#many things to do! but i'm excited for the final vid!

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Hey guys, your favorite E-girl here, Melody, here with some downer news..... or good news for the haters. My mom and dad found my OnlyFans. Gee, I wonder who told them about it? Anyway.... they said nothing until our annual family reunion, where they proceeded to bring up my vids on the Roku in the living room. My tits bouncing, spraying milk, me getting gangbanged in public, all of my pregnancy vids--I always had to hide that I was pregnant and only be one or two months along like I am now for the reunion. So they showed me getting mercilessly fucked while pregnant with quintuplets, my huge tits bouncing and slapping together, hitting me in the face.

My family scolded me and asked many babies I've had. I told the truth, I've had seventeen kids. Triplets as soon as I got to college, which inspired me to start my OF, quadruplets, then two sets of quintuplets. They asked me where their grandchildren were and I said I was a surrogate, that other couples raised the kids. They were livid, showing the family more videos. Vids of me doing anal and taking three cocks in my ass at once, vids of me puking on huge cocks all over my tits and belly, me hooking for video content and offering my body at a super low cost, vids of my pregnant belly and tits getting whipped and paddled and beaten, vids of me straight up getting beaten up by men for content, left bloody and bruised in the street, vids of me excitedly showing my blood results that I'm positive for all these different STDs. Guys, I had to not only explain to my whole family what a bug chaser is, but that I'm one, and get turned on by all the STDs I have.

I've never been so humiliated in my life, all the messed up degrading porn I've done was nothing. And I have a huge humiliation fetish, so almost on cue I got incredibly horny. As they insulted me, calling me everything from mentally ill to a whore, I started playing with my breasts with one hand and rubbing my sex with the other. In front of everyone. This was the last straw. They strapped me to my bed and brought in the family doctor, who had some very harsh recommendations for how to treat my clinical nymphomania. I don't know when I'll be doing content next but I'll try the best I can. Until then you will get a few exciting, ummm...... surgery videos, if you're into that. And I know a lot of you sickos are. What's better than seeing the girl of your dreams who you've jacked off to a thousand times get humiliated and mutilated, am I right? Men are so gross.....

So, I'm about to drive to the Brookdale Asylum for Girls. My prescribed treatment is..... hoo boy, for my breasts to be removed as well as my clit, and shortly after I'm stable from that, my arms and legs will be amputated so I can't go out and fuck or film videos. These surgeries and the aftermath recovery will be uploaded as the final content for my OnlyFans. Yes, I'll be numbed and kept awake, watching as the team of surgeons operate on me. So I'm about to be helpless, breastless, no clit to rub or play with, unable to masturbate or do anything, my family taking care of me. I'm still pregnant with who knows how many kids. It'll be absolute torture having a giant belly and not being able to fuck! But my brain might be jelly anyway because I think they give girls electroshock for nymphomania here.... Kind of excited for that, not gonna lie. Having my brains scrambled is sorta hot.

Don't worry, I'll find a way to keep making more content. I'll get that ocular software and do everything with my eyes, then I'll just need to go on dating sites, request a bunch of one-night stands and have my front door open, watch all these horny, fucked up dudes line up at my door to fuck a helpless, limbless girl with no tits. My family thinks this'll destroy my OF career but honestly it might be the best thing that will ever happened to me, career-wise. People are going to be flocking to my page to see the nympho asylum girl who had her body mutilated to stop her from being a total sex freak turn around and keep going, being filthier than ever! I'll be on the front page of OnlyFans for even longer than when I did that vid of me ten months pregnant with quints getting beat up naked in an alleyway, only for actual homeless men to start forcing themselves and my bruised, bloodied body. I guess I should thank them.... With any luck my parents will start a trend and more OG girls like me will wind up as limbless sex dolls. I bet you all would love that...."

[yandere-daydreams]

Totally get what you mean with obey me!!! Look I've played older swd games, and I'd been looking forward to obey me release since early 2018 (when there was only a short intro vid). I even played the og beta! And I have been playing the game EVERY SINGLE DAY since its release (which was over 4 years DAILY) and when nightbringer was out I was like, fuck. Neither brought me much excitement and I have stopped reading events for almost 2 years. Now I just logged in to send AP to my friends and quitted. The only thing I'm gonna read is the main story probably.

(Tbh twst is superior is so many ways but I'd argue the gacha system in om is a little better and this is coming from someone with more than 200 UR/UR+ in om despite being completely f2p)

wait am i the only one who played for two solid years and had like,,, three URs total. it was my first gacha game tho so it might've just been a me issue. still requesting peer review though.

on topic though!!! i remember playing a few of shall we date's game pre-obey me and,,, like,,, there were definitely issues with very prolonged story lines and adding on character later one, but at least there were like,,, finished games,,, with routes you could play,,, and look forward to Not playing eventually. i really did like obey me, but there's just,,, too much of it. a good thing can only go on for so long until you're, like, just dangling around its corpse and occasionally dressing that corpse up in a fun outfit for special occasions. i might come back if it ever looks like they're going to, y'know, do an actual final arc with an Ending, but i do not think that's ever going to happen and i feel like it's pretty easy to see why.

[ghostofskywalker]

3k event req (congrats!!! I love ur writingggg) - I love how you write Wolffe so could you do something w gn, non-jedi reader and him? Maybe they're out and about on a planet and Wolffe has to trust readers' expertise on something (maybe they're a naturalist? Or can speak a language?) when he's used to being in command, or maybe he gets to protect reader from something!! Idk!!! I'm just a sucker for that grump!!!!

aww thank you so much!! i had fun with your prompt and i hope you enjoy this :)

words: 1,345

@clonexreaderbingo square: "do you trust me?"

summary: sometimes the best solutions come from the minds of those who aren't soldiers, and wolffe has to get used to trusting others that are not his general or his vode.

clone troopers masterlist || join my 3k celebration!!

A Show of Trust

“How much more of this do you have to collect before we can get out of here?” The slightly-grumpy tone of the clone commander broke the silence you had been operating under for quite some time. 

You looked at the forest floor around you and scrolled through the files on your datapad, each containing holopics and short vids of the various plants and small animals that you had seen and documented. You felt a little bit bad for him, as this assignment was certainly less exciting than fighting Separatists on the front lines of the war, but for you the help (and the protection) was invaluable. 

It was easy to see why you were assigned an escort, because the things you were studying were of great use to medics and healers in the Jedi Temple, and they wanted to make sure that you had the best possible resources to complete your research. The Commander just happened to be part of the battalion on leave when the voyage was planned, and he was roped into helping because his general was on the Jedi Council. 

“I just have a few more plants to look at today and then we can return to camp,” you responded. “And then tomorrow we should be able to return to Coruscant.” 

Wolffe nodded but didn’t say anything else, and you didn’t expect him to. At this point you were well aware of the fact that he wasn’t a particularly talkative companion, and that was fine. You didn’t think any less of him just because he didn’t ask how you felt about the weather or what your favorite drink at the bar was. 

The sun on this planet was just beginning to set, and you finally had everything that you needed to bring back to the Jedi. But right before you and Wolffe could start walking back in the direction of where you had set up camp, a low growl rumbled through the woods. 

“What was that?” Immediately, Wolffe sprang to action. He drew a pistol from his belt and looked around, stepping in front of you. 

You were in the midst of telling him you weren’t sure when the growl sounded again, and this time you recognized the cadence and tone, based off what you knew about this planet. But you didn’t have time to answer Wolffe before something had burst from the trees, staring intensely at the two of you. 

It went by many names, this creature, and several more in languages you didn’t speak, but you knew enough about it to know that Wolffe was going to make the situation worse if he didn’t put his weapon away. 

Right as his blaster was raised, you tapped his armor. “Stop,” you said softly, so that the creature wasn’t startled. “Your blasts won’t penetrate the skin, and I do not wish to anger it.” 

He reached down to his belt, but you placed your hand over his to stop him. “Nothing you have will harm that creature,” you said, starting to get a little more annoyed. You only had a small window of time to make your escape before the imposing animal in front of you decided that it wanted to eat you for dinner, and you needed to come up with a plan. 

“Well, what do you suggest we do?” 

“I have an idea, but it would require you to trust me,” you said slowly. You weren’t sure how that was going to go over with him, especially because you hadn’t spent all that much time together and he didn’t seem like the type to put his genuine trust in just anyone. “Do you trust me?” 

The affirmative answer, although eventually escaping the mouth of the commander, was not one of resounding confidence. But it was good enough for now, and you started to calculate an escape route. “According to the maps I studied, there’s a tunnel hidden in the brush just up ahead,” you said. “We’re going to have to make a run for it, but the creature is too big to follow us.” 

“That’s your plan?” he asked. “Just run?” 

“Well, seeing as we don’t have any bait to distract it, that’s the best chance we have right now.” This version of you was much more direct than usual, a shift from the passive naturalist to the person in charge, because all his blaster bolts would have done was sealed your fate as the evening special. 

Wolffe paused. “When do we go?” he asked. Clearly he had sized up his options and decided to attempt whatever you had planned rather than end up in that thing’s stomach. 

You watched the amber-yellow eyes of the dragon-like animal closely, taking note of every shift. For a few moments, it was like time wasn’t moving at all, that you were stuck in a fearful standoff with something much bigger and stronger than you. Fear started to bubble in your stomach, and you did your best not to let it show. 

The creature’s eyes shifted right. 

You grabbed Wolffe’s hand, not even stopping to think about how natural it felt to hold it like this. 

The creature’s eyes shifted left. 

You looked over at him, noticing that his helmet was tilted in such a way that you assumed he was looking back at you. You nodded, mouthing a countdown, and he understood. 

Three. The creature’s eyes shifted right.

You really hoped this was going to work. 

Two. The creature’s eyes shifted left. 

Wolffe doesn’t deserve to die right now. 

One! 

Go! 

On your silent communication, the two of you turned tail and ran, as fast as you could through the thick brush. You didn’t even think about the fact that some of the plants had sharp thorns, because no matter how many barbs you would have to pull out of your skin and clothes later, that didn’t matter right now. 

“I hope you know where we’re going!” Wolffe’s voice, even in this all out sprint, was as imposing as ever. 

You didn’t know if you had the power in your lungs to respond, but that didn’t matter now, because the creature let out a screech so deafening you thought you went deaf for a moment. 

You nodded, feeling the fatigue starting to build up, and you were thankful when you spotted a downed tree just up ahead, the beginning of the end of the forest. 

If your staredown with the creature felt like time had stopped, now it felt like time was wrong. The next thing you knew, you were falling through the entrance of the tunnel, datapad tumbling out of your hands and finally coming to rest on the dry dirt a few paces ahead. 

You got up and turned around; thankfully Wolffe was right behind you. You could hear the thundering footsteps of the creature above you, and it seemed that it had run off, (hopefully) thinking you were still somewhere in the forest and not in the tunnel below. 

Once the adrenaline wore off, you took heaving breaths and tried your best to keep up with Wolffe, who didn’t seem too phased by the show of athleticism he just displayed. When you finally made it back to the ship, the first thing you looked for was a canteen of water. Originally the plan was to camp in the open air, but it didn’t take much convincing before you had gotten Wolffe to drag the GAR-issued bedding into the transport ship he had been allowed to keep (the privileges of having a high ranking general, you supposed).

When you held out your half-drained canteen to him, you didn’t expect him to take it. But he did, lifting his helmet off to raise the container to his lips. Two days ago, hadn’t yet taken his helmet off right in front of you, and he would have never accepted your offer to share a drink, but you supposed escaping death together warranted a certain amount of comfort with each other. 

And after all this, you were just grateful that he trusted you when it really mattered.

- the end -

[earl-grey-love]

I have a pretty big life update / general personal talk below the cut. Not a vent but I do talk about my marriage + complain a bit (abt life, not abt my husband!)

Tl;dr is I'll be abroad and busy for a while.

So my husband bought an apartment. That is to say, with a mortgage. It was finalized early this month. Remember I said I had to talk to lawyers? Yeah it was about that 🥰 I'm flying to Canada this week to help make the house a home. I'm already at decision fatigue from buying stuff with him online or through vid chats. It's been so stressful but omg will it be worth it!! We'll finally have achieved a dream 8 1/2 years in the making. Hopefully by the summer I will officially live with him! 💕💕

It happened a bit faster than we expected but one day we randomly looked at listings and it was literally the first apartment we saw. It was like it was fate. My husband worked extremely hard for this. I can't take any credit. It's all on his own drive and I'm eternally grateful. I'm so proud of him for everything he's achieved.

When I go through the borders this time my immigration should be finalized and I'll officially be a permanent resident. How fun! I'll be going to college in September too 🤞 My year is basically all planned out. At some point we'll be adopting a kitten too. It's going go be the most spoilt little thing! 😍 I'm just so excited to start my independent adult life with my best friend and love of my life. We'll get to really be a family 🫶

I don't want to downplay how hard the two of us worked for this. When we met we were two severely depressed high school dropouts with no thoughts of the future. We didn't even want to date anybody. But despite all the odds, we made it. We played to each others strengths, weathered many storms, and came out on top. I only hope our future continues to be bright ❤️

I'm still struggling with grief but having something to focus on and look forward to gives me a lot of peace.

[shychick-52]

Let's go with 1, 2, 23, and 30 for Fenton!

My first impression of them

I thought Fenton was absolutely adorable! This clumsy, overly-excited, ambitious, cinnamon roll of a nerd who's genuinely passionate about science and desperately wants approval by his mentor (a mentor who appeared to have very little patience and respect for him) who he looks up to. Not only do you get all that from his very first episode ('Beware the B.U.D.D.Y. System'), but his very first scene where he loudly interrupts Gyro's sensitive experiment in his enthusiasm to show off his efficiency, causing Gyro's prototype to go haywire, crash into the glass separating the underwater lab from the bay, and nearly cause a flood (and Gyro's blueprints getting soaked). Poor Fenton was so adorably shamefaced about his mistake, and you could tell by his tone and body language- and Gyro's angry reaction- it wasn't his first screw-up. And I was like 'D'awww!' when he responded to Gyro's "Intern, try to think!" with "That's all I ever do all the time." I knew he'd be a favorite of mine, and I looked forward to more of him (including his dynamic with Gyro).

The weird thing? I didn't even know who Lin-Manuel Miranda was until sometime in season 3!! I was familiar with Hamilton when the show first debuted, but I knew nothing about it and hadn't listened to any of the songs. I just had never even heard of him or even knew what he worked on (including that he voiced Fenton, and was one of the most prominent pop-culture icons of the decade). I didn't find out about any of that until I kept seeing his name in YouTube comments on DuckTales videos I'd watch (often clips of Team Science and review/reaction vids), and I finally decided to look him up for myself.

When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

I was sold on him from his very first scene (see above answer), and especially by the end of that episode when he rose to the challenge of saving the day using Gyro's prototype armor (which would eventually become the Gizmoduck armor), proved his competence to himself (because he previously told LP he just wants to help people and make the world better, and he has so many amazing ideas to do so, but he felt like it was all for nothing because they're never taken seriously by Gyro or probably anyone else, and I loved how him saving the day with this complex suit of armor outfitted with all these cool gizmos was his big moment to shine), and earned some grudging respect by Gyro for how he both saved the day and managed to use the armor so well for the very first time.

Future headcanon

I like to think that ever since Gyro promoted him at the end of 'Astro B.O.Y.D.', Fenton wasn't nearly as clumsy and eager to prove himself. Their dynamic had finally changed; Gyro strongly implied to Fenton that he'd been wrong to treat him similar to the way Akita treated him during his own internships days- and outright admitted he was so very much like Fenton back then too- and that he was going to start treating him with the respect and support he deserved. I like to think that Fenton knew he no longer needed to try so hard to earn Gyro's respect, which I think was what caused a lot of his clumsiness before in his desperation to prove himself. Not only did he see Gyro with different eyes and understood why he was the way he always was, but this was the confidence boost- the validation- he needed from Gyro himself.

The funniest scene they had?

OMG, SO MANY. But I think I'm going to have to go with when he said "That's all I ever do all the time" when Gyro snapped at him to "try to think" in his first scene of the series. From the implications of how desperate he was to prove himself and how hard he tried, to the brilliance of the delivery of that line!

[millierollsaseven]

I would love to send you links! (Apologies for the length of this ask btw. I get excited about music).

So this is actually one of my favorite sets of their's on youtube because the sound quality isn't ass and the first vid has a shot from the side so you can see Joe's hands

https://youtu.be/9qIQzJGUS8M

https://youtu.be/Pi8LkerwcHI

Unforch, they didn't film the whole set so The Ringleader is absent. Which is a bummer cause there's a part of the song that Joe always plays by jumping onto, and then steping on, his keyboard (and then he would fall over)

If you wanna get into TVF, I would recomend listening the second half of their first album first (which sounds weird but like, it's a concept piece that flows together)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1x4ivXaXMYdjspC7II4Kgj?si=ht9V6VzgTCiRFTiw5tPogQ

Then here's the last song they ever released, it's not on Spotify and it's one of my faves

https://thevenetiafair.bandcamp.com/track/death-is-the-poor-mans-doctor

As for getting into AVE, I think it's worth giving their album listen through at least once. It's got some fun tracts. However, it's.... I mean Will, Mario, and Jon were 19, 18, and 17 respectively when it came out. It sounds very good considering, but they've all grown as musicians since then. (Also should be noted, none of them get money for any of the spotify streams or bandcamp sales)

hi oh my god i am so so sorry for taking forever to answer this. but i do have a fun little surprise for you!

yeah the venetia fair is one of my favourite bands ever now, and i have to attribute it to you. i probably would've listened to them eventually, but you gave me the push i needed to start. otherwise i would've ended up discovering them a year later, or even further on.

after i received this ask, i listened to ESDTWGIOB and got absolutely obsessed. i have never found an artist that speaks to me as truly has tvf does. i sat on that for a few months (very bad at getting into music).

a few weeks ago, i decided to finally listen to the circus, because with the way my tvf interest was headed, i could not put it off any longer. i put it on, got overwhelmed (as you do), and listened to the whole thing.

it's one of my favourite albums now. my favourite currently, for sure. i literally cannot go a day without listening to it.

so i have a loooooot to thank you for. thank you for the links, thank you for the recs, and thank you for helping me find one of my favourite bands!

oh fuck i gotta talk about death is the poor man's doctor HOLY SHITTTTTT you were right that song is INCREDIBLE. i am so pissed that it's not on spotify. it makes me wonder the direction tvf could've taken if they followed through with the genre that song promised. it's whatever!! im fine about it. what matters is that i love the song and it's so special to me.

also never apologise for the length of the ask! i know it took me so long to answer, but that's my personal brain block talking. i love music so much and i love when people talk about their passions.

one last thank you, and a plea for us to be friends; i don't have many (if any) friends into tvf and you seem like you know a lot and have been around for a while. mutuals? <3

thank you for everything!

p.s. maybe one day i'll get into AVE. i'm working my way up to it.

[just-some-random-blogger]

I've seen Motionless live many times, and I definitely love their vibe. They really put on a show. You would NOT be disappointed at all. I promise you. Heres some song recs if you're interested.

Motionless song recs:

"</c0de>", "Rats", "Eternally Yours" (watch the mv for this, you will not be disappointed), "Headache" , "Sign of Life" , and "Cause of Death". There's so many more, but those a great place to start. I love Chris Motionless. I have a funny story about one Warped Tour which was my first one with my sister and omfg. If you wanna hear it let me know. It's so funny to me now lmfao.

I love Amity but I know they're not for everyone. I know the lead singer, we talked a few times. 🤭But, listen to their song "I Bring The Weather With Me" and "Drag the Lake" . Those are two of my favorites of all time.

BESTIE I LOVE THOSE SHIRTS!!!!! OH MY GOD! I will never NOT be astounded by the shit people can make. I'm so not creative. My sister is a fucking Martha Stewart ass bitch who can make anything. It's so crazy to me the things people can create 😭😭😭 THE GUCCI ONE! YASSSSS GAGA!!!!!! ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

wait ARE YOU EXTROVERTED TOO?!!?! SHUT UP I am always so afraid that I'm "too much" too soon and i'm like GOD I HAVE DONE IT AGAIN. 😭😭😭😭😭 LIKE NOW, I'M LIKE OMFG THIS IS TOO MUCH SHUT UP BITCH. lmfaoooooooooo

dang you really pr-ed motionless in white to me AHAHA ok anyway have a love letter <3

: i like it lyrically, reminds me of in the end by black veil brides because of the melodic progression in the chorus, i like the feel alone part by 3:17 and the lets get this fire started by 3:27. i like the end part too.

Rats: the beginning synths sounds like something i'd do on my digital audio workstation where i make music lol. i like this more than the first one because there are more musical elements. i also like the ending of this one

Eternally Yours: from the intro i immediately i knew i was gonna like this one. the chorus is so emo HAHHAHHHAH love that for them AHHAAHAH. ok i forgot to watch the mv imm a watch it now. immediate thought their drummer is hot T_T RIP at this point i have no idea if i actually find drummers attractive if theyre attractive or if they're drummers (i have a thing for drummers) T_T 3:05 🧍‍♀️ is that the lead guy in the bun??? that must be why his bob is so thin thought he wa going bald T_T HAHA. so they just boutta get freaky in a casket. //: ok. if he doesnt want me in my casket then i dont want him. random addition: i pressed another vid after, angel eyes by new years day ITS COOL AND HOT TOO LOL

Headache: i like this one too because of the .... chromatic scale (it goes up half a note). wAIT I REALLY LIKE THIS. i like this the most i think

Sign of Life: this one is good. ngl the emo pronunciation T_T had i not seen the lyrics i would have sorely misunderstood

Cause of Death: interesting beginning. WE LOVE HALFTIME. i love all the parts that was got faster. also the cinematic part with the violin slay. i like the lyrics too!! i think i like this album too

I Bring The Weather With Me cHURCH BELLS AND RAIN WE LOVE FOLEY omg the intro is that an organ>??? slay i love the scream with the background vocals. i like THIS SONG TOO!!! i like the final ill sleep with the stars then silence. THEN TH ENDING WITH THE BELLLS SLAAAYY

Drag the Lake: i like this one too but in like a .... its a rock song kind of way AHHAHAHAHAH lsafhl'ashfasf i like the part were its soft with piano and atmosphere then it get heavier.

im glad you like my shirts!!!! im really excited to make the other ones. my mom likes them too, which is a great indication cos my mom has high standards and doesnt like a lot of things that i do because it's neophyte or basic. i was surprised that she really liked the gucci one and said she would pay for it cos she doesnt like adam driver 💀💀💀 the slander this man has gotten from my mother T_T she said she didnt like the font of the daemon one and i was like ok and? HAHAH LOL.

im not sure why you used martha stewart as an example, is it because martha's a cook and your sister cooks too, or that martha is an all around entrepreneur and so is your sis, but either way, slay for your sister.

i dont think im extraverted T_T im more of an extraverted introvert, or a learned/forced extrovert. i used to be really quiet but then i would be alone T_T and i dont like being alone, so i kind of forced myself to be more outgoing. also, idk, i think about my place in the world like... nothing really matters so i just do what i want LOL and i mention this because i talked to someone on the train just cuz. thats more on impulse than extraversion methinks.

xxx

[shadowonwater]

Pokemon SV playthrough part 3: from school to bug gym

In this I get spoiled for choice, try to take a picture of a Psyduck, see some new Pokemon, and also do my 1st picnic

So I'm in the school, Nemona was talking to a lady w/ crazy hair. Nemona said her name but I don't remember it. When I asked her who she was all she said was her name as if that told me anything about her. I bet she's a gym leader or something idk.

Then I see Arven (I remember his name now, woo!) And he acts all buddy buddy with me, which is kinda weird considering he wasn't the most friendly in our first meeting. But he tells me how much he loves cooking and that he's trying to get these Herba Mystica things and wants my help, so I say sure. I just gotta battle some big boi Pokemon.

He tells about Great Tusk, and I'm like "Yo that's sick" because it is. I love mysterious stuff. And considering the only visual reference for it is just a drawing and a blurry photo, I really want to know more! I can totally imagine Pokemon Youtube having some youtuber making a vid about it and the tumbnail would be the blurry photo with a big red circle around the Great Tusk.

All this makes me really excited to see what the hell is in the crater. All I know it that it's super dangerous and also that Sada is somewhere in there and that Koraidon is from there.

A bit off topic but a Pokemon Professor OC of mine (Prof. Silverleaf) would be going feral over this sort of thing. The man goes wild over mysteries. He'd probably try to sneak in, lol.

Anyway after Arven, someone hacks my phone. And is like "Hey, fight Team Star for me will ya?" And I'm like "No." because you hacked my phone, and that's rude.

Principal tells me not to take phone calls in the middle of the cafeteria, and I'm like "fair." Anyway I'm a little worried when he mutters "Team Star" under his breath and I get called to his office later. I'm like "Oh no, am I in trouble?" Like maybe he thought I was getting close to Team Star. But it was nothing like that.

Instead Sada shows up and she's like "Hi, that Koraidon used to be mine, but you can have it, take care of it for me, will you?" And I'm like "Sure". Anyway Sada's theme is baller, and I love it. Although aren't I breaking some rule by having 7 Pokemon with me at once, even if I'm not using one to fight?

So Principal clearly knows something. He knows Sada. And is like "Did she actually do it?" And I'm like "Did she do what?" But of course he doesn't tell me. But he 100% knows something.

So Nemona shows me my room and I'm like "Sweet!" because it's not a bad size and I have it all to myself. Then my character goes to bed despite it being daytime. TIMESKIP! Days go by in a cool sky changing cut scene. How many? idk. I didn't count but maybe someone out there in the world has.

Anyway I think it's weird to hold the treasure hunt so early in the school year, it seems like something that should be saved for later. Like an end of school year celebration of sorts, idk. But then again, I guess finals happen around the end of the year, maybe that's enough excitement for the students.

So yeah Nemona's like "go do gym battles!" and Arven's like "fight the titans!" and the hacker's like "fight Team Star" and I'm like "Ladies, ladies, there's enough of me for all of you! You don't need to fight!" It's around this time I realize who the hacker must be.

I thought to myself, here's Arven, here's Nemona, where's Penny? I haven't seen her around. Then I'm like OH she's the hacker isn't she? I mean it makes sense. Team Star did harass her and I was the one who helped her. No wonder she thought of me when she decided to take them down.

So I decide to go after the Bug Gym first at Nemona's suggestion. I quickly get distracted exploring again.

I try to take a photo of a Psyduck swimming in the river, looking like it's a little too close to the waterfall. And I'm like "which is the take-a-picture button?" and by the time I realize it's just the normal screen cap button, the Psyduck is already out of the river and standing right in front of me. And it's like It's cute you want to pose for the photo but I wanted to take a photo of the swimming. bye.

Anyway caught lots of Pokemon. Saw some Pokemon I've never seen before. Like I vaguely knew about various Pokemon even if I didn't know the specifics. But I saw two Pokemon I haven't seen before at all. I figure Tadbulb evolves into the electric frog the gym leader has. The other was a red dog. I've seen fanart of Arven with a dog, I bet this small red dog evolves into that.

I also have a few tera raids, those were cool, they were all rank one of course. I got a Venonat which is cool because I haven't seen regularly in the wild yet.

I wandered into an area that was a bit strong for me and found another Pokemon that was entirely new to me. A psychic type with a bunch of frills. Was a bitch to catch, it kept breaking out of the ball and causing my team some major damage. I also caught various other Pokemon I already knew, like a pair of Rockruffs.

I did my first picnic and made a sandwich free style. I put so much food on it and when I put the break on it, it kinda fell apart. And then I just stuck the little ref flag into the lettuce. It looked more like a salad then a sandwich but none of my Pokemon seemed to mind. My Yarn Spider and Big Grass Cat fell asleep next to each other and I took a photo. Looks like a cat that got tuckered out from playing with a yarn ball.

Another thing, my flamingo kicks major ass. nothing but a tera raid has survived a double kick from it. This one has a major chance of staying on the Team permanently. It's so strong!

Anyway in terms of new Pokemon I also caught Smoliv and the little fairy steel Pokemon. I vaguely knew that the little fairy steel existed because a lot of people up it's final evo on the internet. I might put it on my team, eventually.

Eventually I went to the gym and did the challenge. May I mention it's a little disappointing I can't go into random people's houses now. I mean, it makes sense logically but I miss being able to just walk into people's houses and chat with them, and go through their garbage to see if there's anything there.

The challenge was fun, I hope I'm allowed to do it again just for fun. The giant olive made such a funny sound as it bounced around. It really want to try doing the maze part again because I just battled people for shortcuts (because I like battles) but I want to try the maze for real!

I tried letting my poison Wooper shine for this match. Unfortunately, it fainted while battling Teddiursa, it at least poisoned it. Feels a bit anti climatic to send out a stronger 2nd Pokemon just to do the last but of damage. It would have been nicer to finish it off with Wooper. But anyway I got the bug badge. The gym leader, I don't know her age but she feels like a kindly old woman.

It was at this moment I really felt spoiled for choice, "where do I go next?" I pondered. There was truly an impossible amount of choices but I know I can't really just go wherever I want because of the lack of level scaling.

So I asked Pokecenter lady and she told me to go for the 1st titan next and I said "ok". Guess I'm going to rely on her to help me with this. So next time I'll be fighting that 1st Titan.

[rey-of-luke]

1, 5, 7, 13, 16, 20, 25 and 27 for the bidding ask!!

send me vidder asks!

under the cut bc this got very long.

1. What program do you use?

Sony Vegas! *it may be a precracked version from youtube i got years ago*

5. Hardest vid to edit?

Hmm... anything with a lot of effects is usually hard for me to edit. Normally this happens with collab parts but of my own vids, probably these three off the top of my head?

The first two were because I was trying out text effects and the last one is because I was trying multicouples for the first time AND trying to make it look worthy for my Secret Santa giftee.

7. Have you made a vid for a fanfic author?

Not yet! I would love to though, especially because there's so many good ones out there. I'm just too intimidated whoever I make it for would hate it.

13. Vid that took you the longest to edit?

THIS ONE. I have one that's been unfinished for even longer but it's not anywhere near finished. This one I finally finished after starting it in... 2020? I think it was?

16. Favorite thumbnail for one of your videos?

Any of these tbh.

20. How many subscribers do you have?

Um... holy shit, 1.13k. Idk how or even what any of those people are doing there because I don't edit as much as I'd like to bc of real life and other hobbies AND tbh my edits aren't anything amazing; there are so so so many more talented vidders out there.

25. How long have you been vidding for?

Since November 2015! Started vidding bc I was so excited for TFA (man how I miss those days; my relationship with Disney Star Wars is... complicated these days). It's unlisted bc I hate it now but this was the first ever vid I made!

27. Advice for anyone just starting their channel?

It's inevitable you'll compare yourself to other vidders and think 'my work is terrible'. I still do that. But the important thing is that YOU are proud of what you make. So what if you don't get a bunch of comments, or likes, or subscribers? If YOU'RE happy with the vid you made, that's all that matters.

Also, don't be afraid to reach out and try to befriend other vidders! A lot of people are more than happy to welcome newer vidders (myself included) because everyone starts somewhere. It is also a good way to help find footage if you're like me and REFUSE to use any types of torrents - which speaking of, Twitter, Instragram, and Discord servers are often your best friend to finding footage. Or having a close vidding friend that's willing to send you a link to something you can't find (had a friend do that for me for my Walker and Walker: Indepedence footage).

Tutorials will be your best friend, along with watching other vidders - you'll get an idea of how to use effects/text/overlays/etc. Just if you find yourself using a similar style, make sure to add something about an inspiration and link to the vid that inspired you in the description (best way to try and avoid drama which... at least on vidding Twitter when I've lurked the drama can be... intense). Don't let that scare you though!

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary268

6/11-12/24

tuesday - wednesday

the man came and sprayed

and we came home to see many dead and dying roaches on the ground, a grotesque hope but i hope we see more dying soon.

i did go to an urgent care today for my throat, they said nothing was wrong... so my gf wasted money on me. i feel bad about that. i hope i can sleep tonight without any pain.

up too late because i worked too much on the cover art stuff,, hope that is done soon. i might spend all of tomorrow doing that.

pretty shortly a friend from out of town will be here, i hope by then i am not ill, not like this, at least.

the camera things also came today, i won't post any vids from the handycam but here are some frames i pulled out of it, very fond of the interlacing stuff, i imagine this is what some people i see online do for photos, the video cam makes me think one thing i could do for taking pics for the cover art is instead stick it somewhere where i like it, pose a bunch over a few minutes, and then rip out the frames and select the best one for the cover art. that seems prudent, i might also try and get some actual pix taken.

here are the frames i ripped testing, of myself:

this last one i really like, it's me messing with the night vision light while having a light on in the room still. very crazy look imo.

the psp camera came, here's some pics i took with that:

my little shrine area

the apartment a mess because we still had to get everything situated then, in a very funny filter.

i really like the filters on the camera, they're almost too horrible to use but that makes them artistically interesting, i can maybe figure something out with them? there's a toy camera setting which is interesting to me.

i made a dumb mistake with the video camera, i didn't realize it was only coming with a dvd-r, not rw or +rw, so it's not a rewritable disc, so i finalized it thinking i could undo that,.. but i cannot.. soo... unfortunate. i had to buy some other discs cuz of that, i have 4 dvd-rws coming on the way (i think 2 reg and 2 +rw) which is a pointless distinction as far as i can gather but maybe they look different or behave different? weird stuff if you ask me. but it's worth it. i also need to get an sd card loaded into it so i can take regular photos with it. that seems rather fun, #imo.

anyway, i really must sleep now. things are in progress, now i'm getting funny ideas for music vids and stuff, exciting stuff there... yeay....

so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

It appears Britney's memoir has many people going crazy about stuff but I've made up my mind about a few things cause at the end of the day I'm just a fan. Or rather was. I dunno how to call myself lately but anyway. I stopped being Justin's fan the moment I heard that part from that N'SYNC interview that he was showing off about taking Britney's "virginity" which I find very low to do, regardless of your age. People cut him some slack back then, saying he was too young and that boys can be like that-shut the fuck up. I could be a 15 year old teen and if my boyfriend went around saying he took my virginity I would break up with him and fuck his life up.

But yeah, that aside, I found an interview of the woman who co-wrote Everytime with Britney and she said they both wrote it based on their breakups and that they found a connection through the heartache. Nothing was said about abortions and stuff so if Britney added all that without the other lady knowing, I dunno, but it was a song about breakup as far as she is concerned, but with media blowing up and making their own stories, this is what you could get too. Also the baby in the vid is born after she supposedly dies which amplifies that this was indeed why it was written, but she also comes out of the bathtub at the end of the vid which shows that was all her imagination. There is a lot to unpack and people had better actually read the book before making up stories based on the 2 lines they were given before release.

Finally the new shit around Aguilera and Justin, I think Britney's views are Britney's views on this one cause, being a fan of all 3 of them back then I had followed the whole hype around that photoshoot and I was so excited Christina and Justin had a shoot together, but I also clearly remember Christina talking about it and how people would probably love to make sth out of it, but that she considers him a very dear friend and that's it. I don't believe anything happened between them cause she always had that flirty attitude about her, it was just a photoshoot and they seemed to have fun with it. She was in the spotlight for being a bitch and a whore at the time, so of course you'd believe what the media said (Britney included). Also back then many tried to come up with issues and rivalry between Britney and Christina, stuff which both denied as time passed. Sure Christina's pettiness at times like that TRL comment she had made (i believe it was in 2003 and the clip must be somewhere on youtube) spiked those claims but at the end of the day, she didn't go out of her way to harm her and Britney kept ignoring such comments. Christina can be a bitch sometimes and I say that as a lifelong fan, who's always had her as her no 1 favorite woman singer and still do, but one to steal your man and be like that? I can't see it I am sorry. She is free to prove me wrong too, but I can see how Britney could feel that way if, after her breakup with Justin that's one of the first shoots he did (which I believe isn't the case, cause they broke up in 2002 and the shoot happened in 2003, right?), or if his friendship with Christina got stronger after their breakup because Justin approached her more.

I dunno. All I hope is that Britney gets to live happily from now on, with a man who loves and respects her and that's it.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Soooo, um..... guys, real talk, but do you think I should detrans??? I've been thinking about it a lot. Pretty much the only vids my social media recommends are about detrans or forced detrans and it's kinda making me really hot, ngl. Like nothing has made my cock so hard before, even if my poor stunted cock is only three inches fully erect! Mmmmm, it could be so huge if I took T and steroids! I could have a huge, thick cock I can barely wrap my hand around! One I can jerk off like a total gooner loser for hours on end every day....

But I love being a girl! I've been living as a girl since forever. I don't even remember what it's like being seen as a boy! And I love my gorgeous titties daddy bought me, and my thick ass that guys just love to fuck as they squeeze my boobs and rub my tiny cock! Mmmm, it's such a girly dream! But I can't help thinking about these vids, where the mtftm guys talk about just wanting to live out their perverted fantasy of what being a girl is instead of being a girl!

Like most real girls get pissed off or annoyed by catcalls and loads of male attention. I get an erection..... And I usually turn to them, wave, and ask them if they want to have fun..... Most girls get scared if a man is aggressively following them. I get super excited and usually play hard to get.... only to accidentally 'corner myself' or 'trip'. My cock will immediately get so stiff I almost cum if they start ripping off my clothes or pull out a knife. I'll drool in ecstasy if they start fucking my ass. I'll of course fake scream and struggle, but always get so hard I start cumming like crazy as they ravage me...... When they feel that I have a cock, and that it's hard and my panties are full of cum, they immediately turn into total animals, calling me every name imaginable, especially a fake girl or the t-slur. Sometimes they'll even call me a dumb, perverted boy. ❤️

But normal girls aren't that way.... they don't get thrilled by getting their clothes ripped off, their holes violated.... I must just be a perverted fake girl like all these detrans boys! It would explain so much about me. Godddd I'm such a junkie for my own fantasies that I really took hormones and begged daddy for a pair of porn tits. I really am a freak. Gee I wonder what would happen to my petite, perfect feminine body if I didn't tell anyone anything, but started taking testosterone, dick growth pills, and steroids? Like, not say a word to my friends or boss or family, still dress like a girl as my beautiful female body becomes manly. My beard coming in, which of course I'd always struggle to keep up with and apologize, reminding everyone I was born a boy.... My voice would deepen, I'd get an Adam's apple, hair on my boobs. And I'd just tell people I still have my testicles so I guess I'm going through male puberty anyway..... oops. It just happens to 'girls' like me sometimes, you have to understand, don't be too hard on me.... ❤️❤️❤️

And eventually once I'm super muscular, my face looking 100% like a man, my voice all deep, not feminine in the slightest, my cock huge and impossible to hide, I'll start being gross and hitting on all the girls, rubbing my cock through my clothes, telling them how much I'd love to put a dozen or so kids in their bellies. Then I'll be fired, I'll have to live with my mom and dad. They'll laugh at their big burly son with implants and finally take them out, ending the last tiny piece of my delusion that I could ever live as a girl again. Then I'll sit at home, jerk off all day, go out to bars and have my way with all kinds of sexy college girls like I used to pretend to be. I can't wait to be a gross, perverted stud who only cares about two things: stroking my cock, and forcing my cock into as many beautiful girls' holes as possible. Finally live the dream of being a real man, just like I was always meant to be.....! ❤️ Thank God these social media algorithms target dumb fake girls like me and help us see the light!"

[stayxlix]

CHAPTER 4 LET’S GAURRR!

Ooh ‘the eighth’ sounds sexy Welcome back to season 3 ( or 2?) of Julian’s play-by-play commentary hehe🤭 Sorry in advance for how long this ask is gonna be.

“You will come across many soulmates in your current lifetime. But that doesn't mean you will get to keep them.” WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?😃Pls don’t raise my blood pressure from the get-go. Anyways concept photos ate as always. Bottom left one is my favourite. The minsung one is kinda unsettling tho… foreshadowing maybe👀

Btw Minho best not give me a hard time this chapter I literally do NOT have the capacity to deal with his beef rn. Idk why I think mc will win Jeongin over tho. But hey, we’ll see! I’m literally weak with excitement!! Oh and 15k + wordcount is crazy btw I’m so proud of you <3

“Out of all of the memories he had ever made, Felix had pushed most of them away. He buried them so deep that sometimes, he wondered if he would even be able to recall them if he tried.” *takes a long breath* that… hit home.

Wait so Chanlix are all the way from district 2?? Damn. This concerns me so much because the life they have now in district 6 must be lowkey paradise compared to what they probably had before. I’ve been wondering if the rebels have family. But we’ll see.

“…using Jeongin's homemade "thunder bombs" 퉤 퉤 퉤! 소리꾼! (TWE TWE TWE SORRIKUN)

“Not everyone had as much to offer as Minho, who was beyond skilled in his knowledge of healing.” Now I feel bad for going off on him in my reaction vid :((((( Also ngl Hyunjin's perception is impressive. The way he's already figured mc and lix out. Could never be me💀 I'm so blind when it comes to this kind of thing.

Hold on….“Remember what we all agreed on, before you get too attached.”

HOLD ON…. “The same thought that had been replaying over and over again in his head since he saw that damn family crest around your neck.”

I HOPE THEY’RE NOT PLANNING TO KILL ME HELP– I really hope they didn't make a pact to end me💀💀✋

“So what if he wanted to know how you looked with your lips wrapped around his *[dinky-donk]* instead.” I have so many inappropriate things to say…. (This was WILD)

“Felix wasn't like Jisung, who could charm his way into convincing whatever semi-interested human being he stumbled across in god knows where to fuck him.” You sure about that bro? Let’s not forget chapter 1😃

“Terrified for this moment to end because once it did, you would be forced to come to terms with the permanence of the decision you had made tonight, and what it meant for not only your future, but the future of every innocent person that you passed by, sleeping soundly without any idea that a war had just begun.” SO WELL WRITTEN! SAURRR WELL WRITTEN MWUAH

“and then, to your surprise, he left your side without a word.” UHM???? EXCUSE YOU???

“But that wasn't the only reason.” PURRR MC GO GET THAT *[retracted for the sake of modesty]*

“…and sometimes Jisung who just likes to be wherever Minho is.” You’re so real for this BAHAH💀💀

“He took a few steps closer, inviting himself into your personal space once again.” TRYING TO KEEP IT TOGETHER RN BUT I’M SLOWLY LOSING MY SANITY

“Oh, I dont know. The fact that you can't seem to keep your tongue out of my mouth?” I LOVE MC WITH EVERY BONE IN MY BODY UGH JCKVJDNSL

“After all, every time you'd kissed, he had been the one to initiate it.” THAT’S THE THING!! TELL THE MF!

“Felix was the king of sending mixed signals and you had half a mind to call him out for it…” DO. IT.

“Felix brought his hands up to rest against the wall on either side of you, closing you in.” I don’t want to keep reading I cannot keep reading I’ll d!e if I keep reading I-

my sweet Jules🥹💕💕💕 can I first just say that your enthusiasm for this story is so much more appreciated than you will ever know. like words cannot even BEGIN to express how i felt when I saw your asks pop into my inbox yesterday, but i will do my very best. i’m finally sitting down for the evening to answer these (and have been looking forward to it for two whole days) so lets get started..(i'll make sure to comment as much as i can without revealing any spoilers🤭)

"I HOPE THEY’RE NOT PLANNING TO KILL ME HELP– I really hope they didn't make a pact to end me"

and already i'm reminding myself..NO SPOILERS

“...Hyunjin’s perceptive is impressive...”

especially when it comes to lix.🫢 and don’t feel too bad about going off on minho just yet….

“You sure about that bro? Let’s not forget chapter 1”

i’m💀 omg lix doesn’t see himself this way alright.😂😭 (however right you may be)

it means so much to me that you always take the time to mention the concept photos and i will never ever forget when you said that each chapter has a different color that you associate with it. that touched my heart more than you will ever know.🥹🤍 and the word count honestly at the rate I was going I was terrified it was going to be something like 18k lmao but thankfully we were able to condense a bit.😂

THE THUNDEROUS LYRICS.😂 ty for including this lmao i HAD to include a thunderous reference somewhere because it may or may not be my fav skz song of all time and I will fight anyone who tries to tell me it isn’t a masterpiece

"SO WELL WRITTEN! SAURRR WELL WRITTEN MWUAH"

(ily lmao) this was a last minute addition like an hour before i posted the chapter🤭 so the fact that you included it here made me giggle. and if i’m being honest our mc really has become very special to me too. i had absolutely no idea when i first started writing this story how attached i was going to become to her but i really have grown to hold a special place for her in my heart so once again thank you for this.💕💕💕

going to head on over to part 2 now....(mostly because i need to cut myself off or i will spend all night on this one ask alone because there is so much to unpack with your commentaries and you know i absolutely love you for that<33)

[dzpenumbra]

10/2/22

I started the day off a bit rough. I got on edge and frustrated over something small, then felt like the life just drained out of me. I slept like shit so it might have had something to do with that. Also started the antibiotics yesterday too. I don't know. I just don't like doing things that I'm not proud of. I just feel very obligated to be true to my emotions and work through them, rather than avoid or suppress them, because of how badly that has screwed me over in the past.

I'm very tired. I might try to just get to sleep.

I guess the only thing I want to share that's immediately on my mind is... well two things, I guess. The tincture... not sure what it's doing, tbh. I barely feel it and I'm almost to the highest dose. But my sleep had been getting steadily better.

The second is... I've been trying to barrel headlong through impostor syndrome and whatever it's called when you actually are doing work but you don't feel like you're working hard enough... whatever that is, that too. I have been neglecting the SketchDailies. I stopped working on Rimworld D&D. I paused the new Rimworld playthrough concept. I've been debating dropping livestreams entirely and just focusing on YouTube content. I'm just... very up in the air, I guess. The only constant right now is recording playing Session and snagging clips. The running plan is to do Instagram vids of one or two tricks that I'm learning/learned. Then release the full week of clips at the end of the week, like Friday or Saturday or something.

I don't know, I just... feel like I could be doing much more. I keep doing this whole like... being on the phone for 3-4 hours at a time thing, and the whole time I'm... not getting anything done. Like... I really need to train myself to draw when I do that shit instead of wandering around the house. Like don't get me wrong, I'm getting in good shape from just pacing in circles around my house for hours at a time. Might actually be burning too many calories doing that. So maybe I need to just train that. Or you know what... people could just come the fuck over to my house and chill and talk while I'm making art. That's a thing. I mean, they live 5 minutes away... And I'm moving in like a month.

It's so frustrating what the world has become. Maybe it's always been sorta like this, maybe the people I'm around just changed... I don't know. But what it has been in my proximity, it's been seriously impossible to get anyone to do anything. Make plans, get excited, work on projects, go on a damn walk, fuckin anything. I can barely get phone calls, honestly. I don't ever get texts. It's just so... sad. And then I end up in this weird situation where I actually feel bad about inviting people to my house, or to play games, or to go skating. Like me asking them is an imposition or something, like it puts them in the awkward position where they would have to give the implicitly obvious response "um... no..."

Ugh, I don't know what it is. But it got in my head pretty deep. And I'm really gonna need to recondition myself. I need to be around better people. And I had a mini-freakout earlier about that. How the fuck am I going to meet people my age when I move? Like... aren't they all parents now? Maybe I'm just sorta not really processing that fully on a day-to-day basis. I am single, in my mid-30s, never married, no kids. That's... not very common, is it? At least where I am, naw. I mean, I'll see a few people on dating apps that are also claiming that, but we never match. It's overwhelmingly single mothers, divorcees. Not that I have a problem with that, it's just... something I haven't experienced yet. I have never been a father. I have never been a husband. I nannied my former goddaughter for a little bit when she was real little. I took care of my dog and cat and tried to be a good father to them, once I finally grew the fuck up and took that role seriously. But never to a human that saw me as a father figure. And I strongly doubt I've ever been in a relationship with someone who liked me enough to consider marriage. So... maybe that's a barrier for me, and puts me in a weird category?

It feels almost like arrested development in a way, but the lack of distractions in this stage of life has left me cavernous amounts of free time, with which I studied, and drew, and played music, and played games. I learned. But I can never practice the things that aren't available to me, you know? Like... you can never get good at drums if you don't practice... drums. If you don't have a drum set available. You can tap on your legs and shit... okay, you know what, better analogy. You can't get good at singing if you never sing. There. I'm sure someone could find a hole in that analogy but I like it much better, it's very true. I can kinda tell when I listen to people sing what kind of context they are used to singing in. You can't practice projecting your voice if you don't have a space to practice projecting your voice in where it wouldn't be upsetting others. Like a practice space or a car or something. So that feels like my experience with social dynamics, romantic relationships and potential parenthood.

I want them very badly. I am scared of them now, which is very sad. It's a really big paradox in my personality that's been building friction. My anxieties and depression have been inflating a lot lately, I'm guessing my confidence levels are dropping pretty quick. It definitely feels like it, to be honest. The paradox I'm feeling is that I want more than anything to be a husband and a father, to have a family. My whole life I've wanted that. Now... I'm scared of it. I never have been in the past. I always was 100% all-in with it. I want nothing more than to be a dad to an awesome kid. Probably a daughter, but who knows. Maybe it's having gone through losing essentially a surrogate child. Maybe that's it. Fuck. I mean this shift is very recent... That would add up too... man, I'm really glad I journal now, I legit had no idea I felt that way.

I'm worried of fucking it up. I'm worried of having a kid who develops the same family stuff me, my brothers and my dad have. It's like... being very smart and creative... but also super anxious and withdrawn. I think it's a very likely outcome. I honestly think I could teach that kid more than anyone could have ever taught me... you know, because I put my entire life the past... 10+ years... into digging deep into the mechanics and meaning behind these behaviors. I have been exploring. The final frontier. The frontier of the human consciousness, exploring itself. I've learned a lot, I learn more and more each day. So... maybe it would actually be good. I guess I'm just sorta in-general scared now. I'm getting tired of it. Being afraid all the time is so draining.

I'm glad I wrote tonight, but I'm gonna wrap things up and try to get to bed early. This dawn to 1-2 PM sleep schedule is just kind fucking up my ability to get anything done in the world. I would really like to go on regular walks again. I miss being in nature, feeling my toes in the dirt, hearing the rush of water, the rustle of leaves, the birds calling and squirrels and chipmunks chirping. Tomorrow should be the day I get to revisit. Rest well.

[echonidae]

also ! working on the speedpaint video woo

[faeryarchives]

hello! i'm not too sure how many characters i requested for characters with a kamisato ayaka!s/o, but i would like to just change the amount of characters since i specifically would like to see these characters to have headcanons with her and how they react as they watch her do her dance she performed for the traveler: riddle, leona, vil, malleus and lilia! i just wanted to see some wholesome things because your twst characters with genshin-like characters makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside www

take your time writing them, have a good day!

also did you pull for ayato 👀

thank you for the compliment really i am glad it makes u happy >< and yes i did pull for ayato and got his c1 after 30 pulls in ahihi ❤️ this is the vid for ayaka's dance for those who doesn't know or haven't reach to inazuma yet

riddle, leona, vil, malleus and lilia with a kamisato ayaka like fem!reader!

dignified and elegant, wise and determined. sincere and pleasant to others. universally loved by her people, she has earned the title of shirasagi himegimi.

: ̗̀➛ riddle rosehearts

"oh greetings, i am (name) of the kamisato clan. can you kindly tell me what is this place?"

oh god, riddle never met someone as graceful as you in his life. sure his mother is strict but graceful but she didn't even reach a half of your gracefulness 🥰

his heart would waver whenever you offer to help him out if he had this troubled look on his face and this man didn't have the heart to turn you away resulting to him telling you about his worries

and you didn't seem to mind at all!

he really appreciate on how you would give him advise and at the same time you are also trying to be friends with him 🎉 despite what happened during the events before the first overblot

and when the two of you got closer, he could read you like an open book but in a good way. it helps riddle to know whether you need something or you just want to hang out

"(name)? i saw your text and came over. is there something wrong?"

"oh hi riddle! nothing, i just received some cooking materials from mister crowley and mister crewel, so i thought why don't we make some pizza together?"

he is blinded by your innocence and purity honestly

riddle invited you for a cup of tea - just the two of you and that is when you knew finally got the courage to show your best friend your dance

"hey riddle, here is something i want to show you. please don't laugh okay?"

"oh, okay feel free but why would i laugh?"

the dorm leader eyes slightly widen as you hum, bringing out your (color) fan and started dancing. if he were to describe your dance it would be magical and elegant.

his face would show amazement and excitement as you used your blooming ice causing small cryo snowflakes to rain down on the two of you.

"well? did i do good?"

"good? no, you absolutely did great!"

he is now your number one fan and best friend next to grim and would absolutely give you compliments whenever you show him another dance that you learned from your sister back in your world.

: ̗̀➛ leona kingscholar

to be honest, leona would be cool with you.

when you and your friends confronted them about the magift, this lion told the other savanaclaw to not bring you any harm not a single strand of your hair or there will be consequences

but after seeing you beat a group of second year students fighting grim - leona was taken aback with your sword skills, he did not expect that!

so whenever you train with your sword, leona would miraculous by where you are training leading to him pointing out the flaws in your attacks.

"hey herbivore, you are leaving yourself wide open at the back."

"oh i didn't notice that at all, thank you leona."

during your training, the two of you would often share stories with each other - mostly you because leona prefers to listen more than to talk

learning about your family and tradition perks leona's interest. he couldn't imagine the pressure that was passed on to you and your siblings when both of your parents passed away.

while you are talking about your parents, he could feel your down mood so he will sneakily pat your head with his tail and let out a grunt to let you know he is still listening

"you are a pretty listener leona."

"i probably prefer to listen more than to talk because it's troublesome."

"haha true you hate troublesome things."

after a long time of knowing each other, you decided to show leona the dance that you've learned from your sister while he was skipping class.

"leona, leona look! i have something to show you."

"ugh, what is it herbivore? i am trying to sleep."

"it will just take a while, i really want to show you this."

and his sleepiness went away when he saw you do your dance. the lion was amazed with your concentration and the sophisticated way you present? no wonder you've capture the attention of many in this school

"how did i do?"

"not bad herbivore, it was great."

leona let out a small smile and pat your head gently as the cryo particles slowly rain down on the two of you

you may not have your older siblings here in this unknown world but leona would make it his mission to make sure you are not hurt in anyway as your older brother here

: ̗̀➛ vil schoenheit

vil would totally like to be friends with you

the way you just present yourself with elegance and poise just really made the leader think "she's the epitome of elegance, i think she could help epel"

and news flash, you did became a good friend not only to epel but also to rook and vil! whenever epel is out doing his schoolworks, you would keep vil in company by sharing about your culture back in your nation

"so wearing kimono is part of your culture?"

"yes, and we also have several symbolism for most predominant inhabitants in our country. would you like to hear more?"

"i would very much want to hear more about your country's culture and tradition."

the longer the two of you talk, the more he discover about you and your problems of being the shirasagi himegimi

feeling afraid of not meeting the expectations of the people who are expecting too much, he knows that too well.

"it's just hard sometimes when you are seen by everyone as the perfect role model, it's scary when you make just one mistake and you might lost it all."

and whenever you are having a stressful day, your best friend will come to your rescue - taking you out for spa dates and shopping the best happy pill ever

you were debating when you will show your dance to vil until one day you got the chance to and that is when he was having a hard time to think of an inspiration for his look in the upcoming catwalk

"how would i match it with my outfit..."

"maybe i can help? i want to show you something."

"what is that potato?"

trust me when i say vil is very stunned - he could feel different kind of inspiration flooding his mind. inspired by the breathtaking small pieces of cryo floating around the two of you, your calm and poised facial expression as you continue on performing your dance

"potato, that was amazing. thank you you gave me so much inspiration right now."

he could've never been proud to be your friend during this moment and vil would be proud to say that he is your friend anytime

: ̗̀➛ malleus draconia

ngl the moment the two of you first meet each other - you would just stare at each other for minutes

malleus never met someone like you, having very calming and sincere aura around as if you were untouched by the darkness while you are very interested in malleus because of his pointed ears and horns

"pardon me if i will sound rude, but your ears and horns looks so magical."

"oh why thank you child of man. you are the only one who told me that."

"am i? well maybe they are just shy?"

i would have the feeling that the two of you would go along - belonging to well-known family and how people would treat the two of you? he never feel so connected with someone before!

this dragon fae would be very interested listening to your stories about your friend traveler helping in saving your nation and archon.

"thanks to traveller, no more people will be afraid of having their visions and no more fighting."

"they are very strong indeed, i hope that they do find their twin soon."

being so open with your horned bestie, you always share anything you know about each other but you haven't told him one thing and that is about the dance you learned in the past

feeling that you already trust malleus enough, you decided to show him one day.

"hey mal, i have something to show you."

"what is it beastie?"

"it's just a secret between us okay?"

malleus have seen different kind of dances but not as magical as yours - your blooming ice making your dance more eye catching than ever, highlighting your refine moves as you dance along the song that you are humming

as the dance end, he couldn't help but to clap continuously. you could see in his face of being thrilled by your performance. the fae extended his hand - making a (color) rose appear as he slightly bow down and presented the rose in front of you.

"that was a very wonderful performance beastie, here is a rose as a gratitude for showing me something so beautiful. thank you for sharing this secret with me."

: ̗̀➛ lilia vanrouge

oh lilia, he would probably the one who will assist you whenever you are lost about something in twisted wonderland

wondering about the history of nrc? this fae got you. curious about the great seven history? no problem!

it's like he sees you as his daughter bc all of his adoptive children are sons so he is grateful that you came and now he can dote on you

"(name) my daughter~ you are here!"

oh hi lilia. it's nice to see you so energetic in the morning."

"so are we going to ignore the fact he called my henchman his daughter?"

i am 100% percent sure he will become you parent and brother figure making you sometimes feel sad because even though you really like it here, missing your friends and family back home is inevitable

and lilia would always comfort you by saying he will do anything for you to see them again

"what if i don't see them anymore?"

"don't be silly little bat, i will look for a way you can go back to your own world and a way for you to visit here sometimes."

"thank you lilia..."

even though you consider the two of you as very close friends and developed a familial bond already, lilia could sense you want to show him something but your nervousness would always win and he just let it be - not wanting to push you if you don't want to tell

until finally you showed him, during your walk in the garden.

"lilia, i have something to show you."

"go on, your father is watching."

"please don't laugh at me."

as you start to dance, this fae could already feel the tears swelling up in his eyes, like a proud parent watching his child performing the most beautiful dance and summoning your blooming ice making small snowflakes to appear everywhere.

"bravo my little bat! your dance is very eye catching and beautiful! words are not enough to describe how elegant it is!"

lilia would absolutely shower you with compliments and give you a big hug, repeating over and over again that you were the best and as your father he is very very very proud of you.

lmao im typing this while vox is crying in his stream 😭