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pizzaboat · 17 days

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Eda Clawthorne and BPD

Eda is a character I never really associated with something like BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder) until I’d done more research on the disorder myself. Initially, I’d had a one size fits all idea in my mind for what a manifestation of BPD could look like.

But after finishing the Owl House in its entirety, and dispelling some of my ignorance around the topic I’ve come to the headcanon that Eda has BPD.

So to start, what I understand about BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder) is that it’s a personality disorder belonging to the cluster B section in the DSM-5.

It’s generally described that people living with it, might engage in risky/self harming behaviour, have an intense fear of abandonment, struggle with addiction, and have unstable/turbulent relationships with others. People with BPD also struggle with an intense feeling of internalised shame and numbness.

BPD usually manifests after some sort of prolonged mental abuse/physical abuse/sexual abuse/ psychological abuse or trauma, and that usually happens in childhood.

Well, what does any of that have to do with Eda? How does her character link in any way to what I've described? Let’s go through it;

(I’m not an expert, this is just a headcanon that I use to look at Eda)

Addiction/Substance Abuse

Eda is implied to be an alcoholic in the show. Apple blood, her infamous favourite drink, is often used as a stand-in or a direct reference to the topic of intoxication or turning to the bottle to cope with big feelings.

Proof of apple blood being an alcohol signal can be when Luz mentions in early S2, that Eda was hard to get off the roof after she drank too much apple blood, implying she became irrational and unreasonable after drinking too much.

Another example is when Eda was seen in a tavern in Eda’s Requiem, she canonically has a large and unpaid tab in that tavern, and was drinking apple blood (from a juice box) while lamenting about the current events of her life.

A scene like that is a heavy reference to the trope of getting drunk and venting to your local bartender that can be seen in a lot of movies and tv-shows.

Eda is also potentially implied to have Depression during the show and is typically grumpy/unapproachable before her first drink, early in the morning.

I’ve headcanons before that Eda uses Apple Blood to self medicate her mood after the implications in season 2 that she is drinking more heavily (the joke about the roof, her chasing free appleblood, drinking in the tavern when she’s sad), and after season1, and during all of season 2 her mental health had taken a clear nose dive after traumatic events and perceived abandonments.

I also mentioned that people with BPD struggle with a feeling of emptiness and numbness, and Eda’s low and irritable mood could be interpreted as coming from a place of feeling hollow. (That’s my headcanon).

Addiction is also considered a risky/self harming behaviour, which leads me to my next point.

Risky/Self Harming behaviours

Eda is an impulsive and risk taking person, that usually contributes to a pretty popular ADHD headcanon for her character, but I’d also like to argue that her risk taking behaviour could also be a sign of BPD, as it typically leads her to dangerous or life threatening situations, often on purpose.

A small example of this is when searching for titan blood, she pushes herself in front of a laser beam and urges King to shoot her with it to trigger her harpy powers. In that episode she was struggling to go harpy mode;

And the episode before that, Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door, she was shown depriving herself of sleep and worrying about not being ready for the day of unity. Eda had proved she was anxious to be ready and willing to hurt herself to be so, stemming from an internal feeling of frustration and worthlessness because she didn’t have what she needed to be ready.

In the cave, I think her action to jump in front of the laser, disguising her actions as a childish and silly request of bone-headedness was her hiding her self-destructive instincts and inner frustration in plain sight.

Her risky behaviours are driven by a deep self hatred and that leads me to her most risky action of all…

Fear of Abandonment

When Eda overhears the kids talking about telling her something, she spirals and assumes the worst. She spends that episode devaluing herself, trying to self-soothe with apple blood, and distancing herself from the kids in response to her assumption that they only have the worst news for her.

Luz is leaving and King wants to live with his dad.

She spends the day living out what appears to be a fantasy with Raine, where she is ‘Mama Eda’ to the younger BATTs members and she and Raine are playfully dancing around each other with some not so subtle flirting. It resembles a family life, where her and Raine are married, or atleast happily together, and the BATTs are like her very own kids that need her.

(it’s key to point out that Raine did most of the heavy flirting and was active, while Eda just bathed herself in the situation. Likely because while it was what she wanted, she’d also expressed earlier in the episode that she felt everyone left her in the end and all good things ended).

When this fanasy/substition falls through and the rebellion is busted, her and Raine play a murder-suicide duet attempt together, where Raine then learns that there’s more to the story than Eda is letting on, and that she isn’t just being motivated to do the heroic thing because she has nothing to lose.

Raine clearly realises Eda is trying to die because she has something to lose, and she assumes she is losing it. Dying to Eda is less painful and scary than being abandoned again.

I mentioned that childhood trauma/abuse can cause BPD to develop, and I’d argue that having a curse that caused the people she loved to leave her because she pushed them away, or because it seemed like her curse made her too monstrous to love, is pretty traumatising.

And that fear of abandonment predates even the curse, as it was revealed in the flashback episode where her and Raine met, that Eda had no friends, was ostracised by her teachers/principle and that she was terrified of being separate from Lilith; her only friend. Eda didn't know what an expulsion would mean for their relationship, if Lilith would still be her best friend, or if Lilith progressed onwards without her, would she abandon Eda?

Well, that worry was validated when it was revealed their sister relationship fell apart sometime between their late teens and mid-forties, when Lilith is introduced as Eda’s rival and Eda’s expression is stormy when she first sees Lilith on screen, it’s laos important to note that Lilith attacked first at the convention with her words, and Eda, having some very stormy feelings about her sister, responds to the greeting by cutting Lilith down in front of young fans in a way she knows will rile up her sister.

She basically attacks Lilith’s mask by mentioning that Lilith peed herself at a convention as a kid, and then proceeds to act childish in Lilith’s presence to wind her up and prove to Lilith that she is no better than Eda and that she’s not changed a bit since they were kids where it counts, according to Lilith.

We don’t know what caused Eda and Lilith to feud like this, but it can be assumed that LIlith joining a coven that allows only two days off a year made Eda feel like she was abandoned by her sister in some of the worst years of her life, by the person she once called her best friend.

The breakdown of such an important relationship would be upsetting to anyone, but to Eda, in the situation she was in, that would have to be further traumatising.

To add to the familial issues, Eda has issues with Gwen.

The entirety of keeping up a-fear-ances was about how gwen had failed both her daughters, but for this post, it’s that Gwen treated the curse, something so integral to Eda and her life at this point, something that Eda cannot change or separate herself from, like something her mom needed to cure her of.

To eradicate. So much so that she disregarded Eda’s bodily autonomy and safety at multiple points in just one episode and caused Eda to snap. She scared Eda into running away as a teenager, and she had to apologise to Eda in that episode for making her daughter feel like she didn’t love her. “I love every part of you.” - to paraphrase what Gwen said.

It’s not hard to imagine that feeling like your own mother would rather risk your health and happiness, disregard your wishes and try to remove an unremovable part of your person, would make you feel more unlovable and broken than you already feel.

I’m sure that this contributed to Eda’s fear of abandonment and would help cultivate the already existing internal shame she feels just for existing next to her loved ones and feeling like she’s not good enough to be in their lives because all she does is hurt them.

Yup, this is setting up my next point…

Shame/Low Sense of Self-Worth

Proof that Eda’s self-worth is low and her inner shame is high comes from how she treats her kids and her father. Eda struggles to look at people she feels she’s let down. While some individuals with BPD might do everything to avoid abandonment, Eda tends to abandon people first and devalues herself in the process, convincing herself she doesn’t deserve to fight for them or be in their company.

Her inner shame mostly stems from how she handles her curse, its impact on her life, and her past relationships. With Luz and King, she initially keeps up a protective wall and avoids physical affection. When she believes they are leaving her, she justifies her suicidal thoughts to Raine by denying her role as their "mother," revealing her deep-seated belief that she's unworthy of such a title.

Despite considering them her children, Eda questions her ability to be a suitable mother figure, expressing doubts about her worthiness. It takes reassurance from Raine for Eda to begin to accept that she is needed and, consequently, good enough.

Her relationship with Dell, though mentioned sparingly, has left lasting scars. Eda blames herself for hurting him and struggles to forgive herself, even when her father asks her to move on from the past.

In Knock Knock-Knocking on Hooty’s Door, Eda implies that she is haunted by nightmares of her breakup with Raine, blaming herself entirely for their breakup. This implied consistent rumination suggests that she feels responsible for every abandonment and rejection she has experienced, exacerbating her inner shame.

Raine was likely the last stable influence in Eda’s life, and her breakup further solidified Eda’s belief that she is the cause of her own abandonment. This cycle of self-blame and perceived rejection has left lasting mental scars, reinforcing Eda’s sense of brokenness and perpetuating her feelings of endless abandonment.

By examining Eda’s behaviour and internal struggles, it becomes evident that her shame and low sense of self-worth are deeply ingrained, shaping her relationships and interactions throughout the series.

Splitting

I can’t really talk about a BPD headcanon without mentioning its most famous feature. Splitting, from what I understand, is when a person's mood, sense of self, or perception of others shifts dramatically in the other direction in response to a threat, stressor, or trigger.

It might not just look like, “I like this person.” “Now I hate this person.” It can manifest as more dynamic, extreme black-and-white thinking, where something is either all or nothing:

“She always does this.”

“He never does that.”

“Things always go wrong.”

“This always goes right.”

The black-and-white thinking can be either positive or negative and can even be about a person's own self. And this is where my headcanon goes a bit shaky, because all I really have to go off of is Eda’s initial attitude of “We weirdos stick together,” and then how she switches those ideals up when she’s devaluing herself and her importance within the relationships she has with friends and family.

This is particularly evident with the kids and her extreme and impulsive suicide attempt, where I get this feeling of “I’m not good enough, and I will never be good enough.” off of her.

She also changes her mood with Lilith very quickly during the season 1 finale. A few minutes ago, she was ready to kill her sister and saw her as the most vile person she’d ever met. The next minute, she is letting her sister back into her house and wanting a relationship with her again after she split the curse.

There is this kind of emotional impermanence where she forgives Lilith and goes straight back to wanting to be friends with her at a speed and level that isn’t common at all. No matter what is done to Eda, she seems to bounce back quickly, no matter how badly she’s hurt in the end.

That's all I've really got for that, to be honest. If I find more that explores this idea better, I will probably make a post about it.

Conclusion

I think that turbulent relationships, a massive fear of abandonment, risky and impulsive behaviours and high shame/low self esteem are key parts of Eda’s character and that’s why I headcanon her to have BPD(borderline personality disorder.)

#the owl house #toh #eda clawthorne #toh eda #edalyn clawthorne #raine whispers #toh raine #luz noceda #lilith clawthorne #toh luz #king clawthorne #gwendolyn clawthorne #toh gwen #dell clawthorne #bpd headcanon #I said I'd write it and i got around to it about 10 months later #toh headcanon

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ninadove · 2 years

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In defense of Huntlow

A love letter to Dana and the Owl Crew

Recently, I have been witnessing an increase in anti-Huntlow rhetoric on Tumblr, which I originally ignored, knowing how intense shipping wars can be.

Earlier today, however, I came across a very inflammatory post accusing Dana and the crew of bad - if not intentionally hurtful - writing for seemingly leaning towards making the ship canon.

As an ace, demiromantic lesbian who deeply cares about queer representation in media, I decided to share some thoughts on the matter, by addressing and hopefully debunking the main accusations I have seen out there.

I. A deliberate jab at the aspec community

Due to the dreadful lack of representation in mainstream media, many aspec viewers, myself included, headcanon Hunter as being somewhere on the spectrum.

Some erroneously believe that Hunter’s obvious crush on Willow invalidates this understanding of his character, and have even gone as far as to imply that the writing team deliberately deprived them of representation - ignoring the fact that Hunter’s arc was most likely fully fleshed out long before he was introduced to the fandom.

The thing is, we do get canon representation in the form of Lilith, who might be willing to boogy down to history town, but definitely isn’t willing to boogy down with you or anyone else for that matter. And let me tell you, she is *great* representation - a complex character who is in no way demonised or infantilised.

Additionally, and perhaps even more importantly, Hunter’s crush does *not* negate his belonging to the spectrum - key word here being *spectrum*. He might not fit the specific label you had in mind, but that’s alright - remember we come in all shapes and sizes!

II. Pushing a queer ship out of the spotlight

The argument here is that Huntlow has been distracting both the audience and the narrative itself from Lumity, an explicitely queer relationship that has been providing groundbreaking representation in the otherwise desperately heteronormative world of kids’ television.

I’ll be honest - I don’t really understand where this comes from. Huntlow might have been getting more fanart and fanfic lately due to the novelty factor, but in no way does this pose a credible threat to Lumity, which absolutely remains the main focus on the show as well as the most popular ship in the fandom ( in fact, most TOH artists seem to ship both pairings! ).

As of now, Huntlow is nothing more than a one-sided teenage crush, while Lumity has been getting in-depth development throughout season 2, culminating in their iconic kiss - I’m sure the team had to fight very hard for this scene to stay in, so let’s show some appreciation!

Interestingly, Raeda also benefited from the novelty factor when it was first introduced, and didn’t receive *nearly* as much backlash. The reason for this difference in treatment? Raeda is an explicitly queer ship.

And the thing is, in a series with so much representation, Huntlow might very well turn out to be as well ( cf point 1 ) ! There is a longstanding bias in the LGBTQIA community against « straight-passing » relationships and people who do not look « queer enough ». In all likeliness, we won’t get any confirmed labels for these two ( which is *fine* - they are kids! ), but it would be very interesting if the show actually took us down that road and forced us to confront our own biases.

( Also, people are allowed to be cishet. But that is not my point here. )

III. Underdevelopment and « bad writing »

As a RWBY veteran, I have grown used to Bumbleby-antis claiming the ship overtook the plot while paradoxically getting no development. This flawed logic seems to be repeated here, so let’s explore a couple of possibilities.

Personally, I would prefer Hunter and Willow’s relationship to stay as it is as of the end of season 2 - celebrating the important role first crushes can play in shaping one’s identity, even though they might never lead to any concrete romantic fulfillement. But, in the very likely occurrence that something *will* happen between these two, there is plenty of material to back them up.

A. Lumity parallels or the tomato syndrome

Some argue that Huntlow lacks development because all we’ve seen so far is one-sided blushing on Hunter’s part - completely overlooking the fact that this is exactly how Lumity started out!

The parallels do not stop there, however, as many excellent posts have pointed out. Both Amity and Hunter grew up in physically and emotionally abusive households, and connecting with their respective crushes helped them gain a new understanding of the world. In his « Captain », Hunter has found a person he can experience healthy admiration for, something that is also significant for Willow who has a history of being overlooked and underestimated.

In fact, one might even argue that Amity predicted Hunter’s crush - remember that one scene in Eclipse Lake? This is great foreshadowing!

B. Caleb parallels or the radical act of love

Now that we know more about Belos’ backstory, a key theme of the show is starting to emerge: love as a vector of rebellion, freedom and systemic change - a message that the LGBTQIA community as a whole is very familiar with.

While Hunter and the previous Golden Guards are all unique individuals with a mind and heart of their own, the fact that every single one of them ultimately chose to rebel against Belos is a strong sign that Caleb’s influence has persisted throughout the centuries. And what was Caleb’s biggest crime, exactly?

Falling in love with a witch.

The point here is not that Hunter is condemned to fall in love with a witch himself by virtue of being a clone with no agency of his own. It’s that Caleb’s hardships and bravery in the face of bigotry opened the door for him to proclaim his own independence through the radical act of embracing a form of love that the powers in place deem demonic and unnatural.

And what an amazing message to send out to a young audience.

IV. But… But the age gap is predatory!!!

I might be gay, but I can still do Maths. So let’s do just that.

Hunter is canonically 16. I don’t believe Willow’s age is ever outright stated in the series, but I assume she is around Luz’s age. Had it not been for Disney being, you know, Disney, our girl would have celebrated her quinceañera in season 3, so we can extrapolate that at this point in the story, Willow is around 15 as well.

That’s a one-year difference. Come on, guys.

Final thoughts: maybe stop being mad about everything all the time

Look guys, I get it, I really do. We have all been starving for queer content our entire lives, so when we finally get it, we expect it to match every single one of the expectations we’ve been desperately holding on for so long.

But the thing is, harassing a queer creator who is fighting tooth and nail to provide kids with life-changing ( and potentially life-saving ) representation is only going to hurt us further.

Use this energy to write fanfic, draw fanart, create a story that will inspire others the way this show does for so many of us. Campaign for more representation in media. Question your own biases and be a little kinder to one another.

And, most importantly - watch The Owl House!

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