#literally told me no one would want me after i was in hysterics cos she was already being mean to me

[kil9]

my mom when i was a kid: when you were an infant your bedroom caught fire lol but it was fine.

me: ok. im sure some freak accident that no one could have prevented in any way

my mom at 26: the smoke detector was beeping so i took the batteries out and stashed it in a closet without telling you, like a couple weeks ago. i figured you would probably fix it for me despite never telling you about it

me: ah. ok. connecting dots here. . .

[rachentp]

Dear Amelia,

I have been asked on occasion if my profession involves writing and it does. Just not creatively or with the purpose to entertain. As an auditor, if anything it's quite the opposite. But really, who even reads for fun anymore?

Anyways… I had an interesting conversation with a stranger a few weekends ago and I guess that's where this all starts. She sweetly complimented me and said I have a way with words and even though I don't professionally write creatively, if I happened to write something, she would most definitely read it. So, Sweet Stranger (who I'll recall fondly now as Amelia), this one's dedicated to you.

Having gone to an open house nestled in the suburbs near California State University of Sacramento (CSUS), not that I'm in any position to buy a house right now, I was on a kind of in-and-out mission. So when Amelia started to tell me about the features of the home, I was a bit standoffish. But she caught my attention when she said something to the effect of, "Can I give you some X advice?". I don't remember the word she used or even the phrasing exactly, but it was mostly her tone that gave me pause. It was, I don't know. Frank. What I intuited was, "You probably don't want to hear this, but if you're open to it, I'll tell you and not for any other reason than to be informative".

Because of this intuition, I later told her in passing conversation the exact reason why I am not in a position to buy a house right now: I was still waiting for the house that I primarily owned (with my ex-husband as the co-signer who is henceforth referred to as "Schad") to close and would be receiving a sum of monies at that time.

Naturally, we bonded through conversation as women may about the audacity of the the modern man. We heartily laughed about the nuanced way they can gaslight and manipulate us into doing pretty much anything under the pretense of "normalcy". Our voices got softer as we talked about how they use our children as leverage without any seeming thought about how it would affect our family dynamic. I sardonically mimicked classic, hysterical court hearing scenes between the ex and I, "But I have spousal rights! Even though I make more than her, she needs to continue to support me living in the house I kicked her out of".

What broke my heart about this conversation is that Amelia told me she observed their child (after their dad left) laughing wholeheartedly for the first time. To the point where the child had stitches in their side. Apparently, she had never seen them laugh like that before… Only after the toxin was removed could a child feel free to laugh so hard that it hurt.

And oddly, I am laughing deliriously - similarly to Amelia's child, but different - at the fact that I could ever imagine this, silver-tongued-Prince-of-the-literal-Family-Court-room to have any modicum of empathy. Schad says, "I am an ISTJ… like 100%, which suits me just fine", and I literally roll on the floor laughing… as if the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator used by the CIA to identify potential suspects would conceal his also 1,000% abusive narcissism and in all probability clinical sociopathy. If Schad were to ever take an honest look in his mirror, he'd break psychotically into a million pieces. He'd realize the litany of abuse he's inflicted not just on the three of his ex-wives (I am the third). Like Dracula, he'd realize the truth - he is a fucking vampire. Thousands of lives lay at his feet ruined, destroyed, forever changed… deranged. Except this one…

Because at this point in time, I don't regret it. Any of it. Ultimately, all of this made me (us) a Van Helsing. I will hunt his kind till the end of my mortal life. I recognize the signs now. I can see it so clearly. Where other people see a charming, charismatic, even desirable man, and bend to his every whim… I know what his kind really fucking is. I don't have stakes and I don't employ the Lord to protect me. But I do have words and independent thought. And those can be just as, if not more deadly. Honestly, the best way to eliminate the Schads of this world is to forget them. To heal from them. To not waste another thought regarding them.

They showed us happiness and rainbows, but they also showed us beauty in darkness. And at the end of that darkness… "a new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why."

Thank you, Samwise. I understand now.

[mehphoobia]

TRIPLE TROUBLE

Pairing- Tom Holland(x3) x Reader

Warnings- Language, extreme smut (I think most of it is just smut 😅), extreme cuteness.

Summary- Who knew moving into a new apartment would be so much fun if you have triplets as your neighbors. How much trouble can Peter, Tom and Arvin cause? only a lot...

MASTERLIST | REQUESTS OPEN |

PART 2

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There you were standing below a building in front of the entrance with the truck that carried your stuff on your left and surrounded by utter commotion. Why were you here again? Oh yes, you had to move out of your apartment because your godforsaken landlord, well ex-godforsaken landlord had to hike up the rent. You couldn't pay that much of an amount just for your rent to live in that matchbox of a place. Of course it had a nice view, office was closer but the world had to adjust and so did you.

"Miss we are done unloading!" grunted the man. You flinched because of his tone but then you realize you had to pay the man. After fetching a couple of bucks and paying the man, you started your journey to the fifth floor because the lift decided to sleep that day, the very day you had to move and who were your travel buddies? fourteen cartons. Why did you have so much luggage in the first place? you could literally contemplate your life's decision in the time you would have to waste carrying each one them, one by one to your apartment. "Fuck man!" you cursed as you kicked an imaginary rock to let out a bit of your frustration.

Where was your boyfriend when you needed him? oh how could you forget! He cheated on you. There you have it, your life. You stopped thinking as you picked one of your box, just then you heard a voice, "Do you need help?" that angel asked you and you would have cried. you looked at him and you were mesmerized with his curls and a jawline that could cut paper.

"Is it that evident?" you asked and he chuckled. "Are you new here?" he asked picking up one of the boxes. "Yes, my name is Y/N I moving in to 503" you informed as you picked one yourself. He looked at you wide eyed with ripples on his forehead. "Oh so you are the new neighbor. Hello there my name is Peter. W- I live in 502" he smiled as you both entered the building. The work got done easily with someone helping you out. The view from here was not that great, all you could see was your neighbor's balcony. Peter joked that this way you could meet each other every day.

Oh wasn't that guy an absolute sweetheart. If he had a little bit of attitude he would totally be your type. He left after wishing you a good night and flashing that beautiful smile of his, damn you could melt. After moving so many boxes and climbing up and down the stairs, tiredness captured you. You changed into your pajamas and finished the pizza that you had earlier ordered and slept on the couch. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, after all those boxes had to be unboxed.

You woke up to someone's washing machine's sound. You were pretty sure that washing machine was trying to run away because of low maintenance. You tried not to stumble over you unpacked luggage as you walked down your hallway tying your hair up in a bun.

Your scrunchie that was tugged onto teeth as you were getting your disheveled hair together fell to the ground. There was a girl sitting on top of the washing machine, naked and the guy was busy eating her out. You sprinted into your room as you saw the scene unfold in front of your eyes. You could feel your panties dampening because of her moans that were getting louder by the second. Luckily they took their show inside and you could finally breathe. Well, you didn't expect the view to be like that. Your neighbor with someone. Wait a minute, your neighbor, Peter?

"Wow" was all you could say before brushing your teeth and taking a bath. You never felt so ridiculously single before as you felt now. "fuck my life" was the mantra you kept chanting as you put on your shirt. "Idiot" you grunted as you realized that all your pants were packed and there was nothing you could put on below your shirt. Maybe except for the pencil skirt that somehow managed to escape and you had put it in your handbag as you found it at the last moment.

"Ah yes" you said grabbing the file which you were supposed to hand in today. You locked your door, double checked it and pressed the lift button.

As you were waiting for the lift, you heard Peter's door click open and the girl you saw today morning, yes the one sitting naked on the washing machine, made her way out. Her stumbling feet and incapability to even walk straight summarized her night. "Didn't she have a good time?" you thought to yourself and chuckled as she dared to take the stairs. Who takes the stairs when you have a perfectly fine lift?

"Good morning?" a very heavy voice said behind you. You turned behind to take a better look at him. "Good morning uh..Peter" you said obviously uncomfortable because he still smelt like sex.

"Oh yes me, Peter" he said laughing hysterically. You gulped as you stepped away from him. Sure you wanted him to have attitude but this is not what you expected. His cute little eyes were all hooded and spoke a different language today. As if you met someone else yesterday.

"Are you going up or down?" you asked in effort to change the topic as he walked closer towards you. "Going down kitten" he panted and smirked sheepishly. You could feel his breath as his hands checked you out. He smiled and started to walk away. He looked at you one last time before he locked his door. "Oh God" was all you could say as you clutched your shirt together. You would lie if you didn't feel aroused. Of course he was weird, hell, he was kind of a boy all mothers tell their daughters to be aware off. But this guy had a lot of surprises and were you gonna figure all of them out? Fuck yeah.

After handing over your file to your senior, you took the rest of the day off. On your way back to your apartment, you spotted a café. It was rustic and elegant and beautiful paintings hung on the wall. You stepped up to the cashier to place your order.

"Hi how may I help you?" gleamed the guy. Your smile disappeared when you looked at him. "Peter?" you questioned in confusion. "Peter?" he questioned back. "Uh we met today morning. Don't you remember? You helped me with the boxes too?" you explained. "Are you Y/N?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes" you replied in confusion. "Hi my name is T- Peter." he introduced himself. "yeah I know" you smiled embarrassingly. He noticed your expression and took a deep breath. "Miss Y/N why don't you have a seat? I think we need to talk." he spoke as if in an attempt to not mess things up.

You decided to sit down and talk to him. And you did. You realized he owned this café and a couple more around the city. His gentlemanly behavior was like a spell that enticed you. You could listen to him for hours. His honey glistened tone played their tricks on you.

"Why don't you come over for drinks tomorrow? We can spend a bit more time together" he suggested in a calm tone as he walked you towards your apartment. "Sure. Does 7 sound good?" you asked as you looked for your keys. "Perfect actually, we all will be home by then." "Great, I will see you tomorrow then" you said as you locked the door. What a strange guy? If someone would come and tell you that you saw three different versions of the same guy, you wouldn't be surprised.

You stood in pale pink dress that rested your hips and covered you till your mid thigs, that you hunted from your closet. You had spent the entire day unboxing and setting up your apartment. It was almost 7 and you were a bit tired but you would throw your away for the little get together you had with Peter.

Now standing outside their door clutching to the scented candle, you rang their bell. He opened the door and gestured you to come in. "In here" he said pointing towards a room that was co-joined with the balcony. As you were walking towards that room, you saw a photo frame. Your heart dropped. "Fucking triplets?" you murmured. "Hey kitten" "Hi Y/N" two voices spoke. You flinched at the sudden sound and they stood right behind you.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" you blurted out your question. You were no longer worried if you sounded rude. "All this time I thought I--you were lying to me?" you asked. "Y/N please listen" Peter spoke, the cute little one you had met for the first time.

You sat down, when they all started explaining themselves. First the other two introduced themselves. The guy near the lift was Arvin and the guy you had met at the café was Tom. Peter told you that he was the one who had started all this confusion because he fell for you at the first sight. He knew Erwin and Tom would like you too and how right he was.

"Peter couldn't control his excitement when he told us about you." Tom said caressing Peter's hair. All the anger somehow melted and turned into a genuine smile. Peter blushed when he saw you smiling, the same smile he fell in love with, they all did.

"Look I had a break up recently. He cheated on me and I might have a tough time adjusting to have another person in my life so soon and three of you together would be overwhelming so can we take it slow? like get to know each other first." you suggested to which Arvin sat down next to you.

"Take all the time you need kitten, we will be right here" he said as he stroked your hair. Soon he was joined by Tom, "1 month, spend one month with us and if its too much for you we will respect your decision." he said as he squatted down to your level. "Okay" you said after thinking about it for five minutes. Peter, baby walked to you and rested his head on shoulder as he sat next to you. Giggles filled the room as Tom cracked his bad jokes. Oh dear the three of them were walking trouble, triple trouble.

Now that you knew about their little secret, they took turns in spending time with you. Everyday Tom would drop you to your office and Arvin would pick you up. Peter would spend the weekends with you. Sometimes all the four of you went on a drive together. Peter would hold on to you as he clutched you from behind when you sat on the passenger seat.

1 month passed away like a jiffy taking away all the confusion and panic you had about being in a polyamories relationship and were you whipped for them. Of course you were.

It was a Sunday, exactly 1 month later, here you were sitting on the couch with all three of them. "So what do you think?" Tom asked you as he pulled you closer. "Do like us now?" Peter asked you with his puppy eyes. "I have always liked you but" you smiled as you continued, "I love you, all the three of you." you smiled with how fast Peter started crying after you finished. Arvin came close to you as he caressed your cheek.

Tom pulled you in for a kiss. His tender lips felt so soft on yours. You moaned into the kiss and he could easily slip his tongue in your mouth. Arvin dragged his lips on your neck, marking you as his, their's. Never breaking the kiss Tom dragged the zip of your dress exposing your black lace. "So pretty" Arvin moaned as he took notice of your exposed self.

You broke the kiss as your eyes landed on Peter. Tom and Arvin sensed you pulling away and looked at each other. "Peter is it too much for you? if you don't want-" "No" Peter's sudden confession stopped you midway.

"I want this, I do want you but I have never done it before." Peter confessed embarrassingly. You smiled as you pulled him close to you. "It's okay I will take care of you, don't you worry." As you pulled his pant's zip down exposing the dent that he was trying hide, Tom chuckled. Peter whimpered when you fetched his member out the confines and licked off the leaking precum. Tom slid your bra away and Arvin had his hands exploring your womanhood.

You licked a wide strip, leaving Peter withering above you. He clutched your hair when you suddenly made eye contact with him and pushed you down on his cock. His cock was girthy and long with made arousal drip from your pussy. Arvin was quick to spread your arousal, lubricating you. Tom had one of your nipple in his mouth as he lay below you.

Peter's girthy cock sat at the back of your throat leaving him in all moans. Suddenly Arvin pushed one of his digits in your leaking pussy. The sudden intrusion choked a moan out of you. The vibration of your moan had Peter's head falling back in pleasure. "You like that, kitten? You like my fingers in you?" you swallowed at Arvin's filthy words. "Do you want him to fuck you with his fingers, fuck you till you are shaking?" Tom said while rubbing your nipples together at the same time. Arvin rubbed your clit with his thumb as you bobbed you head up and down on Peter's cock.

"Such a good pussy, Tom" Arvin panted. "Vin' e-every time you talk like that, she s-swallows and it feels so fucking good." Peter said in between his moans. "Yeah? you like it when we talk dirty?" a sudden slap sent vibration throughout your pussy and you swallowed your moan. That was it for Peter, he came in your mouth and you could feel hot cum filling your throat.

You popped off of Peter's cock as Arvin pulled you backwards and kissed you. It was messy and rough and you loved it. "Do you want Tom to fuck you?" Arvin asked. On his cue Tom pulled out his cock and slid a condom on it and lined up at your entrance. "P-Please" you managed to say while Arvin continued to rub your clit. "Please what kitten?" he pushed you towards your edge. "Please fuck me" you moaned. "Fuck her Tom and don't cum till I say" Arvin commanded.

Peter took one your nipples in his mouth as he Arvin pushed through your velvety folds slowly allowing you to adjust. Arvin wasn't as girthy as Peter but he was longer than him. Tom bottomed out with a grunt, "so tight and wet. N-Not gonna last".

"P-Please m-move" you mumbled and it was enough for Tom to fetch out his cock completely and slam it in again. Soon he set a pace which had you writhing under him.

With Tom fucking you at a past that has you drifting to heaven and Arvin rubbing you clit vigorously with Peter sucking your nipples together was enough to send you over the edge. "Can I cum, Pplease?" you panted. "Not yet kitten" with that soon Arvin replaced his thumb with his tongue. "Come on kitten cream all over his cock. need you taste you." he said and it was enough for you to let go.

You had never cum this hard in your life. You could feel Tom's softening cock slip out of your pussy and Arvin was kind enough to clean all the mess with his tongue. The overstimulation was too much for you so you came second time that night.

All the three of you were staring at the ceiling, panting when you spoke, "Oh I am definitely into trouble".

"Triple Trouble" all of them spoke together.

______________________________🤍_____________________________

A/N- Hey guys, so this is just another fic in my draft. Tumblr is making me write all my fantasies and do I like it? I freaking love it.

I am thinking about posting a Sebastian Stan fic so if you have any requests please send them to me. I have been waiting to write a fic on him.

Oh ok on heavy request, HEAVY request there will be a part 2 of this fic..damn guys I received so many asks for this one 😂

for part 2 I didn't really plan anything it was just going to be a simple fic but look how that turned out to be?

if you have any specific plot for part 2 send me in your request i will definitely go through it..

Love yourself..you are worth it ❣❣

[deannaroxannewrites]

Tropetember Day 5 - Accidental Confession / In Vino Veritas (Drunk Confession/Drunk Dial)

Unrequited love? Bite me

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x GN!Reader

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Rating: Teen and up

TW: Drinking/alcohol, language, vampirism/blood mentions, FWB mention

AN: Day 5 of @tropetember. Not my best work but hope you enjoy. Might rework this slightly at a later point.

A visit to the Salvatores in Mystic Falls should be pretty fun, until Damon decides to drag you to a party the Originals are throwing.

Find this story on Ao3 here.

Word Count: 1.5k

“Damon, you cannot be serious.”

Your best friend just gives you puppy dog eyes. Bright blue and sad as can be. It’s kinda pathetic.

“Pretty please.”

You huff, knowing you won’t win this argument. You’ve known him since you were both children, through him being turned by Katherine and later Stefan turning you (long story), and then on and off in the intervening century and a half. You even had a casual friends with benefits arrangement when you were both lonely/bored. Knowing him so well, you decide to save everyone the time and give in.

“You’re paying for my outfit Damon! I can not believe you’re making me go…”

He scoops you up and spins you, making you squeal as he thanks you. Stefan, who has been observing from the couch being absolutely no help, just laughs.

“You won’t regret it. It’ll be fun and we can learn some things at the same time. We’ll be the most attractive spy duo in history.”

You just roll your eyes and go to grab your keys before stealing Damon’s wallet. If you’re going to have to face the Mikaelsons again, you weren’t doing it in something you’d worn before. And you were going to buy something expensive out of spite.

------------------

The entrance to the Mikaelson’s house was the same as any other house in Mystic Falls: opulent, excessive and with far too much marble. You’d take a cosy cabin over this nonsense any day.

Clinging to Damon's arm, you enter the space and, thankfully, Klaus is the only one of the family greeting guests.

“Darling, it’s been a while.” You can’t help the reactionary smile as you embrace him. He could be bat shit crazy at times, but he’d always been kind to you.

“Klaus! I’ve missed you.” Out of your eye corner, you can see Damon giving you both evil eyes. Had you accidentally on purpose forgotten to mention you knew the original family? Oops, your bad.

Klaus doesn’t let you go far, holding you at arms length to admire your new outfit. You do look stunning in it, if you do say yourself.

“Beautiful.” He leans in to whisper in your ear “My brother really doesn’t realise what he’s missing.”

You laugh him off, ignoring the implication. You knew better.

“Now boys,” you say, glancing between them, “I’ll have no part in whatever this little competition or measuring contest is, and I expect you all to leave me out of it.” They both look a little guilty as they nod. “Marvellous. If you need me, I’ll be somewhere out of the way with a glass of champagne.”

And with that you head further into the party, leaving them to bicker.

-----

"Urgh, I've missed you so much! I can't believe you left us."

You and Rebekah are both waaaay too many glasses of champagne deep at this point. You’d been there a couple of hours by now and it had only taken Rebekah 30mins to realise you were there and take you hostage. You're currently sequestered on a sofa in a corner and are both a bit sloppy.

"What do you want me to say Bekah? It's your arsehole brother's fault."

"Wait, what? What did Klaus do?"

You laugh, just a tad hysterically and fortify yourself with another sip out of your glass.

"Wrong one. Go older"

A look of understanding comes across her face and she wraps an arm around you. You, sadly, don't have enough of your wits about you to realise that this isn't the best place for a drunken heart to heart.

Everything starts to spill out of you. How you and Elijah had spent so much time together. How you thought he liked you back, only for him to turn up with what's her name wrapped around him. How he'd laughed when you'd expressed your surprise that he was dating, and how it made you feel like nothing. It was too much for your heart to handle. So you’d left, had a fun rebound weekend with Damon and tried to move on.

Rebekah pulls back slightly, wiping a tear that had escaped without your permission.

"You're too good for him anyway," she says and you laugh.

"I wish that were true.” You pull yourself together a little and put on your best fake smile. “For now, I'm just going to don an air of indifference and pretend I'm not in love with your oldest brother."

Your mirth leaves you instantly as you hear a refined voice behind you ask, "now why on Earth would you do that?"

It’s amazing how panic can sober you up.

You turn slowly and meet the eyes of the oldest Original. He’s in a suit, as always, and has a confident smirk plastered across his face. That pisses you off.

“Cos he’s an asshole” you coolly reply before turning to Rebekah, pressing a kiss to her cheek and walking swiftly out of the room to find Damon to take you home. You’d embarrassed yourself quite enough for one night.

You’d never admit that you were disappointed that Elijah didn’t try to stop you.

------------

One of the advantages to being a vampire was that you very rarely got a hangover. Instead, you just slept in a little, made a cup of coffee and did some yoga before heading out to treat yourself to lunch. You didn’t need to eat but you enjoyed the taste, there was much more variety in food than blood.

You'd only arrived in Mystic Falls a couple of days ago for your visit to see the Salvatore brothers and as such hadn't had a chance to try out the Mystic Grill. This seemed like a perfect fit opportunity. Something greasy would be perfect right about now.

The grill was a bit dingy but it worked for the place and you were happy to learn that they have a pretty good menu selection. Your excitement was soured though when Elijah decided to join you for lunch.

Dressed in yet another suit, no tie and the top buttons of his shirt undone, he oozes charm and money. Add in the handsome features and knockout smile and you were lost. You're sure back in the day the ladies with delicate constitutions had to keep their smelling salts close. You could easily have fainted over him.

But he wasn't interested in you, as he had made very clear, so you were just annoyed that he was existing in your space.

Elijah watched you eat for a few moments, clearly taking note of your reluctance to acknowledge him.

"For someone who's in love with me, you don't seem particularly happy to see me darling."

You groan quietly and lower your utensils. Wishing him away wasn't working.

"What do you want Elijah?" You sound bitter, even to your own ears. So much for attempting to sound neutral.

"One of my favourite people, who I haven't seen for a long time, has reappeared and I want to spend time with them. Is that too much to ask?"

You start eating again, using it to buy time. You had honestly missed his company. You just weren’t sure if you could bear him breaking your heart again, even accidentally and unintentionally. Luckily, he had more to say.

“Klaus told me off after you left, you know?”

You look at him in surprise.

“Told me that I’d wasted my best opportunity at happiness. Which is especially concerning considering who it was coming from.”

You nod your agreement. Klaus wasn’t exactly known for his sentimentality.

He continues, “would you believe that I really thought you were too good for me? That I really thought you weren’t interested?”

“Elijah, you can not be serious.” You pull a face at him. “I literally spent all of my time with you, hanging on your every word. I would have followed you to the ends of the Earth. How could you not have known?”

“I just thought you were being your usual effervescent self. I started dating again to try and let you go.”

Miscommunication. You shake your head. 30 years of heartbreak all because of miscommunication. God, you could bang the pair of your heads together. It’s basically a crappy romance novel. Ok, this is ok. You can fix this. You have pretty much forever left, after all.

Taking the initiative, you lean forward and grasp Elijah’s hand. His eyes fall to where you wrap your fingers around his. A hopeful look takes over his face as he returns to your eyes.

“Elijah?” You smile. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

He laughs. It’s a beautiful sound. You’re going to make it your personal mission to make him do it more often.

Lifting your knuckles to his lips, he places a gentle kiss on them.

“I can think of nothing else I’d rather do.”

[mego42]

OK but!!! Come over here and randomly sink the 8 ball???? Can we talk about this???? Does rio not understand how the game of pool works??? Was he just hanging out playing against himself prior to this??? Is it a metaphor??? Is 8 the only number he knows???? THOUGHTS????

the fact that we open the scene with a center shot of beth, all bambi-eyes and openly???? letting him see???? her vulnerable????????

the fact that she still sees him as a lifeline and turns to him for help in spite of him being demonstrably useless literally every time she’s asked

the fact that he’s open to it and asks what she needs

aaaaaand then shuts her down when she says it’s for dean

but also is still giving her some p solid, if, you know, a touch sociopathic advice

and then the fact that said advice more or less amounts to please let your ~technical husband rot in jail crime wife

and yes, the fact that he is, apparently just hanging out! in his own bar! after hours! alone! playing pool with himself!

which sounds like it should be a euphemism tbh but no! it is entirely literal!

everyone involved in this show is a lunatic including all of us!

i love it!

literally wtf are you doing rio

i would like to point out he is losing to himself which is fucking hysterical

and also extremely apt, tbh

he climbs up the pool cue when he stands. why. to what purpose.

he told her to be smart before he murdered her co-worker and beth’s like, not even phased at all by that reference

i am teLlinG y’alL murder is their foreplay, the hitman thing’s gonna be fine

if anything he’s gonna be hurt she outsourced it

which, valid!!!!!!

why are his fingers so long why why WHY

every time he lines up and takes a shot i make this sort of garbled hairpin in a vacuum cleaner noise

i didn’t ask to be like this

and when he sees that the please let him rot please please please pitch is not helping beth’s stress level he pivots and like, actually tries to be comforting????????

but is also incredibly bad at it

remember when beth was like my husband took my children and rio was like that sucks, here’s an open tab byyyyyyeeeeee

he is not the best shoulder, is what i’m saying

and yet!! she keeps going to him anyway!!!!

he’s like SIVER LINING MAYBE YOU’LL WANT TO FUCK YOUR HUSBAND AGAIN AND BETH JUST STEAMROLLS RIGHT PAST THAT

it like doesn’t even register

fuck that guy? don’t be absurd crime husband

also like

who exactly might want to hit what again hmmmmmmm HMMMMMMMMMMM

i am just saying it feels like there are some layErs here

he is so satisfied when she points out nothing sticks to him i want to slap him i want to slap myself i want to slap everyone

i gOt lucK oN my siDe / mayBe yoU do tOo

smells like foreshadowing in here

also jumping back the way his smile s o f t e n s when he says maybe you do too

the urge to slap remains strong but now with a side of leave mE here tO diE

(bringing back @pynkhues​ tag meanderings bc it lives in my head now, is this rio’s way of saying he can protect her class please discuss)

and now we arrive at sink the eight ball

i know it’s ridiculous i know but i can’t help it they’re standing there with a the pool cue and the pool table and it’s all weird tangled intimacy that’s about to flip over into intense sexual tension and i am not coping well with this at all

i’m not okay

THE WAY HE PULLS THE CUE AWAY

AND THE WAY SHE’S LIKE THIS MOTHERFUCKER I STG

let beth boland unhinge her jaw and devour the world 2k21 she deserves it

idk what to tell you beth you like it

like let’s pause for a sec and examine the situation shall we? this ep provides some really interesting contrast between beth’s extremely different relationships with the men in her life.

1. we have dean who is, i would argue, shown throughout the ep to be a complete albatross of guilt and long expired, turned toxic gratitude dangling from a rapidly fraying thread called parenting. he’s furious with beth to the point of not wanting to see her while in prison, choosing to stay in prison to avoid coping with how thoroughly their house of cards is tumbling down and the reality of who beth is and who they are to each other that collapse is exposing. 2. we have fitzpatrick who repeatedly tramples her boundaries in a tunnel vision pursuit of the person he thinks she is and his fantasy of the relationship he could have with this person who doesn’t actually exist and we’ve seen how uncomfortable it makes beth to the point that she finally blows up at him, reasserting who she is and it, idk if i would say scares him, but it definitely turns him off. 3. and then we have rio who she is locked in a nightmare game of cat and mouse with, who she has convinced herself is the source of all of her problems and yet when push comes to shove is still the person that she turns to for guidance and support, who she has no objection to sharing physical space with (i hear rumors the pool scene reads wildly divide and yeah i can see how but i am firmly camp they are both experiencing some stupidly complicated emotional upheaval and that’s what that face is, y’all take it how you will), who is also the only person this ep to witness the single, genuine, uncomplicatedly happy glimpse of one elizabeth boland née marks (who can’t help but grin in response to her joy and honestly who wouldn’t she is so gd cUte before he rips the rug out from underneath her)

i got worked up and forgot where i was going with this

something about contrast

but also the like, comfort and familiarity and ease even when Extremely Annoyed

idk i just think it’s neat

let’s see what else happens

oh right they play """"""""""pool"""""""""""

wait no, we’re not there yet

first rio’s gotta do that big-eyed disney princess look he shoots beth’s way from time to time, 209 being the notable example that comes to mind

h E Lp

so now we’re at sinking the eight ball

yeah, no, he does not know how pool works

i’d say it’s embarrassing but what isn’t with them

SPEAKING OF EMBARRASSING

or maybe i mean inexplicable

i tried to be v hardcore on not letting myself speculate about the pool scene and how it would come to be so sexy bc speculation has only ever led to either disappointment or me getting really, really over the top competitive about it to the point where it isn’t even fun for me anymore (which is saying something) but i couldn’t help spinning out potential scenarios bc like why???? how????? the man is draped over her like a blanket and smELliNg heR haiR surely that doesn’t just happen??????

WHAT A FOOL I WAS

LITERALLY FOR NO REASON AT ALL RIO’S LIKE FUCK YOUR PERSONAL SPACE CRIME WIFE IT’S OUR PERSONAL SPACE

AND BETH’S JUST LIKE YEAH SURE CRIME HUSBAND THIS IS FINE AND NORMAL I HAVE NO FURTHER COMMENTARY

LIKE?????????????????????????????????????????

h An dS

hAn D S

H a nD s

anD theN hE smelLs heR hAir like a fuckiN lunAtic

i just

TO WHAT PURPOSE

SCIENCE P L E A S E E X P L A I N

i know we all like to argue until the cows come home over what specific flavor of sloppy the show is and then we argue with the cows but like

this didn’t happen out of nowhere

they’re setting something up

(they fuckin’)

(do not argue with me or my cows)

thE shoUldeR roLl

no thoughts just that

AND THEN SHE MAKES IT

(and everything b o u n c e s)

AND SHE’S SO CUTE????? MY WIFE???????? I LOVE HER????????????

no but literally when was the last time beth was that happy

it’s so pure

and it makes him lauGh toO

s Of t

and then rio’s like no but seriously fuck your husband let him rot in jail and beth’s facce falls and my heart breaks and everyone remembers everything is terrible bc they are absolutely inFURIATING nigHTMARE PEOPLE who caNNOT USE THEIR WORDs

what was the actual question here i don’t even remember

oh right why the eight ball

probs bc it color coordinated with both his and beth’s outfits bc he is A Heaux Like That

[babymetaldoll]

The Super Secret Mystery Project (Insomnia II) (Matthew Gray Gubler / Reader)

Requested: Yes 

Summary: Matthew Gray Gubler proposes to Reader after seven years together 

Warning: You might die of an overdose of fluffiness. Sorry, I can’t help it. 

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler / Reader

Word count: 2,6 K

A/N: Thank you all for the nice comments and requests <3 

Part I  

Materlist

.

- “I need you to guard this for me”- Matthew Gray ran into the kitchen and nearly killed his girlfriend of a heart attack. She jumped on her spot and almost dropped the cake pan she was holding.  

- “Jesus!! Gubler!!”- but he just laughed and kissed her cheek sweetly, notoriously excited about something she didn’t know. 

- “Sorry Bunny!! Just keep this for me for a while, ok?”

Matthew placed an envelope in her pocket and wrapped his arms around her waist. 

- “What are you baking?” 

- “I’ve been craving an ice cream cake all week, and today I finally have time to do it”

- “Damn, sounds good, which ice cream’s flavors?” 

- “Oreo cookies and cream, and chocolate chip cookie dough”- Gubler kissed (Y/N)’s neck making her giggle as she kept pouring batter on the pan.

- “You are gonna make me get fat”

- “You don’t have to eat it”- (Y/N) turned and smiled at her boyfriend- “More for me.”

- “You wish, young lady, but that ice cream cake has to get the Gubler’s seal of approval before it’s served”- Matthew pecked her nose and moved to the fridge. His girlfriend stared at him with a sweet smile, thinking she was dating the most adorable manchild on earth.  

- “And what am I guarding by the way?” 

(Y/N) looked back at the pan and prepared it to get into the oven, and her boyfriend stayed quiet for a few seconds, trying to arrange his thoughts. It was an important deal, and he had to make sure it all turned out perfect. 

- “Remember that project I’ve been working on?”- he finally said, as casually as possible.

- “The “Super Secret Mystery Project”?”- she asked, thrilled to know more about it- “The one you’ve been working secretly for the last two weeks?”

- “Yes, that’s the one”- the actor took a sip of water and finally made his move- “I was thinking I could show it to you later”

- “Really? is it done?”- (Y/N) turned to him the second she closed the oven- “Can we see it now?”

- “Nope, you have to finish that cake first”- her instantaneous pout made him chuckle immediately.

- “Please?”

- “No, Bunny, you’ll have to wait.” 

The “Super secret mystery project” had taken Matthew Gray Gubler at least two weeks in the making, mostly because he had to do it at work, in between shots in the set. Why? ‘cos (Y/N) couldn’t see it, which meant he couldn’t do it home. 

Ever since the last time he was forced to spend a whole week home alone, he had made the decision: it was time to propose. But first, he had to find the perfect way to do it. 

There was no way on earth Gubler was going to do it over dinner in a restaurant. 

Neither on the beach at sunset. It had to be special. It had to be different. It had to be about them. Easier said than done, that’s why it took him exactly seventeen days to be completely ready to do it. And the day was that night. 

- “Ok Gubbilubie, the cake is in the freezer, can I see the “Super secret mystery project” now?”- (Y/N) literally jumped on the couch onto Gubler’s lap and pouted- “Please?”

- “Gubilubie? what the fuck?”

- “I don’t know, it just came to my mind in the desperation to get your… attention?”- she made up a bad excuse and snickered- “Come on, it wasn’t that bad… was it?”

- “Please never call me that again”- Matthew Gray pretended to get serious, but you could tell he was making his best not to smile. 

- “What? Gubilubie? why not? it sounds super cute”

- “I hate it”- he was lying

- “If you don’t want me to call you that again, show me the Super Secret Mystery Project.”

- “You love calling it by that name, don’t you?”- Gubler leaned and kissed (Y/N)’s lips softly a few times.  

- “What can I say… it’s a good name, just like Gubilubie”

- “Stop it”

(Y/N) smiled and watched him stand up and grab the remote control. 

- “Ok, so, it took me a while to master this project, it’s something I’ve had in mind for years, but it has always been hard for me to find the right time to do it… besides, I felt I needed more to add to the story, more character development, more… I don’t know, like one last push, maybe? I don’t know how to explain it”

- “Is this about the puppet show you were putting on the other day in your office?”

- “No”- Matthew laughed immediately- “Although, maybe I could add it… I’m not sure… it’s not a bad idea” 

- “Come on! show me the project!”- (Y/N) jumped on her seat and clapped excitedly. 

- “Fine, just… be honest and tell me what you think, ok?”

Matthew Gray Gubler was nervous. He had always said you had to get nervous when you were doing something important, ‘cos it meant you actually cared for it. Well, this time, he was truly nervous. Afraid even… hysterical, maybe, but making his best to look as cool as a cucumber. He loved that comparison, he was indeed a fan of cucumbers. Not ta fan of eating them, ‘cos he said they were disgusting, but he supported them. His words exactly.  

  The second he pushed play, there was no way back. 

- “Hi, I’m Matthew Gray Gubler”- the image of him sitting in his trailer waving at the camera made (Y/N) smile immediately- “And today, I’m here to make some magic, make you laugh, but mostly, to tell you a little story about this incredible girl who met this, badly groomed, awkward and hyperventilated looking dude a few years ago, and somehow, fell in love with him”. 

(Y/N) looked at him not getting what was going on. He just smiled and pointed at the screen. 

- “Keep watching, it gets better.” 

And it did. 

- “Hi, I’m (Y/N)”- on the screen, Gubler impersonated her voice and stood next to a real size cardboard cutout standup of her, in the middle of the bullpen set. There were people around him actually pretending that wasn’t weird at all and just kept working. 

- “Are you serious?!”- the real-life (Y/N) yelled and laughed as soon as she saw the screen- “What the fuck is this?”

- “Just keep watching, and don’t laugh, this is some serious work, Bunny, it might be the best thing I’ve ever directed”

- “Hello, I’m Matthew, nice to meet you, (Y/N)”- and in the scene, Gubler shook the cardboard hand and smiled- “You smell like cinnamon”

- “I just baked cinnamon rolls”

- “So, do you bake a lot?”- that had indeed been their first and awkward conversation the day they had met at a party one of their friends had thrown. 

- “No… yes, have someone ever told you how hot you are?”

- “Gubler!”- (Y/N) yelled and smacked his arm right away- “I didn’t say that!!”

- “It’s an adaptation, I’m sure you were thinking about it”

- “I was not thinking that!”

Yes, that was exactly what she had thought. 

- “Be quiet, I wanna know what happens next”- Matthew covered (Y/N)’s mouth with his hand and turned to the screen. 

- “And, would you like to go out sometime? maybe get some coffee?”- Gubler said to the cardboard.

- “Sure, sounds like a plan, you look like a nice, handsome young man who can make me happy”- (Y/N) turned and looked at Matthew with narrowed eyes, but didn’t make a noise. She was enjoying the super secret project way too much to keep talking. 

- “This is an incredible evening, so romantic!”- cardboard (Y/N) said. The scene was taking place in the Criminal Minds’s jet set- “I can’t believe you are taking me to London on our first date”

- “Why didn’t you do that in real life?”- she whispered and giggled, but he shushed her and pointed at the screen.

- “Pay attention!”

- “Anything for you, Bunny”

- “You are amazing Matthew Gray, you are the most handsome, intelligent and tall man I have ever met”- Gubler’s impersonation was so funny, his girlfriend couldn’t stop laughing  

- “You forgot I can also do magic”

- “I can’t believe it! you are perfect”- (Y/N) had to bit her lip to control the laughter. 

- “Would you like to see a trick?”

- “Of course, there is nothing on earth sexier than a guy who can do magic”

- “Great, let me get my special deck”

On the screen, Gubler started to prepare a magic trick, but now the camera was pretending to be (Y/N), so he was sitting right across from her. 

- “Take that deck of cards and pick nine cards”- on-screen Matthew said, and in real life, he pointed at a deck sitting on the coffee table

- “I think he wants you to do it”- he whispered and his girlfriend looked at him confused.

- “What?”

- “He said he was going to make a trick for you, so… try i”t- not getting what was actually going on, (Y/N) grabbed the deck and did as told. 

- “Do you’ve got your nine cards?”

- “Yup”- (Y/N) answered the screen feeling like a dork. Like a happy and excited dork.

- “Great, now shuffle them a little, then turn them, and fan them, so all the numbers are facing you, got it?”

- “Yes Mister Magician”- (Y/N) nodded at the screen and giggled, having the time of her life.

- “Spread them out, can you see all of them?”

- “Yes Gubidubi”

- “Stop it”- real-life Matthew whispered, making his girlfriend laugh

- “Shh, I’m doing a magic trick here, don’t interrupt me!”

He kept looking at her, now sitting on the floor, with his legs crossed, her eyes stuck at the screen. And he kept feeling his heart about to come out of his chest. That was indeed the biggest and more important project he had ever made. 

- “Now it’s time to pick a card, I’m gonna roll my lucky nine sides dice to pick it, ok?”- the two of them watched how Gubler did so on the screen- “Number two, so look at your second card from left to right, and memorize it, ok? ‘cos that’s your secret card, and you don’t have to forget it, alright?”

The girl nodded and looked at it.

- “I don’t know what cards you’ve got, so this is going to very hard to do… but trust me, Bunny, the Great Gubler is gonna blow your mind”

There was a short silence, ‘cos both on-screen, and real-life Matthew were looking at her at the same time, if possible. 

- “Get the cards together, turn them over, numbers down, and we are going to do my secret special shuffle, the one that’s going to do all the magic, ok?”

It was funny ‘cos (Y/N) was actually nodding at the screen, making Gubler chuckle. 

- “You have to spell your name putting the cards in a pile, ready? use one card for each letter”- and so, she did as asked- “Ready? now take the cards left in your hand and put them on top of the pile, and now hold all of them in your hand, got it?”

- “Yes!”- she wasn’t actually trying to hide her excitement

- "Awesome Bunny, now I want to be part of this so why don’t you spell my name with the cards, just like you did with yours”- (Y/N) frowned and looked at her real-life boyfriend

- “Just Matthew or can I use one of the million nicknames?”- but the answer came from the tv.

- “Spell Matthew, Bunny”- her jaw dropped, and yelled.

- “Witchcraft!!” 

Her boyfriend was really having a hard time trying no to laugh, he kept biting his lips as he smiled. So far, so good.

- “Are you done? now place the remaining cards on top of the pile, pick them all, and now put the first one facing down on the table”

- “Ok…”- she whispered 

- “Now the next one on top of it”

- “Alright…” 

- “Keep going, you can stop whenever you want to, and when you do, I want you to put the remaining cards on top of the others... if you don’t have any left, that’s cool, I just hope the trick isn’t ruined”

(Y/N) chuckled at Gubler’s face on the screen and did as told.

- “Now, as you can see, there’s no way I can know which card you selected ‘cos… well I’m not there, and I don’t know which card you selected, but, I am gonna give it a shot, ok?”

The fact she was nodding at the screen, forgetting Matthew was in fact sitting there next to her, was so far, his favorite part of the whole video. She was so into the trick, she had no idea what was coming up next. 

- “Ok Bunny, move a little closer to me and place your card facing down in your hand”- she crawled closer to the tv and giggled.

- "And now take the first three cards, don’t look at them, just hold them up and show them to me… no, neither of those, throw them away, we don’t need them, show me the next two”

And so she did, giggling nervously, thinking there was no way on earth that trick was ever going to work. 

- “Nope, your card ain’t there either, show me one more… nope, nothing… are you sure you shuffled this right? yes? sorry, don’t look at me like that! ok… you know what, none of those is your card, I’ve got the feeling you’ve got it hidden somewhere… hold it… I can feel it” 

(Y/N) frowned, confused and by instinct, her hand moved to the envelope her boyfriend had given her earlier. 

- “Yes Bunny… show me what’s in that envelope”- she knew it was the same man the whole time, but it was still freaky the guy on the tv knew everything she was doing in real life.

- “Now, open the envelope and show me the card…”- she did exactly what the magician asked her to do, and saw him smile.  

- “Finally! that’s your card, take look at it” 

When (Y/N) turned the card, she wide opened her eyes. It was actually the card she had picked, but it also had a note written on top of it with a handwriting she knew all too well, that said: “Turn around”. 

And when she did, she saw Matthew Gray Gubler kneeled in front of her holding the perfect engagement ring. 

- “I always thought magic was an illusion you create for an audience until I met you, and you made me feel the magic in life without any kind of trick, that’s why I want to be with you for the rest of my life, trying to make your days as magical as you make mine… so… (Y/N) (Y/L/N), would you marry me?” 

The tears and the smile across her face were all the answer Matthew needed, but it wasn’t until he heard her say “I do” that he didn’t let out the breath he had been holding ever since he had stopped talking. 

That was it, it was finally happening, in the most romantic, different, nerdy way Gubler could have thought about. And she had said yes. Anyone would have been sure she was going to accept, but he didn't want to take her for granted, it was the first mistake in a relationship. He hadn't done that in seven years, he wasn't going to start now. 

They held each other tight for a few minutes, whispering how much they loved each other. They kissed, they even cried a little (more than a little, actually), and finally, they sighed and smiled. 

- “Is it too soon to ask for some of that ice cream cake?- Gubler whispered in her ear and she laughed.” 

- “I was thinking about it... celebration cake?”

- “And then, celebration sex?”- they smiled at each other and nodded. 

- “I love you, Gub”

- “I love you, Bunny.” 

[stxvercgersslut]

Daddys okay

Pairing: Chris Evans x Toddler! Reader

Description: Filming and being a single parent to a 4 year old toddler just isn’t the greatest mix. Especially when it came to Filming a death scene.

Warnings: mentions of Death but it’s fake, sad toddler, lots of fluff towards the end

A/n: Reader is 4 years old in this fic.

“What? Seriously? Come on Ellie I really need you today.....y/n’s kindergarten shut because of a damn water pipe bursting and flooding the entire building ...please Ellie. I’ll give you the day off some other time but I really need you to babysit y/n today. It’s gonna be a long day” Chris begged through the phone. Today was one of the longest days on set that he was going to face. It was a huge scene that he had been practicing for so long, constantly anxious about it because it entailed his character dying. These scenes were usually the messiest and most difficult ones to shoot, especially since sometimes he just didn’t know how to act dead. It wasn’t like he’d ever experienced it. However, what made it so much more stressful was the fact that your usual babysitter, Ellie, who you adored, had to study for her up coming college assignment meaning that she couldn’t watch you for him. But he had to suck it up. Of course sparing small glances towards you every so often. Smiling as he saw you sitting on the living room couch watching Peppa Pig and giggling like you always did. It was so adorable and sometimes Chris just lost himself in listening to your little giggles, purposely pulling funny faces, tickling you, playing with you or just telling jokes to you when he felt at his lowest, just to hear you laugh. Being a single parent was hard but knowing that you were content and happy made it all worth it.

There was a long pause of nothing but silence, possibly a connection loss or maybe Ellie was attempting to find time in her schedule to actually be of any help. But nonetheless Chris stayed silent. Just gazing over at you for a while until “I’m sorry Mr Evans but I really can’t take care of y/n today. I wish I could but my college finals are soon and I have so much work to do. If I could look after her I would, you know I love seeing y/n but today I can’t” Ellie explained, of course sounding rough since she most likely felt awful for even declining to look after you. Of course Chris understood but it was still a huge inconvenience especially since he knew no one else would be able to look after you.

With a deep sigh Chris finally spoke again “erm...okay it’s fine Ellie. I’ll still say you for today, don’t study too hard” and with that he hung up, stressfully running a hand over his sculpted bearded chin in thought. Well this was going to be a fun day.

“Y/n? Baby can you come here please? Daddy needs to talk to you, it’s really important” Chris spoke, finishing up with pouring Ceral and milk into a bowl for you before smiling a little when you wandered into the kitchen, peppa pig still playing in the background since you still hadnt completely figured out exactly how to tell you about what was going to happen today. What scared him more was the fact that you were so young and still growing. If you saw the scene he was filming today you’d most likely get traumatised. Which was something he definitely didn’t want for you.

Once you had finally wandered close enough to to him, Chris picked you up, setting you on his hip as he placed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Ew daddy!” You said with a little giggle, pushing as his chest a little since you didn’t really like all of the affection he gave you. But how could he stop himself? You were his daughter after all! And he should be allowed to make you feel loved with lots of cuddles and forehead kisses, maybe a trip to the park here and there as well. “Sorry princess” he spoke, chest vibrating as he laughed. “Okay now I know I said Ellie was looking after you bu-“

“I love Ellie!” You cheered, a wide smile on his face as you interrupted him. He should have been mad, should have told you off for interrupting him but he couldn’t. You were 4 and after all you would learn. It’d just take a little while to teach you manners. “I know you do sweetheart but today you’re going to come with daddy to work.” He admitted, watching as your face scrunched up in confusion whilst panning you’re head around, soon spotting you cereal and of course attempting to go to it.

“Y/n..” he warned, his stern father like fine coming out as you refused to look at him, still trying to grab at your cereal cause you were hungry. “cereal!” Was all you said with a slight whine before chris sighed in defeat, slowly sitting you in your toddler seat at the dining table before passing you your favourite cereal Which of course you began to devour quite quickly.

“Y/n? Sweetheart did you hear what I said? Do you wanna come to work with daddy today? If not I guess I can try fine you another babysitter but that might be hard considering I have half an hour before I need to leave for work” he explained, watching as you just happily ate your cereal before looking up at Chris with a wide smile nodding happily. “Yeah!!! I wanna see what daddy does for work!” You spoke loudly, still eating which caused milk to spill from your mouth and literally go everywhere. You were most certainly a messy eater, but he couldn’t complain. How could he? You were only 4 years old. If he yelled at you every time you did something like this then you wouldn’t be a child anymore, you’d just be growing up too fast. Which believe me he didn’t want. Smiling happily, Chris helped you out of your chair once you’d finished. “Alright sweetheart, lets get you dressed and ready.” He spoke, quickly placing your bowl in the sink to be washed up later before once again picking you up and walking upstairs with you whilst you just giggled hysterically since he was bouncing you a little every single time he walked up a step. You were so innocent and it loved it. Knowing he could come home from a long day at work and just play with you or just watch as you watched some kids program on the tv always seemed to brighten his day. Even when he felt at his worse you were always there.

“Okay pumkin, lets get you dressed stay still alright” he spoke with a soft smile on his face, quickly grabbing your favourite long sleeved princess t-shirt. “Arms up” he spoke, instantly smiling when you tried to actually put your arms up but obviously started just flailing your arms around since you didn’t wanna stay still.

Okay that’s fine, he couldn’t deal with that this morning. So he just worked with it, helping you pull you pjs off and dressing you in a cute little princess shirt and some black leggings before helping pull your teddy bear fluffy sweater over your head and put your ugg boots on before finally picking you up again. It was a difficult task of course since you just wouldn’t stay still enough for him to actually help you with your clothes. But since he had around 15 minutes left before he needed to leave he just dealt with it. Deciding that if you looked a little scruffy due to trying to get away to go play then it would be fine. After all you were just a toddler, you didn’t have to look presentable all the time. To say that you looked adorable would be an understatement. But you looked even cuter when he aided you into your fluffy winter coat. It was practically the coldest day of the year today so of course he wanted you to be warm. But the fact that you looked to adorable was just a bonus.

It was a good 20 minutes later that the two of you finally got to set, where Chris helped you shrug out of you coat before picking you back up and holding you in his arms. This was a shock to all of his co-workers, why would bring you to set? Especially on a day where he was literally going to be ‘dying’ for a scene that he was already way too nervous about.

“Chris?” His director asked curiously as he looked towards him, a little puzzled by your presence on set. “You sure this is a good idea?” He asked, glancing towards you who’d practically began to fall asleep in Chris’s arms. “No I’m not sure....but I don’t get a choice....my moms busy today, Scott’s working and my babysitter had to study so this was the only other option...” he began, rocking you ever so gently in soft circles to help you sleep. Not that you would actually doze off since the loud noises that were sounding in the set of course startled you enough to just instantly wake you up completely. You definitely wouldn’t sleep now. Well it was worth a shot.

“Okay okay....but I don’t agree with this. She’s only young and she requires a lot of attention”

“I know I know but I couldn’t just leave her at home on her own”

“I guess that’s true. But you might want to explain to her that none of this is real”

“That won’t work but I guess I can try” he spoke with a. Sigh. This was the most stressful day of Chris’s life. Of course it was. Especially due to the fact that you were there. This was going to be difficult. Yet he had to at least do something.

So that’s exactly what he did. Quickly he ran off to his trailer, still holding you in his arms as he opened the door. Thankfully running into one of his female co-stars on the way. Who thankfully, happily agreed to looking after you for a few hours whilst she wasn’t needed. This a had thankfully calmed him down a whole lot more. But he was still quite on edge, still afraid that he little girl was going to get hurt. Even if he knew that you were in safe hands he would still worry about you. It was just apart of being a dad. However, worrying about the smallest little things was also his speciality so it was no wonder that he was worrying.

————————————————————

You were happy with Chris’s co-star. She was extremely kind, loving and extremely fun to be around when it came to playing different types of games. Especially since you were quite a playfully toddler anyway. It was only fair that you would want to play. As long as you got to see Chris every so often then you’d be fine.

Thankfully Chris has managed to get a couple breaks in between the scenes that he wasn’t needed for. But that wasn’t easy. Especially since he always had to leave again. And right now he’s been gone for 3 hours. Clearly being needed for a while if he was gone this long.

At some point however, you had actually managed to sneak away from the female co-star your father had stupidly left you with. How could he just leave you with a women you didn’t even know before this moment? Exactly it wasn’t fair. Even though you actually quite enjoyed playing with her, you just wanted your father. Of could you did. Chris was the only one you trusted after all.

What was even more miraculous then the fact that you’d actually managed to run out of the trailer park and run off onto the set. For a 4 year old who still was completely confident on her feet you were very speedy when you started to run. That was the craziest part about you. However, when you were met with when you finally found Chris was something that you wished you’d never even seen.

This was the dreaded scene. during this particular sequence Chris’s character was getting beaten by two men that were supposed to be stronger then him for the purpose of the film. Yet both men were so much less musical then Chris, so if he actualllyvwavted to take the men then he most likely could have.

“Daddy?” You whimpered sadly as you stared straight over at the scene. Watching as one of the taller men grabbed at his hair throwing Chris, or more his character yet you didn’t know that, to the ground and beginning to pretend to kick him. But you were too young to understand. All you knew was that your beloved father was getting attacked and you would do anything in the entire world to protect him. Which was why your began to run straight over to him, although you stoped dead in your tracks upon hearing the unfamiliar sound of three ‘gun shots’ being fired in Chris’s characters direction. Causing him to go limp on the door as a way of acting dead. The fake blood that had been used had further more proved that this was real.

“Daddy no!” You cried, running over to Chris at the exact same time that the director had shouted cut.

The sound of your broken trembling voice was enough to startle Chris as he jumped up from his position, sighing as he saw the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. Tearing him apart at the mear sound of it. “Baby...awe I’m so sorry” he hummed, pulling you into his heat as he sat you down in his lap, still not moving from the set since he wanted to calm you down first. That was his first task. He didn’t even give a shit right now if he go t tired or not. He wanted to know that you were alright. Cradling you’re close in his arms as he whispered little promises in your ear whilst you sobbed. “daddy’s okay, daddy’s alive” he continued to whispere. We. At least he knew you cared

Tag list: @jtargaryen18 @et-lesailes @chuckbass-love @cevans-fics

[backtothestart02]

A Weekend of Firsts - 2/? | grandice fanfiction

A/N: Welp, this is gonna be more than 3 chaps, I fear. Enjoy? XD

...

Chapter 2 -

Grant stepped out of the shower the next morning and wondered what his life had become. Not a night of tossing and turning or cooking up his usual hangover fix for the minor headache he woke up with or what should’ve been an extremely relaxing, invigorating hot shower had erased the memory of Candice in his arms the night before.

The feel of her body arching up against his and her tongue sneaking into his mouth, her lips pressed to his in sloppy, passionate kisses, her legs wrapped around his own still remained ingrained into the forefront of his mind.

And her neck.

God, her neck.

He could spend forever drawing moans from sucking kisses down her neck.

It was everything he’d been dreaming of since first meeting her during their chemistry test months ago.

He’d convinced himself she must not be interested if all his flirting and paying her attention in the last month and a half, in addition to when they shot the pilot, got nothing but an obligatory smile and some laughter at his jokes.

Finally, he’d found someone who thought he was hysterical though. That was a relief. He was starting to think he maybe wasn’t that funny.

But it was nothing that a friend wouldn’t do. He couldn’t resist flirting with her, but if all she wanted was friendship, he’d shut it down as soon as she said it was too much.

Last night he’d learned it wasn’t too much at all, and she actually did feel the same. She just didn’t want to act on it, and he couldn’t figure out why.

There was a voice in the back of his head yelling at him for having taken her back to her room before things got really heated the night before. But he knew it wasn’t right. He’d been tipsy at best, and she’d definitely been drunk. If they were ever to have a real chance, he had to do things the right way.

After getting dressed, he returned to see what was left of his hangover concoction in the kitchenette part of his suite. Luckily, the kitchen downstairs had had all the ingredients he needed to make it. He’d just needed to call for room service to deliver, and deliver they did. Since he hadn’t had much, given his headache had been pretty minor, there was more than enough left to deliver to Candice, who definitely would need some.

His only problem was would she let him in the door or would she be mad at him for making him leave in the midst of their little…almost sex. He winced, but then decided to push it out of his mind as best as he could. He gathered the drink in his arms, grabbed his room key and padded the short distance down the hall to her room.

He knocked lightly on the door. No answer. He tried again, this time a little louder.

“Candice?”

He heard a moan in response. That was good news. She was responsive and probably still in bed. He couldn’t be coming at a better time. Probably.

She still didn’t come to the door though, so he knocked again.

“Candice?”

“I didn’t order room service!” she called out, and he smiled, imagining her pout and her frazzled hair as she stretched out enough to yell at the closed door.

He had to compose himself before continuing.

“It’s not room service. It’s me.” He paused. “Grant.”

There was a really long pause then, to the point that he wondered if she’d gone back to sleep.

“Candice?”

He was super close to knocking again, his hand raised to the door in in a loose fist. Luckily – or not, for him – she responded just before his knuckle hit the smooth wood.

“Go away,” she said grumpily.

His heart fell in the pit of his stomach, but he told himself not to take it personally.

“I have something,” he tried. “For your…headache.”

He heard some huffing on the other side and then the sound of the heavy door opening before he was faced with a frazzled looking Candice Patton. He held up the green drink innocently.

She huffed, but took it straight out of his arms, downing it as fast as she could.

“Wait, that’s not what I-”

She didn’t listen, only took a breath halfway through to mutter, “This tastes disgusting.”

He chuckled lightly but couldn’t get a word in until she’d finished the batch.

“What is it?” she asked, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

He grimaced. “You don’t want to know.”

She eyed him up and down, looking highly suspicious.

“What?” he asked, grinning now.

“You look better than I do.” She pouted. He found it adorable.

“I’ve showered and dressed. You’ll look better than me in no time if you do the same.”

She sighed, shoved the glass back at his chest and closed the door.

Once again, he was alone in the hall.

“I’ll see you down at breakfast,” she said from the other side, and he supposed that was the best he was going to get.

“See you down there,” he muttered to himself, and before long he found himself headed down the hall and entering the elevator alone.

…

Candice waited until she heard the elevator doors close before turning around and leaning back against the door.

She was in Hell. Literal Hell.

Well, maybe not so much after the drink. She might not have to vomit so much anymore, and she could already feel her headache dissipating.

But what was she going to do about Grant?

Here he was being so kind and thoughtful, and he was an actual gentleman last night. He’d saved her from making the biggest mistake of her life. Putting her current job in jeopardy by messing with their onscreen chemistry due to pursuing an offscreen relationship with her number one co-star.

A one-night stand? What had she been thinking?

She’d been drunk and horny, and he’d been right there was what she’d been thinking.

And it wasn’t just that he’d been conveniently positioned beside her. He was the guy she couldn’t stop thinking about even if she wanted to. She wanted to be in that bed with him, with him kissing her, making love to her – or about to. She’d wanted that almost since she met him.

They just had a…a spark.

It was what made their onscreen chemistry so good. It wasn’t just onscreen. It was everywhere. It was in the looks, the dancing, the laughter, the sincerity. And now she knew, she was 100% certain that it was mutual. He wanted her just as badly.

It hurt her to know that though, because obviously they couldn’t risk what they had for something that could be fleeting.

Well, how fleeting could it be if her feelings for him had been just as strong from when they first met till now? If not stronger?

She nibbled on her bottom lip and headed into the bathroom, hoping a shower would erase all things Grant Gustin from her mind.

Of course it didn’t. She felt refreshed when she stepped out onto the towel she’d placed on the tile floor, another towel wrapped around her body and her hair. She didn’t feel hungover. She felt like she could take on the day.

But her heart still felt heavy, and it yearned for him.

Hell, she even dressed for him. She wore what she wanted to wear for herself, of course, but she was thinking of him while she did it. Would he like it? Would he stare? Would he even notice?

She shook her head, trying to rid her thoughts of him again, but it was impossible.

Finally, she slipped into her shoes to head downstairs to breakfast, where she recalled she’d told him she’d meet him. How would she survive that? Without blushing? Without staring at his lips? Without either shunning him or asking to pick up where they left off?

What would he say if she decided on the latter? Maybe all she needed was a one-night stand to get him out of her system.

Maybe…

As it turned out, she didn’t have to go far at all. When she opened her hotel room door, there he stood with a plate of bagels, fruit, and cereal, and an orange juice to drink.

“Hey,” he said, that ridiculously sexy grin back on his face. “They, uh, were closing up. So I quick grabbed some stuff for you and just brought it up. I hope…is this okay?”

“Yeah, totally,” she said immediately. “Thank you.”

She reached for the tray, then found herself grasping air as he moved past her into the room.

“Uh…okay.”

“Sorry, I just wouldn’t want you to spill anything on your pretty dress.” He looked over his shoulder after setting the tray down on her bed. “It is pretty by the way.” He turned all the way around and approached her. “You’re pretty.”

She swallowed, her eyes dipping to his lips again, then figured this is it, now or never, before she could talk herself out of it.

She went up on her tiptoes and tried to reach his lips, but she was too short. She almost tripped over herself instead, floundering. He caught her though, gripping her elbows to keep her steady. She couldn’t look at him. She was so embarrassed.

“Candice,” he whispered, and hesitantly, so hesitantly, she looked up at him.

He caught her lips with his own and kissed her, his lips slanting over hers to escalate and deepen the kiss. Candice’s arms swung up and around his neck, and he pulled her flush against him, kissing her harder, giving himself over to her, everything he had to that kiss, pushing her up against the wall and kissing, kissing, kissing until he couldn’t breathe – and she probably couldn’t either – and lifting his head.

“W-w-wow, whoa.”

Trembling, she let her hands fall from around his neck, one lifting to her lips. She could still feel the pressure, the buzz, his lips had created there.

“That was…”

“Yeah,” he said, and his voice was gravelly.

She laughed nervously.

“Your voice is really hot after you’ve been kissing someone.” She licked her lips.

He managed to smirk, then sunk his fingers into her hair.

“Just after I’ve been kissing you, I think.”

She smiled tremulously. Then without warning, she seemed to figure out that he wasn’t exactly in clothes meant for panels, interviews, autographs, etc.

“What?” he asked, finding the little crease in her forehead absolutely adorable.

“I uh…you probably need to change your clothes, right?”

He looked down. “Yeah.”

“And um…wipe my lipstick off your lips?” She reached up to wipe it away, but he caught her hand and met her eyes.

“Nah, I think I’ll keep it there.”

“But what if someone sees?”

“Who’s gonna see? We’re not even famous yet.”

His eyes were twinkling in the faint light of the room, and Candice found herself absolutely enraptured by them.

“Please?” she requested, biting her bottom lip.

He groaned aloud.

“I can’t resist you, Candice.”

Reaching down, he used a fistful of his t-shirt to wipe the lipstick free of his face.

“Better?” he asked.

She frowned.

“Now what?”

“Well, now it’s on your shirt! It won’t take much for people to-”

He cut her off by pressing his lips to hers in a quick kiss, then moving past her towards the door.

“I’m one door down. It’ll be fine. No one’s in the hall. They’re all in the lobby.”

“Wait!”

He stopped and turned around right as he set his hand on the doorknob.

“You want me to go shirtless?” He leaned towards her. “Because I will if you want me to.”

“No!” she said, scandalized all at once. “I don’t want anyone to-”

“See what belongs to only you?” He grinned unashamedly.

“Oh, my God, no.” Her face licked with flames. She could hardly breathe. “I mean, you don’t belong to me. We’re not together. This was just…just…”

“A hot kiss between co-workers offscreen?”

She couldn’t speak.

He pressed another quick kiss to her face, but this one hit her cheek since her mouth was hanging open.

“I’ll see you at the first panel. Maybe we’ll meet in the elevator, and…kiss some more.”

He winked, and then he was opening the door and disappearing into the hall.

Candice’s mouth was still hanging open when the door shut. She stood with her back to it much like she’d done hardly an hour or two earlier. She couldn’t remember what time it had been, only that she felt much more frazzled than she’d looked then.

She’d just made out with Grant. Again. While not drunk. And she hadn’t put a stop to it. She’d initiated it even!

She blew a lock out of her face and slowly slumped against the wood until her butt hit the carpeted floor.

Oh, damn.

[somethinginthewayiam]

Press tour confessions Part 1

Pairing: Henry x reader

Warnings: none, a little fluff, angst

Words: 1914

Summary: You’re part of the cast of Mission Impossible Fallout and joined your costars on the press tour in Japan. A question of an interviewer gets out a confession of you that Henry can’t seem to let go...

A/N: after seeing videos of the MI Fallout press tour in Japan, I came up with a little something. Wanted to do just a little paragraph, but I can’t keep things short, even if my live depended on it. Hope you like it!

You were part of the Mission Impossible Fallout cast and joined Tom, Simon, Henry, Vanessa and Rebecca on the press tour in Japan.

They paired you with Simon, Tom and Henry for the second part of the day when you got to play some games for a Japanese game show.

The game up next was feeling a mystery object inside a box. Everybody else could see but you. The three men had solved their boxes with ease and composure but you were always a little easy to squeal.

When it was your turn, you expected the worst. “Oh no, Y/N, you’re not gonna like this”, came from Simon somewhere close by. You had actually closed your eyes as you started to reach your hand inside the box. After hearing Simons words, you immediately pulled your hand back.

“Stop it, Simon!”, you exclaimed, pressing the hand against your chest. You saw Henry next to you out of the corner of your eye. “Hold my hand, Henry”, you said and stuck your other hand out towards him. He took it with a chuckle.

You started to put your hand inside the box again, the Japanese woman on the other side of the box doing the same. “Come on, Y/N, you got this”, you heard Tom, always the encouraging friend he is.

With shaky fingers, your hand inches forward, your eyes closed again. You reached further and further until the tip of your index finger touched something cold. Without thinking, your finger pressed even further into the thing and you felt something liquid run over your finger.

You immediately pulled your hand back with a high squeal that would make every Japanese girl proud. You even jumped back a step, landing against Henry’s chest. He wrapped his arms around you, laughing. He, of course, already knew what it was.

“What the hell was that?”, you asked out of Henry’s arms. Simon and Tom laughing hysterically. Simon went over to the box, reached inside and pulled something brown out. “It’s just a wet sponge, Y/N. I had god damn soup!”, he cackled and put the sponge on top of the box. “Ewww, that’s gross. Come on, you guys”, you exclaimed into the room. Henry let go of you so he could press his own finger into the sponge to see how wet it was.

You heard the voice translating the Japanese into English in your ear and suddenly heard your name. “Excuse me? I didn’t quite catch that”, you said and pointed at your ear.

One of the Japanese hosts turned to you and repeated what he said. A second later, you heard it in your earpiece. “Are you and Henry together? A couple?”

Your co-stars got the same translation over their earpieces and Henry’s head shot over to you as you two were still standing next to each other.

“Oh, uhm, no, we’re not together”, he cleared up. “No, no, he doesn’t want me”, you spoke almost at the same time Henry did.

“God knows I tried”, you added jokingly and made Simon and Tom laugh. Henry looked a bit irritated at you, but smiled for the cameras.

 When the taping for the game show was over, press was done for the day and you were on your way back to your hotel. The four of you, assistants and your PR people headed out of the room together and into the elevator. “What was that in there?”, Henry suddenly asked you. You two were standing at the back of the elevator. “What exactly? There were a lot of strange things happening in that room just now”, you remarked. “The part where you said, you tried, when they asked if we were together”, Henry reminded you.

“Oh, this is gonna be good”, you heard Simon as he turned around to face you. Tom was talking to his assistant. “Why? What about it?”, you asked him and felt a little uncomfortable. Was the elevator getting smaller?

“Why did you say that? There wasn’t anything going on between us when we were filming”, he reminded you. “I’m aware, believe me”, you told him and felt your cheeks blushing. “Dude, she was totally in love with you, everybody knew”, Simon stepped in. “Woah, hey, I wouldn’t say in love, alright?”, you put your hands up in defense towards Simon. “It was more like a crush”, you added towards Henry, barely able to look at him. He only looked back at you in total surprise.

“I thought you knew? Like Simon said, everybody knew”, you told Henry. “I clearly didn’t”, he replied. “Well, now you do”, Simon grinned. “Well, don’t worry about it. I knew I was bad at flirting”, you waved it off. “Not so bad that someone wouldn’t even notice, but bad enough”, you added mumbling but both, Simon and Henry, heard you.

“Hey, Tom, when I say to you, what was the one thing on set about Y/N everyone knew about, what am I talking about?”, Simon turned over to his friend. “That she had a crush on Henry”, Tom answered without skipping a beat. “He didn’t know”, Simon added and pointed behind him towards Henry. “Hey, even I knew and I had a broken ankle to worry about”, Tom laughed and turned back to his assistant.

“Could you please stop talking like we’re not here?”, Henry said over everybody’s head as he was the tallest in the little room.

“When is this elevator ride finally over? Good god!”, you exhaled loudly, staring at the ceiling of the metal box you were in. You had enough of it when you were the joke on set, you didn’t need seconds on that embarrassment.

The doors finally opened and you were able to get out and get some literal space between you and Henry. “We’re gonna talk about this”, Henry said before you parted ways as you rode in separate cars. Tom, Simon and Henry had another thing to go to, you would drive back to the hotel with Vanessa and Rebecca.

“But there is nothing to talk about. Henry!”, you called out as he already got into his car and left you standing there. You grunted in frustration before you got in your own car. “Do we want to know what just happened?”, Vanessa asked as you put your seatbelt on. “I’m sure Simon will be more than happy to tell you at dinner”, you pouted as the car started driving, referring to the cast dinner that night before the big premier tomorrow.

 You’d think that Henry would have forgotten all about it during his next appointment with Tom and Simon and that’s why it caught you by surprise when he knocked on your hotel room door a few hours later. You were in the middle of getting ready for dinner, when you heard the knocks and quickly put on the hotel robe before you opened the door.

“Henry? What’s up? Am I late for dinner?”, you asked with furrowed brows. “No, I wanted to talk about what happened today at that game show taping”, he reminded you. “Wow, you really can’t let this go, can you?”, you asked almost a bit annoyed. You were finally starting to get over him, although, doing the press tour with him got in the way of your plans of getting over your crush.

“Let’s go downstairs and get a drink at the bar”, he offered. “Henry, this conversation wouldn’t even last long enough for us to order”, you sighed. He looked at you with an indecisive expression on his face.

“Listen, Henry. I don’t really get what you want from me here? Yes, I had a crush on you, yes, I flirted with you and you obviously didn’t notice either. End of story”, you concluded. For the fact that you were talking so openly to your crush about your crush on him, you were weirdly calm.

“Can we not discuss this out here? May I come in, please?”, he asked. “Again, not knowing what’s here to discuss, but, yeah, come in”, you said with a shrug and stepped aside for Henry to enter your hotel room. You closed the door behind him and followed him into the little suite.

“Why is this riling you up so much, Henry? You must be used to people crushing on you all the time”, you told him. You walked over to the couch, standing behind the backrest, leaning against it with your hips. Henry stood across the room next to the tv.

“But you’re not just people”, he said and you had trouble, interpreting what that could mean. So, you decided to just let it slide.

“You didn’t know about it until a few hours ago and lived your life happily. And I moved on too. This happens to me constantly, believe me”, you told him, trying to ease the mood and somehow get him to back off.

“You moved on? Are you seeing someone?”, he asked. “Oh, what, me? No!”, you had to hold back a laugh as he wouldn’t understand how absurd that sounded to you. “No, I…just seem to have…let’s call it a pattern. I work with someone, I think he’s cute and I develop a crush. I flirt or at least try to and it never pans out. And in the end, I somehow get over it one way or another”, you told him. You didn’t know why you were so open with him all of a sudden.

You became friends while filming, but due to your crush, you always were a little inhibited around him.

“I’m sure you have a girlfriend back home”, you said to put the focus on him for a change. “Not really, no. I’m mean, I’m seeing someone, kind of”, he said to you. “Kind of?”, you raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, just a few dates, nothing serious. I don’t even know if I want to go any further”, he told you.

“But see? There you go. And although I probably don’t know her, I already know she’s better at getting your attention then I am”, you joked. Too soon?

“But you must be seeing someone, come on”, he said after a few moments of silence and it sounded like he was insisting on it. “No, I’m not”, you shook your head. “Come on, you can tell me”, he said like he wanted a confession from you. You almost told him that if you were seeing someone, you’d make sure that everyone knew that someone finally wanted you, but pushed that joke back down.

“I’m not! Really. I’m never seeing anybody”, you said and wished it was just a joke. “Why?”, he asked. “BECAUSE NO ONE SEES ME!”, you blurted out in frustration. You felt a lump forming in your throat and tears were burning in the corners of your eyes.

Henry looked at you a bit shocked. You slowly realized what you’d just said and how you’d said it and felt your cheeks burning.

“Alright, I think I have embarrassed myself enough for one day. Also, I have to get ready for dinner”, you told him, although you weren’t hungry anymore.

“Y/N, I didn’t mean to offend you”, Henry apologized. “I don’t get offended that easily, Henry, so keep your apologies”, your voice was a mix of sadness and defeat. “I’ll see you downstairs”, you said and walked back into the bathroom, closing the door behind you. You assumed that Henry would find his way out.

A/N: Did you like it? Would you want to read more? I kinda think it has potential for a sequel, but I’m not sure... Let me know what you think!

UPDATE: I continued the story due to popular demand. You can find Part 2 here!

[fictionbyafangirl]

Tundric Heart

Most shifts that Jill worked were uneventful. The co-workers that she shared shifts with were always the same. Clark was the cook, and if need-be, the bouncer. He was a large, middle-aged man that had served in the army for a few decades. Burly when he had to be, he could be intimidating, but to Jill, he was just the sweetest. Typically, the waitresses had around an hour or two of overlap, which usually meant Trina, a woman who worked three jobs while finishing up college. She was honestly an inspiration and Jill admired her hard work. Trina always set the brunette up for a successful shift.  Her regulars were there nightly, without fail. 

“Can I get you gentlemen a refill?” She’d usher coffee to Glenn and his brother, Jack, as they wrote up itineraries for their senior’s club right at the bar. The eldest brother, Glenn, preferred his coffee black and straight up. It was amazing how he could swallow the piping-hot liquid just as soon as it was poured. Jack, on the other-hand, liked a bit of sweetness and cream to his, a stack of half-and-half cups usually towered next to his saucer that housed his brew. 

“Maybe one more before we go,” Jack mused aloud before placing a sticky note down in his planner. “It seems like a chilly night and I’ll need all the warmth I can get when I leave.” He was cheeky, and Glenn’s chuckle showed that he agreed. Jill topped their mugs off with her customary smile before saddling the pot once more to make her rounds.

“How are you doing over here, Miss Bernice? Need any refills or can I put in a to-go order?” Bernice, and her binder of papers scattered all across the table, did the books for her local church congregation.  She had been born in the city and lived her entire life, practically knowing everyone that lived in the area. Her strawberry blonde hair had shifted to a pearlescent white over the years, with one streak of her natural color still weaving its way through. 

“You know, I would love another glass of sweet tea, if you could, dear?” Bernice was sweet, grandmotherly in her nature as she smiled with her whole face, her eyes nearly disappearing behind the pleats in her matured skin.

“You got it,” Jill winked before departing from the table to her station with the glass in hand. With ease she punched the addition to Bernice’s order before finding the massive pitcher of sweet tea that Trina had stored in the fridge at the end of her shift. Within a minute, she had the refill back to the woman, glancing to her next table to tend to.. “All set, dear.”

Holliwell, or as she would become known as: Holli, would sit in her booth, solo, to work on her graphic novel. She wasn’t much of a talker, but was kind enough. Jill and Holli mostly stuck to a series of nods and hand gestures, particularly a thumbs-up, for their communication after initially serving her what she normally ordered. The gang of college guys that lived together always had their dinner at the diner, and they always were Jill’s source of entertainment. The group consisted of Matt, Jerome, Steven, Jared and Paul. They were lively, comedic and good-natured. The young men were roommates that rented a house a few blocks from the diner. As typical, collegiate bachelors go, they weren’t blessed in the culinary department and often found themselves at their usual spot with two tables pushed together. They inflicted some harmless flirting onto her, to which she respectfully declined and they would carry on with their stay. 

The night would always entail the same, expected things and Jill was comfortable with that as opposed to the opposite. She had worked in a rowdy bar once while trying to make ends meet in her own school days. Between sports nights and events held at the bar, she was constantly having to take care of conflict. She had been thankful for bouncers and speedy policemen before she couldn’t handle the chaos anymore. Simple and quiet suited her as she grew in age, and nonetheless, she loved the relationships she had built with her regulars. Whether it was hearing about their prime or just simply what they had done that very day, she was a welcome ear to chat at. That evening that she worked, everything had been happening like clockwork, that is, until he walked in. 

The moment he walked through the door, Jill couldn’t help but to keep an eye on him, subtly watching him take his seat. She hadn’t been the only one who’s attention was grabbed by him. Instantly, Bernice’s watchful eye was on him the moment she heard the chime of the door, casting her eyes back to the array of numbers she balanced, though occasionally checking on him. He was clad in all black like a walking mystery shrouded in secrecy. He was a mixup from her typical shift. Since he shielded his face with his hat, she wasn’t sure if she should approach him, but her better judgement told her to treat him as if he were any other customer. Jill topped off Glenn’s coffee, almost forgetting to pay attention as her focus was pulled elsewhere. 

Thankfully, she regained her rights and made sure her current customers were taken care of before making her way to the mob of young adult men who were particularly rambunctious this night. She overheard garbled conversation of advancing to the state playoffs which filled in all the gaps she needed to know. With her order booklet ready, she made rounds. They typically didn’t venture from what they frequently ordered, which made Jill’s life a tad bit easier.

“Hey Jill, when are you going to let me take you out of this place to a real restaurant?” Paul smirked at her, having given similar variations of the same line to her in the past. The blonde man with brown eyes was a football player for the local college, hoping to make it big. In fact, they all played for the football team. Paul had always been the most vocal about his flirting, clearly having not been turned down in his hometown very often. Jill didn’t know if his jaw could drop any faster than it had the very first time he asked her out and she declined. He recovered quickly and played it off as though he had only been half-serious, but she could see he had been slightly jilted with the word ‘no’. 

“When you can afford me, so… never?” She was quick and clever when it came to shooting them down. The boys had never gone beyond playful, to which she was thankful for. “So, who is next? Who’s gonna shoot their shot now?” Jill gestured for the next grab, though it was evident that she was being lighthearted with them. All were hysterical, always prompting laughter from the waitress’ lips. They varied in the degree of their attempt, Paul usually being the worst and Steven being the gentlest. Matt was from the Northeast with his evident accent that he swore he didn’t have. Jerome was from the south, vowing to make his mother proud with his grades and athletics scholarship. Jared was from the Northwest, a country boy that tended to the family farm but broke off with bigger aspirations in life. Steven was a lean Asian man that defied his family to play football. They had planned his life for him, which he didn’t dream of. Jill was proud of him for standing his ground to live his own life. He was, by far, the sweetest of the bunch with his pickup lines, which the waitress surmised was just to fit into the situation. Everyone else was doing it, so he figured he would, as well. It almost made her want to accept his proposal just to mess with his friends, but almost wasn’t enough to convince her of doing so. She addressed each one, waiting for the playful pickup lines before shutting them down with grace, poise and a smile on her face. It was flattering that they found her attractive despite having ten-or-so years on them. She took pride in how she kept herself together, applying extra effort when need be, but she took care of herself and apparently it showed. 

As she jotted down each meal order, Jill couldn’t help but to feel as though she were being watched by a spectre in the corner. He had been so silent, so still the entire time. It was eerie, yet she wanted to see his face, which was beyond her. She wanted to find out the reasoning behind the masking. She wasn’t sure what to expect beneath the hat, nor did she know if she’d even get that far. Finishing with the young men, she took a minute to go pin the checks to the order wheel, momentarily shielded by the walls that formed the cook’s alcove. Using a small mirror, she used her fingertips to give her hair a tousle and re-apply her lipstick, a warm nude color, rubbing her lips gently together. The man was new to the diner and it was her job to ensure he had a pleasant time to return. Jill’s boss had confided in her the troubles the diner had hit so any customer was a step toward keeping the doors open. 

Jill drew in a long breath that rooted itself in her stomach, her chest raising and falling as though weighted down with an anxious feeling before walking out toward the table that sat the cloaked gentleman. She couldn’t for the life of her figure out why she was so curious and intrigued about him. For all she knew he could have been a homicidal maniac just moments from breaking out in a murderous rampage. Yet something nagged at her, drawing her interest to him as her feet, quite literally, brought her physically closer to him. Each step was heavy in its placement, a specific destination lying ahead of her. The diner was typically kept at a pleasant temperature, with the exception of days with colder weather, such as the evening she was working, that the staff would dab the thermostat up a bit. With the cook’s ovens and burners constantly blazing and the hot coffee brewing into stainless steel carafes all day long, Jill always found the climate within the diner to be suitable for how she dressed. She had chosen the comfortable flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up after checking the weather before her shift,  though she noticed as she neared the lone table against the glass that she seemingly became colder, a chill dancing atop her flesh. Bringing her hands briefly to rub over the top of the sleeves of her shirt to warm herself, Jill continued on her path. 

The waitress pulled a deep, reassuring breath through her lips before approaching the table. The bill of the man’s hat had been pointed in the direction of the opposite side of the diner, never moving once he settled in. Without thinking, Jill took the few extra strides to move in front of his view, her hands moving to perch on the curve of her waist before speaking as she smiled though his face never once glanced up to acknowledge her. She could practically feel Bernice’s prying eyes boring into her back, shielded by the waitress.

“Hi, there! I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before. My name’s Jill and I’ll be your waitress on duty tonight. What can I get you?” Jill added a bit of pep to her voice, her one hip subtly cocked out to place most of her weight on the corresponding foot. She tried, for the life of her, to figure out why she wanted to hear what his voice sounded like so badly in that very moment. Perhaps it was the classic trope of the good, innocent girl and the bad, mysterious boy but he was such an enigma to her. Her eyes followed his hand as he fumbled with the menu provided, but still, he didn’t move his head a single inch. She anticipated hearing him speak. She could see from his nose down to his chin and neck, which from what she saw was more than appealing, but he remained in the shadow of the bill of his hat. Jill wasn’t sure if hearing him speak would alleviate her curiosity or add to the mystery, but she still waited to hear him. 

“Green tea. Iced.” His voice was low, yet smooth. A mixture of a whisper and coarseness. Jill felt every hair on her arms raise in reaction, her flesh prickling as a small shudder swept over her. His voice was far different than what she had imagined in her mind, but it wasn’t different in a bad way, based on her body’s involuntary response to three simple words. Yet, those three words, watching them leave his mouth, watching the details of his lips as he formed them was enough for her to forget for merely a moment where she was and what she was doing. Blinking hard to bring herself back to reality, Jill fumbled with her hands to grab her order pad and pen, giving one blunt nod before scrawling down his request. 

“Iced green tea, coming right up. What’s uh… a name I can put on this order?” The waitress hoped she recovered nicely to not expose her nerves. Why on earth was she so timid and coy when it came to this man that she didn’t even know? Confusion didn’t even begin to touch the way she felt inside, knowing that this elusive man was simply another customer, yet still, there was a strange, baffling draw toward him. Jill’s teeth found the inner-edge of her lips, gnawing as the tension of the moment flared. At least she’d have a name for half of the face.

“Brian.” Faint and subdued, just as before, though she did detect a hint of an accent. More curiosities swirled around in her brain as she then began to wonder about where he was from, what brought him here, of all places. What he did.  She just simply wanted to know him… though finally, she had a name. She thought of asking more, but instead, she kept her professional distance. If he had the capacity to peek inside her mind he’d surely be out of the door in an instant. Still, she wasn’t a moron as he definitely made it known through his demeanor that he surely didn’t want to be bothered.

“Right. Iced green tea for Brian, coming right up.” Jill held the book of paper and pen to her chest before twisting around on the balls of her feet, her hair swinging listlessly as she made the turn. Despite her wanting to keep in his company and continue asking him whatever popped in her mind, his disposition made her better judgment kick in. 

Jill found herself at her work station, entering her credentials into the kiosk. She gripped the edges of the table and bent over to release a long, shaky breath as it loaded the program on the screen. Her eyes closed briefly, unable to pinpoint exactly what in the hell was up with her that night. She never lost her cool, and more importantly, never felt so compelled to a stranger. ‘Get a grip, Jill. Snap out of it’. She was glad her brain still had a semblance of rationality. Bringing herself back, she lifted her head to punch in the order for the table before suspending it to make the tea. It wasn’t ordered often in the diner, but the task had seemed simple enough. She placed the tea bags into the cup, pouring half of the water from the heated spigot to allow it to steep. While she waited for the essence of the green tea to infuse with the water, she prepared a saucer with an array of sweeteners and a straw, making sure each placement was precise and to her liking in a circular fan-shape. She couldn’t figure out why on earth she was putting so much thought into it but still, she strived to make a good impression. Once the tea was ready, she added the rest of the cold water and ice to top it off. She placed the glass in the center of the display of paper packets and ushered it over to his table, swallowing hard as the distance between them closed. 

“Enjoy, Brian... “ Jill smiled as she sat the tea down on the table beside him, though he couldn’t see her expression through the thick material of his hat, opting for a slight nod instead. Jill lingered for just a moment before pacing backwards slowly away, turning on her heel to check in with Holli, then next Bernice, and finally to check on the group of guys, occasionally casting a glance Brian’s way in hopes to catch a glimpse of his full-face. He was stoic as he sat, his hand only moving to take idle sips of the tea, opting to drink it plain. She hoped she had prepared it well enough to his liking. 

He never ordered anything else. The entirety of his stay he nursed that tea and made it last throughout it. Jill had said her goodbyes to Glenn and Jack, sending them off in their usual manner before closing their tab and setting aside the same allocated tip they always left on their bill. It wasn’t much, but it was a nice gesture. The meals of the college students were ushered out swiftly. Next came her duties of refilling condiments, prepping for the next shift that would relieve her. It was all about helping out. She cleared Holli’s table after she had left, though Holli only ever ordered appetizers, keeping her table free of obstacles as her pencil was constantly on her sketch pad. 

“Anything else I can get for you, or are you packing up for the night?” Next was the bookkeeper’s turn as she helped Bernice gather her things and return them to her orderly nature. The bookkeeper was growing older in age and appreciated all the help she could get.  Jill crouched down to the elder woman’s level as she leaned in close, one defined brow among her wrinkly complexion arched in suspicion as she glanced toward the massive pane of glass. 

“No, I’m doing just fine. But have you seen that fellow over there? I don’t know about you, but he seems up to no good… So very odd.” The woman’s voice was gravelly, yet quiet. Her deep, blue eyes fixated on him as though she were the watch-person for the diner. Truth be told, she was a nosey woman who loved to impede where she could. Shifting on her feet, still crouched, to cast a glance at the man in black. She couldn’t help the chill that trickled down her spine in the most exhilarating way. She captured her plump lower lip between her teeth, gently biting down in thought before turning back to the matronly woman.

“Oh, stop that, Bernice,” she said teasingly to her customer. “That doesn’t seem very becoming of you to judge someone you don’t even know. Besides, he’s probably just passing through and you’ll probably never see him again. Maybe he’s waiting on a car repair and has nothing but time to sit and relax? You just don’t know.” Jill was right and Bernice knew it. Her pride made the older woman turn her nose upward, her chest puffed as though she would rather appear courageous in her accusations than recoil in defeat. Jill gathered up the clutter after assisting the woman, though after Jill’s remark, she managed to finish cleaning up her things on her own. Pride could be unbecoming for some. 

Jill brought the dirty dishes to the back to throw in the washer in her off-time before it was time to close out the group of friends and their order. She collected all their payment methods and returned with their corresponding receipts. They had always been kind tippers, despite being college students. Their mothers would be proud. She said her goodbyes, wished them safe travels and told them she’d see them the next night, just as though it were second nature. Her smile was bright as her eyes followed them toward the door, noticing Brian had left already without a trace. Jill’s eyebrow quirked as she made her way to his table to clear the untouched saucer and glass. He had finished the beverage completely. Lifting each item, she noticed the bill tucked beneath the condiment holder. He had left a fifty dollar bill to purchase a two dollar drink with free refills. The edges of Jill’s lips twitched upward in a smirk as she picked it up. She was more than flattered but knew she was undeserving of such a tip. As her eyes lifted to peer through the glass into the dark and rainy evening, they settled on the abandoned building outside, seemingly in a daze of hoping she’d left a good enough impression that he’d return. 

Jill put the remainder of Brian’s money into an envelope to stow in her locker in the employee’s break room. If he’d come back, she’d kindly remit it back to him. She’d give it a month before accepting his generosity, though it was hardly something she expected with how impersonal he had been with her. Despite that, she still looked forward to his presence, should he show again, more than she should have.

[multifandom-disaster]

Fake family promts

Just collecting everything said in this post and comments with a few own ideas. @misscrazyfangirl321 @theprofessionalpromptmaker @anachronic-cobra @amweaver @joemerl @ambigiousgelpens @korecrimson @agwitow @ye-lost-bard @maneth985 @rege-sciuri

A lot of people contribute!! More than 20 ideas I think... Read below. And remember that this is NOT my idea.

"This guy is being a creep and won't leave me alone. Will you pretend to be my overprotective older brother for five minutes?"

"The nurse said only family was allowed back here, so I told her we were siblings. Just go along with it."

"That person asked if I was your S/O. I'm sick of people not believing when I say we're friends, so I said we were siblings."

"I'm your bodyguard, but the event you're going does not allow bodyguards, so now I'm your sibling."

"I was on a date, and the person made me uncomfortable, so I told them my parent was a cop. Only problem: My parents are dead, and you're the only cop I know. Help?"

"We have a very elaborate story of how we're related that we tell everyone when they meet us. No one has any idea that it isn't true."

"I told someone we were siblings, but we don't look alike, so you said I was adopted. Now they want to have dinner with my family... Are your parents good at lying?"

"We always joke that we're siblings, but someone didn't realize we were joking, so now we're seeing how far we can carry this out."

"Our organization is extremely covert, but your friends have caught me at your place a few times picking you up. I just found out that you've been telling them I'm your hysterical aunt who calls you every time she has a new heartbreak. Really? You couldn't come up with a less embarrassing cover."

"Look, I love you, too, but if you keep telling people you're my grandchild, I'm going to scream. I'm not that old, you know?"

"Okay, I need an alibi so you are no longer my accomplice, you've been upgraded to my child and we are spending bonding time together, got it?"

"I know we look so different from one another that it's not actually possible for us to be siblings by birth but I keep telling people we're siblings so when they ask "was one of you adopted" or "are you half-brothers" I can say "no" and watch them flounder."

"Hey, we've know each other since highschool, we hang out all the time. You're the only girl with a bunch of brothers and I'm an only child. We call each other sisters, and since we have approximately the same hair color and I, for some reason, totally look like a younger version of your mom, nobody has questioned it for literally 10 years."

"My parents always wanted a second kid, and gleefully refer to you as their second daughter, and nobody questions it."

"Spy needs a place to stay in a country and ends up staying with a cover family under the guise of being the dad's brother/cousin. But wait the kids are actually calling him "Uncle Spy" and asking for midnight waffle runs, and how the HECK did he end up at Denny's chanting about milkshakes and helping with math homework??? and yes, of course he'll watch the kids while fake brother and sister in law go on a date night."

"How long can we convince our new roommate we're twins despise the fact that we look nothing alike and she's meet both sets of our parents?"

"Neither of us can afford rent on our own, and we're sick of people thinking we're couple, so we're cousins now, okay?"

"Someone heard you call my mom "Mom", and now they think we're siblings. I say we go with it."

"I have a huge crush on your roommate and they caught me hanging around outside their apartment so I panicked and said I was your sibling/cousin. Please help!"

"I really want to go to this family resort in [country], and you're my only friend with kids so far. Can we pretend I'm the aunt/uncle helping out a single parent?"

"You're a down-on-your-luck barely-adult who's going to rent a room/suite in my house for cheap, and when I went to help you pick up your stuff from [your place/the shelter] someone made a comment about this being a weird sex thing. Which, ew. So I told them you're my niece/nephew. You cool with that?"

"Looks at flatmate who is 30 and has -again- been interpreted as my daughter. 'Lucy, I'm now your father.' "

"Co workers who become such close friends, that if one of them has a kid, the friend becomes "uncle/aunt" for said kid after a while."

"I randomly was at a family reunion of your family and since we vaguely look alike and didn't exactly tell them who I was, many of them still don't know I'm not related to them."

"I'm not sure how to said this but you kid believe that I'm is cousin for every time I came to babysit them, can we get along with this?"

"Hey, so in my favorite restaurant are doing discount for family. Can we be sisters or cousins?"

"I know I'm your babysitter but I want to annoy a friend that's coming over, if a buy you a toy would you be my kid for a while?"

And that's all I found, only the last 3 are mine the rest for the people tag above... Thanks for reading!

[gin-and-luce]

You killed our dog! Adriana of The Sopranos gave me strength to navigate life after a breakup during a global pandemic lockdown

I’m going through a breakup. It’s come at the worst time but also the best time. He ended things with me (more on that later) after three years in the most Beta-Male way...but this is what happens when your type can be boiled down to softboi. I can’t see my friends in the conventional way, so I made some new ones on screen to help me navigate the end during quarantine.

Over ten weeks ago I started watching The Sopranos. It doesn’t need justifying, everyone knows it’s the best television series of all time, but I’d never seen it, and I knew a global pandemic induced lockdown would provide optimum viewing circumstances. My favourite thing to do is completely throw myself into the female narrative and experience I’m watching on screen. I prefer a long deep drama over a film. I like being able to see my girls every night. 

People have said to me before “you should start a blog”, but I could never escape the feeling that doing so is massively narcissistic because it *is*, unless you have something actually relevant to write about. Alternatively, the image of Gretchen Weiners leaning in and going “you let it out honey, put it in the book” floats across my conscience, and everything embarrassing that I’ve ever done, plays in a montage in my mind. 

Who gives a fuck what I have to say about anything…….. especially about a cultural phenomena that is quite literally regarded as the best TV show of all time?

I’d been wanting to write this after I watched Long Term Parking. I lay in the dark for 45 minutes after the episode ended. I’d never felt like that watching a television show or film before. My throat had seized up but I didn’t cry, even though I felt like it. I knew it was coming from the moment Adriana met the agent. I wasn’t surprised, but I was heartbroken and absolutely fuming. I still am. 

I’m not angry with Christopher, Tony, or Silvio, but just the general unbalance I’ve felt when I’m in a relationship. The loss of self, relationships being a series of compromises. From what I have found from my own experiences and my girlfriends’, women are just much more willing to compromise, but don’t consider it to be a compromise. Men can only take into consideration their own reality, an evolutionary selfishness that just doesn’t translate. 

Just as lockdown began I texted my boyfriend to say I loved him and I missed him. He responded with “Can’t say I feel the same”. Nearly 3 years were over just like that. We had the obligatory phone call, where I was hysterical and he was smarmy and smug. Yet when it was over, I felt nothing. It’s allllll a big nothing.

My personal Gospel is Sex and The City (shout out to HBO!). This was my Berger moment. He essentially scribbled “I’m sorry, I can’t. Don’t hate me” on a post-it. The irony of the whole thing is that when we watched it together, he himself said he was most like Berger. Thinking about it makes me wince.

My life opened up in front of me, I was exposed to his weakness regarding the situation in full when his sister-in-law messaged me on Instagram a few days ago. He hadn’t told his family, nor had he told his flatmates (another shout out to my sleuths at the back, you know who you are!). 

The Sopranos is a show about life. The Mafia structure provides a vehicle for us to question morality and mortality. You take what you get from it. When I watch it again at a different stage of my life, I will get something else out of it. 

For me now, while I stew in my own emotion during quarantine, Adriana represents emotional labour and the expectation for women to behave in a certain way in relationships. 

At first when my ex’s family members were messaging me, I was confused. It is frankly humiliating to smile as if everything is normal, so as to protect someone that in the end would not do the same for me. I know he wouldn’t do the same because there was just no courtesy in what happened weeks ago. I am trying to move on but things like this stunt your personal growth.

The struggle with emotional labour hones a guilt that someday I’ll regret giving my early 20s to something that didn’t work out. I felt like I was on borrowed time.

These are obviously my own insecurities spurred on by the fact that I’ve read enough “10 things I wish I knew in my 20s” blogs to know that these are my selfish years. Still, it is ultimately devastating to see the last 3 years of your life conclude via a text that displays a failure to realise that there is no real clean cut for a long-term relationship. 

I respect him for the blunt statement because it means I get to reference the Berger SATC breakup and say “casually cruel in the name of being honest” (Taylor Swift, 2012) a LOT, which softens the pity in the social scenarios that I invent in my head in the shower.

When Tony calls Adriana to tell her Christopher has tried to kill himself, that was like my final phone call too. This is the end. Her youthfulness was why I related to her most in the show, but at the same time having nothing to lose made her easily expendable. Youth makes you put 100% into something knowing it is a gamble. 

I’m not comparing my ‘borrowed time’ to Adriana because she ends up dead, but there was a disregard for her life that was so harrowing because she did nothing but try and do the right thing. I watched Adriana put Christopher first willingly for 5 series. He supported her music management dreams but ultimately ended up making it all about him. He gave her the Crazy Horse but this ultimately was just another mob hangout. He sat on her dog, he continued to use heroin, shag other people, and so on.

“You could start writing again,” she tells him in her last episode, to which he responds  “I could do my memoirs, finally,”. Here is Adriana still!! STILL!! catering to Christopher’s ego to give herself some confidence. Very me.

All the way through she was just too good for him. Her ties to the Famiglia aren’t as tight as Carmela and Co. No children, still young, there’s chance for Adriana to get out if she wanted to. Of course this makes her prime FBl bait, but shows she sticks by Christopher through everything purely out of love. In the end she dies on her knees, subservient, with Heart’s Barracuda the last song she hears. I know Adriana had to go. That’s the way it is in the Famiglia because Christopher took an oath. But in a way she also had the carpet ripped from underneath her, just like me. 

There are lots of men writing on the internet about how Adriana is greedy and hypocritical. I just don’t understand where this reading is coming from other than obvious misogyny. I’ve read others that say if she was really that strong she would have simply left the relationship years ago. I believe that she believed things would improve for both of them, and that most people are just slut shaming her for her past. 

Still, Drea DeMatteo won a Best Supporting Actress Emmy for the episode. Fuckin’ A. 

I rooted for the woman. Before I was made redundant while working from home, I would spend half my life at my desk willing it to be 5:30pm, so I could slither back to the settee and spend the other half of my life in New Jersey. I’d phone my mum to discuss the episodes. She loves the show too, it’s always been a favourite in my household. We’d talk about the women like they were our friends and how we relate to them. The Sopranos is like a big mirror urging you to question everything. The answer to life is simply what are ya gonna do? 

Men love making things black and white so it is easier for them, when really women are in the background sorting out the shades of grey. 

Don’t get me wrong, Adriana’s significance is massive, albeit more so because of her death. You watch Christopher and Tony’s relationship start to crumble afterwards. It's shattering to see the disregard for Christopher’s sobriety and how despite his loyalty, he still sees him as a liability and weak. 

On the other hand, for Adriana’s sake, I am still enraged that he couldn’t see the bigger picture at the time. She is collateral damage in his path to finding his precious arc - “Wives, girlfriends, they can complicate life in a major way” Tony expresses to Jennifer as he runs from his own guilt. 

Christopher is desperate for Tony’s approval but is more than happy to use his blood connection as a protective leeway whenever he steps out of line. Again the irony is that he comes to tell Tony about Adriana first, just as the old Famiglia values say he should, but there is no real personal reward for doing so despite the personal sacrifice. 

I think Christopher regretted it in the end, and rightly so. When he is faced with his potential alternate life at the gas station, we assume that this was what made him go to Tony. It’s a family with loads of kids. Adriana probably can’t even have kids??? What kind of male logic?!  #justiceforadriana

I can’t help but feel for him when JT screams “Chris, you’re in the MAFIA!”. It’s the same kind of reality check that Chief Cubitoso gives Adriana, it’s an ultimatum and it’s the realisation that they are trapped in this life. Just ask Gene.

Carmela knew. I read her dreams as a testament to a woman’s intuition. She knows her friend isn’t what everyone is describing, she knows Adriana wouldn’t just disappear. She is all too aware of the emotional labour Mob women carry. When she sees Adriana with Cosette on the banks of the Seine, it is as sad as it is when we dream about people who have died. 

There is a scene in an early episode where Carmela says “Don’t we all?” in response to Meadow squealing “She’s MARRYING a BABY?” at a painting of The Marriage of Saint Catherine. I thought about this again when Christopher dies. Carmela passes her instinct off as hysteria, she isn’t to know. “So quick to blame, what is the attraction in that?” she cries during the aftermath of the car crash. There is a critique in her own femininity here that just makes you want to shout “NO CARM!!!!!!!”. As she believes she mothers Tony, there is the double-edged sword whereby he protects her through keeping her in the dark. “Heaven only ever sees my love making a fool of me” sings Emmylou Harris at the start of season 5. Carm’s power is taken away but she doesn’t even know. 

Carmela dedicates her life to being a mother but it’s not enough to save Meadow from her surname. We get some sense that AJ ‘Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit’ Soprano might be on a new path when he feels like the burning of his car among the autumn leaves of death was cathartic. As a man, he just has more freedom anyway. 

Miss Meadow gained her independence by getting her driving license, but in the end we see that she is still held back in the final scene by her inability to parallel park. She slots right in, eventually. As she does, she slots into the Soprano cycle after years of doing the most to get out and pave her own way. After every breakup with someone without links to the Famiglia, no scrubs, she returns and dates someone closer to home. Her career path is left tenuous to us, it would be all too easy for her to become a kept woman, which feels like it is the only real option should she settle down into the lifestyle with Patrick Parisi. It isn’t what she envisioned for herself, so part of me wants to hope that her story ends up a little bit more like Elle Woods. Legally Italian. 

I probably wouldn’t even have remembered her saying anything about parallel parking if I wasn’t terrible at parallel parking myself. It’s the pepperings of these subtle callbacks that make the show so beautiful. As the guitar solo plays on during the frustration, you’re invited to reminisce over Meadow’s journey. I fully wept watching her struggle to get the damn car parked because I’m trying to get my car parked too. Don’t stop believing, Meadow. 

I admire all the women in The Sopranos. The show is feminist, and that is a hill I am prepared to die on. It’s definitely up for debate as it is obviously littered with gratuitous nudity and women are commoditised. We have to allow this for cultural context for the show, but real life is basically exactly the same too? 

I read a post on Reddit where a dude is asking whether he should watch the show with his girlfriend. He types ‘“It’s a masterpiece of film but she probably wouldn’t get into it as I am”, and you don’t have to look much further to find more comments about how women and their puny minds just won’t get it. It’s an odd perspective to take given that Tony’s psychiatrist is a woman, but of course women could never grasp something so complex. It’s bullshit if you ask me, the female narrative prevails throughout all scenarios. 

The Pine Barrens seems to be everyone’s favourite episode. It’s not my favourite but there are two major elements that resonated with me. The first is Meadow looking down at the three letter words Jackie Aprile Jr had placed on the Scrabble board, and the second is when Gloria says to Tony:

“What you said was that you didn’t wanna piss me off..which implies that you’d have to deal with me, which is more about sparing YOU than my fucking feelings”. Don’t need to elaborate on that. Rest in power, Gloria. Legend.

Of course I could write pages and pages of hot feminist takes on all of the women - Jennifer, Janice, Livia, Angie, Svetlana, Charmaine. Lord knows I could probably write a book on Tracee.“ 20 years old, this girl”, I bashed Living on a Thin Line by The Kinks for about a week after that episode. It is the male gaze of the show made me love the women more. Carmela is my mother and I’ll probably name my first born Meadow. 

Carmela is the powerhouse and backbone of The Soprano household even though Tony provides. She represents stability, emotional labour, and putting on a brave face regardless. In some ways, it is as if Carmela represents the human emotion side and the fragility of organised crime. She is secure, but not enough, and her lack of ability to stand on her own two feet plagues her conscience through time. She is totally complicit, but must be to ensure her future with Tony as he pays anything to roll the dice just one more time. At the end of Long Term Parking, she and Tony stand looking at where she will build her spec-house. The forest looks the same as where we lost Ade, it’s a grim reflection that Carmela wouldn’t have this life if it wasn’t for the quick disposal of those like Adriana.   

Yeah okay, what the hell is a show with a feminist underpinning trying to say about wider society about a woman who exercises her beauty, loyalty and ambition?? Is it that she is not to be trusted?? Adriana’s a rat, but before this she is already deemed “damaged goods” anyway. She dresses provocatively, but that’s because she just looks MINT always. You would dress like THAT if you looked like THAT. When you Google her, ‘Adriana Sopranos Tennis’ comes up. I roll my eyes. Fucking men, eh? To take it down to a basic Sixth-Form-Poet reading, Adriana is Curley’s Wife and Daisy Buchanan all in one. She loves a red manicure too, and it might have worked out better for her if she had played the complicit beautiful little fool. 

This isn’t ‘Why The Sopranos is good!’, but a love letter to Adriana and her strength, because there is basically little or no content written on the women of the show when I have Googled.  I needed there to be more things written about her that isn’t just “bitch had it coming” when in fact she is a martyr. 

When Adriana was on screen, there was my mate. I knew her, she wanted what I wanted, but she sacrificed so much of herself for others and it was heartbreaking to watch. She barely gets a look-in in early episodes, but when she does she is usually wearing something animal print, which automatically made her the number one character on my radar. I am choosing to believe the theory that she is the cat in the final episode too. 

Still, I have been struggling and questioning why an episode that aired 16 years ago, with no plot that links to my own circumstances, has had such a monumental impact on me. 

I saw a tweet that said “have we ever sat down and thought about why relationships only work if the guy is more invested than the girl or is that just something we accept” (@anugov1). Adriana invested more in Christopher, even in the end, than she ever did herself. 

As I navigate this transitional period in my life, I am Adriana driving in the vision we see when we think she is going to start her new chapter. We can’t leave the flat, I have no job. The Sopranos has provided the most cathartic escapism for me. As I enter into whatever new world follows this nightmare, I wanted my mate Adriana to find her new world too, turning the classic rock up to 11.

[404-potato]

I’m going to share something because I really need to get this off my chest. Please feel free to ignore this - 

... I never really talked about it with anyone because I don’t think I really had it in me to fully acknowledge it even. “Embarrassed” is the best way to describe why quite honestly... as much as I hate to admit it

This... is how I ended up hating a series I loved. And the ship/fandom still makes me cringe because of a weirdly “traumatizing” (? maybe? not sure - i hate using that word/throwing it around;;;) incidents that wasn’t really even about the fandom directly at all?  

tw: relationship mess? 

So before IronStrange, how I used to deal with liking series was through cosplaying. There was a good base for it where I lived and good chunk of my friends cosplay too or at least familiar with the community.

I got into this particular series (that I won’t name here) because a friend (who I eventually got involved in a relationship with) was REALLY into it. It was great at first. I loved the series, it was fun, we cosplayed a pair she shipped hard at the time and at some point I liked it too (I think she’s still a bit obsessed with that pairing actually). 

Basically... she got obsessive. 

It started with the little things like... very...uh... predictable... she didn’t want me to cosplay with other people. She didn’t want me to cosplay with anyone else for this particular pairing. Wanted me to prioritize her during cons... sort of made it impossible for me to be flexible to make plans with any other people. When confronted eventually (the “hey so you know I only have so much time I can give to this hobby- if I make all these plans with you I don’t have time for other friends. We can still do things together but I want to spend time with other people too”)... she made it seem like she would give me space but when time came it was always “I’m not saying you can’t go hang out with your friends but you promised this.” “I asked you first.” ... which by promise btw was her mentioning it some months ago by passing. There were other little things here and there in the con/cos world like if any other friend wanted to put together a cosplay group and asked me she got upset I didn’t ask her to join? Her reasoning was that “well I always ask you so why don’t you.” which seemed like demanding I feel the same way about her as she did for me. ... I know... sounds terrible of me & maybe I should be more sympathetic but... you can’t... demand someone to return how you feel about them or get upset when they don’t? (by the way this was way before we dated even - she also repeated denied she had any sort of feelings for me)

And I honestly didn’t recognize it at first or thought it wasn’t a big deal. I had lot of incident in the past where friends, people I dated, etc. made some... perhaps unjustified demands and I did my best to accommodate if I was willing or situation allowed it. I truly, maybe arrogantly, believed I could fully take care of myself because i always had been that one person who could take care of themselves. ... and there was no possible way anyone could ever “take advantage of me” so to say? in any way. 

Then eventually we started dating. It was casual, lets see where it goes at first. ...then at some point we were in a relationship? ... quite frankly I don’t even remember how fully that came about. (I was not exactly in the best mental state that year due multiple disasters that was going on in my personal life - terrible timing because i let a lot of “red flags” go since I was so tired to fight). 

She wanted me to stop talking to certain friends. One was a friend who we went on couple dates (and it didn’t work out, & by then this friend was dating someone else). But she still didn’t want me be friends with this person. 

...And for those who think you shouldn’t be friends with your exes or not talk to them at all for some reason? F u. Yes it is fully possible to be friends with your ex if you both are at a good place etc. Esp if these people were not even exes per se it was like people you went on a date or two with that you both realized after “hey yea we’re friends not anything more”. 

Little by little I was talking to less and less people, interacted with less and less friends. I stopped cosplaying completely just so I didn’t have to deal with her getting upset at me. I didn’t have the energy. It felt like if I go anywhere I had to invite her. If I made any plans I should invite her. After a while I was so miserable to the point we had huge fights. I literally left the apartment to get away because she wasn’t listening to anything I was saying and all her rebuttal to everything was along the lines of “It’s because i like you so much” etc. 

Yea this whole “being loved” thing to the point they want to spend so much time with you at all times may sound sweet in theory ...but for someone who is an only child (with no distant relatives in the same country), who is used to be left alone to live my life with very minimal supervision since 5 years old, needs a lot of time to myself naturally... it’s a nightmare. But if I said I wanted to be alone or need time to myself suggest I’ll go to my parent’s (not my first choice but ya know... at this point i figured she’ll flip if I said any friend’s)... she’ll try to angrily (very recklessly) drive off saying she’ll sleep at her work parking lot?? or I came back after one of these fights and she had all these scratches because apparently she tried to take a bath with wine and she fell?? ... I feel like I couldn’t even leave. ...typing this now, it’s kinda occurring to me I felt very stuck. She says I can go, I can do things, but... i mean... I can’t?? because then she’ll go off and do something like this. That time she was physically hurt, I know I should feel bad but I honestly couldn’t feel bad. I felt suffocated. I was angry. I felt like she was doing this as some sort of attention seeking... thing. 

Oh and lets not forget comments here and there about how I should let her know what i’m doing all the time, all the change of plans. Example: barely one month after I started at a new job, it was the holiday party. I did let her know I’ll be trying to come home early but please eat without me/don’t wait up. Well as I was trying to leave, I got caught in conversation by my VP and then my CEO... i couldn’t just up and leave at that point?? And I couldn’t answer the 30+ calls I got from her. ...She was pissed. Saying how they waited for me to eat, how I said I’ll be home early, etc. I tried to explain what happened. It’s a holiday party, its loud. I can’t keep looking at my phone when i’m talking to my CEO. I did say i’ll try but shit happens and I can’t update her all the time 24/7...She said she got it but next day would still throw these passive aggressive remarks. Couple of her friends came to visit from out of town, we were supposed to spend the day together with them. I was obviously tired because of the holiday party still and I muttered like “damn i’m tired” by passing... her automatic reaction was “well you shouldn’t have stayed out then.” because in her words, during the argument that followed, we made plans to spend time with her friends so I should have prioritized it at all cost even over the job that I need. Nothing said I couldn’t just leave and come home early, I didn’t have to go in the first place. ...oh idk there is something called work politics??? esp when you are a minority girl working at 80~90%+ white male company. 

Then it all boiled up to a particular bad fight where I said I need her to compromise because I’m ready to lose it... I explained so many things from above that was genuinely becoming so unhealthy for me...  How she said she’ll be better in the past but she continued on, etc. 

...lol... and the first thing she says to that is how she still doesn’t want me to cosplay with other people. I literally had a moment of that’s what’s so important to you??? SERIOUSLY? fuck this i’m not cosplaying ever again. period. Because at that point... because of the whole incident... or many incidents, I had such negative feeling towards the hobby I didn’t want to do it anyways... let alone this pairing she really liked... or the series etc.  god there was... so many more... like the time we went to a bar to have fun, she over drank even when I told her multiple times hey maybe you should slow down... She basically did the whole “drinking excess as an excuse to say what she wants after” “i’m drunk so I’m saying this” thing. So in a very public place, the bar was crowded, there were people all around us, she yelled VERY loudly about how I didn’t seem to want to have sex with her anymore. When I asked her to keep quiet, please can we talk about this elsewhere... she KEPT GOING- LOUDLY YELLING. Hysterically crying. Honestly... considering everything going on... yea I didn’t want to. At some point it did occur to me I didn’t want to have sex at all (and that was whole another level of problem considering I’ve always been very sexual person...) I mean I would have been totally willing to have a serious conversation about this but NOT AT A PUBLIC PLACE WITH STRANGERS ALL AROUND??? I was mortified. (this is also why I stopped going to nice bars... i used to enjoy them. After my early 20s, I didn’t drink to get drunk but I loved visiting creative bars and having a nice drink or two... well... not anymore lol)  Again, these are not even 50% of all that happened with this person. .... honestly this relationship caused me so much issues personally I haven’t even begin to solve. It’s actually to the point I’m considering therapy. 

But yea... sure it may not be the biggest of things but sometimes I’m very resentful I can’t enjoy the series I used to enjoy because I just automatically have VERY negative emotions about it. Same thing with cosplay, a hobby I used to be very happily involved in to relieve stress. I now have this almost... fight or flight feeling when they are mentioned, i freeze... it sometimes feels like something is pressing down on your lungs making it impossible to breath.  

...And this is also why... I started tumblr and ended up seeking company of online people who doesn’t really know me because... yea now I’m avoiding my friends at this point or mutuals with this person since... well, everyone thinks she’s a very nice person, very good for me... because on surface level, yea she does really seem like she likes me, gets me all these nice gifts etc. They still comment from time to time about how I should be doing better. Treat her better. Because if someone screws up in a relationship, given my history and personality, its probably my doing. ...Okay. any normal situation, yea I would say that’s probably true but this? this was not... yea.

[rylredrants]

Pandemic, Politics & Personal Life

I just broke up with my best friend of 5 years. 

She supported me through three major breakups in less than a year, showed up for moves, meltdowns, and meals. We treated each other as sisters, and to me it meant “I love you even when I don’t like you.” There are things about her life and beliefs that I just flat out don’t like, but I compromised and allowed room in my life for those differences.

She is a devout Christian. I’m a card-carrying member of The Satanic Temple. She is married to a border patrol agent, and has repeatedly said that having children separated from their parents at the border is a consequence of their actions. I’m horrified that there are children in literal chain link cages being neglected, assaulted, and traumatized in a way that is simply unthinkable. She reminds me that Obama built the cages.

When her step-child came out as non-binary, she had a meltdown over the fact that she had always wanted a daughter and now the kid is asking to be called by a masculine name. I’ve worked with PFLAG (Parents and Families of Lesbians and Gays, the local LGBTQ+ support network) and done education about gender, sexual orientation, and alternative relationship structures where I emphasize the privilege I have as a cis, straight woman (who personally embraces traditional gender roles).

I compromised and allowed room in my life for some pretty big ideological differences. But this year has changed everything.

When the pandemic began, I was living alone for the first time ever. Her home was my home. I cooked in her kitchen, co-hosted her gatherings, brought my laundry to her house rather than use the machines in my apartment complex. I fed her cat when she was on vacation. I had the code for her front door, and at times “shopped” from her stockpile in between shopping trips. We went grocery shopping together the last 2 times I was in a grocery store.

Her husband crossed a line with me after I allowed a loosened boundary in our relationship, and I did my best to not take it out on her. But when we planned ‘girl’s night’ and he decided to call out of work and be at home I hated being there. It became a problem but being me, I felt it better to sidestep things than be direct because I knew that the damage would be irreparable and I didn’t want to end our relationship. I was compromising my own comfort in an attempt to keep the peace.

When she got a head cold and cancelled a laundry and Masked Singer night, I felt abandoned. But I knew it wasn’t personal and I just let it go. When I came over and found one of her husband’s other partner at their house, I felt like my quarantine bubble had been invaded and there were suddenly more risks than I was okay with. 

She replied by trying to rationalize things like who that outside partner was in contact with, but I stopped feeling safe there. I felt like I’d lost my second home. But I didn’t speak up.

She had to go back to work (in retail) but she insisted that she always wore her mask everywhere because she knew how I felt about it. Then she told me that she had plans to go to a local Republican meeting of some kind. She’s always known my view on the politics thing, and this year the Republican Party has proven to be the bigger of two evils by miles. 

She said, “Please don’t disown me” knowing that the political thing may be big enough to possibly disown her.  

I relayed the story to my ex-husband. They used to hang out and go to movies together, but he always knew about the differences in our home and hers. He felt the same as I did about things. A little while later, he shared a picture from the Republican event and there she was naked faced in a small room full of senior citizens. He was horrified. 

I was that much more certain I’d made the right choice in not socializing with her in person.

One day, after a couple months without hanging out she messaged me saying that local COVID numbers were down so “Can we be friends again?” 

But that’s not how this works. Local numbers go down, people stop being diligent and then numbers go up again. It’s exactly what’s happened all over the country this fall. I was not going to be one of those people, but I agreed to do the video chat thing.

Her birthday rolled around and she messaged me upset because her husband had gotten the wrong kind of cake. My immediate reaction was to check my pantry for cake supplies and make plans to bake her a better cake and drop it on her porch the next day. 

We set up a time to have a video chat the next morning… much earlier than I’m typically up and coherent but she’s an early bird in general and I was making brunch for my boyfriend and his son later that morning. I got up and sat at my desk for over an hour with my messages unread. She finally messaged me about how sideways her morning had gone and I did my best to not take it personally. I didn’t bake that cake.

I went to Mexico for my birthday in October. It was the first time I’d been anywhere since the pandemic began. The first time I’d been to Mexico, first time I met my boyfriend’s mom, and the first time I ate in a restaurant in months.

In Mexico, people were wearing masks everywhere. They had footbaths in every doorway where someone took your temperature and squirted sanitizer into your hand before you crossed the threshold. I felt safer in Mexico, terms of COVID exposure, than I felt anywhere at home.

The day after I got back, she video called me in hysterics. She sobbed that I’d gone to “dirty, nasty Mexico” but wouldn’t have coffee with her after she’d “begged” me for months. She went on about how low the local COVID numbers were as a way of saying that I was being overly cautious by staying home like I’ve been. 

She was in a hotel room at the time. 

She and her husband were on an anniversary trip to Las Vegas, having flown threw Phoenix. They were about to head out to a cigar bar. But the local numbers! Seriously.

Today I got the message asking if we were still best friends. I softballed a lot of it, but it ended with her saying “whatever” and that she wouldn’t take responsibility for my choice to abandon her without telling her how I’d felt. And she unfriended me on Facebook.

Part of me feels really shitty. I’ve been processing this feeling of grief and loss of that relationship for months. It’s been exhausting. But if I’m being honest, it’s a bit of relief that it’s over.

I’ve been questioning if I was justified in my stance. 

Were these differences so big that they couldn’t be ignored anymore? Am I over-reacting and cutting one of the last people in my life out that I called my family? Or have I just gotten to the point of exhaustion where I simply don’t have the emotional bandwidth to keep overlooking and compromising my own beliefs?

It feels like the latter and as much as it hurts, I know that’s been one of the tales of 2020 that’s being repeated over and over again. The stakes have gotten too high to compromise or minimize some things. 

It’s all too serious to just live life like there’s not a deadly pandemic. Like there hasn’t been a total upheaval of our political system. Like those of us who stay home and mask up when we don’t have a choice, forgoing all the things that were “normal life” like anniversary trips, restaurants, community theater… all things she’s been doing, unmasked and unaffected all year.. we are the ones that are over-reacting. Nope. I’m not going to be gaslit like that. 

Wear a damn mask, people!

Stop putting your need for a haircut or brunch ahead of the reality that people are dying en masse and suffering long-lasting damage because people can’t be bothered to put a piece of cloth on their face when they go grocery shopping.

There is no reason for people to be making the pandemic political, but those who do only add to the personal impact it has on all of us.

I’m exhausted.

[saiilorstars]

The Girl in the Forest

Chapter 16: Clarity

// Story Masterlist //

Fandom: The Originals

Pairings: Klaus Mikaelson x Original Female Character

Pronunciation of OC’s name: Ma-leh-nee

Requested tag: @queenmj10​

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter Summary: Mikael has Maleny and is hell-bent on making Klaus finally pay for everything done in the past. Still, despite her situation, Maleny finally comes to terms with her feelings.

Klaus angrily paced back and forth outside Davina's cabin as he left a voicemail to Elijah, "Elijah, where are you? Mikael is loose with the stake, and Maleny is a hostage, and I am weaponless and in need of reinforcement. Urgently!"

He hung up and returned to the cabin where Kol was calmly rocking back and forth in a rocking chair, Davina still unconscious, "Wake her up," Klaus ordered him, "Tell her to get Mikael back here, now."

"Well, let me- let me think about that," Kol tilted his head in pretend thought, "No! I've got nothing against Maleny, honestly - she was my little mischievous companion after all."

"Okay, now is our time, Maleny," Kol declared to the older blonde beside him.

The two were standing side by side a short distance from a table full of various snacks the villagers had put out for their evening celebration. No one was supposed to have any until the celebration properly started.

Just as Kol started for the table, Maleny anxiously grabbed his arm, pulling him back, "You know we're not supposed to touch anything," she reminded him, "There are rules-"

"Oh c'mon, Maleny," Kol turned to her, pleading with her, "We went over this - remember the plan?"

"Ummm..." Maleny looked to the side, feeling guilty for having even thought about going with his plan.

"Mal?" Kol asked again, giving her a pout, "I said we would share and you know I don't disappoint my adoptive sister, so..."

At that Maleny, arched an eyebrow, "You make Rebekah suffer some times."

"Yeah, but half the time she deserves it," Kol shrugged then smiled at her, "But you're not like her. You're nicer, you're definitely a lot more fun than she is. You're like the sister I always wanted."

"Oh, don't be rude," Maleny playfully hit his arm, "And fine...but I want some berries," she pointed to the bowl of her favorite fruit.

"Got it," Kol beamed, sloppily kissing her cheek before heading out to do their plan.

Maleny chuckled to herself, heading to do her task of distraction in the meantime. She was to distract the one preparing the tables, Miss Heartfield - a terrible, strict old woman. If Maleny was honest, she was terrified by the woman but Kol promised her it wouldn't take more than two minutes max for him to snatch up what they wanted.

Kol kept to his word - in two minutes flat he was motioning to Maleny it was time to go. Giggling like a child would, the blonde scurried after him.

"I told you it would be easy," Kol said as they sat down on the ground, their backs against a home wall, both of them munching on their respective snacks.

"I am never doing that again," Maleny warned him as she dropped a couple of berries into her mouth, but both knew that was false.

She had said the same thing mere days ago.

Kol smiled to himself after reliving his memory. He then looked back at Klaus who remained furious than ever by the entrance of the cabin, "Self preservation, you see," he continued his excuse, "I stay in here, Mikael can't get to me. Well, go on then."

Klaus actually felt like killing Kol on the spot for his dismissal at the problem. But he saw there was no use in wasting time with Kol, "We're not done here!" he warned and then sped out to find Maleny.

~ 0 ~

Somewhere deep in the woods by the bayou, Mikael dragged along Maleny in a tight hold.

"You know, I remember you being awful and unnecessarily cruel but this is beyond ridiculous!" the blonde angrily shouted, almost able to hide her fear that coursed through her blood.

"And I seem to remember you weren't a big mouth back then," Mikael replied in a snarky tone, "I assume Niklaus taught you that."

"Who, by the way, is already looking for you," Maleny glared at him, "And we all know what happens when Klaus Mikaelson loses his temper."

Mikael sneered as he came to a stop, "Oh, you are an amusing girl - always have been. But let me tell you, amuseming and entertaining will have you killed eventually," he pointed Papa Tunde's blade at her, "And because you are oh-so-close to Niklaus, your end will be even sooner."

Maleny raised an eyebrow, "And you believe somehow this will make me go against him? If you believed you could do that you wouldn't have taken me as leverage. Because that's why you took me, isn't it?"

Though Mikael was irritated the plan was so easily visible, he stated, "Once I threaten to dismember you in front of him, Klaus will hesitate. And, in that moment of weakness, I shall end him."

"This is so wrong!" Maleny erupted into angry shouts, shaking off Mikael's arm in the process. He knew she couldn't out run him anyways so he let her be, "You have never seen Klaus as your son and when there was finally real proof that he actually wasn't, you went hysterical. You've literally been obsessing over the death of someone whose fatal flaw is that he was fathered by another guy! If there's anyone you should be going after it's Esther - she's the one who betrayed you."

"Hush! You are the enabler of the weak!" Mikael pointed, "No wonder he always sought your company."

"Cos I understood him, clearly," Maleny argued, but her mind wronged her by reminding her of a period where that wasn't true.

Maleny was quietly tending to pile of cloths inside her home when she happened to look up and see Klaus passing by. Immediately, she dropped her things and called for him, "Klaus!" she ran for her open door.

"Stay there!" the newly made vampire (or hybrid) ordered her just as she came to the door.

Startled, Maleny froze in her spot, "I...I know what happened out there," she nodded for the forest, "Rebekah, she...told me."

"Then you know what I have become," Klaus opened his arms and walked towards her, unable to really look her in the eyes, "A beast..."

Maleny's eyes lowered in clear sympathy for him, "I'm sorry...I..."

She'd heard from Esther about the savagery state Klaus had entered early at dawn, unable to control himself (as well as the others) after trying to decently feed off people in the forest. They would have died if they hadn't been stopped by Mikael and Finn. She'd wanted to go find him immediately but Esther had stopped her, warning Maleny of the danger she would be placing herself in.

"You are going to stay in there, Maleny," Klaus pointed towards Maleny's home, making the blonde take a quick glance back, "and you are not going to look for me-"

Maleny blinked in confusion, "What? But I-" and when she tried taking a step out of her house Klaus shouted.

"Stay in there!"

The blonde flinched under the harsh tone. Her blue eyes had widened, not in horror but of pain. She was quite used to her father using the same tone to talk to her, but never from Klaus.

"Maleny, I am...something bad," Klaus said, putting in simpler terms, "I have to feed off people to survive and it is a difficult struggle to have control."

"That's not your fault," Maleny whispered, her hand reaching out to his only to have him step back, "Klaus, why are you doing this?" her eyes began rapidly blinking as they watered, "I know what you are. I am not afraid."

"But I am," Klaus confessed under a shaky tone, "You do not understand Maleny. I can hear your heart pumping blood, blood I now crave, blood that warms your pink cheeks. And the last thing I want is for you to become my next prey."

Maleny's tears had begun running down her face, "I know you won't hurt me…"

"Give me time, Maleny. Pain is the last thing I want to cause you."

"Then stop this madness right now," Maleny weakly ordered, stepping out of her home's boundary. She purposely inched closer to him, running her fingers up his arm, "Let me be there for you. I can...I can help you..." she offered, though no specific ideas came to mind at the moment.

Klaus nearly fell under her charms as she brushed her lips against his. But her delicious, human scent became more prominent in the air, and her heartbeat rang in his ears. He pushed her away, making her stumble back into her home, " Stay away from me, Maleny," he whispered, doing a surprisingly good job of hiding his tears, "Stay indoors, where I cannot reach you - nor my siblings," with his final warning he turned away and walked off.

Maleny shut her eyes as she remembered the awful period she'd spent lonesomely whilst Klaus kept away from her. She didn't realize Mikael had taken an interest in distant music that had carried over through their silence.

"I hear music," he declared, glancing back at her, "And, where there's music, there's food."

"Oh," Maleny crinkled her nose, "leave them alone."

"Would you rather it be you I feed off, then?" Mikael challenged, coming back to her.

"Frankly, yes," Maleny nodded, making him laugh.

"How heroic of you," he snagged Maleny by the arm, dragging her towards his next meal's location, "Where'd you learn that one? Because it certainly wasn't from that hybrid."

"This may come as a shocker to you, Mikael, but I do have qualities that are all mine," Maleny rolled her eyes.

But Mikael sneered in return, dismissing her statement, "Oh please, ever since I could remember you were after my family like a lost-"

"I had lost my mother, you ignorant fool!" Maleny snapped, and soon saw the error she made when Mikael abruptly stopped and faced her with rage. Knowing he would break her if he overdid it, he settled for a hard strike across the face. Maleny fell to the ground, drowning her painful screeches as best she could. She looked up, mustering up her courage, "My life was hell after my mother died. My father was cruel and did nothing but hit me and treat me like a servant. I wasn't 'after your family' - I loved them like they were my own."

"Oh how truly sappy," Mikael rolled his eyes and turned away from her, trying to once again locate the distant music.

"Don't be snappish because you weren't able to learn what love was," Maleny said, earning herself a threatening glare back.

"And you think you know what that is?" he challenged, quickly getting the answer.

"Yes, I do-"

"Oh, really?"

"-I know what it is," Maleny spoke over him, "I do. I felt it before I even knew what it was."

Mikael stalked back to her, leaning down as she was still on the ground, "You think what you felt for Niklaus was..." he sardonically laughed, "...love?"

Maleny looked to the side, "Yes...there was no other word for it. Finn, Elijah, and Kol, I loved them to bits and pieces but...as brothers. They were my brothers. But Klaus, I..." she sighed, "...he made the simplest of things such puzzles..."

"Maleny," Rebekah came up to the blonde girl that was just coming out from the forest with a basket of damp clothes on her side, "Oh, thank God I found you. I need your help!"

Maleny didn't even get a word in before Rebekah dragged her by the arm towards a wooden table full of materials needed for basket making, "Let me guess," Maleny began when Rebekah cut her off frantically.

"I completely forgot I had to do this and now my mother is going to come back and shout at me or worse - she's going to-"

"Rebekah," Maleny rose her voice, completely amused by her. Rebekah blinked rapidly, trying to calm, while Maleny put down her basket on the edge of the table, "I can help you. I just finished washing clothes so I have time."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Rebekah beamed and got straight to work with the blonde beside her.

"Now dear Maleny," they heard Elijah's voice, "don't tell me you're honestly falling for our sister's clever lies."

Maleny looked up, as did Rebekah, and saw Elijah and Klaus coming towards them. Immediately her hands fumbled with the bits she held between her fingers.

"I am not lying," Rebekah huffed, indignant of her brother's accusation.

"Just last week you asked poor Maleny to help you in..." Klaus stopped a moment to remember the task but frowned and looked at Maleny, "...what was it again, Mal?"

"U-uh...fruit collecting," Maleny answered almost instantaneously.

"Right, and then two days ago she asked you to...?"

"Help her wash clothes."

Rebekah looked between her brother and Maleny, at first annoyed Maleny was just giving into the accusations but then she saw Maleny's face and, well...she sighed in defeat. Anything Klaus wanted to know from her she would automatically spill. However, she failed to see Klaus' face whenever Maleny spoke.

Elijah did not. He was outright bemused by the sudden silence that fell between the four. Maleny had returned to her basket making, though her fingers seemed to have lost their talent like if she had never even learned. Meanwhile, Klaus took to staring at her like she was doing the most interesting craft in the world.

But Maleny's yelp cut through the awkward air. She had accidentally poked herself and drew blood from her index finger. "Maybe I won't help," she said afterwards, wincing as she touched her finger, "Ow..."

"Here," Klaus gently took her hand into his, startling Maleny. She blushed madly, rapidly blinking. She felt her heart beating so violently she actually thought for a minute it would simply burst. It was an annoyance sometimes, honestly, to constantly be nervous around someone to the point where it became true fear they might muck it up some way. But she never wished for it to stop.

Maleny smiled to herself, forgetting the monstrous man she had inches from her, "Even to making a bloody basket was difficult for me..." she actually forgot the feelings Klaus provoked - and probably without even knowing it.

Mikael had heard enough and yanked the woman to her feet, gripping both her wrists, "You were doomed from the start, then," he declared and dragged her for the nearby human camp settlement, ignoring her struggles.

~ 0 ~

"Hayley!" Cami came frantically through the courtyard of the compound, "Hayley!"

"What!?" Hayley came out from one of the rooms upstairs, "I know you're kinda new at this but you realize I have super hearing, right?"

Cami ignored the sarcasm with a shake of her head, "Has Elijah came back yet!?"

The name of the Original put Hayley on edge, "...no."

Cami deeply sighed and ran a hand through her hair, "He's gonna MIA and that's not like him. I told you, he should've came in last night."

Hayley shifted on her feet as she admitted, "I couldn't quite track Oliver either."

That sent Cami a whole new wave of worriment, "If they're both missing then something happened, something Esther did I'm sure."

"We've got to find them," Hayley muttered and hurriedly went for the stairs.

"Please," Cami nearly sounded like she was begging, but she simply couldn't help it.

Even Gia had told her to calm down and just let Elijah call her when he called her. She made Cami rethink all of this 'distancing' idea with how worried she was over the Original. It certainly didn't seem like Cami wanted to stay away.

~ 0 ~

Mikael dragged Maleny into a run-down warehouse and once they were at the center of the prime room he shoved her to the dirty floor.

"You're a monster!" Maleny pushed her hair out of her face and glared up at the man, "But then that's nothing new. You've always been a monster, a cruel man, and always towards Klaus."

"I didn't always hate him," Mikael interjected, "When Klaus was born, I was overjoyed. I thought, 'This one- this one has the eyes of a warrior. He will be worthy.' But, my hope was short-lived. And, when I found out that he wasn't really my son, my relief was glorious. But, that passed with the knowledge that he was begat of a beast."

"Esther's infidelity was not his fault!" Maleny felt like a broken record as she said those words, "How do I get that through your thick head!?"

"Everything that followed was because of Niklaus' obsession with the wolves! He ventured out to watch them turn under the full moon, and he took my youngest son, Henrik. He was but a child, and he was torn apart."

"But that was an accident!" Maleny got up to her feet.

"An accident?" Mikael nearly lost it then, "AN ACCIDENT? HE MURDERED MY WIFE! HIS OWN MOTHER! Who sought to cleanse him of his beast-like nature! He betrayed me. He turned my entire family against me! And yet, you defend him?"

"You didn't need anyone to make your children turn against you!" Maleny shouted right back but her voice hardly equaled his roar, "You were an awful father right from the start! Everything that happened was because of you - you and Esther."

"And what about you, my dear?" Mikael appeared to be amused by her, "Are you going to forget you participated in the very spell that created vampires?"

A distraught Esther and Mikael were coming out of a friend's (or ex-friend now) house when Maleny approached them, appearing rather nervous.

"I can help," the blonde declared, her fingers playing with each other as a way to relieve her nervousness. Esther looked at the young woman, expecting some explanation, "I know what you're trying to do to Klaus and the others...and I want to help."

"You?" Mikael couldn't help the scoff come from his mouth.

However, Esther seemed less reluctant, "Now wait a minute, I have taught her everything she knows and she is Abigail's daughter, meaning her power is grand."

"I will help as much as I can," Maleny promised.

"Do you even understand what we are trying to do?" Mikael wondered.

"Not completely," Maleny admitted sheepishly, "but I know you are trying to help Klaus and I will do anything to facilitate that."

Esther exchanged a brief glance with Mikael and quickly compiled an easy lie to really get the girl, "We want to strengthen our children, make it so that no one can hurt them."

Maleny seemed pleased with what she heard and smiled, "Then I will most definitely help. All I ask in return is that you allow me to keep seeing your children. I have lost who I loved most when I was a child and I do not wish for that to repeat itself."

Mikael smirked and nodded, "Then it is a deal, child."

"No, I stand by what I did," Maleny straightened up, "Because when I did it I was told it would strengthen them, never to make them into vampires. You and Esther lied, and that is why it's your fault. Do not stand there and blame me, Klaus, Elijah, Rebekah or any of your children for being what they are - for what you and your wife did."

Mikael super sped up to her and grabbed her by the neck, "I used to have appreciation for you," he seemed to be studying her face, "As a child you reminded me of my eldest daughter who died. When you grew up, I thought you would make a fine addition to the family as the wife of one of my sons..."

"I would've happily done that," Maleny coughed as the air struggled to get into her lungs.

"Oh no, no - you speak of Niklaus when I speak of my true sons," Mikael gripped her throat just a little tighter. Maleny's hands flung to his arms, trying to push him off, "Perhaps Finn? Elijah? or Kol? He was nearer to your age..."

"That would've happened over my dead body!" Maleny shouted and kicked his shin. While it did no actual harm, Mikael was forced to let go of her from the sudden spark of pain. Maleny immediately took a deep breath.

"You are a stupid girl," Mikael snatched her by the arm, baring his fangs out for her.

"N-n-n-n-no! Don't-"

But Mikael bit down on her neck and Maleny screamed in utter pain.

~ 0 ~

In the location of Mikael's earlier meal in the woods stood Klaus who finished feeding off the remainders of the living humans. He needed all the bits of strength he could gather if he wanted to save Maleny. His mind was buzzing with all the different strategies that could possibly guarantee Maleny returning home with her life, even if it was just her who was left alive. He hadn't stopped cursing himself for being the complete careless man he kept swearing to Maleny he wouldn't be to keep her safe. Every time he got the smallest distraction (and usually by her ironically) she was hurt.

His phone ringing interrupted his grim thoughts, and when he answered he didn't bother hiding his impatience and rage, "What the hell do you want now, Hayley!? I'm a busy."

"That's rude, even for you," Hayley said back, and Klaus could picture her rolling her eyes, "I take it you've done no progress with Maleny whatso-"

"Don't speak further if you know what's good for you!" Klaus snapped, "Was there a point to this phone call?"

"Something has happened to Elijah. He was supposed to be our decoy last night, and now he's vanished. There's blood everywhere- werewolf and vampire. There's a trail. Cami and I need you to help us track it."

Klaus pinched the bridge of his nose as he mentally added one more problem to his list, "Well, as much as I might like to help you find my brother, I have more pressing matters as the moment."

"What's more important than your own brother?" Hayley indignantly inquired.

"Not 'more important' simply a main priority," Klaus clarified, "Starting with the only one out of all of us that still has a live, beating heart."

"Maleny?" Hayley repeated, confused, "What's happened?"

"Mikael took her," Klaus answered, his rage bubbling in each of the words, "He took her and I'm trying to find her - on my own - before she's truly hurt."

"So you have a plan, then?"

"Not exactly. Mikael now has Tunde's blade and the white oak stake but I'm sure I'll come up with something."

"Klaus, are you out of your mind!?"

"Frankly, yes, but I'm sure that'll go away once I find Maleny...because I will find her," Klaus almost promised at the spot, "And then I'm gonna end this. Either Mikael or I will be ash by day's end."

"I think we would all prefer for the ashes to be Mikael's," Hayley cut in, sounding less irritated than before, "Be careful, and bring back Mal. Cami and I will work to get Elijah back."

"Sounds like a plan," Klaus said, though really the thought of his family hadn't even crossed his mind once since he'd began searching for Maleny. There was no room to think of anything else that didn't involve Maleny.

~ 0 ~

Cami was inside the bedroom she often used in the compound when she stayed overnight. She held Elijah's gifted journal in her hands, skimming a couple paragraphs across several pages. When she heard footsteps nearing, she looked up and saw Hayley coming in. She closed her journal, awkwardly placing her hands over it like she were protecting it from unwanted eyes.

Hayley saw the action and lightly smiled, "I'm not gonna pick the lock and peek," she playfully warned.

"Sorry," Cami flushed and looked down.

"You know Elijah often looked at that thing while you were gone," Hayley leaned against the dresser, smirking at Cami's horrified face, "I literally mean staring at its covers," Hayley clarified, "As if Elijah would peak into you diary."

"Right..." Cami bit her lip, feeling slightly guilty for thinking Elijah would read her private thoughts when he was the one who gifted her the journal.

"He missed you a lot," Hayley said quietly, "I think he would be happy to see you this concerned over him."

"Just because I left didn't mean I stopped caring for you guys," Cami shrugged.

"Oh c'mon, Cami, if Elijah had done the same thing you did wouldn't you feel a little distraught?"

Cami sighed, rubbing her face in frustration, "God, I messed up. I didn't...I didn't mean to cause all this trouble. I was having problems of my own and I just...I took an abrupt decision, okay? Everyone does it."

"Agreed," Hayley raised her hands to show her neutral side.

"I just...I just want him back here," Cami then said quieter, "Is Klaus on his way?"

"Yeah, about that..." Hayley pushed herself off the dresser and walked about in the room, "...see, there's another problem that he really has to take care of right now."

"What?" Cami frowned. "Is he serious? We need him here to help us find Elijah!"

"Cami," Hayley sharply looked at her, "he's trying to find Maleny."

Cami blinked rapidly for a couple seconds, "C-come again now? Why would he need to find Maleny? I thought he was following her?"

"They found Mikael, apparently, and I guess he broke free from Davina's spell or something because he took Maleny..."

"What!?" Cami jumped from her spot on the bed, letting her journal fall to the floor, "My cousin's missing and you didn't tell me right away!?"

"Sorry," Hayley meekly apologized, "Look, he's going to find Mal and we're going to find Elijah."

"We need to help find Maleny," Cami shook her head, quickly prioritizing in her mind.

"What? But what about Elijah?"

"You said that this place," Cami gestured to the compound, "was home for me too and that everyone here was family. We find the person who needs more help. Elijah's an Original and wherever he is he can't die but Maleny can. He would want us to go find her first."

Hayley could hear Elijah saying something similar, as he once showed it when he chose her before Klaus and Rebekah during Celeste's awful game. It was necessary prioritizing.

~ 0 ~

It wasn't long before Klaus caught up with Mikael's trail to the abandoned warehouse. He was walking in with no weapons save a makeshift stake from a discarded shovel he found outside. It was nothing compared to what Mikael possessed but it was all there was and he was going to fight no matter what.

He barely contained himself he came into the warehouse and found Mikael holding Maleny at knife-point. He could see Maleny already weakened by the dried up blood on her neck from an earlier feeding - her face of cuts and dirt were the prominent second. Her eyes begged to be helped as the knife poked her flesh.

"You're gonna pay for hurting her," he angrily warned, moving for them but Mikael purposely pricked Maleny's neck to keep him back, "You always talk about what a 'man' should do and yet you use a mortal in your fights?"

Mikael scowled at the accusation, "I don't need a mortal in my battles - I already have two weapons that could easily kill you. She was merely insurance that you followed the trail. However, I did make her a promise that I'd drain the rest of her right in front of your eyes, just before you burn."

"LET HER GO!" roared Klaus, baring his hybrid face. He charged with enough speed to prevent Mikael from threatening Maleny again. He pushed Mikael across the room towards the wall, but from the great blow they broke into the second room.

Maleny fell to the floor and gasped, her hand flying to her blood-covered neck. She winced at the many crashes from the other room and looked around for anything that could help bring down Mikael. She decided nothing could beat the white oak stake but it didn't mean she couldn't use her magic to help Klaus get an advantage over Mikael. Pushing herself up to her feet, she drew a big breath and focused on a spell.

In the next room, Klaus had gotten Mikael down to the floor and was able to retrieve the white oak stake. However, Mikael then flung to Papa Tunde's blade towards Maleny, making Klaus leave speed into the main room to catch the blade before it could hurt Maleny. In doing so, he allowed Mikael to retrieve the white oak stake again from the floor. Mikael wasn't one to waste time so sped up to Klaus and stabbed him in the chest.

To Maleny, it almost felt as if her world has stopped then, "NOO!" she screamed in horror.

Klaus gave his own shriek of pain, his face beginning to desiccate with the stake embedded in his chest. Mikael eagerly awaited for the fire to begin and truly end Klaus but when nothing happened he became furious.

"Why aren't you burning? If you were dead, it would burn. Burn!"

Maleny's breath hitched in her throat when she realized the same thing. There was a spell brewing and it was close by. Whatever it was, it was holding back the stake's power, meaning there was still time to save Klaus. As soon as Mikael left the room to find the mysterious spell's origin, Maleny dashed towards Klaus.

She dropped to her knees and began pulling on the stake, trying to get it out, "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon," she grunted, ignoring her teary eyes as best she could. She didn't know when the spell would stop so she needed to be quick, but her weakness had proven a little stronger, "Isabelle, please help," she whispered and took a deep breath and she reached out to her French coven's help. Once she felt the power source through her veins, she finally pulled the stake from Klaus' chest.

She began smiling when she saw the color return to his face, even though it would take a little longer for him to wake up. What she would give to hear one of his sarcastic remarks, or anything for that matter. Because if he spoke, he would be fine, and then she would be fine too.

"What do you think you're doing?" Mikael's voice startled her into getting up.

She gripped the stake in her hands, holding towards him, "Stay the hell away from us! Or, I swear to God, I'll kill you myself."

Mikael looked mildly impressed, "You have a warrior's heart. Perhaps I'll keep it as a souvenir."

"That's funny - you think I'm alone in this," Maleny smirked with a tilt of her head, "One thing about witches, most of us stand together," she lowered the stake and mustered all her energy to match Isabelle's coven's and with a powerful gust of wind flung Mikael back against a wall, "I am not the naive girl of forest anymore, Mikael. I've learned my share of battle techniques with the centuries!" she made for it to cause an aneurysm, though it was simultaneously draining what little energy she had left.

Thankfully, Hayley appeared, along with Marcel, and started pounding on Mikael. Cami ran straight in for her blonde cousin who wobbled on her feet.

"Now, ENOUGH!" Mikael roared in rage, finally able to shove Marcel backwards, "This night has been a long parade of fools. I'll enjoy killing every last one of you."

Klaus finally woke up with a gasp and wasted no time in getting up. Hayley grabbed a silver chain off the floor and threw it around Mikael's neck, pulling hard enough to knock him off his feet.

"Yeah, I wouldn't bet on it," she cast a smirk.

Davina entered the room in a hasty run, her neck oozing with blood Mikael had decided to feed on due to her spell. She went straight for Maleny, feeling awful she'd let her get caught in the crossfire. Though that also added to the many opponents Mikael already had - and that he knew.

"It's over, Mikael. You're outnumbered," Klaus called out to the man, "Are you going to beg for your miserable life?"

Mikael laughed, "You think having people makes you strong? It proves how weak you are. Come find me when you don't have fools, women and children fighting your battles," he threw them a scrap of wood at them before speeding out of the place.

The relief flooding the room became evident with the sighs that came out of everyone. After things got settled, Hayley and Marcel went to give the immediate area a final check for Mikael. Davina knew she had to get back to her 'friend' Kol who was outside, probably unconscious from Mikael's attack, but she wanted to have a word with Maleny first. She only took two steps forwards when Cami blocked the way.

"Cami, I just want to-"

"You've overdid it this time, Davina," the blonde scolded, though it was clear Cami struggled to be severely angry. She was still used to seeing Davina as just some kid who continued to be caught in crossfires of supernaturals. But now that she was a vampire, she had to force herself to see Davina as what she was: a witch with great power.

"I know," Davina agreed, but she wasn't sorry for trying to kill Klaus. She was only sorry Maleny got hurt and Marcel nearly died.

"Then you know I don't want to see you right now," Maleny called from her spot across the room, now sitting down on a wooden bench. She was waiting for Klaus to return with something to help her clean herself up. She needed Davina to be out of the room by that time that happened. God knows what the raging hybrid might do to the teen then.

"Mal, I'm really sorry," Davina ran a hand through her hair, frustrated.

"I know you are," Maleny could tell by her face the teen was genuinely sorry for her actions but it didn't erase all that happened, "I just don't want to see you right now. I think I'm entitled that after the day I had."

"If I can just explain-"

"Explain what, Davina?" Maleny couldn't help the cold tone lacing her words. She would've stood up if she felt herself again but for the moment she was stuck to the bench, "That you wanted to kill Klaus? Yeah, I heard the story. There's nothing to explain."

"You can't defend him, Mal! He's not a good person-"

"And neither are you, but you don't see me calling you out," Maleny said sourly, "I know what Klaus did to you and you don't know how sorry I am for that. You didn't deserve it."

"He killed Tim!" Davina exclaimed, her anger getting the best of her, "How can you defend that? Do you know how that feels?"

"See that's what I want you to think about," Maleny replied with, "If you know how that feels, losing someone you care about...why would you want to condemn to feel the same thing? After centuries of this curse, I...I don't think I could bear losing him anymore. If he dies then I will follow him."

"Mal, he's not…" Davina's eyes widened, gesturing back, "...he's not...he's not a good person! He's not worth it! You can do so much better-"

"I already have what I want from life and rest assure I will fight against anyone who threatens that," and however she could, she managed to stand but when Cami saw her wobbly legs she ran over to help, "And I'm sorry Davina, but if that means I have to fight you too...then I will."

Davina's eyes became glossy with the declaration, but she would not back down from what she felt was right, "Well," she swallowed down, "then I guess you've picked your side."

"I don't hate you Davina," Maleny whispered, "You're like a little sister to me..."

"I don't hate you either," Davina replied with the same whisper-like tone. Seeing there was no other thing to do, she turned on her heels and walked out.

Maleny sniffled and Cami slowly sat her down, "I'm sorry, Mal."

"For what?" Maleny sighed, "It wasn't you that tried to kill Klaus. I should be thanking you, actually. I heard Elijah's missing and yet you came down to help."

"Yeah well, Marcel learned what was going on and if Klaus dies so does he so that's how we got our ride here."

"And you?" Maleny looked at her cousin studiously, "You've gone for two weeks and you suddenly came by to help?" Cami guiltily looked to the side, "What happened, Cami?" Maleny asked quietly, "Elijah came back and said you two had a disagreement or something…"

"Petty disagreement," Cami dismissed the Original's topic with a clear of her throat.

"Right, well that 'petty disagreement'," Maleny did air quotation marks, "had Elijah moping around like never before," she then noticed the blush creeping over Cami's cheek, making her begin to smirk, "Cami...is there something you'd like to share with me?"

Cami thanked her lucky stars that Klaus came into the room as she was no where near ready to talk about that with Maleny.

"Not much but I did find this," the hybrid waved a long towel in his hand, "Marcel might be pretty irritated I ransacked his car."

Maleny smiled as he came up to them and Cami felt it was time to for her to go, "I'll go see if Hayley and Marcel are back," she excused herself with rapidness and hurried out.

"What's wrong with her?" Klaus asked curiously as he watched the blonde vampire head out rapidly.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure she's got the hots for your brother but doesn't realize it yet," Maleny shrugged casually and took the towel from him, "But don't tell anyone I said that."

Klaus would've laughed at her if it hadn't been for everything that had happened earlier. He bent down in front of her to clear up the dried blood from her when she noticed the stab wound on his chest hadn't cleared up yet.

"Is that going to hurt longer?" she whispered, gently placing a hand over the wound.

"It'll be fine soon enough," Klaus took her hand and gripped it, "You pulled the stake out in the nick of time. A moment longer, and I would have been done for."

Horrified to even hear that thought, she shook her head, "Don't even say it. I don't...I don't ever want to hear the possibility of that. Instead, I'd like to hear how we plan to kill Mikael as soon as we get the chance. Because I want him dead - to ashes if possible."

Klaus raised an eyebrow, taken aback by the cold bluntness in her tone, "Well, and here I thought you'd be getting rest and-"

"Listen," Maleny stopped him with her other hand, "When we stop Mikael and find Elijah then you can be a good nurse this time and put me to bed…" and then she thought how that sounded out a second later, "...okay, that sounded less awkward in my head," Klaus smirked and Maleny, embarrassed, laughed and hid her face behind her hands, "Shut up, just shut up and don't say anything."

Klaus lowered her hands from her face and softened as he reached to touch the bite marks still clear on her neck, "You shouldn't have been caught in this…"

"I've always been in this and that's the way I want it to be," Maleny firmly told him, "This is my side, my choice and no one's going to take it from me," surprised, Klaus blinked and slowly began to smile.

"You made your decision," Klaus felt like a child the way he said it, unable to hide his relief and happiness as he cupped her face.

"In the end, this is my family," Maleny softly said, purposely leaning forwards, "I came so far and I'm not losing any one of you for anything nor anyone."

She had the most beautiful of smiles across her face, so Klaus thought. He traced her lips with a thumb, wondering what kind of scold he would get from her if he stole a kiss off her. Unfortunately, mere seconds after he decided going for one, the others returned.

"So, Mikael's no where to be seen," Hayley announced, eyeing the pink-faced Maleny.

Klaus rose to his feet and turned to the trio, looking less embarrassed than Maleny, "I appreciate your assistance."

Marcel smiled, "Well, hey! You die, I die. Just call me selfish," but his eyes moved to Maleny and for the first time since they met, he spoke to her a in a kind tone, "I'm glad you're okay too, Maleny."

The blonde nodded, "Thank you. I'm glad my cousin's been in good care for this past week. I really appreciate that."

"And now that everything's a little better, I think we all need to turn our attention to Elijah," Cami reminded them all, hoping she didn't sound rude, "And we should hurry up."

And just like she wanted, they did.

~ 0 ~

One day passed and to everyone's misfortune (especially Cami's) Elijah was no where in sight. It led Klaus to do his common strategies when time was turning precious - torture. Consequently, in her piano room, Maleny desperately tried to drown out the shrill cries of pain by trying to successfully reproduce a tune Elijah had been meaning to teach her.

"Lavender's blue..." she mumbled to herself, wincing every now and then, "...lavender...lavender..." but then came the biggest scream possible and she quit, "Ah!" she growled in frustration and raised her hands, balling them into fists.

It had been her ridiculous attempt to get over being kidnapped and nearly killed instead of going for the usual 'take a rest and nap' thing. Clearly, nothing would be working. Taking a breath, she got up and left the room.

She passed Klaus' bedroom in favor of Hayley's, knowing the first was locked for clear reasons. Hayley was already having a conversation with Klaus in the nursery room, the connecting doors of Klaus' room also shut.

"So, the word 'interrogation' has lost the meaning I knew about," Maleny walked in more or less annoyed with the disturbance.

"Turns out witches are delicate creatures," Klaus said without thinking and earned himself a mock glare.

"Thanks," Maleny crossed her arms.

"Of course not you, love," Klaus casually corrected himself, unaware of the blush and smile the blonde acquired from the comment, "No matter! I suspected my mother had Elijah captive."

"Great," Haley started fishing for her phone in her jeans' pocket, "Then let's call Cami and tell her. She's been out looking with Gia."

But Klaus refused with a shake of his head, "Esther is too powerful. She won't be easily found. I need to draw her out."

"On your own," Maleny blinked, "That's too dangerous."

"Well you can't come with me, can you?" Klaus countered with and quickly shut Hayley down before she nominated herself, "And since you need someone to watch over you, Hayley's staying here."

"Are we really going through this whole babysitting thing again?" Maleny raised an eyebrow, "Because I think I've dealt with worse things now."

"Look, if either of you come," Klaus gestured between her and Hayley, "then my mother will be sure to use one of you - if not both of you - to thwart me. I can't save Elijah if I'm busy saving you," he moved to close the doors again when Maleny stopped him.

"Can we talk afterwards, then?" Maleny inquired in low whisper, "It's really important," and yet even though it was so important she hadn't had the chance to talk to him about it since they returned from Mikael's adventure. Klaus had immediately set to finding Elijah all through the day and the morning.

"Afterwards," Klaus promised with a wide smile, moving back into his room.

Maleny sighed and whirled around to Hayley, looking more than disappointed. Hayley patted her arm and started leading her back to her own room on the other side of the nursery, "There, there, you want a drink?"

Maleny playfully rolled her eyes, "You can't get me drunk to forget my problems, Hayley. One of these days, it's not going to work."

Hayley laughed as they walked out of her room when they both heard a new voice calling out from the courtyard.

"Hello?" it was a young woman's voice...and French too, "Hello? Is anyone in here?"

Maleny's eyes widened as she recognized the voice and therefore the woman. She quickly ran up to the banister and looked down to see a tall, dark-haired woman standing in the middle, curiously looking around.

Hayley came up beside her, confused of what was happening, "Who's that, Mal?"

Maleny smiled at the woman below, "Amarrah!"

~ 0 ~

Cami and Gia walked into Marcel's apartment wearing glum faces, though the blonde looked more upset as was expected. After patrolling the Quarter, and the Algiers, they came up with nothing new on Elijah.

"So I'm assuming the search wasn't a success?" Marcel asked from the couch.

"Do you see an Original with us?" Cami sarcastically motioned to the space around her.

"She's a bit cranky cos she hasn't slept at all," Gia sarcastically smiled as she plopped down to the couch across Marcel, "We did what you advised - kept a low profile - went all over the city but there's no sign of Elijah anywhere."

"Yeah," Marcel nodded, "The humans I know said the same thing. Maybe Klaus is having better luck?"

"He would've called me already," Cami rubbed her face in pure frustration. She could not believe Elijah had been gone for days now and without leaving a trace.

"Actually," Hayley strolled into the room, "He would not have. Mal would kill him if he did."

Cami quickly turned around for the brunette, "Has he found him yet?"

"No," Hayley shook her head, "But I could use a rescue mission team again."

"For Elijah…?"

"Nope, that's all Klaus," Hayley clarified, "I'm talking about Oliver. Now, he and Elijah were fighting the werewolves together. I've heard that Oliver's been captured and is about to be executed. Now, look- if we can save Oliver, then we might be able to find out where Elijah is."

Marcel thought the plan wrong and made his question, "Kay, so what do you want from us?"

"Just a little distraction. Esther's son, Finn, he's the one that's controlling the werewolves. If you can keep him out of the way, I can go get Ollie myself."

"You can't take on all those wolves by yourself. You'll get killed, and then I'll get killed for letting it happen."

Hayley sighed, "I'm not going in alone. The werewolves may be answering to the witches, but they still have an Alpha. I just have to find him."

"Jackson?" Cami recalled the name of Hayley's supposed betrothed and frowned, "He's been gone for months now. How do you expect to find him?"

Hayley didn't have a clear plan but she knew she was going to find him no matter what, "Are you in or out?"

Cami bit her lip, glancing at the window, "But Elijah…"

"Will be found by Klaus," Hayley assured.

"And Mal…?"

"She sort of has company today," Hayley crossed her arms, "So she'll be pretty safe with that woman. Cami, I really need your help. Can I count on you?"

Cami looked at the brunette and nodded, "Of course," and she motioned for Hayley to lead the way.

~ 0 ~

Amarrah Collins, daughter of one of the heads in the French coven that helped Maleny recuperate, sat on the foot of Maleny's bed intently studying every aspect of Maleny's bedroom. The expression on Amarrah's face led Maleny to believe she was angry - or at the very least annoyed. To be fair, Maleny was also annoyed with her abrupt presence because she knew Isabelle had sent the daughter to look after her.

"You were kidnapped," Amarrah broke the tensed silence in the room, finally returning her emerald green eyes to Maleny, the blonde leaning against her dresser.

"I suppose Isabelle felt the channeling of powers..." Maleny sighed, but was far stunned after Amarrah made a revelation.

"I have been in the Quarter for two weeks now and I am, frankly, appalled with your situation and the Mikaelsons."

"Wh-what-"

"How in the hell does this all powerful hybrid think it safe for you to wander the streets on your own when you could be hunted down?"

Maleny was blinking rapidly, her mind racing to let it sink in that Amarrah had basically been witness to all that occurred in the last two weeks. Amarrah was a genuinely fun person to be around with - a very witty woman - but when she was angry God help the people who are on the receiving end.

"Maleny, I thought this man, though impulsive as you said, was responsible," Amarrah crossed her arms, quite frankly disappointed she hadn't gotten a chance to meet this Klaus to give him a piece of her mind.

"He is-" Maleny meekly began but Amarrah wasn't finished.

"You have been in and out of this compound and mostly on your own. Very few times have I witnessed either the brunette woman accompanying you. My mother was right - you are in way over your head."

"Now wait a minute," Maleny straightened up, "People can't be with me 24/7. I can walk now, Ams, and I have enough power to defend myself."

"That's not the point," Amarrah interjected, "If someone finds to your last corpse and so happens to know witches they can bring you down."

"Thanks Ams," Maleny walked away from her French friend.

Amarrah sighed, softening somewhat, "You know I care for you, Mal, but I am very concerned for you alright? You told my mother Esther was back and, well...she's crazy!"

"I noticed," Maleny sarcastically said back, pretending to fiddle with a cardigan draped over her vanity desk chair.

"And then you were kidnapped. Do you know how crazy I went when I figured it out!? Mal, I was up and ready to call Mum!"

"You didn't actually do that did you!?" Maleny had whirled around in terror of the idea.

"No," Amarrah assured, "But I feel like I should have. I had no idea how to find you without anything of yours."

"I'm back, and I'm okay," Maleny gestured to her perfectly well appearance.

"I am very relieved," Amarrah sternly said, "But I am very serious about your security guards around here."

Maleny groaned and walked over to her bed, promptly letting herself fall flat on her back. She shut her eyes, "Please, not you too. Anyone but you. You're the fun one! The party one!"

"Am not," Amarrah shot her an offended look, "I'm a Police detective for crying out loud! I don't party."

"But you are still the fun one," Maleny insisted, opening her eyes, "And I am begging you not to talk about my 'safety measures'. For all that is good please spare me it."

Amarrah held her hands in surrender, "I suppose I'm not the first one who's brought it up?"

"You suppose right. Everyone does it - it's like the hot news of every freaking day. But oh! There's no one who does it more than Klaus."

"Hm, I guess there had to be something he did right in the midst of all this," Amarrah pretended to mutter to herself and got a whack on the arm from Maleny, "He couldn't be all bad, I meant."

"He's not bad to me, Ams. We can have our arguments and silent treatments but...even when you saw me out in the Quarter alone I knew he was somewhere in the crowd watching me over."

"Seriously?" Amarrah glanced at the blonde, doubtful. She had figured out there must have been a falling out between Maleny and Klaus during the two weeks she had been there, but she did come to believe the hybrid had just let her friend roam the streets on her own. "How would you know that? Did you see him?"

"Nope."

"Then how would you know?" she insisted again.

Maleny smiled to herself, staring up at the ceiling, "Because that's what he always does. It's actually kind of cute that he thinks I don't know he does it."

Amarrah made a face at that but Maleny didn't see it due to her dreamy stare up above, "You have one weird relationship, have I mentioned?"

Maleny sighed, "It's unique. And I like unique. But you know what I would really like more?"

"What?"

"To actually be in a proper, official relationship."

Amarrah gaped then, "You mean you're still..." she made a gesture with her hand, "...not together?"

"We've been busy," Maleny mumbled, "Arguing...and then solving problems...and arguing...a lot…" at the look Amarrah gave Maleny groaned, "It's not because of him. It's actually my fault."

"How so?"

"It's me being afraid, like usual," Maleny sighed, "It took one of my friends to give me a reality check. I've been meaning to talk to him but there's been some interruptions. But hopefully, when Klaus finds his brother we'll get some free time and I can tell him that I love him."

"I mean...if that's what you want to do," Amarrah scratched her head. Maleny rolled her eyes, knowing quite well that her friend disagreed with her love life. But, unlike Davina, she didn't constantly try to turn her away from it. She understood that it wasn't something she could understand. She was barely twenty six and hadn't really left her ranch town home in France in all of her life.

"I do," Maleny said with absolutely no doubt in her mind.

Amarrah then looked at her again, amusingly smiling, "You have such a weird relationship though..."

Maleny matched her smile, grateful they were slowly falling into their normal selves again, "Hey, at one point in our lives, Klaus and I were normal. It just another story of girl likes boy, boy likes girl."

"Yeah, before boy's parents turned boy into a hungry vampire," Amarrah reminded.

"Something girl also helped them to do," Maleny sat upright and shrugged, "But even after that, it was all good. I mean, there was a point where Klaus pushed me away while he learned to control himself, but eventually he did and we were okay again. All this that's happened, while bad, I wouldn't give up for a 'redo'."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," Maleny nodded, "Because if we had stayed human we would have been dead for centuries now. There would be no New Orleans, no Cami, no Hayley, no Amarrah," she nudged the dark haired woman, "No French ranch...no little Hope Mikaelson."

"But there could have been different Mikaelson children," Amarrah didn't fail to bring up, "A child, Mal. Children. And they would be yours and Klaus. You wouldn't have been a step mother to some kid."

"I haven't even met Hope and I already love her to bits so please don't ever make it sound like it would be a burden to care for her," Maleny sharply scolded, understanding it hadn't been Amarrah's intention but she never wanted to hear something like that again, "And as for my own kids...they would've been nice - Klaus and I did have plans - but...it didn't happen. And it's sad, but there's nothing to do now."

Amarrah put an arm around Maleny's shoulders, "You're right, though," she said, in an attempt to uplift the mood she had brought down, "All this may be weird but you do sure love your weirdness."

That Maleny chuckle, "Oh Ams, I've missed you. And I'm fairly crossed you didn't come to me the moment you arrived to the Quarter."

"Sorry," Amarrah retracted her arm and stood up, Maleny noticing the sudden change in her tone, "I got, unintentionally, mixed up in a problem."

"What do you mean?"

Amarrah bit her lip nervously, "Mal, there's something you need to know."

"Like?"

"Okay," Amarrah sucked in a big breath and said it all in one go, "By accident I sort of made myself friends with the man I believe is your almost-boyfriend's older brother."

"Finn?" Maleny's mouth fell open.

"Mhm, please don't tell my mother! She will definitely kill me!"

"Ams, what's wrong with you!?"

"I didn't know who he was until a week ago! I thought he was just some guy renting me my apartment!"

"He's passing himself off as your landlord?" Maleny made a face, beginning to grow angry.

"I swear I was going to handle it on my own but I don't exactly know how to deal with a Mikaelson! Especially with a powerful witch like Finn."

"We'd need more people for that job," Maleny pointed, "But for now, I think you may be able to help out with another problem. Ams, I seriously hate to ask you but do you think you could help one of my friends today?"

"Sure, I guess," Amarrah shrugged, "But what's that go to do with this?"

"Because I'm pretty sure you're the key to helping Hayley save her friend from execution today," Maleny sighed and got up, walking to her nightstand where her phone laid.

~ 0 ~

And so that was how Amarrah found herself opening the door to her apartment for 'Vincent' (Finn) later on that day. Meeting up with this Hayley woman, they devised a plan in which Amarrah would keep Vincent occupied for an entire afternoon while she saved her friend Oliver from dying. That was why her kitchen's sink was an utter disaster.

'Vincent' may probably not even leave until late night came by.

And Finn having no idea who Amarrah herself was nor the trick being played, went right along with it.

~ 0 ~

Maleny read the text message Amarrah managed to send her a couple minutes back. She then texted Hayley to freely move on with her plan to save Ollie. Afterwards, the blonde headed for her room in the compound, still glum she'd been practically sent back like a kid to wait out the danger. Without Klaus, Elijah nor Hayley to 'look after her' Maleny was put under Cami's jurisdiction...though Cami herself wasn't too pleased with the plan. But since Hayley had technically found a much easier way to distract Finn, there hadn't been a need for much backup.

"Still nothing," a distraught Cami walked into Maleny's room, throwing off her jacket in frustration, "I thought Klaus was supposed to be good at hunting people down. Why hasn't he called?"

"Because he's still looking," Maleny said the obvious and earned a mock-glare from Cami.

"This isn't funny!" the blonde vampire exclaimed, "Elijah disappeared without a trace. Esther could be hurting him right now!"

"I doubt it, honestly," Maleny dismissed it casually as she continued ripping out pages from her journal, "Esther can be twisted but her methods are non life-threatening. She just wants them to accept her offer."

"You mean the one to place them, Hayley and I into mortal bodies?" Cami scoffed at the absurdity and went to sit on Maleny's bed.

Maleny sat at the edge and was filling up her area with balled papers, "The very one. Of course for me the offer is to get my previous corpse back and finally end the curse."

Cami shifted to face the blonde, "But can she really do it, though? Can she find your corpse?"

"I don't think she has to look very far," Maleny said and Cami tilted her head curiously, waiting for a clarification. Maleny stopped ripping up papers to look at her cousin, "It took me longer to figure out but I finally did. Esther has had my corpse this entire time."

Cami's eyes widened, "What!? How would you know!?"

"Because she never said to find my corpse, she was always keen on making sure I understood she could end the curse," Maleny elaborated the brief clue but clue nonetheless, "Anyone offering me a deal would begin more specifically by assuring me they would help me find the corpse. She's so calm about this curse and someone who has no pawns to play wouldn't be. She has my corpse somewhere, hidden no doubt."

"And you say this calmly?" Cami blinked rapidly, "If you've known this why didn't you say something?"

"Because I only just realized it," Maleny sighed.

"Are you going to tell Klaus?"

"Eventually, but after he gets Elijah back. Priorities."

Cami gave a nod of understanding. She seemed to be grateful for Maleny's way of thinking. Right now, their main priority was getting Elijah back. She really missed the Original in the sharp suit. Time seemed to pass far slower than it normally would, and it would continue to until Klaus returned with Elijah.

~ 0 ~

"You know, I liked this whole distracting thing," Amarrah chuckled over the phone, making Maleny roll her eyes. She should've figured Amarrah would be laughing over the grave situation. Amarrah always talked about adventure back in France, how she wanted to travel and do new things. Maleny wondered if these were the sorts of things Amarrah was thinking about.

"Well, Hayley says thanks," Maleny stood at the doorway of her room, actively waiting for the return of Klaus and hopefully Elijah, "She got Ollie back. She's in the bayou right now with him and apparently Jackson."

"But you know, speaking strategically, this thing could be good for you guys," Amarrah paused for a minute, "I think he may like me."

"No, trust me," Maleny shook her head, "Finn has only ever loved one woman and I doubt she'll ever make an appearance. You're some type of pawn for him and Esther."

"Oh, thanks," Amarrah laughed for a minute before going sober, "I meant that this little thing your friend Finn has with me can come in handy when you need another distraction - or even information. Haven't you heard the saying? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?"

"Except I doubt that saying was talking about a thousand-old witch and her son," Maleny leaned off the door fringe and sighed.

"I'm only saying, Mal. It can come in handy."

"Thank you Amarrah, seriously," Maleny said quietly, "And I'm glad you decided to tell me you were here. Though I'm still not content that Isabelle made you come just to keep an eye on me."

"It's alright," Amarrah said, "The entire family's worried about you, Mal. You've been our most precious possession for centuries."

"Because that doesn't make me feel weird," Maleny laughed, her cheeks a bright pink.

"You are, hush! Now, I must leave you for sleep. Goodnight, Mal. And...good luck with your special talk tonight."

Maleny then blushed deeper, "Goodnight Amarrah," she quickly said back then hung up.

Just as she returned to her bedroom, she heard noise from downstairs. She quickly left her cellphone in her room and ran out, barely catching Klaus going into Elijah's room upstairs.

"Cami!" Maleny immediately called for and ran for Elijah's bedroom. Elijah was laid flat on his bed, his clothes torn and disheveled, "What happened to him?" she asked Klaus quietly.

"My mother," Klaus muttered just as Cami hurried inside.

"Oh my God!" the blonde was in horror but nonetheless ran for Elijah's side, "What the hell happened to him?" she didn't know how to care for him, nor even how to touch him fearing she would only hurt him. He was breathing erratically and shifting in his sleep, which Cami figured wasn't really 'asleep' but some sort of trance or spell.

"It was Esther, she had him in the cemetery and did God knows what," Klaus shook his head and headed out of the room.

"How do we help him?" Cami turned after him but remained put.

"I don't know yet," Klaus answered and glanced to his brother, for once having no idea how to help, "Esther said he would be asleep for an entire day, and then...I don't know..."

Esther had shown Elijah 'the error of his ways' and left him in that state. There would be dire consequences and Klaus could only fear what they were.

[hdgaywriting]

Eighth Year - Drarry Fic Part 4

The weeks crept on at Hogwarts and before you knew it, quidditch season was upon them. Harry was filled with new excitement at the prospect of having an uninterrupted quidditch season. He was sure to help Gryffindor fly to the top and secure the cup. He and Ginny were co-captains this year, and tryouts had gone brilliant. Ron even made the team again! Another great thing about quidditch is that it was something Harry and Draco actually had in common. The two boys would wake up together and get ready for practice, trudging through morning dew on the pitch. Draco had even lent Harry his broom polish, and in return Harry had given him some tips on broom stabilization.

It was after a particularly fun scrimmage that the two Seekers had a profound moment. They were in their room, changing out of their sweaty uniforms that Harry again noticed Draco’s silvery scars. In the spirit of their new-founded familiarity with each other (friendship was still a strong word) he decided to ask Draco about it.

“Malfoy, how’d you get those scars on your chest?” The grey eyes looked up at him and Draco’s face turned tense and cold. Harry thought he was going to get ignored, but to his surprise Draco opened his mouth to speak.

“My house was broken into over the Summer. Crazed half-bloods who were mad at my parents. Said they were fans of the Order of the Phoenix and I should rot. It was some sort of spell I’d never heard of.” Draco paused and Harry saw his face contort in pain, making his sharp features more vicious. “Something similar to sectumsempra.” Draco stared harshly at the floor, unwilling to meet Harry’s gaze.

On the inside, Harry’s stomach lurched. Sectumsempra was the spell he cruelly used on Draco their sixth year. It had nearly killed him. It quite literally slashed him all over. He knew he couldn’t take it back, but his heart wanted to fix it. He walked forward, closer to his roommate. Draco stood still, statuesque. Harry impulsively cupped Draco’s chin in his hand. He heard Malfoy’s sharp intake of breath, a sound Harry knew was out of surprise. He made Draco look him in the eyes.

“I was wrong to use that spell.” Harry said. He meant it with every part of him. Draco’s face didn’t move a muscle. He continued to stare at Harry with a blank gaze. He was unreadable, like every trace of humanity was stuck under the surface. Harry dropped his hand and left the room with his broom in his hands. He needed to be in the sky for a while.

Draco ran his hand through his tidy blonde hair as soon as Harry left the room. He could have leaned forward and kissed Potter right there. Draco sat on the edge of his bed, whole body tense. His hand absentmindedly traced the long scars on his chest. If these things are what end up bringing Potter to me, I guess they were worth it, he thought.

Draco had been falling in love with Harry for weeks now. All the animosity had melted away. Living with Harry showed a different side of him. He wasn’t obnoxious and pompous like Draco thought. He was damaged goods, and his broken matched Draco’s. For the first time in eight years, Harry Potter wasn’t unattainable.

Draco thought back to the night Harry had his nightmare. He had rubbed Harry’s shoulder, then back, trying to soothe him. Harry had even placed his head on Draco’s shoulder and fell asleep. Poor thing was too exhausted to lay back down himself. It hurt Draco to see Harry hurting that much. It hurt him even more to realize he had feelings for the boy, as he fell asleep in Harry’s bed. Draco tried to refuse them. He tried being mean, lasing out, and avoiding the room. But he felt off. Nobody else at Hogwarts wanted much to do with him. The pure blood families were disappointed in him, the half-bloods hated him, Snape wasn’t around to protect him anymore, and he’d even lost Crabbe and Goyle, as moronic as they were. Draco realized he couldn’t afford to be mean to Potter. If he pushed the Golden Trio away, he was really all alone. So, he stopped. And he waited. And then the feelings came back. The more Draco stopped pretending they weren’t there, the happier he became. He didn’t put his energy into hating Potter, he put his energy into loving him.

Draco had gone from helping Potter out once by waking him up, to falling asleep in his bed, to opening up to Harry about his feelings. Even now, Harry cared about the things that happened to Draco. He had even apologized for hurting him. Draco knew in that moment that he was in love with Harry Potter. The problem was, though, that Harry was in love with Ginny Weasley, and probably wouldn’t ever speak to Draco again after they graduated.

Harry flew in loops around the castle. He was supposed to stay near the quidditch pitch, but quite frankly, he didn’t care. Flying had always been his favorite way to clear his mind, but now that he was of legal age, drinking wasn’t half bad either. Once his feet were firmly on the ground, he marched to Ron and Hermione’s room.

“Need a drink.” Ron and Hermione blinked at his demand. Ron shrugged and got up, dusting off his trousers.

“Are you sure?” Hermione asked. “What’s wrong?” Harry briefly explained some tale of how he was having a hard time adjusting. What he couldn’t bring himself to say is that he couldn’t get Draco off his mind and it was driving him crazy. He wanted to be around him. More than he wanted to be around his girlfriend, which made him feel even worse. Hermione gave in pretty easily.

“I’m just going to grab some money,” Harry declared as he was walking through the bathroom to his suite. Draco was looking at him bustling around the room collecting his things to go out. Harry looked at his roommate, and before he realized he’d said it, he invited Draco drinking with him and his friends.

The youngest Malfoy paused, mostly in shock. “Sure,” he replied, apprehensive.

“Alright then,” Harry said, and scurried through the bathroom again. He told Ron and Hermione about their guest, and only got minimal hesitation. This term Draco hadn’t been so typically horrid to be around. He and Hermione actually got on quite well. Once Draco got over the whole muggle-born thing, that is.

The four students were down at the bar soon after, enjoying the ambiance (and their mugs of alcohol). Ron got a sipping whiskey, Hermione a rum and coke, Harry a strong gin and tonic, and Draco a vodka martini, all of which were on Harry’s dime. The gang laughed at Draco’s order, calling it quite prissy. To their surprise, Draco, in an attempt to shut them up, ordered them a round of dragon’s fire. Four shot glasses of clear, bubbling and steaming liquid were soon at their disposal.

“Drink up,” Draco said, tossing it back. His face squinched up a bit, but otherwise he seemed mild mannered, and motioned for the group to take it. Harry and Hermione looked at each other, apprehensive, but enjoying the prospect of a challenge.

“Fine,” Ron said. He smelled the drink and gagged. “That’s awful!” he said.

“It’s quality” Draco emphasized. “Not so Irish anymore, are you, Weasley?”

“Oh, you’re going to eat your words, Malfoy.” Ron said, taking the shot. A moment after, Ron was howling, jumping up and down and Draco was hysterical. Hermione and Harry were also doubled over, laughing deeply from the belly. Once he calmed down, Ron was warning Harry and Hermione how awful it was.

“It can’t be that bad,” Hermione said. Ron gave her a look. “C’mon, Harry,” Hermione said, picking up her drink and pinching her nostrils closed. Harry laughed and picked his up as well.

“Can we have a chaser?” he asked Draco.

“Of course not,” he said and folded his arms across his chest. Harry shrugged.

“3…2…” Hermione counted, looking paler as she went. “1!” The two tossed back the drink. The taste was horrendous. It was so dry and so acidic. The putrid burn coated their throats. Hermione was gagging and Harry was trying his best not to. It felt like their ears were smoking. Harry could barely hear Ron and Draco laughing maniacally at them.

“She’s going to be sick!” Ron howled. Hermione had her hand clasped tight on her mouth. “Be right back!” Ron said, still grinning cheekily. He helped hoist Hermione up and led her to the bathroom, already working on scooping her hair back.

Harry had composed himself (mostly) and was gulping down his gin. Draco was smirking at him when he looked up. “How did you do that?” Harry asked.

“Aunt Bella always had it around. Was her drink of choice. Said only tough blokes could handle it, and Merlin did she want me to be a tough bloke…”

“Did she want to torture you?!” Harry asked, before realizing he had better get more respectful of the deceased.

“Maybe!” Draco said with a laugh. “She was so mean!” Harry was unsure why Draco was speaking so poorly of his dead aunt, but all that alcohol was hitting him.

“Maybe she’s where you got it from,” Harry said cautiously. Draco looked at him with a blank face. A knot tied in Harry’s stomach. He’d gone too far. “I’m sorry,” Harry said quietly.

“Don’t be,” Draco said. “My family sucks. The only halfway decent one was my mum and she left me, so what’s the point in standing up for that lot?” Harry was taken aback. He was starting to think Draco was more drunk that Harry initially thought. He went to sip his gin and tonic, but was met with only ice and air.

“A lager,” Harry said to the bar witch, a few yards down. She nodded at him.

“One for me as well,” Draco said. He pulled on his shirt, straightening it out and fixed his blonde hair. “I’m not sloshed, Potter,” he said when he noticed Harry’s worried look. A martini and a shot, and I’m not even done with the martini yet. I just didn’t want to get up to bother the bar witch again.”

Hermione and Ron came back, just then. Hermione looked sheepish and Ron looked very smug. Harry raised his bottle at the pair and took a swig. Hermione ordered a gilly water for herself and sat down.

“Feeling alright, Granger?” Malfoy asked.

“Just peachy,” Hermione said. “Not sure how much longer we’ll stay.” And she had meant it. Ron and Hermione only stayed another half hour before Hermione demanded they go home. You can have a boy’s night and drink yourselves sick without me another night, she had yelled. So, it was just Harry and Draco, who were both giggly and drunk by the time they were left alone.

“Do you hate me?” Harry said out of the blue. His drunk brain had severely lowered his inhibitions.

“Do I look like I hate you?” Draco retorted. “We’ve been schoolmates for eight years, Potter. If I’d hated you I’d’ve transferred,” he slurred.

“But you were watching me for You Know Who. You had to be there.”

“What?!” Draco said. “No, I didn’t. I wasn’t watching you for him, I was watching you ‘cause I liked watching you.” Draco said. “Don’t be such a prat!”

Harry was stunned. In his brain, Draco had always been out to get him. “No, you hate me!” Harry insisted.

“No, Harry, I don’t.” Draco said. He had put on his best sober voice, trying to make Harry believe him. Harry was focused on how calm his old nemesis could be. “Harry, I could never have been your friend. My family hated Dumbledore, and you by proxy. Voldemort lived in my house!” he said in a much more hushed tone, “couldn’t very well be your best mate, but if he had wanted me to go after you, you would have known. Besides, I knew Snape was a spy.” He sat up again. Harry hadn’t realized that Draco had moved so close to him. The recollection of his hot breath coming out in plumes on Harry’s skin struck him.

“Were you scared?” Harry said after a moment. He pushed his empty bottle out of the way and leaned in close, subconsciously wanting to shut the gap between him and Draco.

“No,” Draco said, automatically. Harry kept looking at him, not falling for it. Draco clenched his jaw before continuing, “Yes. Everyday. Scared out of my mind. Scared my family would die, scared they’d kill me for not murdering anyone. Scared for you…” he stopped in his tracks.

“I didn’t know you cared,” Harry said.

“I didn’t know you thought I was really a monster,” Draco said back. Harry sat straight up again. Draco was looking down. “When you’re told you’re a monster, and later asked to play the part of a monster, I guess it makes sense that people think you are one.” He explained.

“Who called you a monster?” Harry asked. Draco looked up.

“Aunt Bella. We were close when I was young. I came out to her when I was little. She was the first one. She told me that was awful. Only horrid monsters were gay. I shut down then and there. Never told anyone else.”

Harry was angry, now. “She’s wrong,” he spat. “Wrong.” Draco said nothing, so Harry flagged down the bar witch and ordered another round of those putrid shots. He thought about how Draco had just said he was gay. Did this change anything? He didn’t think so, at least not in a bad way. It actually explained a lot. Meanwhile, Draco was convincing himself that he actually had just come out (again), to none other than Harry Potter. Harry Potter was now the only living person besides Draco to know he was gay. The shots were placed in front of the boys.

“Go on,” Harry said. “Show off for me.” That was the last thing he remembered.

Much of the night was foggy, for both of the boys, but their blackout faded when they were back in their suite. Harry came-to on his bathroom floor, arms folded over the toilet seat. Draco wasn’t far away from him, sitting and leaning against the counter and holding a glass of water.

“More water?” he asked Harry. His black hair flopped over his eyes as he shook his head no. The thought of anything going down his throat made him dry heave over the toilet. In an instant Draco was rubbing Harry’s back. “It’s okay,” he said.

“When did we get here?” Harry asked. Draco blinked back at him.

“An hour or two ago? Don’t you remember?”

“No,” Harry said. “I don’t remember much after that second dragon shot.”

“We drank ourselves stupid,” Draco said. “We got kicked out of the bar. I threw up on the way home, and you started throwing up right outside the castle. I got Weasley to help me get you up here because you are SO difficult, and we’ve been sat here ever since.” Harry smiled tiredly.

“Did Ron go back to bed?” Harry asked. Draco shook his head yes.

“I had to convince him I wasn’t going to throw you off the turret, first.” Harry laughed.

“You and I don’t have the best track record,” Harry said. Draco laughed bitterly. Harry liked the sound. It was like Draco wanted to laugh but didn’t want to let himself go. The reservation was endearing.

“We’re changing that.” Draco’s statement wasn’t optional. He firmly meant that he and Harry were going to stop hating each other. Harry shook his head yes too quickly, giving himself another round of the spins. He cupped his head in his hands. Draco was at his side again.

Harry looked up, peering at the blonde boy through strands of black hair. He thought about how kind Draco was. How smart. How complex. How did he ever hate him? Harry felt butterflies in his stomach.

“I want to kiss you,” Harry said. Draco’s eyes widened.

“Potter…” he said. Harry’s gaze didn’t falter. Draco’s mind was going a thousand miles an hour.

“Never mind,” Harry said. Draco felt the pit of his stomach drop and disappointment cloud his vision. “I must smell awful,” Harry laughed.

“I don’t give a damn,” Draco said. He gripped Harry’s shirt collar and brought their faces together. It was so easy, kissing Harry Potter. It was so natural. Harry pushed Draco down onto his elbows and tucked one hand in the blonde hair. He grabbed Draco tightly and kissed him fiercely. Once he backed off Draco was dumbfounded. He couldn’t speak.

“Fuck,” Harry said, more to himself than anyone. “Ginny…” he muttered, and left the room.

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