#lots of gay up in this fic

[words-etched-in-her-skin]

Hello, dears! This fic was written for my dear friend @loveinthekeyofx! Alcina with a curvy stable worker 👀 There lots of gay panic, thigh riding and mold horses! It's fairly long so most will go under a cut, but I do hope some of you will enjoy it! ❤️

TW: Body issues, references to bullying.

***

You wiped the sweat from your brow, the last barrel of hay finally loaded into it's trough after a long day of work. You looked up to find dark eyes staring out at you from the back of the stable. 

"Come on, Spider. You gotta eat." 

You always found it rather endearing that the youngest of the Lady's daughters had insisted on naming each of the horses based on their personalities. Spider, for instance, was black, had spindly legs and preferred her days spent in solitude. Though, on occasion, she would allow Daniela, and only Daniela, to ride her. 

The moody creature huffed in your direction before walking over to her trough and reluctantly began to eat. 

"That's my good girl." You replied with a smile, pulling out a few sugar cubes from the pocket of your uniform. 

"You certainly have a way with them, Frances." 

The Lady's voice caught you off guard, causing you to squeak loudly and nearly drop the sugar cubes from your hand. 

"Shit! Ah- .. sorry, my lady. And th-thank you?" 

Your voice raised in a way that made your reply sound more like a question rather than a response. Alcina chuckled, her profound frame moving slowly through the large doors of the barn - one of the few entryways on the castle grounds she could enter through without ducking. 

“Due praise, dear. I’ve been watching you for quite awhile.” 

The look of surprise upon your face brought a prompt and melodic laugh to the Lady’s lips - a sound you could nearly get enough of. 

“I- .. You have??” 

“Mh.. you are rather hard to miss.” 

“Oh.” Your face reddened. Your reply was soft, eyes to the side. Hands tugging at your uniform before your arms quickly came over your chest as if to shield you. It was instinctual in nature. One taught and bred into you since you were a young child. And though you did your best not to give completely into the urge to cover your body, the Lady noticed. Immediately realizing her folly she shook her head.

“Not like that, little one.” Alcina paused before chuckling. “As if I out of all people would ever deem to comment on the size of another person.” 

You chuckled in turn, smiling a little sheepishly.  

“As it was…” She continued, “I find most  humans to be.. rather petite.” 

At this your face grew even hotter. Petite was not a word anyone had ever used to describe you. Voluptuous.. curvy.. thick - sure. Fat by your childhood bullies, and once by a friend.. but never.. petite. 

In fact, the thought alone that someone could view you as such made your mouth go a little dry. 

You swallowed hard, chuckling nervously. “You are too kind, my lady.” 

The Countess’ eyes flared as they locked onto yours - liquid embers boring into you. 

“I am nothing but honest, Frances. Why.. I could easily carry you and one of your stable mates around this entire castle several times before tiring of it.” 

You stood there for a moment - mouth agape and face on fire. The image of her carrying you around anywhere was… well.. 

<i> error 404, Frances not working</i>

“I.. that..” You paused, clearing your throat. “I have absolutely no doubts about that.” 

The Lady smirked, leaning down ever so slightly in your direction. 

“Yes, I’m sure you don’t.” 

At this you only squeaked, pulling another laugh from the large woman. 

“Adorable.” 

Every cell in your body was on the verge of a thermal meltdown, but you did your best to breathe. 

“Ahem.. ah.. may I ask you something, my lady?”

“By all means.” 

“Well.. you said you’ve been watching me?” 

“Mh.”

“I.. I mean, why?” 

The regal Countess before you stared silently for a moment before rising to her full height. 

“My dear… you wouldn’t ask someone in a museum why they're staring at a piece of art.” She paused, her finger coming to your chin. “They’re looking for one reason and one reason alone - to admire.” 

“O-oh.” You swallowed. 

Alcina chuckled. “Mh.. well, as much as I’m enjoying seeing how red I can get you.. I <i>am</i> actually here for a reason.” 

You were honestly thankful for having a moment to regain your composure, the Lady’s affect on you all too prevalent. 

“O-of course, my lady.” 

“As I said, I’ve been watching you… and  your connection to the animals on the grounds is something that was immediately apparent to me. Especially your connection with Al.”

Your eyes instantly wandered towards the stable at the far end of the barn. There was no doubt about it.. Al, or ‘Big Al’ as Dani liked to call her,.. was by far your favorite. For a couple reasons: 

1. She had to be the most beautiful Fresian you had ever laid eyes on. Hair as dark as night and eyes that glistened with intelligence. She was a truly captivating creature, and she knew it 2. Due to your larger stature - She was the only horse in the barn that you felt completely comfortable riding. You could ride her with no restraints, with absolute freedom. And some days, it honestly felt like flying. 3. She was affectionately, and much to the Countess’ dismay, named after Alcina (both for her immense size and her regal stature) and you couldn’t help but think of the Lady just a little bit whenever you looked at her. 

“I mean, Big Al is a rare case, my lady." You answered.  "She is a rather beautiful horse.” 

“Mh.. that, she is.” The Countess replied, giving you a knowing look. "But the connection is still very much there with every animal I’ve seen you interact with thus far, Frances. Which is what brings me to my proposition.” 

“Ah.. propo.. sition? My lady?”

She gave you a little smirk and clasped her hands before continuing. “I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors about other animals being on the grounds, kept away and secret.” 

You couldn’t help but smile at the playful glint in her eyes but you nodded. That was one of the first stories most people heard when they arrived at the castle. It’s one of the reasons the staff is told to stay away from the forests that border the massive manor at night.

Or so people say, anyways…

“Well, then I’m sure you’ve also heard the rumors that those animals are dangerous - mutated. Kept as a secret weapon against the hunters or any other man-thing that may deem us harm. As a second defense, of course.” 

“I-I have.”

“Mh.. I’ll be honest with you, dear. Some of the animals we keep here, even Cassandra, wouldn't cross at night.” She paused, staring out at the tree line for a moment. “With that being said, we also house a rather extraordinary rare breed of horse here. One enhanced by the cadou. And that, my dear Frances, is where you come in." 

You looked at her awestruck for a minute, voice trembling slightly when you finally spoke.

"M-my lady? I.. I'm not quite sure I understand." 

The Lady sighed heavily, the years growing more and more visible within the deep lines of her face. 

"Some rather unfortunate circumstances have recently come up. Very suddenly leaving me without the servant who's been regularly tending to them." 

You swallowed hard, not entirely sure if you even wanted to know the answer. "Ah, may I ask what kind of circumstances?" 

The Countess stood silent for a moment, thinking. Her brow furrowed in the cutest of ways. 

"Mh.. I'd rather not get into specifics, little one, but let's just say the woman made the mistake of putting her hands on one of my daughters.. without their consent." 

"Ah." You shuddered, the mere thought of the consequences such a person would be fated to made you all too grateful that the Countess had spared you the details. 

“Mh.”

“Heh.. I’m honestly a little surprised the four of you let her leave the castle alive.” 

Alcina looked down at you, a devilish smirk curling across her lips. “I don’t recall ever saying we did.” 

You swallowed. “R-right.” 

She chuckled for a moment, shaking her head. 

“Fret not, Frances. As of now Arleen is .. well, mostly safe in the dungeons. Her fate will now reside in the hands of my daughters.” 

You nodded. “I understand, my lady.”

“Good.” 

“May.. May I ask which daughter it was?” 

“Hm.. curious thing, are we?” 

You blushed, averting your eyes. “Ah, a bit, yes.. sorry, my lady.”

The large woman’s gaze lingered over you a second before answering. 

“Cassandra.” 

“Oof.” 

A soft chuckle. 

“Indeed.” 

It was well known among the staff that the Lady’s middle daughter was the least of the three you wanted to make angry. Under any circumstance. With Daniela being the most lenient, of course. Especially if she found you particularly funny (or cute, for that matter).The Countess rose to her full height, stretching a little as she straightened her back. And the soft moan that wandered off her lips was all it took to make your mouth go a little more dry. 

“So as you can see, Frances.” She continued. “I find myself in a bit of a.. bind.” 

Gods, the way her tongue danced over her bottom lip as she said that, wettening it. A soft twinkle of heat flickering in her eyes that quickly imprinted images of plump flesh peeking through soft white rope. 

<i>A bind, yes.</i> 

You cleared your throat. “ And.. y-you want me to fill her position?” 

The Countess nodded. 

“But.. are you sure? I mean.. I’m twice the age as most of the women here-” 

“Oh? Is that all?” The Lady gave you a smirk before sighing. “Yes, I’m quite sure, Frances, and I’m not one who’s used to having her judgement questioned.” 

“S-sorry, my lady.” 

The Countess waved her hand dismissively before her large frame turned back towards the door. 

“Now.. if you would kindly follow me, dear, I'd prefer we get the introductions over with before the sun sets."

You nodded, only hesitating for a moment as the Countess quickly disappeared behind the tree line. Surely the Lady would keep you safe from whatever lurked deep within those woods, surely she wouldn't be leading you straight into your untimely death. 

Surely.. 

"Frances, do keep up the pace. I'd rather not lose another servant today." 

"Sorry, my lady!" 

The scent of wet earth surrounded you as you entered the dark Romanian forest. Sounds of a nocturnal life slowly coming to wake as the dusk of a promised night filled the cool, crisp air.  And while the sun still shone brightly on the outside of the thick tree line, you could barely see Alcina's large silhouette in front of you. The steady swish of the Countess’ dress the only thing keeping you from getting lost the further the two of you went in.

“Just about there, little one.” 

You nodded, though the Lady couldn’t see you. The insistent shiver that was slowly taking over your body only grew stronger with each step - with each strange sound that echoed through the dark forest. Like the name of a long lost lover whispered into the night. And even with the knowledge that anything that may have been watching.. or following.. was no match for the woman that accompanied you, you were still all too grateful when the warm lights of the stables finally came into view.

You let out a sigh of relief, not even aware that you'd been holding your breath practically the entire time. The Countess chuckled. 

"Mh, these woods do tend to have an effect on people." 

You chuckled in turn. "I'll say."

"Nevertheless, this was the safest place to house them. Not that these horses are necessarily dangerous, by any means, but the sight of them always seems to make the staff a little uneasy." 

You nodded, a feeling you were more familiar with than you'd care to admit. Most of the staff had never really taken to you. You were older, bigger and probably kinder to most of them than they deserved. Making you a prime target for bullying. Something you feared you might never outgrow. But how can one change their genetics? Their age? Their heart? 

You sighed and Alcina’s gaze caught yours, looking you over once before turning to open the doors of the barn. A soft crinkle to her eyes when she turned back to you. 

"As for you, Frances, something tells me that you're the perfect person to care for these animals." 

You blushed slightly at her praise - even if misguided, you thought. Surely the Lady wasn't <i>that</i> good at reading people. Though, the way she looked at you made you feel otherwise. The way she looked at you made you feel exposed - seen. As if each lingering gaze from the Countess stripped another layer from your person. Peeling back the walls with nothing more than a look. 

Being quite a bit smaller than the main stables the Lady ducked to enter and you quickly followed. The inside of the barn was much warmer than you had expected it to be, almost humid - with even the warmest of Romanian nights still bearing a slight chill to them. There were eight stables that you could count, four on each side, with only six of which were occupied. The rather prominent mustiness to the air made your nose crinkle the moment you stepped inside.. 

“I do apologize for the smell. It is a rather unfortunate side effect given the mold.” 

You shook your head. "No worries. I can take it." 

Before you had even realized the implications to your words Alcina smirked. 

"Mh.. I have no doubts." She replied with a chuckle. 

You cleared your throat and tried to swallow back the blush that was steadily taking claim of your face. 

"A-anyays." 

The Lady chuckled again, giving you a look before moving further into the barn to allow you space to look around.

At first you weren't even sure what you were looking at. The Lady wasn't wrong, necessarily - each animal <i>was</i> equestrian in nature, sure, but they were also other worldly. Skeletal. With big black eyes that glistened at you with each slow movement. And while you could understand why some may have found them to be a bit off-putting, you personally found them to be rather beautiful. As if someone had taken the skeleton of a very large horse and dipped it in the blackest glitter. 

"They're.. beautiful, my lady." You said softly. 

"In their own way, yes. The cadou can sometimes create very beautiful things." 

"Well, that's a given." 

You blushed even as you quietly said the words. A slight advert to your eyes as you did your best not to make any eye contact. Even if you could feel Alcina's gaze boring into you. 

The Countess hummed in thought. "Perhaps." 

Once you moved in a little closer to the creatures you could start to see the distinguishing features between them all. With each one being unique to itself. And much like the stables on the grounds, each one had a silver plate on their doors with a name engraved in it. Something that couldn't help but make you laugh. 

"I see Dani's gift for naming things continues on."

"Mh.. whether it’s a gift or a curse remains to be seen, dear." 

And while the Lady's tone remained neutral, the soft adoration in her eyes only spoke volumes for how much she loved and appreciated each of her daughters. She gave you a small wink before moving even further into the barn, the quiet swish of fabric following her graceful migration. 

“Take a moment to familiarize yourself. I’ll need you3 to start here first thing in the morning.” 

“Yes, my lady.” 

You couldn’t help but find yourself ever more fascinated with each step you took closer to the stables. And you were almost certain that the creatures before you seemed to be just as enamored with you. Their eyes gently stalking your slow and steady movements. Of course in true Dani form, each animal was named after a defining characteristic, and most having some sort of play on the word ‘mold’. You almost laughed out loud when you came across the nameplate of a rather ornery looking one, one with an insufferable air around it and eyes that seemed to judge your very existence. 

“Moldranda?” You snorted, “I’m sure the High Priestess wasn’t happy about that one.” 

“Mh.. bold of you assume I would have told her.” The Countess chuckled.

“Hah, fair enough.” 

You continued down the first row, coming across a one-eyed horse named ‘Moldyclops’ and an exceptionally beautiful one simply named ‘Athena’. With the last stable empty you turned to make your way over to the other side of the barn, immediately noticing the rather large wings two out of the three creatures sported. You felt your eyes widen as you walked closer to them, a slight flutter to their wings as you did. A curious tilt to your head as you read the first nameplate. 

"Donut?" You chuckled. 

"Mh.. Daniela said that one’s brain is ‘filled with holes’." The Lady chuckled. "He was one of our first in the trial and not very bright." 

"Ah." You replied, walking over to the next one whose name perplexed you just as much. 

"And Moldred? Was this one named after someone Dani knew?" 

"Actually, no." Alcina replied. "Take a closer look at her, little one." 

You took another step closer and even within the low lighting of the room you could see the small red dots that covered the otherwise flawless black mold. You immediately shook your head and laughed. 

"Red mold.. mold red.. Moldred." 

"Precisely." 

As for the last horse in the row's name - it was perfect and honestly, you would have expected nothing less of the youngest Dimitrescu. With long black tendrils that wove around her head like snakes, Moldusa gave you a friendly huff the moment you stood in front of her. 

"Well, hello to you." You said, holding out your hand which the horse quickly nuzzled into. The sensation was not what one your were expecting, though. Similar to stroking over a moss covered rock only not as slimy. You couldn't help but smile when she allowed you to continue to move your hand upwards, petting the tentacles that sat on her head only to message them gently. 

"Does that feel good, sweet girl? Having your tentacles messaged? Hm?" 

From over your shoulder you could feel the Countess watching you, an unreadable emotion burning within her gaze. Immediately you blushed, turning to face your employer with a stutter. 

"A-ah.. I m-mean.. I'm sure it's relaxing! Er.. having them massaged that is.." 

The Lady smirked, only fueling your inner panic. 

"Oh geez! Not like that!  I mean.. I'm sure if you let me massage yours, you'd find it relaxing too-!" 

And just like that, you wanted to die. 

Alcina remained very still, her eyes lingering over you ever so slowly before she spoke. 

"Mh.. I'll be sure to keep that in mind, sweet thing." 

<i>Yep, kill me now.</i> 

You were almost certain that for a single moment your brain completely flatlined - a radio wave of nothing but static and impure thoughts. Surely the Lady had to know the effect she was starting to have on you. Surely the smug smirk painted over her crimson lips told you exactly that. 

You cleared your throat before taking a steadying breath, the pink flush across your cheeks deepening. Though the Lady held her gaze, eyes drinking you in as if you were a bottle of her favorite vintage. You gave Moldusa a final stroke over her nose and took a step back. 

“So, ah.. yeahh...” You said before pausing, which only made Alcina chuckle. 

“Mh? Yes, dear?”

Gods, how indulgently smooth her voice was.. how utterly teasing. Before another wave of gay panic had the chance to come through and render you completely brainless, you quickly changed the subject. 

"So, uh.. am I safe in assuming these horses don't just eat regular hay?"

"You are. Such a clever little thing, hm?" 

"I-" 

You swallowed hard. This woman was going to be the death of you. 

A melodic chuckle trickled off the Lady's lips. 

"Adorable." She added with a pause. "But yes, these horses have a very special mixture made for them each day by a local butcher. If you're familiar with a common bait fisherman use for larger fish called 'chum', it's similar to that." 

"Ah… should I even ask what sort of meat goes into it?" 

"Mh.. not if you're of weak stomach, no." She smirked. 

You chuckled nervously. "Heh.. noted." 

"The food will be here for you in the morning by the time you arrive. I pay extra to have it delivered promptly by five am and I expect you to be here no later than six. Is that understood?" 

"Yes, my lady." 

The Countess nodded before turning back towards the door. The world that laid outside the warmth of the barn nearly pitch black. 

"Unless you have any other questions, little one, we should really be heading back to the castle. It's already quite a bit later than I would prefer to have my staff out in these woods." 

"I think I'm good for now, thank you. But if I think of anything else, I'll make note of it." 

"Good. Right, then." 

The Lady began to lower her large frame as she prepared herself to duck through the semi large doors of the barn but stopped short and turned back to you. A single finger tapping her bottom lip in thought. 

"My dear.. would you be opposed to me doing something to quicken our journey back to the grounds?"

Considering you could barely even make out the trees that surrounded the stables, you shook your head. 

"Not at all. What did you have in mind?" 

Without a single word of response, the Countess swiftly stepped forward and lifted you into her arms, earning herself a sharp cry of surprise.

"M-my lady-! Wait! You shouldn't- .. I'm too-" 

Before you could even finish your sentence Alcina had you positioned in a full bridal carry, her large arms cradling you safely against her bosom. 

"You're too <i>what</i>, little one?" 

You blushed deeply, biting your bottom lip. 

"A-ah.. h-heavy, my lady." You answered, averting your eyes from her obvious glare. 

And while you were almost expecting a stern response, the Lady only laughed. Loud and boisterously - a laugh that made her whole body - as well as yours - jiggle. 

"Oh, sweet thing." She paused, still laughing. "Why, you're light as a feather. Barely even noticeable in my arms at all." 

"Oh, I'm.. erm.." 

You could feel your face growing hotter by the second and without much thought, you buried your face into the softness of her chest. An act you were sure would get you a reprimand, but the Lady only held you closer. 

"Mh.. I take it that's not something you're accustomed to hearing." 

Half muffled in your reply, you answered. 

"Truthfully? I'm more accustomed to hearing the exact opposite. My size has never really been.. well, you know.." 

Your voice trailed off, heated tears now threatening to stain the fine fabric of Alcina's dress. She let out a large sigh, fingers coming to softly stroke your hair. 

"I am more than familiar with how cruel the world can be if one does not fit into society's view of what is considered attractive." 

You looked up at her in surprise, the steadiness of her walk casting moonlit shadows across the deep lines of her face. 

"But.. but you're gorgeous!" 

And though it could have easily been wishful thinking, you could have sworn that trapped within a single sliver of moonlight was the subtle dusting of pink upon Alcina's cheeks.

"Nevertheless.." She cleared her throat, "My reputation does tend to precede me. A beautiful disaster, as it was. A monster." 

With the forest far too dark to see much else, the only thing clear enough to make out were the broken shimmers that seemed to haunt the otherwise warm embers within the Countess' eyes. 

“Pft. Well. at least they got the beautiful part right.” 

The heat of her breath tickled your face as she chuckled. “Charming little pet.” 

“I-” 

You opened  your mouth and then quickly shut it, your fluster stopping your brain short.  

Alcina chuckled again. 

“Mh.. seems as if we’ll just have to come to terms with the fact that, regardless of what the small minds of society think, we both find the other quite beautiful… won’t we?”

As soon as the two of you broke the tree line, the Countess’ illustrious body basked in a wash of silver, you could see the want in her eyes. The desire that slowly stoked beneath her heavy gaze and the hunger that burned within it. There were no falsities to her words, no flattery. Her tongue licking over her bottom lip as she leaned in a little closer, step slowing ever so slightly. 

“M-my lady?” 

“Apologies, little one… but you smell divine. It.. would probably be best if I return you directly to the servants quarters, lest I lose my control.” 

You swallowed hard, heart beating faster than it had in the entirety of your forty some odd years. 

“And.. if I wanted you to lose control?” You asked softly, head tilted back. 

The next few minutes were nothing but a blur of haze, as if the thick fog that slowly crept it’s way across the castle grounds had wrapped you in it’s cold embrace. The Lady’s lips crashing into yours as she pulled a soft moan from your body. You weren’t even sure how you had gotten back inside the castle so quickly, let alone how you ended up inside her bedroom with your back against the wall and her thigh between your parted legs.

Your chest heaved as you panted, Alcina's gaze all but a smolder of lust as it lingered over you. You knew that she could smell how aroused you were, how badly you wanted her - with her firm thigh flexing against your core just because it could. And when she slowly unsheathed her claws to cut your uniform from your plump body, you couldn't even stop the needy whimper that fell all too eagerly from your lips. 

"Mmh.. <i>exquisite</i>." 

The way her tongue curled when she spoke - a faint aroma of wine still lingering on her palate so divine that you could almost taste it. And you wanted to. You wanted to taste every inch of her. You wanted to feel her large body pressed against your own and her lips claiming yours. 

“My lady.. plea-” 

A single claw against your lips - smooth, cool to the touch. 

 “Hush, now, pet. Allow me the honor of worshiping you properly first, hm? You’re quite the feast and I’d prefer to be able to savor every second of you.” 

You only nodded - not that you would’ve been able to articulate any words after such a statement anyways.

"Mh.. that's a good girl." 

The remaining fabric of your uniform fell to the floor in a single fluid motion as Alcina ripped the rest of it from your body, exposing to her every supple curve that you had to offer. A hunger in her eyes that you had yet to see before. Nostrils flaring as she breathed in your scent and leaned in even closer. 

You swallowed hard, feeling her warm breath as it skated over your skin. Your body tingling with anticipation, filled with an unhindered heat the moment her lips pressed against you. Tongue swirling over sensitive flesh and she sucked on it ever so lightly. And of course you moaned - needlessly, wordlessly - the slight scrape of the Lady's fangs across your skin slowly building that subtle throb between your legs. 

Each kiss followed closely by another, each claim of your skin - of your eager body - only leading to the next as Alcina's lips danced tangentially across you. They were softer than you imagined them to be, yet rough to the touch. A single finger trailing up your inner thigh as it inched its way closer to your core and forced you to buck in need. 

"Keep your hips still until I say otherwise, pet." 

You whimpered. "Yes, my lady. Sorry." 

"And you will address me as Mistress from here on out. Is that understood?" 

You swallowed hard, face overcome with heat. 

"Y-yes, Mistress." 

She hummed against your skin, willing a wave of goosebumps across your body so strong it made you shiver. The silk of her dress between your fingers as you grabbed onto her, pulling the Countess even closer to you. 

“So needy.” 

A single phrase followed by a nip at your skin… followed by another, and another. The sting of her teeth becoming ever more prevalent with each one, a rush of blood marking each spot as her large frame moved over your body. And oh, how she claimed you, claimed you like you were a world to conquer and she a war general. With every touch calculated - every caress focused. From your thighs to your belly, to your breasts to your shoulders and neck. You knew her thigh beneath you had to be soaked, the subtle throb between your legs now a deep ache. 

“H-harder.. please.. Mistress.” 

Alcina pulled back for a moment and looked at you, teeth a mere inches from the supple skin of your neck. 

“I’m not certain you’re fully aware of what you’re asking me to do, little one. Once I break the skin, I won’t be able to stop.” 

“I-I’m.. I’m aware.” 

The Countess hesitated and you lengthened the column of your neck. 

“Please, my lady.. I want you to” You added softly. 

Her pupils dilated, breath tickling your skin as she breathed you in an almost primal nature. Her fingers slowly moving - inching closer to your core. And it took everything in you not to buck, not to grind down onto her when a finger came to rest directly against your clit. 

“Mmh.. indulgent little thing.” 

In an instant your hips were raised, moaning outright as soon as you felt it -  Acina’s finger sliding into you the moment her teeth sank deeply into your supple flesh, forcefully breaking the skin.

“Mmph-!”

You lowered your hips slowly, allowing the width of the large digit to fill you. A subtle swirl of the Ladys’ tongue over your skin as she drew your very essence into her mouth, moaning sinfully as she did. 

“And such an exquisite taste.. So <i>robust</i>.”

You could see the blood trickling off one single fang as she looked up at you with a smirk, a quick sweep of her tongue over her bottom lip before her teeth were back inside you - her finger thrusting in. 

The duality of sensations was almost overwhelming. The slow thrusts of her finger, the long pulls of blood from your neck. Both heated, both a perfect mix of pleasure and pain. Each arousing you just the same. The cool tip of her fangs an exquisite contrast to the heat of the bite as she drank from you. 

She allowed your hips to rock, matching in perfect rhythm to her finger. A needy whimper falling almost all too breathless from your lips when she pressed her body into yours, forcing the chilled walls of the castle against your back. 

"Mmmmh."

A final moan against the crook of your neck before Alcina took her final sip of you, licking drops of crimson from your skin with an indulgent sigh. 

"Wouldn't want you passing out on me now would we, sweet thing?" 

Her breath smelled slightly metallic - sweet - lips stopping just short of your own as she rose to face you. The soft pulses of her finger steadily coaxed your arousal higher as the Countess leaned in for a kiss. Gaze lingering over your supple curves before her body was pressed even more firmly into yours. The fine fabric of her dress cool against your heated flesh and your hands placed gently over your head. 

"Such a sweet girl.. taking me so well." 

Intoxicating praises whispered sweetly into your lips, the length of her finger driving in and out of your dripping core at a teasingly slow rate as her tongue began to dance over yours. It was a dance of lovers came to met, a swirl of succulent sweeps as she kissed the breath from your body. You moaned earnestly, hips picking up their pace as you did your best to take in as much of her as you could. Her dress soaked beneath your trembling legs. 

"Mh.. be a good girl and come for me, hm?"

Sinful words punctuated by a single sweep over your clit. And that was it, that was all you needed - a soft command and a Lady's touch - to will the stars behind your eyes to collide, to force universes to touch and your whole body to convulse. A prickling heat spreading over you like an inferno as your core clenched around the width of her and forced your desire out, coating her wrist and drenching her upper thigh. 

For a moment all you could do was shake, riding out the orgasm until the last shudder fell from your body. The Countess holding you close, allowing you the time you needed to come down from your high before she slowly slid her finger out from under you and placed it to your lips. You blushed, opening your mouth. 

"Obedient little pet." 

You nodded, dutifully cleaning the taste of yourself from her skin. 

Though, as soon as Alcina's finger fell from your mouth a wave of exhaustion quickly began to take residence across your body. You yawned, making the Lady chuckle. 

"Mh.. seems I've worn you out, little one." 

Another yawn. 

"M-maybe a little." 

Alcina held you in place as she grabbed the remnants of your uniform off the floor and wrapped them around your still naked body. A soft kiss coming to your forehead and the strength of her embrace holding you close as she began to carry you. 

Where to, you weren't certain. Though you were sure it likely wasn't her bed. You couldn't imagine the Countess letting just anyone share her bedside- 

Another yawn. 

"Sleep, my dear. I've got you." 

With that you felt safer than you had in your entire life and snuggled into the crook of her arm. With your needs and wants perfectly tended to and your body more relaxed than it had ever been. You wondered if you'd think it was all a dream come the morning. You wondered if you'd believe it even happened at all. But the reddened marks that adorned your body would quickly prove to you that it had, and everyone in the castle would surely be aware of Lady Dimitrescu's claim on you by lunch.

***

[unpaidnapper]

[foxett]

Holy flip!! Fully colored suntan post?? Decently done grass??? Someone pinch me (day 10 suntan)

[anthonycrowley]

i think this will get me tarred and feathered if i don’t word this properly but i do genuinely think that fandoms with canon relationships - gay or straight - as the most popular pairing kind of suck a little. like as a rule. not the media itself, that usually is very good. and especially in the case of actual lgbt rep i would rather that over well written fanfic every day of the week. but. man. something really is lost when you no longer have to have a downward spiral of madness with your friends for 2-4 weeks before you go ‘fuck it they’re in love i’ll do it myself’ and instead you’re all shaking hands going good game good game. a kinder world, truly. but none of you are going to write a 150k word fanfic set in an alternate apocalypse universe that showed up in a single episode out of 200 just to prove your blorbos truly Are in love.

[non-un-topo]

Thinking about the sniper duo

[transgendercastiel]

Troy: sometimes me and abed kiss as mj and Spider-Man but it’s straight because it’s a guy kissing a girl

Jeff: Troy you do realise how gay that sounds right?

Troy: oh so you DONT want to kiss mj. And I’m the one who’s gay

[prince-liest]

The way you write Alastor sometimes comes across as very agender to me and idk if you do that on purpose but I love it

I do, actually! He strikes me as the kind of person who is invested in the performance of masculinity and being a gentleman because it's a part of the way he wants the world to see him, and I don't think he would be very tolerant of people trying to emasculate him in any way because that is an insult with heavy connotations, especially during the time he's from. At the same time, though, I feel like if he'd been assigned female at birth, he would see the presentation of his femininity (and anybody questioning it) exactly the same way.

I write him as seeing gender as a role performance that has important traditional social values, but not ones that are inherently related to who he is as a person. Basically, he's a demon and a monster first, and everything else... I'd say "second," but frankly he barely tolerates people seeing the humanity in him at all.

[sleepy-aletheas]

I wonder why people turn Kaveh into a tiny guy that needs to tilt his head back to look up at Alhaitham as if he's a head shorter. Or turn him into an overemotional wreck that can't solve anything himself. Or he's portrayed as someone that does one mistake after another, and is more irresponsible than a five year old with scissors. Or is really mean, if not outright cruel to Alhaitham. Or just emotionally oblivious to anyone and his own feelings.

My guy over here is an alumni with honors; he's as tall as Alhaitham (or taller if someone cares); he's loud in volume and emotions, but he very much can be quiet and calm; he's gullible in the sense of trying to help others, but that doesn't mean he cannot be smart; and he's a grown ass man, no matter how babygirl-ified he can be, he took care of himself and his mother as a child, he lived alone as a teenager, and he is capable of living with someone else and actually live, not just survive.

Kaveh is very pretty, and wears his heart on his sleeve, and he's gullible, and has his silly moments. But there is a thin line between that and turning him borderline hyper-feminine, and take away all his smarts, and leave no emotional intelligence. Like, that's a new character, I don't know who that is. And then making him codependent on someone else (who is also mischaracterized to hell and back btw) and take all the nuance he ever had, until it reaches past the point of silly head-canons for AUs, only for it to become a Thing for people.

One of the highlights of his personality is the duality. It's the understanding and the stubborn passion; the friendliness and pettiness on equal measure; the liveliness and regret. He's not an endless crying mess, nor is he an eternal sunshine. He's Kaveh, he has his moments, he has his passions, he has his growth, he has his burdens. Stripping that away from him leaves nothing but a faint impression that could easily be called by another name.

Just. Please. Release Kaveh from the shackles of old yaoi tropes, I'm begging. He deserves so so so much more.

(The thing is, it can be fun dabbling into these mischaracterizations every now and then. We can do deep character studies by amplifying a personality trait, or give/take some at all. We can overexaggerate for a plot, or for artwork. But there is a moment, where these mischaracterizations reach such a widespread chokehold, that it becomes real to people who couldn't care less, and they run with this new version. Suddenly all the canon nuance will be switched out for fanon, any meaning the character had for certain objects or people will be turned on their heads, because no one listens to the source anymore. The silly guy that makes people fall in love with him for him will be replaced by an imitation that will always feel off. It's such a delicate balance of indulgence and preservation of the original, it makes everything complicated. I don't even know if I make any sense anymore.)

[graysanatimony]

So today I was reading a book and SOMEHOW my fucking dumbass managed to read the name “Collin” as Bojan… THEY ARE NOTHING ALIKE HOW DID I MANAGE THAT

[ssreeder]

I'm so looking forward to iroh and zuko properly talking and seeing irohs reaction to zuko being gay.

Like we all know he doesn't agree with the fire nation rn but how will he react?

Will he not support him cause sokkas a guy? Will he not support him because it's SOKKA? Will he accept him? Will he reveal he's known for years zuko was gay?

Especially with everything that happened with zhao, regarding to what jee said to bato on their date. (Which is a very understandable perspective, zuko just got out of this very sexually traumatising situation and almost immediately starts a relationship (his first relationship) with sokka, but then again it is a very unique situation)

One thing I love about some atla fics is how they portray the FNs thoughts on queerness, cause on one hand they were one of the only country's (I think) that treated men and women the same but then again it's also the fucking fire nation.

And I also think zukos whole canon arc can be very comparative to queerness,

His dads an asshole and after speaking out against him he throws him out, and zuko try's for 3 years to regain his father's love and acceptance, and then faced with the opportunity of regaining it takes it immediately regardless of who or what he may hurt (iroh, his own morals etc) but once he makes it back home realises how fucked up everything is and eventually confronts his dad and openly tells him he doesn't agree with him then runs aways.

I also wonder if iroh secretly knows jee is queer it doesn't seem that likely to me but it also is iroh so who knows.

<3

I do think Iroh’s reaction will be a big moment for not only the story but for Zuko’s character development. Right now, Zuko’s technically still a prisoner, holding himself there by assuming Iroh will not understand or judge him when in reality he’ll never know what his uncle is thinking until they TALK ABOUT IT. (Which the FN royal family is just sooo good at healthy communication I don’t understand why this is so hard for them lol?!)

I do agree that the suddenness of the relationship combined with the intensity from both zuko and Sokka is very alarming for people looking at it from the outside (I mean we all totally get it cause we were there but others are like uhhhh hmmmm ok this might be concerning) so I get them gossiping and wondering if this is truly real or what the fucks going on with those boys.

I love Zukos canon arc because there’s just so much about zukos story that can be relatable no matter who you are and I think that’s why he is a fan favorite (it doesn’t explain why we torture him the way we do but ehhhh it’s fine haha)

Hmmmmmm does iroh know Jees gay? Depends on how saucy those music nights got ;)

[xenon-demon]

I... have no idea what this is. No that's a lie I know exactly what this is, it's 2.6k of a Frozen AU with Steve as Elsa and Robin as Anna that I wrote in a fugue state after seeing a friend's production of Frozen: The Musical tonight. I have several WIPs I'm supposed to be working on and this is exactly none of them. Bone apple teeth. (Also I'm genuinely unsure if my usual crew of beloved enablers would even WANT to be tagged in this so... for now I'm not doing a taglist, and if I write any more of this AU I'll do one next time 😂)

“Steve!”

At the sound of his name, the Prince — now King, and boy is Robin going to take a while to get used to that — turns his head towards her. Seeing it's Robin, Steve gives his apologies to whatever noble he was talking to and steps away from their conversation. He makes his way over to Robin in just a few short strides, but his eyes flick back and forth between Robin and her new... well. She doesn't really want to think about what Eddie now is to her. In any case, she can already see a questioning frown start to brew on Steve's face, meaning this will be a much harder sell than she expected.

“Robin!” Steve exclaims, his gaze almost immediately sliding over to Eddie and giving him a once-over. He sounds markedly more subdued when he continues, “I see you've... made a friend.”

“Well, I wouldn't say a friend exactly!” Robin laughs, shrill and stilted, and gives Eddie's arm a pointed squeeze when he doesn't immediately join in. Getting the hint, Eddie finally starts laughing along. Hopefully Steve didn't notice her hinting, since she's had her arm wrapped around Eddie's since before she even called him over.

Steve raises an eyebrow at her, and shit does she need to keep this moving.

“This,” Robin announces, using the hand that's not around Eddie's arm to do a quick flourish in the direction of his face, “is Prince Edward of the Kingdom of Forest-Upon-Hills. We met at the ball tonight.”

“It's an absolute pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty,” says Eddie, trying his best to show the proper respect and bow as he does so. Robin's death grip on his arm prevents him from getting very far.

“Likewise,” Steve replies, sounding incredibly skeptical of this whole conversation. He then shoots Robin a look, which, rude, but also entirely warranted given what she's about to ask him.

Steeling herself, Robin begins to say, “Prince Edward and I-”

“Just Eddie is fine,” Eddie interrupts her, leaning in a little bit closer to her as he whispers. He's got terrible volume control, however, so she wouldn't know it was meant to be a whisper if she hadn't spent the past two hours talking to him.

“Not one for formalities, Prince Eddie?” Steve asks, the weight of his gaze finally leaving Robin's shoulders for a moment. God, she often wishes her brother was easier to read, but never as strongly as she does right now.

Eddie, meanwhile, straightens up so quickly it's like he's been electrocuted.

“Uh, not particularly, no. They grate on me,” Eddie says. He pauses for a moment, and Robin can see the deliberation on his face before he adds, “Your Majesty.”

“I'm not one for formalities either, Prince Eddie,” Steve says. His mouth twitches into a very small smile. “I prefer Steve.”

There's a pause, then, where Steve and Eddie are locked into some strange stare-down, while Robin looks on in vague exasperation. She's pretty sure she could strip naked and swing from the chandelier in the center of the ballroom and neither of them would take any notice of her. She's about to intervene, actually, because they really do not have time for whatever this is, when Eddie miraculously breaks the spell himself. He blinks a bit, looking away from Steve and back to Robin, face significantly more flushed than it was a minute ago.

“I believe you were saying something to K- to Steve, Princess?” Eddie asks, just about tripping over Steve's new title on instinct before catching himself.

Robin just barely restrains herself from rolling her eyes. She really is the bravest, most long-suffering warrior in all of Hawkins.

Putting her brave face back on, Robin turns to her brother and says, “Yes I was, thank you Eddie, I was saying that Prince Eddie and I-” and here she falters, because Steve looks back at her and meets her gaze. She swallows, trying to be subtle, and looks very pointedly at Steve's forehead instead of his eyes. She can't do this if she's looking him in the eye.

She takes another half second to compose herself, then rips the band-aid off.

“Prince Eddie and I seek your blessing for our marriage.”

“Excuse me?” Steve says, more like demands, almost choking on nothing. Robin's never seen her brother this off-kilter in her life. He doesn't even try to compose himself at  all before he says, “Robin, can I speak to you for a moment? Alone?”

Robin swallows guiltily, knowing he'll see straight through her if she agrees.

“No. Anything you want to say to me, you can say to both of us,” Robin says, and how her voice stays steady, she doesn't even know. It probably helps that she's still not looking Steve in the eye.

“Robin- I don't-” Steve interrupts himself to run his gloved hands down his face. He pauses for a moment, face completely covered by his hands, and takes a deep sigh. When he removes his hands and starts speaking again, his voice is measured. Calm. Deadly.

“Rob, you can't marry a man you just met,” Steve states. The word man falls heavy off his tongue, and Robin knew she would regret coming out as a lesbian, she just didn't think it would be like this. Squaring herself up for the best performance of her life, Robin begins her improvised speech full of bullshit to convince her brother to let her do this.

Before she can, however, Eddie chimes in with, "You can if it's true love." Steve doesn't even spare Eddie a glance, but his frown does deepen significantly. Shit.

“Steve,” Robin begins, trying very hard to stay calm, “Eddie and I have a connection unlike any I've ever felt before. I lo-love him”—shit, she could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat saying that, and judging by the almost-imperceptible twitch in Steve's eye, he knows too—“and I think it's time I start giving back to the Kingdom of Hawkins.”

“Giving back?” Steve asks, and fuck he's folding his arms across his chest now. “How exactly is this giving back to the kingdom? What you're doing is running headfirst into the first bad decision you can find.”

”I'm a bad decision?” Eddie asks. Both Robin and Steve ignore him.

“No, Steve, I'm giving back by giving the kingdom a new celebration to look forward to after your coronation,” Robin hisses. “A royal wedding is another opportunity to open the castle gates and bring the kingdom together-”

“Absolutely not,” Steve snaps, interrupting her. “We are not opening up the castle gates again for a long time.”

“Why not, Steve?” Robin snaps back. “Tonight's been great for the kingdom's morale, it's been great for you to see people and actually socialize-”

“You have no idea what's good for me, Robin,” Steve says, making her stop dead. It hurts, hearing Steve say that like it's obvious and she's stupid for not knowing it already. What hurts more is that it’s true.

Once it's clear Robin won't keep talking, Steve continues, “You asked for my blessing, and I do not give it. I don't approve of this, and if you're doing this in some misguided attempt to make me happy- quite frankly you've gone insane if you think this would make me happy.”

With that, he turns to walk away.

Okay, sure, she has no idea what Steve's whole deal is or why he's always shutting her out, but Robin is sure she knows what will help.

Sure, part of this crazy scheme is the vague idea that if Robin has a picture-perfect capable-of-bearing-children partnership, then Steve will be under less pressure himself to marry someone who can produce an heir. Maybe, with less scrutiny on his personal choices, he'll learn to relax and open up more over time. That idea falls apart pretty quickly, however, as the thought of producing an heir with a man - even one as fun to talk to as Eddie - makes her want to gouge her own eyes out. No, the real reasoning behind Robin's (admittedly insane) plan to marry someone she met two hours ago at her brother's coronation is so she has an ironclad reason for Steve to open the gates again. Sure, ideally it would've been a woman who caught her eye tonight, but she can't be picky. Robin doesn't meet anyone, especially with the castle locked up like it always is, and she has yet to think of something other than a wedding that would convince Steve to open the gates. Then Eddie came along, laughing and flirting (she thinks, at least; Robin's tried to black that part out) and professing his undying true love to her, and this was the best opportunity she was ever going to get.

And she has to convince her brother to open the gates again. Steve's been thriving tonight. He clearly loves the thrum of people, all of them dancing and laughing and enjoying themselves, and he's slowly coming out of his shell with every conversation he has with their subjects. Robin's spent more time talking to her brother tonight than she has in a long, long time. Too long for her to try to quantify it without crying.

Watching her brother turn away from her, the promise of a relationship with him going forward about to slip through her fingers, she knows she has to do something.

“Steve, wait-” Robin says, reaching out for Steve. She grabs him by the hand, feeling the soft cotton of the white gloves he always, always wears.

“Enough, Robin,” Steve says, not even looking back as he yanks his hand out of her grip. She's trying to hold on, though, so she's left holding his glove as Steve pulls his now-bare hand away from her. God, how upsetting is it that it's been years since she saw the back of her own brother's hands?

Steve swears, then, under his breath. Robin almost doesn't hear it; almost.

“Robin, give me my glove.” Steve's not asking; he's demanding. Robin can work with this.

“Not unless you talk to me about why you won't open the gates. Look at how tonight went, it's been so good for you-”

“This isn't up for debate, Robin, give me my glove,” and Steve reaches for it then, but Robin quickly holds the glove up high above her head before he can grab it.

“Why isn't it up for debate? Why do you isolate yourself all the time?” Robin's almost dancing now, twisting and turning as she tries to keep the glove away from Steve's grabbing hands. It doesn't help that he's taller than her, but she's more agile than people think, especially since Steve's in full coronation regalia right now. The material's stiff as a board at the best of times.

“You wouldn't understand, just give me the- ugh!” Steve's stopped trying to grab the glove, instead trying to restrain her and make it easier to grab.

“Maybe I would understand if you'd talk to me instead of shutting me out all the time-” Steve's almost got her in a headlock, but Robin ducks out from underneath it and quickly steps away and out of Steve's reach.

“Robin, that's enough!” Steve shouts, and then several things happen consecutively.

Steve reaches out towards Robin with his right hand, the one missing the glove.

Robin thinks she's going crazy, but- what look like snowflakes shoot out from Steve's hand where he's reached for her.

The crowd, most of whom had turned to look at Steve's shout, gasp, almost in unison.

“I- Steve-” Robin says, not quite sure where to start with the -- actually quite sizable -- pile of snow now on the ballroom floor.

“No,” Steve gasps, and Robin's never heard her brother so distraught. It makes something keen inside her, the sheer anguish in his voice. “No, no no no, this can't be happening, this can't-” Steve reaches up to pull at this hair, but more snow and ice shoots out from his hand as soon as it's pointing towards the ceiling. He flinches away from his own hand, sheer terror on his face, but with every movement Steve makes more and more snow and ice surrounds him. Within a few seconds, there's a wind picking up as well, and it's like a snowstorm is starting to form right there in the castle dining room.

The crowd, originally shocked into silence, starts to move again. Robin hears screaming, people running, shouting from the guards about an evacuation plan, but it's all faint and distorted like she's underwater. All she can focus on right now is Steve, the way his terror is only worsening by the moment.

“Steve, let me help you,” Robin calls over the roar of the crowd and the storm, taking a few steps towards him. She needs to get his attention before getting closer, the last thing she wants to do right now is startle him.

“Stay away from me!” Steve yells, holding up his hands in an instinctive 'stay back' gesture. Yet more ice shoots out towards Robin as he does so. “I’m not safe!”

“I don't care! You're my brother!” Robin shouts back, but Steve doesn't seem to hear her. He's looking down at his hands in horror, then at the waist-high line of ice between the two of them.

Robin somehow knows what he's going to do the moment before he does it.

“Steve!” Robin screams, breaking into a run. Steve's faster than her, always has been, so he makes it to the doors of the ballroom well before she can catch him. It also helps that people, even the guards posted at the doors, part to make room for him whenever he draws near. Seeing Steve push open the ballroom doors just enough to slip through them, Robin yells again, “Steve! Stop!”

“Princess Robin!” Someone crashes into Robin then, nearly sending the two of them flying. (Robin mentally thanks whatever God there may be that she wore pants and not a dress.) After regaining her footing, Robin looks at her assailant to find- oh, it's that guy. The Duke of one of their main trading partners, Tommy something. Haggard? Halfwit? Yeah, something like that.

“Princess Robin,” Tommy Hapless says, bending over with one hand on his knees and the other holding Robin's elbow as he catches his breath. God, Robin does not have time for this. “Princess, you can't- we need guidance. We need someone to... to lead us while the King is... indisposed.”

“I really don't have time for this,” Robin snaps, brushing his hand off her elbow. “Steve's my brother, I have to find him before he gets hurt!”

“I don't think... he's the one who'll be getting hurt,” Tommy Hanger-On says between gasps, quietly, but not so quiet Robin doesn't hear. She makes a point to stomp on his toes as she stalks off towards Eddie, who is doing his best to help people follow the evacuation advice. He looks faintly queasy, and very much like he would rather be literally anywhere else, but he's actually doing a pretty good job of guiding people where the guards want them.

Eddie doesn't notice her coming, so he jumps when Robin grabs him by the shoulder. She turns him around to face her, then grabs him by the other shoulder as well so she's looking him right in the eyes.

“I need to find Steve,” Robin says, not waiting for Eddie to finish whatever question he's opened his mouth to ask before continuing, “Can you take care of the kingdom until we get back?”

Eddie goes pale instantly. “What? I can't-”

“You're a prince, right? I know Forest-Upon-Hills is a pretty small kingdom, but how different can Hawkins really be?” Eddie doesn't look reassured, but Robin cares very little about that right now. She claps him on both shoulders in what she hopes is an encouraging gesture.

She grabs Eddie's hand and thrusts it up into the air, shouting, “Prince Eddie is in charge until I return!”

She then drops his hand before turning and running out into the night, ignoring the chaos behind her and the faint sounds of Eddie's confused protests.

Nothing matters to her now except for finding Steve.

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

I always think about how in multiple episodes it's basically canon that Blanche is bi but considers dating women to be more hassle (which is a whole rabbit hole to go down - does she struggle with societal homophobia when she's with women? Has she only been with fellow high maintenance femmes when shes really after a Dorothy type? Has she internalized the idea that her attraction to women isn't 'real'? Her reaction to Clayton adds to these questions). Not to mention how this goes together with her relationships with the girls; making to kiss Rose that one time (and Rose multiple times seeming very aware of Blanche's proclivities), begging Dorothy for 'relief' and being convinced she's attracted to women too.

Yes, anon! It’s really interesting to delve into Blanche’s psyche about all this stuff!

I started writing down my thoughts and ended up with a long ramble -- allow me to place it all under a cut, so I don't clog up anyone's dash, haha.

Personally, I think she has some strong mental blocks when it comes to her sexuality because of the way she was brought up. I mean, she grew up in Atlanta approx in the 1930s/1940s — I’m sure I don’t have to detail the kind of casual bigotry she must have seen around her during her formative years! Just look at the story she recounts in S1E13 A Little Romance:

“Now, you have to understand that in those days in the South a lot of things were still taboo. Certain people were not to mix. So Benjamin and I had to meet in secret. Oh, we knew if any of the bigots in town found out about us, there’d be a terrible scandal.”

And all of this because Benjamin was a yankee… can you imagine what ‘the bigots in town’ thought about homosexuality? Yeah, I’m pretty sure Blanche learned to suppress that part of herself very early on. We know she turns to denial when she’s faced with uncomfortable truths and emotions she can’t deal with, so I think she likely just refuses to acknowledge that part of herself most of the time, and it only comes out (pun intended!) when she’s not paying much attention to things, or when there’s something more important going on. See the two examples you point out: when she tries to kiss Rose she’s concerned with not being kissed at midnight, and when she propositions Dorothy she’s, well… she’s desperate to get some, if we can be frank.

When she’s in a more rational state, her reactions tend to be more measured… but not by much. She does advise Rose not to date women (S3E10 The Audit):

“Oh, no, honey, don’t do that! No job is worth having to date women!”

But she’s also really flattered at receiving lots and lots of phone calls from women, after her appearance as a ‘lesbian’ on TV (S7E15 Goodbye, Mr Gordon):

“By the way, Dorothy, if I were a lesbian, I sure would be a popular one. Look at this, 20 calls.”

And of course we can’t forget her reaction to finding out that Jean has a crush on Rose in S2E5 Isn’t It Romantic?:

“Jean has the hots for Rose? I don’t believe it, I do not believe it! […] To think Jean would prefer Rose over me? That’s ridiculous! […] Now you tell me the truth: if you had to pick between Rose and me, who would you pick? Who?”

All of these are (likely) intended to be jokes about her vanity and her libertine nature (in the same way as Rose’s observations are), but considering a lot of the writers of this show were queer themselves, it wouldn’t seem strange to me if they were intentionally peppered in to suggest that Blanche might be a bisexual in denial. It certainly fits her character!

I haven’t spoken about her reaction to Clayton’s coming out yet, but that’s immensely interesting too, of course. I think Blanche has the same attitude towards homosexuality that I see in a lot of (mostly older) people in my Country nowadays: it’s fine as a general concept, but when it comes to her family (or, God forbid, herself) then the problems come out. See for example what she says about Jean:

“Well, I’ll never understand what Jean doesn’t see in the opposite sex, but if that makes her happy, that’s fine by me!”

Which isn’t a homophobic attitude at all! If anything, if you take her upbringing into account, it’s pretty accepting. But then, when Clayton comes out to her (S4E9 Scared Straight) and tells her he wants to get married (S6E14 Sister Of The Bride), this is what she says:

“Oh, Clayton, please be serious. You're just saying that so I won't set you up with any more women. […] Well, then you're saying it 'cause you're trying to get back at me for something. Clay, I know you too well for this. After all, I know it can't be true. You're my brother. […] Clayton Hollingsworth. You look me in the face and tell me you really are… what you just said you are.”

“I'm having a little trouble putting this all together. Clayton, I just feel like I don't know you anymore.”

“[…] Dorothy, that's different. We're talking about going out in public. Oh, what are people gonna say?”

“Will you tell me why you want to put yourself and Doug through this? You know how people can be.”

“Oh, look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know?”

Quite the difference from her attitude towards Jean, wouldn’t you say? I think there’s three elements at play here.

1) When Clayton comes out to Blanche, she feels disoriented because this is life-changing information Clayton has never shared with her before. While her reaction as a whole isn’t ideal, personally I think it’s understandable. Clayton is her baby brother; she’s known him as straight all his life, he’s been married to a woman for years before his divorce, and she recounts an episode from their adolescence when he was on a date with a woman and very clearly implicated having a physical encounter with her. He's done everything in his power to pass as straight until this point in time -- I don't find it strange that Blanche would be shocked at his coming out, especially given her upbringing (and the fact that this is set in the 80s! We can't expect modern sensibilities from the characters!). Once again, her reaction isn't the best (she can't even bring herself to say the word 'gay' at first...), but the shock per se isn't that surprising, imho.

2) Blanche is scared because of societal implications above all. She doesn't necessarily see being queer as something wrong, but she's been taught it's not socially acceptable and acts accordingly. Notice how she's worried about what people are going to say, and she struggles to accept that Clayton wants the whole world to know about his relationship with Doug.

Societal expectations in general are a big theme for Blanche's character, and often drive her development; another big example of this is her attitude towards Rebecca's decision to get artificially inseminated, but it's a bit of a baseline issue for her, I feel. She has this whole thing about her beauty and her (supposed) youth and her attractiveness that has some inherent elements, but it's mostly an issue of how other people perceive her, I think, and her response to her brother's coming out is easy to relate to this theme. I mean, she even says it to Rose in S7E15:

"Well, I don't mind being labeled a lesbian, honey, but since I'm not, you just ruined my social life."

So yeah. I think it's safe to say her main concern is societal disapproval of queerness: she wants to be accepted and celebrated by the people around her, and she thinks that being openly queer will destroy her place in her social circle (and she's worried about the same happening to Clayton too, of course).

3) This is sort of related to point 2, but it felt distinct enough to treat it separately. I think she might have reacted so badly to Clayton's coming out (and especially to his showing up with a partner) because he's open about his sexuality, and she's not ready to face what that means for her. My lovely mutual @\hecatesbroom recently published her latest amazing work the odd one(s) out, on the relationship between Dorothy and her brother Phil and how Phil's open queerness might have impacted Dorothy; I think a similar situation might have occurred between Blanche and Clayton after his coming out.

Blanche has a sort of advantage on Dorothy because of her bisexuality, in the sense that she has 'passing privilege' (I really dislike this concept, but allow me to use it to make a point): it's painfully clear that she loved her late husband with all her heart, and she's obviously attracted to men as well, so she can pretend not to like women without too much of a hassle (whereas, if you believe Dorothy to be a repressed lesbian, her situation is much more complicated).

The issue with this is that this 'advantage' is a double-edged sword: she might have the comfort of being socially acceptable, but she's had to suffocate a big part of herself to obtain that comfort. And so, what happens when Clayton -- her baby brother Clayton, the one who's always been just like her, who's grown up with her same environment and influences -- begins openly living as a gay man? I'm sure the situation must have had a strong impact on her, even if just on a subconscious level; I've always found it curious that she seems to have a harder time accepting Clayton in S6E14 than she does in S4E9 (she even calls his sexuality a phase), and while a part of it may be attributed to the higher social exposure Clayton's commitment to Doug brings, I think this may be a result of her inner conflict, provoked by watching her brother live openly while she's been suppressing a part of herself all her life.

Here I'm assuming she's never acted upon her attraction to women before, but there's some space to believe she has done so and has decided it's too much of a hassle, as you say -- likely because she'd for sure do it in secret, given her fear of societal condemnation. If she has been with women before, and decided to give up on it, I still think she'd be greatly impacted by Clayton's coming out: it means her baby brother is a) braver than she is, and b) going to openly face (and likely suffer because of) the same social issues she's run away from. In this lens, I find it interesting that she cautions him about how people can be, almost as if they've both experienced it.

Whew. Wow, this was a lot more than I'd originally meant to write, haha! Seems you sparked a big train of thought, anon! I think all of the Girls (with the possible exception of Sophia) are really fascinating to analyze with a queer lens, and Blanche is always interesting to me, of course. As a final note, I'd like to point out that she does come around to Clayton's sexuality and his relationship, in the end: as often happens, she just needs the Girls' help to put things back in perspective, understand she's hurting someone she loves, and correct her actions. I'd like to think living with the Girls might lead to her becoming more accepting of herself, too.

[foccaccia]

does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

[super-rangers]

okay same anon from this morning I’m back from rereading chapter 1!!

I love that Regina is already repressing her attraction to Janis before she even gets hit by a bus lmao girlie never had a chance. I swear if she wouldn’t have had a redemption arc they still would’ve ended up hate fucking at a graduation party or something

She's been repressing that attraction since 6th grade lmao It'd be unrealistic if I didn't include any thirst from the very beginning

no but you're a genius,,they definitely would have hate fucked and it would've caused a cataclysmic spiral in both of them

[jamiesfootball]

Another snippet:

Half of them showed one moppet, a normal-looking child with a generic kid face, running through the standard lineup of childhood moments: baby Jamie, sitting in a booster seat; rugrat Jamie, running through some dirt; pocket-sized Jamie, buttoned up fancy in a little suit and bowtie, proving at some point in his life he'd known how to wear a suit correctly. The baby pictures could stand to be a little more embarrassing. God knew that Roy’s own camera roll was curated with photos designed to make Phoebe throw a fit when she was sixteen and over him. With Phoebe on his mind, a pattern emerged: dozens of photos, one subject. All kid; no mum. The kind of photos his sister sent him on her rare days off, bombarding Roy with message after message of Phoebe performing the most mundane tasks that only a person full of love would bother documenting. Roy, also full of love for his niece, saved every single one. With cherubic cheeks and fluffy hair, the kid photos were proper adorable. The kind of thing Roy would have gladly made fun of, if they didn't come to a sudden stop. At some point in the lineup, the mum-photos get traded up for professional photography. Glossy, cut straight from the mags, portfolio heads and action shots. There's no indication at all that Georgie has one photo of her grown son that he wasn’t paid thousands of pounds for. In fact there's not a sign that Jamie had ever lived through gangly, teenage awkwardness. No ill-fitted secondary school uniforms, no pictures of him as a lad at the academy. More than a decade missing from that wall.