicked into full gear. Tim and Nancy arrived, one of them moving to help Judd the other stopping to help Michelle.

It took everything in him to usher the woman and her grandson from the room, away from the chaos, away from where his heart lay bleeding out onto the hardwood. There was procedure to be followed, especially in a situation like this with a child and a weapon involved.

He passed them off to a newly arrived paramedic team then walked back to the squad car to bag and tag the gun. Sarah was waiting for him, the Ackerman’s still sitting anxiously in the back seat. “Carlos what the hell is going on in there?” she asked.

Carlos barely managed to get the words out. “T.K.’s been shot.”

Michelle burst out the front doors, T.K. strapped onto a gurney, oxygen mask obscuring his face, blood seeping through bandages on his chest. She caught Carlos’ eye as Nancy and Tim got inside the ambulance, Owen climbing in behind them. “How bad is it?” Carlos asked, voice cracking.

Her face was pale, tense. “Bad. I’ll call you okay?”

She grasped his arm, squeezing tightly, and then she was climbing aboard, the ambulance screaming away.

The next few hours were a blur. They brought the Ackermans back to the station, took tearful statements from them, the grandmother and her grandson. The grandfather was transported to the hospital and another officer was dispatched to be with him and take his statement if and when he woke up. Carlos turned the gun over to evidence and had to write up his own report of the incident. Then his captain wanted to speak to him and rehash the whole thing yet again. It was all Carlos could do to keep it together as he recounted entering the home, finding T.K. on the floor, and everything that had happened after.

By the time he had even one second to breathe he’d missed Michelle’s call. He locked himself in a bathroom stall to listen to the voicemail she’d left, breath catching in his throat as she told him that T.K. had gone into hypovolemic shock and been taken immediately into surgery. 

His whole body trembled as he played the message again and again, as if somehow it might change. As if somehow this was all just some sort of horrible dream that he would wake up from at any moment.

The rest of his shift was an exhausting blur and by the time he got to the hospital the rest of T.K.’s team had arrived and were sitting in the waiting area near to his room. Carlos could see Owen sitting by T.K.’s bedside and T.K. himself, pale as death, eyes closed, body listless in the hospital bed.

“Hey Carlos.” Judd spotted him first.

Carlos swallowed hard, the tears he’d been holding at bay finally pricking at his eyes. “How uh,” his voice broke and he tried again, “how is he?”

“Lung collapsed on the way to the hospital. Surgery went okay,” Paul said. “But he lost a lot of blood. And he was…down for a while.”

Carlos took a shaky breath. “They’re worried about brain damage.”

Marjan nodded. “He hasn’t woken up yet. Cap hasn’t left his side.”

That didn’t surprise Carlos in the least. The way T.K. talked about his dad it was clear they were close; Carlos envied it. 

He shouldn’t intrude, he knew that, but he couldn’t stand being so far away. He just needed to…honestly he wasn’t sure what he needed. Wasn’t sure what was allowed or appropriate. Their relationship was new, they hadn’t put any kind of label on it. He’d been waiting, trying not to push after T.K. had admitted how badly things had ended for him in New York. 

Maybe he shouldn’t even have come to the hospital at all. Maybe T.K. wouldn’t want him here. But Carlos couldn’t make himself leave. He chose to be selfish and step a few paces closer to the room until the captain spotted him.

He would be forever grateful to the captain for giving him time with T.K. He barely knew the man, they hadn’t exchanged much more than a few pleasantries in their time working together, but somehow, somehow he knew that Carlos needed some privacy.

Carlos sank into the chair by T.K.’s bed, reaching tentatively for his hand. For a while he just sat in silence, replaying the events of the last few hours over and over again in his exhausted brain.

Without warning tears began to fall and he didn’t have the strength left to stop them. “Hey,” he managed to get out. “It’s um, it’s me.”

If he’d been hoping for some sort of romantic, wake up moment he was sorely disappointed. T.K. remained as still as ever, the steady beeping of his heart monitor the only indication of life inside.

“I’m sorry if this feels…dramatic or something,” Carlos said. “I don’t…I don’t know what the right thing to do is here. I don’t know…exactly what we are yet but, I really, really would like you to wake up so we can find out. Because I like you T.K. I like you a lot.”

He reached up and stroked T.K.’s hair. “Please,” he whispered. “Please.”

The captain returned too soon and Carlos felt he had no choice but to leave. He wasn’t family. He was less family than even the rest of T.K.’s crew. It wasn’t his place to sit vigil. 

Michelle found him in the cafeteria, hands gripped tightly around a cup of coffee that had gone cold. He’d never even taken a sip. “Hey,” she said softly, sitting down across from him. “How are you holding up?”

He shook his head. Everything felt so brittle, like if he moved even a little bit he would shatter into a thousand pieces. “I don’t know what to do. How to feel. Where to…be.”

She reached across the table, hands enveloping his wrist in a comforting gesture. “It’s okay,” she said.

“We just started getting to know each other you know?” Carlos said. “It’s not even official we were just…dating.”

“But you like him,” Michelle said knowingly.

Carlos finally looked up, eyes stinging, throat tight. “I really like him. And I really, really don’t want to lose him.”

[marjansmarwani]

Because this is going to be a long haul (and because I actually remembered it was Wednesday before the fact) here is a bit from my Dr. Reyes/Paramedic Strand Enemies to Lovers AU (that really needs a shorter way to refer to it, suggestions welcome). I forgot to mention it in the ask I answered yesterday from @sunshinestrand​ but this idea is actually the product of @trkstrnd​ who gave me permission to write it which I am grateful for because it has been pretty fun so far and I’m excited to see where it goes!

Here’s a part from one of the first scenes or the “enemies” portion of the story which has been too much fun to write:​

“Strand!” 

Carlos could see the other man’s posture stiffen as he heard his name called and when he turned to face Carlos his jaw was set. 

“Can I help you, Doctor?” His words were perfectly professional but he somehow managed to make Carlos’s title sound mocking. 

Carlos could feel his own jaw tighten as he stepped closer. “What the hell were you thinking?” he demanded, “That woman could have died!” 

“But she didn’t,” TK reminded him evenly. “She didn’t because of what I did.”  

“That’s only because you got lucky,” Carlos hissed. “You can’t use blind luck to justify taking such a risk…” 

“Luck?” TK demanded, dropping all pretense of professionalism as he took a step closer. “It’s not luck, doctor, it’s skill.” 

“I don’t know how things were in New York,” Carlos fired back, “but here in the real world, a paramedic doesn’t make those calls; a doctor does. If you had concerns you should have radioed the hospital. I can’t believe Captain Vega…” 

“Captain Vega trusts her team,” TK spat, “ she knows what we are capable of and she lets us do what we need to do to help the patient. And really? ‘Radio the hospital?’ So we could watch her die while we waited for someone to get around to answering? Not likely.” 

Carlos took a step closer too, closing the distance before them even more. They were barely 6 inches apart now, he could see every fleck of color in the paramedic’s eyes. Green some part of his mind provided but Carlos pushed that thought aside. “What you are doing is justifying one success and calling it skill,” he said, voice harsh but quiet enough that only the paramedic before him could hear. “One day you are going to take it too far and bite off something you can’t chew. One day you are going to take a risk that is not going to pay off and it’s going to be a person that pays the price. You’re playing with lives here, Strand, and sometimes I think you forget that.” 

The Paramedic’s expression was murderous but before he could open his mouth, Becky - the head nurse - stepped in.

“Need I remind you both that you are in a very public hallway of a very public hospital? Pull yourselves together; you’re acting like bitchy teens instead of medical professionals.” When she didn’t get a response from either of them she sighed wearily and rolled her eyes, “TK, you should find your crew. I have a feeling today is going to be a busy one.” 

There were another few moments of tense silence before TK nodded stiffly and turned away, striding back towards the ambulance bay. Carlos watched him go, choosing to ignore the feeling of Becky’s gaze focused on him. TK’s back had disappeared through a doorway when she finally spoke: “Hi, Carlos, what the fuck was that?”

“He’s a reckless showoff who is going to get someone hurt!” Carlos exclaimed but Becky only raised an eyebrow. 

“And you think yelling at him about it in the middle of the ER is the best way to address it?” she deadpanned

“Yes? No?” he broke off with a groan, running a hand down his face, “I don’t know.” 

“That much is obvious,” she agreed and he lowered his hand to glare at her. She raised up her hands in self-defense, “Far be it from me to tell you what to do--” 

“Very far be it,” he agreed, only succeeding in bringing her glare back. 

“You know what, if you’re going to be a dick about it then yeah, as head nurse I am going to kindly request that you not start altercations with the paramedics in the middle of my ER, Doctor.” 

He winced at her tone, deflating and offering her an apologetic smile.

She rolled her eyes at him again, but her tone softened, “But as your friend, I think you’re lying to yourself.” 

Carlos’s eyebrows shot up his forehead, “Lying to myself? About what?” 

“About why that handsome paramedic makes you so hot and bothered.”

Carlos could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. “I don’t have a crush on him, if that’s what you think.” 

Becky studied him for a few moments before shrugging, “That’s fine, keep lying to yourself if it helps I guess.” 

Before Carlos could retort another voice joined their conversation, “What is he lying to himself about this time?” 

Carlos couldn’t quite manage to suppress the groan that came out of his mouth as Dr. Michelle Blake came up on his other side, joining them at the front desk and looking between her two friends.

“His feelings for a certain Paramedic,” Becky informed her and Michelle nodded sagely. 

“That’s been going on for a while.” 

Carlos looked between his two friends before shaking his head and pulling himself back up to his full height, “You’re both terrible friends, but you’re also wrong. I don’t like Paramedic Strand. I can’t stand him.” 

“That’ll be the sexual tension,” Michelle noted casually and Carlos didn’t even dignify her with a response. 

“I’m going to do my rounds now,” he announced instead, turning away from the two women, “but you’re both still the worst.” 

I'm hoping to have this finished by the end of the month but that’s really just a hope, I have no idea when it’ll actually be done realistically but I’m excited to share it all with you whenever that may be!