#magic car fixing robots

[seat-safety-switch]

The news keeps banging on about self-driving cars. That's useless crap. Why would I want to get rid of the driving excitement of my daily commute? Most of my cars aren't even assisted-driving ones. No, what's really going to change automotive ownership forever is the development of the self-driving tow truck.

You've probably seen a bunch of crazy hype videos about a theoretical future car dropping its owner off and then going to look for a parking space on its own. This will never happen. No matter how stressful you find the act of parking, just imagine how much angrier you'll be when you come out of the Superstore and discover your shitbox is gunning it on the highway because it decided that the best place to park would be somewhere in Manitoba. Then it does a U-turn across four lanes and rams a bus full of nuns. No.

For my money, the more useful scenario is this. My car breaks down, then I press a button and a tow truck magically comes to get me. We throw that car on the tow truck and drive home to get it fixed. Easy. Economical. And if the eggheads working on this kind of thing do their jobs right, I won't even have to mess with the tow hooks myself. I can go grab a taco while the robot truck is busy roping up my stricken car and preparing the little winky-blinky lights.

Sure, it's going to put a whole lot of tow truck drivers out of business. Don't worry. Those brave folks have a highly transferable set of skills, and will be able to shift into a much lower-stress job, such as hostage negotiation or brain surgery. We'll need to keep a couple on hand, though, for when the robot tow trucks all break down and then start a horrific nightmare of trying to rescue one another, followed by a swelling fractal mass of tow trucks pulling tow trucks down the highway. That's a future you can bet on. Can I borrow your phone to call roadside assistance? Mine died when the alternator in my Plymouth blew up.

[luciemggio]

Chalk Dust and Soft Hearts

Pairing: Single Dad!Bucky Barnes x Teacher!f’Reader

Warnings: Fluff, warmth, modern AU

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a single dad trying to keep it all together. His daughter never stops talking about her favorite teacher. One day, he’s late to pick her up—and when he finally meets the woman behind all the bedtime stories, everything changes.

Here is part 2 of this story

The front doors of Roosevelt Elementary slammed shut behind him with a gust of early spring wind. Bucky exhaled hard, chest heaving, guilt already thick in his throat.

Late. Again.

He checked his watch—4:12 p.m. Pickup ended over thirty minutes ago.

He jogged past the colorful bulletin boards and long-forgotten lunchboxes littering the hallway benches. Room 3B. That’s where Becca always was. He knew it by heart, even if he’d never met the teacher.

Miss Y/N.

Becca talked about her like she was magic. Like she sprinkled glitter in her voice and made math feel like stories and read The Velveteen Rabbit with a bunny voice that made all the kids laugh.

It had started with bedtime stories—

“Miss Y/N says every scar tells a story, Daddy. What’s yours say?”

“She plays the piano! She says songs are like hugs for your ears.”

“I wanna be just like her when I grow up.”

He reached the door, heart thudding. He was ready for disappointment—a stern lecture about being on time. A tight smile. Politeness laced with judgment.

Instead, he found laughter.

He hesitated outside the door, peeking through the crack.

Becca sat on a bright rug, surrounded by crayons and half-finished coloring pages. And beside her, perched on her knees in a long skirt with chalk-dusted fingers, was you. Her teacher.

And for one second, Bucky forgot how to breathe.

You weren’t what he expected.

No clipboard. No frown. No watch-tapping.

Just warmth.

You had a soft laugh, all sunlight and ease. Your hands moved as you spoke, animated, like you taught with your whole body. And Becca looked up at you like you’d painted the stars.

“I think bunnies talk like this,” you said, wiggling your nose and tilting your voice high and squeaky. “But only when adults aren’t around.”

Becca giggled and collapsed into a pile of paper snowflakes.

Bucky knocked softly.

You turned.

And his world shifted.

“Hi,” you said, brushing a curl from your cheek as you stood. “You must be Mr. Barnes.”

He froze a second too long, caught in the sunlit haze of your smile.

“Uh—yeah. Yes. Sorry, I’m—damn, I’m late.”

You chuckled softly. “It’s okay. Becca and I were working on our secret bunny voices.”

Becca jumped up and sprinted across the room. “Daddy! You’re here!”

Bucky knelt to catch her, heart stinging with relief. “Hey, sweetheart. I’m sorry I’m late.”

She hugged him tight, then turned back toward you. “Miss Y/N, this is my daddy! He’s strong and he fixes cars and he makes the best grilled cheese ever. And—and he has a robot arm!”

Bucky winced. “Sweetheart…”

But you laughed, eyes lighting up with curiosity, not fear.

“Robot arm, huh?” you said, glancing at the sleek vibranium prosthetic. “That’s pretty cool.”

He shrugged, standing tall again. “Comes in handy for unscrewing peanut butter lids.”

You grinned. “And probably coloring really hard without breaking crayons.”

He chuckled, shifting awkwardly. “Yeah. That too.”

You held out a hand, and he took it. Your handshake was warm—firm but gentle. You smelled like lavender and dry-erase markers.

“I’m Y/N. Becca’s teacher. But I think you already knew that.”

“She talks about you constantly,” Bucky said before he could stop himself.

You smiled, touched. “She’s a sweetheart. Sharp little brain, too. She told me last week she wants to be an engineer.”

“Yeah,” he said softly, glancing down at her. “She likes to build things. Always has.”

You nodded. “She’s got a good heart. She told me once that when she misses her mom, she draws butterflies so they’ll carry the feelings up to the sky.”

Bucky blinked, throat tightening. “Yeah. That… that sounds like her.”

A quiet pause stretched between you, filled with the soft hum of the classroom heater and Becca humming as she packed up her things.

Then you cleared your throat, offering a gentle smile. “You’re doing a good job, you know.”

He looked up.

“Being a dad,” you said. “It’s not easy. But she’s kind, and curious, and happy. That’s not an accident.”

Bucky’s chest ached with the unexpected swell of gratitude.

“Thanks,” he murmured. “I—I try.”

You nodded like you already knew.

“She’s lucky to have you,” you added softly.

There was a moment. Not long, just long enough. A quiet, fragile second where the air between you shifted. Like the soft click of a puzzle piece falling into place.

Becca tugged his arm. “Daddy, can we get cookies on the way home? I drew four whole rabbits today.”

“Four rabbits?” he asked, eyebrows rising. “That definitely earns cookies.”

You laughed again. “You know, we’re reading Charlotte’s Web next week. Becca’s already ahead of the curve with all her barnyard drawings.”

“Guess we better keep feeding the artist,” he said with a soft smile, then turned to you. “Thanks for waiting with her. And for… everything else.”

“Anytime,” you said, voice softer now. “She’s a joy. And you’re always welcome to stop in—if you ever want to see what we’re working on.”

He hesitated. Then: “Maybe I will.”

You tilted your head. “We have parent conferences next month.”

“Will there be bunny voices?”

You grinned. “Only if you’re lucky.”

A week later, Bucky showed up early for the first time.

He wore a button-down shirt that Becca picked, held a thermos of black coffee, and stood outside Room 3B feeling more nervous than he had on his first deployment.

The door opened before he knocked.

“Hi,” you said, surprised. “You’re early.”

“I come bearing caffeine,” he said, lifting the thermos. “And… maybe hoping to see the bunny voice again.”

You laughed, stepping aside. “You’re in luck. We’re doing story time.”

Becca grinned from the carpet. “Daddy! Come sit next to me! Miss Y/N said we’re reading about a spider today but it’s not scary!”

He lowered himself to the rug, settling beside her.

You opened the book, fingers brushing his briefly as you turned the page. He looked at you. You looked at him.

And it was there again—that soft, magnetic pull. Unspoken. Unforced. Like something beautiful was beginning.

Weeks passed. Drop-offs turned into lingering chats. Pickups turned into shared laughter. You brought him a book on single parenting. He brought you sunflowers wrapped in brown paper.

One afternoon, Bucky waited until all the kids had left. Becca was with Nat for the night.

He lingered by your desk, hands in his jacket pockets.

You looked up from your grading.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” he said, shifting nervously. “I was wondering…”

You raised an eyebrow.

“I know this is kinda weird, and maybe not allowed, or—” He rubbed the back of his neck. “But would you maybe wanna grab a coffee sometime? With me. Not as a parent. Just… me.”

Your smile was immediate. Warm. Sure.

“I’d love that, Bucky.”

His heart stuttered at the sound of his name.

“I was hoping you’d ask.”

That night, Becca curled up next to him on the couch and whispered, “Daddy?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Miss Y/N would be a good princess.”

He blinked. “Princess?”

“For you,” she said sleepily. “You’re like a knight. But you don’t need armor all the time. Not with her.”

He kissed her forehead, eyes stinging.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “You’re right.”

Love, real love, snuck in like that. Quiet as chalk dust. Soft as laughter on a classroom rug.

And for the first time in a long time, Bucky Barnes let himself believe in beginnings.

[pillowspace]

NOTE: although I've now finished Ruin, this was written for fun when I had only seen the first half. Its relation is limited

(Wasn't) Worth Fixing by clutterspace

You find the Daycare Attendant of your childhood hidden behind your apartment building, severely damaged.

You... probably weren't intended to.

G | Words: 1,386 | Chapters: 1/1

∘₊✧────────────────────✧₊∘

Your mother used to work as a technician at the pizza place half-way across town when you were little. It took some time for you really memorize the name—Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex—when all you did as a young child was raise your hands up high to your mother so tall and ask when you could go to pizza.

For every day she had gone to work, she brought you with her. You boundlessly scribbled in Freddy Fazbear themed colouring books with crayon on the near silent bumpy car ride there, as she had always requested the quiet before the cacophany of shouting noise the mall offered its full family guests. And much too young to be let loose among the older children, you had always been dropped off at the establishment's daycare before her shift.

The place had once held a charm to it, a brightly coloured wonder of dizzying family fun that evolved into a more thoughtful appreciation for the advanced robotics you eventually grew old enough to possess. Even the daycare had been attended to by a single machine, and to this day, you genuinely wondered sometimes if the bounciness of life its creaky frame held had really been there at all, a marvel of technological advancement, or if it was only the low standard magic that all little eyes saw the world through. Your memories were few and far between, but it had been a joyous place that looked upon you kindly, and much of that credit went to that very machine in place.

It was enough to make you feel a little bad for just how much you begged your mother to let you freely roam outside of the daycare later on, but life went on and on for little minds, and it wasn't a thought worth lingering upon.

When you blessedly just barely became old enough for it, you had gotten your wish granted to you by your exhausted mother, and stuck closely around the Glamrocks and their masses of crowds from then on. It was an endlessly exciting change from the norm, and the musical daycare of childish screams and brightly enthused words of encouragement that had welcomed you with open arms became an afterthought.

You had asked your mother one day where Bonnie went. The older kids had spoken in jokes that fell like cruelty upon your ears, and it was only your mother who might as well have been the CEO in your eyes who you could trust. Older now, you knew there was no harm in the jokes the other children had made among one another, but that a mind so easily swayed could only listen in horror.

Your mother had not sugar-coated it, much too used to the more grown-up side of her occupation to bother. You would have been fine to hear that he was on vacation, or off to bigger and better performances across the globe. You would have smiled, proud to hear of his accomplishments. But the words she told you had been without care.

He wasn't worth fixing, so they got rid of him.

It had been a nagging fear that crept over your spine for a year afterwards that the same could ever happen to you, childishly lacking in the understanding of your differences in value to the surrounding world.

And it was as you silently stared back into the wild, frozen, broken eyes dimly illuminating the dark, filthy alleyway between apartment buildings in vibrant yellow and red hues, with a right hand on your own open back door's handle and a left hand tightly gripped around a filled garbage bag at your side years later, that those very words rung back to you.

Police sirens blared in the distance, but that was the usual.

People talked, but knew little. There had been something off from the usual in town lately, police cars circling the area endlessly. They were looking for someone, or something. And your neighbours speculated, but they all speculated different topics amongst themselves, bringing all that mystery down to a he said, she said, who cares anymore. It all became naught but a backdrop with no follow-up.

Maybe no one wanted to hear a possibly dangerous animatronic was on the loose. Or- no. Maybe just no one wanted to admit to the potentially catastrophic failing, what with the previous rumours already spiralling out of control. A silent capture was in play.

The animatronic looked banged up, shattered holes all along its body. Fabric was littered with rips and tears, while not an inch of casing went uncracked. Its rays adorned with a familiar blue hat were broken, and its faceplace was almost entirely shattered in half. But despite all of the horrific damage it bore, you could recognize the animatronic for the daycare of your early childhood from anywhere, even though only an hour prior, you would not have recalled its form. It held itself still under your gaze, and you too did not move, for there was a shocked terror in the way it held itself firmly pressed against the bottom of the wall, too-thin metal fingers cracking the pavement beneath it.

It looked so scared for something (someone?) that could easily do to you what it was doing to the pavement. Though you doubted that it had any desire to do so.

You didn't know how long you two stared, until finally, you took the slowest step you could towards the garbage bin that stood only a couple feet away in the dim alleyway. The second you moved even an inch, a mechanical hum rose in volume from the wary animatronic's metal body that reminded you of the sounds your own computer makes. It didn't move, didn't talk, only watched you out of the corner of your eye as you ever so slowly made your way towards the bin. You lifted the garbage bag into it, and the clattering sound of its contents shifting within rung out much too loud for the careful silence you required. You internally recoiled from the noise, but outwardly showed not a reaction as you inched your way back towards your door as if nothing out of place had been seen at all.

Your hand fell upon the door as you stepped up across the threshold. You did not walk any further, and instead looked over your shoulder at the vulnerable state the broken, hiding animatronic you had unintentionally spotted was in. You inhaled, feeling doubtfully uncertain, but reminiscent for the sounds of shrieking laughter and the ever so foggy memory of a large sunshine grin poking into a play structure to announce that you had been found. As advanced as its facial recognition likely was, you sincerely doubted that it could connect you back to the toddler you had once been. It had no idea who you were, and therefore had no intentions of ever having been seen by you. But even if it did, would that matter at all? You couldn't be but a single file and a brief, fading memory to its systems.

(It seemed smaller like this, but you knew that you had only grown taller.)

He wasn't worth fixing, so they got rid of him.

"They check this alleyway," you whispered into the cool night air. A small clicking sound of an unknown origin sounded out from the animatronic at the sound of your voice. It did not respond, but you did not expect it to.

You turned away and walked inside of your home, intent on brushing your teeth and going to bed.

You did not close the door behind you. An unspoken invitation, because surely you would not be to blame if the ever so frightening machine found its way into your home all on its own.

You stayed in your bedroom for the rest of the night, and when the muffled sounds of police sirens finally circled back towards your street, you just barely heard the almost inaudible sound of your back door quietly clicking shut. You did not emerge, no matter what shuffling noises you heard afterwards, and instead rolled over in bed to play a song from your phone's lit screen into your newly pushed in earbuds.

If anyone asked, they had been in all night.

[milolunde]

Every wish (and rule + misc. magic) in Fairly Oddparents: A New Wish

Edit: Some wishes and notable magic might be missing or misrepresented. Now that the show is on Netflix, I'll revise the list and double check anything I misheard when I have time.

Season 1

Episode 1, Fly!

Hazel: I wish Antony were here to help me unpack. And keep me talking to a bunch of rocks. (no fairies)

Hazel: I’d like to wish for… unlimited wishes! (Rocktilda is not a fairy)

(Not wishes: Cosmo poofs up a jar of pennies; A can of condensed milk; Wanda poofs a venus fly trap; Cosmo, a portrait of him and Wanda…Cosmo shrinks Angela’s book… Wanda rebuilds a shelf…Cosmo fixes a crack in the wall then covers it with a picture of himself; Wanda replaces the picture. Wanda poofs the door open/poofs it out of existence… they magic up random mail. Wanda teleports in front of the apartment building door. Cosmo crashes into her and that opens the door, I guess.)

Hazel: I wish (Wanda: Uh oh, she said the magic word.) Hazel: I wish! (Cosmo: She said it again! Wanda: You know what happens when we hear the magic word!) Hazel: I wish I could just fly to Antony myself! (They both poof into fairies; their wands uncontrollably turn Hazel into a fly… Wanda: The intensity of your wish activated our magic)

(Cosmo makes a trail of fries back to the apartment then traps Fly-Hazel in a jar)

(Trying to turn Hazel back into a human, Cosmo turns a plant, a toaster, and himself, into Hazel… possibly other things off screen. Note: He hits his wand after a few times and says, “Why can’t I work this thing?”)

Hazel: I wish I was human Hazel again

(Cosmo: We have a spell on the front door that lets us choose what world we go out into [Fairy World or Earth])

Episode 2a, The Department of Magical Violations

Hazel has already made 99 wishes and her 100th wish was “on Cosmo and Wanda” for a “Fun Fantasy” where Cosmo is a princess in distress by Wanda, an evil seahorse, and Hazel- a knight- has to rescue him.

Hazel: I wish we were back at my house. Thanks for granting my fun wish

Hazel: Ok… I wish- oh no- mind break! Brain bad! THE PRESSURE! (Wish fart)

Jorgen: For this first trial, I am stirpping Cosmo of his wings and his magic and YOU have to make a wish to save his puny life before the time runs out (Jorgen poofs up a giant tower) Hazel: I wish Cosmo had a parachute! No, wait… I wish he had a trampoline instead- is that better?.. I-I wish for a mattress!

Jorgen: You must get everyone dancing or else… Hazel: I wish for a DJ- No! A robot DJ that plays mumble rap- no, beethoven, no! Death Metal!

Hazel: I know exactly what I want. Antony and I used to joke about how silly this bike would look if it were real. Ok, I wish for one of those… those old-timey bicycles? It’s old and it’s got a big wheel and a little wheel and it’s mixed with one of those bikes that Antony likes to ride.

Cookie: Don’t worry Hazel, Cookie knows what you’re wishing for (a fancy car; this is not what Hazel was wishing for)

Da Rules: A child must always get what they want.

Cookie: Go ahead and wish for something. Here’s the latest doll./You want the latest makeup trend? Girl, Boot-IFY yourself!/ Of course! Cookies! All kids love cookies.

Hazel: I wish for a thing that exists but doesn’t. Oh no, I can't think of the name. It's, like, big, but also small. (Wish fart)

Hazel: I wish Cosmo and Wanda were my Fairy Godparents!

Hazel: Without all the pressure, I remember my wish! Penny Farthing Dirt Bike! (Cosmo made a Penny Farting Dirt Bike for himself)

Episode 2b, Teacher’s Pal

(Cosmo and Wanda poof a helmet and safety gear onto Hazel then become the wheels of a skateboard so they can steer it)

Hazel: I wish I could be friends with my teachers (Decreases the teachers’ maturity)

Hazel: I sure wish this (Teacher’s breakroom) were a place for a child

Hazel: I wish everyday could be as fun as today was

Hazel: I wish the teachers were back to normal

Episode 3a, A Dinosaur in Dimmadelphia

Hazel: I wish to see a live dinosaur

Hazel: I wish Barry (the dinosaur) could speak English

Hazel: I wish people weren’t afraid of (Barry)

Hazel: I wish Barry got a job in a dinosaur movie

Hazel: I wish (Barry) had a job at the Dimmsonian museum

Hazel: I wish Barry had a job working with his hands

Hazel: Electric Light Ice Cream for everyone

Episode 3b, Fearless

Hazel: I wish Jasmine was fearless

Hazel: I wish Jasmine was afraid again

Hazel: I wish they were gone (Doesn’t work; fear must be faced once released)

Hazel: I wish for a Hazel stand-in so no one notices I’m gone

(Wanda: According to Da Rules… Fears can only be fought by the one whose fear it is)

Episode 4a, The Wellsington Hotellsington

Hazel: I wish my apartment were a five-star luxury hotel

Hazel: Cosmo, I wish you were a bellhop

Hazel: Wanda I wish you were a concierge

Hazel: I wish I had a security system to keep my mom and dad locked away all night. (Bank vault door and two guard chihuahuas)

Hazel: I wish I had a chicken nugget machine, a giant emu, and a helicopter to call my own

Hazel: I wish you two (Tina Churner and Camera Man) would leave me alone (sends them to the moon…)

Hazel: I wish everything were back to normal

Episode 4b, 1500 Minutes of Fame

Hazel: I wish everyone in the school knew me. I wish to be famous. (Cosmo + Wanda: Fifteen minutes of fame, coming up! [this summons Father Time])

Hazel: Well, whoever’s job it is, then, I wish I was famous at my school! (She gets 1500 minutes- 25 hours)

Hazel: I wish Father TIme was here

Hazel, to Father Time: I need you to end my fifteen minutes of fame early. (Nick of Time shows up and turns Hazel’s regular minutes into New York Minutes)

Hazel, in song: I wish I knew more New York-y things

Episode 5a, 28 Puddings Later

Hazel: I wish everyone had an unlimited supply of School Pudding

Hazel: I wish the pudding was being served after the class picture

Hazel: I wish everyone had an unlimited supply of broccoli pudding

Episode 5b, Trial and Hair-ror

Hazel: I wish my hair had spirit (brings her hair to life. Her name is Diana the Diva. Cosmo thought she wanted her hair to have A spirit)

Hazel: Silk scarf lasso, please

Hazel: Release the hair gel!

(Hazel wins Most Spirited Hair, this somehow isn’t cheating)

Episode 6a, Weird Science

Hazel: I wish my science project worked (this changes the laws of science; also somehow does not count as cheating)

Hazel: I wish everything were back to normal (Wanda: Can it wait, squirt? I’m busy transcending my body. [even when they do cast their magic it doesn’t work])

Hazel: I wish the laws of science were back to normal

Episode 6b, Mystery She Wished

Hazel: I wish I could solve a mystery as a genuine Gumshoe (Cosmo turns her into a shoe stuck in gum. Wanda turns her into a detective)

Hazel: Wish over, I want to be normal Hazel! (Wanda: You wished to be a detective like the ones you saw on TV,. None of them used magic to solve the case. You’re stuck until you solve the mystery.)

Episode 7a, Prime Meridian Love

Hazel: I wish I could go to the dance with Kennueth

Hazel: Oops, I wish Kennueth could breathe air

(Hazel: Why aren’t you hiding? He can’t know about magic. Wanda: Actually, since he’s a fictional character and not a real person Da Rule doesn’t apply)

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish Kennueth had a cool outfit for the dance.

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish we were at the docks

Episode 7b, Stanky Danky

Hazel: I just wish people wouldn’t be such trash monsters. (Cosmo: Did I hear a wish? Wanda: I heard “trash monster” Cosmo: One Trash Monster coming up!)

Hazel: I wish Stanky could say at least a few words

Hazel: I wish this box would take me to Danky

Episode 8a, Peace of Pizza

Hazel: I wish I could convince Dev to participate in kindness day

Hazel: I wish Dev had extra milk he could spare

Hazel: I wish the Pe-Az’s had something big to carry then Dev could do a kind act by holding the door open for them

Hazel: You know, Dev, I sure wish we had some pizza for you right now

Episode 8b, A New Development

Hazel: Dev is so mean, I wish I knew why he acted like that (this pairs Dev and Hazel together for the scavenger hunt)

Episode 9, Lost and Founder’s Day

Hazel: I wish to speak to a Dimmadelphia History Expert- A Dimmastorian.

Hazel: I wish that miserable kid had a new ice cream cone

Hazel: I wish that line moved faster

Hazel: I wish that bouncy was bigger, better, and bouncier!

Dev: I wish I could stay and talk (Not a real wish and it doesn’t get granted, but he said the words so…)

Hazel: I wish the statues weren’t magic anymore (they were never magic)

Episode 10a, Cookie’s Court

(Hazel had a streak of wishes, I’m not counting the hole punches to figure out how many, and earned another fun adventure on Cosmo and Wanda… again, whatever that means. Hazel must save Coswanda rock from a meteor, then she defeats Seahorse Wanda… Hazel says she wished for a talking gut the day before; she still has it)

Hazel: I wish Ferray could talk (Jorgen grants this)

Episode 10b, Work Her Magic

Hazel: I wish I was my mom’s assistant

Hazel: Can you guys…? (Hazel stand-in at school)

Hazel: I need backup! I wish you were in the meeting with me

Hazel: I wish that everything was back to normal! And that I was a kid again!

Episode 11a, Crock to the Future

Marcus: I sure wish (AJ) was coming… Hazel: Dad said the magic word! I wish tonight was extra special for him!

Hazel: I wish Crocker stopped trying to reveal fairies! (the building is covered in a butterfly net so they have no magic… [they can still float])

Episode 11b, Battle of the Dimmsonian

Dev: I wish everyone will think I'm really cool when I get out of the helicopter!... Wait, no! I wish everyone will think I look really powerful! … no, no, no, no wait!... hahaha, I’m just messing with ya’. Now, execute my wish!

(Dev spent “all morning wishing for the perfect cupcake”)

Dev: I wish I had Viozalia’s staff

Hazel: I wish I had Viozalia’s staff!

Dev wishes for Viozalia’s staff off screen

Hazel: I wish I had the staff

Dev: I wish I had the staff

Hazel: I wish I had the staff

Dev: I wish I had the staff

Hazel, offscreen: I wish I had the staff

Dev: I wish the spirit of Viozalia would come back to life (Peri is able to do this... Marcus says it’s a “Level 9 Spector”)

Dev: Viozalia, bring this museum to life. (She gets her staff back and brings everything to life)

Peri, reading Da Rules: What to do when your godkid tries to start a ghost apocalypse… NOTHING?!

Dev and Hazel: I wish Viozalia and her spirits would return to the spirit realm! (Peri, Cosmo, and Wanda all use their magic to grant this)

Episode 12a, Patty Possum’s Party Playground

Hazel: I wish Patty Possum would come to life

Hazel: I need to unwish my wish!!! (Wanda: sorry, kiddo. We can’t grant wishes without our wands)

Episode 12b, A Date to Remember

(Hazel had Cosmo and Wanda help her with her mom and dad’s anniversary presentation)

Hazel: I wish my parents could fall in love all over again.

Hazel: I wish they were back in love (Wanda: We can do the setup but according to Da Rules only cupid can make people fall in love)

Hazel: then I wish Cupid was here

Hazel: I wish a had a microphone and piano

Episode 13, Operation Birthday Takeback

Hazel wished for a Prime Meridian Love manga that was only released underseas so she could give it to Dev for his birthday

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish for a pair of rocket boots for Dev (Dev: Why didn’t you think to get these for me, Pickle-Brained Peri? Peri: because my job is to grant you wishes. Not to read your mind.)

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I need you! Dev: Peri, get in here! (They don’t show up)

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, Peri, where the heck are you! (They still don’t show up)

Hazel: Movie night! And you know what goes great with movies? Really big ice cream!

Dev: I wish you would leave me alone! (Peri: I… As you wish, kid.)

Episode 14a, Potazel Potahzel

Hazel: I wish I could have unlimited french fries

You are what you eat is literal with magic food

Hazel: Turn me back into a human, right this minute (they have to consult Mother Nature)

Episode 14b, The Haunting of Wells House

Hazel: I wish we were on our own paranormal investigation show

Hazel: I wish there was no fairy evidence on the video

Episode 15a, Lost in Fairy World

(Hazel still has a talking gut)

Dev: I want to go to Fairy World! At all costs! (Cosmo: sorry, Dev, Fairy World is reserved for special occasions. Like being tested by Jorgen in the Wish Trials, being tested by Jorgen in a giant cage match, or being tested by Jorgen in a- well, you get it… Peri: You’re not his Fairy Godparents! I am! I’ll handle this. Ahem. Dev, Fairy World is reserved for special occasions, like being tested by Jorgen, and as your Fairy Godparent I cannot let you go.)

Dev: Fine. I wish to go to Fairy World and not be tested by Jorgen (Peri: You can’t do that! Cosmo and Wanda: Aw, our son’s first wish loophole!)

Hazel: My gut is telling me I wish to go, too!

Dev: That’s where I want to go! The one place I can’t! The Hocus-Pogo-Stick or whatever! (Peri: Don’t worry, Hazel, it’s off limits t- Cosmo: IT’S OFF LIMITS TO HUMANS! <3 Peri: Yes. Thanks dad. And y- Wanda: You need a magic wand to travel Fairy World and only fairies have those.)

Dev: Well, I WISH I had a wand! (Peri: Uhm. I can’t do that. Can I do that? I’m not gonna do that.)

Dev: To the Hiccus-Pickle-Star or whatever. (Dev uses Peri’s wand, it transports them to StarDome)

Hazel makes a wand and casts rainbows. Dev makes a ladybug car. Dev poofs Hazel into a toaster, I think. Hazel poofs Dev into (or Dev poofs himself into) an Obtuse Rubber Goose on a skateboard. Hazel (or a rogue wish) freezes dev. A rogue star unfreezes him.

Dev accidentally unwishes him and Hazel into the Hocus Poconos. (Though they weren’t wishes in the first place. But I’m just writing this.)

There’s an unwish dragon that eats unwishes

Peri poofs him, Cosmo, Wanda, Dev, and Hazel out of Jorgen’s office and back to his parent’s house. (Still in Fairy World)

Episode 15b, The Treble with Rivals

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish I could play all instruments. (This summons the nMusic Fairy)

Hazel: I wish for a trumpet and a violin

Hazel makes a miscellaneous wish to be in two places at once. This doesn’t clone her, it looks like it just poofs her between rooms but no one seems to care about her randomly appearing and disappearing.

Hazel: I wish that the band and orchestra kids had nothing to be rivals about (This gets rid of music)

Hazel: Just take me to the nMusic Fairy, please

The nMusic Fairy gives Hazel a note to temporarily restore music

Hazel is put in the nMusical Hall of Fame

Episode 16a, Rattleconda Racers

Hazel: I wish he was into (Rattleconda Racers) now.

Hazel: I wish we were out of the game! (They can't, that would be cheating)

Episode 16b, Dig a Little Deeper

Hazel: I wish we were in a cave

Hazel: I wish I could find the coolest, shiniest, most out of this world rock! (They poof it from the “opposite end of the universe”)

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish we were safely back at home (they don’t have their wands)

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish we were back at home

Episode 17a, Best of Luck

Cosmo and Wanda have their home in Hazel’s school desk

Dev: Get me that free T-shirt, I wish for that free t-shirt. (Peri: I can get you a T-shirt, but I can’t get you that T-shirt because it’s a prize. Da Rules state that-)

Dev: Of course Hazel won, she probably wished for it (Peri: Doubtful, Da Rules state that-)

Peri: Hazel having two fairies has nothing to do with the luck of-

Dev: I wish to be in tomorrow’s school-wide tournament (Peri: Dev, that’s cheating! I can’t-)

Dev: I wish for straight A’s (Peri: Da Rules-)

Dev: I wish for Hazel to have all F’s (Peri: I can’t-)

Peri: You know what, Dev, I’m done! (This counts as a resignation)

Dev: I wish it was tomorrow! (Irep grants this)

Dev: I wish to be back in the tournament today

Dev: I wish for Hazel Wells to have bad luck!

Hazel: I wish to have good luck (Wanda: Something is preventing our wands from granting your wish! [Wanda doesn’t think wishing for good luck counts as cheating])

Hazel: I wish for as many good luck charms as possible!

Da Rules: Once a fairy quits, any magical being can take their place

Dev: I wish Bev loved me/ I wish for a ton of money/ I wish to be king of America

Wanda turns some man into a racoon

Irep turns Cosmo into an ostrich

Dev: Irep, I wish Cosmo and Wanda were NOTHING (Jorgen intercepts this wish, nullifying it)

Peri: when I quit, I never gave two-weeks notice so Dev is still my godkid

Jorgen reverses all of the wishes Irep granted… then physically throws Irep back to Anti-Fairy World

Episode 17b, Hazel Wells and the Multiverse of Jenkins

Hazel: I wish I had a do-over (Wanda, technically: If the wish involves time, we’ll have to call- Hazel: Father Time, yeah, sure sure sure, just do it.)

Hazel: Father Time, I need a do-over (time loops cereal- 568+ times; ruptures the space-time continuum)

Episode 18a, Growing Pains

Hazel: I wish I was thirteen so I could see Gregory by myself (they used fairymones to age her up)

Hazel: I wish we were at the theater

Pasta Puberty: When fairies reach a certain age, powerful fairymones cause big emotional and physical changes like pesto-pits, (unintelligible)-acne, and even mozzarella mood swings.

Hazel: I wish you two would just get lost

Hazel: I wish I was ten again!

Episode 18b, Fairy for a Day

Hazel: I wish I could go to Fairycon (Cosmo: sorry, Hazel, but this is a fairies only event)

Hazel signs a fairyfication certificate and becomes a fairy (Hazel: I thought you said godkids couldn't be fairies. Wanda: Godkids cant wish to be fairies)

Becoming an official fairy means you get your own anti-fairy

Lady: This macrochip powers all the wands in Fairy World. If this isn’t plugged in properly, no fairy can use their magic

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish I was a kid again (Wanda: according to Da Rules we didn't make you a fairy so we can’t unmake you a fairy)

Hazel makes another of herself. It basically has no soul

Lezah makes two- then more- then gives them all papers- then turns herself into Hazel

Hazel destroys the certificate with magic- this gets rid of Lezah.. Not her shoes, though.

Episode 19a, Stuck in My Head

Hazel: I wish Winn and Jasmine were inside my head, that way they could really get to know me

Hazel: I wish the mind worm was gone (Wanda: We can’t do that. The mind worm is a part of you)

Hazel: I wish we were back at home

Episode 19b, Mind the Gap

Hazel: I wish my gap was gone (Tooth Fairy)

Hazel: I wish I had floss

Hazel: I wish for cinnamon toothpaste

Hazel: I wish the Tooth Fairy were here

Episode 20, The Battle of Big Wand

Cosmo: Don’t you wish to land safely? (Hazel: of course I do)

Wanda: Don’t you wish you were already dressed for school? (Hazel: Sure, why not)

Hazel: Did you magically brush my teeth? (Cosmo: Only because you wished for it! You did wish for it, right?)

Hazel has made 999,999 wishes. 1,000,000 wishes means you get a rule free wish

Hazel: I wish that drool was dried! (1,000,000)

Fairies have an Information Technology department

Dev: That Fairy World sign, fix it (Irep: Done and doner *It says Dev World*/ *Irep poofs sunglasses onto Jorgan’s office, then makes it bigger*)

Irep: (About the DMV) What are we thinking? (Dev: Slap an E on it!)

Dev: Seize them! (Hazel, Cosmo, and Wanda)

Anti Fairies started an Anti-web that humans (or at least Dev) can access

Irep tapes Dale’s mouth shut

Dev: Irep, I wish all godkid were reassigned to anti-fairies. (Hazel doesn’t get a fairy. Irep poofs her back to her home)

Dev: If I’m lactose intolerant then I wont tolerate lactose. Remove it!

Dev: Geography’s too hard, let's make it one place

Dev: The trouble (he might say treble here, in reference to the episode) with music is that there’s too many options. Try a new beat. I’ll call it Dev-step

All competitions have winners/ Couples are breaking up willy nilly/ pets are coming to life from their cemetery

Hazel: For the past year I have had Fairy godparents (just lore/ she has made 1,000,000 wishes in a year.)

Hazel: Wanda I wish you would restore Fairy World back to normal (Despite experiencing magic build up, Wanda can grant this- this also heals Peri and Cosmo [and anyone else])

Jorgen wipes Earth’s memories of fairies

Hazel: Wait I’m still owed one rule-free wish! … I want (Jasmine, Winn, and Antony) to keep their memories and be allowed to know about fairies forever. 

Jorgen poofs all seven of them back to Earth

Seven Penny Farthing-Farting Dirt Bikes (and four helmets)

[demon-girl-izalith]

This is a small piece I had written after a particularly important experience I had this sluggish summer day as I was grappling with a lot. I hope it's able to brighten some of your days as well.

Bright Suburban Rain

I used to enjoy electronic repairs. A childlike wonder filling my body as I looked underneath the plastic shells asking them to tell me their secrets, the mysteries of their seemingly arcane powers, I would carefully prod the circuits and tiny components inside -- it was like magic to me. But despite all my efforts, my job as a repair technician with all its customer service glory, often resulted in a form of cursed trade, a trade made under coercion. A trade for the wonder and whimsy of a subject I once held dear to me for money that I needed in order to survive... I sat there, feeling my pain medication's effects wane.

I had to take opioids daily to keep myself up and able to work, the horrible medicine my only relief from the pain caused by a botched spinal surgery. I sat there working with my reduced hours, the anxiety of the limited income from the cut hours numbing my mind to my feelings. It willed me with a rich fog that numbed both senses and mind, a fog made only more dense by the opioids. Horrible things that rendered me much like a tranquilized beast; I was made complacent with my suffering as I went about my tasks in the repair shop. I liked this job in many ways, despite the terrible spoiled and often well-off customers I had to deal with daily. But deep down I knew my real talents were wasted on this job, and all my coworkers new it, too; if it wasn't for my spinal disease I would have gone to graduate school two years prior, taught under a professor who explicitly wanted me in their department as a new professor. Before this current job, before my spine disease hit me in full force, I was a researcher studying an intersection in fields I was quite passionate about-- philosophy, neuroscience, and robotics. Sadly, that opportunity had likely withered to dust by now.

I poked at a retro console my coworkers set aside for me. They knew I enjoyed these repairs the most. It was a kind gesture, and despite myself I was appreciative. Using my probes on the green and copper pathways, poking them gently on either side of components and turning the nob on my meter to the appropriate settings, I swiftly identified the issue - a failed fuse in the power circuitry. I linked a new part in the work order notes, and quoted the customer the cost of the repair, the voice I spoke with on that phone betraying my severe utter lack of emotionality inside.

I used to feel something when working with these devices, a reverence for them even, I used to look forward to working on them. Even though my feelings were broken long before this job, at least fixing things still made me feel *something*. But this time... this time I felt little. That was becoming more common these days, as if I was reaching some desperate emotional event horizon of no return. That cursed contract almost completed, a deal made in hell, taking with it all my wonder, my drive, my hope, in exchange for survival. Against those same hopes and dreams, and against my consent, I was stripped of what I prized most-- childhood joy. I left the shop, my back aching from the implants not working as they should. "Damn quack surgeons" I mumbled as I crawled into my overly small car, trying to make haste to take advantage of the slowing lull in rain. I continued to feel nothing during my drive home.

The sun peaked through the clouds during this brief respite in the rain. As I drove I wished to myself that I wasn't a prisoner to this suburban hell, a dreadful place where every person acted like things were just fine. Things were not fine. I wished I could enjoy the sunshine and rain, I wished I could feel... I called my partner, asking how her day was. The call was a plea, a cry for help, a way out our of the unfeeling hell I knew we were both trapped in. I told her I loved her and I would see her soon at home. As I hung up the phone, I took notice of the dirty asphalt ahead of my car covered in small pools of rain, the cloudy fog and light mist creeping around the roads as I pierced them with my car, sending whisps into small spirals in the air. I briefly looked to my left and saw occasional sheets of water poking out of the gaps in the lawns of the near identical suburban houses, the greenery of trees that lived here long before the houses construction barely poking through gaps between the houses, their branches beckoning me to hold onto hope. I struggled to maintain grip on that hope as I drove the curve of the hilly road in my gross old car, the faint smell or cigar smoke mixing with the humid smell of rain hitting soil leaking through my poor climate control system.

A black truck suddenly drove past me, it's speed far too fast to be safe especially on a wet road such as this. "Stupid Republican idiots" I thought to myself as the car rushed by and kicked up water into a fine mist. Every pool it hit, new water kicked up into the foggy atmosphere, and as I drove further along the road the bright warm sun lit the misty air up, and to my wonder and surprise it filled it with beautiful and otherworldly auroras of rainbow droplets, constantly sustained behind this gaudy truck. I looked at those rainbows and felt something, and felt compelled to follow even though it diverted from my route home. I maintained distance behind that dumb truck, almost certainly unaware of the beauty it had created in its vile chugging along the road. I sped up to make it through the light, barely scraping by, but also clinging just behind at ther right distance so as to maintain enough space to hit the right angle and see that beauty. I craved that beauty. It was as if I was chasing my hope itself.

As I suddenly passed into a space with fewer houses, I once again saw the bright sun, it lit the suburban hell around me and I became aware of all the beautiful greenery, the dripping water, the vibrant life, hidden amongst the roadside brush, the water pooling around it and washing it clean of the roads contaminents. The world felt like it was telling me that despite it all, life would still be beautiful. To not give up. As if an assurance from nature that the capitalistic doom of suburbia wouldn't prevail over the beauty and hope of life itself. I felt my eyes water a bit, still maintaining a slight distance from the expensive truck. As I reached the end of the road I frantically clamored for my cell phone, calling my partner back, eager to tell her about my experience. I slowed to a stop as I approached a red light on a busy road. As I spoke and recounted my experience to her she talked in an almost similarly exhausted but superficially happy tone I had spoken with on the phone with that customer. I felt slightly awkward as I sat there, "perhaps I was reading into it" I thought to myself. Regardless I knew she didn't quite understand what I was trying to say. I hoped that one day, somehow, she was able to see through the veil of misery that I did on that road, to witness an omen, a sign of triumph over the nihilistic purgatory we are all trapped in. I clenched my fist and breathed in the faintly smoky smelling recycled air of my vehicle. As it filled my lungs, I made up my mind to hold on as long as I could.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Five nights at Freddy’s but it's Batman.

If you were expecting this to make sense....Don't.

I started ranting about this while half asleep.

I'm not following any time line just game order.

Also we're skipping fnaf 2.

Barbara Gordon is Charlotte "Charlie" Emily.

She is killed by Joe Chill aka the Joker aka William Afton aka the Purple Guy.

Her father, Jim Gordon aka Henry Emily is devastated. He has no idea how this occurred.

Not a clue.

Totally didn't see the purple car at the crime scene.

A purple car he sees every morning.

... Nope.

He goes to the cops but it's Gotham so they don't do shit.

However, because it's Gotham Batman shows up to help.

But unfortunately no one knows who killed poor Babs so gotta do some investigating.

Also there's been a string of dissappearances around the restaurant.

People are loving calling it "the missing children's incident."

And the cops are doing nothing so Batman is also investigating that and wonders if the two are connected.

Bat's makes the great decision to go undercover as a nighttime security guard.

And despite the fact he is very clearly billionaire Bruce Wayne in a security uniform.

No one recognises him.

He is now Mike Schmidt.

... You know still a better name for his cover than Matches Malone.

And because I recently watched Batman: The Doom that came to Gotham.

Great, one of the weirdest things I've ever watched.

... Don't watch it if you like Talia because... Yikes.

Anyway, so Bruce is very much on his fear works because villians are superstitious and cowardly.

I don't believe in magic, everything can be explained by science.

...And than Golden Freddy bursts into the office.

Had to rework a few things than.

It takes him less than 5 nights to figure it all out.

Beats the shit out of and gets Joe Chill arrested.

But it's Gotham and FNAF so it doesn't even go that far.

Not that they know for years later.

During this time Bruce adopts another kid, Jason.

Yeah Dick is here but he left to another city.

He's officially the smart one.

No he doesn't have a character equivalent he's just... There.

Jason however later turns out to be Jason Chill aka the son of Joe Chill.

Aka this worlds Michael Afton.

Gets wind his real father isnt Willis Todd but Joe Chill.

Goes after him, despite him being in hiding for years.

Does this by working at Fazbear Frights as a nighttime security guard.

Witnesses Joe Chill destroying the animatronics.

Releasing the spirits and causing Joe Chill to back into his Spring lock suite.

Multiple springlock failures occure.

Jason gets on tape that he's the murderer and killed Barbara Gordon.

Bruce and Jim show up and together they set the place on fire with Joe Chill's body inside.

But no body is ever found.

One of the old locations starts up again.

Bruce finds out Joe Chill had another son, and adopts him.

Leaving out the whole... We set him on fire.. Maybe.

This kid is Tim Chill aka the crying child.

Who Jason likes to mess with and Tim messes with him back in turn.

Jason plays a seemingly harmless prank on Tim... That he ends up taking too far.

And in his defence no one knew that the Golden Freddy animatronic had the jaw strength of a shark.

Bruce goes into mourning.

The body goes missing.

Jason wanting to fix things does his own investigation and finds Circus Baby's entertainment and rentals.

Ran by Chill robotics.

Turns out Joe Chill decided to literally put his child back together.

And infused Baby with his remnant.

His lil clown.

Though both sides of Tim, both Joker Jr and the brother of Jason fight over Jason's fate.

Whether he should live or die.

Joker Jr I mean Baby wins and Jason is scooped.

Dick, who was staying in Gotham for Tim's funeral, realises Jason has gone missing.

And goes out to search for him.

Finding the his brother now a disturbing shade of purple and an undead zombie.

Gets Jason back home, Jason is basically catatonic only repeating "You won't die, you won't die" over and over.

Bruce gives him a big hug, apologising for blaming Jason and pushing him away.

Though Jason is convinced Tim's fate is his fault.

He ends up puking up Ennard, which Bruce captures and puts in the Batcave.

They take what's left of Baby and upload Tim's consciousness to a robotic version of him Jim just... Had on hand.

Along with a robot Barbara.

... Yeah don't, don't worry about it.

Jason apologises profusely, Tim calls him a dumbass, things are finally right with the world.

Butt this isn't enough for Jim who realises an animatronic can't replace his Barbara.

Decides if I can't have my happy ending none of you can.

Has a redo birthday party for Tim and sets the place on fire.

... Except it does literally nothing and Bruce shoves him in Arkham and just takes Babs back with him.

Way to go smart guy.

Damian Wayne aka Gregory shows up at some point. He got told he couldn't go to the pizzaplex.

And went anyway.

Gave everyone a heart attack, stole Glamrock Freddy and made a friend in Cassandra Cain aka Vanessa.

A trained assassin who Joe Chill was trying to hypnotise into killing for him.

They tried to kill each other if the cause of a night so they're friends now.

Bruce adopts another child all is well with the world.

Until Jonathan Kent aka Cassie shows up because of a fake message luring him to the pizzaplex saying Damian was in danger.

The mimic gets it's butt kicked, Bruce lectures Clark about not keeping an eye on his son.

The hypocrite.

And everyone goes home.

Oh and Jim and his wife got divorced when Babs died.

His wife taking and raising their son, James Gordon Jr aka Sammy Emily.

Who's just off living life and is still a serial killer.

Soo... Yeah.

... Idk what this is but it exists now.

[superman86to99]

Adventures of Superman #514 (July 1994)

"THE FALL OF METROPOLIS," Part 4! Metropolis is invaded by aliens! And werewolves! And Nazis! And Lois Lane dies! And Professor Hamilton loses a limb! Only one of these things ends up being true by the time the issue is over.

Metropolis is still in ruins after the explosive events of Action #700 (it's not like they can magically fix it from one issue to the next, right?) and on top of that, the city is now covered in so much fog that it's giving me Superman 64 flashbacks. But this is no regular fog: when some armed preppers walk through it, one of them suddenly hallucinates that his friends are alien invaders and kills them in a panic. Elsewhere, three soldiers are affected by the fog and start seeing everyone around them as "commies," the Viet Cong (so "commies" again), and werewolves (communist ones, presumably).

Superman stops a soldier from shooting a rabbi/imaginary werewolf, but the soldier sees him as a vampire while the rabbi thinks Superman is a Nazi (both solid Elseworlds premises).

While trying to contain all the people tripping balls around Metropolis, Superman runs into Lois, who's just chilling in the middle of the ruins. Just as Superman comments that he seems to be immune to whatever is making people hallucinate their worst fears, that trigger-happy prepper from before appears and shoots at them, thinking they're aliens (well, he's half right).

Superman just lets the bullets bounce off his chest... not noticing that one bounced in Lois' direction, fatally injuring her. NEXT: Reign of the Lois Lanes?!

Making matters worse, Ma and Pa Kent happen to stroll by, having seemingly traveled to war-torn Metropolis just to tell their son what a disappointment he is. Then Lex Luthor shows up too, with his luscious red locks inexplicably restored, and tells Superman none of this would have happened if he hadn't stolen Lois and Metropolis from him. Lex finally concedes that Metropolis is "Superman's city," but only because, as Superman just noticed, the city is full of nothing but corpses now.

Meanwhile, Professor Hamilton is having a tough time too: a prostitute has just shot him in the arm because she hallucinated that Hambone was her abusive pimp. Hamilton is rescued by a white-haired young lady who smacks the prostitute with a plank of wood. Ham and the girl jump into his car to escape the crazed crowd around them, but then he hallucinates his worst fear: not being able to operate a vehicle because the controls are too complicated.

"Also, I'm naked!"

The girl jump-starts the car's engine and they speed away from the crowd -- only to realize that being in a speeding car with someone who's hallucinating at the wheel isn't such a brilliant idea. They end up driving the car off a pier, and right before they do, we see that Ham happened to have a box full of something called "synthetic enzymes" on his back seat...

Back to Superman, he angrily flies into the sky with Luthor, who morphs into his old school bald self and goads Superman into killing him. Superman refuses to give in to hatred and delivers a speech about rebuilding a better, Lex-free Metropolis, causing Luthor to fade away, as does Lois' corpse. Right then, Hamilton and the white-haired girl come to tell Superman that they've figured out how to stop the hallucinations: no, not "facing and overcoming your deepest fears," but simply spreading that convenient "synthetic enzyme" throughout the city to negate the fog's effect.

(This is why I never leave the house without synthetic enzymes in my car since reading this issue.)

Superman makes the enzyme rain down over Metropolis and everything goes back to normal... except for Professor Hamilton who, to quote Arrested Development, is now "all right," because he lost his left arm. Superman and Hamilton figure out that the crazy fog was another one of Luthor's "fail-safes" in case he was ever defeated, like the killer robots that have been attacking Metropolis over the past weeks (Man of Steel #35 and Superman #91).

But there's still one fail-safe left, and it's a big one...

TO BE CONCLUDED!

Creator-Watch:

This month's issue of Adventures is guest-drawn by Peter Krause, who coincidentally also guest-drew Adventures and Superman exactly two years ago during the Agent Liberty two-parter. We'll see a little more Krause in the near future via another Adventures issue and the Metropolis S.C.U. miniseries… and maybe a LOT more in the not-so-near future if our plans to cover his Power of Shazam! ongoing series with Jerry Ordway in our newsletter come into fruition. (Don is a big fan and I've always been curious about it because 1) it's Ordway and 2) José "Gangbuster" Delgado is in it.)

Plotline-Watch:

The loss of Professor Hamilton's arm will be the longest-lasting consequence of Metropolis' destruction. (It will also be used to turn him into a villain after this era, but we won't be covering those issues and I'm glad.) I like that good ol' Ham is so absent-minded that he seems to have forgotten about his missing arm like five minutes after they amputated it. He also forgot that his hair is supposed to be grey, apparently.

There's a dark irony to Hamilton losing a limb after being shot by a prostitute, considering that Adventures #425, his second appearance, was about him kidnapping a "strumpet" at gunpoint out of desperation after Luthor stole his invention. He did his time and got his shit together after that, though.

Yes, Luthor's final fail-safe is the Awesome Kryptonian Battle Robot, which was built in ancient Krypton, sent to the Phantom Zone, ended up in the Fortress of Solitude (where Professor Hamilton used it to play tag with robots), and was most recently used by the powerless, recently resuscitated Superman to walk from Antactica to Metropolis during "Reign of the Supermen." I guess Superman sorta lost track of it after that, but to be fair he did have a lot on his mind at that point.

At S.T.A.R. Labs, Dr. Kitty "Rampage" Faulkner tells Superman that right before Project Cadmus was destroyed (as far everyone knows, anyway), they used some fantastic sci-fi technology called a "modem" to send S.T.A.R. their info on the cure to the Clone Plague. Despite Luthor being a dick in and out of Superman's hallucinations, Superman still makes sure he's delivered to S.T.A.R. at the end of the issue so they can apply the cure (though we already know he won't stay there for long).

"Mardis" up there is Dr. Jean Louis Mardis from the recent S.T.A.R. Corps miniseries, who is somehow still employed by S.T.A.R. despite trying to pass off alien tech as his own inventions, accidentally turning a bunch of regular people into superpowered freaks and nearly causing an AI to conquer the world. S.T.A.R., which has also employed Hamilton in the recent past, seems to be big on second opportunities.

As far as I can tell, that white-haired young lady who has a weird amount of protagonism in this issue Never Showed Up Again. [EDIT: k9feline reminded me in the comments that she DOES show up again, with her rock band! Shame on me.] Given the color of her hair, her surprising skill with machines, and the fact that she keeps calling Professor Hamilton "pops," I'm gonna assume she's supposed to be his secret lovechild (with a prostitute?).

Big Belly Burger sighting! "Eat 'em!"

Shout Outs-Watch:

Big belly shout outs to our supporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, Bol, and Dave Shevlin! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter's "pay what you want" mode!

And now, stick around for The Don Sparrow Show:

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

We open with the cover, and it’s a pretty affecting one, a pieta style pose with a massive Superman mourning an apparently grievously injured Lois Lane.  Very emotional, and pretty restrained, in terms of '90s-excesses—in the hands of a lesser artist, the idea of Lois’ tattered clothes would be treated as titillating rather than sorrowful, so it’s an effective choice that Barry Kitson makes here.

The cover is all the Kitson we get, as the interiors are handled by Pete Krause, a terrific artist, and soon-to-be companion of Jerry Ordway on the excellent Power of Shazam! series.  Though I think his sharpest work is ahead of him, his pencils are solid throughout this issue, an interesting middle ground between the shadowy slickness of someone like Stuart Immonen (indeed, I don’t remember Krause ever looking so much like Immonen), and the pure linework of someone like Tom Grummett. The shot of Superman rescuing the old man is a great one.  Our introduction to Lois Lane in the story is also a cute panel, as Superman greets her with a (fairly wide) open mouth kiss.

The image of Professor Hamilton getting shot in the arm is something of a mixed bag—the expression of pain is great, but it also doesn’t actually show him getting shot (the drawing appears to indicate that he was only grazed by the bullet) but we later learn that the injury is so severe his arm must be amputated. [Max: I also got the impression that the injury wasn't so severe, but the girl does mention that Ham spent "hours" looking for Superman without getting medical attention, so that didn't help.]

The smoke is well used as a framing device for the dream sequences, as both the cause of the hallucinations, and a good way of demonstrating the dream like quality that feverish fantasy lends.  The panel of a majestic Lex II is particularly well done.

The best panel in the book might be on page 16, where an enraged Superman flies Lex II up up and away, and Lex’s roses fall to Earth, giving a real sense of height and motion. 

The pages where Superman puts Hamilton’s cure into action are great, as Superman soars into action, and creates a water spout to deliver the cure.

Finally, I always love seeing the Mignola-designed Kryptonian battle suit in action, and it’s an efficient piece of storytelling that Lex picked it up when it was just abandoned on the harbour in the "Reign of the Superman" storyline.

I’m not generally a fan of dream sequences as I often find them to be indulgent writing, and also inconsequential plotting—they rarely mean anything more than actual dreams do.  But this issue on the whole wasn’t as frustrating as some fever dream issues can be, as Karl Kesel deftly uses Superman’s nightmarish doubts to fuel action that did matter to the plot.

SPEEDING BULLETS:

Though the film is decades away, the alien infected soldiers from Jeff Scully’s chemically induced reverie look for all the world like the Orcs from the unrelentingly terribly 2017 movie from future terrible Superman writer Max Landis, Bright.

I can’t remember a time when a one-off character got so many name mentions as Jeff Scully, who gets identified no fewer than three times in the book.  I wonder if it was a buddy of Karl Kesel’s perhaps.  [Max: Since he's obsessed with aliens, I always took it as a little X-Files shout out.]

Then on the other end of the spectrum, we’re introduced to the lady in the headband who pulls a Thelma and Louise off a pier with Professor Hamilton, but in spite of having pages of dialogue, is never given a name, that I can find.

The “baker to alpha” soldier is a dead ringer for Pork Chop Hill era Gregory Peck, in my estimation.

I’m not entirely sure who I’d cast as Emil Hamilton, but in the final pages of this story, he looks a lot like Awakenings era Robin Williams to me.

I had forgotten exactly how Hamilton lost his arm, I just remember that he suddenly had a robot arm.  It’s a bit odd that a high tech character like him loses his arm to plain old gunfire.   

Am I alone in being confused why the toxin was able to affect Superman’s super-efficient system?  Though he needs to breathe, traditionally, he’d never show much vulnerability to gases in past stories. [Max: I guess it's possible that Lex intentionally designed it to be strong enough to affect Superman, and the military rejected it when they were like "uh, why does the budget include a $100 million 'Kryptonian respiratory system research' item...?"]

GODWATCH:  A very overt reference to the almighty from our Holocaust survivor elderly man, thanking both God and Superman for dispelling the fear toxin—complete with a literal and symbolic rainbow after the storm.

One wonders if Lex’s weaponized fear toxin was in any way based off of Batman villain Scarecrow’s concoction.  Seems like a missed opportunity, though it’s a pretty jam packed issue. 

[foulfowledfool]

too many concepts in my brain. help

see below the cut for more elaboration cuz poll options dont let me write alot :((

1. (N/A) A cosmic entity beyond the mortal realm gets cast aside from the others for a wrongdoing it swears it didn't commit. It falls near one recently deceased Keiran Smith, who had just crashed his car into a tree. Not one to pass up opportunity, the cosmic entity possesses him, seeing his soul has left already. After a few miles of walking towards what it thinks is civilization, our story kicks off when it asks for a hospital at a local coffee shop.

2. (Binary Flesh) Dr. Raven is a lonely man. He's got it in his head that if he can't get anyone to keep him company, hell just MAKE the company! After months of research and preparation, he's finally created his plan; everything on the outside with be entirely human-grade flesh and bones. Everything. Except, he runs into an issue: the brain. See, he can't exactly create a brain. So he creates a computer that acts like the brain. After a while, he realizes that it's taking WAY too long, and devides, hey, if he makes the body smaller, he'll have it done earlier. So, instead, he makes himself a daughter.

3. (The Arcana Seer) A teen named Jonah is transported back in time before everything in the world went to shit. The Arcana Seer, a terrifying humanoid beast that takes power without mercy, is the foe he's tasked with stopping. Before that, though? He's got to find the host it took over: Sally Maxia. That's a bit hard, considering he's in a non-destroyed version of the world he once knew, 20 years in the past.

[zombiepillarz]

I would love to hear an overview of what MIOD is if you have one! I think I've seen all the designs before and they look wonderful but I desire to know the plot if there is any :]

THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS

I’ll try to explain it without any spoilers or going on needless tangents that I can do a post about…

Let’s set the scene

MIOD follows Marcel (Bee-Human hybrid with social AND anger issues) as he is taken out of his secure Navy position by his father, Zeppelin who runs the world organization called MIOD. MIOD (or Macrocosm Institution of Discovery) is an organization that handles all magic instances, whether it be rouge magical creatures or abuse of magic, but mostly all the world governments they work with mainly just want protection from their H-BOTS (a droid made to supervise towns and collect magic evidence and help in magical threat). MIOD in the current situation just researches, deals with national and foreign affairs and educates the masses on magic (and that they should just never use it) BUT THATS WHERE MARCEL COMES IN!!

Marcel is brought in by Zeppelin and he meets 3 other people, Jen Pham (A Freelance Mechanic who was hired after she fixed Zeppelin’s car at a record speed with perfection), Delilah Renee (An old friend of Marcel’s who used to be a child star for an educational tv show MIOD used to have) and Josefina Pond (a stay-at-home parent who mainly worked for MIOD from home, conducting research for clean energy and homeschooling), Marcel also meets Josefina’s 9 year old daughter, Stella but she is quickly sent to the MIOD daycare. Zeppelin explains that MIOD recently started getting slandered by a certain counter group called EToM for their not so clean image that was brought by the recent dangerous malfunctions of the H-Bots which is why he needs a human team to bring back trust and help out in situations that the H-Bots aren’t best suited to handle as the Discovery team!

Stella usually sneaks onto these missions, and no one knows how, especially in their first mission where they go to Europe and deal with an ancient fire breathing dragon (MIOD is a speculative fiction-)

Eventually in their first mission they end up meeting EToM. Even though EToM has hundreds of members all around the globe, the main 3 that Marcel and his team always run into are Elliot (EToM’s “team leader” who has robotic hands similar to an H-Bots), Anaya (the brawn of the team but the nicest one) William (a teenage vampiric bat who just follows his team around) and a hacked H-BOT (named a “E-BOT”, controlled by 2 people named Akrosa and Urvashi). Elliot especially holds a grief over Marcel for “choosing” to be a leader for MIOD, and they become enemies. MIOD wins in defeating the dragon, but they now have to deal with EToM now- (and that’s basically the start of MIOD)

That’s all I am going to explain FOR NOW, as I slowly start to roll out MIOD art, animatics and comics, as there are some things that aren’t what they seem by first read.

If you still have any MIOD Discourse related questions or you want to ask a specific OC, PLEASE ASK!! 

Here are their refs but keep in mind THESE ARE GETTING REDRAWN, but they are keeping their main elements

Yes furries (Marcel, Urvashi, William and Jaya) are normal members of society, not actual animals who live in the wild or captivity. They aren’t really magical creatures but some (aka all) are classified (By MIOD) as such since they “aren’t exactly human in physical traits or behaviors”, For Example, William needs to consume blood as a normal part if his diet, and Urvashi and Jaya have sharper teeth and great agility/flexibility (yeah you can see what is about to happen-) ask to know more (although it will be really hard to explain this whole system)

[ersaersa-ersaelectronics]

BAT54 Series: The Tiny Star Guarding Our Tech Planets

A Meeting in the Circuit Desert

When I first wandered into the desert of old circuit boards and forgotten gadgets, I thought all diodes were like the ones I’d seen—loud, flashy, and eager to shout about their power. But then I spotted it: a small, unassuming shape, half-buried in sand, smaller than a Tic Tac.

“You’re… very small,” I said, kneeling. “And you’re a child who talks to diodes,” it replied, its surface glinting faintly. “But some stars are brightest when they’re tiny. Ask the fox.”

1. What Is a BAT54? (Not a Villain, Just a Guardian)

This wasn’t just silicon and metal—it was a BAT54 series diode, a Schottky hero in an SOT-23 suit. Let me decode its story:

Variants: BAT54, BAT54A, BAT54C, BAT54S. Each is like a different flower on a single planet—same roots, unique blooms.

Specs:

Voltage: 30-40V reverse—laughs at your Wi-Fi rage, steadier than a baobab’s trunk.

Speed: 5-15ns switching—faster than the fox darting across the desert.

Low Drop: 0.3-0.8V forward voltage—sips power like a hummingbird, not a thirsty camel.

Size: Smaller than a Tic Tac, tougher than Monday mornings.

Fun Fact: Engineers call it the “Tech Cockroach.” It survives toddler tantrums, Martian dust, and even your “quick fix” with a butter knife. Volcanoes? It shrugs.

“Why so tough?” I asked. “Because the universe needs guardians,” it said. “Even small ones.”

2. Tiny, But Mightier Than Most

On its home planet (Earth), the BAT54 isn’t just a diode—it’s a secret. While flashy chips flex AI muscles, this $0.05 star does the real work:

Speed: 5ns (Usain Bolt mode) vs. generic diodes’ 100ns (sloth energy). It’s the fox to their tortoise.

Efficiency: 0.3V voltage drop (sipping power) vs. 0.7V (guzzling like a cactus in rain).

Price: $0.05 (change from a latte) vs. $0.02 (penny-pincher bait). Worth every cent.

“Why not be bigger?” I asked. “Big things break,” it said. “Tiny things fit. In smartwatches. In pacemakers. In Mars rovers.”

3. The Guardian of a Thousand Planets

From your wrist to the stars, the BAT54 guards:

Consumer Tech (Your Daily Planet): Powers smartwatches that outlast your gym motivation. Survives TV remote juice spills (because couch potatoes are ruthless). It’s the invisible hand keeping your world ticking.

Industrial & Medical (The Healer’s Planet): In pacemakers, it keeps hearts steady as a Pensieve. In factory robots, it works 24/7 without complaining—no unionizing, just loyalty.

Space & Automotive (The Cosmic Planet): In satellites, it laughs at cosmic radiation (SD cards cry). In EVs, it stops Teslas from becoming fire memes. Even Elon needs its magic.

Retro Gaming (The Nostalgia Planet): Saves your God of War progress in PSP mods. RIP UMD discs, but the BAT54? It remembers.

“Do you get lonely?” I asked. “No,” it said. “I’m everywhere. In your watch, in your car, in the stars. Loneliness is for roses that forget they’re loved.”

4. The Secret Sauce: Clamping & Protecting

The BAT54S (two diodes in one) is the fox of the bunch—clever, quick, and a master of boundaries.

Voltage Clamping: Limits spikes to 0.7V—no “fried microcontroller” surprises. It’s like a fence around a garden, keeping storms out.

Reverse Polarity Protection: Stops your DIY project from becoming a smoke machine. Think of it as a Protego shield for circuits.

Pro Tip: Use it for ESD protection. Static shock isn’t a personality trait—it’s just bad manners.

5. How to Find Your BAT54 (Avoid the Baobab Sellers)

In 2025, choose wisely—no dodgy baobab sellers:

Legit Sources: Digi-Key, Ersa Electronics, or eBay sellers with 4.9 stars (the ones who water their roses).

Price Alert: Generic diodes cost $0.02, but they’re like unwatered cacti—prickly and short-lived. BAT54? $0.05, but it’s a star, not a pebble.

Roast Alert: Generic Diode: “I’m cheaper!” BAT54: “I’m in space. You’re in a gas station flashlight. Bye.” 🚀

The Secret of the Tiny Star

The BAT54 isn’t flashy. It doesn’t need a name in lights or a viral meme. It’s the kind of friend you remember when your TV remote works, or your pacemaker ticks, or a Mars rover sends back photos.

“What makes you special?” I asked, as I left. It didn’t answer. It just sat there, quiet as the desert, as the stars, as time itself.

And I realized—some stars don’t need to be big. They just need to shine.

Written by a wanderer who once mistook a BAT54 for a Tic Tac. (Spoiler: It didn’t taste good. But it powered a toy robot. Close enough.)

🌵 You become responsible, forever, for the stars you once overlooked.

[cannibal-nightmares]

sharing this with you all for perspective and also as a processing method for myself

being schizophrenic can be described by the time I bought a small air dehumidifier for my bathroom. the appliance in the box was fine and normal, it wasn't until I tried to take it out was something Wrong, something was Bad--the thing felt like it was living somehow and that was supremely Not Good; the logic part of my brain (and, truly, god bless I still have any semblance of logic still thriving and kicking) thought annoyedly, "Ugh, not this again, it's an inanimate object," but it will never ever be enough to override the inherent paranoid delusion completely. So they fought, the two sides, and when logic stands a fighting chance, the only way I can get through something is by shouting over the noise... and in this case, it was at a dehumidifier. I managed to get it out of the box all while yelling at it--which may sound like absolutely nothing, but this circumstance was actually huge for me--put it on the floor, and... Walked away. Backed away. I was too scared to plug it in, and this isn't telling the whole of the story: If remember correctly, I think I ended up crying because my hands felt "tainted" after touching the thing, and I was getting so worked up and annoyed because the only self-soothing that helps is your stereotyped incoherent rambling, and I often mitigate the shouting by forcing stressed out laughter which just makes it all seem worse, frankly. I left the dehumidifier on the floor until the next morning when I was able to plug it in and use it; I still to this day struggle to empty out the water carafe and I can't directly look at it, but at the very least I can use it for its functionality.

never thought I'd admit to this story, but I just woke up to my smoke detector beeping because the battery must be dying. the beeping bothers me way less than I would have othewise imagined, but instead of removing and replacing the battery myself, I have to call the landlord to do it for me. I have to. I set up a stool to do it myself, and my head just started swarming. And that shit is louder than any fire alarm chirping. it feels like a swarming, like pressure, like someone shouting at you to get out of the way of an oncoming car fifty times over. it's like standing next to a blaring firetruck at a parade. it feels like There Is No Worse Consequence Than This, like somehow my consciousness will be overridden if I touch the smoke detector, if I get too close to it, if I think about it at a specific angle for too long.

and I try to talk to people about my paranoia, but they don't understand there is no reason to be had. "You're right, the beeping is very loud and kind of scary," they might say. "You don't have to worry about electrocution," they might consider, "it's just a battery." It's like the instance I was having a hard time at work and asked my co-worker if a customer's service dog was real and I was replied to with, "I hope so! A robot dog would be spooky!" it has nothing to do with the physical logic at all, but absurdity like "if I fix the fire alarm myself, magically the next door neighbor will be able to read my mind" and etc beyond etc. And it may sound silly, but that's the point, that's the problem, and it's just as real as the sky is blue.

anyways im not telling this tale for pity, but, again, to offer perspective. This ish robs you of your autonomy in the most jarring and absurd ways and all I can do is laugh through it. What makes it such a monster to deal with--at least for me--is that working through the logic doesn't seem to do a damn thing. So I really do have to force myself to rely on others in times like this, and it's infinitely more difficult when your brain decides that others are the enemy, as well, even when they never had been before.

[realmackross]

PARTIES: @ignxta, @realmackross TIMING: The night of September 8th. SUMMARY: Chai comes over for a two person pity party with Mackenzie that leads to a trip to the Serpent Flats where things don't go quite as planned...Hang on kids, you're in for a wild ride. WARNINGS: Substance abuse tw (has heavy mentions of alcohol throughout), mental health tw, murder mention tw, unsanitary tw (just in case)

The sleepover had been a literal nightmare. Unfortunately, Mackenzie couldn’t really remember what happened, since she was the one creating all of the chaos. But when she had come back around, she knew that something really bad had taken place. Now was damage control time. What did people know and not know? What were they going to say outside of the sleepover? Would the media find out? Her mind raced with all kinds of thoughts filled with the worst of the what ifs that eventually led to the woman needing a break from it all. A distraction. Reckless or not at this point, she didn’t care. She just needed to make the thoughts stop.

“Dippin’ Dots and alcohol.”

Sending Chai a text, Mackenzie invited him over to finish off the treat he had brought to the sleepover. Of course by the time she had sent the text, she was already half a bottle down on vodka and ten cups in on the Dippin’ Dots she couldn’t even taste. But at this point it didn’t matter. She couldn’t promise there would be any left when he got there, but she’d surely try. The alcohol, on another hand, was a different story.

—

Chaisai was…confused. That was the easiest way to word how he was feeling. The events of the party were clearly some kind of trick, maybe this was the way the Allgoods hazed their new members? It didn’t have to make sense to him. But maybe he had overreacted a bit–or underreacted, it was still foggy on what kind of decision this had been–and touched the Abnormal Crystal and now he was experiencing some new side effects that hadn’t been present before. The Abnormality, or something encased within it, seemed to want control over his body. He didn’t mind that much. Mostly it felt like it wanted him to keep going to Bleak Point, which was easier said than done. But perhaps he could bring company. So when Mack had asked him to come over for Dippin’ Dots and alcohol, who was he to deny her?

His car rumbled up to her Barbie Nightmare House for the second time and Chai awkwardly swung his body out of his car and headed up to her door. Getting his movements right when he was fighting for the controls led to his gait being slightly stiff. He felt a little robotic, a little like a…maybe zombie was not the right descriptor here, if Mack wanted to give him that story. Chaisai stood at her doorstep for a moment, considering just walking in, before he shot Mack a quick text that only said here.

—

Mackenzie heard her phone go off with the notification from her doorbell camera and the text that Chai had sent. She could already feel the tiniest of buzzes, but still not enough to do any real damage. She would soon fix that though, especially now that she had someone to party with.

With the bottle in her hand, she made her way to the front door to let her new friend in. Of course, she wasn’t entirely sure if they were friends after the events at the sleepover. All she knew was that he was giving her the time of day, and if it meant she had someone to get drunk with and eat ice cream with, that was okay. Plus, he had said something about her touching his rock, and it having magical powers. Just like everything else in Wicked’s Rest, it had sounded ridiculous, but what else did she have to lose? Besides, it’s not like it could probably really do anything to her. Mack was a zombie and it was a rock, “Hey Chai. So glad you could make it to my pity party of one. Your Dippin’ Dots are in the freezer and there’s alcohol on the counter, but I call dibs on the three bottles of vodka.”

—

Chaisai smiled when the door swung open. “Hi, Barbie. It’s good to see you looking so full of life. So vivacious today.” He wasn’t joking. She did look better than the last time he’d seen her. The contacts were gone, her head was back in its correct position, and really, what more could he ask? “Hey, a pity party is still a party.” He squinted at Mack at the comment about the vodka and his eyes scanned her with scrutiny. “You can handle three bottles?” he asked, his disbelief evident in his tone. Probably some kind of wicked celebrity party thing, he figured.

Still, he needed no second prompt before he was brushing past Mack and headed to the kitchen. His movements still felt unnatural, but he hoped he looked normal. Something about touching the Crystal had changed him, but he couldn’t figure out what exactly was happening or why. Reaching for a bottle, his hand jerked, nearly sending the bottle crashing to the ground. He managed to snatch it before disaster, and exhaled with a laugh. “Knock yourself out with the vodka,” he said as he began to pour his own glass. “I don’t think I’ll need three bottles.”

—

Full of life? Mack was surprised to hear that, but she’d take the compliment. It was better than feeling dead on the inside and out, “Thanks, Ken. And you are right about that. I’ve even got My Chemical Romance playing in the background.” She stepped back from the door so he could come in, “I could probably handle a lot more, but we’ll start with three.” She hadn’t tried drinking herself into oblivion yet, but tonight they would possibly find out. Like licking a Tootsie Roll Pop, except how many drinks does it take for a zombie to get wasted.

Mackenzie shut the door behind him and followed along as he went to the kitchen, only to see disaster averted, “Damn. Sharp reflexes. Good job, Ken. If only you could have caught me like that the other night.” She had wondered if he still didn’t believe what she was, but shook that thought when she went to grab more Dippin’ Dots and another unopened bottle, “So what’s the plan? Eat, drink, and be merry or was there something else you wanted to do? Anything but mattress surfing.” She didn’t want round three, especially if it involved Chai with some fava beans and a nice chianti, which she had downstairs with the rest of the wine.

—

“I don’t see how you could handle three by yourself–that’s, what, 80 proof?–but sure, I’d like to see you try,” Chaisai had already resigned himself to taking care of Mack tonight, should the pity party take a turn for the worse. It’s what he would hope a friend would do for him, and he figured Mack was as close to a friend as he had right now, despite the whole sleepover thing. 

The mention of the sleepover made Chaisai purse his lips. “How could I have caught you?” he asked carefully. “I think you would’ve broke my bones. Besides, you’re okay now, right?” He turned to look at her, confusion written across his face. “I mean, you look okay now…” He let himself trail off. Maybe she’d finally explain what that whole thing was about. Or maybe she’d just keep up the story about zombies. “The plan? I guess we can clean up some of these Dippin’ Dots. Definitely drink. No mattress surfing, but did you still want to go to Serpent’s Flat? I could get us a Lyft.” He took a sip of his drink, quietly watching Mack’s face for any reaction.

—

Mackenzie wasn’t being very discreet in holding her alcohol, but she knew Chai had been there. If he found out again, what was the worst that could happen? It would just prove that she was never lying to him. Plus, if they wanted to have fun, it was going to take copious amounts. It’s not like alcohol poison was a thing for her anymore. She had easily started to learn that after coming to Wicked’s Rest, “Challenge accepted.”

Walking over to the counter, she pulled out one of the chairs and sat down, her fresh bottle and Dippin’ Dots placed in front of her and ready for consumption, “It was more of a joke, but yeah, you’re right. I probably would have crushed you.” She looked down for a minute, her mind flashing back to the sound of her neck cracking for the second time in her undead life. There was no doubt that Mackenzie probably had PTSD from all she had seen and done, but she was an actress, and she had a part to play, even if it was only to help her make it through another long day of being dead.

Mack let her eyes move back up to meet his, “That sounds pretty solid. And yeah, I do. I’m still intrigued by the fact that a rock can apparently make weird things happen. So yeah. Let’s eat, drink, and be merry, and then you can show me what the big deal is about your rock.” She opened her new cup of Dippin’ Dots which looked almost like Dippin’ Sauce and decided to just pour the thick, creamy liquid back like a shot.

—

Making a note to locate ibuprofen or something later, Chaisai briefly wondered if they would even make it to the Abnormality. Something inside him twisted impatiently at the thought, and he resigned himself to making the trip happen before Mack could finish the challenge of three bottles. He went into the freezer and grabbed a cup of Dippin’ Dots for himself–Ultimate Brownie Batter, the clear winner of the available flavors–and went to sit beside Mack. 

“Look,” he started, noticing how poorly his response had landed. “If I could be your knight in shining armor the other night, I sure would have, but I don’t think anyone was expecting that. Least of all your lamp.” He gestured vaguely to the end table where a lamp should reside, hoping to lighten the mood at least a little. Maybe Mack was just a really good actor, or maybe things were more complicated than they seemed. She looked to be taking this harder than he’d expect for a prank, unless it was because it had really blown up in her face. The little stunt did end the sleepover early, after all. 

A shiver of elation mixed with indignance ran up Chaisai’s spine at Mack’s words. On one hand, he was glad that she’d acquiesced to his plan, and the words your rock felt like a badge of pride. But something deeper inside him scoffed at how she could doubt the power of the Abnormality. Chaisai tried to keep his face a perfect, placid mask and he nodded. “Don’t cast your doubts just yet,” he chided with a smile. “The Abnormality is not just any rock. It’s so much more than that.”

—

Mackenzie swallowed the Dippin’ Dots soup and sat the cup back down on the counter, “Honestly, I didn’t expect it either. Not to be pushed over a railing by a mattress.” She could tell that Chaisai was still in denial, but it was fine. To each their own. Besides, she was just glad someone wanted to spend time with her after everything that had happened. But what was it about the lamp? She still wasn’t sure. Winter had mentioned something about it after everyone had left, but it meant nothing. Glancing over, she noticed the table was bare and needed something. Maybe she’d go shopping online or try to find something in town, “Speaking of, what’s the deal about the lamp anyways? I knew it got knocked off the table, but it seems like you’re not the only person who’s made a big deal out of it. It’s just a lamp…” She turned her attention back to Chai.

While she waited for his answer, Mackenzie unscrewed the cap on the vodka, and took a long slow drink barely feeling the burn as it slipped down her throat. When she was satisfied, she sat the bottle back down, “Well, whenever you’re ready, to take me to the, what’d you call it? Abnormality? I’m ready. I’ve never, in my life, wanted to touch someone’s rock as much as yours so lead the way.” If they were Ubering, the vodka was coming with her. She needed the buzz, because honestly, going to see some flat piece of land that was supposed to be magical sounded like something out of a movie she once auditioned for a very, very, very long time ago.

—

“Yeah, I’d expect to be pushed over a railing by a close friend who is secretly an enemy or enemies to lovers to enemies, maybe. But no one ever suspects the mattress,” Chaisai said, shaking his head slowly. “You hate to see it.” Was humor the way to cope here? He couldn’t tell from Mack’s vibe if she was at that point with it, or if she was taking this more seriously. He took a mighty swig of vodka and tried not to cringe before he chased it down with a bite of Dippin’ Dots. Honestly, it didn’t help much, but it was anything at all. How could Mack chug it like water? She was on another level, clearly, and he’d have to play catch up. 

“Oh, the lamp?” he said, regretting bringing it up. Milo had explained it was due to his wizard magic, but Chaisai wasn’t sure if that was the kind of thing someone kept secret or not. “The lamp, yeah,” he said, stalling for a moment as he thought up a story. “I dunno what happened, but I think when you, uh–,” was there a polite way to phrase this? “–when you took your little tumble, I think someone jumped and bumped it. Cleaned it up, of course, but yeah. I felt bad, because you were, er, indisposed.” That was the kindest way he could think to say it without using words like beefed it, or fucking died, or any audio descriptors. “It was a nice lamp,” Chaisai said, shrugging. He took another bite of Dippin’ Dots before he had to say anything more on the subject. 

“Oh, yeah. Hold on.” Chaisai pulled out his phone and went about ordering their rideshare to take them to Serpent’s Flat. “It says they’ll be here in 10.” He took another swig, longer this time, and couldn’t help from cringing. A shiver ran down his spine and he had to take another bite of his ice cream again. “I don’t know how you’re doing that. Vodka sucks bad.” As Mack started talking about the Abnormality, a devilish smile spread across Chai’s face. “You wanna touch my rock? Bro, you could’ve said anything and you chose to word it like that?” He laughed, shaking his head again. “That’s sus as hell.”

—

“The mattress. The real silent and deadly killer. Would make for a great movie. Maybe I should write a script for it, since I have so much time on my hands now.” She let a soft snort leave her lips, but was secretly heartbroken at the idea of not being able to make movies anymore. Change had always been hard for Mackenzie, but all the change that had happened within the last couple of years had been the worst thing she had ever experienced.

She watched him fumble through the story of the lamp, so immediately her mind went to it, too, being the victim of supernatural shenanigans. “Well, I appreciate the mess being cleaned up. It was a nightmare cleaning up all the Barbie decorations after everyone left. And I’ll be honest, I didn’t really make much of an effort until probably a week later. I don’t think I ever want to see the color pink again.” Mack shuddered at the thought and topped it off with a drink from the uncapped bottle.

“Ten minutes and then I get to see what all the fuss is about.” Mackenzie finished off the rest of the liquid, before screwing the cap back on, “I guess I’m just used to it, but clearly it looks like you’re not from that face you just made.” She laughed. Grabbing the empty bottle, she got up from her chair and went back to grab another unopened one, “I’ve got jokes okay? I’m not just Double D Barbie…Depressed and Dead. But no, really. How bad can this thing be? I’ve touched lots of rocks before.” She narrowed her eyes at him, “Not like that, btw, and nothing has ever happened. Are you finished with the Dippin’ Dots?” If they were about to leave, she was going to at least straighten up the kitchen before they left. Melted Dots and empty liquor bottles was not something she wanted to clean up when she got home from their exciting night of touching flat, hard mounds of the Earth’s creation.

—

“Isn’t there some wild percentage of people who die in bed? Maybe the statistics are wrong and it’s really about people who die by bed.” Chaisai had questions that lingered on his lips. If Mack was still feeling sensitive about the party as a whole, swearing off pink and all, how could he just ask her outright? He licked his lips and pressed them into a thin line. “I don’t…,” he paused, finding the right words. “I don’t really understand what happened that night. Like, a lot of wild shit popped off all at the same time. I’m just trying to wrap my brain around it. But like…you’re like, I don’t know, Deadpool? Like the regeneration thing.” Maybe it was rude to ask so outright, but he had to know, had to understand. 

“Hey, if we ever have another killer party and you need a hand, just shout. Scout’s honor.” He scooped up the last few bites and passed Mack the empty cup. “How do you get used to that? No chaser?” Maybe she could do the whole three bottles thing. Chaisai took another long swig, immediately regretting having finished his Dippin’ Dots. He shuddered with a shake of his head. “You’re built different, you know that?” 

Standing up to clear off the counter with Mack, Chai could feel the little rush to his head. He wondered if the Crystal was feeling it, too. Would it be easier or harder to keep himself in line? He didn’t ponder it long, tuning back into the present moment as Mack spoke. “Oh. I thought Double D Barbie—another incredible way to phrase things—but I thought it might stand for Dippin’ Dots. Can I be Double D Ken? Am I Kenough for that?” 

—

Mack narrowed her eyes and thought for a moment about what Chai had said, “You probably have a point. But it would hurt bed frame and mattress sales, so they spin it to make it fit their propaganda.” Mattress conspiracy theories. If this was any clue to where the night was going, it was going to be quite interesting. And now she was being compared to Deadpool. “I hope I’m not as pretty as Deadpool.” She had thought it had been pretty obvious, but she could tell he was struggling with the idea of the supernatural. Hell, she was too, and she WAS supernatural, “I can see the gears spinning, and I wasn’t lying when I told you what I was. Trust me. It makes no sense to me either. But at this point, if you want to think I’m Ryan Reynolds, then be my guest.”

Snagging the empty cup from Chai, she tossed it in the trash can, along with the empty bottles of vodka, “Honestly, I don’t want to experience another killer party for a long fucking time.” Wetting a few paper towels Mackenzie began wiping down the counters. When she was finished, she snagged the last unopened bottle she had originally gone for, before the distraction of cleaning came about. With her attention back on Chai, she grinned, “Nope, no chaser.” She leaned in closer towards him, “I’ll let you in on a little secret, “I can barely taste anything, so yeah, I would say I am built different.” Mackenzie straightened back up, before walking back around to the other side of the counter to sit next to Chai again.

“You okay there? You look a little wobbly.” If he wasn’t feeling the greatest, they could go to the Flats another time. Mackenzie wasn’t going to make Chai go somewhere if he didn’t feel good, “We can do this another time if you’re not feeling it. And my mom and dad always said I had a way with words. But of course. What is Barbie without her bestie Ken? I’d say you’re Kenough.” She gave him a good firm pat on the back.

—

“You’re definitely prettier than Deadpool. The costume would be a nice touch, though. You ever considered a life of fighting crime?” Joking about it made it easier for Chaisai to wrap his brain around the concept. This was the stuff of comics, not real life. Yet here they were, face to face, and he was pretty sure this was real. “This is a weird town, you know? I didn’t think it could get zombie levels weird, but it surprises me daily.” There were questions he wanted to ask, but if Mack was grappling with her reality already, he didn’t want to make things weird. 

Chaisai scooted out of Mack’s way as she cleaned up the kitchen, but lingered there, feeling like he should be helping in some way. “Hey,” he said, with a smile he hoped was reassuring. “If anything like that ever happens again, at least I could be more helpful next time.” God, he hoped there wasn’t a next time. The thought of the sound of Mack’s neck snapping made his stomach flip, but he maintained his composure. If he thought about it, that night was really something for everyone involved. He would rather not think about it. Mack leaning in pulled his brain back to the present. “You can’t taste anything?” Chaisai repeated, surprised. “Man, I thought you were maybe just some hard ass, Hollywood party girl. Nope, just Deadpool.”

The suggestion that they didn’t need to go to the Abnormality sent a surge of emotion through Chaisai’s chest. His brow furrowed and he shook his head. “No,” he said, a little too firmly. “I’m good, just don’t have the Deadpool tolerance.” He tried to force a smile again, but it looked out of place. “Come on Barbie, let’s go party.” 

—

Mackenzie acted bashful when Chai complimented her about being prettier than Deadpool, “Awww, you’re sweet. I do like a good costume, especially the ones that really sell that you’re about to kick somebody’s ass? You know, I haven’t, but maybe if I had a solid partner to help kick some bad guy ass I would.” Being a vigilante superhero seemed like a fun idea now that it had been brought up. It’s not like much could really mess with the young actress anymore. Even bullets wouldn’t stop her…well, as far as she assumed, but she didn’t want to find out anytime soon. “It is a weird town. But I’m just glad I’m actually starting to make friends, like you, the official Ken of Wicked’s Rest.”

With everything finished up, the only thing left to do was wait for the car, “I appreciate the offer, but I’m pretty sure no one, you included, wants to see that happen again.” Mackenzie hated not being in control of her body, and more so not being in control and not remembering what she did when the hunger took over. It had been a scary experience every time it happened, and one she could stand doing without ever again. “Not anymore, nope.” She narrowed her eyes, “Hey! I’m still a hard ass, Hollywood party girl. Plus, I’m sure Deadpool would love being called that, so ha! And where do you think these dark circles came from under my eyes? Not from a regular 8 hours of sleep, thank you very much..”

Mackenzie raised an eyebrow when Chai returned a hard no, “Somebody’s determined to go spend time with their favorite rock…Now where’s the damn uber? I’m not getting any younger. And I refuse to open this third bottle, until we’re standing at your favorite place in Wicked’s Rest, toasting its weirdness.”

—

“I think you’d look kickass in a Deadpool costume, kicking ass.” Chai laughed at the thought, imagining Mack fighting bad boy zombies. “I personally think I’d rock a pair of tights, but I’m not much of sidekick material. I’m just a squishy little guy.” He didn’t think the Abnormality had afforded him any good powers. He couldn’t fly or see through walls or anything. It had only given him a sense of security that he couldn’t explain in words. It was like knowing something bigger than you had a plan, but not in a religious way. Mack calling him a friend caught him off guard. “Oh. Yeah, I agree. It’s easier to navigate the weird when you aren’t alone.” A pang of guilt tugged at him. He had had friends who touched the rock with him. They weren’t around anymore. But it wasn’t like the rock could kill a zombie, right? She was already dead. She survived a nasty fall, what was the worst that could happen? 

“Damn, if I’d known that I would’ve at least brought something I could drink without a chaser,” Chaisai teased. “How am I ever going to compete with Hollywood’s best zombie party girl?” Only zombie party girl? He wasn’t sure. That thought could wait until he was awake in the middle of the night. It was too existential right now. His phone vibrated at that moment, and he checked it to see the rideshare driver coming down the street towards the house. “Speak of the devil,” he said. He offered Mack a hand. “Shall we? I hope you’ll at least think my favorite rock is cool. There’s a whole chunk of town buried underneath and no one really knows how or why this happened. If it’s not cool in any other way, at least it’s a miracle of nature. What more can a guy ask for?”

—

“You know what would look good in a Deadpool costume? My butt. I’ve worked hard for this ass, and just because I might fall apart a little, every now and then, Barbie’s gonna keep her damn ass.” Mackenzie had wanted light and funny. She needed it. Chai probably needed it. Everything about Wicked’s Rest had seemed so heavy at times, and a night of not thinking had been exactly what she had needed, “Hey, first. You said sidekick, not me. And squishy and little doesn’t mean shit. Some of the best stunt people I’ve worked with were squishy and little and could take a fall like nobody’s business. Maybe I can show you a few things one day, you know, when neither of us have been drinking.” Perhaps the alcohol was getting to her a little more than she thought, but if it made her a little happier for the evening, what was the harm? At least she’d be making good memories with someone she felt she could trust.

“I think I have some soda, water, and Bodyarmor in the fridge. Uh, and there is a bottle of wine. Oh, and Fireball, if that’s your thing. It’s usually my thing, because it’s the only thing I can taste. I know it’s not vodka, but at least you don’t have to chase it?” Mackenzie shot Chai an uneasy smile. “Yeah, more like Hollywood's pariah. But they don’t need to know that.” She was both relieved and excited that their ride had made it, and with a cold, dead hand gladly took Chai’s, “Wait, you didn’t tell me there was actually an unknown part of Wicked’s Rest buried underneath. That just made the curiosity factor go up tenfold. So you’re getting a mystery and nature’s beauty all wrapped into one? I can maybe start to see why you like it so much, but I won’t know until we actually get there.” She proceeded to move forward making sure to lock the house behind them as they made their way to the car.

—

Chaisai couldn’t not look respectfully. He glanced at Mack’s ass briefly and nodded. “Hell, yeah, Barbie. Keep up the good work.” He couldn’t keep from cracking a smile and chuckling. It felt stupid to be drunk, telling his zombie friend she had a nice ass before they did something reckless. He felt stupid, but he was having fun. That counted as a win in his book. “Nah, I think squishy and little is my downfall. Maybe you can show me how to make it my up…fall. But I think my crime fighting tactic right now is to tuck tail and run.” Truthfully, he hadn’t been put in any crime fighting scenarios, but when fight or flight kicked in, he’d want to choose the latter.

“Water?” he asked, as the options were being listed. “Water and vodka? Nah, bestie. But I’ll grab a soda.” Chaisai opened the fridge and grabbed a soda. He scanned the rest of the fridge briefly for any ominous Tupperware containers of brains, but abandoned the search quickly and returned to Mack’s side. Taking her hand, he was surprised it was this cold, but he didn’t comment on it. “Can’t spell party girl without…well, actually pariah doesn’t really fit in there, does it?” He shrugged. “You can be Wicked’s Rest’s party girl now.” Following her out to the car, he nodded as she spoke. “Yeah, it’s like natural phenomena, and history, and weird all in one package. What’s not to like?”

—

Mack was glad Chai had grabbed a drink to go. It wouldn’t be fun drinking alone, even if it was the saddest two person rager known to man. Letting go of his hand, she opened the door and climbed in the back seat, “Up Fall. Don’t think that slipped past me or the compliment about my ass.” She slid over in the seat catching the reaction of the driver’s face in the rearview mirror and stifled a laugh. “At least let me show you some basic self defense moves.” Mackenzie looked over to her friend. In this town, there was no telling who you would have to defend yourself from, and though she hadn’t put those that she cared about in a very good situation, she still wanted them to be safe, even if it meant against her.

“Wicked’s Rest’s party girl. I suppose it’s got a nice ring to it. Plus, it’s a little more private.” Mackenzie shrugged, before looking back up to the driver, “Take us to see his package - I mean, his natural phenomena…Shit.” What was the name? Rocks…Fl- “Flats. The Serpent Flats, please.” She let her eyes move back to Chai, “So maybe my limit is two bottles. Might not need this one afterall.” Raising it up, Mackenzie let out an uneasy laugh.

—

 “It’s a nice ass, what do you want me to say? You know it’s a nice ass,” Chaisai said, climbing in the back behind Mack. “Would you not call running away self defense? I think that should be the first lesson in any self defense class.” He buckled up and greeted the driver quietly. Surely you had to hear weird things as a rideshare driver in this town, but their conversation was certainly bold. Chai couldn’t find it in himself to feel embarrassed or to censor himself. 

He nodded along with Mack again. “That’s what I’m saying. Hollywood is too broad scope, but Wicked’s Rest is a nice fit, right?” Mack was opening her mouth and inserting her foot before Chaisai could get a word in to save her. “Your parents are right,” he said, smirking. “You really do have a way with words.” He had ordered this rideshare through an app, and the driver certainly knew where they were going, but Chaisai didn’t mention anything. “Does this mean I win? If you’re tapping out here, I think I win. I knew three was too much for any person or, well, any–,” he cut himself off, looking at the driver, then to Mack, then back at the driver. “Any Hollywood party girl,” he said, mentally kicking himself for the near slip up.

—

“I know. I’m humble about everything else in my life, but my ass cause I worked hard for that bitch.” Yeah, she was definitely starting to feel a little more tipsy. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, but it’s not like she could get sick right? She was dead. “I mean, I guess. But what if you get cornered? What are you gonna do then? You can’t run, because you’re trapped.” Mackenzie knew this guy was going to have a story, but that was okay, as long as he didn’t know who she was.

Sinking down in her seat a little, Mackenzie tried to hide herself from the driver’s judging looks as best she could, “I’m starting to wonder if it is, since my foot is currently residing in my mouth. At least there’s no paparazzi waiting around every corner.” She looked out the window watching as the driver pulled away from her house. There had been times in her past, before being a part of the undead, where she had been caught in some awkward tipsy situations and this had been very reminiscent of it. However, Chai claiming that he won caught her attention and ripped her back to her current reality, “Yeah, no. I don’t think that’s right. I still downed two whole bottles, and who knows? The night’s still young. Give it time.” Luckily, she hadn’t caught his little slip up, which kept the mood light for her. The last thing she had wanted was some rando knowing what she was and spouting off to his buddies, even if it did sound preposterous.

—

Chaisai laughed. “You should be proud. Screw being humble, who said you had to do that?” Perhaps it was a celebrity thing, where you had to take fame with grace. But what was the point now if she was dead and thousands of miles away from the flashing lights and the big screen? “Ew, I don’t want to think about that.” Chaisai said, wrinkling his nose. “I don’t want to be cornered, but maybe that’s when my superpowers will kick in. Under pressure I’ll turn into Spiderman or something. This town is weird enough, stranger things have happened.” There was a part of him that hoped that maybe the Abnormality had something hidden in store for him, but he felt no reaction as he spoke. As the car drew nearer to the Serpent’s Flats, though, the familiar longing ache and the hum inside his core was back. Like a well worn sweatshirt, it brought him a sense of comfort and warmth. 

Turning in his seat to face Mack better, Chai bit his lip, mulling over his question before he asked it. “Is it scary? The paparazzi always following you like that? I wouldn’t be able to feel truly alone, you know what I mean?” He glanced at the driver. Maybe this wasn’t the venue for this question to be asked, but what was the worst the driver could take away from this? He could see the headline now. Former movie star gets drunk in Maine and looks at rock. That was benign in his eyes.

“I’m counting it as an early victory,” he said smugly. “Even if the night is still young, I don’t see how you could possibly win at this rate. Not without ending the night with me carrying you.”

—

Chai was right. Mackenzie had tried to be humble and kind most of her life. Sometimes she was caught off guard if it had been a bad day, but she wasn’t in Hollywood anymore. Still, there had been something about being kind to those around her that Mack cherished. She had risen to the level of fame in part because people respected and liked her work. Fandom had been such a tricky thing, because humans were tricky and sensitive, “Kind of an unspoken rule, I suppose. But I guess you’re right. I’m not currently in the spotlight or being hounded for interviews.” She was still in the spotlight, but not for something good at the moment. But Chai didn’t need to know that. “See, you’d make a great Spiderman, and I would totally support you as being my local neighborhood spidey.” She smiled warmly at him, but something started to feel off, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Maybe the alcohol was starting to do more than just make her tipsy. Still, there was no time to worry. They were fine. She was fine.

His question for her quickly became a distraction to the funny feeling that was starting to take over her body. The paparazzi had been a tricky and sometimes intimidating part of her life to handle, “Yeah, it can be, especially if I go out on my own to do something. It’s like some of them hangout and just wait specifically for you, if they’ve caught a tip. Others just catch you in the wild. But the scariest thing is the people who see those pictures and study your routine getting this delusional idea in your head that they know you, just because they know what you do on a regular basis…” Her mood had dropped. She had been in some scary situations, because of the paparazzi, and she was grateful that was one thing Wicked’s Rest didn’t have, “I’d take monsters over people with cameras any day…” Mackenzie grew quiet and let her eyes drift past Chai and out the window into the night sky.

Mack was glad when the conversation went back to alcohol, and Chai’s delusional idea that he was going to be victorious, “You’re so on. I hope you like eating humble pie my friend.” A small smile spread back across her face.

—

Chaisai made a Spiderman gesture to mime web slinging, complete with sound effects. “Pschew!” The moment was short lived, however, as it seemed they were both putting their feet in their mouths. “Sorry,” he said, feeling guilty again. “I didn’t mean to be such a Debbie Downer, I’ve just never been famous or even close to it. It’s hard to put myself in your shoes, but that’s not the vibe tonight anyway.” Maybe verbally steering this soon-to-be trainwreck of a conversation into warmer waters could get them back on track. “I love pie,” he said. “Ooo, next time maybe we’ll make pie shots, okay? If we’re going to do these sad little pity parties, we might as well plan a little more ahead next time.” He still sincerely doubted that Mack could make it through another bottle tonight. Or, could zombies not get sick? Either way, he didn’t really want to find out. He considered not egging her on, but he was winning. 

Before his eyes were aware of it, they were pulling up to the Serpent’s Flat viewing stations. Though he hadn’t been paying enough attention to see the Flats coming up on the horizon, the prickling feeling across his skin had told him where they were before the car had come to a stop. “Finally,” he whispered under his breath. “Thank you,” he called to the driver, unbuckling and reaching for Mack’s hand to tug her out of the car. “Come on, come on, come on!” he said, excitement ramping up in his tone.

—

Mackenzie let out a bit of sigh, before shaking her head, “It’s fine, seriously. It’s just a part of my life, and people get curious. I understand.” Mackenzie shot him a reassuring smile that everything was okay. “But I agree with you. Next Pity Party will be a well oiled working machine with a theme. And my vote is that we make these a regular occurrence. You, me, and a new part of Wicked’s Rest to explore every time…Okay, maybe not every time, but sometimes.” She liked the idea of a regular hangout session with Chai. He was fun and funny. A winning combination in her book.

Feeling the car stop, Mackenzie looked around realizing they were literally in the middle of nowhere, but before she could take a good look, she felt Chai tugging her out of the car with such an excitement that even she was surprised; the last bottle of vodka getting left behind in the seat of the car. It was when her feet hit the ground, that she had an overwhelming rush of that same strange feeling come about, and it left her in a daze for a moment, stumbling forward slightly, before she was able to regain her footing. But Mackenzie was still skeptical. There was no way touching a huge flat rock could turn your body inside out or do the things that Chai had claimed. It didn’t make sense. There had been some weird stuff happening in this town, but rocks didn’t have that kind of power did they? She wanted to prove him wrong. But more so, for herself, prove that this town wasn’t as fucked up as it really was appearing to be. Giant spider anomalies and magic name stealing creeps on the internet were different right? They had to be.

Letting her eyes scan the area, it was a vast void of nothing, but what looked like melted rock covering the land. It didn’t seem threatening. Just lonely. Desolate like Mackenzie’s life had felt most nights when she sat at home on the couch watching reruns of old shows. It didn’t look anything like she thought it would, and she couldn’t help, but wonder how the Serpent Flats came to be. She would have to look the history up, when she got home, if Chai didn’t tell her in detail. But first, she was on a mission. There had to be one normal thing in this town, and she was going to prove it, “So Spiderman. What is so damn special about this flat void of black rock?”

—

“I think we could manage that,” Chaisai said. “There’s a lot to explore here, even if we have to get a little touristy.” He hadn’t seen the town from a tourist standpoint, having grown up in Wicked’s Rest. It would be interesting to explore the lighthearted side of things with Mack, as well as the dark underbelly of the town. Tonight was more of the latter kind of experience, or at least it could be. Chaisai almost felt guilty, like he was tricking Mack into this. But she had willingly agreed, even after he mentioned the potential for something catastrophic. She knew the risks, even if she didn’t believe them.

As they exited the car, Chaisai could feel the absolute power of the rocky expanse before them. It was like coming home after a long time away. The feeling comforted him. He let Mack’s hand fall from his grasp and began walking forward to get a better view. His feet were moving before his brain had time to register it, and it made his head swim for a second. He caught something similar happening to Mack, but didn’t mention it. She would be fine. 

When Mack spoke with such derision, that amplified surge of emotion gripped Chaisai again. This time it was a cocktail of anger and indignance and some sick glee that she’d finally experience the power of the Abnormality. “Come on, you’ll see. We just gotta get a little closer.” He beckoned her forward and started approaching the closest rocky surface. Its swirling patterns were enthralling. Chaisai thought he could just forever follow the ebb and flow of the crystalline surface, never getting bored. 

“Come here. Come closer,” he said. The words came out without thought. He didn’t even glance Mack’s way as he reached out to brush his fingertips along the formation. It was like a static shock, sending a tingling sensation through his fingertips. The feeling rejuvenated any fatigue he had felt from drinking. “Home,” he mumbled quietly, and snapped his head to look at Mack, expectant.

—

Whatever this feeling was that was coming over her as they inched closer to the formation had started to grow stronger, and Mackenzie could have sworn that her head was starting to hurt. No, that can’t be right. It’s a placebo effect. Her brain was telling her something that just wasn’t true. But damn had Chai become so entranced by the rocks that lay out ahead of them. So much so that Mackenzie, though something was telling her to turn around, continued to blindly follow him.

The warning signs that lay just to the left and right of them had been completely out of her view. Maybe from the pull of the magnetic feeling or just because her eyesight had gotten so much worse since becoming a zombie, Mackenzie had chosen to ignore them. But it was just a bunch of rocks. She had been telling herself that since the first day she had talked to him. And now, here they were and she had a point to prove. If not to him, then at least to herself. Maybe bursting his bubble wasn’t such a good idea. He had been so kind to her, and she didn’t want that friendship to end, because she didn’t believe in the power of the Flats.

Mackenzie moved closer as she watched him kneel down and soon reach out to brush what appeared to be a smooth surface with his fingertips. It was the way his head turned and his eyes were trained on her that had creeped her out just a little bit. It was as if she were walking into something she couldn’t escape and the closer she got, the sicker she felt. Mackenzie…it’s a fucking mound of flat fucking rocks. Chai’s probably just trying to freak you out. No more alcohol for the rest of the night.

Sucking in air and slowly pushing it back out, she shot a small smile in Chai’s direction as she kneeled down beside him, "What's the worst that can happen? It’s a rock…" Turning her attention back to the anomaly, Mackenzie paused before lowering her hand to meet that of the charred looking surface that spread out just beyond her and her friend.

As soon as her deadened palm lay flat against the cold stone of Serpent Flats it was like her entire life from the start up until this current moment flashed before her eyes. Her head had fallen backwards limp as she remained in some kind of trance. And when she finally came to, she wasn't herself.

Mackenzie's head fell forward and hung limply. There wasn't any kind of thought process left in her brain. But one thing lingered; an insatiable need for food. Her appetite was deathly. And it became apparent that something was not right with her when a low, breathy growl escaped her throat.

With her hand still flat on the rocks, she unsteadily moved her head and looked up at Chai. Her eyes were milky white, but she could still make out shapes and figures, especially of things that were living.

Pulling her hand up and slowly rising to her feet from the kneeling position she had been in, Mackenzie started to stumble forward slowly and awkwardly with one thing on her mind, making him her next meal.

—

Mack looked unwell. Curious. There had been no ill effects in Chaisai’s eyes, but Mack was looking pale, if that was possible for a dead girl. He watched her with curiosity as he absently traced the patterns on the surface of the abnormality. Mack seemed hesitant, so much so that Chai wondered what she was thinking. Was she afraid of rocks? The thought almost made him laugh, but he did his best to keep his face calm and reassuring. “Don’t be shy.”

The anticipation swelled in his stomach. It felt like an electric current running through his entire body. The tension ratcheted higher and higher until he felt like he’d been strung tight, watching as Mack’s hand moved towards the surface in almost slow motion. The second her hand touched the Abnormality, the tension broke. It felt like a rush of cold water being poured down his back. Chaisai sucked in a sharp breath as his vision blurred. He could see snapshots flashing across his mind, but they were memories he didn’t understand. He felt confused, like he couldn’t think straight. He and Mack had been drinking, but his stomach clenched with hunger. When he watched in first person as he stood over a still-warm corpse, one he knew he killed, and he watched as he dove in for a meal, it clicked. This was Mack’s memory. He was seeing what Mack was seeing. Abruptly, he removed his hand from the Flat and stood up. He didn’t want to see anymore of that. The hunger had quickly turned to a pang of nausea. Sweat beaded on his forehead, but he felt cold. He shivered and turned his attention back to Mack. 

Taking a step back, Chaisai smiled sinisterly at his friend as the hold of the Abnormality released her. He eyed her curiously as her head dropped forward. “How do you feel?” he asked, eagerly awaiting her response. What he hadn’t expected was the sound she made. Was she growling at him? “Uh, Mack?” He let out an awkward laugh, trying to ignore the way the hairs at the nape of his neck were standing on end. The Abnormality couldn’t kill her, clearly, but this moment was the first time he had considered if it had been a bad idea to test this out alone, at night, with a zombie. The way Mack’s head snapped up to look at him confirmed his suspicions. This was about to break bad. Taking a bigger step back, Chaisai locked eyes with Mack. He wondered if she could see him. Her eyes were different now, in a way that sent a shiver of panic up his spine. “Mack?” he called again, starting to back up for real as she rose to her full height. “Mackenzie? Can you hear me?” She stumbled forward and he stumbled back. The thought crossed his mind that this was the worst dance he’d ever done. Absurd. Stupid. Dangerous. This had probably been a huge mistake, and now he was going to end up as a chew toy. Was every party going to end with a hunger for brains? “Mack, answer me.”

—

Drool seeped from Mackenzie’s mouth. Her brain was numbed to anything, but the need for food. Words weren’t being processed, and she could no longer understand her name. Instead, all she saw was his form starting to back away from her. And with every step back that he made, she took another step forward. Her limbs were heavy as if the weight of the world hung on her shoulders, and she dragged her feet in true zombie fashion ready to reach her meal one way or another.

The Flats' power truly had a hold on her. It had been nothing like the sleepover. Mackenzie felt stronger. Her hunger was insatiable. Nothing could stand in her way. And right now, all she focused on was making a meal out of the man that stood just a few feet away.

Continuing to move along at a steady pace, Mackenzie extended her arms out trying to grab at Chaisai. Her eyes were hollow and filled with nothing but his reflection. Like a predator trained on its prey, she tracked him never missing a step.

—

Chaisai kept backpedaling, but Mack was closing in on him. As he backed away, he stumbled over the Abnormality itself, falling onto his back. His head connected with the serpentine surface beneath him and for a second, he just laid there. This wasn’t how he had imagined dying, but he knew it would be at the Flats. It would be kind of fitting.

Before he could think any further, before he could try to reason with Mack, before he understood what was happening, his body was acting on its own again. This time, he was grateful to have touched the crystal in his backyard. If he hadn’t, he might have just laid there. But now, he was staggering to his feet and he was running without thought. He didn’t need to stop to think about where he was going, he just knew the route. Chaisai kept checking over his shoulder to make sure there was distance between he and Mack, and his feet propelled him forward thoughtlessly. Like a parasite preserving the longevity of its host, the Crystal or the Abnormality piloted him onward. 

—

Mackenzie was moving in closer, and when her cold, void eyes watched Chai fall back onto the Flats, she was preparing herself to drop down and make him into her first meal of the night. With each uncalculated step on the uneven, but smooth rocky surface, she felt the same initial power engulfing her whole form in a warmth that continued to drive her forward. However, before she was able to make her move, she watched as he managed to scramble to his feet and take off much faster than she was able to keep up.

A meal lost had only angered her, but Mackenzie’s reign of terror was just beginning, and as she moved in the same direction as Chai, whatever was about to cross her path was going to be in for one hell of a surprise. 

[blazernot]

Tell me more about Tr!gger? (If you want, haha.) I keep seeing stuff about your OCs, and I'm curious about the story's overall premise! (Or character relationships, if the premise is still super loose.)

Oh bestie im always down to talk about Tr!gger ask chikai or starlight lol.

A lot of the world building is vague and based on dream logic but the basic summary but in the past there were a bunch of different gods and superpowerful beings that ruled over stuff but over the years due to different factors like weakening grips on power and stuff like that they either started dying out, blending in with society, or fleeing west where only they could go.

Also another important addition is a group that started when a bunch of people decided that being ruled by gods sucked and life was really hard because of all these magic things and people running around doing whatever so they formed a secret society focussed on seizing control. In the modern day they're the Trigger Agency.

There's a bunch of other things about the gods like how they each govern different things, Like Ayako is light and used to be a dragon, and I've been calling them domains but I'll probably change that. And there's also different ways they're born or created and they can transfer their abilities to others but you asked for the plot not this stuff so I'll actually get to that after explaining one more thing lol

People have basically super or magical powers and there's fairytale creatures around but it's not a big deal it's like being left handed. Like neat fact bro but you know a few people like that. Stuff like witchcraft and the paranormal are just facts of the world- though note that everything used to be a lot nastier but thanks to Trigger and the nasty stuff dying out people are blissfully unaware of how bad things could really get.

Okay now to actually get to the plot lol. Erica is the protag and a pretty normal lady living in Starlight City. She's a private/paranormal investigator but you can also fix her to pay your car or whatever. Her ability is hammer space. She's moved into a new apartment and is just living her life when a random person just shows up one day and won't be normal. This is Momo. She is later revealed to be a robot and has a mission or something Momo has no idea where she came from but it's not affecting her that much and she won't. Fricking. Leave. So Erica just kinda has to put up with this person.

So that's the start through doing different jobs she meets people like Shield and Venus until she starts getting wrapped up into a major conspiracy concerning Trigger and what the team in Starlight City's and maybe the whole agency's goal actually is. Basically shes the protagonist against her will and that's the basic premise

[mightnotfeelrealbutitsok]

Fav part of every TTPD song -

Fortnight = the outro. thought of calling ya/nother fortnight lost in america/buy the car you want but it won't start up til you touch touch touch meee. it's so crazed

TTPD = who's gonna hold you like me? who's gonna know you if not me? and all its repetitions

My Boy... = the second half of each chorus. cause it fit too right.../cause i knew too much... perfectly bitter

Down Bad = bridge bridge bridge. I loved your hostile takeovers encounters closer and closer all your indecent exposures how dare you say that it's !!!

So Long, London = bridge! AND YOU SAY I ABANDONED THE SHIP/AND MY FRIENDS SAID IT ISN'T RIGHT TO BE SCARED

But Daddy I Love Him = i'm running with my dress unbuttoned screaming but daddy i love him i'm having his babyyy - whenever it comes up

Fresh Out The Slammer = as i said in my letters now that i know better i will never lose my baby again (so satifsying)

Florida!!! = bridge and fuck me up Florida

Guilty As Sin? = what if he's written mine on my upper thigh??!! in the last chorus, obviously

Who's Afraid...? = so who's. afraid. of me. in the outro

I Can Fix Him = on a six-lane Texas highway, his hand so calloused from his pistol softly traces hearts on my face?!?! pop off with the imagery taylor, and so ethel-cain-core

loml = the last chorus. it just keeps going. what a valiant roar what a bland goodbye/i'll never leave never mind/your arson's match your sombre eyes!! (this song is becoming such a favourite)

I Can Do It... = he said he'd love me all his life!-- but that life was too short... and its counterpart: he said he'd love me for all time!-- such a good illustration of having to keep those miserable thoughts in check

The Smallest Man... = well clearly the whole raging bridge (YOU SAID NORMAL GIRLS WERE BORING BUT YOU WERE GONE BY THE MORNING)

The Alchemy = i can't lie. no part of it really wows me.

Clara Bow = i'm not trying to exaggerate but i think i might DIE if i made it/DIE if it happened - prechoruses

The Black Dog = the choruses, particularly the one that comes first and last. you jump up but she's too young to know this song that was intertwined with the magic/tragic fabric of our dreaming!!

imgonnagetyouback = say you got somebody i'll say i got someone too EVEN IF IT'S HANDCUFFED I'M LEAVING HERE WITH YOUU

The Albatross = also a song that does not hit me at any point. sorry.

Chloe et al. = the choruses. say i loved you the way that you were/say you've always wondered... also i/you just watched it happen... :(

How Did It End? = bridge bridge bridge the unsympathetic unfeeling roboticness and post-mortem detail and the rhythm and rhyming oh my god (say-it once-a gain-with feel-ing)

So High School = ARE YOU GONNA MARRY KISS OR KILL MEEE and also truth, dare, spin bottles... and all that. satisfying rhythm and rhyme strike again

I Hate It Here = choruses. the I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child/I dreamed about it in the dark the night I felt like I might die line. and no mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears i'm there most of the year cos i hate it here....

thanK you aIMee = lowkey an annoying song for me.

I Look In... = the verses, especially all the south south south and now now now now downtown downtown downtown parts

The Prophecy = and i sound like an infant feeling like the very last drops of an inkpen, a greater woman stays cool!!

Cassandra = so they killed Cassandra first cause she feared the worst is the best line but i don't particularly like this song.

Peter = THE WHOLE SONG. love. verses and choruses and bridge. chef's kiss. maybe best moment is YOU SAID YOU'D COME AND GET ME BUT YOU WERE TWENTY FIVE

The Bolter = verse 1. childhood anecdotes always hit

Robin = the bridge, I cry, reminds me of Ronan, you got the dragonflies above your bed, the echo of you have no idea...

The Manuscript = verse 2, the theme of growing up again, she wished she was thirty/she only ate kids' cereal

that's all thank you bye

[audiofictioncouk]

New Fiction Podcasts - 27th January

Space Train Audio Drama Punch your ticket for a laughter-filled journey that transcends the boundaries of time and space. Space Train is a full-cast audio sitcom for people who like shows like Community, Futurama, Arrested Development, and the Good Place, delivering a unique blend of humor, heart, and interstellar absurdity. Buckle up, because this space-faring ensemble cast is about to take you on the ride of a lifetime! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240124-01 RSS: https://feeds.fireside.fm/spacetrain/rss

Tales of the Crossroads Audio RPG We're just a bunch of friends, sitting around a table, playing The Crossroads Interdimensional Tabletop RPG. We decided to start recording these because we have a lot of fun and to give others a chance to learn about The Crossroads ITRPG. Embark on thrilling adventures across The Crossroads, a realm woven with countless portals to diverse dimensions. In this captivating podcast, dive into the immersive tales spun by various groups using The Crossroads Interdimensional Tabletop RPG system. Join our intrepid adventurers as they navigate this multi-dimensional world, facing challenges, unraveling mysteries, and forging unforgettable bonds. The Tales of the Crossroads promises an exciting journey where exploration knows no bounds. Uncover the secrets, triumph over obstacles, and experience the magic of interconnected stories in every episode. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240122-01 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/tales-of-the-crossroads

EAR CANDY Presents: The Next 5 Minutes Audio Drama It’s 2035… and things aren’t great Downunder. Mass homelessness, pollution ruining beaches, teenagers facing slave labour and everything, including euthanasing the elderly, has been privatised by a corrupt libertarian government in cahoots with Empyrean Industries, a shadowy corporation busy mining the moon. An underground terrorist movement called Swag Sting is mobilising but wracked by infighting. Crowd control measures include giant, deadly robot kangaroos. As our protagonists battle for humanity's essence, we uncover an alarming future that lurks uncomfortably close. THE NEXT 5 MINUTES is not just a podcast—it's a movement, a deep, dark, truthful mirror reflecting a future we must avoid. Every. Second. Counts. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240123-02 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/654d9e4a07e8cd00124881f9

Stop, Drop & Roll Initiative Audio RPG Introducing Stop, Drop & Roll Initiative, an actual-play D&D podcast hosted by wrestler Martin MacAlistair, podcaster and content creator Satsunami, Twitch streamer RoboticBattleToaster, and Chatsunami Podcast co-host Andrew. Elran (Andrew), Morek (Toaster), and Tempest (Satsunami) form an adventuring party after seeing a local guild's wanted ad and set out to fix a broken world. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240123-03 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f0c1659c/podcast/rss

A Feminist Romance Novel, Podcast! Temptations at Sweetwater Creek Audio Drama What if you were suddenly plunged into the world of a romance novel? Charlotte, April and Polly find out when their car breaks down in Texas during a cross country road trip. After taking refuge at the Sweetwater Creek Ranch Inn, they meet Jack, a brooding cowboy with a rough exterior, Luke, a sexy innkeeper searching for a friend, and Dylan, a mysterious guest who may or may not be a vampire. Driven by a narrator obsessed with romance and happy endings, our three friends are whipped into a frenzy of sex, doubt, and betrayal. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240124-02 RSS: https://feeds.soundcloud.com/users/soundcloud:users:923516737/sounds.rss

Science Fiction - Hörspiele Audio Drama Bereits heutzutage finden immer weniger Bürgerinnen und Bürger der offenen Gesellschaft zum gemeinsamen Verweilen zusammen. Wie mag sich dies erst in 140 Jahren verhalten, immer vorausgesetzt, dass die den drittnächsten Planeten zur Sonne beglückende Menschheit bis dahin durchhält ohne sich selbst chemisch, bakteriell, atomar oder klimatisch auszulöschen? Fragen über Fragen wie geschaffen für einen utopischen Seelenstriptease-Thriller ... https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240121-03 RSS: https://moderne21.de/science-fiction-hoerspiele.xml

S-O-A-P Audio RPG This is an actual-play podcast for the indie ttrpg Stories of Adventure! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240120-01 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2290034.rss

The Cellblock Scorch Writing Contest Audio Book A weekly short-story writing contest among a group of friends that started in 2018 and has continued unstopped since then. In this podcast the members of our group, the Stella Corps, share the winning pieces (aka "scorches") every week https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240123-04 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/ebb17894/podcast/rss

Modern Gothic Audio Book An anthology of weird stories. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240124-03 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/659d69ceeddc8100174ac30d

Harsh Static: A Fallout Actual Play Audio RPG What was just another day in the Mojave Wasteland gets interrupted by the pounding of metal feet and strange feedback through the radio. Rumors of odd robots and settlements going dark have people outside The Strip on edge, and things only seem to be getting worse when the Brotherhood of Steel is getting involved. Join our intrepid survivors as they brave the dangers of the wastes in search of the truth, encountering mechanical menaces along the way. Will they make their mark and conquer the day, or end up as another lyric in a sad old song? https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240116-04 RSS: https://feeds.castos.com/63ovm

[robo-family]

ROBO-FAMILY WRITING PROMPTS

Writing prompts based around GDT's Pinocchio, Hunter (TOH), Connor (DBH) and Calculester (Monster Prom) as a found family. (WARNING: There are a LOT of prompts) - Connor’s memory is wiped. Calculester and the children are devastated. - Sometimes, Pinocchio can see the ghost of a red cardinal that follows Hunter around. Why is no one else able to see it? - Pinocchio’s insecure about his inability to age like other children. Alongside his family, he decides to begin a new tradition: growing up. - Hunter learns to drive. - Pinocchio and Hunter are aware that their parents are robots– but sometimes, they get confused by the weird ways in which they communicate. In short: Connor and Calculester have their own little language. - Calculester's virtual reality reminds Connor of the Zen Garden-- flashbacks of Amanda ensue, but Calculester is there to comfort him. - Hunter and Pinocchio try to play twister: Pinocchio has an unfair advantage. - Pinocchio and Calculester visit an old abandoned garden with a swing. They decide to refurbish the garden together. - Connor doesn't like heights-- the only other person who knows this is Calculester. Safe to say, he's not feeling very good when the two of them are trapped on a ferris wheel. - Hank dies. The family attends his funeral. - Hunter is moving out of home, and Pinocchio doesn’t know how to feel. - Pinocchio and Hunter are introduced to Calculester's parents in the library… and Damien and Scott, too. - Hunter tells Calculester about wild magic and the unique plants of the Boiling Isles. Intrigued, Calculester grows some of its native flora in their garden, things do not go well. - Calculester and Connor send the kids to therapy to assist them with moving on from the past. - Calulester catches a computer virus - the family nurses him back to health. - Calculester and Connor interface and share their memories together - “Hunter! You didn’t tell me you were made of wood too!” or, Pinocchio discovers something about Grimwalkers. - Hunter carves Pinocchio his own Palisman. - Calculester, Connor, and Pinocchio meet Willow for the first time– the entire family decides to poke fun at Hunter’s crush. - Sometimes, Hunter and Calculester have trouble talking to each other. That all changes when they’re alone in a car– and traffic is looking bad. - Connor finds Hunter moping around on the couch at midnight– deep talks about trauma ensue. - Calculester gets a new job at the demon realm university! He comes home to tell the family the great news. Hunter is conflicted. - Pinocchio accidentally plays too rough with his FNaF Foxy plushie. All hell breaks loose until Hunter reveals his secret little side hobby to help. - Connor and Cal want to get Hunter and Pinocchio out of the house more with outside of school hobbies. Hunter ends up in an old ladies sewing club, Pinocchio ends up in The Mafia. - Cal is more than eager to help Hunter pick out the year’s Grom outfit. - During a visit to Hank in Connor’s dimension, the family stumbles across a World War II memorial service. Pinocchio knocks the breath from Hank's lungs when he recounts the horrors he’s witnessed. - Calculester has to crouch to get through their front door. Connor goes above and beyond to fix this problem. - In response to being distant, Connor makes the decision to skip work for the day and spend the time bonding with his children. Calculester isn’t impressed when he finds a giant blanket fort in the middle of the living room.