#mama is also very queer but we all know that

[s3asonschange]

ME WHEN MAMA BY MCR IS INTERPRETED AS THE PARADER IS A DEAD SOLDIER BECAUSE I AM AN AUTISTIC MAN = I AM AUTISTIC ABOUT WWI (psychological effects of it)

i was reading all quiet on the western front (wwi novel) and just one specific line from it was sooo STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS I’D HATE TO SEE YOU CRY /lyr and AHH

[super-who-locked-me-in-here]

Pieces of media my mom has seen and the popular MLM ships in them that she doesn't think are gay:

MCU - Stucky (note that she does get a kick out of Stony stuff and she believes wholeheartedly that those two hate fucked in a not-filmed scene of Avengers 2012 so this is not about her thinking "oh Captain America is so straight-laced because he's the ideal American man" or anything)

MCU - Poolverine (she's fully aware and accepting of the fact that both Logan and Wade are canonically queer characters but she thinks all the flirting Wade did with Logan in the newest movie didn't necessarily mean anything because "he talks like that to everyone". Side note though: while she believes Wade should be with Vanessa, she does think that Logan can and should shoot his shot with Wade after Vanessa inevitably dies since he and Wade are both immortal. It's just that she thinks Wade should get his happy ending with Vanessa first.)

MCU - Lokius ("Mama have you ever seen a man fix another man's tie like that" "No but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen! I wouldn't know though; it's been like 15 years since I worked a corporate job.")

Sonyverse/Marvel - Symbrock ("They literally have a symbiotic relationship. That doesn't make them gay." So I showed her the comics where Eddie calls Venom "love" and gives birth to Venom's babies and she said "Fine you win but please never show me alien man birth ever again."

Supernatural - Destiel ("They're like Steve and Bucky! They're brothers in arms! They've been through hell and back together!" Note that she only watched through season 5 but she does know about a lot of their later interactions because I told her about them)

House M.D. - Hilson ("Dot I watched that whole show and they were never anything more than good friends" "What about when House admitted to thinking about Wilson during sex? What about that whole episode where they pretended to be gay for each other to prove a point to a neighbor and Wilson proposed? What about that whole episode where Wilson had to furnish the apartment and House told him not to let a woman tell him what to do but Wilson let House tell him what to do? What about the whole ending?" "Why can't two men just be close enough friends to joke about that stuff with each other?"

Real life - Me and my best friend of the same gender orientation who I've kissed multiple times and have had a requited crush on for years that neither of us have ever persued for logistical reasons (I literally used me and this friend to try and prove my mom wrong about Stucky and Destiel. I asked her if she thought me and this friend were like brothers and she said yes with a straight face)

Sherlock - Johnlock (to be fair this is the BBC ship name, but she doesn't think any iteration of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are the slightest bit gay. "They're business partners and roommates.")

Our Flag Means Death - BlackHands (Should go ahead and say that I'm not really a BlackHands shipper myself; we both really enjoyed Stede and Ed's romance in the show. BUT it takes so much away from Izzy's character and his development if you don't acknowledge that he was jealous of Stede and in love with Ed, at least a little. My mom thought Izzy was just an extremely loyal first mate.)

Also, for the record, I'm not trying to call my mom out as homophobic. I'm queer and so are two of my siblings and she's very supportive of us. There are gay romcoms she enjoys like Our Flag Means Death and Red, White, and Royal Blue. The reason I'm making this list is because I think it's really funny how she doesn't understand the concept of queerbaiting (not that all of the above listed ships are queerbaiting). She thinks things are either explicitly straight or explicitly queer (whether it's gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc) and cannot comprehend the idea that some character relationships are deliberately pushing the boundaries of straight friendships into queer relationships to get more minority viewers and I think her explanations are funny.

[0daylighthours0]

Just started ST s4 with my Mama, we're halfway through episode 3, and gosh are her opinions noteworthy.

Firstly, she has been very pissed at Mike and the way he's been treating El. Y'know that scene at the dinner table, the one where Joyce or someone was asking about what happened at Rink O' Mania, and Mike makes a comment over how the girl El schmacked with a skate "didn't look fine" - single handedly escalating the ready sensitive situation? My mother, quote:

"Oh- shut up you! Y'know if [insert my father's name here] did that I'd smack him."

"You'd dump his ass?"

"I'd dump his ass."

I've now asked for her thoughts on milkvan's relationship (she's oblivious to my ulterior motives) and she told me that it doesn't seem as if Mike loves El anymore, that he isn't treating her like he does.

She also reads the way Mike is acting towards Will as very strange. She can't fathom a reason as to why they'd seemed so close previously, yet now have Mike pushing Will away and being distant. Why he's treating him strangely.

"It's very weird."

This is made all the more prevalent as we're watching these seasons back to back, the difference in Mike's behaviour being night and day.

Now listen up listen up. My mother, is NOT a fan of queer things. She'll try and evade this being a possibility for any movie or show character until the fact of their gayness is outright confirmed. This is why, at this second, Mike is very confusing to her. I don't even think she's put two and two together about Will's sexuality yet. But man when I tell you she is catching on. Like she doesn't know what's up with Mike, but her only ways for describing his act have been synonyms to the word 'weird'.

Can you just imagine if we didn't have a closeted explanation for this guy? What even would his character excuse be???

Man I can not wait to get to those undeniable byler moments. If she, my mother, think that Mike seems gay? then, guys, he is gay.

[smytherines]

Fuck it, here's an Agent Mega dissertation

Alright since I have such elaborate headcanon for my beloved precious Owen Carvour, I guess I should do it for Agent Curt Mega too. Sigh.

So, going off of the last big one, if Owen is born in 1928, then I'm gonna say Curt was born in 1930. I'm forever won to the Texan agent mega headcanon, but I think it's safe to say that Mrs. Mega is not from Texas, probably more like New York or I've seen people say New Jersey.

We know nothing about Agent Mega's dad, but I imagine he was kind of a loser and low level con artist and moved his pregnant wife down to Texas to do scams around the bustling oil industry, and then soon after Curt was born a scam collapsed and he ran off. It's either that or an Aladdin 3 situation where he was secretly a spy the whole time and had to go into hiding.

So we've got mama Mega, raising a VERY hyperactive (read: ADHD) little boy on her own, in a place where she doesn't have any support, and he just becomes her entire world. But she has to work a lot, so Curt becomes used to taking care of himself, and most importantly- keeping himself busy so he doesn't lose it.

In this headcanon Curt would only be 15 when WWII ends- not old enough to fight, but definitely old enough to have personally known a lot of kids from his hometown who come home in caskets. I just truly think of WWII as a formative experience for both these guys. For Curt it just feeds into that inferiority complex.

Now anybody who has ADHD knows that you already spend a lot of your life feeling inadequate, feeling self-conscious about not being able to be the person other people want you to be (*especially* if you're queer). You get defensive, especially when criticized. You also get restless.

I headcanon Curt as growing up in Abilene, Texas, mostly because I have a friend who grew up there and I've visited and the vibe is right.

I don't know if anybody has ever seen The Last Picture Show, but its a film set in small town Texas in 1951-1952 (so a little late for our timeline but still) and it's (more or less) about two high school seniors essentially trying to escape this suffocatingly small, dying town before they become doomed to spend their lives trapped there.

That's definitely what I think about Agent Mega too- this gay, ADHD teenage boy climbing the walls of this little town, never being able to fully be himself. But he's got a lot of energy (and more than a little anger) to burn off, so he does sports. It's Texas, so football for sure. Maybe wrestling too. Perhaps wrestling is even where he has his gay come to jesus moment.

And when he isn't doing sports, he's home, alone (mama Mega is working so hard), out back drinking a beer (or two, or three) and teaching himself how to shoot. I think he becomes hyperfixated on becoming an expert marksman, because with all of this shit he cannot control, all the stuff he is supposed to be but isn't, this is one area where it feels like he has the power here.

What starts off as "kid drinking beer to feel cool and rebellious" starts to morph into a lifetime dependence on alcohol. Substance use is a big issue for a lot of ADHDers for the same reason I think it would be for Curt- it calms him down. It eases that constant restlessness in his bones. It softens the edges of other people's criticisms of him. It makes him care a bit less what others think about him.

In a vicious cycle, he drinks to avoid feeling those big feelings (especially as a man, especially as a gay man, especially as a gay man in Texas), but the drinking leads to more criticism, which leads to more drinking to numb the emotional response to that criticism.

But his hyperfixation on learning to shoot pays off. Let's say he becomes a junior state champion trapshooter (did I look up trapshooting competitions from the 1940s? yes I did). He's good, especially when he hits the sweet spot of drinking just enough to calm his ass down but not so much that he's useless. Maybe this is how he comes to the attention of the A.S.S.

And he fully believes that these skills he cultivated, the ability to hit hard and run fast and shoot accurately, his ability to escape when it doesn't feel remotely possible, is why many years later he just kinda rolls his eyes at Owen for insisting that they do things carefully and methodically. Careful didn't get him out of small town Texas. Careful didn't get him the exciting non-stop life he has now, a life where he *almost* gets to be himself a lot of the time.

When Owen "dies," and its Curt's fault, he naturally turns to drinking to numb that pain. But its a lot of pain, so it takes a lot of alcohol to kill it.

I'm sure I could go on, but as always I have rambled a lot here so I'm just gonna leave it.

[lgbridgertonqa]

The Great Queer Bridgerton Ship Poll: THE RESULTS!!!

First off, we’d just like to thank everyone for taking part in this silliness. We clocked in at 204,232 votes when we closed the poll with votes still coming in. Deeply unserious, we’re very touched.

That being said this is also VERY serious. Lives are at stake.

Onto the numbers for places (under the cut - cos it's LONG!)

Or read the results thread here on our twitter.

31. Daphne Bridgerton/Alice Mondrich - 0 votes (0.00%)

Sorry girls!

29 =. Colin Bridgerton/Harry Dankworth - 1 vote (0.0005%)

The Danklin nation were not assembled for this fight. One noble voter stood proud!

29 =. Harry Dankworth/Lord Fife - 1 vote (0.0005%)

The vote is entirely anonymous so we will never know who this one brave soul was that swung for the only Fife ship in the poll. It will ever remain a mystery…

23 = . Siena Rosso/Mme Delacroix - 2 votes (0.0010%)

Maybe next time, ladies.

23 = . Violet Bridgerton/Portia Featherington - 2 votes (0.0010%)

The Mama’s did not do it for the voters.

23 = . Mary Sharma/Queen Charlotte - 2 votes (0.0010%)

Not enough follow through on this tension to capture more votes.

23 = . Mme Delacroix/Lucy Granville - 2 votes (0.0010%)

The girls are taking a hit in the polls.

23 = . Gregory Bridgerton/Richard Abernathy - 2 votes (0.0010%)

Our first book character on the list! He fought valiantly.

23 = . Lord Haselby/Neville Berbrooke - 2 votes (0.0010%)

This niche book only fanon couple did this against all odds. Respect!

20 =. Kate Sharma/Sophie Beckett - 4 votes (0.0020%)

A previous fan favourite has slipped down the rankings in this poll!

20 = . Eloise Bridgerton/Edwina Sharma - 4 votes (0.0020%)

A similarly previously popular ship has fallen on hard times this year!

20 =. Will Mondrich/Simon Basset - 4 votes (0.0020%)

MIA since season 1, but sorely missed.

19. Hyacinth Bridgerton/Felicity Featherington - 5 votes (0.0024%)

The show may have forgotten you Felicity, but voters haven’t

18 =. Queen Charlotte/Lady Danbury - 6 votes (0.0029%)

Too many people afraid of the power of these two women kissing.

18 =. Anthony Bridgerton/Thomas Dorset - 6 votes (0.0029%)

Apparently two men holding each other and falling into a lake isn’t homoerotic enough for some.

16. Lucy Abernathy/Hermione Watson - 9 votes (0.0044%)

Another book ship taking on show giants.

15. Eloise Bridgerton/Marina Thompson - 11 votes (0.0054%)

Some people hate to see lesbians winning!

14. Brimsley/Reynolds - 38 votes (0.0186%)

Our first canon queer ship taking a hit! Only scraping top 15!

13. Francesca Bridgerton/Edwina Sharma - 96 votes (0.047%)

The votes are starting to pick up now with this outside contender!

12. Daphne Bridgerton/Cressida Cowper - 211 votes (0.1033%)

A very respectable 12th place for Daphida!

11. Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington - 236 votes (0.1156%)

A perhaps shock result to not crack the top ten!

10. Gregory Bridgerton/Gareth St. Clair - 403 votes (0.1973%)

Huge result for a book character not yet in the show! Top ten!

9. Colin Bridgerton/Michael Stirling - 636 votes (0.3114%)

A now book based pair on the shortlist from last year, coming into the top ten as an underdog!

8. Francesca Bridgerton/Michaela Stirling - 677 votes (0.3315%)

Michaela Stirling didn’t throw the first brick at Stonewall for 8th place.

7. Simon Basset/Anthony Bridgerton - 737 votes (0.3609%)

Homoerotic tension legendary enough that it brought this show into infamy. You’ve served proudly, kings

6. Francesca Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington - 970 votes (0.475%)

Another outsider in the top 10! The Fran/Pen shooters were not messing around!

5. Colin Bridgerton/Phillip Crane - 1,052 votes (0.5151%)

One olive oil joke and discussions about Ancient Greece, next thing you know -

4. Benedict Bridgerton/Paul Suarez - 1,713 votes (0.8388%)

Congrats on all the sex you had boys! It translated into votes!

3. Kate Sharma/Daphne Bridgerton - 15,911 votes (7.7906%)

Kaphne were leading the way for 5 days this week, only to be pipped to the post in the last few days. Well done on bronze!

2. Benedict Bridgerton/Henry Granville - 84,285 votes (41.2692%)

Voters gave it their all in the last 24 hours, but ultimately couldn’t take the win. A very worthy silver!

1. Eloise Bridgerton/Cressida Cowper - 97,204 votes (47.5949%)

Unreal rush at the end, nearly breaking the poll. The sapphics take the crown of Best Queer Bridgerton Ship!

[mazzystar24]

saw an ask u answered about eddie and shannon and some of my two brain cells started talking. do u think that eddie 'loved being married to shannon' because it gave him an out from having to pursue a new/real relationship? like he could use her as a convenient excuse of why he wasn't dating anyone new without having to actually 1. be in a relationship with her (mostly while one or the other of them was gone) and 2. force himself to try again w a new het romance he doesn't really want and 3. confront his maybe less that heterosexual feelings (I'm on the gay/demi eddie train personally)

like maybe this isn't an og thought I've just not seen anyone spell it out in quote this way but shannon really made the perfect beard for him for so long even now he uses her as a shield

Our brain cells are currently making out in a storage room rn that’s how on the same wavelength we are

I’m a gay Eddie truther too but I very much see the Demi argument for him too like the Demi or ace Eddie girlies are legit my besties

I think yes totally agree to everything you said and also like I feel a big thing for Eddie is role fulfilment so like his marriage with Shannon not only filled that role of the sorta cereal box family and like expectation of him to have a wife and to provide his son with a mother/ marry his baby mama but ALSO it let him fulfill HIS perceived role by being this like perfect American soldier who married his highschool sweetheart and like the mother of his child and him being the provider for the family, etc,etc

You know? Like he liked being married BECAUSE of all those things you said but also because I feel like when people are experiencing comphet it’s like this thing of trying to overcompensate and almost paint the perfect picture and reduce themselves down to these roles people expect them to fulfill

Like idk if I’m explaining myself well but it’s not only like a beard for the sake of keeping his queerness secret I think it’s also like this deflection/repression and like sorta to prove not only to others but to himself that he is fulfilling that role and he’s able to have that life even if they never really had a proper marriage and spent most of it separated or fighting

This is why I keep pushing the good luck babe agenda because when you wake up next to him (her) in the middle of the night with your head in your hands you’re nothing more than his wife (husband)

I also think cos of the circumstances of their marriage and her death, he is able to like fool himself into believing that it’s like the extenuating circumstances that caused them and his other relationships to not work out rather than doing any introspection and realising it was never gonna work out because he is extremely not straight

[writingwhilecaffeinated]

I can finally talk of my unhinged theories for Benedict’s season if he’s season 4. Spoilers under the cut.

LOOK, after revealing he’s bi and is literally, in this world, risking his life for also sleeping with men, I don’t think they’ll keep Sophie as she was in the book.

What cemented that for me was Eloise’s comment about the masquerade ball next season and finding the corner Benedict is in and “hiding in it.”

That look on Benedict’s face… Yeah, is he happy with this new sexual freedom? Of course. But he DOES remember Henry Granville. He remembers that it’s literally dangerous, life-threatening. He wouldn’t want Eloíse to risk that, but even more he knows he’s alone. (Or at least feels alone, he’s no idea his sister Fran is also super gay).

You can’t do that for Benedict, have these hints, and then suddenly not leave the room for a possibility of a main queer storyline.

So my theories for IF Benedict is next season, what they’ll do to Sophie’s character.

1. They’ll genderbend Sophie like they did with Michael Sterling. We’ll get a Samuel Beckett or equivalent. They’ll still meet at the ball, Samuel is still an illegitimate bastard who gets one night to not feel like a servant. They might not dance but they talk and connect and it’s wonderful, until Samuel runs and Benedict becomes obsessed with finding him. Little does he know Samuel is a servant, meets him as a servant as instead of the “be my mistress” arc from the books, Benedict asks for Samuel to be the third in a lavender marriage, similar to Henry Granville’s situation from season 1. Suddenly Benedict understands what it is to risk his very life for love, why Henry hid it. It’s a full circle for him. But Samuel doesn’t want to share, he wants all of Ben or none. Evil step-mother, instead of accusing Samuel of stealing finds out he’s gay/bi and has him arrested, making it a real life or death situation, causing Benedict to have to take action.

In the end I’m sure Violet will use her mama B powers to appeal to the Queen, and just like in QC where racism was fixed with like, one dance, homophobia shall be fixed. This is fantasy Regency, it can happen.

2. If they’re REALLY brave (and I’m kind of hoping for this storyline) they make Sophie a transwoman. She doesn’t get to be her true self often so takes the masquerade ball as an opportunity to get dressed up, pretty, etc. dances with Benedict, things proceed pretty much as the above scenario with some tweaks.

The only thing I’m unsure of is how they’d handle Sophie’s transition. My theory is they’d simplify and she’s been living life as her true self as long as possible and maybe she had more opportunity for that as someone of the servant class. But idk.

3. Most unlikely, we go full throuple on this bitch. A Sophie and Samuel and we fix fear against homosexuals AND polyamory in the last episode.

[cjkie22]

A non-exhaustive list of why you should listen to hit dirtbag boyband Bears in Trees:

their music is really amazing. you'll love it.

especially if your Spotify wrapped was on the pov: indie side of things

and even if it wasn't.

songs for every emotion

absolutely beautiful lyrics

sometimes these lyrics make sense. sometimes they don't. that's part of the fun.

songs about platonic love !!!!!

songs for the queers! the aros! the aces! the enbies! the trans community!

my dad likes them. doesn't sound like a lot, but it's an achievement.

(more underneath the break)

iain (bass/vox/lyrics) has "ginger" tattooed on the back of their head. if that isn't iconic I don't know what is.

on the note of iain, they were the first person i was aware of that used they as a pronoun, and that changed my life

they have a discord server! it's a really lovely community. i am not biased in the slightest. (discord.gg/sandbox) (https://discord.com/invite/thesandbox) (i will personally send you an invite i don't actually know what the link is)

they should DEFINITELY be on the heartstopper soundtrack

if I'm remembering correctly in the tiktok where they said they should be on the heartstopper soundtrack, they also said 3 out of 4 of them were in some way queer. seems like a good thing to me.

they opened for you me at six earlier this year. it was my first time seeing them live. and WOW.

I met some of my best friends through this band. I'm not joking; big shout out to the mojo dojo castle house, I'll never forget that weekend.

they're hilarious on the internet

you might cry at several of their songs for a million different reasons

BearBerry records

they have a tumblr blog @/bearsintreesofficial (iirc). I'm not gonna tag them but

BiT gigs are a safe space. I may have almost fainted at my last one (new cross inn, August 2023) but I've never met so many kind strangers and genuinely lovely people

merch is super comfy and really cute.

it gives stardew valley and animal crossing (trust me I'm right)

after the new cross gig (sweatiest gig in the world), despite surely being exhausted, callum (uke/keys/vox) took my bereal and i got my mini lesbian flag signed by them all

I turned out not to be a lesbian, which possibly makes it funnier, but the flag is stuck on my wall still

cryptids would LOVE their band

dash.

there's also a community minecraft server for discord members

BiT postcards !!!!

gosh and the bit stickers

they covered stick season on an Instagram live

they also do the funniest twitch streams

iain and the mountain

the raccoon email address

george (drums/production) is elite. the drum fills in doing this again? iconic. also has a specific really cool shirt I want to steal

wedding. dress. tiktok.

callum doesn't wear shoes on stage. apparently this was common knowledge but it sure surprised me at new cross.

the austrian soft drinks advert

iain make up looks

callum plays the flute. I want to say classically trained flautist but i may be wrong.

none of them have EVER bribed any members of law enforcement

their songs are very tattooable

talking of tattoos, nick (lyrics/guitar/saw him play the uke on stage once) has L + R tattooed on his forearms (iirc). absolute genius and I am stealing it when I get more of my patchwork sleeve done

iain releases solo music to under the name pet yeti. it's ethereal. callum also plays flute on one of them.

trumpet joe

the four of them never look like they are dressed for the same event

someone once edited the bears in trees wiki page to say that Ryan Ross was in their band

silly geese

that time we got singing? poetry? performance art? of THAT harry potter fanfiction

according to tiktok, iain and nick once had to sneak into their own show because they were underage

nurby

I have a video in the depths of my camera roll of them covering Mama by My Chemical Romance on a twitch stream

sonick

all of them give me gender envy at different times

their newest single (bart's bike) features banjo

patreon content

yelling it gets better with a room full of people was a healing experience.

tilly

modern baseball and fall out boy adjacent in my brain

if you like bears in trees you're automatically hot and really cool

they did a song with noahfinnce and its really super good

callum also featured on a myriad song which is also really super good

bit songs feel like coming home. they feel like hot chocolate and a blanket on a cold night. they feel like a warm hug. they feel like surviving and falling in love with life again and overcoming the worst things. they feel like victory, because you didn't think you'd make it to adulthood. but I'm 20 now. and I'm still here. I've almost graduated uni. and that's what bears in trees feels like.

all of their songs!!!! amazing!!!!

please feel free to add to this list. I'm taking suggestions.

[winterwriterstudios]

The Prince And The Frog (Malyuu ver.)

Pairing: Malleus x Yuu (From Twisted Wonderland)

Inspo: https://www.tumblr.com/bi-panicatthedisco‘s comment under https://www.tumblr.com/skyerooodraws/749572968954413056, Tiana’s frog form

Notes: Not a great writer. Not truly accurate to the game nor the manga nor the book. Yuu uses they/them pronouns. Also, Yuu takes inspiration from Tiana (I just imagine them with the accent). Plus, I did not proof read, so please pardon errors

Prompt: Malleus never was alone in the garden.

———————————-

Malleus absolutely hated when Lilia had to go on trips. It meant he would be all alone in the castle garden, playing with no one.

Today was no different. It was just him and his newly bought golden ball, gifted by Lilia before he left. No one, not even the gardeners were in the garden. Just him, alone.

He looked around for maybe any animal that would catch his interest, long enough to distract him, but alas, even the animals seemed to fear him as much as the fae.

No annoying chirping of the birds or the prominent wildlife that were allowed to stay in the gardens. Not even a grasshopper or ant was nearby.

Feeling utterly defeated, Malleus threw the ball as far as he could, not caring where it landed. He then fell to the ground, his eyes welled up with tears. He didn’t care enough to wipe them away, after all, no one was around to notice.

The weather seemed to act according to the poor prince’s emotions. The clouds got darker and suddenly started to merge with one another, chasing the sun away and casting a shadow on the whole castle.

The garden seemed darker, more hostile than it did before to the fae prince. The trees seem to bear wicked grins and the wind sounded like whispers, the same whispers that plagued the castle every day.

“Why won’t anyone play with me? I-I have done nothing wrong! I have been a good prince like-like in all the stories! All I want is a single friend! Please!”

His desperate cries remained unanswered, though. The wind only lived up its speed and droplets of water fell from the sky, matching the tears that spilled from his eyes.

It all seemed to come to a halt when the golden ball, now muddy, rolled to his knees and a small, caring voice said, “Well, if it’s a friend you want, then it’s a friend you’ll have!”

Malleus’ head immediately snapped up, in search of this voice.

“Down here!”

Lo and behold, the voice belonged to no other than a frog.

Malleus wiped his tears away, sniffling a bit. “R-Really? You will be my friend?” His voice was soft, not wanting to scare the friendly frog away.

“’Course I will! My mama always said that I should be making more friends, anyway! I’m Yuu! And you are?” The frog comically held out its hand, still beaming at the young fae.

As the clouds faded away, Malleus smiled, giving the frog a gentle handshake. “I am Malleus. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Yuu!”

———————————-

From that day on, Malleus and his frog friend were inseparable. They’d play together, take long walks around the castle together and sometimes Yuu would dine with Malleus when no one else was around.

Even when Malleus was older, he never forgot Yuu. In fact, he just grew more attached to the frog.

“Yuu! Yuu! I brought you grapes! The red, seedless ones! And I brought a lot of berries, too!”

It was a very queer sight to see the noble prince of Briar Valley carrying a basket while yelling out to the garden.

It was an even funnier sight to see a frog suddenly jump on him and land on his hair, right in between his horns.

“Good afternoon, dear! Are you doing as great as you are looking?”

The melodic laughter of Malleus made Yuu smile even more. Jumping off his hair and back into the grass, they laughed along with him.

“I am doing wonderfully, now that you are here, Yuu. You know I always love the time we spend together,” he replied, sitting on the grass, in front of the frog.

Yuu croaked, before their tongue extended, landing on a grape in the basket and bringing it back into their mouth. They hummed, satisfied as they moved closer to the basket.

“Me too! It’s kinda lonely when you’re not around! I mean, the other frogs are great, and the tadpoles are just adorable, but nothing beats hanging out with you!” Their smile was unwavering as they helped themselves to more grapes in the basket.

Those words warmed Malleus’ heart more than it should. It was always nice knowing that his best friend loved him as much as he loved them.

The conversation continued, thought it was mostly just Malleus ranting about his day while Yuu listened and gave him helpful tips and advice. Both enjoyed hearing the other’s voice and just being in the other’s presence.

Soon, the basket was empty and the afternoon came to an end as the sun started to set.

“Well, that’s sad! The sun’s coming down!” Yuu pointed own, a frown on their face.

Malleus nodded, disheartened. He didn’t know why days with Yuu always seemed too short to be actual days. If only Yuu could spend the nights with him, as well.

Wait.

“Yuu? Would you like to stay the night in the castle?”

“Ooh! Like a sleepover?”

“A what?”

———————————-

“And that’s why I NEVER eat flies!”

Malleus wiped away the tears at the corner of his eyes, his large grin basically lightning up the dimly lighted room. Yuu was sitting in front of him, on a pinecone on top of his king-sized bed.

Pinecones were tangled up in Malleus’s lovely dark hair, acting as makeshift curls, due to Yuu’s insistence (though, they did not need to beg much, as Malleus was willing to do anything to make their first ‘sleepover’ memorable) and his smile took up half of his face as he intently stared at his best friend.

“You do have a lot of interesting stories, Yuu,” he spoke, “I assume you have adventures everyday in the garden, when I’m not around.” Malleus brushed off his comment as a joke, even though he was a bit saddened by this realization.

Sometimes, he’d debate permanently turning himself into a frog so that he could have more adventures with Yuu and their friends, but then he’d remember his family and Lilia and would decide against it. But that did not stop him from daydreaming.

“Aww! Don’t feel left out, Mal’! I tell the boys back at the pond about ALL the things we do, and they are always super jealous!” Yuu tried to cheer him up, instantly catching on to his change in demeanor.

Malleus perked up at that, seeming pleased, until he remembered something, “I hope your stories aren’t the more embarrassing ones that you so fondly remember, though.”

Yuu, feeling nervous, suddenly croaked. “Uh…would ya look at the tone! You,” they pointed at Malleus with an innocent smile, “should be heading to bed to rest that pretty little head of yours!”

Understanding that his reputation to the garden creatures is probably already ruined beyond repair, Malleus simply nodded. “Where will you sleep?” He asked, curiously. Malleus didn’t exactly have a bed fit for a frog in his room, nor did he know how Yuu liked sleeping.

“Oh, I could sleep on a drawer! Wouldn’t want you to deal with a frog on your bed!” Yuu said, hopping towards the drawer that was next to Malleus’ bed.

Malleus was able to catch them, before they landed on the drawer, though. “I wouldn’t be dealing with any frog on my bed. It would be you, my beastie.”

The sincerity of his words made Yuu’s heart warm, and they wished they were finally a fae, once more, so they could give Malleus a big hug, but all they could was laugh. The curse was still as strong as ever, and they couldn’t even dream of breaking it. Or burdening Malleus with that knowledge.

“Whatever you say, Mal-Mal,” Yuu smiled, sadly at him, taking in Malleus in all his pinecone haired glory, “Whatever you say…”

———————————-

Yuu yawned, opening their eyes to meet Malleus’ still sleeping ones. They got off the bed and groggily made their way to the window to open it, since they felt that the place was a bit stuffy.

Then, they tripped over their own two feet. They hissed in pain, cursing as they struggled to help themselves up. “Since when was I this heavy?” They muttered, holding on to the edge of the bed as they stood tall.

Their curses soon turned q into silence as they noticed how ethereal Malleus looked while he slept, even with those ridiculous pine ones in his hair. Yuu chuckled, before wobbly making their way to the window, grabbing onto any piece of sturdy furniture they could.

Surprisingly, Malleus failed to wake up from the noise they were making, and continued to slumber away. Yuu was thankful for this, as they reached the window. They did not want to interrupt the prince’s sleep schedule after all.

“Huh?”

Everything seemed to slow down as they came face to face with their reflection on the window.

They brought a hand to their face, before immediately retracting it back after noticing that it was no longer green. The shock of the sudden shift in appearance made Yuu fall down, breathing heavily.

Yuu always imagined this moment, thinking about how they’d react. And in every possible scenario they made up in their head, they would laugh or cry with joy, thanking the great seven for everything.

But, no.

They don’t know why, but they screamed.

Incorrect Quotes

Lilia: I can’t wait to see your best friend, Malleus!

Yuu: Why, hello, handsome!

Lilia, highly amused: Is that a talking frog?

Silver: How did you and the young master meet?

Yuu: Oh, well, when we were younger, he threw a golden ball at me.

Sebek, telling Ace off: HOW DARE YOU RUIN THE NAME OF THE G—

Yuu, enters: Heya, Croco!

Sebek, hugging Ace: And that is why I cherish you, as a friend!

Leona, insultingly: You smell like a lake.

Yuu: Actually, it’s a pond!

Floyd: I’m going to call you, Frog-chan!

Yuu: Uncreative! Next!

Yuu, with Riddle: If being a teenage mom is a crime, then I’m innocent, this is my short friend.

Rook: I know what you are, Mademoiselle du lac.

Yuu: He’s going to say frog…

Rook: They’re definitely married to Roi des dragons.

Jamil: I swear to the great seven, that I’ll kill that octopus!!

Yuu: That’s not very bonvita of ya, Jam-Jam!

Idia: Alright, it’s been 6 months. Let’s see your progress.

Yuu, in front of a lot of laptops: I have made an entire mobile game which is so addictive that people CANNOT stop playing, it has risen to the top of the charts and become the most popular game on the internet. Next, I’m planning on invading Mars.

Idia: Good, good. Malleus?

Malleus, in front of an old computer, holding a rat: I finally located the mouse.

Idia: *unholy screaming

Rollo, exists:

Yuu, rofl: LOOK AT THE TOP OF HIS HEAD!!!!

[argyrocratie]

Solidarity among the Displaced

How Russian Anarchists in Exile Supported Armenian Refugee Squatters

(2023-09-19)

Throughout the world, mass displacement is accelerating as climate catastrophe, economic crisis, and war drive millions into exile, both within their own countries and across borders. These mass migrations are exacerbating gentrification, driving up housing costs just as real estate speculation is rendering more and more people homeless. How can displaced people continue to take political action in their new homes, establishing solidarity across ethnic lines in unfamiliar settings? In Armenia, Russian anarchists living in exile set one example, supporting Armenian refugees who had squatted the abandoned Ministry of Defense.

(...)

In the last decade, Yerevan saw several waves of protests. Do you see people building historical knowledge and experience from one struggle to the next?

With regards to the movement of the 2010s in Yerevan, there really was a street movement in which Armenian anarchists participated. There were protests against the increase in electricity prices, an anarchist bloc participated in a demonstration on human rights day, there was an action against the gentrification of Yerevan, and an action of anarcho-feminists. But unfortunately, all of the people from that generation have either left politics, joined political parties, or gone abroad to Russia or Europe.

Today, the anarchists in Armenia are mostly emigrants from the Russian Federation. In fact, I only know two Armenian anarchists: N—, a punk musician (who became an anarchist in the early 2020s), and S—, an anarcho-feminist who lectures in our space and occasionally publishes in left-wing and anarchist magazines (who also became anarchist around that time). Neither them, alas, was connected to the movements and affinity groups of the 2010s.

There is also an anarchist from Israel: Y—, a Jewish woman who gave birth in the Crimea, repatriated to Israel, lived there for 18 years in kibbutzim and participated in the anarchist movement there (including contact with “Anarchists Against the Wall”), married an Armenian and moved to Yerevan, and decided to establish a café here with anarchist and feminist themes. The café became a gathering place for the local Jewish community (for example, at Shabbat celebrations every Saturday), as well as for the creative intelligentsia, who held public readings there.

All this continued until Russia invaded Ukraine, after which the Russian authorities began to persecute their citizens even more, and hundreds of thousands of anti-war Russians (including anarchists) fled the country.

As a result, Armenia, which was mono-ethnic for almost all the years of its independence, is now more diverse.

The door of the Mama-jan café. The second sticker says “No war” in Russian.

That is how our small circle was formed, which now represents the entire anarchist movement in Armenia.

There are many different people among us. One is actively involved in veganism and even founded his own vegan cooperative (which I also joined). Others, like one friend who is a Christian anarchist, collect humanitarian aid for the victims of the war. There is a queer anarchist group that continues to engage in street activism.

How did you go about supporting the squatters?

As soon as we learned that they had been forcibly evicted, we decided to go and help them. We went to them several times and, despite some initial distrust, my friends managed to find a common language with them.

As a result, at the next weekly meeting, we discussed how to go about supporting them. One of the sympathizers of anarchist ideas, a visitor to our circle, arranged to supply firewood for using potbelly stoves to heat their tents. Also, as an anti-war activist with certain connections, I managed to invite a journalist friend there. During a subsequent visit, they met us very hospitably. We helped to unload the firewood and they fed us and taught us to play backgammon.

We made a report about the situation for emigrant Russian-language media, which later played a very important role. We also established contact with the charitable organization “Ethos,” which was founded by relocators in Yerevan and is engaged in helping both Ukrainian and Armenian refugees.

Thanks to the fact that news coverage appeared about the eviction and was reposted on our initiative via various publishing houses (for example, in “Doxa,” which actively covered the persecution of anarchists and anti-war protesters), we were able to initiate a collection for food, medicine, and fuel in Ethos. In the end, we collected 60,000 drams more than planned! [The equivalent of approximately $157, still a significant amount of money for some refugees in Armenia.]

Also, the squatters began to actively invite us to their protests: they held these every Thursday and every Monday near the government building and the State Expenditure Committee. My friends and I held a poster reading “State, why did you take away people’s housing” with anarchist symbols.

The squatters were very pleased with our support, and even invited us to barbecues—which was especially ironic in the case of our vegan friend.

What do anarchists have to offer to struggles for housing?

Anarchism, in principle, throughout its history, has been very interested in the housing issue. It is not for nothing that during the Paris Commune, one of the revolutionary decisions of the council was to settle homeless Parisians in the apartments of bourgeois emigrants who had fled to Versailles, and to establish a ban on evicting tenants for non-payment of rent. Housing insecurity is a significant aspect of modern society, a challenge to which anarchists must respond.

The example of this eviction is particularly striking. It shines a light on all the absurdity and immorality of a civilization based on private property.

_

The house was not built by its owner. It was erected, decorated, and furnished by innumerable workers—in the timber yard, the brick field, and the workshop, toiling for dear life at a minimum wage… Who, then, can appropriate to himself the tiniest plot of ground, or the meanest building, without committing a flagrant injustice? Who, then, has the right to sell to any bidder the smallest portion of the common heritage? On that point, as we have said, the workers are agreed. The idea of free dwellings showed its existence very plainly during the siege of Paris, when the cry was for an abatement pure and simple of the terms demanded by the landlords. It appeared again during the Commune of 1871, when the Paris workmen expected the Communal Council to decide boldly on the abolition of rent. And when the New Revolution comes, it will be the first question with which the poor will concern themselves. Whether in time of revolution or in time of peace, the worker must be housed somehow or other; he must have some sort of roof over his head. But, however tumble-down and squalid your dwelling may be, there is always a landlord who can evict you… Refusing uniforms and badges–those outward signs of authority and servitude–and remaining people among the people, the earnest revolutionists will work side by side with the masses, that the abolition of rent, the expropriation of houses, may become an accomplished fact. They will prepare the ground and encourage ideas to grow in this direction; and when the fruit of their labours is ripe, the people will proceed to expropriate the houses without giving heed to the theories which will certainly be thrust in their way–theories about paying compensation to landlords, and finding first the necessary funds. On the day that the expropriation of houses takes place, on that day, the exploited workers will have realized that the new times have come, that Labour will no longer have to bear the yoke of the rich and powerful, that Equality has been openly proclaimed, that this Revolution is a real fact, and not a theatrical make-believe, like so many others preceding it. -Peter Kropotkin, The Conquest of Bread

[respectthepetty]

I’m late. But obsessed with EarthMix and ONLY just finished Moonlight chicken and look, I will believe anything from these shows. Anything! A body swap, yea I’m game, time travel? Sure thing I’ll buy that.

But at no point. At any point, can they try and convince me that Earth is a 40 year old man. Like. Hunny no.

BUT they can convince me that if you show Mix’s Forehead. His Duality reaches another level.

Thank you for allowing me to ramble on your ask, with not an ask but more of a statement of feelings.

🙃

Anon, fair warning this is going to turn into a

Mama Gogo & Jojo Appreciation Post

I've written it plenty of times, but as a person who is always late, it doesn't matter that you're late as long as you show up. And obviously, you show up for the good stuff!

(I'm unsure about the comment about Mix's forehead. I don't understand it. It is very much my reading comprehension, not you, so I'm gonna moonwalk around it. Sorry.)

EarthMix did give us body swapping in Cupid's Last Wish and Magic of Zero: Zero Supporter, which I think is funny that their Cupid's Last Wish characters basically got a sponsored Our Skyy episode before A Tale of Thousand Stars did.

And I believed them as heartbroken best friends, Batman & Robin, in the New Jiew video.

So if their A Tale of Thousand Stars installment has time travel where the chief isn't playing someone already in his 30s, I would be delighted, but I know we can't get that on top of them looking adorable. We can only be so lucky!

But, like you stated, GMMTV trying to convince me that Earth is 40 when he JUST turned 29?! The audacity!

Especially when these children are older than him!

Off (32), Gun (turning 30 this year), Tul (30), and Max (turning 29 in a month).

That's the magic of film, but @dribs-and-drabbles had an entire post about how we want stories about older queers with older people acting in them! And you know what's shocking?!

THIS IS 40!!!!!!

Nat aka Chopper's dad from Never Let Me Go is 40. If he was good enough to play Chopper's daddy, then he is good enough to play a daddy, you feel me?!

First, I need everyone to watch Mama Gogo where that scene came from because it served nothing but looks every single episode, and it was written AND directed by the Jojo, who also put Nat in Never Let Me Go which he also directed.

If you like Earth, Jojo gave us treats. If you like Mike and Drake, Jojo had you. If you like 40-year-old daddies, Jojo fed you! GO LOOK AT THE POSTER!

And for the ladies who like ladies, THIS IS 42!

Once again, we have Jojo to thank for Sine looking fine in 3 Will Be Free.

So what I'm trying to say is as much as I love director Aof, who is beautiful and amazing, he stays aging up these boys, while Jojo appreciates the variety of actors' ages. Aof had First looking like a divorced dad of two with a mortgage and alimony due, when we all know that 24-year old is a precious baby boy who needs to stay hydrated because he cries so much.

Jojo would never do that! He is giving First a baseball bat and the rest of these 20-year old boys their slut era in Only Friends!

So if you want to see Earth be a 20-year old himbo, Jojo is the answer.

Jojo is always the answer.

[peachjagiya]

hi peach...

i don't know if you've heard about the scandals with deepfake porn in sk, which is really just a tip of the iceberg of many things. the state of things are horrible for women. the male population are pretty much horrible, and i know that is a generalizing statement but the statistics agree. womens position in korean society is seriously not good. and i don't want to make this about myself. but i don't know how i can continue to support bts. yes, on one hand, there is nothing that shows that these men are like that, and most things show that they are good people. and i would never even think these things about them if it werent for the things i have read. but they are also very protected, and are meant to be portrayed in positive light. i just mean, even though i feel that i can trust them, i also can't? but i don't want to judge them for things they haven't done. i don't know why i am sending this to you, i know you probably don't have the answers. but i like reading your blog and i am especially invested in tk even though i like all of bangtan. i know that we know very little. it just scares me. i know that i have to accept that we can not know for sure, but how do i continue to support them then? but my life would feel so empty without them, i don't think i could stop supporting them either because my heart does not believe these things about them. i just don't know how to justify it to myself when i read about these women suffering, i want to help and support them and if supporting male idols isn't then... i don't know. i know i probably shouldn't invest so much in these artists that i don't know, but i can't help it... if something ever came out about them, i don't think i could take it.. what are your thoughts on this, and maybe your followers too? thank you

<3

I am so sorry this has affected you this way. I think your concerns are valid - ultimately we shouldn't be placing any person we don't personally know on a pedestal, man nor woman.

The first thing my wife said to me when I said I was getting Tae tattooed on my arm was "What if he turns out to be a bad person?" and I did have a think about it. Like all I actually know him is what I value in him. That stuff isn't for nothing. I think it's very human to gravitate towards traits in people that feel familiar, help you feel seen, make you feel good, give you that dopamine. But you do need to consider there's always a possibility.

(In the end I decided to go ahead with tattoo anyway. It's not photorealistic, it's a photoshoot that represents something I've been into a lot longer than BTS, etc)

The advice I have is make their humanity your baseline. My baby army observation is that we're not very good at treating these guys like humans even when they haven't done anything wrong. We expect perfection, we expect they share their whole brain with us, we expect a lot from them that is highly unreasonable to expect.

Accepting they're human as a baseline means you're less surprised when they behave like humans who make mistakes, who are flawed and imperfect, who probably have darkness in them like everyone does. And if they should have committed a crime you find abhorrent, you're not losing the idol love of your life.. you're cutting loose a human.

Of course this is easier said than done. I fully admit BTS, especially TKK, are a huge source of dopamine for my depressed ass. If I had to cut them off for any reason, it would suck! I would be so sad. That feeling is ok too.

Think about JK R0wling. Nearly every single queer I know personally was once a Harry Potter OBSESSIVE. I know about eight lesbians with a Deathly Hallows tattoo. And she has let our community down. She has gone all in on a hate campaign against us to the point where I have gently held my gender questioning child, with a non-binary mama, by the shoulders in a shop and explained softly that I would never be buying him Harry Potter pyjamas he wanted because "the person who created this is an open and active bully." And do you know what? It's fine. My son is fine. I am fine.

If I said to the much younger Peach who idolised her that one day the sight of her would make us feel sick, much younger Peach would have been devastated and disbelieving. But you know what? It has been remarkably easy to get over it. My life is actually missing nothing as a result of getting rid of a deeply abhorrent author who was once my world.

All eight lesbians have got or are in the process of getting them covered or removed. And they're fine too.

So that's what if they HAD done something.

But the thing to remember... is that they haven't. And it's still ok to enjoy them right now! This Yoongi situation probably hasn't helped because I think I'm feeling overanxious about stuff like this too. You can only act on facts though. Half the criticism they receive online is just people making stuff up.

The Nth room stuff was wrapped up in 2020. They weren't on lists then. The new Telegram stuff is an ongoing investigation. They have not been arrested. This doesn't mean there's no way BTS have ever been involved. It just means based on the facts, we have nothing untoward to go on.

If "protected" is an indicator of maybe there's shady dealings going on, then every film, every piece of music, every TV show, every book has a connection to shady stuff. Art exists to get us through hard times, not to make things worse. That's why it sucks so much when artists DO let us down. Because they take away a piece of something we need to be happy. Music, art, film, literature.

You can't live like that, anon. You're doing the right thing by educating yourself, by believing victims, by being appalled by this. I know many people who simply don't become so affected by this stuff that they even think about it beyond the article they read and a few more who would laugh it off. You are on the right side of history. Think what your care means to people who've been abused. In a world where people do not listen to women, you're saying you hear them and you see them. That does actually mean something.

But please protect your spirit - you need to be able to sing, and look at pictures and watch films. You're not doing the wrong thing to still enjoy things right now when the world is in the dumpster. There's nothing to suggest BTS have been involved... so stick with facts.

Anxiety is ruling our collective mind at the moment, I think, and though she's helpful in small doses, Anxiety is a bitch in big doses. Letting Joy take control is not naivete. It's strength.

I don't know who you are but I am sending you so much love, anon.

💜

[dearweirdme]

Hi! So there's this theory that Taekook are married. I know few about that and I don't know if it's even possible knowing that it's not legalized in the country. But anyway. Some tkkrs said that if it's the case it would have been around those periods:

-End of 2020 maybe or the middle. This is based on life goes on mama 2020. Since they were dressed in white and the outfit gave major wedding vibes and also how they just stood side by side without the other's singing to each other's.

https://pin.it/2dDJUrnEG

2. This is one is about the Las Vegas trip which has a lot of theories even to this day. I tend to think there are much more things on this day that we will probably never know about. And tkkrs thought that because yoongi talked about a certain wedding drive thru or something and he seemed to be teasing. This was during a live in 2021 if I'm not wrong.

https://pin.it/6UQUjPefy

Hi anon! You are going to think I am very boring... I have no reason to believe they are married. I have untraditional views on marriage altogether.. so I also think it doesn't really matter, since I believe commitment is mostly in the heart.. though if it's their dream to be married (and marriage does mean so much to so many queer people for whom the right to get married is not something they can count on) I fully hope they will.

If they are married, I don't think we would be able to pinpoint when and where this happened. I know of the moments you mentioned, but I just don't see much proof to make anything of it.

I think Tae and Jk are committed and have been for quite some time. I also think they have dreams of a future together. To me that is basically all that matters.

[thesporkidentity]

an incomplete list of texts i sent as i slowly lost my mind over the second book of rivers of london, because i fully intend to drag at least one more person into this pit with me. come read with me i promise you're gonna feel so good and normal over this book, come closer

wow okay peter remains the absolute horniest bastard ever. is he a tits or an ass man? yes

oh we are just getting the surface levels hints of nightingales MOUNTAIN of unresolved PTSD and i am very 🥺

you ever feel like a character was written specifically to appeal to you? i'm getting so many tantalizing hints and i KNOW he's going to destroy because he's catnip. he is bait specifically designed to hurt my feelings

also his description makes me think of lee pace or like, 90s/00s paul mcgann and that's just Very Good and i'm being deeply not normal about it

also nightingale reads as SO queer to me, and the potential in fic to explore what that means insofar as how he has navigated the changing landscape of queerness from 1900 to present day is so tantalizing. i don't care that the author says he's not, in this case the author is wrong lol

i must say, i do not care for simone. if we absolutely MUST have hetersexual nonsense in this book i would like beverly back please. she was cool and not a cheating homewrecking jazz groupie lol

still not impressed with simone. i mean, far be it from me to judge a woman's grieving process and all, but she doesn't seem very broken up over her within-the-week dead lover. i mean, i LOVE peter and all and he's hot shit, but immediately falling into bed with him? sus

in conclusion bring 👏 bev 👏 back 👏

also peter, buddy, WHAT ARE YOU DOING

he's a disaster so even though i'm screaming DON'T DO THAT i am unsurprised he is being led around by his dick by a beautiful woman throwing herself at him

but i just. i Don't Trust Her. she doesn't make sense, and i can't tell if this is a case of male author writing wish fulfillment and thus not giving the hot girl adequate motivation of her own

or whether i AM supposed to find it suspicious the way she basically doesn't mourn the man she homewrecked who died very suddenly and then IMMEDIATELY jumps into bed with the magic cop investigating his very probable murder

and i REALIZE the only way to find out is to keep reading, it's just frustrating that women are written poorly so often that, even if he's written good women before, i still have to debate with this is a subtle clue or just Male Author Syndrome

oh my god he finally twigs that this may be weird behavior. peter. bud.

at least he got it before trying to sneak her past folly wards?

side note: god lesley really got the short end of the stick. like, her face fell off, her teeth are a fucking mess, and she probably has brain damage. she got royally shafted

peter "i'm totally straight" grant, talking about how he wants to take a muscly guy by the shoulders and kiss his cheeks and making sure to mention how many phone numbers her got while canvasing the gay bar.

hmm sure, jan

look i KNOW peter is Incredibly Horny All The Time when near any attractive woman, but simone appears from NOWHERE half dressed while he's canvassing for the jazz vampire and he just skives off like that? while looking for a potential killer? that doesn't seem like him he's not that irresponsible. that smells like conspiracy and glamour and i don't trust herrrrrrr

like, peter was already horny wanting to motorboat mama thames (lol don't think i didn't catch that pun) last book. but this book has been a whole new level of horny, and peter may be distractible but not THAT distractible surely

another side note. i love molly and nightingale's weird friendship they've developed living basically with just each other for decades.

oh jesus that's fucked up

oh the severed head is talking

oh. oh no. it got worse

peter, darling, beloved, is now REALLY the time to be talking about how hot your boss is? like i appreciate your dedication to the thirst but time and place, bud

oh never mind i forgive you nightingale is so fucking cool, i get it, i love him

he's so good. the most tragic backstory and perfect stiff upper lip old fashioned english gentleman on the outside, and then just below the surface he's a daredevil and a bit of a bitch and he fucking CARES just SO MUCH and have i mentioned how much the casterbrook wall HURTS ME?? this was revealed in the last book but i just remembered it and it stabbed me again

okay i'm done

i feel like peter has miscalculated making a deal with his cousin to teach her if she aces latin. that's gonna come back to bite lol hope you like teaching too smart for their own good teenagers cuz that's gonna be your life now

"but sir, what do we do if you die??!" "well, that doesn't seem like it will be my problem at that point :)" he's such a bitch sometimes and i LOVE him, mother

ohhhhh. oh no. the pale lady looked like molly and now molly is obviously not okay after she died, that resemblance wasn't just coincidence she definitely knew her 😢

and this is the first person peter has killed, no matter how accidentally. and nightingale is back in the hospital with his chest infection. wow everyone is just having a terrible time right now

okay. i realize that as a memory for him this probably isn't a GOOD one, it's from the war and probably much scarier and MUCH more traumatizing than he makes it sound with his dry narration of it. but god. nightingale knocked out two TANKS. by himself. with his mind. fucking sexy lol

oh damn it why can't they just let me be horny about how powerful he is instead of immediately following it with the fact that he was rear guard and making emotional that it means he was the one trusted to watch over and protect the rest of his men while they retreated as that one final shield between them and enemy fire

hhhhhhhholy shit what did simone DO to mama grant???!!!!

she just bitch slapped her!

OH MY GOD SHE TRIED TO HOMEWRECK HIS PARENTS TOO???

she's PLAUSIBLY IMMORTAL???

fuck i was right she was sketchy as hell!!

she's a fucking jazz vampire and she's been glamouring and sucking him dry! buddy, get to dr walid STAT for a brain scan and make sure she's not turning you into cauliflower!

peter don't you make excuses for her you KNOW it's possible, stop lying about your mum and trying to make her feel better you need to take her in she's a m u r d e r e r

i mean, glamour yes i realize but god, frustrating

good lad peter, i see you fighting it 💪🏾

ohhhhhhhh. oh fuck. she didn't KNOW. she didn't know she was from the 40s and killing people. oh this is bad

nightingale, attempting to show concern: "that was not the most intelligent thing you've done" xD 10/10 nailed it buddy

umm, nightingale? this may not be the black and white moral situation you think it is to go in guns blazing...

it's both funny and little sad how militant both molly and dr walid are when nightingale is injured like. i do LOVE when the person who is SUPPOSEDLY in charge gets lovingly bullied, but it hurts because that's also probably the ONLY way to make him take care of himself is if they FORCE him. and peter's not any better, he's gonna need bullying too

i do love when they team up though. molly and nightingale ganging up against peter like. nightingale gets the special treatment and a hot cocoa from molly, but peter gets the dog's leash and smug little "i'm on bedrest :)" or nightingale foisting the rest of his kidney pie on peter while molly is out of the room then grabbing his empty plate back to pretend he ate it all himself when she returns xD

the cases are interesting and all, but i think it's the core characters that are really the standout of the novel and the reason i keep reading even while i'm asking myself things like, but WHY is she killing via vagina dentata instead of literally any other assassination method? i think it's also why simone stood out so much. she HAD no background that we were told (until now) aside from being sexy. which of course i now know was intentional

"this is your brain, which is not only clean and unsullied by thought..." i love dr walid. it probably says something about me that my favorite characters all have to be at least a little bit of a bitch

oh no i'm having feeeeeelings about both nightingale and peter trying to keep the other out of the vampire raid to shield them from the emotional effects of it, just from opposite ends. nightingale doesn't want peter to have the pain of ANOTHER death on his hands, this one purposeful as opposed to the accidental death of the pale lady, so he's trying to just cut him out of it. and then peter ALSO doesn't want NIGHTINGALE to have the weight of more deaths on his soul and wants to protect him from what he sees as the unfortunate necessity of having to off someone who isn't intentionally hurting someone but still may be too dangerous to live. nightingale trying to save peter from his bleeding heart and peter saving nightingale from his practicality overriding his morality 😭 i just love when characters try to take care of each other in mirrored ways

uh...uh oh peter...no i don't think those are the police OR nightingale's paratrooper buddies

okay the audiobook is fucking excellent though, his infomercial voice while extolling the virtues of doc martins is KILLING me

oh this posh wanker. "oh what is feeding on people but another form of exploitation, and we all know there's nothing wrong with exploiting workers, equality is morally bankrupt anyway" god i hate you already you're insufferable

like of COURSE a dining club oxford nose wipe would think that way. he thinks he's sooooo slick and original with his chimeras they're such exciting new COL crimes but it all just boils down the the exact same rich white bullshit mentality

he would hate it if he realized how dull and banal his villainy is once you strip back the shock value of the trappings. just another entitled prick who views people as things, fuck this dude

i'd be tempted to say the faceless man's signare smelling like pork was a dig at david cameron and piggate if i didn't know it was written a few years too early for that lol

peter: oh no nightingale is going to give me SUCH a bollocking nightingale, obviously so relieved he's alive: very much does NOT give him a bollocking and instead tells him how impressive it is that he didn't just immediately die against the faceless man

"for a terrifying moment i thought he was going to huge me, but fortunately we both remembered we were english just in time. still, it was a close call" 🤣🤣🤣

oh ouch peter. just use all his dead friends against him. effective but also, low blow

god he wants so badly for peter to be right, too, that they and HE doesn't have to kill anyone anymore, that how that it's not Just Him ALl Alone they might have the support structure for other options. oh no i want this to work so badly so that hope is validated, but i just know something is gonna go wrong

welp

i didn't like her but i didn't want her fuckin DEAD you know?

and now the ones left standing have to deal with the trauma and the fallout

oh lesley :( they're both trying so hard to be normal about it and they're such good friends 🥺

LESLEY DO MAGIC?

LESLEY JOIN TEAM FOLLY???!!

also don't think you've been sneaky there and that i haven't noticed SOME sort of thematic symmetry of lesley struggling with having lost her face involuntarily from magic, and the faceless man having voluntarily masked himself. involuntary vs voluntary loss of identity. i'm sure there will be more parallels in the next book but like. i see you. i see you setting up face themes with these two

hopefully with lesley regaining her face somehow and thus reclaiming identity while the faceless man is unmasked thus losing the identity he built for himself and revealing the true one he hid. maybe hopefully? i want good things for lesley and bad things for the faceless one.

[foggyfanfic]

Encanto Headcanons Nobody Asked For

Hello! I am putting off writing my last essay of the semester, so here are some headcanons!

The thing where the kids touch the candle and promise to help Encanto however they can started as Alma's way to reassure nervous villagers that the Madrigals wouldn't misuse their gifts.

When Alma first got her door and saw an old woman on it, she was super confused, but also too tired from the day's events to question it too much. When she eventually looks the same as her picture on the door she has a small mid-life crisis that she reveals to nobody.

Same for each of the triplets.

People do actually break into song in universe, it is a side effect of all the magic in Encanto. The first time it happened was about seven months in and everybody freaked out about it for months.

Alma eventually gets used to the singing thing and never thinks to mention it isn't normal to her kids or grandkids. In fact, most people in Encanto take the singing for granted, so when the mountains open up and they get a few new villagers nobody bothers to warn them that the village will regularly break into song.

I know the creators said the village is completely self sufficient, but like... where's the quarry for all the stone? Where are they making glass, that requires a specific kind of sand, do they have that sand? How are they getting new books? Nah bro, the village has three merchants who journey past the mountains twice a year.

I know the generally accepted headcanon is that Agustin was born outside of the Encanto, but I think his parents were city dwellers visiting family when the village got raided. They escaped with their hosts and planned to take their family back to the city with them, then ended up in a magic paradise instead.

In the same vein, Agustin's dad was a banker and has become the town's unofficial treasurer since that's about the only way he can contribute with his skill set.

Agustin's mother passed in childbirth, his father eventually remarried, but only after a few years of grieving. Agustin has three much younger half siblings.

Bubba comes to Encanto and does indeed get with Isabela, but I mean... some AMAB dude who surrounds himself with the trappings of masculinity and had zero problem seeing through Isabella's hyper feminine facade? Trans woman Bubba. All I'm saying. (Transphobes dni, neither of us will change the other's mind).

The art book had something about Isabela looking more indigenous than her sisters, so we know the family has indigenous roots. I wasn't able to find a lot about queer history in Colombia, but I did see that two native men were murdered by colonizers for being gay out in the open. That kinda implies that homophobia comes from the colonialist side of modern Colombia. I choose to believe that Alma has a great aunt on the native side of her family who is married to a woman. She grew up hearing that they have to keep the marriage secret to protect her aunts, so when she notices Bruno has a boyfriend, she starts planning a secret wedding without mentioning anything to Bruno.

Bruno doesn't realize his mama knows he's not straight, he thinks he's hidden it very well. When Isabela and Bubba nervously come out at dinner and Alma asks Bruno if he has any advice about being queer, Bruno inhales what he's eating and needs the Heimlich.

I agree in general with queer Madrigal headcanons, but I'm also aware that we're dealing with an isolated community a couple decades before the lgbt rights movement really kicked off in Colombia. I suspect most of the characters wouldn't use any of the labels we use today, and in fact, characters like Mirabel wouldn't stop to consider they're not straight until they've already been happily married for two decades.

That said, I think Mirabel is what we consider to be bi with a heavy preference for men. Her husband is quiet and doesn't have a single creative bone in his body, but thinks everything she sews deserves to be put in a museum. They bond because he commissions her to make something for his mother.

Luisa gets a tiny little husband who falls to pieces when she flexes. He does not understand people who say she is too masculine, or call Isabela the pretty one.

Camilo's youngest son is autistic, not that any of them know that's what the kid's deal is. Camilo just thinks his son is hilariously blunt and really into bugs. He doesn't really get how the kid can spend hours looking at an ant hill without getting bored, but whatever, he'll just buy the kid an ant farm for his birthday.

When women marry into the Madrigal family that don't have anybody to walk them down the aisle, they ask Tio Bruno to do it. It started with Camilo's wife, whose father is abusive, and became a tradition as the family grew.

When Mirabel becomes a grandmother the family starts calling her Mirabuela. Similarly, Antonio eventually becomes Tio Nio, to the point that some people forget he has a first name.

I actually have a lot of headcanons about the future of the Madrigal family but this is getting long, so I'm going to stop. I've ended up mentally writing whole ass fics for Camilo's wife and his youngest granddaughter, as well as for Mirabel's daughter, and Dolores' great grandson, so if I get into all of that this thing is going to triple in length.

[waitmyturtles]

Alright, happy Monday! As previously promised during my review of A Tale of Thousand Stars: in preparation for the eventual release of Moonlight Chicken, I would love to share in a long manifesto my love, my passion, the GOSPEL, for what I think may be the unsung hero and character of that show, without even seeing an episode -- the actual dish of Hainanese chicken rice itself, which is known as khao man gai in Thailand.

(LONG POST! TL;DR: this post is going to contain a quick explanation of why it is SO BOMB that there’s a THAI BL that focuses ON THIS DISH, a description of the dish itself, a diasporic history of Hainanese chicken rice, links to a few recipes, and a list of places where I’ve had Hainanese chicken rice in the States.)

Borrowing a photo from Mark Wiens! Let’s get started.

Girl, why exactly are you going off on all this?

Why, oh why, you may ask -- why should Mama Turtles wax POETIC about the seemingly simple dish of chicken rice? The simple name of the dish belies a deeply cultural symbol of so much -- of the roles that particular dishes play in Southeast Asian cultures, of how such a dish can be so difficult to make AND to relate to, and at least most importantly to me, how immigration and diasporas created the complicated and diverse foodways and cultural fabrics that we see in this part of the world. 

(For the record, I’m part Malaysian, and have spent significant time of my adult life in Malaysia and Singapore. While these areas are not Thailand specifically, there’s tons of shared food preparation, culture, and appreciation from Thailand, down south to Penang and the Malay Peninsula, and down to Singapore.)

Why is khao man gai such a big deal vis à vis Moonlight Chicken?

Before I talk about the details of the dish itself, I want to set the context of why is it SO MOTHERBLEEPING LOVELY that there’s a Thai BL (with our DARLING Earth and Mix starring in it, with the DARLING First and Khao in supporting roles) that is ostensibly centered on a man making khao man gai. This is deeply heart-warming, soul-settling, feel-good shiz to me, and I think that a lot of Thai BL fujoshis who are obsessed with food, like me, would feel the same way. 

Hainanese chicken rice/khao man gai is made of the most humble of ingredients -- chicken, rice, water, salt. 

The fact that there would be a queer series centered around a queer man making khao man gai and selling it to others -- it means that a dish that is totally, utterly accessible to EVERY SINGLE PERSON in a country is being centered in a show focused on queer relationships....the kinds of relationships that should also be accessible to EVERY SINGLE PERSON who wants this kind of a relationship in an Asian country. 

This will make even more sense as I continue writing about the dish, but suffice to say, while it’s complicated to make, Hainanese chicken rice is about the most egalitarian food there is -- and the freedom to love whoever you want should also be as egalitarian as that. 

What is Hainanese chicken rice/khao man gai, and what is the big bleeping deal about it?

Before I jump to Wikipedia, maybe I should have Earth himself explain the dish.

That last screenshot is truth.

Obviously, the easiest place to find a background on this dish is Wikipedia, and what I actually didn’t know before starting to type this up is that khao man gai literally means “chicken oily rice,” which totally sums up this dish. While it seems simple, it’s a very rich and filling dish, but also healthy-ish, because you’re still eating chicken, which is not the richest or fattiest of meats.

The dish consists of rice that’s first been sautéed with aromatics like ginger and garlic, and (in many, but not all cases) also sautéed with rendered chicken fat. (If you’re from the East Coast of the States or are part of a Jewish community, you’ll know this ingredient as schmaltz.)

That fatty sautéed rice is then steamed in chicken broth, ideally in chicken broth that you yourself made while you were boiling the chicken that you’ll use in your khao man gai. As far as that chicken goes, you’ve cleaned it, prepped it, maybe you rubbed salt on it to get rid of any impurities on the skin, and boiled it until it’s cooked, but not overcooked. If you’re in Thailand, you might just let it cool; if you’re in Malaysia or Singapore, or elsewhere in Asia, you might give that baby a dip in ice water after it’s done cooking, to tighten up the skin and give the skin a jellied texture that is beloved by many. You also might rub some sesame oil on your chicken after the boiling process, which is done in some, but not all, places.

You also might go wild and serve your rice not just with the boiled chicken, but also with roasted chicken, or fried chicken, or a combo of boiled/roasted/fried chicken. You ALSO might WILD OUT MORE and ALSO serve your chicken rice with, say, crispy siu yuk, which I’ve had, and like.... ooooommmmfffffgggg. It sends shivers down my spine, it’s so good.

You’ve also made the broth perfectly with aromatics, and possibly simmered either daikon or winter melon in the broth to serve alongside the composed dish of chicken and rice.

AND, you definitely best have made some side sauces. Garlic-ginger-vinegar sauce, maybe, or ginger-scallion oil, or red chili sauce, or all of them. In Thailand, a sauce that features taucu, or fermented yellow soybeans, seems to be an absolute must -- and it is goddamn pure heaven to put on your khao man gai. If you’re in Malaysia, a small dish of vinegared chili, known as chili padi, is a must must. Depending on where you’re eating this in Asia, you’ll put a bottle of dark soy sauce on the table for drizzling over all your rice, but -- you might not always see that at every place where you’re eating chicken rice.

In OTHER WORDS: this dish is a bit of a beast to make. The simple LOOK of the dish -- white chicken on top of white rice, with some sliced cucumbers to the side, and a bowl of broth next to it -- is totally disingenuous to the work you need to put in to make it taste great. Your broth, for instance, might be made by boiling chicken after chicken after chicken in it. That broth gets more concentrated and powerful over time as you’re putting in more and more aromatics in it. Your store is defined by your broth; by how perfectly each grain of rice is individually coated in a sheen of chicken fat, salt, and other seasonings; by your one-of-a-kind sauces that hit and accompany the chicken and the rice perfectly, and most importantly, by how all these components come together. If your soup, chicken, rice, and sauces are ALL PERFECTLY MADE, then you’ve hit paydirt, my friends. 

It’s VERY RARE to find a shop that does all these components perfectly, or at least at the same level of tastiness. 

Alright, so I get that this dish can be a motherfucker to make. But why is it such a big deal, culturally? Why would a Thai BL be focused on a guy making this dish?

So for this part, I first want to say that I think it’s very important for a Western audience to understand that this dish is deeply loved in MANY countries in Asia and Southeast Asia. I’ve eaten this dish with groups of Westerners in SE Asia -- actually exclusively white folks, now that I think about it -- and to a tee, I’ve heard complaints by them that this dish is boring and they can’t see what the big deal is about it.

I mean, American pork chops can be fine, or they can be boring, too. 

The fact that chicken rice spans multiple countries and foodways should tell a Western audience that there are qualities about it, as I listed above, that are far beyond the sum of its parts. For instance -- the way to get each GRAIN of rice coated in fat and flavor takes years of experience. Y’all, I still can’t get perfect rice in my rice cooker, and I’ve been making rice for my family for more than 10 years. These things take time to perfect, and not everything one eats in Asia is going to be bombastic, like, say, Taiwanese stinky tofu or a gorgeous omakase at a high-end sushi bar.

Part of the reason why this dish is so beloved is because it IS very ubiquitous from the China-to-Southeast-Asia diaspora. I can mostly speak for Malaysia (I apologize for not knowing more about immigration patterns in Thailand), but MUCH of the fabric of Malaysian cuisine comes from specifically regional immigrant diasporas, namely from the area of China that is now known as Fujian, but that’s not a hard and fast historical rule. Well-known populations from this area in China that settled in Malaysia include the Hakka and Hokkien populations (you may have seen Hakka mee or Hokkien mee on Malaysian restaurant menus), and they also include the Hainanese population, which brought a style of boiling chicken in broth to the areas where the population settled -- which include Thailand and Malaysia, and eventually Singapore, as Hainanese descendants moved farther south down the Malay peninsula. 

(By the way, if you’re ever curious, you need to read up on populations that were literally created after the first waves of Chinese immigration to Southeast Asia. The well-known Peranakan population in Malaysia, for instance, was literally created through interracial marriage of Chinese immigrants to native Malay populations, and a deeply important culture, including foodways, were born out of those marriages and population growth. It’s fascinating history in a world that often seems so hyperfocused on far right movements wanting “racial purity.” What cultural beauty comes out of populations and diasporas meeting each other and creating new cultures together.)

Back to the discussion: as Malaysian cultures and populations developed over time due in part to the influence of Chinese immigration through Southeast Asia, so, we assume, the same was happening in Thailand. (We can see deeply the effect of the influence of Chinese culture in a show like Big Dragon, which was centered around the telling of Chinese Buddhist myths through a Thai lens.) And as these immigrant populations from China traversed the Thai-Malay peninsula, their food habits stuck and were adopted by the native Southeast Asian populations. It’s no wonder that chicken rice became as beloved and ubiquitous as it did -- in part because rice is a staple food across the whole region, in part because it’s such a comforting dish (like congee, like juk, like okayu porridge), and in part because the individual ingredients themselves are humble and easy to find for your everyday home cook.

I want to just quickly touch upon the point of rice as a staple food. It seems so super obvious to us Asians, but especially for fans of QL that may not be Asian and/or may not have rice as a central and everyday food -- to make a dish like chicken rice perfectly, to have it center on the particular way in which you PREP and COOK the rice, for the rice to be all oily and salty and chicken-y -- the dichotomy of how humble rice is with how GLORIOUSLY TASTY and filling the final result of chicken rice is, can really move you. There are thousands of other rice preparations out there that are just as beloved as chicken rice -- from the Malaysian nasi lemak (literally “fat rice,” or rice cooked in coconut milk and served with delicious accompaniments) to Indian biriyani, to Japanese takikomi gohan or tamago kake gohan, to Korean bibimbap or gyeran bap -- you get the point. Dishes that center on rice are just beloved. They just are, because rice is so fundamentally egalitarian and important to our everyday way of being and eating. 

AND, the way in which you EAT chicken rice -- by mixing up the accompaniments throughout the eating process, dolling up each bite of rice with a different sauce, having a sip of soup, taking a bit of meat -- that whole process of making each bite taste different allows you to have a whirlwind experience of eating with, again, very humble ingredients that end up being far more than the sum of their rice-meat-and-veg parts.

And so. When Chinese populations were immigrating throughout Southeast Asia, they brought with them, and adapted over time, a style of making rice with chicken and fat that, again, seemed so simple, but was so full of a kind of quiet and comforting flavor, that it HAD to be adapted by every country and population in which the Chinese immigrants had settled. The love for rice in the whole region was going to lead to a guaranteed adaptation of this dish for generations to cook and enjoy. 

Finally, regarding Moonlight Chicken once more -- without having seen an episode yet, I want to offer some conjecture that I think (or hope) that the plot reflects the simple-but-complicated nature of the dish of khao man gai with whatever happens in the love triangles of Earth, Mix, First, and Khao. There might very well be love parallels that what seems to be simple is actually a beast to make, both in food and in relationships.

And regarding a cultural love for rice dishes, and the fact that this dish and a khao man gai establishment is at the heart of this show: it fills me up with so much comforting happiness that a khao man gai joint is what’s being used to center a theme of where people go to kick off the show. If you know of a great khao man gai joint -- you go to it, people flock to it. The trailer shows drunk people stumbling around. If you’re drunk and hungry, you want to go to a place that gives you comfort, right? That might be a McDonald’s, a taco truck, a diner, a 24-hour Korean restaurant (ugh, anju at 2 am while you’re nursing your eventual hangover...memories). 

Khao man gai IS COMFORT, and IS comfort food. Earth’s character providing that comfort...I’m just saying, there HAS to be parallels between khao man gai and the storyline of Moonlight Chicken. THERE MUST BE. Let a girl dream!

Damn, girl. You went OFF. Take some Altoids. Give us some recipes!

Yes, this is definitely a manifesto of manifestos of an amazing dish.

These recipes mark the cultural landscape of this dish. I’ll note where the recipe comes from. I encourage you to review these recipes and check out the small-and-large differences in how this dish is made, depending on where in Asia the recipe is centered. (For instance, many of these recipes call for that ice bath that I mentioned earlier; that’s not ubiquitous in Thailand.)

Also, I want to note that as far as the side soup goes, I’ve only seen that Thai preparations of khao man gai GUARANTEE the soup on the side. I’ve seen some places in Singapore offer the side soup, but not all. The addition of daikon or winter melon to the soup, in Thai preparations, gives me the shivers, it is so good. So if/when you’re making this at home, keep in mind that you can choose to serve the broth/soup on the side.

Two last notes -- this coming from me, a mom and busy home cook. I sometimes do a very bastardized version of this dish for my kids, where I poach chicken in aromatics, but I don’t sauté the rice beforehand -- I just chuck the rice in my rice cooker with my poaching liquid. When I do this, I always freeze a half-quart to a quart of broth. Then, when I make the dish again, I take out that frozen broth, add it to my pot with my new chicken and water, and start poaching again. Having that base of previous broth really DOES help make my future chicken and soups taste that much richer. 

AND -- while I have daikon available in my supermarket (thank you, big cities!), I often use turnips as the veg that I serve with the broth. I LOVE turnips in soup, y’all! Turnips in chicken soup are oniony without being overwhelming, and I love how translucent and creamy they get. They totally hold the flavor of broth beautifully. Next time you’re making soup, don’t leave the turnips behind, they’re great! (Oh, and also, a tip I learned from the Kinou Nani Tabeta mangas -- I also use leeks as an aromatic in my soup, along with garlic and ginger. Leeks are AMAZING in soup! They can help take away any gaminess you might get from poaching chicken or other meat.)

Okay, recipes!

The Woks of Life (China)

Food 52 (Thailand)

Mark Wiens (Thailand)

Rasa Malaysia (Malaysia)

Adam Liaw (Singapore-ish recipe, note the use of sesame oil for rubbing on the chicken after the ice bath -- not all recipes call for this)

Kwokspots (maybe we can call this a ubiquitously Asian recipe? I actually just love this dude on IG, I’m gonna hype up his recipe)

Um, this is a lot. Where can I order this dish?

In my post about A Tale of Thousand Stars, I referenced Eim Khao Man Gai in Elmhurst, Queens, NY (see footnote below). I unfortunately only know places to eat Hainanese chicken rice/khao man gai in either NY or SoCal, but I ENCOURAGE you to please seek it out wherever you live. 

Over the years, even while I’ve lived thousands of miles away from New York, Eim Khao Man Gai is my restaurant par excellence for khao man gai. It’s all they serve, and they do it SO well. Eim Khao Man Gai also does their chicken three ways -- steamed, roasted, and/or crispy. You guys, it’s just heavenly, and their side sauces are to die for.

In SoCal, Savoy Kitchen was the first place I heard of that specialized in chicken rice, and it’s incredible here. As well, I love Side Chick at the Westfield Santa Anita mall in Arcadia. I’ve eaten a bunch at Ipoh Kopitiam in Alhambra, but I haven’t tried their Singapore-style Hainan chicken rice yet -- it looks amazing, and many reviews say that it’s currently best version in the San Gabriel Valley. 

Back to New York for a second -- if you’re looking for a place more local to you that isn’t in Queens, just look at Yelp. If I lived in NYC now, I would be in tears with how much more available this dish has gotten over the years.

Wherever you are in the States -- the Bay Area, Texas, anywhere where there are significant Asian populations -- or wherever you are in the world, please seek out Hainanese chicken rice/khao man gai.  Again, it may not LOOK exciting on the menu. But you’ll get a taste for the kind of comfort food that really hits home for so many of us Asians.

Holy shit. You must be exhausted!

WOW WOW WOW, y’all. If you’ve gotten THIS FAR -- bless you! Thanks for going on this road with me. Please make, buy, and/or eat Hainanese chicken rice/khao man gai. Appreciate the differences of the dish from each of the cultures that you’re eating it from. Please give big hugs to GMMTV for focusing a BL on this most humble, beautiful, delicious, soul-satisfying dish. I’m hoping for all the food/love parallels. I’m dying to see Mix just snarf on a big plate of khao man gai to kick the series off.

Moonlight Chicken is gonna be SO GREAT! And chicken rice is just the best dish ever. Please enjoy it!

* * *

If you have the energy to read a little further, one more urge from your devoted food mom here. @secretsfromwholecloth​ noted in a comment on my ATOTS review that ae and aer friend had actually hit up Eim Khao Man Gai, which was SO RAD to read. If you have never visited NYC before, and you’re plotting your itinerary of the usual tourist stops -- I beg you to please save at least an afternoon to hop on the 7 train and head out to Queens. Queens has some of THE BEST RESTAURANTS in NYC. From Indian and Tibetan in Jackson Heights, to Thai and Filipino food in Elmhurst and Woodside, to Greek in Astoria, to Korean in Bayside and Flushing, and the monolith that is Flushing’s Chinatown -- Queens is the happiest and fucking coolest diverse place in the world. Don’t be afraid to leave Manhattan for an afternoon or even a whole day. Eat everything during the day, hit up Flushing Meadows Corona Park for some exercise, check out the Queens Museum and the awesome Noguchi Museum, unwind at a cocktail bar in Long Island City or Sunnyside at night. Queens is totally the unsung best borough in NYC, one of the most diverse counties in the States, and I’ll stand up for Queens County every minute of my life over Manhattan.