#living with your ex

[pstabs]

I'm Terrified of Living Alone

I still live with my ex husband. I wrote about this in another post on here about how many people are because of how the cost of housing in Canada is completely unaffordable. I make almost 6 digits a year and to think that I can barely afford to live on my own scares me.

Despite being terrified of moving, my friend Scott gave me some very hard truths over the holidays. He said that any person who is worthy of me will not look at me as long as I'm living with my ex. It's not about having a roommate. It's about the fact that I loved that person enough to marry them. It isn't about how the relationship ended or what happened during it. It's not about his cheating, his lying, his stealing, his emotional abuse and manipulation. It's about me still living under the same roof as him.

So I need to move.

I have a place figured out in a city that is a bit closer to my family. If my work decides to cancel work from home, I'll have to find a different job. The rent is more than twice what I'm paying now. I will be struggling to pay for things. There will be no extras. And that is terrifying.

During my life, I've paid of three sets of student loans (mine x 2 and his). I'm familiar with living while in debt. I'm in debt now with a credit card and a line of credit. It's manageable. But I will incur more debt when I move.

Wait, how did this post become about moving and money?

It's supposed to be about how I'll be utterly alone after I move.

Right now, there's noise coming from the other room. There's someone there. Even if most of the time we argue and that my bitterness, resentment and anger exists constantly, there is someone there.

When I move, there will be no one.

I took today off of Twitch and Discord. I am trying to acclimate myself to being alone. When I move, I will literally have no person at all to talk to in the flesh about anything. No one at all.

The silence is already deafening and I'm not even there yet.

I'll be alone and broke.

I am not sure I can do this. I've had 40+ years to build up the resilience I'm going to need for this step. Here's to hoping it's enough.

[an-established-butt-dent]

Soooooo after the new details that have been revealed about Veilguard, how do we all imagine a Solavellan reunion is going down? Trapped in the fade together? Lighthouse makeout sessions? A very sad mural dedicated to his Vhenan? My brain is infested with new headcanons.

[vicioustoker]

jon getting offended everytime he basically gets called an old man will never not be funny

[corpsentry]

a glass sun 1/2

[xxcherrycherixx]

cupid's gals meet

[beescake]

are you secretly the CEO of solkat

solkat r the ceos of me. actually

[alfairy]

Nimona AU where Ballister and Nimona do leave the kingdom and go over the wall to find a new safe home. Years pass. The kingdom is more paranoid than ever because the queen killer and the monster were never caught and could presumably still live among them or return to cause more chaos.

The director decides one day that they need to take the fight to the monsters, strike first before they are stricken again. Knights are sent out beyond the wall to search the surrounding land and burn down the woods in order to “smoke the monsters out.” Destroying everything, trying to fight a monster that was never even there.

During one of these instances, Ambrosius and Ballister finally see each other again face to face for the first time in years since that fateful interaction at the institution. They’ve both changed, physically at least; Ambrosius’ hair is longer, Bal’s got some more grey streaks and a new arm upgrade. But underneath all of that they’re still the same, still got that lingering hurt and romantic feelings. Nimona is still the same as ever and hasn’t aged a day.

(Also idea that maybe there’s other small communities and people living outside the wall that Bal and Nimona ended up quietly settling down in. People who are far more open minded and accepting of others, and who are more concerned about the walled off kingdom with guns pointing at them than this nice guy and his cool daughter. That’s their neighbor and they’re not gonna let some knights storm in and cause trouble for him.)

[yandere--stuck]

Imagine: Familal Yandere Stanford AND Platonic Yandere Bill, who are both obsessed with Dipper and Mabel.

REAL AS HELLLLLL!!!!!!!!!

---

“Isn't this great?” Grunkle Ford asked, taking a seat beside Dipper on the Living Human Flesh couch. 

Dipper ducked away from a six-fingered hand attempting to ruffle his hair. “That's certainly an adjective you could use to describe this situation.”

“WOW!” Bill shouted (as if he had any other means of emoting.) “A three and four-syllable word in a row! He really is a chip off the ol’ block, Sixer.”

Dipper could feel Grunkle Ford Stanford's eyes on him, practically beaming at the thought that he and his grand nephew were so alike, so much so that they could be considered father and son. Never mind that it was said by an interdimensional demon.

An interdimensional demon that also happened to be currently braiding his sister's hair as they sat in front of a fireplace in the ‘penthouse suite’ of the Fearamid.

One might even think it a sweet moment between an odd family. Two great uncles, one attempting connection with his nephew, the other lounging in a recliner and trying to pretend everything was normal. And his sister, being doted on by what was one of the most powerful beings in the universe, if not every universe. Mabel might have looked happy to anyone looking in from the outside, but Dipper knew his sister better than he knew himself. If she were truly happy, she'd be grinning ear-to-ear, gabbing a mile a minute, talking to Bill about all the hair styles they could try and how he should manifest himself some hair so she could braid him next.

But no, she simply sat in silence and let Bill work through her locks. She forced a smile and stared into the fireplace, flinching whenever Bill moved too fast.

It made Dipper sick.

And maybe, maybe all of this could have been passable if this were something Stanford had been forced to do in the heat of the moment. Something he'd regretted. And that's what he claimed.

But Dipper knew. He knew Stanford was lying. He was enjoying all of this too much for him to regret it. How stupid was Dipper to think that the biggest con artist in their family was Grunkle Stan when it was the guy grinning in his face, yucking it up in the face of destruction and tragedy just because he got to play house with Bill - his so-called mortal enemy.

He wanted to believe that this wasn't Ford's plan all along. Wanted to believe that his great uncle had been corrupted or mind controlled or tortured past the point of sanity. That this wasn't what he'd set out to do from the beginning. But Dipper didn't know what to believe anymore. 

“WA-BAM!” Bill snapped a full-length mirror into existence, allowing Mabel to see what he'd done to her hair, “Whaddaya say, Shooting Star?”

A simple French braid, with little glittery stars woven into her hair. In any other case, Mabel would have been ecstatic. But now, Mabel simply looked up at the demon, an unsure grin forced onto her face.

“Thanks, Bill,” She managed, not able to look him in the eye.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Bill waggled a finger in her face. “Try again.”

Mabel's face sank momentarily and she locked eyes with Dipper. The look in her eyes… It was like she was trying to scream so many things at once through expression alone. It felt like forever, the twins trying to communicate to each other in silence, but it was probably less than a second. If seconds even existed anymore.

Then, Mabel looked up at Bill and put on her best smile. “Thank you, Grunkle Bill, I love it.”

‘Grunkle Bill.’ Ugh. Dipper couldn't help the disgusted grimace that made its way onto his face. He thought he'd hated the triangle when he was actively trying to kill them all, but that was so much worse.

“See that, Pinetree?” Cipher whipped around, floating above the boy. “Why can't you be more like your sister?”

“Oh, Bill,” Ford waved him off with a smile and roll of his eyes. No malice, no contempt, just exasperated fondness.

“I'm just sayin’! We're trying to do family bonding over here, but Pinetree and Fez are being a coupla sticks in the mud!”

“He and Stanley just need more time,” Ford replied, speaking as if either of them weren't there.

Dipper felt sick. Sick from anger, sick from betrayal, sick from utter disgust. Bill's actions were understandable from the perspective that he was a creature from a different dimension. A monster without any need to identify with human morality systems. But Ford was human. A human with family and people who loved him and trusted him and counted on him. A human whose world had been destroyed because of his allegiance to a monster. Because of his feelings for a monster. And he just expects them all to be okay with this? To smile and clap and nod along and pretend everything is okay?

Mabel spoke up, drawing Dipper from his thoughts. “Well, um, Grunkle Bill, if we're doing family bonding time… Would you wanna meet me and Dipper's parents?”

“Say, that's an idea,” Bill turned to Ford. “Whaddaya say, Fordsie?’

Dipper whipped his head back to face his great uncle. He bit his tongue, holding his breath. He felt himself screaming from behind his eyes, trying to will his uncle with his gaze, hoping his expression was enough to implore him to say yes, to be merciful, to at least give him and Mabel their parents back. 

“I…” Ford breathed. “No, I don't think so.”

“WHAT?” Dipper couldn't control his outburst, his shout loud and sudden enough to make his great uncle jump.

“Sixer, c'mon,” Stan spoke up.

“You said it yourself, Stanley, the only ones you count as family are the children.” Ford countered. 

“That was- I didn't mean it.”

“Still,” Ford crossed his arms. “I have no loyalty to them. This is for the best,” Then, the old man turned back to Dipper. “You'll understand one day.”

Dipper glared up at his uncle, baring his teeth so hard he would have sworn they would have broken. But then, a noise broke his concentration.

He turned to see his sister, her sweater pulled over her head as she rocked back and forth, sniffling and surely crying underneath. 

“AWW, now look what you did, Pinetree,” Bill chided, daring to pet at the bit of hair that peeked out of Mabel’s sweater. “You made your sister cry!”

“Me?” Dipper balked, incredulous. 

A six-fingered hand came down to Dipper's shoulder for a comforting squeeze - and the boy bristled with rage, wrenching himself away and off of the couch. Every inch of Dipper's body was over one with disgust, with anger, with hatred. Just looking at Stanford made him sick.

“I hate you,” Dipper spat, trying to fight the tears welling in his eyes. “You're a monster and you're not my uncle anymore.”

Just for a brief moment, Dipper felt satisfaction at the look of absolute hurt on Stanford's face. Then, he all but dove into his Grunkle Stan's hold, burying his face into his jacket. Stan held him protectively, one hand holding the back of his head and the other rubbing soothing circles into his back. And for a few moments, Dipper can pretend he and Mabel were back at the shack and he'd had a nightmare or something and needed reassurance from his uncle. Something he should have grown out of, something Stan would give him shit for later, but even still, Stan would have let him settle into the recliner and drift off to sleep to the sounds of Gravity Falls’ public access TV.

“Please, he didn't mean it,” Mabel's voice was barely above a whisper as she pleaded. “Don't be mad at him.”

“He's just scared,” Stan added, holding Dipper tight. “We all are.”

“There's no reason to be,” Ford insisted. “Dipper, please, look at me. You're my s- my, my nephew and I love you. None of this is meant to hurt you.”

He sure had a funny way of showing it.

He could hear Bill let out a frustrated groan. “Alright, I think this has gone on LONG ENOUGH.”

In a flash, Dipper was suddenly back on the flesh couch, cuddled up next to his not-so-great uncle Ford. He couldn't bear to look at him, simply staring ahead. At his sister. At the fire. At Cipher.

The triangle spoke. “Now, kid, I get this is a big change and all, but the only reason Gravity Falls and all your little friends have been left untouched is because of your uncle here. I think you should be a little more grateful. That is… Unless you don't want your friends to be safe?”

A sneer overtook Dipper's face. All of the anger boiling inside him threatened to burst out in the form of calling Bill every curse word he knew - and even the ones he didn't. 

But he knew better. Dipper gritted his teeth. “No, I do.”

“Then, I feel an apology is in order!”

“Sorry,” Dipper mumbled noncommittally. 

“Not to ME, Pinetree,” The demon laughed. “Though, I appreciate the thought!”

Dipper let out a shuddering sigh. Slowly, as though just looking in Ford's direction took great effort, he managed to meet his great uncle's eyes. And he had the gall to look condescending. As if Dipper were just a child throwing a tantrum.

He hated him. He hated him more than anything. He couldn't believe he ever believed in him, ever obsessed over his work, ever thought he was great, ever thought he was a hero, ever thought to leave behind his sister to follow someone like him.

“...I'm sorry, Great Uncle Ford,” Dipper spoke robotically. “I didn't mean what I said. I don't hate you. You're still my uncle.”

“ANNND?” Bill egged him on.

“And. I love you.”

Ford had the audacity to smile. To open his arms wide. To ask, “How about a hug?”

Dipper felt he had no choice. As he was wrapped into a hug by the man who'd betrayed his family, betrayed the world, betrayed the universe, Dipper let himself bury his face into Ford's turtleneck. At least he could hide his tears now.

For a second, it felt as if his hat had disappeared from his head. A four-fingered hand ruffled through his locks affectionately. Then, his hat was back in place.

Dipper fought not to be ill.

“Say, how about an ‘I love you’ for your Grunkle Bill, huh?”

…

“Not now? Eh, that's fine! We've got an eternity for you to come around!”

[astrangertomykin]

Gale's the type that when you are having feelings of inadequacy about your relationship and how you fit into it, uttering "Gale, I'm no Goddess" whilst turning your head away, that he would cup your face with his hand and bring your eyeline back to his, and whisper "No. You're so much more." right before he pulls you close to kiss you as gently, with a reverence, just as you deserve

[writeshite]

i gnaw at my enclosure everytime you post.

I NEED TO BE FEEEEDDDD AAAAA

— [can i be] 🌎 anon [?]

“You’ve hardly changed.”

Astarion turns in surprise at the sound of your voice; it had been some years since he’d last seen you. He practically beams when he notices you, draping himself over you in glee, though it never quite reaches his eyes.

“And you’ve changed a lot. Did you miss me?” Astarion caresses your cheek, and you resist the urge to lean into the touch like so long ago. Instead, you slap his hand away and hold it far from your face.

“I’m not here for you, Astarion; I was called to Baldur’s Gate to deal with a rogue dryad.” You see the glee vanish and be instantly replaced by anger and jealousy.

“I did not ask what brought you here, I asked if you missed me,” Astarion states.

The ascension had twisted everything inside him, your attention was his and his alone, but unlike before where he’d mock pout, now he’d murder the person that stole your attention.

“I don’t have time for you Astarion,” you brush him aside, and his face darkens.

“Well, make time; I don’t like being ignored.” He reminds you, “Are you with someone? Did you replace me with some warm body to fuck?”

Your lack of response irritates him and lack of engagement in a conversation only prompts Astarion to follow you.

[beefcakekinard]

buck tells tommy he gets jealous easily. buck has a history of relationships with women who already have well-established priorities in their lives, who don't compromise that for him. from the get go he feels like he's competing for affection and being left behind. tommy keeps showing up for buck like it's a given. like he comes first and it's the most natural thing.

tommy tells buck he's jealous of how the 118 has become a family. buck is the beating heart of that family, the glue that keeps them all together, the emotional core.

[pstabs]

I Still Live With My Ex

A news article and a thread 🧵

This is something I don't talk about outside of my friend-circle, but I'm one of these ppl still living with their ex. Except I'm in the Toronto area.

The reason: Housing costs

I ended my 10+ year marriage in 2019. At the time, my father was at his end of life after years of suffering from prostate cancer. I had no intention of moving out with that happening.

I wanted to deal with one thing at a time. Dad first, moving out second.

2020 brought COVID lockdowns as I had started looking at places to live. So again, one thing at a time. I stayed.

Even then, housing costs were unsettling and I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to afford to move out. I would have to take a significant amount of debt with me

Marital debt is scary when one person is a big spender but in order to leave without super expensive lawyers, I'd need to take half of the debt with me. That's an $800 a month payment.

The pandemic has pushed us to the brink of a recession. Costs of everything are up

Costs are up but my standard of living increase at work resulted in a 3% raise over 2 years. The take home on that doesn't even cover the increased cost in groceries for a month.

Thank glob for rent control in Ontario. I wouldn't be able to afford the place I currently live in!

But should I be so happy?

My half of rent is currently $950 a month. The average rent for a 2 bedroom in my area is $2425 a month. So I'm below average due to rent control.

This is fabulous, except if you need to move.

Let's downsize then.

Studio apartments average $1700 a month. So that would increase my rent by $750 a month.

A studio apartment is _one_ room that serves as your bedroom, living room and kitchen. There will be a small bathroom (no tub) included in that.

We gotta do what we gotta do, right?

That's not affordable so I widened my search. When I look at everything within a 2 hour driving radius of my work the average goes down to $1600 a month.

But don't you work from home? I do. However, my place of employment is trying everything in its power to get us to come back

My place of employment and it's distrust of their employees is another thread for another day but basically, I'm tied to the area that my work is in. I decided that I could probably handle a 2 hour drive one way to work if I absolutely needed to.

Queue the commuting bills!

Oh and I'm one of those Canadians with an okay paying job (I'm $30k below market average right now but I can't afford to switch jobs at the moment either...again another thread for another time).

I'm one of those people who can't buy into the housing market.

I don't qualify for first time homeowner help and I'm too old for any government help either. Seriously there is an under 40 clause.

Not having a home to own means I don't have an asset to sell for an influx of cash to get out of this.

Life isn't easy living with my ex. Daily reminders of the failure of the marriage. Fights, resentment.

My mental health has taken a HUGE hit.

I feel like a shadow of the person I used to be.

I feel trapped.

No. I am trapped.

If you've read this far, thank you.

I'm not trying to play victim here at all. I don't want ppl to feel bad for me.

I chose to marry the wrong person. I tried to make it work but failed. This is my bed, I will lay in it.

I need to move out. But I can't afford to.

Housing costs in Ontario are out of control.

Rent control works great until you have to move.

[maythestormsnevertakefromme]

The world when pagans, wiccans and witches acknowledge that divine feminine is literally just repackaged tradwife propaganda and dark feminine is oversexualisation of pagan women and their bodies:

[lunarharp]

more phoenix wright situations

[gayofthefae]

Will haunting the narrative as both the innocent who was wrongfully destroyed AND the one that got away.

Season 2 Will impacting everything Mike does from that point forward just as much as Will's death impacts everyone.

El thinks of him when she confronts Brenner about the mind flayer, we know things like that. But Mike also thinks of him when he tells El he loves her.

They're all thinking of him. The last time they saw him.

The way he was never the same.

But Mike is thinking about the last time he saw him.

Losing him.

The way they were never the same.

(The way he can't get him back)

Yes, Will's disappearance changed everyone's trajectory forever. But he also changed Mike. He also made Mike's personal and romantic life impossible to return to after him.

He haunts more than just the people who mourn his death.

(The sole purpose of Mike's season 2 separation from El in the first place is so that he can never truly go back after Will)

[eeepgrove]

Ford came back to Bill turning out his nephew