#luckily she did also give us the choice to go out or order into the office

[winemom-culture]

If you want insight into the extent of my control problems when my boss announces in the morning that a VP is treating the marketing department to lunch for our hard work I feel more annoyed than excited that an aspect of my day was decided for me

[fanofurfics]

V-Day 💗

A Bucky Barnes Fic

Pairing: Bucky and FemReader

Content warnings: Pure self-indulgent fluff, alcohol. Minimal use of Y/N.

Word Count: 1664

A/N: So I did it. I decided to try my hand at my first Fanfic and decided I’d write and share it today for Valentine’s Day. This was written in the span of about an hour and minimal edits, so any and all mistakes are mine. Please be gentle with me 🫣 I also can’t stress enough this is purely self-indulgent fluff with our boy Bucky ‘cause that’s what I want today.

You had just gotten off of work and it had been a rough day. Being bombarded by the decorations, flowers, cards. Coworkers talking about where they and their date were going tonight inevitably asking what you were doing. And you were doing nothing. No date, no romantic night in, hell, no obligatory Valentine’s Day sex. When someone would “awe” or pout, you assured them it was fine - you were fine. But now without work to keep you busy, you really didn’t feel like doing nothing at home all alone. Luckily there was a bar right around the corner.

By the time you finished your first drink, you had started to rethink your decision. More and more couples filtered in, though you were sure it would be the same just about anywhere tonight. You started to really feel alone. You were doing another visual sweep of the room when you noticed a man walk through the doors. His deep set bright blue eyes stood out first. His strong brow and the scruff on his face kept you looking longer. You had always liked a man in leather. You catch yourself nearly drooling and spin back around towards the bar hoping he didn’t notice you clearly noticing him.

You go to take a drink and remember it’s empty. Just as you reach out to wave down the bartender, the man takes a seat at the bar, leaving just one chair between you, and calls out to the bartender as well just as she’s walking over.

”Sorry. Ladies first” the blue eyed lone man said.

“Thanks.” You smile. Maybe it's just because you’re feeling a little lonely tonight but that small act of chivalry makes you blush.

It isn’t long after you order your drink that another man comes to approach you with his scantily clad date in tow. “Hey, do you think you could scoot over so my girlfriend and I can sit at the bar?” You fight the urge to roll your eyes but smile and nod. “Sure.” You look to both empty seats next to you and before you can make the move yourself, the blue eyed gentleman reaches beside him and pulls out the chair next to him without taking his eye off his whisky in hand. You take it as an invitation, sliding your drink towards him and scooting over.

“Thanks.” You settle in, grabbing your drink to swirl the ice. “They should’ve got here earlier if they wanted their choice of seats.” You grumble just loud enough under your breath that he hears it and snickers before he takes another drink. His reaction is enough for you to decide to make a little small talk with him. You’re sure the bartender would like it if you found someone else to talk to tonight.

“Thanks for the seat. I’m Y/N.” You hold out your hand to the man next to you and he takes it, giving you a firm but gentle shake.

”Bucky.”

”Bucky.” You smile to yourself.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just don’t think I’ve met anyone with that name before.” You hope you haven’t already pissed him off by saying something stupid.

”Ah. Well now you have.” He gives a polite smile and goes back to watching the tv behind the bar.

After a few minutes had passed, all you could think about was this guy Bucky. It had been a long time since anyone had captured your attention like this. He was tall, had dark hair, and was extremely handsome. He was quiet, and came off broody, but had been polite to you so far. Sure, you had resigned to do nothing tonight, and maybe it was the drinks but now you didn’t feel all that much like being alone. Unless maybe it was with Bucky. You figured what did you have to lose? If you didn’t hit it off you’d be right back where you are now.

You turn in your chair to face him. ”Have you looked around at everyone here tonight? Most of them have been looking at their phones all night.” He slowly turned his gaze to you first to make sure you were talking to him. You looked at him, eyebrow raised and waiting for some kind of answer. The more seconds that passed, you were sure he would say nothing and just go back to his drink. Fair enough.

He looked around him then turned back to you. “I did notice. Must be pretty crappy dates if they can’t even give each other their attention for a few hours.”

He didn’t completely dismiss you! Great! The two of you continue to make small talk and discuss how sad it is that today people are so in tune with everything around them except those immediately near them. You both start listing off other things one could be doing than wasting time and money out with someone when you’re barely going to connect with them.

You’re really enjoying the conversation and as far as you can tell, he is too. You decide to get a little more personal. “So, did your date stand you up?” He’s staring straight ahead as he takes a swig. Maybe you crossed a sensitive line.

”No” is all he says. You can’t help but think you’ve hit a nerve, but you’re enjoying his company so much you have to try and save this.

”Well that’s good. I wouldn’t want to ask out some guy who was feeling vulnerable.”

Bucky choked a bit on his whisky, then looked at you and cocked his head.

You decided to ask before you lost your nerve.

“How would you feel about being Valentines for the evening? Maybe go play some pool or something?”

Bucky looked around the bar but before he could say anything you added. “There’s a place down the street. It's another bar. They serve whisky.” A small smile creeps up Bucky’s lips. He downs his drink and stands to help you out of your seat. “Shall we then?”

The second bar was crowded as well, but luckily you two were able to secure a pool table and had played game after game. In between rounds, you would put music on the jukebox hoping to hear your song between the long list others had played.

Conversation was easy between you too. He obviously wasn’t the most talkative of people but he was funny, sarcastic. And he was also incredibly sweet. The entire time he had gotten you your drinks and even insisted on paying for them. He’d hold your pool stick for you when you went to the bathroom. There was even a moment when he was taking his shot that he noticed some guy coming on to you and not getting the hint that you weren't interested. Bucky walked right up and put himself between you and the inebriated man. “We got a problem?” Bucky asked. The way this man could stare daggers at people was terrifying. And, a little exciting if you were being honest.

The drunken fool decided to push him in the chest and Bucky didn’t even budge. This infuriated the guy who then took a swing at Bucky, who caught his fist in his left hand and with the slightest squeeze, the man was on his knees. “Okay! Okay! Okay! Ow ow ow!” The drunken fool stumbled out of the bar with his tail between his legs after that.

The hours flew and before you knew it, it was last call and you two were the only ones left in the bar. You realized you had had so much fun you forgot about work in the morning. Begrudgingly you decide to call it a night. “Hey Bucky, I’ve had a really great time, but I should probably get going.” You walked over to grab your jacket off of the chair.

”Hold on.” Bucky put up a hand and then dug out a dollar from his pocket as he went to the jukebox. An old Billie Holiday song comes on and as he walks up to you, he extends his right hand. “May I have this dance?”

You can’t hide the grin that beams from your face and he smiles back. The two of you stand there in the middle of the empty bar and begin to sway back and forth in each other's arms. One hand in yours, the other on the small of your back, you feel yourself begin to melt for this man. He pulls you just the slightest bit closer and rests his face against yours. You had been on dates and had flings recently, but nothing with them had ever felt this intimate. This correct. Your heart breaks just a little as the song ends. You wish you could stay in this moment forever. You’re barely able to tear yourself apart from him, but do. Bucky grabs your coat and helps slip it over your shoulders.

“May I walk you home?” Bucky asks as he holds open the exit door.

”Please.” You don’t see it, but he is grinning now too.

The four block walk goes by too quickly and soon you’re on the steps leading up to your apartment building. You’re about to say something but Bucky beats you to it. “Thanks for the great time, doll. This was the best Valentine’s Day I’ve had in a long, long time.”

“Me too” you admit. “And Bucky,… You were the perfect gentleman.”

He scoffs at your remark. Bucky gently grabs your hand, bringing it to his lips giving you a tender kiss. “Goodnight.” Before he can let go, you turn your hand to grab his. “Wait.” You’re nervous, but would beat yourself up if you didn’t take the chance. You hadn’t hit it off like this with someone so quickly. “Would you…would you like to come in?”

Bucky gives the smallest smile and thinks about it. He shakes his head. “Next time, doll.” He kissed your hand once more. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

Closing the door behind you, you couldn’t help but do a giddy dance before making your way to your apartment and climbing into your bed to dream, no doubt, about your darling Bucky.

[sadalmostlesbian]

D13: District Deep Dive

Idk if y'all are on TikTok and have seen Lucky Leftie's videos on each of the Districts, but she is amazing and really dives into the worldbuilding of each District and the importance of their industry in Panem. HOWEVER, she never got to D13. And since I've gotten a decent amount of asks regarding my thoughts (which OMG thank you all so much I literally love you all sm) i thought I'd make one.

Thirteen is probably the second most explored District in canon, so luckily I have a lot to go off of. BUT, a lot of this is comprised of headcanons that I attempted to connect to actual canon in the most realistic way possible. That being said, I reference my fic Just As it Was (ch 10 and onward) a decent bit because I had to world build 13 to write the setting for the later half of that fic.

Let's start with history and geography. D13 is located in what was once the Northeastern US and parts of Southeastern Canada. It includes parts of New England, Pennsylvania and New York, as well as Quebec. What I find really interesting is that there is an "underground city" aka RESO located in Montreal, Canada. It's essentially a shopping center, but also connects lots of hotels, and residences. Its HUGE. I think Suzanne Collins MIGHT have based the whole "underground city" on RESO. Katniss says the bunker in D13 was the work of centuries, and very valuable to the Capitol. It is also mentioned that they mine graphite (which is a used in nuclear reactors as a moderator or reflector). The Snow family, as mentioned by Coriolanus, held stock in the research labs and munitions factories in D13.

This gives us three industries to explore. I think, similar to District Two, there was a class distinction between the miners and those who worked in labs or produced munitions. Because D13 was the Capitol's main military stronghold, I can assume they were treated somewhat better than other districts due to their military advantage. This may have led to a relatively close relationship with the Capitol, similar to D2 at the time of the 74th games.

D13 is very close to two technologically advanced districts, D3 (technology) and D6 (transportation). I think before the first rebellion, they were able to collaborate and work together, which was terrifying for the Capitol. I think the development of the districts in terms of industry in Panem kind of mirrors the development of the United States. The more technologically advanced Districts are located on the east coast, where the west and central Districts are more focused on raw resource production. With the exception, of course, being the Capitol.

I think this is an interesting choice, but quite a smart play on the Capitol's part. On one hand, they have their most militarily equipped citizens far away enough to make a ground assault relatively impossible, and, incase they were attacked from the West and the Capitol was decimated, their weapons are stored far away, and those who survived had a bunker to confine themselves to wait out the enemy.

Which leads us to the first rebellion, in which 13 led and was then destroyed because of it. I think there was a lot at play here. I think D13 did not initially begin the rebellion, but they seceded to the rebels in neighboring, less fortunate districts and lent their weapons. But the Capitol recognized them as the leader because they are what made the rebels a legitimate threat. And that threat needed to be eliminated in order to quell any hope of a rebellion happening in the future.

So the Capitol bombed 13. However, I don't think that many of the citizens in 13 expected this because of their close relationship with the Capitol in the past. Which leads me to the first OC of mine, Arvada Coin (Alma Coin's grandfather). I think that 13 was headed by a General, rather than a mayor, because they're military. I think this general would not have accepted that their District was going to be destroyed. But some of his officers knew that the threat was not an empty one. Arvada Coin, who had lived underground his entire life because that was the industry his family worked in, pleaded for the General to issue a shelter in place warning and force everyone underground. When he refused, he defected from the military and began trying to get everyone to safety. In the end, he was able to save around half of the district, and the others all died in the bombings.

I think that's why the Coin family is so respected in D13. I think it was some initial forethought that ended up saving the lives of thousands.

Anyway, Coin is military, everyone under his direct command is military. They're all excellent at fighting, but none of them know anything about how to feed, clothe, and provide medical care for thousands of people. They have an excess of luxuries like electricity (nuclear reactors are INSANLEY good at what they do) and weapons but their citizens are starving because they've been cut off from all the rations from D4, D9, D10, and D11. Four whole districts are dedicated to food production and 13 has to find a way to cultivate crops with no arable land above ground and no sunlight. So they start with grain. They strip their hangars that used to house military equipment and devote them to agriculture. As I said before, they have an excess of electricity, so they are able to constantly power UV lights. So their food grows twice as fast, and there's no cold season underground. So they don't starve, despite the Capitol thinking they will.

But you can't eat only grain. So they turn to their allies. Just as the Plinths moved to the Capitol after siding with them during the war. I think some high ranking rebel officers and their families were allowed into D13 in order to escape the fallout from the failed rebellion. Two important people are Lt. Commander Finnegan, a D4 naval officer who served under Commander Harrington (Pup's dad) but defected and joined the rebels and Cera Hadley (Mrs. Hadley), wife of an important munitions dealer in D2 (who was Strabo's childhood best friend, but that's a long story). Commander Finnegan, being from D4, was able to create a fish farm in D13 (look up underground fish farms, THEY'RE SO COOL AND INSALEY EFFECENT). Cera Hadley knew the basics of gardening (thanks, Vesta (Ma) Plinth, for teaching her that btw. We're deep into the OC content now) and was able to cultivate plants important for resolving nutrient deficiencies, most notably, wood sorrel for treating vitamin C deficiencies. Limes, lemons, and oranges are notoriously hard to grow in cold climates, and orchards take up too much space. So they grew sorrel, and were able to modify their crops to grow underground and twice as fast.

And they survived, and grew more advanced with every year that passed, until they were able to become the powerhouse we saw in THG trilogy. But they stayed bitter, especially Coin, because of what they had to go through at the hands of the Capitol. So not only did they have a desire to protect the Districts, but also a desire for revenge which I think provided a lot of motivation for Alma (President) Coin.

I could talk about this forever, but I'll leave it at that! Thanks to @mr-nauseam, @maidstew, and @tumblingghosts for asking about this! I'm sorry if I gave you more than you asked for, but I simply have so much to say.

If your interested about D13 and learning about it in less "info-dumpy" way, please consider reading my fic Just As It Was. It's told through Sejanus's POV and is a Sejarcus fic, but the last half is set in D13 and dives into the character dynamics and specifics of all the people I mentioned in this post. Also I PROMISE I will update soon!

[lablim64]

I get impressed by @weirdsillycreature 's re-desgins

So I decided to re-design lim again and make him look more better than his old version

(Don't tell him that I said this but I think his old design were look like a cheap version of an incredibox scratch mod to me 😅)

That's more like it lol

+ I add him a third bow that actually looks like a bow XD

Also I finally wrote his full story too

Enjoy~

↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓

Lim is an orphan with his oldest sister, he's been adopted and left out a lot as a kid, his good first step dad were passed away and his brother who suppose to take care of lim were traumatized lim with his step brother and step mom, then kicked out from the house, lim's step aunt and oldest sister helped him a little but then the aunt have to put him to adoption again, luckily his oldest sister go with lim to protect him, then lim got adopted again by a family with 3 daughters, the parents were gone work but the daughters were nice to lim, sadly they were way older than lim so they grow out and have to live on their own before lim did, then due to an unknown accident, lim put on adoption again, on the moving days this goes like this, on this times, lim's oldest sister always helped lim about his education and health, until one day they got adopted by an unmarried couple, apparently these two were not lovers but live together as roommates, due to lim's traumas, the new step dad desired to sign lim to parent therapy so lim can feel parent love faster, for now he got two mothers who helps him but far away, and one day the step mom(roommate one) left saying lim were too much to care and she has her life above, that hurt lim a lot since he were like 15, after years at age 17 lim started a job in brimfero laboratory as a janitor for money, he did not like there but he needed the money, but the salary they giving him were barely enough and that got lim pissed so badly, so one day he desired to steal the tests tubes of brimfero and sell them to gain more money so him and his family can move to a better home, but lim got caught by John and mason near the woods, due to lim betrayed the laboratory, John order mason to beat him up and snitch his eyes shit, mason hesitate at first but he doesn't have a choice, so he did, then John takes mason's metal pipe and stab it thru lim's chest before leaving him bloody dead there, lim's death were reported on the news and lim's family were shocked, but after an hour the news reported that lim's body were now missing, that confused everyone ofc, suddenly lim woke up his head in a rock inside the woods, still bloody and looks like how he left like, he didn't understand how he's still alive but whole trying to get up he start to float a little, lim panicked and make a off move that causes him to fall and crack his neck, that caused his head to fall but oh..how is he still alive? Lim were shock, he hold his head in his hands and place it back on his neck, then he realize he break his joints too and doesn't die at all, he were kinda amazed but scared, he didn't wanna face anyone, he were undead and also so ugly looking in his current situation, he float to an abandoned house and looks at himself on the mirror, he start ripping the snitching off his eyes and take the Metal pipe out his chest, then snitched the bloody hole on his chest and re-build his body, while exploring the house he found two ribbons (which he's currently wearing on his head) and use the ribbons to tie his hair up, after all that he start living there, far from home he get his food and needs by stealing and also start drinking and doing cocaine, he even got caught ones in a stranger street (which a lot miles away from where he died) they put him on a mental hospital for some months and after that lim start to live on the abandoned houses and different streets, due to his fear of going back, he sometimes visits his grave and also that's how he killed that 5 victims who were burning down his grave.

(Sorry if there any typos-)

[seerofmike]

Mike's Media Medley--May 2024

hi welcome to mike's media medley where i talk about movies and games i experienced for the very first time this month yippeeeeee

feel free to give me recommendations for things i should watch or play! this month i did actually watch something recommended to me! here r the things i watched this month:

2024 movie/show releases: The Fall Guy, I Saw the TV Glow, Challengers

non-2024 movie/show releases: X (2022, recommended to me!) Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

games: : Little Kitty, Big City (2024), Hauntii (2024), Hades 2 (2024), Birth (2023), A Way Out (2018)

here are my thoughts on all of them, in alphabetical order: movies/shows first, then games, spoilers for most.

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

so i saw a trailer for this movie a while ago, where after a whole town's private things get leaked online they all go crazy and start killing each other and a bunch of teen girls are at the forefront being victimized by them and also potentially victimizing other people so i saw that Bodies Bodies Bodies was on netflix and decided hell yeah let's watch that and i kept waiting for the thing to happen

turns out that trailer was for a completely different movie but anyways

Bodies Bodies Bodies was. pretty fun i think! i was NOT very confident it would be good for the first five minutes because they played some godawful song at the beginning that went smth like 'i'm daddy as fuck' and i turned to look at my friend that i was watching it with and went oh this movie might be bad

luckily it got better. i really enjoyed the lighting choices i.e. having a lot of the lighting come from characters' phones or glowsticks, and while i definitely got the themes of paranoia when the ending twist was revealed it made me look back at the movie in a whole different light and appreciate it more.

i think the movie is at its best when its satirizing of gen z takes the forefront ("your parents are UPPER. MIDDLE. CLASS" rachel sennott you are so fucking funny) but i think the rest was a good time. i might watch it again. it's not like the bestest movie ever but it's fun with friends

70/100

Challengers (2024)

it wasn't *bad*, but i don't think i enjoyed it as much as other people did

i do think the messy relationship dynamics are probably the strongest thing it has going for it, and choosing to use tennis to channel subtext (and sometimes, Just Text) was interesting. the fucking. tennis POV shots went insane and there were some directing choices i liked. personally a big fan of whenever the movie pulls a wide shot of the audience and everyone else is moving their heads in sync trying to track the ball but zendaya just Kubrick Stares ahead

other than that. idk i just didn't really like any of the characters nor have any sort of emotional investment in them. and i do think some of that was the point. zendaya's character in particular being so obsessed with tennis; it's such a core part of her identity, and you can just feel the way she resents her husband. but then her husband sucks too and so does their ex bf and when the movie hinges on the outcome of the tennis match (both literal and metaphorical between the characters) and i don't give a shit about any of them and want them all to die then i think the movie just doesn't work the way it should because i Do Not Care

anyways the score was good but also very funny. two characters will just be staring at each other talking quietly and the score is going the fuck off

my final most controversial opinion is i think this movie got so much hype because it made u guys horny. honestly good for u. still didn't care for it tho. didn't *hate* it but i would probably not watch it again it was just Perfectly Fine. middling. Mid, the kids might even say

50/100

The Fall Guy (2024)

finally some good fucking food

honestly it kind of hurts my soul this didn't do well at the box office. as someone who wants to go into movies i really loved the 'we're making a movie' part of it, the frantic nature of trying to shoot a project where things just keep going wrong, the coordination and effort required to pull off stunts and effects like pyrotechnics or hell even just filming a car chase. mwah

it's also pretty funny. winston duke is in there and he's so fucking good. romance was Fine but i think it was really carried by a lot of the movie's funniest scenes involving the tension between Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt.

between this and bullet train i just like the way David Leitch directs action. i don't normally rewatch action movies like this but i do think i'll watch it again in the future because you can feel a lot of the passion for the craft in here and that's what excites me the most about it

80/100

I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

GO WATCH I SAW THE TV GLOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW

mane. i think this movie changed my life unironically. idk i have so much to say but i dont want to spoil anything on the off chance someone reads this and wants to see it PLEASE go see it. two friends who were obsessed with a horror TV show in the 90s grow up and consider the possibility that it was More than that and there's so much about just. time moving too fast, feeling empty inside, gutted, latching onto this thing in their childhoods so hard as a form of escapism, things are not supposed to be this way and it really hits hard.

the way the movie looks is gorgeous, the color grading lighting and cinematography just give it this offbeat feeling. one scene in this movie is scarier than literally all of the horror movies i have seen this year.

my only complaint is the delivery by both main actors. it was definitely intentional but sometimes it just...drags. especially when you don't realize at first that it *is* intentional. it just feels like bad actors reading off a teleprompter at times. (ominous foreshadowing)

anyways go watch it neow

90/100

X (2022)

(sexual assault mention)

i didn't really like this movie tbh so i don't have a lot to say about it. i found mia goth's accent to be VERY distracting. i'm from texas and i do know quite a few older people who speak with a typical southern accent but hers was so exaggerated it was hard to take any part of the movie seriously. i knew what i was getting into before watching so i wasn't triggered necessarily by any of the movie's content but i still didn't enjoy it much. probably fun if you like slashers more than i do and don't mind seeing a naked grandma molesting multiple people

i think it was competently made though, so idk 30/100?

games:

A Way Out (2018)

was looking for a co-op game to play with my brother while he's in college so we settled on this one. it was like. Fine. i don't remember much that happens in it but the cooperative stuff was implemented well enough

i think the most interesting thing that happened the whole time was when we finally escaped prison and got to a bridge with cops on it. i said 'we should just get in a car and run the cops over'. my brother said we should find a way to move under the bridge. then like 10 seconds later our respective characters made our exact suggestions in-game and we both burst out laughing

Birth (2023)

Birth is a point and click puzzle/hidden object game and I enjoyed it quite a bit! it has a unique and weird, slightly off-putting aesthetic but that's really a lot of its charm. i love the weird crunchy/clinking sound effects everything has. sounds like. bones idk

i like the themes of the game but it doesn't really have a narrative, just some nice concepts/ideas to sit with. none of the puzzles were frustratingly hard and i only ever had to google puzzle solutions like twice (and one of those times it was just because i somehow overlooked the 'interactive' part of the puzzle, i'm sure if i saw it sooner i would've figured it out without needing to look it up). cute little game, definitely give it a shot.

Hades 2 (2024)

do i really have to say anything its hades fucking 2

you can pet a FROG. goty

Hauntii (2024)

hauntii is a twin stick shooter about haunting objects in your environment to progress through mostly linear paths and it looks and sounds beautiful. the art reminds me of houseki no kuni a lot and i was always impressed by it

impressed enough that i played it a couple hours despite not finding the actual gameplay particularly compelling. i think it has a sense of humor to it and visually its a treat but at some point i just got bored and set it down. i have an extremely low tolerance for boredom in video games though, some of you might find this to be a really chill experience

Little Kitty, Big City (2024)

untitled goose game but instead of a goose terrorizing a small british village you are a cat terrorizing a large japanese city

this game was cute! first thing i'm gonna say is the controls were frustrating sometimes and the camera got kinda wonky with certain actions, the platforming elements were also kinda wack sometimes BUT i could overlook most of that because of how charming the rest of it was

i met most of the other animal characters and thought they were cute too. big fan of the magician chameleon. tasks like knocking over jars just to be a menace, earning emotes that let u make a disgusted face, dedicated meow button...im a cat im a kitty cat and it was fun yippeeeeeee

i finished the game in about...6 hours? as in i climbed back to my apartment. it gave me the option to continue my game to complete everything but i was fine with all the content i'd done so far. i didn't 100% it but i'd collected a lot of hats and done a majority of the side quests. cute small game.

HOWEVER. very expensive for what it entails. 15 dollars max for it sounds good but this thing is going for 25 dollar. i'd wait for it to go on sale.

[fairyhaven13]

I rewatched Rise of the Guardians a couple months ago and it made me revisit my story I had been working on. I did a ton of research for my idea of Mary, Jack’s sister, becoming a Deer Woman and a Guardian, but it just... wouldn’t stick. I still like the idea and plan to use it eventually, but not as the main story. It just felt weird. I’m white and Mary’s white and I don’t feel right using Native American culture as her cryptid role. It needs reworking to make it usable.

Luckily, soon after watching the movie, I had this funky dream where Pitch Black got stuck in a nightmare he couldn’t control and had to work with some humans to escape. I woke up going, Whoa, That was Fun! So, I’m working on that idea instead. I really like it so far. I’ll put more about it and this character pictured here under the cut. For those who don’t want to read all that, Lace is my Guardian OC, the Guardian of Comfort! She’s a Naiad. :)

The concept so far is that after the movie, some other cryptids who feed on fear--in this case, Rakshasa--yoink a weakened Pitch into their nightmare pocket dimension. His whole fiasco launched a new wave of fear in humans that made the Rakshasa more powerful, and with him in their clutches, they can up the ante on their own nightmares to feed more.

The pocket dimension works as a trap pulling humans in and keeping them afraid. When Pitch realizes there’s no reasoning with the Rakshasa, he’s forced to work with the humans trapped there to break the nightmarescape and get out. The girl here is Lace Solaris, an OC I’m extremely proud of the design for. She was the first human to accept working with Pitch, and in fact rescued him when they first met, leading him to think having backup might not be such a bad idea. He’s scornful of how genuinely kindhearted she is and mostly sees her as canon fodder at this point. She knows he’s the Boogeyman; he’s clearly not human, and all the other nightmares in that dimension give her no reason not to believe in him, so she sees him. But, she also knows he’s not her enemy at the moment.

Lace is good with puzzles, a patient thinker, and most of all, bent on soothing and comforting everyone. When she rescued Pitch the first time, he woke to her trying to sooth him like a cornered animal to keep him from flipping out, which was just baffling to him. She’s constantly hiding her own struggles to make others feel better and it takes a toll on her. Eventually, Pitch realizes that she’s not helping him as efficiently because she’s breaking down herself, and he’s forced to be more considerate just to try and get her to keep up with him. Being forced to make her honest about her feelings and--ugh--talk about them makes him also forced to slowly actually care about her. Especially since she won’t share her own feelings unless he does first. It makes for a lot of bonding time between running from horrors.

I have several ideas for them escaping the Rakshasa. First, the pocket dimension won’t have proper access to moonlight, or else Manny would easily break it open. So, they need to open up access to the sky; cause “sunrise,” for lack of a better term, since the moon also tends to be out during the day. Second, Pitch has no idea how to work with a team, and so Lace eventually finds an artifact (a necklace or something?) that gives them brief access to talking with the Guardians when charged with moonlight. Pitch hates it, but acknowledges they need the help, and the Guardians hate him, but want to help the humans, so they reluctantly work together.

Third, in order for Lace to become a Guardian, she needs to die to her Guardian Core. In this case, comfort. I’m thinking at some point there’s a monster that sniffs out fear to eat and so Lace needs to keep Pitch and the group calm. She shuts them in a walk in closet or something and says comforting and soothing things through the door. Pitch realizes that the monster isn’t going away after a minute, but has no choice but to wait, since reacting would make the monster attack everyone, including him. When Lace eventually says to open the door, he finds her bleeding out from the monster’s attack. He has to take her to the safe spot they use to charge the moonlight token (to talk with the Guardians) in order for Manny to have a chance to revive her. That’s when she becomes a Naiad and gains the title of Solace, Guardian of Comfort.

Pitch also gradually realizes that his working with her out of efficiency becomes more than that. Their teamwork becomes banter and philosophical questions, Lace’s calm focus and quiet grace are sweet to be around, and on top of that she’s hilarious with a dry wit that shocks anyone unprepared. She’s kind, but not naive, and is well aware that Pitch has done awful things, but keeps saying that moving forward is what matters. She’s so comfortable with him and he doesn’t know what to do with himself when he unwillingly falls in love with her. Ultimately, when they find the key to escaping the pocket dimension, he sacrifices himself to give them time and Manny revives him as the next Guardian: Guardian of Bravery.

Together, he and Lace are the protectors of lost, neglected, abused, or mentally unwell children. His lair becomes more of a sanctuary, still with soothing shadows, but also with a waterfall and lagoon for Lace, and plenty of safe nooks to hide and rest in.

[turtletaubwrites]

Numbers Game ~ Part 1

You Won’t Be Bored With Us

Thank you @discordantwritings for this request! I've been so excited to write some Cross Guild shenanigans, I hope you enjoy it! Also, this will be part 1 because I did turn it into a whole ass thing, lol. Just a miniseries, I swear!

Pairings: Cross Guild x Fem!Reader (Eventual smut, but not this chapter. Reader is in a relationship with Buggy first, then meets the others in this chapter.)

Numbers Game Masterlist

Word Count: 2863

Ao3 Link

Ongoing Series Playlist: Youtube Music Link | Youtube Link

Summary: You left your stable/boring life as an investment banker to have some adventure. Unfortunately, that sweet Warlord of the Sea didn't follow your financial advice, and now you and your clown are at the mercy of his biggest lender and his new business partner.

Rating/Warnings: Eventual Smut, 18+, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Alcohol, Swearing, Angst, Established Relationship, Canon Typical Violence, Manipulation, mention/brief threat of slavery, Humiliation, Blood and Violence, Pet names, Power Imbalance, Crocodile is a villain

A/N: The reader starts out with Buggy, so Crocodile and Mihawk will be enemies to the reader at first. Crocodile in particular is a VILLAIN toward the reader at first, threatening violence and there's a mention of paying off debts by selling Buggy and reader into slavery, as he threatened in the anime. Please do not read this if toxic, threatening relationships are triggering for you. Dynamics will shift after the initial chapters, but he's still a villain and I wrote him that way in this fic. It's very much dark romance style/bad guys need love too/Mafia boss type vibe.

Fuck, my sister was right. 

“Hurry it up, Y/N, it’s time to go!”

“But, Captain Buggy,” you matched his near frantic whisper, “Your crew are calling for you. Don’t you need to give them orders?”

“Fine, fine! Just keep packing!”

You barely heard the commands and lies that he spewed from the balcony, your hands shaking as your mistakes blared through your mind.

You’d been so bored. You had a good, stable life. You were great at your job. You’d started at a bank, and soon you were managing investments for wealthy clients who didn’t want to do their own work to stay wealthy.

You were so good with numbers. So good at helping your clients make smart, safe choices.

Yet here you were, about to get killed by the fucking Navy because you’d wanted a little adventure.

The screams started getting louder, and you heard what had to be explosions, luckily not close by. Yet. 

Kat told me this clown would get me killed.

Tears burned in your eyes as you pictured your sister’s face, pinched with worry and shock.

“He works for the government now! I’m going to help run his organization, I’ll handle the finances, and his mercenaries will help the Navy out.”

“Are you fucking insane? He’s a Warlord! Not some Navy officer,” Kat almost yelled, face red as she leaned toward you.

“I… He’s different, okay. He’s really sweet,” you mumbled, looking down as your fingers twisted in your lap.

“Oh my fucking gods, Y/N, did you fuck that clown? What has gotten into you?”

You didn’t know what you were grabbing and packing, tears streaming freely now.

“Captain! The warships around the island are getting attacked!”

“Who’s helping us,” Buggy screamed, and the confusion and hope in his voice made you drop everything.

Racing to the balcony, you were just in time to watch two Navy warships go down in flames.

Desperate hope filled you now, and you reached for his hand.

He pulled away as news of who your savior was came closer, shouts of triumph sending chills through you, freezing Buggy in place.

“It’s Crocodile! He really does work for Chairman Buggy! We’re saved!”

Crocodile. Crocodile!

All those berries, drained away with Buggy’s antics. All those berries that you were technically supposed to be in charge of. 

All of it was Crocodile’s.

“Buggy, Buggy, please. Where can we hide?”

He turned at your hoarse whisper, his mouth hanging wide in shock.

“Buggy!”

“We don’t have the money to pay him. He’s gonna kill me!”

His strained voice grated your nerves as you pulled on his hand, dragging him away from the balcony, and the adoring eyes of his henchmen.

He was near babbling as you pulled him along, searching for anywhere to hide. 

A frustrated sob left your throat as you remembered what you’d been feeling recently, even with his idiotic spending, and refusal to listen to your words of reason.

I thought I was falling for him.

But the sight of him falling apart now, not only failing to protect you, but even himself, was making you regret every single moment.

Your heart felt raw, burning more with each yank on his hand, especially since his hand was only connected to that fucking pouch he likes to wear.

Then that hand was torn away from yours, Buggy’s yelp making you jump. 

Buggy went flying over your head, sliding down the hallway with a grunt. 

Before you could turn around, you were encased in someone's shadow. You shook as you felt the heat of a body, inches from you. The first thing you saw was the glinting gold of a massive hook, then you had to crane your neck. 

Towering above you was a man in lavish clothes, a purple vest with an orange scarf, and a fur coat. He seemed to be ignoring you, his cigar dangerously close to dropping ash onto your hair.

You felt like prey, like a rabbit. Shivering in fear, just waiting for the wolf to walk away or devour you.

“I know you,” he directed at Buggy, his deep voice rumbling through you. “I thought you’d try to flee without paying me back.”

I’m so close to him. How can he tell I’m so weak? If I had a weapon I could try to hurt him.

As if he could read your thoughts, Crocodile looked down at you, tapping his cigar off to the side before the ashes fell. 

“I don’t know you.”

Your mouth gaped open as you stared into his cold, scarred face.

“Well, you see, Crocodile,” Buggy started bullshitting, moving closer. “Buggy’s Delivery Service may look like it’s doing well, but we’ve, uh… We’ve lost a lot of our big earners, and…”

Buggy trailed on, spouting excuses that made you want to scream at him, until you felt his hand grip the back of your shirt. 

He slowly pulled you backward, away from Crocodile. New tears fell as your pathetic clown tried to shift his body in front of yours, shielding you.

He was too late.

The sting of cold metal wrapped around your neck as Crocodile’s hook captured you, like the prey you were.

He yanked you up, until your toes were barely scraping along the ground as he looked you over.

“If you can’t pay, clown, we can sell you into slavery. I wonder how much your woman is worth.”

“Come on, Crocodile,” Buggy drawled, inching closer again. “Don’t say such horrible things! We broke out of Impel Down together, didn’t we?”

“I lent you money for that sake,” he countered calmly, before looming over Buggy with even more danger edging his voice. “But if you can’t pay, you’ll have to take full responsibility.”

“Responsibility,” Buggy choked out, eyes flicking to you when you gasped from Crocodile's movements.

“I’m gonna found a new company, so I need money now.”

You could see the frantic wheels spinning in Buggy’s head before he puffed himself up, making his body look huge as he spread his limbs out in the red fabric.

“Then, let me help you with that business! This former Warlord of the Sea will serve under you. I’ll work off my debt! We have great resources!”

You brought your hands up to hold onto the hook as Crocodile lifted you even higher. You couldn’t tell if he was doing it on purpose, or if he had just forgotten that he was holding you there. You watched Buggy try to sell the plan, try to save you both. 

“We have advertising design, printing, transportation, and the finest financial adviser on the seas.”

Buggy emphasized the last with jazz hands shaking wildly in your direction, and you cringed.

Crocodile hummed, setting you on the ground in front of him, but still tugging on your neck with that cold metal as he looked you over. You let out a breath when he released your neck, but then the sharp point of the hook traced teasingly on your cheek, stopping your breath entirely.

“W-Wait, come on, Croc. We’re pals! You don’t need to–”

“If you’re in charge of the finances,” Crocodile breathed down on you, ignoring Buggy’s pleas, “then it’s your fault that all my money is gone, isn’t it?”

You started to shake your head, but the cold prick of metal held you frozen.

“No, it wasn’t her fault,” Buggy almost yelled, voice missing its chummy tone now. “Please, we didn’t– I didn’t follow her advice. Tell him baby, you’ve got all those plans you made, right? The investments?”

Your eyes clenched shut, a wave of tears cascading down as he defended you.

“Is that true, girl? Did you try to keep this idiot from wasting all my money?”

His breath was hot on your face as he leaned over you. Your lip quivered as you waited for him to open his jaws, and swallow you whole.

“Tell me.”

“I… I created a plan to manage those funds, using much of them to invest and create reciprocal income for the organization.”

His eyes burned into you, silently demanding more.

“Unfortunately, I was not able to go forward with those plans,” you said weakly, eyes looking down, seeking freedom from his glare.

“I wonder why that could be, hmm?” 

He brought his hand to your face now, huge fingers gripping your chin to force your eyes back to his.

“Tell me why all of my money is gone. You are the financial advisor, aren’t you? Should I bleed the berries out of you?”

“No, I’m sorry,” you stuttered, eyes fluttering down again until his grip on your face became painful.

“It’s okay, baby,” you heard whispered behind you.

“Ca-Captain Buggy did not follow the financial plans that I laid out for him, or my recommendations to adjust spending when funds became low.”

Crocodile’s lip twitched up, and he released you, making you stumble.

He reached for Buggy, hitting him again until he slid across the floor.

“No, please!”

“Why are you crying for this potato sack? He nearly got you killed.”

The menacing man sighed as you failed to speak, then grabbed Buggy by the hair.

“Don’t worry, we’re not killing him yet. Go get your paperwork, I wanna see if you really are a numbers girl.”

Shame flooded you as you nodded, doing nothing as Buggy was dragged away like trash. 

There’s nothing I can do. Numbers, money, that’s all I’m good at. 

Taking a deep breath, you reminded yourself that you are really good at that. And maybe that skill could help you get out of here alive. 

Maybe I can help Buggy after all. 

~ 

That sliver of hope vanished when you walked through the door, your briefcase in hand.

Off to the side you saw Buggy’s officers, eating and laughing happily, as if nothing had happened. 

As if their Captain’s head wasn’t dangling from Crocodile's hand, bruised and bloodied while that hook kept shoving against his skin.

Crocodile was seated on the plush, green couch, using Buggy’s limp body as a foot rest. He held Buggy’s head over the middle of the couch, between him and another man.

The other man’s cold, amber eyes felt like blades through your skin as you froze in the doorway. You recognized him, though you’d hoped you’d never meet the swordsman in person.

Dracule Mihawk. What the fuck has my life turned into?

Buggy coughed, spitting out a piece of paper. That stupid fucking flyer his men had made. 

They hadn’t even waited for approval before spending the money on printing and distributing it. You’d wanted to strangle every fucking dumbass that touched it when you saw the bill.

“The word ‘humiliation’ isn’t enough to express how I feel,” Crocodile growled, as Buggy apologized for the Cross Guild poster, showing Buggy as their leader. 

“As much as I’d like to kill him,” Mihawk mused, his voice filled with calm disdain, “it’s not a bad idea to have him as our figurehead. I would rather live peacefully than become an Emperor of the Sea.”

He stood gracefully, heading to the counter to pour himself a glass of wine. He turned to look back, his head tilted like an animal watching for prey.

“Let him take the heat, and we can get rid of him whenever we want.”

“You’re right,” Crocodile laughed, shoving his hook into Buggy’s mouth.

You let out a choked gasp, grateful that they weren't going to kill him now, but feeling the looming threat that the future held.

And there were Galdino, Alvida, and even Mohji and Cabaji, ignoring his pain, laughing and stuffing their faces. Their betrayal made you ache for Buggy.

Until you remembered the danger you were still in. 

I’m betraying him too. I’m going to work for these men. I’m going to stay alive.

“Who is this,” Mihawk drawled as he took his seat again.

“Uh, I–”

“This might be our numbers girl. If she proves herself,” Crocodile threatened, dropping Buggy’s head onto the floor behind the couch, before patting the cushion beside him. 

“Come here, girl. Show us how useful you can be.”

With wide eyes, you walked toward them, avoiding stepping on Buggy’s body as you sat between the two terrifying men. 

Crocodile’s arm rested on the back of the couch behind you, so you sat slightly forward, avoiding his touch. 

Mihawk tilted toward you, and you found yourself staring at the beautifully embroidered details of his black and gold coat, avoiding looking at his bare chest and abs between the rich fabric.

He cleared his throat, making you jolt, before bringing your shaky fingers to unlatch the briefcase. You struggled, gasping when Mihawk reached over your lap to open it for you.

“Gods, Galdino, will you bring this girl a drink," Crocodile huffed, and you could feel his eyes on you. "Where the fuck did the clown pick up such a skittish little thing, huh?”

You focused on your paperwork, pulling out some of the plans you’d initially brought to help manage the funding Crocodile had provided. 

Mihawk took them gingerly from your hands as Galdino passed you a glass of wine. You were sure that he must be pissed at being ordered to serve you like a waiter.

You chugged the whole glass of wine, closing your eyes while Crocodile chuckled, and Mihawk reviewed your work. 

“It’s well done,” he praised, handing it to his partner. “These skills will be helpful with getting this operation running.”

“As long as the idiots in charge actually listen, of course” Crocodile joked, flipping through the pages. 

He tossed the papers aside, motioning for Galdino to fill your glass again.

“Sorry about all of that in the hallway. You work for us now.”

“Okay,” you breathed out, barely audible.

The back of his hook touched your face, the smooth metal guiding you to look at him.

He studied you for a moment, and your brain tried to make sense of him, of what was happening. His black hair was slicked back, a few stray strands falling over his forehead. The long scar across the middle of his face made your brain hurt. You couldn’t imagine what kind of wound that must have been.

His deep set eyes were judging you, and you fought every instinct to hold his gaze instead of running. 

Finally, he let out a low laugh.

“When I find something of value, I protect it. Do your job well, and you’ll be taken care of. Better than with this clown, that’s for sure.”

You winced as his foot dug into Buggy’s body, eliciting a moan from the man who’d brought you here. 

Chewing the inside of your lip, you sipped on your second drink as they discussed plans to announce the lie that Buggy really is the leader. 

They don’t need me here. I’ll just go to my room.

Each time you almost stood, or asked to be excused, your brain went blank. You just sat there, between these two ex Warlords, these two men who radiated power. The night went on, until all of Buggy’s betrayers trickled out.

“Wait.”

Crocodile’s deep voice commanded as you stood to follow Alvida and Galdino out, desperate to not be alone with these men. But here you were.

“What’s your name? Unless you want us to call you Numbers Girl.”

You settled on the couch, still sitting away from the back to keep from leaning against Crocodile’s arm.

“It’s Y/N.”

“I am curious, Y/N,” Mihawk spoke up, swirling his wine in its glass. “How such an intelligent and attractive woman ended up with this pathetic clown.”

“Please, leave her alone,” Buggy’s weak voice creaked up from behind the couch.

“It’s just curiosity,” Mihawk continued, and you couldn’t help meeting his golden gaze, his large hat tilting down toward you.

“Come, Y/N,” Crocodile joined in, “I could use a laugh. How did you end up with Buggy?”

“We… We met at a bar.”

They stared, and your skin practically crawled at the pressure for more.

“I’m an– I was an investment banker. I was having a drink after work, and overheard Buggy discussing his new organization. I offered my services.”

You shifted your head slightly to look back and forth at them, and their confused faces almost made you laugh. Almost.

“Why,” Crocodile asked, his deep voice almost dangerous as he demanded an explanation. Mihawk just cleared his throat, and took another sip. 

You wanted to comfort Buggy. To remind him that you’d been drawn to him. That he was funny, and sweet, and that your time together that night was what made you want to join him. 

But you knew the real reason you chose to go with Buggy, and you knew they’d only punish you both if you talked about being with him. So you told the truth.

“I was bored.”

It felt like the air around you shifted. The weight of their stares, and the sound of their low laughter made your skin flush with heat.

They both leaned forward, surrounding you as they brought their glasses to tap against yours.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Crocodile’s husky voice rumbled beside you. “You won’t be bored with us.”

Likes and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!

a/n: I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! It hurt beating up my Buggy boy like this, but I made it through, lol

Part 2

| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 | ko-fi |

[deathbysatellite]

Smith Household: Week 1

Once again, I find a dart board has been automatically placed in a household. Dart boards are from Nightlife, while the Smith household, like the Dreamer household, is from the base game. It makes me wonder whether this is random, or if the dartboard will always appear on the same residential lots, like it is with community lots.

Right off the bat, Pollination Technician #9 and Jenny are being cute together.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, in the household rolled the Want to Obtain a Pet. Meet Buffy, an elderly pooch who I think might be a pit bull. It was kind of a hard choice between her and a cat named Roux.

Pretty quickly, PT9 discovered his love for Film & Literature. This also ended up being Jill’s preferred hobby, but I don’t recall ever getting a notification for it.

The welcome wagon arrived, consisting of Ajay Loner, Kristen Loste, and Coral Oldie.

While the rest of the family mingled with the neighbors and out-of-town-er, Johnny headed into town to buy himself a phone for his birthday.

He also rolled a Want to buy some jewelry, so I had him pick up a necklace for his sister.

Johnny ran into two of his uncles. He tried to play Rock, Paper, Scissors with Pascal, but he wasn’t interested.

Luckily for him, Lazlo was more than happy to play.

In an unsuccessful attempt at finding his preferred hobby, Johnny played a little basketball with Joe Carr.

Back at home, PT9 immediately starts bonding with Buffy. I love the how the game uses a different sound effect for the stick landing on wood floor than it does for landing on grass. It just goes to show how much detail the devs put into this game!

Jill brought home Keith Barakat from school.

Now that Jill was home, Johnny had the opportunity to give her one last hug...

...and everyone cames upstairs to wave him goodbye...

...as he headed off to college.

Goodbye, Johnny! See you during the second college mini-round!

Gee, PT9, what did Buffy ever do to you? I didn’t even know Sims could roll Wants to praise or scold a pet.

Jill and Keith played Cops and Robbers out in the backyard. I love watching all the little games child Sims can play together!

Apparently one pet wasn’t enough for Jill, as she decided she wanted a womrat. This is Daisy.

PT9 and Ajay played videogames together for a while. Spoiler: this is the start of an obsession of PT9.

This turned into a sweet father-daughter bonding moment, as Jill watches her dad and Ajay compete against each other. Fun fact, my Sims obsession started with me watching my parents play the games.

Meanwhile, Jenny bonds with Coral over chess. Partially because she wanted to befriend Coral, and partially because she wanted to gain a skill point, and she needed logic for work.

Twice in the night, Jill woke up despite her energy not being full. The second time, her energy was too high for her to go back to bed.

Well, since Buffy was also up, I figured I might as well let them bond so I could fulfill Jill’s Want to be friends with her.

The opportunity to scold Buffy came pretty quickly.

Despite the Want to scold her, PT9 actually adores the old girl.

Great job, sweetie!

Jill invited over Buck in order to bond with him.

I found out elder Sims can doze on certain chairs! The day I stop finding little details in this game is the day I die!

Despite still being exhausted, Jill woke up shortly after falling asleep again. It was at this point that I figured it was because Daisy’s cage was in her bedroom, so the noise was keeping her up. I seem to be correct, because the issue stopped after I move the cage into Johnny’s old room, and started back up again when I moved it back into Jill’s room a few days later.

In an attempt to get some semblance of sleep, Jill decided to try to nap on the couch.

Unfortunately, her father decided that was the best time to turn on the TV, and poor Jill ended up passing out on the floor.

Buffy, that’s your own puddle you’re rolling in! That nobody has bothered to clean up yet! You’re lucky nobody has rolled a Want to scold you, or else I’d make a “urine trouble” joke.

Lazlo decided that 10 at night was the perfect time to call PT9 for a chat.

Almost immediately after hanging up the phone, PT9 gets called again, this time for an offer for a games magazine.

Um, Buffy...Jenny kinda needs to sleep there. Like, she got on the bed right after I directed Jenny to go to sleep.

Reminds me of trying to put my niece and nephew down for a nap, only for the dogs to decide they want on the couch.

Jill played some early morning videogames to fight off the mind numbing boredom before working on her homework.

PT9 is added to the list of Sims who ended up surprising me. He was constantly rolling Wants to play videogames. I’m not kidding about it being an obsession. And it’s not just videogames. He was also rolling wants to play chess and darts. If it wasn’t directly games related, he was usually rolling a want to increase his logic skill, and since the only logic skill item on the lot (besides newspapers) was the chess board, guess where that lead him.

And it’s not a case of constantly rolling hobby Wants, like “Talk about Hobby” or “Read about Hobby in the Newspaper”, since I have a mod that reduces that. He’s just that obsessed with playing games.

Speaking of chess, I really enjoy watching Sims play it in TS2. In later games, they just move pieces at random, and after a couple moves the pieces snap to a new position. But in the Sims 2, they not only move each piece individually, but also correctly, so you can watch them play an actual chess game.

Jenny and Jill both brought someone home with them, the former bringing Daisy Shibata, and the latter bringing Starla Kwa.

PT9 got so obsessed with games that the hobby instructor broke in to offer him a membership.

Finally, somebody cleans up the puddle!

Everyone wanted to go fishing, so I took them Downtown to Sim Center North. Coincidentally, General Buzz was there, too! I was hoping for some drama to occur, but nothing happened. :(

Despite there being plenty of other pets to interact with, Buffy decided she was just going to nap the whole time.

Jill was far too bored to fish, so she played darts with Griff Young instead.

So it looks like it’s just PT9 and Jenny instead.

Looks like adopting Bonkers has turned Buzz into a cat person!

Darts was taking a little too long to raise Jill’s fun need, so I had her start a water balloon fight with Griff instead.

Jill quit on her own very shortly afterwards, so she played on the playground instead.

Done with her nap, Buffy decided to beg Buzz for food.

Once they get home, PT9 finally rolls a Want to wash Buffy. She was really starting to stink up the place.

Jill, meanwhile, rolled a Want to ask for homework help, which I was more than happy to fulfill. There are three days worth of homework on that table, so the learning to do her homework faster will be a huge help.

Play videogames, play darts, win a gaming competition, play chess. I wasn’t kidding when I said PT9 was obsessed. It wasn’t until the weekend that he finally started rolling other Wants with frequency.

Another detail I absolutely love, the fact that the shower will get really hot if someone flushes a toilet that’s in the same room. It’s hilarious hearing my Sims shriek, and then rush out of the shower to go yell at whoever flushed!

I can’t remember if Chole called him, or if I told PT9 to call her.

I finally sent PT9 over to Games of Glory to start a gaming competition.

Jenny headed straight for the pool table.

Did he lose? I genuinely have no idea what this thought bubble means.

Nobody else was joining the competition, so I had Jenny join.

Finally somebody else joined, and it turned out to be Daisy from work, who ended up winning.

While PT9 spent the afternoon trimming overgrown bushes and pulling up weeds, Jenny spent it reading up on anger management.

The who of them then spent the evening slow dancing to big band music on the back porch.

Um...you were literally a pollination technician! You never even bother to change your name from Pollination Technician #9!!! What do you mean you’re afraid of being abducted by aliens??? YOU’RE LITERALLY AN ALIEN WHO ABDUCTED YOUR WIFE’S FATHER!!!

A tree caught fire during a thunderstorm that night, but everyone was too asleep to notice.

Having learned how to study, and having finally rolled Wants to do her homework and get an A+, Jill decided last minute to tackle her pile of homework.

With his comfort need very low, PT9 decided to take a late morning nap on the patio furniture out back.

Jenny and Jill brought home Vivian Cho and Justin Kim, respectively. Hey, just a couple more guest for the party tonight!

What party, you might ask?

Why, a double birthday party for Jill and Jenny, of course!

Having not seen her brother since he left for college, Jill had some catching up to do with Johnny.

Despite the stereo being outside, everyone decided to smustle inside the house. Poor Chloe looks a little lost there.

The Curious-Smith family spent the remainder of the party hanging out in the back yard.

Once the party was over, it was time to go shopping. It’s times like this I absolutely loathe how expensive clothes are in the Sims 2. But alas, I have yet to find a mod that lowers the price. I hope to eventually have some Sims buy some of the clothing stores, so I can lower the price on some of them, and raise the price on a few others. I thing the variety in price would add a little bit of realism.

The shower broke, so it’s up to Jenny to fix it.

The shower’s still broken, so it’s up to the repair person we’ll have to pay to fix it.

Wanting 3 best friends, Jill called Buck to chat on the phone.

When that didn’t raise their relationship enough, she invited him over to hang out, and he brought along Ophelia.

Yeah, I’m fairly certain Pascal did not die. Or get scared by a ghost. Or do anything else related to death.

Except for marry the Grim Reaper’s son.

These two continue to be cute together.

The three teens spent the afternoon playing Marco Polo in the back yard.

Thanks to the secondary aspiration calculator (which is also good to use for Primary Aspiration, btw), Jenny ended up with Grilled Cheese as her Secondary Aspiration. Her constant Wants to gain a cooking skill point has raised her Cuisine enthusiasm enough to earn her a magazine subscription.

That evening, Jill chatted with her brother.

Holy shit! It’s the pack leader wolf! I know some Knowledge Sims in this town who would love to meet you!!

Unfortunately for Buffy, Beasely is not interested in playing.

Looks like teaming up to do some early morning mopping put Jenny in a romantic mood.

And then that kiss apparently put her in a gardening mood?

Jill and PT9 headed into town because the former wanted to meet some new people, while the latter...wanted to buy a handheld game. Why am I not surprised.

Randy London seemed pretty interested in Jill. Despite a one bolt attraction according to the relationship panel, she had to hold back vomit when I had her check him out. Then again, her turn off is brown hair.

Somebody, please clean this place before you all get eaten by flies.

Jill rolled a Want to go steady with someone. As the Sim she has the highest attraction to, it was time to put the moves on Buck.

That was quick. Literally one romantic interaction later, and they developed a mutual crush on each other, while Jill fell in love with Buck.

He said yes!

Perfect, a skill gain Want! Looks like you’re on cleaning duty, Jill!

PT9 had another phone call with Lazlo, this time in his daughter’s bedroom.

And then it’s back to being a cute old couple, by serenading Jenny.

Take a wild guess who rolled this Want. I shouldn’t even be surprised at this point.

I turned my attention away from the older couple to find Jill giving Buck a noogie. I totally forgot this interaction exists! I wish they had included this in later games!

Jenny and Jill bonded out back with a game of catch.

Sigh. I knew lighting the fire place with the newspaper right there was a bad idea. I was just trying to raise PT9′s comfort!

It’s really nice when inactive Neat Sims clean things for you. Somebody might as well do it, since this household rarely does it themselves.

Early the next morning (like 3 AM), Jill and PT9 went over to 94 Road to Nowhere for some fun and relaxation. Exploiting the way time works on community lots is a good way to get Jill’s fun need up before school, and finally raise PT9′s comfort need, which had been empty for a couple days.

Hey, Denise! Haven’t seen you since a grand vampire bit you!

Jill played a bit of Marco Polo with Ivy Copur, before heading home to get ready for a new week.

[thenugking]

So I bought Sims 4 Dream Home Decorator.

I turn up at my first clients’ house, ready to renovate one of their rooms. They apparently don’t care which. I do want something to go off, so I ask for an idea of one of my client’s likes and dislikes. She tells me she hates woodworking. Her father runs out of the house to inform me he also hates pianos. I approach her mother, begging her to tell me something they do like.

“Well,” she tells me, “What I really love... is pipe organs.”

I turn a spare bedroom into a pipe organ room. Every house needs one. I realise I forgot to take Before photos, so I snap some of the entirely unchanged landing. I invite my clients back and lead them up the stairs to it. (They insist on covering their eyes with their hands to climb the stairs, despite the door to their new Pipe Organ Room being closed.) The client who asked for the pipe organ wanders off to use a computer, rather than look at the new room, but finally they tell me they want to talk about it.

"I think I've seen enough. Let's go over my thoughts." "I'm ready to talk about the renovation."

These are among the most ominous statements I’ve ever heard, and I’m certain they’re about to ask, “Excuse me, but why did you replace our bed with a pipe organ?” but they assure me they love it. To prove it, they shake an empty piece of air instead of my hand.

I return home, where a NAP inspector turns up to fine me for not having recycled any of the furniture in the apartment I moved into yesterday yet.

Luckily, I don’t have to worry about the increase in bills too much, as another Sim responds to my roommate advertisment. We go into her room and talk. She seems nice, so I invite her to be my roommate. She accepts, then yells at me, walks into my room to poke at my chest of drawers because she likes that decor style, and leaves  a note on my floor. As she starts using the mirror in my room, I read the note:

"Please follow the golden rule. I don't come into your room and touch your stuff, do I? No, I don't."

I ask her to leave my room and stop touching my stuff.

Luckily, she soon settles down into living with me, making a white confetti cake for us as a peace offering. After we have each eaten a slice, she starts making a white confetti cake She leaves it in the oven, presumably having remembered she already has a white confetti cake. The next day, she clears it out of the oven, and makes a white confetti cake.

Meanwhile, my work continues. I get a request from the Greenburg family to renovate their walk in closet. I know the name, but can’t quite place the family, until I arrive at their house to discover it’s made up of a crane and a large shipping crate. There is no walk in closet to be seen. There is no room for a walk in closet to be seen.

I try my best, demolishing their kitchen area to fill it with closet space. I throw out their easel, because they told me they hate painting. They also hate rockclimbing, so I sadly dismiss my plans of installing a climbing wall in their closet. Knox and Blossom tell me they like the finished product, even though it wasn’t what they wanted. I am entirely unsure what they wanted. Blossom decides to flirt with me, as her wife, Mary, watches. Mary tells me she hates the renovation. This could be because I flirted with her wife but could also be, to be fair, because I demolished her kitchen and replaced it with a closet.

Getting home from my terrible day’s work, I discover my roommate has left a second note, this time in her room. Wondering what she needs to tell me, I go in to look at it. It tells me not to come into her room and touch her stuff. I have to admit, she got me with that one. Nonetheless, she makes a white confetti cake.

The next day is Talk Like A Pirate Day. After redesgning a living room to have nothing pink, blue, basic, mid-century, or to do with bowling, I try to compliment one of my clients, another elderly lady. I get my pirate speech confused, and accidentally flirt with her. Perhaps my purpose in life is to flirt with old women, the way my roommate’s purpose is to make white confetti cakes.

Moving up in the world, I get a gig to renovate the kitchen at the biggest penthouse in San Myshuno. I am unable to enter the building, or knock on any of their doors, so I have no choice but to teleport myself in. I ask a client what she’s looking for in her kitchen renovation. She tells me she hates cooking. Anything to do with cooking--ovens, fridges, microwaves, cupcake factories--she can’t stand the things. She doesn’t want them in her kitchen.

Despite being the kind of people who can afford to live in a penthouse, have a suit of armour costing $8k on display and, apparently, either order takeaway or go out to eat for every meal, they give me only a couple of thousand simoleons to work with. Luckily, I can get more by selling their hated oven, replacing it with popcorn and ice cream makers. I add a guitar. They love guitars.

The family are delighted with their new cookingless kitchen, so I leave their home to buy myself dinner from a street vendor. My clients are apparently hungry too, as, bereft of an oven, one of them heads into the garden to use the grill.

He sets the grill and himself on fire.

A few minutes later, I teleport back up as the rest of the family come out to approach the Grim Reaper, and the body of their father and husband. One of the children complains that he’s hungry. The man’s widow gives the Reaper a back rub. They go back inside.

The Grim Reaper tells me his favourite colour is blue. I head home to rest before tomorrow’s appointment with the Greenburgs. I guess they don’t want their shipping crate filled with closet space any more. My roommate makes a white confetti cake.

[slytherbun]

confession

pairing: jay halstead x reader

summary: you find yourself in some trouble while clearing a location with your partner jay.

word count: 2.8k

tags: @specialagentsoftie @fighterkimburgess @everythingaddictxx

note: different kind of pd fic then i'm used to but hope y'all like it! ☺

"we're eight minutes out. don't go in yet." voight said into the mic but you and jay had already entered a second too late.

jay's been your partner for almost a year now. the one he had before you was a blonde named hailey that took a position from the fbi.

when you first met him it was about a month after the previous detective left and you could tell he was obviously still in denial. you gave him space and only input your opinion about cases you worked on with intelligence.

it took about three weeks until he actually said anything besides the occasional comment. and he knew deep down that you weren't trying to replace her. but since you were together a lot during the week—jay couldn't help but make his own conclusion about you.

he started to open up more when he looked past the stubbornness after concluding that you were a decent person. for a moment there, you could have sworn he was having an out of body experience with how nice he started treating you.

jay started to invite you out to drinks on a periodic basis. he wanted to explore the possibilities of having you as his permanent partner. one night after a couple of drinks, jay was in a good mood and showed you a picture of his old partner.

the two of them were standing in front of their new work truck with bright smiles on their faces. he talked about her a lot after that night as a way of meeting you half-way. and by the end of that month—it was as if you physically knew her and who she was as a person.

the both of you hit it off pretty well and became friends. even as far as, having drinks every tuesday and thursday after work at molly's—the firefighter owned bar.

jay mumbled a curse at the order voight gave but it was already too late. "get behind me." he spoke in a hushed whisper. not wanting to argue in that particular moment you did as told.

detective halstead had his gun raised and in a firm grip around his fingers before stepping further into the house. you followed his position and warily stepped more into the creaky house.

luckily the both of you had vests already on and around your chests. the material easily gave you a visual view of his arm muscles around the freckles splayed across his biceps.

right away you spotted the cans of spray paint sitting on the concrete living room floors. crude words were traced along the four walls and you couldn't help but scrunch your nose at the horrid smell.

it only had you raising your pistol higher.

while you glanced around to survey the room closely, you couldn't help but notice the gang symbols that you were familiar with. due to the cpd database you knew at least three different affiliations drawn over the wood boarded windows.

the overused drug house looked like something out of a horror movie.

"clear." he grunted between paced cautious breaths and you continued to walk behind his careful steps around the garbage to venture into the main hallway of the house.

jay stopped at the entryway and you turned back around to double check the area once again while he scanned the front view where you and he needed to go.

both sides of the hallway were clear but he made sure his gun was raised and followed every inch of the hallway space that he inspected.

you felt a tap on your waist and turned back around to see jay was still facing forward. he probably hadn't noticed the spot he touched of your body but it still sent shivers down your spine with the intimacy of it.

but you pushed away the anxiousness to check and see what was bothering jay. the only thought you should be having right now is how to get out of the dangerous position.

the hallway was full of open and vulnerable space. a clear point of range that could be taken advantage of to take either you or jay out at any time.

jay was concerned for you. he couldn't help the anxious feeling that he had in the pit of his stomach. the unknowingness ahead in the crack house irked him greatly that he couldn’t predict what was about to happen.

the walls of the hallway smelled highly metallic and if that hadn't given it away, the walls were filled with fresh blood splatter. you gulped at the sight of the bright red handprints going down the length of the hall and glanced at jay from the corner of your eye with an eyebrow raised.

he sighed and nodded his head while pointing his gun to the left to signal the continuance of moving on. you bit the bottom of your lip and tipped your head to let him know you were ready to go.

turning your body in a three hundred sixty angle, you watched his back and felt the hairs on the back of your neck lift up in a static gesture. you could also feel goosebumps all over your arms and you just wanted to hurry up and get out of there.

it was truly the most awful scene you've ever been to. with everything you had—you kept yourself together and calm. your lips were in a straight line the whole time.

you should have known with the uneasy feeling that things were going wrong within a split second. and you were right because after jay turned just slightly he felt a gun being pressed against his forehead.

“put your guns down or else i’m going to blow his head off.” an angered voice said into the echoey hall.

not believing what was happening, you turned your body to survey the area and another man came into your view and held his gun higher. “‘tsk tsk’ miss. hand me that gun or else we’re going to have problems.” jay sighed from behind you and you rolled your eyes.

“i’m not putting down shit until you tell me your demands.” you said maybe a little too cockily but it was protocol.

voight had told the team plenty of times to stall and not give up your gun at first. in hopes that the other’s would show up and it would become a better outcome if you just continued talking to the person who was a threat.

a third one appeared and now you were officially outnumbered but you were still hoping they were dumber than they looked. the one that was pressing a firearm to your partner’s temple spit out, “listen lady. you either put your weapon down or else his brain matter will be just another body that was paved across the walls of this house.”

you tried to calculate in your head quickly if you should take the risk of surrendering. voight said they were eight minutes out. and if you’ve been in the house for almost four minutes now.

that was half the time left until they were going to show but then those few precious minutes would be enough time for literally anything.

sometimes you hated being a part of the police force. how could you ever know the correct answer and outcome within a split second of your life? could anybody be capable of that? whatever choice you decided to take would be the outcome.

you knew you wouldn’t be able to live without jay as your partner and in your life. and his blood would be on your hands if you didn’t surrender now. a shaky breath fell past your lips when you clicked the safety back on and handed it to one of them.

of course they used your gun against you and headbutted you with it. little black spots were in your vision before it completely knocked you out. you just hoped the intelligence team would be able to find you and jay.

it would be your fault and you’d feel guilty until your last breath if they didn’t.

you weren’t sure how much time had passed but a hard slap against your cheek woke you up. a blood trail still continued to trickle down your forehead and you winced at the feeling of an awful beating in your eardrums. “wake up sleeping bitch.”

you tried to speak but instead you coughed at the buildup in your throat. not being able to help yourself, in a snarky tone you replied. “i thought it was sleeping beauty?” that earned you another slap that ensured fingerprints across your cheek but you weren’t feeling any regret about it.

“now shut up and answer my next question.” he inputted before you could interrupt again. you looked at him with a devious grin and he rolled his eyes in annoyance. “what were you looking for in that house?”

when you leaned forward, you realized the reason why you couldn’t move was because your arms were tied behind your back. but nonetheless you leaned forward encroaching in his space enough to feel his breath span out against your red cheek.

“as if i’d tell you.” your defiance had him pushing your head back forcefully so you hit the concrete behind you, feeling as if a baseball bat hit your skull.

he smirked at your uncomfort. “perhaps a little visit with your boyfriend will help you come to understand that i don’t mess around. if you don’t give me an answer—my boys won’t hesitate to put a bullet straight through his head.” your only reply was a silent one.

spitting blood onto his shoes and he cursed before grinning again. “yeah that’s what i thought.” turning his head towards the door, he yelled. “bring the pretty boy in!”

your shoulders immediately dropped when they entered the room. the other two men from earlier were dragging jay into the room and disposed of his body roughly on the ground in front of you. if it weren’t for his chest rising up and down faintly then you would have thought he was dead.

both of his eyes were already swollen and you knew he would have two black eyes for weeks, dried blood dripped down his face and you didn’t even want to look at the rest of his body. despite the fact he was wearing clothes, you knew he had many internal problems that would need only the care a hospital could provide.

“j-jay?” you stuttered at the sight of him.

he kept blacking out and struggled to stay awake. jay had been counting his breaths to make sure he had enough air circulating through his body. cracked ribs were no joke and he could only groan to let his favorite person know that he was still holding on.

“you think beating people is the only answer? violence?” you glanced around the room and glared at the three with a venomous look. they shared similar smiles hearing how hoarse your voice was.

“i hope my team finds you all and you rot!” the two that brought jay in walked away and the one that talked to you a few moments ago stood and looked down at you. saying one more thing before walking out the door and shutting it. “and i hope next time i come in here—you’ll feel more generous and tell me what you were up to. if you don’t then our pretty boy here will die as promised.”

as soon as he left the room, you started rubbing your arms up and down the wall in hopes that the binds around your wrists would break off. “y/n.” jay mumbled. you didn’t even notice he had turned his face and you shushed him. “don’t open your eyes jay. it’ll be okay, i promise.”

he tried again. “y-y/n. i need to t-tell you something.” jay’s lip was busted and bruised. he hissed at the pain. “you don’t need to tell me anything. we’re getting out of here, detective halstead.” you stated with confidence and continued to run your hands up and down despite the sting of your wrists.

jay had a feeling earlier this morning that something bad would happen. his gut had told him something and he wished he hadn’t ignored it. but he can’t always follow everything, especially when they didn’t even have their case yet. but of course after finding out the hard way, this case was bad.

he knew it and it still put you in harm's way but jay had to tell you how he felt just in case it did go the way he was hoping it wouldn’t. “i don’t care if i need to keep my strength right now. listen to me please.” he pleaded and you finally stopped, turning to glance at his face.

jay was squinting and the visual of his state had your stomach churning.

“y/n i haven’t been completely honest with you and i need to tell you this. i’ve wanted to for a while now, but i just couldn’t find the right moment to.” it was getting to the point where you were desperately trying to keep together. and now that he wanted to confess a deep secret that he’s held close to his chest, the whole thing just had you hysterical.

jay frowned when you started laughing. he tried to scoot closer but the pain he felt was significant. it was just one of those situations where it wasn’t an appropriate response but you couldn’t help yourself either.

he noticed the tears falling down your cheeks while watching you quiet down. a reaction like this didn’t surprise your partner so he didn’t blame your outburst in the least. “i’m s-sorry. i’m sorry.” you muttered and tilted your head to both sides.

you looked back over to jay after successfully wiping more than half of the tears on your sleeve. and for a moment he just gazed into your eyes with his blue ones. a look that you couldn’t decipher nor describe appeared across his face but he seemed to snap out of whatever he was thinking.

jay cleared his throat and continued with what he was about to say earlier. “it’s okay y/n. but i need you to know that i don’t blame you in the slightest for what went down in that house. i would have done the same exact thing because i love you.”

it was like time stopped and you couldn’t speak even if you wanted to. after all of that time you spent with jay. him wanting nothing to do with you, then becoming your acquaintance, somewhat of a real friend and he loved you?

“you really love me?” you questioned. not being able to believe what was coming out of his mouth. you wondered if the three men drugged him and he was high or delusional. a grunt came out his mouth at the current aching pain he felt all over his body.

“yes y/n, i love you so much. if i could, i’d be over there right now and giving you a hug. then i’d lean down and give you a kiss that i’ve been wanting to give you for months now.”

that honesty from him had you laughing, “months? me too. i’ve wanted to kiss you for almost the whole year that i’ve known you.” you replied with the same amount of honesty he had given you.

“yeah, y/n. it’s probably going to be a year soon but i meant what i said. i really do love you and i’m sorry we’re in the situation that we’re in now. i wish i could protect you from this.” before you could reply the two of you heard gunshots outside of the room. “shit! i hope that’s them.” you mumbled and jay nodded as best as he could.

the door banged open and hit the wall. you almost peed your pants with how happy you were to see kevin and adam surveying the room. “clear!” kevin announced and then walked over to you and jay. adam spoke into the radio, “5021 ida. we have officers down and need two ambos rolled to our location.”

after kevin ripped the binds from your wrists, you crawled over to jay even though your arms were killing you. another tear fell down your cheek when you got up and close to him. he looked awful but now that the two of you were safe, he could begin to heal soon enough. “jay.” he made a ‘hmm’ sound due to the exhaustion he was feeling.

“i love you too.” you finally said and he smiled. you leaned down to brush your lips against his carefully. “after all of this is done. i’m going to give you a proper one.”

you winked and he grinned and responded while the medics rolled in. “we have plenty of time in the world now.”

[legendofzoodles]

LOZ Character Analysis/Rant

The Hero of Warriors

"Master, if I'm not mistaken, you are a true hero of Hyrule."

A soul sharpened by war. From a mere rookie trainee he soared through the ranks in the blink if an eye, shouldering not only the burden of the hero like his predecessors but also the weight of being a leader. Hundreds looked to him for guidance, for orders, to plan their attacks and as a pillar of strength. 

This Link was very different to his lone adventuring predecessors. 

~~~

Before I analyse his character in the game I’m going to do with him what I did with the Hero of the Wild and make up a backstory for him. The game doesn’t give us any insight whatsoever into this Link’s backstory other than the fact that he’s a newish knight in training before the war is under way. 

I’ve seen two main renditions of Warriors’ backstory. One being that he’s from some remote village in Hyrule, living a simple farmer life, probably with Linkle as his sister. The other being that he grew up as a middle-class apprentice in castle town, training to be a shoemaker or craftsman. In both cases something caused him to want to join the military: either seeing an advert poster for it, or seeing soldiers parade around or due to something tragic. 

Ok so, real talk for a sec, HW Link is the blandest out of all the 3D Links, with so little characterisation in game that he’s quite literally a blank slate. What the LOZ and LU fandoms have done with him are amazing! There’s so many good stories out there that delve into how the events in game may have shaped his character. I’m going to do that here, so this is mostly all ‘soft analysis’. 

The only things I really have to go off of are the Dark Link incident and the cocky character entrance he gets (that thing where when you face one of the main characters a cutscene plays where they flex their weapon). Other than that he’s a blatant self insert for the player. So I’m gonna to run with those and have his arc be all about growing from cocky to confident.

At the end of the first level he goes from being a random trainee soldier to their undisputed hero. That success definitely went straight to his head. Not just in in the usual ‘I’m the greatest person ever’ way, but also in the way that he took his role very seriously. Because he was so motivated to become a knight he took his training seriously and this was no different to him. He threw everything he had into it, getting advice from seniors, making sure to be close with Impa (not just as a fast track for promotions but because she’s a reliable ally) and commanding whoever he was in charge of with calm authority.

The addition of Proxi is interesting. In the game she refers to him as a man of few words and then just decides that she’s going to speak for him. Bare with me, but I’m gonna ignore this and say that Proxi only delivered Link’s orders to the rest of his troops on mass using magic and the boy wasn’t mute. Meaning he could communicate with his troops from far away and allowing a sort of disconnect, to make it easier to make hard choices.

Btw Proxi is a chaotic neutral and I won’t hear otherwise. 

But back to Link, I get the feeling that he started out as a nobody in the Hyrulean Army (as in the main faction at the Castle, not the under 18s branch I made up), since he was a rookie barely starting out. Because of this he didn’t have the chance to make friends before the war and making friends within the army casually will be near impossible with the role he’s got placed upon him. To cope with suddenly being in charge of soldier’s lives he had to put on a sort of mask, a way to put a barrier between them and himself, a sort of buffer if you like. He did it to protect himself but also to command respect. Like I said, he wasn’t some well known veteran, he rose to where he was from being a trainee, meaning that not everyone is going to wholeheartedly follow him from the get-go. Respect is earned not given. 

But luckily for Link he’s a charismatic little chappy, who’s able to deflect backhanded remarks with easy manners (if a smidge condescending) and eventually win over anyone. He still keeps around those who don’t like him as long as he recognises potential in them. If not, they’re sent to another squad.

Speaking of his leadership, I’m under the impression that he’s a natural born leader and strategist with good instincts and the ability to perform well under pressure. That being said, up until Zelda returns he’d take up a more conservative and cautious attitude to leading, preferring to wait for orders from superiors before making a move, simply because he lacks experience and knowledge. With each battle he becomes more proactive and takes initiative when drawing up battle plans.

Oof, so Zelda. Most people agree that he’s has the most tumultuous relationship with his Zelda compared to the other Links. I disagree with that, prefering to reserve that title for post-game Time and Lullaby, or pre-Yiga Attack Flora and Wild. 

Link would have had a neutral positive opinion of Zelda. To him, being in good graces with the princess- maybe even being friends is huge. It would give him more credit, legitimacy and power in the army and it’s another fast track to being rich. 

When she initially goes missing he’s worried about her, but only because it means that they’ve lost their commander which would give their enemy the advantage and since he’s not evil he’s going to worry regardless. He might have felt something when their eyes met during that training session, but I wouldn’t bet on that being anything deep. She may have crossed his mind now (like in the cutscene after completing the ‘The Sorceress of the Woods’ level) and again, but they’re strangers so they wouldn’t mean much and besides he’s fighting in a literal war right now. 

When she does come back, nothing significant happens between them, because they’re fighting in a war! There’s not going to be much room for alone time between strategy meetings, long expeditions, writing letters to families of fallen men, training and keeping track of supplies. Anyway, I get the feeling that this Zelda is a practical no nonsense leader, she’s got her priorities and isn’t going to get distracted. Those two would have acted more like work colleagues.

I feel like Link would have underestimated Zelda upon first impressions, seeing her as someone who needed to be protected. Only for his assumptions to get eviscerated once she finally took to the battlefield in her true form and after finding out she was Sheik. 

To be honest, the three people Link was closest to were Fi, Proxi and Impa. Proxi should be obvious; she was there yelling in Link’s ear 24/7. I chose Fi because he spent two whole levels with just her, plus she’s the best person he can discuss the whole hero thing with. I don’t believe that those two were ever friends though, not like Sky and Fi. I also chose Impa because she was the one that gave him the hero uniform and believed in him. She was the one he saved from Volga and thus, that kind of introduction was bound to lead to a friendship. I’d argue Impa was Link’s only real friend during the war.

Unlike Wild, Time and Twilight this snooty officer never really bonded with the Gorons and thus never became one of their honorary brothers. Darunia was just a regular ally to him, like Agitha, Ruta and Midna. 

Volga. Ngl, he never really stood out to me when I played HW, but I’ve seen and agreed with the headcanon that their first fight scarred Link. Mentally as well as physically. Which, in the context of the game makes sense. To the player he was just the first boss, and easy introduction to the game, but to Link he was the first powerful enemy he ever faced. Add to that the burn scars he received from not being properly equipped (remember he was in just his trainee uniform), and yeah, that would leave a lasting impression. 

Volga also got a sort of redemption thing going on. I can’t quite remember it, but maybe that could have factored into Link’s growth as well. Making them less like mortal enemies and more like rivals. 

I don’t buy that Link ever genuinely forgave Cia. At the end of the Wind Waker campaign when Cia is rescued and redeemed, Link seems to do the generic anime nod along with everyone else when she apologises. I can totes see him pretending to get along with her, putting on a friendly mask so that working with her would be somewhat tolerable but still holding a grudge for all the suffering she caused. 

That dlc war must have been so awkward for Link. He must have been forcing himself to be civil with Cia when she joined their side. If not for the sake of being the better person, then at least for team morale and keeping Lana happy. 

Her war led to the deaths of many good soldiers. The embarrassment he had to endure when the army stormed the Temple of Souls only for his men to finally see first hand how obsessed she was with him. Which probably damaged his reputation to such extent that he’s still struggling to repair it. Unlike with the other Links, the war he fights against Cia is incredibly personal, since it’s because of him that the war even started. 

The war wasn’t his fault and he knows it, because Cia didn’t even know him. And while you could say it wasn’t entirely Cia’s fault because Ganondorf was manipulating her, she did too many awful things of her free will to be absolved of blame. 

Btw, Ganondorf didn’t mean much to this Link. He was a formidable threat sure, but they had no personal connection to each other and taking him down was a group effort (go team). Link’s personal enemies were Cia and Volga.  

Going back to Lana, since I believe that this Link is very emotionally intelligent it means he would have been aware of Lana’s crush on him. Luckily she never really acted on it, so Link could act like an ally. Whether he feels something for her or not is up to the player. I don’t personally, since she isn’t really any more special than any other of his allies. But she seems fun to be around and I think Link would appreciate her upbeat attitude and respect her prowess on the battlefield.  

All strong and reliable allies are good in his book.

There are snippets of development in Link’s character in HW. The standout moment being when he faces Cia alone at the Temple of Souls and she makes some evil clones of him. But rewinding a bit, I said before that Link let the sudden promotion and power go to his head. Think about it though, General Impa dubbed him the legendary hero after he saved her (and he didn’t do it perfectly), he has a close circle of powerful allies who verbally lick his boots at every opportunity (Proxi being his main cheerleader), Fi literally accepts him as her master in a heartbeat (before he has the Master Sword mind you), he hasn’t made any significant mistakes, he’s got the glowing mark of the Triforce as extra validation (although given by his confused looks at it in cutscenes I’m convinced he isn’t 100% sure of what it actually means) and he retrieves the Master Sword with little issue. 

How could he not, at least a little bit, have all that reinforce the notion that he’s the greatest being to ever exist? How could he not become cocky? In his mind it was all completely justified, he had the skills and he was the hero, it was his job. Up until the Temple of Souls he was probably in a sort of bubble- not that he wasn’t diligent or incompetent- he was still taking it seriously, but the mistake during this stage that meant his forces had to flee really made him shape up. 

Cia did to him what Ganondorf did to her. She took the ugliness in Link’s heart: his overconfidence, brashness and superiority complex, and used her dark powers to create physical manifestations to attack his allies. The fact that those apparitions are so powerful to begin with show how strong those feelings were. 

Not only did those fiends weaken his forces and further ruin his reputation, but he couldn’t deal with them alone even though they were coming from him and his allies essentially saved his life. On top of that having the battle be effectively lost due to the fact that the army was so overwhelmed they needed to retreat, would make this a very humbling experience for him. It was like a turning point for him. He learned a lot of lessons from it and worked to be better. It turned him from an inexperienced lucky rookie to an experienced and confident leader who people can rely on and look to for guidance.

He apologised to his men, and strove to make deeper connections with them. He no longer saw the sword as a crutch or this all powerful instrument and was more than happy to put it back when the time came. 

Also after going through all that, I don’t think that Link could just walk away from the army or go through with his original plan of ditching action for a life of comfort and luxury. A shallow life of riches no longer satisfied him. 

Oh, about the fates of his parents. It’s tradition for Links to be orphans so maybe they die in prison or perish when Hyrule Castle is attacked. Or maybe they killed themselves/fled the country before they could be arrested...idk. Either way, they don’t show up in Link’s life again and he never much cared for them anyway. 

So, even after it was all over he stayed and rose the ranks properly like any old soldier. He did get special honour by virtue of being the hero, he and his teams are allowed more autonomy and he’s allowed to carry out assignment solo if he wishes. He doesn’t though- I truly believe he prefers to travel and fight with allies, another thing that separates him from the chain who are mostly all loner adventurers.  

I can also see him being a diplomat as well as a soldier after the war is over. As a close friend of the princess and high ranking military official, he would be invited to all sorts of fancy political dinners with backstabbing nobles and leaders of other nations/tribes. 

The mask he created for himself the moment he became the hero never really came off. It couldn’t come off. He only became more famous following the war and was now forever in the public eye. He’s got to be careful now when he’s out and about, vigilant to not fall for assassination attempts from political rivals or enemies. He can’t afford to get drunk and do something stupid in a bar, unless he wants to end up a scandalous article in the paper. Speaking of scandals, he even has to watch out for who he speaks with behind closed doors, one misunderstanding could lead to disreputable rumors. 

Perhaps such a rumour circulated among those in the royal court regarding her majesty's relationship with the hero, causing the two to grow apart. Hence their strained relationship after being fairly close friends towards the end of the war. Also, since Link is obviously aware of his good looks and is a bit of a flirt, there’s no way he didn’t try a few good humoured pick up lines on the princess in casual conversation. Only when they were alone or with close friends behind closed doors. 

I love the idea that Linkle joins the military at the end of her campaign and Impa puts Link in charge of her. Since in my story Link spent a year working in Linkle’s village, the two knew each other vaguely. Linkle used to see him as a haughty snob but now respects him greatly as one of Hyrule’s best soldiers and looks up to him. Link used to see her as a strange airhead who talks to birds... and his opinion is largely unchanged, except that now he can’t deny that she also fights good. They have the ‘strict older brother and chaotic little sister’ dynamic To Link, spending time with Linkle is like speedrunning the journey to premature baldness. 

Are they actually related? No, but they give off the vibe to outsiders that they could be.

Random thought: now that I think about it... maybe Link talks to Cia during the WW levels about acknowledging the darkness within you and working to better yourself so that you can control it before it controls you. Perhaps he’ll do a similar thing to Twilight in LU in a subtler way, so that he doesn’t succumb to the dark curse placed on his slash wound from Dink.

To see my take on his fear of traitors see: LU deepest fear headcanons

~~~

Thanks for reading!

For more character analyses see links here:

Hero of the Sky, Hero of Time, Hero of Twilight, Hero of the Wild

Masterlist

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

in which you’re harry’s assistant and harry needs to open his eyes.

a/n: ASSISANT!YN has finally arrived! this took me three weeks and a half to write, so please enjoy and kindly rb with feedback! i’ve had this concept in mind for SO long, and i’m proud of it! this is also inspired by my love for the barcelona pic, pictured on the left, that I think about on the daily along with some thoughts in a dressing room! also picture on the right at the final show is an aspect in the story as well!

also big thank you to my bestie @stylesloveclub for screaming and hyping this up for me while I rave about it, ily!

enjoy a long slowburn of 26.3k words of a friends to lovers fic that’s filled with angst and some smut! genuinely be ready for the angst hehe

COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALKING ABOUT WANT YOU HERE! i’d love to know your thoughts and feedback!

pls rb to share! <3

16 December 2017

The smell of fresh flowers brought allergies to your senses as you shuffled and continuously rubbed your nose with a tissue. 

You were at the flower shop with two bouquets in your hands as you debated which bundle to get. You were given specific instructions to find a bouquet that’s full and big with the color white being the dominant color of the bouquet, and your options were a white orchid bunch, which weren’t your personal favorite, but it was one of the white bouquets, and your other option was a white lilac bouquet with a couple of white roses and baby’s breath around the large lilacs. 

“Do you need help choosing a bouquet?” The lady that was named Vicky asked. She had an expression of curiosity as she was probably wondering if you were going to buy anything since you’ve been standing in the corner for quite some time as you tried choosing which bouquet to get. 

“Oh, no. Thank you,” you replied back with a smile, and she nodded her head, walking away to help another customer, but you knew she was going to be back to ask you again in the next ten minutes if you don’t make your mind up right now. 

After another three minutes of deciding, you opted for the white lilac bouquet, and headed to the cashier. You gave the employee your number for rewards since you were at the flower shop quite a lot that you’ve managed to rack up some points in order to get a free bouquet. Once you paid and were on your way, your phone rang in your purse. Struggling to reach for it as you were holding the big bouquet and a few shopping bags, you moved to the side to set your paper bags down on the ground, and quickly grabbed your phone so it won’t go to voicemail. 

“Hey,” you answered cheerfully, knowing exactly who it was. 

“Hi there. Where are you?” The voice from the other end asked. 

“I just left the flower shop—should be there soon.” 

“Okay, perfect. Thank you for everything.” 

“Harry, you don’t need to thank me every single time,” you chuckled. “I’m your assistant. It’s my job.” 

“I know, I know. It’s just…I’m grateful for what you do,” he said thankfully. 

“I know, and I’m grateful for having this job and working for you. So, thank you also.” 

“Look who’s saying thank you now,” he joked, and you laughed. “But I’ll see you soon. Walk back safely, please,” he said, bidding you goodbye. 

“Always do. See you,” you hung up the phone, picking up the shopping bags, and walking towards Harry’s place. 

You’ve been Harry’s assistant for quite some time now; exactly two years. You started working for him when you were both twenty one, and he had just gone separate ways from the band. Harry was in the midst of writing his very first album and planning his first world tour as a solo artist in smaller theatre venues, and desperately needed an assistant to do some basic errands and remind him of his scheduling. Luckily as Glenne’s friend, you were in need of a job. You were fresh out of college as you had your bachelor’s in public relations, and being friends with someone who’s boyfriend is in the industry has its perks. 

Glenne had immediately recommended you once Jeff mentioned that Harry was looking for an assistant, and since Jeff had met you a handful of times, he told Glenne to call you in for an interview, but somewhat knowing that he was going to hire you already since Harry desperately needed one and you were a friend. 

When you walked into the interview, you were greeted by Jeff and Harry. That was your first time meeting Harry, and you were quite shocked that he was a real person. Of course you were a fan of him, and you were still surprised whenever Glenne talked about him, but when you saw him for the first time, you immediately thought that he was more gorgeous in reality. 

“So nice to meet you,” Harry said, shaking your ring filled hand. The coolness of his metal rings met your shaky hands, and sparks had immediately shocked your body. 

“Great to meet you too. I love your shirt,” you complimented. He was wearing a bright blue button down shirt with a cherry blossom print on it with a white t-shirt underneath along with some black skinny jeans and brown boots. 

“Thank you. Your trousers are very nice,” he said back, looking down at your pants. You were wearing burnt orange corduroy pants with a white semi turtleneck blouse with a pussybow tie on it, along with some black booties. “Actually, I love your whole outfit,” he added, and you chuckled, trying to hide your blush. 

Never in a million years would you have thought you would meet Harry, let alone Harry complimenting your entire outfit. You’re really living the dream. 

The interview went extremely well and only lasted about thirty minutes. The first ten minutes were some generic interview questions because they still had to keep it professional, but the last twenty minutes consisted of asking about your interests and simply getting to know you because you would spend most of your time with Harry. 

At the end of the interview, it was quite obvious Jeff and Harry knew they wanted to hire you. They loved your personality and how you made jokes, especially how you laughed at Harry’s jokes, which he thought was a very important aspect of being his assistant. 

Jeff exited the room, telling you he would be right back, but really he went into his office to grab some paperwork for you to sign. That left you and Harry in the conference room alone as you made conversation with him about university. You also told him that you were a fan of his, which you thought was a mistake to tell him because you’re sure he doesn’t want a crazy fan to be his assistant and practically have access to his personal life, but he said gratefully said thank you, and asking if you had a favorite song off new released album. Your favorites off his album were ‘Only Angel’ and ‘From the Dining Table.’ 

“Good picks,” he teased. 

“I would hope they’re good picks. It is your album,” you teased back, making him laugh, and he thought that it was a great choice making you his assistant. 

Once Jeff was back, he opened a folder, taking out various paperwork before Harry broke the news and told you that he’d love for you to be his assistant. You hadn’t expected to be hired on the spot, or be hired in general, but there you were, reading over the contracts and signing your name at the bottom of the last page along with the date. Jeff and Harry both shook your hands, telling you that they were excited for you to be along with the ride, and you told them that you were excited as well. 

You had thanked Glenne a million times for getting you an interview, and till this day, you always made sure to thank her because one mention of your name had gotten you an opportunity and a well paying job that you actually really loved. 

Harry also made the job bearable; not truly treating you as only an assistant, but rather a friend who helps a lot. Throughout the years of knowing each other, you and Harry had grown quite close. With always being around him, it was like hanging out with him, and you were thankful for that because you were sure no other job would feel like this. Harry also doesn’t give you difficult tasks either. He just has you go on coffee runs or run to the store to grab him something, but the most work you’ve had to do for him was to call several people on his guest list for a party he was hosting last year or write out his whole schedule for the entirety of the year. But nothing strenuous that would leave you frustrated with him. 

He would also make sure everything that he assigns you to do is okay for you to do, and you really appreciated that, but you would do anything for that man. 

You stood in front of Harry’s door, setting your bags down onto the floor before you reached into your purse to grab your keys where a spare key to Harry’s place hung on the metal ring. Before your hand could even find them, the door swung open revealing Harry smiling at you, looking impeccably sharp in his suit, which caused your heart to flutter. 

“Ah, thought I heard you. Here, let me help you,” he grabbed the shopping bags from the ground and the flowers from your hands, leaving you empty handed as you followed behind him into his home. “Thank you for getting these. I’ve just been so busy lately,” he thanked once again as he did on the phone. 

“Yeah, I know. Afterall, I am your assistant,” you teased, and he laughed as he studied the bouquet. 

“This is a lovely bouquet. Good pick,” he said, and your mind immediately goes back to when he said that to you for the first time at your interview. He said it quite often as you ultimately always make the decisions when he asks you to go out and grab something for him. 

“I thought so too. Also,” you opened one of the shopping bags, taking out the garment bag before unzipping the entire thing, “I got the exact dress you asked for, and get this: it was the last one in her size. Lucky man, you are, Harry Styles,” you handed him the Yves Saint Laurent black dress so he could get a better look at it, and he held it up, smiling. 

“It’s perfect. Thank you so much, angel,” he said, and you slightly blushed from the pet name that you would never get used to. 

Harry started calling you ‘angel’ when you were two months into working for him. With all the work you do for him, the pet name had slipped out, but it stuck once he kept calling you that. You loved it--a lot, and you hoped that one day, he wouldn’t forget to call you that because you would miss the simple name coming out of his mouth very much. Plus, it was fitting because your favorite song of his is ‘Only Angel.’

“Are you excited for tonight?” You asked. 

“Yeah, I am. It’s been a while since I’ve properly taken her out on a date, so I’m stoked for it. Pretty sure she is too.” Harry had a busy schedule. With being involved in interviews and promo for his upcoming tour, he was a busy man, which you knew of course. But it had affected his personal life greatly. 

“Well, I’m happy if you are. I hope she loves the dress,” you said painfully. 

“She will. She’s been talking about it for a while now. I just hope she didn’t go buying it without telling me because that would be really awkward once I tell her to go change into this,” he chuckled softly, and you joined him, agreeing. Harry quickly checked the time on his phone as it read 6:30 p.m, and he carefully placed the dress back into the garment bag and zipped it up. He grabbed the bouquet of flowers and his wallet on the counter. “I gotta go. Gonna be late if I don’t leave now. Lock up for me if you decide not to stay, yeah?” You nodded, walking him to the door as if it were your house. “Oh!” He turned back around because he had forgotten something, and you were holding up his keys already, and he chuckled. “Thanks again. You’re a lifesaver. Don’t know what I’d do without you,” he leaned in to give you a brief kiss to your cheek, which he has done often, and you waved at him. 

“Have fun tonight! Call me if you need anything,” you called out from his front door and he waved the flowers as a sign of goodbye before getting into his car. You watched him reverse out of his driveway and drive off to his girlfriend’s house. 

With a sigh, you closed the door, looking around at what needs to be done. Harry’s place was relatively clean. He just had some things laying around on random surfaces, and you think that was probably because he was in a hurry, so he just placed them on the nearest surface. If Harry were here, he would probably tell you that cleaning up his own mess was so unnecessary and that he doesn’t expect you to, but you know that he’s grateful you’re doing it anyways. 

You were silent as you tidied up his house, putting things back in his closet, and washing the bowl of yogurt and fruit he eats in the morning. It was an unnerving silence, and you just wanted to make any kind of noise just to fill the quietness that was slowly eating you away. You grabbed one of his shirts off the ground that slipped off the hanger, and you brought it up to your nose. His scent filling your senses as you closed your eyes, taking his smell in. You inhaled enough to practically take away his entire scent that was left on his shirt to fill the satisfaction in your body as you pretended he was close. 

As you did that, you uncontrollably sobbed into the material, letting out a heartbroken cry as you covered your face with his shirt. You slowly sank down to the floor, completely sitting down on the cold tiles. The sudden outbreak of your cries weren’t new; they had made their appearance when he left for dates or after he was done talking about someone he liked. When you would go out to the store and grab things he wants gifted. When he would call you angel while he was with the devil who was keeping you two apart. 

Once you calmed down a bit, you thought about how hugging his shirt was the closest you would get to him as you wished you were the lucky person he would be greeting them with his presence and a pretty batch of flowers, but he doesn’t even know your favorite flower.

It was the next day, and you woke up in the comfort of your own bed. 

You had taken an Uber home around ten p.m the night prior as you figured Harry was still on his date and perhaps wouldn’t be coming home till later. So, after watching a movie on his couch and having dinner, you turned off all of the lights and locked up as you headed to your place for what you hope is a relaxing night. 

A weird feeling had taken over you as you got ready for bed and it felt strange. You knew you weren’t yourself, and you hated that. The outburst of your crying was long forgotten as you climbed into bed and slept the day away. 

Once you had woken up from your deep slumber, your charged phone was ringing with your text tone. Groaning, you stretched your body from the tenseness from your sleep before you reached for your phone, unplugging the charger. You rubbed your eyes and blinked a bit as the brightness of your phone was straining to your vision. When your sight had cleared up, you were greeted with various messages from Jeff, asking if you had heard from Harry or if you’ve seen him. Going to Harry’s message, you hadn’t received anything, so you texted Jeff back and told him that he hadn’t contacted you and the last time you saw him was last night. Jeff immediately texted back, asking you if you could kindly go to his place and check if he was there, and you instantly said yes, a bit worried as Jeff seemed to be worried as well. 

You got out of bed for the day, not wanting to leave, but knowing you had responsibilities, you got ready for the day, doing your normal hygienic routine.

 It was Sunday, and usually on Sundays, you didn’t have much work to do since it was Harry’s day off as well. That is, if it’s not on tour, he gets a nice little day to himself. So, you chose a comfy outfit—one where you wouldn’t sweat so much as you walked to Harry’s house in the summer heat. You opted for a big t-shirt and pairing it with black biker shorts, and some sneakers. With one last look in the mirror, you were out the door and headed to Harry’s house. 

The day was beautiful as the sun was out and the sky was blue. Rarely any clouds to overcast the sun, and there was a slight breeze in the air, making the walk more bearable so you wouldn’t sweat all that much. 

Once you got to Harry’s house, fortunately, it wasn’t that far of a walk from where you live, you unlocked the door and walked in. 

“Harry?” You called out, looking around the living area. His shoes that he normally wears out are by the couch, so he should be somewhere. He might still be asleep, you think. You walk up the stairs to his room, knocking lightly before entering. And what you saw was something you wanted to erase from your memory forever. “Oh, fuck! Sorry!” You immediately slammed the door as you stood still outside of his room, in disbelief of what you just saw. 

You had just witnessed Brooke giving Harry head. They were both obviously naked, and her actions were on full display too because the bed faced the door and Brooke was on the side of Harry rather than in front of him as she had his dick down her throat, and of course, Harry had his head back, simply enjoying it because what guy wouldn’t. 

You heard shuffling through the door, and that took you out of your spaced out mind; quickly walked down the stairs and to the kitchen, grabbing yourself a glass of water, feeling yourself get flustered from how bare Harry was in front of you. 

“God, does she ever learn how to fucking knock?” You heard Brooke faintly say as they both walked down the stairs, most likely thinking you didn’t hear, but you definitely did as her voice echoed throughout the whole fucking house. “Hey, girl,” she smiled once they both made it to the kitchen, and it was the fakest smile you’ve ever seen. No wonder she’s a good actress, you think. 

“Hi,” you said back, sipping your glass of water as you avoided eye contact with Harry. 

“Hi. What are you doing here? Do I have to be somewhere today?” He greeted, but immediately asked questions as if you were invading his privacy and day off. You looked at him very briefly, but remained your sight on his marble counter. 

“Uh, no. Jeff told me to come here and check on you; said that he hadn’t heard from you, so he was worried,” you explained, glancing up and Harry nodded. 

“Oh, okay. The last time I talked to him was before I left, but I hadn’t checked my phone since. Was it anything urgent?” You shook your head, realizing Jeff never really explained why he needed Harry, but you brushed it off. 

“He bought me this lovely bouquet of flowers and a pretty dress for dinner!” Yeah, I know. I was the one who got them, you thought. “Then he took me out on a boat ride, and we came back here-”

“Spare me the details? I already know all of this. I am his assistant afterall,” you said in a not so friendly tone, interrupting her and not wanting to know the details of what happens in his bedroom that entails Brooke. Usually, you weren’t so harsh to anyone, but you had a reason to be a bit stern with Brooke because she bites back. Unfortunately for her, you bite back even harder. 

Harry and Brooke have been dating for what seems like forever, but it’s really only been about six months. You tried being nice to her--you really tried, giving her your patience, but every time you see her, she would act cold towards you. Of course not in front of Harry because he thinks she’s an absolute saint, but she was the complete opposite of that. She was the devil and you were the angel. But of course, Harry doesn’t see that. 

Brooke gives you a harsh look, rolling her eyes a bit as Harry grabbed a glass of water for both of them. She turns to him, giving him a big smile before reaching up to kiss his lips, knowing exactly what she was doing in front of you. She then took a sip of her water, hugging Harry before she said, “I gotta go. Have a meeting at ten. I’ll call you?” Harry nodded, walking her to the front door, giving her one last kiss before she was off and Harry shut the door. You scoffed to yourself as you watched them, rolling your eyes in a way to attempt to hide your pain. 

Harry walked back to the kitchen, leaning on the counter, matching your stance. 

“I’m sorry you had to walk in on us-”

“Harry, it’s fine. I should’ve waited before I knocked,” you tried to get rid of the thought of seeing Brooke’s mouth on Harry. That was the first time you’ve walked in on him like that--fully bare on the bed while in action. Brooke was probably his first serious girlfriend in years, but he’s had some one night stands here and there, which he called you in the morning to pick him up. It wasn’t your preferred task to do because of the pain you would always feel when you would see him walk out of the house he just slept in, but then again, he is your boss. 

It was a bit quiet between you two, and Harry thinks that it’s because you practically saw his dick on full display. Partially it was for that reason, but it was also the way Brooke would treat you almost every time she sees you. Harry thinks back to when Brooke was in the house, and he could practically feel the anger from you when she was there. 

“You know, you could be a little nicer to her,” he stated, recalling what you said to Brooke and how you said it. 

“Well, she could be nicer to me in general,” you raised your brows, waiting for what he has to say about that. 

“She is nice to you. She always talks about wanting to invite you places, but she comes back sad because you’re always so quick to turn her down.”

“Brooke has never invited me anywhere. In fact, she’s never said a word to me unless you were there,” Except for that time a couple of months ago when you two had a little chat that ended up with you in tears at the end of the night. You laughed as you were in disbelief that she would actually lie to Harry that she actually wanted to be friends with you. 

“What? No. She’s always talking about wanting to get to know you more, but you just shut her down,” Harry’s brows furrowed, and you laughed even more. “W-What’s so funny?”

“Harry, you would know if she would have talked to me because I would’ve told you, but your girlfriend has never mentioned anything other than…” you trailed off as you stopped laughing, not wanting to overstep or overshare some of things that Brooke has really said to you. 

“Other than what?” He noticed that you cut yourself off. 

“Maybe ask her if you wanna know. I gotta get going,” you said, brushing it off as if it didn’t matter to you as you avoided his suspicious eyes while you headed for the door. “Make sure to call Jeff too. Oh, uh,” you turned around to find him following you to the front door, “Did you need me to do anything for you while I’m here?” You asked, still knowing that he was your boss. 

“Oh, hmm, no. Don’t think so. Enjoy your day,” he said, and you got off of his doorstep.

“Bye, H-,” you were interrupted by the sound of his door closing. You raised your brows in confusion as Harry never really interrupted you, especially not like that. He would usually wait for you to get in your car and pull out of the driveway, but he didn’t even wait for you whatsoever. 

You tried not to make it a big deal because you figured he was frustrated and probably a bit pissed that you weren’t so nice to Brooke, but how could you cover up her lie like that especially if she was so mean to you? You grew some thick skin when you first started working for Harry, and that meant that you learned how to stand up for yourself no matter who is talking to you, not even Harry’s girlfriend. 

You groaned; on the topic of Harry’s girlfriend: how could he possibly think she’s a nice person? She put up such an act in front of him, and whenever he’s not around, that act is the complete opposite. 

When will he realize what’s right in front of him? That’s been right in front of him for years now. You were tired of meeting his new love interests and picking him up from other people’s houses when he could be at yours without worrying about going anywhere or leaving because the morning would be spent cuddling and making breakfast together. Oh, how you envied the people he got to hold onto tight and freely kiss as you wished for those lips to land on you as he called you angel. 

The thought was driving you insane because you wouldn’t dare tell him whatsoever. Afterall, he was your boss and it would be awkward if he didn’t feel the same way. But you think he would never see you in that way, so you keep your mouth shut and hold your heart close as you just go with the flow despite the pain you feel. 

20 December 2017

Harry was laying on his back breathless as Brooke collapsed right next to him, deeply sighing as she tried catching her breath. 

“How does it get better every single time?” She giggled as she was in a post orgasmic state. She shifted so she was laying into Harry’s side, cuddling him as he wrapped his arm around her. He smiled, kissing the top of her head. Brooke’s hand roamed his chest as it was her way of showing that she would like to go for another round. 

She started kissing his chest and his neck, and Harry wasn’t opposed to the idea, but the sound of his phone vibrating on his bedside table had killed the mood. 

“Don’t answer it, please. Want you again,” she sat up slightly and buried her head more into his neck as she kissed and sucked his skin. He was so close to listening to her, trying to block out the sound of his phone, but as it kept vibrating, he realized he couldn’t ignore it. 

“M’sorry,” he sat up causing Brooke to pull away as she groaned, laying on her side of the bed. Harry picked up his phone and Brooke had a little peek at who was texting him. He had changed your contact name from your name to your nickname ever since he started calling you ‘angel,’ and it’s been the same ever since. He loved it; it added a little flare and he would always smile when he sees your contact name pop up on his phone. 

“Does she always have to make an appearance at the worst times? Or in general?” She asked, but the last part was definitely muttered under her breath as Harry was too focused on reading your texts. Harry had sent out a text  a few hours after you left on Sunday, saying that he was sorry for being rude and practically slamming the door on you. You had texted back saying that it was okay, and that you were sorry for being rude to him too. There were no rude remarks towards him, but your tone had said otherwise, and you knew that you could’ve handled that conversation better. 

My Angel: Hi, H. I was wondering if you wanted to do some suit fittings before you leave to go back home or after? Let me know so I can tell Lambert and Harris. 

“Sorry. She’s just wondering if I’m available to do some suit fittings for the upcoming tour,” he said to Brooke before texting you back. 

H: Preferably after the holidays. We’ll do it right at the beginning of January. 

“Isn’t she your assistant? Why doesn’t she just schedule it already?” She asked cluelessly. 

It wasn’t like Brooke was stupid. No, she was smart. But there were some things that didn't click for her, which makes Harry and anyone have to explain things twice. She would usually have her assistant do everything for her without confirmation, and Brooke would just go with it.

“Well, I still have to approve of it, love. Can’t just book me without me knowing,” he chuckled slightly. 

My Angel: Okay, perfect. I scheduled the fitting for January 4th. That’s okay right? I know you’ll be back before New Years, so I just wanna make sure. 

He always loved how you were so cautious about everything. Sure, he wanted you to let loose sometimes and not take everything so seriously, but you two were a perfect team because you need to keep him in check sometimes, but you did let loose and have fun off the clock. 

H: Yeah, should be good. Thank you, angel. xx

My Angel: That’s what I’m here for! You don’t have anything scheduled for tomorrow before you leave. Do you wanna get some coffee before your flight? Say at 8?

He smiled down at your text. Brooke noticed, which made her furrow her eyebrows in confusion, so she started rubbing his back and his stomach as she tried getting a look at his text messages. Once she saw a bit of it, she climbed on Harry’s lap. 

“Do you want to get lunch tomorrow before you leave? I’m gonna miss you,” she pouted slightly, and Harry had only glanced up at her very briefly before looking back down at his phone as he was in the middle of responding to your question. 

H: Sure! That’d be great. The usual spot?

My Angel: Yes, the usual :) see you then, H! 

He grinned before locking his phone and placing it back on the bedside table. He looked up at Brooke who was impatiently waiting for him to give her attention as she had her arms crossed. 

“Well?” 

“Oh, sorry I’m actually getting coffee with Y/N,” he frowned slightly, somewhat feeling bad rejecting her offer. 

“You don’t wanna see me before you leave?” She asked in an annoyed tone, getting off his lap to sit beside him on the bed. 

“W-What?” He said in disbelief. “You’ve been sleeping over since Saturday. That’s why we planned for you to stay here until I leave right?” He stated obviously. They clearly talked about her sleeping over after their date on Saturday until he leaves to go back home for the holidays. So, he’s wondering if she’s missed something or she’s just acting like this to get a rise out of him. 

“You think four days is enough? You’re gonna be gone for two weeks until I have to see you again, and you would rather spend your time-” 

“Four days is a really long time! And I’m seeing you for New Years. I don’t understand where this is coming from,” Harry got off the bed and pulled on his boxers. 

“I’m just saying…she’s already your assistant. Why do you have to spend so much time with her?” Brooke asked as she got under the covers as she watched Harry pull on his sweatpants. 

“She’s also my best friend. Where is all of this coming from? Are you jealous or what?” She scoffed, rolling her eyes, and Harry furrowed his brows. 

“Please. Like I could ever be jealous of her. All I’m saying is that I just want to spend all the time I can get before you leave, or I can go with you back home…” she suggested, and Harry perked up. 

“What? You want to come with me?” She nodded eagerly as she smiled. 

“Yeah, why not? We can spend the holidays together, and it’ll be fun. What do you say?” She crawled over to the edge of the bed where Harry was standing, and she sat on her knees as she looked up. 

They’ve been dating for six months, and Harry hadn’t introduced her to his family. It wasn’t like he didn’t like her or he was embarrassed that he’s dating her, but that was a really big commitment that needed a lot of thought put into it. Meeting the family is just a big step for him, and although his family has met his previous partners, that was when they were still friends and not together. But with Brooke, it all happened so fast that his family had never met her when they were friends or hooking up. They obviously know he’s dating someone, but to bring them home? Especially on Christmas? He wasn’t ready for that. 

“Maybe some other time. I’ll talk to them to see if they want to come over here for my birthday or something,” he rejected her suggestion. Home was just something so vulnerable to him that he wouldn’t just bring anyone. 

Brooke sighed deeply, “Okay, I’ll hold you to that,” she said, impatient that she hasn’t met his family yet, but he’s met hers. “How about I come with you tomorrow morning to get coffee?” She looked at him as she pleaded with her eyes. 

He knew that you wanted to spend time with him before the holidays and he wanted to as well. But Brooke obviously wanted to see you as much as possible now that he’s denied her suggestion of coming home with him, but she had been sleeping over for the past four days, which Harry thinks is enough time. 

“I’m sorry, but no,” he said as it came out more like a question as he didn’t want to seem rude by saying no to her. Throughout the months of dating Brooke, he learned that she hates when people say no. Obviously, it’s fine when he says no to sex, but he could tell that it really frustrates her. “I haven’t seen her in a few days because I’ve been with you the whole time, so I think it’ll be good to catch up with her before I leave,” he smiled lightly, trying to make light of the room. 

“Sure. Have fun,” she said sarcastically before heading to the restroom. 

Harry sighed, grabbing his duffel bag from the closet before he started packing. He was simply just excited to see you tomorrow and his family over the holidays. 

21 December 2017

You waved over at Harry once you saw him standing at the entrance of the coffee shop. Harry walked over to you with a beaming grin as he looked incredibly handsome. He wore black circular sunglasses that sat on his nose, a blue hawaiian shirt with a gray t-shirt underneath as a brown coat was thrown over his body. He wore his famous black skinny jeans and his famous brown Yves Saint Laurent boots that you know he has a whole collection of. His hair looked amazing as he recently cut it a week ago, and it’s starting to grow out a bit as the ends of his hair started to curl. 

As he was close enough, you snapped yourself out of your trance of checking him out before you stood up, giving each other a hug and a cheek to cheek kiss. 

“How are you, angel?” He asked, taking his coat off before taking a seat, and setting his coat down on the chair next to him. 

“I’m good. I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and ordered for us. Should be out soon.” You had gotten Harry an iced black coffee, and despite the weather, he was always up for an iced beverage, especially when it came to his coffee; and you had ordered him a coffee cake--the coffee house’s specialty. 

“Of course not. Thank you. So, you’re going back home right?” He asked, placing his arms on the table. Right as he asked, the drinks and food had arrived and you waited for the barista to leave before you answered. 

“I might,” you said, taking a sip from the coffee mug. 

“What do you mean you might? Told me that you were going,” he furrowed his brows in confusion because you two had just had this conversation the other week, and you were excited to go back home. 

Home was in Oregon for you, and you moved out when you were eighteen to go to school in New York. It had always been your dream of moving to the big city, and although you loved Oregon, New York had made space for you to have a home as well. 

“I mean, I was. But you know how I’m saving to buy a house right? Well, flights are expensive, especially when it’s around this time,” you explained. 

“I can always-” 

“No, no. Before you go saying that you’re going to buy me a ticket, don’t even waste your breath because I’m not taking it,” you shook your head, and Harry chuckled. 

“C’mon, please? I know how excited you were to go back home. Don’t want you to be alone during the holidays,” he pouted as he cut into his coffee cake. 

“I told mom the situation, so they might come here for a change, but not definite yet--was just a suggestion. But honestly, I don’t think they will because it might be too late and all that, y’know how they are,” you chuckled, knowing how late your family will be if things happen last minute. “Don’t worry though. Glenne asked if I could take care of Penny, and I said yes if I’m not going home,” you said, smiling at the thought of the shih tzu that Glenne and Jeff own. 

“I mean, you can always come home with me,” he put it out there, and your eyes perked up. 

“W-What? No. I can’t do that.”

“Why not? It’s not like I would be buying you a plane ticket either. We’ll be using the jet,” he smiled lightly as if there were no meaning behind his words. 

“God, you just don’t know how rich you are--saying shit about your own fucking jet,” you teased, and he laughed loudly. 

“But really. Think about it. Mum would love to see you again and I know Gems has so much to catch you up on,” he said, taking a sip from his straw. 

You had met Anne and Gemma several times as they often visited sometimes or you would fly home with Harry and hang out with them while he’s working. They were a lovely family, if not, your second family, you would say. They were the kindest people you’ve ever met, and you’re so grateful that Harry was raised by great people surrounding him. 

“Really, H. Thank you, but I’m going to pass that up. I’ll probably just suck it up and buy a plane ticket,” you scoffed slightly at your indecisiveness. 

“Alright. Well, if you change your mind, which you have practically a day to figure it out, let me know and I’ll see what I could do with the jet going back here,” he said with a smile, wanting you to have choices rather than being stuck at home all alone during the holidays. 

“Thank you, Harry. I appreciate it.” 

The rest of the hours spent at the coffee spot was filled with conversation and laughter. Luckily, Brooke wasn’t one of the topics during your time together, and you were glad for it. Harry was also happy you didn’t mention Brooke either because he just wanted his mind to rest during his vacation, and not to say that he doesn’t like her, but it can be a bit stressful to communicate things with sometimes. 

“Oh, you have to head to the airport already,” you said, looking at your phone and realizing that he has about two hours to head to the airport. “Do you have everything packed?” You asked as you two stood up from your seats and put your coats on. Harry put on his sunglasses, hopefully a way to avoid the curious eye of the public. Luckily when you two were having coffee, no one approached him, but there were some looks made towards you two, but none of them walked up to the table. 

“Yeah, you have my shirts right?” 

“Yup. They’re in my car.” Once you two made it outside, you were parked on the curb and Harry’s car was about three cars behind you. You took Harry’s shirts out from the backseat that were folded very nicely and ironed. You had borrowed a couple of shirts from him when you would sleepover and had forgotten to give them back to him, but Harry said it was fine for you to keep until he needed them. “Alright, here you go. Don’t need anything else before you leave right?” 

“Actually, if you’re not busy doing anything, do you want to drop me off at the airport? I can call ahead of time and tell them that my driver isn’t going to take me, so we have access to the back,” he said with hopeful eyes. 

“Oh okay, sure,” you smiled softly. 

“Great,” he gave you a big smile before looking down at his phone, and you assumed he was texting Kyle, his driver, that he didn’t need to pick him up anymore. “Okay, I’ll see you at my place? I just have to get my shit.” 

“Okay, race you there! Wait, no, just kidding. Really, drive safe,” you chuckled, and Harry laughed. 

You met Harry at his house which was only about ten minutes from the coffee shop. His car was already in the driveway when you had pulled up, and you just decided to wait outside by your car for him, popping open the trunk. A few minutes later, Harry came out with his duffel bag, locking the door behind him. 

He put his stuff in the trunk before hopping into the passenger seat of your car, and you were off to the airport. 

Traffic was a bit heavy, but you made it just in time for Harry to check in and get settled without having to worry if he was late or not. You had pulled into an underground garage of the airport, and got out of the car as Harry got his stuff out from the trunk. 

“Guess I’ll see you on New Years?” You stood in front of Harry behind your car. He nodded before taking you into your arms. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Let me know if you’re going back home or if you decide to join us,” he said into your ear as he hugged you tightly around your waist. Your arms were looped around his shoulders, giving him a warm squeeze. 

“I will. Have a safe flight, and text me when you land,” you said back into his ear. 

“Always do.” 

Both of you pulled away, but his touch had still lingered on your arm; raking his hand slowly down your arm as he walked away, and you had wished you weren’t wearing a coat with many layers underneath just so you could feel his hand on your bare skin. 

“Don’t miss me too much,” you teased. Harry turned around and smirked; the one that made your stomach do flips. 

“You know I will. Gonna miss me too?” He asked in return. 

“Always do, H. Always do,” you blew a kiss at him, and he caught it, placing his hand on his heart before walking through the doors. 

You sighed as you got into your car before pulling out of the garage and driving back home. 

It may seem a little peculiar on how you two ask towards one another despite him having a girlfriend, but it’s always been like that between you two. It all started when you were at a party right beside Harry, and a few friends of his went up to you two and asked when you two were going to get together. At that time, your heart stopped because you had just figured out that you had feelings for him. But Harry responded with “until she lets me,” and it was meant to tease you, but it had left you in confusion. 

Since then, you two would tease each other and somewhat act like you were together, but it had died down a tad bit ever since he’s gotten a girlfriend. And although Harry is a natural charmer, you two were best friends, so there was a tad bit platonic flirting between you two. 

But you wished that he would see past the best friend line and assistant line. 

31 December 2017 

The cold air from the room had made goosebumps rise onto your skin, although it seemed warm in the room from the crowd that was gathering rather quickly while the music started becoming louder, and chatter and laughs filled the room. 

You were talking with Glenne and observing the people around you at the same time; everyone was wearing their best attire for the new year, and you were as well. You were wearing a red silk dress that hugged you just right as the material in the back dropped to your mid back, showing almost the entirety of your back. You wore nude four inch heels, feeling like the height of your shoe was enough so you weren’t completely struggling to walk throughout the night. And your makeup was sparkling with gold colored eyeshadow and a red lip. You looked hot, and you knew it. 

One of Jeff’s friends had booked a hotel room on the top floor, literally right next to the ball drop, so everyone can just look out the window rather than going outside in the freezing weather. 

It was nice to dress up after being cozied up throughout Christmas. You had decided to go back home after all, buying your plane ticket right when you got home from dropping Harry off at the airport. It was a bit pricey because of the fact that you were buying the ticket a day before the scheduled time the flight is supposed to take off, and considering that it was the holiday season as well. But you had gotten a Christmas bonus unexpectedly, and everything worked out. 

You enjoyed your time with your family and getting to spend a week with them before you had to leave for New York again for New Years. 

You also hadn’t expected to receive a gift from Harry on Christmas morning when your mom was passing gifts out. With a confused expression, you took the big box from your mom’s hands that was wrapped in red and white festive wrapping paper with a bow on it. Once you opened it, you had softly gasped when you saw the items inside; it was all of your favorite things, including some extra items Harry had picked out for himself. He had gotten you a much bigger planner, for the next year, that will help for work, and you smiled, knowing that he had remembered you talking about how much you wanted the planner so badly. The box also contained some of your favorite snacks, little Knick knacks that reminded him of you, and a velvet rectangle box that held a small diamond pendant attached to a thin gold chain. 

It was absolutely stunning, and Harry must’ve spent a lot on it, but he didn’t mind. He thought it was going to look so beautiful on you, and it made you feel special that you were wearing something so meaningful from someone that means so much to you. 

The gold chain sat perfectly on your collarbones, and you hadn’t taken it off ever since you received it; only when you showered, but you put it right back on after. 

The volume of the room had increased, and you turned your head towards the door and found Harry walking in with a bright smile on his face, and of course, Brooke right alongside him with her arm looped with his. 

They looked absolutely stunning together as they walked inside the building as they greeted everyone with big smiles. They radiated perfection and luxury as everyone’s eyes were on them as if they were a piece of art hung up high in the gallery--worthy enough to be looked at. But your eyes were placed on one person in the room, and you so wished you were right beside him instead of her. 

The couple had made their way through the crowd when Harry spotted Jeff in the corner. With Harry leading the two of them with their hands interlocked together, they greeted Jeff and Glenne before Harry let go of Brooke’s hand to give you a hug. 

“Hey, angel,” he smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist as he slightly picked you up off the ground. His hands met the exposed skin of your back and he felt goosebumps rise onto your skin as his cool metal rings touched your skin. 

“Hi, H. How are you?” You asked against his ear and he set you down on your feet before pulling away. 

“Good, good. Missed you.” 

You blushed, “Miss you too. Also, thank you again for your present, it was so thoughtful and lovely.” 

“I’m so happy you liked it. Thank you for yours as well. I love it a lot,” he beamed as he looked down at you. You had given Harry three presents. The first one being a black soft leather journal with his initials engraved in the middle and spine of the journal in gold. The second gift was a manicure set because he recently started to paint his nails, so you wanted him to have all the tools and colors he needed. The third gift was a photo album of his success (you also threw in a couple of you and him). You told him that he can look at it anytime he wants, but it’s just a reminder of how proud you are of him and how far he’s gone; and you would be adding more in the future. It had made him tear up a bit as he found the gifts to be so sweet and sentimental of you. 

“Hi, Brooke,” you greeted with a small smile, and you saw her face beam as she hugged you, but you knew that it was definitely a fake one to put up an act in front of her boyfriend. 

“How are you, girl?! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!” She yelled over the loud music. 

“Good, thanks. How are you?” 

“Great! Did you see what Harry got me for Christmas?” She waved her arm out to show you the diamond bracelet that sat on her wrist. It was very beautiful, you had to admit. It was very Brooke, and you were glad Harry didn’t ask you for any help with trying to find her a Christmas present. 

“I’m gonna get another drink,” you excused yourself, not really wanting to be around her much longer as she smirked and tried to flaunt her gift in your face. But you didn’t let it get to you because you truly loved the gifts Harry had gotten you, and it made it extra special because he put so much thought into it. 

You made your way to the bar, downing the remains of your drink before asking the cute bartender for another one. 

“Having fun?” He asked with a smile as he set your drink down onto a black square napkin. 

“Sure, let’s just say that,” you chuckled sarcastically before throwing your head back to take the entire cup of alcohol down your throat. 

“Thanks,” you set the glass down before walking away. 

You wanted to go back to where Glenne was standing, but you had bumped into some friends that you had met through Jeff on your way, so you had to catch up with them and tell them everything that’s going on with you after they told you their whole life story. 

The hours to the new year went by pretty quickly. You ended up hanging out with a few friends and going outside with them to have a smoke. The alcohol and weed had eased you, and you actually had a really fun time with them. The idea of Brooke clinging onto Harry had left your mind and you loosened up, smiling and dancing along with drinking. 

There were five minutes left until midnight, and everyone was gathered next to the window that overlooked Times Square. The volume in the room was loud as everyone screamed and laughed—excited for the new year. 

You were standing next to Harry, and of course Brooke on the other side of him. Glenne and Jeff were on the left of Brooke, and both of the couples had their arms around each other as the only thing you were holding was a glass of tequila as you didn’t have anyone to celebrate the new year with. 

“Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!” Everyone chanted, and you chuckled, laughing at your loneliness when there were so many people around you. Your eyes watered up, crossing your arms as you looked at the shining lights through the window.

“Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” The sounds of cheers and party horns erupted in the room as people took each other against their lips. 

You slightly glanced right next to you and saw Harry and Brooke kissing lovingly as she smiled into the kiss, along with Jeff and Glenne. 

You turned away, looking out at the window as you raised your glass. “Cheers,” you whispered to yourself before throwing your head back and consuming your tequila shot. 

Everyone was so consumed in one another that nobody noticed the tears streaming down your face as the loneliness you had felt physically and mentally took over. 

4 January 2018 

Harry was standing on the elevated box in front of a mirror. He was wearing a sparkly pink suit with gold lining on the seams, along with a gold shirt with a pussybow. Harry Lambert was behind up, straightening out the jacket. 

You had sat on the couch of the large private dressing room as you observed. Harry looked at you through the mirror, giving you no emotion. You smiled, but he didn’t smile back; only looking away and taking his attention on the suit. You furrowed your brow, confused as to why he was looking at you like that and so coldly. 

You stood up, walking over to him. “It looks great, H.” 

“Thanks,” he said quickly. 

“Think you can dance in it?” You teased as you smirked, trying to add some sort of lightness to see if his cold looks were accidental. 

“Pretty sure,” his tone was very short, and your smirk fell. 

“Wait right here. Just need to get something really quick for the pants,” Harry Lambert said before walking out of the dressing room. 

There was a moment of silence, and Harry pulled on the suit jacket so it sits nicely on him. By this point, he would’ve asked for your opinion and for some reassurance because sometimes he needs those extra words that tell him it doesn’t look too much or weird on him. But you got silence. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked warily. 

“Yeah.” 

“You sure?” You still weren’t convinced enough. 

“Yes, now can you please stop asking me? Fuck,” He rolled his eyes, voice slightly raised. 

“What is your problem?” Your brows furrowed. 

“What my problem is, is that you won’t leave me the fuck alone nor would you stop talking. I’m just trying to do some fittings, but you wouldn’t stop talking,” he huffed. He didn’t even turn around, just kept looking at himself in the mirror. 

You scoffed, grabbing your bag from off the couch. “Don’t fucking ask me to come with you if you didn’t want me here.” You headed for the exit before turning around at the last second. “And next time, look me in the eye and tell me that shit,” you said before you completely exit the building and head towards your apartment. 

You’ve never been so annoyed before, and that says a lot because you deal with a lot of people from the industry and Brooke. You didn’t know what came over him because he’s never talked to you like that nor has he raised his voice at you. With utter confusion, you sat on your couch, taking off your shoes for the day since you didn’t have any other work to do for the day, and you thought going with him to his fitting was a waste of time if he was going to act all pissy on you. 

Only moments later, you heard a knock on your door, and you immediately knew it was Harry probably coming by to tell you that he was sorry and he didn’t mean to say those words. But words are words and despite not meaning to say them, they still came out meaning that he was thinking it. But since this was Harry, the kindest human you’ve ever met, you opened the door because he’s your best friend and you deserve an apology. 

Huffing, you opened the door to find Harry standing on your doorstep with his head down and a slight frown to his face. Without saying anything, you moved to the side, opening the door wider for him to walk through, which he does. You walk over to the couch and take a seat; Harry sitting on the other side. The fact that you weren’t saying anything was killing him, but he doesn’t blame you. You crossed your arms as you waited for him to say something, and he inhaled deeply before he spoke. 

“I’m sorry for what I said back there. I shouldn’t have taken all my anger out on you because you don’t deserve that whatsoever. You were just trying to make sure I was okay, and I really appreciate that,” he resented himself for acting that way towards you. His eyes were red and he looked quite sad, and you want to know what made him originally feel this way. 

“Why were you so mad to begin with?” You asked curiously, and he sighed as you brushed away his apology. 

“Brooke and I have been fighting--ever since New Years. She claimed that I was always hanging out with you and that I left her at the party to be with you, but that’s not true right? I feel like I barely saw you during the party,” his brows furrowed in confusion. He was right; you barely even hung out with him during New Years because you were some other friends, and the only time you really spoke to him was when he arrived and after the countdown, but that was it. 

“Why is she so…” you trailed off, not wanting to sound so offensive towards his girlfriend. 

“You can say it.” 

“Possessive? Obsessive? Threatened by me? I mean I get that you’re her boyfriend, but I haven’t done anything to trigger that, have I?” You tilted your head as if you were thinking. You were never the one to steal someone’s boyfriend because that wasn’t any of your business; no matter how much you liked that person. But your attitude towards Harry was very much best friend-like. You miss him on days when you don’t see him, you give him big hugs when you reunite, you give each other friendly kisses on the cheek in a way to say ‘thanks,’ but it was never meant to steal him away from her. 

“No, you haven’t. I don’t know… I feel like she’s always had this problem with you because you’re my best friend, but also assistant--the closest person to me. I always tell her that she has nothing to worry about, but she doesn’t trust me for some reason.” 

“I’m sorry, H,” you said, placing your hand on his knee in a way to comfort him. He placed his hand right over yours in a way to say ‘thank you for understanding.’ 

“I should be the one apologizing. You didn’t do anything wrong. I really am sorry for how coldly I acted towards you,” he softly smiled, and you gave him one back. 

“It’s okay. Was it unnecessary? Yes. But it was one time,” you forgave him. 

“You’re the best. But I should get going to finish up the fittings,” he said, standing up from the couch. You stood up, walking him to the door. “I’ll see you?” You nodded, giving him a big hug. He embraced you with both arms as he squeezed tightly before he walked out the door. You figured there was no point in going with him since he only has a couple of suits to try on, so you stayed back. 

About thirty minutes later, your phone vibrated. Seeing Harry’s contact name, you smiled to yourself. 

H: Attachment: 2 images 

How do these look?

You chuckled. He had sent you mirror pictures, holding up a peace sign as he was in a sparkly blue suit. 

My Angel: You look like Cinderella lmao

I love it!

Harry smiled. He was about to text you some silly joke about being Prince Charming while you’re the princess, but he heard a voice at the door, making him stop what he was doing. 

“Hey, babe!” Harry looked up and saw Brooke walk in. His eyes widened as he turned around, and she gave him a kiss. 

“W-What are you doing here?” He asked, confused. 

“Jeff said you’d be here, so I decided to surprise you!” She said cheerfully, holding his hands. 

“O-Oh, I’m very surprised,” he chuckled nervously. He didn’t really know why he was nervous, but possibly the fact that if he hadn’t snapped at you, then you would still be in the room, which would have raised questions and yet another argument with Brooke. 

“I figured after you’re finished, we could get an early dinner and you could come back to my place?” She suggested. “Think we need to talk about some things.” 

“Yeah, that sounds good. I have about two more suits, so you can wait outside-”

“Silly! No, I’ll wait here,” she took a seat on the couch you were just sitting on thirty minutes ago. He nodded without saying anything before he proceeded on to his next suit. 

You looked down at your phone on Harry’s message thread, waiting for his reply. You saw the text bubbles pop up and you smiled, waiting for him to say some corny joke, but they went away. You waited for a moment, so they could pop back up, but they didn’t. So, you shrugged, locking your phone, and wondering if he got caught up in something, so he couldn’t reply. 

1 February 2018

It was Harry’s birthday and the crowd was rolling in. 

He decided he wanted to spend his birthday in Los Angeles since most of his friends are there anyways. Plus, it’s a small get together before the tour starts next month and then he would be all over the place. He wanted a semi small party at his house, nothing too crazy, he just wanted everyone he cares about at the party. Anne and Gemma flew in the day before to join in on the fun, and you were excited to see them because you missed them like crazy. 

“Angel! This party is great! Thank you for keeping it so nice and small,” Harry said, giving you a hug. He also handed you your favorite drink, which is a whiskey on the rocks. 

“I’m happy you like it, birthday boy,” you smiled as you watched everyone gather into his Malibu house. There were about thirty people in total that were on the guest list, only adding people Harry was close to.

“Ah, there’s mum and Gem. Let’s say hi,” he told you, and you excitedly smiled, walking towards the door. 

“Mum!” Harry called out, and Anne’s eyes lightened up. 

“Oh, my baby! Happy birthday, my love,” she kissed his cheeks as he hugged her. 

“Hi, Gems,” he greeted his sister, also giving her a hug. 

“Happy birthday baby brother. One more year and you’ll be a quarter of a century,” she joked, and Harry chuckled. 

“Ha ha, very funny. I’m so happy you guys are-” 

“Y/N? Is that you? Oh my god, come here you!” Anne interrupted Harry once she saw you. Her eyes widened and she was smiling like crazy as you walked towards her, giving her a lovely hug. “Oh, darling. It’s been a while since I saw you!” 

“Yeah, it really has been. You both still look so amazing,” you said, giving Gemma a hug. 

“Please, you’re too sweet to us. How have you been? Don’t want to quit just yet because of this one?” Anne joked, nudging Harry as he playfully rolled his eyes. 

“Heyyy,” his brows furrowed, and Anne pinched his cheek. 

“I’ve been good. And not yet. Give me about five months and we’ll get back to this conversation,” you joked back, looking at Harry to see him frowning. You looped your arm around his waist, giving him a hug, and he stopped frowning; his face turning into a small smirk. 

“Let’s definitely catch up later. I’m going to say hi to Jeff and Glenne. Be right back,” Anne said before walking through the crowd, Gemma following her. 

You and Harry were alone again as you two sipped on your drinks. Some people said hi to them, but not making conversation for too long as they wanted to get another drink or food. 

“Is Brooke here? Haven’t seen her,” you asked curiously. Harry’s face dropped, and you looked at him confusingly. 

“Oh, fuck,” he pinched the top of his nose as he looked down, shaking his head. 

“What?” 

“I totally forgot she was coming,” he said, and you fought the urge to laugh. 

“How did you forget your own girlfriend?” 

“I don’t know--I was just so focused on the tour and this party that it slipped my mind that she was coming,” he sighed. 

“Oh okay. What’s so bad about her being here?” You wondered. 

“That means she’s gonna meet mum and Gem.” Your mouth formed an ‘o’ as if realization struck you, and Harry nodded his head as if he was saying ‘yeah, that’s why.’ 

“Better prepare for that because I could already hear her laugh,” you placed your hand on his shoulder, patting it. Harry took a deep breath and downed the rest of his drink before he walked over to the entrance. You chuckled as he did so as you found it amusing that he had to do that to deal with her. 

After you heard her squeal, which meant that Harry had gone up to her already. You started walking towards the entrance door, and you saw them hugging; she then started jumping and kissing him, whispering into his ear and biting her lip as he gave her a smirk. 

As you watched from the sidelines, your heart started to ache. You wished that it was you instead of her. You wished you could whisper all things sweet and dirty into his ear as he looked at you with a smirk before biting his lip. You wanted him to give you the same smile he gave her, although you were starting to see less and less of that smile. You wanted what she had. 

But you would never get that. 

“Hey, you,” Gemma sneaked you from behind you, causing you to slightly jump. “Sorry,” she chuckled. 

“It’s okay. What’s up?” You smiled, trying to hide the pain in your eyes. 

“You’re not going to tell him, huh?” 

“Tell who what?” You raised your eyebrows, pretending to be oblivious. Gemma gave you a knowing look as she raised her eyebrows. 

“You know what. Not gonna tell him at all?” You sighed, shrugging your shoulders as you turned your head back to them. They were posing for some pictures with their arms around each other’s waists. They took a couple: smiling ones, funny ones, and even a kissing one. You turned your head back to Gemma once they started to kiss for a picture, and she softly smiled at you. 

“There’s no point. He’s with Brooke, and it’s not like he’s ever going to like me or get with me,” you sadly explained. Gemma looked at you as if you were totally wrong. “If he’s happy with Brooke, then why would I ruin that for him because of my selfish reasons?” 

“It’s not selfish for wanting to tell someone you love-”

“I don’t love him,” you immediately interrupted. 

“Y/N…c’mon,” she raised her eyebrows, knowing you’re completely wrong. 

“Okay…” you sighed in defeat, and she chuckled, continuing what she was saying. 

“You’ve known him for what, two years? That man makes sure you’re a priority. He makes sure you’re happy. If you could hear the stories he tells us and how he talks about you, you would think otherwise,” she stated before taking a sip of her drink. 

You stay quiet for a moment and think. Was there any way that Harry could have possibly liked you? There’s no way. You hadn’t noticed anything different about his behavior in the past two years you’ve known and worked for him. So, there was no way he could’ve liked you. And you know you’re only telling yourself that now, so you don’t lose your shit at his birthday party. 

“W-What does he say about me?” 

“Maybe you’ll know some time in the future if you tell him,” she challenged, and you rolled your eyes, causing Gemma to laugh. 

After Harry and Brooke managed to get away from the entrance, you and Gemma saw them walking towards you both. 

“Y/N, hi!” She greeted you with a not so surprising high pitched tone; only because Harry is right next to her. She also gave you a hug, which you only put in half the effort like always. Harry smiled at both of you, and she let go. 

“Gems, where’s mum?” He asked his sister. 

“Think she might be in the back,” she replied, looking at Brooke for a brief moment before looking back at Harry. 

“This is Brooke,” he introduced his girlfriend. 

“Hi! It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Brooke said with a big smile on her face, giving Gemma a hug. Polite as Gemma is, she hugged back. 

“You too,” Gemma simply said. 

“Should we go to the back and find mum? Brooke wants to meet her,” Harry asked, and Gemma nodded before walking towards the backyard. 

You stayed back, realizing that you weren’t needed and you didn’t have any business following them for Brooke to meet Anne. So, you walked over to the kitchen to grab a plate of cheese and crackers. Since the kitchen was right next to the large doors that led to the backyard, you looked up and saw Brooke jumping up and down slightly as she greeted Anne with a hug. You saw Anne smiling, hugging her back before they pulled away and started talking. Harry looked at them so fondly as they spoke. 

“Hey,” a voice next to you had startled you, making you slightly jump, taking your attention away from what’s happening in the backyard. Luckily, not dropping any of your food. 

“Hi,” you said back to the man you don’t know. 

“I’m Alex. One of Jeff’s friends. I don’t believe we’ve met yet,” he shook your hand, smiling. 

“I don’t think we have. I’m Y/N,” you nicely said back. 

“So, how do you know Harry?” He asked, grabbing a grape. 

“I’m his assistant, and best friend.” 

“Oh, shit! Special person I’m talking to, right here,” he smirked. Alex was cute and very attractive, but it wasn’t the same kind of smirk that you’ve been in love with for two years. 

“Hardly,” you scoffed before giving him a small smile as a way to tell him you’re somewhat joking. 

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short. By any chance, you want to go somewhere to sit and talk?” He proposed hopefully. It wasn’t a bad idea whatsoever. You needed to make new friends and possibly make some new connections. You also didn’t want to depend on Harry all the time when you wanted to talk to someone because he’s busy, and his girlfriend doesn’t like you. So, you nodded. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He smiled, leading you to a more quiet area of the house, which was the sitting area. 

Meanwhile as you were chatting with Alex, Harry watched Brooke interact with Anne with a smile, but he still felt a weird feeling in his chest, like he’s happy about it, but he’s still wary. He brushed that feeling off, looking around and wondering where you were--if you’re having a great time. He turned his head towards the kitchen, and saw you talking to Alex. Smiles were placed on both your faces, and Harry frowned. He knew Alex was charming him up because that’s what he does. Alex technically wasn’t a bad guy, and Harry’s known him for a few years. He was nice, attractive, and can charm the shit out of someone just like Harry. But the sight and thought of seeing him actually charm you did not sit well with him. It really didn’t sit well once he saw you following him out of the kitchen. 

Harry took deep breaths, trying not to let the thought of you possibly enjoying hanging out with Alex as he carried on with his birthday night. 

6 February 2018

A deep sigh was let out once you sat in your seat on the plane. 

It was cold in Los Angeles and you knew the flight back to New York was going to be a bumpy one considering the weather in both cities, so you dressed comfortably, wearing grey sweatpants, a black sweatshirt, and some white sneakers. Your headphones had been plugged into your ears ever since you were cleared at TSA. 

As you got comfortable in your seat, Harry sat next to you, sighing. You obviously didn’t hear it because your headphones were in, but you definitely heard it the second time when he did it louder. You didn’t do anything, just browse on your phone until he dramatically sighed again, even louder this time. 

“What?” You said, taking your headphones out. 

“Why are you ignoring me?” He immediately asked, and your brows furrowed. 

“Ignoring you? Why would you think that?” 

“Well, for starters, you haven’t really spoken to me since my birthday. What’s up with that?” 

“Well, I didn’t really have to, did I?” There was no reason for your somewhat sarcastic tone and it’s not like you weren’t mad at him or anything, but you were exhausted from flying back and forth, plus doing your job. It’s not like you were ungrateful, but sometimes, you just needed a break, and that included, not talking to anyone. 

“You could’ve just answered my texts saying you were okay and that you weren’t going to be on your phone,” he scoffed, and you knew he was right. You were about to say you were sorry until he muttered something else. “Too busy with Alex, I see.” 

“What?” You asked in disbelief, knowing he said what you heard, but wanted to clarify. 

“You were, right?”

“What does this have to do with Alex?” You were starting to grow frustrated. 

“I mean, I saw you two at my party, and you two left together and stuff. So, you were probably busy for the entire week,” he said casually, scrolling through his phone as if you weren’t fuming right next to him. 

“It was one night-”

“Are you saying you had sex with him?” He turned his head towards you with raised eyebrows. He had this look on his face that told you he knew everything, but he just wanted to hear you say it. So, you did. 

“Yeah. So what if I fucked him? Is there something wrong with that? Didn’t get a little birthday sex? Don’t worry, I had some for you!” You tried containing your yells, but it came out like a loud whisper. Luckily there weren’t that many people on the plane; only the people who flew first class. 

It was true. When Alex had suggested talking, you found out that he was a very nice and funny guy. The night was getting late, and you said you were going to head home (which was a hotel), so he offered to drive you since you took an Uber, and that led to you inviting him up to your room and him gladly saying yes. It all happened so quick. You had immediately kissed him once you closed the door, and that led to him taking both of your clothes off before he fucked you. It was average sex, but you had fun considering that it’s been a while since you’ve had someone fuck you. That morning he left, telling you to text him, but you hadn’t and you don’t know if you will.

Harry stayed quiet, looking back down at his phone, and you shook your head, sitting correctly, and looking out the window, knowing that this was going to be a long flight. 

Just as you knew, the ride was bumpy, raising your fear and anxiety as you held onto yourself for dear life. You turned your music up, put your hands into your sweater, and crossed your arms in a way to calm you down and feel like someone is holding onto you. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the songs until you felt a hand on your arm. You opened your hands, and saw Harry with his eyes closed, but you knew he wasn’t sleeping. He had always held your hand when you two would fly together and there was turbulence. It was something he did that made you feel safe and comfortable during the flight. 

You smiled softly, taking his hand in with your as you shifted closer to his seat despite the middle console in between you two. For the rest of the flight, you weren’t as scared. 

Once you two landed, Harry’s driver was immediately outside in the designated area, and you two were taken back to your place before there was any cause of commotion at the airport. Harry helped you with your bags, walking to your front door. 

“Hey, I’m sorry for everything on the plane,” he said as you looked for your keys in your purse. 

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too--for not replying to you and for snapping at you on the plane as well,” you said back. “Can I just ask why you were so...angry I was with Alex?” You wondered. 

“I…uh,” he stumbled over his words, trying to find the right thing to say without it coming out like he was a jealous prick. “Just...Alex is known for charming the shit out of you, so he could sleep with you, but seeing as you already slept with him…” 

“Harry, isn’t it my job to decide who I can and can’t sleep with? I get that you want to look out for me, but just let me decide that, alright?” You said softly, and he nodded. 

“Think I was jealous,” he blurted out, and he immediately closed his mouth and widened his eyes once he said that because he really didn’t mean to. 

“W-Why?” You looked at him concerningly, and Harry took a deep breath because now he had make up an answer because god knows what the truth is. 

He took a step forward, looking at you so intently. You felt like he was staring you down, but you didn’t look away as you were so lost in his eyes that it physically made it difficult to even glance the other way.

Next thing you knew, he was inches away from you, glancing down to your lips and back up to your eyes. You held your breath as you looked up at him, looking extra close at the pinkness of his lips. Your chests were pressed so close against one another that you were sure he could feel your heart pounding through his. It was so loud that it rang through your ears—so loud you couldn’t hear anything else except for the constant chanting in your head screaming ’Harry, Harry, Harry.’ It was Harry that you wanted to kiss so badly. It was Harry who’s lips you could touch in an instant if you were to just lift your feet. It was Harry. It always has been. 

But you couldn’t.

Brooke.

You immediately stepped away from him as your eyes looked down, finally away from Harry. “I’m sorry-”

“No, I’m sorry-”

“Because Brooke, and-”

“Yeah…” 

You nodded, not sure what to do next, but seeing as you were still outside of your door, you finally got your keys out, and unlocked it. 

“Well, I’ll see you.” 

“Yeah, I’ll text you,” he said as he started walking backwards away from your apartment. 

You nodded. “Yup. Bye.” He waved, turning around and walking down the hall. 

Walking into your space and bringing your luggage in, you sighed as you closed the door. It was completely silent as your mind was racing and your heart was beating. 

What the fuck just happened and what the fuck was that?

3 March 2018

The first show of Harry’s tour was kicking off, and you were excited for him. He was slightly nervous and jittery, but that was expected. 

The ‘moment’ you two had when you came back from Los Angeles after your birthday was past you two. Although, you still think about it way too often, Harry seemed like he didn’t want to talk about it, so you respected that and didn’t bring it up. Besides, what was there to talk about anyways?

The first show started in Basel, Switzerland and you were very stoked. You’ve never been to any of the countries he’s going to play in besides London and some cities in the states, so it was going to be an adventure for you. For his very first tour that included small venues, you rarely went to any of the shows, so to say you were excited was an understatement. 

You were with Harry Lambert, looking at the first show suit in the stylist room. It was a Gucci black sparkly suit with gems on the lapel. You hadn’t seen this particular suit on him yet because you weren’t at the fitting the day he tried it on, but you absolutely loved it. It gave everyone just a hint of what the rest of the suits for the tour will look like. 

“Har—oh,” Brooke had entered the room, assumingly looking for Harry, but was disappointed when she saw you. “Have you seen Harry?” 

“Uh, I haven’t. He might be out on the stage,” you said honestly, and she nodded, turning around. But before she could exit the room, you called her, “Hey, Brooke.” She turned around, rolling her eyes. “I just kind of want to mend things between us. I feel like there has always been some sort of tension ever since we met, and seeing that you’ve been around for long and might be around for even longer, we should be civil towards one another.” 

“Well, obviously there has been. You’re trying to steal my boyfriend,” she said straightforwardly, and you raised your eyebrows, looking at Lambert. He was looking at Brooke with a not so friendly look, knowing that you would never do that despite knowing that you were in love with him. “I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. You will never get Harry. He’s in love with me, not you. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do. You will never be enough for him because you’re just his assistant. That’s all you are to him. Don’t think you’re more than that, okay?” She said with a smile, and you bit your lip, not wanting to argue with her. 

There was something about her words that really got to you, and you think that’s because she’s actually dating Harry and has managed to weave her way into his heart.

“I’d hate to continuingly have to tell you this, but I think the first time was enough, right? Now you’ve made me tell you twice,” she continued as she scoffed. “Anyways, I need to go find my boyfriend,” she turned around but suddenly stumbled back as she was met with Harry. “Oh, Harry. I was just looking-”

“Don’t even speak right now,” his eyes were dark and he was angry. 

It wasn’t like you to see Harry so often considering that he sometimes deals with rude fans and pushy paps, but he was mad. 

“I-”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Trying to degrade my best friend and assistant?” 

“Har-”

“We need to talk,” he told her, leaving the room. She turned around to look at you with sad eyes, but you simply couldn’t help her, not like you would anyways. She followed him, and the room was left with a weird tension that needed to be cut with a knife.

“Well, wasn’t that interesting,” Lambert said. 

After about thirty minutes, Harry walked back into the room. He stayed complete silent and started undressing to get into his suit since there was thirty minutes left until he had to go on. You and Lambert looked at each other, not knowing if you two should say anything, but decided to keep your mouths shut and let him get ready. 

Once he was dressed, he thanked Lambert and walked out of the room; once again with the same tension being in the air. You walked out as well as you debated whether or not to talk to him, but you saw him and the band gathering together, so you figured you could just talk to him after. 

The show had finally started, and the band was going out on stage. The crowd was roaring like crazy as the anticipation of seeing Harry was finally coming to an end. Once the band was fully equipped, Harry started to climb up the stairs. Around the stage it was dark as the beginning of ‘Only Angel’ started to play. You turned on your flashlight on your phone, and called out for him.

“Harry!” He turned around, holding the railings of the stairs, and his expression was normal; no smile or anything.  “Goodluck out there!” Once you had said that, the corners of his lips turned up as his mouth turned into a soft smirk. 

“Thanks, angel,” he said before pointing up as a way to say ‘listen to the song.’ “This is for you,” he quickly told you, running up the stairs and to the stage before the big circular screen rose up. 

You watched the rest of the show from the side of the stage, not too far away from the front of the pit. He was spectacular on stage; he truly belonged there. He charmed the crowd, made them laugh, scream, cry, and dance their hearts out for an hour and a half, and you were truly amazed. The atmosphere of the venue was insane, loving every second of it. 

Once he finished with ‘Kiwi,’ he said his goodnights to Switzerland before running off the stage and meeting the band, talking about how crazy and fun the first show was. He told everyone that it’s only going to get better from here, and everyone nodded and high fived excitedly. 

After a few minutes, Harry walked to his dressing room to cool off, and you followed behind him. It may seem as clingy, but you were concerned for your best friend. A lot went down with Brooke in just a few minutes, and you wanted to know if he was okay, despite not showing any signs of sadness or anger on stage. 

You knocked on his dressing room door and opened it before you heard ‘come in.’ Harry looked up, and saw you peek your head through the door, and he gestured you to come in all the way, which you did. 

“That was an amazing show, H,” you complimented. 

“You watched?” He asked surprisingly. 

“Yeah, didn’t miss a moment. I was on the side of the stage.” 

“Oh, well. Thank you,” he said. 

There was a moment of silence as you tried to form your words on how to go about talking to him about what had happened before the show. 

“I-I just wanted to ask if you were okay?” You started. He took a seat on his couch as you stayed standing up in front of him. “I’m sorry for what happened before the-”

“Why are you saying sorry?” He asked, looking up at you as if he was genuinely asking. 

“I...I don’t know what happened with Brooke, but if something did happen then I’m sorry,” you nervously. The only reason why you were so nervous was because you hoped that he didn’t get mad at you for whatever happened with her. 

“You didn’t do anything, angel. You did nothing wrong at all,” he sighed, and you stayed quiet as there was definitely more of what he wanted to say. “But I did break up with her.” Your brows raised at that, and you fought the urge to jump and cheer. 

“Y-You did?” 

“Yeah. I kind of wanted to a few weeks ago, but I never got the chance to. But before the show, she gave me another perfectly good reason why we shouldn’t be together, so I ended it.” There wasn’t a hint of sadness on his face as he told you. 

“What were the other reasons?” You hadn’t known that he wanted to break up with her before the events that happened today. You would expect him to talk to you about it, but you weren’t hurt by it. 

“I…” he cut himself off, and you waited patiently to see if he was going to say something. After a few more seconds, you saw him debate with himself to see if he actually wanted to tell you, and you wondered if he trusted in that sense; to talk to you and tell you things that were on his mind, but you didn’t want to get into it with him. 

“Are you okay?” You asked instead, truly wanting to make sure. 

“I should be asking you that.” 

“No-”

“Angel, c’mon. Behind closed doors, I didn’t know half the shit she was saying to you. I told her to fess up everything she’s done to you, and she did. Let me tell you, I was not happy at all that you had to deal with that without me knowing. And that fact that she lied to me about asking you to hang out and pretending to be nice to you--no wonder why you didn’t want to hang out with her.” 

The first time you had hung out with her was when you had to pick up some lunch and dry clean for Harry. They had only been dating for two months, so you thought it was best to get to know her since you were Harry’s best friend. You asked if Brooke wanted to go, and she hesitantly said sure, but when Harry thought that was a great idea, she perked up to it and said yes. When you two were in line for lunch she had asked you the basics of your job before rudely interrupting you and telling you that she knew that you were in love with him. Before you could even deny, she wasn’t having it and told you that you weren’t good enough for him and that you were only hired because you were Glenne’s friend. You were quite devastated after that and you faced Harry everyday with a smile on your face, but with the lingering thought of her words in the back of your mind. 

“Yeah, she wasn’t my particular number one person to hang out with,” you said sadly, and Harry sighed, standing up. He walked closer to you, and it felt like that time when you got home from the airport, and placed his hands on your shoulders. 

“Her talking shit about you was the last straw. Can’t have anyone talk to you like that, ever,” he said while looking into your eyes as if he was trying to convince you. 

“I am really sorry that you had to go through a break up though--especially on your first night of tour. Plus, it was your first serious relationship you’ve had in a while,” you felt bad because no one should go through the pain of a breakup. 

“It’s alright. Wasn’t in love with her like she said--didn’t even say those words to her. And it was her idea of wanting to meet my family. I was still wary about it, but that was one of the subjects for most of our arguments,” he sighed. “But I’m gonna be much happier without her. Felt like I was always stressed out around her,” he chuckled, causing you to as well. “But if anyone that I know talks to you like that ever again, please don’t hide that from me. I hate knowing that you were taking all of that shit, especially for months.” You nodded your head and he gave you a smile. 

He pulled you in for a hug and you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his chest. You two stayed like that for a moment as you both felt like it’s been a while since you two has had one of these hugs. All thoughts and worries flew out of your head--not thinking about when the next time you’ll have one of these types of hugs again, and you felt safe in his arms. 

And you cherished it. 

30 March 2018

Tour was going by rather quickly as the first ten shows were already done with. 

You were able to see some beautiful sightings of the countries with Lambert and some of the band, and throughout that time, you had wished Harry was with you all, but for obvious reasons, he couldn’t be out in public so casually. 

Everything you’ve seen was so beautiful and your jaw dropped everytime you would look at a tall and high building, or the skyline of the entire city. You were quite amazed. 

Now, everyone was in Barcelona, and it was by far one of your favorite cities that you’ve visited. You loved the atmosphere and the ambiance that walking through the streets of Spain had placed a beaming grin onto your face. You were only staying for a couple of days before everyone had to pack up and head to Madrid, but you made sure to snap a mental and physical photo to remember your time in Spain. 

But rather than spending your day on the streets, roaming around the beautiful city, you were currently looking for Harry because Lambert was also looking for him, and of course, you decided to help find him. You pretty much checked every room backstage besides the bathroom, and you didn’t really think to check the restroom, but he might be in there, so you made your way towards it. 

“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in,” you said once you entered the restroom. 

The sight before you had made you sweat. A series of butterflies made its appearance in your stomach, making your hands shake. The slightest bit of air from swinging the door open had made chills rise onto your skin, but you knew that it was because of the beautiful man in front of you. 

You had walked in on Helene taking pictures of Harry, possibly so he could post them on Instagram. But he was candidly looking into the mirror as he sprayed on his Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille cologne; the one that you had picked up for him multiple times, and the one that you think smells amazing, specifically on him. He strutted around like it was made for him, and it was honestly your favorite scent. His suit was a custom Palomo black and white checkered sequined suit that just looked fucking good on him. 

“No worries, sweetheart. Just about finished. He’s all yours,” she winked at you before heading out of the bathroom. 

“What’s up, angel?” 

“Just wanted to tell you that Lambert is looking for you. Said he needed to fix up a stitch really quick before you go on stage,” you said, not meeting his eyes. 

“Is that all?” He asked, sensing your nerves, and he knew that it was possibly from walking in on him, doing a mini photoshoot because he knew he looked good. 

You gulped, “Y-Yeah.”

“You don’t sound too sure,” he challenged, walking closer to you, but not too close as there was a bit of space between you two. 

“Uh-”

“Tell me,” he shifted even closer, making you nervous. You didn’t know where the sudden outbreak of him being somewhat flirtatious as he demanded you to tell him came from, but the sound of his raspy and deep voice, and the way he was looking was making you act up as you were about to confess your feelings towards him. 

You figured it was time as you felt like he sensed that kind of vibe from you, plus Brooke mentioning that you were in love with him, which you think you’re pretty sure he heard, but you’re wondering why he hasn’t 

“I-I want to tell you something, and this may potentially ruin things between us, but-”

“There you are!” The sound of someone else’s voice in the room and the banging of the room had interrupted you, and you and Harry stepped back from one another. “Everything okay here?” Lambert asked, looking at both of you and practically feeling the tension. Once you two nodded, not looking at each other, he looked at you both suspiciously before continuing. “Anyways, come with me. I need to fix something,” Lambert walked out of the restroom as Harry followed him, not giving you another look. 

You turned around to look in the mirror, sighing to yourself as you shook your head. 

Well, guess that’s not happening right now, you thought. 

Watching Harry up on stage was something you would never get used to. You made sure to never miss a show as you watched from the side, and since he knows where you stand during the show, he always makes sure to go to that side of the stage and wave to you. But seeing him on stage was different every night. His performances and conversations with the crowd were always different and that’s what made them and him so entertaining. 

Once the show was over, he made his way off the stage and to the dressing room. He talked a bit with the band, as they always did right when the show ends, to talk about their favorite moments and which songs they needed to work on for rehearsals. After that, Harry walked to his dressing room and you would follow every single time. 

“Another great show, H. Never get tired of watching you,” you said once you entered the dressing room.

“Thanks, angel. Always feel like I’m on a high when I’m trying to cool down, like I just have so much energy to perform another hour,” he chuckled, wiping some sweat off his forehead. 

“That must be exhilarating--being up there every night for your fans,” you walked towards him to stand in front of him as he leaned on the table of the vanity. 

“Yeah, it really is,” he smiled. He pulled your arm towards him and wrapped his arms around your waist, giving you a hug. You were surprised by the sudden affection, but Harry was an affectionate type of guy, and really, you didn’t mind being close to him. Plus, he seemed extra needy since he recently just broke up with someone. “Thank you for being here.”

“Of course, Harry. Always going to be here for you,” you said against his ear as your arms were around his shoulders. 

“And I’m always going to be here for you,” he said back. 

For a moment, it was just this--hugging him as he cooled down in your arms, and you liked it...a lot. But when you pulled back, you didn’t pull back completely and it made you face to face with him, literally inches away from each other. You two looked at each other in the eye, glancing your eyes to his lips and back up to his eyes. The only thing you thought was: I really want to fucking kiss him right now. 

And it seemed like he did as well because he crashed his lips with yours, molding them together as your arms were wrapped around one another. It was everything you expected as you dreamed of his lips on yours quite often, and you absolutely loved it. He felt like a drug, like all of your pain and worries went away once his lips touched yours, and you were addicted. You wanted so much more. 

Your tongue makes its way in his mouth, meeting his, and he swirled it with his before lightly sucking on it. Your teeth found a way to bite his bottom lip and he let out a groan. He pulled back for a bit, looking at you before kissing you again. 

“God, been wanting you for so long,” he groaned, and you felt butterflies in your stomach, trying not to take his words literally as to keeping your hopes down. But little did you know that his words were serious. “Can I touch you?” He whispered in between kisses. 

You nodded, whispering out, “Please.” Harry’s stomach did flips once you gave him consent, and his hands trailed down your body. Luckily, you were wearing a simple dress with straps, so it was easier. He bunched up your dress up to your hips, and you held it up with your arm before touching you over your panties, feeling a wet spot over the fabric. 

“Practically drenched. It’s for me, right?” He muttered, wrapping his free arm around your waist so you were closer. 

“Yes. Always going to be for you,” you moaned as his hand continuously rubbed you and he smirked. Your words had completely slipped out, but it was the truth. 

“Can I take them off?” He asked, and you nodded your head before he slid your drench underwear down your legs and you kicked them off to the side somewhere in his dressing room. You molded your lips with his again and grabbed a fistful of his curly hair, causing him to kiss you even harder. 

Harry then started roaming his hands around your thighs, going to ass and squeezing the flesh, and you moan against his mouth. His hand moves up and to your stomach before trailing down to your hot core. He took his fingers and swiped up your slit, making you groan from the feeling of his hands. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he whispered before touching your clit and rubbing it. He buried his face in your neck to kiss, suck, and nibble on your skin, and that feeling made you throw your head back as his hands rubbed you and mouth kissed you. The feeling was indescribable, but it was Harry. 

You felt his fingers slip inside of you, starting off with one finger before pumping in and out of you. He then added another finger as he curled them in an inward motion and brushed his fingertips against the soft upper area of your pussy. 

“Shit, that feels so good. So, so good, H,” you groaned out. Harry took the straps of your dress off your shoulders, and kissed your chest where the gold chain he had gifted you rested. He pulled on the front of your dress to expose your tits, and his mouth immediately wrapped around your hard nipples, sucking them and pulling on them before releasing them with a pop. Your grip on Harry’s hair tightened as you felt like you were going to rip out his hair from the way you’re feeling. “Add another,” you whimpered out. 

“Another finger?” He looked at you with wide eyes, but all he saw was your eyes closed and head being thrown back; and you nodded. He added his pinky finger in with his ring and middle finger, trying his best to curl them up into you, but the snugness of your hole was challenging him. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Practically squeezing my fingers,” he said, kissing your neck. 

His words and fingers had gotten you to the edge, and you were minutes away from releasing around him. He saw you bite your lip and take deep breaths, and he knew you were close. 

“C’mon, angel baby. Let go for me, yeah? Know you’re close,” he thrusted his fingers deep into you, and that was when you hit your peak. With loud moans, you jolted around his fingers, riding your high out as Harry continuously pressed kisses to your chest and neck. He took his hand, sticking one of his fingers in your mouth, and you swirled your tongue around his finger that was covered in your orgasm, and moaned. He took the other two fingers, and placed them in his own mouth, tasting yourself on his fingers. “Taste so good,” he smirked, kissing your forehead, and you leaned your head on his shoulders to take a breather.

Once you calmed down, you turned your head to kiss his neck, sucking on his skin to calm your breathing down, and Harry hissed. His hands ran through your hair and all the way down to your back, soothing you. After a minute or two, you lifted your head up, meeting his eye before you kissed him, deeply. You two made out for a while you unbuttoned his black shirt, and you pulled away from his lips to kiss down his torso until you were on your knees. Harry was hard as rock in his pants and desperately needed some release that he could possibly come any minute with how you’re kissing him. 

His entire suit was still on and he went to take his jacket off, but you stopped him. 

“Keep it on,” you looked up at him as you told him so before proceeding to kiss down his stomach. He put his arms down, and gripped and sat on the edge of the desk. You got to the hem of his pants and looked up at him, giving him a sight to die for. “Can I take these off?” 

He looked down at you, smirking before nodding his head. “Please, take it all off,” he gave your cheek a stroke with his thumb, and you smiled looking back down to his pants to unbutton it, pulling down his trousers to his ankles, you saw his bulge, and smirked before you kissed over his underwear. Harry took a deep breath in as you palmed him before grabbing the hem of his briefs and pulling it down, his dick springing up as Harry’s shoulder relaxed from the lack of restraint. 

“Fuck, you’re so big,” you said, grabbing his dick. You knew very well that he was well endowed because of the many times you’ve seen him get hard on stage, and also from that moment when you walked in on him in Brooke’s mouth had confirmed it, but seeing it up close was unreal. You licked your hand and grabbed his cock before looking up at him. “What do you want me to do, Harry?” Your voice asked seductively. He was completely under your spell as his breaths were staggered while you stroked him. 

“Anything you want,” he breathed out. You smirked at the state he was in at the moment, and you loved every second of it. 

You put your mouth around his tip, sucking it lightly, and that caused Harry’s breath to hitch in his throat. You took more of him in your mouth as you relaxed your jaw. He was bigger than the guys you’ve fucked and you really hoped you were doing a good job for him because you wanted him to feel good. You hollowed your cheeks in and sucked hard, slicking your tongue on the underside of his cock. 

“Feels so good, angel baby,” he moaned, throwing his head back. He was already embarrassingly close, but he wanted to feel you more, so he tangled his fingers in your hair, getting a gentle but steady grip, and started guiding your head up and down his cock. You let him take control for the time being because honestly, you loved hearing the sounds of his moans start to progress. “That’s it,” he muttered under his breath once he felt the back of your throat. 

You placed your hands on his thighs, gripping his skin harshly so that your nails dug into it, and he hissed, but the pain felt so good to him. After a few more pushes to your head, you pushed on his thighs so he could release you, and when you did that he knew that he was done being in control. You grabbed his cock that was slick from your mouth, and you loved your head down so you could take his balls in your mouth. More of the beautiful sounds coming from his mouth came out more loudly as you sucked until he finally said the words. 

“Gonna cum, angel. Gonna fuckin’ cum,” he moaned. You saw his knuckles practically turn white as he gripped the desk hard. You loved your head back up to place the tip in your mouth as you fondled with his balls before he spurts his come in your mouth. “Such a fuckin’ good girl,” he said as you swallowed. 

You kissed back up his stomach and to his neck before meeting his lips again. He tasted himself on your tongue, and you were a good mix with him. You two pulled back from one another, looking at each other before you both started giggling—post orgasm haze. 

“Jeez, such an angel, but that mouth of yours is sinful.”

5 June 2018 

The rest of the Europe, Australia, and Asia leg went by, and you were back in the states for the first show of the US leg. 

Ever since the dressing room escapade, you and Harry had been acting differently towards each other. There weren’t anymore sexual acts, but there was a lot more affection. Sadly, not any kisses to the lips, but kisses to the cheek and forehead were made, and they were welcomed and given. He would always put an arm around your shoulder when you two were walking, and there was the occasional cuddle in his hotel room before or after the show. It was definitely different, but you enjoyed it. 

What you didn’t enjoy was the fact that you hadn’t told him you liked him. You were sure he had an idea, but you wanted to say it out loud to get it off your chest. You also didn’t know if he felt that way towards you whatsoever, and that thought scared you. Just because of what happened in the dressing room didn’t necessarily mean he had feelings for you. The thought of him just leading you on and messing with you feelings made your heart sink when you think about it, and you really hoped it wouldn't get to that point. 

Tonight was the Dallas show, and Harry wore an Alexander McQueen embroidered pink floral suit. As always, he looked amazing. But your favorite was the Barcelona suit, and you might be a bit biased on that given the events that happened in that particular suit. You chuckled to yourself as you followed Jeff and Glenne to your seats. 

You decided to watch the show with them in the reserved seats in the lower level of the arena, and it was a change from the side of the stage, but you could really see more from the seats. Once you got to your seats, Harry had already finished up with ‘Only Angel’ and was moving on to ‘Woman,’ but a familiar man had caught your eye. 

“Alex?” You called out through the music. 

“Y/N! It’s so great seeing you!” He said, giving you a hug. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Jeff and Harry invited me! Haven’t seen Harry perform since last year, so they reserved me a seat,” his face was close to your ear, so you could understand him better through the loudness of the crowd and the bass of the music. 

“Ah, well I’m glad you’re here! It’s been a while,” you said completely innocently, and he nodded, smiling before turning his head to watch Harry on stage. In all honesty, the thought of Alex slipped your mind because your head was constantly thinking about Harry as it always does. 

For the rest of the show, he was amazing. The crowd was wild as always, and he absolutely looked so cute in his suit. Your favorite part was when someone threw a rainbow sequined cowboy hot on stage, and he picked it up to wear it. It was a look, to be honest. 

Before the band said their goodbyes to the crowd, the four of you headed backstage, so there wasn’t any delay with everyone trying to leave at the same time. As you were walking, you were walking next to Alex as Jeff and Glenne walked in front of you two. 

“Hey, I was thinking. Maybe we should get dinner tonight? Y’know, to catch up? I know some places that are still open,” he suggested, and you liked the idea. 

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good,” you said, smiling back. 

The four of you met with the band as they laughed and talked about the show. You met Harry, giving him a hug as you told him that he did amazing out there. He hugged you back tightly, telling you thank you. 

“C’mon,” he said, taking your hand as he wanted to go to his dressing room as you always did after his shows. 

“Oh, uh, actually,” you pulled your hand back, causing him to stop walking. “I’m going out to dinner with Alex…” you said nervously, and he raised his eyebrows, looking down the hall and noticing Alex talking to Adam. 

“Oh okay, yeah. Go ahead,” he let go of your hand, completely dropping it from his as his face dropped. In that moment, you wished you didn’t say yes to Alex and went with Harry to his dressing room. This would be the first time you were going to miss out on dressing room chats as he calmed down from his energetic state from being on stage. It would be the first time you weren’t going back to the hotel with him while holding his hand in the car and up to your rooms. 

“Hey,” Alex caught up to you, not feeling the tension between you and Harry. “Ready to go?” You looked up at him briefly, placing a fake smile on your face before looking back at Harry who already had his back turned towards you, walking to his room. 

“Yeah, I am.” 

21 June 2018

The prospect of not talking to Harry as much hurt you a bit. 

You haven’t had a full conversation with him in about two weeks. The most you’ve ever spoken to him was when someone was looking for him or if he was clearing up and clarifying his schedule. But other than that, nothing. You didn’t know why it was like that, but you tried not to let it get to you as you told yourself that he was tired from the tour. He was on the last month of tour and the flying had definitely caught up to him. 

But that wasn’t the real reason. 

You have been going out with Alex ever since that night in Dallas, and you thought it was nice to have someone to talk to other than Harry and the rest of the crew and band--although they’re very nice and fun people, you saw them everyday. And you came to find out that Alex was even more fun once you’ve gotten to know him even more. 

Alex made you feel free. There was something refreshing about hanging out with him that made you want more, and he definitely took your mind off of thinking about Harry... by having his tongue down your throat and inside of you. There have been plenty of pleasurable times when Alex had made you feel good, and vice versa. It started out in the night at Fort Lauderdale, two days after Dallas, and you went out with Alex to a bar in the city. Both of you had too much to drink and he asked if you wanted to go over to his hotel, which of course you said yes. One thing led to another, and you were underneath him, moaning his name out. Ever since then, he would watch every other show and you two would have date nights that took the night away into a hotel room. 

It was nice, and he liked you and you liked him back. 

Liked him as much as Harry? Not quite. But there were definitely a little bit of feelings for him. Besides, he calls you nice things and tells you you’re pretty. 

It was Harry’s first New York show in Madison Square Garden as a solo artist, and he was pumped, but also a little nervous. You were so incredibly proud of him and what he’s done in his career, so you were happy for him. And you were happy to be back home for a few days as well because you haven’t been home since the beginning of the month. 

Alex stood next to you with an arm around your shoulder the entire time of Harry’s show. He was wearing a custom Gucci white suit with flowers printed all over and the phrase ‘Memento Mori’ underneath it. The lapel part of the suit was a velvet material and he wore a black shirt underneath. The trousers were flared from the knee down, and you absolutely loved it. 

When the show was over, you and Alex headed backstage to meet with the band. You had expected that he wanted to get dinner already, but he hadn’t mentioned anything, so you assumed that you were going to go back to your hotel and hang out with him there. 

“Lovely show, H,” you hugged him tightly, but he didn’t reciprocate the same energy into the hug like you, and you found that odd because he usually hugs you tight. 

“Thanks,” he smiled softly, shaking Alex’s hand before thanking him for coming to the show. 

You turned towards Alex and asked, “What’s the plan for tonight?” 

“Oh, I was going to tell you, but I’m hanging out with a couple of friends from college that live here. So, I can't hang out with you tonight. I’m sorry,” he slightly pouted. “I’ve got to get going now though, so I’ll see you tomorrow?” You nodded understandingly. 

“Yeah, definitely. Probably best we don’t hang out all the time because I don’t want you to get tired of me,” you joked, and he shook his head no. “But I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me,” you told him before he gave you a kiss on the lips before heading towards the exit. 

Harry had watched the whole interaction with a small frown. He tried to contain his jealousy when he saw Alex kiss you and you smiling, but it was difficult for him to not scoff loudly, so he turned around and walked towards his dressing room. You turned around to find Harry missing, and you assumed he went to his dressing room, so you headed over there. You knocked on the door before entering, and you found him on the couch with his phone in his hands. 

“Hey,” you smiled, sitting on the couch as he muttered a ‘hi.’ “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, what makes you think I’m not?” He said defensively, and you furrowed your brows. 

“I never said you weren’t. I just wanted to make sure you were. I haven’t talked to you in a while.” 

“Well, that’s not my fault,” he whispered under his breath before continuing to scroll through his phone. 

There was a bit of a silence, and unfortunately, it was an awkward one. You didn’t feel needed in the dressing room, but you sat there awkwardly as you didn’t know what to say to him. 

“You’re seeing Alex?” He suddenly asked, breaking the silence. 

“Yeah. Just hanging out with him,” you got up to grab a water bottle from the table, and you opened it, taking a sip. 

“So, you’re fucking him?” He said casually, but you choked on your water, immediately coughing. Once you calmed down, you looked at him with watered eyes. 

“Uh…” 

“You can tell me,” he said sternly. 

“I mean, yeah, we had sex a few times, but there’s no label or anything like that. We’re just hanging out,” you told him, and he nodded. 

“Do you like him?” He raised his brows, and you took a deep breath, wondering what all these questions were for. 

“I think so, but-”

“Good, he’s a good guy,” he interrupted you. You liked Alex, yeah, but comparing your feelings for Alex to Harry...unmatchable. “I’m glad you’re happy,” he said, getting up from the couch before grabbing a towel from the vanity and walking out of the dressing room. Once he left, you were alone in the dressing room. You sighed deeply as you buried your face in your hands. 

“Yeah, sure I am.”

22 June 2018

The sound of ringing had woken you up from your slumber. 

You groaned as you tried to make out where your phone might be on your bedside table with your eyes closed, but you were hitting empty spots, so you opened one eye and grabbed your phone. 

“Hello?” Your morning voice coming out through the speaker. 

“Y/N. Can you come by, like right now?” It was Harry on the phone, and you groaned. After the night prior, you thought he didn’t want to talk to you, but seeing as you’re still his assistant, of course he would call you. 

“Why must you call me at,” you pulled your phone back to look at the time, “six in the morning?” 

“Please. It’s important. I have some stuff I need you to do,” he pleaded, and you stretched your limbs out, making inhumane noises while still being on the phone, and Harry chuckled. 

“Fine. Be there in like twenty.”

“Thank you, angel! See you.”

He must be in an awfully good mood this morning, you thought. And it’s been a while since you heard your pet name, but you brushed it off and got ready. 

You unlocked the door of Harry’s house, letting yourself in. You found him sitting on the couch, reading a book until he looked up at the door and saw you. He got up and walked towards you, and opened his arms, giving you a big hug. 

“Hey, angel. Thanks for coming by,” he said into your ear, leaving you in goosebumps. 

“Course. Everything okay?” You asked once you pulled away. 

“Yeah. I miss you, y’know. Feel like we haven’t spoken in a while,” he trailed off a bit, and you squint your eyes at him. 

“I sense a ‘but,’” you said, and he chuckled. 

“I actually need you to get these for me, if that’s okay? Just need them before the show,” he handed you a list, and you looked at it. 

The items were something similar as before: a bouquet of flowers and a gift basket with various types of snacks. As you read through it, that’s when you knew and your heart sank. 

“So who is it?” Harry looked at you curiously, and you waved around the list up. “Who are you dating?” 

“Oh, this girl I met through a mutual friend. She actually was at the Dallas show and we met after at a bar. She’s in the fashion industry; her name is Rena,” he explained with a smile. “She’s coming to the show tonight, so I just wanted to get her a little something.” 

“Okay, I’m on it. I’ll see you tonight,” you headed out, figuring since you had nothing else to do, you could stretch your errands out until the show. You decided to have breakfast first and get some coffee since it was quite early still, and enjoy a day to yourself until Harry introduces you to yet another girl. 

Rena was a nice lady. She was two years older than you and Harry, and she was drop dead gorgeous. You’ve never seen anyone this stunning up close. She always had the sweetest smile, and you were contemplating if she was real or not, and why Harry is calling you ‘angel’ and not her. It was difficult to hate her, and it’s not like you wanted to, but considering that you have feelings for Harry, you wanted something to be wrong about her--maybe a Brooke 2.0, but she was so kind to you, and she loved everything that was gifted to her from Harry, even if the items were the smallest things. So, there were no complaints. 

Harry seemed happy with her, so that’s all that mattered. 

1 July 2018

It seemed like Rena was around all the time now, like she was at every show since night two in New York. You tried to busy yourself by going around the town you were in or talking to Alex, but you missed Harry. It was always like this when he was dating someone; the first few months, he would completely forget about you and always hang out with the person, but once he starts settling in, he wants to talk to you. And since he’s only been dating Rena for a month, he hasn’t been talking to you lately. 

You watched Harry on stage in St. Paul next to Rena, Alex, and Jeff as Harry was wearing a sparkly pink Gucci shirt with a pussybow on the front and some black trousers. The energy in the room was amazing. By far it was the best performance of ‘Medicine’ you’ve seen him perform. He even held out a pair of handcuffs in front of the crowd, making them go crazy, and he looked up at your section, glancing at Rena before smirking, making you cringe a tad bit as she cheered. 

At the end of the show, you greeted the band, and immediately Rena was attached to Harry, which made you impatient because you wanted to hug him like you always do. But they were wrapped in each other’s arms as they kissed, no plans of letting go of one another. 

“Hey, wanna head out?” Alex asked. You still hadn’t said hello to Harry, but you figured you could text him later, so you nodded, glancing back at the two of them and walked out with Alex. He took you to a diner that wasn’t too far from the hotel and you both ate breakfast for a midnight meal because breakfast simply hits differently when it’s at an unusual hour. Alex then walked you back to the hotel room, and you were exhausted by this point. You just wanted to get out of your shoes and sleep for a very long time. You were lucky that you weren’t sharing a room with Alex because sometimes you just needed to be alone, and this moment was that time. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he said, stopping in front of your room and your brows raised as he continued. “We’ve been dating for about a month now, and I really like you, so I wanted to ask if you wanted to be my girlfriend.”

You had expected anything else, but that question. Your heart beat practically stopped for a moment as you looked at him, wondering if he was serious, and when he didn’t say he was joking, you realized that he was actually being serious. 

“Oh, uhm…”

“It’s been fun getting to know you and travelling to these places with you, so I figured it was time to ask you.”

“Alex...you’re a really nice guy, but I’m just not sure I can be your girlfriend,” you told him honestly, and his brows furrowed. 

“Why’s that?”

“I-I like you, but I feel like my feelings for you aren’t 100% there when it comes to being your girlfriend.” He only nodded, and you were getting quite anxious when he didn’t say anything. 

He then started laughing, pacing around in the hallway and you crossed your arms. 

“That’s hilarious,” he said. 

“What-”

“No, the only reason you don’t want to be with me is because you’re in love with someone else!” His voice raised, making the hallway echo a bit. You looked at him, not knowing what to say. “Yeah. I know you’re in love with Harry. Noticed that the first time I met you; that you were staring right at someone that wasn’t yours, but desperately wanted to be.”

“I…” you were speechless. Had you really been that obvious about your feelings towards Harry that everyone around you noticed? 

“It’s a shame though, isn’t it?” He had a grin of the devil; mischievously and humiliating. You looked at him nervously, urging him to continue. “You’re in love with someone that doesn’t even want you,” he stated. “That doesn’t look your way for a second when he thinks about a relationship because you’re only his assistant. Not once would he look your way down the street if you weren’t working for him,” he looked you up and down, and your eyes started watering, and you were embarrassed that you were about to cry in front of Alex as he crushed you in every possible way. “It’s okay, don’t cry. You have me,” he opened his arms to take you in for a hug, but you physically pushed him away because now you were angry. 

“I have you? Are you fucking kidding me? After you just humiliated me?” You were breathing out through your nose as your tears made their way down your cheeks. 

“Hey, I’m just telling you the truth-”

“Why did you even ask me to be your girlfriend?” You asked, genuinely confused on his logic. 

“Well, the question that you’re supposed to be asking is why did I talk to you in the first place?” 

“Why did you?” 

“Since you want to know so bad,” he teased, and you rolled your eyes. “When I saw you, I definitely liked you, but then I saw you were giving heart eyes to Harry, so I thought I could change your mind. See if I could switch your feelings up,” he chuckled. 

“So, this was some sort of experiment? Guessing your hypothesis was wrong then, huh? Go ahead and write your conclusion as: fucked her, but dick wasn’t good enough to fall in love. So, fuck off,” you rolled your eyes and opened the door before slamming it shut in his face. Your back was leaning against the door as more that you’ve been holding onto fell from your face as you heard him still talk. 

“You’ll never be like Brooke or Rena, or whoever he dates in the future! You’re nothing to him!” He yelled through the door as his words came out muffled. 

Sliding down the door, you finally heard him leave, and you were full on sobbing. You tried not to let his words get the better of you, but the way Alex spat them out so easily, it was hard not to. 

Because what if he’s right. 

7 July 2018

Harry noticed that you had been feeling off the entire week. 

It was like you were simply existing, but not present in some moments when people would talk to you. You had this dull look on your face, and it wasn’t the same as your bright and happy look that he looked forward to everyday. He noticed it when everyone was leaving from Minnesota, and he told himself that it was because you were tired, which was true, but he didn’t know the whole reason. 

After the show in Seattle, he didn’t see you like he used to, and he wondered where you or if you even watched the show. Once he high fived and talked to everyone for a bit, he headed to his dressing room, hoping that you were in there, but you weren’t. So now, he was worried. 

H: Hey, where are you? He texted. Luckily, Rena wasn’t around anymore because she would want all his attention after the show. He simply couldn’t take someone being so clingy, so he called things off with her. It may have also had to do with the fact that he didn’t want to hide his feelings anymore, and being with other people just wasn’t working for him anymore. Not when you were in front of him. 

It’s been a long time coming now, and he felt stupid for not telling you in the first place since he’s been in love with you since last year--during the time he was with Brooke. He was honestly afraid to tell you, and when he heard Brooke say it, he just felt so much shock run through him, so he kept his mouth shut. He didn’t have an excuse as to why he got with other people while being in love with you, but it just made him feel in control of himself because he couldn’t control his feelings towards you, so he got scared. So, he decided that when everyone gets to California in two days, he’s going to confess his entire feelings for you. 

Harry walked to your hotel room, knocking on it as he waited for you to answer. He could hear shuffling and movement through the door, and he hoped to god that Alex wasn’t in there with you. 

“Who is it?” You said through the door, softly. 

“Angel, it’s Harry. Can I see you?” He asked. There was a pause, but then he heard the door handle rattled as you opened the door. 

Your face was a crying mess and your hair was up in a very messy bun. Harry’s mouth opened slightly as he concerningly asked, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” His question and concern had made you sob even more as you shook your head. “C’mere,” he pulled you in for a hug and you sobbed into his chest as he walked you over to the edge of your bed. He observed your room and saw that there were a stack of clothes folded on the other bed along with your open luggage with some of your belongings inside. “Angel, what’s going on?” You pulled your head out of his chest to look at him, knowing that he was probably wondering why you were packing; and he had a sad expression on his face. 

“I’m leaving,” you simply said. 

“Leaving? Where are you going?” His brows furrowed. 

“I’m going back home.” 

“W-What? Why?” 

“I can’t be your assistant anymore, Harry,” you cried, and Harry’s heart sank as his jaw dropped. 

“What are you talking about? A-Are you quitting?” You stood up, placing the stack of clothes in your luggage as you sorted them. 

“Y-Yeah,” you said quietly, and Harry has never been more confused in his life. 

“W-What did I do wrong? I’m sorry we haven’t been seeing each other lately, but I promise after tour-”

“No, no. It’s not you, I promise,” you shook your head. In this moment, you felt like you should tell him everything because he deserved an explanation from you. “Please, listen, okay?” He nodded. You walked to sit on the desk chair in front Harry as he sat on the edge of the bed. You proceeded to tell him everything that Alex said from him asking you to be his girlfriend to you saying no. “He said these mean things that-”

“What the fuck did he say?” He gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. 

“Just listen,” you stopped him. “He said those things because I’m in love with someone else…I’m in love with you, and you probably heard Brooke say that, but you didn’t say anything, so I just assumed that you didn’t want to believe it.” It was the words Harry has been wanting to hear and he went to open his mouth, but you immediately started talking again. “I have been ever since I started working for you, and I thought it was just a crush on my boss, but it’s way more than that. Alex told me I’m not good enough for you and that you would never love me, and I think that’s true-” 

“No! That’s not true! I love-”

“Please, don’t,” you shook your head as you sobbed. You’ve been waiting for years to hear those words, but you knew that you couldn’t hear them just yet. “Don’t say those words because I’m leaving and to prove Alex wrong.” 

“I’m not trying to prove him wrong, it’s true,” Harry’s eyes watered, and you sighed.

“What he said got me thinking…I go to all these stores and pick shit up for your love interests, sending me a list of all their favorite things, and wishing that they were for me. And in the midst of it, I realized you don’t know what my favorite flower is! I’ve been hurting for so long that I covered it up everytime and put a fake smile on my face just to see you happy.”

“Your favorite flower is-”

“I just really think that I deserve to be happy as well,” you nodded your head as a way to try and convince yourself. 

“You do deserve to be happy, angel baby. But we can be happy together? I-I… want you here. With me.” His voice was filled with hope, and it only made it harder for you. 

You closed your eyes for a moment, burying your face in your hands. “I want that so bad. I do, H. But I really need to be happy with myself and by myself first. I depended on you and the others around me a lot, and I just didn’t save that love for myself, so…I need to leave,” you sniffled, wiping your cheeks. 

“And when you come back?” 

“I don’t know when that will be or what’s going to happen, but I’m not asking you to wait for me or anything because you should live your life. But when I come back, I’ll call you, and we’ll talk,” you told him, and it seemed like you had everything planned already, but you were just as lost as he was. He dropped his head, crying into his hands. You rolled your chair closer to him, grabbing his wrists, and he lifted his head. “We’ll be alright, okay? Just need a little time to myself.” He nodded, sniffling. 

You stood up and walked over to your luggage, zipping it closed before you looked around to see if you forgot anything. Harry stood up and walked over to you, grabbed your wrists, and pulled you to him, giving you a hug. His face was buried in your neck and you felt him press kisses against your skin as he cried. 

“You’ll be back?” The pain in his voice was enough to tip you over the edge of bawling. 

“Yeah, I’ll be back,” you said in between sniffs. “I’m going to stay with my parents for a while; get a job back in Oregon,” you told him, so he’s not completely out of the loop. He pulled back, looking down at you. 

“When you come back, your job will always be here.” You smiled sadly, raising your hand to caress his cheek. 

“We’ll see, okay? But I have to go to the airport now. My flight is in two hours,” you managed to free yourself from his grasp as it tightened so you wouldn’t go, but you really had to. 

“Let me drop you off?” He offered, and you shook your head. 

“No, it’s only going to make this harder,” you said, grabbing your luggage and backpack. “Have a great rest of the tour, alright? Take care of yourself,” you placed your palm on his cheek again, looking in his sad eyes before you reached up and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you, honey.”

You walked out of the room with no glance back at him, and Harry was alone in your hotel room, and it was the last memory of you that would be ingrained in his mind forever. 

14 July 2018 

The crowd cheered loud for Harry for his final show in Los Angeles. He overwhelmingly smiled as he took a deep breath before continuing onto the next song. Everyone seemed to know what the next song on the set list was, so the room went a bit quiet as the crowd turned on their flashlights as the lights went completely dark, and the only thing was heard was the strumming of the guitar. 

Woke up alone in this hotel room… As he sang, he took in his own lyrics, feeling like they really related to him at the moment despite writing the song two years ago. Harry sang with every emotion in him as he let it all out in the dark room that was silent, and the only thing he heard was his voice and the guitar that was played by Mitch. 

We haven’t spoke since you went away…He had thought of you every night he sang this song since you left in Seattle, and it pained him that there was no contact between you ever since you left, but he figured that was what you wanted. What you needed. 

Comfortable silence is so overrated… The moments when there would be silence between you two, he hated looking back at those moments because he knew he should’ve said something, you would’ve still been here. 

Why won’t you ever say what you want to say? Why didn’t you say anything, Harry? 

Even my phone misses your call, by the way…He missed your contact name pop up on his phone that went along with his contact picture for you. You were smiling bright as you ate ice cream. It was a summer day in New York and really warm outside, so you decided you two took a break from running around and got some ice cream. You were so happy that day, and he was happy he got it on camera. 

Harry would often find himself looking at your pictures together; trying to pinpoint the exact moment you knew you were in love with him. Your smile always made his day, and it broke his heart knowing that he wouldn’t get to see that smile for a long while--at least he hoped it’s not a long time till he gets to see you again. Since, he knew when his feelings had progressed, he looked back on the pictures when he knew he fell hard. His smile had gotten bigger and the look he gave you was full of love, and he wished that you saw how he looked at you. 

He missed you so much. 

13 December 2019

It took you quite a while since you felt whole again. 

You hadn’t felt so empty as you had been when you left Seattle. The year and a half you spent back at home really helped you with that. You were able to find yourself again; spending time with your family and with yourself was something so refreshing that you cherished every moment with them. You learned a lot about yourself, and you reshaped your own worth and values. You came back stronger than ever and you’ve never been happier than you are now. 

You nervously walked over to the section you were going to be sitting in. The room was dark and the crowd was absolutely wild as they were finally seeing the one person they’ve been waiting for. You looked down, watching your step as you held your phone with the flashlight on your feet as they stepped onto the red floor of the pit, until you saw the familiar faces you’ve been looking for. 

“Y/N! There you are!” Glenne smiled, taking you in for a hug. “I’ve missed you babe,” she said in your ear as you hugged her tight. 

“I missed you too, so much.”

“Hey, Y/N. It’s good to see you again,” Jeff said, giving you a warm embrace. 

The music was playing and the crowd had gotten louder as the man of the hour finally stepped on stage, and all the spotlights were pointed on him. You watched him as he walked down from the high stage to the main stage, grabbing his guitar as said hello to everyone before strumming the first note. 

As you remembered, he was amazing on stage as he wore the same outfit as the album cover. He ignited the crowd with his charm and voice that left people in tears from being so overwhelmed by him. You felt overwhelmed as well; seeing him for the first time in a year and a half had made you quite emotional. 

You knew you wanted to go to Harry’s ‘One Night Only’ show when he first announced it. From keeping in contact with him, you figured you could keep in contact with updates of him, and what he’s up to these days. You streamed his music, watched his music videos, and stayed up late just to hear a snippet of him on the radio. You were always excited when you would get the notification on your phone of new pictures and videos of him because that was the only way you were able to see him. You found out that he had spent quite some time in Japan towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year. You really hoped he was doing okay. During the days of finding yourself, the thought of seeing him again had scared you, and you weren’t ready for that, so you waited until this day to see him. 

So, at the beginning of the week, you had texted Glenne that you wanted to go to the show, and she immediately said yes, putting your name on the list. You told her not to tell Harry just yet because you wanted to surprise him, and she was on board with the idea as was Jeff. 

They were both really supportive of you during your times sulking and growing, and Glenne had even visited you in Oregon to make sure you were okay and simply just missing you. You were really thankful for both of them because you knew that it was hard to see their two friends in pain, but you were glad that they supported your decision. Glenne had always known that you were in love with Harry, and you told her ever since you figured your feelings out. But you had made her swear on her life and Jeff’s that she wouldn’t say a word about it to anyone, not even Jeff (although Jeff saw it coming). 

“He’s going to be so happy to see you and know that you’re here,” Glenne said to you as the beginning of ‘Fine Line’ was starting. You thought the album was an  absolute masterpiece that was composed of beautiful lyrics, melodies, and emotion. You made sure to dance and cheer for the songs you didn’t know the words to extra loud, and you sang to the ones you knew without hesitation. You stayed up all night, listening to the album multiple times on repeat and trying to get the words down, and you were sure everyone did the same. 

As you listened to Harry sing the outro and the words ‘We’ll be alright’ coming out so effortlessly, you were reminded of your words to him as you left the hotel room. The song was quite hard hitting and you felt every inch of your skin cover in goosebumps. 

You practically lost your shit when Stevie Nicks came out and performed ‘Landslide’ with him, and when he sang ‘Wonderful Christmas Time’ while fake snow was falling from the ceiling. Before you knew it, Harry was in the middle of singing ‘Kiwi,’ and Glenne tapped your arm, telling you to follow her and you knew that you three were going backstage already. You felt butterflies in your stomach, feeling really nervous to see him again up close after a year and a half; and you only hoped that he was happy to see you as well. 

You heard the muffled final beat of the song as the crowd loudly cheered for him, telling him to do another song, but you knew that it was the end of the show. Jeff had walked way ahead of you both to grab Harry really quick, so he could point his attention towards you. Your hands were shaking as your arm was looped with Glenne’s as she provided physical support for you, holding you up, and continuously telling you that he’s going to be so ecstatic. 

Cheers erupted from the crew as everyone hugged each other, proud and happy of the success of Harry’s first show of his sophomore album. Once you were close enough, you could make out everyone’s faces. The band was there along with Harry’s friends and producers that had written the album with him. Finally, there was Harry; his back was facing you as he hugged Jeff, and Jeff gave you an amusing smile as he hugged his best friend. You heard him whisper into Harry’s ear, and Harry pulled back, saying, “What?” 

Jeff nodded, and Harry quickly turned around. His face was pulled into a shocked expression as his eyes widened and his body was practically frozen as he took in your presence. You smiled softly, waiting for him to say or do something because you didn’t know how he felt with you being here on his special night. 

Finally, he took two long strides towards you, pulling you in for a hug. Your body collided with his, and smiled into his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his tone body. 

“How are you?” You whispered in his ear as you practically felt him shaking in your arms. 

“I’m doing good. Better now,” he said softly. “What the fuck are you doing here, angel?” He chuckled, finally realizing that you were here in his arms. The sound of your pet name had widened your smile as your eyes watered; feeling so happy that you finally got to hear that name come from out of his mouth again. 

“Came to see you,” you said in his neck. He pulled back, looking at you in the eye before smiling like crazy as he took you in his arms again. He felt like he was on the moon; the overwhelming feeling of the feedback from the album, the show, and now finally getting to see you for the first time in a very long time—he truly couldn’t believe it, so he held you tight, not wanting to let you go as he felt like if he did, then you would vanish again. You felt his hesitancy or not wanting to let you go, so you whispered in his ear, “Hey, I’m here. Not leaving.” 

He eventually pulled back, and noticed everyone that gathered around you two, and smiles were on their faces with their hands over their hearts. They all had really witnessed Harry struggle the past year and a half; from song writing, recording, rehearsing, and just being present. They really saw Harry at his lowest, and now they're happy to finally see him happy now that you’re here. 

“I-I have to go meet some people and take some pictures, but do you think, uhm…” he trailed off, realizing that he might be acting too eager. 

“H, I’m right here. Do what you have to do, and I’ll wait for you, alright?” You told him with a smile, and he nodded. He didn’t want to walk away from you, but you knew that some people were waiting for him, so he had to leave. He gave you one last hug, which brightened your smile, and he walked down the hall of The Forum. “Stay in my dressing room!” He called out, and you laughed, remembering the talks and moments in his dressing room after his shows. 

Heading over to his dressing room, you stopped to say hi to everyone as they excitedly greeted you. You couldn’t believe that you were here again. The journey to get here was a struggle, but reuniting with everyone had made it so worth it—seeing Harry again was worth it, and you knew that you had to do it. 

After an hour of catching up with the crew and band, and sitting on his couch, mindlessly flipping through the pages of the Fine Line Booklet that contained pictures of Harry in the process of recording his album, he finally showed up. Sighing as he walked in from the rush of the entire day, once he saw your face again, he knew he wasn’t in the state of dreaming because you were really here. 

He took a seat on the couch next to you, taking your hand in his. He hesitantly raised your hand to his mouth and placed a kiss on the back of it; you smiled at the sweet gesture, caressing your thumb against his hand. 

“How are you, angel?” He asked, softly smiling as he was trying to contain his excitement that you’re finally here. 

“I’m good, H. I’m happy,” you said, and hearing that made Harry’s eyes glossy because that’s all he wanted from you. He wanted you to be happy; with yourself, with others, and with life. 

“I’m so glad to hear you say that,” he smiled, dimples poking out. You reached over to caress his cheek, rubbing his dimple out, and he turned his head to kiss the inside of your hand. 

“I want to hear everything from you--catch me up on everything?” He nodded eagerly, wanting that from you too. 

“Security said that the parking lot is empty now because they had to practically kick everyone out, so there’s no one out there, but what do you say we go out there and walk around the parking lot?” He suggested. It was almost midnight, and despite being exhausted and overwhelmed by this whole day, he’d rather stay up and talk for hours with you. 

“Are you sure? You’re not tired?” You asked, and he shook your head. 

“No, not at all. It’s been a year and a half since I last saw you. I want to spend time with you.”

“Okay, I’d like that,” you smiled, and he nodded, telling you that he was going to change really quick. He walked over to his duffel bag, grabbing some clothes before walking over to the changing room that was in his dressing room. Before he walked in, he turned around, facing you. 

“Hey.” You perked up, smiling. He missed your smile so damn much. “Your favorite flower is a baby pink peony,” he said before walking into the room. 

You were immediately taken back to the night when you had left when you had told him that he didn’t know what your favorite flower was, but all this time, he knew. He had always known. 

Walking towards the exit of the venue, the night was dark as the moon shined from up above you. With cold air rushing through you, you shivered, and Harry smiled next to you as you two walked through the emptiness of the parking lot. Before you two even spoke a word on how to go about having the ‘catch up’ conversation, you sensed Harry’s nervousness as he felt a bit hesitant with you because of the distance and time spent apart. But you wanted to remind him that you were the same person. You had the same feelings for him, and you really hoped he had some feelings for you too. 

So, you brushed your left hand against his right hand, cheeks flushed, and you interlock your fingers together, holding his warm ringed hand with your small one. 

This was it--this moment right here. This was where you were supposed to be. 

please come into my inbox and tell me how you’re feeling and what you thought of this! she was an emotional one :’)

[fortuositywritings]

I Said No (Wanda x R): Pt 8

Summary: Did someone order a fluff stuffed pizza with extra cheese? 

Warnings: Language, also a bit of violence

The following day starts as most have the past week, only this time you are not dreading waking up early in the morning for a hike aka jogging at an incline with Nat. In fact, you wake up kind of pumped for it and decide to forego the usual coffee. Nat looks at you like you are crazy. You shrug. “Not all of us need caffeine to live, Natasha.”

But you do, you find out mid-hike.

“Fuck me!” you groan, dragging behind Nat.

“No, thanks. You’ve got Wanda for that,” Nat quips. When you don’t reply, she continues, “What? No comment?”

“I’m saving my energy. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. If I die here from exhaustion, hit me with a rock or something. Make it look like a cooler death,” you say. She laughs. “What happened to not needing coffee?”

“Caffeineless-Me is a delusional me. Don’t ever listen to her,” you huff.

Luckily, you smell coffee when you get back to the house. You hear voices in the kitchen and make a dramatic entrance. Clint, Pietro, and Sam’s conversation halts at your interruption. Finding Clint responsible for the coffee, you butter him up in exchange for the coffee cup he hands you. “You know, I told Laura, you were it. I said ‘Laura, you’ll never find another like this one. A king among simple men.’ True story.�� Used to your antics, Clint ignores you but Pietro and Sam laugh.

You spend the afternoon at the arcade with Wanda, Pietro, and Peter. You in fact do beat Pietro at skeeball, rubbing your win in his face. He beats you at everything else. It’s hard to be a sore loser though when you are too busy having fun and entertaining Wanda. 

Wanda pulls you all into a photo booth. The group does their best to fit in what is meant to be a two person booth. Wanda ends up on your lap, you sitting next to Pietro, and Peter sticking his head into the frame. You shoo the boys out after the group photos, wanting a strip of you and Wanda. Despite the free space, Wanda stays seated on your lap, not that you mind it. The first two photos are silly. You kiss her cheek for the third and simply smile for the last one in which Wanda sports a blush looking at you. 

You ask Wanda if she is ready to go to the bookstore yet, not forgetting what you promised. She refrains from saying yes when a game calls her attention. She says you can leave after one more game. Wanda challenges you to Guitar Hero and the results are embarrassing. You stare at her score in shock. You refuse to believe it. “What? There is no way! How?” She giggles when you turn your face to her with your hands on your cheeks. “No wonder you’re so good with your hands.”

She blushes at your comment. “Do you play guitar?” You ask, but before she can confirm or deny, you stop her, “Wait, no. I don’t want to know. ‘Cause if you do, that’s too attractive and we can’t have that.”

“Why not?” She tilts her head to the side.

“Because it will ruin our dynamic, You see, we both bring certain things to the table. You bring in the kind hearted, easy on the eyes superhero thing to the table. Me, I bring in the funny, cute, one year away from graduating college kid thing. My two years playing the trumpet as a child could never match even the thought of you holding a guitar,” you explain.

Wanda looks at you curiously. She smiles cheekily, before saying, “I’ll have to play for you someday then.” She laughs when you groan saying she ruined it all and tugs you by the hand to where the prizes are. You both trade your tickets in for small inflatable sledge hammers that you immediately use against each other standing off to the side of the prizes booth. You feel the employee who helped you out stare at you both and feel like you are getting in trouble, so you stop hitting Wanda.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to stare,” the employee says. “The two of you just make a really cute couple.”

“Oh,” you say surprised, but you don’t correct him, unbeknownst to you, making Wanda suppress a smile. “Thanks.”

“Come on, you promised me a bookstore,” Wanda says, taking your hand and pulling you toward the exit. You spend an hour in the cute bookstore, which Wanda could have easily made two but she took pity on you, seeing you get a little restless walking around the store in circles. She leaves the store with two new books in hand that you had insisted on buying and a smile on her face as you hold the door open for her.

“I would say ‘I got you next time’ but I wouldn’t want to force you to actually read words on paper,” she jokes.

You roll your eyes at her playful remark. “No, we wouldn’t want that.” 

“So, how about we get some ice cream instead?” she offers, hoping to spend a little more time with you out in the town. Your ears perk up at those words. “Now we’re talking, Maximoff!”

“That reminds me. You still haven’t told me your last name.”

“And I’m not talking.” You mime zipping your lips and throwing away the key. Wanda jokes, “Well that’s a first. That was the only key, right?”

Wanda laughs when you roll your eyes and eagerly take the bag with her books out of her hand to carry it instead, replacing it with your own as you practically drag her to the ice cream shop. She tries not to react when halfway to the shop you interlace your fingers and smile at her, but her heart doesn’t get the message.

Tanya smiles when she sees you both back again at the shop. She raises an eyebrow, looking at your hands in question. You catch her look and shake your head in denial at Tanya while Wanda is busy looking at the flavors of ice cream. Tanya purses her lips disapprovingly and you nearly groan. Wanda turns to you and asks if you know what you want, unaware of the silent conversation that occurred before her. 

You tell her to order hers first. Although you see her eyeing the strawberry flavor for a good amount of time, she orders the cotton candy flavor. You look at her surprised. “What? Maybe I want to try something different.”

“Well, in that case, Tanya, I will have two scoops of the strawberry on a cone, please and thank you,” you order. Wanda gives you the same look you’d given her, so you decide to throw her words back at her. “What? Maybe I want to try something different.”

Wanda pays for your ice creams, which of course Tanya would not let slide without commentary. “She’s making you pay for the ice cream? It’s no wonder Y/N stays single. You would think she’d know how to treat a lady.” Tanya shakes her head at you, making you scoff. Wanda laughs but defends you. “She does. This is a small thank you for how well she’s actually done that.”

“Yeah, Tanya! You hear that? I treat people well,” you reiterate as you take your prepared cone from Tanya. “I even did as you said and took her to the fair.” As if it is so unbelievable, Tanya looks at Wanda for confirmation and looks nearly impressed when Wanda nods. You add to pick on Wanda, “All for her to dance with someone else for most of the night.”

This time she scoffs and you try to suppress your smile at how easy you could rile her up. “It was one song,” she defends herself. When she sees that you’re just pulling her leg, she huffs, “You’re annoying,” and goes to sit at the small table by the entrance. Tanya speaks up when you just stand there looking after Wanda with a smile. “Don’t leave her to eat alone now.”

Tanya’s voice startles you out of your trance and you make your way to sit across from Wanda. “It was two songs,” you say, continuing the banter. Wanda retorts before trying her ice cream, “Two. One. What’s the difference?”

“He got one more song with you than I did,” you shrug. You see her make a face of disappointment at the flavor she chose. She replies, “It could have been none with him if someone just asked earlier.”

“Noted. I will let someone know and pass on the message for you,” you tease, earning you a light kick under the table from Wanda while you start with your ice cream. You can only watch her struggle to eat her ice cream and look at yours longingly for so long, before you eventually just snatch hers from her hand. 

“Hey! I was eating that,” she complains. 

“Oh, is that what you were doing? That was a very sad attempt at best. Here, try again,” you say and hand her the rest of your strawberry ice cream. She tries to hand yours back. “I’m not going to take your cone. It’s not the one I ordered.”

You shove the rest of the ice cream you stole into your mouth and eat it as quickly as you can. Wanda stares at you in shock. You try not to make a face at the brain freeze you get. “Well, I just finished yours so now you have no choice.”

Wanda giggles. “You have a brain freeze, don’t you?”

Nothing gets past this woman. You try to deny it anyway. “Nope. Brain warm, actually.”

You don’t fail to make her laugh. She thanks you and you smile as she finishes the strawberry ice cream. You decide to head back to the arcade before the guys get worried. You are surprised they have yet to call or text to ask where you and Wanda were. Wanda says she wouldn’t be surprised if they did not even notice your absence. 

Someone spots you making your way out of the ice cream shop with Wanda and decides to approach you. “Well, well, well. Look who it is,” a loud voice taunts you, making you and Wanda turn your heads to see a guy your age and not so much taller than Wanda approach you. You know him as Abby’s (grocery store lady’s daughter) ex-boyfriend. 

You don’t try to delude yourself into thinking this exchange could be an exchange of simple pleasantries especially given your history and the condescending sneer he throws your way. You huff, mumbling under your breath, “Never move to a small town, Wanda.”

She gives you a questioning look but you ignore it as the ex-boyfriend stands before you both. You give him an obviously fake smile, acknowledging his presence. “Jack,” you say tiredly, not wanting to give anyone the impression you want to actually interact with him. He, on the other hand, has a bone to pick with you and does not plan to let you off easily. 

“Y/N, I see some things never change.” He laughs bitterly, giving Wanda the once over. Not appreciating this, you try to avert his attention back to you and speak in a more fed up tone. “What do you want?”

“What? I can’t say hi to your little girlfriend? You were always so eager to say hello to mine. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t show the same courtesy,” he says, scorn clear in his voice. You really do not have it in you to put up with him and the mess you made that you never dealt with, but you’ve had enough of this biting you in the ass at every corner in this town.

“Look, what I did wasn’t cool. I know, okay? I’m genuinely sorry for not taking your feelings into consideration or talking to you about it before and ignoring the whole thing after it happened. Alright? Can we just move on from this?” you ask, sincerely. Jack looks at you in shock as you await his answer, wanting nothing but to finally move past this mess. Wanda on her end is impressed by your ability to recognize a mistake and apologize. You can feel her looking at you and Jack notices it too, the act riling him up more than anything.

When Jack saw you, he finally found his chance to let everything he was holding back out and seeing you with someone else only assured him he was right about you being this asshole who just goes around stealing people’s girlfriends. He was not expecting an apology. Although it seems to be sincere, it still does not satisfy him and seeing the girl you’re with looking at you the way she is because of it just ticks him off.

So he doesn’t accept your apology. Instead, he turns to Wanda. “It’s a little late for apologies, L/N. Hey, sweetheart. Some advice, best go apologize to your boyfriend before it’s too late, ‘cause whatever you think this is,” he says waving between you and Wanda, “it’s not gonna last.”

Trying to form some semblance of a safety blanket against his fiery gaze, you pull Wanda to stand behind you. Now you’re feeling very irritated. You’re not going to hit him or anything of that nature. God knows you would only hurt yourself. You’ve always strayed away from getting into fights. Besides, why bruise your fists when you could bruise his ego?

“Hey, assface. What do you know about lasting? Last I heard you weren’t doing too well with that. Some advice for you,” you taunt him, using the same tone he did with Wanda, “when you are finally doing something right, which you’ll know since Abby’s not really a quiet one, give her neck a little squeeze and-” You snap smugly. “She can thank me later.”

The whole time you were talking, you could practically see steam coming out of his ears. It’s logical to stay clear when you see the signs of a volcano about to erupt, but when you are standing two feet away from the danger zone, it’s a little hard to avoid getting hurt. You see it coming but you are not quick enough to dodge it. Suddenly, your ass is on the sidewalk, vision impaired as your hand covers the left side of your face that is throbbing in pain. Wanda would say her vision is also impaired as all she sees is red. Not caring if anyone sees, she uses her magic to hold him by the throat, red wisps tightening around his neck. She sees the panic in his eyes but doesn’t ease up. 

“Don’t you ever lay a hand on her again. In fact, from now on you don’t talk to her unless she’s speaking to you. Don’t look at her unless she calls your name,” Wanda threatens him, her voice deadly calm, you would almost define it as soothing. Jack wouldn’t. “You know who I am, don’t you?” Jack nods to the best of his abilities, starting to feel light headed. “If you even think about touching her again, I’ll know.” 

She releases her magical hold. He coughs, bringing back oxygen into his lungs. Jack sees the red fade from the witch’s eyes but her stare still holds a fire. Not wanting to enrage the witch any further, he sprints away as soon as she says, “Leave.”

As soon as he is out of sight, Wanda turns to check on you. She finds you already on your feet but your hand is still over your face. She pries your hand away and sees the damage, a bruise already forming over your cheek. You flinch when she prods it gently. Wanda gives you a questioning look when you unexpectedly giggle.

“Sorry, it’s just. Nat always said my big mouth would get me into trouble like this one day. I was really hoping she would be wrong about this one,” you explain, looking away from her but still giggling. Wanda doesn’t find it funny. She gently takes your chin to face her. “It’s not your fault. He had no right to lay a finger on you.”

Wanda’s intense stare doesn’t waver. It’s almost demanding you to understand that what happened can’t be brushed off as a joke and it works. Your mind replays the events and you feel a lump in your throat. Wanda brushes a tear away from your cheek. You hadn’t been aware of the tears forming in your eyes. The sound of a car passing by snaps you out of your emotional state. You haven’t had a good cry in a long while, but like hell will you allow yourself to break down on the sidewalk in front of the ice cream shop where you used to work.

You chase away the tears and clear your throat. Today was a great day for the most part; you weren’t going to let this bump in your trail keep you from continuing on to have a great day and ending it on a good note. Your eyes are a vault of tears, and though you know one day that door is going to open and possibly drown you, today would not be that day. 

You pull away from Wanda’s touch but before she can say anything about it you hold that hand in yours. “Thank you. I’m lucky you were here.” You avoid cringing at how your voice breaks halfway through, evidence of the lump in your throat you cleared away. You manage a small smile instead. 

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that. I hope I didn’t frighten you,” Wanda says, suddenly embarrassed at her quick tempered reaction. This brings out a genuine giggle out of you. “Are you kidding me? Frighten me? The only scary thing about your reaction was how attractive I found it!” 

You can tell Wanda doesn’t believe you, searching your face for any sign that you may be lying and saying this just to humor her. “No, seriously. His pants were wet out of fear. My pants were wet in an entirely different way,” you press. She laughs with glowing red cheeks. As the color fades, you and she decide to head back to the arcade after you refused her offer of getting you something cold at the store to rest against your cheek.

Pietro and Peter didn’t notice you had left the arcade, but they do notice your bruised cheek quickly. After dismissing their concerns, you ask if they were ready to head back. They say they still have to trade their tickets in, so you let them go do that. It isn’t too long until you are back to the car.

It turns out you are the only one in the car with a license, but you’re not feeling up to driving back to the house. Peter looks nervous at the prospect of driving, barely having taken two lessons at school, so he isn’t going to drive. Wanda wants to sit by you, so she lets Peter sit up front. That leaves Pietro to drive.

Big mistake.

You make it home in one piece with your bruised cheek, a massive headache, and a date with the church on Sunday after promising God you would go if you make it back home alive. Pietro brakes hard when pulling up right behind Nat’s car. Luckily, he didn't hit her car. You didn’t need to survive Pietro’s wild car ride, just so Nat could kill you after. 

The twins are arguing. “God, Wanda. No one likes a backseat driver,” Pietro says as he puts the car in park and takes the key out of the ignition. Wanda yells, “No, but I’m sure we would all like to live to see past our 20’s and Peter past high school!”

At the mention of his name, Peter finally opens his eyes and loosens his tight grip on his seatbelt. “Oh, we’re here? I, um, have to go to the bathroom.” He excuses himself before basically ripping the door open and running into the house on shaky legs. Pietro also storms out of the car but more so in irritation from his sister.

“Are you okay?” Wanda asks you, taking off her seatbelt. You unbuckle yours and laugh to ease her concerns. “Yeah, just give me a moment. I don’t think my life is done flashing before my eyes yet.” 

Wanda giggles as you act out seeing your life replaying in your mind. “Okay, almost done. Exercise with Nat, board games, seeing you naked.” You laugh when she punches your arm. “Arcade, your brother almost killing us all, and finished. Wow, I lived a pretty good life.”

She shakes her head at your silliness, before practically pulling you out of the car. Most of everyone is in the living room when you come inside. You guess your bruise must be very noticeable, your cousin gasping upon seeing your face. She rushes to your side with the help of Clint and sees the damage.

“Y/N, what happened?” she asks, a motherly type of concern slipping into her tone.

“It’s not as bad as it looks, I promise.” You thank Nat when she sits you down and helps place an ice pack on your injury.

“It looks pretty bad, kid,” Clint says, not helping ease the concern on his wife’s or his best friend’s face. 

“You should have seen the other guy,” you say, acting like you actually did anything other than stare mouth agape as Wanda took care of Jack. The disbelief on everyone’s face when you said that, including Sam’s, was insulting. You scoff, “Okay, ouch. I could have taken care of business if Wanda wasn’t there, thank you very much.”

“So, Wanda was there?” Nat pries and you tell them everything. Laura thanks Wanda for doing what she did and Wanda, being of humble heart, claims it goes unsaid that she would do that for any of them and there was no need to thank her. Nat doesn’t say ‘I told you so’ but she tells you it’s time to learn self-defense as she wants you to quote unquote “be prepared next time god forbid something like this happens again”, which to you was another way of saying ‘I told you so’, 

Nat says she will personally see to giving you your first lesson tomorrow. Clint laughs at the thought and suddenly everyone is amped to watch Nat teach you some moves in the morning, inviting themselves to be your audience as if embarrassing yourself in front of Natasha was not going to be enough. Everyone leaves you alone to get ready to sleep after that. 

After changing into your pjs, you pull out your phone and scroll through your camera roll sitting on the couch. You have at least fifty or so new photos of just today. You smile as you watch the video you recorded of Wanda and Pietro playing Dance Dance Revolution. Watching them interact today, you are reminded of you and Laura and Nat and if their bond is anything like yours, you are happy that Wanda has someone like that in her life. 

Wanda comes downstairs to check up on you before turning in for the night. She hears you before she sees you, your giggles cutting through the air. She follows the sound, curious as to what has you in such spirits. When she is close enough, Wanda sees you are laughing at something playing on your phone. 

“What are you watching?” Wanda asks from behind you.

“Just some of the stuff I recorded today. Come look.” You invite her over.

Leaning over your shoulder, she finds out it is a video of her and her brother playing the dancing game at the arcade. She fails to see what you find so funny but as the video plays on, you kept zooming in and out of Wanda’s face as she pouts every time she missteps but the look of determination never wavering. 

You think it’s a cute video but you aren’t surprised when Wanda lunges for your phone in an attempt to take it and delete the video. You lean forward away from Wanda on time so that she cannot reach it. She groans, “Delete it.”

“Mmm, no.” You shake your head and laugh when Wanda wastes her energy to maneuver around the couch to take the phone away only for you to hide it behind your back away from Wanda’s hands. She looks down at you unimpressed. “Y/N, do you really think that’s going to work? I can take it with a wave of my hand.”

“Tsk tsk tsk. Always relying on your magic. Afraid you can’t get it without twirling your fingers?” you shoot back with a smirk. Your cockiness is short lived as you see Wanda sport the same look of determination she wore in the video you took. She surprises you by settling onto your lap, basically straddling you. She holds you by the shoulders. You nearly whimper when she leans into your ear and whispers, “I’ll show you twirling my fingers.”

She leans away from your ear and looks you right in the eye as one hand begins to wander down your chest. You hold your breath when she gets to your belly button. You should have known better, misreading the smirk on her face. It all takes a turn when she brings her other hand down and begins to tickle you. 

You try fighting her off with one hand, keeping the other with your phone behind your back, but she’s relentless. You flail around and you end up lying on the couch, Wanda still on top of you. You can’t help the tear that slips and you take that as your cue to beg her to stop. “Mercy! Mercy! Stop!”

Wanda eases up on the tickling, giving you time to catch your breath, but she makes no move to get off of you nor to actually take your phone away. She rests her hands on your stomach and watches you, amused when you wipe away your tear. 

“That wasn’t nice,” you breathe out. She chuckles. You stare at her as if it is your turn to gaze at her in wonder. She takes you by surprise again when she asks, “Can I kiss you?”

She’s kissed you before. Hell, you’ve done a lot more than that, so you’re wondering why she’s even asking at this point. At the confusion on your face, she explains, “I mean, can I kiss you just to kiss you?”

Finally understanding what she is asking, you sit up and give her your permission. “You can kiss me whenever you want. It doesn’t have to lead to anything.” She hesitates to move so as a show of faith you peck her lips, startling her. “See?”

Wanda smiles and leans forward to kiss you. It’s a slow but still rather chaste kiss. It takes your breath away and when she pulls back she giggles as your lips unconsciously chase after hers. She gives you what your lips were seeking for, pulling you further into her by your neck and tangling her hands in your hair. You are kissing slowly but then you’re not when you slip your hands under her shirt to grip her waist. You pull away and kiss down her neck. 

Wanda starts to feel hot. She doesn’t know when she started to grind onto you, but her hips are actively working to find some friction to relieve the feeling that’s bubbled up. You’re both wearing too many clothes, she thinks. She pushes you away and goes to take off her shirt, but when she had pushed you, you’d come to your senses. You stop her and pull her shirt back down. 

“As much as I’d like to, Clint and Nat seeing me in boxers haunts me to this day. I don’t want to imagine what they’d do if someone saw us less than decent on the couch,” you explain. 

“Oh,” she says, almost a little dejectedly, but Wanda understands. She honestly forgot they were in the living room, open for anyone to accidentally walk in on them. You crack a joke at her sounding so bummed. “Sorry if I gave the idea that I’d be comfortable putting it all out there for show. I don’t know what kind of things you and your ex-robo-boyfriend liked to do, but not everyone can be as free spirited.”

Knowing what comes next after a joke like that, you are quick to grab her wrists before she punches your arm. “Or as violent,” you add, laughing when she pouts at not getting her way. You wrap your arms around her before falling back to lie on the couch. Wanda stretches out her legs to get more comfortable, which is hard to do given your arms are still wrapped around her holding her arms down as well. 

“You’re the worst,” she mumbles into your neck. You laugh. “Hey, don’t start comparing me to your exes. It’s hard to compete with a lab-produced man. He’s probably over six feet tall and can do long division in a blink. Probably does the cheesy things you like, like serenading you and lipsyncs as the song actually plays from his mouth.”

Your arms loosen up as you speak, allowing Wanda to shift more so beside you. Wanda giggles at your rambling and throws an arm around your stomach. “He’s not an Alexa, Y/N.”

“Are you sure? Or you just never tried saying ‘Vision, play Summer by Calvin Harris’?” She bites your shoulder instead of swatting at you. “Ow. What kind of name is Vision anyway? I mean that can only mean he’s packing some serious stuff cause moaning out ‘Vision’ is just not it, you know? I mean, it’s better than ‘Brad’ but honestly most anything is better than Brad.” 

“Ugh!” Wanda lets out in frustration and a hint of embarrassment. Her face turns pink but she tries to hide it behind her hand. She says something else you don’t catch as it’s muffled by her palm. You grab her hand and move her arm back to its original position around you. “What was that?”

“I said ‘I don’t’,” Wanda repeats. 

“You don’t, what?” you ask. Wanda waits a second for you to catch up. “Wait, you and he never?” you ask. When she shakes her head, you are too bewildered by that possibility that you have to confirm. “Never ever?”

She rolls her eyes at you. “Sorry, it’s just that,” you pause. A thought that nearly shuts down your brain takes over and you have to ask, but you weren’t sure how, not knowing if she would want it brought up in case the answer was yes. “Wait! Were you? I didn’t, um.. Did I…”

“Did you, what?” Wanda cautiously asks, noting how hesitant you are to ask whatever it is you were trying to figure out. You clear your throat. “Was I your first?”

You don’t know what you hoped the answer to be. Yes? Being someone’s first can be a big deal and if you were hers, Wanda’s first time, you’d have to move to a mansion for the size of your ego. But another thought arises. Did you live up to her expectations? Her body language seemed to say yes, but maybe she’s just really good at lying. Did you actually disappoint? Wanda disrupts your thoughts by laughing… loudly. 

“Well, damn. A simple ‘no’ would’ve been sufficient,” you pout. Internally, you are a little relieved to not have been the first. When she leaves here, you’ll probably be brought up at an odd time or another in conversation. Three of the small group of Avengers will probably remember you as Wanda’s fling, but you wouldn’t be able to stand being seen as that goof that deflowered the second youngest member of the team. 

“Do not take this the wrong way, Y/N, but I’m glad you were not my first,” she says. Obviously, your response is “Ouch. I don’t know how there is any other way to take that.” She continues, “Because I got to enjoy myself with you. The first time for me was not fun. I didn’t even really like him, but I was tired of everyone comparing me to Pietro, who is as you say more of a ‘free spirit’, and I guess I wanted to prove I could be too.”

With one hand you run your fingers through her hair and with the other you rub her arm in comfort. “Well then in that case, I’m glad I wasn’t your first as well. Also, I enjoyed it too.” She giggles, making you smile in return. “Just sayin’.”

“What about you?” she asks. 

“My first time?” She nods. You hesitate to get into it and she gives you an out. “You don’t have to.”

“No, it’s only fair. My first was actually Skye,” you say. Wanda looks surprised. “I know. A lot of firsts with that one.”

“How did you meet?” Wanda keeps the conversation flowing after a heavy pause.

You chuckle remembering how it happened. “It all started with what Laura coined the great animal rescue,” you start. You tell her the beginning, the middle, and the end of your first and really only relationship. 

“Was she the girl in the picture you showed Peter?” Wanda knows the answer. Why does she do this to herself? Maybe to try to get it through her head that there is someone out there that knows you the way she does and maybe better. Of course, a straight yes or no is too much to ask from you. “Daisy Ridley? I wish! Could you imagine? Rey Skywalker?”

“Maybe Sam has a right to tease you. You are a nerd.” You scoff, “Excuse me. Anyone would be lucky to date ‘only the prettiest woman alive!’” you repeat Peter’s voice, trying to make his voice. Wanda laughs at your impersonation of the young hero.

You remove Wanda’s arm and get off the couch. She frowns. “Where are you going?”

“Getting us a blanket and pillows. It’s way late and although I can talk with you until the sun rises, I need to get some sleep before Nat kicks my ass tomorrow. I’ll be right back,” you say with a smile before turning to grab said items.

You come back, hand Wanda a big pillow you decide you would both use, and stretch the blanket out over her before getting under it and back to the way you were before. 

“Are you comfortable? Do you want the other pillow?” you ask her, which she really appreciates. Once she tells you she’s all good, you kiss her head and wish her sweet dreams.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Wanda replies.

She can’t understand how Skye held so much of you and let you go. Holding you and talking through the night with you, she knows it’s going to hurt when she will have to do the same in a few days. She holds you tighter and closes her eyes, hoping to dream of you tonight.

“Does Vision come with WiFi?”

“Y/N, go to sleep,” Wanda mutters, though she tries not to laugh.

“Sorry, just wondering. Goodnight, Wanda.”

Did Vision have wifi? He doesn’t work like a router, does he? Could she have had a personal hotspot the entire time she was dating him? Wanda needs answers.

“I bet you’re thinking about it now too, huh?” 

“Y/N.”

“Sorry, sleeping now.”

____________________________________________________________________

@madamevirgo @marvels-writings @gayarchnemissis @myperfectlovestory @purplemeetsblue @magicallymaximoff @b0mbdotc0m @helloalycia @ironscarletwidowsoilder @cantcontroltheirfear @trikruismybitch @your-my-mission @imagine-reblog @fayhar @idek-5 @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo @bemyvitamin @musicinourlips @paumxmff @wandamaximoffsrings @yeetus-thyself @lostandsearching @when-wolves-howl @euphoriaszn2 @gingerbreadcookieforlife 

[makeste]

have you noticed in the latest chapter the light is gone from Izuku's eyes? The same way it was gone from Katsuki's between his rescue and Deku vs Kacchan 2 fight. Izuku is hurting inside and im sitting here wondering how long will it be til he hits breaking point

so I’m late in answering these two asks (got them last week after 309 came out) because a certain someone had his birthday and so I was busy reading fanfic and hunting down gremlin faces, and then 310 came along and so I got distracted with that, and also I just suck at answering asks. but anyways, yes. yes to all of this, and thank you both for pointing this out. like, let’s talk about this. because this is how Deku’s eyes look normally,

and this is him in the latest chapter.

first of all, this is really well-played imo, because it’s all about consistency. it’s a very subtle change (or at least I thought it was lol), and the reason it’s so effective is because Horikoshi is so consistent in drawing the “normal” bright-eyed Deku look that you can’t help but notice the change when he suddenly stops. even if you can’t necessarily put your finger on exactly what’s off at first, I think most people definitely got that feeling of something being wrong. and that’s very deliberate.

so why is this important? well because a lot of people’s big fear right now is that the story is tacitly endorsing Deku’s recent choices and painting them as right/correct. namely, people are worried that this whole thing with Deku striking off on his own (because let’s be real, that’s exactly what he’s done; it doesn’t matter that All Might and the Hawksquad are accompanying him, because he’s clearly keeping his distance from them and is ready to give them the slip the moment things get bad) is going to be framed as The Right Decision Which Is Best For Everyone. and for a lot of people, that comes as a betrayal, because up until this point the series has espoused teamwork and trust as core virtues, and what Deku is doing right now is basically the opposite of that.

and this is why little details like the Despondent Eyes of Angst and Despair (or D.E.A.D. eyes for short) are so important -- because they signal to us that this is not the case. they are a very clear visual indicator that in spite of him appearing to have his shit together, Deku is very much not okay right now. like, let me just repeat that one more time: Deku is not fine. Deku is very much not fine here at all. Despondent Eyes of Angst and Despair are not just a little thing to be ignored. D.E.A.D. eyes are a dead giveaway that a character is Going Through It and is not in the right state of mind right now and needs help. but before I start spamming this post with images, let me add a read more cut.

okay, so! case in point,

Nana’s eyes normally:

vs. Nana’s eyes when she’s talking about potentially killing her grandson in order to defeat AFO:

Iida’s eyes normally:

vs. Iida’s eyes when he’s plotting premeditated murder to avenge his brother:

and again, Deku’s eyes normally:

vs. Deku’s eyes in chapters 306 through 310:

Deku’s eyes were still clear all the way up through chapter 305 when he was talking to the Vestiges about wanting to save Tomura. in fact, they were clear af when he was giving his speeches about that, because that light in his eyes always shines brightest when he’s speaking and acting with true conviction. it’s one of the ways the art shows us how determined he is. when Deku talks about saving people no matter what, he’s speaking straight from the heart about one of the core principles of his character, and the look in his eyes reflects that.

now contrast that against the look in his eyes when he talks about not wanting anyone else to get hurt:

once you see it, you can’t not see it. it’s Horikoshi’s way of showing that even though it may sound like the Same Old Deku on the surface, it absolutely is not the Deku we’ve come to know and love. something is deeply wrong. even though these might appear to be the same old convictions he’s always had -- protect everyone at all costs -- he’s gone from acting out of belief and principle to acting out of fear. he’s afraid of someone else getting hurt because of him. he’s so afraid that he’s pushing people away left and right to stop it from happening again. and that fear is holding him back, because as long as he’s holding himself apart from everyone else and trying to do it all solo, he’s making the same mistake that All Might once did. no one can bear all of that weight on their shoulders alone. AFO isn’t someone who can be defeated by any one person alone. the only way he’s ever going to be defeated is if the characters hold true to the one ideal that’s at the very core of the series: one for all. the combined strength of many, working together to overcome the selfish, arrogant, limited strength of one.

basically, this right here is why I haven’t been concerned about the story suddenly veering off the rails with this latest development. like, this isn’t Our Lord And Savior Deku being put on a pedestal and worshipped while all the other characters are shoved aside. this is Literally-Still-Just-A-Child Deku having an angst spiral while the distracted adults around him try their best to keep an eye on him but kind of suck at it because there’s too much other stuff going on that they’re also trying to deal with. All Might could be the one to help him in theory, but in practice he’s too accommodating and doesn’t really know how to say ‘no’ to this kid he loves like his own son, and right now he’s basically letting Deku walk all over him. as for the Vestiges, they’re great for helping Deku in battle, but well, how do I put this lol. basically I’m not fully sold on trusting Deku’s mental health to a bunch of angst-ridden martyrs who all died willingly in order to further the cause of taking AFO down. not really the best life coaches, there.

but you know who I do trust to finally get through to Deku and get him to see reason and start having faith in others again?

these guys.

so yeah. tl;dr, Deku isn’t okay right now and we’re not meant to think he is. and unless I’m way off base, this is going to be a very temporary arrangement. I don’t think Deku can continue as he is right now indefinitely. saving others has been his whole thing since the very start of the manga, but like everything else, eventually it has to come full circle. and I think that very soon, it’s finally going to be his turn to be saved. luckily for him, he’s got some good (and determined) friends. and as they say, giving help that’s not asked for is part of what makes a true hero.

[juminsmysticmc]

RFA + Minor Trio’s second child/ pregnancy

Hello! So, people wanted to see/ experience the second pregnancy of Mc from my Pregnancy series so...every character has his own topic so, please enjoy and tell me your opinion!

Pregnancy Series: Part 1 // Part 2  // Part 3 // Part 4.1 // Part 4.2 // Part 5 // Part 6 // RFA + Minor Trio’s children first day of kindergarten // RFA + Minor Trio’s children first day of school

Jumin

,,Jae Hyuk, come on. Daddy is waiting for us,’’ you told your son who just put his toy away so that you could put a jacket on him.

,,Mom, you were the one who took so long in the bathroom,’’ he whined, making you smile.

Well, he wasn’t wrong. You were experiencing morning sickness and honestly, you were happy that Jumin still didn’t notice anything as you planned on surprising him today while having lunch.

Taking your son’s hand, you walked outside. Three bodyguards surrounded you as you were sure that your son sat comfortable and safe in his car seat.

Five years passed ever since you gave birth to your blonde sunshine, like you liked to call him, and finally you would soon be mother of a second baby.

The car ride was only a few minutes and you could already see Jumin waiting for the two of you in front of the entrance of your son’s favorite restaurant.

,,Father!’’ your son called him, smiling brightly as he saw his father who was just as happy.

,,Are you hungry?’’ he asked his son as he took him in his arms, helping you get off the car and giving you a kiss.

,,How’s your day for now?’’ you asked him as he smiled.

,,Good, but now much better,’’

Everything went well and you were just waiting for the right opening to drop the news, when suddenly your nausea hit again, making you jump up and run towards the restroom, leaving Jumin totally perplexed.

,,Mommy was in the bathroom for so long already at home. Is she sick, father?’’ the boy asked and suddenly felt scared as Jumin tried to understand what was happening.

Leaving his son behind, of course with at least five bodyguards around, Jumin joined you and waited in front of the door.

,,You look pale. Are you alright?’’ he asked you when you walked out, stumbling on your own feet against his arms.

,,I guess I ruined the surprise… I’m pregnant… I forgot how hard the side effects were,’’ you groaned and leaned against your husband who didn’t wait a second longer to take you in his arms and carry you personally to the car to bring you home.

,,You didn’t ruin anything, but instead just made me the happiest man alive,’’ he whispered, not being able to hold back his tears.

Zen

,,Let mommy sleep, princess,’’ Zen whispered as he took his eight years old girl in his arms, patting her head.

,,I miss her too…’’ you suddenly began to sob as you watched your daughter pouting as she wasn’t allowed to play with you, her mother.

Zen looked over to you as you too began to tear up.

His heart was aching as he saw your tears.

Why did you have to go through so much hardship?

The both of you already struggled during the first pregnancy, but she really couldn‘t understand why you also had to have such a hard second pregnancy.

When you first told him that you were pregnant, he was the happiest man alive.

But hearing your sobbing voice over the phone a few months later as you collapsed and found yourself in a puddle of blood, made him regret his job choice for the very first time as he couldn't be there as quickly as he wished.

But luckily you were fine and so was the unborn child. However, a strict bedrest was ordered, making it impossible for you and your daughter to spend some more time together.

,,It will get better soon, I promise, and our daughter will still love you, I swear…’’

Yoosung

,,Dad, can you order my stuff again later?“ your daughter asked her father.

Just two months ago, she first entered school and that’s when you found out that she was a very chaotic one, making Yoosung look over her school things daily. You had to rest a lot because of your pregnancy.

,,Yes! But you have to help me! I won’t tidy up your stuff forever!‘‘ he chuckled and kissed his first born daughter on her cheek as he waited for you to come out of the bathroom, ready to go to visit your mother as you guys were invited for lunch.

After a few more moments, Yoosung decided that he had to just check on you, finding you on the verge of the bathtub, stroking your belly, trying to keep your breath calm.

,,Hey, is everything okay?‘‘ he asked, approaching you and patting your back.

You gently shook your head as you looked up to him. ,,I… I somehow feel some pressure. I think it would be better if we went to the hospital,‘‘ you mumbled, pressing your lips together as they were trembling.

You already went into labor once, but suddenly you felt scared.

You were unsure. Could you handle a little girl and a newborn?

Were you able to take care of your daughter and your baby at the same time?

So many thoughts went through your head, but they suddenly all vanished when Yoosung put his warm hand on yours.

,,This time I will be here from the start. There is no need to worry, Mc. I won‘t leave you and you won‘t have to go through anything on your own,‘‘ he promised.

And so it was, on the way to the hospital, Yoosung informed your mother, who of course was hyped up, and his mother, who immediately agreed to meet you in the hospital.

And while your little girl was being fed by her grandmothers, Yoosung held your hand just like he did for the very first time until your baby boy was born.

,,You were so strong. I’m so proud of you…‘‘ he mumbled and kissed your tears as he observed the sleeping baby in your arms.

Jaehee

At first, the both of you thought that having a son alone would be enough for the two of you.

It was indeed hard since it was all new to you, and even the people around you at first didn‘t quite acknowledge the situation.

But you and Jaehee did a great job raising a good mannered and happy boy.

Ten years later, the both of you decided to have another son and so the tying procedure started again.

Emotional, hard times passed by until one day the test you took was finally positive.

,,I don‘t care if I will have a sister or a brother, I just want the baby to be healthy!‘‘ your son said as he smiled brightly and hugged the both of you, making you tear up as his words were just so cute when you asked him what he preferred.

,,You will have to help us a bit more while Mom needs to rest a bit more. Will you do that for me?‘‘ Jaehee asked her son and of course he agreed to it, ready to protect you and his other mother.

Months passed by and you and Jaehee really felt much calmer than you did when you were pregnant for the first time.

There were so many things you were now aware of, so many things you could do differently, and you felt much better to go through this.

You knew how to change diapers, how to feed a baby, and how to make it work as parents.

,,I am happy that we decided to go with a second son,‘‘ Jaehee confessed one day in the middle of the night after you two closed the shop and laid back on the comfortable sheets.

,,Me too. Thank you for being here with me,‘‘ you nodded and kissed her. You were so thankful and happy because of Jaehee, who was your own new family.

Saeyoung

,,Seri~ah, Si-Eun~ah, promise Daddy that you will help Mommy while I’m away?“ Saeyoung asked his daughters as he looked back at you.

He and Yoosung would go to the States for a week for a LOLOL fan meeting.

The blonde boy won two tickets and of course Saeyoung was invited.

It took him a while until he could really agree to it as you were 32 weeks pregnant.

He wasn’t traumatized from the last pregnancy, but just knew well enough all the risks a pregnancy brought with it, so he was worried.

But since his twin brother also decided to stay back, Saeyoung didn’t have much to worry about.

Well, so he thought until he received a call three days later.

,,Yes, Saeran? Is everything okay? What‘s wrong? Why-”

,,I swear we just passed by some puppies and suddenly she began to sob. I… Should I buy her a puppy? Your daughters are begging me too. I feel like crying too and, gosh, I never thought I would beg you to come home, but when are you coming?“ Saeran began blabbing, something Saeyoung experienced for the first time.

,,I will come home tomorrow morning! It’s just some mood swings, just-”

,,A PUPPY!“

,,Seri?! Where did you-” with that the call was cut and Saeyoung knew that as soon as he came home, Saeran would probably vanish for two weeks straight.

Saeran

,,Mommy, I want to eat pancakes,“ Haeun mumbled as she watched you cook some rice.

The two boys looked at the little girl, knowing what would await them.

,,Good idea, Haeun, Haru baby, do you want to go with Daddy to buy-” you didn’t have to say anything though as your ten year old son already understood that you had another one of your cravings.

,,We warned you!“ Haru whined as he put on his jacket for the third time in a row to bring you something to eat.

,,I forgot that mommy is carrying babies…“ she whimpered and observed her smiling father who was kind of tired, but still happy.

After all, you were expecting another girl after ten years which was a true miracle in his eyes.

And so, another day of you craving food or having extreme mood swings passed.

,,Thank God the baby will soon be there,“ Haru sighed as he took off his shoes to bring you some pancakes.

Jihyun

Your first born Ji-Woon was eight by now and your daughter Lucy was in the middle of puberty when you accidentally got pregnant again.

Of course you and Jihyun were still overjoyed to be able to take care of another child and so was the RFA as someone else got the opportunity to become the Godfather of the coming child.

,,I think it’s a girl!“ Yoosung said, totally sure.

,,My motherly instinct says boy,“ you talked back.

,,No, I am right! It’s a girl!“ Yoosung Yoosung insisted, making everyone look at the two of you.

,,Daddy taught us to never talk back to mom. I think Uncle Yoosung will face a bad ending,’’ the little boy mumbled, sitting on his chair while sipping on his strawberry milk.

Lately, your mood swings were really bad, so of course you began to hiss at him which was a reaction he never expected from you.

,,What do you expect when you tell a mother that her instinct is wrong?’’ Zen laughed as he patted Yoosung’s back, who was sniffling.

,,I know I shouldn’t be sad over this, but she said that I’m just a good for nothing doggy vet and not a doctor who ever looked up to her… you know…?’’

,,Yeah, we all know. We heard everything,’’ Saeran smirked and approached you and Jihyun, who was trying to calm you down.

And so the weeks went by. You grew more and more and so did the child inside of you.

Neither of you wanted to know the baby’s sex until you would give birth, so it was a big surprise when the midwife congratulated you on the birth of your daughter and not son.

,,I guess we need to say sorry to uncle Yoosung,’’ you whispered to your baby. This time she resembled Jihyun and his mother a lot, having the same hair color and expression.

,,You did so well…’’ Jihyun praised you and called in his other two children.

Vanderwood

The pregnancy of your second baby wasn’t an easy one. Firstly, you fainted before even knowing that you were pregnant, making Vanderwood, as well as your daughter, almost have a heart attack.

It was in August, a hot summer day, when you all agreed on having a picnic outside.

Everything was okay at first. You did feel a bit feverish and didn’t have any appetite, but you ignored the signs and thinking about a pregnancy was more than impossible since you and Vanderwood had such a hard time even getting Hana, your first born daughter.

And so, when you began to feel a bit dizzy, you thought that the hot sun was teasing you and that thanks to a bit of water, everything would be fine again.

However, you were so wrong.

You could barely open the bottle and when you called Vanderwood, who was playing with Hana just ten steps further away from you, your legs gave up and your body hit the soft grass.

,,You made Hana cry…’’ Vanderwood mumbled, his eyes teary. When you opened your eyes, you found yourself in a hospital bed and your daughter asleep on a chair.

,,What’s wrong…?’’ you asked him, closing your eyes again as your head was spinning.

,,You’re pregnant…’’ Vanderwood told you, smiling brightly at you when you looked at him in total surprise.

A few hours later, you were allowed to go home with an ultrasound of your baby, surprising the RFA with the news.

However, you were fighting against anemia and fainting like you did on your picnic day.

The second time was on your way home after bringing Hana to school. Since then, you had to wear compression stockings and from there it got a bit better, something you never expected.

,,It will be okay,’’ Vanderwood mumbled as you tried to fall asleep late in the evening after you cried because your feet were in pain.

,,I’m here…’’

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08.09.2021// 21:39 MEST

[cappymightwrite]

What draws you to incest ?

*sighs* Ok, here we go. I'm a real card carrying Jonsa now aren't I?

Anon, listen. I know this is an anti question that gets bandied about a lot, aimed at provoking, etc, when we all know no Jonsa is out here being all you know what, it really is the incest, and the incest alone, that draws me in. I mean, come on now. Grow up.

If I was "drawn" to incest I'd be a fan of Cersei x Jaime, Lucrezia x Cesare, hell Oedipus x Jocasta etc... but I haven't displayed any interest in them now, have I? So, huh, it can't be that.

Frankly, it's a derivitive question that is really missing the mark. I'm not "drawn" to it, though yeah, it is an unavoidable element of Jonsa. The real question you should be asking though, is what draws GRRM to it? Because he obviously is drawn to it, specifically what is termed the "incest motif" in academic and literary scholarship. That is a far more worthwhile avenue of thinking and questioning, compared with asking me. Luckily for you though anon, I sort of anticipated getting this kind of question so had something in my drafts on standby...

You really don't have to look far, or that deeply, to be hit over the head by the connection between GRRM's literary influences and the incest motif. I mean, let's start with the big cheese himself, Tolkein:

Tolkein + Quenta Silmarillion

We know for definite that GRRM has been influenced by Tolkein, and in The Silmarillion you notably have a case of unintentional incest in Quenta Silmarillion, where Túrin Turambar, under the power of a curse, unwittingly murders his friend, as well as marries and impregnates his sister, Nienor Níniel, who herself had lost her memory due to an enchantment.

Mr Tolkein, "what draws you to incest?"

Old Norse + Völsunga saga

Tolkein, as a professor of Anglo-Saxon, was hugely influenced by Old English and Old Norse literature. The story of the ring Andvaranaut, told in Völsunga saga, is strongly thought to have been a key influence behind The Lord of the Rings. Also featured within this legendary saga is the relationship between the twins Signy and Sigmund — at one point in the saga, Signy tricks her brother into sleeping with her, which produces a son, Sinfjotli, of pure Völsung blood, raised with the singular purpose of enacting vengence.

Anonymous Norse saga writer, "what draws you to incest?"

Medieval Literature as a whole

A lot is made of how "true" to the storied past ASOIAF is, how reflective it is of medieval society (and earlier), its power structures, its ideals and martial values etc. ASOIAF, however, is not attempting historical accuracy, and should not be read as such. Yet it is clearly drawing from a version of the past, as depicted in medieval romances and pre-Christian mythology for instance, as well as dusty tomes on warfare strategy. As noted by Elizabeth Archibald in her article Incest in Medieval Literature and Society (1989):

Of course the Middle Ages inherited and retold a number of incest stories from the classical world. Through Statius they knew Oedipus, through Ovid they knew the stories of Canace, Byblis, Myrrha and Phaedra. All these stories end more or less tragically: the main characters either die or suffer metamorphosis. Medieval readers also knew the classical tradition of incest as a polemical accusation,* for instance the charges against Caligula and Nero. – p. 2

The word "polemic" is connected to controversy, to debate and dispute, therefore these classical texts were exploring the incest motif in order to create discussion on a controversial topic. In a way, your question of "what draws you to incest?" has a whiff of polemical accusation to it, but as I stated, you're missing the bigger question.

Moving back to the Middle Ages, however, it is interesting that we do see a trend of more incest stories appearing within new narratives between the 11th and 13th centuries, according to Archibald:

The texts I am thinking of include the legend of Judas, which makes him commit patricide and then incest before betraying Christ; the legend of Gregorius, product of sibling incest who marries his own mother, but after years of rigorous penance finally becomes a much respected pope; the legend of St Albanus, product of father-daughter incest, who marries his mother, does penance with both his parents but kills them when they relapse into sin, and after further penance dies a holy man; the exemplary stories about women who sleep with their sons, and bear children (whom they sometimes kill), but refuse to confess until the Virgin intervenes to save them; the legends of the incestuous begetting of Roland by Charlemagne and of Mordred by Arthur; and finally the Incestuous Father romances about calumniated wives, which resemble Chaucer's Man of Law's Tale except that the heroine's adventures begin when she runs away from home to escape her father's unwelcome advances. – p. 2

I mean... that last bit sounds eerily quite close to what we have going on with Petyr Baelish and Sansa Stark. But I digress. What I'm trying to say is that from a medieval and classical standpoint... GRRM is not unique in his exploration of the incest motif, far from it.

Sophocles, Ovid, Hartmann von Aue, Thomas Malory, etc., "what draws you to incest?"

Faulkner + The Sound and the Fury, and more!

Moving on to more modern influences though, when talking about the writing ethos at the heart of his work, GRRM has famously quoted William Faulker:

His mantra has always been William Faulkner’s comment in his Nobel prize acceptance speech, that only the “human heart in conflict with itself… is worth writing about”. [source]

I’ve never read any Faulker, so I did just a quick search on “Faulkner and incest” and I pulled up this article on JSTOR, called Faulkner and the Politics of Incest (1998). Apparently, Faulkner explores the incest motif in at least five novels, therefore it was enough of a distinctive theme in his work to warrant academic analysis. In this journal article, Karl F. Zender notes that:

[...] incest for Faulkner always remains tragic [...] – p. 746

Ah, we can see a bit of running theme here, can't we? But obviously, GRRM (one would hope) doesn’t just appreciate Faulkner’s writing for his extensive exploration of incest. This quote possibly sums up the potential artistic crossover between the two:

Beyond each level of achieved empathy in Faulkner's fiction stands a further level of exclusion and marginalization. – pp. 759–60

To me, the above parallels somewhat GRRM’s own interest in outcasts, in personal struggle (which incest also fits into):

I am attracted to bastards, cripples and broken things as is reflected in the book. Outcasts, second-class citizens for whatever reason. There’s more drama in characters like that, more to struggle with. [source]

Interestingly, however, this essay on Faulkner also connects his interest in the incest motif with the romantic poets, such as Percy Bysshe Shelley and Lord Byron:

As Peter Thorslev says in an important study of romantic representations of incest, " [p]arent-child incest is universally condemned in Romantic literature...; sibling incest, on the other hand, is invariably made sympathetic, is sometimes exonerated, and, in Byron's and Shelley's works, is definitely idealized.” – p. 741

Faulkner, "what draws you to incest?" ... I mean, that article gives some good explanations, actually.

Lord Byron, Manfred + The Bride of Abydos

Which brings us onto GRRM interest in the Romantics:

I was always intensely Romantic, even when I was too young to understand what that meant. But Romanticism has its dark side, as any Romantic soon discovers... which is where the melancholy comes in, I suppose. I don't know if this is a matter of artistic influences so much as it is of temperament. But there's always been something in a twilight that moves me, and a sunset speaks to me in a way that no sunrise ever has. [source]

I'm already in the process of writing a long meta about the influence of Lord Byron in ASOIAF, specifically examining this quote by GRRM:

The character I’m probably most like in real life is Samwell Tarly. Good old Sam. And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Theon [Greyjoy] is the one I’d fear becoming. Theon wants to be Jon Snow, but he can’t do it. He keeps making the wrong decisions. He keeps giving into his own selfish, worst impulses. [source]

Lord Byron, "what draws you to—", oh, um, right. Nevermind.

I'm not going to repeat myself here, but it's worth noting that there is a clear through line between GRRM and the Romantic writers, besides perhaps melancholic "temperament"... and it's incest.

But look, is choosing to explore the incest motif...well, a choice? Yeah, and an uncomfortable one at that, but it’s obvious that that is what GRRM is doing. I think it’s frankly a bit naive of some people to argue that GRRM would never do Jonsa because it’s pseudo-incest and therefore morally repugnant, no ifs, no buts. I’m sorry, as icky as it may be to our modern eyes, GRRM has set the president for it in his writing with the Targaryens and the Lannister twins.

The difference with them is that they knowingly commit incest, basing it in their own sense of exceptionalism, and there are/will be bad consequences — this arguably parallels the medieval narratives in which incest always ends badly, unless some kind of real penance is involved. For Jon and Sansa, however, the Jonsa argument is that they will choose not to commit incest, despite a confused attraction, and then will be rewarded in the narrative through the parentage reveal, a la Byron’s The Bride of Abydos. The Targaryens and Lannisters, in several ways excluding the incest (geez the amount of times I’ve written incest in this post), are foils for the Starks, and in particular, Jon and Sansa. Exploring the incest motif has been on the cards since the very beginning — just look at that infamous "original" outline — regardless of whether we personally consider that an interesting writing choice, or a morally inexcusable one.

Word of advice, or rather, warning... don't think you can catch me out with these kinds of questions. I have access to a university database, so if I feel like procrastinating my real academic work, I can and will pull out highly researched articles to school you, lmao.

But you know, thanks for the ask anyway, I guess.