#lyrics from: big black car - gregory alan isakov

[secret-smut-sideblog]

Faith Consuming Hope

Gale x F! Tav (named)

(Child Of Dawn, part 9)

18+ complicated feelings, sub/dom, urgency, roughness, riding (f!), temperature play, fingering (f!), oral (f!), p-in-v, unprotected sex, religous trauma, depictions of implied violence, autonomy/identity issues, discussions of terminal illness (in a way), tenderness

Meeting a certain tressym, Gale finds an opportunity to coaxe more sincerity and trust from his closed off love. Though he is powerless to not imbibe in her own persuasion...

Masterlist, Prev Chapter

-

"The roof, huh?" Karlach remarked, leaning on her battleaxe.

"I mean, if we're looking for lost pigeons there's a good chance the creatures would be roofbound." Astarion huffed. "I remind you, I feel this errand is below our standing."

"I know." Aurum sighed good naturedly, patting his arm. Already staring up at the angle of wall to shingles, eyes calculating.

"Oh no you don't." Gale cut off the determination he could already see forming in her face, pulling his sleeves back.

"You're still not well enough, we're taking the safe route." He admonished, pulling a thread of Weave down to him. Twisting it around his fingers and releasing it around them.

Casting flight on them both, the spectral feathers circled her. Lifting her off of her feet, hair hovering above her shoulders.

She gasped out a laugh, giving a little twirl in the air. With the Weave connecting them, he felt her joy washing over him in jubilant waves.

He couldn't help his own wide smile, taking her hand. "Shall we?" He lifted up, pulling her up through the air.

He flew them a little farther than necessary, savoring this small moment. Her eyes held his in sparkling wonder when they landed, his heart so full of adoration it ached.

"Getting truly swept off your feet. Thoroughly magical, yes?" He smiled.

"Are you fishing for compliments, wizard?" She teased, eyes still dancing with mirth.

"Oh, you know me too well."

She ran a finger along the bridge of his nose.

"You're too cute when you do that."

"Do what?" He wondered, genuinely confused.

Her eyes caught a sight over his shoulder.

"Well I think we found our culprit." She intoned warmly, coming around his side.

Folding elegantly onto knees, she held her hand out to the cat to sniff.

No, not cat. Tressym. Surely it couldn't be...

"Tara!" He called excitedly. "It is you! What are you doing up here?"

She paused from sniffing Aurum's extended fingertips. "What a well-mannered acquaintance you have here, Mr. Dekarios. So few greet me so politely."

Aurum smiled, tilting her head at Tara. Leaving her palm open for her to push her little head into.

"Ah, it would be a great disservice to call her my acquaintance! This is Aurum, my..."

He was at a loss to what to call her. They certainly hadn't made anything official, but he didn't want to overstep by naming it outright...

"Girlfriend." She finished easily. "Aurum Orndeir, pleasure to meet you."

He smiled so wide he thought his face might crack. Glad that she was preoccupied greeting Tara to not see his surely giddy looking display.

"I'm glad you two have finally met, I had been hoping it could've been over a home cooked meal in my tower and not on precarious shingles."

They both gave him a look of teasing reproach, setting his heart fluttering.

Oh, these two might be trouble together.

"Inviting me to your house for the first time? You must really like me." Aurum remarked, Tara purring appreciatively at her sass.

"More than you could possibly believe."

She bit her lip at him in a smile, turning back to Tara. "If it's not too much of a bother Tara, we've been tasked to retrieve these letters." Aurum explained, gesturing to the letters strewn inside of the nest Tara was guarding.

"Ah, these must be important birds indeed, Ms. Orndeir."

"They were." Aurum agreed warmly. "I'm sure their handler would appreciate your discretion. But between you and me, they do seem delicious."

"What better company you've been keeping recently. A welcome change." Tara circled around Aurum's feet as she rose, letters in tow.

He always loved watching her charm those around her, but even more so here. Tara's approval was hard to come by, but she was firmly within her good graces already. Gods, it was no wonder why she had him so happily wrapped around her finger.

"What a lovely tressym!" She sighed, watching Tara glide away.

"I'm impressed you correctly identified her! Have you met many before?"

"Only one, it would come to a window at the temple sometimes." She smiled somewhat mournfully, many emotions flitting across her face.

He took her hands, pulling her eyes to his. Pouring his earnestness into her.

"Would you tell me more? About your time there, I mean."

She sighed, thumb rubbing the curve of his fingers. "It's very few happy memories."

"I know, but I'd like to hear them anyway." He encouraged, voice low.

Her lips pursed in thought. He tried not to show the desperation on his face. Woefully aware that though he had bared his soul to her countless times, there were large swaths of her life she had not shared with him. He knew it was due to pain and not indifference towards him, but it still made his heart ache all the same.

He wanted her to share everything with him, to be a safe harbor for her strife.

"I know I promised I would show you, and I will. But not now, we need to get back to our earth bound friends." She smiled, pulling his hands towards the lip of the roof.

The relief washing over him was apparent. Sighing out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"Tonight, then?" He urged.

"Tonight." She nodded.

-

The chatter around the fireplace was as warm as the flames. Bowls and wine glasses being passed around, mouths leaning in to tell anecdotes, hands gesturing. Aurum smiled at the banter Karlach and Wyll had started up, hotly debating which is worse; an Orthon or a Cambion.

Gale's body enveloped behind hers, hand rubbing small absent-minded circles into her waist. She leaned back into him contently, looking up at him.

He stared back down at her lovingly, planting a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Getting sleepy?" He whispered.

"A little. You're too snuggly, it's not fair." She chastised.

"Gods, you two are so sweet it's going to give me an abscess. Go to your private chambers before we vomit, please." Astarion chided.

"I love you too, Astarion." She smiled, rising and kissing his cheek.

"Would you like to retire, Gale?" She offered her hand to him.

"Yes, let's." He sighed, more than happy to have her to himself again.

She unlocked their suite with quick fingers and pulled him inside, pinning him against the closed door.

He jolted in surprise, lips crashing into his. Her body pressed hard against his, mouth slick and demanding. Hand tangling in his hair.

He moaned against her, heat immediately igniting in his pelvis. Taking two handfuls of her ass greedily.

He tried not to focus on just her figure too often, but Gods, what a sight she was.

Wide hips that swayed when she walked, thighs thick and lambs ear soft. Hips dipping so enticingly into waist, the small curve of her stomach. Breasts just big enough to fit in his hands, their smaller size complimenting her ample hips.

He would have to commission a statue of her when they got back to Waterdeep.

He kneaded the fat of her ass in his hands, groaning against her mouth. Already unbearably hard.

He knew she was trying to distract him from their incoming conversation. But he was a greedy man, and she was a call he had no desire to resist.

Her hands pulled roughly at his robe, wrestling with the tie at his waist. Impatient, she pulled it down over his shoulders, the fabric falling around his waist.

Her mouth left his and he sought for more, following. Until her mouth found his chest.

She swirled his nipple into her soft mouth. His head fell back against the door with a thunk. Gods it was so good. The twisting pulses of her mouth emptying his head. Nothing but hazy desire glazing over his eyes.

His hips arched towards her of their own accord. A magnetic pull.

She noticed, dropping to knees. Beginning to pull his robe aside.

"Wait," He panted, halting her approach with a gentle hand.

She looked up at him, eyes wide. "Is something wrong?"

Gods give him strength.

"No, quite the opposite." He dropped to knees with her, cupping her cheek.

"I want to treat you tonight. Our last coupling was just my pleasure."

She smiled cheekily at him. "If you think I didn't enjoy myself that night you're a fool."

"Oh most definitely a fool. One that wants to give you the ecstasy of the heavens and the passion of the hells."

He moved forward on knees, kissing along her swan neck. "Please, Aurum. It's all I want..."

She sighed in pleasure, head falling back.

"Well I have been curious about this talented mouth you've mentioned..."

Oh, she'd get her curiosity sated.

He chuckled and opened the ties of her silk robe, now dyed a deep purple. When she had debuted it casually, walking out into their shared room, his jaw quite literally dropped. Then a deep wonderful heartache set in when he realized it was his purple. The one he often sported.

The color suited her beautifully. The rich indigo contrasted with her gilded hues, like a gold ring circled with sapphires.

"Lay back, my sun and moon." He hushed. "Let me love you."

-

Aurum's heart constricted, but she looked into his deep brown eyes. Trying to separate the devotion apparent there from her tainted experiences. Assuring herself that his love wasn't weighted, she didn't need to perform any role here.

No one had loved her so purely, and it terrified her. The ever circling thoughts: What even was she outside of her holy purpose? Could there truly be more to his love than misplaced worship?

That the true reason why she had pushed his love away for so long is that, on some level, she was afraid of him. The depth and honesty of him was too warm, too open. And what did it mean to be loved like that? How could she live up to what he poured into her?

He looked at her as she hesitated, her swirling thoughts reading on her face.

"I love you, Rosa'sune."

Her mouth fell open. Shock stricken through the heart.

"How...?"

"Ah," He chuckled, embarrassed. "A truly humiliating amount of research. I'm sorry if that's a breach of trust, your family name was too familiar to not investigate."

His eyes lit in that spark of joy he got in sharing information.

"Your birth name, did you know it's of drow origin? Fascinating, for a wood elf to take inspiration from Undercommon."

"It's..." She started. "My wet nurse named me, she was drow."

His eyes sparkled. "Do you know what it means?"

She shook her head, her father had never shared that with her before he sent Ih'ara away.

"She chose well for you. It means warm rain."

Aurum hissed a breath between teeth, eyes welling.

"Oh, my love." He hushed, gathering her in his arms.

So much had been taken from her, her body, her voice. Her name. Little pieces of her whittled away, year after year. She had held on white knuckled to the fragments she still remembered. So much lost, discarded as useless by higher hands. Now, another piece of her was returned.

"Thank you." She hiccuped, hot tears dampening his shoulder.

He rubbed warm circles into her back.

"It's my greatest pleasure, my soft summer rain."

She pulled back and kissed him, her heart overflowing. A well of tenderness for him so full it ached.

Leaning back, she looked deep in his eyes. Body falling open for him.

He smiled, breathing a slow breath in through parted lips. Looking at her with deep longing. Eyes brimming with an intensity of adoration that nearly made her dizzy.

"Please give me your love, Gale."

He leaned down, cupping her face. Kissing her so deeply it took her breath. Slotting between her legs, a wide hand caressing the outside of her thigh. Pulling it up into a curve, angling around his hip.

Her head fell back from the kiss when he started to slowly grind into her. His lust blown pupils watching her face through lidded eyes. Thumb stroking her cheek. His labored breath a warm miasma that encircled her.

Her robe fell open with the arching of her chest. The sunburst burning a brilliant silver between them.

He kissed along her sternum, pulling up on her ribcage with a low moan. Mouth traveling to her breast, tip of his tongue trailing a circle around her peak.

She shivered, cunt clenching. Her nipple already standing eagerly at attention.

His warm mouth enveloped the hard nub, tongue pulling up in a swirl.

She whined, legs rising up into a curl.

He naturally hooked them over his shoulders, continuing to swirl and flick, sending jolts of pleasure through her. Her hips tried to grind into his belly, leaving a wet trail on the toned plane.

He moaned into her flesh, hand pushing down to cup her cunt. Gathering her slick in his fingers, eyes fluttering up into lids at the sensation.

"Gods, Aurum." He groaned, looking down at the copious pull of arousal on his fingers. "Is this all for me?"

She nodded, biting her lip. A blush rising to her cheeks at how much there was coating his long fingers.

He held her eyes as his slicked fingertips lit up a low red, casting a spell under his breath. Her breath held as she felt a wave of heat radiating from them, slowly plunged into her.

Immediately, her hips started writhing. His hot thrusting fingers bringing choppy whimpers to her lips. The heat impossibly pulling more slick from her. Pushing out into his palm.

"Fuck," He gasped, pulling back to watch her arousal drip down his wrist. Hips rocking unconsciously, heavy lidded eyes roving over her arching body.

Her orgasm already fast approaching, she gripped his wandering hand and pressed it to her chest. Yellow and silver twisting under her sternum, rays of light carding out between his fingers.

He watched rapturously as she crested over, her light reflected in his wide eyes. The sunburst pulsed brightly under her clenched shut eyes. Body twisting up as the pleasure took her apart. Gasping out pleading whines, hips bucking hard into his skilled fingers.

His thrusts slowed but didn't stop, thumb rubbing gentle circles into her clit.

Her hips twitched with each pulse, her cum pooling in his palm.

"Gods below..." He breathed, arcing his head down. Lapping up her cum, tongue plunging into her to catch more.

She whined, pushing into his mouth. Already needing more. Hand linking with his below her sternum. Twisting and pulling his fingers in phrases as he slurped at her clit.

Yes. Yes. More. Slow. Yes.

The working of his mouth was sending her toes into a curl, trying her hardest not to clamp her legs around his head. Muffling her cries into her cupped palm. The pulls of her fingers in his becoming more frantic.

His hand not twined with hers caressed along her thighs, her hips. Reverent skating fingers, feather light. The sensation mingling with the hungry wet pulls of his tongue. Slurping and suckling her clit with low moans. Tongue pulsing down to enthusiastically catch the arousal that poured from her.

Her second undoing pushed up higher and higher in her pelvis. His mouth too insistent, too learned already. Fast learning what took her apart at the seams.

"Gale, I'm-" She whimpered, gripping his hair back in a ponytail.

He looked up at her, nodding fervently. Mouth impossibly hungrier, roaming fingers pulling back to her center to push back inside her. Curling up and pumping hard.

His talking fingers twisting fast phrases against hers, already fluent in her language.

Go. Let go. Good. Beautiful. Safe. Give. Want.

Her mouth fell open in a silent cry, her second death hitting mercilessly, ripping up through her belly. Her own fingers unable to speak to him. Just grasping desperately into his, twining into his wide hand. Hips bucking erratically, his mouth still pulling as she clenched the fingers inside her, body demanding from them. His mouth determined to pull the thread of her orgasm to its frayed end.

He had no sign of stopping, and she had to pull back on his gathered hair. "Gale, baby, slow down..." She breathed, a small laugh on her lips.

"I'm sorry," He gasped, his own chuckle on the edge of his words. "I've been ravenous for this. Absolutely starved."

His middle and ring fingers pulled on hers in a warm circle. The phrase they had made together.

Her head cocked slightly, a baffled smile creasing her face.

"Good morning?" Giving a pointed look at the dark balcony.

"Ah," He smiled, heat rising to his cheeks. "Well, I know we agreed upon a meaning for this. But I've been deceiving you, see I've had my own meaning from the start."

He came up to her, planting a gentle and needful kiss into her lips. Murmuring his true phrase against her, pulling his looped fingers in tandem.

Her heart ached so deeply, thinking of the amount of times they'd exchanged this greeting. Nearly every morning, as he rose to meet her in the early blue light, their fingers found each other and spoke two phrases to each other.

Good morning.

I love you.

Tears streamed down her temples, kissing him in desperate tender pulses. Trying to get as close as nature allowed without being inside. But the world would only give her the inverse.

"Please, Gale." She whimpered against his warm mouth. "I need you inside me."

His breath caught, then slowly pulled through his teeth. Flipping onto his back. Fingers hooking around her hips and pull her to straddle him.

"Lead, my love. Let me be the seat of your pleasure." He rumbled, voice all gravel. Eyes dark and deceptively calm.

Her cunt clenched at his voice, the desire bleeding from him. His fingers massaging into the flesh of her hips in restrained encouragement.

She lost all decorum then, giving into the animalistic carnal drive she loved to indulge. Though she adored his love making, this was her true nature. Fucking mean and nasty.

She angled him to her entrance and slid him slowly inside, gripping his lower belly in fingernails. Mewling at the stretch, her cunt already bearing down in greedy clenches. His head falling back, gripping her thighs for dear life.

"Ah-h- tight..." He moaned out, voice choppy. Eyes fluttering back into lids.

She gave no pause, body unbearably hungry for him. To chase that feral desire into oblivion. To fuck him into the mattress until he was pleading.

She rolled her hips up and down in a vicious wave, his cock stroking euphoria into her body. Knowing that she should ease him in, but far too ravenous to slow herself.

Opening her strained shut eyes, she watched him. His eyebrows furrowed together in pleasure, lips fallen open with huffed breath. Flushed with exertion, the slightest sheen of sweat on his brow. Watching her with equally hungry eyes.

Losing herself entirely to her base desire, she drug her nails down his chest. Moaning at the pink lines that raised in her trail and his thrown back head.

She pulled his hands from her hips and pinned his wrists next to his head, leaning over his face. Hips still driving in hard thrusts. Hair falling curtain around him.

His wide eyes stared up at her, pupils so blown they were black saucers.

With a low groan she licked up his neck, tongue curling around his adam's apple. Flicking up the edge of his jaw.

She felt his cock throb hard inside her, his lower lip pulled into his teeth. A slight tremor in his thighs.

"So handsome," She breathed against his throat. "Trying not to come undone for me."

He moaned out a pleading whine as her hips picked up speed. Chasing her pleasure untethered. Pressing her hands down on his wrists as an anchor.

"Aurum," He whimpered, head turning to the side in effort. Teeth gritted and drawing fast shallow breath.

She rose his hands above his head, overlapping his wrists to push down in one hand. Her freed hand taking his chin, pulling his face back to hers.

His eyes met hers, wide and begging. "Kiss me..." He gasped, thighs starting to tremble.

She pulled him hard into her, stifling his cry in her mouth as he came apart under her. Wrists pushing against her hand, body twisting and arching desperately. Hands clenching into white knuckled fists. Hips bucking up into her in fast, erratic thrusts. Flooding her cunt to its brim.

Her hold broke as she buckled forward, crying out against his shoulder. Her body responding in kind as her own end crested, vice gripping him in vicious contractions. Wrenching him of all the spend he could give. His newly freed hands flying to her hips, slamming them up and down in an even faster pace than she had set.

She gripped into his shoulders, eyes rolling marbles in her skull. Mewling out desperate cries as his unrelenting thrusts pushed her orgasm to an impossibly high edge. Fingernails clawing into his skin. Shuddering hard, their shared cum pushing out onto his pelvis.

Tracing the sign for stop into his palm, she fell boneless into him as he stilled her thrusts. Both gasping out fast breaths into each other's necks.

He cupped the back of her head, pushing exhausted kisses into her hairline, her temple, the point of her ear. Murmuring out I 'love you' in repeating croaky hums.

She bit his shoulder in response, giggling at his dissaproving sigh.

Pulling his fingers in their new meaning three times for good measure. His happy sigh at her response setting her heart alight.

-

Gale ruffled his hair into a fresh towel, stepping out of the bath. Disappointed that he woke too late to share in her own bathing. Gods forgive him, but he was unexpectedly exhausted for some reason he couldn't quite place. Sleeping like a stone, body a puddle. Waking feeling far more rested than he had in months. But to a devastatingly empty bed, after all.

He would have to work on coaxing her to stay in bed in the morning. Wanting nothing more than to lay in warm tangled limbs as the sun rose. Snuggled into a lazy pile together, morning be damned.

Naturally, she had already been up, sweeping around the room in his robe. Greeting his groggy wandering with gentle kisses along his jaw, humming good morning to him. Tea in hand, hair piled elegantly on her head. Dodging his hands trying to pull her back into bed with a teasing click of her tongue.

He emerged from their bathroom feeling more like a person again, sleep pulling it's veil back. The rising sun cascading across the balcony where she was sat, leaning her hand on her chin, smiling at a little figure striding on the table.

Tara twirled happily, speaking low to her. A conspiratorial look passing between them, Aurum's wide smile telling of secrets being passed.

His heart soared watching them, a sleepy smile spreading across his face.

"Now, what are we whispering about?" He hummed, raising one eyebrow. Kissing Aurum's temple as he came up behind her.

"Well, I was just informing Ms. Orndeir that both your mother and I are so excited to see you finally find a partner, and such a lovely one at that. She was absolutely beside herself when I told her the news."

She tutted at him, turning back to Aurum. "Thank goodness he's found someone to settle down with. We were starting to think he intended to die alone! Now, if you could just convince him to shave that unsightly beard..."

"Oh, I don't know." Aurum smiled, eyes sparkling as she looked up at him. "I think it makes him look rugged."

Her fingernails scratched light circles into his beard, sending little trails of pleasure across him. His eyes closing, mind emptying.

"Such a cat." She teased, scratching under his chin playfully.

"Oh, Morena is quite eager to meet you, my dear." Tara remarked, tail in a happy curl.

"Now hold on a minute," He started, already knowing far too well how the Dekarios women schemed. "How much has been agreed upon without my input?"

"Oh, please, let the women talk." Tara waved away his protest easily.

"We have ever so much to catch up on, and it wouldn't do to not have a spot of tea and chat. Wouldn't you agree, Mrs. Dekarios?"

Gale sputtered out his tea, Aurum patting hard into his back with a laugh.

"I couldn't agree more." She hummed, smiling radiantly at the little tressym. "Tell Morena that she can expect us as soon as we're available."

Oh, the three of them would be trouble together, of that he was sure. Though he desperately yearned to have them all under one roof, he knew there was no hope for him once they were united.

"Of course, we must meet your family as well." Tara added.

Aurum smiled sadly, her jaw tightening just slightly. "I'm sad to say it's just me. There are no more of my lineage left."

"Oh," Tara intoned softly. "I'm very sorry, dear."

"I appreciate that." Aurum sighed, eyes warm.

"Well, no matter. The Dekarios clan is sprawling enough to make up for that tenfold."

Gale laughed appreciatively at that. "Truer words never spoken. An abundance of family, honestly a suffocating amount."

"I would like that." Aurum smiled, thumb caressing his on the table.

"Of course, we would always welcome another..." Tara started, eyeing her in a leading lilt.

"Tara!" Gale hushed, glaring down. "That is not up for discussion!"

Of course, he had thought about it. In vague faraway musings naturally. Even more so as he realized in a jolt that he had finished inside her last night. But still.

Aurum's face slid into that practiced grace that, to the outside, presented a calm serenity. His fingers subtly stroked hers in a reassuring arc, acknowledging her veiled distress.

"I'm sure we will have much to discuss when the opportunity presents itself." He retorted, reigning the conversation back in protectively.

"But my beloved and I have much to attend to today. Our work is endless, isn't it?" He sighed, kissing her cheek.

She smiled, signing a subtle 'thank you' into his fingers. "Truly." She sighed in return.

"Tell Morena that I'll be expecting that letter, though I'm uncertain where it will find me." Aurum added, rising with him from the patio table.

"Ah, no matter. I'm certain I can spot that light in any crowd." Tara tilted her head at Aurum's chest, purring. "Such a radiant sight."

Aurum rested her hand over it, the silvery white hue reassuring.

"Thank you." She offered graciously. Giving away none of the discomfort he knew she felt. Keeping to herself that she tightly shielded this light away from the prying eyes of the world.

His hand weaved into hers pulled gently behind her back to sign freely.

Are you okay?

She stepped back into him.

Good. Safe. I love you.

His knees still went weak when she said it, by mouth or hand. He imagined it would have that effect on him for quite some time.

As Tara glided away he led her inside by the small of her back. She sighed heavily, a sad smile pulling across her face.

"I wish I didn't have to disappoint them."

His heart fell three stories.

"What do you mean? There's no way-"

She turned to him, taking both of his hands into hers. The clench of her jaw and the shaky breath she exhaled through her nose making him pause.

"Is it time?" He hushed, opening his mind to her pre-emptively.

She nodded, the pain in her face making his heart ache.

He leaned his forehead into hers.

"Show me."

She took one deep breath, then closed her eyes. Releasing to him.

A wave of memories crashed over him.

Rising choirs, large sweeping rooms and great clanging bells. The weight of duty. The weight of bearing worship. A purpose so definitive that imperfection was not possible. A voice that was silenced to only sing in hymns. A body that belonged to a higher power, to many powerful hands. Many hands. Many hands holding down. Many hands carving. Many voices drowning out her screams in harmonized rising prayer.

He choked out a sob, tears burning his eyes. But he held strong onto the channel as she tried to pull away. Feeling her hesitation that it was overwhelming him.

The broken hollow cries to her god. Begging night after night on hands and knees to return her faith to her. To return her love, her trust. Then to ask why. Why, why, why.

Then, finally, to give her retribution. To intercede for her if nothing else. If she cannot hide from his wrath, then neither can he. She must stop him, she must be the only one. The unbearable burning in her chest. One word, the only her god spoke to her. Hissed in her ear.

Ungrateful.

She pulled back, cupping his face as he wept.

"I'm sorry, that was too much." She wiped his tears away with her thumbs. Kissing him in soft pulses.

He stared at her in deep sorrow, gripping her hands in a desperate attempt to communicate his grief. No words could express it.

She smiled at him, gently sweeping her thumb over his cheek.

"When I would cry as a child, my wet nurse would never scold me. She would only say a phrase: Roesor russte xanalress, xta'rl transilit. Sorrow exhausts language, touch translates."

"Come here." She whispered, pulling him into her arms.

-

"We need to tell them." Gale's voice equally determined and genuine. Lathering soaps into her hair.

Aurum had just started to relax, his fingers massaging into her scalp.

"They don't need to know. It won't do any good to just add another thing on their backs. Not while there's a elderbrain still looming."

Her hands swam slowly in the bathwater, hoping he would relent to her. That her tone and words could be sliding and smooth enough to pull him back around.

"Both Astarion and I know." He pointed out, unhelpful.

"Yeah, and that's two more than I had planned on already." She grumbled.

"Okay, ouch..."

"You know I don't mean it in that way... Look, it won't change anything if they stay in the dark. We'll still have the same battles lined up as far as the eye can see, just with one less looming death on their minds."

He hissed out a breath behind her, clearly caught hearing her say it so plainly.

Another of the reasons she had planned on keeping it entirely to herself. Her death was a certainty that she had made peace with long ago. Others were usually not ready, nor willing, to meet her where she was.

It was unfair to expect that level of acceptance from people so fresh to grief, so it suited her better to just keep that information where it belonged. A facet of her that was irrelevant to their endeavors.

"Besides, Aylin cooled the heat death enough for a few extra years. Even if our troubles carry on to that excruciating of a degree, it's covered." Her tone was fluid and twinkling enough to usually make him laugh.

"Rosa." His voice stern.

Her jaw clenched hard. She knew, deep down, that he was right. They both were. Her approaching death would weigh heavy on them and they would want to know.

"Chi'thall... you're not going to give in on this, are you?" She huffed, letting her hands float on the warm slippery water.

"No." He kissed the edge of her pointed ears. "I am not."

Rising her arm from the bath, she rested an elbow on the water fragrant wood. Leaning her forehead into fingers.

He stayed quiet, knowing her far too well now. Knowing more of his words meant more pathways for her to persuade. Letting her sit in the silence.

"After dinner." She finally offered.

"You're doing the right thing, my love." His warm voice in her ear, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"I know..." She sighed, heart already exhausted.

Aurum avoided the grief-stricken eyes as much as she could. Explaining in as clear and as reassuring words that could be mustered when dealing in death. Harnessing all of her gracious talent to distill this news into something less devastating.

Answered all of the tearful follow up questions that naturally came.

"There's no way to fix it, outside of divine intervention. Or giving in, but trust me, you dont want that."

"Burning, then implosion. It's safe to be near, I can't hurt you. I would hurt you far worse as the weapon I was designed to be."

"Long enough. With Dame Aylin's grace, I have more than enough time to see this through with all of you."

The air in the room was quiet and swollen with sorrow, soft sniffling and heavy sighs.

Karlach rose from her seat, breaking the silence with a stride forward.

She gathered Aurum up into her. Arms twining strong around her back, cradling the back of her head. Not crying, not choked. Just holding on.

Aurum's eyes closed, relieved. Leaning into her chest, relaxing into her in a slow exhale she hadn't even felt herself holding.

They weaved into each other in solidarity, an unspoken understanding flowing warm through. More arms joining around her until she was encircled completely. Tears staining her shoulder, her back, the crown of her head. Quiet hiccuping breaths and choppy embarrassed laughs.

"We're so glad to have you." Karlach murmured into her ear. Several heads nodding into her in agreement. Recognizing the scratch of Gale's beard against her neck.

"Thank you." She whispered, overcome.

~

Part 10

[distantdarlings]

WHAT FEELS LIKE FOREVER // t. nott (Multi-Part) PT. 2

RATING: R / 1.8K WORDS (Pt. 2)

Theodore Nott x Reader-Insert (No gender-specific details)

+ SUMMARY - Your first performance in America starts off roughly. Theo makes the decision to perform a song you wrote. The only problem is that you wrote that song for him, attempting to express your feelings towards him. He was never meant to find it.

+ WARNINGS - Language, tension, angst, eventual smut

+ MUSIC (Listened to while writing) -

Big Black Car - Gregory Alan Isakov

(Small note before I begin: I have been very inspired by Gregory Alan Isakov while writing these chapters and sort of imagined the band sounding like his music and Theo's singing voice sounding like his. Just wanted to mention that so y'all could be on the same page of imagination as I was if you wanted! :) Enjoy!)

---

Theo’s lips spoke the words you had written down in a small journal. Written—unbeknownst to him—for him.

The day Theo had caught you whispering the lyrics as you nursed an alcohol-stained cigarette beneath the stars, was the day the song had been discovered. Theo loved it instantly and demanded the two of you wrote the rest of it together and record it. You had kept your mouth closed for fear of a dry throat and a clenched heart saying things you truly meant.

Now the whole world knew how you felt when even you didn't know how you felt. It wasn't an ideal situation in the slightest and the knowing glances Mattheo and Enzo shot you made you feel even worse. 

"Everything you do…," you harmonized with Theo, hearing the way your breaths mingled through the amplifiers. Your chest ached with the dull knife of holding tears in. This song always fucked you up. How you’d begged Theo not to record it…

"...changes how I see us, how I saw us then…," your voice cracked under the pressure of the tears you were suppressing. Theo gave you an odd but worried glance. You swallowed thickly, looking down at the instrument in your hands, focusing on that rather than your screw-up and the sobs that pushed rapidly up your throat.

You finished off the chorus successfully, having stared at the lights trained on the stage until the tears receded. This was your last song…or it wasn't…you couldn't remember and you didn't care. You swiftly slipped the strap of your bass off your shoulders and set the instrument down on its stand.

If you didn't get out now, you would explode. The heat and the lights and the crowd and Theo and Enzo and Mattheo—it was too much. You pushed through the backstage door and felt the autumn air abuse the sweat on your neck. Your hands spread over the balcony, holding your weak back up. The tears that threatened to spill rose in your throat once more. You hurriedly loosened your tie and unbuttoned the top button of your shirt, ripping the suit jacket off along with it. It was so stuffy in there and the cool air felt like the touch of an angel. 

Your head hung between your shoulders, feeling them shake with each sob that racked your body. The roots that had planted in your heart burned like a hot poker in your sternum, scorching through your ribs and skin from the inside-out.

You cried out at the pain caused by a single man and the way it felt to be without him. You needed to tell Theo how you felt but the fear of animosity coming from him scared the hell out of you. The thought of hatred any deeper than their normal arguments made you feel like you were dying.

The desire to feel Theo’s hands on your body was more than anything you’d ever felt in your life. It wasn't just a sexual thing. It was something much deeper than that and had been for a very long time. You feared his reaction more than death at this point. But you wanted—needed—to tell him. 

The backstage door opened much gentler than it had when you had come out. You could hear shoes scraping against the concrete and light exhales. You recognized the pattern of them, knowing the way Enzo breathed.

"Hey," the man said quietly, placing his hand on your back. His presence seemed to invoke a sense of tranquility almost instantly. Your cheeks dried and the pain alleviated a bit.

"Enzo, I—"

"I know." 

You shut up at this. You knew that he had known for a while now, it just felt odd speaking openly about it. It felt wrong but he seemed to make it alright.

"I don't know what to do…," you whispered.

"You will."

There were no more words after this. Only Enzo’s hand on your back and his gentle breathing that soothed you like a lullaby.

× × ×

When the group arrived back at the hotel—still, no words were spoken. Enzo’s hand no longer touched your back and his breathing was too far away to hear. 

Theo did not look at you once and your neck ached with the weight of the older's coldness. You could taste the bitter mood on your tongue and you tried to swallow it, but it remained. The aftertaste seemed to be stronger.

The silence became almost suffocating once you had stepped through the door to your hotel room. You shut it and collapsed against the broadside of it, sliding the length of your spine down its surface. 

You brought your knees to your chest and buried your face between the two of them, covering your ears with your arms. Radio static and honeyed oatmeal voices rang in your head at a deafening volume. You sighed at the aggressive cacophony within your brain, wishing desperately for it to stop.

You had to tell Theo—that much was obvious. But how? If you were going to get practical, you’d technically already told him. You’d confessed when he had found the song. But the older man hadn't known this.

You pulled himself from the floor and approached the cream telephone that sat menacingly on the bedside table. Your breathing picked up uncomfortably, making a bit of panic set in. Your fingers closed around the receiver and you brought to your ear. You called the front desk and asked for Theo’s room number. Your heartbeat echoed in your ears at the anticipation. 

"Who's this?"

"Um…Theo, it's me."

"Oh," the voice on the other end chuckled. "I thought you were some crazy fan or something. What's up, love?"

"C—" you choked on your words, your throat swelling as if a pillow had been shoved down it. "Can you come to my room, please?"

There was a silence on the other end that lasted only a few milliseconds. It was most likely Theo hearing the question and making a decision, but it felt like years to you. The fingernails on your free hand creased into the flesh of your palm so deeply you could've sworn you were drawing blood.

"Yeah, sure thing," he spoke. "I’ll be right over. Do you want me to bring my pillow?"

"If you want," you said, a breath of air slipping past your lips in delighted relief.

"Alright," he whispered into the phone, the crackly connection making it seem as if Theo was there next to you already.

The line went dead and, still, you stood there, with the phone pressed to your ear. It was as if you were waiting for him to come back and tell you he was just kidding. That he would never help you out or stay with you.

Your throat felt tight again. but the feeling did not remain when there was a knock at your door. The phone slipped from your fingers and clattered against the dresser, dangling against each individual drawer.

You made your way to the door and pulled it open—perhaps a bit too harshly. Theo waited on the other side with his pillow tucked beneath his arm. He was already in his night clothes—the same trousers and shirt as this morning on the beach. 

"Hey," you spoke breathlessly.

"Hey," he replied, equally breathless as if he had run the whole way here. Your stomach tingled at the thought of him hurrying as fast as he could to see you. It made you feel as warm as if he had just wrapped you in a blanket.

Theo stepped in and threw his pillow on your bed, collapsing against the old mattress right after it. He made himself comfortable, slipping his feet beneath the duvet.

"I have to take a shower, okay?" you said.

"Of course—I'm not your mum," he chuckled which made the younger suppress a smile.

"Okay." 

You made quick with your work of grabbing your night clothes—the jumper and trousers you wore this morning—out of the dressers and exiting the room. You walked down the hallway to the communal showers at the end of it. You didn't like having to share showers with strangers but you reckoned it was better than nothing.

The shower was quick and hot and steamed up the bathroom fast. The moisture in the air filled your lungs and made it somewhat difficult to breathe. In an effort to get out of the suffocating room, you dressed quickly and hung your towel around your neck.

When you arrived back into the room, Theo had drifted off. His eyes were peacefully shut and his body was curled around his pillow like a child to its mother. Your chest ached at the small tells he seemed to have that always compared him to a young boy.

The duvet had been pulled up to his waist and tucked messily. He looked comfortable. 

You smiled softly and ran the towel over your hair once again, attempting to dry it a bit more. You threw the used material in the corner of the small closet and made your way over to the bed.

As gently as you could, you slipped beneath the heavy duvet and laid on your side, watching over Theo. You watched as his body rose and fell with stable breaths.

The older's eyes fluttered and he found yours. He was suddenly awake and glancing around.

"Oh, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to nod off like that," he sighed, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand. "What did you want to talk about, love?"

"Nothing, it's alright. Go back to sleep," you smiled, reaching over to pat the top of his hand.

"No, you wanted to talk, let's—"

"Really, Theo, go to sleep."

The older looked unsure but also incredibly tired. He sighed and leant his head back against his pillow. He seemed to be physically fighting sleep, trying his hardest to stay awake for his friend.

"Go to sleep," you whispered once again. You continued to watch as the young man drifted off again, his fingers curling around your hand, seeking subconscious comfort.

You stared at the two of your hands before slowly turning it over. You entwined your fingers with his, marvelling in how they looked together. 

"I love you, Teddy," you whispered to your sleeping love. You wondered if he was awake in the slightest and whether or not he'd heard. If he had, he said nothing.

You watched as the man's lips trembled under the weight of his dreams. You decided that you should probably go to sleep as well. You all had a big day tomorrow and you knew well enough that the man lying next to you was going to paint your dreams with gorgeous devastation.

Part 3!

[sleepyowlwrites]

writing prompts! lyrics: ordinary magic and delight edition

Paper wings and silly things we wore, paper wings and silly things we swore (Snowbird - EllaHarp)

Bounded by the gravity, of all the other dreams that I was given (In the Kitchen - Mree)

Walk out into the sultry evening, cotton breathing when the sea winds brush the hair down around your neck (Savannah - Relient K)

Remember laughing when the days were long and summer was a never ending fire (All You Are - John Mark Nelson)

Chasing all the things that are keeping us young, we won't stop running 'til we reach the sun (Woodland - The Paper Kites)

There's something 'bout the way you the city when the lights come up as the sun goes down (Nightlife - Old Daisy)

The smell of old cedar and jasmine perfume, fig trees, bottles of milk, and sewing machines (Clay & Cast Iron - Darlingside)

My hope was just in season and that's the truth of it (A La La - Jukebox the Ghost)

The accent in your voice, and all the words you use, I like the way you talk, I love you (The Drums - Tanya Davis)

Something 'bout May makes it all feel better, baby, Summerland holds what I want right now (Summerland - half•alive)

A wild world sharpens its claws, as the nightfire burns, the shadows fade, and at the blush of dawn we'll be okay (Nightfire - Juniper Vale)

Like the angels in the submarine, we'll hold water with our weighted wings (Cassiopeia - Anju)

The universe is an open door, a cosmic retreat beneath my bedroom floor (Starry Eyed - Linus from the Stars)

We were young, I used my paper telescope to show you the stars and then win your heart (Make This Leap - The Hunts)

Oh the places you'll go, with your eyes so wide, with your heart in your hand and your sword at your side (Ih the Places You'll Go - I Fight Dragons)

One time I shook hands with a pirate, he gave me a map to all his gold (Long Way Down - eleventyseven)

When the owls call the breathless moon in the blue veil of the night, the shadows of the trees appear, amidst the lantern light (The Mummers' Dance - Loreena McKennitt)

I'll send a storm to capture your heart and bring you home, oh carried on a breeze, you'll never find me gone (Storm Song - PHILDEL)

Let's stay awake and listen to the dark, before the birds, before they all wake up (Birds - Emiliana Torrini)

If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky, you can hide underneath me and come out at night (Boats & Birds - Gregory and the Hawk)

Give me the song inside your soul, give me the words to sing along (Hold Us Together - WILD)

I was there when the rain tapped the way down your face, you were a miracle, I was just holding your space (Big Black Car - Gregory Alan Isakov)

'Til the stars all fall down, they empty from the sky, but I don't mind, if you're with me, everything's alright (Everything's Alright - Laura Shigihara)

We're far from home, will you come to me, oh weary soul, we can make it through it (Untitled - The Lighthouse and the Whaler)

The darker the night, the brighter the stars ( Sweeter the Heart - Julian Moon)

[uselesslilium]

[listen on Youtube] [listen on Spotify]

A mix I started like, over two years ago, and only just now have finally completed. :') I may finally know peace.

Track list and lyric samples under the cut:

1. Like the Dawn - The Oh Hellos I was sleeping in the garden When I saw you first He'd put me deep Deep under so that he could work And like the dawn You broke the dark and my whole earth shook

2. Garden Boy - Boy Blue And you've got a face like an ocean So blue, like a fountain pure The last time there were this many flowers in one place It was Eden

3. Big Black Car - Gregory Alan Isakov You were a phonograph, I was a kid I sat with an ear close, just listening I was there when the rain tapped her way down you face You were a miracle, I was just holding your space

4. Parachute - Ingrid Michaelson Won't tell anybody that you turn the world around I won't tell anyone that your voice is my favorite sound I won't tell anybody, won't tell anybody They wanna see us fall, they wanna see us fall down I don't need a parachute, baby, if I've got you Baby, if I've got you, I don't need a parachute You're gonna catch me, you're gonna catch if I fall

5. Rewrite the Stars - Greatest Showman It's up to you And it's up to me No one can say what we get to be So why don't we rewrite the stars? Changing the world to be ours

6. What I’m Trying to Say - Stars I am trying to say What I want to say Without having to say, "I love you"

7. Friends With You - the scary joke Here's to you and me And the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see The end result of my own reckless impulsivity Could you spare a sec to talk to me?

8. Are You Hurting the One You Love - Florence and the Machine Are you hurting the one you love? Bite your tongue until it tastes like blood Are you hurting the one you love? So many glasses on the tabletop Are you hurting the one you love? You'd like to stay in heaven but the rules are too tough

9. The Knife - Lauren Aquilina Thank you for the knife The knife in my back Almost took my life Now it's in my hand And I'll use it like you used me Cut you off and feel no cruelty 'bout that

10. Hurts Like Hell - Fleurie I don't want them to know the secrets I don't want them to know the way I loved you I don't think they'd understand it, no I don't think they would accept me, no I loved and I loved and I lost you And it hurts like hell

11. Francis Forever - Mitski On sunny days I go out walking I end up on a tree-lined street I look up at the gaps of sunlight I miss you more than anything I don't need the world to see That I've been the best I can be, but I don't think I could stand to be Where you don't see me

12. All the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands - Sufjan Stevens And I am throwing all my thoughts away And I'm destroying every bet I've made And I am joining all my thoughts to you And I'm preparing every part for you

13. This is Love - Air Traffic Control It's pathetic, I know A jealous fool who won't let go If I was sorry for my actions Would I ever stoop so low? Got no reason to live And I've got nothing left to give you But my love, love, fuck it, this is love

14. Oleander - Mother Mother You stood beside Me when I Was out of my mind I broke the glass And you were there To sweep it aside And if you leave me Rest assured, it would kill me

15. Hardest of Hearts - Florence and the Machine There is love in your body but you can't hold it in It pours from your eyes and spills from your skin Tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks And the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts There is love in your body but you can't get it out It gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth Sticks to your tongue and shows on your face That the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste

16. Oceanographer’s Choice - The Mountain Goats Thought I'd finally beat the feeling back It all came back today And then we fell down And we locked arms We knocked the dresser over as we rolled across the floor I don't mean it when I tell you That I don't love you anymore

17. Everything I Love is Broken - The Airborne Toxic Event Isn't it strange how the seasons just pass? While you're lost in the farce of the past And you always said you were so tough Then you fell and I watched you give up But you were lonely too You were lonely too

18. I, Carrion (Icarian) - Hozier Once I had wondered What was holding up the ground I can see that all along, love It was you all the way down

19. I See You - Phoebe Bridgers I've been playing dead My whole life And I get this feeling Whenever I feel good It'll be the last time But I feel something When I see you now I feel something When I see you

20. Sick of Losing Soulmates - dodie What the hell would I be without you? Brave face, talk so lightly, hide the truth  'Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates So where do we begin? I can finally see you're as fucked up as me So how do we win?

21. Francesca - Hozier I would not change it each time Heaven is not fit to house a love Like you and I

22. Everything Stays - Olivia Olsen Let's go in the garden You'll find something waiting Right there where you left it lying upside down When you finally find it, you'll see how it's faded The underside is lighter when you turn it around Everything stays right where you left it

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of January 2024

[last month]

Yeah, winter officially hit this month. Half of December was too Finals to be winter, and the other half was me reflecting on the year in music (so lots of 2023's most hard-hitting songs, which weren't exactly cozy winter music!). But in January, the snowy-gray-won't-leave-the-house mood actually hit--and I think it shows in this list (prepare yourself for LOTS of gloomy folk)! There were so many exciting releases this month, though, even though I couldn't muster up all that much energy about them--I'm really excited to see how the Sleater-Kinney, G-IDLE & Andrea Santiago albums will age!

1 . Boy's a liar Pt.2 -- PinkPantheress, Ice Spice

Yeah I sooooo get it now!! Like I don't fully get the lyrics, but it's so charming that I don't care! It's peak girl-next-door sweetness :)

2. BDH - Acústica Versión -- Bely Basarte

The first time I heard this, I wrote down: "Now THIS is how you do layered harmonies, cowards." I stand by my assessment—this is proof that acoustic tracks aren't boring, at least not when you give them a soundscape as beautiful as this one!

3. Tanta adrenalina -- Bely Basarte

This reminds me of the summer I was obsessed with Chung Ha's "California Dream"—even in January, I need some light, fluffy house in my life! (And yes, you can see that my Bely Basarte phase has kept going strong from last month!!)

4. Big Black Car -- Gregory Alan Isakov

I am a sad boy <3 (HOPE WAS A LETTER I NEVER COULD SEND !!!!)

5. Lost On You -- LP

I've been watching Loudermilk this month, and when I heard this song in the end credits of an episode, I instantly went to find it online. It's so wonderfully desolate, especially with those vocals... and the soft jingling of the guitar... *happy arm wave*

6. Southern Star -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Can’t stop singing this one—the melody is pure magic!

7. When the Party's Over -- Faux Paz

I like the original version better, but I'll never get tired of Faux Paz, either!

8. Ungrateful -- Megan Thee Stallion, Key Glock

Saw @shyreol post about this, and I'm so glad I decided to check it out (thank you for sharing)!! I'm absolutely obsessed with the hook—instant comfort song!

9. The Healing Game -- Van Morrison

Loudermilk part 2. This one hasn't even been played in the show yet, as far as I know, it just gets quoted by one of the characters—and deservingly, because these lyrics hit HARD. (And now I can cross 'liking a new Van Morrison song' off my music bucket list for the year—thanks, Loudermilk!)

10. Lalalala -- Stray Kids

This one has lost most of its appeal after a few weeks of listening, but it was very good noise to keep me sensory-happy during some rough weeks (and that ‘lalalalala’ hook is still great)! We'll see how it ages, I guess!

11. The Fall -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Speaking of Stray Kids, Isakov's lower register in this song is GLORIOUS.

12. Soldier, Poet, King -- The Oh Hellos

Believe it or not, I hadn’t heard of this one before December! It’s so good tho :)

13. What's Love -- Empress Of, MUNA

This sounds like the best parts of nighttime—it’s a little more muted than most synthpop these days, but it manages to stand out with just how ethereal it is! The production really just gets more beautiful with every listen—okay, maybe I just have a thing for vocoders…

14. La isla de Lesbos -- Javiera Mena

I don't really remember listening to this one in the past month? But I'm not mad about it being here—it's a classic in my book, because I can never say no to sparkly house music!

15. Smiley -- Yena, Bibi

An instant shot of energy, every time!! So glad I finally added Yena to my stan list, her music soooo deserves it!

Five-Star Songs This Month:

Ungrateful -- Megan Thee Stallion, Key Glock

Hell -- Sleater-Kinney (i mentioned how excited i was about this album right?? i love the texture of this song i love how it go grrrrr i love the line “hell is just a place that / we can’t seem to live without” !! i have a very good feeling about this one helping me get through the year SCREEEEEE)

BDH - Acústica Versión — Bely Basarte

Certainty -- Big Thief (this is what love is to me btw like i realized this month that i don’t think any other song has captured it better so here we are) (YOU LAY BESIDE ME / SLEEPING ON A PLANE / IN THE FUUUUUTUREEEEEEEE)

Was I Just Another One -- Gregory Alan Isakov (i listened to this allll the time in 2020, but i ended up developing a new appreciation for its atmosphere this month like good god i’m in awe GLOOMY FOLK GLOOMY FOLK IT IS A WASTELAND IT IS IMMACULATE EEEEEE !!)

[medium-guy]

@darknessontheedgeoftowndyke tagged me in this music interview ask game.

RULES: Put your playlist on shuffle. For each of the 10 interview questions, select a lyric from the random song that comes up. (Skip if there aren’t any lyrics and make sure to drop the name of the song in your interview answer!)

1. How would you describe your life in one sentence?

" I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life" Time to Pretend by MGMT

2. what kind of (Capricorn) are you?

" I need to be youthfulness felt, cuz, God, I never felt young" Jackie and Wilson by Hozier

3. You’re visiting your favourite spot, what are you thinking about? "A year from now, we'll all be gone, our friends will move away. And they're goin' to better places, but our friends will be gone away" Rivers and Roads by The Head and the Heart

4. If your life was a movie, what do you think the first review would say about it? "There's an art to life's distractions

To somehow escape the burning weight, the art of scraping through"

Someone New By Hozier

5. What would you title your memoir?

"Were you safe and warm in your coat of arms?" Angela by the lumineers

6. What would you say about your best friends? "you were a miracle, I was just holding your space" Big Black Car by Gregory Alan Isakov

7. What was your life motto as a teenager?

" it's just a little white lie" White lie by the Lumineers

8. Describe your aesthetic now

"take me out tonight, where there's people and there's music and they're young and alive" There Is a Light That Never Goes Out by the smiths

9. What lyric will they quote in your eulogy?

" It's time to leave those feelings behind, oh, cuz, blue skies are coming but I know that it's hard." Blue Skies by Noah and the Whale

10. Say you believe in soulmates, what do you think their first impression of you will be? "smoking cigarettes on the roof, you look so pretty and I love this view" We Fell in Love in October by girl in red

I'm tagging @starlitcanvas @dropsintheriver and @gaywizrd

[georgiaswarr]

lister bird - part 1 (part 2)

this is me trying - taylor swift

“they told me all of my cages were mental / so i got wasted like all my potential” starting this playlist off with a song that i feel definitely will come to describe lister’s mental state, especially during iana - he’s fallen behind, he’s dependent on partying and drinking, but at least he’s trying to get better

still learning - halsey

this song incorporates a fuckton of lister’s struggles - the pressures of fame, trauma, dealing with past mistakes, of course self-loathing, and much more

timebomb - finish ticket

and another self-deprecating tune !!! this one in particular addresses the connection between drinking/alcoholism and feeling like a fuck-up

the key to life on earth - declan mckenna

i could probably go into great depths to explain how exactly this is a lister song but suffice it to say, lister grew up poor and we mustn’t forget that. “holy smokes / you kids and your jokes / asking where we got our jeans / and where the hell we found our coats” reminds me a lot of meeting lister, him getting into fights and being “held back for after-school meetings”, etc.

new age meds - the wldlfe

“self-deprecation; / a new age medication / and you might need some therapy if / you're gonna live your life suffocating / someone who you're supposed to be” here we have the theme of self-hate again, used in connection with drugs and addiction, too, which is very lister

are you satisfied? - marina

another song highjacked from @kindaorangey, they did a better job than i ever could explaining it here

knock me off my feet - soak

“saturday night on the highest wall / settin' 'em off, all 50 fireworks / kickin' the cannons, we watch them fall / it doesn't exist, the law” lister starts living the high, indulgent life once he gets rich, which is a stark contrast from how he grew up. in the end, though, he still has people he can call his home.

narcissist - no rome

“stayin' late, i just wanna get stoned / telling all your friends that I'm never at home / and my face filling up with blood / but you're still the same living like a bourgeois” highjacked from alice’s 5 playlist, another song about partying and the like but also being painfully aware of your own flaws

big black car - gregory alan isakov

a song about feeling inadequate and worthless compared to another person, which is how lister feels about himself compared to jimmy and rowan

eventually, darling - declan mckenna

abandonment issues, lost hope, impostor syndrome, disillusionment and an almost nihilistic view on a relationship - this song has it all. i personally associate it with bicci and lister reassuring both jimmy and himself that it’s okay if he doesn’t like him back - after all, “everyone leaves eventually, darling”

swimming pools - lxandra

lister grew up poor and we mustn’t forget that part 2 - this is another flashback to his childhood, while simultaneously showing the stark contrast to his current life - i like to interpret the line “still the kids who don't have swimming pools / in their 40-million-square-feet mansions, ooh” in a “yeah, he’s rich, but he still came from almost no money and this has had a profound effect on him” way

mind - declan mckenna

according to declan mckenna himself, this song “makes me think of my friend matty’s party i went to on halloween 2015 after playing a show […] the song lyrically and artiscally kind of reflects the confused mess of my 16 year old self”. this is something lister can probably relate to, feeling emotional turmoil and an incoming existential crisis while partying

joan of arc on the dance floor - aly & aj

“at the stake, we don't fight the flames / are you born in vain if you die a savior?” first of all, joan of FUCKING arc metaphors, second of all the death motif and lister’s “die young” mentality, third of all another dark party song which is how this applies to lister in particular

why do you feel so down - declan mckenna

listerowan song !!! “i think you're one of a kind so i'll never like myself / i think you're older and wiser so i won't let you tell / i think it over and over and hope you're thinking too / i think it over and over and hope i'm over you” because angst

know me - the band camino

and yet another angsty listerowan song, gosh i’m really making myself emo over here

18 forever - maris

a) such a bisexual anthem, b) a song about partying and feeling forever young

house party no. 1 - blossom caldarone

“you want to grow up too fast / it's a race to see who is left last / from lemons to liquor to loving each figure / you're constantly wired up the wrong way / you'll be dead in a year if i wait one more day”. this is how jimmy and rowan see lister, as a party-obsessed “rebel without a cause”

sedated - hozier

a song about addiction and self-destruction. i could probably go through every line of it but imma keep it short and just trust all of you to understand the sheer levels and poetry of sedated by hozier as a lister song

shadows - ruth b

another song from jimmy and rowan’s perspective - they see that lister indulges in a lot of self-destructive behaviour, smoking, drinking, having sex, etc. in the first part of iwbft, they notice all of that in an almost accusatory way, which to me feels like the tone of this song - “kiss yourself another stranger / ‘cause you know you love the danger, don't you? / give yourself to someone new every night, is what you do” for example is them thinking he sleeps with everyone with a pulse

burning incense - skott

i talk about lister and his relationship to religion in greater depth in part 2 with preacher man but i think that theme appears in this song too. generally this song is very much about emotional turmoil, feeling unloved and distant from your friends, and feeling worthless, so very much a lister song

those nights - bastille

theme of loneliness and finding comfort in strangers (which i know lister doesn’t really do anymore but still)

sunday morning - matoma

“i probably shouldn't say this / should keep it all inside / but maybe i'm just wasted / enough to speak my mind” bicci bathroom confession??? anyone????

love like ghosts - lord huron

another beautiful bicci song about unrequited love and feeling so incredibly strongly for someone that it feels beyond the realm of the living - that’s also where the theme of death in iwbft comes in, which lister grapples with in particular

high hopes - kodaline

this song makes me think of the confession scene too - lister realising jimmy maybe doesn’t like him back, losing hope and all that, and deciding he needs to move on

mirrorball - taylor swift

theme of personas - lister has the Lister Bird persona which is there to entertain people, to make himself appear fun, aloof, approachable, almost like a clown, even though that isn’t who he actually is deep inside

much like myself - emma jayne

and another song about appearing happy on the outside despite the fact that you don’t feel much like yourself

[princessconsuelapark]

my ultimate Sam and Dean are soulmates playlist | 61 songs, 3 hr 59 min

I started putting this together over my summer SPN re-watch, and I thought I'd share it with you all, so we can all cry over our Wincest feels together. It has all the usual cliché songs, and some of my own favourites. (Very country-heavy, so if that's not your thing proceed with caution.) I'm a writer, so lyrics are very important to me - I linked them for every song. All songs are individually YouTube linked, alternatively you can find the Spotify version above. I included some comments and explanations for all my choices, as well as quotes from the show. Happy listening! | Last updated: 18 November 2020

Carry On My Wayward Son by Supernatural: The Musical Cast // lyrics // Cliché and all that, but a good place to start.

Somewhere Only We Know by Lily Allen // lyrics // Even as children - as tumultuous and layered their relationship has always been - it was just the two of them, alone, in their own little world. I Found by Amber Run // lyrics // I found love where it wasn't supposed to be.

Fade Into You by Mazzy Star // lyrics // Unhealthily codependent Weecest vibes.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys // lyrics // Secrets I have held in my heart / Are harder to hide than I thought. Something's Gotta Give by Christian Kane // lyrics // Wanting to get out of town as a metaphor for Dean wanting to act on his feelings for Sam? Yes, please. Christian Kane being a country god? Absolutely. The fact that this man was actually on SPN as Dean’s freaking love interest, and Jensen and him got to sing together still makes me the happiest person on this planet.

Don't You Wanna Fall by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // So, I love the lines Fall down here where an angel should know better than / To walk around this world with me, because god, Dean so often thinks he belongs in Hell, and is terrified of forcing his little brother into anything he doesn’t want. But still, he can’t stop himself: Don’t you wanna fall? (Shoutout to any Destiel shippers out there, because what a perfect song for you guys too, wow.) Thinking of You by Christian Kane // lyrics // Dean, just before Sam leaves for Stanford. (Link is for the Leverage version, because I love that show, and because Eliot Spencer is an angel. Funnily enough, Alona Tal was actually in that very episode, and did actually sing this song - you can find that here.) Hold On by Limp Bizkit // lyrics // I'm waiting for you, I know you're leaving / I'll still adore you, you never need me. LOST BOY by Troye Sivan // lyrics // Thinking about little Sammy’s stolen college admissions guide. Arms of a Stranger by Niall Horan // lyrics // Some jealous!Dean, while Sam is at Stanford angst.

Walking Away by Lifehouse // lyrics // Silence is all we have to give / And the memories of a life I wish we'd lived.

San Francisco by Niall Horan // lyrics // Listen, it’s a song about pining and not being able to let go and love in San Francisco. I mean, where do you expect my mind to go? Stanford Wincest all the way. How Did You Know? by Jedward // lyrics // I don’t wanna hear a bad word about Jedward, they are good lads. It’s a cheesy song, but hey, I love it. Sam comes back. Well, here I am / I couldn't stay gone. Drive by Halsey // lyrics // All we do is drive / All we do is think about the feelings that we hide. And the California never felt like home to me line! So perfect. "We made a hell of a team back there." (01x01 Pilot) Belong by X Ambassadors // lyrics // This is where Sam belongs, really. Riding shotgun, in his brother’s car, on the open road. Link is a fanvid that makes me feel things. Go and watch it, because it’s everything.

You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol // lyrics // “Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.” (01x11 Scarecrow) Do the things that you always wanted to / Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do.

Big Black Car by Gregory Alan Isakov // lyrics // "Who was that?" "My brother." "What did he say?" "Goodbye." That soft, disbelieving, confused look on Sam's face when Dean tells him he's proud of him. When it turns out Dean loves him enough to let him go. It should make him feel happy and free, it should make him loathe his childhood, defiance should fill him to the brim. Instead it makes him run straight back to Dean. (01x11 Scarecrow) Hey Brother by Avicii // lyrics // Faith. (01x12) Link is a fanvid, because reasons. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you / There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. Sober Me Up by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // Sam always seems to make the world all fall into place. (Sort of 02x03 Bloodlust vibes?) But baby when you kiss me all the demons seem to disappear.

Always Gold by Radical Face // lyrics // “Killing this demon comes first, before me, before everything.” “No, sir. Not before everything.” (02x07 The Usual Suspects) And they said you were the crooked kind / And that you'd never have no worth / But you were always gold to me. Sold My Soul by Zakk Wylde // lyrics // Bit on the nose, but my god, how fucking real. (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Let Me Sign by Kirk Matthews // lyrics // "Well, then let it end!" & "I'm gonna take care of you." (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon // lyrics // “I mean, you sacrifice everything for me.  Don’t you think I’d do the same for you? You’re my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Say Something by A Great Big World // lyrics // "I just wish you'd drop the show and be my brother again. Cause... just cause." (03x07 Fresh Blood) Take Me To Church by Hozier // lyrics // “This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? […] Dean’s your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too.” (03x11 Mystery Spot) Outlaws of Love by Adam Lambert // lyrics // "You're my weak spot. And I'm yours." (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun / Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run / They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will / They've branded us enough, "Outlaws of Love". Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi // lyrics // Well, I had to include this one, for obvious reasons. (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) In Other Words by Ben Kweller // lyrics // Dean's going to Hell. Sam's not okay. In his eyes I see the fear. Real With Me by Cady Groves // lyrics // Dean is not dealing well with remembering Hell. Sam is upset that he's not opening up. And it was never about what you were not / But I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars // lyrics // None of it matters. Leaving for Stanford, choosing Ruby, the demon blood, that he’s Hell’s chosen. Dean will always come for his brother, no matter what.   Stay by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam leaves. It's fucked up. "Hey, you, uh... wanna take the Impala?" Dean doesn’t trust him, not like he used to, but he would say anything to make him stay. (05x02 Good God, Y’all) Hotel Room by Calum Scott // lyrics // They die in a motel room. They find out they share a Heaven. Sam can't find the words to explain. He wishes Dean would just give him time. (05x04 The End) So I kind of wrote a ficlet about this...? Read it if you fancy. Here Tonight by Brett Young // lyrics // The Wincestiest Wincest song to ever Wincest. The lyrics! Sometimes they can just take a minute to sit on the hood of the Impala and watch the stars, Apocalypse be damned.

I Hold On by Dierks Bentley // lyrics // “Sam, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you.” (05x22 Swan Song) Dean believes in his brother, and I’m a sucker for pick-up truck metaphors Lifeboats by Snow Patrol // lyrics // The look on Dean's face when he hugs Sam, when he realises that Sam's back, that he's alive. (06x01 Exile on Main St.) Potentially also some Purgatory vibes. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones // lyrics // The moment Sam turned up on his doorstep, there was no question he'd choose him. Choose him over Lisa and Ben. Choose him over everyone. “But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.” (06x06 You Can’t Handle The Truth) Heavydirtysoul by twenty one pilots // lyrics // “Pick one... Sam’s soul or Adam’s.” “Sam.” (06x11 Appointment in Samarra)

H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Oh, this song. A bit of religious irony and whatnot, but my god. The lyrics are everything. You're the healing hands where it used to hurt immediately makes me think of how Dean helped Sam turn the pain from his scar on his palm into “stone number one, and build on it”. (07x02 Hello, Cruel World) I mean, Sam can't even tell what's real anymore, but he trusts his brother. Blindly and with everything he has, because that's who he is. But then there’s also Dean making his promise in the church, and Sam choosing him over dying in 09x01 (I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here). God. Just. I love this song for Sam and Dean.

Through The Dark by One Direction // lyrics // "We'll figure it out, okay? Just like we always do." (08x23 Sacrifice) Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park // lyrics // Sam is okay with sacrificing himself. He is ready to die. When my time comes / Forget the wrong that I've done. Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance // lyrics // “There is nothing, past or present, that I would put in front of you... I need you to see that." (08x23 Sacrifice) Okay, but look at the lyrics, and try and convince me this song is not about Sam and Dean. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // "You wanna know what I confessed in there?" (08x23 Sacrifice) TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan // lyrics // The look in Sam’s eyes changes, his face falls. "How do I stop?" He chooses Dean like he always does. (08x23 Sacrifice) Brother by Kodaline // lyrics // “Come on. You and Dean? That’s something special, don’t you think?” (09x08 Rock and a Hard Place) Link is a gorgeous fanvid, go watch it and cry. Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons // lyrics // Dean really messed up this time. Gadreel fall out stuff. Sam breaks up with him in a motel car park in Wisconsin. (09x12 Sharp Teeth)

better off by Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler // lyrics // "Something's broken here, Dean." (09x12 Sharp Teeth) & "No, Dean, I wouldn't." (09x13 The Purge)

I Can't Go On Without You by KALEO // lyrics // Sam taking Dean’s body home, laying him on his bed, drinking by himself in the dark. (09x23 Do You Believe in Miracles) I Won't Give Up by Noah Guthrie // lyrics // "I am going to save my brother." (10x01 Black) Sam never gives up on Dean. Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE ft. Gavin DeGraw // lyrics // “I never even said thank you, so…” “You don’t ever have to say that, not to me.” (10x04 Paper Moon) Link is another beautiful fanvid, because I can’t help myself. Sittin' Pretty by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam's sunshine and he’s endless planes of warm skin, soft long hair, and sometimes Dean looks at him. Really looks at him. (No, okay, but the Chevy line really made it for me.) Blood Brothers by Luke Bryan // lyrics // "I don’t need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother.” and "The two of us against the world!” "What she said.” (10x05 Fan Fiction) I don’t know, country songs just make me think of Sam and Dean, okay.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Daniela Andrade // lyrics // “This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t…” (10x18 Book of the Damned)

Golden by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // Dean is so so broken. “No, there is no other way, Sam. I’m sorry.” (10x23 Brother’s Keeper)

Church by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // This whole song screams Sam and Dean to me, and initially I thought of Sam’s Wall breaking down, but then I got stuck on the lines And if death is the last appointment / Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room / I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom and that’s so clearly Dean killing Death, unable to murder his little brother in the end, because his devotion to Sam runs too deep. (10x23 Brother’s Keeper) In which the SPN writers and Pete Wentz really should get together and discuss over-the-top religious imagery. You are doomed but just enough. Right Back Home by Lifehouse // lyrics // “We are home.“ (11x04 Baby) Be There by Seafret // lyrics // "Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead." (11x17 Red Meat)  You're my way out / You're my way through / And I can't, I can't / Be without you.

Only the Brave by Louis Tomlinson // lyrics // “I need him, he needs me.“ (11x23 Alpha and Omega) With or Without You by U2 // lyrics // The absolute poetic tragedy of 12x09 (First Blood). The way they don’t even have time to really look at each other after six weeks apart, that they are both ready to die for each other without a moment of hesitation.

I Won't Mind by ZAYN // lyrics // “I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are. Because our lives? They're ours and maybe I'm too damn old to want to change that.” (14x13 Lebanon)

Fine Line by Harry Styles // lyrics // "Just us.” (15x19 Inherit the Earth)

[thefigureinthecorner]

sam playlist cover is done!

full disclosure i 100% make these covers so i have a good excuse to yell about my favorite songs on my art blog

also fun fact that is exactly how my cat sits and it’s great. v snuggly. 10/10 would recommend my cat, and also darwin, who has no canon appearance or snuggle habits but like his purring is adorable so

notes under the cut!

cats and dogs- the head and the heart: idk that this song fits perfectly, but the ending definitely does, i think: My roots are grown but I don't know where they are/Cats and dogs and rooster calls/Telephones and payphone stalls/They take away/The lonely days/For now

the ship in port- radical face: i genuinely don’t know how to choose one section from this song, because it really just. follows her whole arc, i think? but like.

But I have always stayed in place Under that old illusion that it's safe He said "The ship in port is the safer one But it's not the reason it was made" So forgive me if I wander off And forgive me more if I just stay Sing another song for the lost ones We're the ones who need it the most

colorblind- natalie walker: i know the original version is on frank’s playlist, but this song definitely gives me some sam vibes too, especially this cover of it. i think it kind of fits into that way that sam and frank understand each other? i don’t really know, but the song just. works

little house- the fray: this song definitely has a pre-canon sam vibe, maybe leading into her first episodes, where she’s finally opening up about her ability and talking through her trauma that she’s been shoving down for so long.

A part of you that'll never show You're the only one that'll ever know Take it back when it all began Take your time, would you understand What it's all about?

Something scratching its way out Something you want to forget about No one expects you to get up All on your own with no one around

she’s the prettiest girl at the party, and she can prove it with a solid right hook- frank iero: i was drawn to this as a sam song because of the title, 100%, but also? the lyrics fit, which is just a super fun coincidence. there’s a little bit of mark in here too, i think, but not enough that i put it on my ship playlist for them (which exists and i’m v proud of it and i will share it soon)

You say you never wanna be saved Well that's okay cause I wouldn't know how Just know that the best that I'll ever be Is whatever you make me and wherever you are

save me- gotye: And you gave me love/When I could not love myself/And you made me turn/From the way I saw myself/And you're patient, love/And you help me help myself/And you save me/And you save me/Yeah you save me

to build a home- the cinematic orchestra: i took this off lauren’s playlist because i listened to it and just. yeah

the winter day declining- this patch of sky: this one has no lyrics, which is rare for a character playlist for me, but it just. has An Emotion to it. i can’t fully pinpoint the emotion but it feels like a Sam Emotion. also it was a really good follow-up tonally to ‘to build a home’ so that’s a bonus

diamond shovel- ramona falls: y’know, i can’t actually explain why this song fits sam. it just does. i guess there are some lyrics that kind of push it towards being a sam song for me, like Just then our eyes will adjust/To no light/As long as our canary sings/We'll be safe/So let's be on our way, but honestly? i think it might mostly be a tonal thing. i have no clue. but it’s here.

keep breathing- ingrid michaelson: i just really like this as a sam song, honestly. most of the song is the same line repeated, but that’s fine because it’s kind of a reminder for sam.

I want to change the world, instead I sleep. I want to believe in more than you and me. But all that I know is I'm breathing. All I can do is keep breathing. All we can do is keep breathing

big black car- gregory alan isakov: i have no clue why i thought this was on a tbs playlist already but it’s. not on any of them? anyway, this fits in a few ways, and i love the “plain jane” parts at the end because of that part in her second session where she goes on this long ramble about time traveling to new york and then follows up by saying her life is pretty mundane, but also:

Well time has a way of throwing it all in your face The past, she is haunted, the future is laced Heartbreak, you know, drives a big black car Swear I was in the back seat, just minding my own

[spacehologramcollection]

Kombat Krew Marriage ceremony headcanons;

Part two of the proposing to their S/O, so the actual ceremony and all that jazz. So, this was very long, so I’m going to do a part 2 with the rest from the original post, and add some of the Kombat ladies in there. There’s more under the cut, it was just very long! Kano is in here, but its just a shit post. Enjoy! GIFS do not belong to me, I did not make them, they belong to their creators. 

Johnny Cage;

·         Depending on how old he is, will depend on what type of wedding you get. If its post- Cassie and he’s more mature; he’ll want something a little smaller, but just as lavish. If he’s not mature and he’s younger, expect something wild, large and full of paparazzi.

·         He’d want everything to be over the top, expensive and lavish at all times.

·         You can have whatever you want for the big day. Money is of no object.

·         Your dress/suit is the most expensive thing known to man, there is no limit on it.

·         Cassie is going to be your Maid of Honour, she’s been waiting for an opportunity like this. She’ll actually calm her dad down, she knows what you like and what you want, so she’ll steer her dad in that direction.

·         In his wilder days, he’d want something expensive for the venue. He would try and hire out something stupid, like the top of the Empire States building, or the Eiffel Tower.

·         In his mature days, he’d want something like a beach wedding; far away, in a warm place, with very few paparazzi… he can upload the photos to his social media when he wants.

·         He looks fly in his suit, promises in his vows this will be the last time he does this.

·         Jax and Kenshi are his two Best men. All of them looking fly as fuck in their suits. All with matching ties.

·         He would ask Sub- Zero and Scorpion to provide the entertainment, they declined, even after the promise of cake and food. With Sub Zero stating that Johnny is entertainment enough.

·         The fucking ring is obnoxious either way.

·         First Dance song; Thinking out Loud- Ed Sheeran, the full routine, you’ve both taken Dancing Lessons. You’re about to show everyone the fuck up.  https://open.spotify.com/track/34gCuhDGsG4bRPIf9bb02f

 Kabal;

·         He’s a laid-back guy, so once you say yes to the proposal, it’s up to you what you want.

·         There is a ‘We’ in Wedding, so he will have some input, but he wants you to have the best day ever.

·         Whatever his Princess/Prince wants, you will get. He’s actually really excited and wants most things to be kept under wraps. He wants to be surprised on the day.

·         He does want input on the cake, god he wants input on that. He has a sweet tooth, so its only natural he wants to help decide that.

·         He’ll help send the invitations, opts to put a fuck ton of glitter on them, why? Because he kind of wants them to be forever reminded of your day. Glitter gets everywhere and stays for a life time, says it’s a metaphor for your relationship.

·         His Pre and Post burn ideas will change.

·         Pre-Burn, he’d want something mid-sized, but isn’t against somewhere public. He won’t do it at the Black Dragon Fight Club. Kano suggested it, along with suggesting Officiating it. Kabal struck him off the Guest List. He’d want something like a fancy hotel. Of course, you’re both staying over the day before and the night of it.

·         Post-Burn, he wants something small, the guest list is very limited. He feels like a monster every other day of the year; his wedding day doesn’t change his own self-appreciation. For his Post-Burn venue, he’d want maybe a small, secluded alcove, somewhere without a lot of people.

·         Imagine him in a tux with a bowtie. Oh god I died.

·         His worries melt away when he sees you in your dress/suit. He doesn’t feel like a tit in a suit, he feels like the luckiest man in the world. He forgets that there are others in the room. He just focuses on you and how perfect you are.

·         He thinks you’re perfect. (To be fair Riptide by Vance Joy would probably be playing as you walk down the Aisle, because of the lyric “I swear she’s destined for the screen, closest thing to Michelle Phiefer that you’ve ever seen” I headcanon he’s a sucker for some Indie music, so… Don’t @me)

·         He’d prepare his own vows Post-Burn as well. And would tear up a little.

·         His Best man situation would depend on which route he took, if he went straight, it would be Stryker. If not, it would be Erron. Him and Erron always had a friendly rivalry.

·         The rings are actually pretty simple, not overly-gawdy, and it fits perfectly.

· Kabal has two potential first dance songs for his Pre-Burn; 

·         First one is Ophelia - The Lumineers  https://open.spotify.com/track/5NORWMFC27ywGSZxi8uquP       The second Pre-Burn one is; San Luis- Gregory Alan Isakov. https://open.spotify.com/track/7gDNQLV9cr8449LFrQbk5J

·         First Dance song Post-Burn; Big Black Car- Gregory Alan Isakov. https://open.spotify.com/track/3Kj2EWpIBnvETsYq4cq0IH

 Erron Black;

·         He’s really into planning it. It gives you both a chance to get closer. He never thought he’d get married, so he’s totally down for being involved in it.

·         He won’t wear a suit as expected, more like one of his uniform skins from 11. Suits and Tux’s ain’t his thing.

·         He’ll want to have a proper Country Wedding. It’s what feels familiar. Or, he’d maybe consider getting married in Outworld. Kotal officiating of course.

·         But a Barn, some mason jars, and some very strong booze. Is his go to.

·         BBQ style wedding breakfast. That’s the only thing he’s dead set on.

·         Also, he’d want a band playing, live music. There better be some country on there. Or he will raise hell.

·         Hope you can stand the fucking banjo.

·         He’ll let you do whatever you want with your Wedding Party and all of that. Your dress/suit is your choice, but he’s going to pay for it.

·         Depending on where he is in his life, will depend on who’s there/ his Best Man/men.

·         If he’s in Outworld, Kotal is officiating and he’s got no other choice, but to have Ermac as his Best Man. Which is the equivalent of having 10,000 best men. ‘We are so happy for you Erron Black’

·         In his Black Dragon Days, Kabal is his Best Man. They may fight, argue and sometimes hate each other. But they are friends deep, deep, deep down. He’s better than Kano.

·         He actually scrubs up pretty nice. You’re surprised on your big day to see what he looks like without the poncho, bandana and layer of grime. It’s not something you’d always want him to be like.

·         He’s speechless when he sees you. You’re sure if he were wearing his hat, he’d tip it in surprise. But you can tell by the way his eyes light up, he’s loving how amazing you look. He commits it to memory and mouths how lucky he is.

·         The rings are ornate, they’ve got each other’s initials in them.

·         First Dance; Bless The Broken Road- Rascal Flatts https://open.spotify.com/track/0gKo3I4FCEY40X37Gdkcaf

I really struggled with his, because country music is not my jam, but I felt this would fit. Either that or some Johnny Cash.

 Sub Zero (Kuai Liang);

·         He feels terrible, but the Wedding Ceremony has little to no wiggle room, in some places. You’re marrying into his Clan. So, the Ceremony, Venue and Vows are pretty set.

·         Bi-Han (Going off of his 11 ending) has to Officiate, and it is tense for Kuai. “Do you, Y/N, Take Kuai, The Lesser Sub Zero, to be yours? Even, when his hotter, older brother, is stood right here.” He threatens to say that, but he opts to keep it classy for the ceremony, embarrassing for the speech.

·         His Best men are going to be Scorpion and Smoke. It’s obvious.

·         He lets you pick out your dress/suit, he would want a little bit of blue in there somewhere. Just because it’s the Lin Kuei colours. He’s not overly bothered if not. But something borrowed, something blue, just wear his headband somewhere, even if its in a covered-up place. Kill two birds with one stone.

·         He won’t get to wear a suit, he has to wear his Formal Grandmaster uniform. His tits are sort of out, bit less side-boob though. This is a wedding guys, he has to keep it classy.

·         It’s very Formal.

·         Johnny Offers his services as Entertainment, you’re not sure if he’s joking or not. So, you have to reiterate the point, that’s not happening.

·         Kuai has amazing handwriting, so he’ll handwrite all the invitations, he doesn’t trust technology which drives you up the wall. You could have an instant RSVP, but no, you gotta wait for people to basically send a fucking raven. God Dam it.

·         The Ceremony is obviously at the Lin Kuei temple. Prepare for some cold, you may need a fucking cloak rather than veil. It is freezing.

·         He wishes he could give you the wedding of your dreams, but he is a Grandmaster and it comes with certain strings. But, can you really complain when you’re getting to marry him? No.

·         He is shooketh when he sees you. He smiles a lot. He cannot believe he gets to marry you. You’re to become his spouse, his partner, the wife/husband of the Grandmaster.

·         You get a ring, he gets a ring, their both just simple bands, both have the Lin Kuei symbol engraved in the centre. Yours has a sapphire in the centre.

·         He will tie a knot in his uniform or switch his headband up. To either your favourite colour or if you have family crest, to your family crest colours. Just to reiterate the point, he’s taken and he’s yours.

·         He hasn’t prepared public vows, PDA and anything like that makes him uncomfortable. But he will tell you them during the first dance. Whispering them to you.

·         First Dance Song; (I struggled with this one, a lot as well. Hanzo, Kuai and Erron. Sort your music tastes out) I Stand By me- The Florence and the Machine version. https://open.spotify.com/track/5XSU59wtE5CRCAEyHmmGy4

·         I think it would fit your relationship with him perfectly, the right pace for a song, and the lyrics are cute as fuck. This could work for Hanzo and vice versa, his could fit Sub. God dam it, I am bad at this.

Scorpion (Hanzo Hasashi)

·         He has been married before, so he understands the process, the planning and what is expected.

·         He kind of wants this one to be different, but he knows, like Kuai, he has obligations to fulfil. It has to be traditional, but that doesn’t mean he can’t shake things up a little. I mean, he’s a little more adventurous nowadays.

·         You’ll still have to have the traditional ceremony. Which would probably take place in the Fire Gardens? (I’m not sure about this, if you guys know, please tell me)

·         He does let you choose your dress/suit and party. That part is up to yours. But you are marrying into the Shira Ryu, so, you would need to have the ceremony.

·         Takeda, Kenshi, Sub and even Johnny are clawing to be his Best Men. Sub’s not overly bothered, but on the inside, he’s like please let me have this.

·         He can’t decide, and he knows anything he says, will result in more arguments. So, he has all of them. Problem solving.

·         Like Sub Zero, he cannot wear a suit, he has to be in his finest Yellow fucking Ninja outfit. God dam it. Less tits and side boob than Sub though. So, there’s that.

·         If someone screams ‘Get over there’ when you’re walking down the aisle, they will be fucking speared. No. Don’t do it.

·         He’s lost for words watching you walk up the aisle. It’s like your redemption and his future. A second chance at happiness, his future and everything he’s ever wanted, longed and feared for.

·         He’s nervous, but he doesn’t let it show. He’s prepared the things he has to say over and over again. Practised it a lot, so why does he have a lump in his throat?

·         He flashes you a smile as you reach him, takes your hand into his and starts speaking so elegantly. Some of it will be in his native tongue, but its fine, because he’ll have prepared you for it.

·         He hand forged the rings, melted the metal himself, helped cast them and even engraved them himself. He’s proud of them, let him have his moment.

·         There both simple bands, nothing too fancy, little tiny scorpion simple on the inside though.

·         Throughout the whole day, he cannot take his eyes off of you. You’re this shining fucking light and he adores you.

·         First Dance song; (He doesn’t really have a particular music taste, so he’ll let you pick, I’m just suggesting this) Only Love- Ben Howard. https://open.spotify.com/track/2uhEKg8kIzpdvz4gyy6x8W

·         I’m suggesting this because of the lyrics mainly. It’s also got a nice and slow pace, something you can both sway to, because he cannot fucking dance. But, Kuai’s could work for him and vice versa. His could work with Kuai.

Kano;

·         Trashiest wedding ever. I’ve already said all of this but…

·         It’s so shit. Like you’re getting married at the Black Dragon Fight Club.

·         He is not wearing a suit, hell, he’s not even wearing a shirt.

·         The smoke machine broke, so he’s just got Kabal vaping.

·         Erron is telling jokes to ease the mood, it’s not easing the mood.

·         He turns up late and drunk.

·         Just say fucking no and run off with Erron or Kabal. Just fucking do it. Leave him standing at the Altar.

[yetmorememes]

this empty northern hemisphere (2009) by gregory alan isakov lyric starters some minor edits for ease of use; feel free to change pronouns, etc.

I packed up the dust of all that I owned, handkerchief hung from a pole.

I rolled out the day that the apples fell.

Here's the part where I just lose everything.

This golden love’s gone bad.

The simple notes you sang just went astray.

Everything was up and now it's coming down.

I've been long gone, couldn't you tell?

I couldn’t hide my shame.

She pulls on this heart like the moon pulls on the sea.

You came on strong like some running wave.

Your beauty left me broke and hungry.

Those brokenhearted lovers, they got nothing on me.

There ain't no sign of a dime, but hey. Anyone can dream.

There's a thin dark cloud in the evening air after every sunny day.

I’m banking on ____ to keep me calm and clear and straight.

There’s a loneliness that’s blowing.

I’m saving all my sleep for another life.

I was there when the rain tapped her way down your face.

You are a miracle, I’m just holding your space.

Time has a way of throwing it all in your face.

The past, she is haunted, the future is laced.

Heartbreak, you know, drives a big black car.

This could be all that we know of love.

The song in my head, well, was all that I had.

Hope was a letter I never could send.

Love was a country we couldn’t defend.

I’d love to just get into some of your stories.

It’s just me and all of my plain Jane glory.

Where were you when I was still kind?

Look, he's coming down.

Can you shake it up just once, for me?

Oh, you should have heard them.

Living here in this city on fire, well I've been fine.

While you are sleeping, you bet that I might walk this empty northern hemisphere wide.

And the kingdom, it came, it all fell down, it all fell to dust.

There was nothing to hold so we let it go.

We were empty, we were hollow.

I ain't wondering where you are.

Words mean more at night.

Did you ever notice the way light means more at night than it did all day long?

Light means more at night. Like your hair and your face and your smile.

I’ll send you my words from the corners of my room.

I wish I could leave my bones and my skin and float over the tired tired sea so that I could see you again.

Oh, what a shame.

This house, she’s holding secrets.

I will go if you ask me to.

If I go, I’m going on fire. Let my anger take me there.

Please let me come into your storm.

[anthonyjlockwood]

♾

Thanks, anon! 💕

The song I got was "Big Black Car" by Gregory Alan Isakov, and honestly all of his lyrics are incredible, but my favorite from that song is this one:

Hope was a letter I never could send,

Well, love was a country we couldn't defend

put a "∞" in my ask box and I'll shuffle my music player and give you my favorite lyric from the song that comes up.

[tracer]

Last May, my wife and I spent a few days camping at Mammoth Cave National Park before heading to Nashville to catch Fleet Foxes in concert at the Ryman. During one of our caving tours, a park ranger told us about another (somewhat) nearby cave in Tennessee that served as a music venue. One year later and we finally had a chance to check out that unlikely concert space – formally known as The Caverns – for a taping of the PBS program Bluegrass Underground featuring one of my absolute favorites: Gregory Alan Isakov.

A trail marker for the Mountain Goat Trail outside of the Amish Hippie. Photo by Curt Whitacre.

The Caverns venue is nestled in the valley of Pelham, which is located northwest of Chattanooga. We stayed in the nearby town of Monteagle and were delighted to discover a “rails to trails” recreational path located mere feet from our motel. Known as the Mountain Goat Trail, the path runs alongside country roads and winds through forests en route to the neighboring town of Sewanee. As a very frequent visitor to Tennessee, I wasn’t expecting to find such a pedestrian friendly feature adjacent to our motel, nor was I expecting to find vegetarian-friendly eateries along the path! On our five-mile-long morning run along the trail, we discovered Mooney’s Market and Emporium, which carries fresh produce, locally-sourced kombucha and other sundries. We picked up some kefir and kvass from Short Mountain Cultures and then grabbed lunch at the Crescent Cafe Juice Bar, a small camper situated just behind Mooney’s that serves up vegan wraps and a great cup of coffee, amongst other things. God knows how many times I’ve had to live off of nothing but slices of cheese pizza and Sub-Way “Veggie Delite” subs when traveling through the south, so Mooney’s and Crescent Cafe were a real treat!

Operating with the tagline “A little bit Bluegrass, a little bit Underground,” Bluegrass Underground is a televised showcase of bluegrass, jam band, roots, folk and Americana concerts. The PBS program has featured acts like Andrew Bird, Jason Isbell, and Old Crow Medicine for nearly a decade, so Isakov was a perfect fit for the show’s upcoming ninth season. The May 19th taping (which will apparently air in fall of 2019) included sets by Gregory Alan Isakov along with country rock institution The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and a more mainstream country outfit called Brothers Osborne. That last act didn’t sound very “bluegrass” or very “underground” to me, but it seems like most of the crowd was actually there for Brothers Osborne.

We arrived early to give ourselves time to explore the venue before the first taping began, but we were surprised to find there was already a sizable crowd tailgating in The Caverns’ parking lot. Next time, we’ll know to bring camp chairs and a cooler! After picking up our will call tickets at The Caverns’ barn HQ, we walked a short distance to the mouth of the cave, which felt very much like descending into Mammoth Cave’s Historical Entrance (complete with temperature drop). I’m not sure what I was expecting, but the cave truly was a fully functioning concert venue with concessions, modern bathrooms, merchandise tables and other amenities that you don’t normally associate with … y’know … a cave. It was all a bit surreal.

We found our seats and soon enough a production manager was on stage to explain how the taping would proceed. Videographers spent several minutes shooting audience “reaction shots” as we clapped and laughed on command. Once that footage was in the can, the performances began. The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band was up first with a great set of originals and covers, including Hank Williams’ “Honky Tonkin” and a fine take on Bob Dylans’ “You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere.”

Up next was Gregory Alan Isakov, a Colorado-based singer-songwriter who I’ve admired for sometime but never before seen live. Isakov has been making great records for a long time, but his 2016 live concert LP with the Colorado Symphony is a real standout. Isakov’s music helped soundtrack my last two summers in Colorado, including my time at Great Sand Dunes National Park, so it was only fitting that his recent music video for the song “San Luis” centered on that stunning park.

Isakov and his five-piece band played an impeccable set for Bluegrass Underground and the natural acoustics of the Caverns only enhanced the cinematic sound of songs like “Big Black Car,” “Chemicals” and – appropriately enough – “Caves.” Due to some sort of technical difficulty on the part of the PBS production team, we were treated to two complete renditions of “Time Will Tell,” with the entire band gathered around a single microphone for an absolute highlight of the set.

Photography by Curt Whitacre.

Photography by Curt Whitacre.

Photography by Curt Whitacre.

Photography by Curt Whitacre.

Photography by Curt Whitacre.

Of course, the to-be-broadcast format of this concert meant that Isakov had to stick to TV-friendly lyrics, meaning the great “Saint Valentine” was unfortunately left off of the set list. Here’s a spry rendition from 2014’s Pickathon Music Festival, which was actually my introduction to Isakov:

The morning after the concert, my wife and I made our way from southern Tennessee to eastern Kentucky to spend a few days camping at Red River Gorge in the Daniel Boone National Forest. While I’ve been making sporadic trips to RRG and Natural Bridge State Resort Park for nearly 20 years, this was only my wife’s second visit to the area. After setting up our tent at the Whittleton Campground, we made the most of our two and a half days in the park: hiking portions of the Sheltowee Trace Trail, exploring the trails around Natural Bridge and making frequent stops to the newly-renovated Miguel’s Pizza.

We got back home just in time for me to celebrate my 40th birthday. Without a doubt, it was the perfect way to cap off my 30’s and set the tune for all of the adventures to come this summer.

Gregory Alan Isakov Graces the Underground Last May, my wife and I spent a few days camping at Mammoth Cave National Park…

[findingpenumbra]

unusual asks!! 6, 10,18, 30, 36, 41, 67, 68, & 94! (ps sorry that's a lot of questions, plus a little late) :>

omg, don’t apologize!! These asks are so fun and I really appreciate that you sent me these!

6. Describe your personality in 3 words or less

strange, excitable, cryptid

10. How would you describe your style?

Comfy. I wear a lot of jeans and tshirts or sweatshirts. I always have fun socks on, though!

18. Favorite TV show?

If Netflix shows count: The Haunting of Hill House

If not, then Uhhhhh Bob’s Burgers?

30. What’s your favorite candle scent?

I fuckin love fruity smelling candles, particularly citrusy ones. One of my favorites is Bath and Body Works’ Champagne Toast

36. Favorite movie?

Agh, this question is so hard. I already sort of dodged it here, haha! But some extra movies I love: John Dies at the End & both Bill and Ted movies.

41. Top 10 favorite songs

This question is evil omg. But… I tried limiting one song per artist, and tried to include something from all the types of music I listen to…. So here they are, in no particular order:

Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles

3 a.m. by Gregory Alan Isakov

Two Slow Dancers by Mitski

Minnesota by Tiny Moving Parts

Cigarettes & Saints by The Wonder Years

One Day, Robots Will Cry by Cobra Starship

Happy by Marina

Sleep on the Floor by The Lumineers

Wounded Healer by Watsky

Belly (The Grass Stains) by Rex Orange County

67. What are your hobbies?

Writing, embroidering, reading, watching youtube, and doing a little art!

68. Can you draw?

Not well, but yes! I’ve been filling art journals for a few years now, and I design all my own embroidery pieces.

94. Favorite lyrics right now

oh, fuck. I thought some of the other questions were hard. There’s so many lyrics that have resonated with me…

Alright, alright. These were the first that came to mind: “The past, she is haunted, the future is laced./ heartbreak, ya know, drives a big black car/ swear I was in the back seat, just minding my own.” x

[inrumford]

I have always loved the beautiful simplicity of this song, both lyrically and melodically. I never tire of playing it or hearing it… and as Mike says, it is one of Paul Simons best. Though not well known it stands with any Simon song.

I hear the drizzle of the rain Like a memory it falls Soft and warm continuing Tapping on my roof and walls

And from the shelter of my mind Through the window of my eyes I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets To England where my heart lies

My mind's distracted and diffused My thoughts are many miles away They lie with you when you're asleep And kiss you when you start your day

And a song I was writing is left undone I don't know why I spend my time Writing songs I can't believe With words that tear and strain to rhyme

And so you see I have come to doubt All that I once held as true I stand alone without beliefs The only truth I know is you

And as I watch the drops of rain Weave their weary paths and die I know that I am like the rain There but for the grace of you go I

Published on Oct 30, 2016 hello everyone !

sorry for the intrusion but i just wanted to share our new “sunday night video” with you .

its a little different this week - i gave the band a much needed day off ;-) and instead recruited this guy ….

for those of you that haven’t heard gregory alan isakov’s music please try to set a little time aside to do so . you won’t be disappointed !!!!

i first stumbled across him around three years ago and very quickly became an enormous fan . there is something about the way that he writes and delivers his songs that i find amazingly sincere and beautiful .

after every gig of the “whispers" world tour i would get back to my dressing room and put on his album . there was something really calming about it that allowed me to come down from the shows and it became a really nice and important part of the post gig ritual .

cut to a couple of years later and i’m lucky enough to call him a friend and watch his set every night before we go on :-) i love how these things work out ….. if you’re coming to any of the uk / european dates make sure you’re there in time for his set !!!

the song is (another) paul simon one …. sorry …. not his most famous and some of you may not know it but i think it is one of his very best moments . its called “kathy’s song” and i really hope you all enjoy it .

another change in formation see’s my good mate bryan dos reis take over from jarrad seng photography behind the camera . i am so lucky to be able to work with both of these talented and brilliant dudes . what a gorgeous bit of filming …..

i feel like such a broken record but if you feel like sharing it that would be amazing .

thank you so much for watching and for the amazing support .

mike xx (passenger)

Michael David Rosenberg, better known by his stage name Passenger, is an English singer-songwriter and musician. Previously the main vocalist and songwriter of Passenger, Rosenberg opted to keep the band's name for his solo work after the band dissolved in 2009. His most successful single, "Let Her Go", has topped the charts in many countries. In 2014, the song was nominated for the Brit Award for British Single of the Year, and he received the British Academy's Ivor Novello Award for Most Performed Work.

Gregory Alan Isakov is a singer-songwriter. Born in Johannesburg, South Africa, he immigrated to the United States as a child, and was raised in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. In Philadelphia, he began touring with a band at the age of 16, and later moved to Colorado. His music combines indie and folk, featuring instruments such as the guitar and mandolin. Some of his most popular songs include "The Stable Song", "Big Black Car", and "Raising Cain".

Isakov has spent his entire life traveling, and as a result, his travels have impacted his songwriting; his songs tell stories of miles and landscapes and the search for a sense of place. Music has been a constant force in his life, as he says, "I've always had this sense about music and writing, that I sort of have to do it. Like I'll implode without it. I probably wouldn't do it if I felt any other way."

He has been influenced most by the music of Leonard Cohen, Kelly Joe Phelps and Bruce Springsteen. Gregory has played at many music festivals held across the United States, Canada and Europe. Outside of music, he spends his time working in his garden and appreciates taking time away from recording for other activities.

In 2016, Gregory released an album with The Colorado Symphony. The artist and group toured across the United States.

[unikats]

I couldn’t find just a section of lyrics from this song, the whole thing is beautiful and his voice is like butter.

Gregory Alan Isakov- Big Black Car (This Empty Northern Hemisphere)