#lost sort of when it's not about exy

[broken-heart-raven-queen]

While reading Lazarus I came to the realisation that Kevin is nobody's priority/ number one and that broke me a little, even the two protectors of the team favoured other people in comparison to him.

Andrew's "betrayal" might have hurted the most because like it or not they were close, had sort of a bond there that sure was important to his little traumatized brain. But that Renee was willing to show his pictures, even if he understands the reasons behind, pictures that show him at his lowest point, to the world it sure would have done something for him.

Then... other people, like the Ravens for example. Jean's priority was surviving, he helped if he was helped, he might have had something with Kevin but I'm sure he didn't put him first to this. Riko is Riko not gonna elaborate on that, even in his obsession, when Neil appeared Kevin lost his interest for a while. Thea, his girlfriend, as much as she could care about him in her own way she didn't came back for him when it all exploded nor believed him at first.

And he didn't even was his own priority, he puts himself behind exy, his mother's legacy, other people...

[starrycassi]

Out of character.

Andrew is the last person that one would expect to be insecure about himself. But, sometimes, some days, some nights.

Or the one where Nicky indirectly causes his cousin's marriage.

.

When Neil wakes up, the air is wrong.

Instinctively, he checks his own pulse, to make sure that he isn't having a heart attack. He isn't, so, that is good. He checks his own breathing, sits down in bed and looks around, makes sure that his body is okay. Or as okay as it can be after a specially rough night in the rink. US against Canada, the match of the year.

They won, so, that is good. His inner health is okay, also. No signs of any panic attacks coming, or anything of the sorts. Betsy taught him how to identify them.

The air is still wrong.

He takes a deep breath. It isn't the putrid, nose-clogging, overly sweet fragrance he is used to, and that's not good. It isn't sugary syrup and chocolate pancakes, it isn't colorful cereals and strawberry milk. It isn't anything Andrew usually ate for breakfast.

That sets off all his alarms. That was not good. Andrew, like him, has good days and bad days and days when eating is too much of a task for him to perform and he ends up just wanting to sleep in all day. Neil takes care of him, those days. Brings him food, water, and tries to be as quiet as possible throughout the day. If he can't do it, Renee will, and if they can't, Kevin will, and sometimes even Aaron shows up. Nicky's living in Germany now, but he makes sure to video chat often enough.

It's 8 am, already. Neil usually wakes up earlier. He runs out of the bed and into the kitchen, worried. What if it is too late, too late to cook, too late to bake, too late to order delivery, too late to call for an ambulance, too late to give him cpr, too late to-

Andrew is just sitting there, peacefully. In front of him, a bowl of salad. He's eating it

That is weird. Neil's brain doesn't have enough information about the situation to actually do anything. He locks his eyes in Andrew's face, and stares.

Andrew looka up, places his fork down in the green-filled bowl, and smiles.

That isn't good. Oh, God.

Neil suddenly feels so, so lost. He's seen Andrew smile a hundred times before. Under the meds, he smiled all the time; after that, just in a couple of very quick, small gestures on very certain events. A "blink and you'll miss it" situation.

This isn't genuine. This looks copypasted, and suddenly they are 19-ish again, sitting at the bleachers of the PSU exy's court, Andrew smiling at nothing and Neil frowning at him.

"Did you sleep well, honey?"

Wrong. Andrew's voice usually doesn't sound like that. He never says "honey". His tone is off. Is he mad? Playing a prank? Neil's heart skips a beat. The only logical explanation is that, somehow, in the middle of their slumber, Katelyn and him swapped minds and this man in front of him is, actually, Aaron. But this is his mind, and his body, and his house, so not that.

The other suitable theory is that Andrew was been cloned by idiot aliens in his sleep. That seems better.

"Neil? I asked... I asked if you slept well, baby?"

Neil takes one step back.

Andrew and him are not some sort of loveless, tragic, doomed marriage. They are a happy "technically we're secretly married just for the legal and tax benefits" couple, and Andrew is a lovely "technically" husband. He brings Neil new notebooks with funky covers for him to do maths and doodle on, he makes sure that Neils running shoes are in their best shape and a pair is always by the door and ready to be used, he buys electrolytes and a lot of vegetables he doesn't even like, he does small, little things, everyday, to make his "technically" husband's life better.

He never, EVER, calls him baby, though. As a joke, perhaps. When he wants to point out his stupidity and immaturity. Never as a pet name.

This is wrong.

Andrew, smiling, squinted at him. He isn't wearing his glasses. He isn't in his usual outfit. There was more skin showing than it would usually be. Andrew wore pants and long sleeves whenever he could, and this isn't exactly a babydoll, but he's wearing nothing more than his boxers and a wife-beater that belongs to Neil and looks way too tight and a bit too long on him.

He gets up, his smile carved into his face like a curse to bear and not the blessing to witness it usually was. He walks straight to Neil, and his eyes look completely out of it.

Neil should've dealt with things better. Realize that his "technically" husband is intoxicated. But instinct overtakes him, and in less than two minutes, he hastily puts on a pair of running shoes and leaves the house without a word.

He's a shitty "technically" husband.

To try and amend that, he stops in a park that he knows well by now, takes a few deep breaths, and calls Betsy Dobson.

.

Calling Betsy Dobson is one of his least favorite activities. That means something is wrong, and he kikes it when things are good.

(Andrew banned the word "fine" from the household. Good was an easy replacement)

So Neil calls Betsy and explains the situation with guilt, because leaving Andrew alone was a shitty move, Betsy confirms she will call Andrew, and Neil runs back to the house. Betsy calls him back in the middle of the way, says that Andrew's safety isn't compromised, and tries to get him to talk about himself and his feelings about the situation.

He hangs up.

He gets to the house in record time. The 20 minutes it usually takes him to return from the Gardenia Park turned into ten minutes, minutes crushed under his shoes, under his desperation to get back, under the curses at himself for his reaction, under his attempt to think about what is going on, and his many illogical ideal on how to deal with it.

Perhaps he shouldn't hang up on Dobson, in the future.

It's strange, but relieving, to see Andrew, his Andrew, open the door. Black sweater, grey sweatpants, glasses, Andrew. Mildly annoyed, quiet, Andrew. His "technically" husband. His lover. The man he loves. Really, actually, literally, loves.

Andrew rolls his eyes at him and his whole appearance, scowling, and the world is back on track, "Feeling better, rabbit?"

He moves from the door and Neil gets in, smiling. Yeah. Better. Rabbit is a lovely pet name. He likes it. Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit. He likes it. The world is spinning again.

"A bit. Feeling better, geumbal?"

Andrew stays silent, probably trying to remember what the foreign word means.

But that's fine. Uh, good. That's good. Neil drops himself on the couch, panting a bit. This was an extremely confusing situation, and he's beginning to question if it was real or he ran too much and his lack of oxygen made him halucinate or something when Andrew sighs, heavily, and asks, as a force of habit, "Yes or no?"

It's always a yes, and Neil says so. Andrew sits down next to him, and they aren't cuddling, but this is everything Neil could ever possibly have

"So..."

Andrew sighs, again.

"I'll say this, once. Coach sent us some vodka to celebrate yesterday's thing. I drank. Nicky called. He gave me some advice and I was intoxicated enough to try and follow it"

Neil can't help but burst out laughing.

The idea of Nicky trying to give Andrew some love advice is incredibly funny, but Andrew doesn't laugh, or chuckle, or call him stupid or something. He tenses his jaw and looks at the wall, and that's not good.

"I'm glad it was amusing to you, Josten"

"You're technically a Josten too, you know?"

That usually does it. Andrew turns around and Neil acts like he can't see the blush on his "technically" husband's face. Or he calls Neil a ridiculous sap. Or he vaguely says something about divorce rates on same sex couples.

Dobson would want them to talk about things. Andrew would probably listen to her advice and they'll do it anyway. So, might as well.

"Truth for truth. Yes or no?"

Andrew looks at him, lifting his eyebrows. He looks somewhat impressed. It's a spark, and then it's gone. They haven't been playing that, lately. They live, work and sleep together. There's no room for a lot of secrets.

"Yes. Ask"

Neil nods, and gets himself ready. He tries to think about the best, most cohesive way to word his question. Over the years, he's gotten better at covering all his bases in a single question, so Andrew can't claim that he should ask smarter questions if he wants better answers. But his brain is acting weird, and he hasn't eaten anything yet, and he's now used to breakfast, which, isn't it crazy, that Neil Josten is used to breakfast? And that someone usually cooks it for him? And that they share it, calmly and in silence, just because they're both free to do so?

"What led you to listen to Nicky when, before, you never really did that, even drunk or drugged?"

It's a bit of a tongue twister to spit out, but he manages just fine. Andrew frowns some more, and sighs, again. He looks everywhere but at Neil. He's ashamed. Sad. He's uncomfortable. But, he tells himself, he said yes, and this is Neil, and Neil would never hurt him on purpose. And he wants this. He wants to talk about it. And isn't it so crazy, that Andrew Minyard is going to talk about himself? And that someone will listen to him? Just because this is what they both want?

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not perfect. And even more contrary to popular belief, I am aware of that. I know that I'm not the most pleasant person to be around. I was thinking about it, these days, you know, with the legal paperwork and that. I guess I want to change a bit. For the better"

It's nice, to say it to someone who isn't Bee. It's nice, to look into Neil's eyes and see the millions of emotions running under them. It's nice, to know that 14-yo Andrew Doe would never believe he can say those words to someone. It's nice, to know that 20-yo Andrew Minyard would never want to say those words to someone. It's nice, to be Andrew Minyard-Josten, and simply sit on the sofa and talk things through with his lover. It's nice, to have a lover he actually loves, and wants, and chooses.

Neil leans in, and he mutters the question, and Andrew says yes because he fucking wants to and not because someone is holding a knife to his throat or something like that. They kiss, slowly, with feelings and all that sappy bullshit Andrew Doe wanted to have. They kiss, kindly, and they're so close that Andrew Minyard would have a panic attack and lash out. They kiss.

Then they take a break to breathe. Andrew asks and Neil says no, whispering and chuckling like an idiot, and Andrew may be blushing from the heat of the moment, but he moves away from Neil because they're both safe here. Safe to say yes. Safe to say no.

"I just- I want my question. Ask me again after that"

Andrew doesn't really need to think this one through. His mouth moves before his brain does, vomiting his biggest worry at the moment.

"If you could, what would you... change, in me?"

It's a question he never planned on saying. It feels weird. Like someone else, some lovey dovey married moron, said it. But perhaps that's the kinda person he's becoming. After all, to be loved is to evolve, or something like that.

Neil hums in silence, and Andrew is AJ, Andrew Doe, Andrew Minyard and a ball of anxiety all at once, and then, "Well, full honesty? There's something I'm fucking tired of. I think it's utter bullshit"

And he gets down on one knee. And they didn't do this. They did the legal paperwork, but never this, not this, and Andrew can feel his heart stopping and his idiot of a soon-to-be-again husband has absolutely no ring but that's fine, that's fine because he has Andrew's heart and what else can they fuckin need?

"Andrew Minyard Josten. Yes, or no?"

He never planned this. He never even allowed himself to dream about this, but, God, he's earned it. He wants this, and the "technically" thing was getting old and the sun is coming from the windows and Neil looks somewhat like an angel and they're thirty already and isn't this so weird when did they turn thirty he never planned to make it this far and it's like ten am already and neither one of them's had an actual breakfast and they're both in pajamas and-

"Yes"

And they go back to the whole kissing thing.

[bisexualchaosdemon]

What if Neil was trans and had a baby after Mary died?

I've seen a few atfg fics where Neil has a sibling or kid but all the ones I've read were heavily influenced by Mary's presence. It got me thinking about what it would be like if she wasn't around when the kid came into the picture. I wrote a little prologue, lemme know if it's something you guys might wanna read.

**trigger warning: mentions of SA, forced pregnancy, and traumatic childbirth**

Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing

🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵Prologue🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

When Neil was fourteen, his father caught up to them in Seattle and he got separated from Mary. Nathan went after Mary and a couple of his men went after Neil. While they were apart, Neil was raped for the first time and Mary was beaten for the last time. Somehow, they both escaped, managing to reunite at one of their emergency rendezvous and take off running.

That's where their luck ran out though because they only made it to California before Mary's injuries finally bested her. In the end, his mother couldn't go on but she made Neil promise to keep running because one of them had to make it. With no other choice, Neil burned her body, buried her ashes on the beach, and did what he had promised.

Then, impossibly, things went from bad to worse — After a month of just sort of drifting in his grief, Neil found out he was pregnant.

He had no way out this one, there was no backdoor to slip through or bus to catch. He couldn't risk someone contacting the police or social services when a fourteen-year-old turned up at a clinic to request an abortion without parental consent. And, even if they weren't incredibly dangerous, any illegal methods for a termination risked Nathan tracking him down. So, with no choice but to keep the pregnancy, he spent the next eight months jumping from place to place, trying to remain out of sight whenever possible. And he hated every minute of it.

He spent the entirety of his pregnancy terrified and alone, and he gave birth alone too. He hadn't been able to see any doctors or go to a hospital for obvious reasons. He tried his best to have a healthy pregnancy but the research he had managed to do on childbirth was extremely limited. He didn't even know what was happening really before he ended up giving birth in a back ally somewhere — fourteen years old and completely alone.

The baby hadn't cried at first and Neil had never been more terrified than he had been in those few seconds. That first cry brought a relief heavy enough to break him completely. His plan the whole time had been to give the baby up, just leave them at a fire station somewhere and pray they'd have a better life than he did. He thought about it a thousand times but every time he looked at his daughter's face, and he just couldn't do it. He couldn't give her up. He didn't want to be alone again.

So he picked himself up, skipped town with his daughter craddled close, and decided to do the one thing he had always wanted; He cut off all of his hair, taped down his chest and started telling people he was a boy. He had always felt like being a girl wasn't right for him but he never dared voice this while on the run with his mother. Without her controling everything though, he was free to do this one thing for himself, and he hoped it might even help him stay hidden. More importantly, it helped him reclaim part of himself he thought he lost after the rape and pregnancy.

The first few years, they moved around a lot because Neil was always worried someone would start to notice the teenager and baby without parents anywhere in sight. However, when his daughter was almost three, they ran a ground in Millport, a dying town where they could squat in an empty house unnoticed. Neil just needed a moment to breathe. So, he got an ID that said he was eighteen which let him go to high school and play Exy without anyone needing to speak to his parents. Then he forged the signatures of their fictional parents to get his daughter enrolled in preschool and after school childcare for the days he had practice. Finally, he got them phones for emergencies and pretended to be his mother any time someone called.

He became Neil and he gifted his daughter his middle name, Anastasia, and on paper they became the Josten siblings.

He knew they would need to pack up and leave soon enough, but he was exhausted and he just wanted Ana to have a semi-normal life for a year. He'd clear out after graduation and figure out where to go from there. But just as their time in Millport is running out, in walks David Wymack with an offer that's too dangerous to trust but too impossible to leave behind...

[foxufortunes]

So like, just to put my previous post about the Raven's undefeated streak, how game wise it's a nonsense and championship wise it makes a little more sense, into context and to expand my thoughts on it. Let's look at lacrosse. NCAA DV1 men's lacrosse has been going for around 50years now. So actually it was formed just a little before exy was invented and if we take Nora's confusing timeline, anywhere from a few years to 10 years before NCAA exy was approved. So, they're about the same age actually.

In that time there have been 14 teams who didn't lose a single match during a season, the record being 18 teams in a season (this makes the lacrosse championships closer to the exy fall season in scale). These notably, all came in as either #1 or #2 seeds. And of these teams only 2 have ever managed consecutive undefeated seasons. These are also the two teams with the most championships (Syracuse with 10 and Johns Hopkins with 9). Syracuse has the highest win percentage of 0.691 while John Hopkins is 4th on that list with 0.651. And the most championships any team has won in a row is 3.

With pro lacrosse, the longest undefeated winning streak is 22 games, and the most titles won by one team is 6 and the highest win percentage is 0.603.

Now, if we look at the Ravens. To be generous we'll only count the five years the Foxes have been up and running, when college exy is fully funded and exy players are some of the highest payed athletes in the world and their stadiums are some of the biggest in the world, and exy is an Olympic sport. And to match up a bit better with the lacrosse size, we'll only count the fall season and assume the distract the Ravens transferred from is roughly the same size and the SE District. With those perimeters that is an undefeated streak of 75 games, 5 championships and a win percentage of 1. (And overall, if we're generous and ignore the finer details of Nora's time line, and say NCAA exy has been in full swing for let's say 15 years and still restrict it to 15 matches for the fall season, that's still a conservative estimate of 15 titles in a row and a 225 game winning streak).

The idea that even this far in the two biggest competitors with massive, well funded teams, and (if I remember Nora's extra content correctly) who got in on the ground floor just a little after college exy was created (wasn't the first ever college exy game between EA and one of the big 3? I'm not looking at the EC sheet right now, forgive me but the timeline on exy is shaky anyway), have never won even a single game by a single point or in shoot outs, is utterly ridiculous. Sure, I could by they're undefeated as champions, but never a single game lost ever is ridiculous. And counter intuitive to the spread of your game. Not only are fans not interested in a sport where they know the outcome (in both well funded and less popular sports, this usually leads to fans either turning off or paying attention to lower leagues) but especially in small unpopular sports, there's a sense that you need to spread the talent around to make the sport interesting so people will watch it. For a sport just starting out like exy was back in the day, the idea that one team will always come out on top is a death sentence. Like, even the best teams in the world sometimes play teams they're supposed to beat easily and take them too lightly and lose (actually this is stupidly common and probably the sort of thing the Foxes would face all the time, and partly how some bottom of the league teams have done what the Foxes have done and won the entire seasons yes, looking at you Leicester Foxes winning at 5000-1 that one season.) and even if we like to pretend it's not a part of sport, bad days do actually happen and sometimes your team just plays a nightmare game or the other team just pops off and is at 110% and there is just nothing you can do.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Happy Wednesday, Aerie! I'm loving the Mer Roadtrip AU, you're an incredible writer <3 I can't wait to see Neil's daring escape. Angel Neil for this week, as always, and I hope it gives you less trouble this week. I'm slowly collecting more questions I come up with about the AU in a silly little text file, so one day I can send you another ask (yes, Angel Neil consumes my thoughts on occasion). I hope you have a lovely week (even if it sometimes feels hard to get anything done, there's always the next day, yk?)

WIP Wednesday (5/8) | Guardian Angel Neil AU (Part 185)

On Friday night, Andrew finds himself perched on the back of the couch waiting for everyone else to put the finishing touches on their atrocious costumes. Well, he and Kevin are already done, but Nicky is debating whether he should wear the eyepatch that came with his pirate-suit.

“I sincerely think it’s a bad idea,” Kevin says from beside Andrew. He is sitting on the couch the correct way, but looking over the back of it at Nicky. He looks completely normal, his ‘costume’ even worse than Andrew’s. And sure to be lost by the end of the night. “I mean, you’re driving.”

“I think he could get us there with it on,” Andrew says, grinning. “It would be a fun challenge for you.”

“No, Kevin’s right,” Nicky says, tossing the strip of fabric onto the counter. “Besides, it would mess up my makeup.”

“I can’t believe that’s the problem you have with it,” Kevin mutters. But Andrew understands Nicky’s concern. His eyeshadow actually looks sort of good, a lot of smoky black with a bit of orange glitter mixed in. Andrew doesn’t know makeup terms. He’s never worn it himself, except for a tiny bit of eyeliner he tried once in Cass’s bathroom. He scrubbed it off immediately after.

“I can’t believe your costume is a tiny piece of plastic in your pocket,” Nicky pouts.

Kevin sighs. “Why would I pay forty bucks for a shitty cape and a vial of fake blood when the plastic fangs suffice? It makes no sense to spend a lot of money for one night!”

“You’ll get married in an exy uniform, won’t you?” Nicky asks, shaking his head. The parrot pinned to his shoulder flops around a bit making the bird look drunk. “I mean, you’re almost as bad as Andrew over here.”

Andrew is offended. He would never get married in an exy anything. He wouldn’t get married, period.

“At least my costume is visible,” Andrew says, pointing to the top of his head where sits a headband with a couple of pokey little horns sticking out of his hair.

“Barely,” Nicky tuts. “You need a haircut, you can barely see them. Where’s the tail?”

“I am not wearing something that sticks off my ass. Ever. Especially not at Eden’s.” Andrew says, holding his hands up. “Kevin, would you like to borrow it?”

“No,” Kevin snaps. “The teeth are fine.”

[ratgingi]

literally all of jacksons friends are like. infinitely cooler looking than he is. anyway rejoice !!!!!!!!!! exie be upon ye

exie is usually pretty nice up until she isnt, as shes got a bit of a short fuse and her emotions change up very easily, sometimes bouncing around even within the same conversation

she is the other worker at the arcade, she's meetable in chapter one and assumes that the player is a cosplayer/something similar and compliments them on their 'costume making skills'

she was going to be dateable at one point !!!!!!!!! but doesnt actually have anything she needs help with in life really. shes pretty happy with where she is

she used to be pretty self conscious about her physical appearance (being pretty tall + thin + lanky) and occasionally will struggle with it some but for the most part she trained herself into better thinking habits by faking way over the top confidence, she still uses it nowadays as a means to make others laugh/lighten moods and boost herself as well

shes very careful about her box, she HAS to keep it plugged into her head at all times as it sends signals to her brain that keep her heart pumping + lungs breathing + etc etc, shes lived with it ever since she was a little kid and if she becomes unplugged for more than a minute or so she'll die, she refers to it as being on 'life support'

she has a group of friends she keeps in contact with online that live a couple states away, and sort of remain her main friend group aside from her coworkers

likes to jokingly jab at her friends with silly / nonsensical remarks (think 'your mama so crumb strong ants took her away forever' and "L + ratio" type shit)

while very intelligent when it comes to computers (which are her special interest), she doesnt have much of a braincell elsewhere, at least not when directly interacting with other people, since she mostly just wants to act silly while with others

she spent a lot of time bedbound while younger and thanks to that had a lot of time on her hands, which she put towards messing with computers and code

the wedding ring she wears was something a dude traded her for a quarter so that he could play air hockey. she tells people it belongs to her long lost lover. also, the only thing she keeps in the fanny pack is a pen she stole from an ex coworker before he got fired

she usually has her screen displaying some sort of aesthetic-ish screensaver, but she also likes using it to display reaction memes when she gets the opportunity

she has a last name but shed sooner unplug her box than tell you what it is. she knows she could change it if she really wanted but part of her finds it too funny to let go of

this is her main/causal outfit, however shed probably never be seen in it in game, as you only ever really meet her in the arcade in her uniform currently

[deadpool1763492]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Last Ronin: The Lost Years #1 spoilers below the cut. Read at your own risk.

Edit: Just bought my physical copy yay me

Okay, I may or may not have ended up reading that issue in 10 minutes because I was so goddamn excited, so here are some of my initial notes from it following my first read through. I will be keeping images out of this post just because the issue was released less than half an hour after I'm writing this. Buy yourself a copy because this story is amazing!

1. "Get up, foolish child!"

So, this line came up a few times in this issue, namely from Splinter, who is saying it to Michelangelo in the midst of battle. It's interesting to see that he's calling Mikey foolish for not wanting to fight anymore.

I can't tell what I think about Master Splinter in this series. Yes, he reminds Mikey that he's not alone in this war and that he will always have his family by his side, but he also says things like, "This is what I have trained you for all your life" and "I will not leave you here to meet a coward's death". It's bittersweet, in a way. Mikey just wants to stop fighting; it was a theme throughout the initial Last Ronin storyline, as well. There's a reason why it ends with "know peace".

And then we cut to Casey, April and Casey's daughter, training the four new turtles we were teased at the end of Last Ronin #5, also yelling "get up" at them during training. I guess this line is going to be a sort of motif throughout the series, this idea of getting up no matter how many times you're knocked down. It's a good lesson, of course, but, as shown through Splinter and the entirety of the first series, it's clear that it has its consequences.

2. The New Turtles

It seems that this series is taking a page from Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in having these four new characters be different species of turtles, which is really interesting. Like I said before, I'll be keeping images out of this post for now just for the sake of having other people read the story themselves (and copyright, of course), but I'll list the names of these turtles and what I can gather of their personalities just from the few panels we have of them.

Odyn — He's the biggest of the four at the moment, and all we really know about him is that he's apparently always hungry and he's not a big fan of tai chi because it's "too hard". So, not a big fan of training in general and possibly even fighting altogether, which could prove interesting in the future.

Uno — He's the showoff out of the four of them. He seems physically gifted and enjoys training, whether that be with the others or on his own. He also seems to believe he's better than the others from what I can gather, and doesn't seem to get along well with Moja, who I will get to next.

Moja — She's looks like the short-tempered defender of the group, seeming really similar to Raphael in some ways. She is quick to defend Odyn when Uno makes fun of him, and picks a fight with Uno when he doesn't seize the teasing. Unlike Uno, however, she seems to show a lot of respect towards April and owns up to her mistakes quickly.

Yi — From what I can go off of (which isn't exactly much, considering how little we got of these four), she's the Donatello of the group. She seems pretty calm and collected for the most part, and apparently loves spending time with April in the garage "fixing" things. I just hope she isn't some carbon copy of Donnie and has her own personality, albeit similar to his.

Speaking of similarities, that brings me to my third and final thought when reading this issue.

3. Change is Constant

Did I steal that from the first IDW arc? Who's to say.

So, this theme has been in the franchise for as long as it has existed. I mean, the first episode of 2003 is literally titled "Things Change". It's the idea that life always comes with its twists and turns and that there's no predicting exactly what will happen next. We can't control the universe, we simply exist within it. Empires rise and they fall. That's just life. You can't hold on to something forever because that's how you let that thing consume you. "Know peace," as Michelangelo stated.

Then we get to these four new turtles. Casey never really knew the original four outside of stories told by her mother, which caused these ideas of heroic martyrs to be put into the kid's head all her life. Because of this, her goal with these new turtles is to probably forge them into their predecessors' images. The problem with that is, of course, that's not really how life works.

These kids have big shoes to fill. That much is obvious. I mean, look at the original turtles. They trained their entire life to fight in a war against the Foot Clan. As teenagers, they went to space, they traveled to different universes, they fought other mutants and the US government and so much more. I can bet you that this legacy will come into play in this story, and not exactly in a good way.

Odyn, Uno, Moja, and Yi are not Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo. They know this. Casey and April know this. We as an audience know this. What that means, however, is that we should not be putting them into boxes to fit the former turtles. Casey is trying to mold them into her heroes, and April no doubt is probably unconsciously doing the same just because she misses them just as much, but that could be pretty awful for these new guys. Think of it as growing up with an amazing older sibling or family member in general. All your life, you end up just trying to be like that one person, so much so you end up neglecting who you might be. I'm guessing individuality is going to be a big focus of this story, as well.

Well, that's my initial thoughts on this issue. I've been waiting a while for this, and, as a long-time fan of this franchise, I'm so excited to see what comes next in the story. I love how we're finally branching off to new characters and possibly new storylines altogether, all inspired by the original story. Now to wait a month for the next issue. I'll see you all then!

[fallenstarzz]

1 3 and 4 for the ask game!! - maridayurno

Thank you @dayurno for the questions and giving me a reason to look away from AutoCad becuase college was driving me insane. Anyway

1. last sentence you wrote

Alright, thing is, last thing I wrote was an edit in the middle of a chapter, so can't be really sure. However, I THINK it might have been this one (technically 3 but it was the middle one so it makes no sense without a bit of context):

When Aaron's door closes, Andrew says, eyes still on his book:

"That was just strike three."

3. how do you feel about your current wip

I have like. Five current wips. But going for the one I used to answer the previous questions: it is my baby, dead men walking. It's the fic that made me truly come back into the fandom (I was just gonna lurk betaing Nani @queer-lovebot otherwise), and that prompted me to reread the books last year. I am so proud of everything I have planned for it, and I think every single sentence I write on it is the smartest bestest thing ever written, unless I get something so factually wrong I spend five months away from it in shame of having to go back and correct like half of a 3k pov. In my defense, it HAD been five years, how the fuck was I supposed to remember that the Twinyards backstory had this many details.

Anyone it's going to be so over for you guys once this drops in uuuuuh 8-24 months at least.

Here are some Nani reactions to the (now finally fucking finished I hope) prologue the quote was from, that made me feel very evil and very proud:

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

Again, it's gonna be hard picking just one, but… The unwritten apple of my eye right now is nowhere girls, a Dan/Renee AU that came to be because I read Dan's EC and the potential was so blinding my dick exploded. Anyway, it's a no-Exy world, so they were soccer rivals in school instead and didn't manage to get any scholarships, and it's kind of a bad ending for them both in the sense they don't have the Foxes as that groudind presence. Dan is juggling community college, her strip club job and also occasional shifts at a diner. Renee is feeling kind of lost after graduation, and maybe sort of joins an underground fight club as a way to manage her anger. Dan recognizes her at the diner and tries to avoid her, up until Renee starts showing up with bruises, and trying to intervene leads to Renee inviting her to the fight club. Homoeroticism ensues. Seth and Allison run rival betting rings. Matt is also going to show up eventually.

The title was inspired by this part of the Dan EC:

I have listened to brutal by Olivia Rodrigo and thought about Them like daily ever since I came up with the idea.

I also included the first sentence to this in that challenge a few weeks back, but I'll tell you a trade secret: I made that one up on the spot because I thought the number of actual wips I had started was kinda sad and I wanted to do it anyway. Really liked it though, so it's staying :)

[ashiemochi]

pussidon - ACT II | xv

✠ Pussidon ↳ sounds like trouble ↳↳ can we eat it?

➶ pairing: OC x Leon S(exy) Kennedy. ➶ genre: fluff, angst, gore, smut/suggestive themes ➶ word count: no

NOTE: ✠ = time skip ✠✠ = switching povs/characters

prev -> next

“Leon! So Ah! Are you alright!?”

“Yeah…” Leon spoke gravely, “But things just got bad. Real bad!”

So Ah took in a shuddered breath, lips parted silently as she watched the innocent citizens beginning to make the run for it. They were screaming in terror, some tripping, children being left behind, soldiers being eaten by ravaging zombies who learned to run and jump and So Ah felt useless. 

This was part of their mission; she had it as a list in her head.

- Get to China.

- Detain Simmons.

- Don’t fuck up.

Yet, they fucked it up. She really needed to find out why every mission with Leon must be on a crazy amount of steroids – it was like his luck was in a constant state of screaming all ape shit like ‘GO STUPID. GO CRAZY.’

“Chris, listen to me.” Leon pushed on, watching apprehensively the lost fallen soldiers of the BSAA and the poor people, “I need you to rescue two hostages from an underwater oil field. Agent Sherry Birkin… And Jake Muller; he’s Albert Wesker’s son.”

“...Wesker?” Chris’s voice came in shocked and low.

So Ah pressed her two fingers into her earpiece, “Chris, he’s got antibodies for the C-Virus.”

“... I got it. On my way.” Chris answered, knowing she felt some sort of ‘hey-relating-to-Jake-now!’ considering her situation with her loathed virus. 

She had to kill her own close family friend – and here Chris was, ironically going to rescue the son of the man he killed. The same son who was the only way to save the world – or his blood was. 

Talk about irony. Whoever created this universe has a weird thing with twisted cliches and ironies. Like, a fetish kind of weird. 

(Author: It’s just bizarre. Moving on.)

“Good. Thanks.” Leon nodded and went to cut the call but Chris continued. 

“Wait, Leon. There’s something I need to tell you.”

So Ah knew that tone in Chris’s voice. The same tone you’d use when you’d have some really bad news – like unbelievably, heart-breaking, lung-shattering, bad news. The tone that held so much empathy and sympathy and a buttload of pity. The tone you’d hear at the hospital in the ER section. 

The one where your loved one would be– 

“Ada Wong is dead.”

Yeah, that tone.

So Ah’s eyes widened softly, looking over at Leon only to see him speechless. It wasn’t new for him to keep losing people close to him, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. If this was the same ‘Ada’ Leon had let the BSAA take care of, then high chance it wasn’t truly Ada who had died. 

Then again, this was Ada. 

Leon’s eyes trailed to the ground, his arm dropping to his side slowly. His prettypretty azuls connected to So Ah’s hand reaching for his to offer her comfort yet he didn’t look at her. His voice came out quiet and hurt.

“Copy…” Leon muttered, letting his gaze go to her arm, “Sherry and Jake need you. Don’t let them down.”

The call ended, turning to silence as Helena frowned at Leon, “Are you okay?”

So Ah glanced at her then up at Leon, bringing her other hand to gently caress his arm then she tensed up a little when she felt his hand twist around to hold onto hers, squeezing it tenderly.

Leon looked at Helena, seemingly focused on the mission (which honestly just seems to be getting longer and more complicated) and putting his ‘Is she really deaddead or??’ grief aside. 

“Let’s just find the survivors and get the hell outta here.”

✠

“Echo to HQ! Can you read me?”

“HQ to Echo! Report!”

Luckily for So Ah, she still had access to the BSAA’s intercom.

Unluckily though, she didn’t want HQ yelling in her ear – not when they’ve got their dirty hands on her spine and whereabouts. After brief tapping on her device, she patched Leon’s and Helena’s earpieces to the connection.

It might be illegal and out of pocket but considering the circumstances, it was the only way.

“Hey!” The familiar voice boomed and So Ah found the soldier urging them down the stairs, “What the hell are you guys doing over there?! We need to evacuate, come on!”

“They need our help.” So Ah suggested, gesturing to the blue fog and Leon gave her a firm nod, agreeing with her before rushing down the stairs. 

“We detected traces of the C-Virus in the gas. Looks like the same gas that hit Tall Oaks. Tatchi has gone to hell. We’re trying to get it under control but… Shit!”

“My god…” Helena trailed away, picking up on the thick fog from down the street to her left. 

“We’re moving in to search for surviving evacuees.” The BSAA soldier said into his radio. 

So Ah got to him first, slowing down to a stop with furrowed brows when he turned to face her. She couldn’t see his face, being covered by military clothing and helmet but his eyes were free to see – the same ones she saw back in Tall Oaks. Both of them blinked at each other, surprised. 

“Logan?”

“Agent Han?” The soldier – Logan – said, his greens widening from behind his goggles, looking behind her as Leon and Helena stopped close-by, “I thought you were back in Washington.”

“Well, I was.” So Ah said, “But we had to come here to turn Simmons in–”

“Derek C. Simmons? The National Security Advisor? Why?”

“Not the point.” So Ah shook her head, interrupting him before her hand went to his arm, nervousness and worry replacing her tone, “Is Minji safe?”

Logan nodded, “Safe and sound. She and her son reached the base in one piece.” 

Tears nearly sprung to her eyes in relief, almost keeling over when she sighed out heavily, nodding to herself. Minji was safe – that was all that mattered. So Ah gave him a grateful smile. 

“Thank you.” 

“It’s no problem, Agent Han. Now,” Logan gestured to one of the driving military cars, “Let’s get you three out of here – it’s not safe.”

Leon stepped in, “We wanna help.”

So Ah glanced at the agents behind her and nodded, giving Logan a determined look, “Yeah. I owe you.”

Logan seemed hesitant, noticing his team was scattered, some not even moving anymore. He had worked with So Ah a few times on the field, and he knew she was more than capable – but he also knew that she was a valuable asset to the BSAA. 

Not his words. 

He sighed, nodding at them, “Alright. Come on.”

✠

“We’re taking a detour to the Quad Tower.”

The agents ran after Logan, leading them up the stairs into a store of some kind. A soldier by the door shut it when they went in. So Ah shivered at the sight of the fog clouding the window walls, seeing zombies run by and chasing unfortunate people. 

“You okay?” Logan asked the soldier, “What’s it like out there?”

“All I can see is a shitstorm.” The soldier answered, shaking his head apprehensively at rotten creatures weakly hitting the windows, “And I don’t think that’s the half of it.”

Logan frowned deeply at this then turned to head up the stairs, informing the man, “We’re on our way back to the Quad Tower to check on the evacuees. We’ve got a vehicle out back if you wanna hitch a ride.”

“Logan, always the hero.” So Ah said lightly, earning a huff from him. 

During her BSAA days, Logan was always the one who sealed the escape route. It didn’t matter where he was – he’d constantly manage to find a way to get his team to safety. He was that great with maps and a hell of a driver. 

“Is there something I should know about you two?” Leon asked with a raised brow, clearly feigning jealousy as she jogged up the stairs. 

“Just the fact he can drive.” She smiled.

Helena snorted at that, especially when Leon’s brows shot up in disbelief. 

The glass wall broke in, allowing rabid zombies and the gas to come in. That sent So Ah’s adrenaline to spiral when one of the zombies nearly took a chunk out of Logan’s face. 

✠

“Take cover!” So Ah shouted, a fire grenade in her hand.

Leon and Helena rushed out of the way as Logan narrowly dodged the lick of fire when the whole platform erupted into flames.

“Oh, fuck, who gave her a bomb?!” Logan yelled. 

Leon and Helena pointed at each other as So Ah beamed when the zombies had dieddied down just in time for the other soldiers to open the gate out.

✠

The agents and Logan successfully reached the car, but not without the last few soldiers sacrificing their lives for them. Leon hopped in the passenger seat with So Ah and Helena at the back. 

The drive was excruciatingly slow, Logan having to take it easy as to not ram the car into a wall with how dense the fog was. The zombies were scattered on and about, some even attempting to tip the vehicle over to no avail. 

Seeing the horror outside, So Ah felt more uneasy. Her anxiety nagged her, trying to convince her that Minji and Jiwoo may have gotten into trouble of some sort. This was a viral outbreak, what makes them think that anyone in the world was safe?

As HQ ordered for Echo team to fall back, So Ah fished out her phone from her pocket. She tried to turn it on only for her face to fall when water was still dripping from its sockets. Not even the screen was lighting up – this was the second phone she loses due to inconveniently having to swim for her life. She was seriously going to be asking for a waterproof one at this point. 

“Damn it…” So Ah muttered under her breath, catching Helena’s attention.

“What is it?” Helena whispered, not wanting to be loud as if it would alert the flesh-eating zombies outside. 

“My phone’s dead…” So Ah answered, bringing her hand up to rub the back of her neck nervously, “Ah, I wanted to call my sister…”

“Agent Han,” Logan tried to reassure her, glancing at her through the rearview mirror, “Your sister is fine. Trust me.”

“Yeah, but a little check-up doesn’t hurt…” So Ah trailed away, sad eyes set on her phone with a subtle pout on her plumplum lips, “Was she… You know…”

Logan looked at her through the mirror once again, knowing she was mentioning the argument back in Tall Oaks. Exhaling through his nose, he returned his eyes back to the road. 

“She was quiet the whole flight. She didn’t accept any offered refreshments but her kid did,” Logan informed her, slowly making a right turn, speeding up just a little to avoid being surrounded by the creatures, “Your parents didn’t like how you didn’t come with her.”

So Ah huffed lightly, sinking back into her seat with folded arms, bringing up her shoulders to her face like a kid whose parents never listened to. Her phone felt cold on her thighs, making her shiver a little.

“They’re my parents.” She muttered, trailing her eyes to the window, “Of course, they won’t like it.”

So Ah’s parents were loving, truly – it was just a matter of fear. The cunning side of the BSAA took advantage of her mother’s anxious behaviour with her little daughter being out in the field of rotten monsters and death. They were quick to suggest inputting a tracker on their daughter, lying that she’d be kept safe and ‘It’d be for the best.’

While her mother was well aware of the tracker, all the so-called check-ups were hidden from the family as a whole. So Ah was able to escape her lab rat days when she had transferred to the DSO. She truly hoped that meant the BSAA’s chains were no longer on her – but that was all just a feeble dream. 

The Han family was still under the protection of the BSAA – meaning So Ah too was under surveillance as well. There were horrible horrible days when she would stand under a hot sizzling shower directed right over her nape as a weak attempt to overheat the device and cause it to crack. 

She wanted it off – she just didn’t know how or with what. Not to mention, she was sure it was provided with a system that’d trigger the self-destruction sequence and paralyze her in an instant if she were to try and pry it off. 

A quick glance at the back of Leon’s form was more than enough to make her heart clench into itself. 

The engagement was all about trust – she trusted him with her life, but she didn’t know if he’d still see her the same. 

Leon turned his upper body to look at her from over his shoulder, tone soft and consoling, “Hey, at least she’s safe, right?”

“Yeah, take it from me,” Helena chimed in, “Your sister may be upset now but she’ll realize it’s all for her safety. Besides,” Helena gave her a small smile, setting a hand on her shoulder, “She doesn’t seem like the kind to hold a grudge.”

HM.

“You think so?” So Ah questioned, cinnamons beginning to sting under the sisterly gaze Helena had, similar to Minji. 

Helena nodded, smiling, “I know so.”

So Ah shrugged her shoulders subtly, feeling a tad overwhelmed as she looked over at Leon who gave her a loving and comforting gaze. His lips held onto a reassuring smile.

✠

“This is as far as I can get you.” Logan slowed down the car to a halt once they were out of the thick blue gas, “The tower is right up ahead – you guys keep going. I’m gonna head back and try to find what’s left of my team.”

“Thank you so much, Logan.” So Ah smiled gratefully, following Helena when she got out of the car. They slammed the door shut as Leon gave Logan a thankful stare. 

“Be careful, alright?”

“Always.” Logan gave him a firm nod. 

The road was blocked up by a bunch of crashed cars, meaning they’d have to jump over it. As So Ah tried to find a spot to start climbing up, the voice of Logan calling for his team echoed in the back. 

“Leon!” So Ah called out for her fiance, finding him and Helena shooting the distant approaching zombies coming from through the dense fog. 

Leon glanced at her, seeing her gesture to the barricade and he returned his gun to his holster, silently urging Helena to follow him. Leon stopped in front of the cars, linking his fingers together and lowering himself a bit. 

So Ah went first, sitting on top of the car on her knee. Helena went second and both of them helped Leon up. The Han girl took the time to catch her breath, rolling her shoulders as she looked at them with a nervous smile. 

“No going back, right?”

A gloved big hand reached over to grab hers, giving her a gentle squeeze and Leon had a somewhat confident look on his face. 

“No going back.”

With one final exhale, the three of them jumped off the truck, landing on the ground. So Ah took her Matilda out, mimicking Helena and Leon as they gave the new area a quick scan. From what she could see, there was another blocked road but fairly easy to climb over. 

The tiny hairs at the back of her neck stood up at the sudden sense of dread. A loud screeching noise followed by a truck horn rung in her ears, and she nearly got a whiplash when she turned to see a giant truck heading their way. 

The agents sprung into action, leaping out of the way. A small ‘hmph’ came from So Ah when the rough wet street road was there to greet her. Leon snapped his eyes at the trickling gasoline from the, unfortunately enough, gas truck. It was steadily but surely getting close to a small live fire. 

A silent hitched breath came from the girls and they quickly tried to get up but the fire erupted explosively. The force of the boom sent all three agents to one of the cars, the hit knocking them all out in an instant. So Ah’s body tried to move and heal up, but she couldn’t do anything. 

The last thing she felt before she succumbed to darkness was the subtle crackles of the tracker underneath her skin.

“Hey, uhm… Can I ask a question?” So Ah asked the lab doctor, watching him write something on his clipboard of paper. 

“Of course, Han.” The doctor replied, not looking up at her as he skimmed over the MRI scans’ reports he wrote a while before. 

“It’s about the thing…” So Ah reached to the back of her neck, wincing slightly at the raw skin of the stitches, feeling her flesh gradually close up as if they didn’t have her spinal cord out in the open just a few hours ago. 

“Why do I have to have it?”

“They’re orders from the higher-ups,” The doctor answered, using his pen to point up, “It’ll keep us updated on any alterations that may happen with the virus without us knowing.”

“... Right.” So Ah looked back down at her hands, staring in discomfort at them as if staring directly at the virus. 

The doctor looked up from his clipboard, seeing her form and he sighed sorrowfully. He set his plastic gloved one over hers, giving her a knowing look of reassurance. 

“It’s for the best, Miss Han.���

[aemiron-main]

Hey!! I just wanna say that i adore your analysis posts!!! Like your brain!!!!?? How do you even think of these???/pos

Literally adore how detailed and thouroghly explained these are, and the fact that you pay so much attention and thought to mike's character is honestly so nice. (He's my favorite character and not a lot of people appreciate his complexity like you do)

Your recent post about my mike's guilt over his queerness made me lost my mind man!!! Literally like JAIL JAIL

Thinking about how like Mike feels a sort of guilt for his feelings for Will. AND OMG the way you said that "him asking Will he's the bad guy cause he doesn't why either" IS SO GOOD!!!! CAUSE YES!! if you're don't look into it deep enough, it sort of comes off as condescending or retorical, but Mike is LEGITAMATELY ASKING THAT!!! HE DOESN'T KNOW!! He feels so helpless that at this point, he's rather Will just blame it on him cause he doesn't even know what's done wrong!!!

The thing with the wheeler's household is like you said!! "They don't tell each other what they've done wrong!!" And that's so important when it comes to your kids, cause they NEED to know what they've done wrong, you NEED to tell them in order for them to learn and grow as a person.

But they don't do that, so that manifests as smth that Mike has, which is just unrelentless guilt for everything regardless of what he thinks is his fault or not cause even if it wasn't obvious, it still is right?, he thinks that everything he does is to blame. Because then what else?? He doesn't know how to recognize faults cause he's never been taught to!!

It's always "you should know better" and people expect him to know what's he done wrong instead of COMMUNICATING!!! and so he internalizes that which makes it even worst.

Cause now it's not "Oh i'm to blame for everything" now it's "I'm to blame for everything AND i can't even figure WHY either"

Anyways i'm rambling and probably not making sense, but like it was fun rambling about him. LOVE YOUR POSTS KEEP IT UP!! :DD

AAAAAAAAAAAA HELLO ANON OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!! THATS SO SWEET OF YOU!! i honestly have no idea how i think of it, the spirit of stranger things just possesses me and then i black out and write analysis LMAO (seriously though my brain just loves spotting patterns and i love analysis and sometimes i just stare at random screenshots/scenes until my brain puts some random puzzle piece together)! AND THANK YOU AGAIN OMG??? IM SO GLAD YOU THINK I APPRECIATE HIS COMPLEXITY BC I LOVE HIM SM TOO HIM AND WILL ARE MY FAVES AND JUST AAAAAA!!! <3 <3 <3

ABJFFJBH IM SORRY IM TAKING MYSELF IN!! LOCKING MYSELF UP FOR THAT POST!! AND YES YES YOU SEE THE VISION YES MIKE IS LEGIT ASKING THAT AND IT ALMOST SEEMS CONDESCENDING BUT HES BEING GENUINE!! And the fact that will can't even give him an answer?? No wonder mike's so upset after that- will's unintentionally doing the same thing that mike's parents do, he's not answering Mike when mike asks what he did wrong. But will doesn't realize that mike's genuinely asking, he just thinks that mike's being snarky because he doesn't KNOW that mike DID try to call!! AND YES EXACTLY!!! KIDS NEED TO KNOW!! And yes yes YES you're so right about mike's guilt!! He's never been taught to recognize fault in the proper way, YES, that's such a good way of putting it!!!

"It's always "you should know better" and people expect him to know what's he done wrong instead of COMMUNICATING!!! and so he internalizes that which makes it even worst." EXACTLY!!! EXACTLY!! PEOPLE EXPECT HIM TO KNOW BETTER BUT NOBODYS EVER TAUGHT HIM!! YES!! "Cause now it's not "Oh i'm to blame for everything" now it's "I'm to blame for everything AND i can't even figure WHY either"" EXACTLY YES AGAIN TOTALLY!!! And in his mind, if he can't figure out WHY, then he can't figure out how to FIX IT either- which leads down a dangerous road of seeing himself as inherently the problem like his existence as the problem and so then the only way to fix his existence is to end it. AAA YOU MAKE TONS OF SENSE!! I LOVE UR THOUGHTS!!! and thank you so much i will DEFINITELY keep the posts up!! <3 <3 <3

[thespineoftherighteous]

ok wait but hc that Kevin quietly admires Matt and subtlety imitates some of the things he does

I mean Matt is clearly hella chill and confident and effortlessly cool- basically all things that are typically admired of an older brother. and Kevin knows that he himself is pretty intense, and though he doesn't give a shit if that bothers people on the court, he does appreciate Matt's generally more relaxed nature

(also, they do snap at each other as per Fox relationships but Matt is Good at exy- impressive even to Neil- and is hot shit and I am fully confident that bi disaster Kevin Day had at least a little phase where he crushed on Matt)

so just give me Kevin flipping his hat around to try and make it rest on his head the way Matt's does. or adjusting his posture on the couch to look more casual. or folding a bandana into a headband the way Matt does. or considering piercing his ears. or loosening his tie just that little bit and throwing his suit jacket over his shoulder with two fingers. or thinking about getting a manual truck before remembering he can't drive stick.

[aftgficrec]

Omg i finally caught u open! I’m searching for this one fic where neil is having a bad day and is constantly absent minded. The foxes are having dinner at abby’s house for thanksgiving or a party of some sort. Nicky accidentally bumps into a knife and instead of letting it drop neil catches it skillfully and everyone just stares. I’m pretty sure i read it from one of your posts but I lost it 😭

Some asks are immediately familiar, and we say ‘oh, it’s this!’ S has an amazing memory and will pull fic names from the ether like vintage Johnny Carson’s Carnac the Magnificent.

This time we zeroed in on two possibilities, but in one of them Neil’s injured by the falling blade. I’m recommending two more knife catching fics — because who doesn’t love this trope?? — and here’s our latest roundup of Neil with knife skills. -A

arrivals/departures by @triquetrine [Tumblr Fic, 5656 Words, 2020]

An explosion burst across the screen. Cars flipped and people dove for cover. The hero, undeterred, ran into the wreckage. Neil tilted his head slightly to the side, frowning. He didn’t get why everything had to be so dramatic, but he supposed that was just how movies worked.

tw: violence, tw: gun violence

Those That Broke Us by writethroughthenight [Rated T, 6652 Words, Complete, 2016]

"Neil doesn't talk about his mom and doesn't think about what she'd do to him if she saw him now. He has a family, he has Exy, and he has Andrew. He has more than enough, more than he ever could have dreamed of.

Neil doesn't talk about his mom until a warm fall day outside the locker room, waiting for the start of their game with his team and family. It's a place that she doesn't belong, where not even a memory of her belongs, but she wriggles her way in and takes root in his chest."

Or

Neil reveals, piece by piece, what life with his mom was like.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: dissociation, tw: blood

Neil catches Andrew’s knife

Deadly Affections by NikNak22 [Rated T, 12287 Words, Complete, 2020]

Neil Josten is not soft- has never been in fact. But when an unintended comment from one of the Foxes throws Neil for a loop, he finds himself reminding them why no one should think of him in that way. But why is Andrew suddenly so distant? And what happens when all of these reminders of his past start to catch up with him?

Aka: all the times Neil proved he was a badass, and Andrew reminds him he's an idiot.

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/non con, tw: gun violence, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: alcohol, tw: blood, tw: car accident, tw: dissociation

12 Ways to Woo a Minyard by NikNak22 [Rated M, 69292 Words, Complete, 2021]

Neil is a math nerd who, by a stroke of dumb luck, falls into a group of friends that are the closest thing to family he’s ever had. So, when he tells them about his new mysterious crush, he shouldn’t be surprised how immediately they come up with a plan to help win them over. One they insist that if Neil follows it, he’ll have them falling for him in no time. But things don’t always go to plan – or do they?

Nicky wants to set him up with someone else. Matt and Jeremy are confused but supportive. Allison and Seth offer lewd suggestions, while Dan does her best to keep everyone in line. Jean and Renee know something, Aaron doesn’t really care, and Kevin just wants Neil to join the lacrosse team.

But one thing’s for certain – whether Neil’s successful or not, everyone’s got money riding on this.

tw: panic attacks, tw: bullying, tw: negative self-talk, tw: negative body image, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: homophobia, tw: violence, tw: blood, tw: depression

[paradoxicalwishes]

look, i am not really sure who the HECK i am but i sure as HELL do know what Kevin Day is.

a legend. an icon. the best.

so, usually, tumblr has a very bad reception, but i might as well spill my guts here lmao. initially, when i read aftg for the first time, i did not focus on Kevin Day a lot; i was much too impatient to get on with his scenes and read about andrew or neil, and really, truthfully, i was so blinded by andrew, that i didn't really think about Kevin.

And i was swept up by this whole wave of people talking about Kevin as a, well, loser of sorts. sure, he was the greatest exy striker but really, that's all he was reduced to. exy and vodka, and the occasional history. i was happy to see that kevin in the background, but somehow something changed. and honestly, i've not done enough analysis to give y'all quotes or thought about headcanons, they never come to me, and i am so busy with my own irl shit that i cannot focus on aftg, but i just- i think that's why i started loving Kevin Day so much. it is not every day that we lose something that has anchored us our whole lives, and though my personal loss was quite small compared to his, i understood the bone deep strength it must have taken for him to carry on.

Kevin Day lost the one constant in his life, and he came out victorious. You know, we know him as an exy fanatic, and people assume it's his life, which i am sure that's correct, but it's, does he love it? or was it his only way to survive and then somehow, somehow it just became a part of him that he cannot ever separate from himself?

nicky had that conversation about exy not loving people back (did he? is this fanon, idk, but point still stands) but what about kevin?

i think i love kevin day so much because he just serves as a reminder. he sure as heck isn't healthy, but he's something alright. he didn't do it all alone, but i think he might as well have. others were a catalyst but not the spark.

Kevin Day needs so much more love, i cannot even begin to put all i have to say in words. so, i guess, this is more of a prelude to my rant (LOL)

tl;dr : i love kevin day too much and i am a mess whenever i try to speak about it.

[the-chicken-or-the-banana]

I always wondered how the foxes would react to finding out that it was andrew that "hit on" neil first (specially Kevin, since he was just standing right there while that happened)

(now, i don't think they would willing just talk about it but if one of them slip up...)

Btw: i absolutely adored the goodbye kisses series

AHHH sorry for being so MIA lately but i'm absolutely loving this! also i'm realizing that i'm very bad at actually getting to the point so enjoy a shit ton of irrelevant exposition :)

read it on ao3 here

— ··· —

Kevin didn't understand why they had to come to the zoo. It was smelly, there were kids screaming everywhere, and he'd nearly been stepped on three times in the past 10 minutes. He much rather preferred exy to this.

Team bonding sucked.

He trudged along beside Aaron as Dan, Matt, and Nicky actually tried socializing with the new Foxes. Normally, Kevin would jump at the chance to talk about exy with these recruits, but also, normally he didn't feel like he'd just just rolled through a flaming dumpster filled with screeching, pooping monkeys.

Kevin let out a sigh as they passed some sort of mildly interesting snake exhibit. He nudged Aaron, who was on his phone with a red face, which meant he was either texting lovey-dovey things to Katelyn or blasting an idiot in his Ochem class. You never really knew with him.

"Aaron."

Aaron just scowled at him. Kevin sighed again. Conversing was always so much more exhausting than he anticipated.

"Snakes."

"What."

"Do you want to... see the snakes?"

Aaron blinked in confusion. "Okay?"

Kevin led them to the snakes.

There, they shoved past some families and made it to the front of the glass enclosure.

"Well?" Aaron asked. "Now what do we do?"

Valid question, Kevin thought. He hadn't really considered what they were doing. He just wanted to see snakes.

He told Aaron as much, who rolled his eyes aggressively and went back to his phone.

Kevin felt a tap on his shoulder and twisted around, coming face-to-face (well, more like chest-to-face) with some sort of tour or information guide.

"Hi!" she smiled all too brightly. Kevin wanted to cover his eyes. "How are you enjoying the exhibition?"

"Um," Kevin gulped eloquently, then remembered his media training. "Oh yeah, it's great!"

"Awesome," she beamed. "You know, there's a snake feeding session in about 5 minutes if you and your son are interested."

Kevin's face contorted in confusion. He whirled around, assuming some tiny, lost child was latched near him, but when he turned back, the lady — Sandy — had her gaze intensely focused on the only other small person near him: Aaron.

Oh dear.

Aaron seemed to come to the same conclusion as Kevin did because his eyes widened comically and he hissed "I. am. not. his. son."

Sandy blinked owlishly. "Little brother then?"

Aaron threw his hands up. "I am 21! Leave me alone." He then proceeded to stomp out of the enclosure, dragging Kevin along and leaving a very flummoxed old lady behind them.

"I can't believe it," Aaron kept muttering. "Your son. Your son! I hate life."

Kevin was a bit miffed that he hadn't actually been able to see the snakes, but he figured Aaron's plight was slightly more significant than that.

After a few moments of silent walking (Kevin) and angry grumbing (Aaron), Kevin realized he couldn't see any of the Foxes anymore. He glanced around, instinctively searching for Andrew.

"Hey, do you know where Andrew and Neil went?" Kevin asked.

Aaron scoffed. "They're probably making out somewhere."

"Who's making out?"

Aaron and Kevin both gave unholy screeches as they turned around to find Nicky standing between them, a wide, innocent grin on his face.

"What the fuck," Aaron complained. "Don't do that again, you bitch."

Nicky waved him off. "Shut up. Who's making out? Might be able to close some bets."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "We just can't find Andrew and Neil anywhere. Aaron seems to believe they're off deflowering a zoo Port-A-Potty or something."

"Well then, we wouldn't want to interrupt them, right?" Nicky winked. "Anyways, we're all going to the butterfly exhibit right now so y'all have to join us. I'm not taking no for an answer."

It seemed that they had no choice, so after sharing a resigned glance, Kevin and Aaron trudged behind an overly enthusiastic Nicky while he babbled on about some parrots that he saw. It really didn't seem as interesting as Nicky was making it out to be, but Kevin didn't want to say anything lest he was expected to participate in the conversation too.

They finally reached the butterfly exhibit where the other Foxes were waiting for them. They entered as a mass of loud, mildy buff, smelly athletes and got more than a few glares from the parents of young children who moved out of the way.

But in all this movement, the path cleared and Kevin found... Andrew and Neil? He was about to turn to Aaron and tell him that they evidently not making out, until he noticed how still Andrew was standing and the glee on Neil's face.

Nicky's gaze caught onto them a second later, because he squealed and grabbed Kevin's arm, jabbing his finger at the sight.

"Oh my God," he whispered. "Is that a butterfly on Andrew's nose? That is adorable."

Kevin squinted, and yes, that's exactly what it appeared to be. Nicky's outburst had caught Allison's attention, and she began marching over to Neil and Andrew, the rest of the Foxes in tow.

Kevin could already tell this was going to be a mess.

When they finally reached Andrew, Aaron was the first to speak. "What the fuck?" he asked flatly. Andrew glared at him. Slowly, as to not move the butterfly, he raised his hand to gently flip off his brother.

Nicky immediately started cooing. "Aww, don't worry Andrew! I think you look adorable."

Andrew began slipping out a knife.

On Allison's left, Kevin saw Dan practically shaking with laughter as she pulled out her camera and snapped a picture.

Neil opened his mouth, probably to tell off Dan but Nicky rushed in to talk to him.

"Soooo," he waggled his eyebrows. "I didn't know you could see the future, Neil."

Neil stared at him blankly and turned back to Andrew as he pulled out a map, but Nicky rallied on.

"Like, you must have been able to predict that one day Andrew was going to be this adorable. That's why you asked him out, right?"

"What?" Neil asked distractedly. "I never asked him out."

Kevin blinked in surprise. After a moment's consideration, he realized that considering how utterly oblivious Neil could be, it really was no shocker that Andrew had to ask him out first.

"Wait wait wait," Matt shook his head. "So Andrew asked you out?"

Neil waved them off as he continued squinting at the map he was holding. "Yes yes, just go ask Kevin, he was there."

All eyes turned to Kevin. Kevin was very lost.

"What the fuck," Aaron repeated. "I'm so confused."

"Me too," Kevin muttered. "Me too."

— ··· —

After their long day at the zoo was over, the Foxes finally began the trudge back up to their respective dorms. The younger Foxes dozed off immediately, but the older Foxes gathered in the girls' room to drop off the bags they had borrowed for the trip.

In all the commotion, no one really noticed Andrew and Neil leaving together. But right before they slipped out the door, Renee caught sight of them.

"Good night, you two!" she called. Neil turned around and gave her a tired wave, his body slumped on Andrew.

"Wait!" Nicky scrambled off the sofa. "Before I forget: Neil, how did Andrew ask you out?"

Neil blinked sleepily. "Well," he slurred. "He asked if he could blow me."

The room went silent.

Andrew heaved a sigh and dragged Neil out the door, leaving seven wide-eyed, very much awake athletes in their wake. Slowly, everyone turned to Kevin.

"You!" Allison weakly jabbed a finger in his direction. "You knew about this!"

Too late, Kevin realized what Neil's statement meant. Andrew had asked out Neil in front of Kevin. By offering sex. Nothing could have possibly ruined Kevin's night as much as this information had.

He met the Foxes' eyes slowly. Even Renee looked a bit surprised at Neil's admission, but she was clearly biting back a smile. "Trust me," Kevin groaned. "If I had known this had happened, I would have won myself so many bets."

"Damn," Nicky sighed. "I wish Erik and I had such an iconic story. Who knew the quiet, stabby cousin was such a horny gay bastard?"

"I," Aaron announced hotly. "have never wanted to forget a conversation more than this one."

"But Aaron. Andrew asked to blow him."

"Nicky, I swear— "

"OH MY GOD. They're probably having sex right now! Kevin, could you— "

Aaron put his head in his hands. "Please shut up now."

[kazzyboy]

Andriel As Gamers (Kinda)

Andrew (@HolierThnThou03)

- Personal channel, separate from his team/exy life, so he can post whatever the fuck he wants

- And what does that mean?

- Chaos. Pure, unbridled chaos.

(Like the notes I made for this spontaneously at five this morning)

- Either shows up to stream in a complete, put-together outfit, carefully-done messy eyeliner, fresh out of the Maserati; or shows up in sweats and one of Neil’s old Jurassic Park shirts. He has three of his piercings in. One of his socks is missing. There is no in between

- Barely responds to chat, except when someone’s being fucking annoying (and not in normal fan sense, in horrible person sense) to publicly pause his game, stare directly at the screen, and psychologically demolish them for ten straight minutes. The mods (Typically Renee, Nicky, and Robin) calm everyone down and give the user a warning. If they say something horrible like that again, they’ll be kicked and blocked. No one ever gets to the second bit.

- Stares directly into the camera when he dies like he’s in The Office

- Mostly horror games, occasionally aesthetically-driven Minecraft builds

- Sort of stiffens and goes wide-eyed when he’s well and truly scared

- More often than not does story-oriented games

- Gets cancelled for saying shit like,”Disgusting. Horrible. Kill yourself.” When he gets nervous while playing horror games (except nearly everyone reacts like “he can’t be cancelled!!!” Which he can’t, because he was telling the game to kill itself, which his poor mods had to explain for several months after the initial pandemic.)

- Sarcastic, poetically-driven commentary. Gets memed for it, constantly (“Humor be like-“ picture of Andrew, blank-faced, while someone gets swallowed whole by an alien on camera,”the inner workings of my mind are an enigma”)

- Leaves randomly, midstream, for snacks. Doesn’t even pause the game. His chat goes insane every time

- Guest stars include Renee, Robin, King, Kevin, and occasionally Nicky and Aaron

- @/BetsyTheBee shows up in chat sometimes and no one knows who the fuck it is, but he thinks it’s funny so he waits till people start asking if they’re dating to tell them she is literally his therapist and basically his mother.

- Streams and posts lengthy, unedited content (bc he’s lazy, but he says it’s because his editor sucks. No one knows who it is. It’s Neil. Neil did not sign up for this responsibility.)

- Rock music constantly in the background

- Occasionally does a crime podcast with various Foxes, called Gravedigger -The High Road To No One

- Constantly the victim of copyright strikes, thanks to his posters, music, and shirts, and he wins every time. Constantly claims it’s the reason he chose to major in Criminal Law (or whatever it was, cheeky little shit)

- He purposely holds his controller weird when he uses one to piss people off

- Coffee. Just, so much coffee.

- Cries at the end of Rrdr2

Neil (@TheFoxSaysNJos10)

- Semi-professional channel, in which it was supposed to be professional but the PR managers had to fight Neil’s loud mouth and lost

- Constantly argues with chat (His mods, Allison, Matt, Dan, and occasionally Andrew ((undercover)), have to block so many people bc they actually try and start shit over his jokes. Not because Neil cared that they were insulting him, but because if they mentioned the Foxes he’d fucking kill them. And get away with it.)

- Professional exy player for Pro Palmetto State Foxes, Coached by Dan and Captained by Kevin Day (you can’t @ me I’ll die on this hill)

- Promotes stuff for the team by wearing/using it on stream/in interviews/events. To this day, it’s a mystery how no one realizes he wore Andrew’s hoodie three consecutive interviews in a row, his sweatpants in another, and Andrew’s stuff is literally all over his apartment (from random visits, made up of broken traffic laws and horrific gas prices)

- His poor, poor PR managers. ManagerS. There’s more than one. The trauma is too powerful

- Clips from exy games, interviews, and practice (Him and the Foxes sometimes react to compilations, from fails, funnies, and fights)

- Every time someone asks about his scars his story gets more ridiculous. He got smacked in the face with a flying jellyfish at the zoo when he was seven. He became self-aware before he was born and took a chunk out of god’s hand, so he was cursed. He tripped on a crack and broke his mother’s back. Neil what the fuck

- Collabs with Kevin’s conspiracy channel, posted at three in the morning somehow everywhere? There are a million mugs on the desk. Are they in a news station? A single light is on? What are they trying to summon???

- When he does post gaming videos, they have like a millions cuts thanks to all of his cursing, to the point that people think they’re actually just clips of him playing the same game

- He does randomly stream, which is beyond the power of professionalism

- He normally plays shooter games, and is deathly attached to Halo.

- No one wants to play multiplayer with him, though, even online strangers, because his insults are unnervingly accurate. How did you know I have forty eight tea cans on my desk. Lurking. Jail

- Sir!! He once devotes an entire three hour stream to playing games with Sir, to the point that he occasionally does Sir Sundays

- Plays random games out of nowhere (Wobbledogs, puzzle games, literal board games that he drags others into)

- Neil doesn’t get a mic on his headphones bc he’s too loud.

- Their fans constantly ask for Andrew and Neil to collab, thinking it’ll be a total bomb show, since they haven’t talked since college and they hated each other

- Because they are completely unaware of the fact that Andrew and Neil have been married since their third year of professional exy, thanks to one too many unauthorized hospital visits

- And no one knows that they’re waiting for Andrew’s five-year contract with the New York Lions to expire so he can move in with Neil back in Columbia and become a co-coach for the professional Foxes

- All the while, Andrew is helping Renee with a Shelter For Homeless And Troubled Youth, called The Fox Den.

[youknow-igetit]

heres the thing

like, baltimore happened. right? right.

but like, absolutely none of the foxes believe that andrew and neil are together. like romantically. (it’s mildly plausible that they could have sexual relations with one another but it’s literally only allison that thinks that, and even she’s doubtful.)

(renee is the only outlier here but she doesn’t comment on any of it because she doesnt have a death wish because she’s andrew’s friend)

(maybe also aaron but he thinks they just fuck)

what with neil’s insistence on not swinging and andrews... andrewness, it makes no sense that they’d actually be together

they never touch whatsoever. no kissing (no evidence of kissing), no hugging, no hand-holding, nothing. not even an accidental bumping of knees between the two of them.

kevin refuses to talk to them about the topic, but nicky is a very talkative person. “I live in the same dorm as them. but i’ve never seen anything even slightly coupley.”

even allison is beginning to doubt herself.

by their second year most of the foxes have come to the conclusion that they just said it to get the foxes out of neil’s love life and to make them tolerate andrew at least a little more

like, of course they think that neil and andrew are friends, at least, no one could get that close to the little knife-wielding maniac andrew and not have some sort of connection

also they talk to each other a lot. andrew hardly talks to anyone else. the foxes interpret that as they 

but they kind of just brush it aside until it’s new year’s eve and all of the original foxes are there (because they’re not letting neil leave them again)

andrew and neil are off smoking and nicky’s like “okay guys a new bet.”

so nicky thinks that they’re together, full stop (because he’s lived with andrew for years he knows that he shows his affection differently). 

aaron thinks they’re just fucking and so does allison (one of the few times they have ever agreed on anything)

matt, dan, and kevin all think that they’re just close friends (because kevin is probably thinking about their exy careers and also the internalized homophobia that the nest drilled into him for years is still there)

renee isn’t a part of it (obviously)

and so the bet finally begins

neil and andrew probably know about it, but they also have no idea who thinks what and they also don’t really care. they know. that’s all that matters. they’re a very private people.

none of the freshman even know that andrew and neil are together in the first place, so they definitely don’t know about the bet

so the foxes start watch andrew and neil just a little bit more closely but they’re still not seeing anything different than how they acted before they were ‘out’

it isn’t until the next october that they get anything

they’re all in the girl’s suite (now only dan and allison, renee graduated the year before)

it’s all of the foxes, the new freshmen and the now-sophomores (bonding exercise, dan told neil. you’re all gonna be there) and all of the original ones

they’re all hanging out and some people are chatting but it’s kinda lame

so allison’s like “fuck it, we’re all playing never have i ever.”

they establish things such as if you feel uncomfortable revealing anything you don’t have to, no singling people out, etc

so the game begins and there’s the usual tame questions like “never have i ever skateboarded” and such

but it slowly delves into the more revealing things, like “never have i ever broken the law” (and nearly all of the foxes drink because they’re foxes)

but jack, the asshole, goes “never have i ever sucked dick”

nicky, obviously take a big gulp. and allison, dan, matt (”what?? i was experimental in high school”), andrew, kevin (everyone kinda knows about the hookup culture that the nest had, so whatever), and many of the freshmen and sophomores drink as well. and, astoundingly, so does neil

nicky literally gasps, allison coughs on her drink, the rest of the original foxes simply gape (except for kevin, who swears loudly) because there was no one that neil would give a blowjob to besides andrew

neil, completely unblushingly, goes “what?” at all of his speechless friends (except for kevin, who is still swearing. it was only twenty dollars that he lost, but still). andrew, next to him, has the same bored expression

so matt, kevin, and dan have already lost the bet, even if it’s still going strong

but eventually they’re all like okay yeah, whatever, they’re fucking, but that’s it

except nicky

so it basically all of the foxes trying to get neil (not andrew, andrew’s scary) that it’s a fwb thing without explicitly asking outright

but every time matt asks how his thing with andrew is going he just kinda shrugs and goes back to what he was doing because it hasn’t really changed much except they trust each other a lot more, both emotionally and physically but neil’s not gonna tell anyone that

so allison’s like “got any dick recently?” and neil’s like”???? yeah?? i guess???”

but suddenly it’s andrew’s fifth year and nearly all of the original foxes have graduated and the bet is still there, obviously, but it’s come to the point that if they stay together after andrew graduates then nicky’s right and he wins the bet

but it’s before that that shit goes down

so it’s spring break, and they’re all at the cabin that they went to that first time (i like to think that it becomes a tradition and no matter what, all the foxes are there every year)

so  it’s the third night and things are... tense

it’s not that andrew and neil are being quiet, since they usually don’t talk a lot, but the air around them seems charged, like a bomb about to go off

they’re all gathered around, sitting on assorted furniture or the floor, and their all conversing quietly and dan gets up, grabs an assorted but large selection of alcohols, and sets them on the coffee table, declaring that they’re going to play drinking games and absolutely no one can sit out (glaring pointedly at neil, who looks ready to bolt. he hasn’t had that expression on his face for years. they all hate it.)

it is, again, during a game of never have i ever, when things come to a crescendo

they’re all mildly tipsy at this point of the night, and neil and andrew are sitting on the same loveseat, but nearly as far away from each other as possible (they’re still playing, since dan insisted, and despite her having not been their captain for two years, she is still mentally their captain)

allison, because she felt emotional or it’s just the alcohol, goes “never have i ever been in love”

and dan and matt share dopey smiles as they both drink, aaron drinks, nicky stares off into space while drinking, thinking only of erik, and kevin takes a hesitant sip from his

its silent for a full second before neil, with a determined look on his face, looks andrew in the eye and takes a huge mouthful of the alcohol and swallows

no one says anything either from knowing better than to say anything or being physically incapable of speech

neil and andrew maintain eye contact before andrew, andrew, picks up his own drink and drains his glass

as if rehearsed, they both get up at the same time and storm outside onto the deck, slamming the door and shaking the paintings on the walls

it’s a terse silence as they hear faint voices arguing but it isn’t until they fall silent that kevin gets up to investigate but then immediately goes to sit back down after one glance out of the window

he picks up a bottle of vodka and drinks directly from it before going “they’re fine”

“how do you know?” matt asks tentatively

“because they’re making out”

the room is silent again, surprise coloring the air

and then

“pay up, bitches”

Nicky is very pleased upon knowing that his cousin actually does have someone to love and so does neil his adopted son but also that he won six hundred dollars (”I never should have fucking bet that much” allison muttered later)

and for the rest of their vacation everyone’s happy and fine and dandy and they all ignore those hickeys on andrew’s neck