#listen you could never Get this character unless you are a messy bitch yourself or know a messy bitch like him

[elvesofnoldor]

.

[katsukisbeatingheart]

torridly we touch

soulmate au where you're born with markings on your body, representing the place you and your soulmate make physical contact for the first time.

word count: 3,055

warnings: a not too terribly graphic description of One (1) injury right at the beginning

a.n.: i love him. i love sero hanta. he's comfort character. i think of him and it's just instant happy. sero toe nin. i love him so MUCH thamk u that is all.

psst

you can find shinso’s here!

you can find dabi’s here!

you can find bakugou’s here!

ao3

Splotched light and color rolled around the backs of his eyelids, sweeping up and over Sero's peripheries. It criminally overshadowed the shock concussing his senses—if one could believe it—unfolding under the jagged ridges protruding from his torso. His perp had skewered him from behind, hulking a torn chunk of scaffolding through the air with a missile-like boom.  

In retrospect, he really should have seen it coming.

A contentedly lazy late morning of patrol sent Cellophane through the skyscapes like he didn’t have a tape quirk anchoring him to his responsibilities below.  

The breeze shrugged along his arms and shoulders as he propelled himself up and over startled but beaming pedestrians, many of whom stopped to cheer and wave after him. Sun warm on his skin, Sero spun and twisted freely like he’d trained and dreamed to all those many not-so-long years ago as a kid.  

He felt like Deku, Gale Force, Tsukuyomi—flitting through the air as though he was born to be there, wingless and all.

Maybe in a bit, he’d make a stop by his favorite food stall, he mused; the one with frozen orange slices and berries on a stick—the ones he could swallow and stomach the brain freeze for the sweet freshness that burst on his tongue. He could chill out in the park, swinging around to say hello to the kids in the area and mingle with the people.  

There was a particular character who tended to the flowers along the fountain he maybe—kind of—really was hoping to get a glimpse of.

And maybe, kind of, possibly take the chance to talk to.

He didn’t know.  

He was feeling good today, and not a thing could—

A harsh howl punctured the idealistic bubble carrying him higher up the skyline the deeper he dove into the metropolis.

Alright.

Never mind that, then.

As easy as it was to climb, Sero dropped, angling his arms to lampposts and street signs underneath him with a precision engrained into him like the blood in his veins. He swept over loosely scattering civilians—some static in their movements, unyielding in spite of the clamour swallowing their morning.

Unless, maybe this was part of routine. Used to the calamity like nothing more than a bit of poor weather at this point.  

Regardless, Cellophane kept his visor up and his smile bright, unwilling to sacrifice morale irrespective of the moment.  

The young hero gained on the silhouette quickly panning into view.

Almost getting flattened in the process.

Sero watched the wild swinging of limbs corner and constrict against the tapering street way, as well as the succeeding attempt—ironically, an epic fail—at maneuvering around the buildings—which appeared to be bending in further inward to try and grab at him.

The figure was bumbling and dumb, too witless to be considered threatening—if it weren’t for his size. He dwarfed nearly every building on the block, catching pieces of the façade on serrated contours of his limbs, like overgrown, triangulated, scales. He looked like a walking rock slide, to be completely honest.  

A walking, groaning rock slide, closing up his only feasible escape route with his own carnage the further he rumbled into the enclosed shopping district. Obviously, still bad—but if he was trying to be discreet in his escape from whatever he had done, it was not working.

A quirk that granted gargantuan impressiveness to an existence of such— such—

Sero struggled to find the words.

Stupidity was all he could come up with, as it was by the very definition the embodiment of stupid, he was sure.  

Which made the hero feel all the more a pathetic, diminutive lump of mass bleeding out onto the asphalt beneath him.

His helmet had cracked in a lightning strike down the front of his vision, webbing into whittled scuffs and bruises along the polycarbonate. He frowned, briefly pondering how much of a bitch it was going to be trying to patch that up on his own, before shipping it off to the agency to have it repaired. He loved his support team, but he’d be damned if he kept coming to them with new problems every sparking day.

That was even just forgoing the fact that at present, he existed as nothing more than a sticky shish kabob, which he guessed, was probably a far more pressing matter than the sanctity of his uniform.  

He really should have seen this coming.

The big guy was so hard to miss too!

Already, the pipe was growing more and more tangible as the initial effects of the impact wore away. Sero inhaled sharply, grunting a terse breath past gritted teeth that had only moments before set into a smile. He did his best to keep it there, but the aching in his body chipped mercilessly at his liveliness. Needless to say, having a piece of anything—much more a metal baton—sticking out of your body was not great, and struggling with it while there was an unhinged behemoth to chase after did not help.

Well this just sucks.

His vision swirled as sweat gathered with a vengeance at the nape of his neck.  

He could power through it, he told himself, if he really tried.

His stomach plunged in protest.

Look for a way to shuck down the edges to avoid catching on anything as he swung after the assailant, but not so short as to accidentally let it wiggle free.  

He was scrambling now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He could tape around it then, wrap himself up to subdue the throbbing—provide a little extra pressure to hold himself together.  

And then what? Stand up? All on his own?

Yeah, yeah—and then finish what this bloke started and then think about worrying about the pipe in his side.

As if.

Pfft, no biggie, he’s had paper cuts and stubbed toes worse than this. This was nothing. Besides, with the hole in him now, he was finally starting to look like a completed tape dispenser.  

Sero choked, immediately wincing as his light and sudden chuckle fractured into choppy, pained gasps.

He thought about what his friends would do.

He knew Bakugo would absolutely make fun of him for getting taken down by a stick, but would definitely blast him to a melted puddle of glue if he found out he didn’t stop to try and save himself.

And the others would let him, no arguments made.

As he sat there struggling for breath, he didn’t notice the uneven and desperate pitter patter of quick feet, skipping and twisting over piles of rubble to get to him. Otherwise preoccupied, Cellophane plucked at his inner grit with an iron resolve, goading his ego raging angrier than the giant into standing up.

It wasn’t until a figure was on him and they were pressing their fingers and palms into his exposed abdomen, did he make a motion.  

It was quicker than you or him were ready for, the hand not cradling his injury lurching out like a threatened snake to wrap around one of your wrists.

His grip wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t particularly painful either—as if giving whatever had startled him the chance to take a step back.  

Looking back, he should’ve maybe been ready for the villain.

But nothing could’ve prepared him for this.

No matter how much people told him about soulmates—answered all of his eager questions with a knowing smile and a glinting prospect like they knew the secret the universe had gifted to him, and him alone.

Well.

And you.

Wait, and you.

His torso burned like he’d been lit into by Shoto again—only this time with his left side— convinced your quirk was actually some sort of flame emitter cauterizing his wound. But when his fingers brushed the still-inky injury on their way to you, the pain only confirmed his suspicions.

There was a ringing in his ears, echoing like the messy tumble of fireworks from the stars as they popped in and out of existence. He knew for certain it was true, when he saw the same chain of emotions flicker across your features. Your eyes settled on your subtly splotched fingertips—marks now glowing with a light that grossly undermined the actual sensation.

“Hey…” his voice was barely a whisper, raspy enough to strike a nerve in the back of your head that screamed something was wrong.

As if. Being stabbed wasn’t wrong enough.

You did your best to quell the raging pit of unease filming your stomach, however, steeling an attentive and encouraging gaze on the man beneath your fingers.

“It’s—” he coughed, convulsing on the single syllable as though doing that much took an even bigger bit out of him than the metal did.  

You held your breath, attempting to quietly collect your whirligig thoughts—which were spinning wildly beyond your control—and carefully listen for the fragmented voice stuttering for air.

”—it’s kn—”

Wait.

“—knife—”

Was he…?

“—It’s knife to finally meet you.”

…laughing.

He was laughing.

If he weren’t dying already, you’d have probably killed him.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head so hard they'd have continued on to the next person. You thumped angrily on his thigh, pushing a sorely relieved exhale and horribly infuriated growl off the tip of your tongue and through your clenched teeth.

“I swear to— I thought you were—! Shut up and don’t scare me like that again!”

His chortling rolled heavier over his shoulders and you watched the tension dissipate with his self-satisfied grin. Cellophane said nothing more, focusing a poor attempt to stifle his own amusement. A small smile tied to an afterthought crept to your lips.

You couldn’t help yourself.

“And while we’re at it—please, spear me your lame jokes—if you’re going to make a pun, at least do it right.”

“Ugh, yeah. You’re definitely the one for me, alright.” It was his turn to groan, though he was looking less and less like a man who’d been skewered on the sidewalk and more like the raffish character you presumed him to usually be. If he was this charming a battered mess, you wondered what he was capable of when fully rational.

You blushed a vivid red, hiding your discomposure in a glare of concentration toward your quirk.

“I said: stop talking—you’ll waste your energy and make me lose focus,” you breathed through your teeth's tight grip on your lip.

“Can’t help I’m just so naturally distracting,” he keened—hardly ashamed in his own assuredness. And if you hadn’t just snapped a gentle chastisement over concentration, you’d have glared affectionately at the wounded man's glimmering smirk, silently and unquestionably agreeing with him. When you don’t say anything though, Cellophane quietly falters—speaking lightly of a great disappointment in the history of soulmates, he’s sure. He has his own bias, but he doesn’t think he could imagine lesser, at the moment—and that makes him internally lurch.

“So much for first impressions, huh?”

“I’ve had much worse,” you smile softly.

“I—Worse? What could possibly be worse than seeing a kebabed man flirt with you and death at the same time?” he asked, croaking on the end of his sentence under an ill-concealed grimace.  

He managed to start taking a distracted interest in what your fingers were doing, previously a little caught off-guard with the consecutive life-changing occurrences back to back. Cellophane was starting to feel at the end of his roll, and in a way, he was thankful for the game shifting, beguiling twist of fate—incapable of being more thankful that you came with it.  

That was the moment it occurred to him exactly who you were and where he’d seen you before.

Guess he was given the chance to find the nerve to talk to you after all.

Your voice never strayed from its lightness, coaxing a staggering breath out of him with ease when he hadn’t even realized he’d ever stopped. The rise and fall of his chest fluttered in time with your lashes as they beat rapidly in bashfulness and thought.

“It’s not every day you get to help your hero, much more find out you’re cosmologically joined at the hip,” you conceded with soothing finality. It took a moment for Sero’s head to stop spinning—a symptom that had nothing to do with the gouge in his side. Cellophane's smirk—that he previously had trouble plastering on—grew exponentially.

“You heard it here folks—you admit you’re stuck with me—the universe said no take-backs.”  

“I’m looking forward to it,” you whispered.

He raised his arm to catch a stray drop of sweat rolling down your creased brow, holding it to the sun thoughtfully, like anything that came from you—a very familiar stranger—held every single answer to every single question in existence.

He swiped his fingertips over the skin of your hand, sending a rippling shiver down your spine and right back up again.  

“You’re beautiful,” he said, already feeling more and more alive by the second. He burned through you with two measly words and it was enough to gulp down a bit of air like a person suffocated. Heat twisted in your chest and up to the apples of your cheeks, positively glowing.

You sat back on your heels with a small huff, pushing off the ground to stand upright. You hadn’t remembered grabbing his hand to pull him with you, distractedly pleased he didn’t squirm or groan as he came with. That meant you had done your job.

“My Quirk 's a sustainability quirk,” you revealed evenly, a modicum of urgency swallowing the statement. You hoped he didn’t catch the light shake in your voice.  

Or the dodge of his appraisal.

“I can only do so much to help the body along, but that’s only under the pretense that you’ll be resting. It’ll open again soon—sooner rather than later so— so please—” you paused to tug sternly at the plates resting on his collar bone, “—be careful.”

He grinned a grin that felt like a sunspot, teasing a fresh pot of soil and the breeze of green leaves secured beneath attentive fingers. His voice was like dimly glowing embers tucked into the palm of your hand. It was one of your favorite feelings in the world.

“You got it.”

“Go be a hero.”

He leaned forward to press his lips firmly to the crown of your forehead, a steady and solid reminder that your life was never going to be the same at long last.

“Always.”

…

“I told you to be careful!”

“Its just a flesh wound.”

“You nearly had your arm torn off!” you shrieked.  

You had watched the man swing up and out of your arms after securing a bit of tape around his torso—winking with a bravado unbefitting of someone so close to death mere minutes before, and yet so natural in the expression of an honest hero—before you collapsed in an exhausted pile on the concrete.  

Aiding people did substantially different—not quite so much larger; just different—damage to your vitality than healing plants did. And it didn’t help realizing the kind of pressure you hand on your hands— literally on your hands, you thought, as you gazed wondrously at the soul-marks on your fingertips. You don’t recall there ever being a cosmogonic blueprint or script issued for meeting your “other half”, but you can’t say you ever expected to meet and then have to save their life within the same breath.

But when the fight came back around to the wrecked and abandoned square—Cellophane at the lead looking like a poke that stoked a malignant fire with that mischievous grin and clear, self-satisfied cackle thrown to the raging bull of a human behind him—you damn near keeled over.  

The hero led him down the way, stringing tape like tripwire and nets as he went—successfully slowing the giant down, and unsuccessfully quelling his erraticism.

The hero had the audacity to smile and wink at you again, like he was playing some kind of game and not taunting someone who had nearly killed him.

“I did not find you just to lose you within the same day! You better be careful!” you had shouted, grinding the heel of your shoe into the concrete as you fisted your hands at your sides like a child mid-tantrum.

Cellophane’s blithe articulation snapped you back to your present fury—still bubbling over from moments ago. His smile hadn’t broken since you put it back with the touch of your hands, and he was certain it would never fall off again, as long as you were around.

“Fine, fine—you win. Kiss it better?”  

“Do not push your luck, hero,” you growled angrily (at the impetuous boy in front of you!).  

You found yourself reaching for him anyway.

Grasping at the lightly shredded fabric of his hero suit to tug him toward you, your lips collided in a fervent promise and torrid threat. Even as he met you with equal gumption, that smile never fractured.

“Looks like I’d better get into trouble more often, if this is what I get for it,” he sighed against your lips. You leaned back, humming contentedly and bumping your nose to his in an idle brush brimming with affection. He grinned at you through a half-lidded gaze that almost made you visibly squirm.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Wanna go grab something to eat? I know this great ice pop stand we could swing by that I’ve been thinking about all day.”

“After we get you taken care of,” you ribbed, gently jabbing your knuckles into the side that wasn’t currently trying to hold itself together by the fading effects of your quirk and the measly piece of tape from his. He jolted lightly, leaning down to groan into the flesh of your cheek.

You twirled your fingers together fondly, dipping your head and realigning your faces one more time to press your forehead to his, your eyes sliding shut as a new wave of euphoria rushed through you. His curled fingers fit softly into your own and you couldn’t fight the urge to brush them along your lips even if you wanted to.

“After.”

[5t0ryt1m3]

Remus’s Suffering

Remus’s mind is a bitch to him in more than one ways. 

A note: Bold words in Deceit’s speech are meant to be taken the opposite

Tags: @chatladybugaboo @angelicblackwolf

Warnings: Mentions of character deaths, cannibalism, and a lot of angst

Word Count: 1440

It was just one of those days for Remus. His mind was not shutting up as idea after idea came by. Maybe one of them could stick if he went to see everyone else.

Ever sense he got turned into a giant, Remus had to live a little ways away but the others made sure that he was either included in activities or just visited as so he could have fun. He loved playing with Patton and Deceit the most. Patton loved being tossed into the air only to land in his massive hand. Deceit was more for being chased around like a mouse. Like a game of cat and mouse but more like a game of octopus and snake. It was fun. Roman liked to create stories with him like before but more with giants and tiny people now. Virgil would hide away with the giant side to watch some Nightmare Before Christmas and cheesy horror movies. Logan liked asking him questions about how his new size and body were adjusting.

Of course he himself was very happy to get the attention. And -

Chew up Roman and feed his guts to Deceit.

The intrusive thought but(t)ed in like most of his own. But this, this wasn’t good intrusive no no no no no no no no no, this was a bad kind. Thomas’s intrusive thoughts were nothing compared to the detail of Remus’s. Remus made sure to dial Thomas’s as not to scar him. But Remus couldn’t do that, no no no, Remus was stuck with -

Shove a thumb up Logan’s ass and than stamp on him.

What would be like to tear Virgil’s arms off as he gets steamrolled over?

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

He couldn’t see them now! He wouldn’t see them! His own impulse was worse as he is now and his own strength could any of these thoughts happen!

Before Remus knew it, he was in a small corner of his room with his hands under his arms, head down, knees to his chest. He just….needed to let this pass, like the other times. Stay still, don’t move. Don’t react, don’t think.

A mantra that Remus came up with to help him through these moments. It was wishful thinking that the others could help but again that was wishful. If anything it would make them fearful of him if his impulsiveness kicked in around them. Remus just let the thoughts keep coming, one after another. Just let it pass.

Like the other sides, he had his own anxieties too. His were of himself, especially now. Hands that could flattened humans like pancakes, strength to make another pop like a zit, teeth that could skewer a person. A poke could kill someone if he wasn’t careful. Normally, he wasn’t because it wouldn’t be any of his family on the receiving end.

He was rough, yes, but he did his best to not even use 1/100th of his strength. He was scary, yes, but he never means to scare anyone unless they gave him their consent first. He was huge compared to the other sides. They were like itty bitty figures to him. He was roughly 150 feet tall as measured by Logan. If he squished them, they be nothing but red on the floor and he didn’t like it.

His mind was racing with these thoughts. Thoughts of torturing the other sides with his strength, his hands, his feet, and teeth. Mashing them up and eating them or feeding the dead sides to each other before he takes them all. The worst ones were of Thomas - not him! They always physical hurt Remus when those thoughts came up.

But he kept up his mantra and didn’t give into his impulse. So long as none of them came to him, they would be fine. Time pasted with what seemed to be a crawl. The thoughts hadn’t let up nor had they gotten worse. Luckily, thoughts about Thomas hadn’t appear yet.

“Remus! Hey, bro what - oh dear.” FUCK! Roman walked into the larger twin’s room. Remus forgot to lock his room! Roman stayed away from Remus, his twin had seen him like this but never this huge! Gods he was going scare Roman away again! Unfocused eyes were halfway trained on Roman and halfway trained on nothing. The thoughts shifted to being Roman centric and it wasn’t pleasant for Remus.

“Shit, Remus, you having an episode? Of course he is Roman, don’t be an idiot.” Roman berated himself before coming close to Remus. Remus reacted by squeezing himself inward. He didn’t want anyone close to him. Roman could help but his impulse was screaming for him to bite of a leg of Roman’s! Roman didn’t get closer than 30 feet but that was still too close for Remus. Roman began to speak about different ideas that he had for Thomas’s videos and how Remus could still be in them. It be hard but Roman was more than willing to help his brother out. Roman simply just talked, and talked, and talked, and -

“Kiddos! I am coming in!”

“Oh no!” Roman gasped, Patton would want to comfort Remus with hugs. That could send him into a panic that no one wanted, “Wait Patton!”

“Yes?” Patton had opened the door just a bit and the amazing sent of Patton’s home cooked meal wafted into the darker twin’s room. It smelled like ribs, Remus’s favorite, for how messy it was -

Crunch on Patton’s ribs.

Remus went rigged again, listening but not hearing Roman talking to Patton. Patton’s cry followed by Roman holding him back only made Remus realize that Roman told Patton!

‘Patton please leave! I don’t want you hurt by me!’ Remus internally screamed as Patton struggled against the fanciful side. The struggles only stopped when another voice spoke up,

“What isn’t going on in here?” Deceit, with Logan and Virgil coming through. Deceit’s eyes widened upon seeing Remus’s stated. The half snake cused softly and explained to the other two.

No Thomas, good. No need to traumatize his host with this.

Patton took this opportunity to get out of Roman’s grips and sprint to Remus. Only to be tackled down by Deceit, Deceit held tightly as Patton yelled about ‘needing to tend to his dirty son’.

If anyone was the dirtiest, it was Roman. His room was an organized mess. Remus and Logan were tied for most cleaned and organized rooms.

Remus burly watched as the others talked and began to work their own magic. Logan would give some kind of fact, some random and off the top of his head. Roman would make up a story with the fact some where in there. Patton would add something as Virgil would point out inconsistencies or give a different point of view. Deceit watched Remus, Deceit waited. Deceit was very good at waiting. He would update the others if anything changed with Remus. Virgil made sure that Remus didn’t hyperventilate and Logan and Roman continued to fill the air about nothing and everything.

Remus began to feel confident.

“Remus, you aren’t fine now?” Deceit asked, not moving. He had let go of Patton, only for Patton to be grabbed by Roman.

“Tired…..”

“You know we are scared of you right? We will leave.”

“I know….sorry you guys had to see me like this.”

“We are a family Remus. Family must look out for each other no matter what.” Logan stated, looking up at the giant side. Virgil nodded.

“Remus, you’re my brother, I love you and I won’t stop loving you. No matter what happens!” Roman grinned before letting go of Patton. The fatherly side ran straight to Remus’s feet and hugged his ankles. It felt like a dam had been busted and tears started running down his checks. Remus unfolded himself to pick Patton up. He held the smaller male on his nose as Remus keep crying. Soon he felt more tinies climb his pants up. His family, as tiny as they may be compared to him, they were his.

“You will hurt us Remus, I don’t know that.” Deceit spoke as he and the others got up on his knees, “You shouldn’t give yourself more credit. You don’t have the strength to resist those impulses.”

Remus felt another wave of tears stream down his face. He picked the others up, with a little hesitation, and held them to his chest. He moved Patton to his chest as well as he cried. He was lucky to have them as a family.

[pamgkrthwrites]

Vent Writing : Daddy Issues, a OC Underfell story

So I’ve been scrolling YouTube lately and I found this neat song called “Not Your Seed” from the “I Don’t Like Musicals” Musical... Huh... ANYWAY!

So I was listening to it and with my dad leaving my mum, I started to imagine the song in a Underfell setting with my persona. So here is a little story of what that scene I made up in my head. No need to read, just some personal writing to let of some steam. 

There is no monsters, this is based before they are let out. The characters are Mother Pamgkrth, Father Pamgkrth, Daniel Pamgkrth, Anne Pamgkrth(me), James Pamgkrth and Shannon McApplebees. 

“Daddy?” Anne had opened the to see her father standing at the front door of her mother large cabin. 

Anne had her long blonde messy yet brushed hair out, red jersey with golden strips, black jeans, black thick army boots, black eyeliner and deep red lipstick on. 

Behind her was her mother, older brother Daniel, younger brother James and best friend Shannon. Anne’s mother looked like her, just a bit taller, grey shorter and messier hair, and chubby. Dan had his curly brown hair shaved off but wore full black leader besides the red top under his jacket. James had short blonde hair and wore a big thick red jumper with white strips. Shannon had dark brown hair, pale white skin, black jumper with red strips, and black eye liner and lipstick.

“Anne,” Her father greeted and a frown. “Are you ready to go?”

Anne’s father didn’t change. He had the same brown hair as Dan, and also wore leather. However, unlike Dan, he didn’t stay around for Anne.

“... I’ll be right back.” Anne said the house hold member, before she stepped outside and closed the front door. 

“Great, lets get going.” Her fatehr turned and started walking towards his black car. “We will be late to meet her if we waste more time.”

“... Daddy I’m not going.”

Anne’s father stopped, and he turned around. “What?”

“I’m not going to meet your new girlfriend.”

“Your mother just told you not come is that it? Stop letting your mother control you, Anne!” He yelled. 

“Mummy doesn’t control me.” Anne sighed out. 

“Oh, so why does she get more time with you than me then huh? I just want you, my daughter, to meet-”

Anne interrupted, “I’m not your daughter anymore.”

“Excuse me?!”

“I’m not that tween you that you drove here for. Maybe at 11 I would have gone with you... Maybe even a couple of months ago... But I can’t. I’m not your daughter anymore.”

“Anne, what are you going on about? Did she over take your body and mind with some gross interpretation of me?” He asked yet yelled.

“Daddy... I’m not supporting you with your divorce of Mum.”

He glared and trusted his arms into the arm and turned around. “First your bothers, now you?! What has that bitch said about me-”

“You left me out of your sight for one second, and look what happens, NIGHTMARE TIME!” Anne yelled at him, glaring up at her father. 

He snapped his body around. “Don’t talk to me that way-”

“You left us! You left for work and never called us! You would have rather spent your days working then even SEEING YOUR KIDS! I can’t say this for Dan, but I know for me and James, you have NOT been here for our teenagers years! You only EVER focused on work! Then, out of nowhere, you decided to divorce mum!” Anne yelled, tears threatening to leave her eyes. “You didn’t tell us, she did! That was TWO YEARS AGO! How could you not tell us? How could you not see us for 5 years then decided this family wasn’t for you? You only started to see us again these past two years because we grew up with mum and prefer her! Maybe, if you even knew our mental state, we would choose you!”

“Oh good god, Anne.” He glared and rubbed his eyebrows. “You do not have depression.”

“it’s worse than you can even imagine!” Anne yelled. “I have attachment disorder, I have PTSD, I have anxiety, and yes, I have depression! You want to know what caused that? Not sex, not drugs, not a alien that invades minds. Just a pedo grooming me at 14 when my father wasn’t in my fucking life!” Anne yelled and tears rolled down her father.

Anne was so glad they lived in a cabin in the middle of some woods, with no one around. She wouldn’t be able to say that.

Her father was speechless. He didn’t know how to respond. 

“That was 3 years ago dad! 3 FUCKING YEARS!” More tears left her eyes, and they stung from her make up. “No, am not your daughter; because you were NEVER there for me! No, I will not meet your girlfriend; because she drove you away from this family! No more family vacays together; because your only daughter under the weather! Huh, and only if you paid more attention to me...”

There was a long pause between the two. 

“Anne... I understand you are having a hard time right now with your mother, but you are MY daughter too. I deserve to see my daughter. Even if you don’t want that. I you SHOULD meet your new mother.”

“You see, daddy, I’m not going to be pushed around, by you!” She glared up at him. “I am not your seed, I am a girl who happens to be you biological daughter. I’m not a angsty teen, I have actual issues which you keep ignoring! No matter what you believe, mummy doesn’t control me, she doesn’t abuse me. She never fucking left me! Maybe in my cause, I was the apple that fell far away from the tree, but you didn’t fall at all when it came to your family.”

Anne’s father’s eyes grew red with a wave of rage magic. “HOW DARE YOU! You don’t know anything you are talking about!”

“Your own father cheated on you mum, like you! Your own father left you and your mother to be with his girlfriend, like you! Unlike you, my mother actually fucking stayed!”

“I am not like my father, you brat!” He yelled.

“It’s not my fault, is it?! You haven’t lived with me for the past 7 years of my life! It’s not my fault you left us, left me! I don’t have to worry about you and wait for you to even text me!” Anne had more tears run down her cheeks. 

More tears ran down Anne’s cheeks, more and more. She was letting out all the pain and hurt she felt for the past two months. Anne heard heard the door open and heard people walk in towards them. Anne glared back up at her father, unable to see him with her tears in her eyes. 

“Did you know I wanted to live with you?” Anne whispered. “I wanted to forgive you, I wanted to be loved by you, I wanted to be your daughter... But you proved yourself... You showed me what you are really like.”

Anne could tell her father was about to speak, but then a hand land on her shoulder. Anne looked up and saw Shannon’s face. 

“You showed everyone in this family how horrible you are as a parent! You want to be with your kids, then you should fight for them, and that doesn’t mean kicking them out of the house their mother paid for!”

Anne’s father was speechless. Shannon never once talked to him, so hearing this child that was made out of skin and bone talk to him made him angry. 

“Your just like her, aren't you? You like invading my kids’ minds just to toy with?” Anne’s mother mocked.

“Did you know mum let Shannon live her?” Anne questioned. “Maybe Shannon is invading my mind, but you want to know why? You want to know why Shannon has such influence on me? Because she has been here for me, for the past 5 years of my life. She is my most loyal friend. Even when our mutual hated me, she stayed. Unlike you, who loves his work over his own fucking kids.”

Her father was about to speak but then Anne’s brother came to her side and spoke.

“We aren’t your fucking kids!” Dan yelled. “You left when I was 16, but Anne was 11! What do you expect when you live your almost teenager daughter and come back when she is almost a adult!”

“We aren’t your perfect kids that you can bring to work lunches and claim its family bonding or that we are a tight family. You left when I was 9! Without you, I left alone and unwanted, and in turn I am what you call weak. Maybe if you were here, you could have raised us the way you wanted us to turn out!”

“I am fucking 17 dad!” Anne yelled, and he turned. “My 18th is in a month and half! And you want to take me to a fancy dinner to meet your girlfriend which you are leaving mummy for? I was a child when you left! And now you return and I’m almost a adult...”

More tears ran from Anne’s eyes, but all five of them glared up at her father. He was not welcomed. Anne wiped her checks and tied up her hair and started to braid it. No one spoke when she did that, her father was trying to find words and everyone there was getting ready for what he would say. When Anne finished, she reached for her back pocket and pulled out her pocket knife. 

“Why does it hurt to love you, daddy?” Anne said, looking at herself with the knife. “It causes me so much pain to love you, because you end up breaking my heart. Why does it hurt to know you hate me this much...”

His voice was soft. “Anne, I don’t hate you.”

“I’ll let you down one more time; I am not your daughter and I will not meet your girlfriend!” She looked up at him. She brought the knife to her stomach “The thing is, daddy, if I killed myself, you wouldn’t care or notice. You probably wouldn’t notice if anything changed about me unless I did it in front of you. That’s why it hurts to love you, because you don’t actually love me, do you?”

“Anne, I do love you, I am your fathe-”

“I am not your daughter!” Anne yelled. 

Anne held onto the end of her hair and pulled it straight up into the air. 

“I disown you as my father! And to prove that, I will change the one thing about me that has stayed the same since I was 2!”

Anne brought the life to the back of her head, where she tied off her hair.

“I refuse to ever, EVER, be your daughter ever again!”

Anne cut off her hair, glaring up at her father. 

“You are not my father, Mister.”

Anne dropped the knife and handed over her braided hair to her father. 

“This is what is left of your daughter, you can bring THAT to your fancy dinner.” Anne said with a stone cold voice. The fear in her father’s eyes pleased her. “Now, get off my land.”

The teens stood there, in front of house. Mister Pamgkrth stood there with his daughter hair in his hand. 

“I hope you are pleased with yourself...” He said in a sad voice. 

He turned around and got into his car. The teens did not move until he drove away, and they couldn’t see his car anymore.

Shannon rested her head onto Anne’s shoulder. “You did what needed to be done. It’s going to hurt, but you have been sadder with him.”

“You know what’s worse?” Anne asked.

“What?” James asked.

“I’m not sad he will never return, because I just... Never thought he would. I’m sad that he believed he stood a chance to change our minds about her.”

“What was her name anyway?” Shannon asked.

“His girlfriend? We don’t even know.” Dan replied. “And maybe, that’s for the best. She didn’t get a chance even by name to be our new mum.”

“No one can replace mummy.” Anne said with a smile. “She is going to be pissed about the hair.

All four of them laughed, and headed back inside.

[leejeongz]

Stray kids ideal types *my opinion*

*the gifs are p irrelevant* I JUST GOTTA SAY FIRST OF ALL THIS IS COMPLETELY ALL MY OPINION AND COULD ALL BE A PILE OF SHITTY DRIBBLE SO DONT THINK TOO MUCH INTO IT!!

Bang Chan:

He probably wouldn’t care for looks, maybe finding less stereotypical things attractive, such as you being taller than him. He’d want someone with a complex mind, someone who he can explore and not get bored of after finding everything out about them in 1 chat. Not gonna lie I see him more with someone who’s not Korean but who knows?? Someone understanding and someone willing to comprise, that would be a big one for Chris. To him it’s important for the pair of you to make time for each other but also have time apart, to have time to work separately. But also someone fun, someone willing to go on a spontaneous adventure, but at the same time someone who’s down to chill, to listen to music with him and someone for him to feel at home in comfortable silence with.

He probably likes people who are usually quite shy but not to the point where they don’t talk to anyone. The type to talk to old ladies on the bus but never initiating the conversation even if they want to. The type who, at school, sat near to the front and got on well with the teacher because they never did anything wrong.

Woojin:

The duality king himself probably wants someone just like that. Classy but cute, sexy but charming. Can switch it up just like that: adaptable I guess. Someone who is quiet but pretty “normal.” I feel he’d like someone who can also sing, professionally or not. Perhaps this is just from his position within the group but I believe he’d want someone to look after, someone to not necessarily baby but someone he can be “the man” with. He’d probably prefer someone smaller than him for that reason, perhaps just a few inches smaller. He’d love someone intelligent, like school smart not street smart. Someone who listens well and someone who, on a whole, is heartwarming.

I think he’d like someone with brown eyes and naturally dark hair that goes past the shoulders. Straight or curly hair he doesn’t care. Someone who takes care of their appearance and does simple things like paint their nails or ware a watch, just to change things up and not just be a plain Jane.

Lee Know:

First of all someone who can eat, like he wants someone that loves their food I think. Great fashion sense is a must, possibly more of a classier and rich taste than anything else. Someone who looks clean and tidy on the week days, but when it’s just you and him, messy hair and leggings are perfect. Probably want someone to keep him on his toes, their personality filled with fire and sass, but also sometimes being soft too. He’s the type of guy to want to have a best friend type of s/o, someone he can laugh and joke with as well as cuddle up with. He’s probably really picky about appearance, or so he says, definitely someone who thinks that if he isn’t physically attracted to you that there’s no point (until he learns 🥴.)

He’s definitely the type who goes for people with a good sense of humour. Without that you’re pretty much dead to him let be real. He wants someone who he can tease but also someone who’s confident enough to tease him back, someone who’s sure of themselves and isn’t particularly insecure about a lot of things. He’d find it real hot if you could just be like “bitch I know I’m fabulous step tf aside”

Changbin:

Trying to avoid the cliche cute because to me I feel like he might want someone more like his “dark side.” But nevertheless he’s probably want someone cute behind closed doors, only for him. He’d be so damn attracted to someone giving off cold vibes, he lives for the chase. Effortlessly fashionable, someone who throws on a hoodie and some pants/ a skirt and look fucking amazing. I still think he’d want someone younger, a mature person who could still take care of him in the same way that he could take care of you. I feel like someone who was unique in their sense of humour (like Minho) would be great for Changbin, it would drive him crazy not knowing the next thing to come out of your mouth or why you are laughing to yourself.

He’s probably attracted to people who are willing to know everything about him, who are willing to learn new things for him because he is for you. Someone who likes him and no one else, he wants you for himself and hopes you feel the same about him.

Hyunjin:

I was going to say someone who is the perfect combination of looks and personality but that’s not to say Hyunjin cares about looks. He actually probably cares minimally for looks, definitely more attracted to someone’s personality. Saying that, I think he’d want someone who was cute but that’s it. He’d probably want someone who’s bright and bubbly, someone who’s humour isn’t dark but instead fun and upbeat. Someone who loves dogs!!! Not the most important thing but he’d want someone confident when talking to others. He’d want someone who’s a good listener, someone who gives good advice and can keep secrets. Someone who likes him for him, not just his looks or whatever.

He probably likes people who have a lot of quirky, well hidden secrets, the mysterious type even though they have a lot of friends. He’d love to be the guy to know everything about you, stuff that other people don’t know. Someone who will make him feel just special as he makes you.

Han:

Definitely someone who’s bubbly. Like maybe they’re quiet with other people but they unleash their real personality only with him. Younger or older, he doesn’t care but he wants pet names to be involved that match the age. I feel like height wouldn’t matter either. He’d probably want someone who lives life on the edge, someone who takes risks and doesn’t have many fears (unlike him lmao.) He’d probably find it cute if you read or do puzzles or write!!! Or just generally passionate about something he could potentially have an interest in. Someone he could help with work and someone who would help him with work respectively. He’d like someone cool, someone that knows they are cool and that other people know as “the cool kid.”

This might sound odd but I feel like he’d be attracted to people who like junk food. Someone who doesn’t care for diets or healthy eating but will still join him at the gym to both burn off some of what you just put on at the pizza place, you know? Probably finds it cute if you like weird food combinations like milkshake and fries or curry and cheese or something like that.

Felix:

I feel like Felix would want someone who’s in touch with their emotions, someone he can look after while they tell him all what’s wrong, as a sign of trust. Someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously too, will laugh if they fall or do something embarrassing. Also a little bit of a dare devil, would do something like bungee jumping with him, but they’ll beg to go first. Probably someone a little disorganised but still someone who knows what they want. I feel like he’d go for someone shorter with a younger-looking face. I also feel he’d be happier with someone who could speak English with him, but if you spoke another language he’d find that real cute.

Felix would love it if you could pull off just simply a pair of shorts, a tee and flip flops or something summery like that. Also graphic tees. I feel like he’d want someone with short blonde hair maybe whose face always looks pure and natural. Someone who’s colourful and bright and isn’t afraid to experiment with the colour of their clothes or even their hair sometimes.

Seungmin:

It might be a weird thing to say but I feel seungmin would want someone that didn’t care for fashion or football or the social norm or whatever. He’d want someone that’s their own individual person, a interesting character built inside of a magnificent work of art. Someone clever would suit Seungmin well, the type of person that does really well on tests because they care and because they revise. He’d probably want to get to know someone well before dating them too, as well as the other person having an in depth understanding of him too. Maybe someone open to knew ideas, someone who’s not narrow minded and someone who can speak their mind while having respect for everyone.

Someone who takes pride in themselves I think Seungmin would like, someone who always tries and doesn’t give up on their ideas. Probably someone with a mature sense of humour, someone that rolls their eyes at dad jokes, unless it’s Seungmin who says it. Possibly someone who’s good with kids.

I.N:

Jeongin is the type to fall for the class clown. Someone that constantly keeps him smiling and is the easy target for his meaningless teasing and joking. I actually think he’d want someone older, but only like a year maybe. He’d love if you were free spirit and lived without a care in the world for anything other than for that that meant the most to you. Probably likes it when people are close with their family and their friends, not particularly popular, not partying at night and being around lots of people all the time but actually respecting their close circle and not really moving out of it. Someone with pretty hands?? Much like his own, I feel he’d want someone with a pretty smile, possibly with braces but that’s no biggie of course. Someone who looks clean but not necessarily put together, baggy dungarees and a sweater are his favourite look.

He probably likes someone who quiet immature and finds the most ridiculous things funny but wouldn’t draw attention to themselves when laughing at it. Probably loves seeing you laughing with your friends or trying to hold in your laugh when someone falls. Also someone who plays games, console like him.

Gifs aren’t mine

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Was It A Mistake?

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester, Leviathan!Dean

Word Count: 2,077

Warnings: angst

Summary: You and Dean are broken up so why is he at your house saying these things that bring back your true feelings for him?

Squared Filled: Leviathan!Dean

Author’s Note: This is for @spndarkbingo and this is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

When you saw the former love of your life standing at your front door, you were really confused. Yes, you and Dean were still friends after everything that happened, but you agreed to be separated unless one of you needed the other one. Usually, he would call in case you were busy with a hunt or had company over, so that is why you were confused. It’s been a while since you last saw him, but he still looks as handsome as ever. It’s been almost three years since you last saw him and only one since you last talked to him.

Your relationship with him was a messy one. Before you two became a thing, you were inseparable. There wasn’t anything you two didn’t do together. Sam thought it was cute how you two depended on each other for literally everything. The emotional attractiveness is what came first before the physical one. Sure, he was handsome as hell, but that wasn’t the reason why you loved him so much. It was because of his personality that roped you in.

You two started dating shortly after the first time you two saw each other naked on accident. There was one of those doors that separate your room and his room, and he was the one that came barging in butt naked. Your relationship in the beginning was perfect. You two were at the stage where you couldn’t keep your hands off each other no matter what. It got on Sam’s nerves a lot, but he was glad his brother was happy.

It was only until six months in the relationship things started going south. You two argued on every little topic, there couldn’t seem to be a middle ground with the two of you. Late nights turned into even longer ones because you two couldn’t sleep in the same bed as each other. You two never cheated on one another while you were dating, but the relationship had to end if either one of you wanted to be happy.

It puzzled you as to why things started going south so early. When it came to hunts, you argued about what kind of plan to put into action. When you were at the grocery store, it was what kind of pie to buy. When it was organizing the storage room, it was what kind of system to have down there. Nothing seemed to please the two of you until you finally figured out what truly went wrong.

You two were too much alike.

It would explain almost everything that went wrong. You two were natural born leaders, you two didn’t play well with others, you both liked being the alpha in the house, etc. Your personalities were so much alike that it was hard to live with someone like you. That’s why they say opposites attract because it’s nice to get away from yourself once in a while. If anything, you would most likely be compatible with Sam, but you didn't want to go down that road. Dean was still a good friend since you two decided that’s what you two were ever going to be.

Since hunting proved to be difficult, you thought going your separate ways would be best and only hunting together if you absolutely needed someone. Since he didn’t call before hand, you wondered why he was standing at your doorstep with a flirty smirk on his face. If he thought he could come to your house at night just for a booty call, then he has another thing going for him.

“Dean, what are you doing here?”

“What, I can’t see my best friend? Is that a crime?”

“No, it’s not. It’s not like you to just stop by.”

“Well, I was in the area and thought, ‘why not’?”

“So, where’s Sam?”

“He’s not here. He met some nice lady at the bar and decided to go home with her instead,” he chuckled. “You know my brother.”

“Apparently I don’t,” you muttered. The weird thing about this was Sam wasn’t the type to go in bars and pick up women. That was more Dean’s style. “Come in.”

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he smiled before stepping inside your home. Shutting the door behind him, you guided him to the kitchen before taking out two cups.

“Whiskey or Bourbon?” you asked as you opened up your alcohol cabinet.

“Actually I’ll have some water,” he cleared his throat. Swiftly turning around, you knew it wasn’t like Dean to turn down free alcohol. What has gotten into him? Why was he acting like this? You knew Dean better than his own brother, but you decided to keep your mouth shut about this. Maybe he was going through something and needed to vent. Again, he usually did that with alcohol.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I want to be sober. I want to remember you like how you are now,” he grinned. Was he flirting with you?

“Are you flirting with me, Dean?” you asked as you handed him a bottle of water.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“You haven’t flirted with me since we were going out. I thought we agreed to just stay friends.”

“We did and we are. I can’t flirt a little bit?”

“Dean, what’s going on? Is there something you want to talk about?” you asked as you took a seat at the kitchen table.

“Okay, you caught me,” he sighed. “There is something that’s been bothering me and I really just want to get my feelings out.”

“So talk,” you encouraged him even though you were highly suspicious of him. You’ve dealt with many shapeshifters in the past, and since Dean wasn’t acting like Dean, you thought you might put him to the test. Getting up just as Dean began to speak, you walked to the fridge and pulled out the last of your cherry pie. Grabbing one of your silver forks, you set the plate and utensil down in front of him. Without stopping, he picked up the fork and began eating the pie. Okay, so he’s not a shapeshifter, but there is definitely something wrong with him.

Ever since he arrived, he’s been flirting with you non-stop. He’s even had the nerve to touch you on your thigh before you scooted away from him. Sure, you would love to hit that up, but it would only complicate things. Plus, it would only confuse your feelings. When you two broke up, you agreed to be friends, but that didn’t mean you stopped loving him. The years you’ve spent apart made you realize that no other man would be enough for you.

You and Dean had your fights, but he understood you like no other. He knew what you wanted even without having to voice it. There were a lot of bad times, but the good times were just amazing. Seeing him here made those thoughts and feelings to come rushing back, but you knew nothing would come of it since he made it clear he didn’t want to be with you.

So why was he acting like this?

“I still love you,” he blurted out. Whipping your head to face him, your eyes were wide.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, we had our differences, but what couple doesn’t? We had a lot of good times, and I’m sorry that I broke up with you, but I guess I didn’t realize what I had until I lost it,” he confessed. Hearing him say these things was amazing, but you broke things off, not him. This wasn’t Dean. But then who was it?

“Do you want to stay the night? I have some of your clothes still in my room if you want to change,” you smiled, not giving away anything suspicious.

“Sure,” he grinned before getting up. He touched your hand as he left. As soon as he was in the bedroom, you pulled out your phone and dialed Dean’s number by heart. As the phone rang, you kind of hoped he would emerge from your bedroom and ask why you were calling him if he was already over.

“Hey, I was just about to call you,” Dean said over the line.

“You were?” you asked with a whisper as your blood ran cold.

“Yeah, look, we have something here that's close to the Bunker, and Sam is being a bitch and whining about how we should call you. What do you say? Can you come over?”

“You’re at the Bunker right now?” you asked in a panic.

“Sweetheart what’s wrong?” he asked, immediately on alert by your tone.

“Dean, there is something here that looks like you--” you spoke fast before you got interrupted by the phone being ripped from your fingers. Dean listened in horror as you screamed before the line went dead.

“Sam! We got to go!” he exclaimed as he grabbed his jacket and keys.

“What the hell are you?” you gasped as you backed up as he approached you.

“Just one of the oldest monsters in creation, and my boss will be so pleased once Sam and Dean arrive for you,” he laughed as you backed into a corner. Looking around you for a weapon of some kind, you grabbed the one thing that was within reach and stabbed it into his chest. However, all he did was laugh as he pulled it out.

“Try again, sweetheart,” he said before pouncing on you.

“Y/N!” Dean yelled as he threw your front door open. Him and his brother ran in with the weapons that he knew would kill the Leviathan that was impersonating him. Sam had Borax in his hands while Dean held a machete as he swept your house.

“Dean!” you screamed from your bedroom. Both brothers ran up the stairs and busted into your room to see Levithan!Dean grinning as he licked your blood from his fingers. He had made a little slice on your arm just to taste your blood. He had to tie you down in order to have his way with you which is why you couldn’t do anything about it.

“She’s delicious,” he laughed.

“Let her go you son of a bitch!”

“Oh, I never wanted her. It’s you two that I want, and she hand delivered you two to me,” he grinned.

“Great you got us, now let her go,” Dean growled.

“Now that I think about it, a quick snack wouldn’t do any harm,” he grinned evilly as he tipped his head back and opened his powerful jaw. Razor sharp teeth protruded from his jaw as well as a long and slimy tongue. Your eyes widened in fear, and Sam threw the soap at the monster. The leviathan screamed in pain, and Dean rushed at him with the machete. Once he got close enough, he swung it at the neck, watching as the head dropped to the ground. Screaming in shock, the body fell to the ground as Dean quickly picked up the head to keep it separate it from the body.

“Give me it,” Sam said as he took the head. Once his hands were free, Dean rushed to you before untying you.

“Thank God,” you whispered before going into his arms.

“Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?” he asked as he checked you or injuries.

“Beside the small cut on my arm, no. All he did was talk and talk and talk. He was nothing like you,” you sighed as Sam left the room to take care of the head.

“How did you know it wasn’t me?” he asked as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Because he said he loved me, and that he wanted me back. He flirted with me and didn’t want alcohol, but I could have passed those off as maybe you being tired or something, but when he said those words, I knew it couldn’t have been you,” you sighed.

Dean could do nothing but stare at you because he was in shock. These last few years have not been kind to him because he was still in love with you. He just never pursued anything with you because you didn’t feel the same way about him. You broke up with him, so he left it alone. Hearing the tone in your voice implies that you were sad that it hadn’t been him that said those words, but that can’t be it, can it?

Was breaking up a mistake?

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[arsonforcharlie]

Get to know me uncomfortably well: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100

jesus christ

put under a cut because i want to make absolutely sure nobody reads this massive amount of information and also did you ask for EVERY NUMBER EXCEPT 69

1. What is you middle name?

marie

2. How old are you?

28

3. When is your birthday?

november 9 and i bet you didn’t even get me a present, you absolute monster

4. What is your zodiac sign?

scorpio

5. What is your favorite color?

i like jewel tones in general, my fave right now is dark green

6. What’s your lucky number?

i don’t really have one, tbh

7. Do you have any pets?

i do not, unfortunately. i hope to at some point soonish but a lot of that is gonna depend on how my situation shakes out

8. Where are you from?

st. john’s, newfoundland

9. How tall are you?

5′4″

10. What shoe size are you?

9

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

i’m not getting up but like 7? i need to get a new pair for working in and i will be getting rid of the ones i don’t wear so that number is in flux

already answered 12

13. What talents do you have?

none, really. but i’m alright at knitting and generally, like, figuring out how physical objects work and go together. my friends also tens to enjoy the games i run so that’s nice.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

bitch read my mind and find out

15. Favorite song?

i cannot express how impossible it is for me to pick ONE FUCKING SONG that’s my favorite. here’s 5 i always go back to, though!

my tyrant- felix hagan and the family

northbound- grace petrie

staring at the sun- mika

too much- carly rae jepsen

vampire money- my chemical romance

already answered 16

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

well there’s the mushy option in which i name names, but i resolutely refuse to do that since i’ve been informed nobody cares about how queer i am. but generally, i tend towards people i can feel comfortable around. despite me being a huge slut for interacting with people, there’s very few that project the kind of atmosphere that lets me really just chill and start thinking about trusting them.

18. Do you want children?

jesus no don’t put me in charge of a child

19. Do you want a church wedding?

jesus no, even the wedding part of that sounds less than ideal

20. Are you religious?

lmao nah

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yeah, a few times

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

well i have a background check going through right now that’ll answer that for me but i think i have not ever been caught for my many crimes

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

a few- i met russell crowe on a set once, and there’s a good few smaller time canadians i’ve met just, like, around

24. Baths or showers?

i usually go for showers because i am living in a place with an insufficient bathtub setup, but i have been known to enjoy a nice bath now and again

25. What color socks are you wearing?

bold of you to assume i put on socks when i’m not going out

26. Have you ever been famous?

bitch i’m famous now everyone else just doesn’t know it yet

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

probably not, i like the act of grocery shopping and going to shitty bars and disappearing, and i couldn’t do that if i was a proper celebrity

28. What type of music do you like?

loud and i can imagine myself being in a cool music video when i walk places listening to it

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

well yeah obv

already answered 30

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

usually on my side curled up around something, either a person if i’m lucky or a pillow

32. How big is your house?

the apartment is not big enough atm

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i don’t usually eat breakfast at all tbh

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

no but i have held one once

35. Have you ever tried archery?

once in high school gym class. i did...... bad

36. Favorite clean word?

i like words that describe the way dragonfly wings look. diaphenous and iridescent and things.

37. Favorite swear word?

i’ve always been a fan of a good solid fuck, and you can quote me on that

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

two days, i think?

39. Do you have any scars?

yep

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

yeah but they were prolly goofing

41. Are you a good liar?

not under most circumstances

42. Are you a good judge of character?

no, but not in the usual way. i tend to assume people have a lot more hidden motives than they do. like, obviously you don’t want to be FRIENDS with me, you just are PRETENDING for SOME REASON

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

yeah, as a matter of fact, i can do them ALL AT ONCE

44. Do you have a strong accent?

most of the time no, but when i’m talking to people with a strong accent from back home mine slips back

already answered 45

46. What is your personality type?

while i rarely get consistent answers, i just took the myers-briggs again and got enfp so there’s something

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

i don’t own much that’s super expensive tbh, i’m broke as shit. my boots cost like 60 bucks and i stressed about that for ages

48. Can you curl your tongue?

yeah, i can do a lot with it

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

right

51. Are you scared of spiders?

nah

52. Favorite food?

there’s so much food i love! i do have dumplings i am excited to eat tho

53. Favorite foreign food?

again, there’s so much! i am really craving a good currry today i guess?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

a bit messy, especially with stuff that isn’t, like, a hygenic risk. if things are just out of place i don’t tend to register that as the same level of unclean as, like, food messes

55. Most used phrased?56. Most used word?

these two are ones my friends could probably answer more reliably than me. i do say i’m not a doctor tho

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

not long, unless i’ve decided it’s a makeup day and i want to do something dumb and fancy

58. Do you have much of an ego?

i talk a big game, but not really, i’m pretty down on myself a lot

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

succ

60. Do you talk to yourself?

mmhmm- specifically, rehearsing conversations that will never happen

61. Do you sing to yourself?

sometimes, when i’m in a good mood

62. Are you a good singer?

absolutely not

63. Biggest Fear?

there’s a few, but i’d say the biggest one i’ve had the longest is a loss of identity of some sort. like, just not recognizing the people around me, that sort of thing. it’s gotten a bit intense recently due to events but yeah

64. Are you a gossip?

not really- like, i will gladly listen to your drama but i only really talk about it to other people if it actually affects me

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

oof jesus, i tend to watch more shitty horror movies than anything else bc i’m hot trash

66. Do you like long or short hair?

both are fine on other people, but short hair is way better for me

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

just did a quiz and only got 40. i didn’t even remember all the ones i had been to so that’s cool. you guys have too many states anyway

68. Favorite school subject?

i was your standard weird queer kid who imprinted on my english teachers

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

nah

71. What makes you nervous?

so many things tbh

72. Are you scared of the dark?

nope

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends on the person and the mistake, really.

74. Are you ticklish?

fuck off

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i don’t think so?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

i’m a dungeon master, does that counts

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeop

78. Have you ever done drugs?

yeop

79. Who was your first real crush?

my best friend in elementary school. i wanted her and i to get married to brothers so that we could live next door to each other and have sleepovers every night because i really liked sleeping next to her and doing her hair

hoo boy baby bobbie (i even knew lesbians as a kid! i grew up in such an accepting family! i have no excuse for being so repressed)

80. How many piercings do you have?

just one ear

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

not competently

82. How fast can you type?

pretty fast- i did take a test recently that came back at 68 wpm so my goal is now to get one word faster

83. How fast can you run?

fuck running

84. What color is your hair?

black with green bits, i post a lot of selfies, you know that

85. What color is your eyes?

grayish blue

86. What are you allergic to?

nothing that i know of. undefeated

87. Do you keep a journal?

i post on tumblr a lot

88. What do your parents do?

my mom works in communications- she used to work in politics but now she works for a non-profit because the staff of the party she worked for was, in her words, a “sack of vipers”

my dad was a journalist and a photographer. he was the editor for the paper back home for a long time, and then after that he did a lot of advocacy work for MS. he ran for office a few times. you know, like you do.

89. Do you like your age?

it’s alright. like, i got troubles but i accept that none of that is because i’m 28 and mostly just because i got myself into a dumb situation

90. What makes you angry?

mostly when people don’t seem to care about how their actions affect others. like, i can almost accept malice easier than a profit motive

91. Do you like your own name?

it’s not bad, and i haven’t really hit on any that i like more than bobbie

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

lmao nope

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i want the child to be born to someone who is not me

94. What are you strengths?

not very many tbh i kinda suck as a human person. i am pretty good at compartmentalizing and staying kinda functional when shit goes down

95. What are your weaknesses?

all of them. specifically, i’m hard to motivate and i got depression

96. How did you get your name?

i was named after my grandmother

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

i know at least one was a criminal. i do have a kickass family crest and tartan tho

98. Do you have any scars?

they haven’t faded since i answered question 39

99. Color of your bedspread?

there’s a gray one and i have a blue weighted blanket i use sometimes

100. Color of your room?

the whole apartment is beige

[twotwinks]

a thing i was tagged in a long time ago by @rochc93. i am, believe it or not, attempting to catch up on these things. i always intend to do them but it’s either not a good time when i think about them or i’m not thinking about them. sorry i’m a mess

Who were you named after?

First name, nobody bitch. That’s all me. Middle name, like twenty different characters who are important to me but all on accident because I didn’t realize we shared the name until after I’d picked it. Notable instances include Rita Rose Vrataski from Edge of Tomorrow and also Amy Rose (a recent discovery). Last name, Gary King and also because I like confusing people about my gender by deliberately using a “male” title while presenting female (though hopefully not for much longer) and also being nonbinary. (Also s/o to ladies who call themselves king instead of queen. Yes I’m thinking of Kagamine Rin in the WanOpo songs Death Should Not Have Taken Thee and Our Adventure Log Has Vanished.)

Last time you cried?

two weeks ago to the day, when my dad let our dog Koko get hit by a car, things have been Extra Bad around here since then

Do you like your handwriting?

No. When I was little everyone always used to tell me how pretty it was but then I started trying to be a Serious Writer and my penmanship degraded as a result of how fast I had to get the words out of my head. Now my mom whines all the time about how messy and illegible my writing is.

What is your favorite lunch meat?

TURKEY

Longest relationship?

Umm....about two years ago for about three months-ish? I think? Maybe two months? I don’t know, we were dating for Christmas and then I broke up with him right before Valentine’s Day because my mental health couldn’t take it. I realized I was aro shortly after. Who would’ve guessed, huh?

Do you still have your tonsils?

Yep!

Do you bungee jump?

no and i never will

What is your favorite kind of cereal?

Dude this changes like monthly. Sometimes Honey Bunches of Oats. Sometimes Frosted Flakes. Sometimes I get a ridiculously strong craving for Strawberry Awake or Lucky Charms or Honey Nut Cheerios. I just get to eat cereal so infrequently that I can’t really have a favorite, I just have to indulge whatever craving I currently have because I only get the chance to eat one box every three months or so.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Yes because when I was little my mom ingrained into me that not untying my shoes first would ruin the backs of them way faster than they should. In all fairness we were poor and couldn’t afford to buy me new shoes that often because my feet are so sensitive that an actual comfortable pair costs $100.

Do you think you’re strong willed?

oh fuck no i mean have you ever spoken to me??? i’m the biggest baby pushover to ever live

Favorite ice cream?

Either that Death by Chocolate stuff they serve at Purdue’s dining courts sometimes or mint chocolate chip. It has to be green though or it loses something sdkhsdhk

What is the first thing you notice about a person?

Usually like their shirt, I guess? I don’t know, this isn’t something I’ve ever really thought about. Maybe it’s also if they have one of those annoying faces or voices. Or if they have a queer vibe. Look I’m not good with people ok.

Football or baseball?

Football but only because marching band and/or soccer

Favorite doughnut?

Okay this is going to sound weirdly specific but. Chocolate cake donut with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles. Also on a related note I once let a girl in high school copy my homework (that I myself had found the answers to on the internet, it was a really unfair English assignment). She was so happy that she said she’d buy me a donut for breakfast the next day (she made a donut run for herself once a week as a special treat). I gave her my oddly specific request, but since I knew it was kind of a rare donut to find I told her anything chocolate would work. The next day, lo and behold, she showed up with the perfect donut. She had them make it special for me (insert Discord’s pleading face emoji). That was the day I learned my lesson about judging “dumb blondes”.

What music are you listening to?

I’ve been back into Touhou doujin arrangements again lately, especially eurobeat. However I’m also hyperfixating on Sonic the Hedgehog again so the game soundtracks and the Crush 40 albums are starting to show up in my frequent rotation on Spotify.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

The obvious choice is mint green but I could also very easily be a lime green or a glittery ruby slippers red.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

I believe I talked to my grandma a little bit on my mom’s phone not that long ago? Other than that according to my phone it looks like I took a call from my dad back in April?

Hair color?

that real deep almost black brown. i nearly got into a fistfight with some boys in second grade who insisted my hair was black. it’s not black it’s just very thick. it actually looks much lighter if you just separate a smaller chunk and look at it.

Eye color?

Hazel. Brown with some green flecks. Or possibly green with some brown flecks. Also both of my irises look different up close but you can’t tell unless you’re really up in my face.

Favorite food to eat?

pasta but it can’t have red sauce

Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings all the way

Last film you watched in the cinema?

do you really expect me to remember this. i honestly do not fucking know. i have no brain when it comes to movie theaters. i was gonna do a double feature of birds of prey and the sonic movie the tuesday before spring break (cheap prices for students!!!) but i ended up having a headache that day so i couldn’t go and then shit hit the fan and there was no theatergoing. i have tried and failed to get my parents to rent the sonic movie since. i’m very unhappy about it now that i’m hyperfixating again.

What color shirt are you wearing?

well i think it used to be white but it’s really old so now it’s like off-white. also it has a big snake on the back. i don’t even like snakes i just enjoy this shirt.

Favorite holiday?

Christmas!!! I don’t necessarily actually enjoy celebrating the holiday (thanks fam) but I love the idea behind it and the aesthetics. Also it’s peppermint season!

Beer or wine?

Listen I am super picky about alcohol. I haven’t liked any of the wine I’ve tried, but the first two wines I had other people told me it was bad (and then they took me out and bought me alcohol I would actually like because I’d never drank before and apparently getting me tipsy in Ireland over spring break was an Honor for them I literally didn’t pay for a single drink that night) and the third wine I had was paired with the wrong type of food (we couldn’t get the Right wine bottle open). I didn’t really mind the beer I tried in Ireland though, so I guess beer? I really like cider best though, and apparently I can also handle vodka.

Night owl or morning person?

night owl i wish i could be nocturnal

Favorite day of the week?

Friday. It has all the joy and anticipation of the coming weekend without the curse of my dad being home or the responsibility of homework looming over everything.

Favorite animal?

HEDGEHOG yeah i never really got past that from when i was little. but i also just love pretty much all animals. except like. snakes and spiders but sometimes snakes have their moments.

Do you have a pet?

Yeah. We have a lot of “family” pets but I consider Patches (cat) and Gabby (dog) to be Mine Specifically. If my mom hadn’t forced me out of therapy I’d probably be bringing Patches with me to college next year as an emotional support animal.

Where would you like to travel?

Europe babey. I just wanna hang out in France and England and Scotland and also go back to Ireland. I miss Ireland so much y’all.

ok that’s it. that’s all for this one. i’m not tagging anyone because i’m sure it’s already made the rounds among everyone. but if it missed you and you still wanna do it go for it. consider yourself tagged. poof.

[feralhogs]

1-100 TELL ME ALL

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

1. What is you middle name?

Jesse

2. How old are you?

22

3. When is your birthday?

dec 9

4. What is your zodiac sign?

sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color?

purples

6. What’s your lucky number?

9

7. Do you have any pets?

no

8. Where are you from?

bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia

9. How tall are you?

5 something

10. What shoe size are you?

7?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

3 that i actually use

12. What was your last dream about?

i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post

13. What talents do you have?

i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline

14. Are you psychic in any way?

well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there

15. Favorite song?

for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I  took all the colours

16. Favorite movie?

spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much

18. Do you want children?

not RIGHT NOW

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.

20. Are you religious?

yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

i got a parking ticket

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them

24. Baths or showers?

showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

alien socks that are green and black

26. Have you ever been famous?

no. what does that even mean !!!!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them

28. What type of music do you like?

stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

no

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin

32. How big is your house?

BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

HELL no.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.

36. Favorite clean word?

i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.

37. Favorite swear word?

bitch. its really fun to say.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.

39. Do you have any scars?

yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

i believe so...

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents

44. Do you have a strong accent?

i dont know how to answer this

45. What is your favorite accent?

idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them

46. What is your personality type?

that.... INFJ. see. psychic

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

one of the gay jackets

48. Can you curl your tongue?

dont think so

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

left

51. Are you scared of spiders?

depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free

52. Favorite food?

tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish

53. Favorite foreign food?

idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

clean

55. Most used phrased?

“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot

56. Most used word?

I

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min

58. Do you have much of an ego?

i do, but i hide it. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work

61. Do you sing to yourself?

nah

62. Are you a good singer?

no. i can sing and it sound okay.  nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.

63. Biggest Fear?

someone dying, natural disaster, new illness

64. Are you a gossip?

maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those

66. Do you like long or short hair?

BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.

68. Favorite school subject?

ART ART AR T

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introerverte

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

no

71. What makes you nervous?

people who are not Definitely Cheerful

72. Are you scared of the dark?

no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL

74. Are you ticklish?

depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok...... 

77. Have you ever drank underage?

no

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no

79. Who was your first real crush?

someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE

80. How many piercings do you have?

two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im  so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

hell yes

82. How fast can you type?

so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast

83. How fast can you run?

IM VERY FAST

84. What color is your hair?

orange

85. What color is your eyes?

green

86. What are you allergic to?

im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives

87. Do you keep a journal?

yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures

88. What do your parents do?

my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky

89. Do you like your age?

sure

90. What makes you angry?

everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger. 

91. Do you like your own name?

YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

yeah, i want a boy a girl

94. What are you strengths?

my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles

95. What are your weaknesses?

the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea

96. How did you get your name?

i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie  “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school 

98. Do you have any scars?

weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon

99. Color of your bedspread?

pink, white, blue

100. Color of your room?

white

[kingfugue]

swan kingdom part 5-- LZ

I respected Quincy Shankwitz, but I didn’t like her. She was too happy-go-lucky, too messy, too angry at the world. However, since she happened to be my benefactor’s wife, I couldn’t say any of this to her face.

Shankwitz had taken up temporary residence in New London at a rented apartment. My benefactor, she told me, was out for the day, and that she was to be the one who dealt with me. I was not looking forward to this meeting in the slightest because of my failure to kill Eden Perelli. Would she really believe me when I told her I had him, I was inches away from slitting his throat, when he jumped out a window?

There was only one way to find out.

I made my way to the top floor of the Erasmus Street Apartment Complex, discomfort gnawing in the pit of my stomach, and knocked on the door.

“Hang on!” a voice called from inside. Crashing noises rang out, then a crack like a whip, something closing, and finally, Shankwitz answered the door. “Heya, Rat Catcher,” she announced. As I expected, she wore nothing but a bra, matching frilly underwear, and an untied robe.

“Hello.”

“Ooh, you sound grumpy. What’s the matter?”

“I am fine.”

She shrugged and stood aside for me to enter the apartment, which I did. It was unfinished, unsurprising since this was only a temporary residence, but a black couch with a matching table sat against the opposite wall, which I approached. “You really need to find a partner,” she told me.

“I really don’t.”

“Aw, come on. Girls? Boys? Neither? Nobody?” She laughed. “There’s gotta be someone you like, huh?”

“No.”

She flounced over to me. “Nobody?” she teased. “Ha. Fuckin’ liar.”

A sound came from the room to the left, perhaps something thrashing against the sides of a container. Shankwitz rolled her eyes. “Can you keep it down? I’m having a serious conversation!” she yelled. The thrashing subsided. Her playful smile returned. “Alright, I’ll drop it, but I know there’s somebody. I can always tell. I’ve got, like, a sixth sense when it comes to stuff like that. Sit down, want some cake?”

“No thank you.” I sat down calmly on the couch, but in the back of my head, I wondered how she knew about the person I had been thinking about all day.

“Oh, right, you don’t like sweets. What a killjoy. Well, I’m going to have some, and you aren’t stopping me.” She opened a box on the table next to the couch and pulled out a round sponge cake with her bare hand, making me shudder. If she licks the frosting off her fingers, I’m leaving.

“I have some unfortunate news,” I told her.

“Huh? You do?”

“Eden Perelli is still alive.”

In that second, her face contorted from bright and bubbly to sinister and angry. “He’s alive?”

“Yes. I can explain--”

“What the fuck are we paying you for, you stupid bastard? You told us you had a perfect record!”

“I do.”

She put the cake directly on the table and narrowed her eyes at me. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now,” she growled.

“I know where he is.”

Shankwitz raised her eyebrows in interest. “Oh?”

“And I can get to him when the time is right. It won’t be immediate; we will need to be patient. But it can be done.”

“Hm.” Her anger hadn’t completely faded from her face, but at least she didn’t seem like she wanted me dead anymore. Shankwitz sat down next to me. “So where is he?”

Even through my mask, she smelled like candy somehow. I wanted to vomit. “He’s been taken in by a local scientist,” I said.

“Why? Are they fucking?”

“Are they what?”

“Fucking. You know? Oh wait, jesus, you do know what that means, right?”

“I know what that means,” I snapped.

She snickered. “Hey, I wouldn’t be surprised. I don’t think that mask will get you laid anytime soon, unless you’re into some real freaky shit.”

“They are not-- fucking-- as far as I know,” I supplied.

“Uh huh.”

“However--”

“Ooh! Gossip!”

I rolled my eyes. “However, I feel that there is a kind of interest in both parties. Whether it will go anywhere I don’t know.”

She clapped her hands together, frustrations forgotten. “Fun! I can’t wait! Oh, are you going to kill them both? Or torture one and make the other watch? Or fuck one and make the other one watch? Or--”

I sighed. “Miss Shankwitz, I really don’t know why your mind jumps to these conclusions. You know my orders are to keep bystanders out of my mission.”

“Yeah, but it would be fun,” she pouted.

That same thrashing sound came from the bathroom again, accompanied by muffled grunting. “What is that?” I asked.

“My honeybear got him for me,” she said, glancing over to the bathroom, “to keep me company today, but he’s so loud all of a sudden. Might be because you’re here.”

“Him…?”

“I forgot his name. Honeybear said he’s a politician, so it’s all moral and shit.”

“Moral…? What’s moral?”

“You want to see? Come here, I’ll show you. Bet you’ll like it.” Shankwitz stood up and, cautiously, I followed. She opened the door to the bathroom with a flourish.

Blood spattered the walls, floor, and ceiling of the white tiled room. A leather whip, wet with more blood, leaned against the side of the toilet. Something fleshy and red was tied up in the bathtub. “You… are going to clean this up, aren’t you?” I asked.

“You and your cleaning. Sure, I’ll clean it up after I’m done. Don’t want the landlord getting mad at me. But enough about me--” She closed the door and put her hand on her hip-- “what about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. You work for me but I hardly know a thing about you. So come on, tell me about yourself!”

“I’m leaving.”

She leapt forward and seized my arm, and I fought the urge to strangle her. “You’re so mysterious!” she exclaimed. “Let’s sit down and chat until honeybear gets back!”

“When does she get back?”

Shankwitz shrugged. “Dunno, but I’m bored. That dumb politician isn’t as fun as you.”

“I doubt it.”

“Well, he was screaming like a pig a few hours ago, but now he’s so quiet. Boring!” She tugged me back to the couch and used her weight to place me next to her on the cushion. I let out an exasperated sigh. “What’s your name again?” she asked. 

“You know my name.”

“What, like your first name is ‘Rat’ and your last name is ‘Catcher’? Or is your first name ‘The’ and your middle name is ‘Rat’ and--”

“No.”

She batted her chestnut eyes in wordless expectation. At last, I muttered, “Zhou.”

“And first name?”

“I don’t share my first name.”

“Have you forgotten? I’m your boss. I can make you do whatever I want.”

“Your honeybear is my boss.”

Her fingernails dug into my coat. I could feel the little points poking my skin, and I winced, my heart racing as the image of the man in the bathtub flashed in front of my eyes. “Are you questioning my authority, Zhou?” she growled.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I murmured, “and I apologize.”

The cheerfulness returned and my muscles relaxed as she withdrew her claws from my arm. “Good. Then what’s your first name?”

I hesitated, then replied, “Liuyang.”

“Liuyang Zhou. Am I saying that right?”

“Yes.”

“What a nice name. I’ll call you Liuyang from now on.” She knew this was going to bother me. She knew it and she liked it. Bitch. “So, Liuyang, this special someone on your mind… why don’t you tell me about them?”

There was no use lying to her again about it. “This special someone,” I repeated. Special didn’t seem to do my feelings justice. “He--”

“He? Aha!” She released my arm at last and bounced on the cushion.

“It isn’t even serious,” I continued, feeling a blush creep up into my cheeks. “It’s a passing fancy, I know it. And he doesn’t feel the same for me.”

“How do you know?”

I cocked an eyebrow. “Miss Shankwitz, I wear a mask and trench coat. I know.”

“Huh. You have a point.”

“Is that all you needed?” I asked impatiently. “This isn’t pertinent to my mission in the slightest.”

Shankwitz rolled her eyes so hard I was worried her pupils would vanish into her skull. “Listen, Liuyang. I suffer from a chronic case of boredom. I used to live with a group of wandering cannibals. Now that was fun. These days, it’s just my honeybear and me. And don’t get me wrong, I love her, I love her to death, but these periodic murders just aren’t entertaining enough. She’s so protective of me, too, so it’s always, ‘Quincy, you could get caught if you do this’, and, ‘Quincy, let someone else take the fall for that’, and I’m cooped up with nothing to do!”

“She cares about you.”

“Oh, I know she does, the sweetheart. It’s just-- well, you wouldn’t understand. Like you told us when we met you, you work best alone.”

“Correct.”

“Well, I don’t. We’ve been together for years and I couldn’t do it without her. But my point is--” she threw up her hands in the air in dramatic fashion-- “I’m deathly bored. So do me a favor and give me some entertainment, huh?”

Shankwitz was as immature as a child. I bit my lip to hold my retort back and nodded instead. “Then… what is it you’d like to know?”

“What’s he like?”

“Er…” What a vague question. The least she could do was to be specific with her demands. “You want to know… a description of his physical appearance?”

“No, I mean, why do you like him so much? What puts him above everyone else?”

Above everyone else? An interesting question. Even I wasn’t sure I knew the answer to this, as I had never taken such a fascination in someone before now. My job remained a priority in my life. But now? Why, now, had my heart been tugged in such an unexpected direction? “I have never met another like him,” I answered simply.

“Is that all?”

“His character is one I would give my right arm to study more closely. In short, he is so different from me, I feel incomplete knowing I may never understand his motives.”

Shankwitz blinked a few times. I could tell this was confusing more than helping her. By the stars, I really had to spell this out for her. “He’s very hot,” I added.

“Oh! Why didn’t you say so earlier?”

There we go.

“You need to ask him out. Or-- no, wait, are you friends?”

“No, we aren’t.”

“Ask him out to something casual. A nice little hunt for an IR. That way, you can impress him, make some money, and have fun at the same time!”

I chuckled. “He would hate that.”

“No, you’re just bad at this,” she pouted. “Oh, and you’ve got to ditch the mask. It’ll scare him away.”

“I use this mask to breathe in the contaminated city air, Miss Shankwitz, I can’t very well take it off.”

“But--”

The sound of keys turning in the lock at the door cut her off. Shankwitz gasped and leapt up from the couch to run to the door almost as soon as it opened to throw her arms around the person who entered. “I missed you!” she exclaimed.

The person wore a red mask painted with the design of the biblical Lucifer’s face on it. Unlike mine, this mask served no medical purpose, as there were simply two eye holes and a string around the head to hold it in place. The person removed the mask in the hand that wasn’t massaging Shankwitz’s head. “I’m sorry that took so long,” she said, shaking her auburn hair out. “Oh, hello, Rat Catcher. You’re still here?”

“I’m afraid so. Our meeting ran… long.”

“Long? Do you mean to tell me that there were some complications?”

I fidgeted in my seat. If Shankwitz was so angry with me, I could hardly imagine how my boss, the one who ordered the attack in the first place, would react. Well, I might as well cut to the chase. “He isn’t dead,” I announced to the room, loud to mask my anxiety, “but I have him where I want him, and I just need time.”

She pried Shankwitz away and approached me. Her red turtleneck sweater, skinny black jeans, and black leather boots, further invoked the image of the Christian devil in my mind. I avoided her fierce grey eyes and instead examined the wood floor. “He isn’t dead,” she clarified.

“No. I’m sorry. The problem will be rectified.”

A terrible silence gripped my throat like a skeletal hand. “I will give you one week,” she said, “and one week only. If you fail, I will take your life in place of his until I find someone new. Are we clear, Rat Catcher?”

“Yes, Miss Perelli,” I murmured.

“Good. Now get out of my apartment.”

“Yes, they clash with the decor,” Shankwitz chimed in.

I stood up. “Thank you for your patience. I have never failed a client and I won’t fail you.”

“We’ll see,” she mused.

Not wanting to linger, I strode across the room, giving the couple a wide berth, and closed the door behind me.

[viviansternwood]

Thank you for tagging me @raven-reyes-of-sunshine! <3 Tagging: @clxrkeblxke, @hedaalicia, @maddigriffin, @clarkgriffon, @clarkegriffintitties

1. What is your nickname? Kat

2. How old are you? 21

3. What is your birth month? may

4. What is your zodiac sign? taurus

5. What is your favorite color? blue

6. What’s your lucky number? 14. Don’t know why lol

7. Do you have any pets? nope :(

8. Where are you from? Southeast of England

9. How tall are you? 5′ 10″

10. What shoe size are you? 7/8

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? probably a hundred lol, I have a problem

12. Are you random? for sure

13. Last person you texted? a friend telling her I left the key in the pigeon hole for her, long story

14. Are you psychic in any way? not really, apart from that thing where you get a bad feeling about a particular person and it ends up being true

15. Last TV show watched? Love Island. I know it’s trash, don’t hate me!

16. Favorite movie? The Breakfast Club, always and forever

17. Favorite show from your childhood? I used to watch iCarly religiously

18. Do you want children? definitely

19. Do you want a church wedding? yes!

20. What is your religion? I’m Catholic 

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yep, had my appendix removed when I was 10, and then summer before last I had another surgery which, for the life of me, I can’t remember the name of

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? of course not i’m a lawyer lol

23. How is life? stressful but good (literally copying Elyse’s answer because it’s spot on)

24. Baths or showers? showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? white with frilly bits on top

26. Have you ever been famous? nah

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? definitely not. Too much work.

28. What type of music do you like? top chart would describe it best really

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? no, but maybe in the future lol

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? always two

31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my side

32. How big is your house? three bedroom and two bathroom house, I live with my mum and my sister

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I always eat porridge

34. Have you ever left the country? Yes, been to quite a few countries in Europe and to the US

35. Have you ever tried archery? nope

36. Do you like anyone? nope

37. Favorite swear word? shoot (I don’t swear out loud, just in text lol)

38. When do you fall asleep? definitely after midnight

39. Do you have any scars? quite a few scars on my knees because I was the most active kid in the world, a scar from when my appendix was removed, and I think that’s it?

40. Sexual orientation? straight

41. Are you a good liar? I can be, but my sister can always tell when I’m lying

42. What languages would you like to learn? Spanish and Italian. Would love to.

43. Top 10 songs? they change too often, I’ve literally been listening to Cell Block Tango on repeat for the last few days

44. Do you like your country? I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else really

45. Do you have friends from the web? I have some great friends here! <3

46. What is your personality type? Does this mean MBTI? I’m an ESFP.

47. Hogwarts House? slytherin

48. Can you curl your tongue? yes

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? Jean Louise Finch from Go Set a Watchman.

50. Left or right handed? right

51. Are you scared of spiders? terrified. But I never want to kill them, so I have to do this thing where I get a plastic container and catch the spider, while shitting myself, and let it go outside

52. Favorite food? I really like sandwiches, that’s probably boring but oh well

53. Favorite foreign food? any Asian food really, unless it’s spicy, I can’t handle spicy food

54. Are you a clean or messy person? clean and a neat freak really

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? no clue, i’d probably hate it

56. What color underwear? deep red

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? depends on whether I have to straighten my hair or not, I do it every other day. 30 minutes without straightening, and probably 40-45 with straightening.

58. Do you have much of an ego? not really lol

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? both

60. Do you talk to yourself? sometimes and it’s weird lol

61. Do you sing to yourself? constantly

62. Are you a good singer? yes, I took lessons for like 15 years of my life and my father’s actually a musician! :)

63. Biggest Fears? bees and wasps

64. Are you a gossip? I don’t like to bitch about people, but I like knowing other people’s secrets.

65. Are you a grammar nazi? yep

66. Do you have long or short hair? quite long, down to my boobs

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I always forget three or four, usually Michigan or Delaware or something like that

68. Favorite school subject? english

69. Extrovert or Introvert? extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope

71. What makes you nervous? life?

72. Are you scared of the dark? a little

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? yes i’m a grammar nazi, read above

74. Are you ticklish? only my feet lol

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Nope

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? yes

77. Have you ever drank underage? I was 17 when I got drunk for the first time, it was not fun

78. Have you ever done drugs? nope

79. What do you fantasize about? being able to buy all the books in the world?

80. How many piercings do you have? one in each ear and the navel

81. Can you roll your R’s? I’m a native Russian speaker, naturally I can

82. How fast can you type? so I just did a test, got 95 words per minute, and that was me quite relaxed, so I guess pretty quick? Perks of being a law student, typing my way through life really

83. How fast can you run? i can run fast, but not for long

84. What color is your hair? light brown

85. What color are your eyes? mix of blue and green, it’s a rare but real thing, google it

86. What are you allergic to? not allergic to anything

87. Do you keep a journal? yes but I write in it once a month, if that

88. Are you depressed about anything? exams, but that’s it

89. Do you like your age? I preferred 18/19

90. What makes you angry? injustice, even the smallest kind of injustice has me fuming

91. Do you like your own name? yep

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? maybe like water when I dive or something, I don’t know

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? a boy and a girl because I want two :)

94. What talents do you have? I have weirdly good memory for details, helps me remember quotes easily

95. Sun or moon? sun

96. How did you get your name? my mother’s a history nerd, and she wanted to name me after a Russian Empress, so my full name in Russian would be Yekaterina. I’m Ukrainian, so it changes to Kateryna. 

97. Are you religious? catholic, read above

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? nope

99. Color of your bedspread? mint green

100. Color of your room? light blue

[abovethesmokestacks]

Bonfire Heart (1/2)

Title: Bonfire Heart Pairing: alpha!Hal Carter x omega!reader Characters: Hal Carter, reader, unnamed parents for reader Rating: this chapter is sfw, but the next part will be nsfw Word count: 5.3k

Inspired by an anonymous ask sent to @bucky-plums-barnes. I was fortunate to be allowed to write a fic for it, and I apologize for taking so long, and for getting so carried away it turned into a multipart story. I am a wordy bitch who apparently loves build-up more than anything, sue me. Huge thanks to my weird sisters Brooke, Eris and Kati for input and patiently listening to me bitch and moan through writer’s block and more than a little despair.

It’s a rare occurrence getting drifters passing through the pack. Most often, it’s Betas or Omegas travelling through the pack’s turf, and then it’s only for a night, a few days tops. Even rarer are the Alphas that come through looking for a place to stay for a while. It creates tension, an Alpha stranger most often means a challenger, someone seeking to take over.

Not Hal.

There’s no mistaking his presentation when he arrives, duffel hanging jauntily off his shoulder, his scent pulling at you, begging for you when he passes you by in search of the pack Alpha. It’s intoxicating, warm and woodsy, a bonfire at night. Hidden underneath is an undertone of engine oil, sharp in contrast but perfectly balanced. You almost miss the way his nose twitches, how his eyes flit around before they land on you, the quick smile before being pulled back when your pack alpha calls for his attention.

Later, you hear a few of the other omegas titter about the handsome Alpha, how he’s gonna be staying, helping out, how he’s been offered a place on the outskirts.

“They wanna be sure he doesn’t try anything.”

“He can try me whenever he wants to!”

“You have no shame!”

“As if you wouldn’t present for him!”

It makes jealousy flare up in you, sudden and followed by shame and defeat as you turn on your heel to hurry home. There’s no reason for the sudden spike in your emotions. He’s barely laid eyes on you, and in comparison to the giggling omegas, you’re far from the grand prize. Your parents keep expecting you to find someone, if not a mate, then at least a heat partner, nursing some small hope that an arrangement would spark something more. You tell them you’re fine on your own, the suppressants take the edge off, too self-conscious and scared to voice your fear that maybe you’ll never find anyone.

Coming home, you’re all but equipped with your own personal rain cloud over your head. You’re ready to call it a day, to trudge into your room and torture yourself with silly daydreams. His scent still lingers in your nose, teasing you with scenarios that could easily turn your defeat to desire. You’re surprised to find your father home already, rummaging through the linen closet, picking out towels and sheets.

“Dad?”

“Peanut!” You scrunched your nose at the name, managing to disguise it as a smile. “Didn’t think you’d be home already.”

Of course he didn’t. Nodding to the stack in his arms, you deflect the attention, “What’s going on? Are we having guests over?”

“Sort of,” you father replies, turning back to reach for the stack of pillow cases. “Got a visitor passing through, needed a place to stay, some work. Told the Alpha the boy could stay in our cabin, do a couple of odd jobs for me if he was okay with it. Seemed a decent enough fella.”

Your heart skips a beat. The new Alpha would live in your family’s cabin? It’s a small, modest thing, more of a shack that has been used as everything as an escape for rutting alphas to hunting trips. During your early teenage years, you and your friends would sometimes have sleepovers there, pushing the narrow beds together and build a messy nest that you’d cosy down in and play silly games and tell each other horror stories that had all of you sleeping with one eye open. Now he would be there.

“Peanut?”

“Hmm?” You look up, finding your father looking at you, holding out the stack in his arms.

“I said, would you mind coming with me? No one’s been in that cabin for a while, we might need to fix up a coupla things.”

Come with? Possibly see the handsome Alpha again? Containing your excitement is hard, but you manage a small nod, taking the bedding and the towels to put them in a bag. The cupboard is right outside your bedroom, and when you pull out a suitably-sized bag for the bedding, you see your own bed, made up with all the fluffy pillows and blankets. You worry your lower lip. The cabin has the bare essentials. Small kitchen with a mini fridge. Cots, a couple of scratchy blankets and, in your memory, the lumpiest pillows in existence. Last time you and your friends had gone there, you’d brought your own.

You hesitate only for a second, glancing over your shoulder to make sure the coast is clear before ducking into your room, pulling one of the pillows from your bed and stuffing it in the bottom of the bag, piling on the sheets and pillowcases and towels to hide it, as if you were smuggling forbidden contraband. Your heart thunders when your father calls you from the other end of the house, asking if you’re ready. Clutching the bag tightly, you hurry out, climbing into the pickup, your breath catching when you’re asked to shift to the back of the cab.

“Promised we’d pick him up, can’t have him cramming into that tight space, Peanut,” your father jokes, and it’s all you can do to force a strained chuckle across your lips.

Maybe it won’t be so bad. Your father is there, you will have to restrain yourself. No, it won’t be so bad.

It’s downright horrible.

He’s so amicable, all pleases and thank you’s when he talks to your father, all too happy to show deference to a Beta and follow his lead. His face lights up, or so you imagine, scent mellowing when he spots you in the car, holding out his hand for you to shake when your father introduces you.

“Hal Carter, miss, how do you do? Hope I didn’t put you out too much having you tag along like this.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks as you demurely assure him it’s no trouble, none at all. Mercifully, your father takes charge of the conversation, allowing you to sit back and bask in the Alpha’s pleasant scent, listening to him answer your father’s questions. He’s just passing through, not sure for how long, but he’s real grateful for the roof over his head and the opportunity to help out wherever needed. He hasn’t really got a pack, never did find one where he felt he fit in, he can understand people are being suspicious. The car jostles, a bump in the small road sending you hurtling forward, bracing yourself on Hal’s shoulder. A hand comes up to cover yours, warm and with a steady grasp.

“You all right there, miss?” Hal’s looking at you, worry mixing with curiosity in his blue eyes.

A nod is all you manage, suddenly so close to him, his scent strong in your nostrils even though he clearly tries to tone it down, and suddenly you’re thankful you’ve already had your Heat. If he’s this intoxicating, suppressants might not matter much.

“You okay there, Peanut?” Your father, gods, you don’t know whether to thank him or curse him for making you flinch away from Hal. “Better hold on, you know this road ain’t getting any better.”

Of course you know. You’ve travelled it enough times before, but now there’s a handsome Alpha in the same, confined space who smells delicious and the little cabin can’t come into view fast enough. By the time your father pulls up on the narrow driveway, you’re ready to claw your way out the back window.

“There you have it, son. It’s not much, but should keep you warm.”

He keeps talking to Hal, pointing and telling him just where to find the firewood and the kindling and where to meet up for the logging work tomorrow, all while your nerves are firing you and telling you to either jump out the window or jump Hal. It’s a sweet relief when the doors finally open, letting in a waft of fresh air. Your relief, however, is shortlived. The passenger seat is pulled forward, a tanned hand reaching in to help you out.

“Miss?”

You swallow, a wobbly smile on your lips while you climb out, pulling the bag behind you. Hal, insists on carrying it, despite your protests that it’s neither heavy, nor a nuisance for you. Something sparks low in your stomach when he tells you he wouldn’t be much of an Alpha, even less of a gentleman if he let such a pretty and gracious Omega carry a bag that should rightfully rest on his shoulder.

“I hope you don’t mind being a bit isolated like this,” your father interjects.

It is isolated, almost to the point where you wonder if it’s not excessively so.

“Not that there’s much happening around here, pretty quiet town,” he continues with a little chortle. “I’m sure you could hitch a ride back downtown for the weekends for the bars and dances if that’s your kinda thing…”

“I appreciate the offer, sir. Don’t wanna put you out more than I already have,” Hal replies diplomatically, swaying on the heels of his boots.

“It’s nothing, son, nothing at all.” That’s your father, the typical Beta, a great equalizer. “Now, there is a mini fridge inside, but it’s precious more than something to store drinks and maybe something small. I’ll get you the generator tomorrow so you can fire it up. You’ll get lunch at work, but unless you’re good with a wood burner, there’s not a lot of opportunity to fix an extravagant dinner.”

“As long as I get coffee, I’ll be fine, sir. Maybe I could trouble you to take me into town tomorrow so I can buy myself some food?”

“Oh, of course, of course! You might even find some coffee grounds in there. I’ve got you a coupla jugs of water on the flatbed, should see you through the next few days…”

Your father falls silent, his eyes flicking from Hal to you and back, a smile teasing at the corners of his lips. Hal might miss it, but you know your father. He’s up to something.

“Say, my wife is one helluva cook. Makes the best mac’n’cheese you’ll ever taste. She cooks like it’s going out of style, you’d think we were feeding a whole platoon.”

Oh god.

Hal, bless his heart, hasn’t caught on, but you’re trying to stare panicky daggers at your scheming father.

“We could set aside a decent serving for you, Peanut here could bring it out for you in the afternoons.”

You both break into protest, you because it is so transparent and regardless of your feelings for the Alpha this was just blatantly pushy, and Hal because it would be another imposition. Hearing each other, you then turn to argue against your points, only for the whole thing to end with your father getting his way. Fifteen minutes later you leave, all of the supplies you’d brought unpacked, convinced Hal would be okay for the night.

“Dad…” you sigh, glaring at him and his pleased little smile.

“I did nothing!” He holds up his hands in defeat for a moment, quickly grabbing the wheel again when a bump in the road veers the car to the side. “I just thought you might like each other’s company! He’s a fine young alpha, polite as ever. We’re just being good hosts.”

You grumble under your breath, trying to fight the smug curling in your stomach, your wolf purring in agreement. Such a handsome man, a fine alpha indeed… Clenching your teeth, you push the thoughts away, trying to replace them with your father’s poor excuse. You’re being a good host. It’ll be fine. It’s just taking dinner to him. Five minutes of conversation, if that. You’ll be fine.

You’re not fine. Your knuckles pale as they grip the plastic container of meatloaf, mash and greens. Hal has swung the door open following your timid knock, jeans deliciously low-slung on his hips, a smudged wifebeater hanging from his hand. He is so gloriously Alpha, the scent strong now, a forest fire setting your instincts aflame as you try not to stare at his chiseled torso, the tanned skin and the small patch of hair, barely noticeable against his complexion, leading down and into his jeans.

“Oh, pardon me, miss, I just- It was-“

His eyes darken just a little, and you realize you must be projecting your desire, bringing a dark flush to your cheeks. You’re better than this, you berate yourself, you can keep your feelings in check. Hal swallows thickly, turning around and mumbling to just wait a second. He returns moments later with a clean shirt on, his scent muted once again, but his gaze never meets yours for longer than a fraction. When you hold out his dinner for him, he does his best to avoid touching, fingers gripping along the edges.

“Are… Did you sleep okay?” you flounder, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, desperate to restore some semblance of equilibrium.

Hal nods, offering a little hum in affirmation. The silence is suffocating, making you wish that you’d arrived later, or earlier, or maybe not at all. Mumbling your farewell, you walk back to the truck, feeling your stomach sink with every step. It’s a dreadful heaviness that pulls at every insecurity in you. Why would you ever entertain the thought that you could catch his attention? Why would your father ever think this stupid plan would work? Why would Hal ever look at you the way you want him to? You’re not the kind of Omega who turns heads wherever she goes.

“Miss?”

You’re seated by the wheel when he calls out, and though you want nothing more than to rev the engine and drive off, you can’t resist the pull of his voice, soft and sounding almost remorseful. Hal has followed you, still standing a respectable distance from you with the lid popped on the container. There’s a tentative smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

“Dinner smells delicious.”

Your cheeks heat up again, a silly response to a compliment that isn’t even truly directed at you. Still. It eases the churning glumness, makes breathing easier, your smile almost sincere.

“I’ll be sure to let my mother know.”

You turn the key in the ignition, the truck roaring to life before settling to an idle purr while you shift into reverse and check your sightlines. He moves quickly, one second keeping his distance, the next rushing to the driver side window, the closeness buzzing like a living thing between you.

“Thank you for bringing it out here.” His voice is soft smoke and warmth on a cold night, wrapping itself around your insecurities to hush them down. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

You nod, nostrils flaring as his scent spikes just a touch. Satisfied with your answer, Hal backs away, allowing you to reverse and drive off. Your stomach refuses to settle, your mind replaying his question over and over as you burrow into your nest that night.

Will I see you tomorrow?

You see him again. And again. And again. Each trip into the forest makes the awkwardness of that first dinner delivery slowly dissipate. By the second week, there’s an easy smile gracing his features as he comes to greet you. Conversations starts flowing beyond pleasantries, Hal all too eager to listen to your tales no matter the topic, laughing and asking questions in the right places.

And always,

“You sure I can’t convince you to stay, miss? I swear, your mother must think me an insatiable beast, there’s plenty for both of us.”

Every day, you coyly beg off, sometimes even managing to hide the blush at being asked. Every day, Hal will give a laugh, mumble “more for me then I s’pose” and walk you to the truck. And every day, you imagine your parents looking a little disappointed to see you home so soon.

Some days, when your father tarries, and it means Hal will be back late too, your mother sends you off to leave dinner for the alpha. These days, you bring something extra. It won’t do to leave the food outside, and even though you feel like you’re intruding, you bring the spare key to the cabin, sneaking in to leave dinner in the mini fridge. When he gets home, he’ll find food ready to reheat, and a little something to make up for the missed opportunity to spend time together. Flowers waiting in a tin cup on the small table. A parcel of cookies next to the boxed lunch. A book you had told him about. The first time, you feared he would be upset you had gone into his den without express permission. But then, the next day, he greeted you just as warmly, a daisy from your little bouquet tucked behind his ear.

It’s a strange companionship that you try not to linger on too much. Of course you still think he’s handsome. Your heart still stutters when he opens the door, shirt unbuttoned and all that gorgeous skin on display. Warmth still blooms in your chest every time you feel his light touch on the small of your back when he follows you back to the truck. Your tummy does a flip every time he’ll playfully call you “omega” when you talk.

But if you linger-

If you think about it too much, it starts feeling like courtship. His touches start feeling like they’re aching for more, and you would be all too happy to allow them. Calling you by your presentation will make your stomach swoop, a liquid pull teasing at scenarios you scarcely dare dream about.

You try not to linger, but you can’t deny the fact that you now long for the ride out to the cabin, for the time you get to spend with him. It makes a smug little flame flare in you when you hear other omegas titter and fawn over him, having seen him briefly in town over the weekends and gotten a smile and a polite “hello”. It’s a greedy, possessive monster that never gloats openly, simply feeding your addiction, thinking about how you will see him tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, and the day-

“Sweetheart, why don’t I take dinner duty tonight?”

The suggestion has your head whipping around, the lid for the container dropping from your hands. Your mother’s voice is calm, her body language easy and open where she stands. It still raises your suspicions. For weeks now, they have been all too happy with the arrangement, what’s changed now?

“It’s okay, I can do it,” you reply, keeping your voice neutral. Two can play this game.

“We don’t wanna put you out, darling. Besides, you’ve been driving out there every day for a while now. You deserve a break. A little time to yourself.”

In the end, she is your mother, and well, she’s right. You begrudgingly hand over the container, telling her to send Hal your regards and that you’ll see him tomorrow. Her smile is a bit tight around the edges, a curious thing that you don’t understand until the next day, when you’re once again coaxed into staying home. It’s never said, but you still understand.

You’re not kept home to give you a rest. You’re kept home because Hal has gone into his Rut.

It claws at that raging part of you that has come to crave and love his company. You want to be there, should be there. It throws grand and foolish scenarios at you of sneaking out at night, taking the truck and driving out there, rosetinted dreams of helping him out. It tugs at dreams of being claimed, of not being alone anymore.

It tugs and tugs, never succeeding, tempered by your own self-deprecation and the tension around your mother’s eyes that she almost manages to hide when she gets home. Biting down, you tell yourself it’s only temporary. Your parents don’t want to put you in unnecessary danger. It’ll only be a few more days.

When days turn into a week, you start to worry. Hal should be okay now, his Rut would have ended days ago even if it was a long one. Your nerves spike every day, sinking low into your stomach when your mother once again bids you goodbye and drives off. You can’t help wondering if you’d done something wrong, something to deter him? Should you have defied your parents and still gone out to see him?

You’re so wrapped up in your thoughts that one day you almost miss your mother calling your attention.

“Sweetheart? You better hurry up, or that poor man will starve.”

Furrowing your brow, you look over your shoulder, finding your mother holding out a familiar container. “Mom?”

“I believe he’s expecting you.”

You don’t want to boast, but you’re pretty sure you broke some kind of speeding record driving out to the cabin, only slowing down as you turned onto the narrow trail that led up to it. He’s waiting, and for a moment, the greedy thing insides you turns joyous and elated, wanting to run up to him and jump into his arms and bask in that wonderful smile for days. Reining yourself in feels like pulling at the leash of your wolf, the whining it gives reverberating through you.

Hal doesn’t seem to have the same reservations. He sits down on the small porch, patting the space next to you and scoots in as close as he can when you join him. When he asks you if you would join him, courteous as ever, your resolve crumbles. So used to your polite declines, it takes Hal a few seconds to realize you finally said yes, nearly stumbling over himself to get plates and forks and drinks.

“I’m… sorry for… for last week,” he offers between bites of casserole, eyes seeking out yours.

“It’s okay, I understand.” You keep your gaze on the food, poking it around and trying to stay calm.

“No, I-” The consternated exhale pulls at your curiosity, and you look up in time to see him set down his fork. “I wanted to be sure.”

“Sure? What are you talking about, Hal?”

Without a word, he gets up, enters the cabin only to return a few seconds later with ripped shreds of fabric. Handing it to you, it takes you all of two seconds to recognize the delicate pattern, the faint scent of yourself that still lingered. The pillow you’d hidden away for him.

“It… took a few hits. Your scent, it’s… I thought because I’d seen you so much that it wouldn’t be a problem. I ripped this one the eve of the first day. I came in for my shift only to tell your daddy I would be out for the rest of the week, that it would be best if you didn’t bring me dinner. I missed you so much, omega, thought I’d go mad. I asked your mama to come a few extra days after it ended just to be sure I wouldn’t… that you wouldn’t be hurt.”

Separately, you understand each and every word, but put together, they spell a truth you can’t quite fathom. He wanted you safe, so he made sure that he was completely out of his Rut before asking you to resume your visits. He missed you. He missed you.

“…I’m only sad that we’ll have to do this again soon.”

You’ve missed a large chunk of the conversation, but even so, Hal’s last statement confounds you.

“We will?” Three months isn’t that soon, is it?

Hal gives a shy smile, picking a little at his food. “Yeah, when you- when it’s your time? It’s- Isn’t that… soon?”

He’s adorable when he’s flustered, and you can’t help but flush a little yourself. Speaking about Ruts and Heats isn’t exactly the most polite and obvious of topics, especially between unmated alphas and omegas without a partner arrangement. You pick at your nails, stomach fluttering at the idea of talking about this with him.

“Well, not really…” you begin, noticing Hal furrowing his brow.

“No?” He sniffs discreetly, your pulse racing minutely. “I could swear it’s coming. Is it not for another month?”

You blush in earnest now, the fact that  Hal is trying to determine the exact arrival of your Heat setting a dull ache thudding low in your stomach. He’s looking at you like your scent and your very being is a puzzle to be solved, waiting patiently for your answer.

“It’s…” You bite your lower lip. “It’s not really going to come. Suppressants.”

The penny drops, Hal’s expression softening into quiet realization. “Why? I mean, I know it’s none’a my business, but you… You’re lovely, and- and kind, and I’m frankly amazed you keep coming out to me like this day after day. I’d’ve thought the other alphas here would be tripping all over themselves for your favour.”

“No. No, I…” It doesn’t matter that it’s Hal, that it’s this sweet man sitting next to you, embarrassment still burns through you having to admit this. “I’ve never had a partnered Heat. Thought I was gonna claw myself to death the first time. No one’s ever been tripping over themselves to even ask for a date, let alone… that.”

“Now that’s just a damn shame. I should be so low on your list of priorities because I can’t imagine someone so sweet wouldn’t be otherwise preoccupied most every weekend.” A smile tugged at his mouth, growing until he looked like the embodiment of sunshine. “Though I suppose their loss is my gain.”

“I’m sorry?”

Setting down his fork, he makes a big show of getting up, one arm behind his back, the other held out for you. Your stomach flips at his movements, his scent wafting in towards you when he leans down. What is he-

“I can’t treat you to a fancy restaurant, but if you’ll have me, I’d love to take you out.”

You hate that your first instinct is to turn him down, to wonder who set him up to prank you, to pull away because if he’s asking you out then there can only be one reason why. It sets something bubbling inside you, uneasy and gnawing. He’s handsome, he could have anyone. Discreetly, you draw a slow breath, tasting the air for any sign of lingering Rut scent. Nothing, just the soothing scent you have come to love and long for, fading back ever so slightly.

“I don’t expect anything from ya, scout’s honor.”

Hal, it seems, is more perceptive than one would think. His scent is still muted, pleasant, not moving an inch to let you see exactly where you have him. It’s so tempting, the notion of being courted by an Alpha - by this Alpha - when the other omegas are falling all over themselves whenever he’s been in town. The gnawing worry in the pit of your stomach taunts you that it’s not a courting, not like what you’ve seen, what you’ve come to expect. He is asking you out on a date. His request tastes a little like pity, but the hungry thing inside you twists and turns and longs for the satisfaction of being his company.

“Then… I suppose it would be rude of me to turn you down,” you reply coyly, taking his hand and pressing it gently.

Like other alphas, he runs hot, but the warmth is pleasant against your skin. The palm of his hand is lightly calloused from long hours of hard labour, yet when he strokes over your knuckle with his thumb, it’s with a touch so light it sends shivers down your spine.

“Not at all, miss,” he all but husks out, a sweet little smile lighting up his features. “But I’ll be very happy if you’ll allow me to take you out.”

When you leave, it’s with butterflies in your stomach and a time and place set for tomorrow. It made his scent flare just a bit walking you to the truck, saying his usual goodbye like it now means something more. It has you driving just a little more reckless, giddiness bubbling through you. Your mother notices, of course, and you can’t even bring yourself to berate her for the smug expression on her face when you turn down dinner with the excuse, “I already ate.” as you bound up the stairs to your room.

In there, time moves slow, inching forward as slow as molasses in January. Every tick of the clock is sluggish, no matter how you try to ignore it or make time pass. Picking out a pretty dress to wear takes unusually little time, try as you might to drag it out by trying it on, complete with your prettiest garters and silkiest stockings, taking careful steps in your one good pair of heels. You play around with your hair, pick through your makeup box. No matter. Time doesn’t move any quicker just because you try to make it. Seconds tick by just as rhythmically as they’ve always done; a countdown of immeasurable quantity.

It makes sure you feel it, the width and length of it in the wee hours of the night when your eyes refuse to grow heavy and sleep evades you. It lingers in the hours leading up to your date, in the small menial errands you run and the chores you do. You’re dressed and primped with an hour to spare, and even with your slowest walk, you’d still be in town well ahead of time. Your father offers to give you a ride, adding more waiting to your deteriorating patience, but you still accept.

“Knock him dead, Peanut,” he tells you with a smile, pressing your hand in his before you exit the truck.

You give him a weak nod in return, waving him goodbye from the sidewalk. Knock him dead. It makes insecurity flicker to life again, swirling through you and setting your hands shaking. Knock him dead. As if you could. You walk the short distance to the meeting point, politely greeting friends and acquaintances when they pass you, trying to ignore the long glances as you wait. The tables have turned now, and time rushes, seconds slipping by you while you wait. Isn’t he coming? What time is it? Shouldn’t Hal be here by now? What if-

“I’m so sorry, darlin’, my ride got a flat tire, and we had to ch-”

Hal fall silent when you turn around, coming to an abrupt halt a couple of feet away. He looks dashing dressed up, a blue shirt tucked into darkwash jeans, sleeves rolled up to show tanned arms and the same almost-invisible smattering of hair you’d peeked during that first meeting. His hair is combed back, an errant curl hanging down his forehead that he tries to brush back stubbornly refusing to stay in place.

“Hal?”

“You… you look stunning, miss.”

Flustered, your gaze drops, fists clenching the material of the dress. Biting down, you refuse to voice any of the protests, fighting to accept his compliment. You do look good. Hal would never say such a thing just for the sake of saying it. You look good. Slowly, you raise your head, meeting his gaze and offering a trembling smile. He looks at you like you’ve hung the moon, arms clasped behind his back.

“I could say the same thing about you,” you offer in return, surprised that your voice carries so evenly.

Hal smiles bashfully, holding a hand for you, “I tried my best,” he tells you, finding his way back to his usual charm as you hook your arm with his. “I believe we have a date, omega.”

Shivers roll down your spine hearing your presentation. “I believe we do.”

The warmth of him, the public display of desiring your company makes something flare in your stomach, further fueled by the poorly suppressed whispers of your omega acquaintances when they see you walk through town. You realize when you walk into the movie theater, sitting down and still holding his hand, that you want to call him yours. Glancing over at him while the screen flickers to life, your eyes lock, and your wolf claws at you.

You want him.

@loup-malin, @ursulaismymiddlename, @brookebarnes, @erisjade, @bakexprayxlove, @callamint, @mrshopkirk, @hellomissmabel, @ceebeetumbles, @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel, @lenia1d, @andhiseyesweregreen, @basicallyericharris, @thatgirlsar, @bubblebathsandsarcasm, @amrita31199, @netflixa, @rockintensse, @marvelrevival, @writemarvelousthings, @gallifreyansass, @allyallyally-oh, @shy2shot, @angryschnauzer, @engineeringgirlcve, @hellstempermentalangel, @whyisbuckyso, @melconnor2007, @impalaimages, @superwholocknda, @shifutheshihtzu, @hennessy0274-blog, @kanupps06

@avengerofyourheart, @booksandshowsandmovies-ohmy, @themcuhasruinedme, @creideamhgradochas, @feepsmoothie, @nuvoleincielo, @wellfuckbuck, @rotisserierogers, @sarahsassafras13, @romanosgirl1978, @rrwilson66

[urdearestmom]

100 Questions

Tagged by @bob-newby-superhero thanks!!

1. What is your nickname? Sari, Sarita, Sarinha

2. How old are you? 18

3. What is your birth month? December

4. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius

5. What is your favourite colour? Green!

6. What’s your lucky number? 17 because it’s my birthday lmao

7. Do you have any pets? No but I really want a cat. Everyone in my family has dogs

8. Where are you from? I’m Luso-Canadian (my family is from Portugal but we live in Canada)

9. How tall are you? My driver’s license says 160 cm but the doctor told me 163. Either way, around 5’3”

10. What shoe size are you? Uhh depends on the shoe but usually 6.5-7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Many, but I always wear the same shit lol

12. Are you random? Sometimes, I guess

13. Last person you texted? I texted myself pictures from my mom’s phone. Last message in general was to @eljane-hoppers

14. Are you psychic in any way? Haha sometimes I think I am, but my mom is more >:^)

15. Last TV show watched? Saw an episode of Four Weddings on TLC this morning

16. Favourite movie? The Book Thief or The Greatest Showman

17. Favourite show from your childhood? iCarly!! Used to watch it religiously after school every day it was on

18. Do you want children? Yes, but definitely not right now lmao

19. Do you want a church wedding? Kind of yeah. It’ll depend on who I end up marrying but it’d probably be some kind of disgrace if I didn’t get married in a church

20. What is your religion? I am Catholic

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yup tons of times, whether for myself or other people

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope, I am a Child of God™

23. How is life? Could be better, probably, but it’s pretty chill right now

24. Baths or showers? Showers, but I also really like baths

25. What colour socks are you wearing? Bold of you to assume I’m wearing socks at all

26. Have you ever been famous? I mean if you google my name the results are me. I was on CBC because I was in the national spelling bee in 2012

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I feel like it’d be fun and cool for a while but then I’d get tired of it. I don’t like having people all up in my business and that seems like what life is like for big celebrities :/ But having a lot of influence would be awesome

28. What type of music do you like? Literally anything except country music (I’m not all that into rap/trap music either, but I can appreciate it from time to time) here’s a playlist of my favourite stuff it’s like seven hours long but if you go through it you’ll see it’s really all kinds :)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Maybe and I don’t remember? My childhood was a questionable era

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2, both under my head

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I usually fall asleep on my side but I almost always wake up on my back so I don’t actually know how I’m sleeping

32. How big is your house? 2 stories and a basement

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cup of milk with something else, usually a bowl of cereal or bread/croissant with Nutella

34. Have you ever left the country? YeET I’ve been to Portugal a bunch of times, Spain once, and to France on a 5-hour layover but we didn’t leave the airport and I don’t remember it anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

35. Have you ever tried archery? Does it count if it was on Wii Sports? And yeah once and I was terrible at it

36. Do you like anyone? I think so and it sucks because he’s my friend :(

37. Favourite swear word? Probably fuck, I say it a lot. But I also say shit a lot so I mean idrk

38. When do you fall asleep? Oof regularly past midnight, but the time varies

39. Do you have any scars? A giant burn mark on my leg and a very faint lil thing on my right hand from this time I accidentally did an entire flip in my driveway

40. Sexual orientation? Was previously sure I was straight but I’m kind of starting to question that?

41. Are you a good liar? I like to think that I’m a very convincing actress

42. What languages would you like to learn? Mm I already speak Portuguese (if you ever wanna learn something hmu), and I learned some French because that’s mandatory in Canada but I dropped it and I want to get back into it. So, French! I also learned some German this year and I might continue with it. Also maybe Spanish, I can already understand some

43. Top 10 songs? Umm

Love Is A Battlefield - Pat Benatar

Rock You Like A Hurricane - Scorpions

Theme From New York, New York - Frank Sinatra

True Faith - New Order

Age Of Consent - New Order

A Million Dreams - The Greatest Showman OST

Second Waltz - Dmitri Shostakovich

Power Of Love - Celine Dion

Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry

Halo - Beyonce

44. Do you like your country? Canada? Yeah, I love it except for the stupid ass weather. I get sick every fucking time the season changes

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yeeee!! They’re all awesome people

46. What is your personality type? INFP- there’s more info here if you want to know what that means

47. Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw ftw bitches

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yesssss

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? Buzzfeed told me that, based on my music taste, I am “a student of classic rock like School of Rock’s Dewey Finn” (but actually HA I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LOVED JACK BLACK IN THAT MOVIE)

50. Left or right handed? Righttttt

51. Are you scared of spiders? They don’t scare me as much as induce some kind of panic, but it really depends what kind of spider. Really little ones are actually kind of cute, but big spiders send me into cardiac arrest

52. Favourite food? Akjsnfskd PASTA

53. Favourite foreign food? Idk man I’m already picky af with my food. If I live in Canada does that make the Portuguese food I eat on a daily basis foreign because if so I loooooove me some fuckin barbecued chicken

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Fairly clean. If I wasn’t my mother would hurt me lol

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Idk probably figure out how to pee standing up, maybe make use of the ability to lie on my stomach without hurting my chest :)

56. What colour underwear? I think this is turquoise

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Depends what I’m getting ready for. On a regular day, ten minutes tops. If I’m going out to an event it can be upwards of an hour; sometimes less, sometimes more

58. Do you have much of an ego? Idk if it’s ego so much as me being confident in myself. Anyone who has a problem with me and decides to be rude about it can suck my non-existent dick

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I try to suck them but it never lasts for long, I almost always bite them unless I’m really concentrating on not biting

60. Do you talk to yourself? Lmfao only ALL THE TIME

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yeee

62. Are you a good singer? I don’t think I’ll blow out your eardrums but I know I’m not the best either. I’ll just say I’m not terrible

63. Biggest Fears? Heights and deep water

64. Are you a gossip? I live for drama does that make me a gossip

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Yeah if I’m talking to someone I’m very comfortable with (my cousin for example) or if I’m trying to be petty

66. Do you have long or short hair? Long! I’m growing it out so I can be really dramatic and chop it all off later (also thinking of donating it)

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I can name almost all of them but I always forget a few. I think it’s pretty good considering I was never taught American geography

68. Favourite school subject? Instrumental music and history were my favourites

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Idk I guess extroverted introvert? Is that a thing???? I’m really awkward and panicky in social situations with people I don’t know but if I have friends around I’m just here to have the time of my life

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No

71. What makes you nervous? Having to talk to people I don’t know (it literally makes me panic it’s horrible)

72. Are you scared of the dark? Sometimes, yeah

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Lmao ok this depends on who the person is and if I’m in that kind of mood (but when I was a kid I used to correct my teachers)

74. Are you ticklish? Yes very

75. Have you ever started a rumour? No

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes, I’ve been to Portugal a bunch of times, Spain once, and France on a layover

77. Have you ever drank underage? Chugged a cup of beer by accident when I was 6 oops

78. Have you ever done drugs? No but even if I had I don’t think I would say it here unless it was something minor like weed

79. What do you fantasize about? Travelling the world!!!!! And like, being a successful adult because right now I have no idea what the actual fuck I’m doing with my life

80. How many piercings do you have? Two, one in each ear

81. Can you roll your Rs? You gotta in Portuguese! I’m also fairly sure my French and German pronunciations are pretty much on point most of the time so I can do those types of R sounds as well

82. How fast can you type? Pretty fast on my phone and not slow on my laptop either (when you’re a writer you end up learning to type faster than you thought you would lol)

83. How fast can you run? Oof I’m not slow when I first start off but that only goes for like max 10 seconds

84. What colour is your hair? Dark brown

85. What colour are your eyes? Also dark brown

86. What are you allergic to? Bigots

87. Do you keep a journal? I have a diary I’ve had since I was like 10 but I don’t write in it very often. I also have a notebook where I write down fic ideas and outline plots

88. Are you depressed about anything? I actually think I might have seasonal depression or something but I’m not sure

89. Do you like your age? Yeah I guess being 18 is cool

90. What makes you angry? People who refuse to listen to reason

91. Do you like your own name? Yes it means princess!

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? No but I ate lead once

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? No preference as long as it is alive and healthy

94. What talents do you have? Uhh I can play two instruments and will be learning a third does that count? I just remembered I can also balance a spoon on my nose

95. Sun or moon? Moon

96. How did you get your name? My mom had a friend named Sara when she was a kid and she always liked the name so here I am having been named Sara

97. Are you religious? Kind of? I don’t go to church very often but I think I believe in God (I believe that there’s something, at least). I’ve also received all the Sacraments that I can (as of right now that’s baptism, first communion, and confirmation)

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Nope

99. Colour of your bedspread? Right now it’s just plain white

100. Colour of your room? Bright green!

Yeet I’m finished! Took forever ‘cause I kept getting interrupted but oh well

tagging: @eljane-hoppers @hannahberrie @mikeywheelerr @queer-deckovskij

[uneven-odds]

Honesty hour

The lovely @promisedmistake asked me to do this, so here we go <3

1.Who was the last person you held hands with? - can´t remember.

2. Are you outgoing or shy? - shy.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? - my bed.

4. Are you easy to get along with? - not really, I´m a little bit moody.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? - no.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? - People with a good sense of humor, kind eyes and honesty.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - nope.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? - No one.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - yes always.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - Idk bruh it´s been to long since I had a deep conversation with anyone.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? - “Somehow I dodged the topic.”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - Snuff by Slipknot, Out of the darkness by Matthew and the Atlas, You kill me by Paper Route, High Hopes by Patd and Room to breathe by You me at six.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? - no.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? - sort of.

15. What good thing happened this summer? - It isn´t summer yet but there are a few things I´m excited for.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - no.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? - yes.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? - no.

19. Do you like bubble baths? - yes.

20. Do you like your neighbors? - yeah kinda.

21. What are you bad habits? - i’m lazy and messy.

22. Where would you like to travel? - Norway, Denmark, Iceland, Ireland, Scotland and Amsterdam.

23. Do you have trust issues? - yes.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? - going to bed.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - everything.

26. What do you do when you wake up? - wishing to go back to sleep again.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - it is ok as it is.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? - my closest friends.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? - nope.

30. Do you ever want to get married? - no.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? - Yeah but not long enough to hold it for a while.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? - Hugh Dancy and Dylan O´Brien.

33. Spell your name with your chin. - sayfrdsfd, well it could be worse.

34. Do you play sports? What sports? - no.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? - easy one, without TV.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - yes.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? - “mhm” or nothing at all.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? - a good sense of humor, nice hands, kind eyes, honest, binge watching partner and just someone who can make me smile even if I don´t feel like it.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? - I hate shopping, unless I shop books. If i have to I shop online.

40. What do you want to do after high school? - I´m not in high school anymore, sooo I go to university, something I always wanted to do.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - depends on the person.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? - that something is off.

43. Do you smile at strangers? - sometimes.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? - outer space.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? - my alarm clock.

46. What are you paranoid about? - tbh? atm everything.

47. Have you ever been high? - nope.

48. Have you ever been drunk? - yes.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - yeah.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? -black.

51. Ever wished you were someone else? - yes.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? - kinda everything.

53. Favourite makeup brand? - don’t have one.

54. Favourite store? - don’t have one.

55. Favourite blog? - i really love @promisedmistake and @sirenja-and-the-stag      blogs.

56. Favourite colour? - blue.

57. Favourite food? - Chinese food.

58. Last thing you ate? - A bun.

59. First thing you ate this morning? - Ice cream.

60. Ever won a competition? For what? - nope.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? - yes, because I disturbed the lesson with someone else.

62. Been arrested? For what? - no.

63. Ever been in love? - yes.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? - A boy asked me if he should show me how adults kiss and i was curious so I said yes....it was disgusting. I was three or four at this time.

65. Are you hungry right now? - no.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? - nearly all my real friends are on tumblr so...

67. Facebook or Twitter? - Twitter.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? - Tumblr.

69. Are you watching tv right now? - no.

70. Names of your bestfriends? - Nico.

71. Craving something? What? - Sleep.

72. What colour are your towels? - mostly white.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? - 4 or 5.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - no.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? - 5 or 6.

75. Favourite animal? - cats.

76. What colour is your underwear? - green.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? - vanilla.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? - peanut butter.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? - brown.

80. What colour pants? - black.

81. Favourite tv show? - Hannibal.

82. Favourite movie? - The death cure and The great gatsby, can´t decide.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? - Mean Girls.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? - Mean Girls.

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? - Regina George.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? - Dory.

87. First person you talked to today? - To the head of my seminar.

88. Last person you talked to today? - my best friend.

89. Name a person you hate? - my stepdad.

90. Name a person you love? - my grandfather.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - yes.

92. In a fight with someone? - no.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? - 5.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? - 5 or 7.

95. Last movie you watched? - Solo a Star Wars story.

96. Favourite actress? - Viola Davis.

97. Favourite actor? - Hugh Dancy.

98. Do you tan a lot? - I tan easily.

99. Have any pets? - yes, a lovely cat.

100. How are you feeling? - tired, kinda like I´m fading and empty. Idk.

101. Do you type fast? - yeah.

102. Do you regret anything from your past? - yes.

103. Can you spell well? - yes.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? - yes.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? - yeah.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? - yes.

107. Have you ever been on a horse? - yes.

108. What should you be doing? - studying.

109. Is something irritating you right now? - yeah.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - yes still do.

111. Do you have trust issues? - Didn´t we had this question already?

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? - my mum and my grandmother.

113. What was your childhood nickname? - Sari, Lala and Sasha.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? - yes.

115. Do you play the Wii? - no.

116. Are you listening to music right now? - yes.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? - Yes.

118. Do you like Chinese food? - I love chinese food.

119. Favourite book? - How to stop time by Matt Haig.

120. Are you afraid of the dark? - No, I love it.

121. Are you mean? - Yeah, sometimes.

122. Is cheating ever okay? - no never.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? - Oh hell no.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? - not really.

125. Do you believe in true love? -nope.

126. Are you currently bored? - not really.

127. What makes you happy? - my friends, my family, my cats, books, rain and Hannibal.

128. Would you change your name? - no.

129. What your zodiac sign? - capricorn.

130. Do you like subway? - nope.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - I would be surprised because he is gay.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - Why are u asking me this again? Scroll up bitch.

133. Favourite lyrics right now? - “ I was dead and I was dying at your doorway I did not see you, you did not appear and between the years I might have come to know you but I don't own you, that much is clear ”

134. Can you count to one million? - yes.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? - that it wasn´t me.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? - closed.

137. How tall are you? - 5′3″.

138. Curly or Straight hair? - a mix of both.

139. Brunette or Blonde? - brunette.

140. Summer or Winter? - winter.

141. Night or Day? - night.

142. Favourite month? -november.

143. Are you a vegetarian? - no.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? - dark.

145. Tea or Coffee? - Both but I love coffee a little bit more.

146. Was today a good day? - no.

147. Mars or Snickers? - Snickers.

148. What’s your favourite quote? - “ We know what we are, but know not what we may be”

149. Do you believe in ghosts? - yes.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line: “ It was definitely too late to wake my neighbors, and I was too hygienic to urinate in the sink.”

[hes-a-rainbow]

A/N: made the reader American because I don’t know how to write in British ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“Come on! You told me last week that you were free and I know for a fact you don’t have any plans.”

Harry was right on your heels as he followed you out of the makeup trailer. He was asking you out again for the upteenth time. You knew how many people would kill to be in your position but you had promised yourself you wouldn’t get involved with anyone. You were just thankful for the kisses you two shared on set.

Your characters kisses, your bitch of a conscious reminds you.

“Harsh, but-“

“No buts!” He raises his finger to point at you, “You pinky promised.”

You try to hide the smile on my face by biting your cheek but fail miserably. Harry was anything if not persistent. You both had gotten along almost immediately upon meeting, your real life chemistry showing under the watchful eye of the film camera.

But your previous relationships had all ended so badly, and just couldn’t do that to yours and Harry’s friendship. But he never gave up, even after a month of trying. You could tell by the smirk that he wore that he enjoyed the chase; something you secretly didn’t mind either.

“Look, Harry, it’s not you it’s—“ You stop yourself before sounding like a complete cliche. “I just don’t think this,” You make a gesture between the two of you. “Is a good idea.”

You stared down at your hands as you play with the rings on your fingers.

“But…” You still don’t dare look him in the eye. His hands stuff into his pant pockets and you could see them moving around nervously. “...how do you know if we don’t try?”

You pause your actions and finally gain the courage to look up at him; his big green eyes staring down at you nervously.

“I just don’t really have that great of a track record. I’ve lost so many amazing friendships in the past and I don’t want that happening to us. Not to mention it would make things weird for everybody on set if it didn’t end up well.” Your voice was weak and small and you don’t sound convincing at all.

“You have a bad track record? Love, you should hear mine!” He chuckles and the sight of his dimples calm you down just a bit.

“Listen, as much as I would love to take you out on a official Harry Styles date™, I would literally settle for anything you could give me. Even sitting next to you while we read over our scripts.”

Your brain screams at you telling you it’s a bad idea, but your heart shuts her up quickly.

“Okay,” You finally give in. And maybe it’s just because he looks so adorable or maybe because he actually seems nervous, you may never know. “I’ll meet you halfway. But it will only be friend dates, completely platonic. No messy business.”

“I’m the king of platonic relationships!” Harry spoke a little too loudly which causes some of the crew to turn and look in your direction.

You rest your hand on his shoulder, “Alright, alright, calm down.”

“Sorry.” He responds sheepishly.

You laugh before turning around to walk to the next set. You only get a few feet before you hear him speak again, “Wait! One more thing!”

You turn to see Harry speed walking towards you, his hair flopping around with every step.

“I want to ask you before anyone else does,” Your eyebrows raise as you wait for his question. You start to panic when he lowers himself down onto one knee, grabbing your hands in the process and holding them between his.

He closes his eyes while taking a dramatically loud deep breath.

“Will you...be my date for the premiere ?”

You pull your hands away from his before playfully pushing his shoulder which causes his stance to teeter slightly.

“God, Harry. You scared the shit out of me!”

He only chuckles but remains in his one knee position. Again you start to notice people looking over and whispering to each other.

Harry must notice because he only smiles and responds, “Not gonna get up until you answer me, pet.” His face looks so smug and yet so genuine that you have to stop yourself from kissing him.

“Okay, okay, yes I’ll go to the premiere with you!” You try to pull him up by his shirt but he stays planted deeply on the ground.

“Harry, c’mon, people are staring.” You whisper at him.

“Not unless you agree it’s a date.” You see your director making his way over to the both of you. This was your first time working with him and you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

“Yes, yes, it’s a date now get up!” Harry chuckles at your panic face as he grabs your hands for leverage to stand up.

“You guys ready? I’d like to start filming in five.” Your director only says in passing, not giving you the chance to respond before speaking into his head set. He seems completely unfazed by the scene Harry just caused.

Harry doesn’t even seem to notice him walk by.

“Sounds wonderful. I’ll pick you up in about...a year? Probably around 8?”

You roll your eyes at the man in front of you before turning to walk into the same direction as the director just took.

“You are so lame, Styles!” You yell back to him, knowing, without having to look, that he was right behind you.

“Oi! Shouldn’t say that about your date, love.” He quickly catches up and wraps his arm around your shoulder, “Already countin’ down the days.” He whispers in your ear before placing a kiss to your hair.

You knew this boy would be trouble.

[subgirlygirl]

How to Find a Dom

Feel Good

Be happy in your own skin and in your own company. Have likes and hobbies, things you do that make you feel good about yourself. Create something. Strip down an old dresser and paint it baby blue, or write a poem that’s probably crap but made you tear up when you wrote it. Make an actual dinner. Fuel your body and mind with what it needs not just what you want in the moment. Move and strengthen your body. Make it sweat. Make it strong. If you’re perpetually unhappy or sad, find out why. You know why? Awesome! Seek help in learning how to manage your emotions. Be content. Be someone others want to be around.

Look Good

Get your hair trimmed and your nails done. Curl your eyelashes and wear some pink gloss or red lipstick. Wear something feminine that make you feel pretty and light. Should you have to dress like a 50’s housewife to be viewed as properly submissive? Of course not. But if you want more of a traditional gender-based dynamic, then look - and embrace - the part. It can be fun. And femininity can feel pretty darn good. And, like and agree with it or not, traditional femininity draws male attention. If being ‘you’ is wearing sweatpants and a messy bun, that might be cute on a Saturday morning in the privacy of your own home, but the potential new man at the grocery store isn’t going to look at you twice. Oh, and for god’s sake, smile.

Do Good

Be you… unless you is a total bitch. I’m all for a healthy degree of sass and snark (have we met?), but when it crosses over to mean and gossipy, that’s when men typically take a pass. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself Is this in good fun? Are the people involved actually having fun? If the person I’m talking about overheard me, would they be upset? I’m not suggesting everyone be Gandhi, just don’t be a cunt. Be nice. Be helpful. Think about people other than yourself and do things for others. Be a good girl.

Take Care Yo Shit

Pay your bills. If you can’t pay your bills, call your creditors and make a plan. No quality man is going to save you from your shitty decisions. Clean your house. Your living environment is a reflection of your personality and what’s going on inside your head. A man with his own shit together isn’t going to embrace chaos. I’m not talking about clutter; few people expect or demand perfection. But if your house or your bedroom or your car is embarrassing…. well, be embarrassed. And fix it. Let your environment reflect a together woman, one he would be proud to know - and potentially own.

Leave the House

It’s cliche and I’ve said it before, but people can be whoever they want to be online. You can absolutely, 100% meet quality people on dating sites and even places like Craigslist and Fetlife (I know, I know), but cast a wider net. Ride a bike. Go to the beach. People-watch from a cafe patio. Join a Meetup group and get out in the world. There are people out there. He might be out there.

Engage With Others

Ok, so you’ve left your house. Yay! That’s a big step. But now you have to engage with other people; you can’t exist in a bubble and expect to find love. Walk tall. Make eye contact. Smile. Be present.

“Have you read that? I really liked it.” (bookstore)

“Can I ask what you’re drinking? I’m trying to find a ___ I like.” (anywhere with drinks)

“Love the shirt.” (any decent t-shirt, any town)

“Nice man bun” (this has never happened, but I suppose in a worst-case scenario anything is possible)

Be and Stay Positive

Like attracts like. I don’t care if you’ve read The Secret and agree with it or think it’s bunk, but you absolutely get back what you put out. If you’re convinced you’ll never meet or find anyone worth knowing, then congratulations! You’re right. But the same is true for the flip-side; if you’re living a life that makes you whole, and you believe it’s simply a matter of time until you meet the one(s) meant to cross your path, then congrats to you! You’ve determined your own fate.

Be Submissive

You look pretty, you’re out on the town, and you’re smiling and making eye contact with someone. Wait… stop doing that!! Don’t eye-fuck the man! Smile and lower your eyes. Fake a little shyness if you must; don’t let on that you want to climb him like Everest. Be a lady. Inspire respect. Let him open the door for you. Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Mean it. Lower your walls; give him a chance to be awesome - he very well could be. Don’t feel the need to fill every silence. Listen. Don’t be bowled over, but let him talk. Let him lead.

Know What a Dom Actually Is

A Dom is a man who is drawn to lead. He might not wear black leather. He probably won’t scowl. He could very easily wear cargo shorts or clip his toenails into the toilet. It’s entirely possible that you won’t spot his dominance like you would a bald spot or tattoo. His dominance is his character; watch him and see how he is. Does he defer to you for choices, or does he make the decisions - even small ones? Is he the clear leader in his circle of friends? He might be the quietest person at the table, but do people look to him for advice? Does he handle his business, both at work and at home? Is he honest and does he demonstrate integrity through action as well as words?

You’re right, I wrote nothing about kink. The kinky stuff, if you choose to partake, is in the details worked out after you’ve met and gotten to know the man. Anyone can swing a flogger or order someone around. It takes a different kind of person to inspire the desire to submit. That’s who you look for. Everything else is secondary.