#man people like you are hilarious and sad

[crazylittlejester]

jes i have drunken water while i am sick are you proud of me

anyways. how tall do you think each link is?

im very proud :) make sure you keep doing that and get plenty of rest :)

and i feel like my height headcanons kinda change from time to time but at least for today:

Time: LU specifically, 5’9. Biblically accurate OOT Link, 5’5. and Mask is 4’10. He was a lot more mad about his height in his youth but now he couldn’t care less. Though he does think it’s hilarious he’s taller than Wars and will subtly rub that in his face in a very little shit kinda way, but its so subtle the others never really pick up on it. Like he’ll see Warriors reaching for something on a shelf and grab it for him even though he literally isn’t that much taller, and he takes joy in seeing the burning rage in the captain’s eyes. But Wars can’t yell at him because hes “just being nice”

Wars: 5’6 but he will LIE to you and say 5’8. Absolutely has thick ass soles on those boots to make him taller. He also refuses to admit he’s shorter than Twilight, like REFUSES

Twilight: 5’7/5’8, but he’s too nice to call Wars out on his bullshit because he’s noticeably taller and if he’s just barely 5’8 theres no way in hell Wars is. He used to be a little sad he never grew taller but he has other worries about his appearance that bother him far more than his height

Sky: 5’4, and he doesn’t deny it because frankly he doesn’t care. He killed Demise and now he’s on another quest, he doesn’t have time to be insecure about his height /j

Hyrule: 5’1 ish, and he’s just so oblivious to this fact. Like he knows people are taller than him but he doesn’t care and he also doesn’t know how tall he is off the top of his head

Legend: 5’0, and denies this. He’s the kid at school who always has platform and boots on. Unlike Warriors he doesn’t try to hide the fact he’s wearing big boots, but he does hide the face hes only 5’0

Wild: 5’2, and he couldn’t care less honestly, like yeah he’s short and has to look up to most people to talk to them but that doesn’t bother him he’s never not once been like “aw man… I’m short… /neg” its always been like “HEHE I CAN FIT IN THIS VERY SMALL CRACK”. He’s the kid who fit himself in the school lockers

Four: 4’4 because it’s funny to me. He’s not even mad about it, he actually thinks the others are disturbingly tall and its unnerving

Wind: Not QUITE 5’2 yet but he’s growin’ and FAST. He’ll reach 5’6 or 5’7 one day, and Wars will fall to the ground and sob

I am a FIRM believer that they are all short as hell. None of them are close to 6’0 and most of them are fine with this akskdkkddm

[aria-greenhoodie]

pretending to be a boy won't make society accept you. embrace yourself for who you've always been, don't change because others tell you that's the solution.

???? HELLO? LMFAO This is a ridiculously insulting and ignorant ask. “Ohhh embrace what you’ve always been” That’s really funny because “what I’ve always been” IS a Boy. I was never a Girl. I’m not “changing because others tell me that’s the solution” I’m just embracing who I’ve always been (a boy) instead of being what others expect and want me to (a girl). How backwards it is to suggest this at me. Dude no one is TELLING ME I’m trans, in fact, MOST people in my life are telling me I’m NOT trans or that I SHOULDN’T be trans (as if I have a choice) so you my good friend are WAY the fuck off.

And…. DO YOU THINK IM TRANS BECAUSE I THINK SOCIETY WILL ACCEPT ME?? NO! BEING TRANS MEANS SOCIETY FUCKING HATES ME LMAOOOOOO bro please do your research and stop annoying random ass trans people in their inboxes 💀 and while you’re at it, get off anonymous so I can block your ass, I don’t want you here if you thing I’m “pretending to be a boy” lol. Why not show yourself, you fucking coward. That way I can properly remove you from my internet feed 😂

[bohemian-nights]

The fact that you’d rather axe Nettles, the only canonically Black character, the only female dragonseed, the only non-Valyrian dragonseed, the only dragonseed who survives the Dance, Daemon’s redemption, a girl who comes from nothing yet ends up having a whole religion built around her—The fact that you’d rather axe the most important dragonseed and break her story up into little pieces to give to others(most of whom are undeserving of such development) thereby further escalating the nonsensical mess that is this show than just simply adapting her story like every other character in Fire & Blood…

[jade-len]

you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."

gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling

and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!

but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever

i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.

i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3

[ilovedthestars]

i'm only about 3/4 through the neon court on my reread, and i apparently didn't write anything down in all of the midnight mayor, so this is by no means a complete list, but please enjoy:

Some Ways People Have Described Matthew Swift

“He’s a sorcerer. […] Doesn’t stop him from looking like a starving pigeon, does it?” (Vera, MoA 320)

“You look like a piece of rotting road kill.” (Blackjack, MoA 357)

“This is a new one. […] Me talking to a bloody mystic power no less, disguised as a guy with a face like a soggy sandbag” (Blackjack, MoA 360)

“You’re not that guy who keeps on getting beaten up by inexplicable mystical darkness, are you?” (Dr. Seah, TNC 131)

“You’ve done well, Matthew. While resembling a chewed-up rodent you’ve still managed to make them afraid.” (Bakker’s ghost, TNC 307)

“Bloody hell are you all right I mean obviously you’re not all right you look like a fucking bulldozer has been using you for practice and getting it wrong but I guess what I’m asking is, are you bleeding internally?” (Penny, TNC 408)

*page numbers are from my trade paperback copies, which are roughly 500 pages long

(In his defense, some of these take place immediately after Matthew has been beaten up by inexplicable mystic darkness. However, considering that he spends approximately 50% of his time in that state, i think those are still representative)

[essektheylyss]

of chocolate truffles and baby brothers

Rating: G Characters: Essek Thelyss, Essek Thelyss' Father Additional Tags: Family Dynamics, Conversations, Family Fluff

Summary: A child sits alone on the steps of the Thelyss manor. His father comes to ask why he is pouting.

[sapphic-storm69]

POV: you’re staring at the person who made the saddest, most depressing movie you’ve ever seen, into a meme

[sapphothetic]

this man is sooooo boring

[shooks-stupid-stuff]

why do they always shaft alm bro-

[sylveriasarcana]

.

[ookaookaooka]

I’m hardly the first person to compare them but Terry Pratchett and J K Rowling really are polar opposites in terms of the way their writing treats weird characters. In Rowling’s writing, any weirdness is there to be laughed at (for example: Professor Trelawney, the fake seer who doesn’t know she’s an actual seer). In Pratchett’s writing, though, the characters’ weirdness is taken 100% seriously and the humor arises organically from the situation itself and is never at the characters’ expense (for example: in Making Money, the man who was born a clown and was never told so until he was 13 years old). In Rowling’s writing, the main characters poke constant fun at Professor Trelawney, making joke predictions and fudging homework and talking about how divination isn’t a legitimate field of study. Even after she gets fired and more or less drops the act, the joke changes to “look at this sad drunk lady” and the main characters express little sympathy. The narrative is saying she’s there to make one real prediction and otherwise she’s only there for comic relief. This sort of thing happens over and over in Rowling’s writing, where any quirkiness is there to be laughed at and the misfortunes of characters we’re not supposed to like are supposed to be funny, and it sends a message of conformity under threat of ridicule. In Pratchett’s writing, the clown man’s story is treated as a great tragedy: imagine growing up not knowing why you are the way you are, and then finding out the truth as a teenager! And knowing that your own mother kept the truth from you! This man was so deeply traumatized by this he denied himself any humor or fun for decades, and when he has a crisis and runs off to become a clown again, he is given support and medical treatment and is welcomed back to his job at the bank and accepted for who he is. The fact that this whole situation is hilarious is secondary. And again, this sort of thing happens over and over again in Pratchett’s writing, where characters’ quirkiness is embraced and often seen as irreplaceable by the end of the book, and it sends a message that our quirks are valuable and weirdness should be acceptable. It just strikes me as a much… kinder approach to people, you know?

[mycartoonmonster]

With the context of the Book of Bill and the characterisation of Bill, I ended up finding that all the members of the Zodiac have a thing or two in common with Bill Cipher.

Six fingered hand-Stanford Pines

-Both have a genetic mutation which they got ostracized for but made them interested in the worlds beyond.

- Both are egocentric and smart.

-Both have a thirst for revenge to prove the people around them they were wrong about them.

-Both didn't mean to endanger their dimension (Ford wanted knowledge and Bill wanted to show them the stars)

-Animals aren't safe around them (Ford set a bird on fire by mistaking it as a Phoenix and Bill ripped out a deer's teeth in his debut and in the storyboards of Weirdmageddon P1 he uses a deer to forcibly kiss Ford's statue as if they were his Barbie and Ken)

-Both have a weird sense of humor

-Both are considered criminals in the multiverse (Theft in Ford's case and Manslaughther, Murder alongside other stuff like mass property destruction in Bill's case)

-Both project onto others they see as similar to themselves (Bill with Ford-and on a minor scale Pacifica-and Ford with Dipper)

-Both ended up getting tricked by a conman (Ford by Bill and Bill by Stanley)

-Both are authors! (The Journals and the Book Of Bill, which are essentially diaries that talked about what their lives were, a bit about themselves and the creatures they found through their life)

Crescent symbol/Fish-Stanley Pines

-Both are scammers

-Both share mannerisms, one of them being referring to Ford as Sixer(which led to people theorizing Stan was Bill's reincarnation)

-Bad relationship with their parents but seem closer with their mom (Bill's parents tried to make him blind to the 3rd dimension but it seems Bill genuinely loved his mama Scalene while Fildbrick didn't value Stan as much as Ford and Caryn was the only one worried about Stanley and was one of the 2 persons that assisted his fake funeral)

-Both were seen as a bad kid growing up (Bill by the people on his dimension due to his mutation and the habilities this granted him while Stan was seen as lesser than Ford due to the latter's gigantic IQ and his rebellious nature)

-Both made one mistake that heavily affected the course of their lives and can never return home because of it (Stan ruining Ford´s project and Bill setting his home ablaze)

-Both didn't mean to push Ford away from them nor put their families in any danger initially(Bill wanted Ford to continue with the portal and got sad after their fallout and Stan did what he did in a moment where he wasnt thinking rationally and it cost him 30 years of loneliness and guilt)

-Both went to jail on different occassions (Stan on Colombia and Bill after going on a rampage in the bar while drunk after the fallout with Ford and the Theraprism if you wanna add it)

-Both tend show only 1 eye to people as well as a cane (Bill only has 1-although he can shapeshift and have multiples as seen in his demon form- and he uses the cane mostly in Dreamscappers, a bit in Sock Opera and in the intro for Weirdmageddon while Stan uses a patch and an 8 ball cane for tourists during his mystery man persona)

-Both used their art to influence people (Stan with the Mystery Shack's attractions and Bill using animation and figurines which failed, unlike Stan's works, unless you count the Lil' Stanley comic)

-Both have used a red demon costume once (Bill in the book and Stan in a picture in Gideon Rises)

-Both wanted to set the journals on fire (with Bill actually doing it in Weirdmageddon Part 1)

-They find Dipper's disstress/fear and annoyance hilarious (Stan teasing him vs Bill terrorizing him)

Glasses-Fiddleford McGucket

-Both end up going insane after a traumatic event (The destruction of his home dimension in Bill's case and McGucket taking a peek into Bill eating his own exoskeleton after crossing the portal)

-The times they helped/aided people it ended bad for them (In McGucket's case, Dipper with his new voice and the Gideon Bot that ended up getting destroyed in the scuffle with Dipper and in Bill's case; Dipper became Bill's puppet and Gideon didn't get the Shack's signature hence he had to use dynamite as a plan B and Weirdmaggedon only lasted 4-5 days for the Henchmaniacs while in McGuckets case's Shacktron didn't survive against Bill as they didn't consider protecting the arms and legs the same way that the Shack was protected)

-Both played a part in the creation of secret societies (Fiddleford by creating The Societyvof the Blind Eye and Bill by the Ciphertologists and inderectly creating the Anti-Bill Cipher society by terrorizing 4 persons)

-Underneath all that insanity and very deep in that broken mind, there is one very smart broken guy.

-Both lost their families (At least Fiddleford could reconciliate with some of it but Bill doesn´t have the same chance anymore)

Bag of ice-Wendy Courdory

-Both are rebellious and dislike authority figures.

-They like to do what they want with no regard for rules

-Both abused their power on more than one occasion (Wendy by stealing snacks and throwing water balloons at the elderly when working at the pool and Bill throughout his deals and in Weirdmageddon)

-They've had guts to face powerfull creatures (Bill the Time Baby and Wendy stuff like the ShapeShifter, the Unicorns or the Eye Bats in Weirdmageddon)

-Both lost a mom when they were young.

Questioning Mark-Soos Ramírez

-Both are smarter than what they look like upon first sight.

-Both lack a dad (Bill's died while Soos's left him)

-They have a funny side to them (Bill more leaning to sadism though)

-Both had their eyes damaged by Mabel (Soos by getting attacked with glitter in Stan Is Not What He Seems and Bill by getting sprayed with graffiti paint in Weirdmageddon Part 3)

Stiched heart-Robbie Valentino

-Both had their relationships ruined by their own arrogance, negligence and dishonesty (Bill being an abusive partner while Robbie was immature).

-They did not take the fallout with their partner well (at least Robbie would never dare to do anything similar to what Bill did)

-They tried to pursue their partner after the break up but to no avail (Bill with threaths and later on with offers of power and Robbie by using music as seen in Gideon Rises and both actually using messanges-Bill wasting Ford's Post-it notes and Robbie sad emails and texts to Wendy)

-Both are good with music (Bill can play the piano and xylophone as seen in his apology video and Robbie can play the guitar and both can sing)

-Both insulted Soos or referred to him in condescending ways (Robbie called him Big Dude and Bill adressed him as "the fat one")

-Both had beef with a 12 year old and wanted to harm them (Robbie wanted to fist fight a child aka Dipper and Bill planned to commit suicide in Dipper's body, turn the mystery twins into corpses, disassamble their molecules and almost kills Mabel in the series finale)

'Both got turned to stone at one point in Weirdmageddon (Robbie when it started and Bill at the end of it)

One eyed Pentagram-Gideon Gleeful

-Having too much power that they acquired at a young age which heavily affected them and began their rise to villainy

-Both have a hatred towards Stanley Pines for meddling with their plans to obtain absolute power and ultimatetly ruining their plans which ended with them in prison.

-Both burnt a picture of the object of their affections; destroying the section with the rest of their family and leaving their faces untouched.

-Both planned to use Mabel and Dipper to get one of the original mystery twins to give them what they wanted

-Both left the Pines Twin they were interested on imprisoned during Weirdmageddon.

-Both deep down craved adoration and attention.

-Both lead a gang of criminals but dont treat them with a much respect as the one Pines Twin they are pining on while hating the other twins for thinking they turned them away from them when in reality it was their actions that did.

-Both got punched in the face by a Pines Twin in a season Finale inside someone´s head (Gideon Bot's and Stanley's)

-Both seem to care about their appearance (Gideon worrying about his hair the most and Bill about his bowtie, given the scream he lets out when Dipper blasts him and him readjusting it a couple of times during Weirdmageddon)

-Both ended up in prison after acquiring a position of absolute power where they do art therapy

-Both are snappy dressers and use their charm to trick people

Llama-Pacifica Northwest

-Both had messy childhoods that turned them into who they are now.

-Both are pretty good liars and can trick people very easily (Bill with his deals and Pacifica in the Lost Legends comic)

-Both look down on people they see as inferior to them(Bill with humans and Pacifica with the working class, hillbillies and the Pines before the events of The mystery of the Northwest mansion and Weirdmageddon)

-Both see themselves as monsters that cause havoc no matter where they go or what they do (Pacifica in dreams and Bill due to what he did in his home)

-Both were forced by their parents to act in a certain way (Bill´s at least loved him and were good intentioned)

-Both are fighters (Pacifica by defying her parents wishes, facing against the ghost and the face stealer in Lost Legends and refusing Bill's deal in her dream and Bill could stand a fight with Shacktron which he ended up defeating and in his book its implied he can fight easily against demons or ghosts)

-Both have wore a crown (Pacifica in her debut episode and Bill in his portrait in the Penthouse suite of the Fearamid)

Shooting Star-Mabel Pines

-Both are agents of Chaos (Mabel being Chaotic Good/Neutral and Bill Chaotic Evil).

-Both enjoy partying and to have fun.

-Both have a wild imagination and a sense of style.

-Both like karaoke and have had a karaoke night with one of the original mystery twins

-Both have eaten stuff normal people shouldn't eat/gross things(Bill his exoskeleton and illegal punch and Mabel getting wasted with Smile Dip, a leaf, huge amounts of sugar that would end with her sick, Mabel juice and she once got hospitalized by eating sniff and scratch stickers)

-Both like makeovers (as seen in a part of the book of Bill where he talks about hiding the blood of his past)

-Both think highly of themselves (Bill's bottomless ego vs Mabel being secure about her talents, qualities and appearance)

-Both have social skills that made others attracted to them, mostly loners or freaks (Bill with his Henchmaniacs for their shared love of chaos and Ford with his smarts and cosmical knowledge and Mabel with Candy and Greta by being weirdos and not being as popular as Pacifica and her posse)

-Both adress Ford as "Fordsy"

-Both have rolled in the grass in Gravity Falls(Bill while possesing Ford during puppet hour and Mabel in Tourist Trapped)

-Both put their wants over other people's and/or their needs (Like in Sock Opera but even if Mabel is sometimes selfish at least apologizes and learns from her mistakes while Bill doesn't care who he hurts and would never apologize)

-Both use white out to exclude certain stuff they dont like from reading material to "fix it" or crayons/markers to cross them (Mabel with the dialog in the Comix Up story in Lost Legends or certain things such as her summer romances and in the Mabel´s guide to color with the picture and Bill with a section where part of The Great Gatsby is shown on his book where he mentions assigned reading or stuff like his exes and his former friend The Oracle/Seven eyes)

-Both became gods of destruction, first time by accident and the second with full intention(Mabel by accident with the rift and ending with MabelLand and Bill with the accidental destruction of his home and with Weirdmageddon)

-You could argue they're awfull when it comes to romance (Mabel's attempts always end in failure and Bill fumbled Ford so so hard)

Pine Tree-Dipper Mason Pines

-Both are good at decoding codes and solving mysteries and have good academic skills.

-Both didn't have many friends growing up and were picked on as kids (Bill for his mutation and Dipper for his birthmark)

-The times they wanted to prove themselves to others ended badly for them (Dipper caused a zombie apocalypse and Bill destroyed his dimension by accident)

-The names they use aren't their real names (Bill confirmed in an AMA years ago that Bill Cipher is just a name he picked so humans could converse with him without going bonkers upon first contact and Dipper's name is actually Mason but everyone refers to him as Dipper due to his birthmark)

-Has cloned himself (Bill's are a natural hability for him while Dipper made copies of himself via paper-rest in piece Tyrone)

-Both were adorable as babies.

-Both got obsessed with someone to the point of messing with their personal lifes (Dipper with Wendy during her relationship with Robbie and Bill with Ford and his relationship with McGucket)

-They changed hats at different points in their life; Dipper in Tourist Trapped changes from his green hat with a five point star to the classic blue pine tree while Bill sported a multicolor hat as a kid before changing into a tophat (if we take the theory that Bill's hat was originally his father's then both Dipper's and Bill's were owned by a family member before being passed on to them, Dipper's belonging to Stan)

I know this is probably just a coincidence (save the stuff with Ford as some were meant to highlight the bond these two had and establish parallels between the two, making them doomed soulmates and adding another layer of sadness over the toxic yaoi) but a fun one still.

Thanks for reading!

[lets-go-hurt-someone]

I call myself an Astarion simp and make fun of myself for loving the dumb sexy pixel man but to be honest, I’m like 30 years old and I just never expected to see my experiences not only reflected in media, but handled so delicately and compassionately.

I spent a lot of time “healing” from my past through hypersexuality. I knew it was hypersexuality. I used to tell myself, “What happened can’t be sad or important if you do it a hundred more times.” Like somehow if it was my choice x many times then the time it wasn’t can’t possibly matter anymore. Logical, right? It’s just statistics.

And then the journey of fucking your way to a semblance of mental safety just becomes a joke. It’s edgy and funny. I was doing exactly what Astarion does — if I fuck them, they might like me. And if fucking them is easier than not, I might as well, because I’ve done it so many times before anyway. I’m so good at it I’ve fucked people using the lamest lines you can imagine — wanna hear? I promise it’s hilarious.

And he’s not a perfect sweet victim or a funny edgy free love sex pest. It’s not played as a damsel in distress or a punchline. He’s just hurting and learning and when he realises the hypersexuality isn’t serving him… you can tell him it’s okay and you still like him for who he is.

I don’t know if I can really articulate what it means to me to see a background like Astarion’s being portrayed honestly and not as a sexy funny trauma thing or just straight up tragedy porn.

It genuinely made me feel like maybe I’m not alone, and think maybe other people out there also might just… understand. Not pity me, or laugh when I tell them to, but just… get it.

I’m still kind of processing it to be honest. Maybe that’s why I’ve played this stupid game like 5 times in two months.

[dontlookatmytmntcollection]

hey so how do you think the bay boys would deal with having a s/o who sometimes randomly cups their cheeks and gives them forehead kisses and then a kiss on the mouth while saying they love them or call them handsome and then they proceed to leave unless their boyfriend yanks them into a hold so they stay put? Happens once a day as long as s/o is not feeling negative vibes?

Affectionate S/Os are treasures to be protected, and I agrue every single Bayverse guy NEEDS an affectionate S/O like this.

But everyone has a different personality, right? I think Raph and Donnie need physical affection like this the most, but Mikey and Leo would be the ones most likely to initiate this kind of thing to you. But anyway-

This is how THEY react.

Enjoy!

Random Kisses X Bayverse Turtles

Mikey

-Loves that you do this shit often enough that he can pretend he's the shit.

-Thinks it's funny when your kissing and babying him and he can preen.

-Looking around the room like he's a big, strong man that owns world while you are making "kiskiskiskiskis" noises to his cheeks.

-Also loves to play victim.

-Is the boyfriend that, if asked, "Do you need kisses?" Mikey'll curl up under you and nod pathetically- even if he had an awesome day.

-"You okay, baby?" You ask.

-"Mmm." He makes a dismissive noise into your chest.

-"You need kisses, baby?" You ask.

-"Mmhm." He moans sadly.

-You press hundreds of those tiny, rabid fire kisses to the scales of his scalp.

-Then when you stop your met with another sad, pathetic groan.

-Mikey is also the boyfriend most likely to give you the same disgusting treatment. -Always looking for an opportunity for ambush kisses.

-Be careful

Leo

-He doesn't like it if he's already overwhelmed or preoccupied

-It can overstimulate him

-But he NEEDS that connection. He needs affection.

-if things are calm, if all the chores are done and it's time to decompress and relax (something he's learning how to do)

-and he's sitting down or curled up with you-

-he compelelty melts. Literally. Physically into you.

-he usually tries to hide his smile or stop himself from laughing.

-"Stopp, this isn't-" "staap"

-Its so fucking adorable. He's fun cuz he can be that fucking awesome, badass, highly specialized and experienced superhero- then also be a needy cuddle bug that practically begs for attention and needs to be held all the time.

-he also the second most likely brother to give the same treatment.

-Loves to surpise you with kisses and hugs.

Raph

-He's had a very difficult time reciprocating this level of cuteness to you without prompt, its something he's working on

-However

-In front of people, he's all like, "Ew. No. Stop. Get off me. This is dumb. I'm a man."

-Then during cuddle times HES the one who crawls into your lap and kinda just...begs with his eyes.

-Also he's hilarious because he sucks, SUCKS at pretending he doesn't actually freakn love it.

-It's hard for him to NOT smile around you when he wants to. So if your ambushing him infront of others or by himseld he's like, trying to push you away while saying, "S-stop, no." But his smile is super wide and he can't look at you in the eyes

-It's disgusting 😭

-Its also extremely meaningful to him, when you do this. Gets him feeling attractive and adored- he won't admit it but it's kinda hard for him to hide that he's flattered too.

-If he's been having a hard, overwhelming season and you pull that while alone with him, it's a struggle not to pull you closer and cry.

Donnie

-Unlike Leo, this is the best way to distract Donnie.

-If he's feeling overwhelmed by work or tasks- calling his name then grabbing his cheeks and kissing him all over will turn his internal world into a very quiet, loving place instantly.

-Hes usually pretty confident, and it's easy for him to talk, but if you do this he'll get all shy and embarrassed

-His smile is super wide and he pulls his head back on his neck while trying to lean away or avoid looking at you

-It's SO fucking cute

-The hardest part about this is if he's not sitting down-

-This shit is extremely difficult

-I don't care how tall you are. Donnie is taller and it's DIFFICULT to ambush him with face or head kisses.

-You just know 90% of your relationship with from his perspective is you looking up at him doing grabby fingers

-Good luck with that

[caraphernellie]

MY LOVE, MINE ALL MINE.

tiny, silly, cute blurb today because i'm thinking fluffy!!! and fluffy in particular = cats! i love cats and ik i'm always talking about cats so… in the need to quell my desperation right now, i'm going to write about it instead. because i keep looking at cat rescue pages and crying about all those precious babies.

now it's a little hard to picture ellie having a dog because, erm… but moving away from that– i think she's one of those people who prefers dogs simply because they're playful and have such wholesome faces. who wouldn't falter over a puppy's virtuous little smile, falling over feet to give them some head pats? but imagine her reaction when you tell her you want to rescue a cat. imagine the vulgarity in her response every time you'd show her pictures upon pictures of sad babies with no homes – just a snap back to reality. "yeah, babe, s'cute, but probably got ringworm or some shit."

 and yeah, sure, all of your arguments are sound, your list of pros outway the cons, but cats are so lame. lame is what she said.

and lame is what she is, because the furry creature does win her heart fairly quickly. almost as soon as you showed her the picture of this poor unnamed cat without a family, desperate tears in your eyes just waiting to shed at her denial, she folded.

on one condition.

"if we get the cat, i wanna name him."

so much for 'not wanting a cat', it was obvious from the start that your new baby had dug his way into ellie and tugged at the heartstrings. so that was how rover became yours– never trust your girl not to name something unrelated to her interests – but rover was a cute and fitting name overall, if only a tad nerdy due to her ongoing obsession with space and the long lost dream of being an astronaut. 

but there seems to be such a common phenomenon when it comes to cats. they know exactly who doesn't like them, and they make it their mission to insert themselves every which way like stubborn bastards. rover is a smart little man, and he was aware quickly of how awkward ellie got when he'd sit on you or knead on you. it progressed into him treading into the bedroom at five o'clock sharp every morning to wake his mothers up, pushing his way between you and ellie to enjoy the warmth of your cuddles.

from that point, he started getting bolder, jumping onto ellie's lap when she was always busy. he'd nuzzle up against the controller while she's gaming and she'd scoff quietly, clumsily moving to see the screen over his body. then his tail would swipe her across the nose and she'd groan, "you're a little dick."

even then– the words are coated in affection, softly spoken and accompanied by her pausing of the game to rub her hand over his sandy coloured fur.

there's also many, many times in which he appealed to her in humour. it can be utterly amusing at the least and hilarious at most when a feline is taken over by the zoomies. watching the usually collected and calm cat sprint at top speeds and leap dangerously across the room never failed in its manner to bring ellie to laughter.

so yeah, there's a growing attachment to rover bubbling under ellie's surface, and she's never really sure what to do about it. admit that she was wrong about hating cats? she admits so with her every action, making a stop at the store on her way home from work to bring a new cat toy or bag of treats she's desperate to give him. maybe it's in the way she lets him settle on her lap and feels a rush of warmth and love. maybe it's that her lock screen is now a picture of you carrying the cat over your shoulder like a newborn.

photomode creds to @/seraqhite on pinterest!!

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

the sandman but i've never read or watched it

Hello this is the Good Omens Mascot and I am currently being kidnapped again. Into the Sandman fandom. Forcibly. Brutally. By several people. There will be bloodshed. There will be livestreams, probably, when I watch the show. My struggle is Endless and I can only Dream of an escape (I'm hilarious). But before I watch it, I'm legally obligated to make this post. Soooo... here goes, based on like two edits on YT I watched:

@neil-gaiman created it. Of this at least I am sure.

There is Dream/Morpheus, and he is a sad wet cat of a man.

He has a sister Delirium, and apparently I remind everyone of her. This concerns me. Also, she used to be Delight.

I am not sure what these people are but they are Endless.

I'll tell you what's Endless, it's my gayness, because MY GOD, Dream is beautiful.

The sad wet cat of a man has a friend (/homoerotic) named Hob.

Hob is also a sad wet cat of a man.

Dream has a raven. The raven dies.

Someone is blamed. But Dream says it's his own fault.

Dream's family thinks he's deserted them. Dream also thinks this is his own fault.

I'm started to think Dream maybe has some repressed trauma.

Despair and Desire look gay for each other. Or they're siblings. Idk. Despair was in Dead Boy Detectives. That I do know, because FUCK YEAH DBDA.

Death exists, and she's kind. I think. She was also in DBDA.

It's gay. This I am assured of.

What's gay? Who's gay? I don't fucking know. But it's gay.

Did I mention I'm gay? Because god I'm now a sucker for yet another sad pathetic wet cat of a twink.

There's someone with glasses who tells Dream stuff. idk who they are but they seem important. So uh. They exist.

Dream cares a lot. But he Hides It Behind A Facade.

Did I mention he's fucking pretty?

...Please don't kill me Sandman fandom I was kidnapped here I swear I'm innocent.