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#little did I know what i was getting myself into
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So I’m a minor (16 to be specific) and I frequently watch and read stuff with explicit sexual or 18+ content in it. I live in an extremely conservative Christian household and things like explicit fanfic are pretty much the only option I have for learning about sex that isn’t abstinence only. I do feel bad about it, especially when I see adults online say stuff like “oh i watched lots of inappropriate things as a teen that i really shouldn’t have” and it makes me feel like I’m ruining myself in a way that I won’t realize until I’m an adult? Right now I don’t see what the big deal is but i get the feeling that when i’m 24 or something I’ll wake up one day and be ashamed of this for some reason i’m not mature enough to know yet. Should I just stop and wait until I’m 18 to continue or what?
hi anon,
okay. I'm gonna hit you with something:
turning 18 does not actually change the way you feel about porn or sex or anything. the difference between being seventeen and 364 days and being 18 is nonexistent. there's not a magical switch that changes you as a person; that comes from lived experience. if you're 18 and your experience is still that porn and smut and what have you i something that you should feel bad about, it's still going to feel that way and a birthday won't change that.
look, the whole notion of "I saw [x] that I shouldn't have when I was young" is like. okay. so you saw something that was a little mature for you that you didn't quite get? awesome. did you die? no. most people's hangups about sexuality don't come from seeing a rogue titty when they were a teenager, they come from the culture that person was raised in that made seeing a rogue titty feel like something to be ashamed of instead of a completely natural part of life.
story time! when I teach my 4th-6th grade OWL classes (Our Whole Lives, great human development program) I always start by holding a meeting with the kids' parents. I've been doing this for seven years, and every time without fail some of the parents will recall seeing porn for the first time as a kid. these guys were kids when printed porn magazines were still a thing, so they were discovering them in all kinds of places - the bedrooms of their parents or their friends' parents, at bus stops, in the woods, once even stowed in some farm equipment. and they remember it feeling illicit and exciting, sure, and possibly making them confused or even horny for the first time in their young lives, but like... that's it. none of these people are irreparably damaged by seeing porn. in fact, they've grown up to be the kind of people who go out of their way to make sure their young kids are enrolled in a queer-friendly, body-positive, diversity-embracing sex ed class to counter stereotypes and misinformation they might receive elsewhere.
looking at things that arouse you is morally neutral. it can be a great way to help you learn about what turns you on, and even if it's not the best source of factual, realistic depictions of sex, it can still help you discover things - hell, I only figured out what the clitoris was by reading Young Justice fanfic (shout out Snaibsel).
you can't ruin yourself, at any age, with the media you like to consume. what makes you uncomfortable and anxious is the attitude you've been taught to have about that media, which is something that has to be actively unlearned, because it's certainly not going to just disappear on its own when you become a legal adult.
tl;dr obviously no one is making you watch porn and you shouldn't if it makes you uncomfortable, but if you drop it right now and come back when you're 18 don't expect to feel any different if you haven't done any more unpacking re: the conservative Christianity of it all.
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Young Gf and Older bf
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Simon Ghost Riley Headcanons
SFW & NSFW
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SFW
Older bf! Simon who didn’t know how he felt about having a younger girlfriend
Older bf! Simon who was getting called “old man” by his girlfriend
Older bf! Simon who learned the hard way that some girls have expensive taste
Older bf! Simon who doesn’t talk much about his girlfriend to his mates, he feels like they’ll get on his ass about dating a young girl
Older bf! Simon who did most of the chores around the house
Older bf! Simon who stopped caring what he wore in front of people because his girlfriend is his little hype-man
“Does this work?” Simon asks coming into his shared bedroom with his girlfriend, she rolls on her side to look at him.
“They don’t match your shoes, Si.”
“What?” He looks down. “I thought they did.”
“Here, go try this on and come back at out.”
Older bf! Simon who told his girlfriend about his time in the military
Older bf! Simon who forget how young his girlfriend is, so when he makes jokes or says a movie reference she doesn’t know what he is talking about
Older bf! Simon who was honestly scared to meet his girlfriend’s family. She told them about Simon being older but not how old he was
“And how old are you, Simon?” Her dad asked leaning forward.
“I’m…40”
“40!!”
“Y/N?!”
“What?! He treats me good, he respects me, guys my age want that trad wife, Simon doesn’t, I can do or say what I want around him and feel good about myself.”
Older bf! Simon who knows everything about you. How you like your coffee, what time you’re suppose to be up for work, and he even knows when you’re about to start your period, you know when he shows up at home with bags full of pads and tampons and her favorite foods and drinks
Older bf! Simon who starts watching shows with you but complains about them but deep down he actually likes to watch them with his girlfriend
NSFW
Older bf! Simon who woke up to you in t-shirts and no shorts or pants, he likes seeing you in a t shirt and panties
Older bf! Simon who has woken up to morning wood before and needed help to get rid of it
“Love,” he kisses the shell of her ear. “Love…wake up,” he coos.
“Hmm~ Simon, not now please.”
“I know, love, you don’t have to do anything,” Simon lines himself up at her entrance and pushes himself into her
Older bf! Simon who like after argument sex
“Fuck you!”
“Oh yeah? Fuck me?” Simon carries a smirk on his face.
“Back up, Simon,” Y/n says putting her hand up on his chest to keep distance.
“Fuck me right? Fuck me?”
“Wait, wait,” your legs didn’t work for a few weeks
Older bf! Simon who tries different things with you, like BDSM you both hated it because it’ll be painful for you and Simon didn’t like you hurt
DDLG, he knows the age gap between you two but he hates the word ‘daddy’ makes him cringe
Mask kink, you both loved it, giving the illusion you were being fucked by someone else and he liked feelings your hands in his face
Voice kink, you liked it because of his deep voice already, he was on the fence, not saying your voice is annoying or anything he just didn’t get it
Knife play, you got scared when he accidentally dropped the knife and it was very close to your hand, it was the same thing with gun play you were afraid something wrong might happen
He tried to be a sub but you could barely take it seriously
Older bf! Simon who has fucked you when you were doing your work, you worked in a private office and all he had to do was shut and lock the door and bend you over your own desk
Older bf! Simon who is handsy when he’s horny
“Simon what do you want?”
“I want nothing,” he says as one of his hands were on your waste and the other snacks up to your breasts giving you a gentle squeeze and you gave him a soft moan.
“Just do it already, Simon,” she moans
Older bf! Simon who has kept a pair of your panties in his pockets and has forgotten about them before, he remembers when he accidentally sticks his hand into his pocket and feels the lace
Older bf! Simon who bought a motorcycle and takes you with him as his backpack, he found a abandoned place were no one comes to and you two had a good fuck on his bike
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fallingformatt · 1 day
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BIRTHDAY SEX M.S.
best friend Matt x fem!reader
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summary: Matt can’t control himself seeing you in your black, little dress you’re wearing for your birthday, so he gifts himself to you.
warnings: THIS IS PURE FILTH!!! Fingering (f receiving) oral (m receiving) unprotected sex
word count: 3.4k
a/n: This one’s long, but I’ve had this scenario in my head for so long, I promise you won’t regret reading this. not proofread.
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It was my 20th birthday today, I didn’t want to do much for my birthday as I didn’t want to deal with the planning of everything. I decided that I was going to buy myself a cake and just celebrate by myself.
It’s almost 6 pm and it’s starting to get dark outside, I decided to blow out my birthday candles so I quickly got ready to be pretty for myself, I decided to leave on my pink silk robe after taking a shower and decided not to change into anything special. I put on some makeup and put rollers in my hair. A true housewife birthday. I sat down on the floor at my living room coffee table ready to light up the candles when I heard a knock at my door. Confused I get up to see who it is, I open the door and it’s Matt.
“Hey birthday girl! Happy birthday!” He says happily with a huge smile on his face as he gives me a tight hug.
“Matt, what are you doing here?” I ask confused by his unexpected arrival.
I scan him head to toe getting even more confused. He’s wearing oversized jeans that are only held on by his belt and a black t-shirt “Why aren’t you in sweatpants? Are you going somewhere?” I ask confused.
“No silly WE are going somewhere. Did you really think I was going to forget your birthday? That’s what best friends are for. C'mon get dressed, everyone is already there” Matt said keeping the big smile on his face. My confusion wasn’t cleared up not even a bit, why was he here, where are we going, and why is everyone already there?
Without saying anything he enters my apartment and walks to the living room plopping into my white, big couch. “Aw how sweet, you were gonna blow out your birthday candles, the cake can wait, get dressed,” he said as he pulled out his phone from the pocket of his oversized jeans. Still confused I walk past him and into my room to get dressed leaving a small part of my door open so I can hear him.
“You still haven’t told me where we’re going” I shout from my room as I strip down from my pink robe walking over to my dresser to find a bra and panties. I pull out a matching black set. A sheer black mesh part for the bra with a small pink bow in the middle of the bra and the same cute little bow on the back of the thong.
“You’ll find out when we get there, get dressed quickly,” he says.
“Well I don’t know what to wear if I don’t know where we’re going” I angrily said and looked at the door as I put on my lingerie and was now headed to my closet.
Suddenly I hear fast footsteps coming towards my room and the next second Matt is in my room looking at me only in my lingerie. My eyes widen as he looks at me, staring me down and a smirk creeps on his lips.
“Well you know what lingerie to wear I think you’ll figure out what to wear,” he says teasingly.
I grab a pillow from my bed and throw it at him “Get out Matt” I shout.
He puts up his hands on either side of his chest making a ‘I didn’t do anything wrong’ face before leaving my room and once again sitting down on the white couch.
“Wear that little black dress you got, the one that shows off your ass every time you take a step” he shouts in a low voice from the living room.
My eyes widen as I hear the words coming from the living room “Matthew are you constantly looking at my ass?!” I shout angrily while sifting through my closet to find something to wear.
“You can’t blame me, you do look hot in that little black dress,” he answers.
'That's it, you know what Matt? I will wear that dress, just to tease you and get revenge for walking in on me changing' I thought to myself.
I quickly searched through my closet and my eyes lit up when I saw the dress Matt was talking about. It really was a small black dress, which I had worn maybe like 3 times total. The dress bearly covered my ass and the top of the dress was finished with a small lace trim. I quickly put on the dress and walked to the mirror which is located above my dresser. While looking at the mirror I take out the rollers from my hair giving me the perfect blowout look. I put in my favorite gold earrings, and touch up my lips with some lip liner and lip gloss, I put on my favorite kitten heels and finally spray on some perfume, which made me and the room smell like coffee and vanilla. I took a last look in the mirror and I was feeling myself, 'I look so good, good thing I did my makeup and put my hair in rollers' I thought to myself.
I walk out of my room and see Matt's head turning to look at me, his cheerful, innocent gaze turning dark as a lustful smile creeps on his face as he stares me down leaving his gaze on my legs and my ass.
"You look so good princess," he says as he gets up from the couch walking closer to me. "You ready to go beautiful?" he asks.
"Yeah let's go” I say as I walk past him heading for the door as I grab my little black channel bag that the triplets got me as a gift for my last birthday. It goes perfectly with my outfit.
Matt follows me outside and I lock the door behind me and we head to his car. We both get in and Matt pulls out of the parking lot. He starts driving and puts on some music as he drives. The inside of the car is dark and the only light is coming from the street lights but I still can see Matt if I look at him.
Im looking outside the window admiring the view as we pull up to a fancy restaurant. “We’re here,” Matt says and I turn to look at him and see him staring at my thighs while licking his lips. I turn my head to look back outside the window as I smirk to myself that my plan is working. I open the car door to get to out and purposely pop out my butt while getting out. Matt also gets out the car and locks it.
We walk to the entrance of the restaurant and Matt holds the door open for me. As I walk past him I nod my head as a ‘thank you’. While walking in further I feel Matt’s hand on my lower back guiding me to where we should go. We get to this big round table in the middle of the restaurant and everyone is sitting around the fancy set up table. I smile as I look at everyone and wave.
“I brought the birthday girl” Matt says cheerfully and pulls me closer to his side. Everyone wishes me a happy birthday and we sit down at the table and the only free seats were next to each other.
We all enjoy each other’s company and the delicious food while talking with each other. Through out the whole dinner I was ignoring Matt and not paying any attention to him, talking with everyone but him.
“Did you like the surprise?” Chris asks while sitting across the table from me. I continue the conversation, when suddenly I feel a cold hand creeping its way on my thigh under the table. My eyes widen and my head instantly shoots to look at Matt. He slowly turns to look at me and has a smirk plastered across his face his blue eyes growing dark with dirty intentions. I try to brush his hand off of my thigh but he wraps his hand tighter around my thigh as his cold rings dig in to my skin. I give up and try not to draw any attention to whats going on.
As the evening continues, I continue to ignore him, ‘if he wants to leave his hand on my thigh he can, but he’s not getting any of my attention’ I think to myself.
While I’m talking with Madi, Matt notices that I don’t care about his hand on my thigh. Mid sentence, I feel his hand sliding up closer to my core and my breath hitches. “Are you okay?” Madi asks with concerned expression. “Yeah I’m fine, where were we?” I respond still continuing to ignore Matt and not giving into his touch.
Suddenly I feel Matt’s hand moving even further, his fingers reaching and tracing my clothed clit. I squeeze my thighs together and let out a heavy breath, feeling myself getting wet. “Are you really okay?” Nick now asks me. I know this won’t end and I don’t want anyone to catch us so I had to lie, I try to gather myself so I can answer Nick. “I’m not sure, I think I need to lay down” I answer. “Oh, that’s not good,” Nick says, making a sad expression before continuing, “Matt could you take her home, and see if she’s alr-“ before Nick even got to finish his sentence Matt removes his hand from my thigh completely before he quickly gets up and nods to Nick. I also get up, “thank you everyone, this was such a great surprise, I’m so sorry it has to end this way” I say as I push the chair I was sitting in to the table. “It’s okay, get well soon” Madi said, I said bye to everyone and we left.
I rushed out of the restaurant heading to the car. Matt unlocked the car and I quickly got in. Matt also gets in and starts the car. “What was that” I say with an angry tone, “We could’ve been caught” I continue and look outside the window as the car starts to move. “Looks like the birthday girl knows how to get away with a lie. I know what you were doing, I love that little black dress” Matt says, his voice filled with lust. “We can’t be doing this, this is a bad idea, you’re my best friend, what if everyone finds out?” I answer with a question, still looking outside of the window. “It doesn’t matter, you’re the birthday girl” Matt answers.
The car was silent, I continued to stare outside the window when the thought of Matt’s hand on my thigh crosses my mind. I feel myself getting wet again and I bite my bottom lip as I look in the window seeing Matts reflection, I see his smirk as he continues to drive focusing on the road. As I was about to turn my head, I feel his cold hand on my thigh once again. I let out a small moan as I sink deeper into the seat. His hand moving closer and closer until reaching my heat, his thumb started rubbing circles on my clit. I let out a moan as I turn my head to look at him. Matt however does not take his eyes off the road, smirk still stuck on his face. I’ve never seen Matt like this, but thats why it’s turning me on even more, I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but it feels so good.
He moves my thong to the side with his two fingers in one quick motion then proceeds to move his fingers up and down my heat before pushing two fingers in to me, I let out a loud moan throwing back my head, my hand reaching for the seatbelt so that I have something to hold on to. He moves his fingers in and out of me curling them giving me unimaginable pleasure. He continues to pump his fingers in to me, slowly increasing the speed. “Ohh fuck Matt, it feels so good” I moan out as I switch out the seatbelt for his arm to hold on.
I start to move my hips back and forth as I hold on to him. My breathing gets uneasy as I feel my orgasm coming. “Please Matt, don’t stop, your fingers feel so good” I moan. Matt still ignoring me and keeping his eyes on the road. “Matt I’m so close” I moan out and the next moment he pulls his fingers out of me. I let out a frustrated moan from the loss of contact. He’s still not looking at me, he’s ignoring me. “Please Matt, I need you” I say with a frustrated tone. No answer. “Please, I need you, I’m so close” I beg as I grind my hips against the leather car seat trying to release the pressure built up in my stomach. Silence fills the car as we stop at a red light. “I’m sorry for ignoring you, I really nee-“ I almost cry out looking at him, but before I even get to finish Matt turns his head, his eyes staring right in to mine and his fingers sharply enter me once more. I moan out but I don’t take my eyes off of his. He curls his fingers in me and his speed quickens. I quickly feel my climax coming and I put my hand on his pushing his fingers deeper. Two more thrusts and I feel the tension in my stomach releasing. I let a loud almost scream like moan still looking in his eyes, now both of my hands holding on to his arm as I ride out my high. I pant heavily and Matt once again turns his head to look at the road as the red light turns green.
I try to calm down my breathing as we pull into my apartment’s parking lot. I quickly get out, Matt following quickly after. I grab his hand and lead him to my front door as fast as I can. I unlock my front door and yank him in. He closes the door and with one swift motion he turns me around and presses my back against the door smashing his lips on to mine. He licks my lips asking for entrance and then his tongue explores my mouth. His hands running over my body moving from my waist to my ass to the bottom hem of my dress. He breaks the kiss and looks down at my dress “Oh god how I love that little, black dress,” Matt says in a dark but quiet tone.
His lips pushing onto mine again, my hands creep around, one stopping to rest on his chest as the other moves to the nape of his head. His hands travel to my ass once again, giving me a quick slap before grabbing and pulling on it signaling me to jump. I do just that and his hands move to hold my ass as I wrap my legs around his waist.
Continuing the kiss, Matt turns around and starts walking to the living room. He lays me down on the couch breaking the kiss. He looks to his side and a smirk creeps up on him as he stands up and quickly shuffles through his pockets pulling out a lighter. He lights the candles on the cake and I get off the couch and kneel so that I’m able to blow out the candles. “Make a wish, birthday girl,” Matts says his voice dark with a hint of pure filth. I close my eyes as I make a wish. I blow out the candles and open my eyes looking up at Matt. I see his smirk as he looks down at me licking his lips.
He reaches for the cake and brushes his thumb over the icing. He moves his thumb and pushes it against my lips. “Open,” Matt says firmly and I do as he says. He pushes his thumb in my mouth and I suck the icing off of it. “Mmmm, tastes so sweet,” I say as I look up at him innocently, teasing him. I brush my hand over his crotch, gently rubbing his dick. He rolls his eyes as he throws back his head, moan escaping his lips.
I quickly unbuckle his belt, causing his pants to fall to the floor. I massage his cock through his boxers and he winces. “Don’t tease me,” he says almost whispering. I don’t think twice as I hook my fingers on his Calvin Klein boxers waistband pulling them down. His cock slips out and smacks his stomach before falling. I lick my lips before grabbing his cock licking the tip. I lick from his tip to the base of his cock before moving my head back opening my mouth and wrapping my lips around his hard dick. I bobbed my head on his cock and pumped with my hand the part that I couldn’t reach.
I looked up at him through my eyelashes only to find him staring down at me his mouth slightly opened as he breathes out heavily. I continue to suck his dick and his hands move to my head, gathering my hair making a ponytail. While staring in his eyes I quicken my pace and Matt lets out a load moan letting his head fall back. “Oh you feel so good around my cock baby” he moans. His voice making my mouth water and I start to move even faster, loud slurps can be heard as I suck him off. “Don’t stop, I’m close,” he grunts out. He pushes my head further down his cock thrusting it in my mouth. Tears start to roll off my cheeks and my mascara with them. I look up at him and he lets a moan fall from his lips. I move my head a few more times before gagging as there’s no more air. He inhales sharply as he stops thrusting releasing his seed in my mouth and then moans. I move my mouth off of his dick, a string of saliva connected from his tip to my lips, I look up at him as I swallow his cum and he releases my hair.
He grabs my hand as he helps me get up before pushing me down on my white couch. He crawls over me and leaves a kiss on my neck before his hand moves to the cake and he breaks a small peace off placing it into his mouth. He pushes lips on mine and his tongue immediately entering my mouth. The taste of his tongue mixed with the sweet cake is driving me insane. I feel the wetness dripping down from my pussy and I wrap my hands around his neck pulling him deeper into the kiss before breaking it. “Matt, I need you in me,” I say.
Matt pulls up my dress enough to give himself access to my dripping hole. “I like your panties,” Matt says winking at me before quickly sliding them down my legs. “You’re so wet for me,” he growls and takes his cock in his hand pumping it a few times, then he starts rubbing it up and down my folds to collect my wetness before pushing his length in to me. “Oh my god,” I gasp as I grab on to his tattooed bicep. He starts thrusting into me with slow but hard thrusts. His head falls in the nape of my neck as he leaves kisses and occasionally sucking and biting on my skin. “You’re so tight, oh my god,” Matt moans as he quickens his thrusts. I feel my orgasm coming again.
“Matt don’t stop, I’m about to cum,” I whine as my walls close around his pulsating cock. Matt thrusts deep and fast, his tip kissing my g-spot. My hips shoot up, orgasm taking over me, my pleasure sending shivers down my spine. I start to shake as he continues to thrust in me deeper than ever before getting stiff. “Ohhh fuckkkk,” he lets out growl like moan, leaning his forehead against my collar bone as he bites my shoulder before planting his cum inside me as my legs shake as I’m coming down from my high.
He plops next to me trying to catch his breath. “That’s my birthday girl,” Matt says as he looks at me. “Did your birthday wish come true?” He asks and a smirk creeps up on his face. I grab a piece of the cake and shove it in his mouth, “shut up.” I say laughing.
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courtingchaos · 2 days
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Crosstalk
Undesired signal leakage from one sound channel or track to another.
Playlist (if you wanna play along at home.)
Eddie Munson x Fem Reader
Prompt: Eddie - I really like the idea of making him a naughty tape full of audio recordings of you playing with yourself for when he's out of town and you can't be together for a few days. But it's a surprise so you pass it off as a regular old mixtape and he doesn't suspect a thing until the first two songs end and then the real stuff starts.
Word count: 2k
Warnings: Masturbation, reader tattoo mention
A/N: I have a list in my notes of prompts and I don’t remember what ask this one came from originally so apologies for that.
18+ NSFW No Minors
Eddie digs through the bag he hastily packed that morning while the phone sits tucked between his cheek and his shoulder. “What kind of surprise is it? When did you even get it in here? Is it dirty?” He gasps into the receiver. He can feel you swatting his arm even from four hours away.
“It’s nothing wild, it’s just-“
His fingers close around something almost buried to the bottom and he fishes it out, slick plastic cassette case gleaming in the low motel light. “Did you make me a mixtape?”
“I told you it wasn’t anything wild.”
He knows you’re twirling your finger through the phone cord, your chin probably tucked into your collar in mild embarrassment.
“I love it.”
“Don’t uh, don’t go playing it for the guys though.”
“Oh so it is dirty.”
“No, I just don’t want them making fun of me for putting Linda Ronstadt on there three times.”
“Three? What are you, breaking up with me via music?” Eddie teases you while he reads the insert you lovingly wrote on, little hearts in the corners beside the 10 track listing.
“No! She’s just got a way with the language of love!” You whine into the phone and Eddie laughs.
“Okay, okay. I’ll keep it all to myself. Gives me something to listen to while I fall asleep.” Behind him the shower cuts off and he knows Gareth will be out to finish his tangent on getting bullied out of his terrible pizza toppings. “You gonna be okay if I let you go?”
“I won’t cry myself to sleep if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Oh shut up, I know you walk that widows peak night and day awaiting my return from…Detroit.”
“I don’t waste my time like that. I know you’re up to your armpits in groupies.”
Eddie looks around the old motel room and scoffs. “If you think four nerds are pulling groupies in the kind of room we have, I have a river to sell you.”
After saying goodnight five times and you finally hanging up on him being sappy he flings himself into the bathroom after Gareth and before Jeff and Frank get back with food. Four straight hours in a car with three other men makes him want to crawl out of skin so he watches the steam roll out from the behind the shower curtain with anticipation. Almost scalding water leaves red marks over his shoulders and down his chest, enough to make him feel clean again while he rinses his hair. He can hear muffled voices from the other side of the thin bathroom door and knows he’s been relegated to the small couch in their room.
“You know, it’d be nice to get the bed once in a while.” He says when he exits the bathroom and snatches two slices from the open box on the single king bed.
“If you didn’t try to spoon all of us we would.”
“Oh what, you bothered by a little cuddling?”
Gareth glares at Eddie hard and Jeff cracks up at the deep breath he takes in. “If it was just cuddling I wouldn’t think anything of it, but you turn into the world’s only land octopus! I’ve never been so sweaty in my life! I don’t know how your girl puts up with it, you’re a fucking radiator!”
“This is why I always take the cot.” Frank singsongs from said cot while watching the local news.
The bickering continues as Eddie makes his temporary bed on the too hard, too small couch and finally ends when Jeff just shuts off the lights. “I need everyone to shut the fuck up for the next five hours okay?”
Eddie only hums and fishes around for his headphones, cassette player tucked up under the blanket with him. With the tv flashing across the walls Eddie starts to drift off to the slow beat of “Blue Bayou”, a soft chuckle for your choice of intro, and by the end of it he’s almost out when he hears your voice.
“Okay, so uhm, this is actually your final warning to stop playing this for everyone because you never listen to me so I’m trying to save us both some face you ratfink.”
His eyes snap open in the dark and he pulls the player out from under the covers like it’ll tell him what’s going on.
“I’m pretty sure you’ll listen to me this time though if I put a warning on your mixtape.”
He slaps around beside him on the floor for the case and squints at it in the flashing tv lights to see if you wrote something he missed.
“Anyways though, I do miss you and I hope your show goes well. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there but there’s never much room in those motels, huh?”
He can tell you moved around while recording, the bumping of the tape deck clacking in his ears. He’s glad it’s dark so none of the guys give him shit for the blush he knows is dusting his cheeks.
“Hell, one day soon you’ll get your own room and then I can come out and I don’t have to do sappy shit like this.”
The recording cuts and jumps to Carly Simon’s “You Belong to Me” and Eddie can’t help but laugh and feel hollow at the same time. As small as this couch is it would be nice to feel your weight on top of him, your head smushed in next to his sharing headphones that might snap from overextension. The song cuts off a few notes early to shuffling sounds and then your strained voice.
“This is really hard to do one handed, I won’t lie, but I wasn’t just gonna whisper sweet nothings to you.”
One handed? He can barely make out your breathing but he can hear the gasp alongside your light laughter.
“I don’t know if you know this, and if you don’t I’m sure I’m just inflating your ego but-“
The long sigh that follows finally jogs his tired brain and keys him into what’s happening. He whips his head to the side to see the sleeping forms of the other three before he sits up and pays closer attention.
“You have amazing hands Eddie, and it isn’t just-ohhh-it isn’t just the guitar playing you know? You know just where that spot is. I think your fingers are longer, I don’t know.”
Suddenly Bonnie Raitt is in his ear and he’s fumbling for the buttons on the side of the player to fast forward because while he appreciates your mixtape skills, now is not the fucking time. You would make him wait through three more songs before he accidentally runs into the middle of your recording, a thin moan of his name that makes him stand and head for the bathroom.
“-and I just miss you a lot and you’ve only been gone f-for what, a day by the time you get this?”
His lighter clicks in the dark while juggles the tape player and his pack of cigarettes.
“You actually just left my place. We had dinner and I told you I wouldn’t fuck you because it’s like good luck or some shit. I heard boxers do it like that.”
You have a remarkable way of running your mouth while otherwise occupied, thoughts that zip between moans and even he has a hard time keeping up. In the bathroom he cracks the small window so he doesn’t set the smoke detector off and then locks the door behind him before turning the shower on full blast. When he finally sits on the edge of the tub he expects a little more from you before Bill Withers starts singing about missing sunshine and he has to fast forward again.
“You’d think I’d be a little embarrassed to do this but actually it’s-fuck-it’s kind of easier to rec-“
Eddie sucks on his cigarette until the cherry burns bright red and his lungs start screaming, the cut off voice in his ears lending to quiet sounds of your hand working fast to make your breath jump in your chest. He thinks about you probably laying on the floor of your tiny studio, right at the foot of your bed with that big boombox next to your head set to record. That pillow that’s too big for your tiny couch, the one that got relegated to a ‘floor pillow’, stuffed behind your head while your toes catch on the edge of your green rug as you try to brace yourself.
Eddie sits on the edge of the tub and breathes in his own exhaled smoke and chews on his lip till it goes almost numb. Sits there and listens to your gasps and whimpers, the far off wet slick of your fingers moving faster.
“You’d think…I was making you…a tape to send you off to war.” Your laugh is light, forced air before it chokes off on his name and he slides down to the cold tile floor. Cigarette tossed into the tub behind his head, he’ll fish the butt out of the drain when he’s done listening to your voice.
“Barely a long weekend and-and-ah shit!”
You’ve tranced him, hardly notices the dig of the tile against his bare skin, doesn’t give a shit that this floor is dirtier than he can imagine probably. He lets his vision fuzz with the steam filling the small bathroom so he can focus on your voice and try to picture you laid out in front of him. It’s just another lazy afternoon, weed haze ringing your apartment while he watches you from across the room.
“I miss you when you’re gone. It’s only four days but I miss you Eddie.”
Sitting on that tiny couch and mesmerized by the dance of your fingers over your own skin. Nails press lightly into lines of ink to trail up your thigh and over your hip, to press into the softness of your belly. You’d hold his gaze the whole time like a dare while your other hand kneaded at your chest. When those adventuring fingers finally dip between your thighs and you sigh so light, Eddie follows suit.
Through the headphones he can hear you closer now like your lips were pressed to his ear. Heavy pants and no more words, just breathing that stutters and climbs in pitch. He wastes no romance on himself, not here in this cramped bathroom, not when he can almost feel your breath hot and damp against his neck. With every hitch of your voice he speeds his hand up, didn’t even bother pulling his shorts down all the way. In his imagination you give him a chastising smile for it before your reddened eyes roll back into your skull on a moan and he uses both hands now, just like you would.
The next song started and ended maybe but his hair clings to him in the steam and his sweat. There’s a chord change he thinks that proceeds his stomach clenching and his thighs aching before it all cuts off with your loud moan. You must have slapped at the player too late, not catching all of your agonies for him. Not everything, sure, but the important part is there. Your voice chanting low as your pleasure ebbs, his name over and over until you giggle and gasp.
Soft hands, phantom and damp with arousal and sweat cup his face when he cums, the heel of his palm shoved into his mouth to stifle the high noises trying to escape his throat. The track clicks again back to music and it isn’t until Eddie hears Peter Frampton that he starts to crash back into reality.
“If I know you like I think I do, I’m sure you’re rolling your eyes at me.” You giggle again at the end of the cassette, satiated and melancholy. “I just wanted you to have a little something, though I am sorry I buried it all in some of the best love songs ever written.”
You leave him with an I love you and another I miss you and a little bit of a mess to clean up. In twenty minutes though, when he’s back on the couch having evaded being caught and sucking down another smoke, he falls asleep and dreams about that hazy afternoon he intends to give you when he gets home.
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diordeer · 3 days
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౨ৎ GUILTY PLEASURE
“Wild thoughts that make me melt, a good hit below the belt, sometimes I scare myself but I can't help what I can't help” - chappell roan (smau)
contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader / dior goodjohn x fem!reader (fc: karina from aespa) shes not with either of them or like a ship technically its just a little friend bickering, choose she gets with whoever u like
author’s note: does anyone have advice to confront a friend who “borrows” all your money and never pays you back as a non confrontational person because this hoe is genuinely around £50 in debt to me if not more and WONT PAY ME BACK
requested by: anoonnn
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Liked by iamcharliebushnell, dior.n.goodjohn and others
yn.ln days on set 🤭
tagged aryansimhadri, walker.scobell, dior.n.goodjohn, leahsavajeffries
user1 shes so prettybstfu
user2 the things i would do to be in this friend group! RAHH
↳ user6 no like fr
iamcharliebushnell wheres my feature at 😔
↳ dior.n.goodjohn LOOSSAA
↳ user3 not fighting the “wheres my hug at” allegations
user4 silena is my spirit animal 🦅
↳ user5 yn was BORN to play her!!
↳ yn.ln true story, i was born from sea foam
user6 your so real for giving into luke, true representation of this fandom
↳ yn.ln i work to serve 🫡
dior.n.goodjohn miss photogenic 📸
↳ yn.ln awwhh shucks 🤭
leahsavajeffries bc why did we eat that first pic
↳ walker.scobell we looks so cool 😎
↳ leahsavajeffries ok so… now uve ruined it
↳ user6 HELP?
user7 aryan in the last pic 😖
↳ yn.ln hes such a cutie patootie
↳ aryansimhadri 🧍
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Liked by dior.n.goodjohn, aryansimhadri and others
yn.ln hanging out with the weirdo
tagged iamcharliebushnell
user1 okay aesthetic feet!
dior.n.goodjohn WHERES MY DAY OUT
↳ yn.ln PLSSS GIVE ME A DATE ILL BE THERE
user2 she beautiful, shes the moment, shes everything, and hes there!
[liked by dior.n.goodjohn]
↳ user3 the hate dior and charlie have over each over for yn is EVERYTHING
↳ iamcharliebushnell i feel targeted…
↳ dior.n.goodjohn u should
↳ yn.ln 🫢🫢
user4 are they dating?
↳ user5 i think they are just rly close friends, idk, no one knows, i dont think they know
user6 the cherry blossoms are very pretty 🌸🌸
↳ yn.ln they were melted into the ground 😢
↳ user6 MELTED?
↳ yn.ln sorry my bad ‘soaked’ 🙄
dior.n.goodjohn you are GLOWWINNGGG
↳ yn.ln i love u girl 😘😘
↳ dior.n.goodjohn u hear that charlie?
↳ dior.n.goodjohn the no reply tells me all i want to know!
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liked by iamcharliebushnell, leahsavajeffries and others
dior.n.goodjohn girls night 😍🥰
tagged yn.ln
user1 DUOLINGO CAKE
↳ yn.ln DUOLINGO CAKE
iamcharliebushnell duolingo cake or five star pasta?
↳ dior.n.goodjohn … we both know the answer to this
user2 whats the recipe for the cake?
↳ yn.ln WHY would u want a recipe for such a monstrosity
↳ dior.n.goodjohn that ‘monstrosity’ is a masterpeice!! (Seriously girl the recipe is the most basic cake it didnt even taste good)
↳ yn.ln i cant believe u would insult my baking skills…
↳ iamcharliebushnell i would never insult ur baking
↳ dior.n.goodjohn ok u little hoe
↳ user2 all i wanted was a recipe…
user3 whats your duolingo streak!!
↳ dior.n.goodjohn 0… yns the fanatic 😔
↳ yn.ln FIVE HUNDRED AND SEVEN 😍😍
iamcharliebushnell i love ur hairband!! 🥰
↳ yn.ln thankss 🤭
↳ dior.n.goodjohn EW GET OUT OF MY COMMENTS BRO 🤢🤢
taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r @highfidelities @urmomsgirlfriend1 @vamplyle @xyzstar @alexandria-millie
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pupkashi · 1 day
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a/n: i just wanted to write abt yuta being scary and sexy so here is my word vomit
masterlist
thinking abt bf!yuta who looks and acts so pathetic around u but is so protective and intimidating
yuta is so helplessly in love and devoted to you, even a blind man can feel the love he has for you a mile away. yuta is the first to laugh at your jokes, the first to tell you happy birthday and congratulate you on everything. he’ll give you anything you want the minute you ask for it, no matter what it is.
yuta doesn’t get into arguments with you, he’ll apologize for whatever he did wrong and prove to you he’ll never make the same mistake again. he’ll shower you in gifts and acts of service and spend as much quality time with you as you want.
there isn’t a thing he wouldn’t do for you.
yuta okkotsu isn’t the beefiest man on the planet, nor is he the tallest. but he is the most intimidating when he wants to be. and whenever anyone is a little too friendly with you, he definitely wants to be.
it’s only been two minutes since he left to the use restroom and there there some douchebag was, trying to flirt with you. it makes his blood boil, seeing someone who isn’t him be that close to you, trying to buy you a drink as you politely decline him.
it takes only a moment for yuta to walk up to you, snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you close to him.
“who’s this, angel face?” he asks you, his voice is soft and sweet as he speaks to you, but his eyes are sharp and venomous as he stares at the other man.
“he just was talking to me about some sport, he’s nobody yuu” you smile, trying your best to contain the situation while you could.
“yeah i was just leavin, don’t wanna waste my time on something used” the man snorts, turning around before his body is jolted backwards as yuta grabs his wrist.
the man immediately cried out in pain, knees buckling as yuta’s grip only tightened. “how ‘bout you quit crying and apologize,” yuta taunts, jaw clenched as his grip grew stronger.
“baby please i don’t want a scene” you plead, squeezing his arm and forcing him to look at you. yuta always thought your eyes were so alluring. something about them brought him a sense of serenity he never thought was possible.
“okay” he mumbles, letting go of the man’s wrist, rolling his eyes as the man cradled his now broken wrist, crying out about his pain and running the opposite direction.
the two of you don’t stick around, walking out into the hot summer breeze before you stop, hands on your hips as you stare at your lover.
“yuta” your tone is more than enough to stop him dead in his tracks, slowly turning on his heel with a sheepish smile on his face.
if you didn’t know your lover, you never would’ve guessed that the man who’s a stuttering and blushing mess in front of you broke a man’s write for flirting with you.
his shoulders are slouched a bit, strands of black hair framing his face perfectly as he tried his best to defend himself.
“I’m sorry darling” he begins, already giving you the puppy eyes you fall for, “i couldn’t just stand by and let some scumbag try to talk you up without-” you cut him off by grabbing his hand and pulling him to sit with you on a nearby bench.
“pretty boy, you know I’m only yours right?” the words make yutas fave flush a deep red, nodding softly as he looks at the ground. “you don’t have to fight or threaten every person who gets too close to me, i can handle myself” you explain.
“you shouldn’t have to” yuta mumbles, looking at you with a small pout. “i wanna be the one to protect you,” he sighs, “i wanna let the world know that they shouldn’t even think about trying anything with you.”
there’s a beat of silence and yuta is about to apologize again before you’re crashing your lips onto his. it’s a shock to him, but he immediately kisses you back, smiling when you bite his bottom lip softly.
“cmon let’s go home,” you smile, laughing when yuta practically jumps up, back to his sunshine smile as he intertwines his fingers with yours.
“you wanna make some cookies and watch a movie?” he asks, swinging your held hands as you two walks together down the empty street.
“you read my mind, pretty” you grin, leaning into him as the two of you walked, loving how he instinctively put his arm over your shoulder and kissed the top of your head.
there’s not a care in the world for you. you’d never have to look over your shoulder or carry a weapon with you. as long as yuta was by your side the only thing you’d have to worry about is stopping him from killing anyone who hurt you, intentionally or not.
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hazelfoureyes · 2 days
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A Doe in Fall (Part 8)
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⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall
A burlesquer with a penchant for conning men, you find your latest game interrupted when your next mark saves you from an aggressive fan— by killing him. The chance encounter left you curious, still half convinced you could complete your normal chase. Unbeknownst to you, you were the one being tracked.
Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 📍
Part 8 - Trust
Detective Brady is sharper than you initially thought, though Alastor is (seemingly) unfazed by the threat. While you both explore the idea of ‘home’ a familiar face shows up at your apartment.
「Warnings/Tags: Human Alastor x Fem Burlesquer reader, Detective Brady exists a lot and maybe too much, fingering lol, phone calls, almost our first fight, stress, Disney mom rule, Ruth is pretty alright for now, Brenda��
forgot to tag you in the deleted scene for TRDFAHS
M👻D☠️N👽I😈
Your mother always said ‘Anger is your sword and shield’. So you postured yourself as someone mad. One hip out, arms crossed, eyes narrowed.
“Sir I don’t appreciate a man in a lady’s space.”
Brady bit his tongue, wanting to say something sharp.
 I don’t see any ladies here.
 He met the glares of the women behind you. “Ah, well-,”
“Do you really expect her to leave in her robe?”
“Aren’t you the man whose been stalking her?”
“Autumn I’ll go with you.”
“You want her to get into a strange man’s car?”
He felt like a fox about to be pecked to death by the hens.
“Now-! Alright I’m seeing I maybe,” he set your shoes down and slid past you and between the other performers, “got a little eager to speak to you.”
“Does Janet know you like to hang around burlesquers?” Someone said as his back was turned.
Like having ice water poured over his head, his shoulders tensed as did his tone. “I’ll be right out the door.”
You tried to hide the tremble in your hands, but failed. Ruth slid beside you, “What do you need?”
A phone. But the cord wouldn’t reach that far. You wanted to tell Alastor. You needed him to know that detective had you cornered and knew of his existence.
“Could you stay with me? I’m not going anywhere. But I’ll feel safer if I’m not talking to him alone. In case he tries to drag me out. He seems a little off his rocker.” You were genuinely scared he would grab you by the arm and pull you out of the theater if he didn’t think anyone would see. 
She patted your back, the others filing in to continue with their work of getting dressed and undressed. You took your time, trying to plan what you would say.
Brady felt an embarrassed blush take hold as the women moved past him with scowls and tsks. He could feel a little bit of his sanity slip back now that you were in front of him. 
“I have some questions about Tommy. I’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks. We can head down now.”
Oddly, your mother also taught you, ‘You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.’ 
She didn’t always make a lot of sense, contradicting herself daily. 
Time to use the tried and true tactic, “I am sorry, detective. I had some trouble recently and have been keeping to myself… going home as soon as possible. Just trying to keep my nose clean. So to speak.”
Brady watched you look up at him with a face his daughter often gave him when she was in trouble. But you weren’t a child and you surely weren’t his daughter. “That’s no excuse to dodge me.”
Your turn to bite your tongue, “Of course, sir.”
Ruth was… confused. She’d never seen you so obedient. You had more venom in your voice after taking a hit from Tommy knowing a third could be close behind. Why were you being so small?
“Are you ready to go?” He fished in his pocket for his car door keys. 
Ruth felt the need to interject, “She’s not going anywhere.”
Perfect.
You nodded, “I won’t be out at night, sir. You know better than most about the dangers.” Your dangers. Your darling Alastor.
“No, no no,” an unhinged chuckle from the fraying detective, “You’re not slipping away again. I have my car, I’ll take you there and bring you home.”
Ruth looked to you, then back to the detective, “Is she under arrest?”
Brady rolled his eyes, “Of course not.”
“Then? What gives you the right?”
Technically, nothing. He didn’t need to talk to you. His lead still stood. But maybe you’d slip and say something to expedite his search for the radio man. Maybe this would only end with Tommy. But he felt something tickling the back of his skull. An urge to not stop pushing.
“I’ll meet you at the station tomorrow morning. Is it the address on the card you gave me?” Maybe you would, maybe you wouldn’t. You just needed him gone so you could call Alastor. 
He was shaking his notebook, key looped onto his finger. A nervous habit. “You still have my card?”
A smile, “Of course. In case any news came up. I’d have called but I didn’t realize you were so worked up.”
He scoffed. He wasn’t worked up. He was just annoyed. Maybe a little rougher in demeanor than usual but whose fault was that?
“If you don’t turn up tomorrow-,”
Ruth, taller than most women and some men and wide at the shoulders, leaned in.
Brady’s eyeline adjusted from yours to Ruth’s. Skye Scraper wasn’t just a pun, it was a cruel nickname she took ownership of. “Finish that sentence.”
The conversation ended there, Brady leaving with a huff.
You’d memorized the number the night Alastor gave it to you, too scared to write it down. He warned you though he wouldn’t be the one to answer.
“Is Alastor still there?” You tried to smile so you sounded less panicked. Ruth mouthed his name and pretended to swoon as you held the phone close to your ear. 
“Uhh depends, who is this?” Brenda answered, a voice you’d never heard but a woman Alastor had primed you for. 
“….”, but why hadn’t you thought through this part, what name was safe? Which was recognizable? You didn’t like the idea of this woman knowing your name. “Tell him it’s Autumn.”
“….” 
You laughed at Ruth, waiting still for a reply from Brenda, “Hello?”
“Is this a crank? Autumn like the season? I-,” a commotion, “Hey there! No. I don’t know. Well it’s past hours anywa-.”
Alastor was lying across Brenda’s desk to reach the phone, having wrestled it from the woman’s grip, “I’m here. What’s wrong? I was about to leave.”
“I’ll walk home tonight.” It hurt, physically hurt, to say it.
Alastor tried to keep his face neutral, “Oh.” Nervous fingers twirling the cord, “One second.” 
Harsh whispers, some clicks, and he was back, “I’m in my office. What happened?”
“Yeah Ruth is with me. It’s okay. I’ll call you like normal tomorrow?” 
“Should I swing by your apartment?” He considered doing it regardless of your answer.
“Ah, no. I wouldn’t recommend it. I’ll be heading to the police station early tomorrow so I’ll be asleep as soon as I’m flat.” Putting your hand over the receiver, you spoke to Ruth, “Thank you, we got it figured out.”
His heart sank to his stomach, “Did he finally manage to catch you?”
“Yeah. Or—-,” your voice cracked a little, the fear rolling in as soon as Ruth walked away, “Yeah.”
“I’m coming over to the theater.”
Cupping the phone you curved your shoulders in and turned away from the staff milling about, “Don’t, that’s worse.” Tears stung your eyes. You felt like you’d failed him. You had somehow, hadn’t you? The loose thread Brady could grab ahold of was you.
“If you can’t come to the alley I’ll leave after a couple minutes. But I’ll be there in twenty, same time as our normal pick up.”
“Alastor, that’s reckless.”
“Please, dear, I don’t want our first fight to be over my work line.” A calming breath, “You don’t have to meet me, but I’ll be there. Just five minutes, then I’ll be off.”
You decided the safest thing to do was to wait in the alley. If you saw any signs of Brady or anyone coming out, you’d go back inside and just miss the meeting. But the idea of Alastor being just beyond the wall, waiting all alone, was too much.
But how much harder would it be if the wall was of the prison? Or worse, dense earth under your feet? That’s what Brady was wanting. 
You hadn’t realized you’d been chewing your nails until his car turned down the alley from the back and you tore off much of the length of your thumbnail.
Your arms were thrown around him before he was fully out of the car, “Alastor, he knows I have a guy. He wanted me to go down right now but I managed to push it to tomorrow.” Alastor tried to decipher the words as you spoke them into his vest, “What do I do?”
Normally you’d have your own plans in mind but this was too big, this was capable of hurting him more than anyone else. 
He smelled like ink and smoke, a scent you inhaled as you tried to calm your breath.
A large hand patted your head, “Okay. You go tomorrow. It’ll be fine. Don’t stress.” Pulling you off he placed chaste kisses across your face. “Think about what you want to say to him and we can talk it out in the morning. Everything is fine.”
The reality of you standing in a dirty alley crying into the arms of a murderer set in. Then the little detail you were both killers creeped over your chest and took hold of your throat.
He was impressed at the strength of your hands as you gripped at his clothes. Leaning against the car, he offered you his most charming smile.
“Deep breaths, dear. Do I look scared?”
He didn’t. He looked like a magazine ad for French cologne or razor blades that left the softest skin. 
“No.” You shook your head.
“No.” He nodded. “It’ll be okay. If you don’t go, he will hound you worse. If you do go, maybe he’ll realize he’s got a handful of nothing.”
His smile blinded you. Bright grin as he rested against his car, arms open. 
“Do you really think so? A handful of nothing?”
“Did he say my name?”
“No.”
“Did he–” he elongated the word, lips pursed as he searched the sky for his next words, “have Tommy’s body?”
You laughed, morbid but preposterous, “I didn’t pat him down. Coulda.” 
Alastor snapped his fingers, “We’ll have to just assume he didn’t.” A moment of tension. The act of joking barely traversing the space between your bodies let alone reaching the stress under your skin. His hands came to your shoulders; firm, secure. “Did you want to have that fight now? About me coming over here.”
You rolled your eyes, obviously not. “Ala-,” you started and stopped.
“I’ll admit I’m being reckless but I think we can both agree my way is more fun.” Smile sliding into a smirk, he cocked his head and lowered it to get back into your line of sight. When you stuck your tongue out he took a deep breath in, relief. “Are you sure I can’t take you home?”
To which home, you wondered. He used the word so casually and interchangeably…
Face close to yours. Eyes solely on you. Perhaps the stage wasn’t as necessary as you’d once thought. Lips on lips, the feeling of his smile spreading as he returned the kiss. A second of panic as you realized you couldn’t see or hear or sense what else was happening anymore in the alley. Brady could have had you in handcuffs and you wouldn’t be the wiser. Not as long as Alastor’s mouth was moving over yours.
“I’ll call in the morning.” He said into your exhale.
You hadn’t opened your eyes yet. Not ready to return to earth. A pout from you. A chuckle from him. “I’ll be waiting,” You finally said. 
While you did your waiting, shuffling around the theater and later tossing around in bed, Alastor fell into a different kind of purgatory.
One he hadn’t realized he’d made for himself until you weren’t there. 
The house was quiet, almost eerie. Even with music on he found himself nearly uncomfortable. He shifted several times in his chair while reading, not finding any way to settle in. 
His bed was lopsided. Suddenly one side was too light. Multiple times his hand slid under the sheets in search of you out of habit. 
What a terrible feeling; to want someone. To know you could have them but they just… weren’t there.
It didn't make any sense. He knew he’d see you soon, in less than a day's time even. He typically enjoyed his home and its silence. Being alone was predictable and therefore comforting. Well, it had been. Before you. 
The feeling in his chest, akin to a magnet tugging through his sternum toward a distant partner, didn’t abate.
Only when he heard your voice again over the phone did he find a sliver of peace.
“I’ve decided I’ll deny I have a guy. And, I’ll never tell him about you. It’s safer if he never connects us.”
Alastor was listening, honestly, but he wasn’t really processing. His mind was worried about something else. The detective genuinely didn’t bother him but he had to agree, “I suppose that’s best. As long as we can manage it, to not let him know we’re together.”
Together.
You were together with him. An item. How spectacular you must be to be a part of anything with him.
But for how long? With a certain detective breathing down your neck…, “I’m scared. Actually.”
You could hear the smile in Alastor’s breath, it was odd but eased you. 
“He will never have enough to convict us. He’ll drive himself crazy trying. Trust me.” He soothed. 
Did you have any choice? “Okay. You’re right. I trust you.” Unequivocally so. 
He cleared his throat, “Sorry to change the subject…”
“Please.”
“I want you to come over again tonight. What do you think?”
“Oh, yeah. Of course, don’t even need to ask. I’ll always say yes.” All you needed to do was get through Brady and you’d be home.
But for Alastor, well, he wasn’t done asking the question. A moment of panic from a place unrecognized in his brain, fear of losing himself entirely. But what good was a safe harbor if he never ventured out to sea? That’s just a restraint then, isn’t it? 
Maybe you held a place for him even richer in its comforts than his solitude.
So he let himself drift away from familiar shores, no sails and no compass, “I think it’d be smart to bring over a couple sets of clothes. I can keep them washed and always here for you. Would that be alright?” He had wanted to suggest it while together, but Brady was ruining more than his sleep.
Oh.
The same silence from when he first extended the invitation, the deja vu not lost on you. You struggled to decipher the second meaning you were sure was there. Maybe he didn't know what he had asked. 
“I know it’s boring out in the boonies but, you’re welcome to just stay over while I go to work. I can come back and get you for rehearsals… I’ll enjoy the clubs or come back and make something for a late dinner for us, and bring you home when you’re done.”
He said it. He hadn’t really meant to, so he felt the need to clarify, but you also needed him to clarify just as quickly, “I -,”
“Did you me-?”
“Sorry, go ahead.”
“No I interrupted you-,”
“Not at all pl-,”
“Alastor for the love of God please don’t make me keep talking right now.” You lightly knocked your head with the phone a few times. Your heart was gasping for an ounce of understanding.
He chuckled, glad you were still very much yourself, “I meant, take you home as in, away from work. So, here. Or, there, if you’d prefer.” His face scrunched up, this wasn’t a conversation he had any practice in, “Anywhere really. I’ll drive you anywhere.”
“Alabama?”
He looked at the phone as if you were in it. Alabama? 
“Like— the first time you asked me over.” You added quickly. A terrible joke, a bad callback that made it painfully obvious you committed everything he said to memory.
Alastor rested his cheek on the dining table, laughing into the wood before bringing the receiver back. You always offered him an out of uncomfortable situations, “Well the offer still stands. I'd be willing to even venture at least halfway across Texas.” 
“The best half of Texas is on our side so that’s a generous offer. But, given our work schedules, I think your house would be much better. Time wise.” 
He let his eyes close as he felt the coldness of the wood, “Is that a yes then? To bringing over a couple of items… for ease.” Was it a mistake? Would he regret it? 
You were worth regrets. He had decided. He wanted you to say yes.
The weight of what he was asking wasn’t lost on you an ounce. You could see your window from the phone booth. You took great pride in your little apartment. It was your space and no one else’s. As a child you struggled to have your own anything, so you valued your home. 
But could you call any place so far from Alastor a home?
It’s just a few items. You weren’t giving up your lease. It’s a baby step. One you could easily walk back if you needed to later. It’s not like you hadn’t spent every night possible already since that first offer.
“Yes.” 
It was a plan that took your mind off cops. Have your interrogation, go home, then go home for a relaxing evening of jazz and drink.
The levity ended though the second you hung up the receiver. An obstacle between you and him still stood. You pulled out your bag but couldn’t find the will to pack it. Your hands were too busy as you chewed on your thumbnail again.
Brady noticed the uneven length when you sat down and set your hands on the table.
“Surprised you showed.” He opened his notebook and readied his pencil. “First things first, what is your legal name?”
A chill. You’d gotten your warning the night before to prepare something to say but ignored it. Your mind was flipping through words and images. Piercing all of it were the white reflective eyes of the deer along the road. You decided to lean into what you knew. 
“Autumn.”
“Really? Never heard the name Autumn before.”
“Me either. Made for an easy stage name.”
“I’ll need to see your birth records, just to be sure.”
You sucked your teeth. “Ah, unfortunately…all that stuff was left behind with my mom when I moved.”
“And where can I find her?
“Corner of North Villere street and Piety.”
“And your address?”
You paused. His eyes rose and met yours. The radiant aqua from the cafe morning was now an icy color. “I don’t give my address out. You know where I work.”
“But you’re fine giving me your mother’s address? That’s cold.”
“Not as cold as she is, I’m sure of that.”
“Fine, I’ll find it in the census records.” He flipped the page, “Tell me about the dates Tommy arranged.” He tapped his notepad on the table like it was the starting bell of a fight.
You wished Alastor was with you, but also wished he would never enter that station. “Apparently many of the dancers agreed, got a cut. I had no idea about it until he,” you remembered the man and his ugly tie, “introduced me to a man who was very forward. I insulted him and ran off. Lost Tommy good money, apparently.”
“And who was that?”
You searched your memory, “S something. Mister Stein? I honestly wasn’t listening much after I realized what was happening.”
Brady nodded, “And then he knocked you around?”
You winced without meaning too, “Yeah. Got me good.”
Brady waited for you to continue talking, but you had learned this game. People know silence is uncomfortable and will use that against you. So you let the silence stay. Let the awkward tension build. You had limited time, he knew that.
He caved first. “And… the next date. Last time anyone saw Tommy. Tell me about that.”
Lying was second nature to you. You had killed for Alastor. You could do this. Deep breaths, slink into yourself. You imagined Alastor choked on the park grounds, wet and unmoving. Imagined him cold to the touch.
“Tommy said he’d kill me if I didn’t go. So I did. Promised me he’d stay with me for protection.” Tears welled. Bloody hands and a large rock. “But as soon as he got his money he left.” 
Brady was writing, “And the man? What was his name.”
“Something foreign. Kerr-something. Or Car?”
He looked up slightly, “You’re pretty terrible at names.”
You wiped away your tears, “I had more pressing concerns at the time than trying to remember that man’s name. I was hoping I’d never need to know it.”
Brady hummed, “Yeah. And what did your beau think of this?”
Did you hide it? The flash of panic that rolled under the flesh of your face, “If I had a beau Tommy wouldn’t have made me do that. He said that himself.”
“Too bad he’s not here to confirm.”
“If he was we wouldn’t be having this conversation, detective.”
“Touché. Clever little lady aren’t you?”
Fuck.
You shifted slightly in your seat, looking downward in an attempt at being bashful. “That’s kind to say.”
“So why did,” he flipped through his book, “Beth say you stopped singin’ on Sundays cuz of your radio boyfriend?”
“Ah,” a weak laugh to hide the way your breath got sucked in with panic. The words ‘radio boyfriend’ punched the air from your lungs. “You must mean the rake. Took me for a ride at a club corner and sent me off in a cab to never see me again. Didn’t know he was in radio though.” 
“Well now you’re lying and I don’t appreciate it one ounce ma’am.“
“What?”
“Beth says he’s been coming to your shows for nearly half a year.”
No acting necessary for this part. “What are you talking about? I met him at a club. We arranged a date and he picked me up at—“
“Beth’s dive.”
“…. Yeah. Well.” He’d been there before? So often? And you never noticed…, “That’s news to me, that he had been there for so long, it’s got its regulars though so...” You shifted again, this time with a clear uncomfortable edge. 
“He stopped coming when you stopped singing.”
“….guess he got what he wanted then. A fun time in the swing hall bathroom.”  Anger. Unreal and unfounded. Trying your best to hide how confused you were.
“Sounds like a stalker, miss. Maybe one who woulda been quite unhappy to hear you were selli-,”
You cut him off, eyes snapping up to meet his, “I really recommend you reconsider your wording.”
Brady laughed with a huff, “A man dizzy with a dame can do some funny stuff. Especially if he hears she’s in a pickle.”
“Well, no knight coming to rescue me. I’ve sworn off men. It’s why I’ve been leaving work early. Getting home, reading, sleeping. He really did a number on my heart and my pride as a woman.”
Brady’s pencil stopped moving. 
“And his name?”
You’d never fucking say it. He could walk in on you moaning ‘Alastor’ and you’d still act like you’d never heard that string of syllables in your life. 
“John.”
Brady laughed and tossed the pencil to the table, “Let me guess, last name Doe?”
You shrugged, “We weren’t on a full name basis. He was handsome, he took me out, we fucked, I never saw him again” You delighted in the way his face screwed up at your unladylike language. 
“So, someone in radio named John. You know I’m going to be at every broadcaster talking to every John, right?” The nervous shaking of his notebook again. 
“When you find him let me know.”
“Oh I will.” He said it so quickly, so sharply you could feel it cut at your cheek as the words flew past you.
You pulled your hands into your lap, eyes firmly locked on Brady’s. “You look tired, sir. I hope my answers will help you. So you can rest.”
“I am tired. Of people jerking me around. You won’t give me your address, you don’t remember anyone’s name, not even your own, and you deny having a man I know you have.”
If you screamed would he have you committed? “I’m terribly sorry,” you leaned over the table and pulled a piece of fuzz off his shoulder, “my friend gave you inaccurate and dated information. I am genuinely trying to help as much as I can.”
Upon closer inspection, his eyes were more than just blue. They were dark and light, deep and shallow. Blue so far down it was nearly black. A blue so bright it was a cousin of white. Eyes you were sure would haunt you. 
“Help me then, Autumn.” Your brows rose at the request. He leaned back and away from you, “Just tell me what happened to Tommy. What your guy did. If he was trying to protect your name then we could find a sympathetic jury.”
Sympathy? Your smile was too wide, stare gone too soft. What sympathy did he have or would anyone have for you? Did he think you wanted the tender hearts of strangers? “Tommy ran off with a bag of money. He was a good man with a bad habit. That’s all I know. I have no partner, man or otherwise.”
A standstill. 
Brady felt a twitch in his hands he wasn’t used to. An itch to move. Unlike him, and a little frightening. 
Maybe he had been running himself ragged. 
Back sliding down slightly in his chair, he laced his fingers and rested them in his lap, “You know I’m gonna find out what happened, right?” His tone had shifted to something serious and calm. He said it like he was telling you a secret. Low but firm. Steady and sure. 
Those eyes. No, worse. What was behind them. You could see it clearly; unflappable determination. He absolutely would. 
“I trust you will.” A moment of silence again as you both felt the conversation die. As you stood, Brady did too.
“I wasn’t bluffing about him going to Beth’s for more than half a year now. I don’t know how you think this is gonna end but it won’t end pretty. Whether it was just your boss or all the others on my desk, end it with him and help us bring Tommy home to his mother.”
You adjusted your purse on your shoulder, “I don’t know how many time-,”
“Autumn. I’ve seen enough make up covered bruises to clock em from across the room. That’s the act of a possessive, immature man. Just think about what I said,” You opened the door in an effort to keep your hands from shooting to your neck. “There’s no white picket fence or church bells for you two. He’s a bad man. I think he may even be an evil man. You’re gonna end up hurt, or dead.”
A laugh bubbled up in your chest but you managed to stifle it. With an honest smile you replied, “We’re all gonna end up dead someday, Detective. I’ll call if I have any news. Thanks for your concern and … evident hard work.” You offered a little nod of your head before leaving the room and the station as quickly as you could without running. 
When he set down his notebook after returning to his desk, he couldn’t sit. Energy was buzzing in his limbs. He needed to run or swing or pace.
His desk neighbor watched him immediately pick up the notebook again and grab his hat. A few other men shared a glance as Brady rushed out, an unsettling feeling passed among them. 
“He’s still on that case?” One asked quietly, going back to his papers.
“Not officially….” Answered Freeman, standing at the window and watching Brady flag down a taxi.
“North Villere street and Piety, please.” He told the driver, not noticing his friend in the window.
It wasn’t near the station, nor the dance scene. He wondered if your mother would be any more amiable. What kind of woman would raise such a creature as you?
When the car slowed, Brady clicked back into his surroundings. He looked through every window hoping to see something different.
After a long pause the cabbie asked, “Ya gonna get out?”
His knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the seat. “No. Take me back to the station.”
His blood pressure rose so quickly he was sure he would black out as the cab turned around and drove back past the sign; Vincent DePaul cemetery.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Alastor kissed away the worries when he took your bag from you. Every detail of the interview was just hummed away. “Even if he finds me, without a body he has no case.” He reminded you like it was nothing short of fact.
“What if he gets one?”
“Not one of mine, I can assure you. He’d sooner need to kill someone himself and call it my fault.” A pause, was that something the detective would do? He shook off the thought. 
He was so confident that even though you knew it was just skin deep it still gave you a sense of calm. The bodies, where they went after he was done with them in the greenhouse, was the last step he hadn’t shared with you.
There was one thing you didn’t mention about the interrogation. 
You waited until you were a few drinks in, Alastor’s bowtie off and shirt unbuttoned several buttons before bringing it up. Uncharacteristically nervous about how he’d react when you broached the topic, you needed several deep breaths to get up your courage. Normally the idea of offending a man with an honest question wouldn’t ruffle you a bit, but once again there was nothing normal about you and Alastor. He made you so unlike yourself but not necessarily worse. Perhaps some consideration of other’s reactions wasn’t a bad thing. 
“This is awkward to ask.” It was dark already, the sun setting earlier and earlier. The buzz of the kitchen light could be heard through the screen door, the light just enough to let you see each other's features clearly. Leaning back on both hands for support, your legs rested in an unladylike spread down the porch stairs. No shoes. No girdle. No pretense.
Would he be mad? Or maybe offended?
“Brady said you had been going to my Sunday shows for awhile. Months before we actually met. Did you really meet me by coincidence?”
“Or was I stalking you as my next victim?” His head fell to the side, eyes closed and smile wide. “I saw you there, yes. And though you weren’t the best singer, I did enjoy your shows.”
You tried to see him without directly turning your head. 
“But yes, it was a coincidence. I had noticed that brute of a man a couple weeks in a row, staring at you so intensely. Word got around he had made a scene some time ago with a dancer.” 
You listened like someone was telling you your own story. It was an odd feeling, hearing someone recount your days from a different perspective. An unknown one. 
“I was surprised to see you at the theater when I followed him there. Even more so to see you in the alleyway.”
If he had said it wasn’t a coincidence, you genuinely didn’t know what you’d have done. You’d be scared and angry. Another predator lurking just past the tree lines.
Your relief must have been visible. “He really got to you, didn’t he?” Alastor asked, leaning over and letting his shoulder bump into yours. He was still riding the high of putting away your belongings in his closet and drawers. 
“Yeah. He gives me a bad feeling. Like…a brick wall barreling toward me.” You kicked a leaf off the steps, “Or like, when you see a big dark cloud on the horizon. Can’t do anything but wait and hunker down.”
How do you wait out a storm so set on burying you?
“Dear,” his hands rose and palms flipped up in a way that said he wasn’t hiding anything, “We get hurricanes annually. We’ve survived every one thus far. He’s just a drip. A sprinkle of a man.”
People have drowned on land before. A sprinkle could lead to pneumonia and that could lead to a wooden box. 
He tried to change the topic, laughing about Brenda’s reaction to the call and making plans for an evening out when things settled down again. You listened, but it was your turn to be half there. 
You could barely muster concern when you realized you’d forgotten your makeup and hair wrap at home when you were preparing for bed. What you would give for going home barefaced with a ruined hairdo to be the biggest stress of your week. 
The distance in your stare was weighing down his joy, how could he relish in the newest addition to his home when you were so burdened? Even in the moonless night he could see the faintest light reflecting off your eyes as you stared at the ceiling. Did you even feel his stare? 
He couldn’t let Brady poison his bed, and the man was clearly there now. Chasing you in your mind still. 
“Could I offer you a distraction?” Alastor slipped up against you, hand finding your hip. He could see your smile forming. 
“I wouldn’t argue against a distraction…,” you’d beg for one if you didn’t want to feel any lower than you already did. 
“Perfect. This bed isn’t made for three, so let’s eject that little nag, dear.” His hands slipped down your legs, “I want to replace your thoughts with better ones.” He pulled you to him, your back pressed into his broad chest. The way his soft hands smoothed over your silk slip felt like foreplay, so smooth and slick. Frictionless and gentle. Those same hands ran down and between your legs, following the line of your thighs until they found your center. “It seems you forgot something else.” Two fingers caressed your lower lips, barely parting them, “Not that I’m complaining…,” his lips found the back of your neck as his fingers rubbed gently at your core. 
It took so very little to get your body on board, wet and relaxed for his practiced hand. Your own fingers coming down to rub at your clit quickly when you felt your pleasure winding up. 
He sighed directly into the shell of your ear, hands working in tandem with yours under the covers. His back pressed against you, hips rolling into your backside in time with his fingers. 
“What are you thinking about?” Barely above a whisper as he said it into your heated skin.
“Fingers.”
“Whose?” His voice was deeper than his usual speaking tone. A tenor that made you clench around him.
“Yours.”
You’d never been so satisfied with hands before. With breath. With the sounds of a man. Never saw stars while clothed and not under the lights of the stage. Warm and wet kisses to your neck as you came down from your high, you’d never considered sex could be more than a man fucking someone. Nor that a man could find pleasure so readily with his cock still in his pants. But the way he hummed and growled softly into your skin was proof of his good time. 
You’d learned a lot from those progressively chillier nights at Alastor’s over the first week of your constant cohabitation. How much you liked waking up with someone just a reach away. How Alastor woke slowly, incapable of coherent speech for at least the first twenty minutes of his day. He’d stare and smile as his eyes blinked out of sync, rolling back occasionally as he fought the urge to fall back into sleep. Hair disheveled and soft.
When the weekend came, Alastor offered again to take you out. A promise to take you somewhere no detectives would be hiding about. A week without a peep, you were sure he had followed up with your mother and was probably steaming to get at you. But, for some reason or another, he hadn’t appeared again in the crowd of your shows. 
A week of going into work unmade and unkempt, you finally gave in and asked to be taken to your apartment early Friday. You’d grab a few items you needed, take them to work, and be back home that night. 
Your eyes were on Alastor when his car pulled up to your building. When he kissed you, your hand scratched at the shorter hairs at the nape of his neck. Eyes closed, you could smell him and feel him so much clearer. Perhaps when you were old together you wouldn’t have to worry about your sight giving out, you thought. Because you’d always know it was him by the way his skin on yours lit you up. 
“Pack something you’d like to wear out tomorrow night.” He reminded you before you pulled yourself from the car and waved him off. You lingered for a moment as he drove away, wondering if maybe the storm had been pushed off course.
“Oooh, who is he?”
Whipping around, you saw a familiar face sitting on the stoop of your building. An unwelcome one, though. 
“What the fuck are you doing here, Mavis?” Your bag fell from your hands as the strength drained from your limbs.
She patted the dust off her dress before bouncing down the steps.  “The names Ephi now.” A half sister, though perhaps a quarter sister would be best to describe the often absentminded, when not literally absent, sibling. 
“That’s not a name that’s a fucking letter of the alphabet. Mama would smack the color of your cheeks if she heard you.” You were sure you’d not see her ever again, not after she ran off to head north before your mother passed. She scowled, arms crossed as you brushed past her. “I don’t have any money so you wasted a trip. See ya in another decade.”
Ephi grinned up at you as you climbed the stairs, “Looked like he had some money. Mr. Big Shot and his shiny bus.”
“Lotsa people have cars.” Your eyes landed on the suitcase poorly hidden behind the steps. Hand halting its search for the building key as you could feel the stare of your mother looking…down? A weight slipping over your shoulders like a man’s heavy winter coat.
“Well I don’t need money or cars. I need a place to crash.”
Your head fell. You could feel it coming. The gust of wind dragging the clouds slowly towards you. No, the storm wasn’t off course. It was just building momentum.
˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖
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cyberl33ch · 1 day
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Spring Fling💋
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summary: Your roommate of a couple months decides to ask you out...kind of? What could transpire?
cw: smut MDNI, hopeless romance, drunk/tipsy sex, Abby is g!p, fingering & head.
pairing: G!P Abby x Inexperienced!Florist!Reader
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Moving to Seattle wasn’t really the plan but getting out of your small town was exactly what you needed. Don’t get me wrong small towns are cute and everything's laid out for you but seeing the same old faces and going to the same old places gets tiring. And you can’t like getting away from the drama that your ex had caused was what you longed for. But having a hot roommate…you definitely did not plan for it.
Her name was Abby. She was very muscular with sort of a dusty blonde/brunette thing going on obviously the female definition of a dilf. She would go to the gym every morning which would leave you time to have the house to yourself in order to get ready for whichever job you were working. She also happened to pass by every time she was leaving the gym.
Sometimes she would come by and speak just to take a look at the fresh flowers that came in ever so often. You could obviously tell she had a green thumb the way she would cater to the ones in the apartment. Overall she was cool but that all changed randomly when she invited you out, even though you were quite busy with whatever shifts you managed to pick up.
The bell on the front shop door rings announcing someone entering. “Welcome to Bloomscape, what can I help you with?” You say putting down the spray bottle after watering the flowers behind the counter. You turn around to meet none other than Abby. Just your luck. “Oh hey Abby, the new peonies are out front if you’re-” “Would you like to go out with me?” She says, you realize her face is slightly red but you brush it off assuming she had an intense workout today. “Sorry with a couple friends not like…that.” She explains making you nod your head in understanding. Not going to lie that hurt a little bit. Like a slow jab to your heart. “Oh yeah sure…what time?” You question “Around 8pm you should be off by then right?” She asks. You nod your head and after working out the details she leaves rather quickly (and quite flushed if I do say so myself) not even looking at the peonies out front. Weird.
After closing up shop and making your way back to the apartment you walk in to realize she’s already invited her friends over to pregame. Assuming that’s what it was anyway you peek in the living room and say hello. “Hello!” You say as you wave at all 3 of them in the living room. “Oh shit- Guys this is the friend I invited out with us!” She says, gesturing for them to introduce themselves to you. “Hello, I’m Dina, these two shithead's friends.” One says pushing Abby's shoulder. “I’m Ellie.” Another quite attractive one says waving back to you shyly (if i do say so myself) “I’ll go get ready, nice to meet you guys!” You walk to your room and before you can even shut the door you hear Ellie saying that you’re “Smoking hot.” Smiling ear to ear you close the door before you can hear any further and start to get ready.
You walk out of your room and walk into the kitchen going in the fridge to search for a beer. When you feel a hand on your waist you jolt up meeting Abby. “Hey calm down darlin’.” She almost laughs out and hands you a beer knowing you’re searching for one. You take the beer smiling slightly, thanking her and closing the fridge. After an hour of pregaming you they decide it’s time to go to the bar. “Everybody set to go?” Abby questions looking at everyone grabbing her keys.
Hour 2 in the bar Dina and Ellie are the only ones looking groggy and soggy but you and Abby are having the time of your lives. You never knew that you and Abby had so much music taste in common. As the night started to grow older and older they started to play slower, more romantic music. You take your seat at the bar sipping your drink by Dina and Ellie who are both by now practically eye fucking each other.
You were about to go outside for a smoke when your thought was interrupted by a light tap on your shoulder. “Hey, do you mind dancing with me?” Abby asks with her face growing more red by the second. “Uh yeah of course” You smile. As soon as you two hit the middle of the floor she immediately puts her hands on your waist pulling you closer to her. You look up at her with big doe eyes and that’s when you start to feel the liquor finally hit you because she looks good enough to eat at this moment. She nuzzles your neck as your bodies practically become one. “I need you.” She whispers in your ear making you gasp which gives her enough time to slip her tongue into your mouth and take you in a devastating kiss.
As she pulls back from your lips you shoot her a confused look. “I thought you-” She shushes you putting her finger up to your lips. “Take a cab with me.” Abby demands taking your hand interlocking your fingers with hers as she makes her way through the sea of people on the dance floor. She gets up to the bar giving Ellie enough money to get a cab and pay for the drinks. As she reaches the outside she pauses for a moment taking in the cool spring breeze compared to the hot atmosphere of the bar. You’ve never really taken a moment to really soak in Abby’s features. Her hair which she rarely let down blowing with the wind. And oh gosh- her nose looks like you could ride that for days at a time.
You get so taken up in your thoughts you didn’t realize she was staring right back at you. “Can I have my face back?” She jokes you lightly jabbing her shoulder. “Jeez, I’m just joking…that hurt a bit.” Abby says pouting and rubbing her shoulder softly. “Aw, is the baby hurt?” You say mocking her pouting and rubbing your shoulder. “Yeah yeah whatever lets start walking weirdo.” She says rolling her eyes rather sassily.
Weirdo. Weirdo? WEIRDO?? “You want to talk about weird? Let’s talk about how you always treat me like a little sister and then randomly kiss me.” You sass back at her, narrowing your eyes as you two begin your journey back to the apartment. “I’ll do it again.” Abby treats this as if were a threat to your safety as she can’t seem to choose between looking at your lips or your eyes. “Whatever sass-factor!” You roll your eyes at her crossing your arms.
Back at the apartment you assume you two are just going to go your separate ways again like this never happened.“So…we just go our separate ways?” You mumble out just above a whisper as your vision starts to blur from tearing up. “What if we didn’t?” Abby says taking a step closer to you. “What if?” You accept the challenge, taking another step towards her. Abby pulls you closer by your waist and takes off your jacket for you, discarding it on the sofa. Followed by taking off her own and dropping it right by her feet. “What if?” She quirks an eyebrow staring straight at your glossy lips. After that she just couldn’t play this little game you were playing with her anymore as she takes you in another breathtaking kiss and lifts you up like you’re nothing.
You straddling her waist as she sets you down on the bed, her kneeling in front of you making full eye contact as she takes off your shoes for you. She looks up at you resting her hands on your thighs. “Do I have your consent?” Abby asks, peering into your eyes. God's consent is sexy. “Yes.” You nod. Abby follows this with sliding down your underwear and pinning you to the mattress, her on top of you. She then takes two fingers and taps on your lips asking demanding for entrance. “Suck.” She orders as you open your mouth and swirl your tongue around her digits.
“Good girl” She praises. She then takes them out of your mouth leaving a string of saliva as she lifts up your dress and starts to coat her fingers in your arousal and insert them up until her knuckles. The length of her fingers makes you immediately grab her wrist moaning. “Fuck! Abby…” You pant out as she starts to pick up the pace, shouting her name like it’s a mantra. “Thaaat’s it baby take it.” She affirms as the knot in your stomach comes undone faster and faster. “Gonna cum…” You mumble out making her grab your chin realizing she wants to see your reaction as you eat up the pleasure she was dishing out.
As you feel your release coating her fingers and your surroundings becoming more and more fuzzy by the second. You sit up seeing her licking her fingers clean making full eye contact with you. By the time her fingers are practically wrinkly from the hydration they were getting she turns you around and starts unlacing your dress. Grazing her fingertips lightly on the skin of your back. “Your skin is so soft…” Abby says just above a whisper.
She starts kissing you and leaving little love bites and marks that’ll surely bruise in the morning. You hear her start to strip behind you and just as she’s taking off her boxers you get a good glimpse of what’s to come. And you start to turn around and make full contact with her long, thick, blushed precum dripping shaft. More so gawking at it because she definitely noticed while taking off her shirt.
“You wanna touch it?” She asks, reaching out to grab your hand, as she guides your hand onto the base of it. “Don’t be scared mama.” Abby chuckles, still guiding your hand to slowly stroke it making her grunt. As she slowly softens her grip and lets you take control, throwing her head back in pleasure grunting loudly. She grabs your chin absentmindedly removing your hand and picking up the pace as her eyes sear into your soul as she motions for you to open your mouth.
Followed by multiple grunts and curses she finally releases ropes of herself onto your tongue. As you close your mouth and swallow the liquid. “Hands and knees” Abby demands with low lidded eyes. You follow her instructions in a daze as she grabs a hold on your hips, forcing you to arch your back. Abby cautiously slides the tip in after realizing how tight you were, grunting in pleasure as a response. “Fuuuck” She mumbles out her eyes closed as you squeeze around her length. As she takes her time inch by inch she eventually bottoms out. This feels good of course but she can hear you whimper as you taste the saltiness of your tears.
Abby slowly starts to pick up a steady pace as you start to reach back trying to slow her down as the tears come down more frequently. “Nuh uh baby you can take it” She says in between grunts swatting your hand away as you grip the sheets. As her pace quickens she pulls you up by your shoulder, taking that hand and wrapping it around your throat. She then takes her other hand from your hip and starts rubbing your sensitive clit.
Your eyes roll back in your head as she tops that off by kissing your neck, knowing by the way you were growing louder she knew you were close to your orgasm. Abby reaches an unimaginable pace and that’s when you feel it hit you like a tsunami. As you feel her warm seed fill you up and mix with yours you finally come down from the drunken, fuzzy high you two were in. You feel her pull out and the mix of you guys’ climax slide down your legs.
After you two showered together and put on pajamas you both lie in the bed, her spooning you. You’ve dozed off a while ago as she just admires your beauty in the moonlit room. Brushing the hair out of your face, she pecks your temple and dozes off along with you.
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my masterlist
(tell me in my ask my anything's if you have a request!)
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queenpiranhadon · 9 hours
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what are your thoughts on katsuki's reaction when he finds out his partner has the same spice tolerance as him...
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A/N: Oh, anon don't worry I have MORE than just thoughts... I actually love this prompt so I'm gonna write it a little differently than usual :) Here's the masterlist!
Warning(s): Cursing, reader likes spicy food, second or third year-ish, fluff, pre-established relationship, standard partner nicknames are used - dummy, babe, baby, etc, reader is gn but is written with f!reader in mind, double dates but it's just silly goofy
Pairing(s): Bakugou Katsuki x Reader, Mina Ashido x Ejiro Kirishima
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•─────•°•❀•°•──── ᴡᴀꜱᴀʙɪ ─────•°•☁︎•°•────•
So from your wording, Bakugou finds out about your spice preferences at some point during your relationship, instead of before, which I don't think is as plausible because of his insane perception skills (he probably knows more about you than even you do before you guys start dating- my man is a closeted nerd and you can't convince me otherwise). But if he did find out while you two were dating, the outcome would be hilarious.
Let's say you're in the UA dorms, whether you're in the hero course on not, you're just chilling in the kitchen waiting for your boyfriend to meet you downstairs. Class 1-A loves you a ton, and even though the tease you and Bakugou a lot, you both end up having a lot of Netflix and chill dates in the common room since the TV there has a shirt ton of streaming services.
You put down your phone, sighing, and decide to be a little more productive instead- making your way to the common room to pick out a movie. It was tradition, between you, Katsuki, Kirishima and Mina to watch movies together every now and then as a double date- something Katsuki was adverse to but you knew he secretly enjoyed the chaos that ensued whenever the four of you were together- also realizing that if they weren't in his line of sight, they'd probably end up blowing up the dorms by accident anyways. He'd only said this once though, face turning bright red as you teasingly called him a mother hen.
Mina and Kirishima had started dating a few months ago (you and Katsuki had celebrated your 1 year anniversary two weeks prior). You thought it was nice, seeing Katsuki interact with his friends as he relaxed, even if only a little, around his close friends.
You settle yourself down in the plush couch across from the TV screen, and feel the cushions dip as a new weight is added, seeing Mina Ashido plopping down next to you.
"Movie night!" she cheers, and she nudges you with her shoulder. "Some day we gotta ditch the boys and get through a movie marathon together- I swear Eji has the worst taste in movies, if I have to watch another Star Wa-"
"Hey! My taste isn't that bad!" Kirishima whines, coming up behind the both of you with Katsuki in tow. "Plus you keep asking to watch those K-dramas that get your mascara running."
Mina raises an eyebrow. "Eji, you cry more than I do during those."
Katsuki sighs and raises his hand in an attempt for peace. "Oi, shut yer mouths and go grab the pillows and blankets. Y/N and I will order food and pick out the movie."
Mina groans but relents, looking at you pleadingly. "Please chose a good movie - no to be continued PLEASE"."
You snort, remembering how one time Kirishima had chosen Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and prompted the four of you to binge the entire MCU on a day without classes.
Scrolling through movies, you decide to choose a classic- the Matrix, something action packed enough to keep Kirishima (and Katsuki's) attention, and something with enough romance to keep Mina hooked.
As you navigate through the countless streaming services, Katsuki's voice pops up behind you.
"Oi, babe what do ya want to eat? Got some rolls dipped in wasabi for myself...I already know Shitty Hair's gonna ask for some chicken wings- an I got some tacos for Pinky cause I know she was whinin about cravin Mexican food earlier..." He trails off, embarrassed when you grin knowingly in his direction.
You decide to be merciful though, shrugging and returning back to the TV. "I know very well that you're going to order from three different places just so all of us get what we want so I'll just share with you." you smile, and Bakugou's heart thumps softly from your thoughtfulness.
"Tch- whatever dummy. What do ya want in them- I know my rolls are pretty fuckin spicy - avocado, shrimp, cr-" He asks, but you cut his off with a bewildered look.
"What? Why wouldn't I get it with wasabi??" You ask dumbfounded. "That's like 85% of the flavor - plus it's kinda boring without it." you say, and your boyfriend's jaw drops open- as if you'd told him you were pregnant of something.
"Marry me."
You want to burst out in giggles, but stop when you see the deadass look on his face.
"Kats-"
"Jesus Christ, baby of all the shit ya hide from me, ya hide the most important one?!" He asks incredulously and that's when you start laughing.
"If ya told me this shit sooner I would've asked yer ass out the moment I met ya."
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Text
Tiny Little Good Things-
A. Aretas
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PAIRING: ARMANDO X READER
synopsis: You and Armando get sent on a mission to stop a vicious drugs and arms dealer. Chaos ensues and you two find out why the lines between love and hate are constantly blurring for you both.
theme(s): eventual smut (+18), gore and blood, cursing, graphic imagery, angst, enemies to lovers, Armando is a dick and really hot when he speaks Spanish.
warnings: there is smut in this fic as well as many bloody scenes, if you can’t handle either, I wouldn’t read on!
authors note: hi, yes I know this fic is long as shit, but I felt it was necessary for what unfolds. There is more than 12k words here, so sorry to all my short attention span people. ❤️love you, k bye!
word count: 12.5k
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“Ramos Malik, age thirty-seven and Miami’s biggest up and coming arms and drug dealer.’ Kelly says, fingers gracing her iPad as she swivels through pictures, displaying them on the plasma screen ahead.
“He’s a big fucking problem. 3D printing' slugs that are hitting the streets faster than crack in the seventies.’ Mike Lowery, head of AMMO, interjects. “Shells the size of a thumbs, sharper than lions teeth, are being pulled out of rival gang members, bystanders, and law enforcement all around the city.”
You turn in your chair, pushing away from your computer screen. “So, how do we stop him?”
Dorn rounds the steel table, a slab of guns, gear, and tech, gently taking the iPad from Kelly’s hand, and you don’t miss the way she blushes. It’s cute, those two. Kelly and you had grown close ever since you joined AMMO as their new technical analyst months ago. Dorn gave up the position, wanting to be present in the field—mostly to have Kelly’s six—he and his therapist had been making great progress and he felt it was time to be more than the brawny guy in the chair.
So that lead to you taking over and eventually many girls nights full of red wine, cheese, and pillow talking. A slip of a wine-jaded tongue later and you were the first on the team to know of their love affair. Sometimes you desired to have that of your own, but life and fate, as Marcus would say, hadn’t given that to you yet.
“Good question, followed by an even better answer.’ Dorn sails and the screen changes and a new scene plays. “This is Moxy, a new club on the strip. It’s where Ramos Malik and his crew hang out. Rumor has it he’ll be there tonight, and we're going to bind him with a sting.”
Intrigued you stand. “You need me to make inconspicuous body cams, don’t you?’ You gasp and breath deeply, a smile spreading on your face. “God I love it when you guys want me to make inconspicuous body cams.”
Dorn coughs and Kelly looks off to the side, biting at her nails. Mike walks over slowly, slapping a hand onto both your shoulders.
“Now, we know how much our sweet little, non-violent, girl here loves to just stay in her lane and chill here while we get into all the bloody action.’ Mike massages your shoulders, displaying you off to the group like a fresh piece of wagyu. You scan the crew's faces—mischief, panic, fear—but the one that snipes you the most is the one of Armando Aretas. He sits perched on a table on the far side of the room, combat boot clad feet planted on a chair as his brown eyes pierce into you, sending tiny, invisible sparks flocking on your skin. You suck in a sharp breath and look away. He always stared, so why did it bother you now?
When your ears finally stop buzzing, you dial back into Mike's speech. “But this time, it’ll be different. You’ll be out in the field.”
As if you were just tased, you jut away from his grip. “What?”
“Ramos can sniff cops a mile away. It’s what makes him so good at what he does.’ Marcus cuts in. “He knows our faces, too. The only face he doesn’t know, is yours.”
You take another step back, heart racing, completely stupefied. “So you want me to go and trick that bastard…by myself?!”
“No! Never!” Mike says. “Armando will be with you.”
A clatter echos through the room, all eyes snapping to where Armando was sitting, the little black stool wobbling on the floor. “The fuck I will!” He growls.
Your eyes narrow and you jut your chin up. What the hell was he so mad for?
“Okay, son, calm down. It’s a simple sting operation. If you’re careful, it’s an in-and- out kind of thing.”
Armando circles close, and out of habit you cower behind the wall of Mike and Dorn. You may have a high IQ but you’re no match physically for anyone on this team, especially not Armando. You’ve seen what he can do countless times. He was the silent beast, he always just stared and hardly spoke. No matter how much you tried to warm up to him, make him feel accepted, you two just never clicked.
You thought it might just be his past, how he was manipulated by his father and lied to by his mother, that made him so closed off, but with the way fury rumbles off of him so strong right now, pushing you deeper into Dorn and Mike, it makes you think there’s more unspoken. And if so, what?
Caged between Mike and Dorn Armando finds your eyes again, scolding your cheeks hot with his glare. It was as if he needed you to not only hear his words but feel them too. “I’m not going on any mission with the princesa. All she does is type and sit in that fucking chair all day. It’ll be suicide.”
Mike takes his son's shoulder, massaging them similar to how he’d done your own. “She’s the only choice right now, okay? She’s just the arm candy to fill out the picture we’re setting for Malik, alright?”
For some reason his words— “just the arm candy?”and “the only choice right now,” —sting. You may not be skilled in the field or in combat, but you were vital to this team and you spent months trying to prove your strengths otherwise. When you first joined the team, everyone insisted on making you their baby bird, some wounded thing they needed to protect in a gilded cage. You were the new young and stary-eyed cop, and they are all jaded-old bags who need someone to shelter. It happened authentically and you still couldn’t shake the box they put you in. You aren’t helpless, you are capable and strong and maybe this is what you need, an opportunity outside to finally prove yourself.
“If he doesn’t want to do it, I’m sure there is someone else in the field we can find.’ A surge of confidence flushes through you as you push past the Mike-Dorn barricade, chin help up high with defiance as you brush past Armando. “Whatever the case, I’ll do it. I can do it. I’m capable Mike, so let’s see my cover.”
A smirk peels on Kelly’s face as she passes you your file. “Okay, Ms. Bad-ass. I’m loving this energy.”
Armando scoffs, planting himself next to you, his broad shoulders brush up against your frail ones. The slight gesture sends a hear through you. Quickly you scoot away, no need to sweat through a perfectly good cardigan over mean-ass Armando Aretas.
You flip through your file. You’ll be playing Jenna Combs. A twenty-six year old dancer and model who is the new girlfriend of—
“You hijos de puta’s got me playing myself?” Armando argues. “What kind of shit disguise is that?”
Dorn shrugs. “It’s not. That’s the point. The Aretas name is still feared and no one knows you’re in with the cops. It’s a pretty believable story, you need new armory and he can supply it.”
“Last anyone in this circles heard, you was killing cops and slinging a new dope empire. Just get em’ to confess to making this bullets and where he does it, so we can get em’ off the streets for good.” Marcus chimes in with a smile.
Armando’s grumbles a few curses under his breath before his attention turns and latches onto you. Suddenly you feel hot again, like a solar flares are swallowing you whole. Armando’s eyes rack over your form, slow and tentative.
His gaze latches onto your lips before he says, “And she’s supposed to be my date? Suicide mission.”
“For who? You or me? Because the way I see it, with your attitude you’ll be made in minutes.”
The gap between you and Armando closes in an instant. Your faces mere inches from each other. His cool breath trickles down the crest of your neck and frosts the tips of your ears when he whispers, “Careful when you speak to me, Princesa. You’ll be alone out there with me, and anything could happen to you.”
Was he…threatening you?
Your balls must have really dropped in the matter of minutes, because instead of keeping quiet and apologizing, like you normally would if you managed to anger Armando, you bite back.
“Stop calling me that.” You grit your teeth.
“¿Por qué, eh?’ Armando whispers, pulling back from you and taking a seat on a nearby stool. His eyes are drunk with a flavor you can’t distinguish. “Only princesas get to sit up in their castle all day, shielded, while everyone else goes out and does all the heavy lifting.”
“I never asked to be shielded!’ You stamp your foot, moving in on him with a swiftness. Armando invites your challenge with grace, folding his muscular arms slowly over his wide chest, watching you stalk nearer.
You don’t know how, but you find yourself in between him, his legs two thick gates around you. Where it should bother you, in the moment it doesn’t because It’s your turn to invade his space. In this moment, the great Armando Aretas doesn’t scare you.
You poke at his chest with each syllable. “Rather you like it or not, Aretas, this princesa is going on this sting with or without you, and I don’t give a shit what you think, not anymore. Cool?”
A small smirk pulls on his face as he peels your finger off his chest, the digit so small in his his hand, his movements making you keenly aware of your closeness.
“Cool.” He stands, boxing you in with his large build before brushing past you and walking out of the compound.
You watch as the last bits of daylight leave with him as the door slams closed. This confidence was like adrenal coursing through you and suddenly you felt tired and zapped, being strong is exhausting. You take a seat, pulling at a loose curl atop your head, thoughts burrowing into your mind like a splinter.
To this day, you couldn’t understand the hatred he had for you. In the begging, when Mike had negotiated a deal with the D.A’s office and the department to allow Armando to work for AMMO, not wanting his raw talents to go to waste, no one trusted him. But still, you gave him a chance, because you knew how it felt to be the underdog and you didn’t want the same for him. Still, in his own fashion, he warmed up to the others…but never to you. But maybe he was right, everyone else here has put so much of themselves of the line, risked it all for the greater good, and what have you done? Nothing. You haven’t saved anyone or changed a life. You’ve sat and watched from the comforts of the compound. Their eyes and ears, that’s all.
You push to standing and gather your file. You may not be the strongest, or fastest on the team, but you had strengths and you’d make use of them tonight for once, no matter what.
Suddenly snickers and chuckle fill the room, bouncing off the walls of your mind and bringing you back to the room glazed with the smell of oil and pinesol.
Marcus breaks through the laughter. “Next time you two want to engage in some foreplay, ask for the room first.”
Your skin nearly peels off at his words. You could burn alive right now.
You and Armando?
“Never would that ever happen.” You shiver at the thought of being with any man, let alone him.
Armando is a mean man. A mean man you suddenly have to trust you life with.
But if that’s the case. Why does your heart not fall to your feet at the thought?
###
“You’ve memorized your role, right?” Kelly asks, tightening the final fixings of your dress.
“Yes,’ you nod. “I’m Armando’s new girlfriend, Jenna. I don’t speak, I just sit quietly and listen. I shadow him, basically. Anything he does, I do.”
“Good girl.’ Kelly winks. “One last thing.’ She digs into her pockets before brandishing a small knife. “Here, just in case things go south.”
Your eyes widen and you nearly flinch. “I thought you and Mike said this was an easy in-and-out kind of deal.”
Kelly sighs. “Nothing like this is ever easy. All things have the potential to go south.’ She grabs your face in her hands. “I just want my girl safe, that’s all.”
Reluctantly, you accept the knife, shoving it into your purse. “What about Armando? Isn’t he supposed to protect me—I mean Jenna?”
“And he will,” Kelly assures. “But you can never be too sure.”
You nod. “Right, whose to say he won’t abandon me if shit oops off,” your snicker is laced with fear.
Kelly walks you out of the compound and toward the front where you’ll be meeting the rest of the team. “He won’t. Trust me.”
“He did allude to it early, Kels.”
Kelly rolls her eyes, stopping you and giving your curls one last fluff. “Aretas is all talk when it comes to you, don’t take him for a grain of salt.”
You frown. “What’s that supposed to be mean.”
Kelly smirks. “See for yourself.”
She steps out of the way and in the shinning exterior of Mikes Ferrari, you see yourself.
Do you look like a slut, yes, but nonetheless gorgeous.
Your curls are loose and defined, a cascade of shea butter and hibiscus around you. Your makeup is layered, yet light, elevating your high cheekbones, wide lips, and honey-brown eyes. And your plum colored dress pops against your warm-brown skin, somehow making even your thin body look full and figured.
You look fucking hot.
And for the first time in forever, you feel fucking hot.
Apparently you’re not the only one who thinks so as a whistle breaks loose in the yard.
“Goddamn girl!’ Mike claps. “If I wasn’t some old dog, I’d ask you on a date myself.”
“I’ll keep my comments to myself,’ Marcus smiles. “You know Theresa be listening.” He looks over his shoulders, head on a swivel.
“Dorn don’t say a word.” Kelly scolds her boyfriend, Dorn holds his hands up in defense.
“Staying silent.” He whimpers.
Your cheeks flush. “Stop, you guys.” You giggle. “This was all Kelly, besides you know I look better in a cardigan and jeans.”
“I agree.” A voice emerges from the darkness. A wide berth breaks before you as Armando strolls over.
Your throat goes dry and suddenly your head is dizzy with a feeling hard to explain, as you take him in.
He’s fresh with a new hair cut, faded low on the sides and thick, raven black up top. His beard is full and more manicured, enunciating the sharp cuts of his jaw.
He’s graced in a suit, black-on-black. The undershirt unbuttoned exposing much of his chiseled chest and the gold, cross necklace that dangles there. His suit jacket fits perfectly over the swells of his biceps and his pants expose every aching muscle in his thigh.
Like gravity, it’s hard to pull your eyes away from him. But somehow you become the void of space and manage to.
You can’t say the same for him though, because despite his insults that same burning, tingling sensation finds its way tip-toeing down your back and to the swell of your ass. One quick spin and you catch Armando’s eyes lifting from your backside to face you.
“I thought I looked better in a cardigan?” You say, breathing heavy.
Was he just? No…
Armando swings open the passenger door for you. “Get in.” He grumbles.
Not wanting to test his patience, you oblige, taking a step into the Farrier.
Armando closes the door behind you before climbing into the passenger side.
At the window, Mike approaches.
“Get in ask Ramos about the bullets, say you heard about them from word of mouth and you’re interested in them. You’ll pay top dollar. Once he confirms he can give them to you, we’ll move in. Got it?” Mike explains to Armando before turning his attention to you. “And for you, just be silent, pretty, and say nothing, okay?”
“Won’t be hard for her.” Armando grumbles as he starts the car.
You roll your eyes, ignoring his comment. “You guys will tail us, right.”
Dorn nods. “You should be fine though, you’ve got Armando.”
Armando reeves the engine, slowly idling off and away from your friends. And for some reason, when you whip off, you can’t help but wonder if he was right. This was a suicide mission, just not for him.
Fuck.
###
The drive is silent and smooth. You really could see why Mike insisted on such expensive cars, they rode well.
Your heel-clad feet tap against the bottom of the car, humming a tune in your head, making you realize just how much this ride needed some music.
Slowly, you turn to face Armando. His eyes are focused on the long road ahead, his jaw is clenched and he doesn’t seems to be paying you the slightest bit of attention.
As smooth as you can be you carefully lift your hand up and turn on the radio. Soon enough Ariana Grandes, The Boy is Mine, blasts from the radio.
You squeal and find a small groove with your fingers against your purse, humming the lyrics and bopping your head to the beat. The song is just reaching its second run through the chorus when the radio goes dead.
You turn, seeing Armando’s hand leaking from the controls. Annoyed, you give him a look before turning the radio back on, louder this time.
Armando’s jaw clenches tighter, like he might actually collapse through it with his bite force. He slams the radio off…again.
This time you don’t bite your tongue.
“Would you stop doing that!” You shout.
“No.”
“Why not? I was listening to that.”
“I don’t care. I need to focus.” Armando grumbles.
“Focus on what?”
“I don’t know, Princesa, making sure we both come out of this alive, because I damn sure can’t count on you to do that.”
His words bite, but if he wants to play a snake you have venom for him. “Why don’t you like me, huh? What have I ever done to you?” You hide.
Armando stays silent, his knuckles whitening as his grip strengthens on the steering wheel.
You snap at him. “I’m not talking to myself, Armando. Why do you hate me, huh?!”
“Cállte!” He shouts
You don't know much Spanish, but you’ve heard him say it enough to know it’s time to walk away from the conversation.
So you do, resting your head against the window seal, counting the number of streetlights you see flash and shimmer as you zoom by.
When you were younger your mother couldn’t afford fancy candles so she used a flashlight instead. You imagine the streetlights as just that, wishing that one day you’d know what you did to anger Armando so much.
Not soon enough, the car comes to a halt. The only sounds filling the cabin are those of Armando undoing his seatbelt.
Annoyed, you don’t even look at him as he speaks. All he’s done is tear you down in the past few hours, you’re done giving him the energy you need to conserve.
“When we go inside, don’t say a word. I don’t care how many questions he throws your way, you don’t say shit. Am I clear?”
Slowly, you turn towards him. Your mouth is scrunched and your eyes filled with no sympathy for the devil in front of you.
“Crystal.” You whisper, venom leaking off your tongue as you speak.
Armando’s chest rises and falls as he takes in your anger. He squeezes Mikes keys between his hands, and you you really do your best to ignore the heat that unfurls inside of you when he bites his plump lip between his teeth and runs a hand over his dark, full beard.
You adjust in your seat, because despite his constant cold front, It looks as if he has something to say. You wait in contemplating silence, the only sounds in the cabin being your breathing and Armando’s hesitant taps on the keys.
Part of you just wants to go in a get this over with and never speak to him again, but another part is desperate for him to say something meaningful to you. Something like the things you say to him before a mission.
“Don’t die.”
“Come back in one piece.”
“Be careful.”
“We should all have pizza when you come back.”
You knew how scary things could get on missions and you just wanted your team to know you were there, to take away even a slither of the darkness clouding them in that moment. And for your first time, you thought Armando might do the same—say something meaningful—but he doesn’t.
In a flash he’s out of the car, handing the keys over to valet, threatening them about what will happen if any scratches and dents are found.
You take in a deep breath and look down at the camera, disguised as a gold necklace resting above the cut of your breast.
“You guys getting all this?” You whisper, stepping out of the car.
“Do you mean Moxy, or your fight with Hotmando?” Dorn says over the earpiece.
You come to a halt. “Shit, I’m sorry guys. I’ll keep it professional, okay. From here on out, I won’t let him get to me…that’s not what’s important.”
“Good, get in and come back to us. I need my girl and our wine down Sundays.” Kelly says.
You smile, making your way over to wear Armando stands at the mouth of the nightclub, hoping he heard your words.
The sour look on his face as you walk through the door he holds open for you—sure to flip my hair as you do, giving him a nice taste of your leave in conditioner—tells you he certainly did, and perhaps he didn’t like what you had to say, but nonetheless…
He wont bother you anymore. Not tonight, at least.
Inside Moxy tore hit with a wave of a scent that nearly makes you gag—weed, sweat, and criminal activity. The club its self is large in scale, high ceilings with rope dancers stringing off the tops and flashing red and blue lights melting to make a purple haze over the club. Smoke and bubble guns are in constant effect and you’re pretty sure you can feel the bass of Wiz Khalifa’s Black and Yellow in your thoracic cavity.
From what you can see there are three floors, the first and second appear to be where the actual clubbing takes place. You watch the sweaty bodies corralled into dance floors, babbling nonsense either too drunk or too high for their own good.
But above, on the third, it is caged in and covered by glass. Yellow lights, different from the multi-colored ones below, remain at a halt and big , burly men with guns at their hips wander the halls. No doubt looking to take out any threat that comes for their boss—Ramos Malik.
“The glass. It’s bullet proof.” Armando says, eyeing the scene above, just as you do.
You would praise him for the impressive catch. But you’re Jenna now, and Jenna doesn’t speak.
“Any sign of Malik?” Mike asks.
“Not yet,’ Armando places a hand on the small of your back, making you flinch. “But we’re about to find out.”
Never moving his hands from your waist, Armando guides the two of you through the sweaty pillage of bodies and towards the elevators.
The ride up is quick, quiet. That’s not shocking. But what is shocking, as soon as the elevator comes to a screeching halt, Armando grabs your hand in his, completely engulfing your own with his size.
The burning sensation wraps up your wrist and shoots straight to your cheeks where you flush.
“What are you doing?” You gasps, trying to pull away. You did not sign up for this kind of role play.
Armando turns to look at you. “If you’re my girlfriend, we’ve got to play the part. Other than that you just look like someone who I brought out on a hit with me.” He squeezes your hand.
You suck in a deep breath at the motion, looking away.
“What’s wrong, princesa? This too much for you?” For a second, you thought he meant the fact that he was holding your hand, and in that case he wouldn’t be wrong, but soon enough the doors open and you shortly realize what he means.
The two burly men from early, dapper in black and white suits, wait outside the elevator, fingers in the triggers of their guns.
“Aretas.’ They nod, tuning your attention to you. “Whose this?”
“My girl, Jenna.” Armando says, gruffly.
One of the men nods, motioning you forward. You swallow, backing up a bit, hesitant on what to do.
Armando nudges you forward. “Esta bien bebe.”
You nod and walk towards them. They grab you up, calloused hands running up and down your body, and your pretty sure they linger to long on your untouchables on purpose.
Sweat begins to pile in your hands as a thought burst into your mind. What would happen if they found the knife Kelly gave you? She’d shoved it in a pretty good spot, but still, these guys were being thorough…and not in a good way.
You make eye contact with Armando as one of the guards continues to fill you up with what feels like excessive force.
In a blur, Armando pushes off the wall with his foot, slapping a hand on the guards shoulder.
“She’s clear, eh?”
The guard nods.
Armando grips his collar and pulls him in close. “The why the fuck are you still touching her, hm?”
The guard swallows, fear evident in his eyes.
“Just covering the bases, that’s all, sir.” He whimpers.
“Cover the bases again like that with my girl, and I’ll cut your fucking hand off and feed it to your other fat fuck of a friend.” Armando notions to the guard behind.
The guard nods and swallows, caressing his hand.
“The boss is this way,” he guides us with a motion.
Armando grips your hand once more, leading your down the long hallway.
“You okay?” He asks, holding his gaze forward.
You look up at him, even in heels he still manages to be taller than you. “Don’t pretend to care.” You scoff.
That makes him halt, conjoined with him you have no choice but to face each other. His mouth opens and closes like a fish, yet no words come out.
You roll your eyes, looking past his shoulders. Inside the bright room, you can see a shadow of Ramos. “Let’s just get this over with.” You say.
Armando’s gaze lingers on your longer than you’d like, giving you the shivers despite the fire leaking off him.
Soon enough, he pushes open the door and you follow behind him.
The room is small, club girls linger around either serving drinks or being felt up on. Ramos’s men, stand at each corner of the room searching for the next threat to their boss. Luckily they haven’t figured it is you yet.
“Armando Aretas,” Ramos claps his hands, jumping off of the white couch he’s sat on.
He stalks over, cigar between his lips, and you take him in. He is nowhere near as stalky as Armando, and his curly blonde hair is put up into a bun, exposing the undercut beneath. You can’t catch the colors of his eyes because they are covered by dark, Fendi shades.
His business definitely makes money, and lots of it. His three piece black and burgundy suit screams it all.
“To what do I owe such great pleasures?” He bows, lifting your hand up and placing a kiss on the back. “That goes for you too, sugar.”
Armando squeezes your hand a bit tighter at the pet name. You want to bite back and tell him to go easy, but you’re on stage now, and for your own safety and his, it’s best if you don’t break the act.
“I’m in the business of buying something from you. Streets are hot down in Mexico right now, and I need to establish some new territories…with a little force.” Armando says smoothly, sometimes you forget he was a hardened criminal not too long ago.
Ramos clicks his tongue between his teeth. “Ah. Come sit.” He motions you two over to one of his coaches.
“Good job. Keep em’ talking.” Mike says over the coms.
Armando takes a seat across from Ramos and you do the same.
A chuckle leaves Ramos’s lips. “I don’t think your pet likes you very much,” he motions to the space between you two.
Armando smacks his lips. “Nonsense. Ven aquí, bebé.”
You swallow and scoot towards him. When you’re close enough, in one swift moment, Armando’s slips you in his lap, running a rough hand up and down the exposed parts of your thigh, sending shivers down your spine and goosebumps all over your body.
What the hell was happening.
Ramos chuckles, pouring himself and Armando a drink. He pushes it across the glass table, just out of reach.
Armando gives your ass a light slap, you turn and flare your nose, giving him your best “don't push it,” it glare.
He ignores it.
“Tráeme eso, mamá.” He says, motioning towards the glass.
You pick up the tumbler, suddenly realizing what he’s playing at. Ramos is watching because he isn't convinced. So you suck up your pride and do some convincing.
You grip Armando by his chin, rubbing the pad of your thumb in circles over his gruff beard before putting the glass against his lips, assisting him as he drinks.
Never once do his eyes leave you as he swallows the amber liquid, and the shivers that were once in your spine travel lower, much lower. You have to blink away the awful, dirty thoughts of you being in place of the glass out of your mind as you swipe away the spillage off his beard and plump, pink lips.
When you turn, Ramos’ shoulders drop and his smile is so wide it’s nearly reckless.
“So you’re in the business of buying my most popular product from me?”
“That’s right.” Armando says, a hand still caressing you slow and smooth.
“I am curious, though,’ Ramos takes a swig of his drink. “How did you hear about it?”
Armando shifts, the movement forcing you closer to his center. Your eyes go wide as saucers, your new position doing nothing for the growing pain massing within your heat.
“I’m an Aretas. Nothing in the streets goes past my ears…nothing.” Armando's confidence radiates off of him.
“Very well,” Ramos chuckles. “Let’s establish two parameters of this deal, then. One, you pay me before I give you any product. Two, you get caught with my product, you don’t tell a soul who you the fuck got it from. Sounds good?” He smiles.
Armando nods. “Just one thing,’ his hands enclose over your hips, sliding you off to the side, as he leans forward. “How do you make them? The bullets.”
Ramos frowns. “Why? You trying to steal my swag or something, Aretas?”
Armando chuckles. “Nah, just curious.”
“Feed his ego, he’s going to talk.” Kelly says.
“I mean, they're sharp, large, fast, quiet. It’s impressive. I just want to know how you do it before I invest any of my money into it.” Armando leans back, arms spread in a wide arch on the back of the couch.
“In our world now, with a little money, the right connections, and a fuck ton of fortitude, anything you can think of is a possibility.’ Ramos says, lighting another cigar. “It’s rare and hard to get everything right. But if you really want to know how I do it,’ he leans in, voice dropping to a whisper.
Armando does the same, you make the conscious effort not to. Instead you play with your necklace, making sure the camera catches his face and his face only when he confesses.
“It’s a three—,”
A sudden buzz swallows the conversation whole, swirling it down the dirty sink it had come up from. The buzz echoes once more before you realize where it comes from…your purse
Fuck.
Ramos straightens, likes a dog on guard, eyeing you fiercely. Your chest rises and falls with a weight heavier than gravity as your ringtone continues to blare out for everyone to hear.
Ramos licks his lips, like he’s hungry for what comes next. “Well don’t be shy, Ms. Jenna, answer the phone.”
You swallow and tuck a curl behind your ear. “I don’t think that’s appropriate right now. Let’s just finish up the deal—“
In a blur of fury, Ramos stands brandishing a gun, pointing it right at your chest.
“Make you perra answer the fucking phone, or I put holes in you both.”
“Answer the phone,” Mike calls to you. “Do what he asks.”
Armando gives you a cautious look as you slip your phone out of your purse. Your fingers are shaking, so answering takes a few tries but when you finally do get it, you see that it’s your sister calling.
“Make sure it’s on speaker too.” Ramos demands, clocking his gun.
You inhale deeply, press the speaker button, then answer, “Hey, sister, this isn’t really a good time.”
“Hey, I know you’re probably working late and all, but this is kind of important. My routers are not really working and I have a date with that guy, David, I told you about and I really need my tv to work.” She explains.
You bite your lip and lick the sweat that forms around them. “Have you tried turning your tv on and off again? You know I’m not really a whiz at that tech stuff.”
A pause, then your sister erupts in laughter. “Girl, are you high?’ She laughs. “You’ve been messing with wires and the internet since we were kids. That’s the whole reason twelve wanted you anyways”
Your hear sinks the moment she says those words, you hang up because the last thing you want is for your sister to hear you die.
“Well fuck me, Jenna, I’ll be damned.” Ramos growls, pushing his gun into your skull.
You pierce your eyes shut, brace for the burning impact of the bullet and pray for a quick death.
But it never happens, instead in a swift motion Armando pushes you off to the side causing you to collapse onto the ground. He makes a quick sweep of his leg, sending Ramos crashing onto his ass and the bullet that was meant for you soaring up and hitting the rafters, lodging into some wood.
Your breath is heavy as you watch all out war unfold before you. Armando takes on five men at once. The first man takes two tumblers over the head and one shard of glass to the neck, scarlett liquid oozing from the wound before he drops like dead weight beside you.
You let out a scream, backing away from the scene that moves like a riptide before you.
“Get out of there, now!” Kelly screams in your ear.
“I—I can’t just leave him!” You shout back.
“You have no training! We’re coming in, go, now!” Mike yells.
You gather yourself, undoing your heels, still watching Armando skillfully take out guys and keep clear of the gunshots that ring in the tiny room. You watch as he dropkicks one man, then shoots him in the face before stalking over to another man, dishing out a few punches, before finally gutting him with a knife.
He’s still on the move when you finally slip out of your heels. More of Ramos’s men are filing in and the fight expands,moving from the small room you were just in into the hallway where any innocent person could be hurt.
Unlike most times you weren’t in your gilded chair. You were in the field and you would help as many people as you could. So, you don’t think, you let the adrenaline cloud you as you bound down the hallway in hopes to get back downstairs and direct clubbers from the chaos.
Setting the golden elevator in your sites, you push faster. People below were already screaming, running wild. Who knows what could happen? How many people could be trampled and hurt. This only fuels you, quickening your stride. You nearly make it but a gunshot slows you, and the body of a bleeding girl drops before you, putting you into a full halt.
“Oh my god,” your voice is breathy and shaky.
“Why are you still in there!” Dorns’ voice becomes a far void as you rip at the bottom of your dress and use the fabric to compress her wound.
Two gunshots to the chests. The girl, who can’t be any older than yourself, gurgles blood which sprays onto her porcelain skin and leaks into her brown hair, sticking strands to the marble floor.
The girl coughs, sending blood splattering onto the side of your face, and claws at your arms, streaks of crimson standing out against your brown skin.
She murmurs, but it’s hard to hear.
You press deeper into her wounds. “Shh, it’ll be alright,’ You tell her “guys, I need a medic on the third floor when you get here. She’s…she’s in really bad shape.” You whimper.
The girl whines again, her eyes open and closing in two second intervals.
she raises her arm pointing a shaking finger in the direction behind you.
You wipe your eyes, blood no doubt trailing on your face now.
“What?” You croak. “What is it?” You turn around and see Ramos Malik limping over to you, a large knife in his hand.
You stand, putting distance between him, yourself and the girl.
“You’re a real bitch, you know that?’ An injured Ramos says, limping toward you with his knife pointed. “Trying to get me caught up in some trap, but you weren’t even smart enough to shut off your phone!” He screams, lunging at you with the knife.
You tumble backwards, your back and head hitting the marble floor with the weight of you both. You cry out as pain sears through you, especially your hand.
It takes you a moment of readjusting to the bright lights and sounds to realize why. You caught the fucking knife in your hand.
You scream, as Ramos pulls it from your palm in a slice. Your hand open and bleeding, you cry out and roll away from another vicious attack by Ramos.
He growls and lunges at you again, grabbing a tuft full of your curls. You beat at his legs with your good hand, squirming in his grip. He pulls at your hair, making you scream, lowering his knife to your neck, pressing inward.
You let out an animalistic scream, pressing your thumb into the oozing wound on his leg. He screeches, falling to his knees.
Wasting no time, you crawl away.
You think you’ve gotten far enough.
You rise up on your knees and push the elevator button, but the cold hand on your ankle snatches you back.
You claw at the marble floors, leaving a trail of blood, as Ramos drags you like a rag doll. He stops, flipping you over and planting his weight on top of you.
You flail, kicking the ground and scratching at his face, desperate for him to let go. But he doesn’t. Instead, he cages you with his legs and wraps both hands around your neck, applying so much pressure that your vision blurs.
Under his grip, your breaths become distant and faint. Your muscles relax, and your eyes bulge. Turning your head to the side, you can barely make out the flashing blue and red lights from outside.
The team is here. But you're not sure they'll find you in time because Ramos is relentless, and the air in your lungs is vanishing. Your skull feels like it’s being crushed, the pressure intense.
You feel yourself slipping away, losing focus on your surroundings. Ramos moves your head to face him, and he’s a mass of incoherent clouds above you, the only clear thing are his dark, empty eyes.
“Look at me, baby. I like my victims to look at me before they die,” he growls, spit slipping from his mouth. “I hope Aretas finds you like—”
Ramos drops, and oxygen rushes back into your lungs like a clap of thunder.
You shudder on the ground, scraping at your neck and slapping your chest.
Warm hands engulf your cheeks, and it takes a minute for the blur to leave your vision. When it does, you see Armando before you, a smoking gun at his side.
“¿Estás bien, mamá?”
His voice barely registers before oxygen slips from your lungs again, and you slump over, hitting the ground.
Armando scoops you up, and even though it should be a relief, you can’t help but be saddened by the way your team jumps over the girl you couldn’t save.
Darkness swallows you whole as your team swarms you and Armando.
###
“The stitches will dissolve on their own in time as your wound heals itself.’ Kelly says, tightening the last of the bandages on the hand Ramos had sliced.
“Thanks, Kelly.’ You smiled softly, rubbing at the soreness that still lingered all over your body, especially your neck.
Ramos and his men had been arrested, not on the charges the team had planned, but still, getting him locked away for attempted murder of a police officer and soliciting drugs would have to be good enough for now.
Kelly rubs your shoulders, a soft sigh leaving her lips. “I’m really sorry this happened to you,’ she says, eyeing your injuries, the bandages on your knees and hands, the purple-ish bruise on your neck, and the small scratches and scrapes all over your body. You definitely weren’t as hot as you were that night.
“It’s okay.” You smile. “I’m still here, so.” You shrug.
“You were brave that night, saving that girl. We’re all so proud of you.” Kelly says.
You shake your head. “But I didn't save her, Kels. She died. Right there, she bled out.’ Tears start to rim your eyes as the memories of the girl and her blood in your hands flare in your mind. “Fuck,” you cover your eyes with your palms. “I could hardly save myself that night…if it wasn’t for Armando, I’d be dead.”
You sniffle, taking a seat on a nearby stool. “I’m not cut of for the field, and I don’t think I should ever do it again.”
Kelly swarms you. “No. Don’t say that.’ She shakes her head. “We’ve all been there, helpless, but that’s why we’re a team. We cover each other's six when shit gets rough. So don’t feel bad, we won’t let you.”
You nod slowly, trying to let her words penetrate your soul so that you could really believe them. But right now, you couldn’t. You put everyone at risk because you made a rookie mistake by leaving your phone on.
You were to blame for all the carnage, all the bloodshed and chaos.
Armando was right, it was a suicide mission. And it was all your fault.
Kelly’s phone ringing thrusts you out of your thoughts.
She reads the screen number and looks at you. 'I got to go,’ she motions. “But if you need me, call me, seriously.”
You nod and wave her goodbye. You turn and fully expect to hear the compound's heavy, steel doors slam shut and lock, but they never do.
On high alert you turn and meet eyes with Armando. He’s in his typical black on black, head to toe. The only thing different about him is the white bandage covering the bulge of his arm.
You try not to stare too hard at the way his black shirt clings to his body, flexing every taunt muscle as he strides down the steps and towards you with a force.
Refocusing, you work on the project at hand—Dorns broken drone. You mesh wires together and a spark comes alive, something like the sparks you feel when Armando takes a seat next to you, leaving up against the steel work table.
“So that’s it, eh?” He says, staring at you. “Gonna ignore me.”
You keep fussing with your wires. “Not sure there is much to say.”
Armando chuckles bitterly. “I’m sure I could find some words. How about we start with, lo siento or soy un maldito idiota.”
You slam down your tools and turn to face him, fire blazing in your eyes. “I don’t even know what the fuck you just said.” You growl.
Armando stands, towering over you. “I’d be happy to translate for you, princesa. It means you fucked up and cost alot of people their lives.”
You flinch at his words, more reality of your mistake clouding over you. “You don’t think I know that? I’ve regretted my mistake every night when I cry myself to sleep because all I can see is that girl's face.
Your voice wavers. “Her blood.”
“If you feel like that then you should have listened to me when I told you that mission was suicide.” He growls.
“Fuck you.” You spat, walking away.
Armando catches your forearm, pulling you back towards him. “I’m not done, so don’t walk away from me.”
“Let me the hell go!” You try jerking from his grip but it’s no use, you’re stuck, stuck taking his abuse.
“No, you need to know that it was your fault out there. That your place is in the chair,’ he motions to your desk behind you. “You can’t handle the field, you’re not built for it.”
The need to prove him wrong boils in your gut causing you to lift your hand and swing it out towards Armando’s face.
Bad idea.
He catches your arm with ease and now both your limbs are in his hands. You try to snatch away, but Armando keeps you steady, pulling you closer until the two of you are breaths away from each other.
The heat in your chest spreads like wildfire as you watch Armando’s eyes linger on your bruised lips, then trailing down slowly to your hands and legs, accessing all your injuries as if they matter to him.
“Besides,’ he trails on, his index finger glazing cautiously over the ring bruise on your neck. “If it wasn’t more me out there, princesa, you’d be dead.”
“I didn’t think…”
“That’s the point,’ Armando holds you steady. “You didn’t think, and you not using your head almost got you killed. And if you would have died I—.”
There's a quivering pause in Armando’s voice, his eyes slam shut tight. You don’t know what to make of this, one second he hates you and the next he cares if you’re dead or not. Armando is a mystery you’re too tired to decode.
You jerk from his grasps once more and this shocks his eyes back open.
“Are you done?” You manage to say.
Armando licks his lips, slowly releasing you from his grasp.
“I’m done,’ he says, backing away from you.
You hold onto the steel table for support, the scorch of his touch slowly fleeting.
You hear the steel door crack open and turn to watch him leave, but he’s halted at the precipice, “One last thing, stay in the chair next time. It’s where you belong.”
With that he leaves, the steel door slamming shut and your confidence crumbling down.
You tried your hardest to not let Armando affect you, but he does. His words cut you deeper than Ramos’s knife. Maybe he was right, maybe you should just stay in the chair. But what if there was another time they needed you in the field? Could you just say no without feeling immense guilt? Probably not.
So when you write your resignation and leave it on your desk and walk away from the compound, you do it because you can’t stand to see the people you care about get hurt, all because you’re not a good enough cop.
###
“Okay, seriously! Are you really going to be that stupid and go back into the house where you know the killer is! Come on Noah!” You shout at your television screen.
It’s been a week since you put in your resignation and the amount of discourse behind it has resulted in you shutting off your phone and locking yourself inside, watching shitty horror movies to pass the time.
Because if you step foot outside, you’ll be mobbed by friends from the department and your friends from AMMO who, to say the least, weren’t happy about your resignation.
All but one.
Not that he mattered anyway.
They all hated that you quit, saying you needed to come back immediately and talk this out. But you couldn’t.
How could you face them when you were such a coward and created all that chaos? They worked so hard to save lives and keep order and you did nothing but fuck shit up.
It was time to jump ship before someone else got hurt in the crossfires of your neglect.
The thought pushes you deeper into your plush green couch that sits far back into your home, well renovated garage. But hey, Miami is expensive, and this place was renting out, so you just renovated it. A little love all around and it became an actual home.
You let loose a small smile looking around, the walls, once bare and industrial, now are splattered with a lively palette of bright yellows, deep blues, and playful greens. They are decorated with framed posters of all the things you love: vintage video games, classic sci-fi movies, and beloved comic book covers, each one a nod to your past. Strings of fairy lights crisscross the ceiling, casting a soft, whimsical glow that contrasts beautifully with your high-gear equipment scattered throughout.
Your floor is a patchwork of colorful rugs, each with its own story. Some are intricately patterned, those are the ones your parents gifted you, while others are simple yet bold, adding a splash of color to the room. Together, they might be your favorite part of the whole place, just because they keep your bare feet warm on lazy nights like these.
In one corner, a plush, oversized bean bag chair sits next to a low coffee table cluttered with all your retro memorabilia – old gaming cartridges, Rubik's cubes, and a couple of well-worn graphic novels.
The heart of your home garage is the tech haven. Your large, custom-built desk stretches along one wall, supporting your impressive army of monitors in various sizes. High-end computers hum quietly, their cases glowing with neon lights. Cables and wires, though numerous, are neatly organized, snaking their way through the room in an orderly fashion.
Shelves above and around the desk hold a treasure trove of tech gadgets and components – everything from VR headsets and drones to soldering kits and spare parts. A 3D printer sits in a place of honor, its latest creation still cooling on the print bed.
Your home made you feel complete, but still after you quit you do feel a little empty. You miss the small talks at work, the laughter, the bickering, the teasing. It just wasn’t the same alone. But again, it was for the best, because if there is one thing you know—keeping your family safe is the most important thing, above all.
And you’d hate to be their reckoning.
Flipping open your laptop you continue to scroll through your job search.
“What do you think, Chester?’ You say to your golden retriever. “Tech support job? Or maybe we go dark and get into hacking for higher companies.”
Chester whines, fidgeting in his spot next to you.
“You’re right, no going bad. Tech support it is.’ Chester rummages around a bit more before springing over your coach, darting towards the door. “Hey, I can work from home with this one!” You say.
Chester’s barks ring out, bouncing off the walls relentlessly.
You stand and make your way over to what’s got him so riled up. At the door, you bend down and pet him, still doing nothing to soothe his barks.
“Chessy, what’s wrong, huh?” You grab his collar, pulling him towards the door and opening it.
You stick both your heads out the door, turning them left and right, the only thing you see and hear is darkness and the bad storm slamming outside. You pull back inside and Chester sticks to you like glue. “See, nothing to worry about.’ You squat down to love on your dog, who's growling like crazy right now. “We aren’t like Noah, we don’t go into scary houses for fun. We’re safe here, Ramos is gone. ” You pat his head, but that only makes him bark more.
“Chester, enough already.” you stand, moving towards the kitchen and getting yourself a glass out of the cabinet, flicking on the sink, and filling it with water.
Your just about to take a sip when a loud crack of lighting explodes, illuminating your dark house, revealing a cloaked figure behind you.
You scream and drop your cup, shards exploding on the ground around your feet. Chester is in a full on frenzy right now, and rightfully so. Could this be Ramos’s men, did he send them to finish you off?
“You’re one crazy bitch, you know that?”
“Look at me, baby. I like my victims to look at me before they die.”
You scrape at your neck, the tender bruise making you hiss as if the pressure of Ramos choking you has never left.
The figure steps forward and you screech, ripping a butcher knife from your kitchen sink, and pointing it at them.
“Back the fuck up!” You scream. “I’m a fucking cop!” You take wobbly steps back, watching Chester go up the figure and sniff them…then roll over?
Chester by no means is an aggressive dog, but he loves you, and if he sensed you were in danger he’d protect you with his life. So when he begins to receive pets from the intruder, you lower your knife.
“Kelly?” You say, she knows Chester, you’ve brought him to the compound many times before, but she’s the only one on your team who has a key to your place.
The figure doesn’t answer, they just move over to the corner of the kitchen, flipping on the light.
Your shoulders drop the moment you see his thick beard and warm-brown skin peeking from underneath his black hoodie.
Armando.
“How the fuck did you get in?” You cross your arms over your chest.
Armando shrugs off his jacket, tossing it onto your kitchen stools. “It’s not exactly a place with state of the art security.”
“I could have killed you, Chester too.”
Armando snickers. “You and your pooch wouldn’t have done a thing.”
You grumble, crossing the kitchen landscape and moving towards the coaches. “What do you want, you're interrupting my movie night.”
Armando follows, hot on your trail. “I can see that. By the way, is that hello kitty on your pajamas?”
You look down and groan. Of course you’d be wearing something totally embarrassing when your least favorite ex-coworker breaks into your house.
“Stop switching the subject. Why are you here?”
Armando rustles in his pocket before pulling out a paper and shoving it into your hands.
You’re careful to unfold it because there is rain damage from the storm, but when you get it open, despite the smooshed ink on the page, you see it’s your resignation letter.
“Okay, and?” You shrug.
“Okay, and, take it back.” He says.
You chuckle. “You’re joking, right. Like you have to be joking.”
Armando’s face is straight. “I’m not.”
You plop down on your couch. “I’m not taking it back, I'm already looking at different jobs.”
A scoff leaves his lips. “So that’s it, eh? You’re just going to run away.”
You close your eyes and let out a deep sigh. “Weren't you the one who told me I should quit?”
“I never said that. I said you needed to stay in the chair, and still, you did the opposite of that.” He says.
You stand. “What’s the point of saying I’m a cop, if I don’t actually save people. You said that entire night was on me, so I backed away from the situation and now you’re mad?”
Armando sits quietly for a moment, tapping his leg against the ground. “I never said quit.”
“It doesn’t matter what you said. I did what I felt I needed to do.”
Armando scoffs, turning in his seat. “Yeah I can see that, real egoísta if you ask me.”
You stand, marching over towards the kitchen. “You know I have no clue what you’re saying.”
Armando turns, follows you, taking a seat at the bar. And before you know it, just like that compound before, you're caged between his legs.
“I called you selfish.”
You let out a gasp. “How the hell am I selfish?”
“Because you left the team!”
“I left the team to keep everyone safe! Not because I’m selfish!”
“We're safe! And we’ll be safer knowing that you’re safe, too, especially with some of Ramos’s associates still out there! I—we need to keep tabs on you.”
You stumble back. “What?’ You swallow. “Are you telling me my life is in danger? That Ramos will send people after me?”
“It’s a possibility we’re considering,’ Armando says, his eyes never leaving you as you sit across from him. “But if you come back to work we can keep you safe.”
“And what’s to say they won’t come for me any other time?” You croak. “Being in that compound doesn’t guarantee my safety.”
Armando rubs a slow hand over his face. “But I can.” He says, hardly above a whisper.
“You. Protect me?”
“Why is that so far-fetched?” He says.
“Armando, you hate me.”
“You keep putting words in my mouth, princesa, and I don’t like it.”
“I’m not putting words in your mouth. It’s just, actions speak louder.’ You shrug. “Ever since you got into AMMO, we’ve been the least close out of everybody. No matter how hard I tried, we just never connected. So yes, I’m sorry if I find you putting yourself on the line for me, unprovoked, a little hard to believe.”
Armando stands, his frame opposing against yours. He lifts his shirt and you hiss at what you see. Bandages, dried blood, and purple bruises litter his torso.
You look away but he catches your chin with his thumb, pulling your attention back to him.
“I wouldn’t put myself on the line for you,’ he said, pulling his shirt back down. “I already fucking did.”
“I never asked you too.” You mutter, looking away ashamed that you caused that.
“You didn’t have to.’ He sighs. “I couldn’t stand to see you get hurt.”
“What?” You turn, slow tears building, blurring your vision now.
“I didn’t want you to go out there because, as much as I try to hide it, I care about you.” Armando says, hot brown eyes melting into you.
You blink, stalling and stepping back. Armando…cares about you? Those two things shouldn’t even be in conjunction and your brain can’t process that they are.
The man in front of you has never been anything but harsh towards you, now he comes to your home in the middle of the night begging you to come back to work and confessing his feelings for you.
You truly must be dreaming…this can’t be real. Not that you’d be mad if it was. Despite all your bickering and misunderstandings, you still held a soft spot for Armando. You could see he was trying to be a better person, a more open person, regardless of his flaws.
And there were moments when he was kind to you, like opening doors for you, walking side by side with you to your car late at night, never forgetting to get your lunch along with the teams if you couldn’t make it. You knew he had a nice side to him and that’s why you showed him yours time and time again. Showed him it was okay to be vulnerable, but now he is, truly is, and you can’t even compute it.
“Why would you say something like that?” You swallow, something weird stirring inside of you, making you step closer towards him.
Armando does the same, closing the gap between you two. “Say what, princesa? The truth.”
You don’t mean to, but you whimper as the nickname leaves his lips. You look down, heat flushing in your cheeks. “Please don’t call me that.”
Armando scoops your chin with his index finger, your eyes latching and twinkling under the soft glow of your house's lights. “¿Por qué? no puedo manejarlo.”
“No.” You breath, studying every bridge and sharp angle of his face. This close, his beauty is unbelievable.
Armando’s thick, kept beard, is just as dark as his hair. His brown eyes are surrounded by a shade of full lashes, and his plump pink lips, glistening in the soft light. Armando Aretas was hard to resist and that’s why you feel yourself falling closer into him.
Like your mind is on autopilot, your hands fall to his chest, resting there and feeling every muscle he’s worked so hard for.
“I can see that.” Armando smirks. “I can also see that you care for me, too.”
“I—,”
“Want me to show you how I know?” He whispers, lips touching your ear and making you gasp.
You nod. There was no point in resisting him at that moment. Not that you wanted to either.
In one swift motion, Armando bends down and then you're airborne. His hands rest underneath your thighs as he carries you to your bedroom.
Walking over, your eyes never leave each other. You open your mouth to speak as a thought holds you captive.
“Is this why you said all those mean things? To discourage me because you didn’t want me to get hurt?” You ask, caressing his face in your hands.
Armando leans into the touch, nodding his head just as you two pass through the door of your bedroom.
He sets you down gently and you cling your arms around his neck.
“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” You ask.
Armando’s hands encircle your waist as he sighs. “I didn’t know how. I was just so angry that they’d even ask you to do something like that anyway.”
“And you were angry because you liked me?”
Armando nods.
“And when I was pretending to be Jenna…were you acting then, too?”
Armando chuckles, biting his lip, you look away to keep from melting. “You mean when I smacked your ass? I might have taken advantage of the situation then.”
You hit his chest and laugh. “I can’t believe you. That’s a violation!”
Armando leans in close. “I’d be happy to violate you some more, princesa.”
You chuckle lightly and wither out of his grip, taking a seat on the bed.
Armando frowns, sitting next to you. “What’s wrong? Was it something I sa—,”
“No. It’s fine. It’s just…I’ve never actually been with anyone before.”
Armando stills. “Oh. I was just joking with you,” he stands. “I can leave.”
Quickly, you grab his wrist, pulling him back. “No. I don’t want you to.’ You stand, taking his face in your hands and pulling him close. His lips are inches from yours and you can feel his nose brush against yours. “I want you to show me, just like you said.” You moan, placing your lips onto his.
Armando shutters, placing a hand on the nape of your neck. He opens his mouth, swiping his tongue over the bottom of your lips, asking for entry. You oblige and he slips inside, turning the kiss hot and fierce.
Armando swallows every moan you release, gripping your hips and pushing you back against the bed, his weight gently hovering on top of you.
He uses his legs, he spreads you open, you gasp at the motion allowing him access to your neck.
Like a man starving, Armando attacks your neck with hot-trailed kisses, lingering sucks and suckles, and licks that drive you wild, the heat between your legs pulsing now with desire.
“Fuck,’ you gasps and he palms over one of your breasts, sucking on the tender spot beneath your ear.
“Te gusta ese, bebe?” Armando whispers against your skin.
You shake your head “Yes.” You whimper.
Armando leans back, pulling at your top. “Let’s get this off of you, eh?”
You sit up just enough, allowing him access to pull the fabric off of you.
In a flash he peels your shirt off of you, leaving you bare in front of him.
Impulse has you covering yourself, but Armando reaches out, slowly moving your arms away from your chest.
“Don’t hide from me, mama.” He says, eyes darkening when he finally has a full view of your boobs.
“Mierda, you’re so beautiful baby.” He moans.
You shutter as he talks one breast in his hands, rubbing circles with it, while the other he latches his plump lips onto, sucking at your nipples.
The sensation causes your head to snap back and a deep, repressed moan to fly from your lips. Armando was doing the lords work with both his hand and tongue.
You squirm, squeezing your legs together and stimulating your spot, making your pants leak with want.
You had never had to opportunity to be with a man before, but in this moment you wanted nothing more than to fuck Armando.
“Fuck me,” you moan out. “Please.”
Armando chuckles, the sensation against your nipple makes you hiss. “Estás tan impaciente, princesa.’ He smacks your ass. “But eh, if that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll get.” He smirks, pushing you down against the bed.
He hovers on top, snatching his shirt off. All of his rippling muscles on display before you. You bite your lip at the site, hoping to see more and soon.
“If you want me to fuck you, will have to get rid of these, no?” He pulls at the strings of your pajama bottoms.
You nod, eager to have him inside of you.
In a blur, Armando pulls off your pants, tossing them to the side.
If you thought you saw darkness in his eyes when he saw your boobs, the look he has now is nothing in comparison. His eyes are nearly pitch black as he takes in what is soon to be his.
Armando spreads open your legs, hissing once he gets a glimpse at your glistening cunt.
You moan just at the thought of bearing it all in front of him.
“God, fuck.” He says, pulling down his pants and revealing a surprise of his own that makes you gasp.
Though covered in boxers, you can see just what he was working with. And to say the least, he was huge, and thick.
“Come here, baby.’ He moans, pulling you by your thighs to the edge of the bed. “Let me taste you.” He says.
You watch as Armando’s head lowers between your legs and the second his mouth touches your pussy, you fell back into the bed.
His mouth makes quick work of you, versing between sucking on your clit and licking your slit in a rhythm that builds a euphoria inside your gut.
The force of his tongue against your pussy and the pressure of his lips wrapped around your swollen clit has your back arching and screaming out.
Your toys had nothing on Armando.
“Please,” you whimper and try to squirm, but Armando holds you in place, slapping your ass twice as hard as a repercussion.
With each pass of his tongue, circling arcs on your pussy you can feel yourself climbing to the edge. Armando must feel it too because he puts the cherry on top when he sinks a thick finger inside of you.
“Oh my—ugh!”
You’re a whimpering, whining mess. The sheets beneath you turning a new shade of green as you soak them with your slick.
Armando adds another finger in for good measure only adding to the build up in your stomach. Each pump, suck, and lick causes a buckle to snap inside of you and a high only the man eating you out right now can give you is climbing.
You reach higher, and higher. Your orgasm just around the bend.
One last pump and suck, and you come undone, all over Armando’s face.
Armando comes back up from the floor, crawling over top of you. With the little moonlight that shines into your bedroom you can see yourself covering his beard, droplets of cum covering most of it.
“Taste yourself for me.” He growls, lowering his lips into yours.
You latch on and a sweet, yet neutral, flavor slips onto your lips as you and Armando kiss in a harmonious rhythm.
You never let go from his grasps as your hand travels down. You grab a hold of his massive, bulging cock.
Armando hisses and whimpers as you begins to stroke it with a various pressures: soft, hard, slow, the soft again. He shutters above you, his faces desperate and pleading.
“You’ll make me come like that.’ He breaths, gripping your hands. “I thought you were a virgin?”
“I am,’ you hiss, still squirming. “But I think it’s a bullshit construct. I’m still highly sexual,’ you say, pulling at his cock, bringing it forth. “And I want to be highly sexual with you.”
Armando bites his lips, pulling you into his lap. “Eres un problema, princesa.”
“I know,” you say, kissing him once more.
You rock back and forth, feeling his cock press against your needing pussy. The pressure making you both shake in anticipation.
Armando breaks the kiss. “Do you have a condom?”
You shake your head. “No, but I’m on birth control.”
He nods. “Good, you’re going to need it.”
He flips you over so that he is on top. Finally, he reaches down and slips out of his boxers, his cock, thick, long and full, springs to life and you can’t help but moan. Your pussy is aching with the need to be filled.
Armando spreads your legs open, angling the tip of his cock with your pussy’s pulsing entrance.
“Are you sure about this, baby?” He asks.
“I’m sure. Now fuck me, please.”
Armando obeys, slowly slipping his cock inside of you.
You hiss at the burning, stretching pain, digging your nails into his back as he pushes in, your pussy swallowing him inch by inch.
“Mm,” you croak.
Armando stops. “Are you okay?” He shakes
You grip at his ass, forcing him inside deeper, despite the burn you’re desperate to feel all of him. “Don’t stop.” You moan. “Please keep going.”
Armando pushes in further and deeper, tearing you open, until you’re fully stretched and he’s reached the depths of your ocean.
You two stay still for a moment, him allowing you time to adjust to the new stretching sensation and his size.
You lean up to kiss him. He deepens it, molding his mouth to yours, before slowly moving.
You moan, holding onto him as he picks up the pace, thrusting into you faster.
You can feel the pain melting into pleasure the more he pounds into you.
Harder and faster you begin to feel yourself loose control, your euphoria coming to hit its second peak.
“Fuck me, ugh! Please, Armando!” You shot, lifting your legs, granting him deeper access.
Armando grips the tiny mound between your hip and leg, using it as leverage to drive his thick cock deeper into your soaking wet pussy.
Animalistic groans leave his lips as he drives into you at an unholy pace. The sounds of skin slapping and drawn out, breathy moans fill the room, reaching a devilish peak when you scream out, coming and pulsing around his cock.
Armando follows you not shortly after, his dick pulsing and pumping his spillage into you.
He rolls off of you, taking you in his arms and placing a sweaty kiss on your forehead.
“Let’s get you cleaned up.” He murmurs on your forehead.
“Okay.” You smile, your legs sore and your middle aching.
Armando lifts you up bridal-style and carries you into the bathroom.
Soon you’re surrounded by steam and soap as you two bathe each other down.
Showered, you two snuggle in bed, a burning question still at the forefront of your mind.
“Armando?” You say.
“Hm,’ he is hardly awake at this point.
“When did you realize you cared about me?” You ask, angling your head to head to get a good look at him.
Armando chuckles, stroking your curls you have yet to put in a bonnet. “I think I always did. I was just scared.”
“Scared? Of what?”
“Maybe that you wouldn’t see me the way i see you.” He sighs. “I see only the good in you, and maybe that makes me a blind man, but I’m certain you’re a woman who can see through facades, and you wouldn’t see any goodness in me.”
You sit up. “That’s not true. Armando, of course you’ve done terrible things, but that’s not what I see when I look at you.”
Armando takes a hold of your bandaged hand, placing a small kiss on the palm. “So what do you see?”
“Now? I just see you, and all the tiny little good things that I love.”
A small smile graces Armando’s face before he leans in, kissing you softly. You sigh against his lips, not wanting this moment to end.
Though you two had some struggles, you wouldn’t have this pairing any other way.
You just wished you’d checked your blind spot early to see all the little signs you were missing.
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lexisecretaccx · 2 days
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I miss the man you were - M.S
Masterlist!
(Femreader x Matt Sturniolo, angst, sad, arguing and hateful words, toxic relationship, I know Matt wouldn’t be like this irl just a story, emotional. )
Summary: after Matt and y/n’s one year anniversary, his behaviour changes and he becomes ignorant and cold..
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The flowers, the jewellery, the little love notes, the cute dates and every single kind gesture.. was for nothing?
I wish I knew what I did wrong, at first he was having a “bad week” then a bad week turned into a bad month, and now it’s a been 5 months and he’s still in a bad mood. It’s not just a bad mood anymore, he’s taking it out on me, the hugs have turned into a pat on the shoulder, the loving kisses into an emotionless peck on the cheek, etc.
“I love you” is three words I’ve heard about 10 times in the past 5 months, from my boyfriend. It used to seem like he meant it but now it feels like he’s doing it just because he has to. I wish he’d talk with me instead of leaving me with sleepless nights wondering what the fuck is going on. Every time I try to talk to him I get fobbed off with an “I’m busy right now”.
That brings us to now.
“Matt please.” I practically beg him for an ounce of attention, attention I should be getting as his girlfriend. “Matthew please baby.” My eyes tear up and I choke on a cry.
“Give me a minute won’t you?” He coldly replies, texting on his phone. “No I won’t give you a fucking minute!” I yell, his eyes snap up to me. My eyes cloudy from tears that are fighting to fall from my eyes.
“What then!” He yells back, “what is so important that I can’t get a fucking minute to reply to a text from my brother?!” He stands up and walks to me. “Hm??” He gets close to me.
“Do you hate me?” I look up at him as the tears spill from my eyes. He scoffs, “what?” crossing his arms, “you fucking heard me Matt.” I wipe my eyes, only spreading the salty tears across my cheek as they continue to fall.
“I don’t hate you, don’t be paranoid.” He huffs and turns around, I grab his arm lightly. “Then why do you make me feel like shit?” I speak quietly. He turns quickly, shaking my hand off of him. He shrugs, “If I make you feel like shit then leave.” He swallows harshly. “I can’t.” I sob. He rolls his eyes, “why?”
Not one part of him wants to comfort me right now, I’m a mess infront of him. “I love you Matt! But right now I wish I fucking didn’t.” I raise my voice. “Then stop loving me y/n!” He hisses, his eyebrows knitting together, “I can’t Matt and I’m sorry if my love is such a burden to you.” I push past him and go to walk to the bathroom.
“Where are you going?” He shouts, following me. “To kill myself.” I lie, I just want him to fucking care. “You wouldn’t do that y/n, you care about me too much.” He scoffs, I turn around quickly and walk right up to him, “Not. Every. Thing. Is. About. You.” I grit my teeth, poking him in the chest with every word.
He looks offended, “Y/n.” He sighs, “No! I just can’t deal with this bullshit.” My voice cracks and I turn back to walk to the bathroom, “You know why? You know why you can’t deal with this shit?” He asks me, “Oh fucking enlighten me!” I command, “Because you’re a sensitive, whiny, pathetic little girl.” He spits.
I stop walking for a minute to process the words that just left his fucking mouth, I shake my head and walk up to the bathroom door, slamming and locking it behind me.
He pounds on the door, “open the door.” I ignore him and just sit on the floor my back on the door. “You’re just proving my point.” He gets more aggressive. I stay silent. “Y/n?” His tone softens, “Open the door.. please?” He speaks with a sense of worry.
“Y/n, open the door.” He has a slight growl in his voice. I stay silent again, pretending I can’t hear him, “y/n?” He whispers against the door. I hear him slide down the door and sit in front of it.
If the door wasn’t in the way we’d be back to back. I hear a light cry or something from the other side, “Who’s sensitive now?” I chuckle but deep down I’m breaking inside.
“Fuck you. You were begging me to care and when I did you make a snarky remark? Fuck you.” He yells. “Just fucking leave me alone!” I scream, as tears pour down my cheeks and drip onto my legs. “If you wanted my attention you fucking have it now.” He elbows the door.
“Why are you like this?” I lighten my tone, my voice wobbling. “I’m just me y/n.” He replies, “No you aren’t Matt, I miss you.” I bury my head in my hands, “how can you miss me? I’m right here?” He scoffs, “I miss the man you were.. not you now.” I trembled.
No answer, “what did I do? Please tell me.” I ask him, and I hear a loud sigh from the other side of the door. “Come out, please.” That’s all he says, but I want an answer so if this is how then I’ll do it.
I stand up and open the door, he’s getting up off the floor and he turns around to me, tears stained his cheeks. He.. cried?
My face softens at his sad expression, I tilt my head, expecting him to explain. He swallows gently just staring at me, my puffy face, red eyes and smudges makeup. “Fuck.” He whispers.
Before I can reply he pulls me in for a hug, the force knocking us to the ground but he doesn’t notice, wrapping his arms around me as if he never wanted to let go, burying his head in my shoulder and sighing deeply, after a few seconds I hug him back. I could swear I heard him cry.
As we sit on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor his arms still tightly around me, I stroke his head as his cries get louder. Even after everything that went on just now I still love him, he’s a broken soul.
Something must’ve happened to cause him to withdraw from me, “I fucking hate myself y/n.” His voice muffled because of my shoulder, I sigh, “I wish I could hate you right now baby but I can’t.” My voice is brittle.
“I’ll get help, I’ll go to therapy, I’ll make it all up to you I’m such a horrible person I should’ve never treated you like that.” He pleads, “it’s already happened, let’s just focus on now.” I comfort him, even though it still hurts from his words I can tell he’s hating himself right now.
“Don’t excuse my actions, I’m fucking awful.” He lifts his head from my shoulder and lets go of me, so now we’re sitting inches apart on the cold floor.
“It’ll be okay.”
“Will it?���
A/n: I’m crying bro, I just wanted to make a really sad and angst fanfic and I guess I did that. This is just a one shot so don’t be expecting any more parts sorry y’all😭😭 I listened to a sad playlist while writing this✌️😘 sigh. Also two fics in one day 😚
@blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @mattybslover @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @bueckerslover @fratbrochrisgf @sturniol0s @alwayssublimedelusion @certifiednatelover @freshsturns @riasturns @sturniololvrrr @maryx2xx @whicked-hazlatwhore @cammie4298 @sturnsjtop @sturnzblog @chr1sgirl4life @evie-sturns @milasturniolo @jaxyy219 @mattsturniolosbae @h3arts4harry @littlebookworm803 @realqueenofpepsi @elsxz1 @jnkvivi
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thebearer · 2 days
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do you think that when the reader was pregnant carmy sign them up for a baby first aid class? i really imagine him doing this kind of shit and it's actually so cute 😭 after his reaction to the pregnancy announcement 😭😭 I think he would totally get involved in this new world, classes, books, google, field research im going to kill myself GOODBYE!!!!
i think he did a 180 after his initial reaction. once the shock kinda set in, then he went into the same mode he always does, which is “i am going to learn everything i can about this so nothing will shock me and i’m always prepared”.
you think it’s kinda cute how he goes to the public library once a week to get every possible book about parenting, babies, what to expect when you’re expecting. he pours over them and it seems super sweet, and it is, but it’s also fueling his anxieties and his need to try and think of every bad possible scenario so he has a plan.
he makes you go to all these baby classes. cpr, how to swaddle, hot to change a diaper, the ones that you probably should go to to learn and then ones that are a little weird but he wants to go.
he does so much research about every single thing you buy too. the car seat and the crib and little monitor are the worst. he’s insufferable nearly, and you know it’s from a place of love but it’s so neurotic.
carmen throws himself down a rabbit hole of reading reviews and will not actually make a decision.
“carmen the crib, you need to decide on it today or i’m ordering one.”
“i know, i just… i was reading some reviews and-“
he barely gets it out before you’re groaning dramatically because he does this every time. one bad review and he’s tossing the whole idea of that crib. he reads every review on multiple platforms, late at night when his mind is racing and spiraling with thoughts that he might be a bad dad or repeat what he went through. so he’ll do that instead to try and distract himself.
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artdcnaldson · 1 day
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i need to be like patricks sister, whos at stanford with art, and just so in love with art. like totally enamored, puppy dog love, and just so terribly needy for him. and he knows. he is fully aware. but he wont do anything for the sake of patrick and their friendship. i need us to be in his dorm room one night, with him in that stupid sexy snapback, trying my hardest to persuade him, promising i wont tell patrick. what would the harm be if no one found out? i need art to tell me i can never have his cock :((( and that i'll just have to touch myself to the thought of it instead :((( (i could keep going, im going crazy)
KEEP GOING 🗣️🗣️🗣️
His restraint is literally so thin, because you’re following him to stupid frat parties in slutty outfits and getting stupid drunk, and he has to take care of you because you’re Pat’s sister.
And every time he takes you back to his dorm you’re clinging to him all needy, pouting and asking for him to tuck you in like he used to when you were a kid :((( he rolls his eyes. He only did that, like, once when you were nine and he was twelve and you came into the room him and Patrick were sharing because you had a nightmare.
“I’m not fucking doing that,” he says firmly, and you pout, but pretty soon you’re passed out on to of his blankets, face smushed against his pillow, skirt hiked up and— fucking Christ— he can see your cute little panties beneath them.
It’s worse when you’re sober, when he knows you know what you’re doing, when he can’t brush it off as you being drunk and stupid. When you ask him why he won’t just fuck you? You know he thinks you’re pretty, you see him looking at your tits, and your friends have caught him staring at your ass when you’re at parties. You both want it, so why is he being so mean?
And he can get meaner. He’ll have to, because Patrick is his friend, you’re just his clingy little sister. So he’s firm, he tells you he’s never going to fuck you, never going to kiss you, or date you, or be your sweet little boyfriend. That the closest you’ll ever get to him is your little fantasies in your head while you play with yourself at night :(
And maybe he does feel guilty, because you’re all teary eyed and your lip wobbles and you mutter apologies in a watery voice before you leave.
That night, when Patrick texts him “bro wtf did u say to her?????” He just groans and ignores it. There’s literally no right choice for him :(
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greensagephase · 1 day
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a random thought/imagine because I NEED to run into a Miguel at a Mexican party and falling in love with him! @fairlyang 's post got me going, I was going to reblog my crazy scenario through their post, and then this turned TOO LONG (I'm delusional, so that's why this is so detailed)!!
If you're not Latina/Mexican - just hear a delusional woman out plsssss (me hoping to manifest by writing this fr fr)
Going to a Mexican party, sitting at a table with my family because soy una muchacha seria y callada (I'm a serious and quiet girl), so I'm not on the dance floor, but I see Miguel in the crowd with the other men talking, dressed with a sombrero and botas (cowboy hat and boots), wearing gold jewelry (he's Mexican he has to wear gold jewelry, sorry not sorry).
I'm trying very hard not to stare and make it obvious because my fam is there and I'm a good family girl, a proper señorita, who hasn't been with anyone nor has done anything with anyone (this is my version guys, so don't mind the personal touches here) but !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M ALREADY IMAGINING WHAT HIS VOICE SOUNDS LIKE, HOW MUCH TALLER HE'D BE IF I WERE STANDING IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER!! I'm subtly -oh so subtly- admiring his large broad shoulders and BACKKK (having some serious thoughts about this part; hint: my long nails, anywayyyy), the way he stands, his thick thighs, the way he lifts a cup to his mouth, his laugh, his smile - yall, I'm planning a whole wedding, even though I know I'm not making a damn move because your girl IS SHY IRL (a moment for the shy girls ✊🏼😔), but a girl can daydream behind the centros de mesa (table centerpieces) my mom and grandma are taking home by the end of the night!!
I keep watching him, subtly, telling myself it's silly but I keep daydreaming anyway. IT'S FREE!!!!!!
He ends up spotting me from across the room while some love song is playing in the background because you know, Latinos and our love songs!! It's probably something like "Háblame de Ti" by Banda MS or some song by Grupo Frontera like "Bebe Dame" 😍 (iykyk) anyway, the music is not helping your delusional girl (me, you, us, everyone).
Imagine imagine imagine - MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH HIM AS HE BRINGS THE CUP TO HIS MOUTH WITH A LITTLE SMIRKKK-(why did I just get goosebumps?) YALL YAL YALL
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Freezing up and going through all stages of grief because I was caught staring !!!!!!!!!!!! I look away, trying to play it off even though my cheeks are the color of the red flowers adorning the room!!! I'm drinking some water, trying to C H I L L because I can feel his gaze on me.
Thinking it's safe, I look again AND - HE'S STARING
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Then for idk how long it's just a lot of ignoring/pretending that's not happening because once again, I'M SHYYYY (once I get to know you I open up but like, it takes a hot week) but I'm just thinking, "este hombre" (this man; also wondering what his name is and why I've never seen this man before???) because I'm literally dying pretending I'm okay and fighting the inappropriate thoughts while sitting next to my grandma because Miguel keeps staring, going along with his conversation with the men (who have noticed him staring and probably tease him about making a move, or telling him to forget it because "esa muchacha/morra no baila con nadie" (that girl doesn't dance with anyone). So he just watches from a distance, trying to gather some info and noticing little things like how I'm avoiding his gaze, the nervous smile, trying to pretend that side of the building doesn't exist-
and thennnnnnnnnnnnnnn
at some point he leaves his side of the room, steps determined. I once again *subtly* notice this and then freak out when he's coming my way but I'm like "no way, right? right?" *hearts racing abnormally*
IMAGINE HIM APPROACHING THE TABLE AND INTRODUCING HIMSELF TO YOUR PARENTS AND GRANDMA, OR WHOEVER ELSE IS THERE?? And then looking at you, giving you a gentle, soft smile WITH SOME MISCHIEF BEHIND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES YOU'VE EVER HAD THE PRIVILIGE LAYING EYES ON AND MAKING YOU FEEL THINGS - or like a commenter said the other day in one of my posts "senti cosas de mujer" (I felt women things)!! YOU'RE FEELING THINGS THINGS !!!
AND HE ASKS YOUR PARENTS IF HE CAN ASK YOU TO DANCE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE HE REALIZES YOU'RE A FAMILY GIRL, AND THAT'S HOW HE'S GOING TO WIN YOUR FAMILY SO HE CAN HAVE YOU BECAUSE MANS HAS ALSO ALREADY PLANNED THE WEDDING RECEPTION'S MENU !!!!!!!!!!!
ok bye, thank you for listening to my unhinged scenario but in all seriousness - God - I've seen what you've done for others !!!!! Send a Miguel O'Hara lookalike my way with sombrero y botas, chest hair, and gold jewelry, and who knows how to fix the light that turned on in my vehicle, which I've been ignoring for months, and who helps with the masa for the tamales para Navidad (helps with the tamales dough for Christmas) because he has large, warm hands 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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lemotmo · 1 day
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Okay I'm going to partially tell on myself. I am new, as in the Buck/T kiss showed up all over my dash, as did all of Oliver's interviews and I just thought he was the yummiest most delightful human being I had ever seen and heard (my god is accent is heaven) new. And I thought that first kiss was really well done. It was a great scene. Now, that being said, I didn'twant to jump into a show that was seven seasons into the story with zero context, except the stuff I had been seeing on my dash for years. So I started from the beginning, with the full intent and excitement of getting to T in season 7. Imagine my surprise when he popped up occasionally in earlier seasons. His only good part was when we were supposed to believe that Chim could lift him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, haha. That was great.
Anyway by the time I made it to season 7, it was too late. I had just watched 5 seasons of Buck and Eddie. There was zero room for T to compete on any level. Which is why the behavior of some is so confusing to me. Let me say first that I do not think the show always intended to put Buck and Eddie together, I don't think that's been the intention since the beginning. There is however a very good case to make that Eddie's introduction was Buck's actual Bi bell ringing moment though (*what a man plays in the background*). I do however agree that the writing has trended, increasingly so, in that direction. The writers do not hold all the blame however, Oliver and Ryan have kind of acted them into a corner. There are several scenes, multiple scenes, where the acting choices the two of them made were interesting, to say the least (looking at you 'go for the title' kitchen scene I love. Buck was flirting on every possible level in that scene).
Sorry, I got off track, back to my point. The people like me, who came in after the kiss popped up everywhere, being all in on T is somewhat fine. The problem would be the ones who are deliberately refusing to go back and watch the entire series before pontificating on B/T being destiny and all that other nonsense. There is an argument to be made that they're avoiding it because they know most of the history dismantles their current ship fixation. So as a result those people can be easily dismissed because they have zero context to any of their opinions. The ones who were with you all for 5 seasons though, yes I've seen their posts, who lost their shit over 2 pairs of lips touching, is what I cannot wrap my brain around. I completely understand the excitement behind that first kiss. It was a much anticipated moment for BUCK. He was the important person in that scene.
But confusing, or deliberately misinterpreting, Buck's revelation and sigh of relief at finally figuring out something pretty significant about himself, as being about him finding T is a gymnastics act I did not expect to see from so many long haulers. I mean, it should be obvious but T wasn't important in that scene. His gender was what was important. Which is why they have barely bothered to show him since that episode. And the interactions they have shown, minus the hospital kiss, that they made sure to show Eddie's reaction to btw, have all been red flag scenes. Little things that show this relationship isn't really that different from his previous relationships. Buck may have figured out the gender part but he's still making the same relationship mistakes. It's why the few scenes they've had together, and it's the bare minimum of effort, have been about Buck trying to initiate some level of communication and emotional connection and him being dismissed or having it turned into a daddy kink joke. I also think Oliver's enthusiasm dipped drastically by the end and it showed.
Which brings me to Eddie. The show, and more so, Oliver and Ryan have already done the hard part. The emotional connection, which is way more difficult to pull off than a physical connection, is already there. Their chemistry is already established.They're partners in every way but physically. As a result it is not a huge character leap to eventually bring a physical relationship into it as well. That will not be a shocking character development for either character. It goes back to the way the two have been written and they way Oliver and Ryan have interrupted those scenes. I won't touch their interviews because I think it's pretty clear, at this point, they seem to agree it's the way to go. There's more story to explore with them learning how to navigate an actual relationship than there is in bringing in other, lesser characters, to firstly try to compete with that connection, and then try to establish endgame status. I don't know. It's not about any two pairs of lips touching it's about the right two pairs of lips touching. Because when it's the right couple the characters get that sigh and exhale of finally! But the audience gets their sigh and exhale of finally as well. That is the point.
Sorry this got looooong 🤣
Ooooh Nonny, you speak right to my heart.
First of all, thank you for going back all the way to season 1 to actually sit down and watch the show. We aren't just making up Buddie. It has been there since the beginning. I'm so glad you got to witness their beautiful history together and that you realised just how right they are for each other.
I can't speak for the people who suddenly turned 180° and dropped Buddie for BT. I have been shipping Buddie from season 2, so I don't understand their reasoning or motivation either. It like you said so beautifully:
"It's not about any two pairs of lips touching. It's about the right two pairs of lips touching."
And that is what it comes down to. We can be content with a lackluster, meaningless relationship for queer rep. Or we can be exhilerated with an amazingly complex and years in the making relationship, which will be so much better for queer rep. It will be revolutionary in so many ways to make a slow burn queer ship canon.
(Before anyone comes at me for talking about queer rep. I have slowly been figuring myself out over the last couple of years and, looking back at my life and relationships, I've come to realise that I definitely belong somewhere on the ace spectrum. Not sure where exactly, I'm still searching for the right label, but it feels right to me. This is actually the first time I said this on a public forum for people to read. Kinda scary to be honest.)
I know what I would choose for myself if I was faced with these two options. Why wouldn't we automatically choose this for Buck and Eddie as well? It's mind-boggling really.
So yeah: queer Eddie and Buddie canon in season 8! All the way!
Don't apologise for your great post. I loved reading it. Feel welcome to drop in whenever you want. :)
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cherries-in-wine · 2 days
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I love the parallels between the virgin suicides and lolita.
People call Vladimir Nabokov a disgusting creep for writing from the perspective of a pedophile when in reality if you read the book, Humbert Humbert is not likeable in the slightest. He's an unreliable narrator that's so stuck in his own delusions that he can't see how miserable dolores is because of him. Nabokov is a great writer and lolita is really well written. It's a great satire in the sense that it's pathetic to see Humbert Humbert think he's sooo charming and these "nymphets" are soooo in love with him. Dolores' trauma is obvious to any conscious reader, I don't know how people are so charmed by Humbert Humbert that they can't see how dolores' defiance which he calls "teenage rebellion" is a very apparent cry for help. Lolita is a Gothic horror, a cautionary tale. It's a genius work of art and what's most horrific about lolita is how the public reacted to it, how it's so normalised to sexualise little girls that blatant pedophilia is interpreted as a tragic love story. Nabokov himself referred to dolores as his "poor little girl". He had a lot of empathy for her and it must be so heartbreaking to see her getting sexualised.
When I first read the virgin suicides i thought it was a great work of satire. I adore the Lisbon girls with all my heart, I see a part of myself in all of them by varying degrees. The boys who claimed they loved these girls, only saw them as some fantasy. Even in death they never truly respected any of these girls. How when they found Cecelia's diary, instead of trying to make sense of why she killed herself, they selfishly searched for their own names. I loved the irony of the boys claiming they loved these girls when they didn't know anything about them. It showed how their "love" was really shallow and surface level. I thought Jeffrey Eugenides really understood me in that sense. But in reality he didn't mean any of the things the boys did to be interpreted as satire. According to him, peaking through windows, stealing used tampons, joking about groping dead girls, these grown men still picturing those little girls years later while they had sex with their wives etc was supposed to show that teenage boys are not disgusting horny dogs, but romantic softies (if anything this made me think teenage boys are much more repulsive than i thought). According to Eugenides the book is satire, but in the sense that you never know what was going through a person's head when they committed suicide and you can't make sense of it no matter how hard you try. Everything about how the boys viewed the girls was not satire and was to be taken at face value. This really broke my heart, an author who i thought really did get me and understood me, ended up making me feel watched instead of seen.
It's so interesting how lolita which is supposed to be from the perspective of an unreliable narrator was taken at face value and the virgin suicides which was to be taken at face value was perceived as satire.
The director of Lolita didn't get her at all, even he thought she was some kind of a seductress instead of a child that was abused constantly. While the virgin suicides movie was so much better than the book, Sofia Coppola, the director, understood the Lisbon girls so well and she did them justice.
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